#a picnic date w you by the river will fix me. i am so sure of it <3 <3

[ashstfu]

ash im listening to ur new playlist... did u make it for our valentine's date by the river?.. (i love it so much<3)

i did amal <3 i make every playlist in hopes for you to listen !! kiss kiss kissing u

[miraclewoozi]

VERSACE ON THE FLOOR. -l.jh

ooh, i love that dress but you won’t need it anymore –

Or, the time you and your homebody boyfriend* decide to just… not go to your dinner plans.

pairing; lee jihoon x fem reader. content; fluff, suggestive (MINORS DNI). established relationship. warnings; relatively warning free (y'all i didn't even swear???) but just in case -- a couple of dorky jokes, reader wears a dress, makeup and heels, making out, undressing. let me know if i've forgotten anything. w/c; 2.4k (apparently i am in my shorter fic era? party.) note; if there's one thing i'm gonna do, no matter what day of the week it is, it's be disgustingly delusional about jihoon. get ur dentists on speedial, it's a tooth rotter (/j). note 2.0; i've had this one in the drafts for so long i had forgotten all about it! but then VOTF came on shuffle a few days ago (and i started thinking about light a flame woozi at the same time, which nearly fucking killed me), so. here we are. enjoy.<3

You don’t go out for dates very often. Not anymore, at least.

When you and Jihoon first got together, he took you out all the time. For dinners, to cocktail bars, to the movies, for walks down the beach, picnics by the river. It didn’t matter where you went as long as it put a smile on your face — all he ever wanted to do was make you feel special. No expense has ever been too great for his favourite girl, after all; he’s always loved to spoil you.

Now several years into your relationship, you’re a real pair of homebodies. Sure, he could take you out for a four course dinner at an expensive restaurant in the middle of the city, or reserve a table at a pretentious cocktail bar that plays slightly too loud music that’s always just to the left of either of your tastes. Then again… He could cook a nice meal for you to have at the apartment you share, where you can make your way through a bottle of bubbles without one of you needing to stay sober to drive home or else risk your lives in a sketchy cab. 

It’s something you’ve talked about several times, and on every occasion, it’s quite apparent that you’re both very happy with the way things are. If anything, it makes it all the more special when he tells you he needs you to keep your weekend free because he’s making plans, and he wants to whisk you away.

Like now, for instance. The hotel suite he’s booked is gorgeous and you’re perched on the edge of the plush bedding, bent over double so that you can properly fasten your shoes while he finishes getting ready in the bathroom. Now and again, you hear a grumble or a click of his tongue float through the ajar door; every time, you feel a smile play at your lips as you shake your head. He never changes. (You’re so glad.)

“Jihoon,” you call to him softly. You can practically see how he’ll be standing – facing the mirror, on his tiptoes to lean over the bathroom counter and get as close to his own reflection as he possibly can. Pouting as his fingers drag through his hair to try and fix the strands in place just a tiny bit better. “Don’t you dare come out here looking like Sonic the Hedgehog. You know the more you play with it, the more annoyed you’re going to get.”

A few seconds later, he emerges, an eyebrow raised in challenge, an amused grin tugging his lips out of their habitual frown. 

(And lo and behold — his hair looks absolutely fine.)

But the second he sees you, whatever witty comeback he was obviously very proud of dies on his lips, and you straighten up with only one of your shoes secured to your foot, the other just slipped on over your toes.

“Wow,” he says, in that soft, deep, quiet way that he does when you’ve really taken his breath away. You watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows; you see his brow crinkle and his eyes widen, as if he’s trying to see as much of you as he possibly can. “Is that…?”

“Yeah,” you nod proudly, sitting back and smoothing your hands over the dress you’re wearing. “From our first anniversary.”

As his eyes move over you, taking in everything from the way the straps sit on your shoulders to the way the hem lays across your thigh, your own eyes move over him. The top three buttons of his shirt are still unfastened and his tie hangs either side, tucked beneath his collar but not knotted yet. His slacks have been cleanly pressed, a neat, crisp seam running down the front of both legs. Shoes shined to perfection. Expensive watch strapped around his wrist. 

He might just be the most handsome man in the entire world.

“I remember you saying you really liked it, so… I dug it out, special.” 

“You look incredible,” he says. It’s so gentle, so sincere, that you think your heart is about to burst clean out of your chest. Warmth trickles the length of your spine, and it isn’t exactly helped when you realise – only now as he starts to cross the room to get closer to you – that he hadn’t moved an inch since he surfaced from the bathroom almost a full ninety seconds ago.

