#That moment when you say you won't eat any food other than your cooks just for the yolo | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

punkshort · 9 months ago

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i know who you are | 2. the journal

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Your memories still remain out of reach, so you ask Joel to tell you a bit about yourself, and with the help of a journal you kept, you begin to learn more about the person you became in the past ten years, leaving you with more questions than answers.

Chapter Warnings: language, eating, alcohol use, angst, pining, sad!Joel, amnesia

WC: 6.3K

Series Masterlist

"Did'ya get any sleep?"

You glanced up at Joel as you walked side by side towards the dining hall.

"No," you admitted, looking straight ahead again.

After Joel left you in his - your - bedroom, instructing you to rest on his way out, you found you could do anything but. Your mind was spinning with all of the information you had just learned, and you weren't sure which topic consumed you more: the end of the world or the supposed love of your life.

The longer his words set in, the more you were finding it difficult to look at him. It was such a strange feeling, having this large, burly, gruff man proclaim his love for you, to say he would stop at nothing to make you feel the same way, to insist you were meant for each other. It seemed so out of character, though you hardly felt like you knew him. But even now as you walked down the street, you noticed how some of the people in town glanced at him. Moving quickly out of his way.

It wasn't just you who found him intimidating.

You were distracted as you walked, curiously peering into storefronts and repurposed buildings when a group of children playing a game of tag nearly ran into you. At the last moment, Joel tugged your arm, pulling you into his side just in time. The children seemed to realize their mistake because their laughter quickly stopped and the smiles fell from their faces as they looked up at him.

"We're sorry, Mr. Miller," a young boy no more than eight years old said.

Miller. You never even bothered to ask his last name.

Joel just grunted and they scurried away, no doubt eager to escape his glare. You chanced a look at him, studying his stern expression when you realized he was still holding you against him. He was warm. Warmer than you expected. And solid. You cleared your throat and stepped away from his grasp, muttering your thanks and glancing around the busy street to avoid the disappointed look in his eye when it became clear you weren't comfortable with him touching you.

You shoved your hands in the pockets of your jeans and continued to walk in silence down the main road. A few people shot you curious looks or did double takes as they walked by, and you had to assume if Ellie heard the news about your accident, then others had, as well.

The Tipsy Bison came into view at the corner of the street, made obvious by the large crowds of people gathered outside.

"Does everyone have to eat here or are you allowed to have food in your homes?" you asked him, and he looked down at you, surprised by the question.

"We got food. It's not like a prison or somethin'," he said with a chuckle. "Most folks like to come here to socialize, but sometimes we cook dinner at home," he stopped short when he realized he never asked you what you preferred. "Did'ya wanna stay home instead?"

"No, this is fine," you told him over your shoulder.

"You sure? Maybe it's too much right now," he replied, jogging a bit to keep up.

"I'm sure. You won't leave me, right?" you asked, looking at him nervously.

"'Course not," he said, trying to hide his grin. He liked that you wanted him around, even if it was only because you didn't know anybody else. It was a start.

When Joel swung the door open, holding it wide so you could enter first, it might have been your imagination but you thought the loud chatter simultaneously died down for a split second. Then Joel stepped in beside you and the volume rose once again.

You wanted to look around and take in the rustic atmosphere but you could feel the eyes on you as Joel led you through the crowd, the scrutiny making you feel extremely out of place, so you kept your gaze pinned straight ahead. Following dutifully behind, you watched as people automatically moved out of his way, like he was Moses parting the Red Sea, until he reached a table in a somewhat quiet corner of the dining hall. He pulled out a chair and stood behind it, his hand still resting on the back, and it took you a second to realize he was waiting for you to sit so he could push it in. You quietly thanked him then finally looked around the room.

The dining room had tables scattered around, and as far as you could see, they all appeared to be taken. People were standing in groups, drinking and laughing and eating and you wondered how in the world your table wasn't taken. You were about to turn and ask when an older man approached your table.

"Hey guys," he said, pulling out a pad of paper from his pocket. "What'll it be?"

You went wide eyed for a moment, looking around trying to figure out what your choices were when, much to your relief, Joel spoke for you both.

"Still got any of that stew left?"

"Sure do. Few guys got lucky earlier today, too. Got two deer, so we'll be havin' more soon," he replied, jotting something down on his paper. "Two whiskies?"

Joel was about to nod when you spoke up for the first time.

"Just water for me, thanks," you said, and the man nodded his head.

"Thanks, Seth," Joel said as he walked away.

You glanced at Joel quickly, awkwardly catching his eye. It felt too much like a date. Dropping your gaze to the table, you tried to think of something to say.

"Probably a good idea, skippin' alcohol," he said. "Didn't even think about it, what with your head and all."

"Yeah," you said, your hand coming up to gently touch the stitches. "Besides, I don't like whiskey, anyway," you added. Joel laughed softly as he watched you shift nervously in your chair.

"What?" you asked with a frown.

"Nothin'," he replied, still staring at you in disbelief. "Just ever since you got here you've been tossin' back whiskey better than most of the men. You must've gotten a taste for it at some point."

"There's no way," you said, scrunching your nose when Seth put down Joel's glass in front of him. He stared down at it wistfully, swirling the amber liquid in the glass, lost in thought.

"Whiskey's how we first met," he said softly, still staring at the glass. You tilted your head towards him, waiting for him to continue. "When you first arrived, you were like a caged animal. You came here lookin' to blow off steam," he said with a distant smile. "It was a slow night. Just you and me and a handful of others. You were tossin' that shit back like it was nothin'."

You watched him as he reminisced. His eyes shone brightly and a small smile played on his lips, it almost felt like you were intruding on something special.

"When me and Ellie first arrived, no one really went outta their way to talk to me. I preferred it that way. Was used to bein' on my own," he continued, looking up at you now. "But that night, you sat down next to me at the bar like you had been waitin' for me or somethin'. You asked me if I was drinkin' for fun or drinkin' to forget. Those were the very first words you said to me."

You were completely silent as he spoke. The way he told it, it felt like you could see the scene playing out right before you, the way he remembered every detail left you in awe.

"What did you say?" you asked a little breathlessly.

The corner of his mouth twitched and he looked down at the table.

"Drinkin' to forget."

You waited for him to elaborate, but when it became apparent he wasn't going to, you asked him another question.

"Then what happened?"

He raised his eyebrows and hummed, a slow smile stretching across his face before he answered.

"You told me you could help me have fun and help me forget," he said, and you could feel the heat instantly flush your cheeks.

"Oh, my god," you murmured, covering your mouth, utterly mortified. "Please tell me you're joking."

He shook his head, still smiling at the memory. You glanced around the room, trying to look anywhere but at him.

"So then, did we...?" you trailed off, gaze still fixed on a spot on the wall.

"Oh, yeah. 'Course we did. I'm no saint," he chuckled.

"Jesus Christ," you said, burying your face in your hands. "That doesn't sound like me at all."

"It's not. Well, not anymore. You had an edge to you when you first arrived. Most do. Survivin' out there does that to you," he said, taking his first sip of whiskey.

You sat in silence for another minute, contemplating asking him what he knew about your life before you met him, but ultimately deciding against it. Maybe another time.

"Where's the bathroom?" you asked him, and he pointed down a small hallway near the bar. You thanked him, his eyes trailing after you as you made your way through the crowds, only dropping his gaze once you were no longer in view. It was a strange thing, recounting stories for you like that. At first, the memories made him smile, but once he saw the lost look on your face he felt the sadness creep back up, settling deep in his chest, and he wondered if he would ever get you back.

You knew you were in the bathroom too long. You knew he would likely be worried, but you just couldn't stop staring at your reflection in the mirror after you washed your hands. Who was this person staring back at you? She looked older and weathered and tired. Your fingertip gently prodded at the bags under your eyes and then a small scar on your chin. What happened to you out there to make you the person Joel was describing? What did you have to do to survive? And did you really want to know the answer?

The door swung open, startling you as three girls around your age entered the bathroom. Their giggles stopped when they saw you and you watched them exchange glances in the mirror before a pretty girl with long, blonde hair greeted you by name. Turning around, you gave her a smile, hoping they would go about their business so you could slip out of there, but of course the pretty girl wanted to talk.

"We heard you had an accident, are you okay?" she asked, and she sounded sincere, but something about her smile made you think twice.

"Yeah, got a few stitches but it should be fine," you said, your eyes flicking to the other two girls, giving them each a smile. They looked at each other and smirked before heading towards the bathroom stalls, leaving you with just the blonde.

"So, is it true? Did you really lose your memory?" she asked, her voice low as if it were a secret, and finally you were able to pick up the vibe. You had been to high school before the outbreak. You had encounters with these types of girls before. Friendly to your face, vicious behind your back.

"Uh, yeah," you admitted, and she gasped as if she felt bad, but you saw the way her eyes lit up.

"So you don't remember, like, anything?"

"Well, I remember before everything went to hell," you told her, "but I don't remember this place, no."

"Oh, wow," she said, and you heard the toilets flush before the other two girls exited the stalls, grinning conspiratorially at the blonde. "So you don't know anybody here?"

You shook your head, feeling uncomfortable with the line of questioning at this point. What was she really getting at?

"That must mean you don't remember Joel, right?" one of the girls at the sink piped up. You looked at her briefly over your shoulder and shook your head, turning back to the blonde but not before you caught the look in her eye.

"Oh, that's too bad," she said, giving you a pout. "Does that mean you aren't together anymore, or-"

Suddenly, the door swung open and Ellie stormed in. Her hard gaze drifted around to the three girls and she gave them a look of disgust.

"Scram, vultures," she told them, and the blonde made a face at her before flipping her hair over her shoulder and heading to one of the stalls. Ellie called your name and you scurried over, allowing her to lead you back out into the dining room but not before she gave the other two girls a few choice words.

"Don't talk to them, they're nasty," she told you as you weaved your way through the crowd. Joel's eyes instantly found you once you were in view and you saw him straighten up in his chair.

"You okay?" he asked, and you could see the genuine concern in his face as you sat down. You were about to answer when Ellie plopped down on the other side of him and spoke first.

"Angie and her little sidekicks cornered her in there," she explained, rolling her eyes. "Already sniffing around for scraps."

"What do you mean?" you asked her, but just then Seth arrived with your meals and you never got an answer.

"Stew again?" Ellie asked, scrunching up her nose.

"It's good," Joel told her before taking a bite. You looked down at the bowl and you were inclined to agree with Ellie, but you swallowed the food down anyway, just grateful for something to eat after such a long day.

"Aren't you going to eat?" you asked her, noticing she hadn't ordered anything and instead was busy sketching in a journal.

"Nah, I'm going to Dina's later, I'll eat there," she explained without looking up.

"Who's Dina?"

"Oh, my girlfriend," Ellie explained, glancing up at you briefly. "Sorry. I still can't get used to this. It's so weird you don't remember."

"Don't be out too late. You got school tomorrow," Joel reminded her. Even though he wasn't Ellie's father, he seemed to have quite the knack for being a dad.

"Yes, sir," she said sarcastically, giving him a weak, two-fingered salute before hunching back over her journal. You heard some familiar giggles coming from somewhere behind you, and when you turned to look, you locked eyes with the blonde girl from the bathroom - Angie - who was holding some drink in her hand, her two friends flanking her sides as she strolled past your table. Her eyes drifted briefly to Joel before she passed by, then turned her attention to her friends, disappearing into the crowd.

"Who is that?" you asked, realizing you never really got much of an explanation. Joel and Ellie responded at the same time.

"Nobody."

"Joel's ex."

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise as Joel glared at Ellie.

"What? She woulda found out eventually," Ellie protested.

"She ain't even an ex," he said, turning to you now. "Just a mistake I made one time before you even got here," he insisted. The tone in his voice made it sound like he was trying to reassure you there was nothing to worry about, but of course, the information didn't phase you.

"Okay," you replied with a shrug. He examined your blank stare for a moment, searching for a glimmer of recognition. The disappointment in his expression every time something like this happened was becoming too much to bear, so you dragged your eyes off him to glance around the crowded room once again. You found Tommy leaning against the bar and you stood up.

"Where are you goin'?"

"I need to ask Tommy something," you said. "I'll be right back."

