#Thank you for sharing your characters with us all

[dorabellingham]

Mini Bellingham

warning: none

characters: jude x fem!reader

summary: when after fans suspect, you actually find out you're pregnant

may contain spelling and translation errors!

A few weeks after the last wave of rumors that Jude Bellingham was going to be a father, you realized that something was really different. It wasn't just the slight swelling in your shirt, nor the symptoms that you attributed to the fast pace of travel and the crazy routine in Madrid. After a few days of feeling more tired than usual and having some morning sickness, you decided to put the doubt to rest once and for all.

The next morning, you took a pregnancy test from the bathroom, and a few minutes later, the two little lines appeared on the screen, confirming what you didn't even know you were expecting: you were pregnant. The emotion was intense and immediate. You laughed to yourself, tears welling up in surprise, and you stood there, absorbing the feeling of now having a precious and charming secret to share with Jude.

You knew he needed a surprise to match. After all, if the love of your life was going to find out he was going to be a father, it had to be in the most special way possible. You quickly planned a gesture that was symbolic and at the same time very much connected to the dream you both shared. In the following days, you sneaked out to organize everything: a mini-uniform of the English national team with the number ten and the name Bellingham on the back. You thought of every detail and, to make the surprise complete, you put together a kit with the uniform, the pregnancy test and a handwritten letter.

On the weekend, Jude arrived home after a hard training session, without thinking about anything. He was hungry and just wanted to rest. You smiled when you saw him come in distracted, already taking off his boots and adjusting his shirt. As soon as he sat down on the sofa, you approached him smiling and held out a small box with a red bow, which he accepted, confused.

—Is this… a present?

Jude asked, arching an eyebrow with a curious expression. You bit your lip, trying to contain your excitement, and shook your head.

—Go on, open it!

You said, with a smile that you could barely contain.

The eldest Bellingham opened the box and, when he pulled off the tissue paper, he came across the small uniform of the English national team. He looked at you with a surprised expression, not fully understanding, until he saw the pregnancy test. His eyes widened and his mouth opened in a smile of complete surprise and disbelief.

—Babe…? —He could barely speak, swallowing hard. —Are you… serious?

You nodded, smiling with your eyes full of tears.

—Congratulations, daddy!

You whispered, the words almost coming out like a melody.

He laughed, a surprised laugh, his face hidden in his hands as he processed the news. Emotion took over him, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight, long hug, laughing and crying at the same time.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Jude pulled away enough to look at you, his eyes brimming with happiness.

—A mini Bellingham… I can’t believe it! I’m already the luckiest man in the world just to have you, and now… Is this real?

You laughed, wiping a tear from his face.

—It’s real. And you know what’s funny? I think even your fans were already suspicious. But now, only the two of us know.

He looked at the mini-uniform in his hands, turning it over and getting lost in the details.

—I don’t even know how to thank you for giving me the greatest gift in the world, Y/n.

He kissed the top of your head, then brought his hand to your belly, still flat, but which would soon begin to show the first signs of this new phase.

You took the letter, handing it to him.

—There’s one more thing.

He opened the envelope carefully and read, still emotional:

"Dear Jude,

Thank you for being the best partner and the love of my life. I knew I wanted you to be the father of my children from the moment I realized I would do anything to be by your side. Today, I begin a new journey by your side, and I can only imagine how much we will love this baby. Our baby.

Thank you for everything, and thank you for being you. With all my love,

Y/n."

Jude could barely contain his emotion as he finished reading the letter. He looked at you, touched, and simply said.

—I love you more than anything in this world, love. More than I ever thought possible. And now... now there are three of us.

You snuggled into his arms, feeling completely at peace. From that moment on, your world was bigger, more complete, and the wait for that little Bellingham would be the sweetest of all.

[shepherds-of-haven]

SHEPHERDS OF HAVEN ALPHA PREVIEW UPDATE [11/26/24]

The Shepherds of Haven alpha preview has been updated here!

Note: This is not the same thing as the public demo, which is available for everyone and covers the first four chapters of the game: the alpha preview is the early access version available to Patrons and testers!

TOTAL WORDCOUNT: 1,234,733 WORDS WITHOUT CODE

WHAT’S NEW:

15,000 words of new content!

New Riel character interlude

New Shery character interlude

Make potions with Shery and hang out with some little-seen Mages like Red's friend Neon!

Help poor Aerin and convince Riel to take a walk instead of rotting behind his desk under a pile of work (it's harder than you think)

Sparks fly and much progress is made for those slow-burning Riel and Sherymancers...

Please be sure to read the specific developer notes on Patreon for more info, as well as check the Incomplete Routes Guide linked in the alpha build post if you have questions about how to proceed through the alpha build! 

WHAT’S NEXT:

Someone's character interludes--not sure whose yet! Chase was originally up to bat this month, but I backed down due to its emotional heaviness; maybe next month I'll feel strong enough to tackle that! 😅 We now have 11 interludes to go until we're ready for the Ascendancy Festival: 1 each for Blade, Trouble, Shery, Riel, Chase, Red, Ayla, and Halek, and 3 for Tallys! We're inching closer and closer! 🎉

I hope you enjoy this update and have fun! Please feel free to leave a comment here, on Patreon, and/or on our Discord: every thought, quip, meme, fan art, theory, story idea, fic, and comment means more than I can say! And THANK YOU ALL for reading and supporting: I am eternally grateful for the wonderful opportunity to share this little world with you all, and for all of your enduring encouragement and support! Thank you, and happy Thanksgiving to those celebrating in the US! 🦃🍁

[winchesterwild78]

Thankful for You

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester X Reader (wife), Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Cass, Jack

Warnings: Just a little holiday fluff.

A/N: Just a short story about Thanksgiving Day in the bunker. The reader and Dean are newly married and she wants their first Thanksgiving as a married couple to be perfect. 

I picked Dean instead of Jensen or any of his other characters, because Dean was the one who wouldn’t know what a traditional Thanksgiving would look like.

Does not follow the Supernatural story line. Used characters from the show, but all work is my own. I do not own the rights to these characters. 

Please don’t take my work. Reblogs and likes are appreciated.

Written fast and not edited, please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

I woke up early, Dean’s arm laying loosely over my body. I slipped out of bed to our shared bathroom and took a quick shower. I needed to get the turkey on so it could be ready before everyone came over.

Dean and I had been married about 6 months and this was our first real Thanksgiving. Since he grew up in the hunting life, Thanksgiving wasn’t something he celebrated. I on the other hand always had the traditional Thanksgiving with all the food, football and family you could handle. 

I had bought a turkey, ham, rolls, yams, potatoes, green beans, stuffing, and of course pie. I knew I wouldn’t have time to bake all the pies, so I bought a few, but wanted to make Dean a cherry pie from scratch. 

I was thankful we had multiple ovens in the bunker, otherwise there was no way I could pull off roasting a turkey, making a ham and the pie in one day. 

After my shower I went into the kitchen and prepared the turkey. Once it was in the oven I started on the pie and ham. By the time Dean got up I was washing and peeling potatoes. 

He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. His arms were crossed over his firm chest, and his feet crossed at the ankles. He smiled as he watched me flit around the kitchen.

“Need any help, sweetheart.” His voice startled me. I looked up at him and bit my lip. God I was so incredibly lucky to have him. “Good morning, Dean. No, I'm okay right now.”

He crossed the room, came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned into his chest and he kissed my temple. “Do I smell pie?” He grinned. 

“Yes you do, but it’s in the oven. You have to wait.” Dean’s bottom lip poked out in a pout. I turned and faced him, placing my hands on his chest. “Dean, it’s not ready yet. You have to wait.” “Is that the only pie?” He asked with a smirk. 

“Now what do you think?” I said as I walked towards the counter. I held up the pumpkin pie and a grin spread across his face. He took three steps towards me and took the pie out of my hand with a chuckle. 

“Dean Winchester, give that back to me. That’s for later.” He laughed as he held it over my head. “What’s wrong sweetheart? Can’t reach it? You’re welcome to have it back if you can reach it.” 

“Oh you’re so mean.” We both were laughing and I kept jumping, trying to reach the pie. Sam appeared at the door and saw us playing around. He loved seeing his brother so happy. 

“Alright you two, get a room.” He said as he walked in to grab a coffee. “Sam, please tell your brother to give me back the pie. It’s for later.” Sam chuckled, threw his hands up in defeat, “You’re on your own shortstack. I thought you’d know by now to never get in the way of Dean and his pie.” 

“Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side, Sammy.” I said as I kept trying to get the pie. “Thanks baby brother.” Dean laughed.

“Alright, both of you, out of my kitchen. I have dinner to finish and you’re distracting me, Dean.” Dean placed the pie down, pulled me flush to him and kissed my lips. 

“God I love you, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re mine.” “I love you too, Dean, and you better believe it. Until my last breath, I’m yours.” 

Dean walked out of the kitchen and turned back to look at me again. His heart leaped in his chest. 

I finished getting the rest of the food prepared and I set the dining room table. Sam invited Eileen, Jack and Cass were coming, and of course Dean and I would be there. I was excited to have all of our family there to help celebrate Thanksgiving. 

As I stepped into mine and Dean’s room I found him sitting at his desk writing. I hadn’t seen him write in a long time. He told me when we first started dating he would write sometimes to help with his anxiety. 

“Hey, baby. I’m just gonna jump in the shower before everyone gets here.” I said as I stepped into the room. Dean looked up, “Okay sweetheart. I’ll be done here in a minute.” I lightly touched his shoulder, “Okay Dean.”

“Hey sweetheart?” I turned to look at Dean from the bathroom doorway, “Yes?” “I love you.” I smiled, “I love you too, Dean.”