He shrinks down so he’s rested on both of his knees in front of you, skilful hands moving to help with the shoe you hadn’t managed to lace up yet. every time his fingertips so much as brush against your skin, the electricity in his gentle touches shoots all the way from the point of contact up to your brain and leaves it fogged, impossible to make any sense through the thick clouds of intimacy and adoration. More-so as he smoothly lifts your leg a little and presses his lips once to the inside of your ankle, even foggier still as he trails kisses up the length of your calf towards your knee. 

“Jihoon,” you laugh breathlessly, laying a hand on his shoulder as you feel his tongue press lightly against your skin. He finally sits back on his heels, running his fingers up and down the backs of your legs; he’s successfully managed to hike your dress up a few inches now, too, and he keeps flitting his gaze between your face and your thighs. “We can’t – we’ll be late.”

“We have ages,” he frowns, shuffling closer and trying to bump your knees apart, but you keep your muscles engaged and he doesn’t pull at them that hard, so they don’t budge.

“We have to get there, too,” you remind him. He throws his head back and sighs dramatically. The neckline of his dress shirt seems to open a little more when he looks back at you, drawing your attention down the length of his neck to his bulging chest, and the muscular forearms that he crosses in front of it.

“And this is why we don’t go out.”

“What, because you’re horny all the damn time?” You tease. 

He gently swats at the top of your thigh before soothing it with another small kiss. 

“Because when you look this good, how am I supposed to want to go and eat a steak instead?” 

He grins up at you from the floor, quite clearly delighted with himself for his little gag. You, however, flop back onto the mattress and cover your face with your hands.

“That was so bad,” you chuckle. You’ve been trying for years to not melt to his very specific sense of humour, but it’s all been completely futile. Your reluctant laughs turn to sweet, breathy giggles by the time he lays both his arms across your legs and rests his chin on top of them. You prop yourself up on one elbow to look at him; he’s staring up at your face like he thinks he’ll never see anything as beautiful as you for the rest of his life. 

“Maybe… We don’t have to go out for dinner,” he suggests. “Maybe we can stay in tonight, too.”

“Horndog.” You tsk. But you’re not disappointed at the idea of staying in, either, regardless of whether your teasing implies otherwise. “I knew you’d say that.”

“No — really,” he swallows. You aren’t sure if you can feel his heart beating a little faster where his chest is pressed completely against your shins, or if you’re just imagining it. But the tips of his ears are going pink too, so you think it’s safe to trust your intuition on this one. “I mean-… we don’t have to go. I could-…”

He bites the inside of his cheek before he looks down, pressing his forehead against his arms and hiding his face completely.

“I could do it here.”

He says these words quietly. Mumbles them, really. You aren’t sure if you were meant to hear, or if he was just talking to himself. But either way, it has to be worth a shot to find out.

“What do you mean, Ji?”

One, two, three seconds pass. And… Nothing. 

“Hey.”

You bounce your thighs a little so he’s forced to look up at you, and you can see something swimming in his eyes. Something brewing. He sits back from you and pushes a hand through his hair; a few strands lose their stick to the rest of the main body and tumble down over his forehead. Exactly in the way he was trying to prevent. 

“I could just do it here.”

He says this louder. Clearer. With much more finality. You sit up properly, then, both your hands clasped together in your lap. 

“Do what here, baby?”

His eyes find yours and you sit there for a few moments, unwrapping each other's minds with nothing more than a look and a matching pair of gentle — but slightly concerned — smiles. 

He moves one hand down and slips it into the back left pocket of his slacks. You think you can feel the world around you start to slow. 

When he shifts a leg from beneath him so he’s on one knee before you and presents you with a glittering diamond ring, it stops altogether. 

“Jihoon,” you breathe. 

He glances between the ring and you, biting his bottom lip before he speaks. 

“I had it-… I had everything planned.” He laughs, looking away from your face as even more rising heat becomes evident on his own. “Down to the second, even. But just like you always do — just like the first time I saw you, and just like every time since… You threw me a curve ball and… Somehow, you’ve changed everything. But you made it so much better. 

“I think I was supposed to find you, y/n,” Jihoon says. “I don't know what’s up there, what’s in charge of when we meet the people we meet and why we fall in love with the people we fall in love with. but I know that they were really looking out for me the day you came into my life.” 

You can feel your eyes starting to sting at the corners and you will the tears away, desperate not to smudge the makeup you spent so long trying to perfect. You know he’d love you either way — mascara tear tracks and splotchy concealer and all — but… 

“I am so in love with you that sometimes, it really hurts. It hurts because I know that no one’s ever going to come close — about anyone in the world — to feeling the way I feel about you. I feel bad for everyone, a bit. Because you’re not-… you're not with them. You’re with me. But I wouldn’t want any of them to be with you, because-... and… and if you’ll have me, I want you to be with me forever.”

You don't know when you started slowly nodding along to his little monologue, but you definitely are. You’re not sure when you started holding your breath either, but that’s two for two. He looks up at you, expectantly, fluttering his eyelashes and stuttering out a long, deep breath. 

