☆ decadence divine [ act I ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, neuvillette, furina
{☆} notes yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader
{☆} warnings yandere content, stalking (implied), kidnapping (implied)
{☆} word count 2.3k
ARLECCHINO
Arlecchino was wont to leave social gatherings to her subordinates– the private meetings were where she thrived. It was so much easier to lure your prey into a trap when you didn't have prying eyes and ears waiting for the barest hint of blackmail.
She clicked her tongue in distaste, her eyes narrowing beneath the mask of the fox as she set down her cup sharply. It was difficult as it was to draw them from the safety of their bubble– at the slightest hint of danger, her quarry would run. A chase would be fun, but she couldn't risk getting caught here. The political nightmare it would cause..it already gave her a headache. She had to be discreet.
They weren't making it easy, however.
Which is why she never liked crowds. But this chance didn't come by every day. She wasn't going to simply let it pass by because of a little danger. She'd have them eventually, it was just a matter of how. There were already numerous of her own lingering in the crowds, hidden beneath the masks that every patron bore. It was difficult to stand out amongst the flurry of masked patrons constantly shifting around the room, moving from one conversation to another, gliding from one dance partner to another.
Her heeled boots clicked sharply against the tile as she stalked through the crowds, keeping a wide berth yet always lingering nearby– she was sure they could feel the vague sense of being watched, but with the huge crowds..her lips quirked into a grin with the barest flash of teeth. There were a great many ways to break them in– she'd spent a great amount of time and mora to get anything she could for blackmail, if she so wished. She had the backing of the Fatui as well if she played her cards right– it wouldn't be difficult to convince them that they were a valuable target, and none of them would dare to question just what she did with them afterwards.
Perhaps a bit of play, first. Test the waters. She was familiar with playing the polite gentleman, despite her status as a Fatui Harbinger. Stage something for her to intervene, perhaps, to look the hero. The look of shock when she revealed the wolf beneath the wool..she could see it already. That wide, doe-eyed look as they realized the monster they've followed blindly like a lost lamb..she was beginning to see the appeal.
All it took was a few hushed words and subtle signals before the tiles started to fall in place, her hand gliding along their lower back as she leaned over their shoulder with a thin, predatory smile. She'd have to organize for the agent to be released later, her eyes following as the Gardes dragged him out of the room in a flurry of curses, but for now..she tilted her head to peer down at them, polite and almost apologetic.
"You aren't too startled, are you? Now now, there's no need to look so..scared, poor thing. I won't let another lay a hand on you," She cooed in a sickly sweet tone, the husky rasp of her voice whispered in their ear like dripping honey. "You have my word. Now, why don't we get you some fresh air? Come. Allow me to escort you."
Her lips pulled into a jagged grin at the relief in their eyes– the blind lamb following the shepherd as it led them into it's maw. Just a little longer, and she could finally have her own caged bird– a pretty thing to admire, to protect, to possess.
Something no one else would ever touch again. Something hers.
NEUVILLETTE
Neuvillette was not one for parties. The intricacies and delicate handling of public relations he oft left in the capable hands of Furina, rather then himself. It was only at her behest he even attended at all, but he still felt rather..out of place amongst the bodies constantly shifting through the ballroom like a constant rush of water from one end to the other, no rhyme nor reason to the flow. The only thing that kept him afloat among the tides was the mask of the deer obscuring his face– even if it was exceedingly difficult to truly hide himself among the crowds, most passed over him without second thought.
Though he had to be honest with himself, even if he couldn't bring himself to admit it to Furina despite her insistence that his attendance was mandatory. He had his own reasons for coming– selfishness that left a sour taste in his mouth. It was purely by chance he'd seen the briefest glimpse of them prior, and he..was intrigued, that was all.
He refused to let his thoughts linger on the sleepless nights he spent prying every piece of information he could from loose tongues and obscure documents, every moment he managed to squeeze in between trials spent lingering in their most favored locations– cafes, stores, restaurants, the like.
Now a masquerade.
He tried not to let the guilt gnaw at his conscious, but it lingered like an age old scar that still ached.
So he relegated himself to simply residing in the further corner, nursing a goblet of water like a fine wine, trying not to let his eyes stray to the brief glimpses of them through the ever moving bodies filling the center of the room, dancing like puppets in music boxes.
Still, his hand twitched in an instinctual desire– a need to clasp his hand in their own, to touch his lips upon their knuckles, to indulge in a moment of reprieve and unshackle himself from the mantle that bears heavy upon his shoulders. He seeks reverence, worship, but not of himself– but towards the one who had drawn the eye of the dragon amongst the waves of humans he'd seen come and go for a great many years.
No one could compare, he is certain. None have left him as breathless, as hopelessly infatuated, as the one who made him wish only to kneel at their feet in senseless reverence until he could no longer speak. A hopeless man, indeed, if he has never even truly met them.
Instead he's spent his time prying into their life from the shadows. Caution, or simple cowardice?
He dares not ponder.
Yet in his ceaseless pondering he'd blocked out the world without, failing to notice the figure stepping up beside him until their hand brushed against his elbow– just the briefest touch, but it had his pupils narrowing and his entire body tensing like a coiled spring. That touch..bliss. It left him breathless and lightheaded as he tilted his head to regard them, his lips parting in a shaky sigh. They are as beautiful as he remembers– even with their face obscured beneath the mask, he would never forget them.
"Greetings, Monsieur– I hope I didn't frighten you too much." Their laugh made him feel rather faint, just the sound of their voice making his hand tighten around his cane. "..Not at all. I was simply lost in thought." He admitted apologetically, trying to reign in the urge to cup their face between his palms. A dangerous thought. He didn't want to scare them off when they'd provided him a priceless opportunity.
