#You can't go back to normal after that
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So what do your leaders do all day? In the cannon clans it seems like they just sit around at camp all day and let the deputies do all of the work. Until the plot needs them anyway.
Leaders are given 9 lives for a very important purpose; they are supposed to live as their Clanmates do, understand them, and guide them as shining examples of what a warrior should be.
A leader who's inaccessible is considered a failure. Clans can't do anything about this until ASC and it's rare to begin with, but their clan WILL get upset about it.
Patrolling, sparring, hunting, and even cooking are all things a leader should be doing. Is it still very high-pressure? Yes. Ultimate authority rests on them.
So what's a deputy for?
Busywork. Day-to-day decisions that would prevent a leader from actually engaging with clan life. Setting up patrols, gathering news, settling small disputes, etc.
You could consider them a very authoritative secretary. If a Clan is being TOTALLY run by its deputy, that's a problem. If a Clan is BARELY being run by its deputy, that is also a problem.
So, expect to see cats like Firestar just around more often. It's not shocking to see him return from patrol or a little walk, carrying a mouse or two.
#Clan culture#Of course some leaders isolate themselves more often...#Onestar probably does because of the unwanted pressure and paranoia#His clanmates conspired against him and tried to kill him... he couldn't just lead normally after that#I feel that Onestar was actually on the path to ENJOYING leadership at first. At first.#Though surprising and unwanted I think he would have been a fair leader.#Because in spite of being a coward; Onewhisker is also a people pleaser. I see him as wanting to make WindClan a good place for everyone#That's what I got out of his early actions in Winds of Change anyway#And TNP#And with this culture change I think it suited him nicely. In spite of unwanted changes like not going to aftergatherings and pressure#But how can you just return to normal after an attempt was made ON YOUR LIFE?#To know your friends and loved ones hated you so much they were going to kill you?#'What did I do wrong?'#How can you not become paranoid after that? Expected to act like it's fine#You can't go back to normal after that#Bonefall Rewrite#another hour of Bones rambling in the tags
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all I wanted was to save them... (ID in alt)
#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#let me know if there's any other tags i need to use!!! not sure if it counts as gore#ruporas art#*vash voice* YOU ARE NOT WRONG/LOST WOLFWOOD!!!!!!#i think very often about ch 49 where wolfwood thought it was fr over for him for that brief moment. he was already bearing with so much#fatigue that it wasn't going to be enough for him to fight back properly.. and ough... augh..... for the first time after bearing that cros#someone saved him. someone saved himmmm AUGHHHH <-- guy who can't be normal about it even though its been 7 months since i read it#but he's suffered alone for so long and continued to do so because it's all he ever knew in those short years#and its devastating. his one and only desire was simple and it was still difficult for him to reach T_T#anyway... i love him... holds him tenderly in my palms
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Prompt 129
Danny, now an adult, has just moved to the city of Gotham. Actually he’s been an adult for a while, but every once in a while he has to end his life, at least legally, lest someone get suspicious. Usually whenever Dan or Ellie does an oopsie and pulls a firebird with being reborn through their core.
So legally, one Danyal Nightingale, has just moved to Gotham to open a bakery (Thank you for the wonderful recipes and bonding Clockwork) while taking care of his practically newborn son Jordan. Of course Elnath- Ellie- had to pull a core retreat too, which is just his luck.
It wouldn’t be a problem, but he’s trying to not be so broody. A ghost- even a half-ghost- carrying another core though, has instincts turned up to like, eleven. Which again, wouldn’t be much of a problem if not for someone falling into his dumpster late at night bleeding. A vigilante, which he’s sworn to stay away from that life years ago. And it’s not a lethal wound…
But his instincts are screaming to not let the person bleed all around his nest, and he knows from experience that it would continue to bother him. Which is how he ends up with Batman on his couch to Dan’s glee if the ghost chirps are to go by.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#potential spirit halloween#This is before Tim joined as robin but after Jason dies me thinks#Bruce is on a self destruction spiral and there was a lucky hit that managed to give him a concussion#He might cry a little when he first sees tiny baby Dan peeking at him from the crib#There's no proof of it though and he was out of it so it doesn't count#Danny is not impressed with this man's self destruction spiral#No you can't go back to wherever your base is you are sitting your ass down until your ribs are no longer bruised and youre not concussed#You can also just stay right there until breakfast is done you ancients damned idiot#Eventually Bruce will definitely realize the Nightingale family aren't human but for now he's stubbornly trying to leave#Normally when ghosts reform from cores they don't deage but that's not how it works for halfas who have living bodies#Hence them joking about it being like phoenixes or firebirds#does this count as mpreg???#idk it's like 3am rn lol
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The Wayne doll house
Have some haunted doll au, since it's been bubbling away in my mind.
