#Yeaaaah moment

[gferamos]

I can't find the meme but just trust me this is them

[bumblingbabooshka]

I wonder if in Federation schools with very mixed students (like how Keiko taught a ferengi, a human, bajorans...etc) certain historical questions have multiple acceptable answers.  Federation teacher has to spend half their time fact checking the answers that their alien students wrote down because for ‘Inventor of the Telephone’ one student wrote ‘Alexander Graham Bell’ another wrote ‘Rahguk son of Mor’ another wrote ‘What is a telephone?’ and another wrote ‘Vashermock The Kyern spoke to your human Graham Bell through a series of long forgotten dreams so technically it was the inventor - the human’s hands were moved by its wisdom.’

[nyaifyz]

not vibing well today folks, but take these doodles I did!

doll should get bear claws

random dronesona doodles

angy

RAWR

[everydaydg]

[theloopcrew]

sorry i talk about part 2 dub zenigata maybe constantly but i do kind of love how Different he is in comparison to pretty much any other iteration. most notably the country bumpkin thing yes but also he is a Full Frontal Dick to almost any higher-up he encounters. just absolutely fucking despises them.

[hypnosiacon-archived]

Narc moment I named the fic after myself because fucking Whiteout is EXACTLY what I want this fic to be

[peachyteabuck]

Stoned me has decided to revel in the joy of today because there may be rarely ever moments where I feel so accomplished. I'm allowed to look back at moments and cringe at what I'd do differently as a more seasoned professional, but I'm not allowed to count today as anything other as a massive win for myself

[hauntingblue]

Did garp make sword after ace died??? That makes too much sense but thats too little too late

[loudblonde]

My countries psychiatric system is a joke

The wait list in some places is 3 years just for a diagnosis

I'm not worried though

I already got diagnosed crazy enough to get an appointment after two weeks, maximum, of me needing help and meds

[sttoru]

⠀ 𝝑𝑒 ⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. your roommate, toji, can’t pay rent - again. he promises to pay you back soon, but you’re tired of his behaviour.

tags. (perv) roommate!toji fushiguro x female reader. smut, pōrn with plot kinda. dirty talk. rough. p in v -> unprotected. crēampie. fīngering. praise. reader gets called ‘princess, girl’. degrādation. toji’s a womaniser and asshole, like i’m talking dusty, manipulative asshole. unestablished relationship.

“that shit again?” toji rolls his eyes as he lazily switches between the channels on the television. he knows exactly what you’re going to say next. your complaining has a certain pattern that he’s picked up on.

he smacks his lips after being done with his snack. your snack - the one you put your name on before putting in the fridge. the dark-haired man shrugs, “i told ya, girl. i ain’t got the money this month.”

your head feels like it’s going to explode with anger. you know toji has the money. you saw him count the bills on his bed just yesterday, when you passed by his room to go to yours. “yeaaaah - gambled it all away, right?”

the usual excuse he uses. you’re sick and tired of hearing that for the nth time. it’s the same story every month. toji’s a lazy bastard. he’s living off your salary at this point. unapologetically.

“yep,” toji yawns, not even attempting to sound convincing, “got that right.” he knows you’re not going to do anything about it, so he takes advantage of that fact. you’re all bark, no bite.

you always tell him that you’re going to kick him out if he doesn’t pay, though you never take the action you swear on doing. toji has you wrapped around his finger and he knows.

even now, he notices the way you try not to look down at his body. his black shirt is slightly lifted, showing his happy trail that stops at the waistband of his boxers. the fact that he’s sitting on the couch with his legs spread only makes the sight more appealing.

“well, pack your bags then,” you cross your arms after succeeding into averting your attention to the problem at hand. you point at the door with a nod of your head, “i want you to leave by tonight.”

toji struggles to hold back a chuckle. he’ll play along for your sake and act upset by the situation. the tall man sighs and throws his hands up in defeat, trying to gain some pity, “aw, c’mon. have some mercy on me, yeah?”

you’re the one rolling your eyes this time. you’re not going to be naive about this anymore. you’re not going to fall into his trap. you stomp your way over to his room and grab the bag he uses for the gym, aggressively filling it with a bunch of his clothes.

