#This isn't even hitting on the fact that there is a strong case for Bill being a-spec as well.

[aroromantic]

My AroAce BillFord Hot Take

I think more people need to consider the fact that Ford Pines being aroace and the abusive billford relationship/situationship can still exist simultaneously and not even in the "aroace is a spectrum" or "make it queerplatonic instead of romantic/sexual" way.

First off, action and identity are not the same thing. Aroace people enter sexual and romantic relationships for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with attraction.

Second, this all took place in the 70s and 80s. There is a very good chance Ford wouldn't have even known what asexuality or aromanticism was, let alone that he might BE aroace.

Take it from an aroace person who's been there, When you are raised to believe that feeling romantic and sexual attraction are the norm, you can convince yourself that all sorts of strong feelings are romantic and sexual attraction when they aren't.

Ford was literally worshiping Bill as a god. He could fully have mistaken his obsession with and interest in Bill's weirdness as sexual or romantic attraction.

Not to mention, he could have had the very aroace experience of receiving romantic attention from someone he was close to platonically and assuming that going along with it is just "what you're supposed to do."

Basically, amatanormativity is a bitch and I'm very happy for Ford figuring himself out later in life and leaving his abusive ex. Good for him!

And Another Thing! (Part 2)

[kudosmyhero]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (IDW) Micro: Villains #6: Hun

Read Date: April 10, 2023 Cover Date: September 2013 ● Writer: Mike Costa ◦ Ben Epstein ● Art: Mike Henderson ● Colors: Ian Herring ● Letters: Shawn Lee ● Editor: Bobby Curnow ●

**HERE BE SPOILERS: Skip ahead to the fan art/podcast to avoid spoilers

Reactions As I Read: ● I really should go to bed, but these Micros are so compelling ● ohhh shit. I'd wondered what happened between him leaving the hospital and him re-embracing his identity as Hun. never would have guessed Leo (on order of Shredder) was in on it…

● 👏👏👏👏

Synopsis: Arnold Jones is attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He says he's done some bad things in his life, but ultimately he's not a bad guy. It all started when he was a teenager and ran with the Purple Dragons. Eventually he settled down, got married, and had a son (Casey). He tells the group about how his wife got sick with cancer and eventually passed away, and how he turned to alcohol to cope, which caused his and his son's relationship to deteriorate until Arnold hit bottom a month before (as seen in City Fall, part 4). Arnold was upset by Casey getting injured and put in the hospital, and even more upset by the fact that when his son needed him to be strong he couldn't even be strong for himself.

After learning about Casey being in the hospital, Arnold went to the Skara Brae. Brooklyn S. Bridge, Angel's father and the owner of the place, offers him a drink. Brooklyn asks Arnold if he knows who cut his son; Arnold says he doesn't know. Brooklyn says it's partially the fault of his daughter, who's turning the Purple Dragons into a neighborhood watch group, instead of the hardcore gang it once was. Brooklyn tells Arnold that back in the day, no one would've messed with Arnold "Attila the Hun" Jones' son. Arnold says he isn't thirsty and leaves the bar.

On his way home, Leonardo (brainwashed by the Foot Clan) approaches Arnold and tells him to come with him. Arnold, recognizing Leonardo as one of the mutants his son hangs out with, gets angry and tries to attack, but Leonardo easily defeats him and knocks him unconscious. When Arnold comes to, he's tied to a chair in a dark room. The Shredder stands before him. Arnold asks who he is, and Shredder tells him: the man who's about to change his life. Shredder reveals he knows that his son Casey was injured. He asks Arnold how he expects to pay for his sons medical bills, how does he expect to care for him once he leaves the hospital. How does he expect to protect his son from the men who hurt him, who are still out there? Arnold says Shredder doesn't know anything about him, but Shredder says he is wrong. Shredder knows Arnold has been languishing at the bottom of a bottle for years, that his old gang, the Purple Dragons, are divided and leaderless. He tells Arnold he wants him to retake control of the Purple Dragons and work under him. Arnold says he's not the Hun anymore. The Shredder tells him he could be, and opens a briefcase with a vial full of mutagen. Arnold knows its the same stuff that created the turtles and wants nothing to do with it. Shredder tells him that it won't transform him, just make him into the man he used to be, better than the man he used to be. All Arnold has to do is remember who he's working for.

Bulked up from the effects of the mutagen and his hair bleached back to blond, Arnold, the Hun, approaches the Purple Dragons headquarters. Inside, Angel is telling the Dragons that they're not going to get involved in the turf war with the Foot and the Savate Ninja. One of the other Dragons says maybe they should put it to a vote, but Angel says she's in charge. Arnold steps forward and says that's not the case anymore. Angel orders the Dragons to get Arnold out of there. Arnold makes short work of them and forces Angel to relinquish her leadership to him. After retaking control of the Purple Dragons, Arnold went right to work settling debts and doing the Shredder's bidding.

Arnold goes to visit Casey in the hospital. He tells him he's quit drinking and got a job, and that things are going to be different now. He tells Casey that he may be able to come to work with him one day. He gives him a gift and leaves. Casey opens it to find a brand new hockey mask.

Arnold tells the AA group that he still thinks about having a drink every now and then. But then he thinks about his new job, and how good he is at it and how much he enjoys it. He thinks about his son and how now he'll be able to provide for him and he's able to resist that temptation. "One day at a time" he says.

(https://turtlepedia.fandom.com/wiki/Hun_(IDW_issue))

Fan Art: TMNT - Hun by channadeller

Accompanying Podcast: ● Shellheads - episode 46

[alutahits2]

A variety of Health Benefits of Popular music

Best Music site

Music is accommodate for various professional medical advantages including lessening feelings of worry, raising conditions with awareness, evolving mindsets, getting to various facets, building up the cerebrum and is helpful with contemplation - with a huge amount of healthcare advantages.

Best Music site

The truth for the matter is, there isn't any solitary human customs on earth that has been around without music! Such as, local Africans in addition to Americans both applied music through droning for their customs along with mending services. Around Ancient Greece, popular music was utilized to convenience the pressure, lower agony and ease dozing designs. Various have said new music mends the mindset, and it gives the undeniable fact that they were correct!

1-Music Makes You Happier

For the reason that said sometime most recently, music has the ability to undertake as such much. It may possibly fulfill you feel, difficult, energized or even pumped up. Tuning straight into music that gets into you extraordinarily would make your cerebrum release dopamine which is named a vibe quality substance. It helps make us feel thoughts like joy, fervor, happiness, and so on. Tuning in to music grants us a similar broken of satisfaction that individuals would get coming from eating a bit of candy, sex or positive medications.

Another homework demonstrated that beats with a brisk whip played in a popular key fulfilled people feel, while audio with a moderate cycle in a minor essential all the more effectively persuaded sentiments of shame

"I don't perform in light that the I'm glad; I will be upbeat since I play. " - Bill James

Research shows that when you listen up to music you want, your cerebrum discharges dopamine, a "vibe decent" neurotransmitter. Valorie Salimpoor, a neuroscientist at McGill University or college, infused eight music-darlings with a radioactive chemical that ties so that you can dopamine receptors whenever they tuned in to their own most loved popular music. A PET spread around demonstrated that a lot of dopamine were discharged, that naturally made your members feel inner thoughts like joy, fervor, and bliss.

2- Decrease pain

Explore demonstrates that new music treatment and pre-recorded music diminished anguish more than run of the mill remedies for tumor people. Other research demonstrates that it can likewise greatly reduce torment in focused care patients. Come to be that as it may, traditional of music must be traditional, reflective, or even the patient's choice. "One fortunate item about music, when ever it hits you really feel no torment. inch Bob Marley.

Qualified personnel found that tuning in to unwinding beats before surgery reduces nervousness. Truth be told, it is actually significantly more viable compared to being orally managed Midazolam, a medical care frequently used to help pre-operation patients feel languid that additionally comes with gnarly symptoms, like hacking and spewing. Different examinations confirmed that tuning towards relieving music even though resting in bed following open heart medical procedures builds unwinding.

Adequately, 234 million renown surgeries are enjoyed out every year. In case you or an individual you know is going straight into surgery, make certain to share some calming tracks to ease tension. It'd work better, and will definitely have less antagonistic reactions than the prescription drugs they administer

Exploration at Drexel Collage in Philadelphia uncovered that music treatment method and pre-recorded audio diminished torment around standard medicines within malignancy patients. Various research demonstrated that will music can abate torment in strong care patients together with geriatric care affected individuals, yet the choice need to have been either standard piece, thoughtful popular music, or tunes within the patient's picking.

