#Tw addiction recovery

[imabillyami]

Full disclosure on my absence and my pulling away from everyone.

Many of you know this already, but I’ll state it again in case you don’t.

I am a drug addict. I am an alcoholic.

I was clean and sober for 2 1/2 years and counting. Until I wasn’t.

I’m back to Day 2 today.

Those of you who have been following my journey for a while know that I’m struggling with a lot of other issues on top of my addiction. I’m not afraid to be honest about them. I’m not afraid to share my truth in hopes that it’ll help and inspire others.

Now.

I know people will be disappointed. I know some will be drawing away or judging. I respect that.

I also know some people - especially in my family - will see me as a failure *again*.

Only I didn’t fail.

I relapsed again, yes, but that is part of the sobriety journey for a lot of people. It’s something you have to be realistic about. Addiction is a lifelong illness.

So the possibility was sadly always there. And the possibility became a reality again this time around. Something happened and it pulled the rug from under my feet and I chose to cope the wrong way.

But. I have to treat myself with understanding and grace.

I am sick. I have an illness. I am not a failure. I didn’t fail.

Failing would mean giving up on myself for good. It’s what I did the last time I relapsed and it nearly killed me. Not in a metaphorical way, but in a very real one.

Failing would mean ending up in a plot next to my dad’s and my grandpa’s who both died of this very illness. It would mean ending up in the same graveyard on the same row as my great-grandpa and my aunt who succumbed to conditions caused by their lifelong addiction.

Failing would mean making the same mistakes as they did and never holding myself accountable. And I’m not going down that road again. Not this time around.

This time around I’m trying to learn from my past experiences. I’m trying my hardest not to enter the spiral of shame which eventually becomes the spiral of doom.

Instead I choose to own up to my mistakes and start over again. One day at a time.

So today is Day 2 again. I’ve had many of those over the past 10+ years. And it will be a long hard road with a lot of struggle and setbacks like this one ahead.

But I know there’s another Day 1000 in my future. And I’m fighting for it.

[rockstarlwt28]

TW / Addiction / Recovery / Faith and Hope / My story / Soberity

Not sure if anyone is even remotely interested but I'm almost two years clean from opioids and the ones I had stored away have finally expired... I feel proud of this achievement and I don't often praise myself, if ever to be quite honest.

Yet, I've come here today to share this to perhaps encourage others to achieve their targets and show that anything is possible. It hasn't been an easy road and I'd be lying if I said I haven't been tempted, especially when truly unwell with a chronic illness.

But, I made it and I feel like that's something worth celebrating. I've come a long, long way and I want to thank everyone who has supported me on this endless journey.

For a while I would be ashamed of this, yet truthfully there's no shame. No one is perfect.

I love you. ♥

[exclusivenyc]

SKELETON CHARACTER: THE BEACH GOER

OVERVIEW -

On the outside looking in, this person might seem like they’ve got life all figured out. They cracked the code. Broke through the Matrix. Nothing can bother them—not their parents, not their boss, not those snot-nosed kids stomping on everyone’s sand castles either. Okay, well maybe their parents and boss can’t bother them because they cut them out of their life. But they’d be lying if they said that unaffected attitude ever came naturally to them until recently. The truth is, it’s taken them a long time to get here. A very long time. A lifetime of misfortunes—things most people likely wouldn’t have been able to survive or come out kicking on the other side. Sometimes they still wonder how the hell they’re still alive, given their past. But a strong pursuit of happiness through rehab, therapy and setting boundaries has unlocked this new era of life to them, and even though they have no job and are living in their car, they’ve never felt freer. Soon, something’s gonna change. They can feel it. In the meantime, they’ve stopped waiting around and wallowing in their own misery, and have learned to take life day by day. To quit all that looking back, and start living. Really living. Even if all they have is the shirt on their back and a gifted hot dog for the day, that’s alright with them. Call them a hippie, but they don’t even care if you do. They have no will to prove their worthiness to anyone anymore, and instead have taken up the role of trying to get people to see the light. To live, because all we have is today! Don’t you see?

