#Yes I have this person blocked and their name blacklisted just in case they show up anyway

[aflyingcontradiction]

It does not surprise me when I see a person on here whose interactions consist entirely of posting memes and being an absolutely insufferable dickhead.

What does surprise me is when otherwise reasonable and largely friendly people continue to interact with them.

[mc-lukanette]

Marinette idled amongst the small group trying to negotiate with the security guard blocking off the door leading to backstage. Luka, being the performer that he was, tended to be popular even without being the lead of the show, and that naturally meant that most of the people around her wanted to meet him in person. She didn't consider herself to be amongst them, however, not wanting to intrude on his life after they hadn't seen each other for so long.

Up ahead, Marinette could swear that she'd seen some of her old friends approach the security guard, but they were promptly turned away despite their protests. She was certain that she must've only been mistaking them for her friends because it didn't make sense to her that they weren't on Luka's "list," though she supposed it was possible that they hadn't seen him in a long time as well.

Regardless, she could feel the likelihood of her being accepted inside quickly dropping.

Once security had turned away enough people, Marinette could approach with her tiny box of assorted teas in hand. She showed it off to the guard, explaining, "Um, I just want Luka to have this, if that's okay. It's a gift for his amazing performance, and I'm fine with it being anonymous."

The guard raised a brow at her, eyeing the box suspiciously, but nevertheless took it and said, "That's fine, miss, but we actually do need to know your name."

She nodded in understanding. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng, sir."

With that, she turned around, ready to head home when the guard suddenly called out, "Wait. You said Marinette Dupain-Cheng?"

She halted, looking over her shoulder at him. "Y-yes?" Was she actually on a blacklist? Would they kick her out—

"You're on Luka's list," the guard told her, placing the box back in her hands. "He said to give you full permission to come in if you ever came by."

"...He did?"

——-

Marinette still couldn't quite process that she was allowed backstage, led by one of the various people to Luka's dressing room. She looked around as she walked, wanting to ask why she was an exception but not knowing how to do so. After all, if she was on his list, then didn't that mean he still thought of her and even wanted to see her? Maybe?

The person who'd been leading her spoke up, snapping her out of her thoughts. "In here, miss."

She looked up from the floor, the person even going so far as to open the door for her. She stared at them, unsure, but nevertheless stepped inside. It all seemed too easy and she had to scold herself for thinking such a thing, the paranoia of her teenage years (which had been understandable at the time) still lingering even now.

Near the mirror of the dressing room was indeed Luka, sitting down in a chair along with a woman - the make-up artist? - who was carefully wiping away the cosmetics on his face. As Marinette stepped forward, she entered Luka's vision and he looked over, earning a surprised noise from the make-up artist.

"Luka, hold still," she said patiently, "I'm almost—"

"Marinette?"

"Luka?" Wait, she knew it was Luka already, so why did she have to echo him? "Uh... if this is a bad time—"

"No!" He pushed himself half out of the chair, then caught sight of himself in the mirror with his make-up still on. He gave a sheepish expression to the woman near him, then sat back down and turned his chair to at least get a better look at Marinette. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you perform, and..." She looked down at the box in her hands, fidgeting with the plastic casing in her embarrassment. "I thought I'd give you this as a gift? It's tea. I-I figured that singing must be stressful on your throat."

"Oh. T...thank you." Luka put a hand to his heart, touched by the gesture.

Marinette opened her mouth to say more, but noticed how hard Luka was trying to maintain eye contact whilst still having to face the make-up artist. He didn't seem to want to wait on talking to her and neither did she if she were honest.

Approaching the two, Marinette eyed the way the woman was removing Luka's make-up. It seemed simple enough with just a wipe, though she supposed that it could've started out more complicated. She pointed, asking, "Do you mind if I do that instead?"

The make-up artist stopped, looking at Marinette, then Luka. Her eyebrows raised in intrigue and Marinette blushed at whatever assumptions must've been going on through her head. Regardless, the woman relented, hands up in defense and possibly realizing that she'd be fighting a losing battle otherwise. "Go ahead."

Marinette watched as she left, waiting until the door was closed to turn back to Luka. Setting the box of tea on the counter, she asked warily, "Was that okay?"

Luka smiled, leaning forward instead of answering. She giggled shyly, picking up a wipe and gingerly touching it to his face. It was only once she made contact with him that she realized how intimate it was, swallowing and telling herself that she was thinking too hard about it; Luka's mind was probably far from whatever was going on in her head.

"S-so," she said, desperate for a distraction as she wiped his make-up off. "I really loved your performance. It was so different from back when you were in Kitty Section."

"Different?" he wondered.

"Not in a bad way." She bit her lower lip, reminiscing. "Just... I was thinking about those times on the Liberty, when it was just you, me, and your guitar."

"Yeah." He smiled distractingly. "I think about back then too."

"I don't really know anything about music," she admitted, averting her gaze briefly before realizing that it was making her current task difficult, "but you always spoke with it in a way I could understand. You made it easy to hear what you meant."

Given that he couldn't shake his head, he hummed in disagreement. "I didn't do anything like that; I don't dumb down my music to suit anyone." He chuckled. "You were just good at listening, Marinette."

She blushed deeply, unable to comprehend how she went from wanting to deliver a simple gift anonymously to them reminiscing and complimenting each other at such close distance. Luka felt positively about it too, judging by his grin at her red face.

"I-I just—always liked hearing you play?" She said it like it was an excuse. It definitely wasn't. "Whether it's music or words."

"Thanks. You too," he replied.

"H-huh? I didn't—"

"Hearing your song," he began, an extra warmth to his voice, "even if it was only over our texts. It sounded just as beautiful no matter what."

Her lips quivered. She felt overwhelmed, reminded of everything she loved about him and why they got along like they did. Now they were adults, yet nothing had changed, whether it was his opinion or hers.

Luka's smile vanished, though it was blurred in her sight from her eyes watering. "Marinette?"

"Gosh." Her grip on the wipe tightened, her hand dropping onto the counter and squeezing it unconsciously. She leaned down, pressing her forehead against his and hearing the soft gasp he made in response. "I-I really thought you wouldn't want to see me anymore."

Luka exhaled in shock. "Never." He reached up, brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers. "I missed you so much. You have no idea."

"B-but I was so busy. I couldn't make time for you. I-If I really cared, then—"

He scoffed at the idea. "Who told you something like that? You didn't have time and you couldn't magically make it."

It was such a contrast to what she'd known - thought - for so long: people encouraging her to take on more even when she'd said that she'd had no time.

"A guitar can't play without someone to strum it, and I'll never forget how you played me," he continued. "That's why you were on my list; I wanted a way of keeping you close even if you never showed up."

The tears came on stronger at that, finally falling down her face. She felt Luka's thumb brush a trail away, causing her to recoil in realization. "A-ah, I'm sorry! If I cry all over your face, then whatever make-up you have left on will run, and it'll just be even—"

Luka moved at what felt like lightning speed, pushing himself up off the chair to close the distance between them again. Marinette sucked in a breath, his forehead pressing back against hers as his hand fell upon the one holding the wipe. The world went quiet and she forgot whatever self-conscious thought had been about to come out of her mouth.

He said nothing, but she heard him anyway, closing her eyes and simply enjoying the contact. He wasn't going to let her go thinking that she couldn't be vulnerable around him.

Then, roughly a minute later, the door opened and surprised them enough into pulling apart. They looked over, seeing the make-up artist standing in the doorway, probably having come to check on their progress (or lack there of).

"Oh, that's right! You're still at work!" Marinette gasped, having completely forgotten. "H-here, I'll finish really fast! You can even blame it on me if you get in trouble!"

He giggled, faintly embarrassed at being caught how they did despite his usual calm demeanor. "For not taking off my make-up quick enough?"

"...Yes?" she replied. It did sound silly when he phrased it like that.

The door promptly closed, leaving the two alone once more.

"It's alright. I'm done here," Luka assured, hands in his pockets.

She pouted. "I didn't mean to keep you from anything."

"No, I mean that I'm free now."

"Oh," she uttered. "To go out?"

A beat of silence passed, specifically how long it took for her to realize what she'd said and how it could be interpreted.

"I-I didn't—!" She flailed. "In general, not—"

"Yeah," he replied unexpectedly. "If you want to, I'd love to go out with you."

There was something extremely tender in his tone. If she looked closely enough - an easy task given that it was him - she could see his eyes growing misty.

"You do? Right now?" she asked, wondering if it was really okay on such short notice.

He nodded. "In fact..." He leaned down to be level with her, smiling hopefully. "Maybe you should hurry after all."

She brightened at him, not even bothering to hide her smile. "Okay!"

Suddenly, the make-up couldn't come off fast enough.

——-

"Do you have anything else to grab?" Marinette asked as they prepared to leave.

Luka slipped her box of tea into his bag, then looked around the room to confirm, "No, I don't think so."

"Then let's go!" she exclaimed, grabbing Luka's hand and pulling him along. He laughed, apparently happy to be led, and she pulled out her phone with her free hand to check for anywhere nearby that they could go. "Do you want to walk? Or we could take my motorcycle?"

"It doesn't matter. If it's close enough, I don't mind—" He stopped. "...Motorcycle?"

"Yeah! My nonna got it for me back when I was a teenager!"

She took him outside to the vehicle in question, letting go of his hand to gesture dramatically at her ride. Then, putting on her helmet, she reached into a compartment in the back of the motorcycle to pull out a spare helmet for him. She held it out, but Luka stayed still for a strangely long time, merely staring at both her and the motorcycle.

She was about to ask if something was wrong when he shook his head, as if clearing himself of whatever he was thinking. He smiled appreciatively, taking the offered helmet and putting it on. She smiled back at him, turning away to settle herself onto her motorcycle and wait for him.

Her fingers twitched in excitement. "It's just like when you used to take me out on your bike. Now I can return the favor!"

Luka lingered in place for another second, and she swore that she saw him swallow out of the corner of her eye as he approached. He took a seat behind her, hands tentatively slipping on her waist for support, and a thrill ran up her spine.

That was definitely different from when they were teens. She took a deep breath, feeling a little more confident being in his vicinity, and dared to lean back against him.

"Marinette?"

"I missed your hugs too," she whispered. She couldn't see his expression well with the helmet on, but his arms wrapping fully around her told her everything she needed to know.

Even after they finally took off for a ride, they may have passed their intended destination a few times before actually stopping there. If anyone asked, they could pass it off as sightseeing.

[kadeu]

THE DECK; OCTOBER 2024

Sweet breeze! Good riddance summer. Now, usually we adore the summer season, the fashion, the events, the lively shows and all the trouble the socialites get up to. And yes, the fashion was there but eyepatches in the heat are not ideal. Our beloved socialites flocked to the beach and we have enough tales of drunken debauchery yes, and even those who remained in the city with their enchanted blocks of ice and selective guest lists, we still have heard the deeds. But the heat, something about this summer’s heat, made it not as enjoyable.

Speaking of the beach, there is mourning up in the highranked hills of Diamonds. Once Kings, demoted in scandal to Jacks, the Sobongs have met rough waters while enjoying what was supposed to be a calming row out to sea in Umibe. Their staff reported that, “the once peaceful seas suddenly became enraged as if a Tempest beset it and pulled them under.” The Sobong fortune is now up in the air as the only true heir, their son Korain, has long been presumed dead. Korain's only heir is none other than Ace of Diamonds Moon Ara, but sources say the Sobong's will doesn't name their estranged granddaughter at all. 

It is rather fortunate though, inheriting a vast sum, especially when one half of the marital income pool couldn’t even afford box seats at the other’s place of employment. We wonder just how much money is in that estate. Enough to kill for? Only time will tell.

In Hearts, once jeweler to the elite facecards yet now blacklisted from those circles, Lee Hyeonju seems to be looking from Hearts for a way into Diamonds. Formerly disgraced now reinstated Academy Professor Parker Luke, seems to have accepted the advances of Hyeonju and has been spotted every night for two whole weeks within his apartment. Sources close to both men say that Hyeonju has been giving the professor the royal treatment in hopes he sponsors his defection!

Whispers throughout Heart society say that the Ace of Hearts, once an avid patron of Hyeonju’s has refused his service in lieu of newly popular Fae artisans. The Ace’s mood as of late is unreadable on that topic, but sources say Hyeonju has been barred from his presence and that has other highrankers and artisans have been following suit, preferring to not gain the Ace’s disfavor. This has lead to instability in Hyeonju’s prospects in Hearts. No wonder he is looking to flee to Diamonds. 

But he’s not the only one out of favor in Hearts. Ex-courtesan turned restaurant owner, Meesong Nari has been seen without her usual entourage of Zuihuo guards and attendants. Rumor has it she has been kicked from that mansion she was gifted and the Clan favor mark is gone from her arm. Not sure what she did to separate herself from that protection and comfort but we are sure all those bridges she burned ascending in the ranks will happily revisit her. They tell us as kids right? What goes up must come down. Watch your back Nari.

THE TENSION BETWEEN CLUBS AND SPADES;

Amidst the growing tensions between Clubs and Spades, Ace of Clubs Mallick Sai Shah,  held the opening for his Hunter’s Lair. It seems it was mostly a hit, with fights breaking out away from the venue, not in it! One club said, “it’s better to just enjoy things now than wait for whatever comes next,” and we’re considering stitching it on tunics and selling them as aid relief! Business owners suffering from Spade mandated ban through the Joker found it hard to mingle and feast while their own stores suffered. Worse, a gag order was in place against all negative comments on Spades. We sense a lot of fake smiles and grumblings over bread but can’t confirm as we were refused an exclusive invite to report the event!

Still, as an unbiased news source, we gladly accepted the request for a sit down with Ace Shah to address the actions taken in his faction. Our reporter braved the streets of Clubs to give a completely impartial interview. 

How has it been as an Ace? The jump from low ranker to sitting atop the faction must be hard.

Hard? Surprising and unexpected would be the words I would use to describe how this whole situation feels. I used to be a highranker after all and making my way up to even higher ranks before a tragedy struck me, was that an unknown fact?

But you’ve never been Ace? How is that jump?

No, never been. The title itself is not omnipotent, it has its limitations and brings forth unwanted attention that stands in the way of the current progress we wish to bring to the faction. But it's an important role even if only in word, one has to still use it respectably. But the short answer is the jump is still happening. Ask again in a few years when I've landed where it takes me.

How did you think of the Club council? Is it true you were inspired by the Diamond council?

