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diezmil10000 · 9 months

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2023 art summary + thoughts on my own art progress under the cut!!

(template by HedgeCatDragonix on deviantart)

so i've been doing this for 10 years :P

i'm not posting these pics in high quality, they're somewhere on the internet if you want to scavange for a bit. i didn't start taking art seriously until late 2015 and i honestly don't like looking back at old drawings. i still like my 2022 art summary but it wasn't until this year that i'm proud of all my finished artworks.

my art journey is complicated. i'm not one of those artists who can say they've been drawing for all their lifes. i used to trace pokémon in my school agendas but that was it. around 2013, a couple of friends invited me to their Skype server where we used to draw each other's ocs and make art memes and stuff - it was fun and cringe in the most positive way i can say it :] i didn't know shit about art and i took pride in drawing on MS Paint with a mouse just because it was hard.

(all of my drawings until may 2018 were made with a mouse)

when i was 15 yo i got into Love Live! and i decided to get better at art because i didn't want lesbian fanart to be made only by creepy cishet men. at some point i watched this video from Sycra and it rewired my brain. i understood that i needed to actually practise and understand what i was doing, and that i wasn't going to improve just by observing. its follow-up video also helped me a lot, i remember watching it on the day it was posted jskhfdjdfd.

and so fast forward until 2021 approx. i spent all of those years practising drawing in my traditional sketchbooks, so my improvement was steady. the only problem, and in retrospective i see it as a Big Problem, is that i was grinding mindlessly. by that i mean that i copied artists i liked and i drew again and again stuff i was bad at, but i didn't think too deeply about it or analysed my own art to look for faster ways to improve it. i also don't take feedback well so i didn't ask for it either, which further slowed down my progress.

on top of it, that just made me better at drawing, not at illustration. i firmly believe that a good drawing is hard to ruin but i could have made my illustrations way more interesting if i had started going wild with colors and effects way earlier. i don't exactly regret my choices because at the end of the day it's just my hobby, and i've been praised for drawing a lot and for challenging myself to practise drawing traditionally, so i want this to be read as introspection rather than complaints!!

the reason why 2021 was a big change in my art is because in november i did this monstrosity:

i got an Android tablet to be able to draw in class and took the challenge alongside my friend Nico, who also did their own Huevember. hola si estás leyendo esto Nico, aunque lo dudo :) i can't say that any of the drawings made me better at anatomy, or composition, or colors. i can't say that they solidified my knowledge, either. but they planted a seed in my brain that would fully bloom in late 2022, which is the seed of hating the finished result of some pieces so much that i forced myself to improve.

everyone has their own motivation to get better at art and i've always thought that mine was a healthy one (i want to draw more lesbians, that's all). however, i've had a very solid 2023 and now i don't cringe at any of my pieces, plus i can notice any mistakes they have without wanting to delete them from existence - and i could only get there because at the end of 2022 i told myself i wouldn't make any more ugly illustrations. like, period. i didn't want to get anxious every time i had to look back on my own art.

i also learned that no ammount of compliments from others would magically make me like a piece i see as mid at best. of course, i appreciate every single nice comment i get (genuinely, i get very happy knowing that other people love my work), but gratitude doesn't fix a skill issue.

so, late 2022, many things happened. first i got cancelled on twitter over a drawing of my beloved mizuki from project sekai (this info will be relevant later). then i spent a whole month doing this other monstrosity that is to this day the best thing i've ever done. i haven't peaked it (yet):

this comic actually made me improve and solidify my skills. it wasn't a class assignment, or a collaboration, or anything more than a headcanon i shared with a friend - it was pure brainrot over Revue Starlight and it made me put all my cunt into it. this was also the point at which i started filling in blacks with the bucket tool instead of picking a very dark color, which is a big part of my current style :3

the thing about people cancelling me is that i had to distance myself from fandoms and eventually change accunts, which also affected how i perceived my own art. even if i draw for myself, at the end of the day i still draw characters that are loved by many people, so i disabled comments and stopped interacting with other artists of my fandom circles. that led me to go on hiatus at the start of 2023, knowing that it was time for a fresh start (my art accounts were 5 years old anyway).

that period of time made me think a lot about my finished pieces. since i wouldn't post them until i had a new account, i would stare at them for longer than ever or make small changes even if days had already passed. letting my mind rest from illustrations i had been working on and knowing i could change them whenever i wanted was a big step forward.

i realised that for the past years i had been in a hurry to post my drawings as soon as i was done with them instead of appreciating them. that was a turning point for my mindset. this was also past the time i decided to stop making ugly art, but i hadn't really taken any measures to get better. so i changed the wording of the challenge: i can make ugly art but i can't post it if i don't like it.

it doesn't sound epic, but for some reason it worked. every time i was in the middle of making a drawing that looked kind of ugly, i changed it until it looked right. not perfect, but good enough to avoid cringing in the future. some times i had to redraw it from scratch with a more interesting pose. some times i needed to add a background or a graphic element to make the characters pop. and somewhere on that period, i went wild with colors and effects, and a lot of times that saved a piece that would otherwise be boring.

i have to thank Revolutionary Girl Utena and Revue Starlight for making me experiment a lot during my hiatus. both pieces of media, one being the daugher of the other, give artists so many visual metaphors and interesting topics to work with. the revstar brainrot had been there since the junnana comic, but rgu was something i had been meaning to rewatch for a couple of years and it hit me like a fucking train. it also made me create one of the comics i'm the most proud about:

then i got into homestuck and my art got. well. stuck!! >D< but it was okay because i wasn't making ugly drawings anymore. i was putting into practise a lot of things i had been learning or experimenting with, especially regarding colors and character interactions. and the yuri was delicious hmmmmmmm.

the rest of 2023 was very linear in terms of art but not so much in terms of fandoms (?). which is fine, honestly, but i was also glad to get back into Fire Emblem: Three Houses in late that year because when i first got into it in 2019 i didn't have the skill to draw everything i wanted to draw. and i still haven't drawn all the yuri scenarios that i've been cooking in my mind, but i have until forever to do it!!

so for 2024 i want to study some stuff i feel i'm still lacking in. i think i've always had a good eye for composition, but i've never actually pushed it in my finished illustrations - they depend a lot on the poses because i've always been prioritising drawing over everything else. that needs to change this year.

i also want to get better at drawing characters from extreme angles. i've always felt like my poses are a bit flat and i think i can study photos taken with wide angle lenses to improve at that.

and of course i still want to draw faster, which is something i've always struggled with. i think i have a good rhythm of "producing" art (excuse me for the poor wording), but i'm still too slow for the kind of artstyle i want to achieve, which includes having a looser lineart and less details in irrelevant areas of the drawings. i think that overdoing the lineart actually hurts my illustrations, because everything ends up pulling the viewer's attention with the same energy. i also think messy artstyles are neat.

i promise i'm not crazy and i don't hate what i do. in fact, it's precisely because this year i managed to make some pieces with that kind of feel that i know where i want to aim. special mention to the junnana comic because i haven't been able to replicate that lineart ever since.

examples:

as for the stuff i like about my current artstyle, i definitely want to keep the way i color!! and by that i mean the method i have for applying filters that make my colors pop. i could maybe play more with textures too.

i also like the way i depict intimacy, and people have praised it too. thank you for noticing. it's the yearning that's doing it, not me. but i don't think i'll ever change the content (?) of my art, i eat breathe and speak in yuri. if anything, there are still some ways of conveying feelings that i haven't been able to draw because i lack the skill to do so, but i'll keep trying ;)

i honestly didn't expect this post to be this long. i've been writing for hours now and i'm not sure my thoughts are coherent for anyone that isn't me. i also can't grasp the idea that some people know me from fanart i did in 2016 while others started following me last month, time is wild and it's an extra dimension of complexity that i don't know how to account for when i write stuff like this.

but again, as i do with art, i've written this for myself. it's been nice to put my thoughts in order. i think i've only talked about art in depth with like 5 people and it's always been in casual conversation. no creo que estéis leyendo pero Nahia y Henar os amo y he aprendido mucho de vosotras.

thank you for reading until the end if you have. i hope you have not only a nice day but a nice year. let's meet again in the future.

#diez's art thoughts

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pomrania · 9 months

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((This is my explanation for how to do the "J-something's magic cast-on" or whatever it's called, for circular knitting where you want to start building the fabric right away and not have to attach anything later, like making a toe-up sock. I'm just copy-pasting what I'd written earlier, so everything will be in one post.))

It starts with two knitting needles, and yarn. Like some other cast-on methods, it requires the tail to be of a certain length because it uses both the tail and the working yarn; also like those methods, I can't say how long the tail should be; my best advice is "try something, and if it's too short/long then make it longer/shorter and try again".

It doesn't matter which end is the tail and which end is the working yarn; I'm going to refer to the ends as "north" and "south" because that's more convenient for me. The instructions I'd seen mentioned using a slip knot, but the person who showed it to me just had the yarn draped over one needle so that's how I'm depicting it; if that irks you, then just make a slipknot in the yarn (with sufficient tail) and put it on the northern needle.

