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rayshippouuchiha · 5 years

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I came out of Endgame with tears in my eyes and my heart filled up to the brim with absolute seething rage.

Even as I write this now my hands shake with some sick mixture of sadness, rage, and bitter disappointment.

So I preface this by saying that I am emotionally compromised and some of my views might shift with time and distance.

But, for better or for worse, this is my first rage flushed take:

I am so disappointed and so angry that after all of the tension, all of the build, all of the time and sweat and tears, all of the loyalty, we were rewarded with this.

Endgame had its high points, I’m not saying that it didn’t. There were some genuinely funny moments and some heart rending ones as well.

Every single second Tony Stark was on screen was flawless as always. Robert Downey Jr. once again proved why he and he alone was suited for the role of Tony Stark and the task of carrying the majority of the MCU for the past 10+ years.

That’s not to say that the rest of the cast wasn’t good. All of the actors all obviously brought their A game and then some when they were allowed to by what I loosely call a script.

So yeah, there were some highs.

But when its comes to Endgame’s low points?

Its low points were subterranean.

They lowered the bar and then they dug underneath it.

Again I’m writing this basically fresh from the theater and with my emotions still high so do forgive me if this is a bit jumbled around or if I ramble a bit as I cover some of the real issues I had with the film.

So, first thing to address was the overall tone of the film.

For this to be the much glorified Endgame, the “battle of our lives”, there was, in my opinion, a distinct lack of true tension in this film. Instead of a fraught, nail biting, tension filled ride, Endgame is more of a ... brisk jog through some vaguely sticky situations.

Instead of playing the story straight and giving the situation the gravity it deserved, the narrative went out of its way to put humor that served no other purpose than to ruin what tension had been previously built. And, in my opinion, the tone of the film suffered for it.

The humor and jokes were humorous, I’m not saying they wasn’t. I genuinely laughed out loud in the moment. But I also feel that, with the majority of the comedy that was wedged into the narrative, the film suffered for it.

Now let’s move on a bit to the actual plot of the film. Again, forgive me if I bounce a bit:

Jeremy Renner was breathtakingly heartbreaking as Clint Barton. Renner was finally allowed to stretch his legs a bit in this film and he proved that, had he been given the chance, he would have given us a Clint Barton to take our breath away.

Watching with Clint as his family died helped to set what should have been the tone for the majority of the film from there on while reminding us of just what was lost and just what was at stake all at the same time.

Chris Evans brought heart to his portrayal of a Steve Rogers who seems both lighter and more weighted down in this film than ever before.

Scarlett Johansson’s Natasha finally showed more emotion than “head tilt”, “lip purse”, and “arched brow” and it was beautiful.

The brief flash of friendship and affection between Nebula and Tony was perfect and heartwarming as well. Nebula was magnificent as the “feral space cat desperately in need of softness and a friendly hand” when placed side by side with a slowly withering Tony Stark who is, even at his lowest moments, still kind to this alien cyborg he doesn’t know but to who he owes his life. They flowed together with an onscreen chemistry in their few moments side by side that felt organic and aching.

Together Tony and Nebula embodied a truly important life/plot point of “meet kindness with kindness and kindness will be your reward”.

Moving forward in time hearing Tony vent his anger and his pain and his distrust at Steve was cathartic in a lot of ways.

As was watching Tony rip the arc reactor from his chest and slap it into Steve’s hand.

In this moment Tony is handing Steve his metaphorical broken heart and leaving someone else to, for once, try and pick up the pieces.

But then, unfortunately, things go rather steeply down hill from there.

With Tony out for the count in a hospital bed the others hunt down and execute Thanos with basically a hand wave and all hope for the stones is lost.

Until deus ex rat-ina unleashes Scott Lang from the quantum realm and the logic of the film takes a sharp left turn.

Scott Lang was missing for 5 years.

To him it was 5 hours.

To which I say, why did Janet van Dyne, age during her stay in the quantum realm? If, according to the MCU canon, every year in our world was roughly only an hour for Scott Lang, then why didn’t Janet come out of the quantum realm only 30 hours older instead of 30 years?

I feel like the answer is probably “because” but yeah maybe I’m just fuzzy on my Ant Man so if I’m wrong then just ignore that bit please.

Also, just a side note, I adore how it’s been 5 years, Wakanda is very much an ally and still up and running, and yet Rhodey still don’t have working legs. But alas, racism.

Moving on.

So with the main villain dead and Tony Stark having solved time travel in his living room, because I stan legends only, we’re now subjected, and that is the very word I’d use to describe what happens next, to what is called a Time Heist.

Cute.

Also Bruce Banner and Hulk have now merged Steven Universe style despite Hulk being scared green-less 5 years ago. But that’s all good, Bruce smoked a ton of weed, they meditated, went on a cleanse or whatever.

Either way Bruce finally did that character development that everyone had been shouting at him since Avengers 2012 and accepted Hulk as part of him and they’re now Dr. Hulk which was … something that happened?

A thing that they chose to do. The direction in which they set their narrative wheels and then powered full steam ahead and plowed us right over in the process.

But yeah, Time Heist! That’s the way to go, the only way apparently.

Because going back in time to stop the Snappening isn’t an option due to reasons that are explained and still look and feel paper thin but probably just honestly boils down to “Russos”

Our intrepid heroes will now split up and surf through time Bill and Ted style to collect the Stones from different points in history.

Yay.

So the rest of the film is basically that, a big old jewel hunt through space and history where the Russos attempt to fool us into thinking their plot points are cohesive and cool by donkey punching us repeatedly in our nostalgia-sacks.

We’re treated to, in no particular order, such hits as:

“Ah 2012 and the invasion of New York only not as interesting but Tony Stark is very much an ass man, but then we been done known that.”

“The Ancient One and her still very distracting skull vein coming at you right now”

“LOKI YOU LITTLE SHIT”

“The one time I envied Scott Lang because, for a split second, he got to be inside Tony Stark”

“Let’s watch Tony Stark simultaneous take a Hulk to the face and have a small cardiac event all at the same time but from different angles”

And let us not forget

“Tee Hee Hee us white bois just had to find a way to make sure Captain America say “Hail HYDRA” but it was for “spy reasons” so weren’t we clever???????”

Yeah boys, great job.

So edgy.

(Although as a side note I do agree, Steve Roger’s ass really is America’s ass and I’d like to thank him for that. Personally.)

But then, of course, Endgame would not have been complete without:

“Steve Rogers stares longingly and creepily at Peggy Carter from behind a window, further backing up his one defining character trait in the MCU which is the inability to move on. Also she doesn’t look up at all despite being a trained spy and all around badass who probably should have noticed the 6 foot slab of American Beef staring at her from less than a foot away, dark room or no dark room.”

And then my personal favorite:

“Tony Stark sees Howard Stark, the father he described as “calculating, cold, he never told me he was proud of me, never even told me he loved me” but it’s all good cause Tony’s a dad now so looking back all he sees are the good times with his emotionally neglectful and abusive father who says there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his unborn kid and now they awkwardly hug while I try not to scream “FOOTAGE NOT FUCKING FOUND HOWARD AND NO THAT ONE 3 MINUTE VIDEO DOESN’T COUNT YOU SHIT” at the screen and explode in pure rage.”

Joy.

Truly a scene that was necessary and fit the narrative of Howard Stark’s personality and was needed for Tony to uh get closure or grow as a man and a father or something …

It totally wasn’t yet another excuse to give a canonically abusive father screen time in a way that seems genial and sweet in an attempt to give them a bit of redemption that they neither earned nor deserve.

But yeah, whatever, moving on.

Also Rhodey remains an absolute gem and he and Nebula get shit done.

Only oops, not so fast.

Because apparently the only one who is going to run into the whole “two of you can’t exist in one place at one time without consequences” rule is Nebula who, despite her bitchin orange stripe/badge of character development, managed to like synch up with her past self?

Because she didn’t turn her bluetooth/quantum entanglement function off I guess.

Either way Orange Stripe Nebula, O’Snebula as I call her, has accidentally air dropped all her files into OG Nebula’s mental iPhone.

So yeah now big old Past Grimace knows what’s up.

Ooops??

So shit goes down and then Past Grimace is like “you need to Trogan horse this shit, least favorite daughter” so OG Nebula does because “daddy issues”.

Dr. Hulk puts on the gauntlet and Kentucky fires his arm bringing all the people lost in the Snappening back to life now, 5 years after they got dusted.

Which is … honestly a recipe for disaster in so many ways. What about the people, like the guy in Steve’s support group, who have started to move on?

What about the people who have remarried, have built new lives?

All of that’s ruined now.

It’s fantastic all those people are alive again but jobs, housing, food, healthcare, government, all of it is back in massive disarray across the universe.

And bringing those people back does nothing to bring back the people who didn’t die in the Snappening but died from causality instead. All the deaths caused by suicides, by car/bus/train/plane/ship/etc crashes, by a lack of first responders, by the civil/world/interplanetary wars that probably raged across the universe due to entire governments disappearing?

All of those people are still dead.

The Snappening killed half of all life in the universe. Causality probably killed another good ¼ after that.

And Dr. Hulk’s Un-Snappening saves none of them.

This isn’t a true solution, it’s a shitty band-aid.

But yeah, Russos so….

Moving on.

Yadda Yadda Yadda, plot plot plot. OG Nebula goes undercover, Past Grimace ends up in the future, there’s some fighting (which was admittedly BAD ASS), shit happens, and Tony saves the day like we all knew he would.

YAY!

Despite the massive rambling up above I’m not gonna plot out the entire movie right here though a lot will probably get covered coming up because here’s where I get down and start talking about the various character arcs too.

Because what a wild fucking ride those were.

Okay to take it from the top Scott Lang’s arc was fine. Beyond my questions about the quantum realm his was clear cut and fine although I do wonder at his luck at being, apparently, the only Scott Lang in San Fran to go missing. Well either that or he was staring at some other Scott Lang’s name instead of his own and in that case “awkward”.

Bruce’s arc was … look I could have done without all of the cringy Dr. Hulk stuff that they played up for laughs. If they were gonna brush Hulk being terrified under the rug they could have found a better way to do it besides just erasing the duality between Hulk and Banner with a hand wave.

But yeah, Russos.

Carol Danvers was beautiful and magnificent and completely brushed aside. Yes she was out in the universe handling shit, yes I know they did that so they could focus on the core Avengers, etc etc etc.

But it’s a damn shame that Carol Danvers, and her glorious haircut, was reduced to being the sorely needed and totally badass cavalry and last minute ace in the hole when she should have, logically, been a part of the vanguard. Honestly I have thoughts on why Carol’s entire character should have been saved completely for the next phase of the MCU instead of introduced so late in this one but I digress.

O’Snebula was a perfect shining bionic light and I love her.

Gamora is now alive in the future but at what cost? Not that her life isn’t worth something on its own, it totally is and she deserved the loophole resurrection 10000%.

Shit’s gonna be awkward though cause she doesn’t love Quill, she doesn’t love the Guardians, doesn’t really know O’Snebula or the universe she’s been thrown into. She doesn’t have the memories or the experiences or the character growth and even if she does go back to her family she’ll never be the same person.

Now her and Quill’s relationship, if they ever have one again, will be reduced down to Quill going “you fell in love with me once you could do it again despite us no longer having the shared experiences that bonded us together”. Same can be said for the rest of the Guardians as well.

Guess we all know what the plot of GotG 3 is gonna be about.

And that brings us to the story lines that really and truly upset me.

Which is basically all the rest of them.

Natasha/Clint’s combined story-line, Thor’s everything, Steve’s … Steve, and then finally Tony.

Now the Natasha/Clint story-line started out promising.

Clint’s rage and pain was obvious, his heartbreak poignant. His decision to use all of those to cut a bloody swathe through the criminal underworld was both Dramatic(™) and understandable.

Natasha’s love and grief for him, her desperate attempts to hold onto what she has left by throwing herself into her new job, was a perfect demonstration that Natasha Romanoff is very much not a robot. She was exhausted, frayed at the edges, and she had tears in her eyes, over Clint. And then she pulled herself together, slipped her mask back on, and pushed her way forward. This was all excellent.

It was also a nice narrative callback/parallel to have Natasha be the one to go out and bring Clint in from the cold.

Natasha plays touch stone, plays stability, for Clint and for many of the others. For the first time Natasha is truly portrayed as a person all the way down to the core instead of some witty quips in a catsuit. Plus her eyebrows finally came back from the war and her hair looked good again. So there was that.

Clint and Natasha’s arc comes to a climax on Vormir as they search for the Soul Stone and Red Skull, the Nazi cockroach that he is, gives them the same spiel he gave Thanos.

To get the Soul Stone you must give up the life of the one you love the most. A soul for a soul.

Narrative wise this is consistent, we all knew this would happen as soon as they started searching for the Stones again. It was obvious.

It was also obvious that Clint was the perfect sacrifice.

He’s got nothing left, his family is dead, he’s already lost the people he loves the most, he’s spent five years being a borderline monster.

And he is also, without a doubt, the thing that Natasha loves the most.

Clint was ready and willing to go, ready to die for the blood on his hands, ready to sacrifice himself for the chance that his family would be saved.

Ready to lay down on the wire and let Natasha walk over him for the sake of everything.

Clint dying made sense, was narratively sound, and heartbreaking.

All of which are only a few of the reasons why Natasha’s death was such a goddamn betrayal.

Instead of following along with the narratively sound death of Clint Barton, an Avenger that’s been ignored for most of the films as is, the Russo brothers instead chose to fridge Natasha.

Clint dying would have been the perfect mirror to Gamora’s death.

Gamora was a daughter unwillingly sacrificed by her father to destroy half of all life in the universe.

Clint would have been a father willingly sacrificed by a friend to save half of all life in the universe, his own sons and daughter included.

But no, we didn’t get that, instead we got a gratuitous scene of Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, splayed angel like and bloody on the rocks below.

Instead they fridged the Black Widow, the only woman of the original Big Six, because they couldn’t bring themselves to fridge a man.

So Clint gets the Soul Stone.

Such a fitting end for the Black Widow right? Dying in a man’s place, mourned on screen by a circle of men, but ultimately set aside rather quickly.

I understand why Natasha wanted to be the one to go, I understand that she didn’t want Clint’s family to lose their husband/father and that her true family was the Avengers. I get that. It doesn’t mean I enjoy or agree with the decision they made any more.

It doesn’t make me any less tired of watching female characters die for the sake of men and their families.

Natasha Romanoff sacrificed herself for the universe and her family and that deserves respect even if I absolutely hate it as a narrative choice.

Oh and what about the absolute NERVE of the Russos to have that awesome Lady Power Battle Strut happen but only after they killed Natasha, one of the Big Six?

Bitter? Me? Nooo.

Now, moving on to Thor.

Thor.

Oh my actual God, Thor.

The levels of disrespect Thor, Chris Hemsworth, and the fans were shown with this character arc/story-line in Endgame is breathtaking.

The absolute, shameless disrespect.

They turned Thor into a cowardly, drunken slob who has spent the last 5 years ignoring his responsibilities to what’s left of his people and instead has spent his time drinking, sulking, and literally yelling at kids over PSN??

Endgame’s Thor has the bullshit reasoning that he needs to stop trying to be who he thinks he should be and instead be who he is.

Which flies completely in the face of literally all of his character development from Thor all the way to Thor 3 and then Infinity War.

The entirety of Thor 3 was Thor’s hero’s journey culminating in him finally being the king he was always meant to be. Finally maturing and stepping forward to lead his people.

