#a sub-flavor of this that works too is this guy would be the worst guy to fall in love with..... but maybe not the worst to sleep with

[familiariscanis]

see there’s obviously a huge appeal to soukoku being exes that had this tumultuous relationship in their teenage years where like, they’re into each other but they’re also wildly antagonistic to each other at all times and somehow it kind of works out (it doesn’t).

 love disastrous teenage romances that explode and now they’re bitter exes who are still kinda into each other. incredibly good flavor of soukoku.

however. i gotta say i am also partial to them being so adamant that it is hate and only hate that they feel. they quite sincerely feel that dating the other is the most unfortunate fate anyone could ever suffer. i love the idea of dazai’s first love not being chuuya at all. dazai’s first experience with love is a big ole unrequited crush on oda. chuuya isn’t the least bit jealous of this. he thinks oda’s a poor fucking guy, to be on the receiving end of that bandaged bastard’s affection. thank god it’ll never be chuuya in that position (he remembers that particular thought several years and one italicized oh moment later and cringes so violently that he puts a crater in the floor).

dazai is jealous when chuuya is into other people, or when other people are into chuuya. however, dazai accredits this to the fact that chuuya is supposed to be his dog, and now someone is challenging that and that’s just not allowed. because chuuya is his dog. that dazai hates. but no one else can have him. (dazai always believed he was too self-aware to be in denial. he discovers in his mid-20s that that is not the case, and once again has a reluctant realization that he is not utterly detached from human fallacy or feeling after all. it’s a terrible thing to realize, and it’s so often chuuya who causes it. really, chuuya’s just the worst.)

they have like ten years of mutually and whole-heartedly saying that “this guy would be the worst guy to fall in love with” and then look around one day and realize that they’ve gone and fallen anyways against their best efforts and better judgment.

[greatbigbellies]

Hello! Another new anonymous commission! This is a continuation of THIS STORY and follows the later half of Leo’s hyperpregnancy!  Contains hyperpregnancy, tmpreg, some more weight gain and lactation, belly worship, allusions to sex, and general soft lovey dovey content. Enjoy!

“Are you sure you don’t need help carrying anything?” asked Leo, his massive belly swaying left and right as we waddled next to his husband, Marko. Leo was wearing floral swim trunks, and his more than ample chest was covered by a large, stretched tank top, but it did nothing to shield his pale, pregnant belly form the sun. Marko’s arms were full of beach towels, a heavy picnic basket, a bucket of bulk-order sunscreen, and two folding chairs for the pair. He stared at Leo’s belly, then into Leo’s eyes, before shaking his head and smiling. “I love you hon but you’re carrying enough,” he said. Leo realized his hands were all but glued to the sides of his tummy to steady his gait, and he realized that, yes, 24 babies was probably enough for one man to carry. Or is it? He thought to himself.

Leo had maintained mobility for a little longer than expected, so the two set out for one final non-stay-home-and-eat date together, at a nearby beach just an hour away. The stretch of sand was largely unpopulated, save for some squawking seagulls, so the couple had the privacy they needed to just… be. Granted, Leo had grown more accustomed to being the center of attention, and in a weird way was starting to enjoy it, but there was still something serene about being alone with his doting husband.

Marko checked his watch, and looked around the beach before setting the chairs down in the sand. “Tide’s coming in… and if my information is correct, in a couple hours, the water well flow right up across your lower tummy, and run over your feet. From here, you can experience the ocean without having to get up!” he said, unfolding one chair behind Leo, letting him take a seat. Leo’s considerably widened hips and butt filled the chair, creating audible creaks as it supported his pregnancy weight.

Marko laid out a towel on the sand before plopping the rest of the supplies on it. There was a nice breeze, carrying the cool ocean mist up to the pair without being obnoxiously strong. “You hungry babe?” asked Marko. Leo nodded eagerly, prompting his husband to pull a very stacked sandwich out of the basket. “I’ll get to work on your sunscreen while you eat that,” he said, kissing Leo on the top of his head, making the pregnant man blush.

He popped open the bucket of sunscreen while Leo tore into the sub, taking in the cacophony of flavors. Marko all but dunked his hands into the sunscreen, getting a good thick coating on both hands, before moving over and placing them on the front of Leo’s tummy. He shivered a little at the sudden application of cold lotion to his bare skin. Marko moved his hands in large, sweeping circles, applying a coating of sunscreen to Leo’s expanse of gravid skin. He leaned forward and placed a quick , loving kiss on the front, before covering that spot with more sunscreen. 

“You love doing that, don’t you?” Leo asked between bites. “What, putting sunscreen on you? I guess?” said Marko confusedly. Leo chuckled, causing his belly to jiggle slightly. “No… well… yes obviously you love doing that, but… kissing my belly. You do it all the time,” he commented. Marko, blushed, but Leo couldn’t see it past his expansive midriff. “I mean… it’s like kissing you and our kids at the same time? I just… I have a lot of love to give you guys,” he replied. Leo beamed, his husband was such a softie. “Honey you DON’T have to explain yourself I love it when you do that! I was just pointing it out,” he said. The chair creaked again as he continued his sandwich. .

Marko moved onto the left flank of Leo’s tummy, blushing more intensely. Leo smirked, “I think the babies love it too,” Marko’s heart fluttered. “Really?” he asked. Leo nodded, “kiss me and feel how much they kick!” he teased, though Marko didn’t need to be told twice. He laid a deep, tender smooch on the side of Leo’s 13 month pregnant tummy, and felt it up with his hands. A flurry of kicks and shifts from inside confirmed what Leo said. If Leo thought Marko kissed his belly a lot before, he had no idea what was to come. Marko got back to work putting on the sunscreen, but would pepper a patch of skin with kisses before running his hands over them. Leo gleefully enjoyed the worship as he continued demolishing his sub. Right as he was about halfway through it…

Creeeaaaakkkk… the bolts holding his chair together snapped under his weight, and he plopped onto the ground with a THUD. Marko looked at him, shocked, and asked “Oh my god are you okay? Are you hurt? Are the babies okay?” Leo assessed himself. The surprise was the worst part. His belly simply shifted slightly, and his marshmallowy ass softened the landing, though his brood of 24 was completely riled up inside, causing visible movement. “Yeah I’m okay! I just…” he looked at his dropped food on the ground, now covered in sand. “Aw, I was going to finish that…” he lamented. Marko raised an eyebrow, “so, you’re okay?” he asked. Leo nodded, staring at his lost meal. “Yeah, I’m just down like… half a sandwich,” he brushed his fluffy frown hair out of his face and winced, a slight ache from his landing starting to manifest. Marko sighed and smiled, “Well I packed like… four of those subs, hon. There’s plenty more,” 

Leo gasped, if he could physically have hearts for eyes, he would. “You know how to treat a guy!” he puckered his lips, prompting Marko to lean over and kiss him. He chuckled, “you might be good at tummy kisses, but THOSE are my favorite,” he said before returning to eating, now planted firmly on the ground, legs spread to make room for his gargantuan tummy. Marko simply smiled before returning to work, getting back to spreading the UV protecting lotion over his husband’s pregnant body.

Fast forward a couple of hours, and not only had Leo’s belly been thoroughly coated in sunscreen, and thoroughly filled with food, but he’d been thoroughly peppered in kisses and thoroughly complimented by his husband. It was a good day. Marko had enjoyed his half of the date too. Feeding, kissing, and otherwise pampering Leo was what he lived for, and doing it on the beach with sand under his feet and the waves splashing nearby just set the whole mood for him. He sat on the ground next to Leo, discussing life, love, and baby names, and generally having a lovely time.

“eeEEEP!” eeped Leo. “What’s wrong?” asked Marko, nearly jumping to his feet. “The cold water just touched my tummy, the tide has really rolled in,” said Leo. “I really wasn’t expecting it,” another wave washed up and lightly coated the front lower end of Leo’s tum in cold, briney seawater. “You wanna get up? We’ve been here for quite a while,” Leo nodded, “We’re out of food, I’m getting cold form the seawater, and frankly my pregnant ass could use a nap,” he said. Marko chuckled, taking Leo’s hands and using his considerable upper body strength to help him to his feet.

Leo’s belly rolled forward, shifting as he stood. His brood of two dozen riled up inside, and his hands shot to his belly. Marko knew what to do and started running his hands over the expanses of belly that Leo couldn’t reach, soothing their babies. After a moment, Marko gathered up their supplies while Leo began the considerable task of rotating his entire body 180 degrees. The two began the slow trek back to their vehicle, satisfied with the outing. It would be their last for a long, long while.

6 months later

“Don’t get your hopes up, it’s been a couple years since I’ve done this and I’m out of practice,” said Marko, looking over his selection of brushes. Leo lat in his custom hyper-pregnancy recliner, designed to support his increased weight and girth, his shirt rolled up as he pumped. “Yeah and I’ve seen what you’ve done before hon, my hopes are SKY HIGH knowing you,” Leo said with a bubbly smile. Marko chuckled, “I’ve also never had this sort of canvas before,” Leo laughed giddily, “It’s a canvas that’s required the cooperation of 38 people to make, 39 if you count me!”

Marko stood up, having to stand on his tiptoes to peer over Leo’s belly and H cup breasts. “I think you’re forgetting who put those 38 in there!” he teased. Leo blushed, switching bottles to store more milk. As he’d grown ever more pregnant, pushing past the duration of a normal pregnancy, his milk had come in in spades to feed their growing brood, so the poor pregnant man had to pump regularly, or risk leaking on his rather expensive maternity tops.

Marko grabbed a large, wide brush, and squeezed a heap of white paint onto his palette, with so much area to cover, this piece was going to need a LOT of paint if he hoped to really utilize his canvas. He dipped his brush in the paint, and began applying it to the front of Leo’s pregnant belly. Leo squirmed and giggled, his sensitive skin tickled by the wet bristles. His giggling picking up as the brush ran over his hypersensitive bellybutton, causing Marko to grin. “This is going to be a long process if you’re that ticklish,” he chuckled. He got down on his knees and continued painting the base layer down to some of the power front of Leo’s titanic tummy.

Leo contained himself, “You get pregnant and let me paint YOUR tummy and then you tell me I’m being too ticklish! That skin is sensitive!” he teased. Marko shook his head with a smirk, “Imagine me being pregnant…” he paused. Imagine… “You’d look cute with a bump,” complimented Leo. He turned off his pumps and took them off, though his breasts still leaked slightly. He set the milk aside and pulled his shirt down, covering his chest.

Marko switched paints to a light blue to start on a sky line, wanting to do a forest panorama, thinking about the prospect. “Preggo marko… I mean I’d look cute as fuck but I’d miss my figure,” Leo snorted, “But you’d have a new figure! Round, like me!” Marko considered waddling around, looking like his husband. It was only a hypothetical concept, but not an unwelcome one. He looked up to see his husband’s shirt growing damp. “Uh, honey…” Leo looked down at himself, “Aw shit!” he quickly yanked up his top and put his pumps back on, trying to contain the mess. Marko got back to painting, he had a lot of belly ahead of him…

As time pressed on, Leo’s bottles of milk continued to fill, and his belly continued to be covered in paint. Marko was an impressive artist, and his practice allowed him to work relatively fast. Still, with so much midriff to cover, it took a good few hours to do. Front and center of the tummy pictured a large, sprawling lake, framed by tall pine trees, with snowy mountains looming in the background. Mossy rocks peppered the foreground, and cute, brightly colored birds were lovingly left in trees. The whole scene was based off of a place Marko had gone to with his family, camping in washington state. The cool taiga campground had always stuck with him, and now it was brought home, plastered across his husband’s massive belly of all places.

Leo had fallen sleep, relaxed from the subtle sensations of marko’s brush along his tightly stretched belly. He’d sat still for hours for this, and just languished in becoming a work of art. It was his idea, to have his tummy painted, and while he’d snoozed through half of it, the whole thing had been a fun experiment. At least now he could say he’d been part of a body art piece! 

He woke to the sharp hiss of his husband swearing. Not loudly, but with passion. “Mmmmh, what’s wrong?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. Marko chuckled, “I was putting the finishing touches on this stump, and one of our kids kicked my brush, so now there’s a big brown blotch on it. That’s how it is when your canvas is alive I guess,” he shrugged, getting back to painting. Leo giggled to himself, “You could call it a happy little accident?” he snickered. Marko smiled and rolled his eyes sarcastically, “What? The paint blotch, or the kid who caused it?” he asked. “The blotch you goof! Only the first kid was an accident and the odds of THAT ONE kicking there are pretty slim!”

With one last stroke, he was done. He stood up and surveyed his work, the massive painting spanning the front hemisphere of Leo’s 38-full pregnant tummy. It was sprawling, and detailed, and beautiful, and he was quite pleased with it. “Man, I really did miss painting,” he said, mostly to himself. “Such a shame it’s all gonna get washed off here soon,” Leo pursed his lips in thought, “Maybe it’s an exercise in impermanence? Like… some bhuddist shit?”

Marko smiled, “Gimmie your phone, you goof. It has a better camera, and I want you to see this!” Leo smirked, and held out a small tube, produced from the table next to him. “You gotta sign your work first, silly!” Marko squinted at the tube, too short and wide to be a pen. “Is that… lipstick?” he asked. Leo nodded. “Sign it with a kiss! Like a love letter! Except that love letter is me!” Marko blushed, and sighed, and relented. “God you’re gay,” he chuckled. Leo cocked his head to the side and smiled, “For you,”

Marko blushed harder, and wordlessly navigated to the lower right corner of his masterpiece. He put on the lipstick, then got down on his hands and knees, leaned forward, and placed a deep, loving kiss on Leo’s belly, leaving a perfect smooch mark. Now it was Leo’s turn to blush. Marko got back up, and made bedroom eyes at his husband. “I have an idea of how we could kill our evening,” he said. Leo blushed harder now, “do tell?” he squeaked in anticipation. “I could kiss you until all of this lipstick wears off, then help you to the shower and wash all this paint off… then I could…” Leo beamed, “You could make me MORE pregnant!?” Marko bit his lip and ran his hand through his black undercut. “If you’d like to?” “I would LOVE to!” 

...And so they did.

5 months later

“Well, you’ve exceeded my expectations in quantity, but everyone in there is healthy as can be!” said Leo’s midwife, as she slowly ran the ultrasound wand over his expansive belly. Marko sat next to Leo, holding his hand tenderly. “I’m proud of my big man, he’s kept everyone so safe and healthy for two years at this point,” Leo squeezed his hand in response to the praise. The midwife’s eyes grew large. “You’re two years pregnant?” she asked. Leo nodded, “24 months today!” he chirped. The midwife nodded, “Explains why everyone is so big and strong...” she trailed off. “How many is ‘everyone’ by now?” Leo asked. The midwife stayed silent for a spell before answering. “I’ve been trying to figure that out… there are so many heartbeats my equipment cant differentiate between them all… my midrange estimation is… probably 50,” she finally landed. “Fifty!?” Marko and Leo exclaimed in unison. The medical professional nodded, “that’s not an exact number, but… there’s at least 48 guaranteed in there, and judging by the volume of the measurements I took, you have enough volume in your frankly amazing womb for 52, so I’d average it at 50,” she pulled back the wand and turned off her portable doppler.

Marko’s eyes sparkled at the news. How he’d managed to put fifty babies into his husband. Leo held his K cup tits in his hands, and for the first time wondered if he’d be able to feed them all. The midwife’s watch beeped and she hissed, “This is so unprofessional, but, Marko, can I leave the wiping off of ultrasound jelly to you? I have another appointment that I’m already late for!” she said. Marko nodded eagerly, “Sure thing Miss Thorne! I’ll take care of it!” Miss Thorne nodded and closed up her equipment. She walked around Leo’s belly and shook his hand. “If anything changes, you have my number. Just… please don’t call past 2 am,” she sighed. Leo gently met her handshake and smiled, “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Miss Thorne nodded again and turned to leave, “Duty calls gentlemen, take care!” she said before closing the door behind her.

Marko leaned in and kissed Leo with reinvigorated passion. “Babe, we’re gonna be the dads of 50 babies!” he placed his hand on Leo’s tummy, feeling the near rock-hard firmness of it. “And I’ll be able to walk again!” said Leo, who had been too big to pass through standard doorways for the last 9 months. Marko stepped back and surveyed Leo, really taking in his size. The oblong mass of Leo’s tummy was, at this point, the tallest part of him, and the widest by a huge margin. He’d been well and truly immobile for a while now, the weight of his womb passing 450 lbs. It wasn’t all baby and amniotic fluid either, he’d put on a fair bit of baby weight thanks to his increased appetite.

