#Where can i get a corndog

[properbastard]

[ sharpe's background of being a pickpocket, a burglar, and a thief should definitely have been used more for comedy and less for tragedy in the sharpe series because can you imagine

you're an officer in the mess hall. you watch a 6'1" 95th Rifles officer walk in, pickpocket a colonel, hide an entire bottle of wine in his jacket, and stuff a handful of silverware into his shako. He has made eye contact with you the entire time. He throws up a two-finger salute in your direction on his way out. You go to say something, but one of the "exploring officers" stops you and starts rambling about this man's skills. He does this at least twice a week. He's the most efficient soldier in Wellington's army. He calls you a bastard to your face and steals your watch.

[cup-o-stars]

Relativity Falls Lore Concept- The Oracle and Bill

The Oracle:

I was initially inspired by the Twitter user @SUwu159's depiction of the Oracle in their take on Relativity Falls, and made my own adaptation as I learned about her in canon.

(Assume she can change colors because I couldn't pick what I liked most)

This version of The Oracle isn't malicious per se, and does not desire the same conquest or chaos sought out by Bill. But she likes universes to be organized and quaint (or answers to another high power that demands it), and finds fulfillment in achieving these goals through any means necessary.

The Oracle and Dipper:

(Sorry if this dialogue tastes like a corndog in your mouth. I just needed to write a semi-resolution to Dipper's side of the relationship, ha.)

Getting into the real struggle with the Pines family. Dipper and Mabel don't fight and hold grudges like the Stans (that we've seen of), so my opinion is that they drifted apart in their late teens and twenties, both feeling pressured to be less attached at the hip. My current belief (though I'm very willing to rewrite this section) is that Mabel and Dipper both poured a lot of energy into pretty niche fields, and being very busy meant very short and rare windows to reach out. Both assumed the other was doing bigger and better things and felt self conscious / childish for wanting eachother's company.

I'm still considering Mabel's backstory, since I think she probably hit lower points than Dipper. You know. Starving artist, lol. But Dipper entered into paranormal investigation, pest control, etc. before his ghost + monster catching went far enough for his name to gain some notoriety. Hell, maybe Pacifica's family reached out to him to take care of "rats" that were actually ghosts, cementing his interest in Gravity Falls and giving him a window inter supernatural work.

Dipper was taken on as something of an apprentice to the Oracle 30ish years before canon as word of his good and dangerous deeds spread. However, what was at first a personal dream come true (saving lives with nerd magic) soon became a personal hell as the Oracle began to overwhelm Dipper with knowledge of various futures and universes where everything he cared about could be destroyed. He's always been over prepared and incredibly paranoid, and became obsessed with protecting the world by acting as a partner to the Oracle.

He ends up doing- or not doing- a lot of morally ambiguous things and gaining a lot of enemies. He is too ashamed to face his family- especially Mabel- with what he's done and burden them, giving the Oracle more to use against him to keep him working for her. Basically "you've already done all this and risked it all, there's nowhere to go if you stop now." Eventually this ends in her seeing him fit for her work and convincing him to hide out in and save other universes, which he gets trapped doing for the next three decades.

Little throw away idea: Pacifica could have been an investor or partner, but left as they uncovered secrets about the Northwest family. Maybe she wanted to undo something (debating making any of the Oracle's powers time related just because I hate time travel) or stop a current show of corruption, but Dipper had to stop her for the "greater good."

In the main universe, Mabel goes to Gravity Falls upon news of her brother's disappearance, searching for any loose end to trace back to him.

I love that in canon, Dipper is willing to do anything for Mabel, and Mabel gives it back. Dipper here spends all of his life keeping as many versions of her as safe as he can, and she spends all her life trying go seek him out- maybe even dropping a larger opportunity outside of Gravity Falls for her art and settling on business at the shack. Dipper wants Mabel alive, Mabel wants them both happy. I like the idea that it's Dipper and Mable vs. The Future but the future is a demon, alien thing.

Which leads me to...

Bill Cipher:

I'm actually gonna cover a couple versions of Bill I think are fitting for this AU, because I initially wasn't sure if I wanted him here at all.

Child Bill:

Pretty straight forward. Bill as a baby, child thing is tempting and this is the au where he'd exist. Personally though, I think Ford's friendship with Fidds would be more enriching to his growth, and Bill's personality is so close to Stan's they would likely be competing to fill very similiar roles. (If Bill behaves differenty as kid, I don't know about it.) Honestly, Bill is super similiar to Ford and Stan, and works better as a kind of foil or antagonist because of that (imo). I do find the mental image of Ford carrying Bill around funny. I do not enjoy human bill like, conceptually, so I'm probably never gonna design one as an adult or child, lol.

It would be cool to see a world where Bill didn't accidentally kill his parents though.

Bill - Reincarnated Original

Technically I guess they could all be reincarneted (especially baby Bill), but this version of Bill experienced and holds memories of the original canon events in GF. Beings like Bill and the Oracle can remember recent/soon approaching lives, and catch glimpses of more distant cycles as well.

What I like about Bill's recent role as an antagonist to Ford and Stan is that he constantly describes them in the terms of their worst traits, and sees them through the lens of the roles the world placed on them. In this AU, Bill is the epitome of the past (in this case a past life) coming back to bite the twins. He rattles their progress in communication as well as their sense of inner peace by bringing old Glass Shard Beach issues into Gravity Falls.

(Depicted here-> moments after Ford summons Bill using the same ritual as Gideon.)

The drawback to this is that it feels a lot like covering old ground.

Simply Bill:

This is pretty much just regular old Bill with the same fresh perspective as everyone else, and also the one I'm going with. He tried and failed to get Dipper's trust in the past and had to lay low at the arrival of the Oracle. Once they left, Bill targeted Mabel. I think it could be very interesting for Mabel and Bill to either have a fresh relationship wherein Bill is actively taking advantage of her desperation to find Dipper, or for Bill to be an old betrayal (not romantic, but not dissimilar to the opportunistic exes Stan and Ford have to be wary of and beat back under the rug regardless).

Either he shows himself to Mable early on, or decides that Gravity Falls is both Oracle-free and worth the time after either Ford or Mable summon him. Afterall, 30 years isn't much to him.

Maybe he exists in the background like he's always done, or the kids (being snoopy and disrespectful of Mabel's secrets) discover what Mabel's doing and run into him on their own.

Whether Bill is aware of the original series or not, I think he could be neat to stick in between Stan and Ford again for conflict. My favorite aspect about Relativity Falls is the prospects of the Stans having a larger support system and better tools to help themselves with. Beating Bill faster and better would be the ultimate testament to Mabel and Dipper's skills as functioning role models, even if Mabel is currently blinded by her focus on Dipper.

Stan and Ford will fight and they will make up, but this time maybe they can overcome it on their own.

I also think a good idea is having Ford and Stan's issues be completely Bill free (outside of like an episode or two's worth of relevance, unless he put them into a particularly stinging situation). It would feel fresher and also streamline the plot, lol.

Overview:

- Dipper is stuck travelling the multiverse with the Oracle and keeps himself sane by thinking of Mabel and protecting various versions of her.

- Mabel is investigating his disappearance in Gravity Falls and is working on a portal/portal equivalent with Bill to bring him back.

- The kids may or may not be aware of this.

Looking at the main series of events, I think it'd be neat go back to the apprenticeship conflict, where Ford could be approached by the Oracle (or something else that makes sense) with the promise of being a "hero," but knows better now because of Dipper and his experiences with Bill. It's kind of a more convoluted version of Ford's proposal to Dipper in canon, and they basically learn the same thing, lol. You can hang out with ghosts if you want, but demons are gonna get you. Maybe being a child with siblings is all you need.

(Stan could also be offered this, given the Oracle already knew he- or at least someone with his face- would beat Bill, but I think it's well established he isn't very interested in doing anything without family.)

All in all, things might be a bit crowded with two antagonists. But I do like the concept of Bill's arrival and subsequent chaos triggering Dipper and the Oracle's return to Mabel's dimension. I also love the idea of Bill, the Oracle, and some secret third thing all trying to pull the Pines family apart, and it's like a Man vs. God turned into a Family vs. Destiny thing, idk. Just trying to make it feel bigger.

Thank you for reading all this. It was a lot to draw. Next time I do anything for Relativity Falls, I'm gonna go back to the smaller things like Mabel bonding with the kids and stuff like that.

[bitterspoons]

For once, I thought it was me.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Soulmate au where you can hear the songs your soulmate is listening to. Fred asks your best friend—Angelina—to the ball thinking she's his soulmate.

use of y/n

Warnings: Angst and just a lil' fluff

Word Count:

part one / part two coming soon

A/N: of course the first thing I write is a soulmate au 😭—it's fine and I hope you like it.

"Angelina!" Y/n calls, running over to the Gryffindor table—almost tripping over her feet before placing a hand on Angelina's shoulder.

"Yes?" Angelina looked up from her conversation with the Weasley twins and smiled at her best friend. The Great Hall was bustling with noise.

Y/n panted, catching her breath as she fixed her hair. "Sorry—I just—I ran—oh god I'm dying—" Y/n tried to catch her breath before waving her hand at the twins. "Give me a second—continue your conversation..."

Angelina chuckled before turning back to George and Fred. "This is my friend, Y/n." Angelina introduced. "She's in Hufflepuff so I doubt you would've met her."

Y/n waved, stealing some of Angelina's water.

"Why haven't you invited her to some of our parties?" George asked, batting his eyes. "It would've been nice, seeing a pretty face more often."

Angelina rolled her eyes at the flirt, making space next to her for Y/n. "Yeah, I've asked her but she's not a huge fan of social events." She explained. "It's a miracle she's even in the Great Hall—why aren't you with Willow?"

"Oh, I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out after Divination. Turns out my detention with Professor Sprout is cancelled!" The Hufflepuff said happily, still a bit red from George's flattering.

"Hell yeah!" Angelina cheered. "I told you she loves you."

Y/n smiled. "Yeah but turning her favorite plant into a pair of heels is pushing the line."

Fred cackled. "Y/n, You did what?!"

In her head, a symphony sounded. Him just saying her name sounded like an orchestra.

Pops of warmths fidgeted around her. She had always had a crush on the Weasley, and she never really knew when it happened. She hasn't told a soul and she never would. It was just— he always seemed so happy. She had made him happy, she made him laugh.

Y/n beamed as she explained how she had gotten too caught up with her conversation with Angelina about what shoes to wear for the Yule Ball, she had completely forgotten about the spell she was casting.

"Little Chéri's a troublemaker huh?" Fred teased, scrunching up his nose.

"Chéri?!" Angelina cackled—not a fan of pet names in the slightest.

George grumbled. "Fred has been learning French so he can impress girls."

Y/n laughed, taking a sip of Angelina's water again. "I think it's cute." She bit the tip of her thumbs, an old habit of hers.

"Ever the hopeless romantic, Y/n." Angelina commented, stealing her drink back.

The four engaged in conversation until a Slytherin tapped on Y/n's shoulder. "Uh—Y/n, I think I have a fitting right now." She said awkwardly, getting glares from the Gryffindors.

"Oh!" Y/n shot up, grabbing the last strawberry off of Angelina's plate before grabbing Angelina's pen—sticking it behind her ear—and running off, dragging the Slytherin with her.

"Hey!" Angelina protested, grumbling as she bit into her toast.

"What was that about?" Fred asked, battling Ron for the last corndog.

"Huh? Oh—Y/n and I are helping organise the Ball." Angelina explained, not seeing how Fred watched her run her fingers through her hair as she grabbed another pen to do her Potions Homework. "She's helping make and tailor people's outfits."

