#again i will mention - i cannot speak for the pair myself since im have no right to actually do that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nastybuckybarnes · 4 years ago

Text

Of Kings and Beasts - Two

Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve

Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrusted to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Smut, NonCon, Language, Kinda Slow Burn, Bucky with the mood swings, Probably poor editing

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: I cannot put into words how tired I am rn like idk why im so tired all the time but I am. Anyway, here's another part of this cause I like this series but its SO FUCKING DARK LIKE SO DAMN DARK PLEASE BE WARNED!! I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WRITING PART THREE BECAUSE ITS FUCKING DARK

THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND VERY DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

PART ONE

~*~

“Your Majesty? Are you feeling at all better today?” You shake your head, curled up on your bed in the fetal position in a pathetic attempt at blocking out the world.

“Please, Majesty. A walk and some fresh air will do you well. It needn’t be long.” You sigh and push your blankets away from your face.

“You will not stop until I agree, will you?” Natasha smiles gently at you. “I’m afraid not, Your Majesty. It is only for your health that I insist.” She helps you to your feet, a frown on her face at the way you struggle still to move.

“You are still in pain?” You simply nod, wincing when she has you step into a dress.

“The pain is more bearable than it was.” She nods, mind wandering as she helps you into your dress for the day.

It’s a simple navy dress with a gold string wrapping around the waist. The sleeves hang past your fingers and you toy with the pretty fabric while Natalia holds an arm around your waist.

The walk is painful and slow and with every step, you wish you were back in your room.

From the looks you get from the staff, you know it’s known how unwelcome you are. This is not how you thought your union would be at all.

~*~

“You were supposed to take care of her! Treat her with kindness and compassion! Not leave her bloody on her bed once you’ve satisfied your need!” Natalia snarls, slamming her hand on the King’s desk. He looks up at her, a bored expression on his face until he processes her words. Then his expression gradually changes to one of regret.

“I... I hadn’t meant to be so rough with her. She... I just... It’s a betrayal, Natalia. I’ve broken my oath to the man I love.” She shakes her head, glaring at him.

“No, it is not. You and Steven made an agreement that you would find a queen. You chose her specifically. And now that Steve is no longer here you’re wanting to back out? That is not how this works, James, and you know that.”

He grinds his teeth together so hard he’s surprised they don’t break.

“That’s exactly the problem! Every time I look at her I’m reminded of him! Because we were supposed to have her together! We were supposed to marry her together and bed her together! She is not mine, she was meant to be ours!”

“And so you treat her like a burden because your husband is not here? You act as though she is nothing more than a whore? That woman in there has feelings, James.” The king pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut to try and reign in his anger.

“You could never possibly understand what it is that I’m feeling. I already admitted to being rougher than I wanted to be. And I should have stopped, but I needed to get it through to consummate the marriage.”

Nat pauses at his words, hoping he doesn’t mean what she thinks he means.

“What do you mean you should have stopped? Did she tell you to stop?”

He swallows hard before nodding.

“She... I could hardly understand her, she was crying so much, but she begged me to a-and she was pushing me away. But I didn’t.”

The harsh sound of her hand connecting with his cheek echoes through the room. The King is stunned but he knows he deserves far worse than a mere smack.

“I never thought you capable of such cruelty, James. That woman is your wife, the Queen of your Kingdom, and you have treated her as if she is the one who took your husband from you.”

He grows angry at the mention of the man he loves. “She is attempting to replace him!” He exclaims, slamming his fist down on his desk to enunciate his point.

“How could you possibly know that?!” Nat counters, her voice raised to match his.

“She has said nothing about wanting to replace Steven! She was well aware that she would be bound to both kings, not just you. I’m sure she is wondering about where her other husband is, why he has not been seen. You need to talk to her. Apologize for brutalizing her the way you have. Mend your relationship with her because she is the only chance you have at continuing your bloodline. She is the only one who can ensure your reign continues.”

The King is silent, mulling over her words before sighing heavily.

“Where is she?”

Nat crosses her arms over her chest. “It has been four days since your marriage and you are only just asking now? She has been unable to walk for the past three days, so she has remained in her chambers. I forced her for a short walk today, but I do not think it did much to lift her spirits.” His jaw clenches for a moment before he lets a breath out through his nose.

“When she is healed I shall talk to her.” It’s not much, but it’s a start, and that’s all Natalia can ask for.

It’s two days after that before you can walk on your own, and even then you’ve got a severe limp. It’s two more days after that before you can sit down on anything besides your bed. It isn’t until ten days after the consummation of your marriage that you leave your room again.

“If you’re feeling healed, the King would like you to join him for tea on his private balcony.”

You’re shocked at Wanda’s words, but you try to hide it, offering her a nod while she helps you get dressed into a simple light blue gown.

She leads you through the Palace towards a side that you’ve never seen before, not that you’ve had much of a chance to explore. When you reach a set of grand oak doors you find yourself growing increasingly nervous.

Wanda, oblivious to your racing heart, knocks twice on the wood then bows to you before scurrying down the hallway and out of sight.

“Enter,” a muffled voice calls. You take a deep breath and push the door open, keeping your eyes cast downwards as you enter the King’s chambers.

His eyes find you immediately, a frown on his face at the way you keep your eyes down on the floor.

“I am glad you’ve rested and recovered,” he says, his frown deepening when you flinch at his voice. You say nothing in reply, simply stand with your hands folded gently atop your skirts.

“Come over to me. The tea is waiting.” You nod, risking a glance up to find where he is and walking over to him. He sits at a small table on the balcony, his attention focused somewhere over the horizon, and you risk taking a breath in.

You carefully sit down on the chair across from him, a wince flashing over your features as discomfort flares between your thighs. The expression doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and a wave of guilt washes through him.

“I... I wanted to apologize for our wedding night. And... I do hope that you can forgive me for my actions and we can start anew.”

You’re beyond surprised and look up at him, unable to stop the look of shock from crossing your face. “Y-you have nothing to apologize for, Your Majesty.”

He watches you, watches the way your fingers tremble as you reach out for the teacup. Watches the way you avoid his eyes and shrink into yourself as if to seem as unthreatening and small as possible.

You’re afraid.

Not that he’s surprised, necessarily. What, with the way he treated you? He’s shocked you’re holding yourself together so well.

“I had not intended on being so rough with you. Especially not on our first night together. You must understand that I am not myself as of late. I am... worried about my husband. Hoping to find him soon.” You nod, Wanda’s words echoing in your head.

“There is nothing for me to forgive, Your Majesty. I understand the way you’d like for us to get along and I understand my purpose and my place. You needn’t strain yourself over me. It is my duty to be at your leisure, even if it is not what I desire.”

Your words stun him into silence, the tension growing between the two of you.

“(Y/n),” your name feels foreign on his tongue yet so very right. “When I said what I had said yesterday... All I meant was that-” “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I do believe I understood. I am not so foolish as to believe that this marriage was for anything besides politics. You and the King need an heir and I am here to provide one. That is my place, as you said. Now I do hope you will excuse me, for I am feeling rather delicate and would very much like to return to my chambers.”

He says nothing, simply nods his head and watches as you hold back another wince as you stand up.

He isn’t alone for long. No, Natalia is strolling into his chambers mere moments after you’ve left.

“That was brief,” she says, eyes taking note of the untouched tea that sits across from the King.

“I apologized. That is all that was required of me, yes?” She groans and shakes her head. “How will Steve feel if, when he returns, you and the Queen cannot remain in the same room? You know that he will be beyond disappointed.”

“What am I to do? I tried to speak with her about it but she... it seems to be strictly political. She does not seem to even want to entertain the idea of anything beyond a loveless marriage.”

“Is that, perhaps because she is afraid of how you will treat her if she were to express her desire to be wanted? If you cannot express with words how you feel, then do so with your actions.”

He doesn’t come to you that night. Nor the night after.

It isn't until the third day after that that you see him again. Even then it isn’t any different than the last time.

You’re leaving your chambers to go for a walk in the garden, something Wanda and Nat have been encouraging upon realizing you’re not feeling like yourself.

“I’m telling you, James. I think it’s him.” That’s Samuel’s voice.

“I think he’s right. We should go see. Send a team out. It doesn’t look like they are very securely guarding him. We could go in and have him back within a month.” That one’s Natalia.

Wanda’s chattering goes unnoticed by you as you realize they’re talking about King Steven.

“If you’re sure about this, then gather a team and have the horses prepped. We’ll leave at dusk.”

As they’re rounding the corner they nearly bump right into you. You and Wanda both stop, both of you dropping into a curtsy while Nat and Sam bow.

“Your Majesty,” they greet. You nod at them, eyes cast down.

“You two are both dismissed. You as well, Lady Wanda. I require a word with my wife.” You’re confused at him calling you his wife but you say nothing, eyes stuck on the ground as three sets of footsteps walk away from you.

He’s quiet, watching the way you avoid his eyes.

Finally, unable to bear the silence anymore and wanting to have him be through with whatever it is he wants, you speak.

“You are leaving?” He waits until you glance up at him to answer.

“I will be, yes. We are not sure how long I shall be gone for. But before I leave I’ll be coming to you in your chambers. There’s the chance that I won’t return, so I need to do my part in ensuring my lineage continues. I haven’t come to you to allow you time to recover, but there is only so long you can expect a man to wait for his wife.” You say nothing, simply nod at him.

“I shall be waiting for you, Your Majesty. Is that all?” He lets out a deep breath before speaking again.

“I require an heir, (Y/n). If I am gone for any longer than two months and you are not with child when I return, I will not be as accommodating as I have been.” You can’t help the scoff that leaves you.

“Is something funny to you?”

You look up at him for a moment then shake your head.

“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. I just hadn’t realized that this was you being accommodating.”

He grabs your face roughly in his flesh hand, fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to look at him.

“You watch your tongue with me, woman. If you forget your place I will need to remind you of it, won’t I? But you don’t want that.” Your heart races in your chest and you quickly shake your head ‘no’.

“Remember your place. Or I will beat you back into it. Understand?” You nod and only after a moment longer does he release his grip on your chin.

You drop your head, eyes focused on the ground as he walks away from you. Tears sting at your eyes and you take a few minutes to compose yourself before walking back into the Palace, heading for your chambers.

~*~

He doesn’t bother knocking. He just pushes the door open and makes himself at home. To his surprise, you’re seated on your bed in a nightgown, nose buried in a book.

You’re so caught up in whatever you’re reading that you don’t even notice him.

He takes this moment to really take you in, eyes inspecting your face.

You’re beautiful, that much he and Steve gathered long before even deciding on marrying you. You have a gentle beauty to your face that is such a refreshing change to all the hard and gruesome things he’s seen in his life. He hates that all he wants to do is stare at you.

He notices that. your face lacks its usual glow, and you have dark bags beneath your eyes. Making a mental note to tell Nat to make sure you sleep properly, he takes a step towards you.

You glance upwards, jumping at the way he stands watching you.

He takes another step towards you, unbuttoning his shirt and walking closer to you. You set your book aside and swallow hard.

“How will you have me?” He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyeing you for a moment before deciding.

“On your back.” You push the blankets aside and lay down on your back, trying to take deep breaths.

He takes hold of your ankles and gently tugs you down the bed until your bum is at the edge.

His member slaps against your slit and you jolt, tears welling up in your eyes at the memories of the last time this happened.

Instead of pushing into you dry like he did last time, he leans down and spits right on your intimate area. Shame fills you at how close he comes to you, and at the lewd act, but he seems unfazed. He does the same to his length then slowly pushes in.

There isn’t nearly enough lubricant, and it pinches and burns, but it’s not nearly as painful as last time.

That, however, doesn’t stop the tears from raining down your cheeks. Your chest shudders, silent sobs trying to break free. You bring your hands up to your face, pressing one to your mouth and the other shielding the rest of your face from view.

The King stops moving, his brows furrowed and eyes focused on what he can see of your face, trying to see if he’s causing you pain.

“A-am I hurting you?” He asks, his voice strained. You shake your head, keeping your eyes closed and waiting for him to keep going.

He’s hesitant but slowly starts thrusting again, pressing his face into your neck if only so he doesn’t have to see the tears on your face. The tears he’s causing.

It pains him to see such sorrow when a pretty face like yours should only be happy. He hates himself for knowing he’s the cause, but he can’t very well stop. He has a job to do, an heir to create.

He focuses instead on how your body feels beneath him. Soft and squishy in all the perfect places. And by the Gods, you’re so tight and warm around him. He groans softly against your neck, lips subconsciously pressing kisses to the skin as he approaches his climax.

You hold your breath as he fills you with warmth again, his breath hot and damp against your skin.

He stays sheathed within you for a few moments longer before pulling out and tucking his cock back into his trousers.

“I leave in a few hours. My councilmen are in charge while I am gone. Remember your place.” You don’t answer and he pauses, leaning down to grab your face the same way he did before.

“What occurs between us in our bed remains between you and me. I do not want to hear of you saying a word about it to anyone. You are mine and I shall treat you how I want.” You nod, mind and body numb.

“Good. I shall return shortly. If I will be gone longer than a month I will send word.” He exits without another word, leaving you used and broken yet again.

~*~

The riders leave as soon as the sun sets, the king leading them. You watch through the small window in your room, heart heavy as you realize that you well and truly serve but one purpose to the man.

“Dinner, your Majesty.” You glance over your shoulder to where Wanda is holding a tray of food.

“No thank you, Wanda. I am not hungry tonight. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to bed.” She nods, setting the tray down and hurrying to get your bed ready.

“I can do that tonight, Wanda. I would... I would like some time alone, please.” She pauses, the pain in your voice far more evident than you wanted it to be.

“Of course, Your Majesty.” She bows her head, picks up the tray of food, then hurries out of your chambers and leaves you alone for the night.

You hardly sleep at all, silent tears tracking down your cheeks as thoughts of how much better your old life was fill your mind.

You truly are no better than a prisoner, and for a moment you find yourself wishing you were beheaded with your mother.

#king!bucky #king!steve rogers x reader #king!bucky x Princess!reader X king!steve #king!Steve X reader #king au #bucky x reader king au #Steve X reader king au #stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky/reader #stucky x reader au #royal!au #bucky x reader royal au #bucky x reader royal au #steve rogers x reader #Steve Rogers x reader x bucky #bucky x reader x steve #Steve X reader x bucky

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dracowars · 4 years ago

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can i request an imagine im so sorry if it’s too long for your liking but could it be a pureblood slytherin reader x draco imagine where the reader and draco are dating but after some bad news from home (maybe she doesn’t have the kindest parents like draco) she distances herself from everyone and keeps zoning out and finds herself astronomy tower thinking really dark thoughts but draco has constantly been watching over her and is super worried and maybe they have an argument at the tower and draco gets stupid and says something mean or even is dumb to think to accuse her of cheating at the end in which the reader maybe either slaps him (for dramatic effect) or if that’s too much she just says it’s over between the two and she walks off and draco is shocked and tries to stop the reader but she’s already gone and she doesn’t show up to breakfast or lunch and maybe in their class they learn about the boggart again and since they’re older their fears have changed and maybe the reader isn’t paying attention and she’s brought up to test her boggart and it’s draco saying those same things and maybe her parents come out as well and it’s essentially that draco’s unkind words are her fear because it’s the last straw for her until everything breaks because she was holding onto him and she runs out of class and class is dismissed because no one wants to go after that and the reader skips dinner and can be found in moaning myrtles bathroom having a panic attack and she gets really frustrated and hits the the sink really hard to feel something and you can hear myrtle begging the reader to stop and maybe someone sees her and runs to draco to get help but draco runs to the bathroom she’s not there anymore and he finds her at the astronomy tower feeling numb and he overhears her talking to herself and it ends in fluff because he can’t lose her and he figures out it’s probably her parents pressuring her too much again and he can relate because of his and they get back together and it’s just really fluffy at the end maybe they sneak in the kitchen for a quick minute dinner since the reader didn’t eat and draco has to be really kind to the elves heheh

darkness | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 3,1k

summary: where y/n's parents make her life a living hell and draco doesn't really help

a/n: normally i do not write about things like this but i actually really liked the request so i wrote it anyway. i don't mean to offend anyone with this if i misrepresented something, i did my best to get familiar with the topic <3

warnings: angst, major mental health issues including dark thoughts and self-doubt, hints of su*c*de, mentions of blood, cursing, very sensitive topics in general

universe: harry potter

The cold wind blows through your hair and makes it swirl around the air and into your face, goosebumps spreading all over your body at the sudden coldness. To prevent your hair from flying around, you tame your hair with a hair tie, your gaze fixed straight ahead while your face is illuminated by the setting sun.

You really missed this place during the holidays. The astronomy tower.

Whenever you are stressed from doing a lot of homework or studying in general, this is the place you can hust go to and are somehow always able to relax. The view is breathtaking and you love to watch the sun - or the moon, depening on what time of the day you find yourself up here - shine.

And this special place also gives you the security that you so urgently needed.

The winter holidays were a living hell for you. You have extremely strict parents who see a great importance in your education, but that is basically the only thing that interests them about you. That you bring honor to your pureblood family. That they can proudly show you off to other pureblood families even though they know nothing about you and who you really are.

Until recently they did not even know that you are in a relationship. Unfortunately, one thing led to another and they found it out by an unlucky coincidence which consisted of them picking you up at platform 9¾ for the very first time since you have been at Hogwarts. There they saw you with a platinum haired boy, kissing.

