#That Leave Them Very Little Room For Having A Life Or Friends Or-In Simone's Case-FUCKING GRIEVING

[authoralexharvey]

In a way, this book is being wrote out of order because, while I'm in the middle of this scene that is in the last chapters of this book, I've realized this scene (and, by extension, the themes it's touching on) will be much better served earlier on in the story.

Ah, well. That's why rewrites exist, right?

[bobbyseyesmile]

Pride an Passion | 2

Chapter 2

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“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, please forgive me” Too late, blood soaking the fabric, dead brown eyes starring in your soul. It was your fault. “No, please don’t leave me, I can’t lose you!” “Y/N!” Screams echoing, ripping through the thick air, ringing in the ears, blurred vision. It was all your fault.

Your eyes shot open, starring at a dirty-grey ceiling, not knowing where you were or what happened. Your brain was trying so hard to protect you from possible damage and trauma from all that had occurred in the last hours but it slowly creeped its way back into your mind. Abraham was dead. Your friends and family brutally beaten up before the saviors finally let them go but at least they lived. Even if it was just for another day. A knock on the door startled you out of your thoughts. Unsure if you wanted to answer the door you waited, hoping they would eventually go away.

“Y/N? It’s me, Dwight. Open the door, I have food and water here.” You heard about Dwight from Daryl and what he did, officially meeting him for the first time yesterday when the Saviors cornered you. You hesitantly opened the door but only for a tiny gap, making sure it was indeed Dwight instead of Negan or someone else.

“Here’s the food.” he handed it over to you after you finally opened the door as a whole. “Negan wants to see you as soon as your finished with eating, just go down the hallway and then left, he will wait there for you.”

“I really want to be alone for a while...” you spoke softly but he already started walking away.

“You have 15 minutes to eat. Better hurry, he hates to wait.”

After that you closed and locked the door and put the food on a small table beside your bed. It was some salad, a bagel and a bottle of water but you weren’t hungry. Even though you hadn’t eaten normally in a few days. Food rations in Alexandria were scarce, so every food your dad brought home, you shared with Judith and Carl before taking a small portion for yourself. You knew you had to eat, energy was well needed in case of a fight or walker attack.

Deciding you didn’t want Negan’s food or whatever peace offering it should be, you walked out of your room, following Dwight’s directions.

When Negan saw you again, he tried very hard to hide is excitement, not wanting to show that you had him wrapped around your fucking little finger. Maybe someday he would tell ya, but for now he needed you for other things and mostly of all, he had to concentrate on his plan instead is throbbing dick inside his pants.

“Well, hello again, sweetheart.” he murmured and gave you his best smile. “Great seeing you awake and shit. How did ya sleep?”

“How did I get here?” you asked, ignoring his previous question. “I can’t remember what happened after yesterday.”

“You tried to scratch my fucking eyes out after I hit your daddy and brother with my precious Lucille. Guess you had a little struggle with Simon and his hand met your gorgeous face.” he clicked his tongue in amusement when he saw your annoyed face.

“Ah, I see, hitting women gets you people off.”

“C’mon doll, I fucking hate violence towards women and I did not appreciate Simon’s way of handling the fucking situation but shit! You're a little force of nature, ain't ya? Bet I couldn’t tame ya even if I wanted to. But we’ll see about that, huh?”

You felt your cheeks getting hot and quickly turned away which made his stupid smirk even bigger.

“Tell me, doll, when you agreed being my wife, what shot through that beautiful little head of yours? Did ya imagine what life would be beside me, hm? Or did ya imagine yourself screaming my name while I take my sweet fucking time with ya? Because I did.”

You clenched your jaw and looked him straight in the eyes. “I imagined killing you with your own stupid bat while you sleep, asshole.”

“Tsk tsk tsk...” he took your chin between his fingers, giving it a tight but not hurtful grip “What a dirty ass mouth you got there, Miss Grimes. I’ll think I’ll have to put it to a good use to teach you a lesson or two.”

“Hmm, so you’re going to rape me? That’s the way of showing me how big and bad you are?” You were glad your voice sounded stronger than you felt- the truth was you were absolutely terrified of what he would do to you. All the more you were surprised when you heard his following words:

“No fucking way, babygirl. I would never lay a hand on you, never force myself on you. But it will be worse for ya: You will beg me to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours. You’ll crave my dick so bad, begging me to finally give it to ya, finally pounding in ya till you lose your voice of screaming my name. And after all that, you’ll fucking thank me for it.”

His big body hovered over you, shoving you in the nearest wall while his lips were just inches from yours.

“Cat got your tongue, doll?”

“F-fuck you!” you wanted to yell it but it was merely a whisper.

“Didn’t even touch ya, yet you’re still breathless, huh? Damn, babygirl, you got me already hard and shit. If ya ask me really nicely I’ll fuck ya right here, right now to give ya a little taste.”

“D-don’t touch me...” you gave him a little nudge and he took a step back, his hands in the air while he laughed huskily.

“Alright, alright. I won’t touch ya again. Not until you fucking beg me.”

“Not happening...” you muttered and turned away, hoping he didn’t notice how much you were turned on. The last man talking to you like that was your first and last love and with his death you’re interest in other men died with him. Until now.

Negan had a weird impact on you- mostly your area between your legs. But you wouldn’t give into him. First of all, he was the enemy and murdered one of your friends. Second, you still grieved the loss of your former lover and couldn’t imagine ever being intimate with another man again.

Of course, your dad didn’t know all that. For him you were his perfect daughter, innocent and sweet. He never found out that you were having an affair with his former best friend and most of all, no one knew that it was you who had killed him.

“So anyways doll, I’ll give ya the grand tour through our amazing Sanctuary. Follow me.” Negan didn’t wait and see if you’d really follow him, he knew you would because what other choice did you have. Agreeing to become his wife, or whatever the hell that meant, was just the beginning, he probably had a lot more tasks fore you instead of just looking pretty.

You entered a big hall, filled with other people: Ones had guns and what looked like normal clothing, the other ones wore all the same and ran around- made the scene in front of you look like one giant ant hill. When Negan and you entered, they all dropped to their knees almost instantly and starred at him.

“What the…” you whispered to yourself and starred down in disbelieve. Was this some kind of cult?

“People-“ Negan opened his speech and started slandering down the stairs “It is my great fucking pleasure do announce a new member of our community: This hella-good-looking lady right there agreed to become my wife so I’d say this screams for a big fucking celebration.” Negan turned around to face you and grinned at your bewildered expression. He suddenly pointed his bat at a random person and asked: “Who are you?”

“I’m Negan.”

You scoffed and almost couldn’t hold back your laughter. How cringe.

“First lesson, doll. If you’re asked who you are, you answer with-?” He pointed his bat at you and waited. All eyes were on you, a weird tension spreading in the room making everyone uncomfortable in their place.

Of course, you knew what he wanted to hear, you weren’t stupid after all. But you also weren’t a manipulated and obviously brain-dead person. “The fuck I will.”

No one said a word, not even a gasp. The silence was so thick, you could have cut through it with a knife. Dwight’s look caught your eyes, you weren’t sure what it meant but Simon beside him threw daggers across the room with his eyes. If looks could kill.

“I knew it wouldn’t be that easy but it was worth a fucking try.” Negan’s shot you a small smirk before turning around to face his people “This one will be an example for all of us, just wait and see. Before then, let’s get back to fucking work.”

Negan took you to his room at the end of the tour, presenting you a more than spacious bedroom with a big glass front. You stood in the middle of it, nervous about what would happen next. Yeah, he said he wouldn’t force himself upon you or touch you again, but you didn’t trust him. He was a crazy psychopath with a barbed wired bat. What else was there to say?

“Well, sweetheart-“ he stood behind you, his breath tickling your ear but he didn’t touch you “Today you learned your very first rule of this place and I want to make sure that you fucking got it. So lemme ask ya: Who are you?”

“Y/N.” you answered and a shiver ran down your spine when he chuckled in your ear.

“Is that so?”

You turned around and took a step away from him. “I agreed to come here to save my people, I’ll be your stupid wife or whatever kinky shit that is but I won’t kneel in front of you, I am not Negan or whatever bullshit cult you built. So whatever punishment that means for me- I’m ready.”

Negan nodded in amusement. “Damn girl, you got a big ass mouth, ya know that? You’re just like your daddy, which is a big no-no for me. I don’t like him or his stupid face. He thinks he’s the boss and shit but he ain’t nothing, ya hear me doll? Your daddy gets his ass whopped by yours truly and he’ll even thank me for it. So, I get that you’re a big and brave girl but fuck, you really think I’ll punish ya with some kinky sex you clearly don’t want and maybe beat ya up a little bit? That what you think of me?”

“I don’t care what it is, let’s just get it over with…”

“Nah, honey. I’ll take my time with your punishment and you don’t have to worry- I already told ya I won’t touch ya again, not a single-strand of your beautiful hair gets damaged. Ya know, punishment isn’t always physical-“ his grin grew wider “…sometimes it’s psychological. So tell me again you won’t do what I ask of you if I bash your daddy’s head in.”

You gulped. Dammit. This man would kill every person you cared for and probably wouldn't even bat an eyelash while doing it. Psycho.

“So do we have a fucking understanding in this particular?” the grin was gone, his expression serious and cold, waiting for your final answer.

“Yes.”

“Great fucking talk then. Now get lost, I’ll have a meeting. I’ll see ya later, doll.”

You walked out of his room where Dwight leaned against a wall, he started silently walking in front of you to bring you back to your room. Maybe this was harder than you expected. Maybe you really would lose yourself in this madhouse. Or maybe there was nothing else left to lose.

Taglist: @toxic-ink (if you want to be added, pls let me know)

[girls-are-weird]

a fragment

so... i wrote this short fragment of a scene ages ago... maybe a month or so after YR S2 premiered, when i was trying to wrap my head around what i wanted S3 to be like or what i thought would happen in it-- either/or. i'm not sure.

i wanted to write it early on in the break, before the real S3 came and jossed it, but although i had some idea of the beats i wanted to hit, i was never able to fully crack the plot, and now that S3 is firmly in postprod territory, i realize i probably won't have time to write the full thing. but i think it's a pretty good piece of writing, and i don't want it to just languish in my hard drive without anybody ever reading it, so i figured i might as well put it out there just for kicks.

you don't get much of the plot in it-- it's just 650 words of wille complaining about being grounded at drottningholm-- but the gist of the fic was going to be: sara runs away after telling the police about what august did, her family thinks she's missing and the police starts searching for her, august gets arrested but he promises to not implicate simon with the drugs as long as the crown puts all of its resources into the search, wille demands to be allowed to stand with simon and linda during public appearances to support them/give the case more visibility, and eventually they get a tip from the public that leads them to sara alive and well in some other city she ran away to because she couldn't take the guilt of what she did to her brother. they all make up. august goes to jail. something something happy ending. your guess is as good as mine. xD

anyway, here's the little snippet i did manage to write. it was supposed to be the very beginning of the fic. hope you like!

Four days Wilhelm spent by himself at Drottningholm, completely disconnected from the outside world and without a clue as to what was happening with Simon or any of his friends at Hillerska. His mother had confiscated his phone before leaving the school that day; his computer was presumably still at Hillerska or elsewhere with the rest of his belongings, which hadn't been returned to him as of yet. He could watch tv in the family lounge but all they were doing was speculating about his sexuality and his relationship with Simon without any response from the Crown, and that only made him even more anxious, so he'd given up on the news altogether. His parents' room and offices had been unused and locked for the past four days so there was no way he could use their desk phones even if he knew how to do that (which he didn't), and the entire house staff had been instructed not to lend him theirs no matter how much he begged. Labor contracts and NDAs outweighed pity when it came to the palace staff, unfortunately.

He hadn't even heard from his parents, who had probably spent the past few days at the Royal Palace dealing with the fallout, and his only interaction with another human being other than the house staff was his one daily check-in with Minou. He was sure his mother had done that on purpose because Minou was the "nice" one— Farima would've gotten a door slammed in her face, and Jan-Olof better not show his face around Wilhelm any time soon if he valued his life at all. But even though polite, Minou was still loyal to the Queen, and the most Wille had gotten out of her was that the team was figuring out how to proceed after his reveal at the jubilee and he should stay out of the public eye until further notice.

Not for the first time, he cursed having to live in a place watched over by the Royal Guard; their job was just as much to keep him in as it was to keep intruders out. He swore he'd haunted the palace like an 18th-century ghost, pacing trenches in every carpet to be found within the 162 hectares of the property in search of some exit that would allow him to get outside undetected and maybe hail a cab or jump on a bus— fuck, at this point he'd even try and hitchhike back to Bjärstad, even though every horror movie in history warned against doing that.

But even that was a no-go. Every known exit to the building had at least one guard posted outside of it, and he was certain he'd be bodily brought back inside if he so much as poked the tips of his toes beyond any external doorway. By this point, he'd even begun contemplating the physics of jumping out a window, but he'd concluded there wasn't one that was close enough to the lake that he could fall into it and maybe, with some luck, not break every bone in his body.

This had to be some kind of kidnapping, right? Except even if it was, he was screwed because his captor just happened to be the queen of the fucking country, who probably couldn't even be charged with a crime— he wasn't sure; he'd never asked. Erik would probably know, but that was… a whole separate issue, wasn't it? And even if he raised a stink about neglect or something along those lines, he was nearly seventeen, not seven, and nobody would buy it, anyway, because the place he was being held captive in happened to be a bloody palace with a whole fleet of servants at the ready to attend to his every need.

Except when that need happened to be talking to the boy he loved.

[muzawrites]

Carrying On (Jay Park Mafia AU)

Summary: Its been said that in times of tragedy new relationships emerge and become stronger, when tragedy strikes we seek connection it is in our nature.  How does the loss of their father affect the relationship between Jay and his adopted sister, Amara. Does it strengthen it? Or does it reveal things which were once hidden?

AN:  This is the first story I’ve ever posted, constructive criticism is always welcome

Fifty-one.... fifty-two…. fifty-three…. fifty-four…. fifty-five… damn this is really not working. Why do they always make it seem like counting sheep helps you fall asleep? I checked the clock again- 12:05am. Sighing, I rolled over to the cooler side of my bed and let my mind wonder to the last 2 weeks, the worst 2 weeks of my life as far as I can remember. My adopted father and leader of the most powerful mafia clan in South Korea had passed away, leaving his only son Jae-beom (aka Jay) in charge of his empire.

I don’t remember too much from my childhood before I was adopted but from the snippets I do remember and what I’ve been told, it wasn’t good. I was found by Jay’s father going through garbage outside one of the restaurants the family owns at the age of 10, having been abandoned by my mother for being a mixed-race baby, I guess she couldn’t deal with having a half black half Korean child any longer. According Jay’s father I reminded him of the daughter he had lost a couple years prior when she and her mother (his wife/Jay’s mother) had falling ill and both passed away. In the back of my head I always felt like some sort of ‘replacement child’ for the daughter he had lost, even though he never made me feel like it, even Jay made me feel like his little sister even though it took a bit of time for him to get use to me as he was 16years old when I was “brought into the family” but over time we became very close, even naming me his co-right hand along with his best friend Simon. And of course he always took his role as the protective big brother a little too seriously with some of my boyfriends throughout high school and varsity. They would break up with me after a few weeks with either a broken nose or blackened eye.

I sighed and rolled over one more time before giving up and getting out of bed to make a cup of tea or something stronger to help me fall asleep. I threw a long silk robe over my sleep chemise to conserve some decency just in case one of the guards was roaming around. As I walked down the hall, I noticed Jay’s bedroom door slightly open with the light inside shining through. After softly knocked I pushed the door to find him sitting on the couch facing the fireplace with the coffee table filled with presumably work papers, “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” he asked without turning around, his full attention on the fire before him. “Shouldn’t you?” I rebutted as I grabbed the empty whiskey glass in his hand, walked over to the mini bar in his room to get him a refill and me a glass of his strongest whiskey on the rocks. He was still wearing the black slacks and black dress shirt he wore earlier in the day with the tie thrown somewhere in the room and his top two buttons undone.

“Seems we both can’t fall asleep huh” he said, as I handed him his glass. He mumbled a soft thanks as I sat down next to him. “Seems like” I replied leaning into his shoulder and staring into the flames with him. For some time, nothing could be heard but the fire crackling and the occasional clinking of ice against glass as we took sips of our drinks. “So, what happens now?” I asked, finally breaking the silence. He sighed, running his hand over his face. “In a few days, we meet with the heads of the families underneath us to continue business as usual” he answered, gulped down the rest of his drink and placed the glass on the side table as to not jolt me from his shoulder. “Can’t believe he’s gone” I whispered.

“Neither can I” he responded, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the back of the couch. Jay had been prepped to be the leader of the family organisation since he turned 13 and now at the age of 32, he was more than ready to take over and I had no doubt he would do great things in this position but the fact of our father’s passing was still heavy in our hearts. I gulped down the rest of my drink as well and placed my glass on coffee table. I stretched out my back and neck, unconsciously pushing my chest out against the silk of my robe. Long gone were the days of the scrawny little girl who first joined the family; I had grown into a woman with curves in all the right places, soft caramel skin which glowed under the light of the fire. From the corner of my eye, I notice Jay intensely watching me, not being able to decipher the look like I usually would be able to I pushed it aside.

“Can I have a hug?” I asked, giving him my best puppy dog eyes and pout. He chuckled while getting up and opening his arms up for me. I quickly jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck before he could change his mind. He wrapped his arms around my waist a bit lower than they usually would be. For some reason this hug felt different from every other hug we’ve shared, but still felt warm, safe and like home. “I’ll never let anything or anyone hurt you” he suddenly confessed into my hair as he placed a soft kiss on the crown of my head, I looked up to find his dark brown eyes staring into mine. “And I will never leave your side” I replied, my statement making him smile. I don’t know what took over me but I suddenly found myself leaning up to kiss him. He didn’t respond at first but after a few seconds I felt his lips move against mine. This kiss was so much better than any I had ever experienced before. His lips were soft but firm, he tasted of the whiskey we had been drinking and a hint of something else, something uniquely him, he took full control of the kiss holding onto my waist a little tighter. Suddenly I felt like a bucket of cold water fell on me when I felt his tongue brushing against my lips and I came to my senses. I shouldn’t have kissed Jay… he was practically my older brother. I quickly ended the kiss, pushing myself away from him and loosening his grip on my waist in the process. “I’m sorry” I mumbled, avoiding his eyes, trying to get past him and back to my room and to hide under my covers from the embarrassment. “Amara wait” he said, calling me by my birth name instead of the name I was given when I came into the family. He was the only one who called me Amara as he knew I preferred that name a little bit more than my given name. He quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me back into his embrace before I could even take 5 steps away from him. I couldn’t bare to look into his face because of the embarrassment. “That kiss wasn’t a mistake” he said softly. I looked up at him, surprised. “I’ve always felt more for you than any normal brother would or even should, I guess that’s why I have always been so protective over you. At first I thought it was because you had such a tough time growing up and I wanted to protect you from that and this hectic mafia life you had been brought into, but as we grew older I knew it was much more than that. That’s why I could never stand seeing you with those idiots you used to date, especially that piece of shit Bobby” he said. Bobby was the guy I had dated in my senior year of high school but he had broken up with me right after prom after I had given him my virginity, stating that the only reason he was with me was to sleep with the “Park Princess”. I remember crying for a week but after that he mysteriously went missing and his family left town not long after. I had always assumed he had left with his family.

“You’re mine. You’ve always been mine and I’m never letting you go” he declared, looking deep into my eyes before pulling me back into a slightly rough passionate kiss. Deep down I knew I felt the same way about him. I even had a full blown crush on Jay between the ages of 16-18 but after that I quickly pushed it aside thinking it was not only one sided but wrong as he was supposed to be my brother. I briefly thought back to my past boyfriends and realised they all had either personality or physical similarities to Jay but in my mind and heart they would never amount to him. I felt him walk backwards towards the couch without breaking our passionate embrace. He broke our kiss to sit down and signalled for me to straddle him. Before I did I untied the knot I had done on my robe, letting the soft silk fall off my skin, revealing the deep red chemise I was wearing underneath. “Fuck” I heard him whisper as I straddled his lap and continued kissing him, his hands returned to my waist, pulling me closer into him which cause my barely covered pussy to brush up against the quickly growing bulge in his pants, this action causing us both to groan into each other’s mouths.

His lips left mine and started trailing down my neck, finding that sweet spot that made me grind into him just a little harder. My fingers made quick work unbuttoning his shirt and slowly ran down his strong chest lightly brushing over his nipples, this action causing him to groan and dig his fingers- which had moved from my waist to my ass- deeper into my soft but firm flesh. His lips quickly returned to mine as his hands started trailing up, dragging my chemise with them. We briefly separated so he could pull the material over my head before returning to the kiss. “Hold on tight” he muttered, as he got up without breaking our kiss, my legs wrapped securely around his waist. He softly placed me onto his bed as he broke apart from my lips to remove the rest of his shirt. “Fuck you’re perfect” he groaned, his voice laced with lust. “Those fuckers didn’t deserve you” he muttered as he returned to kissing my neck, this time also grabbing onto my boobs and playing with my nipple with his one hand whilst the other trailed down the side of my body and returned to my legs around his waist, I felt nothing but him at that moment, the soft heated touch of his hands running down my body, the smell of his rich expensive cologne, his soft lips on my nipple driving me crazy. At that moment all my thoughts were consumed by him. “Have you ever wondered what happened to that piece of shit Bobby” he said looking into my eyes with a dark look I had only seen a handful of times. “I killed him” he said, now kissing and sucking my left nipples whilst his right hand continued to play with the other.  “What!” pulling his hair causing him to look up at me, “Not only did he have the audacity to touch what’s mine, but he hurt you as well…he had to pay for that” he declared kissing me once again. As dark and twisted as it seems, his confession turned me on even more.

His kisses left my lips once again as he kissed my body further and further down. His fingers made quick work of the cute thong I had been wearing, tearing it off my body “Hey! That was one of my favourites” I complained before moaning as his fingers brushed up against my clit, “I’ll buy you a million more, get you whatever you want and I’ll do whatever you want” he said, looking deep into my eyes. “Well right now, I want you to stop teasing and eat me out” I said grabbing onto his hair, pushing him down towards where I needed him most, “Your wish is my command, my Queen” he said seductively before attaching his lips to my clit. Him calling me his Queen and the feeling of his thick fingers entering me as he sucked my clit made me cum instantly. “Jay!” I screamed his name as I experienced a high like never before. As I came down from it, he pulled his fingers out of me and licked them clean whilst looking me dead in the eye. “You taste so good babygirl I could be down there forever” he said. I quickly sat up and pushed him back and kissed him, tasting myself on his lips sent my body into overdrive as I quickly unbuckled his pants. He chuckled at the rushed movements and pushed me back as he got up to remove his pants.

 As he did this, I got a full proper look at his body; firm, muscular, covered in tattoos and all mine. I truly was the luckiest girl in the world at that moment. As he pulled down his briefs, I got my first proper look at him, he was long, thick and veiny. His tip was an angry red colour dripping beads of pre-cum. He’s gorgeous, I thought. I reached out to feel him, barely able to wrap my hand around him. He felt hot and heavy in my hand. I slowly started to stroke him, and he let out the sexiest groan I had ever heard causing me to look up at him. His eyes were dark with lust and passion. “Baby, you better stop if you don’t want this to end too early” he groaned, taking my hand away from him and leaning into another kiss. He laid me down and once again started kissing my neck. At the back of my mind I wondered if it would hurt; Jay was definitely much more blessed than any other man I had been with.

“Don’t worry baby I’ll go slow” he said positioning himself between my legs as if reading my mind.

