#Teen Counselling Calgary
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Because it’s clear that being “the last public space” isn’t a privilege. It’s a sign that something has gone terribly wrong.
At the time, countless articles asked if new technology meant “the death of the public library.” Instead, the institution completely transformed itself. Libraries carved out a new role providing online access to those who needed it. They abandoned the big central desk, stopped shushing patrons, and pushed employees out onto the floor to do programming. Today, you’ll find a semester’s load of classes, events, and seminars at your local library: on digital photography, estate planning, quilting, audio recording, taxes for seniors, gaming for teens, and countless “circle times” in which introverts who probably chose the profession because of their passion for Victorian literature are forced to perform “The Bear Went over the Mountain” to rooms full of rioting toddlers.
In the midst of this transformation, new demands began to emerge. Libraries have always been a welcoming space for the entire community. Alexander Calhoun, Calgary’s first librarian, used the space for adult education programs and welcomed “transients” and the unemployed into the building during the Depression. But the past forty years of urban life have seen those demands grow exponentially. In the late 1970s, “homelessness” as we know it today didn’t really exist; the issue only emerged as a serious social problem in the 1980s. Since then, as governments have abandoned building social housing and rents have skyrocketed, homelessness in Canada has transformed into a snowballing human rights issue. Meanwhile, the opioid crisis has devastated communities, killing more than 34,000 Canadians between 2016 and 2022, according to the Public Health Agency of Canada. And the country’s mental health care system, always an underfunded patchwork of services, is today completely unequipped to deal with demand. According to the Canadian Institute for Health Information, from 2020 to 2021, Canadians waited a median of twenty-two days for their first counselling session. As other communal support networks have suffered cutbacks and disintegrated, the library has found itself as one of the only places left with an open door.
When people tell the story of this transformation, from book repository to social services hub, it’s usually as an uncomplicated triumph. A recent “love letter” to libraries in the New York Times has a typical capsule history: “As local safety nets shriveled, the library roof magically expanded from umbrella to tarp to circus tent to airplane hangar. The modern library keeps its citizens warm, safe, healthy, entertained, educated, hydrated and, above all, connected.” That story, while heartwarming, obscures the reality of what has happened. No institution “magically” takes on the role of the entire welfare state, especially none as underfunded as the public library. If the library has managed to expand its protective umbrella, it has done so after a series of difficult decisions. And that expansion has come with costs.
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About Master's Counselling Calgary | Master's Counselling Calgary
Eagle Ridge, one of Calgary's most sought-after neighborhoods, is known for its stunning homes, lush surroundings, and peaceful ambiance. Beyond its picturesque setting, counselling Calgary Eagle Ridge offers access to high-quality counseling services that cater to the mental health needs of its residents. Whether you're facing stress, anxiety, relationship challenges, or seeking personal growth, the counseling services in Eagle Ridge provide expert, personalized care to help you thrive. Our blog explores the benefits of counseling in Eagle Ridge, the types of therapy available, and tips for finding the right counselor to support your mental health journey.
The Importance of Mental Health in Eagle Ridge
In a community as exclusive and serene as counselling Calgary Eagle Ridge, maintaining mental health is essential for living a balanced and fulfilling life. Professional counseling offers a safe and supportive environment to address emotional and psychological challenges, allowing residents to navigate life's complexities with greater ease. Our blog discusses the significance of mental health care in Eagle Ridge and how local counseling services can provide the necessary support for personal growth and well-being.
A Range of Counseling Services
Eagle Ridge offers a variety of counseling services designed to meet the diverse needs of its residents. Whether you're seeking individual therapy, couples counseling, family therapy, or specialized support for children and teens, Eagle Ridge has a range of therapeutic options available. Our blog delves into the different types of counseling services in Eagle Ridge, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), solution-focused therapy, and mindfulness-based approaches. We explore how each type of therapy can help address specific mental health concerns and enhance overall well-being.
Finding the Right Counselor in Eagle Ridge
Choosing the right counselor is a crucial step in your mental health journey. It's important to find a professional who specializes in the issues you're facing and with whom you feel comfortable and understood. Our blog offers practical advice on how to select the right counselor in counselling Calgary Eagle Ridge, including tips on assessing their qualifications, experience, and therapeutic approach. We also discuss the importance of the initial consultation and what to expect during your first session.
Benefits of Local Counseling Services
Opting for counseling services within your local community, such as Eagle Ridge, offers several advantages. Local counselors are familiar with the unique dynamics of the neighborhood, providing more personalized and contextually relevant support. Our blog highlights the benefits of choosing local counseling services, emphasizing the convenience, accessibility, and community connection that can make a significant difference in your therapeutic experience.
Counseling for Life's Transitions
Life's transitions—whether related to career changes, family dynamics, or aging—often bring about stress and uncertainty. Counseling in Eagle Ridge is designed to help individuals navigate these changes with greater confidence and resilience. Our blog explores how local counseling services can support you through various life stages, offering guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to explore your thoughts and emotions.
Stories of Healing and Growth
Hearing about others' experiences with counseling can be both inspiring and reassuring. Our blog features real-life success stories from Eagle Ridge residents who have benefited from local counseling services. These stories highlight the transformative power of therapy, providing hope and encouragement for those considering seeking help to overcome challenges and achieve personal growth.