"My apologies, you must have needed something. It was rude of me to have been so absorbed in my thoughts to have ignored you." He continued, gently turning to set his goblet down– offer them his full attention, be a gentleman. The words rang in his skull like a ceaseless alarm, blaring and rattling his thoughts as he gently took their hand in his own. It was a split second decision– an indulgence, but he could simply not help himself. Even with his gloves between them, he felt like he was going to lose his composure just from such a brief touch..
He truly was a hopeless man before an altar, praying for a salvation he intends to bury deep beneath the waves– to keep it hidden in the darkness of the depths that only he can reach. A selfish man, he must be, to even think of it, but it is an itch that he cannot scratch. A need that must be satisfied. He cannot allow any hands but his own to tend to them, to know what it feels to touch them, to hear their voice and see their eyes as he prays– prays like a man starved, devotion born of desperation.
"I hope I did not make you wait too long." He smiles, soft and affectionate, like the bloom of spring beneath the winters chill– yet just as deadly, only masked by the sweet fragrance of flowers.
He had waited too long.
No longer.
FURINA
Furina was right at home amongst the crowds– where the masks obscured the identities of most, it was impossible to not recognize the charming banter of the Hydro Archon beneath the mask of the lamb as she graced the masquerade with her presence, speaking with a silver tongue to any who would listen. A truly enthralled audience fitting for the grandest of performers in Fontaine.
But her eyes lingered not on the people who's praise dripped from their lips like honey– yet so very bitter upon her tongue. Even the mask obscuring her expression did little to hide the longing that had her visibly deflating like a popped balloon. She hated all the eyes on her, really– it was suffocating. She was only putting on a show in the foolish hope that they'd finally pay attention to her. Just her luck, she supposes, that instead she's had to throw herself straight into the role of Archon without a pay off..
They hadn't even spared her a glance! It would be infuriating if not for the fact she couldn't even keep her composure just seeing them across the room. They didn't even have to look at her and she could feel the heat rush to her ears as she forced another smile at the crowd gathered around her. It was unfair how easily they could fluster her without even knowing it– her heart was thumping so hard against her ribcage she felt like it might burst.
Her only solace was the fact none of the patrons seemed to realize she'd clocked out of the conversation, her thoughts and eyes lingering on the distant figure– what a lovestruck fool she makes..it was a chance encounter she'd seen them during one of her outings. That was all it took to enthrall her, evidentially, try as she might to have ignore it for months.
They never left her mind for longer then a day, in the end, and she had to face the fact they had managed to enrapture her so deeply she felt like a newborn lamb learning to walk whenever she so much as thought of them. What an embarrassment! She..she was the Archon, she had a reputation to maintain, she couldn't be seen fawning over a human.
But oh, she still longed for it, beneath the veneer of a God. She'd watched them more times then she'd admit even to herself, wishing to find herself in place of those who'd hands were cradled so casually in their own– to hear their voice, their laughter, as often as she pleased..like a fine delicacy she so badly wished to taste, yet so far from her reach.
Would they think her pathetic for her infatuation? She pursed her lips at the thought, trying to bury the sour mood beneath her faux image of the Archon. Yet it lingered, and with only the quietest of excuses, she slipped into the crowd like a ghost– she needed to leave before she did something..stupid. Neuvillette would surely have a few choice words with her if she did, and she was inclined to avoid such a fate.
She..she just needed a moment to collect herself was all. That was it. She could go back to playing Archon for a little longer, she just needed a moment to herself. At the very least, the balcony had been regarded as off limits so late into the party– which gave her an opportunity to slip out of the public view for the briefest of moments. A welcome reprieve– she was starting to feel suffocated amongst the crowds.
Perhaps on instinct, she reached for the mask, lifting ever so slightly away..only to let out a startled yelp at the touch of a hand on her shoulder, the mask slipping back into place far too easily. It made her lightheaded, even now, but she dared not to dwell on it.
But when she turned sharply on her heel to chew out the person who'd followed her and had the gall to scare her..oh, she was done for, her ears flush with heat. The brief glimpse of their eyes beneath the mask, the curl of their lips as they smiled– her heart stuttered in her chest, and she was certain it had stopped all together when they clasped her hand.
"Y–you.." She wanted to be angry, to brush them off and leave with her rationality in tact, but the warmth of their hands on her skin rendered her speechless. She was no better then a fish on land, struggling to fill her lungs with air as she drew in a shaky breath. "Ahem, you caught me off guard. That's all. Surely you do not make it a habit to sneak up on people?" She huffed in indignation, trying to mask the fluster that threatened to break through her carefully crafted facade.
Ah, what a cruel twist of fate..she'd slipped away to escape their allure, but here they were, dragging her back into their orbit without even knowing how deep her infatuation ran. They were alone, too..it was a chance she wasn't sure she'd ever get again.
Maybe, just this once, she could do something for herself rather then everyone else.
She buried her guilt, the fear– buried it beneath the need to be seen.
"But if you want to make it up to me.."
