#advicewolves

[linskywords]

Need some advice. I've been stuck in my undergrad studies. I'm about to graduate but I don't like what I've been studying for the past 4+ years, I feel like I wasted a lot of time, and I don't know what to do with my life after graduation. What would any character from the wolfverse (maybe Tyler?) do?

What a good question! Here is what Tyler would do:

He kind of hates this thing he studied. But he majored in it so he must not really hate it, right? So he gets a job in it at somewhere soulless and corporate.

He hates it so much. Every day is a struggle. He's counting minutes until five, and there are always way more minutes than he can imagine living through. He starts leaving home so late in the mornings that he can barely squeak into work on time, and then he starts showing up five or ten or fifteen minutes late and can't bring himself to do better. He starts hoping that something goes horribly wrong like his apartment floods or he gets pneumonia or breaks a leg or something just so he doesn't have to go into work that day.

It pays well, though, and it's a job in his field. Lots of his friends don't have jobs at all yet. This is what life is when it's going well and he should be happy with it and if he's not happy it's because something is wrong with him. He just needs to try harder.

He starts going out every night to forget how shitty and worthless he is. Sometimes he gets drunk enough that he picks up guys, and then he hates himself for that because of course he is also in denial about being gay.

There's this one guy, Jamie, who's always at this one club on Fridays, and Tyler spends two weeks noticing him and then one night dancing with him and they go back to Jamie's place and Jamie fucks him and it's so good. Tyler lies in his arms afterward and is afraid to go to sleep because he doesn't know when he'll get to feel good like this again.

He and Jamie hook up a few more times but Tyler obviously isn't going to date him or anything. Even if he were gay, Jamie probably dates people who have their life together, who are really the happy successful type of person Tyler's pretending to be, who never go into the stairwell at work and just stand there for a few minutes trying not to cry.

One Saturday when Tyler’s really hungover he stumbles out for food and on the way back he walks by this animal shelter with puppies in the window. He's not sure he's allowed to go in, but the door is open and there are balloons, so he goes in and gets to sit on the floor with the puppies for two hours and it's the best he's felt in a long time.

He starts coming to the shelter every Saturday. They aren't usually having an open house, but they let him walk the dogs and clean the cages and even give the animals food and meds. Sometimes when he's at work he sits at his desk when he's supposed to be doing Important Corporate Things and imagines that he's back at the shelter with the dogs, just petting them and finally feeling okay.

He starts messing up at work. He's pretty decent at the stuff he does but it's hard to get himself to pay attention to it and sometimes he misses important things. His bosses call him into their office and tell him that he has to do better, and he wants to crawl under the table and die.

That Friday Tyler drinks an extra lot and Jamie is there but he seems unhappy with him somehow, and Tyler wants to figure out why but he's too drunk and then it seems like Jamie doesn't even want to dance with him and Tyler feels so sick and he goes off to the bathroom to throw up and cry a little maybe. Then Jamie is THERE and he sees Tyler throwing up and being a mess and now he's gonna hate him and why can't there be even one thing in Tyler's life he doesn't fuck up for himself??

Jamie brings Tyler home and doesn't even want to fuck him, even though Tyler tries. But he puts Tyler to bed and lies there with him and it's kind of nice to just be held by Jamie, really nice actually, and Tyler ends up crying more and telling him how much he hates his job and how he'll have to go to it again on Monday and it ruins the whole weekend, knowing that. And Jamie seems really worried and says some nice stuff and holds Tyler close and Tyler doesn't deserve it but he lets himself pretend for a while.

When Tyler wakes up Jamie is gone, but there's a text on his phone that says, this is jamie--tell me if ur ok! And Tyler's really excited to see it for about half a minute but also it's really embarrassing that Jamie needed to do that. Tyler doesn't remember what he said last night super well, but he knows it was really bad and he goes hot-cold with shame every time he thinks about it. lol yeah just a weird night, im totes good he texts back. Then he takes some Advil and goes to play with the puppies and decides he’s going to be less of a mess.

Part of being less of a mess is not going to that club anymore where Jamie saw him fall apart but Friday afternoon his bosses yell at him again. Then he has two drinks and is like, fuck it, so he goes and Jamie doesn't shove him away when Tyler tries to dance with him and then they make out in an Uber and fuck twice at Jamie's place. Then in the morning Tyler is going to leave, but Jamie asks what he's up to that day and Tyler tells him about the dog thing and Jamie's like, can I come?? So Tyler takes Jamie to see the dogs and Jamie's so happy and Tyler looks at him in the middle of the floor, surrounded by dogs, and he just hurts knowing he’s not gonna feel like this for a whole ‘nother week.

