#acn compass

[motomamita]

eddie munson × fairy!reader

warnings: smut, +18, dubcon by reader, tighs fuck, fantasy creatures.

Influenced by the sunny and cool days in Hwakins, Eddie decided to go camping outside the town on his own. Serious mistake.

Without a compass and in the middle of the forest, Eddie was lost in the cold night. Things got even worse when, in complete darkness, he did not notice where he was stepping and fell down a small ravine, hitting his head and remaining unconscious for several hours.

Fairy!reader, who had been watching him for hours, tried to fight her instincts and not meddle with humans. However, her conscience would not be clear if she left Eddie unconscious and alone in the darkness of the forest.

Carefully, she managed to drag him to her small house inside the trunk of a large tree, a few meters from where he had fallen. She laid him down on her bed, covered him with some bushes, and began to clean his notable wounds. It was not the first time she saw a human, the forest used to be filled with hunters during certain seasons and many of them came to be relatively close to her territory. The difference was that she had never seen one so close, much less bringing him to her place, her refuge.

When Eddie's wounds were clean, she went to her small kitchen and started a small fire to make her herbal tea. Meanwhile, Eddie was still unconscious and unable to attack her if he wanted to. She approached him and looked at him carefully. She started with his face, his long eyelashes, his nose, the small acne scars on his skin and his pink lips. Curious, she touched that last part with her fingertips, surprised by how soft it was. Then she continued with his neck to his chest and watched as it rose with each of his breaths. Finally she reached his pants.

Within the world of fairies, men were scarce compared to women, and the few men that could be found were characterized by their extreme shyness. Fairy!reader had never had the opportunity to be with any man, neither fairies nor humans. At first she didn't care, she preferred to stay alone but calm in her small home, planting flowers and herbs, and communicating with the small animals that passed by. However, her curiosity, and need, began to grow as time went by. That led her to watch the hunters from afar, admiring their strong muscles and masculine aromas, so contrasting with the delicacy that characterized her species. She soon discovered that those hunters were not good people, because they only went to her forest to kill animals and destroy nature as if it belonged to them.

But Eddie, he didn't seem like that type. He just walked through the forest, collecting stones with strange shapes and taking polaroids of the most colorful flowers, without tearing them from their place. Even with his face unconscious, his expression looked serene and sweet. Equally or more charming than the fairies you've ever heard of.

Seeing him there, at her mercy was tempting. She knew the risks she was running by having him there, he could wake up at any moment and break her delicate wings. But hee curiosity was greater, so greater that she did not mind losing his life there.

Sh sat on hee bed and carefully she brought her hand to his belly, caressing it over his shirt and lowering her hand to his pants. Eddie remained unfazed and that encouraged her to go much further. She touched his crotch over his pants, curious to know if human men were at all similar to fairies. Eddie whined still unconscious at the touch. For a moment she thought about walking away and going to see the tea, but he raised his hips slightly in search of more. She continued to feel him over the fabric, noticing how his member slowly hardened and Eddie seemed even more restless in his unconsciousness.

Little by little she lowered his pants and underwear, exposing his member to her. The fairy observed in shock what was in front of her: Eddie's member was hard and erect, dripping small beads of precum and contracting slightly as if asking for her attention. A heat invaded her, something almost fierce and uncontrollable that she couldn't explain. Is this what it felt like to be in love?

She brought one of hee hands to Eddie's member, squeezing it slightly and noticing how more liquid came out of its pink tip. She moved her hand up and down in a slow rhythm, experimenting and observing his reactions. Eddie's hips moved in response to that agonizing rhythm, almost begging for her to increase the pace and help him reach his climax. That's how she did it, with greater confidence and noticing that he was asking her for something but she didn't know what.

"Yes... Keep it up... my love..." were the words that came out of Eddie's mouth, who was slowly beginning to wake up. His muscles began to tense, announcing the arrival of his orgasm.

She continued her movements, encouraged by Eddie's husky voice. As if it were a bucket of water, Eddie opened his eyes and noticed his surroundings in fear. That wasn't his house and he didn't even have a girlfriend who treated him the way they were doing at that moment. He quickly got up from the bed, not caring about ruining his orgasm, and covered himself as best he could with her underwear.

She jumped out of bed when he woke up and almost ran to one of the corners of her small room, keeping her distance so as not to scare Eddie more. He, with his rapid breathing, looked at her carefully, noticing her shiny wings and her peculiar way of dressing. He looked around, everything was made with natural things and the occasional object from civilization.

"Where I am?" He asked agitatedly, looking at the girl, who only smiled kindly at him.

"In my home." she answered obviously. "You fell and became unconscious. I rescued you and brought you here." Eddie touched his head and noticed a small bandage made of leaves, as well as scratches on his arms that were clean. Inevitably his gaze dropped to his painful erection covered by his underwear. "I just want to help." she murmured almost pleadingly.

Eddie observed her in greater detail, admiring every element that made that girl, or creature, something hypnotic for him. Her head decorated with bird feathers, her dress was made of small leaves of multiple colors that hugged her curves well and left her thighs exposed. Her wings moved slightly, continuing to release small flashes of light.

The simple image of that unknown fairy who had rescued him, cured him and sought to keep him alive excited him enormously. In his daily life he had never received the attention of the girls around him, and that supernatural beauty showed appreciation for him, an ordinary man. Eddie relaxed and decided to give himself completely to her. In short, if she had wanted to kill him, she would have done it before.

"You want to help me?" He asked receiving a nod of her head in response. "Come closer, little fairy.." Eddie undid his underwear and his member was exposed again. She approached him slowly, dazzling him with her natural beauty. "Give me your hand.."

She obeyed without hesitation and extended her hand to him. Eddie grabbed it and admired for a few seconds how delicate and small it was compared to his own. Then, he spit into her palm, wetting her skin with his warm saliva. Attentive to every movement, Eddie guided her to his member and made her resume her movements. He closed his eyes at the pleasurable sensation and cursed under his breath, enjoying the sensation.

"I'm going to cum soon- can I fuck your thighs? Please, please.." He begged, opening his eyes, looking at her tenderly. She, noticing his desperation, nodded without stopping moving her hands on his hard member.

Eddie, without waiting any longer, grabbed her hips and brought her close to him. His large, swollen cock fit perfectly between her thighs, giving him a warm, soft welcome. Desperately, he moved his hips, fucking her thighs and wetting them with his saliva. When he lowered his gaze, he met her bright eyes who seemed to be in some kind of tranquility, stunned by his actions. From his height, Eddie had a good view of her breasts while he felt her nipples harden against his clothing.

Eddie's cock moved in and out, rubbing against her pussy and giving her a sensation of ecstasy she had never felt before. He looked into her eyes, connecting glances and losing himself from his reality, concentrating only on his pleasure. He carefully hug her even more, taking care not to hurt her fragile wings and flooding her with her floral aroma.

Soon, his orgasm reached him and he had no choice but to allow himself to be invaded by it. With a loud moan, Eddie came, staining the fairy's thighs and pussy with his thick, white semen. She, noticing his agitated breathing, hugged him, bringing him even closer if he came close to her, offering him a series of support until his ecstasy subsided.

When they separated, Eddie lifted his pants, sat on the bed and soon noticed the mess he had left on her. He carefully took his bandana and cleaned the fairy's skin, who looked at him almost pleased with his detail. Then, both of them locked eyes and he was the first to speak.

"Thank you, little one." He said almost embarrassed by what just happened.

"It doesn't matter!" She responded with a sweet smile, almost as if everything before had not bothered her. "I'm glad I helped you." She combed his hair with hee hands and suddenly her wings tensed, letting a bit of glitter fall to the dirt floor. "I just remembered that I made you some tea! I don't want you to leave without being completely healthy!" she spoke to him with care and then walked to the small fire she had made.

Eddie looked at her from his spot and smiled tenderly. Maybe going camping alone wasn't a bad idea after all.