His eyes followed you as you pushed your way towards the bar, his heart feeling like it was going to break. He wasn't exactly looking for you to have an overly jealous reaction to hearing about another woman from his past, but your casual indifference hurt more than he expected. When you first found out about Angie, you insisted you weren't jealous but the way you sneered at her going forward, combined with giving him the best sex of his life later that night told him a different story.

"You think she'll ever get her memory back?" Ellie asked, still focusing on her drawing. Joel sighed and dragged his hands down his face.

"I don't know, kid."

"What'd you need to talk to Tommy for?" Joel asked once you both arrived back to his - your - home. You had wandered into the kitchen, Joel hot on your trail.

"Oh, I just had a question about something I saw when we were out there today," you explained, and he raised an eyebrow for you to continue. "There were dead bodies when I came to. They looked all decayed and... subhuman. Now that you told me about the infection, I wanted to ask."

Joel watched you open and close cupboards until you found the glasses, then picked one out to fill with water.

"So you ran into some runners," he said, and you nodded. "Did he happen to mention how you hit your head?"

Your hand froze, your glass halfway to your lips as you considered his question.

"Actually, no, he didn't," you said, setting down the glass and looking up at him.

"Yeah, he didn't really tell me, either," he replied, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "When he told me you hit your head and you were havin' trouble remeberin' things, I just came runnin'."

Guilt washed over you yet again as you thought about Joel being told the news and how panicked he must have been. He practically ripped all the exam room doors off their hinges to find you, only to be met with a stranger when he finally did.

"Well, I can ask him tomorrow," you finally said, putting your glass in the sink to avoid looking at him.

"Yeah," he replied, trailing off a bit. He was still lost in thought, trying to remember Tommy's exact words when you walked past him towards the stairs.

"You're tired?"

"Well, it's been a long day," you told him, pausing on a stair to look back down at him.

"Right, 'course," he said, shaking his head and following you up. When you got to the doorway of his bedroom you paused, looking up at him. It seemed like he was struggling to say something, his mind working hard to find the words, but instead he just gazed down at you, brown eyes all wide and soft.

"Don't suppose anythin's comin' back to you yet?" he finally asked, and you hated seeing that look. That same hopeful look you kept seeing right before you opened your mouth and crushed him. This was hard for him, you knew that, but the way he kept looking at you was making things so much worse. The pressure you felt to become this person he was expecting you to be was overwhelming. You opted to drop your gaze to the floor and slowly shake your head.

"That's okay," he said, and you dragged your eyes back up to him. "Maybe tomorrow."

You gave him a small smile. "Yeah, maybe."

He sighed and glanced at the door to the spare room.

"You need anythin', I'm right next door," he said, hitching his thumb to the side and giving you a lopsided grin, but you could still see it in his eyes. The disappointment. The sadness. The yearning. And it was making you feel sick.

Just as he turned to head towards the spare room, you spoke. "Joel?"

And he eagerly swiveled back around.

"I'm gonna try really hard to remember," you said earnestly, looking deep into his eyes.

"I know," he replied with a sad smile. He gave you one more look before heading into the spare room and softly closing the door behind him.

Joel slept like shit.

No surprise there, really. He hadn't slept without you in years. He had hoped the whiskey would have helped, but he was wrong. His mind was racing as he tossed and turned, and by morning he had foolishly convinced himself that you would be back to normal after a good night's rest. He got up early and made coffee for the two of you, like he always did, then tended to the fire in the living room. The nights and early mornings were frigid, but the days were warm. The first sign that fall was approaching fast. He was just putting the poker back when he heard the bedroom door creak open upstairs and his heart jumped into his throat excitedly, but when you descended the stairs and locked eyes with him, he knew nothing had changed. He didn't even bother to ask. You didn't look at him the same way you used to. You used to smile and gravitate towards him, your hands always seeking out his, your eyes playful and loving, but now you looked at him like he was a complete stranger. Devoid of all affection, the only thing that remained was a forced politeness.

You said good morning and headed into the kitchen and Joel wondered how long it would take for you to come around. Less than a day ago, you looked at him in fear, but now you seemed at least comfortable in his presence. That had to count for something.

He must have looked like shit because when he joined you in the kitchen, you eyed him up and down curiously.

"Have you been up for a while?"

He shook his head and picked up his mug, taking a sip and hoping the caffeine would bring him back to life.

"How's your head?" he asked.

"Not great," you admitted, pouring your own cup of coffee. "It really hurts. I think whatever meds the doctor gave me yesterday wore off."

Without even thinking, Joel quickly closed the distance between you to examine your injury. You startled a bit when he came up behind you and lifted your hair, but for his benefit, you tamped down your reaction. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he gripped the nape of your neck to angle your head downwards in order to get a better look. You closed your eyes and held your breath as you focused on his fingertips pressing tenderly into your skin. You heard him murmur to himself, the sound coming from deep within his chest, and you realized just how close he really was. Aside from pulling you out of the way so the kids playing tag wouldn't knock you down, it was the first time he had really touched you, and he was so much softer than you expected.

"Don't think it's infected but let's go see the doc, just to be sure," he said, his hand still on your neck, his other hand pushing your hair away.

"Okay," you said quietly, finally allowing yourself to take in a shaky breath as you waited for him to release you.

As if he realized what he was doing, he let your hair fall back into place and let go of your neck, his fingertips lightly trailing down your spine before falling to his side, making you shiver and step away.

"Sorry," he said. "Should've asked to look first."

"It's fine," you told him, absentmindedly rubbing the spot on your neck his fingers just touched.

As you walked side by side to the infirmary, his stony expression slid back into place. Gone was the softness you witnessed in his home. His hardened gaze drifted around the street, then to the watch towers, taking everything in. Studying. Calculating. And that was when you realized there were two Joel Millers: the one who the rest of the town viewed as gruff and callous, and the one you saw in the kitchen that morning, soft and gentle.

You wondered how many people got to see the latter version.

Nick examined you again in the same room as before, but this time, Joel was there watching his every move like a hawk. You could practically see the tension radiating off Nick's shoulders as he moved around the room. He examined your cut carefully, Joel's eyes never once leaving his hands, confirming that it was not infected before parceling out ten little white tablets of extra strength Tylenol into a small baggie and advising you to use them sparingly as inventory was low.

"That's it?" Joel asked incredulously.

"You know how it is, Joel," Nick said, but you heard his voice waver when Joel stood up from his chair. "Meds are hard to come by, we gotta be smart-"

"She hit her goddamn head so fuckin' hard she's lucky she remembers her own name and you're givin' her Tylenol?" he seethed, and you could see his neck growing flush with anger again.

"Joel, calm down, it's fine," you said, sliding off the table. Turning to Nick, you were about to voice your thanks when Joel cut you off.

"It ain't fine. What's it gotta take to get somethin' that actually works?" he huffed, taking a step forward and making Nick shift his weight nervously. "She gotta be missin' an arm? Maybe if she hit her head hard enough to forget what fuckin' planet she's on?"

"Joel, that's enough!" you snapped with a frown, and much to Nick's relief, Joel instantly backed off. He turned and paced around the small room, his hand rubbing over his mouth as he tried to calm down.

"What about my memory? Is it a bad sign I haven't remembered anything yet?" you asked Nick, and Joel paused somewhere behind you to listen to his answer.

"Well, the brain is a tricky thing," he began, his eyes darting over your shoulder briefly. "It could be weeks, could be months. Without any imaging, I wouldn't be able to tell you much more than that." You nodded and swallowed nervously before asking your next question.

"Or never, right?"

Nick took a deep breath and looked at Joel over your shoulder again before responding.

"It's possible."

You heard Joel's boots squeak against the linoleum floor and without even looking, you knew he was anxiously pacing around again.

"Alright, thank you. We'll get out of your hair now," you said, turning to corral Joel towards the door.

"Regardless, I'd like to see you again in a few days so I can take a look at those stitches," Nick said, and you agreed while pushing a muttering Joel back out into the hallway.

"I'll get you better meds," he said as you both walked out of the infirmary. "I got patrol tomorrow mornin', but I can go out after. There's a small cluster of houses we never did a full sweep on. Maybe-"

"The Tylenol is fine, don't go through the trouble. You could get hurt," you said, shoving the baggie of pills into your pocket.

"Tylenol ain't gonna do shit. I don't want you bein' in pain if there's somethin' we can do about it."

You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck, trying to temporarily relieve the ache in your head until you could get home and take one of the pills. You gave Joel a sideways glance, studying him as you walked together. He was brash and rude and aggressive, but you were learning that side of him came out when he was being protective over the ones he loved.

Or when he was trying to hide who he really was.

"So, everyone pitches in around here, right?" you asked, trying to change the subject. "You do patrol. What do I do?"

You paused at a crossroads, trying to remember which way to go, when Joel's hand on your elbow guided you in the right direction.

"You work patrol, too, but you ain't doin' that anymore," he said, letting go of your elbow after holding on for a moment too long.

"Well, obviously. I don't even know how to ride a horse," you said with a snort. "So I guess I need to find a new job, right? Who do I talk to?"

"Why don't you slow down a minute?" Joel said with a chuckle. "Let that pretty little head of yours heal up before you go lookin' for work."

You weren't going to say anything about his comment. Although it took you off guard, you realized he had habits that were going to be hard to ignore and you didn't expect that to happen overnight, but he seemed to realize what he said on his own and awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Sorry," he said softly.

"It's okay. I know this is difficult for you," you said, shooting him a sympathetic glance as you climbed his porch steps. He swung open the door and followed you inside, where you made a beeline for a glass of water so you could take one of the pills.

"We got a lotta history, you and me. It's hard to start over," he said as he watched you toss back the Tylenol with a wince. You examined his face closely and pulled out one of the stools to sit down. You leaned forward, forearms resting on the cool countertop before replying.

"Tell me a story."

He raised an eyebrow at you but couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from turning up a bit.

"What kinda story?"

"A story about us. You just said we have a lot of history together. Let's hear some of it," you replied with an encouraging smile.

"You sure? Thought you'd wanna go lay down," he said, but he eagerly pulled up a stool across from you.

"I think I can handle one little story," you told him, then watched as he stared down at his hands on top of the counter, deep in thought. When he thought of one, a slow smile spread across his face and his dark brown eyes flicked up to meet yours and you saw that softer side of him again.

"Alright," he said, settling back a bit. "So I told'ya last night how we met."

You cringed, remembering the story of a much bolder and seductive version of yourself, and nodded.

"Well, after that night we started seein' each other for a few weeks. It was just casual, nothin' serious," he said, looking down at his hands again. "I convinced you to sneak around so no one would catch on, and you grew tired of that. Rightfully so. I was bein' an asshole."

You watched him pull at a loose thread on the cuff of his flannel shirt, his eyes still cast down and you were beginning to realize it was due to shame.

"So anyway. One day you came over to, y'know..." he said, and you felt the heat in your cheeks again. "And you confronted me about it head on. Demanded to know why I wanted to keep you a secret. Thought I was ashamed of you - which I wasn't," he said quickly, his eyes finally meeting yours again. "But I had been through a lot of shit and I just didn't think I could give myself to someone like that again."

"What kind of shit?" you asked quietly, but he just lightly shook his head.

"One story at a time," he told you with a sad smile. You chewed on your lower lip as you waited for him to continue, his focus back on the loose string while he collected his thoughts.

"So I explained I had a hard time lettin' people in, that I wasn't capable of carin' 'bout anyone like that anymore, and you said to me, 'I know who you are, Joel Miller. Don't give me that bullshit, you're just scared.'"

He stared into your eyes, letting what he said land and hoping to see a flicker of the woman who spoke those words, but you just continued to look at him, waiting for him to finish the story like it was about somebody else entirely.

"Well, you were right, obviously. You always are," he continued with a smirk. "It knocked me on my ass. And I didn't know what was more difficult to believe: that you knew me better than I knew myself, or someone like you wanted anythin' to do with me in the first place."

You smiled and dropped your gaze to the counter, suddenly feeling shy.

"I'm not saying I don't believe you, but so far, these stories don't sound like me at all," you admitted.

He took a deep breath and finally stopped fidgeting with his sleeve.

"A lot's happened in ten years. Stuff that changes people. But I don't care what version of you's here, I love all of you."