Jump Marley was suitable about this one : tune in to new music you want to take ones torment away

3-Music Helps You Sleep More desirable

"Music washes through the spirit the uncluttered of regular day by day existence. " -- Berthold Auerbach

Around 30% of People today in america experience the ill effects involving sleep deprivation. Some sort of examination demonstrated which understudies who tuned in to unwinding classic music for 49 minutes before giving over rested basically superior to understudies whom tuned in to some sort of book recording or simply did nothing different then their typical lifestyle. In case you're having difficulty resting, please take a stab at tuning in to a little Bach or Mozart prior to when sleep time.

The foremost widely recognized things to meddle with rest are generally pressure and uneasiness (heart rates. ) Since music may well influence both definitely, inquire about provides discovered that tuning inside music at numerous circumstances advances far better rest designs for people and even made a lot more peaceful rest. Occasionally, music may even possess capacity to be employed to viably treat some sleeping disorder.

some - Music Allows you to Eat Less" pounds loss"

"There's your benevolent tie and something to that results amongst music and additionally eating. " : Thomas Hardy

Homework at Georgia Technician University demonstrated this softening the lighting fixtures and music although individuals ate driven them to devour a lesser amount of calories and take advantage of their dinners far more. In case you're looking for approaches to control ones own craving, take a stab at diminishing a lights and tuning in to delicate beats whenever you take a seat for any dinner.

Enable most people to eat less. A investigation found of which playing delicate audio (and darkening that lights) amid a good dinner can make it easy for individuals to back away while eating in addition to at last devour a lesser amount of nourishment in one relaxing (maybe on the environment that backing out of encourages them to be aware of totality signs)

5 -Keeps some sort of aging brain wholesome andMusic Helps Alzheimer's Patients Remember

Study has demonstrated that will having melodic organizing and tuning into or playing popular music in seniority can assist keep the mind good particularly as it grows older. Since tuning straight into music resembles rehearsing the mind, one can believe the advantages of better recollection and mental sharpness as they age.

Without a doubt, even individuals who incorporate some type of cerebrum problems can recover not whole or full the ways to access recollections (contingent at seriousness) by tuning in to music, for the reason that listening can help lure on old memories and neurological types because of the way of the fact that beat and tips of music continue to be inside the center in the psyche for quite a while.

Your non-benefit association labeled as Music & Recollection helps individuals with Alzheimer's Disease and other age-related dementias recall ones own identity by having these individuals tune in to their dearest tunes. The enlivening is regularly out of this world. For instance, after Holly tunes into new music from his moment, this wheelchair-bound dementia sufferer who can hardly talk-sings Cab Calloway melodies and happily thinks back around his life.

6 - Raises IQ and Academic Running: Research demonstrates which youthful kids exactly who take music coaching regularly perform a larger scholastic execution. Within the investigation, 6-year-olds which took piano and also singing lessons previously had essentially expanding IQ and preferred scholastic execution over children's who didn't carry lessons.

It increases scholastic aptitudes, New music and math usually are exceptionally interwoven. Simply by understanding beat, feeling, and scales, small children are figuring out tips on how to partition, make limbs, and perceive patterns. It appears that music terminals a tyke's head to enable him to raised comprehend different areas of math,

Plato had it appropriate when he expressed, "Music and overcome discover their manner into the mystery areas of the spirit. inches No issue no matter whether you're youthful or even old, solid or simply debilitated, cheerful and tragic, music are able to enhance the nature you have ever had from various sides. It decreases burden and tension, elevates your state of intellect, supports your wellbeing, brings about you rest improved, takes away your extreme pain, and even makes you even more brilliant.

[mrsmoonlightsblog]

‘Misogyny still exists in today's society’ 

This essay is written as an expression of anger and frustration towards how women of today’s society are treated.I am disgusted at the normalisation of some behaviours exhibited towards women. I am frustrated at the fact that women are discriminated against in every work of life. They are either seen as too hysterical, too dumb or not strong enough. Women are objectified in many different ways and under- represented in many industries. Decisions they should have over themselves are stripped away from them because a man feels like they know more than a woman. However I find this very ironic because in 2021, a study took place and it was found that 80.6% of girls have a grade C/4 and above whereas boys have about 73.6%, who get  grade C/4 and above in their gcses. This implies that intelligence isn't based on gender, yet knowing that many industries are male dominated, you would say this system already favours a man over a woman. 

As a feminist, I have seen many women talking about their experiences with men and how they feel towards them. Instead of being comforted or congratulated for speaking up, they are always hit with some type of backlash with the title ‘it’s not all men’. We know its not all men that do these acts, in spite of that, its enough men to make women scared to go outside at night in fear of sexual harrassment or even rape.Its enough men to make women feel paronoid everywhere they go or even for this requirement of speaking about these situations.Its really revolting how men feel the need to make themselves feel better and not responsible for how their female counterparts are treated. They dismiss the fact that these women are just talking about their trauma and that they just want support to get through it.Yet in these sensitive situations, they somehow victimise themselves and disregard what the actual victims are saying. This adds to the fact they feel that they have power over what women say; This then leads to many men feeling offended by what we are saying  because they’re starting to feel their 'power' over us women decrease. 

The obligation men feel they need to have to argue with every point a feminist has, is very ludicrous. Most of the time their arguments aren’t logical. For example, they would say, ‘Why would I support women’s rights when men still have to pay the bill at dinner?’. The thing men don’t realise is that feminism fights for women to have the same rights as men which includes financial independence required to split that cheque. And it is not coincidental that a lot of these arguments are illogical; this is because their explanations don’t come from carefully considered reason but panic. A sense of terror that feminists are driven to take away something from men yet that isn’t the point of feminism. We just want gender equality.

Nonetheless, I wouldn’t fully blame men for the fact they feel some type of entitlement towards women and their bodies because society has literally conditioned them that way from young. Society deems men to be providers, show a lack of emotion and to be a ‘man’. This makes up the ideology of ‘toxic masculinity’. From young, men are taught psychologically that they own the world and everything in it - including the women. This is how the principle that women are men’s property or toys develop in their mindsets. If you have read the bible or passages in it, then you are able to see that there are numerous cases of misogyny within the book. One case of misogyny is in Number 26; inheritance was given to the different families within the 12 tribes of Israel and there was one family where they had all daughters. An exception was made where they would eventually get their inheritance once they had married. This story intensifies the idea that women aren't seen capable of handling ownership of a family and feeds into the toxic masculinity that men must be head of the household. Henry VIII  life is a prime example of how men are seen as the superior while women are seen as inferior. He mistreated the women in his life all for the son he so dearly wanted. Men in the tudor era must have adopted some principles from him since he was to be seen as a role model to all men. This conveys that the mistreatment of women has always been intertwined with society one way or another and its form has changed as society develops.

When you look at a videogame, female characters are displayed with very minimal clothing, which expresses the internalised misogyny and sexulisation that women are only meant to be there to please men and their desires. This is concerning because children will adopt these harmful views from a young age. Subconsciously, they are conditioned to think that women are inferior because in these games female characters are disrespected in many different ways. So slowly they will apply these beliefs into real life situations causing them to do inappropriate acts towards women thinking it's acceptable.

As a corollary effect, objectification of women's bodies sets in. To most men, they only see women's bodies as their reproductive organs or what pleasure they can gain from, disregarding the fact that women are humans who have emotions, aspirations and dreams. Just because they have the capacity to make children does not mean that they should be belittled to those functions. Objectification is very dehumanising and actions of it is not a compliment to women. Street harassment is not a compliment to women. Many women face this fear, anxiety, impotence, anger, frustration, misplaced embarrassment and shame from these actions. This is one of the things I think some men do not understand, the men who ask  ‘what's the big deal about street harassment’, the men who say they would love it if it happened to them, or suggest you should just take it as a compliment. It’s not that simple. It’s a horribly drawn - out affair. The process women have when they go out: scanning the street as they walk; the constant alert tension; the moment of revelation and the sinking feeling as they realise what is about to happen. Countless women have written about the defence mechanism they put in place such as walking with keys between their knuckles just to feel safe or wearing their earphones so they can keep their head down and ignore it. The whole process of going out  - particularly at night - can become fraught and difficult.

Another issue women undergo is discrimination within workplaces. There is an underrepresentation of women in different workspaces.The fact that America hasn't yet had at least one female president, being one of the world's superpowers, is an example of this. This shows the subtle implications that men feel like some jobs are too much for a woman to handle. However gender shouldn't be the reason you cannot get a job but your utility to that role. Many men blame it on the supposed uninterest women have in  STEM subjects. However, you should think of it like this. Take a baby, bring it up in a world that screams at it from every angle the certain subjects they should be into and to stay away from the others. Then at the age of fourteen or so, ask them what subjects they want to study. Of course they would choose from the options that they have been given the clear signal they can take, to avoid the unnecessary disappointment they feel like would add to society. 