[enhahooninurwindow]

ENHYPEN WHEN THEIR S/O IS INSECURE

Pairing: enhypenOT7 x reader 🍓MASTERLIST

Genre: fluff

Wc: 250+ per member

a/n: I’ve written a few sentences in third person grammar bc I was saying all this in my head and maybe I typed it in like that sorryyy. Also I wrote this based on some of my insecurities so I hope it helps other insecure people too <3

Tuesday, 19 March. 2024

Heeseung - acne

 "Hey beautiful, what's on your mind? You seem a bit off." Heeseung asked you noticing ur face getting dull. "I can't help feeling insecure about my acne. It's been bothering me a lot lately." you reply, not aware of Heeseung heart getting heavy hearing this. "Baby, please, your acne doesn't change how amazing you are to me. You're more than your skin, you're everything I love and cherish." he gently brushes ur hair back and continues, "Your kindness, intelligence, and laughter light up my world. Don't let a few blemishes dim your shine." Smiling softly, you say "Thank you for always being so understanding and supportive. I'm grateful to have you by my side." “You don't have to thank me, love. It's my privilege to be here for you, no matter what. Together, we'll overcome any insecurities and grow stronger. You mean everything to me, and I want you to see yourself through my eyes. You're not defined by any imperfections; you're defined by your resilience, your compassion, and the love you bring into my life every day. I cherish every moment with you, and I wouldn't change a single thing about you." He wraps his arms around u, pulling u into a warm embrace, and whispers, "I promise to always remind you of your worth and beauty, even on the toughest days. You're the love of my life." Feeling comforted you reply "I love you so much hee. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and seeing the best in me, even when I struggle to see it myself." "Forever and always, my love. We'll navigate through any challenges together, and I'll never stop reminding you of just how extraordinary you are." he replied.

Jay - stretch marks

 "Y/nah are u alr?? You seem unwell." jay asked you taking a seat on the edge of the bed while u faced ur mirror. "I've been feeling really insecure about my stretch marks. I can't help but think they make me less attractive."  "Oh baby, your stretch marks don't change a thing about how beautiful you are to me. They're a part of you, a testament to your strength and journey. I admire and love every part of you, including your so-called imperfections." He gently takes ur hands and continues, "Your kindness, your laughter, and the way you light up a room are what truly make you stunning. Don't let anyone or anything make you doubt that." Tearing up you say “Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear it from you." "I mean every word, my love. I'll always be here to remind you of your worth and to shower you with the love and admiration you deserve. You're perfect in my eyes, stretch marks and all." He softly kisses ur forehead and whispers, "You're not just beautiful; you're extraordinary. These marks are like a map of our journey together, each one a reminder of the moments we've shared and the love that has grown between us. I cherish every part of you, including these marks that tell your unique story." As u hold each other, he plants gentle kisses on ur cheeks and continues, "Let me show you how much I adore you, not despite your marks but because of them. They're a part of what makes you the incredible person I fell in love with. You're my everything, and I'll always treasure and celebrate every inch of you."

Jake - nose shape

As you both cuddled on the couch, Jake noticed a hint of sadness in ur eyes. "Is everything okay, love?" he asked gently. You hesitate before admitting, "I've always felt insecure about my nose. I wish it were smaller and cuter like others." The jake's heart sank, hearing ur words. He pulled u closer, wrapping his arms around u. "Your nose is perfect," he whispered, planting a soft kiss on the tip of ur nose. "It's unique, just like you. I love everything about it because it's a part of you." Feeling ur tense muscles relax under his touch, he continued, "You're the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. Your smile, your eyes, and yes, even your nose, they all add to your beauty. I wouldn't change a thing about you." His loving embrace and words of affirmation melted ur insecurities away. U nestled into his chest, feeling safe and loved. In that moment, u realized that his acceptance and affection were what truly mattered, and his love was the most beautiful thing in the world. He looked into ur eyes with utmost sincerity and said, "You are my everything. Your beauty radiates from within, and every little detail about you is what makes me fall in love with you more each day. Your nose is not just cute; it's uniquely yours, and that's what I adore about it. I promise to always remind you of how special you are and to cherish every part of you, no matter what insecurities may arise." He sealed his words with a tender kiss on ur forehead, reaffirming his unwavering love and devotion to u.

Sunghoon  - bloated stomach

At first, when u told him about u being insecure of ur bloated stomach, sunghoon felt a mix of confusion and concern. He wasn't sure how to react at first, as he hadn't anticipated this vulnerability from u. However, as he saw the distress in u eyes, he realized that what u needed most was his understanding and support. Taking ur hands gently in his, he looked into ur eyes with a reassuring smile. "You're beautiful just the way you are," he began, his voice filled with sincerity. "Your body is incredible, and it's natural for it to go through changes. Your bloated stomach doesn't change how I feel about you. I love every part of you, including your imperfections." He pulled u into a comforting embrace. "You're so much more than your appearance," he continued, pressing a kiss to ur forehead. "Your clinginess, unseriousness, and your loving nature are what truly makes u special." Feeling the warmth of his embrace and hearing his words of affirmation, u felt a wave of relief wash over. U leaned into him, grateful for his unwavering support and love. In that moment, u realized that his acceptance and understanding were the most precious gifts u could ever receive. As the evening came, he made sure to shower u with small acts of love and kindness, like preparing ur favorite snacks and playing ur favorite music. He encouraged u to relax and enjoy the moment, letting go of any worries or self-doubt. With each loving gesture and heartfelt word, he reinforced his commitment to uplifting ur spirits and making u feel cherished.

Sunoo - smile

Sunoo's eyes widened with surprise and concern as he listened to u express ur insecurity about ur smile. "Wait, what? Your smile is one of the most beautiful things about you!" he exclaimed, his voice reflecting genuine dismay. You looked down, feeling a mix of embarrassment and vulnerability. "I know, but sometimes I feel like it's not as perfect as yours or others," u admitted softly. His expression softened as he reached out to gently lift ur chin, making u look into his eyes. "Hey, listen to me," he said earnestly. "Your smile is unique and genuine, and that's what makes it so special. It's not about perfection; it's about the happiness and warmth it brings to everyone around you, especially to me." He pulled u into a comforting hug, planting a kiss on ur forehead. "I hate seeing you doubt yourself like this. You're amazing in every way, and I wouldn't change a thing about you, especially not your beautiful smile." You felt tears of gratitude welling up in ur eyes as u hugged him back tightly. "Thank you for understanding and for always being there for me," u whispered. He smiled warmly, brushing away ur tears. "Always, my love. I'll remind you every day of how incredible you are and how much I adore your smile, no matter what." After a deep conversation, he suggested a cozy evening of self-care to lift ur spirits. You both snuggled up on the couch with fluffy blankets and soothing music playing in the background. He lovingly applied a gentle face mask on ur face, making u giggle at his playful antics.

Jungwon - body shape

As Jungwon noticed subtle signs of distress, he approached u with gentle concern. "Is everything okay, love?" he inquired, his voice soft and caring. You paused before finally sharing ur feelings. "I've been feeling insecure about my body shape lately," u confessed, ur tone tinged with vulnerability. He listened attentively, offering a reassuring smile and a comforting hand on ur shoulder. "You are absolutely perfect just the way you are," he reassured u, his words sincere and heartfelt. "Your beauty goes far beyond any external appearance. Your kindness, intelligence, and resilience make you truly extraordinary." He then suggested you spend some quiet time together, away from any distractions. You both went for a peaceful walk in nature, enjoying the serenity and beauty around you. Along the way, he continued to uplift u with words of encouragement and admiration. With each step, u felt a sense of comfort. You realized that ur Jungwon's love wasn't based on superficial standards but on a deep appreciation for who u were as a person. In his quiet and steady presence, u found the strength to embrace ur body with newfound confidence, knowing that u were cherished and valued just as u were. As u walked hand in hand, he pointed out the beauty of nature around u. He gently reminded u that just like the diverse flowers and trees you saw, each with its unique shape and form, ur body was a reflection of ur own unique beauty. "You are like a masterpiece created by nature," he said with a soft smile. "Every curve and line tells a story of strength, resilience, and beauty."

Niki - not feeling worthy of his love

Niki noticed a hint of sadness in ur eyes one evening as you both strolled through the park. Sensing ur unease, Niki wrapped his arm around ur shoulders and asked, "What's on your mind, my love?" You waver, fiddling with ur fingers before finally blurting out, "Sometimes I feel like I'm not enough for you." Niki's playful grin softened into a gentle smile as he pulled u closer. "Oh, sweetheart, you are more than enough for me. You're the melody to my laughter, the color in my world, and the love that fills my heart." You looked up at him, ur eyes searching for reassurance. "But what if I can't always make you happy or meet your expectations?" Niki chuckled softly, brushing a hair from ur face. "My love, happiness isn't about meeting expectations; it's about being together, sharing moments, and embracing each other's quirks. You make me happy just by being you." Tears of relief glistened in ur eyes as u leaned into Niki's comforting embrace. "I love you," u whispered. "I love you more," Niki replied, planting a tender kiss on ur forehead. Niki continued to shower u with affection and playful gestures, reminding u daily of ur worth and importance in his life. Your bond grew stronger as u navigated challenges together, embracing each other's strengths and vulnerabilities. You no longer doubted ur place in Niki's heart, finding solace in your love. In that moment, you knew that Niki's playful nature came with a deep understanding and unconditional love, making u feel cherished and truly enough.

