#a tale of two igors

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Frankensexy

Guillermo del Toro: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, I call this the tale of frankenstein del Toro: but this time del Toro: there's a little twist del Toro: the twist is that frankenstein is hot

del Toro: see, what if it starred Andrew Garfield and Oscar Isaac? Mary Shelley: which one is frankenstein? del Toro: doesn't matter, they're both pretty fuckable Shelley: Shelley: yeah that's right

Bram Stoker: are we back on this fuckable frankenstein kick? this is just awful Stoker: you're destroying the essence of the story! Stoker: frankenstein can't be hot Stoker: he's SUPPOSED to represent the hubris of man's folly! Mary Shelley: shut the fuck up bram

del Toro: and we're getting mia goth to be in it too Bram Stoker: and who's she playing? del Toro: del Toro: uhhhh del Toro: igor?

Mary Shelley: igor's not in the fuckin book Stephen King: are you sure about that, mary? i mean i've seen frankenstein and i'm pretty sure there was an igor Shelley: that was the MOVIE steve Shelley: and also igor wasn't in that either!! Shelley: jesus christ you guys

King: whoa whoa whoa mary King: are you saying that igor wasn't in the frankenstein book OR the frankenstein movie? Shelley: that's right King: well then King: where's he from? Barker: that's some real mandela effect shit Shelley: NO IT'S NOT

King: ok but where's igor from then? Shelley: how the hell should i know? probably from one of those fuckin idk flintstones meets frankenstein shit specials or something King: c'mon mary that's just silly King: also it would be frankenSTONE Shelley: what

Shelley: fine! put an igor in! I don't fuckin care Shelley: do whatever you fuckin want with your fuckin femme igor that Shelley: femme igor Shelley: wait Shelley: wait a second actually this idea slaps

del Toro: anyway back to my del Toro: [waggles eyebrows] cabinet of curiosities!

del Toro: watch, i'm going to introduce every episode the cabinet of curiosities with a pithy philosophical monologue del Toro: like if i was the giant flying liquid metal skull at the beginning of skeleton warriors Barker: pft you can try man but you're no tony jay

del Toro: light del Toro: dark del Toro: the two sides of the same coin battling for the hearts of mens souls del Toro: but what of those in the middle? del Toro: which way del Toro: will they turn?   [dramatic pause] King: just gives ya chills doesn't it? Barker: not really

[capacle]

20 Brazilian TTRPGs I wish also existed in English

Today I offer you:

20 Brazilian TTRPGs I wish also existed in English (because I want the world to know about them)

Buckle up, because you won't BELIEVE the diversity of our indie scene.

[presented in no particular order, and only one per author]

1. Meu Brinquedo Preferido ('My favorite toy'), by Eduardo Caetano

A metaphor about a child's growing process by deconstructing their fears through playful situations.

2. SeanchaS, by Jorge Valpaços and Jefferson Neves

A game about myths, construction of identity and narrative around bonfires, about the time of ancient stories and the present time.

3. Gatunos, by Tiago Junges

A GMless/Solo game in which you play as cat thieves and mercenaries doing the dirty work of the five big factions that run the city.

4. Nômades (Nomads), by Marcelo Collar

A card-based RPG in which you play as beings who have the ability to find and pass through the cracks in the veil that separates the universes.

5. Infaernum, by Caio Romero

Create your own apocalypse while playing the game, and interpret characters who experience the last days of all things.

6. Áureos, Os Dançarinos da Lua ('The Moon Dancers'), by Rey Ooze

A game of fight and freedom where dice play capoeira. You play as an 'Áureo', a former slave who, in a fantastic colonial Brazil, receives the blessings of his Orisha to free his people from slavery.

7. Veridiana, by Alan Silva

You play as creatures that live in a large tree, embarking on a deeply sentimental journey in search of a cure.

8. Karyu Densetsu, by Thiago Rosa and Nina Bichara

A game inspired by action anime and manga, with tactical combat, philosophical conversation, and passionate ideals.

9. Imperia, by Jonny Garcia

A game of politics and intrigue in a medieval court, inspired by Game of Thrones. Create a kingdom collaboratively and assume the role of the most influential people in it.

10. Goddess save the Queen, by Carol Neves and Julio Matos

A pulp adventure game in which you play as secret agents of the British Crown during the interwar period, with their own agenda connected in some way with their home nation.

11. Abismo Infinito ('Infinite Abyss'), by John Bogéa

A narrative game of psychological horror in which the protagonists are astronauts, far away in space, involved in a web of lucid nightmares and manifestations of their own fears.

12. Mojubá, by Lucas Conti and Lucas Sampaio

An Afrofuturistic urban fantasy game inspired by Yoruba and Afro-Brazilian mythologies. Play as a person with fantastic powers who descends from the Orixás, fights evil spirits, and occasionally gets into a rap battle.

13. Chopstick, by Igor Moreno

A game inspired by action movies of oriental martial arts, gang fights and crime, with a twist on Fate Accelerated.

14. Contos do Galeão ('Tales of the Galleon'), by Encho Chagas

Create together the legend of a vessel that would have existed during the Golden Age of Piracy. Players will create the ship, its pirates, as well as its enemies, challenges, and rewards.

15. O Cordel do Reino do Sol Encantado ('The Cordel of the Kingdom of the Enchanted Sun'), by Pedro Borges

A narrative game set in the northeastern 'cangaço' region at the beginning of the 20th century.

16. Através das Trevas ('Through the Darkness'), by Ramon Mineiro

A post-apocalyptic fantasy game inspired by The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, The Witcher and Diablo.

17. Nihilo, by Andre Osna and Gustavo Rolanski

A world very much like our own—yet bigger, deeper, and stranger. Secret banks are run by Urban Dragons, Infernal mafias terrorize slums, interdimensional portals open in the basements of abandoned pizzerias.

18. Caçada ao Colosso ('Hunt for the Colossus'), by Jairo Borges Filho

Reenact stories such as Siegfried and the dragon Fafnir, the Greek Odyssey or legends centered on the opposition of two primary forces of humanity.

19. Perdidos ('Lost'), by Marcelo Paschoalin

Inspired by Bloodborne and Dark Souls, a world in ruins, fragmented to the point where only memories remain. You'll find relics of yesteryear, monstrous beasts, beings that have forgotten their purpose, and devious paths to tread.

20. Hitodama - A jornada das almas ('The Journey of the Souls'), by Alexsander Araujo

You are Shinigamis: creatures half divinity, half Yokai, who must carry out missions through different worlds, fighting formidable enemies and saving lost souls.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

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There is no beauty in Music itself, the beauty is within the listener.

- Igor Stravinsky

“The idea of The Rite of Spring came to me while I was still composing Firebird,” Igor Stravinsky recalled, 45 years after the ballet’s first performance in 1913, in his book Conversations. “I had dreamed of a scene of pagan ritual in which a chosen sacrificial virgin danced herself to death.” If Stravinsky is to be believed, this dream marked the beginning of a process that culminated in the premiere of one of the 20th century’s most important musical works.

Stravinsky’s music was meant to capture the spirit of the scenario, which he had outlined with the help of painter and ethnographer Nikolai Roerich and dancer and choreographer Mikhail Fokine during the spring and summer of 1910. Roerich had filled Stravinsky’s head with tales about all sorts of rituals from ancient Russia – divinations, sacrifices, dances, and so on – involving a variety of characters. The ballet that resulted revolves around the return of spring and the renewal of the earth through the sacrifice of a virgin. In his handwritten version of the story, Stravinsky described The Rite as “a musical choreographic work. It represents pagan Russia and is unified by a single idea: the mystery and the great surge of the creative power of spring….”

Stravinsky completed the score on 29 March 1913, and exactly two months later, the ballet premiered in Paris at the Théâtre des Champs-Élysées, where it caused the famous scandal that ushered in modern music. Nijinsky’s choreography and the wild, unchecked power of Stravinsky’s score were something wholly new. Stravinsky wrote for one of his largest orchestras ever in The Rite of Spring, and he used it with an assurance and confidence one would hardly expect from a composer just out of his twenties and with only two big successes - The Firebird and Petrushka - behind him.

But those two scores, for all of their individuality and accomplishment, did not seem like they were leading to The Rite of Spring. What Stravinsky did was totally unexpected.

The stage action during the ballet’s second half, leading up to the sacrifice, was enough to capture the attention of even that raucous audience at the first performance. Finally quiet, they could hear Stravinsky’s score and watch as Maria Piltz, the dancer who played the sacrificial victim, stood motionless as the ritual unfolded around her, gradually coming to life to perform her dance, with its angular contortions and tortured motions.

What actually happened on that scandalous night will always be a mystery to some degree, because the reports contradict each other. Was it the choreography that annoyed people, or the music? Were the police really called? Was it true that missiles were thrown, and challenges to a duel offered? Were the creators booed at the end, or cheered?

The dancer Dame Marie Rambert remembered that right at the beginning ‘a shout went up in the gallery: “Un docteur!" (Call a doctor!). Somebody else shouted louder, “Un dentiste!" (a dentist!)’. The aristocrat Harry Kessler said that people started to whisper and joke almost immediately. Stravinsky himself was so angry that he stormed out and went backstage to help the dancers keep time.

What is certain is that the audience was shocked - and with good reason. Stravinsky’s score for The Rite of Spring contradicted every rule about what music should be. The sounds are often deliberately harsh, right from opening Lithuanian folk melody, which is played by the bassoon in its highest, most uncomfortable range. The music was cacophonously loud, assaulting the ears with thunderous percussion and shrieking brass. Rhythmically it was complex in a completely unprecedented way. In the ‘Ritual of the Rival Tribes’ the music unfolds in two speeds at once, in a ratio of 3:2. And it makes lavish use of dissonance, i.e. combinations of notes which don’t make normal harmonic sense. ‘The music always goes to the note next to the one you expect,’ wrote one exasperated critic.

Then there was the dance, choreographed by Nijinsky. According to some observers this was what really caused the scandal at the first night. When the curtain rose the audience saw a row of ‘knock-kneed and long-braided Lolitas jumping up and down’ as Stravinsky called them, who seemed to jerk rather than dance. Classical dance aspired upwards, in defiance of gravity, whereas Nijinsky’s dancers seemed pulled down to the earth. Their strange, stamping movements and awkward poses defied every canon of gracefulness.

Both the music and the dance of The Rite of Spring seemed to deny the possibility of human feelings, which for most people is what gives art its meaning. As Stravinsky put it, ‘there are simply no regions for soul-searching in The Rite of Spring’. This is what separates it so decisively from Stravinsky’s hit of 1911, Petrushka. There we’re immersed in a human world, which exudes the very specific cultural ambience of Russia. It’s true that the main characters are puppets, rather than rounded human beings. But they have characters, even if they’re somewhat rudimentary, and at the end there’s even a suggestion that Petrushka might have a soul.

* Pina Bausch's interpretation of Stravinksy's Rite. A masterpiece of modern dance.

[mariacallous]

Two years ago, if I had been able to peer into the not-too-distant future, I wouldn’t have understood half of what Ukrainians are talking about. The events we describe—Russia’s full-scale invasion, horrific war crimes—would have seemed surreal, as well as the words we use. Expletives are suddenly more acceptable for use by news anchors and even government officials. Abstract terms have specific connotations, such as tryvoha (“anxiety” or “a sense of foreboding”), now shorthand for povitryana tryvoha, or “air raid alert.” “Tired of tryvoha? Why not go for a run?” a billboard ad for a gym reads, seemingly referring to both meanings.

As the Ukrainian language reflects the transformation of a society amid war, the old-fashioned adjective svidomy has changed too, becoming a marker of reinvigorated national identity. Svidomy, which means “aware” or “conscious of something,” traditionally conveys political self-awareness and an acceptance of responsibilities to the homeland. In the recent past it described more fervent patriots, implying an obsession with Ukraine’s past and its struggle against Russian imperialism. When Russia invaded Crimea in 2014, the model citizens fundraising for supplies for Ukraine’s army were called svidomy. Other Ukrainians treated the war as a misunderstanding with Russia. “I’m probably not svidomy enough,” they might admit. “But I’m just tired of politics.”

The word svidomy is of Old East Slavic origin. One of its first recorded usages is in the medieval epic The Tale of Igor’s Campaign, which gives an account of the raid Prince Igor Svyatoslavych attempted against neighboring nomads—and of his defeat and demise. The text describes Igor’s soldiers as “svidomy warriors,” which many modern translations interpret as meaning they were either very loyal to their leader’s cause or generally very motivated to win. For much of its history, svidomy carried a certain drama that made it sound more natural in eulogies or history books than everyday speech.

Since Feb. 24, 2022, Ukrainians across the political spectrum have embraced svidomy, imbuing it with meaning that is both sacred and colloquial. Calling someone a svidomy hromadianyn (“aware citizen”) is high praise, describing volunteers and activists tragically killed on the front lines. People use the term to self-identify on social media; it graces T-shirts worn as a show of defiance in the face of war. In today’s Ukraine, being svidomy still signals caring about the past, but history’s lessons are now self-evident: Ukrainians have long fought for survival and succeeded, despite the odds. Being svidomy is no longer just a character trait—it’s a requisite of the times.

Svidomy’s meaning has evolved over the decades. During the Soviet era, it referred to political dissidents or to those who identified as Ukrainian rather than Soviet. (Curiously, a bastardized version of the word exists in Russian: The derogatory term svidomity describes Ukrainians deemed aggressively patriotic.) In the early years of Ukrainian independence, the activists fighting the systemic corruption left in the wake of the turbulent 1990s were called svidomy. At that time, the descriptor was usually a compliment, if one that suggested someone was overly idealistic or radical. It might also be used sarcastically—say, if someone stubbornly insisted on speaking Ukrainian when surrounded by people who preferred Russian.