"Y/n?" Hermione clarified, popping into the conversation. "She's ridiculously talented, she made the dress I'm wearing!"

"She made adjustments on mine!" Angelina looked at Hermione. "I didn't like how bland my dress was, so she helped bedazzled it."

"Do you think she can fix Fred's dress?" George asked, earning a punch from Fred. "Ow! No seriously though, his tie is all wonky and his pants go way past his feet. Poor bloke's gonna trip!"

Angelina laughed, packing her stuff away and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Find out yourself! I have to go check up on the Frog Choir."

Just a couple minutes later, Fred heard oddly croaky choruses from his soulmate.

●●●

Fred was trying to go the sleep that night, but all he could hear was stupid music.

When he couldn't decipher whether he was hearing it through his soulmate or if he was hearing it in the common room, he shoved his slippers on and slowly went down stairs.

As he peeked his head around the corner, he saw Angelina dancing with somebody—a CD player in the background as they laughed.

It was the same music playing in his head...Is Angelina—actually his soulmate?

He watched Angelina dance with her friend, practicing their dance for the ball before slowly going back upstairs.

Y/n and Angelina fell the floor in a heap, almost crying of laughter as Angelina stepped on Y/n's foot and then went crashing to the floor.

"So, are you planning on asking your mystery crush to the ball?" Angelina asked, rolling onto her stomach and popping the CD out.

Angelina didn't have a clue about her crush on one of the Weasley twins. Y/n refused to tell her, but she did give vague details about why she liked him so much.

"You think I have time for that?" Y/n questioned, brushing her hair. "Even if I did have the time to ask him, he's probably not even my soulmate."

"Who cares?" Angelina asked, exasperated.

Angelina was one of the people who couldn't hear music from their soulmate, it happened more than you'd think—about as common as dyslexia.

Angelina didn't give two fucks about whether the person she was dating was her soulmate, she tended to do whatever she wanted.

"Well—my soulmate is pretty cool too." Y/n protested.

"Well obviously!" Angelina retorted. "They has to be good enough for our Y/n"

"Oh stop it." Y/n laughed, throwing her hairbrush at Angelina. "I won't have time to ask someone and besides, I think he likes someone else." Y/n looked down, fiddling at the edge of her pink pyjamas.

"Your soulmate or your crush?"

"Maybe both!"

●●●

Fred woke up early today, mostly because he couldn't sleep. I mean, he just found his soulmate! This is the moment that everybody waits for, and it finally happened!

Fred was utterly in love with whoever his soulmate was. The two soulmates have sang duets with each other since they could talk—never making any action to try and find each other but Fred would be lying if he said he hadn't blasted music in his ears just to see if someone in the Great Hall would react.

His soulmate was constantly listening to music and singing songs, it comforted him whenever he heard it—especially since he's heard it since he was little.

And it was Angelina, a girl he was been trying not to crush on for ages.

Fred walked down the stairs, almost laughing when he saw Angelina.

Angelina and Y/n were completely passed out on the common room couches, paper sprawled out as they were doing a history of magic essay.

Fred shook Angelina awake. "Angie...Angie!"

Angelina fell off the bed. "What?"

Fred grinned. "I just thought you might wanna head to bed before the rest of the house wakes up."

Angelina rubbed her eyes before looking around—seeing essay papers, pens and her best friend, still sleeping as she sleepily held the tip of her thumb in her mouth and lulled herself asleep. "What time is it?"

"You have a little less than three hours before everybody else wakes up."

Angelina sighed, getting up and separating their papers and pens. "Hey, Fred?"

"Yeah?" He said hopefully.

"Can you do me a favour?"

Angelina handed him a messenger bag with little bows and gold chains decorating it, he took it without question as she continued.

"Do you think you could get Y/n to her common room? This is.. um This is the longest she's slept for a while and I don't know how to get into the Hufflepuff common room."

Fred thought for a moment—but who was he to deny his soulmate? After all, getting into the Hufflepuff dorms were easy—having learned the ins and outs of practically the whole school.

So Fred slung the bag across his shoulder and walked over to Y/n, still sleeping peacefully.

"Thank you!" Angelina grabbed her own supplies and started going up stairs. "You're the best!" She called. "I'll get you a tailoring with her today! Is dinner alright?"

Fred nodded, slowly picked Y/n up, putting her on the couch so he could give her a piggy back ride to her common room. "Hold on..."

Almost as if her sleeping body could hear it, Y/n's body tensed up, making it easier for Fred to carry.

So Fred walked out of the Gryffindor dormitories and started walking in the halls to go to the Hufflepuff common room.

The sun had barely risen, shining dull lights into the hallway and Fred felt Y/n shift in her sleep—ignoring how his skin fluttered as her breath rolled on top of it.

Fred almost stopped walking as Y/n shifted once more, making a small whimper, trying to pull her hand closer to her face.

"Chéri, if you move your hand, you're gonna fall—okay?" Fred said softly, adjusting his grip on her legs, making sure she wouldn't slip.

Y/n hummed in response, tucking her head on Fred's shoulder as he kept on walking.

Fred was halfway to the common room—walking slowly as to not wake up Y/n when he froze.

Having her thumb clasped between her fingers around Fred's chest, supporting her upper body weight—Fred felt her head twitching, needing something to soothe her to sleep.

Not wanting to have to explain the situation to the sleeping girl or disappoint Angelina—Fred adjusted the girl, now giving her a piggy-front, letting Y/n head sit comfortably against his neck.

Fred debated checking whether his face was on fire when the sleeping girl began to press little kisses on his neck, trying to substitute something for her thumb.

Fred continued walking, but why was he so flustered?

Maybe it’s his soulmate’s best friend.

What was her name again? Y/n?

Fred knocked on the Hufflepuff dorm door in the tune of Helga Hufflepuff. Before walking in and taking the stairs to the girl’s dormitory.

Trying not to feel awkward, he searched the dorm labels until he saw it.

______________

Girls Dorm #207

- Susan Bones

- Lia Diggory

- Y/n L/n

______________

Praising Merlin that she didn’t have too many roommates— He knocked on the door a few times, jumping up again to make sure Y/n didn’t slip.

"Hello?" A small voice asked, a very tired red head opened the door.

Fred gave an award smile. "I have a delivery?"

The girl smiled before letting him in and pointing at the empty bed and messed up desk.

Feed walked over, clutching on to Y/n as he quickly flipped the blanket open and tucked her instead. Y/n immediately latched onto the blankets.

Fred smiled before looking at her desk—tons of dress designs a long with tons of reminders everywhere when a certain one caught his eyes.

The Weasley Twins Inspired Dress

Curious, he picked up the sketch to see that she managed to make a confetti canon dress, inspired by that time he and George covered the Slytherin team in confetti right before a Quidditch match against Hufflepuff.

"I think you're cute together," Susan whispered bashfully, her cheeks pink.

"Oh no," her face fell when Fred denied it. "I already found my soulmate today."

"Oh I'm sorry." Susan apologised, combing her hair. "I just thought your h—never mind." She began to point at her neck before waving it off. "I assume you know how to take care of it?"

"Yeah! I'm planning on asking her to the yule ball!" Fred said, not having any idea what Susan was talking about.

"What? Ya know what—" Susan dug through her make up bag before grabbing Fred's arm and swatching some concealer shades. "You're lucky, you're my winter shade." Susan tossed Fred a concealer wand before shooing him out. "Bye!"

Holding onto the concealer, extremely confused, Fred walked back to him common room before going into the bathroom.

"Shit." Fred vocalised, realising why Susan Bones has thrown him concealer.

A light hickey lay on the side of his neck where Y/n had been.

Fred spent the next two hours trying to figure out how concealer worked.

He didn't understand it—instead opting for a scarf instead to cover up the blotchy disaster he created on his neck.

●●●

Y/n genuinely didn't question why she woke up in her bed and more concerned on her planner—you could see her running up and down the halls all day.

"Professor Moody, may I borrow Ron Weasley please?"

Ron showed her his suit for the ball. "Never mind, you're beyond help. Professor Moody, you can have him back." Y/n said, scribbling something out in her planner.

Taking the stairs, Y/n just started walking—flipping to the back of her planner to edit some sketches and ideas for dresses—not noticing the stair cases changing directions.

Walking up and down and sideways along the halls, Y/n kept walking until she bumped into someone.

"I'm so sorry!" She said automatically only to be shushed by two voices. "Huh—?"

""SHH!" Y/n looked at the two Weasley twins.

"Why?" She asked, looking around to see nobody.

"I don' know," Fred admitted.

"We're skipping, so I assume we have to be quiet." George finished.

The Hufflepuff scoffed. "I'm not skipping. I did all my work in advance so I could focus of the dress making." She looked down at the planner. "And on that note—you have a appointment with me in two minutes. We can't be late!"

"Does that mean you have the answers?" Fred asked as he got dragged away.

"We can discuss answers after we're on time for our session."

"If it's our appointment, how can we be late?"

Y/n sighed, shaking her head. “It’s fine we’re almost there, Willow’s gonna be upset.”

“Who?”

Y/n dragged Fred near a tree where a small desk, mannequins and color swatches were, Y/n thrust Fred upon a little platform until tree branches began to swing around chaotically.

“Willow! Calm down! This isn’t Ron! This is a different Weasley!” Y/n started yelling.

“Willow? As in the Whomping Willow?!”

“Stop moving!” Y/n snapped, petting the branches. “Willow didn’t like it when your brother nearly killed her with a car. I think she has like— Weasley trauma.”

Fred cackled. “Weasley trauma?” A tree branch slapped the back of his head. “Hey!”

“She’s very sensitive.” Y/n defended. “Speaking of Ron, please tell me your suit isn’t as hideous.”

“Don’t worry— I just have a normal suit… I wasn’t sure if I should’ve brought it so I just wore it—”

“That’s perfect. Mind shrugging off the jacket and scarf?”

Nervously, Fred took off the scarf and jacket, revealing the concealer mess on his neck.

���Oh sweetie, what the hell happened to your neck!” Y/n cooed. "Goodness, let me help you. You're gonna break out... Accio makeup kit!"

"I have every shade under the sun, I'm helping people with their makeup too." Y/n waved her hand down. "Get down, off." Y/n stepped onto the platform as Fred stepped off, facing Y/n.

Y/n took a makeup wipe and cleaned up the spot before taking out a whisk and spinning it on the hickey.

"When did you learn how to hide hickey? Does that even work?" Fred asked, watching the metal kitchen utensil.

"Oh hush, it's common knowledge." Y/n pushed his face away, continuing to whisk. "It helps the blood disperse. Next time, put ice on it before it bruises."

Shade matching and blending it in, Y/n hoped Fred couldn't hear her heart beating out of her chest as she finished hiding the red mark. "See? Like it never even happened."

Willow presented a mirror for Fred to see for himself, thank god because that scarf was very itchy.

"Now, how much are we thinking off the tie?" Y/n held up a tape measure and a sharpie, tucking the sharpie behind her ear. "It supposed to be around your belt buckle...Do you feel comfortable with it over here?"

Fred nodded, looking at her in the mirror more than him. Why hadn't he seen her more often? Has she been friends with Angelina for a long time?

"Lovely...okay do you mind if I take this?" Y/n took the colorful tie off Fred and held it up to Willow." Willow, this is Fred's tie." Willow held onto the tie.

"Okay just one second..." Y/n brought out a sheet of brown fabric and a sheet of black fabric and hopped onto the platform with him. She pulled the black one around half of his chest and the brown one around the other half.