The bat cave is large and sprawling, many layers and tunnels and hollowed out cracks in the walls. It takes many years to fully reinforce to prevent stray kids from tripping into stagnant waters or fall down crags as he once did. The doll cave, as it becomes known, is in one of the deepest, darkest corners, one where the lights of the furnished caverns above don't reach.
It's one late night sitting at the computer when it suddenly occurs to Bruce that his first encounter with a doll was at the well entrance, many levels above.
There was nothing there when he went back.
-
The justice league stared at the subaru. The subaru, having no eyes, did not stare back.
The seven of them had just finished a very long, arduous mission, and narrowly escaped government censure after the base they'd been raiding had turned out to belong to some corrupt official. With the alert up, they couldn't escape through city airspace, or even in their hero suits.
So civilian it was.
Batman had hotwired some bloke's car while the rest of them ducked into alleys and shop bathrooms, but the problem remained. There was seven of them. And five seats.
"I can shift into something more suitable for being carried," suggested j'onn, "but I believe one of us might have to hide."
"Foot well?" Hal tried, and everyone looked around at the tall, bulky, broad heroes.
"Think they'd have to go in the boot," Barry finally said. Everyone immediately turned to him. "No."
Batman spoke up before the discussion could devolve.
"I think.... I would be best for that."
The team stared.
"Batsy?"
Having no lungs meant he could not drag in the tired sigh he wished, but whatever force allowed this body to talk was capable of approximating something suitably resigned.
"As I am, I am... incapable of fully passing as human. It would be best if I remained out of sight."
"So just? Go change? I swear we won't be weird about whoever you are under the mask. Even if you're like, bald."
"Thank you, Wally, but I'm afraid I'm being serious." Reaching for the mask in broad daylight was unpleasant, but the glue and wires held as he gave it a few thorough tugs. "It doesn't detach."
Everyone stared. Clark reached out as if he wanted to check, but withdrew.
"Do you even have a civilian identity??" Oliver eventually asked. "Because at this point I'm genuinely not sure."
Wayne Enterprises and Queen Industries had a meeting that same evening. "Hn."
"Can we go back to the 'incapable of passing as human' part?!"
"We can discuss it in the car," he snapped, stalking past Barry and popping the boot. "In case you haven't forgotten, we're on a time limit."
For once, that seemed to encourage them, and batman, with great dignity, folded his joints and cape into the small space, ignoring Hal's mutter of 'what kind of contortionist -' as he slammed the lid. With a little shuffling he managed to activate his comms.
"I will inform the watchtower of our delay."
"Batman, they're tapping all outgoing signals, you can't -"
"It won't trigger," he interrupted, before he twisted his consciousness and sent it spiralling across the country.
Bruce awoke with a groan, stretching his limbs and taking a moment to marinate in his annoyance before he reached for the comm and voice modulator on the beside table.
"Batman to watchtower, we've encountered delays. If the Texan state government calls we haven't entered the state in six weeks. Batman out."
-
"Alien?"
"No."
"Reanimated corpse?"
"No."
"Uh... Demon?"
"Hm. No."
"You're not just a meta human, are you?"
"No."
"Vampire?"
"No."
"Robot??"
"No."
"Batsy, please, someone's got to win the bet eventually. How do we even know you're not lying?!"
"You don't," Batman said, not looking up from his paperwork and Flash groaned, letting his sticky notes fall to the floor as he buried his head in his arms.
"One day," he bemoaned to the keyboard, "one day we'll figure it out."
"Until then please keep your eyes on the monitors."
Flash groaned again.
-
Robin ducked under superman's arm as he scuttled down the corridor, laden with the night's haul of snacks. The real problem wasn't getting them - stopping league members from raiding the kitchen would be extremely counterproductive - but keeping them until he could return home to his human body to eat them. Batman had started searching him each time they left and it was really cutting into his daily sugar intake. Unfair! Just because he didn't actually use energy to stay up my night to fight crime, it felt like he did!!
'Oh, you're broken, Robin, oh, don't go out until the glue has fully set, Robin' his arm was fine! It wasn't like there was much crime to be fought on the watchtower anyway! At least not physically.
