#a fuckin crocodile actually)

[slerralartz]

fellas why an i outbhere havin ANOTHER apocalyptic dream but this time it had a moment of horribly gut wrenching emotion snd now i cant sleep

[whoslink]

The mastermind and the accomplice The poet and the butcher...

Oh, don't worry... The red stains are just "ketchup"...

[txjis]

thinking abt toji with a crybaby gf a little extra rn

no one can tell me this man isn’t into the ‘soft’ type. i’m not even trying to project. but i full heartedly believe that he likes the soft girls that have some attitude to them.

cw: MDNI , fem!reader , toji kinda toxic n icky , mention of periods , fake crying , that’s abt it i think.

imagine he’s just spoiled you absolutely rotten, you can count on one hand the amount of times he’s told you “no.” and actually stood his ground on the statement. how could he not give into you? your his sweet little baby, he can’t stand the pout on your face.

but god, when you break out the waterworks?? you could probably have this man doing whatever the fuck you wanted. you knew this too, and you didn’t want him to get used to seeing you cry and whine. so you saved this little trick you’ve learned until there’s something you reaallyyy want, and IF he says no. you know it won’t stay a no.

“c’mon baby, you know i’m saying no because it’s gonna make your stomach hurt.” toji looked over at you, bottom lip jutting out after he just rudely told you no to going back through the drive through to get another ice cream cone after you just practically inhaled yours. and sure, maybe it was immature to cry over ice cream, but you could tell your period was close, you needed that fucking ice cream before you ripped his head off.

“so mean toji.” your lip wobbling a bit while you willed your eyes to start misting over with water. you slammed both of your legs against the passenger side door, shrinking away from him while you sniffled and crossed your arms over your chest. it was dramatic, and you were fully aware of that. but who cares you were his special girl, no one else mattered.

“don’t be like that-“ toji reached out towards your legs, originally trying to place a strong hand on your thigh. he had to lean over the center console the way you tucked yourself against the door so tight. but just before he made contact, you slapped his hand away, turning to glare at him with crocodile tears streaming down your cheeks. “..fuckin’ fine. same flavor?”

you nod as he pulls around to go back through the drive through, he grunts and hands you the cone full of the sweet treat you had just cried over. you take it from him, continuing the pouty act for a few moments until you genuinely start to miss his touch. riding in his car doesn’t feel normal when his hand isn’t in your lap.

toji smirks to himself watching your legs shift closer to him once again through the peaks he was stealing of you occasionally. he places his hand on your thigh and gives it a small squeeze, mumbling a ‘love ya.’

god, he can’t wait until the day he actually wants to tell you no. he can’t wait until he can tell you that he knows what your little ‘trick’ is and how it’s never really worked on him. he can see right through your little head. he wants to watch you stumble over your words and try to explain yourself to him, break you down until you’re begging for his forgiveness. that’s when the real tears come out.

I SAID TOJI LIKES SOFT CRYBABY GIRLS BUT I DIDNT SAY IT WAS FOR A HEALTHY REASON :3 he likes to break them u can’t tell me otherwise

i’d still fuck him icl.

[honey-on-your-tongue]

Kinktober Day 11

I’m sorry, but desperate reader x mean!Logan????

You’d been teasing him all day, wearing that stupid skirt he loved and a top without a bra underneath.

You’d been so needy lately, trying at every turn to get him to fuck you, but he just brushed you off. You’d begged him so bad, pestered him evety time you two were alone.

You would grind against him, whine quietly, say everything you knew he liked to hear. Eventually, he gave in. More than anything, because he loved to have you completely at his mercy.

He fucks you slow and deep, not enough to make you come, but enough to keep you needy and begging for more.

He laughs when you start crying from frustration. "Really? You gonna give me those crocodile tears? Bub, we both know you're enjoying this a bunch. Don't be so fuckin' greedy, fuckin' whore."

You whimper, hands weak as they hold onto his shoulders, eyes full of tears and vision blurry. You feel drunk. Actually drunk on the way he fucks you, how he drags his cock in and out of you slowly. He makes sure you feel every inch, every vein, every little twitch of his as he spreads your cunt open.

"Fuck, maybe I’ll take a picture of you like this, all whiny and teary, hm? And when you ask me to fuck you next time, bub, I won’t. I’ll remind you how ungrateful you were this time. Sound good?”

You shake your head, sobbing almost. “Daddy, please.”

He smirks. “Yeah, I know what ya want, bub. Doesn’t mean you’re gonna get it, you greedy little thing.”

Still, you look too adorable like this, soaked cunt, teary eyes, gorgeous pout, and he knows he’s eventually going to relent.

---

Taglist

@wolviesgirl @sad0ni0n 

---

Blog masterlist

Kinktober masterlist

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

we're never going back, never, never (basically, I guess it could be worse) / and the people only sleep* / up here in heaven without you, i'm here in heaven without you / dear, do you often think of me as you overlook the sea? do I qualify as dearly departed or am I that sucker in the sky? / the fall guy for the first and the last time / I'm never coming back, never, never mostly all this criminal life is a one way road & it's obvious additional:

it is hell being here without you dear <- a bit of henry after betty's death core

yes, I do suppose it could be worse / and the people only sleep / and awake to tell how gory and gruesome was their end / do I qualify as dearly departed or am I that sucker in the sky? <- makes me think about pentito(s?). "Before I leave, I apologize to my mother and to god, because their love knows no bounds. The rest of the world — I know — will never forgive me" <- suicide note from one sicilian mafioso (iirc he didn't became a pentito but killed himself in jail)

*needs a bit of elaboration. they -are- sleeping <- once again bout living in a parallel world. they would support anyone — so neutral and not actually caring for the objective real world with its struggles. what matters is who pays. 'they aren't primal. they just created & work in the industry of violence. it's a separate industry on the sicilan market' <- point i think about very often these months

here in heaven for moretti plot bc i love comparing criminals & criminal underworld w divine things & a completely parallel universe; bc they are indeed live in a different world and it makes them incapable of living a normal life, they loose this skill & live in some kind of illusion actually

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Harley: I KNOW I AM ;D

Janet: CROC AVERT YOUR CROCODILE EYES THIS IS NOT FOR YOU TO SEE

Croc: I'm not actually a fuckin crocodile Janet

Janet: AVERT THEEEEMMMMM

Croc: Your looking through the gaps in your fingers

Janet: SHHHHH

[cookie-crumblr]

The Smell of Smoke

Innocent F! Reader x M!Yandere Bully OC

Part 6~

His Info: 🖕✨

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

MINORS DNI

CW: Fem! Reader, reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, loud “noises”, bullying against reader, explicit language, asphyxiation, fight, blood, extreme violence against reader, hospital setting, coma-d reader,, medication use, non con kissing and touching,

Yesterday feels like a dream, but your throbbing head at least proves the alcohol part…

But what about him being … Nice-ish… to you.

Nice for him definitely.

Nice for you, eh, not so much. no more like not at all.

It’s still weird though.

You don’t understand him in the slightest.

Gods, your leg and head are in agony, like you’re in a crocodile’s mouth and she’s giving you the famously terrible roll of death.

You clamber over to your meds, but they aren’t in your bag. At first you’re confused but when you turn around, your bleary eyes land on an open bottle of beer and your med bottle… Did he try to do something “nice” for you, again?

“What the fuck…” Your lip’s upturned as you groan.

Uhg just get them in you already.

An Hour Later~

You make it to class without a hitch! you feel like for the first time in a week you can breathe, at least a little, though labored, it still feels amazing!

Ezra isn’t in class today, another sigh of relief escapes you.

You’re taking notes diligently today, it’s actually so relaxing, you had no idea something so boring and mundane could be so therapeutic.