Conclusion
Counseling in Calgary's counselling Calgary Eagle Ridge neighborhood offers a valuable resource for residents looking to enhance their mental health and well-being. With a variety of therapeutic options and the benefits of a supportive, close-knit community, Eagle Ridge is an ideal place to begin or continue your mental health journey. Explore our blog for more insights, resources, and inspiration on how counseling in Eagle Ridge can help you lead a healthier, more balanced life.
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Flourish Psychological Services: Nurturing Mental Wellness
In today's fast-paced and demanding world, our mental health often takes a back seat amidst the chaos of daily life. However, prioritizing our psychological well-being is essential for leading fulfilling and productive lives. Flourish Psychological Services, based in Calgary, stands out as a beacon of support and guidance, dedicated to enhancing the mental health of individuals, couples, and families through evidence-based therapies and compassionate care.
Commitment to Quality
At Flourish Psychological Services, the cornerstone of our approach lies in our unwavering commitment to quality care. We understand the unique challenges faced by our clients, and thus, we endeavor to provide the highest standard of therapy in Calgary. Our team comprises experienced psychologists and counselors who are adept in utilizing current, evidence-based methods tailored to individual needs.
Empowering Transformation
Psychotherapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution; rather, it is a collaborative journey towards self-discovery and growth. We believe in empowering our clients to gain self-understanding and adopt new perspectives, attitudes, and coping mechanisms. By fostering a supportive environment, we encourage individuals to navigate life's challenges and cultivate resilience.
A Healing Process
It's crucial to acknowledge that therapy is a healing process that demands active participation and commitment from both the client and therapist. We do not promise quick fixes or magic solutions but instead guide our clients through a transformative process aimed at sustainable change and emotional well-being.
Services Offered
Flourish Psychological Services provides comprehensive therapy across various domains:
1. Individual Counseling
Our individual counseling services cater to a spectrum of mental health concerns, including anxiety, depression, grief and loss, self-esteem issues, self-care practices, loneliness, anger management, and other psychological challenges. Through personalized sessions, we aim to help individuals regain a sense of balance and emotional stability.
2. Couples Therapy
Relationships are complex and require nurturing. Our couples therapy focuses on enhancing communication, managing conflicts effectively, navigating pre-marital challenges, preventing divorce, healing from infidelity, and supporting blended families. We employ research-based techniques to strengthen bonds and foster healthier partnerships.
3. Children & Teens Therapy
Adolescence can be a tumultuous phase marked by various emotional and behavioral issues. Our specialized therapy for children and teens addresses concerns such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, school avoidance, self-harm, bullying, family conflicts, peer relationships, and identity exploration. Additionally, we offer parent coaching to assist families in understanding and supporting their children's developmental needs.
Collaborative Approach
At Flourish Psychological Services, collaboration is at the heart of our practice. We prioritize building a strong therapeutic alliance with our clients, fostering trust, empathy, and mutual respect. Our therapists work closely with individuals, couples, and families to identify goals, explore underlying issues, and develop tailored treatment plans that resonate with each client's unique circumstances.
Life-Altering Results
The journey towards mental wellness is transformative, and even small changes in thought patterns and behaviors can yield life-altering results. Whether it's overcoming anxiety, improving relationship dynamics, or enhancing self-esteem, Flourish Psychological Services is dedicated to facilitating personal growth and resilience.
Conclusion
Investing in mental health is an investment in overall well-being and quality of life. Flourish Psychological Services stands as a steadfast ally in this endeavor, offering professional therapy services that prioritize evidence-based practices and compassionate care. If you or a loved one is seeking support to navigate life's challenges and foster emotional well-being, we invite you to embark on a journey of healing and growth with Flourish Psychological Services. Together, let's nurture mental wellness and flourish in life.
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Child Psychologist Synergy provides psychological counseling services to children and adolescents at our Cochrane and Calgary, Alberta clinics. Contact us today at 403-981-1999 for a free consultation.
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Child Counseling - The Need in Modern Times
The majority of people think that mental illness is just a problem that happens to adult. In the modern world it is difficult to balance the demands of a healthy home life with a working life gets more difficult, leading to people suffering from depression and anxiety. Yes, adults are more likely to suffer from mental health issues, however kids' mental wellbeing is equally importance.
While the majority of adults combat anxiety and stress but we tend to ignore the mental well-being that our kids have. We assume that children are the most peaceful moment of our lives. It is highly likely that children will have mental health issues or illnesses. The life of a student is becoming more increasingly complicated every day. Childhood should be a joyous moment in the life of a child. The struggle with emotional and mental illness can hinder this time of joy. It may also impact and create more problems later in life.
Children may be affected by the same level of depression and stress when they reach adulthood, however, the signs and symptoms could differ from the adults. In other words when they are not silent, a child with depression might experience unanswerable outbursts and behavioral issues.
There are a myriad of factors that can cause anxiety and psychological issues among children. This could include issues such as the experience of meeting new people or dealing with separation of parents loss, grief or abuse, poverty issues at school and difficulties with their peers. But, certain disorders could be hereditary and due to genetic causes too.
