#adding here due to ao3 ddos attack

[charmandheaven]

Etchings On Palms (To Remember In The Next Life)

AN: you see, the title is ironic, because as gods, they’re outside the reincarnation cycle

[fic under cut]

The winds whispered, “What price are you willing to pay?”

“I am willing to pay with all the gold I have, if only Yin Yu could live again.”

The trees rustled, “What are you willing to give up?”

“I am willing to give up my life and my death, if only Yin Yu could live again.”

The river hissed, “What pain are you willing to endure?”

“I am willing to endure eternal suffering, if only Yin Yu could live again.”

The winds became so violent that the young god was forced to close his eyes and sink to his knees.

“We are kind, we will not ask this of you,” the winds sighed, a weary thing that laid sorrows upon his shoulder.

“We only ask for your memories of him, both good and bad, both new and old. It would be like he had never existed,” the trees murmured, a susurration that soothe his roiling emotions.

“This can not be reversed. Are you willing?” the river demanded, an undercurrent that threatened to drown him.

And what else could that young god have answered, but a small determined, “Yes.”

[line break]

Yin Yu woke up, breathing in with lungs he didn't know he still had. He sat up, with a body that was healthier than he had ever known it to be. He looked around, with eyes unused to such a thing.

He was in a replica of his old Yin Yu Palace, almost 200 years ago.

The last he remembered, he was supposed to be dead. (Dying for him, why is it even in his own death could he not avoid that person?!)

Yin Yu carefully touched his left arm with his right hand. It felt solid and warm. He brought two fingers to his temple and connected to Crimson Rain's personal array.

“Hua Chengzhu?”

“Huh, that brat actually managed to do it,” Hua Cheng drawled out.

Yin Yu closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. “Yes, it seems so.”

It was another thing he owed. He knew that Hua Cheng must have taught Quan Yizhen how to nurture souls, for who else knew how to do so? The only weird thing was that he didn't feel like a ghost. Did ghosts breathe when they first woke up? Could they feel their beating heart, beating faster and faster as they realised they couldn't move on, stuck in an eternal limbo?

A knock sounded, echoing throughout the room. “That must be him.”

But instead of the expected Quan Yizhen, it was Ling Wen, her eyebags as prominent as ever.

“Your Highness Ling Wen!”

“Congratulations. You have ascended for the second time.”

“Thank you.”

After Ling Wen informed him of his domains and duties, Yin Yu descended into Ghost City to visit his (former? present?) employer.

Hua Cheng confirmed his suspicions. “No, you aren't a ghost.” He looked slightly intrigued and impressed.

Ghosts could ascend, as the stories of Crimson Rain say, but this was different. Quan Yizhen had seemed to have done the impossible and made him alive proper.

Speaking of Quan Yizhen, Yin Yu had not yet seen even the slightest curl of hair from him and he would like to keep it that way.

He avoided Quan Yizhen as much as he could. It was a while before he found out it wasn't necessary.

[line break]

“Have you met up with Yin Yu?” Xie Lian asked when Quan Yizhen next came over. It was slightly disconcerting. Xie Lian was sure that Quan Yizhen would’ve been excited and distracted and happier now that Yin Yu was back and ascended. But instead, he didn’t really act any different, perhaps a little more calmer and self-assured.

The person in question tilted his head, looking up from where he was cutting up the radishes. “Who?” The tone was genuinely disinterested, his eyes betraying no deceit.

“Your shixiong?”

Quan Yizhen shook his head. “I don't know who you're talking about.”

Xie Lian was quiet before he decided to ask,“What do you remember before you became a god?”

“I was taken in a sect but I stayed as shizun’s personal disciple. I never interacted with anyone else but him.”

“Hmm.” Xie Lian stirred his pot thoughtfully and tasted it. Could have used a bit more salt. “Humour me. How did we meet?”

“At the mid-autumn banquet. You were nice.”

Was that enough? Surely there were many heavenly officials willing to be nice just to gain the favour of the Martial God of the West. He had seen that official trying to ingratiate himself to Yin Yu that tragic mid-autumn banquet long past. There must have been many more in the years since.

“You helped me. You cared. I may not remember for what but I know you are good.” He then went back to chopping, as if he didn’t say anything worth of notice.

It was something else to hear this from Quan Yizhen out of all people. He spoke his mind without censor and without any ulterior motives. He wasn’t involved in Xianle’s past; he only knew Xie Lian here and now and only for a short while in the grand scheme of things. Quan Yizhen truly believed in Xie Lian’s goodness for something he didn’t even remember nor interested in remembering. He was at peace; more at peace, Xie Lian suspected, than if he remembered who Yin Yu was and knew the latter was avoiding him.

And for that, Xie Lian was almost willing to leave this memory curse in place.

[line break]

“This is Yin Yu.”

This person didn’t look very impressive, shoulders hunched and eyes flittering around, as if trying to avoid looking at him.