I am supposed to believe that Thor, depressed and guilty or not for not killing Thanos when he had the chance the first time, just abandoned his people like that?

I’m supposed to believe that Thor would piss all over everything the majority of his family and friends died for?

I’m supposed to believe that Heimdall, Loki, countless soldiers, and The Warrior’s Three and Lady Sif (I guess), all died to protect Asgard, died for the people and for Thor, and Thor just what? Turns his back on all of that to become a drunk?

No, Thor wouldn’t do that. Thor should have been down there beside Valkyrie working those fishing vessels when Bruce and Rocket came calling. If Thor had any hesitance to join them it should have been, “I can’t abandon my people, I am needed here.” He should have been fiercely guarding the tiny fraction of Asgard that’s left.

Thor’s depression and guilt was valid. Don’t mistake me on that. But they played it for jokes. They made him a caricature of depression, made him “gross” and incompetent and the butt of the jokes, and in the process diminished what should have been a painful and poignant arc for Thor.

Instead we got Big Lebowski Thor, bathrobe included, who does stand up and fight yes but, in the end, gives up his crown and just fucks off to space to have petty pissing competitions with Peter Quill so he can?? find himself?? despite finding himself in Ragnarok already???

Thor’s entire arc in Endgame was shallow, mishandled, and disrespectful to the character, to Chris Hemsworth, and to the fans.

You, we, he, all deserved better than this.

Now we get to Steve.

Steve Rogers, Captain America himself.

I’ve had a lot of salt about Steve’s character and actions in the MCU but, all of that aside, he deserved so much more than what the Russo’s did to him in Endgame.

Hell he’s deserved so much more than what’s been done to him since post-CA:TFA.

But this is about Endgame specifically soooo….

Steve’s shown leading a support group in the beginning of Endgame, is shown talking about moving on and moving forward and learning to let go. Which is wonderful. It sounds like the exact character development we’ve all been waiting for for Steve.

Which is, of course, the exact moment when Steve goes “nah just kidding, we don’t ever move on”.

Which, given the circumstances, is pretty fair. If Steve was only thinking/talking about Thanos and the events of Infinity War.

But of course he wasn’t.

CA:CW should have been the end of the Peggy Carter saga for Steve. He mourned her, he was finally moving forward, he’d kissed Sharon, he threw everything away to save Bucky, he gave up his shield, etc etc.

But no. Endgame finds him right back there, clutching that goddamn compass, and making moon eyes at a woman who we all thought went on and lived a life without him, got married, had kids, and generally existed outside of Steve Rogers.

But no. The Russo’s had to take that away from us too.

And yes yes I know I know multiverse or whatever but still.

Steve steamrolls his way through Endgame with skill and determination. He picks up Thor’s hammer, finally worthy, which how??? Why??? (perhaps because he’s no longer keeping secrets??? Or maybe that’s just my salt talking? Who knows? Not me?)

And then he fights Thanos head to head.

(Although him wielding the hammer brought up an entire separate set of issues cause I’m pretty sure Mjolnir doesn’t actually summon lightning. Ragnarok pretty much said that the lightning has always been within Thor. Mjolnir was just a control accessory. But, you know, Russos *jazzhands*)

And then, in the end, he insists on returning the Stones on his own.

Only he doesn’t come back like he was supposed to.

Instead we’re given old Steve Rogers.

Because Steve returned the Stones and then ….went and found Peggy Carter and got married and lived an entire life with her ignoring everything he would have known was going to happen to her and around the both of them or something???

Or maybe not if the multiverse thing holds up but then who knows any more???

But then how did Old Steve end up right there by that lake on that day at that right time if he’s technically from a different multiverse???

Either way Sam gets his shield and the mantle of Captain America, which was fantastic, and Bucky more than likely knew Steve’s plan all along but the best read I really got on him was basically “eh” so he might well have been happy for Steve too.

But still, instead of finally achieving peace and continuing to learn to live in the future with Bucky and Sam and the remnants of the Avengers, his family and the life he’s built there over the past years, instead of putting the shield down because he’s learned to let go in the now, Steve only puts the shield down because he chooses the past.

He chooses the past over all of that and all of the people left who love him. Sure the argument could be said that he knew they’d be alright but still.

There is a deep well of dissatisfaction inside of me as to how Steve’s entire ending arc was handled. Why did peace only come to Steve after Tony and Natasha were both dead and then was only found in the past?

No disrespect to Peggy Carter, I adore her, but were the relationships he had in the future worth so little that the past was the only place he could find happiness? A past with a woman that he knows loved him but still moved on and found happiness outside of him, lived a full and happy life without him?

Steve didn’t get a character arc so much as he got a character circle. A character loop. He went right back to where he started.

Endgame erases all of the character development Steve underwent post-Avengers. Just brushes it all under the rug.

The Russo’s stole the character development Steve Rogers spent a decade undergoing to give him their version of a happy ending.

They robbed him and us both of every bit of growth and forward motion Steve has underwent and I will never forgive them for that.

And now we get to Tony Stark.

Anthony Edward Stark.

The Iron Man.

Tony’s arc is, was, the longest and best developed arc in the entirety of the MCU.

It’s spanned 10+ years and has been nurtured and hand fed by Robert Downey Jr.

If Endgame got one thing right, one thing at all, it’s how they handled the majority of Tony’s arc.

From him laying the smack down on Steve once he was home, finally venting his emotions and his anger, all the way to him solving time travel before tucking his kid into bed, and then building an Infinity Gauntlet on his own even though Thanos committed genocide to get the one he had.

Tony Stark’s arc was glorious and expected and sad.

I think that my one almost complaint is that Tony stopped for 5 years. On one hand he deserved the rest, deserved the chance to find happiness. He was hurt and tired and he’d faced his demons and been left bleeding out with the death of half the universe weighing on his shoulders.

He deserved to just stop for a while.

On the other hand stopping is not something Tony has ever been good at, just like Pepper said. A part of me thought Tony would be working, frantically, to find something, anything, to turn back the hands of time. To track Thanos down. To get the Stones and then to get everything else back.

To get Peter and all of the others back.

But that’s not the route they went and I’m … okay? I guess, with that.

Tony was validated and vindicated and everyone would have finally listened to him. It only took the death of half of the universe to do it. But he was too tired, too hurt and untrusting to keep pushing. I can respect that.

But of course once an idea worms its way inside Tony can’t let it go. So he solves time travel on the fly and sets out to save the world.

Again.

His one stipulation is that he will do anything, everything, he has to in order to keep what he has now. His wife Pepper and Morgan, his sweet little daughter.

So of course he doesn’t get to do that either.

After all of the blood, sweat, suffering, and mental illnesses, Tony doesn’t get his happy ending. Not really.

He gets to rest, yes, but he loses out on everything he wanted to do with his kid. In the process of saving the universe he becomes the one thing he never wanted to be for Morgan, a distant father.

A face on a screen, stories, memories other people have.

No matter how many holograms or inventions or whatever Tony left to Morgan, it’ll never replace him.

Morgan got 5 years with her father. She’ll spend the rest of her life hearing stories about him, about how much of a hero he was. And hopefully, with Pepper and all the others behind her, Tony will remain a hero to her and will not, instead, become her version of Captain America. An untouchable symbol that Morgan will never live up to.

So, in the end, Tony sacrifices once again.

Watches the future he wanted crumble to dust in his fingers, lightning scorching him from the inside out as infinity rips him apart.

And he dies there, surrounded by some of the people who love him best.

His best friend.

His wife.

The son he almost had.

And, despite all of that, it is very very fitting that his death was at his own hands.

Thanos could take out half the universe, he could traverse time and space, he could humble Thor, terrorize the Hulk, rip Steve Roger’s up, survive shield and hammer and so much more, but the one thing he couldn’t do?

He couldn’t kill Tony Stark.

The only thing that could kill Iron Man, could kill Tony Stark, was his own heart.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones in hand knowing how this is going to end, knowing that Stephen Strange set him on this path years ago.

Because didn’t Strange warn him? Didn’t Strange tell him outright “I’ll let the kid and you both die to protect the Time Stone”?

Tony just never expected it to take a few hours and then 5 more years for Strange’s promise to finally be fulfilled.

So Tony does it knowing that after everything he’s been through, all of the pain and the suffering and the battles, it was only enough to have earned 5 years of happiness, 5 years of his dream.

5 years of being the father he always swore he’d be.

Tony Stark takes the Infinity Stones and dies for the entire universe, for his family, for his daughter. Dies knowing that he’ll be doing the one thing he didn’t want to do, swore he would never do.

Leaving them behind.

Tony Stark brings us full circle as he stands as both equal and mirror of Thanos once again.

Man to Titan. Good Father to Bad Father. Life to Death.

Tony Stark picks up the weight of the universe and then he dies making sure that it has a future free from the same fear that has haunted him for a decade.

A warm light for all mankind, sent to sleep, to rest, knowing that finally everything will be okay.

And all he had to do was die for it.

So, I’ll close this out saying this:

This was written in one solid push after my first viewing and Endgame was dissatisfying for me as you might have guessed. I am disappointed and angry at so much they chose to do to end out this iconic decade of cinema and to close out these character’s arcs.

There were a lot of points and little details I didn’t get to cover in this and perhaps a lot of points you might not agree with me on.

That’s okay.

Because, no matter what, there is one thing I know for sure.

We, I, will always have Tony Stark and the lessons he taught me. The pain he endured and shared with all of us. The bravery and strength he inspired in so many of us as we watched him struggle with physical and mental illnesses on screen. As we watched him obsess and stress and love and grow.

I have never loved a character more than I love Tony Stark.

I have never been impacted by a character as much as I have been by Tony Stark.

I’m not sure if I ever will again.

So, Tony Stark is Iron Man.

He always will be.

And he saved more than just some fictional universe.

He saved a lot of us along the way too.

And we’ll always love him for that.

#MCU wank #Avengers Endgame #avengers 4 #Avengers #Endgame #A:4

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ubcs-dump · 5 years

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People will hate me for this but

I do NOT like some of the character designs in the RE3 Remake. Call me a nostalgic baby but I absolutely love most designs from the original RE3. I grew up with these characters. They hold an extremely special place in my heart, ESPECIALLY Mikhail. But before I lose myself and talk myself into a mess, let me just rate every chacter’s design to get a bit more of a structure into this (DISCLAMER, I WILL BE EXTREMELY HONEST WITH MY OPINION, AND I AM NOT SAYING YOU SUCK FOR LIKING THESE DESIGNS, I’M GLAD YOU CAN ENJOY IT BUT I JUST CAN’T):

JILL VALENTINE

So. I‘m actually okay with that design. I like the changes they did to her outfit, this makes a lot more sense than her running around like the zombie apocalypse caught her off guard while clubbing. Her face did change quite a bit and I am still not sure if I like it or not. Tl;dr I’m fine with the design in general.

CARLOS OLIVEIRA

Okay now THIS ONE. THIS ONE actually physically hurts me. While they at least tried to stick close to the original design with Jill, Carlos took a whole 180 turn. First of all, does Capcom even know what a 21 year old looks like? This dude looks like he is in his late 20s. But age aside, what have they done to his design in general? Nothing about him says “Carlos Oliveira” to me. He might as well be some random OC they picked out from the internet. Something I absolutely love about the original Carlos are his hair and his skin tone. He is a POC but I can’t see any of that in this design (ORC white-washed him too and I was furious about that as well). Speaking of which, why is Carlos a character that gets extremely redesigned in every single game? I showed this model to multiple people and when I said “This is Carlos Oliveira” they all thought I was joking. Tl;dr Not fond of this at all. I want my cute jokester Carlos back. And No, his “pre-order classic design” is not classic at all. He looks weird in that too. (Also what’s with the extreme redesign of the UBCS outfit?)

NIKOLAI ZINOVIEV

It’s interesting how while Carlos designs seem to get worse, Nikolai is either improved or stays pretty much the same. I absolutely loved his design in ORC. That scar and his constant down-looking gaze, not to mention that sexy voice (remember, this is my opinion only). I really really wished they would have used his ORC design and just changed it up a bit to fit the better graphics. In this he just looks like my dad but with grey hair and lighter skin. Also they didn’t bring back the “Mikhail and Nikolai were supposed to be brothers” thing which would have been awesome but this is Capcom and we can’t have nice things. Tl;dr It’s okay but could have been way better. (New UBCS design still sucks)

MIKHAIL VICTOR

*Deep inhale* *Deep exhale* Why? Why does he look like Bill from Left 4 Dead? I’m not joking, look at them side by side. They look like twins. This is the model that made me break down in tears, I am not joking. Mikhail has always been my favorite character, he had a much bigger impact on my life than you might think. He is not just the name giver for my pen name (Uby Victor) but he has been a sort of mascot for my DeviantArt and YouTube accounts as well. You could say the original Mikhail is my role model. And then I saw this and absolutely lost it. Nothing about this looks or sounds like Mikhail. In the original he was so wounded he couldn’t even talk properly from the pain, which made him even more badass when he actually managed to get up and fight back with all he got left. But here is just hanging around with surfer boy-Carlos and Jill like it’s nothing. Just sitting there, calmly talking about what happened. In the original he is supposed to be one of the reasons the characters wanted to hurry up and get out of town as much as possible, because he is on the verge of pretty much dying. I could probably rant for way longer than this because I am absolutely livid they changed him so extremely but I don’t want to write too much. Tl;dr I absolutely hate this model and will stick with the original because that is the character I love and look up to.

MURPHY SEEKER

You know, I am actually fine with this model. He looks almost exactly like how I imagined him look like. I’d probably give him a tuft of hair sticking out of the hat because his forehead looks massive. Plus change the outfit to the old UBCS gear, FOR ALL OF THEM! But other than that he looks cute. (Although why is it Jill who finds him? It had a much bigger impact when Carlos had to kill him because they were best friends and that helped develop Carlos as a character). Tl;dr I like it. I would want to be friends with him.

TYRELL PATRICK

I’m pretty indifferent about this. I admit that Tyrells old model was very offensive (what with the big lips and such). This model I don’t really mind but since we only see it in the dark, I can’t yet give a full opinion on it. At least they let him keep his glasses and did not white-wash him or anything. But still, that new UBCS ouftit, I do not like. Why are he and Carlos together though? Aren’t they supposed to be in totally different platoons (plus Tyrell is a monitor)? Tl;dr it’s okay I suppose but I can’t give my full opinion because I can barely see him.

BRAD VICKERS

Hmmmmmmmm. Brad, oh Brad, what am I supposed to say about you. He used to be my second favorite character and I remember writing fanfiction about him and my RE OC almost 10 years ago. They kept his original outfit, which I am very thankful for. He also seems to be more involved in the story and that is great imo. But something just seems off with his face. In the original he looked pale as if he was in a constant 24/7 panic attack (which suits his character and is pretty relateable I might add) but in here something just seems... off? I don’t know if it’s the shape of his face or the fact he seemed to have gained a bit of weight (which is NOT A BAD THING, don’t get me wrong!) but I don’t really know if I like it or not. Tl;dr I take it I guess.

NEMESIS

I gotta admit, when I saw that nose I started laughing out loud. It just looks goofy to me. And those teeth man. Nemmy, who’s your dentist at Umbrella? I guess it’s no surprised I prefer the original by a long shot. The old Nemesis on the box art was so scary to me as a kid, I had to hide it in the far far end of my family’s game shelve because I was too creeped out to even look at him with his sharp teeth, noseless face and dead but intimidating eye glaring at me. This new one is certainly creepy to some extent but the OG is way better in my opinion. Tl;dr not my thing. Also what’s with those pipes? Are they trying to fight the tentacle-lovers side of the internet and prevent them from using Nemesis any longer?