“you’re going out,” you hiss as you walk back to your living room. you throw the filled bag at toji’s chest without hesitation. you know that you’re no match to a grown man, but you’re too fired up to care, “out. i don’t need some useless bum like you in my house.”

toji’s grin drops. his jaw clenches as he gets his bag thrown at him. you seem more serious about this. normally, you’d just cuss him out and lock yourself up in your room. you’re slowly breaking out of the helpless cycle you were in.

“move it,” you huff. your patience is wearing thin. you stand close to toji, your legs nearly touching. you’re towering over him as he sits on the couch, which gives you all the needed confidence. though if he were to stand up it’d be the exact opposite.

toji frowns and starts to realise that his usual manipulation tactics won’t work. he’s trying to think of other ways to distract you of your current dissatisfaction. some more… direct ways.

“you don’t mean that,” his voice turns husky. a real deep tone he only uses when he needs something out of a woman. toji’s veiny hand moves to the side of your thigh, slowly crawling up your skin while he gauges your reaction.

he’s never attempted distracting you in a sexual manner. perhaps now is the perfect moment to try out if it works.

your breath hitches as you feel his touch on your bare thigh. such a warm touch. you’re not going to act like toji hasn’t been attractive to you all this time. his cocky attitude is annoying, yes, but the nonchalance is also a huge turn on.

you’re in a daze. your rational mind is screaming at you to kick that man to the curb—to let him suffer the consequences of his actions—but you’re weak. you’ve sworn never to get involved with him intimately. you wouldn’t want to sleep with an asshole like him.

“do not,” your voice is shaky, revealing the truth behind your contradicting words. you can’t resist him and you’re slowly realising it. you don’t want to end up as all the other women toji’s charmed with his words and actions. you promised yourself that you wouldn’t fall for him.

and yet here you are.

“i can repay you in a different way, y’know?” toji hums, his other hand landing on your left thigh. he rubs your plush flesh up and down in a slow manner. his eyes watch yours intently. you’re nervous and it’s painfully obvious to him. he suppresses a victorious grin, “y’ sure you don’t wanna, princess?”

you’re as weak as they come. toji’s toying with you and you’re allowing it. you’re no different than those women he fucks every other day when he needs something from them. be it money or just stress relief.

you tremble as you feel his fingers graze against the insides of your thighs.

“i take the silence as a yes, hm?” toji chuckles haughtily. he cups the back of your thighs, just below your ass, pushing your body closer to his. you’re standing between his legs and his head is close to your chest. he looks up at you, “use y’r words f’me, pretty thing.”

your brain stops working. you’re so easy. all toji has to do is call you by those alluring names and you’re all his. his callused fingers stop at the hem of your shorts. they continue to sensually rub the material, inching closer to your clothed cunt.

“say you want it,” toji whispers, his raspy voice making your knees weak. you want it, but you’re stubborn enough to deny your desires. you’re throbbing, aching and wet for him. your eyes catch a glimpse of the bulge in his grey sweatpants.

“no, i won’t,” you try to keep your dignity, however you’re slowly losing it. it’s inevitable. you’re putty in his hands. you let out a high pitched whine when toji ‘accidentally’ slides his fingertips back and forth over your clothed pussy, “mgh—okay, okay. fuck—i want you. need you.”

you blurt the words out before you can stop them from leaving your mouth. you silently curse at yourself. your bodily desires have fully taken over. you hold onto toji’s broad shoulders, your grip on them so tight that it sends a shiver down his spine.

he knew that you’d give in sooner or later. the dark-haired man watches as you lower your head, placing it in the crook of his neck to hide yourself from him. he coos condescendingly—

“mhm. tha’s more like it,” toji wastes no time to pull your shorts down to your ankles. he licks his lips, breathing heavily against your bare shoulder. he can’t wait to take this further. he groans the moment your wetness makes contact with his hand, “shiiittt, she’s fuckin’ wet. bet you dreamt about this.”

your panties are discarded on the floor not a second later. you whine in embarrassment, though still spread your legs. you feel ashamed because of how quickly you gave in to his charms. you thought you’d be different, but alas.

your roommate is one hell of a womaniser.