"Okay so I think the brown is more flattering on you, I feel like you look paler with the black one—Hey!"

Fred's head started tilting to one side as he imagined Angelina and her hanging out—still in disbelief he had actually found his soulmate.

Y/n grabbed his jaw and moved it so that it faced her. "Sorry, I just need to see—" Y/n furrowed her eyebrows confused as Fred pointed at something in the distance behind her.

Y/n looked behind her only for her jaw to pulled back and facing Fred, pulling the same move she had accidentally done to him. "Touché," She smiled—desperately hoping she wasn't blushing.

"How long have you friends with Angelina?" Fred asked, snapping Y/n out of her mental freakout.

"Oh—uh, since first year. We met on the train." Y/n cast a spell to turn Fred's suit brown. "Yeah that looks better—you looked like you were going to a funeral."

“Then why do I never see you guys hang out?”

Y/n thinks before answering. “I like to keep myself busy, that or I just eat in the kitchen.”

“Why not hang out with Angelina?”

“Uh- Well Alicia and I don’t really get along so I don’t want to make it weird for Angelina. Besides, most of the time Angelina hangs out with me in the kitchen.”

So that’s why Fred never sees Angelina in the Great hall. “Why the kitchen?”

“Because the house elves love me.” Y/n smiled, writing her to do list. “Besides, I like baking.”

Fred stepped off the platform and watched Y/n write. “Do you bake any of the food in the Great Hall?”

“The brownies, but sometimes I also cook the ribs but I like baking more than cooking.”

Fred loves the brownies, he eats them every time they show up on the table.

“Speaking of food… It’s dinner, you better hurry before all the seats are taken.” Y/n starting putting things away and getting out a dress presumingly belonging to her next appointment.

Fred stepped off the small platform, checking his covered hickey once more before starting to turn around. "You aren't going to dinner?"

"Maybe later." She responded quickly, casting a spell on the dress. "Not hungry. " She said briefly. "You can pick up your tie by like tomorrow."

"Alright then, I'll see you around?"

"Sure. Angelina! Can you grab that?" A piece of fabric swirled away in the wind near an approaching Angelina.

Fred walked away, happy with his day and his fitting appointment.

(A/N lmao I have nooooo idea how to end these. Part two could be ready tomorrow or in 3 months, we'll see.)

[luveline]

if you're still taking them I would love to make a request for Eddie and Roan! do you know how sometimes little kids will call their parents workplace just to talk about the most random things or just ask some totally super important question? I feel like roan would do that with the reader and Eddie

thank you for your request!! eddie and roan —roan learns how to use the phone, 1.3k

Eddie used to feel nervous when the phone rang for him at work. "Call for baby Munson!" shouted across the shop while Eddie was usually flat on his back under a truck or elbow deep in a scooter engine, he'd get this pit in his stomach thinking something was wrong. 

It was usually daycare. Roan's sick, Roan's wet herself and her spare clothes aren't here, is Roan allergic to veggie sticks? Because she's saying she is. 

But nowadays, a phone rings for him and it's almost always you with something nice to say. You miss him. You've been thinking about him. All manner of gooey soft confession that has him clutching the phone like a loser, desperate for your voice. 

He springs away from his lunch when he's called. Darwin gives Eddie a funny look as he passes the phone. 

Eddie shrugs it off. "Hello?" he asks. "Y/N?"

"It's me!" 

Eddie feels his eyebrows leap up. "Hi, me." Roan hadn't ever used the phone unassisted, to his memory. "Where's mom?" 

"She's trying to fix your hair dryer." 

Eddie hears it, then, the roaring blow in the background. "Why does it sound like that?" 

"She dropped it. I think she's sad." 

"Ro, I fixed it!" you shout, followed by an even louder howling of air, and a heavy silence. "Okay, I didn't." 

"Is that why you called me?" Eddie asks, bemused.

"No, I called you because I want to know how they make corndogs. How do they get the hot dog inside of the corn, dad?" 

Eddie puts his hand on the wall to steady himself as he laughs. "You wanna know how they make corndogs? Are you gonna make some?" 

"I could if I knew how!" she stresses. "I'd ask mom, but she's pre-oc-u-pied."

"That's a big word, babe, where'd you learn that one?" Eddie asks, impressed. 

"Dad, corndogs!" 

"Right, right. Okay, well. They put the hot dog on the stick first, and then the corn part is actually batter. They roll the hotdog around in the batter and cook them together in the fryer. So it isn't the hotdog going into the corn, it's actually corn going on the hotdog." 

"Batter like for cakes?"

"No," he laughs fondly. "And it's not sweet corn, babe, it's something called cornmeal. Maybe we can make some this week, wouldn't that be fun? Then you can see how they make them for real. I think that would be super fun."

His bubbly tone attracts the attention and subsequent laughter of his colleague. He throws them all the bird, totally content and more than happy with his life and his curious girl. 

"Yes," Roan cheers, dragging the 's' syllable until she's out of breath, "oh my god that would be so fun!" 

"Okay, then that's what we'll do. Are you being good for mom?" 

"I'm being awesome." There's a weird crunching noise. "Did you hear that? I think she put the screwdriver in the hairdryer again." 

"Again?" Eddie asks worriedly. 

Roan must put the phone down. Eddie genuinely can't hear a thing, until you pick up the receiver and say, "Hallo?" 

"You blowing up the house?" 

You make a pleased noise that has his heart doubling in size. "Hi, Eddie. I'm having a technological mishap, but rest assured, we are in no danger of explosion. Anymore. What did you call for? It's lunch, isn't it?" 

"Actually, Roan called me. She wanted to know how to make corndogs." 

"You do know everything," you say. "Go and eat your lunch, baby. We'll still be here when you get home, yeah? I love you. Roan, come and tell daddy you love him before we hang up." 

A small silence. "Dad?" Roan asks. 

"Yep, still here." 

"I love you, okie dokie? Please come home in an hour."

Eddie laughs warmly. It's more like four hours, but whatever she wants to think is what he'll tell her. "I love you. Tell Y/N I love her, too, will you? Thank you." 

"Yes!" Her voice comes quieter, "I love you," Roan says to you. 

"I love you, too. Let's make dinner." 

You must think he's said goodbye, because the phone gets a knock and the dial tone sounds. 

—

You're sitting at your desk shovelling pretzels into your mouth while you click around your emails when the phone rings. You slide it between your ear and shoulder, pausing your frankly messy chewing. "Hello and good afternoon, Y/N L/N speaking, how can I help?" 

"Y/N?" Roan says worriedly.

"Roan? What's the matter?" 

"Oh, it is you! It didn't sounded like you at first, that's weird." 

"Sorry, gorgeous, I was using my voice for fancy grown ups."

She giggles like this is the funniest thing you've ever said to her, "You're being funny," she praises. 

You're secretly incredibly pleased. Making your six year old laugh never gets old. "So nothing is wrong, then? You know, those numbers on the fridge are for emergencies." 

"This is an emergency." 

"Yeah, I bet. What's going on? Where's dad?" 

"He's making toffee cake for you. I was helping him do the buttercream but my arms got tired from whisking." 

"Is that why you're calling me?" 

"Yeah." 

You dig for a saltier pretzel and chew thoughtfully. "What's the tiredest part? Your shoulders?" 

"And my fingers." 

"Asked daddy to kiss 'em better?" 

"I would but he's trying to be perfect about the cake. It looks yummy." 

"Did you get to lick the bowl?" 

"Yeah, and dad let me eat a spoon of the melted chocolate. It was pretty great." 

You grin into the receiver. "I bet it was amazing. Maybe you can try and rest your poor arms. Make daddy pour you a big glass of cranberry juice with the heart shaped ice cubes and watch TV until I come home, okay? That's an order."

"Okay," she laughs. "When are you coming home?" 

"I can leave in about twenty minutes, and the drive home takes another twenty, so…" You check the time on your computer. "I think by five." 

"Ugh, that's forever away." 

"I know. Do what I said, okay? Sit down on the couch. I can have a little look at your arms when I come home, maybe we can have a pamper night tonight. We can use some of my fancy lotion and rub it in like a massage," you say. 

"That sounds nice," she hums. 

"Alright, sweetheart. Listen, can I talk to dad before I go back to work?" 

"Yep, yep." You know what's coming as soon as she inhales. "Daddy!" she bellows at the top of her lungs, "Y/N's on the phone!" 

It's flattering how swiftly he gets there. "Hey?" he asks. 

"Hi, do we need anything for me to grab on the way home? I know you ran out of deodorant, was there anything else?" 

"Nothing I can think of. You okay?" 

"I'm awesome. I told Ro you'd make her a big cup of juice for her sore arms." 

"She told you about those, huh?" He kisses her audibly. "She's the best mixer ever. I was thinking we'd change her name to kitchen aid." 

You choke on a pretzel. Coughing, you laugh through a chastisement. "You leave her name alone. Roan is a nice name all by itself." 

"If you insist," he says grandly. "See you in an hour? I've got a surprise for you." 

"I can't wait," you say. You'll pretend to be totally surprised at his cake, no problem. Anything to make him smile. "Love you both. See you soon." 

"Love you. Say love you," Eddie prompts. 

"I love you!" Roan yells. "I'll make dad put your blanket in the dryer!" 

You put down the phone with a small smile, wondering if you can weasel your way past your eagle-eyed coworkers for an early finish. 

[slamminslamminmcgill]

I just know wade would be asking u to grind ur teeth down on it...i just know it....

hi anon ur so right wade actually has you do insane shit to him dick biting is just the BEGINNING‼️😮‍💨 and the first time he suggests it you’re mortified 😭 you’re giving him that gawk gawk 3000 typhoon top but he’s still kinda soft 😰 you’re lowkey worried feeling self-conscious about your head game until he cups your face and swipes his thumb across your cheek

“can i ask you a weird question?”

when you’re having sex with wade wilson, this could lead to literally anything. “does this bump on my nutsack look different than usual?”, “what’s your stance on the death penalty?”, “did i ever tell you about that time i got my dick stuck in the toaster?” you brace yourself for whatever batshit insanity is about to slide out of his mouth.

“yeah, go for it.”

“can you use your teeth on it? just, like… keep doing what you’re doing, please, it’s fucking amazing. i just want a little more texture.”

huh?! is he for real?! but you’ve worked so hard to NOT do that! years of toiling in the dick-sucking mines has trained that right out of you, and he wants you to throw all that away? why?! “uh… are you sure?”

he just laughs in response

“aw, you’re so cute! so sweet, worrying about me like that! think about it. why would i ask for this if i didn’t want you to do it, stupid boy?”

…y’know what? fair enough. you close your teeth around his shaft and cheese grater up and down the length of his throbbing, bumpy cock.

“OH~! fuck, just like THAT, baby, YES~! mmm… fu-u-ck, that’s perfect… like… like you’re trying to bite the batter off a corndog, baby, there you go…”

and when i say it gets worse from there i mean it gets WORSE!!!! like he’ll come up behind you while you’re cooking dinner.

“hey, slutter-butter, you got a minute?”

“uh… yeah, actually!” you put down the knife you were about to use to chop an onion, and spin around to face him. “haven’t really started yet, what’s—“

he’s holding a strap-on.

“yes, hi, this is wade wilson, i’ve got an appointment for a prostate exam at 4PM?”

you smirk and saunter towards him, eager to play along with this spontaneous bit, “hmm… i’m not seeing you on our records, mr. wilson. are you sure it was scheduled for today?”

“i’m not sure, actually. i’ve made that mistake before. but this clinic takes walk-ins, right?”