“At first” I replied with a sexy smirk on my face as I grabbed him and pumped him a few times before lining him up with my entrance.  “I love you” he said as he slowly entered me. He felt so big that it kind of hurt but I didn’t want him to stop. The pleasure outweighed the pain. “Fuck baby, I love you too” I moaned as he finally bottomed out. “Shit baby you feel so good” he groaned as he started moving at a slow and steady pace. I grabbed his face and pulled him down into another kiss, missing the feel of his lips on me. In this moment I felt complete I knew that we were meant to be, I knew that he was fully mine and as I his. “Fuck baby harder” I moaned as he moved one of my legs to rest on his shoulder. He granted my wish as he started moving faster and harder, hitting a spot in me that made my brain go all fuzzy. I became a moaning mess underneath him as he did what he pleased with my body. “Shit baby, I’m so close” I groaned against his lips. At that moment he pulled out of me and before I could protest he flipped me over onto my stomach and pulled my hips up into a perfectly arched position, he quickly re-entered me, now feeling even deeper than he was before. The sounds that were coming out my mouth didn’t sound like me but at that moment in time I didn’t care because all my body and mind were focused on Jay and the pleasure he was giving me. My mind briefly drifted, the thought of him impregnating me at the moment and how beautiful our baby would be warming me up even more. This thought quickly got pushed aside as I felt him grab my hair and pull me up till my back met his chest. “Fuck baby you feel so good and so fucken tight” he groaned into my ear as I turned my head to kiss him. “I want to feel you cum on me” he groaned as his fingers attached themselves to my clit sending me into the most mind-blowing orgasm I’ve ever experienced in my life. My walls tightened so much around him that he came not a second later. He continued pumping into me, drawing out our highs as much as possible. “Fuck” he sighed in content. “I’m never going to get enough of you” he said pulling me into another kiss.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing” I said clenching my inner walls around his still hard member. He groaned, flipping us over till I was on top of him with his dick deep inside me.

“No, not a bad thing at all” he smirked as I slowly started moving, “You’re mine forever” he said, sitting up and kissing me once again. We continued to make love until the sun slowly started peaking through the curtains. “I love you” he whispered into my hair as I lay in his arms, “And I love you” I replied as I turned my head to give him one last kiss before we fell asleep.

At the back of our minds, we both knew we would probably face a lot of heat and probably negative attention if our relationship was to be exposed with most saying it’s wrong. However, I knew that no matter what Jay would never leave me nor I him.

The End

[theinvisibledreamergirl]

She’s thunderstorms

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Helena Craig) x M!OC (Clay Banner)

Words count: 2.5 k

Warning: 🔞 content/Language

Category: Angst/AU

A.N: Part two of A Triangle of Love Series. Events after the Sweet dreams, TN fic. Helen is the alter ego of Klaw Craig. Feel free to judge me because now that I’m re-reading it… it’s bullshit and I don’t know what to call this. Especially the song it’s not fitting duhhh. Going to log off after posting it. *sighs*

Song: “She’s thunderstorms” - Arctic Monkeys

MASTERLIST

———————————————————————

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

Bryce Lahela was right.

She’s like a goddess that entered to this building and blessed my life when I made eye contact with her.

Indeed a blessing.

She was the most incredible woman and everyone would take a bow just for her hand and fulfill all the wishes she wanted.

He couldn’t feel his breath in that short moment when they exchanged looks. Did someone pause his heart and his body? Because surely he had multiple questions as his mind drifted into thoughts.

When did she come here? How did she find him? Where did she work before coming here? Is she alone? But if not, who was with her? The hair colour and style had changed too. From the straight dark brown with bangs had gone into long, wavy light ash blonde hair that seemed to make her a different person.

But her face was still like he left it. Her arched brows that made her confident; captivating eyes with determination; full and inviting lips that always gave him chills when she crooked them into a playful smirk; her strong and beautiful jaw that tilted whenever he teased her or touched with such delicacy that made her gasp into pleasure; her long neck… without his necklace. He almost scoffed. Of course she had taken it off. What was he expecting?

Their bodies pining in the wall in ecstasy and hearing her sounds...

I’ve been feeling foolish, you should try it

She came and substituted the peace and quiet for

Acrobatic blood, flow concertina

Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire

Everything.

He wanted to do everything.

Anytime and anywhere.

With her and only her.

When he saw her hand shaking with another one... he felt a pit into his stomach and a familiar feeling came into his brain.

Mine.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

Here is your host, sounds as if she’s pretty close

When the heat starts growing horns

She’s thunderstorms

That greatly but destructive feeling called jealousy was in his veins. He wanted to reach out and twirl her around and to whisper to her:

I’m sorry and I really missed you.

Instead he came with slow and confident steps as if his imagination vanished quickly without so noticing and a small professional smile appeared in his face and she seemed to understand it. One more reason why he loves her.

“Ah Clay here you are,” Simon spoke breaking his trip of memory lane. “I want to present you Dr. Helena Craig the surgeon who’s going to replace Edgar for a while. Helen this is Dr. Clay Banner our future cardiothoracic surgeon.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Banner… I have heard a lot about you.” It seemed like a lifetime since he had heard her angelic voice that was a symphony in his ears. He held his tears from falling and coughed to fight the strangle voice that was about to let out.

“A pleasure to meet you too Dr. Craig and I can say the same thing about you.”

Something inside of Helen was igniting.

Her flame.

That old flame which burnt her into many pieces and toyed with her body all of those times sharing with him. She couldn’t say that she didn’t miss him. The real him. The one she fell in love with. His adoring face, his soft hands, his broad shoulders where she leaned on and his assuring voice when she felt insecure.

She had mastered perfectly the art of acting and pretending to be satisfied with everything in her life. Little did those people in the room know how her heart was aching miserably and was shattering from disappointment and hurt from the very same man that was just two feet away.

But a baritone and irritating voice seemed to cut off all of that momentary darkness which in fact she thanked him in silence. “Done with the introductions? Great. We’ve got work to do.” Ethan turned his back and started to write in the whiteboard. “The patient is from Manhattan Presbyterian…”

While Ethan was explaining the symptoms, Helen held a transfixed face to all of the theories of her attending and unexpectedly to other colleagues, she started to ask questions which resulted helpful despite being a surgeon. Sometimes she shared thoughts with Clay and even agreeing with them. It was part of the job after all and Clay couldn’t help but feel proud for his woman.

Correction: his ex.

A past tense that he had to learn from now on. But deep inside of him there was a spark of hope that maybe… maybe things would get back to normal. And maybe she would forgive him.

The team was finally dismissed but only two people stayed. Ethan called Helen before she would leave and that made Clay’s blood boiled because all he wanted was to talk to her right after this meeting. He had to try one last card even though it was useless.

“Dr. Ramsey can we talk for a moment?”

“Is there anything wrong Dr. Banner?”

“No j-just,” he stuttered. “Q-questions about the team in general.”

“We will but after I finish a discussion with Dr. Craig if you don’t mind.”

Fuck you.

“Not at all Sir.” He closed the door reluctantly and sighed in defeat.

“What’s the matter Dr. Ramsey?” She asked although she knew damn well why he had called her.

“What are you doing here?” Ethan clasped his fingers as if to stop whatever his mind was blowing now. His ears were still echoing with her words whispering softly.

Thank you for the distraction. I really needed it.

“Starting my job,” she said innocently and shrugged. “Is it irrelevant?”

“Yes, it is,” he nodded and his feet was carrying him over her; something inevitable that no matter what, he couldn’t stop. “I don’t think all of this is a coincidence.”

“Well lucky for you now you’ll have the most trustworthy person in your team that won’t let you down.”

He scoffed while shaking his head. “I highly doubt your confidence.”

“Just wait and see.”

I’ve already seen you.

After their encounter last night Ethan couldn’t sleep. Many times of trying to change and find the perfect position led to nothing but drinking in the balcony that even his dog Jenner didn’t like it and cooed sadly to his owner. What was this woman doing to him? Why he felt so weak in front of her that immediately wanted to bend her over to his desk and scream his name?

“So,” she crossed her arms behind her waist. “How was I?”

He frowned in confusion and god she thought to herself why he had to be such handsome even in that moment. “Hm?”

“In making you feel surprised.”

“Ah that. Well you’ve clearly exceeded my expectations.”

“Wow. So I rendered you speechless then.”

Giggles were ringing in the walls and for the first time in a while Ethan Ramsey smiled at that. It was something so natural that came from her as other people didn’t get his dry humour but she... she was different. It was like a magnet that more and more you get closer, the more attached you become to her.

She’s been loop-the-looping around my mind

Her motorcycle boots give me this kind of

Acrobatic blood, concertina

Cheating heartbeat, rapid fire

He cleared his throat in purpose of changing the subject. “The reason why I called you,” he put his hand in his front pocket to reveal a tiny and shining object that seemed familiar to her. “Does this belong to you?

“Oh my god yes! This is my earring!” Helen exclaimed shockingly while grazing it with her thumb. Apparently had slipped when she whispered in his ear. “I was looking it all over my room but I couldn’t find it anywhere.” Her gaze now was turned back to him in gratefulness. “Thank you.”

Without thinking she closed their distance by enveloping him into a hug. This caught Ethan off guard but now he returned the hug back and closed his eyes while inhaling her perfume. She did the same too and in that moment both of them felt safe on each other’s arms as if they knew where they belonged. The world around them didn’t exist for a few seconds and both of them despite not saying out loud, they wanted to continue it.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms

“It’s nothing.” He smiled politely when they separated.

“No this is not nothing. I owe you because this earring was really special to me.” She inhaled slowly while considering an option. Taking some risk wouldn’t hurt her? Right? “What do you say uhm- a drink? In this case I can apologise for yesterday’s… thing.”

“You have nothing to apologise for.”

“Sure I have, because to be completely honest Dr. Ramsey… I knew who you were.”

And here he thought that she was just another stranger that thankfully didn’t know him. Now he was feeling raged and betrayed because that meant she wanted to impress him only by her appearance and make a spot here on his team. His authoritative voice came back as if to maintain the last straw of himself.

“You did know who were you talking to?”

“Yeah I did. Now I’m speaking to my attending,” she moved tantalising and confidently just like yesterday. “To my colleague. And,” then tilted her chin while saying. “To a possible friend.”

“For the latter dream on.” He warned her.

She laughed heartedly. “We’ll meet at Donahue’s at 9 PM sharply and don’t be late because I can’t wait more than two minutes.”

His eyebrows narrowed incredulously and crossed his arms to his chest. “I don’t remember accepting your offer. And besides… how do you know my agenda? What if I’m busy?”

“Well I don’t remember taking a no answer from you and I’ve got my sources about your special agenda.” She shrugged innocently. “See you tonight doctor.”

The door was closed but not before throwing a playful wink to him. He let out a laugh while shaking his head in disbelief. This woman was really crazy but it was one of a kind and Ethan Ramsey couldn’t wait to know more about her.

——————————————

Helen wasn’t surprised to see him waiting impatiently in the corner while she was talking with Dr. Ramsey.

What was so important that took them this long? He thought.

Actually that was only five minutes but to him it seemed like five hours already. When she got out he couldn’t help but stare at her not knowing where to start first.

“Helen.”

“Dr. Banner,” the plastered smile didn’t leave her face despite being furious and ready to wipe his ass in front of everyone. “You can go now to Dr. Ramsey. He’s free.”

“Actually, can we talk?” She rolled her eyes. “I won’t make you wait too much. I promise.”

Helen whispered only for the two of them to hear. “You and your promises,” a tackle of her tongue was heard twice. “Aren’t in coherence. I don’t know why should I listen to you. Let me guess- I’m sorry my Helen but I had to step in you to gain my spot here in Edenbrook thanks to my parents who are very powerful and influential people in Boston.”

“I-”

“I’m not finished,” her hardened gaze was evident and he knew he had to stop. “Or how you accepted without so much caring not one but two strange women in your bed while you were fucking drunk. That must’ve been a fruitful threesome huh? Why didn’t you try with a boy too? That would’ve been the cherry on top.” Her words were poisonous and she thought he deserved much worse than these. “Or how your mother has always tried to make me feel miserable in front of everyone when you did absolutely nothing to stop it. Not even moving your finger.”

In an unusual place, when you’re feeling far away

She does what the night does to the day

She was right about everything. He couldn’t disagree with any of the words she said. Helen Craig was rarely found to be wrong.

“I think that our conversation ends here Dr. Banner.”

He grabbed her elbow without thinking twice for his recklessness and made her narrow her eyes in annoyance. “Tonight at Donahue’s bar 9 o’clock and I will explain you everything.”

“Get off me or I’ll scream.” She warned dangerously.

“We both know you can’t.” Clay had no idea where this was leading but he could see the fire into her eyes. “You wouldn’t want people to find out that you had a boyfriend working here huh?”

Look at this prick starting to talk.

“Well well do you need a reminder that my father and my brother can make you beg for your life again?”

The last encounter with the Craig males was one year ago when they found out that this jerk had dumped the most precious thing of their family. Patrick Craig was the first to reach for the drawer to load his gun just in case whereas Brian her brother made sure to find Clay’s location with his advanced knowledge of technology. The end resulted in a bloody and a harsh fight between them and warning the latter to not come any centimeter closer to Helen. And the scar on his neck was still visible after that time.

“That happened once. It can’t happen again,” he grasped her out of his hand. “I’ll be waiting.”

With that he left the ultimatum settled in her hands and keeping it until 9 PM. Helen stayed still like someone had glued her in a position that she couldn’t escape.

She wouldn’t go.

No.

She wouldn’t hear him again and believe his words. But there was such a confidence in his voice that made her scared. Thanks to that she felt the anxiety rising up and panic for what was about to come.

She could easily cancel the plans with Dr. Ramsey and not go to that bar. But when she met him yesterday it felt something different with that share of eye contact.

Despite being half-drunk and exhausted from her flight he had made her forgetting all of her plans and the reason why she came in Boston. It was entirely a new world, a new dimension that she hadn’t explored yet and was eager to find more about this man.

It was unethical but did she care? Not in the slightest. Helen was ambitious and she definitely would possess it. She had to think of a plan how to sabotage this whole thing but how?

The choice she had to make was like a ticking bomb that in one way or another, was going to blast.

She’s thunderstorms

Lying on her front, up against the wall

She’s thunderstorms, thunderstorms, thunderstorms

—————————————————————-

TAGS WILL APPEAR IN A REBLOG!

[dameronology]

tea & whiskey {jack daniels x reader} - 1

part one: an insight into how microwaving tea should be a capital crime (fem! reader) 

song for this chapter - ldn by lily allen

summary: you’re Percival; reigning queen of the Kingsman, certified bad-ass and one of the most self-sufficient women to have ever graced the City of London. A mission with the Statesmen is a chance to further your career and tighten your grip on international success - it’s a shame that Jack Daniels already has his eyes on the throne. He also has his eyes on you, and it proves to be a problem for you both. {series masterlist}

this has all the kingsman characters but doesn’t follow the canon of golden circle. eggsy, tequila, champ, merlin etc all crop up throughout the series as well! if u want to be tagged, gimme a shout 

- jazz

You didn’t usually answer the door when someone knocked after 11PM. 

It was just common sense, really. Only serial killers, creeps and people who had the wrong address would knock that late. You could have taken on any of those three regardless - you were a bad-ass after all - but you were also busy. You’d been tirelessly working all day at the office, and the grind didn’t stop just because you’d got home. The stack of paperwork beside your computer felt like it was never ending and you simply didn’t have the time to answer the door. Working as Kingsman was more of a lifestyle than it was a job.

‘Oi!’

You almost jumped out your seat when the banging moved to the window beside your desk. It overlooked your front lawn and the quiet street you lived on - well, as quiet as a street in central London could be. Classic to the city, rain was lashing down on the glass, obscuring your view of whoever your visitor was. 

Right, you could add Eggsy Unwin to the list of people who knocked this late. 

‘What the hell, Eggsy?!’ You sighed, opening the front door. Your colleague quickly rushed from where he was standing by the window, elbowing past you and into the dry warmth of your house. ‘It’s almost midnight-’

‘- I’ve been calling you for hours!’ The agent exclaimed. 

‘I’ve been working all day.’ You replied. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d turned up at your doorstep at a stupid hour. Eggsy was your colleague, but first and foremost, he was your best friend. He had a tendency to drive you up the fucking wall and right back down again, and had done since you were in your school years, but he’d always been a little dependent on you. Whether it had been letting him crash on your sofa when his stepfather became too much, or giving him a lift home from the police station at 2AM after he’d been arrested, you always had his back. He had yours too, but you rarely needed it. Even after becoming a member of the Kingsman and essentially saving the world, you were still the first person he came too. 

After wrapping Eggsy up in a towel and escorting him to the kitchen, you placed a mug of warm tea on the table and sat beside him. Work could wait - for an hour or so at least. Chasing an internationally-reclaimed terrorist certainly took precedence over whatever your friend’s problems were, but if he needed you, he needed you. Bros before hoes might not have been the perfect saying for the situation, but the sentiment was definitely there. 

‘What’s happened now?’ You quirked an eyebrow. ‘I know it ain’t an arrest because you would have called from the station otherwise.’

Eggsy thinned his eyes at you. ‘I haven’t been arrested in two years.’

‘So what was it?’

‘I had a fight with Tilde.’ He admitted. ‘I don’t know what happened, but she’s mad at me.’

‘Were you talking before she got mad?’

‘Yeah.’

You raised your mug in the air. ‘That’s probably it then.’

‘Y/N!’ He swatted your hand away, causing tea to spill out onto the table. 

You sighed. ‘D’you wanna talk about it?’

‘No, I just need a place to crash.’

You stood up, leaning over the table to give his shoulder a squeeze. ‘You know where the spare room is, right?’

‘That’s it?’ He pouted. ‘Tea and a squeeze on the shoulder? My life is falling apart!’

‘Don’t be a drama queen.’ You replied. ‘I have to work - and you should be too. We’re close to getting Calahan.’

Calahan was the codename for the terrorist you’d been tracking - at least his current one. The man had worked under several aliases, jumping from country to country before finally falling under the jurisdiction of the British secret services. The MI5 and Scotland Yard were too well known to work such a sensitive case; the location of their offices were publicly known, making it easier for Calahan to slip in double agents. The civilians, however, had no knowledge on the Kingsmen. A tailor’s shop was a perfectly good front for a place to set up base and track the man down. 

Thanks to your success on your previous missions, Arthur had put you in charge of finding him, with Eggsy assigned as your partner. He was just as good an agent as you, but you had little sympathy for his domestic issues. 

‘I was working on it all day.’ Eggsy held his hands up in surrender. ‘But with all due respect, Percival, I don’t work into the late hours of the night. I know how to switch off.’

‘That’s because you’re a man, Eggsy.’ You reminded him. ‘I am one of three women at Kingsman.’

‘That’s still three more than there used to be.’ 

‘You’ve already pissed off one extremely patient woman tonight.’ You warned him, referring to Tilde. ‘Do you want to go two for two?’

‘No.’ He huffed. ‘Women are just complicated.’

‘Or maybe men are just dumb.’ You smiled sweetly, before brushing a hand through his hair. ‘You should get some rest.’

‘So should you.’

‘I’m fine.’ You shook your head. ‘I’ve got a meeting with Merlin in the morning. We’ll have to leave at eight.’

‘Do I have to go? Merlin hasn’t said anything to me-’

‘- yes.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I said so.’

He couldn’t argue with that. 

--

The following morning, you were headed for the Kingsman headquarters by 9AM. Having filled Eggsy with some coffee and half a bacon-sandwich, he had cheered up considerably. You did feel for him - he had been right when he said that women were confusing - but your attention was still very much on work. That was the norm, really. You lived and breathed for your job. It wasn’t your whole identity but it was certainly your whole life. You were recruited at eighteen and now, it was all you knew. The other agents were your family. 

‘C’mon, Eggsy!’ You demanded, practically leaping out your car. Your arms were piled high with files, keys dangling from your fingers as you kicked the door to the Mustang shut. It had been a present from Kingsmen for a particularly successful mission. 

‘There’s no rush.’ Eggsy chided from behind you. ‘You should enjoy a little leisurely stroll once in a while. It might do that vein on your forehead some good.’ 

Whilst you were decked out in a blazer and black jeans, Eggsy was in his usual snapback and sports jacket. He trailed beside you, hands stuffed in his pockets as you both slipped inside the shop. It was quiet inside, the only sounds coming from the bell on the door and the sound of your heels on the polished wooden floors. You didn’t just wear them because they made your legs look endless - they doubled up as weapons too. Merlin hadn’t done anything special to them, it was just that anything was a blade if you tried hard enough. Your five inch Christian Louboutins were no different. The fact the bottoms were already red was purely a convenient coincidence. 

‘She still hasn’t called me.’ Eggsy murmured. 

‘I’m sure she will.’ You gave his arm a light squeeze. ‘Tilde loves you, Egghead.’ 

‘Fucking ‘ell.’ He let out a snort. ‘You haven’t called me that in years.’

The two of you made your way down the hall and towards the meeting room. Merlin was already sitting at the table, pens and notepads laid out in front of him. Considering that you’d worked together for years, you hardly knew the man. He was always working, always building new gadgets or arranging missions. Did he ever sleep? You wouldn’t have been surprised if it turned out that he’d been a droid this whole time. Someone had mentioned his name being Hamish once, but he didn’t seem like a Hamish. You always pegged him as more of a...Simon. Or a Mark. 

‘You two are late.’ He greeted you. 

‘It’s nine o’clock.’ You shot back, dropping into the seat opposite him. 

‘Early is on time.’ Merlin folded his arms across his chest. ‘On time is late.’

You rolled your eyes at the agent. ‘You know how London traffic can be.’

Choosing to ignore your comment, the Scotsman hit a few buttons on the table in front of him. The whiteboard in front of you jumped to life, lighting up with a picture of New York City - specifically, Midtown. You’d been to the city several times for work, usually to do recon or on protection details for British politicians before diplomatic visits. Outside of that, any missions in North America were outside of the Kingmen’s authority. That was when it fell to the USA’s secret services - a bunch of people you weren’t particularly fond of working with. 

‘Calahan slipped out of the country.’ Merlin stated. ‘He’s been spotted in Manhattan by several of our contacts at the Bureau.’ 

‘What?!’ You guffawed. ‘I thought we had tabs on him. You told me we had tabs on him-’

‘- let me finish, Percival.’ He cut you off. ‘We let him.’

‘You…’ you scoffed in disbelief. ‘You let a known terrorist escape the borders?! You know that I’ve had tabs on him for months! Are you trying to waste my time?’

‘Calm down, agent!’ Merlin repeated, this time in a more firm tone. It was easy to let your temper get the best of you - but at the same time, it was the very thing that had allowed you to force your colleagues into submission. ‘He has more charges on his back in American jurisdiction. We have a better chance of convicting him over there.’

‘You could have told me that before I spent six months tailing him.’ You dropped back in your chair, folding your arms tightly across your chest. 

‘Your mission isn’t over.’ Merlin replied. ‘You know more about Calahan than any men here or across the pond. I want you posted in New York for a few months.’

‘Oh?’ You sat up, interest peaked. 

Working internationally was usually the first step to becoming a senior agent. It was one thing to commandeer the respect of your colleagues but to throw your name into the ring on a global scale? That was how you made it big time - and big time meant big time. Your work would go from being based in London, to taking you all over the world. Kingsman who worked on an international level could be in Moscow one day and Bogota the next. Once they retired, they were legends. It was the kind of success you’d dreamed of your whole life.

And New York was the first stepping stone. 

‘It’s only if you want it, of course.’ Merlin pulled you from your thoughts. ‘The Statesman have agreed to accommodate you, should you choose to accept.’

‘Statesmen?’ You tried to hide the displeasement in your face. ‘Like...the cowboys?’

‘Is there a problem, Percival?’

‘No!’ You quickly replied. ‘It’s just...I worked with one of them once. It wasn’t great.’

‘Here we go.’ Eggsy murmured from beside you. ‘She witnessed Agent Tequila make tea in the microwave.’

‘And I swore never to work with them again.’ You hissed under your breath, fists clenching.

‘I can see how that would be disturbing.’ Merlin agreed. ‘Though I’m not entirely sure it’s enough reason to turn down a potentially career changing mission.’