The north end of the yarn will always get wrapped around the southern needle, and the south end of the yarn will always get wrapped around the northern needle. The end result will have it that like each needle has yarn spiralling around it, and between the needles, those spirals intersect with each other.

...I don't think I need to say this, but just in case your mind gets tripped up in specifics: "north" and "south" here are arbitrary distinctions. You could have it be on the leftmost or rightmost, upper or lower, it doesn't matter; all that matters is the relationship between what side something's on and what's the opposite side.

Over and between, between and over; over and between, between and over; that’s what I was telling myself, when I’d just learned it, to remember how it goes.

You take the north end, pass it below both needles, over the southern needle, and then between the needles to return to its starting position. (“Over and between”.)

Then bring the south yarn up between the needles, over the northern needle, then below both needles to return to its original position. (“Between and over”.)

The above image is particularly messy because it’s just a really complicated thing to draw; but trust me, even if I had a photo of what this looks like, it wouldn’t be much easier to follow from picture alone.

Keep repeating the stuff. Over and between, between and over; over and between, between and over. Keep going until you’ve the amount of stitches you want for your cast-on, and it’s an equal amount on both needles; that means that you’ll end with the “over and between” step.

((Not in the original post, but something I've since realized I should add: you might have to twist the tail and the working yarn together, right before you start knitting. If you find that the first stitch "evaporates" when you go to knit it, like you're undoing it as you attempt to make a stitch, then twist the yarns together and then try it. I think it may have something to do with whether the tail or the working yarn is north/south, possibly what kind of stitch you're using; but I've never cared to experiment to find out, because there's such an easy fix to make it not a problem.))

#no fandom #not a reblog #knitting

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thewakingcloak · 1 year

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Thanks beyond thanks for the reply - you'll definitely get credit (or at least a big tip if i can ever finish this project and get it out there), because you're among those I've learned from, and coming from a position of zero education and no modern programming knowledge, I can assure you: it's been difficult to piece together an education in game design with an improvised curriculum, so every little bit helps. While most people who get into this come from a programming background end up needing assistance with the art and music ends, I'm coming at it from the opposite side of the spectrum: I've been composing, recording, and engineering music since the magnetic tape era and doing digital design/animation for just as long, so it's just the coding I have to really apply myself to and make myself learn. I won't lie: it's been frustrating, trying to figure it all out by reading manuals and various youtube videos, reddit threads, and yoyo forums because while I'm able to learn the functionality of the code easily enough and there are a lot of helpful resources out there in that respect, context is everything and it can be maddening, trying to figure out how to apply what I've learned in useful or practical ways. For example, I've figured out enough to know that data structure grids can probably help me overcome my current problem with collisions (like you, I began building my 2.5d environment from that exact Matharoo video and even managed to write a pretty decent place-meeting-3d script from the ground up... until, like you, I hit my current impasse of being unable to figure out how to handle multiple collisions at once... but, unlike you, every alteration i make to my code only creates more problems), but while I understand how ds grids work, I can't figure out the proper context in which to apply them as a solution to my collision problem. So, I'm giving up and resorting to reverse engineering - when it comes to a lot of things, I can usually figure stuff out if i can just see it working under the hood, so i hope that's true for ds_grid collision implementation. I'm telling you this because I downloaded your suite of 3d scripts and intend to try and figure out how to implement them, working backward. I honestly don't mean to steal all your work, as you've been more than generous in helping people like me by sharing it in the first place, but it's hard to resist using it as a basis for my education because the physics of your project and your design process and ideas (like self-skinning objects) are so similar to mine. I can assure you, though: I won't be simply copying and pasting your functions, because I have no idea how to use them or from where to run them... it'll be trial and error (already, in trying to structure a Shaun Spaulding-style collision code (might as well start with what i know and see what works!) using your version of place_meeting_3d, I immediately encountered a "variable not defined" error in the instance-place-3d script it calls... maybe because I'm substituting noone for null, which is a variable gm doesn't appear to recognize, or maybe not... this is gonna be fun). At any rate... thank you. Sooner or later, I'll get past the physics and into the familiar territory of writing, drawing, and composing... but without your scripts, who knows how long that would take me! Shoulda gone to college... oh well.

You're welcome, anytime! Gamedev is such a multidisciplinary thing that it's a LOT to try to do all at once, whether you're coming from a programmer position and aren't good at art, or an artist who doesn't know programming yet. College helps with foundational stuff, but what you're doing (researching and learning yourself and putting it into action) is a pretty powerful method and will carry you a long way

You're right, null is a macro I created to stand for noone. Hard to break my day job coding habits haha. It sounds like you're somewhat familiar with the debugger, but I highly, highly recommend learning it more (especially breakpoints and such) for figuring out stuff like "variable not defined". The GameMaker debugger can be a little misleading at times, but it's so much easier than all the guesswork. It's improving a lot in the latest updates too!

It's been a while since I've looked at my 3D collision stuff in depth (it kind of scares me now lol), but yeah, learning how the ds_list stuff works should help. It's basically just (if I remember correctly) grabbing a list of things the object is colliding with, and then checking whether or not they match up on the z axis. I don't want to necessarily say "collide" because it's not using the built-in GM functions for z-axis collisions, but it's checking the z position, height, and seeing if either intersect.

So basically: get a list of collisions on the normal x, y coordinates as a ds_list, then loop through the list and check for intersection on the z axis. If so, there's a 3D collision!

Gamedev is no joke, but you've got the right approach and you're making great strides, keep it up!

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oraclekleo · 1 year

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Finances related tarot readings

Hello my dear followers and random visitors of my posts!

Some of you probably know that I'm a very productive adult person with a responsible job in a bank. That's one of the main reasons why I can't really work on completing readings all day long.

But! In this time of high inflation and just things being financially tough in general (and financial difficulties can severely affect our mental state and emotions, of course, and eventually our physical health, too), I have thought I could perhaps use the fact I have a good and friendly relationship with the financial sector and maybe offer some money related tarot readings.

PLEASE! DON'T TAKE ME WRONG HERE. NEVER EVER BASE YOUR FINANCE RELATED DECISIONS ON TAROT OR ORACLE OR LENORMAND OR KIPPER OR RUNE READINGS! NEVER! THOSE CAN ONLY DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO ASPECTS AND SUBJECTS YOU SHOULD LOOK MORE INTO. BEFORE MAKING ANY MONEY RELATED DECISION, MAKE YOUR RESEARCH AND CONSULT SOMEONE TRULY COMPETENT LIKE THE PERSON FROM YOUR BANK WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACCOUNT, OR FINANCIAL ADVISOR, OR STOCK BROKER, YOU KNOW, SOMEONE WITH THE ACTUAL DETAILED KNOWLEDGE.

When this warning is off my shoulders and I truly mean it! I consider myself decent with money but I'm still learning myself and you should also know I have never studied any economy related school or even subject. I sort of learned everything from real life experience and I'm in no way an expert.

However, if you were interested in some general suggestions regarding your personal money management, little nudges towards the direction you might need to explore in more details, I can surely provide that.

I have already assembled one general tarot spread for this topic and I have tested it on myself and it looks like it works just fine so I can share it here with you.

Fiscal Year Ahead tarot spread

Expenses to cut (advice on what might not be wise to waste your money on in the upcoming year)

Sources of Income to explore (it can refer to side hustles or to a new direction of your career…)

Money Management Advice (general advice regarding your skills of handling personal finances)

Financial Forecast (what to expect / avoid / be prepared for in the upcoming year)

Investment Tip (general suggestion on what areas you might explore in order to invest in them, it can refer to simple things like your health and advising you to stop eating fast food and invest in groceries and start cooking better food for yourself or it can draw your attention to stock market, if you have some extra money to be invested)

For those who are not familiar with the term Fiscal Year, it's 12 consecutive months but they don't have to copy the actual calendar year. I have used this term in the title of the reading to address the fact that this tarot reading is giving you information for the 12 months ahead of you from the moment of when the reading is done for you. So you're not waiting for the 1st of January to start implementing the advice, you can start immediately. 😊

This tarot spread is clearly not the only option on how the finance related tarot reading can be done but I simply wanted to show you an example.

So! Would you be actually interested in such types of tarot readings? You can say no, it’s no problem for me. I’m simply offering it but if you don’t really trust this or you are not interested, feel free to tell me. I’m not gonna be sad about it. 😂

Let me know what you think!

Thank you and have a great day!

Kleo 🦄

#oracle kleo #kleo offers #tarot #tarot readings #tarotblr #tarot community #finaces tarot

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antifaagainstapathy · 1 year

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Request for hive mind input---

(And yes...starting to realize I should probably draw a stick in the sand to cut myself off from this individual)

Yesterday I asked his thoughts on Texas house bill SB 14--- the one that now bans doctors from using hormone treatments when working with children with transgender issues.

