#Why are people against TOS being retconed

[xenabutdryad]

Ok, now that I've seen it, I have thoughts. The whole concept of pon-farr seems rapey. From VOY we know that the pon-farrer would initiate pon-farr with his chosen mate so the mate would also get horny. Vorik did this to B'elanna and she was not consenting so she either had to have sex, defeat Vorik or die? Fortunately, she managed to refuse sex with Tom and beat up Vorik enough for the pon-farr to end. In TOS we see that the pon-farrer's object of desire may choose a champion to fight for her and then SHE WOULD BELONG TO THE VICTOR. From today's perspective that's sexist af, but I think, maybe, at the time of airing, T'Pring refusing to have sex with her husband might have been progressive? I mean, she didn't do her "wife's duty".

The whole pon-farr thing is still creepy if you ask me. It has some cool aspects to it, but I thing in the future Star Trek writers should stive to make the whole thing more consensual. And yes, Spock's fever ended, because he loved Jim, as we all know. I hope they retcon all the bad nonsense in TOS eventually, like how "straight" Jim and Kirk are when all they do is flirt, and how women can't be captains or how Chapel makes soup for Spock as if it's some feminine urge.

I'm going to see AMOK TIME tomorrow for the first time!!! I can almost believe in luck 😊

[letteredlettered]

I have such weird feelings about the season finale of Strange New Worlds. On the one hand, I feel like it was clever and interesting and really celebrated the fact that Pike preferred peace and diplomacy. On the other hand, because Pike's peace and diplomacy failed, the ultimate message is that sometimes wiping out your enemy brings about the best future? Which is not a message I love taking home, especially from Star Trek.

But I gotta say what really bothered me is the way it pitted Pike and Kirk against each other--Pike as the quasi-pacifist (I say quasi- because he’s never claimed to be a pacifist and will totally fight if he has to; I’m trying to say that he wants peace; I’m not being sarcastic) and Kirk as the one who thinks the ends justify the means. Kirk does pursue the Romulan ship in the TOS episode, Balance of Terror, unlike Pike in the SNW episode, Quality of Mercy--I get that, but I'm just not sure that this is a meaningful parallel to draw.

For one thing, the speech that Pike gives to his crew in this episode about seeking peace is very similar to Kirk's speech in Corbomite Maneuver. Kirk might not be a pacifist, but he cares deeply about peace and avoiding war and believing that we can work together to understand each other and find peaceful solutions--at least, TOS often tries to convey that Kirk cares about those things.

Which brings me to my main issue. TOS was made in the 60s during a Cold War, and it is special for the way it attempts to address war: it shows that war is complicated, that sometimes hard choices need to be made--which is part of what Balance of Terror is about--but I would argue that more often than not, it shows that war is a bad choice to make. Both the Klingon episodes are about narrowly avoiding a war that neither side necessarily want. Many other episodes are about diffusing situations--often Kirk diffusing situations--that are needlessly violent or bellicose.

Part of SNW seems to be saying aren’t we better now? Because it highlights and features a character who cannot and will not choose war--but imo, it feels a bit like trying to take a moral high ground above TOS. But, okay. I prefer Pike’s approach, so fine, if you want to take a moral stance against TOS, in this case, I agree that SNW is showing us a better way to live in this world. But if you’re going to do that, at the expense of TOS, why would you then show that the just and merciful thing to do will fail and ruin the universe?

Look, I get sometimes justice and mercy fail in the real world. I get that sometimes you have to do something a little not-great for the great good. But I am so fucking tired of this message, this being the hero Gotham needs and not the one she deserves, this Jack Bauer on 24 it’s okay I torture people because I save many more people. I don’t care if sometimes it’s even fucking true; it’s just the only message anywhere in media these days; the message never seems to be if you’re actually trying to do the right thing you can, sometimes, be successful in getting people to come to the table and agree on something that can work. And we have to believe that is possible sometimes. We have to.

But this SNW episode doesn’t seem super interested in that message, despite how deeply it seems to want us to love and laud Chris Pike. Why? What was the point?

ETA: Also minor quibble but The Menagerie Part 1 very clearly states that Captain Pike is no longer captain of the Enterprise in 2266 because he was promoted; his accident happens after that. They could have at the very least say that Pike changing his own future also meant he turned down the promotion for some reason; why retcon this way when it’s just not necessary to tell the story you’re trying to tell?

