#about the size and weight of a hamburger honestly

[spindle-and-nima]

Well I didn't think it would happen again but I found another injured bird at my work

Look at what a gorgeous lil fellow this guy is. Sadly has a head injury and some internal bleeding but was decently alert. I took him(?) to a wild life rehab nearby and so we just gotta hope he's doing ok now!

The species is American Woodcock. Look how beautiful that feather coloration is

[mollysdarkthoughts]

Ahhhhhhh! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the plus size reader headcanons. I'm not the orginal requester but can I request the same request with the rest of the Obey Me brothers?

A/n: 🎵Say the word your wish is my command🎵

Thank you guys so much for the positive reaction on my last post, I really appreciate it :)

Remember, if you feel like I wrote this in a way that came out as offensive or just wrong, don't be afraid to let me know! I'm always open to feedback.

Genre: Fluff head canons with a little but of suggestively.

Tw: Swearing because it’s me. suggestive. Mention of bodily autonomy (gender neutral). A lot of fondling and kissing.

`Asmodeus :

Hype man, 100% your body is amazing and gorgeous, and he will let you know that every. Single. God. Damn. Day.

It's impossible to be self-conscious around this man. He will appreciate your appearance till the day he dies. Constant compliments, praise and awe-struck looks will be sent in your direction. This man has one goal on his mind, to make you love your body. It honestly doesn't make sense to him how you can't. Like, you got Asmodeus, the demon of lust, to fall head over heels for a human. That doesn't ever happen!

You are his model (Second to him, because it's Asmodeus; what you expect?) he is dressing you up to the nines any chance he can get. He is parading you out in those expensive outfits and making a point of how amazing you make those clothes look.

Going into a shopping trip with Asmodeus will leave you ten times more confident than you entered. He is pampering you, he is buying you any item of clothing that you want, and when you're wearing it, he will be squealing about how you look incredible and unique and gorgeous and attractive and… You get the idea; he will not shut up about your looks.

When you're alone, he sometimes likes to just sit and stare at you in pure awe, wondering how in Devildom he managed to grab someone as unique as you. He compliments every aspect of your body in the softest, most sweet tone ever because he wants you to take him seriously when he says that you are attractive in the body you were born with.

Beelzebub:

Self-conscious about your weight in front of Beel - I'm going to die on this mountain of hamburgers -zebub? That get's fixed quick.

Does not understand why it's such a bad thing to be overweight. If someone were to confront you about it, Beel would just stand there super confused because what's the issue with muffin tops and rolls? Seriously he wants to know.

Most of the time, whoever confronts you about your weight will quickly leave in fear due to the 6'9 orange-haired demon lord asking him very blunt and direct questions.

Beelzebub runs on a 'the bigger the better' mentality. Like he ain't complaining if you gain weight, since he gets an even bigger lover to spoon! He thinks that your tummy is honestly the cutest thing to him because A) It's where you store the food he makes for you and B) it's soft, squishy, and if you let him, fun to nibble on (Beel will not eat you! He makes a massive distinction between 'friend' and food).

His favourite thing to do is hug you from behind, wrapping his strong arms around your plush sides and look over your head at what you're doing. It's great for him because he gets to feel you in all your full glory. Your skin is incredibly soft compared to his since they're mostly scarred from playing Fangol and also greasy from eating whatever junk he had most recently acquired.

And, of course, he likes laying his hands on your stomach the most. The skin there is soft, and it's his favourite place on the body.

Belphegor:

You know what I'm going to say. You know precisely what this man would like in a plus-sized lover, and frankly, it's insulting that you have to ask (Jokes, love you all).

Of course, you're basically downgraded from 'love of his life' to 'human pillow' as soon as the option becomes readily available. Most of the time spent with this lovable lug is lying on a random surface with his face on your body. He will not move; he will just wrap his arms around you and hit the snooze button.

He has a shared trait with Mammon and Beel: the love for your chest and stomach because they are honestly the most comfortable places to be. Like, burying his face between your tits makes him feel like a baby again, and it's sooooo comforting to just sit there and kiss and nibble.

Your stomach is a go-to place because it's rounded and soft, the basic definition of pillow in his mind. I'm surprised there isn't a huge Belphie shaped dent in after that how long he spends just laying his head on your tummy.

And last but not least, your thighs, oh god, he loves those thighs of yours. The thicker, the better for him. Squishy, soft, plush, and adorable, he would be more than happy to get crushed between them if he were human.

So yeah, Belphegor's physical affection comes from quietly using you as a bed but trust me, he sees you as the god of attractiveness. Your plus-sized body in his mind can only get better, and he would never trade it for a damn thing.

The link to the rest of the brothers is here :)

[strawberry1212]

Kdrama female leads eating a ton is not quirky or progressive?

Ah yes, the mysterious, bottomless, pit that is the Kdrama female lead’s gullet. Even from Kdramas dating back to the 2000s, female leads have had the superpower to eat inordinate amounts of food, usually shoveling it into their mouths before the male lead who shakes his head in wonder and teases her about it. And yet, despite this teasing, this scene is always used as a way to impress upon the viewer that this ability to eat tons of food distinguishes the female lead. She is Not Like Other Girls, who are dainty and stupid and care about how much they eat. No, our female lead is qUirKy. Somehow, eating a ton (usually chicken, beef, and other animal foods, which are tied to masculinity), is treated as a real personality trait that makes her more “real,” more boyishly cool, and unbothered. 

But what purpose does this truly serve?

Overvaluing Masculine Qualities over Feminine Qualities

One issue with this trope is that it falls into the category of women being simply cooler for doing traditionally male/masculine things. This is not real empowerment of women to make their own choices, or for an appreciation of all types of women (women who like pizza and beer AND women who like salads and cute cakes). Instead it puts down other women for being “too feminine,” and places women on a hierarchy, with the most man-like women being at the top.

“She’s like one of the boys, [and therefore worthy]” leaves many women behind, as well as resulting in an under-appreciation of typically feminine qualities. Although this is a simple case of eating choices, this type of pseudo-feminism is the same force that makes society look down on girls who wear “too much makeup,” do plastic surgery, wear girly clothes, like pink, and have traditional feminine interests.

Gillian Flynn in the famous Gone Girl monologue states it better than I ever could:

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want.”

Movies and tv shows only pretend to subvert societal expectations by having a girl that loves pizza, when in fact they are giving into the societal expectation/male fantasy of the cool girl that is worthy because she is like a guy.

Beauty Standards

This trope is more infuriating in the context of the harsh beauty standards towards women, especially in Asia. Perhaps if the female lead was constantly gulping down calorie dense foods, and then actually gained weight, I would find that relatable. That would make her more “real.” But because she does not eat to be more real, but to maintain a male (and societal) fantasy, she maintains her wasp waist and thigh gap while eating away without any care in the world. That is the opposite of relatable. It is downright harmful, because it perpetuates this expectation on women to both be beautiful, but to not care about being beautiful. To be gorgeous, but to be effortlessly gorgeous. If you care about being pretty you are shallow, but if you don’t put effort into being pretty you are worthless. There is no winning for the 99% of us that weren’t born with perfect genes.

I am continually shocked by how tiny these female leads are, and for a long time, I thought they were naturally that way. I assumed that they, just like their characters onscreen, were effortlessly beautiful. However, Youtube channels like my favorite one here, which documents various Korean celebrities’ journeys with eating disorders, shows that that is not the case. For example, IU, one of my favorite idols and actresses, was iconic in her Hotel Del Luna role; her enviable proportions and doll-like features and figure were a centerpiece of the drama’s aesthetics, and her costumes contributed to much of the drama’s buzz. But IU, while being naturally small, not only continuously talks of having to lose weight, but has been one of the few idols to honestly talk about her history with eating disorders. Most other actresses aren’t so honest, but I suspect many are not, in fact, effortlessly beautiful, and put immense work into, and undergo immense emotional duress and eating disorders, to maintain the figures that their characters then pretend to have so effortlessly.

So these actresses are forced, through extreme dieting, to present a perfect vessel of a beauty, that is then passed off in dramas as the result of no effort, and thus the cycle continues in society of women both being expected to be perfect, and also effortless. Kdramas are simply de-stigmatizing eating, when they should be de-stigmatizing having different body types. So women eating a ton is not quirky, it is not progressive, and it does nothing except reinforce impossible expectations upon women. I would prefer a female lead that is constantly worried about dieting and eats little--maybe then we could explore societal beauty standards on women. But as long as we pretend that the issue is not allowing women to eat, when the issue is actually not allowing women to be comfortable and confident in body types that are not stick thin with curves in all the perfect places, we will make no progress.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Reflect

Summary: Jared notices the reader shying away from him and suspects something serious with the way she views herself is going on...

Pairing: Jared x reader

Word Count: 2,600ish

Warnings: language, self-image issues (body dysmorphia), fluff

____

���Baby,” said Jared, scooting closer on the couch. You shrugged him off and felt him shift back. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.”

“No I haven’t,” you mumbled. “I’m tired. I want to head up to bed.”

“Alright,” he said, flipping off the tv. You got upstairs first and into the bathroom, quickly changing before he came in. “You are acting super shady, you know that right?”

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t change in front of me anymore, don’t let me touch you,” he said. “Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?”

“No, Jared,” you said, brushing past him when his hands caught your shoulders. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing!” you said. Jared turned you around and bent down to get in your face. “I hate when you do that. I’m not a kid.”

“I hate when you lie to me,” he said.

“You’re the one that’s lying,” you shot back.

“What did I lie to you about?” he asked. You pursed your lips and glanced down, Jared poking you in the cheek. “What?”

“That you still like me,” you said, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. He scrunched up his face, scratching his head as he stood up.

“Y/N, I sincerely have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said. 

“A few months ago, remember when I finally started working out with you?” you said.

“Yes?” 

“I didn’t get smaller. I got bigger. I gained like-“

“Because muscle weighs more. You put on muscle and maybe you got ‘bigger’ but didn't you even go down a size in some stuff? I still don’t understand-“

“Obviously you don’t,” you said. He stared at you before nodding his head a moment. 

“You think I care about the way you look,” said Jared. “That’s it, isn’t it.”

“You’re the one that said I should workout,” you said.

“So we could spend more time together,” he said. “I don’t give a shit about what you look like.”

“Thanks.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he said, following you out to the bedroom. “I think you have a skewed perception of how you actually look.”

“I can go step on the scale and show you,” you said.

“Exactly. You care what a stupid little number says when you shouldn’t,” he said. 

“This is not attractive,” you said, pointing down at yourself.

“Yes, it is. I like all of it, like I like it more than any other person on the planet,” he said.

“Well I don’t like it,” you said.

“Okay. So we will work on that so you do like you again,” he said.

“I am working on it,” you said.

“Come with me to my session tomorrow,” he said. 

“Jared, maybe I should cut back on the weight training and do more running is all. That’s-“

“Alright,” he said, walking back into the closet. About four minutes later he walked out with a bag full of your sneakers, humming as he went downstairs.

“What are you doing?”

“Cutting you off. You come with me tomorrow and I’ll give your sneakers back, deal?”

“Jared.”

“No. No more until you go and talk to someone, got it?” he said. “Now go to sleep and relax, baby. We’ll get you fixed up, alright?”

“I have never heard of this,” you said, flipping through the booklet in the passenger seat of the car on the way home from Jared’s session. Well, basically your session today at least.

“Body dys…”

“Dysmorphia,” you said, leaning your head against the back of the seat. “I hit every single thing on this, Jare.”

“Which is why I wanted you to talk to someone else, baby,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze. “It’s in your head and that’s okay. Like he said today, exercise and eating right is great but you can’t let it control you,” he said. “You can have a scoop of ice cream and it’s not the end of the world.”