He had subtle rolls on the side of his torso, and his hips had widened substantially to make room for his brood to pass through, though they were wrapped in their own lovely layer of pudge. His butt and thighs themselves were visibly wider, and even his arms were softer to the touch. His breasts were, in all honesty, enormous in their own right, each one comparable to a pregnant belly itself, but despite this, nothing drew peoples attention, and Marko’s attraction, more than that planetary belly. 

Hard to the touch, smooth, pale, shiny, and well and truly massive, Marko had compared it in his own mind to a small car. He definitely would fit inside with room to move around, that’s for sure. Marko USED to be the taller of the two, but with Leo’s belly bloated with presumably 50 babies, maybe more, he’d overtaken Marko’s height in a rather unorthodox way. The room was as dominated by midriff as Leos’ own body, and the pair had joked that they’d have to start knocking down walls if he got any more pregnant.

Marko grabbed a nearby towel and started working to wipe off the ample ultrasound jelly left on Leo’s exposed skin. He moved slowly and methodically, enjoying the belly while he could. He knew that the time would soon come for Leo to deliver, and their place would be bustling with newborns and nannies. He was excited to be a dad soon, but he would miss this. He felt Leo’s skin tense, and heard the poor man grunt in discomfort, and realized that maybe that time would come sooner than later.

“Should I call the doctor?” Marko asked, peeking around Leo’s gravidity to see him silently nodding. Leo’s contractions had been ever so slowly manifesting, and with his body readying itself for childbirth, the two knew it’d be best to have professionals on call sooner than later. Marko gently patted the side of Leo’s tightening belly, and pulled out his phone. It seems after two years, the time had come.

Three weeks later

Leo and Marko’s household had indeed become a bustling scene. After a successful, if very long, birthing process, they had welcomed all 50 healthy children into the world, 31 girls and 19 boys. Among the sea of singletons was three sets of identical twins, a set of triplets, and even a set of identical quadruplet boys. “They’re going to be a troublesome crew when they’re older,” Marko had joked. They took turns between sleeping, feeding, changing, and playing with their kids, making sure to spend time with all of them. Thankfully Leo’s body kept milk production to its max, so everyone stayed fed, but it took a crew of almost 20 nannies around the clock to keep everyone happy.

Still, the pair sat together, Leo breastfeeding and Marko bottle feeding two at a time each, falling into a rhythm of sorts. “Hey honey?” asked Marko. “Hmm?” replied Leo, a pair of three week old girls in his arms. “I’m proud of you,” Leo smiled, looking at his husband. “You helped me through it, it was a team effort,” he said. The couple sat in companionable silence, taking time to revel in how cute their kids were. Marko chuckled, “what?” asked Leo. Marko shook his head, “It’s stupid but… I’m just curious…” he paused. “Would you ever want to do this again?”

[emotionalsupportbun-chan]

i'm talkin WIP WIP WIP thats a work in progress

cw: sub Daigo, dom Ryuji, praise kink, hand jobs, feelings

You Look Pretty with Your Mouth Hanging Open

He is sitting in the back of some no name cabaret, eyes glazed into the middle distance. A woman, unpretty enough for her name to get lost in the back of his mind, clings to his arm. She’s telling him about an expensive watch at Le Marche - something jewel toned and European. Like what decorates the wrists of half the girls in Kamurocho. Dime-a-dozen.

But he’s not hearing the plain-ish hostess beg for trinkets. Or at least not listening to her. He lets his boys do that, and splash out on expensive affirmations of counterfeit love. He didn’t need that. To be reminded that anything he got here was a pleasant imitation at best.

And you think it was different with him? You think he loved you?

No, but at least there was no pretense otherwise. 

“Hey, Aniki. We have time for another bottle, right?” This one - Hiroki? - is getting an eye full of tit and an expensive earworm.

Daigo looks down at the half empty glass of half-water whisky in his hand. The color is hatefully reminiscent. He knocks it back and leaves the glass coasterless on the cheap table. “Yeah, sure. Why not.”

-

He finds solipsism near the end of the third bottle. He is younger. He is full of piss and vinegar. He wants to take the world and crumble it between his teeth. There are no hostess clubs or expensive European watches.

But there are hands that tame him from time to time. Hands that weave his hair tight between their fingers. Hands the prise open his jaw, relieve the pressure on his world-crumbling teeth, and pull sighs and moans and Yes, sirs from his throat.

And there is a mouth with a scar in the corner that he traces with his tongue. A mouth that cracks open his skull and relieves the pressure on his world-weary mind with cock-throbbing Good boys.

Of course there have been hands and mouths since. Hands and mouths that repeat the refrain, sing the same chorus and bridge. But out of key. Octaves too high.

You’re just upset he gets your engine going hotter than any hostess could.

And?

But.

But?

The last fill station was a hundred kilometers ago. And you can’t conceive of another showing up any time soon.

He is jostled by an elbow to the side, still preoccupied with hands and mouths and cars and songs. “You good, bro?”

His glass is empty and so is bottle three. His gut is left full of liquor that feels like it’s trying to rot out the bottom. “Yeah, fine.” The response is far away, half way out the door already. Looking back to ask if they’d paid the bill yet.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. No, really. I’m great.”

Can’t even muster up a smile.

For lack of liquor, Daigo chewed ice until the check came.

-

The door is only a few dozen feet away, but he is full of feelings and fire water. Cotton head, cotton mouth, cotton heart. Only a teenage eternity faking sober to see him through. Concentrate.

What, hear that?

What?

That voice.

From a private room nearby. Bass-low, strutting around like it owns the joint. Peacocking. He’d know it anywhere.

There it is. Last stop for who knows how long.

But why is he here?

Does it matter? Think about it.

Don’t think about it. He’d never live down walking out of here with a half-mast cock.

From what? A memory? Of being on your knees while he drips cigarette-flavored spit from his pretty lips into your mouth?

He centers himself with a hard breath through the nose.

Think of it as motivation.

“Hey, you coming or what?” The others are paces ahead. He’s been loitering near the short hall to the private rooms for an embarrassingly long time.

Now or never. What’s it gonna be?

Beat.

Well?

“Yeah, uh. I just gotta, uh, piss first.” He slips into the hall before any response, knowing full well the bathrooms were upstairs.

Attaboy.

His honey voice fades in and out with laughter and exclamation. It makes Daigo’s palms sweat. His pulse quicken.

What if he tells you to go fuck yourself, huh? What then?

Maybe that would be a mercy. Maybe if he couldn’t have him forever, he shouldn’t have him at all.

What if he doesn’t even remember you?

Worse. To become insignificant to the best thing he’d ever had.

What happened to not loving him?

He didn’t. Doesn’t. It wasn’t love, it was peace. Not romance, but oblivion. Emptiness.

Freedom.

Looks like you’ve got it all figured out.

Someone had left the door to their room open. There are fewer people than Daigo expects. Three, four. And him at the center of it all. The sun, cock-sure with an ugly hostess petting his chest.

Now what? You gonna go in there and beg?

No.

He’d like that. You’d like that.

No. Something else.

Please sir, can I have some more?

Something else.

Daigo rubs his hands on his jeans and screws his face into something akin to a scowl. He doesn’t fill the doorway. “Ryuji Goda, what the fuck are you doing in Kamurocho?” His voice doesn’t fill the words either. It’s false confidence.

“Haw?” His mouth - dangerous, exciting, the second best part of him - pulls into a signature sneer. “And who the fuck is asking?”

And so the worst has come to pass.

No, maybe he’s just putting on a show for the boys. Daigo can play along.

“I am.”

“And who are you?” No hesitation. Unflustered.

The same could not be said of Daigo, who searches his face for any spark of recognition. Anything. Anything to alleviate the growing, gnawing pit eroding his chest.

It takes everything he has not to say ‘They guy who’s had your cock in his mouth more times than you can count’ or ‘The guy who used to let you blow his back out daily’.

Instead he says nothing and leaves with a muttered ‘whatever’. There is nothing productive to be had in the exchange. Nothing to gain, but so much to lose.

Poor, poor Daigo. But you were prepared for this, remember?

A likely story. A convenient lie. He isn’t sure that had even been possible.

-

He is puking in the back of some no name alley off east Taihei, drink having finally caught up to him. Red eyed and snotty, he remembers the first time he’d gagged on cock, when Ryuji’d gotten impatient and shoved it half way down his throat. He hadn’t puked then but he’d wanted to, more out of revenge than anything else. And the thought of the words that’d follow the act of returning all the cum he’d swallowed to its rightful owner.

But he hadn’t. He’d let Ryuji fuck his mouth, whispering soft affirmations.

‘Good boy, take it.’

‘You can do it.’

‘That’s it.’

Later he’d said how he’d liked the way it made Daigo’s eyeliner run. How he’d liked seeing the strings of spit and cum the stretched between Daigo’s mouth and the head of his cock after he’d finished and pulled out of his throat.

You’ll never find another one like him.

Yeah.

Take a minute, mourn the loss.

Yeah.

Unless…

Unless?

Stiff-soled shoes power down the alley behind him. They pause - there was the hesitation - before a large hand sweeps up into the hair on the back of his head to grip it just tight enough. He pulls Daigo’s head back, leaving his throat open and bare.

Just like old times.

Daigo is still in puking position - half-bent, hands braced against the grimy wall - so Ryuji towers over him. By the hair, he pulls Daigo up, other arm wrapping around his chest. Keeping him close. Holding him tight enough for Daigo to know he hadn’t really forgotten.

Exactly like old times.

“Ya always did like to play hard-to-get, Daigo-chan.” Ryuji all but whispers the words into his skin, letting the bass of his voice rumble through his chest and into Daigo’s. “I’m real sorry I had to scare ya off earlier, but ya didn’t have to wander so far.” He sets his teeth against the skin of Daigo’s neck. Just a little pressure. Just enough to thrill.

So how are we feeling about this?

“Please -” is all Daigo can manage, and just barely.

Guess you’ll have to unpack this later.

“Damn. Missed me that much, huh? Sweet boy, ya missed my cock?” A hand travels up his chest to rest encircling his throat. No squeeze yet, but the promise is there. He places a little kiss behind Daigo’s ear.

Daigo cannot respond. He is all nerve endings.

“Answer me, pretty boy. I need to know yer in there.”

“Yes.” He chokes it out.

“Good boy. Ya wanna play a game with me?”

“Yes!” Daigo’s cock jumps at the memory of their games.

Ryuji laughs low and it’s like something soft weaving between Daigo’s knees. The hand in his hair and the other hand at his throat are all that’s holding him up. “Can’t say I haven’t missed yer pretty mouth too.” He plants another kiss. Then a few more.

This man is gonna leave you comatose, sending all the blood from your dome down below.

And it’ll have been worth it.

“Ya wanna hear how our game’s gonna go?

Answer him.

The best Daigo can do is nod.

“Thought so. Ya’ve always been such a good little slut for me.”

And you always will be.

More little kisses evolve into something harder. Ryuji works gently at his neck with teeth and lips and tongue before continuing. “For now, I’m gonna make ya cum. Just to hold ya over for a little while.” The hand leaves his neck to pull his shirt up and drag fingertips up and down his belly.

It won’t take much

“Then tomorrow, somebody’s gonna come pick ya up. Not sure when, not sure where. They’re gonna be a little rough about it, but don’t worry.” Ryuji moves on to his belt and button. “I’m not gonna let anyone hurt my little cocksleeve.” The belt is gone quickly but he takes his time with the rest, hand playing over the bulge of Daigo’s cock as he spins his story.

“They’re gonna tie ya up, just how we like it. And bring ya out to see me. We’re gonna have a great time together.” Finally, Daigo is free. Once Ryuji was done teasing him, the button and zipper came in quick succession.

And now Daigo’s breath is coming in pants, making cloud-bursts of heat in the night. Ryuji grips the base of his cock with the smallest amount of pressure. “Sound good, darlin’?”

If Daigo could produce a single coherent thought, he’d have wondered what all the theatrics were for. But he’s past that. Way past that. Half way to bliss. “Yes, sir.”

Old habits die hard.

He strokes up once, just to send a thrill down Daigo’s spine. Just to make his knees quake. “Good boy.” He keeps Daigo’s head pulled to the side to continue working at the deepening bruise at the crook of his neck. Keeps his hips pressed firmly into Daigo’s ass. Keeps a steady pace on his cock and a steady stream of sweet words in his ear.

Daigo is unravelling. At some point, the hand in his hair leaves to slip two fingers into his gasp-open mouth for him to suck on. His favorite gag.

Happy now?

Euphoric.

He makes small noises as the fingers push back into his throat - less sensitive now that it had once been - as Ryuji growls into his ear. “Ready to cum for me, sweet boy?”

No. Yes. Both. He wants it more than he’s wanted anything in a long time. Or does he want to ride this for as long as he can?

He decides to let Ryuji make the choice for him, answering only in doe eyes and a pleading look.

His pace slows. “Pretty boy can’t make up his mind?”

Daigo gives him a muffled moan.

He has stopped altogether. The hand in his mouth returns to his hair to tilt his head downward. The hand on his cock returns to neutral, resting with a firmer grip around the base. “What does my lover boy think? Does this cock look like it’s ready to cum?”

Daigo is swollen red and leaking onto the trash bags below his spread-eagle legs.

“D -”

“Yes, baby?” He gives Daigo’s cock a short squeeze. “Spit it out.”

“Daddy, please.”

He laughs. “Well, since ya asked so nicely.”

It doesn’t take much more than that.

From somewhere in his coat, Ryuji produces a few pocket tissues and cleans his hands, all while keeping Daigo propped against his chest. He returns to trailing kisses up and down Daigo’s neck. “Look at ya, bein’ so good for me.” He tosses the tissue over his shoulder. “But ya’ve made such a mess. I’d make ya lick it up if I weren’t worried about the germs.”

You would too, if he demanded it.

He knows.

Haven’t you ever heard of a refractory period?

But it feels good to want again. To ache for it.

Ryuji turns Daigo around once he’s tucked him away, put his clothes back in place. He keeps his arms slung around Daigo’s hips, hands on his ass. Daigo knows there is want for tenderness in him. Typically, it went unexpressed.

Tonight, though, Ryuji presses his forehead against Daigo’s. Kisses first the tip of his nose, then one corner of his mouth, then the other.

Then back to the nose, then each eyelid, until they were laughing again like the young idiots they once were. Like they used to.

He ends things with a kiss full on the mouth, more romantic than Daigo expected. He says his goodbyes and pulls away. “I’ll see ya tomorrow, hot stuff.”

He is at the end of the alley when he stops. Almost out of ear shot. “I’m sorry, by the way. For what happened. For all that.”

It knocks the air out of Daigo’s chest.

Right.

That.

Did you think you could just go back to the way things were?

[yodawgiherd]

Show, Don't Tell pt.2

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Rejoice! Because we once again got a continuation of fanart that is literally EVERYTHING. Check it out check it out ----> https://twitter.com/AnnLuVazzel/status/1396084472450269185/photo/1 *cocks gun* this is not a request. Anyway - I promised a second part if things went down and they DID so, here you guys go. Rating - E, but did you really expect anything else? 🤨

“No, you don’t have to, I got it.”

Mikasa blinked a few times, unsure if she heard him correctly.

“… You do?”

“Yea, of course.”

Taking the ball gag back from her, Eren put it around his neck and….

Closed it, letting the red rubber dangle in the hollow of his throat.

“Mikasa, this is one of your chokers, right?”, he tapped the ball, “Why have I never seen you using it?”

“T-That’s not…”

Oh god, she could feel the sweat running down her skin. How could he be so clueless? So innocent? So…

Cute. Damn it all but he’s so cute, Mikasa wanted to bite into his neck just to leave a mark on that untarnished boy.

Unaware that he just sent his girlfriend’s mind to the gutter, Eren looked in the small mirror Mikasa kept on her nightstand, admiring the new “choker” around his neck.

“If I’m being honest, I definitely prefer those you wear normally. Even the one with spikes is better than this, I guess that the ball in front is a bit of a revolutionary design but the red clashes with black too much, and…”

“Babe.”, unable to take it anymore, Mikasa got his attention with that single word, “That is not a choker.”

“No?”, frowning at the mirror, Eren took a step back, fingering the toy, “Then… What is it?”

Carefully, she reached out to undo the buckle on Eren’s neck, retrieving the thing. At the same time, Mikasa’s mind was racing because this explanation had to be both accurate and careful if she wanted her boyfriend to give it a try – and she really, really wanted him to be open-minded enough.

