#a short poem is all i can manage right now but i'm happy to manage it at all after so long of not writing!!

[snowdropheart]

Diary Entry: November 13, 2024

This shame has teeth, but I’m holding it close, honey. You never learned another way to live, just trying to stay whole in the November wind, disemboweling and falling out of time.

And I’m bleeding. Punctured by the canine of being. Turn the volume down, honey, and walk headlong in the November wind—

Across the cricket pitch, the city lights beat, just people, just breathing. The beaver moon like a god made of rock; I’m bleeding. Have I ever said how much I love this place? Sometimes, when I’m walking, I think: moment and memory are the same, colliding here on the sidewalk—

[doumadono]

emergency request!

ive been having these just horrible nightmares the past month. i wake up around 6 times a night cause of them, and cant take any supplements like melatonin cause of health issues right now. its horrible. i wake up shaking and in tears. im getting horrible sleep. i keep having the nightmares of dying, being kidnapped, or my mother passing. are you able to write an izuku x f!reader with him comforting reader, please?

sorry if this is too specific. 🫶

In safe arms - Izuku Midoriya x Reader

A/N: nightmares can be incredibly distressing and exhausting. Try some relaxation techniques before bed, like deep breathing exercises, soothing music, or a calming bedtime routine. You are stronger than your fears, and you will get through this!

EMERGENCY REQS - PART 2

You wake up again, drenched in cold sweat, your heart racing and your breaths coming in short, panicked gasps. The images from the nightmare are still vivid in your mind - flashes of dark alleys, sinister faces, and the gut-wrenching fear of losing someone you love. You can feel the tears streaming down your face, and all you want is to feel safe, to feel like everything is going to be okay.

Beside you, Izuku stirs. He must have sensed your distress even in his sleep. His emerald eyes flutter open, and he immediately reaches out to you. "Hey, are you okay, love?" His voice is soft and full of concern, a stark contrast to the terror that had just gripped you.

You shake your head, unable to form words through the sobs.

Izuku sits up and wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. "It's okay," he whispers, his hand gently rubbing your back. "I'm here. You're safe."

His presence is like a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. You cling to him, burying your face in his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "I... I had another nightmare," you manage to choke out.

Izuku's grip tightens, and he places a gentle kiss on the top of your head. "I'm so sorry you're going through this," he says. "I wish I could take all your fears away."

You look up at him, his green eyes filled with such genuine worry and love that it makes your heart ache. "I just... I keep dreaming about dying or being kidnapped. And sometimes, it's about mom... It's always so real."

Izuku nods, understanding the depth of your fear. "Nightmares can feel incredibly real, but I promise you, they’re not. They're just your mind playing tricks on you." He strokes your hair, his touch calming. "You're here with me, and I won’t let anything happen to you."

"What if I can't get rid of them?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

"We'll work through this together," Izuku assures you. "Maybe we can try some relaxation techniques before bed, like deep breathing or listening to calming music. And if it gets too much, we can talk to someone who might be able to help more."

You nod, feeling a bit more hopeful. "That sounds like a good idea."

Izuku smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that way that always makes you feel a little better. "For now, let’s just focus on calming down." He shifts, reaching over to turn on the small bedside lamp, casting a soft, warm glow around the room. "Wait here for a moment."

You watch as he gets up and heads out of the room.

Moments later, he returns with a glass of water. "Here, drink this. It might help you feel a little better," he says, handing it to you with a reassuring smile.

You take the glass, sipping the cool water, and it does help to steady your nerves. "Thank you, Izuku."

"Of course, my baby" he replies, sitting back down beside you. "How about I read to you for a bit? Something light and happy."

You manage a small smile at his suggestion. "I'd like that."

Izuku grabs a book from the nightstand - a collection of feel-good poems that you both enjoy. He starts reading, his voice steady and soothing, lulling you into a state of relaxation.

As he reads, you find your body gradually unwinding, the remnants of the nightmare fading away like shadows in the morning light.

You don’t know when you fall asleep again, but the next thing you’re aware of is the gentle touch of Izuku’s hand, still holding yours, and the sound of his steady breathing. You feel safe, wrapped in his warmth, and for the first time in what feels like forever, the nightmares don't return.

You wake up to the first light of dawn filtering through the curtains, feeling more rested than you have in weeks.

Izuku has his arm wrapped around your waist from behind. "Good morning," he whispers into your ear, noticing you're awake. His smile is soft and loving.

"Good morning," you reply, squeezing his hand. "Thank you, Izuku."

"Always," he says, pulling you close for a tender kiss. "I'll always be here for you."

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #154

It rained today!! It rained for only like 2 seconds pretty much, and the puddles weren't big enough to jump around in. But once it was done and over with, it still left the whole world sparkly and smelling really nice! J and I went out on a walk, and I got some really nice pictures for you today!! And I took a short video of the rain for you, too - y'know… just in case you haven't experienced it in a while, and… maybe you miss it sometimes…

…If you haven't had a chance yet, I hope someday you'll make it a point to enjoy a warm, fresh rain. When it's warm out and it rains, if I'm not busy then I like to go outside and run around! I wonder, if you were here, would you run and twirl around in the rain with me? Would you go tromping through puddles? And if we found a particularly big puddle, would you try to splash the water at me with your feet?

…No, you wouldn't have to try very hard at all, would you? If we got into some kind of a splash fight in a puddle, you'd definitely have me beaten, ahahaha! I probably wouldn't be able to splash you at all, so quick and agile you are on your feet!! But I don't mind; if you're happy and laughing, that's the most important thing!

Oh, right!!! I still have to show you the pictures I took! One sec…

Here's some of pollen swirling in puddles:

...And I managed to snag a really nice one of a bumblebee this time!!

Here's some sparkly drops of water on a leaf!

I... can't explain why I thought this one was interesting. But here:

And there was a windchime!!!

Sparkly water drops on flowers and on some blades of grass...

This... might be lavender? I'm not sure. But I thought it looked nifty against the brick house...

I definitely have no idea what most of these are. BUT THEY'RE VERY PRETTY!!

...Ivy growing on a house...

The sky shining through some trees...

...And one of the sky just... being sparkly, as it does:

I'm not entirely sure why, but J decided to take a couple pictures of me while I was getting pictures for you, too, hahaha! But who knows, maybe you'll like them...

...This is unrelated to the rain, but I also found a poem today that I thought to send along to you, just in case the reason I write these letters is somehow still not clear:

...And, I found another one, too, that pretty much perfectly sums up what you have done for me:

...Don't lose sight of the fact that I am still here, existing in the way that I do, taking lovely pictures, and trying my best to create joy and love and beauty in my world despite all the obstacles, because YOU exist. Everything I do is from trying to emulate the kind, gentle softness that I saw within you over two decades ago. If you can look at me and see someone lovely, please understand: I am not special on my own. I am simply a mirror, reflecting YOU. Please try your best to see how beautiful and wonderful and good you are, okay?

That's it for today, methinks. I'm probably gonna grab a soda and rest a little now.

I love you. I'll write again soon. Please stay safe out there. Please don't disappear. Please come back to us...

Your friend, Lumine

[simpingcowboy]

Circles

Pairing: Frankie Morales x GN!Reader, established relationship, no use of Y/N

Word Count: 900+

Warnings: description of mental health episode, disassociation, allusion to selective mutism, allusions to death (?)

Summary: Your boyfriend Frankie helps you manage a mental health crisis (happy ending I pinky promise)

A/N: Hi! This is alot more experimental and poetic than most of my work here, but I hope you enjoy! Inspiration taken from John Donne's poem A Valediction: Forbidden Mourning of which I've written a short explanation of the borrowed imagery here :) Can be read without reading the poem! All you need to know is that this is referring to a drawing compass not a directional compass. As always I tried to be mindful of warnings but please let me know if I missed anything!!! Thank you <3

Twin Compass

"Where are you Baby?" Frankie called to you.

"Everywhere." Burdened with all the terrors of the past. Under the crushing pressure of the future. Pinned to the present like a pinned butterfly, slowly letting life leave its body. You couldn't lie if you tried. Everywhere. You were everywhere.

"Can I be everywhere with you?" He asked, slowly breaching your space. Careful not to make any quick movements.

You manage to lift your head from the pillow. Barely peeking up at Frankie, through your tear stained eyes. Everything ached. It felt as if your heart itself weighed too much. Leaving you helpless and alone on your bed, head tucked into a pillow, knees curled into you.

"Baby…" you cried for him, beckoning him near you.

He continues to move slowly, not wanting to startle you. "I'm here. I'm right here." Frankie sits at the head of the bed.

Instinctively, you move to put your head in his lap. The rough fabric of his jeans rubs abrasively against your cheek. Frankie lets his hand travel to your back, rubbing up and down your spine with each rigid intake of air you take.

"In and out. Just keep breathing." He reminds you.

"Frankie-" you choke out.

"Shh it's okay Baby. I know." And he does. For he's been here many times before.

'A compass' you once said. 'We're like a compass.'

The Fixed Foot

Frankie would stay as long as you needed. He'd feed you. Wash you. Tend to you. Care for you in whatever way you need. He would be here. Or there. Or wherever it was you needed him the most.

It was ritualistic, the ways in which he watched over you. Your breathing. How much you ate. How much you drank. Everything was dutifully monitored by Frankie. He could not always ease the suffering of your mind, but the body you inhabited he could care for until you returned.

You knew how he felt. Lowly. Helpless to stop your aimless wander. An undercurrent of anxiety cautioned his every move. During the worst of it, he'd wonder if you'd ever come back. In the quiet moments, you'd hear him plead to the empty air that you'd return. And you would. As you had so fatefully before. As you knew you always would.

"Frankie?" You called to him, still in that far off spot in your mind.

He tilts his attention back to your face, your eyes still heavy with tears, "Yeah, Honey?"

"You…don't have to-" You whimper meekly.

Frankie cut you off with a smile with a solemn nod. "I know." He responds, "I know."

No matter where you were, Frankie would follow. Though right now he knew you were far far away, he still hearkened after you. Leaning into the darkness with you. He believed it his duty to remain firm for you. Frankie would wait. A million days he'd wait. You would return and when you did, you'd need a safe place to land. Need a home to return to after your treacherous journey.

'You make no show to move'

The Traveling Leg

Even in the vase emptiness, Frankie remained. A lingering figure out of the corner of your agony. The one you circled and circled. Orbiting his existence. Entrusting him to bring you back to where you'd begun. Your agony. Your love. Your joys. Your sorrows. You offered it all to him. Each time, against all odds, he stayed. With no ulterior motives than loving you, he stayed firm.

Still- you both were powerless to stop your aimless wander. So, you'd cycle. Sometimes minutes, often hours, occasionally days. Your mind being dragged through a million days already lived, weighed with the concern for the next million you'd be expected to have. Trudging from one state of existence to the next. Everything felt a blur, emotions only half-felt. Your body suspended in an alternative reality all together.

Frankie's would hum, a fact you usually found endearing now merely reduced to a meaningless buzz void of any discernable pattern. In the far recesses of your mind, you did know the song. A part of you can recall. Subconsciously, you hum along with him. Between sobs and desperate murmurs, you hum. And Frankie knows, your love's not endured a breach- but an expansion.

And then you'd hear it. That call. Time to come home.

'When I obliquely run'

The Circle

Slowly you'd feel it. The circle, nearly complete. A hunger. A pain. An ache. The need to stretch. A desire to go outside. And tea. You always wanted tea first.

"F-Frankie?" You mumbled, readjusting to using your voice again. "Tea?" You ask in a hushed voice, eyes much clearer than they'd been before.

Frankie perks up at your request, relief settling into his old bones. "We can get tea. Come on, Baby. Let's get you some tea." He'd say, moving you both steadily into the kitchen.

Together you sat. Drinking tea. Stretching. Frankie takes a tissue to clear your face of the remaining tears. His big brown eyes meet yours. And he's so grateful. To have you. To see you for who you were, and not all the things you believed yourself to be. But his praise would have to wait another day.

"Where are you, Baby?"

"Here. I'm right here, Frankie." You nuzzle your head into his neck. The scruff of his beard tickles your cheek.

"And I'm right here with you." He said, a subtle smile steadily growing across his face.

'Your firmness makes my circle just

And makes me end where I've begun'

[moths-in-the-attic]

Angel for Earth by Angel of Earth

Hi minna,

My name is Earth Angel, but I found out later after I started using it and some people got to know me that someone else already was using it on ASMR. So all my fan fiction and poems on here will be under Angel of Earth. This is my first fan fic so please understand if its not the greatest. Please email me with your comments.

