#adhd & silence

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD Guide: Music vs. Silence

Future ADHD

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about how Charles failed to help Wade and literally went brain dead because of how much chaos is going on in there, one of if not the strongest brains, completely destroyed by how much shit is in there but... There's no charles in Finding Home Au because this universes Charles went out with Logan.

But what if Jean gave him a crack? Jean likes a good challenge and Wade cant keep a therapist to save his life. And Jean owes Logan one sooo....

Why not?

"A-are you sure? Jean you can't-" he glances over to wade across the room. "You can't go in there."

"Ive been in yours."

Logan scoffs. "You think MY head is messy? You don't understand, I've seen his phyc evaluations. One of the testers is in a phycward right now." He whispers through grit teeth, not wanting to bad mouth his husband but...it was the truth. It was a shit show in there. But it was Wade's show none the less.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine. I won't."

With a quick twitch of his nose, Logan glares. "You're lying."

"Yeah. Well what are you going to do about it? Hey Wade? Can you come with me for a second?"

Logan swallows as he watches him jog over, eager to help in what ever way he can. He bit his tounge with his canines. Where's Kurt? He needs a prayer done. For the both of them. In all honesty he wasn't sure which one needed it more.

Within 15 minutes, As logans pacing the hall infront of her door, She happily opens it up.

"Sooooo one.. You are so right. It's a mess in there."

"I told you not to look, red!!"

"It was just a peak! Anyway- I rearranged a few things anndd Tada!"

Rushing into the room, he's worried of what she's done to him. He expected smoothbob from that one episode when SpongeBob lost his personality and became boring, but instead, Sitting on the edge of her bed, there he was.

Tears were running down his face as he played with a rubrix cube, the cube wet from tears as he stared off into space, thick black headphones over his ears. His eyes flickered back and forth, his hands busy.

"..Wade?? Jean!" He scolds her, worried.

Giggling a bit, She pats his shoulder. "Oohh calm down tiger. He's fine. He's just.... Silent."

He glares. "What are you ta-"

"Bilateral 8th dimention audio stimulation." She smiles. "Aka- Science!"

"Why is he crying? Does it hurt?"

"No, not at all. I told you, It's silent."

"You..."

"Mhm."

"I-.. How did you get rid of them? We've tried so much medication! Nothing works because of his healing factor. You're telling me this whole time he just needed music therapy?"

"Welllll and for me to plug a few serotonin receptors, but yeah. Practically the same thing.. besides.. I didn't get rid of them. They're just quiet... for now."

Logans' smile fades. "Oh.."

"But hey, At least we found something, right? So if it gets too bad, you can always shut him-"

Logans brow raised.

"Them- Up. Just for a song or two." She mutters, glancing to her phone. "He's in the middle of Pentatonix right now. If you bring him by every week or so, I can maybe dig through that trash heap and patch up some more chemical imbalances." She mutters, putting a hand to her chin. "Not sure if it would stay though, so if his head gets chopped off or something, I'll have to do it all over agai-"

Before she could finish, Logan interrupted. "So he's... relieved?"

"Yes." She smiles.

"Without pain??"

"The most I could spare."

He hugs her tight. "Thanks, Jeanie! You're amazing!!" She blushes, having not been hugged by Logan since.. well.. since before he died. It was awkward, but.. warmer. Then she remembered.

When he pulls away, she watches he rushes over, sitting next to him, but Wade doesn't respond. He glances back. "What did you tell him by the way?"

"Oh, yeah hold on." Right as this song ended, She turned off the headphones, making him blink and look up, confused. Wiping his tears he glanced at the unfinished cube and then to Logan as if he wasn't even aware he was there.

"I-... Why am I crying? Uhm.. I didn't finish it.. It's still... messed up." He says as slowly the noise in his head starts again.

"Oh, that's alright. You can finish it next time. You did very well for your first time." She tells him, giving him that motherly smile, the large belly just adding to the feeling of praise.

"Oh.. uhm.." he swallows, smiling awkwardly. "Okay. Do.. do you need help with anything else?"

She thinks for a second. "I mean.. it would be really nice if you tied my shoes. I uhm... I can't reach. For obvious reasons."

"Because you're a planet?"

"Pregnant!" She snaps. "T-there's a difference.. but yes."

