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dibbiedabbiedoobie · 2 years

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Cage

Another voretober prompt! Cage, this time. Do not look at me for the fandom, I also have a Pri/de & Pre/jud/ice fic laying around somewhere. Vore brain never stops, not even for classic literature. I also did try to imitate the style a little but like... i am Bad at That lmao

Word Count: 1882 Fandom: The Gre/at Gat/sby Tags: safe vore, soft vore, unwilling prey, fearplay, fatal vore (implied, past) Summary: Nick is a tiny caught and conditioned to eventually become a pliant meal. Gatsby is the giant who steals him.

Shivering, I curl inwards on myself, trying to burrow deeper into my thin, raggedy shirt. It's terribly cold in Tom's cellar now that winter has set, and the metal flooring of my cage only saps at what little warmth I have left. I crouch on my toes, trying to limit contact, but it helps little. Really, all it does is upset my ribs, which are still bruised from yesterday's "training," as Tom calls it. In actuality, it's more akin to torture. At the slightest fault -- or even lack thereof -- he likes to squeeze me until my bones feel as though they're about to snap. It's most common for him to simply take me around the chest and crack a few ribs, but he's also narrowly avoided breaking my limbs and skull. He likes to drop me, too. Never from too high, lest he lose his toy, but enough to hurt and leave me winded. My body is splattered with bruises of various colors, like a macabre sort of painting. I wish I had someone to gripe with, to share complaints and comforts, but I'm the only one left. There were twelve of us, but Tom gobbled them up as it suited his fancy, forcing me to listen as they were slowly digested alive. Those muffled screams haunt my sleep, sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat. I know I'll be next, soon. As much as I seem to be Tom's favorite, I'm still only a snack to him. The thought makes me equal parts terrified and relieved; God knows I don't want to die, but at least I'll be free from the bruises, beatings, and constant anxiety. My heart leaps into my chest as the cellar door creeks open, though my body is too sore to jump. A man appears, tall and broad and clean-shaven, with short-clipped blond hair. He wears a sweater vest over a collared shirt, and neat black slacks; if he weren't about to kill me, I'd call him handsome. As it is, I whimper softly and press as far away from the cage door as I can manage. Though I know my death is inevitable, I still don't wish it to come now. Surprisingly, he falters, almost as if my own shock put him off. His face softens, and he whispers a mournful, "Oh, poor thing..." I remain pressed against the back of my cage, mindful not to ever meet his eyes (a staple of Tom's training). His voice sounds so sad, and it thoroughly confuses me. Perhaps he's upset I clearly can't put up the sort of fight he wants? Or because I don't have enough meat to be as filling a snack as he would like? He bends down to get a better look at me, and I can't help but feel like a mouse under a cat's scrutinizing eye. Trapped, waiting to see if their captor is hungry enough for this particular meal. "Jay! Where'd you go?" Tom's muffled voice calls from above, startling the man. The giant -- Jay -- bites his lip, then flips open the lock to my cage. "Sorry about this, old sport." Immediately, I grab a hold of the bars -- for as much as this place has represented captivity, it's represented safety, too. Here, I wasn't hurt or squeezed or threatened. As awful as it was, cold and uncomfortable and dark, it was safe. More safe than the hands of a giant could ever hope to be. Jay... hesitates before reaching for me. I don't understand that either, though I suppose it doesn't matter much; he's still planning to eat me, and no amount of pity will stop his stomach acids. With terrifying ease, he plucks me away and lifts me aloft. His fingers are almost too hot against my frigid skin, and I can't help a sharp yelp. "You're so cold, old sport," murmurs Jay, yet again mournful. "I'll have that fixed up in a jiffy. Just relax, alright? Trust me." He opens his maw wide, too-sharp teeth gleaming in the dim lights. He starts to lower me inside, and suddenly I find my voice. "S-Stop!" I cry, beginning to wriggle for all I'm worth. "Please! No! Let me go, please!" Of course, it does nothing to stop the giant from pushing my body onto his tongue. My heart feels like it's somehow going even faster, and I keep squirming, though to no avail. Something raw and pained bubbles in my throat, until a scream comes out. What little light there is begins to dim, and I realize he's closing his mouth, Try as I might, though, I can't get the traction on his tongue to wrench myself free, not before I'm locked in the dark behind a wall of teeth. Jay ignores me, instead tossing me about and slathering me in spit. His tongue is probing, thorough with its work, making me squirm and fight against it. He spends far less time than I expect enjoying me, though; too soon, gravity tips, and a thick glk! drags me into the hot and tight of his throat. The powerful muscles squeeze my body, press in on my chest and make it near impossible to breathe, let alone squirm. I can feel myself growing light-headed, though I suppose that's for the best, given that I'm already going to suffocate. Unfortunately, I'm still conscious when I finally squeeze into Jay's stomach. For a long moment, I simply sit, let the dizziness fade. Then, I simply sit, let reality sink in. I'm going to die here. Soon enough, acids will pour from the walls, the air will thin, and I'll die. If I still had tears left, I might cry. Instead, I pull myself into a ball and wait; there's no point squirming, not anymore. The flesh around me groans, briefly squeezing me tighter than my already snug confines before relaxing. It's already trying to digest me, I belatedly realize. And yet, it never manages to get further. The acids never come, and there's little the churning can do to break down something not already acid-softened. The air, stale though it may be, remains breathable, somehow. Frankly, I don't understand it. Why would Jay eat me, but not digest me? Was it even intentional? What is he going to do with me once he realizes I'm not turning into mush like I should be? I can hear him talking to someone, presumably Tom. He seems in a hurry to leave, no doubt because he indulged himself in the last of the other giant's stock. Perhaps in a rush to get home, take whatever medicines he needs to kick his digestion into gear. I relax, just enough to settle. There's no point in remaining stiff; I'm helpless, and we both know it. The least I can hope for is death to be swift when it comes. I find myself looking around, feeling the walls, though I know there's not really much to find. It's as dark and cramped as I'd imagined a stomach to be, though much, much softer, almost like a hammock made of plush pillows. Saliva, or whatever the fluid around me happens to be, covers every inch, including myself. It's warm as well, warm enough that it feels like a blanket rather than just the air. It's... comfortable, I realize. Far more comfortable than I think an organ meant to process food has any right to be. I startle as something presses against my side and someone rumbles, "Are you alright, old sport?" I blink. Surely, he isn't talking to me. "Old sport?" Jay tries again, and the pressure returns, probing (I realize then that it's his hand). "I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I only want to make sure that you're alright. Hesitantly, I push my hand against one of the fleshy walls. I'm not certain what he wants from me, but he hasn't killed me yet. It would probably be in my best interests to let him know I'm alive. "Oh! There you are!" His voice brightens, though it remains soft enough that it doesn't hurt my ears. "Are you alright?" It takes a moment to find my voice. "I... I think so..." Jay's acknowledgement comes in the form of a gentle pet against my side. "I'm ever so sorry for scaring you like that, old sport. If I'd had the chance, I would've told you that you'd be safe." "Safe?" I murmur, in spite of the fact that it's long since been clear that I won't be harmed. All the same, it's difficult to believe that was intentional. "Of course, dear boy, perfectly safe. Tom had bragged about catching a few humans, so I popped down to help while he was distracted." Jay's voice goes quieter, solemn. "...Sorry I couldn't have gotten there earlier." I whine softly, mourning the loss of people I never really knew. Distant they might have been, none of them deserved to die, and much less is such an awful, painful way. "I can't let you out quite yet," Jay continues, "but I promise I will as soon as I'm home. It's not safe for you to be outside right now, not with hungry giants with intentions far less pure than mine." "What are your intentions?" I ask before I can stop myself. I still don't know why Jay seems intent on keeping me safe. Am I a pet? A snack of sorts? He went through an awful lot of trouble for me, and it makes no sense. "To give you a home, old sport," answers Jay without missing a beat. "You're just as much a sentient creature as I am, and you deserve more than to be murdered in cold blood." "Oh." Jay chuffs sadly. "I bet you expected to be a pet, didn't you? ...It's not an unfair assumption, I suppose, given your experiences. But I said I'd keep you safe, and part of that is making sure you're healthy, mentally as well as physically. Perhaps it's just me, but the idea of being owned does little to calm my mind, even if by someone benevolent." I bite my lip, hesitant. "...Really?" "I promise." Something in my chest does a little flip. The prospect of somewhere safe to stay, where I don't have to constantly watch for hungry giants or have to struggle to find food and water is so tempting.... and if Jay had meant ill, I wouldn't be alive right now. But still.... "Will I be able to leave?" I ask. "Of course. Like I said, you aren't a pet. And you don't have to stay now if you don't want to. I only ask that you take some time to recover before you leave, for your own safety." I stare into the darkness. Such open, unadulterated generosity is strange to me. Other borrowers were constantly competing; there was no such thing as sharing, there. To have it from a giant is even more unnerving. Yet here I sit, nestled whole, safe, and alive in his stomach. I should be long dead, but Jay has been nothing short of hospitable. If it's a ruse, it's one I can't see through or bring myself to mistrust. "I'll stay with you, if you don't mind." Jay gives my side a stroke. "You won't regret it, old sport. I promise."

#dibbiewrites #v.ore #v0re #safe vore #soft vore #extreme cuddling #fearplay #the gre/at gat/sby #i suppose the vorified tag would be like #the great voresby #that looks silly but i guess it works #wondering if anyone else has written unironic gat/sby vore of if i'm the first

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narrators-journal · 3 years

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Hello, I really like your work! and i would like to know if you can make yandere killua and yandere illumi fighting each other for the reader. The reader is a friend of Killua and is the same age as him, 18 years old.

Alright! This might be a bit iffy in parts because I never write actual confrontations, but I hope it's enjoyable! I couldn't really slip in some real yandere behavior, so I kinda implied it to keep things short lol.

Killua'd known you for a while now, about two years, from the age of 16 to now, his eighteenth birthday, and he liked you quite a bit. Because of this, the silver-haired man had begun to keep an even stricter eye on you than he had in the past. That's why you were tagging along to Killua's family home with him and Gon to let his family celebrate so that he could keep you safe and close. Besides, he'd rather you met Illumi under his watch than on the roads and by complete chance. So, Alluka was safely in a secure hotel room and you were walking up to the gates to Hades with him and Gon. "You sure you can't just do this over the phone?" You asked, your (e/c) eyes swimming with concern for him, it made his stomach flutter with butterflies. "Nah, my mom would have a fit if I didn't come home for my eighteenth birthday. But, if they try to introduce me to a 'nice girl', we run." That made you and Gon both giggle, but nod. Despite it being silly, the three of you knew it was highly likely. It would be too much to ask that Illumi and Milluki be the favored ones. Killua thought bitterly as he spotted the gates to Hades up ahead, but no. He and Illumi were something akin to the favorites out of his five siblings, the most 'loved' was Killua, he was the heir, so of course he was expected to breed and carry on the line, but Illumi was the eldest, so he too was expected to find a wife and have children. It was an awful fate that some part of Killua, deep down, felt sorry for his brother over, but it was a small portion.

With a firm shake of his head, Killua shooed the thoughts away and huffed at the doors that he now stood in front of, "We'll do our best to get out quickly," Gon chirped, giving the white-haired assassin a confident smile, which he returned, "Yeah! Real quick," he confirmed, before leading them to the testing gates and easily opening them all. "Y'know (y/n), each of those doors is supposed to be 2 tons each? and each bigger one is twice the weight of the corresponding one!" Gon boasted, bringing an astounded look to your face, "Holy shit, really?! Isn't that...128 tons though?" Gon nodded "Yep! Killua can open them all," he boasted, beaming with pride in his friend, ignoring the pink-cheeked glare Killua threw his way as they walked onto the mountain.

As to be expected, the Zoldycks had sent Gotoh, their head butler, with a car, so the trio was spared the miles of walking it took to get to the actual main house. So, instead, they spent the ride talking and joking, which helped to combat the knot of dread in Killua's stomach. Something just told him that this visit wasn't going to end well, but he couldn't say why he felt that way. When he got inside the manor, he got his answer.

It wasn't that he and Illumi were still on bad terms, he'd tentatively begun to mend fences with his eldest brother at sixteen after years of blubbering and pestering from his mother, but the way Illumi's soulless eyes locked onto you when he spotted you did not sit well with the silver-haired Zoldyck. However, his mother tackled him before he could stop his brother from approaching you and striking up a conversation. The only comfort he got was in knowing you were talking to him almost solely out of the need to be polite, you'd been warned enough about the manipulative snake to know to be wary. "you've grown so much! I barely recognize you anymore," Kikyo half squealed and half chided as if Killua could help himself growing to be Illumi's height, maybe a bit more, but the man just rolled his icy blue eyes, staying quiet to avoid his mother shrieking at him about how she was a good mother who loved him or something.

After his mother was done fussing at him, Killua returned to you, sticking close to you and Gon so he didn't lose his cool, doing so would only lengthen how long they'd have to stay. However, he also came over to interrupt Illumi's conversation with you, "Hey, (y/n), ya doing okay?" he asked, not bothering to hide his concern about his brother, which got him a pointed look from said brother, "Oh, yeah, just been chatting with your brother." you hummed, and while he could tell you were still wary, it was far less rigid as it was before. Of fucking course he'd do this bullcrap he thought, scanning over you to ensure his older sibling hadn't stuck you with a needle. Thankfully he hadn't, so that meant Illumi'd just charmed you. Disgusting.

Nonetheless, he bit back the urge to grab you and run and instead just talked to you and slowly led you away from Illumi. After that, things mellowed out for Killua and the day wasn't as much of a nightmare as he'd thought it would be, though that was mostly because he hung out with Gon and you more than his family. That wasn't to say he wasn't polite to his siblings, especially Kalluto, and nice to his parents, but he kept a distance from them. He especially kept a distance from Illumi, and he made sure you did the same so that the assassin couldn't put a needle in you or charm you anymore. However, Illumi approached him around evening, when you'd been drug off by Kikyo to 'have a chat' aka be interrogated for knowing her son so well. "I know why you avoid me nowadays," Illumi hummed in his usual bored, almost-sleepy voice as he watched the tv and acted as if he didn't notice his younger brother's evil look. "but what bugs me right now, is you keeping (y/n) away from me. You know that I need a partner, your friend is a viable option, you're just being rude to stop me from at least trying to date her." He continued, and Killua could almost taste the annoyance in his deadpan brother's aura, but all it did was put a spark of malicious joy in his soul. "First, my friends shouldn't be options for you, second, quit fucking talking about them like they're a piece of meat. (y/n) is a fucking human, not a damned broodmare for you." he pointed out in as cool of a tone as he could manage, both so no malice slips into his aura and affects Gon, who was next to him, and to further annoy Illumi. "Is it because you have a crush on her? No offense, Kill, but that won't stop me from making a move if she's available. they're very cute, and I wouldn't mind having her for myself." the dead-eyed man said coldly, staring down at the younger man.

For a moment or two after that, Killua and Illumi gave each other lethal looks, having a silent argument that was so palpable that Gon finally got up and moved, knowing better than to try and intervene or help his friend with family spats. It turned out the dark haired boy had the right idea, because almost as soon as he'd gotten up, the two went at each other like a pair of hostile dogs.

Killua was swiftly thrown to the ground by his older brother, but since he was no longer twelve, Killua's punch in response did actual damage instead of being ignored. Though he still stood no chance against him, Killua did his best to punch, kick, and bite his brother, managing to roll him over and slam his head into the floor before he retaliated with a punch to the throat. Meanwhile, Gon, Milluki, and the other siblings watched and cheered, either for Illumi or killua, encouraging them or throwing out advice for how to win the fight until Silva and Zeno finally came in and pried the two brothers apart. They ended up having to hold the two apart, because as soon as they were on their feet, Killua kicked his brother in the stomach and was nearly yanked off his feet as a result. "That is enough." Silva snapped, his voice not loud, but still firm enough to clear the wrathful red from Killua's eyes a bit and stop him from initiating another fist fight. "You two are now adults, having squabbles like this is unacceptable." he scolded, the brothers deflating in shame as they were finally released and further chewed out.

Finally, they were returned back to the social setting, and Killua was forced to put on a happy face for the rest of the night. He would've stayed pissed, maybe even attack Illumi a fifth time, but you were there, and he didn't want to worry you with the story. However, through dinner and the onslaught of gifts you and Gon helped him carry out, whenever you weren't looking or he was alone, Zeno and Silva once again would have to stop them from coming to blows before Killua finally left to go to a hotel for the night despite his mother offering his old room.

#yandere killua #yandere illumi #hxh #hunter x hunter #x reader #yandere #ask #implied yandereism

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whitexwingedxdoves · 3 years

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Ghosts [Ending]

Chapter 3 : The End.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Pronouns: She/Her Time Frame: Pre Apocalypse Warnings: strong language, crime, implied sexual activity. Summary: a few of weeks have past and you have been on the run with the brothers when you come across trouble. A/N: she a little longer than the other parts but, ahhhh, I enjoyed writing all three parts so much. Ugh. Thank you everyone who liked/reblogged any of the parts, it means a lot.

Read Part One Here. Read Part Two Here.

It had been a couple of weeks since you stole the money and you had been on the road with the brothers for a few weeks now. Nothing that momentous happened. You got to know Daryl a little more and Merle well, there wasn’t much to know that you didn’t already know. When you went to the store, Daryl would be right there with you, if you went to collect wood for the fire at night, he’d be searching with you. It was comforting knowing he was always there and it made you feel safe. The butterflies in your stomach couldn’t contain themselves every time he stopped you from going alone anywhere, you couldn’t deny the growing feeling you had for the man, even despite that way he acted like a dick in front of people because you knew exactly what he was like behind the façade. Tonight was no different, you had passed into a town where Merle had mentioned he knew some people that lived there and as soon as you set up the tents he left to go find them, he tried to convince Daryl to leave with him but he refused, claiming he was too tired but both he and Merle knew it was because he couldn’t leave you, not for anything.

The night quickly dawned on you and though the air was cold and crisp the fire that was going kept you both sufficiently warm as you emptied your tin bowls that were once filled with a questionable tinned, meat soup. Sitting in the grass, you laid your bowl down next to you before leaning back on a log you had found earlier, intended for sitting on. You gazed up at the stars and allowed yourself to get lost in the silence of the night but only briefly

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it.” You spoke almost in a whisper, a satisfied sigh passing your lips. Daryl bit down on his lip nervously as he watched, completely oblivious to the way his eyes drank in your every curve.

“Mmh” was the only sound he could even muster to make while he stayed hooked on your image. Your eyes fell from the sky and down on Daryl, you watched as he shifted his weight a little like he had just been caught cheating on a test. You couldn’t help but laugh a little at his reaction, the butterflies making their appearance again. You managed to swallow a lump in your throat you never even knew was there, your eyes escaping his.

You both awkwardly sat for a while before Daryl pushed himself off the log and down beside you. You smiled in his direction as he shifted closer to you, his arm now laying behind you on the log. You leaned into him slightly, your cheeks burning up as you did so. You couldn’t help but feel so lucky to have found someone like him, despite the cost it came at. After all the shit life had thrown at you, you felt like this was life’s way of apologising. Despite not actually being his, he treated you as if you were. Hell, he treated you better than men who actually got to call you theirs in the past. Before you knew it, your head was cradled in the crook of his neck. You didn’t know it but his heart was beating faster than he thought humanly possible, the breeze blowing the scent of your hair into his face so he couldn’t avoid it. It was like torture to him, but he liked it.

You sat like that for a while, you didn’t know how long exactly but if it ended soon it would be too soon. You watched the fire slowly going down but neither of you moved to add more fire. You finally felt his weight under your shift and almost instantly you felt disappointed. That was until you felt his finger tips, gently cradling your chin, by this point the butterflies were going crazy, you wondered if they would ever stop now you knew the feel of his hands on your face. He looked deep into your eyes as you shifted slowly to face him better, getting lost in the pattern of your iris before he leaned closer to your face, planting his lips against yours. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, like he was waiting for your approval and as soon as you kissed him back he didn’t hold back. The kiss grew hungry and his hands couldn’t get enough of your body as they thirstily explored your body, you didn’t mind in fact you loved the way his hands felt on you.

You laid there in the tent, with only a sleeping bag keeping the cool night air at bay. You stared into Daryl’s crystal blue eyes as he held you close to him. Your fingertips exploring his face neither of you could hold back your smiles. Your hands now run through his hair as he allows his eyes to close. You had never felt so loved, not like you did in this moment right now. The way his arms and legs entwined with yours felt like home. You couldn’t believe your luck. One of your hands now falling onto his bare chest, you felt him squeeze you a little tighter. The intimate moment you just shared with him made your heart burst with joy, you had fallen head over heels for him. For Daryl Dixon. You watched as the corners of his mouth lifted slightly, giving you a half smile as he attempted to drift off to sleep and you decided to do the same. You pulled yourself closer to him and placed a loving kiss on his chest before nuzzling your face into his peck and closed your eyes.

Your tender moment was cut short when you both heard bushes rustle from behind you, your eyes shooting open instantly, though you didn’t move not immediately, you waited to hear something else and you did. It was a muffled voice. “Merle” Daryl growled, pulling away from you, you both scrambled to put clothes on and leave the tent where you were greeted by Merle falling over himself, completely out of it. How’d he even find his way back. It took you a moment to realise this wasn’t just the effects of alcohol, no you saw how his eyes rolled around his head as if they lost all control. Your stomach twisted as you watched his jaw swinging. The same look you showed your sister before she died plastered all over your face. Disgust. You watched Daryl as he struggled to keep his brother still for even a second. His voice seemed to break as he cussed at his brother, almost like he was holding back tears. You couldn’t just stand and watch him struggle despite the way you felt about the situation, soon you were supporting half of Merle’s weight on your shoulder while Daryl’s shoulders took the brunt of it. You both moved your way towards one of the tents and placed Merle down on top of his sleeping bag. Turning him on his side, Daryl grunted into his hands. You left the tent without speaking, going back into your own and picking up the sleeping bags that laid on the floor. Reluctantly you turned back to the tent where Merle laid slurring on his own breath. Chucking the bags in before you entered you took a sharp, deep breath pushing your doubt further away. Daryl needs you.

Ducking back into the tent you caught Daryl’s puzzled look, he thought for sure Merle had screwed this up for him but your warm smile melted away that thought. You sat beside him and pulled the sleeping bags over your laps.

“We’re gonna have to keep an eye on him” Daryl just nodded in response, his arm wrapping around your waist to keep you close.

“M’ sorry f this.” He groaned, his thumb stroking your hip as he propped himself up against the tent, careful not to put too much weight on it. You just shook your head at his words, your hand falling into his lap and allowing your thumb to mimic his.

“This aint your fault, you don’t need to be sorry.” You whispered back. You both remained silent for the rest of the night, in and out of sleep in fear Merle will meet the same fate your sister did back at in the trailer.

The next morning, Merle woke up first. The first thing he saw was you and Daryl, cuddled up into the corner of the tent. Your head laying on his shoulder and his arm draped down your side. He couldn’t help but smirk at the image, sort of proud of his baby brother for actually going for it. It wasn’t lost on him how Daryl looked at you... in fact in the small and few moments you weren’t in ears distance he’d tease Daryl about his obvious feelings for you. You both snapped up at the smallest sound of his sleeping bag ruffling. Your heart was racing, worried that when your eyes would open you’d be staring down at Merle’s corpse, you soon settled down as you saw the sinister smirk laced all over his features, staring at you. Daryl noticed his look and his hand slowly came away from your hip. Both of you shifted awkwardly as Merle’s stare never seemed to leave you. The way he made you feel when he was looking at you was intense and you decided you had, had enough and pushed to your feet to leave the tent. The muffled sound of Merle’s laugh now behind you as you went to retrieve some water from your tent.

Your hand only entered the tent before you pulled out two bottles of water, you heard footsteps behind you but you chose not to acknowledge them until you turned on your heel. It was Daryl, you allowed yourself to relax and even let a small smile pass your lips as he walked towards you. You handed him a bottle of water, once that hand was free you twisted the cap off the bottle and engaged in a rather large intake of water. You admired the way the cold crisp water eased your throat from being dry. Until you heard that sinister laughter again, only clearer this time.

“So it finally happened, baby bro got his dick wet!” you stared daggers at the older Dixon as he left his tent, you felt Daryl move away from you which only caused you to roll your eyes.

“What the hell were you thinking last night?” you finally spat at him, taking a couple of steps in his direction.