[rylem33]

Death Note

Katrina sat on the edge of her bed, the black book open in her lap. The soft glow from her lamp illuminated the title—Death Note. The name itself had felt like a joke when she first found it, but it wasn’t a joke. No, it didn’t kill people. It delivered a different kind of death.

Katrina knew. She had tested it.

Vicky Adams had been her first. Slim, beautiful, perfect. And now? Acne-covered, her figure bloated, a shadow of who she used to be. Khloe Wilson had been next, her coordination and athleticism stripped away, her vision reduced to a blur. Khloe, who used to glide through life, now stumbled, helpless and awkward.

Katrina’s lips curled into a smile as she ran her fingers over the pages. After writing their names, she had gained everything they had lost. Her skin cleared, her body slimmed down, and her vision sharpened. 

Tonight, she was ready to use it again. There was another name she had in mind, Laura Montegro, a girl from school who had always looked down on her, just like Vicky and Khloe. Everything was prepared when the knock came.

“Katrina, open up!” Erin’s voice came through the door, sharp and urgent. Katrina froze, her heart skipping a beat. 

Another knock, harder this time. “I know you have it! The book!”

How does she know?

Katrina’s grip on the Death Note tightened.

The doorknob rattled, and then Erin shoved her way inside, her face pale and panicked. “Katrina, please, you don’t understand what you’re doing.”

Katrina stared at her, the book still open in her lap.

“You found the book,” Erin continued, her voice trembling. “I thought it was gone. I thought no one would ever find it again.”

Katrina blinked, confused. “You… you knew about it?”

Erin nodded, stepping closer. “An old friend of mine had the book years ago. She thought it would solve all her problems, but it destroyed her.” Her voice softened, almost pleading. “The book gives you what you want, but it takes away something too. It changes you. You don’t realize it yet, but you’re losing yourself.”

Katrina’s mind raced, but Erin’s words felt distant, unreal. Losing myself? She thought about the power she had felt after writing Vicky’s and Khloe’s names, the way her life had shifted in her favor. It didn’t feel like a loss. It felt like winning.

Erin moved closer, her eyes searching Katrina’s. “Please, listen to me. I’ve seen what this book does to people. It makes you cold, unfeeling. It strips away your compassion until there’s nothing left. You’re not a bad person, Katrina. You can stop this before it’s too late.”

Katrina hesitated. She wanted to believe Erin, wanted to, but then she thought of all the years she had spent invisible, mocked, ignored. She had the power to change that.  To be somebody.  

“I wasn’t planning on using it on you,” Katrina said quietly, her voice almost a whisper. She glanced down at the book, her fingers lightly tracing the edge of the next blank page. “I had someone else in mind.”

Erin’s face paled further, “What? I’m trying to help you.”

But as Erin stood there, pleading, something shifted inside Katrina. The more Erin talked, the more it became clear to Katrina. Erin wasn’t afraid for her. She was afraid for herself. Afraid of losing her place at the top, afraid of the power Katrina now wielded. Erin was always the nice popular girl.  Always had everything.  Good grades and tons of friends.  All because of those perfect breasts and that butt.  That round, pert butt.

And now, Katrina thought, I can take those from her.

She lifted the pen, her decision made in an instant. Erin’s eyes widened in horror as she watched Katrina’s hand move to the page.

“Katrina, no—” Erin’s voice cracked as she rushed forward, but it was too late. Katrina spoke each word as she wrote, sealing Erin’s fate.

“Erin Fitzpatrick,” she said slowly, savoring each syllable. “Large breasts. Perfect round butt…”

Erin’s hands flew to her chest, her face crumpling with panic. “No… please, don’t…”

“…gone.”

The moment Katrina finished writing, Erin’s body convulsed, as if the life was being drained from her. She gasped, clutching her chest as her breasts began to shrink, flattening beneath her hands. Her hips, once curved and round, lost their shape, narrowing and shrinking as her figure withered. The once-perfect body that had been admired by so many was reduced to nothing.

Erin fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. She clutched at her chest, sobbing as she felt the last remnants of her beauty slip away. “Please… stop…” she whimpered, her voice broken.

But Katrina didn’t feel anything. The compassion that might have stopped her before had already slipped away, consumed by the power the book gave her. There was no going back now.

At the same time Erin’s body withered, Katrina felt her own body transforming. Her chest swelled, her breasts growing fuller, pressing against the fabric of her shirt. Her hips widened, her once-flat butt rounding out into the perfect shape she had always envied. She ran her hands over her new curves, her lips curling into a satisfied smile.

Erin collapsed fully onto the floor, sobbing quietly, her body shrunken and pitiful. Katrina barely glanced at her. She didn’t need to. She had everything she wanted now.

Without another word, Katrina stood, the Death Note still clutched in her hand. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, admiring the way her new body filled out her clothes.

Katrina walked out of the room, leaving Erin behind, broken and powerless. The world felt different, lighter, and she smiled to herself.

Now, who’s next?

[notsominx]

<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3

𝑪̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒔̲̅𝒐̲̅ 𝑲̲̅𝒂̲̅𝒎̲̅𝒐̲̅

<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3<3 <3

Unprotected sex, Fem! Reader, Soft/lazy fuck, Sex with plot?

Just imagine how it may be, you two got intimate the first time. Choso taking his time with you, despite wanting to rag doll you, he just wants to be as gentle as possible.

He wants you to enjoy it as much as him; asking questions like: “Is this alright? My love, do you like it when I do this?” His voice is much softer from what you’re use to. His fingers felt so enticing, inching across every bit of skin, curve, body acne or birthmark. He touches ALL of you. He wants you to feel amazing.

“I can’t help myself…I’ve been wanting this.” He’ll whisper in your ear. You smile in response, feeling elastic. Slowly but surely each of your clothing has come off. You can’t help but stare at his broad body. You can feel his warm callousness hand guide you to comfort.

You get to admire him entirely. Not just for his naked body in front of you, but the compassion he gives, just more than enough to make your heart beat faster. Choso eyes stare at you so fondly. The feeling you give him, he wants more. He wants you to know how much you mean to him. He feels like his actions would never be enough, his words not too expressive, yet you know his heart and he knows yours.

Slowly he leans back down, kissing you again. Unlike the first time, this one was heavier, needing. His hand trails lower to your thighs, gripping lightly as he spreads your legs open. Choso's brown throbbing tip teases against your folds as he is focused on kissing you.

You bite his bottom lip when he finally pushes himself into you. Inch by inch, stretching you out painfully good. He was so thick, his veins grinding into your gummy walls. You trace the scars on his back and he quietly moans. Soon he began his thrust. Both of you moaning from the slow yet perfect pace. He rubs against your sensitive places making your cunt throb, sucking him in place in your heat. "Ngh...ha..you feel so good..." He moans.

You warp your arms and legs around him, pulling him closer to you. Mating position might be your favorite to feel him close, the passion that comes off of him. Everything Choso does is so cute and it turns you on more. The both of you were just there, fucking lazily and compassionate. Your hands touch his hair, making him more sensitive and his kisses trail to your neck, marking you in the way he wants. His teeth and tongue felt so good on your skin, leaving tinges from your neck to your aching pussy.

Choso's thrust becomes more frantic, his cock grinding into you more and more. Your moans become louder, saying his name repeatedly. Sweat forms at your forehead as he held your hips tightly, muttering: "Sorry...ah...more...I want...mmore of you." He's very vocal about what he desires. Your nails lightly dig into his back, your hips moving along with him.

Soon, you were gushing around him, your heat pulses. Yet he doesn't stop. His thrust steadily sped up, carrying out your orgasm longer. Even after he came, he kept going. His and your moans echo with the sound of your hips slapping together.

It was overestimating, yet he didn't want to stop, neither did you want him to. Choso kept pounding you, telling you how much he needs you around, and how much he adores you.

With all your heart, you can't get enough of him, neither can he get enough of you.

[vladdyissues]

Thinking about Vlad spending the early to mid 80s in the hospital, at the height of the AIDS epidemic. Alone. Sick. Weak. Likely kept in the same isolated ward as AIDS patients while doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with him. Trapped in a hospital bed, gaunt and frail, muscles atrophying, blisters of ecto-acne on his skin resembling the lesions of HIV sufferers. Doctors testing him over and over again because he "fit the profile" and they didn't believe his claims that he hadn't had unprotected sex with any men in the last year. Being treated as if he did have AIDS, which meant he was treated poorly, like a second-class citizen. Seeing the fear in the nurses' eyes every time they came in to take his vitals. Their reluctance to touch him. Meals left on the floor outside his door. The discrimination and disdain he faced, the negligence, the lack of compassion. The sad, strange kinship he felt with the gay men he shared the ward with.

