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aelaer · 5 years ago

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So I have a request: A Stephen who, in the Canon compliant universe, returns to the Sanctum for the first time in 5 years, breaks down and is completely devastated and exhausted from everything that happened. And then a time skip, to Stephen now having moved on, in acceptance. He may still feel a little guilty, but is immensly thankful for intimately knowing the beautiful souls who sacrificed themselves and resolved to cherish and celebrate their lives with their friends and family.

So my goal for this was to keep it under 1500 words. I completely failed that goal.

But that is what I am going to attempt to do with my ask prompts (should I get any more in the future), mostly because I have three multi-chapter stories completely spiraling out of control (and a fourth that needs its last chapter completed) and I will never get my Stephen Strange bingo card done by November if I keep on writing these super long things for every square XD

I’m not terribly pleased with the ending but oh well. Nothing was coming for days and I figured I sat on this for long enough.

Fill for @stephenstrangebingo square ‘It’s not your fault’. Warning for canon compliance and my obsessive need to explain away plot-holes with magic-science for a few paragraphs before actually addressing the prompt :P

Title: Black TagRating: GenPairings: NoneWord count: About 3k

The sun was setting over a celebratory New York City when Stephen came again to the New York Sanctum after five years gone. The powers that surrounded the building muffled the cheers and shouts and crying out on Bleecker Street from all the locals, unaware that the man who had helped instigate all their suffering was within the neighborhood.

It had been well over thirty hours since he had come back with the rest of the Disappeared. He was done with giving his report to the other Masters of Kamar-Taj and done with his part in what immediate reorganization was needed for their order. They had finally let him go to rest; he was alone. Wong, for instance, was still settling things as one of those who had survived the Decimation, and still helping others come to terms with what had passed.

And now, now all Stephen could think of was bed. He had washed up a bit in Kamar-Taj, thankfully, for he did not know if he would have had the stamina to do it now. The Cloak more-or-less carried him to his room as his body trembled, complete exhaustion overwhelming his entire being. He fell asleep near instantly.

It wasn’t until twelve hours later, as the dawn broke through his (unnatural) window to an untarnished view of the eastern coastline, that his exhaustion had dimmed to weariness and his mind had time to sort through everything that had happened.

Stephen had not spent his five years gone idle; unlike most other souls that were caught within the Soul Stone due to Thanos, he had an awareness of consciousness due to his connection to the Mystic Arts that made him able to utilize his time, even if time was not something he could feel passing. In those five years he had drawn power from the Soul Stone, a continuous draw into his own spirit to prepare for what he had to do upon his return.

(He knew, of course, that the Stone’s housing was disintegrated into atoms back in 2018. However, its raw energy was not actually gone, just scattered like the rest of the Infinity Stones. The first rule of thermodynamics was something Thanos did not consider, or maybe he did not care so long as that power was not easily obtainable for some time to come. In the end, he supposed it really didn’t matter.)

When he came to on Titan once more, he spared a minute briefly explaining the situation to the others, then asked for complete silence as he got them back to Earth, and more; for he had taken his borrowed energy to send a mental message to all warriors across the universe that he had found within the Soul Stone: The one who sent you away for five years must be defeated. Prepare for battle.

And then he made portals. So many fucking portals, portals he had no business having the ability to create, portals connected to the locations of those warriors across the universe, portals created with the power of the Soul Stone accumulated over five years and fully spent over the course of five minutes.

It was a damned miracle he had anything left in him for battle, but the Soul Stone was unlike any power source he had ever used before, including the Time Stone. Channeling the energy of Infinity Stones was unique to the standard rules of magic already, but the Soul Stone’s power was— indescribable.

So he had been able to battle. To hold himself up. And to watch as people from all over the universe, both the newly resurrected and those that had lived in a broken world, were slaughtered by Thanos’s armies. Slaughtered and with no way to return, not this time; he had used the Time Stone once to reverse death, and he had paid the price with several (hundreds, thousands) of his own deaths.

But the fabric of reality surrounding the battlefield was already torn by the combined actions of both the Avengers and Thanos, and it would tear even further with the final sacrifice; to use the Stones again at that moment, even one, was to rip the threads of the universe to pieces.

And so the dead remained dead.

Even though Stephen knew this, knew the logic behind his actions, knew that in triage situations, some people got the black tag— it did not stop his stomach from twisting into a knot as he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling and weighed down by the consequences of his actions.

In the silence and loneliness of the Sanctum, even while logic echoed in his head, guilt settled in the depths of Stephen’s core and began to make a home there.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Despite pretending everything was okay and despite going through the motions of his duties, the guilt grew into a beast that swiftly consumed Stephen’s being. He felt little need to eat and his sleep was plagued with new nightmares that caused him to work himself into exhaustion (and thus dreamless nights).

By the time Tony’s funeral arrived, he had lost several pounds and the raccoon eyes were becoming more prominent. A small glamour spell helped conceal that, but still Wong looked at him with thinly-veiled concern.

“Are you sure that the invitation was not just for you?” Stephen asked as he found a suit, miraculously still intact after years (literally years) of no wear.

“Of course I’m sure,” Wong said slowly, his voice carefully even. “You were mentioned by name.”

“Ah.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll be ready in time, then.”

Wong was still looking at him with that expressionless and yet all-knowing look, so Stephen turned away and went to the ensuite bathroom to avoid uncomfortable questions. They didn’t have time to prod into that right now.