BONUS

Capcom, stop trying to modernize this game, especially in regards to the UBCS outfit and the weapons they carry. RE3 is supposed to take place in 1999. You don’t have to make it look like some futuristic zombie apocalypse to draw in people. That also goes for the cable car, oh sorry, SUBWAY as it is in this game. What’s wrong with the cable car? Yeah sure it’s pretty outdated by todays standpoint but, again RE3 TAKES PLACE IN 1999 when cable cars were common! Just making the original again but with much much better graphics and the new controls would have been enough already in my opinion.

Anyways, these are my opinions on the RE3 REMAKE so far. Thanks for reading and remember, these are my opinions. If you don’t agree with me, that’s totally fine!

Special thanks to @therealorigonalguppieniwa and @ubcsmercenary for pointing stuff out for me and discussing my opinions with me.

#Resident Evil #Resident evil 3 #Resident evil 3 remake #jill valentine #carlos oliveira #Nikolai zinoviev #Mikhail victor #Murphy seeker #tyrell patrick #brad vickers #nemesis #long post #ubyspeaks

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bunny-banana · 5 years

Note

I'd love to hear a director's commentary on La leggenda di Niccolo please :D Have a star as well ⭐

HA! Okay well, I’ll talk about the sections that I actually wrote so here it comes:

Chap 1

Engulfed in the never ending masses of water, he reckoned one should feel intimidated. No ground under his feet, only limited amounts of air to his disposal, and the uncertainty of what lies within the darker corners of the ocean should normally frighten you. And yet, he never felt more at peace than when he was floating so freely in the sea, almost as if gravity and the world outside didn’t exist

the fucking IRONY of me writing this while being deadly afraid of deep water. its honestly like “yeah,,,,, lemme list all the things i personally hate about deep sea…. and lets add ‘well, but theres something good too about that for sure,,,i guess,,,, ”

But what was more important for me was this contrast to what Ermal dreams about, his lowkey fantasy - and where he is irl, the icy south pole. I’m rather fond of opposing things/contrasts.

The soldier breathed heavily in and out, but there was no time to rest as the next blaze of fire was aimed at him.He countered and evaded but his opponent was more forceful, his flames harsher, faster until the soldier’s back hit the cold railing. He was caught, and when his opponent mercilessly stroke once more, he knew he had to save himself by escaping into the cold water.The man remaining on the top deck smirked. Ah yes, he’d almost assume those new soldiers were just too easy to take on even if only for practice reasons, but it pleased him more to say that he still got it.

i really hope this introduction just tells you everything you need to know about Renga’s character.

How much sooner the war could have been won had it not been for the Poles!

While actually reflecting on the universe, i realised, it must be incredibly difficult for firebenders on the poles. like, I just assume they really, really arent fit for the cold which would make invading incredibly difficult for them. also lol, renga hates it at the poles obviously.

Shaking so hard that kids ran towards their mothers and the watchtower fell over and when the fog cleared up, Ermal felt his stomach drop. ”No.”

Nothing, absolutely, nothing in that universe is more frightening than seeing the Fire Nation military pull up to your doorstep.

Also, lmao, love to imagine Rinald quietly going “oh nooo my watchtower D:”

Ermal pushed himself through the crowd until he was right in front of everyone, until he was the last barrier between the Fire Nation soldiers and the village.

Ermal has Strong Opinions™ about the Fire Nation, with reasons of course, and seeing them here is the absolute nightmare to him.

“You mean the Avatar that disappeared off the face of the Earth? The one that nobody has ever seen and that was probably never even reborn? That Avatar?”And if his cockiness gave off a certain invitation to smash his face in, then this was perhaps a little bit Ermal’s fault.

to quote the Smiths: Bigmouth Strikes Again!

“B-but he’s- he’s so young? I swear to the Fire Lord, if this is yet another trick then-”

Chap 2

Niccolò had always been in awe of the Fire Nation’s advanced industrial sector. The machinery that originated from the Nation had always had cutting edge quality which no one in the world could quite imitate nor match. This ship however was beyond anything Niccolò had ever seen. This ship was fully steam-driven with the powerful motors roaring under his feet. And those weren’t the only novelties.Steel processed so professionally that it makes impenetrable walls and doors which opened and closed only through quite sophisticated lock mechanisms. It all looked so modern, it all looked so futuristic.

so the idea was, since Nic had missed an entire century, the ship looked super modern to him. while its a canon fact that the FN is quite advanced with machinery, the ship itself is just to an up-to-date standard. But to Niccolo personally it seemed futuristic. i like the idea of him being amazed at things he has never seen in his life just to find out they’re pretty common in the current timeline.

There was not much time left, Niccolò had to think quickly. Extremely convenient how his nose started tickling right in that moment.The powerful sneeze that followed had two consequences: One, the guard in front of him was catapulted straight into the metal door of the cell, rendering him unconscious.Two, Niccolò and the guard behind him were also forcefully pushed back to the other end of the corridor, crashing into the hard wall.Well, at least the guard did. The young airbender was spared that fate, by that nice pillow the guard turned out to be, so he quickly got onto his feet and ran as fast as he could with his hands tied behind his back.

so yeah ngl, this was just copied from the OG ep

Now that his hands were freed, he opened the first door that presented itself to him, but in front of him, he simply saw the quarters of General Renga who stared at his now roaming prisoner in shock. Okay, time to turn around, it seems.

listen, i just love the thought of overconfident General Renga being so shellshocked to see his prisoner escaping that he just gapes at him. And ofc Nic slamming the door shut immediately jsfkld

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Niccolò cursed as he evaded a burst of fire that was aimed at him before taking the next corner “Where’s the exit?! Where’s the goddamn exi- AH!! A DOOR!!” He pulled it open to reveal a startled guy sitting there just minding his own business. An unexpected sight, with an even more unexpected odor following. “Oh? uhm- Sorry man! Just- just take your time! Also, perhaps light a candle when you’re done. Bye!” The young Avatar swiftly apologised as he closed the door of what was most definitely not an exit.

Fav OC so far! That simple FN dude was just trying to take a dump in peace but who would have known that all hell would break lose and the goddamn Avatar of all people would walk into him smh. Also, I really enjoyed the thought of while this is all hectic and dangerous, Nic still being human enough to go like “oh, my bad! sorry dude!” at this random soldier. Who knows, maybe we should bring that one back some time later. And i kinda wanted the whole escape to be funny, since its Nic’s POV, and it just wouldnt suit his carefree spirit to make this super serious (yet).

“I’ll give you that, hiding for so long was sort of impressive.” Niccolò heard Renga’s voice behind him as the General had caught up with him.

almost wrote “century” there but then remembered nah omg he can’t know yet

A piece of ice may or may not have also hit Renga straight into the face but nobody would complain about that anyway.

yeah i just love the thought of this super dramatic scene of Nic entering the Avatar State and then theres a chunk of ice knocking Renga unconscious lmao get fucked, dude

“Nic!” Ermal ran towards the slowly decreasing water pillar to catch the unconscious airbender in the last second, dropping to his knees in the process. That was beyond anything anybody of that age should normally be capable of. That was beyond what any waterbender could ever be capable of. And yet, lying in his arms, Niccolò looked so exhausted, so weak. Just like any other kid. Not a trace from the sheer force that was unleashed moments earlier.

I think this was really the moment Ermal started feeling real responsibility over Niccolo. Just seeing him do all these crazy things and yet being reminded that this huge burden of being the Avatar is literally thrusted upon a simple kid. Also, this is the first time he called him “Nic”

Various noises and sounds buzzed through the air that afternoon: The loud shoveling of snow from the bow, the quieter crackling emerging from the hands of the firebenders who were melting their frozen compatriots, the fast steps rushing left and right over the ship. All these different sounds were heard, but none of them were chattering. Nobody dared to chat. Not after this disastrous defeat. What a disgrace that had been, General Renga thought grinding his teeth.

Everybody on this goddman ship is just scared shitless that Renga will roast them if they so much like whisper. they know he moody, they know he’ll blame them for the avatar’s escape. so lets all just work and repair shit and keep quite.

When he found consciousness again, he was left with not only one horrendous purple bruise on his face, but also with a half destroyed ship.

jdsfksajfklf OK SO YEAH, my first intention was “lmao let a piece of ice hit him” but then i realised “oh wait he’d have a bruise afterwards” and then “LMAOOOO he’d be like Zuko, how perfect is that” ok so granted, unlike our dear fire prince, Renga’s bruise is only temporary, but i really hoped someone would pick up the connection to Zuko

Whatever had happened to the Avatar earlier, it left a colossal mark on the ship, and secretly, on Renga personally too. He might have gotten fooled once, but he wouldn’t get fooled again.

basically, he feels personally insulted about being beaten by a kid. what a loser lmao

“Martino!”

“Y-yes, General?” stuttered the lanky assistant with the askew glasses, clenching his hands around his writing board. One would think you’d get used to Renga’s harsh tone over time, but that was simply not the case..

rip martino but renga absolutely needed a poor anxious assistant whom he could terrorise

“We need the best of the best to defeat him. And I just know the right choice for that job…”

heeeeheeee ….. no comment ..for now. but im curious to what you guys think about that

Thank you so much! this was a lot of fun to do ! :)

#ALLDN #my fics

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cobra-kai-never-dies · 5 years

Text

Okay, fuck it. I’m too catawampus to do anything but think about ‘Cobra Kai’ right now, so I guess I don’t care that the premiere is like six hours away because here is some final pre-watch babbling, anyway:

Returning cast- I still don’t care about seeing Mike Barnes or Ali or really anyone from TKK2. I’m down to see OG Cobras or Julie, if that Wikipedia listing is accurate. I wouldn’t mind seeing a toned-down Terry Silver, but his actor hasn’t been onscreen in over a decade.

Echoes from the past- I wondered for a long time how much paralleling season 2 could do with TKK2 when they are staying put in the Valley, but I’m convinced that will see some elements- although some will undoubtedly be twisted in that way I think might become strongly associated with CK. What put me onto this was the second teaser, where they bring back the drum & the scrolls & even a flashback from the second movie. And that made me look back on the first teaser. The context & severity & purpose is quite different, but what we have- again- is the Cobra Kai sensei berating & physically punishing his top students in the wake of the All Valley. We also know that we will be getting ice breaking (probably in front of a crowd), which is obviously associated with the second movie. So what further parallels might we see? Daniel’s line about “destruction & disrespect” when he storms into CK makes me think his dojo might be vandalized. I think I saw where someone had the same idea? It’s a reasonable one, IMO.

The soap opera romances- I’m assuming that there will be something going on between Samantha & Robby. He was obviously interested from the first time he saw her, & she wasn’t immune. She’ll also like that her dad already approves of him. If they do that whole song reprisal thing again, I think they’ll get ‘The Glory of Love’ in much the same way that Miguel & Sam got ‘Young Hearts’. I’m less certain of a thing between Miguel & Tory. I can see Miguel trying to make a go of it to get over Sam, but I’m not sure he’s a guy who will easily move on from a first love even when he wants to. It did look like Tory might be into him though, so his torch-carrying for Sam will be a problem for her if so. I truly sort of hate that Johnny is on something resembling a date with Carmen in that one clip, but it’s not because I don’t want Johnny to date Carmen. Hell, I want Johnny to marry Carmen. It’s just too soon. He’s still a mess, & he needs to get his shit together first. I think Hawk & Moon will break up, pushing Hawk closer yet to the edge. I’m sad about it. Daniel & Amanda may wind up struggling a bit with the shift in his focus, but NBD.

Johnny- He’s gonna struggle big time with Kreese being there, & that might eventually lead to two divided CK factions. It is my most fervent hope that he will- someday- get a chance to make Cobra Kai what he truly wants it to be. But before he can even begin to get there, he needs to face his demons.

Daniel- He’s gonna work on starting his dojo & hopefully eventually realize that he needs to chill with the competition angle because it’s undermining the whole concept of Miyagi-Do karate. I think that will happen- eventually. And he may waver. But I think that Daniel still knows in his heart that Johnny isn’t Kreese.

Kreese- He’s a freaking snake & will try to take over CK, even while we get a more nuanced portray of his philopsopy & motivations.

Miguel- He needs to find a balance between the sweet boy he was & the badass he is now. He needs to avoid letting Tory be a bad influence on him if they do get involved. He needs to be told about Robby. I think his connection with Johnny could lead to him questioning the whole Kreese situation. It’s obvious that Johnny isn’t comfortable with it, & Miguel will hopefully see that.

Robby- He needs to find a driving motivation that isn’t getting back at his dad. He’s on the right path, but he needs to make peace with that relationship one way or another.

Samantha- The appearance of a rival indicates that this will be a big season for Sam. Hopefully she matures. Samantha’s great flaw is that she lacks the courage of her convictions, so she winds up unintentionally hurting people when she should have their backs. I think that’s very believable, given her raising. She takes it easy because she’s always had it easy, but owning & growing out of that weakness will need to be a vital component of her character development if she’s going to be anything resembling a heroine.

Aisha- I guess she’s leading the class in jab punches. She may be taking the back burner this season because Yasmine has been defeated & the dojo war has to put a damper on her friendship with Samantha. Hopefully she’ll have something substantial to do next season.

Hawk- His path looks pretty dark right now. I’m gonna put the food court fight in episode 5 because I’m absolutely convinced that it’s basically going to serve as the flip-side to Miguel’s 1.5 cafeteria fight. Miguel won that fight & brought in droves of new recruits for CK. We can see in the trailers that Hawk & his buddies lose this fight in another public eating area. And given that CK is apparently raking in students & money, beating a highly-visible representative of that dojo- c’mon, who can miss Hawk’s hair?- has to be a boon for Miyagi-Do. He’s fighting with Demetri, but I also think there might be a issue with Miguel brewing. In the trailer, Hawk kicks Miguel into a tree. The Cobras are obviously doing a training exercise at that point, but... I remember something I once read about a highly competitive gym that trained Olympic athletes. One of the trainers there compared the athletes to scorpions in a can that would fight until only one was left. As I’ve said before, Miguel doesn’t seem to resent sharing Johnny’s time with other kids. But what if Hawk is stewing on his losses- the mall fight & possibly Moon? What if Kreese is like that Olympic trainer & pits the kids against each other in a struggle for supremacy? I can see that happening. And Miguel won’t be Kreese’s little dude so long as he’s Johnny’s little dude. But Hawk is obviously a different story.

Demetri- I still don’t love that Demetri is studying karate, but I’m also having a hard time imagining him becoming very good at it. Really, though- does everyone who studies karate have to become a black belt? Miyagi-Do does seem like a better fit for his personality. I’m assuming that he’s fighting with Hawk because he won’t accept who his old friend is now, which speaks to one of Demetri’s genuine strengths- the kid knows his own damn mind & isn’t easily convinced of much. I do wonder how his friendship with Miguel fares.