Child Counselling Services, also known as Youth Counseling is a form of counseling that concentrates on children who suffer from problems with their mental health or behaviour. The need for guidance is to prepare children to achieve maximum success and a proper adjustment to the diverse situations of life. Child counselors can assist children become more emotionally and psychologically stable. This can assist them in becoming better and more content adults.
Counselors in the present work with children by using various types of therapy, including play therapy, individual counseling or group therapy as well as Art or craft therapy. Through these kinds of activities, kids tend to open up about many of their feelings and thoughts and counselors can draw on their concerns too. The majority of children today have a good understanding of counseling services offered by their schools, but they are also conditioned to believe that going to a counselor because they do not want to fall into the category that they are "crazy". As parents, we must help them realize that there is a difference in being insane and what is actually happening. This is only possible when we recognize that counseling is a means by which they can improve themselves and live a healthy life.
Children have a myriad of problems in school, from body shaming and bullying, and even pressure of peers. Exams are designed to help students understand how to improve in their subject. The current situation can cause students to be stressed and depression as a result of poor scores.
Child counselors are employed by the children and also with children. The environment in the counseling session is more welcoming and relaxed than an environment where they adjust their fears of speaking. Counseling allows children to express themselves more effectively and feel secure speaking about their feelings and desires independent of their family and close friends. Like adults, kids today feel pressured to conform to social norms that are based on their age. Sometimes, the pressure to fit into the social group is increased and being unable to fit in can cause anxiety and self-doubt. This in turn impacts their self-image and character.
McAtee Family Psychology
Our team of clinical psychologists provide child counselling and child assessment services designed to move you and your family towards a more rich, full, and meaningful life. We have psychology offices in Calgary, Alberta in the communities of Kensington and Douglas Glen.
Working Phone No: 4039022234
Business Email Id [email protected] [email protected]
Social Media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mcateepsychology Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calgarypsychologist LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gavinmcatee
Location- 1982 Kensington Road,Calgary,Alberta,T2N3R5,Canada
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TW: transphobic parents & just generally bad parenting
Luke Patterson headcanons:
· born to Mitch and Emily Patterson in Calgary, Alberta in 1978 (hence his general dislike of country music because Stampede was always so overwhelming, and he never got to go to BVJ because he was just itty-bitty; not to mention Emily tended to listen to the super twangy type of country music).
· They put Luke in French immersion, which does not help with his general issues with school (I feel like Luke would be very similar to my little brother who is super smart but struggled all through school, especially since my parents forced him into French immersion).
· Mitch Patterson has a PhD in something techy, and Emily has a master’s degree in Art History.
· Luke starts piano lessons at 4 years old, which quickly becomes viola lessons when he can’t sit still at the piano.
· He is also in all of the winter sports (skiing, skating, but not hockey because “It’s not ladylike”).
· His parents buy Luke a guitar for his 13th birthday and come to regret it since he immediately drops the viola to self-teach himself rock music.
· Mitch Patterson gets a job offer to teach at the California Institute of Technology (in Pasadena) a little before Luke’s 7th birthday. The Pattersons move to Los Angeles about a year later and officially become US citizens when Luke is 15.
· While the Pattersons consistently misgender Luke, and are generally not supportive of his gender identity (or his life goals and love of non-classical music), things escalate shortly after his 15th birthday when he announces he wants to start taking t and get top surgery.
· There’s an extremely tense few months at the Patterson household, before Luke finally runs away to the LA LGBT Center where they help him get emancipated and in all the support groups/counselling necessary for top surgery to be possible (they also help him get on t, obvi). He officially lives in a set of apartment buildings the Center owns and “rents”, i.e. for $0, to emancipated teens. Essentially, he still lives in the studio since he’s there basically all the time.
· Luke gets approved for top surgery around his 17th birthday, and has a glorious few months before the fated night at the Orpheum.
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When God's Plans are Way Better than Ours
When God’s Plans are Way Better than Ours
In 1986, we moved to Canada on a ministry mission. It was a 100% faith-venture for all of us, including my mom. We had no idea what the future would hold, but we knew Who held our future. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
I’ll limit the adventures of the next seven years to this one…
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#1988 Calgary Winter Olympics#all-in#basketball#blog#Canada#coach bias#Coca Cola World Chorus#David Foster#future#hope#Jeremiah 29:11#legal counsel#Miss Canada#Miss Teen Winnipeg#Miss Winnipeg Pageant#pageant#prejudice#step of faith
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'It's torture': Is a mysterious marijuana-related illness underdiagnosed in Canada?
Regina Denney's 17-year-old son Brian called her in a panic; he couldn't stop throwing up.
It was April 7, 2018, and the Indianapolis teen asked her to take him to the emergency room — but doctors there couldn't figure out what was wrong.
He was critically thirsty and constantly vomiting.
"As we're sitting there talking, another doctor happens to walk by our room and she pokes her head in and she says, 'Do you smoke marijuana?'" Denney said.
"And he said yes. And she said, 'Does it get better with hot showers or hot baths?' And he said yes."