Here goes nothing.

“It’s a gag.”, she said, pulling back while the mentioned toy dangled between her fingers.

“Like… a joke?”, Eren’s eyebrows furrowed, “I don’t get it.”

For understandable reasons Mikasa felt like facepalming but managed not to. She was a strong woman.

“No – a gag like a thing that prevents you from speaking.”

“Oh… “

“…. Yea.”

“Ok, this might sound weird,”, Eren scratched the back of his head, “but is it normal for girls to have these lying around?”

Fine, if that’s how he wanted to play it.

“But of course! Next to make-up and lipstick, every girl has a few gags just rolling around the place. This design? it’s all the rage lately.”

She stared at him with a challenge in her eyes, but the wide innocent look in Eren’s eyes didn’t go away. He wasn’t joking, she realized, he meant every word. Oh, Satan.

“Really?”, he squeaked, the onslaught of information about the fair gender hard to digest.

“No.”, Mikasa deadpanned, “They don’t.”

“Then… why?”

She sucked in a breath, mentally steeling herself.

“I have it because I use it as a sex toy. I like it, I like toys and stuff, you could say that I’m…”

She hated that word she hated that word she hated that word - so much.

“…. Kinky.”

“Miki I’m sorry but I never heard that in my life.”

Mikasa, who was torn between slapping him for being so ignorant and kissing him for being so cute, let out a long breath. Cinnamon roll, he was a cinnamon roll.

“It’s, how do I say it, I prefer having some assistance in bed from sex toys such as this gag.”, she held it up, “I enjoy it more than vanilla.”

Eren’s face was slowly but steadily becoming red, because talking about sex stuff was too much for his normie brain, but he held on, doing his best to decipher the cryptic info Mikasa was sending his way.

“Uhm, so you want me to use ice cream in bed?”

“What?!”

Well, not that Mikasa would be opposed to it, temperature play was great and all but where did he…

Oh.

The vanilla.

“I didn’t mean vanilla as flavor.”, she explained patiently, “Vanilla sex means normal one, without any toys and stuff.”

“Okay, okay, I get it now.”, he grimaced, “ I think at least.”

“All right…”

“One more thing – when you said that you like using toys in bed, does that mean that you have more than this,”, he pointed at the red ball, “thing?”

Babe, if you only knew.

“I do have several,”, Mikasa confessed, “but I think that it would be best if we moved at a slow pace, no need to put them all to use at once.”

He nodded and she felt a weight fall off her shoulders. If Eren saw the strap-on she was hiding in the lowest drawer he would be out of the door and gone from her life faster than a diving bird. Not that she ever used it, only admired herself wearing it in the mirror a few times, but the design was cool and they had a sale for it once so…

Maybe she would get the opportunity to bust it out one day.

Not now though, now was the time for the most basic of stuff - slow and steady wins the race to better and more fulfilling sex life. Now to the most important question.

“Eren, I want you to know that me liking this stuff doesn’t mean that you have to be into it too. I won’t pressure you into anything, nor demand that you do something that makes you uncomfortable – that’s not how this thing works.”

He was listening all right, his eyes in that mode that betrayed eating up every word.

“This lifestyle – I would like if you shared it with me, or gave it a try at least, but it has to be consensual from your side.”, she went on, “If you don’t want to I can just stash this thing and we can forget about this incident. I promise that I won’t bring it up.”

All right then, decision time. Eren had never seen anything like this in his life but couldn’t say that he was repulsed by it. This darker, kinky she said, side fit Mikasa perfectly, her visage screamed that she was special and that was in part why he found her so attractive in the first place.

No, he wasn’t disgusted by this – not excited either but he was curious. Curious and hopelessly in love with the girl, which meant that Eren was more than willing to give this thing a try. All things considered, it wasn’t like Mikasa was going to make him sign some binding contract, if it turned out that he truly cannot handle this side of her they would stop, easy as that.

“I’ll be honest, I don’t know the first thing about this, as you probably noticed.”, he began slowly, “But I am down to try it if you are willing to teach me.”

Was she willing to teach him? No. She was itching to do it – but let’s move slow for now…

“Okay, great!”, was covering about ten percent of all the excitement that was now bubbling in Mikasa’s chest, but it would do, “Let’s start with some basic – first of all, if you want me to stop at anything I will do, just say “Red”, okay?”

“Okay.”

“If you will be unable to speak, we will figure out a different way.”, she held up the gag, “Which is fitting because we will be starting with this.”

Eren was all-ears. Figuratively.

He nodded at her, and Mikasa began the first lesson.

“As I said before, ball gag serves to silence the submissive – in this case – you. It gives the dominant, me, power over the other party, and by taking away your ability to speak it also “reduces” the sub to a plaything for the dom.”

“I’ll assume that sub is short for submissive?”

“Yes Eren, I wasn’t talking about sandwiches here.”

“Just making sure.”, he murmured.

“That’s good! Ask about anything you want, curiosity is good. Any other questions?”

“Did you ever do this with someone else?”

“No? I told you, you are my first boyfriend.”

“Then, did you ever use this?”, he pointed at the gag.

“Well, sometimes I use it on myself when I… you know…”

Despite her best efforts, Eren’s eyes remained clueless.

“Masturbate.”, she said out loud, finally igniting that spark of knowledge, “Now, anything else?”

“What’s the worst thing you’ve done?”

“What do you mean?”

“I imagine that since you were working solo till now, you didn’t get many chances to try stuff out.”, wasn’t that the truth, Mikasa thought to herself as Eren continued, “So – what is the weirdest of kinkiest thing you’ve done?”

Hmmm. Oh!

“I once wore rope to school.”

“Huh?”

“Do you remember that day, like a month back, when I was all bothered and wouldn’t talk much?”

“You normally don’t talk much.”

“Fine, less than usual then.” she waved her hand, “I also didn’t want you to walk me home after classes.”

He tapped his chin a few times.

“I remember, I thought that I angered you somehow.”

“You didn’t, but I had a rope harness on me for a whole day so I needed to take it off as soon as possible.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s like – rope wrapped around your body in places that makes you feel it when you move. My boobs and inner thighs and stuff.”

He blinked a few times.

“Wow, that sounds intense.”

“It was, mostly because I pulled it too tight.”, she gave him a small smile, “I may be more experienced than you but I’m far from being a pro.”

Add that to the pile of things he was learning about his girlfriend.

“Anything else you want to know?”, she asked.

Satisfied, for now, Eren shook his head.

“Very well, in that case we will move to the practical part.”, she stepped close to him, holding the gag in front of his face,” Open your mouth…”

He did so, a bit surprised when she put the red ball between his teeth. After that came the strap that was buckled behind his head, and before Eren realized what was happening he couldn’t talk.

“Mmmmm.”, was his reaction.

“See? Useful gadget isn’t it.”

“Mmm.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Now while Eren was getting used to having a ball gag in his mouth, Mikasa had mental work to do. In her mind, she went through the list of items that were hidden in her room, picking out those that wouldn’t freak out her boyfriend too much. Whips, paddles, and canes were ruled out for now, so were the candles and ice. Ropes took too long to set up, vibrators, dildos, and magic wands were scary…

No need to complicate things.

Passing Eren who was still caught in his battle against the ball gag, Mikasa rummaged through the nightstand and pulled out two more items. A blindfold and a pair of leather cuffs connected by a fine silver chain - this would be more than enough for now.

Turning towards Eren, she gestured to the back of his head and luckily he got the message for once, reaching there and unbuckling the gag from his mouth. Showtime.

Holding the toys in a way that Eren would notice them, Mikasa posed that one simple question she needed an answer for.

“Do you trust me?”

“I-… Well…”

If there was one thing that Eren didn’t expect to happen when he woke up in the morning it would be this – standing in the middle of his girlfriend’s bedroom with Mikasa right in front of him, leather cuffs dangling from her finger and a blindfold in the other hand, that damn question on her black lips.

Did he trust her?

Of course, but this was not something he ever saw himself doing. To say that Eren was vanilla would be an understatement, he was like a snow-white sheet of paper, so pure and normal.

Maybe that was why Mikasa wanted to ruin him so much.

She saw him suck in a breath, eyes wandering over what she was holding. Unlike the gag, it was quite easy to get what these two were used for even without her explanation, that was partly the reason why she chose them. Talking about it was fun and all, but the action itself….

That was where the true fun began.

“I trust you.”, those three words left Eren’s lips and Mikasa was in heaven.

“In that case let’s do this thing.”, she took the gag back, completing her collection.

“Starting now I am your mistress and you are my slave-…”, nah that didn’t feel right, “Let’s stick with sub.”

For some reason, that made him giggle.

“Something funny?”

A snort.

“Sandwich.”

Fine, keep up with the lame jokes Eren, let’s see how much you like being punished for them.

“You will obey my orders without question, and in turn I promise not to do anything you won’t like.”, she nodded at the toys, “I will use these on you and nothing else, and we will have a safeword for me to stop if you want to – “Red” if you can speak and if not just knock on the headboard three times. Got it?”

“Yes.”

Ah, first offense.

“That sentence is missing something…”, she half-corrected him.

Eren looked at her for a moment before he got it, even deeper blush on his face.

“Yes, mistress.”, he murmured, embarrassed.

“Good boy.”

Those words flew out of Mikasa’s mouth before she caught them, but as soon as they left she didn’t want to take it back anymore. They fit.

“Now – take off your shirt.”

“Uhm, you sure? I mean….”

“Eren, what did I say about questioning my orders?”

“S-Sorry.”, a raised eyebrow from her was enough this time, “Sorry m-mistress.”

“Good. Let’s try again –“, Mikasa made her voice more confident, hoping to get that “dominant” vibe across,  “Take off your shirt.”

Lips pressed together Eren obeyed her command, pulling the simple black t-shirt over his head.

“Now your pants.”

“I-“.

“Pants. Off. Now.”

Now it was teeth that Eren had to press together to cage the words in, but he did so. This new dominant Mikasa was doing things to him, things that he didn’t know his mind was capable of but one truth was clear. He was enjoying this, that much was obvious from the way her words tingled his spine and of course the reaction that his… pride … was having – one that was immediately visible to them both when Eren slid his jeans down and kicked them away.

An erection? This fast? Now that was something Mikasa liked to see. Not only because she was horny, but mostly because it meant that Eren was also liking this little game. Very nice, let’s continue.

Dumping the rest of the toys on the bed, for now, Mikasa motioned for him to come closer. When he did, she took hold of one of his wrists and closed the cuff around it, repeating the process with Eren’s other hand after. The chain connecting them was short, giving him a tiny bit more freedom than classic handcuffs, but the leather was much gentler to the skin than the steel.

“Is this okay?”, she asked him, watching Eren tug at his hands with a strange expression.

He was cuffed, hands tied together. Yet another experience that Eren never had in his life and for good reasons only – he was a good boy, a good student and never had the pleasure of being escorted in a cop's car. Make no mistake, he was still arrested right now, but his jailer filled his head with dirty thoughts instead of worry. That was good, so good that the cuffing thing didn’t feel half bad.

It felt… good. Kind of

“Yea I’m fine. Mistress.”

Saved it.

There he was, shirtless, pantless, and handcuffed, standing at the foot of her bed and Mikasa had to hold herself back from jumping at him right here and there. Patience.

“Lay down on your back,”, she instructed him, “I’m going to put the rest of the stuff on you.”

Obeying her order while she retrieved the toys, Eren slid down on the jet-black sheets of Mikasa’s bed. It was comfortable as always but the added novelty of having his hands restricted overrode that information successfully. She leaned over him, holding the blindfold.

“Put your hands above your head and keep them there.”, she commanded him, and he obeyed with a slight clink of the chain. Seeing that her orders were fulfilled, Mikasa raised the blindfold “I’m going to use this on you now, okay?”

A nod.

“Good, raise your head a little bit…”

The black material slid over his face and Eren couldn’t see anything anymore. She waited for a moment while he adjusted to the sudden darkness, before moving onto the last thing which would be used today.

“Open your mouth.”

He did so, but the rubber didn’t appear. Instead of that Mikasa’s fingers pushed into his mouth, her nails dragging against Eren’s tongue. He could feel her rings too, the cold metal contrasting with the warm skin as she pushed the digits deeper.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.”, a heated whisper from the right, “To be able to play with you like this.”

Even deeper they went and Eren gagged slightly around the slender fingers. In response to that she scissored them, forcing his jaw wide open and at the same time her other hand moved, attacking the place where he was weakest. Palm rubbed against Eren’s raging hard-on, pressing down and giving the thing an over-the-cloth massage.

The sudden contact made him moan around her fingers, and Mikasa’s black lips split into a huge grin. Good, good, come to the dark side.

“I promise that you’ll enjoy this,” she whispered, “so don’t be afraid. Or be afraid, but just a tiny bit.”

He gurgled something around the fingers in his throat that resembled “Okay.”

As suddenly as they were in they were out, letting Eren gasp for breath and…

Be slapped from the left, a flare of pain appearing in his cheek. Before he could react the same flare happened from the right and now he was equally slapped from both sides.

“Wh-“, was all he managed before yet another thing found its way into his mouth, this time it was Mikasa’s tongue.

The kiss was more of an assault on Eren’s mouth. He didn’t control it in the slightest, had no agenda at all, simply gasped and moaned while Mikasa ravaged his mouth with her tongue and teeth. Dirty and messy was the best way to describe it, but Eren had no intention of ever complaining – why would he when her tongue gliding against his felt so good?

It got even better because Mikasa’s hand was back, this time at Eren’s throat. Slightly she squeezed the sides, restricting the flow of air, and combined with the deep kiss he was lightheaded sooner than expected. Just as he wasn’t handcuffed before, being choked was a new and exciting experience.

Eren never felt this way before while Mikasa kissed him, but the blindfold and handcuffs and chokehold on his neck made it an otherworldly experience. It was different from the simple pleasure he usually found in her lips, a way darker and deeper feeling, but he loved it the same if not more.

Just as his brain was running out of oxygen to keep functioning, Mikasa pulled back and released the restricting squeeze. A breath of fresh air was gulped down Eren’s lungs while she admired the way her lipstick was smudged all over his face now.

Let’s not dawdle on that, they still had plenty of ground to cover.

“I’m going to gag you now.”, she announced, not waiting for an answer.

Eren did have the safeword if he wanted to get out, and god knows that it was the last thing he desired at that moment.

Mikasa’s fingers were back between his kiss-swollen lips and she wrenched his mouth open, popping the red rubber ball in after. The straps were secured behind his head with a practiced hand and that was it – he was now completely at her mercy.

Now, this was a perspective Mikasa adored. She was sitting on the edge of the bed fully clothed, even her rings were on for Satan’s sake, while Eren squirmed beneath her. Hands cuffed above his head, eyes covered by a blindfold, a red ball gag between his lips.

Oh yea, it was all coming together.

Deciding that sitting on the bed was not appropriate for this position, Mikasa climbed onto Eren instead and seated herself on his lap. There, this was much better, especially considering that she could feel his hardness strain against her inner thigh. Her move was accompanied by yet another “Mmm” from her victim, a sound she liked very much.

Apart from Mikasa’s weight on him Eren had no way of tracking her, couldn’t say what would come next. She may have not tied his hands to the bed but she ordered him to keep them above his head, and her word was as strong as any chain. He couldn’t see her, he couldn’t talk to her, and hearing was also rather impaired because of the rush of blood in Eren’s ears. Truly helpless beneath her, all he could do was wait for what his mistress would grace him with. And then it came-

Nothing serious, just a simple touch, as Mikasa placed her hand on Eren’s chest, right above the heart. Still, in a state that Eren was in it was enough to make his whole body jolt.

“Easy there,”, she murmured, “I promised that I won’t hurt you.”

The slap didn’t count. Why? Because she said so.

Trailing her fingers up she patted his cheek in a small show of affection.

“You look so good like this.”, she stroked his face, “My Dark Knight, so good for me, so open and vulnerable…”

Vulnerable was a strange choice of a word, but when Eren tried to question it the gag came into play.

“Mmmmm.”, was all he could make, followed by a shaky inhale.

Mikasa wouldn’t hurt him, she said so… Would she? Ehm…

Abandoning his cheek Mikasa’s hand went exploring downward, her touch alone sending Eren’s brain into overdrive. When a human body is robbed of its senses, it tends to sharpen the remaining ones – this meant that his skin felt super sensitive right now, and the little path Mikasa was doing with her nails made him squirm and sweat beneath her. Didn’t help that her weight was pressed against his achingly hard length.