You kept your eyes glued to his hands. You wished you could say it back. You knew he wanted to hear it. Maybe one day.

He tapped his finger on the counter, pulling your attention up so you were forced to look him in the eye.

"You fought for me that night, now I'm gonna fight for you, okay?" he said, eyebrows raised as he waited for you to acknowledge him. When you nodded sheepishly, his shoulders relaxed.

"So you're saying I fell in love with you because you were an asshole?" you joked, trying to lighten the mood, and it worked. Joel laughed heartily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nah, you didn't love me then," he said, still smiling.

"So how did I fall in love with you?" you asked, and his tongue clicked against his teeth.

"You're gonna have to wait to find out," he replied with a wink.

It wasn't his fault, but the rest of the day you could feel Joel looking at you. He was examining you, waiting to see the woman he fell in love with, and the pressure was beginning to be too much, so you made up an excuse to go lay down in his bedroom. He had mentioned he had patrol in the morning. Maybe some time away from him would help you relax.

You stared up at the white ceiling. The distant sound of children laughing outside through the closed window and then the door to the garage swinging open and shut acted as a soundtrack to your overactive thoughts. You almost had to laugh. It felt like your mind was constantly working, churning up information and digesting it only to always come up empty.

Absolutely nothing seemed familiar. Nothing about this place or these people felt like home.

You wished so badly you could remember something. Anything to make you feel like you belonged there. One little shred of hope was all you were looking for.

And then you remembered the journal.

Sitting up in bed, you tucked your legs underneath you and reached over for the black book. You fingers hesitated for a moment on the cover. It felt like an invasion of privacy, but how could that be when it was your own?

Taking a deep breath, you flipped open the journal and began at the beginning.

Right away, you could tell you wrote the entries. There was no doubt in your mind. Aside from your handwriting, your typical disorganization shone through like a beacon on every page. You occasionally remembered to notate in the margin the date, or your best guess at the date, but more often than not you were left with very little context for each small paragraph you read.

You were disappointed to realize the journal seemed to begin after you had met Joel. A big part of you was very eager to learn more about the person you were before finding Jackson, but it seemed as though you would have to depend on others to tell you stories you hopefully had relayed to them in the past.

The first page looked to be a list of items you had jotted down that didn't make much sense, but maybe when you first found the notebook, you hadn't intended to use it as a journal.

Socks, colored pencils, sunflower seeds, cards.

Flipping the page, you skimmed a short paragraph about a cabin you stumbled upon when on patrol. Again, it was more notes than anything of any substance. A description of approximately where it was in relation to Jackson along with a note to 'mention it at the next town hall meeting'.

Finally something interesting on the next page, you read a short paragraph about someone named Maria having a baby girl, and you frowned when you read the line Joel handled it better than I expected.

Continuing on, you read an entry about Christmas: Joel found me the softest sweater, it almost felt brand new. I really don't know how he managed to find it and I described the house I grew up in to Ellie and she drew it perfectly, I can't believe how talented she is.

One paragraph in particular grabbed your attention. It was about two people, and based on the context, it sounded like you were close friends. For the first time since we got here, I had the same day off as Ben and Lisa. We went fishing together and brought a lunch. It felt just like old times. As weird as it sounds, sometimes I miss being out there with them. We made a good team.

Maybe this Ben and Lisa would be able to answer some questions you had about yourself. Based on what you just read, it sounded like they knew you before Jackson.

There was a lot more to read, but the next page stopped you dead in your tracks. Your heart began to beat faster as you stared at the four words. Just one sentence, no explanation. A shiver slowly trickled down your spine as you sat there, unmoving, as your vision narrowed on the page: Joel lied to me.

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates ❤️

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller fluff #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #the last of us game #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #ikwya fic #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou

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shaisuki · 7 months ago

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Bully! Miya twins and bully suna, what if she loses weight because of what they were saying?

loses weight? who are you kidding?

as if they would allow that. the moment you said that, the trio have been doing but nothing to sabotage your attempts at diets. you're not taking away the pleasure of it.

atsumu runs his mouth like there is no tomorrow. he calls you stupid for doing such atrocity. it's an insult to him. makes you feel worthless about it. saying that you're nothing if you weren't have such features or else they wouldn't notice or give you their time.

osamu feeds you on the daily. he won't allow you to cut off your meals. monitors you on the daily on how much you ate. your meals are prepared and cooked by him. they are meals with the nutritional value you needed and sometimes adding unnecessary stuff on it. some sugar or carbs. making sure you stay the way you are and when you decline him of feeding you, he gaslights you. guilts you in wasting his time and not appreciating his efforts for the sake of you and you ridden with guilt graciously accepts the meals he prepared of you. watches you with piercing gaze making sure you take every bite of what he made and you're rewarded. praising you for allowing him to get you fed by him as if he didn't threaten you.

suna tempts you with sweets and any other stuff they he knows you're weak of. hands you a candy bar out of the blue or tricks you to try a new snack and asking you if it's delicious or whatnots and never eating a piece of it. it happens always but never done to raise suspicions since he offered and was asking you like a friend would do. that's bullshit you know that but what can you do since he asked oh so nicely or so you thought cause it made you lower your defenses around him.

does it matter actually? either they'll just force you and threaten you with all the kinds or just straight up blackmail you. atsumu goes loud about it. osamu will just shove the food down your throat and suna will just make you feel worse than ever so never mention the word diet or losing weight or anything that relates to it, cause it won't end nicely.

#꩜ ⋮ shai's thirst/drabbles⸝⸝#chubby reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #miya twins #miya atsumu x reader #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu #miya atsumu #suna rintarō #suna rintaro x reader #tw food #tw eating issues

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the-s1lly-corner · 25 days ago

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Creepypastas or slashers x pregnant!reader who's having cravings?

Various crps x pregnant!reader w/ cravings

I'll likely do a second post for slasher characters!! Woo!!

Characters: nina, jeff, eyeless jack, bloody painter

Notes: reader is afab but otherwise GN, slender mansion au because admin longs for nostalgia

CWs: mentions of eating human meat in Jack's part (he's the one eating it)

NINA

Just say the word and she's going to be in the kitchen throwing something together for you- she's not at all a good cook but God damn it is she going to try

Zero judgement from her if you ask for something that's usually viewed as gross or a weird combination... she herself eats a lot of random stuff thrown together that would probably make most recoil or gag

Don't even try to get out of bed she's going to speed run it and bring it to you, won't let you lift a finger

JEFF

Also cannot cook, and if he needs to he will either run to the store and (steal( get something for you

It.... takes him a while to get back but he WILL bring you something

Sometimes drags his feet about it... it's not really until he realizes how much the pregnancy exhausts you that he has a "oh shit" moment and actually gets off his ass

Tries to keep his opinion on weirder combos to himself as he gives you what you requested

EYELESS JACK

Zero judgment, he literally eats people so he feels he has no place to think you're weird for any of your cravings

That being said he will put his foot down if the craving is a food that can be bad for the pregnancy, WILL make sure to do some research to keep you and the baby as healthy as possible

Other than that he indulges your every whim, of possible if you're craving for general snacks he keeps some baggies in your shared room!

He already eats away from you but he makes sure to separate from you while he eats if the.. smell of the blood makes you ill...

BLOODY PAINTER

Great cook, and you often find yourself craving his food... and he's more than willing to cook for you when you ask

Doesn't matter what time it is either, will make you something in the middle of the night

Feeds you if you're too tired, and he doesn't rush you

He... doesn't understand the weirder cravings but he's not going to say anything about it, it's not his business- he's not the one eating it

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harleehazbinfics · 9 months ago

Text

Love eat?

Alastor x cannibal servant!reader

Original Concept | Additional Concept

Word count: 1764

A/N: sup im back with more crack, jk. but yeahhh i did a oneshot of that imagine and now we're here. i've channeled my inner crazy and that led me to this oneshot lmao, sorry if it's not up to par but pls enjoooooyyyy!

ps I can't find the artist pls help. chainsaw man falling devil spoiler sorry

“Yuta!” you called your boyfriend from where you sat waiting for him.

“Sorry, I'm late,” he says with an apologetic smile, placing his bag to his side while he sat in front of me.

“No, it's ok! You're doing your best in school. I was the one who asked you to eat with me anyway,” you responded clapping your hands together, appealing cutely to your boyfriend.

“But you're busy with your culinary classes too. I'm sure you're working harder than I am!” He replied, making you smile at how genuine he sounded.

You reached inside your bag and presented 2 lunch boxes in front of him. His eyes widen in anticipation while you opened them, revealing a well plated pork cutlet and a healthy salad in the other lunch box.

“I have! I learnt a few new things during class, and I wanted you to be the first to eat my cooking. I hope you like them!” He smiles at you, flattered that he was the first thing on your mind when you made the meal. He always loved your cooking.

The both of you met when you were first years, he was just roaming the halls familiarizing himself with the school layout when he heard you squealing inside a room and helped you put out a small fire that you accidentally created while you stayed behind in the Economics Room to relearn the basics taught to you that day. So, he stayed with you until the end so that you won't set the whole room on fire this time, and as thanks you gave the meal you completed to him afterwards. As he tasted it, threw it back up when he tasted how salty it was, so you resolved yourself that you'd make a decent meal for him, and that's where your friendship to relationship started.

“Wow! You've really outdone yourself this time!” He yells with stars in his eyes, savoring each bite.

You laughed at him and pushed the salad closer to him, and said, “You can eat all of it. It's all for you!”

“Really? Thanks a lot! It's so great to have you as my girlfriend!”

-=-=-=-

“Yuta?” you asked with wide eyes as you eyed the knife in his hand that was pointed at you.

“I-I can't take it anymore. I don't want to eat any food you make for me anymore, it’s disgusting. I don’t want to eat humans! I hate it, I hate it, I HATE YOU!” He screamed lunging at you.

He pushes the knife to your stomach, a few moments later you feel the metallic taste in your throat, letting the liquid drop from your tongue as you took has face that held great remorse for you. You smiled at the pretty expression on his face and rubbed your thumb on his cheeks, smearing it with your own blood.

"How pretty. I love all the expressions you make. Do it more," you coughed out.

His expression changes from fear to disgust and anger. Vengefully, he takes your wrists binding them together in his forceful grip and continues to stab you until you died from the pain and blood loss. However, despite your body tensing and losing color on you face, he never stopped. After his knife slipped out of his hands from your blood, he threw himself at you and bit into your neck.

Devouring you. Bit by bit.

---

You've been aimlessly roaming around hell and chopping sinners with your cleaver that were dumb enough to pick a fight with you. At the moment, you sat on top of a building waiting for something to happen while eating an beefy arm starting from the shoulder.

While you were gnawing at it with a blank expression on your face. You were surprised when a massive green explosion appeared out of nowhere, inducing a few screams of terror.

Just a couple blocks in front of you, you see a giant red deer demon with black tentacles coming out his back as he crushed sinners in his hands and consuming them.

You immediately dropped the arm you were holding and watched as the overlord showed off his power against you, sinners. Unable to hold yourself, you followed his parade of chaos and squeaked when he appears behind you wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"How rude of you to follow me around, while I was playing with my meal," he remarks with a snarky tone.

You got distracted with his voice. How could someone be so seductive with a radio filter on, you ask yourself.

"It's also rude to stare, you know?" He adds, starting to get pissed off by how unresponsive you were as you just kept gawking at him.

"I was just admiring how powerful you were, sir! I've never seen a demon turn into that kind of form. I-I was enchanted!" You yelled at him, hands clasped together while fan-girling at his abilities with hearts in your eyes.

"My, I've never seen such behavior from a person such as you. Are you eager to be eaten?" He laughs before his eyes turning black leaving his red pupils and radio dial iris.

"Yes! I would be happy to!" You answered almost immediately, making him revert to his normal self, getting caught off guard with your reply.

He hums turning his head in confusion and irritation, “Well, that just won’t do. I only like it when my prey gets scared rather than having a sacrifice like you.”

He tries to ride away in his shadow but before he could do so, he halts in his steps when you step in front of him. “Please! I’ll act scared! I’ll do anything! I just want to be with you!” you cried dropping to the floor pathetically making him deadpan to the sight.

