#actually ok after some days the first one is funny but kinda weak

[hyatoro]

Sinbad Sub Headcanons

Sinbad

Part 2 of a request. You can find Kouen’s part here. 

SFW

Sinbad is a generous lover but because of everything that’s happened to him you can tell it’s all very surface level. Sure he can get up in people’s spaces and charm their pants off with his natural and hard earned charisma, but when it comes to his genuine relationships (as like a person) the ones that know him best have stuck with him even after seeing his ugly sides. 

How he loves and lets himself be loved can vary depending on what phase of Sinbad we’re talking about, but I’ll be sticking with the Sinbad we meet in early Magi. Not his prequel, and not late game Sinbad, though those are all sides of him. He is very welcome to public displays of affection, especially during festivals, but he hopes that his partner understands time and place, like when he has important meetings to arrange business deals. 

In contrast to Kouen, you wouldn’t need to be necessarily on his level djinn-wise. He just needs someone with a strong will to reign him in. He’s not as concerned about marrying another position of power. You’d likely still be somewhat of a power couple, since everyone he keeps around him is useful in one way or another. If we’re talking about having a relationship that has dom/sub stuff happening, then yeah. If he went to some red-light district and got dominated that’d be more a one time thing.

Your characterization is more open ended. As long as you find a way to make conversation with him and prove yourself, then you’re in. It’ll start as a fascination, and then evolve into an infatuation. Which honestly, he’d lie to himself about it because he doesn’t actually want to get distracted from his goals, which is what he thinks of it at the beginning. A distraction. Then he convinces himself that because you’re such a useful person that he’s just getting close to you to keep you in his arsenal. But then eventually he’d fold and admit that he’s weak for you. 

NSFW

Maybe he finally spills the beans when you corner him about why he’s been so annoying. “Why did you schedule me for so many meetings? All of which actually already have you in them so I don’t know why you would need me there.” 

Nervous sweating. “UH-”

He’s been in this wild mental state of “God she’s so hot and amazing and I’d be ok if she slapped me man i wish she would lol wouldn't that be funny” and “Haha eyes on the prize. Wake up and grind king.” 

So when you have him pushed up against a wall he’s frozen. And you already know he’s more than capable of just bolting if he wanted to. Then you realize exactly what weird emotions he’s feeling so you make the first move. 

A knowing look crosses your face and he gulps as you lean closer. You’re bent so that you’re looking up at him and he’s frozen like prey caught by a predator. And it’s kinda nice. 

You grab him by the collar of his shirt and whisk him away, and he can’t help but follow. Tired of dealing with his mental dilemma he surrendered the decision, the control, to you. 

As seen in my bondage headcanon for him, he needs a lot of trust. And that applies to all of this really. You may point out that dom/sub relationships need that in the first place. You’d be surprised. 

Of course he gives off his authoritative aura that exudes leadership, but he’s also just a silly goofy man sometimes. So it’s much easier to reign him in and transition to that dom/sub dynamic whenever, as opposed to Kouen where he has a hard line between private and public. 

Sinbad is down to get messy anywhere. 

Does not like choking. Is okay with gags if he’s not tied up. Basically if you want to tie him up you have to be thorough in making sure he’s comfortable. He doesn’t like anything around his neck like a collar or a choker because of his slave days. 

He likes edging and overstimulation. Testing his will and stamina gets him going and you can easily make him go crazy with little effort, or a lot. 

Kind of a masochist so he likes pain, but not to the point where you’re like actively trying to cause damage. It’s not like he hasn’t had worse but he doesn’t think getting beat is sexy. Spanking, pinching, slapping is all good. 

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 7: Introducing Sparks (Those Mysteries)

The big nagging question that appeared in my mind right after having my first listen of this album, earlier this year on a particularly beautiful and sunny spring day, was "so THIS is one of the weak ones???". Because seriously, this album has it all: the Sparks spirit on full display, the humour, the FUN, the lyrical wit, incredibly catchy melodies, fun and lush instrumentation... It even feels like a bit of a return to the glam era, even if in a slightly different form.

I want to get to the bottom of what makes the humour on this album work especially... I think it's truly one of its strongest sides. There's a bunch of other albums to come later that could also be considered some of the more comedic ones, and I think it's always a pretty similar element connecting it all... What is it? Well, it must just be... one of Those Mysteries. But ok, let's at least give this a try.

Lots of elements here are quite, let's call it, cheesy on surface: the seriousness with which all the different Occupations are treated, the "aAaAAAA" backup vocals on Ladies, the bridge (and, honestly, everything else too) of Forever Young, the high stakes of Goofing Off, the melodrama of Those Mysteries... Maybe it's the knowledge that it's Sparks that lets one see past this "facade". Maybe someone uninitiated could think that this is all just played straight. Or would it become too obvious for anyone to be fooled by the time we get to Goofing Off? And is there anything to be fooled about anyways...?

Because yeah, these songs are funny and poke fun at things, but without veering into actual parody teritory. I've been thinking about a very similar thing with They Might Be Giants, who also use a lot of humour in their music but are NOT a comedic / parody act (...despite seemingly every music reviewer being convinced of the opposite). Maybe it's the devotion and respect with which they both treat their art and audiences: the subject matter might be funny, but that doesn't mean that what they do can be condensed to just some joke (which is, again, lost on some reviewers). So, well, there's definitely a lot more to get into in regards to this topic and more opportunities to do that soon with later albums, so, stay tuned, maybe?

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

They're all so good... And this is yet another Sparks album that I think just flows super well and all the songs make a magnificent whole. But still, here are some personal highlights.

Occupation: literally one of the catchiest songs in existence, it tormented me for days if not weeks on end back in the day. The flow of "You need an-ah, You need an-ah, You need an Occupation" is incredibly good

Ladies: like I described earlier... it's just so funny

I'm Not: beaten by maybe one other song for the spot of THE #1 song that I was unable to stop listening to over and over right after hearing the album it's from

Goofing Off: ok, THIS one's the funniest. And the guitar solo has no right to go as hard as it does

Girls On The Brain: Ron writes about a brother who's "kinda thick" and hands the song to his brother to sing. Ok!!

Those Mysteries: only Sparks could make a song as solemn and sentimental sounding as this that I'm actually a huge fan of

[sibylsleaves]

I love when people are like I love defend in place! I love may day!! And then Im just like yay two of the only episodes of 911 Ive never watched and everyone loves them …. And I love boston… episode of all time to me… I literally was sticking with s5 for the madney reunion and stopped watching after that… so what am I missing out on … (ive seen 5x13 and like half of 5x17 but everything else is kinda a mystery to me. Except the buddie scenes in 5x14 and some of the bobby stuff in 5x18)

anon im sorry it took me like 3 days to answer this but ok. May Day and Defend in Place.

Both episodes are like really excellent stand-alone single-disaster episodes where the stakes feel super high and the peril is actually exciting. Both episodes also feature fires which, in a show about firefighters you wouldn't think would be a rarity but it actually is and idk i appreciate it because i think fires are scary!!!!!!

So I'll start with Defend in Place. from a character perspective I love this episode because it gives us 1) Ravi lore, which until this episode was thin on the ground. it also gives us 2) Michael-Bobby-David dynamic which, if you've seen me post about There Goes the Neighborhood you will understand I am very weak for. And the dynamic for the three of them in this episode is SOOOOOO good. It's also I believe the last episode Michael is in, which is sad, but it's as good a send off for the character as they could've managed under the circumstances. Michael Grant was one of the best characters on the show, especially given he was the ONLY non-first responder series regulars. his chemistry with angela and peter is really incredible and i love his relationship with David (which is very much spotlighted in this ep)...anyway this wasn't supposed to turn into an essay about Michael but he is a big reason why I love this episode so much. There is also just a lot of pathos and like, people coming together and loving each other and caring about each other in really beautiful ways. I won't spoil anything in particular but there's a particular scene with Athena and Michael in the hospital parking lot that ALWAYS gets me. there's also a good buddie side-plot that involves babies and I'm always pro buddie + babies.

OK NOW MAY DAY. May Day, again--single disaster stand alone episode that utilizes the main cast INCREDIBLY well. We get a lot of focus on Eddie since the disaster takes place at Dispatch, as well as May and Bobby's relationship, which is also really special to me (i am a real sucker for like the beauty and love of blended families which I think 911 illustrated really well with the Grant-Nash family and something i do kinda miss about the show now that Michael is gone and May and Harry are around less.) Again, a good buddie subplot where we get to see Eddie back in action after a half-season of him being side-lined (in terms of the action, he obviously got a lot of screentime). also some good stuff for Chim. and josh actually (maybe?) gets a boyfriend.

there's also a scene at the end where they're trying to like shoe-horn in some relationship drama for Buck and Taylor but the way the scene plays out is so unintentionally funny because Buck is just like. not at all caring about whats going on because he's standing next to Eddie. Overall just a really good episode of like, the 118 in action and working all together which, again, we'd just gone through like a half a season without. So. everyone give it up for May Day!!!!!

[lukefonfabre]

kamen rider REVIEW!!!

i was gonna do this on twitter but twitter is dead now. anyway i decided when i finished ryuki i would review every kr i’ve watched so far so here it is. no spoilers (i think) but it is fucking long. 

build - i can’t believe it’s been 5 years since i watched build… i miss her so bad every day… but also build had a lot things that i couldn’t stand. however the yaoi was really fucking good. also build is pretty strong overall despite it all. we need that energy back for kamen rider so bad but all they do now is try to sell toys. i really like sento as a protagonist because he’s so funny and quirky but also not like the usual kr protagonist who is stupid. i mean he is still stupid but in a different way. banjou is more like the protagonist type but he is actually just sento’s boyfriend. love wins. my thing about build is that i didnt care about kazumi or gentoku or katsuragi or any of the other men (evolt can stay #sexy). so sometimes i was sitting there like oh my god. enough. also the way they nerfed sawa and misora pissed me off. but that final episode hit hard enough that i forgave all the shit the last 10 or so episodes put me through. which is true of a lot of kamen riders like if they hit that ending it’s like all is forgiven baby!!! but anyway i love build. i miss her. i love her. 

ooo - i got so obsessed with ooo that 5 years ago i was in a college english class and they asked me what my favorite tv show was and i said kamen rider ooo. right there in front of everyone. ms. kobayashi really got me with that one! everyone has already said this but the relationship between ankh and eiji is so interesting both on a yaoi level and a psychological level… the human won’t let himself want anything and the monster whose existence is all about wanting things. and they’re in love. wow! the whole ooo cast is great though and i think it’s so cute that the actors still interact 10+ years later. i love hina so much… i love gotou and date and satonaka. i miss them. i’m sorry that ooo 10th was like that but i will forgive them. i guess. i think ooo’s one weakness is that the monster of the week episodes were kinda boring. like bro i don’t care about this guy getting back into wrestling what about ankh’s existential crisis!!!! but it’s ok we all have our flaws. i love you ooo. 