The word became more commonplace during the 2014 Revolution of Dignity. What started as a peaceful protest against then-Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych ditching a trade deal with the European Union in favor of closer ties with Russia turned into a nationwide movement, culminating in Yanukovych’s ouster. The words svidomy and svidomist (the state of being svidomy) appeared on protest placards and in slogans in Maidan Square and throughout Ukraine. The Revolution of Dignity started to blur the distinctions between activists across the political spectrum. It showed that in Ukraine, anarchists and radical leftists could find common ground with their right-wing counterparts if the situation called for it.

Yet in 2019, when down-to-earth, Russian-speaking comedian Volodymyr Zelensky defeated conservative Petro Poroshenko to take the Ukrainian presidency in a landslide, Poroshenko’s supporters began describing themselves as svidomy—in contrast to Zelensky voters, who they characterized as apolitical and not invested enough in Ukraine’s future. Poroshenko’s supporters questioned whether Zelensky and his team could stand up to Russian President Vladimir Putin if Putin escalated the conflict in eastern Ukraine. When asked about the issue at the time, Zelensky said he and Putin would “find a common ground” to reach peace.

To Zelensky’s critics, such compromise not only would have been unpatriotic, but also would have proven that the new president hadn’t learned necessary lessons from Ukrainian history: that Russia’s attacks reflected its imperialist ambitions, and that it would see attempts at making peace as a sign of weakness.

Of course, last year, Russia launched a full-scale invasion of Ukraine that was supposed to last three days and end with Russian tanks leading a victory parade through Kyiv. Zelensky—along with Ukrainians from all backgrounds—turned out to be svidomy enough to stand up Putin’s army, even when much of the world thought they didn’t stand a fighting chance.

If the meaning of svidomy was up for discussion before, those arguments ceased on Feb. 24, 2022. Anyone who considered themselves Ukrainian enough to help their country amid peril—no matter whom they voted for—was svidomy. Even those with little emotional attachment to their homeland became defiantly Ukrainian when foreign soldiers were willing to shoot them in the back. It didn’t matter if someone called themself ethnically Russian, was the world’s biggest Dostoyevsky fan, or didn’t agree with the concept of nation-states.

People from across the political spectrum suddenly shared a higher goal and a set of values they were willing to work together to protect. Anarchists signed up for territorial defense units and volunteered for the Ukrainian army. Ardent Poroshenko supporters declared their support for Zelensky’s government. Political figures who had argued for decades seemed to put that behind them. Not all disagreements were resolved overnight, but full-scale war certainly fostered a feeling of mutual trust, of shared awareness.

Used in the past to mock those considered too radical, or to differentiate oneself from those deemed too careless, the word svidomy now signifies a specific Ukrainian unity. It shows what Ukrainians mean when we say that our homeland is a political state: If one considers themself part of the Ukrainian community, they cannot be insufficiently Ukrainian. Since the war began, any irony about being svidomy has vanished. After all, why would we joke about being aware of our identity when it puts us in the line of fire?

[darklinaforever]

Me seeing people say that in the film I am dragon there is no coherence because it is winter in the girl's village and borderline tropical weather on the dragon island. The distance between the village and the island is not specified. And how does this delirium work ? Only love can allow man to reach the island, since both must love each other to find each other ! Why ?! And how could Arman know that ? And then it comes out where fog comes from ? And then Amran was born at the time of Igor's grandfather ! That does not make any sense ! This movie is stupid ! How can I put it...

These pseudo-intellectuals are getting to me. But with strength. This movie is a fucking fairy tale inspired by Beauty and the Beast ! Are you looking for realism without magic in a fairy tale ?!

Is the climate different between the village and the island ? Like in Beauty and the Beast where it's winter at the Beast's house and not in the village, or in the French version in black and white where it's night at the Beast's house when it's daylight in Belle's village. How far away is the island that the climate is so different ? The island is a fucking magical place, hence the different climate, and we don't care exactly how far it is from the village ! Oh it makes no sense that the power of love can reach the island. Once again FAIRY TALE ! How does Arman know this story ? Well it's simply a legend that one of his ancestors must have learned at one time or another through humans ?! And seeing that once transformed into a dragon Amran had access to the memories of these ancestors he knew it ?! I don't know, a little imagination ! It’s a fucking fairy tale ! If no one can find the island, why is there an animal ?! It's a fucking magical island with a visibly magical creature that also looks like one of the toys the heroine made at the beginning of the film... A bit as if this animal was only a symbolism of transposition of the young girl's dreams of Mira, exactly like the dragon that she also made at the beginning of the film... My god... and it seems intelligent to make this kind of remark ?! And then, the "oh it doesn't make any sense that Amran was still a young man when he was a child when Igor's grandfather swooped in to kill his father" well maybe he's just aging way too much different than humans ?! He's a fucking magical being ! Either he is potentially immortal, or he ages more slowly ! You know... the two versions we often see when we see individuals alternating between a dragon form and a human form in fiction ?

Besides, I choose to think that Amran simply ages more slowly. No, because thinking he's immortal would be depressing. And I doubt that if a dragon was immortal, Amran's ancestors would have taken such care to always have descendants.

Anyway, it's depressing to see this kind of pseudo-intellectual bullshit criticizing a fucking fairy tale. Something designed to be literally unrealistic and magical !

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch: “Game of Drones”

The basics: A bombing at a drone facility kills one, injures another and sets off the search for some terrorists in Los Angeles.

Written by: R. Scott Gemmill wrote/cowrote “The Only Easy Day”, “Brimstone”, “Breach”, “LD50”, “Found”, “Borderline”, “Absolution”, “Archangel”, “Tin Soldiers”, “Impostors”, “Cyberthreat”, “Honor”, “The Watchers” and both sides of the NCIS Los: Angeles/Hawaii Five-0 “Touch of Death” episodes, “Recruit”, “Free Ride”, “Wanted”, “Ravens and The Swans”, “Impact”, “War Cries”, both ends of the “Deep Trouble” season five finale/season six premiere, “Inelegant Heart”, “Praesidium”, “Traitor”, “Active Measures” (season seven premiere), “Blame It On Rio”, “Internal Affairs”, “Matryoshka” part one, "Talion" (season seven finale), “High Value Target”/”Belly of the Beast” (season eight premieres), “The Queen’s Gambit”, “Under Siege”, “Unleashed” (season eight finale), “Party Crashers” (season nine’s premiere), “This Is What We Do” (episode 200), “Các Tù Nhân”, “Goodbye Vietnam”, “Ninguna Salida” (the season nine finale), “Hit List”, “Asesinos”, “Till Death Do Us Part”, “Choke Point”, “The Guardian”, “Hail Mary”, “Kill Beale Vol. 1”, “Alsiyadun”, “Fortune Favors the Brave”, “The Bear” (season 12 premiere), “Angry Karen”, “Love Kills”, “Russia, Russia, Russia”, “The Noble Maidens”, “A Tale of Two Igors” (season 12 finale), "Subject 17" (season 13 premiere), "All The Little Things", “MWD” and “Work and Family”.

Directed by: Kevin Berlandi. Berlandi is new to NCIS: Los Angeles. He has directed episodes of Criminal Minds, Bull and Partner Track.

Guest stars of note: Kavi Ramachandran Ladnier returns as NCIS Reserve Agent Shyla Dahr from “Work and Family”. Both Natalia Del Riego as Rosa Reyes and Richard Gant as Raymond Hanna are back from “Come Together”. Jennifer Marshall as Navy Commander Neal, Jamil Zraikat as Cyrus Karimian, Jenapher Zheng as Janice Ng, Anna Rajo as Maria Estevez, Turhan Troy Caylak as Darius “Bunny” Vale and Ramona Dubarry as Monica Tavares

Our heroes: Are back at it for season 14.

What important things did we learn about:

Callen: Asks to bring Hetty’s remains home from Syria if she was the one who perished. Sam: Bringing his father to an activity center so he can swim, play pool and poker. Kensi: Sniper. Deeks: Would have been killed without Sniper Wife. Fatima: Doling out assignments. Rountree: Starts an interview with an engineer and ends up defending what he does. Kilbride: Commandeering helicopters.

What not so important things did we learn about:

Callen: Self-titled world’s coolest uncle. Sam: Not thrilled his father broke away from the activity center. Kensi: First day school drop off. Deeks: Not built for first day school drop off or public restrooms. Fatima: Old show went into syndication so Fatima has cool new wheels. Rountree: Calculus is better than is algebra. Kilbride: Betting his non-existent grandchildren.

Where in the world is Henrietta Lange? Not in a schoolhouse/safe house in Syria although some of her alias IDs were.

Who's down with OTP: Kensi and Deeks get to be anxious parents dropping Rosa off for her first day at school. They have a long and serious conversation bracketed between some Deeks jokes about how brutal their jobs can be, how awful the world is and that letting Rosa into the world to be her best self is an act of faith that the world will be kind.

Who's down with BrOTP: Not a lot of BrOTP situations. Callen works with Fatima, Rountree is mostly solo and Sam is only around at the end.

Fashion review: Callen is wearing a red, white and blue plaid button-down. Long sleeve black tee-shirt for Sam. Kensi wears a blood-red tee-shirt. Deeks starts the episode in a pale purple tee-shirt before wearing an LAFD fire inspector/marshal’s uniform undercover. White turtleneck for Fatima with a buttery looking black leather jacket (spectacular!). Rountree is wearing a blue, white and grey jacket over a pale blue tee. Dark blue three-piece suit, white dress shirt and blue and white tie for the Admiral.

Music: Not today.

Any notable cut scene: See music.

Quote: Kensi: “You know, all this is making me feel like I want to call Rosa and check in on her.” Deeks: “Okay, pull up on that stick there, helicopter mom, because she's fine. You just need to give her some space and time to find herself and-and to grow. Put the phone down.” Kensi: “Yeah, I know, but how many parents dropped their kids off at school only to never see them again because of another school shooting” Deeks: “Okay, you can't, you can't think like that.” Kensi: “How can you not think like that?” Deeks: “I mean, all right, you can consider the possibility, you can do the drills, but at some point, you just have to give in and believe in a greater good. I just feel like that's getting harder and harder to do. Yeah, well, that's why they call it faith.”

Anything else: A security guard is making his way through an engineering firm. The firm builds drones. The guard’s route is very deliberate, logging in and out of areas as he makes his way through building. As he gets near the exit, he sees a janitor’s cart just off the entrance.

Exiting the building, the guard locks up and logs out. There is a massive explosion. The guard is thrown ten feet from the door and fiery debris lands all around him.

Cue the new credits – a little red in the logo.

A really overprotective Kensi and Deeks are dropping Rosa off at school. Deeks is worried about bullying which makes Rosa nervous about bullying. Kensi and Deeks will pick her up after school but will text if there is a delay. There is a back-up plan with “Naomi’s mom”. After reviewing the alarm code for the house and the panic code, Rosa is finally on her way. Kensi and Deeks rethink their plan with home schooling a possibility. Deeks announces “I’m not built for this.”

As Sam is ready to take his father to an adult activity center, Raymond is walking around in his pajamas and slippers. Raymond is has no interest in “adult day-care”. Sam sells the place which has a gym, pool and library. Raymond is fine with Sam leaving him at a gym, a pool or a library. Sam notes this place has all three. The two bicker before Sam asks Raymond to just try the place. Since they have billiards and poker, Raymond is a little more interested but disappointed that the poker games aren’t for money. “The only fun is when you’re winning real money.” Mrs. Williams, Raymond’s caretaker, will be picking him up at the end of the day. Raymond complains about her driving. He’s also not keen on the idea of making new friends at the activity center since as soon as you get to know someone, they die. The only new things there are hips and pacemakers. Sam is patient with his father as he makes old age jokes.

Arriving through the side door, Fatima sees Callen looking at party venues. She offers some help – she’s good at planning things. Callen was looking for wedding venues. Fatima asks what does Anna want. Anna is torn between a trip to City Hall and Arkady’s dream of recreating “Doctor Zhivago”, complete with horses and snow. Fatima asks if Callen has a theme – traditional, fantasy, cosplay. Callen asks about “fantasy” and Fatima goes on including Sam as a troll, Deeks as a pixie, Kilbride as a wizard. Shaking his head, Callen tells Fatima he’s going to run these roles by them to see what they think. Fatima says no. “It doesn’t hurt to ask,” Callen replies. Fatima knows he’s kidding and asks that he not. Shyla interrupts, Kilbride needs to see Callen.

Walking to Kilbride’s office, Callen asks Shyla what’s up. She isn’t sure but there has been a communique from Syria. In his office, Kilbride tells Shyla to hold his calls and patch the Commander through to the plasma in his office. Commander Neal pops up on the screen. With the help of the Syrian Democratic Forces, Neal and her team were doing some recon work. At an abandoned school, known to be a safehouse, there was an ambush. Human remains were found, burned beyond recognition. One body had documents identifying them as Trudy Chambers, an American female. Callen looks stunned. Asking if the remains of Chambers were that of a small woman, Neal confirms they were. Dental records and DNA is still be checked. She will contact them when they have an ID. Trudy Chambers is one of Hetty’s aliases.