Tory- First off, I don’t see her being Ali’s kid. I’ve seen too many glamour shots of Peyton to not recognize how they’ve deliberately roughened up her edges for this role, & that probably wouldn’t be necessary if she were playing a surgeon’s daughter. I’m hoping she’s not just some kind of psychopath because I find that to be a boring-ass motivation, but I’m also just not sure how much context you can give to using a spiked bracelet as a weapon during a school fight. Did they tip their hand too soon with her? IDK. But if she isn’t a psycho, then what that tells me is this girl feels like she has nothing to lose in that moment. She is new to the Valley, and troubled. Where does she come from? I’ve been reading “wrong side of the tracks” since that first image of her. So, she goes to CK & learns of a rival dojo. This rival dojo has one girl, just like it’s meant to be. Samantha, like Tory, is a pretty girl who can fight- but then she has so much more going for her: her two adoring parents, her big beautiful house, the white BMW she was gifted the day she turned 16. And she has a cute boy- the All Valley champion & the runner-up, no less!- wrapped around each of her pink-nailed pinky fingers. Sam has known stability & privilege & comfort her entire life. And for a girl like Tory, that resentment could burn. It would probably amount to nothing, if not for the dojo war. But what could prompt such an attack on Samantha? I looked to TKK2 for a possible clue & found one. Might Tory be disowned- AKA kicked out of CK? Is she Chozen to Sam’s Daniel?

A fight to the death- And if so, maybe that fight is also flipped. I think that we all know something major will have to go down to make a team-up happen. Somebody may have to be hurt, & I think Samantha makes the most sense. She is Daniel’s daughter, possibly Robby’s girlfriend, & Miguel‘s ex. She isn’t really anyone in particular to Johnny, but he may need the least convincing. So say Samantha loses her fight with her Chozen & is seriously hurt. This idea bears an unfortunate resemblance to fridging, but I don’t think it counts because Sam is an active character in her own right & is fighting her own battle when this potentially happens. Random note- Peyton stated in an interview that her CK stunts included a huge fall, which I took to mean from a height. But she gave no context, so IDK. And actually, I’m not even sure Sam has to *lose* the fight so long as it’s sufficiently shocking to the others. Either way, I feel like whatever happens with Tory in the aftermath will provide a mechanism by which the other Cobras- particularly Hawk- may be saved.

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mysteli · 6 years

Text

es in vegas (choices crack-series) part 3

A/N: i finally got this chapter out! yay! this took me so goddamn long to get out and i honestly can’t tell you why. this story is a slow build up and i honestly feel like this chapter isn’t as funny as the other ones but i hope you still like it anyway

Warning: the best way to describe this is probably… mature? mainly of the content in it because if it’s just clean then it ain’t really Vegas. this series will feature implied nsfw but not really anything descriptive (mostly just mentions), exaggerations on use of alcohol, strong language and… crazy behaviour? It’s just weird and I’d proceed with caution…

P.S: this is probably the weirdest one yet and if it feels a little rushed im sorry

ALSO, anything in italic is a flashback from the night before

Disclaimer: most of the plot belongs to the Hangover and the characters belong to Pixelberry. I’m just mashing the two together.

Pairings: Jake X MC, Craig X Zahra, Diego X Vaaryn, Aleister X Grace - just the OG pairings for now but things could change ;) -

Tag list: @brightpinkpeppercorn@likethetailofacomet@xo-endlessmayhem-xo@sceptilemasterr@indiacater @chyeahboy@candychoices@zaffrenotes @nicknameking@bailey-choices@szeherezada @whatsernamerps@aries-light@endlessly-searching-for-you@justboredtrash@beckettsattunement@gerrysacushla @mind-reader1@sweet-honeybird@allykrane @seraxa@violarobics @princessstellaris @mechaspirit

extra tag for @abbiebishops

I tagged everyone who liked the post just in case! If you wanna be removed, just let me know!

Let me know if you wanna be tagged! 💗and let me know if the tags work because Tumblr is acting up.

Masterlist

Summary: Before the gang can go out searching for their missing friend, they must retrace their steps in order to fix the problems caused by Nevada.

Words: 8821

ENDLESS SUMMER IN VEGAS PART 3 - RING ON IT

Grace was right. They’re in deep shit. Truly. Really. They’re in a ditch they need to climb out of and that ditch is the aftermath of a night in Vegas. Trust when said that they definitely won’t be doing this again. Not after all this happened. Michelle and Sean getting married. Logan and Jake engaging in a threesome. Finding a tiger in the damn bathroom. And Vaaryn being missing.

The gang have formed a promise to find Vaaryn, otherwise Diego will not be happy. Maybe this could even be a misunderstanding and Vaaryn just left early to get food or something. Probably not though, judging by the luck of this group in the past. The worst of all luck. They always get the short end of the straw and now they have to fix all their problems and get the hell out of Vegas. Forever.

All of them have planned to get breakfast first before setting out to find Vaaryn. They even attempted to call him but were only welcomed by a questionable voicemail.

“This is the Vaanti King... I’m not human. I’m an alien, as Jake would say... I’m also drunk as Diego would say. And... we wasted!”

Guessing that was from last night. Yet another clue but it didn’t have much to give so the group just brushed past it.

Now there are things that need to be taken care of first and they could also help retrace the group’s steps in order to find Vaaryn. Jake needs to visit the nearest prison to see if he can get his handcuffs removed and Sean and Michelle need to first a chapel in order to get their marriage annulled. It’s been decided that half the group will visit the prison and the other half will visit the chapel. Fun times.

With everyone gathered around the breakfast table, food is being devoured and hangovers are spreading like wildfire.

“I still can’t believe this happened to us of all people.” Michelle points out, spreading butter on a piece of toast and rolling her hazel eyes while she complains.

“Are you kidding, Meech? Of course it would happen to us... it’s us.” Zahra corrects, her mouth full of food while she speaks.

Throughout her words, some of her food is spat out accidentally, scattering over to Quinn who is sat opposite Zahra. “Ew, Zahra. Don’t speak with your damn mouth full.”

“Whatever.” Zahra mutters, food still in her mouth.

“Seriously though guys... this is so fucking annoying. It’s harder when you can’t remember shit as well.” Sean mentions, facepalming hard and that leads to Jake scoffing mockingly.

“You can keep complaining all you want, Steve Rogers but just be thankful that you actually have the ability to eat right now.” Jake points out, lifting his hands and revealing the handcuffs as he attempts to pick up a piece of bacon, only to fail dramatically.

Logan can’t help but giggle, covering her mouth to contain her laughs. But Jake notices, shooting her a questioning look. “Oh you find that funny, Princess?” Jake enquires, raising an eyebrow at his cackling wife.

“Obviously. But you can’t say it’s more embarrassing for you since I’ve had to feed you for the last five minutes.” Logan reminds him, throwing her hands on her hips and sighing heavily. She tilts her head to find more people staring at her and she shakes her head out of shame.

“Speaking of, can you pass me another piece of bacon?” Jake teases, a smirk slapped on his expression.

“Ugh. These people can just tell we’re hungover. I spent a half hour trying to cover the bags under my eyes but no... they’re there forever.” Michelle complains once more, running her hands through her ombré hair and she pauses when she finds Sean eyeing her with suspicion. “What the fuck are you looking at, Sean?”

Caught, Sean flicks his gaze to the food in front of him, releasing a low chuckle. “Nothing. It’s just funny how I managed to wanna marry you, even when I’m drunk.” He admits, catching sight of Michelle’s eyes narrowing in offence.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“All you’ve done is fucking complain. You’re so pretentious, Michelle.” Sean retorts, seeming weirdly confident for once.

Michelle scoffs. “Pretentious? All you’ve done is act all high and mighty because you think you’re so good since you got drunk and did stupid things in Vegas. Well trust me when I say Sean that you don’t have to be drunk to do stupid things.” Michelle counters, folding her arms in a solemn manor. Meanwhile, everyone else watches the scene with curiosity and disbelief.

“Seriously, can you guys calm down? This isn’t gonna solve anything.” Grace points out, remaining ignored by Sean and Michelle.

“Ha. I’m sure marrying you is at the top of the list of stupid things I did last night.” Sean mocks, a scowl crossing his face.

“Dude! Burn!” Craig exclaims suddenly, only earning a strong elbow from Zahra. “Why do you always do that, Z?”

“Maybe because that’s the only thing you fucking remember!” Michelle snaps, a death glare reaching her and you can practically see the steam bursting out of her ears.

“Damn, you guys fight like a married couple.” Jake points out and rightfully so. But it attracts everyone in the group’s attention. He’s rewarded with many looks of disbelief and others of pure amusement. He simply shrugs his shoulders. “You’re fitting with the theme so congrats on that.”

Logan leans in and pats Jake shoulder idly. “You might wanna shut up.” She advises and Jake nods along in agreement.

“Good call, Princess. Because they won’t stop staring at me.”

The breakfast hour goes by, with the group discussing what action they will choose to take, in order to regain their friend and solve the problems they brought upon themselves the night before. They end up making an agreement for half the group to go to the prison with Jake and Logan and the other half to attend the annulment session at the chapel with Sean and Michelle. Jake and Logan decided to take Estela, Diego, Craig and Zahra. Also, Furball because he really wants to go to a prison for some reason. While the others, including Sean, Michelle, Grace, Aleister, Raj and Quinn, will make their way to the chapel to try and get the annulment resolved as quickly as possible.

We can only hope this goes well and the arguing stays to a minimum amount.

Once Jake and the others eventually make it to the nearest prison, they stand outside to see if their memory matches with it in anyway or not. There’s really no correct way to tell but this is probably the best they can do.

“It’s a prison. Either way, they can take the cuffs off right?” Logan assumes, folding her arms and surveying the prison carefully. It’s pretty quaint and the most likely one where someone was arrested.

“Well, we don’t just want the cuffs off. We wanna see if we can find out if we were here or not last night.” Estela corrects.

“Right, Katniss. Still, my main concern is having my hands back. I wanna be able to eat food on my own again.” Jake clarifies, once again struggling against the cuffs.

“Mmmmmrff!” Furball curls up on Logan’s shoulder, nuzzling into her platinum and she responds by stroking under his chin.

“You wanna see the criminals? Yes you do, don’t you?” Logan speaks to Furball in a pitchy tone and he responds with a wide smile.

“Ooh! If they refuse, can we use a taser on them?” Craig suddenly requests, throwing his hands in the air and letting a wide smile take over his features.

“I’m still confused as to why you still have that moustache on your face, Craig.” Diego points out, poking the ink on Craig’s face and shooting him a bewildered look.

“Because it looks cool, ok? I’ve always wanted to look like a Super Mario Brother.” Craig points out, slapping away Craig’s hands and appreciating the fake moustache above his lips. “Besides, I can’t really get it off anyway.”

“Still don’t understand why you would ever do that but ok.” Logan responds, face palming hard at this whole situation.

“Craig, you look more botched than anything.”

“I’m trying out a new look! Maybe I’ll make this permanent. I call it the Bond!” Craig announces, posing for the group and they all just role their eyes, the only one amused is Zahra.

“Craig... can’t you at least try and say something smart.” Zahra pleads, slapping Craig’s head violently and he winces at the impact.

“Ok... Albert Einstein was the 13th President of the United States.” Craig blurts out, causing everyone to eye him with complete and utter bewilderment.

“Did that really just come out of your mouth? Did I really just hear that?” Logan is in complete disbelief, facepalming so damn hard out of disappointment.

“Oh my god... Craig, why?” Diego reacts, matching everyone else’s level of shame in Craig.

“Say something else, Craiggers.” Zahra requests, seeming the only one that is amused by this.

Unfazed, Craig shrugs his shoulders and thinks of something else definitely ‘smart’ to say. “Hm... the Earth is flat.”

Zahra is almost tempted to bang her head against a nearby wall. She’s laughing her goddamn head off. “Dude... this is unbearable.”

“Can we just go before I beat the brain cells out of him?” Jake urges and everyone agrees, following him into the station.

Meanwhile, as Michelle and the others finally drive their way into the chapel’s parking lot, using Grace’s mother’s limo to get there. The car ride was mostly with Michelle and Sean squabbling and pestering each other. Also Aleister and Grace arguing about the tattoo on her face. Grace isn’t thrilled about having to spend her wedding with a tattoo. She can’t live with everyone seeing her like that. Then there’s Quinn and Raj who are jamming to music in the back seat. They’re the only ones that are really upbeat even after, seeing that tiger in the bathroom. No one has figured out what to do about that yet. So far the plan is pretend it isn’t there.

Everyone climbs out the car and makes their way towards the chapel, a million thought boggling their minds and messing with their heads. So much is going on and it’s all so impossible to process.

“Can I just clarify that I’m only here because I’d rather not be in a prison or be spending any more time with Jake?” Aleister pipes up suddenly and Grace just rolls her eyes at his unnecessary comment.

“Aleister, please stop. All you’ve done is be negative ever since we got here. Chill out and we’ll be home before you know it.” Grace assures, rubbing his shoulder in a comforting manor but he shakes off her grasp defiantly.

“No, Grace. Chilling out is what got us into this pathetic mess and I never wanted any part of it.” Aleister bites back, folding his arms like that of a sulky manor.

“Stop complaining, Aleister! If you didn’t wanna be here, you didn’t have to be but if you wanna leave now, you can fucking walk because I’m not dealing with your bullshit.” Michelle suddenly snaps, throwing her hands on her hips and storming off towards the chapel. Clearly she’s the most stressed out of everyone, especially with the way Sean spoke to her earlier.

“Michelle. This isn’t gonna solve anything.” Raj points out, following behind her, his expression plastered with worry.

“You’re all being pathetic so can you just calm down so we can sort this out in a civil way.” Quinn requests, looking Grace, Aleister and Sean dead in the way, pleading with them to stop being so feisty.

All three of them share uneven looks before Grace and Sean move to give one another a hug, with Aleister remaining sulky and annoyed by everything he sees.

“I’m sorry, Grace.” Sean apologises, that natural smile returning to his face.

“Me too, Sean. Now lets get this marriage annulled. But please be nice to Michelle. She isn’t taking this so well.”

“Trust me I know.”

Aleister scoffs mockingly, interrupting the apologetic moment. “Aw, how touching. Why don’t you two get together?”

“But Aleister, I’m engaged to—“ Grace tries to ease Aleister’s sudden jealousy but he cuts her off with a nasty scowl.

“No need. Just go. I shall wait in the car.”

Sean simply rolls his eyes and starts up to the chapel with Quinn following after him. Grace eyes her fiancé with sadness and sympathy before trailing after them like a lost puppy. They don’t even get a chance to catch onto Aleister’s guilt as they wander away.

“Goddamn! This is so cool!” Craig exclaims as they wander into the police station and he admires his surroundings with an eager glint in his eyes.

“Let me bet you five bucks right now, Craig, that one day you will end up here.” Zahra bets, a smirk crossing her lips. Her comment was harsh but she doesn’t seem to care and Craig doesn’t seem to understand what her original intentions were.

“You mean... like on a class trip or something?”

Shameful, Zahra shakes her head out of disappointment. “Craig... we should get you a tutor or a doctor or literally anyone who can help you.”

Craig nods along but still hasn’t gained the slightest understanding of the conversation topic. “...I have been having trouble growing a beard.”

“What?”

“Sean can grow them so quickly but me... my jaw is forever alone.” Craig points out, stroking his jaw idly and grieving the lack of facial hair.

Zahra simply scoffs, lost for words. “...Say that again.”

Everyone ventures further into the standard station, with Jake leading up to the front desk with Logan close by his side. The receptionist looks up at them with expectancy as they approach and she doesn’t seem to have noticed cuffs attached to Jake’s hands. It seems like he’s trying to hide them from sight.

“Hello. How can I help you?” The receptionist meets eyes like Logan and Jake, smiling at them as politely as her tone remains. However, her smile immediately dies when she takes the time to skim over their exteriors. It’s almost like she recognises them. This is a good thing. “It’s... um...”