So from my understanding next I put in the disclaimer and my thanks. This story is about Sailor Earth and the Sailor Elements. Thanks to Lady Archanna for putting this up. To Cassy, Alishie, Patrick, Adam, Katie, Madonna, Brittany, Jess, Megan, and Sam, and the rest of my friends from school, love ya. To the rest of the ASMR chat. Sere, Mad, Aurora, Soul, MMJ. Love ya all.

For part one: Hey everyone. I'm so happy to see my first story up. I hope you liked the first part. I kinda drew a blank at how to do this part, but I managed. So I hope you like it. Please e-mail me. I'm using the Japanese names. Also I need Chad's and Greg's too. I you know please e-mail me. Oh and I forgot this takes place after Sailor Moon S.

For part two: (12-24-00) Happy Holidays. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please e-mail me. So far I would like to thank the person that has e-mailed me. Thank You, Marilyn and Amy for writing! Thank You again LA! I still need to know Greg and Chad's Japanese names. Please email me. I'm sorry its short. Santa brought me an early Christmas gift, a fever. I was running a temp of 102.4 on Friday. So I'm not feeling my best and I don't feel like writing much, but this is the only day I can get it in before the deadline this week. Plus, I have some company coming tomorrow and the next day so I have to clean house. My room is a MESS. I DONT WANTTA CLEAN!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

For part three: (12/29/00) HI MINNA!!!!! This is a longer chapter. It might have been longer but I have company and I wanted this out this week because the first few chapters were short. I hope you like it. There is some thought in this chapter so I used *s to show when someone is thinking. I know that they introduce their names backwards in Japan, but I don't care I'm writing it like we do here in the U.S. I hope to start writing from Terra Rose's view soon. But there has to be some mystery in the new girl. Hahahahahahahahah! Cliff Hanger. I know I hate them too, but it's a good way to get someone to come back next week. It was just a good place to stop. I was going to put more in but not enough time. Next week find out how Motoki and Terra Rose know each other. And if I have enough time to get chapter five out find out how Ivy and Terra Rose meet and what Ivy really is. PLEASE EMAIL ME!!

For part four: (1/1/01) WARNING READ THIS: I'm writing from Terra's perspective. Flash Backs are in third person, and there are a lot of flash backs. This chapter I decided to do Terra's past in. If anyone here has not figured out already that Terra was the girl in the prologue and that she is Sailor Earth, now you know. There is a reason that Terra Rose calls herself Rosie in her mind. You'll find out now. All the new characters will have American names. I just don't have the greatest sources when it comes to Japanese names. And on the note of names, Terra's first name isn't Terra Rose. She does have a Japanese name. I'm just working on it. I'm not making much sense. It'll all work itself out in due time. Please e-mail me. Thanks to the five people who emailed me. I have tried to reply to those that have written me. If you never got my letter or got one too many letters, I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time sending emails through my Sailor Moon address. Email me. PLEASE!! My mailbox is hungry. That's it. For this chapter.

For part five: I know that this chapter and the last are small. I've been busy and I rewrote chapter 4 and 5. I had it all worked out and then changed it. So I'm kinda short on words. I was going to put Motoki in Alex's place, but then I thought that wouldn't seem right. Of course then the next part that you are about to read never would have happened. But anyways on with the show. That's it. I know its not much. But the end of the week has come so fast. I've been busy with play rehearsal and I don't really know what to add. I'll have 6 in next week.

For part six: (1/14/01) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I didn't make the deadline to have this out last week. But I've been busy. SO I WROTE A LONG CHAPTER. I ran out of memory even though I started another story, and I'm going to be co-authoring another story. Plus I have finals and play rehearsal, so please understand. And if you want to yell at me for starting another story and not getting this chapter out sooner, go ahead. I hit a block so I wrote the other story at the beginning of the week so I could work out this story in my mind. Please read my other story. And email me to know what you think. My stories will be going up at another site I'll give you the address. I don't know if you'll be able to read the chapters sooner there or what. Please email me and let me know what do you think. In this chapter you get a new character and get to find out a little about what is in those books of Terra's and some of the history of the Elements and their princess. You also get to find out what Ivy is. Yes, I know she is a shapeshifter but that isn't what she is exactly. My stories are also going up at www.prettyserenity.com Another thing is that the rating is changing. This story started out kinda slow and now we are getting into the darker side of things. Please, if you're a younger kid, bail out now! Please don't Flame me. I haven't gotten any yet, but I did get a AIM that said, and I quote: "You're stupid". I'm sorry, but that is a stupid remark. You know who you are. Please don't AIM me again. I MISS YOU SUNNY!! All of you that got to meet Sunny in the chat room, she says write to her at her Sailor Moon address. She can't get to the other one. Hey, if anyone ever wants to talk to me you can find me on Talk City Chat in the ASMRchat. My name in there is Earth_Angel_001, I haven't been there lately, but I plan to start coming more. There is more. SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS LONG! This chapter makes up for missing last weeks deadline. I was wondering, what do you think of what happened in the last chapter. How do you feel about Solar Flare. Do you guys know who he is yet??? Cuz if you don't I won't go giving it away so soon. I'm going to be bringing in some new characters soon. Email me. Also sometime I realize that I put in the senshi's English names and if you see them in the story I'm sorry. I'm just use to using the English names. I'M STARTING RIGHT WHERE I LEFT OFF! Terra's point of view and everything. The maze in the last chapter was important.. I shouldn't give hints like this, but I can't help it. You won't find out why the maze was so important until later on in the story though. That is it. I don't have the time to add anymore. I will have more next week. Who do ya think Solar Flare is? Just email me and tell me please. For next week I hope to have a new character in. I HOPE. No promises.

For part seven: (1/29/01) Gomen. I didn't get this chapter out last week, people. I didn't even start it until Sunday. Major writer's block. I had three options and I didn't know which one I wanted to write. Today you get a new character and has Usagi found someone to replace replace Mamoru? I'm not sure if I have to do this, but I don't own Mr. Wonka. I really wish I did, then I could have all the chocolate in the world and be on a major sugar rush with all my friends, then again my friends might take the candy away from me. I can get a little to hyper. I have only gotten one reply on the: "WHO DO YOU THINK SOLAR FLARE IS?" question. Its a very important question. I need to know who you think it is because it helps me decide what's going to happen next and how long I should wait to tell you his identity. So what do you all think? :::Hehe::: ya get it??? Please tell me you get it. Actually the whole blowing up the lab experiment is true. I did that last year in IPS. Nobody wanted to be my lab partner after that. I was burning the stuff in the test tube with the thermometer and I just let the thing burn even when there was hardly nothing in the tube and the whole thing just blew up. Glass flew everywhere, smoke came billowing out and it made such a noise the science teacher in the other room came running in. Alright, I'm sure you don't want to hear this...back to the story.

AN: I describing Terra's room because I'm bored. I was going to call Solar Flare the Sunlight Knight, ya get it? I wanted to be original though. Also, hehehe.. breeches, such a funny old word. I prefer pants, but hey it was the olden days. Also, also, can you smell the rain? I can and I can also feel when its going to rain. Not in my bones or anything. Its just a feeling. I'm just curious how many people can smell rain coming. Email me if you do. And DON'T THINK SECRET GARDEN when Terra runs away! Sports, the thing that bonds men together no matter what the differences, sports bring them together it seems.

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon belongs to it's creator and all those companies that bought rights to it. Sailor Earth and the Sailor Elements are mine and anymore made up character that happen to come up along the way. Now on to the show.

Angel for Earth Prologue Rated G By: Earth Angel / Angel of Earth Email: Earth_Angel_001@sailormoon.com

Originally on moonromance.com

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Prologue

A small girl about the age of three or four, with short, spiral midnight black hair and eyes as black as night was being wheeled into a hospital on a gurney. Tears streamed down her face.

"Where is my brother? What happened to my parents?"

But still the people over her would not answer.

"Where are they? Tell me?"

But they remained silent.

Her eyes refused to stay open and she slipped away into sleep. Later, she is in a hospital room. The doctors enter.

"I'm sorry to tell you that your parents didn't make it. You were lucky you came out with a few bruises. Since you have no know relatives you will have to live in an orphanage."

Tears fall freely down the little girls face, "What about my brother?"

At this the doctor looks at her funny. "Sweetie, you don't have a brother."

The girl's eyes widen, "I do too have a brother! I do! He saved me. Your lying! You just want to separate us!" The girl falls down sobbing on her bed.

"You'll leave for the orphanage tomorrow. I want to run a few more tests."

[spectres-fulcrum]

Two Hours and the Chess Board had Toppled(Rough draft?)

(I wrote a poem about last night! It's very rough still, but things are still very rough regarding the situation at work. If I screwed up chess metaphors I know NOTHING about chess.)

You checked the chess board and

Once again retired your piece for the summer 

Last summer was a pawn now you’re our queen

Still a pawn I guarded your spot the best

I could-quietly but defensively

Only got to know your bishop's right hand pawn

When we thought he stabbed you in the back

But he wasn't on the other side of the board

The board was perfect last night 

I was secretly crumbling but I'm just a pawn

Walked in today and within two hours

The chess pieces had been moved

The queen on the other side of the board had shown herself

It was always those in the comfy chairs behind the closed doors

Your rook stormed out and his pawn followed

The queen forced my bishop to topple

A knight and hid in her tower of cowardice

And with your bishop gone and mine

Used as a pawn for the other side and I

Trying to keep her calm I never

Saw him coming

Out of the darkness and into our queen’s

Spot that had been left momentarily defenseless

His head held high, a smug smile blinding

No one clapped, but he held your stolen crown

And the chess pieces were moved

I play out potential moves

Of having a queen promised

And one on the board

If your piece comes back into play

His will become a pawn again

With no bishop, the past four months

would be for naught

As if we didn't improve the board at all

However, my bishop needs a rook to follow

And they all encourage me to suggest the open 

Spot on the board to you they begin to tell me

Why you'd be perfect and I finish their sentences

And list reasons they don't even know

But still-

For me to suggest the spot directly behind me

I must accept that the words in my throat

Must be buried deep until I leave the board

I don’t want you like your King of Hearts has you

But in the quiet of your absence I know you’re 

The only friend I never want to be without

And I daydream of a partnership with you two

Where I can safely express these words

Where I know your King of Hearts

But it’s never been about me

And the truth is we need the protection of

A rook, the queen tried to knock over our 

Most vulnerable pawn

So over sweets I’ll swallow my needs

And say the words everyone wants me to say

Never truly getting what I want from our friendship 

And then I will wait to see the dominoes fall

And see if your piece returns to the board

Or if it never returns and then I can start 

Shuffling my cards

(So long story short: At my job, each department has two levels of management, one department lead and those below them. I had a ex coworker turned friend come back as department lead and then he went on a medical leave. His role in the highest on the floor, and the most stressful. Since he's gone, everything fell on his lower manager, who walked out yesterday due to one of the office people pulling shit.

They promoted a guy an hour later that said "higher manager or nothing." Very messy but he also deserved that promotion MONTHS ago. He stepped down because they wouldn't give it to him. Very torn. He says if my friend wants his position back he can have it but I know that'll be hell to pay. (I am incredibly happy though to have good old guy back as manager)

My department's higher manager position is open and it's way better for my friend. I KNOW that he'd do well. But I also have alterous feeling for him and desire a queerplatonic relationship with him and I'm totally cool with his bf existing. And if he's my direct manager, well... I'm also just worried about what that would do to our friendship.

And some other shit. Like my manager(who has been a manager for2 weeks, we’re close too) had to tell another manager that higher management terminated her after her shift Thursday cause the office managers are cowards. They also are removing someone from the position they've worked for 4 years cause "they're not full time" they've never been full time they're not full time because they're on supplemental disability. It reeks of ableism and it's why we need a higher manager to protect us. Like M is why I'm swallowing my feelings.

All this happened within 2.5 hours last night. It was a nightmare)

[naughtsonidhi]

Adiós hermoso viaje!

Well, here we are about to finish another 365 days, 5 hours and 59 minutes on Earth. Congratulations! for triumphantly eating and excreting, great job you mortal creatures, keep going y'all.. aight chill I'm not going to start ranting about my philosophical frustration (I'll save it for next time). I'm here to tell you that I'm equally glad too, this year was perhaps like a blessing in disguise.