[anselm0]

Novelization of Star Trek: The Motion Picture

I knew this was going to be Something, and it sure is.

I’m not the first to remark on it, but that sure is a gay pride flag on the cover of this book/movie. A quick google reveals that the pride flag debuted in 1978, while TMP was released 1979, which by no means proves intent, but those are facts of general interest I’m going to share here.

Two things: 

LOVE INSTRUCTOR???? Her FIRST, no less??? what

Why am I being subjected to Roddenberry’s writing exercise of reviewing his own tv show while in character of one of the characters on said show

One actual thing that we learn from Kirk’s preface is that there are apparently two varieties of humans, the original flavor and then the super cool Crystal Pepsi humans who are wicked smart and pretty insufferable about it. Also not in Crystal Pepsi humans’ favor is that they SUCK at space travel because they can’t “help but be seduced eventually by the higher philosophies, aspirations, and consciousness levels” they encounter in aliens and doing a bunch of disappearances, defections, and mutinies as a result. So the moral of the story is we need humans too stupid or stubborn to want to be better to drive the space planes, I guess. 

I also find this amusing. The editor’s note on this line from “Kirk” is that he’s being modest, because he did a great five year deep space mission. ~~Kirk begs to differ, though: 

I also liked TOS, imaginary editor, but 94 deaths in five years of peaceful exploration is not an amazing statistic. Anyway, Kirk’s annoyed at how he and his five year mission got portrayed by the guy they sent to record it, what does that asshole have to say for himself?

what. is. happening. 

Look. I am all for world-building. But this is ridiculous. What kind of false modesty self-dragging self-insert Bolshevism

We are, by the way, only 11 pages in, and the story hasn’t even started officially. This will be the longest long post.

Chapter One opens with Kirk getting a semi-telepathic message from Starfleet that is the opening scene of TMP in which the space cloud zaps some Klingon ships.

Yeah, I can see where the public concern over this policy would come from, imaginary editor. It is bananas, and I hope consigned to a quiet ‘canon? never heard of her’ retcon. Imagine if this were still the case when the Borg came. Who could have guessed that having technological access to the brains of all the top brass in the Federation’s first and only major defense force might be, like, a bad idea!!!!!

It’s also a POINTLESS idea, because after getting the message, Kirk goes to a signal station to call Starfleet because he can’t reply (a design flaw) and also he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do with this information because he didn’t get any instructions (why send classified info to people who don’t need to act on it???), and they just show the same scene to him again when he’s there. 

Before that happens, however, Kirk gets put on hold long enough to think thoughts and feel feelings he “had not permitted himself to admit” to himself. Like all former greats, he hates his desk job. He took it for reasons, despite this amazingly persuasive case against doing so:

We get it, you’re a Real Man. 

Literally the entire medical profession apparently agreed with McCoy that a desk job would be bad for Kirk, but Starfleet wanted him to be their posterchild of awesomeness for all those frickin’ Crystal Pepsi humans wondering if Starfleet is even necessary (why they would care about low intellectual ability Kirk is a mystery left unaddressed), so they made sure Kirk was persuaded to accept against medical advice. 

The way they did this was a combination of his sense of duty and a sexy lady. Of course. Sexy lady (Vice Admiral Lori Ciani, spelled Ciana in all subsequent mentions) is in fact the one Kirk gets connected to once Starfleet takes him off hold. Lori always gets his blood pumping, what with her “unusually large eyes and the slim, youthful angularity in her arms and legs” that “always reminded [Kirk] of a fawn’s wild grace and innocence”, even though he knows she’s actually a freak in the sheets. Oh, and she’s also smart and a great officer or whatever, her lips caress his name whenever she says it, he can almost smell “her body fragrance” and Kirk’s getting hard.

I wish I was exaggerating.

There are a number of concerning things here that I think McCoy should turn his attention to instead of whether Kirk can survive at a desk job. Are relationships one year contracts in the future? That seems like a bad idea.

Kirk has a paranoid fantasy that Admiral Nogura manipulated Lori Ciana into contracting sex/mothering/friendship with him and is pretty sure that Nogura told her to talk to him now to make sure he does what Starfleet wants again. 

I’m tired already.