The promise he made to himself to never ever be this powerless again.

[is-the-fire-real]

'Reminder that "punch a nazi uwu" leftists utilize Nazi rhetoric to justify punching Jews.

It was never about punching Nazis; it was about getting social permission to punch.'

It was this very mentality that drove me away from considering myself a liberal anymore (I AM VERY MUCH LEFT LEANING, I DIDN'T DECIDE TO BECOME CONSERVATIVE JUST TO BE CLEAR. I just don't feel like those spaces have any intrinsic safety any longer). It feels like so much of western leftism has become about "punching up". I don't think it's about compassion or concern anymore, it's about finding the "right" targets. And so often that was just used as a way to excuse bigotry. I'm a goy but I noticed this on a personal level plenty with people identifying as feminists, they'd be perfectly okay saying something unquestionably sexist, as long as "white women" was attached onto the front. It's very much the same with shaming people over physical features that others may have, as long as the individual person is "bad enough" it doesn't matter if wide foreheads or big noses or acne are features many people have and would feel hurt by seeing them used as an insult, because they're only "really" directing it at "one of the bad ones"

So, I'm going to link to this piece again because it's been embarrassingly useful, and explains why I say things like "pretending to believe" despite their clunkiness. For new material, I hope you don't mind that you have accidentally triggered a massive unskippable cutscene, but you tapped into a few things I have been pondering and I'd like to take advantage of your observances to add my own.

Part of what you're discussing here, which I agree with, is that toxic slacktivists pretend to believe that they are Good People Doing Good Work. They are Bad People and their work is Bad Work, but if they all get in a group and pretend together that it's Good, then that's almost the same as being Good, right?

Another worthwhile aspect of what you're discussing is something I became aware of in the aftermath of the collapse of Occupy Wall Street. One commenter on a liberal blog I still follow lamented that mass protest never seems to accomplish anything, and how the millions of people who turned out for OWS protests should have affected more political change. Considering most of them could also vote, write to representatives, etc., something other than littering and arrests could've been done.

Another commenter pointed out that he had personally been at most of the anti-Iraq War protests, including the largest worldwide protest on 15 February 2003 (6-10 million estimated participants). But most of those protesters did not agree with each other. There were at least four major coalitions of antiwar protesters showing up then and thereafter. The ones he listed were:

"Just war" advocates who believed the Iraq War was unjust.

Total pacifists who believed all armed conflicts are unjust, and therefore the Iraq War is as well.

Right-wing bigots who believed a war might potentially benefit those they thought of as religiously or ethnically inferior and subhuman.

Xenophobes, both left- and right-wing, who believed "the US can't be the police of the world" and that any action taken outside USian borders was immoral.

Imagine four people with these beliefs in a room talking about the Iraq War... then bring up the war in Ukraine to them and see how fast the coalition falls apart.

"Well, the war for Ukrainian liberation is a just war," says the just-war advocate. The pacifist starts to scream "HOW COULD YOU DEFEND ANY ACTION THAT MIGHT LEAD TO CHILDREN DYING, YOU MONSTER!". The right-wing bigot says they support the war, too--on the side of the ethnically and religiously superior Russians. And then a left-wing xenophobe says we're wasting money that should be supporting American workers and uplifting Americans out of poverty instead of buying new bombs for Ukraine.

And your "antiwar" coalition collapses, with the pacifist wandering off to agree with the xenophobe while the just-war liberal and the right-wing bigot scream at each other pointlessly and without resolution.

This is one of the wisest breakdowns of human behavior I have ever discovered:

Any coalition of people is made up of many sub-coalitions who only temporarily agree on a single aspect of a single issue. Making sure the group does not collapse prematurely is the true, unsung labor of movement maintenance.

To be real, it's much easier to let one's coalition collapse and scream about how The Menz, or The CIA, or Greedy Capitalists, or The Jews artificially forced your group's collapse than it is to admit that one might just suck a big one at coalition building. This is especially true among leftists, who are sometimes anti-hierarchy and frequently fall for populist, anti-expert nonsense. Having a leader means you're suggesting someone should have authority, and a lot of leftists are allergic to that suggestion.

Moreover, though, a lot of "leftists" are "leftists" but only agree with one or two aspects of leftism.

To use your feminism example: I have absolutely seen feminists who think they can be misogynists so long as they say "white" before they say "woman". I mean, who can even argue? I have also seen feminists who think they can be gender bioessentialists so long as they're doing it towards "men" (a category which includes a lot of people who neither look like men, nor live as men, nor benefit from male privilege). I have seen feminists who think they can call themselves "trans allies" while consistently ignoring, degrading, and dismissing the concerns of anyone who isn't a binary trans woman. Etc.

The thing is, they are all feminists. What makes someone a feminist, at bottom, is the acceptance of and opposition to patriarchy. That's it. It's similar to how what makes a person a Protestant Christian is the acceptance of Jesus as their Lord and Savior--you might need to do one or two things to be considered a part of a specific branch of Christianity, but all you need is that one specific belief about that one specific idea. There's a lot of bunk about how "you can't be a REAL Christian unless you do X" just like there's bunk about how "you can't be a REAL feminist unless you do Y", and it's all bunk.

There are people who might be really bad feminists or Christians, but that's not the same as not being feminists or Christians.

So, the coalition of leftism has several sub-coalitions who actually despise each other. Here is my proposal for the sub-coalitions. (Please keep in mind that I am not defining groups by how they define themselves, but by the far more useful metric of their actions.)

Liberals who agree with leftist economic thought, but strongly disagree with leftist conclusions regarding violent revolution. Liberals do not have time for online arguments and superficial action. They are generally participating in protests, running for office, writing postcards to advocate for candidates, informing voters, and working within the system for positive change that alleviates suffering. They are pro-expert but opposed to a vanguard party due to its inherent authoritarianism.

Tankies, whose primary interest in leftism is authoritarian. They oppose capitalism and support violent revolution because they imagine themselves as the vanguard party who gets to control everything when the revolution comes.

Anarchists, whose primary interest is opposing hierarchy. They want to burn down the system because it is a system, and frequently become angry and defensive if you try to ask them any questions about what would be built out of the ashes.

Progressives, whose primary interest is opposing liberals. They also oppose capitalism; they are, like tankies, positioning themselves as the vanguard party because they are already in political power. What makes them Not Tankies is that they care more about sticking it to "the Dems" than they do about actually being the vanguard, opposing capitalism, or achieving anything of worth or meaning politically.

"Red fash", who used to be called "beefsteak Nazis". They say all the right things regarding violent revolution and economics/capitalism, but they only believe what they believe for the sake of their specific ethnic group and nation (frequently, white and USian, but this is extremely popular in Europe too). IOW a red fash wants the vanguard party to only have whites of a specific ethnicity in control of the revolution; they only want universal health care for "their" people, that sort of thing. Some red fash are actual Nazis cosplaying as leftists, but some are just really, really, REALLY bigoted leftists.

Whether we like it or note, the acceptance of armed, violent revolution as a Good Thing means that leftism has always regarded punching up and violence as a necessary component of leftist thought. This is not a perversion of Real Leftism. This is leftism. If you think revolution is good and necessary instead of a terrifying possibility, then you also think punching up is okay; it's just a matter of who is Up and who gets to punch.

Of the five sub-coalitions I described, only one has rejected violent revolution--and it's the one all the other leftists accuse of being right-wing. And interestingly enough, only liberals are habitually accused of secretly colluding with the right... when red fash are natural allies to the right, and when all other forms of leftists openly ally with right-wingers so long as they say the right things about economics. (See under: "After Hitler, us" leftists, left-wing Trumpistas who think they'll rule the ashes after Trump burns down the current system.)

And if you believe in violent revolution, then (let me be facetious for a second) what's the problem with making fun of your political enemies for being ugly? If we believe Steve Bannon is a Nazi, aren't we obligated to stop him by any means necessary, and doesn't that include mocking him for his alcoholism? Isn't mocking someone for their appearance and intrinsic characteristics mild compared to, say, threatening them with exploding cars covered with hammers? Or retweeting pictures of pitchforks and guillotines?