ex-aid - i THINK i watched ex-aid after ooo but honestly i don’t remember? wild that i went from ooo to ex-aid actually. ex-aid is a deeply controversial work because it sucks so bad but it’s also really fucking funny. but also sometimes it really is unwatchable like i tried to watch a couple of the first few episodes with eri and i was like this is horrible i’m being tortured but then when i think about parad i get hysterical. the duality of ex-aid. I think a lot of ex-aid is not very good. and yet it has something… some kind of power that makes me tell people to watch it and then they’re like this sucks and i’m like yeah! (this has happened 2 times.) but i do like ex-aid despite the fact that it’s really loud and annoying and the camera angles are weird and the belt noises are insufferable. it’s funny. i think the idea of gamer doctors fighting to the death(?) is hilarious. it definitely impacted me that’s for sure. there’ll never be another one like it… despite takahashi doing multiple krs since then (mistake). ex-aid is the demon that haunts me.

w - i think i’ve actually forgotten a good chunk of what actually happened in w but it was good. it was solid. philip and shotaro and akiko found family baby!!! and w made me tolerate a cop so that’s something. i really have nothing else to say here. ok actually w totally fell apart when it killed off the sonozakis and brought in that weird-ass doctor and that random villain who showed up at the end but philip and shotaro carried it… for me. and akiko of course she was everything to me. also again the final episode made me forgive everything because it was like they’re reunited!!! (sobbing and screaming and crying) 

fourze - for a while i didn’t hype up fourze that much because of the american high school aesthetic, which is actually really funny but not exactly my taste. but gentaro truly is a wonderful good boy. he loves his friends PERIOD. also ryusei was really funny because everyone else was like some kind of american teen drama trope (the goth girl, the jock, the cheerleader, etc.) and then there was ryusei who was like two-faced bitch alert! i love that. also kengo and gentaro were in love so there was #yaoi. that one episode where kengo was mad bc ryusei and gentaro were getting along and he was so jealous i cried. i would give anything for another kr as good as fourze tbh. 

den-o - when i first started kamen rider i was like i’m not watching that old shit (pre-neo heisei) but then i was like ok i will give den-o a chance because it was written by ms. kobayashi… and it was good. it was really fucking good. like there’s not a lot of crazy shit it’s mostly just funny shenanigans with the imagins and ryoutarou’s hard knock life but you still feel emotional about it all… ms. kobayashi’s genius. her range. even though the plot makes absolutely no fucking sense i think it’s fine. it’s about the feelings. the bonds. and also trains. 

ryuki - so after not watching kamen rider for 4-5 years i started watching ryuki with lain because they put it on tokushoutsu. and wow was i not prepared for whatever that was! i don’t think there is a way to prepare yourself for ryuki actually. but i will say that ms. kobayashi once again impacted me with her talent. her ability to create so many weird and mentally ill men… i’m obsessed. also i love shinji so much he is just an silly little dogboy who is being forced to confront the trolley problem and also fight to the death. why did she do all that to him? also why did she give kitaoka a beautiful and perfect malewife? why did she make asakura so sexy? why did she make tojo like that? why can’t ren be nice to shinji just a little? i have a lot of questions and no answers. there was never a dull moment with ryuki bc there was always some shit going on. every single guy was fascinating except the ones that were meant to be annoying as hell. and the ensemble cast of yui and ore journal and aunt sanako… love them. they are all so funny and iconic. i wish i could say more but i would spoil it. ms. kobayashi’s wild ride. as you can see ryuki has left me incoherent. i will not recover from what ryuki did to me. gen urobuchi you will never be her. 

blade - i started watching blade while also watching ryuki to prevent myself from looking up spoilers but it didn’t work. anyway the point is i watched all of blade while also watching ryuki with lain. it was interesting to watch them at the same time bc toward the end blade started copying ryuki so hard with the battle royale shit it was like ok girl i guess! blade is interesting bc a lot of krs have a strong start and then go off the fucking rails but blade is the opposite. it starts off like what the fuck is all this now then at the very end it’s like ohhh it’s about how the love was there all along. bring out the yaoi. i think at least 30 episodes of blade are complete nonsense like you will be sitting there like um okay i guess? but it’s worth it for the shakespearean gay tragedy of kenzaki/hajime. i can’t say i really liked mutsuki or tachibana but toward the end i started finding them really funny like i couldn’t really be mad because tachibana is so pathetic you just have to chuckle and mutuski has teenager disease. although it was tiring watching them both be assholes to their beautiful girlfriends for so long like ok can we get back to how in love kenzaki is with hajime PLEASE. but oh well. we can’t have everything!

if you actually read all of this thank you. i have so much to say and yet my brain is very small… i will continue making my poor quality videos to show my respect however. kamen rider the world. 

[littlexscarletxwitch]

ok so, you've seen black widow, so you understand the sleeper agent type of stuff where families are agents.

ok so YELENA BELOVA is seemingly a soft wife and momma, untill... UNTILL a new girl moves into town, she's solo other than her 2 pets, she's got a routine. Walk around the neighborhood every morning with her dog, go to the cafe, go home and work on her online school bc college girl right. Yelena has a husband and a "kid" but looks at this college girl and just....Wants her. yknow. Yelena starts going on morning walks and to the cafe and she watches this girl in a non creepy way. one day the girl Doesn't go on her morning walk so Yelena gets worried, she goes over to knock on the door then hears moaning and screaming and squealing and Yelena gets wet listening. she stands there for a bit and eventually the girl inside finishes....her cum fest and Yelena runs back home to watch the girl finally come out and go on her morning walk...now afternoon walk. now Yelena knows the girl isnt....."innocent" so she feels less bad for her plans.

(planss are to seduce the poor girl and make her sub for her bc surprise surprise Yelena is a domme mommy with a big strap collection and a box of toys (do with that what you will) annnndd lots of stamina bc red room training is crazy)

so some extra ideas maybe

1. several straps, several vibrators, wand vibrators, gspot vibrators, clit sucker/vibrators, nipple toys, spredder bars/restraints.

2. the girl is a squirter and the like, the first time it happens Yelena is just like... well....idk something funny and the girl laughs and Yelena just has a cheeky smile

3. the girl has never been tied down, had her gspot stimulated, been eaten out so she kinda is "innocent" compared to Yelena and Yelena teases her in a cute "little girl" kinda way

4. the domme Mommy Yelena comes out to play towards the end after the girl has been overstimulated and is limp and her headspace is switched but Yelena has a double ended dildo and she gets off that way...and then

5. Yelena cuddles her afterwards and kinda sings to her and kisses her forehead and wonders what she could have If she and the girl ran away from Yelena's sleeper agent lifestyle

(omg it all fit in one ask, ok soooo here ya go)

*excited horny girl dance*

-💦🍯

I-

I just-

Daaaaamn, honey! 😫

You are definitely onto something here

Okey, but Yelena would definitely rail the fuck out of you until you are crying, begging her to stop (not that you actually want to, but you feel like she's going to break your poor little body in two if you don't stop her). But later on, once she's done with you, once she had tasted every inch of your body, once she had made you cum so many times you can no longer feel your legs, once she has you shaking and all weak, she WOULD SO CUDDLE YOU. And tell you what a good girl you were for her, and how perfect you were, and how she just needs you for the rest of her life or else, she might die without you

Yelena is so hot 🫠🫠

UPDATE: fic based on this has been posted <3

[adamwatchesmovies]

Dark Shadows (2012)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Dark Shadows shows promise at first, with tried-and-true but effective “fish out of water” humour. From there, the plot gets progressively unsure of where it wants to go, until it starts throwing stuff at the screen haphazardly. I don’t know if anyone could’ve salvaged a workable film from the woeful screenplay by Seth Grahame-Smith but director Tim Burton doesn’t seem to be trying very hard.

In 1760, Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) breaks the heart of his servant, Angelique (Eva Green). After she uses dark magic to kill Barnabas' fiancée (Bella Heathcote) she transform him into a vampire - so that he will outlive anyone he ever loves. Soon after, he is captured by villagers and buried "alive" in a coffin. Escaping from his prison in 1972, Barnabas finds his descendants in financial ruin, his beloved reincarnated as their new nanny (Bella Heathcote as Victoria), and Angelique still alive and still obsessed with him.

After the fact, it’s obvious Barnabas is the film’s main character. While watching, it isn’t so clear. You think Victoria will be a major player but she’s an afterthought with no personality. Most of the character feel like director Tim Burton self-indulging a little by tossing a bone to his favourite performers (Christopher Lee has a minor role which can’t have taken more than a day to shoot) or like inclusions put there just because they had an equivalent in the original 1966 television series. The film lasts nearly two hours. If you cut out Helena Bonham Carter as the Collins family doctor who does very little doctoring, the kinda-sorta misfit son David (Gully McGrath), his ne’er-do-well father (Johnny Lee Miller), the rebellious teenage daughter (Chloë Grace Moretz), the elderly maid (Ray Shirley) and the drunken groundskeeper (Jackie Earle Haley), you probably wouldn’t have more than 40-minutes’ worth of a movie. That’s not much but it’d be tighter, focussed and more enjoyable. None of these people have anything to do, and the less said about Alice Cooper’s cameo as himself, the better.

It feels like a bad soap opera that’s being made-up on the spot. Stuff just happens and sure, sometimes it’s funny but nothing’s building up to anything bigger. Now Dr. Hoffman is seducing Barnabas. Ok? Why? So we can cement that everyone finds Johnny Depp in vampire makeup irresistible? I guess that’s a thing but I don’t really get it.

Then, finally, a facsimile of a plot rears its ugly head. Ah! So the film is about Angelique and Barnabas’ rivalry. Wait. She waited 200 years for him to escape from the box she buried him in and in the meantime, she’s been using her fishing business to drive the Collins out of house and home? What a lame way to use your magic powers. It all builds to a lacklustre conclusion in which people are thrown around by magic. I think we’re supposed to feel upset about doomed romances and people caught between two irreconcilable worlds but so little time has been spent fleshing out the mushy stuff you just don’t care.

As an 18th-century vampire struggling to keep up with “modern” technology and sensibilities, Johnny Depp does well. He delivers all of the film’s best moments and yeah, some of it you’ve seen before but it’s still effective. The costumes, sets and art direction are also quite good so visually, Dark Shadows is pleasant to look at - especially when Eva Green is seducing Barnabas. Just about everything else is cringe-inducing and tone-deaf. Sexy as she may look, Green is terrible in this role and I can’t even blame her. No one shines thanks to the weak screenplay and scatterbrained direction torn between drama, horror and comedy. I nearly completely forgot about Michelle Pfeiffer, which is too bad because her character actually contributes something of value to the story.