Brian Smith Jr. was told he had a disease, a rare condition called cannabinoid hyperemesis disease (CHS).
When his lab results came back, his mother said the teen's organs were shutting down and his liver wasn't functioning properly.
"It was just crazy," Denney said. "They were able to rehydrate him. And [the results] improved. So they released him the next day, but didn't give us any information about what CHS was, what causes it, what to look for."
He was a heavy marijuana smoker and his mother convinced him to stop, at least until they could see a gastroenterologist 45 days later.
Denney said he still had marks leading up to that appointment and thought if they were related to his marijuana use, he would have been marked free. So he started smoking again.
What they didn't know was CHS can present indications weeks or months after stopping marijuana use.
By October, Denney said her son had lost more than 40 pounds.
"You could see his bones. He looked sick," she said. "It's torture."
On the morning of Oct. 24, 2018, she woke up at 5 a.m. to find her son sitting on the couch in the family's home, grabbing his stomach.
He promised to his mother he was fine and told her to return to bed.
"So I went back to bed, got up later on in the morning, and he had said he was nauseated and then he started vomiting. I held the bucket for him, I got a washcloth, I fixed his pillows, I brought him drinks," she said.
"At one point Brian walked out of the room to go the bathroom and he said 'Mom, I can't do this anymore. I'm going to quit smoking.' and he laid back down and he grabbed his back."
Denney suspected organ damage, so she called 911.
"They said they were on their way. So I came back in and he looked at me and he said, 'Mom, I can't breathe.'" she said. "And I rolled him over and he had quit breathing."
Denney and a neighbour performed CPR until paramedics arrived, and they tried to restore him for 30 minutes.
"I said, 'Please just try a little longer. He's 17, just please try a little longer.' They tried for 45 minutes, there was nothing they could do," she said.
"So at 6:43 a.m. on Oct. 24, I lost my 17-year-old son. I didn't know what caused it."
Little is known about the exact cause of the condition or why it affects some heavy marijuana users and not others.
Health Canada says it's usually found in daily marijuana users who have signs of critical nausea, intestinal pain and episodes of constant vomiting that can last for hours or days and are relieved by hot showers.
Typical anti-nausea medicines like Gravol have little effect, and treatment recommendations include rehydration, stopping marijuana use completely and affective counselling.
Haldol, a mental drug that is used to decrease excitement in the brain, can have a positive effect, as can capsaicin lotion, which is taken from chilli peppers and can copy the hot shower effect.
One hypothesis on the cause of CHS relates to cannabinoid receptors in the brain, which could probably become overloaded due to heavy marijuana use causing them to fail.
"Marijuana does have some effect on nausea and so we know it has an effect on those receptors in the brain," said Dr. Atul Kapur, an Ottawa-based emergency room doctor and co-chair of the Canadian Association of Emergency Doctors' (CAEP) public affairs organization.
"So we think that's where this is transpiring, but the exact way of why it's having this effect I'm not aware of."
Dr. Taylor Lougheed, Ottawa family practitioner who works in sports, emergency and cannabinoid medicine, said there appears to be a link to marijuana strains with high levels of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) but not cannabidiol (CBD).
"One of the hypotheses is that there could be an addition of THC in the body's fat," he said.
"So it's possible that during periods of stress, or during periods of relative non-eating, individually in the morning when someone's waking up, that they might feel nauseated because as we go through a period of noneating, our body starts to use some fat stores as a form of energy and so that could release the THC chemical."
Another approach is a common bug-killing chemical called neem oil, which could probably be used in the growing of marijuana.
"If you overdose with it, it can cause nausea and vomiting," said Dr. Ian Mitchell, an emergency surgeon and medicine-based helper professor at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver.
"But there's no sign that neem oil poisoning is related to having to take hot showers."
Reports in the Canadian Medical Association Journal and the Boston Globe this week thought whether CHS is underdiagnosed in Canada and the U.S., but a lack of data on the condition prevents a clear picture of how extensive it is.
Of the more determined 5.3 million Canadians who used marijuana this year, six per cent of those surveyed used it daily, according to the latest data from Statistics Canada.
Forty per cent of the 23,410 hospital stays for "harm caused by drug use" in 2017-18 were related to marijuana, according to the Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI), but special data for CHS is unavailable.
"It's a regular experience to be treating marijuana hyperemesis in our emergency department," said Dr. Eddy Lang, an ER surgeon and head of emergency medicine in Calgary.
"They come to us because they have continuous, nonstop vomiting going on for hours and hours. And that's very terrifying for patients."
Lang said of the 800 to 1,000 patients seen in Calgary emergency departments per day, it wouldn't surprise him if they were treating upwards of five to 10 cases of CHS.
"So it's small overall, it's under one per cent," he said. "But it's not irrelevant."
Kapur said ERs across the country saw an increase in the condition a few years ago, but it is much weaker than the harms from other drugs.
"People are recognizing this and it's remarkable. And we're glad that the word is getting out there," he said.
"But this is not our main problem, it's the pain-relieving drugs, it's the crystal meth, especially out west."
But for Denney, CHS is a very real threat.
"Yes, it's rare that death does transpire, but it happened and one person losing their life to this is too many," she said.