Tap-tap-tap, down her playful fingers went, doing nothing more than touching and occasionally scratching a little. Over the planes of his chest and there Mikasa found the first point of interest. Eren gasped out loudly through the gag when she tweaked his nipple, a small tremor running through his body.

“Sensitive? Good.”

Putting her other hand to work Mikasa tweaked both at the same time now, getting a heartfelt “Mmm” In return. What a load of fun, and she was regretting her choice of not using the clamps tonight. Oh well, she had other ways to play with Eren’s nipples too.

Ending the hold with a pinch on each one she leaned forward to press a kiss to the side of Eren’s neck. She should get him a choker of his own, Mikasa reasoned In her head, or even better – a collar to show who he truly belonged to. Not very realistic considering that they were only beginning this journey but hey. A girl can dream.

Exchanging lips for teeth she bit down on his flesh while her fingers once again assaulted his sensitive nubs, torturing her boy to the best of her ability. With no toys at her disposal, as she didn’t bring them in for a reason, her body was the only device she could use. Then again, from the way Eren sweated and cursed into the gag, it was working well.

Biting into the neck was a lot of fun, especially considering that Eren didn’t fight back, and Mikasa didn’t move on until he had a solid collection of black – from her lipstick – and red – from the teeth – all over the skin. Changing into her gentle mode she began kissing her way down over his chest, following the same way her fingers took, which meant that she arrived at the same destination in the end.

The nipples, tortured and abused by her cruel hands were soothed when Mikasa’s tongue gently lapped over the pain. And it felt good, great even, the content sigh leaving Eren’s throat on its own. It made her giggle, just how naïve her Dark Knight was.

The pleasure changed into pain at a moment's notice because now teeth were clamping down on his nipple, forcing Eren’s body to trash around some more. Pain was a great teacher, but Mikasa shouldn’t be overdoing this. There would be time to play around with that later, once they are more comfortable with this whole setting.

Then again…

She did abandon his nipples, after a few more bites, but couldn’t resist the plane of pale skin that made up Eren’s abdomen. That area simply begged to be marked, and Mikasa obliged, dragging her nails over it. Black fingernails created red scratches in their path, and they looked so angry that she had to bow down and soothe the area with a few kitten licks. There, all better?

Oh right, Eren couldn’t talk. What a shame.

This whole journey had a single destination in mind, and Mikasa was finally nearing it. Her pain-and-pleasure train was pulling in the end station, leaving an artistic creation of red and black in its path. What a beautiful canvas Eren’s body was, and Mikasa couldn’t wait to create some real art with wax one day. Or a whip for that matter.

Or maybe something more permanent, a tattoo, if she could convince him….

Back to the present – she reminded herself – there was still a lot to be done. The rest of Eren’s body covered, it was high time to move on to the main prize, a statement that he would very much agree with if he could. Eren did know what foreplay was and did it in the past, but being this ruined without having Mikasa even touch his member was something new. There was a lot of sweat on his skin, tears in the corners of his eyes beneath the blindfold, and the gag had the unfortunate side effect of drooling. He was truly nothing more than Mikasa’s toy right now.

It was a good existence.

Now then - Blowjob was a thing that Mikasa wasn’t very keen on at the start, because how was a girl supposed to find pleasure in sucking a cock? Eren has been the one who broke the barrier of oral sex, and him going down on her was a thing that she cherished. Admittedly he sucked at first but was a very quick learner and eager to please his goth girlfriend. Combine these two and soon Mikasa was enjoying very quality cunnilingus at a healthy rate. She liked French kissing already but having Eren’s tongue between her legs was a much, much better alternative. Not very suitable for public places though. Unless...

More on that later, because enjoying his mouth so often meant that Mikasa’s strong sense of equality bit her in the ass.

Begrudgingly curious, she tried the oral thing too and honestly it wasn’t as bad as she feared. Sure, the taste was nothing to write home about and it gave her nothing apart from a sore throat but there were other benefits to it. It made Eren fall apart at seams very easily and because of how the act was performed it fed her dominant side – she was in charge of his pleasure and could take it away at a moment’s notice.

Now it was even better.

Tied up, blind and mute he was her plaything. When Mikasa’s mouth slide over his stretched boxers, kissing the length that strained against the cloth, Eren let out a whine of a dying animal. His underwear had a wet spot at the head, and she made sure to kiss that more than once, knowing where the sensitiveness was.

“Would you like me to take you in my mouth?”

“Mmmm!”

“What was that? I can’t hear you…”

“Mmm.”, Eren trashed above her, mouth working around the gag to make another “Mhhm.”

“Oh well, since you can’t speak I guess I’ll have to decide for myself.”, changing her hold Mikasa let the tips of her fingers drum against the head, “Hmmm, what am I going to do with you…”

Eren gave up on “mmm-ing” for now, knowing that she would just make fun of him for it and fell back to his previous tactic which was praying silently and hoping that Mikasa won’t do anything too cruel. For once luck was on his side.

“I guess that I can give it a try.”, she decided, tugging his boxers out of the way and throwing them somewhere in the room. Now he was fully naked beneath her while Mikasa didn’t take a single piece of clothing off. Domination, what a magical activity.

Finally uncovered, Eren’s length was now standing at full mast, begging for attention that Mikasa didn’t know if she wanted to give. Seeing the head glisten so much just from the foreplay did make her happy though. The process of converting her vanilla Dark Knight into a “Darker” one was going along swimmingly.

Ever the tease Mikasa took her time in kissing and biting the sensitive skin of Eren’s crotch, completely ignoring the erect part in the middle. Only when the whines from above grew truly desperate did she grace it with a look.

Just to see the reaction and because she wanted to Mikasa's finger flicked the glistening part, causing a flair of pain to shoot up in Eren’s brain. Look, nipples are sensitive but it's nothing compared to this, and he gave it the appropriate reaction by the tension that appeared in his legs and the protesting noise.

Too bad, because Mikasa found it fun.

Grabbing the length and angling it to the side she sank her teeth into it instead, and that was quite something. The muffled scream amused her greatly, especially knowing that it wasn’t so bad because she didn’t put much force behind the bite. To his credit – Eren didn’t move his hands from where they lay, fisting the bedding instead. In a corner of his mind he was very much aware of the fact that should he disobey Mikasa the punishment could be severe – even worse than this small innocent bite.

Seeing that he didn’t protest or fight back, she decided that it was a time for a reward. The carrot and stick analogy worked only if there was some carrot to balance out the stick. Closing her mouth around the head she sucked on it lightly, moving her hand up and down over the rest of his length.

It was amazing, and if Eren would be pressed he would confess that it was even more amazing than usual. Mikasa, during their relationship, did the thing she always did – set her mind on becoming good at literally anything and fulfilled that. Her blowjobs evolved from okay to fucking great to oh my god I could die right now and I would go as a happy man. That was the one Eren was getting, and combined with how restrained his body was?

Perfection.

All the pain and suffering Mikasa put him through was instantly worth it and he would go through it again and again just to feel this – the way her tongue toyed with the head, how she swallowed around his length to ease the passage down into the throat.

It was a test of Mikasa too because she really wanted to push her finger up Eren’s ventilation shaft – if you catch her meaning. But no, jamming your digit into your partner’s ass is a dick move if done without consent, plus it was something they had to work towards first. One day she would claim that place too, but not today. Eren was already giving her so much, there was no need to push his boundaries.

To prevent herself from doing something she would regret Mikasa occupied her hand differently, by sliding it into her underwear. She was wet, understandably so, and her fingers slid nicely along her opening. As her mouth slid down his length so did her digits found their way inside herself.

Dividing her attention between the blowjob and her own pleasure, Mikasa worked them both up to a nicely excited state but not too much – she didn’t want either of them to finish right now. With a few more swallows around him she let Eren in deep, the tip bumping the back of her throat and forcing a gag reflex. Not one to give up she fought against it, managing to deepthroat him in a few tries.

So low she went that Mikasa’s nose brushed over the pubic hair in the region, giving him as much space as she physically could. The pleasured groaning from above was worth it, and tilting her head she could see the trail of drool running down Eren’s chin, proof of just how much control he was losing over his body. She liked that, and it made the place between her legs tingle. Okay, that should be good enough. With a pop Mikasa pulled the fingers from her wetness, intent on finally getting on with the show.

But not before playing with Eren’s balls for a bit.

Forcing herself to stop after a while, Mikasa pulled back and straightened her back, not minding the spit that was now smeared all over him. Fishing a condom from her nightstand and reminding herself for like a hundredth time that she has to look into other forms of anti-conception because she wanted Eren to do her raw, Mikasa tore the packet open with the teeth. The implant thing looked good as a long-term solution, or maybe some pills so she could…

Another “mmm” from Eren reminded her that she should focus on the task at hand.

“Relax babe,”, she praised him a little, “I got you.”

With a movement that she learned from practicing on bananas, Mikasa rolled the condom over his length in one swift movement. She could do that with her mouth too, but since Eren was blindfolded there was no reason to use that now – no one to impress.

The next step was to prepare herself, so the goth pushed the – at this point quite soaked – panties down her legs, kicking them away. Unlike Eren she was still fully clothed, and that gave her a feeling of power Mikasa enjoyed. No other piece needed to be removed, because she was wearing a skirt and her fishnet stockings ended at the upper thighs, held in place by garters, meaning that the important part of her body was uncovered.

Or maybe the skirt could go too, it would only get in the way.

Unzipping the short red-and-black piece and throwing it away she moved herself up on the knees, positioning her opening above the latex-covered head. To tease a little she dragged it against her slit but didn’t let Eren in yet, rubbing it against her clit instead. It felt surprisingly good.

“Mmph.”, from above, a crinkle of the chain as Eren’s hands moved involuntarily.

“Shhh, patience.”

A few more slides had Eren truly groaning into the ball gag, drool leaking from the corner of his lips even more. Okay, enough is enough, it would be a shame for him to tap out now.

“Time for your reward,”, she purred,  “since you behaved so well.”

Grabbing the length and angling it correctly Mikasa sat down, moaning slightly when the tip penetrated her outer lips. She was wet and the condom was lubed, so it went in fairly nicely yet Mikasa still went slow, loving the feeling of total control. Down and up she slid, impaling herself inch by delicious inch, feeling the stretch of her sex as she accommodated the length.

Beneath her, Eren was having the time of his life. Blowjob into sex was an incredible treat, and he was slowly realizing that being a submissive can honestly be pretty damn great. Sure, he was in Mikasa’s power but she was also focused on his needs only. Not that he didn’t enjoy going down on her, because she had a unique taste that he honestly liked, but this was an interesting change of pace. And, if he was being honest with himself, the pain did tingle a part of his brain that Eren didn’t know he had.

Ever since they broke the “intimate” barrier and started having sex, Mikasa enjoyed the cowgirl position. Riding Eren gave her the control she enjoyed, same as with the blowjob, and unlike that activity this gave her pleasure as well. He was far from complaining about it too, as Mikasa on top was an amazing experience – not only because of the feeling but the sight too. Her sitting on top of his hips, those amazing mouth-watering abdominals jerking back and forth or up and down, pleasuring both him and herself by their connection. He loved when she touched herself while being on top, rubbing her clit in rapid tiny circles, did his best to assist her too. He loved that uncontrollable spasms of her muscles once Mikasa got close, leaning back to grab onto his thighs as she rode him to their completion. He loved it when she tilted her face up, hair fanning behind her head like a midnight curtain, moaning out loud.

Yup, amazing.

The blindfold unluckily robbed Eren of such a sight right now, but the loss of senses meant that everything he felt now was that more intense. Which was nothing short of amazing, considering that the most sensitive part of his body was squeezed in a vice-like grip of Mikasa’s sex, parting wet and hot walls as she kept sliding down and down.

And then she was fully seated on his hips, taking a moment to catch her breath. The stretch was there, and despite being delightful Mikasa had to move a bit to make her body truly appreciate it. For now, she was only feeling full, too full maybe as he was quite well endowed. So, after a small breather, Mikasa began sliding back and forth, stretching herself.

The sliding changed into circles, her hips knowing what to do automatically at this point. Small, then bigger ones, she circled until the unpleasantness trickled away. Stretched out and ready Mikasa moved on to the next part of her plan.

Up and high she went, almost too high as Eren’s length was taken away from its warm happy place, an act that he didn’t appreciate. With a needy “mmm” from his gagged mouth, hips moved in chase of hers, trying to place himself back into that amazing muscled sheath. Normally this would be okay, as Mikasa appreciated when he tried helping her riding him, but tonight was not a normal night.

“Down.”, she growled, her hand pushing at Eren’s abdomen with that unnatural strength her lean body possessed, “No moving.”

Forced back into the mattress, Eren whined in protest but obeyed. To remind him of her dominance, Mikasa leaned forward until her face was right in front of his. Taking a hold of Eren’s chin she forced his head to stay still – gazing into the place where his emerald eyes were, hidden beneath the blindfold.

“I said,”, her hot breath washed over Eren’s face when she spoke, “Stay still.”

There was still a little rebellion in the creak on his forehead, and Mikasa wanted an obedient sub tonight.

“If you disobey me again I will stop completely, get off of you, pull out my vibrator and then all you can do is listen to me moan while I make myself cum.”, she threatened him, “Understood?”

Eren’s nostrils flared when he breathed, his fucked-out brain filling with the dread this course of action would cause. Being kept on the edge was one thing but edging without a happy ending was not an experience Eren would like. A defeated “Mmm.”, left his gagged mouth, indicating his full surrender.

Like the kind mistress she was, Mikasa patted his cheek again.

“Good boy.”

And then she was leaning backward – ready to take her cowgirl to the next level. Hands anchored on Eren’s thighs, feet found purchase on her black bedding and slowly yet surely Mikasa was striking a tempo again. Slowly was the right word because she started very slow, testing if Eren would truly obey her. Once more she went up, unsheathing him from herself almost completely, and waited at the top. To her pleasant surprise there was no reaction apart from the little whine. It would appear that Eren had been truly broken.

Very well then.

With no need to test him anymore and more than ready to go at it Mikasa began riding him in the earnest. Up and down, up and down, up and down. The bed creaked beneath them, the slaps of her ass into his hips loud in the room. The gag that until now was only robbing Eren of the ability to speak was useful for once because he could sink his teeth into it. Close, he was very close but finishing before Mikasa would be disrespectful to all the work she did, and he clenched his muscles to hold himself back.

Realizing how on edge Eren was, Mikasa slid one hand down to rub at her clit, the wet sounds joining those already produced by his length disappearing into her. And the coil tightened and tightened and tightened, and it was doing so faster than usual because anytime Mikasa opened her eyes she saw this-

Eren beneath her, hands above his head in complete surrender, red lips clenched around the gag and eyes behind a blindfold. Wrists – cuffed together too. The proof of her conquest was everywhere – the scratches on his body, the trail of black lipstick everywhere. The bites were there too, littered all over the skin, and it all culminated into one thing and one thing only.

Finally, they were doing it, moving past the vanilla stage into something Mikasa enjoyed more, and it did wonders to her libido. At the threshold for now but Eren was one foot over, being pulled in by his enchanting girlfriend. Their exploration began here, but where did it end? Well….

The possibilities combined with the pleasure Mikasa was receiving both from her hand and the twitching length inside her and finally keeled her over. The coil snapped and Mikasa gasped loudly, her body going into that strange mode where she had no control of it yet it kept moving. Unable to bounce anymore it resorted back to sliding and it only made the climax that much better.

Eren could hear it because she was loud enough to overcome the rushing blood, and he could most definitely feel it because her sheath collapsed all around him, the walls caving in and squeezing him almost painfully. There were limits to what his body could do and resisting the incredible massage Mikasa’s sex could produce once it was stuck in its climax were far above them.

With yet another long and drawn-out moan Eren came too, emptying himself in the rubber with several jerks of the hips. And then they were still, with Mikasa’s body collapsed on top of his, doing little more than breathing…

….

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that she regained enough control to push herself up and roll away from his body. Mikasa disposed of the condom too before pulling the blindfold from Eren’s eyes. The first thing she noticed were the small tears in the corners of his eyes, but the fear that she’s overdone her first lesson disappeared the moment the gag was pulled out because his mouth formed a huge, immensely satisfied smile.

“So?”, she asked, still nervous about his answer, “Did you like it?”

The nervousness came from several sources- first – this was the first time Mikasa ever dommed anyone other than herself, second – she wanted this to work because she enjoyed it so much. But any feeling of dread was useless because Eren’s answer blew it out of the water.

“Did I like it? I loved it!”

“You did?”

“Yea! That was amazing.”

“Well… good.”