‘No, you’re right.’ You nodded. ‘But I can bring my own kettle, right?’

--

‘I can’t believe you brought your own fucking kettle.’

‘And I can’t believe that Merlin is making me drag you along-’

‘- it’s only for a week.’ Eggsy held his hands up in defense.

Eggsy, who had momentarily forgotten his relationship woes, had been posted out in the city with you for the first five or six days. Merlin and Arthur had been pretty insistent on him joining you - something about making sure you didn’t blow your lid at a cowboy. It was funny, because you were usually the one babysitting him. That being said, deep down you were glad to have him there with you. It would have made settling in a little easier. 

You were moving faster than him, the sound of your heels clicking on the marble floors of the Statesman headquarters as you floated towards the front desk. The building was right in central Manhattan, bang in the middle of all the beautiful things New York had to offer. Not that you were going to experience many of them - you were here to work, after all. 

‘Percival!’ Agent Tequila was posted by the front desk, a grin spread across his face as your eyes met. ‘And...I know they told me your name, but I’ve forgotten.’

‘He’s Galahad 2.0.’ You stuck your hand out to Tequila, offering him the kettle. ‘This is for you.’

‘A...a kettle?’ The agent gave you an odd look. 

‘If I’m going to be working with you for the next few months, I cannot witness you making tea in a microwave.’ You explained. ‘I may murder you in your sleep otherwise.’

‘Jeez, lady.’ He muttered. He would have argued, but if there was one thing he’d learnt from your last collaboration, it was that nobody entered into a fight with you and won. ‘But it’s okay, you’re not with me this time.’

‘Oh?’ You quirked an eyebrow. Tequila began to make his way to the lift, signalling for you and Eggsy to follow. 

‘No, you’re with Whiskey this time.’ He explained, pressing the button for the top floor. ‘He’s a little more senior than me.’

‘Whiskey and Tequila?’ Eggsy muttered in your ear. ‘What’s their boss called? Pale ale?’

‘Champagne.’ You replied. 

‘Good one.’ He snorted.

‘No, Eggsy.’ You whispered back. ‘He’s actually called Champagne.’

‘Fucking hell.’ 

Yeah, you thought, that kinda sums it up.

The three of you stepped out the lift and onto the top floor. The views from the windows were almost breath-taking; it wasn’t often that you got to see 360 degree views of one of the most beautiful cities in the world. The skyscrapers stretched out further than the eye could see, eventually melting together in the distance where the sky met the land. It was almost breath-taking just to think about - the people, the opportunities, the magic that New York had to offer. London was your home, and you couldn’t even begin to dream of leaving, but your mind did wander off a little. 

‘Whiskey! I got your girl!’ Tequila yelled, pressing a button on an intercom outside one of the offices. He gave Eggsy a quick glance. . ‘And...the other one.’

‘Sweet Jesus, Tequila!’ A strong Southern accent came back. ‘You don’t gotta yell every time you use the fucking thing! I’m gonna be deaf as a goddamn doornail before I’m fifty.’

A moment later, the door to the office opened and Agent Whiskey stepped out. He was about the same height as Tequila, but a little older. He was wearing a cow-boy hat and there was a...was it a swagger? A spring in his step? Either way, the temptation to stick your foot out and stop him in his tracks was overwhelming. 

‘Well hello, pretty lady.’ Whiskey greeted you with a shit-eating grin. ‘I hear that you’re the little birdy who’s gonna give me Calahan?’

‘I prefer Percival.’ You monotonously replied. ‘And if I’m the little birdy that’s gonna give you Calahan, then you must be the yankee who stole him from me.’

‘Girl’s gotta bite.’ He gave your hand a shake. ‘I like that.’

‘This is Galahad.’ You pointed to Eggsy, who was inwardly holding his breath at the whole exchange. He was mentally counting down the minutes before you smacked off Whiskey’s cowboy hat. ‘Let’s see if you can acknowledge his gender three times in one breath-’

‘- okay, that’ll do!’ Your best friend pulled you back, taking Whiskey’s hand in place of yours. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Whiskey.’

‘Please, call me Jack.’ The cowboy replied. 

‘Whiskey. Jack.’ Eggsy murmured under his breath. ‘Oh my days! Imagine if your surname was Daniels.’

After a brief conversation with Jack about his surname - during which you had seen Eggsy Unwin more entertained than ever before - you were taken down the hall to the agent’s office. Meanwhile, Eggsy and Tequila were escorted off to exchange some files that you’d both gathered. 

Whiskey’s office was exactly as you could have predicted; a mixture of dark wood furniture and red tones. The air smelt of his aftershave, with a hint of brandy and earth.

‘Your desk is that one there.’ Whiskey gestured to a slightly smaller set-up in the corner. 

‘I don’t get my own office?’

‘Since we’re gonna be working in close proximity, Champ figured it was best we double up.’ He explained. ‘Saves us doing a whole revolving door movement when we gotta talk to one another.’

‘Makes sense.’ You placed your bag on the desk, admiring the view for a moment. All of your files on Calahan had been uploaded to the Statesmen’s online cloud, whilst your other belongings had been delivered to the apartment you were staying in. ‘Nice view.’

‘It ain’t bad.’ Whiskey nodded. ‘You been to this neck of the woods before?’ 

‘Only when British diplomats need a babysitter.’ You replied.

‘Babysitting?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘That’s what you Kingsmen do? You babysit?’

‘Why d’you think Eggsy is here?’ You shot back. ‘To babysit me.’

‘Now why would a well-mannered redcoat such as yourself need a babysitter?’ He could barely hide the grin in his voice, leaning back against the window as he peered at you over his glasses.

‘How would I put it in your terms?’ You pondered for a moment, offering Whiskey a sweet smile. ‘Is there a Southern term for I eat cowboys alive?’ 

He gulped. ‘I...I don’t think we got one for that yet.’ 

You nodded, turning your attention back to staring at the view in front of you. ‘You should come up with one. It might be useful.’ 

[khaleesiofalicante]

So I was coming in here thinking about my hello gif when I saw your new description and now I am feels about David too!!

Anyways... Hola Dani, how are you?? How are things in your country??? I'm dealing with a very bad case of tonsillitis and the high fever is making me delirious hopefully this chapter will give me some Sarah and Tony 🙌🏼🙌🏼

Older Brothers are Fucking Annoying

Song rec for this chapter: Surface Pressure by Jessica Darrow from Encanto

Banger!!! This is my favorite so far!!

THE BEGINNING

“But you should like it, mom,” Alec says firmly. “If you are going to live there, you should like it.”

What happened to my twin??

Magnus had suggested that maybe he has met someone but if that’s the case then why didn’t Jace tell Alec anything about her?

Why didn't you tell him about Magnus? Oh I know...!!!

Sometimes that’s what it means to be a son. To make sacrifices for your parents.

I see where Rafe gets it from 😭

“No more pushing or I won’t let you babysit any of my future children,” Alec threatens.

🤣🤣 lies!!

“I’ll call you back, babe,” Izzy says into the phone. “My room got invaded by an asshole.”

Why is she so angry?? Alec what did you do??? Also... Simon 🥰

She doesn’t understand how politics or bureaucracy works.

I hate politics!!!

I’ve always been sappy.

I’m just not afraid to show it anymore.

Magnus did that.

Aww Alec!! I want this in my life!!

“Being an adult sounds exhausting,” Izzy points out.

It is!! 😭

Alec smiles reluctantly. “She kinda has a point, you know. We’ve lowered the bar for you.”

Look who you're dating!!! THE bar has never been higher!!!

“Bitch,” Alec says. “You better be joking.”

🤣🤣 this has such Max vibes!! Also the meme 🤣

“I love her,” Jace says simply. “She is it for me. I know it.”

This siblings have no chill!!

“I want in!” Izzy yells and jumps off the bed, trying to hug them both at once.

Me too... I need hugs!!

“At least his dad is not a psychopath,” Jace hums.

THE MIDDLE

Rafe!!!! 😍 lo amo demasiado!!

And there is of course the fact that Rafael’s father is a governor and Anjali’s father is a senator.

Details!!

Anjali wants to be a lawyer. A civil rights lawyer to be specific.

This queen can do anything!! Where do I have to sign for this two to rule my life???

These two take sexy nerds to a whole new level and I am love it!!

Good. They all should be.

We all are babe!! And a little turn on too 😈

Rafael doesn’t know what happened.

Is this about that asshole designer??

“That’s…That’s it?” Rafael asks in surprise.

I'm very surprised too

“Oh no! Rafe! Don’t leave me! How will I live without my first born!”

I was laughing at this and then I remembered 🥲

Bapak and dad have been together for twenty years now. Rafael supposes you get used to some things after a while.

20 years... 20... and then Dani attacked!! 😭

He doesn’t know why he is even disappointed.

This happens to me all the time 😣 is like "great what do I do with all this accumulated stress now?

It was selected and organized and presented after a lot of thought and effort.

Go to therapy!!!

But for some reason he can’t. There is something buzzing inside him.

Is the accumulated stress, trust me I'm an expert!!

Ay no, no, no, no 😔 bad shit is happening!!

“When people want to destroy, they’ll find a way,” dad says darkly. “It doesn’t matter how they found out. These kinds of things are not hard to find if you have friends in the right places.”

What the fuck is wrong with people?? 😭😭 leave Magnus alone!!!!!!!

You know what? It's incredibly sad and I've cried a lot about it but I'm glad Magnus got out!! He doesn’t deserve any of this, it'll be too much for anyone but a person suffering from depression?? Magnus is strong as fuck 😭😭😭

Rafael, against his better judgement, goes on Twitter.

No Rafe that's the internet's shit hole

Oh Max no!! I don't like where this is going 😭

“So what? Let him hear me!” Max spits out. “What’s he gonna do? Kill me too?”

MAXWELL!!! Take that back!!!

He feels so angry at everything and everyone and all at once.

Go to therapy!!! Why do these bitches have so much money for if they won't use it to take care of themselves???

How do you make someone feel better if there aren’t feeling anything at all?

He comes to Rafael’s room that night and tells him he is going to ask dad for a divorce.

I wonder what would have happened if instead of a divorce Magnus had asked Alec to quit politics??

Not me making AUs of an AU in my head 🤦🏻‍♀️ is the fever 🤒

THE END

MAX!!! 😍 I feel the Mavid glow healing my body!!

He knows what he wants to do. 

Rather, who he wants to do. 

Those texts are the greatness 🙌🏼

[From: David]

I think of you everywhere 💛

Because at this point the rules are a little blurry and he likes it when David says nice things to him.

Max stop pretending, you're in love, go propose to your future husband!!

Note to self: You are so fucking close to getting caught.

You know what? at this point Alec doesn’t know because he doesn't want to... he's brain is refusing to process the data!!

“White ones,” Elyaas points out.

“I heard they are made in France,” Tian notes.

🤣🤣🤣 see... He doesn’t want to get it!! It's obvious!

Dad almost drops his coffee. He raises an eyebrow. “You want to come to church?”

Come on Alec!! Wait... no, is fine, I reconsidered, keep being oblivious!!

“You said you’ll reach out to him,” dad says again. “Have you?”

Ooh he has!! 😈

Max at church is the pinacle of comedy 🤣🤣

They literally saw each other last night. But whatever. What the fuck is time anyway?

Where is Rafe???

What. The. Fuck.

That’s it?

That’s all he had to do?

Ask?

Yep... that's all it takes!!

Note to self: Get this backstory. Asap.

And share it with me!!

Max being in a group chat with the staff *chef kiss*

“Dad,” Max says. “Tell bapak about Hodge.”

I thought we were going to keep that to ourselves I'm pleasantly surprised

Maybe they can just cuddle up on the sofa and watch a movie.

Or that... I like that

I feel like Max is going to tell Alec about David just to break the tension at some point

Note to self: Talking to people and telling them what you want really fixes a lot of problems, huh?

Is what I've been saying!!

Note to self: Post a thirst trap on behalf of dad later.

Yes, please!!

“You smell like booze,” Max elaborates.

No, please 🙏🏼 😢 let's stay in the awkward but happy mood!

Max doesn’t know why but he feels like he is going to cry.

Me too!!

What is happening with Rafe??? I don't like it!!! Dani!! Make it stop!!!

Rafael sighs. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I’m stressed about some work stuff.”

Go to therapy!!!

Max doesn’t know what dad was sorry about.

And we don’t wanna know!!

“I love him,” Max says.

He said it, out loud and it hurts 😭 it wasn’t suppose to hurt

This whole conversation hurts, but I'm also relieved, Rafe needed to get that shit out and Max needed to hear it and they all need THERAPY!!!

“David,” Max says, revealing his face. “Why do you do this?”

Because he loves you!!

“Hello, Blanket Max,” David whispers. “I’m Blanket David.”

They own me!!

Thank youuuu Dani...!!! ❤❤❤❤ this chapter made me both grateful and sad about being and only child 🥺

I SCREAMED AT SOME OF THESE REACTIONS PLS-

That last comment made me very uwu. I've always wanted to be the only child but I think I won't be alive (literally) if not for my siblings lol.

Here is a fun headcanon/canon: Mavid doing tiktok dances together :)

PS - Thank you for helping me with the Spanish translations!!!!!!!!!

[p1nkwitch]

@lonelyeyesweek

Day 1 - First Meeting

Peter was very reluctant to go to the Magnus institute funding party; uncle Nathaniel informed him that one of his new duties would be to make business with James Wright and he really didn't want to do that. A beholder… What a nightmare.

I would've stayed at home

'Cause I was doin' better alone

Peter was very reluctant to go to the Magnus institute funding party; uncle Nathaniel informed him that one of his new duties would be to make business with James Wright and he really didn't want to do that. A beholder… What a nightmare.

The party was unfortunately the most informal way to meet the man, otherwise he would be forced to enter a small room with the watcher to make sure he didn't dry up his family money for an indefinite amount of time.

So he was really dreading the moment he would be meeting this man, Simon kept telling him that James was an old friend and that it would be fine, that he was actually funny beneath all the politeness, however he wasn't so sure about that.

Due to Simon’s and his uncle’s influence he has a very loose idea of some boring old man, a type of academic with a nondescript look that he will forget as soon as he leaves.

With any luck he would just make his acquaintance today and then he may go from the party, Peter preferred to be at home instead of dilly dallying with the masses. As much as he likes to observe people, he likes it better when it's on his own terms and when he is not forced to be part of an event.

So he goes with very little hope for the night, the only positive is that he may get some free food and some alcohol, albeit champagne will not do much for him.

The moment Simon sees him, he zeroes on him and stays nearby talking about his trips to Europe. He also tells him about a few sacrifices he made that actually seemed rather interesting. Still Peter preferred the ones he committed at the ocean, but he knew the man was always more partial to the sky so its not surprising they are all on that vein.

“What about you Captain? You have a few voyages under your belt now lad, how did those go? Were they to your liking?” And the answer to that is a bit complicated, Peter is still getting used to handling a ship, his crew hasn't been properly trained yet to keep themselves in check so he has to… ugh make a few rules.

The other problem is that most of his crew is formed of older, more experienced sailors. Peter is 26 and unfortunately has a rather… soft looking face, he has been trying to grow a beard to at least make himself look a bit more rugged or older looking, but that will take time and he just has a five o’clock shadow for now. It will take him months to have anything resembling what he wants. The graying hair does work a bit better, that he can count for at least.

He is considering hiring someone to relay his messages to, so that way he can stay away most of the time and he can practice his solitude in peace. He really would love to not be perceived until he looks like he wants.

“Its ok, I still need to figure out a few things to be honest, I would love it if the crew was a bit less…”

“Talkative?”

“Friendly” Simon nods at him and pats his shoulder before going back to another story of a trip he made like 250 years ago. It is quite interesting, albeit Peter gets struck with how old the man is. Most of the time he can forget it, easy to do when Simon is so lively, but when he tells him these stories…. hard to ignore in all honesty.

Picking up an offered champagne glass he listens distractedly wondering when he will meet the man organizing this whole charade.

The older man talks to him but at some point his sentence drifts off and he looks behind him with a grin. A bit lost and now concerned, those grins never end up well for him, Peter turns back to check what exactly was his companion watching.

The answer comes to him like a hit to the face.

An older man talking and entertaining several people at the same time, Peter doesn't realize that he was gripping his glass very tightly until Simon waves and calls for the man over.

He wasn't boring looking like his uncle or very, very old like Simon. He must be in his fifties, he was dressed up impeccably with a black shirt that had his sleeves rolled out to his elbows, a deep green vest with golden details and dark green pants.

The man also has a pencil moustache and a few moles near his jaw, which made him stand out. He was also a bit shorter than him, but most people are so that doesn't surprise him.

The air of surety, of knowing he had made him feel bigger than he was however.

Peter swallows and feels his face warm up for reasons he can't comprehend.

When the man turns around towards Simon, he can see his eyes-

Grey.

Peter never looks anyone to their eyes and yet, and yet-

For a second it feels as if the man also froze looking at him, he had a look of….surprise almost?

But it was only for a second, the next thing Peter knows is that the man starts to approach them while he is struggling to not disappear in a puff of smoke. Oh, Forsaken protect him.

“Hello Simon” His voice is very low and amused, oh fuck.

“Hello James!! It's been a while hasn't it?” Ja-

James?

“You are James Wright?” Peter cuts off the man before he answers back to Simon and he realizes that he is an idiot, shit-

No wonder he was so eye-catching then.

…

For some reason James' lips twitch upwards as if he was trying not to smile at something. Peter has no way to know what is so funny.

“You must be Peter Lukas then? Nathaniel… told me about you, its a pleasure to meet you” Peter smiles his usual vapid smile to keep him from prying, he already feels exposed and kind of confused about the man. Better to make this quick and go.

“Yes, uncle mentioned you too, albeit he did not do you justice” ???? What the fuck is he doing, what is wrong with him??? Why did he say that??

Peter feels his hands sweat and his face warm up, he is praying he is not red in the face.

James looks perplexed and he feels Simon staring at him with the biggest grin ever as if he was having the time of his life which knowing him, he probably did, he loves drama after all.

“Is that so?” The man crosses his arms and Peter has to keep himself from staring at the flex of it he has to.

What the hell is wrong with him?

“Yes! He made you sound like a boring old man to be honest, but you are quite the opposite, you look very-” Peter spends a lot of time alone, meaning he doesn't properly talk with people. His usual mechanism of defense is to talk so much that everyone just lets him be.

That translates into him not having a filter, because of that he just says what is on his mind, even if he knows he shouldn't. In this case it is a shot in the foot and he has no idea why, why is he reacting like this? The man is-

Is just a bit good looking thats all!! No need to be so nervous.

“...Good” His face is burning, Peter knows he must be red all over.

He is an embarrassment to the family name, he has to go, he has to go now. How is he going to face him to do business oh shit-

James for his part seems to look at him with something akin to wonder an a bit of curiosity, while Simon-

Simon for his part is sighing mentally about his nephew’s taste in man. Very on brand for a Lukas, albeit Jonah seems to be quite taken aback.

Peter might look like Mordechai but they are not alike at all.

“Well thank you Mister Lukas”

“Peter is alright” Why won't he shut uppppp, what is wrong with him? This has never happened before, a little bit more and he will spontaneously combust.

James smiles at him and something in his chest squeezes. Is he dying? Is his heart giving out on him so soon?

“Well Peter, it was lovely meeting you. I can't wait to make business with you. I'm sure we will get along… very well”

“I can't wait” !!!!!! He wants to die.

Peter is going out to sea for the next 4 months just to get rid of whatever this is.

James grins at him and is about to leave, making him let out a breath of relief when he turns slightly.

“Say… I was going to ask Simon to drink with me after the party, in my office. Would you like to join us?” No!

“Sure” The man gives him a smug look and goes.

Simon pats his back.

“You need to get better at flirting, albeit i do believe you impressed him quite a bit, he usually ignores all the Lukas that come to make business with him”

“Im going to kill myself” He hates his life so much.

“Ah lad don't be like that, its just a few drinks, it doesn't have to go anywhere else”

Several years and flings with the man later. Peter is left with only grief at James sudden passing. They had something of a thing going on, not really labeled, since neither liked that. But the man suddenly broke things up and Peter in his anger left for months on end.

By the time he came back he found out James died and he had a new replacement.

Elias Bouchard.

He hates him on principle.

Peter is cold with him at every little meeting, speaks just as necessary and goes before the man even attempts to chat him up. At least he has his own loneliness, the only thing that truly lasts for him.

It sings out to him, like a siren song, it's easier to get lost on it, to just… become colder and harsher. What else should he do? It's not like Peter could ever love someone like that again.

Or want to.

“-ter, Peter!!”

“What do you want Mr Bouchard?” The younger man was glaring at him and it feels unfair, he should be the one glaring.

“I was asking you if you intend to stop being difficult and listen to me for once! I swear i get you lonely ones love playing at the grief stricken partner, but its been months already im getting tired of trying to talk to you like pulling teeth. Listen- i know i was kind of an ass, but really i needed to do the switch and i was worried a bit about people talking about some favouritism-” What the hell is he on about now??? Also how dare he!

“What- are you talking about? I'm not faking- what are you-!? Listen, I'm not up for games, let alone your games. I have better things to do than be your little entertainment, give me the papers to sign and I will be on my way, off of your life-” Elias gets up and slams his hands on the desk making him flinch.

“That attitude!! I don't want you out of my way!!! I said what I said as James because I was going to change bodies and people were talking about our relationship too much, it would look odd when I became Elias and we hooked up again!!”

Peter freezes.

“What- what do you mean became Elias?” The man who is not Elias??? Narrows his eyes and then suddenly looks surprised and confused.

“You don't know-”

“What do you-”

“How can you not know I told you- i-” Elias? Drifts off and looks to the empty room with a blank expression.

“I forgot to tell you”

“Um-”

“I thought i told you after- oh, oh fuck we ended up sleeping together after sacrificing that woman at the restaurant, i got distracted and-”

Peter starts to piece together a few things.

“James…?” Elias flops on his chair covering his face and doing a muffled scream into his hands.

“I can believe i forgot i got so excited that you let me tie you up that i completely forgot” Peter’s face burns.

“I-”

“Yes, yes it's me, I thought you were being difficult not that you- oh my god you actually were grieving me weren't you? You sap” His face turns smug, and it's so familiar-

The eyes-!

“Yes, those are really mine”

“You-!” Peter wants to punch him.

“Me?” Elias already closes his eyes expecting a punch. Yet he side steps the desk, comes closer and pulls him up to his feet by his tie.

“If you- you want to choke me-” He shuts him with a kiss. It takes a bit to register on the other’s mind because once he does he grips his hair and pulls them closer practically melting against him. Peter doesn't stop kissing him, cnat.

“You twat-” In between kisses he curses him out, he was making the rounds across his neck, decided that he was going to leave pretty little marks for everyone to see. Elias? James? Doesn't seem to mind much.

“Sorry-”

“You- fucking- bloody- ass!!” A bite close to the jugular has him moan a bit, Peter’s hands go to grip his thighs and the other catches his meaning because he lets him lift him up. He carries him to the small couch and drops him there with an ompf-

“Hey-” That he interrupts when he climbs on top of him and starts to kiss him again with a very clear intention in mind.

“Oh…” Yes, Peter is glad he can use forsaken to soundproof the room, he had no intentions to let the other be quiet.

Now that he is not upset, angry or… turned on, Peter lays his head on top of Elias' chest, while he explains the whole being Jonah Magnus, and thinks that he is very handsome.

Not in the same way as James was, no, but he was still very handsome.

“I was leaning more into pretty but unassuming, but thank you for the vote of confidence for the new body” What a smug prick.

“He is not…?”

“God no, only fragments or echos, the real Elias is very dead, its just me”

“Jonah?” Elias nods at his question.

“Basically”

“Huh” The shorter man’s hands play with his hair making him nuzzle his neck. He thinks about it for a bit, but decides to go for it, after all he has gotten this far anyways “Pleasure to meet you Jonah”

The other stays quiet for a bit.