When the year started, I made few terrible and good resolutions, lets keep the terrible ones aside and go through the good one (Yup, there's only one), I planned to finish reading one book per month, and let me tell you about some of them, also please note that I'm no Bill Gates, I am not trying to tell you that you should read them too, the only reason I want to share about them cause I am kind of overwhelmed by how I stumbled upon these good books.

Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari : I read 'Sapiens' last year and was blown by the history and evolution that Harari explained to my naïve mind, but this one slapped my leftist beliefs, he articulately brought a bigger picture of human civilization, right from religions to politics, Harari fed me so much of perspective.

The Prophet by Khalil Gibran : I remember reading this one in almost two days cause it was short. I wasn't amused though, it was poetic and full of wisdom but I couldn't consume enough or was very rigid to grasp his simple writing.

The Old Man and The Sea by Ernst Hemingway : Hemingway was long due on my reading list, finally had my hands and mind on it, good story but I felt I was too old for fictions.

The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus : I can keep talking about Camus all day but for now lets keep it short, so this one was a gift to myself last year, it took three damn attempts to reach the actual essay of 4 pages, Camus gave me hard time with all the details he connoted on philosophical suicide, but since then I've managed to imagine Sisyphus happy.

21 Lessons for 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari : I bought a cheap original hardcover book, and damnson! it was totally worth it, Harari questions everything, morality, faith, future and our actions and he does it so gracefully. Also, I feel so proud for keeping up with all 3 major works.

Treads : A poetry book from Surat's Moonstruck Café, a soothing read. I don't know how I ended up being into poetry but poems are intricate way of expressing and poets are humans full of notions. This book had wonderful sketches and illustrations, felt like an ode for the eyes and heart.

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant by Eric Jorgenson : I must tell you, I was hell skeptical about this one, my homie and I had been to Kitab Khanna and he offered me to pick any book I like, it was on him, so like a crazy Camus fan, I searched the whole place for his work and was disappointed to hardly find any, so he ended up by picking this one, when I completed this one, it felt like a breakthrough of my life, it was truly good.

Free Will by Sam Harris : On my solo trip to Jaipur this year, I stayed at Zostel and I found this book in their shelf, although I had carried a book already in my bag I couldn't help my self from picking this one, I literally held my self from sleeping that night, I thought I could simply complete it before I left (which I did), so that I wouldn't have to buy it later (yeah so gujju of me). This one was a bit nerve opening (hah! if you know what I mean), the scenarios that Harris presents are unanswerable, we (humans) are truly complex in nature, also yes there is no free will biochemically.

The Power of your subconscious mind by Joseph Murphy : Back in 2019 my biological brother gifted me this one, I kept procrastinating to even start, I feel so stupid for not considering as a decent book, but this year I wanted to get it off my list, and when I did, it felt like a relief, it was like a band-aid on my scar and as I believe, better late than never. I am just glad I could finish it with an open mind.

So, yeah I'm only 9 (books) down this year, people often tell me I seem like a person who reads a lot, but that's barely true, I just attempt to, cause books give purpose, there is so much to learn, feel, and fathom. I was adamant on reading self help books and so far was engrossed with philosophical ones, but here I'm open to all of it out there, so this year even though I couldn't keep up my resolution of reading 12 books, I feel like I've still made it. I also tried reading Orwell's 1984 and Shakespeare's A Midsummer's night dream and even Julius Caesar but I put them down from halfway, maybe when the right time comes I would complete them.

So to all my homies who share, suggest and encourage me often. Right from reading Aeon essays together, to gifting me great books, letting me share books with a note on it (that's my absolute favorite thing to do), also, sharing articles, passages, quotes' and even standing by me when I buy books, I'm grateful that y'all exist. Also to someone who is probably living in minus 3 degrees, my muse for reading and my reading list is inspired by you, so if the universe can conspire my message, I'd thank you.

Its been a wonderful journey, each book has mended me, held me, questioned me and consciously changed me.

[runnning-outof-time]

Devotion | Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: no - part of @sunsetmourners ‘s 300 followers celebration

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: (Y/N)’s by Tommy’s side from the beginning, and she has every intention of staying by his side for as long as she can.

Warnings: smoking, language, familial argument, mentions of war/ptsd

Word Count: 2130

A/N: let me start off by saying that I loved this idea for a celebration. The poem I chose to base this story off of is called ‘Devotion’ by Robert Frost. It’s a short poem and is included in the bold letters within the story. Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

"The heart can think of no devotion,

Greater than being shore to ocean..."

Right from the moment she met him, (Y/N) had been devoted to Tommy Shelby. Whether it was through defending his name in front of her parents (who thought she was too good a girl to be with a boy like him), or making sure that he had someone to talk to when his family problems became too much for him to bear. She was there for him, and he could count on her.

And as they got older, they grew closer. So close that not even the Great War could dull what they had. (Y/N) waited for him. She wrote to him constantly and prayed for his safe homecoming. After three long years of waiting, her prayers were finally answered. Even though the man that returned to her was noticeably different from the man that left her on the very same platform, (Y/N) still decided to stay devoted to him.

Her parents didn't like her decision. They would have much rather seen their daughter with a respectable man — one who managed to dodge the draft and was now spared of shell shock and trauma, but (Y/N) didn't want that. She wanted the man whom she had waited for. The man who was now home with her once more. So, to finally show her parents that she would not be heeding to their wishes, she decided to move out of their home and into Tommy's. He happily accepted her, feeling a bit more content now that he had someone around that would be by his side, always.

She was in the middle of washing the dishes when the door opened and slammed shut. Before she could question who it was, it opened and slammed shut again.

"You need to get over yourself, Thomas," it was Polly; the woman who was like a mother to the Shelbys, and who ran the business while the boys were at war. By the sounds of it, she wasn't happy.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean, Pol?" Tommy's voice held no positive emotions either.

The both of them came quickly walking from the entryway into the main area, where (Y/N) nearly dropped the dish she was drying at their sudden entrance. "You need to do what's right for our business," Polly continued, staying at the far side of the room while Tommy continued stalking over to the doors that separated the living quarters from the betting shop.

"I am doing what's right for our business," he answered in a low voice, trying to keep his anger in check.

"Keeping those stolen guns is not what is right for business...it'll get us all hanged," each word that Polly uttered held more anger than the last, and at this point, (Y/N) was standing shocked watching the intense verbal tennis match unfold in front of her. "You know I kept this whole bloody enterprise afloat while you boys were away at war," she added in, reminding him of the feat that she'd accomplished.

"Yeah? Well we came back, Pol," Tommy answered, his eyes wide as he spoke, "we all fucking came back, and I've assumed leadership now. Arthur handed it over to me; couldn't fucking handle it. And this is how I'm handling it," he told her, the tone of his voice showing that his statement was not up for discussion. He grabbed hold of the green doors' knobs then and held them for a moment before he turned to face the woman he was angry with, "and I don't want to hear anymore comments about the war, eh?" he told her, his eyebrows raised once more. "It's over. Shut the door on it," and with that, he was gone.

Polly let out a long sigh once it was just her and (Y/N) in the room. She shook her head and moved over to the dining table, sitting in one of the chairs as she pulled a cigarette out of the tin and lit it. "Why are you so devoted to him, (Y/N)?" she asked, finally speaking after a few moments of silence had passed.

"He's good to me, Pol," (Y/N) responded as if it was the easiest question she'd ever been asked.

Polly scoffed at her answer, shaking her head slightly as she blew the smoke out in a thin line. "Yeah? Well you're about all he's good to...the bloody idiot that he is," she commented, her demeaning words making a frown form on (Y/N)'s face.

"Don't speak like that about him, Polly. He's good to you as well," (Y/N) immediately stuck up for her partner, "and how low is that of you to say such things about your nephew...after all that he's done for the family in this short amount time," she then took a moment to criticize the other woman's word choice.

Polly gave the younger woman a pointed look. She was surprised that (Y/N) had it in her to respond in such a way. But she couldn't be angry at her for doing so. She knew of the connection that she and Tommy had. It was one that was rare; (Y/N) knew him like no one else did.

(Y/N) held her steadfast gaze on the other woman. She hated to see the animosity that had been stacked up against Tommy seemingly from the second he returned home. The worst of it came from his own family too. They didn't understand the reasons why he was making the decisions he made, and they often got mad at him for them.

"You need to speak some sense into him...since he listens to you when you speak," Polly said after a few silent moments had passed. "He cannot keep those guns under his possession...he needs to dump them."

"I'll speak to him, Pol," (Y/N) nodded her head, the slight smile that formed on her face showing the older woman that she was on her side and that she'd see what she could do. Polly only nodded before (Y/N) got back to drying the remaining dishes.

It was rather late in the evening when Tommy finally came back through the door of his house. He wasn't expecting (Y/N) to be sitting on the couch by the fire. She had a soft smile on her face as she worked on her current knitting project.

"You're still awake, love," Tommy stated once he stopped by the dining table. He took off his suit jacket and draped it over the back of a chair before walking over to where she was sitting.

"Yeah," she answered in a nonchalant tone, still focused on her knitting.

"Not tired?"

"No."

Tommy nodded at her response. "I'm going up to the bedroom," he then told her.

"Ok. I'll be right up," she smiled at him and he nodded before going to the steps.

(Y/N) sat in silence for a few more minutes, finishing what she was working on before she put her things aside and stood from the couch. Slowly, she made her way up the steps, trying hard not to wake Finn, who was sleeping in one of the other rooms.

She walked down the hall and knocked softly on the door at the end of it, letting Tommy know that she was entering before opening the door. She had learned to do this the hard way, when she opened the door to a revolver pointed in her direction. These knocks were only to let him know that she was there, she didn't wait for a response before opening the door and entering the room.

"Hey," she greeted Tommy softly. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, a cigarette perched between the fingers of the hand that was on his knee; bracing himself as he was hunched over slightly. He looked up at the sound of her voice and nodded in her direction, his silent way of greeting her. "You're not dressed for bed yet," she commented as she moved over to the wardrobe and began the process of changing into her night clothes.

"Might go down to the floor again; do the evening tallies...I haven't decided yet," he told her, clearing his throat after he spoke.

(Y/N) frowned slightly as she heard his response. "There's no need for that, Tommy. Stay up here for the night...maybe try to get some sleep," she then voiced her thoughts on his dilemma.

"But..."

"But nothing, love. You deserve a night's rest. Especially with everything you've been doing for us and this family," she cut him off, not wanting to hear his excuse for throwing himself back into work.

"It's still not enough," Tommy mumbled, hoping to keep the words to himself, but (Y/N) heard them.

She let out a sigh as she moved over to the bed. She then sat down beside Tommy and turned her head to look at him. His head was hung, his eyes focused on the ground. Gently, she reached over and placed her hand on his thigh. Tommy glanced in her direction at the feeling of her touch, and he couldn't ignore the feeling he got inside when she smiled at him.

"Polly wanted me to talk to you..." she started, her words making Tommy scoff before he brought the half-spent cigarette up to his lips for a drag. "She told me to speak some sense into you," she paused again, laughing slightly as she recited the older woman's words. Tommy shook his head and sighed, bracing himself for what was to come. What she said next surprised him though. "I'm not going to do that though. I know why you do the things you do, Tommy...I think..." her added statement earned a laugh from him, "I know you that do what you do for this family and that the moves you make are moves that are well-calculated and will hopefully bring us fortune. So I trust you. I have trust in the things you are doing, and I know that you have our best interest in heart," she paused a beat before adding, "I love you," and with that she leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

Nothing more was said as Tommy reached over to the bedside table to stamp out the cigarette in his hand. (Y/N) watched him quietly, hoping that he received her words well. She got her answer when Tommy turned back around and reached out to take her cheeks into his hands so that he could pull her into a passionate kiss. His actions said all of the words that he couldn't, and (Y/N) couldn't help but smile against his lips.

"I'm gonna marry you, (Y/N)," he told her once he pulled away, his voice full of honesty as his eyes stayed locked onto hers.

"Tommy," she breathed, a smile on her face as butterflies fluttered in her stomach at his words. She reached up and placed her one hand on top of his, squeezing it gently as another show of her love for him.

"I'm serious, love. You're the only one who's been in my corner every step of the way," he doubled down on his statement, his eyes searching hers as he spoke.

"I told you from the start, I'm devoted to you, Tommy," she reminded him, smiling so wide that her cheeks were starting to hurt.