I mentioned that I spent several hours the previous Friday in the state capital building watching deliberations- without going into further detail about why I was there.

His initial response was an anti Trans article by one one of those bogus groups (political pretending to be valid medical or scientific).

I pointed out the problem with the source and provided at least 5 articles- the first based on a Stanford study?

His response?

Essentially something along the lines of "their sample size was too small...therefore it's bad science.. therefore it's meaningless "

(I'll post exact verbiage and links shortly)

A. Is this guy a little nuts or a lost cause/ full on MAGA?

B. Is there any chance of getting through at all? Or should I just cut ✂️ my losses? (Will also explain how I know him)

Ok....about to do a nearly pure copy of the conversation:

The beginning: me- if you're interested in continuing w/ the political discussion I potentially have the next topic:

https://www.texastribune.org/2023/05/12/texas-trans-kids-health-care-ban/

His response

https://acpeds.org/transgender-interventions-harm-children

Me: I suspected as much:

Him - any studies to support your side ?

Me - hundreds, how many do you need?

Him - I can't find any that are scientifically significant.

By population or duration.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2022/01/mental-health-hormone-treatment-transgender-people.html

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-the-science-on-gender-affirming-care-for-transgender-kids-really-shows/

https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/should-psychiatrists-prescribe-gender-affirming-hormone-therapy-transgender-adolescents/2016-11

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31027543/

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2022/01/15/transgender-hormone-therapy-early-start-helps-mental-health-kids/9174802002/?gnt-cfr=1

https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/should-psychiatrists-prescribe-gender-affirming-hormone-therapy-transgender-adolescents/2016-11

His comments

First study, patients are self diagnosing.

No actual objective measures

My response

Dude.....you are rejecting essentially every credible organization out there.

Carefully analyze why

You're coming across like an ignorant twat.

I think I see why you like Peterson so much...both unwilling to see science and look past what you want to see

Him

Ok, what objective measures are being used in the first study?

I truly love science and it's method, and try to keep an open mind when looking at the world.

You're trying to challenge Stanford medical school? Honestly?

*** I spent nearly 3 hours in the Texas house (this past Friday) listening to debate over the bill I initially told you about....the thing that became PAINFULLY CLEAR was the fact that the gentleman who proposed the legislation has no understanding of medicine, trans issues, mental health, or the likely impact of his proposed legislation

That's 99.9% of it now

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glass-warehouse · 2 years

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NICHOLAS VINTEREN

oh god i did it. i'm gonna need a shirt that reads; i'm an artist! ask me about my hand! and then on the back, SPOILERS: it hurts.

anyway here is my MC just before it all goes to shit. something something peacock feathers symbolising pride something something the height of pride before a fall—you get me?

BONUS!!!: here is a shitpost i drew as a real insight into how i felt for about 35% of the process.

You don't have to read this if you don't want to. This is my rant and criticism space, it's really more for me. Thanks 7 years of conditioned behavior.

I considered this piece abandoned a few months ago. Just as I was starting the first pass of shading I saw a massive error. I'm pretty vigilant with my layers, keeping copies in case I need to go back and fix something, but I thought I was all done and dusted. Ready for the next stage. So I had no backups. At this point I'm too far in to easily fix it without making a huge mess and it was a massive motivation killer. I couldn't stop thinking about it and I didn't want to continue, so I left it.

Months later I came back, the work I hadn't finished was perfectly fine, I thought it looked good. I decided that I was going to finish the piece even if it killed me even with the mistakes. It happens to all of us. And man I am so happy I continued.

I could've kept going on it to be honest, but I had to put a stop somewhere. There are problems, things I wish I had or hadn't done, but for what it is I'm damn pleased with myself. So I'd say it was a success :)

The last 45 minutes were spent on the background (look too close and I'll kill you). There wasn't even going to be one before then. Glad I stuck out the extra time even though I was fucking exhausted and ready to have my hand completely crushed by a large object.

Around 75% of the way done I notice that my auto-saves are causing my laptop to freeze. I know hefty files can do this but it's only a full body drawing, not what I'd consider hefty. Well it turns out that past me thought so highly of this piece, before it was even a sketch, to have it be in 4K RESOLUTION. That shit is crisp as hell, drink in all that clear detail, so long as Tumblr doesn't nuke it from orbit. (Future me here to say that yep, it got nuked. Guess I'll be the only one who gets to see it in high def, just what I wanted lmao 😒)

It sucks even more because I'm noticing the lack of clarity on another piece I'm doing, but I 1. don't need 4K quality and 2. my laptop can't take that level of a beating every time CSP auto-saves. Yeah I could turn off auto-saves but that feels like just asking for trouble.

Also yeah, I'm doing one for Hebe. It won't be as detailed as this piece because, unfortunately, that ability is on cooldown. Doesn't mean I won't try my hardest regardless, I just fear what might happen to me if I try that again too soon. I don't want another 3 month long shutdown. (As I write this I'm literally at the same point in her piece as I was with this one just before I gave up, lol)

#no joke my knuckles seized up while I was shading and lighting the train #also waistcoat with an attached train?#legit favourite piece of 'fictional' clothing #according to my docs the last time I made a piece with a similar composition to this it was 2020 #what the fuck #what have I been doing?#or more likely #not doing #checkmate in 3 moves #checkmate in three moves #interactive fiction #MC #herbington #digital art #myart

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archangelmacaron · 2 years

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I woke up painfully early again, so I guess my New Year's musings can go here.

It's really strange to think about how, not even a year ago, I wasn't writing or drawing at all. I hadn't seriously sat at a keyboard for years, and hadn't picked up a pencil for even longer than that. I always loved writing, but I just didn't feel like I had much to say. I've always felt confident in my ability to write fanfiction believably, but original stories seemed so far beyond me. I tried to write something once dealing with my grief of losing someone important to me, but even then, the problem was I was too focused on what other people would think of it--and this was before the word 'problematic' was thrown all over the internet. 'Is this character too mean? is this one too much of a 'mary sue'? She's sixteen and he's an ancient fae, is that too much of an age gap!?' (Even back then, it was a human-inhuman relationship, although the characters were all human-looking--something I'm a little bored by now, if I'm honest!) I really didn't get very far in this... and I'm almost positive I unthinkingly deleted all copies. My biggest mistake was I felt I needed to write in order--so of course I'd get stuck! I think it was Calvin Wong who said, drastically paraphrasing, 'painters don't start by always painting the top left corner blue, why is writing different?' I cannot explain what a breakthrough it was to understand that I didn't have to write scene A, then B, then C, etc--I could write scene D or even M or Z, whatever came to me at that moment, and go back and loop them together--or discard them if they no longer fit. There really are no rules.

My other major breakthrough was realizing I didn't want to write about human relationships. I actually can pinpoint when that occurred, after playing a few seasons of Noel TMF, I started to feel hungry for something, some specific story with specific dynamics, but I couldn't say what. After being unable to find something that hit that spot, I realized it was up to me to create it myself. I sat down one day and started to write for myself only. I never intended to share it with anyone, and that was very freeing--especially as literally all of my artistic work for years was made to be shared, it didn't have meaning otherwise. It's not really an art form I would do 'just for me.' Noel wasn't the only inspiration here. A few years ago, The Ancient Magus' Bride came out, and I cannot overstate the impact that had on me. Chise and I went through almost the exact same thing which just blew my mind. I cannot describe how cathartic it was to read the words 'I don't forgive you' about such a situation. Watching her learn and grow and become happy meant so much to me, and while back then, I would never have considered myself capable of writing such a story myself, now I know it's what I want to do. I want to help someone else, the way that helped me understand recovery is possible no matter what you've been through, no matter how cursed you feel. Sometimes, I do still feel cursed, it's like people drag that curse back to me, like I can't escape it--which was why I was struggling so hard this month. I had to understand that the familial relationships I craved my entire life were not the familial relationships I was ever going to have, and let that dream go.

And so, I set out to write my own stories of healing and understanding and mystery and just a touch of horror. And I haven't been able to stop since. I'm not sure if, by excitedly looking forward to writing every day, to write something that 'hit the spot' I was seeking, that I trained myself into needing to write every day--I know that's how it worked for drawing, a habit is much more important than motivation! I think the final reason I write so much is, well, you! The support and enthusiasm from this handful of people who read my stories, starting with fanfic, and then actually caring about my original content, has blown my mind. The burst of joy I get from reading a comment--any comment--is one of the best feelings of my life. Even a 'like' on a post excites and inspires me to keep sharing, and even thinking that I'd like to reach more people for whom my stories 'hit the spot.' This is long, so maybe my art musings can be done another day. Or maybe I can go back to work on writing, after all, I really love it now! Thank you again for all your support. That matters, far more than you might think. I hope I keep creating things that make you smile!