“Y/n, will you marry me?”

Some decisions, you’ve always thought, are made for you at a cosmic level. Your favourite colours. Your favourite foods. Hot and cold weather people. Loving or hating marmite. A predisposition to enjoying scary movies or being the kind of person who hides behind a pillow. 

This is another one of those. You don’t have to think twice about it — you just know. You know because a great unstoppable force managed to squeeze you together at the perfect moment in time; the ever-expanding universe around you has kept you and Jihoon side by side through everything it could possibly throw at you. 

“Yes.”

Of course you want to spend your forever with him. 

The word leaves your mouth in a whisper and everything flies back into motion. The first black droplet rolls down your cheek. His usually so steady hands fumble with yours to slide the ring over your finger. A perfect fit. You’re hurtling through space and time as he gets up off his knees and cups your cheeks, gently pulling you upright and crashing his lips against yours. You stumble into him slightly in your heels; his kiss is more a chaotic clatter of teeth and giddy laughter than perhaps the intense, romantic gesture he was aiming for, but it’s completely, utterly, unequivocally perfect.

Jihoon’s fancy dress shirt creases under your fingers as you ball it into your fists where the top buttons are spread open, pulling him as close as you can, laughter dying down as he loses himself in you and as you lose yourself in him, right back. He swallows all of your gasps and sighs, hands sliding down from your face to the sides of your neck, until he’s resting a palm on each of your shoulders. A single finger slips beneath one of the straps and he pulls it out of the way, down onto your arm, withdrawing from your mouth so that he can press a series of kisses down your cheek and to your jaw instead.

“Ji,” you murmur, tipping your head back and fumbling at the buttons running the length of his torso, trying and failing to get them open. He chuckles, his other hand coming to rest over yours to stop you. You lace your fingers together, feeling him squeeze. Your heart pounds.

“Let's take our time,” he whispers to you, thumb grazing over your collarbone. “Okay?”

All you can do is nod as he kisses lower, and lower, pressing his lips everywhere he can while he’s still standing. Your neck and shoulders feel ablaze, tickling with the heat of the burning stars his mouth paints across your skin. 

“Need-... Ji, you need to-... call… call the restaurant,” you stutter. “Gotta…. we need to cancel…”

The fleeting sting of his teeth against your throat interrupts you and you’re only aware of him reaching behind you to tug the zipper of your dress down when the material falls completely slack..

“In a minute,” he says, helping you walk backwards until your calves collide with the bed behind you once again. He eases you to lie down on the comforter and crawls on top of you, caging you in with both arms, taking hold of your left hand again.

He looks down at the ring on your finger, his entire face breaking into the most brilliant of smiles. Every inch, from the creases at the corners of his eyes to the paling stretch of his beautiful lips. 

“My future wife needs taking care of, first.”

– no you won’t need it no more, let’s just kiss ‘til we’re naked, baby.

hehe thank u sm for reading!! i hope you enjoyed this bc it was a bit special 2 me. likes, reblogs, comments + feedback are all, as always, greatly appreciated.<3

[everyday-younglife]

Souyowrimo Day 2 - Picnic

(prompts here)

it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you...

should be reading Souyo →

“I was worried it was going to keep raining all day and ruin our plans,” quipped Souji, sipping some barley tea from his cup. “Good thing I thought to pack a tarp.”

“Dude,” Yosuke started. He shifted a little on the blanket, the tarp underneath it crinkling, “I know you were set on having a picnic and everything, but couldn't it have waited until the ground was dry?” He bent over and fixed his shoes, making sure they were on the tarp but off the mud, and not on the blanket, “The Samegawa river too? This is the muddiest place in existence right now.”

Souji leaned and grabbed the bottle of tea, then refilled his paper cup, “Sure, if you want more people walking around. And more bugs.” He put down his cup and lifted the lids to the lunch boxes, one by one. “I made our favorites, so eat up.”

Yosuke's eyes trailed over the several boxes of food, “Fried chicken, meat stew, croquettes, oden, tamagoyaki, salads, rice balls, more meat stew...” He looked back up at Souji, completely flabbergasted, “Dude! This is way too much food!”

“Hm,” he scanned the boxes, “I had Nanako help me, maybe we got a little carried away.”

“Partner,” Yosuke said, a little down, “She helped and she wasn't invited? Poor Nanako-chan... all alone in the house while we eat under the warm sun, fresh air... homemade food...” He sniffed for effect and wiped under his eye, “What an awful big brother.”

He was unfazed, “We'll invite her and everyone else to the cherry blossom viewing next time. I'll make three times as much food.” He shifted his gaze to Yosuke, peering at him from under his eyelashes, “Besides, she's at Junes with Kanji and Teddie right now.”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat, “Then I guess that's fine. I don't mind having, uh, having you all to myself today. I guess.” He shifted a bit closer, putting himself nearer to his partner.