He huffs, and turns his back at you, “Hmm. Do what you wish.”

With that, you stayed and served Alastor for years. You’ve arranged deals for him, did his bidding on some occasions and even represented him a few times in meetings. However, your main occupation was his personal chef.

Sure, one could argue that he likes his meats raw and cooks for himself sometimes. But do you expect that man to cook every meal for himself for a nearly a century? Overlords don’t have that much free time, you know? (or at least that what Sir Alastor says) and you happily take on this task when he discovers that you were an excellent chef, living up to his own impossible standards.

However, you find yourself in a very peculiar situation.

“(y/n)? Is it really you?”

You’ve come face to face with your first love and your killer. You couldn’t help but leap up from you position and hug him while he did his best to get away from you.

“Yuta! You’re finally in here! I knew you’d come to find me, hehe,” you cried still hugging him while he struggled in your mighty grip. “I’ve been waiting for you, y’know?” you said to him with your eyes darkening at him giving him the familiar dangerous look in your eye making him tense up and unconsciously threw you across the room with his strength.

You didn’t hit the impact when Alastor raised his arms and caught you before placing you on your feet, ignoring your heart-eyes as usual.

“And who is this with you?” he asks the group, almost sneering at the new man.

“This is Yuta! He’s our new guest! We found him in Cannibal Town, and he asked us where we were, he’s now he's here!” Charlie introduces excitedly holding Yuta by the shoulder.

“Ooh, is he a bad boy?” Nifty asks looking flirtatiously.

“Why, of course! He’s the one that killed me after all!” I announced with a smile. “Isn’t that right, dear?”

He rolls his eyes and says to Charlie, “I’ll be fine anywhere as long as I don’t get involved with her. I’ll find a room myself.”

You all watch as he shows himself to one of the rooms while Charlie replies, “Uhh, ookayyy?”

“So, what’s with you and that guy?” Angel first asks, “There’s a lot of sexual and… psychological tension there.”

“Yeah, and what do you mean he killed you?” Vaggie continues, while all of them looked at you.

“Oh, you know, couple fights. One thing led to another and poof, I was gone,” you explained simply with a laugh, making Nifty laugh as well.

“So, you two dated?” Angel asked in surprise.

“Exactly, why?” I smiled at him.

“Uhh, sure. He just looks like a boy failure to me. How the fuck could he bag a hottie like you!” Angel laughs throwing his head back.

"What a crazy bitch," Husk comments blankly looking at you before peeking at Alastor's annoyed face making him raise his long brow.

You tilt you head to the side confused, before Charlie would come in and say that she’d explain it to you.

A few weeks gone by, and you didn’t stop pestering your ex with things he hated when you couldn’t get enough of the expressions on his face. You loved seeing him get so angry with you, you just loved getting on his nerve. Or it could be some fucked up enjoyment of how you remembered being eaten by him half dead that sent chills to your body every time.

“That’s it! I’ve had enough of your shit!” he yells bursting in flames.

“Oh, what? Cat got your tongue baby boy?” you teased him hands behind your back trying to annoy him.

“Oh, fuck you!” he screams as he runs forward at you trying to land a punch which you jump away from effortlessly.

He eventually tires himself out and sees you giving the deer demon googly eyes that ticks him off. He loads up a fire blast and shoots it at Alastor. You intercepted it in between not noticing him following behind it and takes hold of you neck choking you.

“Not bad,” you wheeze out with a wicked grin, setting him off and squeezing your neck tighter.

He fails to notice the black portal underneath him where a black tentacle reaches out to his ankle and wraps around his body, making him let go off you.

“I’d rather you not mess with my property if I were you,” Alastor announces menacingly as he had you in his arms. You feel starstruck as you were being princess carried and being defended by the one you admired. “I don’t like sharing, so this is my last warning for both of you to not get involved with each other.”

“Yes, sir! Anything for you!” you scream your heart out that felt like it was beginning to burst out of your chest and leap in your throat, while you give him heart eyes that he ignored, while he brought both of you to his chambers.

"Are you finally going to eat me, Sir Alastor?"

"Shut your mouth before I stitch it up for you."

"Yes, sir! I love you! 💕"

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin husk #hazbin lucifer #hazbin vaggie #alastor x reader #harleehazbinfic #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x oc #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor

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firegirl888101 · 1 year ago

Text

Insatiable Madness (8)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

Bedroom arrangements... You have to sort them out soon.

Reader is Gender Neutral!

"Would you stop staring at me? It's borderline creepy." You turned behind you, seeing Dottore and Sandrone peering from the doorway.

They had been doing this since you allowed the Harbingers to get comfortable. Some of them in your opinion had been too comfortable considering the current circumstances... But other than that, everything had been going shockingly smoothly.

Well, until you realised none of them could cook using modern technology.

So here you are now, cooking for 12 people with food you definitely couldn't afford everyday.

"You won't let me delve into machines of this century, like 'The Television'. Therefore, you will allow me to study what you're doing..."

"I'm cooking, you fucking weirdo."

"I do not see anywhere that could possibly let out heat, surely a fire is required to cook food?" Dottore argued.

"Just because electricity isn't hot, doesn't mean other materials can't change the temperature."

"I see... So you have an infinite source of electricity which is cooking your food. Then conducting that electricity with a material, perhaps a type of conductive ore, to warm up that pot you placed on that flat slab. To be able to do that... You truly must be powerful and knowledgeable."

"...It's just science and mechanics bro-- and it's not a 'flat slab'! It's a hob."

"Heeeeey, when will the food be ready? I'm starving over here!" Childe whined, entering the kitchen and walking past the two peepers.

Oh my god. This is the fifth time he's said that.

"Ask me that one more time and I'll pour this boiling water over your head."

"How long do you expect us to wait?" Pantalone walked up to you.

"Taking your time as usual, mortals truly are slow." Scaramouche rolled his eyes.

...Maybe it was too early to say things had been going smoothly earlier.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Getting everyone to sit at the table together proved to be a challenge.

The few who did so without complaint soon got up and left when you came back with more willing people, and some refusing to cooperate even when you got Pierro to help you out.

And then you had fuckers like Capitano insisting he 'guards the house' as if it's a fucking castle or private expensive estate.

"I do not see the point in sitting to eat if there could be danger lurking around every corner."

"This is my house. There won't be any danger unless it sneaks in from outside." You tried to convince him, truly you did.

You were so close to getting everyone to sit down. He's the last harbinger you needed... and the dinner is still warm too!

"Your argument is weak and insulting. I have offered to protect your home, and protect your honour. Yet, you force me to move away?" He questions you, his voice showing unfiltered offense.

Well, if he puts it that way.... I suppose he's doing me a favour, he thinks he is in his mind at the very least. If I challenge him I think he'll grow hostile and refuse further...

"Please," You said after a short while of thinking. "Please join us at the table. I promise the moment you finish eating you can return to your duties, Lord Capitano."

If I remember correctly, most if not all Fatui soldiers respected him due to his loyalty towards his soldiers, no matter what age or gender. He would spend his time for them after a battle, and would make sure everyone was healthy and ready for the next day.

Of course, this couldn't possibly be the full truth, he's a Fatui Harbinger! I doubt he got the first rank by just handing cakes to people.

Besides, this was all from memory. If things turned for the worst, you could always google some theories and knowledge. Or...! Or, you could wait for the game to update! Surely more would be revealed there?

"Even if I... joined you for dinner... I wouldn't dare eat." He sighed after thinking about your words.

"Why? Ohhhhh! It's because of your mask, right?" You suddenly realised.

You were just being insensitive all along! How did it take you this long to come to the conclusion he doesn't take it off?

"Could you please still join? I won't pressure you to eat, I promise." You smiled at him.

You heard a deep sigh, then he slowly nodded.

"When the first person finishes eating, I'll return here."

Wooohoo! Finally, that took way longer than you would have liked. You did lie a bit though, you were going to lock the front door so he couldn't just stand in the middle of it anymore.

It was beginning to get a bit cold in the house, and you didn't feel like hearing extra complaints from a certain banker...

You led him towards the dining room, and when you finally arrived, every single harbinger was looking at the two of you with boredom present on their faces.

"Took you long enough." Scaramouche scoffed with his arms crossed. "Why did you even make us sit together anyway?"

"When you go hungry, don't expect me to make you food then."

"They're kidding right? I don't have to eat to survive, unlike some of these mortals." He rolled his eyes.

"It's still polite, show some etiquette." Pantalone lightly scoffed in his direction, a smile present on his face.

"This all looks rather lovely." He complimented you, watching you sit down at the head of the table, opposite of Pierro.

"Thank you, but please don't compliment my cooking. This is the first time I've actually cooked a proper meal."

You didn't actually cook this. You just took all the noodles you had left in your personal cupboard and combined them into one boiling pot.

You were surprised Dottore and Sandrone didn't notice, especially since they were focusing so intently on you.

"Seriously? You're one talented chef! The noodles you made are perfect, just as good as the ones I've tried in Liyue!" Childe praised you, taking the fork on the side of his plate and dragging the noodles up to eye level.

"Wait a minute... Why has everyone else got chopsticks besides me!?" He suddenly realised.

"Because I need to get rid of them, I'm sick of my cupboards piling up with these shit ones. Plus, I'm aware you still can't use them."

Speaking of your personal and reusable chopsticks, you left them in the kitchen.

"I'm excusing myself from the table to get my own chopsticks since I forgot to grab my personal pair. If I come back and see any of you out of your chairs, I'm kicking you out of my house.

"You're not in any position to say--"

"STAY IN YOUR FUCKING CHAIR."

"Alright, alright! Psh, they can't take a joke."

"If you don't want to use the chopsticks I've provided, you may use the forks I placed in the middle of the table." You added in, almost forgetting that part.

Some harbingers let out a sigh of relief.

...I'll not question that.

You stood up and pushed your chair in, walking to the kitchen and grabbing your chopsticks with a special pattern.

Now is the time to take a deep breath, relax, prepare a couple questions you want to ask and get these Harbingers out of your house.

You've gotten too fearful. They killed your family, your neighbours, your friends. You should never forget that fact, you can't fight them or resist in fear of being killed. But, you can learn how to survive with them.

Take another deep breath. Hide your fear as best you can.

"I'm back!" You announced, a smile present on your face as you sat down where you left off.

You watched each Harbinger eat the food you prepared respectfully, some with small smiles and others looking as bored as earlier.

"So...." You started, nervously stirring your noodles.

"You want to ask questions, correct?" Pierro interrupted your collected thoughts, a sigh erupting from his lips.

"It's obvious that's why you grouped us up together, it's downright clear you know some of us can't eat or don't like to."

"Well, now that you've told me it was obvious, I won't beat around the bush."

"Beat around the... excuse me?" Arlecchino raised an eyebrow after eating another.

"Figure of speech."

"Ah, understood. Continue."

"Actually, before you get down to business I'd like to ask a question of my own." Signora raised her hand.

"And... what would that be? Don't you think I've earned the right to ask my questions first?" You turned your attention to her.

Now that you think about it, she hasn't spoken much at all. This is the first time she's directly addressed you since you first got captured.

...Apart from calling you a child of course, you could never forget that of all things.

"The noodles are a little plain, too plain for my liking. Do you have anything extra to add to it? Perchance some condiments? Your bowl looks... different to our own bowl's. What did you add to it?"

"I forgot you don't know how pot noo- I mean noodles work in this world! Sorry, I keep forgetting how you came from another place entirely different to this planet." You gasped, running to the kitchen and returning with different coloured packets.

"What... are they?" Sandrone pointed at the plastic packs.

"They look like poisons my clone's deliver for me to test out." Dottore thought outloud.

"Not at the table, please." Pantalone cringed.

"These, Harbingers, are a miracle in the making." You began, catching the attention of all of them.

'They look like puppies... It's cute.' Is what you would think if you forgot these are bloodthirsty monsters.

"Allow me to introduce you to the world of Sauce Packets. Each colour and size represents a flavour in the packet, and what garnish you'd like on top of your noodles!" You explained, placing all the packets you could find next to the pile of forks which had been unused.

"Amazing! You just get to pick like that?"

"Yup!"

"And... There's nothing else to it? No storing the packets in a cool area so they don't go off?"