The first time I saw Dark Shadows, I didn’t love it but found things to enjoy and gave it a mildly positive review. Re-examining it now, 3 stars seems way too generous. Although never awful, Dark Shadows doesn't give you many reasons to watch it. (April 5, 2019)

[tigermousse]

Valentines Otome

genre: otome, romance, drama, mystery, stat-raising

Prequel: Halloween Otome Sequel: Christmas Otome

The second game in the Holiday Otome series by Synokoria is about Mira, outgoing and independent young lady, the best friend of Emma Cee (protagonist of Halloween Otome). Mira doesn't want to commit herself to one man. She loves flirting and prefer one-night-stands to serious relationship. Also she's a terrible cook and doesn't consider herself as a wife material. But next day after Valentines Day, when she takes her best friend and her cousin to the nightclub, she wakes up the with a hangover…and a ring on her finger. It appears that yesterday she has married one of the guys she met in a club. And now to save his reputation they need to pretend that they're newly married couple, so they have to live together for at least six month. But maybe in the end would be no need for the divorce? Could Mira develop real feelings for her husband during these 6 month?

OK, first of all I'm not OK with this accidental marriage thing. It is strange and unrealistic (at least one of four other people should have talked their drunken friends out of this marriage) - and also sudden moving in together with a complete stranger should be suffocating.

But we could pretend it is kinda like an arrangement marriage in an older times.

Also for Mira it works pretty fine, despite the fact that keeping the facade of this fake marriage actually doesn't give any benefits to her. She is in fact extremely kind person, because she wants to make everyone's life better. And she seems managing this relationship pretty fine for someone who hasn't relationships longer than "a series of one-night-stands" since high school.

The game has stat-raising system, that means that to unlock the best ending, or some events during the route of your choosing, you need to raise some stats high enough (or sometimes not raise it high enough)

Also the scenarios for routes slightly differ depending on which guy Emma ended up with in Halloween Otome (you can choose it on the beginning, basically you can choose different boyfriends for each route).

In this VN Emma's relationship with her boyfriend is also deepening, so there would be extra scenes with Erik, Tyler or Landon from the Halloween Otome (which is one of my favorite parts of the game!) I love that VN is a part of the series, it is so nice to meet old friends among the way. The other thing that I adore - is that how precious is the friendship between side and main characters.

CHARACTERS:

Mira (Miranda Cosgrove) is an unusual protagonist for otome VNs, because she's the opposite of shy, sexually experienced and has a fear of commitement. Traits: fun-loving, sassy, flirty, honest, smart, independent, kind. Occupation: designer and the owner of a fashion boutique. Fashion is basically her passion and her profession Hobbies: celebrity gossip, soap operas, romantic literature, clubbing, sex Talents: charm, design Fetishes: glasses Weak points: cooking Likes: penguins, making guys squirm Dislikes: taking money from other people I found it hard to relate to Mira despite the fact that we actually have pretty much in common, but she makes a great protagonist.

My rating: 5/5

Love interests (MILD SPOILERS AHEAD):

As suggested by creators, they have to be chosen in the Zane-Kiron-Daire order.

Zane

If he wasn't described as a playboy from the beginning of the game, I would say that Zane is your common cute, but moody guy-next-door, who doesn't care about his attitude, loves games, cat's videos and writing children books.

He has the same commitment issues as Mira, which they actually overcome together. His path is less dramatic than others, but the most romantic, with funny and cute moments.

My rating: 5/5

Kiron

Kiron is a school teacher (he was teaching Mira's cousin Maia). He is very kind, caring, also old-fashioned and polite. Actually he also dreams of having a family. But the problem is that he is in love with his colleague Annabelle, who sees him only as a friend. That path was the most dramatic, alas, the romance between characters wasn't so obvious until the very ending, which is, by the way, VERY good, and made me cry.

My rating: 5/5

Daire

Daire is that strong silent type, which in this VN was brought to the absurdity and he turned out too boring. However Daire's route has a lot of other colorful characters, who do all the talking for him - and sometimes it was overwhelming. Earlier I've made a mistake starting with Daire route, was bored out of my mind after several weeks of stat-raising, and forgot about this VN for several years.

My rating: 2/5

Overall:

Originality: 4/5

Graphic: 4/5

Story: 4/5

Characters: 5/5

Romance: 4/5

My Rating: 4/5

The game is free, you can get it from itch.io

[imnotreal-png]

>:) -- Entry 1

OK i just smoked a joint after i wrote the date and now im kinda chillin but imma still yap on dis hoe.

I am a loser. Like a huge loser, okay? Like im not dumb or wtv, i may have reached a weird and insane level of self awareness, but im just as much of a loser as anyone else.

I keep catching myself trying to people please and overstepping my boundaries and justifying it with "oh everyone else does it, so what, its normal" like ok dumb bitch that doesn't make it okay, get a grip.

But i will be yapping away abt alot of stupid bullshit i deal with and stupid things make me sad. I am very well aware that I am irrational, but these are things i feel in those moments that i always hold in because i don't want people 2 see that weak side of me. It's embarrassing and it's not me.

In truth, i have nooo idea what i'm doing. I have 0 clue on where i'll be in the future. I didn't think i'd make it this far and not on some suicidal shit (idk if u can say that word here, oops.), i just genuinely thought that i'd somehow perish?? Like i wasn't really real in some weird way. I just didn't exist. Even though i was always the center of drama or the cause of all things chaotic, i was always misunderstood. god that's so fucking cringe but hear me out.

I always said shit that i believed was clear enough to be understood and yet it wasn't. Even my tone apparently has been rude this entire time. But no one would actually tell me how i come off, they just ate it up in silence and then spaz on me. Even now i don't really understand because i truly believe i am very clear on what im saying. Yet it's still...not seen the way im trying to show it? Idk if im making any sense bruh but whatever. Maybe im narcissistic but no one understands my brain the way i attempt to express it...or i guess how i see it. Idk i guess im just frustrated that no one understands me or gets my brain.

Also it's super cringe when people tell me im mature for my age. Literally eat my shit. actual ick. get away from me.

I hate my mom. She hates me too but she hates me bc I'm not the pussy she wishes she was when she was my age. She's the most childish person i know. I genuinely do not care what she thinks of me whatsoever. She's just power hungry and immature. Actually, I don't even hate her, i just hate that she gets to have all this power over me. I just want my freedom, thats it. She can hate my lifestyle or whatever the fuck, as long as im not living with her. At the end of the day, im truly content with who i am as a person and my moral compass etc, she cant affect that. I just need to have my own space and leave her household to finally be free and actually experience life in a comfortable and more peaceful way. I guess that's all i can say rn. I just wish she would respect my boundaries and stop treating me like im her competition and she'll always be superior. She won't and i cannot wait for the day she finally see's that lol.

!! super irrational moment alert !!

LMAO this is super cringe but like when i started music i put "listen 2 my moozik" in my bio bc we say muzik in albanian but americans wud have 2 read it as moozik to get it right + its funny? Ever since i started rlly getting exposure and performing out there, all these NON SLAVS/BALKANS have started putting it in their bio's 🙄 like be fr, its sooo obvious (at least to me). And now some of these mfs i've interacted w startes stealing my lingo and the way i type [this isn't how i type when i txt friends. its worse and i shorten everything in a miserable way cuz its funny] and it's cute at first but now mfs on social media posting the way i do and talking the way i do. [insert side eye bc yeah] and it's kinda cringe cuz they're actually rlly shallow and mainstream people, they just look like they trying 2 hard to be quirky. lol.

im probably tweakin tho idk.

i wish i grew up with art. i wish my parents had that and were able to introduce it to me. I feel like a fraud when i try to be creative and do things. Even with making music. As much as i enjoy it and love it and it really does make me happy, it feels fake. I can't play any instruments, i can't sing, im far from a good writer, fuck if know anything abt music theory...i literally just click buttons and make sounds on my computer lol. I didn't grow up indulging in art and creativity, i was actually always super bad at it. I wish i had a deeper connection with it. I wish i understood it better. I wish i expressed it better. I wish my ideas were my own. I want to be able to create something that is truly mine without feeling like im a fake.

UHHHH so imma just come on here and vent whenever i feel like i have something i need 2 say. This is intended for the void, if u come across it...cringe.

[primalspice]

Faust: A1, A4, A8, A11, A19, A24, B4, B8, B12, C5, C8, D4, E2, E3, E8, F1, F6, F8, G3, G4, H2, H5, H6, I1, I4, J4, J5, L1, L9

Faust

A1: What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

Whatever an annoying one is LOL I think he could be an ENTP like Ruby but he's a little more emotionally/irrationally driven I think (it's perfectly rational to him, tho). I got ENTJ when I took the quiz for him. Sounds about right.

A4: Are they a pessimist or an optimist?

I think he wants to be optimistic and he does come off that way (he's confident that positive change will happen, he lives like he has many things to look forward to, he lives like he's NOT at death's door and does not even believe that he is), but I'd say he's jaded nowadays at the very least. Thinking that the only way to fix things is to destroy everything first, for example, would be viewed by most as a pessimistic worst-case scenario. He thinks its ok tho.

A18: What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?

Even though he's very social I think his patience runs short when his Perfectly Planned Alone Time is interrupted or when people become too nosy in regards to what he's up to. Side effects of putting on a front the other 95% of the time. PLEASE he needs time to BROOD AND SCHEME in PEACE.

A24: What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

I think he's struggling most at coping with his declining health and coping with the loss of his sister and the life they used to have. On the outside he kinda looks like he has this perfect life (as perfect as it can get in Region 0, he's the president after all. He LOOKS like he's thriving despite his sicklyness) but it's been full off horrors for the last 3 years or so and he refuses to talk to anyone about it because he knows no one will get it and he doesn't want to seem weak (physically or mentally). He doesn't know how to deal with the loss of all these things and doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he kinda brought it upon himself by coming here on a whim so he finds ways to blame it on anything else. Bad luck, Harvey, the Region At Large…… He's not entirely wrong but he's also not entirely right LMAOO. He kinda gained a Vague sense of fulfillment and power that he yearned for during his pre-regionzero crisis, but lost….everything else LOL. He's not trying to overcome shit because he thinks (KNOWS) he's right. He does feel less panicked though, now that he has a plan.

B4: Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip?

OF COURSE he tips well he's a classy man. He'd never not tip but he'd definitely leave a passive aggressive note or a bit less than 20% if service wasn't up to his standards. Honestly though I think it's one of the things hes pretty laid back about.

B8: Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?

I think he's funny in a everyone-politely-laughs-at-your-joke-at-a-party way so like. Not extremely but he can get a laugh out of people LOL. I dont think 'funny' is one of the first things he considers himself but he at least believes himself to have a sense of humor. People also think his Canadianisms are funny but that's not on purpose :,3

B12: Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?

He says smiles Excuse Me ma'am/sir it looks like there's been a mistake on my order, I actually ordered (xyz) :) OH no worries take your time. I actually used to work at my family's restaurant back in the day, I completely understanflkfhkjhfdkjghkdjfhgkjdfhfdkj

C5: Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

I think it's more that he never had suuuuper great morals to begin with (ok with lying to people if it helps the situation, ok with Getting Even, etc) but yeah I think he's more willing to use this for evil when he's feeling hateful towards soooomeone...... I think the questionable morals have always existed, they've just been somewhat neutral/useful in a lot of situations. he Is a politician after all.