This boy turned out to be Draco Malfoy, the son of the pureblood Malfoy family, who you parents cannot stand at all. To put it in other words, they loathe each other to death and that for probably no reason, at least you have not been able to figure it out yet.

So of course they were not very thrilled that you are in a relationship with a Malfoy, which they showed you straight away. They locked you inside of your room at home because you had to 'think about your actions and their consequences'.

However, when they realized that their behavior would not change anything, they began to put you down. They threw the worst swear words at you, wanted to force you to break up with him and told you what a terrible shame you are for your family. That Draco could never love you and that you are ugly, cheap and overall useless. That is how it went on for your whole vacation.

Your parents always treated you this way, it was not new to you. Nevertheless it hurts every time, even if you try to hide it. You would rather keep all the pain inside of you than to tell others about it, because they are not able to help you anyway. Unfortunately, you did the math without your boyfriend.

This morning at the Central Station of London, Draco immediately saw that you were not feeling well. Any attempts to get you to tell him what is going on with you had been useless though so he left you alone at some point, but you still noticed how he kept staring at you for the whole train ride to Hogwarts.

You would love to tell him, tell him about everything, but something inside of you is stopping you from doing so. An invisible barrier inside of your head, probably fear, that you simply cannot overcome. You know that Draco's parents are pretty similar to yours, but still you just cannot manage to talk to him and you notice how it slowly but surely destroys your deep bond with one another.

Continuing to look into the distance and watch the clouds encircle the beautiful setting sun, which colors the sky in reddish colors, your thoughts suddenly wander to gloomy places. Dark places where you usually only go to when you are locked inside of your own room at home.

But now they are even attacking you at your safest place.

You perfectly know yourself that you are not good enough for Draco. You do not deserve this incredibly great person as your boyfriend. You do not even deserve him as a best friend, no, you do not deserve him at all. You are worthless and for him you are nothing more than one girl out of many.

And still you keep on being selfish and do not end it.

Completely lost in your own dark thoughts, you do not even notice at first how the tears are already streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls. Sniffling, you rub your eyes, smeer your discreetly applied mascara, and wipe the tears from your face.

"Why am I still doing this to myself?", you sob and lower your head, looking deep down at the grounds of Hogwarts. The tears that are enriched with pain flow out of your eyes and fall into the dark depths, causing you to slowly close your eyes.

The sudden mention of your name from behind you makes you abruptly breathe out in shock and your head jumps up as you turn around. Your eyes lock with the gray, sparkling eyes of your boyfriend, who is currently looking at you with pity.

"W-What are you doing here, Draco?", you sniff and wrap your arms around your body in an attempt to hide from him so he does not have to look at you.

"Why are you crying?", he asks, ignoring your question, and before you can realize, he is already standing right in front of you and gently places his hands on your tear stained, puffy cheeks. Gently wiping away your tears with his thumb, he searches your eyes for answers that can explain your current terrible condition. He cannot bear to see you like this, so fragile and deeply hurt.

Whatever happened, he will make sure you know that he is and always will be here for you. And he will not let, whatever it is, continue to hurt you so badly.

"If you do not tell me, then I cannot help you", he softly whispers and brushes the strands of hair behind your ear that have escaped from your ponytail in the wind and then carefully lifts your head so you have to look him in the eyes.

"It's nothing", are the only words you get out, your throat thightening, but all you would like to do is to just finally tell him about everything.

"Do you even realize how worried I am about you, Y/N?! It is killing me!", Draco suddenly raises his voice at you, causing you to flinch and take a step back, your back now touching the railing. Noticing the power of his words, he sighs and looks to the ground in shame.

Your head processes his facial expression and his gestures and again makes you believe that his sadness is your fault. By not being able to control your stupid feelings, you hurt him.

"I-I really have to go", you stutter out and quickly run past him, pressing your coat around your body.

"Have fun with Blaise then", you hear him say and you abruptly stop in your motion. Not fully understanding the words he just said, you turn to him.

"What?", you ask with not more than a breath coming out, hurt evident in your expression as he suddenly stomps in your direction furiously, a disgusted look on his face while he looks into your eyes.

"Don't act stupid now, Y/N! You hardly speak a word to me anymore, you avoid body contact, you are totally dismissive in general and you can't even look at me anymore! Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", Draco accuses you out of nowhere, not knowing what he is even saying himself, and you could swear that at this very moment your heart has finally burst into a thousand splinters and your last hold has now completely disappeared.

Losing the control over your body for a second, your hand lands on his cheek with full force. There is a dead silence before you just turn and leave, leaving him behind on the astronomy tower. You can hear him say your name after you, but you block it out and run down the stairs, crying, your vision blurred.

Missing one of the last stairs in your hurry, you fall down onto the cold floor. You get up again as quickly as possible when you hear steps behind you and you run. You run for your life while you disappear into the endless corridors of Hogwarts, making your way to your dorm.

The next morning your eyelids stick together from all the crying and you have a aching headache. You did not close one eye that night and just laid there crying in your bed silently until at some point there were no more tears.

In front of the door of your prefect dorm room, you can hear how the other students are leaving your house on their way to breakfast, but your stomach makes a flip when you only think about food. That is the reason why you decide to stay in your warm, safe and comfortable bed a little longer and to skip breakfast, which is unnecessary anyway. Avoiding other people seems like the best idea for you right now.

Just in time for the beginning of your first lesson of the long day, you made it out of your bed and are now sitting in Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape.

Your thoughts are whirling around in your head and you do not understand a single word Snape is saying in front of the class, even if you are really trying your best to understand him. Furthermore does it not help your concentration that you see how Draco keeps staring at you from across the room out of the corner of your eye. However, you do not have enough strength for this anymore after a while and therefore focus your gaze out the window at the rising sun.

At least you are distracted until all of the students get up from their seats all of a sudden and you only watch them confused until you notice that they are only waiting for you to join them and you quickly walk, almost stumbling, to them. Ignoring the looks and laughter of everyone, you play around with the hem of your grey Slytherin sweater and ignore them while doing so.

"Well then, let us begin. Ms. Y/L/N, would you please do us the honor and start", Snape clears his throat as you look at him in shock, noticing by the expression on his face that he definetely knows that you did not listen to him at all and have not been present with your mind.

Since you do not have a chance to defy yourself anyway, you nod and go to the position he points at in front of an old, dusty closet. With confusion all over your face, you switch between looking at Professor Snape and the cabinet as he suddenly opens the door and you take a big step back, startled to death.

"Have fun with Blaise then", Draco spits in your face disparagingly and is now slowly walking towards you after stepping out of the cupboard, increasing your pulse. The tears find their way back into your eyes right away while you just keep looking at him petrified, frozen in your spot.

"Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", he yells at you again and your vision becomes more and more blurred, your ears start to beep while he shouts at you, bringing back the painful memories of yesterday.

"No! Please don't leave me, Draco!"

It is like you are back on the astronomy tower again, your hair blowing in the wind as he steps towards you. In the next moment he is gone all of a sudden and instead of him, two other people are now in front of you.

"You are a shame for our whole family, you stupid brat", your father insults you and you fall onto your knees, holding your hands against your head in pain.

"Stop it! Please!", you beg them, but of course they do not stop, they only make their words worse.

"Draco can never seriously love someone like you. I mean, look at you! You are less worthy than dirt", your father tells you and your entire body is now trembling when you finally see a black cloak in front of your eyes and your parents vanish into thin air.

"Please stay with me", you choke through your tears, words addressed to Draco who had to watch the scene in front of him with pure horror in his eyes.

Breathing heavily, you look up at Professor Snape, who looks at you in disbelief, but as your eyes wander around the room to see everyone staring at you, your legs automatically carry you out of the classroom in the next moment, unable to bear their burning glances.

You run down the empty corridor with a faint vision in search of a safe place to hide until you arrive at one of the girls' bathrooms and rush in, not thinking about someone possibly being in there.

Slamming the door shut behind you, you stumble to the sinks with trembling knees and support all of your weight with your hands on either side of one sink as your legs fail beneath you. Clinging to the edge of the sink, you cry bitterly. The cold walls of the bathroom echo your crying several times, allowing you to hear your own pain.

"What is wrong, Y/N?", you hear a soft voice next to your ear and when you look up it is none other than Myrtle. Apparently of all places you ended up in her bathroom and are not as alone as you wished for.

"I am fine", you say with a monotonous voice, forcing yourself into an upright position, but literally everyone would see that you are definetely not fine, even a ghost.

"Y/N. You look anything but okay. Can I somehow help you-"

"Just leave me alone!", you angrily yell at her and lose control of your body, only seeing a thick, red substance running over your hand when it is already too late. Broken pieces of glass lie around you on the floor, which flew through the air when your fist hit them and inflicted small wounds on your face.

"You need to stop, Y/N!", Myrtle commands, but you do not listen and let yourself fall onto the floor, kicking your foot against the sink and thereby unintentionally loosen one of the old pipes. The sound of flowing water fills the room, surrounding your body on the floor.

On the edge of passing out, you lie in the cold water and stare at the ceiling while Myrtle has disappeared without a trace.

What you do not know, however, is that Myrtle is already on her way to find help and comes across Draco, who is running back and forth through the hallways while searching for you.

It takes Draco a moment to understand Myrtle's fast explanation, but when he does he runs into the direction of the girls' bathroom without hesitation. He rushes through the door into the flooded bathroom and all he sees is the broken mirror and the slightly reddish puddles in the water.

But he does not find you in there and realizes that there can only be one place where you could be.

Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts at lightning speed, he finally reaches the staircase leading to the astronomy tower and goes them up in no time. Once he arrives at the top, he abruptly stops when you come into his field of vision.

There you are, completely broken, leaning your head against the railing, your knees closely drawn to your body while your painful crys echo through his ears.

"Why did you not listen to your parents, you disgusting piece of daughter", you talk to yourself, not noticing that you are not alone any longer. With your already injured hand you hit the pole of the railing once, immediately regretting it as the pain spreads through your body.

However, your gaze lands on a person standing directly ahead and your eyes widen, but unfortunately you lack the strength to stand up, to yell at him, or to resist as he slowly sits down next to you.

Neither of you say a word, but it does not take long before he gently takes you into his strong arms, providing you with the support you needed so badly, so you can cry while he strokes over your hair. He whispers repentances in your ear over and over again. That he regrets his words, that he takes them back and that he was such an idiot.

"You are so wonderful", he confirms and gives you a kiss on the forhead, careful not to scare you away, continuing to stroke your upper arm with his hand.

"Do not believe in what your parents told you, angel. I will stay with you", he shakily breathes and has to pull himself together to not let a tear slip out of his eyes at any moment. "I am sorry that I let you down."

His last few words pull a trigger inside of your head and suddenly everything pours out of your mouth at once. Your fears, your worries. Everything your parents ever said or did to you. You finally tell him about all of it now, even though you should have done it much earlier.

"I love you more than anything, Y/N. You are my world and the reason I live. Never let anyone make you think that I do not love or deserve you, especially not your parents", Draco explains to you sincerely as you stare at him, exhausted but happy.

You slowly put your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, letting the good and bright drown out all of your dark and bad thoughts. Meanwhile, Draco carefully examines your injured hand before scooping you up into his arms while standing up.

"No matter how much you hate me right now, you have to eat something", he tells you, but you do not answer and just enjoy his close presence while you wrap your arms tightly around his neck, letting him carry you away.

If he had known how terrible you were feeling earlier, he would have done something much sooner. He should have been more pushy and not let you get away with a simple 'i am fine'. But now that he knows, he definetely learned from it.

And Draco would have never forgiven himself if he had let you just go like that.

571 notes · View notes

leossmoonn · 4 years ago

Text

Unexpected Love [Kai Parker] || Part Two

masterlist | part one

pairing - kai parker x fem, human!reader

type - fluff, angst

note - read the first part, this cannot be read as a standalone! if you have read the first part then welcome back, thank you for reading the second part. so this part will be more focused on kai and the readers relationship and definitely all fiction lol (aka no actual scenes from the show) :) and part 3 is at the end!

summary - you and kai fall in love over a period of time after spending time with each other in the prison world

warnings / includes - language, alcohol, crying, fighting, mention/thinking of suicide, family trauma, lot of flirting in this one, suggestive, f/f = favorite flavour (of ice cream) lol

————

*gif isn't mine* (ugh hes so fine im dying)

I sat up straight and gasped, my eyes flying right open. I looked around frantically, sharp pain shooting right through my chest.

“Ow,” I whined, pressing my hand gently to my side.

“Oh, yeah. The first time you die here, it’ll hurt. I bet it’s not any different from what that ring does for you, though,” Kai’s voice ringed next to me.

My head snapped to him, memories of what he did to me flooding back.

“Get away from me!” I shouted, getting up out of the bed I was in.

“I did you a favour, Y/n. You should thank me!” He exclaimed.

“What favour! You robbed me of my only chance of getting home. Now we have no magic and the ascendent is broken!”

“Stop shouting. Ugh, you’re giving me a headache,” he whined.

I gave him a death glare. “You’re the one with the headache. You’re the one- I just… I’m going for a walk.”

I stomped out of the room, running down the stairs. I heard Kai’s footsteps from behind me. I walked as fast as I could without feeling any pain. Kai seemed to be full on sprinting, though, because he grabbed my wrist.

“Let me go!” I exclaimed. “Please, Y/n. I’m sorry,” Kai pleaded.

I jerked my body away from him. “Shove it, Malachai. If you want me to forgive you, then you better leave me alone right now.”

He looked at me with wide, fearful eyes. I didn’t wait for him to say anything. I turned on my heel and made my way out of the house and back to the woods. I stomped the whole way there, my hands balled in tight fists. My fingernails dug into my skin as tears stained my cheeks. I just could not believe Kai. I knew he was a sociopath and a dick, but I didn’t think he would try to rob me of my chance at happiness. It was stupid how I thought he would even think about someone else and not himself. Sometimes he made it seem like he did care, though. It also seemed as my attraction to him from the first time we met was still there. I needed to get rid of it. I needed to find a way to get out here. Without Kai.

I stopped walking as I realised I was deep in the woods. The cool breeze flew around me, calming me down. I closed my eyes and breathed out the air that I had been holding in. I opened my eyes to stare at the sky. It was a cloudless afternoon with bright sunshine. It was always like this. For the past few months this was all I had seen. I was more than sick of it. I wanted rain. Snow. Hail. Anything else but the sunshine for once.

I released my hands from their fists, reaching my right hand up to my side where Bonnie’s jacket still was. I let out a strangled, but happy sound. I unwrapped it from my body, seeing that it had a huge red blood spot that was mine. I ignored it and held it up to my face, hugging it closely to my chest.

“I’m getting out of here. I’m going home,” I promised to myself.

I stayed in the woods until the sun started to set. I spent my time walking around some more, making up a plan. I knew how the ascendent looked before it was broken, and I was sure that Bonnie’s grimoire, that was thankfully still here, had a diagram of some sort, too. I could just build it back up. I took a shop class in high school and used to build cars with my dad, so I was quite the mechanic. Getting it to work without magic was the hard part, though. I needed a Bennett witch to access the spell. I knew Kai still had some of Bonnie’s magic in him, but I couldn’t risk telling him the plan and having it work, only for him to leave me here again. Plus, it’s not like having him use Bonnie’s magic would actually work. He wasn't actually a Bennett. He just happened to have her magic in him.

I opened the door and stepped into the Salvatore house, looking around for Kai. I smiled, relieved that I couldn’t spot him anywhere. I shut the door behind me, kicking off my shoes and going to the liquor cabinet, popping off the top of a bottle of whiskey. I didn’t bother with a cup, I just downed it straight. The liquor burned my throat as I strutted to the kitchen, going over to the CD player and putting on Toni Braxton’s ‘Another Sad Love Song’.

I danced around and got out the ingredients for a strawberry cake. As Toni’s song came to an end, I heard the front door open. I groaned loudly, my mood dropping immediately. I left the kitchen to see what Kai was up to. I laughed incredulously as I saw him carrying multiple duffle bags and a backpack.

“Are you seriously moving in?” I asked.

“Yep,” he nodded. “What part of ‘leave me alone’ do you not understand? Do I need to spell it out for you so it can get through your thick skull?” I snapped, taking ahold of his arm and dragging him back to the front door.

“I understand!” He exclaimed. “Good. Then you’ll get out,” I sneered, pushing him out the door. I went to shut it, but his arm held the door open.

“I will smash your hand in this door,” I threatened.

“Yeah, I know, but hear me out. I can help you get back,” Kai said.

I scoffed, “I don’t want nor need your help. Get out.” I pushed the door further in his face. He dropped his bags and used both hands to keep it open.

“I know you don’t trust me and you have no reason to, but please. I still have Bonnie’s magic in me and I can fix the ascendent with her magic,” he begged. He pouted and put on his puppy dog face.

“No,” I said without any hesitation. “You get out of my life, okay? If I ever see you, hear you, or even smell you, you’re dead, okay?”

His eyes then filled with anger and frustration. “Fine!” He exclaimed. “You know, I only even wanted to help you because I want to get out of here. We both know that I would have only left you here alone.”

“Glad we’re on the same page, then,” I smiled sourly. “See you never.” And with that, I slammed the door in his face.

I sighed deeply, smiling in satisfaction. I went back to the kitchen and resumed my cake making.