I didn’t think of the Club council, it was a meeting of minds, I wouldn’t have been able to have any council at all if it was only my contribution going into the making of said council. While I have a deep respect for Diamonds and how they tend to go about their politics, I can’t say I was thinking about them when the idea came to be, I was more concerned on how it would affect Clubs in general and how it would be accepted within the faction. But I can now see why they have one, it has its benefits and I applaud them for having the idea to immediately instill it in their system.

How many people really support you as ex-resistance? Can we even believe you’ve left the criminal enterprise?

I can’t possibly begin to tell who truly supports me as ex-resistance or not, but so far I haven’t had anyone personally challenge me in the faction so in this case I think that means even through reticence people might just believe in the good I want for this faction. 

That’s definitely a tough one, all I can say is I was young, hurt and I made mistakes. If I can be forgiven for them then I will be happy, if not I will understand. However, to be judged for the mistakes of your pasts when you’ve recognized them and clearly show that you’ve completely turned away from them, that’s an unfortunate way to see the world or the people around us if you ask me. But yes, to your question, you can believe that I’ve left the criminal enterprise.

I suppose you maintain your innocence in the killing and raid on spade? If you didn’t do it then who is behind such a foul act?

I absolutely do, I had nothing to do with the unfortunate incident even if allegations brought forth the information that some key evidence might link me to it. My hands are clean and I can’t even begin to think of who would be behind this. But whoever it is, the council has decided to lead an investigation into the matter because it’s not just my name and reputation that is on the line, it is also the honor of this faction that will be yet again tarnished. If you find any more clues before we do, I’m certain you’ll pass the message to the rest of the city, won’t you?

Of course! So you suppose you are being framed? Why would anyone frame an already known murderer?

I don’t take lightly to being called a murderer, but if that’s a title I have to wear for ridding the faction of an Ace who cared none for the lives of the people he wanted to lead to an unending civil war and unrest, then there’s not much I can do about it. But yes, I’m being framed, because of the criminal enterprise’s affiliation I had in the past and the label of murderer I have on my back. I mean, wouldn’t you say it’s easier to believe that I would be the one behind someone’s death and demise considering those two demeaning factors? It’s even a little unfair to not see how blatantly obvious they went about it.

You must know, the Academy was attacked a few years ago with your resistance taking ownership. Were you not involved?

The resistance I was part of and that I do not own, you mean? I did hear of it when the incident occurred. I was not involved and I found it disheartening. I'm against attacking innocents and causing the loss of innocent lives.

We’ve heard that your people were harassing Spades in your faction? Our sources say, ‘Urine and feces were tossed on a patron in a popular tavern for saying ‘Spades should be respected.’ Should Spades not be respected?

I’ve had no time to hear these rumors but of course Spades should be respected. Everyone deserves respect for that matter, tossing urine and feces doesn’t seem like a respectful action taken either. But if this rumor is true I can simply apologize for the mistreatment and ask that less impulsive measures are taken in the future because, as you can see, I don’t have any means to control anyone to stop tragedies from occurring. If I did you wouldn’t be here as no shipment would have been ambushed and no lives would have been lost. Unfortunate, isn’t it?

This Ace of Clubs only brings more questions when questions are asked.  He made it clear to our interviewer that the resistance was a mistake he made in youth and he acknowledges them as all as criminals. He even seemed scared to admit the inspiration for the council he created in Clubs. Maybe those on his council are the real danger here. ‘A meeting of minds’ he claims, but it sounds more like he was coerced by darker agents. We’re certain this council is filled with the same resistance criminals he is trying so hard to claim he has separated himself from.

And yet he proclaims his innocence, insists he is being framed. In round about words he points to some conspiracy with no proof of innocence offered. And where is this council if they are unified in their ruling? Should they not have joined this interview to show their unified cause? The future of Clubs is bound to be as blood soaked under this Ace as the last. At least that Ace stood solidly on one point without a questionable background and motive. 

His unwillingness to out other vagrants that would no doubt bring that peace to the faction like he claims to want, make his alleged innocence and investigation a joke. Our own investigation finds King of Clubs, Wainwright Rook, with high suspicion for the fight that broke out in his tavern. There a Spade had feces and urine thrown on them which led to a brawl that left the very foundation of the tavern with a cracked that travelled up the building.  Yet Ace Shah acts ignorant of it. No wonder Spades must do their own investigation.

In Spades, they are increasing drills and the policing of their border. We wonder if an invasion will come soon. Whispers amongst their ranks lean to disdain for the Club Council. Refugees who chose to leave the safety of Spades were met at the border with medical personnel and fighters as if the Club Council thought that Spades were abusing those they rescued during the terror of the war between their last Ace and the new one and his resistance criminals. The council passing suspicion to Spades who have done more for their corner of the city is laughable.

Well, at least the weather is cooling down. Hopefully that eases some of the tensions. The weather is predicted to be far more comfortable though still a bit warmer for the season. We’re calling it a second attempt at summer.  

NOW PLAYING AT THE PALACE;

Fresh from the mind of director Ace Moon Ara, comes a gruesome tale of lost love and revenge. With intense, dark themes, The Palace recommends not bringing children to this production and reminds all of it’s patrons that the theater is NOT responsible for the adverse affects the production may have on younger minds or weak stomachs.

The Fiendish Barber of Kadeu

Evil Judge Turpin (Budrelda Beryl) lusts for the beautiful wife of a simple barber, Benjamin Barker (Adrian!). In order to claim the beautiful woman for herself, Turpin frames the barber, and has him transported to a far away prison for a crime he did not commit. Returning after 15 years and calling himself Sweeney Todd - the new name given to him by the fiend he managed to conscript, the now-mad man vows revenge, applying his razor to unlucky customers and shuttling the bodies down to Mrs. Lovett (played by Ara’s protégé from Wing Theatrics), who uses them in her meat-pie shop. Though many fall to his blade, he will not be satisfied until he slits Turpin's throat.

Its a wonderful start to the fall season, our reporters loved their screening but warn of its hauntingly good effects.

[votederpycausemufins]

Fixing Grum is harder than it looks, sorry guys. [:)]

@petrichormeraki @helleborusangel

Grumbot pulled itself out of [:)]’s arms. It made no sense to stay there anymore when there were things to do. It needed to find Ghostbur and learn what had caused the revival to go awry. It had coordinated for him, but that seemed to be rather far out. Theoretically a teleport could be used, but doing that on its own didn’t seem right. It was meant to do what the admin wanted. But the admin wasn’t here, so did that change things? No, it just needed to find [:)] since he assisted the admin. [:)]’s coordinates were much closer.

Grumbot pulled itself out of bed and then looked at the other occupied bed. Jrum. The robot was much too close and it was worrying Grum. For a moment, Grumbot considered dealing with the problem, but it didn’t matter. It was leaving to find [:)]. Jrum being there wouldn’t matter then. Besides, this was Jrum’s home and not its own. It was its own fault for being there. 

Grumbot looked at the exit. There were too many people that way, and based on previous actions, they would try to stop it. So instead, Grumbot turned to the window. It would be easy enough to break that and leave. Would it make a sound? Yes, but it could still get a head start. And it was much cleaner, its joints could work better so if needed, it could run.

Grumbot climbed up to the window and broke it before jumping out. From inside, it woke up Mumbo and caught the attention of a few people who alerted the others. Grumbot frowned and started to run before getting a better idea. It ran to hide behind a small hill and then started digging down, quickly covering up the hole above them. It stood there, looking up and listening. It seemed that it was being followed, because a few moments later, stomping feet from running passed by overhead. It seemed that Grumbot had the right idea when digging down.

After a few moments of silence, Grumbot climbed back out of the hole. No one was around anymore, so it could continue on its destination to [:)]. It walked back the other way, passing by what should have been an empty building. As far as Grumbot was concerned, it was. The only coordinates listed for that place were for Tommy, but obviously the revival was not fixed yet. There was also Jrum, but if he did follow, Grumbot would stop him. 

It continued to walk and checked the coordinates again. It unfortunately looked like Jrum was following. Grumbot rolled its eyes and sped up. Another check and he was still following, even starting to catch up. But also, he was a block above the ground for whatever reason. Though Grumbot knew turning would slow it down, it was still curious to see why that was the case.

Following behind Grumbot was Jrum, but only because they were currently being held by [:)]. Grumbot looked to see if there was anyone else in sight that hadn’t been noticed by the coordinates, but there was none. It supposed it could stop to see what [:)] wanted. And if he tried to take Grumbot back, it could simply get away since [:)] still had to focus on Jrum.

“You are following.”

“Oh thank goodness you’ve stopped.” The [:)] man panted. “And yes I am. Where were you going Grum? I thought you were going the other way.”

“Others that were likely planning to interfere followed and a new path must be taken now.”

“Path? Path to where?”

“To bzzt, as the admin is currently absent.”

“To what?”

“Bzzt.” Grumbot repeated.

“Can… you elaborate further?” [:)] asked, looking very confused.

“Of course. As bzzt had greater knowledge of various redstone mechanics and similar fields, the admin went to bzzt for help. The two of them often were together when certain things needed to be done, so with the admin gone, bzzt is the next best option.”

“Alright, so you’re going to see someone.”

“Was that not obvious? Bzzt definitely sounds like a name.”

[:)] shook his head. “Uh, no it does not. At the very least it doesn’t to me. I’m not even sure how to pronounce it even though I’ve just heard it.”

“Are two syllables that hard?”

“Two syl- Grum, every time you say the person’s name you’re just… making microwave noises or something.”

Grumbot paused. No, that couldn’t be right. It was definitely saying [:)]. But thinking back, the admin had also seemed confused at times. Had this been going on for a while? What else was affected? But that would be bad, so it couldn’t be happening. “You must be mistaken. There is no reason for a problem such as that.”

“Can you please come back? I can tell something is wrong and you still need repairs.”

“That can come after the revival has been fixed.”

“Then why aren’t you staying with Tommy. The problem is with him, right?” Mumbo asked. He had been asleep for the discussion about Ghostbur, but of course he was the one to find Xannes and Tommy in the first place.

“Bzzt cannot be helped until the problem is diagnosed. As Ghostbur is also having the same problem, answers may be with him. As the admin is gone, the next person to go to is bzzt.”

“To find answers about this Ghostbur person?”

“For instructions on it, yes. And bzzt will have those instructions.”

Mumbo sighed, he wasn’t really getting anywhere with this. “Grum, can you just come here?”

The robot hesitated for a moment, but it supposed that since [:)] was still a distance away, [:)] might work instead. It walked over and stood next to him, though it was wary about the fact that Jrum was in his arms.

Mumbo shifted Jrum into just one arm so he could put the other around Grumbot. “Thank you. Can you tell me how you’re doing?”

Grumbot looked up at [:)], screen starting to flicker between faces again. “H-have to f-fix th-things. C-can’t c-close programs. T-too many…”

“Can I see them?”

“L-look f-fast. C-console d-doesn’t like it…” Grumbot got out before a list of programs filled its screen.

Mumbo carefully set Jrum down to look through it all. There were a number of main programs open that all had their own sub categories of different programs. The one using the most memory was the console section. Opening it up, Mumbo saw just how much Grumbot was being used for. Player death counts, statistics, coordinates, time dilation, there was even a blacklist program, though that was currently disabled. Mumbo was pretty sure that was why they were able to get in now. 

Now the time dilation program, that was likely why it had been a month or so here while it was only a few days for him and the others. “Grum, is it possible to disable the time dilation?”

“Yes. Currently displacement is at 884%. It can be lowered or turned off entirely.”

“I’d much rather we turn it off entirely.”

Mumbo watched as the program changed to list it as disabled. “Displacement removed.”

Almost immediately, Mumbo could feel his communicator buzz. He pulled it out to see it listed NPG as having joined the world. A moment later, a message came in from him.

<NPG> Hi, no clue if this works here, but I am trying anyway!

<NPG> No one even really knows I’m here.

<EvilXisuma> it works

<FoolishG> Whomst

<NPG> But something happened to Tommy and now I’m here for help.

<NPG> Oh yay! Hi Xannes! And other person!

<NPG> What do you mean?

<NPG> You mean Tommy?

<EvilXisuma> Who are you talking to?

<NPG> I’m getting messages from someone called Console, though it looks different than a normal person.

<MumboJumbo> I’m guessing that’s from Grum.

<NPG> Oh! You found him?

<MumboJumbo> Yes. both of the boys are with me right now.

<Grian> Oh thank goodness

<Grian> So he came back?

<MumboJumbo> He went the other way and I chased after him. He was trying to find someone, but he had an issue saying their name

<NPG> Then yeah, probably Grum since they were trying to ask about Tommy but the name came out weird

<MumboJumbo> I’ll see if I can get him back to bed.

Mumbo put his communicator away and looked back to Grumbot. Its monitor no longer showed the list of programs and the face shown was no longer shifting. He carefully nudged Jrum. “Jrum, any chance you can wake up?”

The bot shifted. “Nooo. Don’t wanna.”

“Jrum, I need to carry your brother but I can’t carry both of you at once.”

“Why can’t he just walk?”

“He’s got a lot of programs running and I’m worried about his battery. Plus, he tried running off before, so I don’t want that happening again.”

At this, Grumbot spoke up. “It will not if bzzt can be brought as well. And if battery is a problem, a storm can be summoned for use of a trident.”

“Tri- Grum, is that what those holes in your body are from?!” Mumo’s eyes widened, his shout waking Jrum up all the way.

“Correct. The admin believes it is good for emergencies.”

“No. We are going back. Now.” Mumbo spoke in a serious tone, his face very pale. Jrum still felt tired, but could tell that it wasn’t the time for complaining and stood up to follow his daddy. Mumbo walked as fast as he could. He would run if he wasn’t worried about dropping Grumbot, not to mention his arms were getting a bit tired of carrying so much weight for so long already.

“Th-there’s s-something wr-wrong with m-me.” Grumbot spoke around when Mumbo could see the quartz mansion again.

“”I know Grum. We’re going to find a way to fix you.”

“N-no. N-not that… T-the a-admin. Dream. H-He’s… it h-hurts…”

“Don’t worry Grum. It’s going to be okay.”

Grian got ahead of everyone by flying back to the quartz mansion. He shouldn’t have even left there in the first place. But he had been running after Grum, hadn’t he. If Grumbot hadn’t gone a different way or tricked them, he would have been near his kid. Instead both of the bots were with Mumbo and he was chunks away.

He was pretty sure he was nearing the mansion again and started to slowly descend, but it quickly turned into a drop as a splitting headache came out of nowhere. Grian cursed and looked around with tears blurring his vision, aiming for the nearest body of water and hoping he hit it. And fortunately he did.