So he was pretty pleased with himself until he went to set the snacks down and found that the tar like glue they used had soaked through the sleeve and gotten all over his chocolates.
With his other hand, he tried to pry them off, wincing as the wrappers tore and stuck. He tried to shake it, ignoring the way his elbow rattled in the joint.
"Come on, come on - aw, cheezits."
The arm fell off. Robin stared despondently at the limb, surrounded by torn wrappers and dripping black glue where it connected to the elbow. The sour stink of formaldehyde filled the air.
He was going to be in such trouble with Bruce.
The click of the door jerked his head up.
Flash stood in the doorway, wide eyed. Robin stared back.
Flash screamed.
Oh yeah @dehydratedmockingbird have a thing
#batman#Possessed doll au#bruce wayne#justice league#cryptid batman#Cryptid batfam#Didn't fit in there but I wanted to include that every bat member has a mask that covers their mouth#They've all got nutcracker jaws#I don't know the technical name but you know the ones where only a block moves for the mouth and the cheeks don't?#Super creepy on a life size thing I'd imagine#So if their mouth guard or mask gets ruined guess who's having nightmares that night!#Normally cryptid batfam go to great lengths to Look Inhuman and these guys still do it's just easier to not get joints jammed if you cover#Them up. Doesn't mean they haven't pavloved the whole criminal underground into terror at the sound of wooden clacking#They can turn ALL their joints 360 and it terrifies the average goon when you try to sneak behind a bat and it just swivels around to lock#With you. They grapple by shooting their hands out (so they can't lose their grapples) and it doesn't look nice. Yes they use it to#High five from across rooftops or grab things. Punch people in the face from the rafters. (pie the joker)#Their outfits look painted on (they mostly are). Ears swivel. They each have gliding wings installed in their backs after a scare with ivy#Clark was too polite to ask about the rattling and hissing noises he made until one day he was scouting with xray vision glanced over#And nearly screamed XD#long post#long tags
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Wandering my hallways and pacing around my home thinking about Final Fantasy XV and its myriad examples of the core cast casually dehumanizing themselves for the sake of what they believe to be something greater. Ignis has perfectly fine vision but wears glasses to correct to 20/20. "When you can't focus, I focus for you." All of Episode Prompto. Ravus seeing his sister's death as a tragedy, not just because she's dead, but because she's dead and she doesn't even get to rest. The repeated imagery of getting closer and closer to Noct's destined goal is literally him trying to hold very still and not flinch as he lets a sword hit him. The goddamn ending. The game is not in conversation with this theme. These are things that are true to the characters and they cannot imagine a world where they are not. I'm climbing on the walls.
#sometimes I start thinking too hard about how Ignis started looking after noct when he was six and I have to go stare at a wall#or the fact that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt his eyesight wasn't coming back and he still tried to downplay it#all of gladio's. everything honestly.#Born to die for you made to take hits for you molded to carry you#and he can't fathom it when Noct buckles under the pressure because to him he's never had any choice but to just shoulder it#and facing the fact that he's spent his whole life building himself to serve one person but if he doesnt have that one person he has NOTHIN#and then youre like oh both these guys are super fucked up from this lifetime of servitude but at least prompto had a normal life!#and then episode prompto hits#and on TOP of that theres prompto recurring story beats of changing himself to be 'good' enough. physically fit and chipper and cheery.#and his belief that being himself will actually just drag everyone down with him#AND LIKE! none of this is ADDRESSED#it doesnt get better they were all always slaves to something greater there is no other way this could have ended.#I have to go eat drywall#final fantasy#final fantasy xv#final fantasy 15#ff15#ffxv#ff 15#ff xv#chocobros#noctis lucis caelum#ignis scientia#gladiolus amicitia#prompto argentum#lunafreya nox fleuret#ravus nox fleuret
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i've always adhered to the idea that termina isn't a real place but rather a representation of link himself. and it makes me unwell if i think about it too much. to be quite honest with you
#mm#talkin#definitely not an uncommon theory but it makes me soooooooooo crazy i need to go lie in a landfill for a bit#the main conflicts all relate to things link has had to deal with in oot. things that likely affect him deeply#you control time and yet you're constantly running out of it......everyone forgets you and your actions continuously#you change shape repeatedly against your will. your body is always foreign to you like it was after pulling the sword#you can't save everyone despite being the only person with the ability to do so - if only if only if only#even skull kid's struggle with being lonely and forgotten parallels link's after being sent back in time#it makes me SICK!! SICK I TELL YOU!!!#don't even get me started on the mortality stuff#the whole game is like. fear and uncertainty contrasted with silliness and hope#and i'm sitting here like hmmmm. i think i shall interpret this as a metaphor for link himself#his personality memories and fears taking physical shape perhaps#delightful game!! makes me feel normal
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Not going to elaborate on that but the ending of Netflix's Nimona compared to the ending of the comic feels like the same type of misunderstanding that LotR-derivative works have about LotR's ending
#It's about how sometimes things CAN'T go back to normal how sometimes you can't move on and reconnect immediately after a hurt#Netflix version's conflict being resolved with a couple pretty words is laughable
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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oh! oh </3 oh!! okay!