Jake notices how the receptionist is constantly stuttering and tilts his head at her bewilderedly. “You ok there, office... desk... lady?” He asks and Logan reacts by elbowing him at the stupid way he referred to her. Jake winces and narrows his eyes at his wife. “Fuck... being wasted made you stronger.”

“You need to learn how to talk to people, Jake.” Logan points out, shaking her head at him.

“Oh no... is Princess disappointed in me?”

“Remember you’re the one in cuffs. Not me.”

“...For now.” Jake mutters under his breath and Logan’s eyes widen at the insinuation mixed into his words. He avoids eye contact with her and ends their conversation, turning back to the receptionist. “Anyway... I kinda need to ask some questions.”

The receptionist clears her throat and finally relaxes, exhaling softly. “I’m not sure how I can help you, Mr Mckenzie.”

At the sound of his surname, Jake’s cerulean gaze snaps back towards the receptionist and a feeling of relief washes over me. “Holy shit... you know me. You know me, right?”

“Of course. How could I forget the man who danced around the police station like a maniac and asked me if I was pregnant?” The receptionist shoots Jake a deadly glare and he flinches a little. Logan scoffs at the revelation and attempts too hard to hold back her laughter.

“Uh... sorry about that?”

Ignoring Jake’s loose and uneven apology, the receptionist continues. “And after I said that I wasn’t, you poked my stomach and told me I needed to stop hitting up all the Burger Kings or they will soon run out of food.” The receptionist shudders as she recalls the vile insults and Jake really must have crossed a line there.

Logan leans over to Jake and releases a heavy sigh. “You deserve to be elbowed now, don’t you think?”

Jake simply nods, feeling so awkward and embarrassed. “Good call.”

With that Logan elbows her husband more violently than she ever has attempted to before. Jake grits his teeth at the impact and nods along, proud of his hard-hitting wife.

“Seriously... I said that. Well I’m very sorry about that.”

Once again, Jake is ignored and the receptionist just rolls her eyes out of annoyance. “Do you even remember anything because you’re looking clueless and like you crawled out of a barrel of whiskey?”

“Uh... no... lady?”

“The name’s Linda.” She corrects, her eyes leaving daggers wherever she dares to look. “And I suppose you’re here to get those cuffs taken off since you ran out with them as soon as the police said you could go free.”

“Wait I was the one who was arrested?” Jake reacts, not sure what to say.

Logan leans against the desk and buries her face in her hands. “Jake... of course you were. It’s... drunk you.”

The receptionist flicks her gaze over to Logan and eyes her with suspicion. “You were with him last night. Yes... you made out with the officer who said Jake could go. I remember the officer reminding you about your husband but you simply came back at him with ‘jake and I have an understanding’.” The receptionist explains with a look of disgust and Logan’s ocean eyes widen a little more as each word is spoken. She can’t believe she did that. Did she really do that? Would she do that? Drunk Lo might do that.

Jake can’t believe it either but he also can’t hold back his heavy chuckles. “You made out with an officer... well that’s just great, darlin’.”

“Wow, nice, Lo!” Craig applauds, extremely proud of Logan for some unknown reason.

“I actually feel like I might be sick. I had a threesome and made out with an officer all in the same night.” Logan points out, a little louder than intended and people begin to strangely look her way. Even more embarrassed, she hides her face and Jake rests his head on hers comfortingly.

“Lo, it’s ok. I’m not mad.”

The receptionist simply scoffs, interrupting the moment. “I can let you talk to the officer she kissed if you would like. He could talk you through what happened last night and the details of Jake’s arrest.” She offers, pointing towards an interrogation room in the far corner. “I can only allow you two to go through though.”

“That would be great.” Logan clamps a hand over while agreeing to this whole talking to the officer thing. But confronting this stranger she made out with last night while being married will be very awkward.

“Can he also take the cuffs off... you know... so I can punch him?” Jake questions, a slight scowl crossing his features. Wow he might be a little mad.

“If you punch him, we’ll arrest you again. Simple.”

Jake scoffs, raising his eyebrows out of amusement. “Oh... a man with a plan.”

The receptionist narrows her eyes to how she is referred to and Jake hangs his head in shame. “...Woman.”

“...Yeah. Once again... I am sorry.”

Michelle eyes the man at the counter with suspicion, having the slight feeling that she may recognise him. Of course she must have met him because she was here last night. She arches her eyebrows as her frustration starts to peek through and the man at the counter forms a wide smile when he spots Michelle.

“Ah, look who’s back! Mr and Mrs Eggplant!” The man exclaims in a raw Italian accent. At the way they are referred to, Michelle and Sean’s eyes widen with confusion.

“Eggplant?” Michelle reacts, a cringy expression starting to take over.

“Of course! Your crazy friend, Aleister, came up with it for your married name and you loved it!” The man is clearly excited, his smile increasing even more with every word that is spoken.

“I’m sorry but... who are you?” Grace asks.

“Haha! Always the joker, Raspberry!” The man responds with an obnoxious laugh, dragging Grace in for a friendly hug. She accepts it hesitantly, one eyebrows raised bewilderedly once he lets her go.

“Raspberry?”

“You are Raspberry. When good ol’ Al suggested Eggplant, you all wanted to be named after fruits. Let me see here...” The man searches the group around him, clapping his hands aloud when he spots Raj and Quinn with small smiles on their faces. “Ah, yes! You wanted to be Avacado.” The man explains, pointing to Quinn.

“Really? Out of all the pretty fruits there are in the world... I chose... an avacado?” Quinn says, obviously disappointed as she hangs her head in shame.

“And you, Ra-Ra! You were Pineapple!” The man points out, patting Raj on the back.

“Holy shit... like Spongebob?”

“Yes! Like the Bob sponge!”

Raj’s eyes light up with excitement and clearly he’s enjoying the company of the Italian man. “Wait! Did you have a fruit name?”

“Yes! I was the banana according to Aleister. Wow that one was the craziest out of all of you last night.” The man exclaims, laughs escaping him as he recalls the night before.

Everyone appears shocked to hear that Aleister could have been the most wasted out of all them. Then again... they all read the texts.

“Seriously? You’re talking about our Eggplant— I mean Aleister, right?” Michelle questions, in complete disbelief.

“Yes. Don’t you remember? He almost ruined the wedding when he vomited on the floor, barely missing poor Eggplant.” The man explains, flicking his gaze between Michelle and Sean.

“Sorry. But which one of us do you mean when you say Eggplant?” Sean questions, finding this entire situation confusing.

“The bride, of course. I remember she was wearing a trash bag she picked up from the gas station. It was very pretty.”

“Wait... just a trash bag?” Michelle reacts, in hope that isn’t true.

“Yes... Aleister tried to take it off you multiple times, claiming he needed to find his eggplant. You told me you have just come back from skinny dipping. Interesting information but it’s also something I didn’t need. Come on, you fools. You really don’t remember?”

“Well, last night is just kinda... fuzzy. But we are aware that Michelle and Sean got married last night and... we wanted to know if it’s possible we could it get annulled.” Quinn suggests, a hopeful glint in her eye and the man nods happily. He doesn’t appear like the kind of person who would never have a smile on his face.

“Of course. You know how Vegas is, tricking us into thinking that everything is a good idea.” A revelation suddenly dawns on the man and he drops the paperwork he’d picked up from the shelf in the desk. He flicks his gaze between the group and furrows his brows. “So if you have Vegas amnesia, that must mean you have forgotten my name.”

The whole group goes silent, their minds bouncing with ideas of what his name might be. “Ummm... no sorry.”

“Is it Pablo?” Quinn suddenly guesses and everyone is scared that he will get offended by her random and semi-stereotypical guess.

“Yes! Avacado, you were always my favourite.” The man, or Pablo, exclaims, high fiving Quinn before retrieving a pen from the desk.

“How the hell do you do that?” Grace questions, throwing her hands on her hips and raising her eyebrows.

“I don’t know. It’s like a gift.” Quinn responds, a bright smile crossing her lips. “...I’m his favourite.” She adds proudly.

“Both if you are already present so this should be quick and easy.” Pablo points out, jotting something down before looking up at the clearly unhappy couple.

“Good... I can’t stand being married to...” Michelle looks Sean up and down, narrowing her eyes at him. “...whatever this is any longer.”

“Ha... Ha.” Sean brews up a sarcastic laugh and folds his arms out of stress. “Hey, Banana.” Sean suddenly says, referring to Pablo.

“Yes, Eggplant?” Pablo answers, an expression of amusement fixed on his face at the fact that Sean used the nickname.

“Do you think you can talk us through this wedding while you annul it because I gotta know the full story?”

“Of course. There’s plenty to speak of. You were all pretty drunk, if you know what I’m saying.”

“We definitely know what you’re saying.” Raj points out as the hangover starts to take over again.

“Well... it all started when both Eggplants came rampaging in like animals...”

Michelle and Sean dive into the chapel, completely intoxicated and feeling as though their brains are about to explode with all the alcohol they have consumed. Their phones continue to buzz and vibrate as the group chat is corrupted with constant texts. They haven’t cared to answer though because they are about to do the craziest thing they’ve probably ever done.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in their system talking but it almost feels right in a way and Michelle and Sean only see the alcohol as liquid courage because they’d never have the will to do this if they were sober.

But it’s happening and they’re gonna make this damn night count. Sean and Michelle link as they stumble into the chapel, causing the owner Pablo to glance up from his desk and spot the clearly wasted two. He chuckles softly under his breath, as Michelle and Sean continue to laugh obnoxiously with each other. They’re almost completely naked, with Michelle dressed in nothing but a trash bag and Sean wearing nothing but what can only be described as a woman’s bathrobe. They’re carrying half empty bottles of vodka and Michelle’s makeup is smudged all over her face. They look absolutely disgusting but why should they care?

“Hello! What can I do for you today?” Pablo asks, waving his hands in the air as if he’s welcoming them.

“Duh. Marry us!” Michelle declares, hoisting her arm over Sean’s shoulder and clinging to him like a child would to a teddy bear. He responds by tugging her closer by her waist.

“Are you sure? You look like you just came back from the tequila factory.” Pablo counters, gesturing to their heavy appearances and they laugh along with his comment.

“Close. We just got back from skinny dipping at the beach down there. Then our clothes got robbed by these kids so we decided to look in the trash for some clothes. Meech found this sexy leather dress and I wanted to wear this because it smells nice.” Sean explains, sniffing the sleeve off the pink, floral bathrobe and Pablo is actually shell-shocked by the situation.

“Didn’t you say you found that in the trash?”

“Yeah... what’s your point?” Sean asks, furrowing his brows.

“Nothing. So that’s one marriage?” Pablo quickly distracts himself, shifting his gaze towards the paperwork before him. “Just wait here while I get this confirmed.”

“Cool!” Michelle calls out as Pablo wanders into the other room before turning her gaze to Sean and jumping up and down excitedly. “We’re gonna get married! We’re gonna married!”

“Yes we are! Yes we are!” Sean chants along with Michelle as they wave their vodka bottles about enthusiastically.

“Hey, we should invite our friends to come watch!” Michelle suggests and Sean nods along immediately.

After engaging in the group chat and telling their friends to come and attend the wedding, Michelle and Sean snap their eyes towards Pablo, who comes walking back into to the entrance of the chapel. He plasters a weak smile on his face and welcomes Michelle and Sean in for a private ceremony.

Michelle and Sean stand opposite each other with Pablo officiating between them, speaking to an empty audience. This could probably be classed as the weirdest wedding Pablo has ever had to host but nevertheless, it’s making him money.

“Before we begin, I need to clarify that you signed a contract that if you regret this when you are sober, you cannot blame/sue this chapel because we were just doing our jobs. Clear?” Pablo points out before the ceremony really begins.

Michelle and Sean nod along, the wonky smiles never leaving their expressions. “Crystal clear.”

“Ok so we are gathered here today...”

Before anything can go any further, the doors to the chapel swing open and all the rest of the group come parading in like a stampede of elephants. They look impossibly energised but so out of breath at the same time. Soon, they approach Michelle and Sean, excitement and uncertainty exploding in all of their eyes.

“We came to watch you get married!” Grace announces, clapping her hands as loudly as possible and the deafening sound echoes throughout the room.

“Cool! You’re about to watch our lives change...” Michelle responds, smoothing out the trash bag that is very big on her body and she’s lucky it hasn’t fallen off yet, exposing the parts she doesn’t want people to see.

“...for one night.” Jake adds, holding up his glass and tugging Logan close to his body, who leans into him before snatching the glass out of his hand and chugging the rest of the whiskey down herself. “Wow... it’s rude to steal, Princess.”

“It’s also rude to let a girl go thirsty.” Logan bites back, tugging at Jake’s lower lip with her finger and he responds by smirking widely.

“Heh. Maybe I like it when you’re thirsty.”

Zahra scoffs when she catches the sound of their inappropriate conversation. “Can you two just not for two seconds? We have more important matters to discuss!” She announces, moving so she’s standing on one of the chapel chairs, forcing everyone to look her way.

“And what’s that, Z?” Estela questions, hands on her hips.

“Duh. One of the most defining moments in all of history.” Zahra counters. “Craig got hit by a car!”

“Woah! What?” Grace reacts, jaw almost leaving her face out of shock. “Craig, are you ok?”

“I’m fine. It wasn’t really a car. It was a hot dog stand on wheels.” Craig corrects, chuckling under his breath and rubbing the light bruise on his head.

“Don’t ruin it, Craiggers. Car sounds better. That way I can imagine that you lost more brain cells than I wanna believe.” Zahra responds, patting Craig on his shoulder and he nods idly.

“How did you manage it?” Quinn asks, titling her head to the side.

“Oh yeah. The dude who was rolling it thought I was a traffic light on green because of the colours on my shirt.” Craig explains, laughing about it a little too much. “And maybe I did try to steal some of the hot dogs so he kinda had no problem with hitting me.” He adds, running a hand through his jet black hair. “But I really don’t think I deserved to be hit.”

“Sure because stealing someone’s food is definitely not a crime.” Diego states sarcastically.

“Not when it’s good.” Raj adds.

“I ran over someone once.” Estela suddenly points out and everyone turns to her with wide eyes. It’s almost like she never even meant to say it out loud.

“What? Who? Where? When? Why? How?” Grace bombards Estela with questions, suddenly panicky.

“Oh... just the other day. Aleister was annoying me so I hit him with my car.”

“Did that really happen? Because I don’t remember Al saying anything about that.” Grace points out, shrugging her shoulders.

“Ok fine. It was just a really cool dream.” Estela admits, sticking her tongue out at Grace in annoyance.

All of a sudden, another familiar face comes storming into the chapel. Aleister, of course, comes running in as energetic as possible, his platinum hair tousled and messy while the rest of his appearance looks like he’s also been through the tequila factory.

“Speak of the devil...”

“What is up, members of the human world!” Aleister announces, waving his arms around as a way to declare his presence to the group. His once presentable jacket is all creased, one side of the collar sticking up unnaturally. This is an Aleister no one has ever seen and sure as hell hopes to never see again.

“Aleister!” Grace is clearly happy to see him and Aleister stops short when he hears her voice. He wraps her in a tight hug, one can could easily stop her from breathing.

“You are my one and only, Grace! I love you so much! You are my world!” Aleister declares his love for Grace to the rest of the group and it’s literally something he would never do sober.

“Wow, Aleister. You’d really cheat on Jake like that?” Logan jokes, folding her arms and referring back to the group chat.

Jake just scoffs under his breath, deciding to go along with the joke. “Yeah, Malfoy. I’ve never felt so betrayed.”