“A date,” Souji clarified, and Yosuke spluttered, but just a little.

“W-Well, anyway!” He near-shouted, then clapped his hands together, “Let's eat! I am pretty hungry!” Yosuke picked up his chopsticks and plate, hovering over the very many things Souji prepared, “Why did you make so much stew, though?”

Souji picked up a plate as well, instantly grabbing a piece of omelette and a rice ball, “Meat stew is your favorite, right?”

“Oh. Y-Yeah, it is! Haha,” he laughed awkwardly, shoving some fried chicken in his mouth. He picked up one of the paper bowls of stew after that; thankfully, it was still warm. Slipping some into his mouth, he nearly moaned from the flavor, “Dude, seriously! You can create miracles in food.”

“I try,” he said, laughing. “The trick to the stew is simmering it for awhile,” he explained, “And everything else is just... practice. I cook more than just our lunches, you know.”

“Do you make your favorite foods too?” Yosuke asked, stretching his legs out in front of him. The sky was getting clearer and clearer as the clouds blew away, the blue becoming brighter. There was still a cool breeze, though, so he sipped the stew a bit more.

Souji froze with his chopsticks to his lips, thinking. “I don't really have a favorite food,” he finally said. “I like most foods I've eaten... nothing really sticks out to me,” he put the plate down beside him. “Whenever I've made food for myself, it was more just to survive than for the experience...”

“Souji...” Yosuke trailed off, leaning closer to him. “I'll... learn how to cook, too! I'll make curry for you or... or something,” he said quickly. “It'll be something you look forward to, like how I look forward to your food!”

He stared at him, shocked at the sudden outburst, but then melted into a warm smile, “Yosuke, I would gladly eat even your first attempt at curry.”

“I...” Yosuke was flustered at his soft smile, even dropped some food on his pants. “I don't know whether that's a compliment or not? I've seen you eat expired food from your fridge, partner,” he grinned and nonchalantly brushed the food off of himself.

Souji placed his hand on Yosuke's, making him visibly shiver, “It's a compliment, trust me. Nothing can ever be as bad as the curry Chie & Yukiko made for us at the campout.” He smiled serenely, like a man who spoke to the Buddha himself, “In fact, I bet it'll be heaven.”

“Souji? Souji! Stay with me!” He laughed, leaning in quickly to peck him on the lips. “Is that better? Are you back on Earth with me?” He asked, threading his fingers between Souji's.

“Mm,” he hummed, eyes closed. “I'm back. Can I have another kiss?” Souji asked, looking at him through his eyelashes again.

“Sigh. I guess if I have to,” he pouted and leaned back in, this time Souji meeting him halfway. “Nn, I'm really glad we had this picnic today, partner.”

Suddenly, Souji pulled him down to lay on the blanket, startling Yosuke and making them both laugh. They laid there for awhile, just staring up at the blue, blue sky. It felt like that one day they fought on the riverbed, not knowing just how close they'd get as partners.

“Me too.”

again, here’s some of my old fics on AO3

i think i’m getting the hang of writing again. thanks for reading!

[timelxrd-victorious]

The Vortex Diaries || Lives Among the Dead

“Reminder: The Library has been breached. Others are coming,” the node said in a male voice as the Doctor and xir companion Donna Noble eyed the doorway to the room they were currently in. “Reminder: The Library has been breached. Others are coming.”

The door burst open (or blew up) in a flash of white light. The Doctor’s eyes could pick up more details about the six newcomers that stepped through than Donna’s: Gallifreyan eyes were incredibly precise and could see into the ultraviolet spectrum. Xe could see that all six of them were wearing spacesuits, the hoods tinted dark. But beyond that…

One of the spacesuited intruders—presumably the leader—strode ahead of the others and walked right up to the Doctor and Donna. Seconds later the polarizing filter was adjusted, allowing the two of them to see her face. Middle-aged, Caucasian, female. Presumably human or humanoid.

She smiled, her gaze fixed only on the Doctor. “Hello, sweetie.”

Xe frowned, reached out with xir time senses. The Doctor knew xe had never seen her before in any previous incarnation and… odd. There was something off about her, something… Ah, well, it didn’t matter.

“Get out,” the Doctor snapped.

“Doctor,” Donna protested quietly.

Xe ignored her and eyed the other members of the strange woman’s team. “All of you. Turn around, get back in your rocket and fly away. Tell your grandchildren you came to the Library and lived. They won’t believe you.”

“Pop your helmets, everyone. We've got breathers,” the woman said instead. For the next few seconds there were hisses as the team released the latches that kept their helmets in place and took them off.