It is not clear to me if she acts like he expects her to if his paranoid fantasy was real. In any case, the conspiracy theory and THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER was all for nothing because Kirk just goes to Nogura’s office and convinces him to give him command of the Enterprise.

On a more pleasant note, there was a chapter in the middle of all Kirk’s nonsense of Spock’s POV. He’s at Gol trying to achieve Kolinahr and he gets distracted by what seems to be the space cloud momentarily linking his and Kirk’s minds. Spock is shook and “knew in this instant that the human half of him was far from extinguished. That half had simply been capable of human guile and had learned to hide itself even from his own notice. He had foolishly and carelessly underestimated it and believed it to be gone. But like the enemy it had always been, his human half had merely lain in wait in order to assault him while he was defenseless.” 

MY POOR BB

Anyway, Kirk’s on his way to the Enterprise and once again thinking thoughts.

I’m going to guess that Kirk is not a great boyfriend.

There are several things going on here, none of them good or pleasing. 

There are some really uncomfortable descriptors for Sulu and Uhura, which are unnecessary in addition to being offensive because we all know what they look like. We know Sulu is Asian, so you don’t have to call him “the Asian romantic,” or really modify any descriptor of him to remind us that he’s Asian. Uhura initially has “classically lovely features,” which is okay, I guess, but then she has a “fine-boned Bantu face.” Um. 

There are some weird descriptors of Will Decker, too, who Kirk is coming to demote and summarily replace, but the worst one is this one, Scotty’s perspective on Kirk pulling Decker aside to tell him he’s being demoted:

My face is a rictus of horror. 

The description of the transporter accident is quite gruesome and Good. We all know the fate of the unfortunate Commander Sonak, but Roddenberry now reveals that the second person was sexy lady trap Lori Ciana!! Kirk inexplicably took over the transporter controls to try to save them her, but isn’t familiar with their new configuration, and is guilt-stricken by the uncertainty that their deaths might have been prevented by someone like Decker, who really knows the new Enterprise. Also, nobody knows why she was there.

FUCK YOU

I’ve been very negative so far. The novelization actually does a lot better than the movie does in conveying Kirk’s disorientation with the new ship and how much he’s second-guessing his fitness for command, despite his insistence before that he was the only one who could do this. On the other hand, he doesn’t realize that he should PUT DECKER BACK IN COMMAND. 

Oh, he makes Decker the science officer in addition to the executive officer because he won’t accept a different science officer in replacement of Sonak who isn’t Vulcan. Apparently there’s no replacement for a Vulcan science officer.     .   .   .        He immediately begins worrying that he’s overloading Decker with responsibilities. JUST MAKE BETTER CHOICES INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT BAD ONES.

Hey, you know that dumb scene in TMP where all the crew gets together in an empty room to once again watch the Klingon ships get destroyed and since it’s a rehash, everybody spends it wondering why Starfleet has like eighteen different uniform designs in unflattering cuts and colors? Roddenberry knows we all think it’s dumb and has some strong words in response:

lol

Apparently that room is the “rec deck,” which is the largest interior space in a starship ever designed. Some people think it’s wasteful but real space veterans know that the rec deck is where “the most vital of the ship’s mechanisms [are] kept in peak operating efficiency through music, song, games, debate, exercise, competition, friendship, romance, [and] sex.” There were definitely regular public orgies on the five year mission, weren’t there. 

Thirty-one people bail after seeing the Klingon ships bite it, which seems like a thing that they shouldn’t be able to do?? Also, what was the point of all that secrecy with the secret implant for telepathic transmission of classified information if Kirk’s just going to show it to several hundred people who are free to leave if they want to?????

I know TMP gets shit for being The Motionless Picture, but you really have to read the novelization to grasp the complete lack of plot points. It’s EIGHTY pages before Lieutenant Ilia arrives. The book is 250 pages long. 

Uhura has some kind of Tone when she tells the bridge that Ilia is Deltan and Kirk rebukes her, “And there are no finer navigators in Starfleet, Commander.” 

This is a weird species whose major defining features are overwhelming sexual pheromones and a GREAT sense of direction.

Kirk immediately regrets chastising Uhura since she’s “the last one who needed instruction in diversity from him.” IS THE FUTURE RACIST OR NOT, GENE

Sulu seems not to know what a Deltan is, even though all the other TOS officers do, so I don’t know how that happened. I got my hopes up for ONE SECOND when he didn’t seem to care but he is affected by her allure after all. Stand down, gays. 