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boss' daughter I ln4
pairing: lando norris x brown!daughter reader
summary: lando is down bad for zak brown's daughter but shes a little hard to get
notes: I know this isn't pt 3 of my other mini series BUT i thought of this idea and had to do it immediately hehe, I really like this one
masterlist
y/nbrown
liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 21,492 others
y/nbrown nyc living
view all comments
user i wanna see her at races shes so cute😭🫶
y/nbrown vegas! ill be there🤭
liked by landonorris
user help why's lando in his boss' daughter's likes
landonorris 🤩
user norizzzzz
user is this him shooting his shot AHAHHA
user NO LANDO SHES MINE
user IT GIRL
user landooo👀
y/bff/n pretty girl
y/nbrown love u babes
posted september 2023
y/nbrown
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 19,384 others
y/nbrown college student by day, dj by night😝
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y/bff/n ur so unserious babe
y/nbrown i ate, the people loved me
landonorris as a retired dj maybe you can give me some inspiration to start again
user LANDO???
user he's crushing so hard OMFFFF
user zak brown reading this: 🤨🤨
zbrownceo dont have too much fun!
y/nbrown 🫣
user such a dad reply lol
user y/n brown slaying once again
user so excited to see you back in the paddock soon🫶
liked by y/nbrown
danielricciardo you're perfect for him
y/nbrown who???
posted october 2023
y/nbrown
liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 30,341 others
y/nbrown vegas babyyy
tagged zbrownceo, danielricciardo, y/bff/n
view all comments
user gorgeous girl
danielricciardo finally reunited with my favorite brown
y/nbrown was too busy girlbossing sorry
danielricciardo what a shame, there's someone who's been waiting to meet you...
y/nbrown hm, i didn't meet anyone new🤷♀️
danielricciardo next race then
user is daniel hinting that lando didn't meet his crush sjsjkskks
user wait he hasn't EVEN MET HER?!?!
user im guessing not, shes been pictured with other drivers but never lando
user here for landos comments
landonorris maybe you should come to a race where I'm not crashing😅
user norizz strikes again
user its the fact that she never even replies and he's still trying HAHA
user hes fr out here risking his seat for her just not to respond back
mclaren 🧡
user shes finally back in the paddock!!!
user im surprised she doesn't go to more gp's, her dad's literally the ceo of mclaren😭
user i think she's mentioned shes very busy with uni so her schedule usually never aligns with the races
posted november 2023
y/nbrown
abu dhabi, UAE
liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 25,482 others
y/nbrown escaping cold new york weather
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user OMG shes gonna be at the gp again this weekend!!
user landos got one more chance to shoot his shot before the season ends😭
landonorris hope to see you at the paddock!
danielricciardo thanks for letting me borrow that $10 mil bro I owe you🤝
maxverstappen1 thanks for saving my cats out of that burning building, you're a true hero🤝
alex_albon thanks for paying off my whole family's debt mate🤝
carlossainz55 thanks for gifting me that mclaren, i love it mate🤝
user ALL THE DRIVERS IN HER COMMENTS IMDEAD
user his rizz was so bad they had to step in omg.
user and she still hasn't acknowledged lando AHAH
user a true girlboss, I love her
user i need to know what zak brown thinks off all of this😭
user next season of dts gonna be craZy
user everybodys focused on the comments and not at the fact that these lyrics sound a little sus...
posted november 2023
landonorris posted a story
dannyyyy🤠
y/n wyaaa
im in the mclaren garage rn
y/n
aren't you suppose to be in umm idk YOUR OWN GARAGE?
dannyyyy🤠
yeah but I need to do something real quick so come
y/n
does this have anything to do with lando?
dannyyyy🤠
maybe...
y/n
im sorry but he's exactly why im not in the garage rn
dannyyyy🤠
WHAT WHY
pls dont tell me I hyped him up just for you not be interested...
y/n
im not NOT interested
but he's my dad's driver danny
this can get messy so fast
and what if he doesn't approve
dannyyyy🤠
oh you americans and your dramatics
hes already talked to your dad dummy
y/n
wait really?
dannyyyy🤠
you really think he would PUBLICLY hit on his boss' daughter without asking first?
y/n
idk never really thought about it
dannyyyy🤠
JUST COME DOWN HERE YOU MUPPET
landonorris
liked by y/nbrown, danielricciardo and 830,391 others
landonorris didn't win the race, but i won her heart
tagged y/nbrown
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user FINALLY
y/nbrown cheeseball
liked by landonorris
user HE ACTUALLY GOT HER
danielricciardo youre welcome
y/nbrown you pushed me in front of him then ran away...not the best wingman
danielricciardo its not like landos rizz was gonna get you together🤷♂️
y/nbrown true
landonorris hey! I wasn't that bad...
y/nbrown whatever helps you sleep at night hun!
user y/n blink twice if you need help
y/nbrown blink blink
landonorris 😔
user obsessed with y/n bullying lando in the comments
user I know I love them already
zbrownceo better take good care of her lando
landonorris sir yes sir🫡
user we can no longer make norizz jokes. sigh.
notes: what did y'all think of this one? I loved making it🤸♀️
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don’t text and swing! // miles morales x reader
miles loves texting and he loves you, what could go wrong?
cute lil miles texting headcanons
sum short n simple
readers gender not rlly specified
ooc miles?? idfk how he would text so i tried my best 😭
requests r open!!
miles says mentirosa that jus means liar
⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰
🕷️ You’re never guaranteed a full on conversation with Miles because most the time he leaves you on open. He doesn’t do it on purpose, really. He just so happens to be a very busy man so trying to talk to him when he isn’t saving New York is pretty difficult.
9:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: Hey did u still one of my jackets
9:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: *steal idk how i got still
9:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: Anyways I cant find it anywhere and ik u have something to with it
10:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: I know ur not ignoring me rn…
10:01 pm [ you ]: oh wow of course im the first person you blame
10:01 pm [ you ]: also i dont have it ☝️
10:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: Who else would take my jackets??
10:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: This also isn’t the first time my jackets OR hoodies have gone missing
10:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: And somehow they always end up in your room
10:03 pm [ miles <3 ]: Suspicious right…🤨
10:06 pm [ you ]: oh shit by some magical force
10:06 pm [ you ]: your jacket managed to teleport to my bed!!
10:07 pm [ you ]: and somehow…IT FLEW ON ME?? AND NOW IM WEARING IT?