So he goes up to the nice lady in charge of dogs and asks her if he can volunteer more hours here, and she's like, yeah, we're actually hiring, if you want to apply. And he's like, haha, no, I'm soulless corporate thing, thanks, though. But then Jamie comes up to him and is like, what was that about? And Tyler tells him about the application, like it's totally a joke, but he also wants to cry a little and he’s not sure he hides it all that well. And Jamie's like, you have to apply. Haha, no, Tyler says, I have this degree in soulless corporate thing, remember? And the nice dog lady is like, oh, we don't care about that. You're great with the dogs; you should definitely apply. And Tyler fills out the application even though he feels like he can't breathe the whole time and he knows this isn't going to work and he’s just waiting for someone to come along and tell him he isn't allowed. But it’s nice to pretend.

That week he and Jamie text a little, nothing big, and Tyler tries not to think too much about the job application because obviously he isn't going to get it but then they call him in for an interview on Wednesday and they call him Thursday night to tell him HE GOT THE JOB. Tyler's so excited he texts Jamie right away and Jamie's thrilled and Tyler sort of accidentally invites him to dinner to celebrate the next night, and then he spends all Thursday night dreaming about puppies.

But then he goes in to work on Friday morning and remembers what his life is actually like, and what was he thinking, imagining he could quit? This job is the right choice, the one that has a future, and the dog job doesn't even pay a lot of money and he'd be wasting his degree and ruining his life and he wants to cry every time he thinks about it.

He goes through the whole morning like that and then it's their Friday afternoon meeting where Tyler presents his project and they're all like, what about the other half of the project? And he's like, what? And there are all these glances exchanged and Tyler starts shaking and fumbling his words and he leaves the meeting and just sits in his office, still shaking, and finally he's like, no. He gets up and goes into his boss's office and quits. Then he walks out while his boss is still staring at him and stands outside on the steps of their building and feels dizzy but also like the whole world just opened up. Like he's finally free.

He goes to dinner with Jamie and tells him he quit and Jamie is thrilled for him and Tyler has this giddy ridiculous bubbly feeling in his stomach that makes him laugh more than he has in a month. Then Jamie gets this hesitant look on his face and is like, is this a date? And Tyler's like, NO WHAT WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT WHY DO YOU WANT IT TO BE and is basically hyperventilating and Jamie takes his hand across the table and says shyly, well, I kind of wanted it to be a date and Tyler melts and dies and Jamie holds his hand for all of dinner even though they can't cut their food properly and after they go outside and Jamie kisses him in the street and Tyler's never been happier.

Then the next day he goes and does his formal paperwork with the animal shelter for his new job and he starts that afternoon and it's great. He doesn't love every minute of it but he loves 95% of the minutes, even the ones where he’s cleaning the cages. The only bad ones are when he has to deal with rude would-be dog adopters, and even that's okay because they go away and it's him and the dogs again. And every time someone's like, wow, you seem like you really like your job! He's all sheepish like, haha, I mean, yeah, but I got my degree in this other thing. And finally Jamie's like, why do you keep saying that? You know no one cares what you got your degree in. And Tyler's like, I don't know, isn't it weird that I don't work in that field? And Jamie's like, um, no, like everyone I know works in a field different from what they got their degree in. And Tyler's like WHAT WHY DID NO ONE EVER TELL ME THIS. And then he feels dumb but also really happy and he kisses Jamie and plays with puppies and is very happy forever and ever the end.

In sum:

Never do what Tyler Seguin would do

A lot of times employers care that you have a degree and not what it’s in

A lot of jobs aren’t even obviously jobs until you graduate and find out about them

There is often very little relation between our interests in academia and what we enjoy doing for a significant number of hours per week in the workforce

Pay attention to the things you actually enjoy on a day-to-day basis (do you like solitude? independent problem-solving? organizing other people? talking to crowds?) and talk to some people with jobs about the rhythm of their days and see what sounds appealing to you

A job doesn’t have to be a passion. Some people get lucky and end up feeling like their paid work is their driving force in life, but lots of us just have jobs that are enjoyable enough and end up finding the stuff that makes our life meaningful outside of work

Always ask Jamie Benn on a date

Good luck. Hope life looks less stressful on the other side of commencement. :D