It’s a good day without him.

Outside the sun feels so wonderful on your face you forget about your broken and branded leg. It feels like the sun’s giving you a nice warm embrace, keeping you safe from all the horrors you’ve experienced now.

You find a stall vending your favorite foods and go to buy some, and a stranger pays for your food!

It’s such a good day without him.

The Next Day~

*SLAM, BANG!*

“SURPRISE! ‘M Y’R NEW ROOMIE~”

You jump as your door flies off its hinges, and Ezra announces his presence loudly and ridiculously.

Come on, of course you cant have more than a gods damn day to yourself.

He starts throwing your roommates shit all over the room, “the fuck are you doing!?” You yell at him without thinking.

“What’d you say, bitch!?” He immediately faces you, and throws down whatever was in his hands in front of you, causing you to yelp and flinch.

“I-I didn’t—”

“Y-You what? didn’t mean it? It’s too fuckin’ late for you, slut.” He’s already on you, hand wrapped around your throat.

You cough without any air, it’s painful to even try.

Your crutches are next to you on your bed…

You reach and stretch over—

You manage to grab one, it’s a little awkward to wield and swing, but you fucking hit him!

He’s surprised and let’s go of you, a wild smile pulls at his lips.

Oh gods!!

You Bolt.

By the time you’re out of the door, your bad legs make you stumble, then in a second he’s tackling you to the ground.

He punches the back of you then grabs you by the back of your head and smashes your face into the ground.

There’s a ringing in your ears, and blood starts pouring from your nose like a geyser.

“Ezra! Stop!!” Ace’s muffled, worry filled voice rings out from down the hall.

“Stay outta it Ace!” Ezra’s voice is equally as hard to hear, even though he’s yards closer.

“No! Quit it!!! Y/N didn’t do anything to you!”

He throws you forward. You have absolutely no fight. You lie shaking and in complete shock, frozen as of time is ice around you.

“Y/N, You oka— no of course not,,” he rushes over to you.

“Ezra… why…” Ace didn’t ask it, he just sounds so disappointed in his brother.

“Yeah, yeah” Ezra doesn’t look at Ace as he walks past him.

“Easy up there, Y/N,” Ace helps you up and slips your arm around his neck. He’s shorter than Ezra so it’s a little easier to walk with him helping you.

“Fuck, I’m sorry… I’m so… Sorry,” he whispers seemingly to himself.

Your ears are still ringing and your head is in more agony than you’ve ever felt up there, you aren’t sure you can stay upright even with Ace’s help.

“woah there! here,” He lifts you into his solid arms and makes sure your tight against his chest.

You try to stay awake but find that a feeling deeper than even the promise of the deepest sleep is pulling you under fast.

“Hey, w-wait, i think you’re s’posed to stay awake with head injuries!” He panics, and speeds up to his car, but stops and calls for an ambulance.

Shit, you’re gonna have a massive bill. Your head is… in unthinkable agony. Is it gonna explode!?

You black out, and come to a few times, one second your in Ace’s arms, the next you’re in a fire truck? next your in a gurney, and then a hospital.

“Y/N!?” Its Ace that’s there next to you when you wake up, but you see a familiar strawberry blonde standing almost outside of your line of sight. He’s wearing a deep scowl. “Y/N! Y/N! You’re awake!”

“You… Were in a coma… For a week.” Ezra doesn’t look at you as he gets the words out.

“A WEEK!? This time you put me in a coma for a week, and you can’t even look at me, you’re despicable. Why are you even here!?” You grab your head as it pounds.

His fiery gaze meets yours head on and you aren’t backing down. What’s he gonna do? put you in another coma??

For fucks sake.

His expression changes, something akin to lust maybe? It’s always confusing you and giving you whiplash, nothing is ever how you expect with this guy.

“Ace, can you give us a minute?” he asks.

“No can do.” He crosses his arms and shakes his head, steadfast, and not going to leave your side.

“It’s alright, i think he’s made whatever point he wanted to make for now.” You resist rolling your eyes at Ezra, thinking back to just … Well you guess a week ago now. It feels like it just happened a second ago to you. Uhg, your head.

He takes a minutes long pause before deciding and finally standing. “okay… But… yell if you need help.” He’s torn, but you want to hear what Ezra has to say, if anything, or if he’s just gonna jump you again, at least you’re already in a hospital bed…

Oh fuck! it’s just hit you… A Weeks worth of medical bills!? FUCK.

“Y/N—” He starts, but…

“Nope, wait, let me go first. What the hell do you want from me!? Just take it and get it over with already! just look at me! are you done yet? happy?? satisfied??”

“I’m not happy.” He looks out the window at a tree. “‘sides, to be honest, thought youd ‘ave a thicker skull than that,” he snickers.

“Oh fuck off.” You’ve never been so angry before in your life. You’ve also never felt so powerless. Maybe because you have nothing left to loose you feel more unhinged and ready to fight.

“I’m sorry.” he says flatly.

“Did you just..?” NOTHING can redeem him, and he just thinks— or maybe he’s not even thinking! does he have a brain to think?

He crosses the room.

Leaning over you in your bed, he grabs your face to pull it up right in front of his own.

You meet his challenge and stare deeply back into his dark red-brown eyes.

He looks down at your puffed lips and back up.

Soon he’s grabbing you all over your upper half, chest waist, belly, throat, he messes up your gown and when it’s loose around your shoulder he bites you there.

His teeth sink into your flesh, you’re biting your lip and trying to shove him off but you have no strength.

Your head lolls back wards, and as youre about to start counting the dots in the ceiling, he backs off.

“Fuck this, ‘m goin’ out f’r a smoke,” he tosses your head back down to your body and back onto the hospital bed.

Ace steps in right after him, before the door closes, “You alright?”

“Yeah, thank you, Ace… I think i need more meds tho hah” you try and laugh but your head pounds.

“Here!” He pushes the button for you and tells the nurse what’s wrong. he listens to Ace for a second then comes to you to confirm and once you do he gives you more morphine.

Then, your whole body just melts.

Woo goodness does that feel nice. You drift back into sleep happily, forgetting everything, along with the pain just for a second.

Yet…

Both dreams end the same…

[jessiexcorner]

Heartbreak Highs

Description: Amerie, Harper, and (Y/n). The three were the best of friends until the incest map. A heartbreak high x reader. 

"I met Ameire when I was five."

A little brown girl with blue overalls and a pink shirt walks over to two girls one blond hair and the other (h/c). The blond draws a crocodile while the (h/c) hands her green crayons as she makes her own painting. “What’s that?” The new girl asks,

“It's a crocodile.” The blond responds.

“It's shit.” The brown girl states. The blond drops her pencil to flip off the new girl, making her smile, while the (h/c) hair girl giggles.

"For a long time, it had just been me and Harper, but with Ameire we were unstoppable."

The three girls run as a teacher chases them through the hall, “Stop it!” The girls giggle and run faster.

"They were my ride or dies. Nobody could come between us. Well, that was until the incest map. Ameire and Harper were super into romance, not that I wasn’t, it's just they tended to watch people.”

(Y/n) takes out her books from her locker clutching onto them as her friends, Amire and Harper giggle holding their books while staring at a couple making out against the lockers. The (h/c) color girl tries to pull them away from the scene but they don't budge.

"In so a creepy way.”

The girls now older, still watch as a couple fights making fun and guessing what the couple could probably be saying. “Oh, I swear to god Jessica you know I'm good for it eh?” Harper makes her voice deeper playing the man.

“If you touch her again I’ll fuckin smash ya, ya cheatin’ dog.” Ameire uses a high pitch.