In Ops, Fatima arrives and asks Shyla what’s the new case. There is television coverage of the explosion and fire at Havlock/Haines Aerospace the prior night. Havlock/Haines builds remote piloted vehicles for the Navy. A janitor was killed, the security guard was badly injured. ATF said the bomb was nitroamine high explosive. The dead janitor was Luis Estevez, the guard Morgan Reynolds. Neither fits the profile of a bomber – more wrong place, wrong time. Fatima will go to the crime scene with Callen, Kensi and Deeks will look into the janitor while Rountree looks into the security guard. Shyla seems a little surprised that Fatima is doling out assignments – that is usually the job of a more senior agent. Since Shyla does not see a more senior agent in Ops, “go get ‘em girl,” is her advice.

Asking if the remains will be flown back to the US, Kilbride tells Callen they will be if they are positively identified. Callen wants to accompany them. Kilbride agrees. Callen then brings up Harris Keane, who was travelling with Hetty. Once the forensic team completes their work, the Admiral thinks they’ll know more. Knowing if she was ambushed at a safe house – even if it wasn’t Hetty – Callen believes she’s in danger. Kilbride disagrees – Hetty was in danger the minute she went back to Syria. And there are no safe houses in Syria right now. But since this is Hetty, she has more lives than a barn cat and is just as mean. Callen nods his head in agreement.

In the boatshed’s main room, Kensi and Deeks are speaking to Maria Estevez, daughter of janitor Luis Estevez. After offering condolences, they asks Maria about her father. He liked working as the night janitor – the money was good and it left him time during the day for other projects. As a skilled carpenter and mason, Estevez worked construction jobs when they came up. Kensi asks when did he sleep. Maria has an immediate answer – Sundays. During family dinners in the fall, he’d doze off watching football. Deeks asks why did Estevez work two jobs. Maria explains that years ago, her immigrant father worked two jobs to make ends meet. In recent years, especially after the death of his wife/Maria’s mother from COVID two years ago, it was to keep busy. Estevez did not work with explosives but loved fireworks. The Estevez family loved to put on a display. Asking if there were any financial issues, drugs, enemies, Maria states her father was a gentle and caring man who did anything to help others. Since Maria was told Estevez died in a factory accident, she wants to know what’s going on. Kensi and Deeks would like to see Estevez’s home.

A sullen Callen is a bit surprised by Fatima’s new Porsche. She explains her old TV show was just sold into syndication. When Callen notes the vehicle isn’t subtle, Fatima replies that in LA, subtle stands out. Callen is still distracted so Fatima asks if he is OK. He updates her about the body found in Syria. Fatima offers condolences and asks if they can do anything. They can’t so they should work the case.

Calling in to Ops from outside the hospital, Rountree has no luck with the security guard. He’s lawyered up but even if he didn’t, his doctor said he was in no condition to be questioned. Shyla notes he was healthy enough to find a lawyer. The Admiral wants the hospital staff and the lawyer to be put on notice, “as soon as he can eat his Jell-O, he better start talking.” Shyla is going to get a warrant to search Reynolds’s residence while the Admiral wants to question the staff at Havlock/Haines about Reynolds.

At the crime scene, Callen and Fatima are in the bombed out facility. The sleek, modern place is now a mass of burnt walls, cables and wires hanging from the ceiling, rubble all over. Speaking to executive Monica Tavares, she explains that the explosion is a financial hit to the company. Not only do they have to rebuild but they are not going to meet certain orders from contracts. Callen asks if she knows who would do something like this. Tavares has a list – anarchists, right-wing extremists, anti-war activists. Fatima asks about industry rivals or disgruntled employees. There are some – a few staffers left after they started working for the government – conscientious objections to making “weapons of war”. When Fatima asks for contact info, Taveras agrees to cooperate but makes it clear, none of them would blow up the building.

Callen asks if there were any other issues in recent weeks and months. Nothing as obvious as blowing up the facility but Havlock/Haines has been subject to a “relentless” series of cyber-attacks. The company is working on where they are coming from but no luck finding who is behind them. Callen gets a call from Shyla who has the terribly burned corpse of Luis Estevez on the big screen (ick, show, ick). Estevez was already dead for several hours when the explosion occurred.

Later speaking to Fatima, if Estevez was dead before the explosion, they likely used him to get into the building. Fatima agrees – the bombers killed Estevez, used his ID to get into the building, probably put his body and the bomb into something like a cleaning cart. That would be Fatima’s plan. Callen finds it scary but thinks it would be a good way to dispose of the body. Fatima agrees – it would make it look like Estevez died in the explosion.

Walking around the immaculate home of Luis Estevez, Kensi is on the phone with Callen. Thinking unless he was Jekyll and Hyde, Kensi believes Estevez was Mr. Rogers only more neat. Callen wants Kensi to check if Maria has power of attorney so they can access his phone and financials. Fatima asks about home security but Estevez barely locked is doors. Fatima wants to check the neighbors’ security systems to see if anyone was following Estevez. Kensi will ask. They also want Kensi to ask about Estevez’s daily routine. Meanwhile, Estevez’s Jeep is going to NCIS’s carport – they will check to see if he had GPS.

Moving to the kitchen, Maria is packing up the food in her father’s home. She talks about her father’s truck. Deeks assures her the truck will be released to the family when NCIS is done with it. Maria seems less worried about that, more thinking about how much her father loved the truck. It was his first ever new vehicle. Kensi asks about power-of-attorney. Maria got it after her mother passed away, her father got all his paperwork in order. Kensi tells Maria that they can take info from her father’s phone and financial records and maybe find who killed him. Maria is weeping. Deeks looks so uncomfortable. Kensi, seeing Maria’s distress, asks if she would be able to come up with her father’s daily routine, “Can you do that?” Maria says she can try.

Outside of the house, Kensi and Deeks are wrecked about the pain of the day. Deeks makes a joke about the pain being as bad as kidney stones, annoying Kensi. He extends to the joke to childbirth, leading Kensi to calling him an idiot. When Deeks says he’s joking, Kensi wants to know why. “Because if I don’t joke, this job is too sad for me to keep doing it.” Kensi understands but thinks he’s an idiot – a loveable one. All the sadness has Kensi wanting to call Rosa and see if she’s OK. Deeks stops her – this is Rosa’s time to “find herself and to grow.” Kensi brings up school shootings, something Deeks does not want to think about. It is what Kensi thinks about. Deeks tells her they can do the drills and prepare Rosa the best they can but at some point “you just have to give in and believe in a greater good.” Kensi finds that hard to do but Deeks tells her that’s what faith is. “I mean George Michael even wrote a song about it.” Deeks makes some George jokes.

Arriving at Ops, the Admiral wants a sit-rep. Shyla fills him in on the team’s status. She is also working with NCIS CYBER to find who is behind the cyber-attacks against Havlock/Haines. The Admiral figures that whoever did this was willing to kill an innocent man and used high end explosives – they are not militia “idiots”. Shyla suggests industrial espionage – a rival company that wants some of the hundreds of millions of dollars available in military contracts. The Admiral is rooting for that because the alternative is state sponsored terrorism.

As Kilbride walks back to his office, Callen calls up from the bullpen, looking for news about the remains and Trudy Chambers. Kilbride assures Callen he would have updated him if there was any news from Syria. The Admiral’s more pressing concern is whoever blew up Havlock/Haines since they like aren’t done. He wants Callen focused on the task at hand and not Hetty. “Now go catch these bastards before they strike again.”

In the carport, Fatima is working on Estevez’s truck. She tells Callen that the vehicle was wiped clean – she can still smell the bleach. Callen gets a call from Alex asking if she wants to hang out with Jake. Fatima wishes she had a niece or nephew – it seems like fun. Callen agrees it is while they are young. When they get a little older, less time for the world’s coolest uncle and more time for teenage girls. Fatima asks if Callen gave himself the designation of world’s coolest uncle. Callen wants to know who is cooler than he is? After Fatima laughs, she announces he’s cool, “like supercool.” “Let’s not oversell it.”

In the boatshed, Rountree and Shyla on the plasma are chatting. He is meeting with Janice Ng who left Havlock/Haines when they started working for the DoD. Shyla gets an alert from CYBER – the source of the attack is coming from Beirut, Lebanon.

With Fatima and Callen back in Ops with Shyla, they are discussing Lebanon being an US ally but Hezbollah, a militant group with a political arm, is not. Callen brings up two Hezbollah operatives who were arrested in the US for planning acts of terrorism. Those arrests were for fundraising and weapon buys but things may have gotten more aggressive since the US’s relationship with Iran gets worse. Iran funds a lot of Hezbollah’s actions. Asking about Estevez’s truck, Callen tells Shyla that the truck was wiped clean as was his GPS. Callen wants a list from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence of any known Hezbollah members in the US, especially anyone on the West Coast.

In the boat shed, Janice Ng explains she joined Havlock/Haines to be part of the team that put the first person on Mars. She did not sign up to build weapons of mass destruction. Rountree tells her the drones aren’t weapons of mass destruction. Ng disagrees – they could be armed with a nuclear weapon. Rountree points out they aren’t but Ng thinks he’s being naïve. But she thinks it is Rountree’s job to cover up the military’s crimes against humanity. Explaining that it isn’t his job to cover up anything, Rountree is there to find the truth about who set the bomb at Havlock/Haines. Ng is annoyed – since she quit for not wanting to be “a warmonger”, she’s being treated as a suspect. She’s waiting for Rountree to beat a confession out of her.

Deeks arrives at the boat shed with Kensi right behind him. Rountree explains that he isn’t there to beat a confession out of Ng. Pointing to his wife, Deeks tells Ng that what Kensi is there to do as he walks into the restroom. Kensi tells Ng Deeks is just kidding. Rountree updates Kensi on his questioning and Ng lawyers up. Rountree tells her she doesn’t need a lawyer. After she warns them against railroading her, Rountree just cuts Ng loose.

Sighing that it is just “one of those days”, Rountree tells Kensi he’s gotten nothing from the former Havlock/Haines staffers. Kensi explains that they got some security footage and were going to Ops when “somebody needed a potty break.” Deeks returns from the restroom where they’re out of towels so he airdries his hands all over Kensi and Rountree. He explains that he would rather use their restroom than some public restroom. Rountree is more concerned that some of Deeks’s air-drying got into his mouth.

Contacting Ops, Kensi pulls out the thumb drive with the security camera footage and sends it to Shyla. Shyla has camera footage from other places as she tries to stitch together Estevez’s day. Kensi and Deeks are on their way to Ops to help Shyla. Deeks signals to Rountree that he probably shouldn’t use the restroom.

In the bullpen, Callen is reviewing some street camera footage with Fatima. With the coroner estimating Estevez’s time of death around 4PM, Callen sees white van for Bunny Vale Laundry and Dry Cleaning outside of his house at 11AM. The branded van is still there two-hours later. While it could be a long lunch or a day off, it is just as likely a stakeout. In Ops, Shyla has info on Bunny Vale Laundry, a chain in LA. Tracing the specific van, for the last few days, it was always near Estevez, either at his home or following him around.

Bunny Vale Laundry is owned by Darius “Bunny” Vale and his wife Sara. They are first-generation Persian-Americans, born in America. No links to Hezbollah but Fatima wonders if Vale is using his business as a front. There is a laundering money suggestion from Shyla – she really does fit right in. Callen and Fatima are going to speak to Vale.

In interrogation, Darius “Bunny” Vale is on the wrong side of the table. Callen shows him a photo of the laundry truck outside of Estevez’s home. Vale claims to have over a dozen vans like it. Callen tells Vale the van was used in a crime. Vale was worried something like that would happen – the van was stolen. Callen mentions there was no police report but Vale says the truck was gone for a while and then returned. He never knew it was missing until one of his employees found it. Since there was no damage to the van, he didn’t report it, figuring it was some teenage joyriders. The van was found near one of Vale’s locations by an employee who was with Vale for years. “Anything else?”

Pulling out his phone, Callen shows Vale Estevez’s dead body. Vale expresses his disgust in Farsi. Callen explains that Estevez was a father and a grandfather who was likely murdered in Vale’s van. When the forensic team goes through the “stolen” van, if they find any evidence Vale will be connected to Estevez’s murder and the attack on Havlock/Haines. Fatima asks how long as Vale supported Hezbollah. Vale is stunned – he’s never supported Hezbollah. Callen threatens a trip to Guantanamo Bay but Vale claims he had nothing to do with what happened.

When Callen says “last chance” to Vale, he explains he can’t help, “they’ll hurt my family.” Fatima offers protection but Vale is speaking about his family in Tehran. While NCIS has agents all over the world, they are not in Iran. Fatima tells him the threat is to his family in the US as well as Iran. If he helps them, they can stop threat.

Vale explains that two men demanded a van, was told if he didn’t cooperate his family in Iran would pay the price. He was told to not ask any questions and to not tell anyone. Vale gave them the van and then the van was returned. Vale doesn’t have much information – he didn’t know the men, he didn’t know where they were staying. In Farsi, Fatima tells Vale he needs to help them. He is in danger if he doesn’t cooperate. Vale mentions a friend named Ava who was threatened as well. She had to provide a place where the men could work. Callen wants Sam called in – this is a full team operation.

Joining Callen, Fatima and Rountree at an office park, Sam and the team are all wearing their kevlar with the big guns out. He thinks this assignment is easier than getting his father to behave. When Fatima asks how Raymond is doing, Sam replies he’s doing everything possible to make him crazy. The Admiral has had enough chit-chat – and Deeks isn’t even involved. Fatima and Rountree take one entrance, Sam and Callen take another. Shyla tells the team the building is owned by Ava Safari with only a 26% occupancy rate due to COVID. The terrorists are set-up on a vacant office floor. The Admiral considers them armed and they are dangerous since they have access to high end explosives. He warns them of booby traps. That doesn’t sit well with Deeks, who is dress as a fire marshal/inspector. “I’m not the bomb disposal guy.”