After all, it would be rather rude of him to be late to the funeral of a man he had black tagged.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

His lack of regular meals and general lack of care for eating was a new thing for him in this post-Thanos world (but he just didn’t have time for such trivial pursuits as food, not when he had five years to catch up on and a very damaged border between realities to monitor, to attempt to repair). Stephen got away with not really eating anything substantial for two weeks after Tony’s funeral.

Apparently someone (probably Wong) noticed this and the trend came to an abrupt halt.

It started with the steward of the New York Sanctum. The steward’s role fulfilled the very real need of seeing to the general care and maintenance of the very magical and rather finicky building; it could only be fully overseen by a fully-trained disciple while its Master was dealing with the mystical threats in their part of the world. Stephen’s steward had been snapped into oblivion at the same time as he and was replaced with someone who spoke very little English. He remained at the post after the return of the Disappeared and generally avoided him, which was all well and good for Stephen. However, two weeks after the funeral, his steward was suddenly transferred to London (with no input asked from him either, the nerve) and the London steward came to New York.

His new steward was a woman: Italian, about sixty years old, five feet tall, and potentially the scariest woman he had ever met.

If anyone ever discovered his thoughts on the matter, they might wonder how that was possible when Stephen had been under the tutelage of the Ancient One. To him, she was the most powerful woman he had ever known, but he did not equivocate power with terror.

Ludovica Guerriero, on the other hand, was downright frightening. She seemed nice on first meeting; he learned she had come to be a part of the order a year after the Decimation, for all her children and grandchildren had been lost in that event (and with that story his guilt buried itself deeper into his soul). Unlike some of the new recruits who left for their families once they returned, Ludovica stayed on; she liked keeping busy and could ‘go visit the family whenever I want to, anyway’.

At first it was fine. Her first day there, she rearranged things her way while Stephen beat back some inter-dimensional boggarts and sealed a rip between dimensions in Guatemala. When he portaled back to the Sanctum, something that could only be called Italian was permeating the halls that led to the kitchen with a rich mix of smells. Unwittingly, his stomach growled.

He stepped towards the kitchen, then paused. He did not have time to sit down and eat if he wanted to finish his research before his body ultimately gave out on him. But as he started towards the stairs, Ludovica’s voice came to him with, “Doctor Strange? Is that you?”

Stephen sighed quietly and then called, “It’s me.” He took the few remaining steps towards the kitchen and halted at the doorway. “Smells good, Mrs Guerriero.”

“I’m glad you think so. I thought I’d do something special for my first night in New York for our dinner.”

Best to tell her immediately of his plans. “Actually, I—”

She continued on as if he hadn’t said a thing. “This was my nonna’s recipe. Parmigiana di melanzane with tomato, aubergine, the freshest mozzarella cheese; all ingredients picked up in my home town today.”

He blinked, momentarily sidetracked. “Sorry, uh, aubergine?”

Her brow furrowed. “Is that not the right word? It is melanzane, you know—” She cut herself off and pulled a stem with only part of the purple fruit remaining upon it. “This plant.”

“Oh! Oh, yeah, that’s an eggplant.”

“Eggplant? What a strange name.” She started dishing out the bake. “Would you mind setting the table, doctor?”

“I…” he started in protest, but the look she gave him was so sweet and imploring and kind. It reminded him of his grandmother from when he was young. He exhaled slowly; so much for his plans. “Sure.”

And that parmigiana di melanzane was really fucking delicious. It had no right to be that good.

About a week later, when he realized he had somehow been corralled to the dinner table every night since her arrival (and was a couple pounds heavier because of it), Stephen Strange realized that, underneath that sweet exterior, Ludovica Guerriero was an emotionally manipulative mastermind that knew exactly what to say to get him to do exactly what she wanted. This was absolutely terrifying.

Stephen was going to kill Wong.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Despite the terrible emotional manipulation being forced upon his person regarding (incredibly delicious) food, Stephen somehow maintained the status quo with his duties for five weeks after the funeral. He would work himself to utter exhaustion and only then find some rest (though even with this method the nightmares came on occasion, when he was just not exhausted enough, in his opinion).

(The part of his mind well-versed in psychology laughed incredulously at that line of thinking. He told that part of his mind to shut up and mind its own business, then threw himself in his work again.)

But eventually it all came crashing down. Of course it did; that was his life the last… however many years. Two or seven depending on how one counted.

The most embarrassing part was the situation that ended up being the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was stupid, completely irrelevant, and shouldn’t have even happened, but here he was.

It went like this:

Ludovica was out for the day with her family in Italy, Wong was over to discuss things, and they were both hungry. Neither of them felt like cooking, so.

“What do you want to eat?” Stephen asked as his glamour spell transformed his robes to something more normal for New York. “Pizza? Sandwiches? Thai? Something else?”

Wong thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t say no to a tuna melt.”

Stephen stilled his steps; that sounded familiar. Why did that sound familiar? It was just a sandwich—

‘I’ll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they’ll make you a metaphysical ham on rye.’

Stephen blinked and placed a hand against the wall to steady himself. He heard Wong say, “Stephen?” but it sounded muffled and distant.

‘A… buck and a half,’ Wong admitted.

He sighed. ‘What do you want?’

Wong clapped his hands together and followed him down the rest of the stairs. ‘I wouldn’t say no to a tuna melt.’

The crash of breaking glass and wood, emitting a sound loud enough to almost contest the car accident.