“y’ think i don’t see those lewd looks you give me?”toji clicks his tongue. his green irises are shining brightly. he enjoys the feeling of your sloppy cunt against his bare hand. his thick fingers rub between your folds, teasing your entrance, “nasty little girl. got me wanting to fuck you silly every single time.”

the desire has been mutual all this time. you’ve been driving toji crazy since day one. the way you think you’re being subtle when checking him out never fails to make him hard. or when you walk around the apartment in those skimpy clothes—those shorts that define your ass so well.

he’s sure that you are doing it all on purpose. not wearing a bra, staring at him for too long when he comes out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his waist, sneaking glances at the outline of his fat cock. you’re not as clever as you think you are.

toji finally has you in his grasp and he’s not letting go. he’ll pound you to the mattress, until you’re satisfied and overstimulated.

he’ll get revenge for all those times you’ve (un)intentionally left him hard. all those times you left him sexually frustrated. all those times he had to resort to other things to relieve himself. all those times he had to waste his cum on his hands or on other women.

all those times he couldn’t fuck you—his pretty little roommate.

“you’re a pervert,” you whimper as you feel toji slip two fingers inside you without warning. his eyes nearly roll back from how tight you’re gripping his digits. it’s going to be so worth it once he’s got your pussy wrapped around his cock.

“yeah, but tha’s how you like ‘em,” toji laughs, not taking any offence to the accusation. he is a pervert when it comes to you and you secretly love it. the squelchy sounds echoing through the living space are all the evidence he needs, “no need to deny it. y’r cunt is doing all the talking for ya.”

you weakly punch his chest at his dirty words. he’s riling you up in both the best and worst ways possible. you moan and your hips shake from pleasure, feeling him curl his fingers up inside you. you hiccup and try to silence him, “shut up!”

toji loves seeing you deny your own feelings. it gives him so much power over you. he knows you’ll come back crawling to him when he’s done here.

after all, you’re stuck with him. literally. he’s not leaving this apartment any time soon. not when he’s got a cute roommate like you awaiting him whenever he comes back home.

soon enough, you end up in his bed. it smells like him. you’ve only imagined being in this situation. with him on top of you, between your legs, filling you to the brim with his cock. it’s huge—bigger than you thought it’d be. no wonder those other girls come back for more.

you can’t talk anymore. the only noises leaving your lips are moans—signs of the pleasurable sensations rushing through your body. your vision is blurry and all you can think of is this moment that you’ve waited for. to be dicked down by your roommate.

perhaps you’re the pervert here.

“bratty attitude nowhere to be found, heh,” toji snickers while his hips ram against yours. flop flop flop — it’s embarrassing how much noise your wet cunt is making. you’re dripping on his sheets while he’s splitting you open. he’s doing it so, so well. he grabs both your wrists with one hand and pins them above your head, giving you no chance to touch him.

toji pants as his thrusts increase in speed. he can’t keep his eyes away from you. you’re beautiful underneath him like this, on his bed, your body a piece of art he wishes to admire every single night. he smirks, “all you needed was some dick to shut that mouth of y’rs up, huh?”

you’re humiliated by how cheap you made yourself seem. you don’t respond to the man’s words and just wrap your legs around his waist, locking him in. toji grunts and slaps your thighs with his free hand, surprised by your actions, “fuck—didn’t know my roommate was such a slut in bed.”

your mouth hangs open. you’re sure you’re drooling by now. toji’s voice nearly becomes inaudible with how focused you are on the feeling of his cock. it’s hitting that right spot over and over again, the curve of his pink tip almost kissing your cervix.

“fffnghh, right there!” you moan loudly. you don’t care if the neighbours file noise complaints against you. they should’ve done so before, when toji had other women over. you remember how many times you had to put your earplugs in because your bastard of a roommate couldn’t keep it down.

the same bastard that’s fucking you so good right now. you can’t recall the amount of orgasms you’ve had already. toji didn’t even cum once and that’s only embarrassing you more. your inability to control yourself is pathetic. maybe not to toji though; he enjoys how easily he can make you spasm and squirt underneath him.

“i got’cha,” toji’s voice turns sweet for a split second once he sees how desperate you are for another mind blowing climax. if he knew you’d be this needy for him, he’d have taken you to bed long time ago.

“need you to say smthing f’me, ‘kay?” toji whispers and bites your earlobe, nibbling on it. his husky voice in your ear is like heaven. it makes you want to listen to whatever he has to say. you can hear the smirk in his voice when he increases his pace, “say that i don’t need to pay y’ back no more.”

you nearly choke on your own spit. toji is an asshole—manipulating your moment of weakness and vulnerability for his own benefit—and yet you allow him. you try to fight the urge to give in, but it’s too late.