About twenty minutes later I was showered, dressed and ready for dinner. When I walked into the room, Dean was gone and his journal was tucked away in its spot on the desk. I nervously bit my lip. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness creep into my heart. Dean was upset about something, but he was keeping it from me. I had worked so hard to get most of his walls down, it broke my heart to think there was something bothering him that he felt he couldn’t share with me. 

I took a deep breath and walked towards the dining room. Sam, Eileen, Cas and Jack were all there chatting. I looked around for Dean but didn’t see him. 

They all greeted me, “Hey Y/N. Everything looks delicious, are you ready to eat?” I smiled, “Sure, y’all dig in. I’m going to find Dean.” Sam looked up at me, “He’s in the garage.” I nodded and walked towards the garage. 

I heard Dean before I even got in the room. I walked over to Baby and saw Dean sitting in the car. His eyes met mine, “Damn.” He whispered, causing me to blush.

“Dean, dinner is ready. Let’s go eat.” Dean climbed out of the car and pulled me flush to him. “Look at how beautiful you look, sweetheart. I am one lucky man.” “Don’t you forget it, Mr. Winchester.” “I could never, Mrs. Winchester.” 

“Before we go, Y/N I wanted to talk to you.” I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit my bottom lip, “Okay.” My voice barely a whisper. “I’ve done some pretty screwed up stuff in my life. I never thought I was worthy of anything, let alone love. Then I met you. I am thankful every single day I get to wake up next to you as your husband. You making this day special, this meal for us means so much to me. Nobody has ever loved me like you do. I know you saw me writing earlier, and I wanted to talk to you about that.” 

“Dean, you don’t have to. I know it’s how you deal with things in your head. Whatever you wrote, it’s okay if you keep it to yourself.” 

Dean stepped closer, “Baby I want to tell you. It’s about you, us.” “Okay, Dean. Whatever you have to say I can take it. No matter what it is.” My heart hammered in my chest. I was terrified and didn’t know why.

“Sweetheart, I’m ready.” I looked at him confused. “Ready to eat?” I asked. Dean chuckled, “No, well, yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m ready to start a family with you. I want us to have those babies we talked about. I want to leave this world a little better than we found it.” 

My breath hitched, “What? You really want to start a family?” “Yes, Y/N. I want to start a family with you. I can’t wait to see our babies and raise them by your side.” 

I threw my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist. “Yes, Dean! A thousand times yes! Let’s have a baby.” Dean kissed me deeply, “Wanna go start now?” He winked. 

“As much as I would, we do have a table full of guests who are hungry.” Dean chuckled, “You’re right. Let’s go eat. I can’t wait to get some of that pie you made.” “I can’t wait to start a family with you, Dean.” He grabbed my hand, “Me either, darlin’.” 

Dean and I walked into the dining room and greeted everyone. As I sat down and looked around the table at my family I smiled. I loved every single person sitting here with me, and I couldn’t wait to bring a little one into this family. 

We love each other deeply, protect completely, and never give up on each other. I know our baby will grow up loved, strong and protected.

As dinner started to wrap up, Sam and Eileen announced they were going to be getting married, Cas and Jack were rebuilding heaven, and Dean announced he and I were going to work on starting a family. 

Everyone was excited for us. Jack stepped close to me and whispered in my ear. I looked at him and he nodded. 

My heart fluttered. Later that night, Dean and I laid in bed, after a few times of trying and he held me tight. 

“Y/N, thank you for a wonderful day. I am so thankful for you.” “Dean, I am thankful for you too, and our baby.” 

Dean’s brain took a second to catch what I said. His eyes shot open and he propped himself up on his elbow, “What baby?” I looked at my husband, deep in his green eyes, “Jack told me tonight I’m pregnant, Dean. We’re pregnant.” 

“Oh my god, sweetheart. I’m gonna be a dad?” “Yes, Dean. You’re going to be a dad.” Dean gently placed his strong, calloused hands on my belly and kissed my lips. “Now this is something to be thankful for.” “Yes it is, Dean. Happy Thanksgiving, my love.” Dean cupped my face, “Happy Thanksgiving to you too, sweetheart.” 

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[jazjelspen]

ex-girlfriend

jeff the killer x fem! reader

(you've dated Jeff the Killer since high school and have known him for longer. You stayed even after he became who he is now.. but what if you became stronger than him? what if you became a completely new person entirely? and left your heavy-hearted killer boyfriend to rot?)

(notes: took inspo from fanon Jeff but also tried to write him into his own person of course :) will try to be realistic when it calls for it + took some creative liberties in certain aspects too. I also apologize if the characterization of Jeff and others isn't super fitting.. I'm still getting used to how I want to express them and construct them as characters and the world around them.)

(CAUTION!!!: includes dark/serious themes, mention of murder/death, use of cannab1s, slight implications of s3x, toxic relationships, physical abu$3, possible ooc(?) )

(NOT PROOFREAD)

[part 1/2]

you and jeff are a killer duo.

seriously and figuratively.

you two have always been attracted to each other, a connection you two couldn't see but you both knew it was there.

the older and closer you two got, the more you two realized you had more in common than you two initially assumed..

way, wayyy more in common.

but to skip a long origin story short, let me give you some details on how you and Jeff suddenly got separated in the way that you did.

you see, you and Jeff resided at the Slender Mansion.. mostly just to get Slender off your backs due to you guys finding solidarity and a sense of safety in the deep dark forests, far away from home. it kept you two safe from police, as well as anyone or anything else that could be a threat.

of course, the specific area you went into was territory of the thin and tall boss of the forests.. and you would've been dead meat if you two didn't create a sort of alliance with the deity, not exactly proxies yet you two still had to trade something in return for your lives.. the lives and bodies of others seemed to quell Slenderman's hunger quite well.

nonetheless, tonight was one of those nights in which you and Jeff had to find more lives to take, blood to shed.

this night was different though, as Jeff was currently stuck in your shared room after going through a minor operation at the hands of Eyeless Jack, another being that came and left as he pleased.

"You think he'll recover quick?" You perked up as you watched EJ sew in the last stitch in a cut that reopened earlier as he was helping Jeff into your room, cutting up the thread before standing back as you two stared at your injured boyfriend from beside the bed he laid on.

"Not as quick as you may think," spoke EJ, his calm, raspy, and slightly demonic voice sounding monotone as he isn't intending to comfort you in the slightest but just to inform you. "Slenderman's healing properties can only work so fast, the rest depends on his own body's will to repair itself."

"Makes sense, with how much the victim fought back and the cops almost got him by a hair.. " you let out a huff through your nose before crossing your arms over your chest and shook your head slightly. "It has never gotten this bad before..." You murmured before moving away to open the door for EJ to find his way out. "I know you don't usually accept 'thank you's but, thanks. I owe you one for saving his ass."

"Hm." hummed the blue masked being. He may have the form of a human, and sound like one to a certain extent.. but he doesn't have the feelings of one for all you knew. "I'm sure you know how to stitch him up again if another injury reopens, I won't be here the rest of the week as I'll be doing my own business elsewhere."

"Got it.." You opened the creaky wooden oak door to let him through, and he left just as fast as he came in.

Closing the door behind you and letting go of the rusty brass door knob, you sighed in exhaustion.

"Yknow, you've been awfully quiet--"

"Shut the fuck up or I'm going to slice your throat."

Your shoulders dropped as soon as you heard Jeff's empty threat escape his throat. You walked closer to him, your shoes making small thuds and the wooden floors creaking beneath your feet.

"There you are." you cooed, finally hearing him talk after being silent the entire time.. incredibly out of character for him yet you were sure the shame of getting as injured as he is now and having to be 'taken care of' definitely got to him. "I almost started missing you."

"Get my knife, get the rest of your shit, and let's move.. we have people to kill for fucks sake.." Jeff's hoarse voice cracked even further as he attempted to sit up yet the pain coming from his abdomen only caused his nerves his fire up, making him fall back onto the moldy mattress yelping in pain. "You're absolutely stupid for even thinking you're able to go out tonight Jeff." You proceeded to sit on the empty side of the bed beside him, your hand slowly reaching over to gently caress his brutally cut up cheek yet your lover only harshly smacked it away with the back of his own hand. "So.. you're telling me you're going to ignore what I fucking telling you to do?" Jeff groveled and huffed in irritation, if he wasn't so incapacitated he'd probably be pulling you by your arm or hair to get you to do what he told you. "Since when have you gotten so brave, doll?"

"Since I followed you and helped you kill your own family that night." You pulled your hand away, reminiscing the night when your Jeff turned into who he is now.

You remembered how much your heart swelled when you saw him covered in his family's blood, his fresh cut up smile and red inflamed burns across his body and face. You continued to love him just as much as you did before he became so disfigured.

He was your religion, and you followed him in devotion.

"Now, we still have to keep our deal with the big boss right? I'll do your kills for the night, then when your better tomorrow we'll finish up whatever else we have to do.. or hell we can just kill for fun to make it up to you, " you hopped off the bed as you spoke and walked over to a wooden rotting vanity in the corner of your room, with drawers that were unable to close and doors that were hanging by their hinges. Your hand reached over to get an empty crunched up ziplock bag and continued on to walk back to your boyfriend with the object in your hand. "What do you say? I'll even get you some of the good stuff to make you feel better." you spoke lovingly, your hand with the bag grazing over his misshapen nose as he inhaled it deeply with a faint sense of delight. It still lingered the smell of his favorite thing to smoke and get high off of.. aside from your kisses and affection of course.