"Nope!"

"Incredible... How does the food not become moldly or uneatable?" Dottore muttered.

"They're sealed really well. No air can get in or out until you rip the packet open."

"I want these two." Scaramouche rolled his eyes, grabbing two packs from the pile and holding them above his bowl.

"Be careful not to grab them too tight or they'll--!" You tried to speak as loud and quick as you could. But, unfortunately... "Burst..."

"What the actual shi--!?"

"There's a lot of sauce in those packets... Luckily for you, you held them above your bowl so the majority went in it! Thanks for not wasting any." You struggled to hold your laughter, grabbing a couple tissues from your pocket.

"Did any get on you?" You let a small giggle pass you lips.

He stared at you for a moment, his eyes burning through yours. After a couple moments, he came to reality and noticed all the harbingers laughing, giggling and chuckling at his previous actions.

"...No." He snatched the tissues from your open hand.

"How amusing and childish Scaramouche." Dottore commented, covering his mouth which hid his grin.

"I don't want to hear that kind of comment from you of all people." The puppet shook his head with a snarl, wiping his lap with the tissues.

"Alright, I only have these two flavours left, the red packet on your left being a really spicy flavour. The orange packet on your right being chicken. Oh, and, the smaller packets I have contain either basil and garlic, as well as coriander here."

The Harbingers, after hearing your explanation, picked which packets they wanted and put them in their bowls of noodles. Except Capitano, he hadn't touched anything since he sat down at the table.

Once demonstrating how to mix the noodles with the cutlery, the Harbingers began to eat once more with happier smiles than before and light chatter.

"So, you wanted to ask some questions?" Pierro coughed into his hand, his expression soon turning stern and distant.

"Yes! Thank god we're back to this topic." You shook your head, a wry smile on your face.

"...What exactly are you planning to do next?" You asked the first question.

"What do you mean by that?" Columbina smiled eagerly at you.

"You're stuck in my world, thanks to Dottore's compass breaking... which looked oddly close to an illegal chest compass - but I won't judge the design."

"Yes, thank you for adding the 'DOTTORE'S COMPASS' breaking in your reasoning." Sandrone nodded with a satisfactory smile.

"Anyway, what do you plan to do next? You can't just hideout in my house until Dottore somehow creates a new machine, with materials he won't ever get his hands on since you're all no longer in Teyvat."

"You mean you don't have the same minerals here as in Teyvat?" He questioned you, tapping the table to form a little tune.

"Did you really think an ore called 'Magical Ore Chunk' would exist here?"

"...We didn't name it."

"I suppose the one thing you could say exists would be Iron. But I have no idea whether they work the same, they could very well have different effects when mined due to different adaptations to their environment."

"Do you use Iron to craft weapons?" Capitano spoke for the first time since entering the dining room. Too bad he sounds so excited, the answer won't please him too much.

"We do... or, we did. In the past hundred years, we've developed new weapons using different minerals and... chemicals." You grimaced.

"Oooh, this is getting interesting!" Columbina laughed, finishing her noodles with a pleasant sigh. "Sooo good."

"Glad you like them." You nodded at her, before returning your attention back to Dottore.

"Don't ask me about the chemical part. It's illegal for those to know how the dangerous substances are made, unless they're working for the goverment or a specially trained company."

"How dangerous could they really be...?"

"Again," You sighed. "Don't question it."

"I'm still traumatised when you put on that surgery channel earlier this afternoon."

"Back to my question?" You asked them again, tone sounding hopeful for a proper answer.

"Truthfully, we don't know what's going to happen. Haven't had a meeting to discuss it yet." Tartaglia shrugged, finishing also and putting his fork in the bowl.

"Tartaglia." Capitano scolded.

"Yes, Captain!" Childe saluted. Capitano and Pulcinella just shook their heads as a reply.

"Tartaglia is right, we don't know what to do."

"By chance, did your parents happen to know anything revolving machinery and world travelling?"

This is unwelcome territory now.

"Maybe. However, we wouldn't be able to ask them anyway." You shook your head, resisting the urge to lash out.

"Why? Are they out of town? Or perhaps they're at work someplace else?"

"You killed them."

Silence then took hold of the Harbinger's, not one person touched the food in front of them nor moved a centimetre.

"What?" Childe broke the silence, his voice as quiet as a mouse.

"You murdered my family in cold blood, butchered their bodies when you found they had no use to you and then dumped them to the side."

They all continued to stay silent, some closing their eyes, while some's faces showing an ounce of guilt.

Like you believed that guilt though.

"Fuck this." Scaramouche rudely announced, pushing his chair out and walking out of the room.

"I wanted to ask a few more questions, but you know what, I'm not in the mood anymore. Enjoy what's left of dinner, I know I won't. With my bruised body, I'm surprised I've lasted this long without collapsing in pain."

And with that, you left the table for the final time that evening. Carrying your bowl with you, you ascended up the stairs to your bedroom with tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

A bit sad, isn't it? Well, they've got more coming to them so I wouldn't get sad just yet. You wouldn't believe what I've got planned lol

Please don't expect too many happy, nice and generally fluffy scenes.

This is Yandere, a genre which should never, under any circumstance be considered normal. It's abusive, unhealthy and leads to a lot of victims facing awful conditions which they never should or ever have to endure no matter who they are.

This is fiction that I'm writing, meaning it's all taken light-heartedly IN A FICTIONAL SENSE.

If anyone, by chance, is currently in conditions where a loved-one or yourself has suddenly become distant and/or being hurt when away from eyes please get help. Talk to them, or if it's you, talk to someone you know you can trust.

If you can't talk to anyone, find authorities who can help you. Call 999, as it is in the U.K, or your local emergency service. They will always help you, and will never deny your rights or freedom.

Thanks for reading this, I hope all who's reading knows this information already, but I thought I'd include it since who knows when it comes to where you are in the world and whether your education programs taught critical information like this.

On to more happy stuff!:

Thank you all so much for the support, I hope you'll stick with me for the rest of the parts in this series until I get to the finish line. :)

Back to the fluffy stuff convo... I'm really trying to squeeze them in, because if Y/N isn't showing kindness or anything nice to any of them, none of them will begin to grow feelings for them. It may seem out of place, but Y/N is coping right now. It's not like they can leave the house to run for help.

They saw what the Harbingers can do without thinking of other's lives being a consequence.

✨Elusive✨ Taglist!:

@valeriele3 @pale-value @pix-stuff @yumi-genshin-writer @yuii-v @itz-luna @annoying-mary @etherisy @khalhaimdad @haikyuusboringassmanager @magica-ren @sweatyexpertdeputyduck @booksandteaplusart @9140 @whatamidoing89 @raesleepyhead @nasidibakar @shikanosn @purpleamethystsblog @chihawari @esthelily @stuffyfrenchflowers @conspicuous-mayonnaise @sielt @katsumikumo @greyhoundwires707 @carminerin @raidendeeznuts123 @angelofdarkness2 @conspicuous-mayonnaise @ginnxy-galaxy @clara-maddenlin @bk-4-trash-fire @uniqaal @tnsophiaonly @vianitry @dottoreandcolumbinaslovechild

Quick Reminder Here! If you no longer want to be on the taglist that's completely fine; I take no offence whatsoever so please don't hesitate to tell me. ^^

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cherie-doll · 1 month ago

Note

Coming from your last post

what kind of a man do you take graves to be? he's mostly assumed to be some flightly guy but i guess you see some 'sweetheart' in that man? do you think he could comfort/help someone lets say struggling emotionally, or would you see him incapable of affection/emotional support? could he be protective?

maybe a little headcanons about his sweet side, if you believe it exists? (felt that way about the kiss headcanons a bit eheh)

he's babygirl to me

I don't think he's flighty but he seems that way because he thinks internally first, "What makes sense to me?" and then acts according to that, his mind works this way because he is confident in his smart and logical background (not to say we are all prone to impulsiveness at times, some more than others)

And he's caring about others and it shows in his decisions, it's obvious he cares about those who work near him and around him, he's a pleasant person to be around and is overall perceived as nice on the surface

Now, when it comes to relationships; he is bold and won't hesitate to flirt when "testing the waters", once he has an established relationship, however, he is straightforward and focused on maintaining that relationship and be deeper and more intimately involved as long as you're on the same track with him

now that we're through with the nitty gritty of it, it's time for the fun stuff

Most people deal with his straightforward style and manner, but the act comes clean off the moment he arrives home

He wishes to give you everything a man could give and more

You're like his coffee in the morning, having you after the glowing sunrays wake him up little by little, you're his favorite plate of which he could enjoy from at any moment of the day and still not have enough of

He'll be sitting at the dining table eating something you've made for him, and whilst your back is to him, maybe washing dishes or something, he'll sneak up behind you, snake an arm around your waist and peppering kisses on your nape all the while begging for you to go to bed with him, he's tired and wants to rest next to you

And this man LOVES it when you cook for him, especially if you find out what his favorite food is and you made it for him???

Casual affection in public like his hand placement on your lower back when guiding you or walking next to you, kisses to the side of your head, reaching for your hand and flashing the diamond ring for everyone to see with a proud smile on his face

If it's your anniversary or some important date or maybe when he just feels like it he'll go over the top, he can go all out for surprises and gifts for you because he can :)

I'd say he's reasonably protective of you, he knows much you can handle and when you might need him to step in, he can't help but worry if you don't answer his calls after he's dialed your number like three times and you don't answer

And when he takes you on dates he adores it when you get all dressed up and nice looking for him, he'll call you beautiful constantly and wonder how he got so lucky

And sometimes it's not always a candlelit dinner, he's explored more rural parts and likes taking you on a 2-3 hour drive through his favorite parts of the countryside

Will pack some sleeping bags, pillows and blankets to set up and stay enveloped in your embrace, stargazing in your eyes, admiring the silver stars

He enjoys waking up to see that golden morning sun barely peeking above the horizon line, smell the smoke that has adhered to your clothing from last night's fire, holding you close to feel your heartbeat

Feeling as if he can now rest awhile, his mornings and nights used to be all the same until he met you

His creative ways of telling you he loves you is saying he'll love you until the sun falls from the sky, and Phillip never wants things to get in the way of him saying that

#i like him a little too much i think #phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #phillip graves brainrot #phillip graves cod #phillip graves x you #call of duty #cod fanfic #cod headcanons

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subbmissivesuccubus · 11 months ago

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M-Q (Rengoku X Reader X Uzui)

Part 3 of the series! Sorry it took so long oop I still love these men so much <3 <3 <3

Part 1; Part 2;

┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　°┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　°┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　°

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Uzui always loved strong, confident, intelligent women as it made it all the more satisfying when he broke them down. You especially were confident, strong and on your way to becoming a formidable Hashira. You were looked up to by your underlings and respected by your comrades and peers. Even the other Hashira's have taken note of your talents, your breathing skill so fast and powerful- they all started making bets on when you'd join them in their ranks. But unknown to them all, their strong and powerful demon slayer, known for being a leader and not taking shit from anyone in the battlefield was getting reduced to a whining, whimpering mess every night by one sound Hashira. It turned Uzui on so much to be one of the only people to see this side of you- breaking down your pride as he made you submit to him, your whimpers of begs and pleas for more pleasure making his cock rock hard. On missions, you were powerful enough to even keep up with him, never faltering or making any complaints and definitely not begging for breaks no matter how hard he pushed you, but here? When it was just the three of you? You knew better than to challenge him. "What would the others think, hmm?" he'd say as he rolled his hips against yours, filling your womb with another serving of cum, laughing as he saw your expression: tears streaming down your face, mouth wide open with your eyes rolled to the back of your head, body shaking as you came down from your own orgasm. "Their perfect senpai reduced to a mindless slut for me~"

Rengoku can't help but get turned on especially in quiet moments of domesticity. It fuels his desire for a peaceful life with a beautiful wife (and hopefully children) and when he sees you simply enjoying some time with them, no demons or training to worry about, he just has to take you. Whether it's waking up in the morning next to your sleeping form- he can't help but pull your yukata apart and start gently suckling your breasts, soft sucks on your nipples as he waits for you to wake up, loving the little squeals you let even as you sleep. If you're making food for your partners, demanding they relax and let you make a meal for them- the view of you cooking while wearing a cute apron atop your outfit is enough for him to come behind you, bend you over the kitchen counter and eat your pussy out till you gush all over the kitchen floors. When he sees how kind and sweet you are towards his brother, Senjuro already considering you an older sister, it makes his heart swell. Seeing the way the two of you would play together, how you'd encourage him to follow his dreams, telling him stories of Rengoku's brave feats on the battle field in a way that made Senjuro's eyes sparkle in pride and awe, the way you'd gently stroke his hair as he fell asleep on your lap- it made Rengoku realize that you would be an amazing mother and his desire to wed you and have babies with you increased a hundred fold. Once Senjuro was put to bed, he'd drag you to the bedroom and stuff you with so much cum it would be a miracle if he hadn't knocked you up yet. It didn't help that his father gave him a stern talking to:

"Kyoujuro- if you don't marry that girl, you're disowned from the family."