10:07 pm [ you ]: this is actually crazy…
10:15 pm [ you ]: wait miles where did you go
10:25 pm [ you ]: are you mad?
10:30 pm [ you ]: no way ur mad
10:40 pm [ you ]: MILES
10:42 pm [ you ]: HELLO
10:43 pm [ you ]: MILESSSS
10:56 pm [ you ]: oh wait mb you’re probably busy saving somebody
10:56 pm [ you ]: got a lil crazy there
10:57 pm [ you ]: ignore all that
1:00 am [ miles <3 ]: I KNEW IT
1:00 am [ miles <3 ]: It’s okay i like you a little deranged 😩
1:03 am [ you ]: why are you texting me at one in the morning
1:04 am [ miles <3 ]: Why are you replying?
1:05 am [ you ]: have you been fighting since 10?
1:12 am [ miles <3 ]: I’ve been studying! 🤓
1:12 am [ you ]: LIAR i know what you are…
🕷️ You text him while he’s in the middle of fighting? You bet he’s going to respond. While giving himself a reasonable distance away from the villian, he holds out his pointer finger and says; “Hold on, let me respond to them real quick…” While they’re throwing punches at Miles, he’s dodging all of them while texting you back. Though, he’s text aren’t legible. At least he thinks they are! All Miles wants to do is talk to you, even if you don’t understand half the things he’s typing. Texting him while he’s swinging has the same effect. He has dropped his phone multiple times and he’s always caught it before it could land on the street, though when his webs come in contact with his screen it registers as someone typing so without even knowing he’s spamming you a whole bunch of jumbled letters.
3:45 pm [ you ]: hey miles can i come over for dinner
3:45 pm [ you ]: im craving ur moms food 😍
3:46 pm [ miles <3 ]: oys of cours
3:48 pm [ you ]: did u just have a stroke
3:53 pm [ miles <3 ]: noi busy
3:53 pm [ you ]: if you’re busy why r u texting me 😭
3:53 pm [ you ]: go back to fighting or wtv ur doing
3:56 pm [ miles <3 ]: i wMt to talk toyj
3:58 pm [ you ]: u can talk to me later miles
3:58 pm [ you ]: im not going away
4:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: hatr
5:46 pm [ miles <3 ]: HEYYY
5:46 pm [ you ]: HII are you not busy anymore
5:47 pm [ miles <3 ]: Yeah
5:48 pm [ miles <3 ]: How’s your day been?
5:49 pm [ you ]: it’s been ehhhhh
5:49 pm [ you ]: i’ve been missing you 😔
5:51 pm [ miles <3 ]: ooajbdko092828900
5:51 pm [ miles <3 ]: 08:$jjaoppapp
5:52 pm [ miles <3 ]: !!!!!
5:54 pm [ you ]: what
6:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: I DROPPED MY PHONE
6:01 pm [ miles <3 ]: ANYWAYS back to what you were saying
6:02 pm [ miles <3]: I’ve been missing you too
6:04 pm [ you ]: youre no better than those people who text and drive 😐
6:05 pm [ you ]: don’t text and swing miles
🕷️ He loves sending you videos of him showing off in his suit. He did a cool trick midair? He’s going to prop up his phone somewhere and start recording, once he perfects the move and edits out any unneeded footage and he sends them to you. He’s all giddy when he does, in his head he’s like, “Will that impress them?” “Do they think that’s cool?” “They’re going to love this!”
11:00 am [ miles <3 ]: (1 attachment video)
11:00 am [ miles <3 ]: What do you think??
11:00 am [ miles <3 ]: Pretty cool right
11:03 am [ you ]: (1 attachment photo)
11:04 am [ you ]: LOOK AT THE FACE YOU MADE WHWN YOU JUMPEDD AHHHHH 💀
11:04 am [ you ]: this is going to be my new lock screen
11:05 am [ miles <3 ]: 😐
11:06 am [ miles <3 ]: Are you going to ignore the cool spin i did?
11:07 am [ you ]: oh sorey
11:08 am [ you ]: THAT WAS A REALLY SICK SPIN
11:09 am [ miles <3 ]: Mentirosa 😒
🕷️ Miles also sends you photos. It ranges from him swinging in midair or him relaxing on top of a building with his lunch in hand. He loves to keep you updated on his life. You’re the only one in this universe that knows his secret, so he texts or shows you everything he comes across as SpiderMan.
3:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: (1 attachment photo)
3:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: Look how pretty the view is from up here
3:00 pm [ you ]: oooh that’s actually so pretty
3:01 pm [ you ]: who knew new york could actually look nice for once?
3:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: I’m going to take you here one day for lunch
6:54 pm [ miles <3 ]: (1 attachment photo)
6:54 pm [ miles <3 ]: You should put this as your lock screen
6:55 pm [ you ]: it’s just you doing the peace sign while swinging
6:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: You said that like it’s a bad thing
6:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: It’s a nice photo :(
6:58 pm [ you ]: look i set it as my lock screen
6:58 pm [ you ]: (1 screenshot)
6:59 pm [ you ]: everyones gonna see that i know spiderman
6:59 pm [ miles <3 ]: YES GOOD
🕷️ He texts you nonsense sometimes. You could be chilling, watching something to pass the time and he will text you something so utterly stupid you would have to take a moment to process it.
10:00 am [ miles <3]: (1 attachment photo)
10:00 am [ you ]: u just sent an empty plate of food?