Bruce Banner. Tony Stark. Thanos is coming. Ebony Maw. We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives. Fourteen million, six hundred and five.

One.

“…en. Look at me, Stephen. You’re in the New York Sanctum Sanctorum. You’re safe. The cloak wants to reach out to you, Stephen, but I batted it away until you can look at me. You’re safe.”

Wong’s words managed to break through the cacophony of madness splitting his mind and he gasped as he focused his eyes on Wong. At some point he had ended up on the floor. His heart attempted to beat itself out of his chest.

When they made eye contact, Wong said without breaking it, “You can rest on him, but get back if his heart rate increases.” Then he continued, as the cloak gently settled itself on Stephen’s shoulders, “Copy my breathing, Stephen. Inhale… and exhale. Good, just like that. Again, inhale… and exhale. Again.”

His breathing evened out and his heart rate eventually slowed to something approaching normal, and Stephen was finally able to manage words. “Where— where did you— learn how to do— do that?”

Wong didn’t answer. Rather, he asked, “Can I help you off the floor?”

Still in a daze he nodded his acquiescence, and Wong took an elbow and forearm and hoisted him up with the assistance of the cloak. He led Stephen to one of the smaller, quieter parlours within the Sanctum and sat him down in a comfortable chair. “I’ll be right back.”

'Right back’ was certainly not immediate, but Stephen lost track of time and Wong seemed to return nearly instantly, this time with a couple fresh cups of tea. He did not attempt to give it to Stephen, but rather set it down beside him. Clearly he saw just how badly his hands were trembling.

Wong took a seat across from him and brought his own cup to his lips. He said nothing as Stephen further calmed his heart rate and the tremors in his hands became less prominent.

Several minutes of silence later, Stephen murmured, “Sorry.”

“I knew it would happen sooner or later,” was Wong’s answer. Stephen swallowed and said nothing. “You cannot continue going on like this.”

Stephen’s instinctive reaction was denial, but he could feel Wong’s eyes on him and his retort fell before it could even begin. “There’s too much to do,” he said instead.

“There always is,” was Wong’s reply.

The silence sat between them again when Wong did not expound further and Stephen battled against a myriad of emotions within his own mind. He tried to distract himself with tea, but the shaking in his hand was too prominent, too debilitating, so he withdrew it.

Another two minutes passed. “I have been given another chance in this world,” he tried instead. “All my efforts should go to protecting it.”

Wong eyed him expressionlessly. “Your efforts have gone above and beyond most. They have seen the resurrection of all life that was unjustly taken five years ago.”

“Those were not my efforts,” Stephen argued. “That was the Avengers.”

“And you set them on that path.”

The tremors increased. He swallowed heavily. “My efforts caused the entire universe to suffer for years. My efforts brought an intergalactic war to Earth’s soil. My efforts brought chaos and despair that led to so much death.” His voice broke on that last word and he turned his head away from Wong.

Wong permitted him a moment before speaking again. “I was told it was over fourteen million futures you saw.” A shudder ran through Stephen in reply. “At what point did you see this future?”

He swallowed. “Somewhere around four million.”

“And you searched another ten million after.”

His hands would not stop their violent shaking. He loosely gripped at the cloak and it curled around his hand. “I’m not— I’ve done triage before,” he started. “Battle of New York. We didn’t have the resources to— to save everyone. We had to pick our cases. Before the accident, it was one of the most difficult moments of my life.

“But this reality was— it was too much to ask. There were too many black tags. I knew there… there were hundreds of millions of permutations. Maybe billions. But I could not sustain the strength needed to search further. I was not… not strong enough.” And to his horror, he felt tears falling from his eyes. He could not look at Wong.

“Stephen. Stephen, look at me.” Reluctantly, after a brief moment, he turned his face towards him. Wong’s steadfast look was blurred by the unwanted tears. “You are the strongest man I have ever known. What you did no other human being could have accomplished.” Stephen’s gaze lowered. “And you must remember: you saw the paths of the future, but you did not control its course. Everyone had their own free will to make the choices they made; they knew death was a real possibility, but they chose to fight.”

Another shudder ran through his entire body and he felt the cloak increase its pressure against him ever so slightly. He placed his face in his trembling hands and just tried to get a grip.

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault, Stephen,” Wong muttered.

His tenuous grasp on his emotions completely broke. Another full body shudder ran through him before an ugly sob broke past his lips. Once it started, it was as if a dam had been broken; all his grief and guilt released itself then, the all-encompassing pain overwhelming his entire being. Even as he wept and mourned everything that had been lost, the cloak carefully curled about him and Wong remained a silent, steadfast presence at his side. His hand never left his shoulder.

And with the brick wall he had put about his heart finally breaking down, Stephen began to take his first steps towards recovery.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Oh, Doctor, you have mail.”

Stephen looked up from the tome to stare at Ludovica. “Mail? As in… from the mailbox?”

“Where else does mail come from?” she answered with a soft tut. He took the envelope from her and she left the study.

He frowned at the address. Upstate New York. What was in upstate New York? He carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter.

Oh. They finished rebuilding the Avengers compound. And… a celebration. A memorial, for Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, and all those who gave their lives over a year ago.

And he, Wong, and any sorcerer who wished to attend were invited to celebrate their lives.

Stephen’s eyes grew distant for a moment as his mind went back to that day. The ache was still there, but it did not consume him anymore. It had joined the other poignant, bittersweet reminders of days past, of those gone but still within living memory.