“yes we do, sir, but today’s been pretty busy.” you wrap your fingers around his on the silicone shaft and pull him into you. “but i’ll see if i can squeeze in you.”

wade bounces and squees with joy and hands you the strap. you don’t even get it all the way on your hips before he’s bending over. onto the stove. where you were preheating a cast-iron skillet.

“oh, shit, WADE—!”

“what?” he stares at you blankly, holding the hot pan you were about to use. he’s silent for a moment, then two, and then it clicks. “oh!” he sets the pan down in the sink, claps his hands together, then points at you. “forgot you’re a normie! logan fucks me over the stove all the time. doesn’t really matter for us, since we’re freaks of nature and third degree burns just tickle us psychosexually, but, uh… would you… wanna try it? do a little flambé action? roasted wade wilson breasts? i promise, it’s fun. it makes me moan like a coked-up whore late on rent.”

you snort at his stupid comparison, and it actually puts your mind at ease a bit. it doesn’t surprise you that him and logan get up to this kinda thing when you’re not around. in fact, you’re actually flattered to be allowed to take part in it. to take advantage of him like this.

“fuck it. bend over, you fucking weirdo masochist.”

“yippee! yay! thank you, daddy!!!”

wade eagerly yanks his shorts down, widens his stance, and slams his bare chest onto the glowing red burner. his leathery skin sizzles with the smell of cooked human flesh.

“ooooh, that feels so fucking good on my right nipple… lemme roll a little, get the other side, ah~! oh-h-h, it hurts so fucking good!!!”

you get into position behind him, but he holds his hand out backwards to halt you.

“wait! one more thing!”

he reaches over and grabs the gigantic chef’s knife, freshly sharpened and pristine, that you had lying on the cutting board next to a soon-to-be mutilated onion, and offers it to you.

“jam this through my palm when i say i’m getting close. that’s the finishing move. have me spraying a whole little league team out my dick.”

[wardenparker]

CONGRATS on 2.5k!! You deserve every follow! ❤️ For the co-writer (along with @absurdthirst) of the Whiskey fic that made brain go BRRRRR and got me into reading/writing our fave corndog, how about our Agent with the prompts: "Should we make it official?" and/or "Put me down!" Have fun!

Agent Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels. 2,300 words. "Put me down!"/"Should we make it official?" (Sequel to: "Wait! Please don't go!"/"There is no 'us'." ) Co-written with @absurdthirst

When Jack hits the door, heads turn. The sharp, confident gait of a man on a mission who will not be stopped just shimmers in the air around him. Eyes sharp and narrowed, they scan the floor, looking for someone. For you.

“Can I help you, sir?” It’s the weekend, so a greeter is stationed at the door of the upscale retail store, to help direct customers through the maze of shelves and displays. It is the middle of the city so there are plenty of different kinds who come in every day, but this is definitely the first cowboy that’s ever set foot inside the Lexington Avenue Sephora.

Jack says your name and throws the woman a charming grin. “She’s helped me before so I’m hoping to see her again.” He lies, knowing that you won’t talk to him otherwise.

"Sure! Of course." The new girl smiles warmly, blushing a little as she's easily taken in by the charm that drips off of Jack like dew drops. "She's in fragrances today. All the way at the back of the store."

“Thank you kindly.” He tips his hat like a gentleman and starts for the back of the store. The past two weeks have been miserable. He’s drank, he’s raged, he’s blamed you for expecting too much. Then, when you rejected the bouquet of flowers he had sent to your parent’s house after misusing Statesman resources to find where you were, he had come to a hard truth. He had done you wrong. He hadn’t spoken from heart, not made himself uncomfortable for the sake of growth. Holding onto the fear of losing you if he loved you had caused him to lose you. And no surprise, he had loved you, because he is miserable without your voice in his ear, your fragrance on his sheets and your love in his heart. Now, he’s here to get you back.

You're there in the last aisle, helping a young lady find a specific gift she came looking for, in the uniform dress that you hate but tolerate for the sake of your new job. It doesn't pay well enough and it doesn't distract you enough to dull the constant aching hurt inside you after having walked out of Jack's place, but that's why you had started it the second after arriving back at your parents' place. To try to forget him. It isn't working. Not at all.

"I'll be right wit—" The figure looming a few feet away was only a shadow. It's the second you look up that your mouth runs dry and you feel sick to your stomach all over again. "I'm not sure I can help you, sir," you manage, hating the way your heart wings with so much hope. Hope that he wouldn't be here unless he had come for a good goddamn reason. But you have to stay strong. "You might want to try elsewhere."

“But sugar—” Jack drawls, grinning in pure relief at seeing your pretty face again somewhere else than in his dreams or the photos that haunt his walls. “You’re the only one who can help me.”

“Then you’ll have to wait.” Jack’s appearance has thrown you off completely, but you manage to finish up with your customer and take a deep breath — even hide your shaking hands behind your back — before you look at him again. “You came to my work?” Your voice is incredulous. Quiet. “It had better because you’re out of cologne.”

“You blocked my number and your daddy— well, I didn’t think you’d want there to be a brawl on your parent’s front lawn.” He huffs, annoyed that the old man had waved a hammer at him. He knows he could disarm him, but that would make you even madder at him.

“Ginger helped you find me?” You guess with disappointment. But Ginger is his friend. You can’t blame her for being on his side. “I left Jack. And I did it on purpose. Hell, we didn’t even have enough of a relationship to call it a breakup.”

“We had a relationship.” Jack snorts. “We have one still, this ain’t over, sugar.” He promises, “Not by a long shot.”

"We can't do this here." If he wants to have it out all over again, the least he can do is pay you the courtesy of not getting you in trouble at work. This is definitely going to get you in trouble. "I'm not going to lose my job because you can't take no for an answer."

“I love you, sugar.” Jack breaths out, finally saying the words he’s needed to for a long time. The words you deserve.

If there had been anything in your hands, you would have dropped it immediately. As it is, you feel like crumbling – falling down on the spot or running to him – something utterly undignified that would definitely get you written up at minimum. Your eyes mist and your shaking hands tangle around each other, but you can't break down on the sales floor. And beyond that? As much as you want to believe him, to let the anger and the heartache drip away so you can just go home to him where you want to be? It seems completely unbelievable to you that you walking out his door was somehow the magic tonic he needed to learn those damn words.

"My manager is watching," you murmur to him, glancing past him to the petite ice queen several yard away who has zeroed in on an employee not forcing product on every single person in the store. "We can't—it's not—you have to go, Jack."

“I’m not leaving.” He frowns, tossing the overly made-up manager a single look before focusing on you. “Did you not hear what I said?” He asks. “I love you, sugar. I need you.”

"I heard you." The water pressing at the back of your eyes is proof of that, and the way your voice cracks, but you can feel your manager's eyes drilling into your face and that gaze is angry. "I heard you. And we will talk about this, but I can't afford to lose this job and that might happen if you don't go."

“You don’t need this job.” Jack reminds you. You hadn’t had it when you left, so it’s not like you’ve been here for years.

"I have bills to pay," you remind him, rolling that tick in your jaw backward a little and swallowing the bitter pill that you decided to take all on your own. The undefined thing you had going with Jack had come with a big allowance, but it wasn't a sugar situation. That would have at least been a title. "Therefore, I need to keep my job. And the girl who just got hired can get sent out the door just as easily."

“You don’t need to worry about that.” He shakes his head and reaches for your hand. “Come on, sugar.”

“Why, Jack?” You have to keep your voice down as you snatch your hand back, but it’s still a hiss. “So I can be your stay-at-home friend-with-benefits again?”

Jack has many, many faults and one of them is impatience. His jaw clenches and he knows that he needs to get you alone to talk to you, others starting to warily gaze your way. Instead of answering you, Jack drops his shoulder and scoops you up like it’s nothing.

“Oh my fucking god, Jack!” The screech it earns from you is nearly instant, knowing that you have absolutely just lost your job over his stunt and not really knowing what in the hell he plans to do now. “Put me down! Right now!” He’s stronger than you and you don’t stand a chance of wriggling free in the dress you’re wearing. It will be up over your head if you even try.

“Nope.” His gait is just as determined as he passes by your manager, her jaw on the floor. “She quits.” He tells her and continues on to the door and outside.

“JACK!” Your shit is still in your locker and that’s going to be a black mark on your resume, but right now all you can do is beat your fists on his back and shoulder in protest. “What the hell are you doing? Put me down!”

By his Bronco, Jack finally relents, bending down and setting you on your feet. “Now, we can talk.”

Huffing and puffing like you’re about to summon a personal tornado, you don’t even hear him for all the blood pounding in your ears. “What the fuck was that?! Do you know how embarrassed I’m going to be when I have to go back in there and get my purse?”

“It’ll be the last time you go in there.” He predicts and he smirks at you. “And you’ll be flustered too badly to even think about what those crusted old biddies think.”

It’s a reasonable threat, considering how good he is at flustering you. The whole reason you’ve been so upset is because you do love Jack and you wanted this to work out. But standing out there on the street pressed between him and his Bronco? You feel like you’re about to be sold a familiar looking head of cattle after your own just happened to go missing.

“So what’s the play here?” You work very hard to keep your tone skeptical. “You tell me how much you need me so that I’ll come back to you and then nothing really changes? As usual?” He did say the words, but you’re so scared to believe them. To believe him. There’s a chance he doesn’t mean it and that terrifies you.

His eyes narrow, aware that he deserves that little barb but he shakes his head. “No. That’s not what’s going to happen, baby girl.” He huffs. “You are going to go get your purse and then I’m taking you home, where you belong. And I’m going to make you scream my name before you fall asleep on my chest as we plan.”

That all sounds…ridiculously good, actually. It would be a relief to go back to him. To not have to miss him anymore and feel like your heart has been split in two. But all you do is raise one eyebrow in a show of disbelief. “Plan what, exactly?”

“You’re marrying me sugar, today, tomorrow, or the next day.” He growls, smashing his lips against yours and moaning in relief when you melt against him. Pulling away to caress your cheek. “What do you say, baby girl? Should we make it official?”

“Do you…really mean it?” Months of telling him that you wanted to know where you stood with him — wanted commitment from him — only to be sidelined or waylaid or otherwise put off for just a little while longer, they all melt away in the face of the biggest offer of commitment he could possibly make.

“Gotta ring in my pocket.” He confesses, leaning in and brushing your nose with his. “Sugar, I’ve been such a damn fool.” He murmurs. “I thought I could avoid losing you if I didn’t admit I love you. And I just hurt you, something I never wanted to do.”

“That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense cowboy.” It makes Jack Sense, which is not much at all, but still your arms twine around his waist right there on the sidewalk. “But I’m just gonna brush past how long it took you to show up at the party and embrace the fact you’re here at all. Because I didn’t want to leave. I miss the hell out of you.”

“I’m a damaged soul, sugar.” He admits softly. “But I want to be better, I want to give you everything.” He sighs and leans in to kiss you again. “Come home?”

“Everyone is damaged somehow, cowboy.” Melting measurably more with another press of his lips to yours, you lean into the solid wall of Jack’s body completely. “We just have to talk about things from now on, so we don’t get more damage along the way. Okay?”

“Whatever it takes, baby girl.” Jack promises, wrapping his arms around you and holding tight. “I’m never letting you go.”

You’ve cried so much these last few weeks, it’s almost startling to realize that the tears in your eyes now are happy ones. Ecstatic. Overjoyed at having your Jack back in your life, and for the right reasons. If you were separated by more than a few inches it would have been a lunge to kiss him again, but as it is you wrap up in him and hold on tight. “You really have that ring? Because I’m gonna flash it everywhere when I go back into that damn place to get my purse, and then you’re gonna take me home. Our home.”