For a moment the headache cleared, but then it was back again and Grian gritted his teeth. “Alright, what do you want?”

‘Ah!’

“Why are you surprised? You’re the one trying to get my attention.”

‘I was? I mean, I guess I was.’

Grian pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh you’re new, aren’t you. Who let you be a Watcher? You sound pretty young.”

‘I don’t know. I guess I’ve just always been one. Perhaps I was just born one?’

“People aren’t just born as watchers.” Grian replied, though he actually wasn’t completely sure about that. “Well, what’s your name?”

‘Eyes. And you’re Grian?’

That made Grian pause. “Yes, how do you know that?”

‘I- We need some help. It’s about Console.’

“You mean Grum? We’re trying to help him already. He’s my son.”

‘Yes, I’m trying to help him too. But the admin is gone so we need a new one or a new console to replace Console.’

“Don’t call Grum that.”

‘I’m not sure what you mean.’

“You’re calling Grum ‘Console’ instead of using his name.” Grian half growled.

‘No. Grum is Grum. But Console is Console. They have been separated into different programs. Of course doing anything with Console right now is dangerous but-’

Grian forced away the Watcher communication, shaking the water out of his feathers as they shifted back to their normal colors. They quickly changed back as he quickly made a new portal and went in it, shooting a message to everyone first.

“Well look who it is. Didn’t expect to see you around.”

“Why do I always run into you first Lynn?” Grian complained about the other Watcher.

“Who knows? Maybe it’s your own fault and you just always make your way in near me.”

Grian sighed. “Look, I’m not really in the mood for this right now. Going through a bit of a crisis and I need some things.”

“Alright fine, what is it?”

“I’d rather talk to Noah, Pin or Goof. They’ve got a better chance of having what I need.”

Lynn crossed their arms. “Really, and you think I can’t help you Xel?”

“No, I don’t, because you still won’t call me Grian.” The avian glared before starting to walk off.

“Can I at least know? If I can’t help, no skin off your back. If I can, it gets the job done quicker.”

Grian groaned, but did relent and answered Lynn. “Alright fine. I’m hoping that the console from when Evo was starting is still around. We’ve got a world which was using one and a missing admin, but what they were using for a console needs to be… turned off.”

“So? Admin can leave their world even without a console and it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, but the admin got taken to hels.”

Lynn’s eyes widened a bit. “Okay yeah that would change things. Definitely puts the world in danger.”

“Which is why I’m after the console. Other thing I need is information on a new Watcher.”

“New Watcher?” Lynn asked, interest piqued. “How new?”

“New as in they had no clue what they were doing when they opened up communications and I responded.”

“Okay that’s something I can look into. What’s their name?”

“They said their name was Eyes.”

“Hmm, fitting.” Lynn said with a slight impressed nod. “Well, I’ll look into that. Pin’s in the library last I checked.”

“Good to know.” Grian answered, walking off to find Pin.

“Hello!” Tommy woke up with a start, Grian suddenly standing over him and having shouted. Tommy cursed and fell out of his bed, getting tangled in his sheets. He was about to curse out his brother when he realized it wasn’t really Grian.

“Oh, NPG. Why the fuck did you wake me up like that?”

“I thought it was important to wake you and I wasn’t sure if touching you would work.” NPG explained, before slowly poking Tommy’s shoulder. “Oh! It would have. My bad.”

Tommy groaned, wanting to go back to sleep. “Okay, so why did you need me awake?”

“I had some news for you! You see, I saw the messages from you earlier about being stuck and heard no one could figure it out, so I went to the place you and the others went to to tell them since you had been over there. Someone told me some coordinates and I got there and Xannes was there as well as you.”

“As well as what?!” Tommy shouted, waking some of the other hermits who were still there from the sleepover, especially since the sun hadn’t risen yet.

“Yeah, but it wasn’t fully you. Just your body I guess. It’s there and it’s breathing and stuff, but it’s like it’s stuck sleeping, meanwhile you’re here. And someone named Ghostbur is having the same problem.”

“He is?!”

“Oh, you know him?” NPG asked, to which Tommy nodded. “Well apparently he’s stuck in someone’s house because he was there looking for them, then suddenly he’s alive and can’t leave the place.”

“Have they figured out how to fix it yet?” Tommy asked, though he didn’t have much hope.

“No… not yet. They’re still helping Grum and Jrum.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Tommy sighed. The various hermits that had woken up started asking questions, but Tommy didn’t really want to answer them, so he let NPG take the lead as he got back into bed. It at the very least explained why he looked the way he did. He was essentially dead. 

He moved his hand to the wound in his gut. It doesn’t physically hurt, but thinking about it does. He knows he’s like Ghostbur and is forgetting the bad things, but his death is… happy. He’s looking down at Grum who’s about to kill him, but before it happened, Tommy got through to Grum and made Dream upset. He knew he was probably going to lose his last life there and yet he wasn’t scared.

In that moment, Tommy didn’t care. Sure, maybe part of him was used to respawning from Hermitcraft, or maybe he thought Grum wouldn’t actually kill him. But he had gotten killed, and it was to help his family. Normally that ended with getting betrayed. He supposed it technically did this time too, but that wasn’t Grum’s fault, it was Dream’s. 

It felt weird. He wasn’t dead, not really. He wasn’t a ghost like Ghostbur since he wasn’t see through and could actually touch things. He also wasn’t a zombie like Cleo because he definitely had a pulse. He guessed he was just something new, and that was a bit frightening since it meant none of them had any clue on how to help, but at the very least, he wasn’t alone.

Mumbo jumped up from his seat on Grum’s bed when Grian came in. The message he had gotten from the Watcher had really only made him more nervous, wondering why there was any emergency business for him. The redstoner was surprised to see a large rectangular black box in Grian’s arms, but guessed that it was related to the emergency. “Grian, is everything alright?”

Grian put the box on the ground. “Not everything, but it’s better. I got us a new console.”

Mumbo’s eyes widened and he looked over at the box. “Really? How did you find one?”

“It was left over from Evo. We only really needed it for the first few months, so once we were at a point where newer technology could be used, it was switched out. Pretty much no Watcher throws stuff away like this, so it was still hanging around mainly gathering dust.”

“Well hopefully this will work.” Mumbo looked the machine over. “I haven’t used one in ages, so it may take some trial and error.”

“If you need help, we could probably get Sam or Fundy.” Bad suggested. “Sam is good with redstone if that’s what you need. And I know Fundy has been around Grum a lot, so he might know something.”

Mumbo looked up at that. “Right! Fundy said he was being asked to ‘help’ with Grum. I’m guessing that’s who Grum was after.”

“Right, you did mention he was looking for someone. Do we have any idea where Fundy is?”

“Well…” Bad rubbed the back of his head. “Jrum sort of got him pulled into all the egg stuff, so he might be at his place, or he might be stuck with Sam. I only really got away since it’s sort of hard to stop someone of my size, especially with a child involved.”

“Yeah, parenthood does that.” Grian agreed. “So where would each of those places b-” Grian’s comm buzzed and he frowned angrily. Sure enough, coordinates from Eyes. “I guess that answers that.”

“More coordinates?” Mumbo asked, not looking up from the old console, busy trying to figure it out. 

“Yes.” Grian spoke, his voice filled with venom.

“Woah, what’s with you?”

Grian shoved his comm back into his pocket. “Whoever this Eyes person is, they’ve got Watcher powers and magic. They did something only other Watchers should be able to do. When I went to get the console, I also tried to figure out who they were, and there was absolutely nothing. There’s no reason there should be nothing, and yet there was. That means whoever this is isn’t a Watcher, but has the magic of one, which is bad news.”

“Like we need anything more going on.” Bad sighed, earning noises of agreement. 

“I guess I’ll head over there since I’m fastest anyhow.” Grian sighed. “I guess see you in a bit.”

“Don’t get into too much trouble.” Mumbo warned. He knew Grian likely wouldn’t, but it was more something to try and give things a lighter tone. And based on Grian’s response, it seemed to work.

“You know I’ll never make promises about that.” He gave a small smirk, then left, flying off.

[weaselbeaselpants]

I have a lot to say and not enough time to say it. It hurts, but ya’ll know what this is about so if you want my full fandom retrospective opinion thing guys, here.

I’ve been following Vivienne’s art and career since I found her on dA in 2009. I’ve basically grown up with her and have a wide range of opinions up and down her collective work. I must stress that I do not know her as a person and no matter how critical I get in my personal time if I somehow met her in real life or converse with her online again (like, back in the day we went back and forth. She was pretty nice to me), I’d be humble and congratulate her for her success.

Critique does not, EVER equate to attacking people.

But

the reason I don’t call myself a VivziePopVivzmind-fan is the exact same as to why I don’t like the proud use of ‘anti’. Let me try and explain -

The vast majority of Viv fans are just that: fans. Viv’s one of their favorite artists and they’re happy for her and obviously defensive when some mouth breather pops into their fan discussion calling her and all of them trash. Quite a lot of the Hazbin fans I know in my circle of friends are all pretty accepting and agree on the problematic notions and implications of her work.

HOWEVER, there’s a vocal minority in the VivziePop fandom that were and still are toxic. Their specific interest in Viv back in the day was toxic...and now that she’s moved on into a successful career I doubt they’ve gone away, considering the things I’ve heard. These people - they’d flood Viv’s comments sections and stuff with messages like they were talking to her when they weren’t and they’d unironically call her a god in a way that feels like gaslighting, ex: “I’ll NEVER be as good as you Viv! My art is just sooooo unpopular oh god you are incredible no one will ever like you as much as meeeee”. It made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be around her because these people took Viv’s role in their lives so seriously and their demand for her attention...it struck a nerve.

These same fans have been around long enough to see actual shitlords - the likes of Kiwifarms and tapatalk wikis - come in and actually harass Viv. Viv’s been sent revenge porn by sick freaks who think they’re funny and believe she deserves it. No. In my non-name fan bystander opinion, Viv’s got some shit to work on, but no one deserves raperevenge porn. EVER. It was genuinely bad and yes Viv and her base have every reason to NOT TRUST these communities. Unfortunately, when these incidents happened, these particular fans took it upon themselves to gatekeep the fandom and act like Viv’s unofficial guard against any kind of decenting opinion of her, all without her say so.

((to the critics who will be all “but Viv or Faust said THIS to their fans-”, like I said, Viv’s far from perfect but regardless of how much she prolly wanted people to side with her I’m gonna guess that she didn’t want people sending transphobic death threats to DollCreep. Again, and this is coming from a bystander here, I have a feeling Viv knows about some of the toxicity but doesn’t know how/want to address it - which is a conversation all it’s own.))

This particular breed of VivziePop “fan” holds so much toxicity in her fandom(s). They aren’t the only cause, but they’re there. They feel entitled to her attention and her approval. They creep me out. Having spoken to other much-less critical admitted fans of Viv around me, these fans appear to creep everyone else out and put the rest of the fandom on edge. They’re gatekeepers. They’re creeps. Like the bronies and SU fans of yestertodayyears, they know harassment exists and that people have crossed the line - so they think any means is necessary to prevent that is automatically good. I could pile together all the incidents and folks who’ve had bad runs ins with this aftershock of Viv-obsession, but I do have a life of my own and this post is already stupid long so I’ll just list out the biggest examples and provide receipts when asked.

Critical blogs have gotten RAPE and death threats because they don’t like Viv’s art. HonestZoophobiaCriticisms, a blog I interracted with back in the day, def got one. Now Viv’s opinion of crit-blogs is that they’re “bad takes” but I can assure you she doesn’t want that shit being said on her behalf.

I’ve seen young artists get blacklisted from sites and forums cause they so much as post a redesign. Viv and co get told through the grapevine that someone’s making hatespeech and so preemptively block said person (prolly cause they’re in the middle of WORKING and can’t deal right now) only to find out after the fact that no, it was just a kid drawing their version of her characters. There’s serious miscommunication issues within the fandom about who’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and once you get the actual staff involved in this game of telephone you’re begging for trouble. The problem acknowledged, however, it’s souly from the “Viv never did anything wrong camp”. No word is said about how ugly the fandom is under the surface it’s all one type of person’s fault and not complicated’. Blah

I’ve only ever had ONE obsessive ‘fan’ who’d stalk me, mock me, and then redraw my art just to get attention from me. That shit fucked with my head. As a follower hundreds of miles away from Viv who’s agreed/disagreed with her through the years - I absolutely believe her when she says she hates ‘creeps’ and that she doesn’t want anyone in her fandom spreading hate on her behalf. It’s the one thing about her I’m POSITIVELY sure of. Whether she believes that said underlying harassment exists and/or is even a problem within her fandoms is anyone’s guess. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to write stupid blog entries like this, talk about fandoms and media and how they and the real world affect one another, and rb fan art I like. I’m cautiously optimistic fan with a side of salt.

Mixed opinions and critique within a fandom CAN and SHOULD exist. Hazbin Hotel has been greenlit by a studio! It has a product line of merchandise you buy. Helluva Boss is getting eight more episodes this coming year (yeeee:3yeeee). Two of Viv’s properties are now products. Nothing is immune from critique. And in critique you will find a lot of people who are not ‘nice’. Critique or analysis doesn’t have to be nice. There will be, in Viv’s words’ ‘bad takes’ on her writing. Maybe they will be actual CinemaSins-styled bad takes or maybe Viv is just mad that people don’t love and feel inspired by her characters the way she wants them to - it’s a fact she’s going to have to get used to.

((TBH, I’m pretty sure she’s already realized that criticism of all types need to exist. It’s just that, again, her and the SpindleHorse staff are kind of overwhelmed by all matter of takes and opinions coming their way they kinda can’t deal weeding out the fair ones from the assholes, so she lumps them all together.))

Shitposters, ironic fans, unironic fans, critical fans, just critics of Hazbin and Helluva CAN and WILL exist. They should exist and not feel threatened by the megafandom. There are people out there who are one step further and rightfully bothered by Hazbin/Helluva’s use of incorrect symbols, portrayal of certain topics, and the response by creators. These people have strong opinions and are actually disgusted by Viv. They deserve to exist too and should not be vilified because, like me, they’re commentary doesn’t consist of anything personal towards the people at Spindlehorse or the fans of her works. They can rant, they can be professional, they can be petty and they can be fair. But they will exist. You have to deal with it.

I am an ADD/OCD ridden autistic woman with serious anxiety issues who has no one to talk to half the time and so only HAS my fandom to communicate with. But that’s just it - it’s a fandom. A community. You have to learn to not think souly of yourself and of others in a community. A fandom doesn’t exist just for you or any one person. You have the right to be angry and defend or be offended. And it’s in the spirit of that that I ask, prrraaaaaay even, that I please

NOT BE CALLED AN “ANTI-ANTI” for not liking the moniker?!