“y-you don’t have to pay me back anymore,” you repeat with a whine and shake your head. it’s impossible to think rationally when you’ve got a fat dick all the way in your cunt, hitting all the right spots. your eyes roll back as you babble inaudible stuff in between moans, “promise, you don’t have to—mghhh!”

toji hisses at the feeling of you tightening up around him. you’re insatiable, wanting to continue until you’re able to milk every drop of cum out of his heavy balls. he’s never had a girl be so desperate for him. so dumb and easy.

“atta girl,” your roommate hums and moves his hands to lift your thighs. his inhuman pace only seems to increase with the change of positions. toji stares down at you from behind his black bangs, “no more whinin’ about money ‘n stuff, yeah?”

his gaze is a mix of pure lust and intimidation. you nod your head along to all he says, too cockdrunk to resist anything. you’re living the dream and you’re unwilling to ruin it, “y-yes, not gonna do it again.”

toji groans at the sound of your whiny voice. he’s going to make you addicted to him—that’s his ultimate goal. his hips slam against yours repeatedly, a slick trail of your fluids sticking to his pelvis, “shit, pussy’s sucking me in, princess.”

you can��t get enough of him and vice versa. the dark-haired man fails to keep his composure for a second, pushing his body weight on yours, caging you right against the mattress. he can’t stop his cock from throbbing each time it dives into your insides.

“gonna cum real deep in you,” toji grumbles. he’ll give you every drop, all the way into your womb. he’ll make you his woman for tonight and the many nights yet to come. if it’s left up to him, he’ll gladly fuck you like this every day, “be greedy ‘n take it all.”

you gasp and feel toji thrusting harder into your aching cunt. you didn’t think he’d be able to go faster. you mewl and scream about how good he feels, which only feeds toji’s big ego. he grips your thighs tightly, nails digging into the flesh.

“fuck!” white dots appear in your vision as you reach your peak once again. you feel like your heart stops beating for a second. you involuntarily start convulsing, legs shaking and hips bucking up to meet toji’s.

he hisses and closes his eyes, shooting his creamy load all the way inside of you. ropes of warm cum spurt out of his tip, filling your pussy like both of you have always imagined. he sighs and thrusts a couple more times, making sure no drop escapes your messy folds, “mhmmm, there we go, girl.”

you’re still dazed. you’re slack-jawed, your spit dripping down your chin. you’re more sleepy than ever. no one has made you feel this good in a while. toji watches you struggle to stay conscious and huffs proudly.

he rolls off you and lays down on his back, stretching his arms. he yawns—not bothering with aftercare at the moment. he’ll let you cool off first before he gets you a towel to clean up. toji tilts his head to the side and grins, “debt repaid.”

he’s said it so casually. you don’t notice what he’s implying until you’ve calmed down. your rationality comes back to you after a couple seconds, and when it does, your heart sinks to your stomach. your eyes widen as you recall what you’ve basically promised him.

you promised not to ask for the money he owes you ever again. oh, stupid you.

“wait—”

unfortunately for you, toji’s already snoring. his eyes are closed as he lays there like he hasn’t just rearranged your guts and manipulated you to say stuff you can’t take back. you scoff and rub your eyes, kicking your legs in frustration at your own naivety.

what a bastard.

[countlessrealities]

Alastor's grin doesn't fade, of course, but the way his eyelids fall down half away and his teeth grit more tightly together shows how unimpressed he is with Adam's comeback. And, maybe, a little annoyed too, but he won't give the other the satisfaction to acknowledge that.

"I'm tempted to believe that you twisting my words around is to be blamed on your unsettling lack of smarts," he deadpans, drumming his claws over the dirty surface of the serving counter. "But Vaggie enjoys your company, so you can't be that dull. So, I'll assume that you're doing it on purpose."

Which also means that he won't bother to correct him again, or reply to any part of it.

"I kindly ask you," even if there's nothing kind in the way his shadow smirks and mimics crushing something that suspiciously looks like a bird, "to refrain from doing it ever again."

With that, the Radio demon melts in the shadows, only to reappear on the other side of the counter, humming a tune under his breath as he starts rummaging around the abandoned supplies. The ingredients are far from meeting his standards, quality wise, but they'll have to do.