"Fuck that smells good.." he mumbled before his beady black eyes then suddenly shot up at you with this look of angry hesitation. "This is the only damn time I'm ever letting you out of my sight, make it quick, come back, and if you take a fucking second too long I'll get up and drag you back by your hair myself, got it gorgeous?.."

"You won't even have to bother Jeff." you bent over slightly to give him a quick peck on the lips, but just as much as he was addicted to the green he was also addicted to your warmth, your lips, your presence and self.

You couldn't help but have to suddenly sustain your own body weight by resting an arm beside Jeff's head as his own uninjured arm went to grab you by the back of your head to pull you closer in a deeper, much more passionate kiss.

Hearts beating aggressively in a dark passion that was just as fiery and scarlet as the blood you two would spill on the daily, the faint smell of dried blood, mud, and rubbing alcohol reeked as you two struggled to inhale air with your noises clashing against each other, his aggressive and hungry kisses tasting of iron but also of old cigarettes and booze.

Normally this would disgust any one else that wasn't you, but you liked the way he smelled, how he tasted.. it reassured you that this was in fact Jeff, your Jeff.

Eventually, he would finally let you go by harshly pushing you away in order to break the kiss. He knew that if you stayed any longer he was gonna want you all to himself for the rest of the night, as close to him as you physically could.

"Get out of here and get back, ______. Don't make me wait longer than I have to."

You smiled at him, a sweet and sinister little smile that would somehow always get him hard every time you did it.

"You've got nothing to worry about."

two weeks.

two weeks passed since you disappeared that night.

Jeff recovered the night after you left, but you could imagine the absolute horror and rage he felt when he realized you never came back later that night.

With other residents also living in the mansion, residents with personalities and have bits of humanity left similar to Jeff, you can also imagine the slight wave of rumors to those that knew or noticed the two of you in your years in the mansion. Some say you made a deal with Slender and got to leave, others say that you got kidnapped, that you got brainwashed, caught by police, sacrificed to another higher being, stuck in an asylum or- simply that you died. There were endless possibilities but they all ended the same:

you hung Jeff dry, left his grasp and simply didn't come back.

Jeff would obviously try to get in contact with Slenderman as to know your condition, since he knew that the deity had the consciousness and psyches of every being or person he's made some kind of contact with in his hands.

Although he had to go through one, two, three of Slender's proxies, just to have a word with him somehow.. He would eventually get a word from the big boss through one of his more well known lackeys.

"She's fine, Jeffery. She isn't dead, she hasn't made any deals with him, and she isn't injured to death or whatever." the annoyed and exasperated voice of Masky would echo in the empty halls that the pair stood in, the arms of the mustard-yellow colored jacket would fold over his chest while also being in a sort of stance that expressed the fact that he simply just didn't want to be there.

"Then why the hell is she not back?? Does he know where she could be? If she was kidnapped? If she got arrested or put in a fucking ward?" Jeff yelled in an almost desperate sort of tone yet he would never admit it openly.

"Look, I don't fucking care whether she's alive, dead, stuck in a fucking hole or hell! if she's sucking some other guy's dick that isn't yours! But all I know that is that if she left on purpose he would've already had me or one of the others to get her back, but he hasn't so maybe she's nearby or some shit like that."

Anyone around could see that Jeff was on the verge of reaching over for his knife and cut Masky in half, yet he knew better than to do that to him of all people. "Does he at least know where she is?? I'll get her myself if I have to just give me a fucking address, some place to know where she could be!.."

If Masky wasn't wearing a mask, he'd probably be rolling his eyes to oblivion, irritated beyond belief at something like this even being a problem. "No. But as I already fucking said, if he isn't asking one of us to chase her down and get her back then you shouldn't have to overreact the way you are right now." the proxy proceeded to brush past him without a care, but said one last small thing before he left Jeff's vicinity completely.

"By the way, stop bothering the other proxies about this as we could care less about your girlfriend, just get a new one and fuck off!"

Jeff stood there, trembling in an anger he hasn't felt since the day he attacked his bullies and his brother took the blame for it.

He wasn't exactly reassured, but he also knew that he was very limited and there wasn't much he could do.

But he was restless, so you bet your ass he was going to go look for you even if it was just stalking the streets and killing anyone in his wake.

luckily for him, his waiting would end soon enough.

the week after that, he'd get the news of his life.

he'd been killing all week, killing innocents as he usually did but at a quicker and animalistic pace, he would almost get caught this time by the cops yet again but before his spree could continue he received some news thanks to that cheeky voice that would speak to him through the screens.

he would come back to the mansion, battered and bruised beyond belief. the calluses on his hands split and bled, cuts everywhere all old and fresh, he was ruthless in his murders as well as he was careless.

he needed you to ground him, you were the reason as to why he has even been alive for as long as he has.

his hand seemed to be superglued to the handle of his sharpened knife even as he was dragging his legs towards EJ's basement, where he was led to believe he would find what he was looking for.

He aggressively banged on the metal door with his fist in anticipation, not being able to wait any longer than how much he's already had to. The one to answer the door would be Eyeless Jack as it is his "resting" place in the mansion so to speak.

Once the door opened Jeff would quickly push past EJ not needing to be accepted in the space for him to go in.

"Where is she??" he shouted, his voice boasting in the cold concrete room. "I was told you found her, where the fuck is she?"

EJ would calmly close the door before slowly leading Jeff towards a corner of the large space, where a long, clean-white room divider seemed to hide something.

well, more like someone.

That was when Jeff finally saw you, your limp body laying there and your face had this gentle expression you'd usually make when you were sleeping. Beside you stood Nurse Ann, who was gently cleaning the countless cuts and lacerations you had around your body with several cotton pads and changing gauzes as well.

Jeff's heart fell down to his stomach, he would've started reeling and throwing up if he didn't rush to take a closer look at you only to see that your chest was still rising and falling.

He sighed in relief.

"As you can see, she's alive." spoke EJ as he took a few steps closer, "Nurse Ann found her as she was coming back to the mansion, she found her body laying on the edge of where Slender's territory ends and the rest of forest. She also claims that ______ wasn't there when she left, so she probably appeared a little later that same day."

Jeff's hand trembled slightly as he reached out to touch your face with the back of his hand, yet hesitated slightly when his hand could almost feel the warmth of your skin.

But that's when he took a minute to really take in the rest of your appearance.

Your entire body even your face was dirtied in dried mud and soil, your fingernails were dirty and chipped, your arms and cheeks were decorated in scratches and cuts of various sizes, and your clothes.. seemed to have been replaced with a clean hospital gown and your missing shoes were replaced by socks.

EJ continued on, "And so you don't go attacking me, Nurse Ann changed her clothes. According to her they were tattered and beyond repair, and that they were completely soiled in blood."

"Blood?" Jeff spoke up in slight concern,

"The blood wasn't hers."

[nthspecialll]

Going to ramble a little bit here and I’m curious to hear your thoughts. Bill is one of my favourite characters in rdr2, which is a statement people often validly criticise because of Bill’s racism, aggression, general bigotry, and of course the monster he grows into in rdr1. But to me Bill is such a heartbreaking character because I truly believe he could have been so easily swayed down a better path if someone had have just tried to help him.

Bill was a very insecure and repressed man and throughout the entirety of the second game he is constantly seeking appraisal from the gang, you see it in the random camp interaction where he makes a show of bringing fish to Pearson, desperate for any kind of acknowledgment for his hard work and he only gets a small thank you from Pearson and Arthur in return. You see it in the sentiment that Bill repeats a few times when talking about his jealousy of Arthur, how he feels like he’s not allowed to make the same mistakes Arthur would be given a slap on the wrist for. You see it when he asks Kieran to have drink with him and then becomes upset and defensive when his genuine vulnerable attempt at connection is rejected.

A lot of people can’t see past Bill’s racism, which is fair, but I also see it as another really tragic and realistic part of his character. In his racist interactions with Charles, Lenny and Javier I think he’s acting out for attention because he doesn’t know any other way to get it and I don’t believe he actually holds real hatred for any of them because of their race, I think Bill deeply loves and respects them as his brothers despite his mistreatment of them. I see this as different to someone like Micah who is just genuinely hateful in his black little heart. Bill was taken into the army as a young man and spoon fed racist rhetoric by the people he respected and looked up to, his superiors, his brothers in arms. They’d share boogeyman stories about how bloodthirsty the natives were and fill his impressionable mind hatred, and then he had all those racist horror stories reaffirmed when they’d send him out to watch the men he considered brothers be slaughtered in battle by said boogeymen. I think it’s clear Bill has PTSD from his army days which warps the way he sees the world around him, I think Dutch (despite the can of worms that is his own racism) says it best when he says “I don’t doubt you saw things Bill but your tiny little mind was too small to comprehend what you saw. What you saw was people who lost everything to savagery.” I believe that Dutch especially, considering the idol he is to Bill, had the opportunity to educate him and help him be a kinder man and yet he chose not to despite his Evelyn Miller fuelled white-saviour-complex. Bill’s trauma obviously doesn’t excuse any of his actions, but I think it is evidence that he had the capacity to learn and be helped if someone had just believed in his intelligence enough to try.

Also lastly a big part of Bill’s insecurity can be attributed to his repressed sexuality, people talk about it a lot so I won’t say much but the part of it that hurts me the most is that Bill lost EVERYTHING for being gay. When he was discharged from the army he lost his job, his home, his food, his friends and his dignity. He was left homeless on the streets, turning to alcohol and becoming the man his father was, and robbing people just to get by. Dutch saved him and became his messiah, he gave him purpose again and then intentionally left him uneducated and pining for his approval to use him as a tool the same way the army did. Taking advantage of all the good parts of Bill Williamson and leaving them to rot and fester under the filth.