C8: Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

I think his moral expectations of others are relatively practical and loose and I think thats why he can get along with so many people. He doesn't particularly approve of MANY things but he understands it and is somewhat choosey about what he actually voices. he DOES have outrageous unrealistic expectations as to how people should act though. Never consistently/based on morals, more just based on what he thinks would yield the best result . Pisses him off so bad.

D4: Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?

he would LOVE to be immortal he is so afraid of dying and being dead and not being able to annoy anyone on an earthly plane. No question about it. He's got too much shit to do and too many people to see.

E2: Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)

I had to google this but i think linguistic and interpersonal would certainly be his strongest. He's great with people and knows how to talk to them. He's not very much a stem-y guy so maybe logic-math would be his weakest.

E3: How many languages do they speak?

He's only fluent in English but canadianisms dictate that he knows a basic conversational amount of french as well.

E8: What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

I think his biggest regret is coming to Region 0 with ivy LOL. he believes it to be the root of all his issues and hes like 95% correct. its a huge regret, but to make up for it he has very few Smaller regrets <3

F1: What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?

I think that prezzys get to reside in the capital building but I havent actually confirmed that.....but yeah he lives in the Office i guess its like the white house but Not. Prior to that he lived in his very own government-official house, which was honestly preferable to living in such a public spot but he deals with it for the fame <3 and then prior to that he lived with Ivy in their little house, maybe he had one more apartment or somethin in between living with her and getting a major gov job......

F6: How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?

as a Public Figure hes kinda always on the clock in a way but i think his actual office work is like a normal average 40 hours. quite tame for a Region Zeroite. As the president he does.....whatever he wants :) he's quite ambitious he's very interested in interacting with the public and making policy. He was quite public-facing at his prior gov jobs as well so he's Used To It. he does enjoy a lot it hes a freakish Job Enjoyer.

F8: How often are they home?

not very often nowadays due to his harvey harassment field trips <3 but he likes to make it home by nighttime regardless. Aforementioned brooding-scheming-alone time ofc.....

G3: Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?

He has Feelings about that. He doesn't feel necessarily hated or anything but he does feel a bit like the cringefail twin in comparison to Ivy. she doesnt really do anything to make him feel better about it either even tho thats not her job. He's kinda competitive and its really hard to beat like. Perfect Angel Doctor Twin. HE feels less liked due to that but i dont think he actually is. As for if he finds ivy supportive during Region 0 Times, no of course not and she Isnt but i guess the time where he could actually be upset about that has passed. if she chooses not to hear him out about his plan to make them an epic life then that is her problem <3

G4: What kind of childhood did your OC have?

his childhood was tragically normal and happy. middle-class family, good relationship with his family, etc. he's always been this social too. going into his teenage years he never really had much Direction but that was never a huge problem, just kinda Emotionally Unfulfilling.

H2: Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

He's very thoughtful especially in that he has a great sense of what others like and dislike. Definitely a gift-giving / acts-of-service love language kinda guy and very good at it and is good at reading how the other is feeling. unfortunately the thoughtfulness is not the problem its everything else </3

H5: Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?

yes almost as much as he believes in divorce

H6: Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?

yes <3

I1: What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

idk i dont think hes super picky but he does enjoy sweets. like fancy coffee, chocolate, etc kinda Rich and Complex treats tho hes kinda bougie like that.

I4: How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?

its pretty much 50/50. going out to eat is often a Dinner Social thing for him and its always nice, but if he's not up for it he'll either get food delivered to/made for the office or cook something simple for himself. sometimes he just dont eat, his appetite is pretty Lacking nowadays.

J4: Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong?

hilarious question. theres many elements at play here LOLLL YES he is susceptible to it because he's New Here and doesn't know the history. YES he is susceptible bcz he LOVES believing things he assumes even if they arent true. HOWEVER he also loves researching and reading critically and mansplaining about things that are wrong.

J5: Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about?

yes and In A Way he is <3 he's not often passionate enough to go do something about it but when he Is i think he is capable of making quite an impact.

L1: How have your characters changed since you created them?

tbh not a ton??? his design and personality is still quite similar (annoying), i think the most important thing was a matter of figuring out what exactly his problem Is (cancer, ivy dying, what exactly he's supposed to do about that....). so basically he's more evil now <3

L9: How did you come up with your OC?

tbh all i remember is i took kinda a long time trying to come up with a design for him. i think once he came into the picture it actually made room for plot to Happen bcz hes an antagonist n all but it kinda just Happened i dont think i designed him solely with that purpose. beamed into my brain.

[kraniumet]

scrapped ideas for a fourth variation that wasn’t funny enough

[sweetpastillas]

ahaha i just watched MoM :)

here are my fresh thoughts on it

visually, the film is stunning. the thing about doctor strange films is that the film production is absolutely allowed to go ham with the cinematography. mystical shit, bitch, absolutely weird. it was why the first was my favorite, and why i anticipated this one (probably not as much as i did for nwh, but what can i say lmao spiderman funny i am tired college freshman epic !!!)

like some of my favorite shots or scenes were definitely homages to horror films. the reflection/mirror dimension parts going for the ring, and the tunnel chase scene being what i think is an homage to the shining (?). a lot of those are scattered throughout MoM, and i thought those were really cool. thank u mr raimi

however

plot-wise? not good.

uhhh

lemme just narrow it down to some points,

wherein the screenwriters, evidently,:

did NOT pick up on the nuances of stephen and christine's pre-canon lovers-to-friends arc in his first film

surely, only solely watched the what if? series to put in the concept of strange feeling more romantic love than he actually did in the mcu (to be fair, ol' cabbagepatch really sells it well, it's the VA expertise in him)

did NOT watch wandavision,

OR took away from it the idea that wanda only became a... questionably redeemable villain. yknow, after she took down a witch who would only hoard and harness her powers to herself without the guarantee of westview being set free

ignored the fact that wanda herself imposed seclusion and self-exile after westview, because That is how she learned to let go and so that she wouldnt hurt anyone anymore

DEFINITELY ignored the fact that people like monica, darcy, and jimmy acknowledged that she was at the peak of her grief, and knew she was ultimately good underneath all of that

kinda forgot about billy and tommy's powers, and how if they had used them against the scarlet witch in defense by the end, it would likely still make the point they wanted it to

uhhh once again denied a character who has suffered throughout her life even the tiniest sliver of a redemption arc OR real mental help that can be talked about. she doesnt visibly come out of there alive, there's no small seconds of her facing justice but getting proper healing and adjustment that she needed. they literally said that the darkhold (if i am spelling it right, edits abound) corrupts the user. ok, and as the scarlet witch, a literal nexus being, one of the most powerful people out there, couldnt be given the chance to gradually overcome that by the end?,, what is the point of establishing her as a key figure if she justs becomes the big bad to be vanquished at the end of the day?

also lol skipped over mordo being "the guy that tries to kill doctor strange every now and again", like he didnt have a large role in the first film

and many other weak points that may come to mind later on

so, basically, you mean to tell me that throughout all of wanda maximoff's life in the mcu, she never gets another channel for her grief, and that is how exactly she dies? her story doesn't become one of those that essentially say, you get to carve your own destiny and your position or actions or whatever people say dont make you completely evil. no, no, it doubles down on the fact that she's a wicked woman, or turned into one because she lost her kids.

also its crazy because.. idk if it's the angry wanda stan in me right now just after watching the movie, but i cannot remember what stephen's role was. was his arc set on becoming the guardian and mentor for america chavez? was it another lesson for him on how actions have consequences and so does his pride? or was it solely hinged on love and want for christine? hm. he's the titular character.

great cg tho thats what im saying, and all these actors still bring all theyve got to the table despite the weak script.

honestly, way back at the beginning before more details of the film's production were announced, i thought mordo would be the antagonist. y'know, because they alluded to that in the first film's end credits scenes AND because he just is in the comics. like he'd do something or find a way to fuck up sorcerers and magic in the multiverse, because he literally said "no more sorcerers" or smth like that after his disillusionment with the ancient one, so it would be up to a doctor strange/scarlet witch teamup to stop him. and ofc wanda and stephen could have their debate on who's more villainized and why, but still have them be on the same ground. you would expect wanda to be tempted by mordo, with the promise of her children or universes where she's with them and her husband and her brother, but she wouldnt be the total rushed villain and redemption would at least still be on the table. stuff like that, yknow.

:))

but no. that is not what happened, indeed.

(altho john krasinski as reed richards is cool in concept. it fits, and id like to see more of him in that role ngl.

sir patrick stewart as professor x... definitely done dirty with his quick death [as is the case with all members of the illuminati, why are they in charge if they can get taken out like that] but otherwise extremely cool to show his impact And his powers. you could feel that he's got the heart when he went into wanda's mind for a bit. i personally havent watched the x-men films in his and sir ian mckellen's era, and yet somehow because ive got flashes of knowing about it from childhood i get to feel like ive missed him. thats fun)

so did i enjoy it? kinda, yea. a 6-7/10

would i watch it again? only for the sheet music battle scene because i want to properly hear the soundtrack to see how it fits the moment.

otherwise, no. i'd rather rewatch the first doctor strange film, wandavision, and any other fan fix-its.

[wikluk]

Ok your preemie Mirabel AU's are amazing! How would it affect her into her teens? Would she have lasting complications? Would this make the family more protective over her? Would Alama treat her differently?

Okay, so... I hc Mirabel as a preemie in all of my AUs but there are some differences. In one AU (Dead Baby Mirabel), she had asthma and died after one of the attacks caused her to suffocate.

But in the others... Well, she's a typical preemie. When she was born, the midwife was hesitant to let Julieta hold her because Mirabel was quiet and rather indolent. They doubted she'd make it for more than a few hours (which turned into days and weeks and eventually it turned out she was okay), and they didn't want Julieta to develop an attachment with her so that her potential death would hurt her mother less (a joke on them, Julieta was attached to each of her babies the moment she knew about their existence, so thinking she wouldn't be attached to an actual newborn was kinda funny).

Lil young Mirabel had trouble with breathing and swallowing, so she often coughed and choked on milk or any other food when she was older. Feeding time was always a little stressful.

She had a weak immune system so she often had fevers, especially when she was a baby and a toddler; as she got older, her health improved much.

The fact that she was needier and weaker than other babies resulted in her spending her first year of life around Julieta, mostly. It was the reason why her mother has always been overprotective and worried about her. It wasn't only because Mirabel was a baby and her youngest kid; it was also because she was born weaker and Julieta was always worried if she'd grow into a healthy adult. It's also the reason for their close relationship.

But... I also hc Mirabel as a preemie in canon! Because premature children don't always have lasting complications, quite often you would never tell they were born earlier because there's nothing wrong with them. And I think that Mirabel was this lucky baby that yes, was born earlier, was smaller and of weaker health, but also thanks to her mother's attention (and magic milk lmao), she turned out just fine.

So now, besides this one AU where she had asthma, no troubles for teenager Mirabel. Only when she was a baby and a toddler. But I love this hc because it has both a potential for angst and immense fluff, you decide (especially if we hc her as a rainbow baby too... Sorry Juli).