"So we'll be soon meeting a little lady? Then I truly cannot make breakfast out of her. It would be a real crime!"

He laughs at his own words, collecting all he needs before pushing up his sleeves a little. His gloves come off next, getting neatly stashed in his inner pocket. Had they been in a more private setting, he would have taken off his coat and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, but this will have to do.

"So!" He shows Adam a form of bread, cut in two perfectly identical halves. "Any preference on the filling?"

Eugh. Adam can't help the brief look of disgust that flashes across his face with Alastor's particular choice in words. The word 'lover' conjures up a lot more than the word 'boyfriend' does. Please never speak to him again.

"So you think spending time with your lover," disgusting, but Adam doesn't miss a beat in continuing with the correction, "is more of a waste of time than hanging out with me of all people? Especially when he talks so much more properly than I do? I'm gonna tell him you said that the next time I see him."

It will be mentioned to Vaggie, the next time they talk, that Alastor blatantly decided to sidestep the 'boyfriend' accusation and go right for 'lover'. It could just as easily be that stupid, old-timey way he speaks, but either way, if he has to sit there with that awful image in his head, then he's not going to be sitting there alone.

For a split second, Adam was almost hopeful that Alastor's shift was a shift to depart. Which isn't an incorrect assumption, but he'd gotten it dreadfully backwards. A shift to make everyone else depart.

In the next split second, keeping up appearances doesn't seem to matter as much. If the nauseating sound of tearing flesh and screams don't cause Adam to tense up, then the frightened stampede does the trick. He tightens his wings around his form and wraps both arms around himself with a slight, protective hunch—Jesus Christ.

"... I was actually here for lunch," he mutters in disgust.

It hadn't just been a convenient excuse to play off the hand faithfully on his stomach. There's an irate sigh that follows that thought before Adam finally decides to have a seat—there's not exactly a line to wait in anymore. It takes a bit of careful wing-shifting before he decides to cautiously sit down. Something tells him this conversation won't end until he participates in it.

"No, I don't actually know its gender yet. But my hunch says girl. You happy now? Are we done here?"

[exactlymaximumgarden]

722 Schlatt please 🙏

722. park your car on my face - louis cole (link to req info here)

eheheheh this one is gonna be FILTHAY. also unrelated but he looks so scrumptious in this image so i had to share. nsfw under the cut (afab!reader).

the first time schlatt suggested you sit on his face, you were hesitant.

"what if i crush you?" you protested worriedly. "i don't want to suffocate you." still, the idea secretly excited you, as much as you didn't want to admit it.

however, schlatt clearly caught on to this. he could always read you like a book. and with the way your face grew bright as the picture of it all transpiring ignited in your mind, it wasn't all that hard for him to tell what your true thoughts were.

"c'mon, toots. y' won't crush me," he insisted. his voice was liquid smooth, like a warm honey. his tone paired with the way his large hands snaked around your waist, pulling you flush against him, was enough to cause you to short circuit. "i can handle it, y'know i can. lemme do this for you."

you bit your lip, torn.

"hey. i'm not trying t' force you, doll. i just think it'd be fun for us to at least try, y' followin' me? just to spice things up. but it's all up to you."

you couldn't resist. and now here the two of you are.

schlatt's head is nestled comfortably atop his pillow, and your thighs are spread just beside his mutton chops, allowing his tongue full access to your pussy. you're hovering just a tad above his lips, your worries from when he initially suggested the idea only almost a distant memory.

"dollface," he grunts. "stop pussyin' around. i wanted you to sit on my face, not fuckin' hover above it."

you're barely given time to process what he said before his hands clamp on your hips, yanking you downward to where he's completely swamped in between your thighs. a high-pitched whine escapes you, yet he only seems to feed off the reaction.

his tongue moves fervently against you, eating you out as if he's a man starved. it isn't long before any inhibitions melt away. your hips buck and roll in response to every little flick, kiss, and suck he leaves against your pussy.

"fuck, toots." it's a challenge for him to choke out any words. he's too lost in the moment, too busy drinking you in. "love that taste."

it's so clear how much he loves you. from the way you ride his face with reckless abandon and the way he continually praises you in between his ministrations, coaxing you to your climax. it isn't long before your orgasm comes crashing over you, and schlatt eagerly laps up the evidence of your arousal without a second thought.

your legs feel like they're made of jelly as you slightly lift yourself up off his lips, glancing down to check on him. his face is beet red, his eyes are half-lidded, and his lips and chin are slick with your cum. he gazes up at you with a dreamy haze in his eye.