Deeks walks through one of the offices. It is empty though there is a cot and a lantern flashlight in an open area. He is approached by a man asking why Deeks is there. After saying he’s happy the place is rented again, Deeks claims to be LAFD there for the building’s monthly inspection. The man wants Deeks to leave and return the following day. Deeks explains he can’t do that. Deeks is walking ahead of the man, through the office. He is rambling about the inspecting the Nakatomi Plaza – nice “Die Hard” shoutout – and puts on soundproof headphones because he’s about to set off the building’s alarms. The man behind Deeks pulls out his gun. Kensi says “weapon” and takes out the man from an office building a healthy distance away. “Tango down.” Deeks seems surprised.

Callen and Sam join Deeks – “Nice shot honey,” Deeks calls to Kensi. He starts talking about having a BB right under his scalp from being shot by Darrel Dinkins. Sam mentioned the BB migrating to Deeks’s brain. An arriving Fatima and Rountree enjoy the show. Deeks tells Sam he missed him. “I bet you did.”

While Fatima sends the dead man’s prints to Ops, Callen has the dead man’s burner phone and wants to Shyla to check the contacts and any GPS info. Sam finds a Canadian passport for the dead man issued to Cyrus Karimain from Fort Erie, Ontario. It is likely a fake. Sam has four other passports for four other men. There may be an entire cell in Los Angeles.

Deeks find a trash pail full of shredded documents. One looks like a map but he could only figure it out if he was the Amazing Kreskin. Fatima doesn’t know who the Amazing Kreskin is. “That was before Google,” Sam tells her. Callen finds something and shows it to Sam. It is a symbol of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps’s staff college. The men in the office aren’t Hezbollah, they are Iranian special operatives who usually train proxies to fight, not do the fighting themselves. The Admiral knew this was state sponsored and is willing to bet his grandchildren that the drones that took out Soleimani was manufactured by Havlock/Haines. Shyla notes the Admiral doesn’t have grandchildren. “This team America, is payback.”

Tracing the location of the cellphone numbers in the dead man’s phone, they are all traveling on the PCH, just passing Malibu. While Deeks thinks they are surfers, Sam realizes they’re going to Point Magu. Point Magu is the home of the Triton drone project. The Admiral wants the team in helicopters on their way to the base in two minutes. When Shyla asks how, the Admiral doesn’t care – Coast Guard, National Guard, borrow a TV traffic helicopter.

At Point Magu’s entrance, a Bunny Vale Landry Van shoots its way past a guard station. The sole guard tries to fire on the men but is overwhelmed by four men with military weapons. Driving the van into the base, there are two barrel in the back with explosives. The men all exit the van before it plows into a trailer with a satellite on top. Since this is NCIS: Los Angeles, there is a massive explosion.

One of the men tries to enter a structure next to the structure that just was blown up. He has a keycard to get in but the door does not open. Callen comes out from the side of the structure and tells the man “nobody’s home.” The men are surrounded by Callen and Sam on the right, Kensi, Fatima and Rountree on their left and Deeks from the top of the structure. Behind the on the ground team is more armed Navy sailors. It was set-up as a kill box. Fatima starts ordering the men to surrender in Farsi. The men surrender. Deeks wonders how he is getting off the building – he asks Rountree to catch him.

Stepping away, Sam has a call from Mrs. Williams, his father’s caretaker. Raymond left the activity center without the caretaker. He instead left with a woman named Victoria. Callen is impressed – one day at the activity center and Raymond has a girlfriend. Callen thinks Sam could learn a little something from his father.

In the armory, Kensi, Deeks, Fatima and Rountree are dropping off their gear. Fatima thinks they should go out for drinks and Rountree should pay. This surprises Rountree until Fatima says she’s buying. Deeks offers to take everyone out to dinner if Rosa could join them. Kensi steps in – not on a school night. Deeks asks how is Rountree’s calculus. It is better than his algebra but it is not very good.

Pouring two glasses of scotch, the Admiral offers an arriving Callen a glass. Callen asks if he is going to need it. The Admiral thinks the longer Callen stays in their business, he will but he won’t need it today for Hetty “Not now anyway,” he tells Callen. The remains were of a female child, not Hetty. Callen asks why were Hetty’s IDs found on a dead child. The Admiral thinks Hetty planted them. Without the forensics the US military has, anyone who saw the remains and the ID thinks Hetty is dead. Thinking Hetty is in trouble – and the Admiral saying she was in the trouble the minute she went to Syria, Callen asks for permission to look for her. That’s a no from the Admiral. If they had actionable intel, they would go. Until then, Hetty is on her own.

Saying he has a lot of personal time, Callen is thinking of going anyway. The Admiral makes it clear LA just had foreign terrorists attack a building and a Naval Station so there will be no going halfway around the world “searching for your surrogate mommy.” Telling the Admiral to enjoy his scotch, Callen storms out. The Admiral drinks his own scotch and then Callen’s untouched glass, saying he intends to.

Not enjoying his scotch is Sam, sitting with a glass at his dining room table. Raymond sneaks in almost like a teenager caught by his parents. Sam asks where his father was. Raymond said he took Sam’s advice and made some friends. Sam thinks Raymond should have called. Raymond is sure he sent a text but he didn’t. This is every parent-child discussion about being out late with friends, just with the roles reversed. When Raymond says he’s not a child, Sam tells him he's acting like one. Yep, parent-child in reverse. Sam is angry that Raymond “hooked up with a woman on your first damn day. An angry Raymond talks about Victoria, who is married to Cliff, a bedridden veteran. After his time at the activity center, Raymond went to see Cliff, providing him such much needed company. Sam is instantly remorseful until Raymond makes it clear that he also provided Victoria some much needed company. Sam isn’t sure his father is joking as Raymond says good night.

They changed the fonts on the credits too.

What head canon can be formed from here: Sort of an update to the season 13 finale – Callen is looking at wedding venues, Sam is dealing with his father, Kensi and Deeks are taking Rosa to her first day of school. Family continues to play a big part.

Shyla is great with the team. She has a different relationship with Kilbride – more casual and fun than any of the team members.

Visiting the bombed out drone place had to be pretty brutal to Callen, who less than an hour earlier learned his “surrogate mommy” may have met her end in a similar action.

The Kensi and Deeks conversation about doing their jobs in the world we live in has been going on now since season eight. This was another variation of it with Kensi sounding a little more done this time.

The program used real events – the arrest of two Hezbollah terrorists, the bombing of Soleimani- to make the story go.

Episode number: Season 14 (a healthy run for any program), episode one. Episode 303 overall. These recaps will go up every Friday (save one in mid-March) until season 14 wraps.

[themuppetmasterencyclopedia]

Happy New Year ya little devils...

The Devil from the Muppet Show 1980

The Devil is, in many cultures, the central embodiment of evil usually referenced as a rebellious demon who is the enemy of God. Amongst his many names, he has been called Satan, the "Prince of Darkness," Beelzebub, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, and most commonly, the Devil (in some literature implying that amongst a myriad of devils, he is the primary). In many cultures, he is recognized in visual form as having been derived from the Greek gods Pan and Dionysus in appearance and modus operandi. The devil is often seen as the proprietor of Hell.

As seen in episode 420 of The Muppet Show in a recreation of the Charlie Daniels Band song "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," the Devil challenges Johnny to a fiddling match. The stakes are Johnny's soul against the Devil's fiddle of gold. After a volley of hickory stump plucking, the Devil admits defeat and vanishes in a puff of smoke.

"The Devil Went Down to Georgia" could be viewed as a variation on a Russian folk tale/parable set to music in 1918 by composer Igor Stravinsky, entitled Histoire du soldat. The essential difference between the two versions is that in "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" the protagonist wins, whereas in "The Soldier's Tale", the protagonist loses.

The Devil also appears as the former scorned lover of an angel in the song "You're No Good" in the same episode, and later in episode 509 with a trio of demons during "One Way or Another".

It was also implied that the Devil is Alice Cooper's boss in episode 307, and that the guest star is trying to recruit lost souls for his master. After Alice fails to win Miss Piggy over to the dark side, it becomes clear that the Devil does not pay commissions on hourly rentals. In the final moments of the closing number, "School's Out," Alice sheds his cap and gown to reveal himself dressed as the Devil himself in a torn, red leotard replete with pointy tail, top hat, and pitchfork

[propalahramota]

Hello, mutuals, my kith and kin, time for a super specific historical beef!

I know, it's been a while.

I stumbled on the post below in the Ukraine tag and I was very surprised by it. Usually when I go to that tag, I'm annoyed by pro-russian bigots and tankies, but this time I was annoyed by a stupid Normanist take! Fun!

This blog, which gives me bad vibes so I used a screenshot instead of reblogging, claims that the Kingdom of Kyiv is a 100 percent Viking-made, and those dirty Slavs had no ability to govern themselves.

I say: Bullshit!

And let me make it very clear that I don't agree on anything with putin. He is a psycho and war criminal who uses his own pseudohistorical delusions to justify his imperialist conquest. Both him and the author of this post are wrong.

Let me tell you why:

Our main source on the early Kyivan Rus is The Primary Chronicle by Nestor, also known as The Tale of Bygone Years. It's not a contemporary source. Nestor wrote decades after the most recent of the events he's describing, using the stories he had heard himself as well as earlier Byzantine chronicles. Thus, as you can imagine, it's not super accurate in places, and sometimes the author leaves pretty big gaps in the narrative that historians have worked to fill in.

For example, King Igor (aka Ingvarr) came to rule Kyiv after the death of his predecessor Oleg the Clairvoyant (aka Helgi), who himself had come to rule Kyiv after two guys called Askold and Dir. Nestor calls Igor Rurik's son but timeline-wise the math isn't mathing, so it's much more likely that he was Oleg's son, or nephew, or something like that. Igor marries Olga (aka also Helgi).

And then something really weird happens.

Ingvarr and Helgi have a son with a super unusual for a Viking aristocrat name - Svyatoslav.

And then Svyatoslav has three sons named Oleg (one more Helgi), Yaropolk, and Vladymir.

Vladymir ends up taking the throne and, being a massive manwhore, has a bunch of kids - most of them have Slavic names and some have Greek names. Vladymir is succeeded by Yaroslav the Wise.

It may not seem like a big deal but the King of Kyiv and his wife, who were both Viking nobility, suddenly decided to name their heir and only child a Slavic name. And after him, the old traditional Northern names completely go out of use in the dynasty.

Which means that somewhere in the early Xth century, which is not at all long after the establishment of the Rurikid dynasty in Kyiv (mid IXth century), there was a monumental shift in the Kyivan court politics that urged the foreigners on the throne to make a public effort to assimilate with the local population. We don't know what happened. Nestor never told us because he either didn't know himself or didn't think it was worth mentioning, but this monumental shift is right there, between the lines.

And you are going to tell me that the local Kyiv elites had no say in the government? That Rus Statehood was completely imported and foreign? That the Kingdom of Kyiv was invented by the Scandinavian conquerors?

I say: read the fucking sources, twats!

[experiment31e]

Do y'all like stories about a girlboss mad scientist who has autism and social anxiety and likes committing acts of hubris?

Do y'all like creepy atmospheric podcasts that sound old-timey and from an alternate timeline?

Do y’all like Frankenstein but wish it had a lot more LGBTQ+ characters and a cat?

Have we got a podcast for you!

Experiment 31E is a new(ish) podcast. Season one wrapped in April, and all twelve episodes are available to binge now.

What’s it about?

Experiment 31E is a Frankenstein-inspired, speculative fiction podcast set during an alternate version of the Victorian era that follows the recorded notes of a scientist who is performing a dangerous experiment. As she seeks to perfect her formula and find a suitable specimen for testing, unexpected threats rear their heads while her own motives lurk in the dark.

Now, you might be wondering a few things:

First—how alternate is this version of the Victorian era? Well, some things are the same, some things are different. This story takes place in an alternate timeline, and the differences in the timeline will become more prominent as the story progresses.

Second—is this sci-fi? Fantasy? Horror? It’s a bit of all of them, actually. We use the broad genre label “speculative fiction” because this story features elements from science fiction, fantasy, horror, alternate history, and a smidge of steampunk. There are strange inventions but also alchemy and magic. It is not scary or gory, but it has a sinister air to it. It explores issues of identity, ethics, and mortality, not shying away from the darker aspects of humanity. There are moments of levity, but this is a story where the main character is experimenting on corpses, so it’s not exactly a tale for children.

Third—so…is this just a retelling of Frankenstein? Nope! The bones of this story owe a lot to Mary Shelley’s novel in that it features a scientist trying to reanimate dead matter (there’s also a…let’s say secondary meaning to “Frankenstein-inspired” that you will discover later in season one). But this isn’t just Frankenstein in the Victorian era with a female protagonist. While there will be some similarities (and allusions), this is not the same story.

Who are the characters?

This is a story with a single narrator, a bit like the early days of Welcome to Night Vale. However, there are several secondary characters vital to the plot.

Victoria “Vic” Corvino Trafford, aka The Scientist: The morally gray protagonist and narrator, Vic is an American who inherited a manor belonging to her late father’s family in England. She has been living there for two years at the start of the story. She’s autistic, asexual, gender nonconforming, and most importantly, a James Clark Ross fangirl. She enjoys tinkering in her laboratory, avoiding people, and trying to resurrect the dead. Vic believes in science, not magic, but is willing to give anything a try for her experiment. She is also quite handy with a knife.