“No babe, I'm fuckin’—“

“Kiss me!” Both girls make kissing noises. (Y/n) watches the teens quietly shaking her head.

“I don’t exactly know when it started to happen, but somehow I ended up drifting apart from the two,”

Amerie and Harper giggle as they write on the Incest map while (y/n) stands in the corner watching quietly. “You’re obsessed,” Harper comments as Amerie draws a line with a gold marker across her name and dusty.

“Destined,” Amerie says with a smile, (Y/n) looks down playing with the small rock on the floor, kicking it around, bored.

“Harper tried to include me in their activities, Amerie on the other hand seems to forget me more often. Maybe it's because Harper knew me for longer. Eventually, Harper left me behind too. I used to miss them from time to time and the fun we used to have, but now when I look back at those times, I remember they mostly kept me around because their parents trusted me, and if they were around ‘(Y/n) the good kid who gets grades and doesn’t do drugs’, they thought maybe their kids wouldn’t either, which gave harper and Amerie more freedom to actually, go out and do drugs. I completely stopped talking to them after the fight.”

“Ugh, I can't wait for the festival,” Amerie states sitting down on (Y/n)’s floor while eating a bunch of junk candy. Home worksheets thrown on the floor, harper lays on (y/n)’s bed taking some junk food from Amerie.

“I know right, I even got Cash to come and sell us some drugs, we are going to get so wasted.” Harper boasts. (Y/n) sits on her desk trying to finish her homework, ignoring the girls.

“Ah, no way? I can't wait, I got the tickets too! Look,” Amerie says taking out the tickets from her backpack and holding them out for Harper to see. Harper takes the tickets to inspect them noticing something.

“Am, there are only two tickets,” Harper states sitting up now.

“What?” Amerie looks up.

“You only got two tickets, what about (Y/n)?” Harper asks confused.

“Oh, well, she didn't give me the money for it so,” Amerie says glancing at the (h/c) hair-colored girl who sighs.

“I'm not coming.”

“What? Why not?” Harper questions.

“Because I don't want to keep being your guy’s babysitter when you get high or drunk.”

“..well you can just, drink with us,” Amerie states as if it's the easiest solution in the world.

“No, I can't Amerie, because if you knew anything you would know I don't want to.” (Y/n) snaps a little putting her finished homework away.

“..why are you so pissed off? It's just—“ Amerie gets cut off.

“Why am I so pissed off? Amerie. It's like the only time you guys ever hang out with me is because you want something from me or when I have use to you!”

“That's not true.” Harper defends herself and Amerie.

“Yes, it is! You only hang out with me because your parents think that you wouldn't possibly be going out to get drunk with me, and you guys are literally here because you wanted to copy my homework answers. You never hang out with me anymore just doing things like normal, it's always watching the latest hook-up or gossip or getting high and drunk. You never even invite me out anymore.” (Y/n) says angrily shaking a little trying to keep calm. The other two girls are silent and look at each other before collecting their things ready to leave.

“We’ll talk when you've calmed down,” Amerie says picking up her back.

“Oh fuck you, Amerie, just leave, I don't wanna talk to you again.” (Y/n) snaps. The brown girl walks out leaving Harper.

“..I,” Harper starts but then pauses not knowing what to say, muttering an apology while she walks off following Amerie, leaving (Y/n) by herself.

“After that, Harper would occasionally text me, and ask to try to hang out and watch movies like old times, but it wasn't the same. There was always this weird tension. I made new friends though, better friends. Quinni and Darren. Those two are actual ride or dies. They made me feel like I didn't have to pretend or have to get high for them to like me, they treated me right. I had almost forgotten about Harper and Amerie for a while, well that was until that night..”

At school grounds early in the morning, (Y/n) walks up to Quinni and Darren who are talking before someone bumps in between the two, squealing, ‘Dusty spoke to me!’ And giggling. “‘Dusty spoke to me’ what a pick me bitch. Also rude.” Darren mocks the brown girl who bumped them. (Y/n) chuckles lightly, agreeing.

“Maybe she didn't see us,” Quinni says kindly giving Amerie the benefit of the doubt.

“Oh please, Check the material. We are beautiful, exquisite jellyfish.” Darren says linking arms with both girls, brushing Quinni’s hair lightly, “of course they saw us.” They all walk heading to the school building. (Y/n) looks at her phone, sending a quick message to a contact labeled ‘H.’, ‘you coming soon?’ There’s a pause before the person responds with ‘yea see you there.’ The trio walks towards the steps seeing a new face. “Fresh blood,” Darren whispers to the two girls, (Y/n) looks up from her phone noticing a boy in a yellow t-shirt and multi-colored striped pants, asking for directions. As they walk past him to the stairs, the boy makes eye contact with (Y/n) giving a small awkward smile. (Y/n) smiles back and walks with her friends up the stairs, “What was that?” Darren questions,

“What?”

“Were you trying to flirt with him? Oh, baby (Y/n), growing up so fast.” They say teasing.

“Shut up.” (Y/n) ignores the taller stylish kid. The three are about to head to class when someone shouts gaining everyone’s attention.

“Oi! There’s a fully-gacked sex map in the old stairwell. It's called the incest map!” The person shouts walking away, everyone intrigued follows, heading to the stairwell. (Y/n) looks over noticing Amerie stood still with a look of panic. Both girls rush to the stairwell, (Y/n) catching up with her friends. She looks over the map noticing it has grown much bigger than the last time she saw it, then again she stopped coming her long before the fight. She notices new names, including those of her friends Quinni and Darren, she looks over and notices her own name, not connected to anyone just having the words ‘Fish.’ In bold written in familiar handwriting. She tries to swallow the lump in her throat. She notices Missy walking away from her girlfriend upset about what she saw on the map.

“Darren jerked you off? Nice bro, you into dudes now?” A kid, Spider, teases their friend Anthony, also named Ant.

“Little cheeky huh?” Dusty comments, making a crude hand gesture.

“Who says I'm a dude?” Darren retaliates.

“Oh! Look (Y/n)’s a fish!” A couple of boys laugh. “Awe, I can change that for you if you want (Y/n)” Spider says making kissy faces at the girl who clenches her jaw. Looking over at Amerie who looks panicked and avoiding the girl’s gaze. Quinni searches the wall for her name before finding it, labelled ‘lazy kebab’

“That’s not true, what’s a lazy kebab? Spider what's a lazy kebab?” Quinni calls the guy who is said to spread the rumor.

The kids are called for a school meeting and they all sit in the hall. “It's mostly kids from our level, it must be someone we know,” Quinni comments her observation to the other two, who sit down.

“It's probably Spider or one of those idiots. Most of its bullshit anyway,” Darren says sitting in the middle comforting the girls. (Y/n) sits quietly beside Darren, glaring at Amerie, and forcing the kid in the seat next to her to move, leaving an empty seat beside her.

“So crazy right?” Amerie comments. (Y/n), although sitting a couple of seats away, hears this and scoffs. A girl walks into the hall wearing a grey shirt and red pants and having a shaved head.

“Holy shit is that Harps? Oh my god her hair,” Sasha comments sitting next to Amerie, she throws a paper ball at Harper only to miss. Most kids turn to look at the girl. Harper walks towards (Y/n) and sits next to her in the empty seat quietly. 

Amerie notices and stands calling out, “Harper,” only to be ignored and told to sit down by the principal.

“Fish, really couldn’t think up anything more clever than that?” (Y/n) comments blankly not looking at the girl next to her, Harper turns to glance at (Y/n) and mutters an apology.

“I didn't write it.”

“I know but, you didn’t stop her either.” (Y/n) sighs as she looks over at Harper before turning away and focusing on the principal. Both sit quietly next to each other.