“I sure do, baby girl.” He has to take one hand out from around you and it almost kills him, but he wants to prove how serious he is. Pulling a small black velvet box from his sports coat. “Tell me what you think. If you don’t like it, we can go pick out any ring you want.”

"How could I not like it?" It's from him and that's all that matters. But the second he pops the little velvet box open, the tears in your eyes spill over and your heart is in your throat. "Baby...it's...it's...I love it. I love you." It's beautiful, and it's real, and he means it.

Leaving was the hardest thing you ever had to do, but if it was the kick in the pants that you both needed to know that the love you have is real? Then it was worth a little ache.

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon   @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04 @weho2kcmo @madnessofadaydreamer

My Masterlist!

[pastafossa]

Something really special and tear inducing happened with Pip today.

(TW for pet loss, not mine but someone else's)

So we were going into the vet for a quick shot he needed, and for a final check on the cut on his leg. So me and him got there pretty close to closing (final appointment of the day), around 3:45 when it closed at 4. And as I'm walking in, I pass a woman hurrying out. She's in tears, and my heart just breaks for her. She gives Pippin a quick, 'hi puppy' and shaky pet in passing.

But then we go through the door into the waiting room. And another woman is sitting there on the bench, cradling a small collar and just sobbing. Sure enough, the little candle is lit up on the counter for pet loss. And I'm not sure what to do - do I offer a hug? Tell her I'm sorry for her loss?

But Pippin decided he knew what to do.

I need you to understand Pip for a second. He has been with us for 3 weeks. The rescue/foster before us had him for 6. This dog is only 9 weeks removed from that horrible farm where he was beaten, neglected, and left outside by himself at all hours and seasons. He did not have love or training. So, he's learning. He still jumps a bit, paws at people. He walks ok on a leash, like he'll pull but not yank, and he's easily distracted. Easily excited by love or attention because he's not used to it. I do not think this dog has ever seen someone cry. He has not been trained to know what to do when someone is upset.

So there's Pip, seeing this distraught woman sobbing in front of him, with - as far as we know - no experience or context he could make a decision by.

In a heartbeat, I'm yanked across the room - something he does not do - so he can reach this woman. He abruptly slows for the final approach, tail gently wagging, and very softly nuzzles at her in a way I haven't seen him do before. And this poor woman reaches down, carefully cradles Pip's head, and whispers, "hi baby, soft boy. My boy was soft too."

And then she just... cries with him, her head on his.

I glance at the receptionist (who may have teared a little like I had) and I kinda tip my head towards them, a 'can I wait to check in?'. I get a nod, and a mouthed, 'we can wait.'

So I just sat down quietly next to her. Let her cry and pet him. He'd done his big lean on her legs with his head in her lap, carefully adjusting whenever she did. After about five minutes she told us - me and Pip - about her dog. 18 years old, one she'd had since he was a puppy. She showed Pip her dog's collar, and showed me pictures on her phone of this dog, a cute little white fluffball with a HUGE doggy grin. And she pets Pippin more, and asks about him - his name, how long we've had him, whether he can sit yet because her boy took a bit to learn. We talk about Pip's skinny head and I get a watery laugh out of her when I tell her I call him corndog brain since I'm pretty sure the only way a brain could fit in his long narrow head was if it was corndog-shaped and went down his snout. We're there for about fifteen minutes before a tech comes out with nose and paw prints and she stands up. Pippin stays right with her, leaning calmly against her side as she takes the prints, her fingers buried in all the fluff around his neck. She gets a hug from the tech, and then leans down to do the same to Pip. And before she goes (Pippin trying very much to follow), she looks at me and just quietly says, '...thank you for letting me borrow him. I needed that.'

I have no idea how Pippin knew what to do, or how he can be like this even after being treated the way he was. But I'm really glad he could help that woman.

[neunhofferart]

Can you mayhaps share more context about the “HOT DOGS” Sean voice line because lord you have lost me with that LOL

Okayyy.... this is a real big case of 'you had to be there' but...

There was an older version of episode 5 where the script called for Sammy and Ben to pick up hot dogs instead of corndogs I think? But I don't think we had a 3D asset for that/we had the asset for corndogs instead and it eventually had to be rerecorded.

But Sean's line read was REALLY distinctive, and I guess @kngstr thought it was so funny he unplugged his headphones and started playing the 'HOT DOGS?' soundbite out loud several times in a row in the middle of the office and I think a bunch of us started parroting the line read back because it was absurd hours in the afternoon.... and after a while of this I remember @riannimation (who usually worked from home and had made the mistake of coming in on THAT day) turned to me and said "do you guys EVER get any work done in the office?"

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Caution to the Wind

Wrecker x Fem!Reader

Summary: For her birthday, Omega asks you and Wrecker to ride the roller coaster with her at the fair.

Pairing: Wrecker x Fem!Reader

Characters: Wrecker, Omega, Hunter, Echo, Crosshair, Tech

Tags & Warnings: modern!AU, family fluff, roller coaster, anxiety, fear of heights

Word Count: 2k

Author's Note: Two fics in one weekend 😱 I think I broke a record 😂 Even though it's shorter than most of my one-shots, rest assured, this idea was predetermined at the beginning and didn't come from my panic that I only have a week left to finish my bingo card 😅 I love the Bad Batch and their characters, but inspiration is a very fickle thing. As always, please enjoy 💚

@clonexreaderbingo Square: Wrecker

It's a beautiful summer day, and as you walk through the crowds of people your senses are filled with the smells of funnel cakes and fried oreos, and the sounds of kids screaming on the fast, colorful, rides at the midway. Today is Omega's birthday, and to celebrate she wanted to spend the day at the local fair with her brothers. Their girlfriends were also allowed to come, making for a fun family day for everyone. It's been forever since you've gone to a fair, so you're also excited.

Omega sits atop Hunter's shoulders and points out everything she wants to do, eat, and ride. Tech keeps a running list of what she says so they don't forget something, including the firework show at the end. Echo is in charge of the map to make sure they take the most efficient path. Crosshair isn't much of a fairgoer, but he would never pass up an opportunity to wipe the floor with the dads at the fair games and win Omega the biggest stuffed animal available.

Then there's you and Wrecker. He's just as excited as Omega to enjoy the fair, but what he's most excited about is the food. Fair food is the best. There's nothing quite like deep fried candy bars and cheap corndogs smothered in ketchup and mustard. You're not sure where he keeps packing it away, but you had to stop after the fried pickles and take a break. You sit down on a bench to rest for a minute, when Wrecker walks over carrying a massive red and blue slushy.

Your eyes widen. "Please tell me that's not for me."

Wrecker laughs. "It's for both of us."

"Oh, thank God," you breathe in relief. You rub your stomach when you feel it gurgle.

"Not feelin' well?" Wrecker asks as he sits down and rubs your back.

"Just ate too much," you answer. "I'll be fine in a bit."

"Guess I'll have to drink this myself then," Wrecker says.

"Knock yourself out," you chuckle.

You continue to relax on the bench under the shade of a tree while you wait for your stomach to settle. It's the middle of the day, and the sun is beating down hard and hot. Everyone is taking a break now around the same bench, making sure to hydrate so the fun can continue without issue. You also end up taking a few sips of that slushy. Omega becomes restless as she plucks pieces of grass impatiently while sitting on the ground waiting to have fun again.

"Can we go now?" Omega asks while tugging on Hunter's pant leg.

"Ten more minutes," Hunter says as he leans against the tree and looks down at Omega.

Omega flops onto her back and groans. "The fair will be closed in ten minutes."

"Actually, the fair will close in approximately eight hours," Tech adds.

 "See?" Echo says as he pats Omega's leg. "Plenty of time to enjoy the rest of the fair."

Omega sits up and rolls her eyes.

"So," you begin, while trying to change the subject, "what's next on the list?"

"Hmm," Omega thinks. "The rides! Definitely the rides."

"Are you sure you don't want to save those until it gets dark?" Echo asks. "The lights on the rides are pretty at night."

Omega pouts.

"Let the kid go on the rides," Crosshair argues. "We've got the wristbands, so we can always come back after it gets dark."

Omega's face lights up and she tugs harder on Hunter's pant leg. "Hunter, please? Can we go now? I want to go on the rides."

Hunter sighs.

"Aw, c'mon, Hunter," Wrecker says. "It's the kid's birthday."

Hunter glances at Echo and Echo shrugs. "Fine. Let's go."

"Yes!" Omega exclaims as she jumps up from the ground.

You smile at her excitement, and stretch your arms above your head as you get up from the bench. You definitely feel more rested, and your stomach has settled since you sat down and stopped eating food. You're not sure about going on any of the rides though. You love the fair as long as you stay on the ground. You mostly enjoy the little shops, stands, music, food, and the animals, but not the rides. They make your stomach queasy, but mostly, you're afraid of heights.

However, for Omega's birthday, you will play along for as much as you can, even if you stay behind to hold everyone's belongings while they go on the rides. Someone has to do it, so it might as well be you. The first ride Omega chooses is an easy one, the carousel. Now that's a ride you can handle, and everyone can still carry their belongings onto the ride. It's not too fast and not too high, just perfect for someone like you, and possibly the only ride you'll go on.

After the carousel, the group hops from one ride to the next. Your plan of staying back and holding everyone's belongings is working out very well, and so far, no one has questioned it. Wrecker knows your apprehension towards rides and fear of heights, so he doesn't have to ask. Even through his own fear of heights, he still goes on the rides with Omega and everyone else. You admire him for working through his fear, for his little sister's sake, and wish you could too.

After a couple more hours of rides, the sun starts sinking lower in the sky and the heat of the day passes, with a slight breeze blowing in from the east. You thought that Omega would be tired by now from all of the walking and rides, but no, she is still moving like she was this morning. You don't know where she gets all of the energy from, but you now understand why Hunter is so tired all of the time. Keeping up with that ball of energy must be exhausting for him.

Just as you think you'll be leaving the midway to get more snacks and drinks before the firework show, Omega pulls everyone to one last ride. The roller coaster. You look up at the colossal giant of twisting metal and lose your breath as a cart of screaming people flies by across from you. That's one big nope from you. You are happy to just stay on the ground and let everyone else fly down that hill to their deaths. You take a seat on the bench by the line and try to relax.

"C'mon," Omega says as she pulls on your hand. "We're going on the roller coaster!"

You instinctively shrink down further onto the bench. "Oh, no, Omega. I can't."

"Please?" she pleads. "I want us all to go."

"Really, I–"

"It's for the kids' birthday," Crosshair interrupts. "If I have to put up with it, so do you."

"I don't like roller coasters," you explain. "They're way too high and scary."

"The probability of getting hurt on a roller coaster is one in one hundred and seventy million," Tech adds. "You will be fine by my calculation."

Echo elbows Tech and gives him a look. "Really?"

Tech pushes his glasses up. "My calculations are never wrong."

"Guys, please," you say. "I'm really afraid of heights. I can't do it."

"Wrecker is afraid of heights," Hunter notes, "and he's gone on everything."

"Well, maybe my fear of heights and his fear of heights are different," you argue.

"Mesh'la," Wrecker says as he sits on the bench next to you. "If you sit next to me, you know I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"But–"

"Just this once," Wrecker insists. "For Omega."

You sigh and look into Wrecker's soulful eyes. "Promise nothing will happen?"

"Promise," Wrecker says with a comforting smile.

You take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "Okay, let's go before I change my mind."