“How do you know they're not androids?” a dark-skinned woman asked.

“Because I’ve dated androids. They’re rubbish.”

“Who is this?” a balding man in what appeared to be his late forties demanded once he caught sight of the Doctor and Donna. He turned to the bushy-haired team leader. “You said we were the only expedition. I paid for exclusives.”

“I lied,” she said, “I’m always lying. Bound to be others.”

“Miss Evangelista, I want to see the contracts,” the older human said.

The bushy-haired woman’s attention was still on the Doctor and Donna. “You came through the north door, yeah? How was that, much damage?”

“Please, just leave,” xe said. “I'm asking you seriously and properly, just leave.” Xe paused as something suddenly clicked. “Hang on. Did you say expedition?”

“My expedition,” said the middle-aged man. “I funded it.”

Xe frowned. “Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists.”

“Got a problem with archaeologists?”

Xe looked at the female leader in exasperation. “I'm a time traveler. I point and laugh at archaeologists.” Xe wasn’t just a time traveler, of course, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Ah.” She smiled and held out her hand. “Professor River Song, archaeologist.”

Xe shook her offered hand, just to be polite. “River Song, lovely name.” Good, now try to get her to leave. “As you're leaving, and you're leaving now, you need to set up a quarantine beacon. Code wall the planet, the whole planet. Nobody comes here, not ever again. Not one living thing, not here, not ever. Stop right there. What's your name?”

“Anita,” a confused darker-skinned woman replied.

“Anita, stay out of the shadows. Not a foot, not a finger in the shadows till you're safely back in your ship. Goes for all of you. Stay in the light. Find a nice, bright spot and just stand. If you understand me, look very, very scared.”

None of them looked very frightened.

“No, bit more scared than that.”

That just got xem a pout and puppy-dog eyes from Miss Evangelista, the presumably pretty brunette with makeup. To be sure, xe brushed lightly against their minds and then withdrew. “Okay, do for now.” Xir gaze shifted to another male on the team. “You. Who are you?”

“Er, Dave.”

“Okay, Dave.”

“Oh, well, Other Dave,” he quickly explained, rambling, “because that’s Proper Dave the pilot, he was the first Dave, so when we—”

The Doctor ignored his babbling and, gripping his arm, led him over to the hallway. “Other Dave, the way you came, does it look the same as before?”

“Yeah. Oh, it's a bit darker.”

“How much darker?”

“Oh, like I could see where we came through just like a moment ago. I can’t now.”

“Seal up this door,” the Doctor ordered. “We'll find another way out.”

Xe turned to join the rest of the team. A few minutes later, during which both xe and Donna had torn up contracts and xe talked about the Vashta Nerada and formed a plan, xe heard River barking out orders.

“Pretty boy, you’re with me. Step into my office.”

Xe ignored her, intent on studying the shadows —and making sure xir own was able to pass for humanoid. Satisfied, xe went over to help Dave with the terminal console.

“Pretty boy. With me, I said.” River sounded slightly irritated now, but xe couldn’t figure out why.

Then it clicked. “Ooh.” Xe turned, pointing a finger at xir chest. “I’m pretty boy?”

“Yes!” Donna caught herself, looked surprised at what she’d just admitted. “Ooh, that came out a bit quick.”

“Pretty?”

Donna shrugged. “Meh.”

The Doctor copied her motion and walked over to River Song. As xe neared her, xe noticed she was taking out what looked like a battered blue diary from her backpack. The cover had eight squares on it, and the shade of blue reminded xem of the TARDIS. “Thanks,” she said.

Xe frowned, confused. “What for?”

“The usual. For coming when I call.”

“Oh, that was you?”

“You’re doing a very good job, acting like you don’t know me. I’m assuming there’s a reason.”

“A fairly good one, actually.”

“Okay, shall we do diaries, then?” River asked, reaching for the book and beginning to flip through its pages. “Where are we this time? Er, going by your face, I'd say it's early days for you, yeah? So, er, crash of the Byzantium. Have we done that yet?” At xir blank look, she added, “Obviously ringing no bells. Right. Oh, picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?” Another blank look. “Obviously not. Blimey, very early days, then. Whoo, life with a time traveller. Never knew it could be such hard work.”

She stopped suddenly, looked deep into xir eyes, xir face. “Look at you. Oh, you're young.”

Annoyance glinted in xir eyes. “I’m really not, you know.” I’m over 6,500 years old.

“No, but you are,” River insisted. “Your eyes. You’re younger than I’ve ever seen you.”

At last, she’d let something slip. Even so, xir eyebrows narrowed. “You've seen me before, then?”

River placed a hand on xir cheek. Xe was still fuzzy at reading human facial expressions, but she seemed… sad, upset. “Doctor, please tell me you know who I am.”