“Woah, pretty girl. No one said ya had to play mommy!” he laughed in your direction, it took everything you had not to slap the look right from his face.

“After everything that’s happened, you go do something like that! Are you really that fucking selfish or just stupid?” your words seemed to fall on empty ears as he only shot you a look, a look that said oh well. Just then you felt Daryl’s hands on your waist, attempting to calm you down and though you hate to admit it. It did.

Just as you turned to him the empty fields filled with a blood curdling scream, echoing and bouncing off the trees. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and tried to pin point the direction in which the scream came from. That’s when you noticed in the distance just behind the tree’s, a silhouette of a house. You pointed in the direction and without thinking you and Daryl ran towards it. You heard Merle jog along behind you both though he attempted to convince you it wasn’t a good idea, but you both ignored him.

Finally reaching the house, you saw no one but the front door was wide open and on the porch laid a mug and the coffee that once occupied it spilled onto the wood floor. You looked over at Daryl, the worry sinking in before you passed the door frame and into the house. Everything seemed scattered, books from book shelves had fallen carelessly on the floor, the coffee table was now on its side and other decorative items scattered along the floor, some coming to their fate, no longer in one piece. You both looked around for a moment before you heard the sound of something heavy hit the floor from upstairs. Your brain didn’t have long to catch up as your legs instinctively carried you up the stairs.

No one in that house was prepared for what you saw up there. No one. It took you a second to process what was happening. At first you noticed 3 children huddled in the corner, shaking and crying, your eyes panned down to what they were so afraid of. You watched as a figure of what could have been human was hunched over what you presumed to be the children’s mother, using its hands to tear into her skin and eat it, slurping on her blood like she was nothing but spare ribs. Your stomach turned and you had to hold yourself back from throwing up. You looked back up at the children, finally hearing Daryl come from behind you. You looked around the room to stop who or whatever it was, you located a fire poker and without any hesitation you started hitting the creature, repeatedly. It didn’t seem to react much until you started hitting its head repeatedly, you just couldn’t stop. You kept going until you finally saw what looked like brains seep out of the side of its head. The creature had finally stopped moving. You took a moment to look at it. It looked human... only dead. Like it had been dead for a long time, yet it moved. This is when you threw up. Daryl had made his way to the kids attempting to block their sight, shielding them from the violence you showed. You couldn’t move. You felt Merle’s hands on you, making you drop the fire poker. He was talking to you but you just could hear him. He kept tugging on you, trying to get you to leave the room but you just couldn’t. You finally snapped out of it when you heard Daryl shout your name.

“We need to go!” Merle followed up, now he finally had your attention. You just nodded at him and followed him down the stairs. You heard Daryl put the children in another room and told them not to go anywhere, you heard him explain that he would get them soon but they just needed to stay quiet for a moment. Merle guided you outside and let his grip go as he looked around for a car of sorts. You could tell now how panicked he was, he was practically hyperventilating as he frantically looked around the property. You too now looking around, only noticing now that you were at a farm house. It looked so peaceful outside despite the horrors you just witnessed. You kept watching in the distance as Daryl approached you.

“We gotta get these kids outta here.” He spoke simply, grabbing your face to make him look at him. “It’s gonna be okay” he said softly all you could do was nod. He let go of your face as he followed his brother who had spotted a couple of cars, near a shed. Merle didn’t spare any time breaking into one and climbing into the driver's seat.

You watched as Daryl pulled open the back seat and passenger seat doors. “Need to go get the kids” Daryl announced to his brother who rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Forget the damn kids, we need to go!” he snarled, working his fingers along the wires of the car to start the engine. You watched from the porch as they argued about the well-being of the children but your concentration was cut short at the sound of the tree’s next to the house rustling. There were more of those creatures. Your eyes widened as you started to run towards the car. You mind going 100 miles per hour as you try to figure out what to do. You knew you couldn’t get the kids in the car by the time the creatures went to the house, it wasn’t safe. Nor could you just leave them. You glanced back slightly to see how long you had exactly to save everyone and thankfully they didn’t seem to be fast. Once you reached the car you closed the back seat door.

“You need to leave now!” Your voice broke as you held onto Daryl’s arm, pushing him slightly to edge him into the passenger seat. You felt the resistance as he pushed back against you.

“No!” he growled at you but it didn’t stop you from pushing. “I ain’t goin’ without ya!” His voice was starting to break which only caused your eyes to fill with tears. Shaking your head as you finally got him to sit in the seat.

“There’s no time. They need me.” You pleaded with the southern man, your eyes spilling with tears as you attempted to shut the door. Daryl fought back, trying his best to keep the door open and push himself out. “Your brother needs you and those kids need me!” you shouted as you managed to close the door slightly, your strength over powering his despite how much he fought with you. “I’ll find you. I promise” you whimpered as you finally shut the door. Merle took it as his cue to instantly take off driving. Your breathing become difficult as you watched him drive away, your stomach dropped as you struggled to compose yourself but you had no time to dwell and just like that you took off towards the house.

It had been a while since you first saw the rise of the dead. If you had to guess you’d say about a year, maybe two. Cutting your way through a forest with a knife you came across an open field and there sat a shed. You allowed yourself to relax for a moment, finally shelter. You had been on the road for a long time and the sun was the hottest it had ever been. You turned around slightly to catch a glimpse of Cody. Cody was one of the children you saved back at the farm house when everything started. He was the only one who made it out alive after all these years. You blame yourself for letting those monsters get his sisters but you were thankful that at least he made it out okay. Though he was only 14 he sure didn’t act like it. He had to grow up fast to adapt to the new world. He smiled at you, thankful to have found the shed too. Though your victory was cut short by a sudden attack. The dead again, it had become routine for you and the boy to fight them off but they outnumbered you. You were only used to taking on maybe 4 at a time but you struggled this time. Keeping Cody at your side, you took down a couple of them, trying to keep them at bay so they couldn’t get their teeth or nails into your skin.

It felt like you were pushing against them forever until you felt the weight of one drop from your arms. The rest soon followed suit and almost instantly you pushed your back against Cody in an attempt to protect him. Looking around your gaze finally met a group of people, all with their weapons pointed in your direction. You couldn’t help but feel tense at the sight of people. Now more than ever you don't trust very easily.

“Put down your weapons” A man called out, you watched the group to locate whose voice it was that when a slender man started stepping closer to you. His gun still pointed at you but one hand held out. “We don’t want to hurt you” He announced. You found yourself in a sticky situation, the last thing you wanted to do was drop your knife but you did. Cody followed your actions and dropped his.

“Wait!” a gravelly voice shouted out beyond the tree’s. You thought for a moment you recognised it, your eyes darting around the group in hopes to see a familiar face. You watched as a man pushed through the small crowd, holding a crossbow. You couldn’t see his face but the shape of his figure was familiar to you. You didn’t know why but it felt comforting. He pushed past the man who held his gun at you and finally you saw his face. It was Daryl. Your body fell slightly as you saw him step closer to you. Your eyes welled up and you tried to catch your breath before you started walking towards him, each step faster than the other. Finally you fell into his arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed tightly. Your body relaxing at the feel of his arms wrapped around your waist. You stayed like that for a moment in complete disbelief.

Pulling away reluctantly, your hands cupping his face, your eyes darting around his face drinking in his features allowing a small laugh pass your lips. His eyes welled up staring into your eyes again, his lips curling into a smile as the reality of you finally being in front of him again set in. “It’s really you” you whimpered your eyes not daring to leave him. He dropped his head slightly, nodding a small laugh passing his lips now. He turned slightly on his heels back towards the group, they all just laughed slightly as if they knew exactly who you were. Like you were a frequent topic of conversation.

“Y/N” a voice cracked from behind you, allowing your eyes to pull away from Daryl you looked behind you and dragged Cody into your arms.

“I found him” you whispered into Cody’s long hair, Cody just held you tightly. He knew exactly who this man was. It’s not easy to forget someone who saved your life. He finally let go of you as Daryl turned back around to get another look at you though he was met with your lips on his. He didn’t fight it, he just sank into it, his hands wrapping around your waist as if it was second nature to him despite how long it had been since he last got to hold you. This moment right here was worth every second of pain, every fight, every restless night because now you were home.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #the walking dead daryl #twd fanfiction #twd x you #norman reedus fanfic #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x y/n

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thebadchoicemachine · 4 years

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Yall want some MYCT Magnus Archive Headcanons I may or may not draw? (Pt 1?)

I will try to include individual trigger warnings at the beginning of each explanation as much as I can think of. They may seem a little overboard but better safe than sorry. Remember, TMA is a horror podcast.

(ALSO, EVERYTHING HERE IS /RP. EVEN WHEN I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT A ROLEPLAY VIDEO PLEASE KNOW I’M MAKING UP A CHARACTER BASED OFF THEIR CHANNEL AND AM NOT ACTUALLY ACCUSING THEM OF BEING A SERVANT TO A MALEVOLENT FEAR ENTITY.)

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Philza

1. An End Avatar (TW, Numb/Apathetic Mindset)

He’s a reaper. An immortal. You only live once but life’s become, not meaningless, more like desaturated. He doesn’t care in a cheery “oh well” way. He’s pretty chill about it. He’s extremely chill about it. He is disturbingly chill about it. At first it seems great, he’s just a nice chill guy! No evil schemes or vicious plots. Just spending time with him seems to calm your nerves. And then you spend more time and you begin to understand why, things aren’t as important as you make them seem. You catastrophize a lot. Then a catastrophe happens and you’re not... upset. Why... why would you be? It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. It won’t in a hundred years and it doesn’t now. would end the same anyways. And then he starts to be less and less relatable. Why is he so happy? Why does he bother to go meet people and smile and eat or laugh or frown. You can’t belive you ever complained that he was so mild about everything, any amount is more than is worth. Why bother? Why... bother...

2. A Vast Avatar (TW, Heights?)

He just fucking tosses people into the sky instead of being upset with them. Do anything he doesn’t like? SWOOSH. It’s to the point it’s not even a malicious thing, it’s just routine. He gets up, goes to the store, picks up some groceries, sends a person who cut in line to a void of dusk with swirling black clouds where you fall so long you can’t tell if you’re flying up or down or left or right, maybe gets some mints, goes home, puts groceries away, does the dishes, etc.

(the rest of the cast below the cut)

Tubbo

1. A Corruption Avatar (TW, Body Horror Surrounding Lungs, Swarming Insects, Implied Murder.)

He has bees in his lungs and he loves them very much. If he ever gets something stuck in his throat or has water go down the wrong pipe he will FEAK OUT. He often has to cough up honey (and sometimes bees). It’s... a process. He just sits over a bucket or jar and hacks his little heart out. He sometimes saves the honey and offers it to people. Amazingly, his friends never take him up on the offer. Unsuspecting people who don’t know the.. supernatural origin of the honey find they have some... unpleasant side effects. (Bees. The side effect is bees. Specifically ones trying to fly down their throat.) Oh well, being a part of a hive isn’t for everyone. The really unfortunate ones make good fertilizer for his flowers, though! His lungs are literally a hive. If you tried to listen to his heartbeat you’d hear buzzing. He will sometimes hold flowers over his open mouth to let the bees get some easy pollon. He doesn’t usually actively seek out “prey” but when he is trying to feed on that good old fear he’ll act super sweet, too sweet, and then open his mouth and let the bees fly out. It’s very creepy but to him it’s just funny. (Also, all of the bees have names and he has a funeral for every single one that get’s killed.)

Quackity

1. A Spiral Avatar

I- I mean have you seen a single one of his videos?

2. A Stranger Avatar (TW, Unreality Depersonalization )

He mocks people as their own reflection, hopping from pond to mirror to camera to scream at them (sometimes literally) that they do not know who they are. It starts off subtle (Wasn’t your hair a bit longer? Weren’t your eyes a shade lighter? Did you always have that birthmark?”) but grows and changes until it gets to the point you stand in front of a mirror and every time you blink you look completely different. You feel your face, you look at your hands, but it’s no help. They change too fast. Your pictures change too, every single post on all your social media looks like different people posted it- wait... did you always have this platform? You don’t remember ever using it before. You have so many posts... none of them match up. You throw your phone away, noticing you never had the case on it. You turn to real photos for help but they are none. Of course not. You feel like just giving up as you shuffle through photo after photo, you don’t know what you really look like, so what? But then something catches your eye. A photo of you in the 5th grade concert. You don’t remember going to that school. You’ve never played an instrument, have you? Something screams yes and no at the same time. You throw the box down and grab your phone. You need to call someone. You pace throughout a house you recognize less and less searching for clues, reminders, as the phone rings. Your best friend answers. You throw the phone down again. You don’t have a best friend. You’ve never really been one for friends. No, that’s not true, you had a few really good ones but you’ve grown apart. No, that’s not true, you only have one real friend, your boyfriend. No, you don’t have a boyfriend, just a close friend. No, you have many friends just none that are close enough for this bullshit. You stop. No. No you don’t like swearing, do you? Do you? Who are you? Who are you? Your reflection laughs. It’s eating popcorn and making you do a stupid dance. What a bitch.

3. A Flesh Avatar (TW, Body Horror Surrounding Faces and Skin)

You’re a piece of meat, he’s a piece of meat, everyone’s meat. Like Chicken Nuggets.He’ll steal your face right off it’s skull and dance with one in each hand. He’ll put words in your mouth like you’re a puppet with bones. He’ll make you say the dumbest shit because it’s funny. Even when it’s obviously not YOU talking.

Technoblade

1. A Hunt Avatar (TW, Stalking/Genocide)

Many people have suggested a slaughter avatar but I don’t see it. Yeah, he kills (blood for the blood god and all that) but I don’t see it. The Slaughter is about the moment. The unplanned snap. The sudden outbursts. I don’t see that in techno. You know what I DO see that also involves quite a bit of bloodlust? The chase. The planning, the target, the unstoppable dread and panic that overtakes his victims once they realize who is after them. The power. Calculated genocide of victim after victim. The HUNT. My two pain points of evidence: His potato war videos, that time he took over the world, and his stalking speech to Quackity. Go watch an animatic of Technoblade chasing down Quackity and tell me he is not a Hunt Avatar.

Wilbur

1. A Desolation Avatar (TW, Abuse/Torture)

Everything he touches burns and hurts. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes on accident, but either way he’s caught up in enjoying the drama. I’m gonna be honest, my main inspiration was the Villainbur aesthetic but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Look at nearly any of his 100 player videos; designed to create maximum pain for hs enjoyment. Even the Dream SMP where he was mostly a good guy and more tragic than anything else fits. Maybe that Villain Arc was his first dabble as an avatar of destruction and pain. Even making his own father kill him could have been along the lines of “how can I milk as much despair out of this as possible.”

TommyInnit

1. A Slaughter Avatar (TW, Straight Up Murder)

Now HERE is a character right up that slaughter’s alley. No thoughts, not plans, just unbridled passion and rage and violence. He just stabs people whenever he feels like it (which is often) sometimes just with sticks. Like a rabid raccoon just jumps straight at people’s faces out of nowhere, always starting shit and stoking fires to make people angry at each other.

2. A Buried Avatar (TW, small tight spaces)

Tunnels and caves and sticks and spots. He’ll burry you under a mountain, he’ll lock you in a tree. Dirt man. His usual MO is trapping people under an avalanche of stones and rocks and rubble. Basically just lava casting your bones. Everything he makes is ugly but not just in a ”that’s literally a pile of rocks in the middle of the road” way in a bit of an indescribable “looking at that makes me feel like I’m breathing in straight gravel.”

Bonus: Ranboo as a Dark Avatar/Victim. He is not a willing avatar like Jude or Helen, he’s more along the lines of Oliver and Jon.

#dream smp au #dsmp tma au

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cassyapper · 4 years

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jotaro kujo song analysis: “eight” by sleeping at last

i could not figure out what the fuck to title this for a long time. please forgive me ik it’s awkward but it’s the best i got

anyway the song “eight” by sleeping at last made me mentally ill so let’s get into why <3

here’s a link to the song: https://youtu.be/obi4KCh6eHQ

here’s a link to the lyrics i referenced: https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-eight-lyrics

be warned there are part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6 spoilers in this

with that let’s begin.

“I remember the minute;/it was like a switch was flipped --/i was just a kid who grew up strong enough/to pick this armor up,/and suddenly it fit” Lengthy first line to start this on i know but cutting it up didn’t make sense so please forgive me… Alright let’s get to the meat of this hm? This line is about when jotaro first manifested star platinum. “I remember the minute, it was like a switch was flipped” fits perfectly with how suddenly and obviously star platinum became known to its user, as jotaro first manifests it when he’s in the middle of a fight, a fight star platinum ends very quickly and brutally. The “i was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up” is about jotaro having the willpower to control a stand such as star platinum and not get ill over it. He “grew up strong enough to pick this armor up”, this armor being star platinum (which, yes, star platinum is armor more than a weapon because its strength is used to protect. This is stated explicitly in the jin hashimoto song “star platinum” which was written specifically with jotaro/star platinum in mind, as the title suggests). It also shows how young jotaro was re the “kid” description; he was only 17, the youngest jojo up to that point. the “and suddenly it fit” also mixes with how suddenly star platinum manifested, particularly how jotaro gained passable control over it very quickly

“God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…/I was little, I was weak, I was perfectly naive,/and I grew up too quick.” Another long line im sorry it just doesnt make sense to cut it up 😭 Anyway this is part 6 jotaro reflecting on his past self, PARTICULARLY part 3 jotaro, which explains the “god, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…” segment “I was little, i was weak, i was perfectly naive” is kinda gold coming from part 6 jotaro cause end of part 3 jotaro is canonically when he’s at his strongest but i dont think part 6 jotaro is talking about star platinum in this line. He’s talking about jotaro being tactless and rude and pushing away his loved aways in a disillusioned attempt to keep them safe. By part 6, jotaro has to have known his coping mechanism of self-imposed isolation wasnt fair to his loved ones/himself and it clearly didnt WORK as evidenced by jolyne’s situation, so he’s cursing his younger self for it here. Hence, the calling of part 3 jotaro “little, weak, perfectly naive.” part 3 jotaro starts making the bed that part 6 jotaro ends up having to lay in and he hates him for it. The “and I grew up too quick” part is jotaro acknowledging his trauma. Even before part 3 started jotaro clearly had issues and they just kept building and building and building from part 3 and on. Combined with his self-imposed isolation, jotaro had to grow up quick to survive, and this line is part 6 jotaro reflecting on that

“Now you won’t see all that i have to lose,/all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.” Remember the self-imposed isolation i mentioned in the last line? This line is about why jotaro does that. He hates being vulnerable. He hates relying on others. We only see him comfortable trusting others to take care of things ONCE the entire series, during the steely dan arc, when he believes in kakyoin’s abilities to keep joseph safe and get the lovers out of him safely. ONCE out of the four parts he’s featured in, out of the three he’s prominent in. jotaro does this, as i previously mentioned, out of a disillusioned attempt to keep those he loves safe, hence the “now you won’t see all that i have to lose” line. This behavior is solidified in jotaro at the end of stardust crusaders, when the two final times he tried to trust that others would handle it resulted in the deaths of over of half those he cared the most about (he may have gotten joseph back, but don’t forget that joseph did actually die). Thus, this decisive night ties into the “all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” line. He’s lost loved ones but he won’t lose them again, not in the same way at least. Ironically, the self-imposed isolation only puts his loved ones and himself in danger, but i can get into that later.

“I won’t let you in, i swore never again --/i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” This line kinda ties back with what i was mentioning in the last line, but it hones it a bit more on jotaro’s complete denial of being vulnerable rather than how he acts to ensure he isnt such. “I wont let you in, i swore never again” is a direct tie-in for how jotaro feels after stardust crusaders; he is never going to get as close to anyone or anything the way he was close to the crusaders ever again. Nothing is ever going to matter to him the same way and he is going to make sure of that, as the “swore never again” implies, because he is certain, at least at first, that this will keep others safe. The “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” part goes into how selfish and arrogant jotaro’s mentality is. Don’t get me wrong, jotaro’s self-imposed isolation can be seen as selfless, especially because the main driving force behind it is to keep others safe -- but it’s not the only force driving it. Like i said, jotaro doesn’t want to be vulnerable, and to be sure he doesnt feel that way, he needs to ensure he won’t be hurt. Can’t be sad when people die if you were never close to them, right? So as much as it is to protect others, he also is protecting himself by closing off from others. It’s also arrogant of jotaro to assume he is the deciding factor of who lives and dies, that he gets to choose/manipulate the cycle of life and death by deciding on if he opens up to others. Jotaro had this mentality of being a “deciding factor” shoved into his head during the journey to egypt, and that kinda warps his worldview as a result; everything must be his fault. Things go bad surely because he let them somehow. And it’s not jotaro’s fault he’s ill in the head like this but it is still arrogant, and the “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” line attests to this.

“I want to break these bones until theyre better/i want to break them right and feel alive” Oh jotaro you have the shittiest fuckign coping mechanisms Alright. “I want to break these bones until theyre better” ties into jotaro throwing himself into dangerous situations alone. He’s just so so damn convinced he can handle everything himself -- bc again, he is led to believe he is the deciding factor of life and death -- he just has to try. If things go wrong, it’s bc he didn’t try hard enough, hence the “break these bones until theyre better”; jotaro will hurt himself and will be convinced he deserved it until he “learns” how to be perfect like he’s “supposed” to be. But being perfect isnt something you can learn, you mentally ill motherfucker jotaro. anyway “I want to break them right and feel alive” ties into the fact jotaro would rather break his body over and over and over rather than tell his loved ones he cares. The only right way to be hurt to him is taking a hit that was meant for those he loves. Jotaro is very much a man of action rather than a man of word, and this line is about his rather unique way of acting (that is, getting beat the fuck up over and over) Basically jotaro can’t tell the people he loves that he, well, loves them, unless he is literally dying. Examples of what i mean: jotaro preferred going on a perilous, 50-day journey to just telling holly he loved her; jotaro preferred getting beat over the head with a rock in the lovers arc rather than risk hurting joseph; jotaro preferred to literally get blown up by sheer heart attack rather than tell koichi to his face he is a good kid; jotaro stepped knowingly into a trap for jolyne and had to literally believe he was in fact saying his last words before he uttered “i’ve always cherished you.”

“You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong --/my healing needed more than time” Oh my GODDDddDDDdcdd im sobbing as i type jotaro your head is so so damn ill Okay so i see him spitting this line towards joseph. Let me explain Joseph would no doubt pick up on jotaro’s ptsd and he’ll do his best to console jotaro over the deaths of their friends. But see joseph is ALSO an ill in the head idiot whose idea of therapy is electroshock and who calls ptsd “shell shock”. So all he can offer to jotaro is “youll feel better in time” because that was kinda true for him; he managed to move on in time. What joseph fails to realize is what made him feel better was not time, but the support of those remaining in his life (lisa lisa, suziq, erina, smokey). But jotaro listens and tries to give it time but the thing with jotaro is he just gets worse and worse as time wears on because he deliberately cut himself off from anyone who could console him (as well as got continually traumatized throughout his life), so time never helped but actually made things worse. Thus jotaro spitting “you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong, my healing needed more than time”. In terms of timeline, probably happens right after part 5 jotaro stares longingly at the crusaders picture

“When i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things/i see the familiar” Im sorry every new line i start to analyze i begin crying so im just letting you all know incase the coherency takes a dip (as if this was coherent in the first place lmfao) Anyway so this line in relation to Jotaro is about how he projects HARD on the new generation. We see this w his interactions w josuke and koichi, the “fragile things” (there is no way he didnt see koichi as a filler for kakyoin im sorry. Also he just wants josuke safe with his friends like how he wished he was safe with his own friends as a teenager), how he was wary of giorno, “the helpless things” (jotaro is scared he’ll be similar to his dad, just like jotaro is similar enough to dio to share the same stand power…), and his interactions w jolyne, “the broken things” (angry teen in a prison? Come now).