“No, good doesn’t cut it honestly.”, knowing no other way to say thanks, Eren surprised Mikasa with a kiss, one that she happily returned.

“Thank you.”, he whispered against her lips, covered by smudged black lipstick, “I love you even more now that you showed me this.”

“Does that mean that we are doing more in the future?”

The grin was everything Mikasa hoped for.

“You bet.”

But now he was tired, and so was she, and both of them needed a shower. While they both shared sweat and other things, Eren’s body was also covered by black smudges, a reminder of the route Mikasa took to reach that place between his legs.

And honestly? She should finally undress. Oh, and take the cuffs away from Eren’s wrists, that should be done too.

“Shower?”, she asked, getting a quick nod in return.

“After that, can you show me some other toys you have?”

“Damn, this eager?”

“I don’t want to use them! I mean, not yet, but I would like to see what else you have stashed.”

You know what? A small fetish-exploring tour of Mikasa’s collection was a better plan for the night than watching a movie. Yes, even if it was Twilight.

“Sure.”, she agreed, getting up from the bed and pulling Eren up too.

Hand-in-hand they headed towards the bathroom with Mikasa leaving a small trail of clothing behind her. They could always pick them up later, and Levi wasn’t here to chew her out for it.

Luckily.

[sm-entertain-me]

Primadonna (M)

Contains: Wong Yukhei/Lucas x (f) reader, adult language, explicit depictions of sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), throatfucking, dom/sub themes, degradation, unprotected sex, anal sex, rough sex, hate sex, hair pulling, marking/biting kink, creampie... pretty much, Lucas is a kinky little shit.

Synopsis: Lucas was sick and tired of how you acted in a social setting. You were always so bitter and resentful to those who weren't in your annoyingly high social level, but he's determined to humble you... one way or another.

A/N: Hello lovelies! I am back from a much needed break. I recently turned twenty, started my junior year in college for accounting and business management, and earned a raise from work. And now I’m back with a vengeance. I apologize to all of those who made requests while I was away and I will try my best to fulfill those in my freetime, which is pretty limited now that classes have started back up. But that’s why I made this super long, smut filled fic about Lucas to make up for my absence. Hope you enjoy and thank you for your patience!

Oh how he hated the way your lips would turn up into a sly smile any time you saw someone of the lower social level go through any kind of turmoil, showing how much you liked to watch the less fortunate suffer. He hated the way you threw your head back whenever anybody who wasn’t considered “hot” tried to utter just one syllable in your general direction, letting them know you were too important to be seen with the likes of those who tried get by with the little popularity they had. Lucas really hated you.

But even though he hated you with almost every fiber of his being, he couldn’t help but love the way you would purposely bend over whenever you wore those short skirts, exposing the delicate lace of your very sultry undergarments. Of course, you would draw out the amount of time your undergarments were on display, purposely pushing your ass out so that your current flavor of the week could get his money’s worth being used purely for eye candy. The thoughts that ran through his head was anything but pure, but Lucas surely isn’t someone to be considered pure.

You on the other hand, tended to appreciate seeing Lucas’ dark eyes mold to the shape of your legs, leading his eyes upward to the swell of your ass before he licked his lips subconsciously. You didn’t know what you liked more about Lucas: his luscious lips that shined sinfully under the blinding lights of the hall, his bad boy persona that had all the girls dropping to their knees whenever he donned a sleeveless shirt with his trademarked leather jacket, or maybe it was his deep voice that caused a small but very significant patch of wetness to form on your panties every time he spoke. Either way, you liked what you saw despite the fact your social circles would never in a million years cross. He was this tall bad boy that hung out with all the skaters and potheads whereas you were the beautiful, preppy maneater who only talked to those who boosted your social status. Pure opposites.

So when you two found each other at a frat party, you didn’t exactly know what to do when you found yourself face to face with the one person who intimidated you to no end. Lucas was wearing that stupid leather jacket with a very pristine looking “V” on the back, showing his alliance to WayV, the university’s most prolific group of boys that had every father locking their doors and rushing their daughters away from view. You were wearing a fashionable off the shoulder crop top to show off your waist, coupled with some black ripped shorts, and a simple pair of Converse. Not usually something you wore out in public, but Lucas certainly wasn’t complaining as he shamelessly checked out your figure, him feeling a slight bulging sensation within his pants. Perhaps he could play along.

“I can’t believe that the most popular and bitchiest girl on campus can be bothered to stand in front of someone like me for more than fifteen seconds, I must be special,” Lucas commented sarcastically as a sinful smirk lined his face, only to disappear from view whenever he took a sip from the mystery liquid in his solo cup. “Is that right princess? Or do you think it’s a huge mistake mingling with someone who isn’t within your obnoxiously high social status?”

After Lucas’ statement, you began to realize why your social circles are not supposed to mix, clearly offended by how crass he was being to someone as important as you. “First of all,” You started, placing your hands on your hips as you stepped forward to show you were neither impressed nor afraid of him. “I’m not this fucking primadonna everyone else has me out to be, so stop acting like I treat every person I meet like scum. And second, you’re not all that high and mighty either pal, so do us all a favor and stop playing into this super sexy bad boy role that you’re so invested in… And don’t call me princess!”

Lucas looked rather bored of you by the way he crossed his arms across his chest and looked down at you with an overwhelming amount of apathy, even taking it so far as to yawn when you spoke. Yet still, a small smirk rested on his face from earlier as he leaned his torso down so his eyes were level with yours, adding to the patronizing atmosphere that surrounded him. “Oh?” Lucas asked as his eyebrows rose, acting like your outburst was significant to him. “You’re not? Huh, interesting. Never thought you would be such a bad liar. And if you don’t want me calling you princess… Should I call you babygirl instead?”

The way his pet name rolled off his tongue sounded like it belonged there, the simple name causing you to feel uneasy. Uneasy meaning that there was definitely a wet patch starting to form on the delicate lace of your thong, your walls clenching around nothing instead of clenching around something of Lucas’. Even though the sight of Lucas made your blood boil because of how cocky he is, he damn sure knew how to get your knees to buckle. The worst part about it though was that Lucas knew he had this effect on you, but he was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to expose it. Like now.

“Babygirl, you gotta tell me what you want,” Lucas cooed as his whole frame relaxed, opting to step forward and capture your face at the space between his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look up at him. His eyes were focused on your facial features, seeing what he could do test your resolve and smirking when he realized you were completely under his spell. That’s when Lucas leaned forward as if to kiss you, but instead trailed his luscious lips along the thin skin of your ear, whispering sexily, “You know these other guys can’t satisfy you the way I can. I’m going to fuck you like the little whore you are and you’re going to love every minute of it. Come on.”

You were always a sucker for a dominant personality, something Lucas knew from the way you melted into his frame when he got you back home and ravaged your neck with his soft lips, careful to pick and choose which spot on your neck was deemed worthy of a well placed bite. Any time Lucas bit down on your neck, you would give a little yelp of surprise to which Lucas would bite harder, desperate to hear your pleas. This was the only time Lucas would ever get to show you how much he hated you; with the most amazing hate sex he could ever think of.

After Lucas was satisfied with the abhorrent shades of red littering your neck and how bruised your lips were from his rough but completely intoxicating kisses, he threw you on his bed and smirked down at you. He was proud he was able to break you down to something so vulnerable and needy for him, licking his lips as his eyes ghosted over your barely covered figure. “Strip for me,” Lucas commanded as he stood at the foot of his bed, his eyes never faltering from yours to show the intensity he held in those cold, brown orbs. Something told you that you didn’t want Lucas have to tell you twice.

Carefully, you grabbed the bottom of your crop top and lifted it high above your head, exposing the eyelash lace of your barely there bra. You took this opportunity to look up at Lucas for permission to keep going, earning a slow nod from him as his hand cupped around his manhood, palming his already significant erection in the confines of his ripped jeans. Your hands then found the top of your shorts, unbuttoning the fabric and sliding it down your thighs until they were at your ankles, laying almost bare for Lucas. But just as you were about to take your panties off, Lucas quickly stopped you by lunging at you and grabbing your wrists to hold them firmly in his hands.

“Hold on babygirl, let’s not go too fast. I want to play with you a little longer,” Lucas remarked, towering over your figure to make you seem completely submissive to him. Before you could respond to his comment, Lucas was already on top of you, settling in between your thighs and glancing down at the prominent bulge in his pants. He then took his eyes to your laced thong, smirking to himself before scooting his body down so his lips were millimeters away from your clothed pussy.

“These won’t do,” Lucas grumbled, mostly to himself. Slowly, you watched as Lucas dipped his head down, pressing a kiss against your clothed pussy. Your hips bucked up subconsciously, quickly shunted by Lucas pushing his hands down on your hips to keep you still while he glared into your eyes. Nodding quickly at Lucas to prove you wouldn’t do it again, Lucas continued to toy around with you and your aroused state. His lips went from pressing against your engorged clit to sucking on the skin above your hipbones, smirking along the skin any time he heard your mewls for him and only him. He was having too much fun with this.

Lucas’ teeth captured the band of your thong, pulling the flimsy fabric down just enough to reveal your embarrassingly drenched pussy to him. “Oh babygirl,” Lucas moaned out as his eyes focused on a small flush of liquid running down your slit. “Already so wet and eager for me… But you’re not getting rewarded for being dripping like some fucking whore off the street. You’re going to work for it.”

Without so much as a word of warning, Lucas plunged his tongue deep into your walls. A small squeal fell from your lips as your pussy was being licked and prodded by Lucas and his talented tongue, but never going to the place you needed him most. While Lucas was working wonders by eating you out like you were his last meal, he purposely neglected your screaming clit, knowing you would get fussy. And just as you were about to lean down and place your finger on your clit to give it some kind of attention, your movements were halted as Lucas grabbed each of your wrists and pinned them next to your hips. He said nothing to you as he threw your legs over his shoulders, pushing his whole face in between your legs to the point his nose was poking against your clit with every ministration he performed on your sopping hole. Oh god you were close.

But Lucas knew this too by the way he could feel your walls clenching around his talented muscle, pulling himself out of you while you whined in protest. All he did was smirk at you as he wiped your juices off of his face, looking down at you disappointingly, “You think you get to cum before I do? Oh no, my sluts wait for me to cum and wait their turn. You’ll be lucky if I even let you cum at all considering you’re the worst of them all. Now get over here and suck me off before I shove it down your fucking throat for you.”

His words were so demeaning but so sensual at the same time as you couldn’t help but nod at him, ultimately switching places with him. Lucas now sat at the head of the bed, still fully clothed with the exception of his leather jacket that now lies on a chair adjacent to the bed. You could tell by the way he was sitting that he was expecting you to undress him, not letting him lift a finger for you.

Not wanting to keep him waiting for very much longer, you joined Lucas on the bed and rested your body in between his sprawled out legs, your eyes focusing on the tent that was standing proudly in Lucas’ pants. That damn smirk was still on Lucas’ face as he watched your hands work at his belt and zipper, undoing the necessary buckles until you were face to face with Lucas’ cock, completely hard and dripping with precum. You watched as a thin drop of Lucas’ precum slide down his shaft at a painfully slow rate, making his already beautiful cock look that much more appealing. Now you really hated him.

Once Lucas threw all of the unnecessary clothing off of the bed so that he was completely bare for you, you slowly took his cock in your hands, making sure to smear precum all along his shaft as more began to spew out of his slit. Your wrist worked wonders on Lucas as you twisted your hand in all the right places, working him to his full length before he impatiently grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled you so that your face was inches away from his. “I said to suck me off, not give me a pathetic handjob,” Lucas snarled as he kept his fingers laced through your hair, pulling your face down forcefully to shove his cock into your throat.

You gagged upon impact as Lucas shoved his cock so far into your mouth that it already nudged the back of your throat, tears starting to prick your eyes from the intensity of his movements on your scalp. Lucas was already disappointed in your ability to follow directions, meaning he wouldn’t let you take control in anything. Both of his hands laced their way through your hair as he constantly pushed your head down, ultimately using your throat for anything he wanted. And you just sat there, taking all the abuse Lucas had to offer while simultaneously trying to focus on not throwing up on his cock. That would really make him mad.

The torture on your throat went on for what seemed like forever, but it was probably just five minutes. Lucas was clearly enjoying using your throat as a toy given the way he threw his head back against the headboard, his eyes shut tight while his eyebrows knitted together. A flurry of curse words could be heard falling from his lips the longer he abused your throat, pushing you all the way down on his cock to the point your nose would smack against his pubic bone. If you thought the depth as bad, the speed at which he threw you down on his cock was worse, barely allowing you to recover from the next harsh thrust into your mouth.

As Lucas was nearing his climax from abusing your throat, he finally pulled you off his cock, holding your face in front of him to admire what he had done to you. Your eyes were red and swollen from the number of tears that fell thanks to your gag reflex, there was saliva mixed with Lucas’ bodily fluids covering your lips and corners of your mouth, and your face was pretty red. Even though you looked like a fucked-out mess, Lucas thought you were the sexiest thing on the planet as he moved quickly to get you underneath him, placing tender kisses along your neck as if to apologize.

“Johnny was right; you do have the softest lips,” Lucas muttered into your neck in reference to your lips being around his cock just seconds prior, still working at getting you back to normal before he would continue with the hate sex he had been saving for you for months on end. “But now I have to destroy that perfect little ass of yours.”

That came as a surprise to you considering you’ve never done anal before, something that was apparent by the look on your face as you looked up at Lucas with what could be described as fear. You’ve heard many horror stories related to anal, which is why you chose not to do it… But it’s not something you were against doing with Lucas if that’s what he wanted of you. You would do anything for him given how desperate you are for him.

In a matter of seconds, Lucas had you on your hands and knees on the bed, admiring everything he had on display for him. He never thought he would be able to have you on all fours, dripping wet for him and only him as he prepared to wreck you. Although you couldn’t see his face given you were facing away from him, you could only imagine the way Lucas was biting his lip as he bent every way he could to see your ass in all of its glory before he destroyed it.

You could feel the bed move slightly as Lucas’ thighs rubbed against the back of yours, telling you he was ready to shove himself deep inside of you. His hand reached out and rubbed your back lightly while the other one, coated with lube, rubbed all around your hole and pushed inside of you to test your resolve. You couldn’t deny it was an interesting feeling, Lucas’ finger thrusting inside of your ass lazily while his other hand massaged any apprehension and fear away slowly. Then you could feel him lean forward to have his lips ghost your ear, whispering in your ear huskily, “You didn’t think I would fuck your pathetic pussy that’s had at least twenty guys in it, did you? No, babygirl. I’m going to be the only one to fuck your ass from here on out, understand? Now be a good girl and take it.”

Without another word of warning, the hand that was previously giving you one of the most relaxing massages was now pushing down in between your shoulder blades to force your face and torso flat against the pillow, allowing Lucas more access to your ass. You could feel the generous amount of lube on Lucas’ cock as he toyed with your hole, running the tip of his cock along your hole before he gripped your right hip and slid himself in slowly, earning a gasp from you. The stretch was painful at first considering no one has ever fucked you in the ass before, but you didn’t have any time to complain as Lucas quickly pulled his hips back only to ram them back against your ass to push his cock all the way inside of you.

“Oh god, you’re so tight,” Lucas groaned as he threw his head back from feeling you clench around him, sucking him back in whenever he pulled back too far. He then continued to thrust deep inside of you, ordering you to bite the pillow whenever you felt some kind of pain because he didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. But you didn’t want him to either because you were feeling so good, loving the way Lucas’ cock pierced deep inside you and you being able to feel every single vein and twitch of his cock.

This went on for a few more minutes: your hands gripping the edge of the bed to stabilize yourself as Lucas leaned forward and thrust deep inside of you, Lucas yelling out curse words with every thrust, his hands now on either side of your hips gripping a handful of the sheets below to keep himself together, and the sound of Lucas’ hips ramming against you. Everything about this moment was euphoric for the both of you as you could feel yourself beginning to lose yourself in the throes of passion.

“Fuck, babygirl. I’m so close,” Lucas grunted through his gritted teeth as he looked down at the space where you two became one, completely enthralled by the sight of Lucas’ lube coated cock ramming deep inside of you and loving all the sounds you made in reaction to his harsh thrusts. Lucas then reached down to grab some of your hair, leaning himself back and yanking you upwards to expose your mouth and neck to him, capturing both with his lips. His kisses on your lips were soft but the bites he delivered to your neck were filled with carnal desire as he was determined to make every inch of your neck covered in bruises to be displayed to all of your other suitors. He wanted them to know that he was the one giving you the most pleasurable experience of your life and that none of them could ever compete with him if they tried. He marked you as his and only his.