If we believe Ben Shapiro is an opponent to the revolution we accept is necessary and vital to the movement, then what's a little antisemitism in the name of the people? Don't we have to be bigots to oppose bigots? And--

--oh. There's that horseshoe bending round to the right again.

[gaiasgrimoire]

🪻Herb Spotlight: Lavender 🪻

🌱 Scientific Name: Lavandula angustifolia 🌱

☿ Planetary Association: Mercury ☿

💨 Elemental Association: Air 💨

♊♍ Zodiac Association: Virgo, Gemini ♍♊

💜 Chakra Association: Third Eye, Crown 💜

🪻History and Origins 🪻

Lavender has been cherished for over 2,500 years for its therapeutic and magical properties. The name comes from the Latin lavare, meaning "to wash," due to its use in Roman baths. In ancient Egypt, lavender was used for mummification and perfume. Both the Greeks and Romans utilized its antiseptic and calming properties. Lavender spread throughout Europe and the Americas and became a staple in gardens and medicine cabinets, especially valued for its ability to soothe and relax.

🪻Magical Properties🪻

Protection: Lavender is powerful in spells for psychic protection and shielding from negative energies.

Purification: Burn lavender or use it in baths to cleanse both spaces and individuals spiritually.

Peace and Harmony: It brings peace to relationships and is often used in love spells or placed under pillows for restful sleep and dream work.

Psychic Awareness: It enhances intuitive abilities, making it an excellent herb to use in divination or meditation practices.

Healing: Lavender is a natural healer for both physical and emotional ailments. Incorporate it in rituals for health and well-being.

🪻Medicinal Uses🪻

Relaxation and Sleep: Lavender’s calming scent can reduce stress and promote sleep, making it popular in aromatherapy.

Pain Relief: Apply lavender oil topically for relief from headaches, muscle pain, and minor burns or cuts.

Skin Care: Its antibacterial properties make it useful in treating skin conditions, from acne to eczema.

Respiratory Support: Lavender can help ease respiratory issues such as asthma, colds, and allergies.

🪻Culinary Uses🪻

While lavender is potent and should be used sparingly, it adds a floral note to foods:

Tea: Lavender tea is known to soothe anxiety, improve sleep, and calm digestive issues.

Baked Goods: Infuse honey, cakes, or cookies with lavender for a light, floral flavor.

Seasoning: Lavender is often included in the Herbes de Provence blend, which enhances savory dishes.

🪻Symbolism and Folklore🪻

Lavender symbolizes love, peace, and devotion. In folklore, it was believed to ward off evil spirits and protect those who carried it. Lavender’s ability to attract love and harmony made it a popular herb in love spells and potions.

🪻How to Use Lavender in Rituals🪻

Aromatherapy: Use lavender essential oil in a diffuser to promote peace and balance in your space.

Incense or Smudging: Burn dried lavender to purify your altar or home.

Bath Rituals: Add lavender oil or flowers to your bath for relaxation and spiritual cleansing.

Dream Work: Place lavender under your pillow for restful sleep, lucid dreams, and protection from nightmares.

🪻Deities Associated with Lavender🪻

Lavender is sacred to many deities, particularly those connected to healing, love, peace, and protection. Here are a few prominent examples:

Hekate: As the goddess of witchcraft and magic, Hekate is linked to lavender’s purifying and protective properties. Use lavender in rituals to connect with her for guidance or protection.

Aphrodite (Venus): The goddess of love and beauty, Aphrodite is associated with lavender’s calming and loving energy. It is a common herb in love spells dedicated to her.

Eir: In Norse mythology, Eir is the goddess of healing. Lavender’s medicinal properties make it a suitable offering to her when seeking health and wellness.

Brigid: The Celtic goddess of healing, poetry, and fertility, Brigid is honored with herbs like lavender for their soothing and healing nature.

Airmid: Another Celtic goddess of healing and herbalism, Airmid is linked to lavender for its restorative properties. Use it in rituals to call upon her healing energies.

Quan Yin: The Chinese goddess of compassion and mercy, Quan Yin, is associated with lavender for its peaceful and healing qualities. It is a fitting herb to use in emotional healing rituals.

Artemis (Diana): Lavender is associated with Artemis, the goddess of the moon and nature. It can be used in moon rituals or for protection under her influence.

Hygieia: The Greek goddess of health and cleanliness, Hygieia, is linked to lavender for its ability to purify and cleanse spaces spiritually and physically.

[nahalism]

Do you have any advice for feeling so shitty in yourself pls 🥺 like my skin is so bad at the moment, I’m so so unhappy with my weight gain. I don’t know where to start in fixing it or how to even get the energy to, feeling like this should be enough, but it isn’t. Idek how to explain.

But I’m so unhappy, I feel so ugly and disgusting.

i wish i could climb in your skin and place my own philosophy in it. <3 — this is the thing, lets say you're ugly, your spotty, and your fat, and that that will never change. does that mean you dont deserve love? or to feel good in your favourite outfit? that you dont deserve kindness? or consideration? that you shouldnt be seen as valuable, sexy, worth love, worth affection? does it mean that you should hide and stop showing up in the world in the way you want to?

i can think of a million reasons why that isnt the case. the problem is, any advice i give you in solution to the problems youve stated can only be superficial because the issues your speaking on are on the surface. i could tell you how i get my self together when i feel how your describing, or how i got rid of my acne, how i lost weight etc, but the real issue is beyond the surface. its about how you feel about you

who are you? what is your character? how do you show up in the world? where do you bring value? what are your biggest virtues? how do you combat your biggest vices? do you treat yourself with compassion? do you extend that compassion to others? what does your humanity look like?!? what does your love feel like?— these are the things that make someone beautiful. — and in terms of what is attractive and sexy, its so much deeper than appearances. sure appearance is important, especially in society. i wont ignore that, but society advocates for a whole lot of crazy shit. there are trends, and then there is what is timeless. the essence of what you are is timeless, holding it to the standard of a fleeting trend is short sighted. you have to value yourself for what you are, not what you look like or what what you look like means for how others treat you. only once you have some self respect will your external begin to match, because people who love themselves act lovingly toward themselves. its a ripple effect.

in terms of looks and feeling yourself, which is very important, you have to question, if someone is willing to count all of who and what you are out because of what you look like, is that someone you want? anyone of us could have an accident that changes our appearance forever. what then? what you feel about yourself and how you carry yourself as a consequence, is what makes you alluring. when someone is into YOU (not your shell) and (tmi but..) turns you on, or makes you moan, or sees you happy (!!) that is infinitely more attractive to them than you having the perfect body or appearance. because even the most perfect person is not perfect (& they know it, they just have you convinced that theyre as good looking as they feel or portray themselves to be). literally its all about youuuu. if you cant see that, you will always try to cover you up, so no one else will see it. nor will anyone make you able to see it. you need to step up and treat yourself with some humanity. you are a whole being, created uniquely and entirely complete. completion is perfection.

if u want my skincare routine, or how i lost weight, or literally whatever information im happy to share it. but 100000s of other people already have their routines out there for u to follow. i mean it with the utmost love and respect when i say, u need to start looking at yourself as a living, breathing being with so much to offer and so much potential for growth beyond what you already have to give. have some self compassion. you are beautiful and worth your own love, let alone other peoples. acknowledge yourself before time shows you how blind youre being. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[transnonbinarysupport]

Stanford currently recruiting patients on masculinizing hormone therapy for a study on the treatment of hormonal acne. (As of 10/22/24)

Requirements and exclusions below the cut.

Inclusion Criteria:

* transgender male or gender diverse patient on MHT * on a stable dose of MHT for at least 3 months prior to the study * anticipate being on the same dose of MHT for the duration of the study * have steroid-related acne vulgaris as determined by the investigator with onset or worsening after initiation of MHT * have at least 20 papules or pustules on the face * consistent skin care regimen (topical and systemic medications) for at least 4 weeks prior to enrollment and continue it for the duration of the study (however, note exclusion below that topical steroids on face not allowed for 4 weeks prior to enrollment and during study)\*; * age 16 years old or older * potential participants who are or planning to be sexually active with partners that produce sperm will need to use a medically reliable form of birth control (including but not limited to condoms, intrauterine device, oral contraceptives) before enrollment and during the study unless they have documented surgical hysterectomy, tubal ligation and/or oophorectomy

* Note inhaled steroids are allowed as long as regimen is stable one month prior to enrollment and during the study

Exclusion Criteria:

* changes in topical or systemic anti-acne medications or procedures within four weeks of study enrollment * use of topical steroids on the face within 4 weeks prior to enrollment and during study * pregnant or breast-feeding patients * unable to provide informed consent, follow the protocol, attend study visits, or any other circumstance or condition which the investigator deems may obscure interpretation of results or affect safety of the potential participant.