It's Logan who ties her shoes, Wade handing back her unsolved cube, unaware of what had just happened. He had an idea, but he wasn't 100% sure. For all he knew and how she praised him, they could have totally just done an epic sex thing, and he didn't remember what so ever.

Taking Logan's arm he felt... relaxed. Still baffled but they weren't as loud anymore. Talking in his head instead of screaming bloody murder (which some were demanding). "That was... weird. Did I just get mind fucked? GASSPP Loagie you let her mind fuck me!?"

"Eehh kind of. Come on bub. We going headphone shopping."

"Oooh I must have done really well then if Im getting treats!"

Standing at the door, She smiles as they leave. Seeing such a big toothy grin on the both of them was so different. And yet? It felt good. Nice to see him so happy. So deeply devote to someone... and.. if she wasn't mistaken.. she had seen a thought or two of discount engagement rings in that messy little head of his, though just looking for a split second, a glimpse, gave her a massive headache...

[infiniteorangethethird]

maybe unpopular opinion but probably one of the least useful pieces of advice I've ever got as an auDHD person to the question of "how tf does one make friends" was to go and join clubs/groups that do hobbies I enjoy. Not only does this not actually answer the question of how to make friends (yknow, how to approach people, how to start a conversation, how to appear friendly enough that they don't immediately reject you for existing, how to actually keep them as friends later on, etc), but also the chance of me choosing to force myself into the discomfort of "making smalltalk with random strangers" is absolutely nonexistent when the alternative of engaging with a hyperfixation is not only socially acceptable but even encouraged

[gendergraveyard]

Hyperactive boys rule. Like hell yeah scream and make fun noises at me I love that shit. I’m literally gonna kiss you.

[welcome-to-the-agender-agenda]

The focus on meditation in schools is so annoying. I understand it's helpful for some people but for people with adhd, people with sensory issues around silence, people with dissociative disorders and many more it does so much more harm than good. As someone with all three of those things, it's an absolute nightmare.

Meditation being helpful is not a universal experience.

[spiderwarden]

Breaking tumblr by confessing that my findings have me deducing she is bisexual with a preference for men.

[inklore]

I saw you post about how people should like to comment on writers work but I slightly sympathise bc some people are embarrassed and/or think that their comment/reblog would be useless. But more people are coming to this app to read a fic like another wattpad or an ‘easier’ ao3 instead of using their acc to post what they like yk

Srry for the rant <333

no need to apologize for the rant it’s always welcome here if it’s done in kind and yours was <3

i get what your saying about people coming to the app thinking it’s like all the other reading platforms but if we’re being honest i’d say ao3 is easier, better selection, plus when someone views your work your ‘hits’ go up and that can sometimes help more people find your work if they go by that / sort the fics on ao3 like that. wattpad literally has the same system of ‘views’ on your work that help boost it, but also commenting there is really big (as someone who was once on wp comments meant everything which is why i don’t get how ppl don’t understand that comments are everything here as well).

you could also say these other platforms make it seem like tumblr works the same way and it doesn’t, but even when writers try to spread the word on that fact not everyone wants to listen or sees it because people don’t rb (which tumblr was made for that let’s not forget).

but on this great app it doesn’t matter how many people view our work, read it silently, press the little heart, no one will see it unless you rb it. and being shy about commenting and thinking comments won’t matter is backwards thinking to me. how do you think writers feel knowing they have 100 notes and 10 of them are rbs and 0 comments? like we know there’s people out there reading our work and not even giving the pointless heart to it and there’s not much we can do about it, and yeah we are so grateful for all of it, but what we wouldn’t give to even have ONE PERSON comment some emojis on our fic. let us know that someone other than ourselves actually liked it. a ‘like’ can mean anything, it can mean nothing. it does nothing. it’s nice, it’s acknowledging, but that’s all it does. it’s a silent compliment that keeps our minds wondering.

if you weren’t embarrassed to read the fic you shouldn’t be embarrassed to comment on it. i’m not trying to sound harsh but it’s 2023, half the population reads fic. devours it. ppl are famous authors because of it now or get ‘tiktok fame’ over liking it. you commenting ‘omg amazing’ or putting two little emojis in a writers comments is only going to make them feel seen. feel great. feel like they’re not just posting stuff on here for bots. so i don’t super sympathize with people who are embarrassed because i just can’t wrap my head around it. but i’m also saying it’s okay and i’ve never once saw a writer get mad over anything someone has commented on their work (unless it’s been mean or a criticism they didn’t ask for or a ‘part two pls’).

if you like something on here reblog it!!!! comment on it!!!!!