A few hours later and I was finishing the last pieces of cake, and watching Forrest Gump.

“Life is like a box of chocolates, huh,” I muttered. “First I’m a regular girl with human friends and a family. And now I’m a girl who who has no family, vampires, werewolves, and witches for friends, and who is stuck in a never-ending prison world!”

I rolled my head around the couch ledge, my eyes looking out the window. It was pitch black now. The stars were shining brightly, many of them twinkling.

“Mom, Dad, Jenny, Andrew. Bonnie and Damon. If you’re out there, please help me. Send someone or something. I-I can’t do this alone, and I definitely don’t want Kai’s help. Please help me,” I cried out. I hugged a couch pillow and Bonnie’s jacket.

I hope someone could hear me up there. Otherwise I was screwed.

————

3 months later and I was still stuck in this hell-hole. Well, at least I think it had been 3 months. Ever since Kai kept me here, I had been counting the days. It had been approximately 90 days, give or take. I was beginning to think this was actually my own personal instead of Kai’s.

Speaking of Kai, he actually had been pretty good of avoiding me. In these 90 days, I have only ran into him twice. Once was while I was going for a morning jog and the other was when I was venturing into town, walking to the Mystic Grill and all the shops. During my stay, I have also been documenting my days with an old video camera I found. I knew that I would get out, but just in case, I would be able to have all those memories saved and if I died somehow and never came back and someone else got trapped here, they could see the glamorous life of Y/n L/n. Or what was left of it at least.

Today was going to be different, though. For the past few months, I had been sitting in my bedroom for most of the week, crying, talking to myself, screaming at the world. I had even considered killing myself once or twice, but I knew that I would only wake up in more pain and sadness. Every day I prayed and hoped for someone to come and find me. For my friends to find out a way to get to me, even though they didn’t have the ascendent or anything. It seems as more days past, the less and less hopeful I got, though. So, I decided that the only way I was getting out of here was to do it myself, regardless if I wasn’t a magical being.

And so right now, I was trying to build the ascendent. I was almost there, actually. It was just these little parts that were so frustrating to put back together.

“Go together, dammit!” I exclaimed out of frustration.

I put the device down, running my hands over my face, thinking of a solution. Maybe I should ask Kai for help.

No. That would only end up with me screaming at him the whole time and potentially killing him.

But he probably still had some go Bonnie’s magic left. He could help me get out. And plus, I could just push him away last minute when we go through the portal.

I groaned out of annoyance. I didn’t know what the right answer was. I thought I did. I thought I could do this by myself. But it turns out I can’t. It’s a lot harder than I thought and the fact that I’m a human doesn’t help either. I bit my lip in thought, racking my brain for an answer.

“You have to ask him to help, Y/n. It’s the only way,” I sighed to myself.

I got up from my seat and put on my shoes and jacket. I went out of the house and got into Damon’s Chevy, driving it to Kai’s house. I clenched the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white as I parked in his driveway. Just the thought of seeing him made my stomach churn. Thing was, I didn’t quite know if it churned in a good way or bad.

I stepped out of the car, putting the keys in my jacket pocket. I walked up to the door and gave it a good 3 knocks. A waited a few minutes, but no answer. I knocked a few more times and waited another few minutes. Still no answer.

“Seriously?!” I whined, raising my hand to pound on the door, but Kai’s voice stopped me.

“What are you doing here?”

I turned around and saw him carrying grocery bags.

“Oh. Good, you’re here,” I said, stepping down from his porch.

“You never answered my question. What are you doing here?” He asked.

“I need your help,” I confessed.

His lips upturned into a smile. He let out a laugh. “Wow. Princess Y/n has gotten over her pride, huh?”

“And sociopathic Parker still harasses me with nicknames, huh?”

Kai frowned and walked up to the porch, passing by me and unlocking his house.

“Sorry,” I sighed, following him into his house. “Will you please help me?”

“Hm, let me think about it,” he said, setting the grocery bags down. “No.”

I rolled my eyes. “C’mon! You barely thought about it. Why not?”

“Because I hate you,” he shrugged. “Why? What have I done to you?” I scoffed.

“Well, first of all you slammed a door in my face. Second, whenever we run into each other, you act like I murdered your whole family. And third, you denied my help before, but now you want it? I think not,” he explained.

“Look, I’m sorry. I really, really am, but I know for a fact that you want to get out. I want to, too! But I’ve learned that we can’t get out without each other. I’m sorry I let my pride take over me. So please help me,” I begged and apologised.

Kai grinned at me. “I love this.” “Love what?” I asked.

“I love seeing you beg,” he said, his voice dropping low. He started to walk towards me slowly. Stalking me like I was his prey.

I backed away from him, my eyes trained on him. I let out a huff as my back hit a wall. My eyes widened and stared into his menacing eyes.

“I love seeing you beg for me. Begging for my help like the helpless little human you are,” he muttered.

He arms went around your sides, trapping in-between him and the wall. I breathed out heavily and shakily, averting my eyes.

“I’m not helpless,” I protested. He smirked down at him, his eyes lighting up. “You sure about that, princess?”

The way he stressed my pet name set my fire to my heart, and set my stomach flipping. He head hung low. So low that I could fell his breath on my lips. I felt his knee nudge my thigh and that’s when I stopped breathing. I could fell myself slowly melting into a puddle right in front of him.

“You gonna answer me, sweetheart, or are you just gonna stand there gawking at me?” He chuckled.

I swallowed hard. “N-No.”

“Then answer me,” he teased me. “Y-Yeah… I’m sure about that,” I whispered.

He hummed in reply. I let my eyes roam his face and set on his lips.

“Offer is still there,” he said. “What offer?” I asked.

“The offer to kiss me. Remember when I offered when we first met?”

“O-Oh, yeah,” I stuttered, beginning to catch my breath

“The offer’s still there if you wanna take it.” My eyes flickered back up to his. I shook my head furiously. “I-I don’t want to take it.”

“Oh, I think you do,” he grinned.

I then snapped out of my daze, putting my hand on shoulders and pushing back. “I said no.”

“Alright, alright,” he held his hand up in defense, backing further away from me.

“Now you’ve had your fun, will you help me?” I asked, running my fingers through my hair.

“I guess so,” he shrugged. My eyes lit up, “Really? Oh, my God! Yes!”

I jumped up and went to hug him, wrapping my arms around him. I engulfed him tightly, entangling my fingers in his hair. It was surprisingly soft.

“This feels nice,” Kai sighed.

I groaned, “Okay. Moment ruined.” I pulled away, stepping back a good few feet.

“You hugged me first,” he shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Alright, so when do you want to get started?” I asked.

“After dinner,” he answered. “But it’s 2 pm,” I said.

“I know. But how about you and me have dinner together,” Kai explained.

“I thought you hated me?” I asked. “Oh, I do. I definitely do. That’s why I want to have dinner with you. I know just how to push your buttons. You’re so cute when mad,” he grinned.

I growled at him. “And you are so annoying.” “See! So cute,” Kai scrunched his nose.

“I bet it’ll be cute when I give you a black eye,” I muttered.

“It'd like to see you try. Anyways, if you want my help, then you’ll come to dinner with me,” Kai shrugged.

I sighed, “Fine. What time? What do I need to cook?”

“7 PM. And nope, I’ll cook.”

“O-Oh, really? You cook?”

“Yep,” he grinned proudly.

“Hm… Well, good to know. Anyways, I’ll be here at 7,” I said, making my way towards the door.

“Make sure to dress up! This is gonna be fancy!” Kai called out.

“Noted!” I exclaimed, stepping out of the house. I shut the door behind me, exhaling heavily. “Now you got a date with the town’s psycho, Y/n. Good going.”

I strutted over to the car, getting in and driving back to my place. I read a few books to pass the time until I had to get ready. I got done with Twilight: Eclipse, as I actually had already started that the other day, and I went ahead and started to read more into Bonnie’s grams’s grimoire.

It was all so fascinating, really. I was so amazed by just the spells themselves, I didn’t even consider the history of all of them. While reading the grimoire, I started to feel a little jealous of the fact that Bonnie’s a witch, and the fact that I’m a human with a ring that keeps me alive whenever I got killed. I almost started to feel jealous of Damon and Tyler, but I knew that I never would want to be a monster. Being a witch would seem nice, though. Not like Kai, though.

After a little heavy reading, I checked the clock. It was 5:49, which meant that I had to start getting ready. I put a bookmark in place in the grimoire and got up off the couch, heading up the stairs. I turned on the shower and got undressed.

I took off my sweatpants and socks, followed by my shirt. As I reached for my shirt overhead, the front of it brushed my nose. An unfamiliar, but calming scent filled my nose. I slipped the rest of the shirt off, turning it back right side out and held it up to my nose. I closed my eyes and breathed the scent in. It smelled like mint, paper of old books, and a little like grape jam. As soon as the grape jam smell came to me, I immediately knew who this scent belonged to.

“Ew!” I shrieked and threw the shirt across the room. It landed in the laundry basket, luckily enough. I let out a gagging noise, taking off my underwear and getting in the shower quickly.

I took my time washing up. Taking a shower seemed to be the only place I could really let go and bask in the quiet and loneliness that was in this house. It was strange because it was always quiet and lonely in this house. This was my only time to truly relax since I was doing everything to keep my busy during the day, so I wouldn’t start crying and throwing a fit about still being here.

I lathered my body with shampoo, giving myself a little massage on my shoulders. I closed my eyes and started to imagine what life would be like if I wasn’t stuck in 1994.

I would be with my friends, obviously. We would be at Whitmore, trying to live a normal life. Caroline, Elena, Bonnie and I would be having a picnic on campus. Sipping iced teas and eating sometime of desert. Damon would probably be with us, considering that Elena can’t be without Damon for more than 10 minutes without dying - literally. Stefan would most definitely be there. He’s my best friend, so of course he would be there. He would be talking to Caroline, though, her hogging all of his attention because she likes him (though she always denied it). And maybe Jeremy would be there, too, for Bonnie. Holding her hand and cuddling up next to her like the cute couple they are. And me? Well, I didn’t really have anybody special in my life. I actually had a thing with Kol Mikaelson before he died. I liked Tyler briefly in high school, but I’m 100% sure he’s into the girl that works at the coffee shop at Whitmore. Matt wasn’t my type at all. Neither was Enzo. Maybe I had a cute boy a Whitmore on my arm. A classmate that I had invited to the picnic. Someone cute, smart, funny… a little crazy. Maybe… Maybe Kai.

My eyes snapped open as I became aware that Kai was now in my fantasy. I couldn’t help but shudder, even with the hot water running on my skin. I washed the rest of my body, focusing on anything else but Kai. I turned off the water, wrapping a towel around me. I dried my skin off as I walked to the sink, putting on lotion and re-brushing my teeth. I stepped back into my bedroom and put on a nude-coloured underwear set. It was simple and very, very comfortable. I then went over to my closet, looking for an outfit to wear. I shuffled through all my shirts, not being able to find one that I liked. I sighed in slight frustration, stepping back to try and see if anything stuck out to me.

A little, annoying voice - that sounded much like my mother’s - sounded in the back of my head.

Maybe you can’t decide on an outfit because you like him and want to look nice for him.

I scoffed loudly, shaking my head. “No. I definitely do not care. That’s why I’m just gong to wear this.” I reached into my closet and pulled out a simple dark-turquoise dress. It was spaghetti-strapped and plunged a little bit at the neckline. It reached down just above my knees. Perfect for dinner with an… associate.

I slipped it on and back to the bathroom and did my hair, putting it in one of my favourite hairstyles. I then got out some makeup products. I put on a light coat of foundation and concealer, curling my eyelashes and brushing them up with mascara. I then shaped my eyebrows and filled in the sparce parts, dusting on some blush and putting on chapstick. I looked in the mirror, stepping back to look at my appearance. I cringed as it looked like I was going on a date. I shook those thoughts out of my head. I wasn’t dressing up for him, I was dressing up for myself. There’s no shame in wanting to look nice for yourself.

I went back into the bedroom and found a pair of black heels. I slipped them on, going over to the dresser and putting on a few gold bracelets and a pair of earrings. I re-adjusted my necklace that I was already wearing. I looked at my reflection and smiled. For once, I felt and looked good. I grabbed a black jacket and walked out of my room, checking the time once again. I had 10 minutes to get his house, which was perfect.

I went out of the house and to the Chevy, driving to Kai’s house. I parked in the driveway, my heart beginning to race. I let out a few deep breaths and go out of the car. As soon as I was about to knock, the door swung wide open.

The door revealed Kai who was wearing a white button-up shirt and dark-blue slacks. He actually looked… nice, for once. My eyes traveled around his chest. I couldn’t help but notice the way his biceps strained against his shirt. I could literally see his abs through the shirt, too. It did not help butterflies that were starting to flutter in my stomach.

“Like what you see?” He smirked.

My eyes flew up to his face, taking a deep breath to calm myself down from all the excitement I was feeling.

“No,” I said flatly, going into the house and brushing past Kai.

“Well, you look nice,” he said as I walked into his kitchen.

“Thanks. You do, too,” I complimented genuinely.

“I’ve never seen you in a dress before. You should wear them more often.”

“I don’t like dresses.”

“But you like me. That’s why you wore one to our date?”

I balled my hands in fists, turning around to face him. “One, this is not a date. And two, girls can wear dresses for themselves, not for men like you.”

Kai grinned widely at me. I realised I had fallen into his trap. He was trying to push my buttons and so far, he's been successful. I couldn't let him win, though. I had to calm down and get through this night. Otherwise I would probably never be getting out.

“Your temper is almost as bad as Damon’s,” Kai remarked.

I sighed, “Well you’re not making it easy to stay calm.”

“I know,” he chuckled, walking past me and to the dinner table. “I hope you like ravioli and mushrooms.”

“Did you make these or buy them?” I asked, walking towards the kitchen table.

“Made them. The Salvatores have lots of cook books. I might have stole them before you came,” he explained.

"Well, it smells great,” I admitted, beginning to take off my jacket.

“Glad you think so. Here, let me get this for you,” he slid over to me and took the jacket off my shoulders. He folded it and put it on the ledge of his couch.

“Thanks,” I said. He then pulled my chair out for me. I sat down, thanking him this time with a smile.

“Wine?” He asked, bringing a bottle over. “Yeah, sure,” I nodded.

He poured two glasses and placed one in front of me. He sat down and took a knife and fork.

“Dig in,” he offered. “This isn’t filled with like, cyanide, right?” I asked half-jokingly.

“Ha-ha. No. I worked really hard on these,” he said.

“Hm,” I hummed. I cut one of the raviolis in half and popped on in my mouth. My eyes widened as it tasted a lot better than I expected.

“Good, right?” Kai smiled.

“Very,” I nodded once I swallowed.

We ate in silence for a few moments. I was itching to talk to him about getting home. I took a long sip of wine before beginning to take.

“So um…. I’ve started to re-build the ascendent. It’s a lot harder than it looks, but I’m really close. I just have-”

“No,” Kai said suddenly. I furrowed my brows, “What?” “No, we aren’t going to talk about that just yet. I want to get to know you,” he explained.

I rolled my eyes. “Why? All you need to know is my name and that I hate living here.”

He chuckled, “Not true. I have trust issues. So before I get involved with you, I need to know I can trust you. See, I didn’t trust Damon or Bonnie. I knew that they hated me from the second they met me. I knew that no matter what I would do, they would never give in to trusting me. You, however, you are so trusting. Didn’t you find it creepy that I, a strange man whom you met in a parking lot, offered you a ride?”

“Oh. I-I mean, I guess? But I needed a ride, anyways,” I said.

He shook his head with a smile. “No. Not a good enough reason. Any reasonable woman would have run away from me. You, though… You saw something good in me, didn’t you? You thought I was nice and cute. Maybe a little too forthcoming, but still you put some trust in me. And if you can trust me, maybe I can learn to trust you.”

“Is that why you didn’t let me go with them?” I asked, suddenly connecting the dots.

“Part of the reason. I knew that I had no chance of getting home with Damon and Bonnie. But with you, I knew that I had a chance. Even though you are just a human.” “I am more than that,” I argued.

“And I’m sure you are! But you see, I don’t know that for sure because I don’t know anything about you. See what I’m getting at here?” “Yeah, I see,” I grumbled. “Great! So let’s start with the first question. Why do you always wear that necklace?” He pointed to my neck.

“It was a gift,” I explained shortly, hoping he would notice the edge in my voice.

“From who?” He asked, the corners of his lips upturning in a smirk.

Of course he noticed. He just wasn’t going to stop.

“Family member.” “C’mon, you gotta give me more. I can’t help you if I don't trust you.” I slammed my fork down on the table. “So? There’s a lot of people in the world that you don’t trust fully, but sometimes you just have to help them! Like in school, you may not trust one of your classmates personally, but if they ask you for help on a math problem, you would help them, right? And plus, I don’t trust you. I never did, for the record. I just really want to get out of this place, which now I am believing is my personal hell, not your’s, but I can’t do that without you!”

Kai took a bite of his ravioli, taking his sweet time to chew and swallow. I clenched my knife, tempted to throw it into his carotid.

“Watch your temper, princess. If you keep yelling at me, then I definitely won’t help you.” I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly, trying to calm myself down. “Fine. Sorry. I just don’t want to answer the questions about my necklace.”

“Oh, I know. That’s why I’m asking,” he grinned.

