#Thinking abt all the times a mom's record has come to us w the baby's diagnoses on it 🤦

[creepyscritches]

omg ur tags about oncology do you work in oncology?! I used to be a cancer registrar (I let my credentials lapse bc the job was giving me INTENSE depression) but that’s so cool to see someone else on tumblr with Knowledge of my old field! Do you find that it depresses you at all in any way?

I do risk validation coding/auditing for the Affordable Care Act patient population atm but I did do a stint in an oncology office a few years ago! I ended up not staying on permanently due to how sad it was--I was coming from coding ICU/critical care and I just couldn't take another daily routine of people's worst days.

Cancer is SO cool to work with though. It's so intimidating that people don't really engage w it willingly, but I've been pretty successful at making it more interesting than overwhelming. It's all in knowing how to read it! Wish someone would do that for me w OBGYN charts 😭 hate parent/newborn charts sm...

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

[clvmtines]

welcome aboard, clementine martinez, student #2. we are excited to set sail with you !  has anyone told you that you look like alexa demie? according to our records, you hail from florida, usa, prefer she / her pronouns, are a cis woman, and are here to study creative writing. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your online lottery win — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + charming, + free-spirited, but also - restive. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the billiards room. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a casino chip carried around for luck from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

hi friends! i’m very excited to be here. i’m jay (est, she/her) n i used to play astrid nyland a few months ago if anyone remembers bt i had to leave for personal reasons. i’m so glad to be back now that i hve life sorted and some free time for summer break <3 read on for some details abt this new muse of mine, clementine. 

01. biography !

so ! clementine was born in florida. & yes, her real name is clementine. her mom thot it was the cutest name idea ever. clementine mostly goes by clem. she comes from the town [redacted] in florida bcoz i am too lazy to look up a specific town <3 but alas ! it was swampy and humid and she lived in a trailer park. 

her parents got knocked up at nineteen. clem was born nine months after a particularly wild 1999 fourth of july. her birthday is march 26th and she’s an aries. 

(TW: addiction, child injury) clem’s dad was a gambling addict and petty criminal—he wld steal credit cards n whatnot. he wld gamble away diaper money n it would cause constant fighting until her dad finally left. her mom took this very hard n began drinking a bit too often, leaving clem to to make cereal for dinner n fend for herself. once clem tried to make hot dogs on the stove and spilled boiling water on herself. got a p bad burn on her arm/shoulder and still has a big scar.

the soundtrack of her childhood was cicadas buzzing and stray dogs barking. the sizzle and pop of natty light cans. turning up her ipod to max volume to drown out the sounds of her mother fighting with her new boyfriend.

throughout her upbringing, clem’s dad was always in and out of the picture. he’d blow into town when he hit it big. he’d take her on these little “adventures” like staying in a motel 6 n renting movies at block buster n ordering good pizza nt the dominos shit she ate with her mom lol. ofc he was charging it all to someone’s stolen credit card. he’d always promise to, like, take clem away. n clem was a daddy’s girl so she believed him. the last time it happened was her h.s. graduation. her mom didn’t show ( "overslept” after a bender ) but her dad did and surprised her n said everything wld be different. bt then he bailed on their plans for the next day n when she called his cell, the number was disconnected. tht was the defining “i’m done” moment. clem promised to never be disappointed by her father again.

(TW: racism) her mother has mexican ancestry and clem’s always been called her twin. but clem was raised in a predominately white area and honestly ?? it was really hard without her even realizing it. she’s still unpacking a lot of things today abt her youth that jst weren’t okay bt she thought were normal. like microaggressions, stereotypes, being fetishized by boys in high school. gross shit.

as a kid, clem was rumored to be really poor bc she wore tattered clothes n got free lunch at school. once she invited a friend to her house & the next day they told everyone it’s in a trailer park. that reputation—the “trailer park girl”—was really hard to shake. and clem got almost desperate to shake it. she was endlessly trying to set her old self on fire and emerge from the ashes like a phoenix.

eventually clem became more “popular”. in school she was, like, a straight b student. very average although super creative and quick-thinking. she always had street smarts. problem solving skills. independence. more of, like, practical intelligence as opposed to book smarts because academia bores her tbh. she was like why am i reading these overrated boring books by dead white men or learning abt polynomials when i know nothing abt how to pay a mortage or do taxes. like...she saw the american education system as bullshit and put in modest effort because she didn’t believe it deserved her sweat and tears. 

however, she entered the online lottery for the seas program on a whim and got in. so she’s studying creative writing now.

02. personality !

first thing you shld know abt clem is that she’s a compulsive liar essentially—she tells various stories to make her life seem better than what it was. to one person, she’s an heiress to a real estate company and grew up wealthy. to the next she was raised by nomadic hippies. some of her lies are small fibs while others are grandiose tales. she rarely talks about her actual upbringing. she hates talking abt her family or the v real trauma of growing up in a household where both parents struggled w/ addiction; the uncertainty, the broken promises, the fact that she had to grow up so soon and deal w/ so much. it wasn’t fair, and if she thinks about it too much, she feels this anger. anger at the universe. anger at her circumstances. she doesn’t know where to put this anger. she doesn’t know how to shrink it. so she avoids it.

despite her rough upbringing, though, clem is actually really sweet and kind. she’s adventurous, fun-loving, free-spirited, and bold. 

bt ! she can also be closed-off, competitive and restive. 

she’s seemingly tight with everyone? like she’s jst that girl who can get along with anyone tbh. 

in her spare time you can catch her tanning by the pool, hanging at the bar, playing pool ( which she learned from her dad ), and socializing. she’ll never say no to hanging out with people. 

she learned a lot from her little “adventures” with her dad, who was very good at conning others and often involved her in his dumb little scams. clem is suuuper good at pulling the ‘im baby 🥺’ card to get what she wants.

she can be a little selfish, because she grew up looking out for herself. 

stubborn and dogmatic as hell !!!

she doesn’t do too many relationships but when she does fall, i imagine she falls hard and fast. she refuses to be made a fool of, tho. when she gets vulnerable she flashes back to being a kid, waiting all day for her dad to show up only to have him bail on her. again. she hates that feeling. so if she, like, senses a shift in someone’s energy she’ll b like, “i’ll break up with u before u can do it to me” and the person wasn’t even tryna dump her lmao.

has a lot of sex. too much ?? sex?? mayb. but she’s v sex positive.

her personal style is v late 90s. hair clips, big scrunchies, neon, fur trim, crop and tube tops, hoop earrings, chokers, patterns, platform shoes, biodegradable glitter cuz it’s good fr the earth *winks*. clothes from o-mighty.......actually jst google o mighty, pull up the images and That is clem. she dresses like a bratz doll. she’s dedicated to the aesthetic.

03. headcanons !

her item brought from home is a hot pink poker chip from a casino. her dad gave it to her. he said it reminded him of her because of the color; he got it during one of his winning streaks and said it was lucky. she has a complicated relationship w/ her dad n doesn’t even speak to him anymore, bt she will never go anywhere without it.

she’s a smol bean—only 5′4

an astrology girl and she reads palms ! she absolutely makes astrology tik toks that people only watch because she’s hot. her flirting technique is to ask you to read your palm.

she doesn’t typically drink to get drunk. but she does love a good sugary cocktail. to her, a drink is like an accessory. a blue fishbowl by the pool, a jack and coke as she stands around a bar. usually she'll nurse the same beverage for a while. if you see her wasted it usually means she’s going thru it emotionally lol. the one thing she does do is drugs tho 

pretty much listens to exclusively female artists.

a bit of an activist. environmentalism, feminism and the like, she’s v outspoken. vegan for ethical reasons (TW: drugs) bt still does cocaine. she wears shirts with ‘my pussy my choice’ bedazzled on the front.

loves to rollerblade ! back home she didn’t have a car so she’d bike or rollerblade. now she still has her blades and she’ll use them when the ship docks. 

03. wanted connections !

Friends, bffs, ride or dies, friends who are like siblings to her, maybe a friend with an unrequited crush on either side ??

an ex she dumped/cheated on/otherwise self sabotaged their relationship because she was afraid of vulnerability.

an ex friend who realized she lies a lot abt herself n felt betrayed. OH ! ESP if they opened up to her on many occasions abt intimate, personal stuff. imagine the betrayal they felt when they found that everything they thought they knew abt clem is a lie.

someone who she actually opens up to. a confidant. or, maybe, like, a stranger she drunkenly spilled her soul to and now she avoids them like the plague.

a rival. clem can be competitive.

her drug dealer 

someone she knows she shouldn’t hook up with and… does it anyways. like a friend’s ex or smthing. spicy <3

i welcome anything !

[reversecreek]

ziggy strutting up to me like this gif as i hold up a crucifix n say begone begone vile beast BEGONE from my vicinity i will NOT buy u a happy meal wretched little boy...... some live action rp to start this off..... and SCENE. takes my bow. his pinterest is here n his playlist is here.