“But you think I look better-“

“I think you should be healthy, that is it. I am throwing away that scale too and you aren’t buying a new one,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” you said after a few minutes.

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I still-“

“Do you let me say I’m sorry when I feel crappy?” he said.

“No,” you said, staring out the window. “But I got it twisted in my head that you cared about how I look more than me and that was wrong.”

“No, it wasn’t. Trust me. I’m not mad at all or anything like that. I want my happy best friend back. That’s it,” he said.

“...can I get a hamburger on the way home?” you asked.

“Whatever you want, baby.”

One Week Later

“Y/N,” said Jared, glancing at you from the other side of the table. “You barely touched your dinner.”

“What are you, my mother?” you said, crossing your arms over your stomach.

“No but I can get her on the phone if you want. I’m assuming you haven’t told your parents about this yet,” he said.

“Jared.”

“You haven’t eaten anything today,” he said.

“My stomach is bothering me. Honestly,” you said.

“Alright,” he said.

“Thank you,” you said as you stood up and started to pack away your food for leftovers.

“Do you want to go sit in the pool?” he asked.

“Maybe just my feet, baby,” you said. He didn’t say anything more as you started to pick up. He changed upstairs into a pair of swim trunks and you wandered outside, sitting on the edge in the shallow end, letting your toes dip in the warm water.

“How’s it feel?” he asked as he stepped in.

“You forgot your beanie, goofy,” you said. He stood up and walked over to you, pulling it down over your head.

“You sure you don't want to swim?” he asked.

“I still don’t like the way I look,” you said. “I don’t want to put on a bikini and stare at myself in the mirror for an hour dissecting how much I hate things that aren’t even really there.”

“But at least you know you’re doing that now which is the hardest part to admit,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. “And I think you’re doing an awesome job so far.”

“I didn’t used to be like this,” you said.

“Baby, you kind of did,” he said. “As long as I’ve known you actually.”

“Really?” you asked. He nodded and gave you a smile.

“I always thought it was something you were managing on your own. I don’t like how I look sometimes either. But I think when I said you should work out with me…”

“My head super overreacted and now I can’t even believe you when you say you still like me,” you said.

“I don’t like you for your body, Y/N. I like you, Y/N, the person,” he said. “In fact I love you, even if you don’t really like yourself right now.”

“You used to pretend a lot when I would say something to try and make you feel better, wouldn’t you,” you said.

“Yeah. But then I stopped,” he said. “You said something once about trying to treat myself the way you treat me. Turns out I’m a lot nicer to myself now.”

“Jared,” you said, Jared humming. “Give me five minutes.”

He nodded and you got to your feet, heading inside and upstairs. You pulled out a red bikini from the closet and changed, walking over in front of the mirror.

“Alright. You know what? This is a cute bathing suit and it looks nice and I used to actually be excited to go swimming with my husband so I am going to start doing that again...and start talking to myself apparently,” you said, shaking your head as you walked out.

Jared didn’t make any comments when you went outside and stepped into the pool with him. He swam over and kissed your cheek but other than that, he didn’t make a big deal out of it.

“Hey, Jare,” you said, floating around on your back in the shallow end after a few minutes.

“Mhm,” he hummed, drifting around somewhere close by. 

“Thanks for stealing my sneakers,” you said. “And calling me out.”

“Kind of my job, baby,” he said. He bumped into your head and you smiled, spinning around and wrapping your arms around him. “Can we hug again?”

“Yeah,” you said, Jared instantly putting his feet down and scooping you up and out of the water.

“You’re perfect, you got that? No matter what,” he said.

“I got it,” you said, your legs wrapping around the small of his back. He held you tight and you smiled when he started to kiss the side of your neck. “Jared.”

“Sorry.”

“No, I missed touching you too. It’s just like...the pool isn’t the most sanitary…” you said.

“I could just make out with you?” he said, a smirk growing in his face.

“We can make out,” you said. 

“Awesome cause you got no idea how bad I want to spend the rest of the night kissing you.”

“Y/N?” yawned Jared from bed a few hours later. You were staring at yourself in the mirror again, frowning when Jared walked in. “Baby. Come to bed.”

“No I was just...thinking how stupid I was. I mean, I’m supposed to have a stomach. Like, I’m supposed to and I’m supposed to have curves and a butt and sure I went down a size but I’m miserable obsessing over the fact I can’t change those things so a number on the scale goes down. I want to enjoy my life again.”

“You’re on the right track,” he said. “You shouldn’t be calling yourself stupid but we’ll take today as a step forward. That’s all you do is take steps forward and then eventually you look back and realize how far you came.”

“Really?” you deadpanned.

“Come to bed, dork. I am looking forward to a good long cuddle.”

Two Months Later

“Lil’ Pads,” said Jensen, wandering outside to your back patio. 

“Doofus,” you said, Jensen chuckling as he leaned over the railing next to you, bumping his hip into yours. “Yes?”

“You doing okay?” he asked. “I feel like this is the first time I’ve seen you in forever. We were starting to think you didn’t like us or something.”

“I was going through something,” you said. He nodded his head and looked out at the yard. “I-“

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to. I’m really good at just being there and not saying much at all,” he said.

“Jensen.”

“Yup.”

“Can you do me a favor? It’s kind of big so you can say no.”

“I’m already saying yes but go on,” he said.

“I have not been feeling...great lately and I’m trying this new thing out where if I’m negative about myself, the people around me call me out on it,” you said.

“Oh, I’d love to do that,” he said with a smirk. “When do I start?”

“Now, I guess,” you said.

“You really want to know when it started?” he asked. You cocked your head, Jensen smiling. “When I met your short ass.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Yes I am,” he said, giving you a side hug and picking you up when the back door opened. “Padalecki. I think this one belongs to you.”

“Thanks,” said Jared, taking you out of Jensen’s arms. 

“Nice to have lil’ Pad back,” said Jensen, giving you a smile before he slipped inside the house.

“He’s gonna mother hen me hard now, isn’t he,” you said.

“Probably. Worse things in the world than having a friend who cares,” said Jared, setting you back on your feet. “Speaking of which, I’m really happy you wanted to have a dinner party tonight.”

“I feel better. I’m not one hundred percent but I do feel normal and not embarrassed about myself anymore,” you said. 

“I can tell you’re getting like your old self again. Part of you will probably always be a bit like this but it’ll be a much smaller and more healthy part of you. Plus you chowing down on a rack of ribs is by and far the most attractive thing you’ve ever done,” he said.

“I do like me some barbecue,” you said.

“The Ackles clan has invited us to dinner out with them Friday to partake in some. If you’re up for it,” he said.

“Sure. I’m even gonna order dessert,” you said.

“Rebel,” he teased, giving you a squishing hug.

“Gross,” said Jensen, grabbing his phone off of the railing edge, pausing as he looked back at you. He leaned in close and you raised an eyebrow. “So you’re all buff now and all and you been MIA for months now and I was thinking...I don’t gotta go kick somebody’s ass or kill somebody, do I?”

“Dude,” said Jared. “If we had anybody to go murder, I would have called you by now.”

“Just making sure,” said Jensen. “Also, tell me what you’re doing cause I’d feel way more comfortable leaving De home alone if she looked like that.”

“Word of advice,” said Jared. “Let Y/N bring this one up to her.”

“What he said,” you laughed. “We’ll save you any headaches.”

“Okay…you sure you’re alright?” asked Jensen.

“Yeah,” you said, giving Jared a hug. “I’m good.”

“Stop being cute. It’s sickening,” said Jensen as he headed back inside.

“Want to go be obnoxiously cute?” asked Jared.

“Tease Jensen again? Obviously,” you said.

“That’s my girl.”

Friday Night

“How’s this one?” you asked.

“It looks great,” said Jared, going through his phone.

“Jared.”

He looked up, eyes a little soft as he looked you over. It was an easy going red dress with a small cutout out in the back. You think you’d gotten it at target for twenty bucks.

But Jared was staring at you goofily, like you weren’t even there.

“That one,” he said.

“You think so?”

“Oh yeah,” he said, walking over and resting his hands on your hips. “You wore this dress on our first date.”

“Points for you,” you teased. “I got good memories of this dress. I want to make some more.”

“Me too, baby. You ready to go?” he asked. You nodded and grabbed your purse from the bed, Jared smiling at you. “Want to check the mirror again?”

“Nope,” you said.

“Proud of you,” he said, kissing your forehead. “Love you.”

“Love you too, Jared.”

______

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

One Year Later: My Life Revolves Around My Heath

http://noelfigart.com/blog/2019/06/27/one-year-later-my-life-revolves-around-my-health 

Last year I had a health scare with a lifestyle component. Never mind that there's a genetic component. Health problems are All Your Fault and you're a lazy bad person for having them, right? Healthy is for the virtuous, and we all know that people with illnesses get them because they're all bad and stuff, right?

*sighs*

Did I Change My Lifestyle to Manage my Blood Glucose Levels?

As a matter of fact, I did make a couple of changes and did get my blood sugar under control. I dropped an a1c reading from 6.0 to 5.5 using two things: a ketogenic diet and an average of 45 minutes of moderate exercise every day. I took this figure from my fitness watch and just took a straight weekly average of how many minutes a day I got my heart rate into the aerobic range. So… pretty accurate for how much I move. This didn't make me skinny. Not even close. While the weight loss was significant, I'm still well into the plus size range. But the goal was never to get skinny. The goal was to manage my blood sugar, and I did. You can manage some health issues with diet and exercise, yes. If you're willing to let your life revolve around it. Know what? I have the luxury of the time and money to do that.

My Life Revolves Around My Health

Is a ketogenic diet a time-consuming, expensive pain in the ass?

Yes. Yes, it is.

And, no. No, it isn't. I mean, the food is tasty. I like bacon and eggs. I enjoy salads. I love a good steak. Strawberries and real whipped cream? Bring it. I like nuts. So, as far as enjoying my meals, heck yeah, I do! I might want to snack sometimes, but I'm not dealing with actual hunger. 

However, I've had to resurrect my bento hobby and adapt it to my diet. See, whenever I'm out and about, I cannot count on a satisfying meal, or need to pay for a really expensive one. Not much in my diet besides nuts is shelf stable! (Most of those "meal bars" marketed as low carb really aren't. At least according to my fasting blood sugar readings!) That drives the price of "convenience" food up. Sure, sure, I can buy boiled eggs and cheese or something, but wow, at over a dollar an egg, I'm better off planning ahead and making a bento. Honestly, this hobby is a lot of why I can tolerate eating a ketogenic diet. 

It also changes how I interact with travel. Bento are great for travel – sort of. Taking a trip on an airplane or a train, it's nice to slip a bento in your bag and go. But meals out become incredibly expensive and you're always wondering how much sugar is being used even in meat sauces and marinades. Cruises? You can handle it, but you can't just, you know, eat a meal. You need to talk to the waiter to make sure what you're getting is okay for you to eat, and you need to be careful about hidden carbs at the buffet. Theme parks? You can get hots dogs and hamburgers without the bun, sure. It's also really expensive. Simple carbohydrates are cheap calories, after all. I don't say this to snark it. I have a whole nother rant on why the abundance of calories isn't the daggone evil people like to put it out to be, but that's for another blog post. 

 Anyway, even though a ketogenic diet is more expensive, I suppose it's cheaper than insulin. But the reality is that insulin may need to be a thing in the future. I'm doing what I can, but at a certain point one's genetics does factor in. It'll be blamed on me not being skinny, of course.

Is Daily Exercise a Time-Consuming, Expensive Pain in the Ass?

Yes. Yes, it is. 

 And, no. No, it isn't. 

 Forty-five minutes a day is a lot of damn time. I'm doing it and to be frank, I'm glad of my fitness watch, as it means that I can wave the data under my doctor's nose as proof that yes, I'm exercising at recommended rates and intensity, and I'm still not getting skinny. 