I rolled my eyes, settling back in my seat. “Please, don’t. It’s really personal.”

“You know, I killed my family. It can’t get any worse than that,” he shrugged.

“Yeah, well, this is worse to me,” I muttered. “What? Did you kill your whole family, too? Man, I didn’t know we were so similar,” he chuckled.

“No. They got murdered right in front of me,” I whispered out. Tears prickled the corners of my eyes. I lowered my gaze to my almost-empty plate. Thick, uncomfortable silence filled the room. I tried to fight the tears that threatened to fall, but as memories came back, I could no longer hold them off.

“I-I’m gonna go. Thanks for dinner, Kai.” My voice was hoarse as I spoke. I swallowed hardly, trying to clear my throat, but it felt like shards of glass were rubbing the sides of it.

I went to grab my jacket and wrapped it around me, reaching out for the doorknob, but Kai pulled me back. He wrapped his fingers around my wrist gently, but firmly. He tugged me back slightly, enough for me to turn around and look him in the eyes. The expression on his face was something that I had never seen on him before. He looked regretful, guilty; full of remorse. For once I didn’t feel annoyed or scared of him.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he spoke softly, his blue eyes boring into my e/c eyes.

“I-It’s alright. It’s not your fault,” I sniffled. “No… I-I should have known this was too personal for you to want to share,” he admitted.

“Yeah, well, I know how much you like to push my buttons,” I chuckled.

“I do. I admit that. But I really do want to get to know you.” I narrowed eyes at him, crossing my arms around my chest and leaning back in my chair. “Why?”

“Because I… I think you’re interesting. When I was watching you and your friends, I was able to discover things. Things about Bonnie and Damon. But you… I couldn’t figure out a thing about you. You talk a lot to Damon, and I know you’re really close with Bonnie, but you’re still so private. I’m such an open person, so it was weird for me to see you be so closed-off, but outgoing at the same time,” he explained, his cheeks glowing pink as soon as he finished.

I couldn’t believe what I had heard him say. He was finally saying nice things about me in a sincere tone. I couldn’t help but smile and softened up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” He shrugged sheepishly. “Hm,” I buzzed.

“So, will you stay and we can get to know each other? I promise I won’t ask you about your family anymore,” he said.

I stared at him intensely. As much as I wanted to say no, every fiber in my body was screaming yes.

“Alright, sure. I’ll stay,” I nodded. I knew that if I said no, he probably wouldn't help me get back home, but I was actually looking forward to staying. It seemed as though my feelings for him were developing a lot quicker and stronger than I thought they ever would.

A bright smile lit up his face immediately. “Great! Do you want to continue eating? I have some ice cream, too, if you want.”

“Ice cream sounds good,” I answered. He nodded and let go of my wrist, walking to his freezer.

I felt alone and cold all of the sudden. I felt myself start to miss his hand on me, holding my arm. His skin was so warm and surprisingly soft. I wanted him to touch me all over.

“Take a seat on the couch.” His voice broke me out of my dirty thoughts.

I shrugged away the thoughts and made my way to the sofa, taking a seat and making myself comfortable.

“Do you want a blanket of anything?” He asked, setting down two bowls.

“I’m good for now, thanks,” I said, reaching her to grab a bowl. “F/f?” I asked.

“Yeah. This one of the few things I found out about you,” he smiled sheepishly, taking his bowl and sitting down next to you.

“Indeed I do. I assume you do, too?” I guessed. “Yep,” he nodded. “Hm. So, what do you want to know about me?” I asked.

“What’s your favourite colour?”

“F/c.” “Do you have any pets back at home?” He asked.

“I had a cat a few years ago. She died, though.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” he frowned. “It's alright. She was 20, so she was bound to die soon,” I shrugged.

He nodded. “What’s life like back at home?”

I took a bite of ice cream, thinking for a few moments. “Fun. Busy, but really happy and colourful.”

“Are you in college?” He asked. “Yeah. Second year,” I answered. “What’re you studying?”

“I’m majoring in human studies and minoring in art and design.” “Sounds fun.”

“It is. And a little stressful,” I chuckled. He laughed with me, looking away from me for a moment and then looking back.

“Do you have a boyfriend, or girlfriend, back at home?” He asked.

“Nope. I’ve been single for a good couple years,” I said.

“You? Single? I find that hard to believe,” he snorted. “Why?” I asked, my heart fluttering just thinking about his answer.

Kai smiled softly at me. “Well, for starters, you’re beautiful. You’re strong and confident. You know what you want and have no issue in fighting for it. You’re a little hot-headed, but I find it attractive. You’re very smart; I see you reading almost everyday. You’re determined and dream big. I can tell you really care about your friends and family, despite how much you and Damon bickered. You’re like a girl in a novel or movie that other girls want to be.”

My whole face went warm at his explanation. My lips were upturned into the most cheek-aching smile, too.

“And you said it was hard to find things out about me,” I giggled, nudging his foot with mine.

“Well, I couldn’t find out personal things about you. That's all just from observation,” he shrugged, not seeming to be embarrassed.

I nodded, “Well, now you know a few personal things about me.”

“That I do.” “I…. I thought you liked Bonnie, too,” I spoke my thoughts out loud.

“She’s beautiful, too. She’s also incredibly smart and intuitive. She’s very strong and nice. But you’re the one that really caught my eye.”

“Oh,” I smiled impossibly wider. “Well, good to know.” “Yep,” he popped the ‘p’. I couldn't help but notice how his gaze dropped down to my upper chest, where my necklace sat.

“They died one and a half years ago,” I started.

His eyes flew up to mine. “You don’t have to-”

“No, no. It’s alright. Um… so it was at night. Everyone else was at the house, but I had snuck out to go to a party hosted by Caroline. At this time, I was involved with a vampire named Kol. He convinced me to go out. I knew it was wrong and I was going to get in trouble. I was what some would call a goody-two shoes. Anyways, I stayed out until like, 2 in the morning. I was getting tipsy and tired. So, Stefan, Damon’s brother, drove me home. When I first arrived at my house, it looked completely normal. It was quiet and peaceful. It wasn’t until I walked into my house when I knew something was wrong. There were lights on upstairs. It felt so tense, too. I could literally feel how tense and thick the air was.” I stared down at my ice cream for multiple minutes, blinking rapidly as tears fell.

“I went upstairs and that’s when I saw him. He was tall and wearing a ski-mask, like he was trying to rob us. I guess he had other things he wanted to do, too. He didn’t see me at first, though. It wasn’t until he shot my dad when I started to cry and that’s when he noticed me. I ran away though and into my sibling’s room. I saw that they were still were asleep and safe. So I did the first thing I thought was sensible. I called Stefan. I explained to him that someone had murdered my dad. And as I called him, I heard my mom scream,” I shuddered as her scream ringed in my ears.

“That’s when I heard the door being kicked open downstairs and I knew that Stefan was there. He had brought Caroline and Damon, too, with Bonnie. They were all here to help and I was so appreciative of them. I thought they were going to kill the guy, which was honestly what I wanted. But apparently, the murderer was a vampire. An old one, too, which meant he was stronger than everyone. My friends put up a good fight and I tried to get Andrew and Jenny out of the house, but as soon as we were going down the stairs, the murderer sped up to us and snapped both of their necks. I-It all happened so fast. I….I just couldn't register what was happening. They both just fell limp in my arms. I didn’t know what to do but cry. I was practically screaming while crying, cursing at the murderer. I tried to fight him, but I was so tired and weak, he almost ended up killing me, but luckily Stefan got to him the fastest and ripped his heart out. He fell right on top of me, too. I will never forgetting the weight I was feeling just then. Metaphorical and physical. I pushed him off of me and collapsed into Stefan’s arms. He held me for what seemed like forever until I stopped crying.”

I felt Kai move closer to me, putting a comforting hand on my hand. I smiled softly at him, letting out a deep breath as I was about to finish the story.

“I didn’t come to school for four months after that. I didn’t even come out of my room during that time. My friends took turns everyday taking care of me. Stefan was on cooking duty, Caroline, Elena, and Bonnie switched roles of helping me bathe, getting me to eat, trying to get me to take a step out of bed. Damon and Jeremy provided the jokes and funny stories to try and get me to feel better. Alaric, who was acting like Elena and Jeremy’s parent, adopted me into their family. He said it was Elena and Jeremy’s idea and he agreed fully. After my grieving period, I moved in with the Gilberts. Elena and Jeremy called me their sister and I fell into that role. It was nice to have a family again. It was nice to have siblings again. To have a parent again. I knew it wasn’t real, though. Jeremy and Elena acted like it was real, though. They were so welcoming of having me as a sister, it was just so good. Once I went to college, though, I tried to get a little more independent. Bonnie was gone, actually, so all I had was Caroline and Elena. But we made it work. I’m so thankful for all of them. They really helped me and never gave up on me. Even when I threw fits about getting out of bed,” I smiled at the memories of them helping me.

“Anyways,” I shifted on the couch. “The summer before college, I ended up cremating my family and spreading them across the Pacific Ocean, thanks to Damon who gladly took me on a trip.”

“Wow,” Kai breathed out. “I know,” I chuckled.

“You have really great friends. I’m sorry that all happened to you,” he said. “I-I can’t imagine what you went through. And what you’re still going through.” “Yeah, well, I’m the survivor here. You’re an actual murderer,” I smirked.

He laughed, “True. You know, if you know that I’m a murderer, then why do you agree to spend time with me?”

I sighed and set the empty bowl of ice cream on the table. “Well, you’re right. I am trusting. I see the good in people and I see the good in you. When I was about to walk out the door, I saw the good in you. I see the good in you now. You can be good, Kai. I know it’s hard considering what you have been through, but you are just as much as a survivor as I am.” I intertwined our fingers and put my other hand on his forearm.

“You were abused as a child. You were punished for being different. And although that doesn’t excuse you killing your siblings, you still deserve love. I don’t know how being in a coven works, but I do know how being in a family works. You’re supposed to love each other and your father didn’t give you that love. Sure, you’re a little… eccentric at times, but you still have feelings like everyone else. I know Damon and Bonnie called you a sociopath, and I know I did, too, but now that I’ve seen this side of you, I know you’re different. You should be able to resent your father for being blamed for being a siphoner. Which, by the way, I think it really cool, honestly. I-I’m sorry for yelling at you and getting really mad all those times,” I apologised, looking at him in the eyes to know I was sincere.

He shrugged with a smile, “Well I didn’t make it easy on you.”

I laughed, “No, you did not. Anyways… You are a survivor Kai. A survivor of your family and this world. You deserve a lot more than you think.”

“Thank you. I guess that’s true,” he said.

I smiled and leaned into him, “I know it’s true.”

He smiled at me, his hand tightening around mine. My eyes trailed down to his lips, ogling them for a good few moments.

“Does the necklace has pictures of them?” Kai asked.

I leaned away immediately, my hand slipping out of his. “Yeah, do you want to see them?”

He nodded, moving closer to me so our thighs were touching. I took off the necklace, opening it up and showing him the left side where my parent’s picture sat.

“That’s my dad, Owen, and that’s my mom, Louisa,” I pointed.

“You look just like your mom,” Kai muttered.

I looked to my right, seeing that he was staring right at me. I blushed a little, looking down shyly. “Yeah. We got our genes from our mom.”

“Are they Andrew and Jenny?” He pointed to the right side of the locket.

“Yep. Andrew is 10 and Jenny is 13,” I said.

“They look like good kids,” he commented. “They were. I often wish that it was me who died instead of them,” I murmured.

“Why?”

“Because I was the one who snuck out that night. Plus, my mom and I were having some relationship issues. She was always so irritated with me and criticizing everything I did. The last thing I said to her that night was “I hate you. I wish I had a different mom.”,” My lips were pulled down in a deep frown.

“Well, you didn’t mean that, right?” Kai guessed.

“I didn’t,” I shook my head. “Well, that’s all that matters,” he said.

I nodded and looked up at him.

“You have a little… Here,” he said and lifted up his hand. He cupped my cheek, his thumb running across my cheekbone, wiping a few tears away.

My breath hitched as I felt myself leaning towards him. There was like this magnetic pull that I was feeling. I knew I couldn’t fight it if I tried. His eyes met mine, staring intensely at me. My eyes flickered down to his lips. They looked so soft. So pink. So unbelievably kissable. I was about to close the space in-between us when Kai stopped me.

He put his hand on my shoulder, pushing me back.

“What? Did I read the situation wrong? I’m so sorry,” I rushed out, getting up from the couch.

Kai’s hand grabbed my forearm roughly, pulling me back down on the couch.

“No, it’s not that. You read the situation totally right it's just that… I’ve never kissed anyone before,” he admitted, looking down shyly.

I smiled softly, reaching my hand out for his. “It’s alright. We don’t have to do anything. It’s late, anyways. I should get going.” I looked at the clock, noticing that it was 9:30.

“Or you can stay and we can watch a movie?” He suggested. “Sure,” I nodded with a smile. “Can I take my shoes off?” “Yeah, of course. Actually um, do you want a change of clothes?” He asked.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” I nodded.

“Sweatpants and t-shirt work for you?” He asked.

“It definitely does,” I said. “Great. I’ll be right back, go ahead and make yourself comfortable,” he said, getting up from the couch.

I smiled and nodded, taking my shoes and jacket off. I leaned back on the couch, sighing. I could not believe I was making nice with someone who tried to kill me. Damon was right. My type is crazy.

————

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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 4 years ago

Note

“Vivienne x Mc, where Mc gets injured and falls unconscious and later Vivienne taking care?“

Pairing with:

Mc x Vivienne - QoT Mc was really close to an explosion during a heist, causing her to permanently loss her hearing. You can include the other members too because I want to see how will they handle future heist when one of their has been injured, how does Vivienne react? Will she let mc continue or not? And how does mc feel? Does she feel she cannot as much as before lost her hearing?

HEY... how do you think Vivienne would deal with a deaf MC? im deaf myself 😳😳 headcanons work if they're easier!

QOT MC gets caught up in the blast from one of Jett’s explosives, and now has severe burns acrros her face and other parts of her body along with slight deafness. Could I get a fic of Vivienne comforting her, and telling her she’s still beautiful? Thanks!

…

Warning: Writer’s first time writing a hard of hearing character.

TW: Panic attacks. Mentions of injury. Mentions of scarring.

Introspection-heavy fic.

…

The explosion was one of Jett’s finest work up to date.

Vivienne could feel it rattle her very bones, even though she was quite a distance away. The building crumbled easily and readily, becoming nothing but a sour-tasting memory. She nodded approvingly, letting out a small sigh in relief. There it went, up in smoke, all the incriminating evidence Benicio had gathered on them. And, as a bonus, most of his fake career.

“Ha! That was amazing!” Jett laughed, his voice bright with happiness, high with adrenaline. The rest of the Poppy soon joined in, albeit in less boisterous chuckles.

Coming down from the building she was in was child’s play. She abandoned Benicio’s unconscious body for the authorities to find, humming to herself as she made her way over to Leon, just barely paying attention to the conversation of the rest of the Poppy.

It doesn’t take long for her to notice that something is wrong. That something is missing.

She balances on top of the balcony she’s on, dread creeping over her body like lead, making her feel sluggish.

“Has anyone heard MC?”

The idle chatter stops. Vivienne can feel the shift in the atmosphere, can practically hear it become tense and chilly.

Amidst the muttered ‘no’ of the rest of the members, Zoe’s voice sounds surprisingly clear, a tinge of panic and worry that makes Vivienne lurch forward, desperate to reach the ground. “I lost her signal. Something must have happened!”

“But Benicio is out cold this time-”

“Nadia backed off, right? She couldn’t have-”

“And there is no way Francesca would-”

“Maybe,” Jett’s voice sounds hesitant, an echo of his usual self. “She got… caught by the explosion.”

Remy scoffs. “There’s no way that could have happened, MC knew the dangers!”

“Keep an eye out for the police, Zoe. We need to look for her,” Nikolai commanded, his voice as cold and hard as steel, immediately cutting through the panicked chatter.

Vivienne lets her teammates handle the distractions to stall the police a bit longer, her mind set only on making sure MC was all right. She hadn’t felt so frightened since everything that happened with Isadora, and she refused to let anything even remotely similar happen again. She couldn’t lose anyone precious to her. She couldn’t. One more person, and her soul would have been shattered beyond repair.

Not to mention, the whole issue with Benicio was her fault in the first place. If MC got hurt… god, if she got hurt…

“Ambulance! Can someone call an ambulance?”

Her head whipped around, eyes wide. There was a man shouting desperately a few meters away, making frantic motions to something behind him. Mouth dry, Vivienne relayed the situation to the rest of the Poppy. Her legs felt like jelly. She wondered if she’d crumble into an unrepairable mess when she got close enough, but no such thing happened. She moved forward as if possessed, dropping to her knees near two bodies. One was a small child, and the other was MC, cradling the child as if she was trying to protect him from the entire world.

They were both unconscious. Vivienne’s eyes trailed MC’s exposed skin, painted an angry red down to its very core, from her left shoulder down to her thigh. Her clothes were ruined, charred beyond recognition, sticking to MC’s body like a second skin. Vivienne’s first instinct is to throw her cape over her, just to cover the burns. Her hands are shaking so bad it proves to be quite the difficult task.

The child MC is holding seems fine, his burns less severe than MC’s, which eases Vivienne’s worry somewhat.