#macaron musings #long musings

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medicinemane · 2 years

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One day I really need to learn how to draw, like for a number of reasons

One, is that anything like my carving is kind of only as good as the pattern it follows. For example the biggest problem with that commission (that I'm still working on getting myself to tie off the wire on) is my drawing is just ok

The carving is pretty good, and I did a good job of taking the reference and converting it into something I could use and figuring out the logistics of transferring it to something that big*, but like the hands and the face, and the fabric at the bottom are all worse cause I couldn't draw that, so I couldn't carve what I couldn't draw

Every creative thing I do will benefit from being able to draw, kind of like how I should pick calligraphy back up to improve my woodburning (drawing also important for that though). Just have to learn how to draw, and if I can also learn to draw digitally I can take commissions there too

Problem is I have no idea how to learn how to draw. I know people say practice, but... with the redstone I was doing (which I still need to clean up for the server, and also make a video on) I had a specific goal in mind. I had a binary of "is this doing what I need it to", and could ask how I could get closer to that as I went

Drawing... it's hard cause I didn't feel myself getting better at redstone, but I had something I could just smash my head against. Drawing I can't feel myself getting better at, but it feels like I'm just trying to draw something way past what I'm capable of with no success

It all feels like doodles or failure, and even if it's productive I can't tell, so I can't even tell if I'm going in the direction I need to

So that's my trouble with drawing, but I seriously seriously need to learn it. For me it's an essential skill because of everything else I do. To an extent I don't even need to get perfect at it, I need to get a good sketchy style where I can bang out an idea to draw or carve in a couple of minutes since I lose a lot of detail, but... the better I am, the better in general

*I think I took a picture with my phone, imposed the reference, drew a simplified version, and then had copied that using landmarks

#mm tag so i can find things later

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md3artjournal · 2 years

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3:53 PM 10/16/2022

I think I may switch up my Inktober drawings. I was running out of ideas, but now that dimiclaudeblaigan tag-commented about how much they love Catmitri and wondering what schemes Claude is going to do with the potions in his witch cauldron, I've suddenly got all these scenario ideas. What type of spell IS Claude casting?

Maybe Catmitri was originally a cat, Claude-witch's familiar? Then he changes to human form and doesn't understand why he can't just snuggle up with Claude anymore, like he did when in his cat form. lol

Or maybe Catmitri is witch-Dimitri, stuck in cat form, and Claude his helping him change out of it with a more manual spell? Maybe it works for a bit, but then the transformation spell doesn't hold, and he changes back into a cat. lol

So I should do a "one panel per day" comic. Each day of Inktober for the rest of the month, will be sequential, telling a story.

But that also got me thinking about how my daydreams are all in scale, not chibi, but I can't draw scale, realistic humans…unless I'm just copying a model or reference photo in front of me. It reminded me how stunted I feel when I draw. Out of all the forms of creative expression I have, drawing/illustration is the one that I can feel the weight of my restraints, the most. It is full of obstacles to my expression. I know what Flow feels like. I feel it when I write, and when I used to play fighting videogames daily. Hell, I've felt more Flow when I'm carving printmaking blocks or sculpting clay, than when I draw. Drawing is just this clunky thing where I feel I can't fully express myself. I don't have the skills in my toolbox to express the images in my mind. And it's so frustrating, when I know what seamless expression of what is in my mind, feels like, through videogames and writing. Hell, I've felt more flow in quilling and papercrafts. But illustration…? Eep. But then again, maybe being so aware of this skill/expression gap, to the point where it's painful and frustrating, is a good sign. It could mean I'm on the cusp of breaking through this barrier. Awareness is the first step in improvement, after all.

So I find myself suddenly and unusually motivated to practice some figure studies, so I can better express the daydreamed images (of DMCL, this Catmitri-human story) in my mind. I normally hate looking at humans---photorealistic humans. I couldn't even get myself to study human faces more, back in 2018, when I also knew I had to study realistic human faces, so I chose to draw portraits of tokusatsu actors that I like. I thought that drawing characters that I love would make it bearable. I did ONE sketch of Mahiro Takasugi as Micchy Kureshima---a character I love!---and I just couldn't do anymore. Then again, I do get discouraged whenever an illustration I've spent time on turns out displeasing to look at. Maybe I would have had more luck with charcoal (or pastels), since I have more experience drawing realistic humans with that medium.

At this point, I have to sneak in little bits of encouragement into every drawing I do, before I catastrophize into losing all hope in improving my illustration skills altogether. Like hiding medicine in a cat's food. lol Or alternating realistic (human) studies with fanart with reliably good results. The problem with that is trying to do 2 drawings in one day, everyday. I usually run out of time/energy by the time I get the fanart done for revitalizing my spirit and motivation. Then I end up with no time/energy left for the studies I need and really should do.

I'll figure something out. If I can simplify my drawings, then I can work faster. Maybe I'll try pencil/graphite (and watercolors) instead of charcoal. Will that go faster? I just have to make my Inktober drawings more simplistic. And I know that drawing Claude and Catmitri is faster than drawing 2 human chibi, so my idea to make the rest of Inktober a sequential comic about Claude-witch and Catmitri will already save some time. Or they can both be cats and that'll save me even more time. =^.^=

So the problem is that I'm already doing Inktober. Can I fit in 2 drawings per day? I'm a VERY slow worker, in EVERYTHING that I do. Is the rest of October going to be all-nighters? I've finally started making some progress in fixing my reversed sleep patterns. I don't want to purposefully wreck it.

#october2022 plans #drawing practice #inktober2022 #daydreams #headcanons #KhalidMitya #flow #drawing #progression #processing thoughts #please ignore my idiocy #project ideas

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greatwyrmgold · 2 years

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Thinking about Time Paradox Ghostwriter, how it showed so much promise yet turned out being a whole bunch of nothing, and how it might have been improved had Kenji Ichima's microwave was struck by lightning and spat out a copy of future manga critics discussing his work.

TL;DR (and boy howdy is it TL)

Plagiarism. This is a common angle of criticism, to the point that it makes people dismiss the series before applying any other criticism. And it's by far the easiest criticism to address; it just feels like the people behind TPGW didn't consider it until too late in production.

Why's White Knight good? A manga about manga needs to be good at explaining manga. A crucial plot point, and arguably the throughline tying all the story's events together, is the unsurpassed genius of Itsuki Aino's White Knight. The reasons why White Knight is good seem like they'd be

Itsuki Aino's death. It's a plot point that's introduced clumsily, resolved worsely, and just feels out of place. Part of that is just the fact that the series was clearly meant to have a bunch of chapters between the introduction and the death reveal, but given that this plot occupies eight out of fourteen TPGW chapters, I can't exactly ignore its problems. I probably should have made this #4, but I'm not restructuring everything now!

Emptiness. A series about manga should say something about manga, and TPGW absolutely says stuff about it. It's just not good, or consistent. And possibly unintentional, especially if we read a bit too much into the statement that stories don't need to have meaning to be good. A lot of people (myself included) read chapter 1 and assumed TPGW would have some interesting stuff to say about the creative process and what makes manga good, but all we got in the end was "Good manga doesn't have to be original or meaningful or have personality, it just needs to be written by a talented mangaka!" Barf.

And to fix as much as possible with as few changes as possible: Start by drastically changing Itsuki Aino's philosophy of "manga just needs to be good" and "personality only reduces a manga's potential audience". Keep her goal the same as Sasaki's—making manga everyone can enjoy—but change her beliefs on what makes manga enjoyable to be something different than Sasaki's.

Then change Aino's role in the story so that she's aware of the time plagiarism and actively brought into the creative process of Sasaki's White Knight, so their now distinct personalities and philosophies can play off each other. Have them actually discuss White Knight in a way that both illuminates their differences and hopefully why one manga is better than another.

Finally, change the hundreds of tiny details that contribute to the series's themes, because the big picture is a fairly small part of the problem.

Problem 1: The plagiarism thing

On one hand, if you overlook the fact that Sasaki basically plagiarizes his manga, TPGW has a lot of interesting things to say about the creative process. On the other hand, the series gives you very few reasons to overlook the fact that Sasaki basically plagiarizes his manga.

This is so bad that I wouldn't be surprised if nobody involved in the production of TPGW considered that its premise was kinda plagiarismy before they saw the response to chapter 1. This impression isn't helped by the way that Aino casually absolves Sasaki of wrongdoing after a brief conversation. It's like everyone involved just wanted to get it out of the way.

Sure, Sasaki assumes that the first chapter of White Knight is just something that came to him in a weird dream and not a literal copy of Shonen Jump from the future that he plagiarized. He's not crazy. But Sasaki never really considers whether he should keep drawing White Knight once he sees another copy of Jump manifest when he's wide awake, and doesn't give much focus on the reasons why he feels like he can't stop publishing his copied work.