It's still a big chunk of my day. 

 A short workout is half an hour. On busy days, I'm up at five in the damn morning to get that walk in. Unlike a lot of people, my treadmill was a wonderful and frequently used purchase, even two years later. Expensive? Yeah. I could go outside. Except I live in Northern New England. I don't like to walk in bad weather and generally won't. It's very hard to talk yourself out of a half hour walk on a treadmill in front of your bedroom door. 

 A longer workout is a swim. That's a minimum of an hour in the pool, but you have to add a minimum of a half an hour on either side to get to the gym and clean up after the swim. Expensive? Yes, gyms with pools are expensive. I genuinely enjoy swimming, but the way I go at it is most certainly because of the need to get in large wodges of exercise. 

Do I ever take long walks? Sure. I live near some amazing trails and my husband and I often take an hour for a nice long walk. I find this a somewhat less… irritating use of my time. Hanging out with my husband is important and a walk is a way I enjoy doing it. 

 It's still all about managing my blood sugar. If I skip a day, my fasting blood sugar spikes a couple of days later. Almost a direct correlation. It's why I continue to exercise. 

 Oh yeah, I check my blood sugar every morning.

Concentrating on Health is Distracting

I can't just… have a meal without thinking about it most of the time. I've always been in the habit of meal-planning and cooking, and thank goodness for it. I don't know how someone who didn't plan and cook a lot would handle this. 

How am I going to get in my workout today? That's a consistent question. I know, the idea is that you're supposed to do it just like brushing your teeth. I don't. *shrugs* The reality is that I don't have a consistent schedule. 

 Here's the thing: The mental energy that it takes to get me eating and exercising according to my health needs is mental energy I do not spend on family, work, creative projects or other things. That's real. Perhaps there are people who have unlimited mental energy for all this. The very real reality is that I don't. If I were in a survival situation of some sort – rotten family dynamic, job insecurity or anything like that, I don't know that I could do this. (FWIW, my last two really big projects -- my biggest client is a big healthcare organization that does frequent software implementations -- both saw a 20 lb weight gain. I have no idea what my numbers were as they predated me checking my blood glucose levels and didn’t leave me time to see a doctor.  Ahh the irony....)

 I can see easily how diabetes can be poorly managed from a lifestyle point of view.

So, the smug health-is-a-virtue jerks can suck it.

[rattanachronicles-blog]

Dedicated to my sweet family

SET THE SCENE

I’ve been on my fair share of cruises – Hawaii, Caribbean, and another Alaskan cruise by Holland Cruise lines – and thus, I think I can safely say that I have had enough comparison to write a pretty good review on a cruise ship. The Bliss is the newest and biggest ship to sail the Alaskan waters and I will say it definitely lives up to its ship name. But before I go into the ship, let me give you a snapshot of beautiful Alaska.

Cerulean blue waters with hints of green flow around the gorgeous state of Alaska. The skies alternate between clear blue and a light gray and there is a chill in the air that is a profound welcomed relief from the humid heat of Texas (where I’m from). The air is devoid of heavy pollution and car traffic fumes and every city has its quiet charm. Salmon in every shape and color climb the salmon ladders while bald eagles dominate the skies.

The cold air is contrasted by a hot cup of chowder in chilled hands. One of the little things in life is having your insides immediately warmed by sip of a hot latte. Or being in the middle of a forest surrounded by trees connected together by fairy lights while roasting marshmallows over a large fire.

The most brilliant sharp icy blue glaciers and its pieces float enchantingly and menacingly in the waters. Whales swim by, peaking their heads and showing off their tails as cruisers lean over, awed, with binoculars. Waterfalls bloom out of the sides of mountains with the force of the water creating a thunderous sound.

This state is so breathtaking in every way.

THE BASICS

Time of Travel: July Type of Travel: Family

THE SHIP

Size: While Bliss is definitely not the biggest cruise ship in the world, it definitely appears like the biggest ship on the Alaskan waters when all the ships are parked next to each other at the ports. It’s impressive to see from afar and to walk up to when returning from the city.

We saw so many whales from our cruise ship windows! Not the best photo but I got too excited and eventually put away my camera to just enjoy the magnificent sights

Exterior Décor: The front of the ship is beautifully decorated and my brother and I joked that the artwork definitely invited all the whales to swim up near our ship. I was honestly so surprised by how many whales I saw on the cruise – definitely more than the last time I was in Alaska. The front of the ship is illustrated with the wildlife of the ocean – whales, turtles, and rays. It’s the perfect artwork for a cruise ship.

Interior Décor: The inside of the ship is also tastefully ornamented. In the center of the ship is a gorgeous glass-appearing staircase that wraps around and glitters in the light. The hot tubs are purposefully placed at the tail end of the ship and on the sides so there is a clear view of the ocean. Every room is carefully constructed to its theme.

Service: The staff on the ship is 5/5 stars. They are so incredibly friendly and accommodating and always willing to strike up a good conversation with you but they also know when to leave you alone as well. They always have a smile for you and their response to everything is quick. They all come from different countries around the world and it is fascinating to hear their stories and everywhere they have traveled!

THINGS TO DO ON THE SHIP

Observation Lounge: Located at the front of the ship, this area was one of my favorite areas on the ship. Decked out in large windows showcasing the beauty of Alaska, the lounge is full of comfy arm chairs and the best part? The bar in the middle as well as two buffets of tea time food fully stocked with finger sandwiches, salads, and desserts. On the days at sea, it’s the perfect area to chill with family and friends, play cards, and observe the Alaskan magnificence without being in the cold.

The Pool and Aqua Park: On one of the top decks of the ship is the pool and the incredible water slides on the ship. There is one water slide where you slide down in rafts and there is one thrilling slide that literally hangs over the ocean! There is a fun area where the kids congregate and hot tubs that dot the sides of the ship as well as the rear end. I highly recommend chilling in the hot tubs at the rear so you can see the full view of the ocean behind you as the ship sails.

Race Track: Yes, this ship has a whole level dedicated to a race track where you can race your family and friends either in a single cart or a double seater cart.

TIP: Book your reservations before you get onto the ship! My family and I did not realize that seats were limited so we did not get to try out this part of the cruise.

It does cost a small fee per drive

Mini Golf

Laser Tag: a small fee

Bliss Casino

Video Arcade

Bowling Alley: a small two lane bowling alley. It gets busy really fast! A small fee

Entourage Teen Club: a haven away from the parents – this place has video games, music, movies!

Fitness Center: this fitness center is legit. There is a running track outside and every machine and weight you could possibly need for a week long cruise.

Guppies: A great area for parents and their kids. Many interactive activities

Hair Salon

Plenty of Spas

Mandara Spa and Salon

Spa Salt Room – natural salt caves – halotherapy

Spa Snow Room – an ice cold arctic environment

Spa Thermal Suite

SHOWS

My favorite thing about cruises is the kind of night time entertainment the ship provides meaning the evening shows. I would say my review for this ship’s shows is probably a 4/5 stars in comparison to the other ships I’ve been on. The best shows I’ve seen on a ship still goes to Allure of the Seas, but this ship definitely provides a great entertainment and truly hats off to the hard working actresses and actors!

Happy Hour Prohibition: The Musical – $30 per person. This musical is set in a speakeasy and set in the Prohibition Era. My family and I chose not to see this one just because there was a fee and plenty of other free shows to see

Jersey Boys – such a great show about Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons

Havana – set at The Palace of Lights, this show brings you the beat and culture of Cuba (takes me back to my time in the Cuban capital!)

The great bands on the ship that play across different bars and lounges

Plenty of comedy shows – make sure you book when you get on the ship!

SHIP ROOM

My family of four booked two separate rooms without ocean views. I always encourage people that if you go on a cruise, try to book rooms with ocean views but obviously if it’s not affordable or available, then it is definitely not the end of the world. I only encourage ocean views for two reasons. One, I think it really helps with orientation to time and feeling as though you are not holed up on the ship. A window or a balcony brings light, views, and a breath of fresh air.

But like I said before, if you can’t get a room with ocean views, then it is completely okay too! My family got non-ocean view rooms and we were completely satisfied. The rooms were on the smaller side (but to be expected with cruise ships), but they were clean. The beds were super comfortable and could be put together or turned into two beds. The TV has a huge list of movies to buy but also a great select of TV channels that plays a cycle of movies depending on genre (action, romance, drama).

Nothing better than opening the door to your room and finding complimentary champagne!

BARS AND LOUNGES

There are so many bars and lounges on the ship and they are all excellent. So many options to choose from that I didn’t even get a chance to make it to all of them

Atrium Bar: This is the center of the ship and where a lot of the main ship’s entertainment occurs. There is a stage area and a movie screen where there are nightly movies and hilarious game shows.

Horizon Lounge

Humidor Cigar Lounge

Maltings Whiskey Bar

Mixx Bar

Skyline Bar

Social Comedy and Night Club

Spice H2O – the pool bar

Sugarcane Mojito Bar

The A-List Bar

The Cavern Club

The District Brew House

Vide Beach Club

THE FOOD

The Local: The 24hr pub experience! The two pros of this place is that it is open 24 hrs, the food is free, and there is a great view of the Atrium Bar stage meaning you can eat and watch entertainment one floor below

The Dining Rooms: There are three dining rooms on the ship that you can eat lunch and dinner at. Unlike the other cruises I’ve been on where you had to make reservations ahead of time and to eat at an assigned time, this cruise gives you the liberty to go whenever you would like. Because there are several dining rooms, there is always plenty of space at any time and thus you can dine on your own schedule.

Every day, there is a menu posted outside the dining rooms. You don’t have to look at each of the dining rooms’ menus because they are all the same. The menu does change for lunch and dinner every day

My mom was a bit disappointed that there was no true formal night with a lobster dish as we have found on other cruise ships

The Garden Café Buffet: I have to say that usually I am not a fan of the cruise buffets. The food usually is sub-par, but I have to say I was mildly impressed with the menu at this buffet. My family and I actually ended up eating here more than the dining rooms because of the expansive options and the ever changing menu.

There are hamburger/hot dog stations, Indian food station, a hot food station that changes every day according to the theme, Italian station, cold cuts station, Asian food station, salad station, and a huge dessert station

For drinks, there is a bar and non-alcoholic beverages such as tea, coffee, and different flavored waters

Room Service: This is complimentary and 24hrs a day but there is a service fee!

Restaurants (not complementary)

Ocean Blue – Seafood

Los Lobos – Mexican

Food Republic – Fusion

Cagney’s Steakhouse

Coco’s – Chocolate, Crepes

Dolce Gelato

Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville at Sea

La Cucina – Italian

Le Bistro – French

Q – Texas BBQ

Teppanyaki

The Bake Shop

Starbucks

Tea Time Snacks

Room service juice with my champagne to make mimosas

PROS AND CONS

Pros

The last Alaskan cruise I went on seemed catered to adults, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that this cruise really catered to family and the young kids.

Flexible dining room schedule

Plenty of activities on the ship

Friendly staff

Entertaining game shows that allows most of the ship guests to interact with each other

The buffet food is better than the other cruise ships I’ve sailed with

They have a package that every room gets on the ship – meaning that your price of the cruise comes with every ship getting a certain amount off at each excursion per port or a drinking ticket in which all the alcoholic beverages were free

They were also very big on hygiene and sanitizers

Cons

No main lobster dish

Not a true formal night on the ship (this is a pro or con depending on what your opinion of this is)

Most of the activities on the ship came with a small fee

The room service food was definitely not as good in quality as the rest of the food on the ship

ITINERARY

Detailed itineraries on how to do each port coming soon!

Seattle, Washington

Ketchikan, Alaska

Juneau, Alaska

Skagway, Alaska

Victoria, BC

Basically, I highly recommend this cruise as your first way of exploring Alaska!