He softly exhaled before standing to head down the hall to Kamar-Taj. He was sure there were many who would be interested in attending, and to remember those gone so that they would not be forgotten.

——

A/N: Someone with the dedicated duty of basically babysitting Sanctums while their Masters fight off things was lovingly borrowed from keshwyn on AO3. Her series of one-shots around this figure are super super super gorgeous, go read them. Wonderful character development (I’ll write a proper fic rec soon)

(had to save it as jpg because for some reason it’s not letting me save as a png on photoshop atm? ugh)(and formatting should be fixed double ugh)

#doctor strange fanfic #stephen strange #doctor strange #wong #avengers: endgame #avengers fanfiction #my fanfiction #my writing #fanfic #ask #answered #long post #apparently the damn read more tag isnt working on the app #wtf tumblr #see reblog

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lalaurelia · 6 years ago

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Quick Gotham 5x10 thoughts

Finally watched it. No Gobblepot, again. Babs is amazing, Bruce is amazing, Oswald is reduced to hysterics just for the heck of it, and despite all the pizzas the episode is kind of meh. Oh, and Dr Strange is incredible as always and I love him.

Now let’s get into details a bit. Since I’m not in the usual morning hurry, I’m afraid it might get lengthy.

Eduardo’s becoming Bane through Hugo Strange’s experiments, and oh, BD Wong’s voice is too enjoyable XD The scene is a bit disturbing though.

Then we get to Jim and Harvey, and a military general that’s supposed to give the all-clear for the Gotham reunification with the mainland and all that. Jim’s pessimistic. It’s kind of cute seeing him all anxious-like. He gives another speech, urged by Harvey who congratulates him on having a kid. Yay. Another speech. Does anybody love Jim’s speeches? As much as I adore Jim as a character, he simply doesn’t have the charisma necessary to giving a good, rousing, motivational speech. Now Oswald, yeah, that’s a speaker. Jim... not so much. But we get some close-ups of him smiling and I’m thankful for that.

Then we get the submarine plot and Babs arriving in style. Oswald bickers with her about the luggage, her contractions start and yay, she drives away leaving Oswald and Ed attempting to escape Gotham without her. Then there’s a cute scene with Alfred and Selina which I’m not going to dissect, because what follows is a scene of Jim being a major DICK and it overshadowed most of the episode for me.

So, Lee contacts Jim by radio saying Barbara showed up and he should come. He says he’s on his way, asks them to wait (played for laughs, I guess), and then. And then he fucking adds “I love you” over the radio, when talking to Lee. Like. Jim. Radio is loud. Babs can hear you. We don’t know what she might be feeling for you at this moment because we were never shown that, but I’d imagine her to be at least somewhat hurt by that. And Jim. It would’ve cost you zero effort to hold those words back. It’s not like you’re going across enemy lines to make it to the hospital and that’s why those words could be your last and therefore important to voice. No. It was routine going to the hospital through a pacified area of Gotham. Not a hot zone. Nobody was dying. But Babs was in a lot of pain and stress and emotionally vulnerable and Jim couldn’t find it in himself to spare her just a little bit of pain.

Seriously, whenever Lee is in Jim’s life, Jim becomes a major and unlikable prick. So nope. Never gonna enjoy this pairing. And I refuse to consider this exchange canon, ffs, because I think Jim really is capable of kindness and he could at least be kinder to the mother of his child. Ugh. Gotham. Why must you torture me so and twist the characters into disfigured reflections of themselves?

And of course, Jim never makes it to the hospital because he promptly gets kidnapped. Bane gives us and Jim his backstory about Pena Dura, and ugh, it’s very gruesome, and I like Jim warily trying to give Eduardo what Jim thinks he wants - some compassion. Which Jim, I suppose, lacks severely this episode. Then Walker shows up, brings in Bruce, they torture Jim to make Bruce suffer, it all is perfectly villainy and I like this plot, it’s good. It reminds me of the major plots of the previous seasons. Now, if only we had more episodes to really explore that...

Oswald tries saying goodbye to Gotham, claiming his heart will always remain... duuuh! As long as Jim’s in Gotham, Oswald’s heart remains in Gotham, so there! But alright. It’s making Oswald look pathetic and dramatic and then Ed shows up to say there’s no leaving Gotham since Babs took some valve. Yay. We get Oswald dramatically screaming Barbara’s name. I see no reason for that, just that the writers seem to enjoy making Oswald do dramatic and over-the-top stuff with his emotions, because, yeah, he’s spectacular at that, and yet... it makes little sense. But alright. Let’s go on.

Babs and Lee are at the hospital, making awkward talk, alright. Walker sends Bane after Barbara, Jim tries to stay his hand by saying she’s pregnant, she has a kid, like... okay, Jim. Does it work this way in your mind? The baby has to live because it’s yours, but screw Barbara because you don’t want her? Like, yeah, maybe the baby argument would work with many people, but... Bane? A pretty much merciless mercenary at this point, probably brainwashed, too? Is that why you can’t plead with him to spare Barbara for Barbara’s sake? Ugh. I don’t know, it seems logical but this scene still irks me a lot. It’s like Babs is some sort of a walking incubator, disposable... I hate this thought.

Oswald and Ed show up at the hospital, we get a glimpse of admittance of the events of S4 with the relationship between Ed and Lee, a bit of comic exchange between all the participants - Oswald tries to threaten Babs with a gun, gets chastised by Lee, immediately feels sheepish for doing the threat and whatnot, and it’s actually kind of cute. Bane shows up, breaks it all up.