“I was little, i was weak, i was perfect too/now i’m a broken mirror” Throwback to the second line. Once again part 6 jotaro is reflecting but the difference here is that part 3 was when jotaro was last unashamedly happy, but more than that, part 3 jotaro was on his way to healing before everything went to shit. like i mentioned earlier, jotaro only relies on someone else completely once, and that happens in part 3. Jotaro is finally able to trust in someone else’s capabilities, which is what he needed to do before he could allow anyone to help him with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hence, why part 6 jotaro would describe him as “perfect”; because he would’ve been perfect enough if he could just trust in others like that again But as the line suggests, that went wrong. Jotaro is now a “broken mirror,” which alludes to the fact that while he projects onto the kids, the kids (the ones that know him at least) project onto him as well, especially jolyne, because in part 6 she finally figures out her dad’s thought processes, as she is experiencing those patterns of thinking too. Jotaro is a role model for them in the sense of “see him? Do the opposite of what he did” KJ;DNJ;DN;SN

“But i can’t let you see all that i have to lose/all that i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” Same meaning as before mostly but the repetition is important me thinks because it mimics jotaro like frantically trying to remind himself why he must be distant when all he wanted to do was go home to jolyne and be her father

“I can’t let you in --/ i swore never again,/ i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” This means roughly the same thing as the previous line that’s similar to this, but the “i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” is less about jotaro’s selfishness/arrogance and more about how he believes enemies will use his loved ones against him and how goddamn, it would work, it would work so well because jotaro loves so, so damn much It’s a shame distancing himself didn’t work the way he wanted it to and ended up making his loved ones even more vulnerable than they would have been otherwise

“I’m standing guard,/i’m falling apart/and all i want to do is to trust you” (Begins screaming and doesn’t stop) okay so this line is about jotaro and jolyne during the beginning of stone ocean “Im standing guard” alludes to the fact that jotaro is still desperately trying to appear distant and uninterested even as he attempts to break his fucking daughter out of prison “I’m falling apart” ties into jotaro failing miserably at remaining cold towards jolyne, how he eventually caves in and tells her he loves her in addition to taking a literal bullet for her, using time stop to ensure he can make it to her to do so. and also this line ties into how he is literally physically shot and how his memories and stand are taken from him “And all i want to do is to trust you” is directed towards jolyne of course. God his whole “i’ve always cherished you” ties in with this line; like i mentioned earlier, jotaro by part 6 knows his self-imposed isolation is useless, but old habits die hard and also he was in very deep by the time he accepted there was no reason to go in the first place at all. So he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t know how to trust jolyne, it’d been 20ish years since he last trusted someone completely, but god he wants to. He wants to trust her. It’s all he wants to do hence this line

“Show me how to lay my sword down/for long enough to let you through” So continuing from the last line, jotaro just wants to let jolyne in. he wants to learn how to do that. I think this line is actually directed towards his younger self; 17 year old jotaro managed to let in a person once, after all (more than one person in fact, but all the crusaders). This would also make more sense w my interpretation of how part 6 jotaro calls part 3 jotaro “perfect” in this regard Essentially it’s jotaro thumbing through his memories to figure out how his past self gathered the security to trust in someone else wholeheartedly...which makes the fact that pucci steals his memories particularly fucked up in this context

“Here i am, pry me open/what do you want to know?” Another line directed toward jolyne. “Here i am, pry me open” refers to how after jotaro tells jolyne he cherishes her, all cards are on the table. He’s shown vulnerability, might as well go full throttle. So, he’s willing to talk to jolyne for the first time ever, especially because she’s a stand user now “What do you want to know?” ties into jotaro being willing to open up, but also the fact that jolyne doesnt really know her dad ):

“I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough/to hold the door shut/and bury my innocence” Hhnghg begins wailing this line is again about post-egypt jotaro. A lot of jotaro’s like...emotional maturation (and even some physical) occurred during the trip to egypt and immediately afterward. he’s in pain and desperately trying to rationalize a way he can be in control of never letting something like what happened in egypt happen again, hence the “im just a kid who grew up scared enough” “To hold the door shut” refers to how jotaro cut off other people, even the people who used to know him very well, like joseph and polnareff and holly “And bury my innocence” i mentioned this in another line but this bit also refers to how jotaro had to grow up quickly to survive, considering his self-imposed isolation and his life path of chasing down dio’s remnants

“But here’s a map, here’s a shovel/here’s my Achilles’ heel” This line is SUPPOSED to be directed toward jolyne but inadvertently it is also directed toward pucci. When jotaro says fuck it and gives up on his pretense of disinterest in jolyne, finally letting her know he loves her, he’s finally building the frame of a bridge to jolyne; he’s ready to do what he’s wanted to for so long, no matter how vulnerable it makes him, and that is to be jolyne’s father. However, pucci takes note of this; he knows to aim for jolyne in the final battle because of jotaro’s earlier actions when he tries breaking jolyne out of prison. It really is a shame how the narrative keeps fucking enforcing jotaro’s shitty self-imposed isolation

“I’m all in, palms out, i’m at your mercy now and i’m ready to begin/i am strong, i am strong, i am strong enough to let you in” Hmm i imagine this line being when jotaro meets back up with jolyne after he gets his memory disk back. The first thing he does is hug her and cradle her close to him, showing off to the world, right in front of pucci, how much his daughter means to him. But jotaro, at least for the moment, is not scared to be vulnerable anymore. Ever since he decided to give up his cold facade, he was ready to let jolyne in, and he finally has the chance to do that at least a little right before the final battle, which is what this line is about

“I’ll shake the ground with all my might/i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” Final battle in stone ocean,,, What the “i’ll shake the ground will all my might” line refers to is jotaro’s willingness to use star platinum the world during the battle. He’s ready to go all in to save the world, and most importantly, save jolyne, even if he has to use the source of his greatest trauma to do it. Jotaro’s a key player and he knows it, has known it for a long time, and this time he’s going to use that for his happy ending. And well, as i mentioned in the last line, jotaro’s done with the self-isolation and throws himself into the role of jolyne’s father, at least as much as he has the right to throw himself into. This is mostly what the “i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” line refers to

“For the innocent, for the vulnerable/i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” More stone ocean final battle. The “innocent and vulnerable” jotaro is showing up for are jolyne, namely, but also hermes and emporio, and beyond that, the world. Jotaro understands how serious this is and he’s always been a force meant for protection, so he is here to do just that, which is what the “i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” line refers to. Jotaro doesnt believe he’s a good person -- and he might not be, in the grand scheme of things -- but he does fight for what he believes is right, he always has, he mentions this way back in stardust crusaders during his fight with kakyoin. He’s never going to let injustice stand, especially not when he knows he’s such a key player

“And i’ll give all i have, i’ll give my blood, give my sweat --/an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” This line actually applies to all the “final battles” jotaro has been involved in; part 3, part 4, and part 6. Jotaro, as i mentioned in the last line, has a strong sense of justice and is a force that first and foremost tries to protect, which the “i’ll give all i have, i’’l give my blood, give my sweat” part of this line refers to. Jotaro gives his all, has given his all, to rid the world of dio’s influence, he ruined his entire fucking life to do so, and this line gives credence to that. “An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” refers to jotaro mourning all the what-ifs in his life, which are all tied with how the outcomes of these final battles go. If part 3 didnt end the way it did, jotaro would know how to trust still, he wouldve been happy even, maybe he wouldnt have had to sacrifice the rest of his life to dio; if part 4 didn’t end the way it did, maybe jotaro couldve gone home to his daughter, maybe he couldve been a bit of a better dad (this is because kids were involved in part 4 even if they didn’t try to because stand users attract stand users, and jotaro couldnt risk doing that to his daughter, so he ends up never coming home); and now for part 6, jotaro hopes that if it ends just a little better than the previous two, jotaro could at least died a satisfying death of sacrificing himself for jolyne, or maybe even got a chance to try mending his relationship with jolyne if they both survive

“I’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again” So this line speaks to both physical and emotional states Jotaro was physically “shattered porcelain” when he lost his stand and memory and also was shot, and he was “glued back together again” when he got medical attention and jolyne got back his disks Jotaro was emotionally “shattered porcelain” due to the fact he couldnt trust anyone completely since he was 17 goddamn years old but he’s “glued back together again” in the sense he’s ready to finally, finally try and be vulnerable in order to save his relationship with jolyne

“Invincible like i’ve never been” This line hurts so fucking much because i believe jotaro was optimistic, all things considered, at the beginning of the final fight in stone ocean. After all, he knows he’s an important figure in all this, he has his stand disk and memories back, he and jolyne and the others have a plan, and he has a future he wants to fight for in addition to the world’s continued functioning So he feels “invincible” like he’s never felt before because not even during the part 3 final battle with dio did he have the hope for the future he has now. But then. Then pucci brings out the knives. And the man who could control time never had enough in the end. He dies and cant even save jolyne with his death. The world ends. He failed. I think this is perfectly represented with how suddenly the song ends. It just perfectly encapsulates the tragedy that is jotaro kujo and i cant stop fucking thinking about it

thanks for reading all this if you did. jotaro kujo makes me feel mentally ill

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allegra-writes · 4 years

Text

“Once in twenty lifetimes”

Tom Holland x Reader

General audiences

Warnings: Implied character death.

“In a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you”

The chaos of stars - Kiersten White

Just a little one shot inspired by the song “Cardigan” and this lovely past life reading by Adora’s light.

MY MASTERLIST

You cursed as your high heel got stuck on the cobblestone, making your ankle twist painfully. It would be just like you to be late, and injured, on your first day. But no, you still had about half an hour to spare, and the building was literally across the street.

You tried to slow down your pace, and the beating of your heart, it would do you no good to arrive early, shaky and exuding nervousness like the inexperienced rookie you were. A smile broke through your face as you saw the coffee shop. Yeah, an herbal tea would do you worlds of good.

Your bare feet hit the stone tiles of the castle floor, running. People were running in all directions, screaming in terror: the enemy was inside already, the fires raging in the citadel nothing but a mere distraction. You heard the cries of your maiden inside your own bedchamber being beaten for information, you knew what the enemy wanted: You.

“Meri Rani!” That voice. You knew that voice. “Meri Rani, this way!”

A strong, rough hand wrapped around your dainty one, guiding you behind a tapestry, to the hidden pathways and you could have cried in relief.

Your brave knight. Your faithful guardian.

You were safe.

You were always safe in his arms.

The music hit you with a wave of melancholy as soon as you opened the door of the shop. That old Elvis’ song always made you strangely nostalgic. You smiled at the bittersweet feeling, stepping in line to order.

You didn’t want to fall into the “I was born in the wrong era” cliche, you really didn’t. And you knew a lot of people thought you were boring, too old fashioned, sometimes even snobbish because of it. But truth was, modern music just didn’t hit the same. The fast rhymes, oversaturated and monotone beats didn’t move you. You sounded like your grandmother, but they just didn’t make good music anymore. Not that good at least.

“Wise meeeen say” You watched your boyfriend stumble under the streetlights, torn between exasperation and fondness. Drunk. He was drunk. Unbelievable. “Only fooools ruuuuusshh in”

As unbelievable as how nicely those Levi’s hugged his hips, as he twirled around the pole… and somehow managed to slip, face planting on it.

“Ouch!”

“Yeah, you’re a fool alright, Thomas"

You rushed to his side, prying his hands away from his face to check his nose.

"It’s all your fault, doll. I’m a fool for you” He winked, but the effect was somehow dampered by the blood falling freely over his lips. “We should go to that Elvis concert next month"

His warm brown eyes lit up with enthusiasm at his own new idea.

"Hmmm I’m not sure we should” You feigned concern, “I could fall in love with him… he is very handsome”

Your boyfriend snorted,

“No way. You dig me way more than you dig Elvis"

"Not when you’re all bloody and bruised like this…”

“Ow”

“Sorry!” You apologized, trying to be gentler as you finished wiping at his blood with your handkerchief.

His arm snaked around your waist, cold fingers sneaking under your sweater, making you jump slightly.

“Is ok, love” he whispered against your lips, “I’ll let you kiss it better.”

“Hi, hun!” Chloe, the cashier, greeted. “Your usual?”

“Oh, no, I’m jumpy enough today!” You chuckled, perusing the tea menu, “I think I’ll have… some lavender tea today. Good for first day anxiety.”

“Wouldn’t lime flower be better for that?” The blonde teen frowned in confusion.

“Lavender is just as good, plus it won’t make me drowsy”

Chloe rang your order, taking a mental note of your words.

“I’ll try to remember that for the next customer that asks for lime flower. How do you even know so much about herbs?”

You simply shrugged, accepting your change,

“I don’t know, I guess I just have a memory for this kinda thing”

“Mama!"

You raised your head from where you were harvesting berries of bittersweet nightshade, and felt your heart skip a beat. The image of your husband walking to you with your little girl in his arms still managed to take your breath away and fill your whole being with warmth and joy even after three years.

You stood up, wiping your dirty hands on your skirts.

"See, bumblebee? I told you mama was just outside” You heard Tom’s soft words soothing the crying infant. “She doesn’t like it when she wakes up and you’re not there…” He added to you, the corners of his mouth belying his amusement.

“Is that true, sweetie?” You inquired, extending your arms toward the toddler, who practically leaped into them. Your daughter only nodded in response, hiding her face on your chest, fisting her tiny hands on the top of your dress, holding on as if she was afraid you were gonna disappear any minute.

“Aye… I think she misses you almost as much as I do when you’re gone” Tom declared, wrapping his arms around both his girls, trying to squish down the uneasiness that had taken over him ever since he had heard…

“Is that so?”

Both your husband and your daughter nodded, making you chuckle.

“What if mama makes some marzipan cakes tonight? Would that cheer you up? We could go to the village in the afternoon to get some flour”

Your husband’s stomach made a flip, the sound of your daughter’s enthusiastic approval drowned by his own worries and fears.

“Or we could just let your daddy make some of his honey candies. No need to go to the village…"

You finished stirring the honey in your tea, and hurried to put the lid back to the cup, eager to leave. As much as you loved the little cafe, you couldn’t quite stand it in the mornings. You hated the fact that they served american breakfast. The smell of bacon and sausages, actually the smell of any meat being cooked, never failed to make your stomach churn. That was actually the main reason for your vegetarianism, even stronger than your convictions, your compassion and love for animals. Even stronger than your concerns or your wish for a healthier lifestyle, was your dislike. While most people found that smell mouthwatering and delicious, to you, it only ever smelled of burnt flesh.

Your beloved husband’s face was the only one you could make out in the crowd. His pale, tear streaked face, looking almost blue in the twilight. But no, it wasn’t twilight yet, it couldn’t be with the sun still so high in the sky.

… Then why was everything so blue?

The executioner tightened the ropes around you, but you couldn’t feel them. You were numb all over.

"I’m sorry” He murmured, “but I will have to hurry up. Your husband gave me the tea but I think I used too much. If they realize what I did, they will burn me too"

You understood then: wolfsbane. He couldn’t save your life, there was no way he could have, the archbishop had watched you like a hawk all the time they had kept you in the tower. But he wanted to spare you the pain. And not even the man of the church could find it in himself to deny you your last wish: a single cup of tea… that you hadn’t requested.

"Why?” You managed to let out, “Why are you helping me?"

"You helped me once. Or rather, my girlfriend. Well, my wife now”

You tried to remember. Yes, you were sure that was her, the blacksmith’s daughter. She was supposed to be a maiden, back then. If her father found out, he would have beaten her to death, but with a little pennyroyal you had put an end to her predicament.

You could see the regret in his eyes as he let the torch fall into the pyre. You searched your husband’s face through the smoke. His agonized eyes met yours one last time.

No. Not the last. Only the last in that lifetime.

“I love you” You didn’t open your mouth but you knew he had heard you, “forever"

You tried to shake away the morbid thought, as you stepped into the busy street again. It wasn’t all that hard, as you immediately got swept away by it’s fast paced rhythm. There was something about the city, some hidden beauty in it’s chaos, a siren song, a presence. Almost as if somewhere in its darkest alley, there was a heartbeat calling for you. And in a way, you guessed there was, all of them were always crowded, teeming with life. Yet, unlike in any other city, here you weren’t shoved or pushed around. Here, if someone as much as bumped your arm, you would get a quick and embarrassed "sorry”. And you didn’t quite know why you found that so endearing, but you did.

Just another one in the long list of things you loved about London.

You collided with someone, hard, but you couldn’t afford to stop and apologize, so you kept on moving, advancing as fast as you could through the sea of bodies crowding the station. It was almost time, he was stepping into the last train and only god knew if you were ever going to see him again. He had asked you not to come, but you couldn’t, you wouldn’t let him leave without saying goodbye.

You heard him before you saw him. You almost didn’t recognize him from behind, the lush dark curls you loved so much all but gone, the strands shaved around the ears and cut close to the scalp on the back and sides.

“Thomas!”

He turned around just in time for you to jump into his arms, wrapping yours around his neck, hiding your face against his uniformed chest.

“I told you not to come” He breathed against your hair, undone from your race, holding onto you just as hard, “I told you I wouldn’t be able to leave this platform if you did…”

“Then don’t” You countered, “Stay with me. Let’s run away to the countryside, just… just stay"

You felt his choked sob against your cheek.

"If we don’t stop the Germans now, there will be nowhere left to run. And I rather die before letting them anywhere near you”

“Don’t say that” You admonished, breaking your embrace to get a look at his coffee eyes, “Don’t ever say that!"

He shook his head,

"It’s the truth, my love. Of all the beauty in this world, yours is the most breathtaking. Of all the kindness, yours is the most honest.” He took your hands in his, placing soft, reverent kisses on your knuckles “You are everything that’s good and pure in this world. You are everything that’s worth fighting for"

"All aboard!"

The tears were clouding your vision, when Tom’s brave facade fell.

"If anything happens to me at war…”

“Hush! Don’t say-”

“I must, my love” He interrupted you, urgently, “If anything happens to me, my family will take care of you. Listen-”

“No, you listen” You cut him off, “Whatever you were going to say, it won’t be necessary. Because you are going to come back to me, did you hear me?”

His reply died in his throat. He wanted so bad to be able to promise you what you wanted.

“Come back to me, Thomas. Say you’ll come back…"

"Yes, ma'am” He finally vowed, before stealing one last kiss.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!"

His apology reached your ears even before you felt the hot liquid dripping down your chest, before your distracted mind could process what was happening.

"I was walking too fast and I wasn’t looking where I was going and neither were you and when I realized, I couldn’t stop on time- Not, not that I’m blaming you for this, no, of course not! I mean, that looks hot” He gesticulated to your chest, talking with his hands almost as fast as he was rambling with his mind. You watched his eyes go big and his cheeks turn red as he realized exactly where he was pointing at, “The tea! I meant the tea not your… your- not you! I mean, not that you’re not… I should shut up now, right?"

You tried to stifle your amused smile, but you failed, the brunet man in front of you simply too adorable in his awkward babbling for you to be mad. Even if both your favorite vintage tee and brand new phone were ruined now.

"Probably, yeah.” You confirmed, “You need to stop and breathe, otherwise you might pass out from lack of oxygen. And I don't think I can deal with that on top of” You pointed at your soaked self, “this"

Relief washed over him at the realization you weren’t mad. The truth was, the only reason he had crashed into you was that he had been too busy staring at you to realize you were coming right his way.

"Yeah, that would be just too rude” He let himself smile a little too, “crashing with you, making you spill your tea and passing out on you? So crossing the line…"

You snorted inelegantly at that.

And he thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his life.

"Let me replace your t-shirt” He offered, hoping to buy himself a few more minutes with you, “and your tea, of course"

You were about to refuse, when your eyes found his, the entire world shifting, tilting on its axis, as your irises met his warm coffee ones.

You knew those eyes.

"I- ok” You cleared your throat, as if that would be able to conceal your shameless staring. “I have…” You checked your watch, “about 20 minutes before work”

“Right. Better make them count then” His boyish smile turned bigger, brighter, “I’m Tom, by the way. And I promise I’m usually smoother than this”

You took the hand he was offering, and it felt like deja vu.

“Y/n. And I hate smooth."

He laughed,

"Great, cause that was a lie…"

You walked back inside the coffee shop together, never noticing it was the hand of fate, the one opening the doors for you, all over again.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfic #peter parker x reader #arvin russel x reader

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himbo-buckley · 4 years

Text

Sex, Intimacy and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 4

Ciao, ragazzi,

i bims, die Kriz and I will be your tourguide today. (Yes, we’re on first name basis now, congratulations, kid, ya’ll earned it!)

Okay, so I rewrote this intro like 5 times by now. 3B has been so hard on me in a way that the rest hasn’t been. While I was writing 3A I had so many thoughts and ideas and conclusions from the get go, my main worry was to fit it all in and to make it coherent. And it took me a while to get there with 3B - but don’t worry, my friends, I did not disappoint and it is just as long as part 3, despite Tim Minear personally coming to my home and vibe checking me for saying he had daddy issues. Which is fair, tbh. Sorry bro, I’ll stop calling you out like that. (No, I won’t.)

Also if you need a „quick“ refresher of what happened so far or you just forgot, here are:

part one - part two - part three

And also, the usual spiel:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FIVE parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season, and have it organised by episode so you could technically follow along (which is still true), but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 had exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in three parts - there is part 3 which ends with the Christmas Episode, part 4 which spans what aired of 3B so far and the final part 5 which will include the final and my conclusion, if by then I am able to form thoughts again / still

Alright you guys, drumrolls please: part 4 (also called „*butterfly meme* Is this growth?“)

Episode 3.11:

I wanna be honest with ya’ll, Season 3B is sort of a mixed bag for me, because while yes, all the episodes have been great viewed separately, they just feel so … separate from each other, and with 3A having so many episode-spanning arks, it’s a bit of a letdown to return to the standalone episode format. Especially because it makes the whole two steps forward one step back thing so much more apparent as it feels like what happens in one episode has no consequence for the next. It felt a little like they burned through too much in 3A already and didn’t know where to go from there. Which is also true for me, so maybe I should stop judging.

Anyways, I’ll stop bringing the house down now.

Let’s continue with: Don’t you just love stan-ing two adorable, complicated badass firefighters? Yeah, me too.

Also, I wanna see the Doc again. Tim, can we? He could be friends with Frank? We could see them have tea and talk about those dumbasses at the firehouse? (And also legs, since, you know, Frank only has one?)

And also the bank guy, Harrison was fun. (This whole episode was.)

And I know it has nothing to do with Eddie or Buck or Intimacy or Sex (okay a little with those) but I do wanna point you to that damn meatball scene, because it’s so chaotic? First, why are all the ingredients laid out on the table but Maddie is making balls already only to then cover them in water? Look, I’m basically vegan (haha, how long do you think I’ve waited to shoehorn this in here) and haven’t cooked meat since I was … fourteen, probably? And even to me that just seemed wrong! Not to mention AFTER touching raw meat, Maddie only cleans her hands with a towel before opening the door? You used to be a nurse, Madeleine / Maddison! (Do we know her full name? I feel like we don’t.)

One thing I really love about 3B (so far) is how happy and settled my main man Edmundo Diaz is. It’s in the eyes, you guys! I don’t know if it’s a Ryan thing or a deliberate acting choice but whatever it is it translates well (haha, well, yeah, we’ll talk about that one later) into his character and it really makes you feel like Eddie is so much better. Like for all the analysis of Eddie I’ve been doing, I didn’t notice how much colder he grew since the beginning of Season 2 until this episode came and suckerpunched me with the warmth in his eyes. Good god, proceed with caution! Oliver could call me right now and say „Look, Buddie isn’t real, I just keep getting lost in Ryan’s eyes.“ and I wouldn’t even be mad, I’d just be like „How’d you get this number?“. (It was Tim, wasn’t it? Damn it, we talked about this, mate! I wanna meet his cat, not him!)

The episode doesn’t hold a lot of relevance in terms of this meta (aside from some parallels I’ll talk about in a moment) but I still want to discuss it a little bit because it means a lot to me. I just love Howard „Chimney“ Han with all my heart.

I wanna say something controversial now because we’re 500 words in and I feel like I haven’t made you regret reading my rambling yet, so here is controversial thought of the day #1: All these fucking characters are grey as fuck except Howie. Howie is good to the bone. He is the goodest boy. He is so gentle and sweet and non malicious and yes, I am including Evan in my list of grey characters because he pulled some SHIT! Okay, a little bit of shit. Things have been *implied*! (I don’t even know anymore. Maybe he’s just off-white or something.)

And what’s the worst my best friend Howard „Chimney“ Han has done on this show? Lied to his girlfriend a buncha times so she likes him better? I lie all the time. I just lied to my mother 5 minutes ago (Yes, Mom, I’m working on my thesis.)! And Howie just lied to make someone like him better. That’s not bad, that’s horrible self esteem!