"And if there's some way that I can get this out there, and it saves another person, then Brian's memory continues to live on."
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Teen 'sexting' could not at all times spell bother
http://tinyurl.com/y2juoxc2 (Reuters Well being) – Whereas teen sexting is linked to elevated odds of sure sorts of dangerous conduct, a brand new evaluation of analysis thus far on the affect of sexually specific content material on adolescent well being additionally suggests there’s so much we nonetheless don’t know. What is understood is that sexting is a reality of life for a lot of teenagers at the moment. No less than one in 4 teenagers are receiving sexually specific texts and emails, and a minimum of one in seven are sending these sorts of “sexts,” researchers word in JAMA Pediatrics. What’s much less clear, nonetheless, is how a lot of this exercise is a standard and wholesome a part of rising up and the way a lot could also be dangerous. For the present research, researchers examined knowledge from 23 sexting research with greater than 41,000 contributors. Sexting on this evaluation included sending, receiving, requesting and forwarding sexually specific written content material, photos and movies utilizing textual content messages, electronic mail, apps or social media. In comparison with teenagers who didn’t do any sort of sexting, those that did had been greater than thrice as more likely to be sexually energetic, greater than 5 occasions as apt to have a number of intercourse companions and greater than twice as more likely to have unprotected intercourse. Teenagers who sext had been additionally greater than thrice as more likely to drink alcohol or use medicine. “Some youth could sext with the innocent intention of sexual exploration, however misery could happen when these intentions lead to dangerous or undesirable penalties, similar to having their sexually specific image shared with out their consent or not having their sext reciprocated,” mentioned Sheri Madigan of Alberta Kids’s Hospital Analysis Institute and the College of Calgary in Canada. “In different situations, teenagers could also be pressured into sexting, similar to being requested or coerced into sending a sext, which may trigger emotional misery,” Madigan, the research’s senior writer, mentioned by electronic mail. “Then there are those that use sexting as a method of soliciting consideration as a result of they’re feeling remoted, depressed or missing confidence.” Whether or not sexting is dangerous or not likely is dependent upon the state of affairs, Madigan added. Though sexting was related to partaking in dangerous behaviors, the research was not designed to have the ability to decide trigger and impact. One limitation of the evaluation is that it lumped all sorts of sexting collectively. This made it inconceivable to differentiate between intimate exchanges within the context of a dedicated relationship and undesirable interactions, or to see if easy textual content messages might need a special affect than photographs or movies. Relying on the character of the sext, nonetheless, teenagers may face prosecution within the U.S. underneath federal little one pornography legal guidelines and people of some states. Nonetheless, famous David Finkelhor of the Crimes towards Kids Analysis Middle on the College of New Hampshire in Durham, U.S. teenagers at the moment are ready longer to have intercourse for the primary time, having fewer companions and doing a greater job at utilizing contraception than they did a era in the past. “These are all issues that matter an ideal deal greater than sexting,” Finkelhor, who wasn’t concerned within the research, mentioned by electronic mail. Sexting also can run the gamut “from sending to receiving, from textual content messages to underwear photos to specific sexual acts, from personal exchanges between relationship {couples} to malicious efforts to humiliate somebody to adults attempting to recruit little one pornography,” Finkelhor mentioned. “We don’t know if all this stuff are equivalently worrisome.” Nonetheless, the research outcomes counsel that sexting must be a part of the intercourse speak mother and father have with their children. “Particular conversations about digital citizenship, that’s, methods to be secure, authorized and moral on-line, must be initiated across the age of 10, which occurs to be the age when most youngsters get their first cellphone,” Madigan suggested. “Conversations about digital well being and citizenship are by no means ‘one and finished’ sort conversations,” Madigan added. “As a result of ‘tweens and youths will likely be uncovered to completely different on-line dangers as they develop, conversations about on-line and offline sexual conduct must be repeated and tailor-made to the person wants of every ‘tween or teen in a household.” SOURCE: bit.ly/2Xthr1y JAMA Pediatrics, on-line June 17, 2019. Our Requirements:The Thomson Reuters Trust Principles. Source link
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Addiction Treatment Edmonton
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If you are looking for conselling or treatment of sex and porn addiction Calgary or Edmonton then LifeSTAR Alberta is the best place for you.
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Same-day access is available for youths in Edmonton, she said. The average wait time now for an adult bed is about 20 days. Hoffman said she hears Ryan’s concern, and said anyone who is ready to enter addictions treatment should …
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Tell Me About Your Parents. 09/22/17.
For the most part I’m in the mindset that I have a healthy relationship with my parents.
I think back to where I once was in my youth and I so admire the strides we’ve taken over the last five years.
I am currently beyond furious and approaching tears at work right now because I’m trying to be honest with them.
I knew as soon as I told them of my plans to leave early I was going to be grilled relentlessly. I told my mother I was planning on being home for thanksgiving weekend, to which her response was “Go West”. I told her again later the blank statement of “I need to come home mom”, to which I got a series of six text messages asking me what’s the hurry, her friends in Vancouver want to take me to this place and this place, she sent me links to the Hospitality program at Algonquin College, pushing me to go back and enroll in January, telling me that there’s a deal with OSAP and tuition fees are dirt cheap. All as a response to the statement I need to come home.