Xe couldn’t. Cool, questioning brown eyes looked into hers. “Who are you?”

Their conversation was broken by what sounded like a ringing phone, and the Doctor pushed the mystery of River Song to the back of xir mind.

*

“That was, that was horrible,” Donna said, her voice shaking as she stared at what remained of Miss Evangelista’s body—a skeleton inside a suit. “That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen.”

The Doctor knew xe should comfort xir companion, but Professor River Song spoke first: “No. It’s just a freak of technology. But whatever did this to her, whatever killed her, I’d a word with that.”

Xe said nothing, then: “I’ll introduce you.”

Back in the main room, xe crouched down in front of a cluster of shadows. “I’m going to need a packed lunch.”

“Hang on,” River said, moving over to her bag and starting to rummage through it. Xe stood, and xir gaze followed her.

“What’s in that book?” the Doctor asked.

“Spoilers.”

“Who are you?”

“Professor River Song. University of—” She definitely seemed cagey now.

“To me,” xe finished, cutting her off. “Who are you to me?”

“Again, spoilers.” Irritation flashed through xem, but xe shoved it aside as she handed xem a tin box. “Chicken and a bit of salad. Knock yourself out.”

Xe took the box in one hand and a torch in the other. “Right, you lot.” Xe tossed the flashlight into the air, caught it as it spun without looking. “Let’s all meet the Vashta Nerada.”

*

While the Doctor was searching the shadows for Vashta Nerada, his redheaded companion went over to River.

“You travel with him, don’t you?” the bushy-haired archaeologist asked. “The Doctor, you travel with him.”

“What of it?”

River paused, heard the Doctor asking Proper Dave to move over by the water cooler before answering.

“You know him, don’t you?” Donna fired off another question before River could answer her first.

“Oh God, do I know that man.” River couldn’t keep the wistful note from her voice. “We go way back, that man and me. Just not this far back.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“He hasn't met me yet. I sent him a message, but it went wrong. It arrived too early. This is the Doctor in the days before he knew me. And he looks at me, he looks right through me and it shouldn’t kill me, but it does.”

“What are you talking about? Are you just talking rubbish?” Donna hissed. “Do you know him, or don’t you?”

Then her gaze flicked over to the Doctor, and she stiffened. “He said to count the shadows, yeah?”

River frowned slightly. “Yes. Why?”

Donna tilted her head in the direction of the Doctor’s shadow. “Did you ever notice that when you traveled with him?”

River’s frown deepened in confusion, but she turned her gaze on the Doctor’s shadow… and blinked in surprise. For a moment it looked as though there was something else in his shadow—not another shadow altogether, but another arm… or maybe a tentacle? Another tentacle shadow joined the first.

Both women blinked, and the extra limbs were gone.

“What the hell?” River muttered.

Donna glanced at her. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

“Donna! Quiet!” the Doctor snapped. “I’m working.”

“Sorry,” she muttered.

Something clicked in River’s brain. “Donna. You’re Donna. Donna Noble.”

“Yeah.” Donna suddenly sounded suspicious. “Why?”

River decided to tell her the truth—or part of the truth, anyway. “I do know the Doctor, but in the future. His personal future.”

“So why don’t you know me? Where am I in the future?”

It was a reasonable question and one River would have asked herself if she’d been in Donna’s position.

“Okay, got a live one!” The Doctor’s voice cut into River and Donna’s conversation, and River forced herself to focus on the Vashta Nerada… and what was up with the Doctor’s shadow.

She’d never noticed the invisible extra limbs when she’d traveled with his future incarnation. Right now, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know if they’d always been there—and if her Doctor had been keeping far too many secrets from her.

*

The Doctor’s keen sense of hearing—far better than that of humans—had easily been able to pick up Donna and River’s conversation about xem. Xe bit back the familiar flash of irritation that occurred whenever someone referred to xem as a man or with male pronouns. I’m not a man! xe wanted to snap. I’m not even human. How long does it take to get that through your thick skulls?

Xe allowed xemself a short hiss of annoyance, felt timelines shimmer and possibilities shift. Then xe made a quick note to take better care of xir appearance—xe had to appear fully humanoid—and not long after xe was explaining to the remaining crew and Donna about the Vashta Nerada after tossing the chicken leg into the live swarm and seeing it reduced to bone within milliseconds.

“So what do we do?” River asked.

The Doctor tilted xir head as xe considered her question. “Daleks, aim for the eyestalk. Sontarans, back of the neck. Vashta Nerada…” Xe turned, looked up at her. “Run. Just run.”

“Run? Run where?”

Xe said something about exit teleports, Donna mentioned the little shop, and Proper Dave started to head towards the little shop when the Doctor noticed something off and said something that made everyone else’s blood in the room run cold:

“I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry—but you’ve got two shadows.”