There is complete silence. “I am a woke woman.” The principal starts. “I enjoy sex as much as the next person.” She states, making a couple of kids laugh and snicker. “But reputation is everything and this map has jeopardised your reputations and the reputation of our school on the first day back. We are currently in the process of contacting all the parents of everyone on this map and have strongly suggested that there are to be no more parties, shindigs, or gathos.” The students erupt in protest, while Amerie continues to look at Harper and (Y/n), who are sitting quietly. “Hey, hey, unsupervised parties equals alcohol. Alcohol equals poor choices. The risk-taking behaviors outlined on this map are unacceptable. Hartley High prides itself on being a safe environment.” Darren laughs at this. “But clearly this is a wake-up call that we are not doing enough. Oh, and we will find out who did this.” Amerie gulps. “Get to class, go, go, go.” Students stand and head to their classes, (Y/n) and Harper stand and walk together while Darren and Quinni follow.

“Harper, (Y/n) oi!” Amerie calls out only to be ignored and stopped by the principal. “Miss Wadia. Come with me.”

Ameire sits in principal Stacy’s office. “Well, I’ve had quite the education this morning, Amerie. “Wristy? Oh, right.” She reads off her phone. “Doughy? Fish?” Her dog, Joan of Bark, whimpers sitting in his bed. “I think I can work out ‘tongue punch in the fart box.’” She sighs and puts her phone down, while Amerie sits smiling. “I know it was you, Amerie. One of our maintenance staff saw you in the stairwell multiple times. Who else was in on it? Your usual accomplice, Harper? Did you also force (Y/n) into it with you two?”

“Nobody else was in on it,” Amerie says confidently no longer smiling.

"Do you know who I just got off the phone with? The Guardian, Amerie. The Guardian."

"...Okay?"

"Were all of these acts consensual?"

"I guess." Amerie shrugs confused.

"Are your mates using protection?" The principal questions.

"I don't know."

"Well, how can you know that Alyssa scissored Nina, but not know if they're using contraception?" She asks suspiciously.

"I don't think you have to use contraception when you scissor someone, Miss." Amerie sarcastically retorts.

"I'd say that's a very dangerous assumption actually, Amerie. What do we have to do to get through to you? We've done the classes. We've watched the videos. We've had the police consultants in. And yet, here we are with this map." Miss Stacy scolds, "One foot out of line, one late slip, one phone infraction, and I will expel you. Understood?"

"Can I go to class now?"

"Yes, you may."

"Okay."

"Wait! You call this the Incest Map. I'm assuming that's just a play on words and not the actual..."

"Play on words, Miss." She quickly assures the principal.  

"Okay, good. Now, get out of my office before I do expel you, by the count of three. One, two, three!" She sighs.

Pt.2;  https://www.tumblr.com/jessiexcorner/716409910079913984/heartbreak-highs-pt-2?source=share

[weirdmageddon]

I'm taking the plunge because why not:

What are some headcanons regarding small, silly things that happened during the 3 year trips on the Golden Yard and Meteor?

oh lets go i love this sort of ask. no meteor crew stuff sorry im kinda tired but

on the prospitian ship:

the crocodiles are never recovering from that shit bro. un-stonks

alchemizing sessions. probably with mundane household devices like toothbrushes or something. patterned toilet paper. davesprite absolutely remakes the sbahjifier for himself but i think he also likes to hand draw them from time to time. also john and jade alchemizing bathing suits and going swimming on lolar and hanging with the turtles. casey can come too. floaties on casey

the sbahj canon diverges. so many sbahj in-jokes exclusive to the prospitian ship. unfortunately the retcon make it so none of this ever happens :(

he’d never say it but davesprite likes it when john and jade fall asleep on him doing whatever, it makes his presence feel wanted and appreciated by the people he sacrificed his self and humanhood for good for. sorry for immediately going into davesprite but good god is he tragic. oh yeah heres more. he’s still part dave and shares the same history with john and jade that alpha timeline dave does. john gave him his shades on his 13th birthday in december 2008, he sent john the con air bunny and jade a physical copy of sbahj as furries in the mail. he is identical to alpha dave in relation to his friends before the timeline splits off. dont forget that 4/13/2009 was also his first time meeting his online friends john and jade in person, even after 4 months chronologically of sburb grinding—nearly a year with all the time shenanigans—and going back to day 1, since john and jade were dead in his timeline

tries not to cry cries anyway but only when he knows theyre asleep. pov when the weight of everything suddenly hits you (you are an emotionally repressed 14 year old)

also because he’s fucking fluffy and absolutely knows it and probably thinks to himself “yeah this is the best possible use for these otherwise pointless breast feathers” and yall already know he craves cloth mother plus probably has nesting instincts

(source)

adding on to that also i think people forget sprites are actually fucking LONG and his wingspan is fucking huge he could be a pillow and a blanket at the same time

i wrote davesprite jade cuddles and john thinking about mushrooms and davesprite thinking about how they contribute to the ecnonony

^ john toked too hard on the lowas mushrooms by accident one time

it feels like pajama parties would be a common occurence just the vibes im getting. literally jade is seen sitting on a pile of squiddles and theres plushies fucking everywhere you know they got up to plushie mayhem. do you think they ever alchemized them. look how lived in that room is they all contributed something

jade resumes gardening :) but theres no sun :( but she alchemizes some plastic plants :D but its not the same :(

canonically the imps in johns house just gave up tormenting him and started hanging out and having snacks on movie night

PENIS!

imagine looking up into the sky and seeing a giant casey the size of a planet sleep. jade resizes stuff for fun like this just to introduce some novelty to their lives

this is something

davesprite has beavis and butthead do america (1996) in his collection somewhere in his apartment on lohac

yall theyre watching johns fuckin spongebob dvd box collection. you KNOW john owns the spongebob squarepants movie (2004). and the best thing is it brings all of them together without any of them objecting. they all love spongebob

when the episode jellyfish jam comes on johns like “wow, pretty much this exact scenario happened to me with the imps.” (arthur flashback sfx)

DAVESPRITE: yeah well you didnt have a giant sound system did you

jade warps dave’s bro’s sound system from lohac and sizes it up. they put on stadium rave and the entire fucking house shakes

[matttheratkingart]

what are some of your favorite crocodile headcanons?

- I know Oda said he’s Egyptian and Italian, but my Croc is inspired by Cajun and southern culture and he grew up on a swamp island similar to New Orleans bayous

- He’s the middle child of a large family (7 children altogether) raised in a small house he found stifling and left as soon as he could

-I have names and bios of all his siblings and his mother lmao

-he will say he lost his hand in some mysterious pirate way, but in reality it got bit off by a catfish when he went noodling at 11-12

- His bio dad is Whitebeard but he doesn’t actually know it, only remembering seeing the pirate with his mom once in a while when he was very young

-His mother was his introduction to cigars and he would frequently try to steal them from her as a kid

- Before he transitioned he thought he was a lesbian and only slept with women until he met Doflamingo in his 20’s

-God I could do a whole fuckin post about my hcs on Dof and Croc and their fucking. Lana Del Rey Born To Die romance

- He needs reading glasses when doing paperwork for long periods of time

- When content/sleepy/cuddling w his husband (Mihawk) he makes a happy grumbling noise like purring which crocodiles are known to make

-Full believer/supporter of Crocodad theory, did not know he was pregnant at all up until the moment he was holding baby Luffy in his arms. He did not stick around too much after that, never learning the boys name or what had happened to him

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 3 Side D

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Doflamingo x Crocodile:

they had one interaction in the entire manga/show but it gave such Divorced vibes. they just kept staring and glaring at each other like,,, ok. they definitely have a History. doflamingo (depending on the translation) kept saying allusive things like “Let’s hook up!” and “You’re teaming up with Whitebeard? Don’t make me jealous!” like he has it down baddd for crocodile. also don’t get me started on when Oda drew a “What if they teamed up?” scenario where doflamingo has his arm around him, while crocodile wears both a flamingo and a crocodile wearing crowns on his jacket.