It may be also the reason why Alma seemed to love her so much before the gift ceremony. Like... Mirabel was the youngest kid in their household and she was born earlier, worrying Julieta and Agustin, and she was so dotted on by everyone... But then the ceremony happened and abracadabra, things changed.

[theshy1sout]

Six Eared Shadow

Do you remember the analysis about Mei and Red Son? That was me, and I'm doing this again, but now about Macaque and Sun Wukong

Because what the heck why do they hate each other so much

Ok, so this... This is such a messy chaotic really chaotic mix of a few headcanons and theories I made up and it SOMEHOW turned into a fanfic that I wrote so long that other people made many similar things in meanwhile and now this sounds not original at all, but I wrote it not to keep it in my deep hidden shelf so here we go

(It's based on what I know from the lmk series. I've started to read JTTW, but I'm still not so far to get to know anything about Macaque, but I won't change anything about this theory from now on)

Let's gather some basic information for the start.

-> Macaque is made with a shadow or even he is a shadow (kinda shadow demon, the demon of shadow). I mean, shadow is not only his power, he literally is made with shadow matter. We know that because he can not only manipulate shadows but also go through walls and turn yourself into a shadow.

-> I'm not sure if someone made him or he just "poof" out of nowhere just like Sun Wukong, but according to the story he told about how close he and Monkey King used to be, there's no doubt they had some master/student relationship which later turned into almost equal partnership. What is said, Macaque followed Sun Wukong for a long time, learning a lot from him, 'being his shadow'. They grew in power together, fought together, and (as it is said) Macaque started casting as Sun Wukong shadow, which (surprisingly) looks like he did willingly. Just look at the picture - the shadow is big and bright, it’s powerful and smiling, proud of his strength. He doesn’t look like someone forced to be Sun Wukong’s shadow. It shows how much Macaque admired Monkey King, that he wasn't just a friend for him, he was his idol.

-> We all know Macaque is a shadow demon, he can easily change his appearance, he does not have to look like an evil clone of Monkey King, especially if he hates him now or something, SO even if he used to look up at Sun as his ex-student or ex-partner, and now we know he is NOT, he would prefer to not look so similar any more.

He can choose any other look, but he doesn't. Why? Well, maybe he actually cannot. Maybe this isn't an appearance he has specifically chosen, maybe this is his 'basic' comfy form and any other form would just take too much energy to keep up. And looking at the really tiny probability of two very similar monkeys just "poofing" out of nowhere, I dare to say, Macaque wasn't born (I mean like Sun Wukong or any other demon), but he was specifically created. And here is a question: on someone's purpose or not? Maybe the power of great Monkey King was so strong so the part of it just jumped from him and formed into another similar creature, but let me say it's just weird and I prefer the theory of Sun Wukong being so bored and lonely after his master's (Tripitaka) death, and he created a brother for himself from his own shadow. Just to have someone, anyone.

So Wukong created Macaque and then what? He trained him, he taught him everything he knew, maybe even he shared his powers with him. Some great great bonding time. But as Macaque said, something drew them apart. It is visible that Macaque blamed Monkey King for this, for 'forgetting him'. Before speculation of what happened then between them, let's focus on what Macaque showed us what he wants now.

We have two episodes, both show different sides of him. In season 1, Macaque's main goal is to steal Monkey King's power from Mk, and then to very specifically revenge. He visibly does not want to defeat Sun Wukong, he wants to hurt him as much as possible. Look: when Monkey King showed up, Macaque totally forgot about Mk. And then, when he's so close to defeat him, instead of that he turned to Mk and tried to kill the teenager. Mk is just a tool to hurt Sun Wukong.

And we can't forget how Macaque constantly pointed out all the weak sides of Sun, he's basically just saying on and on "you're weak, you're weak, you're so weak, I'm so strong, I'm strong, you are so weak". Which really fits the feeling of being forgotten because he was weaker and Monkey King was stronger, better, glorious and famous. Macaque really feels like that, he really tried to make Sun Wukong feel his pain by dominating him.

On the other hand, we see that Sun constantly striked off him. He said almost nothing to him, just "Aren't you bored of keep being in my shadow? It's time to give back what you've stolen" and that was fricking all. For Monkey King, Macaque is a just shadow, always behind him, something you turn around and leave behind to not see it and to forget, like an unwanted past. An unnecessary problem, that irritatingly keeps returning to him. He does not want to interact to not make even a slight more bond between them, he wants to delete him from his life forever, and omg WHY. At this end of the ep, Sun Wukong did not even mention Macaque. He really doesn't care at all (or extremely tries to not care). His HATE is almost touchable, ouch.

In season 2, Sun Wukong LEFT US ALL ALONE. Macaque showed up again, he played with Mk a bit, and... Left? That's the thing, you see, he doesn't need to hurt or kill Mk. All we see is Macaque talking about his past and then letting Mk experience something the 'hero' in the story should have felt. The guilt. When Mk interpreted his story differently, seeing himself as the warrior, Macaque corrected him. Cause he doesn't care about Mk at all. He heard how Mk told him about what hurt him, and here is a funny point, because if Macaque needs to be understood, listening to Mk and talking with him (such a simple act of empathy, they both needed it then, guh) should have been enough. Mk really felt the 'warrior' character in the story, so he understood what Macaque felt. But surprisingly, that was not what the demon carved.

Macaque chose to make Mk feel like Monkey King at the moment something drew the demons apart. He wanted to force Mk to be sorry, to apologize, to regret his mistakes, cause he failed with forcing Monkey King to feel that. But! Maybe he is not as purely innocent and poorly forlorn. We see the flashback for a half of second before Mk hit him with Staff:

We see Sun Wukong attacking Macaque who's in his demon (true) form.

Let's repeat this: Macaque felt as if a friend left him in the past. He said a friend did this to have all the "hero's glory" for themselves. We know Sun Wukong could do such a thing, especially before he met Tripitaka, but 1. In my theory Macaque is created after Tripitaka's death and 2. If (as my theory said) Sun created Macaque to not feel so lonely, he would never leave him for such a thing. So Macaque hides something for sure, something he did, something so terrible that made Sun Wukong attack him and not want to know him anymore. How horrendous thing Macaque did that made Sun Wukong choose to be alone again and to forget his dear brother he created by himself?

Back to the great bonding time, repeating speculation of "oh maybe they even share the powers" and comparing it to Macaque wanting to steal Mk's power, my theory here is saying:

Sun Wukong taught Macaque the technique of the same powers as he knew, but Macaque overused it (probably wanting to see how powerful he is, probably showing off and killing so many harmless people) doing terrible terrible things. So Monkey King took all of the powers from him and left him alone, powerless, with the last painful words: "Dont you dare to show in front of my eyes ever again". Of course Macaque was hurt, of course he didn't see why he's the bad guy, because he did not care about people at all. And of course Sun Wukong was hurt too.

Maybe he came back to the village Macaque had destroyed and following a quiet crying he found a little baby with a heart so clear and he put into him all Macaque's powers, making them sleep until the time will be right... But back to the series!

Yes exactly. Why did he destroy the lantern and leave? Why did he suddenly lose interest in teasing Mk and stop forcing him to feel guilty?

First thing, he saw Mk is ready to fight for his friends seriously. He still cared so much about them, not like Monkey King about Macaque. That was hard to swallow, that was hard to watch for the demon. That was't the thing he wanted to see. And second, the flashback. Maybe the sudden realization that he actually did something bad. Cause Sun Wukong didn’t just leave him, he cast him out. It was hard to admit that he actually deserved this (or maybe much more), it’s much easier to blame others, not yourself. So Macaque felt “that’s enough” and left. Mk brought him to this uncomfortable point of admitting the truth. Which he didn’t want to. Maybe in the following eps, he will see it, but now Macaque just isn’t ready yet. But the last talk with Mk gives me a little hope. He stopped treating him like a tool or toy, he was actually talking with him like with a person, he even warned him about Lady Bone Demon.

Maybe (maybe) one day he'll see that humans aren't just useless creatures he can carelessly kill, maybe Mk will make him care and realize what he's done, but that's just speculation in speculation, he could die before he reaches that point, maybe he is already dead....

And that's it. That is all I wrote on ao3, but in the fanfic I put much more details and I build those characters up much more than here. This is only rough rough short-saying, I'm really sorry if you read it all

Oh and here is a link if you liked this above i'd love if you read the fanfic thank you

[leviiattacks]

hi hi hi i really really really loved your jealous headcanon of levi and your teacher levi!!! i was wondering if i could maybe request something where you kinda mix the two(?) so like theres this event going on in school and the reader is very occupied and busy because shes paying attention to her students and then maybe she talks to some teachers about the event and then levi is just there secretly sulking cause he wants her attention too?? or idk you do you because your works are always soooooooo good thank you<3333

author note :: i did not stick to the prompt which was honestly an accident?/£/):7 but there is jealous levi and reader so i hope it workssss, it’s not that great and isn’t edited...but i hope you enjoy it :-( also thank you for the request you were very kind <3

for this to make more sense you’ll probably have to read my first ever teacher levi post which you can find here !!!!!

requests are always open :-)

word count :: 4.3k ???? longer than i expected ???? 

levi groans at the mention of sports day before turning to look at you dead in the eyes

he knows this is your doing, you’ve always been big on getting the children into sport and other extracurriculars

now see, he has no actual issue with sports day?? he’s pretty fit if he says so himself!!!

it’s just that he frankly does not have the effort to participate.

another part of him also feels frustrated seeing mike flock around you like an annoying bee

he’s asking all sorts of questions

“are we doing the three legged race again this year?”

“how about javelin?”

“HAHA...mike...”

levi takes one look at you and knows you’re trying to let him down softly, it is his favourite event after all.

“since last year’s fiasco and the way you nearly hit one of the sixth graders i think not.” you awkwardly chuckle patting his shoulder as if it’s any consolation

mike loves sports day, he’s competitive in all of the teacher only events and last year he even tripped you and levi up ON PURPOSE might you add

either way he still lost the teacher’s three legged race last year and ever since he’s been out to gain his title back.

levi remembers, he’s unsure if you do but he remembers vividly having to carry you on his back because you had sprained your ankle pretty badly after your collision with mike.

back then you and levi were still in the middle of your little math vs english debate meaning the whole walk to the infirmary was filled with bickering.

and when levi had placed you onto one of the beds you insisted you could treat yourself when you really couldn’t

the way that scenario ended had been with levi forcing you to place your foot onto his knee as he iced and tended to it

this year levi is not having any repeats of that. yes, he quite liked having some alone time with you, in fact it was one of the first times he stopped to wonder if he liked you.