Poor Barbara. Having to deal with all of this during childbirth, and with the people you cannot rely on to protect you, either physically or emotionally. Lee wheels her away as Ed agrees to buy them some time, and Oswald is weirdly excluded from this exchange, ugh. I hate Oswald getting ignored. And oooh, we get more comic fits from him and hyperbolized reactions to blowing shit up as per Ed’s suggestion. Oh joy.

Then we get a scene with Strange trying to modify Jim the way he did Bane, but Jim, surely, manages to free himself. Hugo Strange is a delight in every scene, seriously, I love how dramatically, theatrically creepy he is. And - just because the thought strikes me so hard in this scene - Jim is really at his best when he has to act. When he has to do something, to free himself or someone, to help someone, when it’s his driving force, he is so much in his element, he becomes twice as alive as he usually is. And this makes me think he’s never going to feel completely comfortable in his settled married life, he’s a bit of an adrenaline junkie, he’s always going to chase that.

Babs and Lee make it out of the hospital, Lee asks Barbara why she’s so set on running away, and when Babs says she has doubts about Jim leaving her to raise the baby, Lee tries to persuade her it’s not so. And okay, I’m biased. Very. But... I don’t trust Lee when she says that? She might be feeling some compassion for Barbara because she’s going through pain, but I believe that the moment it passes Lee’s gonna be back to her pretty callous and unkind self, the one that nagged Jim at the precinct and slapped him for no reason. So no. I don’t trust her within a mile of Barbara and her child. Even if the scenes they have here are kind of cute.

I don’t even want to get into the scene of Ed having that valve all the time and Oswald calling him out on that. It’s good for that throwback to S4 and Ed and Lee’s relationship. But... I don’t like that the writers seem to have no idea what to do with Oswald in this episode and so they reduce one of the smartest, genuinely compassionate and resourceful characters to a comic relief. Which is unsettling and frustrating. The way he behaved with Barbara last episode, I’d have thought he’d be more inclined to help her, since he basically tends to adopt the less fortunate people around him, in some sense, especially if he connects to them, and boy, does Oswald have a connection with Barbara.

So. much. wasted. potential. guys.

Okay, time to wrap this up somehow... Bruce was really good, I loved his scenes. Alfred and Selina were very touching too. Jim is still at his best when he’s saving people.

And I’d go to enormous lengths if it meant we’d see a Gobblepot scene, ugh, please! I’m starving! Also it’s such a waste to not use a character such as Oswald more actively. He only reacts this episode. Do you even know who that man is, writers? He’s fucking King of Gotham. He’s always proactive. He always has a plan. And he lights up like a thousand watt light bulb in the presence of Jim Gordon. Now that’s worth watching anytime.

#gotham #gobblepot #jimwald #jim gordon #oswald cobblepot #barbara kean #batman #dc

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padfootagain · 6 years ago

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For the music event!!!

Submitted by @amysandiago :

I am so excited about the music event! As a Chinese, I often want to recommend songs to people from other countries, but they probably aren’t interested because they don’t know the language. These may not be the best songs ever, but they are songs that I like and are familiar with, and I will provide a little context so people aren’t just hearing jumble of sounds lol.

小日子 (Little days) by Joey Yung: Joey Yung has been one of the most famous singers in HK for years now, and she was the first celebrity that I actually cared about lol. (Forgive me, this playlist has many of her songs in it oops.) This song is about a couple living simply and peacefully, without needing to show off their love to others, or be rich or important etc. Imagine a royal!AU fanfic where someone abdicates to marry the person they love instead of following through with an arranged marriage, and they go off to run a little flower shop together. Very soft and very lovely.

搜神記 (something about looking for a god?) by Joey Yung: This song is actually quite feminist. It is about a woman realising that she has placed too much emphasis on her (male) lover, and that she has neglected the beauty of the world and herself in the process. In the end, she decides to walk away from all that and puts herself first. In the end, she finds the god in herself rather than in others.

損友 (Bad friend) by Joey Yung: Joey is actually famous for her sad love songs, so I have to include at least one lol. This is about how the singer is in love with a player (bad friend isn’t exactly apt, but I am sure google translate did its best. Maybe friend who is an unhealthy influence?). She chooses to be with him as a platonic friend instead, as a friendship is more secured than a short-term fling that can end at any moment.

黃色大門 (The Yellow Door) by Joey Yung and 紅屋頂 (The Red Roof) by Denise Ho: The Yellow Door is a song about the singer’s fantastical world, featuring angels, dinosaurs and gardens behind wardrobes, that she escapes to from the harsh real world. The best I can describe it is as a theme song for Pisces, and I love how whimsical it is. The Red Roof is along the same vein, about the singer holding up a red roof, a whimsical and imaginary world where people, especially outcasts are welcomed and loved. I put these songs together because some people have theorised that the songs are about closeted gay people in HK, and rumours of a romantic relationship between Joey and Denise added weight to the theory. Neither of them ever confirmed their relationship, and Joey had never made any statement regarding her sexuality AFAIK. But Denise came out as gay back in 2012, and she has been a LGBT activist since then.

勞斯．萊斯 (Rolls & Royce) by Denise Ho: This leads very nicely to another song by Denise. Two guys fall in love under the proximity of studying in the same school, but they do not end up together due to society pressure and homophobia. In the end, the singer says that there will be no change in the society unless people come out as who they are. I didn’t appreciate the beauty of that song until I realised that I am bi. And it is very brave for Denise to publish a song as explicitly gay as that one, seven+ years before she came out formally, as Asia is on the whole much more conservative.