"you okay?" you whisper quizzically. your own voice is shaky as you attempt to recuperate.

"more than okay." schlatt emits a breathless laugh. "what'd i tell ya, huh? fun, wasn't it?"

you nod with a sheepish grin.

"yeaaaah." he cranes his neck just enough to press a chaste kiss to your inner thigh. "i say we should do this more often."

[bumblingbabooshka]

SNW Christine has the vibes of someone who pours a glass of wine, hands it to Uhura, then starts drinking from the bottle. SNW Christine says she’s going to have “one glass of Romulan ale” and then pulls out a comedically large glass as a goof. Christine wore white converse with her thrift store dress to space prom. I can see this all clearly. She is this to me:

[thebibliosphere]

You know the dehydration was bad the moment you get some electrolytes in your system, and it feels like a hit from party drugs.

Like yeaaaah. feeling crazy. Might fuck around and sit up in bed for 20 minutes. Life on the edge (of syncope), baby!

[rhaenyra-storms]

for fluffy saturdays: Robb Stark and his wife reader cuddling by the fire, talking about the future

yeaaaah, i'm reviving this blog again after so long and i'm working through some asks! :) enjoy!

content warnings: just fluff, talk of having children together

Robb and you had been married for a few months now. The war was still raging on, but as long as you two were together, it all seemed a lot easier.

There were a few moments where you could just forget about all the horrible things around you.

Just like now, when you were cuddling by the fire in Riverrun. Robb had now experienced triumphs and defeats in the war against the Lannisters, but none of that mattered in this moment.

You were wearing your nightdress, sitting on some blankets in front of the crackling fireplace. Robb's hand was resting on your thigh, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Sometimes I can't believe you're real," he whispered, a few loose curls hanging into his face. He would shave his growing beard again tomorrow, but there was no need to look strong or perfect in front of you. There was no need to hide anything in the privacy of your room where nothing but your love for each other mattered.

"I guess I am," you answered with a low chuckle, moving closer to your husband and resting your head on his shoulder. Robb's strong arm wrapped around you, his face turning over to face the fire.

Your hand grabbed Robb's free one, intertwining your fingers and resting your connected hands on his thigh. There was a smile on his lips, a calm one.

"Do you think we will have a child soon?" You asked after a while, the thought itself making you smile. It was hard to set a child into this world, but Robb and you had been talking about it for so long and there was nothing better that could happen to you both.

"One day. And when this war is over, we're going to live at Winterfell and I'm going to teach him or her to ride a horse myself," Robb smiled, his arm moving down as his hand rubbed up and down on your back. "Maybe we will even be blessed with more than just one child."

While you couldn't deny that the prospect of having more than one child definitely sounded exhausting, the thought also made you feel warm around your heart. Having a family with Robb, getting to wake up next to your beautiful husband every morning and then seeing your children at the breakfast table... it seemed like a dream. The war had made you quite unsure about your future, but if you had any say in it, you would make sure that Robb would be there in all the different futures that might await you.

"At least the child will have someone to play with then. Maybe we should aim for more than one kid," you smiled, hand squeezing Robb's gently. A low laugh slipped past your husband's lips and his eyes seemed to light up with excitement.

“Whatever the future will bring, I am happy to spend it with you.” His words were gentle and accompanied by a smile, his hand squeezing yours again tightly. You knew that Robb would always be at your side, no matter the circumstances.

The war had left you both unsure about the future, but it felt good to talk about it in the quiet of your shared bedchamber. Where no one could disturb you and you could share even the most naive thoughts with each other.

Maybe it would all be well in the end.

[petew21-blog]

Poolverine

Spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine

Deadpool and Wolverine aproached Cassandra while the others were battling her soldiers. Wolverine was suppressing his rage, Deadpool, on the other hand, was suppressing his words. He was still talking, just not as much as he would normally.

Cassandra Nova was ready for everything. After all, she was here for her whole life. She has seen everything. Even Loki escaping from the void. But now, these two basically immortal beings stood in front of her. One was a bigger paij in the ass than the other.