Happy Traveling!

— Monica

The Bliss Alaskan Cruise by Norwegian Cruise Line – The Full Review: Following the Whales #travel #travelblog #wander #travelblogger #alaska #alaskancruise #ncl Dedicated to my sweet family SET THE SCENE I’ve been on my fair share of cruises – Hawaii, Caribbean, and another Alaskan cruise by Holland Cruise lines – and thus, I think I can safely say that I have had enough comparison to write a pretty good review on a cruise ship.

[iamsielow]

Them Fats!

Those Damned African Jeans! (Part 2/3)

Part 2: Them Fats: The body interprets the loss of weight -- the usage of fat -- as a "danger" situation.  If you are losing and using up fat, there is some sort of stress on the body and your body reacts to this by -- as soon as you ingest more fat -- MAKING MORE FAT CELLS TO STORE IT IN!

 The fat cell aspects:

 You see, fat cells are like tiny balloons, except these balloons fill with water and -- using the generic term -- also fill with fat. They basically are little fat batteries. You recharge them over and over again. You could also call the fat batteries fat balloons because as they recharge they grow in size; as they fill with new fat they puff up.

 What's even worse is they are re-usable.  You inflate a fat cell with water and fat, then you drain it for the energy, you inflate them again, then you'll drain it again, over and over again.

 So suppose you've been starving yourself all week.  You are starting to trim down and feeling good.  But come Friday you slip and order a greasy hamburger, fries and a large soda. First the body MAKES NEW FAT CELLS! The watch band on your arm begins to get tight.  Then, as your eating slows down, your body decides to reuse depleted fat cells, wherever those cells were last stored.

 You spent all week draining them and trimming down.  But what really happened is that you drained the fat cells of the fat and water they retain. The cells are still there.

 Once the body realizes it needs to store more fat than the new cells can take in, it re-inflates those older cells with the new fat coming in. Argh!

 The point is, once you get a fat cell, it doesn't simply go away!

 In addition to this, they are REALLY easy to make.  Unlike muscle, bone, nerve and most other cells, fat cells can be built using easily found substances and since they work with water, the water tension can help to maintain the cell structure.

 They are VERY simple cells; useful beyond belief.  Easy to make!

 That's the problem: They ARE easy to make!

 So, let's say you ran 10 yards chasing down an apple pie.  You used fat to move those muscles, draining the fat cell and deflating it. But by god, you caught that nasty apple pie and gobbled it down.

 Does your body instantly refill the fat cell?  God no! It makes MORE of them using the new fat and only goes to the recycle bin to use an old fat cell once the new ones have been filled.

 So not only are your old fat cells sitting around waiting to be used, new fat cells have joined them.

 The only good thing is: Fat cells are like balloons.  If you inflate and deflate them often enough, they break down and pop -- the skin of a popped fat cell is made from fat so it is instantly, further recycled -- but once popped the fat cells are no longer around. The parts of popped fat cells that cannot be used get tossed to the waste processing center.  

 Yippee!!

 Unfortunately, as noted, your body tends to make new ones rather than reuse the old ones.  What's the trigger on this?  Honestly?  How fast you eat.

 If you eat slowly, the existing fat cells are used.  If you eat fast, new ones are made.  So as you dive into that seven-course meal, the initial, quick consumption processes tells your body to make as many fat cells as possible because we need to store this stuff.  As you taper off and slow down your consumption, the body says, "well, we are not under any stress, I'll reach for some of the unused fat cells for storage."  As that happens, several start popping and are disposed of but the rest are filled again.

So the old adage about eating slowly has benefits BEYOND making you feel full.  It causes existing fat cells to wear out quicker!  Wore out fat cells are tossed away!

**

Part 1 of 3, Lady Fats:

https://iamsielow.tumblr.com/post/190360454012/those-damned-african-jeans-3-parts-lady-fats

Part 2 of 3, Them Fats :

https://iamsielow.tumblr.com/post/190360504837/them-fats

Part 3 of 3, Eat what Grandma and Grandpa Ate! :

https://iamsielow.tumblr.com/post/190360614502/eat-what-grandma-and-grandpa-ate

**

I Am Sielow, These are my words.

If you'd like to see other items I've posted, look for my blog at: https://iamsielow.tumblr.com/archive

If you like what you have seen and read, please consider supporting me at: www.subscribestar.com/IamSielow

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[afoxthing]

Today I wanna talk about being fat.

Because I’ve been fat for as long as I can remember - even though people have sugar coated it my entire life and called me things like curvy and chubby and hot and a shit loads of things. (Quick side note people: the fact that I’m fat doesn’t exclude the fact that I’m also curvy and hot.) But back to the point. 

I’ve been larger than all of my friends since I was a kid. At first my mother would say that it’s because I was growing faster than they were or that it would pass once I started exercising. When it didn’t change, she started blaming on genetics: our family is larger than other families, we’re never going to be skinny skinny. I just wanna say that I was always fine with my body when I was younger. Honestly. There are pictures of me walking around shirtless, in cropped tops, bikinis, shorts, skirts and dresses everywhere. 

And it was around my 3rd grade that shit started getting bad. Because kids suck. Parents also suck. And when you’re 10 - if you don’t have people around you helping your self esteem be something other than nonexistant, that’s what it’s going to become. I wasn’t laughed at because I made sure to be the scary young lady that would punch everyone in the mouth if they called me fat. But of course they did - behind my back, they did. It’s also weird when all the boys are crushing on all of the girls and you’re just sitting there, laughing and saying you think dating is disgusting anyway. (Nowadays I think this whole shit might be the reason I’m so fucked up when I get into relationships.) 

 And then I hit my teenage years. And mind you, internet, that both my parents are physical education teachers. My mother used to be a professional basketball player and my father a referee. I live in a house where everyone was supposed to be part of the beauty standards when it comes to weight. My P.E. teacher of a mom would say I was going through my “ugly years” because I had acne, I was fat and my hair wasn’t exactly like she wanted it to be. 

I was always overweight. And the fashion industry, my mom and my friends made sure I was aware of that 24/7. Finding clothes that fit was hell, listening to my mom talking about new diets was hell and having to hear my friends calling themselves fat and ugly was even worse. Because fat and beautiful apparently are two things that can’t go together. 

It took me years. YEARS. To get where I am today. I’m not 100% comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes I look down to my belly, full of stretch marks and think that ‘holy shit, this is not attractive at all, right?” because I’m still going through this detox thingy. My arms are large, my thighs are huge and I have stretch marks on my ass. 

But I’m healing. I always loved going to the beach and I had stopped because people are always too rude, but this years I simply said fuck it, bought the prettiest XL bikinis I could find and went to the beach several times. Pool parties included. Buying pants and shorts is still a living hell, but it’s simply because companies don’t understand that a size 46 (in Brazil) has to be different than a size 48. Mind you once I liked a pair of pants so much I wanted two of the same one, so I took those two (same size and all) to try and one of them fit and the other didn’t. You don’t know how frustrating that can be. Also buying coats - I love them more than anything, but if you have arms larger than a Medium, you’re fucked. 

And then this January my mom annoyed the hell out of me saying that I needed to go see a doctor. A specialist even. So I went there, talked to the lady, went through blood tests, hormones test, etc, etc, yada, yada and last Friday I went back so she could give me my results. 

I’m gonna pause here for a moment: The only argument I face when I tell people I’m comfortable being fat - and that they can call me fat, I’m not degrading myself in anyway when I call myself fat - is that it’s not healthy. How dare you call me not healthy when you have no idea what I eat? What I do? Or what my blood test results actually look like? That’s pretty extreme, don’t you think? It’s so annoying that everyone think they’re the specialist in fat people nowadays. 

ANYWAY. I got my results. Turns out I’m the healthiest bean on the fucking planet. Even the doctor was surprised. Every single test she asked for came bad as healthy as possible. She even congratulated me on how healthy I am. I think I might start walking around with those tests on my purse just so I can shove it down people’s throat from time to time. 

There was one problem only: I don’t exercise - which I know is my fault and I miss it like crazy, I’m finding the time to get back at it - doctor and psychologist orders - and my eating habits SUCK. You’re supposed to have at least five small meals a day. I have two. And most of the time one of them is a frozen something and the other is McDonald’s. 

But as you people from the internet can see, the fact that I’m fat didn’t affect my blood test. My veins are not closing, I’m not waiting for a heart attack to happen and I’m also not going to die of diabetes. I’m fat because it happened. Because maybe my family isn’t skinny. Because a million reasons that have nothing to do with people around me. 

And I wish one day people will realize that being fat isn’t a bad thing. Being fat doesn’t make you unwanted, unattractive or not cute. I wish people will realize that cute, fat, hot, curvy, attractive, confident, happy and healthy can all describe the same person. (I hope one day they’ll all describe me). I hope people will realize that fat jokes are fucking up a generation of girls and boys that think exactly like I used to and how harmful it is to saying things like ‘of course it was the fatty’ or ‘ugh I’m so fat, I had a whole hamburger’. Mind you people: I’m fat and depending on the day, I can’t eat a hamburger myself. I wish the fashion industry will really catch up and start making pretty clothes for us all - that fit for real and are stylish as fuck. And please, stop calling it a “plus size line”. I don’t want a new line just for myself, I wanna buy the same clothes you make for skinny people, but a lot bigger than that.

But then again, I’m healing. And I hope the world will too one day. 

[crosbyaamiya1992]

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[victoriousyoungtriads]

My contributions to the cart during this evening’s trip to Wegmans included a canister of Cafe Bustelo, a box of Turbinado sugar, a quart container of organic half and half, a giant box of Grape Nuts (the original pea gravel kind, not the flakes), and a gallon jug of organic milk. I passed on the Eggo waffles I craved and the carton of ice cream Kelly suggested. She made some comment about how disciplined I am, and I snort laughed and assured her, put an open box of anything I have a weakness for in front of me, and it will be gone before anyone knows it.

At home during my ongoing YouTube binge of the PathLessPedaled channel, she treated herself to decaffinated herbal tea and I treated myself to some coffee. With lots of sugar. At 8:30pm.

And I’m fucking wide awake.

So I’ve been trying to lull myself to sleep with fantasies of getting up early, drinking more coffee—literally, the ritual of making and drinking it has been absent from my morning routine for going on five years now, at least—eating aforementioned Grape Nuts, doing something productive during the day tomorrow with the pair of 25lb kettlebells, the weighted jump rope, the medicine ball, the exercise band, the pull-up bar, that have been sitting unused in my office for over a year, going for a bike ride after work (up Hamburg?... lol), or maybe hitting that heavy bag that’s hung in the backyard for even longer. I finally tracked down the website to that boxing gym up the street, only to find that a membership with “open gym access” would cost $125 monthly. And I’ve been “donating” $50ish a month to the Y with nothing to show for it for how long?

Of course there’s always that weekly Tuesday morning kettlebell class that I was committed to for a hot minute there, the same one I’m petrified to show my face in thanks to just how far I’ve let myself go since then.

Lib’s group rides this Tuesday evening at 5:30. How difficult will it be for me to keep up with their “casual” pace?

In the past two weeks or so a thought realization has circulated and recirculated—over the last few years and, in particular in the last year, in my work life, my personal life, my home life, things are generally falling into place really nicely.

Professionally speaking, sure I’d love for my raise last year to have been a little higher. Sure I would’ve loved for my promotion to have been more meaningful and come with a more significant—and realistic—title change. I’d love to be better at what I do and would relish opportunities at training and professional development that I have probably already let pass me by many times over. God knows I’d love not to be as stressed out as I have been in the past few weeks with my daily+plus+bonus+rebranding workload that is the hallmark of this fall. Maybe I’m too quick to look to comfort and stability over ambition and professional growth. I’m a Taurus, that’s my thing. I’ve already accepted the fact that the nature of the work I’m doing, the flexibility in my time, and its proximity to home make leaving there a really fucking hard sell, one I’m not much interested in anyway. Not now.