I’m livid.
I reached out to my dad to keep him in the loop, telling him I’d be home in two weeks. He bluntly told me that he already knew, that he and my mother had talked about it already, and closed off his monologue with “well so be it”.
Even my sister was on my case yesterday, telling me I would regret if I just came home right away.
I know I don’t have a personal relationship with my family, but I’m struggling not to be a little hurt at the fact that no one has asked me really why my plans have changed. I’ve had no serious talks with anyone in my family since being here, had no chance to reflect on things learned or where my head has been.
I’ve been fighting with this for what feels like weeks now, and I’m sorry but this is garbage. Yeah sure, I’d love to go to Calgary and Revelstoke and Vancouver and Victoria and wherever the fuck else she wants me to go for some fucking reason. But I’m the one who put myself in this situation, have been working my ass off pulling money together this summer. I’m not about to blow it all on some stupid trip to go see family I haven’t seen in years and friends of my mothers. I’ve got my own world to get back to, I’m not even home yet and the concept of post secondary Is ALREADY being pushed at me. I know what I have to look forward to at home doesn’t seem like a lot, pulling together a job and a new home and new routines and settling back into my relationship, but fucking dammit my emotions are valid.
I’ve been on such a journey this summer, experienced so much personal growth and seen so much bloom within myself, and it breaks my heart that because of the relationship I share with my parents they’re probably not going to see any of it. I’m going to come home and they’ll be immune to the new light I put off, and will instantly be on my ass about what I’m doing next, what my next plan was, why I’m not instantly working.
I’m usually very fluid when it comes to my parents suggestions, I stay neutral and go with it for the most part. Texting my mom this morning, hearing her say “I respect your choices but as a parent I need to provide guidance, suggestions, and insights”. I understand that and I respect that, but I’m 22 years old and made the choice to come here on my own. I was the one that worked for the money to get myself out here. I was the one that put on my game face and made a good impression with my coworkers and bosses. I was the one that left everything behind to throw myself into a new work and living situation after two years of the same routine. I’m the one saving for my ticket home, and I’m the one who is going to make the final call as to when I leave and where I go.
I know I let my parents opinions sway me more than I should. I’ve let things they’ve said to me jade me, and because we don’t have that relationship where I feel like I can confide them in such personal things, I skirt the edges to avoid disappointing them.
I know that things are going to be different after this experience, this is something by no means I thought I was going to gain as experience points. I’d already had to snap at my dad once since being here, when I first brought up leaving potentially early. He got all dad-ee about me upsetting my boss, not getting a reference or a bonus if I were to leave a little early, concerned about the financial aspect as well as my professionalism.
My mental state wasn’t the best when I first brought that up, and the fact that my dad has also had problems with facing his own anxieties, yet wasn’t willing to really ask me how my head was, what was going on, had hurt me more than I thought it would.
I’m sick of this half assed mask that there is sitting between parent and child.
I asked my mom once when I was probably 17 if we were friends, and she said no, that she’s my parent not my friend. I shook it off, figuring it was because of my age, she still had parenting to do. Yet as I’ve continued to grow I’ve hardly seen the attitude change.
My parents have done so much right, and I’m truly blessed to have gotten to grow up around them, watching and learning from their dynamic and the things they valued enough to instill in myself and my siblings.
But with that being said, there is much I will choose to do differently when I have a family of my own.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned with distance from my parents, is that they’re just people, and I need not fear communication. I know the few times I’ve snapped back at them, probing them back with questions, giving mature and personal inseight, I’ve surprised them. Like I said I’m usually quite fluid with them, seeing as how I used to be so hostile, I try to keep most converstions light as to not go back to the rage that used to flow from me in their company.
I’m tired of being fluid though. I feel like my family knows me but knows absolutely nothing about me since I so often don’t give inseight or details or whatnot. Whenever a conversation reaches the point of personal details I usually just close off, wave it away. I’d never been comfortable talking like that with my parents, and especially in my teens when I was forced into counselling with them both it only got worse. It takes a considerable amount for me to sought the advice from my mom about personal issues.
I hadn’t realized how much I’d repressed, all the memories of hostility and rage and discomfort. I remember the day my mom called me out on the chicken scratches along my inner arms when I was 17, the both of us yelling and screaming around the house. Her bellowing at me to take off my bracelets, while I cowered behind my door in tears.
I can so specifically remember the few times I’d pulled enough shit to finally lift the parental mask from my mother and father. I’d catch a glimpse for just a second of their true selves, caught up in anger, I could see it in the lights of their eyes, spitting words at the most toxic form of myself.
I think back to the time I spent in counselling in my youth, and wish I could remember more details. It’s a haze though, my mind doesn’t want to remember it.
I’d never realized how my mind blocked out all the time I spent with therapists and life coaches, which is unfortunate since I’m sure it would be nice to have any sort of memory at all of what conclusions had been drawn upon.
The more I think about it the weirder it makes me feel.