* dylan minnette, cis male + he/him  | you know ziggy benson, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of his life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to hand crushed by a mallet by 100 gecs like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole glitching televisions impaled by remotes, nonchalantly texting the babes as a stove fire ravages your kitchen & cartoons turned up so loud it fries your eardrums thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 24th, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY;

from the second ziggy ws born he didnt stop screaming. within the first hours of his life he gave his father an ear splitting headache tht prompted him to say “that uncooked chicken’s fucking demonic” n joke abt popping “it” in the oven to roast. when this understandably received disgusted glances frm the nursing staff he ws all like “jeez alright alright i’m kiddin i’m kiddin can’t a guy have a joke around here?” n i feel like that sets up their dynamic so nice n sweetly <3 (sarcasm) (lips pursed)

frm day one he ws just honestly a rly hyperactive child. when he laughed he’d shriek it out at the absolute top of his lungs bc he’d just get this huge giddy surge of energy all the way to the very tips of his toes n it’d hit him like a shock from a fork in a plug socket. their parenting style ws rly just lazy tbh.... they didn’t have much time for disciplining him. ziggy’s mum wld halfheartedly be like “ziggy quiet now....” n then go bk to nuking whatever vegetables she’d defrosted until they tasted like dinosaur bones..... this wld not make any difference in ziggy’s behaviour

his father rly just took the stance that it ws ziggy’s mum’s job to discipline him or raise him in general which is. 🔪 please enter the 20th century sir.... get ur noggin sorted..... needless to say he wsn’t much involved in ziggy’s life n honestly generally jst didn’t like him. ziggy was a responsibility he didn’t want (accidental prregnancy) n in his literal words once said (blatantly while ziggy ws watching cartoons on the sofa) tht ziggy just “harshes my fucking vibe a lil bit”. 

he wound up leaving when ziggy was six ish.... ziggy watched thru a crack in the blinds as his mum tried to grab at his jacket to make him stay as he lugged out his suitcase..... she even tried to physically cling onto him so he cldn’t get in his ride bt the door wound up slamming n she sat on her knees watching the lights pull out the drive n even long after they were gone. ziggy didn’t rly kno what to do abt this (emotions hd never been smthn he particularly understood, his own or how to handle other people’s) so after watching her fr 5 minutes he went out n gently shook her shoulder n was like. mom come inside u look weird out here. FKGHSFHGSFHKGFHKSGSFGHK. this was him trying to show love <3

ziggy’s mum is like.... rly relationship dependent. she gets all her self worth n validation frm whtever man she’s dating.... so she went on this like.... wild rampage of jst. dating a very large string of men. they ranged frm dreadfully boring to downright awful n were always below her standards. ziggy quite literally hated. all of them. every last one. even one that tried to b nice to him by offering to help him do his math homework when he ws 13 (bc ziggy was struggling a lot w this) n in response ziggy loudly barked until the man gt scared n stumbled backwards into a dining chair on his way out of the room. KGHFHKSJHFJGSHKFG

while him n his mum hv a kind of strained situation (there’s a great deal of resentment from her end n kind of. blaming him fr “driving his father away” n it’s never spoken abt bt it’s very much Present in their relationship n honestly ziggy kind of resents her too fr bringing some of the men into their lives tht she did) there is. love there...... sometimes she’ll like. reach out to cup the back of his head n he’ll duck his head away n be like wtf are u doing checking me for lice? n she’ll jst smile like :)...... knowing that’s how he loves. KHSFGKJGHKSFGFHKGSHF. ugh we love men who know how to process their emotions yesssss king give us nothing <3

(abuse n violence tw) idk i won’t go into it too much bt even tho ziggy’s constantly like 🙄 when his mum shows him affection he wld quite literally. kill fr her n almost did one time.......... narrowly avoided getting charged w assault when one of her bfs was drunk n evil n he went into protective mode.... idk he. has gone thru a lot n seen a lot n so has his mum. they look after each other the best they kno how despite the negatives in their relationship.... it’s complex <3

literally got in trouble so. often. at school. he ws always hyperactive (undiagnosed adhd n also probably not helped by the fact he ws jst allowed to eat sm junk food w 459729457952 sugar percentage all hours of the day) bt when his dad left n like. dealing w acting out so severely at home where his mum’s bfs were concerned it rly escalated..... i jst think he ws like. literally a terror. probably got suspended so many times. maybe even was permanently expelled before he cld get his diploma honestly. set off a firework in school hallway. smthn absolutely reckless n stupid.

hs hd a bunch of jobs mostly in the service industry...... usually ends up getting fired.... worked at mcdonald’s fr a while n then one day he went in rly high n ate three cheeseburgers in front of a weeping child who hd ordered one.... promptly gt fired bt he ws like yo fuck this place i’m quitting n threw off his apron n was like who’s with me??? who’s joining the union??????? to the rest of the staff n they were all mostly like >_> <_< before security approached to forcibly remove him n he grabbed a cookie n crammed it into his mouth in rebellion mid frantic n frankly possessed escape.....

in terms of wht’s going on to this day w his living situation i honestly think he still lives w his mum. i can just see this. KHGFSKGHSFGKSFGH. in like. a ramshackle bungalow in delphinus heights.... having said tht she probably isn’t. there tht often nw she’s dating her latest man (jonas, somehow always sweaty no matter the weather, wears too many gold rings n smells like shoe cleaner) who owns a car dealership n thinks he’s a kingpin for it. still home sometimes tho.

PERSONALITY:

ziggy spends his days working shifts at an ice cream parlour (one he got fired from once bc he broke in high n ate sm ice cream he was lay on the floor in the bk pants unbuttoned stomach bulging sm calling himself garfield saying he had too much lasagna. they hired him bk tho bc he has a harem of middle aged women who lust after him n it brings customers....) or like. cruising parties...... setting off fireworks.... skateboarding...... breaking into abandoned buildings.... filming stupid jackass type tricks....... playing guitar hero...... getting drunk at the arcade..... sometimes busking fr cash in a tossed dwn hat (very badly) (thinks he’s sick at it however)........ or alternatively...... fucking chicks aha...... fuck.......... not exclusive to chicks tho just had to sound despicable bt :smirk: he’s bi Baby.... 

i won’t lie he’s kind of an asshole................ never rly was taught properly how to empathise with ppl so like he struggles w that....... sometimes he’ll say smthn tht’s genuinely just quite mean n doesn’t need to be said but he doesn’t rly realise it’s like bad. n he’s like. what’s the deal haha why are u mad...... 

fuckboy. genuinely jst. rly summarises it well. insatiable. sleeps around wildly. will say he’ll call u back n then will not call u back. lies like oh babe i’m moving to france tomorrow fuckkkkkkkkk sucks so bad that we can only have one night but let’s make it special yeah? tits? n then they’ll see him casually skating past them on the street a week later n be like well clearly he’s not in france. ziggy doesn’t care.

calls himself a “genius inventor” bc he once gutted a vintage analog television n made it into a fish tank. it literally leaked water a bit. still convinced he is a literal visionary never seen before never done again. he’s like i’m on the brink of greatness. i’m the next einstein.

has a bit of a god complex where he thinks he’s the sexiest person in any given room n it’s kind of funny bc like dylan minnette’s sexy to me bt tht isn’t a widespread opinion n ur being a bit bold ziggy...... regardless has confidence thru the roof tht isn’t rly deterred by anything or anyone.....

dyes his hair 49729572459752 colours every colour under the sun. sometimes all at once jst different patches. wears lots of tie dye tshirts n basketball shorts even tho he doesn’t play basketball. rly colourful sneakers. just lots of loud colours tbh. often wears a paper clip in his ear as an earring. pierced it himself. someone probably recorded him doing it fr his insta story. probably was drunk.

drives a vespa around tht is baby blue with pastel yellow polka dots. it has lots of tin cans attached to the back by string like on those cars when u just got married. he did not just get married. u can hear him arriving frm over a street away.

almost never pays fr anything bt is always like “yo it’s my treat” n then either dine n dashes or u have to pay

his idea of romance is nuking a hot pocket as breakfast in bed n then complaining he’s hungry n eating half

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

fuckboy antics: he’s insatiable. rabid. notorious. mayb they fkd n he didn’t call........ jst completely ghosted........ mayb they were genuinely into him n he honestly built up kind of false pretences abt them having a connection n then jst dipped..... cld  b good fr angst n drama <3 someone please egg his house he deserves it <3

high skl heathens: locals tht were equally chaotic in hs..... just picture him having this group of misfits tht were like so loud n always getting up to no good doing god knows what god knows where.... probably gt arrested together breaking into an old abandoned hospital one time........... rly just doing the absolute most at all times............. probably so loud........... drinking n smoking far too much.....

an attempted teenage relationship: i’m like. tentative to even put this one bc i just feel like ziggy wld be a shit bf. KJHGFSHGFHGSFHGFKGHFKSG. but. maybe it ended in drama.....i’d say this wld probably be a girl bc in hs he probably ws less open w his sexuality... maybe ziggy cheated on her or she cheated on him................ angst........ strife.... we love it we love it........ i crash my car into the bridge... i don’t care... i love it... sudden icona pop moment me stood on stage singing karaoke.... it’s just gone 7am as i write this so i apologise if this is losing any. coherency. smiles so sexy....

last adolescent plot i swear: i picture when ziggy was expelled he somehow amassed a large group to protest w signs outside the school fr him to be accepted back. it didn’t work. he threw a party when he received news he hadn’t got back in anyway. maybe ur muse was involved or helped organise this or was violently opposed.

enemies: ppl who just. don’t like ziggy bc like honestly that’s so fair n valid. KJHGFKGHKSFGHSGKHSFHG..... mayb he like. exploded their mailbox one time when they were younger. mayb he skated over their toes. mayb he fucked their bitch aha fuck................. (joking btw) (don’t condone misogyny) (hashtag feminism). cld be fun to play around w

fwb: probably hs a few of these......... mayb they’re cool w things being no strings attached n lax n at ease w ziggy being the mess tht he is in general..... mayb they want more bt ziggy cannot provide...... mayb they literally don’t get on at all n this is their only mutual ground n they keep coming bk to each other.... :smirk:..... whatever u Farncy....

maybe ziggy’s mum dated ur muse’s dad at one point???? we can discuss this if u think it fits..... cld be fun to play around w............

coworkers: past or present r fun..... mayb they were like WTFFF is this guy fking ONNN at a past job (he’s had a few in the food service industry so pretty open in tht area)... mayb they work w him at the ice cream parlour now..... cn discuss the dynamic probably wld be dependent on the muse involved fr like. how he’d act n stuff.... :yum:

[miaxeu]

      though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, MIA STOEGER is actually a descendent of DIONYSUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-ONE year old MYTHOLOGICAL STUDIES MAJOR from LOS ANGELES, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite CHARISMATIC & DUPLICITOUS. 