“Pleasure to meet you Peter”

Their relationship is not conventional or normal by anyone's standards, but…

It works.

Somewhat.

“So… I got you so distracted you forgot to tell me huh?” Elias sighs.

“I can show you exactly how enticing you looked to me to make me forget, do not tempt me” Feeling his face heat up he tries to play it off.

“Maybe when we are in an actual bed and want to experiment a bit” Elias chuckles and then turns into a full blown laugh that makes him feel the rumble of it against his ear.

“I can't believe this, but i missed you” He hears Elias heart speed up while admitting that to him, it makes his face warm up.

Peter knows he missed him too, but he wont admit that, too out of character. So instead...

“Will take that with me, feels delicious”

“Oh hush, you already cannibalized yourself, don't be a prick”

Yes, he definetly missed this bastard and he will have so much fun re-aquitaining to him properly. They are closer in age now, Peter’s body is a bit older than Elias now, just 6 years, but it feels good.

This time people will give Elias looks instead of him, Peter’s gray hair and beard made him look older.

“You are impossible Peter”

“Stop reading my mind then” Elias sighs and kisses the top of his head hesitantly.

“Don't make it so easy then” Peter lets out a breath.

Prick.

"Never"

"Rude, what a rude person you are" Peter nuzzles him and that shuts him up.

Better.

[rhosyn-du]

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Five

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Five

Jace worried that things would be weird when they got back home. He and Simon hadn’t spoken since New Year’s. He’d thought about texting, had in fact written and deleted at least a dozen texts over the next three days, but he never actually sent one. After all, Simon was the one who left without a word, and Jace wasn’t the kind of guy who chased after a hookup who wasn’t interested.

But when he finally got back to the apartment, it wasn’t weird at all.

He arrived home late afternoon the day before classes were due to start again to find Simon and Maia on the couch playing Overcooked. Simon glanced away from the game just long enough to tell Jace there was pizza in the kitchen if he wanted some, and that was it. The three of them spent the rest of the evening gaming, Simon acting like nothing at all had happened and Jace trying to convince himself that it didn’t bother him in the slightest. If Maia noticed anything, she didn’t let on.

The beginning of the new term was busy enough that they didn’t see each other much over the next few days, and Jace threw himself into his new classes with an enthusiasm he usually reserved for more hedonistic pursuits. Thursday night found him at his desk, deeply immersed in his world history reading. He was in the middle of a very dry passage on the Byzantine-Norman wars when he heard a light knock on his bedroom door.

“What is it?” he answered, not looking up from his book.

“Hey,” Simon said, opening the door. “I was just wondering what you were doing tonight.”

Jace looked up from his book only to have his brain come to a screeching halt. Simon was standing in his doorway, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. A small towel. It was disturbingly reminiscent of that first week living together, when Jace had realized exactly how hot Simon was. Except now he knew what it felt like to touch Simon, to kiss him, knew how he liked to have his dick stroked and the noises he made when he came.

With great effort, Jace snapped his eyes up to Simon’s face. Simon, who was still talking like nothing at all was off about him just strolling into Jace’s bedroom mostly naked.

“Because I don’t have any plans, and I was thinking maybe you might want to do something. You know, if you’re free.”

There were many things Jace wanted to do, all of which involved divesting Simon of that towel.

“Were you planning to put pants on?” Jace was proud of how level he managed to keep his voice.

The look Simon gave him was somewhere between flirtatious and challenging. “Do you want me to?”

He didn’t. He really didn’t, but he also didn’t know what the hell was going on, and while Jace would never say he didn’t knowingly walk headlong into bad choices on a regular basis, he tried not to make the same mistake twice. Three times, tops.

“Simon,” Jace said levelly, “what are you doing?”

“Seducing you?” Simon seemed to deflate a little. “Or, you know, failing to seduce you, apparently.”

“Not exactly failing,” Jace admitted, standing to move closer to Simon, who gave him a tiny, hopeful smile. “But I thought you said this was a mistake.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about it,” Simon said, “and maybe I was wrong.”

Hope rose like a cresting wave inside Jace’s chest, and he struggled to keep it from sweeping him away. “I had fun on New Year’s.”

“Me too,” Simon said, taking a tentative step closer. “Like, a lot. And I was thinking, you know, we’re obviously into each other, so maybe it wasn’t a mistake. Wouldn’t be a mistake.”

Jace found himself nodding. This could end in disaster, probably would end in disaster if his life thus far were any indication, but standing here with Simon so close, his smile so bright, Jace thought maybe it was worth the risk.

“I mean, as long as you’re not seeing anyone else,” Simon said quickly, and that rising swell of hope crashed like shattering glass. “Because I don’t really—”

“I get it,” Jace interrupted. He didn’t actually need a detailed explanation of why Simon was only interested in hooking up with him until someone better came along. It was all anyone ever wanted from him, and most of the time it was what he wanted, too. “We’re both hot and single, so as long as neither of us is seeing anyone, there’s no reason we can’t have fun together.”

Simon’s brows furrowed, and for a second Jace worried that he hadn’t managed to hide his disappointment, but then Simon was smiling at him again. “Yeah, of course. That’s exactly what I meant.”

“In that case,” Jace said, taking the last step that put him firmly inside Simon’s personal space, “my answer to your earlier question is no.” When Simon started to frown, he clarified, “I don’t want you to put your pants on.”

“Good,” Simon said, leaning in so that their lips just barely brushed as he spoke, “because I’d much rather take yours off.”

Their mouths met in a kiss that was surprisingly gentle, and Jace had to pull away after only a few seconds because of how much he wanted.

“Do you think we can make it to a bed this time?”

Simon glanced over at Jace’s bed, as though he were seriously contemplating the answer to that question. “I think we can probably manage.”

“Good,” Jace said, catching Simon’s gaze and holding it. “Because I really want to suck you, and you’re not going to be able to stay standing when I do.”

Simon kissed him, hard and fast. “If you keep talking like that, we definitely won’t make it to the bed.”

It took them far longer than it should have to make it across the room, mostly because Simon seemed intent on making sure Jace wasn’t wearing any more than he was by the time they got there, but Jace eventually felt the backs of his knees connect with the edge of the bed and pulled Simon with him as he tumbled into it. They landed in an awkward sprawl, half-laughing into the kiss they refused to break as Jace tugged at the towel that was somehow still knotted around Simon’s waist.

Simon made one of those soft, desperate noises that Jace was quickly becoming addicted to as the towel fell away, and Jace stroked a hand up Simon’s thigh, just high enough to tease. He left it there, unmoving, as he deepened their kiss, licking into Simon’s mouth with intent.

It didn’t take long until Simon’s hips were moving, trying to find friction for his rapidly hardening cock. It took only a few seconds longer for him to realize Jace was doing it on purpose.

“Should’ve known you’d be like this,” Simon said between kisses. “Just as much of a dick in bed as you are everywhere else.”

“Not much of an insult, considering that you like my dick,” Jace answered, finally moving his hand to trail lightly up the length of Simon’s cock, eliciting a shaky gasp. “Consider this payback for coming in here in nothing but a damn towel.”

“Oh, that’s how it’s going to be, huh?”

That was all the warning Jace got before he found himself on his back, hands pinned to the bed above his head, Simon straddling his thighs. He flexed his arms experimentally, determined he probably could get free with enough effort and also that he really didn’t want to.

He cocked an eyebrow at Simon. “What are you going to do with me now that you’ve got me?”

Simon swallowed hard. “So much,” he said seriously. “You said you want to suck me and that works out because I kind of really want your mouth, but first I’m going to show you what happens when you’re a tease.”

“You’re one to talk about teasing. Do you ever bother to take clothes into the bathroom with you when you shower?”

Anything else Jace might have said was lost in a startled gasp as Simon’s mouth closed over his left nipple, a swirl of tongue punctuated by a sharp nip of teeth. Simon repeated the treatment on the right, and it was enough for Jace’s hips to give a tiny, involuntary jerk. Against nothing at all, since Simon was sitting far enough back to keep him from getting any kind of friction.

Jace managed to bite back the frustrated whine that wanted to escape. He wouldn’t give Simon the satisfaction.

“I wasn’t sure you noticed,” Simon said, before returning his attention to Jace’s nipples, and it took Jace several seconds to remember what they were even talking about. When he finally did, he lost any hope he’d had of keeping quiet. Simon had thought about whether Jace was watching him, had maybe wanted Jace to watch him. And that was…that was a lot.

“Fuck,” Jace gasped. His hips were moving again, unable to keep still. “Fuck, Simon.”

“Hmm?” Simon asked innocently as he finally ceased his assault on Jace’s nipples. “Something I can do for you?”

“You could try not being such a—” His words were cut off, lost into the ether with any possibility of coherent thought as Simon’s teeth sank into the skin just beneath his clavicle, hard enough to leave behind a pleasant ache. He wondered if there would be any hint of a mark left by morning. He hoped there would be.

Jace let his head fall back against the bed, baring his neck in invitation. Simon’s hands weren’t pinning his to the bed anymore so much as holding them. Simon seemed happy to take him up on his invitation, worshiping Jace’s neck with tongue and teeth, and finally sucking a deliberate mark into his skin, just above his collarbone, where it wouldn’t be obvious unless he wanted it to be.

“Simon, please.”

“Please, what?” Simon asked, all amused faux-innocence. “I can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell me what it is.”

“Want you,” Jace growled, finally breaking free from Simon’s grip to tangle a hand in his hair and drag him into an impatient kiss. Simon kissed back, just as desperate, and made absolutely no protest when Jace pulled their hips together to finally get some friction. The kiss slowed, no less wanting, but a little less frantic as they rocked together.

“You have me,” Simon murmured against his mouth, and Jace shuddered with the weight of those words, with how much he wanted them to mean so much more than Simon intended them. But he did have Simon now, and he was going to make the most of it. Which reminded him that he’d gone into this with a plan.

Simon made a noise of protest when Jace pulled away but quieted immediately as Jace moved down his body, tongue following the line of dark hair that led from his chest down to his belly button. He got distracted there for a minute, tracing the lines of Simon’s abs with his tongue, reveling in the way the skin tensed and relaxed under his mouth.

“What did I tell you about teasing?” Simon asked, breathless.

“Don’t remember,” Jace lied, sliding down so that his breath ghosted over Simon’s cock, making his hips jerk. “But you seem pretty into it.”

He didn’t give Simon the chance to respond, sliding his mouth over Simon’s cock and taking him down to the hilt in one smooth motion, swallowing around the head. It was almost too much, too quick, and Jace had to fight back his gag reflex, but it was totally worth it for Simon’s broken-sounding, “Holy shit.”

Jace backed off, tonguing at Simon’s slit and sucking at the head of his dick before sliding back down, then repeating the pattern. It wasn’t the first time he’d deep-throated a guy, but it wasn’t something he had a ton of practice with either, much as he enjoyed it, and he knew better than to rush himself. It got easier every time he took Simon into the back of his throat, spurred on as he was by Simon’s near-incoherent stream of curses and praise. He lost himself in the sound of Simon’s voice, the weight of him on his tongue, the taste of him as he leaked steadily into his mouth.

After a few minutes, Jace realized that Simon was holding back, thighs trembling with the effort of keeping his hips still, one hand fisted in the sheets beside Jace’s head. Jace pulled off Simon’s cock with an audible ‘pop,’ and Simon’s whole body jerked.

Jace met his eyes. “You don’t have to be gentle with me.”

Simon opened his mouth, closed it again, stunned into silence for once.

To illustrate his point, Jace took Simon’s hand from where it was tangled in the sheets and placed it on his head. “I don’t want you to be gentle.”

“Not gentle,” Simon repeated, eyes dark and steady as his hand tightened in Jace’s hair. “I can do that.”

Jace lowered his head back to Simon’s dick, never breaking eye contact, letting the head just rest against his parted lips. Simon gave a shallow, experimental thrust, and Jace moaned around him, relaxing his throat so he could take him deeper. Simon thrust again, and Jace let his eyes flutter closed as Simon began to fuck his mouth in earnest.

“Fuck,” Simon panted. “Do you even know…know what you look like right now? Like, you’re always hot, but this is just…fuck. Wish you could see yourself. Wish I could have you like this all the time, except…except I’m definitely not going to last that long, and you’re just. Fuck, Jace, you’re perfect.”

Jace would have been embarrassed by the noise he made at Simon’s words, except that Simon seemed very into it, thrusts picking up speed as he continued in a broken voice, “Oh god, you— So good. I can’t— Shit. Your mouth—”

With a half-voiced gasp that might have been Jace’s name, Simon thrust deep one last time and came in hot spurts down Jace’s throat. Jace swallowed it all, dizzy from arousal and lack of air. He didn’t think he’d ever been this turned on in his life.

And then Simon was tugging Jace up by his hair, kissing him hard and deep like he couldn’t get enough of the taste of himself in Jace’s mouth.

“Perfect,” Simon repeated as his hand closed around Jace’s cock, and all Jace could do was hold onto him and make desperate noises that he would absolutely deny later into Simon’s mouth as Simon expertly jerked him off. It would have been embarrassing how quickly he came, except that Jace was beyond embarrassment, beyond anything but the feel of Simon’s hand, his body, his mouth.

After, they lay together a while longer, exchanging lazy kisses until it became so much that Jace had to pull away. He couldn’t let himself get used to this.

Simon watched him, that tiny thoughtful furrow that Jace found so endearing forming between his brows. When he opened his mouth to speak, Jace cut him off.

“I was thinking, if we order Chinese now, we’ll have just enough time to wash up before it gets here. And after, I want to ride you until you can’t remember anything but my name.”

“I…” Simon blinked at him. “I think I am literally incapable of turning that down.”

“Cool.” Jace rolled off the bed, refusing to look back at Simon, all sex-tousled and sweaty in his bed. “I’ll grab the takeout menu.”

~~~

The Hunter’s Moon was busy for a Tuesday night. Not packed like it would be on the weekend, but definitely more than the usual crowd. Rock Solid Panda wasn’t a big enough name to draw a huge audience, but it was clear they were finally starting to make a name for themselves. It probably helped that they’d finally decided on and stuck with a name for more than two gigs.

Maia was working tonight, and Jace joined Lily and Bat at the bar so they could chat with her when she wasn’t too busy with other customers. It was the first time they’d all hung out together since they got back from break, and Jace had been both looking forward to and dreading the show. Looking forward to it because, despite anything he might say to the contrary, he’d actually kind of missed his friends. Dreading it because his friends knew him, knew Simon, and he really didn’t want to have the conversation he knew would happen if they figured out he and Simon were sleeping together. He wasn’t sure which would be worse, them making the same assumption they had in the coffee shop, that he and Simon were actually together, or them recognizing what was actually going on and knowing that Simon could so much better than Jace, realizing that Jace was willing to take whatever Simon would give him.

“You starting with beer or vodka tonight?” Maia asked as he slid onto a stool.

“Beer,” Jace answered. “I’ve got eight a.m. Latin this semester.”

“I don’t know what’s worse,” Lily told him, “that you insist on studying a dead language for fun, that you’re willing to be in class at eight in the morning to do it, or that you’re letting it keep you from getting properly drunk at your best friend’s show.”

“I took Latin in high school, and it just makes sense to stick with it for my language requirement, and Simon isn’t my best friend.”

“Oh, sorry,” Lily said, “your fake boyfriend’s show. Speaking of, seems like none of us has won that bet, yet. I’m impressed.” She looked up at Maia, who set a frothing pint in front of Jace. “Unless you’ve been holding out on us, Roberts.”

“Nope,” Maia said, shaking her head. “They both made it through the entire break without my assistance.”

“We’re proud of you, buddy,” Bat said, patting his shoulder.

“Oh, fuck off,” Jace said. “We were fine. Minimal family drama, and Simon charmed the hell out of my entire family.”

Maia’s eyebrows climbed almost to her hairline. “Even Maryse?” She’d never actually met Jace’s adoptive mother, but she’d heard more than her share of stories.

“Even Maryse,” Jace confirmed. “I think starting dating again has mellowed her out a little.”

At Lily’s prompting, Jace gave an abbreviated—and entirely sanitized—rundown of his visit home. Maia gave him an odd look when he mentioned Magnus’s party, but she didn’t say anything. Jace brushed it off, but it left him with an unsettled feeling.

“Hey, you,” Maia said to someone behind them just as Jace was finishing up his story.

“Hey,” Simon said. Jace could hear the smile in his voice even before he spun around to face him. “We just finished setting up and wanted to come say hi before we start our set. Becky says ‘hi back,’ by the way,” he told Maia.

“Did she say anything else?” Maia asked hopefully.

“Nope,” Simon said. “Well, she told me to stop being dumb when I suggested she, you know, actually talk to you. You guys know that’s an option, right? Talking to each other directly?”

Maia ignored him, turning to Maureen. “Excited about the big show?”

“Holy shit, you guys,” Maureen said, her own smile tempered by just a hint of panic, “there are so many people here.”

“Yeah, because you guys are awesome,” Maia said. “Seriously, you deserve this.”

“It’s true,” Lily said. “I don’t even like indie rock normally, but you guys are alright.”

“Ooh, ‘alright,’” Simon repeated archly. “High praise from the great Lily Chen.”

“And you better bask in it,” Lily told him. “It’s a shame you didn’t get here a little sooner. You just missed Jace telling us all about your New Year’s adventure.”

Simon’s eyebrows shot up. “Wh-what?” He threw a panicked look at Jace, who could only give a tiny head shake.

“Yeah,” Bat said. “We heard you got your ass kicked at Land Mines.”

“We lost by one shot!” Simon protested, visibly relaxing despite his scowl.

“Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades,” Jace told him, smirking.

“Really,” Simon said, turning to look at Jace with a calm intensity that Jace had gotten to know very well over the past several days, one that had his dick twitching with interest. “I’ll remember that.”

“Let me know if you need a reminder,” Jace said, leaning back against the bar. He saw Simon’s eyes flick to his collarbone, where the fading mark he’d left was just visible above the open collar of Jace’s shirt. It was light enough now that no one looking at it would know what it was at a glance, but Jace knew. And more importantly, Simon knew.

“I don’t think I’m the one who needs a reminder,” Simon said, and Jace had to actively suppress a shiver.

“Anyway,” Maureen said pointedly, giving them both a dubious look, “we should probably get back on stage. We’re on in five minutes.”

“Right,” Simon said, tearing his gaze away from Jace. “Playing music. That thing that we’re doing in front of, wow, so many people.” His grin was back as he looked at Maureen. “Holy shit.”

“Holy shit!” she agreed, pulling him toward the stage.

“I’d ask what that was about,” Lily said, “but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.”

“No idea what you’re talking about,” Jace said, sipping his beer nonchalantly.

“Wow,” Bat said. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re kind of a shitty liar?”

“If Jace had to explain every time he did something weird, he’d never stop talking,” Maia said, and Jace wasn’t sure whether to be offended or grateful. He was saved from having to decide by Simon stepping up to the mic and introducing the band.

Rock Solid Panda’s set was mostly music Jace knew, mostly their early songs with a few covers thrown in. As they played, Jace found himself paying less attention to the music and more to the way Simon’s hands moved as he played, the way he lost himself in the music. It wasn’t the first time Jace had found himself watching Simon, but it was the first time he let himself keep doing it.

“So, this last song is new,” Simon said. Over the course of their set, the crowd had gone quiet. “I just finished writing it a few days ago, and we’ve only played it a couple times in practice, so it might be a little rough. But, um. Well, I hope you like it. This one’s called Random Afternoon.”

As Simon plucked out the opening notes, Jace recognized it as something he’d heard vague snippets of over the past couple weeks, just the guitar line as Simon worked through it in his room. This was the first time he’d heard any of the lyrics, though.

It was a love song. Melodic and melancholic, it spoke of a love that didn’t sweep you off your feet but bloomed in a thousand tiny, mundane moments. A love that started as the faintest flicker and grew to a consuming inferno before you realized you were in danger of getting burned. A love that was wholly unrequited, because those moments didn’t mean the same thing to them as they did to you.

Jace drained the last of his beer, trying to settle the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t jealousy. He didn’t get jealous. It was just a song, and he and Simon weren’t even together really, so even if Simon was harboring feelings for someone he couldn’t have, it wasn’t any of Jace’s business.

He turned to the bar, intending to ask for another drink—something stronger this time, maybe—only to find Maia already there, sliding a glass of water over to him. He raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Don’t be stupid,” she told him, shaking her head like she knew exactly what he was thinking. Maybe she did. She was the only person he’d ever talked to about…any of this. But at least last time she’d given him tequila.

He looked back to the stage, sipping his water and wishing he’d insisted on tequila.

~~~

“Thanks for staying and helping us get all the equipment loaded back in the van,” Simon said when they got back to the apartment several hours later. “You didn’t have to, and I know you’ve got early class tomorrow.”

“It was wholly self-serving,” Jace told him. He still felt unsettled and far too sober. “You would have woken me up when you got home, anyway, and it would have taken you longer without my help.”

“Well, whatever your reasons, I appreciate it,” Simon said. “I still can’t believe so many people showed up.”

“I can,” Jace said, shrugging out of his jacket and tossing it over the back of the couch. “You played a good show.”

“You really think so?” Simon looked genuinely surprised, and it only added to Jace’s feeling of disquiet.

“Yeah,” Jace said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It should have been. Maybe he wasn’t as effusive in his praise as Bat or Maia, but he’d been to basically all of Rock Solid Panda’s shows over the past two years. “You put a lot of yourself into your music.”

As soon as the words were out of Jace’s mouth, he was thinking of the new song Simon had played. Maybe he’d been thinking about it the whole time. From the way Simon froze, Jace knew he’d hit a nerve.

“Sometimes,” Simon said. “But not always,” he added quickly. “Sometimes, I write songs about, like, random thoughts that come into my head, or stuff that’s happened to other people, or, you know, Maureen and I even collaborate on writing sometimes, so some of the songs are hers.” Simon was babbling. He was kind of a terrible liar.

“It was a compliment,” Jace said with an amusement he didn’t feel. “You should learn how to take one.”

“Oh,” Simon said. “Right.” He forced a smile that almost looked genuine. “Thank you.”

Jace shook his head. “I give that a C-plus at best. Come on, you can do better than that.”

“You know what?” Simon said, raising his chin. “I take it back. I shouldn’t be thanking you, because Rock Solid Panda is awesome, and our music is awesome, and you should be complimenting us, like, all the time.”

“That’s more like it,” Jace said, grinning.

“No, now I just sound like you,” Simon said, shaking his head.

“Exactly.” Because I’m awesome and people should be complimenting me all the time.”

Simon gave him an unimpressed look. “Remind me why I’m friends with you again?”

“We literally just went over this,” Jace said, lounging against the wall. “Because I’m awesome and people should—”

“Oh my god, stop talking,” Simon said, but he was obviously fighting back a smile now. “Seriously.”

“You going to make me?” Jace challenged, and this was probably the kind of thing Maia meant when she told him not to be stupid, because he knew now that Simon was in love with someone else. Or hung up on someone, anyway. And Jace was at least honest enough with himself to know that he was just asking to get hurt if he kept having sex with a guy he was maybe into as more than just a friend with benefits who didn’t feel the same way about him.

He was also honest enough with himself to know he was going to do it, anyway.

Simon shook his head. “Nope. That’ll just encourage you.”

“See, you say that.” Jace stretched his arms above his head, very deliberately arching his back and making his shirt ride up to reveal a sliver of skin above the waistband of his jeans. “But this is totally doing it for you.”

“I really kind of hate you sometimes,” Simon said without heat before stalking over and pinning Jace’s still-raised wrists to the wall above his head.

“Oh yeah?” Jace said, rolling his hips shamelessly against Simon’s. “Why don’t you show me how much?”

The kiss was hard and bruising, Simon’s body pressing him into the wall like he was trying to erase every millimeter of space between them. Jace kissed back just as hard, exerting just enough pressure with his arms to make a show of protest, but not nearly enough to break Simon’s hold. Maybe he’d never be the kind of guy Simon wrote love songs about, but like this, he knew what Simon wanted, what he liked, and he planned to give it to him.