What are your thoughts on how Bill was treated and what could have changed for him had he been treated differently? RIP Bill Williamson I could have taken better care of you <3

Well you touched on a lot of subjects that I have already touched on in my other Bill posts, so I guess I won't need to go into background details LMFAO.

Bill was treated like a fool by everyone for every small mistake he has every made no matter how small it is, because most are small, and he is also blamed for things that aren't really his fault, like Sean's death. He is pretty much that one person you use as the butt of a joke, and a lot of characters don't really give him a fair chance.

John actually seems to be his best friend though, they are both kind of labeled as lazy, they are both drunks and they both know it is a problem. The issue is that John is given a lot more freedoms than Bill is and that leads to him becoming very jealous very easily, John to some extent seems to notice it but it doesn't seem to bother him.

Bill really seems to like Lenny, taking him out to drink and out to rob and calling him his son, however Lenny doesn't really seem to be that enthusiastic. It seems that Lenny goes with Bill when Bill asks, but he doesn't seem to be the one to take initiative to do something with him.

Now Hosea, he is absolutely not giving Bill a fair chance, he is going after him constantly and literally setting Bill up for failure. Hosea really seems to be using his senority against Bill and being a dick to him. Micah does the same, except he seems to hide it a little better because he feels they are on the same side.

Dutch is treating Bill like he is a child and a fool, even thoguh everything Bill does it to please Dutch.

As for what could have changed, I think a lot, like a lot. Steve said that if just someone had told Bill "hey we appriciate you" he would have sided with Arthur, and that is a massive thing because it means betraying Dutch whom he is otherwise so loyal to. So I think you can change pretty much anything about Bill if you just treat him nicely, it might take some time and a few reminders, but yeah his racism, his sour comments, his drinking could likely be changed if just effort was put into it, if someone encouraged him and stood by him.

[eddiegettingshot]

Tbh I was radicalized this summer when you said we have progressed past the need for eddie therapy spec and fics. i havent read a single one since and probably wont again and my life has been so peaceful since… he literally does not need that. He just needs to feel secure and open with his feelings, needs to let people love him fully, and maybe some grief counselling/a support group to go to occasionally. If frank was going to help with that he would have in s3. (no offence to people who write/read therapy fics Im sure they are wonderful and profound and frank is actually good at his job in them)

helpppp good. thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about my beloathed therapy eddie because i think it’s so so so funny that after 8x06 the predictable response was that eddie needs to go to therapy. which i feel like there are soooo many things happening on both the character and the story level. like what’s funny is that frank really could not be a good therapist on screen because that’s not interesting tv. i’m not a therapist but i imagine that in fear-o-phobia he should have probably like. worked with eddie to decide on who he’d try to contact, figure out how the conversation might go, work on coping strategies, etc. but obviously eddie had to blow up. it’s funny because all of the other presumably “good” work frank does is completely off screen. because it’s uninteresting. so eddie wouldn’t have the kind of therapy arc people think he should have anyway, it’s quite literally just something people demand because they need a virtue signal that eddie is “trying” (and of course therapy is the only picture of “trying to heal”). the fact that he’s growing and dealing with stuff outside of therapy is like, not acceptable i guess? i think it’s also funny that as far as fic goes eddie is pretty much always in therapy but it is truly once in a blue moon that we see buck or really any other character talk about therapy.

anyway on the character level. obviously people who relate to eddie’s experience might find therapy really useful but i am not talking about real people i’m talking about a character who is fake. something that is very funny and interesting to me is that in the fear-o-phobia scene eddie is pretty much being resistant and mean and a bitch the whole time but when frank says “you can’t put all your feelings in a box eddie because someday it’ll blow up�� and eddie literally already knows what’s going on (“…and take me with it”). actually eddie pretty much always knows what’s going on when he’s having issues it’s just he packs it all down. so seeing a character like this do the internal pathologized work of therapy with just. A Therapist. is… soooo boring to me. it’s funny because i do think frank was right. like in the end i think it’s sort of indicated that eddie is not only feeling this survivor’s guilt/pointlessness but that he also fears he’s going to end up like all the other people who share his pain. so he does need that sort of external pathway to dealing with his issues, like… exactly what you said… leaning on the people in his life… loving them and letting them love him… perhaps a support group or volunteering or whatever… in terms of an actual story these things are soooo much cooler and more fun than what therapy stuff can offer eddie specifically (like… strategies? identifying various cognitive distortions? idk). because he’s already a character who’s always in his head… it’s so much better. To Me. to see him work through things in other ways. such as by talking to a gay priest.

[dead-dolphins]

I'm always in when it comes to Taylor Swift, so please tell us what fic you imagined!

Pd: your mind is something amazing to me, like, how can you create fics plots so quickly? that's the mind of an artist there!

Oh my gosh, I love it so much when someone supports my chaotic, nonsensical ideas! Honestly, it feels so good to just have someone to bounce these wild thoughts off. And thank you for calling me an artist! I don’t usually think of myself as one, but hey, I’ll take the compliment, it’s really sweet of you to say that.

So, what I was trying to say earlier is that the song Cowboy Like Me makes me think about these two fascinating characters, artists in their own right, but more like tricksters or con artists, really. They have this uncanny ability to make people fall head over heels for them, but it’s all part of the game. They use their charm to get what they want, whether that’s money, gifts, or just the thrill of pulling the strings. But then, the twist is that they try to play that same game with each other and end up falling for real. They both get caught in their own trap, which I think is just chef’s kiss 👌🏼 for the story I have in mind.

Here’s what I’m picturing: It’s the 1920s, right? The peak of glitz and glam, with jazz music spilling out of speakeasies and fashion that’s daring and carefree. I was thinking it would be set somewhere impossibly elegant, like the French Riviera or Monaco, those dreamy places where the rich and fabulous went to play. Mikasa would be this stunning flapper, effortlessly stylish and oozing confidence, the kind of woman who walks into a room and has everyone’s attention without even trying. Meanwhile, Eren would be the male equivalent of a flapper, if that’s even a thing, suave, sharp, and so dangerously charming that people (women) can’t help but fall under his spell.

Both of them are hustlers at heart. They’ve learned how to play the game, how to make people fall for them and, in the process, loosen their purse strings. They’ve each perfected the art of seduction, not because they’re romantics, but because it’s a way of surviving, thriving even, in a world where money equals power. Love? That’s a weakness neither of them has time for.

The story kicks off in this ridiculously extravagant hotel, all marble floors and glittering chandeliers, where the elite are hosting some grand affair. Mikasa and Eren are both there as the “plus ones” of two very wealthy patrons, essentially escorts, but in that subtle, 1920s way where it’s all about appearances. They notice each other almost immediately. Maybe it’s a glance across the ballroom or an accidental brush past each other, but there’s this instant connection. Not love at first sight, though, it’s more like they recognise each other. Like, “Ah, here’s someone who knows the same game I’m playing.”

That’s when the fun starts. They begin this cat-and-mouse game, trying to outdo each other. Mikasa might flirt her way into stealing a target Eren was working on, just to prove she can, while Eren might turn the tables and sabotage one of her schemes with an infuriating grin. They’re constantly trying to one-up each other, and the tension between them is just electric.

But here’s where it gets interesting, they can’t stop thinking about each other. At first, it’s curiosity. Who is this person who’s as clever and sharp as I am? Then it’s attraction, though neither of them would ever admit it. They’re both too guarded, too used to seeing love as a tool or a weapon, to recognize that what they’re feeling is different.

The story builds with these playful, charged interactions. Maybe they share a dance at one of the hotel’s grand parties, where they both drop their masks for just a moment, caught up in the music and the closeness. Or maybe there’s a quieter scene, where they find themselves alone after a successful scheme, and the conversation turns unexpectedly real. They start to see beyond the game, catching glimpses of the person underneath the charm.

And the ending? It’s not a dramatic declaration or a perfect happy ending, it’s more like this subtle, bittersweet realization. They’ve been playing with each other all along, testing and teasing, but somewhere along the way, they stopped pretending. They actually fell for each other. It’s a little bit of a “whoops, we’re in love now” moment.

What do you think, Anon? I even have the name for this LOL “Gardens of Babylon” named in the song!

[disgruntledkittenface]

Hi Maggie! I have a question (or few lol) on your personal opinion/experience, if you're willing to share. I have been reading fic for...a very long time lol but I have never read any abo. Based on some self-reflection I think it's that I just don't know how it works so I think I won't understand the fic or will miss important nuances. But I just read the description of your accidental courting fic and it sounds super cute! And I'm reminded of all the times I've read a fic description and was interested, then realized it was abo so I didn't read it (which feels so embarrassing to say!). I know my apprehension is likely keeping me from experiencing something I might really enjoy. And so my question is, what about abo fics do you think you cannot find in other fics? Or put another way, what do you like about abo fics in general? Also how did you get into writing them?

hiii anon! First, thank you for saying that the accidental courting au sounds cute! (I think it is, but I wrote it lol) And it's fun to get an opportunity to talk about this trope, which I'm going to refer to as omegaverse, I'm glad you asked <3

I'm going to link a primer that @allwaswell16 wrote because it covers the basics really well and includes links for further reading. That said, the trope can get very subjective and there are still things I don't understand fully. Like it gets a little hazy when I think about scenting glands, and I hope @crinkle-eyed-boo won't mind me saying so, but neither of can actually visually a nest. So I get your apprehension, but I don't think you need to know all the details to enjoy the trope.

The thing about omegaverse is that sometimes it can feel like a way to make a gay couple straight. When I get that vibe from a fic, I just close the tab. But I was talking about this with @lululawrence years ago, and she was explaining that there are writers who use omegaverse to explore dynamics similar to men/women because that lets them do it at a little bit of a distance. And I understand that – as a writer, sometimes I want to explore something with a female character because I identify as female, and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want that distance.