John, aka The Boy: John is a stoker from Manchester who used to work in the cotton mills but now works as Vic’s assistant. He’s the Igor to her Frankenstein, the Smithers to her Mr. Burns. He’s assisted her for the two years she has been in England, but she still calls him The Boy. He’s a bit of a yes-man, but there’s more to him than first meets the eye.

Solomon and Rahul: Partners in business and in life, Solomon and Rahul are a perfect balance to each other. Sol can get a bit too hyper-focused, while Rahul is a tad chaotic, but together they equal 1 Functional Person. They run a jewelry store in Manchester—which is actually a front for their alchemy shop in the back room. They are some of the few people Vic trusts enough to tell about her experiment.

Herman: Herman is The Worstᵀᴹ. He’s a resurrectionist, aka a body-snatcher. He digs up fresh corpses and sells them to Vic for her experiments. Vic hates him, but he’s a necessary evil for her purposes.

Vic’s Mother: Vic’s mother is dead, but her influence on her daughter’s life still resonates. Vic’s mother was a scientist herself, and she used to tell Vic fantastical stories about impossible things that inspired Vic’s inventions.

Lydia: The overseer of Vic’s estate back in America. She was once friends with Vic’s mother before working for the household. She’s highly reliable and knows all the family secrets.

Lady Carmichael: An old friend of Vic’s father. She writes letters to Vic and invites her to a ball. Vic would rather eat coal than attend.

Stove: A cat.

Who made this?

Experiment 31E is an independent podcast written, performed, and edited by Lauren Triola. This is her first time making a podcast, so admittedly there was a learning curve when it comes to voice acting and sound editing, but she’s been writing stories for as long as she can remember. Lauren is autistic and asexual, just like the protagonist, and she has a complicated relationship with gender that inspired Vic being gender nonconforming. Lauren is also a bit of a history nerd—people obsessed with the Franklin Expedition might be familiar with her series of blog posts about John Torrington. Most of the music featured in the podcast was written by Lauren’s sister, Shannon, while a few of the simpler themes were written by Lauren. Lauren also runs all the social media sites and is writing this post (hi!).

Who is this for?

Excellent question!

Obviously, fans of Frankenstein will probably enjoy this story, as will people who enjoy retellings or remixes of Frankenstein, like Mackenzi Lee’s This Monstrous Thing. If you love the character Jack from Seanan McGuire’s Wayward Children series then you will most likely love Vic as well, since she is very similar to Jack—as in I-did-not-realize-how-similar-until-it-was-too-late-Seanan-please-don’t-sue similar (basically they’re both a combination of queer/neurodivergent with mad scientist, so if that’s your very specific trope, you’ll love it).

If you participate in Tumblr’s annual book club of Dracula Daily, or listen to the podcast @re-dracula, then you’ll probably enjoy Experiment 31E too. It’s got a classical literature horror feel to it, with an eerie atmospheric sound.

Fans of AMC’s The Terror may enjoy the mix of speculative fiction and history. There are plenty of historical Easter eggs in this podcast—including some references to polar exploration and the Franklin Expedition. While this story takes place a couple years before the expedition, the writer of this podcast is quite obsessed with Franklin and Co., so expect mentions of some crew members to pop up here and there.

If you enjoy Mike Flanagan’s horror-with-feelings style of writing, like Midnight Mass or Haunting of Hill House, then you might enjoy this too. Experiment 31E isn’t straight up horror like the shows in the Flanaverse, but it’s got some philosophical musings on life and death that wouldn’t be out of place in Flanagan’s work.

All in all, this is a story for anyone who likes creepy things. It’s for anyone who likes protagonists who aren’t completely good or evil but fall somewhere in between. It’s for anyone who has ever felt different or been told that there is something wrong with them. Most importantly, it’s for anyone who wants to hear a mad scientist cackle as they defy the laws of nature and bring something unholy back from the dead.

So give it a listen!

Thanks for reading this far! We hope you give Experiment 31E a try! Check out our trailer for season one below:

[g5mlp]

Summer Holiday, a new G5 soundtrack "mini album" featuring three new songs, is being released on Friday, August 4!

The first new song, "Up", is from the upcoming My Little Pony: Tell Your Tale episode 58, "Sparkle School", and is performed in-universe by Izzy and Misty.

The other two new songs, "Mane Family" and "It All Takes Time", are from future episodes of My Little Pony: Make Your Mark. "Mane Family" is a duet between Hitch and Misty, and "It All Takes Time" features the whole main cast.

All three new songs have "canvas" video clips available on Spotify, which you can watch below. This video includes spoilers for Make Your Mark Chapter 5, which will be released on Netflix on September 18.

The album is on music streaming services including Spotify, YouTube Music and Apple Music. If it isn't August 4 in your time zone yet, you may have to wait several hours for the album to become available for you (or listen to the copy on our YouTube channel).

Track list

Up (1:49)

Iconic (feat. Sofia Wylie) (2:17)

Mane Family (2:47)

Show Me Your Pony Moves (1:40)

Fresh (2:05)

Hooves Together (2:59)

It All Takes Time (2:51)

With Each Other (1:53)

Credits

Lead vocalists: Ana Sani & Bahia Watson (1); Sofia Wylie (2); Bahia Watson & JJ Gerber (3); AJ Bridel, Ana Sani, Jenna Warren, JJ Gerber & Maitreyi Ramakrishnan (4); AJ Bridel, Ana Sani & Jenna Warren (5); AJ Bridel, Elena Juatco, Lexie Galante & Stacey Kay (6); AJ Bridel, Ana Sani, Bahia Watson, Jenna Warren, JJ Gerber & Maitreyi Ramakrishnan (7); AJ Bridel & JJ Gerber (8)

Producers: Aaron Verdonk, Andrew Martino, Jesse Colburn & Jill Godin (1, 4, 7–8); Aaron Verdonk & Jesse Colburn (2–3); Kayla Diamond (5); Aaron Verdonk, Andrew Austin, Igor Correia, Jeff Milutinovic & Jesse Colburn (6)

Composers: Andrew Martino, Jill Godin & Joseph (Jody) Colero (1); Aaron Verdonk & Jesse Colburn (2–3, 6); Andrew Martino & Jill Godin (4, 7–8); Kayla Diamond (5)

Music publisher: Allerton Publishing LLC

[meri-l]

Introducing a new column on my blog, "Fan theories about Major Grom: The Game"

Attention, spoilers, unverified information, fan theories!

Finally, we saw the plate with the names of the actors on it. On the first shooting day, there were two plates and a close-up showed only the one with only the members of the crew written on it, without the actors.

Actors who starred in "Major Grom: Plague Doctor," and who will continue to star in the movie "Major Grom: The Game:

Tikhon Zhiznevsky (Igor Grom)

Lyubov Aksenova (Yulia Pchelkina)

Alexander Seteykin (Dima Dubin)

Alexei Maklakov (Fedor Prokopenko)

Sergey Goroshko (Sergey Razumovsky) (Originally, they promised he wouldn't be in the film)

Konstantin Khabensky (Psychiatrist Rubenstein)

There will also be new actors and their roles are not yet officially known. But we do have some great fan theories:

Standup comedian Andrew Atlas. Fans decided that he will be instead of Ignat Buster because the Kievstoner who played Ignat won't be able to film in Russia.

Olga Sutulova. There is no unanimous choice here. Either one of the princesses from the 3rd volume of comics Major Grom "As in a fairy tale" or the former girlfriend of Igor Grom Sasha Filipenko. Or maybe even a completely new role, which came up specifically for this movie

Matvei Lykov. The fandom unanimously decided that this was the perfect actor for Agust van der Holt head of HOLT International

And here is a photo from the shooting of the film and you can see Matvey in a white suit

Also, the signature cup overlaps two or three other actor names. That's why there's debate about who it might be

Sorry if you wanted to refrain from spoilers, but I needed to at least tell someone about it. Thank you for your attention!

[kramlabs]

A tale of Two Sovereigns, a Lackey and a Nanny

PEPE ESCOBAR WEDNESDAY 8 MAY 24

The NATOstan lackeys will remain dazed and confused. So what; lackeys lack strategic depth, they just wallow in the shallow waters of irrelevancy.

Startling mirror images swirl around two major developments this week directly inbuilt in the Grand Narrative that shapes my latest book, Eurasia v. NATOstan, recently published in the U.S.: Xi Jinping’s visit to Paris and the inauguration of Vladimir Putin’s new term in Moscow.

Inevitably, this is a contrasting tale of Sovereigns – the comprehensive Russia-China strategic partnership – and lackeys: the NATOstan/EU vassals.

Xi, the quintessential hermetic guest, is quite sharp at reading a table – and we’re not talking about Gallic gastronomic finesse. The minute he sat at the Paris table he got the Big Picture. This was not a tete-a-tete with Le Petit Roi, Emmanuel Macron. This was a threesome because Toxic Medusa Ursula von der Leyen, more appropriately defined as Pustula von der Lugen, had inserted herself in the plot.

Nothing was lost in translation for Xi: this was graphic illustration that Le Petit Roi, the leader of a third-rate former Western colonial power, enjoys zero “strategic autonomy”. The decisions that matter come from the Kafkaesque Eurocracy of the European Commission (EC), led by his Nanny, the Medusa, and directly relayed by the Hegemon.

Le Petit Roi spent the whole of Xi’s Gallic time babbling like an infant on Putin’s “destabilizations” and trying to “engage China, which objectively enjoys sufficient levers to change Moscow’s calculus in its war in Ukraine”.

Obviously no pubescent adviser at the Elysee Palace – and there’s quite a crowd – dared to break the news to Le Petit Roi about the strength, depth and reach of the Russia-China strategic partnership.

So it was up to his Nanny to volunteer out loud the fine print on the “Monsieur Xi comes to France” adventure.

Faithfully parroting Treasure Secretary Janet Yellen in her recent, disastrous Beijing incursion, the Nanny directly threatened the superpowered hermetic guest: you are exceeding in “over-capacity”, you are over-producing; and if you don’t stop it, we will sanction you to death.

So much for European “strategic autonomy”. Moreover, it’s idle to dwell on what can only be described as suicidal stupidity.

Steadfastly defending a debacle

Now let’s switch to what really matters: the chain of events leading to Putin’s lavish fifth inauguration at the Kremlin.

We start with the chief of GRU (main intelligence department) of the General Staff of the Russian Armed Forces, Admiral Igor Kostyukov.

Kostyukov, on the record, actually re-confirmed that right on the eve of the Special Military Operation (SMO), in February 2022, the West was ready to inflict a “strategic defeat” on Russia in Donbass, just as before the Great Patriotic War (Victory Day, incidentally, is celebrated this Thursday not only in Russia but also across the post-Soviet space).

Then the ambassadors of Britain and France were called at the Russian Foreign Ministry. They spent roughly half an hour each, separately, and left without addressing the media. There were no leaks about the reasons for both visits.

Yet that was more than obvious. The Foreign Ministry handed the Brits a serious note in response to David “of Arabia” Cameron’s babbling about using British long-range missiles to attack the territory of the Russian Federation. And to the French, another serious note on Le Petit Roi’s babbling about sending French troops to Ukraine.

Immediately after this compounded NATO babbling, the Russian Federation started drills on the use of tactical nuclear weapons.

So what started as a NATO verbal escalation was counterpunched not only with stern messages but also an extra, clear, stern warning: Moscow will regard any F-16 entering Ukraine as a potential carrier of nuclear weapons – regardless of its specific design. F-16s in Ukraine will be treated as a clear and present danger.

And there’s more: Moscow will respond with symmetric measures if Washington deploys any ground-based intermediate-range nuclear missiles (INF) in Ukraine – or elsewhere. There will be a counterpunch.

All that happened within the framework of astonishing Ukrainian losses in the battlefield over the past two months or so. The only parallels are with the 1980s Iran-Iraq war and the first Gulf War. Kiev, between dead, wounded and missing, may be losing as many as 10,000 soldiers a week: the equivalent of three divisions, 9 brigades or 30 battalions.

No compulsory mobilization, whatever its reach, can counter such debacle. And the much-advertised Russian offensive has not even started yet.

There’s no way the current U.S. administration led by a cadaver in the White House, in an electoral year, is going to send troops to a war that from the beginning was scripted to be fought to the last Ukrainian. And there’s no way NATO will officially send troops to this proxy war, because they will be minced into steak tartare in a matter of hours.

Any serious military analyst knows NATO has less than zero capability to transfer significant forces and assets to Ukraine – no matter the current, grandiloquent Steadfast Defender “exercises” coupled with Macron’s mini-Napoleon rhetoric.

So it’s Ouroboros all over again, the snake biting its own sorry tail: there was never a Plan B to the proxy war. And at the current configuration in the battlefield, plus possible outcomes, we’re back to what everyone from Putin to Nebenzya at the UN have been saying: it’s over only when we say it’s over. The only thing to negotiate is the modality of surrendering.

And of course there will be no sniffin’ sweaty sweatshirt cabal in place in Kiev: Zelensky is already a “Wanted” entity in Russia, and in a few days, from a legal standpoint, his government will be totally illegitimate.

Russia aligns with the world majority

Moscow has to be fully aware that serious threats remain: what NATOstan wants is to test the strategic capability of hitting Russian military, manufacturing or energy installations deep within the Russian Federation. This could be easily interpreted as a last shot of bourbon at the counter before the 404 saloon goes down in flames.