BUT!!!! having you limp around the corridors wasn’t the best either and you were highly irritable until you were fully healed

“why don’t you actually try this year?” hange stifles a laugh, they’re stood to levi’s left and upon hearing their voice his shoulders sag. he knows he’s in for one hell of an earful

“i do try–”

“yeah whatever. anyway, you want a cupcake?” hange’s gesturing to the haphazardly iced buns in the four plastic containers in their hands

“these are for the bake sale!!” they add in enthusiastically.

levi’s about to shake his head, he’s already donated to the bake sale’s charity fund without paying for any of the baked goods. yes it is purely because he doesn’t trust hange to feed him anything edible

“they’re y/n’s batch :-)” hange’s wickedly grinning knowing they’ve hit their colleagues weakness

without another thought levi’s right hand dives into one of his pockets, fishing his wallet out. he places a few spare coins into hange’s palm

“wOAH, you’re pretty eager aren’t ya??”

their remark flies over levi’s head as he tries to pick out two of the most presentable cupcakes

“you’re so fond of y/n, why not try a little harder like i said?” hange’s thrown the bait in the river and levi completely falls for it. he turns ninety degrees completely forgetting about the cupcakes.

“i’m talking about sport’s day if it isn’t obvious.”

he faces hange directly. he scowls twisted in fake disgust and confusion all at once

“and why would i care about that?” he shoots back

“after walking in on the both of you touching each other up in the janitor’s closet i’m really surprised you’re — mMMPH—” levi’s shoved one of the cupcakes into hange’s mouth

“you’re gonna have to pay for that–”

levi smacks some more money into their palm to appease the issue

“when did you see that and have you told anyone else?” he’s seething right now, there’s no way he or you were unable to notice someone as loud as hange prance into the storage cupboard accidentally

“i haven’t told anyone but it has only been three days since i saw so who knowsss...”

“i’ll do anything for you to keep your mouth shut.” levi’s practically begging at this point

“i think you should buy a whole box of cupcakes as compensation. my eyes will never be the same again.”

levi hands over more than enough money, he’s probably handed over enough for two boxes just for extra measure

it’s not that he’s embarrassed of you or anything no, no, not at all. he just, this sounds so stupid but he isn’t sure what the two of you are????

you’ve kissed, A LOT but the only problem is that there’s never actually been confirmation of... something more? than that?

he’s simply horrible at asking, and seeing the way you’re talking to mike it’s almost getting to the stage of borderline flirting

he’s currently flexing one of his muscles and levi’s unsure if you’re actually gawking at them or feigning interest so mike can get bored and leave sooner

his bets are on you pretending for the sake of mike leaving until you reach out to squeeze his arm appreciatively

...

what is this feeling??

insecurity?? a low self esteem??? levi isn’t entirely sure what the emotion that surges through him at that moment is

but hange sure does, grinning at the scene playing out they shove moblit with their elbow

well, well, well levi getting jealous is certainly something new.

when levi knocks on the door of your classroom you assume he’s come to bother you and ask for the spreadsheet with grade averages and all that technical stuff

english and math grades need to be compared side by side and even though it’s your job to help with the data analysis you’re pretty bad at it so levi’s the one who USUALLY picks up the pieces and does it for the two of you

occasionally mike steps in and helps when levi’s got other stuff in the way

“oh levi!! mike told me he’d be doing this month’s spreadsheet?” you’ve poked your head out of the door to talk to him

levi’s eyes narrow at that because he hasn’t asked mike for help at all.

“i didn’t come here for the spreadsheet but i haven’t even told mike to assist me this month... i wonder why he’s so passionate.” he mumbles the last part under his breath

opening the door up you wave for him to come inside “what you here for then?” you ask, oOoh maybe he’s finished reading an inspector calls?? finally you can talk to someone about the twist at the end

“i’m taking part in sports day properly.” the statement is unexpected and ?? levi ?? take anything other than math seriously ??

“woah... i’m proud of you?? i’m glad you’re seeing it’s important to show the children physical activity is fun.” your smile brightens up the entire room and he begins to feel a little more confident

peering up at him your curiosity doesn’t go unnoticed and he clears his throat, he knows you’re expecting him to say something else

ok, ok, ok. he thinks he’s built enough courage up to ask you

“i’ve never got the chance to ask but would you like to go on a date?” on reflex levi screws his eyes shut, suddenly he’s convinced you’ll say no and reject him. why would you accept??

“sure!”

his eyes flutter open and he feels you grip at the sleeve of his shirt.

well? that went better than he expected?

“where do you want to go?” you ask

“doesn’t matter, but let’s go somewhere after sports day finishes up.”

“are you barely going to try like last year?” you’re munching away at a granola bar - it’s rather bland and makes your throat feel kinda scratchy

you’re midway through drinking some water to deal with the dryness but you nearly spit it out when levi responds

“no. i plan on winning every single teacher event.”

HE WANTS TO??? beat???? everyone???

“you’re planning on beating mike too?” you tilt your head to the side incredulously

levi purses his lips at the mention of his name

“why does that sound so absurd to you?”

“he’s um, very good at sport that’s all.”

“i am too.” levi’s adamant to prove his point to you

“fine, here’s a deal. win at least one teacher event and i’ll try and solve one of your funny math problems or whatever.”

“what kind of deal is that??”

“you’ll be able to see me struggle with numbers, for free!!”

“no. i have something better in mind.” levi bites his smile back, he can’t let you know the idea makes him feel

“and that would be?”

he takes a step forward decreasing the space between the two of you.

“how about you kiss me in front of everyone?”

your mouth falls open because oh wow....? you have no actual problem with the task you’re simply surprised that levi is willing to put the both of you out there like that. the spectacle is bound to raise some eyebrows

“deal?” he holds his hand out for you to shake

you nod your head. “it’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

and so your deal is sealed with a firm handshake.

the big day has ARRIVED!!!

all of the students are flooding in through the gates. some carry footballs, other basketballs. you’ve been here for less than ten minutes and had to save a ball from crashing right into an expensive window.

everyone’s wearing active gear, udo walks in with a ski mask on?? which is peculiar but it’s humorous so you don’t tell him off for it

you’ve chosen a comfortable olive green tracksuit, you don’t think you’re in the mood for ski masks like udo is

coincidentally levi happens to show up in the EXACT same type of tracksuit?? everything’s the same to the colour. you both stare at each other for a moment trying to figure out how exactly you managed that but give up, you guess you have similar tastes

the accidental coordinated outfits have a few of your students pointing and chuckling together

gabi and falco are laughing heartily and whispering god knows what about the two of you

“three legged race partner?” levi asks as he fills up some water bottles for the water stand

“oh? mike asked me to be his partner.”

levi doesn’t make it obvious that he’s jealous about it because what adult would be jealous over a three legged race??

but even if you can’t tell levi is pissed mike sure can

he’s walking past the two of you, hands shoved into his pockets when he spots you a few meters away. his eyes sparkle when he sees you. it’s at that moment he senses the dark piercing glare coming from your right.

you’ve yet to notice mike but levi’s seen him approaching from a mile away and he isn’t particularly happy about it.

the good thing about mike is that he knows not to mess with levi.

the two have known each other for years and by now mike knows messing with levi is a death wish in itself.

so when the poor physical ed teacher notices the way levi glowers at him he calls out your name to get your attention - he’s much too afraid to get anywhere near you

“Y/N!!”

whipping your head around you wave at your race partner, why does it look like he’s seen a ghost?? you shove that thought to the back of your mind, he’s probably just tired

“petra doesn’t have a partner and uhh... i think levi’s free. could you work with him instead?”

levi turns away to smile to himself. ah how the tables have turned!!!

“but i want to work with you? it’s always y/n and levi do this. y/n and levi do that!! i wanna try with someone else.”

what you’ve said is a lie. honestly you’d just like to see levi get worked up again

but levi doesn’t get the memo at all. it flies over his head and he huffs thinking if that’s what you want he doesn’t mind. he’ll just show you how he feels.

“it’s okay. i’ll go with petra.” levi nonchalantly salutes at both you and mike as he walks backwards before turning around to locate the ginger in question

WHY DID HE GIVE IN SO EASILY???? YOU WERE JOKING?????

with your mouth open wide mike looks at you once and puts the pieces together

“guessing you wanted him to stick around?” you suddenly hear and god, you feel kinda bad

“oh no!!! i would love to be your partner.” looping your arm with his you smile up at him

whether or not mike believes you isn’t clear but he does return your smile.

there’s a few minutes till the three legged race starts, everyone’s running around. erwin’s knelt down to tie yours and mike’s legs together

as he’s doing so you can’t help but hear a high pitched windshieldy giggle leave petra and you visibly seem annoyed. that’s if your arms crossed over your chest and clenched jaw are anything to go by

levi hasn’t even said anything notably funny ???? what is she laughing at ????

he’s quite literally just standing there making awkward small talk with her

it goes something like this

“have you marked your exams yet?”

levi doesn’t realise she’s said anything till she taps his shoulder and he asks for her to repeat her question

“oh.” he thinks for a while. “no not yet. i’ve got better shit to do. i don’t see them till next week either way.”

and then she just starts laughing so hard that she has to hold her knees and when that isn’t enough she holds onto a nearby pole for support

you see where this is going

when her breathing gets even more uneven she reaches out to grab levi’s upper arm

YUP. you knew it. you can’t be mad at her really. no one knows you and levi are sort of a thing.

a thing? is that the term? well, whatever late night calls discussing books and a few heated kisses in private mean that’s what you are

levi stares at the hold she has on his arm and you expect him to shrug her off. instead he sees you look, smirks a little and waves all the while letting her hand stay there

and the icing on the cake is petra waving at you too and her eyes are much more expressive than she thinks they are

she’s internally laughing at you for sure.

ok, not a big deal, NOT a big deal!!!

this is just him getting back at you for before.

flipping your head back your sad expression probably catches mike’s attention because he seems to cave in

“want to make him jealous back?”

his suggestion is interesting but you catch yourself second guessing

“he’s doing that because he’s jealous.” you mumble shaking your leg to test the strength of erwin’s knot

“and? don’t let him win.” he glances at his shoulder gesturing for you to make the next move

nodding your head vigorously you throw your arm over mike’s shoulder but find he’s too tall to make that work so instead you settle on holding him by the side

it takes you a little to adjust to the close proximity but in the time it takes you to do that mike informs you of levi glaring at the two of you

“mind if i hold onto you here? we can coordinate our moves faster!!!” petra doesn’t even wait for levi to agree to what she says. she just flings one of her arms around his torso

again, he lets her just as last time.

this game of cat and mouse is getting tiring, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when mike approached you.

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

your senses snap back to where you are. your grip on mike’s torso firms and he turns to nod at you.

you nod back.

you’ll win this.

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!”

okay, SO.

something in your game plan must have gone wrong but mike’s strength is something you’ve clearly underestimated. his first step is so powerful you don’t even have the time to start moving

you assume that’s how you collapse to the ground behind him and scrape your hands onto the cement of the track

so much for winning. all you’re doing is bleeding and hissing trying to cope with the stinging sensation

“mike?!?? not again??” hange groans and jogs over to the two of you untying the ropes at your legs.