They were both breathing hard when Simon broke the kiss to say, “Bedroom, now.”

“Yeah,” Jace agreed, a little dazed.

“Mine, not yours,” Simon added seriously. “I want you in my bed.” He put just a little more pressure on Jace’s wrists before releasing them entirely.

Jace felt like all the air had been punched out of his lungs. They hadn’t actually done anything in Simon’s room. They mostly ended up in Jace’s room, or on the couch, and there had been that one time in the bathroom when they had decisively concluded their shower was not big enough for anything other than getting clean. But never in Simon’s room, and the idea that he wanted Jace there, in his bed, made something inside Jace tremble.

Simon didn’t give him time to dwell on it, kissing him again before turning to walk down the hall toward his room, expecting Jace to follow. Knowing Jace would, probably, because somewhere along the line Jace had apparently lost any ability he once had to say no to Simon.

As soon as he made it to the bedroom, Simon was kissing him again, deep and filthy and full of promise as he quickly and efficiently divested Jace of his shirt and pants.

“Eager,” Jace observed as he kicked free of the pants that had pooled around his ankles, leaving him in nothing but a pair of black boxer-briefs.

“You wanted me to show you how much I hate you,” Simon said. His smile and tone were teasing, but there was something else in his eyes that Jace couldn’t quite identify. “So that’s what I’m doing. Get on the bed.”

Jace made a show of stretching out on the bed, reveling in how Simon followed his every move with his eyes.

“You just planning to look?” he asked when Simon made no move to follow him.

“You kinda deserve it,” Simon said, pulling off his own shirt. “But no.” He kicked off his pants and crawled up the bed until they were face to face, his knees bracketing Jace’s hips. “Because you’re right. This totally does it for me.”

He leaned down to bring their mouths together, and it was slow and gentle in a way Jace wasn’t expecting, wasn’t prepared for, and he felt like he was being unraveled by it, all the loose threads that made up the tangled mess that was Jace being pulled apart by Simon’s lips and tongue and breath.

“Here’s how this is going to go,” Simon told him, mouthing along the skin of his jaw. He took one of Jace’s hands and wrapped his fingers around the slats of the headboard, then did the same with the other hand. “You’re going to keep your hands right here like this, and I’m going to fuck you, and you’re going to take it.”

As close as they were, there was no hiding Jace’s full-body shiver at Simon’s words, no hiding just how much he wanted, but he still put on a cocky smile and gave his best shot at seeming unaffected. “Bossy. What makes you think I’m just going to go along with it?”

“Because you like me bossy,” Simon said, running his hands up Jace’s arms from his shoulders to where his hands still gripped the headboard and grinning down at him. “This is totally doing it for you.”

Jace’s denial was cut off by Simon reaching a hand down to cup his cock through his underwear, thumb dragging across fabric wet with pre-come. Jace bucked up into the touch, gasping. His hands stayed where they were.

Simon’s grin was smug as he hooked his fingers in the waistband of Jace’s boxer-briefs and pulled them down and off in a single motion. Jace made a soft noise—half relief, half impatience—as his cock sprang free from its confines to lie hard and leaking against his abdomen.

Simon’s smugness turned to something almost like awe as he sat back on his heels and just looked, and Jace started to feel that unraveling sensation again even as his cock twitched under the weight of Simon’s appreciation.

Jace licked his lips. “If you want me to take it, you’re going to have to give it to me.”

“I’d tell you to be patient, but I know that’s a lost cause,” Simon said, reaching over to grab condoms and lube from his nightstand. This meant leaning over Jace, close enough that Jace could feel the heat of Simon’s body, but still not quite touching. Until Jace rocked his hips up, rutting against Simon’s hip for the few glorious seconds it took Simon to pull back.

Simon sat back on his heels once again, his free hand moving to Jace’s hip and pressing it firmly into the mattress as he gave him an unimpressed look.

Jace smirked back. “I wouldn’t need to be patient if you weren’t taking your damn time about it.”

“You say things like that,” Simon said, uncapping the lube, “but I don’t think you’ve really considered the full implications of what you’re asking for.” He poured some lube out into his palm, coating his hand, before moving the bottle to spill directly onto Jace’s dick.

“Fuck, fuck.” Jace arched off the bed from the unexpected cold, and before he could even find the words to tell Simon what an absolute asshole he was, the cold was replaced with the heat and delicious pressure of Simon’s hand.

“And anyway,” Simon said, continuing to stroke Jace’s cock with one hand while the lube-slick fingers of his other hands circled Jace’s hole, “this is supposed to be about how much I hate you.” He pressed one finger just inside, teasing Jace’s rim. “So I’m going to take exactly as long as I want to.”

Then that finger slid all the way in, and for a while Jace’s entire world narrowed down to the feel of Simon’s fingers—around him, inside him—and the sound of Simon’s voice, teasing and praising in turn.

“God, look at you.” Simon had three fingers inside him, and Jace had long since lost the ability to form coherent words. Or do anything, really, besides cling to the headboard and writhe under Simon’s touch.

“You’re so hot like this.” He curled his fingers, stroking over Jace’s prostate for what must have been the hundredth time. “And everyone thinks they know how hot you are, but they don’t because most of them haven’t seen you like this, and that’s almost a kind of tragedy except that I do get to see you like this.” He sounded almost as wrecked as Jace felt. “I get to make you like this.”

“Simon,” Jace gasped, and he wasn’t sure whether it was Simon’s words or the curl of his fingers that brought him there.

“Okay,” Simon breathed. “Okay, yeah.” And then Simon was taking his hands away and Jace let out a desperate whine because Simon going away was the last thing he wanted.

“Shh,” Simon soothed as he tugged off his own underwear and fumbled open the condom wrapper. “I’m not going anywhere.” He dropped a quick kiss on Jace’s knee, then leaned back again so he could roll the condom on and slick up his cock. “I promise.”

“Don’t want promises,” Jace said, managing to drag the words out from somewhere. “Just want you in me already.”

Simon let out a faint growl, and then he was hooking Jace’s knees over his shoulders, pinning Jace to the bed with his own body, pushing into him in a single, relentless stroke.

“This what you wanted?” Simon asked when his hips sat flush against Jace’s ass.

It was. God, it was.

“Want you to move,” Jace said.

Simon did, fucking Jace like he wanted to break him, kissing him like he wanted to own him. It was everything, and Jace took it. Because Simon told him to. Because he wanted to.

“Feels so good,” Simon panted. “God, Jace, I just—”

He reached a hand between them to wrap around Jace’s cock, stroking in time with his thrusts, and Jace keened.

“Come for me,” Simon said. “I want to feel you come for me, baby.”

Jace didn’t know whether it was the command or the endearment that pushed him over the edge, but he was shaking apart with Simon’s next upstroke, spilling between their bodies as Simon swallowed the desperate sounds of his release. Simon fucked him through it, not slowing until Jace was trembling on the edge of overstimulation.

“Don’t stop,” Jace told him. “I can take it.”

“Jace—” Simon’s voice was wary, but Jace could feel how much he wanted in the way his body trembled, the way his hips never quite stopped moving.

“Want you to come with your dick inside me,” Jace said, locking his ankles around Simon’s back. “Please.”

“Fuck,” Simon swore as he started moving in earnest again. “How are you even real?”

Jace wanted to respond with something pithy and clever, but he’d lost all capacity for words, for thought as Simon fucked into him, chasing his own pleasure. It teetered on the edge of too much, would be too much if Jace let it, and all he had it in him to do was hang on until finally Simon’s hips lost their rhythm and Jace felt his dick pulsing inside him as he whispered nonsensical words of affection into the skin of Jace’s shoulder.

They lay like that for what felt like an eternity, yet still not enough time at all, until Simon finally sighed and pulled his softening cock out to deal with the condom. He looked at Jace as he tied it off and tossed it in the trash.

“You can let go now,” Simon told him. When Jace just frowned in confusion, he leaned over and tapped Jace’s biceps, grinning.

Jace felt himself flush as he uncurled his fingers from the headboard and lowered his arms, rolling his shoulders to ease the faint ache. He’d forgotten he was even still holding on. He wracked his brain for something to say, anything that would save him from having to think about how easy it had been to do what Simon told him to do, how much he’d wanted to.

“So, you hate me that much, huh?”

Simon’s bark of laughter was incredulous. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, exactly that much.” There was that look in his eyes again, the one Jace couldn’t place, but Simon tore his gaze away before he could tease it out.

“You could stay in here tonight,” Simon said with deliberate casualness, and Jace felt his heart stutter in his chest. “You know, if you want.”

He wanted it so much it was almost a physical ache.

“I’ve got early class,” he said instead. He was keenly aware of all those loose threads Simon had inadvertently spent the last couple hours pulling apart, ready to unravel him completely with just the right tug. He rolled out of Simon’s bed. “I’m just going to take a quick shower and head to bed.”

“Sure,” Simon said. “Of course. That makes total sense. Um. Sleep well.”

“Yeah, you too,” Jace said, grabbing his clothes from the floor as an excuse not to look at Simon. He knew he wouldn’t be able to say no if Simon asked again.

Simon didn’t.

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

Just Me and You - Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Pairing: Rio Alvarez x Black!Plus size!Oc

Summary: Simone Dunn is a singer just trying to live her best life and make it through the obstacles that have been put in front of her. Living life in the city isn’t always easy. Life might be kicking her in the ass presently, but she kept a smile on her face regardless. Rio Alvarez is all about his business. He’s expanding up and out of just the money laundering business. He wanted it all. He was hooked from the second he heard her voice, but will her past and his enemies let them be together?

Warning(s): None really. It’s a meet-cute. They meet, it’s cute. 

Word count: 2,026

Author’s Note: I’m not gonna lie, this story means a lot to me. I was never sure if I’d start posting it or not. Simone has been an OC of mine for a long time now and when the idea to pair her with Rio popped into my mind I knew it could be something very special. I hope you all enjoy the journey. As always questions, comments, and concerns are welcome! Might even start a tag list but we’ll see. Thanks for reading. xo

Rio stared out of the window, looking out at his investment. It had the perfect eye line for all the exits and it had the best view of the stage. Since he began flipping his game and moving up in the world he became acquainted with folks that had different tastes than him. The opportunity to invest in this club kind of fell in his lap. His new co-owner was a sloppy prick, but Rio couldn’t deny the club was bringing in a nice grip of money for him. He liked the anonymity of being a silent partner. Every two weeks he’d roll through, check up on the club, and collect some cash to put into his other businesses.

As he looked down at all the club goers, he was pleased to see the place was pretty packed. He was not happy to see the owner, Shaun, with two women on his arm. This wasn’t a social hour. He was here for business. Mick, his right hand man, was guarding the door and hadn’t moved an inch to let Shaun in. 

“Hey man. Place is poppin tonight right?” Shaun greeted Rio as he tried to maneuver past Mick who only moved at Rio’s nod. “Enjoying your night? These are a couple lady friends of mine. Say ‘hi’ ladies.”

“Hi.” The two girls parroted at Rio, waving at him.

Rio didn’t bother greeting the women. “Get rid of the bitches man.”

“What?” Shaun asked, his tone confused.

“I ain’t gonna tell you twice.” Rio’s face hadn’t changed. He just stared Shaun down.

Shaun cleared his throat and whispered something to the ladies before they shuffled back out of the room. It was quiet except for the sound of the music pumping through the speakers.

“My bad man. They were sexy as hell though right? Can you really blame me?” Shaun tried to excuse, a smile on his face as he walked over to where Rio was standing.

As soon as he was within arms reach, Rio gripped the back of his neck tightly and pulled him close. He stared directly in his eyes. “Don’t ever bring nobody to one of our meetings again. I choose to keep you on, but that can easily be changed. Get my money and stop fucking playing with me.”

Shaun merely nodded and Rio let go of him. Shaun tried adjusting his suit and cleared his throat. He walked over to the wall that was furthest from the window and opened a panel in the door. He put the code into the panel and opened it up. There was a silver case inside that he pulled out before closing the door back. “Business has been better than ever. I was able to add a permanent residency here that has us packed every week. We may even be able to up prices a bit.”

Rio’s eyebrow quirked in interest at the man’s words. “Permanent residency?”

Shaun had set the case on the table and Mick opened it, starting to count the money that was inside. Rio walked closer to take a look inside and noticed that there seemed to be a couple more stacks than usual.

“Yeah. I’m still having different live performers come in, but people also like consistency. They like knowing they’re coming to hear quality music. And the pipes on this one? Massive. Doesn’t hurt that she’s gorgeous too.”

Rio would never admit it but he was definitely intrigued. “Who is she?”

Shaun walked back over to the window and smirked as he looked down. “Simone Dunn. Lucky for you, you came at the perfect time.”

Rio noticed the club music had shut off and people were clapping. As he walked to stand next to Shaun, a slow instrumental was playing. A soft spotlight appeared on the stage and the crowd’s clapping intensified. A giggle was heard over the mic.

“Aww, y’all are too good to me.” The woman’s voice was clear as day, but had an alluring quality. She had big black hair falling over her shoulders in waves. Her dress was pink and it gave a tantalizing view of her breasts as well as her full figure. Her skin was creamy brown and the outline of her ass was particularly appealing to Rio.

“We’re starting off grown and sexy tonight y'all. So if you’re vibing with someone, gon’ head and pull ‘em a little closer. I’m just tryna help y’all possibly end the night on a good note, if you know what I mean.” She winked at the crowd and people laughed as others hollered and whistled.

A familiar beat reached Rio’s ears, taking him back to house parties in his old neighborhood. He remembered talking slick to a fine girl as she danced on him, knowing she was gon let him fuck by the end of the night.

I'll always think of you Inside of my private thoughts I can imagine you Touching my private parts And just the thought of you I can't help but touch myself That's why I want you so bad Just one night of

The sultry sound of her voice traveled from Rio’s ears straight to his dick. He watched as her hips moved side to side as she gripped the mic stand. She was a temptress, an enchantress. Hell, she was a siren and her song was the one calling him home. Home being the absolute treasure he was sure is hiding between her thighs. 

Can't get my mind off you I think I might be obsessed The very thought of you Makes me want to get undressed I want to be with you In spite of what my heart says I guess I want you too bad All I want is

Her eyes were locking onto different people in the crowd. She was working her magic on everyone. People were partnered up and there was lots of grinding happening on the dance floor. As she looked around, her eyes happened to dart up and land on his. She looked taken aback, but curious. She never once stopped singing and now it seemed like she was singing the words directly to him.

“She’s a beauty, ain’t she?” Shaun asked, but Rio ignored him. His eyes were still locked with Simone’s as she sang. A smile pulled at her lips and her cheeks felt hot so she pulled her eyes away from him to look back toward the crowd. She missed the quick smile that appeared on Rio’s face before he turned his back to the window.

“Have you had any trouble here? Fights? Anyone tryna shake you down?” Rio asked Shaun, who looked perplexed by the sudden topic shift.

“No. I would have called you right away. Like I said, things have been great. Should I be worried or on the lookout?” Shaun asked, his tone taking on a nervous quality.

“Nah, man. Just looking out for my investment. Enjoy your night with your lady friends.” Rio dismissed the other man and Shaun took the exit without hesitation.

“You think they know you got dealings in this place?” Mick asked, once Shaun was gone.

“No, but you can never be too careful.” Rio replied, eyes drifting back toward the stage. She had begun singing a new song. Something a bit more fast paced. “I wanna keep this place as legit as possible. We need something clean in case we run into some trouble. But I aint scared of them. I’ll deal with ‘em when the time’s right.”

Mick merely nodded his head as he finished up the count.

“Everything square?” At Mick’s confirmation, Rio walked over to him. “Go ahead and take everything back to the warehouse. Imma stay and check things out for a bit. Have a drink. I’ll call you in the morning.”

Rio headed down to the bar and got himself a shot of brandy. He nursed his drink as he finished listening to the performance going on. He was in the middle of texting some associates to set up meetings for the next week when applause broke out all around him. He looked up to see Simone walking towards the bar, blowing kisses as she went.

“Ji, baby! Please get me one last malibu pineapple and I’ll love you forever.” She exclaimed, taking a seat one away from Rio. He was watching her interaction with the bartender.

“You better already love me.” The bartender, Ji-hoon, retorted even as he went about making her drink.

“You know I do boo.” She winked, a wide grin on her face. “In fact, I love you so much that I’m leaving you a big tip tonight.”

“Are you trying to buy me? Cause I’m absolutely up for sale.” He smiled, sliding her drink over to her as he leaned on the bar. He glanced over at Rio and nodded his head towards him. “Hey, you need to be topped off?”

“Yeah, man.” Rio answered and Simone finally noticed him sitting there. Ji poured Rio another drink before getting distracted on the other side of the bar by other paying customers. 

Simone made eye contact with him before looking down at her drink and swishing the glass around.

“You have a beautiful voice, mama.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” She looked up at him with a smile on her face.

“Interesting choice of song too. I know a couple people here gotta be happy about the assist you gave them.” 

She laughed and shook her head. “Anything for my fans.”

“Anything?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Within reason.” She quickly added.

“So you’ll let me buy your drink, then.” 

It was her turn to raise an eyebrow and she turned around in her stool to face him, legs crossed and her silver heels shining. “So you’re a fan?”

“I am now.”

“I’ve had an open tab all night and I just promised Jian a big tip.”

“Okay.” He shrugged, and her eyes narrowed.

“And what do you want in return for so graciously picking up my tab?” 

A smirk appeared on Rio’s face and he slid one bar stool over to be closer to her. Their eyes never left one another. “I’d love to have a conversation with one of the sexiest women I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Her lights lit up in surprise and delight at his words. That soft smile of hers, returning to her face. “I guess I could swing that. So what’s your name?”

“It’s Rio, sweetheart. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Rio….I like it. I see you’re familiar with Shaun. Y’all friends or something?”

“Or something.” He answered, taking a sip of his drink.

“Or something. That’s not mysterious at all.” She joked.

“I aint no mystery baby. What you see is what you get.”

She snorted. “That’s what they all say.”

“Who?”

“Boys.” She retorted, finishing her drink.

“I’m all man and I’d love to demonstrate just how much of a man I am.” 

She looked back over to him and there was a delicious smirk on his face. No one man should be able to look like that. It’s too much power. “Tempting, but I have plans.”

“At 2 in the morning?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Is that judgment I hear in your tone Mr. ‘I-Can’t-Say-How-I-Know-Shaun?’”

Rio had to chuckle. “You got me there.”

She checked her phone and sighed at the time. “I gotta go, but it was nice meeting you Rio. Hope to see you again.” She then asked Ji-hoon to hand her the bag that was hidden behind the bar.

“You will.” He asserted, wondering why she didn’t use the employee lockers he remembered being installed. The thought was erased from his mind by her leaning into his personal space. His hand immediately went to her waist and his fingers grazed the top of her ass.

“I’m counting on it.” She whispered in his ear, before walking away and waving at a couple people as she went. He watched her the whole time and it wasn’t until she reached the exit that she turned her head to look back at him. He knew he had her.

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

stephanie perkins: ‘anna and the french kiss’

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Then again, if you’ve read any YA book, ever, it’s fairly obvious what’s going to happen.

I was going to go easy on this book; I really was. It’s really unfair how media aimed at a female demographic is seen as frivolous and vapid, and more often than not bashed and bullied when it comes to reviews. “People actually enjoy this crap?” ask the powers that be. “It’s worthless! Pulp! Dreamy-eyed nonsense only complete nimrods could ever like!”

And I take offense to that. There’s nothing wrong with liking romance or happy endings or stories about cute European boys. I was ecstatic when I stumbled across Anna and the French Kiss upon a chance trip to the bookstore. The cover was… meh (Century Gothic? Really? There were no other fonts?). But I’d heard nothing but praise about the book, and I was prepared to stay up all night and into the wee hours of the morning to finish it.

Admittedly, I was far from impressed upon the first reading. The characters were unlikable, the plot would’ve worked better for less shitty characters, honestly fuck these characters am I supposed to like them, fuck Anna, fuck Étienne, fuck Bridgette, fuck Toph, fuck Dave and Meredith and Amanda and Seany and every other stupid character in this stupid book.

The second time around, I expected to not hate it as much as I did when I first read it. It’s happened- I hated Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda when I first read it, and when I read it again, all that red-hot anger simmered down into an overall dislike. I thought To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before was trash at first, and then I read it again, and it got promoted to recyclable waste matter.

I found Anna and the French Kiss horrendous the first time I read it, and then I read it again, and… yeah, it’s still pretty awful.

Le Sommaire:

Anna Oliphant is a seventeen-year-old wannabe film critic who is #NotLikeOtherGirls – so she’s exactly like every other female YA lead. To her credit, she never explicitly says she’s special… everyone around her does.

She has a pretty meh life in Atlanta, Georgia with her mum and little bruv Sean- and then her dad decides to ship her off to France for her final year of high school. I’m not judging Anna for bawling her eyes out on her first day; I’m a huge mummy’s girl myself and I’d probably (definitely) do the same.

Meredith is Anna’s next-door neighbor, who does that thing which only happens in YA where she’s like “Oh, newbie? Let’s be friends!” (Or maybe it does happen irl and I tend to make a bad first impression which is why no one has ever approached me.)

Meredith’s friends are: Rashmi and Josh (who are a couple), and Étienne St. Clair. Guess which one is the love interest.

Étienne is cultured in that white person way where he’s half American, one quarter French and one quarter British. A true international.

But- *gasp*- American-British-French boy has a girlfriend, Ellie.

Anna has an absolutely gorgeous punk rocker (yum) boy with sideburns (yikes) back home named Christopher. Also, Christopher’s nickname is ‘Toph’ instead of ‘Chris’ because he too is #NotLikeOtherGirls. Anna tells us that nothing will happen between her and Étienne.

Anna is wrong.

Meredith has a crush on Étienne. So does the Regina George of the school, Amanda.

Étienne and Anna have some moments ™.

♫ Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but Anna ♫

I tear my hair out in frustration.

Several other white boys vie for Anna’s heart. Anna remains blissfully unaware (♫ that’s what makes you beautiful ♫). Étienne (who is still dating Ellie, mind you) is unreasonably agitated by this.

Étienne’s mum has cancer btw, which excuses all the shitty things he does, because he’s just a poor, misunderstood boy.

Ellie dresses up as a, quote unquote, ‘slutty nurse’ for Hallowe’en, though- so it’s perfectly okay to dislike her (even though, in the first interaction she had with Anna, where Ellie meets Anna and Étienne, after Étienne takes Anna to the movies, Ellie is perfectly sweet).

Anna, however, is NOT a slut. Amanda is, though. And Rashmi’s cold. And Meredith’s desperate. And Emily’s a slut, too. And her friend Bridgette from Atlanta is a traitor. Anna has an intense case of internalized misogyny.

Anna’s friend Bridgette from Atlanta is screwing Toph, and Anna throws a fit.

Étienne and Anna have some more moments ™.

A truly chaotic series of events befall Anna. She somehow winds up dating Dave (one from the harem of white boys who likes her) to spite Étienne, she gets into a fight with Amanda, more drama ensues, there’s a hint for a spinoff, Étienne and her kiss, Meredith sees and feels betrayed… several misunderstandings and more bullshit later, Étienne and Anna wind up together, because true love conquers all.

Mes Réflexions:

(If the French is off, blame Google Translate.)

Usually, it takes me half a page of my notebook to scribble down my thoughts about the book I’m reading. This motherfucker took me almost an entire page.

Granted, a solid 30% of those notes are me throwing insults at Étienne, but still. ‘STOP STOP STOP YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YOU DICK’ counts, right?

(That was #17 in my notes, by the way.)

For the record, I like Stephanie Perkins’s writing. It’s not as over-the-top and unnecessarily introspective as Jenny Han’s in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and the interactions between Anna and her classmates were natural and not the “How do you do, fellow kids?” style of Becky Albertalli’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda. The pacing is decent- I didn’t feel like it was too rushed; not the insta-love trope most YA romances unfortunately fall prey to.