After all, Moscow’s response will have to be devastating, as already communicated by Medvedev Unplugged: “None of them will be able to hide either on Capitol Hill, or in the Elysee Palace, or on Downing Street 10. A world catastrophe will happen.”

Putin, at the inauguration, was cool, calm and collected, unfazed by all the hysterical incandescence across the NATOstan sphere.

These are his main takeaways:

Russia and only Russia will determine its own fate.

Russia will pass through this difficult, milestone period with dignity and become even stronger, it must be self-sufficient and competitive.

The key priority for Russia is safeguarding the people, preserving its age-old values and traditions.

Russia is ready to strengthen good relations with all countries, and with the world majority.

Russia will continue to work with its partners on the formation of a multipolar world order.

Russia does not reject dialog with the West, it is ready for dialog on security and strategic stability, but only on an equal footing.

All that is supremely rational. The problem is the other side is supremely irrational.

Still, a new Russian government will be in place in a matter of days. The new Prime Minister will be appointed by the President after the Duma approves the candidacy.

The new head of the Cabinet must propose to the President and the Duma candidates for deputy prime ministers and ministers – except for the heads of the security bloc and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

The heads of the Ministry of Defense, FSB, Ministry of Internal Affairs, Ministry of Justice, Ministry of Emergency Situations and Ministry of Foreign Affairs will be appointed by the President after consultations with the Federation Council.

All ministerial candidacies will be submitted and considered before May 15.

And all that will happen before the key meeting: Putin and Xi face to face in Beijing on May 17. Everything will be in play – and on the table. Then a new era starts – outlining the path towards the BRICS+ summit next October in Kazan, and the subsequent multipolar moves.

The NATOstan lackeys will remain dazed, confused – and hysterical. So what; lackeys lack strategic depth, they just wallow in the shallow waters of irrelevancy.

[owl127]

I have an ask : People around Clarke always assumed she would present as an omega because of the way she looks. So it’s a surprise when she turns out to be an alpha, and a rather powerful one at that. Can you write something with her slowly expressing herself as more and more masculine, while omega lexa supports her through it and actually likes the changes ?

read on ao3

Lexa had a crush.

She wouldn't act on it, since she had two important factors to consider: one, her crush was her best friend, and if she confessed and they ended up in teenage drama, who would eat the second scoop of ice cream she always ordered but never finished? And two, her friend was not an alpha. Most omegas in school said she should only have crushes on alphas, and that was final. Lexa had to focus on college applications anyway. There was no time for romance.

Her beautiful, chubby-cheeked best friend crush would probably wash away as she met new people.

That last summer before college, Lexa kissed Clarke's cheek on the Griffin's rooftop and watched red tinge her friend's freckles. That was enough, Lexa thought. It was better for both of them when they parted ways.

She didn't see Clarke until next summer.

0000

"Who's that?" Lexa asked her brother as they unloaded the van at the lake parking lot. Her father insisted her first weekend home from college should be filled with as many family activities as possible, so the Woods van was overflowing with floaties, food, and fighting between Lexa's younger siblings.

"Who?" Adam, his hair in a bird's nest from Igor's pulling, looked at the lake in the direction Lexa pointed.

"Surf pedaling," Lexa explained, eyes fixed on the broad back under the sunlight.

Adan chuckled. "You must have hit your head in college. That's Clarke."

Clarke.  The name echoed in Lexa's head like a pebble disturbing calm waters.

She knew Clarke had been a late bloomer, presenting as an alpha a mere few weeks after Lexa had left for her early summer orientation. She had texted Clarke over the months, seen pictures of her dorm, friends, and... not a lot of pictures of herself.

Because, whoa. Alphahood had done things.

"Everything alright, pumpkin?" Her father asked, Igor around his neck playing with his beard. 

Lexa swallowed and nodded. She looked back at the lake and at the tight fit of a bikini that did nothing to hide defined biceps and deltoids. Bright orange shorts sat loosely on thighs that long ago Lexa had laid her head on and confessed about believing in fairy tales. She did not allow her brain to dwell on why Clarke wore shorts and not her usual bikini bottom, because that would be a point of no return. And finally, Lexa also did not overthink about the high golden bun showing an undercut or how soft the baby hairs would be under Lexa's fingers. She did not think of any of that, but when she blinked, her family was on the shore setting up their tent, and a bright, bright smile was emerging from the lake with sparkling eyes, and fuck, Lexa had a problem.

Clarke's skin was hot despite being on the lake, and Lexa felt her feet being pulled off the ground in a bear hug. Since when could Clarke lift her like that?

"Lexa! It's great to see you!" 

Lexa must have replied something with her half-functioning brain, because Clarke continued to talk about summer plans, hikes, ice cream, and girlfriends—

Lexa snapped to attention.

"She'll be here for the fourth, and I want you to meet her." 

And just like that, wet from a hug on a grainy lake shore, Lexa realized that her high school crush was back.

0000

Lexa met Clarke's girlfriend with a smudged flag on her cheek. She had skyped Anya (the entire family had), and she surrendered to Igor's face painting while being infused by her deployed, patriotic sister. Unprepared and high on sugar and corn dogs, Lexa saw Clarke approach her with a girl whose name she found really hard to remember.

It wasn't the fact that Clarke’s girlfriend was gorgeous that bothered Lexa, or that she seemed genuinely in love with Clarke. It was the similarities. Brunette. Green eyes. Omege, thin, pre-law: the girl checked all the boxes Lexa did, and in a way, that made it harder to dislike her.

While Clarke's dad and Lexa's mom worked on the fireworks—Abby and Gustus were always in charge of the barbecue—Lexa watched Clarke sneak out with her. She didn't overthink it. Lexa was not going to let that ruin her holiday.

As the fireworks painted the sky and Clarke reappeared with a hickey, Lexa thought that, maybe, it could have been her mark on Clarke’s neck instead.

0000

Four states away, their friendship survived on meme exchanges and Snapchat. Lexa got to know Detective, the black cat Clarke had adopted, and Clarke knew all about Lexa's extracurriculars, from lacrosse to debate. When a new semester approached and Lexa noted that a certain brunette had vanished from Clarke's feed, it was a natural decision to accept Clarke's invitation to spend spring break volunteering as teachers to underprivileged children. It would look great on Lexa's resume, and hanging out with a single Clarke for a week was not a bad idea.

The button-up Clarke wore for their first-day orientation meeting was making a miraculous effort to remain buttoned. As the months passed, Clarke seemed to gain muscle, and when she hugged Lexa at the airport, her voice had a lower tone that made Lexa's toes tingle. Obviously unrelated to her crush, Lexa would swear at court.

The volunteer team escaped to a happy hour for their first day, and Clarke's shirt was relieved of its weight when two buttons popped open. Lexa's eyes were trying and failing not to stare, and if the shy but intense looks she exchanged with Clarke between tequila shots were any indication, Clarke had noticed.

This could be it. They were still half a dozen states away, but Lexa could finally act on her crush. Clarke offered to walk Lexa back to her hotel room, and she low-key panicked and hid in the bathroom for 15 minutes, growing the courage to act. She should have had another shot, but well, this would have to do.

Lexa finally emerged from the bathroom to see another volunteer, an omega, with her hands on Clarke's thigh—which were jumping inside those slacks, not that Lexa had stared during half the meeting. The omega ran her hand up and down Clarke's thigh, and Lexa watched the blush from Clarke’s cheeks trail down to the skin revealed by the open buttons. Clarke looked around, and Lexa didn't know what had taken over her body, but she hid behind a pillar and ignored her vibrating phone.

Ten minutes later, Clarke left with the omega.

Aware of her fear and self-sabotage, Lexa left with the first alpha who bought her another shot of tequila.

There were no other chances during that week, and Lexa felt slightly vindicated when she saw Clarke asking the omega not to call her as they boarded the plane back to school.

It didn't matter, though. Lexa had no hopes that it could actually be her this time.

0000

500 candidates, one single spot: that was the competition Lexa went through to get that internship. She used existing and non-existing connections, aced the interviews, and now was responsible for the coffee and meetings annotation of a prestigious law firm. Unpaid, of course, and overworked, as it usually was. But it was one step closer to building the perfect law student resume.

It was in week nine of the ten-week program that she got the call. Her mom called at 11 p.m., which was unusual in itself, but Lexa's heart stopped when she heard the soft sniffing.

"Mom? What's going on?" The highlighter in her hand streaked bright pink on her page as she heard the news.

"No, no. I'm going," Lexa insisted.

"But your internship."

"I'll present my proposal virtually. They’ll understand." She had no idea if they would understand, but Lexa had no other choice. She wanted to do this. Her heart was broken, and all she could think about on her flight home were sad, sad blue eyes.

Lexa barely had time to change when she arrived, and they were almost late by the time the Woods van stopped at the crowded parking lot.

In a dark suit, Clarke was a wall. Broad shoulders were steady and supportive as Abby clung to her daughter like a lifeline, shaking, allowing Clarke’s arm to keep her upright. Abby was devastated, a shadow of the usual strong alpha, which was to be expected from anyone who had just lost a mate.

While the funeral continued under the late July sun, Clarke sweated in her suit and nodded to everyone who stopped to give them their condolences. Her jaw twitched when Lexa hugged her, and her large, warm hands trembled on Lexa's back. Lexa didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything. I'm sorry sounded pitiful, and Clarke's eyes were tired of pity.

Jake's funeral reception was at the Griffins home, and Abby disappeared in her room less than an hour later with pills her sister from Philly told her would help.

"She hasn't slept since the accident," Clarke explained, and Lexa shook her head.

"I'd be high on Xanax if I were your mom too," Lexa offered, to which Clarke's aunt scoffed and Clarke offered a small, tired smile.

Lexa's parents lingered to help clean up, and Lexa lingered because Clarke also looked like she hadn't slept in days and she wanted to do something about it. Guests left one by one, and Lexa told her parents she would Uber back home. In the quiet kitchen smelling of stale appetizers, Lexa watched Clarke fidget with her watch. It was large and leather strapped, and Lexa's heart sank a little further when she noticed it was Jake's.

"Hey." She touched Clarke's shoulder. It relaxed under the slight pressure of her fingers. "Why don't we go to your room and watch a movie or something?"

Clarke's eyes were red-rimmed from exhaustion, since Lexa hadn't seen her shed a single tear. The alpha nodded and let Lexa guide her to her own bedroom upstairs. In a way, it was like they were ten again. In every other possible way, it wasn’t.

Without a word, Clarke laid on her bed, her back to Lexa. Lexa panicked for a second, unsure if she should leave, but then Clarke looked over her shoulders and shifted to make room in the twin bed. Lexa slipped out of her heels and joined her best friend. At first, nothing happened, and the only sound in the room was from the steady, circular motion Lexa's hand painted on Clarke's back.

It took half an hour for Clarke to start sobbing, and Lexa hugged her back and clung to her while her best friend broke down in ugly grief. Clarke cried until she passed out, her shoulders finally relaxing after the worst day of her life.

Lexa took off Clarke's jacket, her shoes, and her belt. She watched her sleep until the sun peeked at the window. She sat on the bed to strap her shoes on and leave, but Clarke held her hand. Lexa’s hand felt smaller in between those calloused fingers; since when did Clarke have hands like that?

"Stay?" 

Lexa found sleepy, exhausted eyes staring at her. "Just a little longer." Clarke’s voice broke at the end, and Lexa lay back down on the bed.

"Anything you need."

"What about... what about your internship? You were so nervous about your presentation." Lexa wanted to slap Clarke for worrying about that while dehydrated from crying after her dad's funeral.

"Fuck it," Lexa breathed, hugging Clarke closer. "This is more important."

Outside, birds welcome the new day, insensitive to the grieving home.

Inside, Clarke started crying again.

0000

Clarke didn't go back to college that fall semester. She got a temp job as a personal trainer, and Adam was one of her clients. That arrangement made it very difficult for Lexa to ignore the evolution of Clarke's biceps and posteriors while it appeared on her brother's stories every week. That was not the reason why Lexa would check Adam's Instagram at all; she was simply a concerned sister, of course.

The fact that Lexa did not hook up with anyone that semester was another interesting coincidence. And the alleged fact that the thought of Clarke's body heat from their night sleeping together would make Lexa instantly horny was debatable, at best. The reason why Lexa wore makeup for her flight home for Christmas was only because she wanted to get used to being more professional—a prerequisite for any respectable lawyer—and not because Adam had posted a selfie with Clarke as they helped with decorations in Lexa's living room.

That all being clear, Lexa was not prepared to open the door to her childhood home and find Clarke in a tank top carrying two boxes of Christmas apparatus from the attic. Lexa stared until Anya tapped her chin closed, and then she was berated by her older sister for not being happier that she was back home.

"You didn't die; I'm happy!" Lexa tossed back her head and blushed when Clarke hugged her, unashamedly lifting her up.

"Looking good, Lexa!" Clarke beamed, her nose red and a slight layer of sweat pooling at her temples. Her hair was shorter but still up in a bun, showing the recently shaved undercut.

"C'mon, we need to pick up the tree." Anya threw her arm around Clarke's neck, and Lexa noted that Clarke was an inch taller than her sister. When did that happen? "And stop ogling my sister. I have a gun, and I know how to use it." Both Lexa and Clarke erupted in blushes, and Anya nodded, dead serious. "Now let's go, or dad will flip if we don't get a good one."