DEMOGRAPHICS & DIVERSITY -

Muse Age + Gender: 30s+ / UTP

Muse Occupation: Unemployed

Suggested Faceclaims: UTP

Diversity: UTP

CONNECTIONS -

THE HOT DOG MAN: Showing up to the beach every day has it’s perks. This one comes in the form of friendship and a free hot dog. A signature, daily, personal coupon to one large weenie with extra, extra relish, free of charge. The Hot Dog Man has this currency system. A hot dog for your thoughts, he calls it. Well, the Beach Goer has a lot of thoughts, and even if they’re so much more healed than they were a few years ago, they still feel bad taking charity. This is a good compromise, to stave off the guilt of being given something for free, and as a result, they’ve unintentionally shared a lot about their life with this person. They never planned on it. Sure as hell didn’t intend to do it. But there’s something about the Hot Dog Man that makes them want to be vulnerable, and in a good way. They might even call him their best friend. That position’s been needing to be filled for awhile anyway.

THE LIFEGUARD: Cowabunga, dudes! Surf’s up! The best things in life are free and it seems like the Beach Goer is the only one who can get the Lifeguard to look up from their phone for more than five minutes. They aren’t privy to this though, and maybe if they were they’d have noticed by now the way the Lifeguard blushes in their presence. Instead, they go over to bug the Lifeguard for a surf board every day. Normally you’d have to pay to rent one, but there’s no harm in sneaking one over to the Beach Goer, right? They don’t even know the effect they have on the Lifeguard, or why it’s so monumental that they’ve gotten them to eat a sandwich with them and talk for an hour at a time. This is just normal time-passing behavior to the Beach Goer, but it’s a sonnet of love to the Lifeguard.

THE EMT: Maybe one day the Beach Goer will become a paramedic. The more they talk to the EMT, the more they feel drawn to the calling to help others, and the stories of diabetic emergencies and heat stroke are interesting enough that they get the Beach Goer to shut up about Alan Watts for five seconds. Even though the EMT is younger than them, they look up to them. In a lot of ways, they even feel a little jealousy for the EMT, because they got their life together way sooner than the Beach Goer ever did. Talks about using narcan to save someone’s life makes the Beach Goer get a little quiet every time, though, and unbeknownst to them, the EMT has caught onto this. Neither is willing to prod the other for their vulnerability, so they enjoy each other’s company, and read between the lines.

THE FERRIS WHEEL OPERATOR: The Ferris Wheel Operator really needs to get that stick out of their ass. Or, at least just loosen up a little. Have some fun! The Beach Goer tries to be the Operator’s voice of irrationality, encouraging them to live their life before it’s too late. They have different ideas of what life is supposed to be like. After all, the Operator has a family and they don’t. In a lot of ways, they think they might have been like the Operator in another life. Had they made all the right decisions and settled down. The Beach Goer has somehow become their resident weekend babysitter, and not always, but often finds themselves spending the entire weekend running around with the kids and going on rides. They feel for the Operator, and take it from them, they know what poverty is like... but they just wish the Operator could see that they could be perfectly happy living on one job, and not wasting their whole weekend mindlessly pressing buttons.

THE CHEF: Leftovers? Count them in! There’s one thing for sure, witnessing the Chef post-shift every day is a nice, blatant reminder why they never liked working. The left over pasta the Chef sneaks to all the employees after Garguilo’s closes is worth its weight in gold to the Beach Goer. It makes for a very satisfying dinner, plus the smell of Italian food on the Chef is kind of nostalgic. The Beach Goer lets the Chef rant to them about their shift every night, and gives them life advice straight from the file cabinet of live free, die free. Take down the establishment, dude. Fuck capitalism. Is there anymore garlic bread?