10:00 am [ miles <3 ]: Yeah cuz I ate 😜
10:01 am [ miles <3 ]: Like literally
10:03 am [ you ]: enough.
fanks to everyone who sent in requests IM WIRITN G THEM RN ✍️
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𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞) —
pairing: dabi + f!reader
word count: 4381
cw: getting to know each other (against your better intuition), flirting, bad flirting,some explicit language but nothing too bad, no quirk AU, dabi commits a crime or two
summary: In which Dabi meant to text Toga instead of a random stranger. But these things happen, and you were never one to shy away from troublesome men. This whole thing is told entirely through text messages.
a/n: check out my AO3 for different formatting! :)
Mar 02��
10:07 PM
Unknown: Grab bleach while you’re out
Unknown: And paper towels
You: who is this??
Unknown: So funny
You: u got the wrong number my guy
Unknown: Shit
Unknown: You don’t happen to have some bleach at your disposal rn?
You: try the convenience store
You: where’s the body at, anyways
Unknown: Ohara street by the fitness park, you should come check it out
You: sounds enticing
You: i’ve always wanted to be on a true crime podcast
You: sort of expected myself to be the alive one though
Unknown: I was taught that women tend to be smart about stranger danger and stuff
Unknown: You're out to prove me wrong
You: how’d you know i’m a woman? 🤨
Unknown: U sound cute
Unknown: And men don’t listen to true crime
You: that’s so sexist
You: and correct
You: you'd do numbers on reddit
Mar 03
00:16 AM
You: hey don’t leave now
Mar 03
00:34 AM
Unknown: Had a body to take care of
You: you didn’t wait for me? :(
Unknown: …
Unknown: Are u fr
You: ofc not
You: i don’t hang out with edgelords
Unknown: Whatever u r probably boring anyways
You: entertaining enough for u to keep texting me
Unknown: We all have our moments of weakness
Mar 03
01:09 AM
Unknown: So wyd
You: you don’t have anybody else to bother?
Unknown: I do
Unknown: I want to bother you tho
You: damn, what’d i do to deserve this
Unknown: Is that a complaint
You: i have uni tomorrow and ur buzzing keeps waking me up
Unknown: Mute your phone, stupid
You: can’t mute unknown numbers
Unknown: Save this one then
Unknown: Or block me idc
You: what name should i put it under
Unknown: Dabi
You: lmao i knew you were an edgelord
Dabi: Stfu
You: good night to you too
Mar 03
07:58 AM
You: fuck
Mar 03
3:56 PM
Dabi: Did you miss me that bad
Mar 03
4:32 PM
You: i overslept and am blaming you entirely
Mar 03
5:19 PM
Dabi: Sucks to be a useful member to society
You: why what do you do
Dabi: I'm actually a bit of a part-time freelancer, you regular uni folk just wouldn't get it
You: freelancing around ohara at 1 in the morning sounds like the truly fulfilling purpose we all long for
You: did you just get up
Dabi: Hey now
Dabi: Yes
Dabi: I’m still in bed technically, looking at the ceiling fan is so interesting when I don't want to move a muscle
You: you are everything I am jealous of
Dabi: I promise you it’s not that good
You: first time a guy’s been honest right away. i applaud u
Dabi: Omg no way
Mar 03
5:40 PM
You: no way what
Dabi: No way you said something witty
Dabi: Maybe you’re fun after all
You: i’ll have u know that deep down, i’m just a fragile being trying to make it thru this bitch of a world, running on fumes and caffeine all while chasing a childhood dream that i'll never be able to reach anyways because of my parents' expectations of me crushing my soul
Dabi: Damn, being vulnerable already
You: your turn
Dabi: I’m not sad. My life is great and my parents never expected anything of me
Dabi: That was a lie
You: so you’re a liar
Dabi: I suppose I might be
You: that counts as being vulnerable. i’m so proud of us. <3
Mar 03
9:12 PM
You: you probably have daddy issues
Mar 03
11:34 PM
Dabi: Mind your business
You: so i’m right
Dabi: Nosy sounds more like it
You: that’s a yes then
Dabi: When I tell you he SUCKS so bad
You: LMAO
You: i’m guessing you don’t particularly like your family then
Dabi: It's not the type of stuff I'd tell anybody, especially not to some nosy individual whose number is one or two digits off
You: alright i’ll stop digging
You: wait how old are you
You: am i talking to some 50 y/o dude
You: please no
Mar 04
00:02 AM
Dabi: Chill I’m 48
Mar 04
00:06 AM
You: say sike right now
You: if u rly are then i’m half your age
Dabi: You thought
Dabi: Are you actually 24 tho
You: give or take a few days lol
Dabi: When’s your birthday
You: do you want my social and tax numbers while we’re at it
Dabi: Stfu I wanna see if I’m older
You: 🤨
You: it’s at the end of this month
Dabi: Baby
You: are u flirting with me or insulting me
Dabi: Can’t I be doing both
Mar 04
06:30 AM
You: love me a guy who can multitask
You: did you ever get your bleach and paper towels
Mar 04
11:11 AM
You: it’s 11:11 make a wish
Mar 04
2:02 PM
You: my wish is that you’d commit to a humane sleeping schedule
Mar 04
2:59 PM
Dabi: Anybody hear sum
You: i heard you’re a lazy bitch
You: who doesn’t even do his own grocery shopping
Dabi: Maybe I do. Maybe I got the bleach all on my own like a big boy
You: X
Dabi: What's that mean
You: X for doubt
You: it’s a meme
Dabi: Here I thought we were about to get spicy 😔
You: ew
Dabi: I was joking
Dabi: …unless
You: has anybody ever told you that your flirting is immaculate
Mar 04
7:10 PM
Dabi: What do you study
You: are you trying to find out my location
Dabi: Let it be known I’m terrible at geography and if I wanted to stalk you I'd already be on it
You: that’s a consolation
You: forensic science
You: i actually can’t wait for the semester to be over bc my professor is one of the most annoying individuals i have ever had the displeasure of meeting
Dabi: So you do have bleach
You: never said i didn’t
Dabi: What do I have to do to make the list of annoying individuals. What's my current score
You: we haven’t met
You: and i’m not sure if i’d survive u
Dabi: You have a point, I'm super nice tho
You: bet
You: are you handsome
You: asking for a friend
You: the handsome ones are usually more annoying
Dabi: I'll say I’m frighteningly unique-looking
You: ...well played
Mar 04
10:09 PM
Dabi: My boss is making me do errand work in the morning like I'm some kind of functioning human being with principles
Dabi: The next piercing I’m getting is a lobotomy
You: thought you were “freelancing”
Dabi: Freelancing only gets you so far. You'll understand when you're my age
You: can't imagine what the back pain must be like
You: do you have a tongue piercing 👀
Dabi: Perhaps I do
You: u r so mysterious
You: tell me an opinion
Dabi: Mint ice cream makes my teeth feel weird
You: that’s not an opinion
Dabi: Alright, more foods should have mint in them. And coriander. I want to make things inedible for 80% of the human population
You: nvm keep your opinions to yourself
Mar 05
02:26 AM
Dabi: I've gotta burn this number. Txt u in a few
Mar 05
05:16 AM
You: what are you, some kind of druglord
This message could not be delivered.