*

“So, what’s the plan?” River asked. “Do we have a plan?”

“Your screwdriver looks exactly like mine.” Xe eyed her with suspicion.

“Yeah. You gave it to me.”

“I don’t give my screwdriver to anyone.”

“I’m not anyone.”

“Who are you?”

River didn’t respond.

*

“Donna Noble has left the library. Donna Noble has been saved.”

*

River cut a square hole in the wall with her gun and nearly fell through the hole with the Doctor close behind her. “OK, we've got a clear spot. In, in, in! Right in the centre. In the middle of the light, quickly. Don't let your shadows cross. Doctor.”

“I’m doing it.” Xe couldn’t help it if xe sounded testy. Xir annoyance and frustration was beginning to boil over—if this expedition team hadn’t stepped foot in the Library, it would have just been xem and Donna and there would have been far less casualties.

“There's no lights here. Sunset's coming. We can’t stay long. Have you found a live one?”

“Maybe. It's getting harder to tell. What’s wrong with you?” xe asked xir sonic screwdriver.

“We’re going to need a chicken leg. Who’s got a chicken leg?” The remaining Dave handed the professor a chicken leg. “Thanks, Dave.”

She tossed the chicken into the shadows; like before, it became bone before it hit the ground.

“Okay. Okay, we’ve got a hot one. Watch your feet.” River began moving in a slow semi-circle.

“They won’t attack until there’s enough of them. But they've got our scent now. They’re coming,” the Doctor informed what was left of the team.

“Oh, yeah,” Other Dave said sarcastically. Then, in an undertone to River: “Who is he? You haven’t even told us. You just expect us to trust him?”

“He’s the Doctor,” River replied.

“And who is the Doctor?” Lux demanded.

“The only story you’ll ever tell, if you survive him.”

“You say he’s your friend,” Anita said, “but he doesn’t even know who you are.”

“Listen, all you need to know is this: I’d trust that man to the end of the universe. And actually, we’ve been.”

“He doesn’t act as though he trusts you,” Anita muttered to River.

“Yeah, there’s a tiny problem,” the archaeologist hissed in an undertone. “He hasn’t met me yet.”

The Doctor paused in scanning the shadows, whipped xir head around to face the small group. “I’m not a man,” xe snapped, xir gaze focusing on River. “And I’ve been to the end of the universe. You weren’t there.”

Even though River had admitted that their timelines were out-of-sync, she still looked shocked—or so the Doctor thought, anyway. Even now, after all this time, xe still had trouble determining human expressions—sight was a secondary sense for xem; humans’ telepathic abilities were practically non-existent.

Lux, Anita, and Other Dave blinked. “So… are you a woman, then?” Lux asked.

“No,” the Doctor said coolly and turned away, focusing again on scanning the shadows for Vashta Nerada.

River stepped up next to xem. “What’s wrong with it?”

“There’s a signal coming from somewhere, interfering with it.” Xe adjusted the settings on xir screwdriver, couldn’t help but extend xir time senses and seek out all the possible outcomes of this conversation.

“Then use the red settings,” River suggested.

Xe looked at her with a mixture of incredulity and what are you talking about? “It doesn’t have a red setting.”

“Well, use the dampers.”

“It doesn’t have dampers.”

She held up a bronze-colored sonic screwdriver. “It will do one day.”

Xe stared at her screwdriver before taking it and eyeing her suspiciously. “So, sometime in the future, I just give you my screwdriver.”

“Yeah.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I didn’t pluck it from your cold, dead hands if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“And I know that because?”

“Listen to me,” River insisted. “You’ve lost your friend. You’re angry. I understand. But you need to be less emotional, Doctor, right now.���

Xe stared at her in bewilderment. “Less emotional? I’m not emotional! And I’m not angry, I’m annoyed.”

River ignored that. “There are five people in this room still alive. Focus on that. Dear God, you’re hard work young.”

Xir annoyance spilled over in an irritated snarl that reverberated throughout time. “Young? Who are you?”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Lux snapped. “Look at the pair of you. We're all going to die right here, and you're just squabbling like an old married couple.”

The Doctor looked at River in surprise, then back at Lux. Annoyance was beginning to spill over into anger—and xe was at the edge of xir limit with maintaining xir humanoid appearance. “Married? I don’t even know her!”

Xir multidimensional limbs—tentacles—twitched, stirred; xir shadow morphed, became less humanoid and bipedal. Xe was distantly aware of horrified gasps as the team noticed the changes to xir shadow, but the Doctor didn’t care.

“Doctor,” River said, “one day I’m going to be someone that you trust completely, but I can’t wait for you to find that out. So I’m going to prove it to you. And I’m sorry. I’m really very sorry.”

“So am I.” Not really. Xir voice and eyes were cold as xe brought xir hands up to her temples. Before River could react or comprehend what xe was doing, xe pushed inside her mind.