Having the Griffins for Christmas looked like the start of a new tradition. Abby had lost weight, and both Indra and Gustus spent half the night trying to convince her to eat more. Clarke, on the other hand, had focused her grief in the gym, and even under winter layers, Lexa could always catch a glimpse of muscle. She tried to distract herself with Anya’s infamous eggnog, but it backfired spectacularly, as Lexa had the alcohol tolerance of a hamster. By the time Igor and Adam had retired to check out Adam’s new PS5, Clarke had offered to drive her mother home. Lexa, a little tipsy and uncaring, invited herself to join the ride, and Gustus nodded from his place in the kitchen when a red-eyed Anya talked in low tones with her dad. Yikes; Lexa did not want to stay and watch the aftermath of Anya talking about war with their veteran dad. So Lexa found herself in Clarke’s sedan, a beaten-up Honda she had bought with the money from selling Jake’s car. The rest would be to help pay her tuition, she had argued, since she had plans to go back in the spring.

Abby waved them good night and went straight to her room, but she shared a glance with Clarke before going up the stairs. Lexa wondered what that could be since it made the tips of Clarke’s ears pink.

They ended up trying to climb out the window of Clarke’s room to hang out on the rooftop like they did when they were kids, but the eggnog had hit hard for Lexa to forget it was freaking December and everything was icy. She barely placed her foot outside the window before collapsing back onto Clarke’s carpet. Her fall was softened, though, and Lexa realized Clarke had cushioned her fall as the alpha chucked from beneath her.

"I told you it was a bad idea," Clarke grunted, but didn’t move from the floor.

"No, you didn’t."

"I’m saying it now!" They burst out laughing again, drunkenly shushing each other for the raucous, but there was no noise from Abby’s room. Lexa stood up and made to help Clarke from the floor, but she was heavier than Lexa remembered, and they stumbled on Clarke’s bed in another pile of laughter.

Laughing with Clarke was contagious and comfortable, and it was either Anya's eggnog or Clarke's smile, but Lexa laughed until her belly hurt. Clarke joined her, their limbs entangled, the sheets wet from their coats, and it all was hilarious for Lexa. They finally calmed down until Lexa realized she was the only one chuckling. Clarke's cheeks, red from the cold, were warm to the touch, and the alpha's lips parted; her eyes glazed over with happiness and alcohol. Lexa's hand remained there, and she thumbed her beauty mark.

"You're handsome," Lexa whispered as if it were a secret, and felt Clarke gasp. Clarke's palm overtook Lexa's in size and warmth, lying on top of Lexa's fingers. Lexa didn't feel like laughing anymore; the heat in her belly was turning and changing. Eyes on Lexa, Clarke turned her face, her mouth under Lexa's touch, and Lexa's brain tried really hard to grasp what was going on, stumbling and struggling with the senses of touch, sight, and vision. When the surviving brain cells gathered their final report, an undignified sound escaped Lexa's throat, to which Clarke raised an eyebrow; but Lexa's brain was as correct as it could be in its assignment: the warm and wet touch in Lexa's sensitive palm was indeed Clarke's tongue, and the rat's squeak of a sound was Lexa's attempt at a moan.

"This okay?" Lexa's brain deescalated from DEFCON 4 as Clarke asked. 

"What are we doing?" Lexa whispered, even though they were the only ones in the room.

"I really want to kiss you right now," Clarke admitted with a confidence Lexa didn’t remember in her shy friend. "I have wanted to kiss you for a long time."

Lexa bit her lips, moving her leg to fit snugly between Clarke’s. "Yeah?"

"Am I finally worthy of you?" 

Lexa read the shade of vulnerability in Clarke’s eyes and touched her friend’s lips. "Don’t say it like that."

"Lexa." Clarke kissed Lexa’s knuckles, and Lexa cleared her throat not to sigh. "It took me a long time to accept who I am and to grow into the woman I am today. I know you didn’t look at me like that before I presented."

Lexa wanted to deny it, but the truth was that her high school crush paled compared to the feeling she had for this mature version of alpha Clarke. Lexa’s cheeks warmed at the thought.

"Dating is not easy for me," Clarke confessed. "Omegas expect me to know everything there is to know about being an alpha, and everything feels so alien sometimes. But... not with you. Never with you. I like when you look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like this." Clarke leaned in slowly, waiting to see if Lexa would stop or pull away. She didn’t. 

The kiss tasted like eggnog and mint, like bubblegum and tea. It was soft but firm, and in high school Lexa would have blue-screened in overdrive, but law student Lexa took that high and rode it. They shuffled over the blankets, kicking off shoes and socks, jackets, and scarves, until Lexa’s nails finally, finally dug into the biceps, whose growth she had followed closely over the years. Clarke helped Lexa straddle her, and holy smokes, Lexa was grinding Clarke on her childhood bead on Christmas night, and it felt as good as coming home.

Clarke was home.

"Fuck, you’re a good kisser," Lexa blurted when they parted for air.

"Thank you. So are you," Clarke replied in the same breathless gasp, her hands warm on Lexa’s hips. Panting, they started at each other, Lexa’s long curls framing their faces and Clarke’s bun on the brink of being undone. Without a warning, they giggled together, and Lexa rolled on her side as the tension slowed to a comfortable silence.

"Why don’t we"—Clarke turned on her side, resting her weight on her elbow as her bun finally surrendered and blonde flopped down to her neck—"watch a movie tonight, kiss some more, and come back to it tomorrow when we’re both sober?"

"You don’t want to do anything with your mom a room away, isn’t it?"

"That too is a concern of mine. She also told me ‘no sex’ before she locked her bedroom, and I take her threats very seriously."

"Oh, my God," Lexa said between her palms as she hid her face. "Your mom thinks I’m a slut! Auntie Abby!"

"No." Clarke coerced Lexa’s hands away from her face and kissed a blushing cheek. "But she knows I have feelings for you."

"Oh, my God." Lexa hid on Clarke’s neck this time.

"I didn’t tell her! She asked, and I wasn’t going to lie."

A green eye peeked from between her fingers. "So you have feelings for me?" Lexa chuckled as Clarke’s blush escalated from pink to crimson. "Hey, hey, I’m joking. We can talk about it later."

Clarke’s relieved sigh almost made Lexa feel bad for teasing her. Almost.

Lexa was lulled to sleep with her nose buried in Clarke’s shoulder, a soft kiss on her forehead, and a large, warm palm resting on her hip. Her high school self would be proud.

[nothingrpgzone]

Tales in the Land of Blood Ch 1. The Voyage of the Saint Demelza

There is Something Below Deck

Dramatis Personae

Anica The Polnenza Caravan Guard

Fuora The Piskaro Sailor

Giancarlo Debitore The Clerk

Holly The Farmer

Igore Chromsfelt The Siberskian Armorer

Lenora The Creedhall Student

Len The Farmer

Licorice Roc The Blind Creedhall Student

Nicholas Cantor The Farmer

Oleksandr The Hemlock Lumberjack

Richard Johnson The Farmer

Rorschach O’Gannery The Big Game Hunter

Sagittarius The Siberskian Serf

Through-perseverance-the-gods-shall-be-restored The Church of Saintly Blood Flagellant aka Percival

Yulia The Herder

Boarding the ferry from Veil to Piskaro an assorted group boards the Saint Demelza, a steam powered ferry. It is a standard affair, the passengers board the top of the ship as cargo gets loaded below the deck. Fuora the Sailor makes sure that all the tickets are accounted for and familiarizes the passengers with the layout of the ship. The passengers are told of the two lifeboats, when the food for their day-long journey will be served, and where the rooms are.

The passengers enjoy the day at sea, it’s mid autumn and the while we may have been on the tail end of the good weather before the winter storms began it was still good weather. It was a crisp and cool day, they spent it muttering amongst themselves, Richard Johnson attempting comedy based on his chicken he had brought with him, a few milling about, eating, a few reading in the library below deck.

They head off to bed, expecting to be roused just before sunrise as they arrive in the bustling port of Piskaro.

There is a lurch and a sound of thunder, the passengers are jolted awake. A storm has consumed the ship. With no hope of sleep they begin to explore with the ship made alien by storms. A life boat is missing, and there is no sign of the captain above deck. Rorschach yells that the captain is missing, rousing Fuora from her sleep, in a daze she stumbles towards the top deck. The passengers accost her about the missing life boat and she assures them that it could have only dropped intentionally. She only then just rouses from her sleep to realize the danger of a ship with no one piloting, and assumes control of the ship as soon as she can.

Below deck in the library people begin to realize something is afoot. There is a book written in a script no one recognizes, sitting in the middle of the table. And the bookshelf doesn’t have any missing books in it. Percival claims it is heretical and starts heading to the top deck in hopes of casting it out to sea, but Oleksandr grabs the books before he can fully do that, thinking it might be of some use. 

A few still below deck begin to explore the lowest deck. All of the doors of the crew’s sleeping quarters are open. And a closer inspection reveals the doorknobs for every room except for Fuora has been crushed. Braving deeper and deeper in each room seems to be in a state of disheveledness, until they get to the fourth room.

It’s like a spider web, the viscera and intestines draped across the cramped living space. Holly lets out a scream as she sees it.

There is a crash of glass breaking from the front of the ship where Fuora is.

The passengers all run down to where the scream comes from, Lenora helps Holly look through the remains and realizes one thing clear, these bones were crushed as if bitten by a large animal. 

The rush towards the pilots house and see it, glass shattered inwards and a train of blood leading from where Fuora once stood, following it leads towards the edge of the ship, where it smears downwards into the darkened sea.

Rorschach ponders in his time big game hunting in hopes of knowing some kind of sea beast that could have done this but as he does the sea riots underneath them, turning the boat to a dramatic degree, thankfully no one is harmed but as they all manage to right themselves once more they concoct a plan.

Len, Anica, Nicholas, and Igore stand guard on the top deck in case whatever killed Fuora comes back from the terrible sea. The rest of the group is to investigate the below deck, in particular the cargo bay.

As they make their way towards the cargo bay they are immediately greeted with three bodies hanging from the ceiling on hooks, their throats bitten out. Lenora vomits and Holly screams in terror. The others begin to investigate the cargo and realize one of the boxes has been broken from the outside in. There is hay and a small amount of blood inside the box, massive claw marks on the inside of box.

Suddenly Nicholas hears something, the sound of claws on metal. He alerts the others and readies his pitchfork hoping to kill the thing. As he looks down he sees the face of a human woman with pitch black eyes.

He misses as he Anica rushes forth and readies her musket. She has just been able to keep the match cord dry and unleashes a shot directly at the face. The head blasts off, the gun did what it needed to do.

Before she even has time to calm down one hand reaches out from the darkness and grabs the falling head, crudely reattaching the gory skull to the neck. Panicking, she tries to buttstroke the beast but it’s too quick. In a single bite it has removed her throat.

Len rushes forth and tries to beat it into submission but it’s no hope, with it’s lightning speed it claws at him, the claw catches the stern and rips it clean out of him.

Lightning flashes and for a brief second the stormy night is lit a sickly green and they can see it, the shape of a nude woman with terrible claws, covered in owl fur. Upon its head is a human face warped by gunshot, and a second set of jaws where the neck should be.

Those below hear the commotion and begin to rush upwards, maybe there is still hope.

[thefoolishone666]

Smiling Critters X Persona; The first Velvet Room visit

Dogday takes deep breaths as his eyes slowly opened from his sleep. He blinks in surprise as he found himself in a new location that wasn't the plane...was he dead? He looked around very blue room to see shelves on shelves of books on them all, sorted very neatly away, almost never to be touched. "Such a strange afterlife if I was," was all he could think to himself.

The light above him illuminated the room as he looked around in a confused shock as he slowly realized that he was most likely stuck here. He took a step to look around when he heard a noise. His nerves and senses were on high alert when he heard it, wondering what it was. As he took another step, and in a different location, he heard the noise again. He took a deep breath as he just walked, hearing the noise come from seemingly everywhere. He had to find someone here, he NEEDED to.

The noise was so deafening he covered his ears as he walked to muffle it best he could, it feeling like white noise as a result. Then, in front of him, a book pushed out from the shelf against the wall and seemingly hung out in midair. Dogday was now more convinced that he was no longer alive as he saw it hang there, as if waiting for something.

A second goes by as he stares at it...two seconds, three, four. Before he knew what happened, the book zooms part him, as if going on an errand in a hurry. He barely dodged it as more pop out their shelves and fly past him like a storm of words and paper, many nearly missing him and getting too close for comfort.

He ducked to protect himself the best he could from the hurricane put upon him. Fear entered his heart like none before, scared of what was going on. That was when one book caught his eye. It was blue like the area, but the deep sea blue had a glow to it that he couldn't explain. He watches it stop it mid air as it was caught by a doll sitting on a stack of book, barely bothered by the weather of books as she set it down in front of her as next to her a human steps out from behind the stack. As he does, the assault from the books dies down.

Dogday slowly rose up as the books created a backdrop for the man as he turns to the dog. His face wore a wide grin, only matched by the length of his nose and the craziness of the look in his eyes. His hair didn't grow from the top of his head, only on the sides had his white hair. "It seems a new guest has entered an interesting fate. But first, I best not be rude." Butterflies slowly appear and slowly come together as they make a desk and chair for the man to sit at. "Esteemed guest, welcome to the Velvet Room. I am Igor, and I will be your guide through this tale set before you."

Dogday day's words catch in his throat before he forces them out. "Why am I here? How did I get here, I was-" The man stuck out a hand to silently ask for him to calm down. "You mustn't worry. Your body is still asleep in reality. This is a place that resides between dream and reality, mind and matter. It will be a pivil point of your journey in the following year." Dogday mulls the information over in his head. Even if this was a dream, it was a lot to take in.