“Speaking of, did you enjoy Jake’s eggplant, Logan?” Aleister questions and it sadly seems as though he’s talking genuinely.

Jake and Logan share a knowing look, actually feeling sympathy for Aleister. “In the bathroom of the strip club.” Jake suddenly points out with a deadly smirk, causing Logan’s ocean eyes to widen and she slaps Jake’s right peck as hard as she can. He just shrugs it off, grabbing her and kissing the inside of her wrist reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Princess. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Jake, seriously, shut the fuck up.” She urges, pointing at him sharply and Estela scoffs.

“Finally, someone said it. That was so damn overdue.” Estela points out and Jake shoots her the middle finger.

“Now, now, Jake. Play nice.” Logan tells him, tapping his chin playfully.

“So wait... was it a big eggplant because sometimes people can’t even get them in their mouth?” Aleister suddenly chimes in, causing both Logan and Jake to facepalm hard.

“Who hurt you, Al?”

“Um... can you guys not talk about eggplants? We’re trying to get married over here.” Michelle points out and everyone suddenly turns their attention to the very noticeable wedding outfits that Michelle and Sean have decided to get married in.

“Wow... you guys really look trash.” Craig jokes, seeming to be the only one laughing at his joke. Well, Jake seems to find it funny, giving Craig a high five.

Michelle simply rolls her eyes and turns back to Sean. “You guys can either leave or sit down and enjoy the show.”

“Oh I’m sure we would enjoy the show a lot more if the trash bag and bathrobe came off.” Jake chimes in, folding his arms in a casual manor. Everyone looks his way in disbelief and he remains unfazed. “What? That’s how Princess and i would be doing it.”

Logan shakes her head defiantly at the group. “No it’s not. I swear... go ahead. Please get married before I turn this into Jake’s funeral.”

Jake chuckles and shrugs his shoulders, grabbing Craig’s bottle of whiskey of him and chugging it down himself. He catches the offended look that Craig gives him. “I’m poor, Craigslist. Let me be.”

Pablo has been watching this situation unfold for the last few minutes and he is unsure what to make of it. “Shall I continue with the ceremony?”

“One moment.” Aleister interrupts, stepping in between Michelle and Sean, a forced smile plastered on his face. “I would quickly like to announce something.”

“Oh... this should be good.” Zahra mutters, retrieving her phone and filming the current situation.

“I know I’ll only have the courage to say this when I’m intoxicated but... I need to tell you all now.” Aleister begins, messing with his tousled hair as he speaks. “...I think I might be...”

“Gay?” Jake blurts out, clasping a hand over his mouth immediately.

Craig gasps aloud. “I freaking knew it!”

Aleister rolls his eyes but instantly shifts his expression back into a smile. “Oh you guys and... your ways. I meant I think I might be... allergic to eggplants.” Tears begin rising in Aleister’s eyes and he wipes them away with the sleeve of his jacket.

“...Uh, what?” Quinn reacts, sapphire eyes widening.

“After the group chat message, I tried to eat a load of eggplants and I... I...” Genuine sobs leave Aleister’s eyes and that’s the scary part about this situation. “...I had a reaction.”

“You’re... allergic to eggplants? That really came out of my fiancé’s mouth.” Grace looks up as if she’s pleading to the Gods.

“Oh no... I think it might still be... happeni—“ Before Aleister can finish his words, a sense of nausea runs through him and he paces around frantically looking for a place to let the feeling out. With no time, Aleister vomits directly in front of Michelle and she barely moves out of the way in time.

“Ew! Al, you could’ve killed me!” Michelle complains, clearly exaggerating as she smoothes out her trash bag dress and exhales sharply. “You’re disgusting.”

“Sorry, Michelle. I didn’t mean to... oh no. It’s happening again.”

With that, Aleister sprints outside and the only thing heard is the sound of him vomiting into the nearby bushes.

“Well shit... should we begin the ceremony now?” Pablo questions and if everyone was sober, they’d probably deny the idea and go home. But no they’re drunk and hopeless and they go straight back into the terrible idea of Michelle and Sean getting married.

Back at the police station, Jake and Logan are lead the receptionist, Linda, into an interrogation room where they’ve accepted the chance to hear about what happened the night before from the police officer that Logan supposedly made out with as a reaction to Jake being free. Considering the reasoning and intoxicated circumstances, Jake isn’t too mad about this but even so, there’s always gonna be that small part of him that is obviously riled up about by the thought of Logan kissing and touching someone else. Now he knows how she felt when they found out about the threesome. Clearly they only want each other and they’re sickened by the thought of other people being involved in their relationship. That proves their love is pretty powerful.

As they’re lead into the interrogation room, they spot an officer sat in one of the chairs, sipping on a cup of coffee. The name tag on his police uniform reads ‘Officer D. Hickey’... oh my god. His last name is Hickey?! Of all things, Hickey?! Who hurt this man? Better yet, his first name starts with D. Let’s not go down that road.

Jake and Logan eye the officer awkwardly, waiting for him to notice them. He only does when Linda raises her voice.

“Dave, you got company.” Linda announces before leaving the room and Dave glances up curiously, his eyes lighting up at the sight of Jake and Logan. Clearly he recognises them but it’s sad that they don’t recognise him.

“Oh wow! You’re back!” Dave exclaims, rising from his seat and giving Jake a friendly hug, which he can’t exactly respond to because he’s trapped in cuffs. “Good to see you, you crazy bastard.”

Jake scoffs at the way he’s referred to. “Gee, thanks for using my first name.” He says in a sarcastic tone and Dave takes it as a joke, throwing his head back and laughing aloud.

“Good one!” Then he turns to Logan and Jake is shocked by what the officer does next. “Ah, Logan... it’s more than great to see you.”

With that, Dave unexpectedly brings his lips to Logan’s and gives her a savoury kiss, one that she doesn’t accept but also doesn’t deny. She simply glances at Jake and shrugs her shoulders, too stunned to really do anything about. Anger rises in Jake and a fire starts in his hearts. Too bad he can’t actually punch the guy.

Finally Dave pulls away and smooths out Logan’s hair before stepping back. “So what can I do for you two?”

At that point, Jake can’t resist the urge to snap a little. “You can start by keeping you filthy hands off my wife.”

Dave raises his hands up in defence. “Hey hey, she’s the one who kissed me last night. Maybe I just got the wrong sign.”

“Still, don't fucking touch her!” Jake snaps, arching his eyebrows viciously and Dave folds his arms in casual manor, unsure what to make of Jake’s angered state.

“I don’t recommend you try and argue with me, especially after what happened to you last night.” Dave advises and that’s when Logan feels the need to chime in.

“Yes... that’s why we’re really here. We kinda don’t remember what happened last night and...” Logan stutters a little as she struggles to remember the receptionist’s name. “...the front desk lady sent us in here so you could tell us what happened.”

Dave appears bewildered, almost in disbelief. “You really have no idea what happened?”

“No. To top it off, I somehow ended up walking out with the handcuffs you trapped me in.” Jake adds, annoyance driving him over the edge.

“Yes... I told you many times to take those off but you kept saying you were a dog and licking the other officers. You even asked your own wife if she wanted to play fetch. It was pretty amusing!” Dave explains and Jake simply rolls his eyes, irritation building up like bricks. Logan rubs his shoulder comfortingly and it only calms him slightly.

“We’d really appreciate it if you could explain to us what happened and maybe if you can, take the cuffs off Jake.” Logan requests and Dave nods in agreement.

“Of course I can do that. In fact, I have the key right here.” Dave mentions before wandering over to Jake, slightly cautious, and gesturing for him to turn his hands over so he can unlock the cuffs. He completes the action with ease and Jake is finally able to move his hands freely.

“Yes, baby! I got my freedom!” Jake waves his hands about enthusiastically, doing the things he hasn’t been able to do for the last few years, one of them being grabbing Logan and kissing her full on the lips. The best part is that Dave has to watch as Jake caresses her body with his now free hands and leave her breathless by the time he leans away.

Dazed, Logan nods with satisfaction. “Damn, Mckenzie. I like you better when you have your hands.”

“You should.”

Dave scoffs, interrupting the private moment. “So... do you wanna know about your arrest or not?”

Jake rolls his eyes out of annoyance. “Sorry. Yeah.”

The police cars surround Jake and he’s forced to raise his hands and surrender. He releases a heavy sigh and rolls his eyes for letting this happen to him. The only thing he wanted to do was fetch his wife from the casino after he got kicked out himself. Turns out some asshole was flirting with his wife and he went to confront him. That’s when Sean came over asking what the commotion was. They ended up fighting those jerks together and getting kicked out at the same time. Sean told Jake not to go back in but the dumbass went back in anyway and now he’s gonna get arrested for what... wanting to see his wife? Damn... such a horrific crime.

Jake’s cerulean eyes widen when he recognises the police officer who steps out of one of the cars, followed by one he doesn’t know.

“Agh shit. Why now?” Jake curses under his breath as the familiar officer approaches him with nothing but an eye roll and an annoyed expression.

Would you believe it’s his sister Rebecca? Of course she has the Vegas shift on the one time Jake decides to do something stupid in Nevada. Damn, what kind of coincidence is this?

Sean stands beside Jake but he hasn’t be asked to raise his hands. Clearly he’s just moral support.

“What?” Sean reacts as Jake’s eyes widen because of how stunned he is.

“That’s my sister, Q.B.” Jake admits, hanging his head out of shame.

“Unlucky you.” Sean mocks with an amused smirk. He lets out a low whistle at the sight of Rebecca Mckenzie. “Fuck... she’s hot.”

“You better shut the fuck up before I beat the shit out of you.” Jake threatens and Sean takes the warning seriously, placing a hand over the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Geez, sorry dude.”

Rebecca finally reaches them, throwing her hands on her hips and smirking out of amusement. “Wow Jake. Thought you weren’t a criminal.”

“I’m not. This is just a misunderstanding.” Jake tries to explain, his voice slightly shaky considering the circumstances.

“Really? So you thought it was ok to reenter a casino after being told you couldn’t go back in?”

Jake forms a cocky smirk and shrugs his shoulders. “What can I say? I’m drunk. I do dumbass things when I’m drunk. You know this, sis.” Rebecca nods along, actually giving him that one. “Besides I only wanted to go fetch Logan so I could take her home.”

“You couldn’t just text her?” Rebecca questions, furrowing her brows.

“I could have but I guess I didn’t think of it.”

Rebecca rolls her eyes and retrieves some handcuffs from her belt. “You can tell it to a judge, Jake.”

“Wait... I have to face a fucking judge?!” Jake reacts, as Rebecca traps him in the handcuffs firmly and locks them on with a key.

“I don’t know yet. It’s just a really cool thing to say.” Rebecca mutters under her breath and Jake scoffs as he’s lead towards the police car. Logan is brought out of the casino and is allowed to go with him to the police station. Sean stays behind, saying he would meet up with the others wherever they were. Everyone kinda got scattered after the strip club.

After an unbearable drive, they arrive at the police station where Jake is instantly taken through to the interrogation room where his sister sits opposite him, eyeing him with caution. Also, there’s the other officer he didn’t recognise. The one with the name tag ‘Officer D. Hickey’

Jake is really struggling to contain his laughter. “That’s a really interesting name.” Jake decides to break the silence, gesturing to Dave’s name tag and he simply shrugs his shoulders while Rebecca rolls her eyes, knowing what he’s getting at.

“I get that a lot. But you should know it’s pronounced HIKE-y not hickey... that’s just how it’s spelt.” Dave corrects, folding his arms.

“Sure. Whatever you say, Mr Hickey.” Jake responds sarcastically, referring to Dave with the wrong pronunciation instead of the right one.

Dave scoffs. “It’s not Hickey. Stop saying it like that.”

“Like what?” Jake pretends to be oblivious, turning towards his sister. “Anyway, Becs, I gotta tell you that this is all really stupid. I’m drunk and misunderstood. You gotta me let go.”

“Why should I do that, Jake? You were basically trespassing.”

“How about because we’re Ohana?” Jake suddenly states, referring back to when Logan used the phrase when she made him watch Lilo and Stitch of all things, a movie he actually enjoyed.

Clearly Rebecca hasn’t seen it though. “Ohana? What is that?”

“Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind... or forgotten.” Jake always forgets that last part and Logan almost kills him every time he does.

Rebecca releases a heavy sigh when he realises what Jake is doing. “...Please don’t tell me you’re quoting Stitch.”

“Stitch is a smart blue alien ball of fluff. You should listen to him.” Jake advises. “And Stitch says let me go.”

“...I really hate you, Jake.” Rebecca mutters, rolling her eyes. “You did the crime so now you gotta do the time.”

“Is that really true or are you just saying that ‘cause it’s cool?”

“Both.” Rebecca leans forward and folds her arms across the table.

“Come on, Becs. I will do anything you want.” Jake pleads, shooting her the puppy dog eyes that never work on anyone.

“Not interested.”

“I’ll buy you a car.”

“I’m not sixteen. Besides what’s better than a cop car?” Rebecca scoffs mockingly at Jake’s absurdity.

“I’ll buy you a boyfriend. You can have Aleister if you want. I’m begging you please take him.” Jake offers and he wishes he wasn’t being serious.

“Who the fuck do you think I am?”

“Come on, Becs... please.” Jake attempts to plead one last time and that seems to be Rebecca’s breaking point. She rolls her eyes and finally relents.

“Fine... get the fuck out. But this is a one time thing. You got it?” Rebecca warms and Jake nods quickly, running out of the interrogation room happily, not even realising he’s still attached to the cuffs.

Logan is stood outside the interrogation room and her ocean eyes light up when he comes out. “Did they let you go?” She questions, a real hope in her eyes.

“Obviously.”

Dave exits the interrogation room after Jake, eyeing Logan with wariness. “Keep this one out of trouble. He’s an absolute idiot.”

“Hey! That’s my husband you’re talking about.” Logan points out and Dave shakes his head apologetically. “It’s ok though. Thank you for letting him go!” She exclaims and before you know it, she randomly attaches her lips to Dave’s and wraps her arms around his neck, expressing her gratitude in an abnormal way.

Jake simply watches, not sure what to do or what to say but a smirk stays on his lips. “Get some, Princess!” Damn he really is wasted.

Logan finally pulls away and Dave looks shocked, confused and satisfied. “I thought he was your husband.”

“He and I have an understanding.”

“That’s about it... then you both danced around the police station for god knows how long and Jake made that awful comment to Linda before running out with the cuffs still on.” Dave finally finished his story and both Jake and Logan are left stunned but somehow still unsurprised.

Logan facepalms hard. “I’m really sorry about kissing you. I was...”

“Drunk, I know. We get a lot of those. This is Vegas for god’s sake.”

Jake folds his arms and strokes his jaw thoughtfully for a moment. “So you really let me go?

“Not sure why but you know, Rebecca is your sister isn’t she?”

“Yeah. Speaking of, where is she?” Jake asks, genuinely curious.

“She left for Chicago early this morning. Her shifts go everywhere.” Dave states and Jake nods knowingly.

“Ok. We’ll be gone now.” Jake points out, helping Logan to her feet and leading her out of the interrogation room.

“Please don’t come back. Ever.” Dave pleads as they exit the police station and they also hope and pray that they never have to come back here

“So... did you get you marriage annulled?” Diego questions as the group finally reunite in the lobby of the hotel they’re staying at. Everything seems to be going according to the plan at the moment and let’s hope nothing goes wrong as the day goes on. Their mission to find Vaaryn is only just beginning.