You: I knew it
This message could not be delivered.
Mar 0512:03 PM
You: ayo are you still there
This message could not be delivered.
You: this is only funny if you come clean right now
This message could not be delivered.
Mar 05
4:16 PM
You: "text you in a few" minutes? hours? days?
This message could not be delivered.
You: just know that if it takes to long i'll forget about u
This message could not be delivered.
You: won't even miss u
This message could not be delivered.
Mar 06
09:00 AM
You: hello is this thing on
This message could not be delivered.
Mar 07
3:15 PM
You: my social security number is 6007 0023 6799 0324
This message could not be delivered.
Mar 07
8:46 PM
You: eggs, vinegar, panko, sprite, sliced ham, parmesan, deodorant
sencha if they have the good one
ground pepper, lemon juice
This message could not be delivered.
Mar 08
04:44 AM
Unknown: Am I still the man of ur dreams
You: I'm killing you
You: violently
Unknown: I was hoping softly
Unknown: With your song
You: are these messages being monitored
You: am i a suspect
Unknown: If they were, could I write that I'm a ruthless baby killer anti-government fuck the police pro abortion the prime minister is an idiot bomb. bomb at the airport, terrorism, detonate
Unknown: I guess now they are
Dabi was added as a contact.
You: just when i thought i'd have to find another witty asshole with a tongue piercing
Dabi: Aw you missed me
Dabi: Does my tongue piercing make me hot be honest
You: what are my chances of getting an explanation for the past few days
You: are u a murderer fr, that would be so cool
You: i totally didn't use our abandoned chat as a grocery list btw
Dabi: The only thing I slay is pussy 😎
You: somehow i have doubts about that statement
You: animal abuse is no joke
Dabi: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100, if you guess it correctly I'll tell u everything
You: 69
Mar 08
08:21 AM
Dabi: It was 72
Dabi: Because you were so close I'll give u one free question. But I want another one in return
You: you're a dirty little gremlin who plays dirty little games
You:: do i get to ask a follow-up question
Dabi: No
You: in that case
You: which of the following activities did you partake in?
1.) vandalism
2.) drug dealing
3.) drug trafficking
4.) violent crimes
5.) violent crimes that resulted in the death of one or more individuals
6.) assisting someone in a violent crime
7.) assisting someone in a non-violent crime
8.) theft
9.) robbery
10.) hate crimes against a minority
11.) politically motivated acts of defiance
12.) consumption of illegal substances
13.) running and/or hiding from law enforcement
14.) domestic terrorism
15.) human trafficking
16.) money laundering
17.) having a good time
Dabi: What the fuck
Dabi: What is this, a multiple choice?
Dabi: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 13
Dabi: My turn
Dabi: What's your favourite food
You: fr, just like that
You: that's your one question out of everything you could ask? am i really that boring
Dabi: I ask what I ask
You: spicy miso ramen with minced pork
You: can we go back to the part where you ran from law enforcement
Dabi: Don't we all have demons that we run from
Dabi: Mine are just a bit more persistent
Mar 08
10:52 AM
You: i want another question
Dabi: If you come up with one that's not related to the past few days, go ahead
You: fine i'll take it
You: have you ever been caught and gotten in legal trouble for one of your… dubious activities
Dabi: Yeah
You: …and?
Dabi: That's another question. Gonna trade?
You: fine
Dabi: When I was 16, two Officers Of The Law 🐷 caught me dumpster diving behind a 7/11
Dabi: The dumpster diving wasn't the crime but because it was on private property they charged me with trespassing
You: damn, that's a lot of truth from u in just two sentences
You: i wanna know ur tragic backstory so bad
Dabi: You could try to get me all sentimental for the 6 minutes after really good sex before the post nut clarity sets in
You: uh huh, taking notes
You: anyway. you get one question. think hard
Dabi: If you couldn't have minced pork on your ramen, what would your second topping choice be
You: you're impossible
Mar 08
1:27 PM
You: tori karaage or extra ni-tamago i guess
Mar 08
2:23 PM
Dabi: Doesn't the Karaage lose its crispiness if it's in the broth for too long
Dabi: I wouldn't know
You: please let me recommend you a good ramen place, you seem like you'd need it
Dabi: You have no idea. Take me out
You: like romantically? or are you asking me to murder you
Dabi: I love surprises
You: i just laughed out loud in the middle of my lecture
Mar 08
7:18 PM
Dabi: Need your forensic expertise for a sec
You: …oh no
Dabi: It's a purely hypothetical scenario
You: alright lay it on me big boy
Dabi: If a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person were to climb over a 4,60 meter high fence that has electrical wiring on it
Dabi: What would the most likely way for them to die be?