“Lucas!” You cried out in sheer pleasure as the knot in your stomach finally burst from all the feelings of pleasure coursing through your veins, screaming out in painful pleasure as your back arched against Lucas and everything clenched together tightly to signal you were cumming. Your body didn’t know what to do with the amount of pleasure, causing you to be on the brink of losing consciousness as Lucas pushed through, trying to chase your high with his so you could remember the feeling of his cum filling you up. And you were granted this feeling as Lucas gave you two deep strokes, falling apart inside of you as he came inside of you, filling you up so much that his cum spilled out of you with him still inside of you and began to drip down your legs.

None of you were in any shape to move, Lucas becoming so exhausted from the energy he put into giving you the best hate sex he could ever think of as he slumped against your back, you feeling the sweat on his body and the warmth of his skin against yours. You just laid underneath him, not caring that there was cum spilling out of you and running down your legs to connect with the sheets below you. After all, it wasn’t your house, and these were not your sheets. This was Lucas’ problem, not yours. But you figured he didn’t care as he pulled out of you slowly and went right to laying next to you, hie breathing still heavy.

After about a minute of silence, Lucas turned to look over at you, still on your stomach and still gripping the sheets in your hand. He was kind of proud of himself and how he was able to make you feel so much pleasure in one session, smirking to himself as he continued to look in your direction, “You did great, by the way. Sorry I got kind of carried away.”

“Don’t be,” You grumbled into the pillow, unable to pick your head up and look at him properly. “I’ll be ready for round two in about ten minutes.”

[anannd-morrighan-lus-mor-blog]

Why Christopaganism Needs to Define Itself

Christopaganism is often trying to be what it is not.

It's trying to be Christian. It's trying to be Wiccan. It's trying to be whatever flavor of pagan, in the same manner of "Jews for Jesus". It's trying to wedge Jesus into places Jesus doesn't go (and believe it or not, there are a LOT of places that have seen the bare-footprints of the Lord of Lords). It's Wicca molded on a Christian mythos, or a Christian mythos entwined with one, with three, with twenty different mythologies and none of them synchronizing well. We try to make Jesus into other gods to suit the direction we're too afraid to admit that we're growing into: He's Dionysus and I can get drunk in ecstacy and lose myself in these men, these women, both! He's Cernunnos (yes, I've seen it, and I fight it), He'll rut the Goddess with me or He'll challenge Himself as the Oak King! He's Mithras! He's Horus and Osiris and Ra! He's Sol Invictus! He contains all and so he is all gods!

Don't even get me started on what is often done to the Blessed Mother or Mary Magdalene.

Look, you feel called, genuinely, to serve Christ in a pagan way. It's really not that unusual and it's really not that terrible. Most pagan traditions (I'm talking about the ones we have to reconstruct, but I also include others already reconstructed) have room for reconstruction and synchronizing Christianity of some flavor (Catholicism being the easiest, for historical and structural reasons) with another flavor of paganism. It's all over the Celts (which is where I am) and can be seen as a large and legitimate part of the Faith. You can be a Christian and an Alexandrian pagan. There are places where the Norse faith and Christianity meet. All those pagan traditions that Christianity draws from? They meet too, and that's nearly everywhere. There is no where where Jesus has not gone...the guy has literally been to Hell and back, I doubt he'd turn His nose at Faery, or at so many other places. I'm very sure you can adapt it to forms of Wicca, SOME forms of Wicca, if you tweak it to that you don't completely kill the mythos of both.

The real issue here is not that you can do all these things. *I* love that I can do these things. It's more that I feel like Christopaganism has no real structure...even Wicca has ground rules to follow as new traditions are built, you can likely find a thread to follow in most recons. But where is it? Christopaganism just doesn't know what it wants, or what it is, or what mythos takes precedence, if not a balanced equality, and in the end it doesn't even know who it calls God or what it's own mythology is!

Otherwise, I fear it will go the way it's been going: some attempts and wracking it together resulting in short periods of the limelight, a haven for would-be pagans afraid of betraying family or societal culture (or just afraid of going to Hell), a mishmash of faiths that serve no one but one's self...when the potential for Christopaganism (and all the other subtypes) is so much more, an opportunity to merge the past with the dying present and revitalize what each attacked in the other...the good stuff, I mean.

Christopaganism needs to know what it is, who it is.

Christopaganism is poorly developed and poorly understood.

This may be because that there are SO many ways to develop within such, and that the Christian aspect is usually actively antagonistic towards the more pagan aspect. (It really can't be denied.) While there is a long history or Christianity drawing from and synchronizing with other religions, it also has a long history of demonizing those other religions, as well as the other gods and spirits it has drawn from to form the character of the mythological Christ.

It is incredibly difficult to build a tradition, or a set of traditions under one umbrella, when there is so much cognitive dissonance surrounding it, from the developers, the developees or the pagans and Christians watching on! To get a new religion or tradition off the ground, there has to be a genuineness of belief, as well as the right kinds of motivations, and when this is clouded by personal or sub-cultural bias, it takes something like this a long time to get off the ground...something which is completely unnecessary, seeing as there is plenty of room to redefine for one's self, to agree to disagree and to set forth basic group tenets. Just like in the beginnings of Wicca, and heck, in the beginnings of Christianity, Christopaganism will likely form group by group and unlike early Catholicism, will have to uphold each other's differences rather than seek to assimilate them into a whole.

But for now, we stand wondering why Christopaganism has such a large-scale nebulousness around it. Why pagans and Christians alike turn and snicker and relegate them to the category "not a serious magician" or "not a serious pagan" or just "not worth our notice, only our laughter." Other than the cognitive dissonance mentioned earlier, as well as the sheer scale of what organizing Christopaganism would look like, a part of it like likely the lack luster talent that has noticeably tackled the issue thus far...with the exception of Joyce and River Higgenbottom's book, which I found a little uninspired and sort of route (I have to be honest), but also the most organized and and the most intelligent of the material resources out there. What resources of quality are availabile for Christopagans? A cursory web-search doesn't bring much. So much of what is available lacks substance, lacks meat, and leaves the person delving into the overwhelming (but very interesting) world of lore and history (combing out what can or cannot be found, like any good reconstructionist) or simply settling to the easiest path until something shakes them loose.

The lack of any discernable structure for the Christopagan overall is what may be the most damning, as it often leads to UPG (unverified personal gnosis) of the kind previously mentioned. "St. Michael and Lucifer are lovers!" I remember a Christopagan telling me, years before I found myself in the same spot. To this day, I find the idea laughable and to be a clear deception by God only knows what spirits she's listening to, since this UPG flies in the face of all tradition, all respect and all that we know of the two entities, embittered in enmity until the end of time. Where was she getting some of her mythology? Was she Catholic, or a Catholic-Gnostic, or a Catholic-Gnostic-Angelolatry-Witch? Even so, the UPG was suspect. And so many of us have UPG of a similar vein, that we live breathe and fight for, but what is there to check us?

I believe, personally, that Jesus is a personage in Faery, the High King of Faery (much like the legendary King Arthur) who is sacrificed in the form of a white stag upon the World Tree.

I mean, yeah. Seriously. I totally believe that. I had a long time leading me to it and several studies and experiences that got me there. But just as I say, "What do you do with THAT?" and point fingers at the girl I used to know, what are you also going to do with me?

I actually draw more from the Faery Faith than anything, and use a lot of medieval mythos to inform my opinions...along with the ancient stuff, of course. But the World Tree, while existing in ancient Celtic and Medieval Christian mythos, tends to draw most strongly from the Neo-Celtic Shamanism of John Matthews (whose books I do adore). So what does that make me?

Christopaganism is a mishmash of gods, beliefs, theologies, mythologies and cosmologies, all mushed together until it's unrecognizable. If you can find the roots of your beliefs, you can build on it. But if you can't, and it's only true because you decide it is... 

This lack of development and the poor resources lend to why Christopaganism is so poorly understood. The lack of quality in all areas can only lead one to assume the worst when seen.

Christopaganism, in many ways, is as traditional as other contemporary forms of paganism. Christian and Pagan synchrynetisms have been happening since the two religions met.

When Christianity began its mass spread across the world, it came into contact with many many world religions. And as each religion vied for supremacy in the hearts of others, borrowing cultural and religious customs became commonplace, so much so that Christianity still bears strong traces of ancient pagan practices, changed over time and redefined. Folk religious practices and official religion were equally absorbed...two of the most obvious places were in Alexandria, Egypt (that beautiful melting pot of so many cultures and religions) and in Ireland, where Christianity is present even in our lore since it was the monks who wrote it down, whose practices were absorbed in places by the Celtic church and even lady Brigid sincerely connected to the new religion and became St. Brigit. Not all of this “swapping” was theft, but the natural desire to bring beloved practices and beliefs (and gods/spirits) into the new religion.

I will never deny that Christians and pagans have a lot of blood between them, and that Christians have wiped out ancient paganism in the name of the “One True God” ideology (or mind virus, whatever). I AM saying that not all of this synchronizing has been with the intent to destroy, but more to preserve as best the can the old religions and the new.

I can recommend some of my favorite books on the subject, more or less:

-Egyptian Light, Hebrew Fire by Karl Luckert

-Christian Mythology: Revelations of Pagan Origins by Philippe Walter (questionable scholarship in places, but still a great read)

-Pagans and Christians by Robin Lane Fox

-Christians as the Roman Saw Them by Robert Louis Wilken (where we hear from the Oracle of Hekate that Jesus was a righteous man but his followers were kind of “off”)

-Cunning Folk and Familiar Spirits by Emma Wilby (more of a shamanic and spirit-work overview, though there is evidence of the Christian-pagan blending, even during a time when the Catholic Church held iron control.)

-The Cult of Kingship in Anglo-Saxon England by William A Chaney

-Religion of the Irish Celts by Sandra Bollenbacher

-Where Three Streams Meet by Sean O Duinn (OSB)

-The Rites of Brigid: Goddess and Saint by Sean O Duinn (OSB)

(My apologies at not doing a better job at this section, my CFS/ME has been bad this week.Besides, these books are more valuable than my poor opinion.)

As a result, there are MANY ways to be a Christopagan, but we lack core tenets to have us standing out from pagans who like Jesus.

I would like to propose, for starters, that not everyone who melds Christian and pagan practices, beliefs, etc. is necessarily a Christopagan.

A (Hopefully) Helpful Guide:

Folk Catholic- Someone who is essentially Catholic but incorporations present or past Catholic Folk Traditions into their present religion. Still essentially Trinitarian in a monotheistic bent. This often but not always includes folklore based traditions, such as the Celtic Faery Faith (which is based more on Wicca, Witchcraft or some other forms of Western Traditions...think Orion Foxwood or RJ Stewart...or some forms of Voodoo, Palo and Ocha...a great example is the tradition of Santisima Muerte).(I myself shuffle between this and Christo-shamanism.)

A folk Catholic is someone who typically can be seen valuing the sacraments, valuing Mass (though they may not go as often as your more orthodox Catholic) and finding wisdom in the Bible and the Catechism, though they aren’t afraid to question or reject tenets that seem contrary to their own heart (or Christ’s message, if we’re going to be honest) and usually integrates folk tradition or outright pagan beliefs into their Christianity, often outright transforming the way they see and practice as Christians. They are able to hold community with a variety of beliefs, especially those they espouse, without too much trouble. Sacredness is seen and felt in both places, and held in respect.

Folk Christian- Expand the upper definition.

I have noticed many Folk Christians practice Hoodoo or, in this country, American Regional Folk Traditions (such as Appalachian Folklore). Instead of being strictly “Folk Catholic”, a wide variety of Christian traditions are represented: Lutherans would pair well with Pennsylvania Dutch or Germanic Folk Traditions. Angelicans pretty much do whatever they want in this country, anyway. They have a strong sense of structure that would pair well with Ceremonial Magick, or some revised (or more Christianized) Theurgy. The more low-church types would pair well with mystical, shamanic or ecstatic traditions that would add to, and maybe improve, on their own charismatic technique. Pretty much anyone can work with the tradition of the saints. However, this is only my conjecture; I am sure that all types of Christianity can meld with a wide variety of traditions with the right amount of will, effort and love. 

Christoshaman- Someone who still espouses the Trinity/Jesus as God, even if this has been redefined while embracing the specific mythic thread, and incorporates various shamanic traditions, spirits, practices and even pagan “gods”, though they may be seen as spirits. Some pagan divinities may be worshipped, thought Trinity/Jesus is still seen as ultimate godhead. Mainstream Christianity may or may not be present.

This can be tricky, since the melding of Christianity and shamanism, or shamanic-based traditions, is more intense. Pieces of Christian practices will be let go to make way for new practices. Pagan “gods” may be seen as Gods and worshipped along-side, or right below, The Holy Trinity; or the Trinity may still be seen as God and the pagan gods as spirits, honored and loved and fed, but not as often or in the same way as God, who may be served at Church, honored similar to the spirits, or both! Some gods/spirits will not accept this, some will, and some will accept it for some and not for others. You never know until you ask, and begin the work. The most helpful thing is to find where Christianity and the mythic culture your draw from historically meet, and go from there.

Christopagan- Someone who still espouses the Trinity/Jesus as God, even if this has been redefined while embracing the specific mythic thread, and incorporates various pagan traditions, mythologies, practices or “gods”, though they may be seen as spirits. Some pagan divinities may be worshipped, thought Trinity/Jesus is still seen as ultimate godhead. Mainstream Christianity may or may not be present.

I don’t want to repeat myself, but a lot has been said above. The difference is primarily the focus: rather than teasing out the authentic shamanic essence in a culture, religiously and mythically, you are reconstructing (at least to start) the place where the religions met, and integrated..and there are precious few cultures that have not been touched by Christianity, for good or for ill.

Wiccan Christian- Someone who worships many gods in a polytheistic manner, of which Jesus or the Trinity is one (or three), and seen as “one god in all gods”. If Jesus and Mary are your patron gods and goddess, or if you worship the angels, the saints. Witchcraft may or may not be melded into the main tradition, and not all of the Christian beliefs, tenets or practices may be included.

It is difficult to reconcile Wicca and Christianity, even moreso than Witchcraft and Christianity. One cannot fit Jesus as their god and the Virgin Mary (or Mary Magdalene) as their goddess into Wiccan theology without bastradizing one mythology or completely changing the other. In Wicca, however, successful interweaving is possible: whole traditions are founded on it (see “The Crafted Cup”, an older classic, combining Wicca, Christianity, Arthurian legends and the Grail mythos). The difficulty is in respecting the stories and essence of both, without simply changing things around to suit your passing ideas.

Gnostic Christian- Someone who incorporates Gnosticism with other systems, such as Wicca, Shamanism, Paganism, Ceremonial Magick, and many others.

In my limited experience of this faction, Gnostic ideas are combined with mainstream Christianity (and usually take precedence), and often are combined with one or more magickal systems: ceremonial magick with a focus on theurgy, hermetic or Christian Kabbalah, Witchcraft, etc. I have not seem it combined with pagan practice save once, and while I wasn’t sure of the legitimacy of this practice, I don’t doubt that there are others who can make this work.

Gnostic figures will be present with near certainty, and this includes the more well-known figures, such as Sophia (Jesus’ gnostic other half) and Yalbadoath (Sophia’s son made without mate -and so was imperfect- who others often say is the real spirit of the institutional church. Sometimes I think I agree.)

Angelology, Demonology (sadly) or the worship/work with the Saints may accompany any of these. Many Christopagans may not feature angels, saints or demons in their work, and some may feature heavily. It may seem like an unworkable contradiction to have someone revere Jesus, Satan or others, but I have seen it at least once or twice before. However, the term “Luciferan Christian” or anything having to do with real theistic Satanism is beyond the scope of the article.

PS: Even if you claim to worship Jesus or serve St. Michael, if you worship Lucifer or any form of the devil, you are a Luciferan or a Satanist. Hands down. The streams just do not mix, and there is no argument that can change that. They were made to oppose, which is not the aim of Christianity with any other religion. It is a literal case of "You cannot serve two masters." At the very least, you will love one and forget the other.

So, fellow esoteric Christians and Christopagans, I leave you with just a few hints of advice.