“Yes. No more ring on this finger. Thank god.” Michelle lets out a sigh of relief and Sean just rolls his eyes in response, not bothering to bite back.

“If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it! If you like it then you should have put a ring on it!” Raj starts singing for no reason. Everyone stares at him strangely for a moment. “What? It just popped into my head.

“Best part is when Aleister decided to come back in to the chapel and Pablo slapped him in the face for being such a crazy person. His words.” Quinn explains, giggling aloud and everyone can’t help but laugh along.

“It actually wasn’t funny at all but think what you must.”

“Glad Jake has finally be saved from the cuffs. Too bad you grew out of them.” Estela jokes, patting Jake on the back and for once he laughs along.

“Whatever, Katniss. I simply can’t wait to revisit all the fucked up dumbass shit you did last night.”

“Good luck because it’ll never be as much as you, cabron.”

“So what now? Do we start searching for Vaaryn? Were they any clues at the places you went?” Grace questions, folding her arms idly.

“No. Pablo said Vaaryn wasn’t with us even when all of us were there.” Quinn states, shrugging her shoulders unsurely.

“And it was just Jake and I at the police station.” Logan adds.

“Well, I say we check the last place we saw the dude.” Zahra pipes up, hands on her hips and everyone seems to know what she’s getting at immediately, all except one.

“Disneyland?!” Craig reacts, clapping his hands energetically and everyone shakes their heads.

“No.... the strip club!”

hope it’s not too confusing. i feel like every chapter of this is a lot

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josiewinters1999 · 6 years

Text

What It Feels Like 2

Rocket Raccoon x OFC (Willie)

Part 1 ... Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Summary: Rocket and Willie spend the day lounging around his ship. That is, until Willie gives into her vices

Contains: Angst, Fluff, Insecurities, Smoking, Mentions of drugs, Alcohol, Mentions of Suicide, Cursing

A/N: Thanks to the literal 3 people who read this and liked it. ( @animeaniseed @okie--loki and @youralienfriend y’all real ogs) If anyone here is new, Willie is my character for Doctor who I made almost 7 years ago that I put in everything. This was written for me and not meant to be seen by anyone so there may be some things in here you won’t understand and if you want to, DM me and I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Thanks to the guys actually reading this and here’s the part 2 y’all wanted

The sun doesn’t rise in space and as Rocket’s ship drifts through the emptiness of the universe, the light through the window does not change. Was it not for the alarm clock on the nightstand next to his pillow, he may not have woken up. However, it does go off and begins screaming at the raccoon to rise for the day.

Groaning, he flopps to his side and reaches a tired paw to silence it. He wipes his face, blinking furiously as he attempts to fully wake up. He pushes down, lifting himself into a sitting position. The first fully conscious thought in his head was the night before.

He still feels tingly from his realization. It was very uncharacteristic of him to feel this strongly about anyone let alone a woman. But, he reminds himself, Willie is no average woman. This is true, she isn’t. Willie is a six foot, 2600 year old woman with the strength of sumo wrestler.

Rocket’s thoughts are cut off when his nose starts to sniff the air. Smoke and coffee. Those two things indicated that Willie was in fact awake. Rocket smiles and quickly dresses to go meet her.

After slipping on the nearest jumpsuit on his floor, the raccoon scurries down the hall as quickly as he can, but not too quickly as too look in a hurry.

Upon entering the main control room, he finds the Gallifreyan blond in the captain’s chair, a mug full of hot coffee clutched in her right hand, and a cigarette held delicately in her left. She’s fully dressed, wearing one of her typical green tops, a pair of blue jeans, and brown work boots, the same thing she always wears.

Her legs are draped over the arm of the chair and when Rocket enters, his feet making soft padding noises on the floor, she glances over her knees at him then back at the stars with a smile, “Morning big man,” she greated.

Rocket’s heart flutters at her pet name. With weak knees, he hops into the co captains chair to sit with her, “Morning sasquatch.”

The blond chuckles and takes a drag off her cigarette. As she exhales, she turns to Rocket, “Sorry about this,” she says, “I know how you feel about smoking in the ship, but I just really needed a hit.” She pulls the tobacco roll back and examines it, the business end glowing, “I wish I could quit these damn things but if I can’t drink and I can’t get high, then I guess this is okay.” She sighs and takes another long drag.

The raccoon in the seat next to her admires her for a bit. Her long, perfectly golden, hair lay on her shoulders in the most exquisite way. The loose, middle parted, curls shine in the artificial lights of the spacecraft and Rocket could get lost in them given the opportunity.

Snapping himself back to reality, he leans forward mumbling, but not daring to make eye contact with his partner, “Here, let me get the vents going.” His fingers tap on the touch screen in front of him and the tobacco smoke filled room is suddenly clear and fresh to breathe in again.

Willie looks up as the vents suck out her smoke, “Shit,” she mutters, “I keep forgetting we have those.”

Rocket leans back into the seat again, glancing at Willie once more. This time she meets his gaze and smiles, her cheeky grin seeming brighter when her smoke was in her hand, “What’s the plan for today chief?” She questions, “I don’t think we had any job offers come in last night and Knowhere is a couple days away even with the jumps.”

The raccoon shrugs, “I don’t know, thought maybe we’d just chill for the day. Been awhile since we did that.” She nods as he continues, “You still kinda owe me a drink. We kinda skipped that last night.”

Willie looks down into her coffee mug at those last two words “‘Last night,’” she repeats, her smile fading.

“Yeah, remember, you sat in the rain like an idiot while I tried to get your stupid ass inside?” Rocket retorted.

Smile coming back to her face, Willie nods, “Yeah I remember. It’s just I was thinking last night…”

This makes Rocket’s ears perk ever so slightly, “About what?”

She looks up to him and then turns to snuff out her cigarette in the ashtray on the main console in front of her, “About stuff. Nothing I’d want to burden you with. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Concern laced his eyes as his ears dropped back down, “You okay?”

Willie shrugs, “Okay as I can get I guess.”

***

The two had spent the day playing cards. Willie had brought her deck from Earth and taught her raccoon friend how to play Blackjack. At first he didn’t understand but after Wilie explained it one more time in her smooth soft voice, he felt like he was an expert.

The entire time they played, they chatted each other’s ears off. Rocket would tell any joke he could take any opportunity to make Willie laugh. Her laugh, when it wasn’t forced, was beautiful. It was so hearty and full of life. Her eyes would squint as she smiled and through the tired bags underneath them, she looked amazing.

Willie, coming back down from one such laugh, picks up her cards to finally put them away, “You know Rocket,” she chuckles, “for a raccoon, you are fucking hilarious.”

Pretending to know what the hell she was talking about Rocket nervously laughs, “Well what can I say, I’m pretty amazing.”

He watches her for a moment as she stacks the cards neatly, having a bit of difficulty getting them in the perfect shape to fit in the box. As she fiddles with them in her lap, a piece of her hair falls out from behind her ear and into her face. Rocket can almost feel his hand reaching across the table on its own to push it back. It took everything in his power to stop it.

He suddenly looks down to his own lap and desperately tries to think of anything else. The raccoon can feel his heart pounding in his chest, threatening to burst out of his body if he doesn’t do something to satiate it.

“Hey Willie,” he finally says, looking back up with hopeful eyes.

Not looking at him as she finally slides the card deck back into the box her eyebrows raise, an indicator she was listening, “Yeah?”

Rocket begins to get up, heading to the ship’s miniscule kitchen, “How bout that drink?”

She finally closes the box and sets it in front of her, eyes meeting Rocket as he walks, “Sure!” she beams.

He walks to the big crate in the kitchen filled with Rocket’s alcohol. As he rummages through it, taking a mental inventory, he calls over his shoulder to Willie, “What’ll it be blondie? Beer, vodka, tequila? I got it all in here.”

Her shoulders drop and she bites her lip, “Uhm, Rocket…”

Willie’s tone of voice instantly reminds him of something and he scrunches up his face in embarrassment. He curses under his breath for being so stupid and stands up to face her, “I’m so sorry. I totally forgot about the whole ‘recovering alcoholic’ thing.”

He rubs the back of his head nervously and points a thumb over his shoulder at the fridge, “You want something else, I got a lot of st-”

Straightening her shoulders and with a determined face Willie almost barks, “No. You know what? Fuck it. Get me that vodka.”

Shocked, Rocket blinks a couple times before stuttering, “Uhm, o-okay. Coming right up.” He grabs his and hers drinks with some glasses and sits back at the table, pouring them each a drink.

She almost snatches the glass off the table and stares into the clear liquid, wondering if this was a good idea. She mumbles something Rocket doesn’t understand under her breath and extends her glass to Rocket, “Here’s to four centuries of sobriety, right down the fucking toilet.”

Rocket contemplates letting her take a drink but decides it’s best not to argue with her and meets her toast. They both take a drink. Rocket only empties his glass less than a quarter of the way but when he puts his down, he sees Willie completely emptied hers in one go. His eyes go wide as she goes to refill her own glass.

“You know, vodka was the thing I always drank before I quit,” she glances up at Rocket briefly before turning hungrily back to the clear substance.

“Oh yeah?” Rocket asks, taking another sip from his glass.

She nods, “Yup. Drank it all the time. All the time.” She finishes her pour and sets the bottle down between them, “I’d be drinking by ten in the morning. Sometimes I’d sneak it into my coffee, or my tea, or even have a flask in my coat to steal drinks from, anything to keep it a secret from the guy I was living with at the time.”

Willie lifts the glass and downs half of it before continuing, “But when I really drank, I’d go to this little night club in Harlem. Small little Russian owned place, and since I had helped the owner with something a while back, he’d let me drink for free sometimes there, others I’d get a discount. Man would I drink. I’d drink until I blacked out, only to wake up next to someone I didn’t know. Sometimes I’d get drunk and I’d have a bottle of this shit in my hand and blow up my nose.”

Shaking her head before finishing her glass she speaks softly, “I was so lost back then...”

Rocket reaches to refill her, “So you were a drunk, it’s no big deal. I’m a drunk and you still ride with me.”

She sits back watching the raccoon, “Yeah but you don’t get it. The way drinking made me feel, the escape it gives me, I was hooked. But here I am, giving into it again,” she gives a sad smile before grabbing her drink and chugging the whole thing, slamming it back on the table.

Christ this woman can drink, Rocket thinks to himself as he refills the glass yet again.

The sadness in her face seems to grow the more she drinks and Rocket wonders if maybe he should put his foot down and stop her from making any big mistakes, “You’re a good man Rocket,” she says as she drinks from her fourth glass.

He chuckles, unsure of what else to do, “I don’t know about that.”

She downs another swallow and coughs, her voice becoming slightly hoarse from the burning drink, “I mean it,” she starts, “you’re smart and you know what the fuck you’re doing. You could do anything you wanted. Question is,” she leans forward and lowers her voice, “why the fuck are you dicking around with me?”

Rocket laughs nervously, realizing Willie is already drunk off her ass, “Why wouldn’t I?”

Willie sips the last of what was left and starts, tears welling up in her eyes, “Because I’m fucking worthless, because I’m a monster…” she pauses before whispering, “because I don’t even deserve to be alive right now…”

“What the hell are you talking about, you’r-” Rocket starts.

“Don’t fucking pull that shit on me,” Willie barks. “I should have died all those years ago in the war. When they took my home, they should have taken me.” A tear falls down her face and she sniffles, “But they didn’t, the universe let me, me of all people, live. I just don’t get it. I killed and fucking ate my own kind and I was allowed to live?”

“Willie-”

“No!” She sits up, “Do you know what it feels like to live your life as me, completely alone, knowing you can’t die. No matter how hard you try?” She yells this last piece, the tears flowing from her face freely now. She’s abandoned her drink as she slouches back in the chair, averting her gaze from Rocket, “I can’t even resist a damn glass of vodka…”

There’s a moment of silence that Rocket realizes even his hard wit can’t fill. He begins to slowly gather up the bottle and glasses, putting them in their respective places.

When he’s finished, he turns to check on Willie but finds her gone, presumably to her room for the night. He checks his watch, the small device reading that is was in fact late.

The raccoon makes his way to his own room, preparing himself for bed. As he lays down into his blankets he hears noises from the next room over. Instead of muttering in her sleep, Willie is sobbing and quite loudly. Thinking of nothing else to do, Rocket drifts off to sleep himself, his heart aching and his journal untouched.

***

The next morning he wakes up before Willie and waits for her quietly and nervously in the kitchen a coffee for himself and one ready for her should she need it.

When she walks out, she’s dressed, still in the same clothes from last night, an indicator she slept in them. She squints her eyes, grimacing at the bright light as she runs a hand through her tousled and ratted bed head.

“Mornin’,” was all Rocket muttered.

Willie sees how upset he is and realizes she needs to make this quick, to save them both. “Rocket,” he looks up from the untouched mug in front of him, “I have to apologize. My… outburst last night was uncalled for. I said some things last night that were very personal and that was my fault. I shouldn’t have given in to the alcohol.”

She looks down at her feet and back up, “And that’s why I’m leaving as soon as we dock in two days.”

Brown eyes going wide Rocket almost chokes on the moisture in his mouth, “You what?”

Sitting down in front of him, Willie gives him sorry eyes, “Rocket you don’t need me around. You’d be so much better off without someone like me hanging around. I can’t stay,” she reach out and cups his face, rubbing a calloused thumb on his cheek, “I’m sorry.”

The blond stands up and begins to walk out when Rocket jumps from his seat, sending the chair flying back a foot or two, “Bullshit,” he shouts.

Willie stops but keeps her back to him as he continues, “That’s bullshit and you know it.” His heart is beating at a million miles a second and he can feel tears welling up in his own eyes.

Looking back coldly over her shoulder the Gallifreyan firmly speaks, “Rocket, I’m leaving and that’s final.”

He scampers to her front, forcing her to look at him, “No you’re not.”

“And why the hell not?” At this point Willie is puffing up, trying to scare the raccoon. Anything to make him hate her.

“B-because… Because…” he stutters.

“Because why Rocket? Because we’re friends? Because we’re partners? Well, I hate to break it you, but not a damn bit of that matters to me. I’m leaving. Be glad I’m doing it now before I get you killed.” She angrily pushes past him and keeps walking.

Frantically thinking of anything to prevent her from going to pack her bags, Rocket’s eyes dart to differently places on the floor as his thoughts race.

Eventually he blurts, “You can’t leave because I love you.”

As he said those words, his voice cracked a little and the second they were out, his eyes went wide as he comprehended what he just said. Willie stops dead in her tracks once again, turning on her heel to face him, “What?”

Realizing he’s said it and can’t take it back, Rocket runs with it, “I love you Willie. I love your smile. I love your hair. I love your laugh. I love how you make me feel normal when you talk to me,” his voice gets dangerously low, “I love you and you can’t leave me.”

Her shoulders losing their tenseness, Willie slowly makes her way to the raccoon and kneels before him, making them eye level. “Rocket… sweetie… that’s really stupid of you.”

He lays a paw on her arm revelling in the touch of her skin, despite all the scars, “No it’s not. It’s-”

She pushes his hand away, “Did you not hear a word I said last night? I may have been hammered drunk but every bit was true.”

Putting his hand back and adding another one to her free arm, he counters, “The hell it was. You are no monster blondie. If anyone’s a monster it would be me and you were the one who made me realize even that’s not true.” He reaches up to her face, “Willie, you are the only one who makes me feel happy. My life was complete shit when I met you but that first time you called me ‘big man,’ I felt like the most powerful being in the galaxy. I can’t let that go and I’m not letting you go.”

