#ah whatev
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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I had to.
#cult of the lamb#cotl#narinder#cult of the lamb narinder#cotl narinder#redrawing#forgor the red line in the robe#ah whatever
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it's only mutilation to the uninformed.
#ah whatever i dont like this one much but it was quick#forcemasc#boy hypno#ftm hypno#autoandrophilia#autoandrophile#forced masculinization#gay nsft#transgender#trans nsft#trans hypnosis
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stardew valley marriage candidates
#stardew valley#oh dear god character tagging. ok here we go#sdv alex#sdv elliot#sdv harvey#sdv sam#sdv sebastian#sdv shane#sdv abigail#sdv emily#sdv haley#sdv leah#sdv maru#sdv penny#it's like memorising an entire homeroom class#I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW THEY'D TRANSLATE INTO MY STYLE#bros the concept of this town full of bisexuals that could want you is so funny#like I have mostly just been farming but it makes me laugh when I remember#ah yes. bisexual town#obv that's an umbrella term in this context and you're free to HC them whatever you wish#I just think bisexual town has so much potential for shenanigans
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👁️ 👁️ hey. I love your creepy moon
hey. i think he likes you too.
#ah!#he’s going in for the boop#um… i like ur art A LOT#like i rui rui like ur stuff 👁️👅👁️#so expressive#u make it look so easy#i get a lil harmonic pang in my chest when i see ur content#whatever that means lol#anyway i am honored that you sent me mail (via carrier pigeon)#also SRY I AM A MONTH BEHIND ON ASKS#if ur ask came after this time last month (which is everybody) im planning on doing a doodle or a more involved answer for it#art#ask#fnaf moon#fnaf dca#dca fandom#dca fanart#dca#fnaf fanart#fnaf#fanart#moondrop#the sketch for this took me hours for absolutely no reason#eyestrain
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they're done! a little study of psittacosaurus sibiricus. i really like them and wanted to explore and learn more about their anatomy in the process!
#just as i post it i see a mistake but AH whatever it's almost 6am#i've suffered long enough#i really like them overall#they look silly#a yippieeee kind of creature#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#paleoart#paleoland#psittacosaurus#psittacosaurus sibiricus
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part 3, they’re back to being silly idiots
(part 1) (part 2)
#ah the mind reading crystal saga#i did Not intend to make multiple parts but whatever people enjoyed it so i kept going#they’re.so stupid i hate these guys#(affectionate)#the tone shift between each part’s been like 📈📉📈#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#gravity falls fanart#my art#rystiart#the stwins just can’t stay emotionally vulnerable for long
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ok. tbh now i am 21 i feel like maybe its appropriate to say "man crushes" and what not... i am a full grown Man
#IM GOING TO BE SHORT FOREVER NOOOOO NOO!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#fuck you jmo ho my god#ive had multiple peipke tell me i havr tall energy#im so devastated i say stone faced irl#no thats so sad though#ah whatev#pretty cool though i can buy anything in any store
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Tiny skk adventures!
not like they're also cranky and tired and touch-starved
#tiny skk adventures#''why is chuuya at the ada'' you're asking too many questions. why is any of this happening.#this skk flavour (like most i offer) comes with a free choice of romantic platonic something in-between or whatever else you may want#but here the longing is mandatory#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd dazai#bsd dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#bsd nakahara chuuya#skk#soukoku#and friends#nawy's comics#AH DANG I FORGOT TO WRITE#dedicated to remi who's enabling me and bombarding me with ideas for the tinies
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For the epic bird who managed to revive a fandom @randomalistic (<- SUCH A PASSIONATE AND KIND PERSON BTW YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO WATCH THEIR VIDEO IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! GO GO GO THIS IS AN ORDER!!!)
bonus doodles teehee, got attached to the idea of a little bird and its oxpecker-like relationship with the world's largest parasite :]c
#art#wreck it ralph#king candy#this guy has like 3 different names how do I tag this specific form?#ah whatever it's the bug#There's so much packed in that analysis I can't even put into proper words how good it is JUST GO WATCH IT!#ITS SO LOVINGLY MADE AND THEY GO IN DETAIL ABOUT THE ARTISTS AND THE BASTARD HIMSELF AND THE part where it talks about Vinny...#(GRITTING MY TEETH AND SOBBING) GOOD SHIT!!!#godspeed you silly bird <3
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Bisexual Gambit icons cause I need more of him, the world needs more of him, and I am but a starving fan.
(You can use without credit btw)
#gambit#gambit xmen#remy lebeau#x men#x men the animated series#x men 97#uncanny xmen#swarm uh...swarm the uh#what do I tag these as??#ah whatever#swarms-art
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he's trying his best n you gotta applaud him for it
(referenced picture under the cut)
i love ace n deuce's dynamic so very much they make me ill. whether perceived as platonic, romantic or whatever secret third option they may have (though i do prefer platonic adeuce over romantic any day lol), they're a messy bunch n i love that.
#art#fanart#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst fanart#twisted wonderland fanart#ace trappola#deuce spade#twst ace#twst deuce#adeuce#does this even count as adeuce?#ah whatever#vaunteir's art thangz
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JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS
head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn…..
satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.
megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.
i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words.
also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..
don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money
nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)
#anonymous#nanami kento.......................................... god#also yuuji :((((( just a kid who wanted to do something nice for his grandpa I will CRY#immediate proposal when he gets home to you who does he think he is? yuuta?#speaking of yuuta he's like the best player his age and he's always asked to attend events or parties or whatever#and he's always like ah no thank you I am going home to my girlfriend#every fucking interview it's like yeah I love tennis but I love my girlfriend more for supporting and encouraging me#my girlfriend my girlfriend my girlfriend#one day he actually seems Excited to be doing his press conference and a journalist picks up on it to which yuuta happily raises his hand#and lets everyone know that he's now engaged. and very very grateful for his wife#he does the same shit a few years later like randomly during a press conference he's like#'I am kinda nervous. my baby didn't sleep well last night so I was up with him pretty late' and everyone's like BABY?#and yuutas like yeah! he's almost 14 months now do u wanna see him!#let me stop bringing kids into this bc w/ satoru and kento I could go on for hours....#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#yuuta x reader#yuuji x reader#megumi x reader#nanami kento x reader#once u asked megumi what he thinks about when he's practicing and he's so deadpan as he reloads and arrow#and right before he lets it go he's like 'ur ex boyfriend' and then hits the target dead in the center LMFAO#olympics au
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i have a lot of Beatles sketches that im probably not going to finish like these ones so i thought id post them for u guys <333
#also these are all outta order HELP#im also not exactly perfect at drawing them they have such unique features#let’s play whos my favorite… ITS OBVIOUS#the beatles#paul mccartney#john lennon#george harrison#beatles#mclennon#yellow submarine#my art#shittt I forgot what my art tag is guys#ah whatever
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Luzik
#sheerak#ah yes the most powerful glyph of all - circle#the owl house#luz noceda#toh fanart#the owl house fanart#i am somewhere between I can draw whatever I want even if it's ugly and no one cares about it and i have to find a job one day
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megumi alive megumi comeback megumi safe itafushi reunion megumi fights back
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk leaks#jjk 260#jjk 261#jjk 262#yk what whatever#jjk 263#jjk 264#ah shit here we go again#jjk 265#jjk 266
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