Women aren’t earning high enough positions or aren’t easily promoted like men because they still see pregnancy as some sort of selfish little jaunt at an employer’s expense. The argument goes that small businesses and corporations shouldn’t be expected to face financial consequences just because women willfully  bounce off to procreate.Contrary to that popular belief, men are somewhere involved in that process as well. Women aren't gleefully knocking themselves with a nine month holiday, they are continuing the human race. Nevertheless, it is unreasonable to let businesses suffer financial cost because of this.This is problematic for business because we haven’t yet sufficiently provided the necessary financial and organisational infrastructure to facilitate this process.

In conclusion, women shouldn't be restricted in their way of life so they can be prevented from horrible situations such as rape.Yet even in doing so, it does not work either way because in many cases women are raped and assaulted by people they know or are close to. We shouldn't reprimand women for their actions but punish the perpetrators for their actions instead. Young boys and men should be taught how to treat everyone equally - including women. It always starts with the younger generation because they copy what the older generations do and if they are taught that mistreatment of women is wrong then women wouldn't be hurt anymore. Women should be able to live their lives however they want to. They should have the right to do what they want as long as they abide by the laws of the land.Young women should be able to grow up not feeling scared to walk alone on the streets. Women should not be seen as second class citizens or beings inferior to men. The ideology of toxic masculinity should be broken down because  it adds to the fuel of the abuse women face on a daily basis. Men and women should be able to coexist together equally. 

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hi!! I know you always goes to different direction when talking numbers, and I like your interpretations, so, what do you think it’d mean if Louis gets that number 1? But also, if he abandons the list the next week, what would it mean for Louis or his career or the album’s success? Thanks!

So I think it's worth separating out two aspects of the music industry - the first is financial viability and the other is symbols of success. Understanding that these are not the same thing and that some measures of success do not contribute at all to financial viability is key to understanding what any of these figures mean.

It's always been the case that songwriters get paid for radio plays in the US, but performers do not. So a radio hit, while it has lots of flow on effects, has never paid the bills. Streaming has exacerbated this - it's essential for the perception of success, it's not necessarily going to pay the bills.

So the first thing to say is that this is making good money, both for Louis and BMG. Even with the discounts and incentives - selling something is a good path to financial viability. There are caveats - when it comes to finances absolute numbers matter more than position, and while it's good to sell albums, touring is more important.

As far as symbols of success - a number one album is definitely up there. The charts are an institution within music so it means a lot to people just on its own terms. In addition, it brings legitimacy. All those things that some fans like to complain that Louis isn't on? It's hard to tell how much that's about timing and priorities (he's in an awkward position when it comes to BBC radio - he's not of the moment enough for Radio `1, or cool enough for Radio 6, but he probably doesn't want to consign himself to Radio 2 at this point of his career). But a number 1 does make things easier, it makes it easier for bookers to say yes and it helps loosen spending money.

I think there are probably specific impacts for Louis Tomlinson, former boyband member, having a second album that does better than the first and reaches number 1. The expectation for boyband members is that they're a flash in a pan. Having a strong first album doesn't counter that narrative - and can be attributed to left over fans. Having a second album that does better than the first bring him out of the vortex of assumptions about boyband members.

As for the fact that Faith in the Future will not hold its position - I think to ask what impact it would have on Louis' career sort of ignores the nature of his career. Louis' support is deep rather than wide and everyone knows that. Having a dedicated fanbase is a really important part of a sustainable career. Would there be advantages to being big on streaming - sure there would. But there'd also be costs, in terms of the implications

[feralgoblinchild]

Fun facts that SUCK about chronic illness:

I have POTS-Postural Orthoststic Tachycardia Syndrome among other issues, but the POTS makes me pass out and makes me feel like I'm about to pass out. It also flares up REALLY bad if I have to miss my antidepressants (I can't afford $188/month for that AND another $188/month for my heart meds so sometimes I don't get to take either unless my mom covers the cost for me right now). Chronic illness is EXPENSIVE!!!!!!! This doesn't include medical debt I've accumulated. Thats literally just two of my medications monthly cost right now. Insurance systems don't work. They make people even more sick.

With antidepressant withdrawals, mine makes me violently vomit. One day when I was JUST BARELY able to not vomit all over all the surfaces in my work, one of my coworkers asked how I was doing on my lunch. I was honest and explained how shitty I felt. He said he meant it as a compliment, but you can't tell that in feeling bad at all. We learn to mask disability and illness because its so much easier than explaining to every customer or patient that you're chronically ill and drinking more water or meditating will not cure your neurological dysfunction. No matter how well meaning they are. We can be at an 8 or a 9 on a feeling shitty scale and a good percentage of people may not be able to tell. I've worked through passing out multiple times in a shift. No one would have known if it hadn't happened in the middle of a case or I hadn't told them. Couldn't move the next day, but I worked through it.

We have to be so obnoxiously careful to not overextended ourselves or we pay for it the next day/later that day. I take too hot a shower and I can't sleep for hours because of the palpitations. I forget my compression socks my head might become a fishbowl on a merry-go-round. I don't get to take my meds, I feel like I can't catch my breath. I let myself overheat, I hit the ground. But we've learned that we have limits, and we're constantly fine tuning those limits. Sometimes we push past it for one reason or another, but we'll always pay for it when we do.

I can't afford basic medical care. The US has an excessively flawed system. I literally can't afford medications to make me not pass out. I have to have help from my parents when I'm almost 30 just to afford my medical bills. And this isn't even doctors appointments. We CANNOT continue to allow this country to run healthcare on insurance. It's damn well past time for socialized healthcare. It took me a fucking year to get in to see my dysautonomia specialist, so don't you DARE tell me ITS gonna make it sO mUcH lOnGeR tO wAiT NOT THAT MUCH LONGER BUDDY IT TOOK 2-3 YEARS FROM WHEN MY AYMOTOMA GOT BAD ENOUGH TO SEEK MEDICAL CARE TO THE TESTING TO DIAGNOSE IT. TWO TO THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE LIFING WITHIUT A DIAGNOSIS TO AN ILLNESS THAT TOOK ME OUT OF MY DREAM JOB, ENTIRELY OUT OF MY FIELD, AND LEFT ME SCRAMBLING TO FIND ANY JOB I COULD PHYSICALLY DO

And I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm able to stand up to work sometimes. I'm able to enjoy active activities if I've spent enough time resting. I'm not entirely reliant on my wheelchair. I have a doctor who cared enough to get me a parking placard. I made enough money in my dream job to start looking into what was going on. My parents make enough money to help me. I'm LUCKY over here with my life falling apart in so many ways. There are people who can't even afford a diagnosis to take to a disability hearing, but disability will be damned if you don't have a diagnosis.

Disabled and chronically ill people struggle on the daily, regardless of government's decision on their disability, regardless of the degree of their illness. We fight tooth and nail and claw and every last possible tool we can find, down to the last dirt clod we can throw. If you're dealing with any disability or chronic illness, no matter the extent, no matter the type, know you're strong just for being here right now, even if scrolling on Tumblr is all you could manage today. Ita hard as hell dealing with this crap. And you're fighting every day to stay here. That's hardcore if I've ever seen it

[hardforbenhardy]

somebody to love | rogerxreader

summary: roger fucking taylor. the boy in your biology class. the boy you’ve had a crush on for years. the boy who doesn’t know you exist. has recognised your existence. 

warnings: swearing, drinking, references to sex and stripping

word count: 4.0k

the first chapter of my upcoming fanfic! i’ve been working on this for a while, and it’s still not finished so i’m not sure how often i’ll update, but i’m planning on having a taglist for it so if people do like it, they can be alerted of when it comes out (if you want to be added, just pm me or send in a request!) i’m immensely proud of it and i think it’s some of my best writing - a lot of research went into it so i’m happy with the outcome so far and i hope you will be too. enjoy!! :)

There truly was no worse day than a Saturday.

I know, I know - but Saturday's are the best! There's no school, no work, you can sit around and chill all day, or go out clubbing with all your friends; maybe even pull a dude or two...

That may be the case for every single other person in the world, disincluding you. You see, your life is a little different to the usual person. Most people do spend their weekends sitting around, or going out with their friends, pulling girls and guys every night. You, on the other hand, spend it studying and working. You can safely say that taking a BSc in Biology at North East London Polytechnic was maybe the biggest mistake of your life yet. Don't get yourself wrong, you am good at it. In fact, you’re top of my class - you just struggle to balance all the studying with your job and family life.