"Yes!" Omega exclaims. "Roller coaster here we come!"

The wait in line for the roller coaster is rather short, so you don't get a lot of time to overthink your absolutely horrible decision. You're not sure how you let them talk you into it, but here you are, stepping into the car of a roller coaster and regretting every second of it. You chose a car in the middle of the roller coaster, because both being in the front or the back is terrifying, then Wrecker squeezes in after you. He pulls the safety bar down and drapes his arm over your shoulder.

"Wreck," you say with a shaky voice. "I don't think I can do this."

"Just hold onto me," Wrecker says. "I gotcha."

You clamp your hands onto Wrecker's arm as best you can and squeeze your eyes shut. You want to get off, but the ride hasn't even started yet. You can hear Omega in one of the cars in front of you giggling in anticipation, while you, on the other hand, are hyperventilating and hanging on for dear life. Every terrifying possibility and horrific outcome races through your mind all at once and you wonder if you should have written a will before you let yourself get on the ride.

It's too late now. You feel the car jerk beneath you and the chain clanking as it pulls the line of cars down the track and towards the first hill. Every muscle in your body is tense and you don't dare to open your eyes, but you still feel it. You feel it moving beneath you along the track and your anxiety grows when your body leans back against the hard seat as the coaster is pulled up the first hill. Every alarm bell in your head is going off, warning you that you won't survive the drop.

Then it stops, and for a moment you let yourself relax, thinking you must be at the top of the hill. Of course, where else could you be? The anticipation of what's to come overwhelms your already tense body and you steal a peek, but instantly regret it. You're up, high up, very high up, and the only way down is to let the coaster take you there, but you don't want it to move. You feel sick and you hold onto Wrecker's arm even tighter, wondering if he feels the same way.

Before you can get the answer, you're careening down the hill at top speed. The rushing wind blows your hair wildly as your stomach enters your throat as the feeling of weightlessness takes over. But before you can pass out, your weight returns, pushing your butt back down into the seat. Now that your breath is back, you can finally scream. You scream for dear life, and you're pretty sure Wrecker is having as much of a horrible time as you are, but he stays strong for you.

Thankfully, the ride comes to a stop back at the station. The safety bars release, but you've got one solid grip on the bar and another on Wrecker's arms, refusing to let go, even though the ride is over. Your body has clamped down and you're stuck. You won't even open your eyes. Even if you try to move, you know your legs will be wobbly and you'll probably fall over, or at the least look ridiculous trying to exit the ride. Then you feel two strong arms lifting you out of the seat.

"I've got you," Wrecker soothes. "You're okay."

"Am I alive?" you ask with a shaky voice, eyes still squeezed shut.

"I think so," Wrecker says, then pinches your arm.

"Ow!" you yell and open your eyes.

"Yup," Wrecker says. "Alive and well."

You can't help but laugh. "Thanks."

Wrecker smiles and gives you a soft kiss on the forehead, which you lean into to help soothe your shot nerves.

"C'mon, guys!" Omega calls. "We're gonna miss the firework show!"

"Can you handle that?" Wrecker asks.

You sigh as your body begins to relax. "As long as I get to stay on the ground I can."

"Can do," Wrecker smiles, then drops your legs so you can stand.

"Actually, can you carry me?" you ask with big doe eyes. "I'm so tired and my legs feel like jelly."

"Always," Wrecker says, then picks you back up and follows after the rest of the group.

Masterlist

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[scary-grace]

masterpost/faq/etc

**UPDATE: My fics on Ao3 are currently locked for registered users only. I have plenty of invites available, so let me know if you’re in need of one!**

I have been meaning to make one of these for probably a decade, but here we are. I'm Grace, I'm 28, and I'm a purveyor of weird fics and zero-note personal posts. I write exclusively for the Tolkienverse (with heavy emphasis on The Hobbit and heavier emphasis on Barduil) and for My Hero Academia (Erasermic, Shigaraki x reader, and probably other stuff if I stay in the fandom long enough). You can find me on Ao3 at BiSquared.

My askbox is always open! I'm basically always accepting prompts, but I'm bad about doing them with any consistency, so there's usually a backlog. That being said, when I do answer prompts, I answer them in the form of full one-shots (which for me are almost always 3k+), and if you're on Ao3 I'll gift them to you! I don't really do commissions, but I do have a Ko-fi.

My Fics

Shigaraki x reader masterlist

Tolkienverse:

seeking a friend - the Barduil zombie apocalypse AU you were probably not warned about. This is a series - the main fic, seeking a friend for the end of the world, is complete, and there's also a lot of bonus content, including an AU of the AU where there are no zombies. (280k+ words)

bring on your wrecking ball - the Bagginshield and Barduil band au nobody asked for. Come for the thought of Thorin singing lead in a country band, stay for the ridiculous bedtime stories, homemade song lyrics, and very slow burn. This is a series, involving the same events told from three different perspectives -- Thorin's, Bilbo's, and Bard's. (650k+ words and counting)

Kairos - a Barduil fic set in 1977, wherein Thranduil and his children move into an enormous house on a sprawling estate and Thranduil falls in love with the caretaker. This fic is a monster. I finished writing it in 2021, and it's 565k words long, so it'll be posting for a while. (243k+ words and counting)

soon you'll get better - a collection of thirty whump prompts featuring Bard and Thranduil, all written during February 2022. (90k+ words)

more than words can wield the matter - canon, post Battle of the Five Armies, featuring Bard receiving some rather inappropriate letters from a certain Elvenking. One-shot.

and many more...

My Hero Academia (Erasermic)

one headlight - Erasermic hanahaki AU series, featuring both Aizawa's and Mic's POVs! (58k+ words and counting)

the rooftop gang's guide to finding a family - Erasermic no quirks AU series, featuring Jewish Present Mic (check out @corndog-patrol's art for the inspiration), adoption of various children and pets, and very awkward first meetings. (79k+ words and counting)

As Above, So Below - Erasermic AU based on Junji Ito's Uzumaki. In progress but close to completion! (72k+ words and counting)

promise i'll be the cure - Erasermic sex pollen fic, wherein Aizawa gets nailed with sex pollen and Mic finally gets the chance to take care of him. Warning: No sex. One-shot.

and many more...

If you have any questions, feel free to hit up my askbox or send me a message! I'm always happy to chat.

[revleftshark]

Chillaxing and listening to the Wicked audiobook while thinky thoughts brew on Agatha Harkness because of course.

Agatha said the Wicked Witch was inspired by her. Billy said prove it. Which is fair.

But what if she didn't mean inspired by her adult life but how she was conceived and her childhood?

Elphaba's mother didn't remember what she did with someone because she was drugged.

"I remember once when a tinker with a funny accent gave me a draft of some heady brew from a green glass bottle." - Melena Thropp

She didn't want her first born:

"And now I am reduced to company I don't even want, my own squirming thorny little girl..." - Melena Thropp

She's regularly contemplates and suggests killing her:

"Shall we go walk by the edge of the lake today and maybe you’ll drown?" “Maybe we’ll go out in a boat and tip over.”

When shes talking to Nanny she says they can simply drown the newborn.

Idk. Just gives Evanora vibes.

You were born evil. I ought to have killed you the moment you left my body. - Evanora Harkness

Agatha pleading with her mother:

Please! Mother! No! Please, I can be good.

No, you cannot

And like sure. We don't have 10 seasons and a movie where we'd get Agatha’s whole canon backstory (not the comic version, this Agatha’s version cause we're not talking Atlantis, Salem, etc here). So we don't know what all she went through growing up. But we know it wasn't good.

I could see her shnockered off her ass eating corndogs talking to the author a little too much.

[pippin-katz]

you may or may not be the person who needs to know this, but you're the only person I can think of to share this with, and if I don't tell somebody, I might explode:

so there are some similarities btwn Merlin/Arthur and Alex/Henry, right?

and like

Alex : Merlin :: Henry : Arthur

right?

so isnt it weird the both Nick & Bradley James are Libras, while both Taylor & Colin Morgan are Capricorns? and both pairs have a three-year age gap? and while they share the same signs, the 90s babies/RWRB pairs have their birthdays at the end of the month before their 80s babies/BBCMerlin counterparts...

just so many weird coincidences, and I had to share it with *somebody*! thank you for listening/reading!

Dude I feel you on needing to tell someone something or you’ll explode; that’s my life lmfao

Now regarding what you’ve shared, that is really fucking weird! Those are some pretty specific details for them to share. I’m not a huge astrology person, but maybe there’s just something about that pairing that works? Especially when they’re close in age?

Post Writing Note: This spiraled so far out of my hands that it smashed my plans for the day. I've been writing this since 9:30AM and I'm now finishing at 4:20PM. You have been warned.

Taylor and Nicholas

What’s crazy is that Colin and Bradley’s dynamic off screen is similar to Nick and Taylor’s.

While Alex is a loud and outgoing character, Matthew mentioned in an interview that Taylor is actually on the quieter/more reserved side most of the time. I was a bit surprised, but if you pay close attention, he actually does seem like he’s quieter than Nicholas. It's more noticeable in the draw-off video and their little promos with the teapot. He's definitely enthusiastic, but in a different way than Nick, who acts like he just took a shot of concentrated caffeine.

But you can also see it in the friendship quiz if you look for it. It's there in the way that Nick is more... I'm not sure how to describe it- maybe scatterbrained? Or ditsy? I don't mean that as an insult by the way.

It's like he has pent-up energy and wants to be entertaining for the camera, so he initiates most of the jokes and sarcasm, while Taylor is kind of just chilling. He definitely makes some jokes, but the ratio between which of them is the first to say something that starts a joke is heavily skewed towards Nicholas. He also randomly forgets what's going on, and goes off on tangents where he bounces from one thing to the next.

I looked and looked for GIFs, but I couldn't find some of the moments I'm talking about, so I'll just write them out:

Nicholas gives Taylor 10 points, and he's like "wait, wait, did I get it right?" and Nick's like "yeah" before immediately remembering that he got it wrong even though they had just had the conversation

Nicholas gets a question right and he says "point for Taylor" and Taylor is like "no, for you" and Nick corrects himself with "point for Nick", then jokes and points between them like "you're Taylor, I'm Nick, okay, got it"

Taylor asks the bonus question about the major sporting event in Indiana, and Nicholas starts randomly listing names, like "the Big Game, the Big Football Game, the Bowl, the Indiana Bowl, the Great State Champion Lacrosse Game of Indiana" instead of stopping to think or letting Taylor give him the hint you can see he's been waiting to say between laughs

Nicholas randomly starts being sarcastic or hyperbolizing his behavior when talking: - "Taylor is the one American person who knows where London is on a map." - "I believe you competed in [the Cooper's Hill Annual Cheese Race] yourself, didn't you?" - "I'll give him a point." Taylor laughs because it took a couple tries to get the right answer. "The points, they are bountiful and plenty. We don't have to be stingy with them."

Nicholas describing a corndog by holding an invisible "weird thing that goes on a stick" and pretending to eat it while going "nhgnhgnhgnhg" as he spins it.

He also reacts more to Taylor getting questions wrong than Taylor reacts to him getting questions wrong. There's the whole bit about the "chip butty" and "English fry-up" that leaves Nicholas acting all annoyed, whereas Taylor sort of just starts immediately helping him with hints when he gets something wrong.

Basically, Nicholas probably has some form of ADHD and it seems to manifest as hyperactivity. Nicholas being so hyper and enthusiastic is ironic considering how quiet and calm Henry is as a character. It's such a drastic contrast between them.