“do we have to ban you from another event??? you’re too reckless sometimes.” hange smacks his chest and then hurriedly whispers “levi’s coming this way if you value your life you better bolt and use the first aid kit as an excuse.”

mike doesn’t even debate with himself, that’s his best bet at staying alive and so he dashes away as if he’s left the shower on at home for five hours unattended

some students are murmuring under their breaths and luckily for you the forever reliable gabi and falco have come to your rescue with bandages

“show me your hands.” levi’s hard voice interrupts all discussion. petra’s stood peering over his shoulder and you swear you catch her muffling a laugh

levi frowns. “you good?” he asks. you assume this answer will be the deciding factor regarding whether or not he makes this an issue with mike

“i’m great – trust me!! just a few scrapes.”

levi doesn’t look convinced but he let’s it go.

he helps you get up and takes the bandages from gabi thanking her.

“i’ll patch y/n up.” he tells hange pointedly and they agree. moblit at that moment happens to run over with a megaphone in hand.

“SHOWS OVER FOLKS!! WE’LL MOVE ON TO THE JUMP ROPE EVENT FOR NOW!!!”

“i’ll make him lose the one hundred meter sprint so badly he won’t know what hit him.” levi’s been grumbling the entire time he’s sat down to bandage your hands.

now that you’re both sat close to each other again murmurs of “matching tracksuits??” are back

“you don’t have to it was a mistake levi.”

levi shrugs eyes scanning his handiwork. “i want to. i’ve got to earn my kiss in front of a crowd anyway.”

gently letting go of your hand he looks out onto the track waiting to be called.

you’ve never seen levi give his full effort into sports day but even then you’re unsure if he’ll ever be able to beat mike.

honestly mike sure is fast and you recall one of the children referring to him with the nickname lightening bolt

and speak of the devil. a group of children walk past and are talking about the teacher’s race

“mr bolt’s gonna win for sure. you seen him run?? he could be an olympian!!!!” zofia’s gushing about him, she happens to be a big fan

the only nickname you’ve ever heard for levi is ursula – “ursula sure is evil for giving us that much work >:(” you had heard udo say once during class but after the earful he got from gabi he never used the name again, neither did anyone else

a few more minutes pass in a comfortable silence and levi’s called over to his lane. you’ve accepted the fact that there’s no changing his mind and he’s bound to compete now

“wait for me by the finish line.” he instructs and so you do. you go your separate paths. he to his lane (he’s in the lane two) and you to the finish line

petra’s already standing there waiting. her elbows are propped onto the railing peering out towards the contestants.

making your way to stand with her you see her sigh dreamily at levi in the distance

“hey, i know you don’t like levi a whole lot. you know your fued and all but do you think he’d say yes if i asked him out?”

well.

that sure is unexpected.

you fight the urge to scoff because you know you and levi are starting to drop more hints. is this her way of finding out the truth?

“me and levi don’t hate each other actually.”

“oh, well dislike.”

“we don’t dislike each other.”

“tolerate?” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth trying to control her frustration

“petra. i like levi.” your confession knocks the wind out of her. you both silently exchange looks. she’s very clearly in disbelief.

the next time she speaks the previous playful lilt in her voice is long gone

“as soon as you noticed i liked him you just had to decide you liked him too. people like you make my skin crawl.”

?????????

why is she so bitter?.)/&£:

you can’t help liking levi and he likes you too,, so what now??

“he likes me back petra. can we be civil about this? i don’t like workplace drama. i had no idea you were into him.” you’re hoping that this will happen to shut her up but NO!!! it doesn’t she’s only more mouthy now

“prove it.” she points one of her manicured fingers into your chest and demands evidence she doesn’t even deserve to see

“what???”

“if he likes you back so much he should be able to show it.”

you know, if it were any day, any other time or any other person asking you this you would have out right refused, but given the circumstances and levi already waiting on you to kiss him in front of the entirety of the school you see no issue with having the last laugh in this argument

“fair enough.” you mutter and lean over to see hange announce the countdown

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!!!”

you swear you blink because GOD what on EARTH????? you don’t understand why previous to this levi balked at the thought of participating because he’s made it look so easy.

he’s not bolted he may as well have TELEPORTED to the finish line. mike is breaking out in a sweat far behind him and the boyish grin on levi’s face is enough to tell how he feels

gasps and applause can be heard from the children. zofia and udo are passionately arguing about some bet they’ve made - you make a mental note to tell them that making deals is fun as long as they don’t bet large amounts of money

levi’s jogging up to you completely ignoring petra’s presence

“told you i’d do it. i avenged you didn’t i?” you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so confidently in public 

you acknowledge what he’s said with a cartoon like thumbs up and then you’re staring at him unable to locate your courage

oh fuck it

you lean in hurriedly and steal a peck from him. he blinks and then scowls much to petra’s amusement. she has to think he’s about to curse you out but unbeknownst to her she’s read the situation wrong

“is that your idea of a kiss??”

and then he takes matters into his own hands – no literally into his own hands. he cups your face in his palms and captures your lips with his own. as you reciprocate petra can be heard choking on her saliva.

“OH well who would’ve guessed the english and math department had an alliance????? not me???” next is hange, they’re feigning shock even though they’ve known what the two of you have been up to this entire time

the whispers have now become full on shouts

“i KNEW it they were dating?!?!”

“MAN??? I HAD A CRUSH ON MR ACKERMAN WHAT NOW???”

gabi and falco are audibly cheering, you’re quite sure they realised what was up long ago

“DON’T BE UPSET BUT I THINK THIS IS WAYYY BETTER THAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!” falco’s comment makes your heart rise in your chest

and you know what? you think so too.

as levi’s hand travels to the back of your neck pressing you further into him you come to the conclusion that maybe just maybe this is far better than pride and prejudice ever will be :-)

[silvertonguespoon]

Ok so content warning for some helluva boss crit or neg or whatever I'm just gonna rant rq and then go to bed

It should kinda be obvious from the preface but I didn't rly like the new episode. I wouldn't say it was bad but rather it was boring. I really enjoyed helluva boss in the first season it was funny and pushed the limit and had cute moment in the subtext but that's where I find the issue with E1S2. I didn't find myself laughing or crying at any of it it was just painfully predictable and it felt like every joke was an after thought to the honestly overused plot. I mean every dirty joke felt so out of place in the episode which is so strange for helluva boss. Everything was just put out into the open with really no set up or pay off it felt like an unearned reward that I didn't actually want in the first place. Maybe I remember incorrectly but wow stella is such a bitch all of a sudden like she was a shitty mother and wife but the first season implied that the issues with her a stolas' marriage were at least partially mutual and she seemed actually upset with him cheating then but now I see no reason why she hates him. It felt like too much for me she too one dimensional now and honestly stolas' is a lot more boring now too. Everything wrong with stolas in season one is suddenly stellas fault and were meant to now coddle him like a poor little baby. It's just I've seen this done a thousand times and in a much better way. I remember hearing some stuff abt ppl being upset abt the stolitz ship but I liked it in season one where it was fucking weird and a bit toxic and hinted towards some real feeling at least for stolas. That's a personal opinion though I wanted to see a complex love story play out even if it crashed and burned for the best. I'm clearly very tired as I write this I'm not touching everything I want to and not in a very tactful way and at the end of the day it's personal preference. I think the writing this episode was pretty weak and it rly wasnt for me. I can see the direction vivzie want to take this and if this is where it will continue to go I'll prolly drop the show it's just a bit too predictable for me.

(editing this now I wrote Octavia like a dumbass I meant Stella so apologies if u saw the first version I would never abt my emo girl)

[haikyuuuuuhypeeeee]

Ch. Fourteen

⚠WARNING: Swearing

• ────── ✾ ────── •

Waking up is painful. Physically painful, at least. You’re not ready to deal with the emotional pain from yesterday, no thank you.

You finally peel your eyes open, a true struggle considering how they were crusted together. You take in your surroundings and form the first coherent thought of the day.

This isn’t my bedroom.

Your eyes seem to be crusted shut. You sit up and realize that no, this is not your apartment, this is Osamu’s apartment. This is his bed you’re currently sitting up from, his blankets wrapped around you.

You then form your second coherent thought of the day.

His detergent smells really nice.

That thought finishes in your head before it’s slammed aside by the rush of yesterday’s memories - group therapy with your friends and Osamu, Oikawa being a complete dick to Osamu, your argument with Oikawa which resulted in Oikawa blabbing of your love for Hajime, leaving the restaurant crying, realizing you lost your keys but they’re at Osamu’s apartment, walking to Osamu’s crying…

From there it’s a bit murkier as your memories intertwined with self-deprecating thoughts and a line of thinking you rarely walk down anymore.

Last night was a night.

You do somewhat remember Osamu comforting you. Letting you know that it was okay and he was there for you.

You glance around the studio apartment, wondering where he was. Oh god, did you force him out good lord you are -

Oh, no he’s sitting on his couch with a cup of coffee.

You’re filled with guilt when you realize you monopolized his bed and completely took over his apartment. Yeah, he maybe didn’t need to sleep last night (a concept you still don’t fully understand nor approve of) but you have fully overstayed your welcome.

Grabbing your phone from the side table you tap the screen, taking in the notifications on your screen.

Shit, I never messaged Makki or Mattsun.

Your gut feels like lead as you open the group chat with the two. That was a big fuck up on your end.

Fuck, I’m such a shitty friend.

You don’t waste anytime typing out a message.

“Tea?”

You look up from your phone and are greeted with Osamu’s sleepy gaze, a mug of tea held in his hand for you. You reach for the mug, nodding slowly.

“How’re yer feel in’ this morning?” He asks as you take a sip. You shrug in response

“I’m okay. I’m sorry I just fell apart like that on you.” You say. “I wasn’t having a great night, and my emotions just kind of bled all over the place. And I’m sorry that I fell asleep.”

“Yeah, that was actually pretty funny.” Osamu smiles. “Ya just kinda passed out on my shoulder. I had to lift ya to get ya onto the bed.”

You blink, absolutely mortified. “Oh wow, I am so sorry. That’s so embarrassing.”

“Nah, it was cute.” Osamu takes a casual sip from his mug, seemingly oblivious to the flirty line he just dropped. “But ya seemed pretty upset last night, and i wasn’t gonna let ya walk home like that.” The smile drops from his face and he looks at you with concern. “If ya wanna talk about it ya can, although I don’t want to push ya. It’d be pretty dumb of me to.

“I know I’ve been pretty skeptical about openin’ up and talkin’ ‘bout my feelings, but since meetin’ ya I’ve felt better. Lighter, I guess.” He shrugs. “Ya’ve made me realize how important it is to open up.”

You look down at your tea, a small smile tugging at your lips. Your heart warms at Osamu’s words, part of you preening that you were the one who has helped Osamu, but also you feel genuine relief that Osamu wants to open up more.

“Well, let me treat you to breakfast this morning - it’s the least I can do.” You finish your tea and give Osamu a small smile. “I can tell you about yesterday if you don’t mind listening.”