Hence why you are sat at your dinner table, surrounded by a sea of glossy biology textbooks which contain much more information than your brain is willing to retain at this point. The words had began twisting in your eyes, no longer forming sentences but rather just squiggles on a page. Your pretty sure you have read the same page 3 times in the past hour, all information going through one ear and straight out the other. What the fuck was a bacteriophage? Or what about it being icosahedral or filamentous? And what was the difference between the lytic stage and the lysogenic stage? At this point, those weren't even words. Okay, so maybe you have been sitting here since 11 this morning, it now being 7 in the evening, but this was your standard Saturday. Having work every weekday in the evenings - 7:30pm until 3:00am - with your classes then starting as early as 9:00 on certain days, you didn't exactly have enough time to study on weekdays. Sleep was practically nonexistent for you by now, you were lucky to even get in 4 hours a night. Unfortunately for you, work also existed on Saturdays. You are probably thinking why don't you study on Sundays? Well, because Sundays were family days - you’d have to travel 3 hours to see your Ma and Pa, who would tell you how proud they were of you, doing a BSc in a subject that would get you far, and having a solid job that brought income for the whole family. Granted, they had absolutely no idea what your job actually was - and it isn't something they will ever know - but you don't really have a choice. You need to pay for your accommodation somehow, and contribute to the families bills after your father got fired from his job and went into severe debt. Therefore, it was a job you resorted to. In fact, you have work in 30 minutes, and here you are - trying to cram in a chapter's worth of course content for a test you had on Monday, surviving on nothing but coffee and energy bars.

You felt your arms begin to weaken under the weight of your head as you placed it into your palms, your eyes beginning to flutter shut as you gradually dozed off, the lack of sleep taking it's revenge. It wasn't until the loud, boisterous voice of your roommate interrupted the silence.

"Y/N, darling, have you seen my- Oh, love, what on earth is this disaster?" He cringed, sitting opposite you on the table, as you frantically sifted through the mound of worksheets for one in particular. "Look, darling, you need to sort this out. You look like you've been dragged through the bushes and back - you have work in 26 minutes and you are not even dressed!"

"Wow, thanks Freddie. Look, I don't really have a choice - if I don't have this topic nailed, I may just fail my exam, and then what? My life rides on this Fred, and I'm completely and utterly fucked if I fail." you wearily ranted, a yawn escaping your lips, which certainly didn't go unnoticed by Fred, as he placed a fresh mug of coffee in front of you - unbeknownst it was your fourth one tonight.

"Y/N, don't be so dramatic - there is only room in this flat for one hysterical queen, and I'm afraid I took that role many years ago. There is absolutely no way that you, Y/N M/N L/N, could ever fail a biology exam - you are the top of your class, and as much as you deny it, you know this content like the back of your hand. Look, I'll prove it - what is a bacteriophage, and what are the three possible shapes?"

"It's a virus which can infect and kill bacteria - the capsid of a bacteriophage can be icosahedral, filamentous, or head-tail in shape." The words simply rolled off your tongue, as you kept my focus on the textbook in front of you.

"Told you so, bet you were questioning in your head just 5 minutes ago what the fuck a bacteriophage is, and all that other shit you just said. I know you like the back of my hand, darling - you underestimate yourself far too much. Now put the fucking books away and get ready for work!" He nagged, taking a long sip of the glass of champagne he had acquired out of nowhere - typical Freddie. You didn't even respond, just simply rolled your eyes before rising to your feet to head upstairs. Freddie knew how much you hated your job, it was not exactly one praised by society. You’re what people would call an exotic dancer - or more commonly known as a stripper. It wasn't an occupation you asked for, it was rather one that was simply opened at a rather opportune moment for you. You can safely say yoinwill be taking the chance to quit as soon as you get your degree and can move on, but you’re stuck with it for the time being. You hate it on multiple levels - the feeling of having multiple older men's gaze set on your body, as if you were some kind of object, their minds wandering to all the things they could do to you if given the chance - it wasn't exactly a nice feeling. It is truly disgusting the amount of times you have been called a whore, slut, slag, floozie, tart, or prostitute - the list is ultimately endless at this point. What is even funnier is that it tends to be these same people who then turn up to your showings later on in the evening, indulging in your performance like every other male in the club. To make it worse, people often tell you you’re lucky to have guy's attention all the time - as if you should be proud of the fact that you have a body and face admirable by men. You always thought that was complete and utter bullshit - why the fuck should a guys validation make youbody and face suddenly attractive? Thankfully, most of the men who came to the club tended to be a little older than yourself - meaning there was never any guys from the university, or even better your class, who would come by. The only person who actually knows your truth is Freddie - who even though he did disapprove of it, would always try to cheer you up and make you feel more confident about it. You see, Freddie is extremely overprotective of you, he treats you like his little sister - he always wants you out of harm's way, always makes sure you were eating and getting at least 5 hours of sleep each night, always lends you money in your most desperate times of need, and opened his home to you the night you met him. It's funny actually - you remember that night so extremely vividly. He had come along to one of your performances, and ended up bumping into you backstage - you engaged in a conversation which lasted nearly the whole night, and before you knew it, it was 2am. He asked to walk you home, to which you simply had to reply with the fact you didn't have one and you were just planning on crashing on the couch in your dressing room. Of course, Freddie being Freddie invited you back to stay with him - any other person would be immediately cautious of the request, but at this point you had nothing to lose. And here you are, a month later and you were now living with him. He was basically the best roommate you could ask for.

The club is like a second home, or house - you wouldn't consider it very homely. Although the case was rare, if there was ever a point you couldn't stay at Freddie's, they allow you to sleep on the couch in the dressing room. Thankfully, your colleagues and the manager are all extremely nice people, it is more the visitors who get on your nerves and made you sick to the stomach. Basically a majority of the other girls you work with are in the same position than you; they are either college students just trying to pay off debt, or teenage mothers whose boyfriends left them after finding out they were pregnant who were trying to finance their child - everyone had their own individual story but in a way, you were all similar. Like you said, it is a second home to you, so when you stepped inside for the 6th time this week, it felt no different. The strong smell of booze and drugs no longer hit you like a brick, but rather became a second nature to your brain. The booming music, blaring at top volume from speakers which were scattered in nearly every crevice of the room, had become the norm for your eardrums - which realistically is bad for your health, but you didn’t think that's the thing that'll kill you at this point. The masses of men crowded around tables no longer made your stomach churn, now it just became the same old same old. You weren’t actually on stage until 8:00 tonight, so you don't know why they had you in half an hour early - you had already finished your makeup and got dressed. You leant against the bar, downing the first of what would be many complimentary drinks you would receive over the night - as much as you hated the job, it did have it's benefits. Free booze was probably the best thing to come out of it, when men would buy you drinks in hopes of getting you in their bed - all of them being nearly twice your age, they were never successful, but it was fun to watch 'em try. They would often strike up a conversation with you, the topic of which was always him, meaning you’d stand there responding with simple nods and the occasional burst of laughter - your mind in a completely different world of its own, usually a world of worry and anxiety of failing your exams.

"So, where is it you work? I could definitely see you working in an office or as a lawyer, I can imagine you would look very professional in a pantsuit, or even on the front cover of Vogue, you certainly have the body" The man, who had now situated himself beside you, practically purred. Was he seriously asking where you worked? What an imbecile. The whole ordeal is making you sick to your stomach, earning an eye roll in an instant - though you thought you’d play along to see where exactly he was going to go with this.

"Well, you wouldn't be interested in my life..." you laughed lightly, slowly and seductively inching closer to him. "But... I'm interested in yours. Tell me, where is it you're from, I love your accent."

"Oh, well I'm sure that isn't true, but I was actually born and bred in Italy - I moved here a few years ago, but thankfully I never lost the accent; it's a great tool for getting the girls in bed - especially the incredibly tempting ones such as yourself." He purred down your ear, you felt his breath on your neck and yourblood suddenly ran cold, as he placed his hand against the curve of your spine. Tempting?

You laughed under your breath in utter disbelief, your blood began to boil - how can someone be so small minded and narcissistic, yet spend their weeks in a strip club. "So you think I'm tempting?"

"Obviously, I mean you're super sexy and you really turn me on." He winked, and you stared at him incredulously.

"Well, you wanna know what I find incredibly tempting about you?" - he didn't speak, just simply nodded as he took a large gulp, as if he was intimidated by you. You moved closer, so that your hand was now placed against his inner thigh, and raised to your tiptoes - "There's just a deep pit burning in me, it's almost irresistible - just the thought of it is alone is so extremely enticing. I just have this immense desire to..." you whisper seductively in his ear, right as you ram your knee between his legs, making him cry out in a yell of pain and fall to his knees. " Do that." you grinned, before grasping the drink from the counter and gradually pouring it onto his head, the alcohol seeping through the thin material of his shirt, surely leaving him in a satisfying discomfort for the rest of the night, as if the hit to the balls wasn't enough. "And that"

"What the fuck? You fucking bitch!" He screamed, his voice going higher than you ever thought a man's voice could go, probably a side effect of his now undoubtedly swollen and painful misters.