And yet. AND YET.

Anna: “What’s your problem?” Amanda: “You.”

Same, Amanda, same.

Anna Oliphant is one of my least favorite leads in a book, ever. Étienne’s even shittier. And it’s not like Nick or Amy Dunne from Gone Girl, or any of the main characters from The Secret History, where readers pretty much unanimously hate them. You’re meant to relate to Anna, you’re meant to find Étienne charming and dreamy. I literally had to put the book away and calm myself down several times- especially in the last quarter of the book.

One of my main gripes with Anna is how… dumb she is. I guess Anna’s “Oopsies, silly me, I don’t know French!” is meant to be relatable to the readers. And some parts (like her not knowing how to order food because she can’t speak French) are plausible, but- sis, you didn’t know how to spell oui? And my idea of a cinematic masterpiece is Kung-Fu Panda, but even a dumbass like me knows that France is the film appreciation capital of the world. And yet Anna, a self-professed film freak, doesn’t?

Of course, Anna’s gorgeous, but she has no clue, because of course she doesn’t- even though she has multiple guys falling head over heels for her.

I’m in a short skirt. It’s the first time I’ve worn one here, but my birthday seems like the appropriate occasion. “Woo, Anna!” Rashmi fake-adjusts her glasses. “Why do you hide those things?”

Étienne is staring at my legs. The scales covering them throb under his intense gaze, and the pincers sticking out of my thighs start clicking rapidly in arousal. My hooves shiver in ecstasy.

… sorry, that’s not funny.

Her friends think Anna’s weird for wanting to write film reviews (which is the most contrived thing I’ve ever heard) instead of being the next Margot Robbie or whatever, but of course Étienne doesn’t and he thinks it’s not weird and cool and that Anna is such a special snowflake.

(Man, I sound like Amanda.)

And then we have this spiel by Anna about how she got into film critiquing (?), because we the readers need to know how special and #NotLikeOtherGirls Anna is.

To this, I say, “Piss off, you pretentious fuck.”

Of course, Anna’s a virgin and she’s never gotten drunk before or worn short skirts- she’s not a slut, she shaves below the knees only.

And would YA really be YA without several hearty helpings of internalized misogyny?

First up, we have the bimbo; the Barbie doll archetype whose only goal in life is acquiring the main guy (who is quite obviously uninterested in her), and making life hell for our protagonist. Amanda Whatsername (is she ever given a surname?) has this coveted role in Anna and the French Kiss. She’s blond (because of course she is); the first time we meet her, she’s in a, quote unquote, ‘teeny tank top’, and she also ‘positions herself for maximum cleavage exposure’. She’s always flipping her hair, getting her grubby paws on Étienne, giving Anna the stink-eye, being homophobic and a grade-A bitch.

Meredith goes batshit when Anna and Étienne kiss, and is very pouty and unhappy during prior Anna x Shittiene moments. Honey… he’s just not that into you. Rashmi’s the Ice Queen reincarnate and halfway to bitchdom. Anna doesn’t go as hard on them as she does on literally every other female her age in the book, though.

Rashmi looks at me for the first time, calculating whether or not I might fall in love with her own boyfriend.

Anna, hate to break it to you, but not everyone’s a possessive fucking weirdo.

About Cherrie, her ex-boyfriend Matt’s new girlfriend:

And maybe Cherrie isn’t as bad as I remember. Except she is. She totally is. After only five minutes in her company, I cannot fathom how Bridge stands sitting with her at lunch every day.

Her lifeless laugh is one of her lesser attributes. What does Matt see in her?

Even Bridgette, Anna’s best friend from Atlanta, isn’t immune to Anna’s anti-female propaganda. She’s screwing the guy Anna used to like, and Anna, the hypocrite, throws a huge fit.

For context: Bridgette and Toph are in a band called the Penny Dreadfuls (why is it with YA books and horrible band names? ‘Emoji’ from Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda was bad enough), and Anna + Matt + Cherrie go to a bowling alley to see them perform. After the performance, Toph announces that he’s sleeping with Bridge, and Anna confronts Bridge… onstage.

“… You’re welcome to move in when I leave again, because that’s what you want, right? My life?”

She shakes with fury. “Go to hell.”

“Take my life. You can have it. Just watch out for the part where my BEST FRIEND SCREWS ME OVER!” I knock over a cymbal stand, and the brass hits the stage with an earsplitting crash that reverberates through the bowling alley. Matt calls my name. Has he been calling it this entire time? He grabs my arm and leads me around the electrical cords and plugs and onto the floor and away, away, away.

Everyone in the bowling alley is staring at me.

I duck my head so my hair covers my face. I’m crying. This would have never happened if I hadn’t given Toph her number. All of those late-night practices and… he said they’ve had sex! What if they’ve had it at my house? Does he come over when she’s watching Seany? Do they go in the bedroom?

I’m going to be sick.

Give me a goddamn break.

Anna, about Ellie:

To my amazement, Ellie breaks into an ear-to-ear smile. Oddly enough, it’s this moment I realize that despite her husky voice and Parisian attire, she’s sort of… plain. But friendly-looking.

That still doesn’t mean I like her.

“Anna! From Atlanta, right? Where’d you guys go?”

She knows who I am? St. Clair describes our evening while I contemplate this strange development. Did he tell her about me? Or was it Meredith? I hope it was him, but even if it was, it’s not like he said anything she found threatening. She doesn’t seem alarmed that I’ve spent the last three hours in the company of her very attractive boyfriend. Alone.

[about Ellie’s Hallowe’en costume] Slutty nurse. I don’t believe it. Tiny white button-up dress, red crosses across the nipples. Cleavage city.

If I didn’t like Ellie before, it’s nothing compared to how I feel now. It doesn’t matter that I can count how many times we’ve met on one hand.

I fantasize about their break-up. How he could hurt her, and she could hurt him, and all of the ways I could hurt her back. I want to grab her Parisian-styled hair and yank it so hard it rips from her skull. I want to sink my claws into her eyeballs and scrape.

It turns out I am not a nice person.

YOU DON’T FUCKING SAY.

Emily Middlestone bends over to pick up a dropped eraser, and Mike Reynard leers at her breasts. Gross. Too bad for him she’s interested in his best friend, Dave. The eraser drop was deliberate, but Dave is oblivious.

One of the juniors, a girl with dark hair and tight jeans, stretches in a move designed to show off her belly button ring to Paul/Pete. Oh, please.

And I’m meant to like this character? I’m supposed to root for her?

I’m not saying every girl in the book should be perfectly sweet and friendly- that’s just not realistic. But when Anna has something judgmental to say about every other young female character… maybe she’s the problem.

In fact, the only girl I recall getting a pass is Isla Whatsername. And why do you think?

Brilliant.

And now we have the amalgamation of almost every fanfic boyfriend trope from 2014, Étienne St. Clair. Brown-eyed Harry Styles. I can’t fucking wait.

Étienne could’ve discovered the cure for cancer, or abolished poverty, or volunteered at animal shelters in his spare time. He could’ve been the most virtuous guy around (fret not; he decidedly isn’t). And I still wouldn’t’ve thought of him as the man of my dreams because HE HAS A BLOODY GIRLFRIEND.

I mean, which girl doesn’t want her boyfriend to say:

“I cheated on her every day. In my mind, I thought of you in ways I shouldn’t have, again and again.”

Fuckin’ smooth, bro.

“No matter what a terrible boyfriend I was, I wouldn’t actually cheat on her. But I thought you’d know.”

Such a gentleman!

“So you can keep dating Ellie, but I can’t even talk to Dave?”

Étienne looks shamed. He stares at his boots. “I’m sorry.”

I don’t even know what to do with his apology.

“I’m sorry,” he says again. And this time, he’s looking at me. Begging me. “And I know it’s not fair to ask you, but I need more time. To sort things out.”

And this gem:

“If you liked me so much, why didn’t you break up with her?”

“I’ve been confused. I’ve been so stupid.”

*me, banging pots and pans together* F U C K Y O U

“Ellie’s not like you, Anna; she’s a slut and a whore even though I’m the one who’s been thinking about another girl inappropriately and I’m the one who gets my knickers in a twist when another man glances in your direction because my masculinity is extremely fragile and I’m a total hypocrite and a dickhead.”

I mean, he didn’t actually say that, but that’s the gist.

WHILE DATING ELLIE: he gets Anna a book of sexual love poems, he calls her attractive (“Any bloke with a working prick would be insane not to like you.”) multiple times, he gets jealous whenever another guy so much as breathes in Anna’s direction and constantly interrupts such interactions, he’s been ditching his friends for his girlfriend but suddenly decides he prefers a new girl over said girlfriend, he thinks bread pudding tastes good- in conclusion, he is a Massive Fucking Prick. Though in hindsight, him and Anna deserve each other. They’re awful.

I had loads more notes taken down (Anna using Dave; “The important thing is this: Dave is available. St. Clair is not.”); the implication that cheating is okay because Ellie is bad or whatever, even though the sudden change in her character seems contrived because she was perfectly okay with Étienne and Anna hanging out before; how my blood boils whenever I read an American book and American girls are like “oOoOh AcCenT!!!1!!1!!”; me reading “DAVE SAYS YER A SLUTBAG” in Hagrid’s voice; the sheer atrocity of the name ‘Étienne St. Clair’ (sounds like a caricature of a French person)… but this ‘review’ is already pushing 3k and I can’t be fucked to expand on any of those points.

Verdict (which is apparently the same in French):

Who needs Christopher when Étienne St. Clair is in the world?

Speak for yourself.

[connorandersons-blog]

Kinktober Day 3: Prostitution, RK1K

Markus/Connor! Enjoy!

------------------------------------

Connor highly doubted this was legit, but the Mistress said it was, so he was going to go anyway. Some days it was hard to believe what he did for a living, but at this point, he tried to just focus on getting into character. 

That's never been too hard before, even with the most outrageous demands. As long as they paid good enough and respected his terms then he'd do almost anything. 

The hotel was the same as all the others he often visited. Actually, if his memory is correct (which it always is), he's been to this exact hotel seven times before. It was definitely more classy and he didn't even get odd looks from the staff, though they were sure to whisper about him and wonder who he was there for later. 

That was fine, let them imagine him draped over some old fat white man that paid him in hundreds for a single night just to get slapped around a little. Those men were the easiest. Most predictable. They were dominant in their social lives and needs to be treated like shit every now and then. 

He expected that for most of his clients. Some surprised him with their requests. It was always interesting when they wanted him to bottom. Sometimes that could be rather nice but there were also the men that made his skin crawl and need to take a very long hot shower after. 

It wasn't just men who hired him either, there were plenty of women or people of other genders. Most of the feminine people who hired him wanted to dom him, which he gladly let happen. 

He glanced down at his outfit, satisfied it was to his standards before unlocking the door and walking in. He had said there was no need to knock, so Connor didn't. 

He was fully ready for some random rich dude posing as his client but was surprised to see that wasn't the case at all. 

Markus Manfred, CEO of the largest paint store, and the CEO of a tech store standing in the hotel room, shirt off, and painting. It really was him. He was also painting. Which made sense but his brain was still trying to wrap around the fact that he'd have his legs wrapped around Markus Manfred tonight. 

Best. Job. Ever.

He was a professional though, and he easily pulled himself together, swaying his hips as he walked in. "Mr. Manfred, you didn't need to get all dressed up for me." He says. 

Manfred jumps and Connor has to contain an eye roll. Hadn't the dude heard the door open? He really hoped he wasn't going to be creepy. If he was then he'd get to bitch to Gavin about it, so there was that. 

Manfred turned and eyed him. Connor stood there, hip out, and let him. He gladly soaked in the attention, ready to do a fucking twirl if Manfred wanted. "Uh, just Markus is fine…" 

"Hello, Just Markus. I'm Connor, but you can give me a different one if you like. I'm partial to baby boy, or master depending on what you like." He added a wink at the end, but he had a feeling Manfred was more of a top. Hopefully, he had a big dick or a lot of stamina. Connor was lucky to be graced with both. 

Markus nodded, holding out his hand. Connor raised an eyebrow but shook it, not too bothered about the paint that had gotten on him. "Right, hello Connor. Um, not to sound like a dick… but do I know you? I generally have a really good memory, but maybe I was drunk? I'm so sorry, I don't mean to offend you." 

What? This was the right room, and definitely the right client. Maybe Markus wanted to play into this, but he seemed genuinely confused. What the hell was she supposed to do?! "I'm Connor, from Bees Love? You did set an appointment with me for the whole night." 

Markus's eyes go wide and he face-palms. "I'm going to fucking kill North," he grumbled before dragging the hand down his face. 

It's oddly adorable that Markus seemed to forget he had not-quite dried paint on his hands that were now on his face. "I'm so sorry, North said I needed to relax and sent me here. I thought it was just to get away and paint in peace. I'll still pay you, um, and tip? Do you take tips?" 

This was actually happening. And it was the funniest damn thing that had happened all week, and he had gotten to sleep with a very famous comedian. He burst into laughter, not able to hold it in anymore. 

"I'm so sorry, this is great!" He laughed, trying to take in air. "Yes, I do get tipped depending on how I do. Uh, I don't really have anywhere else to be. You sure you don't wanna sleep with me? I'm up for almost anything." 

Markus was looking at him kinda funny. A look he hadn't seen in a very, very long time. No. Nope. Big nope. He was not going down that rabbit hole. "Ah, no? But not because you aren't beautiful! You are, very much so. If you weren't a prostitute I'd sleep with you. Wait, shit, I didn't mean it like that!" 

Uh, so Markus was actually adorable. Too bad he wouldn't sleep with Connor. He'd probably be the best lay he's gotten all month. "No, it's fine. I understand. Could uh… can I stay though? I just wasn't planning on going back home tonight, I got a dog-sitter and everything. We won't do anything unless you want. I won't even talk." He was good at not talking, or talking. He could be good at basically anything if he needed to be. 

Markus fidgeted and Connor was ready to be told to leave. This would most definitely be his shortest appointment ever. But Markus surprised him once again. "Sure. Do you like painting? I've got another canvas." 

Connor shrugged and rolled up his sleeves. He could just get another shirt if this one got messy, it wasn't like he didn't have enough money. "Sure, I'm always willing to try something new. Makes the job easy." 

Markus snorts and looks around before pulling out a medium-sized canvas. "I'm sure it does. Alright, so there are these paints you can use. Go wild, I've got plenty." Markus said, pointing then out before picking up his paintbrush. 

He's never really painted and he had no idea what to do. Was he supposed to come up with an idea himself or maybe still life? It was called that, right? 

"Hey, you don't have to. I'm gonna pay the whole thing and tip. If you don't wanna paint I'm sure I can find something else. Food? Uh, tv?" Markus says, looking around the rather large hotel room. "I think there's a hot tub, and a bathroom if you need it. Just do whatever you want." 

Connor couldn't help the smirk. "What if I want to do you?" He watches as Markus's face flushed slightly. It was barely discernible but he could tell. Also how the fuck was this man so beautiful? It was completely unfair that he was so pretty. 

"I- um, thank you? I just, I don't want to pressure you just because it's your job. I'd rather get to know you first? I just, I guess I really do need to relax but it would feel like I'm taking advantage of you." Markus shrugged, staring at the ground. 

Of course, the one guy he fully wanted to sleep with, like would actually do anything, was giving him reasons he wouldn't. Yet it just made the want stronger. He hadn't felt this… whatever this feeling was in awhile. "Alright, well then we can get to know each other. Let's start off easy, who's North?" 

"My best friend. We were high school sweethearts but little did North know she was hella gay, so we broke up at the start of college. We stayed close and I even introduced her to her wife." Markus smiled so fondly it almost hurt to see. 

Would his friends smile like that when talking about Connor? Sure Gavin was friendly (in his own weird way and only after he made a complete ass of himself) but they weren't that close. The Mistress was his boss, and he'd like to think they were friends. Not like this though. 

He knew so many people, had slept with so many, and knew secrets they'd never even tell their dogs, and yet no one he had like Markus had North. It never hurt so much before. 

"Best friend," he said, clearing his throat. "So, I'm assuming you have more friends than just her then." 

Markus nodded, the smile still on his face. "Yeah, Josh and Simon. I also used to date Simon but… things happened. The only one I haven't dated was Josh, but he's also straight so it's not like I even ever had the chance. I met Josh in college, he was a professor, and I met Simon through work." 

Connor nodded, taking mental notes. "You seem really close." He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but by the look, Markus was giving him, he failed. 

"We are, but the situation pushed us together even more. If I wasn't supposed to be on my phone I'd text North to have them come over." He nodded towards the table where the phone was. 

Markus was really making this too easy. "Oh? Well, that's technically extra but I'm always up for an orgy, haven't been in one in a while." He smiled, tilting his head. 

"I- uh, no! No, I just, I didn't mean-" Markus rambled. 

"It's fine, I'm fucking with you in the only way you'll let me. So, if I'm just going to hang out for the night, who do you want me to be? I can be innocent, sophisticated… lustful." He said, stepping closer to Markus. 

Markus took a step back, shaking his head. "I just want you to be yourself. You don't have to do or say anything you don't want to, there's no pressure. You can even leave whenever you want without question." 

Oh. Himself? No one ever wanted him to just be himself. Sure he was asked for slightly different versions of himself but nothing like this. Not when Markus actually meant it. "M-me? Just, um, myself?" 

Markus nodded, smiling softly. "Yep, just you. You probably don't get a lot of time to do that, so feel free." 

Hm, fine. He'd be himself. "Mind if I use the bathroom then?" He grabbed his bag, and at Markus's nod went to the bathroom. 

He took off his lingerie, clothes, and contacts. Instead, he put on soft pajamas after taking a shower and put his glasses on. He didn't bother straightening his hair. If he was going to be himself then he was going to do it fully. He always kept these with him so he could slip into it after the job was done. 

He walked out, shuffling slightly and looking anywhere than at Markus. He'd never let a client see him like this, but Markus wasn't actually a client. Not in the normal sense. "Uh, you sure this is ok?"

He finally looked up and felt like running back into the bathroom and putting his other clothes back on. Those always made him more confident, it was like putting on a mask. He felt more exposed like this than he ever did naked. 

Markus made a small choking noise before trying to cover it with a cough. "Uh, yeah. You, yeah this is definitely fine." 

Connor nodded and dug around his bag again before pulling out a book and sitting down on the bed crisscrossed. He was a little over halfway through, but he hadn't had as much time to read as he'd like. 

"What are you reading?" Markus asks, going back to painting. 

Connor looked up then back to his book, a real actually blush forming on his cheeks. "Oh, uh nothing you'd be interested in." 

Markus turned slightly, raising an eyebrow. "Try me." 

Connor chuckled, looking up at him through his lashes. "It's… it's a criminology book? I was thinking about trying to be a detective if I ever got tired of this, but even if I don't it still fascinates me. My adopted father is a Lieutenant at the local police." 

It made him chuckle again when Markus's jaw dropped. No one would think his dad worked in law enforcement considering Connor's job. But in reality, Hank made sure he was safe and not pressured into anything. Plus Hank knew loopholes and even commented on how it should be legal so they can protect sex workers.

"I know, I know. He's actually really chill about it. Plus I make plenty of money so I can pay for college without going into debt." He had been putting away money for a while so he could live comfortably for the rest of his life. 

Markus nodded, "that's actually a good idea. I'm sure you'd make an incredible detective considering how intelligent you must be to be this good at your current job." 

"You really know a way to a man's heart." Connor chuckled and he meant it. Most people thought so lowly of escorts and prostitutes, saying they only did this because it was the only job they could do. When in reality you had to be quick on your feet and able to read people from just a glance. 

Markus shook his head, but he was smiling. "I just say what is true. You can put music on if you want. I don't know how you normally read." 

"Not in a fancy hotel with a man who won't sleep with me, that's for sure." Connor snarked before snapping his mouth closed. 

His worry disappeared when Markus fully laughed. "Ah, that's true. As I said, it's not that I don't want you. I just don't want to push you into anything." 

Connor sighed and leaned against the headboard. "I'm wounded, but I think I can survive." 

They went back to their own activities barely interacting unless Connor came across a particularly interesting part or Markus asked for his opinion. It was actually really nice and he found himself relaxing more and more. 

It wasn't like he had sex with every client. Some wanted him to be a date to an event, spend time with them for the week, or anything else. It wasn't always sex. 

Yet even this was different. There were no expectations at all. It was completely freeing. It just made his want that much stronger. Huh, that was a new turn on. 

It was late into the night when Connor started yawning. The soft sounds of Markus's brush strokes and Markus's humming was calming in a way he hadn't expected. He was warm and comfortable in the huge bed, and he was tempted to just fall asleep for the night. 

"You can sleep here if you want. I can take the couch or get another room." Markus said, making Connor's head snapped up. 

"Huh? Oh! No, no, no, it's ok. If anyone should take the couch it's me. You paid for the room, it's yours." He was most definitely not letting Markus take the couch. 

"No! Seriously you expected certain things and I didn't deliver. The least I can do is offer the bed." Markus whipped his hands and turned to face Connor. God damn this man was gorgeous. Could he be any more perfect? Maybe he had a really small dick and absolutely no stamina to make up for everything else. 

Connor huffed and closed his book. "Nope, not happening. The bed is big enough that we can easily share without bothering each other. I promise not to try anything." Just to show he scooted over and pat the bed. 

Markus frowned and looked around. "I...ok. let me get washed up first." Connor nodded and watched him grab his clothes and then watched as he went into the bathroom. 

The door closed and he let out a soft sigh, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He didn't want this night to end. He knew it was a bad idea to actually connect with clients. Sure you can make semi-friends but never anything serious. Don't get attached. He knew if he let himself he'd get attached in some way. There was just a connection. 

He jumped slightly when the door opened back up. Had he really been falling asleep?

He looked up at Markus and wanted to scream. The man was wearing fuzzy robot pajamas pants without a shirt. It was an odd combination of sexy and adorable as hell. 

"Do you have a side you prefer?" Connor asked ready to move to whichever side was needed of him. 

"Either is fine, wherever you're comfortable." Markus said, stretching his arms above his head. 

Connor nodded and put his book to the side, taking his glasses off. He wiggles under the blankets, trying to get comfortable. 

Markus walked around and climbed in. Like Connor had said, the bed was so huge that he'd have to reach out his whole arm to be able to touch him. 

"Sleep well, Markus." Connor says, reaching to turn off the bedside lamp. 

Markus did the same, and the room was flooded with darkness. "Sleep well, Connor." 

He falls asleep much faster than normal. Perhaps it was that the bed was just more comfortable, or maybe it was the company. 

When he woke up his back was pressed against something warm and soft. He knew it was Markus but he was still shocked. 

What was even more shocking and definitely welcome was the warm hand under his shirt and the very obvious hardness pressing into him. 

Markus was also most definitely asleep, and Connor sighed heavily. He was still half-asleep so it took even more in him to not press back. Markus definitely didn't have a small dick. Of course, he didn't. 

The slow and even breath on his neck made him shiver and close his eyes for a second. Then the hand was moving down and he arched into it. "Markus I swear if you're awake I'll murder you." He whispered. 

Markus sighed and moved his hips just slightly. Connor whined but tried to keep his voice down. This was so not fair. 

He was getting hard and he pushed back just slightly. Fuck. 

Maybe he could take care of himself without waking up Markus. Just get off then clean up. He could even leave right after so he wouldn't have to see how he'd react. He was off the clock so… 

He reached down, gently teasing himself. He should just do this quickly. He didn't know how long until Markus would wake up. 

The hand on him was so low but not low enough. It wasn't enough! "Fucking hell Markus," he whimpered. 

He increased the pressure but still didn't pull himself out. Not yet. He wanted to savor this. 

He tried to keep his noises down, keeping his hips still, and yet he kept pushing back. He wanted to touch Markus so bad. "Please. Please."