"I know, I know," he nodded, a smile forming on his lips, "but I'm gonna marry you. I'm gonna get you a decent ring; make sure that we're settled with the business first. And I'll do it right..." he paused, laughing to himself slightly, "get down on one knee and ask you to be mine for forever."

(Y/N) was trying not to cry at this point, laughing as the butterflies continued to go crazy inside of her. "Since when are you such a sap, Tom, eh?" she joked, laughing again as he reached over to brush a tear off of her cheek.

“This is what you do to me,” he grinned, making (Y/N) laugh once more before she leaned in and kissed him, unable to stop herself from doing so. “Soon enough we’re not gonna have any problems,” he told her once they pulled away, “the tracks’ll be ours and we’ll expand out of Birmingham, maybe even over to the fucking United States,” he laid out his plans for their future.

“I’ll be by your side for all of it,” she assured him, meaning those words with every bit of her heart.

“Holding the curve of one position,

Counting an endless repetition.”

Tagged: @alreadybroken-ts @magicalxdaydream @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @golden-hoax @elenavampire21 @peaky-cillian @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @easilyobessedbutflighty @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss

MASTERLIST

[iwa-ch4n]

pairing; xiao x gn!reader

word count; 1031

description; xiao has always been adamant not to show weakness, emotion or vulnerability. you somehow manage to worm yourself through to him anyway

warnings; none, just some tender fluff with xiao

----

The calm, warm air of the Wangshu Inn enveloped you as you returned after a long day - well, two days - out in the wilderness. Normally, you’d go out for the day and return to your room in the evening, but you had been forced to camp out outside after a hilichurl attack left you too weak to walk and too afraid to venture further in the darkness.

But you managed to get back, and after fending off Verr Goldet’s concern at the cuts and bruises that covered you head to toe, you got back to your room to bandage yourself up and regain your strength, warmth flowing through you as you thought about the boss’s message to you.

“By the way, Xiao has been on the top floor balcony for longer than usual. I get the feeling he’s waiting for you”

No matter how tired you were, you couldn’t deny visiting the adeptus, who preferred to be alone and yet had only objected your company the first time you met. So you made the short treck up the stairs, finding him in his usual spot, leaning against the balcony railing.

"Verr Goldet says you've been waiting for me," you said as a form of greeting, and he didn’t flinch at your sudden voice. He never did. You often wondered if he could sense your presence, or if his hearing was so acute he could hear your soft footsteps approaching.

"I don't know where she got such an idea from," he responded, though not harshly, gaze still fixed on the distant outline of the mountains.

"You don't have to admit it, Xiao. I'm just happy you missed me," you laughed, slowly walking closer to him.

"I didn't miss you. You didn't come back last night, and I was," he faltered for a moment, barely able to accept the emotion, let alone admit it out loud. But he’d started the sentence now, so he resolved to spit it out, "worried."

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you simply leant against the railing next to him, meeting his eyes for the first time that night. He scanned over you, your slightly messy bandages, processing your injuries.

"It seems rightfully so," he continued, turning his head away again, "you mortals are so frail, and yet you constantly pick fights."

"I'll have you know the hilichurls were the ones that picked a fight with me. As well as the treasure hoarders I ran into on the way back," you defended, watching one of his eyebrows tilt up slightly.

"You got beaten up this badly by some hilichurls?"

If you hadn’t known him better, his tone would have sounded condescending, another allusion to human weakness and fragility. But you did know him, and you knew it wasn’t mocking; it was disbelief. You were a capable adventurer and fighter, usually finding no trouble in fighting hilichurls, and you felt a warmth in your chest that he acknowledged this, no matter how indirectly.

"I think I fought more hilichurls yesterday than I have in the rest of my life combined," you admitted, turning to meet his eyes. You watched every subtle flicker of emotion - worry, pain, affection. It always astounded him how you could read him like a book; he had spent millennia building up walls, yet it seemed you’d picked the lock to a door he didn’t know existed and waltzed right in. And yet, when you read him, you never read him aloud. He was not a poem or a play, his emotions not the story of a storyteller. If anything, they were a personal letter, one to read in privacy and stash under your pillow, replying only with your own letter, a look in your own eyes.

"Call me. Next time you're in trouble,” he managed, finally looking away from you. The image of you struggling alone against a crowd of hilichurls made his heart twist and bend painfully, and emotion he didn’t think he wanted to name or understand.

"I'll have you know I can handle myself fine on my own," you replied lightly, ignoring the sting of your bandaged wounds. 

"You could've died," he stated, but with none of the usual nonchalance nor anger with which he usually spoke about death. His voice was soft. He sounded almost pained at the idea. He was so well acquainted with endings, the mortality of humans nothing new to him, as inevitable and unimportant as a tree branch having an end. But you were different. He didn’t want to ask himself why.

"And how will you know when I'm calling you, huh?"

Xiao willingly showing vulnerability was a delicate situation, a tightrope you had just about learnt to walk across. You kept the atmosphere light, offering slight joking comments, encouraging him to continue without pushing him too far.

"Don't concern yourself with that. Just... When you're in trouble, say my name. I'll be there," he insisted, meeting your eyes once again. You didn’t think you’d ever seen his expression so gentle before, and it forced a lump into your throat and a small smile onto your face.

"One condition," you said, and he didn’t have to agree for you to know he was ready and listening. The condition was a risk; you were willingly jumping off the tightrope and praying for a soft landing. But walking the rope showed no signs of getting you to the floor, and your heart was longing to be grounded, "kiss me."

Xiao remembered a great deal of his long life, but he did not remember the last time he moved so desperately, catching his lips on yours. The kiss was soft, only lasting a moment, but it still left you breathless, heart beating faster than ever or perhaps stopped altogether. You stared at him in wonder as he stayed close, your noses only millimeters apart, his eyes scanning every inch of your face in admiration.

"Xiao," was all you could manage to say, barely a whisper against his lips, bringing his attention back to your eyes.

"I'm here."

You knew him well enough to know that that was his way of saying ‘I love you’.

[royadventures]

march 20th, 2022--1:22am and struggling to write poetry

previous log

before i write how these past 3 or 4 days have been, let me explain my song choice ^-^ it's long, so feel free to skip past it~

recently, an old friend of mine, who i'll call Han for now, reached out to message me. i haven't seen her since 2019.. anyways long story short, i think her finding out that i'm in korea prompted the text. she briefly thanked me for being a good friend to her back when i lived in england (she's from there and i lived there for a period of time). i think that was something i needed to hear from her for a long time. i was very insecure for many years after leaving england, always upset that no one remembered me despite me being so upset and caught up in the past. somehow, i managed to move on and heal from this as i met my beloved Leslie and Lorn (♡), but Han sending this message made me weak once again. my heart faltered a bit and i wanted to write some poems, but it's been hard. i guess i have some sort of writer's block? i usually listen to music to get inspired, but it hasn't been working too well.

Sequel by LUCY is the thing that hit closest and brought me near a writing mindset, but i'm still not near it yet. anyways, the lyrics that sing of letting go of a loved one but being grateful for the happy memories and waiting until you can meet again have hit me hard. Han and i grew up as different people in the end, since we were so far apart during our most tender adolescent years, but i know that if she is ever completely alone and in need of someone, i will run to her, no questions asked. she doesn't even have to do the same for me,, i am just so grateful for her friendship when i was in england that i know i can be there for her no matter what. anyways,,,,,,,, this log is dedicated to Han, who put me in a nostalgic mood ^-^ i can only hope she's okay and cheer her on from afar :D

back to our regularly scheduled programming! i must say though that a lot of people who i never talk to have been messaging me and acting friendly now that i'm in korea. also some close people have forgotten about me,, i guess moving away helps you find out who the real ones are ?!

on march the 16th, i had my first day of in-person class! i had to take the bus by myself, but it was okay because i'm already familiar with the route! i take the line 273 and it drops me right outside the front gates. it's relaxing taking the bus, despite the traffic and bumpy nature of the ride. it's soothing to look out the window and to watch as office workers, school kids, people who all have their own lives board and leave the bus. i always wonder where people are headed and silently wish them good luck with their day in my head ^-^

campus was extremely busy. it looks like something straight out of a kdrama!

i was worried about finding my classes, but didn't have much difficulty. i am in woodang hall mostly, except for one class which i have in the polisci and economics building. i usually sit near the front and no one sits anywhere near me... is it cause i'm a foreigner? am i smelly?!

it was so much easier to learn in-person. particularly my korean class, which i have with T, was a lot better in person. no breakout rooms, seeing everyone!!

it was hard to make friends on the first day because i was nervous. at the end of the day, i tried to talk to someone in my contemporary literature class, but they had to rush to another class. i went outside woodang hall and sat outside to enjoy the nice weather instead, while i waited for T's classes to be over.

someone approached me and asked where the unistore is, and since i had nothing to do, i helped walk them there. i did my best to make conversation!! and i was happy i could be of help ^-^

to be honest, i don't remember what happened wednesday night T.T what did i eat? where did i go after class? i don't recall T.T i think this might have been the day when i had a group meeting? and also went we went to the club fair? (it was in the club building next to woodang and everything was korean, it was cramped and loud so we didn't find much).

the next day, march 17th, i had a 9am class. i was running on 6 hours of sleep and for me, that isn't enough :< by the end of the day, i was very tired. i was falling asleep in my lecture despite being in front row! my professor continuously made eye contact as she spoke,, i'm thankful, since it helped me stay awake!

inbetween classes, i've been going to SK future hall. it's a huge study space with lots of room! i usually sit in a booth on the basement floor ^-^

once my classes were done, i rushed home to help T move into her new room. then, we went to no brand burger to eat before T went clubbing and i went to meet Dami so we could go to a café!

no brand burger is really cheap, around ₩5,000 for a full burger combo set!

Dami and i went to melting pom. i won't lie, it was hard to find, but it was worth it!! there were 2 pomeranian dogs who were so friendly :< when we sat down, they would stand up and scratch our legs, trying to hop on our laps. they also followed us around!

the café has beds that you sit on instead of tables and chairs. the theme is pink and the drinks are pretty! their macarons are delicious :O i had the red velvet one along with an oreo milkshake ^-^

ah, before this, we went to the lotte department store, which had a sanrio pop-up market inside the toys r us there. i bought a photocard collector binder since the prices were so good for the sanrio brand!

after the store and cafè, we parted ways and returned home.

on march 18th, T and i met Dami in hongdae to go to the pink pool café. we were late and i was stressed, but it was all good. of course i couldn't try anything because i'm fasting ;-; but look!

we then went to the main street in hongdae to go clothes shopping. i didn't buy anything because i wasn't in the mood, but i did see this Hyunjin bday ad! as i write, it's his birthday now, so happy bday, Hyunjin!!

oh, stray kids also had their comeback and i really like the title track ^-^

T then parted ways with us to go meet her friends who wanted to go clubbing--Dami and i headed to seoul station to eat at a place Dami has been recommending near her new house (she moved out T.T).

we had bibimbap there, since Dami said it was really good, and i think i just went in with expectations way too high, so i was a bit disappointed :< but it was still good!! it seemed super authentic. they were closing, though, so we had to eat fast!

Dami then showed me her place and it's a lot nicer than our goshi--i'm really happy for her!!

after that, we went to seoul (train) station to go to the lotte mart next to it. it's kinda like walmart :> i bought some hbaf almonds and wet wipes (idk why T.T) and we browsed all over before deciding to go home. we went to mega coffee before we went home tho! i got a mint choco latte,, tasted like a peppermint hot choco hehe so good ^3^

i then headed home and had to attend a career counselling meeting outside the subway station at hyehwa because i forgot about it T.T i'm glad i attended, tho! it was super useful!!

that was it for march 18th! on the 19th, i studied for most of the morning. in the afternoon, T and i went to a café she's been wanting to go to. i think it's called high waist? it was really pricey and each person is required to get a drink, but the vibes were nice!

we then wanted to find a place to eat. it was an area with a lot of tent bars and street foods, many alleyways that were bursting with life, but we decided on a more highend chinese cuisine spot. it was super good! i was just hungry so i ate ate ate heh.

we tried to find a dessert place in the area but everything was closing :< so we just went home to the sulbing near our place since we know it's always open late! we tried a strawberry one this time, and here is my ranking as of now: matcha > strawberry > mango ^3^

we then headed home for realsies!!

today (march 20th) we have brunch plans with a new friend of T's even tho i can't eat cause i'm fasting ^3^ and then i'm going to the Baha'i centre to have eftar with them because it is the last day of the fast! and tomorrow is persian new year!!

i kind of want to celebrate it in some grand way, but there's not really a way to do that here :< so, we're just planning to go to a persian restaurant with T :/ oh well!!

next log

[mother-snake]

I FOUND FREE TIME!! Sorry if this one is a bit rushed Jessie!!

