#Xie Lian meta

[biboomerangboi]

I just realised we’ve all just assumed that Xie Lian looks at the wraith butterflies and assumes they are beautiful and ethereal because they are soft with him and not weapons but I think we are forgetting this guys special interest is swords and weapons in general he could probably sense just how deadly they were and that only made them more beautiful to him.

[areadersuncertaintyprinciple]

Xie Lian and his morality makes for interesting discussions on the so-called moral compass

This is basically two metas, Xie Lian’s morality + evolution of his morality, packaged as one because I was too emotionally exhausted to untangle them

Throughout "Tian Guan Ci Fu," Xie Lian is portrayed as a character with a strong sense of compassion, empathy, and a desire to do what is right. His moral compass is guided by his core values of kindness, selflessness, and justice and  he consistently demonstrates a willingness to help others, even at great personal cost.

As a young prince/god, he initially exhibits a somewhat naive and idealistic perspective on morality, shaped by his sheltered upbringing and limited exposure to the complexities of the world. However, after spending 800 years in the mortal realm and facing numerous trials and tribulations, his morality undergoes a notable evolution and maturation.

While his core values of compassion, selflessness, and justice remain steadfast throughout the entire story, he embraces a deeper understanding of personal responsibility. He acknowledges that he cannot save everyone or single-handedly resolve all injustices. However, he remains committed to doing what he can within his capacity, focusing on the individuals and causes that he can positively impact. He recognizes that sometimes difficult choices must be made and that the outcomes may not always align perfectly with his ideals. He becomes more pragmatic in his decision-making, considering long-term consequences in his moral deliberations.

As Xie Lian navigates the mortal realm and encounters various individuals with differing motivations and moral perspectives, he starts to recognize the shades of gray that exist in ethical decision-making. He learns that the world is not simply divided into right and wrong, but rather a complex interplay of circumstances, intentions, and consequences.

Additionally, Xie Lian's moral compass is not without its own internal conflicts. He grapples with his own past mistakes and failures, questioning whether he is truly deserving of his revered status and struggling with feelings of guilt and self-doubt. This self-reflection adds depth to his character and prompts discussions on the nature of morality, personal growth, and the importance of self-forgiveness.

However, what makes Xie Lian's morality particularly interesting is the way it challenges traditional notions of right and wrong. His innate compassion and empathy remain central to his morality throughout the story. As he matures, he learns to extend these qualities not just to those he deems deserving but also to those who have made mistakes or are considered morally compromised. His ability to see the good in people, even in the face of their flaws, prompts reflection on the complexities of human nature and the potential for redemption. 

Xie Lian's moral journey also invites exploration of moral relativism and the idea that morality can be subjective and context-dependent. His actions and decisions are influenced by the specific circumstances he faces, the motivations of other characters, and the consequences of his choices. This opens up discussions on the fluidity and subjectivity of morality and the notion that there might not be a universal moral standard.

[raindrops-on-concrete]

Hua Cheng wearing wedding colours, Xie Lian wearing funeral colours

Hua Cheng's spiritual weapon being forged in a last desperate attempt to stay alive, Xie Lian's spiritual weapon being forged in a futile attempt to die

Hua Cheng who is dead and has died three times clinging to life with everything he has to the point where he became one of the most powerful ghosts in the world, Xie Lian who is immortal and literally can not die trying to kill himself and being self-sacrificing

Hua Cheng who loves life choosing to die for Xie Lian, Xie Lian who wants to die choosing to live for Hua Cheng (live as in actually enjoy living as opposed to being idle and suffering)

[emotionaldisaster909]

ALSO NOTICE THAT

Hua Cheng smiled when qr said that Xie Lian has him on a leash

AND THIS IS THE FACE HE MADE

AFTER QR SAID THAT XIE LIAN WAS LICKING HIS BOOTS

THAT’S

A L L YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT HIM

[aerscribbles]

So I’ve been thinking about the thing with monstrous/uncanny Hua Cheng that’s been going around and had a thought.