I DON’T TO BE AN “ANTI”. Not ironically, not unironically. ‘Anti’ should be for politics and shit like pedophiles, necrophiles, nazis, serial killer stans, Trump, racists, antisemites, terfs, animal abusers, rapists, and antivaxxers. Anti should only come into critical media analysis when these ethical issues follow suit IN TO fandom discussion. ((EX: Anime and MLP proudly waving their cp and non-con into the public eye; Hazbin appropriating cultural symbols which are not satanic; Basically anything that concerns John K or Butch Hartman.))

If your DNI list unironically consists of the entirety of one fandom:  CONGLATURATIONS! You have done the exact same thing these particular creepy Viv fans have done: monopolize the conversation. And yes, people I’m referring to, IT’S STILL A PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU’RE FIGHTING RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOTRANSPHOBIA.

There are hundreds of Vivziefans who ARE more critical, accepting of faults, interested in discussion and especially rewrite and redesign stuff who would LOVE to engage with you and give you a follow. There’s hundreds of people who no doubt agree with you!

But the thing I’ve seen these very proud AntiHazbinVivzieHelluvaWhatever blogs do is lash out at fans for continuing to like Viv and consume Viv’s art in a healthy way. What the actual fuck is your problem?

I get it. Say a crazy Hazbin fan gets on your case for even SUGGESTING Viv could be homophobic ((”SHE’SBIANDWORKSWITHGAYPPLblahablahblah”)). They get in your face, make some callouts, try to rile up support against you, leave disgusting harassment throughout your social media? Absolutely ban worthy. After that it’s perfectly understandable why you don’t want to engage with anything HHHBZPVivzierelated because you’re so fucking tired of being labeled an abuser or “just jealous” for having an opinion on a show you don’t like. I’m with you!

But,

A fan agrees that something in the canon is bad or that Viv did something they don’t like?

A fan likes your silly shitpost meme?

A fan asks if they can like Hazbin and follow you at the same time? 

A fan does fan art of something you don’t like?

If your response to any of these ^^^ things is to get LOUD and accusatory, Vivsplain them about how they’re an absolutely awful person to ever question YOUR opinion, or just block them without a second thought? You’re a petty, vendictive shit and you also need to learn to let things go. I’m sorry but you do. As I already said, Viv’s work is a brand at this point, not just the work of a singular person. As such, there are gonna be mixed opinions and you can’t judge every single one of these people by what they like. You’re a shitty critic with a shitty attitude and yes that will demean the value of what you’re saying. This is bad because, if you’re trying to point out how Angel Dust’s abuse IS handled terribly; gay rep in Viv’s work is weak and terrible; the show appropriates closed practices; the fandom makes excuses for predatory artists and creepy behavior and individuals who have sketchy pasts - I’M WITH YOU. WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE ADULT CARTOONS SET IN HELL MEANS THERE SHOULD BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO 2013 PONY-TUMBLR. <<<---- this shit is as important to me as it is to you and I really don’t like being called an abuser or apologist for saying “hey maybe blowing up at ppl for the shows they like ISN’T the way to go about this”. 

But I have, just like the good old days of 2015 Zoophobia of yore, been blocked because I admit to being tired of ‘Anti’ being equated to ‘critical’. Same with hater.

Critical DOES NOT = Anti+Hater. I’m fucking tired of people saying it does and I’m tired of people taking up the term as some weird form of fandom reappropriation. It’s stupid.

Tl;dr: Once upon a time, I was in a budding fandom for something I liked made by an indie artist I watched on dA. I wanted to be a bigger fan than I was already, but was told by toxic people within said fandom that I couldn’t be part of it for reasons they’d made up in their head about my ‘motives’ against Viv. My admiration for Viv or what I liked about Zoophobia didn’t matter because I thought the story was really rushed and people weren’t being truthful with how they really felt about it - ergo, I HAD TO GO. 

Flash forward 8 years later- My opinion of Viv’s body of work has changed but I still find myself in love with her style and some of her characters. I want to be on a forum or service that gives a healthy look at the problems there are with this series and fandom...and I’m met repeatedly by petty bs where people are again at each other’s throats. And yes, I do think it’s causing more harm than good especially when you insist there’s a “x person shouldn’t be trusted” mentality when fighting actual fucking racist, xenophobic, predatory bullshit.

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

[goodbyenorthernlights]

🔥 + fruits basket :V

I really have been enjoying this franchise A LOT, minus Natsuki Takaya's unfortunate kink for pairing teenaged girls with adult men (which seriously undermines the series themes of developing psychological health, 'cuz like... there is no way a middle school girl getting married to her teacher is going to be healthy.)

(Also some of the weird gender shit and slapstick stuff that hasn't aged well...)

But like. Overall I think it's a really well done character drama that explores the thoughts and feelings of its cast members in a way I find fascinating to watch. All of the characters are interesting in their own right and the way they develop personally and the way the relationships grow and change is very satisfying to watch.

It very much scratches an itch I have for character drama ensembles that I have trouble finding. I love stories which stop and ruminate on the internal worlds of their characters, and I love that it has a recurring theme of "everyone has their own shit going on."

I'm kind of sad though that because it's a series primarily about trauma and recovering from abuse, it's... kind of hard to show it to my friends, on top of the 90s Anime Bullshit. Like I don't want to blindside people but also if I list out every single bad thing that is referred to or shown, it probably just sounds like an endless misery parade, and I like it enough that it makes me sad to think of trying to show it to someone and getting a like. Slow backing-away in response.

Especially since this show is definitely influencing my own writing and helping me clarify how/what I want to write, so there's this fear that what I write isn't going to be acceptable to other people. Like you can only allude to trauma, and if you want to sit with it or really talk about it in a story then it's too unpleasant to look at.

Also on a side note I wish the manga fans would stop going into the tags constantly to talk about how angry and disappointed they are that the pacing in the final season has been changed from the manga. It's annoying and is making it harder for me to judge the third season on its own, which is what I wanted to do before I started reading the manga.

On a similar fandom salt note, anti-Shigure people. Yes, Akigure is weird and problematic and arguably a case of grooming. This was probably not intentional on the author's part and a side effect of how shojo, especially at the time, has this romanticized idea of Older Men, and yes, that's unfortunate.

No, we don't need to constantly bring it up. Shigure is a fictional character. He is not going to prey on the readers and the cops are not going to come and arrest him if you bring enough attention to the issue. The narrative is written and done, and the criticism has likewise been written and done. Dwelling on it at this point is just you trying to pick fights.

Add his name to your blacklist and block his fans if you really can't stand the idea that people feel differently about him than you. You don't get to dictate other people's feelings.

[lizzibennet]

hello!! about the thing on nsfw content on tumblr. I agree with the sexualizing minors thing, but the art was tagged and there we’re warnings... even though there are minors on the site, if they ignore a warning I think they are at least prepared to deal with the posts. and if they don’t understand what the warnings mean, should they really be on the internet?

nope, the art was not tagged properly! also, if you’re talking about the sideblogs, the blogs were not private or flagged, so even though the post would be blocked by blacklist, you could happen upon it via google search/other search engines.

kids aren’t “prepared to deal with” things, that’s the entire point. they think they are but they are not, when i was 13 i thought i was prepared to deal with explicit portrayals of sex when i was just chillin on the tumbz and i see now that i was not. the entire point is that we’re adults and we know better and we must do everything in our power to protect kids, which, as i said, was not done - blog was public, easily accessible, associated with the main tags etc. you can’t put that responsibility on the kids - that is on us.

should they really be on the internet? look, if this was game of thrones where explicit depictions of everything from explicit sex to murder to rape is shown i’d agree that not only a) not discussing these is missing key points from the show  but b) the show itself is rated R, meaning whatever minors that watched it did so against the show itself’s recommendation, but the point is that this is not game of thrones. percy jackson is a CHILDREN’S book, whether you like that title or not. it isn’t even ya where more mature themes are touched upon, it’s straight up children’s lit. no sexual themes are seriously referenced, the characters are all minors, and it’s aimed at minors. the content you make online about it will be reaching minors more than other people and it is your duty to act responsibly when that’s the case. as i said, it’s your responsibility, not anyone else’s. “but i don’t want my content to reach minors first!” okay then build your audience accordingly and flag your fucking blog. these blogs were easily accessible, i know that, you know that, and they shouldn’t have been. 

if they don’t understand the meaning should they be on the internet? do you blame the kids that were googling my little pony because they’re KIDS and have an interest and happened upon brony porn? of COURSE not, how could they have avoided it if the porn was tagged with the name of the very fandom it was inserted into? do you see what i’m saying? of COURSE they don’t understand. they’re kids! that’s the fucking point! do you expect kids NOT to be on the internet at all?? they WILL be, which is why this stuff shouldn’t be public, not when it comes to a fandom filled with minors. 

i know a lot was “allowed” on this website on ye olden days, but that doesn’t mean it was okay. i was here, i saw it, i laughed at it back then, and now i don’t think it was okay. we’re the kids that were here back then and we need to have the discernment to understand that the responsibility of making the internet safer for the kids of today is ours. who gets that better than ourselves?

i mean i’m not even touching on why it’s creepy to age up characters to have them have sex because that’s not the point you’re bringing up. so to answer your question: i don’t know if children SHOULD be on the internet, but i know that they WILL be, therefore i will make every effort possible to ensure any minor who happens upon my blog has a safe, pleasant experience. i will not associate with this culture that normalizes porn. i refuse to. if you don’t - be my guest, but don’t blame the kids. blame the only person who should be held accountable: yourself.

[tbhwhocaresanymore]

God I’ve never done this before, but hi @bnsammydee. As you have probably guessed from the tags, I’m your blacklist secret santa! I have written for you the following Keenler fic (about 3k words), which in the holiday spirit I have done my best to make very cute and fluffy. Happy holidays!

Agent Alina Park liked to think she was a fairly observant person, and she knew she was at least a lot more intelligent than your average John. Add that to a sparsely-indulged love of gossip – fed only through tabloids – and she was afraid she may be reading just a tad too much into her coworkers’ relationship.

Every time Liz and Ressler were in the same room, there was a plethora of small moments. They didn’t so much stare at each other as constantly look over to the other one, seeking reassurance or understanding or a smile at a secret joke. While working together in the field they practically read each other’s minds; and although from what Alina had seen so far Liz seemed to be an island unto herself, she depended on Ressler without thinking twice about it.

Right now they were going over a case report together, standing a smidge closer than absolutely necessary, shoulders and upper arms almost touching.

“Deep in concentration I see.”

Alina blinked, losing her train of thought as she turned to see Aram teasing her. She realized she had been staring at Liz and Ressler for upwards of five minutes, brow narrowed and mouth slightly open, and blushed. “Just thinking.”

“Thinking?”

“Yes. Thinking… thoughts.”

Aram glanced over to where Ressler was stealing a look at the back of Liz’s neck, and lowered his voice. “Please tell me you see it too.”

“Liz and Ressler?” When he nodded, relief flooded through her shoulders. “Thank God, I thought I might be imagining it!”

“I know!” He moved around so he was hovering over her shoulders, Liz and Ressler oblivious to their observation, indeed oblivious to anyone that wasn’t their partner.

“It’s all so chaste half the time,” Alina whispered, “just these little secret smiles and stolen glances. But they’re both so serious, I could never be sure if it was just a good friendship or something more. It’s been driving me crazy.”

Aram gave a derisive snort. “Oh, you think it’s been driving you crazy? You’ve worked here less than seven weeks, I’ve worked with them for seven years.”

She felt her eyes widen in disbelief. “Have they been this bad all that time?”

“Well, not all the time,” he relented. “Liz was married to a sociopath for a while, became a fugitive, and had a kid, so that was a whole thing. But like, 95% of the time I’ve known them both? Yeah, it’s been this bad.”

As they spoke, Ressler closed the file and headed off to go see Cooper, giving Liz the barest touch to the back of her shoulders as he did so.

“I can’t possibly take seven more years of this,” she hissed at Aram, recoiling at the very thought. “I’m this close to locking them both in a room as it is.”

“Well what do you propose we do?” Aram muttered, watching Liz look over at Ressler’s retreating form before turning her focus back to her paperwork.

Alina’s eyes landed upon the calendar hanging on the wall, marking the date as less than a week before Christmas. She began to smile. “I might have an idea.”

*

Liz eyed the decorations distastefully. “Isn’t the federal government prohibited from endorsing any one kind of religion?”

Aram and Park gave her rather pitying glances over the fairy lights on the desktop computer. “It’s not like we’re chopping down a Christmas tree, it’s just some pretty lights and Velcro snowmen. To help everyone get in the holiday mood.”

Liz looked to her left to share a disbelieving expression with Ressler. He appeared as turned off as she was. Apparently their lack of enthusiasm was palpable, because Aram hurriedly continued his defense of the new office décor. “Besides it’s mostly for me. Samar and I would always grab a drink and she’d help me decorate my apartment during this time of year, and I guess I was feeling nostalgic.” He sighed rather theatrically and Liz saw Park step on his foot, causing him to wince. “I can take it down if it really bothers you guys that much.”

Liz stopped herself from sighing. “No it’s fine Aram, just as long as it doesn’t get us fired.”

Ressler scowled. “If I hear any carolers I’m resigning,” he warned, before walking off.

“No danger of that, they’d take one look at you and run away,” Aram muttered. Park choked on her coffee, prompting Aram to thump her on the back.

Reluctantly acknowledging it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, Liz resigned herself to the admittedly subtle festivities and headed over to her office. She noted a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the doorway as she entered and scoffed, reaching up to tear it down. But something stilled her hand at the last second and she quickly dropped it back to her side, hoping no one had noticed the movement.

She was rearranging her files when Ressler came in, swallowing when she saw him notice the plant in the doorframe. “Is that mistletoe?” he demanded.

Liz gave a very casual shrug. “I must’ve missed it.”

He made a displeased sound, but left it alone. Conflicting emotions of relief and confusion tangled inside her chest, and she immediately returned to her own work, hoping they would die down.

And the feelings did die down, at least for a couple of hours, until she and Park were going over witness statements for a museum robbery. The newest agent chose that moment to whisper in a conspiratorial voice, “Is it just me or does Ressler look hotter than usual today?”

“What?” Distracted, Liz knocked the folder off the desk, the papers sliding across the smooth floor. She swore under her breath and knelt down to pick them up, Park moving to help. Hoping furiously she wasn’t blushing, Liz tried to get the pages back in some semblance of organization as they stood up. “Thanks.”