人海中遇見你 (Meeting you among the crowd) by Johnny Yin: Another happy love song. It is mainly about how lucky the singer feels that he can encounter the love of his life among a mass of people, and how he cannot wait to share everything with them and hopes that it would always feel like home where they are. It is a popular song in weddings, as you can imagine. xD

突然好想你 (Suddenly Missing You) by Lala Hsu (originally sung by MayDay, not to be confused with MayDay Parade): Another fairly famous song. I personally like the cover better than the original. The sadness is more subtle in this one, laced with a bit of exhaustion if that makes sense. It is about how the singer is scared of suddenly hearing about her ex out of the blue after losing contact for a long time, knowing that it will bring back pain and hurtful memories. She also wonders about them, where they are now and how they are doing. I bet many people can relate to that.

我不願讓你一個人 (I won’t let you be lonely) by MayDay: Yay for lyrics! It is an angsty song about a man who still worries about his SO’s wellbeing after they have broken up. He prepares extra clothes for them when it’s cold and asks for their opinion out of reflex even though they have moved out. He doesn’t want them to be lonely and face the harsh world alone and wishes that they will find their happy ending one day.

給自己的情書 (A love letter to myself) by Faye Wong: I like to listen to this song when I feel down and need a soothing pick-me-up that isn’t power rock&roll lol. The song basically advises people to love and care for themselves, and their love will shelter them from the rain like a tree, even if they have no one but themselves to rely on.

缺口 (Gap/notch) by Harlem Yu: The English translation isn’t perfect, but here you go. Just a simple love song about who people who complement each other despite their differences. I also recommend the movie this song is from. It is called Café. Waiting. Love. It is a rom com and features a super hot lesbian barrista who regrettably, isn’t the main. :P

童话 (Fairy Tale) by Michael Wong: Eng subs! The singer wants to be an angel from a fairy tale, ad protect his lover and gives them a happy ending. I remember the international students singing this during mealtimes even though they didn’t know a nick of mandarin lol. But the lyrics are repetitive, so they got the hang of it. xD I will always remember the song fondly because of that.

下一站天后 (Next station Tin Hau) by Twins: Tin Hau is actually an underground station in HK, but it can also mean a famous female singer or celebrity. Even when the singers are about to become huge singers, it would mean nothing without the people love most there listening to them. And all the fame and adoring fans pale in comparison to the prospect of singing softly to their lover in their home. (I probably love domestic love songs way too much…)

小酒窝 (Dimples) by JJ Lin and Charlene Choi: Another love song with eng subs! Two people fall in love gradually, their favourite facial features of each other are their dimples and long lashes. Cute and soft. All fluff. :D

手紙～拝啓十五の君へ (Letters to my 15-year-old self) by Angela Aki: Another motivating song. It is not in my native language, but it is too beautiful not to be included. Even when your dream is hard to reach, and you want to give up, or you feel lost and tired and sad, it is important to just keep going. I also recommend this cover, and bonus: it has English lyrics lol which everyone should read because it is motivating and sincere and touching and I love this song.

浮生盡(????) instrumental cover by 鍾嘉鳳: GuZheng is a Chinese instrument that I personally feel is especially suitable for playing sad love songs like this one. The sounds are truly beautiful so I have to include at least one GuZheng piece!

Secrets track 22 by Jay Chou: A lovely piano piece from a Taiwanese (?) movie called Secrets.

My Tamako, My Sookee (soundtrack from Korean movie The Handmaiden): People probably know about this already but I love this piece of music so much I have to mention it lol.

Fate of Us (soundtrack from Japanese movie Tomorrow I Will Date With Yesterday’s You): Another instrumental track. It would sound more heart wrenching once you have watched the movie. Yes, you should definitely watch it but make sure to avoid spoilers cause there’s a big twist coming.

Smother and Youth, both by Daughter: People can probably find this so I am not going to link. Sometimes I just want to wallow in sadness and no amount of happy songs will get me out of that. This is when I turn to these songs, and basically the whole album lmao. There is something soothing about listening to songs that seem to understand what you are going through.

Sounds like Somewhere by Lily and Madeleine: Another happier song. This, combined with track 9, 14 and The Yellow Door from 4 are my stables for getting out of a sad mood haha.

I am sorry this is so long and I am so rambly. But I do get so excited when people are interested in Chinese music lol. Hope you enjoy. :)

Thank you so much for your rec-list! I’m so happy to discover some Chinese songs, all these singers have such beautiful voices!! Joey Yung’s songs are so gorgeous! Thank you as well for the comments on each song! Thank you for taking the time to do this!!

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mianmimi · 6 years ago

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Dude, you have the junior novel? Give us the good stuff! I actually love the novelizations because they're script-based, so you get to see what was an ad lib and what got cut. I get the feeling that most of the beautiful gay shit was purely Chiwetel and that Mordo in script is just a charmless str8 tough guy tbh lmao

This is going to take a while Nonny so buckle up and let’s go! I can’t outright screencap the novel cause of copyright so I’ll just write out brief summaries of things that were omitted from the film.