I think what appeals to me about omegaverse is that it's kind of primal. Sometimes I'm in the mood for instincts to just take over! It's kind of like a soulmate au in that way, almost like an external force guiding two characters if that makes sense.

I hope this isn't obnoxious but since we're talking, I decided to just go through each omegaverse fic I've written (only 6!)

For a long time, I didn't plan on writing omegaverse. But then I saw a few prompts for a fest that were clearly submitted by the same person, and it was just so sweet because they all ended with "please." The one I picked said "A soft Narry where Harry is alpha and Niall is omega, please." so I got to anything I wanted with it. I thought about doing something with Niall modeling Omega watches because I thought that was hilarious, but there was something at the back of my head telling me this Harry would be ace. So I decided to explore that a bit and I centered it around touch deprivation because sometimes I feel a little touch deprived. a little tenderness

Then for some reason, I got really into the idea of an alpha building a nest for their omega. And I had this little snippet of a scene in my head with one partner saying "you've been so sad lately" and the other one not wanting to admit why, but they already know. So those two ideas kind of morphed, and then I wrote a couple of other scenes that just like INTRIGUED me so I could get them out of my head. with love on the line

I saw a prompt about accidental courting, and then decided to actually try writing it after a friend encouraged me. I struggled to get going because originally I wanted Harry not to realize he even had a crush on Louis, and the characters simply would not cooperate. So he could only be oblivious about the courting rituals, not the crush. I want to say this is the most, like, stereotypical omegaverse that I've written? But it still starts with alpha Harry baking. baby, you're the end of june

I do not remember why, but at some point I got really interested in how girl direction omegaverse would work. I went looking on tumblr and online, and found a couple of references. So originally I wanted to explore the mechanics. But it became really, really personal while I was writing! I did not mean for that to happen! But I love how this one turned out. enough to make a girl blush

THEN I was like... but what about two female alphas? I don't know if the scents in this one quite work, they did in my head. But after this one, I felt like I kind of got f/f omegaverse out of my head because I had figured it out. when we're finished saying nothing

Although then I decided to do a cute followup on a side pairing from enough to make a girl blush for a fest. count me in

WAIT OKAY I'M SEEING A PATTERN. TWO PATTERNS.

CARETAKING – I think that I like seeing one partner taking care of the other in omegaverse (although I probably like that in all tropes)

And honestly, I just like trying new things.

So for me, I do like the unique aspect of the instincts and primal nature in omegaverse, but it's also just kind of a fun playground because you can do so many things.

I hope this wasn't too long! And listen, I know people who love omegaverse and people who won't read or write it, so there's no wrong way to fandom <3

[thatzombiecat]

AAA I appreciate this so much! 😭😭

Brace yourselves for this longread is gonna be loooooooong!! (I'm really sorry for the gargantuan sized post this about to become, jamming this all in one, BUT I have to)

For this Giving Thanks-Week I really want to extend my personal gratitude for everyone below.

RT fandom is honestly the loveliest thing ever happened to me over a long period, and it's been such a joy and honor to be a part of, truly. So happy sharing the space and connecting and meeting with such an amazing creatives and passionate people.

@redbatchedcumbermayned RRRIGHT BACK AT UU FRAN!!!💖💖 Thank you for being a pillar and a source of inspiration for us all in the community, it's so good to have you with us!! And for your remarkable contribution in the fandom: the raw emotions and the feelings, the pacing, is what I admire most in the stories you tell which is a blast to witness every time in every chapter ;w;

Check out the latest chapter of 'Much Ado About The Lord Captain' with Heinrix and Isha von Valancius! from WrathOfFran!

@sotc For being here with us as part of the fandom and for your endless creativity! I'm so happy for the art trade that connected us and endlessly grateful for the opportunity, so happy to know you bestieeee!!! 🥺♥♥

Check out their beautiful RT drawings here on tumblr!

@maggotknight Fiiiinnnnn! Thank you for and your genuine support and faith and for being such a wholesome person as you are! Your big pieces and small doodles alike all fill my heart with such a joy every time I see them as I've said before♡♡ Omnissiah blessings be upon ye Archmagos!!

You have to see more of her amazing stuff here and say some nice things

@holylustration Your storytelling and narration approach are... gosh it's just simply indescribable as I couldn't convey it with words, it's such a thrilling adventure that making me fuzzy every time I read any of your piece. Thank you for sharing them all with us Holyyy!

Go read the latest chapter of 'Predator & Prey'! ft. Marazhai and Rogue Trader Aurelia von Valancius!

And also an honorable spotlight: my appreciations for Olga Kellner (dontrestyourhead) (although she's not present here afaik) and her writing team for sharing their stories connecting us all together, whose sparks of creativity generated a chain of flames fueling our arts and passion. She's an artist as well, and I hope our creations would inspire her team and her personally much like their own creativity inspires ours, and that we'll see more of her wonderful artworks and stories shared in the future ❤❤

Check out her artworks on the bluesky!

And for you all not mentioned above, but who contributed in the Rogue Artists legion, who shared your arts and things with us. Keep creating, keep going, yall are amazing. ❤❤

Giving Thanks-Week: Go celebrate your fav Rogue Trader creators and creations this week, repost, leave nice comments and show your appreciation too, don't be shy!

Rogue Trader Giving Thanks-Week

It is Thanksgiving week in Ameraland. In tandem with @holylustration 's Dopamine Week, I would like to propose a Giving Thanks week 💖

Send, asks anon or not, telling your fellow rogue traders how much you appreciate what they bring to the space!

and

Reblog this post with a shout-out to your favorite piece of Rouge Trader art. Let's daisy chain all the amazing things the Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader space has created!

[eluvianarts]

✨ Happy Holidays from Thedas! 🥂 A little gift for some wonderful Dragon Age friends!

OCs from left to right: Visériel Lavellan - @eluvianarts Ellana Lavellan - @haverdoodles  Maordrid/Ouroboros - @mogwaei  Poppy - @naeviss 

[pushing500]

What's it like being a mechanitor?

Being a mechanitor is awesome!! It takes a bit of getting used to at first, having all those ultrafine wires settling into their places around your skull, but after that, you have so much power!! You can get mechanoids to do everything you want with little more than a thought! It's perfect for anybody who wishes to transcend their weak, useless bodies! The first step toward a perfected humanity!

... Of course, there are drawbacks. If you happen to be suddenly spawned into existence with every memory of being a mechanitor but none of the actual abilities, it will leave you feeling hollow and more useless than you ever felt before. Now you know what you could be, you feel the loss that much more sharply.

That would never happen, though, so we probably don't need to consider such a ridiculous, outlandish scenario.

[jessamine-rose]

*lovingly tackles Aine*

Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽｀)

Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—

*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3

[ravewing]

beefscrap, i just wanted to thank YOU for sharing your incredible ocs and story with us.

i first saw your art on my dash in i think july, and i was immediately captivated by it. your artstyle is absolutely gorgeous and charming and i love how every individual character is unique and your usage of shape language and colors and fluidity is breathtaking.

i normally dont (and never really have before) get into other peoples ocs/fanfics, so i sort of put off reading tbofs until the tail end of october, but once i started reading it i literally got so sucked into it. i love your storytelling, i love all the characters, i love how well thought-out it all is; genuinely i have never felt so attached to a cast of characters that aren’t my own.

i just cant get over how much care and thought you’ve poured into this project. its so clear how much love you have for these characters and their story, and its absolutely infectious. your little characters have wormed their way into my brain chemistry and now my teachers have to see stupid doodles of sheephead and all of my friends know all the lore because i literally cannot stop thinking about it.

i absolutely think that you have every right to call it a fanbase– if tbofs has no fans then i am DEAD !! truly i cannot get enough of your ocs and your story, everything is put together so perfectly and with so much love and care that its impossible not to be obsessed. your work has genuinely inspired me in so many ways, and the fact that you’ve built something so captivating and impactful is such an achievement, and you absolutely deserve all the love and excitement your fanbase brings. keep doing what you’re doing because its absolutely brilliant !!

thank you so much for putting your little ocs and their story out there for us to experience :)

I say “maybe someday” but I get scared someday never will come. So I’ll be brave and speak

“A dream come true” is a phrase I’ve said here before, but that doesn’t even graze the surface. I’ve been writing stories and drawing since I was very young. It’s all I’ve ever done. And for years, one of my biggest wishes was to collect a fanbase for at least one of my stories. Calling my followers a “fanbase” seems really intense, though. I hesitate to call my readers a fanbase because I don’t feel I deserve it. “Fanbase” feels like it’s for someone who made something AMAZING.

I started making TBoFS at the beginning of this year. I’d work on it whenever I got sad, and it turned out to be often. It was just for fun, and something to escape to. Every time I make a story I think to myself ‘I’m sure it’ll pass’, because they usually do. It’s hard for me to finish things in general. So, I thought nothing much would come of it. I never would’ve imagined it’d get as much attention as it does.

No, maybe it’s not a LOT. No way in hell I’d call myself popular, or anything CLOSE. But there are people now who comment, react, interact, theorize, make art, etc for this story. I’ve never felt so special. I never felt like anything I’ve done ended up with any significance. Even if it’s a small amount compared to other online creators, I feel like I have a fanbase. If it’s not considered one, I don’t care. To me it’s one of the biggest, most important things that happened to me. If you couldn’t tell I was dramatic before, you’re finding out now!

I started with low hopes and just made shit for fun. This doesn’t even feel like a very GOOD story half the time because it was so casual at the start. Like, what am I doing to deserve what I have?