Deadpool:"Ok, Baldilocks slash wannabe Walter White in your kingdom. We know we had our ups and downs from the moment you killed Johnny, may he rest in peace. We loved him and will never forget him. But I gotta rain on your parade here, and I hope your bald head is not too sensitive for some cold rain drops, because now is the time to let us all go and end this drama show."

Wolverine:"You said you'll be holding back."

Deadpool:"Ohhh, this is holding back. I haven't even started."

Wolverine:"She has the power to kill you with a snap of her fingers, and you still think the best way to stop her is to insult her?"

Cassandra just stood in front of them, speechless.

Deadpool:"I think your X-men spoiled you with all the WE'RE-ALL-IN-THIS-TOGETHER attitude. Well, pal! This is my show, and here, we roast our enemies before we stab them after many unsuccessful attempts, moment of desperation and a collab with Madonna."

Cassandra:"I have no idea what he is on about, but the two of you look like a married couple after twenty years of hating each other's guts. And you know what couple therapists always say to the unfunctional couple?"

Deadpool:"Yep! They say, ‘You either learn to compromise… or one of you learns to hide the body really well.’ So, which one of us is digging tonight, Logan?!"

Cassandra:"I just... How do you put up with him?"

Logan:"I have known him for like 5 hours and killed him several times."

Deadpool:"And so did I! Cute, aren't we?"

Cassandra:"I can't... See each other's perspective and get out of my sight."

The two were now transported via portal back to one of the worlds to empty Xavier mansion.

Deadpool, now in Wolverine's body, stood up and looked down. "Ohhhhh, baby, yesss. Look at these!!!" Wade now popping his new claws. "Snikt! Yeaaaah. Oh, I could get used to this."

Deadpool turned his head to the audience and said:"Hey folks. Not to alarm you. Deadpool is still here, just a slightly broody and hairier version. Only now I got! Claaaaaws!!!" Wade sliced through a nearby painting that immediatelyfell down, destroying a statue on the table. "Whoopsie. Just normal Wolverine collateral damage, am I right?"

Logan:"What the hell is this? Why am I suddenly feeling... chatty? I need to get of this tight red spandex and this horrible mask."

Deadpool is now doing ridiculous poses in the reflection of a mirror. Screaming and scratching the air. "Look at me, I'm like a Canadian action figure." Wink at the audience.

Logan:"Stop this Wilson. We need to get Charles."

Deadpool:"Oh I don't know, I got this sudden urge to sing and get a circus. We shouldn't waste time."

They both search the house, but all the X-men are gone.

Now in the privacy of a small bathroom. Deadpool, stands in front o the mirror, shirtless, flexing. "Ohhhh look at that". He pops out his claws again. "If only I had these babies during my last taco truck robbery .- I mena, purchase."

Deadpool grabs a comb on the sink. "The hair! What an untamed mane. I look like a mix between a badger and a bad scripted shampoo comercial." Then he leans closer to the mirror. "And check out this jawline. Ladies and gents, feast your eyes."

"One, two, three, four, five...six! Finally jackpot. It's really like a washboard for all my dirty clothes. I could do laundry on these bad boys, If I ever did laundry."

"And what do we have here." Deadpool raises his furry eyebrows, following the hairy trail under, leading to the massive buldge. "Oh Logan, I knew you've been hiding some serious adamantium down here, but damn. No wonder all the X-men want to sleep with you. Pun intended. I mean... If I knew that you had this much heat packed in here, I would have switched with you sooner."

Wade strikes a final pose and blows a kiss to his reflection:"Wolvie, you beautiful, hairy beast, I may never give this body back to you."

Logan enters the bathroom with a scowl, freezing in horror at the sight before him.

Deadpool in Logan's body, completely naked and a little too pleased with his new situation.

"What the hell are you doing, Wade!!!"

"Hey, Wolvie. Just getting acquainted with the goods. Man, you've been holding out for me. Honestly, If there was a claw shooting out of this thing, I wouldn't even be surprised anymore." Wade said with a smile, gripping his hard dick in Logan's face

"Get your filthy hands off my...!" Logan fighting the urge to kill his own body

"Logan, it's your hands, don't forget that. So that means I did nothing wrong. Your body that touched yourself. I haven't touched anything, if you think about it." Towards the audience:"It's like flashbacks from puberty."