Jett was right. She had been caught up in the explosion.

…

“I had to pull a lot of favors to erase our trail, but at least the police won’t find us for a while. We can lay low while MC recovers.” Zoe informed them, a few nights later, exhaustion sipping from her like water out of a waterfall. Nikolai is in a similar state, sitting near Zoe by the couch, one hand covering his face and the other gripping his knee so tightly his knuckles are almost white.

“And the boy’s father?”

“He’s been trying to locate MC, but I don’t think we should worry about him. As for the boy, he’s much better than MC. His hearing wasn’t as affected, either. She really saved him…”

“Then again, if it hadn’t been for him, MC wouldn’t be like this in the first place.” Vivienne icily mutters, tightening her hold over her glass of wine. Nikolai and Zoe just give her a glance, too tired to pick a fight with her. “If he hadn’t rushed in recklessly-”

“He was scared, Viv.” Remy says, from somewhere in the kitchen. “He wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Vivienne’s scowl deepens. “Yes, but who runs into danger? You’d think the fire alarm would have gotten him to run the other way.”

“Someone who didn’t know there was going to be an explosion, that’s who.”

The seductress growls, a dark expression over her face, bitter frustration raging inside her like a chemical reaction about to explode. It just doesn’t make sense. Everything that boy had done that day was simply moronic, and MC – the angel she was, putting others before herself as she often did – had suffered dearly for it. The burns would leave scarring, no doubt; they had become angry red lines and spots that Vivienne mapped with a careful touch every time she had to apply the ointment the doctor had recommended. She had to watch how MC flinched at the contact, how she bit back a cry of pain, hiding it behind a shuddering smile and glistering brown eyes.

Vivienne couldn’t stop thinking about her expression. About how everything had changed, suddenly and without warning, all because of a boy. She can’t help but think about what Remy says and seethe in anger at the sheer absurdity of the boy’s actions, but she decides to stay quiet. The last thing the team needs is another fight.

Zoe speaks again after a few moments, voice soft.

“How is Jett?”

“He hasn’t left MC’s side,” Vivienne answers, after taking a deep breath. “His guilt is practically eating him alive.”

Zoe gives the couch a mournful, exhausted look, but gets to her feet nonetheless. “I’ll go check on him.”

No one blames Jett.

Ever since she had regained consciousness, MC’s sole focus had been on him. Vivienne didn’t mind. It felt relieving to walk inside her room and find them close, enjoying life, doing Art Club activities or laughing over some funny meme. Or, well, trying to. Jett’s laugh was muted, worried, tinted with sadness and regret; it was a sound that haunted Vivienne wherever she went, something that mirrored her own conflicted feelings. MC’s laugh was restrained and also wistful and a little distant. Sometimes she grimaced in the middle of it, her happiness crumbling in a burning flash of pain that made Vivienne’s heart clench and drop.

But they were trying. They were doing their best.

They would get through this. They all would.

…

Changes are inevitable. MC stands through it all like a stubborn rock holding its ground against a current, taking everything in stride. Vivienne had always found the artist fascinating, a fantastic enigma that Vivienne had foolishly thought she had cracked a long time ago.

MC always surprised her. After everything, Vivienne couldn’t help but feel awed by her. True, the first few weeks were hard, but MC had accepted her condition sooner rather than later, while Vivienne still cautiously danced around it, not sure what to think or feel or do.

MC had lost 65% percent of her hearing due to the explosion. Her left ear was slightly better, only at 50%, but the doctor had warned them she would lose more as the years went by. And while Vivienne had once again thrown herself into a bitter spiral of resentment against the boy, that damned boy, MC had pursed her lips with a determined expression and thrown herself into learning sign language and working around everything.

Everyone had agreed early on that MC couldn’t participate in heists anymore. She’d still be their forger, of course, but she’d stay with Zoe when the heist was underway.

“It’d be too dangerous,” MC had admitted, distractedly playing with the hem of her black jacket. She had this solemn look in her eyes, hollow and heavy with resignation, but it wasn’t defeated. It had this quiet intensity to it, like a volcano about to erupt; no one had dared to say anything as she explained. “I can’t even tell where sounds come from anymore, so I wouldn’t react properly to a threat.”

Vivienne couldn’t really wrap her mind around it. MC had described sounds as muted, fuzzy, distant, as if there was a giant wall of glass between her and the world, and on top of it she was underwater. Sounds simply became a cacophony in the background, nothing for MC to really pick apart. It was disorienting, at first, mostly because Vivienne hadn’t really fully processed everything yet.

Sometimes she would turn towards MC with her usual flair and dramas, all but spinning on the chair of her vanity like the typical movie villain, only to find MC engrossed on her work and not aware at all of the dramatic sigh Vivienne had delivered not two seconds ago. That was, perhaps, the biggest change. It didn’t take long for Vivienne to get used to it, no, but there had been something special in calling MC’s name from across the room and watching her reaction unfurl, be it an amused smirk or a heated stare.

MC carried on, not considering her hearing loss a disability at all. It made things different, but not impossible, something Vivienne had irrationally feared in the beginning. She loved MC and everything that entailed, be it scarring or hearing loss or grumpiness or that annoyingly stubborn personality of hers. There was no in-between, no extremes. There weren’t moments where Vivienne had loved her more or less. One day she had woken up to realize she had fallen hopelessly in love and she had never quite managed to get back up after that.

So these changes? Vivienne would accept them. Welcome them. No matter what.

…

The hearing aids helped. A bit.

MC had put them on, frowned for a second, and then beamed at Vivienne saying: “Oh, I can tell your voice apart from all the sounds now!” And that was it. No magically being able to hear everything again, no magically being able to pick apart the words. There was just a vague tone piercing a muted world, an anchor making lip-reading easier, but nothing else. Zoe had looked. Oh, how had she looked, but that was it. Everyone had accepted that. MC was just happy to her their voices again, however fuzzy they were.

Now, Vivienne could actually come sashaying into the room and call out to MC, and MC would look up and search for her – she still had a hard time telling where the sounds came from – and then roll her eyes with a fond smile at her girlfriend’s antics.

Something Vivienne had discovered about hard of hearing people: they listened. No, really. Somebody else would be distracted by something that happened around them, or would look at their phone or watch or hands or anything else before rejoining the conversation. Small things, really. MC didn’t do those anymore. Her attention was solely focused on whoever was speaking, watching their lips, interpreting their words. Or watching the signs, the body language, everything she could do to figure out what was going on and answer accordingly.

It was only at night that MC confided how difficult and exhausting and frustrating lip-reading was. The Poppy made an effort to sign, they had all gotten quite good at SSE, but sometimes they would go out and encounter somebody that didn’t know how to sign or somebody that wasn’t aware of what had happened to MC. It was all sort of situations, but MC took in stride.

“Baby?” MC’s drowsy voice cut through Vivienne’s thoughts. The pronunciation was a bit off, but charmingly so. MC had been horrified when Zoe commented on it, trying to correct it as soon as possible, but privately Vivienne didn’t really see why she worried so much over it. Her voice was beautiful no matter what. Or maybe Vivienne was just far too whipped. Hm.

She smiled against MC’s skin, feeling the heat of it call out to her like a siren’s song. She shifted a bit, so she could rest her head over MC’s chest, snuggling under the covers. It was a cold night, after all.

“Yes?” She mumbled, internally screaming in joy over the pet name. The vibration of her voice was all MC needed to know she was awake.

“I don’t think I’m up for seeing Jace tomorrow. Think we could reschedule?”

Vivienne hummed, toying with the thought. “I think so.” She finally drew the words on MC’s skin. Her fingers slid over the charred, dry zone that had been burned and she frowned a little, wondering if she should apply more ointment in the morning.

“Great.” MC said, softly. “And… we could… maybe we could watch a movie? There’s a new one that just began airing – I’ll ask Zoe for a subtitled version tomorrow.”

“Lovely.” Vivienne drew back.

“I love you.”

The little heart that was the seductress’ reply tingled in MC’s skin like invisible ink, pure and happy and warm like the first few rays of the sun, something that would linger for many days to come.

…

In the morning, as she had been doing this past month, the first thing she did when she woke up was straddle MC under her.

MC blinked owlishly, staring at her with a soft smile. She let Vivienne move over her, sighing contently at the soft touches from her lover. Vivienne made sure to stay in sight, so MC could see her lips.

With all that done, Vivienne began her worship.

Her hand cupped MC’s cheek, tracing the cheekbone down to the soft angle of her jaw, adoring. Long fingers then glided over her throat, down, down so she could move over her collarbones, one hand to the right, one to the left.

One hand slid over smooth, soft silk, while the other traveled against rough and dry edges carefully. MC’s eyes shifted at that, always hesitant over the marred skin, and Vivienne leaned down to place a kiss just above where the burns had been, as reverently as an astronaut would kiss the ground after months away from the Earth. She hovered there for a few seconds while her hand moved from MC’s shoulder to her side, finally coming to rest over her hip.

“You are beautiful.” She mouthed, leaning back. MC’s eyes flickered to her lips, catching the words, her smile stretching just a little bit more.

Vivienne continued, leaving a trail of kisses over that side, as she often did.

“These tell a story,” she said, and MC listened, brows knitted in concentration. “Of a brave woman that was too caring, and of a silly boy.”

MC starts to shake her head, aware of Vivienne’s resentment, but Vivienne is quick to place a finger over her lips to shush her.

“A silly boy,” she repeated, and for once her voice carried no venom. “That would have had a much difficult condition had that brave woman not intervened. These scars tell a story… and its outcome, filled with obstacles and changes and that one stubborn woman in the center of it all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more determined in my entire life. But here you are, MC, here you are…”

She shudders with delight, her smile widening even more. One of her hand comes up to rest over Vivienne’s heart, to feel the vibrations of her voice.

“A warrior, an angel. You are the sun my thoughts spin around, always, forever. You came into my life and gave me a reason to become the woman I am today. You are always so optimistic, so breathtakingly beautiful, with you I-” Vivienne cut herself off, remembering to breathe, to pace herself. MC gave her a grateful nod, her expression soft with affection. “With you I feel like I might soar. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve taught me how to be accepting. To accept mistakes. To not run from them. And now, you’ve taught me the importance of not giving up. I admire you, you know?”

Vivienne looked at the scars again.

“The story these tell… It’s awe-inspiring. I’ll look at them every morning and remember how strong you are. Beautiful isn’t perfect skin and perfect hearing. It isn’t daring heists and life on the edge. Beautiful is you, are you are now.”

The kiss they share is gentle, loving, pure.

#Anonymous #answered #lovestruck #lovestruck qot #queen of thieves #vivienne tang #vivienne x mc #fluffy angst #lovestruck vivienne #qot vivienne #queen of thieves vivienne #tw explosion #tw scarring #miscellaneous monday #angst

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cruelfeline · 4 years ago

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Question im rewatching She Ra and ive got to the fall of Salineas and im wondering to myself: Why didn't the Horde do anything to their Runestone. As if the minimum that the Horde did was disabled/destroyed the runestone it would have affected the Alliance strength or the Horde could have tried to used it for any means. But nope they leave it alone allowing the Salineas Princess to continue to be poweful. So just wondering did they mention why they couldn't hack/destroy it?

They did not! They did not mention the runestone at all! And y’know, anon, this question has made me do some hard thinking on Hordak, and his abilities, and why he surrounded himself with the people he did, and so we’re in for a long, extrapolated answer that may or may not make sense. So strap in, and enjoy the knowledge that you have just made me talk way more about this than anyone wanted to hear!

I find Hordak to be an incredibly capable individual in terms of organization, enacting plans, utilizing established knowledge, and just... sheer determination. He decides upon a goal, and he is going to achieve that goal. It is going to happen. It may be a difficult road, and he may suffer horribly in his attempt, but he is going to defy the odds and strive doggedly forward and do everything in his power to make things work.

However, the actual methods and strategies he is capable of using appear limited. I’ve spoken about this before, specifically in terms of that time he used uninsulated cables in his experiments, and I’m going to talk about it again in broader terms.

Essentially, the thing to consider is that Hordak, intelligent though he is, is not adept in the art of innovation. He is very capable of taking his own knowledge and utilizing it successfully, but he is not able to easily deviate from learned instructions. He has significant difficulty “thinking outside the box,” so to speak (likely due to being a clone who was never meant to think up new ideas and innovate and do anything meaningful on his own), and this comes into play in terms of how he wages his war, along with why his success in waging said war increases once Entrapta and Catra lend him their skills.

Technology-wise, Hordak spends decades on Etheria using and modifying his own technology without seeming to have any interest at all in the powerful First Ones’ tech waiting to be taken advantage of. And while I’ve wondered previously if maybe he thought it too old to be of any use, I now consider the notion that he is simply not adept at incorporating new ideas and techniques into his work. Again: as a clone, this would not be something he’d be expected or even encouraged to do. He would be expected and encouraged to follow orders, to enact instructions as he received them. Innovation would be a display of individual will, wouldn’t it? So, it follows that this is not a skill he would possess or even think to develop.

Enter Entrapta: all she does is innovate. Learning new things, incorporating them into her knowledge-base, trying new methods and building upon what she’s done before are very much a strong part of her character. She sees First Ones’ tech, and she immediately tries to figure out how to use it to improve upon existing technology. This is the advantage she brings to Hordak: whereas he finds it very difficult to deviate from his current methods and knowledge, she does not. And so, with her assistance, he is able to reach technological heights previously unattainable to him.

A more military version of this involves Catra.

Think about how the war has come to what is essentially a standstill by the time SPoP begins. It’s been... thirty years, or so? Since Hordak landed on Etheria. He has absurdly advanced tech, yet he cannot seem to successfully conquer more than the Fright Zone. Seems strange, doesn’t it? That he’s unable to utilize his superior resources to do more than harass some villages. Granted, the princesses have supernatural powers, but they’re unorganized at the series’ start. They’re not putting up a united front. So... what gives? Why is Hordak not more successful? And furthermore, why does this suddenly change when he allows Catra to take over the greater strategic planning of Horde activities?

Well, to my eyes, Hordak is with military strategy the way he is with tech: he is very capable of organizing things in a prescribed way, but he is unable to devise new plans outside of what he is used to. Think about where he came from: the Galactic Horde, yes? And what did the Galactic Horde have? Countless robots. Countless clones. All unfailingly obedient. A never-ending army ready to march in and conquer and occupy everything in its path.

Which is what Hordak tries to do, isn’t it? He appears set on systematically taking territory and holding it, very much balking at Catra’s strategy of consolidating forces in favor of a more grand attack on a single target. He is likely operating under a conquering strategy that depends upon having an entire Horde of clones and robots available to enact it (and, perhaps, a conquering strategy based on Prime’s refusal to appear imperfect via losing ground?). Without this sort of force, he struggles to make meaningful headway. And because of his lack of innovative ability, he finds it difficult to devise a new strategy to compensate for a situation that does not include a battle-ready Galactic Horde.

Catra does not have this problem. Catra is very capable of thinking up new strategies as required, so she comes up with the idea to pull back from the northern perimeter and focus on Salineas, a plan that likely would have never occurred to Hordak.

Now, back to anon’s question regarding the Salineas runestone (I didn’t forget!). The reason it doesn’t come up, via my logic, is that Catra does not know anything about runestones, and Hordak remains uncertain and unable to easily incorporate such things into his working tech. Entrapta innovated with First Ones’ tech, and he is only able to work with it by basing his methods upon her research (which is how he makes his arm cannon). He is still unable to innovate it entirely on his own, so between Catra’s complete lack of knowledge and his inability to freely experiment with new ideas on his own, the Salineas runestone remains unused.

Had Entrapta still been with the Horde at this time, that runestone would have been properly assessed and handled, but she’s not. And it’s just not something Hordak can do on his own.

So! The point of this post. The point of this post is to illustrate how Hordak managed to get as far as he did with limited resources and clone limitations on his abilities: he has a potentially supernatural level of determination and the ability to recognize when others can innovate in ways he cannot. It is his decision to utilize the skills of others to compensate for his lack of innovation, paired with his vicious tenacity, that makes him such a dangerous threat during his attempts to conquer Etheria.

And it is this combination of stubborn will and lack of innovative skill that causes the initial Etherian war to play out in the strange, drawn-out way it does, with a sudden rise in success when Hordak gains access to Entrapta and Catra’s skillsets.

Well! That was much longer than it needed to be. And might be entirely wrong, but it’s a logic that works for me; at the very least, it’s interesting to think about, isn’t it?

#hordak #entrapta #catra #Anonymous

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chews-erotically · 4 years ago

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Waxing Gibbous

Pairing: Ezra + femNurse! Reader

Rating: Hard M / 18+ ONLY

* Warnings: ANGST/ mentions of depression/ anxiety/ sleep paralysis/ Tooth- rotting Comfort it’s disgusting.

* Summary: Ezra’s demons come to the surface.

* Word Count: ~1100

* I am frankly overwhelmed by the positive response to what I’ve written so far. I’ve been feeling a bit on the lonelier side (as I’m sure so many of us are), so this is pretty much me working through my feelings, so I apologize in advance because this SELF-INDULGENT as FUCK. Additional warning for just, flowery dramatic proclamations and shameless fluffy comfort because I am THAT BITCH tonight.

* As always, if I have added you to the tags and you wish to be removed please let me know immediately and I will do so.