Which brings me to another thing I wanna say because thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt. If anyone from the cast gets to call me, it’s you, because you clearly had your thinking pants on when you took one look at Chimney and said: I want that one! You a real one and I will name check you on my way to heaven - not, that they’ll let me in, but the thought counts?

Now, lets talk about those parallels I mentioned before:

The Hans vs. the Buckleys.

Now, we still don’t know a lot about Mr. and Mrs. Buckley and what exactly made them bad parents (though I’m firmly team a little neglectful but not abusive) but we know a lot about Mr. Han.

One thing of the bat I wanna mention is that this episode confirms that Maddie at least had a hand in raising Buck - which doesn’t actually have to mean too much, because based on JLHs age, her relationship with Dough and the way their sibling relationship is played it’s safe to assume that Maddie is supposed to be between 5-10 years older than Buck (assuming she started nursing school after High School at around 18 / 19, which I think takes 4 years in the US? And she was an ER nurse for 8 years, making her AT LEAST 30 in Season 2, but considering how she emphasised that Buck noticed something was wrong with Dough even as a teenager and she met Dough at 19, I’m gonna assume Buck was younger then 16 because Dough won’t have shown his abusive tendencies right of the bat, so probably about 12 / 13, making Maddie like 6 years older than him? And since we DO have a definite age for Evan, Maddie is probably around 33 in Season 2 (which also works because they wanted to put her and Eddie in a relationship and Ryan Guzman is in his early 30 as well). And look, as the youngest child of two people I would call more than adequate parents I can tell you: older siblings always have a hand in raising you, especially when the age difference exceeds 4 years. One of my sisters is 5 years older than me and I was more scared of telling her about having a bad grade than I was of my parents, so…

Anyways, back to what is actually happening in the episode and how it both parallels and contrasts the Buckleys and Hans.

Like Maddie and Howie are the older siblings and Buck and Albert are the younger siblings, yet Buck and Howie are paralleled as are Maddie and Albert. Also, Howie resents his brother for the relationship he assumes Albert has with their father, but Maddie recognises that Buck probably had similar experiences growing up as she did. Of course one could argue that Howie and Albert never had a relationship before while Buck and Maddie grew up together, but look, Maddie was in an abusive relationship for quite a while and hadn’t been in contact with her brother for 3 years prior to Season 2 but it’s safe to assume they didn’t have too close of a relationship before that either, or the Buck we know would have gone to Maddie to investigate and find out why she dipped. So…

(Despite all of this, Maddie knew she could come to her brother for help in Season 2 meaning one, our boy is such a good boy always and the Buckleys can’t be all bad if Maddie knows she can count on her brother, meaning she didn’t think her parents screwed him up too much in the time since she moved out and gradually left his life. Just another thought.)

I also love how her firm believe in the strength and meaning of familial relationships triggers a shift in Howie. Please keep this in mind for when we discuss 3.16 in a few minutes, friends.

Also that kitchen scene has all my heart. They really said kitchens are a Buddie thing now, didn’t they? (Also from a non shipper perspective, Maddie and Buck are just the sweetest and for a TV show actually fairly realistic siblings. At least if I compare them to my siblings and I.)

Also in terms of the actually topic of my meta’s: this is our first indicator that Eddie considers the 118 his family. And we have another moment of Chimney seeking reassurance / being open with Eddie. I love that they have a friendship like that. (He was so excited about meeting Chimneys brother as well. A little bit puppy and like another reason why Evan and him are friends. (As if we need more)) Also love that Eddie is secure enough to voice these feelings!

(Eddie really does seem so healed in this episode? So open? And happy? Damn, Frank, you know your shit! My man had some growth.)

Now, for some sidenotes to round off this episode, because I have some and I wanna share them:

On the Buckley parents, I think the episode wants to imply that they had plans for Buck? Maybe career wise? Because in the pool scene he says something along the lines of: „Sometimes you have to put / get a little distance“ and since it’s been implied that Buck is also from Pennsylvania or somewhere close by, we can assume that he was talking about himself here. Like he moved all the way across the continent.

I’m also just gonna throw out a prediction for Season 4: since Nia is only a foster child and like 2 years old, it’s safe to assume that she has been only recently taken in. While I do not know the US-Foster system, I do have some knowledge about the German system, so I’ll just predict that either one or both of the birth parents try to get their child back.

Or they just sort of forget about all of this by Season 4.

And I really really really dislike the cancer storyline and how the show is handling it, at least in this episode, specifically in regards to May, who in my opinion, has been both written and treated by the show as someone younger than 18 here, only for the show to then turn around and go all: wow, such an adult, look how wise she is. So awesome. Like nah, son! 3A has shown that she is much maturer than she was treated in this episode.

And Eddie finally got to say „seen this before“ again. I feel like he says that a lot. Should I start a counter for that too or do ya’ll just wanna think about him naked for a bit? (I know, you guys, I know! Should I befriend someone who can make me a bunch of gifs of shirtless Eddie I can pepper in every time we get to heavy around here?)

Episode 3.12:

Ah, yes, „Fools“! The one episode I have to say I can not look at without wearing my shipper goggles. So be warned.

Which is why I’m gonna start with the elephant in the room: Ana Flores.

Now, I’ve seen (and maybe liked / reblogged / queued / drafted (Idk anymore, I’m up to 600 posts in my drafts, 300 in my queue and like 300 liked / reblogged already)) an interview with Ryan Guzman where he talks about Ana and how he isn’t sure yet wether they are heading for romance and how it needs someone incredibly badass to get through Eddie’s defences, because Eddie is barely over his wife’s death and yeah, that! Look, if you’re here, I’m gonna assume you have read the other three parts of this „meta“ and therefore know that I am a proud member of the Shannon Diaz - defense squad and will fight anyone who says a bad word about her. And you will also know that I attribute most of the stupid things Eddie did in 3A to the fact that Shannon died. So there. All caught up.

Now, as for Ana Flores herself (and I’m writing this after 3.16, so who knows what happens next): She might be in Season 4 (I think the interview said something about it or she tweeted something) but I don’t think it has been confirmed yet? So considering what Ryan said they probably won’t end up in a relationship by the end of Season 3 (again, please remember when I am writing this).

I’m not gonna comment on the actress aside from saying, damn, I wish that were me! Other than that? I don’t really care about actors unless I think they are hot and then it’s more of a: uiiii, me like-y. (Madeleine Patch, call me!)

As for the actual scenes, well, I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand side, as I’ve said before, I work with children and the idea of dating the father of one of my babies is just plain wrong to me. So there is that. Morally speaking that storyline would be trash. (And very OOC for Mr. „My son needs to be protected above all“)

Then of course there is what’s actually happening between them which, one, from the get go she seems to not reciprocate Eddie’s advances (he keeps telling her to call him Eddie, she keeps calling him Mr. Diaz). Also that whole speech about horses? Yeah, I know you’re an english teacher but ähm, what? (Put it on the list, Tim, I need answers!)

To sum it up (and explain why I brought up Shannon aside from how much I like her), I don’t think it’s headed for a romance quite yet? They may be playing the slowburn game, but I think it was more like Ali in Season 2. Because as @greyhello pointed out to me in Part 2, Ali might have been there to show us that Buck was ready for a commited relationship and it had never been Abby that made him like that, just as Ana is here to tell us: hey, Eddie is finally accepting his wife’s death and maybe, possibly, some time in the near future, ready to date again. Probably. We’ll see.

Aside from that, I actually think a little crush could be something healthy and healing for Mr. control issues. But, again, we’ll see.

So, elephant addressed. Now let’s move on.

Sidenote: I feel like the parent-teacher conference made Eddie really regret so many of his life decisions. Someone needs to tell Buck so he can make a million puns from here on out and drive Eddie crazy.

(Sidenote: Carla said „big blue eyes“! You know who has big blue eyes? Ah, now I’m just clowning.)

Now this episode returns to the Season 2 formula of giving Eddie and Buck similar storylines:

Because while Eddie meets someone he could potentially be interested it, Buck is also made aware of his single status and the fact that he hasn’t dated in a while.

I do think Buck’s stance in this episode was both curious and familiar. Familiar because it reminded me a lot of Eddie in 2.04 and I think, just like Eddie did before Shannon came back, right then Buck is closing himself off from making connections, be they physical or emotional, because he got hurt too much.

Which is why I call it curious. Because I can not decide wether I consider his behaviour growth or a step back. In Eddie it would definitely be a step back, but in Buck who had been so willing to take any chance for physical intimacy just for the sake of a connection in Season 1 to now at least seem somewhat settled in himself and comfortable with what he has does feel a little like growth? (Then again 3.16 shows us he is just scared of getting hurt again, so probably just covering up is depression.)

Also, again with the kitchen! That puts us at five (?) scenes of Buddie talking about each other or with each other in a kitchen setting (six, if you count 3.03). Now I’m probably clowning myself real hard right now, but whatever!

But I do wanna point out how comfortable Eddie and Buck are discussing Eddie’s parenting struggles, which just shows how much he trusts him.

Now I know, I myself have made a textpost about Eddie discussing his parenting struggles with literally anyone, but ya’ll know I was kidding, right? It isn’t actually true. In canon he talks with exactly 5 people about Christopher:

They are Christopher’s therapist in „Triggers“, Carla, Hen, Lena … and Buck.

Now, here comes something interesting: For Carla and therapist, it is literally their job to help Eddie with his parenting struggles, but all the other scenes? Connected to Buck. Yeah. That.

Look, the Hen scene in the Christmas episode literally involves Buck and as I’ve said both Eddie’s and Buck’s reaction here heavily implied that Eddie has had a conversation with Buck about his fight with Chris before telling Hen all about it.

As for Lena, again, she is *literally* there as a substitute for Buck. She uses his locker. Her name is taped over his - and that is actually such a nice visual, that I wanna talk about it real quick, because I’ve seen it called disrespectful a few times and I don’t agree.

One, the fact that they left the „B“: funny af, someone from set dressing is probably laughing themselves silly about this and is allowed to call me now; also a constant reminder who’s locker and place she is actually occupying. Also how she can never really fully replace him, she can’t cover the hole he left fully, he is always there, lurking.

Two, the fact that it is tape: tape is slightly see through. It is temporary and easily removed. Tape is just a quick, momentary fix. Tape can be taken off / away without effort.

So to sum it up: There’s no one he trusts more with his son.

Which is also why Buck is there at the end: because Buck is who Eddie trusts. Buck is who Eddie goes to when he’s struggling as a father. Buck is who Eddie wants by his side cheering Chris on. I mean, they are literally pushing him together while Carla films (stands on the sidelines, ready to help as needed, but not fully a part of their family unit).

So, to go back to the elephant in the room? Right now I’m not at all worried about Ana Flores.

On another note it’s also one of the last real Buddie scenes we got in 3B so far and while I do understand that there just wasn’t any storyline for them to do such a scene organically, I am very worried about what it could mean. Because I still remember when Teen Wolf stopped putting Tyler H and Dylan in scenes together because people kept screaming queerbaiting.

I don’t want that to happen here. I love Buddie and what it could represent but I’ve also written too much about their respective characters AND their connection by now to disregard how meaningful they ALREADY are and how important even as a platonic pairing they are. Because they make each other so much better and proof that straight man can have deep connection with each other and how two flawed people can help each other heal in a way that I don’t think any other relationship in this show shows.

Back to the episode, though. The ark between Christopher and Eddie here is truly beautiful and I love the way we see Eddie growing as a parent. And I think the show wrote those scenes so well and they felt truly natural and were incredibly important, both for Eddie and Christopher.

I do think, as much as I love Christopher always being Eddie’s number one priority, no matter who Eddie ends up dating (yes, even if he dates Buck) we need to see a bit of a shift here. (Also, just in general, because Christopher will grow up, even if he’ll never be as independent as a fully abled bodied child might someday be.)

Eddie needs to learn to let go of control and of Christopher a bit. Look, a partner will never come before Christopher for Eddie (unless Chris is like in his 40s and has moved out and is living his own life. And even then it’ll be close.) but in order for anyone to ever fit into his life he needs to make a little space at the top and that includes taking away a bit from Christopher.

(Also just selfcare reasons, you guys, parents need to learn that it’s okay to sometimes think about themselves! And we already saw Eddie break once cause it became too much, how easy do you think that can happen again?)

Sidenote: We all know Buck built that, right? He’s been shown again and again to have some mechanical / maschinary (?) understanding plus fairly interesting problem solving skills.

Episode 3.13:

I love the locker room scene. Firstly, it’s a definite reminder that these three have bonded a lot and it’s such a sweet familial scene.

Also Eddie’s advice: yet another hint that he’s healing from Shannon’s death.

Compare it 3.08 and the conversation Bobby had with Eddie. There are no definite callbacks or anything like it, but it is very very very obvious that Eddie is talking about his dead wife here. Who he told he loves her in her last moments. So there.

Now, as for the healing part, could you imagine 3A!Eddie saying something like that to anyone?

Even in 3.03 or 3.06 with Buck, the person he lets himself be the most vulnerable with, there are still always terms and conditions with his words.

He trust no one more with his son, which, okay, is what the scene was about and what has the highest priority in his life but still, his trust isn’t bound to himself, it’s bound to his son, not to himself, not something he has in general for Buck, but something he has for Buck in regards to his son - that Eddie trusts Buck with himself is only ever implied.

He forgives him - „also what it means to be a part of a team“. Eddie sort of impersonalises his forgiveness here, he doesn’t forgive him because he’s Buck and he’s Eddie, he forgives him because they are part of the same team.

With Eddie there is always a wall.

But here in the locker room there isn’t. It’s just: if you love her, tell her, cause you might not get another chance - Eddie certainly doesn’t have another chance to tell Shannon.

And okay, you might say, isn’t that kind of a condition as well? Saying ‚I love you‘ because tomorrow isn’t promised? And sure, it kind of is. But Eddie’s also basically saying: once upon a time I told my wife, who art now in heaven, that I loved her as she was dying and then I got real mad at her and the world after because she left me and she was planning to leave me anyways and now I’m here and I’m over that and I’m just glad I got to tell her ‚I love her‘ one last time. I’m no longer angry.

Growth, you guys.

Episode 3.14:

I feel like the writers read some of ya’ll’s Buddie fanfiction, realised how it mischaracterised the relationship between Buck and Chimney gets and said: not on my watch!

In other words: If Eddie and Buck are different sides of the same coin, Buck and Chimney are the same sides of different coins. They share so many traits and experiences!

Now, this episode. Man, you guys, it really has me stumped. Part of me thinks it doesn’t have relevance and part of me keeps going back because it thinks it does?

Oh man, you guys, I’m lost. I don’t know.

All right, executive decision: no relevance, just another drop on the breakdown-stone that is 3.16.

Someone please tell my man’s boy they need him!

Episode 3.15:

Fun fact to start ya’ll off: this was only the second episode I watched somewhat live being a little new to town and the first I saw without spoiling myself on tumblr. So it has a special place in my heart any way you look at it.

(But then again this episode also involves several of my nightmares: drowning! being below earth! Being in small enclosed spaces! Being buried alive! Huge amounts of mud that will not leave your clothes and fingernails for the next six hundred years!)

Also, uhm, did I say „Fools“ was the *one* episode I could not look at without shipper goggles? So I’m contradicting myself. It happens. Move on. (Yeah, or repress it and join a fight club! Also name check me with your therapist, please! We may have breakdowns but we do them healthy around here!)

Because these fuckers went off! Whew! I’m serious, after watching the episode I sent a clip of that scene to my roommate and asked to rate how platonic this was. Which she did not. Because she doesn’t know math, apparently. - My point is, she sees it and she doesn’t know the show.

In other news this episode convinced me Oliver is pulling an Andrew Robinson (and yes, I know he said it was in the script but then Andy also followed the script, so…).

Sidenote: Eddie is the oldest, right? Damn, for some reason I thought he was the middle child. He has big middle child energy.

(Also why they namedrop Galveston like that? I googled it an it’s just a town? Why, Tim, why?) (At this point he is just torturing me, I know it. This feels personal.)

Anyways, this episode, you guys! I have thoughts! (And they are very hard to put in order so please excuse any jumping around at this point.)

The birthscene is great and can we just for a moment think about 25 year old Eddie hugging his mother in law so very lovingly? He’s so happy here. So soft. (Also I’m about to turn 25? I would not be able to deal with being married right now either?)

And yes, this episode confirms that Eddie has killed people, and while I know it was selfdefense, I just, it’s very weird to me because these characters have become so real to me, so to see one of them kill without a care is kinda off-putting. (This is why I will always consider Eddie grey and why I can never consider Buck white - because he had been planning on joining the Seals meaning he had to consider the possibility of killing and has probably learned to kill (Do you think that’s why he’s so non aggressive? because he knows he could take everyone down?))

I’m just gonna come out and say it: anyone who says Eddie isn’t impulsive has not watched this show. In fact I’d even say he is more impulsive than Buck.

Yes, Buck will do weird and dumb shit on a whim because the thought just crossed his mind and it sounds good and he doesn’t think about the consequences, but just does it. (I could make a case that our boy has ADHD but this is not what this meta is about)

But Eddie? Eddie is impulsive in his reactions. Everytime he is in distress (emotional not physical) he stops thinking about consequences and just starts reacting. Especially if it’s about a child!

Shannon is pregnant - lets sign up for the army.

Our child has a developmental disorder - lets stay in the army.

My parents want to take away my child - lets move halfway across the country.

(Not allowed to talk to your best friend? - lets go streetfighting.)

Eddie probably thinks these things through to a point and he mostly has a plan, but he is so reactionary. He is like a raw nerve and that’s what makes him impulsive.

It’s why, instead of letting them pull him out enough until he can radio, Eddie cuts the fucking line. Because this is a child, this could be Christopher and Eddie needs to be enough to save him.

(Are you crying yet?)

I’m not gonna talk about Afghanistan except to say: ah, Eddie. My man, you are enough! Always!

(But maybe that was his guilt over killing talking? Maybe he does feel bad?)

Also why did the woman emphasis ‚Staff Sergeant‘ like that? Was that an indicator that Eddie got promoted?

Also Eddie the fucking boy scout / alter boy / goody goody two shoes trying to get up because of a superior office despite lying in a hospital bed (and not even having been cleaned from his blood yet, urgh that’s gotta itch!)

Sidenote: in light of 3.16: do you think Eddie still talks to Mills, Binder, Norwahl and what all their names are or do you think that would be too hard for him? I’m leaning toward not talking but I really liked Mills (she reminded me of Buck and Lena, tbh.)

And now, for our regular scheduled program: Shannon and Eddie.

First of all I loved all of it. I loved that we could really understand why Shannon left. I love how much they clashed but still had those little moments of recognition.

And look: The juice box scene was very rough. Eddie is likely currently suffering from PTSD, definitely having a culture shock and here is his wife who is barely holding on as well and she just wants to leave, she can’t deal anymore and both of them are so desperate and wow, just wow. Kudos Ryan and kudos Devin Kelley, I’m sad we won’t see you again, but I do hope I’ll see you somewhere else one of these days!

I’ve talked about their relationship a lot already, so I’m not sure if I have any fresh takes but I will remind you of a few you already know:

Eddie is not in love with Shannon after Afghanistan (haven’t decided yet if he was in love with her in the birth scene)

Shannon *needed* Eddie to open up to her just as much as she needed to be open with her

Eddie was not able to be emotionally intimate with his wife

they cared about each other very very much and I do think they tried

they are family (remember what I said in part 2 about Eddie talking to the 118 about Shannon? This here proof that he definitely defended her actions at some point to them as well)

Shannon was in an impossible situation with her mother and a special needs child and likely burned out and just … she needed someone to have her back, which Eddie couldn’t because he himself was suffering from PTSD at that point

I’m still mad as fuck, they killed her off! If they give Eddie any other endgame romance that isn’t Buddie without like two seasons buildup after killing off HIS WIFE I will riot!

Which brings me to Eddie and his parents which was rough, you guys!

Look, as someone who worked with children I can see where his parents are coming from in that scene but also wow, just wow.

How cold and insensitive and fuck, no wonder someone is repressed as shit, that was horrifying and I really can’t talk about this more than to say this hurts and also explains too much about Eddie. (Can we have the locker room three bonding about having horrible parents in Season 4, please, Tim? And can Buck come too? We could do it at the loft?)

As for his conversation with Christopher, obviously it was cute as fuck and also I love how he began the conversation talking to his child like every adult male I have ever met talking to a kid about something he knows will go over it’s head („It’s like we’re talking about completely different people.“). (Okay, maybe not just adult males. Maybe we all talk like that around children sometimes. I know I do.)

I really liked how they reinforced once again that Eddie wasn’t a natural at being a dad (compare how he holds his son to season 1 Buck who most definitely knows how to handle a child (And now I’m wondering if him being good at it was always planned or a „Oliver did a great job the first time we had him interact with a child so we decided to make it a trait“-thing. Damn you, Tim, for making me think so much!)) but became good at it because he was willing to learn and he cared! Dads of the world (also Moms, we aren’t all super duper either) take note!

That being said the conversation also left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth because, one, it felt a little petulant of Eddie to turn around and leave for LA, the way it was presented here and two, Christopher at that point didn’t understand yet what Eddie was actually asking him about and it felt a bit like manipulation. Please everyone, do not consider a conversation like that consent from a child. Any adult can get a child that age to say anything they want because children just want to be liked (It’s why when children are involved in criminal proceedings it’s so hard to interview them because children follow every suggestion because they think this is what the adults want them to say.).

Now, let’s talk about puppy!boy for a second!

In 1.05 Buck tells Abby: „no one is good when it’s personal“ - well guess what buddy boys, this one is very personal for one Evan ‚Buck’ Buckley, thank you very much, that boy is losing it.

Okay, let’s compare it to the episode before and then two episodes later:

Now, obviously the situation with Maddie was a little different. Mainly because this was a hostage situation and he realised (because Seal training, remember?) that there wasn’t a lot he could do to help her right then but then again … neither was there in Season 2 when Maddie was in danger and he still acted far more frantic in the car with Athena than he did here? Like the only stupid thing he did was drive a little dangerously this time?

And of course, two episodes later we see Bobby react when Athena is in danger and while we don’t see him be frantic we do see him get ready to kill someone, so, yeah!  It could of course be inconsistent writing or deliberate to keep the attention and worry more on the people in the call centre but since they haven’t pulled anything like that before I’m leaning more into my clowning.

I mean, we also have to consider that Buck was Eddie’s lifeline here, he was supposed to be the one to get him out, so he feels extra responsible but then again we have Hen make this comment about having two cut lines, which of course says that Hen thinks that one: whatever reason Eddie had to cut his line will definitely be considered a just as valid reason by Buck to cut his line but also: BUCK WOULD DECIDE TO DIE DOWN THERE WITH EDDIE. Sorry for the yelling, but no, I do not think Buck acted out of character in 3.14.

(Which is very irresponsible, you guys. You are fathers! What happens to Christopher when ya’ll die in a well somewhere in fictional California? I can not live in fictional California! I will not be taking care of your child, Buddie! Figure it out yourself! No. We are done here! This conversation is over!)

(Okay, not quite, because I actually don’t think that would be realistic! More realistic: Buck giving Eddie his harness so he can get pulled out first and then dying down there alone.)

Like I’ve said in the at the beginning: Oliver might be pulling an Andrew Robinson. It might have just been the way they thought Buck would act if he lost Eddie while being responsible. It might have been fever making him delirious (which, btw, kudos! Because you can hear how sore his throat was and omg, that shirt hurt!)

Never mind I found the heavy focus on Buck in an episode about Eddie fairly curious - which is why now it’s video-talk time!

First: I will not bear Shannon slander around here! Yes, she was in way less scenes than Buck, but the actress also was never a main character, so ya’ll need to remember there are like 2 scenes of them as a family. And they probably didn’t have the time, money and energy to film some just for a montage - especially considering that the three of them have hardly been a family together, because first Eddie was gone and then Shannon, so…

But yes, we do have to admit that Buck was in most scenes, and yes, we do have to consider the implications of this which are: Buck is definitely a vital member of the Diaz family and when Eddie says: I’m always gonna come home to my family, this now includes Buck and I hope we see him tell him that at one point in the final cause I need him to!

And then of course there is also the radio scene in the beginning (which lead to one of my proudest tumblr-moments to date in form of this post!) which did ease us into the concept of Bucky-boy being a member of the Diaz family! So it is canon now?!