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

One thing Rengoku will never ever do, regardless of how much you ask him to (if you enjoy it), is slap you in the face. He understands that some people get pleasure out of the pain and can see how much you enjoy it if Uzui gives you a light tap on your cheek- but he simply won't do it. It's one thing to spank your ass or slap your tits red, it's another to see a bruise form on the face of the woman he loves because of him. Just picturing him raising his hand to crack you across the face makes him shudder in disgust at himself for even imagining it.

Uzui knows how strong he is and is very aware that if he isn't careful, things can go very bad very quickly. Which is why he rarely chokes you with his hands. He'd prefer to use a collar and a leash as he'll never tamper with the tightness of said items and thus, knows you'll be safe. Even if you wish for him to choke you with his own hands, it will only happen when he's playing with your body, fingering you or while he watches Rengoku take you, i.e when his cock isn't inside you. But, during the nights you're having sex and he's pounding his dick into your cunt, he will never choke you with his hand in fear that he'll loose himself in the pleasure and restrain your airways a touch too tightly. He knows that since Rengoku is present and you yourself are capable of getting out of a bad situation that there is no real risk of things going south- but he'd never want to be in- nor put you in- that situation to begin with. So. regardless of how much you beg, he won't choke you. You just have to settle with a few fingers getting stuffed down your throat.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Rengoku and Uzui love love love eating you out, their passion for drinking your juices as they eat your pussy like a peach unrivaled. Sometimes they eat you out for hours, taking turns as they switch each time you cum in their mouth, holding you down and ignoring your pleas for a break, telling you to just be a good girl and take it. Rengoku is slow yet precise when he eats your pussy. He knows now which spots get the best reactions and where to suck to get you to your orgasm faster. He loves sucking your clit into his mouth, moaning around it and making your body shake as he abuses your cute little bud. He makes out with your pussy, capable of making you cum within minutes or edging you for hours if he so pleases. Uzui is more feral and messy, the man eating you out like he's dying of thirst. Licks every nook and cranny of your cunt, shoves his tongue into your hole, nibbles on your pussy lips before pulling them with this teeth, running his tongue in circles around your clit- the list goes on. A mixture of your juices and his spit will drip down his chin but he doesn't care, continuing to growl and groan as he takes you mercilessly. He'll have a tight grip on your thighs as he eats you out, lifting and placing your body wherever he pleases, even dangling you upside down if it means he can get his tongue in you. When he has his mouth on your cunt, he is in control and he'll eat you out the way he wants to.

They could make it a whole nights routine, one of them having a mouth on your poor cunt at all times or, it can even be a casual thing, pulling your pants down and kissing your pussy just for the feel of having it against their lips before pulling your pants back up. They are also the only people who demand you sit on their face and you knew you didn't need to worry about suffocating them.

They both love receiving oral pleasure from you as well, of course. Having your cute self between their legs, pretty lips stretched around their cock as you struggle to take their girth and length into your mouth. Eyes watering and face red as you look up at them with a needy, aroused look in your eyes- the feeling of your wet heat surrounding their member- the tightness of your throat as you eventually shove their length deeper and deeper- what's not to love? Uzui is someone who prefers your pussy over your mouth any-day while Rengoku is appreciative of both your addictive features <3 And they'd never admit it, but watching you struggle to please both of them with your mouth at once was such a sexy sight. Whether you're sucking one cock while pumping the other- whether it's you're tongue darting between the two touching cock-heads- or whether it's their hard cocks resting against your face while you took a second to catch your breath- the situation was made all the more sexier by having two cocks ruin your pretty face at once.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the mood as they can go either way. If it is a slow, romantic night, they'll slowly take your clothes off, kissing your body as inch after inch of your skin gets revealed. They'll slip their tongue into your mouth, sweetly, sensually caressing your tongue as they swallow you sweet, little whines. Once they have you naked, one of them will go between your legs, placing a kiss to your abdomen before spreading your thighs and baring them your pussy. They'll eat you out slowly, deliberately, like they're making out with your cunt in a drunken haze while the other stimulated you in other ways, usually sucking on your pretty nipples. When they get their cock in you, either double stuffing or spit roasting, they move slowly. Rolling their hips while they whisper sweet praises into your ears, taking you gently and lovingly.

But when it's a steamy night- when the desperation to feel you overpowers any other senses- it's fast and rough and filthy~ Your clothes get torn to pieces, your lips bitten raw from the desperate make out session, your attention diverted to several places at once. One of them sucks your nipples, biting and sucking at your plush skin and leaving an array of hickies and bite marks, their teeth indented into your skin, marking you like feral animals. Another one eats your pussy while they stroke their cock, eager to work you open enough so they can immediately fuck you, not patient enough for foreplay- the only thing on their mind being to fuck you silly on their dicks.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Rengoku isn't the biggest fan of quickies, much preferring to take his time pleasuring you and enjoying the intimacy but, with their lives as demon slayers, always on missions and constantly on the move, he's come to appreciate a quick fuck. Uzui on the other hand, loves a quickie. Nothing beats taking his time with you, of course, but there is something so hot about desperate, filthy, rough sex with the intention of finishing up quickly so they could go on their way.

Pulling you aside into an empty room before you have to leave, Rengoku's lips desperately kisses yours as Uzui greedily pulls your pants down from behind just enough to press his cock between your plush thighs. He'll work you up expertly, your pussy dripping for him in a matter of minutes, pent up and needy over the way he was thrusting between your soft thighs, his hard cock teasing your clothed cunt. Rengoku would be pawing at your breasts, not taking the time to unbutton your uniform as he simply enjoyed your tits, easily finding your nipples even through the layers of fabric, his tongue down your throat.

Uzui would place a hand on your back and push gently, a silent order to bend down. Rengoku moved along with you and your find yourself on your feet with your back bent, Uzui dry humping you from behind while Rengoku's bulge is right in front of your face, the flame hashira desperately trying to quickly get his member out. Uzui would simply pull your panties to the side before pushing inside you, biting his lower lip as he fucks his cock deep, deep inside your needy cunt. You can't even moan as Rengoku pushes his cock into your mouth, the man groaning as his dick gets enveloped in your hot, wet heat. You can feel his cock grow harder inside your mouth, your moans from Uzui picking up the pace to fuck your pussy giving Rengoku even more pleasure.

"Good girl- good girl- fucking take it~" Uzui would groan silently, the nasty sound of his hips slapping against yours echoing through the room, "We'll make it upto you, baby girl- next time- oh fuck- next time, we'll make you cum so much you pass out~"

#subby writes #kimetsu no yaiba smut #demon slayer smut #rengoku x reader #demon slayer uzui #uzui x reader #kny uzui #uzui tengen #tengen uzui #uzui smut #kny rengoku #rengoku x reader x uzui #rengoku smut

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anxi04 · 4 days ago

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tim acting like bruce’s parent fic lets goo

It always felt so odd whenever someone called Tim Bruce's son. Yes, legally he was adopted. But that's where that starts and ends.

Dick is Bruce's son. Jason is Bruce's son. Damian is Bruce's son. Cass is Bruce's daughter. Tim was never his son, and never will be. And yet outside of Bruce and Tim himself everyone else sees Tim as his son. It's absurd since it's clearly the other way around.

"Come on Bruce, you're tired, probably starving and dehydrated, just take a break. Two hours, that's all you need. Enough to eat and drink and take a nap." Tim says tiredly to Bruce, who instead of taking his advice like a responsible person would, just grunts and goes back to tapping away at the Bat-Computer. He swears he might as well be Bruce's parent with how he has to semi gentle parent him. Hmm… Maybe he should lean into that.

"Bruce, you won't be helping anyone like this, you could make a mistake and end up hurting someone else unintentionally. You don't want that right?" God if this works Tim's not sure if he's gonna cry or be happy. There is a hesitant grunt though so Tim takes it as it's working. "This is a sensitive case, it's also very difficult, so let's just… take a break and come at it with fresh eyes, yeah?" A grunt and slight nod. Tim nearly breathes a sigh of relief, he can see several mistakes Bruce has already made. Tim will make sure to come back and fix it and hope Bruce won't remember what he put down.

Bruce goes to stand up and stumbles, probably from the hours of sitting down without any food or water. Either way, Tim hurries to catch him and almost falling over with his weight. Thankfully the training Tim's been through accounted for carrying someone far heavier than he is, so Tim is able to get Bruce up to the Manor and sat down at a table while Tim makes him some soup. He's not exactly great at cooking but if he has a recipe he can make it vaguely good, and thankfully canned soup is easy to make.

He sets down a bowl of soup and some water in front of Bruce and sits across from him to make sure he eats it all. He narrows his eyes at Bruce as he goes to push the bowl away and stand up. "You haven't eaten it all." An annoyed grunt. "You need to eat a good amount to keep up with patrols." Irritated grunt. "Five more bites? Please, Bruce? Just five more, easy spoonfuls" Bruce begrudgingly grabs his spoon again ad eats the five more spoonfuls, even eating a sixth bite. "Thank you bud, just drink your water then you can rest and head back to the case." The nickname rips itself out of his mouth without warning, and Tim can see the moment that Bruce realizes what he called him and he's waiting for the yelling and…

Bruce stiffened and then relaxed. Looking far more tired than before. He drinks his water without any fuss (isn't that what parent's say about their kids..?) and slowly gets up, but waits for Tim to also stand up.

Tim's… not sure how he feels about this. On one hand Tim was 13, and Bruce was 40. On the other… Bruce was listening to Tim. He got Bruce to take care of himself (slightly) without issue.

Tim shoves the slightly uncomfortable part of him deep down. Bruce ate and drank water (not coffee!) it'd be selfish of Tim to not like that, right? He gets up and leads Bruce to his room and make sure he lays down before leaving.

He feels… weird. Very weird. He chalks the feeling to actually being in the manor for once. Normally he gets there and immediately heads to the cave, or sometimes forsakes the manor and heads in through a different entrance. Regardless he heads back down to the cave to fix the mistakes Bruce put down.

The look on Bruce's face when he called him bud is pushed into the back of his mind. Not gone though.

————————

Bruce was hit with a gas of some kind. Tim's not sure what kind it is, it's not fear toxin, that makes Bruce violent, and it's not Joker Gas cause… well Bruce isn't laughing. Bruce is however… timid. Quiet. Tim was able to get Bruce into the Bat-mobile with no issue thankfully, and Tim was able to stop the gas from spreading any more ad no one else was hit with it thankfully. The ride home is.. awkward. Bruce is in the passenger seat, trying to make himself look smaller. Tim doesn't have much time to focus on that though, too focused on making sure he gets them to the cave.

He feels so much relief when he sees the cave entrance and finally parks the Bat-mobile. "Alright Bruce, come on we need to find out what you were hit with." He makes sure his voice is soft. Since that day where he accidentally called Bruce 'bud' he found that Bruce… Reacted well to Tim 'parenting' him. The only things to work with Bruce have been Tim acting like Jason (Too dangerous. He runs the risk of Bruce realizing it wasn't a hallucination and getting violent at Tim for 'replacing Jason') and Tim parenting him.