Personally speaking, things with Kelly are humming along so smoothly, it’s still kind of taken me by surprise. We complement each other so well, and living with her is almost effortless. She’s the best sleeping partner I’ve ever had, tonight’s caffeinated insomnia notwithstanding. She puts things back where they actually belong, which, all on its own, is shocking in the best way possible. This is a mature relationship, one in which both parties are squarely on the same page, about stuff both big and small. And it’s pretty awesome.

I’m thrilled to be sharing this new and improved home with her, and, all in all, I’m thrilled with how the house has turned out. Sure, there are details here and there that have given me some pause—

Sure do wish they hadn’t gotten drywall compound all over the exposed brick in the master bedroom and on the chimney downstairs

Could the electric plug have not been installed more securely in the drywall outside the bathroom?

One of these days I am going to yank those bits of T-shirt fabric out from under the washing machine

The removal of the drywall in the guest bedroom and the kitchen looks a bit hackjob-esque here and there, though not unforgivably so

I probably would have been instantly happier with that sleeker, more minimalist and modern staircase setup, but what’s there is growing on me

Seriously, what exactly is powered by that one switch?!

—and maybe I will always crave a modern, industrial, wrought iron staircase. That isn’t in the cards right now and won’t be for some time, if ever. Maybe new kitchen countertops, at some point. DIY, if we’re feeling brave. Exterior windows first, though. And how about I get my head around paying for the goddamned thing first (thanks, Mom and Dad!).

Oh, and I like cooking. And I do a decent job of it. True, all I’m doing is following recipes with pre-measured and pre-provided ingredients, and I’m not thrilled by every recipe we’re given. It still counts. I’m enjoying it. And it all tastes pretty damned good.

So, really—and my therapist agrees—stuff is going, like, really well. Night and day compared to two years ago, to say the least.

The only piece that’s not there—really, at all at this point, by my own standards—is my physical health fitness.

A lot of it is missing how strong and physically able/adept I was, or thought I was. Once upon a time a mere five years ago, I did successfully do one unassisted pull up, and around that same time the goal I’d set so many years before of doing a few at a time actually seemed within reach, in the big picture.

But fuck it, I am a vain creature, and I miss how lean-ish I looked in photos from 2012, at least compared to today. Admittedly I was depressed as fuck and living through the painful dissolution of my marriage and longest relationship, so maybe that’s not a look I should be striving for, but I don’t care.

When we moved back into the house post remodel, I got ride of a shit ton of clothes, most of which fit me reasonably well as recently as two years ago and very much don’t fit me anymore. Honestly I’m not really fitting all that well into any of my clothes, specifically those I’ve elected to hang onto... except the (music) performance wear—billowy black pants with elastic waistbands and clearly plus-sized aesthetic black blouses with dreaded three-quarter length sleeves, all in sizes I once would have been swimming in—my mother has insisted on buying for me in the last year, despite my repeated requests that she not do so, since she’s not a fan of how I look in what I already own (...thanks, Mom).

I decided to hang onto some other stuff I’ve convinced myself it would be worth it to work towards fitting into again. Standing beside Kelly this evening in Kohl’s as she unenthusiastically browsed shelves of rhinestones embroidered into the ass jeans, stretchy jeans deliberately marketed as Mom jeans (don’t you idiots watch SNL?!), and jeans with threadbare fronts and bullshit for pockets—seriously, fuck women’s fashion and fuck women’s pants—I reaffirmed my determination not to buy any new clothes until they’re necessary to replace what’s become too big for me, not too small.

It’s all doable, I hope. I’m stubborn enough, still, to want very badly to be able to get to that point by succeeding on my own, by virtue of my own motivation to exercise and eat better. My faith in that reality has wavered enough to spend $250 on all three phases of Jay Maryniak’s Functional Method workout protocols, the proverbial spine of which I have yet to crack open. And I messaged Nik... a little while ago. He sent me links to visit, including the PayPal one where I send him money for him to help me realize these dreams. Haven’t gotten around to that yet, either. This week, maybe? Cause now I have coffee and Grape Nuts, and boxing gloves gathering dust and a heavy bag hanging in the backyard whose chains are probably already collecting rust.

And all the while I am sitting here thumb typing out these thoughts, I am realizing that this fitness I so desperately want to reclaim—the fulfillment of these goals—is eluding me in the same way that sleep does some nights, tonight included.

I’ve never had complete awareness of the crossover between wakefulness and sleep (does anybody?)—when it happens, whatever my mind was doing in the moments before it finally succumbs to sleep is erased from my memory by the time I wake again. Some nights my conscious, alert mind will catch myself starting to drift, to dream. Once I do, it’s gone... I’m back to being awake and thinking, which is the opposite of what I need to do to sleep, to let go. It just has to happen.

Maybe getting this all back—the routine, the rhythm, the habit of regular, beneficial physical exertion—has to happen, and it hasn’t because of how much I’ve been thinking about it.

So, okay. Can I stop questioning when, and how, it’s going to happen long enough for it to actually happen?

[vrdeals-co]

This Haptic Suit Lets You Touch and Feel Virtual Reality - Teslasuit

so quite a while ago I got the opportunity to try the Tesla suit at a meet-up in Hamburg Germany and I can tell you it was truly amazing today I'm going to share my story with you of what happened that day and yeah I hope you are going to enjoy it this meetup was organized by the VRA our association it's a global member community that connects businesses with brands and customers they are pretty much trying to bring the VR and AR community closer together by you know doing these meetups it's it's very cool and if you want to be a member too then you can I will make sure there is a link in the description B hello but let's go back to the adventure itself so yeah I booked a session with the Tesla suit folks that for this occasion traveled all the way from Belarus to Germany to give a couple of private demos and I was very eager to try it since I heard many good stories about their haptic clothing many people refer to it as the first ready player one suit and when I heard that I got even more enthusiastic I'm sure you all remember the x1 haptic boot suit right that weight Watts is wearing in the movie it gives him the ability to feel the interaction he has with other avatars in the Oasis and also lets him experience the impact of getting hit honestly you would think that a haptic suit like this wouldn't exist right now RPO is set in the Year 2045 so we have a long way to go but turns out we have already arrived in this era the Tesla suit is very similar to the boot suit because it lets you experience heat and cold but also lets you feel something like getting hit or getting touched by a person it's funny that when I mentioned all of this to the team they were well aware of the fact that all the hype surrounding their product had everything to do with ready player one yes co2 expanse youth and if you if you noticed they the moment where a wildly possible opening the box with X once youth was like very similar render it associated with our all drained us on our like all these prototypes of this you all this privilege yes it's not all this like that it's kind of yeah so yeah there you go that's the answer we were all waiting for but anyways we're traveling a little bit too fast through time because before I could hop into VR I first had to get into one of the suits I had to email them upfront what my size was so they were well prepared on location Tesla suit comes in many sizes from an extra small to an extra extra-large so for everyone out there there is a suit available sadly I only got to wear the vest they do have trousers too you can combine them pretty much with the vest itself and go for a more immersive experience so hopefully later down the road I will be able to try that to the overall comfort level of the vest alone was great by the way my first impressions were that the suit was stretchy enough durable and was properly breeding too although I do have to say that it was a little bit on the heavy side that does make sense since the suit is jam-packed with 60 electro sensors plus it's completely wireless the team told me the battery gives juice for around ten hours and communicates through Bluetooth or Wi-Fi before we could get started they first had to do a test to find out how my body would respond to their te and s system this stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation in other words it gives force feedback to your muscles by using electroshocks the suit can accurately simulate this through 260 haptic channels it has well they were doing all of this they could go as far as taking control over my muscles by using software crazy okay that was a lien trust me but there was even more that they wanted to show me because they were also able to pool in data with the biometry trackers that are built inside the vest with this system they can monitor your emotional state and stress levels but also scan your vitals with life health data such as your heart rate after this quick setup I finally got to go into virtual reality and they had a serious game ready and where I had to escape a building that was on fire and about to collapse at first I was a bit excited and scared too I mean this was this was just right after the moment they showed me that they can control my muscles with software so I was like I don't know what to expect anymore but the adrenaline was pumping for sure I can't share any gameplay footage here since I wasn't able to record the laptop its screen so instead I will just describe what the experience was like so here we go first of all I got thrown into a hallway that was completely filled with smoke I can tell you that I could barely see anything and that's where the tesla suit came in action because while I was standing there people started running around in an attempt to find the exit I could feel them yes I could feel them rushing right past me and I could even sense the speed they were moving in and even how close they were to my physical body that was completely blowing my mind but I had no time to waste I had to find a way to escape before it was too late so navigating with a fission of zero I was able to make my way to a door the moment I grabbed the steel knob of this door I could feel that something was wrong since it gave me a light shock my first response was nope I'm not going in there it's it's just too dangerous but the tesla team told me there was a switch inside that would turn on the power and also the sprinkler system so I had no other choice than to just enter this room that was already swimming in a sea of flames the suit I was wearing here did not use thermal feedback so I didn't feel a sensation of heat but with the newer versions you would be able to sense exactly how close you are to the flames how hot they are and where it's safe to go throughout the entire demo the te NS system was active sometimes I could feel it lightly and sometimes it got more intense but this all depended on what was happening in game but I can confirm that it was physics based it's so strange that you can feel every interaction you are having from you know grabbing the power switch to pressing a bunch of buttons it's impressive that it can let you experience all of this without a pair of pants or gloves although being able to gear yourself up with a complete package wouldn't be a bad thing so yeah I turned on the sprinkler system and then I started to feel the water hitting me at that moment I really thought I was getting wet I'm not joking little drips big ones I could indentify them all and with the terminal feedback system you would even be able to feel the transition of going from hot to cold or even a mix of the two finally the smoke disappeared and I was able to walk through the hallway without having to use the walls for guidance the last challenge I had to face was crouching under a part of the ceiling that was still on fire while I ducked under it I could sense that it was about to collapse and the flames that were coming off this ceiling slowly came more and more to life again super realistic and accurate it really made me hurry up in a way where I thought there was danger coming closer and closer the moment I took off that hat said I realized that haptic suits are going to be the future and that ready player one is slowly becoming a reality this was definitely one of the most awesome things I tried so far I just love how physical your adventures in VR can become with a haptic suit like that after the VR a our meetup was over I got told that the Tesla suit can also be used for motion tracking and that if you want to you can wash it by simply pulling out the power bank and that's where I'm going to end today's video I'm sure a lot of you now want to buy a suit like that and you are wondering how much it is well if you want to know its price you gotta go to the Tesla suit website and ask for a quote but you can only do that when you are running a business at this very moment this haptic suit is for enterprises only it's mainly getting used in healthcare and military sector it's for training purposes don't worry though there is still hope because haptic suits like the one I tried are going to come to the consumer market they will make their way to the gamers out there but for now it's too early it's not the right time just yet so let's say you are interested in this in this Tesla suit make sure to you know check out the website there is a bunch of information on there and you can also find locations where the Tesla suit is getting demoed because the team is traveling around the world to preach the potential of haptic suits and that's where I'm going to end today's video I want to thank you all for watching and now it's time for me to sign up and as I always say and I see a guys next time see you in the metaphors imagine that in the near future you can go to a virtual store and buy a haptic suit there and moments later it arrives on your doorstep in real life stay tuned

  https://youtu.be/OEMa2-IVfyw

[vrsdeals-com]