One thing I wanna point out about the school scene in the end in regards to this is that little boy’s question. Sure they used it as transition to calling Christopher his good luck charm but, uhm, why did they have Buck ask about it in the beginning then? Why have this sort of unnecessary callback to the beginning of the episode unless they want us to remember Buck?

Something to ponder for the next week, I think.

Also the episode sort of reinforced my believe that we don’t really have to worry about Ana Flores. Sure, this scene was also a chance for Eddie to redeem himself in front of a teacher he screamed at just a few weeks prior but the only interaction they had was her asking that question at the end and Eddie hardly looked at her.

(Also, if they really wanted to reinforce Eddie being interested in her, they could have had Carla make a dig about it in the beginning, even with Christopher there, but they didn’t, which to me confirms that they don’t really know what to do with her yet.)

At least Ryan was finally taking his shirt off again, I know that’s like catnip for ya’ll.

Episode 3.16:

One thing that really confuses me is how many people seem to think this episode points out only how important romantic relationship are and I don’t see that?

I mean, I see that it’s one of the points that is being made but I don’t think it’s the only possible reading of this episode.

To me it was about connection and family more than anything.

It begins actually with Eddie (the person most connected to Buck) being the first person to decline Buck’s invite, not in favour of spending time with a romantic partner, but because he has a prior commitment with his son! (And several other people, including, but not limited to, at least 2 other nine year olds. For Eddies sake I hope less than 5 or that Carla is around because he is a single father and children unionise by nature.)

And it continues with Buck by forming a connection to Red and then bonding with Maddie.

And can I just say, before we delve more into all of this, how proud I am of Evan „Buck“ Buckley after this episode? Just look at him!

This is Buck at his lowest, lower even than during the lawsuit, because back then he had something to fight against, which he doesn’t have here. Because he can’t stop other people from leaving him (that is the whole point of the episode after all) and what does he do? Instead of going full on Buck 1.0 and just finding the nearest interested person to form a meaningless physical connection with to substitute for the lacking emotional intimacy he craves so much, he goes to a bar alone and befriends an old man. And spends the rest of the episode bonding with him. And bonding with his sister. And addressing his issues, both with his sister and his family. That is huge!

(Which is why I’ve decided him not wanting to date? Symptom of his deeper issues, yes, but also a sign of growth.)

And I’ve seen some people on my dash talk about how, compared to most other 911 episodes, this episode has a fairly bleak ending, which one I agree with, two think is actually a theme with Buck centric episodes, but three don’t actually mind / think is a bad thing? It’s fairly realistic after all.

To get personal one second: I remember being a very idealistic 20-year old intern working in the foster system five years ago and my mentor, who was less than 10 years older than me but fairly badass teaching me something that technically is a well known proverb but that I, a idealistic 20-year old, had not actually understood until I worked there and saw it myself: manchmal muss man den Karren an die Wand fahren - translation: sometimes you have to let the trolley drive into the wall, which means sometimes you have to let things play out till it’s natural end before you can help. Or to use an english proverb: Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom.

And this is what I’m thinking - no, hoping - is happening here. Because, look, you don’t just solve like 20 or more years of abandonment issues in one episode and considering what a big part of Buck’s character from the moment we met him they have been, that would have been unsatisfying to watch anyways! What we need right now, in terms of Buck’s storyline is catharsis. A cleansing. Buck needs to get to his worst (which I think he did or he will, once he talks to Abby) before he can begin to get better, can begin to heal, can begin to learn that he is not alone. And that is not a bad thing!

And yes, I know our boy is suffering and we along with him because we all love Evan Buckley to death but sometimes you gotta let things break so you can fix them instead of just putting tapes over the holes you see (haha, see what I did there?).

As for the episode, here we go:

I wanna start with something else real quick which is Hen’s subplot which I found important. Because they addressed that hey, she went through a trauma not to long ago as well and maybe she is not as okay with it as we thought?

Also it shows Bobby’s double standard again, but then I think he would have reacted differently if the guy had died and it was evident Hen realised she should never pull a stunt like that again. And maybe I’m giving Bobby a bit to much credit right now. Urgh.

I do wanna say, while Chimney seemed fine at the end with what went down we did see his reaction in the next episode and honestly he is mad, it’s just that Hen is his best friend and Chimney lives on the principle of forgive and forget so there.

Now I do really like the rope rescue scene because it was badass and also because Eddie seems so done in the beginning and Bobby just looks at him like: well, he’s not doing it alone and he’s probably not gonna cut his rope!

(Also notice how Eddie cut his rope willingly but Buck’s was cut for him? What does that mean? - For reals, I may see the connection but I can’t yet make out the meaning.)

But I did appreciate Hen’s comments about them being their best guys a lot! I kind of want an episode like they used to do on Star Trek were they focus on background characters and give us the way everyone probably sees Buddie as some kind of superhuman supermen who pull the craziest stunts and somehow make it! And now, let’s get into Evan!

First of, I now Cindy was meant as a parallel to Abby but I also think to Ali because Abby didn’t leave because she couldn’t handle the fear but Ali did. So there, a sort of Ali Martin mention! Thanks for listening, Tim.

But of course with everything else Cindy is quite the parallel to Abby from the way she just left and Red never really got closure, just like Buck.

What is interesting though is that Red, different to Buck, doesn’t want closure. He wants to remember the good times and imagine what could have been. (This could of course be due to the fact that his life is about to end.)

Buck on the other hand side really craves closure, and look, I know when we first learned she is definitely coming back I was really unhappy about that, but since then we learned they run into each other which makes it fine to me. Because I thought we’d have another instance of Buck running after Abby for validation and I did not want that. But he’s not actually running after her, it’s just a coincidence so I’m happy for him getting a chance to have closure, finally.

And this is were I think the episode proofs that it’s not about romantic love as the only way to be fulfilled, first because after talking about Abby Buck asks „Do you think I’m lonely?“ which is not about romance at all (had they wanted to make it about love it would have been: „Do you think I’ll find love again?“ or something). Also the conclusion of this episode is Maddie telling Buck he is different to Red because he has her (and in general those scenes between them, yes, they were also about Abby because she was another person Buck has been left by but just like they mention a best friend in terms of people Maddie left behind it is not about the romantic aspect, it is about people he loves in general), because he has a sister and she won’t leave him again - so there, familial love! The pinky swear! The importance of family. (see 3.11)

Also had it really been about love you know what would have happened since then? We’d have seen Buck calling Abby! Maddie would have said something about Buck still being young and having time to meet someone! Instead Abby and Buck run into each other by accident and Maddie makes a pinky swear to never leave again, so yeah, I just think sometimes we need to wait for how stuff plays out before we judge.

Now of course I wanna mention the pool scene as well.

Firstly, I know we already traced a lot of what Buck says at the end back to Eddie and the grocery store but did ya’ll here Chimney say: „Seems like your making this about yourself“ and Bobby implying the same thing, so yeah, I wonder if it was them quoting Eddie or if this is what everyone is supposed to be thinking or if it was just a setup for the breakdown at the end.

Also let’s talk about Eddie real quick here, because I found it really weird that they didn’t reference his platoon from Afghanistan here? Like they could have easily have him say „I’m not in the army anymore but I still talk to my old platoon.“, especially since we MET them one episode before. So either they didn’t think of that, they wanted to reinforce the fear Buck has or Eddie may just be as lonely as Buck?

(Guess which way I’m leaning?)

(Look, children are great but they are no substitute for friends and adult conversation, just saying!)

But I love how hard Mr. Stoic and emotionally unavailable tries to reassure Buck, tries to be there for him. And also did ya’ll notice how, once Eddie speaks for the first time Buck’s focus never strays from him. Hen and Chimney and Bobby talk as well but it seems as if Buck never looked away from Eddie. (Which, definitely get that, he looked good here.) Also how Buck stresses the “That better not happen to us“ - man, what conversation could he be referencing? Man, I wish I had memorised this show by now so I could tell you about two scenes that happened in 3A between Buddie where the topic of us was emphasised a lot but alas I don’t and I can’t.

What the pool scene also proofs once more is that the 118 just like an actual family has a lot of communication issues because Hen and Chimney not being in contact with Tommy or so is a completely different situation but because of their bad communication they don’t realise that this is something they need to explain to Buck because they think this is about Red.

Bobby doesn’t get it either tbh.

But we all know who does, look, I said it about 3.03 and I’ll say it now: Eddie knows Buck. Eddie understands Buck. And Eddie is on the path of realising that Buck needs him to say the actual words and not just let his actions speak! And my my if all of this pays off I will be one happy camper! (Hums Rihanna “We found love in a hopeless place”)

On a sidenote I hate that Red pegged Buck as a hothead because he really really isn’t! He’s just excitable and sometimes struggles with expressing himself and that frustrates him!

Also I never noticed the apartment had an outside area? did we know this? There is a grill?

Also really would love to see Gigi / Dana Strattford again, I liked her, she’s pretty! (But not like to date one of my guys, Tim, kay?)

(Also whats Officer Williams up to these days? Asking for … a friend?)

And to round this episode up: Oliver still looked so sick at times and they put a lot more makeup on him than they normally do? Usually you can see the slight scaring on his face but this episode you couldn’t but you could see the tears / snot mixing with all the makeup when he was crying and honestly, not his best look! (He still makes it work, though! Just saying, I miss 1.02 / 3.02 / 3.03 Buck, I know these episodes hurt but visually they are peak!)

Episode 3.17:

Was that episode amazing? Yes.

Am I still cackling about Oliver Stark having too much leg? Yes.

Did I love the Frank mention with all my heart? Yes.

Was Michael’s meet cute in an elevator less gay than any Buddie scene we got so far specifically any in 2.01 also known as their meet-ugly? That was a rhetorical question, you guys.

As for that comment I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. I mean, if you’re a single guy and you get invited out to fifth wheel at a double date with your sister and her boyfriend and his best friend and her wife, no matter how close you are, you will feel awkward so of course you invite the other single guy who happens to be your best friend who happens to be part of the friendgroup AND the team you’re working with making this a definite team/family/work - outing.

That being said: it took me 23h to come up with a reasonable explanation for this comment and I did scream at my laptop and pause the episode after it was made and I have been thinking “Buddie” confirmed about 100 times since then!

Also, they just spent a shit ton of time together, right? Like, if Buck’s there than so is Eddie and if Eddie is there than so is Buck and I’m clowning and not calm anymore!

Maybe “Buck invites Eddie” can be our always?

In other news this episode has absolutely no relevance for anything, but I love it deeply.

And we made it you guys! It was slower going but it worked!

Thank you to everyone who read so far and thank you to everyone who has been liking and reblogging and commenting! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much this means to me!

(Also please keep doing that! I too am an excitable puppy looking for validation!)

Now, to tag:

@angelcamael, @greyhello, @ipleiade, @the-family-we-choose-118 @chimbuckleys @sevensoulmates

#buddie meta #buck meta #eddie meta #911 meta #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #911 fox #season 3 #textpost #mine #meta #buck #my meta

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urimaginespimp · 4 years

Text

Michael Gray: Better Man pt 9

Though they try to act like that night didn't make them both awkward around each other again, it admittedly did just that.

It was for the best. Olivia kept telling herself. She couldn't even begin to imagine what could've happened if she said yes.

Michael on the other hand was also mentally kicking himself for even going so much as asking.

It's been three days since that night, and both of them for the past few days were making excuses to try to avoid being alone together. Especially Michael.

"I'm heading out for some groceries, Michael." She told him while putting on her coat.

He was sitting by the coffee table, reading something on a piece of paper.

"I might head out later too. Someone I know is visiting the city." He informed her.

"Okay, have fun." She offered him a smile which he returned.

Heading out, she couldn't help but wonder who he was meeting. She knew all of his friends before.

Maybe it's someone he met when I already left. She thought to herself.

When she got home, Michael had already left. She spent the rest of the day arranging what she bought, cleaned up the house, and tried to catch up on her reading.

It's been a while since she got the house to herself, but she surprisingly doesn't miss it like she thought she would.

Glancing at the coffee table, she noticed that the piece of paper Michael was reading earlier was still there.

Picking it up, she read the note:

I heard you're in New York. I'm heading there for two days. If you can, come visit me at xxxxxx, and you can show me around as friends.

C. Murray

Murray... I think I heard that surname before in Grace's wedding.

As she was trying to remember if she knew someone with that last name, the front door creaked. Michael was home.

Putting the note back on the table, she turned to greet him.

"You're back." She smiled at him.

"Yeah, we just went for a stroll and I showed em some spots around." She can't really figure why, but it seems as though he's all tense when it comes to talking about his friend.

C. Murray...

"Have you eaten? There's still food on the table."

"No, I haven't. Care to join me?" He asked, surprising her. This was the first time he initiated to be in the same room as her since the night they went out for drinks.

She nodded and stood up to join him while he eats.

"How about you? How was your day?" He asked her, taking a bite of what she prepared.

"It was uneventful. I just came home and started cleaning." She shrugged.

"I'll help you next time." He promised.

"I think I'm gonna go visit my friend here tomorrow. Would you like to meet her?" She was planning on introducing him to Ginny.

"I'd like to, but I can't. I'm sorry." He replied, not looking up from cutting the meat on his plate.

"I'm meeting my friend again. It's their last day here before going home."

"It's okay, Michael. Another time then." She gave him an assuring smile.

----

The next day, she went out of her room and found that Michael had already left to see this Murray person.

She on the other hand, was excited to see Ginny again.

As soon as she opened the door to the diner, the small bell above it rung.

"Well hello there, stranger." Her old friend was behind the counter as usual, smiling with a pencil on her hand, probably trying to play sudoku on today's paper.

"I've missed you, Ginny." She came over to sit in-front of her.

"I've got to admit dear, I was close to calling authorities when I haven't heard from you ever since that Michael kid came to town."

"I'm sorry. I was preoccupied." She replied guiltily.

"It's alright. Now I know you're safe. Well, tell me everything." She was genuinely curious.

Olivia told her about everything that has transpired the last three weeks - when he arrived, her showing him around, him accompanying her in the office, their drinking and dancing, and how he asked if he could kiss her.

Ginny just blinked at her.

"Please say something, Ginny." She didn't know what the woman was thinking.

"I mean I'm glad that you both are getting along dear, but how long are you both gonna keep this bull up?"

She was taken aback at what she said.

"What do you mean?"

"This 'friendship', dear."

Oh.

"Honestly, I quite prefer it like this."

"Mmmhm." Ginny didn't sound like she believed her, but took hold of her hand. " I just don't want you to regret anything in the end okay?" She was genuinely concerned for her.

"About?" She asked.

"Well, he won't be staying here in New York forever. I just hope you'd get the closure you deserve... if! That's all you want from him." she teased her to lighten up the mood.

Olivia chuckled at what she was implying. But she has to admit, the woman made sense.

"I hear you, Gin. I think I'm gonna do it... just not anytime soon." She gave her friend a reassuring smile.

"That's my girl." Ginny laughed. "And for that, you get a free slice of pie. I'll be right back." the woman then disappeared into the kitchen.

Alone on the countertop, she looked around the diner. Not much has changed about it since she got here. It always had a homey feel to it. The booths were next to two-way mirrors that served as windows, letting customers enjoy their food without people from outside seeing anything except their own reflection.

She smiles at the memory of how many folks would pass by outside and check themselves out, not knowing that people inside could see them.

Her funny reminiscing came to a sudden stop from what her eye caught outside.

Across the diner, there was Michael dining out of a cafe. And as if a bucket of water was thrown at her, she finally had a face to match the name she found last night. The diner suddenly felt too small for her.

She doesn't know how long she's been staring, but her attention was brought back when Ginny touched her shoulder.

"Are you alright, dear? You look like you've seen a ghost." Ginny noticed how pale she's suddenly gotten.

"It's her, Ginny." She turned to look at them again. They seemed to be in deep conversation.

"Who dear?"

Not trying to get the other customers' attention, she turned to her friend, eyes already glistening with tears, and told her in a half whisper.

"The girl that was with him on bed that morning."

--------

The only reason Michael agreed to meet with Charlotte, was because he didn't want to run into her if he were with Olivia. It was better to know where she was, and actually lead her to pathways where there was a slim chance Olivia would be.

Unfortunately for him, he didn't know which diner does Olivia frequently go to.

"You know Michael, when you told me yesterday that you're living with your former girlfriend again, it brought some unpleasant memory." Charlotte said, stirring her tea with a teaspoon.

"I was stupid, Charlotte. Again, I'm sorry for thinking we've broken up that night and dragging you into that mess." He sighed.

"And the other ladies before me?" She accused.

"That was me being a fucking asshole."

"It's not me who you should be apologizing to, Michael. I'm already happily married." She told him, taking a sip of her drink.

"I kind of got the inkling that she'd rather stab herself than talk about our past." He admitted.

"Ugh. men and your inklings. Have you even tried asking?" Charlotte scoffed at him.

"No, but I tried to kiss her one night, and she told me she doesn't want to complicate things." He recalls how conflicted she looked, but was smart enough not to agree. One of them had to be the smart one that night.

"I'm sorry, since when had kissing equate to asking for an apology?" Charlotte shook her head at him. "And besides, I can't stand that someone out there still thinks that I slept with you knowing you still had a girlfriend."

"I'm still looking for the perfect time, okay? Besides, I'm not going the hell home until I make things right with her."

"Well with the rate you're going, I might have my firstborn by then." She chuckled.

Michael just grinned. Their friendship was odd. They've met at Grace's wedding when she was looking for some tokyo, and he introduced her to Isiah who had full supply that night. She was the only one of her past mistakes that actually smacked him on the head when she found out about what he's done.

--------

Olivia was now home, locked up in her room. She left the diner with Ginny in there worried sick for her.

She wasn't crying anymore, but her fingers felt cold and numb, and her eyes were heavy.

She hadn't met the woman at Thomas' wedding, but Michael had told her that he has helped a girl named Charlotte Murray get to Isiah because she was looking forward for some tokyo.

So it was her on the bed with him.

After all these years, she was still in his life, he even went out of his way to actually go meet with her.

Michael wouldn't even be here if Tommy didn't exile him.

Did he even try looking for before he came here? Probably not.

She heard the front door downstairs open. He was home.

Hearing his footsteps come up, she saw his shadow stop by outside her room. Probably trying to figure out if she was already home too.

Please leave me alone. She pleaded in her mind.

Michael on the other side of the door, was contemplating if he should knock to check if she was still awake. His talk with charlotte made him come to his senses. They needed to talk.

Thinking that she's probably sleeping already because it was a little late, he opted to get some rest too.

Tomorrow.

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #michael gray #MichaelGray #Michael Gray imagine #michael gray x reader #michael grey #polly gray #polly grey #thomas shelby #thomasshelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby x reader #Arthur Shelby #John Shelby

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fantasticstoryteller · 4 years

Text

Dragon Lands ch. 6

“Really?” asked Izuku, quivering slightly with his need to write this new information down. His mind whirled with the possibilities—a medicine that could postpone heats. That would be—revolutionary. “How does it work? Does it block the hormonal triggers? Does it fool the body into thinking it’s not time for a heat? How does it work?”

Katsuki, from his space at the edge of the tent (not that he wanted to move away from Deku, but the healers made it clear he had to start sitting up on his own) chuckled. The two women had no idea what they were in for, now that he was mostly awake and able to quiz them. The two women had been surprised when he’d sipped a tea they’d given him and he’d labeled each and every ingredient in it—and the looks on the two faces had been priceless. He was almost sorry the other dragon wasn’t there to see it—almost.

Izuku shot him a grin, knowing what he was thinking before turning back to the two women. “Ah, well,” Kikyo said uncertainly.

“Know how it works we do not,” Kaede said solemnly. “Symptoms, aye, suppression works. Permanent, it is not.”

All three in the tent caught the flicker of relief on Izuku’s face before he leaned forward. “So, what have you noticed about the medicine after you administer it?” His eyes sparkled as he went into depth on his passion and his mind whirled as he tried to figure out if this could apply to dragons.

The tent flap opened and Shouto came in from his latest errand (dumping the human waste a suitable distance from the camp). He saw intense Izuku trying to badger answers out of the two healers and went to sit next to Katsuki. “What did I miss?” he asked in a low voice, so as not to interrupt the three.

Katsuki smirked. “Deku knows everything in that murky tea they keep giving him.”

“Amazing.”

“It’s Deku.” Katsuki’s tone implied that amazing thing would have been if Izuku hadn’t known.

The two of them watched the animated (well, Izuku was animated) discussion about hormones and triggers for a moment. “Do you—think he’s well enough to see the valley yet?” Shouto asked.

Years ago, Shouto and Katsuki had gotten together and tried to think of absolutely everything that Izuku would need in his valley home. While they hadn’t exactly found one that was perfect, they had been able to cultivate herbs and crops in the valley—to make it better. The two of them were anxious for Izuku to see it, to see if he’d like it—or if they needed to search more.

“I don’t think so,” Katsuki replied, keeping his voice low. “He looks like that now, but he’s about to collapse again.” He got up and caught Izuku before he collapsed and gently lowered the boy to the blankets.

“He’s—energetic,” Kikyo said, still looking slightly stunned.

Shouto could see how much strain Katsuki had been under by not being in touching distance, so he stayed where he was. “He’s always been fascinated with healing,” he told the two. “He wants to be a dragon doctor.”

“In any event,” Kaede interrupted, “healing well he is. Well enough to move soon he will be.”

Practice at decoding what the old woman said made mental translation easy. “How well will he move?” he asked the women as Katsuki took one of Izuku’s hands in his own again. He fought the urge to be there and take the other one—this conversation was important. “Well enough to be carried by dragon?” he added.

“Depends,” Kikyo said turning her attention, “on if you mean you in full dragon form or in your current half-dragon form.”

“Aye. Smoother you fly as half-human,” Kaede added. “Smoother would be better, so aye. Well enough. Safe enough.”

“And will he still need the two of you?” asked Katsuki.

“He would—if he were not as knowledgeable about medicine as he is. We can instruct him on the proper dosages and how to wean himself off the medicines before he does himself harm.”

Katsuki’s head shot up and he glared at the two of them. “The medicine is dangerous?” he demanded.

Neither healer flinched at his tone. “Only if he takes it too long,” Kikyo told the dragon. Izuku was still sleeping, and Shouto took comfort in the deep, rhythmic sound of his breathing. “All medicine is like that—safe only when it’s needed.”

Katsuki nodded and relaxed a little. “This tent marvelous is,” Kaede said as she limped over to the most recent bag of bandages that Shouto had brought. “Warm without blocking air, and well padded too.”

Katsuki nodded. “I got it from one of the migrating humans.”

A sliver of dread pricks at Shouto. “Did you kill them Bakugo?” he asked.

“Fuck no!” spat Bakugo. “I fucking traded for the tent. Three of those large meat things.” Katsuki couldn't be bothered with remembering what an animal was called most of the time.

Oddly enough, Shouto could picture the exchange. He could see Bakugo winging over the migrating human camp, dropping the three bison, and telling everyone who hadn’t fled that he wanted the big red tent over there. Shoutu felt certain the humans would have been terrified that Bakugo was going to eat them, and had probably worked faster than they’d ever had in their lives to get the tent ready for Bakugo to take. Then they’d probably stared in shock as he winged away with the tent, leaving the meat behind.

He couldn't stop the chuckle that rose from his throat at the mental image. “Fuck you!” snarled Katsuki. “Shut up!”

Izuku grunted softly and opened green eyes. “Kacchan?” he asked.

“Hey,” Katsuki said as he gently helped Izuku sit up again. Shoutou made his way over to where the two of them were, unable to hold back any longer.

“What happened?” Izuku asked groggily.

Shouto looked at Katsuki and then glanced at the two healers. None of the other three seemed concerned. “You collapsed,” Shouto told Izuku. He braced Izuku’s body with his own and took Izuku’s free hand.

“Too excited you were,” Kaede said as she shuffled over. She peered into each of Izuku’s eyes and nodded. “Too excited for as little healed you are,” she told him. “But worry not, well healing you are.”

“It will take a few days before your stamina is back to normal,” Kikyo informed them. She risked her arms by taking one from Katsuki so she could feel his pulse. “Your growling is interfering with my count,” she told the dragon firmly. Katsuki subsided—slightly. “Good,” she said relinquishing the hand back to the dragon who rubbed it against his face. “Your pulse isn’t too fast or too slow, right where it should be. Good.”

Kaede had hobbled over to the fire. She turned and bent a one-eyed glare on the two dragons. “Getting better he will not be if never sitting himself he is!” she told them.