What about Xie Lian? He deserves to be a little freaky too!

Just think about it!

You have an entire conversation with him, and notice he hasn’t blinked even once (he only blinks to clear dust from his eyes).

Xie Lian who can comfortably, casually dislocate all of his joints.

Xie Lian who falls asleep just about anywhere, as still as a corpse.

Xie Lian who is constantly a little too warm to be normal, due to always running a fever to burn away the illnesses he picks up.

Xie Lian who sustains a serious injury but keeps doing whatever he was doing.

Xie Lian who is just really poisonous/venomous due to his diet- I personally see him as mainly neurotoxic but you do you.

Xie Lian whose eyes do the reflective thing like a cat.

I mean, an ancient god of death and misfortune sounds like an eldritch horror out of context- and I don’t think the undercurrent of fear beneath the disdain from the heavens is unwarranted.

Anyway, Xie Lian is a horrorterror.

[heartinhyacinth]

Something that I’ve always loved about Hualian is that throughout the series, people had warned Xie Lian of Hua Cheng left and right, told him various horror stories, rumors of cruelty and malice, etc., and yet…Hua Cheng never once (as far as I can remember) tried to counter the accusations with words. He never defended himself or his actions to Xie Lian, never told him of the ways it was false or not as bad as it sounds.

At times, he even went as far as to do the opposite, one example being when Xie Lian said he’d heard rumors of eming (to which Hua Cheng responds, “like how it’s evil, forged from the blood of a living sacrifice?”); when Xie Lian brushed them off as only rumors that shouldn’t be taken at face value, Hua Cheng only smiled (in the donghua at least, we couldn’t see his reaction in the novel considering Xie Lian’s back was to him), and didn’t say anything else on the matter, not refuting or confirming whether it was true, nor proving the details that would surely paint him in a much better light than Xie Lian’s colleagues had.

He’s always let Xie Lian form his own opinions on things, and that includes himself.

Much like the novels themselves, Hua Cheng takes a very “show don’t tell” approach to things. He doesn’t need to tell Xie Lian he can trust him, that he’d never harm him, and that he has reasons for doing what he does. Xie Lian already knows this. He’s shown it to him in his actions. If he had to say the words for Xie Lian to believe him, he’d have seen it as a failure to live up to them. It’s very in character for him imo—he hates hypocrisy and hates when people say one thing and then do another. So it makes sense that he would simply sit back and trust that Xie Lian would see him for who he is.

It’s all very similar to the fact that they don’t say “I love you” throughout all eight books (which I absolutely adore and I’ll make a separate post on soon).

[xueyuverse]

It's ironic to me that part of the fandom insists so much that Hua Cheng's personality revolves around Xie Lian when in fact MXTX created Hua Cheng first and then had to make Xie Lian his ideal type. Like, the truth is that Xie Lian was molded for Hua Cheng. I find this contradiction very funny, I'm sorry.

But they were indeed created for each other.

Hua Cheng has a strong personality, he is firm in his ideals and beliefs, assertive in his opinions, cold in his justice and someone who does not bend the rules just to fit in, he creates a third way instead of adapting to a world that hates him and was cruel to him.

His ideal type would have to be someone as confident as him, who not only does not bend the rules, but also does not get corrupted by difficulties, someone benevolent enough to see people like him with kindness, because only someone faithful in his beliefs would be able to be so different from everything that the world says is right — because the right thing is for you to annihilate people like Hua Cheng, whether they are innocent or not, just because of a supposed curse that they did not ask for.

This meta is based on this excerpt from the afterword that MXTX put in TGCF ↓

When it comes to character designs, the Shou’s were decided on first for the first two novels, but I was torn over the Gong’s for a long time, and needed a run-in period. Hua Cheng, however, was an exception. Inspiration struck and there he was; inspiration struck again, and I blinded one of his eyes.

[...]

It was actually the Shou, Xie Lian, who tortured me for up to half a year’s time. When the novel started serializing, I was still torn over him for a long time.