Sasaki feels guilty about plagiarizing White Knight, which is good. However, it feels like shallow, unimportant angst, diluted by the angst he feels about realizing that he still doesn't have any good ideas of his own. That latter point is especially bad, because it makes it impossible to tell whether future angst about "not being his" comes from the plagiarism thing or the I-don't-deserve-this-praise thing, or even a pride thing.

The thing is, there are good arguments in favor of continuing to publish. Aside from a general feeling of obligation towards his employers (and the first series he's gotten published), there's the fact that Aino publishing her own White Knight idea would be perceived as plagiarizing Sasaki. But this never gets enough focus.

If I had to point to a solution, I'd have Aino believe Sasaki when he explains how he wrote White Knight. This would give her a good reason not to casually absolve him of a crime she has no reason to think he could commit, which in turn gives Sasaki a good chance to defend himself.

But above all, it lets Sasaki make amends to Aino. Something direct, like Sasaki actively offering to make Aino an assistant and promote her to coauthor as soon as he could get away with it. I get that him stopping Aino from working herself to death is supposed to be that, but it's so far removed from his initial plagiarism and meeting Aino and stuff that it feels less like a response to harm he caused her and more like an unrelated side quest he went on because nobody else could.

(Plus, I personally dislike stories built around big deceptions that nobody is allowed to find out about for fear of disrupting the status quo. Screw the status quo!)

Problem 2: Why is White Knight so good?

White Knight is a super basic but super popular manga series, in both the future where Itsuki Aino wrote it and the present where Teppei Sasaki did. It's so good that the editor-in-chief glances at the manuscript (when Sasaki didn't have an appointment with anyone) and immediately decides it should run in Weekly Shonen Jump, and it breaks all sorts of fan response records, and it inspires despairing wannabe-mangaka to give it another go, and editors cry at the storyboards and call it divine, and Sasaki almost literally isn't allowed to not make it a weekly series. But why?

We don't get much detail about White Knight. Each chapter is better than the last. It looks better when Sasaki stops just copying Aino's linework. We have a broad plot synopsis from chapter 1; endless night, ghost that needs to be killed, generic-sounding nice-guy-tragic-backstory hero. There's also a witch, and a teacher who might know who the ghost is, and a "hanged man of space-time ghost". Oh, and it's super good! People never say anything about it except to say how good its x is, and virtually every possible value of x shows up at least once.

Also the baffling implication in chapter 10 that Sasaki's plagiarized White Knight is Aino's ideal manga because it has no personality to speak of. But, um, let's unpack that later.

While we get a little more information about why Sasaki's original series are bad, but he talks at length about how his version of White Knight is worse than Aino's. Why? The art wasn't good enough?

Normally, this wouldn't matter. When reading Phantom of the Opera, we don't need to understand why Christine and Erik are such good singers; we can just accept that they're talented and had good teachers and move on. It's only a problem if they're played by a talented but inexperienced actress and a disharmonic actor.

But if the play started with Christine failing to land a job at the opera, then she started singing a different song and was immediately made prima donna, and also she spent a lot of page time discussing or pondering what makes a singer good, that would be a different story. Understanding why Christine's performance improved would be important to the plot, and absolutely critical to the themes.

All we're left with is Sasaki's stated belief that manga doesn't have to be original or something unique to the author's vision or anything like that; to be good, manga just has to be good. So I guess manga has an inherent goodness, something that makes them good, and if they don't have that they don't have it.

This is supported by how other characters talk about manga. The manga (plural) that Sasaki submits in chapter 1 mostly receive very vague, shallow criticisms. "Pedestrian premise. Flat characters. Boring. It's not like any one part of it is especially bad. The problem is that nothing about it is good." "This story is completely empty. There's nothing in it at all." The second manga gets a bit more detail, in that Sasaki took the "flat characters" thing to heart and tried to make them quirky, only to fall into new stereotypes.

This feels like it's setting up Sasaki as a competent but cripplingly ordinary mangaka. His manga is just written to appeal to a lot of people, without considering who "a lot of people" is, or what they might find appealing. And to contrast his boring failures, we have White Knight...which is also ordinary, but good instead of bad?

(I can't find a great place to slip this in, but: Sasaki makes a point out of the fact that, for all its popularity, his White Knight didn't have the same explosive success as Aino's. The only difference between the two that we know of is that one was written by Aino and one was written by Sasaki.)

White Knight didn't need to be explained in detail. We don't need half of the manga to just be White Knight panels and synopses. But if you're going to have a manga about a mangaka who ruminates on the creative process, who keeps failing with his own premises but succeeds when the inciting incident gives him a new start, the difference between the success and the failures is kind of important! We should have been given some idea why White Knight succeeded where everything else failed, why it was "good".

The only hints we're given are something about the art and Itsuki Aino just being a good mangaka. Characters praise every aspect of White Knight, not just the art, so I assume the manga isn't focusing on Sasaki's art because that's the only thing that matters for making good manga.

But what is? Why is Aino's manga so much better than Sasaki's? This is an important question that should be answered, as important as asking why Goku can beat up Frieza, because manga is as important to TPGW as martial arts is to Dragon Ball.

The answer should be clear in some difference between Aino and Sasaki. But there isn't one. They are the same, to the point that Aino thinks it's plausible that Sasaki would come up with the exact same idea. They have the same philosophy on creating manga (I'll get to it), the same goals, the same obsessive drive to perfection.

What differences are there? Aino works slightly harder, in that she works herself to death in her 20's while Sasaki only works himself to illness and fainting. Aino is more optimistic, but it seems like Sasaki was the same at age 17 and just had his optimism crushed by several years of failure. Which brings us to the one real difference between the two of them: Aino writes good manga.

I'll get back to that point after I wrap up this section.

The easiest way to solve this would be to have characters talk about White Knight, other than when they're praising it. Also to have Aino not just be the schoolgirl prodigy version of Sasaki, having two points of view is important.

Maybe Sasaki and Aino discuss White Knight when she becomes his assistant. They could disagree on why it's a good story, which would mean explaining the reasons each of them thinks it's a good story.

Having Aino help Sasaki with White Knight long-term, or at least having her do more than basic assistant work, would do a lot for the story. It would make White Knight less plagiarismy, since Sasaki is presumably getting credit. It would give Sasaki an insight into why the world and plot of White Knight work the way they do, which he'd find useful and which would characterize both the manga and the mangaka (plural). And it gives the two principal characters reasons to constantly discuss the most important object in the story with one another, especially the aspects most relevant to the series's core themes.

Problem 3: The whole Itsuki Aino dying thing

I don't think the idea of future!Aino dying is, in and of itself, a problem. I can see a version of TPGW which gets more than 14 chapters going through all potential stages of a mangaka's career through Sasaki, future!Aino, and present!Aino once she starts her own series. In the process, it would develop the characters of Sasaki and present!Aino, and maybe even future!Aino through an interview or something published in the magazine.

If that series climaxed with future!Aino karoshi'ing herself, it could be a sensible and powerful climax—especially if the supernatural aspects of its resolution were introduced over time and not rushed into existence because the manga was about to be canceled. Eight chapters would be a decent length for that kind of thing—if anything, a little quick.

But that's not the TPGW we have. In our TPGW, the eight chapters focused on future!Aino's death and preventing present!Aino's are 57% of the series. Everything else is little more than setup to the karoshi arc, yet very little has been done to establish its conflict. Why does future!Aino overwork herself? Well, present!Aino is clearly passionate about her work. Why would Sasaki making a series that's better than hers make Aino not overwork herself? I don't think this question ever gets answered, even though Sasaki asks it himself.

In the end, the time robot does something we had barely any idea it might be able to do, Sasaki spends decades making the perfect manga, and Aino just kinda gives up when she sees that Sasaki made that perfect manga. I'd have thought seeing a better manga than what she could draw would energize her, make her strive to surpass that limit.

You know, like how Goku has this drive to surpass anyone he sees that's stronger than him. Imagine if Goku saw how strong Beerus was and just gave up martial arts on the spot. Wouldn't that suck? It would feel out of character for someone who had been driven by a love of martial arts for the entire series, to the point of risking his own life for a good fight.

But no, Aino just likes drawing for fun, and she didn't realize it until Sasaki showed her how much better he could write manga. My first instinct is to call this sexist, but upon further consideration, there are many other ways to interpret this plot point. They're all bad, but they exist.

There are two solutions. First, you could make a much longer series which establishes all the time magic and character details that would make this turn of events make sense. Second, if your story gets canceled halfway through act 1, don't tack on the second half of act 3 if it relies on details that were supposed to come up in act 2.

Problem 4: What are you saying?

This is a manga about manga. It's one of the few manga that I'd say is more about manga than Bakuman is, mostly by virtue of not having distractingly blunt opinions about women. TPGW is pretty focused on manga. In fourteen chapters of manga about mangaka writing manga, sci-fi twist or no, there should be something about manga said, right?

A lot of people say manga needs to just appeal to people, and the people who disagree aren't given much consideration. Sasaki's editor talks about how manga characters "live off of paper and ink...and they breathe within our hearts!!", and Sasaki says he would have enthusiastically agreed if it wasn't for his "but it's not really mine" funk.