You: this is not forensic at all
You: how strong is the electricity
You: is there a way to shut it off
You: where would you hold onto the fence
You: can it be damaged
Dabi: Not me, a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person
You: where would THE 176 CM TALL AND 67 KG HEAVY PERSON HOLD ONTO THE FENCE
Dabi: The only points that provide decent grip surface are the hooks holding the wires in place
You: so the most likely way to die would be electrocution
You: will that be all
Dabi: How would one determine whether the electricity has been properly shut off
Dabi: In the theoretical scenario that you couldn't get close enough to hear
You: the 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person should tap the wiring from the bottom with the back of their hand
You: that way their fingers curl downwards and not around the wire
You: so the person won't DIE from ELECTROCUTION
Mar 09
00:08 AM
Dabi: Excellent
Dabi: Gonna do some field research
Dabi: Will report back in maybe a day
Mar 09
08:01 AM
You: i'm gonna be so mad if you die before you've had decent karaage
This message could not be delivered.
Mar 11
6:10 PM
Unknown: So it turns out that the person did not have to climb the fence after all. Pliers are such useful tools
Unknown: Thanks for the electricity tip tho
Mar 11
6:39 PM
Dabi was added as a contact.
You: you're so hot when you're alive
Mar 11
9:14 PM
Dabi: Do u think I'm a catch 😏
You: judging by the way law enforcement is trying to get their hands on you, i'd say you're pretty slippery
Dabi: The slipperiest
Dabi: You couldn't handle me
You: i'd trap you using cheese and a paper box
You: put you in a jar and turn you into spicy miso broth
Dabi: Would you hold the jar tight at night and tell me everything's going to be okay
You: of course
Dabi: I'm liking this scenario
Mar 12
01:07 AM
Dabi: Ever thought about what Mint Karaage would taste like
Mar 12
01:23 AM
You: i need u
Dabi: Tell me more
You: to shut your mouth
Dabi: Are you trying to romance me
Mar 12
07:15 AM
You: i'm actually so upset right now
You: can i vent
Mar 12
07:27 AM
Dabi: Listening
Dabi: Am I gonna have to get the tissues out
You: you're not empathetic enough for that
Dabi: How would you know
You: call it a woman's intuition
You: i just need someone to bother about my hot girl troubles
Dabi: Let's hear it girl
Dabi: Men ain't shit 💅
You: damn right they aren't
You: but unrelated to that
You: i ran out of my medication a few days ago and thought if i stretched the remaining 3 pills to last me 6 days i'd be able to make it till the end of the week
You: now my doctor's office is closed and i can't seem to get an appointment anywhere
You: and i'm super jittery and on edge and almost had a panic attack just trying to make coffee
Dabi: What type of medication
You: Ativan
You: it's prescription only
Dabi: Nothing is ever "prescription only"
You: i'm not gonna try some experimential backalley drug
You: just feel like dying rn
Dabi: Who said anything about backalley? You actually came to the right guy for this
Dabi: What's the name of the nearest druggery
You: ...fukuju pharmacy
Dabi: So I've been talking to a Setagaya girl
You: only moved here for uni, hate to disappoint if ur expecting a wealthy maiden
Mar 12
10:02 AM
Dabi: Don't you feel like getting a snack from the vending machine
Dabi: Specifically the one next to the pharmacy
Dabi: A bag of skittles sounds nice, doesn't it?
You: ? ? ?
Mar 12
10:34 AM
You: did you commit a crime for me
You: how did you get your hands on actual fucking Ativan this fast
Dabi: I don't kiss and tell
You: did you follow me home
You: is this how i die
Dabi: You make it so hard to be nice to you
Dabi: What do you think I am, a creep
You: if you were here i'd suck you off so good rn
Dabi: Whore
Dabi: (Respectfully)
You: lmao ur right
You: thank you for real though
Dabi: Stfu
Mar 12
1:33 PM
Dabi: Do u like cats
You: yes
Dabi sent an image.
Dabi: Noodle thieving menace
You: 🥹
You: that has got to be the fattest street cat i’ve ever seen
Dabi: He’s hella fast
You: how does it feel to be the one chasing the culprit for once
Dabi: Not nearly as thrilling as being the one committing the crime
Mar 13
00:00 AM
Unknown: Congratulations! You have been selected as an eligible member for a free trial of Osaka Daily Post.
Unknown: If you would like information about your benefits, reply 'BENEFIT'
Unknown: If you would like to stop receiving these messages, reply 'STOP'
You: i know it's you shithead
Unknown: Your message could not be processed.
You: this is the unfunniest you've ever been ngl
Unknown: Your message could not be processed.
You: you're truly one of the most annoying individuals in my life
Unknown: Your message could not be processed.
You: STOP
Unknown: LMAO you thought
Dabi was saved as a contact.
You: i'm reconsidering if the tongue piercing is really worth it 😤
Mar 13
04:55 AM
Dabi: Any particular reason why you chose forensics
Mar 13
06:09 AM
You: i've always admired criminals but been to scared to become one
You: and if i know about psychotic assholes it might help me to steer clear of them, or so i thought
Dabi: Is it working
You: evidently not
Dabi: Use me in ur thesis
Dabi: I'll be your lab rat
You: nah you're more beneficial to me when you're not stuck behind bars
You: what do you have me saved as in your phone
Dabi: I don't save contacts
Dabi: Especially not yours
Dabi: You mean nothing to me
You: aww do you know my number by heart, that's adorable
You: i'm kinda genuinely impressed at how persistent you are at bothering me, it's almost like you like me or smth
Dabi: No fr though lmao if anybody finds my phone you'd be on a list
You: do u delete these chats
Dabi: Always
You: that's so romantic
You: admit it you're actually a softie
Dabi: Would that make you more interested in me
Dabi: Then I'm the softest
You: what do i need to do to make you the hardest
Dabi: ...