I just like awful dilfs in love 😔

two fuckin freaks lmfao

I like the potential for very toxic dynamics also the comedy of their clashing personalities

Honestly, I just think they’re really funny. Weirdass middle aged men, twice divorced, in spite of never being married in the first place. The drama and darkness of it all is great too; but mostly they’re funny.

Most divorced

I really feel like doflamingo flirting at marinford.

Propaganda for Nami x Vivi:

Yes, Nami has a new girlfriend on every island, but her heart belongs to Vivi. Vivi in turn refuses to marry, because her heart belongs with a pirate ❤

THEY’RE LESBIANS! IN LOVE! another point: my friends who are watching OP for the first time came to me and asked “so Nami and Vivi… they’re gay right?” So it’s pretty apparent to even newcomers

I just think they’re neat! And in love. Nami gave up money for Vivi that’s True Love

Anyone who saw them can just tell they’re gay. Like Nami gave up money for her

They're one of the rare lesbian ships in op, they care for each other so much !!

Lesbians

Lesbians

They were so gay that Luffy offered to share food to cheer Nami up when they were separated.

i dare you to read Baroque Works through Alabasta without shipping them. the way Vivi and Nami are so affectionate with each other, and Vivi putting saving her nation on hold to get Nami healthy again ???

Lesbians

Let’s go lesbians!!!!! Ok but actually, I think Nami saw a lot of herself in Vivi (ha) especially when Igaram “died” and then throughout their journey together Nami really encouraged her to open up to the crew. Nami showed Vivi it was ok to ask for help just like Luffy showed her.

Vivi was Nami's gay awakening and you cant change my mind. Nami was in love with Vivi and Vivi def had some kind of feeling for Nami. They were so close and they were more then just 'gal pals'

Lesbian Pirate Supremacy! they clearly care a lot about each other and considering when nami meets vivi she is probably one of the first close female friends she gets to have.

[euniexenoblade]

Hey there, since you're a trans woman and a Xenoblade fan, I was wondering your opinion on something, because I also really like reading your insight on these subjects. A while back when Aionios Moments officially released, there was a lot of discourse surrounding A being referred to as a woman in A's section of the book. While a lot of it was easily-dismissable bad faith transphobia coming from the same people who still try to make a stink over Juniper, I noticed a lot of it did also come from other LGBTQ+ people arguing that A being referred to as a woman was erasing A's non-binary identity.

Now, I'm TME, so I don't wanna step on any toes when it comes to this, but the whole discourse reminds me of a similar thing strawberry-crocodile talked about wrt Testament from Guilty Gear. Am I wrong in feeling like the backlash towards A being supposedly misgendered in the artbook (which, imho, I took A being referred to as a woman as being evidence FOR Alvis transitioning and Ontos being bigender or genderfluid rather than evidence against), is yet another example of people being aversed to the idea of the transfeminine non-binary person? Or am I overthinking this? Again, would love to hear your own insight.

(For anyone else reading this, the character A is pronounless, A only ever goes by A's own name.)

Ok, so my quick thing is if I need like, a nuanced read of Japanese text, I would give my copy of Aionios Moments to my wife who is both fluent in Japanese, and does like, actual Japanese literature analysis and shit. Like, I love translators who do this shit for free, but a lot of y'all do not actually understand gendering in the Japanese language and wires get twisted.

But also like, it's fuckin Nintendo. Nintendo is not intentionally giving you a trans character. I assure you that all of y'all are reading into this deeper than Nintendo ever thought you would. And frankly with that in mind, y'all need to stop arguing over this. Y'all do not know Japanese, hence the nonbinary transfem doing it, and the response was to harass them? This person devoted so much of their time to help translate something for people who couldn't read it, just to get harassed? If anything, that makes me want to pull towards A being a woman. Lol. And why is a random transfem translator getting harassed when it can just be Nintendo misgendering a character? Nintendo is not some fucking giant of trans rights.

The thing here is as a nonbinary woman, who constantly feels like the nonbinary identities of women are constantly erased from history, id frankly just be happy to call the bitch a nonbinary woman. Two things can be true here. People can also head canon A any way they want. It means nothing.

[mjrtaurus]

Shcjdjek fuckin'

Whitebeard never know Xebec had a kid until he finally gets a good look at him. His former captain had never mentioned the little ghost of a boy always keeping to the peripherals. Never acknowledged that he existed.

After he caught a glance of the child's eyes, he knew. So... he kept watching. And the longer he watched, the angrier with Xebec he became.

The boy was four-ish, but looked tinier than he should have been. Small and skittish like a mouse. Never said a word. Whitebeard often wondered if he had even been taught to speak.

The only sound he ever heard come out of that child's mouth had been a frustrated whimper when a swab- who later got boxed around the ears- decided to tease the boy by holding out a scrap of bread, letting him get close, and yanking it away. After a few times of this, the poor thing gave up and went back to watching from the sidelines.

No kid should ever have to look that hungry.

So, Whitebeard set about to winning the kid over. He would set some of his own meal aside and push it towards the kid, making a show of taking his hand off and away. He knew he would see it. It felt a bit like coaxing a stray cat into a pet's life, but it was effective.

He finally got the kid to take the food straight from his hand when God Valley happened. Then the kid was back to a little ghost.

So the only obvious thing to do in this situation was to bring him with. Like who else would look after him?

Kaidou? Two different flavors of depression don't tend to mesh well, so no.

Charlotte Linlin? The poor thing would get married off in a heartbeat. Whitebeard had half a mind to think the woman would actually eat him. Hell no.

Commence "taming feral cat attempt 2". Get him settled on the Moby Dick. He had his own cabin, but preferred to keep a little nest in the tightest nook he could fit in. Fine. Just so long as the kid- Crocodile, he had been named after biting the bejeezus out of him when he got too close too quick- was getting plenty of good sleep. And that he didn't get stuck.

He still took the food he was given like it might be taken away at any moment, and that would stay well into his mid teens.

He eventually felt safe enough to start the process of learning to speak, which was a big deal...

It was a long and rocky road to getting this boy to the help he needed, but it finally got there. He just wished the good times had lasted longer for him.

[halfetirosie]

🔥😅♨️ #SquadGoals ♨️😅🔥

(Exercise 10 - 13 React-os!)

1) OH SHIT, THE PROPHECY IS TRUE!!!

✨ THEY'RE GONNA LET QUINCY GRILL!!!!!! ✨

His Dad Energy™ will be off-the-charts!!!

2) PFFFT!!! 😂

You're getting too predictable, Dante!

Nah but, it will never stop being adorable how well Eiden knows his bois.

Plus, Eiden worked Dante-Teasing™ into his explanation so seamlessly, he doesn't even give him time to react before moving on! Outstanding move! 👌

3) Blade's Robo Abilities validating all the fanfic writers once again--

Kinda interesting that Yakumo gets nervous on boats. Maybe it's just because he's never been on one before? Or because it's so different from his natural environment, he instinctually dislikes it? 🤔

4) The return of Peepaw Kuya that canonically hates water!!! 🤣🤣🤣

He's gonna do his Ghost Bullshit of popping up behind him any second now, just watch-

Yup, that's our boi! 😂 Looks like Kuya's getting too predictable, too!

Kuya's like the fuckin Lord Voldemort of this universe. Don't say his cursed name!!!