This Haptic Suit Lets You Touch and Feel Virtual Reality - Teslasuit

so quite a while ago I got the opportunity to try the Tesla suit at a meet-up in Hamburg Germany and I can tell you it was truly amazing today I'm going to share my story with you of what happened that day and yeah I hope you are going to enjoy it this meetup was organized by the VRA our association it's a global member community that connects businesses with brands and customers they are pretty much trying to bring the VR and AR community closer together by you know doing these meetups it's it's very cool and if you want to be a member too then you can I will make sure there is a link in the description B hello but let's go back to the adventure itself so yeah I booked a session with the Tesla suit folks that for this occasion traveled all the way from Belarus to Germany to give a couple of private demos and I was very eager to try it since I heard many good stories about their haptic clothing many people refer to it as the first ready player one suit and when I heard that I got even more enthusiastic I'm sure you all remember the x1 haptic boot suit right that weight Watts is wearing in the movie it gives him the ability to feel the interaction he has with other avatars in the Oasis and also lets him experience the impact of getting hit honestly you would think that a haptic suit like this wouldn't exist right now RPO is set in the Year 2045 so we have a long way to go but turns out we have already arrived in this era the Tesla suit is very similar to the boot suit because it lets you experience heat and cold but also lets you feel something like getting hit or getting touched by a person it's funny that when I mentioned all of this to the team they were well aware of the fact that all the hype surrounding their product had everything to do with ready player one yes co2 expanse youth and if you if you noticed they the moment where a wildly possible opening the box with X once youth was like very similar render it associated with our all drained us on our like all these prototypes of this you all this privilege yes it's not all this like that it's kind of yeah so yeah there you go that's the answer we were all waiting for but anyways we're traveling a little bit too fast through time because before I could hop into VR I first had to get into one of the suits I had to email them upfront what my size was so they were well prepared on location Tesla suit comes in many sizes from an extra small to an extra extra-large so for everyone out there there is a suit available sadly I only got to wear the vest they do have trousers too you can combine them pretty much with the vest itself and go for a more immersive experience so hopefully later down the road I will be able to try that to the overall comfort level of the vest alone was great by the way my first impressions were that the suit was stretchy enough durable and was properly breeding too although I do have to say that it was a little bit on the heavy side that does make sense since the suit is jam-packed with 60 electro sensors plus it's completely wireless the team told me the battery gives juice for around ten hours and communicates through Bluetooth or Wi-Fi before we could get started they first had to do a test to find out how my body would respond to their te and s system this stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation in other words it gives force feedback to your muscles by using electroshocks the suit can accurately simulate this through 260 haptic channels it has well they were doing all of this they could go as far as taking control over my muscles by using software crazy okay that was a lien trust me but there was even more that they wanted to show me because they were also able to pool in data with the biometry trackers that are built inside the vest with this system they can monitor your emotional state and stress levels but also scan your vitals with life health data such as your heart rate after this quick setup I finally got to go into virtual reality and they had a serious game ready and where I had to escape a building that was on fire and about to collapse at first I was a bit excited and scared too I mean this was this was just right after the moment they showed me that they can control my muscles with software so I was like I don't know what to expect anymore but the adrenaline was pumping for sure I can't share any gameplay footage here since I wasn't able to record the laptop its screen so instead I will just describe what the experience was like so here we go first of all I got thrown into a hallway that was completely filled with smoke I can tell you that I could barely see anything and that's where the tesla suit came in action because while I was standing there people started running around in an attempt to find the exit I could feel them yes I could feel them rushing right past me and I could even sense the speed they were moving in and even how close they were to my physical body that was completely blowing my mind but I had no time to waste I had to find a way to escape before it was too late so navigating with a fission of zero I was able to make my way to a door the moment I grabbed the steel knob of this door I could feel that something was wrong since it gave me a light shock my first response was nope I'm not going in there it's it's just too dangerous but the tesla team told me there was a switch inside that would turn on the power and also the sprinkler system so I had no other choice than to just enter this room that was already swimming in a sea of flames the suit I was wearing here did not use thermal feedback so I didn't feel a sensation of heat but with the newer versions you would be able to sense exactly how close you are to the flames how hot they are and where it's safe to go throughout the entire demo the te NS system was active sometimes I could feel it lightly and sometimes it got more intense but this all depended on what was happening in game but I can confirm that it was physics based it's so strange that you can feel every interaction you are having from you know grabbing the power switch to pressing a bunch of buttons it's impressive that it can let you experience all of this without a pair of pants or gloves although being able to gear yourself up with a complete package wouldn't be a bad thing so yeah I turned on the sprinkler system and then I started to feel the water hitting me at that moment I really thought I was getting wet I'm not joking little drips big ones I could indentify them all and with the terminal feedback system you would even be able to feel the transition of going from hot to cold or even a mix of the two finally the smoke disappeared and I was able to walk through the hallway without having to use the walls for guidance the last challenge I had to face was crouching under a part of the ceiling that was still on fire while I ducked under it I could sense that it was about to collapse and the flames that were coming off this ceiling slowly came more and more to life again super realistic and accurate it really made me hurry up in a way where I thought there was danger coming closer and closer the moment I took off that hat said I realized that haptic suits are going to be the future and that ready player one is slowly becoming a reality this was definitely one of the most awesome things I tried so far I just love how physical your adventures in VR can become with a haptic suit like that after the VR a our meetup was over I got told that the Tesla suit can also be used for motion tracking and that if you want to you can wash it by simply pulling out the power bank and that's where I'm going to end today's video I'm sure a lot of you now want to buy a suit like that and you are wondering how much it is well if you want to know its price you gotta go to the Tesla suit website and ask for a quote but you can only do that when you are running a business at this very moment this haptic suit is for enterprises only it's mainly getting used in healthcare and military sector it's for training purposes don't worry though there is still hope because haptic suits like the one I tried are going to come to the consumer market they will make their way to the gamers out there but for now it's too early it's not the right time just yet so let's say you are interested in this in this Tesla suit make sure to you know check out the website there is a bunch of information on there and you can also find locations where the Tesla suit is getting demoed because the team is traveling around the world to preach the potential of haptic suits and that's where I'm going to end today's video I want to thank you all for watching and now it's time for me to sign up and as I always say and I see a guys next time see you in the metaphors imagine that in the near future you can go to a virtual store and buy a haptic suit there and moments later it arrives on your doorstep in real life stay tuned

  https://youtu.be/OEMa2-IVfyw

[vrsdeal-com]

This Haptic Suit Lets You Touch and Feel Virtual Reality - Teslasuit

so quite a while ago I got the opportunity to try the Tesla suit at a meet-up in Hamburg Germany and I can tell you it was truly amazing today I'm going to share my story with you of what happened that day and yeah I hope you are going to enjoy it this meetup was organized by the VRA our association it's a global member community that connects businesses with brands and customers they are pretty much trying to bring the VR and AR community closer together by you know doing these meetups it's it's very cool and if you want to be a member too then you can I will make sure there is a link in the description B hello but let's go back to the adventure itself so yeah I booked a session with the Tesla suit folks that for this occasion traveled all the way from Belarus to Germany to give a couple of private demos and I was very eager to try it since I heard many good stories about their haptic clothing many people refer to it as the first ready player one suit and when I heard that I got even more enthusiastic I'm sure you all remember the x1 haptic boot suit right that weight Watts is wearing in the movie it gives him the ability to feel the interaction he has with other avatars in the Oasis and also lets him experience the impact of getting hit honestly you would think that a haptic suit like this wouldn't exist right now RPO is set in the Year 2045 so we have a long way to go but turns out we have already arrived in this era the Tesla suit is very similar to the boot suit because it lets you experience heat and cold but also lets you feel something like getting hit or getting touched by a person it's funny that when I mentioned all of this to the team they were well aware of the fact that all the hype surrounding their product had everything to do with ready player one yes co2 expanse youth and if you if you noticed they the moment where a wildly possible opening the box with X once youth was like very similar render it associated with our all drained us on our like all these prototypes of this you all this privilege yes it's not all this like that it's kind of yeah so yeah there you go that's the answer we were all waiting for but anyways we're traveling a little bit too fast through time because before I could hop into VR I first had to get into one of the suits I had to email them upfront what my size was so they were well prepared on location Tesla suit comes in many sizes from an extra small to an extra extra-large so for everyone out there there is a suit available sadly I only got to wear the vest they do have trousers too you can combine them pretty much with the vest itself and go for a more immersive experience so hopefully later down the road I will be able to try that to the overall comfort level of the vest alone was great by the way my first impressions were that the suit was stretchy enough durable and was properly breeding too although I do have to say that it was a little bit on the heavy side that does make sense since the suit is jam-packed with 60 electro sensors plus it's completely wireless the team told me the battery gives juice for around ten hours and communicates through Bluetooth or Wi-Fi before we could get started they first had to do a test to find out how my body would respond to their te and s system this stands for transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation in other words it gives force feedback to your muscles by using electroshocks the suit can accurately simulate this through 260 haptic channels it has well they were doing all of this they could go as far as taking control over my muscles by using software crazy okay that was a lien trust me but there was even more that they wanted to show me because they were also able to pool in data with the biometry trackers that are built inside the vest with this system they can monitor your emotional state and stress levels but also scan your vitals with life health data such as your heart rate after this quick setup I finally got to go into virtual reality and they had a serious game ready and where I had to escape a building that was on fire and about to collapse at first I was a bit excited and scared too I mean this was this was just right after the moment they showed me that they can control my muscles with software so I was like I don't know what to expect anymore but the adrenaline was pumping for sure I can't share any gameplay footage here since I wasn't able to record the laptop its screen so instead I will just describe what the experience was like so here we go first of all I got thrown into a hallway that was completely filled with smoke I can tell you that I could barely see anything and that's where the tesla suit came in action because while I was standing there people started running around in an attempt to find the exit I could feel them yes I could feel them rushing right past me and I could even sense the speed they were moving in and even how close they were to my physical body that was completely blowing my mind but I had no time to waste I had to find a way to escape before it was too late so navigating with a fission of zero I was able to make my way to a door the moment I grabbed the steel knob of this door I could feel that something was wrong since it gave me a light shock my first response was nope I'm not going in there it's it's just too dangerous but the tesla team told me there was a switch inside that would turn on the power and also the sprinkler system so I had no other choice than to just enter this room that was already swimming in a sea of flames the suit I was wearing here did not use thermal feedback so I didn't feel a sensation of heat but with the newer versions you would be able to sense exactly how close you are to the flames how hot they are and where it's safe to go throughout the entire demo the te NS system was active sometimes I could feel it lightly and sometimes it got more intense but this all depended on what was happening in game but I can confirm that it was physics based it's so strange that you can feel every interaction you are having from you know grabbing the power switch to pressing a bunch of buttons it's impressive that it can let you experience all of this without a pair of pants or gloves although being able to gear yourself up with a complete package wouldn't be a bad thing so yeah I turned on the sprinkler system and then I started to feel the water hitting me at that moment I really thought I was getting wet I'm not joking little drips big ones I could indentify them all and with the terminal feedback system you would even be able to feel the transition of going from hot to cold or even a mix of the two finally the smoke disappeared and I was able to walk through the hallway without having to use the walls for guidance the last challenge I had to face was crouching under a part of the ceiling that was still on fire while I ducked under it I could sense that it was about to collapse and the flames that were coming off this ceiling slowly came more and more to life again super realistic and accurate it really made me hurry up in a way where I thought there was danger coming closer and closer the moment I took off that hat said I realized that haptic suits are going to be the future and that ready player one is slowly becoming a reality this was definitely one of the most awesome things I tried so far I just love how physical your adventures in VR can become with a haptic suit like that after the VR a our meetup was over I got told that the Tesla suit can also be used for motion tracking and that if you want to you can wash it by simply pulling out the power bank and that's where I'm going to end today's video I'm sure a lot of you now want to buy a suit like that and you are wondering how much it is well if you want to know its price you gotta go to the Tesla suit website and ask for a quote but you can only do that when you are running a business at this very moment this haptic suit is for enterprises only it's mainly getting used in healthcare and military sector it's for training purposes don't worry though there is still hope because haptic suits like the one I tried are going to come to the consumer market they will make their way to the gamers out there but for now it's too early it's not the right time just yet so let's say you are interested in this in this Tesla suit make sure to you know check out the website there is a bunch of information on there and you can also find locations where the Tesla suit is getting demoed because the team is traveling around the world to preach the potential of haptic suits and that's where I'm going to end today's video I want to thank you all for watching and now it's time for me to sign up and as I always say and I see a guys next time see you in the metaphors imagine that in the near future you can go to a virtual store and buy a haptic suit there and moments later it arrives on your doorstep in real life stay tuned

  https://youtu.be/OEMa2-IVfyw

[whatshouldwecallmillenniald-blog]