[selfsabotagingcvnt]

2024 is the year I heal

2024 is the year I have my biggest relapse yet

[neuroticboyfriend]

i love you addicts. i love you when you're sober. i love you when you're clean. i love you when you're dry. i love you when you're scared and confused. i love you when you're fighting off relapse. i love you when you're in relapse. i love you when you're detoxing. i love you when you're on maintenance medication. i love you when you're in rehab or the psych ward. i love you when you're in a sober house or group home. i love you when you're homeless or displaced. i love you when you're broke. i love you when you're not broke, including when you spend your money on substances.

i love you when you're you, sickness and adversity and all. i love you when you're you, recovery and strength and all. i love you for being here. i love you because you're a person. i love you more and more; you're the person who needs love the most.

[ed-recoverry]

Shoutout to people who relapse quick.

Shoutout to people who try to recover, but it doesn’t ever last long.

Shoutout to the people who want to get better, but they’re struggling to start.

I see so many people comforting those far into recovery who’ve relapsed, saying that it is a normal part of recovery and they will be okay. Which is completely true! But I rarely see that same energy for people who haven’t been clean for long or who relapse often.

It’s hard to get your footing in recovery. Wanting to get better and taking steps to get better are two very different things; one much harder than the other.

Even a quickly failed attempt at recovery is something worth celebrating.

Trying to recover, knowing you probably won’t stay clean for long, and still deciding to try again is something impressive.

The only consistent trait in recovery from anything is relapsing at least once. If you don’t relapse, then you haven’t done the work to heal the cause of your destructive behavior. Relapse is integral to healing.

While it is ideal that these relapses are few and far between, that is something that is just unattainable for some.

I often see comments on tiktok that talk about how annoying it is when someone says “one second clean” or something along those lines, but I couldn’t disagree more. I am such a strong believer that every single second you aren’t acting on self destructive impulses is an accomplishment.

Especially if you’re actively resisting that behavior.

Relapse is normal in recovery. That includes relapses that happen after months of being clean, and relapses that happen within hours of being clean. While you should always strive to go longer and longer without relapsing, any amount of time spent not relapsing is something to be proud of.

Intent matters. Wanting to get better matters, even if you aren’t making much progress, is something to celebrate. Strive to be better, but don’t forget the little victories along the way.

[chronicallycouchbound]

People who use drugs deserve love and kindness.

Abstinence is not the only form of recovery. AA/NA doesn’t work for everyone. Sometimes people choose to use instead of meeting other needs, which is valid. Some people use for recreational purposes. Some people use for medicinal purposes. Some people who use have substance abuse disorder. Treatment looks different for everyone. Not everyone needs or wants treatment, for various reasons. The only thing Naloxone enables is breathing. Active use is not shameful. People who use drugs often also deal drugs. People in recovery should not shame active users. Active users deserve love. Active users deserve someone to check in on them, get them safer use supplies, and get them pizza. Active users deserve to be listened to. They deserve better than to have that be the first time anyone ever treated them as human since they began using.

Let’s care for each other.

[compassionatereminders]

And a lot of people will be all in favor of legalizing weed because "actually weed has a lot of useful qualities for a lot of people" and I am not disagreeing with that argument at all, but actually the reason why we should decriminalize drugs is because criminalizing them ruins lives and kills people. Like the issue is not that they accidentally criminalized one useful substance, it's that turning a debilitating illness into a law enforcement issue is a problem regardless of how dangerous the drug of choice is

[lingeringembers]

Criminalizing drug users does not prevent drug use it prevents people from getting help.

[theoscout]

The best advice I've ever posted:

I want this image posted in as many places as possible. Do your part and reblog it. Download it, put it on pinterest, tweet it, whatever. IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was anxious the whole fucking day until I did this. I ran around on discord screaming because of the sheer difference I felt in mood. It probably worked better than my meds did.

[emotional-moss]

fastest way to tell if someone genuinely cares about addicts and people with mental health issues in general? ask them how they feel about people who vape. vaping is and has been a hot button issue for like the last ten years or so and the way you hear people talk about people who vape, including teenagers, actual children, is insane. “at least i can go five minutes without needing a hit of flavored air” “kids who vape are cringe and just doing it to look cool” “when the addict loses their pen and tears their whole house apart looking for it” it’s like. you guys are just making fun of addiction. vapes are extremely addictive, way more so than cigarettes, and their flavors are deliberately targeted at children and young people. you achieve nothing by making fun of “kids who vape,” especially when you turn around five seconds later and claim to care about addicts. valing is an addiction like any other.