[...]

But the most important thing is, by my instincts, someone like Hua Cheng will most definitely love someone like this. So, after a good half a year’s worth of qualms, in the end I still typesetted him: It’s you!

Speaking more about this postscript, I found it interesting how for MXTX, Xie Lian was the most difficult character she has ever played. People tend to think that Xie Lian only has two personality traits: (false, for many) kindness and idiocy. The idiocy may even be right lol, but when you stop to think about it, Xie Lian is a really difficult character to create and, mainly, to develop.

For all the layers he has, he could easily be a snobbish prince, a vengeful and bitter ex-prince, a fallen prince who rises again to reconquer his kingdom and reclaim his throne or a spotless saint who is always intelligent and wise and is above things like sadness, anger, lust, etc.

We know that Xie Lian is none of these things, he was not made for these plots. But if he is none of these things, then what could he be? Honestly, I find it very difficult for anyone to come to the conclusion that your protagonist is a "loser" who failed and has no ambition to rebuild his kingdom and become the new king. It's bold to make your protagonist a poor and extremely unlucky nomad, especially with the princely background that you gave him, we can see from the amount of stories out there about protagonists who lost their kingdoms and then have a path of reconquest that it's difficult not to be tempted to follow that path.

Of course, Xie Lian is a god, something greater than a prince or king, but he is a poor god, known as "the joke of the three kingdoms", he has no wealth and for 800 years he only had 1 believer that he didn't even know existed and he is also known as the "god of plague" and "immortal scrap collector", unconventional titles in the literary world lol

He must experience youthful ignorance, overestimation of his own abilities, have been laughable, been foolish, made mistakes, despaired, felt hatred, gone crazy. But he can’t run, and he can’t hide; everything is what it is. All this was killing me. Not just within the text, but outside the text too. My mediation was useless, and I’ve no energy anymore either, so in order not to be affected, I stopped looking at comments altogether. Since I always habitually vaccinate myself before a serialization begins, speculating on all the worst possible scenarios and preparing myself mentally, by the time serialization started I had already expected how all the negative comments would go down. But after much hesitation, I still thought, why not try all different kinds of characters? I haven’t tried writing a main character like this before.

— MXTX

[duohensheng]

I’m sure this has been said a million times before but. hua cheng asking xie lian to remember that his pain matters and to consider the impact on himself before doing something dangerous is, to me, the greatest act of love so far. he says remember you can feel. remember that feeling pain matters. AND THEN XIE LIAN had the utter audacity and gall to respond right back— you too. your pain is important too. they build each other into realising their hurt is important. when no one else ever has. this untouchable crown prince and redoubtable ghost king. when they’ve both pushed through unbearable pain endless times. when they’ve both built everything they are around being useful—and fuck the consequences they pretend not to feel. your pain matters. don’t throw yourself into danger. when no one else ever has

[estrella-etoile]

Hua Cheng's Very Different Loves

There is often a fundamental misunderstanding of Hua Cheng's love for Xie Lian. The biggest of them was Mu Qing and Feng Xin's assumption at seeing the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods.

They see Hua Cheng as obsessive, dangerous. And given the history with Bai Wuxian, yeah, not entirely in the wrong for that assumption.

It's hard to understand that Hua Cheng is one who has truly separated his devotion from his romantic love for Xie Lian. Because devotion/worship of a god and love of a person are different.

At least until now, the devout and obsessive level of worship that Hua Cheng exhibits is the first type. The type of a religious devotee. And that cave, that's what we see. Hua Cheng did not make the sculptures and the paintings for Xie Lian exactly, he didn't do it with a plan to bring Xie Lian there and ask for praise, he did it because Xie Lian was his totem, the very thing that could center him even at times of extreme suffering to pull through. Religious love is not something that expects reciprocation, it's not something that requires anything of the subject of worship except their existence. And the Hua Cheng of the past 800 years poured his obsessive love into this type of love, the love that he does not have any expectations for.