[omokel]

ME CORE !!!!!

two losers from earth / life worth missing (car seat headrest) / everyone i've never met (leith ross) / blue lily, lily blue (maggie stiefvater) / night in the woods / in stars and time / radio silence (alice oseman) / i was born for this (alice oseman) / sally face / welcome to night vale / rumi / comic by @their-we-go / shadow the hedgehog.. / the scary jokes tumblr post / good morning (omori) / i saw the tv glow / screenshot of my horoscope from like two months ago

[feli026]

People who hates Igor bcuz "his voice doesn't suit him" has either not read his affinity tales/lore or media literacy is dead

[ksen-noodles]

:/

Edit: creaks like an old miserable door

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

ADHD: Music vs Silence

Future ADHD

[liaisun]

omg... if riko is younger than kevin... and they were raised as 'brothers' to a certain extent... considering riko's family issues it adds even more layers to their relationship........... i wonder if kevin ever realized

NO LITERALLY... did kev ever put together how much riko wanted family and real connections? i think kevin is the only person who ever can realize that. but even he can't articulate the full depth of it. i doubt he knew abt the older brother parallels, because all riko talked about was eventually meeting his father— how would kevin know how riko felt abt ichirou? maybe riko didn't even know abt ichirou until later 🥹..... kevin definitely noticed riko's desire for family when they were both young, i imagine riko was more open since kids will say things they aren't 'supposed' to say/haven't been told to hide yet.

if riko ever realized, he repressed that deep in the psyche lmfao and never allowed himself to engage with the idea. coped by putting all his focus into exy in order to prove himself and block out anything else that could distract him. sounds kinda familiar.... cough... anyway. HOW DID HE FEEL WHEN KEV FOUND OUT ABT WYMACK? omfg i need to include this in the fic right now lmfao. maybe that's really when their relationship fractured beyond repair but neither of them realized it then

kevin is slightly older— does riko resent that? does riko want ichirou in his life or does he want to be him? he'll never know and it eats him alive!!!! so he doesn't think abt it. does he punish kevin for not being ichirou? does he love and obsess and possess more about kevin than ichirou bc he knows kevin is the only person who actually cares but he can't stand the thought of his vulnerability, the power kevin has over him in turn, so he has to make sure kevin never learns of it and uses it against him?

[drivenbydopamine]

I just need to sit at the end of a dock on a lake for about 12 to 8,760 hours and I'll be fine.

[laylawatermelon]

Buddie: it's The Way It's Played

Aka don't hate the player hate the game or whatever.

(i promise the is Buddie at the halfway point if you just want meta)

I woke up pondering about edy's comments and found it a bit funny and ironic because she probably doesn't know just like we don't know.

Oliver recently talked about how he wasn't heavily involved in this upcoming episode 2 so he'll be getting to watch it for the first time with us.

It's the same case with her. In her eyes she does her few scenes and goes home.

In her head she is the chosen love interest and she is indeed being asked to come back.

The second half of the season hasn't publicly been announced (or fully filmed I assume) so she's just as oblivious as we are.

What I will say is that celebrities should know to not be in the spaces of fandom and don't get heavily involved.

Especially with shippers.

As a fangirl I have always been protective, I would say, over my stuff but I made like a rule that I don't reply or have online arguments.

(mostly because i get riled up easily in real life and it's dangerous imagine doing it with a complete stranger or a mob of them if we're being fr because there's never just one person arguing with you.)

It's likely millions or billions 🙃

Also as a fangirl, I don't mind shipping or not shipping.

Do what you want, I don't care.

I grew up in the good ole don't like scroll away time.

What I'm getting at is that some people are more comfortable on online spaces. Some are more quiet (like me) but they're there.

I've recently become disillusioned slowly over the years of Hollywood ( all the woods honestly) glamour so when they are shown or said to be bad people I treat them as such.

Cause they're that.

People.

Who do good and bad stuff all the time.

Granted we don't a camera or constant surveillance or record (or funds) all the time, but I'd bet we said/did bad stuff.

Now in Hollywood's case their stuff is mainly criminal/jail/wtf is going on over there?!??!