*Part ONE* *Part TWO* *Part THREE* *Part FOUR* *Part FIVE* *Part SIX* *Part SEVEN* *Part EIGHT* *Part NINE*

PART TEN

Your new lives together began as a languid chapter of existing slowly, of lazing like cats. You often stayed in your bed, at times going hours exchanging soft words and insistent touches. You stayed unclothed for days on end, only donning a robe to accept the occasional delivery. You drank wine and ate fruit and cheese and read to each other from the books you’d begun amassing. It was heaven, bacchanalian.

Ezra would sometimes come up behind you at the kitchen counter and press against your back wordlessly, his arousal begging entry. You’d sigh, tilting your head back onto his shoulder as he slid home and made love to you lazily in the patch of sunlight that streamed through the glass to cut a warm diamond across the checkered French tile. You reveled in one another in such a way that each touch was a devotional, each kiss a promise. You had paid for your sins and for the violence of your past mistakes and bloodied intentions with pieces of your souls. What was left were holes you saw fit to fill with each other.

By the end of that first blissful week, you began entertaining how you would begin to reveal Central to Ezra. You had often walked past a small cafe that had an attached book store on your way to and from the hospital. It was small and intimate, and seemed tailor-made to entertain his whims. Two streets over you’d spied a tavern that seemed outfitted with copies of retro Earth-style advertisements and poorly taxidermied animals. You itched to walk in every time you passed it. After so much isolation, stress and heartache you were desperate to drink in any vestige of civilization, any morsel of culture you could find.

The first few times you’d brought up venturing out to Ezra, he’d been able to steer you easily with insistent kisses and roaming hands.

“Why would we dream of leaving this heaven, that we have sweat and sacrificed and toiled over, for hours unending?” he’d said softly into your neck as his hand crept downward over the slope of your stomach.

Eventually in your growing restlessness you grabbed his hands as he once again attempted a seductive distraction and you squeezed them until the stream of words slowly died off on his clever tongue. You met his eyes.

“Ezra, why do you try to distract me when I bring up leaving the apartment?”

The corner of his mouth twisted upward, but the gesture did not reach his eyes.

“Sweet love, we have both been through tours of the realms of seven layers of hell. We have almost perished time and again and have committed our fair share of sins too inumerable to count. Please, do forgive me if I deign to want some modicum of comfort.”

“You can have comfort, Ez, we can both have it. But don’t you want to peak at what’s outside as well? Aren’t you just a bit curious for what wonders Central may hold?”

As you continued to speak, the mask slipped away from Ezra’s face. A deep crease of worry, of fatigue, formed between his heavy brows. His eyes became distant, focusing on some faraway and unknowable misery. You reached out to cup his face and turned his mournful gaze upon you.

“Talk to me, my love. Please don’t hide yourself away.”

Ezra took a shallow, shuddering breath before responding.

“I fear I may have lost myself down on that accursed moon, Dove. Where I was certain of so much, I now find myself questioning even the simplest machinations. I find such mundane things as choosing clothing or food to eat almost insurmountable when tasked with the quandary of completion. I’m having dreams at night of things I cannot recall, but I’ve begun to awaken paralyzed, with the weight of a succubus upon my chest.

“It is a great humiliation to admit to you, dearest, that the thought of leaving this sanctuary, at present, is one that imbues me with an undue panic.” He was no longer meeting your eyes at this point, his gaze moving to focus on a vague point of focus somewhere past your shoulder.

You fought hard to swallow past the nefarious lump in your throat, lip trembling and vision blurring. You felt heartless. You had spent so much time reveling in every new and good comfort in your life that had stayed so foreign for so long that you had failed to notice Ezra’s pain. You were a selfish fool. You moved to turn away from him in shame.

Ezra did not let you. When he noticed your actions, his hand reached to grasp your shoulder. He turned you back to him. He enveloped you in his arms, releasing a steadying breath into your hair. He allowed you to weep against his shirt.

“Ezra,” you gasped into his chest. “.....please forgive me. I can’t believe I’ve been so blind.”

He held you against him as if trying to anchor you. He stroked your hair and the side of your face and murmured to you.

“Dove, you have been my one saving grace. If I am expressing this to you now it is only because you implore me to do so. I have tried valiantly to act as if everything were copacetic since I awoke in that soulless hospital room. Please do not torture yourself with blame when it does not belong to you.”

“It kills me that I didn’t notice, Ezra. We’re supposed to be able to take care of each other.”

“You care for me better than any I’ve known in my long and wretched life, my dearest love. I have these demons through circumstances both within and beyond my control. If not for you I would be rendered truly wretched, unworthy of the lowliest glance from the dregs of the universe.”

Your hands framed his face, your tears slowing incrementally as his words flowed through you like pure rivulets of gentle intention. You kissed him so gently, so reverently, as if he were a secret thing only reserved for those beholden to the designs of the old gods. Forgotten and precious. Sacred and profane.

“My soul will always seek out yours, beautiful boy. I will do whatever it takes to help you through this. I will ask nothing from you, ever. If you want to stay here forever I will be by your side. There is truly nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Ezra’s voice hitched with emotion. He kissed over and over your eyelids, your nose, your cheeks, before settling his parted lips to the crook of your neck, where bore witness to the fluttering of your pulse beneath your skin.

“I will try, Dove. For you I will move planets. I will raze Kevva themselves to the ground and condemn myself to eternal damnation. For you, I will try.”

Tags: @ifimayhaveaword @thedaysarenotfull @absurdthirst @cinewhore @hopelikethesun @yespolkadotkitty @lose-eels @lackofhonor @din-damn-djarin @mrpascals @theocatkov @thefineandnobleartofavoidance @hellojustheretolookatmeemees @cyaredindjarin @im-like-reallythirsty @mstgsmy @goldafterglow @sistahsarah-sallysaidso @givemethatgold @shaqbutt @sirianisrock @artemiseamoon @thatreclusewriter, @scribbledghost @f0rever15elf @opheliaelysia @qveenbvtch @hdlynnslibrary @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @spacegayofficial @ezraslittlebirdie @ezrasarm @ezraslittleblondestreak @tintinwrites @kindablackenedsuperhero @darthadeline @alexisinorbit @knittingqueen13 @lueurnotes @xakilicious @keeper0fthestars @huliabitch @di-kut @zombieaurora @corrupt-fvcker @cryptkeepersoul @teaofpeach

#chews-erotically writes #chews-erotically #ezra prospect #ezra x reader #ezra fic #waxing gibbous

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hongism · 3 years ago

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hi caly boo its ur 🌊 anon! i finally finished the most brilliant darkness and oh my lawd i’m in spain without the s. to put it shortly: U DID NOT DISAPPOINT BESTIE, and it seems unreal that u and ur mind and this fic even exists bc every moment is just polished to perfection, while simultaneously every character is polished to a sort of imperfect perfection(?). i have so many questions and things to say idek where to start, and tho im not good with words and even worse at deciphering hidden meanings, here are just some of my thoughts that i remember from the story.

hello my dear!!! eee im gonna answer separately since i think i’ll be very long-winded as usual but first of all thank you so much :(( this fic is actually very full of subliminal messages and hidden nuances that are weaved throughout which i think could be quite confusing so i apologize for that! if i had managed my time better, i would have adjusted when i started the fic to account for managing those aspects of the fic but alas i’m terrible at time management and i suck so. anyways.

first of all, ngl halfway into the story i lowkey forgot this was a wooyoung fic bc SANNN and also bc wooyoung appeared like 3 times lol. even after it finishing all that, i still had my doubts as to why this is a wooyoung fic, or more like why is san this significant in a wooyoung fic. im still a bit slow on these pls forgive me and im just curious why u made it like that.

i think yeah the most interesting thing about this fic is the emphasis on san over wooyoung. and when looking over it yeah i could have switched san and wooyoung’s characters and called it a day, but wooyoung really in my mind acts as the integral turning point for decisions made in the story.

the goal with the fic wasn’t really to be hyperfocused on the pairing itself, but rather the emotions and thought processes of each character (aside from wooyoung). wooyoung was kept intentionally mysterious and a bit set apart from the rest of the fic because his role in story was moreso an abstract of hestia, the goddess of the hearth and home. wooyoung’s character appeared in times where y/n was struggling with the thought of home or adjusting to the new changes in her life! wooyoung’s pairing itself was actually intended to be solely platonic at first, but as the story went on i thought having mc develop feelings for him added another turning point in the fic!

moving on, the second biggest question i had is the whole hestia!wooyoung and cafe aurora situation. i did a bit of reading on hestia and only found out that she was the goddess of hearth, which might explain the fireplace and the kind of homey feeling to the cafe. and ‘cafe aurora not really existing to most’ part, which was already hinted at wooyoung randomly disappearing, mc never seeing the cafe before or wooyoung only bringing people he wants into it. i get that him inviting mc must suggest her significance to him, but why was he so adamant about his friends not mentioning him or the cafe to mc before that? wooyoung is quite a mysterious character i think, and given that this fic is supposed to be about him, it’s a bit odd that there’s still so many things left unknown, but its kinda cool that way nonetheless and im guessing u would also like to explain that further outside of the story too.

i think my biggest regret about this fic is the fucking summary.... i wrote that summary well before i even started writing the fic thinking it would go in that direction but it didn’t. and since this fic was for a collab, i left the summary as is because i genuinely cannot for the life of me figure out a better one. but i’m trying to figure out a better one. but i really fucking hate the current summary because it’s not at all what the fic is truly about and i hate it.

however, i don’t hate the fic itself, and the reason why i don’t is because i got to play with both my writing style and how i displayed the story. for this collab we were asked to pick a greek god and one of the seven deadly sins, and i selected hestia and sloth. and initially i had intended to have sloth be represented by the reader’s depression, and wooyoung be a more ‘real’ depiction of hestia. i shifted gears very early on in the fic but what it became is moreso abstract realizations in the characters.

san’s character is meant to be this idea of sloth, and it’s mentioned several times that he doesn’t want to move forward, he wants to go slow, he wants to stop moving so fast through life, and those things point to him being a depiction of sloth

wooyoung’s was harder to encapsulate in a more abstract way but you hit the nail on the head really with the homey feeling of the cafe. beyond that, mc talks about just naturally feeling at ease and comfortable with how things are with wooyoung and being around him, and he takes up this role of being the likeable, warm, cozy, comforting character. it all comes to a head in the last scene where he brings both y/n and san into the cafe.

and again wooyoung’s character is meant to be most mysterious and abstract, but if i had had more time to fully flesh out the fic, i think i would have liked to touch more on him. at the same time however i left it more open-ended and open to interpretation. the significance in him inviting mc in and not being mentioned by the others sooner is twofold. one; the others never really had any reason whatsoever to mention wooyoung. he was a friend outside the circle who never joined in with them when mc was around. i personally in my own friendships don’t mention friends outside the circle by name or anything, just kinda vaguely talking about them unless im certain the people know who this person is. the concept of wooyoung having to invite mc in was more nuanced and vague as well, intentionally so, but that was moreso meant to represent this idea of ‘you can’t make a home somewhere where you aren’t invited’ so y/n couldn’t fully make a home of the place she was in without being invited in and welcomed in, but again that’s something i wish i had more time to fully flesh out.

the hongjoong speech about love (and also the interaction with seonghwa after that) deserves a standing ovation of its own 👏 unfortunately, or not, im not actually going through the emotional turmoil regarding love the same way as hj or mc to be able to fully relate to his words, but the whole ‘if you dont love what u see in the mirror then u dont love it’ mentality really hit me hard, and i’d like to hang onto that when i make decisions in the future haha thank you wise caly! seonghwa and hongjoong’s story is also beautiful, and just like mc said, the more i look at it the more it hurts :’)

the hongjoong speech about love was meant to be something very jaded and specific to his worldview. it actually isn’t wholly how i view love personally, but it was a perfect description to how both he and y/n perceived the love in their own lives. mostly thanks to their own emotional turmoils. the mentality of the mirror quote is something that i think i also struggle with, which is why i included it. it’s hard to do, but even in friendships, i think it’s necessarily to stop and look at the person you were before this relationship and then the person during this relationship. if you don’t love the one you are now, then maybe it’s a sign to reflect and see the bigger picture, so that was a lil reminder to myself and i’m glad it touched you as well!!!

“do you love him, or do you love the idea of being in love with him?” - haha i see what u did there (or maybe i didnt please dont laugh at me if i didnt). its still so good everytime i see it bc i keep finding myself loving just the idea of things time and time again even when this makes total sense to me oof :/

heh yeah again with the more abstract concepts this one was more direct and ‘cliche’ but i fully wanted that cliche in the fic because i thought it suited the situation where mc was constantly struggling with a version of san that she thought she loved vs the version of san she got every time they were together

despite how enlightened she seems to be, mc still made the same choices, and i wanna smack her for it and pat her back at the same time. and maybe also bc of the fact that she feels so differently for the two men that i feel like no ending could really justify her decision, so ending in the vague is probably the best. your ending might kind of allude to someone more than the other already, and tho i still don’t think he’s the best one for her based on just my pov on love, i kinda agree with you. but again, this raises the question of, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic?

and yeah the whole knife in the chest at the end of it all is that she was still too scared to face the music so to speak. but really i would say she made the same choices up until the conversation on the balcony with san. and you’re absolutely right, the reason i chose the ending the way i did was because either way, there’s no justification. and actually although it might seems like i was alluding to someone specific, san being in the cafe at the very end was moreso to represent that as much as they fought, he still very much loved her and wanted to be loved by her. it was kinda an open casket ending there were no nails in the coffin, the choice between wooyoung and san still stands and an argument could be made for either of them! i think this is a fic that i could see myself revisiting one day with two endings - one for san, and one for wooyoung.

something i didn’t mention earlier about wooyoung’s character being left intentionally mysterious was that he was representing a new and budding love. the honeymoon phase where you’re falling for someone you don’t even really know. you are the reader aren’t meant to really know who wooyoung is because of that beyond what you read about him, so his past and such was left out intentionally to represent that idea of ‘hey wow im in love with a stranger!’ whereas san was this gritty love that’s bad for you. and there are pros and cons to each just as with anything!!

so,,,, why a wooyoung fic and not a san fic? well i picked wooyoung for my collab so he was one of the main focuses of the fic regardless of which direction i took with it. as for why wooyoung wasn’t more forward, i already answered that but !!! i view it as both a wooyoung fic and a san fic. both are highlighted characters with main pairing roles!

i literally just woke up to write this and am going back to sleep ahaha so i apologize if this makes no sense. i somehow felt like i’ve read so much yet so little at the same time, maybe bc there are still so many things i havent fully made sense of, and that’s where i hope you come in and enlighten me. i still stand by my word that this fic deserves so much more recognition despite the lack of explicit smut bc of how much more you’ve explored through character building. love you caly and thank u for working so hard <3 — 🌊

no worries my beloved i hope you go back to sleep and get lots and lots of rest!! and i hope my response helps enlighten the not so clear things as well dgjdklfg but really thank you so much. it was a long fic and hard to get through at times, but as a whole, i’m proud of it and what i created, so thank you for recognizing my efforts and appreciating them 🥺

#🌊 anon #fic; the most brilliant darkness

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faithsummers11 · 7 years ago

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Love never dies❤

A/N:- Hey!!! Guess what it's my birthday but that's not important what's important is that its harry's birthday. Well it's a different story that it's on the same day. So what im going to do is post a lots and lots of harry i have like 3 already in my drafts, so stay tuned.

Well someone requested me to write a oneshot about harry where "he's your friend for long time but then he finally deside to break the boundaries and make you his" but apparently i have written somewere similar to this plot oneshot about Niall so i decided to mix it up with another request well it's not a request something my sis wants me to write "where you are celebrity friends turned patners with some jelous harry and a bit of celeb drama"

Both of them are anyway cheesy but i thought I'll give it a go, so this is what i came up with i hope you guys like it. Sorry tht it's quite long. And Again english is not my first language so pardon me for any mistakes.

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"Umm.. I just wanted to ask like.. Umm... only if you're ok with it... will you be my like.. girlfriend" he asked with a bit nervousness "I think we should start it off with a friendship before getting into a relationship " i said politely denying his offer and forwarding a hand of friendship which he gladly shook. That event to today's day is something I'm utterly proud of and most regreted moment of my entire life

Oh how much i love him only if i could tell him this is the exact reason i regret rejecting him back then, it's not like i didn't like him back then, i did but we were kids he was 16 i was 15, if we would have got into a relationship back than then we would have ended even before we started, moreover i was just starting my career and so was he, i didn't wanted to go out of focus. But now that I've my roots in this industry and been so close to him that i even know his deepest darkest secreats, seen him in his most vulnerable state i have found myself fallen for him so hard that it was getting impossible to get up. But he probably was over that thing and was happy with the friendship we had, and had a lot of not-so-long relationship, not to mention he was now The Harry Styles who had millions of girls dieing for him.

"Mam the car is ready " my driver told me taking me out of my own world. I quickly grabbed my clutch and headed towards the car, i was going to this party which was held to celebrate all the sucessful music and movies of the year and i had been invited to, it was all celeb part so everyone was coming and being one of renowned name in both music and movie industry i was hell bent instructed to go, i quickly slipped into the car, and the driver started heading towards the destination.