You didn't respond, simply sashaying away as you raised my middle finger in his direction. You must say, after months of working in this club, you have practically become immune to the disease you like to call men. They just don't turn you on anymore. Don't get yourself wrong, not all men are like that - for example, Freddie is undoubtedly one of the sweetest human beings to walk this earth - but it seems like the men you’re surrounded by are basically parasites. Probably just a side effect of working in the hornets' nest, all kinds of trouble was stirred up in this building, it pretty much became the second (less sexual) form of entertainment for the customers. And you guess it's just your luck, because now it's your calltime. Your favourite time of the night - not. You entered the door, sighing a little. Come on, Y/N, you got this girl, just a little while longer and you can be back in the comfort of your bed. You always have to give yourself a little pep talk as you walk towards the door of what was, in a way, the gateway into Hell. That's if hell was a strip bar full of cheap and sleazy, lest we forget to mention mostly married men. All staring at you like food on a silver platter. It is quite frankly, disgusting. The walkway this week had silky, white curtains that the dancers usually appear through; as if to give the 'illusion' of us being 'angels appearing through the veil of the heavens'. You called bullshit on that one, that's also partly the reason your outfit was made up of a satin white robe, covering your lacy white lingerie. They also recently decided that the dancers should dust themselves with gold glitter before going onstage - thinking it might make you seem a little more angelic. Of course it doesn't, but you couldn’t lie - you looked incredible; the insubstantial underwear hugs your body in all the right places, yet still leaving little to the imagination; and the shimmer of gold across your chest only accentuating it more as the bright lights radiates your skin; your long locks flowing down your back, swinging with every step you took as you saunter onto the stage. Sudden cheers and whistles erupted from the crowd, the oh so familiar sound permeating the room with energy and excitement. The noise only increased as you little by little slid the satin piece down your shoulders to reveal the straps of the two-piece underneath, letting it slide down your body completely and pool around your feet on the floor. Usually, you would feel comfortable on stage, the fact you were borderlining nudity wouldn't phase youbone bit; but something felt different tonight. You have the same audience, the same form of outfit, same routine - but something feels strange, out of place, and you can't quite decipher it. You brush it off, knowing it's probably just nerves, and continue with your set - swaying around the stage, showing off your assets from every angle; and that's where you saw him.

Hidden in the corner of the room, he sat in a dimly lit spot making him barely visible thanks to the broken light which had been smashed a few days ago in a drunken bar fight. Perching forward in a lounge chair, he continually lifted the lit cigarette that was resting between his middle and index fingers towards his rosy lips, taking long drags every few seconds. As his golden, scraggly-but-still-well-groomed locks were clinging to the sides of his face, you notice his steel blue gaze dancing over your body as he scans you up and down.

Roger Fucking Taylor.

The same Roger that was in your biology class. The same Roger that was constantly trying to one up you and be the top of the class (unsuccessful in his attempts of course). The same Roger that you had had a crush on since you the course. The same Roger that didn't even know you existed. He had never been partnered with you, never spoken to you, never even looked in your direction. When you first entered the course, you had heard all about Rogers, how do I put this nicely, reputation with the ladies - making youbinstantly cringe at the utter disrespect of some of the things he had apparently done with them. But after a few weeks, you couldn't help but be drawn to him - he has an undeniable charm that he probably doesn't even know he's using half of the time, he is incredibly intelligent, and it is indisputable that he is the human form of the Greek God, Adonis, himself. You hate yourself for feeling this way, you always attempt to push it down as you know it'll do you no good in the long run. Like I said, Roger is known for his wild adventures with the women; and you weren’t one to participate in the activities of said adventures. Having a job as a stripper, people expect me to be extremely confident and out there, a lively socialite who is the life of the party, always being the centre of attention. I am, in fact, the complete opposite. When I'm not at work, I'm exceedingly reserved and introverted - I have one friend, Freddie; I only ever contribute to class when asked a question, other than that I sat at the back taking my own notes; I spend any spare time I have at home watching tv or reading a book. Therefore, I know I have a 0.00001% chance of Roger even acknowledging my existence - which I am fine with. I accepted my defeat months ago. And now, he's sat here watching me dance around, practically naked.

After finishing my set, I pace off stage- praying to Jesus that Roger didn't recognise it was me. He barely even notices me in lessons - surely he doesn't know me. What if he does though? What if he goes around school telling all his friends that I'm a fucking stripper? I'd be well and truly fucked - and not in the good way. I have never left the club faster than I did tonight, throwing on my clothes and fleeing through the backstage exit. My head is pacing, as clouds of worry and thought occupy the space - how am I ever going to face Roger again? What if he tells people? What if he is disgusted by me? I can feel my hand shaking as I try to unlock the apartment door, in which I throw open and slam behind me.

"Home so early, darling?" I could hear Freddie's voice from the living room shouting through, before the loud pop of the champagne bottle in his hand - presumably his second tonight. I threw my bag to the side before storming into the room and slumping down next to Freddie on the couch, releasing a large sigh.

"Yeah, work wasn't great" I groaned, noticing Freddie gesturing for me to take the bottle in his hand, to which I took a big swig in response; making Freddie chuckle.

"When is your work ever great? What's wrong, love?" He raised from the couch to grab himself a glass, knowing I'm not giving up this wine bottle as easily as he hoped.

"As you know, a majority of the men we get at the club are at least twice my age. Well, you remember Roger Taylor right?" I mumbled, focusing my attention to Freddie's glass which he held out in front of me, pouring the liquid in slowly as to not spill it all over the both of us.

"From your class? The one you have an undeniable love for? Yeah, I know him. What did he do?"

"Well, he turned up. He was sat in the back of the room. What am I to do Fred? What if he tells people that my job is basically prostitution? My life will be ruined. Not only that, but now my crush has seen me borderline naked, and prancing around the stage like some kind of... well, stripper" I cringed at the thought, it sounded a little stupid. Surely, I'd want my crush to see how good looking I can be? Not one bit.

"Oh god, what on earth was he doing there? Sounds like you have a bit of blackmailing yourself - Roger Taylor in a strip club-"

"Is exactly where I'd expect to find him if I'm being honest Fred - you know what he's like. I'd be surprised if it wasn't a place he visited everyday" I chimed in, I'm not lying. He is exactly the type of cocky, arrogant little shit who would find bliss in a strip club.

"Look, everything will be fine - you have two options, darling. You can either avoid him for the rest of your life, hoping he doesn't share the secret and ultimately ruin your life forever. Or you can fucking own it, and strut into school tomorrow like you are the shit and give Roger a piece of your mind - it's up to you, but I'm rooting for the second" Fred explained, trying reason with the one person he would never be able to reason with. I am quite stubborn when I want to be, and now is one of those occasions. "Now get to sleep, if you are home this early you should take advantage of it. Oh, do you have the money for rent?"

"Shit. Fuck. Fred I'm so sorry - I left in such a rush that I forgot to pick it up. I'll pay you Monday? I'm so sorry" I frettered, eyes widening at the realisation I not only couldn't pay Freddie, but I also can't pay my parents when I go down tomorrow.

"Darling, it's fine - I'll give you this week free of charge. You deserve it with all your hard work!"

Mouthing a small 'thank you', I smiled and nodded before slumping upstairs to my bedroom. As I reached my bed, I noticed all my biology books, which were previously scattered across the living room table, all stacked in the order of importance for the exam on Monday. I grinned to myself at Freddie's attempt of helping me study, although I know he only did it because he hates when I leave my books around the apartment. I can barely sleep, my eyes are refusing to close and my mind wanders back to Roger with every attempt of rest. I can't help but agonise over the situation; knowing something was going to go wrong and my life was going to be ruined.

[spookysanta]

daddy’s girl. (e.d.)

Summary: he's been watching her and she knows it. He's yearning for her, and he’ll have her, but she has to finish high school first. 

Pairing: Ethan Dolan xReader

WARNINGS: age gap (38 vs 18), creep shit

SAY NOTHING IM WRITING A NEW SERIES JUST READ IT AND TELL ME IF IT SUCKS 

DISCLAIMER! PLEASE READ: in this, the girl (cairo) is of LEGAL age. he (ethan) refers to her as a child bc yanno.... he's almost 40 here. this isn't on any pedophile stuff, okay? just for clarification. AND as i was writing this i got jake gyllenhaal vibes from this, but then i figured ethan could be the “sexy dad” in the future (so to speak)—which is what i was kinda going for; like a man that’s older but is so irresistibly gorgeous, even young girls swoon over him.