In her case, I'm not surprised.

There's people who are homophobic/transphobic and everyphobic (and -ist!!) in the world so of course they would be in show business.

Cause they're people. We got people (like millions of them, a concerning number in worldwide leadership positions but that's a story for another day...) like that all over.

Celebrities are not and never will be role models. They are public images projected onto a pretty body.

That's also the reason why I'm saying that she should shut her computer and cut her losses.

(a lot of celebrities should do that honestly)

But, it does let you know who to support and who not to.

And I'd rather know my enemy rather than worship a perfect image honestly.

I also think it's unwise to fight the people who are literally indirectly paying your bills.

There are 93k people (just on Tumblr) who ship the guys.

Even I know better and I'm a fan.

(i think it's because I'm a fan and ik how it can get I'm just an observer cause whew 😥😮‍💨)

That's not counting the ones not active here or casuals who agree with the pairing.

If they pay your bills walk on eggshells ma'am. You're job quite literally hinges on people liking you.

So be likable.

(once again I will reiterate as a fan/human with a heart let me know how bad you are so I don't give you my love if you're a bad person with shady morals.)

But as an observer it's like just shhhhhh. Please. The Internet is forever. There is no timeline for it. What are you doing??

If I'd say it it's like watching you drive a burning car driving down the street and you're sitting in it proudly waving and hitting people but insist you're right or a good person.

I'm just shocked at some people's let's say narrow thinking aka limited timeline thinking.

Fans and the Internet didn't forget. They will find you.👹

But I wanna talk about Buddie now!

Okay.

Now that we've criticized celebrity culture and the response of ms. Edy and her bad mindset (aka lack of critical reading and decision making with fandoms and responses in general also queerphobia?!) that honestly I appreciate.

Be a bad apple in public.

Imma stand on business.

Expeditiously 😤.

Bye bye support and hello uproar.

But back to Buddie 😘😚🤗😝, I wanna be clear I am a fan but I am also very critical of media.

It's the way they act.

Literally.

The reason Buddie even exists and is accepted is it's literally there. (Their fault)

There is no subtext.

The actors play it as such, the directors direct it as such and the marketing play it as such.

I'm a bit upset seeing y'all called clowns (although i hope it's said affectionately cause tone indicators or the lack of) because you're not crazy.

They quite literally put the battery in y'all backs so it shouldn't be surprising if the battery is more high powered than expected.

You are not misreading anything.

Most people just choose to ignore the signs because

(the church! Homophobia! All rhe -ias and ists!)

Truly our downfall as a modern society.

Anyways, as a writer and heavy media consumer there's no mistakes.

Every wprd is carefully chosen, every shot has a purpose and every cut is done. These things are practiced a thousand times, edited, retaked a thousand times if they have to.

There's no mistakes in media. It's literally made to influence, persuade and educate.

Nothing is a coincidence!

But after reading a few interviews and listening to the fandom I think we can also say with confidence they've been playing it as a romance.

There's nothing platonic.

They have platonic couples on the show.

That

is not it.

Even if you see it as pure writing without the context of their acting choices.

Let's say kitchen scene.

You wanna work it out in the ring (throws playful punches)

I'd take you.

I wouldn't do that. You're on blood thinners.

Buck steps closer to playfully intimidate him.

You wanna go for the title?

Now pause.

Ik we all know that scene religiously and can only see it as insane (because they are. It is.) but I read it in my mind as a blank sheet of paper and couldn't help but wonder.

Why would you say it like that?!??!!?

Mr. Oliver Stark and Mr. Ryan Guzman I sentence you will eternal jail cause wtfff?

I imagined it more platonically. You can quite literally put, let's say, Hen and Chim in that same scenario. Damn even Eddie and Chim.

Their acting choices would reflect that. Hell, read the lines without looking (or hearing their insane intonation) and imagine your best friend. Any friend for that matter.

It wasn't playful, it was well, sexually tense. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Ps i love buck 1.0 and was shooketh to see his return because i watched the show backwards. i did season 2-6 in like a week then begrudgingly did season 1. Me nah like abby ...

They are choosing to act it out as a romance.

Now that could lend itself to male partnership in movies (and real life) where they went to war together that were usually where gay/queer men had partnerships/relationships in every sense of the word.

The shows ain't got it from nothing. 🤷🏾‍♀️

There's always truth in fiction.