#he KNEW that apologizing in the nest was futile but when he thought riko was back he STILL APOLOGIZED#HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHO WAS TOUCHING HIM BUT HE WAS ALREADY APOLOGIZING#his genuine confusion makes me SO SAD#he’s been through so much but he's still like. so...innocent#his “normal” is so fucked up. he can’t even fathom how wrong the things that happened to him were#he knows firsthand that apologizing does nothing to break his fall and he's like... “is this a trick?”#like “what do you mean you’re not going to beat the shit out of me after i accidentally hit laila in a triggered state?”#“what do you mean there are ways to solve problems without violence?”#and him saying “i can't promise it won’t happen again” (lashing out when triggered)#as in: when it happens again i am expecting to be punished#as in: i will apologize if that's what you want. if that means you won't hit me. if it pleases you.#as in: but when it happens again-do what you must. i will deserve it.#he’s been hurt so often so badly that protecting himself is second nature#he has never been around safe people#his first instinct is fight or flight#his body is protecting him before his brain can catch up#and he obviously does not want to hurt them#but its so fucking HEARTBREAKING because he KNOWS he won't be able to control it when fight or flight kicks in#and if they are going to be around him it is inevitable he will resort to violence. it is all he knows.#but he still cares enough to prepare them for that reality#like. “i can't promise i won't hurt you again” and “i don't mean to” and “punish me as you see fit”#he's giving them permission to HURT HIM for protecting himself#tsc spoilers#tsc#the sunshine court#all for the game#aftg#jean moreau#the foxhole court#tfc
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I would love, even if its just its just brief summaries, to know the different thoughts going through bills head throughout the last smut. (mainly when he got the text and when dipper starts just blurting out thoughts and ideas bc i think those moments would be fun to see)
Imagine you're having the shittiest day at work. You're gritting your teeth and hanging onto it by your fingernails, knowing that eventually dealing with this absolutely idiotic, waffling, overstuffed, condescending dipshit of a client will be done with, you'll charge him out the nose for your services - which will probably be, like a hundred dollars, the way this is going! What bullshit. At least afterwards, you can collapse onto the bed and complain to your spouse about it. Which you have been doing, actually, waiting for a decent excuse to bail or check out early.
Then you get a text. And it's your partner saying they got you a brand new console, your favorite pizza - Oh! And a million bucks in untraceable cash - but you might have to kick your shitty client in the nuts so hard his eyes pop out. Does that sound... okay? No pressure or anything.
The reason Bill was a minute later than expected is because even he needed a moment. It was the sheer whiplash from going from Shit to Fucking Amazing.