5) That's kinda funny--- they accidentally re-created the Pokemon Starter Trio (except instead of Yaku for fire/red it's Dante)!

BRUH.

If I ever had to compete against their team--even if I were physically on-par with them--I would be hella intimidated. 2 of the 3 of them are insanely competitive by nature, and all three of them are workaholics that treat everything seriously. 😨

Not to mention, knowing my luck, I'd get stuck on a team with one slacker and one...shall I say....under-skilled person. Just, based on my history with college group projects... 😭😭😭

6) I am suddenly reminded of the crazy Australians/Floridians that wrestle crocodiles...on purpose...

(⊙ - ⊙)

...I better see fanart of this scene, or else I'll be disappointed!

I can't even blame Eiden for his awe at this weird-ass/random/kinda-funny situation, cuz I'm right there with him!

Also, Impromptu Fish-Wrestling is cool and all, but when do we get to see Quincy grill???

7) 🚨 I CALL BULLSHIT!!! 🚨

Pleaseeee. ( - _ - )

You expect me to believe that Garu and Yakumo, with their yokai-senses, would actually get caught off-guard by a random animal or something? Or that Kuya would honestly believe that??? Him, the one constantly hyping up yokai and their superiority????

...Yeah, that too. Kuya ain't that nice.

He's 100% the smartass lazy kid in the group project that shoves all the real work onto the other members, while pretending that the task they chose is actually difficult/time consuming when it actually can be completed in 5 minutes.

8) Always a fan of 🐾 Cat Dad Dante 🐾 moments! ♡♡♡

I'm also a huge fan of Sooley's thematic accessories!!!

I fuckin called it, dude!!! I knew Dante was jealous of Topper getting to have stylish outfits!!!! (And on that note---who made Sooley's lil' bandana? Eiden, I assume? 🤔)

9) Leave it to Dante & Co. to militarize cooking! 🤣🤣🤣

(ㆁ△ㆁ)

I mean, look at this shit! How are they so insanely coordinated?? Did they practice the choreography?????

10) (◔_◔)

Dante, babes, this situation isn't serious enough to justify one of your classic cheesy one-liners...

(Has anyone else ever commented on that? How Dante says a ton of cringey shit (affectionate) that sounds like it came straight out of an anime?)

--That won't distract me from his impressive skills, tho. I mean, I already knew he had some cooking knowledge from Frozen Echoes (in that side-stroy where he goes ice fishing and then cooks the fish with Karu, Blade, and Eiden).

But this isn't just the rudimentary "cook a thing over a fire until it's not raw anymore" sort of situation---this is an actual understanding of how to cook something and why you should use certain methods for the best results.

My mans is fun to tease, but honestly, he deserves more credit!

Go off, king! I'm proud of you!!! ♡♡♡♡♡

11) ---*snort*---

I'm sure this is still a compliment to Dante, but Eiden just can't resist goofing on him, huh? (≧∇≦)

🔥 End of report! 🔥

[the-bar-sinister]

Crimson Sunset, Azure Dawn (9838 words) by VickytheSnake, thesavagesabretooth Chapters: 3/? Summary: Mihawk would have been content to finally give Shanks the duel long owed him. Buggy swore he simply wanted to give him a piece of his mind. Crocodile just wanted the pair to have some measure of closure, difficult as it might be. No one expected the rising star of the scarlet emperor to crash so suddenly and violently to earth. No one expected to fish a lost and broken Shanks out of the wreckage of his ship.

But maybe it takes disaster for old flames to flicker back to life, and for Cross Guild to bring in its most surprising member.

catch up here

-

Practically the whole crew had been gathered on deck by the time Cabaji got to Shanks, and Buggy towed them back up out of the jaws of the sea. 

Mihawk had hurried up on deck with Crocodile when they both heard shouting, but he hadn't expected the scene in front of him.

Mihawk saw Shanks, his old rival and lover, soaked to the bone and collapsed against Buggy’s man as the clown hauled them by the rigging out of the sea with the help of his crew.

His eyes narrowed and darted to the sunken ship beyond. "...I never thought I’d see him in such a state." 

Crocodile slowly took the cigar out of his mouth, staring along with him. "What the damned hell happened? Is he alive?!"

"He's breathing!" Cabaji called.

"Thank fucking HELL." Buggy roared. "If he’d died, if he…ARGH!"

MIhawk walked towards the rope, grabbing it to help haul them the rest of the way. "...Red Haired Shanks would never simply allow his ship to be decimated like this. Something…quite serious happened."

"Everybody on high alert!" Crocodile growled. He started barking orders at the crew that faded into the background of Mihawk's consciousness while he helped Buggy pull the pair out of the water.

Cabaji came up over the rail with the unconscious man in his arms. Red Haired Shanks looked limp and fragile. It had been a long, long time since Mihawk had seen him in such a way, if ever.

Even after their legendary duel Shanks carried himself in a way that so rarely said ‘fragile’ . Even injured and bleeding…this was new.

He walked over, as Buggy put his hand nervously on Shanks’ back, and looked him over. "...he looks in no shape to fight." 

"Yeah, he looks like he just lost one," Cabaji agreed, still holding the man cradled in his arms. Shank's shirt was torn, and now that he was out of the water, it was clear that blood was soaking into it.

"Ssssss…" Buggy hissed softly through his teeth. "Shiiiit….shit shit shit! Someone grab the ship doctor! Hurry!"

Mihawk bent on one knee to get a better look at Shanks’ face as he lay limp and unconscious …and the wound across his chest. "....yes, he won’t be a danger to us in this state…" 

-

It was chaos on the ship. Every crewman was on alert for threats. Swimmers had been organized in boats to trawl the wreckage for other survivors. Shanks had been brought into the infirmary and laid out on the cot there, stripped and examined by their doctor, while Crocodile, Mihawk and Buggy hung back. There were cracked ribs, and some deep cuts that were being addressed.

Buggy leaned against Crocodile, feeling the sick turn in his stomach as he looked over the damage "someone really messed him up..I mean. I know Mihawk took him to task before but…"

"He usually left our fights about as damaged as me with that asinine little smile of his." Mihawk answered. 

"Yeah," Croc grumbled. "Well, Hawk, you weren't actually trying to fuckin' kill him. Whoever did this? They were."

Buggy twisted his glove in his hands. "But who the hell is crazy enough to go after an Emperor and WIN? Aside from fuckin’ Straw Hat Luffy, I mean." 

Crocodile's gaze lingered on Shanks' wounds. "Straw Hat doesn't use a blade."

Buggy nodded. "I KNOW that, intimately. Thanks!" The memories of the countless punches the manic little terror inflicted in the last three years.

Mihawk tilted his head. "And I doubt Zoro would do this without good reason, or a direct order." 

"Kaidou?" Crocodile suggested. "Their ship left headed the other direction, but if they doubled back, or pulled some trick…"

"The man didn’t exactly have an armada anymore, I’ve heard." Mihawk mused with a shake of his head.

Buggy shifted , rubbing his hands together with another low hiss. "This was not how I expected this to go AT ALL." 

"Nobody fucking did," Crocodile growled. "That's three emperors blown out of the damned water inside a week. If you two can manage without me for a few minutes, I'm gonna go see if I can raise Doflamingo's ship on the transponder and see if his surveillance team has anything."

"Please…" Buggy said breathlessly as his hand floated over to lightly poke one of the few non-wounded places on Shanks’ body— the top of his head. "Seriously, this is …Guh…" 

Crocodile squeezed Buggy's shoulder. 

"I get it, Bug." He pressed a kiss to Buggy's cheek and did the same to Mihawk. Crocodile was often like this, surprisingly tender in moments of worry. "I'll be back."