[shiningthroughpcos]

Understanding Hirsutism: How PCOS Affects Hair Growth

Hello again, and welcome back to Shining Through PCOS! I’m Luciana, and today we’re continuing a topic that resonates deeply with many of us living with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)—hirsutism—and how our hormone imbalances contribute to this challenging symptom.

The Hormonal Connection to Hirsutism

Hirsutism, the growth of coarse, dark hair in areas where men typically grow hair, is one of the most distressing symptoms of PCOS. While it’s not uncommon for women to experience unwanted hair growth at some point, for those of us with PCOS, it often feels like a relentless battle against our own bodies. Understanding the underlying hormonal imbalances can help us navigate this challenge with more compassion for ourselves.

Previously, we discussed how some of the conditions we deal with as a result of PCOS overlap. At the heart of hirsutism in women with PCOS are elevated levels of androgens, often referred to as “male hormones.” While everyone has these hormones to some degree, women with PCOS typically have higher-than-normal levels (Rizvi et al., 2023). This hormonal imbalance is primarily due to something called insulin resistance, a condition where the body’s cells become less responsive to insulin, leading to higher levels within the bloodstream (Barber et al., 2019). Elevated insulin can stimulate the ovaries to produce more androgens, which in turn contributes to symptoms like hirsutism, acne, and irregularities in ovulation (Rosenfield & Ehrmann, 2016).

Understanding the Role of Androgens

Androgens play a crucial role in hair growth, but not in the way we might hope. In women with PCOS, the overproduction of hormones like testosterone can lead to the development of male-pattern hair growth (Mihailidis et al., 2015). Common areas for hirsutism include the face, chest, and back, making it a source of significant emotional distress for many of us (Mihailidis et al., 2015).

I remember grappling with so much embarrassment over the abundance of body hair I dealt with as a child. I felt perpetually frustrated and humiliated in my own skin. It’s a tough battle to handle feelings of inadequacy, especially at a young age when you’re not only worried about your self-perception but also how others perceive you. Many people may tell you it’s “just body hair,” but they underestimate the toll it can take. It affects how you perceive yourself, deprives you of your femininity, and impacts your ability to relate to others and feel a sense of normalcy and autonomy. It’s so much more than just hair.

For many women, including myself, it goes beyond mere appearance; it’s about how we feel in our skin. The pressure to meet certain beauty ideals can lead to feelings of shame and isolation, particularly in visible areas where hair growth can’t be ignored. It's vital to remember that these feelings are valid, and seeking support—whether through friends, family, or professional help—can be an important step in managing the emotional toll of PCOS.

Finding Hope in Treatment Options

While hirsutism can be a challenging aspect of living with PCOS, the good news is that effective treatment options are available. Laser-Based Hair Reduction (LBHR) has emerged as a popular choice for many women looking to manage excess hair growth. However, it’s essential to remember that LBHR targets the symptoms, not the underlying hormonal imbalance. Combining this treatment with lifestyle changes and, in some cases, medications like anti-androgens can create a more comprehensive approach to managing hirsutism (Narang et al., 2018).

As a student dermal clinician, I believe it is crucial for service providers to be as transparent as possible. While LBHR is an excellent treatment for addressing the rate of hair growth, length, and density, it is not a simple fix. It becomes even more complex with how LBHR is marketed as “permanent removal” when it is, in fact, “permanent reduction.” This requires a multidisciplinary approach, which can be a lengthy process. Providers must understand when a client needs this comprehensive approach and when to refer patients for aspects of a condition that may be outside our scope of practice.

Unfortunately, patients are often taken in without understanding the complexity of their condition and are not encouraged to seek medical advice regarding their hormonal levels. It’s essential for providers to discuss all aspects of PCOS instead of offering LBHR as a mere band-aid solution.

In future posts, we’ll delve deeper into these treatment options, discussing their benefits and limitations while emphasising the importance of a tailored approach for each individual.

Luciana ᥫ᭡

References

Mihailidis, J., Dermesropian, R., Taxel, P., Luthra, P., & Grant-Kels, J. M. (2015). Endocrine evaluation of hirsutism. International Journal of Women's Dermatology, 1(2), 90-94. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijwd.2015.04.003

Narang, G. S., Jasleen, J., Kaur, J., & Kaur, T. (2018). Cutis vertices gyrate: A case report. International Journal of Contemporary Pediatrics, 5(4), 1693. https://doi.org/10.18203/2349-3291.ijcp20182592

Rizvi, M., Islam, M. A., Aftab, M. T., Naqvi, A. A., Jahangir, A., Ishaqui, A. A., Iqbal, M. Z., & Iqbal, M. S. (2023). Knowledge, attitude, and perceptions about polycystic ovarian syndrome, and its determinants among Pakistani undergraduate students. PLOS ONE, 18(5), e0285284. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0285284

Rosenfield, R. L., & Ehrmann, D. A. (2016). The pathogenesis of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS): The hypothesis of PCOS as functional ovarian hyperandrogenism revisited. Endocrine Reviews, 37(5), 467-520. https://doi.org/10.1210/er.2015-1104

[pickingupmymercedes]

Girl, Lewis fashion week is back and the compass is pointing south, omg I'm dying, plus he's using that safety pin that has become enemy number 1. And then there's him looking way too demure covering his abs, you're not like that Lewis you're a slut and we love that

RIGHT?!?

Like, Sir, why are you acting all shy NOW?! We've all seen way more, drop that safety pin??

The compass... His compass always points south to me 🫠🤤

Also that acne jeans 🤌🤌🔥

[meatcrimes]

Nineteen years. That’s almost two thirds of my life you’ve been gone. I’ll never forget the hot pavement on that sunny, unusually humid July day. I forgave you for this years ago, but if you had known your death would have been a catalyst for so much trauma and pain for your entire extended family, would you have been more careful?

Look at us, those of us who are left. Look at your brother, your daughter, your surviving son. Look at what they’ve overcome in the past nineteen years. Look at me, your niece, and my brother, your nephew who you never got to meet. Look what we’re still trying to overcome. I no longer blame you for the actions of other people done in the wake of your death, but the timeline shifted that day, and whatever track we were on before veered into the wrong lane at 100mph and ever since we’ve been picking up the pieces. I can’t say we would have been better or worse off if we hadn’t lost you, but I can say we all wish you were able to walk your daughter down the aisle at her wedding. Walk your foster son down the aisle at his wedding, because it became legal in 2015 for him and his husband to marry. You had no idea he was gay, did you? Neither did he for many, many years. And the trauma he experienced from your death influenced his own death in his early thirties. Now, you both left widows behind. You have more in common now than you ever did in life.

Look at your daughter, you probably won’t even recognize her, and not just from the weight loss. She’s now a devout Catholic, in a loving marriage with a man who values and respects her, with five beautiful step daughters that call her “mom”. It wasn’t easy for her to get there. She went through far too long of believing herself unworthy and unloveable, and far too many boyfriends who saw her the same way.

Look at your biological son. He’s in the national guard now, making something of his life and what has been left behind. He simultaneously never grew up and grew up all too fast, a lot like me. He doesn’t remember what your voice sounds like, and I wish I could transfer my memory of your voice into his mind. It isn’t fair that I remember your voice and he doesn’t. Really, none of this is fair, never has been, never to anyone. Your generation may have said “Life isn’t fair” with the connotations of “so there!”. Often a justification of their mistreatment of others. But us, we hear it in a different pitch. We hear “life isn’t fair” with “but with compassion and community we can bridge the gaps, even if we can’t close them”.

I don’t remember where I was going with this. I’m sitting in my old room at my dad’s house that he owns, that he bought with money he earned in a career that didn’t exist nineteen years ago. We live in a small town thousands of miles from our ancestral land, in a climate my body will frankly never get used to. I was built for the desert, biologically designed for the Great Basin region. Last time I went back, my anxiety was nearly gone, my acne cleared, my hair didn’t need any styling or products beyond a brush and shampoo. My thyroid condition was getting better at a faster rate than it was before. I thrived in Nevada. I am a Western Shoshone woman. You were a Western Shoshone man, no matter how much you or anyone else ignored it, or explained our genes with ancestry we didn’t share. Las Vegas is haunted ground now. My father plans on never going back, because it reminds him so much of you. And me? No matter how badly I want to return home, it’s not home anymore. It hasn’t been since we lost you. And I don’t think I can rebuild what was destroyed.