( y’all dont deserve this real messy intro but im workin w half a bwain cell at 4am so i beg thee 4 mercy. nywyy im the excited new girl who’s hella pumped to meet all ur charas : katya ! feel free to hop in my ims to plot or drop a like and i’ll hop in urs ! x  )

POWERS

natural acting abilities — her ma’s a hollywoo agent so she started actin real early & now shes a big shot actress. there r more deetz on her career below !

chlorokinesis — it wasnt as natural as acting n she only started working on it when she turned 13 n started going to camps. b4 she just noticed shes good w plants but it wasnt super crazy or nything. its p good now tho ! shes prioritizing vine binding and manipulation 4 the self defense bc awards r cool n all but they dont rlly protecc from monsters ykwim 

levitation — shes trying her best ur honor

alcokinesis  — she cant conjure it or anything, she’s just immune to it ffff

BIO POINTS — cw: drug use ( full biography here )

her mom raised her by herself bc dionysus the party god was out of the picture immediately. she never told mia she’s a demigod & it was always just “ wow ur so talented ” or “ aww u got a green thumb ! ” but when she saw him claim 13 y/o mia by placing a weird hologram over her head while she slept, she knew she had to spill da beanz & tell her kid

ofc mia thought her mom was jus playing sum weird acting exercise w her bc her powers r so lowkey she could highkey just be a Mortal but insert sad whistle, the realizashun & the claiming meant heightened monster threat !! so yea ,,, one ended up chasing her a couple days later rip 

aside from the trauma, mia was ok. mostly bc she ended up cryin for dionysus like any child would n lo & behold he came & helped !!! as he should. nywy she made sure to go to summer camps every year after that but mostly just for protection purposes

she lowkey rlly hates this whole god business esp now that shes grown lmfao deadass thinks she got a bad deal bc life threats arent sexy !!! went to eonia eventually bc its Too Much Man. she just wants to go back to work and her life w the mortals w/o worryin for her life. would deadass fade her father if she could. may or may not be majoring in greek mythology to figure out the logistics of it all out of spite, who knows !

PERSONALITY

not ! a Drama Queen  —  dont get me wrong, shes hella Extra in the way she moves n acts sorta like shes always bein captured on film. is quick-witted & playful & can be a huge tease/flirt if she feels like it, but miss her w Real Feelings ! totally not sentimental. srsly she will try to rationalize away everything and is just,.,., not good w it. so soz folks, we just keepin it breezy here

ugh, she’s an Actress — aka she can act like she cares tho ! shes very much into keeping ppl on her good side. shes friendly n palatable to everyone bc its how shes been trained & while it doesnt seem fake, its def diff when its genuine

The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known —  lemme circle back to the first one, ok so shes good w emotions but only in theory. does intense character work with her roles so she thinks that counts as her having eq when rlly shes just emotionally stunted, projecting n repressing like an idiot

blonde, skinny, rich, & a lil bit of a Bitch — shes only a bitch inwardly or to ppl she trusts enuff to let in on the gossip. if anyone full on opposes her or becomes real emotional, then this lil diva will rear its superiority complex head n snap a lil. will most probably do it v underhandedly n w a smile but it will be Brutal

girls just wanna have FUN ! — shes the child of da party god, so ofc she a true party girl. officially off the rails when she parties. inhibitions ? we dk her. can be insensitive in that case bc smtms its truly no strings attached, tis all abt the fun. likes company a lot & it doesnt even have 2 be loud or particularly abt her, she just likes having people around n the escapism of it all. will make friends with everyone n make sure they have a jolly fun time guaranteed at dionysus parties 

Work Hard, Play Hard — real responsible when it comes to work and commitments and if she trusts/likes u enough, she’ll give it 2 u straight, no bs. def thinks Calling Out is an act of love but maybe does it a lil too harshly smtms. v much into efficiency, sentiments be damned. not the feely words type. will sit next to u or party w u or even pay 4 ur therapist if u need sum1 to talk to. she will Be There while u work thru it, so long as u dont expect her to change n be all emotional n stuff

if she seems a lil contradictory thats bc she kinda is. tis the good ol nurture vs nature. her ma’s a real no nonsense chick n her pops is a frat guy drama geek greek god whos rlly into cottagecore so u get this lil blonde bitch whos sorta teetering on the edges

OTHER INFO  — cw: drug use ( full headcanons here )

re her career, she achieved pegot status when she was 18 aka she truly b dat bitch. shes not super mainstream famous tho, more like indie sweetheart, film snobs/critics fave typa gal. if ya want a trajectory she started w baby commercials then a sitcom from 4-10 ( think modern fam’s lily ) then it was off to the big screen & the stage ! 

mia has a lil bit of a drug habit. its not abusive or dependent, but it is a staple whenever shes parties bc alcohol is useless 2 her. started a lil young too bc hollywoo. primarily uppers/hallucinogens. she smokes weed a lil more liberally but the rest is mostly just an on occasion thing ( which, ngl, is a still a lil problematic when u party a lot rip )

after she got claimed, mia ended up going to demigod camps in a lot of diff places n countries, depending on where production would take her. there was never an established place, more like wherever was nearest when they wrapped up shooting bc monsters afoot n wutnot  

she was always homeschooled but she still managed to go to a prom and homecoming bc party is life. that makes eonia uni p much her first chance at having a normal educational environment & experience and even then its anything but. still tho this is her moment !!! im lit rally begging her to get a personality that isnt her internally rolling her eyes going “ its not that deep ”

might put up a bio/stats page if im feelin sxc but i wud jus like the records to show that mia stoeger is a bi sxc babe bc me ? write a het ? no grassy ass.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS — cw: drug use ( full connections here )

omg danny devito i love ur work ! 

,,, p self explanatory sdkjfs sum1 who loves her work ! it can be lowkey/highkey fangirl to a civil admiration

OR alternatively, y/m can Not Be a fan of her work. they might think the storyline of the projects she takes on r too out of touch n highbrow yada yada yada, but yes, we love to see either of it ! 

summer camp sweetheart !  

someone she met when at camp when they were teens ? doesnt matter in what country/city, but mia was only visiting so it was truly a one summer romance typa thing. bc she was younger, im thinkin 13-17 or w/e she was probably sweeter n a lot more emotional then. was it either’s first puppy love ? first kiss ? first “ relationship ? ” idk, do yk ? truly, so many possibilities. nothin set in stone just hmu bub 

summer camp pals ! 

p much the same as above but make it Platonic

party buddies !

or druggie pals. either way works but she wud luv it if theyre both xoxo

friends w benefits !

most probably ( but not limited to ) sum1 she met at a party skdjhsjk is it exclusive ? is any1 starting to develop feelings ? im down 4 nthing n evrything

alexa play true friend by hannah montana !

give mia her college bestie ! her confidant who knows her feels and can call each other out viciously with no ounce of resentment. we stan the friendships !

omg i love ur skirt !

that is the ugliest effing skirt i've ever seen. lmao basically sum1 mia pretends to like or acts civil w but rlly ,,,, Cannot Stand for w/e rzn   

im p much braindead rn but those are just sum ideas !!! ofc the usual staples like the pals, enemies, wutnots are also v welcome we love to see it. if u also have a wc that u think mia would fit in, id luv to know more ! there are also a couple more detailed ones here, but pls feel free to shoot me a msg n we can get 2 plotting x 

( * wipes brow * how did i type so much n say so little rip. mia is also a completely new muse so pls b patient n if i fuq up from time to time, pretend u do not see >.< nywy thnx 4 readin, sweets ! feel free to hmu here or at discord if ya wanna <3333 )

FULL INFO  ||  EONIA TASKS 

[userseokkie]

Steve Rogers is a walking contradiction: the anti military soldier

After reading this meta on a gifset about Steve and Tony i got carried away and wrote essentially an essay about the analysis that had been made. and while i agree with the general sentiment of the post, some things didn’t sit right with me. btw i decided to make this my own separate post because this isn’t intended to start an argument or derail the original post, i know it can be annoying for gif makers to have dozens of comments added onto their posts.

(the meta in question)

ok so full disclaimer I’m not American and I’m not white. i just felt like this analysis was really interesting and when I read it I couldn’t stop all these thoughts that formed in my head, next thing I know I had written all of this in like 30 minutes. I’m not trying to argue or start shit, this is my own personal analysis of Steve’s character and why I don’t agree with some things said above.

First of all, let’s get this out of the way: Steve does not trust the US government. at least not blindly. the fact that he’s still the little shit that had a real problem w authority figures is something they touch upon on catfa a lot. he changed on the outside but on the inside he’s still that idiot punk kid and like, I get what the tags above me are saying but also Steve’s arc is more than that? and let’s not forget this stupid movie was written and directed by thanos Joss “I’m the true feminist ally” whedon so I would take this exchange with a grain of salt. I mean this is the movie that gave us “gOllY tHeRe’S OnLy oNe gOd m'Am” and “sOn oF a GuN” Stephen Rogers which is the most ooc thing I’ve seen since endgame’s Steve. Steve is a fucking potty mouth ffs he’s Irish and a soldier, so that doesn’t even make sense. but anyway, my point is something else, nvm this movie’s portrayal of Steve in general.

I guess we could probably argue all day long abt which Steve portrayal is the most accurate one since his character in the MCU is the one that’s suffered the most at the hands of inconsistent characterization, but I prefer thinking he already WAS someone that was well aware of the horrors of war and how unfair it was to recruit people w lies and the promises of education opportunities and loans for the poor to join the army, because he LIVED that he grew up dirt poor and had to see his mom take on three different jobs to support herself and him, so he’d consider this attempt to bring civilians into the military life by preying on their needs disgusting, he’d be fucking seething with anger. and if he had lived through the 60s (which I think it’s better for everyone involved that he didn’t, can u imagine poor guy would’ve died from the disappointment in what his country had become) I highly doubt he would’ve been the bitter WWII vet that defended Vietnam and shit on the protestors……. Steve would support the citizens’ rights to ask for accountability and demand justice!! even the hippie movement I think he would’ve been ok with when he saw that they were advocating FOR PEACE. that’s why he enlisted on the war after all, to bring the fight to an end and to have Bucky come HOME. I think Steve rogers would be all for peace. I mean, civil disobedience and telling the government to shove it? that’s Steve Rogers’ goddamn ethos. he would be all over that shit.