[theaddictspoetry]

Grief is weird I think of you every day, Some days I smile. some days I cry. some days I just drown, drown in the could have beens, should have beens, the unknown. the unknown- is what truly kills us. this wasn't supposed to be this way, i'll spend forever trying to find out why you're not here anymore.

@theaddictspoetry

[betweenmee]

I woke up again just to wish I didn’t…

[neuroticboyfriend]

I hope you find peace. I hope you find belonging. I hope you find joy. I hope you find rest and rejuvenation. I hope you find comforting solitude. I hope you find release from the emotions stuck inside you. I hope you find the strength to make it through another day. I hope you find people who won't give up on you.

I hope you find these and all the other experiences you need to grow into a healthier, happier, you. You may not know where these things are. You may have never found them in the first place. You may have lost them so long ago, that you don't think that you'll ever get them back.

The good news is, no matter what, life is so complex. It's complex enough that you are far from doomed. You may have done something today that's setting off a beautiful butterfly effect, where you will find these things - where you will find life beyond your wildest dreams.

So, if you'd like, let's walk together down this uncertain road. Let's walk through all the fog, all the fear, all the unknown ahead, with blind hope that there might just be something wonderful waiting on the other side.

I mean, you're already reading this, aren't you? And I wrote it. We're connected, now. You don't have to do this alone. I'm here, and so are the rest of us lost and scared souls. I'll be here for you when you don't know how to have hope. Just keep going, okay?

[imbecominggayer]

How To Write Characters With Addiction

From @differentnighttale: "I am curious if you give advice about writing people with addictions for example substance. I have reasons my male MC does it. But how can I describe the addictions the MC has correctly."

In this post we are going to be talking about addiction! From alcoholism, substance abuse, nymphomania, to everything else that can be a possible addiction. This post will be all about making this realistic and complex :)

A) What Are The Benefits?, Make It Convincing

Grab a fucking piece of paper or whatever you have and just write a paragraph from your addict's perspective on the situation. Omit the bad stuff. Make it highly convincing. if you aren't thinking "hmm, understandable" after you've written and read it, you did it wrong.

What do they get out of it?

Why did they like it at first?

Are they calmer, more intensely concentrated, does it take the edge off?

Are they more confident?

Does it ease the sense of being fundamentally wrong or dull some other pain?

Is it fun to do something rebellious?

What made them like this thing so much they tried it again, and again, and again?

B) Think About The Consequences, And Ignore It

Oftentime, at least in my experience, people will continue with a bad habit if it means they don't have to be the one to think about the consequences.

The Consequences For Addiction Include:

Financial. Depending on what your character uses to get their fix and how much they use, they might be spending hundreds a week if they are a particularly aggressive user. People often steal money from their loved ones. Addiction also tends to get people fired. Write a scene where your drunk character gets fired for operating machinery. Have them be a burdenous sponge.

Social. It's common for addicts to lose their loved ones since it often gets to a point where it's impossible to care about these people despite how much you love them. Make love ones leave your character! And don't blame them

Physical. STDs, Overdose, Liver Failure, and a shit ton of other issues from the chronic to the fatal either cause, exacerbate, or are linked with addiction. Recovery can't automatically save your character so don't write that story.

Psychological. Being an addict isn't fun since you get to struggle with points 1, 2, and 3 all at the same time! Write about your character issues. Their lack of control. Their spiralling life.

Write all about your character's suffering. And then have them justify it. Make it convincing.

They need it. It's not their fault that this is the only that helps them! Everyone just doesn't get it. I'm trying to work on it, OK?! It'll all work out! They know that it's wrong but...