Taylor is much more chill. He's definitely hyper around Nick, but there is a difference in them. Notice how Taylor just watches Nick do his silly intro, but Nicholas starts making movements with his hands and expressions during Taylor's. Also Taylor was talking completely normally until then, when he ended up doing the point at the end.

Similarly, Nick is the one who starts chanting USA, and Taylor joins in. We obviously see the difference when they each summarize the film. Nick is basically a hamster in a ball speeding across a room with how he tells it, and Taylor simplifies it a ton and delivers it monotone; yes, it's a joke, but it still highlights the contrast.

Bradley & Colin

I'm using past tense with Bradley and Colin because we only have videos of them from over a decade ago, so they've definitely changed since then.

The thing is, Colin was funny and vocal, but there were a lot of times where he got quiet, and he always felt more reserved, in the sense of there being more to him than what he's showing. He seemed to have a lot of layers to him that you didn't get to see unless you actually got close to him, if that makes sense.

I wouldn't call him quiet, but like in the video diaries and interviews of him and Bradley, he always seemed much calmer than him.

Colin was always very funny, but he was also self conscious. During one of the behind the scenes quest videos, Bradley talked about how he and Colin would create songs together, but whenever he wanted to show someone, Colin was dead silent. Bradley actually turned to him as was like, "What, is it stage fright?" and Colin is like, "I don't know what you're talking about." in a way that clearly shows he's deflecting the question because he's nervous or embarrassed. Bradley pointed and was like, "And that right there is a perfect example of what I mean".

Merlin is very bright and outgoing (at least before he develops depression in later seasons 🥲). He basically had no shame about most things. When he met Gwen while in the stocks and covered in food, he acts completely normally, like there's nothing weird about it. Obviously, this boy waltzed into Camelot and called the fucking prince a prat to his face. He was really bold and openhearted. Colin always felt more closed off, even though he wasn't always quiet.

What's crazy is that Arthur is much more refined and serious than Bradley. It's not to say Arthur is never silly or unserious, because he is, but his default mode is very composed because he's a prince and later a king. Bradley was like a fucking hurricane behind the scenes. He was know for driving everyone a little crazy because he was so hyper. He got his video camera taken away cause he was apparently being too annoying to the rest of the cast and crew.

Wrap-Up

Here's similarities I thought of in a rapid fire list, including what you said and what I covered:

The brunettes are both the "quieter" or "calmer" of the two.

The blonds both play a prince.

The brunettes both play a character who came from a place of humble beginnings.

The brunettes' characters are both usually the one to start the insults/banter.

The blonds are the more vocal of the two about their affections and admiration for the other.

The blonds are both Libras.

The brunettes are both Capricorns.

The age gap is the same for both pairs: 3 years.

I am going to make an entire post dedicated to the similarities between Bradley, Colin, and Merthur, and Taylor, Nicholas, and FirstPrince, because I have more, but it was getting more into the characters' so I'll save those for later.

What was that you were saying about needing to tell someone something or you would explode again? Nah, not me, could never have that problem. I'm so normal about this.

Thank you for sharing, I have no idea what to do with this information, but I am glad I have it. It will now haunt me 😂

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[alrightbuckaroo]

19 for the prompt list <3

19. ‘it made me think of you.’

Did NOT expect this to be a little over 900 words, but I hope you enjoy it all the same <3

--

First Responder's Fair is home to many things; double fried foods, rigged carny games and at the moment, a very confused TK Strand.

"Wait," TK sucks his teeth, to which Nancy grimaces at. "You mean to tell me the sweet tea down here is actually," TK pauses. "Well, sweet?"

Nancy and Tommy share a look across the picnic table while TK takes another hearty sip. Nancy begs the question she didn't think she'd ever have to ask. "What made you think sweet tea wasn't sweet?"

"It never was up north, tasted more like dish water than anything."

Tommy, then, begs the question she didn't think she'd ever have to ask. "TK, why do you know what dish water tastes like?"

"My friend Cash used to work at the Sally's Diner back when we were in high school, bet me ten dollars that I wouldn't drink from the dish sink from the after lunch rush. He thought I couldn't, or more so, wouldn't do it." TK smiles smugly. "Guess who left Sally's that day ten dollars richer."

"And was out sick from school the following three days because he got food poisoning." Owen adds as he sits down, joining them at the table. His hands full with two corndogs and a frozen lemonade. "Had to rush him to the ER because he kept complaining about stomach pains."

"So I guess it wasn't a question of couldn't or wouldn't, but more of a shouldn't." Tommy jokes, breaking off a piece of her funnel cake.

"Nice to know that you taking up residence in the ER isn't just a Texas thing." Nancy rallies and TK feels like he's been attacked by all fronts.

"My newfound stomach of steel would argue it was worth it."

"It wasn't." Owen is quick to interject.

"Anyways," TK goes to change the subject. He points at the corndogs in Owen's hand. "Dad, corndogs, where?"

Owen tells him where the booth is and TK makes it his mission to scout it out. He stands up, and treks his way over. He sees both Isabella and Evie standing in line for cotton candy, alone. His eyebrows furrow when he doesn't see Carlos anywhere.

Last he saw them, Carlos was taking them to the ring toss in hopes of coming home with a new pet goldfish. For the girls, not TK, which Carlos made absolutely clear.

"Hey girls, where's Carlos?"

"Milk bottles." They both say at the same time. TK thanks them, and walks around until he finds the milk bottles. He sees Carlos before Carlos can see him. Even from a distance, he can see Carlos is uncharacteristically sweaty and his curls have started to break free.

As he walks up, he watches Carlos throw a baseball and raise his arms in cheer before he winces and lowers his right arm.

"Babe," TK says as he gets closer. Now that he's closer to Carlos, he can see the beads of sweat dripping down his face and the ring of it around the neckline of his shirt. TK's confused, it's hot out, as expected, it is Texas, after all; but it's not that hot. "What's going on?"

Carlos starts when he realizes TK is next to him. He was so focused on the pyramid of milk bottles in front of him. "Oh no," Carlos responds. "You weren't supposed to see, it was supposed to be a surprise."

"Here you are, sir." A man in a red and white striped shirt hands Carlos a stuffed orange lizard. Carlos goes to reach for it with his right hand but changes to his left hand.

"And this is for you." Carlos holds out the stuffed animal to TK who stares at it, slightly perplexed, slightly in awe and even more slightly in love.

TK reaches for it, and Carlos smiles at him like he's worth every curl unfurled. "Babe," He grabs Carlos' left hand, careful not to irritate the right one. He pulls them aside, out of the walk way and earshot of the carny. "Did you throw out your right arm trying to win me a stuff lizard?"

"It made me think of you," Carlos affirms, wiping at his face on his shirt sleeve. "I couldn't not get it. Who knew it would be level to training day for the academy." He rotates his arm, trying to gauge the pain.

"Well, this just means I get to give a slow, sensual massage later tonight." TK whispers into his ear.

"TK," Carlos smirks. He nods to the ring toss they're standing next to. "Not in front of the gold fish."

TK stares at the stuffed animal in his hands. It's eyes are a little too close together, and it's smile is a little crooked, but he loves it all the same. That said, TK begs the question he never thought he'd have to ask. "Babe, how much did you spend on this little guy?"

Carlos is silent, trying to think of the best answer. The last thing he wants to do is tell TK he spent close to ten dollars worth of quarters on a stuffed toy that probably cause ten cents to make. "Baby, you know my love for you is priceless."

TK rolls his eyes, but his smile really gives him away. "You're so cheesy."

Carlos grabs TK's hand again; he suddenly finds himself having a real hankering for corndogs. "You love it."

TK laughs, "Not really," He pulls Carlos is for a kiss that tastes like sugary sweet tea. "But I love you."

send me a soft fic prompt!

[apomaro-mellow]

S1E08: Dear Max

S1E07

Steve looked unimpressively at how they’d spread out over his living room. “How many times have I said, I’m not playing your dork game?”

“We’re not here for you”, Dustin said.

Steve was about to question that when he saw El get comfortable next to Mike and take out a paper with a character drawn on it.

“No….”

Eddie grinned. “Ohhh the betrayal! Your own flesh and blood goes against you!”

“Please tell me you’re still sane?”, Steve pointed the question to Max, who was lounging in what was usually Jim’s chair, magazine in hand.

“I’m here to make fun of them.”

“Thank god”, Steve put a hand to his forehead.

“Still room for one more though”, Eddie offered.

“I’ll pass. I’ve got plans”, Steve said.

“No you don’t”, El said. “You said Robin was visiting relatives this weekend.”

“I’ve got friends other than Robin!”

“Such as?”, Mike asked.

“....Jonathan.”

“Then you can join him in the kitchen”, Will said. “He’s making us snacks.”

Max patted the armrest next to her, the only seat left, as Steve sighed and resigned himself to a Saturday spent doing this.

—----------------------------

“Why are you dragging me to the rodeo?”, Eddie questioned as Dustin and Lucas tried pulling him from his trailer home.

“You’ll see when you get there”, Dustin said.

“I like westerns as much as the next guy, and a dude in boots as much as the guy after that but-”

“Dude! Just get in the van and drive!”, Lucas shoved him the rest of the way.

They got to the rodeo that had rolled into town the day before, a crowd of cowboy hats, jeans, and huge belt buckles greeting them when they got to the fairgrounds. Dustin and Lucas talked amongst themselves, figuring out which way to go before Will and Mike found them. With the combined strength of all four, they guided Eddie to a corndog booth that sat between the lemonade stand and one that sold deep-fried oreos. And standing there, handing out meat on a stick, was Steve Harrington.

Robin was there too. But it wasn’t her legs in jeans that Eddie was interested in. He didn’t even know what it was about it that got him going. He’d seen Steve in jeans before. But apparently the combo with the hat and deep blue button up did it for him. He was pretty sure if Steve walked out, he’d be in boots too.

His hearing went in and out but when Dustin nudged him, he figured he was supposed to be making fun of the new job and the new get up that the unlikely pair of Buckley and Harrington had.

Eddie cleared his throat and walked up to the counter. “You two seem to have the worst luck with jobs.”

“You gonna order something Munson, or just stare?”, Steve asked, hands on the counter.

Eddie looked at the menu, which had about five things on it. “What, no deep fried butter?”

“Two booths down”, Steve jabbed a thumb in the direction. 

“Steve, stop flirting and help me with these boxes”, Robin called.

It was just as well because Eddie was then dragged away to something else by the boys. He counted two heads missing from their usual group though.

“Where’s El and Max?”

“Max really didn’t wanna come for some reason”, Lucas said. “But El wanted to see the horses, so they’re at the pony rides.”

They ended up meeting all up at the arena set up for the competitions. Eddie was an appreciator of the culture and the feats of athleticism, even though he appreciated it for reasons different from the others. It wasn’t hard to imagine Steve tossing a lasso around and hogtying something down.

“Your brother got any talent for this kind of stuff?”, Eddie asked El.

“Steve? No way”, El giggled.

“He could”, Dustin said in Steve’s defense. “He’s pretty good at most sports.”

Then the announcer presented the next sport. One that Eddie had actually been waiting for. Because what was more fun than seeing guys try and stay on a bucking horse and then seeing how far they flew?

Of course there were quite a few good ones, these guys trained for it. But then the person on the mic announced the next competitor and nearly all of their jaws dropped.

“Give it up for Billy Hargrove!”

“He’s pretty good”, El said as she watched him keep his hold on the horse. “...What? Why isn’t anybody saying anything? Is he not good?”

“This is why you didn’t wanna come”, Lucas said to Max.