Park nodded before looking at her expectantly, head tilted like an inquisitive bird. “So?”

Thoughts still slightly in disarray, Liz played ignorance. “What?”

Park leaned in close and grinned like they were high school sophomores. “I said, is it just me or does Ressler look hotter than usual today?”

“I don’t – I hadn’t – why would I notice, I don’t –” Liz floundered for an answer, wondering desperately where her normally comprehensive vocabulary had gone before forcefully pulling herself together. “I’m not sure that’s entirely appropriate.”

Park dismissed this with a wave of her hand. “It’s not like I’m propositioning him in the interrogation room, just stating the obvious. Him in suits is nice to look at and all, but dressed like this?” She shook her head. “Damn.”

Certain her face was on fire, Liz managed a shrug. “I hadn’t really noticed.”

She received an unconvinced look. “Do you have eyes?”

Ruefully, Liz laughed. “I do have eyes, and I will admit he looks good in the outfit. It’s just, he’s Ressler. My first reaction to seeing him is not normally ‘hot damn he looks good today’.” Only on days when he’s dressed like this.Ressler did indeed look good in suits, but in winter months when he wore an overcoat on top, or when he was expecting to take a tumble and wore a shirt with long dark sleeves like today, Liz often found herself taking very cold showers later that night.

“Well what is your typical first reaction then?” Park pressed.

Hey Ressler, is there any chance you could pin me up against the wall and kiss me so hard I forget my own name?“It’s generally something along the lines of ‘oh look it’s Ressler’,” Liz said instead. “‘I wonder how he’s been doing in the four to eight hours since I saw him last’.”

Thankfully, Park let the subject drop, and they wrapped out the day with minimal talk of personal lives or feelings. After they did all they could for the day, the task force was wrapping up and she and Aram extended an invitation. “We thought it could be fun if the four of us all went out for drinks,” said Aram, looking excited. “That bar a couple blocks down that only shows bowling on the television?”

“You mean Smithy’s?” she guessed. Park and Aram were going regardless, and Liz was always in the mood to get drunk and contemplate how shitty her life was. “I’m in.”

“I’ll come too,” said Ressler.

Liz and Park grabbed their purses, and the group bundled up and took the elevator to the surface.

The late December evening was coupled with a light snow and a brisk wind, and so they walked hurriedly down the sidewalk. Park and Aram were glued to each other’s side, and so Liz fell into step beside Ressler. He held open the door for her when they reached Smithy’s, and it made her stomach clench. Damn it, but she’d always had a weakness for chivalry.

Aram suggested a drinking game, Park came up with two truths and a lie, one thing lead to another and before Liz knew it she had downed four shots and was riding one hell of a buzz.

“Okay okay okay okay okay, it is Agent Ressler’s turn,” said Aram.

Park giggled drunkenly. “Yeah, Super Special FBI Agent Ressler.”

Liz got the sense he was mostly just going along with this because he didn’t have to pay, but she was still impressed with how he was being such a good sport. He also knew Aram remarkably better than she’d suspected.

Ressler ran a finger around the rim of one of his empty shot glasses. “When I was seventeen I crashed a motorcycle, I chipped my tooth playing basketball as a kid, and I can run a six minute mile.”

“Second one is a lie, you have perfect teeth,” said Park immediately.

Ressler shrugged. “Any other guesses?”

Aram shook his head, looking a bit like a dog with water in its ears. “Second one, you don’t seem like a basketball kid.”

He met her eyes. “Keen?”

Liz held his gaze, doing her best to run through all the things she knew about him, all the personal details he’d dropped, stories he’d shared. “The first one’s a lie.”

Ressler didn’t blink. “Is that your final answer?”

“It is.” Her heart felt a bit like it had clawed its way into her throat, but she somehow managed not to choke on her words.

His face split into a grin. “My cousincrashed a motorcycle when I was seventeen, which is why I never ride them.”

Liz clapped her hands and threw them in the air. “Drink up losers.”

After they each took a couple more turns – apparently Aram had over sixteen cavities and Park had once skydived from a height of 18,000 feet – Aram went to go get a new round of drinks. Liz was not entirely sure this was a good idea, as Park looked like she was about to fall off her chair. “So, Super Special Agent Ressler,” she drawled, slightly slurring her words. “Liz and I were talking earlier, and we agree you look particularly hot today.”

One minute words were leaving Park’s mouth, the next there was the feeling of being in midair before Liz crashed into the floor.

She blinked, disoriented, and realized Ressler was kneeling next to her, his arm around her back. “Liz, are you all right?”

She tried to nod, focusing on his somehow clear eyes. “Have you had less to drink than us?” she accused.

His lips twitched. “I figured at least one of us should be able to tell left from right.”

Liz rubbed the hip she’d fallen on. “Cheater,” she muttered as he helped her back onto the chair. Park looked pleased with herself, though Liz couldn’t figure out why.

“So you think I’m hot today?”

Liz groaned, before glaring at Park. “Those were her words, not mine.”

“You didn’t disagree,” the younger agent snickered. Liz made a mental note to get her fired when they were both sober. “Anyway, you do look totally hot. Shirts like that do great things for your shoulders.”

“You do realize this is going to go straight to his ego,” Liz deadpanned.

“No please, keep going,” Ressler grinned into his glass. “This is the most fun I’ve had in weeks.”

Liz made a face. “I feel that speaks to your lack of a social life more than anything else.”

“Says the woman who’s practically agoraphobic.”

“I am notafraid of spiders!”

He laughed. “No, Keen, agoraphobia is the fear of social situations.”

Liz swatted at him. “I knew that.”

Aram got back with the drinks, but Park stopped him before handing them out. “Let’s switch it up. I vote for… Never Have I Ever.”

Ressler groaned. “It’s like high school all over again.”

“Speak for yourself, some of us didn’t get invited to any parties in high school,” quipped Aram. For some reason this struck Liz as enormously funny, and she laughed hard enough she almost fell off her chair again. But this time rather than tilting in the direction of open space, she tilted in the direction of her partner, and he wrapped an arm around her waist to make sure she didn’t fall.

“Easy there Liz,” he murmured, his lips a hairs breadth away from her ear.

Liz could practically feel as every ounce of rational thought left her brain, and moved over so she was sitting on his lap. She felt his chest hitch beneath her fingers as she draped her right arm over his shoulder for balance. “What?” she asked in her most innocent voice as he looked at her in a state of semi-shock. “I clearly can’t be trusted to take care of myself in this state.”

Ressler didn’t answer just kept looking at her, hand still wrapped securely on her waist, before turning back to the other two who were looking simply delighted. Aram drummed his hands on the table. “I’ll go first. Never have I ever punched someone in the face.” Everyone else immediately drank, and Aram looked vaguely disappointed in them all.

Ressler went next. “Never have I ever shot the attorney general.”

Liz whipped around to give him a betrayed look. “Seriously?”

His eyes twinkled at her. “Drink up Keen.”

Keeping eye contact the entire time, Liz downed the shot. “My turn,” she said emphatically. “Never have I ever hired a date to my cousin’s wedding.”

Now it was Ressler’s turn to look betrayed. “Low blow.”

Her smile widened. “Drink up honey.”

Ressler drank, his throat bobbing as he swallowed and Liz felt her mouth go dry.

“My turn,” said Park, and Liz turned to look at her, realizing too late her expression was entirely too smug. “Never have I ever been in love with a coworker.”

Dimly, Liz thought that Aram should probably drink, but all she could look at was the glass in Ressler’s hand. In her periphery, she could see that he was looking at her. Then she saw him raise the glass up to his lips and swallow. She met his eyes as he put it down. “What’ll it be Liz?” His voice was thick.

Liz reached blindly towards the table for a shot glass, and quickly swallowed it down. Her face burned, her throat burned, her lips burned where his eyes flickered to them; every part of her burned. She wanted someone to set her on fire. Aram and Park stood and walked over to the bar, Liz thought they may have given an excuse but she didn’t care, she was incapable of caring about absolutely anything when Ressler was looking at her like that, the way he always looked at her, the way he’d been looking at her for years now.

She leaned in to press her lips to his, cautiously, afraid of his rejection despite the alcohol surging through her veins. But his hand came up to gently cup her cheek, and now she could let herself lean into it. His lips were soft and tasted like scotch, she pulled herself closer to him, feeling their chests press together as his own grip on her tightened. He bit down softly on her lower lip and she moaned into the feeling, opening up more fully to him.

Eventually they broke apart, both panting, foreheads touching. When Liz could bring herself to open her eyes, she saw he was staring at her again. She summoned her courage. “Never have I ever gone home with someone after a first kiss.”

His eyes darkened. “Let’s fix that.” * Alina clinked her glass with Aram’s as their two coworkers got up from where they were practically grinding on a chair, threw on their jackets and hastily made their way to the door.

“Very impressive,” her co-conspirator praised. “How’d you do it?”

Alina laughed. “Holidays plus unresolved feelings plus alcohol and just a little bit of meddling tends to yield good results.”

“Hopefully they don’t both wake up in the morning and decide to pretend it never happened,” he muttered, throwing back a drink in one go.

Alina shook her head. “They won’t.”

He raised his eyebrows. “And how do you know that?”

She shook a chastising finger at him. “Haven’t you learned by now not to question me?”

Aram raised his hands in surrender. “My apologies. Am I forgiven?”

She laughed. “Oh, what the hell. It’s Christmas.”

[megalodont]

tag people you want to get to know better

tagged by @captain-apostrophe​ 

your name and then what you would have named yourself: even in real life people suspect this isn’t my real name, but my dad really put “paris” on my birth certificate and tbh i love it! i’m even lucky enough that it’s considered “unisex” by society at large

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): scorpio

when did you join tumblr and why?: umm, 2016 i think? i joined for fandom reasons, i just liked looking at art of shows i was into. who knew it would practically become a way of life for me? i did have a different tumblr in 2010 but i entirely just reblogged ~aesthetic pictures and never experienced any of the tumblr discourse i’ve heard went on during that time 

top 5 fandoms: uhh, i go so hard for one thing at a time so i’ll pick the top five of all time, even if i don’t interact much with them anymore. i was into voltron during the first few seasons, and i am pretty good at curating my dash so i didn’t have a toxic time of it bc i blocked so many people and blacklisted so many terms. i fell out of it pretty quickly around s4? or was it s5. haikyuu, my favourite anime, was a big one for a while, and i definitely fucked with boku no hero academia for a time. ummm oh, captain america had my ass for a while, and of course i haven’t had a non-mdzs-related thought in about a year now lol. 

top 5 favorite films: howl’s moving castle, the lotr trilogy (count as one movie!), ponyo, mulan, uhhhhh treasure planet. 

go to song when you wanna Feel something: hmm. welly boots?

what’s your religion or faith if you have one?: uhh, if i had to describe myself i think i’d say...spiritual agnostic. is that a thing? 

a song that makes you feel seen: tardigrade song by cosmo sheldrake? lol. or spat out spit by lady lamb

if you could have any career: uhh, ANY career? hmm. 1900s lighthouse keeper. whatever it was maria von trapp was hired to do. fire lookout. 

do you have a type?: hm. kind, smart, can make me laugh? or are we talking physically bc in that case no

what does your heart/soul yearn for: more time

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone who doesn’t know you: cheerful, not bothered, yet anxious

favorite subjects in school: english across the board

where does your soul feel most at home: curled up in a nook, safe and unperceived

top 5 fictional characters: the hardest question i’ve ever been asked. okay if i go for a spread of things....... lan jingyi (mdzs), keladry of mindelan (protector of the small), nishinoya yu (haikyuu), oreki houtarou (hyouka), ummm. scorpia (she-ra princess of power. i have only watched 1 season of the show but i love her)

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: this is an impossible question, i literally, literally cry whenever i watch anything. uhhhhhhh umm, oh shit. boromir’s death. that scene in gallipoli 1981 where what’s his name is seconds too late to save his bud. um um um. there were several in the untamed. yi city maybe?  

the earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the moon, my ancient darling

favorite kind of weather: snowstorm, freezing and windy as hell. yes i live in australia where this doesn’t happen, yes i’m sad about it.  

top 3 characters you kin with: i don’t know? uhhh. UHH. maybe lan xichen? i wouldn’t say i kin him but i think there are objective similarities on a personality level. aizawa shouta, bc i’m tired and would die for those kids.   

favorite medium of art: prose:) 

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: true introvert, just look at my career choices. not that i’d turn you down if you wanted to hold my hand.  

a favorite literary quote: fuck, idk. uhhhh. pass my brain is mush right now

some of your favorite books: oh god don’t put me on the spot. suddenly i’ve forgotten every book i’ve ever read. um, Guards Guards by Terry Pratchett, Trickster’s Queen by Tamora Pierce, Crocodile on the Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Prince’s Gambit by C.S. Pacat.... and 500 other things i ca’nt remeber right now

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: Whistler, BC. or any other remote town in the pacific northwestern mountains. although a very close second would be a remote town in scandinavia, say, töreboda, sweden. i like snow and pine forests and bears and i hate people.  

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: the boring answer is that as a queer afab who enjoys having access to modern medicine uh, i’d choose now. but the fun answer, like if i could live in a tv version of that time or something.........hm. the part of me which yearns to escape capitalism and modernity’s complexities would say like. 800bce. just want to like. sit around spinning thread all day. 

if you could play any instrument masterfully it would be: pipe organ bitch

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you feel a connection to: hmmmmm. dionysus was neither male nor female, treated his wife well, and encouraged his female devotees to tear men apart with their hands, so. i’d say him. 

and lastly, favorite recent selfie in your camera roll: i’ve never taken a selfie i liked bro 

and i'll tag @greymouser13 and @plotwitch if you guys wanna!

[gravitasfalls]

A rant on fandom etiquette, the GF fandom, and what they did 4 years ago (and now)

By now, my “bullshit” tag has refuted most of the ridiculous hot takes, fun policing, and harassment that fans of Stanford Pines have had to face from the wider Gravity Falls fandom. But these rebuttals fall short of naming the real problem with anti-Ford wank: we never should have seen it in the first place.

People might have genuinely forgotten this, but fandom used to have etiquette against character hate. We called it “wank” and “bashing” instead of dignifying it as “discourse”. As late as 2014, fandoms on this very site had “X hate” or “anti-X” tagging systems for blacklisting, as courtesy to people who liked X thing...

...a far cry from GF fans of 2015 demonizing Ford in the most inexplicable ways, making every post a platform for that, siccing their followers on anyone fully positive about him, then pretending that never happened post-finale as they continue the bashing more insidiously to this day.