Katsuki growled—but moved away, still holding Izuku’s hand. His red eyes glared at the two women as Kaede stirred what was in the pot. Shouto had a harder time complying. He wanted Izuku to get better, he really did—but he kept remembering him pale and burning with fever. He was afraid that if he let go, Izuku would vanish.

Izuku turned his head to look at Shouto. “I’m okay,” he told the dragon with a smile. “I really am.”

“Better getting all the time,” Kaede said as she ladled stuff into a bowl. She passed the first bowl to Kikyo who sipped the broth inside (the two women had started showing Katsuki the food wasn’t poison after Izuku nearly choked on the first bowl) before passing an identical bowl to Izuku.

Izuku’s hands trembled as he held the bowl to his mouth, but were steady enough the food didn’t spill. Shouto’s own hands twitched with the need for help, but Bakugo glared him down. Izuku lowered the bowl and looked at the two healers. “Needle leaves?” he asked.

“Blood still thick is,” Kaede said as she ladled a third bowl. “Weak against disease still you are. Needle leaves help will. Besides,” added the old woman as she took a sip of her own bowl of soup, “good for cold this soup is, healthy you to keep.”

Shouto and Katsuki were no longer paying attention to conversation. Heading towards them was another dragon. Neither of them were sure why another dragon would be paying a visit, but the distinctive sound of the wing-beats labeled the incoming dragon as Enji.

Enji was rare among the dragons—unlike the others he could transform into a fully human state, and that was what walked into the tent. “Izuku. Bakugo. Shouto. Healers,” he said simply to greet everyone.

Katsuki bristled; he’d never liked Enji. “The fuck do you want?” he growled.

“Kacchan!” admonished Izuku. He looked up at Enji. “Sorry about that, Sir.”

Enji smiled, a rare expression for his human face, and the features softened. “There is no need for you to call me ‘Sir’,” he told the human. “We may not be related yet, but we soon will be. Besides, I like to think you’ve been part of the family since long ago.” Izuku flushed, but the two dragons at his side could tell he was pleased, so they said nothing. “I actually came to speak with the healers,” Enji continued as he looked at them. The two women looked startled, and Shouto shifted. He had thought he’d be taking one of the healers to his father, not the other way around. “I understand,” he said eagerly, “that the two of you have a method of postponing heats.”

“Know not if on dragons it works we do,” Kaede said slowly.

Izuku looked up from his soup, eyes sparkling once again. “That depends,” he said happily, “on how it works!”

#my hero academia #inuyasha #dragons #healers #omegaverse #alpha katsuki #alpha shoutou #omega izuku

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cattywh0mpus · 4 years

Text

This is the most personal thing I have ever fucking posted anywhere and I hope this gets buried quick but also iduno maybe other people will relate and it’ll help them maybe or make them worse i am going to regret this the second I hit post

Ps- nobody freak out I am like, safe and not in danger lmao just fyi

TW: so many. Uh angst, mention of self harm, implied suicide/death, lots of very bad profanity, depression, anxiety, bad poetry, abuse of rhyming scheme, rhyming best with best, way too long, dude don’t read this

I have things to do, a whole list of things I wanna do inside my head and none of them are this stupid poem, and it fills me with such dread Because it’s well into the evening and I’ve yet to leave my bed And I know that I’ll still be fucking tweaking this at 3am instead Of fucking sleeping or drinking water or taking any of my meds And I’ll keep doing it for 15 years until I’m fucking dead because

My brain is a bastard. My brain is a creep. It haunts me in the daytime, but sometimes it doesn’t when I sleep And I would sleep maybe forever if it wasn’t for this fucking spark That forces me to think of pretty things and lanterns in the dark And things I could be fucking making, frogs and gardens and dumb art Please God, it’s not what I begged for, I didn’t want to build this ark But I know without it, I would fucking drown in piss and fall apart

My brain is an asshole. My brain is a cunt. But please don’t let the language scare you, i’m just putting up a front Because I’m a lot more sad than angry and a lot more “used to it” than sad And my only outlet is the things I make although they’re fucking bad And I try to offer it some better things, with better outcomes to be had it slaps them out of my fucking shaking hands, it’s obsessions ironclad I just wanted to be healthy, helpful, and do things with my fucking dad but

My brain is a monster. My brain is a freak. It’s supposed to be a tool I use, but instead it’s using me Piloting me like a god damn gundam made out of bones and fucking meat And I’m powerless to stop it, though I kick and bite and scream Or I used to, I fucking swear I did, but now I mostly lay around and dream Of a day when I can do the things I like without injesting fucking speed

My brain is a liar, but fucking so am I. I craft such stupid fucking stories for me to crawl under and hide (somehow more believable than the truths I tell, how and fucking why?) I’m so embarrassed by it’s actions, I need to believe they aren’t mine It’s my brain, that son of a bitch, making me out to be a bad, bad guy Making my chest and heart and lungs get tied up in it’s vicious lies Forcing my mouth to spout such bullshit and waterboard my fucking eyes Sometimes I honestly believe it’s honest, and not a coward in disguise It’s last name is Puzzle, it’s all a game to it, shame and panic is the prize

My brain is a shit. My brain is a turd. It convinces me I’m dumb and mute whenever I’m desperate to be heard Sometimes I feel like a prisoner, a fat cow separated from the herd I’d do anything (that i’m able) to be the cage around the bird I need to fucking rebel, so I promise I won’t write another fucking word

...BUT MY BRAIN’S A FUCKING SHITEATING COCKSUCKING PRICK because my brain’s a fucking cannibal and it makes me fucking sick I want to tear it out by it’s ugly fucking stem and smash it with a brick No more executive dysfunction, no more confusion, no more fucking tricks Just the thought of being fucking rid of it gets me so fucking slick But my mommy would be sad, so you win this round, you fucking dick

But one day you’ll be a goner, a rotting, ruined mass So one day when no one’s looking, you had better watch your wrinkled ass And less and less people are watching, so you better think fucking fast Before I put your hippocampus in a headlock, and your neocortex in a cast There’s one thing I’m fucking certain of, your reign won’t fucking last Because thank god nothing is permanent, even this will come to pass And then we’ll be like all the other graveyard corpses, fucking normative at last

...Okay, listen brain I’m sorry. Maybe that was too intense? But you’re making me so fucking stupid, you make me make no fucking sense I’ve tried so hard to fucking work with you, to compromise, hence The doctors appointments and the pills and everything at great expense But you make me miss all my appointments and forget to take my meds And what’s the point of the watch that reminds me if you are too fucking dense To remember to put it on in the mornings, you make everything so tense Just like you strain my boyfriend’s wallet with every wasted fucking cent And sometimes it feels like none of it has even made a fucking dent Because my wisdom tooth is still rotting and my funny bone is spent My brain is the worst fucking tenant, and it doesn’t even pay the rent

My brain is a failure, but my brain tries it’s best. To distract me from the everything, to give me fucking rest But all it really does is hinder me, I’m never at my best. It thinks it’s doing something good for me, but i’m not fucking impressed The days go by so fucking quickly and I’m just as quick to fucking forget Every memory like busted christmas lights, a tangled useless mess Something that once brought such happiness but now it’s just a pest I need an exterminator in my synapses, because they’re a fucking rat’s nest I haven’t seen my friends in so so long, It puts our friendship to the test But I never wanted to fucking test them, I just want this shit to end I need a coping mechanism on which I can actually depend I’ve lost my appetite for grief eating, my emotional support animals were hens But bandits slaughtered them for funsies, so now it’s just an empty pen And I was never one for self harm, though I tried it way back when But now every time I see the burn, I have to think of it again? Which seems counter fucking productive.. hey, do you think you maybe can Stop me from doing all this fucking rambling? Though it’s been tried by better men...

I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, but I can’t speak for it I’m not sure if it is sorry, cuz it’s such a fucking tit But I am trying to be better, and I won’t hate you if you split Because I wish I could bail everyday, and I don’t wanna be a hypocrite I’ll still love you, i’ll still love you, (if i remember you that is) And I’ll keep wishing every day that I can find the strength to fucking quit. Every day, every minute, holy shit.

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spacemilkies · 5 years

Text

serendipity || captain allen x reader

for @thedevianthunterrk800 who unknowingly dragged me into the pits of hell dau. now i can’t play or watch footage without focusing in on this man.

“I’m sorry, ma’am but no press are allowed on the premise without strict permission.”

The accusation nearly stuns you at first, before you realize in fact that you never quite shed your work clothing before venturing out. Not that it did much good now that you were caught red handed, you plucked your badge from you neck and offered a placating smile to the receptionist android.

“Sorry, I’m here on personal business not journalistic ventures.” As if to prove your point, you rose the hand clutching the bag of take out. “Just a wife bringing dinner to her husband.”

The android was quiet, her gaze giving you another look over. No doubt cross referencing your heart rate to your words. Perhaps had your husband not been employed at such a high risk job, a simple face recognition scan could have cleared you. But it seemed not even matrimony came with any real civil benefits.

The android completed its assessment.

“I see. Please-”

“Hey, what are you doing here so late?”

A visible shudder of relief ripped across your skin as you whipped around. Appearing to be finishing up for the evening, Hank was looked about what you expected him to look first thing in the morning- ready to go home.

It’s easy to offer a smile in disguise of pity. “Figured if he wasn't going to make an effort for dinner, I could at least keep him from starving.”

“Yeah, is that why he’s so cranky? Missing one too many meals?”

Hank’s years of ‘facility’ comradery with your husband managed to bleed into a promising friendship of your own. It was a specific type of working relationship that only your hardened husband could achieve. Frankly most of his more social interactions were bridged by your efforts in some way or fashion.

“Trying to keep him fed is a full time job.”

“Dealing with him period is a fucking career,” he muttered under his breath. Gratefully, Hank waved off the android. “Wife of the fucking SWAT captain, relax would you.”

“I honestly have no idea where he is but we all know his second wife is his desk.”

The obvious joke resonated differently with you than he likely intended for it to. In truth, your husband, his desk … and yourself had a bit of a polymourous relationship, to put it lightly. Not that you would embarrass David by bringing that up now.

Maybe over drinks on night.

Grateful for the unexpected intervention, you took advantage of the reprieve to escape through the security gates while you could. Waving to Hank, you bid him a good night.

“The fourth floor isn’t that big. He can’t hide forever.”

The few officers who did recognize you bid you a mix of greetings and farewells from those eager to return to their own families. As you climbed levels however, the gestures became more strict in the form of salutes and slim smiles that oozed stress.

Rolling your eyes to the roof of the elevator, you began to pray that it wasn't a premonition of what to expect when you finally discovered your husband. You reminded yourself that you were merely there to deliver a meal, not stir up anything that could be settled at home.

Your marriage worked this long because you respected those boundaries. The same ones that had been built without your knowledge back in university.

By the relaxed posture of his assistant it was safe to assume he wasn’t in his office. Rachel confirmed as much with a quick wave.

“Captain Allen is in a meeting, ma’am.”

“Thats fine. Is his office open? Just dropping off dinner.”

She eyed the bag as if it was a saving grace. No doubt a prayer she’d made earlier in the day to try and aleve whatever symptoms were aggravating her boss’ nerves.

If only it was so easy.

“I can get that for you.”

The panel in front of the door switches from red and blue, granting you access. You find yet another reason to send the young woman a nice gift basket. As if all the years of putting up with your husband didn’t earn her a vacation overseas.

Frankly, she might never look back.

“Thank you, Nancy.”

His office is as bleak and bland as the last time you’d entered it. Not even the wealth of his awards managing to permeate the walls. A few of the important credentials made the cut out of sheer necessity. You’d managed to break up the rest of the wall with two scenery photos.

And that was it.

For someone who practically made his office his home, the lack of comfortably baffled you.

Placing the bags on the corner of his desk, you made yourself comfortable in his chair. Your job title aloe made snooping both enticing and forbidden. A thin lace of trust had been bestowed upon you given your connection to one of the largest media networks in the city. While your husband’s authority gave you more liberties than most it didn’t mean it couldnt be ripped away.

So against your journalist instinct, you kept your hands to yourself while you twiddled with a simple app on your phone. Fortunately, your husband didn’t keep you waiting long before you heard Nancy sharp cry of warning.

“Oh! Wait sir, your-”

You don’t know who is more surprised when you husband enters his office unaware. His shoulders stiffen briefly before he recognizes your silhouette by his desk, Nancy’s warning long forgotten. He looked like he was ready to chew out his next victim of the day and you could only snort in amusement.

“Really, David.”

He’s wearing your favorite hoody of his- one you know come with a plethora of replacements but not a single is ever given to you despite your insistence. You’ve taken to wearing them briefly after laundry loads, while the house is to yourself. By the time he makes it home, its nestled comfortably in his drawer as if it was never touched.

A secret compromise.

The door slides shut behind him as he approaches the desk. Affections pleasantly not forgotten as he leans down to peck at your cheek,“Its late, you didn't have to come by.”

“Well, I was hungry too. Figured you wouldn't want your food to get cold. Reheating meat will sometimes make it tough.”

David took the opportunity to peek into the paper bags, a hint of a smile triggering wider one for you when he recognized one of his favorites. You watched quietly as he unpacked the food, not missing how he arranged things carefully to keeps your safely confined while setting aside his own.

It was an easier dismissal when you were expecting it.

The hard edge of your neglected badge bit into your skin as you adjusted yourself against the desk, “Trying to get rid of me so soon, captain. I didn’t even get to opportunity to ask my questions yet.”

Unraveling the warmth of a freshly baked roll, your husband gave you an unamused grimace before taking a bite from the buttery loaf.

“The SWAT team is not currently accepting any questions nor has any scheduled plans to council the press for ongoing operations.”

Your smile is as dangerous as your job implies, “So you guys are working on something top secret.”

“Would be home if it wasn’t.”

That was a lie and you both knew it. David would always find something to keep him occupied in his career. It had built him up and functioned as his stability. You were mere crutches on the sidelines waiting until you were needed.

As simple as it would be to challenge the claim, you thought better of it. Instead you continued to eat up time, relaxed comfortably in his chair while your husband was distracted with his meal. It seemed that his hunger had gotten to a point where he was reluctant to entertain anything that isn't satisfying his stomach.

“Strip was sold out, so I hope skirt is okay?”

Your husband wasn’t huge on grilling like some of the neighbors in your area but he did appreciate a good steak. Sometimes if you were lucky, he would even surprise you with a nice dinner in the kitchen on the rare occasions he actual beat you home or the scarcer days off.

Using his teeth, David fought the crackle of the plastic wrapped utensil set,” Smells good, baby. Thank you.”

His obvious appreciation warmed you enough to coax a bit of boldness out of you. Walking your fingertips closer to the bag, you tugged it closer. “The renovators called back. They can fit us in next weekend to resurface the shower.”

Your house wasn’t old but there had been some changes you’d promised yourself when you’d first moved it. Earlier in your marriage, you had hoped to make a couples project out of it. But as the years passed, you began to understand that if you didn't get someone else on the job it wasn't going to get done.

Carefully pulling your own box free, you kept your voice even as your poked through your meal. “I’m having my mom come meet them that Thursday so they can do a final walkthrough for a quote. I’ll be home for the other days.”

“You’re not worried she won't change your plans?”

Twirling your pasta around your fork, you gave his question a thoughtful pause. It had crossed your mind. Your home wasn’t the first thing she had tried to intervene in. But you had made your own wishes noted in the initial meeting. Having your mother there was just supervision at this point.

“Nah, I'll be there for all the real work. I really just need her to keep Kaius calm.”

Retired from service but certainly not an impression on his age, the eight year old shepard still took his training seriously at home. It made it difficult to let anyone into the house without one of you there to assure him it was okay. The task was still difficult for you without David’s overwhelming presence to settle the canine.

Resting his hip against the corner of the desk, your husband became visibly more relaxed into the conversation as he balanced the bottom of his togo box on his hand. “I don’t mind if he comes to work. He should be fine in my office for a day.”

You shrugged,”It's all worked out.”

At most, you were expecting one human to supervise a few androids. As impersonal as it made the job, it certainly didnt put a damper on efficiency. You expected nothing less than the projected project.

He surprised you by leaning in then to press a quick kiss to your lips, a sneaky swipe of tongue catching the splash of sauce previously unknown to you. When you look up, he was watching you with that analytical look.

“I know what you’re doing.”

Caught, you could only smile sheepishly as you pointed the fork in his direction. “This is nice, don’t ruin it.”

Humming thoughtfully, your husband eventually returned to his own meal.

David finished well before fullness crept in for you, his own haste favoring time over taste. But he was getting his nutrition so you found it hard to complain.

A few tedious comments came to mind but none of them felt strong enough to tether him to a conversation. Accepting the time you got gratefully, you began putting away the leftovers to take home.

“I’m off tomorrow so you don’t need to tip toe. I’ll leave the light on above the stove.”

Sometimes you found it funny how much your friends raves about the life you must have being married to a SWAT captain. Overwhelmed by their own fantasies of rugged encounters and frantic passion.

It was true on occasion. There were times that the stress of the job encouraged his hands to be a little more rough. Or time constraints found you bent over something convenient with your panties jerked to the side.

As thrilling as it was, the novelty wore off quicker than it did in literature.

There wasn’t a day you weren’t thankful of how well your husband aged, you just wanted more opportunities to appreciate it.

You rise from your seat, expecting a final kiss of gratitude before you went on your way.

You hasn’t realized your eyes had slid closed until they were opening in confusion at the touch of his thumb against your cheek. Against your better judgement, you leaned into the brief show of affection, lips parting to accept the pad of his finger.

You know it won’t lead to much but the small stirrings it causes is worth the brevity. You crave his closeness whether he’s away like any wife would. But loving David Allen takes the punch of out love and jackhammers a new meaning into it.

“”Thank you.”

The sincerity of it pressures your heart and your eyes close voluntarily this time, just wishing he would meet your expectation.

There is a pause, the silence tarnished by your audible sigh. Part of it is drawn back in a sharp gasp when his nose bumps against your own, then his lips find yours.

The kiss is slow and measured, familiar even as you dare to run your palms down his front. His stomach curls under your touch, the lean muscle jumping slightly as your fingers challenge the hem of his pants.

Swallowing, you taunt further with another tug. Venerability paints itself a lovely shade against your skin, coating you in a rosy blush. This wasn’t your arriving plan. But years have taught you that planning ahead rarely went well with David.

Carefully, you reach up and thumb the curve of his lower lip and draw him even closer. Even breaths waft over your face. Measured well, despite the proposition offered before him.

In a mess of tongue and teeth, you whisper his name and teeter his resolve in the same breath.

It has been a very long time since he’s humored an excursion like this and you’re patting yourself on the back for taking the chance.

His mouth teases the skin at the nape of your neck and you wonder how far he plans to take this. His nose brushes against your ear next, nuzzling just under the curve where he knows you like it best.

Your shirt rides up as he rolls his body against you, his hands quick to tend to your warm skin. His thumb teases the underside of your bra and it’s difficult not to let your mind wander.

Chest rising and falling in erratic intervals, you finally put a voice behind your desires.

“Will fuck me here?”

David breathes in sharply then and for a moment you’re worried he’ll pull back to he senses. Your heart flutters nervously, awaiting a curt dismissal. But then a knee nudges firmly between your thighs and you find yourself biting your cheek to contain your grin.

He continues to mouth at your neck while his hands answer your question, quickly and efficiently working at your belt. The hand not holding you in place slips under the hem of your pants with practiced ease.

It will have to be quick but part of the thrill is inherit in the act itself. You know you’re already wet before his fingers reach their destination, his thumb flicking against your clit as his fingers curl into your sticky wetness.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, kitten? That’s why you came so late at night. Hoping to bride me into a quick fuck for your troubles?”

Part of you wished that had been your intention. You would have tried a hell of a lot harder if you’d known he’d be this willing.

Sorry, Nancy.

There was always something sinfully dangerous about being taken in his office. To think the place where the city puts most of its trust will be defiled by your marital affairs will never fail to get you in the mood.

David catches you before you can get careless, moving the food a safe distance away from your body before pressing you firmer against the desk. He doesn’t pay much attention to your breast but the stimulation from being pressed into the desktop makes up for it. Nothing else matters however when he’s dragging down his pants and your own with hast movements and lining himself up.

It’s a slow sink- deep as he allows you time to open up for him.

The situation doesn’t allow for it to be drawn out much longer than that. The frivolous teasing prior had already eaten into your limited time of unsuspicion. Not to mention any concerning noises that might permeate the door.

David does the sound control for you, risking quiet grunts as he digs his grip into the curve of your hip. His pace is slow but firmly backed by his weight as he quite literally fucks the air right out of your lungs, thrust near hard enough to shake the desk.

He lifts his hips slightly, just enough too prod for the right angle, hitting that same spot again and again as you grip desperately at his arms. You return the favor, stealing his groans as you kiss back as vehemently as his hips grind into you. It only takes one good strategic thrust to capsize you under your simmering climax.

You remember a time, fumbling in college when you had to remind him to be wary- to pull out. Even early in your marriage you’d been cautious.

Now, it was welcomed. The fact of not trying to try bleeding into a kink to take off the edge of pending results. You’d decided mutually to accept a child if the possibility arose but you wouldn’t make an intentional effort.

Nearing your forties now, it wasn’t a forgotten proposition but it hardly factored into your mindset. It’s no where near innocent as your ankles dig firmly into his lower back, drawing him closet and locking him in.

Your husband’s hips stuttered briefly as his fingers reassessed their grip before he resumed his pace with firmer thrusts. Each one bouncing off the round of your backside. The hand at the base of your spine keeps you anchored- not that you’d made any attempt to disagree with anything he was giving you.

He seemed to reward you for that, a lazy thumb counting your vertebrae in its travels, eliciting a quivering pleasure.

“Maybe this is the key, huh? You’re always so much more receptive when there is the potential for audience.”

He knows and fuck, you miss that voice. The way it rumbles deep in his chest before tumbling out in timber.

“Of course, I’d never let them see. But I’d be happy to show off the results, hmm?”

His hands slid to your flank before curling around to flatten against the plane of your belly. It stays there, stroking the pseudo curve implanted in his head.

He encourages you to grind back into his quickening thrusts, the fingers at your hip dragging you back in assistance. Whining, you dip your chest and arch your back. Your actions echo your thoughts. Faster. More. Deeper. Please

“That's what you want, right? For me to fill you up, baby?”

God… you drool around the thought. Your words fumbling around gurgles as you attempt to collect yourself enough to stop moaning and properly respond. Blood rushed in your ears and floods down your body. Working yourself up from your toes, you flex them, pushing your weight to your feet and lifting. It offers you a better advantage to pushing back into each eager thrust.

Rather than praise your efforts, your husband only returns your gesture by carding his fingers through your hair. Tightening. Shoving down.

“Fuck, yes, Dav-“ You hiss when he knocks particularly hard against your cervix to which he mends with an apologetic kiss to the back of your head. His thrust slow marginally, just enough to regain control before he’s coaxing you again with a nip to the shell of your ear.

“Tell me, kitten.”

You reach for something-not sure of what. Neither does he it seems, but his hand finds yours anyway to which you curl them both the fabric of your chest.

“I want it all-please.”

He jerks you back-once...twice before suddenly you’re overwhelmed with the weight of him on top and the pressure of him inside.

You lie there for a short time, uncomfortable, but too laced by exhaustion to do much else. The feeling of fatigue crept onto you both with out warning, using the disguise of passion to worm its way inside.

He’s not perfect. Neither yourself or this marriage. But where most had doomed you both to fail, mutual perseverance told the rest to go fuck themselves.

There wasn’t much else either of you could offer to the remaining hours of the night. With that resolve, your slow rhythmic strokes against your husband’s back came to a halt, slightly rousing him in the process.

“Mhmm, come home with me, yeah?”

He heaves a sigh but you know you have him.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

#detriot become human #captain allen x reader #captain allen #dbd imagines #captain allen imagines #captain allen headacanons #my contribution to the dau #see i wrote a thing

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lamiasluck · 5 years

Text

Apart of the Pack

(This is a gift for @hostgalli19! I hope you enjoy)

Summary: Yancy, a powerful beast among beasts, roams through the forest. He's an unstoppable force, all his prey cower before him in the quick last moments they have before they're ripped apart. Lately he's sent his eyes on one man that's been travelling through the forest everyday. A man cloaked in a red hood.