UNEDITED

****

******

She'd caught his eye. 

And he doesn't know how it came to be this way; he thought he was done messing around like this ages ago. But here he was, a thirty-eight-year-old man, watching an eighteen-year-old girl cheer at his neice's high school's football game. 

She sees him though; as if he's staring into her soul. As she finishes her tumbling routine in the halftime show, her eyes dart in his direction and his never leave her. She shivers slightly--

Who is that man? she wondered, walking away from the field to distract herself. 

**

She stands at the cash register, swiping his items across the scanner. "Did you find everything okay?" she asked in a monotone voice, looking at the clock on the register's screen. 

"Yes, I did. Thank you." the man responded, fishing in his wallet for cash as he already knew how much two bottles of red wine cost. "Do you need to see ID?"

"Yes, I--" she paused, looking at the man for the first time during their interaction. This was the man from the football game! She couldn't have forgotten those pearly eyes that bore into hers, and definitely didn't forget the way he ironically made her feel when their eyes locked. "I-I do."

"You okay?" he asked with a chuckle as he handed her his driver's license. He knew exactly who she was, and after a bit of research, he knows that she's what he wants. And, likewise, he knew that she remembered him. That in itself was exciting because now he knew where she was from 9-2 every Saturday--which meant he'd be seeing her a lot more. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

She glanced at the line forming behind him and shook her head at the idea of her confrontation. She took the card and read the birthdate carefully. "1980." she muttered, handing it back to him. "Your total's $18.20."

He handed her a $20, grabbing the bottles of wine by their necks and smirking. "Keep the change."

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome, Cairo. See you around."

**

She lay in her bed, wondering why this man clouded her thoughts. What was it about him that made him so intriguing? Yes, he was attractive, but he was more than twice her age--shouldn't that mean that he was repulsive to her? Should she shy away from this man and his beauty?

Ethan.

If there's anything she knew about men, it's that older men (well, boys, in her case) don't usually have the girl's best interest in mind. But no matter how many cons appear on this list, the only pro she seems to think of is the fact that he looked at her like he knew her already. His hazel eyes were almost magnetizing her brown ones to his gaze, and the energy was too strong to pull it away.

**

He's come to the realization that he's hooked on her.

He wants her, no--needs her. 

And he knows how crazy that sounds with all of the odds stacked against him (namely, her being a child by his comparison) but he'll admit they'd look absolutely perfect together. 

And there's nothing he won't do until they're in love.

**

day one.

She walked home from school every day. Three-fifteen on the dot, Monday through Friday. Sometimes, she takes the after-school bus after her cheer practices, and that drops her off on the same corner but at five-thirty. He sees her walk down Linden Avenue, then make a left on Conch Street, and then go into the tiny brick house at the end of the lively culdesac. Sometimes he sees her through her window at night, laying in her bed soundly. It takes everything in him each night to not climb up the big pine tree to the second floor, open the already unlocked window—she doesn't lock it anymore because the lock can get finicky at times and it can get quite hot in San Bernadino in May—and breathe in the same air as her.

Just once.

Just once, he wants to be there for her—hold her, kiss her, smell her, taste her.

Is that too much to ask?

Just one more month, he reminds himself as he perches himself on his porch chair, watching her walk into her home with her friend, Janelle.

He does not like Janelle.

Janelle has a tendency to be a bit manipulative when it comes to Cairo; she wants the best for her, of course. But she's always making Cairo go to parties that she doesn't want to go to, or do things that Cairo doesn't typically do.

Cairo's a good girl who doesn't need to be bombarded with social...ick.

"She's a good girl," he mumbled, palms set on his knees with white fingertips. "My good girl."

***

She continued her walk to the store like she usually does on Sunday mornings in the spring. Yes, she does work at the store, but why not stop by and visit her favorite co-workers while she picked up her favorite ice cream?

"Good morning, Edith!" she greeted to the elderly woman stood behind the customer service desk. She resembled Jane Goodall in a way; caring, generous, kind. "How are you today?"

"Hey, sweetie! I'm alright, hope you're doing well. Say 'hi' to Katherine for me!" she replied with a wave, going into the employee's lounge.

"Will do!" she wandered to the frozen food section, her coffee brown eyes set on the cookie dough ice cream in the freezer. With happy alarms blaring in her head, she grabbed a pint from the shelf, going immediately to the checkout line to pay for her dessert. "Hey Ricky." she said to the cashier.

"Hey, Cai." he responded, ringing up her ice cream and setting it on the counter. "$4.68. Got your employee ID on you?"

She fished through her wallet and came up emptyhanded. "Shoot. I must've left it at home." she sighed. "It's cool, I'll pay full price."

"Nah, I got you." he took a card out of his front pocket, swiped it, and put in his pin. "There ya go. $2.27."

"Thanks, Ky. I owe you one." She handed him a five dollar bill, keeping the cash fold of her wallet open so she could put her change in it.

"You know what you could do for me so we're even?" he opened the cash drawer, taking out her change and handing it to her.

"What?"

"Go to dinner with me." he wrote on her freshly printed receipt. "It doesn't have to be fancy, but if you're interested, you should hit me up sometime."

"Sure. I'd love to." she smiled, putting the receipt with her change and grabbing her ice cream off the counter. "We'll talk tonight?"

"Totally. See you around."

"See you!"

**

She entered the house again and put her ice cream in the fridge. "Ma!" she yelled into her mother's office as she passed it. "Ms. Edith at Ben's said 'hi'!"

"Aw, how sweet of her to think of me!" she said with a smile. "I'll have to send you by her house with a plate of cookies this week."

She groaned inwardly. Edith's a nice woman, but Cairo's mother, Katherine, does not conjure up her life-changing cookies on any given day. Which means that she would make a small batch—just enough for Edith and her husband, Clarke—and then, poof! No-one's going to see those cookies until Christmastime. Bounding up the staircase and into her bedroom, practically leaping onto her bed with a sigh.

Meanwhile, he was watching her still. He didn't even think to consider the idea of someone catching him stare at this girl, sat in the rocking chair on his front porch, watching her intently through a pair of zooming binoculars while she boredly scrolled through her phone. Quite frankly, he wouldn't care at all. If someone were to walk by and ask him what he was doing, he'd merely say: "Protecting my girl."

He doesn't give a damn if she took a glance out her window and saw a man—that man—staring back at her. Knowing her, which obviously he does, she'd probably scream for her mom and tell her mom to come and look because "there's a strange man" looking at her through her window. And then her mom would come and look but by then he'd be back in his home across the way from hers, in his bedroom, watching her panic through the telescope he'd set up.

That'd be a gift to himself, really. Because he knows deep within that she thinks about him. Even though maybe the thoughts are of worry or panic and not ones of admiration, all he cares about is the fact that he's invaded her thoughts just like she's invaded his.

[bitchfromthecrypt]

This Book Belongs To: Melody

Synopsis:

Sometimes, life doesn't go quite the way you’d expect.

Death however, never goes the way you’d expect.

Melody Adler; daughter, mother, widow.

She was a woman of many words, and even more talents, a kind soul who strives for the very best at every turn.

She longed to one day move her mother and daughter out of her rundown apartment, far away the hustle and bustle of the city.

Unfortunately, none of that matters because she's dead.

Melody woke up in the middle of an empty field, left with nothing but her new diary, her memories, a whole lot of questions and no one to ask them to.

At first she couldn’t tell if she was in hell or heaven.

Then she met Her.

And it all went down hill from there.

———————————————————————

Criticsm is always welcome and greatly appreciated!!!! I’m a new writer and I’m making up 99% of this as I go lol

Hope you enjoy!!!

Double chapter cause the first ones incredibly short

Entry Two

I'm going to go for a walk.

I can't sit here twiddling my thumbs for all eternity.

I'm not sure I could stand it.

Although it's not like exercising would do me any good.

Not much affects me nowadays.

Not physically.

I miss it, the groundedness of a body.

I can still see myself, I can see my hands, my thick black hair, my dark skin.

And yet, nothing is quite solid.

I'm weightless.

Thinking back, when I first arrived here, I panicked, as any sane person would.

All I could think about was how difficult it was to take a deep breath.

It hasn't changed.

I can't feel air in my lungs anymore.

When I touch something, I go through it.

Everything intertwines, it’s almost like locking hands with someone.

No, it's more like running your hands through water.

It's near impossible to describe, all I can truthfully say is how unsettling it is to never feel the ground underneath you.

I should leave soon.

“Last night" lasted a very long while.

I may have time to wait for light, but I do not have the patience.

I will not lie here and wait for nothing.