I agree w op’s tags where they say Steve doesn’t represent America, he represents what America wishes it had been. and I think Steve himself would be well aware he’s the anomaly here, the one that should have been America’s highest ideal. and I think that makes Steve very wary of his own image, anything he endorses becomes what America endorses. Steve rogers isn’t important, Captain America is. but I think Steve’s response here has more to do with his coping mechanisms to deal with loss, rather than coming from a place of “oh we’re soldiers, it’s what we do, we die for our country.” while Tony’s response comes from a place of anger (we are NOT soldiers!!! fuck u old man, i never asked for this!!! coulson didn’t ask for this!!!!!) Steve’s reaction comes from the intrinsic nihilism and dadaism product of his own time. it’s not that he’s minimizing Coulson’s death, it’s more that he’s so used to losing people, the thousands he met that died in European soil, the sick and ill from his ma’s work that died everyday, his own father whom he never even met, that his mechanism is to just. shut down. shrug it off a bit, even. people die. every day. “for believing” means for standing for something, because Steve is WELL aware that people that stand for nothing will fall for anything, and standing for something gives counterbalance to the official agenda. in his eyes, Coulson died not because he’s a soldier and winning the war means being prepared to make a few sacrifices. Coulson died because he chose to believe in something that the majority didn’t care about or even actively sought to destroy (the wsc over fury’s shoulder) and he died because he would not back down from the fight. I can do this all day is something Steve feeds off of because he knows that when you stop getting up from the ground, anyone and anything can strike you down.

but on another note, I get that Avengers happens literally 6 fucking days after he woke up from the ice, he probably had no time to catch up on all the atrocities the US had done on his behalf, or rather on what they said he represented, on the ideal he died defending and the US took and twisted and tore apart until it was no longer recognizable. Steve being a week out of the ice is super sad and to me, the biggest crime this movie did was literally brushing off Steve’s trauma, being riddled with PTSD and shocked from waking up seventy years in the future was not even addressed. at all. this could’ve been easily avoided by setting the movie at least a couple of months AFTER he wakes up. but whatever. After learning of all the shit the US has done, I think Steve rogers would be the first to walk out of there and be like “fuck it, I died for this country and you took it and fucked it up and now young people and people who’ve been killed for protesting your shitty ass decisions genuinely believe I would side with the government. they think I’M the stubborn baby boomer who kisses government boots and would approve of the Gulf War or the Vietnam War or the Central American coups or the war on terror or any of the stupid shit you’ve pulled in the 70 years I was gone!!! YOU MADE ME A SYMBOL FOR YOUR BIGOTRY WHAT THE FUCK”. so he obviously needs time to catch up on all of that before realizing how bad they fucked up his memory and how corrupt the system has become. but Steve’s depiction as a boy scout who believes the US can do nothing bad is inherently wrong and something only this one movie tries to do. no other movie featuring Cap tries to drive the point home that Cap is a goodie two shoes who still believes in american exceptionalism.

CATWS was the gold standard because it truly touched upon the cognitive dissonance Steve experiences coming out of a 70 year nap. the loss he experiences not only for being “the man out of time”, but the true man behind the symbol. heavy are the shoulders that carry the world indeed. and he’s been carrying the entire world on his since he decided to become Captain America. I truly believe the tragedy of Steve Rogers comes from the lack of agency he has over the Captain image, one that has been used to prop up political agendas over and over again. of course, he’s the one that decides to be Captain America as much as he is Steve rogers, blurring the lines between the two men. he could’ve retired, he could’ve adopted a new mantle or even go the old reliable route and try to keep a civilian life away from the superhero gig. but he didn’t. even in the comics whenever he tried to do that it didn’t stick for more than a few issues. so, you know in CATWS he truly experiments what it’s like to pull back the curtain and see the wizard behind it, he faces this disenchantment with the institutions that created him, both SHIELD and the US government. this helps pinpoint the moment he grows super distrustful of politics and agendas, because up until this point he’d only been in the battlefield, and he realizes governments cannot be trusted to make the right decision or even act in benefit of their people.

this way, Civil War does make sense when you see how Steve has grown so disappointed with modern politics that he sees the Sokovia accords as one big red flag, and the first step in a direction that only points toward authoritarianism and civil control. this movie deals with many things poorly of course, but one thing that doesn’t feel ooc is Steve telling the UN to fuck off. He wasn’t around to see the formation of the united nations remember? he literally has no background on what collective security and globalized autonomy are. there’s many things that could’ve been different in CW, but Steve was on the “right” side of the conflict for his character. (i’m NOT saying there’s a wrong and a right side on the Civil war dilemma. that whole thing was badly written so let’s just say it made sense in a hypothetical way). supporting the government in any capacity isn’t a part of Steve’s “thing”, but even when/if he sided with the US govt, he’d never endorse a political agenda that he perceives as “wrong”, knowing it’s hypocritical to do so. 

he doesn’t think the end justify the means, which is highly different from Tony’s pragmatism. if Steve and Tony represented opposing philosophical movements, Tony would be utilitarianism and Steve would be deontology. this brings the analysis full circle by pointing out that yes, Tony and Steve operate differently in theory, but in practice they both work for the same objective. Tony is the cynic product of his own doing, he understands how war can destroy and he knows the US has a bad track record of owning up to its own shit. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do is in his own hands (and because of his extremist way of thinking, he also equates that with being the only one who can do it and therefore, he must, no matter the personal cost). On the other hand, Steve is the idealist product of other’s people efforts, he understands how sometimes war can be the only way to save what is worth saving, but also how it can corrupt even the noblest of men. and because of that, he believes that the most good he can do must be done because other people believe in him, and because by setting the example, others can follow and make the world a better place. (and because of his very stubborn nature, he also equates that with being the ‘tree that must plant itself in the ground and say no, you move’.)

so what I guess I’m trying to say, is that to me at least, saying that Steve Rogers would be in favor of US militarism or that he equates the word “soldier” with hero is a huge disservice to his character. the fact that he’s a fictional character that was first conceived as WWII propaganda is not relevant, because I choose to believe the idea that says fiction stops being the creator’s own the moment it’s out in the world. And Steve Rogers NOW is a different character and serves a different purpose than what he was originally intended to. His entire origin is based on being a soldier, yes, but what makes his character so compelling is the juxtaposition between being a soldier and being essentially opposed to what the US military complex entails. he embodies a lot of american values ofc, like freedom and right of free speech and so, but my take is that he defends this values in a way that is distinctly non American. setting aside discussions of propaganda and the integrity of an art form, i think he’s been written in a way that evokes patriotism without being exclusively american. i mean heck, Steve rogers makes me proud to be from my own country, and inspires me to be better while never reminding me of the fact that he’s from an imperialist super power. Star spangled suit aside, he’s probably a fair enough representation of what one's love for their own country can bring to the surface, no matter which country specifically. i could delve more into that, but this is already getting too long and, since i already mentioned, I’m not from the US and my cultural upbringing is far different from the US. so i’m not sure i could make such a poignant analysis about the military culture and the way it impacts characters such as Steve. 

[murkrees]

older brother! nct (hyung line)

Taeil

okay so

let me start with taeil

cute floofy taeil okay

taeil just gives off these warm brotherly vibes u know???

like honestly you were b l e s s e d to have moon taeil as ur bro

ever since childhood he’d just be so naturally protective over you like

it wouldn’t be overprotectiveness like a certain someone (ty track cOUGH) but it would just be so subtle

as in if you both would be on the bus he would give you the seat closer to the window and stand up while keeping an eye out for anybody who even tried to touch you the wrong way

would be the best if you needed help with your homework

didn’t understand an equation? mOON TAEIL AT YOUR SERVICE

if u ever brought friends over and he would accidentally walk out with his bed hair, oversized tee and boxers

happens way too many times is2g

he’d just stop in his tracks and stare at you all with a blush on his cheeks before whirling around on his heel and walking back to his room without a word

hES SO AWKWARD ITS PRECIOUS AAA

he wouldn’t be the type to glare daggers at a guy you brought over

he’d just stare at him while trying to calm himself down and gulp nervously, eyes shaking like they were in nct life paju during yaja time

he’d clear his throat so much and ask so many weird questions

"so how long have you been dating my sibling”

"around two months?”

"uhh, that’s great, congratulations”

he wouldn’t be super aggressive w you than he would be with the other nct members

but during christmas don’t expect him to be above shoving you outta the way to get to the presents first

moon taeil is precious protect him

Johnny

JOHNNY

MY MAN

u guys would be sibling goals af ngl

would always back down in fights cause he hated fighting w u

always always always ruffles your hair

can get aggressive sometimes but its okay you get aggressive back

would be ur no.1 supporter

have an show at school??? expect him to have front row seats while holding a handycam in his hand, cheering the loudest 4 u

fundraiser????? he’ll be standing by your booth and persuading everyone to buy your cupcakes cause let’s be real this boy has looks and enough smooth talk to churn butter

going on a date to a fancy restaurant? it’s johnny’s fashion evaluation

"wear the red dress we bought two months ago and use the pearl earrings mom gave you for your birthday”

"what are those heeeeels use the other pair woman!!! ur legs will look better”

wouldn’t be the overprotective type if you brought a guy/girl over

would try to get along as well as he could w him/her to make you comfortable

he always puts you first and makes sure you know that

Taeyong

lee taeyong!!!

real sweetheart

would b so overprotective of u and he wouldn’t even realize

if u brought a guy over he’d just make up random excuses to tail you around and “supervise”

cough cough glare at him the whole time

but halfway through he’d just kinda snap back to reality and realize how he’d been acting

and just kind of tone it down a little

ngl your friends would love going over to your house because of him lmao

you guys would just have that kind of relationship where you just completely understand and count on each other

like if you had a nightmare you’d just knock on his room door and peek in and he’s writing lyrics with only his desk lamp on

and he looks up at you with bed hair and home clothes and he sees your face

you guys don’t even exchange words before he understands you had a nightmare and you just trudge over and flop on his bed and fall asleep there as he continues to write lyrics

or if he had a particularly stressful day and he’d come home looking like shit

you’d just bring out the pillows and blankets and lay them out on the sofa with two tubs of ice cream with your favorite flavors

and he’d just plop down next to you and you’d just listen to him vent

honestly taeyong wouldn’t even be in the position he was in now if it weren’t for you

sibling support 100000000%

Yuta

this boi

probably made you cry a lot during your childhood lbr

there’d be times where he’d tease you for your pigtails

“mooooom yuta’s teasing me again!!!”