The biggest thing is probably Sasaki and Aino's feelings towards the idea of "something only you can draw". Neither Sasaki not Aino thinks there's anything only they can draw, or that manga needs a "message"; they both just want to make manga that people like—one that the whole world can enjoy. Not just people on every continent, every person in the world.

Considering that one of the characters who espouses this thesis is the protagonist, the thesis is supported by White Knight very obviously being something at least two people can draw, plenty of side characters support this thesis, it never receives any pushback that the narrative considers meaningful, and the other character espousing it wrote an almost supernaturally good manga series, it's probably safe to say that the narrative treats this sentiment as true. That the purpose of manga isn't to be unique or original or interesting, but to be enjoyable. To make people happy.

This ties back into what I said about White Knight being generically "good". Manga that have a lot of good things in them are good, because they make people happy. Why things in manga make people happy, or how they do, or why things might appeal to one person but not another, or even whether things that people find appealing could change between 2020 and 2030? Unimportant.

I don't want to try and divine the opinions of author Kenji Ichima from this, nor about illustrator Tsunehiro Date or the series editor (who is not named on Wikipedia), nor even about Jump's upper management. The world of corporate art is such that stories can, in principle, say things that every single person creating them disagrees with; the people making them are beholden to the bottom line, to shareholder opinions, not to artistic merit.

So when I say that TPGW has really shitty opinions about manga, that's not meant to reflect on any particular human involved in writing it.

Let's start by pointing out that "manga is supposed to make people happy" is just a fat nothingburger of an opinion and move on to all the other things that get dismissed to support that thesis.

Like, the idea that a series doesn't need to do anything new to be good. This is ridiculous! The rhetorical composite author of TPGW might have had manga like Dragon Ball in mind when saying that, but DB is only so generic because so many other series copied all the new things it did. A generic Shonen Jump series that doesn't do anything new won't look like Dragon Ball, it'll look like Neru: Way of the Martial Artist or Dororo Dororon.

The idea that manga (or art in general) should have a message is a bit less concrete, but personally, I'd argue less that a series must have a message to be good and more that any story is gonna have a message, which can affect series quality the same way that its plot, characters, or art can. But to TPGW, this message isn't even on the same level of unimportance as plot or characters, it's something to be actively dismissed.

All that a manga needs to be is "good". What does it mean to be good? It needs to make people happy, by being good. How do you make a good manga? Judging by the lack of difference between Sasaki and Aino...you need to be a good mangaka. That's it.

Sasaki and Aino do the exact same thing. They both work stupid hard on their manga, with the exact same methods and motive—the same disregard for anything except creating a "good" manga that makes people happy. Even their flaws are the same, most notably the way they rip any work they don't consider good enough to shreds. (Not that I'm confident TPGW thinks this is a flaw...)

One of them uses this method to succeed, one of them is trapped in a loop of failure until he gets a time machine. That's it.

Sasaki is a bad mangaka. Aino is a good mangaka. Aino is a good mangaka because the manga she writes is good, and the reason her manga is good is that it was written by a good mangaka.

This is even directly supported by the text. The time robot attributes Aino's success and doom as coming from being "born with too much talent". (And also her drive, but Sasaki has repeatedly failed to match Aino even when he's given exceptionally strong motivation.)

There are some side issues I have, too.

Chapters 4-5 are almost about how the perfect is the enemy of the good, how hitting deadlines is important and worth making small compromises for. Then the chief assistant finds a compromise, and then Sasaki rips up the compromise because it's still not good enough (wait, didn't they digitally combine the backgrounds and character art?), and then he gets one more chance to redraw everything and makes it better than before so there are no consequences.

The main characters make a big deal about how it's dumb to ask mangaka to make something only they can draw, and this is supported by the fact that White Knight is ultra-popular despite being something at least two people could draw. Yet Sasaki sees a big jump in his White Knight's quality when he stops trying to copy Aino's art, when he makes White Knight his own and draws it in a way only he can. This contradiction isn't really addressed.

A reasonably coherent position is argued in chapter 10. A writer's "personality" leaking in can make it appealing to some people, but can also "make it feel too eccentric". The more personality, the more people who will be turned off by this eccentricity. But the thought terminates there! Thus, personality makes a manga into a niche series, and a lack of personality gives something the potential to be a hit with everyone. The idea that "goodness" or "entertaining-ness" are somehow tied to personality, that a manga truly without personality won't be enjoyed by anyone, never comes up. Conclusion: Aino needs to suppress her personality to make her dream manga.

All of this aside, the core conception of "good manga," or "good storytelling" in general, is a bigger problem. Whatever the flesh authors of TPGW were trying to say, the story they made says that good manga is just good, it's pointless to try and figure out why, all the things people say about how to write good manga are bogus, and talent is all that matters. Bull fucking shit.

The manga doesn't fully commit to the bullshit. The idea of "manga anyone can enjoy," so important to almost every mangaka in the series, is questioned out of nowhere three pages from the end of the series. And the whole climax of the story is about Sasaki the deeply untalented mangaka making a better manga than uber-prodigy Aino. All he needed was (checks notes) roughly 8.7 years of stopped time to finish and polish the last ~150 chapters of White Knight, something like three times as much time per chapter as Aino needed. Plus the first quarter of the series written by the uber-prodigy. So with the tables tilted via supernatural interference, untalented mangaka can surpass talented ones!

But yeah, TPGW is pretty committed to its bullshit.

I could go on about how empty TPGW feels, but at this point I'm just gonna like a Replay Value video on the subject and try to wrap this up.

Right, solutions. Um...start by having Sasaki and present!Aino not have the exact same opinions about what makes manga good. Find some way to imply that both are wrong, and that future!Aino only made her future White Knight so good because her opinions were more nuanced and accurate than either of them. Beyond that...this is the kind of problem that comes from details, not plot points.

Conclusion

Kinda covered it in the TL;DR. Also: I kinda want to write TPGW fanfic now. The kind of fanfiction only I would write.

#manga #time paradox ghostwriter #shonen jump #meta

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honeyalchemist · 3 years

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Thats probably something people ask all the time, but how necessary would you say it is to actually start a legit note taking grimoire before you start getting into witchcraft? I have been on and off on witchcraft since my teens basically and honestly it doesn't really ever feel like I am actually... Practicing....anything whenever I do it and I actually thought that "Hey maybe writing would help" , but at the same time imagining myself sitting down and writing it down like a schoolbook also already feels....not quite right for reasons I can't explain (I guess it's partly because my thoughts are always very disjointed and note taking basically devolved into writing things over and over again until I didn't need the notes anymore in school so....yeah)

Also if you have any advice on how to approach all of this withouth already feeling like you are not gonna accomplish anything.....would be great, yeah. I am sorry this got so negative at the end but I genuinly feel like I myself am just fooling myself with all of this, not because it's not real but because the problem is me and.... Yeah not a great vibe.

Hello sweets! First, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to ask me of all people about this!!!

This is question I really have to take the time to answer because different things work for different people.

Some people will say you need to accomplish years of studying like school before you cast your first spell. I'm not in that party but I do see merit in that belief. Witchcraft can be VERY dangerous, so it's important to get all of the basics down and mastered before you really delve into it.

Personally I believe you can only master your craft by actually practicing it. It may seem boring, but early on in your craft you should be repeating the same basic skills until you have them near perfect. But I don't think you should ONLY be practicing basics. Sometimes there isn't a need for the basics to be practiced constantly. But they're the basics for a reason. You should be able to slowly branch out from the basics as you get more comfortable in your craft and your abilities.

I do think it is important to RECORD your practice in any way you are comfortable with. If it's writing, more power to you. But you can also video record, audio record, and even collage (with appropriate notations). But I believe witchcraft is closer to science than people assume, so I find it important to be able to repeat your spells/rituals/etc. with necessary modifications to achieve your desired results. You cannot grow in your craft without changing what doesn't work, and even what works but is too costly (be it time, materials, or even energy).

Now onto the topic of study itself. It takes a lot of time and trials to find out what study method truly works for you. It sucks but think back to your schooling days, and ponder what kind of learning method best suits you. Are you better at learning by sitting and reading through sources, and writing information down? Then do exactly that. Are you better at learning through visual shows and being orally walked through the steps? Head on down to YouTube and find some witchy YouTubers to learn from.

Once you've got that down, consider how you best retain that information. Is it better for you to sit down and copy lines? Is it better to actively practice what you learn? Is it better to "teach" others? You can record yourself "teaching others" to help you better retain and recall the information you've learned.

If you really feel you must write down the information you've learned, then I don't really recommend just writing down pages and pages of lines of notes. There's a variety of methods that could make the information more digestible and even fun to interact with and refresh if necessary.