When Stephen is taking that fateful drive and making a phone call, the movie has him talking to Billy. In the novelization he’s talking with…..Claire. Now it’s not specifically stated that this is Claire Temple but like, come on. They both work at Metro-General, she’s a nurse, and nurses often float from one department to another. Also doesn’t that make you wonder if she and Christine met? :D *eyebrow wiggle*

We’ve all seen the deleted scene of Stephen and the wounded dog (that looks just like him, I see what you did there Scott Derrickson). But what didn’t make it to the screen was the scene before that. Stephen’s asking around for where KT is and Mordo notices him. Stephen comes across a kid begging for money. Stephen gives him the last bit of his money for directions to KT. Kiddo points to a direction. Stephen makes a snide remark. Kiddo speaks in English and tells Stephen that he’s the beggar not him, making Stephen smile. It’s a cute little scene but I understand why it was cut. Makes me wonder if he was part of KT and gets kicks giving different directions to people seeking it out, only giving the correct directions if the person parts with the last of their money. Just another headcanon. Who knows?

And now we get to Mordo’s great appearance. And he’s rather pissed D: Like he doesn’t come off as the calm, gentle Mordo we see on screen. He’s described as being uncomfortable talking with Stephen, and he looks annoyed with Stephen’s comments, even glaring at him. He’s more business minded here and doesn’t really give off that compassionate, soft spoken vibe when we first see him.

When Stephen gets a room he thinks the book on the table is…well, a book. But really it’s just a tablet in a case that looks like a book. KT’s keeping up with the times.

There’s a sweet little paragraph just describing a tree in the courtyard, and Stephen realizing it’s been forever since he noticed how beautiful flowers are. Idk, it was just really sweet and spoke to how Stephen’s now appreciating things he didn’t before.

Wong! Ah! Wong my man, Wong! He’s described as being a large man, a stern teacher who watches his students like a hawk as they train. Very drill sergeant like. Stephen’s one of his students, and Stephen’s trying to copy the other students trying to conjuring runes. He’s scared of Wong hahaha. Intimidated. Thinks that Wong’s powerfully built beneath those robes (Yes for you Worange otp-ers, that’s pretty much directly from the book….Stephen think’s Wong’s BUILT) Also, Stephen knows that Wong’s not someone you mess with. He too, glares at Strange.

Wong judges Stephen. Glaring, staring, eyes narrowing, his motions revealing that he’s annoyed with Stephen saying he’s already read through the books he was given. Pretty much says that Stephen isn’t funny.

This part hurt me nonnies….Mordo looked embarrassed when Stephen couldn’t conjure the portal with a sling ring while The Ancient One was assessing the students. He felt like a bad teacher for Stephen’s inability to make a portal ;___;

Super cute confirmation that the Everest Test is a favorite teaching method of The Ancient One. Mordo doesn’t like it. This part is more in line with the characterization we see on film. He was about to go save Stephen but TAO makes it clear that he won’t lift a finger. When Stephen finally returns he looks at TAO with a ton of anger and wanted to rant but he was too happy that he conjured a portal that he doesn’t.

GUYS. NONNIES. The classic training scene…..occurs with Mordo removing his shirt, leaving his entire torso exposed to Stephen. Our baby baron has a lot of scars on his skins though :( And Stephen noticed bullet wounds. Like the fuck right? And Stephen wonders what Mordo’s backstory is cause…that’s a lot of story written on his skin.

Oh god I wish I could screencap this cause man oh man….Stephen and Karl’s training is laced with a lot of flirting. It’s probably meant to be playful banter but like…I’m reading it with my shipper heart and I’m gonna say it’s flirting. Stephen asks questions about TAO and Mordo makes up these obviously silly answers like she was born from the tree thousands of years ago. Stephen actually believes him and Mordo LAUGHS and tell him he’s just kidding, only to tell Stephen another obvious lie that TAO was a hitchhiker who wandered in and never left. Once again, Stephen falls for it and once again Mordo’s…giddy XD And yes, he’s still shirtless while all this is going on. Mordo teases him, while smiling, saying “Look at you, Doctor I-Don’t-Believe-in-Fairytales- ready now to believe anything I say!” I haven’t done sources in forever but that’s the direct line from the book, not mine.

While teaching Stephen about relics and simultaneously beating him up, Mordo and him are joking and laughing and just having a very good time ^^ They speculate what TAO’s actual name is. Stephen believes she looks like an Elizabeth. Mordo beats him in the sparring session and ends it by saying that she looks like a Catherine. Of note, fanon’s headcanon that Karl loves romances seems to have made a weird retroactive cameo her. Elizabeth Bennet and Catherine Earnshaw are the heroines of Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights respectively, novels that people have headcanoned are among Karl’s favorites.

The novelization ends right after Stephen messes with the Eye and Kaecilius attacks the London Sanctum, so unfortunately we never get a description of Mordo and Stephen’s argument or Mordo leaving. The novel’s also structured oddly with a lot of flashbacks. One chapter has the time moving forward and the next one talks about what happened to lead Strange in the past. Weird but kinda fitting for the time theme.

I also have another novelization called…*deep breath* Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War: The Heroes’ Journey (Road to Infinity War). Yes my dear nonnies, that’s the entire title. Whew. It’s a long book and honestly I was only really interested in the DS section. I think they complied a bunch of other novelizations together into this big one. What I like about this book is that it’s told through the pov of side characters. Like Captain America’s section is told through Natasha’s pov. I did read this section and it made me really feel for her :( I think they kinda did her an injustice on screen. Nat’s got a very big heart y’all, and she loves Steve. Not in a romantic sense either. The vibe I get is more that of siblings/really great friends, and she wants his happiness so much.