Characters: Yancy, Eric, and Derek

AU: Little Red Riding Hood inspired, Yancy’s a werewolf

Words: 3757

Warnings: Referenced abuse and implied character death

Read on AO3!

The forest was quiet, it always was. Only the bravest of souls travelled through the Happy Trails forest. Despite the cutesy name, monsters of all kinds roamed amongst the dense trees. If anyone were to travel too far or stray from the path, their souls would be doomed to be the next meal of some bloodthirsty beast. So only the strongest went through, the bravest of the brave.

Or souls with a chore to complete, apparently.

Yancy has been watching this guy for awhile now. He wore a red hood that covered most of his body, but Yancy could tell that he was one of those frail types. He constantly looked over his shoulder and kept a wary eye on the bushes as he passed. Everyday he walked on the path, not daring to stray for even a second. Yancy could smell the fear on him, almost as well as he could smell the food he always carried.

Alongside the red hood, another constant was the basket of pastries and food. He delivered them to the same house everyday. A family member, maybe? Yancy never bothered with the details. What he did bother with was what looked like an easy meal.

For someone like him, his diet mainly consisted of meats, but he wouldn’t mind a bread roll every once and awhile. Besides, if he couldn’t get what was in the basket he could tear that man apart and use his red hood as a napkin. All it took was a rustle of a bush for the man to start cowering.

“W-Who’s there?!” The man panicked. He held his basket close as Yancy stepped closer.

Now in an approachable form, Yancy held up his arms in a passive manner. “Easy there, pipsqueak. I’m just passin’ by.”

The man still seemed apprehensive. Even in the daytime this forest was dangerous, so he kept his guard up. He looked around for any other signs of life. As far as he could see, it was just him and this stranger.

“What’s someone like youse doing ‘ere? This place is pretty dangerous, y’know?” Yancy got a better look at the man’s face as he stared petrified. Round glasses framed his face, with quirked up eyebrows and a slightly quivering lip to add onto his defenseless attitude. It delighted Yancy to see such an easy target.

“I’m, um, I-I’m giving some f-food to my - to my dad.” The man shrunk further into himself as Yancy looked him up and down, eyes focusing on his food basket. “Wh-What are you doing here…?”

Yancy pressed his lips together. “I’m one of ‘em monster hunters,” he lied, “Just checkin’ to make sure everything’s alright ‘ere. The name’s Yancy.”

Instantly, the man relaxed at his claim. Not entirely relaxed, but relaxed enough that Yancy doesn’t have to worry about him running away soon. Eyes blinded by panic missed Yancy’s oddly strong and clawed nails, and his abnormally sharpened toothy smile.

“I’m Eric,” he muttered. Yancy’s roughed up appearance put him on edge, but he assumed he was coming out of a scuffle of some sorts.

Yancy nodded softly, repeating the name under his breath. “Well then, Eric, youse should pick up the pace there. Youse don’t know what could be lurking ‘round.” He looked at the basket, then at Eric’s face. He was alright looking for a human, though he needed more meat on his bones.

“I try… t-try to be careful.”

“Why don’t I walk youse to ya destination? It’d be safer.” He could wait for his meal. If he killed Eric now then that destroyed his chances of getting more baked goods in the future.

Eric chewed on his lip as he contemplated. He fidgeted with the basket’s handle, and Yancy noticed a yellow handkerchief tied around it. There was still a bit to travel after this. If a monster hunter was here then that could mean there are more monsters about, so he nodded his head.

Their walk was relatively peaceful. Yancy learned that Eric owned a bakery in the nearby town and had to deliver his father fresh goods everyday after he closed up shop. That last fact sounded odd to Yancy, a bit controlling, but he assumed Eric was taking care of his father. Another defenseless person then. Today was really shaping up for him.

In a safe part of the forest, next to another town, was a small lodge house. Eric turned to Yancy.

“Um… Th-Thank you,” he said, smiling shakely at the other. “I-I don’t have any - any money to g-give… ‘M sorry.”

“That’s alright, pipsqueak.” Yancy smiled back, though it was naturally more dangerous. He pointed at the basket. “Say, why don’t youse give me some bread and we’ll call it even.”

Eric flinched as he made his offer, a newfound fear present in his eyes. “I… I’m n-not sure…”

“Why’s that?” Yancy asked with a frown.

Eric looked at Yancy, then to the basket, then finally at the house. He was unaware as Yancy clenched his fists and snarled his teeth slightly. He had something else to be afraid of. “These are for my dad. I-I shouldn’t - he-he’ll be mad.”

“Your dad won’t miss one piece. I’m really hungry from all the…” Yancy shifted in place, “monster huntin’, y’know?”

The way Eric furrowed his brows and shivered made Yancy pity him. It was almost enough to make reconsider killing him. Much to his delight, Eric rummaged through his basket and pulled out a sweet bun. A bit small, but it was something. It was enough to satisfy Yancy.

There was an unspoken off promise that they’ll meet again. Eric was relieved that there was someone that could help him, he doesn’t see many people travel through here after all. Yancy hasn’t spent this much time with a human without tearing them to shreds, he was downright curious of how long this could go.

“Until next time, pipsqueak.”

The next day Eric came by the usual path. However, Yancy could tell this time was different. Eric was off, he could smell it and he could notice a limp Eric poorly tried to hide.

He went up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Youse alright?”

Eric screamed and turned around, causing Yancy to flinch back. Once he saw who it was he calmed down slightly and tried to regain his breath.

“Uh… I’m sorry?”

“N-No, no, it - it’s fine,” Eric reassured, more so to himself than Yancy. “Everything’s fine.”

“Ya sure ‘bout that? Looks like youse saw a ghost or somethin’.” In this forest he could have very well have, actually. “Lemme walk wit’ youse again.” Eric simply nodded his head and continued his path. His gaze was cast downwards. Yancy could feel the unease radiating off him, so they both kept quiet for some time. When Yancy spoke again, he bit his tongue and held off on the question plaguing his mind.

‘What happened to youse?’

“Youse make good bread, I really liked the thing ya gave me.”

Eric lit up slightly at the comment, a small smile present underneath his hood. “Really…? Th-That’s good.”

“Youse got a lot of customers, then?” If he had the money and a good reputation he’d definitely be at the bakery everyday. The sweet bun he got was heavenly. Why, he’d kill to have another! And he just might, but he was holding off on that.

“Yeah, p-people seem to - to like my stuff… I think, at-at least.”

“I’m surprised there’s any left for ya pops.”

Immediately Eric’s expression fell at that comment. Yancy blinked in surprise as he hunched his shoulders and shivered slightly. “I… I make fresh s-stuff for him. He doesn’t - doesn’t like t-the bread th-that’s leftover.”

Yancy didn’t comment on that, only nodding and continuing their path. What Eric said left a suspicious feeling in his chest, but he’s only talked to this guy twice, best not to invade too much. Soon after, they arrived at the lodge house and Eric turned to Yancy, and expression of guilt apparent.

“I-I can’t, um, I can’t give you bread today,” he admitted. “My… dad doesn’t like it - h-he thought I a-ate his stuff.”

Yancy raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Youse didn’t eat it though? Tell ‘im that youse gave it to someone.”

“I did… he didn’t - he d-didn’t believe me.” He looked down and fiddled with his handkerchief. Then he looked back at Yancy with a shaky smile. “I-I can make you extra bread tomorrow, I-I swear!”

Yancy huffed, though he couldn’t bare any real malice at the other. “Alright, but youse better promise me.”

“I promise.”

There was a bad taste in Yancy’s mouth as he saw Eric enter the house. If he was any closer with him, he’d wouldn’t let him in that house, but he was he to say what he can or can’t do? He ignored any instincts bothering him and kept quiet. Eric was a nervous guy anyways, maybe he was worrying for nothing.

Oddly enough, he wanted to see him again, and not just for the bread rolls. Curiosity was a dangerous thing for a monster.

Time and time again, Yancy met up with Eric as he walked the path. The next time they saw each other, Eric was faring better and didn’t have a major limp. Yancy assumed that was an accident that he got injured that day.

Except that it wasn’t.

It was sporadic, but some days Eric would be more nervous and hesitant. Zoning out, scared, easily surprised. Spending every day with the guy made Yancy notice quick. However, he felt as though he shouldn’t intrude, he doesn’t know him that well after all. So he settled with what they had, bread rolls and nice talks about their lives. Or what Yancy made up about his, he can’t really say what he actually was now could he?

“Y-You really k-killed those monsters?” Eric asked awestruck.

A fearsome shadow creature cloaked in red and blue, form cracking with a desire for vengeance and pain, and hulking minotaur deceivingly chipper and colourful.

“Yeah, they’s put up a tough fight, but I got ‘em in the end.”

Yancy had a lovely dinner with them last night. If anything, their meal gave them a bit of a struggle, but that made for a fun chase and a satisfying resolution.

Today Eric was in a rush. Their pace was hurried though Eric never explained why it needed to be. Yancy told his fairytales right up until the last minute, but eventually they stood before that same old house. Eric looked at his father’s house for a moment, pressing his lips together in a tight line. He hesitated much more lately, he couldn’t help it. Snapping out of his thoughts, he reached in his basket and pulled out a freshly baked loaf of bread.

Yancy eagerly took the food, but also cast a concerned look to his friend. “Youse gonna be alright, pipsqueak?”

There were words stuck on Eric’s tongue. He could say so much, but he stopped himself. “It… i-it’s nothing! I-I’m getting kinda… kinda sick!” It didn’t look like Yancy believed his fake cough. Still, he stuck with his explanation, silently cursing his cowardice. “I-I’ll see you around.”

He didn’t give Yancy the chance to say goodbye and left quickly. That same bad feeling was present as Yancy watched him enter the house. He has never met his father, and Eric barely talked about him, so he was in the dark. It was too late to get Eric now, so he was going to talk about his strange behaviour tomorrow.

As walked back the trail, dead set on going back to his cave and enjoying his food. On the path, there was something yellow on the ground. Upon closer inspection, Yancy saw that it was Eric’s handkerchief.

‘Must’ve fell off,’ he thought to himself as he picked up the cloth. ‘I’ll give it to him tomorrow.’

Eric didn’t show up the next day.

It made Yancy restless. Why the hell happened to him? He’s dutiful on his task for his father, and he seemed in perfect health yesterday, so it was unlikely that he wasn’t here by his own accord. Something must’ve got him, but Yancy put in a good word to the other monsters not to hurt him. Hell, he ended up sharing his pastries with them, it couldn’t be them. That left him with very few options.

‘His dad… that fucker must’ve done something. I know it.’

He gripped Eric’s handkerchief tightly in his hands.

What started as him stalking another potential victim blossomed into something he couldn’t predict. Friendship. Yancy ended up caring for that shy bastard and now he wants to find him. His handkerchief was the map he needed.

Yancy’s monstrous curse could help him here. More trained canines had the gift of tracking people down by their scent, all they needed was an object close to their target. Yancy was no different. Even if he wasn’t in his wolf form his heightened senses could track down Eric’s trail. It lead him to the outskirts of the forest in a nearby town. A bakery to be exact.

The town was quiet, night time soon approaching as the sky darkened. Which meant it was near closing time for Eric. Usually he would have went to the forest hours before, but perhaps he was too busy with work. That’s what Yancy hoped at least. Yancy pushed the doors open, a chime above the doorway ringing throughout the shop, still no response. However, he knew Eric was here by his scent.

“Eric? Youse alright?” He began to make his way towards the kitchen. “Youse dropped your handkerchief so I, uh… asked around and found your bakery.”

Again, no response. At this point Yancy felt the pit in his stomach punch him in the gut as he stepped closer to the kitchen. As he opened the doors the atmosphere was off. The air was hot from the ovens working, and the counters were messy with flour and other ingredients.

There were still no sight of Eric in the kitchen, but after a quick search he found him. However, Eric was in a state that made his blood boil. Eric was in a heap on the floor, hiding behind a counter and curled up on himself, barely awake and sobbing weakly.

Quickly, Yancy crouched down. “Holy shit,” he exclaimed, breathless with surprise. “What happened to youse?!” He rolled Eric over on his back and got a good look at him. Sweat matted Eric’s messy hair on his forehead, his breathing was faint and raspy, and tears stained his face. Eric only acknowledged Yancy with a quiet groan and blinked slowly at him.

“Who did this?” Yancy growled. Eric shook his head and tried to curl in on himself again. Yancy wouldn’t allow that, he cupped Eric’s face and made him look at him. “I’m going to help youse, hold on.” He picked him up bridal style and walked out of the kitchen. There was a sitting booth in the main shop, so he laid him down there. Questions of all sorts where thrown at Eric, but he wasn’t in the right mind to answer.

“I-It was - It was really hot and-and I felt f-funny… th-then I was - I-I was on the floor…” Eric slurred through his words. A broken sob interrupted his train of thought, making him groan and clutch his stomach. “It-It hurts… It h-hurts so much…” he mindlessly whimpered.

The shivering and beaten down sight of his friend made Yancy see red. “Tell me who hurt youse.” His tone was stern and seethed through snarled teeth.

Eric whimpered louder and covered his face at the demand. Eventually, however, he raised his shaky form up and sat somewhat upright. Yancy helped support him as he looked around, but then he froze.

“I-It’s night time…?” He stared out the window like the world was ending. “N-No…” he shook his head, “No, no, no! I’m - I’m late! I… I can’t be - I c-can’t-” He tried to get up. Yancy got up too and was quick enough to catch him as his legs buckled and he collapsed. He’s never heard someone cry harder, unfiltered sobs echoed within the quiet night as Eric shuddered in his arms.

“I can’t be late, I can’t…! My-My dad, h-he’s gonna - please le-lemme go,” Eric tried to escape Yancy’s hold on him to no avail. He tried to push himself further away from Yancy’s chest, only showing the pure fear clouding his teary eyes. “I can’t - can’t be late, please s-stop. Please… pl-please lemme go…” He didn’t make sense anymore, but Yancy heard all he needed.

“I can take ya home. Where do youse live?”

“No, I can’t-”

“Eric, you’re not going back there.” Yancy cut him off, eyes stern as his tone. “If youse want, I can give your pops the bread.” There was immense joy in the fact that he was lying. “You’s going home.”

It took a bit of convincing, but with Yancy’s persistence and Eric’s delirious state, Yancy found out where his friend lived. He carried Eric the whole way and eventually made it to a cozy lodge house in town similar to Eric’s father’s. However, this place felt much safer.

Eric could barely unlock the door, but eventually Yancy took him to his room. By the time he hit his bed he was out like a light, exhausting himself by crying. Yancy watched as he curled in on himself as he slept. Guard completely down and incredibly frail looking, Yancy could even see the peaks of bruises as his shirt slightly revealed his stomach. An easy target. Yancy found himself hating that fact. He pulled the blankets over Eric’s form and left with a plan in mind.

The night was quiet for Derek. Everything right down to his silent rage. A part of him hoped that Eric died and that was the explanation for him not being here. Death would be a better fate than what he had in store.

A wolf’s howl sounded off in the distance.

Derek stilled, looking out his window. Any apprehension was quickly shaken off and dismissed, however. There was probably a hunt going on. He continued about his night until there was a strong knock on his door. Immediately, he assumed it was Eric. That boy never missed a day, after all, he wasn’t allowed to.

Slowly, he got up from his chair and went to the door.

‘What a strong knock Eric has…’ Derek shook his head as he scowled. ‘Must be because he’s in a rush.’ He looked out the window and saw Eric completely covered in his red hood. He couldn’t even see his face under the fabric.

‘What a hulky form under his hood…’ Derek blinked rapidly as he reached for the doorknob. ‘The night is playing tricks on my eyes.’

“Hey dad, I’ve got your grub,” a strong, steady voice called out to him. Abnormally confident.

‘What a deep voice he has…’ The door was opened as he pondered to himself. He stood before the hooded figure with expectancy. ‘Has he got a cold?’

Derek gasped as “Eric” unveiled his hood. “You’re not my son?!”

Yancy growled. “Youse don’t deserve the right to call him that.”

Eric had to stay home for the next few days, but luckily Yancy was there to check up on him.

There was a knock on the door.

Yancy got up to answer the door and was met with a frantic messenger.

“Where’s Eric?!” She had widened eyes and was frantic. Yancy had to stop her from actually entering the home in her panic.

“Calm down,” he snapped, placing firm hands on her shoulders. “Eric’s upstairs resting, I’m taking care of him. What’s goin’ on?”

After a few deep breaths, the woman steadied her voice the best she could and spoke in a fearful tone. “It’s his father, Derek. He was killed,” she sounded remorseful. Instantly, Yancy knew that no one knew how Derek treated Eric. “They say a… a-a werewolf did it.”

Yancy expected the crime scene to be found quicker. It wasn’t a pretty one, bloodied and with distant claw marks no other animal could mimic.

“I’ll break the news to him,” he murmured, managing to muster up a somber attitude. Shortly after the woman left, he huffed to himself and paced in the empty room. Eric was upstairs resting, actually relaxing during his slow physical and mental healing process. This news would complicate this process surely.

Did he regret what he did?

No.

His grim attitude instantly turned the atmosphere cold. Eric put down the book he was reading and stared at him with concern. He wasn’t sure what reaction to expect when he told Eric the news.

It was silent. Eric’s gaze was distant, staring at nothing in particular. His lips were parted ever so slightly, but no words were muttered. No tears, no frantic reactions. Nothing. His mind buzzed with questions. ‘What am I going to do? What should I do? Is this real?’

‘Why am I not sad?’

“D-Did… Did they c-catch the-the werewolf?”

Yancy stared at the fear present in Eric’s eyes. He stared at the man that trusted him so much, and he shook his head. “They’s didn’t catch ‘em. Not that I know of.”

“Oh…” Eric brought his knees to his chest and buried his face. Tears began to build up in his eyes as the weight of the situation finally crushed him. “Yancy, wh-what am I gonna - gonna do?”

Eric let Yancy coax him into a gentle embrace. He weakly wrapped his arms around Yancy’s torso as he cried into his shoulder. Never before has Yancy treated someone so carefully, he muttered reassurances as he pet Eric’s head. “It’s alright, you’ll get through this.” He looked at his own hands, the same hands that ripped away someone’s life from their desperate grasps. He could remember the blood, he could remember everything. However, he didn’t feel as though he killed a human. It felt as though he was killing a monster.

“W-What if the were-werewolf f-finds me and… a-and kills me? Or-Or you?!”

“Don’t worry, Eric. I’ll protect youse.” Yancy held the shivering man tighter. He leaned down and buried his head in his shoulder and neck, silently claiming him in a vow in his mind. Other monsters will know to fuck off from this human. “I’ll protect youse.”

Derek will be the last monster to hurt Eric

#yancy #ahwm yancy #eric derekson #derek derekson #markiplier #markiplier egos #fanfic

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perspective-series · 5 years

Text

Vampire Perspective (5/17)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Death threats, slight starvation, unwanted touching, fear, Virgil

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

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The next evening, about an hour after sunset, Virgil finally rose from his coffin. He pushed the lid to the side, giving a wide yawn.

Logan’s tired gaze immediately went to the vampire’s coffin as it was opened, revealing said vampire. He had tried to take a nap during the time he was alone but he found it difficult. He, maybe, got an hour rest at the most, so he was thoroughly exhausted.

And also very hungry.

Virgil came over, a pleased sort of expression on his face. “Evening.” He teased, looking into the cage.

Logan found himself scooting further back, trying to put as much distance between himself and the vampire as he could. He didn’t answer back, just looked down as he half-consciously clutched his stomach.

Virgil looked over the borrower. Something seemed… off. Was it getting sick? That would certainly be gross, almost like spoiled food. But it didn’t look particularly green. Still, Virgil sensed that this was more than just plain fear. It would be faster to just eat the borrower and be done with it, but now he found himself growing curious.

“What?” Virgil squinted. “What’s wrong with you?”

Logan bit his lip. “I-I am quite...hungry.” He said, not meeting the vampire’s red gaze. “I know you do not plan on me surviving here long but something to fill me up will surely make your own...meal of me a bit larger.” He hated that line of reasoning but he had to assume it would be the only one the vampire would listen to.

“...crap.” Virgil muttered to himself. He had forgotten mortals needed actual food. What did mortals eat these days, anyhow? Regardless, the borrower had a point. It would be more satisfying if the borrower was healthy (probably), and Virgil could always wait longer. He wasn’t feeling very famished tonight anyways.

“Alright, stay here.” Virgil gave a groan, puffing out into a bat and flying off into the forest. Humans were hunter/gatherers, and if borrowers still stole from humans they must eat the same things. Some meat would suffice, and likely any meat.

It was with this thought process that Virgil returned to his bedroom a few hours later, looking a bit bedraggled and holding his catch by its tail.

“Will this do?” Virgil asked, swinging the dead squirrel slightly back and forth.

Logan looked at the dead rodent in shock and disgust, holding his arm up to his nose to block out the horrid stench coming from it. “Er, n-no, I-I don’t eat raw meat...or cooked squirrel for that matter. Either could get me sick.” Who knew what kind of diseases the animal had?

“Are you kidding me?” Virgil’s nose crinkled in annoyance. “You’re seriously that picky and delicate? Jeez, how do you even survive.”

By not eating that. Logan thought, but didn’t say out loud. “We survive by living off the humans we live with. Taking scraps of food they leave out and things they wouldn’t miss to use as supplies.” Logan explained.

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I ain’t human.” Virgil snarled. “What can you eat that’s outside?”

Logan flinched back before quickly trying to compose himself. “I...suppose berries would suffice. As long as they aren’t poisonous, of course.” Thankfully, Logan had been taught to tell as he was sure the vampire had no idea of such things.

“How the hell am I supposed to tell if they’re poisonous?” Virgil muttered, more to himself as he stomped out the door.

The vampire returned shortly, a strange assortment of berries in his hand and no dead squirrels in sight.

“Here.” He said gruffly, opening the cage and dumping them in.

Logan moved out of the way as the berries were dumped near him. He slowly moved closer, watching the vampire warily, before inspecting the different berries. He nodded. “Yes, most of these are safe to eat as far as I can tell.” He would avoid the few he wasn’t sure about or knew to be fairly poisonous. He picked one up and took a bite, almost moaning at finally having some food in him. He then paused. “...Thank you.”

“Sure thing.” Virgil found himself watching the borrower, curious about his eating habits. He seemed to get weirdly into some of the berries, which was a bold statement for a guy who lived off blood.

Logan continued to eat, until he noticed the vampire staring at him. He paused and coughed awkwardly. “May I...help you?”

“You’re weird.” Virgil said bluntly.

Logan blinked, setting the berry down. “I’m...sorry?” The vampire was calling him weird?

“Borrowers are so strange.” Virgil frowned, now going off on a bit of a tangent. “If you all are so little and fragile, I don’t understand how you’ve survived this long.”

Logan sighed. “I understand why it may be hard for you to understand but it really is quite simple.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “We hardly ever venture out outside, at least, for the most part. We stay indoors and live off whatever humans live in the building. We stick to the inside of walls and make our homes there, hidden and away from anyone who might want to do us harm.”

Logan looked away, examining another berry. “Yes, it is very dangerous. But it’s life. I, and other borrowers, have been living this way for many, many years.”

“Believe me, I know, I was there.” Virgil gave an amused smirk.

Logan met Virgil’s eyes after a moment. “...Oh? How old are you, exactly?” He had heard vampires lived a long time but never knew what that meant.

“Older than you’ll ever be.” Virgil said cryptically.

“I...well, yes, I would assume so, I have heard vampires could live to be hundreds of years old. But that doesn’t quite answer my question.” Logan said, raising an eyebrow.

“Aww, c’mon, don’t you know it’s rude to ask a vamp his age?” Virgil teased. “But go on, guess. How old do I look? Just remember I don’t take well to insults.” Virgil gave a playful snap of his teeth.

Logan flinched back and gulped, adjusting his glasses. “Well...you look like you are only 22, maybe 24 at the most. But I know that is not the case based on how you are acting.” Logan hummed, looking the vampire over. “I’ll guess...200 years? Give or take a few years, of course.”

Virgil stared at the borrower for a long time, taking pleasure in the way he squirmed uncomfortably.

“You flatter me.” Virgil finally said, giving him a pleased- well, not exactly a smile, but not the usual condescending smirk either. “I’m older, actually. 764 years come December.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “That...is certainly a long time to be alive.” He would be but a small blip in the vampire’s timeline. A thought that really put his own existence into thought.