Kirk clocks the obvious clues that Ilia and Decker were involved before, and starts finding ways to make it his business. 

Sure, Jan.

Anyway, the ship leaves the orbital dock in a looooong and boring chapter, then spends another chapter flying past Jupiter at IMPULSE. Thank Jupiter and Zeus we did not have to sit through the slow ride from hell through the solar system. 

Some random things we learn in the meantime (a lot of meantime!!):

McCoy is a hippie who dislikes surgery and medicine, preferring to just berate people into healing themselves or whatever. I now see why starships would need ship’s counselors but there would be absolutely no Xanax or beta-blockers for the Reg Barclays of the future.

There are body scanners incorporated into all the new uniforms, which constantly transmit biodata to the medical bay. This was always a part of the costume design (it’s in those super ugly belt buckles!) but never mentioned or actually used to my recollection in TMP. It’s also not a thing in future Trek series, presumably because it would be boring to not have medical emergencies.

Chapel went on the five-year mission with a PhD and now has her MD! GIVE HER SOMETHING TO DO

McCoy resigned from Starfleet because Admiral Nogura would not heed his medical opinion that Kirk is a Manly Man who needs to be doing Manly Things out in space instead of working a desk job. 

Immediately after this reveal, Roddenberry reinforces how scientific it is by having Chapel say, “deprivation of [starship command] produced physical and emotional symptoms remarkably like those associated with narcotic withdrawal.” Okay!!

We only refer to Ilia as “the Deltan navigator” now.

“The so-called mutant-farm civilizations of pre-history had known [humans aren’t alone in the universe] of course, but their information had been a gift and not the result of human labor and growth.” W H A T 

What do these words mean

FEELS racist??? idk idk

also this:

What a piece of information to just casually drop with no followup whatsoever!

Roddenberry is basically masturbating himself and Kirk about how great it is that he’s back. Having Kirk command the Enterprise again is

“like Lazarus stepping out into the sunlight” plz

so spiritually moving that Decker is suddenly feeling fine about being inexplicably demoted (couldn’t Kirk have just been an admiral still? and Decker a captain?) and removed from command

By the way, Kirk apparently didn’t officially take command until moments before they left orbital dock, which feels wrong to me?? There were eleven hours where he was giving all the orders but had no official jurisdiction or responsibility for the consequences. Starfleet needs better command protocol.

making Sulu, Uhura, and Chekov ecstatically happy, a fact that Kirk somehow knows from looking at their faces despite not seeing any of them in years and having done nothing but demand the ship be launched before being properly tested or configured for warp and against the advice of his first officer and chief engineer omg you idiot

Kirk then orders them to go to warp agains the advice of his first officer and chief engineer, accidentally creating a wormhole the ship falls into along with an asteroid that nearly destroys them because Kirk doesn’t know how the phasers work on his new ship. Kirk then gets shirty with Decker when Decker factually states that Kirk doesn’t know what he’s doing and Decker does, and knowing things was useful in that it saved the ship being blown up by a series of stupid choices. GREAT FIRST DAY

Again, I do think the book is doing a good job of conveying Kirk’s motivation of scrambling to relive his glory days and his willful blindness to the consequences, but I don’t know how we’re going to get to a point where we’re actually happy this guy gets to be in command of a starship for another five movies. McCoy does call him out on his nonsense, but I don’t see him learning or growing at all yet and can’t foresee it from what I know of what plot is coming next.

Speaking of plot developments

SPOCK!!!

First of all, “severe black robe” is underselling one of the best looks ever served to my undeserving eyes. Second, no sooner has Spock stepped back on the bridge than everyone starts dropping serious hints about his relationship with Kirk. I mean

subtle!!

Spock is not a happy bunny, though. Everyone is happy to see him again - it’s been so long and Scotty’s so excited he apparently forgets that you don’t touch Vulcans? - but Spock’s ignoring them. As soon as he can, he finds a place to meditate.

Roddenberry wants to make absolutely sure we know that the Enterprise is a nonstop fuckfest. Consider me informed!