“moooooooooooooooom yuta’s teasing me again!!!!!!!!!!” (yuta’s imitation of your voice)

but as you both grew up he matured and so did u

of course there’d still be times where he’d tease you but they’d be more playful and less intense

“what are you going on, a date? who’s the unlucky guy stupid enough to go on a date with you”

“funny because the last time i checked he was in that idol group of yours”

cue yuta choking on his spit

there’d be times where you’d be cooped up in your room studying for exams

and he’d knock on your room door licking a stick of ice cream and handing another one to you while asking if you needed a break of a ride to the nearest café/starbucks for a change of scenery

or times where he’d be in a pissy mood and you made sure to give him space to cool down

but u do knock on his door and tell him quietly that you have a plate of his favorite food in the microwave

and he never answers but by the morning the plate would already be washed

brags abt u a lot to the other members (not that you would know that)

tbh i honestly think he’d be even more protective than taeyong

wouldn’t be above threatening your boyfriend if they ever hurt you

if u ever come home crying he’d go ballistic

“tELL ME WHO THE HELL I NEED TO BEAT UP ONLY I CAN MAKE MY SISTER CRY”

secretly a big softie for you no lie

Kun

the nicest older brother to ever exist

the most understanding person you’ve ever met

treats you to food all the time

never allows you to pay after

“what kind of older brother would i be if i cant even treat you for a meal??”

you go to him for advice,, like,, all the time

a great listener

went home crying after some school drama? better expect kun already there with some ice cream and blankets ready to listen to your latest emotional rollercoaster

your parents could always trust him to take care of you if they had dates or had to go out so you never had babysitters

all your friends wish they had kun as their older brother

(pretty sure some of them had crushes on him, but i mean,,,, who wouldn’t)

can be savage if he wants to but only if you poke fun at him

doesn’t look like it but can be quite playful

sometimes you’d tease him and he’d just look at you with that done-ass face

drives you everywhere!!! even accompanies you to the mall or to do some shopping

actually so touched the first time you bought him a meal with your own money

“my baby’s growing up…” sniff

“shut up this is literally a two dollar street snack”

in his eyes you’re still a little kid

love older brother kun thanks

Doyoung

ngl he’d be the type to not know how to act around you when you both were young??

“what do you want for your christmas present?? what do girls ur age like??? what do children like keep me up to date what are fedgeet speeners”

only comes out of his room to grab some food

as you both grew older he’d be more comfortable around you

before performances he would send you selcas of him to ease his preperformance nerves

tons of selcas his gallery would be filled with them tbh

“whos ur favorite brother”

“obviously me ahaha who am i kidding”

“its not gongmyung right”

“right???”

“(y/n) pls answer me”

always remembers to buy you random trinkets from his tours abroad bcs he knows how much u love them

u always go to him when you need help with your schoolwork or study but always roasts you about your grades

“what do you mean you don’t understand trigonometry its literally the easiest thing in the book”

his savage side always shows up whenever u two hang out together

“oh u like that necklace? buy it urself”

ends up buying that necklace for u anyway

showers u with gifts cause he doesn’t know how to show his affection otherwise

nags u a lot but that’s because he lovs u

(and bcos ur a mess)

“you ate dinner right?? im not accepting a ‘yes’ if you ate instant ramyeon”

“i don’t care if you have finals you are bathing at least once a day ya stinkie”

“wash those dishes piling up in your sink (y/n) gross”

be grateful for older brother doyoung keeping you in check

Ten

oof

you know he’s that one bitch

one of the most annoying™ people you’ve known growing up

kind of distant to you while you were teens because of how hectic his life is

still doesn’t exempt his love for teasing you though

i mean,,, have you seen that one picture of ten casually taking a selfie as his mom scolds his sister right beside him,,, yeah

probably the type to wake you up saying you were late for school just to record you running around the house like a madman and going out the door just to realize its 4 am on a saturday

but you grew up watching his antics so you knew what not to do when you got older

as the both of you shifted to adulthood you got closer

ended up as you taking care of him and making sure he doesn’t accidentally get in trouble most of the time

still teases you playfully though

“no ten the market is this way jesus christ get off your phone”

“oho so you do care! if you care about me that much why don’t you pay for our meal—”

“go choke”

being ten’s sibling automatically makes you friends with johnny no ifs ors buts

ten brought him along to one of your hangout sessions without telling you beforehand and now he’s just,,, there

you don’t even bat an eye at him anymore

or the other members he brings along

probably tried to set you up with johnny more than once but the both of you have already caught on and are just playing along to amuse him

automatically makes you good friends with lisa too

lowkey doesn’t want to introduce bambam to you oops

is so subtly protective of you but lbr who could get intimidated by his 169 cm ass

like that time he caught jaemin glancing your way for a tad bit too long and he just gave him the look™

never likes the guys you hang out with

“that kind of guy doesn’t deserve you (y/n),,, you need someone gentlemanly, someone nice and tall like johnny-“

“if you like him that much why don’t you date him instead”

you may have grown up but in his eyes you’re still that little girl with pigtails he used to pull

older sibling ten is annoying but you love him anyway

Jaehyun

jaehyoOons

growing up with such an attractive brother was both a blessing and a curse

sure he was attractive and that itself was a plus point but then you had to deal with all the fakies that came at you just to get closer to your dorky older brother

not to mention the countless times he accompanied you somewhere or picked you up from school and heads would just turn

it got annoying at times but then you got used to it

now you just enjoy the perks of having such an attractive brother because honestly, who wouldn’t

not to mention good lucks are hereditary lucky you ;)))

good brother,, always follows your parents instructions so if anybody ever got in trouble it was you

if you were up to mischief and he found out he always covered for you,,, no exceptions even if he didn’t approve of whatever you were doing

the little sneak got good at lying from all the times he covered for you

always ALWAYS always there to comfort you whenever you had a bad day or if you were crying

not necessarily protective but still ready to give a little “warning” to whoever messes with you

talked to you a lot ever since you were children

by a lot i mean a lot

because he’s pretty shy at school when he was younger he makes up for it by discussing alien conspiracy theories with you

now that he’s opened up more it doesn’t mean that you both don’t enjoy a good conversation about whether or not mars had living beings

whenever you both had meals together or dinner with the family there wasn’t a moment where he didn’t steal your food

“food tastes the best when it’s on another person’s plate”

rly sneaky about it but you always notice

gets angry at you if you don’t take care of yourself properly

like the time he ignored all your messages and calls for two whole days cause he found out you consecutively skipped lunch and dinner

makes sure you have your priorities straight

older brother! jae is amazing lucky you

Winwin

whatta weirdo

ever since you were children he’s always been an oddball

clings to you wherever you go

even though he’s older than you sometimes it feels like you’re the older one who has to take care of him

honestly if it weren’t for you he probably wouldn’t have survived the first 15 years of his life

not to mention the multiple times you had to guide him whenever you were in malls or in a crowded marketplace just to make sure he doesn’t get lost or distracted

would fool around with you during family gatherings

inside jokes are a thing no ifs buts ors

whenever something reminds you of that inside joke you’d just look at each other from the other side of the room and make eye contact before smirking

all your other siblings are so done with you two,,, especially your parents

like the time the both of you attempted to bake a cake for fun and eggs ended up on the ceiling

don’t ask

it took all your willpower to stop winwin from burning the place down

when you guys finished you were covered in all sorts of ingredients and spend 15 minutes laughing about it

but you got closer thanks to that!!

even though winwin should not be allowed in the kitchen or near a stove anymore sometimes when you two hang out and want to reminisce you just start baking

always ends up in a mess but you two have fun anyway

as you two grew up there wouldn’t be much that changed

he texts you random korean words or phrases just to show you how much he’s been improving

actually convinced you to take up learning korean too

you would call him and talk to him in korean to practice and he would cheer you on or correct you if you got any words wrong

lowkey doesn’t want you to meet any of the nct members except for renjun lmao

would probably try to set you up with renjun,,,, but ended up as you two being rly good friends so it was a win/win situation ha ha

has actually had to fight yuta to make sure he did not get your number

“but if winwin is this cute then how cute could his sibling be??? come on pls”

you know all his embarrassing secrets,,, and always made sure to bring it up whenever he has members over

he would whine for you to be quiet about it and stop

older sibling! winwin is too lovable u are blessed

Jungwoo

s o f t

literally the best older brother you could ask for

took care of you so much when you were children

basically coddled you

fell down in the playground and scraped your knee? expect older brother jungwoo to run around finding a bandaid before putting it on your knee as he told you to be more careful

forgot lunch? jungwoo will 420 blaze it to your classroom and hand over his lunch saying that he’ll steal some food off of his friends

had arguments with you whether or not cow was spelt with a c or a k

someone made you cry? the moment you entered the house you’d just hug him and cry to his sweater

he’d just hug you back and tell you it’s okay while caressing your head

older brother jungwoo is soFT

he probably wouldn’t change as you got older

still coddled you nonstop 24/7/365

“its going to rain today don’t forget to bring your umbrella”

“yes mom”

soccer nights are a thing and tradition to never forget or break

you always wanting to meet nct and jungwoo chuckling nervously

“(y/n),,,, im not sure that’s a very good idea,,,”

you teasing him playfully

“I saw that new meme on instagram about you,,, can you try saying ‘skorret’ again”

“dO YoU havE JunGwOOiTis?”