I still come to this story and these characters when I’m sad. This year was rough. The people here have helped. And I have a little bit of hope now that someday I can make something totally my own that people will like. That’s always been the dream. But THIS is more than enough.

I’m so lucky to have people who care here. And I thank the people who cared when it was only just beginning, too

I’m not gonna add tags or anything cuz I feel annoying and am a little embarrassed 😭 if you see and read this then hopefully it wasn’t too weird

[winchesterwild78]

An Unexpected Friendship pt 9

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, Jensen’s children

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: FLUF

A/N: This is a short story written in collaboration with @cheekygirl2309.

This chapter is so full of fluff. It’s a roller coaster, but a good one. Some big things happen in this chapter. 🥰 A few time jumps.

No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Written and edited fast-please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

Jensen left a few weeks later to go back to work. The kids and I were excited to follow him as soon as school got out for the summer. When Jensen arrived in Canada he signed the paperwork for the house and he had been living there, waiting for us. 

I was packing the kids and I up for our trip. Jensen suggested I pack enough clothes for a week, and we would get some more clothes when we got there just to keep and use while we were there. 

As we boarded the plane, the kids and I were so excited. In a few short hours we would be back with Jensen. Halfway through the flight the kids fell asleep. A middle aged woman sitting near us smiled softly, “Your children are so beautiful, and so well behaved.” I smiled at her, “Thank you. Their dad and I are incredibly lucky to have all of them.” 

She nodded and smiled. I sent Jensen a text.

Me: Hey baby, we have a few hours left, the kids are fast asleep.

Jensen: I can’t wait. Clif and I are going to meet you guys at the airport. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms. 

Me: Me either. I can’t wait to see the house either. Maybe break in that new bed. 😘

Jensen: You better believe it, all night long baby. 😀

Me: I’ll hold you to it. I love you, see you soon.

Jensen: I love you too, and I can’t wait. 

I set my phone back down and looked over at our babies. They were all sleeping peacefully and my heart warmed at the sight. These four beautiful, sleeping children were now a huge part of my life, and I couldn’t see a future without them in it. 

When we finally landed and were headed towards the gate my anxiety started to creep up. I was anxious about getting the kids off the plane and to the baggage claim where Jensen was supposed to meet us. I knew this airport was large, and I didn’t want to lose them.

“Okay guys, when we get off this plane you four hold hands and JJ, you hold on to me, okay?” They all nodded. Before we could get off the plane a stewardess approached me. “Ma’am, are you Y/N Y/L/N?” “Yes, I am. Is there a problem?” “Oh no, we’ve been asked to escort you and your children off the plane to prevent any issues with fans. Mr. Ackles called the airline and told them there were pictures of you and the children on social media with your travel information. We just want to make sure you are all safe.” “Thank you, I really appreciate it.” 

“Okay, please follow us and we will get you guys out and through the airport and to Mr. Ackles.” We followed them and hopped on a transportation cart that zipped through the airport. I’d noticed a few people had their phones out, so I told the kids to keep their heads down. I didn’t want their pictures taken unless Jensen was okay with it. 

We pulled up to a private room and we were ushered in. Inside I saw Jensen and Clif standing there. I leaped into Jensen’s arms. “Jensen! I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t know anyone was taking pictures of the kids.” He held me tight, “Hey, it’s okay baby. It happens, you are all safe and here where you belong.” 

The kids ran to Jensen when I let him go, each one hugged him tightly telling him all about the last few weeks. “Hey guys, let’s get our stuff and go home.” I smiled at Jensen when he said that. “Yes, home.” I said.

We grabbed our bags and Clif drove us to the new house. It was even more beautiful in person. The kids had their own rooms, even though Jazzy and Arrow decided to share a room, and of course Jensen and I had a beautiful suite for our room. The bathroom was just as big as the bedroom. It had a double shower, and a huge double soaker tub. “Lots of room for both of us in that shower and tub, darlin’.” Jensen said with a smirk on his face. “We might have to test them out soon, baby.” 

We got the kids in bed, and Jensen and I sat in front of the fireplace, he had a glass of whiskey and I had a glass of wine. Everything was perfect. “Jensen, the house really is beautiful. Thank you.” “Oh baby, you’re welcome. This is our home. I want you to make any changes you want to make it feel more like ours. I nodded. 

As we sat sipping our drinks my mind kept wandering back to our conversation about marriage. “What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” “Honestly?” Jensen nodded, yes. “Us, our future, getting married.” 

Jensen sat his drink down, “What about it? Are you having second thoughts?” “Oh absolutely not. I want that more than anything. I was just thinking about what life would be like being Mrs. Jensen Ackles.” I blushed a little. 

“Well sweetheart, I can tell you it would look pretty much like this, the only difference is you’d be recognized more in public.” “Yeah, I just want to make sure the kids are safe when we go out.” “They will be, you will be, I promise.” 

Jensen stood, pulled me up and into his arms. “I’m so glad you’re here baby. I’ve missed you, your lips, your body.” He started kissing down my body, “Jensen, let’s take this upstairs.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs, “You don’t have to tell me twice.” I giggled as I ran with him. 

We made it to the bedroom, Jensen closed and locked the door, and we made up for lost time, and Jensen was true to his word. We broke in the bed, all night long. 

*Time Jump December*

Jensen had just gotten home from a convention. I was supposed to go with him, but I had gotten sick and couldn’t go. I was completely bummed. Jensen and I had been dating for almost a year and there were pictures of us online with speculation we were dating. Jensen and I hadn’t confirmed anything yet, but he was going to confirm it at this convention since it was the last one of the season. 

“Jens, I’m so sorry I got sick and couldn’t go with you. I know you were excited to share our relationship with your fans.” I sniffled and coughed. “Hey, it’s okay. You can’t help you’re sick. We can always make a post online if you want to.” “Once I’m better we can if you want to.” “I do, Y/N. I can’t wait to share you with everyone. I’m so proud you’re mine and Jazzy is mine.” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead, “Now you lay back down and get some rest. I’ve got the kiddos.” I nodded and snuggled back down in bed. 

A few days later I was feeling better. I was thankful Jensen was home and was able to take care of the kids while I recovered. I jumped in the shower and went downstairs to find four very excited children and an even more excited adult. 

“What are you guys so excited for?” “Mommy, Daddy Jensen is going to take us to the Austin Trail of Lights tonight.” “Oh that sounds like so much fun, do y’all have room for one more?” I chuckled. 

Jensen stepped forward and put his arms around me, turning to the kids and said, “I don’t know. What do you guys think? Do you think we should let Mom come along?” The kids looked at each other like they were considering the question. I feigned hurt and laughed. “Yes! We want mommy to go with us.” 

“Whew, I was a little worried.” I said. Jensen pulled me close, laughing as he kissed me. “Eww, stop it.” The kids said. Jensen and I laughed. 

As night started to settle over the Austin sky, Jensen, the kids and I got ready to head out to see the lights. I had never taken Jazzy, and I hadn’t been since before she was born. The hum of excitement filled the car as Jensen drove with his hand in mine. 

I glanced over my shoulder and looked at the kids’ faces as we got closer to the trail. I loved seeing Christmas through their eyes. It always reminded me of what the season was truly about, magic, love and service to others.

Jensen helped me get the kids out and we walked to the gate. We held the kids’ hands in between us. As we approached the gate, Jensen pulled out his phone and showed the lady at the front the tickets. She smiled, looked over at us and nodded. “Have a great time, Mr. Ackles. You and your family. Merry Christmas.” Jensen tipped his head at her, “Thank you, Merry Christmas to you too.” 

The six of us started to walk the trail. Jazzy was completely blown away. Her and the other three were holding hands, giggling and walking just in front of Jensen and I. I took out my phone and started taking pictures of the kids, and a few of Jensen and I. 

We were halfway through the trail when something caught the eye of the kids. It was a beautiful display of a gingerbread house with gingerbread men at the front “Mommy look!” The kids called as I turned towards them. 

“Can we take a picture, mommy? Please?” I nodded and walked up with them to the house. I was snapping pictures of them doing different poses. I was laughing at their antics and turned to get Jensen’s attention. 

When I turned I gasped. Jensen was behind me, down on one knee and a small velvet box in his hand. I turned and looked at the kids who were now holding signs that read, “Mommy, will you marry Daddy?” 

I turned back towards Jensen, completely speechless. I noticed people standing around taking videos and pictures. “Well, darlin’, what do you say? Will you marry me?” Tears fell fast from my eyes, “Yes! Yes, Jensen, I’ll marry you!” 

I leaped in his arms, kissing him and hugging him. He slid the ring on my finger, and when we looked at the kids, JJ had flipped her sign over and it read, “FINALLY!” Jensen and I laughed. 

The group of people who had gathered around us were clapping and offering congratulations. I finally took a moment to look at my ring and it was breathtaking. There was a large solitary stone in the middle, and the four colored stones around it. Each stone represented the kids’ birthstones. 

“Jensen, this is so beautiful.” “I’m glad you like it. I hope you don’t mind. I added the kids to it too.” “No Jensen, I don’t mind at all. It’s perfect.” 

When we finished the trail Jensen pulled out his phone to message Jared, Nichole and his family to let them know. He asked, finally. “So I had already told them I was going to ask you, I figured there would be people there and I didn’t want our families to find out through social media.” “That’s smart. I’m sure it’s all over social media now.” “Yeah it is.” He chuckled as he showed me his phone. 

After we got home the kids were so excited and talked non stop about Jensen and I getting married. I noticed Jazzy was a little quiet, so I pulled her to the side with Jensen to talk to her. 