1. Don’t be afraid to make up your own mind.

People love to tell you what to believe, without any regard to your feelings, simply because they believe it and you must believe it to satisfy their strength in said belief, or simply their ego. Don’t fall into that trap. Ask yourself questions, don’t be afraid of the answers, and decide for yourself what you believe, based on what your heart, mind and the still voice of your spirit tell you- don’t believe based on family, or community, or culture. Don’t believe based on threats to your soul (you’re going to Hell!) or to your personal integrity (You are a really ignorant person if you believe this...) Spiritual immaturity accusations are another to let fly by you (You’re just not over your Christianity yet...you’ll grow up some day...).

2. Don’t be afraid to contradict yourself, and catch yourself in contradiction.

Reconciling Christianity with a pagan belief system of any kind is a challenge. There will be a day you believe something and then a day you don’t. There will be a day you waffle back and forth. This is normal! When you are in the beginning stages, or even intermediate stages...or, well, any stage of integrating two spiritualties, there will be changes, fluxuations and stages of belief: where you are, where you’re going, etc. It seems chaotic, but try to just let it flow around you and examine what settles into place. Catching yourself in contradiction will help you see where you have not reconciled your feelings on a particular belief. Having a friend to talk things over with (without judgement) would be ideal.

3. Don’t be afraid to change, as long as it’s to evolve, and sometimes rapidly.

As mentioned: let things flow where they may, and examine what settles. Let your “unconscious” work things through as you do consciously. Try to avoid the chaos of confusion or the similar chaos of excitement, and enjoy both as you take your time in discovery.

4. Don’t be afraid to let go of others who tell you what to believe, or what is right and wrong when it is based out of their own ego or religious programming.

You don’t have to exile them from your life, if they are important to you- but close this part of your life off from them and protect it. Do not engage in conversation about your religion, do not tolerate bad attitudes or insults but be peaceful in your disagreements. Save your vulnerable, developing self, but save your relationships, too.

Don’t tolerate toxic relationships, period. Kick them to the curb.

5. Know who you are. Know what you’re looking at. Know when you’re following something true, and when you’re deluding yourself: we all do it, have done it. There is no shame in owning your faults and moving forward.

Don’t try to be what you think you should be. Don’t try to be what you aren’t.

[violyntfemme]

rules:

1. always post the rules. 2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. write 11 questions of your own and tag 11 (or however many) people to answer them.

I was tagged by @hisreindeerjumper (first set) and @futuredescending (second set) so I am answering two sets.

Sorry this took so long but I started it last night as the meds were kicking in and it quickly devolved into incoherency :) 

1. what fandom have you been involved in that’s your favorite to date? Kingsman, hands down. Things are a little rough now and then lately, but I am hoping we find that live and let live attitude we all had less than six months ago, both before and after K2

2. what did you want to grow up to be when you were little? An archeologist, or a writer, or a fashion designer. I can’t draw and I hate chipped nails so really only one of those were going to work out for me.

3. favorite places to shop online? My Pretty Zombie cosmetics. 

4. first kiss! tell me all about it! and i you haven’t been kissed yet, how do you want it to go down? do you want to be kissed at all? It was at my grandmother’s house. I was 13, he was 18. He played the guitar and I thought he was a god. It was horrible though. I mean I knew nothing about kissing and he, like a typical guy, thought that he had to inhale the lower portion of my face. 

5. who was the first author that you read with a voracious hunger? Poppy Z. Brite. I still have my original, and falling apart, copies of Lost Souls and Drawing Blood, along with most of her (now his) books that have been released. I read and re-read them a million times.

6. what color looks best on you? Black. Always.

7. do you read your horoscope? If I come across it, but I do not seek it out.

8. what are you most proud of in your life? My published LGBT erotica. You think it would be becoming an attorney. Nope, it’s my porn that makes me proud. 

9. favorite food & why! Milano Cookies, dark chocolate preferably. They are wonderful with a cup of tea. They remind me of staying up late with my mother watching old BBC shows.

10. what scent do you have the strongest memory association with? CK One. I can’t stand it now, but one sniff and I am back in 1995 instantly. 

11. favorite tea flavor! Earl Grey, more specifically, Hooded Figures blend or a London Fog.

------

1. What is the nicest thing someone has done for you? When we had a rare ice storm and it was super cold out, my husband got up while I was getting ready for work and turned on my car to warm it up and de-ice it. Then he took some small rugs, the kind you wipe your feet on, and placed them over the ice as a path so I could get to my car safely (since I use a cane). Inside the car was my coffee and lunch waiting for me. This is the kind of thing he does on the reg. I don’t know why the man stays with my salty and bitter ass.

2. Do you have NOTPs? If so, why are they NOTPs for you? In Kingsman, Roxy/Eggsy. I am not hating on the ships at all, they just don’t work for me because I can’t see any tension between the characters. Roxy and Eggsy are my number one BROTP though and any fic that can capture that relationship well has all my love. In Sherlock John/Mary/Sherlock or Sherlock/Mary. I cannot stand her. Well, I take that back. The Mary that lived in John’s head in the last two episodes, her I actually liked quite a bit.

3. Summarize the worst film/book/song/story you’ve ever read/watched? Girl gets cursed by an old woman because Girl denies the lady a loan extension. Cue the worst. movie. I. have. ever. watched. My husband and I hated it so much that every time we watch something shitty we say that was terrible, but it wasn’t Drag Me to Hell terrible. It is the movie that all shitty movies are measured against. My best friend loved it and he is no longer allowed to rec movies to us. 

4. What are some fandom/fic things that irrationally annoy you? The mob mentality that crops up when there is a disagreement over anything. It happens in every fandom. Conversation devolves into vague-blogging and and passive aggressive tags. We are adults. Somebody doesn’t like what you like or vice versa? Cool. You keep liking your shit the way you like it and they can keep liking their shit the way they like it. There is more than enough shit for all of us to like. There will never be a shortage of shit, trust me on this.

Don’t agree with someone? Wonderful. Either talk about it like an adult and have a conversation or leave it alone. For example, there is a topic that I 100% stay away from in the Kingsman fandom because it makes me very uncomfortable and anxious. I do not agree with the popular opinion of the fandom regarding this topic. However, I realize that it is a popular topic, which very few, if any at all, of the rest of the fandom has an issue with, so I either blacklist it or take a little tumblr break until the conversation dies down. Because I am an adult and I am responsible for my internet experience. 

5. Write a summary for the fic you want to write but never will? Q has been clean for years, before even MI6 got their hands on him. The day James leaves with Madeline, however, Q finds himself in a ratty hoodie and torn jeans, walking down the same street where he once traded favors for whatever drug he needed that day. Cocaine for coding, X for laughter, morphine to forget. He just needs it this once. Morphine to forget James and whatever they were becoming before Swann, well, swanned, in. Cocaine to get him to work the day after. 

He has this under control. He does.

Until he doesn’t. Until Q is one needle away from existing and Geoffery, the addict, is about to take his place again. 

Until James comes back and sees what he left in his wake.

6. Someone writes a story that perfectly hits all your buttons. That story includes: _____, ______, and _________.  HC, Dom/Sub and ANGST. Kill me with the angst (bonus points if one of the pairing is in a downward spiral of self-destructive tendencies). 

7. I’m stealing @colinfilth’s question once asked on twitter bc it was SO GOOD: what is the fic one would write that clued your readers in that your identity had been stolen? A fic where there is a MCD of one people in the pairing, or the pairing the fic centers around does not end up together in the end. I want everyone to suffer terribly, cry and gnash their teeth, but they have to end up together and happy by the last sentence. It literally can be the last sentence that brings them back together, but it HAS to be there. After much pain and suffering of course.

8. Most embarrassing celebrity crush, past or present? I thought George Hamilton was the shit when I was really young for some reason. For the life of me I can’t even remember why or what show he was in that I watched. 

9. How much research will you do for a fic? Wing it? Get lost in a wikipedia hole? Read actual books on a topic? Google translate? Get consulting with native speakers? I will go as far as I need to to make sure whatever I am writing is as correct as possible. I don’t have a brit picker though because I am too introverted to ask, so that is an opportunity I have in my fics.

10. The one thing the creator of your current fandom could do to kill your fandom love. Not give us multiple shots of Whiskey’s ass in those Levis. 

I jest. A little.

Honestly, even if the movie sucks, I will still be here because the fan fic is phenomenal and I love the people I interact with within the fandom. And if the fandom falls apart, I will still be here by myself, re-reading the fan fic that has already been written. 

My questions:

1. What is something you loved as a child that you still love as an adult?

2. What is a show/book/band/movie that you love but are embarrassed to admit to?

3. If you have a day completely to spend as you please, what do you do?

4. What book or fic can you literally read over and over again to the point where you could probably recite it, but you still read it?

5. If you wear makeup, what is the one thing you could not live without?

6. Who is a role model for you? (Fictional or Real)

7. What fandom were you in, that you are no longer in, that you miss even though you won’t go back to it?

8. What is your aesthetic?

9. If you had to choose on to give up, would you give up reading or listening to music. Why?

10. What is the one thing that you feel as if you must do before you die? The number one spot on your bucket list.

11. How long have you been friends with your best friend(s)?

I’m tagging @opalescentgold, @timetospy, @mannersmakethmoi, @privatelyvex, @alethiaii, @plotqueen and @eggsy-youcheekytart, and anyone else who hasn’t done it yet.

[edh-a-to-z]

5 - Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran

(Fair warning - I’m a bit biased for Agrus here, he was a lot of my firsts; first rare, first commander. But you can ignore the review and assume he’s Adriana from 2005).

Our fifth commander, and our second in Boros colors, is the Ravnican beat cop (and one-time ghost), Agrus Kos.

LORE: Agrus Kos is one of the central characters of the original Ravncia block. Long story short:

ACT 1: Getting too old for this shit

(1) Beat cop Agrus is almost done with working on the streets, ‘til his parter gets killed. (cue jazzy detective music)

(Actual image of Agrus investigating)

(2) His ensuing investigation leads to the discovery of the Dimir guild, who previously were unknown among the 10 guilds of Ravnica (seriously, did the 9 guilds not notice 10 seals on Ravnica stuff? Jeez.)

(3) He works with Jarad to arrest Szadek for being naughty.

And trying to take over all of Ravnica. Normal bad guy stuff.

ACT 2: Electric Boogaloo

(4) A retired Agrus now works as an Orzhov security guard (beat cop -> bank guard).

(5) Crap happens - a quiet life is disrupted by ALL the Firemane Angels going missing, Teysa Karlov plotted to claim her inheritance, and an Izzet mage Zomaj plotted to devastate Ravnica by hatching ancient Dragon eggs. 

You know, a normal day in Ravnica.

(6) Agrus Kos helps save the day. He also crashes and dies. Spoiler.

ACT 3: Ain’t No Rest For the Dead

(7) Freshly dead Agrus is brought back by Grand Arbiter Augustin IV to investigate Szadek (now a malicious spirit) and something called...Project Kraj.

(8) Agrus kills crazy Momir Vig, but not before Experimental Kraj gets out. Apparently, this is all part of Augustin’s plan to let the Azorious sieze control of Ravnica. Plot happens and stops him.

(9) Saving Ravnica the third time, Agrus finally goes back to doing what he loves - He’s made a beat cop in the spirit district of Agyrem.

THE CARD

Agrus Kos is a walking anthem. Literally.

Walking is involved.

Moreso than most standard Boros commanders (like Aurelia or Gisela), Agrus is married to the combat phase - his ability only matters then. Functionally, he acts a little like radiance, boosting the Boros colors based on what color they are - Red gets +2/+0, White gets +0/+2, creatures that are both get +2/+2.

Interestingly, it says “attacking creatures,” not ones you control, so he works slightly better in 2HG games of EDH, assuming your partner is running White or Red.

I’m uncomfortable with such a vulnerable commander - any card that can be Bolt’d hurts, and EDH decks love unconditional removal on top of that. Agrus doesn’t start with haste, so he has to survive an entire turn (usually turn 5) on the board before having an effect. Luckily, we’re in white, so “armor up” with the standard equipment package - protection artifacts (like Whispersilk Cloak), cards to tutor them out (Open the Armory), and Sunforger.

It’s Boros. Never leave the Sunhome without the Sunforger.

BATTLE PLAN:

We like attacking and anthems. The creatures don’t really matter, but pick from Ravnica and R2R block for flavor points (the only reason to play Agrus).

So attacking, we look to red. 

Effects like Breath of Fury let us keep swinging. Ideally, we need extra creatures (like tokens) to slip through and sac for this. On top of this, we can include Fury of the Horde, Aurelia the Warleader (an all-around better commander), Hellkite Charger, Relentless Assault, Savage Beating, and Waves of Aggression (repeatable!). You want to make the most of your anthems, you use extra phases. If we’re playing a sub-par Boros commander, we gotta play our strengths.

Next, we want anthems. Luckily, it’s white’s forte.

Gleam of Battle lets you use the attacking phases better. Straight-up anthems, like Glorious Anthem, Honor of the Pure, Marshal’s Anthem, Cathar’s Crusade, and Legion’s Initiative can buoy even a lackluster team. Balefire Liege  and some other creatures do the job on creatures.

Then there are some quasi-anthems - they enhance creatures, but not just P/T.

True Conviction, Gratuitous Violence, Berzerker’s Onslaught, and Odric, Lunarch Marshal + Duelest’s Heritage (or any creature with an ability) make your fighting force even more effective. 

Finally, we need tokens. Cheap, disposable creatures for the churn of battle. Don’t mourn them, there’s plenty more where they came from.

Mobilization is the standard by which you can compare other token makers to. It has a quasi-anthem effect, it’s a mana dump when needed. Assemble the Legion, Rise of the Hobgoblins, Decree of Justice, Martial Coup, Tempt with Vengeance, Nomad’s Assembly, White Sun’s Zenith and any Elspeth, are great token makers.

THE REST (Rounding it out)

While Boros commanders usually like a weapons package (Stoneforge Mystic, Stonehewer, Swords of X & Y, plus tutors), Agrus doesn’t rate this - he doesn’t have haste, protection, or any reason to be a voltron commander like other Boros commanders. 

The usual removals of Disenchant, Path, Swords, and other exile and artifact/enchantment removal all make sense here. Normal EDH staples of Wrath effects belong, as well as normal Manarocks.  

WEAKNESSES

Basically everything. 

We’re talking Yamcha levels here. A rogue Lightning Bolt spells doom for us (outside of being Anthem buffed). The second Agrus hits the ground, he’s a newborn baby. On his own, he can’t even fight that well, against the likes of 4/4 angel tokens, and 99/99 Voltron commanders.

Next, the normal Boros weakness - lack of utility of Aggro in EDH. Boros wants to attack stuff, and EDH isn’t conducive to that - Radiance and Battalion are fun, but color-based and attack-based abilities lose reliability.

Additional Boros weakness include the weakness of on-color ramp and draw. White does get some ramp in the form of Land Tax style effects, so that lets you keep up with the player ramping to 8 lands on turn 3.

Most of the stuff you can’t do can be patched up with Artifacts - protection, extra removal, mana ramping and draw. Things like Signets, Cluestones, and artifacts like Staff of Nin do a lot to help.

RATINGS

Control: 2/10 - Agrus control comes solely from his colors. He offers nothing immediately to changing the board, nor does his ability help do anything except buff your guys on the attack.

Diplomacy: 2/10 - You’re in an aggro deck with limited options, your diplomatic negotiation boils down to “I won’t smack you in exchange for X”

Aggro: 5/10 - Not an ability, but a necessity. Fortunately, Boros colors help, but Boros isn’t exceptionally powerful in EDH (it hurts to play Boros in a long grindy format). 

Overall Power: 1/10 - Apart from some flavor-based EDH game, like a Ravnica block guild champion fight, Agrus is miles out of his league against average 75% games, and lags behind even gimmick decks - because he is a gimmick deck.

Affordability: 6/10 -  The only redeeming point is that Agrus himself, and a budget build of go-long Boros, is pretty easy to build on a budget. It’d be exorbitant to try and make him competitive, and even then, it would hurt.

Overall: 16/50 - The worst of our commanders thus far. While Agrus is a textbook Boros “combat matters” commander, he’s by far one of the worse. I replaced him with Tajic in my old Boros EDH deck, and then dropped Agrus from the deck. It hurt, but he wasn’t pulling his weight. 

He can’t do the job as a commander.

1 of the 99: I can’t recommend him as an option. The average Anthem effect is a better replacement, and doesn’t rely on anyone attacking for the buff to happen. Maybe Glorious Anthem, Marshal’s Anthem, Cathar’s Crusade, anything works much more effectively than Agrus.

Final Verdict: As much nostalgia I have invested in Argus, he hasn’t stood up well to the test of time.