Like, what even was that? There’s a lot to unpack in those people’s arguments but let’s just throw out the whole suitcase.

(Under the cut: Snapshots of discourse I shouldn’t have had to put up with over the years, and snark-based coping with that. It gets ugly, you’ve been warned.)

Ford is irredeemable/deserves to suffer, why he didn’t even thank Stan!!1

Thanks I hate it! “It” being your apparent decision that, because you can’t make the fictional character suffer, real people who like him are the next best thing.

Ford is egotistical! Have I mentioned on literally every post I think his only trait is “egotistical”?

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. But while that is just, like, your opinion man, you’re entitled to it on your own posts; you’re falsely entitled about it by forcing it on dissenters’ posts and inboxes.

*dumps negativity into inboxes anyway*

Your Hot Takes have disturbed and insulted me. You fools are unworthy of my great knowledge. The era of human enlightenment shall never come to pass.

You really think Ford is some kind of hero?

Only after you told me I wasn’t Allowed to see him as one and I Examined My Desires™ like you demanded! Funny how critical thinking ≠ agreeing with you.

Ford is your favorite? WHY DO YOU HATE MABEL.

Better question, why are you copying “WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA” logic? 9/11 did fan drama I swear

Ford is NOT PURE OF HEEEAAART, so you have to Constantly Explicitly Acknowledge his Sins and interrogate what relating to him says about you.

I got no friends ‘cause they read the papers. It’s funny, actually, projecting onto him got me dangerously close to processing some negative experiences from my past... good thing I have you here to shut those thoughts down <3 Thanks for saving me from myself uwu

If you just want to project onto a comfort character in peace, Stan is right there! His lack of fantasy elements makes him more relatable anyway!

Ford brought Bill’s manipulation on himself!

Damn fandom, back at it again with the GROSS VICTIM BLAMING

FFS why is this take as prominent now as ever??? at least the outlandish criticisms were funny, this one just makes me want to be dead.

Ford is abusive/manipulative because he doesn’t make fun of Dipper/ made a case for his apprenticeship/ called Mabel good/ complimented her personality!

(Yes, people did these mental gymnastics; yes, my soul left my body instantly.)

STOP trying to justify Ford’s actio-ma’am this is an Arby’s. also:

Ford is the Epitome of Toxic Masculinity, if you defend him either he’s your Male Power Fantasy or you’re a ditzy fangirl broad with ovaries for brains!

Ah yes, the two genders. Pack it in, everyone, we’ve reached peak feminism and patriarchy is over.

Someone negativity-tagged my Ford post, WTF?! I’m not “anti-Ford”, I’m “pro Ford-learning-a-lesson”!

And pro his-fans-never-having-a-moment-of-peace, apparently! Sorry I assumed you were a hater by your complete lack of positive things to say about him tho

Ford is a sociopath/deserves death for having no empathy!

"Tumblr is as ableist as any majority-conservative site," I say into the mic. The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room. "You’re right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 3rd row stands: tumblr.

*Dozens of 10000+ note posts calling Ford stupid, manipulative, solely at fault for everything that went wrong, other inanities*

(This is the fandom that made me get Xkit. I’m sure hundreds of my 1000+ blocked posts are theirs.)

If you like Ford on any terms but ours then I’m sorry, but Gravity Falls just isn’t for you, k?

I don’t have a flippant response to this one. Just... stop. No one has to agree with you about this character; no, nor with me. No one even has to engage with fandom moralistically; I promise it wouldn’t hurt anyone if I were to watch this show without having to Interrogate its Morality. It wouldn’t even hurt if people voiced character hate within reasonable bounds of tagging, as I’ve said. But instead they spread it like the plague in the name of Purity and insinuated (using ages-old “ur a fake fan!!1″ no less) that we don’t get to have outlets. I’m tired.

Look at my hilarious/satisfying art of Ford saying OOC strawman things, Stan beating him up, the kids turning their backs on him! (Srsly look at it I’ve put it in all the tags)

You’re madness, Gravity Falls fandom. Virulent madness. And everything you touch dies with you.

This is only a fraction of shit we’ve had to wade through, practically every day while the show was running. You couldn’t avoid it if you followed popular blogs. I saw the best meta writers of my fandom dogpiled by BNFs, dragging themselves through the blue hellsite at dawn looking for a fix-it fix. And people now expect me to believe it was “just Discourse” or that anything equivalent happened “in reverse” toward Stan. If I didn’t know better that they don’t know better, I’d call gaslighting.

I don’t expect to change anything. In fact, until this blog’s next go-around I don’t intend on seeking out new content anymore. I can’t keep looking at a fandom where the consensus on a canonically abused character’s victimization is that it was stupid, funny, a moral failing, or deserved, and expect anything to improve.

But to anyone else these people hurt: your anger or upset is valid, and I’m sorry. None of us deserved this. And I’m not letting it follow me into the next decade and make me forget why I liked this show in the first place, even if the only way to do that right now is cut off from the fandom a bit. I’m telling you, it never should have come to that. I don’t know if negativity-tagging can ever catch on here, considering tumblr has no boundaries by design and fandom no boundaries by choice... but for the sake of everyone who comes next, Gravity Falls fandom, make an effort.

[iamanartichoke]

This is neither eloquent nor organized. I’m very frustrated and I just need to get things off my chest. 

Please do not reblog this post. 

Cut for anti-Ragnarok discourse, pro-Ragnarok discourse, the Ragnarok discourse war, mention of Thorki, and general venting. 

I’m not using tags bc I don’t want this post to show up in them. Very sorry and if any of these things is one of your blacklists, please keep scrolling.

Yesterday, I read a fic.

I was wandering through some of the Thorki content on twitter, and followed a link to one of the big bang fics, bc it was a human AU and das my jam.

I didn’t recognize the author’s name. The fic was extremely well-written, though: lots of feels, beautiful narration, a sweet ending balanced with a lot of sadness. It was one of those fics that gave me a lump in my throat.

I was only going to leave kudos, but then I figured I’d take the extra five seconds and leave a comment, bc we all know how much authors like comments. I mean, I’d rather someone leave a comment than kudos, especially if the fic really affected them.I get it and I gotchu, fam. 

Anyway, so I left a comment and proceeded to click on the author’s profile to see what else they’ve written. As you do.

I recognized their AO3 icon, even though I didn’t recognize the name. I’d seen them around on some Ragnarok wank on tumblr. I went to double-check, and it was the same user, and also they’d blocked me.

I do not know this person. I have never spoken to this person. Yet they’ve gone out of their way to block me, most likely bc I associate with the anti-Ragnarok crowd. This happens to me a lot. I’ve even had a couple of former mutuals unfollow and block me (without saying anything to me) and those felt like punches to the gut.

I understand not wanting to see content that you don’t like or that upsets you. Everyone has the right to block whomever they wish. But I can’t deny that getting blocked like that – by someone I don’t know, let alone interact with – fucking hurts. I know it’s not that deep but I can admit it. It’s a shitty feeling and it’s hard not to take it personally.

It’s not really about this particular person at all, although it’s a shame bc they’re a good writer I probably would have followed otherwise. But this entire anti/pro Ragnarok war has gone so far and it’s exhausting. I stayed pretty neutral for as long as I could. 

And here’s the thing. My observations, both from being neutral and also being someone who, despite often being quietly blocked, tends to fly under the radar are this:

The majority of the negativity comes from the pro side.

Look, I side with and agree with the anti side on this one. I can admit, however, that sometimes it gets tiresome to see posts get turned into Ragnarok criticism or tiresome to see more posts on my dash about this that or another thing that sucks about Ragnarok and why. It, like anything, can be tiring.

But I also see that the anti side largely does its best to keep to itself. The pro side complained about the Ragnarok tags, so the anti side made an anti tag, and the pros still come into it to complain. The anti side will post their discussions and criticisms and they largely just circulate within the same group of people. The discussions are almost always criticisms on the source material (ie, the film) and not about anyone who enjoys it.

Now, maybe I don’t see everything. Though I don’t think I’m biased just bc I agree with the anti side – in fact, it was these attributes that made me take a closer look at what they were saying bc maybe they had a point after all. I don’t follow every anti Ragnarok user, but I do follow a lot. I can’t say personal attacks and whatever never happen - but, I hardly ever see them.

That’s not the case with the pro side. I don’t think I follow many from that side, but I see so much negativity from them. It’s like this kind of underhanded negativity that I’m not quite sure how to explain. It’s tonal negativity. 

I mean, sometimes it’s blatant. Name-calling (Loki stans, lackeys, pathetic, delusional, and racist come to mind) is an example. But more than that, there’s this collective tone among the pro side that smacks of condescension and I can’t stand it.

They make fun of the “dissertations” that have been written.

They always include an “lol” or laugh emoji or something to express that they’re not the ones taking this seriously.

They fall back on saying they don’t care about a two-year-old movie.

They’re laughing and making fun and at the same time acting like they’re so above it all.

They want us to just shut up already.

What it comes down to is this: it’s not just a matter of being able to agree to disagree because the pro side actively acts offended that the antis are even having these critical discussions, even if the antis have gone out of their way to not involve the rest of the fandom at all.

(Again, this is not every pro person, but the majority. Tone does matter online, and the overall tone of the pro side is not positive. I say this from a mostly neutral place.)

And here’s a thing about “oh my god, it came out two years ago, get over it!” Yeah, it came out two years ago. So fucking what? You guys are still engaging with it, via fics and headcanons and art. How old the movie is doesn’t matter when you’re having fun with it, but when someone wants to engage with it in a (valid) critical way that you don’t like? No. That’s unacceptable. That’s pathetic. That’s being a lackey. Get over it.

Even writing this, I know that things are much worse for others than they are for me. I get stealth blocked; others are called out by name in public posts, receive anon hate, and are actively targeted.

It’s just, this shit is so fucking toxic to this fandom and it honestly needs to stop. Both sides need to not only stop engaging one another, but also stop acknowledging one another. We get it: you either like the movie or you don’t.

Let people do their own thing. Don’t be fucking obnoxious. If you disagree and genuinely want to talk about it, then try to remember there’s a person on the other side of the screen and be civil. If you disagree and don’t want to talk about it, then just fucking don’t.

If you see a post you disagree with, scroll past. And, yes, block the person if you need to (and sometimes it might be me that needs blocking and I recognize my hurt feelings are my own personal problem, not whoever else’s).

There are a lot of movies in the MCU that are not perfect. (Btw, it baffles me a little to get hated on for my stance on Ragnarok, when I am so much more vocal [and emotionally invested] in hating the Russos and IW/Endgame – but, whatever.) There are a lot of interpretations of characters that are different. There are a lot of people who project their own identity or issues or whatever onto any particular character that resonates (and that’s okay!) and there are a lot of people who don’t project but still identify with a particular character (and that’s okay, too).

Stop judging whether someone is a “real” fan of a character/franchise or not. Just because someone isn’t engaging with the source material in the way you are, and just because they don’t see it in the same way that you do, does not make them wrong. (Yes, this applies to the pro side, too. None of them are wrong or less valid for enjoying and even stanning the movie.) It doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else here. 

Acting otherwise is honestly going to kill this fandom. Because it bleeds over. Fics will have less readers, bc they don’t want to interact with something posted by someone they dislike (or who blocked them). There’s less sharing of things like art and headcanons and content. People unfollow and block each other, people are having to watch what they say, people are losing friends (and potential friends) bc they may be a great person but they don’t agree with you about fucking Ragnarok.

I came to tumblr bc it was the only place where not only could I find other people who loved Loki as much as I did, but it was the only place where I could express that. Express it in fic, in headcanons, in meta. Being creative and starting dialogues and just interacting. I wish we could get that vibe back.

I wish none of this bothered me so much.

[shadow-djinni]

Generalizations in Fandom

Or, some idiot on my dash made an underinformed comment about shipping trends and now I have to go prove them wrong.

I’m a day late with my griping, but much better-researched for it, which means this post (under the cut) is going to be even longer now.  Apologies in advance.  If you’d like to read my exceedingly long-winded griping, hit the readmore button.

A quick preface–and some background–to my complaining, which will be important going forward.  Though I’m by no means a fandom old, nor am I claiming that status, I’ve been in and around fandom for over eight years now, and have been an active content creator for seven and a half.  In that timeframe, I’ve been in and out of a wide range of fandoms, all with different fannish climates and behaviors, so I like to think I have a fair bit of experience in these spaces.

So, yesterday, a blog I had been following–which, up until this point, had expressed views on fandom I generally agreed with–made a post complaining about the proliferation of slash fic in fandom.  I’m not going to link the post or @ the blogger in question, mostly because I have no intentions of picking a fight with said blogger or with their fans, as I understand they have a relatively large following, but the post was something to the effect of “fandoms always lionize overwhelmingly white noncanon m/m ships at the expense of women and POC”.  Now, at a glance, that looks…correct, right?  At least considering the fandoms you usually see on Tumblr.  But that statement looks…really off to me, given my own lived experience, and the longer I looked the more off it looked, and the more complaints I had with it.

The first problem with this statement, and others like it: there is no such thing as a pan-fandom issue.  Statements like these posit that all fandoms, regardless of the source material, always have or develop the issue the poster sees and wishes to discuss.  It’s a good way to get attention, but it lacks the nuance to really support itself under scrutiny.  The truth of the matter is that the source material a fandom draws for has influence over the sort of fans who are drawn to it and the material they have to work with, which therefore effects the trends in tropes and shipping the fandom in question develops–and while broad similarities may be drawn across multiple fandoms with similar elements to them, no two fandoms develop alike, an effect which is compounded by differences in age, genre, and location of origin of the source material.  

For a personal example, I’ve been active in four fandoms I would consider strongly influential in terms of my taste in fiction and my writing ability and style.  Without getting overly specific, those fandoms are:

a video game franchise begun in the 80s, which has seen new installments released every 5-10 years

a magical girl manga (and later anime) produced in the early ‘00s, which has not seen new canon since

a popular and ongoing live action American movie series, which began release within the last decade

and, for good or ill, Voltron (an animated cartoon released in summer ‘16, which ran through December ‘18 with an utter shitstorm of a fandom)

If we believe statements such as the one above, one would expect that all four of those fandoms would have exactly the same inter-fandom issues, namely the sidelining of women and characters of color in favor of the white slash pairing of the day–but, having been in these fandoms, that’s true for exactly one of them.  I’d give you all three guesses, but let’s face it, the answer is obvious.  

It’s the live action American movie series.