Igor looks over to the doll on his side with Dogday following his gaze, finally taking in the dolls features. Her dress was a deep blue like the book in her hand, her hair a white platinum as it was tied in pigtails. Her eyes were closed on her painted to look blushing face as if dreaming herself. "This is my assistant Poppy, who will also assist you in this journey." "What journey!? Why am I a part of it?" The canine's voice screamed out as the smiling man just calmly stared at him as Poppy remained unresponsive, it seemed.

"A call to adventure, the first step on a new chapter for you." Igor spoke, Dogday feeling like his question was brushed aside. "So many twist and turns are on the horizon. What will your story bequeath onto you? Care to have a peak?"

Poppy opens the book as several cards come flying out and surround Igor in a circle as he beckons Dogday closer. He takes a step, hesitanting for a moment, before getting closer, more Butterflies appearing to make him his own seat to sit down in. "Do you believe in fortune telling? Such an interesting act, to peer into one's future to prepare for what is about to come. Every reading is different, despite the cards being the same every time." He makes a gesture as the cards get swept up into a deck before several get put down in front of Dogday with what feels like magic.

One of the cards slowly flipped over to reveal a man with a bundle holding a flower and with a dog following him. "The Fool, in the upright position, represents beginnings and innocence." Another card flips over to show someone wearing a hooded cloak while holding a lantern, but the card was placed in the opposite way to The Fool. "The Reversed Hermit. Isolation and loneliness." Igor explains as if this knowledge is second nature to him at this point. Dogday grips his arm hard. He knew for a fact how they related to him right now. "Fear not." The man said with a small laugh. "In this world, such weaknesses can disappear and become your biggest strength. All you have to do is write your fate forward, protect those you meet, and discover the truth beyond the veil." One more card flips over as Dogday saw a skull. A shiver goes down his spine as Igor spoke. "There is never an ending, just a new beginning. New connections, new dangers...and a new purpose to pursue... we will meet again in the foreseeable future. Until then, farewell."

Dogday's consciousness fades as he says those words, and slumber consumed him once more. Once more into the darkness, once more alone, and once more with more questions that his mind couldn't even ask. Then suddenly, with a thud, he was wake.

He nearly screamed aloud as his forehead hit the window of the plane. He bit his tongue as he rubbed the area he hit while his eyes looked out of the window. He saw the town he was going to be in, along with the college he was going to be in for a year, the sea surrounding it as well. He sat back as he sighed to himself, remembering the dream he had. This whole thing is getting to him it seems. Regardless, this thing was nothing he asked for, so he just prayed it would be done faster than it hoped, unaware of what the following year would bring to his soul.

-----------------------

And with that, my first, I guess, Simi big, writing project on here is done. Kinda sucks that I wasn't the first to think of the idea, but eh. It is what it is. I am still going to try to do it my way so if anyone likes it, thanks, I really enjoyed writing this, and while it may not be the best writing block, I still hope you liked it. I hope you all have a nice day and...yeah. If you want to ask anything, go ahead and I will more then likely answer.

OK, bye.

[rallamajoop]

Genres of horror, and some rampant speculations about Resident Evil 9

At time of writing, all we really know about Resident Evil 9 is there’s inevitably going to be one, because RE8 made bank. There are some supposed ‘leaks’ about their plans, but not much to suggest they’re genuine. Naturally, there’s no end of speculation online: will we be moving on from the Winters family? Will we see a returning protagonist like Jill Valentine? Will we be moving back to third-person viewpoint? Will we be continuing the trend of hiding the roman numerals somewhere in the title? Etc.

All well and good, but what’s got me wondering is whether we’ll be continuing the trend set by those last two titles, and jump into a whole new genre of horror for RE9.

See, as everyone already knows, Resident Evil 7 is basically one big love letter to the slasher horror genre. Using Cabin in the Woods conventions, we can narrow that right down to the classic Zombie Redneck Torture Family genre – not that the game lacks for other influences and references. You’ve got some found footage/analogue horror in the old video tapes, those creepy phone calls coming-from-inside-the-house, and a whole lotta Saw-style murder-escape-room shenanigans with Lucas. You’ve got some demonic possession, a creepy little girl, the list goes on – heck, I’m sure someone more familiar with slashers could list influences all day.

But rather than continue in the same vein for RE8, instead we take a big leap sideways over into gothic horror – and here I am qualified to tell you all about the wildlife. You’ve got your isolated Romanian village with creepy castle, your vampires, your werewolves, and a huge extra helping of Frankenstein. Moreau alone is like a one-man monster mash: Igor and Frankenstein’s monster smushed into one, with a bit of Monster from the Black Lagoon for flavour, named in honour of The Island of Doctor Moreau, and even a bit of The Hunchback of Notre Dame too.

The Dimitrescu family is dense with the Dracula references: the writers cite the Order of Dracul (ie. Order of the Dragon) as inspiration for her mutated form, and the her daughters with their fly swarms ape Stoker’s descriptions of Dracula and his brides coalescing from mist beautifully (with just a little bit of Renfield thrown in for added squick). The whole game is saturated in twisted fairy tale vibes too (cackling old hags and all!) with a little steampunk, and then there’s that haunted house full of creepy dolls – the list goes on and on. It’s all glorious stuff.

Which only raises the inevitable question: where could we possibly go from here? What other horror genres could work for Resident Evil, if (and this is admittedly a big if) the development team wants go for something as different again?

There’s no definitive horror-genre-list of we can refer to: categories overlap and bleed into each other at the best of times, and a google search for ‘horror genres’ doesn’t produce much consensus. A lot of ‘categories’ you will see listed are territory RE has already done to death: zombies are absolutely a valid genre, but is pretty much just another day at the office for RE. Psychological horror probably isn’t the kind of thing RE could hope to base a whole game around either: there are already psychological elements all through 7-8, but it’s more of a vibe than a real setting – and at some point in any RE, you’re going to expect to shoot something, or people won’t have got their money’s worth.

Lovecraftian horror may have more potential, but tends to come with more lore than will necessarily gel with the existing RE universe, and most other space or cosmic horror possibilities would run into similar problems. I mean, you certainly could tell us that the mould dates back to the Great Old Ones or that the progenitor virus actually came to earth on a meteor, but I’m not sure that’s the kind of ‘twist’ the series needs. Just because we want new territory doesn’t mean we’re ready to leave the planet.

That said, I do think there are places RE could go in the broader sci-fi horror genre, and that was when it hit me: imagine what Resident Evil could do with The Thing.

No aliens needed: just a small group of besieged survivors after some outbreak or lab accident, dealing with the fact that one of them (if not MORE) isn’t entirely human anymore. Whether RE frames that as an infection, a shape-shifter, a mind-controlling parasite, a chest-burster, or some horrible combination of the lot, you’ve got the perfect recipe for confusion and paranoia: A+ horror material.

Obviously, you’re going to need something for players to shoot at between big reveals, so naturally your monster can bud, or infect corpses or lab animals or whatever – all very doable. Throw in some influences from the likes of Alien or The Blob (how much scarier would the monster be if it can crawl up through your sink?) or maybe even Venom for good measure. Think of the possibilities!

Now, obviously, the inevitable twist of this kind of set-up is that You Are The Monster (or at least, you are a monster) – and this is where the possibilities of doing You Are The Monster in a first-person perspective hit me, because damn. You thought seeing Ethan’s hands go through the blender was freaky? Imagine continually catching glimpses of your own hands transforming in tense moments, and not knowing if it was a hallucination. You Are The Monster with the ambiguity of first person perspective could be intense.

Cliché as video-game-protag-with-monster-transformation can be, mostly it’s done as pure power-fantasy: rarely do we really get into the horror potential. Like the possibility of having control of your own player character wrenched away from you if the invisible-rage-meter gets too high, or of finding a body and having to wonder if the killer was you during a blackout period. If you can’t find a Resident Evil-worthy horror story in that, you’re not even trying.

I still don’t think RE needs actual aliens, or to send its next protag to explore a laboratory floating in orbit or anything, but taking some inspiration from the broader alien-horror genre could go some brilliant places.

Is that likely to be where Capcom is going with the series? Not a clue! It’s all speculation down here. And if it was really up to me, RE9 would be the Mia Winters story, covering all the backstory we never got about her involvement with The Connections, and pushing on into post-Village territory too (look, they said Ethan’s story is over, they never told us they’re done with the rest of the family!) But I doubt I’ll get that lucky.

With all that Village draws from RE4, we should probably be happy if they can just avoid another follow-up like 5 or 6, which leans so heavily into action and chasing increasingly wider audiences that everything that ever gave the franchise its own identity gets lost in the shuffle.

But while I’m speculating, we may as well go over the actual hints the game leaves us about where things might be headed next.

The big sequel hook RE8 ends on is the implication that the BSAA (the big international org responsible for preventing bio-terror outbreaks) has itself been creating bioweapons. But as hooks go, this is a little underwhelming for a few reasons.

For one, the BSAA exists in RE8 only as a sequel hook. That final scene where Chris is told the BSAA was sending bioweapons (!!!) comes virtually out of nowhere. The BSAA is mentioned in passing in one document you may well miss in the Winters’ home, and then not again until very near the end, when Chris watches a BSAA chopper crashing in the village. There were apparently plans for Chris’ section to involve a big three-way battle between his team, the lycans, and the BSAA, but in the final game, this has been cut all the way down the aforementioned cutscene, and to a single dead BSAA soldier you may not even find. Right up until that final ‘they’re making bioweapons!’ reveal, long-time fans are probably assuming Chris is still working for the BSAA himself. New fans probably haven’t caught on to who the BSAA are supposed to be at all.

Arguably, the implication that someone responsible for Ethan and Mia’s safety was working with Miranda all along is a lot stronger: someone tipped her off about Rose, and the couple weren’t moved right to Miranda’s doorstep by accident. That’s only reinforced by the game ending on Chris insisting ‘someone’s gotta pay’ (implied: for Ethan’s death). Trouble is, ‘the BSAA is working with Miranda’ really doesn’t tally with why they’d be sending choppers full of bio-engineered soldiers into the village at her moment of triumph. So is the problem that they’ve been working with her, or that they’re doing wildly unethical things while working against her? It’s all a bit incoherent.

The other reason I find it a pretty weak sequel hook is that, well, that’s pretty much how RE7 ended too ‒ only there, the company-that-may-actually-be-dodgy was a new incarnation of Umbrella, not the BSAA. The choppers that swoop in at the end are Umbrella-branded, and Chris spends a lot of his DLC being suspicious that the folks funding the clean-up aren’t trustworthy. But nothing comes of it – and RE8 drops that plot point so hard that the new-blue-Umbrella isn’t even mentioned. Maybe we’re supposed to take it they were always working with the BSAA, but it feels more like we’ve retconned Umbrella out of ever being involved in the first place. There’s even a whole ‘Incident Report’ file you can get with one of RE8’s DLCs which mostly exists to cast the BSAA’s actions post RE7 in the worst light possible.

Now, there may be some narrative sense in corrupting the BSAA, at least in that it’s much easier to tell horror stories about characters who can’t just call in a reliable, well-funded, multi-national org for backup. And ‘the BSAA is making bioweapons!’ is admittedly a more shocking reveal than ‘Umbrella is making bioweapons!’ could be. Honestly, the more shocking reveal would be that new-blue-Umbrella aren’t secretly making bioweapons, with Chris having to team up with them to take down the evil!BSAA in RE9 – though I’m less sure how far the novelty would go in practice. But ultimately, if Capcom were so quick to drop the big ‘new Umbrella!’ teaser from the end of RE7, why should we have any more faith they’re going to follow up on the ‘evil BSAA!’ teaser from RE8? It’s just not that compelling as a hook.

The Shadows of Rose DLC may or may not be any kind of clue. It tells us that Chris is still around and working with his dog-dog squad far into the future, and that people working with him are still researching the megamycete, but it seems more than likely RE9 won’t be set that many years ahead of the present day. Or maybe it wasn’t actually that far in the future at all, and Rose just ages supernaturally fast – I don’t think there’s a hard date on it, but no-one’s really expecting her to be the star of RE9, and I’d tend to agree.

For all that Chris ends RE8 promising “someone’s gotta pay!” I’d be amazed if he’s to be our next playable-protagonist either. There are plenty of other perspectives you could do that story from, even if he’s involved – and nothing about his post RE8 status quo suggests he’d work any better as a horror protag now than he did back in 5 and 6. Other old series regulars are likely to present similar problems.

There are other dangling plot threads they could always pick up on, like the question of who Lucas Baker was selling research data to in that one RE7 DLC. You could dig into the truly ancient history of the mould and those four huge statues, as hinted in that one really old document lying in the stronghold, or dig even deeper into that whole consciousness-storing mechanic. Or we could just drop all that and ignore the mould altogether.

Anything’s possible – including a bland re-tread of Village that takes no interesting risks, or an epic game-changing masterpiece that I don’t ever play because it’s even less my thing than RE7 was. And just to emphasise, none of these possible dangling plot threads are inherently incompatible with leaping into wild, new horror territory: The Thing could come busting out of one of the BSAA’s own labs, if need be. It’s all about the angle.

But if I can say one thing for the current state of the series, it’s they’ve left me incredibly curious about where they might take things next. I don’t know we’ll get something as different from RE8 as it was as RE7, but I might be just a little disappointed if we don’t.