My most hated shit is when a character's arc is easy. They struggle with some things like a big dramatic argument with their wife, they cry a bit, and then they learn that "drugs are bad" so everything is fine :D

NO!!! Why don't you write about a friendship that doesn't get mended? A chronic illness they now have to pay huge medicine bills for? A fucked-up rap sheet that they can't escape?

And it's not because we want to punich addicts. It's because it doesn't matter if you care about addicts if you don't care about the messy shit!

It's easy to sympathize with an addict if you make them the most innocent victim who never hurts someone intentionally and who gets rid of the addiction in a second and never struggles with it ever again!

Do the hard shit. Make your readers sympathize with the unsympathetic asshole addict! Addicts aren't always good people! They can be dickbags. And they still deserve resources. Life isn't some kind of karma game where dickbags suffer and good people rise! Everyone deserves to not suffer!

Addiction is ultimately a disease. But it's a disease that can make someone you love into an absolutely unlikeable person. And this is coming from someone with an alcoholic dad <3 He does good things and bad things. I can sympathise with my dad and not let him walk all over me.

C) Withdrawal Is Leaving An Ex, Relapse Is Returning

Addiction is a motherfucker trying to leave. It's basically the equivalent of a clingy ex who keeps contacting you, asking for just one conversation, and the moment you so much as acknowledge them you are fucked.

And suffering the brunt of a clingy ex who won't take the hint tends to cause the same symptoms as withdrawal!

Obviously, withdrawal symptoms depend on what type of ex you have and what age you are and yada yada yada. Research for specificity :)

Withdrawal symptoms can include:

Headaches

Insomnia

Fatigue

Hallucinations

Seizures

Tremors

Cravings

etc.

BE AWARE: Relapses are when someone returns back to their drug if they were going cold turkey or going back to their original dose. Relapses can sometimes result in an overdose due to the fact that the brain has been weened off the substance and is now overwhelmed by the high dose.

Relapses often happen when a person makes the deliberate choice in order to stop these fucking nightmarish symptoms. To use the analogy of a clingy ex, you start talking to them in order to tell them to stop contacting.

Relapses can also happen through being in a setting where the behaviors associated with the addiction such as sex, gambling, drinking, substance use, and all manner of things are normalized.

This setting could be a party, a bar, or even a friend group.

Relapse is made more likely if someone is self-detoxing away from a support group or a doctor.

Writing about withdrawal and relapses are an important part in making a story feel more authentic. Just like with mental illness, people rarely learn the lesson and follow it perfectly. They make mistakes. Slip back into old habits. Do shitty things.

We aren't writing their suffering to punish them. We are doing it because you can't say you care if all you are willing to do is look at the easy parts.

D) Little Tidbits To Keep Track Off

This is the miscellanious things that didn't fit into their own boxes.

Friends!

Do they have friends who also have their addiction? How do they hang out? What are they like? How are their substance using friends different from their non-addict ones?

Slang!

Don't just look up slang for your substance of choice. You'll need to look at some first-hand accounts of addiction. Find an influence who has struggled with substance abuse in the past and see how they talk about it!

Variables!

Remember to keep their geographical location, socioeconomic status, time, and a host of other factors. If your character is a penniless alcoholic then it's unlikely they'll get their hands on some type of expensive gin. They'll probably use rubbing alcohol. Keep the price of your drug in mind.

A character's status will also impact their slang. No one unironically says doobie anymore.

A character's location will also impact how they get their shit and how other characters will react to that addiction.

A character's financial status also impacts how the consequences of their actions impact them. A low-income character wont be able to afford the same medication as a rich addict. They also won't have the same luxury for quality therapy, rehab, programs, time, anything really.

Look At The Addict And The Loved Ones

Try not the skew the reality of addiction to paint the addict as the victim and the loved ones as evil for not being forgiving and tolerant enough.

Keep sympathy for both the addict and the loved ones. Or drop sympathy for both of those characters.

E) RESOURCES

FDA and DEA online databases and drug resources

Social Networking Groups

Medical Journals

Local medical professionals, police, and medical examiners

The US national poison center

[llestaire3]

💀