“(y/n) pls stop”

“you know the general public and your members seem to have the image that you’re real soft i wonder if they know about the time where you-“

“ssssssshhhhhh”

but all is good because jungwoo loves you!! and you love him back don’t forget that

[estuarries]

baby’s first liveshow commentary

hello lads i have decided to attempt doing @nihilist-toothpaste​ inspired video commentary/write up/review thingies!!!! welcome to ramble-y fun time

phil’s liveshow on august 10, 2017

his smile in the first minute makes my heart so happy i love him so much

i love the eye-tongue-eye emoji stop being mean to it

he’s a bit late bc he just finished filming a new ap vid!!! it took him longer than he thought it would to finish filming bc he was rambling. this is a #relatable brain thing

“i just said goodbye and now i’m saying hello again!” wrt filing and then doing a liveshow makes me rly happy bc i wouldn’t have thought abt it that way. i love phil’s brain

new vid clues: paper bag(?) and bubble wrap. amazingphil asmr part ii??

dan’s not joining the liveshow bc he has a headache but phil’s gonna hop into dan’s next one

closed eyes and happy gesticulation whilst telling sleepy-morning “unexpected window cleaning man frightened me” story

phil’s fight/flight/freeze response is freeze

“imagine if i had decided to make breakfast naked! ...if i was that kind of person…” its okay m8 we know u like to make nakey bro brunches w danyul

are the emoji pants the only pair of graphic pj pants he has now ??? why are they being featured so prominently lately ???? phil IS an emoji is the only phnnie conspiracy i can support now

in the ap vid phil did SCIENCE and REACTED TO THINGS (chemistry . reaction . hehe :3)

he’s out of tv shows to watch ….he and dan have watched so many series together over the years ..... i am emotional

phil hasnt watched in a heartbeat EITHER !! BLASPHEMOUS BOYES!!!

re: rick and morty. i strongly agree and it makes me so nervous that rick burps all the time i cannot focus on whats happening in the show bc rick gives me so much anxiety

he misses the cherry blossom tree in thehowlter’s front yard and they are hopefully going to put it in when they have money

“you’re all like dan! not everything has to be symmetrical!” thank u for these affirmations that not everything has to be perfect thank u for being chill. a chill phil. 

“i dont mind a little bit of wonkiness!” “i’m at a bit of a wonk!” “is the entire house wonky?” the only real phil branding is ~WOnKy~

phils hands are so beautiful???? i love them?????? @ 8:50ish

him trying to figure out his best side and saying “one? or two?” as options like at the optometrist when ur getting ur eyes checked. 

someone in the chat: “both!” phil’s cheeky grin/”don’t flatter me!!!” response

someone in the chat: “side three!” i snort laughed along w phil this is truly Good Content. dark!phil RISE

phil doesn’t think he really has a bad side and his easy neutrality wrt his physical appearance is dreamy. i love him and i love that he’s comfy w himself like this

phil had an eye infection and this is the first day he’s been without glasses…… why does he glasses-bait us like this …..

it’s really hard for him to concentrate with dilated pupils so that’s why he was being a wee bit wonky in the last liveshow

his eye is no longer infected and is “white and ready to see!”. the tone of his voice, his accent, and the phrasingof that reminded me so much of my british grandma who i havent seen in a few years and now i want to call her i miss her

wicked was “as the kids say...Wicked.” I SNORTED AKLHFAEIHKF

also i cannot believe that he and dan used the same silly phrasewhen talking about their opinions of wicked. is it still #copyrightinfringement if its your bf blatantly enterprising ur intellectual property?

phil was feeling a bit meh going into wicked but now he’s converted and a fan

he loved defying gravity :(

phil: every audience is important! me: crying

phil loves coming-of-age/college/highschool aus … Me Too

phil remix: the top fans to the tune of mad world “all around me are familiar faces...lillyphanstuff, joteleena…”

he’s had “mad world” and also that fuckin. ditty song stuck in his head

“...is one thicc bih - NO!” is the best thing ive ever heard

im so sad that phil hasnt experienced the joys of ditty. apparently he doesn’t have it downloaded and doesn’t really know what it is

14:07 is my new ringtone (he sang the ditty tune in “doot doot doot”s)

“bandicussy” IM DEAD

phil thought it was a good family activity to see dunkirk but it made his parents very emotional bc his maternal grandad was in the war

making your entire family cry is apparently the phil way to entertain

neither he nor dan understood the timelines of dunkirk upon first watch

after filming his ap vid he sanitized using vanilla cupcake hand sanitizer

he watches zoe’s bath and bodyworks candle/lotion hauls??????? ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

apparently b&bw has some ~priiiicey~ candles. phil is the coupon clipping, consumer reports reading dad

he said that livestreaming games on dapg would be “dope”. i am reminded for the millionth time that he is a 30 year old white man. i am moderately uncomfortable.

jk it was someone in the chat who said it he was just reading the comment

“hi to the ‘phan’s moving boxes’ group chat”

facterino according to the nature man on tv: in england nature has decided that it’s autumn already. this is evidenced by blackberries coming out in august. because fall isstartingso early they’re expected to have a harsh winter but its fine bc he is excited for snow!

some climate change discourse

he’s not a big doctor who fan but his fav doctor is david tennant

he’s excited for the “lady doctor” and i’m uh. not a huge fan of that wording

23:02 pre-sneeze noises and hand motions are Delightful

apparently it’s southern england peeps who pronounce scone with a hard o (scOHne) and northerners pronounce it with a soft o (scAWn). phillu doesn’t know which pronunciation he uses

my mom grew up in cornwall (and moved to america when she was a teen. i’m american btw!) and pronounces it the northern way. we’ve had the scohne vs scawn debate!! lots of #britishfamilythings in this liveshow

philly homework motivation song @ 24:52

his first response to ppl being sad about school starting in a week is to calculate how many seconds are in a week so they can re-frame their time left in a way that feels more plentiful. i love this ???

i also really love how he tries to read premium messages from different people every time. idk that’s just really thoughtful and as a fan i really appreciate it

he knows that black makes him look good …. GOodBYe

today is world lion day!

phil is the one who puts the funny/random holidays on the dnp calendars. of course it was but im still so happily surprised  

doinganap’s sicth/sixth discourse

he’s reading people from the chat’s bdays and telling them what funny holidays are on their birthdays! i love how he finds different ways to get ppl in the chat involved every liveshow. i appreciate him so much !like yeah i know its a marketing thing but let me pretend its solely phil’s care for us

he wants to go back to japan

he can’t read or edit and listen to music at the same time! me neither

someone asked what a good pet would be and phil went on a lil tangent about how it’s important to have enough time to take care of the pet you choose!! dont get an exotic pet or a breed of non-exotict pet that requires a lot of time, money, or energy to care for it if you’re not at a point in your life where u can take care of it to the best of your ability! <3

hedgehogs are one of the most common animals in the uk??? what the heck?

he can’t remember whether or not he’s seen a hedgehog irl so he texts mum lester to ask <3 why is this the sweetest thing in the world . like seeing a hedgehog irl would be an experience that his family facilitated or even if he was moved out when it happened it would have been so exciting that he def would have told kath about it. so any way it happened she would know about it. my heart is Warm.

he’s not a huge summer candle burner but as soon as it’s september he’ll be on the pumpkin spice train

mum lester texted back and apparently his grandparents had a family of hedgehogs in their garage and his granddad built them a little hedgehog house to hibernate in :( wow!

phil might play shelter 2 … with dan. No Thank You. let us have some phil-only time plz 

shelter 2 is more of an autumnal game so he might do it later when he can cozy up with some cocoa and herd the badger babies

he feels a coffee buzz after five (5) chocolate-covered coffee beans. r u sure u even drink coffee phil????

rye bread is worse (in phil’s opinion) than regular bread and is ”claggy”. i busted out laughing and texted my mom IMMEDIATELY bca LOOOONG time ago we were at a family christmas party with my dad’s extended family and all of the Adults were playing scrabble. my mom ended up spelling claggy and everyone else was like THATS A MADE UP WORD WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and my mom was like ???? no its not? my dad’s family is from the eastern us and had never heard the word claggy before and i remember my dad giving my mom shit about it for YEARS afterward because she caused such an uproar. idk if it was a regional thing or if americans just don’t say claggy but REGARDLESS. my mom and i had a good laugh over this description of rye bread and we both love phil

he’s nervous abt what dalien is going to look like and become as he grows up. phil’s general reaction to dalien has been one of caution and nervousness and idk ?? someone more thoughtful analyze that please

his advice for making the most of the last bits of summer: do something you haven’t done before! immediately after bestowing upon us this Wise Advice he giggles and becomes self aware of his parental tone. Our Dad Is Becoming Self Aware

he doesnt swear around his parents?????? my mom says fuck all the time :0

2018 calendar and season two pastel plushies are in the works!

he’s singing another song to list the top fans. suggestions include toxic, the ditty tune, and the tetris theme. he goes with the ditty song and starts laughing in the middle of it so makes a seamless musical transition to toxic

if everything recorded properly with his new vid we should see it in the next few days!

he hopes that we have a lovely weekend and that whatever we end up doing brings us a bit of happiness :( i love him thank u phil

tiny little bonus song after he covers up the camera. schrodingers phil.

all in all i love phil’s liveshows and this has been the highlight of my day. thank u for reading!

[cursedcurios]

relationships i hardly talk about w/ hazel but are still super important and everyone needs to know/appreciate them with me

annabeth n hazel

--the reliable onesTM --annabeth’s very logic driven and likes having plans n goals laid out, and while hazel is more prone to improvising/breaking a plan, she’s also  --i feel like they’d bond over liking “old people things” ???? old recording artists, old tv shows, game shows, sudoku, stuff like that --everyone would expect them to kinda be awkward around each other? n i agree they were kinda like that in the beginning --percy would be all “hazel is my dorter” n annabeth would be all “??? what” like not mean or dismissive of hazel at all, but more like “you’re known her for maybe 72 hours, how is she your daughter already?” --then hazel does smth that really impresses annabeth (like saving percy from doing smth stupid or just generally beating percy at anything) and she’s all “I CANNOT BELIEVE MY DAUGHTER, HAZEL LEVESQUE, IS AN ACTUAL ANGEL” --definitely annabeth is more of a mentor/mom-like figure to hazel --they’d be a designing dream team too: annabeth with the plans n hazel with the interior decorations  --just a super chill and mutual supporting friendship that i want

piper n hazel

--more people talk about this one bc it was mentioned a few times in the books, but nothing really besides that bc annabeth/reyna/piper trio was born and the fandom ran with it so :/ --hazel is probably closest with piper out of the female demigods she’s met --even after the war is over, they still love to practice together, and whenever piper manages to beat hazel she’s like “i had a great teacher :)” --more of a sister relationship than anything. honestly piper would dote on hazel --piper n leo might be the Terrible Duo but put hazel in the mix and it’s a Treacherous Trio. you can’t hekp but trust That Face hazel pulls even when u can hear piper n leo cackling in the bg as u walk right into the trap --jason has been a victim many a times --they like to tease percy a lot abt his crushes on the Power Blondes --or just teasing percy in general is a great time --when hazel discovers her love of photography, she’s the only one piper lets take pictures of her n gushes about hazel’s talent to everyone --they do a lot of the “basic white girl things” together like drink pumpkin spice lattes from starbucks, use the filters on snapchat unironically, n make polaroid wall art 