“Hey Jazzy girl, are you okay? You seem sad.” “No, I’m just thinking. I can’t wait for you and daddy Jensen to get married. Are you going to be an Ackles, mommy?” “Yes baby, when I get married to Jensen my last name will change to Ackles.” “Oh, will mine?” I looked at Jensen and he looked at me, “No baby. Your last name will stay the same. Your name changes when you get married or if you get adopted.”

I saw the tears form in her eyes. “So I won’t be part of the family?” Her voice is soft and sad. Jensen pulled her into his lap, “Oh baby girl you are part of the family. Your last name doesn’t change that.” She nodded. “Daddy Jensen, what is adopted?” 

“Well, for some people it means they get a new mommy and daddy, but for you that means I would go to a judge and ask them if I can be your daddy for real. If they say yes, then you get to change your last name to Ackles.” “Daddy I want to be your baby girl for real.” 

Jensen pulled her into a tight hug and looked up at me. “Sweetie, you are my baby girl, for real and forever.” “But I’m not an Ackles.” Jensen’s heart broke a little, “Do you want to be?” He asked her. “Yes! Then I can be your real baby.” “Well if it’s something you really want, we can see about it.” 

“Yay! I get to be your baby for real.” She hugged Jensen’s neck tightly and jumped down. “Bye mommy, bye daddy.” She waved as she went out of the room.

Jensen let out a deep breath. I touched his arm, “Jens, are you okay?” “Yes, I just want her to know she’s loved and I adore her.” “She knows, Jensen. She really does.” “What do you think about me possibly adopting her?” “Honestly that would be amazing, but it’s up to you.” “Darlin’ I’d love to, but it’s not just my decision. Do you think you could arrange a meeting for me and Josh’s parents?” 

“Yes I can call them, but why do you want to speak to them?” “I think it’s only right to ask their permission for me to adopt their granddaughter, since Josh isn’t around for me to ask.” I hugged Jensen, “That sounds perfect.” I kissed him. 

The next morning I called Josh’s mom and asked if Jensen and I could come over. She was more than willing to have Jensen Ackles in her house, she was a fan. 

When we arrived, she giggled when she answered the door and I introduced them. “Jensen, these are Josh’s parents, Margaret and Bill Johnson.” They shook hands and we were invited in. 

“So, Jensen, Y/N told us you wanted to speak to us. Oh and congratulations on the engagement. We are so happy for you two.” Josh’s mom said.

“Yes ma’am, and thank you. I love her and Jazzy very much. So I wanted to speak to you two about Jazmyne. She’s an amazing little girl and I love her like she’s my own. She fits perfectly in our family. When I marry Y/N, she will officially/legally be an Ackles, Jazzy will not. So, I’ve come to you both today to ask your permission to officially adopt her. You have my word she will always be your granddaughter, you two are always welcome in our home, and she will know what an amazing father Josh was. She will just be an Ackles, legally.”

Margaret was wiping tears away, and Bill was hard to read. Then he spoke, “Son, she’s our only granddaughter. Our only connection on this Earth to Joshua. If we give you our blessing, I need your word that she will still be in our lives. We wouldn’t survive losing her too.” 

“Yes, sir. I understand completely. You have my word, I wouldn’t dream of taking her away from you two. She needs you two in her life. You two are her direct connection to Josh, and that is something that can’t ever be replaced. I assure you, I’m not trying to replace anyone in her life. I’m just trying to help her feel like she belongs with all of us too.” 

“Jensen, honey, do you mind giving myself and Bill a few days to think about it?” “Oh absolutely, please take all the time you need. Here’s my number if you two have any more questions or any concerns come up.” Margaret took Jensen’s number and nodded. “Thank you, Jensen. We really do appreciate you coming and asking us. That shows amazing character.” 

Jensen and I stood to leave, Bill pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear, “You make him take care of you and that little girl. I’m glad you found him. He seems like good people.” I smiled and nodded, “He is, and he loves Jazzy so much.” 

Margaret hugged me after she hugged Jensen. Bill extended his hand to Jensen and shook his hand, “Jensen, son, thank you again. We will be in touch soon.” Jensen nodded and the two of us walked out to the car hand in hand.

Climbing in the car, there was a silence that fell between us. “I think that went well, Jensen. I really do.” Jensen nodded, “Yeah. I just hope they say yes. I don’t want Jazzy to feel like we don’t want her to be part of the family.” “I think they will, they just need to talk about it. They just want to make sure you are true to your word. I know you are, but they are a little worried.” “I get it completely. I would be too. I just wish there was a way I could convince them.” 

I took his hand in mine, “I know baby, just be patient.” He nodded and we drove home. When we got home Jensen went ahead and contacted his attorney to find out what he’d need to adopt Jazzy. “No, I’m not ready to move forward yet. I just wanted to know what the process would be. Yeah, okay. Thanks buddy. Yeah, I’ll call you back when I’m ready.” 

“So it seems like it's a pretty easy process. Since Josh is gone I don’t have to wait the standard length of time when two parents are involved. I just need your permission as her surviving parent.” “Well you know you have it, Jensen.” “I know, baby. I know.” 

A few days later Jensen’s phone rang. He showed me the caller ID. It was Josh’s parents. We walked into our bedroom to take the phone call. “Hello?” Jensen answered. “Hello, Jensen, this is Bill and Margaret Johnson. How are you today?” “Oh hello, Mr and Mrs Johnson, I’m doing great, how are you two?” “Please call us Bill and Margaret, and we are great. So I’m gonna get right to it. We talked about what you asked. We definitely have some reservations about it.” 

Jensen’s face fell slightly. I touched his hand. “I understand, sir.” Jensen said softly.

“However, we talked and we know how much you love our girls. We’re going to trust your word, son. You keep us in her life and take care of her, and we are more than happy to give you our blessing.” 

Jensen sat stunned. I squeezed his hand. “Son, are you still there?” Bill asked into the phone. “Oh yes, sir. I’m sorry. Thank you both so much. You have no idea what this means to me, to Jazzy.” “I think we do, Jensen. You take care of our girls.” “I promise I will. Y/N and I would also like to invite you two to celebrate Christmas with us and the kids. You’re family now, and that means you come for holidays, birthdays and other important things. You’re also going to have three more grandchildren by proxy.” Jensen laughed. Bill and Margaret chuckled, “Well I think we can handle that, Jensen. Are you sure we won’t be intruding on Christmas?” “Absolutely not, please come.” “Sure, we will be there.”

“Great! I’ll send you all the details when we get them finalized, and Bill, Margaret, thank you both again.” “You’re welcome, Jensen.”

Jensen hung up and pulled me into his arms, spinning me around. “I need to call my lawyer. I want to get this done ASAP.” I smiled at him, he was so excited and he was making me fall more in love with him. 

He came back into the room with a smile on his face. “Our court date is next week.” “Wow! That was fast, Jensen. How did you pull that off?” “Well I went to high school with the clerk of court, she pushed us on to the calendar. We have to go by the lawyer’s office to fill out the paperwork so he can file it. We can stop by tomorrow.” 

I nodded, “That sounds amazing, now we have to tell Jazzy.” Jensen nodded and walked downstairs to where the kids were playing. 

“Jazzy, can you come here please?” Jensen asked as he walked into the room. Jazzy came over and sat down beside us. “So Jazzy, mommy and I went to talk to Grandma and Grandpa Johnson about me adopting you. I told them how much I loved you and mommy and I asked them if they would be okay with me adopting you so you can be an Ackles. They told me they were okay with it.” 

“So daddy is going to adopt me?” Jazzy asked with wide eyes. “Yes baby girl, if you want me to.” She leaped into his lap, “Yes! I get a daddy again, and a brother and sisters.” He kissed her head and she jumped down.

I chuckled, “Well, I guess that was a yes.” “Yeah I think so too.” Jensen smiled, leaned over and kissed me.

*Time Jump Day of Court*

The kids, Jensen and I walked hand in hand into the courtroom. Josh’s parents, Jared and Gen, Nichole, and Jensen’s parents were all there. I was shaking and I was so nervous. Jensen held my hand, kissing the back of it, trying to steady my nerves. 

When the judge called our case, Jensen’s attorney spoke first. Then the judge, “Is the child present in the courtroom today?” “Yes, sir, she is.” “Can she step forward?”

I took Jazzy’s hand and stood beside her in front of the judge. “Jazmyne, I’m Judge Matthews, do you understand why you’re here today? She looked at me and I encouraged her to speak.

“Yes sir. I want Daddy Jensen to be my daddy for real and you get to say if we can or not.” “That’s right. So I just have a few questions for you, if that’s okay?” Jazzy shook her head, “Yes, that’s okay.” 

The judge smiled at her, “Okay young lady. Why do you want Jensen to be your daddy?” Jazzy stood there for a minute thinking about what to say, then when she opened her mouth, the whole courtroom fell silent. “I want Jensen to be my daddy because he makes my booboos better. He gives the best, biggest hugs. When mommy got hurt he kept me safe and when I was sad he made me better. He loves me and mommy too. He’s my daddy, like my Daddy Josh.” 

The judge nodded at her and smiled. “So you want Jensen to adopt you and you become an Ackles?” “Yes!” She squealed in delight.

The judge talked to me and Jensen for a few minutes. He asked if there was anyone present who wanted to make a statement on the adoption and Bill raised his hand, my breath hitched and a lump formed in my throat.

“Your honor, my name is William Johnson. Jazmyne is my granddaughter. Her father was my son Joshua. I came here today in support of this adoption. It saddens me that my son was never able to be the father that Jazmyne deserves, but I know with all my heart he sent Jensen to her and Y/N. This man loves this child like she was his own, so this adoption is just a formality at this point. I implore you to allow Mr. Ackles to adopt our little Jazzy.” 