But anyways, back to DS things…..Wong is the pov character for the DS section. He journals to unwind and de-stress, it’s his major coping skill so to speak. He rips out pages in his journal in a rage when he gets stuck or doesn’t feel like it’s good enough. Relatable as fuck. It’s heavily implied that he and Mordo were really good friends and gossiped about Stephen. So yeah, Wong knows a lot about Mordo and understands how dangerous he can be when hurt. I think Worange fans should check this novel out as it has Stephen constantly trying to make Wong smile and Wong being very -__- about it at first but slowly warming up to him :)

#ask and answer #thank you nonny #strordo #stephen strange/karl mordo #otp feels

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shade-without-color · 8 years ago

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Weekly Update: The lighter side of things

Note: So this week has been slightly ease,despite the fact I am working an evening shift on Saturday (with my period on UGH) that I have two days (one to cover my Good friday break on Tuesday ,and the other one on Friday). Lately my prompts have been more to kill time when I am not busy running around the shop like crazily for the past weekday (in contary not as I have quite a bit of late night customers which is annoying but got to deal with it),and I have been working on a challenge of drawing.

WORK KILLING: I pretty much start with a relatable post of Drago working too much on his ass (I feel you my son) with Revenge on late night customers and things going wrong in retail (I suppose Icarcus universe version of retail is trading which is weird but it works LOL). but I divert my anger and frustration with lighter prompts (Well in fact I enjoyed them more) with exploring of Talon (I have luke 2-3 talon prompts left) with 15 mins Talon prompts, the many drunk adventures of the happier guys like Lwyndia with them talking about the new drink to kill their livers, a birthday homage to Omar Sharif with Taken doing my version of This is my well scene from Lawrence of Arabia which I finished the blu-ray of Lawrence of Arabia which is like OH MY GOD, Malice which the Caramdos assholes terrioze their rival (Well they are way more bitchier than most girls hahahaha), and Auberon’s day going wrong with Maybe which I am pretty good at capturing the deadpool tone. So yes I miss Auberon,and his nonsense I should do more of him to beat stress.

You always write them Cat,like for God’s sake please stop (WELL NEVER): So I started a new bunch of prompts of the affectionate stuff with my loves with Savored which I am the same GIF as Cecily hahahaha (and it did not help I found a handsome picture of Mark Gatiss to spur the fangirling *COUGHS*.),Cecily writing a letter to Drago with Terribly,madly and passionately which I know it is like super mushy BUT I CANNOT. and plus exploring Cecily’s insecurities is pretty fun for me. And oh I have watched the Great Beauty which I loved the coda which prompted me to do a rewrite of Cecily’s encounter with more smut XD. I particularly like that element which i adapted from the film itself

He could recall strange details about that dinner. In fact how Cecily’s fingers wrapped around the fork,poking the meat in boredom on her mother lecturing her to tone her vices like gambling (If he could recount it vividly she owned her mother 2,000 guineas which she must fin a job,to only be told later that a kind stranger helped to settle her debt),how the old maps of Arcona seem to fade in the cold light like that disapproving servant,who yearns to go beyond the horizon. How one man with a barely powdered nose talked curtly about the Stands being a terrible and dull country. It must be Cecily’s stepfather. He seems rather exhausted from integrating many men in her life. Another a portrait of top that resembled the dimples of Cecily,he seems rather cheerful-looking fondly at the family below. She speaks little about the subject beneath the portrait. Who knows. As he grinned bemusedly on their long conversations of lines and poets which gods know where the hell they come from. Maybe he could recognize Castor because he was a drinking buddy of Auberon. Regardless it was dull and perishable.

Tackle the ones I do not do: Sooo I tackle Verity again,as being inspired by Jep’s intro in the Great Beauty with La Mort, my fox on the Run story called Suffragette City inspired by my watching of Doctor Who of Smile and The Pliot (I think it is getting better which I loved the dynamic) and my Followed Sisters with Fear on a more Japanese Kwaidan tone.

Editing the beast: So you have heard me back and forth about Icarcus editing which is pretty much a struggle due to my work schedule and my moods lately which i did up Spare (maybe perhaps to me watching Lawrence of Arabia as it reminded me of Lawrence killing Gasim) to be honest I realized that I cannot force myself out and it happened that I met a committee member of my local writers’ festivals which I shared my struggles of it. It gave me that thought that I think backwards like Wong Kar Wai (I mentioned him a few times that he is one of the influences for Red Thread notably in the mood of love) which he just imrpovise as he goes which I am to be honest which is more organic,and I am slowly finding ways to fall in love with my characters. In fact I have so many impromptu scenes and ideas,that I find a notebook easier to handle than just typing. So i looked at my draft and i make up as i go linking scenes and forth. To be honest I loved the way how I make Drago and Caelestra’s relationship as him being the mentor figure,and I made Valentia being more worldly and involved in material possessions. I am just so absorbed in that world,it took a while to kick back again.

Drawing challenges: So distract my lack of writing,I am getting to draw again which I handled the first three as linked,so I am working on Drago vs Cecily which I am doing a lot of development here.

#writing #writers on tumblr #spilled ink #weekly update #Drago x Cecily #icarcus universe #cat edits novels 2k17 #auberon #Dmitriy Wolf of Gold #tyblat #Fox on the run #Hikaru the Fox #monore #hikaru x monore #followed #count verity #creative writing #empiresofwater #myart

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