[feelingsareforweak]

I have seen a lot of Irondad and spider son aus which are great cures my depression, reduces my acne all that jazz but listen,

Peter parker! Tony stark science clone, like maybe somebody (cough sheldra/ oscorp cough) gets wind of Howard stark having a special place to store his brand new super soldier serum ("you will always be my greatest creation tony") and like somehow they like get tony's blood/semen to make a perfect soldier, test tube babies made and experimented on (bonus if results in horrifying diseases, body defects, cross animal genes showing up etc etc) and then a stark dna is brought and baby is made and it kind of results in okay baby? Like a human looking baby, no genetic deforms or serious genetic defects AND has a very active brain activity for something not even 6 months old but u know the baby is kind of weak and under weight and has tons of allergies maybe diagnosed with long term asthma and other normal defects found in normal babies but not in the experimenter so scientists are getting so excited that they are so close to getting perfection that next one is on but somehow they get bursted? Idk what happens but in the end two of the main scientists end up with that baby who like in the end up decide to raise the baby to see what may actually happen to this baby and also like to kind of avoid suspensions so two birds in one stone or more like two problems in one baby raising

The baby is named Surprise Surprise you got it right Peter and to avoid suspensions Mary marries Richard and like move in near his brothers house where they often take peter to baby sit along with his wife may cuz they are often busy with work and all that jazz so peter never really knows his parents or his condition at all

In the end after their death all he knows they were never there for him and ben and may were always his parents anyway

Fast forward to peter getting a spider bite and ben dying and becoming spiderman but tragedy tragedy may dying within a few months so during cps evaluation he finds tones of file about himself and getting an identity crisis cus he is a genetically modified a goddamn tony stark clone who going by the files should not be in any way alive but he is. Peter is both horrified fascinated and disgusted with himself and having a quater-life crises at this and kind of like spirals?

(I mean not really but mild horrified fascination that he is a clone!! of Tony Fucking Stark!!!! And he has genetic mutations!!! Enhanced abilities!!! Cuz ill be real if he is a bit on the animal side he may not really get human morals and shit, I want him a bit more on animal side here like he is sunshine daisies but not really understanding of concept of human moral compass cuz his brain was experimented on early and his iq is size of fucking mount everest and he is bored in high school)

Fast forward six months of foster care with ned and post civil war era where Tony doesn't recruit him cuz spiderman started late and is not really on his radar where SI is giving out free scholarships partnering with MIT, Harvard and other big college names that i have not researched enough to name rn and peter applying to it.

Cue ppl being horrified of this pint sized kid blowing all the tests and exams out of the wind and being like this is so freaking easy wtf is this what college teaches nowadays I don't even want to go to college if this is what it is. Scientists are screaming, professors are crying And some of the ug students are throwing up cuz like that was one of the toughest tests I have ever studied for and written in but this chilli sized horrible puns shirt kid comes and does this what even is his life now!???

Now this small packet is blowing college courses like one blows the wind and obviously this gets Tony's attention and somehow he gets roped in mentoring this kid but he is fucking hot mess who has 101 health problems and don't even ask bout his mental or emotional health okay but somehow he agrees okay

Now Peter is in foster care and doesn't want ppl to know he is spiderman (here spiderman is kind of criminal, he steals, he threatens and blackmails ppl but he also saves ppl in broad daylight, helps tourists find directions, helps grandmas cross rides, climbs trees just to save kittens stuck up there like a weird mix of vigilant, assassin and hero who is never known to kill but always subdues cuz he learned that human lives are precious that needs to be preserved after taking away his only source of maral compass and care and love after discovering his science experiment of existence ) so he graduates high school at 14 and gets bachlers from MIT, Harvard, Cambridge in STEM subjects with the young minds programme at the age the age of 15 and is on fast track of getting atleast 5 phDs by the time is of age to vote.

Tony is fascinated and worried for this kid who has managed to become his personal intern but his heart melts everytime he sees hero-worship in the kid's eyes for him, The hot mess™ Tony goddam Stark cuz it doesn't matter if he is a Tony Stark clone, he has always looked up to him from the time he remembers and Iron Man had saved him in Stark Expo okay don't judge him he is still 79.45% human and technically Tony Steak shout be his father anyway

Somewhere along bi weekly lab days and constant checking on this kid who is a star wars fanatic, makes absurd snack monstrosity to eat, is a total lego nerd and being a weird teenage mess this orphan of a kid makes his way along his non existent heart and discovers his genius of an intern is a stupid teenage dressed in onsie that fights crime on daily basis while making bad jokes and help everyday ppl but spiderman maybe loved by Queens but spiderman is kind of criminal so Ironman publically takes Spiderman under his wing.

After all this shit imagine Tony discovering his wayward son's origin story and imagine Tony being emotional mess but Peter is like its okay I'm alive I'm fine but tony is like no its not. It's a rollercoaster mess of emotions, discovering what it means to be a human, forming relationships, real life communication and identity crisis where in the end its kind of ambitious with morgan being born and all that Irondad and Spiderman fluff and jazz

[msallurea]

Darling the world is gonna hate you suck it up

Not before you guys jump me just hear me out!! Something I've noticed time and time again even within myself is that majority of the things we want, the things we hate about ourselves, the things we love about ourselves, etc literally come from just what the world viewed us as.

For example, black girls are the biggest target when it comes to my statement. We have been brainwashed to believe time and time again that our ethnic features, our lingo, our presence, our aura, our skin, etc have all been deemed as "unattractive" or "ugly". Girls and even guys who have a certain tone or accent to there voice (I'm specifically talking about my southern brothers n sisters here) is seen as "aggressive", women with deeper more stronger voices are seen as "manly" that quite literally takes away women pure sense of femininity!! Our bodies, if your skinny your unattractive your called things like sticks n whatnot (yall know), if your fat you're unattractive, if your body is curvy the internet may try to deem u as attractive but then we go out in the real world you're now not only oversexualized but now your body is what defines who u are as a character they dont even care to know if you're nice or not they will judge based off your physique entirely saying names such as "slut" or "whore" or even going as far as assuming your ran through or something when alot of times that's not true at all. A more softer approach such as acne, having a big nose, if your hair is short or even if it's long but looks a certain eay(yall know what I'm talking about), you even liking a certain color now since it isn't trendy all of a sudden it's an "ugly color" be so fucking fr😭. Pink and purple were the top 2 prime colors that fit this description perfectly.

My point is this, I want you to take a realllllll good look at yourself in the mirror, think of everything you absolutely hate about yourself write it out if u need to absolutely every little thing. Now look at all those things you hate about yourself and ask yourself "Do I genuinely hate all these things about me? Or were these things I was TOLD to hate about me?" Soon enough you will eventually began to realize that a lot of those things you THOUGHT u hated about yourself, were actually opinions coming from someone else NOT YOU!! You don't like the way you smile? Why? Did someone tell u they didn't like your smile? Or is it your teeth? What's wrong with them? What's wrong with smiling your heart out regardless if u show teeth or not? Absolutely nothing!! Oh someone told you that dressing up in more classy attire rather than fast fashion makes u seem lame?? Oh so now u don't wanna be the guy that dresses like he's a rich and wealthy billionaire but rather something you know every other guy is wearing also?? What was wrong with dressing in a fresh suit or being color coordinated and dress to impress with your layers and your nice button down with the pressed slacks? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!