In fact, the initial statement is fairly accurate when assessing that work, and other live action American movie series and television shows, and there’s a number of reasons why.  American live action media often gives disproportionate representation to white men, particularly when it comes to lead roles, while consigning women and POC to supporting roles.  As such, the (white, male) leads garner more development than the support roles, which makes the leads easier and more appealing for fic writers and shippers to work with.  Media with black leads, or other leads of color, also often have smaller fandoms overall, and as such don’t make the big, obvious waves large-scale fandoms like…say, Harry Potter or the MCU make on Tumblr.  

Canonical (female) love interests are also often sidelined by live action media fandoms, for a number of reasons–namely, in canon they are often granted less screentime, less depth, and less subjectivity than their male castmates, and are frequently treated as objects by the camera.  This makes it harder to empathize with them, especially given fandom is majority women who may be rendered too uncomfortable to work with the characters–there’s a good deal of baked-in misogyny that would need to be untangled from the character herself, and in most cases only the most committed of fans are actually going to sit down to do the work.

Now, mind you, these do not apply to all fandoms.  Voltron had some of the same problems with sidelining canonical love interests–but Voltron’s fandom flagships gag were between a half-human character of indeterminate ethnicity and two men of color, one of whom is canonically queer.  The magical girl manga fandom I mentioned above, ironically enough, has issues with sidelining a subtextually canonical f/f ship in favor of splitting the pair to put them in het ships.  And the video game fandom used to have issues with slash shippers in what was a majority het fandom, and still has lingering issues with slash depending on which corners of fandom you frequent.  

And yet, if I were to say “fandom has a problem with ignoring canonical queer subtext” or “fandom has a problem with inordinate aggression towards slash ships”, can you imagine the sort of ridicule I would face?  Most people discussing social issues in fannish contexts would look at me as though I’d sprouted a second head, when those issues are in fact present and in need of discussion–just not in the large, obvious fandoms in the Tumblrsphere, which seem to be the only fandoms these people consider deserving of discussion.

My second point can be summed up in a single sentence: it is not the responsibility of fandom to correct the issues present in the source canon.

No canon is perfect.  Creators are human, and flawed, and they will inevitably fuck up no matter how well they generally handle things.  And while those fuckups do impact the way the fandom creates (see my first point), fandom does not have a duty to fix those fuckups.  Fandom is not, and should not be, an activist space–it’s a creative space foremost, and it’s full of people with all sorts of baggage they pack in with them.  It’s unfair, and arguably cruel, to force people to engage with aspects of canon they find squicky, or even triggering, to ‘correct’ flaws in canon that your “activism” takes issue with.  (note: the link in the paragraph preceding this is mostly talking about shipping activism and while it makes some points about slash I disagree with, it makes plenty of good points about other sorts of fannish activism and the way fans who take their activism too far impact other fans and people unfamiliar with the source media)

And, additionally: unless you’re paying them, fan creators don’t owe you content.  Yes, even if they primarily create for that dreaded noncanon m/m ship and you’d rather they make content for your favored f/f ship.  Yes, even if your favored ship is actually canon, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with shipping noncanon ships rather than canon ones–if I kept that mentality I wouldn’t create at all.  If you want content, you have to make it yourself, or commission it.

And, my final point: if you don’t enjoy things certain fandoms are doing, learn to use your blacklist and filters.

If, like the op of the post I’m complaining about, you’re tired of the proliferation of slash ships you have ideological disagreements with, blacklist them and the fandoms that produce them!  If there are particular common aus in a fandom you hate, figure out the tags and filter those!  Particular ‘hot takes’ you’re sick of seeing?  Seas of endless shitposts that make you roll your eyes?  One particular writer who does a ship you otherwise enjoy in a notably squicky way?  Blacklist, filter, and block.  

Because I guarantee you, no matter how many angry posts you make about people making content you personally dislike, you won’t make anyone stop producing it.

And you might even piss some of them off.

Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have a non-canon slash fic to work on.

[hpfangirl13]

Shipping Questions Challenge

I saw some other people answering these questions so I figured I would. This is basically everything ever about my shipping history.

Talk about the first ship you ever had.

My first ship was Bellamort. I was 11 and was in the process of reading Harry Potter for the first time. Something about them both intrigued me and despite Voldemort supposedly not being able to love, I always felt like he had a soft spot for Bellatrix. After Cursed Child, turns out I was right. ;)

Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.

Bellamort is definitely one of them because they were my first ship, not to mention the first fanfic I ever read was about them. Jamko is probably the biggest one because ever since I saw them for the first time, I have been obsessed with them. They made me feel like no other ship ever did. The night they became canon was the best night of my life, hands down. Joe and Mika from Morning Joe are probably my third because they gave me the same effect Jamko did. I was obsessed with them the moment I saw them. Something about the way they interacted on screen made me love them. Now they’re married so woohoo!

What’s your current OTP?

Thomas Magnum and Juliet Higgins from the new Magnum P.I. They are my latest obsession and I love their will they/won’t they relationship. “Day of the Viper”, the newest episode, was huge for their relationship development. They’re completely adorable.

What’s your current NOTP?

Erin and Anthony from Blue Bloods. I love them both individually and working together as a team but I can’t stand that people are shipping them romantically. He’s more like an uncle to her, he’s just WAYYY too old for her.

Do you have any poly ships?

No. I’m not into that stuff.

How do you feel about love triangles?

Not into these either. They’re pointless and we usually already know who’s going to end up with who anyway.

How do you feel about RPF?

I ship a lot of real people and celebrities. I think it’s fine as long as people don’t get creepy about it.

Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?

Nope.

Do you have many ships that never got together at all?

The only one I can think of off the top of my head would be Captain America and Black Widow. They vibed all through Winter Soldier, but Marvel had to kill their potential relationship so that she and Hulk could be a thing. I’m still holding on to hope for them in Endgame though. I also have a lot of ships that are currently in the will they/won’t they phase.

Do you ship any characters that have never met?

No. I can’t ship people who I haven’t seen together.

Talk about your favorite first kiss.

Jamko’s first kiss back in season 4 of Blue Bloods. It was a little awkward but my 13-year-old self was losing her shit. I also had to wait a week after that episode aired to watch the episode. The struggle of having a flip phone and being on vacation was real.

Have you ever been disappointed when your ship finally got together?

YES. Jamko has been a complete mess all season 9.  I’m not sure what the writers are trying to do with them, but they’ve completely killed their chemistry. I thought this season was going to be iconic, but it’s honestly been such a letdown. I wanted them together, but not with this sappy writing.

Has a ship ever broken your heart?

Jamko is kinda breaking my heart because they’ve been so out of character.

How do you feel about will they/won’t they?

It’s the best kind of ship tbh. There’s nothing better than the week to week anticipation of wondering if that week will be the week they finally happen or make progress. I love a good slow burn. You can’t say you’ve truly shipped something unless you’ve shed tears and felt pain because of the frustration of waiting.

Have you ever “shipped at first sight”?

Definitely. When you know you know. I fell in love with Jamko the minute I saw them.

Talk about a ship you initially disliked.

Initially, I hated Reylo. When Force Awakens came out I was 100% a Finn/Rey shipper. I thought her and Kylo were gross. But that all changed in The Last Jedi. Their “force Skyping” converted me. I love a good AU Reylo fic.

Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically.

I guess I would have to say Finn/Rey. He’s with Rose now, and as dumb as that ship is, I honestly think Rey and Kylo have more of a connection now. I also used to be really into Weller/Jane from Blindspot, but that pairing and show are shitty now.

Talk about a moment which made you question an entire ship.

This season when Jamie and Eddie were playing mini golf and Jamie revealed that he had proposed there, I was baffled. I simply don’t want to believe that he proposed to her there right after she saved him from being shot. Seriously, who thought that was a good idea?

Have you ever shipped something despite yourself?

There are a few ships that I kind of don’t advertise that I’m in to. Joe and Mika and Bellamort would be a few examples.

Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping.

I feel like I’m the only person who ships Joe and Mika. I feel like everyone hates their politics and judges them because of what they talk about on their show. Also, they’re like 50-year-old news anchors and most of my friends think I’m pretty weird for liking them anyway. There’s probably someone out there who likes them as much as I do, I just haven’t found them yet.

Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against?

I guess Samar and Aram from Blacklist. They’re ok I guess, but I don’t really ship them. I don’t have anything against them though.

Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

Currently? Higgins and Magnum no question. But Ellick, Slibbs, and WonderBat are some of my other favorite matches in terms of overall chemistry.

Which of your ships deserve better writing?

JAMKO JAMKO JAMKO JAMKO JAMKO

Do you mostly ship canon pairings?

Many of the ships I have have become canon since I started shipping them. I find myself beginning to ship people, and then they get together down the road. There’s honestly nothing that I ship that I believe has no chance of getting together.

Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar?

Yes. This is what prompted me to start watching the new Magnum P.I.

Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic you’re more drawn to?

Yes. I love pairings where both people are very strong and independent, but unstoppable together. I pretty much exclusively watch crime dramas, so I especially love police and military couples. If they have obvious sexual tension, I’ll probably be drawn to them.

Is there a ship you’ve shipped for most of your life?

I guess my longest ship would be Bellamort, which I started shipping when I was 11. I’m 18 now, but 7 years is a pretty good amount of time. I’ve also shipped Jamko for 6 years now.

Does shipping come easily to you?

It’s like breathing.

Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic?

This depends. In some cases, yes. But I love The Blacklist and I haven’t really shipped anyone on that show.

Name a couple of fandoms in which you have no ships.

I think Blacklist is kind of it… although I may be putting my Keenler hat back on soon.

Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love.

The “sharing a bed in a hotel” headcanon is an all-time favorite of mine.

Name your favorite fan artist(s).

To be honest, I don’t really know any fan artists by name.

Share your favorite fanmix for your OTP.

For Jamko, the entire “The Block” album by New Kids on the Block. It’s not exactly a fanmix, but it’s a perfect album for them. I have made my own playlist for Magnum/Higgins recently:

“Juliet”- LMNT, “We Went as Far as We Felt Like Going”- Pussycat Dolls, “Big Time”- Big Time Rush, “7 rings”- Ariana Grande, “CRZY”- Kehlani

Do you create fanmixes/gif sets/fanart/fic/fanvids and so on for your ships?

Sadly no. I don’t have the talent or time.

Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP?

Not really. I have to be in a certain mood to read AU fics anyway.

Do you like and use ship names?

I love them and use them frequently, as illustrated by this post.

Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself?

I live vicariously through Eddie Janko. In middle school, I literally tried to act and dress like her. So that should tell you whose relationship I wish I could be in.

If you could change one thing about your OTP, what would that be?

How Jamko has been written this season. Go back to season 9 episode 1 and start over.

[hypermoyashi]

Okay, so, hi everyone? I’ve gotten some new followers, which is a bit surprising, and I’m sure some of you are aware of the discourse currently happening the mdzs fandom. Normally, as my about page states, I will not participate in fandom discourse under any circumstances, but as I was personally signaled out in this, I’ll be making an exception just this once. I’ll be placing everything under a cut just so those of you who don’t want this discourse showing up on your dash can avoid it.

Okay, so if you’re unaware, a blocklist was recently created of people in the fandom that minors should avoid/be aware of. I, as well as one of my good fandom friends, was on this list. I will not be posting links to said list in any way, shape, or form, as I believe it is poorly worded and just wholely not handled well in its original context.

I’d like to preface this entire post with one important idea: you curate your own fandom experience. I actually encourage blocking/blacklisting things and people who make you uncomfortable, just be respectful about it. You don’t need to announce it, or let someone know you’re blocking them. If I in any way make you uncomfortable for any reason, and you are uncomfortable talking to me about it to try and fix the problem, then please unfollow me, block me, or whatever will make you the most happy and comfortable. In the end, fandom is about fun, and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously. It shouldn’t be used to hurt people. 

I can’t say I’m not upset that I and my friend were included, and while I don’t know most of the people on that list enough to make a judgment, based on the reasons my friend and I were listed, I don’t believe the judgment of the original creator of the list was wholly sound. For full transparency, I am going to include why I, personally, was signaled out.

The first reason is for my submission here: https://mxtxpositivity.tumblr.com/post/183334608470/fic-rec-realize-what-you-never-knew-by

The fic I recommended is a fic that the friend I previously mentioned wrote, and I recommended it because I enjoy it and I enjoy supporting my friend’s writing. Now, the fic in question is about the junior trio, but it is written in a context where they are older and not minors. To be fair, my friend did not tag for this, and the lack of a tag for it was not something that I, as her beta, caught, either. I don’t particularly intend to debate whether or not it’s okay to write sexual content about young characters after they’ve been aged up, as it’s a rather gray area and whether it will bother you will vary. If it does bother you, however, that’s perfectly valid and I encourage you to avoid it. Blacklisting is a wonderful thing, and ao3 now includes a function to exclude ships.

The second reason I was signaled out in this post is for this: http://hypermoyashi.tumblr.com/tagged/yaoi

And just so it’s clear that I have not altered or cleared this in any way, here’s a screenshot with the time and date in the corner:

I would scroll down to show you guys more of the tag, but there is none. My yaoi tag is just two posts. This is the basis for which I was said to “support yaoi.” I’d like to point out that one post is literally a criticism of the genre as a whole. I have no idea why I tagged the second post as yaoi, but it was reblogged three years ago. It is not something I would reblog and tag that way today. I’ve used the same blog, the same username, for well over seven years now. There is bound to be some stuff here that doesn’t reflect who I am today, and there is also bound to be things that I’ve mistagged or not tagged appropriately in the past. I do not have the energy to clean absolutely everything out, but if you would like to point something out to me, I will be happy to change it. For my purposes, I’m not going to be altering my yaoi tag, in case anyone wants to check it for themselves.

Now, just as an off-topic, I’d like to point out that I’m bi/gray ace. I don’t hate yaoi per say, but I do dislike the picture its common tropes paint of the lgbtqa+ community, as anyone who has spoken with me for five minutes about it can tell you.

This is all I was flagged for, but in the name of transparency, I am also going to include something that, had our original poster of the list seen, would’ve been additional reasons for me to land on the list.

I am writing an A.B.O. fic for HOB. It will also contain an explicit scene in the future, and it contains some pretty heavy triggers such as attempted suicide and CSA/abuse. I know A.B.O. tends to be controversial for many, many reasons, but for the record, all characters retain their full facilities during any and all explicit scenes, on or off screen, and are able to consent or not consent to what is going on. Anything of that nature that happens to a minor does not happen on screen and is appropriately tagged as CSA. I also do not endorse or want minors reading this fic, but I’ll get into that later.

Now, does any of this disprove that I’m a potential danger to minors? No, it does not.