Idle hands and all that.

Entry Three

I wasn't trying to get lost, obviously.

I don't enjoy not knowing where I am.

Then again, that's more of a constant these days.

I didn't want to return.

I couldn't. Not yet.

It's too much.

Waking up everyday to the same empty sky and knowing for a fact that there's no one.

No one and nothing other than you and your memories that seem like they took place so long ago.

I just wanted to breathe.

Besides, it's not like I wouldn't wake up right back where I started.

It's happened the last twenty times.

I just wanted to see something different.

Unfortunately, there was only the forest.

I couldn't tell you how long I walked, only that if I was alive I would've passed out miles before I'd stopped.

I was pleased to see that the trees seem to get bigger the deeper you go, anything different is a breath of fresh air.

I was however, unsettled to see the path follows you, no matter where you step.

If I took my eyes off it, even for a second, even just to blink, it would be miles ahead of wherever I had planned to walk.

Little things like that remind me of where I am now.Of what I am now.

It truly takes what little charm this place could ever have and rips it to shreds.

It got dark.

I thought I'd stay longer, no point in being afraid of the dark when nothing is there to kill you.

Not that anything could to begin with.

I walked until I couldn't tell if it was still night or if it was day, as the trees were so dense, so packed together, their branches deeply intertwined, almost tangled.

I couldn't see my own hand in front of my face.

They arched over me.

To keep me trapped. Or to shield me.

I don't think I’m meant to know which.

I walked further still.

I lied down right where I stood and slept on the ground.

I was reminded of my own bed.

I got the frame on sale for 7 dollars, a great deal, but at the time it was a big purchase.

The mattress, I got from my mother's oldest church friend henrietta.

Her son went away to college and his mattress had been used for so long she didn't think it would sell well.

Plus she'd do anything to help out poor little Loretta and her starving daughter.

That's one thing I don't miss.

We were a tight knit community, which meant everyone knew everyone's business, and they damn sure had something to say about it.

Every single time we went to church or school, someone had to bring it up.

My mother worked her behind off cleaning their houses and cleaning up after their kids, just to make sure we had everything we needed, only to be told to her face and behind her back that it would never be enough.

Pity and prayers don't pay bills.

And in most cases I wouldn't call what they felt for us pity.

Anyway, the bed was horrid.

Sleeping on the ground felt only slightly worse. And it smelled a lot better.

Perhaps the tangent made me restless but I could not sleep.

Something felt wrong.

Not bad necessarily, just off. I felt like I was being watched.

And I knew it was silly of me, I hadn't seen so much as a tick in this entire forest.

Still, I felt eyes on me.

After a while I couldn't take it anymore.

I spoke.

Nothing much, I only asked if anyone was there.

I knew in my head it was ridiculous, I wasn’t that much of a fool.

I just felt this need. A need be around another human, another animal even.

I just couldn’t help but think that maybe, somewhere out in this forest there was some little creature sitting all alone in this dark, watching me sleep.

Maybe it just needed to be around someone too.

Most likely not, but common sense isn't a strong suit of mine right now.

I haven't had much need to practice.

Of course nothing responded.

But I wasn’t ready to give up on my fantasy yet.

I stood and called out to it again.

Silence.

The air fell still as I waited for something, anything.

I didn’t breathe for fear that I’d miss it.

And still, complete silence.

I sighed to myself and lied back down, form in my previous belief that there was, indeed no on there.

That I was alone.

That all I could do was sit down, shut up, and go to sleep.

The unchanging realm would be waiting for me in the “morning”, and it was pointless to think differently.

I fell into a depressing silence, I closed my eyes, and I let myself drift into unconsciousness.

Hoping that maybe this time, I at least wouldn’t wake up to face the same blank sky again.

Then the sound.

A snap.

It was so faint I almost missed it.

But I heard it, I know I did.

A twig snapped.

It was so close, I could've reached it in five paces.

I had never yearned for a flashlight so desperately, I would've killed for a bit of moonlight in that moment.

I guessed where the sound had come from, and darted after it.

I was never even sure if it was really there, I almost gave up, until I heard it.

The footsteps.

Quick, quiet little footsteps.

I was elated, something, some person, some animal, some creature was there.

I could've cried, I would've cried!

Until I tripped.

I hadn't payed attention to where I was running, and I tripped.

Over my own feet.

I hit my head.

I know that because I woke up in the very same field I do every day.

It was devastating being so close only to suddenly wake up and be faced with the fact that I will most likely never see whatever was there again.

I couldn’t have been dreaming.

I don't know what I’ll do if I imagined it all, I don't think I could take it.

My solace though! My delight! My proof!

I have a scar on my knee.

It's small, nearly imperceptible, but it's there, it's a scar!

For a moment, long enough for me to injure myself, I went somewhere.

Somewhere I could get hurt.

Somewhere other than here.

I need to go again.

I'm going on another walk. Right now.

I’ll run into whatever was watching me eventually, I just have to keep walking.

[jfpisadearqueerdeer]

No, J.K. Rowling honestly didn't think it through. She didn't think a lot of things through. Like the fact th as t she wrote Viktor Krum as an adult (17 for wizards) who hit on younger girls (Hermione and then Ginny at Bill and Fleur's wedding). But, back to Fleur. Not only did J.K. write Fleur as magically weaker, she consistently wrote people who only cared about her looks. J.K. wrote Ron as not caring about who Fleur really was, he only cared that was sexy (which does not make sense for his character) and then Ginny and Molly demonized Fleur. They didn't care that Bill loved Fleur, that Fleur was still 3/4s human - they only cared about how Fleur was 1/4 veela. Fleur either got sexualised or demonized in the books, except in the case of Bill. You cannot deny that Fleur's character could have been written a lot better, and should not thank J.K. Rowling for writing her the way she did. Also, it's not the only case of girly girls being seen as weaker or dumber in the Harry Potter books. Lavender Brown also gets demonized simply for daring to date Ron, even though she did nothing wrong.

The Harry Potter books were written in a way that was safe for the time. Girls are written to only be strong and smart if they're not traditionally feminine. Boys are written as people who only care about a girl if they're pretty, or if they're wanted by other guys. Emotionally abusive guardians are told to be the only "safe" way to live. Emotionally abusive teachers are never reprimanded, simply because they have a connection to other side of the war. The one gay character isn't even confirmed to be gay until after the series, even though it would have arguably made a better backstory for that character. J.K. Rowling created an amazing universe with characters that need some work, and that is why some fanfiction and headcanons are so great. We, the fans, have tried to expand the universe to show actual representation and create characters who aren't just one thing or another. And I'm not talking about those fanfics that involve rape or headcanons about Snape secretly liking Remus, I'm talking about how someone can see one line about Ron creating a goddamned mushroom, and making several posts about he's way more talented than he's actually written or those posts that point out how much Percy loved his family or how powerful Fleur really was. We built on canon, a lot better than J.K. Rowling has, and if you can't acknowledge that J.K. did wrong, than you failed to see the actual point OP was trying to make.

Let’s face it, ladies…

J. K. Rowling screwed us over quite a bit. Sure, mother’s love is what ultimately saves the day, but the journey there bore distinct signs that gender equality just isn’t there yet. The worst book by far? Goblet of Fire.

The book has some highlights. Hermione proves that all you need to truly shine is a big portion of confidence (and a pretty dress), confidence that also shines through when she captures Rita Skeeter towards the end of the book. Girl power at its finest.

There is, however, one major sin against equality that completely overshadows the high points. Her name? Fleur Delacour.

From the beginning, Fleur is a walking, talking cliché of a snobbish, pretty French girl. The boys drool after her and the girls want to be her. Still, despite her apparent shallow personality and pretty looks, she’s chosen by the Goblet of Fire to represent her school. So there must be something more there, then? A fierce and clever warrior who can hold her own against the guys? I can’t have been the only one who expected a warrior hidden underneath the pretty exterior.

What did we get, though? We got “the one who tried and didn’t quite make it”. We got “sure, she’s good enough, for a girl”. We got “the looks make up for her lack of talent”. What the hell, J.K?!

Fleur Delacour ended last in every single one of the three tasks. She was the only one to tap out of a task. She was the first to fall in the third task. Was it really so difficult to let the girl have her moment to shine at some point? Too much to ask to have the pretty part-veela not end last in just one of the tasks? The Goblet chose her, she should have had the same chances as the others, but instead she was bested by three guys, one of whom was three years her junior.

Fleur was screwed over from the very beginning, and I’m left disappointed that J.K. was too caught up in her endgame that she couldn’t spare a moment to show that in a world where magic makes up for physique, girls can also be champions. In the final installment of the series, it seems that Fleur has grown a bit, but it’s in the background, too little and too late.