I saw a cognitive therapist for a little while in high school, and only remembered a few months ago when I was talking about different forms of therapy with Abby. She asked me what the approach was like, and I should have remembered, since I was probably sixteen. I think back to the hours I spent there and its literally a block, my mind cut it out completely.
I have memories of sitting in the waiting room, and then curled up on a chair in her office crying. I remember a fight I had with my dad in the parking lot, crying and screaming about how embarrassed I was to be pulled out of school to be seeing a therapist again. But I don’t remember the conversations, the emotions, any kind of technique used, its all lost in the void of memories my mind deemed not worthy of recalling.
I have memories of being taken to doctor at a younger age, probably 11 or so. Whither medical or holistic I don’t remember, but the office was sparse and modernly decorated. I remember laying on a bench in an office that was decorated with warm tones and aspects of the doctor’s personal life, I don’t remember if there were medical tools or not. But I laid down on this bench, and he sat on a stool near my head with his fingertips on my scalp, repeating certain motions on my head with his hands. He told me that it would feel like my brain was rocking back and fourth. I don’t remember if he did anything else, but I left that day with powdered capsules and a jar of liquid with an eye dropped attached to the lid, filled with a substance I was supposed to take orally. I don’t remember what they were for or if I ever went back again.
The more I think back the more I remember, but only in snapshots.
I remember when I was 10, my parents weren’t sure if they wanted to keep me in Waldorf education or put me back into the Alternative system. They brought me to a building somewhere, where I was brought up several flights of stairs to sit in another office with a middle-aged man. I took a few paper tests, just about math and spelling I think, and then we talked for awhile. We did some inkblot tests as far as I can remember. I don’t remember his name, but I think I saw him a few times.
It was when I was 17 that my parents and I started going to a family and relationship councillor. That was the most upset I’d been about seeing a shrink in my entire life, the fact that I was literally being forced to talk to my parents with a third-party mediator present was absolutely nerve wracking. I saw her a few months before she asked if I would be okay with either one of my parents joining us for a day. My mom tagged along the next week, and on the way there I had already clammed up. I had only just gotten used to Marlene, and throwing my mom now into the mix had me right back to where we started.
I remember that office so clearly, and I remember parts of that day all too well, while other parts not at all. I sat in a heap in the corner of the couch across from Marlene, arms crossed and looking out the window. I pushed aside any stab at conversation for the first while, and then was quickly turned into a shaking, blubbering, mess.
It had reached a point of me acting out, that any time I got caught with my parents I would just turn off, go numb. I realized what’s the absolute worst that can happen? Take my phone, ground me, kick me off the internet at home, that’s literally it. Whenever I got caught in a lie, or my mom found drugs or booze in my room, I was caught skipping class, or spending time with people she didn’t approve of, I would turn off my brain while I sat there and idly took the punishment. I’d live out my grounding or whatnot, then go back to my routines.
I lied about everything, twisting the truth, manipulating stories, making up friends names to spit out in stories, and dishing out ridiculous cover stories for where I was really going and what I was doing.
I was horrible to my siblings, lashing out with attitude and toxicity that came from nowhere with no real reason. The things they had called me out for, the amount of times that children younger than me had to call me out for being a horrible person was mortifying to look back on. I don’t know why I was so angry, what I had to be so upset about.
I hated being touched by my family, any form of physical contact or positive admiration had me spitting venom and yelling profanity. I don’t know where it came from or why it stopped. There was no one event in my childhood that should have sparked such negative things from me. I don’t remember what changed, or when mind you, since so much is a block in my head still.
I just remember coming home from school in a better mood one day. Every single day for what felt like years, I would come home to the question “how was your day?”, to which every single day I would respond with a monotone “fine” before scampering up to my room for the rest of the night. But for whatever reason, I’d said it was good, and then continued to greet my mother or father, I don’t remember who, with a hug before going upstairs. It was the first time I’d sought out physical contact from either of them in months, and I just remember watching the storm cloud above me begin to fade away slowly with time.
It wasn’t until I moved out though that things really settled, and even then, I don’t know if things really settled or if the distance of not living with my parents just smoothed things over.
It was weird coming back home. I didn’t really have a sit down conversation with my parents upon moving back in, which I’m not at all surprised about. Looking back we should have talked about how it would work. The fact that I was now moving back home as an adult, how would I contribute to the household? How long would I be staying? Would I start paying rent at a certain point? Do you expect to hear from me if I’m not coming home at night? How this was actually going to work.
I’d always been one to keep things from them until the last minute, just to avoid a hassle. I didn’t tell them I was moving out of their house until after I’d signed a lease and was going to be moving in three weeks. I didn’t tell my mom I was going to be moving back home until the day after my breakup. I didn’t tell them I’d be breaking off my contract in Alberta until after my two weeks had been given. My mother had once judged me so harshly for going out with someone a few weeks after a breakup in high school, that I’m now hesitant and wait until the last possible second to tell her when I’ve started seeing someone new. Any new body mod, hair colour, tattoo, I would wait to show them until after I’d already gone and done it, so it’d already be too late if they wanted to advise me not to do it.