One of the reasons you see so many grimoires filled with pictures and diagrams and interactive parts is that it makes relearning and refreshing that information more fun, do you're more likely to do just that. Use diagrams and pictures to help fill your pages and make the information stick a little better. You could even reduce your words even more by creating a picture heavy grimoire with just necessary words to help understand a little easier. Think of this. You have a Potion you want to make. Draw or print out pictures of the ingredients and insert them in your grimoire, with labels to identify what is harder to identify. If there's a specific order in which these items must be added, or a set of steps for a ritual that must be followed while making the Potion, draw or print out pictures of these steps and insert them in the correct order and perhaps draw arrows indicating order, or even write down the numbered order of steps.

If that's not really your style, then consider mind mapping. There's a variety of mind mapping methods you can use, but for me I typically write a word or phrase indicating the main topic of something I'm studying and put that in the middle of my page and circle it. From that circle, branch out into smaller circles with topics directly related to the initial phrase. And from those smaller circles, branch out even smaller to flesh out the idea of the initial phrase further. Here's a cute visual to explain a little better:

Witchcraft is a lot of trial and error. Try and try again to find out what method works best for you. It may seem like you are accomplishing nothing in this time where you are trying to find your suited method, but keep in mind each failure is a step closer to finding what works best for you.

I really hope this helped!!! If anybody has some further input, please share 💖

#personal #witch #magic #witchcraft #grimoire #witch research #ask #witchy ask #note taking

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permets-2 · 4 years

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Your tag that says why do we have to say this, I get it's a hypothetical question but JFC this is the most racist fandom I've ever been in. I can't conceptualize why, but it is. It's the epitome of white queerness and feminism, and is just tiring.

Okay I’m so sorry this is probably a longer response than you wanted but I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and yeah. Let’s talk.

Why is the Les Mis fandom so racist?

(Disclaimer that this is based on my own experiences in this fandom, I don’t speak for all Les Mis fans of color, obviously. Also that this is not a post to “prove” the Les Mis fandom is racist. If you need that before you wanna know why, you’re part of the problem.) (There’s a tl;dr at the end)

It’s because at the end of the day, anon, no matter how many Black Grantaires are drawn and no matter how many Asian Cosettes we get, Les Mis is media primarily by, for, and about white people. I mean, on a factual level, Hugo was white, and let’s not forget he had some wild thoughts on race - saying that white people were “the highest type which the human race has so far reached” and talking about the “inferior races,” saying that Europeans would “civilize and cultivate” Africa in the letter he wrote to The London News regarding slavery in America and John Brown. Also, obviously, all the characters are canonically white. That’s part of why content of the Amis as involved in BLM protests is so harmful imo - no matter the surface story you’re depicting, no matter how you draw them or write them, these are characters who are rooted in and steeped in whiteness, and The Black Lives Matter movement is not for or about them as white people. And, however you rewrite this story, it doesn't change the fact that you'd be imposing a narrative created by a white supremacist on a movement against white supremacy. This is not to say headcanoning/drawing/writing characters as whatever race you want is wrong, or that there isn’t power in artists of color reclaiming stories that have excluded or erased us for so many years! Lord knows I live and breathe for Amis of color, especially when they’re culturally well-represented. But it would not only be naive but also factually inaccurate to pretend that Les Mis is a story for People of Color, or a story that contains acute discussions of racial dynamics, let alone actively dismantles white supremacy.

Also, anon, the culture surrounding Les Mis source material is steeped in whiteness and exclusion. Musical Theatre is one of the most financially exclusive forms of art - tickets are often upwards of $100 each especially for a big name show like Les Mis. I could talk forever about the ways theatre is used as a tool of classism and racism, but in this instance, it boils down to People of Color are directly and indirectly denied access to the world of musical theatre, as audience, writers, directors, performers, etc. We basically see only white people playing the characters of Les Mis in professional (and non-professional) theatre, which is another less tangible barrier to communities of color. You’d think the brick would be more accessible, and on a factual level, sure, most people can find a copy for $9 at Barnes and Noble or get it from the library. But by God, the amount of academic elitism in high school essays to tumblr posts about the brick is off the charts - classic lit has a long history of pushing out People of Color. Why is Hugo one of the most well-known names in all of literature and not Hurston? Baldwin? Du Bois? (This is rhetorical. We know why.) There’s a lot of reasons why the brick and musical alike have been kept away from people of color (that i could get into, starting in 1619, but honestly we’d be here a while)- making this, once again, a piece of media by, for, and about white people.

Which is not to say there aren’t people of color in this fandom, or that we don’t belong here. I know so many Les Mis fans of color in our online community (myself included) who love it here and are so grateful for this space. It’s just harder - we have to write things off all the time. Why is almost 100% of cosplay white people? Why are most all the most popular creators white? Why, when characters are drawn/headcanoned/written as POC, does it play into stereotypes- why are Joly and Combeferre (the doctors) and Cosette (the woman who does not get much agency) the ones depicted as Asian, why are Eponine and Grantaire (the characters who Hugo explicitly calls ugly) the ones depicted as Black? (My broski @everydayatleast as a great post about that here) Why are we so set on blond Enjolras, no matter what ethnicity he’s depicted as?

And here’s the kicker: because of the plotline of Les Mis, we tend to ignore any issues of injustice in our own fandom. We think that because Les Mis is about equality and revolution, we’re automatically culturally and politically progressive. We think that because “Enjolras says Eat The Rich” and “books like these will never be useless”, we have achieved Wokeness. We think that when we stan these activist characters, we’re checking our activism box. We think that because we’ve got a diversity of genders and sexualities we’ve checked the box of representation but that’s another can of worms I will not get into. And this is almost always unconscious, I don’t think any of us are actively and maliciously trying to be racist! There is nothing wrong with having a background of whiteness! There is nothing wrong with being factually or culturally white as a piece of media (or, like, a person)! It is when we fail to be critical of the ways this whiteness affects others that we create racist spaces. (Which, as you said, anon, is how we get White/Non-intersectional Feminism.)

This is not directed at anyone in particular in the slightest, and this is in no way intended as a callout - I have so much love for this online community. And no, I don’t mean every single one of you is actively and aggressively being racist on Tumblr every single day. But yes I do mean the collective us as a fandom contributes towards a culture of racism every day, myself included. We as a fandom can do so much better. As Moose said when we yelled about LM racism for a hawt couple hours today, “In a fandom that purports to be about equality and social justice, we have to live up to our own ideals”.

(tl;dr - the Les Mis fandom is racist because it is a piece of white culture and writen by/for/about white people, Broadway and classic lit is rooted in exclusionism and there’s a lot of forces keeping people of color out of our original source materials, and because of the narrative of Les Mis being about revolution and social progress, we feel like we’ve achieved that and aren’t critical of our own shortcomings)

(phat thanks to my bro moose @everydayatleast for editing and contributing and Yelling with me!!)

#Les miserables #les mis #les amis #fandom racism #sollie speaks #if you feel hurt offended ashamed bitter guilty targeted while reading this post #maybe its time to do some thinkin #Things i did not include in this bc i have self control: the complexities of Black Javert and White Valjean #White Enjolras with a raised fist (aka BLACK POWER FIST?)#how i see almost no art of latinx/hispanic amis and even less indigenous amis #i think once i saw a middle eastern feuilly #how i looked through the faculty of prestigious univerisity classics departments and found 2 people of color out of hundreds of total facult #white people dont clown on this post challenge #other people of color would Love to hear your thoughts on this #seriously lets chat #would also love if yall (poc) have thoughts for you to message me instead of publically vibe checking me #plz im doing my best here #A series of disclaimers #first op is a person of color if that wasnt clear #listen to black creators and black voices especially for issues around BLM #second i have not read all of hugos letters #but i read this one on slavery a while back for apush and it stuck with me #hugo was racist #and im not saying like hes cancelled or some shit #because fuck cancel culture #just please can we be CRITICAL here #third PLEASE dont come for me about saying cosette has no agency #this is not what this is about #you are missing the point #fourth seriously this is not a callout

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ask-spider-man-61610 · 3 years

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Since I've been asking people about web-shooters while I was building myself a new pair, I figured I'd share my usual design. Just, you know, scribbled on a scrap of paper because I can't really use my pirated copy of AutoCAD right now. The actual schematics don't look like shit.

No matter what Gwen tells you.

Alright, so. The, like, big main thing about my web-shooters is that they're never, ever battery powered. One of my main and most routine enemies is an electrokinetic who can suck the electricity out of every machine around him. So I don't use solenoid valves, I don't use pressure-sensitive electrodes, and I don't use motorized turbines. Everything about the main machines are analog. Most of the mechanisms get their energy from a mainspring with a self-winding pendulum.

You'll notice the intake valves on either side of the shooter in my scribble up there. Those allow air into the expansion chamber, which means that most of my web-fluid's curing process takes place before it even leaves the nozzle. While, yes, the web-fluid cartridges are pressurized, most of the force that shoots the weblines come from expansion; the fraction of a milliliter that leaves the cartridge when I push the button expands to a little under a hundred fifty times its volume, fast enough that I think it's technically an explosion. The turbine and laminar flow nozzle direct the fibers as they form, and by the time it leaves the shooter the webbing's hardened into a semisolid.