The hand on him stiffened and Connor froze. "Hm, Connor?" Markus says, his lips brushing against Connor's neck. Oh, that was not helping. Neither was Markus shifting against him, accidentally pulling him closer. 

"Do-don't." Connor whined, squeezing his eyes closed. He didn't know what he was pleading for, but he just wanted to continue so bad. 

"Shit! Uh, do you want me to leave? I'm so sorry." Markus said, trying to move away but Connor grabbed the arm. 

"You can stay, please stay. I want you." He really did. He wanted him so bad. He took Markus's hand and pressed it against his stomach. "You don't have to do anything."

"Fuck." Markus muttered, his hips twitching forward. "Are you sure? I… I don't want to overstep." 

Connor huffed rolling his eyes. "I don't wanna sleep with you just because it's my job, I want you to fuck me." He pressed back against him, sliding Markus's hand lower. 

"I don't know… um," Markus said, shifting again. His breath was fast and warm against Connor's neck. 

He wiggled his hips, pushing down his pants. He kept a hand over Markus's before taking himself and jumping slowly. "If, if you want to leave you can. But I will definitely not complain if you stay." 

Markus pulled him close and he could feel him. Oh. Oh, Markus wasn't wearing underwear either. Fuck that was hot. "Ok. Ok, I'll stay." 

Connor smiled and sped his hand up. "Yes! Yes, thank you." He babbled, tilting his head. He wanted Markus's lips on him. Thankfully Markus seemed to agree because soon Markus was pressing feather-light kisses to his neck. 

"You're so beautiful." Markus mumbled, moving his hand down lower to cover Connor's as he stroked himself. 

Connor bucked his hips, trying to get more. It wasn't enough. He needed more. "Markus, please." 

Markus nodded and pulled his own pants down, freely rubbing himself against Connor. "I've got you. What do you need, baby?" 

Oh, that was good. That was delicious. "You. Anything you want. I just need more."

Markus pressed hot kisses down his neck, nipping just slightly. Not enough to leave marks but it made him whine. "Are you sure? Connor… this isn't because of…" he trailed off. 

Connor turned and pressed Markus back into the bed, straddling him. "If you ask me that one more time I'm chopping your annoyingly large dick off." 

Markus's eyes went wide, and he placed his hands on Connor's hips. "Alright, I definitely wouldn't want that." 

"Thank fuck." Connor chuckled before leaning down and crushing their lips together. Markus's lips were so warm and just slightly rough from Markus chewing on them.

He rocked their hips together trying to get more friction. "Are you willing to fuck me? I can fuck you but I've been dying for you in me all night." 

Markus panted, nodding his head. "Definitely. God, you looked amazing yesterday, but then you changed and I nearly lost it. You looked so soft and fuckable." 

Connor whined, rolling his hips down. "Yes, yes please. I've got a condom and lube in my bag. I'm clean." 

Markus nodded and flipped them over which was way too fucking hot. Apparently, he noticed the shocked expression because he kissed him with a chuckle. "I work out." 

"That you do." He said he panted as Markus got off, grabbing Connor's bag and digging around. 

"Sorry, should have asked but I feared for my annoying large cock." Markus said, pulling out a condom and lube. 

"I used the word dick, but I think you can be forgiven if you hurry the fuck up." If he wasn't being fucked within the hour he wasn't going to scream and maybe cry. 

"My bad, my annoyingly large dick." Markus crawled back into the bed, moving in between Connor's legs. "Alright, how do you like this?" 

Connor spread his legs, getting into a good position. "However you want but I do require that I actually get fucked. Even if I come you gotta fuck me until I can't walk. Deal?" He offered his hand and Markus chuckled. 

Markus took his hand, shaking it before using it to pull Connor up and into a searing kiss. "I think I can do that baby boy," Markus mumbled before pushing him back into the bed. 

Connor let him, spreading himself even wider. He took deep breaths, easily relaxing even when Markus gently pushed against his hole. 

"There we go," Markus mumbled before pressing a kiss to his inner thigh. Connor whined, arching his back. His thighs were so sensitive and no one ever kissed him this gently, this lovingly. It broke his heart. 

"Markus," he sighed, eyes fluttering closed. Markus hummed and did the same for his other thigh. 

Then he was nipping at him, sucking slightly on the skin as he pushed his finger in. He would definitely leave marks here. For some reason, he didn't want anyone to see these marks or touch them. He didn't want anyone kissing them and trying to mark over these. These were just for him. 

Markus was so slow and gentle, but Connor could tell he was holding back. He knew there was an urgency and want behind every movement and soft touch. 

Yet Markus held back for him. It was odd being on the receiving end. Just being able to lay back and take just because he wanted it and not because someone was paying him to. This was for him as much as it was for Markus. He felt truly beautiful. 

Markus kissed his hips, using his free hand to gently run a hand down his side. "You're amazing. You're doing really well." Markus says, pushing in a second finger. 

He had had so many people that tried to rush this but Markus seemed to be genuinely enjoying it. "Markus!" He sighed, arching his back and trying to push down into his hand. 

Markus chuckled slightly, "so needy. How many do you normally need?" 

"Most stop at two." Connor says, mind fuzzy with pleasure and want. 

"I didn't ask what other people did to you, I asked what you need. I don't want to hurt you. So I'll ask again, baby, how many do you normally need?" Oh, that tone of voice was unfair. It was raspy and demanding and so very in control. 

"Um, three without too much of a stretch but for you… I, um, three. I wanna feel it." He wanted that burning stretch like never before. 

Markus nodded and slowly added a third finger. "Alright, I'll be slow and gentle. If you need me to stop or go slower at all let me know." 

"I… ok," he nodded. Markus was being so kind. Yet that hurt more than any physical pain he'd been in, and one rather angry woman liked to whip people. Wasn't the best night considering she didn't really like it when he asked for her to stop. 

Markus paused, frowning. "Are you alright? We can stop if you want." His hand paused and Connor felt like screaming. It was such an odd mixture of emotions. 

"Please don't stop! I'm, just not used to this." That was the worst description ever. 

"Wait, I thought… has no one?" Markus asks, pulling his fingers out. Connor groaned and instantly missed the feeling. 

"No! Yes, yes I've done this in the physical sense, but not," he waved his hand between them, "this? You're, you want me to feel good and you're taking your time. I haven't had anyone do this in a long time." 

Markus blinks at him before his jaw drops. "Are you saying no one ever pleasured you before? If they were too rough you… you could tell them to stop right?" Oh, this sweet, sweet boy. 

"Well yes, they still have to pay for my time, but it's different. I do get pleasure out of it, but it's never just for me. If I'm being fucked then the person wants me to be. I want this. I want you. And not just… you're kind, Markus." He said, sitting up and gently holding his face. "Kinder than I'd ever imagined. You could be the snottiest man on the planet and yet you turned down a prostitute who had already been paid for and was willing because of your morals. None of my clients would ever do that. I'd like to think some would, but they just need the release or a date. Someone pretty on their arm so they bought me." 

That didn't mean he didn't enjoy his job. He loved being pampered and could have as much sex as he wanted and get paid for it. He was living the dream, but it was also nice to have this. Something so soft and gentle, and kind. 

Then Markus was leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips like he would break. And he loved it. He loved the way he cradled his head and gently pressed into him. He loved the calluses on Markus's hands as they intertwined their fingers. 

He was slowly leaned down back onto the bed, Markus's hands slowly searching his body. He had a few small scars from when clients took it too far, but Markus traced each one like he was a masterpiece. It made him shiver and whine, pushing against the hand. 

"You really are beautiful, Connor. All of you." Markus mumbled, pulling back to kiss down his jaw. He raised his other hand to gently card through Connor's hair, pulling at it just slightly so he'd tilt his head. He gladly did, sighing when Markus's lips trailed down his neck. 

"Hmph, fuck," Connor muttered, biting his bottom lip. This was too good. He doubted anyone will ever be able to compare to this. Damn it. 

"You don't have to muffle yourself, baby, I want to hear you." Markus mumbled against his skin. Connor was sure his entire body was going to be kissed and he was completely ok with that. More than just ok, really. 

Markus took his time finding every little spot that made him whine and buck his hips. He was almost in tears from want when he finally grabbed the lube again. 

He was still somewhat stretched so Markus started with two fingers, slowly stretching and exploring. "So amazing. I can't wait to be in you." Markus muttered. It was so quiet Connor could barely hear him. Markus had said that to himself, and it sent a thrill through Connor. 

"Fuck me! Please, I need it, you." He whined, rocking his hips down. Markus smirked and put a third finger in, moving his hand a bit faster. Connor whimpered and gripped the sheets of the bed, hips moving uncontrollably. 

He yelped when his dick was enveloped in the warm heat of Markus's mouth. He bobbed his head before sucking on the head, swirling his tongue around the top. 

Connor bucked into his mouth, almost choking him. He rambled his apology which quickly turned into pleading. 

Markus took him down again, hollowing his cheeks and running his along the underside. 

"Fuck! Fuck, stop I won't last much longer!" Connor begged. He wanted to come with Markus in him. It took Markus an agonizingly long time to pull off, licking his lips once he does. 

"Damn I could just do that and be happy. You make the best sounds. But I think I should give you what you finally want." Markus said, slowly pulling his fingers out. 

Connor quickly nodded trying to spread his legs even more (he is very proud of his flexibility, he has all of his splits). 

"How do you like this?" Markus asks, tearing the seal off the condom then throwing the wrapper off the bed. He easily slides it on and Connor is drooling. 

Wait, right Markus had asked him a question. That dick was definitely a blessing, Jesus Christ. He really wanted to suck on that but held back. "Like this works… I want to see you." 

Markus smiled and gently brushed a few curly strands of hair out of Connor's face. "I can do that." 

Oh, this was definitely gonna hurt and he couldn't wait. Thankfully Markus wasn't stalling either. He moved closer, carefully lining up before looking down at Connor. 

He took one of his hands and laced their fingers together before pushing in. Connor whined, squeezing his eyes shut and Markus instantly stopped. "Fuck you, I did not say to stop, you ass." He growled out. 

He heard Markus chuckle and Connor forced his body to relax. It was just a good pain, one he'd like to take every day if Markus let him. 

Once Markus bottomed out they both stilled, panting for air. Markus used his free hand to brush through his hair again, pressing a quick kiss to his sweaty forehead. 

They stay still until Connor gives a small nod. Markus slowly slides out and slowly pushes back in. It's too slow, he wraps his legs around Markus and pulls in back in roughly, sighing when it finally creates the friction he wants. "Yes!" 

Markus grunts, chuckling softly. "Fuck, ok." Then he sped up, rocking his hips at a fast but consistent speed. 

Connor rocks his hips in time, panting into Markus's kiss. He moaned praises and pleads, mind hazy. It was too good. It all felt too good. 

Markus's hands on him, keeping him down but also driving him insane. He took one and put it in his hair, which thankfully Markus completely understood. He tugged on just enough and Connor whimpered. 

It was also too much but not enough. He was so, so close. "Please, Markus I need…" 

Markus nodded, tugging Connor's hair so he could bite at his neck. "What do you need, baby?"

"I, I uh, I don't know." He hated how whiny he sounded but Markus just seemed to soak it all up. "Ah, Markus!" 

He hit the spot and Connor almost cried. "Such a good boy, good beautiful baby boy." Markus said, his hips spasming slightly. 

Connor choked and his vision blurred slightly, coming without any warning. 

His whole body turned limp and Markus groaned, his hips snapping forward. There was so much but Markus didn't stop. He was so sensitive but he loved it. 

"I'm close, baby, you ok?" Markus asked. Connor nodded, hips and legs trembling. He was more than ok. This was ecstasy. 

Sadly it didn't take too much longer until Markus froze and Connor wished he hadn't mentioned a condom. He wanted to be filled and maybe even plug himself so he could keep it in him the rest of the day. 

Markus took his time sliding out before taking the condom off, tying then tossing it in the trash. He flopped down onto the bed, pulling Connor to his chest. "This ok?" He mumbled. 

Connor nodded, wrapping himself around it. "That was the best I've had in a long time. You're amazing." He said, pressing a kiss to Markus's chest. 

Markus chuckled, gently soothing Connor's hair. "Why thank you." 

Connor hummed, closing his eyes and just basking in the warmth and happiness. He never wanted to leave his bed. 

He would have to, though. He'd have to forget all of this. If he didn't then he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about what happened or Markus. He'd never be able to forget the comfort of Markus's arms or the tenderness and adoration in the way he touched him. 

He hadn't even realized he started crying until Markus gently wiped away a tear. "Hey, you ok? Did I hurt you?" 

Connor sniffled, trying to hide his face. "No, you didn't. I'm… happy?" 

He was but he was also so sad. "I should probably leave." He said, pushing away from Markus. 

"Wait, what? I have this room until tomorrow. Do you have work?" He asks, running a hand down Connor's back as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

The way he seemed to completely respect that it was work. He didn't judge him for it at all. "I… I have to, I…" he trailed off, shaking his head. 

"You have to what?" Markus asks, placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder. "What do you need to do?" 

Connor roughly brushed his tears away. "I have to forget you. I can't… you're too good. I can't get attached. I'm sorry." He shook his head and stood, grabbing his bag and clothes. 

Markus was quick to follow him, tripling on a blanket. "Wait, Connor hold on!" 

Connor shook his head, trying to pull on his clothes. It was too much. This was all too much. 

He was quickly turned and pressed against the wall by Markus's strong hands. "Connor, wait." 

He ducked his head, hiding behind the strands of curly hair that fell into his face. "Please don't." He whimpered. 

Markus sighed, softly trailing his hands up and down Connor's arm, making him shiver. "Connor, hey, talk to me. I'm not here to judge." 

"I can't get attached, it's the worst thing to do in this profession. I can't stop just because someone I like asks me to. No matter how mind-blowing the sex is." No matter how beautiful and wanted it made him feel. 

Markus shook his head, brushing the hair out of his face. "I'd never ask you to stop. I… I'm not going to push you for anything you don't want. Maybe we can just be friends? There's just something about you." 

Connor knew exactly what he meant. It was like their bodies and minds were two puzzle pieces that fit seamlessly together. Friends. "I… I don't know." 

"We don't have to have any sex. Maybe just hang out whenever we're both free. I think North would adore you… oh, actually you meeting would be a very bad idea." Markus said, frowning. 

He tilted his head, "wait, why?" Wasn't she the one that had actually paid for him?

"I would not stand a chance if you two teamed up. Terrifying to think about." Markus smirked and Connor huffed. 

"Alright, friends. I guess we can start the whole no sex thing tomorrow." He said before leaning in to Markus. 

"So needy," Markus said, shaking his head fondly. 

"You love it," he whispered, pressing his lips against Markus's neck. 

"That I do."

[avinox]

So, finally played VtM with my friends (half of them have never roleplayed) and it was super fun. Here's a narration. Starring:

Billie, the Brujah

Meissa, the Gangrel

Manya, the Malkavian

(Valeria, the Tremere couldn't make it to this first session, but will be introduced in the second)

Ok, so I made my friends start in a bloody hotel room, not remembering how they got there, not knowing each other, and at Hunger 3. First thing, of course, was a Rouse Check, which Meissa immediately botched, reaching Hunger 4. Manya was freaking out cause she thought she was gonna get her organs harvested. Billie, OF COURSE, tried to open the door, got a messy crit, and pried it open. At the other side, literally nose to nose, was a chubby guy, who I thought looked pretty harmless. He was trying to open the door to get to them, and I mentioned he had a bag. Meissa and Manya joined forces to take the bag, got it, and found 3 stakes and 3 blood bags.

Manya: "I'm gonna question him"

"Ok, roll with 3 Hunger die"

Bestial Failure. Manya became overwhelmed with this whole shit and began punching the shit outta this guy, broke his lip, and the smell of blood triggered a Frenzy roll for everyone. Manya passed it, but both Billie and Meissa went feral, beat him up even more, and honestly would have killed him, but this was the Tutorial and I needed this guy. Oh, they also took a sip of his blood and satiated 1 Hunger. Scene ends (cause I needed it). The guy, though looking like shit, pulled through and was relatively ok. He explained that his Boss sent him, that he carried the stakes-Billie was aiming one at him-and the blood cause he didn't know what to expect. "Take us to your boss!" said Billie. "That's the plan" he replied. He explained they were vampires, and Meissa immediately came to terms with it and took one of the blood pack. Manya absolutely REFUSED, and Billie set it aside for later.

They went downstairs and the receptionist saw the scene. Billie failed to intimidate him to keep quiet, while Manya literally asked him to call the cops. He obviously did, but they went with the guy, who proceeded-still under threat-to drive them to the Ivory Tower, where they were greeted by a red-headed woman with a carnival mask.

"Thank you, Chemi (original name was Stu, changed midway because of reasons I'll explain later)" said the woman. "You can leave now."

"I don't think so" said the Brujah, holding the stake against Chemi.

The woman smiled.

Me: "You look at the stake, only to realize it's turned into a snake. It's gonna bite you!!!"

Billie: "Shit, what the fuck?!?!? I throw it!" All the while the rest are calling me a cheater (in case it's not clear, Billie was being Dementated).

"Thank you. Now follow me."

She lead them to a nicely decorated room, like an office-Meissa commented on it looking like the Volturi haven from Twilight-. At the center, behind the bureau, sat a woman, dressed in a black elegant dress. At her left, a black man with a very dark skin with blueish undertone, waiting in silence with a big-ass sword. The red-headed woman positioned herself at the right side.

"Hello" said the one in the middle. "I suspect you have questions. Allow me to answer them."

"Yeah" said Billie. "What's the deal with the blood?"

"I don't suppose anyone has seen a vampire movie?" She said. Everyone nodded. "Well, blood is your new food, you're gonna live forever-in theory-and you have to keep quiet about this whole thing. Got it? Also...your very existence is illegal in my grounds." No one rolled enough Insight to notice her worried tone or mannerisms. "BUT, I am willing to allow you to live...if you prove yourselves to me."

Time for Billie.

"To you? Who the fuck do you think you are to boss us!?"

"I am Nina, the Prince of Cádiz" she said, offended at the tone. She pointed to the man. "HE is Rashid, my Sheriff-"

"And I am Simone!" said the redhead.

"I'm not taking orders from you." said Billie.

"Oh, I think you will." Nina Dominated Billie, making her shut up and nod. She then turned to the others and said: "You're probably very hungry, aren't you?

By this time, Meissa was at 2 Hunger, so she said "a little", while Manya, still freaking out, tried to lie to avoid having to drink blood, Messy Critted, and began shouting "I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT I'M NOT". Nina just nodded and didn't question her further.

"Still, you will go to the Big Kumara (yes, intended) to have a little snack before any of you Frenzies, and wait for my orders there."

"What's the Big Kumara?"

"My bar!" exclaimed Simone.

Nina also took a guess at everyone's Clan, obviously getting it right with the Brujah, while deciding she didn't have enough information to know the other two. Simone took the chance to wink at Manya (hinting Simone's a Malk, too, but this was mistaken as flirting). Nina warned them one last time what would await them if they disappointed her, making Rashid show off the sword, before they were led out.

Chemi was there, car parked, back against the wall, playing with his keys. Billie joined him.

"Tough life, huh?" she said. "Got a cig?"

"Sure" he said, handing her one while reaching for his lighter. "Now don't freak out-" he lit the cigarette, but Bille rolled well for Rötshreck, leaving him disappointed. He sighed quietly to himself. "So, Big Kumara, right? Should we go?"

"I wanna drive." said Billie.

"It's my car." Chemi said.

"Billlie, it's his car, let him drive." said Meissa.

"It's literally his car." said Manya. "Besides, you don't know where the bar is."

"I'll use the GPS!" said Billie, rolling and failing to get in the driver's seat before Chemi locked the car. "Fuck!" Then she tried to snatch the keys from him, but he was too quick and dodged her.

Manya wanted to try something out and used Mesmerize. "Billie, stop!" she failed the Rouse Check, getting to 4 Hunger. Now, one thing about Manya is that she has the flaw Stigmata, so she began to bleed from her forehead and her wrists. Billie and her where tied, so they both knew something had happened while also not happened.

"Shit, you alright?" Chemi asked. "Maybe I could get you that blood pack?"

"You don't look good." Meissa coincided. Manya nodded, defeated, drank the blood, and immediately felt better.

Chemi told them he had spare clothing (ugly, but just fine) in the back of the car, and Billie and Meissa changed while Manya insisted she was fine. They got in the car.

This was the moment to question Chemi.

"Are you a vampire?" someone asked.

"No, not quite. I'm a Ghoul, Simone's my boss. Been working for her since the seventies."

"So you're like, her pet?" said Manya.

"Oh, no, I'm not her pet."

"You ARE!" exclaimed Billie.

"I'm not!"

"Pet! Pet!" they both sang.

"I'M NOT A PET! I'M ESSENTIAL!"

At this point everyone laughed, Manya most openly, while Meissa quietly giggled at the back..

Chemi was so done.

They got to the bar. It had pretty nice ambient. Chemi encouraged them to find someone to drink from and discover more about their Disciplines.

Manya tried out Auspex + Bloodhound to find someone she had smelled that had a Melancholic aura, found him, and proceeded to try to convince him to let her suck his blood. Failure. "Ugh, not into that, freak."

Meanwhile, Billie wanted another cig. "Chemi, can you give me some money? PLEASE" She suceeded a pretty hard roll and got 5€ from him.

At the same time, Meissa seduced the bartender to get a free martini, thinking trial-and-error was the way to go about being a vampire. She drank it, and immediately threw up blood, right at her feet.

"OhmyGod are you okay???" the bartender offered to call an ambulance, but Billie heard the mess and convinced him that she had just drank a lot. The bartender wished her well and called a janitor to clean things up. Meissa and Billie went to the bathroom for the same thing, and also to calm her down.

Now, Manya had just failed her first hunt. She COULD Dominate someone to give her their blood, but she was a Consensualist, so that was out of the question. She asked if she could try with Chemi, I said sure.

"Chemi..." she said. "Can I have some of your blood?" Roll the Hunt die: failure.

Chemi, in a burst of power, looks at her dead in the eye and flips her off.

"Okay..."

After Billie and Meissa went out, they decided to question the bartender while Meissa searched the room for someone who had passed out (easy enough and she got it). They thought he was a vampire, but really he was just A Guy. Either way, Billie rolled for it: Messy Crit.

She walked up to him, cleared the table off glasses, breaking everything, and took the bartender by the collar. People gathered around, some just watching, others shouting "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!"

We ended it there cause it was super late.

[azaleablue]

Best Kept Secret

(Snowbaz Fanfic) 

Summary: Simon and Baz get together in 5th year. Baz is ready for people to know about them, but Simon does not want it getting out at all. In act of rage, Simon goes a little too far, and everything ends in the worst way.

Simon

The first thing I notice is the blood. It’s everywhere. On his clothes, on the ground, dyeing the bright white snow deep red. I rush to his side. His arms are at his side. He isn’t even putting pressure on the wound anymore. I hold him as tight as I can and pray to whatever god there is that he’ll be okay.

Two Years Earlier

Baz

Simon and I are bickering about the window. I have no idea why he never seems to understand how cold it gets in here when he leaves it open in the dead of winter. I let myself steal a glance at his eyes. They’re always so determined when we get into an argument, but somethings different. There’s a little less fire, and a hint of something else. They still have the same beautiful, courageous shine, but something is off.

“Snow, is everything alright.” I sound softer than I want to, but I can’t help it. No matter how much pride I have, I cannot let the boy I’m so madly in love with be in pain.

“You wouldn’t get it. Just leave me alone!” He went to his bed.

“Look, I can just close the window and this can all me over.” I start to walk toward the window, but before I can Simon puts his lips on mine and nothing matters anymore. Suddenly I know, it will be forever him and I.

Present Day

Simon

There are so many things I wish I could have told him. There are so many things I wish that I could change. I wish that I had let us live. I wish that I didn’t put everything before him. I just want one more hour with him to tell him how much I love him. To tell him that he’ll always mean the world to me. But now, he’s going limp in my arms. I don’t think I’ll ever get the chance.