He left the two of them in the room with Shanks and the doctor, who didn't seem too pleased with Buggy prodding the patient, but certainly wasn't going to say anything about it.

He’d never seen him so weak and battered. Not even when they were kids. It hurt to see him banged up this badly, taking him back to one of their misadventures. The worst that’d happened was a bad gash on Shanks’ arm after they got into a fight they struggled to handle, but…

Nothing like this.

"He ever look this bad after your fights?" Buggy asked. "You said never, right? I…I've been phasin’ in and out."

"Rarely this bad. Always standing." Mihawk murmured. "Whoever is behind this is a dangerous man indeed…"

That was when Shanks groaned, and shifted uncomfortably in the cot— the first sound out of him since Cabaji had pulled him out of the water.

Buggy jolted back, latching onto Mihawk with a hiss of breath. "Aw fuck he’s wakin’ up! Hawky! Knock him out again!"

"No." 

The doctor looked over at them. 

"Ah, it might be a good idea to give the patient some space?" he offered timidly. Frankly, it sounded half way like he was hoping they'd ask him to leave the room instead.

"Shut up or I’ll pin you to a flagpole!" Buggy pointed his finger at the doctor. It wasn’t one of his guys… or rather, not one of his direct crew. But even so, they all looked up to him, right? He quickly added, "buddy ol’ pal! Just a joke! But I’m stayin’!"

Mihawk sighed with a shrug. "I would like him to see us when he wakes up." 

The doctor nodded, cringing obsequiously to Buggy. "Would you like me to try to bring him around, now?"

"Whenever you feel it’s safe." Mihawk assured. 

"He needs rest," the doctor considered, reaching for a bottle of something hesitantly. "But I suppose I might be able to offer better treatment if I knew what happened."

Buggy nodded, leaning forward to look Shanks over again. "Yeah…exactly. If we know what happened you can find like hidden injuries and shit." 

"Alright," the doctor nodded. "I'm going to wake him up. Try not to do anything to upset him when he wakes up, ah, please. Sirs."

"When have I ever upset anyone, huh?" Buggy huffed, "right Hawkie?"

"At least twice a week," Mihawk murmured, before grabbing Buggy by the back of the neck "don’t worry. I’ll corral him."

The doctor nodded again, and uncapped the bottle, waving it under Shanks' nose. Shanks groaned and squirmed, his eyelids fluttering open. The doctor put a hand on his shoulder carefully.

"Easy there. You're pretty heavily wounded."

"Where?" Shanks murmured, trying to sit up.

"You're on our ship, you fuckin' duuuuuhhharling—" Mihawk squeezed the back of Buggy's neck halfway through his sentence, the end of it rapidly changing as he squirmed in his grip.

"Good morning, Red Haired Shanks." Mihawk intoned darkly.

The doctor had been trying to keep him down, but when Shanks heard Buggy and Mihawk he sat up quickly– too quickly– clutching his head as an obvious dizzy spell took him.

"My crew– where?"

"Dunno," Buggy crossed his arms. "Look, uh, when we found you things had already gone to shit, Shanks. I'm not gonna answer that until I'm sure you're not gonna pass out over it."

Shanks' eyes seemed to be having trouble focusing as he stared at them. He put his hand to his head. "Great. I… I was in the water, wasn't I?"

"That you were, Shanks" Mihawk tilted his head. "...and who put you there?" 

Shanks touched the old scar over his eye and scowled. "Teach."Buggy mouthed the name, before he sputtered out. "B-Blackbeard? That shitty upstart? The bastard from the Summit War???"

Mihawk's eyes narrowed. "Ah. The man who took Whitebeard's Devil Fruit and somehow survived eating two. We had word he was in this area…" 

"The same," Shanks said. There was anger in his voice— but very little fire. It was almost strange how hollow he sounded. His unfocused eyes stared at the wall for a moment, and then he laid back down on the cot.

"Eugh…." Buggy grimaced. That lack of fire… that… void there. It was either the blow to his fucking head or something worse. Something that died in the dismantling of that ship, maybe.

"I knew he was going to be trouble the moment he arrived on the scene…" Mihawk mused. "But I never thought he'd beat Red Haired Shanks."

"Hah." The single syllable rang just as hollow in Shanks' throat. "I need a drink."

The doctor fussed over him. "Absolutely not. Ah, sir, I think you have a concussion."

"Does that mean a drink would kill me?" Shanks asked.

"Ah, possibly, yes," the doctor murmured, pushing his fingers together and looking worriedly at his patient.

"I need a drink," Shanks repeated.

Buggy took a few steps forward, looming over the cot with a cross of his arms. "Shanks. Lookit me." 

Shanks barely turned his head. "Hi, Buggy. Long time no see."

Buggy's lips twitched. It'd been years… years… and years since they'd even seen one another. The man had a concussion, Buggy couldn't hold it against him if that was all his addled mind could think to say.

'Long time no see'.

But still. 

Was he selfish for hoping for a little more than something you'd give a half-remembered acquaintance or a drinking buddy you hardly knew the life of?

"Yeah. It's been a fucking while. What the hell happened to you?"

"Oh, nothing much," Shanks said conversationally, staring at the ceiling. "Luffy hates me. He beat me in combat and sent me packing. My life's mission turned out to be complete shit and then when I was sulking about that, Teach wrecked my ship. Mihawk, I see you standing there, will you get me a drink?"

"If you're that eager for an ignoble death in a cot, then far be it from me not to humor you. Doctor? Get this man a drink." Mihawk snapped his fingers.

"....." Buggy pointed his finger at Shanks. "Luffy hates you. That kid who never shut up about how you were his fucking hero. The kid wearing your fucking hat. That kid. He hates you?" 

"Yep." That was all Shanks said. Just 'yep'.

The doctor squirmed. "Ah, Mihawk, sir, I can't just let a patient poison himself…"

"He's done a good job of it himself already," Mihawk glanced down at him. "Shanks. The Doctor doesn't want you to die."

Buggy's eye was twitching, his lips pulled tight in his wide smile as he hissed a breath through his teeth. "Yep." 

It was happening all over again, the leadup to their big fight. That look on his face when he gave up on everything they'd stood for and headed for some 'life's mission' with only a cursory offer for Buggy to be his hanger on. Only this time it was worse.

At least then he still had a dream, now he was just…

"Cool. Good to know, cute kid…very violent." he clapped his hands together. "What's this about that mission of yours?" 

"Don't worry about it," Shanks said. "It was pointless anyway. Your doctor sucks."

Mihawk barked a sharp laugh. "He's doing his best with what he's got, Shanks. A doctor's only as good as his patient."

Buggy's hands shot out and grabbed Shanks' shoulders, his eyes wide and his smile wider "Shaaaanksssss…." he said slowly, his voice lilting in a way he KNEW happened when he got particularly annoyed. "I'm going to shake you."

"You could kill him like that," Mihawk added, his arms crossing over his bare chest.

"You hear that, Buggy? You could kill me like that." Shanks grinned the same miserable, grimacing grin at him. His body was limp and covered in bandages and he really looked like maybe he wanted to die. "You could tell everybody you killed Shanks."

"It's tempting at the moment," Buggy hissed down at him. "It's real tempting. But I don't wanna add another pointless tragedy to this damn mess."

HIs fingers tightened harder against his shoulders. his voice shook. "b-besides…" "I..wouldn't…I mean.."

"Buggy," Mihawk stepped over and put a hand on his shoulder.

"No , Hawky, I gotta …" Buggy sniffed. He'd miss Shanks. He'd been missing him for years now, always too bitter and angry to reach out. So why now, when he finally got the balls to reach out and have it out with the guy to maybe fix something for once. "Shanks. I know you're feelin' like shit right now. But trying to get your ex-boyfriend to put you outta your misery is… it fuckin' sucks." 