"Darling, for as long as I am here with you. I want you to learn and understand that this world, this world will hate you, this world will turn its back on you and they won't even have a real reason why but they will. I do not know why the world is this way and why it is so dark and cruel sometimes. But, you are the light the shines above all thos darkness. You are the angel that brings heaven to the hellish parts of the world. The world hates because they can't stand to be next to someone who loves themselves so much and are so secure and accepting of who they really are. Do not limit yourself because of the things the world loves about you that is for normies and you, my child, are not that at all. You are a Queen/King, hand chosen by the most high the God of all God's, to be in this world and bring love, light and beauty to its atmosphere, crafted by love, beauty, intelligence, compassion, empathy, patience, security, fulfillment, kindness, loyalty, discipline, strength, courage and all things divine. Don't you ever lower yourself for anyone in this world except God himself. Fall in love with your creation, be in love with the divine creation that you are just as I, and surely enough, in its own strange and peculiar way the world will also fall in love with you as well. Why? Because what is a world, without you in it? "

-Ms. Allurèa

[fite-club]

Is it normal to have some vanity make you afraid of transition? I see so much rhetoric on here about loving yourself despite potential hair loss, weight gain, etc, and while I can find those qualities attractive in other men I really don’t want them for myself. I’m going to be talking about this extensively with a doctor but tumblr does kinda make me feel bad about having these concerns and still wanting to feel attractive for myself post transition, even if I’ll feel more comfortable in my gender presentation. It’s hard to want to bring things like gaining more muscle, losing weight, etc etc, on a site that can makes you feel like wanting a healthy amount of those things is wrong— so it can be really hard to talk about

THAT IS NORMAL!!! and i get what you're saying with the "this is hard to talk about" thing, i think the explanation is in the "i can find these attractive in other men but i don’t really want them for myself" part. it's hard to dunk on yourself or certain traits without other people like you or with those traits taking some collateral damage. but that's something you should keep in mind-- that you will always be way more judgemental and scrutinizing towards your own body than anyone else ever will (or should).

anyway, your general shape won't change that much (unfortunately for us short kings), and it certainly won't be immediate. the changes happen so gradually that you metaphorically and literally grow into them. it's hard to imagine what you'll look like years in the future, but by the time you're actually there, you'll feel more comfortable with your body than you ever have. it's hard to articulate just how much HRT improves your self-image as a trans person, not even because it's that drastic of changes, but because the changes mean that when you look in the mirror you start to see more of yourself. dysphoria will always be a struggle for us but nothing beats feeling at home in your own skin. that's where the "confidence is attractive" comes in. you MIGHT get male pattern baldness early, you MIGHT gain weight and struggle to build muscle, you WILL get stinky and acne-prone and squeaky-voiced temporarily. so what? none of that shit actually matters if you're an honest person with a decent sense of compassion and self-respect (or at least, working on it). those are the hottest traits a person can have! besides being trans, obviously

[kristinhenderson]

INFORMATION & STATISTICS FOR KRISTIN HENDERSON

“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” ― Rikki Rogers

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Full Name: Kristin Emily Henderson

Nickname(s)/Alias(es): Kris, Krissy (by family only), Emmie (by her mother)

Date of Birth: October 30th, 1984

Age: 40

Gender + Pronouns: Female, She/Her

Place of birth: Northknot, CA

Parents: Adam & Esther

Siblings: She has 3; all younger, Jon, Unnamed Sibling, Grace

Children: Parker

Relationship with family (close? estranged?): She is pretty close with all of her family except her estranged brother, Jon

Pets: None

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5′ 5″ (165 cm)

Build: Slim, athletic build with a toned yet feminine figure

Species: Dragon

Distinguishing Facial Features: High cheekbones, a soft, symmetrical jawline, full lips and a warm, inviting smile

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Usual Hair Style: Shoulder-length hair, often worn straight, in loose waves or pulled back into a low ponytail or bun

Eye Color: Dark Brown

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birthmarks, scars): A warm, olive complexion that has a natural glow

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses): A little anxiety, Bouts of stress, Her knee, an old basketball injury, that acts up now and then

What do they consider their best feature?: Her confidence, athleticism and her legs, toned from years of playing sports

Worst they’ve ever been injured (what, how did it happen)?: During her time playing basketball, Kristin sustained a severe fracture in her ankle, during a crucial game in high school. It required surgery and a few weeks of physical therapy, temporarily derailing her sports career for two months

APPEARANCE:

Favorite outfit: A pair of well-fitted, high-waisted jeans, a sleek, black leather jacket over a simple white tee, and either classic white sneakers or ankle boots with minimalistic jewelry and a smartwatch

Glasses? Contacts?: No

Personal Hygiene: Impeccable and consistently well-maintained

Tattoos? Piercings?: Ear piercings, a cartilage piercing, Two small tattoos; a compass on her ribcage and a small basketball on her ankle

What does their voice sound like?: Her voice is calm, steady, and somewhat low-pitched, with a slight rasp; might speak deliberately, with a tone that conveys both authority and warmth

Accent?: None

Unique mannerisms/physical habits: She has a habit of running a hand through her hair when she’s thinking deeply or feeling stressed; also has a tendency to stand with her arms crossed or on her hips when she’s assessing a situation

Left handed or right?: Right

Do they work out/exercise?: Yes but mostly through sports and streching

BELIEFS & INTELLECT:

Known Languages: English, French, Conversational Spanish

Zodiac: Scorpio

Gifts/talents: An amazing cook, really good at reading people

Religious stance: Spiritual but not religious

Pet peeves: Dislikes inefficiency and procrastination; gets irritated by people who don’t follow through on their commitments or who are unnecessarily loud or rowdy in professional settings

Optimist or pessimist: A realist, with a tendency toward optimism

Extrovert or introvert: Introvert

INTIMACY & RELATIONSHIPS:

Relationship status: Single

Sexual orientation: Bisexual

Ideal mate/qualities they look for in a mate: Someone who is reliable, emotionally intelligent, and independent. Someone who can respect her space and independence but also be there for her emotionally and understand the pressures of her career

Ever been in love?: Yes

What’s their love language?: Acts of Service

Most important person in their life?: Her kid, Parker

VOCATION:

Level of education: Has an M.D. from Columbia University

Profession: Anesthesiologist

Past occupations: Coached a youth basketball team and worked at a gym during college

Passions: Basketball, Medicine, Travel, Also has a passion for mentoring young athletes or medical students

Which is more important – money or doing something they love?: Doing something she loves

SECRETS:

Phobias: Has a fear of losing control

Life goals: Her primary life goal is to provide a stable, loving environment for her child while continuing to excel in her medical career. She also wants to mend her relationship with her brother and maybe find lasting love again

Greatest fears: Failing as a parent and losing the close bond she has with her child; also fears repeating the mistakes of her past

Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her: Once she missed a crucial free throw during a big game, leading to her team’s loss, and it haunted her for a long time, especially since she was the team captain

Something they’ve never told anyone: Kristin has never told anyone that she sometimes regrets leaving her first love, the woman she dated during medical school. She wonders what might have happened if they had tried to make the long-distance relationship work

PREFERENCES:

Hobbies: Basketball, Photography, Yoga, Meditation

Favorite color: Yellow

Favorite smell: The scent of fresh rain on warm pavement; reminds her of playing basketball outdoors in her youth

Favorite food: A classic croissant

Favorite book: When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

Favorite movie: A League of Their Own

Favorite song: Lose You to Love Me by Selena Gomez

Coffee or tea?: Coffee but likes tea to unwind

Favorite type of weather: Crisp autumn days; reminds her of basketball season

Most used word or phrase?: “We’ve got this"

EXTRAS:

MBTI: ISTJ (The Logistician) - Kristin’s strong sense of responsibility, her organized approach to life, and her commitment to her career align with the ISTJ personality. She's practical, reliable, and tends to keep her emotions to herself, reflecting her withdrawn nature. Her dedication to basketball, academics, and later to her career in medicine shows her strong work ethic and discipline, all of which are key traits of an ISTJ

Alignment: Lawful Neutral - Kristin follows a strong internal code of conduct, shaped by her upbringing and personal values. She adheres to her responsibilities, whether in her career or family, but doesn’t necessarily go out of her way to rebel or challenge the system. She does what needs to be done, even when it's difficult, like moving away to escape family tension or stepping up as a single parent after her divorce

Enneagram:  Type 6 (The Loyalist) - Kristin's cautious and loyal nature fits well with Type 6. She’s someone who seeks security and stability, especially after the instability caused by her brother's actions and her failed marriage. Despite her withdrawn nature, she deeply values relationships and is dependable, which are core aspects of Type 6

Celtic Tree: Oak - The Oak symbolizes strength, resilience, and endurance, all qualities that Kristin embodies. She has weathered significant personal challenges, from her family issues to her relationship struggles, and emerged stronger each time. The Oak also represents protection, which resonates with Kristin’s role as a mother and her nurturing yet strong personality

Temperament: Melancholic - Kristin’s withdrawn nature and her tendency to reflect deeply on her past, particularly regarding her brother and her failed marriage, suggest a melancholic temperament. She’s introspective, values stability, and is often serious and thoughtful, qualities typical of the melancholic type

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw - Ravenclaw values intelligence, wit, and a love of learning, which aligns with Kristin’s academic achievements and her career in medicine. Her decision to major in Biology and pursue a challenging medical career speaks to her intellectual curiosity and dedication. Ravenclaws also tend to be independent and value their own company, which fits Kristin's somewhat withdrawn nature

Element: Earth - Earth represents stability, reliability, and practicality, all traits that Kristin embodies. She’s grounded, dependable, and someone who others can rely on, especially in her role as a mother and a doctor. Earth also ties in with her athletic background, as she’s physically strong and connected to the physical world through sports