Xir mind was a howling, gaping void—too much, too vast, alien. River winced, gasped in pain as xe stripped her very flimsy mental defenses bare.

“Y-you’re in my mind,” she gasped out. “Doctor, it-it hurts.”

“Good.” Xe was beyond caring if xe hurt her or not. All that mattered was finding out the information xe wanted.

When xe finally broke the connection, River stared at xem with wide, frightened eyes. “What are you? You’re—you’re not—”

“No. I’m not. You’d do well to remember it.” Xe stepped away from her, turned to face the rest of the team even as River snatched back her sonic screwdriver from xem.

“What the hell was that?!” Lux demanded.

The Doctor didn’t respond. Instead xe went on about xir screwdriver and how it was very difficult to interfere with it. Somewhere between the resulting conversation and catching a glimpse of Donna, Anita informed them she had two shadows.

Then zombie Dave caught up to them, and what remained of the group ran for it.

*

While attempting to talk to the swarm, Other Dave became a zombie as well.

Just as well, really.

The Vashta Nerada were doing the Doctor’s job for xem.

*

Night had fallen, and River and what remained of her team were in yet another round reading room. Professor Song was busy checking the shadows with her sonic.

“You know,” she said almost to herself, “it’s funny. I keep wishing the Doctor was here.”

“The Doctor is here, isn’t he?” Anita asked. “He is coming back, right?”

River swallowed before looking over at Anita, still shaken by the experience of having the Doctor rummaging around inside her head without consent. He’d said he wasn’t a man but she didn’t know what else to call him—it. Whatever. But what had been inside her mind… She suppressed a shudder.

The Doctor wasn’t human, had never been human—she’d known that, but somehow she hadn’t realized just how inhuman he actually was. His mind—and she still couldn’t stop thinking about him in male pronouns—had been so dark, ancient… a howling void that she could have lost herself in if she’d had any desire to step inside (which she hadn’t). Then there was the Doctor’s shadow shifting shape… becoming less bipedal before rearranging itself back into a human form…

“You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it's from years before you knew them. and it’s like they’re not quite finished,” River said to Anita. It was the closest analogy she could think of to what she was feeling. “They’re not done yet. Well, yes, the Doctor’s here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not my Doctor. Now my Doctor, I’ve seen whole armies turn and run away. And he’d just swagger off back to his TARDIS and open the doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor in the TARDIS. Next stop, everywhere.”

“Spoilers.” The Doctor’s hard tone ringing out in the silence had both River and Anita jumping in surprise.

The Time Lord slid down the short staircase and hopped over a desk to stand in front of River. “Nobody can open a TARDIS by snapping their fingers. It doesn't work like that.”

“It does for the Doctor.”

Xe had walked past her and turned back as xe snarled, “I am the Doctor.”

River avoided xir gaze. “Yeah. Someday.”

Xe only scoffed and moved on.

*

“Mister Lux, with me. Anita, if he dies, I'll kill him!”

“What about the Vashta Nerada?” Anita asked once River and Mr. Lux had left.

“These are their forests. I’m going to seal Charlotte inside her little world, take everybody else away. The shadows can swarm to their hearts’ content.”

“So you think they’re just going to let us go?”

“Best offer they're going to get.”

“You’re going to make ’em an offer?”

“They’d better take it, because right now, I’m finding it very hard to make any kind of offer at all. You know what? I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying. And she never gave in. And you ate her.”

Xe cleared her visor, revealed the skull that had slumped against the clear material.

“But I’m going to let that pass, just as long as you let them pass.”

“How long have you known?”

“I counted the shadows. You only have one now. She’s nearly gone. Be kind.”

“These are our forests. We are not kind.”

“I’m giving you back your forests, but you are giving me them. You are letting them go.”

“These are our forests. They are our meat.”

Shadows stretched out from Vashta Nerada Anita towards the Doctor.

Xe whirled around, xir voice a low growl: “Don’t play games with me. You just killed someone I liked. That is not a safe place to stand. I’m the Doctor, and you’re in the biggest library in the universe.” Xe paused. “Look me up.”

Xir hold over xir third-dimensional form loosened, let xir other traits—that of xir true appearance—come free. Xe was tired of being and acting human, and now there were no other humans around.

Xir form rippled, shifted—a glitch in reality. Tentacles and things that should not be on a human body became visible only for a moment, then disappeared.

The shadows withdrew rapidly, stayed long enough to deliver the message (“You have one day.”) and then vanished.

River Song died less than an hour later.

Donna Noble returned, but it made no difference—the Doctor could see that xe would have to make her forget within months.

It wasn’t really xir fault.

Even if the Vashta Nerada hadn’t been there, xe would have had no other choice.