“Yeah, and you guys brought me anyway”, she crossed her arms.

“How were we supposed to know?! You never told us!”, Mike shouted.

“Hargrove’s in the rodeo, whoda thunk?”, Eddie said.

“Who is Billy Hargrove? Max? Where are you going?”, El called out as Max stomped off.

“Billy is Max’s stepbrother”, Dustin explained. “He left before you guys moved to town.”

“And he’s an asshole”, Will added context.

“He threatened all of us a bunch of times just for being friends with Max”, Lucas said. “But then one day he just disappeared. Max never told us where he went.”

“Gonna be honest, I kinda just assumed Mayfield ended him”, Eddie said.

They all went in search of Max, splitting up to find her. Eventually, Eddie went back to the corndog booth to see if either Robin or Steve had seen her, only to see Hargrove’s back leaning over the counter, chatting up Steve. His stomach dropped. Steeling his nerves, he walked up and tapped Billy’s shoulder.

“Pretty sure the rodeo clowns are about to go on and the show can’t start without its star.”

Steve raised a brow at Eddie’s sudden rudeness, but didn’t say anything just yet.

“Munson, as I live and breathe. They haven’t run you outta town yet?”

“Oh I think they’re saving the pitchforks for someone else”, Eddie said.

“Look, I’m just trying to find Max, have you seen her? I saw her in the audience, so I know she’s here.”

“You know Max?”, Steve asked.

Billy turned back to Steve, smile cordial. “She’s my stepsister. And it sounds like you know her too, so she’s probably been around this way, right?”

“Are you here to mess with Max?”, Lucas accused, arriving with the rest of them.

Billy gave pause, looking at each of them in turn, seeming to consider something before speaking again. “I just wanna talk to her. It’s been a while and I think I’m owed that at least.”

“You want to talk!?”, Max shouted, shooting up from behind the counter.

Robin appeared behind her, hand on her shoulder. She’d been around for Billy’s reign of terror, though she hadn’t known Max and the other kids yet. He’d made quite the name for himself at school. Steve was getting a better idea of the situation brewing and crossed his arms.

“I sent you a letter”, Max said. “And you never responded. So what the hell do you have to say to me?”

Billy looked around. “Can we talk in private?”

There was more than one ‘no’ and that was enough to get people staring. There was the potential of a small crowd forming to watch the spectacle. Billy huffed, bristling a little.

“Fine”, he bit out, then stalked off.

There was a collective sigh of relief and Steve put a hand to Max’s shoulder. He didn’t need to know the details to know that had been a tense situation. That evening, the group hung out at the Hopper home. Steve and El didn’t ask any questions. And Max revealed nothing. They didn’t go to the rodeo after that, besides Steve and Robin, who had to finish up their stint while it was still in town.

On the last day, Billy came up to their booth and put an envelope on the counter. “Please, can you make sure Max gets this? Tell her I’m sorry about not replying, but I couldn’t.”

“You think I’ll actually give it to her?”, Steve asked, having half a mind to rip it up.

“She trusts you. That’s enough for me.” Billy tipped his hat and then left without another word.

Steve looked down at the letter, wishing he had more info to make a better decision, but in the end gave it to Max. She could decide for herself.

He handed it to her in the middle of a hangout when they were chilling in the backyard and she immediately went up into El’s room with her. Feeling a bit useless, Steve went into the garage to work on his car. Wanting to ease the tension, Dustin brought up a question he’d had for a few days.

“I feel like Eddie should’ve laughed at the cowboy get up more when he saw Steve. Did he seem distracted to you?”

Mike and Lucas shared a look, wondering if now was a good time to share what they knew.

“Remember the baseball game?”, Lucas started.

Mike put his hands together. “I found this diary in the dugout and…”

Episode 9

[holylulusworld]

Beloved corn dog

Summary: Dean finds something delicious.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x GN!Reader

Warnings: language, fun, crack, Dean loves food

A/N: Inspired by this post: Corn dog

“Damn, look at you sweetheart. You are the prettiest thing I ever laid eyes on,” Dean purrs inside the motel room. “What I would give to have you every day.”

You snicker as the hunter keeps on seducing whoever he has brought to his room tonight.

You’re usually not the nosy kind of person but hearing Dean made you curious. While you press your ear to the door, the hunter continues.

“What if I do it slow, huh? Would you like that, pretty thing?”

You grin. Dean is a master at seducing people. Men and women fall for him wherever he goes. He doesn’t even need to put much effort into getting someone’s attention.

“Let me lick you all over.”

Pressing one hand over your mouth you try to suppress a giggle. You can’t believe Dean just said that.

“Hmm…you like that, don’t cha?” He purrs, and then you hear him groan deeply. “Fuck, you taste so good. Can I have more?”

Your eyes grow wide at the noises Dean makes. He slurps, groans, and smacks his lips together. “Fuck, I can’t do it slow. I have to have you right now.”

“Oh my god,” you curse yourself for not stopping your tongue before it’s too late.

Dean opens the door, a gun aimed at your head while the other holds something you cannot identify.

“Y/N?” Dean wonders why you stand in front of his room, looking like he caught you with your hand in the cookie jar. “Something wrong?”

“Uh-sorry,” you clear your throat. “I wanted to ask if you want to share the food I bought.” You lift the big brown paper bag filled with greasy food. “I didn’t want to disturb you and…uh…whoever is with you.”

He furrows his brows. “There is no one here but me, Y/N,” Dean says. He opens his door wider to let you have a look inside.

“But you were talking to someone. I heard you…I mean…” you stammer nervously. “You said you want to lick them all over and stuff. Don’t lie to me!”

“I’m not lying,” he grins. “I was talking to this.” He lifts his hand, waving it in front of your face to show you what he’s holding. “See, that’s my newest discovery. I’m a food enthusiast and want to try all the food I can find on my travels.”

“What the fuck is that?” You wrap your hand around his wrist to get a better look at the food in his hand. “Are these French fries on a stick?”

“No, no,” he excitedly says. “That’s a French fry crusted corndog.”

“A what?” You blink a few times. “That doesn’t look very healthy Dean.”

“You have to try it, Y/N,” he pushes the monstrosity in your hand. “I got three more. Two for me, and one for Sammy.”

“Uh…”

“Try it,” Dean nods to encourage you. “It’s a corn dog, with cheese and French fries. I had to buy it.”

“French fries on a corn dog,” you wrinkle your nose. “Where did you get it?”

“There was this small stall at the farmer's market. A cute girl was selling it. She said it’s Korean street food, and that people love it.” Dean licks his lips. “Go ahead, take a bite. It won’t bite.” He chuckles at his rhyme. “I’ll have one of the others.”

“Okay. If I die because of this thing, I’ll haunt you, Winchester,” you point the corn dog at Dean. “Now, let’s see…”

Dean watches you nibble at the fries at first. You hum, moan, and then you start to feast on the corn dog. “That’s so good,” you chew loudly, almost choking on the food. “So…so good.”

“I told you so,” Dean takes a large bite of his corn dog. “Do you want to join my food club?”

“If I get to eat food like this, I’m all in,” you give Dean a wink. “Let me just finish this one off. We can try to find the perfect dessert after I’m done…”

Tags in reblog.

[souji-upseta]

yo my name is nyx, it's my birthday today (2/3). my birthdays have sucked SHIT the past few years for reasons that are depressing—

—cringe is also dead, i killed her myself, and i'm still grieving her loss. its been very hard for me—

—since i am the protagonist of Me and can do st abt this, this year i turn 31, and i will at some point turn 31.4, with all of this in mind, what do i want for my birthday? i'll tell you:

to talk about homestuck.

i'll do that, anyways, but you'd be doing me a gift by giving me a prompt to follow, and to feel slightly more validated in my inability to shut up about my hyperfixation.

so i'm asking YOU to talk about homestuck with me.

talk to me abt homestuck? ask me my headcanons. my thoughts. my relationship to the work. tell me yours. expect nothing that's profound, and plenty that's stupid.

i'm even turning anon on, for the first time in 6 fucking years. where making this happen.

this never expires btw. today is my birthday, but, for story purposes, let's say that it's still my birthday after it isn't, bc i will still want and, if i am honest, NEED you to talk to me about homestuck for years onward. i'm very metatextual like that.

i get the feeling it's going to be a long day.

>Nyx: Be the other guy.

You are now the other guy! What will you do?

>Web Tumblr User: Inbox Tumblr user souji-upseta?

>Mobile App Tumblr User: Do that, but hyperlink is unavailable?

=(n×∞)>

FOURTH WALL BREAK!

you are now nyx again, and i am now me, and i need to exposit some lore.

as in, some starting points to get u going, since "homestuck" is a very broad subject:

•i'm a massive massive slut for the epilogues and post canon content/hsbc. pesterquest is too good for this gay earth.

•dirk is my fav, ALL of the dirks, all of them, and it isn't even close. my fav relationship is the canon platonic/familial one between dirk and dave. i fucking love the striders. dave is my 1.5th fav.

•im more invested in dave's relationship to corndogs (and corn dogs) than you even know.

•mspa reader is my second fav after the striders, bc they are a good thembo friendsimp and also bc they are me and they are You. i might be biased. i love You. i love me. i love us. we're fucking gr8.

•im pretty canon-compliant, so my fav ship is dirkjake as exes (for now), and my fav ship as not-exes is panquadrant (canon) davekat.

i'm also really fascinated by rosemary and would welcome more opportunities to learn abt and talk about them but if homestuck makes a statement about anything it's to let the women and the sapphic characters tell their story (thats a joke, talk to me abt them too)

•june eg(g)bert real.

•i'm fascinated by classpects and the applications of paradox space's classpecting and extended zodiac system when applied to real life, since our only experience of those fictional systems is in linear dimensions of spacetime, and our only experience of astrology is as a species that in-universe cannot experience the sign caste system the same way the fictional aliens that created our species in their own image do. skaia knows, but we sure as fuck don't.

•i'm a former prince of heart (2012-2020) and a current knight of space, and my aspect is light. that is a thing that actually makes perfect sense for the reasons i just said.

don't ask me about vriska serket or (vriska) serket. not bc i'm not willing to discuss dark or problematic characters (hello, lanque bombyx) but bc:

for one, she can speak for her damn self, and has, tyvm.

for two, talking at length about a problematic character in any positive capacity marks you as an enemy of the state if that character is a woman, and being an enemy of the state is way too much fucking pressure for me for reasons i already explained as soon as i told you i'm a knignt of space. i wouldnt make a very good enemy of the state. it'd be an unhealthy blackrom relationship to the detriment of us all.

for three, i can just give you all my opinions/headcanons on vriska that matter:

•JOHN HUGGING VRISKA IN HSBC YESSSSSSSSSS

•she's greasy and gross and unkept af but not unclean or unsanitary, like, she bathes, she smells fine, she changes her clothes, but she's got the troll crust punk aesthetic absolutely on LOCK. she doesn't comb her hair.

•it would have been funny if she did even more bad things

•aradia did nothing wrong. vriska did but the meme is funny even if someone needs to take that meme out back and shoot it for the good of humanity.

•she should beat up ultimate dirk, and my reasoning for that is bc that would, also, be really fucking funny if she did

•john has both punched her in the face and hugged her, and now that john has punched aranea in the face, all that's left is for june—i assume she will have come out of her egg(bert) by then—to hug aranea and complete the circle of stupidity.

•she is trans yeah but she doesn't wanna get into it, she doesn't have to, and neither do i.

•vrisrezi most important relationship in homestuck.

there. you already got me to talk about vriska at length, and you didn't have to try. moot issue.