rachel n hazel

--um artist buddies??? hell yeah --they’re both 1) curly cuties 2) artists 3) energetic and outgoing --i mean, what’s not to love? --i feel like, although they would def bond over their love of art, they’d also talk about how they were kinda dragged into this whole demigod/oracle thing without being given the chance to really say no --also just being super silly and going do interesting things together. i think rachel would love to take hazel to different exhibits, programs, shows, and just doing things that have nothing to do with the gods

reyna n hazel

--listen okay LISTEN, --UR NOT ABOUT TO TELL ME. THAT REYNA WATCHED HAZEL GET BULLIED AND PICKED ON BY THE LEGION AND DID’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BC THAT IS A LIE --everyone thinks reyna adopted nico first, but that is FALSE. reyna sees herself in nico, but she probably sees hylla in hazel  --but lowkey hazel adopted reyna n they both know it --reyna has to remain strong as praetor n not show weakness to ANYONE, but hazel is of the chosen few who has seen reyna completely break down and is the ONLY one reyna will regularly hug --sleepovers in the praetor’s office bc they were both denied a childhood and female friends so why tf not?? --their fave spot in all of camp jupiter is a lil bench just off the main path on a hill overlooking the little tiber. it’s quiet and remote and they can pretend they are anywhere but an army camp for children --reyna’s dogs gravitate naturally towards hazel as well and are of the few animals that don’t shy away from the smell of death she carries --bottom line, if anyone asked reyna who her favorite person was, she’d say hazel levesque faster than i could blink okay

ella n hazel

--did u mean an actual angel taking care of an orphaned baby bird or??? --everyone in camp knows that ella adores hazel levesque bc that’s.......literally all she talks about when hazel’s not there --if it’s not about tyson, it’s about hazel --and hazel will protec ella to her dying breath, okay, no one gets to say SHIT about that smol harpy without hazel squaring up --a lot of ppl think hazel just tolerates ella and they’d be WRONG --hazel loves ella to pieces and is genuinely interested in the things ella likes and says. the best Big Sister ever --she does a lot of damage control for ella tho --like,,,,,a lot --but she doesn’t love her any less --and don’t think for a second that hazel would not be all over that “but she’s a monster” bullshit, she’d come for u in a second

[thefatedmeeting]

i tweeted a lot abt the concert yesterday and i translated it to eng so i coudl send it to meg so im gonna just paste it here for the record. warning: im very excited

okay. the tweets start after i got in the hotel from the show so ill translate them all hsdfgj

everyone i cant stay here for a long time cuz the wifi sucks and im really nuts but im so dead i have no words guys idk i cant believe i saw my sons live sdkfjsdf

the choreos and dances and them speaking portuguese and jin and suga and hoseok crying im emo

i was kinda far away, i couldnt see their faces neatly but i could identify their body shape and im so emo

them saying they were happy to come and they wwanted to come more frequently and they were sad to go and jin (THE GUY FROM AWAKE) saying he feels better bec of the fans im :(((((

when suga and namjoon sang their solos i was almost crying tbh kfdjd

and taehyung was wearing that bandana, this man is truly trying to kill me sdfsdf

im gonna be that guy but tae's choreos were super beautiufl and i am very fuckenigh in love

i wanted to talk abt my day and the queue and abt my sons more, but im super tired soo GOOD NITE

there were sooooooooo many people, so many fuckin people, the biggest queue of my life skdjfsdf and a lot of young ppl too damn. but it was so beautiful, the fans and the boys singing together :((( im emo

i woke up super early, i was like so fuckin sleepy sdkfjsdf we boarded the plane etc, the trip was nice, i was super nervous but we arrived well, already in the plane i spotted a lot of fans sdkfjsdf

when the plane landed it kinda shook a little and a girl SHRIEKED a nervous laugh i had to fuckfign laugh out loud it was so funny dfjkgdfhgfdh

okay so we got to the hotel, tehre were armys there too, wow guys there were so many armys in sao paulo you kick a lamppost and 10 would pop out

our hotel room was super simple but it was good, and comfortable. the bed was a+++++++++

me and my sis went out for lunch then we went to the concert venue, i was super nervous but thanks to the medicine i got better sdkfjskjdf man. when we got there the queue was HUGE. the biggest queue of my life

there WERE SO MANY PEOPLE SERIOUSLY and a lot of young ppl, like even babies. there was a baby who was jiimin's fan i was like sdlffj

there were ppl selling merchandise too it was the biggest amt of bts stuff ive evers een in my life in one place holy shit. i loved it tho i wish i couldve bought a t shirt or something as a token but i only bought myself a bandana rip sdkfjsdkfjskfsd anyway, we stood there for like HOURS we arrived at like 3pm until fuckin 7pm my legs are all dead, i woke up w a cramp last night sfgdfg

while the queue moved i talked to armys, everyone was so fuckin excited they started yelling JHOOOOOOOPE AND SCREAMING OUTTA NOWHERE I WAS LIKE WHATS HAPPENIGNG

THERE WERE PPL IN THE QUEUE FOR THE \NEXT DAY\ DUDE. IT WAS RAINING SLIGHTLY LIKE PLEASE REST FRIENDS DONT DO THIS DSFGDG

i found it funny that the merchandise sellers (?) researched bts so hard, they were using fan lingo ksdjflsdkjfs ive never seen this holy shit. it felt like idk those anime cons i used to go on high school, except times 10000000 and with like more excitable ppl

after we entered the venue, ppl started singing, sometimes there was a drone recording stuff, and at some point their staff came over to take pictures

i was trying to find my friends but i was so fuckening lost and they were out of the venue still sdfsdfsdfsdf

at some point it turned into a single person queue (?) and then my friend found me thanks to me jumping and some fan's mom lending me her umbrella so i could spin it sdkfjsdf

anyway <3 me and gabs started talking abt the show, the boys, the fans, life universe and everything else. shes so sweet. i adopted her as my second sister xoxo

the queue was so big it went around the fuckin block, smh. when we got to the venue we started getting hyped sdlfkjsdlkfjsdf we managed to enter nicely, then we got up super nuts and IT WAS SO NICE INSIDE THERE

we got to a nice place in the front except it wasnt our assigned seats so we had to split up later sdkfjsdf but damn, it filled up super quick, i was shocked. i could see the stage quite nicely, i kinda regret not seeing their faces properly but i SAW them and i died and i emotionally hugged all of them so tiengo nada a perder sdfsdf

OKAY SO i filmed so many things. i was like trying to watch the concert, looking at the stage, looking at the screens, yelling, singing and filming skdfjsdf

when they started showing the mvs i was HYPED everyone was already singing and it was hard to not get into that excited vibe

AND THEN AN OPENING VIDEO STARTED AND I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT ITS STARTING

IT OPENED W NOT TODAY AND IM SDLFHALFHALFHALKHALFKAHD AND EVEYRONES STARTED GETTING UP ON THEIR FEET AND IWAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK GUYS I WANNA STAY SEATED BUT I HAD NO CHOICE, EVERYONE WAS STANDING ALL THE TIME SO I HAD TO DO IT TO SEE THINGS SDKFJSDF

THEY STARTED TALKING AND I COULDNT HEAR ANYTHING THERE WERE SO MANY PPL SINGING AND YELLING IT WAS HARD. I SORTA GOT THE "BRAZIL" AND "TAO CURTINDO (ARE YOU LIKING IT)" AND TAE SAYING "AMAMOS VOCES/ WE LOVE YOU"

LATER I FOUND OUT JHOPE SIAD BRAZIL WAS THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE TOUR THAT SOLD OUT AND I WAS EMMO THEY LOOKED SO HAPPY

AT FIRST they looked tired but later they got excited bec the fans were... like so hyped sdflksdf

THEN CAME AM I WRONG, BAPSAE AND DOPE AND I DIED SDLFKSJDF THE CHOREOS BRO I WAS LIKE HOW CAN THEY DANCE LIKE THAT FOR REAL I CANT BELIEVE IT

it was so nice to hear everyone singing and yelling ogether it felt like we were performing with them too! dude idk i was emo

THEN CAME BEGIN AND JUNGKOOKS CHOREO AND IML IEK WHAT THE FUCK DUDE HOW CAN U DANCE LIKE THIS TEACH ME? BITHC

THEN JIMIN'S DANCE AND I DIED TOO GODDAMN! his dancing style is super smooth and sensual and like, the sense of weight is so light i die

it was so cool to hear ppl yelling their names, holy shit man sdkfjsdf

THJEN I THOUGHT STIGMA WAS COMING UP BUT SUGA CAME UP W FIRST LOVE AND I DEIED WITH THE PIANO HOYL SHIT DUDE THE COMBINATION OF THE VIDEO BEHIND HIM AND HIM RAPPING AND THE TONE OF THE SONG I WAS ALMOST CRYINFG DUDE IDK GABS LATER TOLD ME SUGA HAD CRIED AND I WAS LIKE BITCH ME TOO

THEN CAME UP LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST REPRESENTING ME BEC I WAS  SO LOST IN SAO PAULO HOYL SHTI SDKFJSDF

THEN SAVE ME CAME UP!!! AND HOLY SHIT I WENT HNUTS BECAUSE SAVE ME INTRODUCED ME TO THEM!!!! AND I DIED BEC TRHE TRANSITION FROM SAVE ME TO I NEED U WAS SOO GOOD IN THE END OF SAVE ME'S CHOREO THEY GO DOWN AND I NEED U STARTS W THEM RISING UP I DIED

THEN REFLECTIONNNNNNNNNN CAME UPPPPPP AND I WAS EMO AGAIN THE VIDEO AND NAMJOON OH YM GOD GUYS AND THEN HE SAND "I WISH I COULD LOVE MYSELF" AND EVERYONE ELSE SANG "WE LOVE YOU" BACK TO HIM AND HE GOT ALL CHOKED UP HOLY SHIT DUDE IM EMO TOO I IWHS I COULD EMOTIONALLY SUPPORT THESE KIDS THAT SUFFER WITH THE RUSH OF THE IDOL LIFE BUT IF THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD IM HAPPY AS FUCK