We know that Hua Cheng also felt the other type of love. His sexual awakening was downright traumatic. Seriously, imagine being fourteen, and having to defend your beloved god from sex demons who are forcing you to realize that your devotion to your god has an edge of desire, all while said god is stabbing himself to keep from acting on the extreme discomfort of sexual urges forced on him by those same damn sex demons. No wonder Hua Cheng is so absolutely freaked out and a little disgusted about harboring that type of love for Xie Lian.

When Hua Cheng finally finds Xie Lian again after 800 years, I fundamentally believe that Hua Cheng would have been content with an existence of watching over and protecting his god from the sidelines. His devotion mattering more than that sliver of self-loathing desire that would never be erased.

The story we got to read though, the one that makes TGCF so special is the way that the other love grows between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. They enjoy each other's company, enjoy teasing and talking, enjoy the little touches that they share. When Hua Cheng talks about his beloved, he speaks of his romantic love and winning over that person. He speaks of it shyly, because he knows it is something that has to be shared and has to grow naturally. It's what makes their love story so very human, because Hua Cheng treated his religious love and his desirous love as completely separate from each other. And the best part? Xie Lian knows this, understands this, has no doubt about this.

It means that the scene in the cave, where both Feng Xin and Mu Qing mistook Hua Cheng's obsessive devotion for obsessive desire, Xie Lian recognizes correctly.

And Xie Lian reciprocates those romantic feelings.

I like to picture those days that Xie Lian wakes up and finds the other side of his bed empty, then wanders to the Thousand Lights Temple to see Hua Cheng there changing the single white flower in his god's hands, then bowing his head and saying a prayer. Xie Lian rolls his eyes, because well, he's right there, but it's Hua Cheng's ritual, and whether they are husbands, whether they had rough and enjoyable sex the night before, Hua Cheng won't slack on his religious love just because he gets to share romantic love with his husband and god.

[citronverveine]

when you think about it, tgcf really wouldn’t have the same impact if xie lian didn’t cultivate through abstinence.

it’s funny because it’s not even relevant to the core of the plot itself; xie lian never uses his cultivation as a reason to stay away from hua cheng. he only reminds the reader of it when he drinks wine, which is pretty irrelevant anyway. but if it doesn’t impact his relationship with hua cheng then it must serve another purpose, otherwise it wouldn’t be here, because things in fiction don’t exist just for the sake of existing.

xie lian abstaining from earthly pleasures fits into the narrative of control, expectations, and divinity, the transcendance of his mortal body.

xie lian’s goal, very early on, is to become a god. and what are gods? above mortals. or that’s what everyone thinks, but not xie lian, not entirely at least. xie lian views godhood as a means to serve the people, not being above them. this is why he doesn’t think kneeling before gods is right, and why he doesn’t want his believers to kneel.

obviously, very few people agree with him and tell him how his godhood should be, even his own believers who think it’s stupid to not kneel before a god.

xie lian always saw godhood as a tool, and his body as a tool to reach godhood. xie lian is self-sacrificing in nature, and even if at first he doesn’t really know how much it takes, it reaches extremes once he is forced to self-sacrifice for a hundred people at once.

during that time, xie lian’s body and autonomy was taken from him. “this is what you want? then take it.” it makes it seem as though it was his choice. he wanted to help, so he got to help, he should be happy, right?

i often wondered why xie lian didn’t just say to hell with it and broke his cultivation through his eight hundred years of banishment. not once, as far as we know, does he willingly break it completely and irreversibly, even though he is shackled, even though he doesn’t even actively cultivate anymore.

i think it’s about control. during that time xie lian had very little control over his life.

godhood is about repressing your human traits. when he was a god, xie lian was asked not to care, not to intervene, not to help. he was asked to sit back and watch as his people suffered, as his kingdom threatened to fall. he couldn’t.

that’s why he couldn’t be a god. he realized that himself after almost releasing the resentful spirits on Yong’an. he ascended and asked to get bannished once again. all of what he did was too human, from start to finish, and he would never be fit for a god.