I Put off telling them about my leaving early because I knew she was going to push me to stay, to take the trip, to spend the money, to just go because I’d already come all this way. I know she’s just trying to help, I know that it would be an incredible time and I’d be so lucky to have a free place to stay in Vancouver. But I am drained. I am exhausted.
I want familiarity and routine and a city I know. I want to come home and see friends and family and places I’ve been before. I spent the last two months very much out of my element, trying to get my feet on the ground. I was an absolute wreck of a child, and my mother should fully know that. You’d look at that nervous deer of an awkward teenager and never in your life would you think that she should make the decision to sought this out and actually do it.
I know this summer doesn’t seem like that big a deal. God it hardly is. I literally just moved a few provinces over to work at a hotel for a few months. I know its not a big deal, but for someone like me this is an enormous deal. This is a huge thing and I did it, I made the choice to come out here by myself, I worked for the money to afford coming out here by myself. I did the research and nailed the interview by myself.
I got myself to fucking Hinton Alberta, and made a home for myself in this strange little place with a group of people I didn’t know. I got a job in a field I’ve NEVER worked in my life, and managed to learn how to do it and how to do it well. I made a good impression with my coworkers and managers, and learned to adapt and troubleshoot in and out of work. I fought through ups and downs, while learning about myself and my relationship and my friends at home. I thought about it, and made the decision to come home by myself. I’ve come to learn what truly makes me happy, what instills passion and drive within me, the things I love to do and the kinds of people that inspire me. I got to get inspired by simple living, and learned more about how I truly enjoy spending my time. I got to learn about a different lifestyle, driven by little things that spark passion. I got to spend time outside, connecting with the earth in ways I had never imagined. I realized so much about myself, and I realize that for some people something like this really doesn’t seem like a big deal, but to me this was astronomical. This was a huge step for me, and I’m so proud of myself for following through and sticking it out. Fuck I was so close to bunking off and bailing in the middle of the night a few weeks into my time here. The fact that I am STILL HERE after that in of its own is something I am proud of.
I’m not going about my choice to leave lightly. I know my time has come, and I know I’ve wrung out all I can from this experience. I didn’t come out here for the job. I came out here for the life, and the people and the solitude and the connections and the lessons.
I was talking to Olivia last night, and she put it so well. That I’ve already come to do the majority of the learning that I could have from being out here. Taking some silly trip to appease my mom isn’t going to give me anywhere near the realisations on the world like what I’ve had here. I don’t know this for sure of course, but I came here for the time in Alberta, not the time trapped in limbo between this home and my old home. I’m tired, I want to lay in my own bed and shower in my own shower, despite neither of those things at home really being mine.
It’d just feel like I was prolonging my arrival home and back to the real world. I’m not in the mindset to travel now, my energy has been dwindling since the snow hit.
I had my big step out the door, I know how easy it is to just book a ticket and go. I have no problem doing that, and the fact that I’ve banked the money I have in my savings account has me inspired for next summer to see where I end up for real.
This summer I needed a new element, I needed to live out of my comfort zone for awhile. While next summer I hope to live out of a backpack in nothing but Birkinstocks and jean cutoffs with my dudes clammy hand to hold.
I’ve got the next year of my life to plan for. If I’m going to do it right, I want to have my life sorted out before I leave. I want to be working in Art House, set up in a new home, spend the winter doing things I love, working lots, staying involved and working hard on getting my life together.
I’ve fully realized that I can live a fulfilling life even if I don’t know what I want to be doing down the road with post secondary. I can live my days happy and satisfied and looking forward to tomorrow. I don’t need to have an end goal in mind.
Wake up in a good mood, try new things, stay active in the community, get outside, have good conversations, rid my life of toxic people and hold on to the things that make me feel alive. Create lots, paint lots, write lots, drink coffee, walk around, ride my bike, cook good food, meet new people, save my money, plan adventures, get stoked on all the incredible things I could spend my days doing.
I need to rid myself of any worry of judgement my family will hold over my head. I need to go with what I trust is right, I’ve earned the ability to trust my gut at this point. The world will unfold as it should.
I know I’m making a good call to come home. Anything I’m already stressing so much about is not worth my time or energy. Kales coming home, and she will do what she does best.
I’m at the point where I’m willing to go back home and rip down any professional walls between parent and child. I’m tired of stuffy conversation, get passionate and talk to me like a real human. I want to feel comfortable enough to talk to my parents and ask for advice when I need it, I really want to be able to feel vulnerable around them, I love them unconditionally. I have such an incredible family, and I value each one of them for such different things, they’ve all helped shape me into the person I’ve become.
I know we need to work on communication though, and I know that first step needs to come from me. I need to be willing to bring myself back to a vulnerable place, to be the first one to come to them looking for help, advice when I’m at a low point. I need to ask the thought provoking questions, show them the part of myself I’ve come to know so well, yet they’ve never seen before. There is so much in me that I know is unfamiliar to them, and there are things within themselves I know nothing about in turn.
One of my biggest fears is my parents passing and feeling like I know nothing about them. Yes we will have had years of wonderful memories and lives that intertwined, but I want to be able to stand and tell stories on stories and spit out facts about them as people, not just as parents. I want to be friends with my parents, just like as I want to be friends with the children I hope to have one day.
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