The judge nodded, thanked everyone and said there would be a brief recess so he could come to a decision. 

About 30 minutes later we were being called back into the courtroom. When the judge was seated he asked for Jazzy, myself, Jensen and the other kids to step forward. 

“So making a decision like this isn’t one I take lightly. I look at all the evidence, talk to everyone I need to and above all I take into consideration how the child feels about it. Jazmyne, you, your mom and Jensen step forward slightly, please.”

The three of us moved forward. 

“After carefully weighing all the evidence I’ve come to the decision that from this day forward, Jazmyne Marie Johnson, will now be legally known as Jazmyne Marie Ackles. This is my order, entered this 13th day of December. Congratulations, Jazmyne. You are now an Ackles. 

The courtroom erupted in applause and Jazzy leaped in Jesen’s arms. Her arms pulled tightly behind his neck, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek and said, “You’re my daddy now, please don’t leave me.” He kissed her softly on the head, “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart, and neither are you, Jazmyne Ackles.” 

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[cathodic-clairvoyant]

Oh hi there transfem discussing her experience in the trans community i just had a quick question about your post

What does tme mean?

Oh okay i see i understand, thank you.

What does transmisogyny mean?

Ah I see, I get it.

What's a trans woman?

Oof scary. One last question.

What's a woman?

Thank you for being my own personal google (not like you had anything better to do right?) and derailing the point of your post for my own personal education. I will now add nothing of value to this post in return. Bye bye!

[thatonebirdwrites]

I still plan to finish my TLOK: Shared Moments series -- especially Book 3.5 and 4 at least, but I simply cannot do the pace I did last year. I can't. My health is too poor and my heart too broken. So let's talk about it.

For this post in particular, I want to discuss how parts of the Korrasami fandom broke my heart.

I also will talk about how Supercorp fandom is helping me heal. I want to be clear here. This post is not about pitting these fandoms against each other. Both have their flaws, their beauty, their awesome people, and their mean people. I love them both. This is simply my tale of how one broke my heart and how the other helps me heal that.

I also preface that there are wonderfully beautiful people I've met in the Korrasami fandom, some who have become friends over the span of the last year and a half. The kindness and care from @snazzy-korra and the Korrasami friend I talk to on Discord has been life-saving in different ways. I'm forever grateful and highly appreciative of these people's kindness and support and for the kind readers who left kind comments.

I also wish to be clear that I have always been honest in my end-notes about the fact that I have a disability, that my health might slow me down, or I may share an anecdote about my life (my disability impacts my life heavily, but it also is not all I am) to explain why I wrote a scene the way I did. Folks seemed to appreciate learning about the inner workings of the writer's mind and the research I've done. So it's why I tend to have detailed end-notes.

So when readers, who acknowledged these end-notes and commented about my bravery at being a disabled writer, turn around and viciously attack me and pull out every single ableist argument about how the character, who became disabled in my story, is now less than?

That is fucking personal.

That is them directly telling me that they don't see disabled people like myself as their equal in dignity or respect. They don't even respect me as a person worthy of being treated with kindness. Instead, they remind me yet again of how they view disabled people as less than.

Where they wanted the disability written out of the story. They wanted erasure, and thus it felt like a stab in my heart.

Because in the end, such arguments are rooted in a fear of this simple truth:

Anyone can become disabled at any time.

Some people fear that truth. Likely because they would have to face the fact that the horrid ways they treat us disabled people could be how they end up treated if they become disabled.

So instead of fixing society and the systems harming us disabled folks, and creating instead accessible and equitable and kinder systems that help all people thrive -- they instead demand erasure. Demand that people like me cease to exist in their space. That our stories not be visible.

It went beyond a fight in comments to direct messages/asks and at least one tumblr blog directly harassing me (referencing my writing as the reason). It felt like my few places where I felt somewhat safe to share my writing had been broken into and trashed.

It's sad and heartbreaking in so many ways, because these people are refusing to see the absolutely beauty and wonder that is disabled people and our creativity.

[Yes, I know the tools that can help protect me like comment moderation, but again, the point of this post isn't about fixing my behaviors.

Because my behaviors weren't the problem. It's about a very real problem in fandoms, where AUs that involve a beloved character becoming disabled turn into an avenue to cause harm to that author. (Instead, of just not commenting and not reading it.)

If this isn't pointed out or ever talked about, then how do we learn and grow and find ways to repair the fandom to be kinder? To call out hurtful behaviors and support those harmed by it? Why should we let folks suffer in silence, when we can talk about it and better support one another? To build better habits and encourage others to build those kinder habits with us?]

Becoming disabled is not a bad thing. It doesn't have to be. We are still beautiful, wonderfully creative, and awesome people who deserve the same love, respect, care, and dignity as any non-disabled person.

Ignoring or running from the pain doesn't make it go away, as I did that and instead it ended up tainting what had been a deep love.

Acknowledging the pain and/or grief and choosing to heal is what alleviates it. The Korrasami fandom introduced me to fanfiction. I'd never written fanfiction in my life before I decided to write How Was Those Three Years to dig into how those years were like for Asami.

I'd never read so much fanfiction before either. I didn't realize the wealth of creativity and wonder that is hidden in the corridors of AO3. It was a beautiful sight to behold. I discovered this truth through Korrasami.

Writing Korrasami helped me rekindle my writing again. Even with my poor health, even when I struggle to get out of bed, even as I lost my ability to do things I used to love to do, fandom helped me re-establish my writing habits. I was writing again. The one thing I love to do the most.

At least my health hadn't taken away my writing and art. Isn't that a beautiful thing to discover? I found a way to grieve what I lost but still rejoice in what I can still do. But at the same time, I've never been more hurt and shattered by a fandom than I have daring to write an alternate universe story, where I learned that the limit of people's care ends at the moment they perceive your disability.

Where you cease to be a person in their eyes.

Where you become less than.

Thus, I truly struggled on how to move forward for months, where writing became harder and harder to do.

I didn't want to lose the joy I had found, but I didn't know how to safely heal either. And I like sharing my stories. The act of sharing them was part of how I redicovered my joy of writing again.

It was here on tumblr, where I found a niche that helped me heal.

It all started with a continuation to one of @fazedlight's ficlets, which randomly appeared on my 'for you' page.

I hadn't even finished Supergirl yet at that point, but the AU in that ficlet, where Kara decides to trust Lena and reveals she's an alien due to the alien detector? How utterly fascinating way to rewrite that scene.

I'm not even sure why I felt the need to write that continuation, but it's like my fingers had a mind of their own. I felt so inspired, and after a few months of being trapped in that well of feeling utterly broken, it was like glimpsing sunlight for the first time in months.

And I found I couldn't stop. I started to write other little ficlets based on GIFs about Supercorp. I started reading fanfiction about Supercorp. I realized Lena Luthor is really just a morally grey Asami Sato, and Kara Zor-El Danvers is basically Avatar Korra. So of course it was easy to write them. I already had practice with Korrasami.

I then went and watched the last three seasons to finally finish Supergirl, and was horrified by just how bad the writing was in 5 and 6, that now I wanted to write my own fix-it fic.

But I was scared to do it. I'd already had my heart broken by Korrasami. I already had a big project there I need to finish for my own sake, because it's so, so important to my own heart.

But at the same time, should I dare to share my stories again? Put myself out there in a different fandom?

Because I can't stress enough how I had seriously considered deleting my AO3 account due to how hurt I was over Korrasami (my two Korrasami buddies kept me from doing that, and they might not ever realize their influence there. I'd downloaded all the fics I'd written and gave myself a due date to decide.)

I was scared to share my stories, and I needed support to decide if I could do it again. If I dared to do it.

Then I discovered thanks to @luthordamnvers and @snowydragonscave a server for Supercorp shippers, and Holy shit.

It was okay to be disabled there.

People from all sorts of walks of life were there. They were supportive (and such enablers, my heavens).

I wasn't seen as less than.

People treated me like a human being.

It gave me courage to start posting the stories I'd written about Supercorp to AO3, and then holy crap.

The comments from Supercorp readers welcomed me as a new writer. They were encouraging. (Sure, there was mean comments here and there, but they weren't so horrifically personal in their attacks like the few hurtful Korrasami readers.)

I wept over those comments. Those people may never know how healing it was to read kind and encouraging comments. These people welcomed me, a stray writer into their shelter, and gently and tenderly offered support, advice, and constructive criticism in ways that uplifted the author.

Sure, it's possible I'll get viciously attacked for who I am again in the Supercorp fandom, but right now, most folks I talk with in the Supercorp fandom have been kind. Mean comments haven't been so acutely personal in their attacks, and it's a reprieve that allows space to heal.

My first love - Korrasami - will always be my first love in terms of ships. This is a truth. Supercorp is second in line, but I feel, right now, it's a little safer for my heart to write Supercorp.

I do promise to finish Shared Moments, but it will take longer simply because I'm still healing.

Parts of the Korrasami fandom broke my heart, but a good portion of the Supercorp fandom is mending it back together.

That's a beautiful thing too.

The stories I write are imperfect. I know I mess up a lot. But I do hope that people walk away from my stories having learned something. Or at the very least walk away with some semblance of hope.

Because in the end, in a world that seems hellbent on reminding marginalized people of how our lives are disposable, choosing hope becomes a radical act in liberation.

Our stories deserve to be told. Deserve to be cherished.

So in conclusion, never underestimate your kindness toward others. You may touch them in ways you may never fully know.

Thank you for all my readers, who have been supportive and kind. You're helping a broken writer heal. I will forever appreciate and treasure all of you.

Thanks for reading.