“Yeah.” Virgil shrugged. The whole immortality thing lost its appeal somewhere in the century or two he spent alone. “How old are you, anyhow?”

“I am 24.” Logan answered.

“Weird.” Virgil tried to think back to when he was 24- he thought it had something to do with the plague.

Logan thought that was a better way to summarize the vampire, not himself. He ate another bite of a berry in careful thought. “I know...it does not really matter. But it’s getting tiresome referring to you as ‘the vampire’. What is your name?”

Virgil blinked, surprised the borrower was even curious. “Why do you care? I thought you were supposed to be quaking in your boots and cowering in my shadow.”

“Oh, I am very much terrified of my fate.” Logan admitted, shifting his stance. “But at this point, it’s not worth it to dwell in my own fear. I...still have a little time. I don’t want to spend it unable to do anything.” Not to mention, focusing on fear would stop him from finding a way to escape; but he wasn’t about to let the vampire know that.

...huh. “Virgil.” Virgil introduced himself, tilting his head. This borrower was certainly...strange.

“Logan.” He introduced back, despite not being asked. “I would say it was pleasant to meet you but...I believe that kind of courtesy does not apply here.”

Virgil snorted, that dark gleam in his eye again. “You only say that because I’m only keeping you around until I can suck you dry.”

Logan felt a chill go down his spine and he shivered. “Well...yes. That’s why I implied it was not nice to meet you. I’d rather we had never met, in fact.”

“Lucky for me you didn’t get a say then.” Virgil glanced out the window, frowning at how it had begun to lighten. “Ugh, it’s nearly morning already? Great, I spent the whole night scouring the stupid forest for plants.”

“Already?” Had the night passed so quickly already?

“Yeah, that’s how time works.” Virgil grumbled, getting back into his coffin. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Logan furrowed his eyebrows. “Where would I go?” He asked, looking around at the cage that had him effectively trapped.

“Oh yeah.” Virgil seemed to find this amusing, a smirk on his face before he was once again encased.

Logan sighed and prepared for another long day alone with his thoughts. He wondered if tonight was the night he would be eaten…

-----------------------------------------

Logan glanced out the window where the sun was just starting to set. He let out a tense sigh, curling in on himself as he stared down at the metal floor. He knew there was no use dwelling on the past...but he couldn’t help it. His mind kept wandering to Roman and what Virgil had told him before.

Roman was...gone. Was it his fault? Logically he knew there was nothing he could have done but some deep rooted part of him was blaming himself for all of this happening. If he had just been paying more attention or-or something then maybe he wouldn’t be here, awaiting his own death.

Maybe Roman would still be alive.

Logan didn’t want to give up but he was finding it difficult to figure out a way out. He had already scoped out the cage he was in several times and so far, nothing had presented itself as a way to escape. He truly was trapped and at Virgil’s mercy.

Well...at least he would be seeing Roman again soon.

There was a shuffling from the coffin a few minutes later, the vampire appearing once the window had gone dark.

Virgil gave a groan, stretching his arms above his head. The familiar scent of borrower wafted around his room, making Logan into almost an aromatherapy candle.

Virgil felt himself growing hungrier, but still the thought of just eating the borrower felt… anticlimactic. Yes, surely that was the reason for the tightening in his throat. It would be too easy.

“Evening.” Virgil greeted, crossing his arms in an intimidating fashion and creeping over to the cage.

Logan felt his heart rate spike up in fear. He forced his facial features to remain neutral, though. He nodded. “Evening.” His hands tightened it’s hold on the fabric of his jeans, waiting for the news that this was it. His last few moments.

“You’re fairly polite for a snack.” Virgil teased, reaching out to unlock the enclosure with agonizing slowness.

Logan’s eyes widened, forgoing the neutral expression and he jumped to his feet. “L-Like I said, I see n-no point in letting my...my fear consume me.” Although he would admit, he was having a hard time getting a handle on it right now.

“Fear consume you, huh?” Virgil grinned, showing off his fangs as he snatched up the borrower. “Unfortunate choice of words.”

Logan yelped, shaking in the vampire’s tight grip. “I-I, that was com-completely unintentional.” He stuttered. He stared into Virgil’s mouth and at his fangs for only a moment before he had to turn his head away.

Virgil gave an appreciative hum. “You know for someone who’s claiming to be unafraid, you’re shaking quite a bit.”

“Well it’s...it’s a little hard when I know-when I know what’s about to h-happen.” Logan winced. He truly wished he could stop but his body wasn’t listening.

“Oh, really?” Virgil tilted his head, pretending to be confused. “And what exactly is going to happen? Tell me.”

Logan shut his eyes tight at the demand. “You...You are going to e-eat me.” He said quietly, a few tears escaping his closed eyes.

Virgil paused, watching the borrower break down in his hand. He had hoped this would help rouse some of his predatorial instincts, but now he just felt that terrible nausea again, throwing him briefly back to horrible memories. Curse this stupid sympathetic spirit of his, it only landed him in trouble.

“...nah.” Virgil shrugged, giving a laid back appearance.

Logan blinked, a few more tears falling. He looked up at Virgil. “Wh-What?” He felt hope rise up in his chest but he pushed it down, knowing it couldn’t be that simple.

“Not tonight, that’s too easy.” Virgil decided. Maybe tomorrow he’d be hungry enough to go through with it.

“I see…” Not what he was hoping but it seemed like he at least had another night to live. Part of him was thankful though the other part was simply wishing to be done with it already. “So...why am I out then?” He asked, squirming some more in the grip.

“I got bored, and it’s fun to see you struggle.” Virgil’s expression darkened maniacally, with a flick of his wrist sending the borrower into the air.

“Ah!” Logan screamed as he was suddenly airborne. He landed with a soft thud and a groan back onto Virgil’s palm. His shaking had increased. “P-Please, don’t…”

“Don’t what?” Virgil tossed again, catching with his non-dominant hand this time. “Need I remind you of my cat-like reflexes?”

Logan screamed again, shakily sitting up as he landed again. “A-All the same, one wrong move and I could…” He gulped, catching how far up he was from the ground.

“Fall to an early untimely death?” Virgil supplied, twisting his wrist and dangling Logan upside-down by his fingers.

“Y-Yes!” Logan answered as he felt a rush of blood go to his head. Already he was becoming dizzy. “Put me down!” He struggled for a second before realizing how bad of an idea that was and stilled.

“Oh come now, I don’t think you’d really die from this height.” Virgil slowly began to swing the borrower back and forth. “But if you’re a betting man… hey, it’s your funeral. I’m happy to indulge you to prove it. The roof, however, that would be fatal for your brittle baby bones.”

“No! I am certainly not, please, I thought you wanted me alive when you ate me!” Logan exclaimed, once again using logic the vampire would take to.

“Eh, blood is blood, even if freshly killed.” Virgil wondered if maybe that would make it easier to stomach. Maybe he should just off the borrower and be done with it. Once the borrower was dead there’d be no use in wasting it.

Logan’s eyes widened but...he knew there was nothing he could do. If Virgil wanted to kill him now then...then he would be killed. At least he wouldn’t have to be eaten alive anymore. He slumped, ceasing his struggles. “Well...I cannot stop you.” He shut his eyes tight, preparing for a fall and hoping his death was quick and painless.

#vampire perspective #vampire!virgil #borrower!logan #perspective series #part 5 #look it's getting good #and by good we mean depressing

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jamiebluewind · 5 years

Text

A Flame In The Dark: Chapter 2

Fandom: Dimension 20, Fantasy High

Word Count: 3575

Perspective: Riz

Chapter 1 (sorry it wont format!): https://jamiebluewind.tumblr.com/post/189152152044/a-flame-in-the-dark-chapter-1

Notes: Hurt/Comfort. This chapter is much fluffier than the last, but still mind the tags! Special thanks to my beta readers @plutosfury and @winterpower98

Characters: Riz Gukgak, Fig Faeth, Adaine Abernant, Tracker O'Shaughnessey, Sandra Lynn Faeth, Cathilda Ceíli, Boggy the Froggy, and unnamed OC (implied Fabian, Kristen, Gorgug, and Ragh)

Chapter Warnings: cursing, violence mention, murder mention, abuse mention, healed injuries, child abuse mention, child neglect, recovering from starvation, dark themes, trauma, bugs as food (please message me if I missed any)

Summary: The group makes it back to camp, Riz still cradling their guest.

*****

Check out this awesome art inspired by Chapter 1!

https://jamiebluewind.tumblr.com/post/189168730249/winterpower98-drew-some-doodles-of-the-little

https://plutosfury.tumblr.com/post/189155204080/i-was-told-by-a-certain-someone-cough

*****

By the time they reached camp, Riz's arms were aching. He was never the strongest one in the group and the sleeping child in his arms had tested what little strength he did have. It wasn't a weight thing. She was actually very light (if he was honest, she probably weighed less than his briefcase). It was just a combination of things. Post battle fatigue. Hiking for a couple hours. Tired muscles holding something in an odd position. It was worth it though. She looked like she hadn't slept in a long time and needed a nap more than he needed arms that didn't hate him.

He had actually been planning on getting her some food out of his pack after she was healed. She would be hungry then and the food would be less likely to come back up. What he hadn't planned on was her dozing off in his arms. He wondered what had been going on in her little body that Fig's magic had targeted. Whatever it was, the relief she felt was enough to make her fall asleep so hard that she was dead to the world. It took both arms to carry her after that.

He shifted, leaning his body back so that more of her weight was on his chest, and held her awkwardly for a moment while he placed his now free hand on a nearby rock to help him sit down. Normally he would try to find something to sit on to keep from messing up his clothes, but he was tired and filthy and out of fucks. He let out a breath, his throbbing feet grateful for the relief. He shifted the child a bit to give his arms a break too. She didn't seem to mind... or even wiggle for that matter. Riz got a little chuckle out of it.

The others were off getting everything set up for the night. Tracker was preping the moon haven. The campfire crackled to life as they got out various supplies. Quiet chatter filled the air.

Adaine stood nearby, leaning against a tree. She was quiet, only occasionally adding to the chatter or shaking her head at their friends' antics. The spell she'd been working on for most of the hike was probably ready, but left uncast. Riz smiled. She was probably holding it until the child woke up. She had always been the braincell of the group. He wasn't sure why he was surprised.

Riz wasn't sure how long he had been lost in thought when the smell of food cooking hit him. He felt her twitch and looked down to see a little nose twitch, followed by sleepy eyes blinking open. There was a tiny jump as she took in her surroundings and her brain caught up with what was going on.

[Good morning], Riz said with a smile. She looked up at him with her eyes barely open and yawned. [You up for something to eat?]

Any hint that she was tired was gone in an instant. Her ears perked up and she looked at him with wide eyes. She looked so much like a puppy at meal time that Riz was surprised that she didn't start pawing at his shirt! [You can't have a lot at one time], he told her. Her brows lowered as she gave him an angry pout. [BUT, I'll make sure you get a lot of small meals to keep from overloading your stomach and you can have as much to drink as you want.] After a moment of deliberation, her faced relaxed. He supposed that was as close as he was gonna get to her agreeing with him.

Riz looked towards the campfire and the food cooking over it. It smelled good sure, but a little too heavy and vegetable filled for a goblin who's gone without food for a while. At least he knew how to get her what she needed.

"Hey Adaine," he called out. The elf looked away from the group and over towards Riz. "Could you come over here real quick?"

Adaine leaned up, wiping invisible dust off her legs before she made her way over towards the pair. She slowed as she approached, making eye contact with the child. Oops. He almost forgot. [This is 'Adaine'], Riz told the child. [I need her to come over here. Is that okay?]

The child looked at Adaine and then back at Riz. She watched Adaine as she carefully made her way over and sat down across from them. The child didn't seem to mind Adaine's presence. She looked more curious than anything. Riz wondered if it was a magical ability from Boggy or Adaine herself.

"I have a spell ready for her," Adaine said. She looked at the child as she spoke to Riz, her voice a steady calming tone. "I'll need to use it before I can do anything else. It will allow her to understand us, but only for an hour. I have to touch her for it to work."

Riz nodded and looked down. He rolled the words over in his brain, trying to figure out the best way to phrase it. ['Adaine' can... make you understand what everybody is saying for a little while if you let her touch you. It's kinda like what 'Fig' did, only 'Adaine' doesn't need music to make it work.]

The child was still a moment as she regarded Adaine. Then, she reached out a hand. Adaine slowly reached out, closing the distance. As she touched the small hand, her eyes shone with a blue light. It only lated a moment. The child examined her hand and looked back up at Adaine.

"Hello," Adaine said with a soft smile. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

The child's eyes grew wide as she stared at Adaine. She blinked several times.

"My name is Adaine Abernant," she said to the child. Riz wanted to laugh at how formal she sounded. "I would like to be your friend, if you'll let me of course." The child only responded with more blinking.

"I want to try something," Adaine continued, "just to be sure that you can understand me. I don't want you to feel obligated to talk. You should feel comfortable around us. So all you have to do is nod," she said as she nodded, "or shake your head," she said, demonstrating. "A nod means yes. A head shake means no. Do you understand?" There was a pause followed by a single curt nod. There was a reason that Adaine was the braines of the party. "Fantastic," she said with a smile.

"Now," Adaine said, turning her attention towards Riz, "I understand that there was something you wanted to ask me?"

Riz had almost let it slip his mind. "We need to get some fluids in her," he said. "Some food too. Could you get her some of that electrolyte stuff for kids to start?"

Adaine nodded and reached in her pocket. She pulled out a plain water bottle filled with slightly thick liquid and handed it to the child. The child tilted her head and reached out, sticking her hand in Adaine's pocket only to jerk a bit and lean over farther, speading the pocket open to look inside. Adaine hid a laugh behind her hand.

"It's a magical jacket," Adaine told her. "I can pull things I want out of it... as long as they aren't too expensive." Adaine blinked and looked like she had an idea. "I'll pull out a few things for you if you let me get you cleaned up first."

The child considered for a moment and then nodded. Adaine cast prestidigatation. Riz was thankful that he was in range.

The child's hair seemed to expand as the weight of the mud was lifted. Her tangle of curls were redish-orange at the base, but transitioned into a pale orange at the end. It was like she was suddenly haloed by a mass of warm flame.

The color of her skin was also a surprise. Before, she had reminded him of a caramel latte, but underneath the dirt and grime was something closer to butterscotch. It was a warm yellow-orange that complemented her bright hair.

The child held up a hand to examine her clean skin. Riz cursed himself for being too perceptive. Without the dirt in the way, he could see scars litterered across her skin. Some were faded and small. Others looked like they must have been deep when they were fresh. He felt the rage trying to bubble up in him again as he silently wished that he had taken his time killing that bastard. Breathe in. And out. Just be grateful he's dead now. And in hell. Definitely in hell... where Bill Seacaster is. Huh. Maybe Fabian's dad would be willing to double murder him? The thought helped him relax a little.

"Much better," Adaine said with a nod. "I'll get you some better clothes after you've had something to eat. Oh Riz?" she asked.

"Hum?" Riz answered, still a bit lost in thought.

"What would be safe for her to eat?" Adaine asked. "I'm honestly unfamiliar with goblin dietary needs and you always seem willing to eat anything, so I'm at a bit of a loss."

Riz thought back to all the times he was sick as a kid. What food his mom would fix. What to avoid. "Probably meat with no salt and not a lot of fat," he said. "Chicken. Ham. That kind of thing. Maybe some rice... oh!" he said and then blushed. This was gonna be a little embarrassing to explain. "A lot of goblin moms make this dish when their kids get sick. It's... kinda like a rice ball?" He screwed his face. "No. Not exactly. But similar enough I guess. It is a ball of rice. Sometimes the rice is mixed with cricket flour, but not always. They also have this... bug filling. Like a puree of earthworms, crickets, meal worms... it's easy on our stomachs and has a lot of protein. Plants too, but they have already been broken down, so they wont bother us when we have a sick stomach. We... call them bug balls."

Riz stopped and looked up at Adaine. He expected to see her wrinkling her nose as most people do, but she looked more curious than anything. She thought for a moment before reaching her hand in her pocket and pulled out what looked to be three bug balls. She looked over at the child, about to say something when a little hand bolted out and grabbed one. It was gone in a flash. "I was going to say that maybe Riz should test these first," she said, covering up the remaining two to avoid them being snatched up as well, "but I guess you made that decision for me." She shook her head, unable to hide her smile. "Riz?" she asked, holding out one of the remaining balls, "Would you mind?"

Riz took the bug ball and bit down. It was hard not to inhale his food like he normally did, but he needed to make sure they were made right. "Not bad," he said as he ate the rest in a blink of an eye. "Maybe a little less salt? At least until she's feeling better." He looked down at the kid eyeing the remaining ball. "You can have the other one later," he told her. She pouted. "We gotta make sure your stomach handles the first one okay." He picked up the sports bottle and handed it to her, "For now, have some of this."

She looked at the bottle and tilted her head. Riz fought the urge to facepalm when he realized she wouldn't know what to do with it. "Like this," Riz said as he pulled a drink from the bottle and then handed it to her. She examined the bottle, took a drink,... and then made a terrible face, shaking her head at the bottle.

Adaine laughed. "I don't believe she's used to sweets," she said, pulling another water bottle out of her pocket. "This one," she said, pointing to the new bottle, "is just plain water. I'll refill it as much as you like, but I would also like you to finish the other bottle... if you can."

The child hesitantly took the new bottle and took a sip before nearly sucking it dry, squeezing the bottle to make the water come out faster. Adaine pulled a large container of water out of her pocket and refilled the bottle before handing it back to her.

"Could I share some tea with her later?" Adaine asked. Amber eyes looked at her, waiting on an explanation. "Oh! Hum..." she said, pausing to think. "Tea is like... well... you take hot water and mix special flowers or leaves with it to make it taste different." The child's brows furrowed at this. "It can also do stuff like... help you sleep or keep you awake. It depends on the flower or leaf." A nod followed.

"I don't see why not," Riz answered. "Just... maybe avoid the sugar."

A cheeky grin spread across Adaine's face. "I was planning on her actually drinking it, Riz," she said with a smirk.

The child handed Adaine the empty water bottle. She refilled it again and handed it back. The child put it back to her mouth and lazily sucked at the bottle, her desperation mostly gone.

Adaine looked at the child, studying something for a few moments before reaching into her coat. She pulled out a handfull of solid colored cloth and held it up for inspection. It was a simple sleeveless sundress. Instead of the fiery color Riz was expecting it to be, the dress was closer to a cornflower blue mixed with a splash of green. It looked soft, contrasting the rough burlap tunic she was currently wearing. The bottom hung losely, reminding Riz of a flower petal. There was a decent sized half moon pocket in the center of the chest, stitching dividing it into two smaller sections.

"Well?" Adaine asked, looking from the dress to the child. "What do you think?" Adaine was met with wide eyes and an enthusiastic nod. "Well then, let's get you out of those rags and into something fancy!"

The child stood up and took off her borrowed hat, placing it gently on Riz's lap. She grabbed the bottom of her tunic and Riz barely had time to look away before she pulled it off.

He realized then that the others had been watching the three of them as the group of teens made little sounds of surprise before turning their heads, save Fig who just said "huh." which he found a little weird. The adults mostly seemed to get a laugh out of it.

There was a beat of silence. "Oh..." Adaine said. "Hum, well. Oh Riz?" Adaine sounded nervous. "Do um... do goblins normally have tails?"

"Um... no?" Riz answered, a little confused. "I mean, it's a recessive trait. It CAN happen, but it's kinda rare. It's usually just a nub though. Why?" Riz asked. "Does she have one?"

"Yes..." Adaine answered, trailing off. "It's a very nice tail," she said sweetly, probably to the child. "Arms up please!"

"Dude," Fig said. She had moved closer and seemed to be staring at the child. "It aint a nub. It's long enough for her to wear it like a belt!" Riz's eyes went wide. I mean, sure it was possible. There were a few tribes scattered about that had them. He had just never seen one in person.

"Dude... you look so cool!" Fig said enthusiastically. "I hope if I ever grow a tail, it looks as cool as yours. You should leave it out. Show it off."

"Is it safe for me to look now?" Riz asked, still facing away.

"Oh!" Adaine answered. "Sorry Riz. Yes. You can look now."

Riz turned around and looked at the child. The dress fit her well, the bottom hanging lose and moving as she twisted softly side to side. Her hands were stuffed in pockets hidden in the folds of the dress, her shoulders hunched forward. The dress hung past her knees. A slinder tail hung down past the end of the dress, curling up to avoid the ground. The tail twitched slightly, maybe from anxiety over having it exposed, maybe just because of nerves in general. Riz tried not to imagine why she would feel the need to hide it under her clothes. He failed.

"You look great!" Riz said with a bit too much enthusiasm. "I like all the pockets. And it looks soft." She smiled just a crack and nodded as she continued to sway and watch the dress move.

"It cool," Fig said, tapping her chin, "but it could be cooler." She pulled out her bag and started digging for... something. Amber eyes watched her as she pulled out random jewelry, shaking her head and muttering to herself as she went. "Ah ha!" she said as she came up triumphant. She held up a necklace with a long dark chain. Hanging below it was an orange teardrop pendant, sparkling in the light. "Bought this back on Leviathan," she stated as she looked towards the child. "It was practically MADE for you. You want?"

The child paused before responding with an enthusiastic nod. Fig walked over and crouched down before handing over the necklace. The child held it up, examining the stone. Fig stayed crouched as she looked, waiting until amber eyes met hers. "You're supposed to wear it," Fig said pointing at the necklace. She was answered with a curious gaze as the child's head tilted to the side.

"Here," Fig said "I'll show you." She took the necklace from tiny hands and put it over the child's head. Despite the long chain, it couldn't get past her massive tangle of hair. It just sat there on top of her curls like a hair accessory. "Holy shit you have a lot of hair!" Fig said with a laugh. She reached out and tossled it a bit with her fingers. The child didn't seem to mind.

"Well," Fig said, patting her thigh, "that didn't work. Let me just..." Fig trailed off as she undid the clasp and put the chain around the child's neck before fastening it back together. "There we go!" she said, once again triumphant. "Looks great on ya kid."

Fig wasn't lying. The fiery stone suited her. She also seemed to love the way the light shined through it and the smooth texture.

While watching her, he caught Adaine fumbling for something out if the corner of his eye. He looked over just in time to see her pull out a large sunhat. "I noticed that the light seems to bother your eyes," she said. "Would this help?"

Tiny hands took the hat and examined it before nodding and placing it on her head. The hair inside the hat squished down to fit, making the hair outside the hat stick out. She adjusted the rim a bit and sighed happily. She nodded at Adaine again. Adaine smiled back.

"Would you like to meet Boggy?" Adaine asked. The child tilted her head. Adaine took out her frog and placed him in the child's lap. He let out a soft ribbit.

"No no no no no..." Riz yelped as he jumped up to place his hand between Boggy and the child's open mouth. "Boggy is not food," Riz clarified. He tried to ignore Adaine's eyes going wide over her pet nearly becoming someone's dinner. "He's a pet." She tilted her head. "Oh, um..." he took a moment to try and think of a way to explain. "A pet is... an animal that you... love? Love. Yeah. And um... they are like a friend. They help you out like... well Boggy helps Adaine not get upset and Baxter," he said, pointing to the griffin, "he can fly and stuff." God he was bad at this.

Somehow, she seemed to get the message. She put her hand on top of the frog. He croaked happily. She looked over at Riz and back at Boggy, the corners of her mouth tilted up slightly. She then started 'petting' the frog. At least, that's what Riz thought she was doing as she repeatedly slapped the frog's back. Boggy didn't seem to mind the rough treatment though, his body squishing and wiggling with the movement. Her eyes sparkled. A little sound escaped from her. It was rough and quiet, but it was without a doubt a giggle. Riz wondered if it was possible to die from cute.

The child stoped in the middle of a 'pet' and scrunched her face in concentration before going back to abusing Boggy. Sandra Lynn and Cathilda hummed in the background like they knew something the others didn't. "Did you remember to put her in pull ups?" Sandra Lynn asked.

"Um... no?" Adaine answered back, a bit confused. Riz however had already connected the dots.

"Well then," Cathilda said, "it's a good thing ya have prestidigatation dear because otherwise that would be a proper mess!"

They looked down at the muddy spot forming on the ground, quickly followed by a very distinct smell.

"Welcome to potty training kids!" Sandra Lynn yelled. She was enjoying this entirely too much.

*****

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