SO BITCH. STIGMA COMES UP AND I ALREADY AM DEAD AND DYING AND SINGING ALONG AND TAE'S HIGH NOTE CAME UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP IM STILL SCHJOPKEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

AND THEN COMES MAMA!!!!!!!! HOSEOKS KID PHOTOSSSD FSDFSDF AND THE FANS SINGING ALONG HOLY SHIT GUYS AT THE TIME OF THE BREAK HE STARTED MAKING A CRYING FACE AND A CHOKED UP VOICE AND  IALMOST CRIED WITH HIM

AND THEN JIN CAME BUPPPPP IM ALWAYS EMO WITH AWAKE BEC HE THINKS HES TALENTLESS AND HAS NO HABILITY BUT TDUDE EVERYONE SCREAMED HIS NAEM AND THE HIGH NOTESS I WAS KIKEAAAAAAAAAA BITHCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AFTER THAT I THINK THERE WAS CYPHER 4 AND THATS WHEN I TRULY LOST IT FUCK! THERES NO WAY TO SCREAM AND SING ALONG W CYPHER IDK DUDE IT WAS SO FUN TO GO OFF IT WAS ONE OF THE PERFORMANCES I LIKED THE MOST W THE FANS, AFTER SPRING DAY

THEN CAME UP FIRE AND IDIED W THE CHOREO, NOTHING NEW, AS ALWAYS I DIED THANKS. THEN THEY STOPPED AND I HEARD RAPMON ASKING IF WE WERE ENJOYING IT AND I DIED ALREADY LISTNEING TO IT COULDNT EVEN HEAR THEM, I HAD HEARD THEM TALK A BIT MORE TOO BUT I COULDNT MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF IT CUZ THEY WERE LIKE "SDJFSDF ??" AND EVERYONE SCREAMED AT IT

THEN THE MASHUP CAME UPGPPPPPPP I WAS SCREMAING SO MUCH ESP AFTER NO MORE DREAM. I FORGOT TO MENTION BUT BAPSAES DANCE BREAK KILLED ME TOO. AND THE CONFETTI IN RUNNNNNNNNNNNN I WAS EMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THEN 21 CENTURY GIRLS CAME UP AND I COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT TAE IDK HE SEESM TO DANCE THAT SONG RLLY NICELY AND IM WEAK

THEN THEY TALKED W US AGAIN AND I HEARD ONE OF THEM SAY THAT CONCERT WOULD ENTER THEIR STORY AND IT WAS THERE JIN SAID HE FELT BETTER BEC OF THE FANS, REFERRING TO AWAKE. FBITCH

THEN THEY COME UP W BOY MEETS EVIL AND IM SDLÇFKJSDFLKJSDF AND THEN BLOOD SWEEAT AND TEARS I COULDNT STOP LOOKING AT THE CHOREO HOLY SHIT WHAT A SONG!!! I HAD HEARD NAMJOON SAY BEFORE BOY MEETS EVIL THAT IT WAS THEIR LAST SONG BUT I WAS LIKE NAHHH U LYIN

BUT AFTER A LARGE PAUSE THERE WAS WINGS AND 2!3! I DONT REMEMBE RHTE ORDER BUT HOL FUCKING SHIT I ALMOST CRIED IN WINGS, CLAPPING DYIGNH IDK

THEN THEY CAME UP W SPRING DAYYY AND HOLY SHIT THE FANS SINGING AFTER IT ENEDDED I ALMOST CRIED AGAIN THE BOYS WERE ALL EMO AND IM LIKE BITCH ME TOO HUG ME. JIN WAS ACTUALLY CRYING

THEN THEY TALKED ABT BRAZIL I DONT REMEMBER MUCH BUT THEY SAID THEY WANTED TO COME HERE AGAIN, MORE FREQUENTLY, THEY WERE SAD TO GO AND THEY CALLED THE FANS THEIR WINGS. AND I FORGOT THAT BITCHING VIDEO THEY SHOWED UP BEFORE WINGS

SPEAKOING OF THE "BOY WHO GROWS UP" AND OF THE BOYS UNITED AND THE SEVEN HEARTS INSIDE ONE, AND ONE HEART UNITED WITH SEVEN AND IM LIKE "EGFAYUHFAUFHE LET ME SIT DOWN I CANT RISE UP AFTER THAT ONE" JESUS CHRIST DUDE WHAT ATHE FUCK I CANT RECOVER FROM THAT

AFTER THE CONCERT I FOUND GABS OUTSIDE, SHE HELPED ME FIND MY SIS SDKFJSDF THEN WE FOUND BIA AFTER SOME STRUGGLING SHE WAS SOOO OUT OF IT CUZ SHE SAW THEM FROM UP CLOSE . THEN WE WENT BACK TO THE HOTEL MY SWEET SISTER BOUGHT ME A BURGER KING SO I WOULDNT BE HINGRY AND I WAS LIKE EATING RLLY OUT OF IT

I SLEPT NICELY. LIKE, NOT 100% BUT NICELY. WOKE UP W NO VOICE AT ALL AND A BITCHING CRAMP IN MY LEGS SDSFS WE WENT TO A FAMOUS PARK LATER AND ITTWA S SUPER NICE WE BIKED ALONG IT AND MY LEGS DIED BUT I WAS A HAPPY MAN SDLFJSDF

ANYWAY WE WENT ABC KTO THE AIRPORT AND IT WAS COOL. I DIDNT THINK I WOULD LOVE THEM MORE THAN I CURRENTLY DO BUT AFTER THIS CONCERT I CAME UP AT A NEW LEVEL IM SUPER OUT OF IT DUDE. WOKE UP TODAY AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE IM THERE I LEFT PART OF MY SOUL THERE

[gro-hls]

big rant possibly problematic idk some stuff idk how to phrase but 

yo okay so the drum teacher at my school a) is a perv and harrasses girls and sometimes other genders ppl if he doesn’t know b) misgenders people after being corrected like there’s no tomorrow c) is like completely senile and always talking about monsanto or dumb shit antivaxx etc d) does not teach drums properly at all, causing a high dropout rate e) sometimes yells allahu akbar really loud in the middle of the night clearly not in a praying way, like i would be equally as rattled if someone yelled praise jesus or barukh hashem that loud at 10pm to themselves with that amount of desperation and he also just yells nothing like straight AAAA sometimes and e) has been calling security on us just to complicate our lives

so a) like he told one of my friends he wanted to see her play violin in spandex, asked another one if she wears a one piece or a two piece to the beach in the context of whether or not he should bring binoculars, tried to hug a girl from behind last year and the girl Literally Jumped away like a cat who has been thrown in water, and yesterday he was telling me abt a movie “where a little white girl falls in love with a black teacher and brings him home but that wasn’t ok back then” ok homie like student w teacher is always weird and gross no matter what lmao

b) he was calling this preop woman from a few years back a “transsexual man” no matter how many times we corrected pronouns/told him that meant woman

c) he has terrible hygiene, legit wears the same dirty DIZZY 2016 tanktop every day because his dad had connects so he fkn slithered his way into performing with dizzy gillespie One Time and now he can’t stop bringing it up, and his (apparently hot af according to the composition and recording teachers) sister is married to a famous jazz sax player kenny garrett, whom he once put on speaker phone to me flexing “female bass player” so i could hear him practice cycles of fourths terribly on piano, he thinks deodorant is poison so he puts cloves in his armpits but that just makes him smell worse, but i legit see him with a can of guru every day and he roasted me for having coke zero yesterday, wears so much baby powder on his always bare feet that u can scrape it out of the bass drum pedals with a key, and when that happened we also found a rotten caf tuna wrap in his file cabinet

d) he didnt show up to any of my friend’s lessons two years ago, then gave him a 37 because he forgot that he was the one skipping lessons

e) so he calls security when we leave our bags unattended because he thinks we’re bringing bombs into the department???

anyways so the program coordinator, the dean and me are working on a list of offenses to get him fired and get a competent drum teacher, but the union is being b8 and saying as long as he doesnt touch someone or have child porn, they cant do shit + his dad just died and his mom is v sick so apparently he cant get fired, OH AND he illegally uses his mom’s car w her accessible parking sticker to steal spots from disabled students no matter how many times security c alls him out on it bc hes not disabled

he tries to bring “all female student bands” to hotel gigs and such and tells his combo members to dress sexy and he’s like actually such a perv holy fuck

he fkn doesn’t even practice he just fills for hours straight and he tells his students that playing loud and busy and odd times is more important than grooving, and during lessons he legit just plays this fkn ridiculous synth tone and only like 3 things, one of them being oh canada but atonal and another is a diminished tetrachord and it GOES ON ALL DAY

if a student is standing in the hallway he makes sure to pass by as close as he can and say excuse me fkn loud even if there’s space

he smells like shit and he makes people so uncomfortable that other teachers will see him talk to students and immediately strike up a conversation

so anyways he fkn called security on our bags and i told one of them ( a new one) that this is common and not to be taken seriously and he was like “yo you gotta protect yourself, my ex girlfriend is taking me to court because she says i hit her, but she made it up and she’s lying but i would win anyways because i’m in the judicial system, anyways if he fucks with your bags again just call the cops and tell them there’s a n**** trying to fuck with you” ok completely unrelated wtf and this security guard wasn’t black but the other one was and was clearly rattled, OH ALSO this was after a 15 min long convo abt racism and slavery that both security guards and the teacher were involved him (also my friend ryan is half jamaican and the drum teacher once fully like mimed whipping him and everyone was like wtf), but anyways all this time im like backing up and the security guy is coming closer, then an hour later they come kick us out like they always do at that time when school closes and then the guy told me he got fired because he had dyspraxia and this was the 12th job he lost, and i was like... r u sure it’s not cause u told a student you were in court for domestic abuse and used a racial slur, and then we see my friend coming out of the practice rooms and he FULLY DOES IT AGAIN hes like is that ur friend or my n*** and im like BRUV WTF and it’s like.... idk if any of this is problematic but like... how the fUCK are people supposed to feel safe in this school