#answers#Bill went from full on eeueuughhh about his day to practically having hearts floating around him#Perhaps literally depending on the magic situation in the place he was in#In my head Bill was 'hired' by a (shitty) villain and he got out of it by doing a quick betrayal and demanding to be cast out by the 'heros#“I Got THIS to get back to!! You think I wanna keep him waiting???”#He already hovers in his normal triangle form but this man was practically floating with delight heading back to Dipper#A graph of Bill's mood would start out super low then spike sharply at the pic#It then stays super high up with more spikes during all the shenanigans#After the smut they likely get cleaned up. Cuddle. And talk shit about idiots they've had to deal with#Bill Cipher has gone from doing his evil deeds and playing piano to an empty bedroom while raiding his own bar for distraction#To coming home to someone who'll listen to him bitch about his day and absolutely bicker with him about it#Calling him the worst thing in the universe. A scourge upon reality.#The most clever awful bastard. How *dare* he be handsome that's a crime -and frankly Dipper basically did it for him so he can't take credi#And sometimes even saying 'yeah you didn't *entirely* deserve to be screwed over that way. I could have done that *way* better.'#While Bill rests his head in his lap. Having someone listen to him ramble while he gets his hair played with. Lots of really good kisses#Warm. Close. Grossly domestic. But hey! Even *sex* can seem gross if you phrase it weird and *that's* a normal demonic pleasure#Sometimes fun things are just fuckin' FUN y'know?? Even if this one seems weird to other demons#It's. Nice. REALLY nice.#There's absolute no goddamn way he's going back to NOT having this#Even death won't pry it out of his greedy little mitts
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Lan-jiejie, drunk off a sip of wine and ranting to her friends at 2 am: my didi is a dumbass? He's had a crush on this girl for 15 years, and he keeps getting into fights with her? why can't he get his act together and confess? except he tried to and it got worse? ٩(//̀Д/́/)۶
Lan-jiejie, hearing that her didi finally got engaged to the girl of his dreams:
Lan-jiejie two seconds later, finding out that said engagement is the result of a perilous quest, a secret relationship, and will now be the precursor to a shotgun wedding:
#asks#she's that meme where the mom is screaming “why can't you be normal?”#and the kid (lan fang) is in the back seat wailing about how much he loves a-lan and how she is putting herself in DANGER all the time#or how much she must hate him after their latest misunderstanding#it's a toss-up really#they finally get engaged and lan-jiejie thinks her troubles are over but NO#now hanguang-jun is shooting her didi death glares while pointedly building an adorable crib#and angrily quizzing him on his daily habits and reprimanding him for not eating well#meanwhile a-lan had no idea about any of this while it was going on#she was (and is) living a very peaceful life
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Sooooo one of my mutuls reminded me that I love The Talented Mr. Ripley so much and I am 100% not normal about it and I just to say that the last time I rewatched it (a few months ago) I hadn't watched that movie for a long time and my only thought was "they want you to think Tom Ripley is the dangerous character but it's actually Dickie Greenleaf. Nothing can destroy your life like the nonchalance a charming person picks you up and puts you down with". And I was 100% sure of that. And then I rewatched the movie and I was like "Okay maybe Tom Ripley was the problem" but you need to understand that everytime I watch that movie it fucks with my brain and my past friendships so hard after a while I always find myself thinking "if Dickie just knew how to love Tom in the right way, none of this would have happened. It's Dickie's fault." And it's not! Tom is deeply fucked up for several reasons! But this movie fucks so hard with me pegs my brain gaslights me like an abusive boyfriend that I always end up thinking "Tom did nothing wrong. Tom did nothing wrong, if Dickie just loved him the right way. It's Dickie's fault."
I just think that people like Dickie Greenleaf can make anyone insane. I think I'd rather never knew the joy of bashing in Dickie's attention that living through the desperation of being derived of it.
#being told I was unable to love right sure adds some layers to this conversation#this movie FUCKS#anthony minghella I'm in your walls#the talented mr ripley#jude law#matt damon#I've been a Tom all my life but sometimes I suspect I have been Dickie to some people#and the power that I might have held over them makes me sick#I associate Dickie Greenleaf with the children judges of Munster in Q by Luther Blisset#which is NOT a good thing#or to Jan of Leida's wife. which is also not good.#something about innocence in cruelty. being unable to perceive the evil one's causing.#but it's not your fault nor anybody's fault if that's your natural attitude. Hurting others without even noticing.#if you use your love like an ancient God would. Give and take back at your pleasure.#au plaisir de Dieu but you are the God#and what people want from you? You're just one. You can't be there for everybody all the time.#that's the job of a supreme entity but that's how people see you. Brighter than the sun. It's not your fault. It's not their fault.#you have a right to your love and your attention but they have a right to that as well because once they've tried it they can't go back#it's intoxicating being loved by someone like Diclie Greenleaf. Any man who has tried that would rather kill themed rather than go back#being ignored after that#it's Dickie who leaves death and desperation behind him#*conveniently ignores Tom Ripley's a psychopath* Ooooh I forgot about that part#anyway yeah movies I am sooooo normal about