"Besides, I only wanted to take your body for a test drive, Logan. You know, making sure that all the gears work before returning the keys. Quality control!"

"If you don't stop now, I'll claw off that smug off your... your real face when we get back" Logan gets closer to his old body, now feeling a strange urge to want him to get closer. Both of the bodies pulling towards each other

Deadpool:"Logan? Did you pay Magneto to get us closer? Cause I feel a strange force pulling me to you and I have to say i don't mind it"

Logan:"I'm not doing anything. I... No way. I'm trying to go away from you"

Deadpool:"Oh yeah, it's happening, baby. My body can't resist this beautiful, hairy pile of muscles, and your body is controlled by one of the most perverted minds alive."

"YOU SICK BASTARD. This is all your twisted head. If you'll be enjoying even a second of this." Logan shouted

Deadpool:"Oh, come on. It's just chemistry. You can't fight it"

Logan:"Gotta get control of this."

Deadpool:"No need for that. Your body's got the hots for me. I'm a walking talking thirst trap now. Give in, big guy. Let's make it weird."

Logan now with his new hands still in spandex, touching his old body. "Wade... When this is over... I'm going to make you regret all of this."

Deadpool:"I'm counting on it. But until then, you're mine"

Wade pulls of his old mask down from Logan's head:"Ohhh there is that crispy chipsy face I haven't seen for a while". Logan:"Please just shut up"

Their hands our now all over each other. Logan's burly figure standing above Deadpool's figure. Logan's body under Wade's control now pushes his old body towards the wall. Breaking it. They get to Cyclops and Jean's bedroom, now vacant, ready for their action. Dadpool starts making out with his body still on the ground from the collision. Logan wants to fight back, but gives up and makes out with his bearded face. It feels kind of nice, but he can't ever admit that to Wade.

Wade picks up Logan from the ground using his claws, and with their help, he rips of the spandex off of Logan. Scratching him in the process. Logan now moaning in pain, looking deeply into his old eyes. He now understands why many people called him a "beast." He did look like one. But sexy one at that.

Wade threw Logan on the bed. Turning him around. Logan was ready for immediate penetration, but suddenly he felt a moist thing pushing its way between Deadpool's hairy ass. Was he now experiencing rimming? "Wade, no...!"

Deadpool:"Don't worry, sweetpie. I know what my body likes. Just relax, enjoy and don't fart in my face"

Logan has never felt this feeling in such an intimate place. And it wasn't even his body.

Wade now turned Logan to his back. He positioned himself. "Ready? I know you're used to pain, but this might be a bit... unsettling."

Logan:"I can take a bit of pain... AHHHHHHH"

Deadpool."Sorry, boo. Haven't stretched out that thing for quite a while."

He started pushing more and more. At that moment, Logan tried to get up and leave. But something in Logan's body overtook Wade. He took both of his claws and pushed them through Deadpool's body's forearms, securing him in place. Logan screamed in pain. "Why???"

Deadpool:"Don't want you to give up during the best part when it stops hurting"

Sweat was dripping from Logan's body all over Deadpool's. All of Logan's hair were now glistening in sweat.

"Ohhhh moth.... This is so amazing. I feel like a Republican during the Fourth of July" Deadpool screamed out while his claws were still in place.

He picked up the pace, and when he saw that Logan was now moaning in pleasure and not in pain, he took out his claws and just enjoyed the ride.

"Oh Wolvie. I think I'm gonna get you pregnant now."

"Just fuck me!!!"

Now very close to the finish, Deadpool took out his dick and pointed it at his old face, cumming all over his old chest and hitting his body's eye. Logan came too, but on his stomach. He was still mesnerized. How come, through all these years, he never even thought about stimulating his prostate?

Both now watching each other, sweaty, out of breath.

Logan:"You won't tell a soul."

Deadpool looking at the audience, smirking:"Promise"

And at the corner of the room a quiet girly voice spoke out:"Promise". Kitty sunk into the wall leaving embarassed to the next room

Message from Inbox :)

Yo, i love your writing. And with your last story with Hugh and Ryan....What about their characters?, Wolverine and Deadpool swapping bodies thanks to Cassandra Nova powers that also made them aroused for each other in order to distract them from stopping her. Wade can't help but to give into Logan's body urges to dominate, and Logan just want the voices gone.