Two Years Earlier

Baz

It has been the best two days of my life. Simon and I are stealing glances at one another, sneaking into closets to make out, and coming back to our room to do whatever we want without the whole world watching.

I’m resting my head on his chest when I ask, “How do you think people will react? To the two of us together. It would certainly take the whole world for a spin.”

“You should care Baz. Those people aren’t you, those people aren’t us. They don’t need to know.” I laugh into his shoulder. When did he get so eloquent?

“You’re right, so just a well kept secret?” I look up at him and he laughs.

“The best kept secret.”

Present Day

Simon

I’m holding on to him as tight as I can. He’s still conscious, but barely. He’s always been strong, stronger than I’ll ever be, but I don’t think he’s this strong. He’s colder than I ever thought possible and white as the snow around us. I just hope that the ambulance will get here before it’s too late.

One Year Earlier

Baz

This has been so much more than I ever thought I deserved. Simon’s and my friend groups have combined into one. We all get along so well. Once we stopped arguing with each other all the time, our friends saw that they actually enjoy each other’s company. It’s strange how well it all fits, but I couldn’t ask for my thing more. Although, there is one thing.

“I want to tell Fiona about us.” I want the world to know, but if the mage ever found out he’d probably make Simon’s life a living hell.

“Why? Why do we have to change anything? Is this not enough for you?” He’s getting standoffish. I knew this would happen. The mage has been forcing the two of us apart. My family has been as well. He’s scared. I can tell by the look in his eyes.

“Of course it is, but I just would like her to know. You told Penny, didn’t you?”

He steps away from me. “Of course I told Penny, but I just… I don’t. It’s different, okay? I just… We need to figure this out okay? There’s too much going on. Let’s wait for our happily ever after.”

“Okay.” I believe him, because I always will. Just one look in his eyes and I’m gone.

Present Day

Simon

I’m holding onto him so tightly my arms are starting to go numb. I don’t care. I just need him to be okay. I just need him to make it out alive. I don’t care what happens to me. I used a tracking spell to find him, but I don’t know any powerful enough healing spells. Even if I did, it would probably just make it worse.

“Simon?” He looks up. His voice is so weak. I couldn’t care less, I’m just so happy he’s awake.

“Yes, yes I’m here. I’ve got you, and I’m not letting go.” There are tears rolling down my face. I lean my forehead against his

“I guess I’m out then. The real Simon wouldn’t save me. The real Simon knows that he’ll always deserve better than me.” He says it like it’s a simple face, but his face is still sad.

“No, no, no. Baz it’s me. It’s the real me. I love you. I love you so much. I’m so sorry. Please just stay with me, everything is going to be okay. Please.”

Eight Months Earlier

Baz

Simon has always been there for me. He’s worked to slay my demons, but at the cost of ignoring his own. I didn’t deserve that kind of love, and I’m shocked that I got it at all. I just hope that I can help him. He’s been very troubled recently. I don’t know how to talk to him about it.

“Love, is everything alright?” He’s clearly flustered.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just wish that Agatha would stop staring at you.”

“You know that I don’t have eyes for her. I will only ever be yours remember.”

“I just wish that she’d pay more attention to me, considering we’re actually dating.” He mumbles that part under his breath. I very clearly was not meant to hear it.

“I’m sorry, what? I thought that we were together? I thought that we meant something?” I don’t understand. He’s just hurting her and I don’t think he understands.

“Look, it’s just so people get off my back about the whole dating thing. The chosen one needs a white picket fence right? She’s just part of what people think I want. You’re the one I actually see there though. We’ll get our happy ending.” He comforts me. I give in. I’ll always give in.

Present Day

Simon

Baz tries to sit up. He shouldn’t be moving, so I do my best to keep him in place.

“Funny. I once thought that was the case. I know it’s not anymore. He deserves the life he wants, and I know I’m no longer a part of it. Some part of me always knew. He was too good for me anyways.” I’m not. I never was. He’s always been perfect. He figured himself out. I wasn't able to. I said so many things that he feared to be true, and he believed them again. I wish I hadn’t let my temper do the talking.

“You’re my happy ending. Please, please stay with me.” He is. He always will be. I don’t know how I ever thought otherwise.

Six Months Earlier

Baz

“So you and Agatha are official now.” Simon walks toward his bed and away from me.

“Look, just forget it.”

“How am I supposed to forget it? You can’t keep pretending to be something that you aren’t. Why can’t you just stand up for yourself, for me?”

“Who are you to go and blame this all on me? Just because you’ve found your way it can all work? Put away the fairy tales Basilton.” I was never one to believe in fairy tales, but to hear the most optimistic person say it makes my heart stop. To hear him say my name like that hurts more than I ever thought possible. I fall back onto my bed.

“So much for our happily ever after. I thought that we’d win; I trusted the hero.” I guess that I was never his.

“I’m sorry okay. I want you, you know that. Let’s just… keep this to ourselves okay. We can wait.” I stare into his eyes. He’s telling the truth, but it looks like he’s trying to convince himself of it too. He doesn’t believe it, but I let myself believe in him.

Present Day

Simon

“I always loved the color of his eyes. Such an ordinary shade of blue and yet completely unique all on their own.” Of course he can speak so well when he’s bleeding out. He’s speaking like a fucking poet when he’s bleeding out in the middle of an ally in London.

“I’d give in. I’d let him tell me anything and I’d believe it. Just one look into his eyes and I thought everything would be okay. I should have known better. I should have realized that he would eventually understand that he deserved better than a monster like me.” He lets out a weak cough and leans a little more into me. He’s losing his strength as we speak. I have to keep him awake.

“That’s not true. I love you. I love you so much. I’m sorry for everything I said. Please just stay. Stay so that I can prove to you how wrong I was. Please don’t leave me.”

One Month Earlier

Baz

The argument goes how it always does. I don’t understand why he’s still with Agatha. He’s just going to hurt her.

“If you’re going to leave her in the end why keep her on the line? It’s just cruel to string her along for this.”

“Maybe it’s not. Maybe I’ve been stringing you along?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Who are you to tell you what I mean? This was fun, but we both knew this could never last.”

“What do you mean? You said…”

“I said lots of things.” He interrupts me. “I care about you. I really do. I can’t do this though. I can’t throw my future away for a boy that I dated in high school.”

“Is that all I am to you? A fling? A sex toy?” He looks at me.

“Did you really ever think that I was really going to run off with you? How would the word react if they saw me with you? A monster. You’re nothing more than that.” He’s telling the truth. It was a fear I always had, but I guess I really know now. If he can’t find it in his heart to truly love me, then who can? I ran out of the room. I ran with no intention of turning back.

Simon

I regretted saying it as soon as I did. I was just so angry at the whole situation. I wanted to be with him, but I couldn’t let myself have it. I tried so hard to not let myself have these moments, but I was selfish to keep him with me for as long as I could. Now, I’ve hurt him. I’ve hurt him a lot. He probably doesn’t want to see me right now. I’ll make this up to him, but I’ll wait until he can bear to see my face again.

Present Day

Baz

The universe is playing games with me. I must have already blacked out. How did he find me? Why does he even care? I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Thoughts are just pouring out of my mouth without any filter. Dream Simon is crying, begging me to stay. I’m already gone. This is the way it should always have been. No one will know. They’ll think I was killed. Stabbed in the wrong side of London going out on a walk. I’m one of the smartest mages of my generation so it was not very hard to fake a murder. No one will know how much of a coward I was. They won’t know that I escaped; they’ll just be happy I’m gone.

Simon

“I always wanted him, for as long as I can remember. I used to watch his smile, hoping that one day I could be the cause of it. I got everything that I ever wanted. I didn’t deserve it though. It’ll be okay. With me gone, he’ll get what he always wanted. He’ll get the ending he deserves, and I’ll get the one that I deserve.” He sounds so content. He speaks in such a way that shows that he completely accepts it.

“No, no, none of that is true. You deserved it. You deserve happiness more than me. More than I ever will. Please stay. Stay with me. Please don’t leave like this. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.” I’m finally realizing the gravity of the situation. I’m pressing so hard onto what I can only assume is a stab wound and yet blood is still escaping as we speak. His eyes are starting to close. Once they close, I don’t think he’ll ever be able to open them again. He can’t lose this much blood. I want more than anything for him to take from me, but I know that he won’t.

“He fought so hard for me. He… he.. destroyed my demons, but ignored his own. He was… was… my hero. It’s just that I… I wasn’t his.” He lets out a final sigh as his eyes close. I fall completely silent. I don’t think he has much time left. I have one hand on the wound and another on his chest to make sure he’s still breathing. I’m checking for a pulse when I hear the sirens.

(A/N: I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not really. Should I continue this?)

[erintoknow]

leave no room for anything

Spiraling - A Fallen Hero: Rebirth Fan-fiction

You need cover, you need an alibi, and you need a place to plan and work out your next criminal action. What could go wrong from combining all that? [Survival]

[Read on AO3]

Another day, another spike of adrenaline courses through you as you dive feet first through a stack of boxes, sending crates of delicate electronic equipment everywhere. You can hear alarms sound around you as the factory goes into full alert, the clanging of barring gates. You grin under the mirror sheen of your helmet. That suits you fine, keep the small fry penned up and out of the way? You’re too kind.

The wall in front of you collapses into dust thanks to the nanovores and you tear through the office, grabbing at papers at random. What you take doesn’t actually matter at this point, compromising their records is the goal here.

Damage done, you refer to your map, dissolve another wall and follow your thread out, back to the main entrance.

The woman standing in your way gives you pause. You’d been psyching yourself up for a rematch against Chen, but no, its Lady Argent, hands at her sides and poised to rush you. A half-circle of rent-a-cop security goons behind her block you in. “A factory, Puppetmaster? What, they stop inviting you out to parties?” She smirks and hunches down, fingers lengthening into sharpened claws.

Your face twitches under your helmet. “Don’t read the papers, Argent? It’s Ghost.” You hiss. Your voice, filtered through your helmet has a hollow, flat sound. You take a quick count of Lady Argent’s back-up, who’s most pliable to tying up the rest. None of the officers seem to trust Argent. Good. That makes this easier.

The woman of steel looks unimpressed. “Can’t say I care what you call yourself.”

That does it.

One of the rent-a-cop’s guns goes off ‘prematurely’, firing wide to your left, the rest follow in blind panic as you dive to the side. Argent is too focused on you, but with the Rat-King’s help you’re able to pull the rest of the goof troop into your song, pulling their attention in random directions. One of the shots dings Argent in her shoulder, bouncing off to through ground and to her credit she doesn’t look for the culprit, making straight for you.

You run your hand along the ground as you move, leaving a split in the asphalt as the Nanovores chew through material. Lady Argent tries to cut you off so you encourage two of the goons to stumble into her way as you continue your circle around them. You can’t afford to move slow enough for a deep groove, but if this works as planned, all you need is to prime the cut.

If it works.

Argent huffs, shoving one of the men the side, only for another to conveniently take position between the two of you. “Get out of the way!” It doesn’t slow her down for long, but it’s enough for you to finish the circle. Under your helmet you grin, heart pounding.

All that’s left is the magic word. You give the Rat-King the command to pull the strings and yank everyone back in.

You dash forward and slide down, just under the swipe of her claws. She turns to stab down at you as you come to halt. You roll out of the way and kick her arm aside on your way back up.

You check to make sure everyone’s inside the circle you’ve carved through the asphalt. “Heads up.” is all the warning you give before an explosion rocks the ground under everyone’s feet. A furious Argent diving towards you finds only empty space underneath her, and you leap back as the asphalt caves in.

When the dust clears you risk taking a quick check of everyone’s mental state; a lot of fear and alarm, some pain, but the headcount is still the same. You think.

Hopefully.

You shake your head. Focus. Don’t get distracted. Stay in control. You watch Argent and the rest pick themselves up, clear rubble off their buddies. You have to harden your heart against it, remember who they are, what they represent. “Next time,” you call down, “remember my fucking name!”

Admittedly, Argent makes it easier. She’s staring up at you, a single silver middle finger outstretched.

You don’t like the way she’s eyeing one of the support columns. Can she climb her way out? You don’t intend to stick around and see, it’s time to make yourself scarce.

–––

Every super villain needs a secret lair. A base of operations. Somewhere you can plan your next move, keep mission critical materials. If Ariadne is going to be stuck playing retired civilian, it’s even more important to keep her as separated as you can from Ghost’s activities.

Eventually the day will come when you have to cast off that identity completely, but two years isn’t long enough to make you eager to resume a life of being actively on the run from a government agency. You need to gather more influence – and protection – if you’re going to ever unmask without it being an immediate disaster.

To that end… Ariadne needs a cover. She needs a job, co-workers, hobbies. A new wardrobe. You need Ortega to take a breather and ease off on trying worm her way in and fix every little aspect of your life.

So you’ll combine the two.

Technically a ‘Melissa Simone’ owns the computer repair shop you’re standing in front of. Ms. Simone also interviewed and hired yourself and the middle-aged lady with greying hair now manning the front counter.

You put a hand on the front door, hesitating. You keep putting this off but… guess you better ‘officially’ meet your new co-worker.

A bell chimes as you step inside. Old computer advertisements adorn the walls while parts and models are neatly stacked into three aisles across the open front half of the room. The building itself is on the older side. Hopefully a bit more use will get it looking properly run down enough to seem like it’s always been a repair shop here.

The woman at the counter looks up with a smile, a phone pressed to her ear. She holds a finger up as you approach.

You didn’t hire Marcie for her customer service skills. You hired her because she’s a terminally incurious middle-aged woman who fully intends to spend as much of her time talking to friends on the store phone or otherwise shirking her duties as much as possible.

Leaning an arm against the counter you wait for her to finish her current conversation, drumming your fingers against the wooden countertop. Watch the clock on the wall tick the seconds by. Finally she hangs up and turns back to you with a tired expression. “Alright, what do you want?”

You put on a sickly sweet smile. “My name is Ariadne Becker? Y–your um… co-worker?”

Marcie blinks, frowns, then flushes red. “Oh!” She hurries out from behind the counter, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought you were a customer.”

“I could tell.”

She puts her hand out and you give it a quick shake. “Are you really the only repairm–person here?”

“Eh.” You shrug, glancing at the beaded doorway to the back room. “If business ever picked up maybe it’d be worth hiring more.” Glance back to her, smile again. “For now, I’m it yeah. I don’t usually bother with – with um, the front entrance.”

“Well, if you ever need something from me, sweetie, you let old Marcie know, okay?”

You blink, not sure how to respond. She wasn’t this nice to Jane– ahem ‘Melissa Simone.’ “Uh. Y–yeah, sure. Thanks.” You cough. “Um… Ms. Simone gave you the – the rundown about the back right?”

Marcie looks at you, arching a skeptical eyebrow. “To stay the hell out? Yeah.” She leans in, “So… what are we fronting here sweetheart? Drugs? It’s drugs isn’t it.” She straightens her back with a dramatic sigh. “It’s always drugs.”

“I – what???” You stare at her. “W–we’re not – not ‘fronting’ anything!?”

She frowns. Is she… disappointed…!? “Oh? Really? Well. A job’s a job, I guess.”

“I… I just have a… very particular system. Okay?” You shove your hands into your pockets, looking away from her. Stare at the posters on the wall.

“Ah. You’re one of those.” One of those what? You can’t pick it up from her thoughts, just the sliding of her changing expectations. “Well, I’ll keep out of your hair, sweetie.” She steps aside, “It was nice to meet you Ariadne, dear.”

You walk past her in a daze. Push through the bed curtain into your ‘workshop.’ A central table has a pile of half-deconstructed computer cases, their silicon guts scattered haphazardly. A tool kit hangs from the wall alongside a clear plastic cabinet of replacement parts.

Hopefully the facade holds up. You don’t have much intention of actually doing computer repair work here. It’s more than a little concerning that Marcie of all people immediately jumped to the ‘criminal front’ explanation. Was hiring her a mistake? She doesn’t seem to actually care. Maybe you should go out of your way now and then to drum up business. Put some effort into looking legit.

Aside from the bathroom and breakroom, there’s one more room. Your actual workshop. The shop technically is built onto the side of an old warehouse. You’ve walled off most of the space, installed a hidden door, just inside next to the back door out.

You didn’t use up the entire warehouse. Just walled off a decent sized chunk. The rest has been dressed up. Mostly shelves of boxes full of bricks. Something that’ll pass at least cursory inspection.

The door slides open to your touch, keyed to your fingerprint. It springs back into place as you step past. The lights flicker on at low-power. Now here is where you can finally start to get shit done. Your armor is mounted to a secondary hidden compartment recessed into the far wall, next to a bed in case you need to crash or puppeteer Jane for a bit.

You’re particularly proud of the hiding place you’ve created for the Rat-King; an oversized lava lamp sits on the bedside table, a soft blue glow filling the room. Even if anyone breaks in here, anything of value will still be hidden. You’re not completely stupid.

One corner of the room is taken up by a bank of screens and a computer terminal. A system of motion detectors, CCTV, and trip alarms have been carefully set up over the past month in a two block radius around the shop. Nothing is coming near here without you getting some kind of record of it.

And then, last but not least, against one wall a full-length table stretches underneath a pristine corkboard.

Not pristine for long… You reach back into your pocket and pull out a wad of folded up, blood stained papers. The only thing you were able to salvage from the Marconi fiasco. Could have just pinned this while you were setting everything up, you guess.

But this feels more dramatic.

You grab a pin from the cork board and smooth out the creases with your other hand. Jam the paper to the middle of the board. A bill of sale for something called a ‘Regenerator.’ You don’t recognize the name of the buyer, but the listed seller is the personal assistant to Mayor Alvarez.

You pin a scattering of related articles next to the receipt, your prize from today’s factory theft. They’re all related to the sudden government take-over and closure of the regenerator’s parent company, PharmaCore.

What exactly is going on here; you have no idea. But it’s shady as shit, and that means it’s a point of attack. If you’re going to crack the damn city open, this is your starting point. You grab a pen and paper as you sit down at the desk.

You hum a tune under your breath as you work. Time to start planning out your next moves.

[tbhwhocaresanymore]

Nancy Drew 1x10

SHE’S BACK BITCHES. DEAD LUCY IS BACK.

Ahem. Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Okay so I finally had time to rewatch the new Nancy Drew ep and it is just as fantastic as the first time. When you look at it in comparison to episode one you can really see just how much the characters have grown, as individuals and especially as friends. Bess being very obviously in George’s office so she’s not alone with Ryan? Watching George go from hating Nancy’s guts to trying to break open a door with poison on the other side just to get her out? Nancy very resignedly saying to Claire “yeah but they don’t ever listen to me.” Beautiful. And Ace is back from his coma, and it sounds like Lara Tandy also soon will be. The writers are just juggling so many storylines with such a huge cast, and they are doing such a great job which is a nice change of pace from the other shows I watch.

This episode had some phenomenal jump scares, mostly involving Dead Lucy (my literal favorite character). When they entered the gym and the lights and buzzer switched on with no warning? I physically fell out of my chair. And the plot was really good too. It was written like a stand alone episode, but also in a way where it still tied into the overall plot. Nancy hanging all the ghost traps, mentions of her dad’s arrest and her arraignment, the Bonny Scot stuff. As for Claire being the murderer? The second Nancy started showing symptoms and not Claire I grew suspicious, but the plot twist was still wonderfully done, and Claire’s actress did an amazing job for only having like five minutes of lines. Also, Ace’s dad? Huge plus. He seems like a cool character and I am always down for deaf/ASL representation, and they did it so well.

I don’t trust that the Bess being a Marvin storyline is fully wrapped up, it could just go so many different ways. And for it to have been the point of like six episodes only to be wrapped up in thirty seconds? Maybe Bess is not really a Marvin and Owen is playing her to get her to help him with the Bonny Scot case because I still do not totally trust him. But I may be biased here, because the book fan in me is still rooting for her and George to turn out cousins somehow, and if she’s cousins with both George and the Marvins? That’s pushing the suspension of disbelief a little bit.

I also truly do not know where they’re trying to take Ryan Hudson’s character. Maybe going for some sort of morally grey character, or an anti-hero? He told Bess and Owen he wouldn’t help them but he also has an artifact that was clearly from Bonny Scot, and wants to get together with his dad. If I had to guess, and I love to guess, I’d say he’s planning to blackmail his family with it. Whether to just get out, or maybe get recompense for Lucy all those years ago, I don’t know. But I do love that George does not buy his bullshit.

Nancy did a really amazing job this episode. Seeing what her father’s arrest has done to her, how much it has taken away her confidence and made her question herself. I am very much looking forward to her coming out the other side of this stronger than ever. And she is honestly so brilliant. Realizing Claire must have taken an antidote and that it was the ring on her finger because one of the pearls was missing? Are you kidding me? And even though she’s dying, using her possible last breaths to try and find out if this is the woman who killed Tiffany. And then seeing Nancy Drew, badass, crooked cop catching, murder solving, take no prisoners Nancy Drew, asking for mercy, saying she doesn’t want to die, because after all she’s only 19 years old? Spectacular.

All the Nancy and Nick moments? I am officially deceased. When he was performing CPR, his voice cracking as he yelled “come on Nancy!” And then when she woke up and he gave this little sort of half-sob and just held her into him, saying “got you, I got you.” I am dead and these writers have killed me. Then at the end, when they were leaving, and Nick left and Nancy sort of turned around and rested her head against the door. The shipper in me was hoping they would get back together right then, but I also think it’s good that they didn’t. Nick broke up with her because he feels she just doesn't have room for him in her life, I think he’s going to stick with that for a while, regardless of his feelings for her. In the meantime, still pretty sure the writers will go in the Nick x George and Nancy x Owen direction, or maybe Nancy x Ace? This episode definitely showed off their chemistry.

Now I have to talk about this, you know I have to talk about this, I am so looking forward to talking about this.

DEAD LUCY.

As I said, she’s BACK. When Nancy was walking toward the light and you could just sort of see her standing up? Poetic cinema. The second I could sort of see her silhouette I was like “FUCK YES.” Nancy is literally about to die and she’s just like “not today” and screams her back to life. I have two possible reasons. This plays into my Nancy is Lucy’s daughter theory, or it could be that she knows Nancy is her best chance of her murderer getting brought to justice after almost 20 years. And then at the end of the episode, when the camera pans, I legit sat up straighter and leaned toward the tv, all ‘come on where is she’. And then she was there in the closet doorway and I felt so vindicated.

The one downside of having a cast full of amazing characters is I want all of them to be on screen all the time. (Except Owen and Ryan, they can go get married and move to Europe and be shady husbands only mentioned in passing and I would be fine with that.) Chief McGinnis, Lisbeth, Victoria who I am still waiting on, Ace’s dad, Lara Tandy. I want them all to come back.

A few final thoughts moving forward. Is Nancy ever going to get arraigned for breaking and entering? This happened all the way back in episode one or two, and it keeps getting mentioned. I mean at this point Dead Lucy better show up and kill the judge, like I need something important to happen at this thing. I am also now even more invested in my ‘Nancy’s mom killed Lucy’ theory. Her dad isn’t explaining any of the evidence against him away, and the only reason he would do that is to protect Nancy. Now either he is protecting her from the Hudsons, because they told her dad to take the fall and he knows they’ll hurt her if he doesn’t; or, he is protecting her from the knowledge that her mom is a murderer. And because I feel like we’re supposed to think the Hudsons killed Lucy, it makes me think the mom killed her. Speaking of Dead Lucy, I’m hoping there was a specific reason Simon threw her very far away, and it’s not just chalked up to ‘he’s evil’. Still hoping that George eventually becomes psychic like her mom.

Super excited for 1x11 the promo and summary look promising. I have no idea how Carson’s arrest relates to the Bonny Scot sinking, but I can’t wait to find out. And Dead Lucy will be present, which immediately improves any episode quality by five thousand percent. And the episode title, the Phantom of Bonny Scot, makes me think we might be getting another ghost. Fingers crossed.