I also find out a bit hilarious to imagine the director tried to get them to stop but the takes were either too good or they kept pushing the envelope and the editors were like yes. 🤗

I will put this shot of them longingly staying at each other instead of the slightly less neutral one.

Or cut when they say we're the only ones who don't have kids (+buck) then cut to Buck being a good dad! 🤗

On a bit of a more serious note let's say it is a bit of manipulation of the masses marketing wise.

The show is very queer friendly with a (black!) lesbian couple, a gay man, an engaged (black!) gay couple and many queer stories of different races in their cases that are told wonderfully.

I acknowledge and comment them for it but ..

The big problem is how Buddie is treated. (Or rather the very rational people who ship them)

(which their name is kind of funny because I link it to buddy cop movies that can be homoerotic when they feel like it and buddie is technically that trope)

Homosexual media (in the case of film) has always been subtext, hidden, stereotyped, twisted or been outright secret messages for the girls to uncode (cause religion 🤷🏾‍♀️).

It has only been like very recent that queer people have been gaining respect in media so it's not surprising.

What life was like in 2019 to now in terms of queer media is like night and day. The same would be for the 2000s. Gay was used as an insult. The world is quite literally changing before our eyes.

In their case, the elf scene is said to be a wink at the audience.

But the actors took it seriously. So we do as well.

Aka the battery put in they back.

They respect the same vision. 😤goated

The chemistry is undeniable, and the tropes they have parallel a lot of romantic things used historically in media. (And in the show *bathena* but🤷🏾‍♀️)

It's not an accident to say that if one of them had been female (aka the "acceptable" pairing) they'd have been together.

You could argue that if he'd been with Maddie like intended they'd be together. And little jiyun would be a sister.

She might be a Jane actually??

Back on topic.

I found it interesting when watching like a compilation (cause i did nawt watch the show before become a buddie fan) and found it hilarious because it was like their normal behavior and i felt the romantic tension shift. It was like whoooaaa holup. The air shifted.

It's very easy to spot it because at the first few episodes it was very platonic then it became very side eye....

What do you mean he's cute? What do you mean wanna go for the title?

(That scene is eternally insane)

What do you mean with other couples they're paired as a family? Consistently?

What do you mean the kid and you go on solo family outings to the zoo? Constantly? For years?

You take care of him like all the time?

What do you mean he's your kid's legal guardian and partly the reason you lived after being trapped in a well?

The actors play it romantically. Ryan does cause I remember step up.

After like a year together? Over his family? Who are not firefighters??

Ik how he is when he's flirting.

The show also (unfortunately) writes their love interests as tools of self growth for them (which can be a bit problematic cause the women aren't being treated three dimensionally characters men get to be. the two who were closest were abby, and Taylor. Shannon was so so for me personally. Which is odd because they have complex main females it's just unfortunate that the women they have for them are rarely people outside of the relationship and that's why it falls apart in the case of their relationship/people getting invested).

Nobody is quite literally written as important to each other like them. They are in a relationship no doubt. We can say queer platonic now (as they are raising a kid together?!??!! Like come on. Chim and Hen aren't like Buck and Ed. Also the good cop bad cop scene?)

It's just not sexual I'd say.

Cause emotionally, mentally all that is there.

And they could absolutely play it "straighter" 🥴 cause I've seen a plethora of male friendships (slight side eye ry we got buddy cop movies galore don't play with me!!!) where they support each other.

They don't act like that!!!! Look at this and tell me I'm wrong!

(i feel insane but I'm not i swear)

the lighting, the cut, the conversation im melting~~~!!!!

It's not inaccurate to say that the way they're written (and acted!!) is more romantic than platonic.

I'd assume they couldn't let the two hot men who represent "manliness" be together because they didn't fit into a (gay) stereotype.

But they will gladly let you advertise their show to the high heavens and bring in millions of dollars in revenue, which does upset me ngl but 🤷🏾‍♀️ hey, can't hate the player hate the game right?

[dynamic-disordered-duo]

ADHD vs Autism alone with their thoughts:

[eldritcheyecryptid]

“Oh you have ADHD and possibly autism?? Your hyper-fixation must be frogs or animation!” 

no...my hyper-fixations are the Silence of The Lambs/Hannibal franchise, Better Call Saul, and paranormal/horror podcasts.