#This was not apart of my life plan

[cult-of-neo]

How in the flyfish do the other cults (at least somewhat) have their stuff together

[fauvester]

something something seeing things through different eyes

[osarina]

my friends are dragging me to a bar with them on thursday and are already talking about plans for friday 😔 don’t they know i’m a recluse and depressed, i’m gonna be drained for weeks after thursday

[rottengurlz]

"In the crooks of your body, I find my religion."

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

not to make angst out of a fucking gag but also thinking about the silly au rei in the final episode makes me think about how different rei would be if she didn’t have literally the worst dad ever. like, no, she probably wouldn’t have been the upbeat adhd whirlwind in the high school au lmao. but it does just make me think. because while all the pilots lives are incredibly marked by trauma, rei's the only one to have never had access to any sort of normal life. her entire personality and worldview is shaped from being isolated, groomed, and taught to see herself as a tool and not a person. and then i just get so sad that she never had any chance of a normal life where she could discover herself and what she is. she went from being abused and manipulated by gendō (which is made even worse with the implications certain scenes leave about their relationship) to becoming god. she never had any chance of living a normal life. and just like. fuck.

[phosphophylight-of-my-life]

oshi no ko aqua is such a fun character bc by most counts he's a more than decent guy.

in his first life he regularly visited hospital inpatients who had no visitors. he was genuinely happy and excited to help Ai deliver her babies, because he wants her to be happy on her own terms. he saves Akane simply because he can, and gets angry at the staff on her behalf. he doesn't stop at saving her life and spends sleepless nights turning around her public image. at that point there was nothing in it for him to keep akane around, she was just a person he was able to help and wanted to help.

by most counts he's a pretty decent guy who steps up when people need him most, except. except he's also a guy who really wants to kill his dad and that makes him manipulate people somewhat often and this is somehow not entirely at odds with his instinct to help others

[dailykugisaki]

Day sixty-three | id in alt

A puppet and a witch.

[paupersnail]

My little queen of hell, my malkavian Nyx.

[rose-does-valve-games]

Valveverse (HL, Portal, L4D, and TF2) Modern Au anyone? I'll drop facts soon

[noiseemaster]

meet my son his name is maunder he has br-HOLY SHIT DID ANYONE ELSE JUST SEE THAT?

[stabbyfoxandrew]

just got a notification from my phone calendar saying "It's almost alfo's birthday, do you want to plan something?"

[adahlenan]

I'm gonna be evergreen.

[iknowicanbutwhy]

Ooooo you wanna give me a box of cookie sooo bad dont you you know you wanna

damn its like ive spent my life on this website or something

[james-a-b]

just want to talk about being aro ace for a minute. bc im having feelings about it again.

when i was a kid, the thing i wanted most out of life was someone who could be next to me in life forever. i wanted a partner. a soulmate. a person who would always be there, someone who i could be there for too. I spent years dreaming about it, wondering what my person would be like.

I had no indication that i would have any difficulty with that until i was around 14. I was waiting to start having feelings for people, like my classmates were beginning to. I dated one who asked me out, because i thought maybe the feelings would develop from there. But they didn't.

i tried dating a few more times after that. I was a teenage girl, and i was attractive, and there was a fair amount of interest from those around me. But I would look at them and i would feel... nothing.

I cried when i realized i was aro ace, at 17. It felt like the only parts of my future i cared about had been torn away from me. Falling in love had been the only thing I'd looked forward to experiencing in life for a long while. I wanted it so badly. i still do. But i had to face my truth sonner or later: i was (am) incapable of experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. i will never feel a romantic connection to anyone. I won't even be attracted to them physically.

and sometimes that's so hard.

i tried dating anyway, but i always felt like i was just leading the other person on. I couldn't return their feelings. And if dating is hard normally, try doing it when you don't have any sort of attraction to guide you towards someone compatible. Try doing it when you feel so guilty over your lack of attraction, something you can't even control.

I know romantic love isn't everything. I know i can live without it. I know it's messy, and difficult, and heartbreaking. but i want it so badly anyway.

sometimes i fall in love in my dreams, and on those days, waking up is so hard. Have you ever had a dream where you could feel something you never could before? It was like flying, and then having that freedom ripped away from you suddenly.

i don't know anyone who feels like i do. I've never met another aro ace person. and i see my life in front of me, but it's just me, alone. and sometimes, everything within me yearns for things to be different.

but it can't be.

[kiwidotcom]

😓😓😓

[monstroso]

when you've been past the worst part of your life long enough that when the depression comes back it feels wrong, it feels like a fluke, a bug in the code and, crucially. it *no longer feels normal*. that's the recovery baby, you fucking made it!!