For one, disproving a negative is an impossibility. To demonstrate this, I’ll be using the same analogy my statistics teacher used. You have a field. You’re looking for cows. To find some cows, you divide the field up into twenty sections. Unfortunately, you only have the capability to check five of the sections. You check these five sections, and you don’t find any cows. Can you say, for sure, that there are no cows in the field? Nope. Because it’s impossible to check every section, and there could be cows in the sections you don’t check.

I cannot open up the entirety of my memory and history to prove that I have definitely never hurt a minor. It is absolutely never my intention, and if I have, I deeply apologize for it. But I have no way of disproving a negative because it is mathematically impossible.

Now that we’ve gotten up to this point, some of you might be thinking, isn’t treating such a baseless accusation so seriously, in a way, giving it validity? Well, in a way, sort of. The accusation is entirely baseless, yes, and this is going to be the only time I’m going to argue something like this in this way. It upset me, and it’s there, so I want to address it.

Now, I’m going to reference my about page. Here it is:

The text reads, “Hello! I thought, after about five years of owning this blog, give or take, it was probably time to make an about page.

“I mainly write fanfiction, which is almost always posted to ao3 and linked here unless it’s particularly short. Minors are definitely welcome; I don’t reblog or post N**SFW images or videos, nor do I write smut, though please be aware that this blog is “view at your own risk.” I tag for common triggers and potentially harmful content, so it’s up to you to know your limits and blacklist appropriately. That being said, if you need me to tag anything in addition to what I already do, please don’t hesitate to ask!

“My fandoms right now are mainly Bungou Stray Dogs, Heaven Official’s Blessing, Mo Dao Zu Shi, Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens, Pandora Hearts, Vanitas no Carte, Akatsuki no Yona, and D.Gray-man. Please be aware that although I do have particular ships I like, I’m not really that into shipping as a whole.

“I don’t reblog shipping discourse nor will I interact with hostile shippers. If you would like to talk about shipping with me, please do, just be nice! As a bonus, I love platonic relationships, so please talk with me about those if you enjoy them, too.

“ところで、私の日本語はちょっとわるいですけど、話すのが好きです。

“Finally, I consider this blog to be a safe place for me and others that does not discriminate based on race, gender identity, sexual orientation, mental health, physical ability, national origin, or religion. If that bothers you, please click the “back” or “x” button on your browser.

“With all that out of the way, welcome to my blog! I love talking with people, so feel free to message me or leave an ask. I swear you won’t be bothering me. Happy blogging!”

Now, I am going to edit this at some point, because I have written smut now. It’s not posted, but it’s still something I intend to post. But yeah, as of 3/13 around 5pm, that was my about page, and I have not changed it for quite a while. (Sorry I’m not quite as chipper today ^^”)

One of the links on my about page leads to this page:

Which reads:

A quick guide to my tagging system!

my fanfiction: stuff I’ve written

text post: stuff I’ve made/said

q: things posted from my queue (it is a very long queue)

art by op: If there’s no source, then I’m reasonably certain that this art was created by the original poster. If I’m wrong, please let me know and I’ll delete it imeidiately.

icons: whenever I save an icon, whether I use it or not, I reblog it under this tag

personal and/or ramblings: just me talking. Sometimes I won’t even tag these kinds of posts

— mention: normally reserved for common triggers, i.e. “Donald Trump mention” or “sex mention”

n**sfw warning: as stated in my about page, I don’t reblog n**sfw images or videos, but I do reblog n**sfw fic recs (ie links to explicit content) that is unsuitable for minors. If you’re a minor viewing my blog, please blacklist this tag if you feel the need to!

spoilers: anything and everything I think constitutes a spoiler. Sometimes I’m bad about tagging these, though. I don’t tag for specific fandoms, like “su spoilers” or “bsd spoilers,” so please beware of that.

And, for reference, this is the basis for which I generally rate my fics:

G (General Audiences): Anyone can read this

T (Teen Audiences): Anyone 13+ can read this

M (Mature Audiences): Anyone 17/18+ can read this (16 is fine, too, I think, depending on what the reader is comfortable with. My M rated fics often include dark/sexual themes, though, so 17/18 is the more comfortable range)

E (Explicit): Only people who are 18+ should read this (probably not gonna rate anything this since I don’t write smut unless I just really don’t want to endorse any minors reading it)

Again, this should probably be updated as I have written smut, however infrequent. I try to tag for common triggers, and I have asked here that minors under a certain age not read particular fics. All of my fics that depict unhealthy relationships, darker or sexual themes, or anything that I would be uncomfortable with a minor reading are rated Mature or Explicit, depending.

So all in all, I have tried my best to provide a positive experience to anyone who enjoys my content, and I try to tag so that potentially harmful content doesn’t reach those that it might hurt. I’m not perfect, and I can’t control everything. A minor can still go in and read my Explicit/Mature fics on ao3, no matter how much or how loudly I ask them not to. My content is meant to inspire, to show that life can suck, but in the end, everyone is worth it and continue on.

And, on that caveat, I’d like to point out that I generally take a stance of “create and let create.” Freedom of expression is the greatest gift anyone can be given. Yes, avoid content that hurts you, but please don’t lash out at those who create it. Until you know exactly why they’ve created it, what their history is, and what thoughts or feelings they were working through while creating it, please leave them be. Creators should tag their works so people can avoid content that might be harmful to them, but content that is harmful to one person might be another person’s lifeline.

But the reason I’ve laid this all out is that I want you to judge for yourself. Do I seem like someone you want to be friends with? Do I seem like someone harmful? Do I seem like someone you are indifferent to? Please make the decision that is best for you, and if you happen to want to be friends, please let me know ^^

Now, finally, I hope to see a more positive fandom experience come of this. I say all this, however negative or bleak it might be for me, because it was important for me to work through my thoughts, and I hope that something positive can come of honesty and communication.

Please don’t go after the original poster of the list, if you know who they are. It’s better just to let it go. The person seemed to have had good intentions, however ill-executed they were, and talking to them is only going to create more ill will and negativity for everyone. I believe, at least in part, the reason their list is so unfounded and baseless is because the content they cited genuinely hurts them, and when creating the list, they did not look at the full context of everything they were citing. And, well, context is everything, really. This doesn’t really excuse them, as they still hurt people with a largely unhelpful and thoughtless post, but brewing the negative feelings helps no one. I would also like to state that the fact that the content hurts them is not the fault of any of the creators. If you tag appropriately, but someone doesn’t take the time to blacklist or otherwise protect themself from content they know will hurt them, then that’s on them.

Fandom is a really interesting place. It’s full of so many diverse and wonderful people--minors and adults, lgbtqa+ and allies, tons of different nationalities--we should really take more steps to look out for one another. If there’s anything I could be doing better, please let me know. My experience with the mdzs fandom hasn’t been great up to this point, and I want to change that. I love this show, and I also want to love the people who love it alongside me.

Remember, for every not so great person, there are twenty more lovely people just waiting to meet you. And I hope that, from here on, those lovely people get every good thing they deserve.

[transmxnfenris]

My Discourse Thoughts

I know I speak out against antis a lot but I just wanted to specify I’m not an anti-anti either. I just think antis cause more harm than anti-antis but tbh this is my Middle Ground opinion. I don’t like either groups. I think this discourse is not as black and white as people make out. Before you start, I am saying this as an incest, rape, child porn, and abuse survivor. So. Yeah, my feelings aren’t about something I’m not aware of. It’ll be kinda focused on written stuff, because I’m a writer, but I try to be inclusive. I’m mostly writing this so I never have to say my opinion again and can just link it here.

Yes fiction can affect reality, of course it does. See the Jaws affect and discussions about representation of marginalised groups for evidence. So, artists do have to be careful and try to do better in terms of bigoted stereotypes and stuff like that. But. But. This is kind of like the “murder played violent video games and became a murderer” thing. Violent video games would only cause someone to become a murder if that desire is already in place (this is what the trauma control model says. - info on that from adopduction.) Abusive relationships only normalise abuse if they portray the abuse as normal. So like, 50 Shades of Grey - that portrays abuse as romantic and fun. That’s normalising abuse. Running with Scissors is a book that very much shows the abuse as clearly really bad. It doesn’t explicitly say it, but it assumes the reader knows that these abusive acts are horrible and wrong. Which is a fair assumption. I don’t think people should create things that suggests bad things (abuse, rape, etc) are fine and even normal, I don’t think that means we shouldn’t have art about these topics, we absolutely should. For one thing, it’s therapeutic for a lot of people to get the dark things out of there head and into the art their creating / consuming, for another - spreading awareness isn’t normalising. Books talking about things that really happen is showing you that people are capable of awful things. Their reaching out to survivors and validating them, and sometimes their helping everyone see the signs. Books like Haunted show that anyone can be an abuser, and that’s important. If we think of the perpetrators as monsters, then it makes it difficult to believe someone we know is an abuser or rapist - that’s how we get the “but he seems like such a nice guy!” Defence.

So in terms of subjects discussing dark topics - I think people should absolutely be able to. I think people should stick to things they have experience with (eg Chuck Palahniuk got the idea to write fight club because he got beaten up on a camping trip by homophobes and when he went to work the next day people said nothing even though he was visible beaten up) but I’m not gonna police people - so long as they do their research and are being respectful it’s fine (besides, saying only survivors can do it says people have to open up about their trauma even if their not ready and that’s not cool.) I think as long as people aren’t normalising these topics it’s fine but by normalise I mean 50 Shades of Grey style stuff. Writing about them isn’t inherently normalising them. A general rule I use to see if someone’s normalising something is is it tagged or classified as abuse? Or does it explicitly say abuse? If so, it’s not. 50 Shades of Grey doesn’t ever say it deals with non-consensual BDSM, stalking, and abuse because those are awful things as everyone knows. So, if an Ao3 fic is tagged ‘abuse’, ‘pedophilia’, or ‘rape’... it’s probably not normalising it. It’s classifying it as a bad thing. I think a fic is normalising pedophilia when it’s got a seventeen year old with a thirty year old and saying it’s fine because it’s legal in the U.K. thus they don’t tag it. Like, that’s a creepy age gap your normalising. It may not technically be pedophilia, but your pulling a Call Me By Your Name, it’s kinda normalising grown adults grooming kids. However, if a ship is about the same thing but the adult is the villain, the creep, the ‘everything is done to show their a bad guy’... That’s not normalising anything. I write about incest, because I’m an incest survivor, so I have some incest ships - none are healthy. I could go on, but seriously. So long as they’re not showing how incestuous relationships are healthy and fine, who cares?

In terms of ships... Oh boy, this is a tough one. I live by Don’t Like Don’t Read and Live and Let Ship. I think shipping adult characters regardless of whether people think it’s bad or abusive is fine. It doesn’t mean I like all ships. For example, I do not like the ship Reylo, but I have friends who ship it. I have it on my blacklist. I don’t care that they ship it. It doesn’t remotely affect me. I only really see it when people are complaining about it. I think in this case it’s also important to note shipping and fanfiction aren’t mainstream, your fanfic on Ao3 won’t have much of an effect to any mainstream audience. If you identify as a woman and love m/m fics? I don’t care. I’ve seen amazing fics and art by women of m/m ships. Hell, the community is what helped me realise I’m an mlm trans man. Do I get a bit skeeved when homophobia and fetishisation happens? And transphobia and intersexism? And racism? And ableism? And bigotry in general? Yeah. But why don’t we just, approach them in a civil manner because it may be by accident. A lot of people like that apologise then improve if you’re nice about it. Do I like women getting off on mlm? Erm, I don’t care. So long as their not homophobic and weird about it. Final note: shipping doesn’t always mean “I love, approve of, and want this ship to be canon.”

That being said... NSFW art between kids if you’re an adult is weird. I do actually have ships with under 18 characters, and I don’t care if anyone else does. Ships aren’t inherently sexual. But I’ve never written porn or anything sexual for them. Because the thought makes me feel sick. If you’re a 15 year old writing about two 15 year olds that’s totally different and of course you will, but I would strongly suggest fans like that be careful because weirdos might get ahold of it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people creating art with underage characters in these situations if they are in them, but be careful. I’m going to specify at this point I mean smut and porn. Stuff written for actual sexual purposes. Not all art involving sex is like this, I’m ace as hell, and I’ve... Never really written sex for that purpose. I explore power dynamics because it’s interesting, and dark topics because it’s therapeutic. I don’t ever write actual sexual (abusive or otherwise) scenes with anyone underage because it skeeves me. I just imply it. So I think underage ships are a grey area... but porn involving kids and teens is really weird. And hand drawn porn of kids is illegal in the U.K. even if it isn’t in the US so don’t rely on that if you do draw it. I’m gonna specify though, I mean kids who are like, actually under age definitely children, not ageless figures in an anime who’s age you only know if you research the background bit they all seem like adults. This isn’t about porn with the guys from Voltron, it’s about porn with like, Dipper and Mabel. Another shipping trend that skeeves me is real life people shipping. It just crosses a consent line for me, I particularly started to dislike it when my abusive ex’s friend wrote a fanfic of my ex-girlfriend with another person. It fucking sucked. Now, if someone explicitly says “write about me in weird sexy ways if you want” fine, but like... Otherwise it’s fucking creepy.

To expand on that, I really don’t think “do what you want” is a good rule. For example, erasing representation is a shitty thing to do. Dorian Pavus of Dragon Age fame, has an entire backstory dedicated to being a magical conversion therapy survivor... so let’s not make a “bi Dorian Mod”. I don’t like that. And as I said, I don’t like child nsfw stuff, and lolicon, and babyfurs, and whatever else. It’s creepy. Basically my opinion is “do what you want, just don’t be bigoted or a fucking creep.” And... maybe don’t invest your time into being angry about it. It’s not healthy. If you see something bigoted or creepy, report it, block the person, and move on. If you see something you personally don’t like, but isn’t bigoted and isn’t harming anyone (like, whether you think Reylo or Kylux are abusive or not... it’s not mainstream, it’s not harming anyone really) maybe you should just. Leave it alone. Block the tag, and move on. This whole, deciding what harmless ships are bad and good and causing witch hunts is fucking conservative, cultist bullshit.

Tl;dr:

Don’t like, don’t read and ship and let ship are good rules. Within reason.

Let people create art and write about whatever they want. You don’t know their life, you don’t know who benefits from it, and art deserves freedom. Within reason.

But. We shouldn’t let bigotry and weird creepy stuff get a free pass though. But sometimes people don’t mean to be bigoted so try being nice and explaining stuff before abusing.

But also... witch hunts are like, bad?