Dabi: There's absolutely no correct way for me to respond to that
Dabi: You've left me speechless
You: 🥵🥵
Dabi: What's your worst quality
Dabi: Besides being an irresistible smartass
Dabi: *irritating
You: was that a freudian slip
You: you're so obsessed with me it's adorable
Dabi: Proving my point so diligently
You: you don't seem like the kind of person who would use words like 'diligently'
You: i'm rather talkative at times
You: to the point where it gets unbearable to listen to me
Dabi: I never would've guessed
You: what's yours?
You: besides the obvious
Dabi: Still putting up with you
Mar 13
7:45 PM
Dabi: Wyd
You: i burned my rice a little
You: but it's edible
Dabi: Don't you have a rice cooker? Who raised you
You: my very strict but sweet and committed grandmother who made the best teriyaki salmon in the whole world
You: i'd kill another human being to eat her home cooked food one more time
Dabi: So your parents ain't shit either
You: eh, they're alright
You: they're Business People overseas and aren't around a whole lot, means i get my own place though
You: so i can have visitors at any desired hour 😏
Dabi: Omg sick
Dabi: Me next
You: it was implied
Mar 13
11:11 PM
Dabi: Ok but do u actually wanna meet up sometime
Dabi: No strings attached ofc
You: i'm down
Dabi: What if I'm a creep after all
You: if anything, it means i won't have to attend my lecture about carbon dots tmrw
Dabi: I can't tomorrow
Dabi: What about the day after
Dabi: I'll give u my credit card info if it makes you feel more safe, don't bother trying to buy anything with it tho, you'll be disappointed
You: you may not show it a whole lot, but are you actually a considerate person?
You: the day after sounds good
Dabi: Preem
You: oreryu shio ramen, right by harajuku station
You: about time you had some good karaage
You: my treat
You: unless that's too far away for u
Dabi: I would fly across the world for u
Dabi: Yes Harajuku works fine
Mar 14
08:49 AM
You: how will i recognise u
You: what do u look like
Dabi: As my dad once said. I'm impossible to miss
You: i laughed
Dabi: Guess it was all worth it then
Dabi: Do tattoos scare you
You: i was gonna ask cause there's no way you got only a tongue piercing and nothing else
You: stand there with your tongue out
Dabi: Shouldn't we at least get to know each other before 😳
You: don't get any ideas
You: i don't intend to fuck u
You: ...for now
Dabi: That's a relief, I thought I might have to file a restraining order afterwards
Mar 14
1:42 PM
Dabi sent an image.
Dabi: If u see this guy u can still run the other way
You: hhh fuck
You: are u trying to intimidate me
You: how do you have so many tattoos but no bedframe
Dabi: Cut me some slack, I just moved into this place
You: fair warning i'm not as hot as u
Dabi: Bet
You sent an image.
Dabi: Why do women always lie. I thought you were better. I thought you were different
You: 😳
You: i'm actually worse
Dabi: We're such a good match
You: don't get ahead of urself. u r still a guy with no bedframe
Dabi: Please shut up
Mar 14
4:16 PM
Dabi: To be clear I'm not bringing flowers or anything
Dabi: And I'm actually willing to let you pay this time lol
You: you have such a unique way with words
Dabi: A bit tight on money rn but I'll pay u back some other way
You: can we make that the first line in our sextape
You: dw i said it's my treat and i mean it
You: does that make you feel emasculated
Dabi: Who would I be to say no to free food tf
Dabi: If there's a next time I can take you out for drinks
Dabi: Nothing fancy but an old friend of mine owns a bar downtown and his girlfriend mixes a killer mule
You: if you're gonna poison me after gaining my trust over my favourite food i will be incredibly sad
Dabi: Give me some credit here. I'm trusting u to not rat me out to law enforcement
You: you're giving me ideas
You: is there a bounty on your head
Dabi: I'm not that important
Mar 14
9:44 PM
You: so you're just too good to get caught
Dabi: Both flattering and factually correct
Dabi: For the record I've never harmed anybody that didn't deserve it
You: thanks for clarifying
You: i feel so safe now
Dabi: Anytime
Dabi: If you're having second thoughts lmk before 10 am so I won't spend time getting ready for nothing
You: 10 am is crazy
You: u r so vain
Dabi: Alright then I won't 😔
You: i take it back
You: be pretty for me
Mar 15
5:30 AM
You: can't sleep
Mar 15
7:12 AM
Dabi: How the turntables
Dabi: Are you alright
You: yes
You: it's the good kind of sleepless
Dabi: It's fine if you're having second thoughts, I won't hold it against you at all
Dabi: Just texting like this is nice too
You: fuck no i wanna meet the man behind the screen
You: the myth, the legend, the crimelord himself
Dabi: I'm never showing consideration for ur wellbeing ever again
You: should've ghosted me before i got attached
Mar 15
9:54 AM
Dabi: Last chance to bail gracefully
You: you make it so tempting
Dabi: Getting out of bed then
You: it's not a bed if it doesn't have a bedframe
Dabi: Shut, and I mean this in the gentlest way possible, the hell your mouth
Mar 15
12:08 PM
Dabi sent a location pin.
Dabi: Is this the place
You: that's the one
You: be there in a few minutes
Dabi: I'm waiting outside
Mar 15
12:13 PM
You: omg i think i see u
You: im shy
Dabi: U literally have so much blackmail material on me
You: give me a second
You: alright I'm coming over
This message could not be delivered.
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