his cultivation was the third and last shackle, self-imposed from the start. the first shackle bound his spiritual power, the second his luck, and the third one his cultivation, asking him to repress his humanity.

this is why it’s important that xie lian makes the choice of breaking his cultivation for hua cheng. it’s an obvious choice when you understand all of this. hua cheng gave xie lian his autonomy back by letting him be himself and making his own choices, and trusting him with them. never did he doubt xie lian, never did he tell him what to do, even when he had his own opinion on the matter. hua cheng lets xie lian be. while supporting him through it all. he’s always behind him, no matter what happens, no matter whether xie lian does good or bad, he’ll always be there to catch him regardless of what he does, because he is there for who he is. he’s xie lian. he’s human. it doesn’t matter that he’s a god, a prince, a scrap collector, a curse.

and because xie lian has finally found someone who accepts him as a whole, can he finally let himself be whole and let go of the control he has on his body. he doesn’t have to hold back. he doesn’t have to try. he can indulge. he can be human. he can want. he can love. he can hurt. he can cry. he can laugh.

tl;dr: xie lian, once aware he has someone that will accept him, the whole of him, can finally let go of any artificial control on his self to fit in what the world expects of him

[magicpotatothoughts]

TGCF reread new finds #1

Xie Lian actively and consciously knows that he is attracted to HC the MOMENT THEY MEET in the Ox Cart. Like it’s not just blank gay panic, he knows.

His beauty was deadly like a sword, sharp and mesmerising. Xie Lian only met his eyes for a moment, then lowered his eyes in defeat.

MATE, normally wouldn’t you continue to be mesmerised and can’t peel your eyes away? That is, UNLESS YOURE WHIPPED. XL knows that SL's looks affect him to this degree. Defeat is the key word here.

Also

The distance between them had closed too fast. he suddenly didn't know what to do[...]Xie Lian blanked on the spot. He watched as the tall and slender youth walked away with his giant bag of junk as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do, and it made him mutter inwardly, Forgive my sins.

Making a rich young lad carry your things? Making him sleep in your crappy temple? That doesn't warrant the weighty thought? FORGIVE WHAT SINS Xie Lian??!!!

Many village girls saw (HC) and blushed [...] Xie Lian didn't know what they were going to ask, but felt instinctively that it must be stopped at once, and cried, "No!"

Jealous jealous boi! XL WAS POSSESSIVE after ONE night spent together at Puqi Shrine. Didn’t XL just say to SL that he will have no problem in the love department because girls will throw themselves at him? Yo, why are you cock-blocking? Everyone says HC is insane, no XL is equally insane for the other!

Also, when HC revealed that it's his real skin after the Banyue arc, XL instinctively poked him. Then

He looked at his own finger then hid it away, betraying nothing of his thoughts.

What thoughts XL ?!! Explain yourself right now!

Jumping back to OX CART scene, Xie Lian's character development was foreshadowed when they were talking about the gifting of ghost ashes.

Book 1: Xie Lian sighed. "It certainly is painful to think about, to have given everything for love and lose everything in return."

This is what Xie Lian is most afraid of! Like even thinking back to Xie Lian pushing Feng Xin away in Book 4, he definitely operated under that mindset. Love is a risk, it's something to be feared. Even now 800+ years later, he still feels that way and doesn't allow himself to get close to anyone. It just hits so much harder thinking that he operated under that for so many centuries.

Then Hua Cheng says

"What there to be afraid of? If it were me, I'd have no regrets giving away my ashes"

Which I think really changed the way that Xie Lian thought about love. Book 5 Xie Lian completely operates with Love is empowering and isn't something to be afraid of.

TGCF isn't about XL realising his feelings, literally from Book 1 it's about him wondering if it's worthwhile to act on them.

Three things, is this person worth losing cultivation over for?

He needs the reassurance that this person must reciprocate his feelings.

Then HC changed his perspective on love from FEAR -> EMPOWERMENT.