Osamu smiles in return. “Sure, let me grab my stuff.” He takes the mug from your hand and shuffles into the kitchen. You sit up, stretching your arms and grabbing your phone. A few more messages have come through from Mattsun and Makki.

Uhhhhh…….

You open up your chat with Oikawa, finding hundreds of messages from him. He hasn’t sent you anything since 5am. You quickly navigate back to the chat with your other friends.

Frantic knocks, one after another, beat against Osamu’s door.

No way.

Osamu gives you a look before walking to the front door. He checks the paper hole, then turns back and looks at you with faint amusement.

“It’s for ya.”

You stand from the bed, moving into the kitchen. Regretfully, you open the door.

A distressed-looking Oikawa is the surprise visitor. He looks absolutely beside himself - his eyes are bloodshot and swollen, snot is dripping out of his nose, and his hair is messy and lackluster.

Oh dear god.

He bursts into tears when he sees you, but surprisingly doesn’t throw himself at you. He must be learning some boundaries. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Y/N-chan! I was being stupid and petty and I didn’t mean to-”

“Ok, ok c’mon. You’re going to wake up Osamu’s neighbors.” You bring the snivelling, pathetic Oikawa inside, quickly closing the door behind him. You help him get his shoes off, glancing around the Osamu. You spot him at the sink, filling a glass with water. He brings it over, giving Oikawa a nod and silently passing the water to him.

“Thank you Osamu-kun.” Oikawa gratefully takes the water and downs it before handing the empty glass back to an amused Osamu. “I plan on giving you a full apology soon, I promise.”

Osamu huffs a laugh and goes back into the kitchen. He sets the glass in the sink as you lead Oikawa through and into the living room.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper to Osamu. “Do you want me to go?”

“Nah,” Osamu waves his hand. “I’ll get ready for breakfast in the bathroom, and give you guys some space.”

“Thank you, I’ll try to make this quick.”

“Take yer time.” Osamu smiles at you and moves to the bathroom. You turn back to Oikawa, who is watching you with regret painting all over his face.

“I’m sorry I told Makki and Mattsun that you love Hajime.” Oikawa blurts without any bite.

You think you see Osamu flinch out of the corner of your eye but when you look his way you see the bathroom door closing. You look back to Oikawa and sigh.

“Why did you say it then?”

Oikawa heaves a sigh and hangs his head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to say to make you not hate me.”

“Oikawa, I don’t hate you.” You join him on the couch, leaning into his side. “Talk to me.”

Oikawa presses back to you and you feel his shoulders move up and down as he takes another deep breath. “I knew that uni classes and volleyball would be really really hard - but as long as we all had each other we would be fine. We smashed through high school together, so this was just another challenge.

“But when Iwa-chan died it changed everything. Obviously.” Oikawa takes a shaky breath. “But I still had you, Mattsun and Makki. I knew that we wouldn’t be the same without Iwa-chan, and classes and volleyball would be hard, but we would be friends.

“I don’t think I knew how hard everything would be. My classes suck, volleyball is a chore, and I miss Iwa-chan.” He sniffles. “I miss him so much. I feel like I don’t know who I am without him. But I had you guys, I always had my friends.

“But Mattsun and Makki are in their own world sometimes, and then you started hanging out with Osamu.” He looks at you, tears shining in his brown eyes. “I know it makes me sound like you can’t have other friends beside me, and I really don’t want to be selfish. But you were spending more time with Osamu and it hit me that you were all growing up and becoming different people.” A few tears track down his face and he sniffs. “I don’t want anything to change, I don’t want Iwa-chan to be dead, I don’t want to be a terrible person.”

Oikawa starts to cry and you don’t hesitate in pulling him into a side hug. He’s not really sobbing but you feel his pain deep in your heart. One of your hands comes up to card gently through his hair.

“I know I’ve been a piece of shit the last few months. And I can tell that you really like Osamu, even though you’ve always loved Iwa-chan. Whenever you talked about him you had this happy and bright look on your face. He makes you feel good, but you love Iwa-chan. You moving on meant change, and I hated that.” Oikawa sniffs. “But bringing Osamu to the group therapy session, which I always thought was our group’s thing, made me realize that you were changing. I was so angry, and your secret just slipped out.”

He takes a watery breath. “Isn’t it awful? I’ve been trying to drag you back down to my level, bring you back down to feel the pain that I feel, all because I’m scared. I’m a terrible, awful friend.”

“Oikawa, have you had time to go to your therapy appointments?” You ask gently.

He doesn’t answer right away, and when he gives the tiniest shake of his head you sigh.

“Honey,” you scold gently. “Why are you not going?”

“School and volleyball have taken up a lot of my time.” Oikawa mumbles, his sentence punctuated with another sniffle. “I’ve skipped so many appointments, and I’m too embarrassed to call.”

You sigh, inwardly shaking your head at your friend’s weak excuse. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but maybe re-prioritize your responsibilities. Getting back on track with your therapy appointments should take top priority. You can talk through these feelings instead of letting them fester.”

Oikawa doesn’t answer right away, but when he does his voice is small. “But I’d probably have to quit volleyball, and that’s all I have left of Iwa-chan.” You see his hands ball into fists. “I don’t want to lose that.” His breath hitches. “I don’t know what to do.”

You let him cry on your shoulder, giving him the time to get all the tears out. You figure this is the most civil conversation you’ve had since Hajime died. The thought brings you relief but also makes you quite sad.

“You know you’re one of my best friends, right Oikawa?” You ask once he’s calmed down a bit. “You’re a diva and a trainwreck, but you’re my diva and my trainwreck.” He exhales lightly but you’re almost certain it’s in amusement. “No matter what, I’m always going to want the best for you, and I’m always gonna try my best to help you.

“But,” you feel him tense up when you continue. “You have to realize that your behavior the past few months has been really shitty. You’ve treated us all like punching bags - we get it, probably more than a lot of people could. But I’m not gonna let you treat me, or any of our friends, like it anymore.”

“I’ll be good.” Oikawa promises immediately. “I promise, I’ll do better for you and Makki and Mattsun. And me.”

“Good.” You give him a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry for yelling at you last night in the restaurant.”

“You don’t have to apologize at all.” He replies immediately. He yawns before speaking again. “Honestly, I’ve been a piece of shit for months now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You murur. You both sit on the couch for a while longer as you try to come down from the conversation you just had. You feel like a heavy cloud that’s been floating around your head for months has cleared, and although you know Oikawa won’t magically change overnight you feel better knowing that you’ve had this hard conversation with him. Change starts with communication, and hopefully Oikawa understands now that he has the support to change.

You feel Oikawa leaning against you even further and you look at his face to see his eyes closed and mouth parted open.

“Oikawa, c’mon I don’t want you falling asleep.” You gently push him off you so you can stand and get Oikawa to stand also. His eyes are still closed and he puts nearly all of his body weight onto you.

He must not have slept all night, you think. It’s not uncommon for him to pull all nighters, a habit he picked up in high school watching game tape over and over until the sun came up. But he handles the lack of sleep gracelessly - you could prop him against a door jamb and he’d pass out no problem.

Together you move towards the front door. You’re not going to let him fall asleep here and inconvenience Osamu even more - you’ll take him back to your apartment and maybe try to catch lunch with Osamu. Now you owe him a few meals and unlimited coffee.

“Gotta apologize to Osamu-kun,” Oikawa mumbles when you lean him against the wall.

“Maybe when you’re going to fall asleep standing up, yeah?” You reply, bending down to shove his feet back in his shoes. You hear more mumblings in return but can’t make anything out of them.

As you’re getting your shoes on you hear the bathroom door open and out walks Osamu. He’s dressed and his face is composed into it’s usual blankness. Trusting that Oikawa won’t keel over, you walk over to where Osamu is reaching into his dresser for socks.

“I’m so sorry,” you say. “I have to reschedule breakfast, I have to make sure this idiot won’t sleepwalk into traffic.”

“S’alright. Didja work everything out?” Osamu asks in a measured tone.

“I think so.” Osamu’s not looking at you as he puts on his socks. Your gut twinges with guilt, realizing that he must be upset that you have to cancel breakfast. “But I think I’m gonna take him to my apartment and make sure he sleeps. Do you want to meet up for lunch or something?”

“Can’t.” His short answer makes you blink. “Meetin’ a group on campus for a class project.”

“Oh.” He’s still not meeting your gaze, and you detect a hint of gruffness in his tone. Maybe he’s upset that he has to meet with his group last minute? Or because you basically shoved him into his bathroom while you and Oikawa worked out your issues. “Dinner then? I owe you double now.”

“Probably not.” Osamu stands and gathers a few books and a notebook before shoving them into his backpack. His inability to look at you or hold a full conversation is confusing, but you don’t want to push him.

“Well let’s meet at the coffee shop tomorrow, usual time after morning classes. Sounds good?”

He hums distractedly. Your gut feels heavier and you swallow hard.

“Okay, well I’ll be off now.”

Osamu turns towards you but still doesn’t meet your eyes. “I’ll walk ya out.”

You both make the short walk to the front door. The tension in the room is heavy, unable to lighten even at the sight of Oikawa sleeping standing up. You maneuver your friend while Osamu opens the door for you. It’s a slight struggle walking out of the front door but you manage.

You look back before Osamu can close the door behind you. He’s holding the door knob and staring at the ground. “Let me know if you can do dinner tonight - if not I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You force as much cheeriness into your voice, despite the heavy weight in your chest. Finally Osamu looks at you, giving you a disinterested nod.

He closes the door as you turn to walk away. You look back quickly, catching a crestfallen look on Osamu’s face before the door fully closes.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: So when I originally thought about this story, I wanted to think about how different people deal with grief. And what I wanted to explore was 1.) is there a limit to how people will grieve? And 2.) can someone grieving push that limit? From the get-go Oikawa has seemingly pushed the limit of what some of you believed, and yet Y/N was still hesitant to call him out. And I loved hearing what everyone had to say about Oikawa - some were willing to give him a pass, and some were NOT happy with him. Now, just because someone is grieving, it does NOT give them a free pass to behave inappropriately or do serious harm to those around them. But I think it’s important to note that what may seem absolutely insane to one person is tolerable to another. And what it comes down to is how the person who is directly affected by another’s actions wants to address those actions (sorry if this is confusing.) Oikawa was treating Y/N and their friends like shit. In the story it was because Oikawa was not taking the necessary actions to keep himself mentally healthy. In Y/N’s eyes, if there is a desire to be better, and appropriate actions are taken to be better, then Oikawa deserves to be forgiven. I have absolutely LOVED reading everyone’s reactions and hearing their opinions on Oikawa’s slowly deteriorating behavior, thank you for sending them in! And just because how Y/N has reacted to Oikawa’s behavior it does not mean there is a right/wrong way! Everyone has different life experiences and different relationships that guide their decision-making! And that’s totally okay! (This obviously applies to non-threatening and morally & ethically right behavior.) And WOOF thank you for getting this far in the A/N’s, this was a LOT! Gold stars for everyone!! 🌟🌟🌟

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU: @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef