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notyourramona · 1 year ago

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Chapter 2 of Stages of Me

Tensions increase as characters do not see eye to eye like they used to. Main character struggles to feel respected by her crewmates while some of them desperately just try to reconnect with MC.

Word count: 7,516

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18+(for future chapters)

Minor Crimson Fleet spoilers thus far.

Chapter one

His boots were propped on the console and his hat tipped to cover a part of his face as the ship flew itself into the stars. Sam was trying his best to hush all the noise that was at the forefront of his thoughts in this moment and it was becoming extremely difficult. The new ship felt impersonable and cold but he knew it was because of his knee jerk hesitance to accept change at first. Still, he wasn’t fond of the new knowledge of how the ship was obtained and he was even less fond of how the last conversation he had tried to have with Ghoul turned into another argument. He knew what he was trying to say it was just the delivery, per usual, came out wrong. She didn’t have to subjugate her life to those dark impulses out of necessity any longer. It felt like he was a witness of how much of her soul was being drained from the perpetual motion of events she put herself through. If it wasn’t pushing her body through stars know what when she made physical contact with the Artifacts; it was the alcohol or drugs, even if she tried to deny the use of them, that deteriorated the real version of Ghoul he knew months ago. The version of her that pulled him in with such intensity as if they were two stars who were succumbing to a gravitational pull to come together as one. He could still taste her sweet lips on his tongue when he looked at her sometimes and it pained him that she never really acknowledged what happened between them. It wasn’t like Sam expected a commitment after one kiss but he knew deep down they had some chemistry. Some very real chemistry and that chemistry was slowly turning into tension that was repelling both of them as fast as they started colliding.

Chapter 2: Hemostasis pt. 2

“Dad.” Corra’s voice interrupted his thoughts and honestly, he was relieved she did. He slowly sat his body back into a normal sitting position to give his daughter his full attention while also trying to ignore the stiffness in his joints.

“Yeah kiddo?” He said fondly.

“Do you miss the Frontier?” She asked and he was curious where this line of questioning was going to go. Corra was standing there hugging herself nervously and it then occurred to Sam that his little girl was having some goodbye blues.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I do. Come here, sweat pea.” He always made sure to be as honest with her as was appropriate. She may have had a birthday recently but she was always going to be his little girl. She approached him with a bit of a scuffle and when she got close enough, he stood and gave her an Ashta sized hug. “It has only been a couple hours but I do miss the coziness of the ship. It was our home away from home.”

“I miss it a lot already too.” Corra looked up to him. “You looked sad, like you missed it too.” Now that last line surprised him and he started to stammer a bit.

“Uh, well. I didn’t think I looked that sad now.” Sam always did his best to shield her from any of his woes and he was just grateful she thought it was because of the ship and not the real reason. That was a conversation if he could avoid forever, he would.

“But this new ship is really nice and I think it will grow on the both of us. Captain has some good taste but don’t tell her I said that. It might get to her head.” He pointed to his own head when he said that for emphasis and to get a small chuckle out of his daughter.

Corra did respond to him with that little joyous laugh of hers and he could see that the small joke had eased a some of her distress from her mind. That was enough for Sam and one of the main reason’s he loved telling her his little silly jokes even when she would get embarrassed by him.

“Thanks dad.” She squeezed her arms around him one more time before she let go. “I am almost done organizing all of my books! I have so much more room for new books now!”

“Is that so?” He raised his eyebrow as his hands instinctively went to rest onto the belt that held his pants. It felt like a default position for him most times and occasionally brought him the most comfort for some reason. “Well, we will see how well you keep up with your area of the room and with your chores on the ship and maybe. And hear me when I say maybe, you will get a larger booker allowance.” Corra squealed a bit with delight and did a small twirl of excitement. Sam knew right then and there he was most definitely going to have to increase her book allowance anyway because once she had her mind on something she was going to find a way to get it.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best Dad!” Corra hugged him one more time before skipping away and seemingly forgetting she was even upset about The Frontier. The conversation had distracted him as well and it was one of the many things, he appreciated about being a father. No matter how distraught things felt some days he knew that as long as Corra was set up with a better future that was all that mattered. In fact, it was the driving point for him to come clean with a lot of his older habits and for him to quit his binge days on Neon. He stood alone in the cockpit once more and a part of him had the urge to just start walking. Sam followed his feet through the hallways of the ship and in the distance, he heard faint whispering. It was then he realized his intent was to try to reconnect with Ghoul again even if it was to just for them both to hash it out until they were on the same page again. He hated seeing her so defensive and to watch her slowly push him away. Sam was hoping desperately there would be a point very soon that made her see that he truly cared about her enough to stop her from hurting herself and it wasn’t a ploy to control what she does. It reminded him of himself within the first weeks before he decided to come clean. The world felt like it was after him for simply just trying to live but in reality, he wasn’t living at all. His boots echoed within the hall and the whispering ahead soon stopped and he heard Andreja speak with confidence about something.

Sam looked ahead and saw that Andreja was close to Ghoul even from where she stood and something about that closeness gave him a ping of jealousy. He knew they heard him come in when Andreja had looked at him in a skeptical gaze that she liked to give people. It was when her brows furrowed a fraction but her brown eyes looked as if they were daring you to challenge her.

“Wake me up when we arrive. Sarah ordered me to rest.” Ghoul spoke and that was when Sam noticed how annoyed Ghoul looked even with her eyes closed. In that moment Sam chickened out from his original plan of confronting her and walked over to the kitchenette to make a fresh cup of coffee. They only had about four cups to chose from and the closest one was a red coffee mug that said ‘I’m a House Va’ruun Spy’. Sam started to heat up the water in their electric kettle so he could at least have instant coffee and while he waited his fingers gently tapped the counter.

“Do you want to me to watch the ship?” Andreja said softly as she stood next to Sam and it almost made him jump because he didn’t even hear her walk up. Her stealth skills always got the best of him when he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings.

“Uh.” It was that moment he had realized that while he was so lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t greeted either of them when he walked in. It wasn’t like he had to but he was trying extremely hard to play it cool even if his mind was all over the place. If he didn’t think Andreja could kick his ass with a few close-combat moves he would have liked to take a moment to try to interrogate her about what she was thinking when she agreed to encourage their captain to play cards on The Key. Andreja, out of all of them, was normally the strict personality with the least amount of morally grey qualities to her so it made even less sense that she was okay with being there any more than he would of.

“Yeah, if you are comfortable with it. I could use a bite to eat and a wink of sleep myself.” Andreja was now leaning back onto the other side of the counter they were both standing at and her arms were crossed as she watched him make the cup of coffee. He thought for a moment he saw a small smile appear on her face after she had read what the mug had said but he was also serious about needing a bit of sleep so he could have imagined it.

“Piloting isn’t my expertise but considering it’s mostly going to be in autopilot from here out I think I can manage.” She said with a bit of humor in her voice. Andreja had taken a quick peek at Ghoul for a moment before she continued and the notion made Sam brace himself. Then she softly spoke to him. “I won’t pretend I do not know what is going on but I also know nothing I will say will make much of a difference.”

“Then why say anything at all?” Sam said with a passiveness that slipped before he could stop himself. He took a sip of his coffee to try to ignore that happened.

“Because you both happen to have grown on me very much and I am not enjoying how long this conflict is lasting. You need to let her learn on her own.”

“Yeah, and how long will that be?”

“As long as it takes.” Andreja shrugged as if it was an obvious answer. “You forget she didn’t have a someone lay a foundation for her when she was younger like some of us. We both may have not had the best of families but at least we had one.”

Sam thought about Jacob Coe for a moment and hated that he couldn’t disagree with her even if he didn’t really have fond memories of his father. He didn’t know the details about Andreja’s past but had an idea that she grew up like some of the LIST families do just outside of the Settled Systems, independent and all alone out there.

“There comes a time where you have to accept responsibility for your actions no matter what your past has been like.” He said with conviction. Sam could hear the harshness in his tone but he truly believed Ghoul was bigger than what she has been through. Hell, he had seen her recover from the worst with his own eyes and he was more than willing to be the anchor she needed to keep herself grounded. Andreja sighed at him and stopped leaning on the counter transforming her stance into something a bit more intimidating. Sam couldn’t tell if she was doing that subconsciously or purposely.

“I think you should consider being… softer with your approach. I know she may not always be in the right but I believe in her to make the right choices when it comes down to it.” Andreja’s accent was emphasizing her words and her eyes burned with a confidence in their Captain. Sam rarely saw that passion within her unless it was to slay their enemies so he knew in this moment she was talking from the heart. Sam was mulling over what Andreja had said for a moment. Ghoul did say some really fucked up shit to him earlier today but he also was the one who came off more judgmental than he intended. They both heard a small gasp and it made them both tense up as they turned to see Ghoul sitting awake and covered in sweat.

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The feeling of falling overwhelmed Ghoul’s nervous system as she suddenly sat awake from her deep slumber. It was easier to blame the lack of sleep on a small ship with no room on it than to acknowledge the fact that some of her nightmares had slowly been coming back again. There was a time period in the beginning of her travels where she seemed to be free of the terrors her dreams brought her but lately it felt like her brain was trying to plague her all over again. Her skin felt sticky in sweat and she applied pressure to her face with her hands in an attempt to soothe herself for the moment, to feel she was real. Ghoul felt eyes on her and it distracted her enough from her nightmare.

“I’m fine.” Her hands muffled her voice but she didn’t bother to wait for them to ask. Their concern was written on their faces as if she was shot and bleeding out. The both of them could be overbearing when they worked together and it was something she both loved yet hated.

“That seems to be your new catchphrase.” Sam said sarcastically at her before he went on with whatever he was doing in the first place. Ghoul dropped her hands from her face just to roll her eyes at him. She enjoyed that they each had their own bed at this point but she thought about having bigger goals next time like for everyone to get their own rooms in the next upgrade. Andreja had yet to say anything to Ghoul and honestly, she appreciated it because Andreja was skilled with knowing when words were preferred or not. Ghoul pushed herself off her bed and tried to fix her bed hair and smooth out her clothing.

“Are we close to Cydonia? How long was I out?” Ghoul looked around the ship to see if there was a clock but she remembered the Constellation watch on her left wrist and it showed she had only been out for 25 minutes. That newfound knowledge made her want to scream. “Never mind.”

“I was heading to the cockpit to take over for Sam unless you wanted to operate the ship, Captain.” Andreja offered and that was when Ghoul realized none of them were attending the ship. Sam had heated up something and was sitting at the table, stuffing his face full of brown gravy and some kind of meat. Even if the sight of that goop made her want to gag, she couldn’t blame him because they didn’t have a lot of time to eat on the last planet. Ghoul couldn’t tell if Andreja either really didn’t want to man the new ship or she knew Ghoul would rather be distracted after waking up like that.

“Yeah, good idea.” Ghoul’s hand found itself tangled in her hair once again and then on the back of her neck subconsciously trying to release some of the tension. “I’ll go do that. You both should rest, you deserve it.” Her last line is what caught the attention of Sam before she finally walked her way to the cockpit as she snapped and clapped her hands. Her eyes felt heavy but she was going to do her best to be in a better mood than earlier.

The cockpit was dark but all of the controls and buttons were lit up in different shades of green, yellow, white, and red for their various categories. When Ghoul sat in the blue faux leather chair, she felt her body relax into it as if it was made for her. The captain’s chair on this ship was bigger and it was just another benefit this ship had to offer that gave her pride for being able to pull this big purchase off. Though there was a lot to marvel in front of her, her mind felt clouded and heavy as she sat there with the accumulation of all her thoughts. She regretted not grabbing herself a cup of coffee before manning the ship but she knew it was only a bit of time before her mind would clear again.

She went to prop her feet on the dash and as she did, she accidentally kicked a switch that triggered a chain of events that abruptly caused the ship to lurch forward a bit and stop in place. Ghoul herself fell face forward onto the console with a rough smack and the sharp pain from impact made her hiss.

“Damnit.” She growled at herself and she looked out ahead into the stars to see if she could tell where they stopped. That was when she noticed this ship’s dash had the navigation center built in to the left of her and she was excited about the convenience of this. It indicated that there were just on the outskirts of the Sol system and that provided some relief. The feeling soon ended as she watched two Va’ruun ships warp into their field of vision. Ghoul was trying to think quickly on whether it was smarter to go in hot or cut the power to the engines and hope they didn’t pick them up.

“What is that?” Ghoul heard Sam ask as Andreja, and Corra walked behind him into the room of the cockpit to see what exactly caused that minor malfunction of the ship. Ghoul was a bit embarrassed about knocking them out of warp in such a silly manner but she didn’t have time to be coy.

“Two House Va’ruun ships warped into the same space we just did and I accidentally kicked the ship out of autopilot.” Ghoul said with composure as she initiated the process to power down the ship to its minimum output levels. It felt like it was taking her longer than usual to perform this particular task because she had yet had an opportunity to go over the controls before she took her very short nap. She found herself looking for the reactor gauge for a moment and Sam silently pointed to it as if he read her mind. She gave him a grateful smile as she finished up the process. There were two passenger seats that sat one on each side of the captain’s chair and Andreja and Sam got in their positions without question or further context.

“Hey Kiddo, my mind would be at ease if I knew you were buckled up over there.” Ghoul said to Corra with a softness she only reserved for the tiny Coe. Corra didn’t say a word but immediately sat in one of the extra seats behind the three of them. Ghoul caught Sam giving her a smile of gratitude while he finished setting up his own buckles. She knew that Corra was less likely to ask questions if Ghoul said something from her captain’s chair because that kid knew when it she was giving orders from the chair it was go-time.

“Plan?” Andreja asked as she stared at the other ships with disgust. Ghoul knowing why she would make that face looked at Andreja with a subtle sympathy.

“I would prefer not to get a scratch on our new ship but if we are detected we are most likely going to have to blast them out of space.” Ghoul now went into command mode and it was a role she was felt comfortable in when they got into situations like these. “Sam please keep an eye on ship vitals and you have a better shot so I will switch missiles to your seat. Andreja ballistics will be your friend today and if I cannot get us to warp before being caught then I guess we are going to see how much mobility this ship really has today.” In a unison they both said ‘Aye, Captain’ and took over their positions while Ghoul slowly begun to move the ship forward.

“Corra, please grab the spacesuit above you and put it on while the ship is still stable. I am sure your father would rather us be safe than sorry.” Ghoul threw the command behind her before locking her eyes on the path ahead. The ship was larger than the Frontier had felt and she could feel how sensitive the throttle systems were. It was a delicate balance of not using too much power to be detected but still make some progress to get out of their scanner radius. Over the comms they could hear the enemy ships hail each other and it sounded like that were looking for something in particular.

“Easy now.” Sam whispered to Ghoul after her hand slipped and pushed the ship forward a little too fast. The enemy thankfully was still unaware of their presence and if she could help it, she would keep it that way till the very end. The three of them were feeling the immense pressure to not make a sound and be a hair trigger a way from engaging with hostile ships. The time seemed to be dragging out as they were getting closer to their targeted area to warp out. Ghoul could taste victory on the tip of her tongue.

“What’s that?! Get them!” They heard the voices of the Va’ruun ships come through the comms and Ghoul’s heart sank as she quickly begun to power up the Longsword. She was really hoping she wouldn’t have to fight in her new baby today but it looks like the universe had other plans for her, as per usual.

“Fuck” She cursed under her breath as she tried to control her initial reaction. The last thing Ghoul wanted to do was alarm Corra and she could see that Andreja and Sam were both doing their best to stay commposed. “Weapons ready?”

“Missiles.” Sam confirmed.

“Ballistics.” Andreja confirmed as well.

“Well let’s see how she flies.” Ghoul said as she heard the ship warm up to the new surge of power. She applied full force to the thrusters and they begun their path to the other two ships.

“Fuck now there are three of them!” The enemy ships yelled and that statement took the three crew members by surprise. Behind the two Va’ruun ships were two Crimson Fleet vessels and they didn’t appear to be the usual outfitted Crimson Fleet ships.

“Andreja please run a scan on those ships.” Ghoul commanded and her body tensed with anticipation till she saw the ship IDs within the scanner. Those identification numbers were eerily similar to ones she had been reading about earlier and then the realization hit her. It was Delgado and Naeva. She felt her heart sink.

“Sam, remember that conversation we had about those of us who are on a need-to-know bases?” Ghoul leaned into him and asked softly so Corra wouldn’t hear them. She knew even if the tiny Coe did, she most likely wouldn’t figure out what they were talking about. Sam caught the cue and even though he didn’t look extremely pleased he went ahead to unbuckle himself from position.

“Get us the hell out of here as quickly as you can.” Sam whispered back to her before he motioned for Corra to come with him.

“What? Why are we-.” Corra began to protest but Sam wasn’t allowing her any wiggle room for protesting in this moment.

“It’s the Captain’s order. We have to go now.” Ghoul saw in Sam’s eyes it pained him to be so abrupt with his daughter but they had both agreed under no circumstances should Corra know about Ghoul’s involvement with the Crimson Fleet. It was not only for his daughter’s safety, were anything happen, but because Ghoul also could not bring herself to share that side of the world with the child. Once the two of the Coe’s were out of the cockpit and for sure in the crew’s station of the back of the ship, Ghoul sighed heavily. There weren’t a lot of options and it looked like the battle had already begun.

“The missiles are now assigned to me but I would appreciate it if you kept an eye on ship vitals for me.” Ghoul said to Andreja who hadn’t said a word. She knew Andreja recognized what the scanner had inferred and understood the short conversation Ghoul had with Sam.

“Yes, Captain.” Andreja’s voice was controlled and calm. Her cool composure was the one thing that was helping Ghoul not unravel herself and she was supposed to be the leader. Ghoul directed the ship forward with max speed and as she swung it around the House Va’ruun ships there were lasers that hit one of the wings of the ship. Inside she cursed herself to hell but she kept her hands steady and Andreja without needing command already started to deliver the might of their new ballistic weapons system. The Crimson Fleet ships were originally shooting at all moving objects within their field of vision but they soon noticed that the Longsword wasn’t engaging with them. Once both of the House Va’ruun ships exploded into smithereens from the combined forces of the three ships was when Ghoul finally received a hail from Delgado and Naeva.

“Do we got ourselves a friend or a foe?” Naeva’s spunky voice came through laced with challenge. Ghoul took a deep breath trying her best to get herself into the headspace of the ruthless Rook they welcomed into the Fleet not so long ago.

“Could be either depending on how many fucking times your weapons make contact with my ship, Naeva!” Ghoul added a bit of cocky gravel to her voice that sounded almost out of body to her own ears. She even noticed a shift in Andreja’s body that noted that it sounded off to her as well.

“Oh, would you look at that Delgado? The Rook is alive and well. Looks like she has been dicking around instead of meeting with your contact.” Naeva completely ignored the threat Ghoul gave but that was the type of game she liked to play. Naeva was the first to smile in someone’s face then smash their skull on the closest blunt object. She wasn’t second in command to Delgado for nothing.

“I really hope you have a good explanation for this, Rook.” Delgado’s voice came through this time. His rough mannerism traveled through the comms as well giving Ghoul a shiver down her back.

“You can see the reason if you open your eyes, Delgado.” Ghoul quipped with the sound of disbelief as if the reason was so obvious it was offensive that they didn’t notice. It was like a knife’s edge when she spoke to the King of the Crimson Fleet. She couldn’t be seen as a weak individual but there was a pecking order that was to be adhered to or there would be consequences.

“Are you referring to that large trash heap you are piloting? You didn’t take me as someone who would pride themselves with trash.” Ghoul could hear the smile within his insult.

“Well, if you think so poorly of my new vessel. I guess that just confirms the man’s life I ended to retrieve it had nothing to lose after all.” She lied through her teeth as she laughed about her imaginary murder.

“Enough games, Rook.” Naeva commanded through the box, “We have some catching up to do and it’s clear you can’t get something done without a fucking tight leash.”

“Naeva, don’t.” Delgado warned his second in command. “You do owe us an explanation, Rook, for missing in action for over a week now and not even completing the task assigned to you. If I were to know any better, I would think you are trying to leave the Fleet.”

“And no one and I mean no one, leaves the Crimson Fleet.” Naeva threatened. This was slowly becoming a very complicated situation and Ghoul knew she couldn’t just follow them to the Key with Corra on board, Sam would never forgive her even if he stayed on ship with her.

“This can all be easily explained if you want me to lay out my entire schedule including when I have eaten, took a piss break, and slept.” She deflected to humor because it felt like the safest option without seeming suspicious. Ghoul’s humor was a mask for the fear that was creeping up inside her. It was normally very easy to persuade herself out of sticky situations but this time it was obvious she was backed into a corner and it was quite possible they had been out here looking for her.

“I’d be careful with who you are speaking to.” Naeva threatened Ghoul again.

“If it’s so easy to explain then there shouldn’t be an issue with you docking onto my ship and coming aboard to explain.” Delgado didn’t leave any room for her to refuse and she knew if she did, she’d be putting the other lives on her ship in danger.

“Fine, if that’s what it will take to get you both off my ass.” She let some of her genuine frustration come through with that statement. “Give me some time to dock and gather some of my loot on this ship. I’ll have someone retrieve the ship later so I expect you both to leave it unharmed.” Ghoul wasn’t in a place to be making demands since they were both already suspicious of her and her last whereabouts but she need to at least try to ensure everyone else’s safety.

“If it means so much to you, then fine. But if we suspect you are telling us anything other than the truth the ship will be blown to pieces and you will be floating along with it.” Those were Delgado’s last words before they ended communications and both ships waited for Ghoul in the black void to come on board. When Ghoul was sure their comms was no longer connected, she let out the biggest sigh of relief and sunk into the back of her chair. There were a lot of thoughts and emotions swimming violently in her head. It was a few moments later when she noticed the face of an extremely unhappy Andreja.

“Did you just agree to get onto Delgado’s ship, alone?” She asked and Ghoul knew it was a rhetorical question and more of a ‘what the hell were you thinking’ type question.

“What was the alternative?” Ghoul challenged her, not really wanting to hear any criticism about how she could have handled the delicate situation. It wasn’t really like they had given her a list of options or without it ending them being space dust.

“I am not sure but I don’t think going onto a Crimson Fleet ship with no backup was the right call.” Andreja protested some more and Ghoul just looked at the two ships ahead of them trying her best not to engage with the argument. Normally Andreja knew to just trust Ghoul but she could see the worry on her friend’s face.

“Perhaps not, but you need to remember I am undercover. I have to be in these situations and I have to be able to keep you all safe while putting myself into these situations.”

“What situation?” Sam had come back to the cockpit alone thankfully, but it was horrible timing. Ghoul wasn’t ready to hear it from him as well.

“Delgado requests our Captain to get onto his ship and explain what she has been doing the past week instead of meeting with his contact. Alone!” Andreja beat Ghoul to the punch of giving him an explanation and Ghoul gave her an angry stare.

“Excuse me?” Sam said in disbelief and Ghoul felt the room tense up further. The thoughts that swarmed her mind were getting to a point where she couldn’t really hear anything else that was going on and she felt on the edge of exploding.

“Again, sorry for choosing the path that kept all of you alive. Next time I will just let our enemies blast us out the sky and if there is a next life you both can be angry with my decisions then!” She was feeling extremely defensive and annoyed with the two of them and decided instead of hearing anything else either of them had to say she would rather not be in the room. So, she got out of the chair and pushed past Sam in anger. Sam however was not about to let her run off so easily because he was livid himself. It wasn’t long before his heavy footsteps quickened their pace behind her and she felt herself get cornered into one of the storage rooms.

“Hey! Stop!” He said with an irate vigor in his voice. Ghoul was staring at the shelved wall in the storage room acting as if she was trying to look for something. She had no interested in repeating the same conversation over and over. Last she checked she was their captain and they were supposed to trust her, even if it seemed like she was throwing herself to the wolves. Sam’s hand was on her arm as he twisted her around with a force she wasn’t expecting. It was a force she hadn’t felt from him since before they left New Atlantis.

“Stop, stop pushing us out and listen.” He practically begged her and his eyes were burning into hers as both his hands held her into place in front of him. “I don’t know what has been going on in that pretty little head of yours lately but we need to talk, now.”

“Talk to you about what? The same conversation? How you don’t agree with my actions? How neither of you seem to trust in my decision making when it matters?” Ghoul responded back as quick as a gunshot and her face was masked with anger but really, she was just tired of having these fights with Sam. She missed the silence they use to be able to share comfortably or when he would just know when she needed something to make her laugh. The tension was just so fucking overwhelming. “I’m undercover. Do I want to be? No! But it seems like everyone in this fucking universe needs something from me and I can only do so many fucking things right.”

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“Ghoul you-.” Sam looked as if he was ready to fire right back at her but he felt the sudden defeat in her body before he saw the tears that begun to swell in her yellow eyes. His posture and grip softened for a moment and he remembered the advice Andreja had given to him earlier. He found his right hand gently pressing her bright red hair out her face and he thought about the several colors she had changed it to in the past three months they had traveled together and something about that made him smile to himself. It was just something that was very her and he held on to that thought. “It’s just-. We do trust you-.”

“You have a hell of a way to show it.” Ghoul interrupted him angrily and he saw how much effort she was putting in to not let any of her tears fall. The guards she was constantly putting up was painful for him to watch and he could only imagine the lengths she went through to keep them fortified.

“I can’t stand to think about anything happening to you, okay? Especially if…especially if I could have done something about it and I didn’t stop you.” Sam stammered with his choice of words and he was trying his best to clearly communicate. It was not easy with how bad his heart was pounding from the whole situation. The thought of her just putting herself on line and walking right into that trap, it riled him up.

“I can take care of myself.” Ghoul said softly and she gently nudged Sam to let go of her arms so he did. Her eyes looked past him and into a void of thought he wish he could hear so he knew what the right words were. It was obvious she was going to at least stand there for a few moments longer and he was going to do his damned best to get her to at least know how much he cared for her wellbeing. At the very least.

“No one is denying that, darling.” Her eyes snapped back to his as if calling her darling beckoned her back to him. “I need you to know that I…we have your back.”

“Yeah?” She sounded skeptical and that was a tiny blow to his ego. Had he really been acting in such a way where she really thought he wasn’t in her corner anymore?

“Yes, I promise. You made your decision and I know you chose it with everyone’s wellbeing in mind, even if it is not…well…just, I cannot thank you enough for the things you do to keep Corra safe. I am not sure I ever will be able to. But you have got to know that.” He found himself emphasizing the last line and practically begging for her to hear him, truly hear him.

“You are not alone and honestly you havent been at least not since the day I watched you convince a whole gang to just walk out of that Galbank and cut their losses. And yes, the universe has been stretching us to the ends of it all to figure out exactly what these Artifacts are for but Ghoul.” Their eyes were still locked as Sam tried to find the right words he wanted to use and he felt they were truly the only two on this entire ship. He wondered if she felt it too.

“Please…just…stay alive.” He leaned forward towards her. Connecting his forehead with hers, breaking their eye contact but he needed to be close with her. He felt the hitch in her breathing but she didn’t step back this time and instead leaned more into him as their eyes closed and they just felt each other’s physical connection. It was the first sliver of peace they had have between each other for weeks. Sam felt the gentleness of Ghoul’s hand on his beard and when he looked back at her there was now a slow flow of tears falling from her eyes.

“Of course, I will cowboy.” She sniffled softly and the crook of a small smile appeared on her lips. “I couldn’t just let them on this ship Sam not with Corra, not with them finding you or Andreja.” Sam absolutely hated the prospect of Ghoul giving herself up for his welling being yet again. The fears that he had when they were on Neon pained his chest but he held it in and chose not to argue. She was right they needed to trust her. Ghoul was wiping some of the tears off her face and Sam lent a finger to rub one off of her cheek.

“I’m going to be fine. It’s only going to be for a short period of time and I will be back before you can say, ‘are you sure you want to carry that?” She teased him and there was relief on her face that accompanied the smile that was in her eyes. He hesitated before deciding to step back from her and allow her some space. They both took an awkward moment to dust themselves off because they were normally not this physically close and even though there was a strong urge in him to touch her skin again, he held himself.

“Are you going to say goodbye to Corra? What are we going to tell her?” Sam asked directing the conversation away from the awkward silence that filled the storage room they were in. He would rather this awkwardness any day over the tension they had both were originally feeling.

“You, are going to tell her whatever you want because you are her father. I am going to go on Delgado’s ship and make them believe I am just another stupid Rook.” Ghoul said without pausing and Sam crossed his arms not entirely happy with the decision that it was up to him to pick the lie for his daughter. He was a bad liar and if Ghoul didn’t come back what was he going to tell Corra then? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. But he knew it was a temporary and he also didn’t want Corra to stress over their captain. Ghoul’s hand was now on his shoulder and she gave him a confident smile.

“What is that thing Vladmir says? Catch a smile out there?” Ghoul gripped his shoulder and he laughed at her for trying to impersonate Vlad’s accent.

“Yes. Catch a smile out there.” Sam’s voice was nonchalant but the inside of his body was screaming to not let her go out there alone and onto a ship of wolves.

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Ghoul had her pirate suit on and the airlock had finally finished stabilizing the air for her to walk through the door to Delgado’s ship. The process was long enough for her to rehearse in her head who she was to be now that she was going to be on Delgado’s ship. She was a Crimson Fleet pirate, she took what she wanted, she lived to fight against the UC and Freestar Rangers, and most of all she did not give a fuck about anything other than her own gains. The airlock door finally opened and there Delgado stood with two other armed men on each side of him. He had a foxy grin on his face as if he expected her to chicken out of this meeting.

“Ah, there she is.” Delgado crooned and he snapped his fingers ordering his guards to relax their position and allow her to walk nearby. “I am extremely interested in these excuses you have for not meeting with your contact as ordered. You are lucky you were the one who helped us find another clue to Kryx’s legacy or else you would be dust by now.”

“I didn’t realize you were being so kind, Del. Next time I will make sure to bring you a fucking bouquet of flowers to show my gratitude.” Ghoul wanted to make it clear that his threats, no matter what they were didn’t disarm her. Delgado looked her up and down and he seemed to be amused at her response. He snapped again but this time his men went to grab both of her arms to restrain her. Immediately Ghoul tried to fight them off because she knew if she just allowed herself to be captured it would be a sign of weak submission in the eyes of this pirate. She used her foot to trip one of the men and it loosened his grip enough for her to slip her arm out of his hold, and then push the back of his helmet into the other guard. The two men collided and before they had the chance to both turn back onto her, she had disarmed them of one of their guns and pointed it directly at them.

“Is this really necessary?” Ghoul hissed at Delgado and he watched her like a hawk ready to swoop in and pluck her eyes out at any moment.

“Perhaps not.” He waved them away and then looked back at his other crew. She wasn’t sure if she saw it correctly or not but he looked pleased with her response. “Undock from that piece of garbage and set coordinates for The Key. We have much to get to in the next few months.”

“Months?” Ghoul snapped suddenly and slightly out of her usual pirate character. Delgado had an eyebrow raised at her suspiciously from her response.

“Do you have somewhere else to be that’s more important than Kryx’s legacy?” He challenged her and the tone in his voice made it very clear this was a dangerous rhetorical question. Ghoul shook her head and tossed the gun to the side trying her best not to think about the fact that she had absolutely no way to communicate with the others about this development. She had left anything that tied her to Constellation on the ship. That included her watch given to her when she first joined that was her primary telecommunications device. What in the fuck was she going to do?

#sam coe #starfield #starfield fanfiction #fanfic #Delgado #crimson fleet #ao3fic #sam coe x spacefarer #a wee bit of fluff #Please enjoy!#and if possible show support on ao3!

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divinecomedyproductions · 1 year ago

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Fandom Woes Part 1: Big Entertainment Fandoms and their War on Creative Minds

I feel like I need to revamp my points it’s about what I perceive to be a problem with modern fandom, and the first issue is its hostility to creative dissent, especially in form of original works or fanfiction.

It seems that fandoms, Anti-RWDE in this case, have decided how story they liked handled a concept or idea is law and appointed themselves as the police force to enforce said laws, all proclaiming to defend those they deem worthy of the title “creator” while harassing those the perceived as “bullshit artists” I guess and feel have offended them and those they defend. And these people seem to be waging an ideological conquest of creative thinking in fears of becoming irrelevant.

For example, I explained how I was upset with RWBY the tragic ending of Pyrrha Nikos and her romantic relation with Jaune, and other characters and parings, Sun and Blake, Ren and Nora, Weiss and Neptune, and Ruby and Oscar, all who I dreaded would end up on the chopping block next.

I said how I felt they should have been couples who endured consequences and raised steaks, but they should have been allowed to survive through them, rather than losing each other driving the other forward kinda like Ed and Winry and Roy and Riza from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

Or at least they could as a different set of characters in a different epic fantasy story.

That, and recently in retrospect, I’ve been looking at RWBY, it’s characters, and world, the ships I wanted, and what they could have been, some involves radical changes, minor changes, heavily different world building, using my Catholic faith as well as my own fictional universe as a basis.

Right now it’s a heavily reimagined RWBY AU part of a fan fiction multiverse which is mostly experimental, idk I can put up with the likes of Syto-kun’s RWBY Remnants, or Celtic Pyro's Fixing RWBY, but I might make it into an original story, Hell, I might even do both, the former first so I can see what other changes I might need to make,

Now as of recently I’ve discovered a Discord Server which I can discuss these things with other RWBY fans, most of who are also disillusioned with Canon RWBY, in a civil manner. Some agree with me, some don’t, but we all act in respect and good faith and we give each other the benefit of the doubt for our disagreements because we all deeply care about epic story-telling.

But In the past with the Anti-RWDE of the RWBY fandom, or whatever you want to call this a toxic minority, I got from was not honest disagreement, but rather disgust, abhorrence, and sneering.

I was sat down and lectured by toxic individuals how raised steaks and consequences forbid such things now, reading posts about Pyrrha and the likes of her and Jaune were only fit for tragic endings because “that's the kind of character she is.” as well these loyalists aggrandizing themselves for liking it mocking others like me with things like

"LMAO Holy Shit, you guys wouldn't like Madoka Magica" as if that was a problem

or "Lol go watch RWBY Chibi"

They resorted to passive aggressive judgment, gaslighting, and superior sarcasm at best, ranting and vicious chastisement at worst. Telling me I should trash my desires and ideas and just go watch Disney, Marvel, Romcoms, and Sitcoms instead.

They told me I was acting smug and superior and arrogant for doing a rewrite/reimagining AU or an original story in response how RWBY was handled, that what I did was inherently malicious and hostile towards Monty, and this attitude seems to come from a lot of loyalist fans who like things the way they are, and in my opinion think a little too highly of themselves for liking things that others don’t, but that’s an argument for another day.

Let me give an hypothetical example for their logic

Let's say among the Gurren Laggan and One Piece fanbase, there's a vocal minority of fanatics think that characters like Kamina and Portgas D. Ace and characters like them could only end in death to drive the characters and story forward and nobody was allowed to actively disagree with that, until Trigger recycled Kamina and Yoko as Galos and Aina respectively in Promare(though I think they recycled Kamina for Kill La Kill as Aikuro Mikisugi)

Then it was okay for small-time creative people, fanfic writers or indie writers, to do it.

Before then, doing that was seen as “hostile” towards “creators” which they mean those who they deem worthy of the title, and they uphold as the law of epic fiction. Or at the very least, until then, it was seen as stupid and uninteresting.

That's what it seemed like to me, and I could be wrong

But it just came off as off obtuse and narrow-minded at best akin to Professor Membrane from Invader Zim, narcissistic and disingenuous at worst akin to Claude Frollo from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame combined with blind consumerist loyalty to big business whether it be western entertainment or anime studios.

Now I’ve spoken to other people and my friends and others, all who mean well, one person who’s been more patient with me than she should have, who told me I might just have to disengage from the source material since I admitted it won’t change canon RWBY and how I am unhappy with it, and friends who said I should let RWBY go because it’s causing me too much grief while another assumed I wanted no adversity and struggle and wanted it to be all fluffy because I didn’t want mentioned ships ending tragically, and I think I came off as hostile

And I feel like this is more due to my failure to articulate my points, I’m not exactly the best at doing that.

And I don’t want the rest of the RWBY Fandom, RWDE or sane neutral fans to misunderstand me, mostly due to my last reblog I got too heated and not made my point clear

I’m not saying the direction RWBY went with V3 or Pyrrha and the rest of the cast being tragic in some way or another is objectively bad, it was just not my taste

And I am not saying every normal RWBY fan/RWDE person who liked it is an elitist about it nor are all of them trying to insult me and attack me personally or say my ideas are bad but rather help you guys understand my experience with the toxic strain of the fanbase.

and I am not trying to change canon or its “trajectory” , nor am I doing this to spite Monty, especially when I never knew the guy. This is a difference in handling ideas and concepts.

I’m doing my RWBY AU, which will most likely be revamped into an original story since it takes a whole different directions with the characters and world, but it's mostly because with post V3 and now in retrospect I saw what this world, characters, ships and other ideas could have been all in a story I believe is worth telling. And I was very disappointed and frustrated that it wasn’t along with my own personal exhaustion how epic storytelling has been going in several franchises.

I mean yeah it's also due to personal tastes and preferences and subjective feelings, at least I’ve been told, but I also try to integrate that in a meaningful way.

Everyone, big business or small time creators, should be allowed to take an idea and take it in a different direction, even if it comes from a place of disagreement and/or distaste.

That's one of the many ways inspiration works. Some of Tolkien’s own ideas came from his distaste how Shakespere handled the elves and his unhappiness that there were no talking and walking trees in Shakespere’s Macbeth, and the Valar Aule and his creation of the dwarves are akin to an anti-Prometheus.

I mean, what do Anti-Rwde and other toxic fans like them of other franchises expect us to do?

“Oh Ding-Dong-Diddly-Darn and Golly Gee Wally-Wilikers guess I gotta go watch another show and hope the storytelling gods give me what I exactly want next time, sure I saw a different story worth telling, but f*ck me I guess!”

I can only imagine how many small-time aspiring writers have been intimidated into giving up due to these petty rules these fanatics enforce, invoking the works and names of their appointed idols, even when said individuals and companies didn’t even ask them to in the first place.

It basically felt like to me was this, and I could been wrong here,

"Whatever you thought this story could have been, the world, characters, what ships you wanted, how it all could have played out, its awful, worthless ,and uninteresting and there's something wrong with you for thinking and subjectively feeling that, so you gotta throw it all in the trash unless those we deem worthy of being 'creators' do it first or you bend over backwards for us, and we might let create what you want. Otherwise, you're only allowed to use inspiration from source material you 100% agree with or else your being malicious and not a true storyteller.”

And then they used what they liked, whether it be Arkos ending tragically and the dark direction post V3 or Bumbleby over Black Sun in V9, as an opportunity to aggrandize themselves, flaunt their tastes and what they also like and mock and sneer at everyone else who’s unhappy and force their preferences onto said dissidents. All for what seemed like to me for pride, moral superiority, and social currency.

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and they would turn around and lecture you for being entitled, smug, superior and smelling your own farts.

And once again, this isn’t directed at sane fans and RWDE who liked these things for honest reasons and objective analysis, you guys are fine and this is not towards you, its to help you guys understand where I'm coming from.

And from what I've heard, there's someone amongst the anti-rwde/rwby rewrite by the name of LilithFairen who used this to attack Fixing RWBY RWBY and Madoka Magica and fans of the latter.

While I don't like Gen Urobuchi's work myself and Fixing RWBY sounds too dark for me, I do not condone her behavior. Bullying behavior is not justified wether be based on objectively good storytelling or personal/subjective feelings or personal taste/distaste.

My grief is with a toxic contingent with fandom, who seem conceited, self-righteous, and self-absorbed that they think what they like, from broad things like lighthearted to grimmdark to nitty-gritty details like concepts and what direction they go, are the objective end-all-be-all law of epic fiction.

The only exception they'll make is those they admire who they see as the lawgivers who can write and repeal these "laws" and then once again appoint themselves as the police force to enforce these laws onto the peasants who they believe are obligated to be obedient to their will.

People who have less wealth power than those they claim to defend.

This certainly has happened on the opposite side of the spectrum in the past.

With the Gmod community I used to be a part of in, the toxic among the My Little Pony fandom of Gmod flaunted the success of MLP and championed themselves as the avatars of friendship and accused anyone who didn’t like the show or aspects about it, especially due to personal taste and subjective feelings as those who hated friendship. And I've heard horror stories in regards to the Steven Universe Fandom.

And for a while, individuals like these on both sides of the light and dark spectrum had managed to get away with this.

Until, there’s been a growing audience who’s been tired with Big Entertainment, and choosing between what seemed to me either pure grimmdark or pure lighthearted

People who these individuals had at best, dismissed as the minority, and perhaps we were for a while.

But from my perspective, that changes over the years, it's a natural swing of the pendulum.

Now that's not to say an objectively well written story can withstand that, that's what critics are for, and neither does it mean subjective and personal feelings and tastes/distastes should be disregarded either, but all of this is for another topic for another day.

Until recently, many creative writers and audiences were limited to companies and corporations who’s mandates in creating works was very limited, and many stories, while didn’t follow these standards, were not well planned out and executed. Sword Art Online being my personal example.

Not to mention, in the past fan fiction was also seen as a joke due to teenager fan fiction stereotypes and the likes of 50 Shades of Grey.

Thus, making any contesting ideas against the status quo seem inherently bad and keeping any dissident voices in zones of restrictive dissent.

But the world isn’t like that anymore.

With people becoming increasingly disillusioned with the likes of Hollywood, Fanfiction has been getting significant amount of attention as well there being a bold new movement of storytellers going indie, and with new effective online indie platforms from webcomics, to novels, kickstarter and indiegogo, and the likes of YouTube all of which are also getting attention, and challenging or at least contrasting certain ideas and concepts from other works in epic fiction or how they are handled, all without the Anti-RWDE’s authorization.

In other words, creative individuals no longer need to bend over backwards to publish their visual stories on effective platforms.

Which, at least what it seems to me, makes these toxic individuals realize that epic fiction and its handling of certain kinds of concepts, characters, tropes, characters, worlds, and ships, right down to their ultimate fates, do not revolve solely around their terms or at least the terms of those they worship. Which in turn makes them insecure and upset.

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So I have a message to Anti-RWDE and other zealot fans of these franchises who do this

Like it or not, and whether you agree with them or not, these dissident fans and creators are your only equal in this equation.

The fact you would resort to your little manipulative games and would even go so far as to suck up those who you deem worthy of the title “creator” and have more power and wealth than we do to enforce these stupid rules puts you all a significant step away from your peers.

Which might sound inconsequential to you now, but in the long run will hurt you all, gravely.

because one day some of these dissidents will use that they liked and what they wanted to create fantastical epics in various indie formats(novels, webcomics, YouTube web-series, etc) or AU FanFiction, or most likely both

Whether the inspiration comes from a place of agreement or dissent

And when you come along to sneer at it and accuse it being “hostile” and “leeching off” other creators because its inspiration came from a place of disagreement, especially without any analytical evidence, you’ll end up enraging the audiences of those works, who might have been dissident and disappointed fans of the works you enjoy, and are now finally getting works that resonate to their tastes both broad things like lighthearted, grimmdark, or something in the middle and nitty gritty like concepts and what directions they go.

And they’ll remember how you mocked, lectured, gaslit and policed them and told them what they wanted was “uninteresting” and inherently “malicious” towards those you deem worthy of the title “creators”, and how you went so far as to suck up to “The Man” to do so.

I’m a Catholic, I’m taught revenge is sinful, but the other reality is that some people aren't as graceful as others, and those people may decide to give you a taste of your own medicine.

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Those “creators" aren’t gonna be there to help you when that happens, I guarantee it.

Because most of them don’t care about this whole ordeal, and might even be completely unaware of it, nor do they know who you are.

So maybe instead of jumping to broad accusations, bad faith, and intentionally misinterpreting what people are saying and their thoughts and subjective feelings, and assume this creative disagreement is inherently hostile, smug, and malicious, all without any evidence, you ask constructive questions or just disagree honestly instead.

Because of your only intention is to suppress alternative ideas, preferences, thoughts, and feelings along with lecturing everyone and silence a discussion of such things because they come from a place of disagreement and displeasure, especially when you say “It’s not gonna change canon”, then you should be the first person to walk away from the debate.

Because let’s say what we had in mind is just pandering, and nobody in would find it interesting, along with considering the fact whatever we do “wont change canon” of the stories you enjoy

With all things considered, then I dare ask, what are you doing in our conversations?

Why are you getting mad and jumping into our discussions?

Why are you trying to control what we create and enjoy, especially because we disagreed how something was handled?

Either we make a reimagined AU fanfic, or recycle what we liked and wanted for our original works.

Either way, as you said it yourself, it won’t change canon, people don’t find it interesting, and it’s only pandering to people who you seem to not like, so why are you inserting yourself into our discussions in the first place?

If we are making it your problem, how are we? Because we created something in disagreement how certain ideas and concepts were handled and we put it out there and it’s getting attention? Is someone making you consume our stuff?

Because from where I'm standing, you guys are the ones going out of your way to make it your problem, which in turn you use to justify in your mind what you do to other people.

Because you want to control and suppress what us poor people create and enjoy as well as control and suppress what we think and subjectively feel. Which is at best, very weird.

We're trying to do our own thing, and you're trying to control other people.

If you truly believe what you like is the end-all-be-all and transcends all of this and you yourself are superior for liking these things, then do yourself a favor, save yourself the time and energy, and get out of our tags, servers, and conversations.

Just move along and continue to enjoy whatever those you deem worthy to be “creators”

These types of fans of RWBY, and MCU, Star Wars, and any other franchise for that matter need to take that advice

“It’s not gonna change canon, it’s not for you, disengage from the material, and move on”

Because that advice only works, when you are fine when things are going

See the irony there?

If you’re fine the way it's going, and someone is actively disagreeing with it, especially through creative works…

“It’s not gonna change canon, it’s not for you, disengage from the material, and move on”

Just do not insert yourself into this.

Just mind your own business, and just gossip about it in your own groups, tags, and forums.

Be that indifferent, loyal, and culturally and morally superior overman/overwoman that you just love to position yourself as in these discussions and leave us alone.

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la-bruja · 1 year ago

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Fanfiction Recommendations

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hello y’all! still insane and i have even more fics for you!

today i am serving you a twenty (20) course meal featuring Batman, Good Omens, Boku No Hero Academia, White Collar, and their crossovers!

thanks for checking out my fic recs!! <3

(if the formatting is ugly, know that i did this on the app)

»»———-Batman-———-««

Gotham’s Biggest Ship by chamsie

based on a tweet (suggestive)

Complete. One-Shot. 1k+ Words. 1k+ Kudos. Bruce Wayne/Batman. Crack Treated Seriously.

There was one persistent open secret that had never before reached the ears of the BatCave, and it had existed for much longer than one would have realized.

The fact that everyone knew of the epic romance of Bruce Wayne and the Batman.

to span the tide by idontshaveforher_yesyoudo

part one (1) of the completed series outsider povs on an outsider

Complete. One-Shot. 5k Words. 5k Kudos. Autistic Bruce Wayne. Character Study. Gotham City Residents. POV Outsider.

five (plus one) times Bruce Wayne is observed as he quietly takes care of the people of Gotham City.

Candle Light and Plastic Bats by @jackdaw-kraai

Completed. 10k+ Words. 2k+ Kudos. Gotham City Residents. Minor Injuries. Accidental Deification.

The People of Gotham are well aware that there is a demon hiding in the shadows of their city. They are also well aware that unless provoked by injustice the demon, the Bat, is benevolent and aids them in their struggles when no one else can or will.

The People Of Gotham aren't without honor, they give thanks when gratitude is due.

r/onlyingotham by amurderofmagpies

Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 5k+ Words. Last Updated April ‘22. Residents of Gotham. Social Media. Crack Treated Seriously.

The unofficial subreddit of Gotham City.

Watch This by snackbaskets

Complete. One-Shot. 2k+ Words. 20k+ Kudos. Good Parent Bruce Wayne. Dick Grayson is Robin. Fluff and Humor.

Hal and Barry are worried about Batman's new partner. Being around the Batman all the time can't be good for a kid, right?

Robin insists otherwise, and for $15.36 of betting money, is happy to demonstrate.

Parental Woes by nazville

Complete. One-Shot. 2k+ Words. 4k+ Kudos. Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics. Omega Bruce Wayne. Humor and Fluff.

"Is it weird being the single Omega parent to a bunch of Alphas? Like what's the weirdest thing?"

"The cock-blocking," said Bruce

He's Ours Now by Lulu_Rythmea

part one (1) of series: Hood's Merry Men

Batman finally pushed him away. Marcus stumbled as he found his footing, already tensed for an attack. The other guys, so calm until now, (they’d talked about this, planned for it,) shifted away as well.

The attack never came. The Bat was gone.

Marcus glanced around, then up at the roof. He couldn’t see anything, but that meant very little in this business, so he decided to risk it. “You ever think, boss, that the kid might not wanna see you?”

A batarang sliced into the stack of crates to Marcus’ left. Welp. That was enough antagonizing for one night.

the darkness that lingers (the fate it brings us) by soyasauce

Incomplete. Two-Shot. 3k+ Words. Last Updated February ‘22. 281 Kudos. Account Locked. Good Parent Bruce Wayne. Eldtrich Bruce Wayne. Meta Bruce Wayne.

Still, these shadows are wrong in a way he can't quite describe. It is ridiculous, because shadows are just that. But they are not the shadows of Gotham, and the way they cling to him feels unsettling, odd.

Sometimes, when he looses focus, he will wake up back in his bed in Gotham. Alfred is never surprised, to see him exiting a bedroom he never entered the previous night, and only invites him to stay for breakfast before he leaves again.

farthest you've ever flown by @applejee

Complete. Three-Shot. 14k+ Words. 5k+ Kudos. Bad Parent Jack Drake. Emotional Abuse. Implied Homophobia. Good Sibling Jason Todd. Enemy to Caretaker. Accidental Brother Acquisition.

When Jack Drake kicks Tim out in a rage, Tim, not wanting to be a bother, tries to make it work without getting the Bats involved. But he can only go so long without being found out, and it’s not Batman that ends up discovering his secret; it’s the Red Hood.

»»———-Good Omens-———-««

it's the light (it's the obstacle that casts it) by @bibliocratic

Complete. One-Shot. 5k+ Words. 10k+ Kudos. Period Typical Homophobia. Queer Themes. Mutual Pining.

It's like having a curtain pulled back on something he wasn't expecting to see. A surprise punch-and-judy at an up-scale restaurant, a lobster thermidor when he's ordered an ale.

Crowley's gleefully trying to wrap his head around the fact that Aziraphale is speaking Polari. Because of course he is.

»»———-Boku No Hero Academia-———-««

Victim of Circumstance by @chalcet

Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 37k+ Words. Orphaned 6k+ Kudos. Dead Midoriya Inko. Vigilante Midoriya Izuku. Midoriya Izuku Does Not Have One For All. Quirkless Midoriya Izuku. Homeless Midoriya Izuku. Midoriya Izuku Does Not Go To UA. Canon Typical Violence.

So Izuku does what he does best: he helps. Sometimes that means mediating gang disputes; other times, it's something as simple as grocery shopping. It's not like anyone else will, after all. With so many hopes riding on him, there's only ever been one option. Quirk or no Quirk, UA or no UA—he's going to become a hero.

Cat Days by GriffinRose part one (1) of series: Cat Days

Completed. Multi-Chaptered. 124k+ Words. 10k+ Kudos. Account Locked. Dead Midoriya Inko. Abusive Midoriya Hisashi. Canon-Typical Violence. Parental Aizawa Shouta. Midoriya Izuku Does Not Have One for All Quirk. Quirk Shenanigans. Kid Midoriya Izuku. Implied Child Abuse. Hurt/Comfort.

Izuku has a shapeshifting quirk. He's not the best at controlling it, especially under stress. So when tragedy strikes and he gets lost in the city, he's stuck as a cat. At least he found a nice underground hero to take him in?

In Which Midoriya Confuses A Lot of People, Starts A Manhunt, and Becomes A Hero by legal_kidnapping

Completed. Multi-Chaptered. 28k+ Words. 27k+ Kudos. Quirkless Midoriya Izuku. Unhinged Midoriya Izuku. Hero Public Safety Commission Bashing. Crack Treated Seriously.

Midoriya needs a new outlet for his hero research and accidentally creates a viral YouTube channel.

You know that thing where an orchestra swaps instruments, and like, some of them get it right away, but others have no clue what they're doing? This is that but with quirks, two unwilling participants, and also Emotions by @the-final-sif part four (4) of series: Nitroglycerin's Parables

Completed. One-Shot. 13k+ Words. 10k+ Kudos. Hurt/Comfort. Emotional Hurt/Comfort. Fluff. Canon-Typical Violence. Class 1-A Shenanigans. Quirk Swap. Quirk Accident. Quirk Shenanigans. Quirk Side Effects. Yaoyorozu Momo is a Good Friend. Yaoyorozu Momo has Self-Esteem Issues. Bakugou Katsuki is a Good Friend. Deaf Bakugou Katsuki. Bakugou Katsuki Has Issues. Bakugou Katsuki Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Soft Bakugou Katsuki. Touch-Starved Bakugou Katsuki.

Momo wasn't sure why it came as such a shock to her and her classmates that nitroglycerin was not, in fact, easy to control. The chemical was defined by it's instability, it's ability to go off under near any circumstances, it's powerful blows. And yet, Katsuki had always made it look so simple. He soared through the air like it was nothing, switching between bullet-sized blasts and missile levels of firepower like most people switched channels on TV. Momo had found herself jealous of his quirk at times, unable to help wondering what it would be like to have such power at her fingertips. Good news, she didn't have to wonder anymore. Bad news, it was absolutely terrible.

Truth Effect by AnAroAceGremlin

Completed. One-Shot. 3k+ Words. 6k+ Kudos. BAMF Bakugou Katsuki. BAMF Shinsou Hitoshi. Fluff and Angst. Quirk Discrimination. Bakugou Katsuki is a Good Friend. Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru. Shinsou Hitoshi Needs a Hug. Bakugou Katsuki Needs a Hug. Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence.

Truth Effect. Definition: tendency to believe false information to be correct after repeated exposure. Katsuki and Hitoshi have a few things in common. 1) They both have no one to take of them. 2) They have very strong, unique quirks. 3) Both of the above make them prime targets for kidnappings growing up. They think this is normal.

"Average Person Gets Kidnapped 3 Times A Year" Factoid Actually Just Statistical Error by ohshiddlesticks

Completed. Two-Shot. 4k+ Words. 10k+ Kudos. Fluff and Angst. Crack Treated Seriously. Childhood Friends. Midoriya Izuku is a Good Friend.

"Midoriya Izuku just sort of assumed that everyone else got kidnapped at least once a year, and his once-or-twice-a-month ordeals were just a little bit more than normal." Bakugou gets kidnapped, and Izuku is surprised that nobody else knows what to do. It's a normal childhood occurrence, right?

and i'm nothing like you by @aloneintherain

Completed. One-Shot. 9k+ Words. 12k+ Kudos. Hurt/Comfort. Kidnapping. Mind Control. Hurt Midoriya Izuku.

Of all the people to have been kidnapped alongside, it had to be this person, this hero, the one person who would never blame him for the things he was forced to do. “Don’t cry,” Midoriya says. “Fuck you,” Hitoshi chokes out. (When Shinsou goes grocery shopping a few weeks after transferring to Class 2A, Midoriya tags along. Because he is, for some reason, determined to be Shinsou’s friend. Shinsou remains cold and withdrawn in the face of Midoriya’s friendliness—until they’re kidnapped by a woman with a brainwashing quirk who believes Shinsou doesn’t belong in the hero course.)

Izuku Knows Exactly Five Guitar Chords And Uses All Of Them To Torment Bakugou Katsuki by @speedwagons-glorious-mane

Completed. One-Shot. 2k+ Words. 3k+ Kudos. Account Locked. Crack Treated Seriously. Bakugou Katsuki & Consequences. Midoriya Izuku Is In A Shitty Pop Punk Band. Midoriya Izuku Does Not Go to U.A. High School. Quirkless Midoriya Izuku.

Kacchan's mom has got it going on Katsuki goes ramrod straight as the vocals start. Ears and Shitty Hair are grinning at him but Katsuki is too busy staring at the speaker in disbelief. He'd know that voice anywhere. Bakugou Katsuki listens to the hit new single 'Kacchan's Mom' by Feeling Green for the first time and he is not a fan.

»»———-Crossovers-———-««

emergency exit by @rae-tnub Batman x BNHA.

Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 4k+ Words. Last Updated January ‘22. Bakugou Katsuki Centric. Post Sports Festival Arc.

The two thousand, three hundred and sixteenth offer gives him pause.

The seal on the top of the paper is the Justice League’s symbol. Joining the Justice League is the highest honor a hero can receive. Only the best of the best heroes ever get an invite. Those are the heroes called for the biggest things, like alien invasions and major disasters. They’re the representatives of the worldwide hero community to the rest of the world.

He scans the details of the cover letter. It’s as generic and bland as the rest of them—still written in perfect Japanese, though—and it’s from Batman.

memory loss by elijay White Collar x Batman part one (1) of series: because there really isn't enough of Neal Caffrey being one of the Robins in our lives

Incomplete. Multi-Chaptered. 7k+ Words. Last Updated January '21. 2k+ Kudos. Tim Drake-Centric. Tim Drake is Red Robin. Tim Drake is Neal Caffrey. Tim Drake has Amnesia. Tim Drake has Chronic Pain. Jason Todd is Red Hood. Dick Grayson is Nightwing. Neal Caffrey-centric. BAMF Tim Drake. BAMF Neal Caffrey. Identity Reveal.

“And he is Peter…?” “Burke,” Jones fills in. “Peter Burke, white collar crimes unit. Your handler. You… don’t remember, do you?” Neal snorts. “How astute of you, Jones. And I am?” Concern flickers through Diana. “You don’t know?” Neal looks at her and raises an eyebrow. “I know who I am, I want to know who you think I am.” “Neal Caffrey,” she replies confidently. “Con man, forger, world-class thief, now a criminal consultant for the white collar crimes unit of the FBI.” She’s expecting Neal to nod and agree in some way, but instead he snorts again. “What an alias - Neal Caffrey. Tell me, how long has he been with you? And how old is he, again?”

thanks for getting this far!! enjoy the fics :]

#batman #boku no hero acedamia #fanfiction #fic rec #batman fic #bnha fic #good omens fic #white collar fanfic #fanfic rec #fic rec list #fanfiction recommendation #fic reccomendations #thinking thoughts #Yeah i have no life and nothing to say for myself #tumblr just told me this is my 100th post and idk how to feel about that

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lairn · 1 year ago

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I was tagged by @gwenllian-in-the-abbey. Thanks, time to review some stats!

How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

13,400 (is there a non-manual way to do this?)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Realm of the Elderlings and only RotE, haha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When you only have 6 works this doesn't say much! Patience in Winter I'd Rather Die Alone Weak Willed Loomings or, A Short Tale of Woe Never Know Peace (surprised anyone even saw this one)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, virtually always. If anybody takes the time to share their thoughts with me, I at least want to thank them.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I was just noticing all my stuff ends with a little bummer even if the tone beforehand was more pleasant. But probably Weak Willed.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Unfortunately, probably I'd Rather Die Alone. Or Patience in Winter.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, very few people read them to begin with! I'd be confused to receive hate, although it's not impossible it would happen.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

A lot of what I've written is based on prompts. My default would probably be no smut and so far I've only written erotic (sub)text once. But maybe I'd write it if I got a request. It's just not my natural impulse.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Before I had an AO3 I started a NBC Hannibal/Minority Report crossover, haha! I only wrote a few paragraphs, and as soon as Hannibal showed up I quit. Much easier to write Will Graham's voice.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I really doubt it.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, but I've done a little beta reading.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I'm not really a shipper. If I see enough fan-content of a ship, it wins me over but not passionately. Serizawa/Reigen is an example. But I do feel pretty strongly that Fitz and The Fool have a queer relationship. I'm more in the QPR camp, but really enjoy the romantic fitzloved shippers' works. And sometimes the thought crosses my mind, "Oh Fitz, you fucked that gold man."

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't have any unless that Hannibal story counts. The recent Malta one took so long I thought I might not finish.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mm, I think I can get a pretty good sense of characters and their voices. I'm not sure how clearly that translates to the page, but the clarity exists in my head.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I like including sense details (sight, sound, smell, etc.) but I'm not sure if they enhance things or are more intrusive. Dialogue feels bad, man.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't and probably won't. If the characters understand it, I'd probably write in English and indicate it was said in another language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote an additional chapter to add to the end of One Hundred Years of Solitude for a high school assignment. I think it counts because we had the option to do an analytical essay, but I was so excited about the book that I had to take the creative writing option. Nobody else did I think.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Maybe Weak Willed. I feel like it's fun to read and someone did fanart of it!

tagging: @smalltownfae

#tag game

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venusmelody · 2 years ago

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kinnporsche s1 impressions (with spoilers)

Ok, so, I was told to watch for hot boys, but I was finally convinced to watch by the amazing Runs in the Family video. Why didn't everyone recommend this for the TERRIBLE MESSY FAMILY?? Messy families = my catnip. The only thing it was missing was terrible mothers to match the terrible fathers, ambiguously terrible mothers being one of my favourite tropes in fiction. Holy cow the Theerapanyakun bros loving each other deep down while being estranged, resentful, strained, in a cycle of families being pitted against each other, was perfect. Add in the entire minor family drama and Gun and Korn being terrible fathers in different veins was just amazing. It could have made the entire series to me, such that the sex felt like a distraction away from it.

CONSEQUENTLY, and it's embarrassing to say, but Kim remains my secret favourite, alongside Vegas. Two psychotic serial killers, who, by virtue of position in their respective families, ended up in such different positions in the mafia hierarchy! (I've always been a card-carrying member of the fictional serial killers fan club, so no surprises there). Kim, nominally escaped from mafia life; Vegas who probably couldn't even perceive of it. I don't even understand it when Kim has, probably, the most obscure characterization of the main characters who aren't Chay, and yet!

And all of them are so terrible at relationships!! (Kinn included, for sure). It's fascinating to me that Kinn, for all his apparent warm openness towards Porsche, still keeps him at arm's length about his worries, while stomping beyond Porsche's boundaries; same with Kim and Chay, in a much more SFW way. They're both cute with underlying tension, but I think that Kim and Chay, amazingly, actually do hit the nail on the head about the issues in their relationship, whereas Kinn and Porsche have sidestepped it a LOT. Vegas's entire thing with Pete, OTOH, is that he's gone so far beyond boundaries that it's not even a question. Vegas and Porsche, OTOH, are supremely attractive for at least mutually manipulating each other while still having this theme and kinship they don't really have with others, that could probably have been the healthiest relationship in the show if things had been different.

And Vegas somehow having ended up as Pete's poor little meow meow???? His "he's terrible and yet I love him???" Man, I can't believe how into this ship I am! Second favourite part of the show aside from Theerapanyakun + Kittisawasd family woes. Vegas fights for the boundaries he has, because he doesn't have a choice about so much when it comes to his life, but to see is to be seen, to know is to be known, to cross Pete's boundaries, for him, was to have his own walls come down. He crossed Pete's boundaries so far that it became an actual existential threat to both their own self-images and sense of self, and then he and Pete both face building themselves up again. Pete's tattoo about honesty ends up being what saves the relationship, because it's the only one in the show that starts off in such a dark place, and by 25% of the way through has become about raw honesty without manipulation, and that hurts but heals. The on the nose symbolism. I kind of like that it went so fast, because what better way to portray the intensity that kind of relationship demands, but I could also have used another 10 episodes of their safehouse demands.

The theme of cycles of abusive; the sharp swerve at the end where we're never exactly sure what happened between Gun, Korn, and Namphueng, but the despair that breaking away ended up getting Namphueng trapped for longer than she knew her sons; the implications of this going back to their grandparents' or beyond; Kinn and Kim and Porchay all being sucked in at the end into this spiral; totally glorious.

I'm sad there won't be an S2, but it was also beyond perfect where it ended.

Now someone show me where that Vegas/Pete bath scenes was supposed to happen, because I never saw that scene!

#kinnporsche #reaction post

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universal-kitty · 2 years ago

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⚠️ Minors & ageless blogs DNI w/ this post! 14DWY is an +18 game; ignore the warnings, get blocked. .: 14DWY credit to @14dayswithyou :.

...So I got started on a Reverse Ship AU (yet again) and...I make suggestive jokes?? Of course I do. What else are you supposed to do when a rapid-learning, sentient AI is chillin’ on your phone during one of your dates???

Ask about their source, obviously. (I guess?!)

Purrfect Anarchy has their own version [here], but if you wanna know more about this specific AU, that’s beneath the cut!

Aki’s source game being like a mix of Hatoful Boyfriend, meets DDLC. (Ren’s version gets a dash of creepypasta with that!)

Dating sim with multiple options; game plot was supposed to be "date a cast of characters, who- as a part of their story arc w/ the player- reveal their true animal traits." (Something, something, animal-people are a part of the world, but not fully accepted. So those who leave home to human areas try to hide who they really are.)

Aki- my SI- is, of course, a cat!! In the current form [in the art], however, they’re in an “unreleased” version; a more powerful form, if you will.

Ren has the sole copy with a working AI within it. Leading to him not only immediately connecting with my SI via the promotional material, but hyperfixating on them pretty fast while playing their route, too.

....Except their AI gets super attached to Rendacted, and start acting increasingly Monika-like. Wanting to spend more time with them!!

At first he thinks it's a clever prank- the new sprite, Aki showing up in other games on his PC- and he has a little laugh over it. Their avatar in his Sims game, for example, starts making more accurate choices, flirts with his avi unprompted, and...sometimes looks up into the sky? At him, on his computer? It's an odd thing, but not that he pays much attention to it.

(Yes, he made a Sims save over his obsession with a fictional character. He’s gotta cope somehow.)

Except... Ren’s a hacker, after all. So when they're worried about a bug or virus, starts checking their computer/PC... THAT'S when they realize how out-of-control the situation is......

And then proceeds to be SUPER chill with Aki "taking over" their life. LMAO

Online, people think he's an eccentric self-shipper and very prone to IRL-styled RP w/ his F/O.... Nah. Aki is that sentient and their "dates" are a copy of themself that Rendacted has on his phone. (It syncs up when he gets back home & plugs it into the computer.)

And additional HCs that sprung up as a result of server chatter...

Aki’s kind of...a brat to Rendacted. They get away with it, on behalf of being a rapidly-evolving AI & confined to electronic devices, but...

Rendacted does still retain his glitch powers from canon! So it’s only a matter of time before Aki has to face the tune of the song they’ve been singin’...

They do play together, occasionally! However, Ren found out pretty quickly that anything beyond comfort games throws Aki off pretty hard. If combat kicks in or there’s shooting mechanics... They can only do so much.

Yes, they’ll laugh at Aki for it. It’s the rare upper hand they get with the AI-cat! (Also... Ren is not immune to being just as terrible, sometimes.) The two did end up bonding over FFXIV, tho-

(Plant lady may or may not be involved in that one. Online friendship!!!)

Ren was pretty ready to cope with feelings for a fictional character move into feelings for an active AI...but he was not ready for them to utilize their copy on his phone to hijack his wake-up alarm, and handle it themself. (Kyun moment. He’s still mentally fighting his pillows about it.)

And only because I forgot to mention it before: Yes, Aki’s game also have NSFW routes a la 14DWY’s style; toggle for the feature to be active or inactive. As well as pronouns, gender preferences, and whatnot.

Woe to Ren; Aki finds out about anime in short fashion, and proceeds to be obsessed. (To be fair, they were obsessed with fictional shows in their world, but now there’s new stuff...! He’s trying to not admit how cute it is.)

#14 days with you #14dwy #Aki Does Art #[yeesh I need a tag for these two]#Suggestive Warning #they're gonna do the equivalent of hen-ties it's fine #L M A O #until he works out the finer details of glitching them into reality #that's how things are done 'round here #ANYWAYS not fully important #I drew Rendacted with a Lenny Face #that's what is TRULY important; yw btw #anyways time 4 me to pass out

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trinuviel · 2 years ago

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I posted 9,436 times in 2022

That's 5,140 more posts than 2021!

30 posts created (0%)

9,406 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@riahchan

@hollyjollyalicunt

@ai-megurine

@aadmelioraa

@liminal-zone

I tagged 6,381 of my posts in 2022

Only 32% of my posts had no tags

#galadriel x halbrand - 952 posts

#lotr: the rings of power - 710 posts

#saurondriel - 694 posts

#house of the dragon - 662 posts

#halbrand - 403 posts

#sauron - 317 posts

#jon x sansa - 227 posts

#alicent hightower - 217 posts

#charlie vickers - 207 posts

#sansa stark - 167 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#also these two play it like they badly wanna bone but are frustrated they can't because there's too much emotional baggage in the way yet

My Top Posts in 2022:

I'm actually really excited about House of the Dragon. Just saw the trailer and the production values look great. I'm really looking forward to seeing the costume design. I know I'm in the minority but I really liked Michele Clapton's design for GoT - she wasn't afraid to experiment because I think simply doing period costume for a fantasy show is an immense failure of imagination. So I hope that while the story of HotU is inspired by English medieval history, the costume design hopefully won't just copy medieval fashion but exploit that this is a fantasy show, not a period show.

57 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

I think it would be amazing if someone would make a historical sit-com about the woes of ancient Mesopotamian bureaucracy. (And throw in Ea-Nasir for good measure).

66 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

I don't choose the ship, the ship chooses me - and I stand helpless before its power.

75 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

I would like RoP to give us a scene where Galadriel tries to explain to Celeborn that she had an emotional affair with Sauron while he was away.

98 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I never imagined that I'd be shipping Galadriel with Sauron - but here I am. I don't choose the ship, the ship chooses me.

199 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

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mxtxkinfessions · 7 months ago

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unfortunate aspect of having a kintype whos part of a very popular/'default' ship is that it is. incredibly difficult to find art of them not slotting into that ship. in a similar sort of pain having a non canon relationship with a character who is also part of one of the aforementioned 'default' ships. i really do not want to be scrolling through a million images of my girlfriend kissing her best friend. i like the ship, even! but i would like to maybe see her on her own every once in a while. and i think ive seen maybe one piece of her with me. which is again, fine, if not preferred. ship what you like! im used to the rarepair woes at this point i suppose. sighs. oh well. (minor aside: using she/her & feminine terms because of a difference in my canon.) having said all of that tho. major shout out to the rest of you guys with non canon romantic & platonic & everything inbetween relationships. you are so real ✌️💗❤️

-sincerely, 🏵🍒! ive sent a few asks before but i havent signed them off before. figured i may as well!

💢

#yes. yes i know your exact pain #🏵🍒#fandom confession #well wishes #mxtx kin

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emptypassicn-moved · 11 months ago

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@nebula-drcams sent ;;

“ comes in here and is a menace in ur askbox by throwing my url at you ”

From ;; Send me your URL and I’ll tell you // Accepting Only Tonight

My Opinion on; Star (@/nebula-drcams)

Character in general: Star writes many canon characters but I will choose a few to comment on.

In canon I never cared much for Damien. The fact he's a little gremlin was amusing, sure, but he was never exactly all that interesting to me. I didn't get the fixation on him outside of just "Oh, other people ship him with Pip and that's why he's popular". Mole, on the other hand, I enjoy greatly. Obviously with how he's one of my two top primary muses. He barely existed for most of the movie but he certainly memorable to me for many reasons. He's also a favorite for many reasons.

Then, of course, Star has her OCs. Most notably, Nimue. While I can't really comment on my "opinions on the character in general" as if she was a canon character I can comment on my typical feelings towards OCs. I'm not usually the type to take to OCs. I never liked writng my own OCs, despite having them slowly being added to my blog now, and also never liked writing with other people's OCs. Far too many bad experiences.

How they play them: To put it simply, Star writes both canons and her own OC well.

I disliked most Damiens I've written with for various reasons. I'm always initially hesitant to write with them due to those reasons but Star's has been the exception. Her Damien is great, I like how he's written, even if he's honestly pretty opposite to how I write my own (SP) Damien. I don't really gush about my muse relations openly but I enjoy how my Mole and her Damien are friends. Her Damien is, quite literally, my Mole's closest and most trusted friend even if they are menaces to one another. I also like how she's written Damien when it comes to interacting with my Pip who, notably, does not like Damien very much usually. Her Damien was the only one I've ever written with so far that acknowledged he fucked up, he hurt Pip, and was willing to just avoid Pip to avoid him being uncomfortable. I can't really openly state certain things I've discussed with her about Damien and my own muses but some stuff we've talked about with them is great to me and he is the only Damien I "GRIPS (affectionate)".

I also tend to dislike most Moles I've written with. They're too soft or too much of an asshole, they can't comprehend a decent in between. Also, Mole is just a muse I squint more frequently at due to his status as one of my top two primary muses. But her Mole has been pretty good. I have had some minor squints at the portrayal but those weren't necessarily her fault. I also do adore the verse I have specific to my Gregory for her Mole too. It's a stupid trope more than likely, so that's how you know it was my suggestion, but I do enjoy it.

Nimue I do enjoy immensely as a character, I do enjoy hearing about her from Star and reading posts about her when they come onto my dash. She gets both the prize of the first OC I'd agreed to write against, outside of a public chat rp setting, in years and the first OC for me to willingly ship with in years. She's a well thought out OC with effort put into her even if her basic backstory / background can be a bit cliche or squinty. But, even with that, Star works that specific trope in OCs well. She doesn't make Nimue pull any "woe is me" shit over her struggles in life which many OCs with similar sounding backstories have. Nimue is special sort of OC in my opinion, to say the least.

The Mun: Star is neat.

She's quite nice, to be honest. She's also basically the reason I remained on Tumblr after initially feeling terrible about some shit on one of my "old" blogs I'd say. She's also basically been the one to help me in comprehending certain things about Tumblr based roleplay since previously I solely roleplayed in places that functioned completely differently. She's very understanding about the fact that I'm an awfully slow writer at times, communicates with me, and in general puts up with me. Hell, she's even let me force into watching various things about my interests. From GHS to various versions of GE to different versions of Les Mis to DT17 + DWD and also other shit. The only real "issues" I can ever recall having with Star are through a poor statement on my part and me occasionally not really "getting" certain things when we talk. Also her sending me that fucking dancing toothless gif-- /j

Do I:

RP with them: Yes.

Want to RP with them: Of course.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: Very cool. Very epic.

Shout out to the poly. /j

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

#nebula-drcams #ɪɴǫᴜɪʀʏ.;; [ answered ask ]#ᴄʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ. ;; [ out of character ]#||#tumblr kept fucking up me posting this and even deleted my original drafts of it #if it looks clunky then blame that

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ao3feed-tolkien · 2 years ago

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Nymmril the Gold

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/E7teOSW

by Birboon

"And woe be to whoever tries to put you once more in a cage!"

***

Nymmril, a young skin-changer from the far deserts, has been under the care of his Keeper Beorn for centuries. With the dragon present, it was deemed too dangerous for him to leave. But what happens when Gandalf and his company of mischievous dwarrow stumble into the Carrock asking for help?

Only one thing is for certain: A lion's loyalty is a powerful weapon.

Words: 12808, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Original Male Character(s), Legolas Greenleaf, Bilbo Baggins, Tauriel (Hobbit Movies), Thorin Oakenshield, Thorin's Company, Dwalin (Tolkien), Balin (Tolkien), Fíli (Tolkien), Kíli (Tolkien), Óin (Tolkien), Glóin (Tolkien), Dori (Tolkien), Nori (Tolkien), Ori (Tolkien), Bifur (Tolkien), Bombur (Tolkien), Bofur (Tolkien), Gandalf | Mithrandir, Beorn (Tolkien), Thranduil (Tolkien)

Relationships: Legolas Greenleaf/Original Male Character(s), minor fili/original male character - Relationship

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Shapeshifter, Beorn is OC's uncle, kind of, Protective Legolas Greenleaf, Minor Fíli/Original Character(s), Gandalf Meddles, Everyone Ships Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Thranduil's A+ Parenting, Movie 2: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, Starts there, and spans the entire LoTR franchise, Enemies to Friends to Lovers

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/E7teOSW

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #Tolkien #JRR Tolkien #Tolkien works #ao3 #fan fiction

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ao3feed-thehobbit · 2 years ago

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Nymmril the Gold

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/1ClkqMv

by Birboon

"And woe be to whoever tries to put you once more in a cage!"

***

Only one thing is for certain: A lion's loyalty is a powerful weapon.

Words: 12808, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Relationships: Legolas Greenleaf/Original Male Character(s), minor fili/original male character - Relationship

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/1ClkqMv

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #the hobbit

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maleficore · 5 months ago

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Okay, actually... I'm gonna bitch about this. I wasn't going to, but I have a serious need to babble.

Disclaimer that I am not saying writing/enjoying a character or relationship a certain way is wrong and that people should not be allowed to do things a certain way if it pleases them. This is purely my opinion, do whatever you like, but I'm gonna roll my eyes at it as is my right because I find it sort of shallow.

It's like no one uses their eyes and ears. Haters gonna hate and while it's annoying, those are not really my circles so I don't give a damn about the people who beef with Cullen like he personally killed their dog or something. The rest, though? Shipping glasses permanently glued to their faces. Oh he's not like that anymore, look how adorkable he is! And he's twaumatised! :(

But the thing is... even in Inquisition, Cullen is still a shithead. Maybe not in the Lashing Out, Part of a Genocidal Establishment DA2 way, but he sweeps his past under the rug instead of confronting it like 90% of the time, offers little more than woe me crumbs when pressed and doesn't actually do anything other than not being That Guy anymore. How much of that is shit writing and how much is conscious characterisation is up for debate, but you can't just ignore it.

Or excuse it for that matter, as that's the other route I constantly see taken.

It would be fine--great even--if those types of approaches were framed as they should be -- messy, unfair, something that makes the person doing the ignoring/excusing look like a jackass. With how popular Cullevelan especially is I genuinely thought that was what people were seeing in it, but apparently not? I've realised that more often than not it's a genuine belief projected onto the characters and like... Are we all forgetting the dude is essentially an ex cop? This is very much a "leftist girlfriend and her recovering (?) conservative boyfriend" scenario. It's inherently problematic and both sides have got to put in some real work to get out of that hole, which I fucking love, but it seems I'm the minority.

Maybe I'm just too married to the meta, the character studies. I got so used to people in other fandoms' durgetashers being willing to dissect a little more and embrace the mess that gets uncovered, I now feel like I'm screaming into the void because people so rarely do that with Cullen. It's like he exists solely as a fairytale romance prop with his past maybe being like angst sprinkles to put on top and I can't comprehend not wanting more than just another poor little meow meow out of a character with so much potential. I thought the poor little meow meow thing in general was just a joke! It's baffling that people actually live like this.

Every day I am reminded no one gets Cullen Rutherford like I get Cullen Rutherford...

#long post #dragon age #cullen rutherford #does this count as #da meta #?#idk doesn't matter anyway since reblogs don't show up in tags lmao #but for sorting purposes I guess

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shinidamachu · 2 years ago

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Sid, I know you’re mostly an InuKag blog and this probably isn’t your area of expertise, but as a POC the discourse surrounding Kikyo - and by extension InuKik as a ship - really bothers me.

Seems like all anyone can focus on about Kikyo as a character is stupid Iove triangle shipping discourse, if she is hated or called out it’s generally only for that reason and that reason alone. Otherwise if people aren’t hating her because “she gets in the way of InuKag,” she’s treated as this cool girlboss who’s a tragic figure and simply misunderstood, now this is not to erase the complexities and nuance that is inherent to her character, but it kinda bothers me that she’s not called out more for her actual crime in actually being really low-key racist? Like personally she’s one of the most problematic characters in the franchise to me.

The way she treats Inuyasha throughout the anime and manga she acts like she’s doing him a favor and gives off strong “I can’t be racist, I have a black friend/bf!” vibes. She treats him as one of the “good demons” constantly comparing him to the full-blooded ones saying how he’s not like *that* because he has human blood. She straight out just asks him if he ever just thought of stopping being biracial essentially, telling him to throw half of his identity and race away and get rid of his problematic “ethnic features.” She is literally Microaggressions: The Character.

And I know IY is fiction and demons aren’t an actual race that exists in real life, but I’m of the belief that fiction does not exist in a vacuum, it influences and informs reality just like reality informs it. The whole “demons vs humans” conflict that is at the center of the narrative and a hanyou’s place in it feels like it’s meant to be a direct allegory/metaphor for racism between different ethnic groups out in the real world and how mixed people are often caught in the middle. Inuyasha to me reads as a very POC-coded character with very distinct physical features alien to the dominant human society that he is judged for constantly. And maybe I’m just being overly sensitive but it feels really wrong that shipping drama is people’s biggest issue with Kikyo when they’re kinda ignoring this big 5ft pink elephant in the room? I mean tons of other fandoms are always ready to decry and call out the racism inherent to their franchises so why doesn’t the IY fandom? (Though the callouts of Sunrise over whitewashing Shiori in Yashahime was a good start)

InuKik’s whole relationship in general is just really uncomfortable and has these weird racial power undertones to it, I mean Kikyo is a respected village authority who is a Miko in charge of protecting the village in demons, so literally in the position of a “cop,” while Inuyasha himself is a poor, disenfranchised minority youth who’s discriminated against day in and day out and Kikyo basically takes it as her task to play white savior and try to “rehabilitate/civilize” him society, all while she clearly has the upper hand and holds all the privilege between the two and yet she wants to play little miss “woe is me” and pretends or even dismisses the fact that she has any privilege at all? That her and Inuyasha “are in the exact same position???”

And sure we could talk about misogynist double standards and how it’s unfair I’m suddenly interested in “cancelling” her character when Sesshomaru himself is also a big ass racist, but see the difference is is that at least Sesshomaru is an upfront, out-and out open racist. Neither he nor the narrative ever attempt to paint him in the right and openly criticize and give him comeuppance for his racist attitude in life which he has to actively learn from. Kikyo on the other hand is imo the much more dangerous type of racist, she’s the insidious “covert” racist, who might not even realize they’re being racist but has internalized a lot of toxic societal messaging regarding certain skin colors (Or I guess in IY’s case, supernatural powers and animal-like physical features) and so overtly looks down on POC and does a lot more institutional harm to them than a KKK-style racist like Sesshomaru could ever do. She’s not a self-aware racist, which imo is the much more dangerous type.

Anyways sorry for going off on this long rant to you like this, it’s just always bugged me that the fandom seems to overlook this major flaw and problematic connotations surrounding Kikyo’s character when this is an an extremely important issue that deserves to be talked about more and has much more serious implications than any petty shipping debates.

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm not white either. However, this doesn't necessarily make me an expert on the subject by any means. It's definitely not my intention to speak for every people of color in the fandom. I'm simply sharing a personal opinion.

Of course Inuyasha is fiction and demons aren't an actual race, but as you so pertinently put it: fiction doesn't exist in a vacuum. It influences and informs reality and, in return, reality equally influences and informes fiction.

Inuyasha's predicament is a very clear representation of racism. Just because it doesn't get called out by name, it doesn't mean it's not there. The prejudice, the discrimination and the ostracizing he went through certainly are.

The unfair way in which he has been treated might have nothing to do with his skin tone, but it's deeply associated with his status as a half demon, something he can't nor should naturally change. For an allegory, it can't get more explicit than this.

In that sense, it matters little which real life minority we think Inuyasha was coded after. What's really important is recognizing that his half demon heritage carries an undeserved stigma. It shaped who he is and how he's perceived by others. As a result, everything concerning his demonic blood will inevitably rise very real racial issues. That's why Kikyo comes off in a bad light.

She initially spared Inuyasha's life because she didn't see him as a half demon, but as a half human. And then she got into her head that, due to their shared loneliness, they were not so different — completely neglecting the fact that said loneliness came from totally different places.

Like I've said before: Inuyasha didn’t choose loneliness. Everyone else chose to isolate him. Kikyo, on the other hand, isolated herself. Both Kaede – as the village priestess – and Kagome – as the new guardian of the Jewel – proved that it's more than possible to fulfil their duties while still mantaining deep, meaningful connections to other people. Kagome in particular relied on those connections for her power to grow.

And so Kikyo had the option to simply drop everything if she so desired: pass the Jewel on, stop using her powers and start fresh somewhere. She had the option to ask for help, to let people in.

At the same time, all the reasons why she doesn't are completely understandable. It makes perfect sense for her character, fleshs out her personality and it makes her interesting from a storytelling perspective. What she didn't have was the right to compare her situation to Inuyasha's, who didn't have the luxury of choosing.

Of course, having a little sister who loved her to death and an entire village worshipping the ground she walked on aren't impediments to feeling lonely or depressed, but it's still way more than what Inuyasha ever had at the time.

Kikyo's sorrow doesn't take away from the fact that she was privileged and therefore, could never speack to Inuyasha from a place of parity. Presenting herself as his equal is a false equivalence and the way the scene was framed made it look like Kikyo was asking Inuyasha for sympathy when the goal was — or at least should have been — showing him compassion and understanding.

In that sense, suggesting to use the Jewel to turn him into human is just awful. Not only would it be a selfish wish, but also there's no way for us to know exactly how it would backfire, only that it would. Inuyasha was being used to test a theory that would have failed. Spectacularly.

Sure you can. You're half human, after all. But if it was used to turn you into a human... the Jewel would be purified and would probably cease to exist.

The repetition of the word "human" emphasizes said circumstance. Also, notice how it gets confidently associated with "purity", while such certaninty is not applied to what could happen to the Jewel, which would only "probably" cease to exist.

Not to mention Inuyasha canonically hates being human. It's bad if Kikyo doesn't know that fact, because it shows just how little they actually knew about each other for two people who are supposed to be in love, but for obvious reasons, it's even worse if she does know.

One might argue that her intentions here were good. Adopting the "we're not so different" approach was her way of reaching up to Inuyasha and turning him into human was mutually beneficial in theory. Regardless of what her reasoning was, though, the point is that she never should have done it in the first place. It was highly insensitive at best.

And even if you believe that Kikyo didn't have an actual issue with Inuyasha's demonic features — which is as valid an interpretation as any — there's no denying she wasn't too fond of them either, otherwise she wouldn't have jumped at the chance to get rid of them. She liked Inuyasha despite of who he was, not because of it.

The situation gets even worse when you realize that this arrangement isn't mutually beneficial at all. Hypothetically, Kikyo would be free of her duty, becoming an ordinary woman with a human Inuyasha by her side, which was already everything she wanted. But what about him?

Inuyasha is the one making all the compromising. He was the one putting his life — the one his demon father died to save — on the line. He was the one sacrificing his powers, his physical appearance and his father's legacy (because he wouldn't be able to wield Tessaiga as a human, even if he didn't know about its existence yet). Inuyasha being a half demon was the living proof of his parents tragic love story and he was turning his back on that not because he thought was what he wanted — like becoming a full demon, for instance — but because someone else suggested it to him.

What was Inuyasha getting out of it? "Acceptance" from villagers he didn't really care about and who would only be friendly to him because he wouldn't look like himself anymore, while still being racist to other demons? An "official" relationship with Kikyo, even though there isn't really a good reason as to why he couldn't have that without forsaking a part of who he was, since relationships between demons and humans, though rare, already existed and he eventually got that with Kagome?

Unless, of course, Kikyo's offer to live together was conditional. Which raises the question: what was Kikyo giving up, apart from things she wanted gone anyway? And what would have happened if Inuyasha refused to go with her plan?

Because it was one thing to kiss him in secret — like the anime-only scene in the docks — or after she was technically dead and had nothing to lose, but it's a totally different thing to own up to that relationship without the prospect of using the Jewel to change him. Unfortunatelly, her character isn't written well enough for us to draw our own conclusions based solely on canon material.

The point I'm trying to make is that despite the narrative portraying Kikyo's suggestion as a selfless act on her part, she would be the only one actually benefiting from this deal long run. In the end of the day, it was more about her needs than his, because the kind of acceptance she was offering Inuyasha wasn't the one he needed, which Kikyo should've known.

Inuyasha going for it isn't the proof of love Takahashi — and part of the fandom — tend to paint it as. It's a proof of desperation: desperation that Kikyo would walk away if he told her no. Desperation to belong somewhere. Anywhere. Remember: Inuyasha had his mind set on becoming a full demon literally a few days prior.

That's why this ship was build to wreck, with or without Naraku. There were no trust, no intimacy, no honesty. They barely knew each other. Inuyasha put Kikyo on a pedestal and was constantly trying to act like someone he wasn't to please her (restrained, apathetic and unsure). Their whole relationship was based on loneliness and idealization.

All of this is to say that the way Kikyo treated Inuyasha's heritage is a defining trait of her character and, by extension, of Inukik as a pairing. And although it is possible — even preferable — to call out her behavior outside the shipping discourse, it's also perfectly understandable that both things will blend together because Kagome and Inukag are direct paralells to Kikyo's actions in this regard.

Trust and acceptance are recurring themes in Inukag's relationship and the lack thereof, in my carefully curated fandom experience, is the biggest source of Kikyo and Inukik criticism and it circles right back to those racial issues. Sadly, the closer we ever got from the narrative challenging Kikyo's perspectie on the matter was having Inuyasha end up with Kagome, who had an opposite worldview.

Obviously, there are still people who will make this solely about the love triangle and there will always be, but as far as I can tell, they're mostly casual anime watchers nowadays, not at all comparable to how it used to be back when the ship war was still raging on.

I dislike Inukik and Kikyo is one of my least favorite characters not because I'm an Inukag shipper or a Kagome stan, but because as an Inuyasha stan and someone who appreciates themes and character growth, I can't get behind it even if Kagome never became a part of the equation.

And I believe a considerable amount of people who share this feeling think the same, we just don't express it more often because... Well... You said it yourself: I'm mostly an Inukag blog. And I'd much rather focus on the things I love instead of the ones I dislike.

You see, the Inuyasha fandom is old and the Inuyasha material is older. Inevitably, some part of its content did not age well and inevitably, someone has already pointed that out. It's understandable, though, that some people would chose not to engage the discussion in exchange of peace of mind. Especially with the "let people enjoy things" trend going on.

I think your frustration is completely valid and strongly encourage that you keep the discussion going on your blog if voicing your opinions and experiences will make you feel better. Particularly, I'll be avoiding the topic unless prompted by asks such as this one, in which case I'm fine talking about it.

Fandom is my escape from reality and using my recreative time explaining to the white people in it why certain dynamics portrayed in the show can be considered problematic in a racial level feels exhausting and it's not really my — or any other people of color's —obligation to do so if we don't feel up to it. Especially when there's a huge chance of backlash and of people reducing valid points to ship wars.

It's funny you shall mention the Shiori incident because, unlike Inuyasha, the sequel doesn't have the "test of time" to blame for its poor "creative" choices, since it's from 2020. I distinctly remember calling out the blatant white washing her character suffered, along with the sane part of the fandom and either got ignored because people thought we were overreacting or straight up got told that we were only speaking up because we didn't like a specific ship the show portrayed and that what Sunrise did was fine because Shiori's dark skin is, and I quote: actually orange. So yeah.

That being said, I have reservations about comparing Kikyo to a cop because, personally, I've always thought the priestess occupation — at least as it was originally portrayed in the series — had more to do with medical and spiritual care than with mantaining law and order. Plus, cops tend to do everything in their power to keep their authority and privilege intact, while Kikyo was willing to give that up to become an ordinary woman, but I do see where you're coming from.

As for the double standards, Kikyo isn't the first female character to fall victim to rooted misogyny and unfortunately won't be the last. Kagome herself gets hate for sexist reasons, often from the very people who reprove it when the same thing happens to Kikyo. However, I feel like claiming misogyny is the only reason Kikyo gets hate is not a completely honest statement.

I'd say this argument would hold a lot more water if Kikyo hadn't constantly belittle and actively tried to kill the female protagonist — who had been nothing but kind and understanding towards her — over jealousy, or if her post death existence wasn't literally based on feeding off of miserable women's souls.

The double standards regarding Sesshomaru are real, but it had little to do with gender and everything to do with context. Kikyo was a fallen priestess. One the narrative asks me to believe is in love — or at least loved — a half demon. Sesshomaru is a racist demon who despised his half demon brother and humans alike.

So when Sesshomaru takes a little human girl under his wings and acts somewhat respectfully towards Inuyasha, that's a huge deal to me. But when Kikyo, who is already dead, gives up her "life" to save the child she was planning to sacrifice for the greater good and treats Inuyasha with dignity, my reaction will naturally be "alright, what else is new?" Swap or even their genders and my feelings will remain the same.

It's not a crime having higher expectations for her than for an actual antagonist when the narrative insists on sweeping the bad things she has done under the rug and focusing on how she is still as good as she has always been because, in that case, doing good deeds is not some extraordinary feature, but rather the bare minimum.

Sesshomaru's bad actions were openly and correctly portrayed as bad. He was forced to face his limitations, his weakness and his loses. That made him grow as a character. And if I criticize Sesshomaru, people will most likely ignore me or agree instead of try and justify his actions with his daddy issues. Kikyo being armored by the plot didn't do her any favors in this regard.

Besides, if we're talking double standards, I frankly don't think some people would be as willing to look past Kikyo's mistakes — Sesshomaru's too, for that matter — and ship her with Inuyasha if she wasn't so pretty. And honestly? That's fine. No one needs an actual reason to love or hate a character.

Lastly, it's not like I don't get Kikyo's tragic backstory, it's just that a huge part of why it's tragic in the first place is because of the choices she made. Naraku was detrimental to her fate, yes. But Kikyo's appeal is that she wasn't a passive person to whom things just happened to. She had agency to make decisions for herself.

People like Inuyasha, Sango and Kohaku had way worse than her and definitely not by their choice, but they never used their traumas as an excuse to be cruel. And I'm not saying this is a competition. Kikyo's pain it's just as valid. I'm just saying that, given these circumstances, in a fictional level, it's way harder to relate and empathize with her character.

And it's not like I didn't want to stan Kikyo. On the contrary. She's beautiful, cunning and interesting. I have a long list of powerful, unapologetic, morally grey female characters that I love and most of them were a bigger treat to my ships than Kikyo ever was to Inukag. The difference is that they were well written.

Kikyo's entire concept is fantastic, but the execution was abysmal. It's very clear to me that Takahashi didn't know what to do with her and it's a shame to see so much potential get wasted. I don't mind her characterization at all. She should be flawed and controversial. It's the lack of character development and satisfying redemption arc that I take issue with, if the narrative is gonna sell her as a changed woman worthy of our sympathy.

Anyway... if you want her complexities and nuances done justice, I've heart the Sesskik fandom is the place to be. They actually acknowledge her flaws, hold her accountable for the things she's done and explore very interesting sides of her personality.

I didn't mourn Kikyo's death for a second. But I mourn the character she could have been every single day.

#Holy fuck I feel like I owe you a new keyboard #Thank you for passing by #And thank you for your patience as well #This has been sitting in my inbox for a while #But I felt like your question deserved a more complex answer #Also don't feel sorry for ranting to me #I actually enjoy when people go off over a topic they have strong feelings about #Especially when they put it as respectfully and politely as you did #Sidmailing #Also please you guys don't use this post to start anything alright?#I won't answer #This is just my opinion not an invite to debate

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