Quan Yizhen didn’t know why Xie Lian wanted to introduce this person to him but he tried using his very best people skills, courtesy of Xie Lian’s teachings. “Hi.”

Yin Yu seemed to jolt, his head raising to stare at him. It was a while of Xie Lian’s smile slowly faltering before Yin Yu slumped and nodded back.

Xie Lian clapped his hands together. “Good, good. We all know each other now. Let’s go inside.”

Inside Puqi Shrine, they settled around the table, a tea service already set.

Xie Lian gestured at the teapot, staring at him. Quan Yizhen stared back blankly. Xie Lian did some gesture with his hands, one hand tilting up and down while the other curled to make a tube like shape. When that didn’t elicit anything, Xie Lian whispered, “Pour the tea.”

Quan Yizhen made a soft ‘oh’ sound before doing so, starting with Xie Lian’s. He then moved on to Yin Yu. The latter moved the cup away before he expected it so Quan Yizhen ended up accidentally pouring tea onto the table, which then splashed onto Yin Yu’s clothes. Quan Yizhen picked up a nearby towel and tried dabbing at the tea stains to dry off Yin Yu’s clothes. Tried, because he was stopped by a hand grasping his wrist.

“It’s fine,” Yin Yu said, before snapping his fingers. His clothes were instantly dried off, no spots of tea left.

Quan Yizhen was left feeling off-kiltered. He felt like he recognised those hands for some reason, like it once guided him into position almost daily. And his voice seemed to calm some jagged piece inside him that he didn’t even know was there.

“Qi Ying, you're crying?!” Xie Lian sounded panicked, coming closer to tug him away but he stayed firm.

“I'm crying?” Quan Yizhen reached up to touch his cheeks, shocked to find his fingers coming up wet. “I don't know why though, I'm not sad.”

But that was false. He felt something deep in his stomach, queasy and twisting. His heart felt heavy and an intense yearning rushed over him, telling him to never let go, that he'll never see him again. But not let go of what? Not see who again? Quan Yizhen didn't understand. He was sure he had never seen this person in his life.

“I should leave.” This Yin Yu person stood up before edging towards the exit.

Quan Yizhen wanted to argue, protest, stop him in some way, but nothing made sense. Why would he want that? His legs were shaky, like he couldn’t support himself anymore, so he dropped to floor and curled up, arms hugging his legs as he rested his chin on his knees. Tears were still streaming down his face.

Xie Lian sat beside him, his warm presence comforting him slightly. Quan Yizhen leaned in and closed his eyes, letting Xie Lian run his fingers through his hair and wondering if it was worth trying to find out what in the heavens was going on.

Inspired by this post (x)

qyz sacrifices his memories of yy to bring yy back postcanon. It’s truly a clean slate now - yy doesn’t have to worry about qyz annoying him anymore and qyz doesn’t have to feel indebted to someone who doesn’t like him; if they choose to have a relationship, it’s more equal now

[mithrilhearts]

My takeaway from the past 24+ hours...

There are so many of us that rely on ao3, whether you're a reader or writer. It brings us joy, it gives us an escape from the real world, and it lets us come together as a community to share stories and scenarios about our favorite fandoms and characters. The amount of posts I have seen on multiple platforms lamenting over the DDoS attacks is overwhelming - but with most of them comes a delightful cheer to the volunteers working to resolve this issue.

I've seen so many statements of praise for those volunteers, which is exactly what they deserve, and more. Can you imagine working for over 24 hours straight, on a volunteer basis, against something like this? They're the real MVPs, and I think our appreciation for them gets lost until moments like this rise.

With that said, here is my first real takeaway...

Don't bitch when ao3 does a donation drive. They work hard to keep the archive up and running, and with that costs money. Every server, every new addition or feature you want to see added to help make the site better, it costs money. The legal team that is defending fanfic authors??? MONEY. SO! DON'T! COMPLAIN!

I'm not saying you have to go out and donate your paycheck to ao3 - but I will say that, especially with this situation, if you can donate even a little bit to show your support, it means more than you probably realize, and even if you can't donate (which is totally okay), be kind to those who work on the archive. Send them kind words of encouragement, rather than flaming the archive because it's under attack - because yeah, I've seen people bitching AT ao3 for not working fast enough, or for it still being down. STOP IT.

My second takeaway...

Don't believe everything you see on the internet. Ao3 themselves have advised that the group claiming to take credit for this attack is to be treated with skepticism. And not only that, let's NOT automatically make assumptions about who is responsible just because of an organization's name. It's just a NAME, it doesn't identify a person's origin, background, etc. But I'm not here to dive into that much further. Point: I better not see any Sudanese hatred on my dash, or I will bite you.

My third takeaway...

Treat your fanfic writers with respect. We all now see first hand how much we depend on these stories. As I said above, for some it's an escape, a creative release, and a way to communicate with other people through similar interests. It's a beautiful creation, neither above nor below any other kind of literature.