As i was looking out of the window all the memories come back to me. It all started at the x-factor i was a selected to perfom as a celebrity performer with the boys, taking i only had one album out and was just starting my career i wasn't supposed to be there but considering that i worked for Simon's lable got me as a celebrity performer, i spend 4 days with the boys we got along so well, we also wrote copule of songs and performed a very orignal track on the show, which everyone tend to fall in love with. Especially Simon

After the performance was when harry proposed me and i said a no but fate had something saved for me since I worked with Simon's lable, Simon liking the song which me and the boys came up with, got me hooked with the boys. "I really like the chemistry " was what simon said and there after i was like the 6th member of the band. We went on tours together we shared arenas first day they performed 2 days later i performed in the same arena, we literally shared same crew same management and same hotel.

We travelled together, sneaked out of places together, pranked and drinked together, every thing i did they were with me, every thing they did i was with them this whole thing got us all together i became so close to the boys, zayn was like a brother to me, Louis was the patner in crime, liam was the gym buddy, niall and harry were the idiot friends, but out of all of them harry has always been the closest. Our friendship was something everyone idolized all the directioners love all the vedios i posted of all the nonsense we did, they also like it and considered me a part of them. Did i ever mentioned this made me one of the songwriters on a copule lot of their songs.

But this was only till their 4th album 'Four' was set to release and my tour for my 4th album was about to get over, that i decided to leave Simon's record lable, i was working on my 5th album and due to my work in a movie i was getting a lot more movies offer, but Simon wanted me to forget about acting, which triggered . Me truely speaking the management was already bitchy about every thing and controlled every thing we did and when simon added that i made a final decision and then realeased my 5th album under Capitol records. Well even after that i was friends with them we still used to do get together & meet ups when everthing started going wrong zayn left the band and they didn't actually talked after that but he was still a friend of mine he even introduced me to his now girlfriend Gigi and the boys went on break and all went solo well that was their decision and that never changed anything I've always been there for them if they needme, me and harry are still the closest I still run up to him even at 3 in the morning if he needs me. Only niall is been really flirty nowadays.

"We're here " my driver announced snapping me out of my flashback, i quickly had a look at the mirror and prepared myself for the flashing cameras.

The moment i stepped out all the cameras flashed i heard my name been called from different directions. Even if it was a party it had some kind of red carpet. I possed for the cameras for some time and moved forward where a lot of people were interviewed, i was making my way when a interviewer caught me he asked me about my upcoming movie and about my tour for the current album but then what he asked was something i wasn't prepared for. "So y/n what do you think about harry styles and (anyone you want)'s breakup? "

"Oh umm.. I don't know.. I mean what can i say .... there decision i say.... Ya. Umm i don't know"

"You are his closest friend as he say, so do you think you will now have a chance with him, cause trust me no this a lot of people out there ship you two, do you like him?"

This question by the interviewer got me, i cannot help the blush that creeped on to my cheeks it took all in me to not to scream in his face about how happy i was with the breakup and how much i loved him "umm.. Well we are just friends " was all i said before leaving.

I was glad i was inside, i quickly grabbed a drink and found a group of friends who i got into a conversation with. I was in a conversation when i heard someone call my name, i turned to see it was niall standing in a corner with harry, ed And ed's girlfriend. I excused myself and went over to them i greated every one with smile and hugs, being in this industry for 8-9 years now i was friend with everyone i knew, ed being close one again because of harry, he was close to harry and so to me.

"Hey mate how you doing ". i asked niall getting out of his warm hug.

"Nothing much, just the album and stuff, btw what about you heard you got paired with Rayan Gosling for your upcoming movie, you must be dying happy isn't he your celebrity crush" Niall said all exited

"Yep he is, you know when i came to know about he being my patner, i truely lost my shit i was jumping around my entire house like a crazy maniac " everyone busted out laughing on how exited i was, ofcourse it was like a dream come true for me.

"Looks like you've been stalking her niall " harry kinda snapped

"Umm.. No mate it's all over the internet i was just happy for her and a..." Niall said but was cut by harry "Dosen't matter mate it's ok don't bother me about it, she has already worked with some legends in the industry that dosen't change her winny self, stop thinking of yourself like god y/n" harry said more like dissed me i was expecting a congrats but he was acting a bit bitchy towards me lately ever since the last meet at award show some days ago. He didn't picked up my calls or spoke to me without throwing shade at me, and he being rude hurted me to hell, cause it was the last thing i wanted i loved him beyond belief i couldn't have afforded the loss of our friendship at any cost.

Ed probably senced that he being the only one who knows my feelings for him, spoke " wohh mate easy there you being rude now, you two share the best friendship i know so plzz now" "Whatever " harry said rolling his eyes. I was literally holding back tears at this point.

Just than Charlie puth came up "Hey Y/N, here you are, hey guys i hope you are doing fine, sorry to disturb you but can i just borrow your friend for a minute just need to talk some business" charlie said excusing both of us. I was so thankful to him about it cause if i would have stayed there a minute more i would've bursted into tears.

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Harry's p.o.v:-

She left with Charlie with sad and teary eyes, not as her cheerful self, not as she arrived i knew i made her sad, and i hate myself for doing that, i can't belive i was doing that to her, she has been by my side whenever i needed her, without any ulterior motives she never did that because she wanted to sleep with me or for my fame, she was more famous than me at the end.

I don't know what I'm doing but if I've to get over her this is the only way, she has me crazy about her but don't seem to wanna be mine. She has this effect on me ever since we first met, i love her since then, and my love for her dosen't seem to fade away even after all the years infact i found myself falling for her even more. All my attempts to get over her failed all those girls and relationship i had to get her out of my head all failed nothing ever worked, my last girlfriend i don't even wanna talk about it i litraliterally fucked her to y/n's thaught screaming y/n's name, i never spoke to her after that, but she seemed to have spilled the beans with her friends cause i remember y/n telling me about how all my ex girlfriends were acting bitchy with her, even if some of them were her good friends. She didn't saw the pattern there but i did.

This all was not my fault that i can't get over her, it was all her, she first said a no to me but became so close to me that i literally didn't felt no need of a gurd around her, she was the one who sneeked me out for some fun or ice-cream when i felt down or home sick, stayed up all night and look after me when i was not well, always been there whenever i needed someone to hold me at the depths of my despair, she was the one who soothed me when i felt down with all the hate comments. She was the one who made me feel worthy when i felt worthless, she was the one to run to me just on a phone call even 3 in the am not to share a bed with me but sit by my side and listen to all my nonsence, she was always one call away, but never let me call her mine or should i say i never got the guts to propose he again after that.

Well that's what niall said, i remember the award show we attended some days ago Niall was flirting with her the whole time, which got my blood boil so after the show i cornered him wanting an answer

"What the fuck are you doing niall!??"

"What mate what's wrong??"

"Why were you flirting with y/n the whole time??, your eyes never left her " I bit yelled at his face.

"Whohh mate chill down there i was just trying, ya know i kinda like her and ya see she is single im trying mate "

"Stop then! Stop trying your luck ok you ain't getting her keep your distance from he.." i was cut off

" Or what will you do, see mate i know you have feelings for her but, mate i have waited for you to make a move long enough now, you ain't doing anything, i mean.. Have you seen y/n she is one of the biggest names in the industry, beautiful like no other, purest soul with heart of gold and hot as hell, hotness drips down every inch of her body, c'mon mate every man wants her. And I'm no different, if you don't have the guts to confess your love to the closest person to you not my fault mate, being your friend I'll suggest you mave a move before someone else get her or just forget her"

Niall left me with no word he was right, i couldn't even count how many men have showed intrest in her, I just wanted to go tell her but then all the bond we had i feared losing it, feared losing our friendship, but still i don't know why but i decided to go the other way and try to forget her. Thus, ending up being everything she disslike, been all shady and bitchy, cocky little shit.

I was all in my thoughts when Niall nudged me "looks like Charlie is getting what you think is yours" he said making me look in the direction where y/n and Charlie were standing. There she was giggling and laughing her famous laugh something i died for, Charlie was saying something to her wispering in her ear being all touchy and shit, even she was laughing on with him her hand constantly on his chest or on his shoulder, sometimes going in his hairs. That seemed nothing like any business talk.

I know he was into her, how? Well Liam told me, when Liam worked with him he told me how obsessed charlie was with y/n and how he requested liam to set his meeting with her, no wonder he fancied her collaboration was just a cleaver means, for him to get to know her and by the picture i was getting he was pretty much succeeding.

I was satring at them with bloodshot eyes. My anger has taken over me now, i didn't know what i was saying or doing anymore. I didn't know when i just raged towards them.

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Y/N's :- P.o.v

I was talking to Charlie, we were talking about the upcoming song that we were working on, well i know it was not just about the song I'm not a fool to not understand that he fancied me, and was trying his best to impress me, little did he know i already had my Heart for someone else, that's one of the biggest disadvantage of being single, everyone who likes you tries to hit on you, not even trying to understand once why you are single.

I have to admit that Charlie is one funny person to be around, we were just talking and he was telling some funny ass stories from his tour days, which had me laughing to death, just when i felt eyes on me and when i turned to look in the direction i saw harry's bloodshot eyes boring into me and charlie.

In my complet time of knowing harry i haven't seen this kind of rage in his eyes a mixture of anger and frustration with something which i wasn't able to put my fingure on. I turned to look at Charlie and continued talking, just a moment later i felt a hand on my shoulder it was harry, he lightly squeezed my shoulder, looking straight into my eyes, i was not able to understand what was on his mind, he looked at me and then looked at Charlie shooting him a glare.

"I hope you're done with your business talk, i want to talk to you y/n" harry said pressing the word 'business'.

"Yes harold say what you wanna talk about"

"It's abit personal, can you plzz come with me for a minu.." harry was cut off by Charlie

"Sorry mate but we aren't finished talking yet can you just wait for some time"

"Nope, y/n it's important, you are coming with me now " harry said with stern voice.

"Hey mate! you don't own her so stop making your own decision " Charlie said adding fule to harry's anger

"You're coming with me or not?" harry asked me through gritted teeths. I wasn't able to understand what was going on, why was harry so angry, my brain was trying to figure out everything, and till i could respond harry yelled "Fine" and started leaving.

"Harry wait" i called as i put my glass down and started going behind him. His anger was over the top, his normal gentlemanly behaviour was thrown out of the window, he knocked and pushed everthing and everyone in the way, when i finally caught him.

" Harry wait, what's wrong talk to me "

"None of your business " he said starting to walk away again, but i hold on to his arm and made him to stop.

"Tell me, what's bugging you, i can help"

"You cannot, just let me go "

" No way in hell are you leaving without telling me what's upp "

"Why.." Harry started his voice was raised but he quickly stopped looking around and realising we were still in the party. He grabbed a strong hold of my hand and dragged me out of the party, he was still angry i don't know why but he was, his grip on my hand was tightening not bothering of leaving marks he was dragging me from different hallways full of people, Not giving a shit about me tripping on my own legs or people watching us, till we reached the parking lot.

He opened his rover's door for me and commnded "Get in" his voice stern and angry.

"Harry for god sake are you going to tell, what's this all about, where are you taking me??"

"I SAID FUCKING GET IN" harry yelled right in my face, this scared me i know harry will never hurt me not intently, i got in the car and harry came in the drivers seat and started driving

I put my hand on his lap and started "Harry.. "

"SHUT UPP" he yelled again, slapping away my hand from his lap. I was literally on the verge of crying, his rude behaviour was killing me, but i knew not to bother him taking his yelling and rudeness in his behaviour. I kept my mouth shut for the entire ride, looking out of the window trying to figure out what i did wrong.

I was just starting out of the window remembering all the good old memories that i had with harry not even realising the tears that slipped my eyes. I wiped the tears when the car came to an halt. I realized it was harry's place. I wanted to ask him why he has brought me here, but before i can ask him any thing he was out opening my door and pulling me out and dragging me into his house and litraliterally throwing me on the floor this got anger bubble up in me, he was crossing his limits, he got me angry all pooling in my eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" harry yelled his anger out, not bothering picking me up. I quickly got up, collecting myself and yelling on top of my lungs

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??, WHY ARE YOU ACTING RUDE AND SHADY?? WHAT DID I DO?"

Harry burst a sarcastic haugh "What did you do? Stop acting innocent, you know what I'm talking about"

"Oh for fuck sake harry, keep it clear what did i do?"

"Whay are you being all slut, being all over Niall and that Charlie guy, why don't you FUCK THEM ALREADY ".

His words had venom in them i was shocked, my eyes wide in amazement.

"Why would i do that, they are just friends, and even if i do it's none of you business " i chocked the word out.

"Ohh plzz it's all my businesses, you cannot be friends with them, or go all the way flirt..."

"And do what harry, they are the only people good to me nowadays, you been shady to me, you are my best friend but you ain't even talking to me, and don't even get to me on what you said to you ex'es because even my best friends are being bitchy with me, so plzz.."

" I didn't did anything, its you all you", he said tears forming in his eyes his voice lowering . " Everthing is wrong, it's all my mistake, all because of you " harry said breaking down, his voice cracking. Fuck how rude he was, but seeing him break, ached my heart.

I went close to him took his hands in mine and calmy asked "what's it harry tell me, I'm here for you, I'll always be" he looked deep into my eyes the rage was back, my heartbeat increased, my stomach did flips, the next thing i remember he had me pinned to the nearest wall, hands above my head, his body pressed to mine, i was breathing his breath, his lips hovering over mine, my heart was beating out of my chest, harry has never been this close to me, sure we have cuddled and hugged but never been this close physically.

"I don't know but you are the only thing i want y/n , i don't know why i was shady, just cannot take you with anyone else, i can't do this anymore i want you to be mine only mine, i can't be in all the friendzone shit when all i want to do is fuck you mindlessly, go on dates with you, do all the cheesy copule shit with you, hold your hand in front of everyone and scream on top of my lungs how much i love you, i re..."

I cut him by kissing him, when our lips met all this frustration and tension was released, which both of us were holding, now i understand the emotion in his eyes it was jealousy. I was over the moon to know he felt for me the same way i did for him.

He broke the kiss and looked stright into my eyes, "So should i take that you love me the same way as i do " harry said with sparkling eyes, "ofcorse you idiot i love you too, what took you so long" harry kissed me again his lips gental yet hungry, he licked my bottom lip for entrance, i ggladly opend my lips for him to deepen the kiss,.

Soon the way to his bedroom was marked with our expensive cloths, my body was pressed under him, his naked chest pressed to mine, his hands massaged my breasts, he pinched my nipple and i yelped into his mouth, he chuckled, and trailed kisses down till he reached my breast and took my nipple in his mouth, sucking on it "you have no idea how long I've waited for this" harry said switch to my other breast, "well that goes both wayssss.." i half gaspd when his hand reached my clit and started playing with my folds "so, wet for me already aren't you?" harry said inserting his long digits into me, he started pumping in and out as he increased his pace i was a moaning mess under him, just as i thought i was close to my release he removed his hand, i wimphered at the loss, A long moan left my mouth when he sucked on his digit.

I felt him line up at my entrance "wait you don't want me to suck you off first" i asked taking him in my hand. He laid me down back pressing his tip at my entrance "we'll have a lot of time for that but now, if i don't fuck your brains out, i would probably burst " with that he pushed all the way into me, he was bigger than my imaginations, it took me some time to adjust to his size, but once igave him the green signal he went all the way from slow and steady to pounding into me relentlessly, hard and fast, he was diving me crazy. Long moans and skin slapping on skin were the only voices to be heard in the room.

I felt my orgasm fast uproching, the knot in my stomach tightned and my walls clenched around him, "let it go baby girl" harry wispered in my ear before kissing me, that was all i needed to let go. My body felt light, the plesure taking over me, my breathing heavy, when i felt twitch inside me, his pace wasn't slowing, i thrusted my hips upwards to meet his, so he can go deeper, soon i felt him spill inside me and he crashed on top of me. Heavy breaths slowing down as we were coming down from our highs.

After a minute or so harry pulled out, i wimphered at the loss, he went in the bathroom and came with a damp cloth and cleaned me. After he was done he plopped beside me and i snuggled into his chest

"You know what y/n"

"What??"

"I might know why my ex'es are being bitchy with you"

"You know??, why are they doing that?? Tell me"

"This is embarrassing, but you know i my last girlfriend.. " harry said turning to look at me

"Yep, what abot her?.."

"Umm.. I kinda fucked her.. Screaming your name"

I sat up shocked not believing my ears "No fucking way, tell me you are lying " i half chuckled and half shocked.

"Well that's true, and she seemed to have spilled the beans, and Thats why they are acting wieard with you"I laughed out loud "oh my god harry, you had so many girlfriends how am i going to deal with this " i said snuggling back into him "you really love me that much" "i love you beyond belief y/n i love you so ao much " Harry said before doseing off into deep sleep. It's truely said that love never dies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I Hope you guys like it if you like it let me know Also give me some ideas for writing harry imagines for his birthday week, smut or not dosent matter, I'll definitely write it, drop them in the ask box.

Also go check my previous writtings,links here 1.Best punishment ever. 2. Dream come true 3. Get away pt1, pt2, pt3. 4. Roommates pt1, pt2. 5. Friends!! ain't we?.

#harry styles smut #harry #harry styles dirty #harry styles #harry imagine #one directions #oneshot #one direction #stars

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considerdaydreaming · 4 years ago

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Update

February 16th 2021.

First of all, I usually start with the time so it’s 22:18. Second, i still cannot beleive we are still in a pandemic.