Italics are memories

-----

The first thing a yellow side notices is that his head feels like its being split open. The second thing is that he's laying on a very soft couch. And the third? The third is that he doesn't remember anything.

He makes a slight noise of discontent before opening his eyes, only to have five people swarm him. Talking to him very fast and keep trying to touch him. He tries to curl up only to be unable to move.

One by one the colourful people back away only a dark blue person stayed by him. His lips keep moving but it all sounds like its underwater. Only to clear.

"-us, Janus! Can you hear us?"

His voice is raspy but he manages to respond, "Who's Janus?"

The people seemed to not like that answer, he didn't know why but making someone upset makes him feel like he's in danger, the indigo side didn't react that much.

"You are Janus, that is your name. Do you remember us?"

Janus shook his head.

"Well, I am Logan, Thomas's logic. The red side is Roman, one half of creativity. Green is Remus, the second half of creativity. The purple one is Virgil, he represents anxiety. And the light blue side is Patton. Thomas's morality.

Janus seemed to be taking the information in. Thinking about that one name he said... What was it? Timothy? Tobias? Travis?

"Do you remember Thomas?"

Janus had to stop and think. Thomas... Thomas was their centre. I'm one of his sides. Janus nodded

Logan handed Janus a glass of water, helping him take careful sips. The water felt like heaven, it was cool and soothing. But the heaven was gone soon enough.

"Do you remember your function?"

He squeezed his eyes shut trying to remember. "Deception?.....Or was it self preservation? I- I can't remember."

Logan had a small smile on his lips. "You are correct, your title is Deceit and your function is Self Preservation."

"Deceit... Isn't lying bad? Am I bad? Why does my head hurt?" Janus didn't notice the looks of pain on the others faces because they put those thoughts there.

Logan's smile disappeared. "No, you are not a bad side. You work for the good of Thomas. Why would you think that?"

"Because they told me so."

"Who?"

"..... I don't remember... They wore a lot of black."

"Do you mean the Dark Sides?"

A sharp gasp came from the yellow side. Blood, there is so much blood. Its my blood. Screaming. No, not screaming. Yelling. I'm running, the hallway is dark, the rug keeps triping me, my door lock is broken, I'm hiding... I can feel my breath.... The door to my room is open. Orange. I scream.

Janus is still screaming, he's trying to run but something is holding him down, he can feel someones breath. "Let me go! Please I'll do what you want!" he feels a slight sting in his arm before his eyes get blurry. The voices in the background get farther away as he feels himself involuntarily relax and fall back asleep.

Logan pulls the needle away as Roman, Remus and Virgil all let go of the sleeping side. Worry is blinding them as all of them walk into the kitchen to talk.

"The NopeRope doesn't remember anything. What do we do here?" Roman kept messing with his sash.

"His memory seems to come back with certain prompts or questions. However it seems to have a bad reaction-"

"A bad reaction? A BAD REACTION?? Logan, he was screaming for help while repeating the word no! That is more then JUST a bad reaction!!

Logan sighed, "Virgil, I know that you're worried about him but he does need to get his memory back."

"Does he?"

Everyone was now staring at Patton.

"I mean well, if he doesn't remember what the others put him through and what we put him through maybe he would be happier? He just looks to peaceful while he's asleep that I've never seen him have before."

"He will most likely remember anyway when he sees the scars, we can not hide this from him forever."

The kitchen was now an awkward silence. Until Remus broke it.

"How long till he wakes up, nerd?"

"Should be around 3 hou-"

"He'll be awake in five"

"What? Why five?"

"He's smaller then normal, plus he's not a full grown side yet, so-"

"What?" Patton didin't seem happy knowing that info.

Remus shugged, "he popped up in the gray when Thomas was ten, followed virgil around like a lost puppy next to a railroad. He just grew fangs a few months ago! I don't think they have venom though, bit of a shame. Everything is better with venom.-"

"Remus, getting off track here. Janus is the youngest?"

Remus nodded enthusiastically. "Yep" poping the P, "he was a cute little baby snake! Loved strawberries! The other three didn't like him very much though."

Patton was pressing his palms to his eye sockets. "they burned, beat and tried to kill a child?"

Remus nodded and looked to the ground.

The sides split up to go a few things before Janus woke up again.

When Janus opened his eyes all he could smell was strawberries. A song played in the background. He felt stronger and managed to sit up. He looked on the TV to see a frog singing the loveliest lies of them all.

"Vee! Vee!" Boucing up and down. "Can we watch Over The Garden Wall?" Virgil looked over at the shorter side. "You just watched it yesterday, short stack" even though the yellow side was 15 he still bounced and gave Virgil the puppy dog eyes. Virgil sighed, "Fine. Bring up the episode." trying and failing to sound annoyed. The smaller side smiled even wider.

"Vee?" Janus mumbled under his breathe the name. The side in the memory looked similar to...What was his name? VIRGIL! That was it! Was Vee Virgil? The snake zoned out in his thoughts and the song from the frog. Only to be brought out of it when a light blue side stood in front if him.

"Patton? That was your name right?"

"Yep! You got it in one mr scales!" Patton seemed nice, wait. Scales?

Get out of here you slimy boi! reptilian rapscallion! Snake! Evil! Villian! You are no good for Thomas! Just leave! Leave! LEAVE! LEAVE!

Janus lifted his hand and touched the left side of his face. Smooth scales greeted his hand and old burnt skin next to his eye. Tears started to leak for a reason he couldn't pin point. Continuously touching the scales, stoking over the sharp bottom of scales. Sooner then he thought someone was sitting next to him.

Patton sat next to him and was counting numbers.

1 2 3 4. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Janus didn't know what the numbers where but he followed along anyway.

Soon he could smell the strawberries again. He likes strawberries right? Janus thinks he likes strawberries. When he looks up, Patton gives him a hug. Wincing when his arms touch something on his back.

More and more time passes. With each memory things get clearer. Janus still doesn't know why he can't remember anything. Until another memory happens.

"WILL YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP?" " No! Roman I want to apologize! I'm sorry I compared you to your brother! I'm sorry I manipulated you at the courtroom! I'm sorry I sent Remus to deal with my problems! You don't have to forgive me but ay least listen to me!" Roman growls "FUCK OFF!!" And suddenly, he is back at the dark household.

He needs to get out before the others find him. Who knows what they would do to h- "Ohhh Deceit! So lovely for you to stop by~" Too late.

He runs to his room, tripping on the carpet. The lock is broken. He hides in the closet. Wrath finds him. He's dragged to the dark side commons and chained to a wall for days to become the personal punching bad. Apathy set him on fire, Wrath beat him up and Depression.... Depression did something to his head. He was thrown into the gray after depression had his fun. Then he blacked out

Janus doesn't want to leave his room. He's being punished for wanting to apologize. That seems like bullshit to him.

Weeks pass. People keep knocking on his door, they say that they're worried. What a bunch of liars.

After a month, the sides make Thomas take them inside if the bedroom. After a bit of convincing, Janus tells them everything.

And much to his surprise. They are livid.

------

Beep boop. Thingy done! I hope this thing made sense! Brain is broken atm. This one was inspired by Once Upon a December from Anastasia.

This turned out a lot more fluffy then I originally thought.... Hope ya like it! I need to go write a poem now ❤💛❤

protcetive sides alert! yeah! may i say that this is some quality content? im running out of things to say wihout repeating myself but they are all just so amazing and normaly leave me with energy to write stuff. (sorry im responding to these now, i was asleep when i got them last night and consumed by school fr the past few hours...)

[lokislittlecorner]

!!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!

Why would you do that?

Please don't read this fanfiction if you're easily triggered!This piece just helps me to cope with my feelings and anxiety in general.I don't want anyone of you to feel bad.If you're struggling, you're always welcome to write to me personally. I'm happy to help.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of suicide and cutting, depression, anxiety, Good ending, fluff

Word count: 1700

Summary:

(Y/N) has been feeling terrible the last few days and as time goes on she slips even more into a hole of depression, one day she just wants to give up on everything already writing a letter for Loki...

Notes: Takes place a few years after New York Loki living in the Avengers tower so they could keep a better eye on him, so certain events didn't happen.

You were slowly pacing the floors of the Avengers tower, always looking at the ground scared to face anyone, scared to look anyone in the eyes. What if they judged you? Do they really like you, or do they just pretend to? Thoughts were once again racing through your brain banging on the walls of your head giving you a bad headache.

You knew you had your ups and downs but this time it was really bad and it didn't seem to get better, only worse. Loki knew that you struggled with bad thoughts and feelings from time to time but you tried to hide it from him, just so he wouldn't be worried about you.Sometimes you weren't even sure if he really loved you.

The bad thoughts just kept coming without any reason. You entered the big room with all those beautiful books which always seemed to bring comfort, tears began to creep up on you. You didn't even know why you were crying but you couldn't hold it back anymore.

The library was your safe place no one except for Loki would enter the beautiful place, you loved it when you two were just sitting there reading in silence, those were the times when your mind wasn't torturing you when the thoughts slowed down.

Loki was on a mission with Thor at the moment so you were alone with yourself. It's not that you didn't trust the other Avengers but you liked to keep certain things to yourself.

You wiped the tears away, with the back of your hand allowing to calm yourself, crying wouldn't bring you much now.

"I'm so pathetic" Another sigh escaped your lips as you placed yourself in one of the big comfy chairs, surrounded by big shelves. You picked up the book that you read at the moment "Tales and poems of Edgar Allan Poe" it was a wonderful arrangement of shorts that kept your mind from wandering, at least for a moment.

You sat in the library for hours not even noticing that the sun has vanished from the sky and the moon welcomed the night. I should go back to my room. You thought to yourself. Slowly you crawled out of the chair, putting the book away and heading back to your space.

It was dark in your room except for the moonlight shining through the window there was no sign of light. "So this is my life now huh?" Tears once again crept up on the edges of your eyes. "Alone in the dark"

A dangerous thought came to your mind.what if I would just end it all... You shook your head trying to get it out. No this wasn't an option.

but the pain would go away. No no no, again you shook your head.

He wouldn't even miss you. At that thought, you just... stopped. Maybe he really wouldn't miss you, maybe it really didn't matter what happened to you. The panic began growing in you, breathing became harder hands started shaking. Is this really all there is? Pain?

Your legs carried you into the bathroom that was included in your room, switching on the light you blinked a few times trying to adjust to the brighter surroundings. You rummage through your stuff on the search of something specific, your blades. The panic wouldn't leave you, your hands still shaking it made the searching definitely harder. Then you found it the little box where you kept the things you were after, hidden away from anyone but you. It's been a while. You opened the little chest, blades bandages, and tissues everything was there where you had left it.

This wasn't the first time you felt like this and also not the first time kneeling in your bathroom with the box in your hands, thinking about finally doing it, but the thought of leaving Loki alone hurt you and you couldn't bring yourself to actually do it. This time, however, was different, you didn't know why, maybe because he's been away for 2 weeks now? Or maybe because the pain wouldn't stop?

I should at least say goodbye. Carefully placing the box down on the ground as if something would break, you stood up making your way to the table in the middle of your room.

Normally this little paper stash was for your shopping or to-do list and now you would write your last words on it. The irony made you laugh a bit, nothing made sense anymore.

Hey

I don't know how to write this but I've got a few things I want you to know.

It's finally come to a point where I can't stand the pain anymore, all the sorrow that just won't go away and keeps a tight hold of me.

I love you, I always did and I know that this will hurt you but please try to understand.

I just can't it's too much.

I'm sorry for being so damn selfish, I never wanted to leave you but I can't.

I just can't do this anymore.

Please forgive me, I love you

(Y/N)

Tears fell on the thin paper beneath you.

This is it. You thought.

Back in the bright bathroom, you sat on the floor leaning your back against the tub, with the blade in your hand you stared at the wall in front of you. It seemed like hours when you heard a door and the blood froze in your veins.