Shanks met his gaze for the first time, and held it, barely. Dazedly. "Just thought it might be romantic. Hah. No… fuck, sorry," he murmured, looking away again. "You're right."

"There's nothing romantic about making me kill you, moron," Buggy huffed sharply "Even Mihawk would rather give you a proper death in a duel or some shit."

"He's not wrong," Mihawk nodded slowly. "You've fallen from grace, but you're still a warrior."

"See that?" Buggy lightly shook his shoulders, thumping him against the cot. "So don't pull that shit with us, got it?" 

Shanks winced at the shaking, light as it was. "Guh… after all this time. After finding me like this? You two have any kind of respect for me left? I guess you both are crazy."

Shanks's voice was full of regret and something else. 

Shame.

Shanks sounded ashamed of himself.

"Perhaps it's nostalgia. Or perhaps it's an understanding that we are all one bad day from losing everything. Or maybe it's simply madness." Mihawk shrugged his shoulders.

Buggy snorted softly, looking down into his eyes. "Sounds like things really went to shit, Shanksy. I don't care what it is, we were crewmates once. You're still some of that guy I grew up with. I ain't gonna just let you drown. Even if I am still pissed off!" 

Shanks almost laughed. "And here I almost believed you when you said we'd be enemies. Guess all it took to change that was losing everything."

After that there was another awkward silence, before Crocodile thumped on the door.

"Get out here, you two. We need to talk."

The only person in the room who looked relieved was the doctor.

-

Crocodile dragged Buggy and Mihawk to the captains' quarters and lit a fresh cigar— offering them around— before he said anything.

Mihawk gratefully accepted one, though Buggy seemed to be keen to share his. The air was heavy with things unsaid, Buggy seemed to have a surprisingly grave expression on his face. 

Crocodile had been expecting the encounter with Shanks to be fucking dire, but he hadn't expected this. Shanks was an emperor. He'd turned himself into a legend in the last couple of decades while the three of them had sulked through failure after failure. Crocodile had expected the problem to be that Shanks was a cocky, arrogant and self-assured bastard who was "too good" for Croc's guys.

Coming across him at this— what had to be the man's lowest point— had thrown everything into chaos. It showed on Buggy's face— even on Mihawk's. The two of them were lost at sea with this encounter.

Crocodile wished he had better answers as he puffed on his cigar. "So Doffy's crew gave us an update. Blackbeard's on his way toward Winner Island right now. And according to his crew's chatter, he's definitely the one who blasted Shank's ship."

Croc had always had mixed feelings–intense feelings, but mixed– about Doflamingo. But he couldn't deny that his people were a hell of an asset to Cross Guild in terms of surveillance if nothing else.

"Apropos fucking island for him to go to," Buggy muttered darkly as he reached for Mihawk's cigar, who passed it to him with a low sigh.

"Blackbeard…to think the wretch was able to bring even Shanks low." Mihawk murmured.

"Yeah," Crocodile growled. "To say I'm not thrilled is an understatement. Another fucking poisonous legacy of the Moby Dick. Doffy turned course to follow at a distance-– against my recommendation."

Teach hadn't joined Whitebeard's crew until Crocodile had been long quit of his father's tyrannical crew. It was maddening— and apropos— that the old man who had had no faith in Crocodile was a bad enough judge of character to cause this… mess.

Buggy hissed through his teeth. 

"...Doffy'd better be careful. I like the guy, the last thing I want is him gettin' sunk too. Not after…yeah." He shifted against the sofa , his eyes flicking down. "I remember seein' him at Marineford." 

"I'd guess we all remember," Crocodile murmured, leaning back in his chair. He blew a breath of smoke out, and looked at Buggy and Mihawk. "So how's Shanks? Doc think he's gonna pull through?"

"He was ready to chase us out of the room once he got his wits together," Mihawk snorted. "But he thinks he shall pull through, just barely."

Buggy's brow furrowed. He puffed at the cigar. "It…wasn't supposed to go like this. Not one bit." 

"It sure fucking wasn't," Crocodile grumbled. Somehow the whole thing made him even more pissed off at Shanks. How dare Red Hair disappoint Buggy and Mihawk like this? He scoffed. "Doubt you're gonna get that duel any time soon, Hawk."

"Tch…" Mihawk's eyes closed as he took the cigar back from Buggy. "I doubt it. The fire's been snuffed out inside him. I've never seen him so… desperate to give up."

Buggy's teeth grit together, and his eyes darted up to Crocodile. "He tried to get me to kill 'im!"

Crocodile puffed his cigar thoughtfully. 

So Shanks had lost everything. So he was suicidal and ready to give up. Just lay down and let the consequences eat him.

Right where Crocodile had been two years ago after Alabasta.

"Alright. So what do you two want to do about him? Do we dump him in the sea? Throw him in the brig?" He let the question hang in the air and watched their reactions.

Buggy winced, visibly curling into himself. "We ain't dumping him in the fuckin' sea! I barely got him to talk to me…I ain't gonna let him die."

"He's not going to be dangerous, either…" Mihawk put his hand on his chin. He seemed distracted, lost in his own head. 

That was about the reaction Crocodile expected from both of them. 

He took another long puff of his cigar, turning it in his fingers, letting the moment linger, as if he was thinking about it. As if he hadn't already made up his mind.

"So we're going to thump his shoulders, light his fire, and drag him kicking and screaming into Cross Guild, eh?"

Buggy crossed his arms with a snort. "Of course we are. And then I'll shake the bastard as soon as it won't kill 'im!" 

Crocodile nodded to Buggy and turned to Mihawk with a cock of his head. "Hawk? How about your thoughts?"

Mihawk frowned at him, cigar in his mouth. 

"I don't like seeing him like this....Shanks was many things, but this…" He looked down at his folded hands "I think we could re-light his fire, with effort." 

"So is he worth the effort?" Crocodile urged. "That's what I'm asking. I know you both had a thing for him, well, now we've got him in our lap. We can either rehabilitate him and bring him aboard or finally say 'good riddance to that' and move on with your lives."

Buggy seemed physically conflicted, arms crossed over his chest. "I've tried to move on for years, Croccy. I'm tired. It never works."

"How about you, Hawky?" Crocodile was pretty sure that he already knew the answer.

"I didn't cut the rope to dump him back into the ocean," He said, glancing up at Crocodile. "...I'd like to see if he manages his second chance." 

"Then it's decided," Crocodile nodded. As if there had ever been any real doubt. "We'll wine and dine your ex, and bring him back into the fold. The three of us got our second chances. I don't think we have another twenty years to wait around for him to take his."

Buggy's face lit up, even if he tried to smother the smile. "Good. We probably don't, the way he's goin'. So we'll seize the day NOW! He'll be a proper pirate whether he likes it or not!" d

Crocodile sat back, satisfied. "Good. I get the feeling it ain't gonna be easy, so you boys better prepare yourselves. Maybe we oughta come up with a plan of attack."

[herejusttosufferalong]

I’m excited to see him explore comedy, but I totally agree that seeing L in a darker, maybe horror type or even a more emotional role in an A24 film would go SO HARD! I actually watched some of his scenes from Lake Placid: Legacy from before he did Bridgerton and his acting and crying was soooo good here and so different from anything he got to do in Bridgerton, which was always lighthearted up until halfway through his season. Hope we get to see him really explore his range in his future projects and not get typecasted into any particular type of role.

https://youtu.be/tWhBGrGG59Y?feature=shared

^big spoilers for lake placid lol

He does so well in this scene and then his ass gets got by a fuckin crocodile LMFAO

It will never not make me ugly laugh