Deep Analysis 3: Reflections on Threesomes and Serial Fuckbois

Lots of topics, lots to unpack here. Let’s start from the top:

Threesomes: So last weekend, I went out to a bar with a girl friend who I knew from previous conversations was bi. We had a lot to drink, her boyfriend joined us along with some of our other friends, and the three of us (me, her, and her bf) ended up going back to her place to have sex. In the end, I don’t remember most of it and it turned into an emotionally messy night, but the overall experience was not unpleasant. In fact, it was enjoyable enough that when my next hookup (see: Serial Fuckboi section) asked if I wanted to do one with him, I agreed. He asked me to put on my Tinder account that I was looking for another girl to join us, and to be completely honest I had NO idea what I was doing. I know how to be a hoe to get guys for a night, I sort of know how to be a wholesome looking fun girl to get guys for dates and long-term things, but I have no idea how to attract/message/talk to girls looking for other girls. When I showed him my profile, he immediately changed my bio, picture, and re-messaged my (meager) matches, essentially doing my job for me. And his version worked WAY better—the girls responded, I got more matches, and overall we were a more attractive couple. Doesn’t this mean he should be the one handling the matches? I suck at starting conversations with girls because I just treat them as friends. If I say to a girl in real life, “Hi! You’re beautiful,” it’s much friendlier and likely to start a conversation than if I randomly messaged “what’s the craziest thing you’ve done on a scale of 1-10.” Yes, Tinder is not real life, and I’ve learned my lesson about being more exaggerated and playful on apps, but this shit is seriously tiring and I’m honestly pretty terrible at it. Also, based on my last threesome, I’m definitely not bi, but another girl being there would be fun? I think? Maybe a foursome would make more sense just in terms of an even number of people, but I don’t even know what to expect anymore. Updates to come if this other guy and I ever find a girl who wants to have sex with us (for God knows what reason, tbh).

----

Serial Fuckboi: Okay, I know this is going to be hypocritical and self-contradictory, but I am just going to relay the events and my thoughts and interpret as you may. Basically, I am hooking up with a guy (See: Case 8) who keeps a “full plate of girls” (direct quote from him) to hang out with/have sex with (not always the same thing) and has no problem telling all of them that he is seeing other girls, has no problem with introducing them to his friends, and has no problem hanging out with them without having sex (read: what happened to me last night when we hung out). When him and I hang out, we usually talk about stuff related to relationships/sex/our lives in general, but nothing too deep. It’s not terrible conversation, but also not necessarily engaging, and I always feel like I’m reaching or asking him questions that he’s just answering to be polite. Am I just used to a more elevated level of enthusiasm in conversation? Why doesn’t he want to ask questions like I do, why don’t we cuddle while we talk if I’m there as a sexual interest, and why (this is the real point that’s bothering me) does he take other girls on actual dates outside of his bedroom and say he likes them when he doesn’t do that with me? Are we just not on that level yet, or am I a lower-tier option for him (also his terminology, not mine)? Am I going to be like that girl he’s seen over 30 times yet will never think of her as “tier 1”? What’s the differentiating factor between me and the girl he took out to a bar on Valentine’s Day? And why did he text me on VDay if he didn’t even want to hang out? 

He is the ULTIMATE serial fuckboi who knows exactly how this game is played and how to play it to maximize long-term gains. I’m just the stupid naïve 21 year old who for some unfathomable reason feels jealous that he’s hanging out with other girls, even though I know that’s the nature of our relationship. Is it really jealousy though? Is it actually related to him, or is it more about my sense of self-worth?

If I’m being completely honest, like COMPLETELY saying this to a void: I couldn’t care less if he was seeing other girls, fucking someone else every day of the week, whatever—as long as he was equally or more attentive to me, basically telling me that I’m just as good or better than the other girls in his eyes as a friend/partner/whatever. This is 100% an issue of self-confidence, and it’s obviously a recurring problem in my life. It’s the reason I want to hook up with strangers when I’m drunk—because some attention is better than no attention. It’s the reason I’m loud and funny and outgoing when I think I’m well liked, and the exact opposite if I feel I’m disliked or seen as not as good/funny/pretty as another girl. This only happens with direct comparison with girls—if another guy is seen as “better”, this does not happen. Why am I like this? More importantly, how can I overcome this? It may come from working out and losing weight, making myself more physically attractive. I do think I’m fairly intelligent and funny, and it’s really just from a purely physical standpoint that I lack the confidence. Well, maybe it’s a little bit of my personality too—I’ve had enough people think I’m annoying/boring to take a hit to my self-esteem. 

Potential solution (that I actually may have learned from the serial fuckboi): become hot, prove to myself that I actually can have confidence and am worth the time and consideration of men I find also worth my time, and begin repairing my broken sense of self.

Conclusion/tl;dr: my relationship/sex life/boy problems are not really about the boy—it’s about my inherent self-esteem and sense of self-worth, which at least in my mind can be fixed or at least bolstered by looking hot and being funny/cool? The quote about “Cool Girls” from Gone Girl hits hard, and maybe this is something I need to keep in mind when dealing with my perception of myself and guys who want a different perception of myself:

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirt jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually thing this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men—friends, coworkers, strangers—giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much—no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version—maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)

[cebeavers]

Quassy & Lake Compounce 2010

September 4, 2010 Quassy Photos | Lake Compounce Photos

I slept better Saturday nite than I had on Friday. Not sure about Matt, I was having allergy/sinus issues, so I snored pretty badly. On Sunday morning we got up and headed out, leaving our room at La Quinta behind. Our first stop of the day was Dunkin Doughnuts for breakfast. What is up with New England? They don’t keep chocolate cream filled doughnuts all year round, they’re only seasonal. Whatever.

>Breakfast was still good, though, even if I settled for Bavarian cream. Matt learned not to call the cashier a Yankee, even if she tried to take his $10. Then it was thru the back roads of Connecticut and off to Quassy. We arrived at the park after 11am and families were already pouring in. My first thought was that it reminded me of a nicer Camden park. Walking around, though, it reminded me more of a smaller Beech Bend.

We walked over by the Mad Mouse but decided to walk around so I could take some pictures first. The park was very nice, and we walked all around snapping pictures. I was going to ride the kiddie credit, but ended up skipping it. One thing I liked was that they had a ticket machine back by the carousel, so we got 2 tickets and headed back towards the coaster. This will be its last year here, so it was our chance to check a rare ride out.

Mad Mouse-I wish Matt and I could have rode it separately, but oh well. The car was uncomfortable, but the ride was fun. The first drop after the mouse section was a ton of fun, and going around the tight turns was rather scary (the ride shakes). I honestly was hoping the car wouldn’t derail because of our weight. Overall, though, it would have been a great ride if I’d been in a car by myself.

We walked around and did some more photos before heading out. Quassy is a nice park, and I really hope they have a hit with their new wooden coaster for next year. Matt keeps calling it the Quassy Comet, and I think that’s a great name. Hopefully they’ll put a nice light package on it as well. And maybe next year I’ll get back up there to try it out. We got some construction photos as we were leaving.

Next up on the trip was a stop by (World Famous) Ted’s Restaurant, a hamburger joint (one of many) that steams the burger. I was excited to try it. We met up with Kyle & Jenna for lunch (they treated us, thanks again folks!). The burger was very good, and we had a nice lunch and a chance to sit and talk for a while.

Lake Compounce wasn’t very far away. Joe & Steph had called Matt and said they’d meet us there for some Boulder Dash rides. I was excited because the park looked great in pictures. Little did I know I’d have a chance to see ESPN while I was there! And we saw some odd looking tall building where they test elevators. Double score (and Foursquare now has a check in by me at ESPN to boot!).

We got to the park and it looked packed. Once we got in, though, the crowds were fairly dispersed throughout the park. I had packed my swimming trunks yet again, but it was just too cool to go to the water park. We walked around the park and headed straight to the reason both of us were there, a new credit for me, and one of Matt’s favorite coasters…

Boulder Dash-The line was about a 30 minute wait, and I must stop here and say that this line had people line hopping each time I was in it. I was kind of caught off guard each time (I didn’t think it would actually happen as much as it did) or I would have stopped it. Anywho, I loved that the lift went thru the trees up the hill. We rode in the back and there is some great airtime on that first drop. Then the next hill. Then the next hill, too! The turn around near the sky ride was filled with laterals, and then it’s just all out airtime madness on each hill as you hop and jump back to the station. Boulder Dash was a lot of fun, and I’m glad I finally got a shot at it. Matt said it was running at about an 8/10, so that’s good enough for me!

We headed to the sky ride next, which afforded me the opportunity to get some decent shots of the park and especially Boulder Dash. The sky ride was pretty awesome (best thrill in the park!) I got some pictures in between my hyperventilation (I’m so afraid of heights). It reminded me of the tram at Pipestem State Park in WV.

We headed down to the train afterwards and rode back over to the main section of the park, hitting up some pizza and taking a break from walking. Next Matt took me over to Wildcat for a ride.

Wildcat-It has a decent layout, and some nice hills, but it needs some work. If it ran as well as Boulder Dash, it would be a nice classic wooden coaster. My biggest issue was that I hit my knee on a metal box in the train going up a hill. Still, the first drop is fun, the turns were forceful, and there is definitely airtime to be had. It wasn’t the worst thing ever, but it wasn’t that great either.

We walked over to Zoomerang but the line was too long. We walked around to a few different spots for picture taking and eventually headed up to Boulder Dash’s entrance to wait for Joe and Steph. We ended up waiting for about 40 minutes before heading out to other parts of the park. In fact, we may have checked out the Zoomerang line after waiting. I do know we ended up riding the Rotor. I hadn’t been on one of those in years! It was tons of fun, with the floor dropping out and everything. I hate that Kings Dominion got rid of their Time Shaft, it was really great.

We headed back to Boulder Dash’s entrance, but no Steph or Joe, so we got in line. Eventually, once we were close, we saw them in line and they waited for us after the ride. Boulder Dash was even better than the first ride, which was nice.

I needed to get my Zoomerang credit, so we headed over to that line (after I stopped for some Birthday Cake Dip N Dots). Steph and Joe waited for us as Matt and I got a front seat ride.

Zoomerang-My 2nd new Boomerang in as many days. It’s a Boomerang. The drops are great, the inversions a little more intense than I like, and I come off all disoriented. That’s about it. Oh, but this one has pretty trains.

We headed up to the park’s S&S swings, Thunder And Lightning, where we waited for a quick ride. I love those rides, even if they’re ugly. They’re a lot of fun. After we rode we headed over to Downtime, the park’s S&S drop tower. This one seemed to hold you at the top longer. I was nervous, but I’m still getting a little better at these types of rides. As we were in line, some weird guy who kept riding over and over gave someone in line with a kid some grief over the Red Sox shirt the guy in line was wearing. Drama ensued and a manager had to come over. The creepy guy on the ride wasn’t all there mentally, I don’t think, and Matt said he’s always at the park.