Spock needs to meditate because he was way too excited to see Kirk again. He’s pretty whatever about everyone else (”humanly human” McCoy and Chapel “with her bizarre and impossible fantasies of one day pleasuring him” ick) but his t’hy’la is a different story.  I MEAN!!!!

He has to go to a meeting with Kirk and McCoy (who’s now monitoring Kirk’s behavior re: his unfitness for command) and we get this little gem about the officer’s lounge:

I know it’s supposed to be a utopia but come on. 

WINK

They’ve established there’s some kind of intelligence in the space cloud that Spock can telepathically link with when the first probe arrives and injures Chekov. Chapel comes to treat him but she can’t do anything for him. Ilia does...something vaguely telepathic that usually happens during Deltan sex to make him feel pleasure instead of pain and you know what, I’m going to choose to not read into this. It does seem weird that Starfleet has extremely strict regulations about allowing Deltans to serve due to their pheromones but telepathy is A-okay. 

We learn during the probe’s visit that the only console hooked into the ship’s main computer and Starfleet databases is the science station’s, which seems pretty unbelievable. There isn’t even an uplink for centralized record keeping about course changes and phaser discharges? 

Ilia disappears and Kirk is surprised how much he cares. They did meet just today but SHE IS YOUR CRACK NAVIGATOR why wouldn’t you be upset! Her replacement comes up as they’re getting pulled into the space cloud and she’s also good; Kirk thinks, “There might be something about her worth remembering.” I’m concerned that Roddenberry doesn’t seem to realize how unlikeable he’s making Kirk. 

See the entire sequence where the Ilia probe arrives:

Gross.

Kirk does spend a lot of time thinking that Deltan pheromones don’t affect Vulcans and that Spock is annoyingly unmoved, but that’s just guys being dudes. 

Probe Ilia remembers Decker, so Kirk tells him to use that to try to establish productive communication with Vger. I know it’s spelled Vejur but that’s dumb. It’s Vger. V’ger if you’re nasty. Anyway, Kirk was making this traumatic assignment about him and his awesome sexual prowess. 

But he’s not done!! How could this sequence possibly end WITHOUT Kirk creeping on his first officer trying to fuck an alien probe!!!!

It’s completely normal! Look, Decker even expects it!

Decker is Manfully frustrated that his Manliness isn’t working on the probe. Kirk and McCoy are armchair quarterbacking this like the fans of weird sexual encounters they are. Chapel comes in to make a good suggestion and McCoy condescends to her, of course. There’s some worldbuilding around Deltan sexuality which seems to be just that there are psychic connections involved that make regular, non-psychic sex boring for humans afterward. Okay? I thought it was going to be something much weirder. Again, I don’t know why THIS makes Deltans have to take celibacy oaths to be in Starfleet but non-sexual telepathic actions are totally fine. 

This is all going on while the Enterprise is in the cloud, so they take a break from creeping on Decker and the Ilia probe to go to the bridge and have Kirk condescend to Uhura about how to do her job. Look, I don’t want to get into a whole thing about Kirk’s virtues as a commander but he is not better at Uhura’s job than she is. PLEASE give her something to do other than be impressed with Kirk.

Around page 209 (out of 250) we finally get a chapter from V’ger’s POV and it is legitimately Good. If Gene Roddenberry was capable of writing science fiction without obsessing over future sexuality, this book would be so much better. 

There are fewer than 40 pages left by the time we get to the iconic sickbay scene. 

This book is so weirdly paced. If you’re going to write about future sex, please let it be between the characters we actually care about!! For example!!!!!! But no, we get Decker and Ilia-probe, which may actually be Ilia’s psyche in a mechanical casing? Unclear, but Decker is pretty convinced.

Gross.

The rest of it is basically exactly the same as the movie: they get to V’ger and figure out it’s Voyager and respond with the correct code, but V’ger refuses to acknowledge it. Decker and Ilia somehow become noncorporeal entities joined with V’ger. It’s not clear how this is possible, but whatever. Kirk is, like, mildly regretful about the absolute shitshow this mission turned into and the fact that he lost two good officers to a space cloud, but he’s not torn up about it. He got his ship back! And he has no fear that it will be taken away again because he caused half the shitshow! In true Star Trek fashion, there is literally ZERO discussion of where V’ger, who is a perambulating cloud as wide across as a small solar system, is going to go now instead of Earth bc that’s a somebody else problem.

The end.