"Shit!” Loki was back and you knew he wouldn't be really font of what you just wanted to do. With the speed of light, you hustled back into the main room snatching the paper off of the table. " Hey... how have you been my dear? " He arched a brow at your suspicious actions. "Good, really good. How was the mission?" You said that way to fast and he grew even more suspicious of you. "My dear is there something you might want to tell me?”

He made his way to you, he was covered in scratches from the fights he had to endure, a dark expression on his face. " No..." Your sight wandered back to the floor, hiding the letter behind your back. "What do you have there?” his voice made you jump a little, you felt like prey hunted down by a wild animal. You shook the head signalizing that you definitely not wanted to know him. A sigh escaped him " My love tell me what's wrong" again you shook your head. "Little one, you better hand over what you're hiding there or"

He leaned down to you his lips inches away from your ear you could even feel his breath against your skin "I have to take it from you" your heart sped up at the sound of his voice. "Please Loki, you don't want to know what it is" "Oh I definitely want to know what it is" and with that, he snatched the letter from you.

You tried to get it back but he was way too tall and you couldn't reach it if he didn't want you to reach it. He began to read and his face shifted to a worried expression pain written on it.

Your heart clenched at the sight of him especially when you saw tears well up at the wrinkle of his eyes. "(Y/N) why would you do that?" He threw the paper away. "Answer me!”

he raised his voice slightly you could hear that it was filled with panic.

" I can't do this anymore!" You screamed, tears beginning to stream down both your cheeks. "All the pain and - and the thoughts and I-I can't think straight a-a-anymore and no one can h-help me! He made a step forward and took you in his arms. You took a shaky breath smelling his scent of wood and rainy days. " I'm here with you why didn't you tell me? If I wouldn't have come earlier I would've found you here laying on the ground" This broke your heart, he was right he would have found you he would have seen how you laid there in your own blood lifeless and numb. "I'm sorry" you managed to say as you hugged him even tighter. His strong arms embracing you, his chin was resting on your head you could hear his heart and his it hammered against his chest you felt so bad to even think about doing it you could never do it not after you saw his face the pain in his expression it also hurt you.

"Promise me, Darling, that you're never thinking about doing it again" You felt how his arms tightened around you "Please" His voice was quiet and soft, medicine for your damaged soul. You nodded pressing your head against his chest, you could hear how his heartbeat slowed down and he relaxed. He softly pulled away, placing a little kiss on your forehead.

"I'm here and you can talk to me, darling. I don't want to lose you." His voice melted your heart, it made you feel much better, just to know he was there helped.

He let out a sigh "Let's cuddle up watch a movie and calm down" You gave him a small smile, nodding "I would love that"

[taeyungie]

hiiiii~ 🎨 pleaseee? 🥺

SKY YESSSS EVERYTHING FOR YOU! YOU'RE HERE! A REAL QUEEN HAS ARRIVED INTO MY ARMS AAAAAAA I CANNOT WAIT TO WRITE A WHOLE BOOK IN THIS ASK ✨👍❤️❤️❤️❤️ idk i know it's silly but i get so much joy from complimenting you in practicular sjdhsjks you're just the cutest and you deserve all the love AND I'M HERE TO GIVE IT TO YOU AT ALL TIMES!!!! 😌😌😌❤️💕💘💓❤️💕💘 you're really truly the one who carries this site on your shoulders and it makes me so incredibly proud of you because you always work so hard 🥺 YOU MAKE SO MANY PEOPLE HAPPY i couldn't imagine being here without you!! YOU'RE ESSENTIAL, ANGEL. Before i start with showering your gifs in love all i want to say is that YOUR GIFS JUST OPEN MY THIRD EYE AND I HEAR ANGELS SING. DON'T YOU TELL ME LATER AGAIN THAT I'M EXAGGERATING (I'll get to that later on 😤) BECAUSE YOU'RE SIMPLY A GENIUS ✨ your style are one in a million, there's no way i could ever get confused on whether a gif is yours because your gifs are unmistakable!! ONE OF A KIND! you're such a precious baby, always being worried if your gifs are pretty and this makes me want to give you all the love (BUT AT THE SAME TIME LIKE 😤😤🤜👊🤛✊🤛👊✊ HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR OWN GIFS???? LIKE /ONE/ EVEN??????? OH MY GOD) and write essays about your every gifset because every 👏 single 👏 one 👏 of your sets makes me want to write poems NOW MOVING ONNNNN

I'll really have to put this under the cut because oh my god i'm so sorry you might want to get a popcorn on the way because.... yeah

good god i think i need to lie down YOU DROPPED A BOMB AND NEXT SECOND YOU JUST VANISHED LIKE '💆🏻‍♀️😌💅🏻 uhuh goodnight' AKSNDKSJSKSKKSKSKSKD ARE YOU SANE THIS IS INSANE FKANDKDKDKSJSSK THE WAY THAT I SAW THIS CLIP BEFORE AND THOUGHT oh he looks gooood BUT NOW YOU DECIDED TO JUST UH??? PUT SOME OF YOUR ✨SPICE✨ INTO THIS MEAL AND PUT IT ON A PLATE LOOKING LIKE /THIS/???????????????? bro i need a doctor i'm having literal heart palpitations...... WHERE DO I EVEN START 🙏 (warning: a very stupid and corny word-play ahead) he's beauty he's grace he's mr. golden face WKDHSKSKKS BUT REALLY HIS SKINNNNNNNNNN HISSSS SKIIIIIINNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭 THE WAY HE'S GLOWING, PLEASE!!!!!!!!! only you can make them look like this, you pull out in their skin colors everything what's the best, just stunning. next, lips.. oh my goodness, lips. beautiful, amazing, just *mwah*, beautiful, kinda desaturated (which i love in your gifs) red shade. next we have CURVES GAME ON POINT, JUST STUNNING, IF I TELL YOU THAT YOU INSPIRE ME SO MUCH AKSJSJSJSJSJKS amazing blend to the background, beautiful contrast. your gifs make me fall in love with him more and more every day 💔 and i can't leave without mentioning SHARPENING SETTINGS AAAAAAA i love itttt

indeed the cutest pie 😭😭😭 i loooove how you sometimes make your gifs so tall, you know, it's so pleasing to look at and makes them so unique and pretty. I LOVE the coloring here, it's so soft and makes everything look so flawless and light?? because gif itself is a bit dark too and his skin, and light hair are just outstanding but the contrast is so soft that everything is just pulled together nicely and looks amazing! and i love how you just pulled a magenta on me and made his mic look THIS GOOD ahhhh it's THE PRETTIEST MIC EVER 😭

this set is just... yummy 🤷‍♀️ you know???? YOU KNOW i know you know 👏 I'M– so in love with the coral, mustard and soft minty shades of background probably that's why it reminds me just of a good candy 👍👍 to add to that there actually ARE candies on the screen, like 4 of them 👀👀👀👀 again, curves adjustments - *chiefs kiss* i love skin colors and lips, it's something i can't get enough of i just simply want to eat a gif 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

now, we have reached the star of the show. I'll bring back something as a friendly reminder :

you cannot just say it's not the best and then have me just staring at it for five next hours ISLSNSJWNSJSJSNKSSJSJ please PLEASE where am i supossed to start FIRST OF ALL WHICH PARALLEL UNIVERSE YOU'RE LIVING IN THAT YOU MANAGED TO MAKE MAGENTAS LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL I JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW KAJSJSKS i'm really saying this seriously right now but this gifset made me tear up because i notice every single detail and it overwhelmed me to the very ends of my nerve endings KSJSKSK BECAUSE– 😔 skin color, suit color, hair color, lip color, mic color, sharpening, background, lighting, contrast, exposure.... all of it is just so beautifully composed and i don't think anyone could ever make something this amazing, especially looking at raw footage like comparing your gif to video frame it's just.. insane. you have magic hands and big brain that's all i have to say and i think it's truly one of my favorite sets of yours

run episode koo 🥺🥺 first and foremost i wanna notice and highlight how much i love that you just got rid of...... all blue and green KSJDJS LIKE PERIOD QUEEN AS YOU SHOULD ✨✨✨ i was kinda scared to do it on my own gifs and here i have another example of how you're just a genius, not scared of ANYTHING ✊💯💘 and then we can move onto his beautiful, tanned, golden skin and gorgeous red lips. I LOOOVEEEEEE IT SO MUCH I LOVE CURVES HERE AGAIN AAAAAAA I'll literally say it every time because it's the best part of your every set and I'm A COWARD TO MAKE MY GIFS TOO DARK AND DO THE CURVES THE WAY I WANT TO SKDJJSKS so i admire yours 😌✨

this gifset just simply brings me so much joy, it's like drinking a glass of cold water in the middle of the night, it's like feeling a warm gentle touch of sunlight on your skin when the sun is rising, it's like a fresh breeze ✨ again, stunning coloring, i love how you mixed oranges with this pastel blue and beiges you have kinda going there 🙇‍♀️ on its just so so so pretty AND ALSO OF COURSE /THEM/, THEY ARE JUST SILLY AND BEAUTIFUL, NEXT QUESTION

AJSHSJJSDKABSJDKSKKSS FIRST OF ALL THE ✨BONUS✨ IS LITERALLY ME @ YOU AFTER YOU DROPPED OF THIS GIFSET like you know i like this whole situation we have going on here wink wink how old was he in 2015 lemme do a quick math yeah 18 EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD WAS HE AND HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO LOOK LIKE THIS???? yeah no if i was a stan back then we would have a problem you know 👊✊🤜👊🤛✊👊 me looking like.... just nowhere near /this/ good..... at almost 20th year of my life is crying. i love the use of reds and brown here AND OF COURSE CURVES, MOVING ON

🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯!!!!!! THIS SET LOOKS LIKE A HONEY COMB!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ i love how vibrant and bright the background is but you still managed to restore his skin into a perfect golden shade AHHHHHH it's so pretty

NEXT ONE IS DEDICATED FOR USER TAEYUNGIE IDK HER BUT SHE'S SURE DAMN LUCKY 🔊🔊🔊🔊 PLEASE i was so happy when you decided to make this set in the end 🥺🥺🥺 i belive i already screamed lots under the set in the tags but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's amazing beautiful just gorgeous from head to toe (a gif i mean cuz clearly we cannot see his toes SKSJSJSKSJSK) A M A Z I N G coloring, veey warm very soft he just looks like a carmel with raspberry on top (WHY DO I USE SO MANY FOOD REFERENCES SKJSJSKS I'M NOT HUNGRY I SWEAR) BUT NO, FOR REAL. he just looks so cozy here and i wanna hug him so much 😔😔😔 long story short my mind and stomach perform pirouettes because i'm head over heels for this man. AGAIN THANK YOU SM BABY FOR DEDICATING THIS ONE FOR ME ❤️❤️❤️

we're here, we survived till the 10th and at the same time last gifset of this post, TIME TO POP THE CHAMPAGNE ✨ and scream a little but more because HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL I'M LITERALLY FEELING MYSELF EVAPORATING SJSJKSKSKS the contrast here is darker than usual AND I'M LOVING IT it's bringing all his best features also he just looks like a glazed donut which kinda makes me cry (WAIT I JUST REALIZED I AGAIN DID A GOOD REFERENCE SKJSJS WTF) BUT HIS GLOW 😭 HIS GLOW 😭😭✨ just amazing, it's inappropriate how much i spent staring at this set KSJSJSKSK

when i tell you that writing this one took me like... two hours. but it was totally worth it and purely out of love for your stuff. anyway, i deserve a kiss on the forehead 😌

creators send me 🎨 & I’ll tell you my favorite of your last ten creations and why

[danurso]

Eat your words

(Felt like writting something for my OTP, and here it is)

*During yang’s 11th birthday party*

Alexander: so, are you ready big guy?

Jaune: *shaking nervously* y-yeah, i think i am.

Irina: great, now go there and make mommy proud. *pushes jaune forward*

Jaune: o-okay. *walks towards yang*

Raven: what are you two planning?

Irina: ohh nothing much.

Ghira: should we be concerned? Last time you were planning ‘nothing much’ was during the parents reunion on school last year.

Irina: what about that?

Ghira: *deadpans* we found you beating winchester to an bloody pulp because his son pushed jaune from the slope.

Irina: MY BABY BOY HURT HIS LEG BECAUSE OF THAT!! DID YOU EXPECTED ME TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!?

Ghira: *sighs in defeat*

Kali: *sheepishly* just forget about it honey, you know how irina is protective with her kids.

Qrow: not only her, you womans are all crazy when it comes to that.

Summer: *with a cute smile and a dark murderous aura around her* even me honey?