Most of which the vast majority of you already know. This is more or less the basic design of all web-shooters. But I'll point out a few more features that are uniquely mine.

A lot of Spiders are experimenting with the idea of automatic reloading once a cartridge runs dry. That's obviously not in the cards for me, given my whole analog-only thing, but what I can do is make the web-shooters eject empty cartridges automatically. See those things on the bottom of the drawing? Rubber-padded spring steel. When the cartridge has anything left inside of it it's constantly exerting a bit of pressure, which drives those to pinch it in place. Once the cartridge is empty, the pressure's gone and those snap outwards, kicking the cartridge out of the machine. From there it's just a matter of running my wrist up my side to feed a new cartridge in.

The rails on each side and the recessed bit between them? That's for attaching modules. Because these are never vital to the primary function of the shooters, I can make these battery-powered; if Electro drains them dry I'm not up Shit Creek. The most typical module I attach to my web-shooters is a simple gauge, something that tells me when I'm running low on webbing and will need to reload soon. But other modules I've built for these things include a reel to pull weblines back in, a launcher for spider-tracers, and a laser sight.

The biggest problem I have with web-shooters nowadays is durability. Don't get me wrong, they're shock absorbent--but there's not a lot you can do when your delicate machinery gets punched by a guy who can lift a locomotive. Vibranium alloys are too expensive to even consider. Even getting components milled out of brass and steel and Teflon is a massive financial drain. I at least had the foresight to have the nozzles milled in bulk, so I've got a little baggie full of them, but with Emjay and I on the run like we are I've gotta pull parts out of, like, wristwatches. Lighters. Super Soakers, which is just embarrassing. These fakakta web-shooters I'm strapping onto my wrists at the moment are little more than heaps of plastic that squirt webbing in vaguely the right direction.

#spider-man #specs #peter parker #spidersona #earth-61610 #spider-man au #web shooters

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keylimeimagines · 3 years

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Alright, thank you so much for the answer!

Now then, I would very much like to ask for a matchup for P5! ( Romantic ofc, I'm leaving it up to you if you'd also like to add platonic, considering romance is your main focus!!)

So I go by She/Her and They/Them, I honestly don't care about which pronouns are used.

I'm an ENFP - 9w1, Gemini Sun, Pisces Moon, Capricorn Rising!

I'm a demisexual, no preference for any gender really! They just gotta be nice yknow yknow

I would consider my love language to be.. quality time I think? Either that or giving gifts to others! On the other hand, I'm not too comfortable with physical affection,, dunno it's just rather awkward!! I do like myself some words of affirmation though,, that's some good shit I swear

Now, personality!!

It kinda depends on who I'm with- so starting with strangers and acquaintances:

I don't really go out all that often (or well.. at all) so I'm pretty awkward around strangers or well- in person in general. I'm usually pretty quiet around them and speak up when I'm spoken to really. I'm as I said super awkward so it's a bit exhausting to talk because I dunno I may be an extrovert but not knowing what to do and say is a bitch I tell you--

As for people that I'm comfortable around/online, I very much let all of that awkwardness go and throw it into the fucking trash HSJDB

I get really really excited and loud and also really chaotic! I like to joke around a lot and like to also sorta make fun of them if they are comfy with it- I am a bit stupid though so because I don't take cues very well so if it looks like they're joking to me when expressing discomfort then oops I'm proooobably not gonna be understanding it,,,

Ok seriously tho I have really high guilt so I like feel guilty for basically every shit imaginable. So, well, I tend to blame things on myself even if I didn't directly cause anything.

But yeah-

That was about it for SPECIFIC traits, here are some general traits!

Generally, I'd consider myself kind! I care for others needs more than mine and tend to forget about myself a lot- but hey! Others say that I'm easy to talk to!

I generally have a problem with taking things seriously! I dunno I just?? Can't get into the mindset of being serious when I need to be? Like I can't relate man- I just feel that a little joke will lighten stuff up y'know!!

Another problem is that I maaaaay bottle up my emotions a lot and then tell people not to do that like a dumbass lmao

Aaand I also am a lousy multitasker- Like I cannot concentrate on more than one thing- especially auditory things! So if I'm doing something it's gonna take like 10 tries to get my attention by just talking- honestly just come up to me and tap me on the shoulder a bunch of times

And lastly, I'm very impulsive! Like impulse spending included- if I think something is funny I'm doing/buying it. No questions asked.

Alright, onto my Hobbies!

I love to draw! I have been doing so for about 10 years now, and I'm not thinking of stopping anytime soon! 5 y/o me made the right choice to copy my sister with doing art as well >:)

I also love to play video games hehe- I prefer singleplayer, but I can do multi if I play with friends! Especially for stuff like Identity V- I'm not going in without at least one other person! That being said, my fav genres atm would probably be RPGs, Indies and horror! Horror doesn't give me the scares at all but it's amusing nonetheless!

I also really really love listening to music! I cannot go without it since I don't like it when theres a lot of people talking (either in general or to me)- my fav genre will always be Jazz or honestly Breakcore ATM!! It does the scritch scratchy on my brain well...

Oh and I also roleplay a lot I GUESS- I just have so many characters what would I ever do with them!!

I would say that I'm a fairly decent writer, I can definitely write a good few at most 10k character long response-

Uhm uhm other interests that aren't art, writing and music uhh

I find astrology very interesting!! It's just something I've been wanting to get into for sooo long but I never have time auuugh

I also am super super interested in psychology- it's so cool to research stuff and learn new things about the mindset of some people!

Thats- that's all I guess

As for habits!

- I tend to like bounce my leg up n down! And also move around a lot

- A big habit of mine is to ramble on with something and like explain shit really difficultly?? like like yknow uhhh I will talk about something but when I have to explain something it will not be a simple thing like- At fucking all.

- Im pretty sure being Impulsive is a habit? I already explained but- if I want to do something (preferably something that sounds funny) then I'm DOING IT. No questions asked. I will just go "Heheheh what if I do this" and most of the time everyone goes "DONT DO IT NO" and then I already have done it :>

- I like to bite at my nails, but I'm working on this one right now!! A, after I stop biting again that is- maybe I should get some nail polish again..

Uhhh I think that should be all? I'm super sorry if this is so long! English isn't my first language btw, so if there are some grammatical errors and such I apologize for those!

Anyway, please do take as much time as you need on this!! Oh oh, and do remember to stay hydrated n all!! ✨

The one I choose for you is....

Yusuke Kitagawa [ISFP]!!

He would love to spend time with you (quality time is also one of his love languages <33 whether it's just you with him while he's painting OR you're the one he's painting; he doesn't have a preference really (but painting you causes him to get this fluttering feeling since he's capturing you essence as he says)

He paints things for you and gives them to you as gifts! Along with other types of things he'd think you'd want <33

He also gets pretty awkward with physical affection, but he loves to complement you! he's very elegant and philosophical with the way he complements you tho

he doesn't really like to go out for dates often, so just staying inside and doing something is much for fun for him (and of course, painting dates are a thing)

He tries to remind you to take care of yourself as well! He does appreciate your kindness, but he also wants you to be happy as well!! we love a self-care king!!

when you have a problem with taking things seriously, he exactly the opposite - he takes almost everything seriously - but you too complete each other <33

ALSO since you bottle up your emotions and feelings (like he kind of does as well in a way), he'll always offer his shoulder if you need to let it out! he's a very good listener if you need it :))

he's very calm and collected, but despite how much he thinks Ryuji is annoying, he does appreciate your 'chaoticness' a bit

he'll try to help you calm your impulsivity, and your impulsive buying too! he's very understanding, so he won't criticize you for your habit, but try to help you overcome it!

he LOVES the fact that you also like art! albeit it's different forms of it (at least i think he only does painting? im not sure). like i said earlier, you two definitely have art dates <33

one of my headcanons for Yusuke would be that he cannot focus correctly if there isn't some form of music to sooth his mind. Bc of this, he always plays stuff like lofi or jazz, really just anything to help him focus on something (whether it be school work of painting)

he kind of wishes that he was talented in writing, even though he is actually pretty good

astrology isn't something that he's majorly interested in, but he would love to hear some facts and trivia you want to share! same goes for your interest in psychology (off topic but i also love psychology and all that sort <33 )

with your general impulsivity and when you wanna do something risky or something that may be considered dangerous, he just calmly tells you "no, you probably shouldn't do that" and just leaves it like that

artist bf is pretty cool ngl!! im jealous >:(

#yusuke kitagawa #kitagawa yusuke #persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #yusuke kitagawa x reader #x reader #f/o imagines #headcanons #vee's headcanons #vee's imagines #f/o #🖤steal your heart🖤 (matchup series)

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