Bruce slowly gets out of the car while holding onto Tim's hand which is… Odd. But not horrible surprisingly. Tim leads him over to the med-bay and sits him down (once again very odd. But then again everything about their relationship is odd now.) and grabs a syringe to take some of Bruce's blood for testing. They've done this plenty times there should be no issues and yet…

Bruce flinched. Batman flinched. Tim ignores the sharp pain of something that hit him. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm just gonna take a little blood, it'll be quick I promise, okay chum?" Tim did it again. He's heard Bruce call Dick that a couple times during their good days. He's overheard him call Jason that countless times when Jason was alive. He did it out of instinct (instinct? Why was it instinct to call Bruce the pet name he calls his sons?) and now Bruce is gonna yell and-

"..Okay." Bruce voiced out softly. Which sounds wrong out of him but… Tim just feels glad. Tim slowly but quickly takes the blood sample. He puts a band-aid on the spot, feeling every bit like a doctor giving a child a shot.

"You did great, thank you Bruce." Tim goes to move and start tests, wanting this done as soon as possible and then…

"Don't go." Bruce's voice calls out. Sounding weak, and soft, and everything Batman shouldn't. "…please."

Tim hesitates slightly, he really should start testing but… "Okay. I'll stay here for a bit longer." How can he just leave when Bruce is asking him to stay? He's never been asked to stay somewhere. Never been wanted somewhere.

"…thank you, dad." That seals it. Tim isn't his son. He could never be his son. He doesn't hesitate this time.

"Of course, chum."

———————

Tim's settled into his role in the family perfectly. He knows exactly who each of the members need him to be.

Dick needs him to be his little brother he can always go to to cuddle, Jason likes him best when he's unable to take care of himself, Cass likes him (which is weird and Tim is honestly still not sure exactly how to do that but he thinks he has a handle on it now), Damian likes it best when Tim is standoffish, Steph likes chaos Tim, Duke enjoys Tim when he helps him with homework and plays games, Babs likes competent Tim.

Alfred likes the Tim that takes care of Bruce. He likes Caretaker Tim. (When did Tim stop hating that fact..?)

Bruce… Likes Dad Tim. That Tim is reserved for Bruce. It makes Tim feel so many things. It's weird, he knows that, and it leaves a weird feeling in him that lasts for days but it also… makes Tim feel needed.

Robin was taken from him. For a bit he thought that meant he wasn't needed. He forgot he does something that none of the others could do. As long as Bruce still needs it he won't let Tim go. Not when he's still a child who needs his dad.

The others wouldn't understand. They already don't understand how Tim can get Bruce to actually care for himself.

He still remembers when he benched Batman. He could see the others think he was about to get scolded, or benched himself, or just thinking it was funny. The utter confusion when Bruce just grumbled about not needing to be benched but accepting it replays in his mind months later, he wishes he had a picture of it.

He knows they wouldn't understand. He's well aware. Just like Bruce knows. That's why they make sure no one is near to hear Tim call Bruce 'Chum' or to hear Bruce call Tim 'Dad'. They wouldn't understand.

It's not weird though. It doesn't matter that it's very similar to the cases Bruce specifically keeps away from Tim. It's different, those ones were weird, those kids never asked to be their parent's parent.

Besides Tim was never Bruce's son.

Dick is Bruce's son, Jason is Bruce's son, Damian is Bruce's son, Cass is Bruce's daughter, Bruce is Tim's son.

#tim drake #batfamily #bruce wayne #tim drake needs a hug #parentified tim drake #bruce kinda sucks here #also bruce specifically keeping cases from tim cause they’re similar to their own relationship #and not wanting to risk tim leaving #even though tim knows exactly how fucked up it is #this is also on ao3

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walkingstackofbooks · 1 month ago

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"Come on, tell me what's up."

Jadzia was supposedly sitting with Julian in Quark's to have a long-overdue gossip with her friend, but after a few minutes of pleasant chatter, Julian had gone silent, and Jadzia was tired of waiting for him to volunteer what had happened.

Julian blinked, peering up at her over his screen as though he'd entirely forgotten she was there. "Sorry... what?" he asked slowly.

"You've been staring at your PADD, biting your lip, ever since you got that message? What was it?"

Julian's answering sigh was decidedly world-weary for someone who had yet to turn thirty. "Oh, nothing," he said, waving her off. "Just... Well. The commander's invited me to dinner on Thursday."

In Jadzia's books, being cooked for by Benjamin did not deserve Julian's despondency. "And that's bad because...?"

"It's not bad! Of course it isn't, it's nice to be asked, I'm- I'm looking forward to it--"

"You're an awful liar, Julian."

He grimaced at her. "Okay, I was looking forward to it. But then he sent me this and, I don't know, Jadzia - okay, he means well, but I'm not sure I can face it."

Jadzia looked at the message displayed on the PADD. >>I'm deciding what to cook for Thursday. I know you're not a fan of beets, are there any other foods you don't like?<< it said, giving her no clue at all as to why Julian was suddenly so anxious.

"Seems normal enough to me," she remarked. "What's the problem?"

That clearly had been the wrong question to ask. Looking away from her, Julian leant back against the chair, almost seeming to shrink as he pulled his shoulders into himself.

"I know it's stupid, and I should be more grown-up about it, but I just, I don't..." He reached over to take the PADD back, and started to stare at it again, as if the message contained some secret code that Jadzia was unaware of. His fingers were tapping a rapid pattern against the metal, and Jadzia's brain was working overtime to try and figure out what her friend was so anxious about.

"Come on, Julian, I can't help if you don't tell me what's bothering you."

Taking a deep breath, Julian looked up at Jadzia seriously. "Should I lie to him?" he asked in one quick breath, so earnestly that Jadzia had to lean over and reread the message, certain she must have missed something.

"Lie to him about what?" she asked, having assured herself that yes, Benjamin's question had been completely innocuous. "About what you don't like to eat?"

"Well, yeah..." Julian said quietly, shrugging. "Would that be so wrong?"

Understanding filtered through Jadzia's mind, and she reached out to squeeze Julian's arm. "You don't need to be embarrassed that you don't like some foods," she said, smiling gently. "Benjamin's not going to judge you for it."

"Even when I can't eat the dinner he cooks?" Julian responded sourly, snatching his arm away. "It won't matter what he does with them, I can't eat beets, Jadzia, I just can't."

Her eyes narrowed, and she looked at him coldly. "Hold up, are you saying that you think Benjamin wants to make you a dinner that you don't like?"

Julian frowned at her. "Well... no... He wants to make me like it, right? That whole dad-thing of changing my mind about beets and stuff, like that's never been tried before."

For a few seconds, words deserted Jadzia; all she could do was shaker her head at Julian in confused disdain. "Why would you think Benjamin would be so deliberately cruel?" she asked eventually. "It's not like he forced them on you at the staff dinner, we all saw your reaction. Why would you assume he's not simply asking you so that he can avoid cooking something you dislike?"

Now it was Julian's turn to stare wordlessly at Jadzia, his shoulders slackening as he processed what she had said. A few moments later, and his eyes had returned to the PADD once more, running over those few lines of text more times than Jadzia thought was really necessary.

"You really think that's what he meant?" he asked, scowling at the screen. "I guess... I guess that would make sense..."

Jadzia rolled her eyes. "Of course that's what he meant," she said. "Although if you really need confirmation I can always ask him."

"No!" Julian's head shot up to look at her, his eyes wide. "No, you don't need to do that, Jadzia - I'm just tired, I just read it wrong, that's all... You- you don't need to tell him about this. Please?"

"There's really nothing to be worried about, Julian," she scoffed. "You know he'd probably laugh it off--" Julian sent her a look of sheer panic, and she held her hands up placatingly. "...but no, I won't tell him anything, okay?" she continued quickly. "How much sleep did you get last night, anyway? You're really not acting like yourself."

Julian shrugged. "Not enough, evidently," he muttered, packing his PADD away in his bag and standing up. "Thanks, anyway, Jadzia," he said, smiling at her in that awkward, uncertain way of his. "I'm going to head back to my quarters now, I think."

"That's probably for the best," Jadzia agreed. "Get some rest. Tomorrow it's my turn to be the tired one."

"Funny," replied Julian dryly. He fiddled with his bag strap, seemingly reluctant to leave.

"Are you going?"

"Yeah, I just... Jadzia, you know I didn't mean anything- I mean, I wasn't trying to imply that I thought Sisko is, you know, cruel, or whatever, right? It was only that... Well, I thought- Well, no, I wasn't thinking--"

"Go to bed," Jadzia laughed, cutting him off. "You are thinking way too much right now. I'm still not sure how that idea crossed your mind, but clearly you're too tired to be coherent right now. I'm sorry I was cross, okay?"

"It's okay," said Julian quickly. "I was being stupid anyway."

"Just a bit," she replied, smiling at him fondly. "But then, I guess that's just you."

"Yeah. Just silly old me."

As he walked away, Jadzia felt a prickle of unease reach across her chest; Julian's smile had still not reached his eyes, and she wondered if her joke had been in good taste, given how anxious Julian apparently became when sleep-deprived. But she shrugged it off, reaching for her surprisingly untouched drink. If Julian was still in low spirits tomorrow, she'd apologise, but most likely a decent night's sleep would restore his normal good mood. There was no reason to worry.

#Julian Bashir #Jadzia Dax #Richard and Amsha's A++ parenting #implied child abuse #This has been sitting in my drafts for an AGE waiting for me to write the other scenes that are in my head #so an actual comfort resolution could be reached #but motivation is so dead right now for everything so imma just put it out there and we'll see if anything more gets done in the future ...#andi writes #wsb

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memorabxlia · 4 days ago

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Fighting for Love ━ 이한

genre: fluff, angst summary: req by @minkilicious warnings: language, toxicity, switches pov, very angsty, mentions food pairing: idol!leehan x fem!reader wc: 1.6k a/n: reposted from my old blog and personally a favorite of mine nets: @blossomnet

You never expected to meet someone like Leehan, he was your perfect match in every way. You met through a mutual friend's get-together, you were instantly drawn to his kind and caring nature, while he was drawn to your drive and ambition. You quickly became inseparable, often alternating hanging out at each other's places.��

However, as your relationship progressed, you noticed that Leehan could be quite possessive and controlling at times. You brushed it off as his way of showing love and didn't want to cause any conflict between you. You also noticed that he would often become distant and moody, but you attributed it to his stressful job as an idol.

The sunlight peeked through the curtains and landed on your face, gently waking you up from your slumber. As you slowly opened your eyes, you couldn't help but smile at the familiar surroundings of Leehan's room.

You stretched your arms above your head, feeling the warmth of the soft sheets against your skin. Leehan was still sound asleep next to you, his unruly hair sticking out in all directions. You couldn't resist running your fingers through it, making him shift and mumble in his sleep.

You took a moment to wake up and you couldn't shake the feeling like something was off. You tried to brush off the feeling and just enjoy your day together. After all, you had planned a romantic picnic in the park. However, as you got ready and headed out, You couldn't shake the strange sensation that had been lingering since you woke up.

As you drove to the park, You noticed Leehan's hands gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than usual. He seemed more tense and lost in thought, not his usual cheerful self. But when you asked him if anything was bothering him, he just smiled and said he was fine.

You decided to let it go and enjoy your picnic. Yet, throughout the day, You couldn't help but notice more and more changes in Leehan's behavior. He was quieter than usual, and his smile seemed forced. He didn't seem interested in the things you used to love doing together, like taking walks or having deep conversations.

As the sun began to set, you made your way back home. Leehan insisted on cooking dinner, something he rarely did. But even as you sat down to eat, he barely touched his food and kept glancing at his phone. You could feel that something was bothering him, and you couldn't stay silent any longer.

'Hey, Leehan. Can we talk for a minute?' you said, making him look up from his phone.

'What now?' he sighs.

'I just wanted to check in and see if everything is okay. You've been easily irritated all day.' you said trying to figure out your boyfriend.

'Oh my god, you're so nosy. He snaps at you.

You snap back at him, eyebrows furrowing. 'I'm just trying to understand what's bothering you.'

'It's none of your damn business, that's what's bothering me! Can't you just leave me alone?' he sighs again, getting irritated at your prying.

'But I care about you and I want to help if something is bothering you. you say voice cracking slightly.

'You wouldn't understand,' he says.

'How can I know if you don't tell me?' you try to reason with him.

'Just drop it, okay? I don't need you constantly breathing down my neck.' he said. you take a deep breath trying to keep the tears at bay.