Qrow: *sweating bullets* err...i...i mean that...i...im sleeping on the couch right?

Summer: yup.

Qrow: *sighs* goddamit.

Tayang: *snort* pussywhiped.

Raven: did you say something?

Tayang: *flinches* n-nothing! N-nothing at all, hehehehe...

Raven: *rolls her eyes* thought so. So, are you going to tell us what you’re planning or should we call the ambulance already?

Irina: don’t worry about that, it's just that jaune wanted to say something to yang, i just helped him to choose the right words *proudly* although he was the one who did most of the job on his own.

Alexander: i still think we should’ve gone with my idea.

Irina: *deadpans* if he followed your advice it would be just like our first meeting.

Alexander: *blushes* h-hey, i thought that was pretty smooth okay?

Irina: darling, i love you, but your pick up lines were always anything but smooth, if your mother didn’t smacked some sense into your thick skull we probably wouldn’t be married today. now shut up, he’s about to say it.

Tayang: wait, what is jaune going to say to my little princess?

Irina: shush it already!

...

Weiss: why do i still come to your parties?

Yang: cause we’re friends!

Ruby: best friends!

Blake: and probably because you have no other friends then us.

Yang: that too...now stop being a party wrecker, lets play!

Weiss: i-

Jaune: *nervously* h-hey girls.

Weiss: *rolls her eyes* great, you invited mr.scraggly too?

Ruby: don’t be mean weiss! jaune is our friend too!

Weiss: whatever...what do you want?

Jaune: err...i...eh...y-yang...?

Yang: that's my name.

Jaune: *blushing* t-there's s-something i want to say to you.

Yang: sure, spill it out vomit boy.

Jaune: o-okay. *pulls out a small thorn paper* I-i’ll be the warrior to f-fight for our love.

We will fly t-together, fly higher t-than the dove.

I’ll be y-your wall and shield you from d-danger.

I’ll t-take all the pains, for t-to me they are no stranger.

Y-you’ll be the q-queen in the kingdom of m-my heart.

And t-then I’ll be the k-king, so we’ll n-never be apart.

Y-you’ll be my majesty, I w-will serve you f-forever.

A-and for all of t-the times, I w-will leave you n-never.

My l-love f-for you, for sure has n-no end.

So t-tell me y-yang *blushes even more* would you b-be my g-girlfriend...?

Mothers: awwwwwwwww

Tayang: what the- what does he think he’s do-

Raven: *holding his shoulder tightly* don’t get in the way.

Tayang: *nervously* o-okay.

Yang: .

Yang: ..

Yang: ...

Yang: pfffhahahahahahaha! Where does this poem came from!? Its so cheesy it's hilarious!

Jaune: *deflated* oh...okay...sorry...i-i thought you would like but i guess i was wrong... *starts to walk away while tearing up*

Yang: but i did like it.

Jaune: w-wait, reall-

Yang: *kisses his cheek* yup, i loved it.

Jaune: *blushing* s-so that means...

Yang: i would love to be your girlfriend.

Jaune: r-really?

Yang: *nods*

Jaune: okay...i-i’m really happy...j-just give me a moment so i can- *passes out*

Ruby: JAUNE!! *kneels besides him* WAKE UP!! DON’T WALK TOWARDS THE LIIIIGHT!!!

Weiss: are you really going to date him, as like, your first boyfriend ever?

Yang: why not?

Weiss: yang, he’s an avid nerd, he’s always talking about x-ray and vav, he has no motor coordination, he’s short, ugly and is scraggly as a stick, why would you even consider this idea?

Yang: He’s a nice friend, and i think he would do a great boyfriend.

Weiss: *sigh* it's your funeral, im not going to say anything about it.

Yang: careful weiss, you’ll end up eating your words like this.

Weiss: i highly doubt that.

*on the beach ten years later*

Ruby: WEISS!! *tackles weiss*

Weiss: LET GO YOU DOLT!!

Ruby: NO!! I MISSED YOU!!!

Blake: let her breathe ruby.

Ruby: *pouts* okay... *lets her go*

Weiss: *sighs getting up and wiping the sand out of her* five years, i’ve been out for only five years and this is what happens when i get back?

Ruby: *still pouting* you shouldn’t have picked a college so far away from us.

Yang: well, at least you had the decency to show up in our family barbecue.

Weiss: it was the only opportunity i had, final exams will start next month so i need so relax a bit before digging back in the studies.

Yang: wow, you learned how to relax! Are you sure you’re really weiss?

Weiss: shut up you idiot!

Blake: it's her, absolutely.

Weiss: please, don’t start you to- *phone goes off* No. Way. In. Hell. *turns phone off*

Ruby: who is it?

Weiss: neptune.

Ruby: your boyfriend?

Weiss: ex-boyfriend, caught him cheating on me a month ago.

Yang: wow...it must be tough, i'm sorry for you ice queen.

Weiss: *sigh* don’t be, i knew i shouldn’t trust him. Men are all the same, you can’t trust any of them.

Yang: nah, not every man is like that.

Weiss: really? So you never had to deal with an asshole of a boyfriend before?

Yang: nope.

Weiss: so you never really had any problems at all? Wait, forget about it, you used to date jaune when we were kids so of course you had problems.

Yang: i actually never really had any problems with him.

Weiss: are you serious right now? Just the fact that you used to date him already counts as several problems.

Yang: not actually, jaune was always the perfect boyfriend. He was really shy in the beginning but he got a lot better with the time.

Weiss: forgive me if it's hard for me to believe in that.

Yang: it's okay ice queen, every group of friends needs their sceptic one right?

Weiss: *rolls her eyes* right...i never really asked you, but how did you two break up? Was it long after i went to college?

Yang: *grins* who said anything about me and jaune breaking up?

Weiss: wait...don’t tell me you’re still dating him.

Yang: okay, then i won’t tell you that i’ve been in a happy and healthy relationship with him for the last ten years.

Weiss: ...i can’t believe in you, how did you managed to stand besides that short, ugly and scraggly idiot for so long.

Yang: because i really love him, and well...the fact that he's not so short, scraggly or ugly anymore does help a lot.

Weiss: what do you mean with tha-

Jaune: *hugs yang from behind* hey there sunshine.

Yang: hey there ladykiller. *turns around kissing him*

Jaune: sorry for the late, my sisters were trying to convince my dad to get a new grill and throw the old rusty one away.

Yang: it's okay, i don’t mind.

Jaune: ...weiss? Its you? It's been awhile, how are you?

Weiss: *frozen staring at the tall, handsome and defined blonde wearing swimming trunks, a tank shirt and standing before her* w-who are you?

Jaune: it's me, jaune. You don’t remember me?

Weiss: o-of course i remember you! But when did you got so...so...

Yang: *with a grin* Hot? Handsome? Stunning? Sexy?

Weiss: *blushing* tall.

Jaune: *sheepishly* i think it came along with the age, i didn’t noticed until yang pointed it out.

Weiss: *still blushing* h-how didn’t you noticed that!? Anyone can see it clearly but you only noticed when your girlfriend pointed it out!?

Yang: ex-girlfriend ice queen.

Weiss: w-what!? Didn’t you just said that you and him were in a healthy relationship!?

Yang: and we are, but im not his girlfriend anymore *grins showing her a diamond ring* i’m his bride.

Weiss: ......YOU’RE WHAT!?!?

Yang: i actually wanted to talk to you about this, our marriage is going to happen in about seven months, and i wanted you to be one of my bridesmaids since blake already is my maid of honor.

Weiss: ......i-i really don’t know what to say.

Jaune: just accept it, yang really wanted you to be one of her bridesmaids.

Weiss: i’ll think about it, its too much information for my brain to process in such a small amount of time.

Jaune: take your time, you have seven months to think in a answer.

Weiss: r-right.

Jaune: now if you excuse me, sun challenged me to an surf competition and i need to show him who’s the king of the beach.

Yang: okay, i’ll be cheering for you.

Jaune: thanks sunshine.

Yang: no prob handsome *leaning against his chest* now be sure to win okay? If you do, then you can be sure that the title of ‘king of the beach’ isn’t the only reward you’ll gain today~ *winks*

Jaune: *blushes slightly* okay, then you better let this reward ready, cause i'm not losing to anyone right now.

Yang: thats what i wanted to hear *slaps his asscheek* now go there and show him who’s boss!

Jaune: yes ma’am! *takes off tank shirt and bolts towards the water*

Weiss: *blushing and staring at his perfect chest and abs*

Yang: *chuckles*

Weiss: *blushing* w-what’s so funny!?

Yang: it's nothing, i'm just thinking about a stuck up girl i met several years ago, and that always said a lot of bad things about jaune, but now she’s drooling all over him. Isn’t that funny?

Weiss: *blushing more* IT'S NOT!!!

Yang: ready to eat your words now? I said you would regret, didn't i?

Weiss: SHUT UP!!! I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT BIG STUPID IDIOT!!

Yang: hey! Jaune is not stupid nor idiot *with a perverted grin* although i will admit, he is big reeeally big.

Weiss: *atomic red* i hate you...so fucking much...

Yang: love you too ice queen, but now please take your eyes out of my future husband’s abs, the only one allowed to ogle at them is me.

Weiss: *angry embarrassed noises*

[ladyjaneasher-blog]

Hey I came across Philip Normans book and as I'm not familiar with him I was wondering what was wrong with him as a lot of people seem to dislike him

short answer:

pictured here is philip norman writing anything ever.

long answer:

i honestly don’t know where to even start, dear anon. it would be easier for me to list what isn’t wrong with philip norman. i can’t tell you what people as a whole dislike about him, but i can tell what i dislike about him. my immediate kneejerk reaction to your question was this poem of norman referencing paul published in the sunday times in the early 70s:

O deified Scouse, with unmusical spouseFor the clichés and cloy you unload,To an anodyne tune may they bury you soonIn the middlemost midst of the road.

to paraphrase a comment i read on heydullblog a while ago: nothing like a biographer hoping for the speedy death of one of his (later) subjects. 

it exemplifies my problem with norman: he’s made a living out of holding a grudge for the pettiest reasons. he envied paul, not only because he was “good-looking” (and boy, does he veer off into paragraphes about paul’s “doe-eyes”, “angelic” “delicate features” only “saved” from girlishness by his “five-o’clock-shadow”) but also for his “mounting riches” and his dating of “a classy young actress”. his envy turned into outright dislike for paul. norman saw paul’s failed relationship with jane as his “public sense of duty” weakening; he blamed paul for the end of the beatles, felt that he had turned into a “self-satisfied lightweight” and you can almost feel his satisfied glee whenever he feels that paul’s life veers of its “perfectly polished-rails”.    

i’ve read a few books by norman – most recently paul mccartney: the life – and excerpts of others, and each time i’ve come to the same conclusion: norman comes across as a very peculiar mix of a self-importantance, jealousy and nastiness. much like other authors of his caliber – sounes comes to mind – he seems to have been motivated by these emotions that had left him embittered enough to write books, rampant with confirmation bias, one-sided accounts, mistakes, snipes, digs and disproven or outdated anecdotes, hardly offering any new insights. yet i don’t want to dictate how you think about norman, so i present to you some pearls of wisdom by our dearest of beatles biographers to make up your own mind about how much he’s on the mark – or how far off:

“Barrow later discovered that when they’d signed their management contract, Paul had told Brian that if the Beatles didn’t work out, he was determined to become a star on his own.”

‘[And] unlike John (and Brian), Paul did not seem to have any half-concealed demons to deal with.’

“Over the next six years, Barrow would realise that the inexhaustible geniality Paul showed the world was not always replicated in private.”

“[…] Frieda Kelly[…]” (throughout the entire book, I might add)

“With the Beatles brought a radical change of image, illustrating the vastly altered demographic of those who were now with them. On the Please Please Me album cover, four cheery, unabashedly working-class lads had grinned down a stairwell at EMI’s Manchester Square headquarters, with Paul’s good looks barely noticeable. Now they were shown as solemn, polo-necked faces half in shadow against a plain black background, less like pop musicians than a quartet of Parisian art students. It was an ambience which suited none of them better than Paul, that one-time art student manqué.”

[1968/1969] “John had always been recognised as an uncontrollable maverick, but being a Paul fan involved a strong feeling of proprietorship. Like so many tut-tutting aunts, the gate pickets now observed the change from his former dandified, fastidious self; the bushy black beard, the perceptible weight-gain, the baggy tweed overcoat he seemed to wear all the time. To the fans, it signified how ‘she’ [Linda] had got her hooks into him; what it actually signified was that he was happy.”