It’s crazy because i looked back a bit and i saw about when I posted that it had been 46 days since the beginning of this mess and now it’s about to be a year since COVID hit in a couple weeks. I think we are trending in a good direction now because of the vaccine but it’s been a rollercoaster ride with good news one week then bad news the next, so I’m not holding my breath this time.

Anyways, back to the juicy stuff, of course your girl’s love life. I just wanted to take a moment to be honest with myself since it’s been a while since I took the time to sit down and really think about everything. So, here I go. Here is a real and true update from the oast year or so. Here is my story.

//// TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT ////

So I met this guy at my work that I REALLY was not interested in. I did not find him attractive and I was not emotionally available since my ex was a prick and he fucked me up big time. Anyways a colleague of mines had mentioned him to me a couple times but I had brushed it off because, once again, I was not interested. Anyways one day, another (different) colleague of mines and I were having a conversation and then he was on the other side of our cubicle and started asking us about our nationalities and we told him to guess and made a whole game about it. It was fun, not going to lie. So from there we started talking and we were just friends. This went on for a couple months or so until he started coming to see me everyday at my desk and I was like oh fuck oh no this guy is catching feels, you know? But i wasnt sure so i just continued to be chill because he was a chill guy but i just wasnt into relationships at that point in my life.

Anyways, the day rolls around where he finally asks me on a date and i was like nah fam im not down and i dont date my coworkers (BIG NO NO IN MY BOOK). So he was dissapointed but i knew he was not going to give up. But he was a chill guy so i didnt want to be a bitch to him just because i was broken. So I told him that i didnt know him well enough, which was true and maybe if i did then i would reconsider. So he really started putting more effort at that point, I think. I just remember seeing him more and more at work and i remember he used to put on so much perfume it would make me nauseous 😭😭😭 i was low key getting annoyed! But he was a nice guy and i didn’t get any creepy vibes from him and not gonna lie, there were a couple other guys that i was flirting with at the office and i kinda liked all of them for different reasons 😅 but i wasnt hiding anything from anyone and i was always honest so they low key knew what was up 😆 ANYWAYS i wasn’t shutting him down completely for some reason because there was just something about him that made me feel some type of way. You could say that I wanted to keep him in my arsenal 😂 anywho, i forgot what happened but i think one day i just said fuck it and i decided to accept his request to go on a date. The date itself went great and we talked a lot. We spoke about everything and nothing and we had a good time, even though we had a lot of differences, we also had the same point of view on a lot of things. At the end, i dropped him at the metro and tell me how this guy forced a kiss on me???? (That’s sexual assault no matter what you say, just to be clear) so after he kissed me he left and i was shook and i felt disgusted to be honest. I was shook because the date went so well up until that moment . Like that date wouldve been the best i had ever went on until that moment. I was devastated. Anyways I still did not cut him off, but I was very close. I think i was supposed to text him but i just didnt. I might’ve had another date that time as well or something, that period is a bit of a blur now. BUT i remember that i had to shake it off for some reason, so i did. The next time I saw him, i told him it was a no for me for all the reasons which were in the differences we had discussed and that he just didn’t fit the profile. I didn’t mention that what he did was very instrusive and assault because i didn’t want to have that conversation, it was just too much. So he was pretty defensive about that part and i figured he would just take the hit and move on. It took a while and then he finally did. We didnt speak for like 6 or 7 months and then we changed office locations and then on top of that, the pandemic hit so we were all sent to work from home and etc, etc. At some point, in Quebec, everything opened up a bit for the summer and so things were very briefly “back to normal” so we were allowed to return to the office on some days or some shit like that i dont remember .

We found ourselves in the office and we just so happened to cross paths again and he started to talk to me again and he told me to text him to continue the conversation because his break was done because he has been thinking about me and blah blah blah and i thought i had deleted his number, but it turns out i didnt but anyways the conversation we had following him thinking i deleted his number really made me laugh and it made me want to talk to him more. So Around may 2020 he reached out and we started to talk again and then he asked me out on a walk to talk some more. So i went and he was really adamant about finding out what went wrong between us because apparently this is something he was losing sleep over 😂 (now that i know him well enough i realize he is just dramatic 😂) so i told him what was up and how he sexually assaulted me by forcing himself on me by kissing me without my consent and when i tell you he was shook! We spoke about it some more and i explained to him how i felt and he explained to me how he felt and he apologized and when i saw his genuine regret, i knew that he was a good guy and i forgave him. He had a lot of explaining to do and a lot to do to make up for what he did. He did just that. We went on ther dates and spoke and got to know each other more and eventually we began dating.

Now that’s my boo bear and i know that this guy wouldn’t hurt a fly, he just daydreams a lot and sometimes he creates scenarios in his head that are not at all what reality is (pisces rising) 😂 a sensitive dreamer, although he will never admit it!

Anyways all this story to say that I really fell in love with this guy and im shooketh. Like I’m picturing spending the rest of my life with with and im seeing myself marrying him and having his kids????? After 7 months?????!!! Like that’s wild! Is it because of the saviour conplex? I dont know but he’s special that’s for sure. I’ve never been loved the way he loves me and I’ve never been treated the way he treats me. I never have to ask for something twice. Even if he doesn’t want to do it, he will do it for me. He deals with my moodiness and puts me in my place when I’m being disrespectful. He isn’t afraid to tell me like it is and tell me when im wrong. Like he is really everything i wanted. I think i can trust him but im still recovering and working on that and he knows and doesn’t judge me or rush me. He is just always there, like my anchor, like my home base. He gives me the time and space i need and he is always there when i need him close. Always waiting and always trying to understand me rather than attack or criticize me. I love him, i love him, i love him. Sometimes, i wonder if i really deserve this type of love. Sometimes when i say things i don’t mean, he hugs me and gives me love instead of raising his hand or yelling or breaking things, which i realize , i had normalized in past relationships. The way he loves me is pure and genuine and i feel so comfortable around him, as if I knew him in another life. I was really broken when i met him and i honestly feel like he found some of the pieces that i was missing and helped me glue them back together. I really thought i had lost those pieces for good but they just needed to be found again by anither pair of eyes. Dont get it twisted though, i did most of the picking up and gluing but the found some really important pieces, not gonna lie.

All this to say that i healed, I thought about myself and got to know myself then i found a true and genuine love that is so different from what i have ever experienced and im here for it. I dont know what else is to come, but maybe the next time I write, i might just be wife 😌

Until next time,

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mintyyprince · 8 years ago

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tagged by @arctic-urpo to share ten facts about myself aaaa thank youu♥♥

lets start off shallow easy by listing some favorites ovo favorite food is definitely fettuccine alfredo (bonus if theres shrimp) and i hatehatehate chicken. pls dont feed me chicken like ill be ecstatic that u cooked for me but lowkey betrayed that u chose chicken of all things

im very forgetful and easily distracted so for example ive already forgotten the other favorite i planned to mention having spent five minutes poking a friend omfg

my music taste is all over the place?? theres classical and alternative and (soft) rock and jpop and emo shit–sometimes all on the same playlist help me

i spent four or five years in the same fandom (soul eater) and for the past year i havent stayed in one for more than four months at a time. impressive.

I REMEMBERED okay so my favorite animals are dogs and cats and dragons and foxes and basically every animal ever except for chickens. chickens scare me. i am chicken when it comes to chickens. also lobsters

i usually only ever wear the same pair of shoes (these black combat boots omf i love) but i kinda burned a hole in them recently and have resorted to minty converse

speaking of mint i fucking love mint?? as a flavor, scent, and color like mint is so important to me that its become a nickname

i havent written in about a year (read: since soul eater) but im currently plotting something out!! wiggles stay tuned

im running out of slots uhh whats interesting about me–i have too many hobbies to really dedicate myself to?? my main is drawing ofc, followed by writing and playing viola (jk i had to quit last year :c budget and time cuts tho i was actually p good), and after that its baking, sewing, and acting. cant do sports tho. not enough energy or dexterity pff

i adore my mutuals, love tag games, but absolutely cannot for the life of me tag ppl in themmm so if u want to play please go ahead!! u can even say i tagged u if u want an excuse like go for it my dude i would love to hear ten things about u

aaaaand thats all!! thank u again pyry!! yours were so cute i love

#tag game #arctic-urpo #food ment //

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ts-nightingaleislands · 5 years ago

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Episode #12- “Liam: Hey Google, play ambience”- Sara

I got Vincent and Liam as my pool peeps. Vincent was just voted out, and Liam is on the outs right now. Things are looking bright. A lot of people want me for their final 3. All I have to do is make sure that Liam is out next, and then play the immunity idol for myself, and I'll be good! This is so exciting, I've never gotten this far.

Holy fucking shit ! I cant believe I have made it this far in my first ever real org! Idk if I'm being cocky or not but I do feel i have made most the big moves in the game or at least had a hand in them . I think everyone trust me and I'm praying to the tumblr survivor gods that I can keep coming out on top .

Wow! Cannot believe that I've made it this far! I definitely just thought I'd be leaving after Rizo but I guess I'm just surprising myself! With Cheatham and Austin saying they're with me and me admitting to AnnMarie how much I do value her, I do think its optimal for me that one of Liam and Sara goes. Seeing as the plan is to use Liam to get AnnMarie or Sara out, I can only hope Sara is the one to go, but I will not push a single pathway on myself just yet :)

I think a strategy that could help is Perception of Pairs. At the start of merge it sorta made sense. Rizo/me, AnnMarie/Sara, Vincent/Liam, now Austin/Cheatham, then the wildcards Kyle/Noah. I lucked out in mine going first and I think each one has been suffering since...except for 2. This vote I think Cheatham wants to pitch the AnnMarie/Sara thing to get him to vote with us. However, if it works, I need to cover myself in F5 and painting Austin/Cheatham as the last remaining duo is the best shot I think I have. 1 round at a time though!

I really need this immunity win! I know my name is always going around and this is the only way I'll have safety in this game. Hopefully ppl mess up and get to many numbers and cant make a expression . This will be the most hectic tribal so gotta do whatever to win this.

I have a concern for F5...say Liam goes. I truly believe Austin is going to be smack dab in the middle and I can end up being voted. In fact I am more surprised nobody else has picked up on how good he is playing. I can only hope AM does believe it when I say I want to go to the end with her for my own safety's sake but all of it can go wrong if she and Austin are truly close

FUCK SHIT BALLS DAMN IT! i was so close on that win. the one time chris gets one and it fucks me over.... i like chris but i wanna kick him in his nuts right now.Hopefully i can get by this tribal without my name being thrown out again .

I may or may not have gotten Cheatham fully on board to stick with me until the end. I guess Austin didn't keep him all that informed on everything in regards to what happened premerge and so I filled the cracks and I think now I'm wanting to bring Liam and Cheatham to the end so it is easier for me to bring Cheatham, but I feel worried that others and Cheatham too are thinking to bring Liam as an easy win. I'm gonna hold on and hope this can all work!

(LATER)

I lowkey just clockblocked Austin from winning immunity on purpose LOL what's wrong with me

(MUCH LATER)

I have a problem....So Liam goes in F6 right. So what happens in F5? Austin has never voted for AnnMarie. He ALSO did not vote for Sara in F8. What does this exactly? AnnMarie and Sara may feel less compelled to vote him and vote me or Cheatham instead. And it's just...I don't know why my gut is telling me this Liam vote is a bad idea, but I'm gonna see if I can talk to AnnMarie and Sara about it. Cheatham basically fears Liam's a goat to drag and he is but I'm wondering what the smarter move here is for us to do...for me to do tbh

Jesus plz just tell me what to do. Well I won immunity again. Im still scared for what comes next. Everyone is promising F2 but the only one I really want to go with is Chris bc I can trust him and I think I can beat him. As much as I love Austin and I think he is an amazing person! I don't think I can beat him. Plus he is promising EVERYONE a F2. AM told me that she wants a F3 with me, Chris, and her and I'm like YESSSS this is what I want. But AM is also close with everyone,. Basically what I want is to convince AM to take out Sara this week with me, Chris, and Liam. Then after that, we get out Austin, then its easy to take out Liam. Boom, Final 3.Ill probably update tom mwah

Me and Cheatham be trying to flip things a little >8l

According to Cheatham, AM wants an F3 with him and me, I guess telling her I wanted to go to the end with her did WONDERS! I hope! But basically, I don't necessarily want to have my faith fully in her hands in f5, especially with Sara and Austin around, so I am gonna see if Cheatham can propose the plan to vote Sara. Liam is not gonna be hard to convince, but its a question on if AM really wants to do this. I personally would be surprised. If Cheatman's honest about her list being Vincent and Liam, then she has little to gain by not voting Liam out and just getting Auston or Sara out with a BIG MOVE in F5, but let's see if this bridge can hold first

Tea time with Sara So this morning...it was freakishly quiet. Like I'm at a funeral, quiet. So I was like yup...probably my funeral tonight. But THEN... BUT THEN.... I get word that it's ANNMARIE (who PROMISED MANY TIMES that we have each others backs) potentially planning my funeral after this round because she wants to target me or Austin. Apparently she had Vin and Liam on her target list and thinks Liam is going tonight. However, if Liam will just vote with us, I will go to ducking rocks if we have to. I'm annoyed at Cheatham for coming for me, but he's a blessing in disguise because he tells Austin EVERYTHING not realizing that Austin is playing telephone right back to me. Lmfao! So anyways, I'm literally at the point in this game where I'm going to finals with Austin, or I'm not going at all. Every single person in this game has either voted me or mentioned voting me. Also, it's freaking hilarious that for rounds, I've been telling multiple people that AM and Chris are close. Like seriously..it's obvious..whenever AM talks to me, she somehow finds a way to bring up Chris' name. Come on sis. It was the same way with Gwen. She always talked about Chris, so I kept buttering him up to her so she'd stay on my good side before slicing and dicing her right out of the game. Same thing with Cheatham and Austin...but in that case...I'm pretty sure that Austin is actually ride or die with me. Hope I'm not being naive with that. And no, I don't think I can beat him, but it'll KILL me, literally KILL me if anyone but he or I win at this point. ): ^As for that above statement, I don't say this because they're against me...I say this because... -AnnMarie was messaged in the wee hours of the morning and decided to just outright ignore me trying to use the excuse that she was on DND. Cool yeah...but clearly you were scheming against me so I'm pretty sure that wasn't the issue. Don't act weird when you're planning moves....people see that. -Cheatham same thing. Every time he's scheming or knows plans that he doesn't want leaked, he avoids PM's AND alliance chats. Once again, then lie so you don't seem so damn sus. -Liam - "Hey Google, play ambience" - Chris is the real UTR that the oompa loompas don't see. I literally feel like I'd have to vote him but he too has not done much other than have a good social game...but he at least SPEAKS and is good at not lewking sus every time he's aware of a plan. Can you tell that I'm annoyed today? If not, I'm very annoyed. Watch all of this be fake. Or AM actually have me on the target list and I'm the vote. Literally, Idk what's happening anymore in this game. Lmfao! IDK if being in this position is extra fun or extra depressing.

The plot has thickened. It would seem this big plan to vote Sara out has fallen through. So me and Cheatham talked of getting Austin on Sara or AnnMarie and getting Sara voted. Now Austin pretty much went to me after and admitted that Cheatham told him about our F2 and wants me gone in F4/F3. Now, to be completely fair, it is possible he was saving face, but let us also look at the whole idol situation. Austin said Cheatham had Vincent and maybe Sara so he fears. So I did something a little evil

I basically told Austin to tell AnnMarie about Cheatham leaking the F3 she wanted with me/Cheatham/her in it. This builds mistrust between her and Cheatham and in essence makes her more likely to trust me still who is playing dumb as heck. Now the vote's flipped back onto Liam who apparently went to Austin to vote me or AnnMarie. Well! I take it upon myself to say lets just make an F3 with AnnMarie and Austin Into the Unknown we go! If AnnMarie truly wants Austin out to win, she'll choose me over him and if Austin is honest on us going to the end, he'll choose me over her. Cheatham will make a fuss, but I haven't been worried about making people upset since Rizo died so let's see where the wind is going yall

Okay so I'm like really really really really angry. I thought I had an initial final 3 and that everything was going to be fine with them. my thoughts was it was going to be Cheatham and Chris but things got to be stupid and had to Change-Up. so I told cheatham my plan and told him I was solid with him that everything was going to be okay and that we were going to be you know like final 3 and then he goes to Austin and tells him everything I just said. now Austin being the good friend that he is tells me that cheatham done told him and tells me that he's still solid with me and I was like oh my God you're amazing thank you so much you don't know how much that means to me because if it's true honestly Austin is my strongest Ally right now. So forget about Cheatham it's me Austin and Chris now hopefully unless Austin is not being solid and having his own plan but I'm getting the immunity idol tonight which is really really really exciting to me and I really just can't wait I'm using voice chat by the way like voice text thing on my phone so I don't have to type so it's probably mistakes here sorry.

Well, not going as planned. Liam is going home and i told him so hopefully that secures his vote for me in Final tribal. He has aid he’s gonna end them (sara and austin) when he walks out. we will see ig. AM and Austin are playing a scared game tbh. I’m the only one taking risks.

CONF: I still think I’m fucked in this game and idk what to do to help my position here but I think Sara going is the best move for me??

I’m drunk lmaoo msss

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5 votes Liam, 1 vote Chris.

#announcement

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