'I'm not trying to be nosy, I just want to make sure everything is okay between us.'

'Everything is fine, okay? Can we just drop it and move on?'

'Leehan, please tell me what's wrong. I won't judge you.' you say wholeheartedly.

'You want to know the truth? I'm fucking sick of you always trying to fix everything. Can't you just let me be in a bad mood without fucking interrogating me every damn time? he says suddenly raising his voice. you jump back in surprise, not used to him raising his voice at you.

"How am I to know you were in a "bad mood" if you don't fucking tell me, I thought we were on the same page when it came to communicating how we feel but apparently not.'

Rolling his eyes he says. 'I can't deal with this right now.'

'You can't deal with this? You? We wouldn't be having this conversation if you knew how to fucking communicate better! you snapped, thoroughly getting tired of his bullshit.

He yells back. 'We wouldn't be having this conversation if you would just let me be!'

He huffs. 'I'm leaving-' you cut him off.

'No, I'm leaving, I need some space. I don't know what crawled up your ass this morning but before you call or text me your attitude might want to change and if not you can kiss this relationship goodbye. You grab your bag and keys leaving to your place, tears streaming down your face trying to process everything that just went on. You didn't want to cause an argument, but maybe you had pushed him too far. You just hoped that he would come back and talk to you, so you could figure things out.

*Leehan's POV*

As I sat alone in my room, staring at the blank walls, I couldn't help but feel a deep sense of regret wash over me. It had been a week since Y/n and I had that huge fight, and she had stormed out of my apartment in tears. I had been so caught up in my own problems and stress that I didn't even notice how much I had been neglecting her.

Y/n had been my girlfriend for 5 months now, and I had always taken her for granted. I never truly appreciated her or showed her how much she meant to me. But now, as I sat here alone, I realized how much I had hurt her with my careless words and actions.

I remembered all the times she had been there for me, through my highs and lows, and how I had never truly reciprocated that love and support. I had been too selfish to see what mattered, and now I was paying the price.

I picked up my keys and drove to her house, hoping she would be there. After a few knocks, almost giving up, she finally opened the door, her voice sounding distant and cold. 'What are you doing here?'

'Y/n, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know I've been a terrible boyfriend, and I regret every hurtful thing I said to you. I promise to make it up to you and show you how much you mean to me.'

She folds her arms and says 'It's not just about what you said, Leehan. It's about how you've been acting towards me. I thought you were my boyfriend not one of your friends.'

'I am your boyfriend, y/n. I've just been going through some personal stuff and I took it out on you. I know that's not an excuse, but I hope you can forgive me.

Her face softens. I do forgive you, but I need to know that you'll communicate with me whenever you have a bad day or just need to rant about something.

'I promise I will. You mean a lot to me, Y/N, and I don't want to lose you over something stupid like that.' I said, holding her close.

As we stood there, in each other's arms. I knew that I had been given a second chance, a chance to make things right and to show Y/N how much she meant to me.

Over the next few weeks, I put in effort to show Y/n how much she meant to me. I planned romantic dates, surprised her with small gifts, and most importantly, I listened to her. I listened to her fears, her dreams, and her thoughts, and I realized how much I had been missing out on.

Slowly but surely, Y/n began to open up to me again. We talked about our fight, and I apologized once more, promising to never take her for granted again.

As I sit here now, with Y/n by my side, I can't help but feel grateful for the fight that brought us closer. It made me realize how much she truly meant to me and how lucky I am to have her in my life.

From that day on, I made a promise to always cherish and appreciate Y/n, and I knew that I would never let her go again.

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red-steampunk · 5 months ago

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Things the five MCs 5 not allowed to do:

MC1-(Summoners) from Shiro & Toji

1- A stunned moment of silence means "My God, what have you done?" Not "please continue."

2- You're not allowed to skip class and meet up with Tetsuox to beat up weaker delinquents who are on both of your Guilds turf.

3- Stop "accidentally" spilling food all over Marduk, just because you think his dragon eating him is funny. Nobody wants to see that. lt's gross and awkward.

4- All though Surtr & Bablon both appreciate the somewhat kind gesture, please stop beating anyone who deliberately calls Bablon by her other "name."

5- Stop flirting with Jugo when he's in the middle of practice or egging on Orochi to rip Jugo's clothes off during practice.

6- Stop waking up Shennong in the middle of the night for breast milk. He's poisonous, you little gremlin.

7- Just like Ryota, you're not allowed to cook anything inside of the kitchen without supervision. Choji still refuses to speak to you after you created that abomination.

8- You're no longer allowed to play unwinnable games or play Mario Kart with Ahura Mazda. You knew what you were doing with that Blue Shell.

9- A lot of the outfits in Tokyo are "very revealing" were asking you nicely to stop referring it to a "pussy out" look.

10- You're no longer allowed to make an Only Fans for extra Guild money. Bribing the staff won't work again.

---

MC2-(Missionaries) from Jacob & Maria

1- Whenever you're gaming with Tsathoggua and the others again, please refrain from saying, "How about I f*ck you're dad and give him a son he'll actually love" to sexist individuals. We got a ton of angry calls from parents across Tokyo from your live streams with Tindalos.

2- Stop telling Temujin that you'd rather get knocked up by Ulaan. Temujin wouldn't leave the property because he was angry looking for you in a fit of rage. Quit giving Maria grey hairs. No one wants him here.

3- Whenever you're having your girls' night, avoid going to places that are usually filled with rude men from now on. We'd appreciate it if you,Hekate,Ellie,Melusine and etc. Would stop looking for fights.

4- Stop calling Hati a simp, he apologized for being manipulated by Nyarl.

5- Stop trying to hook up Nyarl and Zabaniyya. Nyarl doesn't mind, but Zab most certainly does.

6- Stop calling Tezcatlopica, Balor's bottom bitch. I don't care how funny you and Tanetomo think it is.

7- Stop pretending to drown, just so you can either Makara or Gurangatch perform CPR on you. They're both worried about losing you forever. And I know you didn't enjoy it when Fuxi did it that one time instead, maybe that'll teach you a lesson on pretending to drown is bad, m'kay.

8- Stop taking naps on Arsalan, I know he doesn't mind, but I hate having to wash your clothes more than I should because they're covered in oil.

9- Stop letting Ellie drink your blood. I don't care how much you both enjoy it. The angels didn't like seeing that. They think it's gross.

10- I know about you and Azazel search history. Please delete that, and I mean ALL of it. I'll give you three Tickets if you do.

---

MC3-(Berserkers) from Snow.

1- I'd appreciate it if you didn't always clothesline people who either accidentally or deliberately speak inappropriately in front of Echo.

2- Please be careful whenever you're complimenting or flirting with with Cthuga again. You caused him to create a massive forest fire near Chernobog's Moutain, and you're both lucky the authorities haven't found out about it yet, thanks to Claude covering for you.

3- Garmr is not your personal attack dog, and he's not allowed to sleep in your room anymore. His howling is too much, especially at night.

4- No, I won't tell you where the milk from came from. It's a secret.

5- Stop giving Claude dumb ideas for events. Please come to me first for any ideas you have in mind from now.

6- Just because you can doesn't mean you should. And just because you should doesn't mean you can.

7- No ice cream sandwiches inside of the toasters. I don't care if you and Bathym managed to get Ikutoshi to laugh because of the result of it. It wasn't worth it.

8- Asking Belphegor to "clean out your pipes" is right out, when his shift is over. You stop that. Let him rest.

9- Stop calling yourself Tokyo's Hottest Himbo. Echo won't stop repeating it.

10- If you,Bathym, and Cthugha would find somewhere to smoke a "joint," then I'd stop dousing you with water. We don't need you stinking up the place. Maybe that'll teach you that doing drugs is bad, m'kay?

---

MC4- (Tycoons) from Gyumao

1- Even though I appreciate you as my business partner. Please stop complimenting the employees so frequently. They're fishing for your favoritism now.

2- Shino and Choji aren't allowed to get special treatment from me. I know you love them a lot, but I have Barguest and Snow. I need to treat them like that. When you start your own business, then you can spoil them. Other than that, refrain from asking.

3- I appreciate you calling me your dad, but please don't call me "Big Daddy" it's embarrassing, especially in front of our employees.

4- Please stop joining in the fights with the other head Tycoons. Stuff around here is expensive.

5- Licht isn't allowed to paint you naked anymore, thanks to a certain fight breaking out at the museum because everyone wanted to steal that painting of you.

6- We're allowing you to keep all that money you won, but you're not allowed to use anything at the Casino anymore. Your luck at the slot machines and gambling is unnatural, and we don't want to make others think you're cheating.

7- Stop sleeping around with your besties at the same time, you're all loud as hell, Bohemio and Sanzo are rubbing off on you.

8- Unless you actually plan on adopting them, stop referring the 8 Dog Warriors as my grandchildren. I already had Yoshito,Yasuyori, and Mussashi call me gramps. I don't like feeling old.

9- No, we are not doing a Maid Café, Melusine thinks it's degrading. And it doesn't matter what the other maids think because they'll just blindly agree with you.

10- No, you can't suck on my breath for milk just because you're too lazy to go downstairs and get some milk in the fridge. And stop asking Barguest if either my milk or Snow's milk tastes better. It's inappropriate... It's his.

10- Stop calling Korpokkur and Micheal a "lying little abortions" I can't risk having my business partner get canceled for insulting ageless children.

---

MC5- (Outlaws) from Gyobu

1- Even though we know Ryota is completely harmless and means well. Please let us know when he's coming over, Tetsuya still gets upset when you invite him over.

2- I know how much you hate Fuxi and the World Reps in general compared to your siblings. But please stop calling the Cops on our turf to arrest him because he broke into your room. We can handle it ourselves. We're meant to help you.

3- Please don't ever point out how all of the Outlaws have friends outside of the Guild who frequently visit unannounced. Tetsuya clearly didn't appreciate that being pointed out to him.

4- Marchiosias doesn't want Ellie following you to the Gurus Guild because he's very adamant about it, too. So please carefully watch your surroundings. She has a habit of following you. Same with the Summoners Guild.

5- You're not allowed to sneak over at the Warmonger's base to leave multiple cardboard cutouts of Yoshitune surrounding Yoritomo, just so he can suffer from a massive panic attack... again.

6- You deserve getting punched in the face for calling Suzuka a tsundere. She's your friend who asks to be treated with respect, please treat her accordingly.

7- Please stop making passive-aggressive comments to rude customers. We still appreciate you making everyone laugh because of it, but we don't need bad reviews.

8- Tsukuyomi appreciates you being his brother, stop coming up with fancy names for him. They're dumb regardless of what he thinks. You can still call him "Moon Man"

9- Just because Tetsuox calls you boss doesn't mean you should pay him, he already has a job.

10- Stop calling me your dad just because I'm dating Marchiosias. I already have 808 kids plus his child. I'm not sure I'm ready for a trouble magnet like you.

---

All Five from Mr. Mononobe

1- Please calm down and stop being extremely hostile towards Christine, I don't prefer her over you five. Same with Kirito.

2- No, I'm not paying for any of future weddings. You guys have an alarming number of people you're dating. Especially MC2 and MC4.

3- I appreciate you guys treating Furufumi as a seventh sibling, but maybe hang out with one or two at a time. He's still not comfortable hanging out with all of you at once.

4- Even though they deserve it, stop manipulating and gaslighting the Worlds Reps by using any information you have of the Exiles. I don't care if Micheal,Tez or Perun deserve it.

5- I swear, if I get another noise complaint from you're respective neighbors, because you five don't know how to keep your legs closed.

6- No, I won't ever make duplicates of Lil' Salomon. I know you love him. He does appreciate that you guys like him that much.

7- Hearing anyone make a racist comment directed to any of your friends isn't an excuse to jump them at once.

8- I'm not abusing my power to eliminate all of the World Reps at once, I have rules against me for that.

9- Stop trying to get me another romantic partner. Chernobog is great as is, I'm not you five. I have standards.

10- Once you five do finally graduate, then I'll allow you to drink with me. Just don't let anyone else know. Other than that, stop asking asking to go to the bar with me and the other teachers.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #mc1 #mc2 #mc3 #mc4 #mc5

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