She deserved better. We deserved better. Maybe one day we’ll get there.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

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The curve flattened I'm told due to evaporation.

Evaporation is allowed to occur when 3 or more people in one house have COVID-19 and give consent to immediate travel to their home place -- some aliens prefer not to call it a planet but it is

So when they are diagnosed they are sent home in NY state including NYC. And so it's made s remarkable difference in numbers.

The evaporation numbers are electronically recorded live in a databank

So dead bodies to dinosaurs and handle that nasty drama or evaporation and hands free and clean.

And as a doctor or nurse, "you are diagnosed with COVID-19. You will have an adventurous future. Please go home and enjoy your ride. Here's two prescriptions to help you on your life's journey"

I mean really. Try a little flavor.

"Bitch you gonna die yo! Here take this pill so you shut the fuck up while you dien' ain't no one wanna hear you yo! And push this down and suck when you be coughin like you dyin cause you will!!" I mean i Don't even care. What are they gonna do? Complain? When? They about to die. In case they do "I explained the medication use and how to and when to and I said the future is different than it is now. And i need a break. Care to join me away from this soon to be home individual?" now its only for now and i really don't recommend you to talk to someone like that except people like me, just wanna punch some fucking ass holes in the face.

Besides some people find that kind of interaction comical and they actually do prefer it to normal doctor talk. Its humbling. Some get upset like Denise.

And i just walked by Uncle Dad and he said to her when she borrowed $2000 from me and lied it was for bills but it was so she could go to Hawaii and she said "just between you and me i borrow this Don't tell dad" and she was talking about it because I walked by and he said "yeah Denise just between you and me You got a bloody broken nose"

Because he wanted me and my daughter to go. And she borrowed almost all my savings and i didn't have enough for 3 plane tickets to Hawaii when she already had $2,000 and 2 paychecks go in and had over $6000 of her own money on the trip after bills paid. So she had $8000...

And i couldn't go. She she got a busted nose. She was until 6 months ago assisted leader of Zulululu on Eaerth.

She insisted that Nathaniel try to initiate sex with me at that time and lost her rulership.

Because in reality she told him to rape me. That's what she fucking did.

Anyway point. If someone talks in a different manner to a COVID than usual. But isn't abusive as i was not abusive in the passage above i expect it to be excused and accepted and discontinued soon. As it is ONLY for COVID-19 activated and not carriers (which will only show up in DNA4U)

A lot of people The most strong people have been invaded by aliens. The strongest.

And we been beat down. Over and over.

I'm gonna pull out the NHRA because some of them kids are real special to me.

32% are human. 92% of the remaining percentage are alien. That's just the drivers.

72% of mechanics are human. 4% of the remaining are alien. (Cause they're fucking lazy -- not just an opinion)

The rest evil humans.

So of 600 drivers... Take 32 times 6 and you got some fucking number i ain't a calculstor but it's about 3x6 is 18 plus in the ones column 2x6 plus Yoir carry.

192 I'm assuming out of 600.

So that totally isn't right. 32% of drivers. 1/3 of 600 is 200

Fuck tree msn noe he says there's 900 drivers. Makes me laugh

So over 300... Why does the calculator say 288??

Why does this not work? 32% oh is not 33.333% it's less than im all thinking 30% is 1/3.

Fuxk math.

I'm sloppy in math. I have good humor about it tho and tree gets a good chuckle at me because I get so dumb about it. I was looking for 35% which is about 315.

See why Yall need 8 hours or more of restful sleep? Denise kept me up all night acting stupid screaming and then Nathaniel woke me up early worried about his livelihood. So i got me like 4 or 5 hours.

So 288 people surrounded by 900 people.

This is often the case then the remaining (i have a calculator here) 612 people try to drag down the 288 i can clearly see that they are outnumbered by over double

So that is a two on one unfair fight. Two not even being allowed to be on the fucking planet!!

And the one alone to stand or ball up to defend is nearly defenseless.

Then in the NHRA to make matters worse the aliens lie and manipulate to get their mechanics behind them.

So i developed a system that the driver team that wants to fight fights as a team and they have to pay real cash money starting at $10,000 that just goes up and up. If they intend to fight a human and Easter Egg occurs and the aliens that put up the bounty to warrior can't fight and must award all cash to the human ran team. Like Erica Enders.

And if she catches you talking shit after the cash award (usually a wire payment) and she will. She racks up fees and fines aka charges. Then she can beat the shit outta the alien team that has to stand there with their hands at their sides or in their pockets after the pockets are cleared by the awarded team and each person gets 5 hits to the face or ribs then the shit talker gets 10 from each team member from the human side.

Since 2013.

Aliens do not belong on Earth. Many of the drivers are the worst offenders of human trafficking which is why They are allowed in the NHRA so we can spy on them and is why rhe mechanics are so many humans.

Because by default humans hate aliens. Its just a distaste we are programmed and then we feel sorry for them for our programmed hate..

It is a very vicious cycle and very painful. Because we can't stand the way they act or dress or the way they're so fucking happy. And its because they lie and hide who they are from us and we feel it.

Thus the distaste

No matter how hard we try to like them and enjoy being with them the hiding and lying over and over of their true identity is terrible.

Queen hid from me her identity and I was all who the fuck are you? Like it wasn't like i would be rammed if i asked.

She said "pardon?"

And i was like oh shit and i got all red... And i was all oh im sorry I should not talk to her like that she's elder and proper! So i said "im sorry ma'am i was Just wondering who you were"

"Well I'm the fucking Queen!!"

I must had looked like a turnip by then all the blood rushing to my face to feed my brain.

"Of who?! What? Where?!"

"Of England" and she folded her hands in her lap on one side and looked all dignified.

Holy fucking shit who would thought?! Not me!

But an alien will lie "I'm just like you but ...." And never dignify themselves to say they are alien. And it is irritating.

When Queens or Kings don't announce themselves its full of mystery and wonder.

When an alien DOES then it's full of mystery and wonder.

When they don't it's absolutely full blown annoying.

Sometimes we can act like children and allow a person to follow us around and copy every move like the other kid doesn't know how to live. But there comes a point even a child will explode in temper.

They just don't fit on our planet!

Even Venus. Neptune and Mars when they transferred to human Because they earned the right by following the rules we still had to tweak their brains and look and so on.

Neptune looked like Ewoks. They were so fucking cute!!! I love Ewoks. I slept with one forever in my bed when i was a kid - a stuffed one from the store.. A fake non living one. I didn't know. I just felt a lot of love.

And i was being really abused by Denise and Nathaniel and i felt really better to,wake up to its cute little face. It was the one thing Denise didn't try to destroy because she knew the truth about them but she sure didn't tell me.

So although I have and the whole human race has a severe dislike and distaste for the alien race I did ensure that their deaths are one I would want for myself. For my children. For the proper Queen of England who can joke around and make my body feed my brain to keep me alive for one more day.

Something kind.

Evaporation is a slight accordion feeling mainly in the chest and then off they go.

So no one intended for Donald Trump to be running his mouth telling people not to listen to me

Simple bronchitis treatment then home to their families to discuss the ability to leave and when and where. And apparently there's a website you can organize yourselves on so you don't go alone.

I have tried every other way and it was unsuccessful.

I'm not destroying my own planet that was a gift because some aliens are fucking rude.

Im just gonna send their asses home as i should have done long ago.

Its not about being bitter or wanting revenge.

Simple fact is they don't belong here and they have their own home and their own Gods.

Its straining for their Gods to switch between their home and here.

Not my creation. Not my responsibility.

Not the nurses nor doctor nor military.

Not the mailmans nor Amazon's.

When yall voted for an American Revolutionary War 76% voted yes. Of the world wide population of nurses and doctors and health cate professionals 81.5% voted yes. Over 81% voted for a Revolution

So i expect no problems from now and the next 13 days.

24% of Y'all were probably aliens. Tree says... 16 and a half % which then leaves probably evil humans. Snd tree says yes.

So 100% of Humans says yes fuck this shit.

So y'all drink your grocery store wine. Have your cheese. Leave me some extra sharp cheddar but get you some too and get your ice cream. Buckle down and take your tests for money to buy all that. Don't pay no rent nor mortgage

We will talk to car loans i expect. Talk to your car loan providers. I don't want no dude towing your car cause he know it's at home and you didn't pay the monthly payment.

So use your DNA4U to pay your car loans and car insurance and get your food..

Don't be paying baggers online. I got a couple I follow here on Tumblr always a medical or food need. Go on the street corner and work for that yo.

They can get same as you to take a test

Get your student loans deferred.

If you have no DNA4U access and you did and you got an email saying why then you're leaving the planet So click the link and make your arrangements to get on your way.