[smartoptionsio]

Fat Pigs Signals: Armed Pigs fighting Bears

Fat Pigs Signals Review

+++Bear Market Resistant Binance Signals+++

(Listed in “The Best Crypto Signals since 11/2018 – updated 03/2019) ~ Binance Signals| Portfolio Analysis | News ~

%

Average Accuracy Rate

 Measured Accuracy Rate on Average since September '18

Fair Warning: Fat Pig Signals do not come with bells & whistles. They don’t sell you a well-decorated tiny piece of meat on a noble looking plate – here you get a juicy steak like Grandma did, though from smart guys, which know how to bring that bacon home! We tested Fat Pig Signals in the worst bear market. Bitcoin just destroyed the 4K support and the markets tanked like if they were searching for pearls on the ground of the Mariana Trench.  Sure, right now there is an Alt Season, but when I started to monitor their trades, was a phase where the most left and right collected stop/losses as if they were stamps. To be honest, I am still puzzled how they do it – but in times, where you start the Binance app and see more blood than on a Butcher’s table, these guys have their trades running in the few assets which show green. Fat Pig Signals slaughter their way to the bear market – and by the way, their chat alone is so funny, it is worth the membership fees (for friends with a more rough kind of humor, though). This, by the way, is great to have here – the admins spread much knowledge there and you can extract great extra trades from time to time.

The Offering:

Binance signals with great risk management

News updates

Portfolio management (mid & long-term)

Private Facebook Group

Friendly chat and well-versed team

Their signals flowed like the video below

The Signals

The signals come plain and simple here, always with the appropriate technical analysis attached. In September we saw a nice 100% trade, which could have even become a 200% trade if we’d hold it for more ($XRP) – these guys catch those movers and have a great hand for the right picks. This is not a fluffed up service with tons of features. They bring what they are paid for: successful binance signals – and boy, they delivered even in the worst markets. These signals are priceless in the current markets and checking their long-term history, one can see that they really know what they do. Since September they showed a long-term consistent accuracy of 82.84%, tendency rising. Most often they aim for targets in the 25% range. Their community values their accuracy and praises them a lot in the very active chat room, where one can spot many additional setups.

Signals Example

Trade for GO/BTC

Well, this is going to be interesting on the chart, as this trade became a 154% trade, and that while BTC was shitting the bed. GO even didn’t stop there and went much higher in the coming days, but hey, I don’t complain about a 154% profit in the worst market conditions.

Go Trade on the Chart

Market Update by Fat Pig Signals

The Results

Fat Pig Signals are able to deliver results.  Recently we see accuracy rates between 90 and 100%, but we are in good market conditions. It is more important to consider the results they have shown when everything was red, like in our test month, which ended pretty positive with around 110% profit – and that while Bitcoin headed sub 4k. What I liked very much that these AGP (Account Growth Potential) has been achieved with just around 14 trades, so they don’t overdo it with the trades, but instead select carefully the good ones. The stops never exceeded 10% loss, so they always kept a good Risk:Reward ratio in mind and the few losses have been ironed out nicely. One cannot count the many trade setups which have been posted in direct customer communication in their chat room, which is very active, but surely you can grab some education there in a loose and funny atmosphere (ok sometimes the jokes go a bit far, but it is a thing of taste, I guess).

The Support

They are always around and they maintain quite a neat big support team, and there is always someone near, willing to help. The traders are very active themselves are very active in the chat room and always around when it comes to the need for a helping hand. Customers can also request help in private messages, they are very easy and one has to ask when do they ever sleep.

The Critique

 No big critics here. They always consider the Bitcoin movement before handing out a signal, they have proper stops in place. They support their members very actively in their chat. The Risk:Reward might be considered as mediocre, though to some if you consider its ratio between target 1, the stop and the finally locked in target gains. However, this is a critique on paper and totally OK if it is their strategy which helps them to keep up with the high accuracy provided.

What makes this channel unique? 

The channel has a very unique flavor, which you cannot bring this down to a few words. They don’t feature much extras and gimmicks, they plain and simple offer rocking altcoin signals, no matter how bad the markets are. Notable is, for sure, the community they developed in their chat rooms – this is where you get their style the best. Sometimes rough (users not admins), but always very helpful and educating. They restrict their signals to coins/tokens with decent volume, which makes it easy to get in and out and also decreases the risk of getting pumped & dumped. Good research behind the trades. Furthermore, they feature a 24/7 YouTube Channel where people can see them live trading, making sure their work is unique and based on their real trading knowledge.

Customer Insights Review

In this section, we ask existing customers or members of the smart options telegram channel for an additional unbiased review. Form and content are completely free, so the channel tester is free to express his/her opinion. This customer insights review has been provided by long-term Fat Pig Signals member Felix.

“Hello out there. My name is Felix and today it´s my turn to give you a short summary of my experience in the last 6 months with FPS VIP Service. Like I mentioned before I joined the FPS VIP Service in October 2018 and the results are fantastic.

The Signals

First Point I want to mention is the signals themselves. So, to be honest when I joined, I thought TA is just nonsense, but FPS taught me the opposite. The signals are shared very fast and the market updates are very quickly available after some rapid movements in the market. Sometimes it happens that these signals run up very fast after they were shared in VIP Chanel, but this is just if it’s a lower volume coin. I personally just use the BTC and ETH updates to make some leverage trades with the signals shared but I also have a look at the Altcoin signals and mostly they hit the provided targets very fast. From time to time there is a signal that is running into the opposite direction than expected but the also provided Stop-loss gets triggered and you´re out of the trade without too much loss. Generally, there is just a very low percentage of “Failed Signals” and if you trade all these signals you should be in a significant profit soon.

The Technical Analysis

The second point will be the TA (Technical Analysis) that gets provided on top of the Signals. I mentioned before that there are 2 different types of Signals shared in the VIP Chanel. On the one hand there are the Altcoin signals and on the other hand, you will find market updates on the biggest cryptocurrency’s like Bitcoin, Ethereum, Ripple, Litecoin and BCash. For these updates, you get also provided the TA why these Targets are where they are, and you will learn a lot just from reading these Updates. If you have some further questions why this price-level should act as Support or Resistance, there is the open Telegram group where you can ask anything and have lots of fun in there. This leads me to my third point.

The Chat Room & Support

The third point is the Telegram Group and the Admins in there. Since I joined FPS I´m spending a lot of time in the Fat Pig Chat. There are quite a lot of admins and it seems as there would be a 24/7 support. If you have any questions about recent Signals that were shared or even, you have some questions about your personal TA just ask in there. There are a lot of pretty good traders in there that are willing to help you within minutes. Now after I’m in that group for almost 6 months I have to say it is not just a signal service for me it got more for me personally. It just feels like a big Family you join, and everyone is nice and helps each other. Especially Gang Plank and C K in Telegram supported me a lot in starting my own TA and they give me some pieces of advice and answer all of the questions I have, and these are a lot to be honest because I´m just at the beginning. The support you receive from those people in this group is amazing.

The Customer Judgement

In the end, I would like to summarize my thoughts on FPS and I really have to say that these guys are totally worth their money. You don’t just receive these sick signals with a decent accuracy, NO you also get all this amazing admins and the other members in Fat Pig Chat are decent. If you just want to make money and you’re not interested in a community just go for the VIP Signal Service and trade these Signals and you will make your money back within few weeks just depending on your funds you’re trading with. If you want to make money and search for a nice and amazing Community just go for FPS Signal Service and get into Fat Pig Chat as soon as possible. I guess you will feel soon that this was the right decision.

To finalize my summary, I would like to thank all the FPS team for this amazing support you provide your signals are the best out there and I love every day I’m in telegram with you guys <3.

Hope to see you soon in the Fat Pig Chat and give you this feeling I had when I joined the Fat Pigs!”

THE JUDGEMENT

Fat Pig Signals offer unique work. You will never find stolen signals or anything else shady with them – an upfront, honest signal provider with a strong community, which engages you to learn in a funny environment. That being said, the received signals are always from great quality and an outstanding sign of quality is how they monitor the complete crypto market environment before they are handing out trading recommendation. The technical analysts’ knowledge consists of way more than “muh triangle memes” and to be honest, I love their “almost hidden” BitMEX signals they give as a bonus here and there. For those who complain about the Risk:Reward – it is all part of their strategy and has been proven to be consistently successful. Thing is, if you have proven track record and success rate like Fat Pigs for months and months, you can allow yourself this drawback. All in all, Top work for a real good price. 1 Eth for three months is more than justified, if ETH drops another time like I did in the last month’s I’d make sure to get a yearly subscription at a discount. Oink.

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Fact Sheet for Fat Pig Signals

Official website: www.fatpigsignals.com

Telegram Contact: @dad10 or @gangplank123

Discount Code:  SmartOptions (-10%)

Plans & Pricing: 3 months 1 ETH |  6 months 1.5 ETH | 12 months 2.5 ETH (spot conversion to BTC possible; Discount not deducted)

Auto Trader: No

Special Features: Great Community behind this service, relative safe quality signals - even in the worst bear markets, trades only in highly liquid coins to avoid risky pumps.

Signals with technical analysis: All signals came with a technical analysis

Chatroom: @fatpigtrollbox

ResultTracking: Constantly updated sheet on Google Docs

Exchanges: Binance

Trading Timezones: 24hrs

Free Channel: @fatpigsignals 

How the paid channel looks like: 

Trusted Signal Provider

Fat Pig Signals is a Trusted Signal Provider

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[gatorfruit-moved]

for the send numbers ask... i literally wanna know everything about you. just do all the ones you're ok with doing 💜

scghumaeca oh my god

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I honestly have no idea, probably Mack

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Outgoing but anxious lmao

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Probably Denny, I haven’t seen him for awhile and I think he’s going to be at our environmental conference. I need to talk to him about internships.

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I guess, I’m kinda cold outwardly sometimes and bad at conversations

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Probably yeah, I’d get yelled at though

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

I usually like bigger guys but I think that’s the dyspohria talking. With girls I tend to like short sweet girls.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

God probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A girl I like

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Kinda??? I make dirty jokes but sometimes I get super dysphoric cuz my bottom dysphoria is BAD

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mack last night, sad shit oof

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Will you both be home at normal times?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Oof I don’t really keep favorite songs lmao. I like Hurt, Splash Mountain, (Fuck A) Silver Lining, This Is Home, and I Am Shit

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

God yeah

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Not really

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Last summer I became friends with the boys lmao

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I haven’t kissed anyone

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Of course, it’s unrealistic for there to be nothing

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No, I haven’t seen him for like 6 years

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Eh, I’m not a fan of baths in general

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know my new ones but my old ones were the worst

21. What are you bad habits?

Over and undereating, biting nails, drinking too much caffeine, self deprecation, there’s a lot

22. Where would you like to travel?

The Netherlands, Mexico, basically everywhere

23. Do you have trust issues?

Oh god yeah I do

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Seeing the dove in the morning I guess

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Hips, chest, groin basically

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Lie there for awhile and scroll through tumblr

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Darker tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

Mack

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

I don’t have any ex’s

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Hell yeah, I wanna get married so bad

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

For a lil tiny one lmao, I need a haircut

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

gchueirmqo idk, I don’t get celebrity crushes

33. Spell your name with your chin.

I am on my laptop rip. Zscxott paeris aretghur kajhor. Hey pretty close.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I’m in marching band, I’m joining a men’s roller derby team, I would play hockey if I could, I might be joining wrestling but I’m afraid of getting shit from people

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I mean music is in tv shows??? I listen to more music than I do watch tv but there’s the stories I get invested in on tv. But I also play music. I have no clue.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Uh, yeah. ofc

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Wow, riveting.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

I don’t really have one??? Idk I like people who make me feel safe cuz I never do.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I like some of the newer GAP clothes, Market District is a good hangout place

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Go to Harvard and major in Biology.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Usually but one person did fuck me over that I don’t fuck with anymore

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Probably pissed off

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Not often, I zone out easily

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space, the ocean kinda freaks me out

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Mostly just Mack

46. What are you paranoid about?

Everything in the world

47. Have you ever been high?

No I’ve smoked like twice and it just gave me anxiety

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Another no, I don’t like the taste of alcohol but I had like half a mike’s

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Eh, not really

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black and white

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yeah, often

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wanna be cis dude

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I don’t wear makeup but Lush has nice foundation

54. Favourite store?

No idea, Market District and GAP like the other question but it’s really not a thing for me

55. Favourite blog?

Oh lord idk

56. Favourite colour?

Violet, rust red

57. Favourite food?

Wedding soup

58. Last thing you ate?

I just ate a bunch of walnuts

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Uh, lunch, spicy chicken strips

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I’ve won a ton of academic ones because I’m super competitive. There’s a band one I won, there’s hockey intramurals I destroyed in, pickleball during gym too.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

I haven’t even had a detention

62. Been arrested? For what?

No but I’ve gotten yelled at by cops for no reason

63. Ever been in love?

I don’t really know. Platonically yeah

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Haven’t had one

65. Are you hungry right now?

No, I just ate

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t really talk to anyone on tumblr

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Yeah, King of the Hill

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Mack

71. Craving something? What?

Mmmmmmmmmm t. And steak.

72. What colour are your towels?

Blue, tan, white, they’re all covered in hair dye too

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Like three full sized ones, a few smaller ones

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

A ton

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

^^^

75. Favourite animal?

Hyena

76. What colour is your underwear?

The ones I’m wearing rn are greeeeen

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Cookie dough or cake batter. Any sorta baked good flavors

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black, it’s my annie cast shirt

80. What colour pants?

I’m not wearing pants

81. Favourite tv show?

King of the Hill and almost any old cartoon.

82. Favourite movie?

COCO BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Either Regina or Gretchen

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Any of the sharks probably, I haven’t seen the movie for awhile

87. First person you talked to today?

Ms. Meyer

88. Last person you talked to today?

Dustin I think

89. Name a person you hate?

Alexa

90. Name a person you love?

Platonically, Mack

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

MMMMMMMM ALEXA

92. In a fight with someone?

Yeah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Like two pairs

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Six or seven I think

95. Last movie you watched?

Infinity War

96. Favourite actress?

I don’t really keep track of actors/actresses, probably Meryl Streep

97. Favourite actor?

Tom Holland cuz fuck man he didn’t have to kill me but he did

98. Do you tan a lot?

Not like going out to tan but whenever I’m in the sun, which is often, I tan really easily

99. Have any pets?

Yeah four dogs and a uromastyx

100. How are you feeling?

Eh, ok. I lost my voice so it’s deeper than usual which is nice.

101. Do you type fast?

I guess? I just took a test and I’m 67 WPM.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yeah a lot

103. Can you spell well?

Not out loud. I tend to skip some words since I’m better at math than language arts, I’ve got a numerical and art brain

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Opa, Cadmium, friends from shows

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yeah I host one every year

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Uh I highly fucking doubt it

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yeah it was fun, I miss it

108. What should you be doing?

Probably working on my finals

109. Is something irritating you right now?

My mom

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Oof yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?

Yeah really bad

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Probably Mack

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Boogie, pietje, there’s a lot

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yeah I’m from PA.

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not often

116. Are you listening to music right now?

No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Hell yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Another hell yeah

119. Favourite book?

I really like When the Moon Was Ours but I’m not done with it yet, I haven’t gotten many chances to read it

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Not at all

121. Are you mean?

I mean jokingly yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Oh god no, I’m a dirty nature boy

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No

125. Do you believe in true love?

Honestly I have no idea

126. Are you currently bored?

Kinda, it’s the depression lmao

127. What makes you happy?

Animals, people I get along with, tea

128. Would you change your name?

Legally yeah lmao

129. What your zodiac sign?

Aquarius sun, sagittarius moon, gemini rising, aquarius venus, aries mars, and capricorn mercury.

130. Do you like subway?

Yeah, meatball subs boi

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Idk honestly

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mack

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“Often I am upset that I cannot fall in love but I guess this avoids the stress of falling out of it.”

134. Can you count to one million?

Yeah

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk man, I don’t usually tell lies and when I do I honestly forget about them

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

A little over 5’6”

138. Curly or Straight hair?

I’ve got wavy hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Dirty blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

September or October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Not at all

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea

146. Was today a good day?

I felt accepted by some people I usually don’t, but there was some other stressful shit so it’s kind of a neutral day

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in outer space, which is cool” - Katya Zamolodchikova

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Eh, idk. I’m not a huge believer in the supernatural.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“It must make you sad,” Lian said, in a way that wasn’t warm enough to sound kind or sharp enough to sounds mean. “What happened with your mother

I included the whole paragraph cuz continuity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks, this was a fucking adventure