Consider commenting, reblogging, kudos, anything you can to let the authors know you enjoyed and appreciate their works. Everyone is free to communicate in the way that suits them best, but every little bit is appreciated - as a fanfic writer myself, I can tell you that even a little heart emoji has made my day. It's like receiving a second kudos, and tells me that someone appreciated my efforts enough to give me a double thumbs up.

Any form of communication with the authors is appreciated. It lets them know that people are genuinely interested. We live in a world where INSTANT GRATIFICATION is taking over, but creations such as this take time. Talk with the authors, ask them about their wips, tell them they're doing a great job. Do NOT pester about "when are you updating next?" or the dreaded AI option - again, I will BITE PEOPLE if I see you doing this. Just...have some respect, show your appreciation, it's more than JUST FANFIC.

At the end of the day I guess this post is about being kind. Not pointing fingers or slandering people due to a name. It's about appreciating the things we do have, and not taking them for granted. Whether it's the brave cyber warriors currently fighting these DDoS attacks on the frontline, or the authors writing for not only their enjoyment, but for others too. Let's all respect one another, and show our support when and where we can.

HUGE THANK YOU TO THE VOLUNTEERS AT AO3, YOU ARE THE REAL MVPS!!!

[fiercynn]

otw's finances + questions for otw board meeting

okay i haven't been paying that much attention to ao3/otw stuff because i've been consumed with the fucking genocide israel is perpetrating on palestine, but i was thinking about otw and got mad all over again about them doing a fundraiser for money that they didn't need while that genocide is happening. and since there's an otw board meeting in about six hours (info here), which i can't make it to, i wanted to share some thoughts on otw's finances and questions people who do go to the meeting could pose, because i think both their finances and fundraising are pretty fucked up.

for context, @manogirl and i did a deep dive this summer on otw’s finances that i would really encourage you to read in full, but here’s are the key takeaways:

they have too much money: coming into 2023 they had more than $2.5 million USD in their “reserves”, which doesn’t include money that they had allocated to spend that year, just surplus

they always overshoot their fundraising targets: this is true both during their april and october fundraising drives, but also year-round since you can donate to become a member at any time

they have no concrete plans for the money: the vague plans they do have (hiring paid staff, investing it, etc) have been touted for years without any visible progress. and no, they do not need all of that money as an emergency fund or for legal costs (their legal services are mostly donated to them); please see the deep dive for a more detailed answers on that

they aren’t even earning interest on most of it: only $10,000 of it is in an interest-bearing account, meaning that in 2022 they only earned $90 interest on it. ninety dollars interest on two and a half million dollars in their accounts

so i think it’s safe to say that they don’t manage their money well.

then there’s the fact that because of the ddos attack this summer, they received a 35% bump in donations during that time compared to the same time the previous year. so when they announced their october 2023 drive, they said that because of the increase in donations, they were counting the numbers of members added instead of the dollars raised. except this isn’t a meaningful difference in what the fundraiser achieved: they still raised $192,743.11, which is four times what their targets have been in their fundraisers since 2021. and, if they truly wanted to add more members but didn’t want to raise money you didn’t need (and wouldn’t earn interest on!), they could have lowered membership dues, simultaneously making membership more accessible. this is a suggestion many people have given them over the years as well and that they do not seem to have ever entertained. and, again, they decided to a fundraiser they didn’t really need during the fucking horryifing genocide on palestinians.

and i think this matters because, while money alone cannot solve all the problems within the otw and ao3 (racism, mistreatment of volunteers including volunteers of color, the financial mismanagement in itself), it certainly could help, and the line often used to obstruct any kind of change at the org is “otw is just a scrappy all-volunteer org! they can’t be responsible for all this!” they could, you know, use that $2.5 million dollars to make themselves a little less scrappy? but they have not done so.

the other thing is that the otw finance committee is supposed to hold a yearly public meeting in the fall. last year’s was in october, but there's been no announcement of a meeting this year. the otw finance committee (like many otw committees) also asks you to contact them solely through the contact us form on the otw website. i personally wrote to the otw finance committee through that form on may 11, 2023 to ask for clarification on the amount of their reserves, and have not yet gotten a response. it is november.

with all that in mind, here are some questions that you could pose to the otw board at the meeting:

why did they run a fundraiser during an active genocide when they didn't need the money?

if their intention with their october 2023 fundraiser was simply to increase membership but not to generate more revenue, why didn't they lower membership dues so that membership is more accessible AND they are not collecting donations they don't need?

why has the otw finance committee not held its yearly public meeting yet, and when will it be?

why has neither their 2022 audited financial statement nor their 2022 form 990 been posted on their website yet, and when will they be posted?

how much total money do they have in their accounts right now?

have they invested at least 25% of their reserves yet, as they’ve been saying they will since at least 2021, and if not, what is the hold-up and when do they expect to do it?

have they appointed a volunteer paid staff officer to research options for hiring paid staff yet?

if any of the questions are confusing to you and you want more clarification, feel free to reply to ask!

also: FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