He glances down and then back up to her deep blue eyes, “Please stay? I need you.”

Willie closes her eyes and stands, “Rocket,” she says in a tone that made him feel like his heart was going to shatter, “honey, this,” she gestures between them both, “us, wouldn’t work.”

Ears drooping, Rocket feels like he could just curl up into a ball and die right there. “And trust me,” Willie keeps going,”it’s not because of you, or what you are. It’s all me and who I am. Maybe in a different time and different place, I would give it a shot but right now…” she sighs, “I just can’t.”

She lowers her voice, trying to comfort him best she can, “I’ve got baggage. Baggage on baggage on baggage and I don’t want to put that on you okay?” he sighs, keeping his watery eyes to the floor away from her, “You’re a great guy Rocket. But me? You don’t want me. Trust me.”

“Fine,” he spits, “you don’t love me, just admit it. I was stupid for ever saying anything. I should just let you go if you want to leave so bad.”

Willie kneels back down, “No no no. It’s not like that at all, I do care about you a lot. Just not in the way you might want me to.” She bites her lip and sighs. “Look at me,” he reluctantly does so, “I’ll wait until we get to Knowhere to make my final decision. If in that time I decide that I should stay, I will, if not, I won’t. Okay?” she lifts a blond eyebrow waiting for a response.

He nods, “Fine.” Willie’s lips turn up in the corners and she leans in to touch them to the top of the raccoon’s head. “You’re so sweet.” she whispers.

As she stretches back again to standing position, she looks down at her ruffled clothes, “Why don’t I go change and we’ll cook something alright?”

Rocket lets a smile sit on his own face, “Take a bath too why don’t you? You smell like something dead.”

She laughs and shakes her head, turning to leave.

The raccoon watches her go, a glimmer of hope in his lonely heart.

#rocket raccoon x reader #rocket raccoon x ofc #rocket raccoon #gotg #gotgvol2 #guardians of the galaxy #marvel #x reader #peter quill #gamora #drax #mantis #groot #writing #ofc

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sueboohscorner · 7 years

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#Empire S3 EP16: Absent Child~ Recap & Review *Lyons vs Dubois*

Man, this episode was full of fire on so many levels. I have to rate this episode a (10). Here is why....

This episode gave us a slap that even I felt, lovers to enemies, a revenge attack, touching moments and as always an OMG moment.

Two powerful families have a meeting to discuss a clap back gone too far. The Lyons vs The Dubois. Ms. Dubois begin to speak but her lawyer interjects. Of course, he suggested the Lyons speak first. Cookie's agitation with the Dubois family has her OG temperament turned up to 1000. Cookie and Lucious makes it clear to the Dubois Family, they know they had Bella taken. Ms. Dubois calls herself chastising Lucious tone of voice as if he was her child. Cookie response to that was, " Bitch do you want me to jump across this table." Not surprise by Ms. Dubois comeback either, "you feeling froggy so leap. Man, I would love to see Cookie and Ms. Dubois have a little cat fight. Something tells me Ms. Dubois had her share of OG moments, she just classy with it.

Feelings are very emotional for The Lyon Family. Thirsty gives his statement about how this is about a child. Hakeem is missing from this meeting. According to Thirsty, Bella being taken has him distorted. Angelo say his family had nothing to do with Bella being taken. Jamaal points out the $5 million dollar check his family took for this war between the families to be over. Maybe $5 million wasn't enough. Jamaal seems like he is disappointed in Angelo. How much pay back does the Dubois Family want? Jamaal makes a point that the Dubois has scooped so low in having Bella taken. As a Dubois family member begins to speak, Andre makes it clear to Lucious; that's Ezekiel Dubois which is Snoop's banker. Remember, he told Snoop it wasn't good timing to invest in the Inferno project. Ezekiel stated the Lyons caused Angelo his career. I agree with Jamaal, politics and taking a baby are two different things. Don't fight that dirty by involving a innocent child. Everyone emotions take over the meeting. Anika tells everyone to shut up. With tears in her eyes, Anika begs for help with finding her child and getting her child back. Ms. Dubois has the most sincere look on her face as she apologize to Anika. She basically tells Anika she is guilty by association. As Ms. Dubois rambles about her family connection, Lucious cuts her off. He see this meeting is a waste of time. Lucious called the Dubois family clap back fancy, lmao. However, he makes it clear his family clap back hits real hard. For a second, everyone sits in silence. Ms. Dubois tells Anika she has no idea what happened to her child. Cookie know she is lying. She asked, "Do y'all really want to go down that road?" That devilish look and that smirky smile on Cookie's face means danger coming.

Anika, Hakeem and Thirsty is waiting to be seen at the Child Protection Services Office. Anika sits blaming herself and feeling like her bad deeds has caused Bella to suffer. Hakeem shows maturity by telling her to not be so hard on herself. Bella was suppose to be release to Anika but now Bella is MIA. Motions has been filed on Bella's case with no knowledge of who did it. The social worker's supervisor said according to the motions, it will be months before they see Bella. Hakeem gets very upset. "Last name Lyon, first name Bella. Last name Lyon, first name Bella. Find my daughter", Hakeem said aggressively. We have seen Hakeem be a spoil brat for season 1 and 2. We now see him loving someone other then his self. Children can have that affect on you.

Back at the Lyon mansion, Cookie and Lucious discuss the difference in the Lyon family and the Dubois. Cookie points out the Dubois has a power they haven't seen before. Lucious point out they are a monster they haven't seen before. The Dubois is winning this war because they are a powerful family that sticks together. Cookie understands and knows the weakness of their family. The Lyons stay divided so much and that's their weakness as a family. Cookie tells Lucious they have to do better but it's not in them. Thirsty tells them they underestimated the Dubois. On paper, none of the Lyons are fit to take care of a child. Lucious and Anika marriage has to end quickly that's the only hope to get Bella back. Until Bella is returned, the family has to stay out of trouble and stick together. Yes they can come together in a crisis. Can they truly stay out of trouble and peaceful with each other while in that crisis? I don't think so because this Vegas deal is a big issue.

Lucious is preparing to take back his throne. Jamaal stops by hoping to catch a sneak peek. Lucious decides to do a remix to the track him and Jamaal did. Lucious wants to put a rapper on the track but Jamaal isn't feeling that. Lucious always take over. Jamaal is talented and he is also creative. Lucious calls Jamaal's approach soft. Shots fired as always. Against his judgement, Jamaal agrees to meet with Lucious and the rapper he wants on the track. Don't know why Lucious can't let it be?

I was so happy to see Porsha. Porsha hasn't been in many scenes this season. Cookie is talking to Porsha about getting When Cookie Met Lucious approval from Lucious for Vegas. Shine and Andre enters Cookie's apartment. Cookie has her plan in motion for the Vegas deal. It also looks like she has a plan for getting her grandbaby back. Shine is worried about his position with Empire. His last name isn't Lyon so how does Cookie plan work for him? Andre is on edge. Looks like Andre is losing control. His only desire is to kill Lucious. Shine leaves before he has to kill Andre. Cookie tells Andre to get proactive and call his doctor. Lmao, at Porsha. She tried telling Andre she has a doctor. Cookie yells, "Shut up Porsha. Mind your business."

Jamaal arrives to the studio to find no rapper. The rapper allegedly got shot 4 times. Jamaal is like the pot just thickens. Lucious feels the shooting wasn't confirmed so the meeting still happening. In walks the rapper for the track. What do you know, the rapper is Fetty Wap. He in the studio on crunches and a bandage on his arm. His shooting was just confirmed. Jamaal sees him popping pills for his pain. Was that a flashback for him? As Fetty begins rapping, his wounds begin to bleed. Jamaal is concerned but Lucious see it as hunger. Jamaal agrees the rapper is dope but the track isn't right. Lucious always finds away to take shots at his sons. He compares Jamaal getting shot one time to Fetty's character being shot four times and in the studio working. But Jamaal shot back shut it down. He asked, "how many of y'all been shot before". Everyone in the studio raised there hand but Lucious. Boom!!! Jamaal isn't backing down from Lucious. He makes his point about Lucious not dealing with his father being shot, him taking a bullet for him and that he knows music better then Lucious think. Jamaal isn't as soft as Lucious be thinking.

Okay! Andre has snapped. I guess Andre said forget the pills and lost his mind. He really has nothing to lose so that makes him so dangerous. He blames Lucious for everything but he also has unfinished business with another person. Anika thinks it's Lucious walking in the office. Nope it's Andre. Funny seeing husband and wife playing such a violent scene. Their characters are far from who they are; which makes this interesting. Anika must have thought Andre forgave her. He locks the door and tell her they have unfinished business. Anika played it off but Andre reminds her of all her dirty deeds with killing his wife and baby. I was scared the way he grabbed and slammed her on the table. He was ready to make Anika feel his build up of rage. Somebody need to feel his wrath since it can't be Lucious. She saved herself. She confess she sold her soul and now her daughter paying the price. Now, Andre felt that was suffering enough. He didn't kill her. He told her now suffer like I do. I don't think this is over. If they get Bella back, Andre will seek his revenge on Anika some way and some how. That's how it should go down in my eyes. I will be shock if this was the end of that. Hakeem is at home and worried about his daughter. He wants to be alone and kicks everyone out his condo.

Cookie and Andre has a meeting with Marcon. Andre is annoyed with Cookie. Cookie is trying to sell the When Cookie Met Lucious story as the opening act for Vegas. Cookie is including Lucious in this deal but Andre is trying to exclude Lucious. Andre is determined to take Lucious deal. I mean it was his deal from the start. Lucious wanted no part of Vegas. Marcon wants Lucious. That's it and that's all. I have a funny feeling this deal isn't a good one for Lucious. Hakeem goes live expressing wanting his daughter back. He points out the Dubois had something to do with her being taken. His rap had me so teary eye. His expression of not having his daughter pulls at your heart strings. As always, Hakeem music makes an impact on his fans. Just as Ms. Dubois admit to not having the baby and Angelo not wanting this all to get out of control; a mob of fans comes running up chanting Free Bella and holding free Bella signs.

Lucious feeling bad for Bella being taken. He doesn't feel like all of the family problems and issues is his fault. He asked his mother was he a good father. Mama Leah said, " You not even a good person". CTFU!!!! Sad but true, Lucious agreed with her.

Andre and Cookie have a heated talk about Lucious and the Vegas deal. Cookie feel they need Lucious to close this deal. Andre feels they don't. He feels Cookie will always protect Lucious. Sadly, Andre is right; she will. Andre has been pushed to no returned at this point. I see him taking down his entire family if he need to in order to kill Lucious. Even tho Cookie is on point about Giuliana. Giuliana is about to burn Lucious again. Andre agrees but he doesn't care. Nessa comes to Andre defense. Man, she should have kept her mouth close. She tells Cookie she shouldn't brought Lucious in on the Vegas deal. Followed by Andre is grown and you can't talk to him like that. Cookie asked Andre to understand what she was about to do. Before you know it, Cookie slaps Nessa so hard my face hurts. Nessa might need a dentist. Cookie makes one last attempt to get Andre to understand, without doing things her way....they will lose everything.

CHECK OUT THE SLAP OF ALL SLAPS SCENE

Lucious is playing the piano when Mama Leah comes in with a box. She show Lucious pictures of his father. She feel she would have been a much better mother if he didn't get killed and Lucious would be a better person. She feels violence made him who he is. Lucious feels he should have help his father. His mother said then he would have got killed to. He compare his lack of courage to help his father to Jamaal courage to help him. Jamaal is special as she told Lucious; but I don't think Lucious put no light in him. This was a touching moment to see Lucious have with his mother. She maybe crazy but you can see she love her son. Mama Leah gave Lucious the comfort he needed.

Jamaal goes on his rant about their track. Lucious tried to interrupt him. After Jamaal finish, Lucious showed him the studio. The studio was filled with pictures of his father. Lucious decided to do the song Jamaal's way. I guess what his mother told him touched some part of him. I must admit, Jamaal and Lucious working together is powerful. Remember when he selected Jamaal to run Empire. The track was done and Lucious had a smile on his face.

Andre brings Hakeem to the laundromat. Cookie isn't feeling Hakeem being there. She makes Andre take Hakeem out of there. What do you know? Cookie had Shine to grab Angelo. Angelo was tied up and beaten. Angelo tries to talk sense into Cookie. Angelo admits he was hurt but he would never go that low to take her granddaughter. Cookie tells Angelo, "Everything your mama said about me was right." She ordered Angelo to talk to his mother. She walks out leaving Shine and his crew to make her point more clear to Angelo.

Cookie tells Lucious she doesn't think Angelo is in on taking Bella. She went straight OG on Angelo and he confessed to nothing. Cookie tells Lucious that When Cookie Met Lucious will be on the stage in Vegas. She admit to talking to Marcon. She tried to convince Lucious they need to stick together as a family. Their disconnect as a family caused them a blind attack. Cookie tried to get him to see her plan is a win win for the family. Empire gets the casino and Lucious gets the show. In walks Giuliana worrying about what she gets. Marcon informed her of the meeting he had with Cookie. She came back just to make sure Lucious does what she wants him to do. Like her puppet, Lucious tells Cookie Inferno is the Vegas deal. Lucious picked his self and Giuliana over his family. Cookie tells Lucious, "I did 17 years for you". Giuliana said, " Thank you for that. I will take it from here". Girl bye!!! Cookie should have slapped her mouth closed. Lucious sat there and said nothing. Unbelievable how he picking a woman who has betrayed him over a woman who has always had his back. You can't say who is the mother of his kids because he treats his sons like crap as well. See, this is why Cookie needs to just let Andre lose on Lucious. Lucious only cares about Lucious. He has no sense of family. Every time you think he is putting their needs first, he always backstab you and put his need first. How much love does he have for Giuliana? Hmmmmmm!

Nessa and Andre talk. She realize Andre has used her to his ability. The Vegas deal has no spot for her. Nessa was disrespected by Cookie, Tori took her song and Giuliana offered him Vegas. Andre did nothing to defend Nessa and was ready to sleep with Giuliana. Nessa isn't Rhonda. Nessa doesn't understand Andre is a ticking time bomb. His family is his target especially his father. Andre tried to convince Nessa that it all can work out for her. He kisses Nessa but she pushes him away and starts hitting him. I am confused, is she in love with Andre or mad he didn't further her career? She calls Andre crazy and that he is.

Angelo wasn't killed. He vowed to have every Lyon thrown in jail. After getting his wounds medical attention from his mama, Angelo wanted to go to the police. At the ring of a bell we get that OMG moment of the episode. Extraordinary times calls for extraordinary measures in the words of Diana Dubois. The shocking look on Angelo's face when he see a woman come in the room, pushing a stroller with Bella inside. Omgggg!!! Will Angelo scoop to his mother level or will he remember the love he once had for Cookie? How can you have a foundation to help underprivileged kids but kidnap a baby? What will Angelo do especially after being tortured for information? Will he give Bella back?

Empire really has us on the edge of our seats. The next two episodes have to be explosive. Don't know about you but I can't wait. Stay tune!!

If you missed this episode, you can catch it on Comcast On Demand or Fox Now App.

SNEAK PEEK OF PART 1 of TOILS AND TROUBLE

SNEAK PEEK OF PART 2 of TOILS AND TROUBLE~ A HEIST

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Editor: Lattice Johnson

#Empire #fox #terrencehoward #jussiesmollet #EmpireS3 #tarajiphenson #wednesdaynighttv #leedaniels

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