So we headed back to Boulder Dash for a mostly dark ride. That first drop was still insane and the airtime coming back was great. Joe and Steph had an interesting on ride photo as well. We hurried around to the front of the queue to ride again, but they had just closed it. Oh well…

I wanted to ride the dark ride, but the line was always really long. Lake Compounce has a great selection of rides, and I wish I lived closer (or at least that the park was closer to me). The gang took a spin on the Wave Swinger while I sat out. I wish I had known that they had one of the bouncing tower rides that Beech Bend has, but it was too late to ride it at this point.

We headed out and talked to some other enthusiasts Matt and Joe knew. The park is really very pretty at nite, esp. in the front where it’s all lit up. And I love the tunnel lights going into the park. We headed to the truck and met up with Joe and Steph at a nearby BK where I proclaimed myself King. Matt still has the crown, too. The drive to Jersey was long, but we went thru NYC and I went over the GW Bridge. Sadly, it was not lit up like it usually is (Do they turn the lights off late at nite? We went over it around 11pm).

We arrived at the Crowne Plaza near Six Flags Great Adventure a little after midnight. Thankfully there was a sofa bed for me, as the room only had a king sized bed. I slept like a baby. Which was bad for poor Matt, since I’m sure I snored like crazy.

[trainingbrahs-blog]

Patched In: The Artistic Brah

The Bro Series honours a variety of bros and gives us the opportunity to get to know some of our favourite little buddies a bit better. Knowledge is power sisters and brothers!  Our fifth interview in the Bro Series is with Zoe, the stand-up-bro-turned-jits-bro, also known as the Artistic Brah.

We should probably mention that apart from being a tough blue belt that loves judo, Zoe makes amazing jiu jitsu inspired art, which we obviously asked her exactly zero questions about because we were too busy talking about gross things and Gucci Mane.  You can see Zoe’s excellent art here and here.

Vicky - Ok.  Why do you think ringworm is called ringworm?  It’s not a worm.  So why make it any grosser than athlete’s foot?

Zoe  - You know what?  I’ve thought a lot about this for the last ten days.  I’ve read every single… My first 2 pages of google, all the titles are purple because I’ve clicked on them and I really think they should change the name.  I think the history is that they used to think it was a worm because it makes that circle.  Do worms even make a circle?

V - There’s the snake that eats its tail, but that’s symbolic.

Z - So yeah, my symbolic worm disease. I honestly think if it had a different name, people would be chill about it.  I would be chill about it.

V - Right?  Athlete’s foot.  Or athlete’s circle?

Mike - That sounds like a store.

Darcie - I would shop there.

V - It’s something that happens to someone who’s fit and active.

Z - I dunno make it sound like at least not terrible.  Can you please not?  Can this please not happen to me right now?  Everything is terrible.  Why am I having ringworm too?

V - How much hair do you think you’ve lost in jiu jitsu?

Z - Not enough.  My hair’s still really puffy and big.

V - Do you lose it from the back, the front, or the side?

Z - I think it gets torn out from deep within the clump.  My hair has no back front or side.  Especially once I’ve been rolling for a bit. It’s very sweet when guys crossface me then go “oh oh oh your hair!”  But you’re already crossfacing me.  Why are you concerned about my hair?

D - That’s why I just got an undercut.  It solved all of my problems.

V - Don’t you think it’s weird when they sort of gently brush it out of the way?  They lift your head up then smooth your hair.

M - I do that to guys with long hair too.  It’s like come on, man.

V - But sometimes it’s oddly intimate, like you’re being cradled?

M - From now on, never again.  Oddly intimate with other men?  No.

V - It touches me!

M - Does it touch them too?  I’m not staring at your tender hair.

D -- Everyone should just get an undercut.

V - Yeah, we’ll talk to you again when you’re growing that thing out.

D - How do you feel about competition?

Z -  I enjoy it when I grab their lapels, but everything up to that point including the two weeks prior pretending that I’m not doing it is just very uncomfortable.  I never regret it, even if I lose miserably.  I do enjoy the excitement, even if I’m losing tremendously.  I like to be in it, I just don’t like to get there.  My mind is my problem.  I like it and I’m going to challenge myself and do no gi for my next competition.

M - ooh.

D - Does Mike know about the challenge?

M - What challenge?

Z - haha yes.  Chad told me that I should challenge Mike to no gi because I could probably take him..

M - Probably.  Challenge accepted.

D - We should market this

V - Like a superfight?

D - Yeah.  But you should get some sort of… you know.  Mike has weight and more years of jiu jitsu.

V - So like a handicap.

D - I didn’t want to use the word handicap, but yes.

M - A seven point lead?  Is that what you want?

D - I dunno a hammer or something.

V - Or like Zoe gets to do slap jiu jitsu and Mike doesn’t

M - If it’s a gun, I’m ok.  I just did firearm self defence this week.  I’ll take you on with a gun.

D - So we’ve written a lot of posts on cutting weight and not cutting weight because it’s for suckers, but tell us about the last time you made weight.

Z - Alright.  I was cocky.  Because the previous competition I was underweight because the scale at our gym was six pounds over.

D - Still is.

V - Is it really?

D - It’s over by quite a bit.

V - Thank god.

Z - So I was super cocky and was like, “I’m not gonna be careful at all.  I’m just gonna have a hamburger and onion rings the night before and I’m gonna drink coffee in the morning with four bananas.” Then I was in the car with Shannon and I was getting this feeling of “Ahh I gotta compete.”  I dunno I have a feeling.  The go to to calm my nerves is to vomit.  It works like a charm.  It relaxes me.  Honestly I’ve been vomiting to relax myself since I was like 4.  Whenever too much stress was happening I’d vomit.  Almost without warning, especially on playgrounds and stuff.  Someone would upset me or something and that was my go to.  So  I know this about myself.  So I knew.  I was like, “Shannon, I don’t know if you have to pull over when we’re driving but I’m gonna have to throw up soon.”  She was like, “no problem.” Anyway we found parking and I knew it.  Shannon had walked off to put money in the meter and I knew it.  I felt it.  But the vomit doesn’t just come out.  I have to like force it out.  It’s just that sick feeling in my stomach so it’s just like “blech.”  It’s really, really hoarse and forced but I have to expel something.

M - Oh my god, your face.

Z - I only had like 4 bananas and two cups of coffee.

V - That’s a lot of bananas.

Z - So I was in the parking lot and I was kind of embarrassed because there were a bunch of construction guys having lunch so I was trying to hide, retching behind a tree at BCIT and my stomach wasn’t full enough so it was just like that gooey stomach acid bile. But, I managed to throw up my coffee.  Then Shannon told me I didn’t look so great, but I was good to go.  So then I’m waiting for my fight and I thought “oh I might as well weigh myself” and then I step on the scale and I was just so confident.  Like you know, I’ve done this before.  TWICE already.  So I got on the scale and then I looked at the guy’s face and he was like, “ohhhhh you’re at the limit” and I was 141.5.  I was at the cut off.  And I was like “oh no, thank god I threw up in the parking lot, otherwise I would’ve missed weight!” So I scraped by and I learned a hard lesson that I shouldn’t eat junk food 12 hours before I fight.  And to keep my retching vomit to a minimum.

V - Zoe, I will never forget you at the in-house competition.

Z - What the one I did after two weeks?

D - Yeah, that’s why we decided we were going to adopt you.  Well that and because you came out dancing after.

V - Yeah, you showed up for two weeks, we barely even knew who you were and you had the most laser focused insane maniac look on your face and you just destroyed everybody.  It was terrifying.  And kind of amazing.

Z - Well thank you, also I really don’t remember it.  I remember Rodrigo had said “Zoe, it’s ok.  Two weeks.  Whatever just do it.” and I said “well you know what, ok.”  My mindset like that works for me sometimes, when I’m almost naive to what is actually happening or if I don’t really understand the situation, I just usually say yes and I usually have a really good experience from it.  I remember when I woke up that morning, it was about 10:30 and I said “oh yeah, I’m about to do this competition at 11:30” and I didn’t even know what that meant.  So the sense of relaxation and chill that I had was the best that I ever felt in terms of thinking about going to compete.  I didn’t know what I was doing and now when I watch white belts I’m like, “Is that what I was doing?”

V - Yeah, you had no chill.  It was amazing though.  Really.  You just came out of nowhere and just destroyed.  So you’ve been working at the gym for a while now.  What’s the grossest thing that you’ve found there?

Z -  Well today I found a bandaid on the wall.

V - That’s nothing.

Z - I know that’s nothing.  Mike handed me a bag of vomit once.  I said, “I’m not touching that without gloves” and he’s like, “Oh that’s a good idea.”

M - It really stunk too.  It’s like thick foamy.  A guy was like, “My daughter threw up.” It was me and Zoe only.  We were way overwhelmed with kids and one kid barfed.  It was just a little girl. She was 3 or 4, but the amount of throw up that came out of her was like the size of her.  I was looking at her and looking at it… and looking at her.  It didn’t match up.  That’s an adult barf.  So I brought the garbage can and I was like, “How are we gonna navigate this?” So I swept it all up and it was all over the edge of the bag and my hands and Zoe was just like, “No fucking way.  GLOVES.”

Z - Mike, you know that’s a biohazard.  You need to not pick vomit up with your hands.  That’s the one that comes to mind but honest to god, I’m disgusted by people everyday.  

V - If you had to tattoo something on your face what would it be?

Z - uhhh my… That’s a good question

V - Is it?

Z - I would have to research more.  Actually it would probably be something… I was going to say decorative.  I dunno I couldn’t go full ice cream cone.

M - Gucci Mane?  It’s Gucci that has that right?

V - That’s a thing?  He has an ice cream?

M - It’s the whole side of his head.

V - Shut up.

D - I’m so glad we get to put a picture of Gucci Mane on the blog.

V - I don’t understand.  Are these spikes coming out of the ice cream cone as well?  Seriously.  Can somebody look up why?  There’s gotta be some meaning behind that.

Z - It’s because he always says ice cold.

V - Ok but you could do like an ice cube.

Z - Ice Cube is taken.

M - He’s the ice cream man.  It’s because he chooses to live his life cool as ice.

V - That’s stupid.  It’s an ice cream cone on his face.

D - Ok let’s go straight to Interview Sharktank.  It’s one minute.  I think Brancao still holds the title.  He answered like 35 questions or something ridiculous.

V - I still think we stopped timing him.

D - We’ll have to look it up.  Anyway, we’re not going to ask you what your walkout song is because we already know from Manuel’s birthday party.

V - for the record it is…

Z - Oh for the record, it’s Kate Bush, Running Up That Hill

D - So if you were practicing for sharktank, we’re not going to ask that.

V - Practice?  That’s how Brancao beat everybody.  And go…

D - Favorite sub?

Z - What?... Favorite?  I was gonna say turkey!  

M - Go!  Next question!

D - Favorite Subway sub!

Z - I said!  It’s turkey!

D - What’s Chad’s walk out song

Z - Oh no.  A Handsome Man?

D - Gi or no gi?

Z - No gi

V - REALLY.

D - Best thing about jiu jitsu?

Z - Everything

D - Worst thing about jiu jitsu?

Z - Everything!

D - Broken nose or broken toe?

Z - Both.

D - Name a country that starts with A.

Z - America

D - Staph or ringworm?

Z - Ringworm

D - Cher or Dolly Parton?

Z - Cher

D - Best take down.

Z - Osoto gari

D - Give us your favorite Louis quote

Z - Oh my god.

V - done!

D - Oh I wanted to hear it.

V - Does Louis have quotes?

D - “You can’t arm drag me!  I’m already sitting down!”

M - “You should’ve cut that big toenail, that’s gross” [for the full story, see Patched in- the Original bro]

11 questions.  Aaaaaaaaaaaand stilllllllll Brancao remains the Interview Sharktank champion.  Thanks for sitting down with us, Zoe.