[1968/1969] “His [Paul’s] personal life thus replenished and stabilised, he now turned his attention to replenishing and stabilising the Beatles after their ordeal with the White Album.”

“Knowing now just how much McCartney meant to Paul–and feeling a twinge of compassion for one who’d never before invited such an emotion–Ringo talked the others into reinstating its 17 April release.”

In the same week, Stella’s first collection for Chloé was shown in Paris with the help of her ‘mates’ Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell and Yasmin Le Bon. Paul and Linda were both seated beside the catwalk: he [Paul] in the novel position of applauding someone else, she still with close-cropped hair, the result of prolonged chemotherapy, which gave her face a new gentleness and repose.

The order of [Linda’s] service was as meticulously planned and arranged as a McCartney album tracklist.

However, when the Beatles made the Decca tape, Best had still been with them, so was due a share of royalties from ten tracks used on the Anthology. The first he knew about it was a phone call from the one who’d been so keen to get rid of him [Paul] –the first time they’d spoken since it happened.

all of the above quotes – and keep in mind: these are just a select few that i had at hand from a book that spans around 800 pages of much the same quality of writing – are from paul mccartney: the life, published in 2016(!!!). while norman proclaims to have had a change of heart over the years from his previous assessment of paul in shout!, which he in the very same breath during promotion claims wasn’t really anti-paul:

…it rings hollow. to the point of where i’m not the only one wondering about how much he truly means his words, and how much of it is simply trying to save face in light of his waning monopole on being an authority when it comes to beatles history. he still heavily relies on the same old tired clichés: paul the master manipulator of all around him lacking heart and substance, paul the ambitious starlet ready to sacrifice everything and everyone, determined to make it big, paul the stingy boss of wings, paul the borderline abusive husband to linda’s dichotomy of easy american groupie vs fraught shy housewife trying to escape her domineering husband by way of her career as a photographer and writer. some of them may perhaps contain a kernel of truth, but norman seemingly lacks the ability to acknowledge nuances and the willingness to dig deeper, search for other viewpoints, or consider context. 

he still uses every other opportunity to get his digs in no matter how macabre it may be in the light of events he’s referencing as evidenced by his description of linda’s funeral procession; he, at times, solely relies on people with questionable motives like peter cox for entire chapters without questioning a thing they are saying, or letting the reader hear other voices to provide a more balanced view; he lacks the insight into his subjects as portrayed by his claim that paul’s weight gain and drastic change of looks from ‘68 to ‘70 was brought on by being “happy” with linda or his equally outrageous claim of ringo never having felt a “twinge” of “empathy” for one of his closest friends; paul and john’s relationship is reduced to a rivalry that even to john’s last breath was defined by one-upping each other. although, is it perhaps no wonder considering that paul mccartney: the life seems to be mostly a copy/paste job of his previous books (here a part of shout!, here a part of his john biography).

the less said about shout!, published in the early 80s, the better. suffice it to say that during its promotion, norman titulated john as “three-quarters of the beatles”. yes. i repeat: the less said, the better. it’s only sad that this book helped shape entire generations of authors that would buy into norman’s narrative and perpetuate it decades later.

yet my excerpt of philip norman’s books simply don’t do the man’s tastelessness and scope of grudge-holding justice. for your reading consideration i present you philip norman’s letter to paul from 2005 as well as his obituary for george harrison and his complete dismissal of ringo from an interview in 1987.

to not let this already too long post end on such a note, i feel obliged to throw in this quote by mark lewisohn, who was partly motivated by norman’s… skill, to research the topic on his own:

Mark Lewisohn: “I came to meet Philip Norman. He wanted to meet someone who was a kind of studious Beatles fan, if you like. And when we met it became clear that there were certain areas of the story he was unclear of. There were certain areas that were cloudy. And I said I would research them for him. I was 21 and he said, yes, that would nice. So I still had a job, but in my weekends and evenings I did this research for him. I was so intrigued by the findings, that I just carried on after that. I gave him what he wanted and then carried on researching and I haven’t stopped to this day.”DK: “By the way, what do you think of his book, Shout!? I don’t mean to be putting words into your mouth, but your intent, I think, is to correct a lot of mistakes that have become fact as a result of other people’s biographies of the band. Could you bring that into perspective?”Mark Lewisohn: “Well, when I was less mature, I did want to correct other people’s errors. Errors always offended me, particularly when they resulted from laziness. And I had always wanted to correct other people’s errors. But I’ve grown up, a bit, since then, and with these three books I’m writing, I’m not interested in correcting anything. I’m just telling the story from the beginning. I am starting fresh. And along the way, I am debunking myths right, left and centre. But I am not pointing out what they are, because it is not relevant. Shout!, when it came out in 1981, just after John Lennon was murdered, was the second Beatles biography, with the first being the Hunter Davies biography which came out in ‘68. And it was reckoned by a lot of people to be better than the Hunter Davies book. And because I am in it, and because I was young, and because I was blinded to it, I thought it was a great book. And a lot of people do. It is so stylishly written, and all of that. But the older I’ve got, the more I see where I can no longer agree with my original opinion. Well, Philip Norman came up to me at a recent event and said he professed himself unhappy with some of the things I’ve been saying about his book, so I need to be delicate here. But I do think that it is out of date. It left scope for the job to be done again. That book has had 30 years in the sunshine, but it is in no way the definitive book. I am hoping to write the definitive book that is a lot more comprehensive and is also much more deeply rooted in research.“

mark lewisohn: beatles researcher extraordinaire and classy thrower of shade.

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hey! So sorry for replying late, a lot has happened these past couple of days D: but I hope you've been doing good! (I say as if I've been gone for months aksjdf) anyway, yeah, they're definitely scary. I think it'll be worth being able to be that soft and open with someone though. And I'm glad it did have a positive impact on you! Even if they were hard you came out stronger or wiser in some way. And thank you, you're so sweet :') So do you hon ❤️

hey honeymoon! sorry for taking my time to respond, i hope everything’s been alright with you! 

(2) Terushima really does just seem like a big dork who loves volleyball haha. I feel like his initial vibe would make me not want to interact v much lol but once you get to know him he's actually a good person. and that tongue piercing tho 👀. "that one definitely hurts a lot more than Falling does" then I think I'm good for awhile hahaha. I've already read a sad hospital AU so I'm going to stay FAR away for now. Honestly I wish there was an interesting story behind it but there's not :')

(3) basically I had an art blog and the name of it was kind of a pun with the word "honeydew." but that nickname was already taken and I wanted to be ~original~ sso I didn't want to use it lol. I still liked the honey aspect though and I thought Honeymoon sounded cute. I'm also kind of a secret hopeless romantic and at the time I kept my identity on my art blog a secret, so it kind of felt like an "alter ego" of mine? long story short I liked the nickname and it kinda stuck haha

ok i mean, to be fair, he was super aggressive when he was meeting kiyoko. but i definitely feel like there’s that dorky side to him LMAO.

oooof idk if I can handle any angst rn tbh so i can definitely relate 😭 

that’s honestly such a cute story though??? like, that’s literally so freakin’ adorable. what type of art did you use to do? (and honestly girl, this whole blog is on the DL and i tried super hard to keep it hidden from my life LOL).

there’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though! it gives you a chance to day-dream hehe 💞 what’s your favorite romantic trope? it could be as cliche or non-cliche as you’d like! 

(4) "i’m sorry for being a sadistic fk 🥰" 😀 something tells me you're kind of not LOL (really though I know you're sweet and don't actually want to hurt people akdhf) and honestly I'm glad you decided to expand on it! Chapter one is also great as a standalone but I'm so grateful for the rest so far, and you're doing an amazing job with it love 💖 I understand the chara x chara thing. I don't know if I've ever actually shipped anything to the point of me /wanting/ it to be canon

(6) like, it'd be cool if it was, but I don't actually care y'know? unless it was actual romantic tension built up in the movie/book/series. Fanart and fic is what mostly got me lol. I think the HQ fandom is super diverse/creative in its shipping. Not only because of an incredible story with great characters, but great fans and creators as well. And yes! someone else who likes KuroIwa!! I think that ship is really cute (and they're my top 2 faves so I'm biased haha) have you seen neutinya's art?

i swear i’m nice 💞 thank you so much for the love!! 🥺 i’ve been having writer’s block for a bit, and your comments have honestly motivated me to write so much more for it LOL

i definitely agree though, like, i can’t aggressively fight for one ship over another because it’s literally just not canon. it just feels wrong to “shove that agenda”, so to speak. but it’s always interesting to see all the different character combinations. i never would’ve imagined half of the ones out there if not for this fandom LOL

neutinya’s literally why I have a thing for KuroIwa!! LMAO. i really like the art that they put out. same with bright_stars_45 on IG. Their stuff is literally why i ship Bokuaka soooo hard. 

(7) (did I skip 5?) I really hope I'm numbering those right it's 12:30 am here lol. anyway, it's probably a good thing you weren't in the fandom then. I don't know how it is now, but it was p chaotic and toxic and there was actually controversy surrounding one of those fics. I'm sorry about you and your sister love :( I don't know if you'd ever want to have a strong one with her but I hope you do if you do! and if not then there will always be people you share that with, blood or not 💕

LOL you did skip 5, but it’s okay bby 💖 it’s not too serious tbh. i’m not really close to my family, so i’ve always believed in the “my family is the one’s i choose, not necessarily the one’s i’m blood-related to” :) 

(8) Piglet has always been my fave, but Eeyore and Lumpy are also great. do you have any favorite characters or ones that mean a lot to you? and that's really cool too!! I know being mixed can get super complicated but knowing you have all of those cultures in you in some way is pretty amazing. Honestly I've been undecided for the past 2 years but after everything going on in 2020, I've felt this need to release the truth? no matter what that may be. I know a lot of people say journalism 

(9) isn't an honest profession but, and this will sound arrogant, I want to change that. Even if that just means me being an independent journalist while being an editor to make a living, I'm okay with that. Also it can give you the opportunity to travel, and writing has always been my strong suit. socio is so I can have a better understanding of the world and learn to be less biased and more objective and understanding. What about you? :O

my favorite Disney character is honestly Tiana from Princess and the Frog! her hard-working story is hella relatable to me, and it inspired me to be better for myself if that makes sense? 

TBH the most annoying part of being mixed is being called eXoTiC by guys who are tryna sleep with me 💀 there’s definitely a lot of fetishization about it lol

i hella respect that! the need to release the truth. journalism is honestly a raw and authentic profession that people underestimate because they read from biased sources or the things they read isn’t accurate. i have mad respect for you for following that career path! if there’s anything i could do to help, lmk love 💖 TBH, i chose business because i wanted to open my own business and i love psych because i love understanding the world and the people in my lives. psycho-analysing is one of my hobbies hehe. so similar as to why you did socio!

(10) and yes!!!! tbh I've always liked theatre but was never really one for the stage. I was in a child friendly version of macbeth in 6th grade and that was it lol. In my senior year of high school I performed a slam poem about my depression and my teacher called me emotionally constipated lmaoo. and because of how hs went down for me I never got to take classes anyway. I started getting into sfx/film makeup though and I really want to do that! I also just love the energy of backstage tbh

(11) this is getting really long akfdjh. but yeah I want to learn more! I'm actually kind of struggling in my stage management class right now because I honestly don't know much about theatre so it's overwhelming. I haven't even seen a lot of shows (I did see The Lion King when I was a kid though!! and a few hs productions). enough about me though, what's your favorite part, or what are some of your best memories? I love seeing that it makes you so happy :D

omg i’m so sorry that your teacher called you that. that’s so inappropriate, especially considering the subject matter. i hope that you’ve had a more positive experience involving your work since then. if you ever want to talk about your struggle, please feel free to reach out, ok? 

you must be pretty talented with makeup though! that’s so cool 🤩 i’ve always admired sfx and people who are talented with makeup tbh. what’s your favorite part about it so far? 

i was fortunate enough that my hs had a super talented theatre program that i could be a part of. i had the opportunity to be in both tech, management, and on-stage. i honestly really enjoyed being behind-the-scenes in the management part! it was so great seeing a production from start to finish and knowing that i was involved with that process. i’m a huge theatre nerd tbh 😅 i love watching shows like Phantom of the Opera, Hamilton, RENT and I’ll routinely watch them haha.