XL is soooo self-aware (unlike SQQ from SVSSS and WWX from MDZS), he's an unreliable narrator in the way that he doesn't reveal everything to the reader, especially his own feelings until he was absolutely sure that there really was both a physical and romantic attraction. I wanted to make this post to dispel the assumption for XL it was easy to forego 800+ years of cultivation. It was not? He ABSOLUTELY thought about it carefully.

[biboomerangboi]

Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.

Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.

Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.

But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.

Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).

Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.

Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.

[sisislair]

Thoughts on the importance of ghost city arc to building up Hualian's relationship.

Hua Cheng showing Xie Lian his true form as promised. Xie Lian getting to see him in his role as ruler of the ghost city, and not casting any judgement on it. He already trusts Hua Cheng enough to wholey believe he won't let things get out of hand in the gambling den.

God the gambling cup scene. What can I even say? The tenderness, the obvious teasing in this moment of intense intimacy. The shared bun. How obviously he dotes on him from the very beginning.

And it's not like Xie Lian trusts him blindly! He is very aware that Hua Cheng could very well be behind the missing official giving the timing. He just doesn't believe that Hua Cheng goes around killing or kidnapping people willy nilly. So when the waning moon officer is acting suspicious, he gladly latches onto another possible explanation for what's going on, but he doesn't fully dismiss his suspicions.

Trust but verify.

I always love reading Xie Lian's introduction to paradise manor, because it is so blindingly obvious that Hua Cheng is trying to court him. But he still leaves enough room for interpretation that if Xie Lian doesn't want this, he can pass it off as a joke. Just being in his presence, being able to feed him and offer shelter is enough for him.

And luckily for him it is working! Xie Lian is a bit overwhelmed at times by how much Hua Cheng gives him, but you can also tell that he deeply cherishes it.

And he is so excited about the armory! Hua Cheng set this up specifically for him, and the only reward he desires is getting to see Xie Lian's reaction to it. To see Xie Lian get to express himself in genuine happiness, to share love in an interest that they both have, truly I think that is the happiest both of them have been in a long time.

Of course the time that Xie Lian spends with him as San lang in book 1 is important! It's vital for establishing their initial rapport with each other, as well as the beginnings of trust. But it is under false identity. Ghost city allows both of them to interact for the first time both fully knowing who the other person is, and what that means for each of them.

They get to just bond and exist together for a bit during this arc, and that's very important to building up their relationship enough to see through some of the things ahead.

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

another reason i think that xie lian felt an instant connection on the ox cart is because he and hua cheng both grew up in xianle.

there are maybe 4 people still alive that grew up in that culture. based on my own experience, you can pick up on things like accent, cadence, references, and humor that suggest a person is from the same place as you without consciously noticing it. that sense of comfort and similarity probably played into their instant chemistry.

[yea-baiyi]

also while i’m thinking about autistic xie lian. xie lian learning to fully relax around hua cheng. all the sweet things—xie lian burying his head in hua cheng’s shoulder when he gets overwhelmed. snuggling w hua cheng to recharge. holding hua cheng’s hand and using his jewellery to stim. wearing the soft robes that hua cheng gives him, rather than the coarse rough ones he got used to wearing. but also. we already know hua cheng is happy to support his special interest and be an enthusiastic audience for infodumping, so. xie lian unlocking full gremlin mode. rediscovering highly specific food habits he didn’t have the luxury of before. going nonverbal and locking himself up in hua cheng’s palace and only hua cheng is allowed to see him. shoving his whole body down the back of hua cheng’s chair. let’s see him get well and truly weird

[emotionaldisaster909]

After burning the Paradise Manor

Xie Lian got so deeply sad

He believes that he just ruined another relationship with someone who’s dear to him

Someone who treated him so well

Probably the first person to show him such sincere fondness

And he’s already accepted that it can’t be mended

His another failure

All of his own making

In less than a week someone managed to become important to him

And he already managed to betray and hurt them

To spit on everything they’ve so selflessly given him

He didn’t mean to

Didn’t want things to end this way

But of course they did

Again