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Just Desserts continental northern map made using this method! :D (Patreon)
#My art#Just Desserts#The JD residents all live on the northmost landmass in the middle green area - which I've been calling The Basin#It's a fairly flat area that has a very extreme mountain range to its north#They jut up extremely and then clifface on the coastline - keeps the Basin very protected from high moisture!#I've mentioned before how the JD universe doesn't really have summers - I mean that's Partially true#The Basin only experiences three seasons but the more south you go the more seasonal variation there is#But Residents can't stand the heat - even ones that are pastries that would require heat to bake don't fare well day after day#So none live in warmer climes! Other things do tho :)#It's funny to me how piecemeal this idea came together haha#The map-making trick is hecka cool! And it was definitely the push I needed but there are other bits of this that fell in line first#Most especially the fun little idea that I've doodled here or there and talked about in bits and pieces#Of how since the residents are candy that they mine teeth like cavities haha - it's canon now! >:3c#The northern mountains are the silhouette of the lower half of a human jaw! And with how they jut up - the mountains are shaped like teeth!#The Basin is the basin of the mouth/jaw where the tongue would normally be - the tasty bit haha#And residents do have a calcium-mining industry up there - and if the deposits happen to form in a specific shape well ♪ Hehehe#I'm still parsing what I'd like the mineral to Do exactly - it's more likely to be a building material than a food item but hmm#Why would they have such a need for it! Something more to consider#For now it's just a fun idea that finally got put to reality hehe ♪ And it was a fun thing to work on! :D#I'm not sure yet of what other landmasses might be around - maybe this is the whole world! - or what other fauna and flora there is#I'm back on thinking about Elemental Magic so there's that lol I can't help it#I'd like for the JD universe's magic system to be a little more defined :) Every little step helps!#See if you can identify the other silhouettes I used! :D
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Let's play "Is the seasonal depression coming back strong or am I just days/hours away from getting my period and my serotonin levels are, therefore, below the Earth's surface?"
#literally nothing excites me anymore rn#i turn on my switch to play and I'm exhausted barely two minutes in#i can't watch a series cause I'm not in the appropriate mood/headspace#i don't even bother opening the fic doc these days cause i know I'm gonna give up after like. 10 words#haven't gotten any more comments asking for updates on L&L thank God#but i did get a very guilt-trippy anon like. a few weeks ago or so? when someone asked if I still did yakuza hcs#i didn't see it until now#said smt like 'now imagine all the people who sent you requests crying and going HOW COULD YOU DELETE THEM? :)'#which like... fuck you then#i wish my hyperfixations could stay still for ten fucking minutes but guess what. that shit ain't up to me#and those kinds of asks are really NOT an incentive to come back to writing yakuza stuff if I ever jump back to it#like. girl I deleted all my hc posts before. you don't want that to happen again#but in any case that ask is the reason I've taken anon privileges away#I'm already hanging on by a thread and have barely functioned as a normal person this past week—#one more guilt trip and/or someone asking for fic updates and I'm gonna go ham on somebody
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God why is my mother such a terrible human being
#ollie talks.txt#ollie vents.txt#I'm just not getting better while I live here#no matter how hard I try to move past it she's still digging it up#she's still trying to justify hitting a 10 year old child#she still thinks she's the fucking victim here#I think I'd feel safer on a mindfield that I do in a room with her#it's really just gonna fucking be like this isn't it?#abusers who 'get better' never really let go of it. they still think they're in the right. now they're just afraid you cat hurt them back#why do I still love her. my fatal flaw is the fact that I still love her. she made me into a hollow husk of a person who attempted suicide#at 11 and I still love her. she told me I'll die if I ever leave her house and I still love her. she told me I'll die a drug addict on the#street and I still love her. she ripped my favourite clothes apart because I didn't wabt to do my homework and I still loved her#she never let me leave the house until I was 14 and I still love her. she told me I'd be raped and kidnapped if I did like it's a normal#thing to say to a child and I still love her. she told me I'm the only friend she has and I still love her.#how am I supposed to be normal about love after this? is it even love or just complacency? I'm not even sure anymore#just fucking stop. why can't you be normal. why must you dig and dig into my trauma until I lash out and hurt you#yeah I do wish I was never born! but I can't say that to your fucking face because you say you'll slit your throat if I do say it!#who the fuck do you think you are? what gives you the right to do this to me?#you're not trying to be better for my sake you're just haunted by the guilt of what you did and want to be oh such a good parent#guess what you don't get that. you don't get that privilege. not after what you did you have blood on your hands and it'll ALWAYS stay there#you'll die and I'll remember you for the abusive and cruel and violent and hateful person you were to me#I don't fucking care about your child trauma. you can guilt me into feeling sorry for you anymore. feeling sorry for you never made you#change. if you were capable of it you'd done it at this point.#cptsd is truly one hell of a drug. I'll never have children. never
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