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naminethewriter · 24 days ago

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Thank You for Finding Me

Chapter Three: Talking It Out

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@intrulogicalweek

Story Summary: Logan didn’t date or really had any friends but when this strange guy asks him out while complimenting his posterior, he can’t help but be intrigued.

Content Warnings: Rage room, Discussions of Unhappy Childhood

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For around twenty minutes, Logan just let himself feel and destroy. Every time he felt dismissed by his parents bubbled up again and he first threw more plates before Remus put the metal bat in his hand again and pointed him to the tv.

It was a very old model that resembled the one his parents had during his childhood. He hadn’t been allowed to watch any program that his parents hadn’t approved of. They all watched the news together. It wasn’t the worst, but it did bring up a new flood of unpleasant memories. The isolation he felt at school when all his classmates talked about their favorite shows or games he wasn’t allowed to own.

The bat had shattered the screen on the first hit.

Eventually Remus handed him the sledgehammer. It had made it all the more satisfying.

Despite Logan’s new state fueled by the desire to destroy, he was always aware of where Remus was in the room and ensured he wasn’t caught up in his anger even slightly. Though Remus kept himself out of the way just fine, cheering Logan on as he himself kicked the chairs into splinters.

Logan let the sledgehammer fall to the ground when he was done. His arms ached and he was out of breath, but he hadn’t felt so light in a long, long time. He stumbled back to the door and leaned against it. He would have sat down if the ground wasn’t covered with glass and plastic shards and wooden splinters.

“You good?” Remus asked, breaking a chair leg over his thigh.

“Yes. I think my arms will be sore tomorrow, but I feel great. I think I am done for today, however.”

“Yeah, that tracks. You just experienced a lot at once. How about we grab a drink and talk about it? Letting anger out like this is great, but I feel like I just made you realize a lot of trauma and you can’t really process that without talking about it. Though I’m also okay if you have someone else in mind you’d rather do that with. Just wanted to offer.”

Logan was pretty sure that was the first time he saw Remus flustered. His cheeks were a bit red, and he scratched at his mustache.

“No, a drink with you sounds lovely. I would like to learn more about you, too.”

“Good! Great! Let’s go.”

Logan chuckled lightly, the expression on Remus’ face was precious in his opinion. It seemed like sincerity disarmed him rather quickly.

They returned to the dressing room and put all the equipment back where they took it from. On their way out, Amanda smiled.

“Had fun?”

“Fuck yeah! You should’ve seen him take apart that tv, it was so hot.”

Amanda rolled her eyes fondly and clicked a few things on her computer.

“There’s your total. Thank you for your patronage.”

Remus tapped his card against the reader and winked at her.

“See ya soon!”

“I don’t doubt it!” she called after them as Remus once again held open the door for Logan.

“How regularly do you come here?”

“Couple times a month, usually. Got a membership, so I get a nice discount.”

“And how are they supplied with the items?”

“Well, some are donations from customers, some are from deals they have with other stores like this one.” Remus pointed to the electronics store that Logan noticed on their way in. “They basically accept old electronics and take them apart to see what they can still use and give the rest downstairs. The tv you went ham on probably had some hardware taken out of it prior. And then there’s junkyards that are willing to give them things too.”

“Very interesting. On to another matter, however, what kind of drinks were you imagining? I am driving, so I cannot drink alcohol.” Logan usually came to work by bike, but he hadn’t known for how long Remus’ planned activities would last, so he figured taking the car was the safer option.

“That’s cool. I’m not really into spontaneous drinking either. I was more thinking coffee or sodas or something.”

“I would like a coffee,” Logan agreed. “And I would like to pay for it.”

“Sounds good.”

They walked in comfortable silence to a nearby coffee shop and both selected their drinks. Remus asked if they wanted to sit down but Logan found he now had a lot of nervous energy he wanted to walk off. So instead, they made their way to the nearby park.

“How would you like to talk about it?” Remus eventually asked. “Should I ask questions? Do you wanna talk and I just let you ramble?” He waved his hand around in an ‘et cetera’ motion and Logan smiled, grateful for his thoughtfulness.

“I would like to hear about your thoughts, actually. What were you thinking about when you hit that shelf for example?”

“Well, mostly work stuff. I’m a teacher and some of my colleagues are annoying. Nothing major but it’s been frustrating recently.”

“I am surprised. You don’t strike me as someone who’d want to be a teacher.”

Remus chuckled.

“You’re not the only one. But it’s been on my mind since my school days actually. It’s probably easy to imagine that I had my struggles. I was hella smart, but I had an ‘attitude problem’ according to most of my teachers. Made it hard to enjoy learning when they criticized me for every small thing. Felt like no one was on my side for the most part. So, I decided I wanted to become a teacher and be on the side of kids like me who didn’t fit in easily. And I think that’s working out rather well.”

“That’s wonderful, Remus.”

“Thank you! When I told my parents about it, I think I changed their view of me quite a bit.”

“How so?”

“Well, they always favored Roman over me. Not sure if they were all that aware of it but I sure felt it. They didn’t like the way I dressed all that much or that I started dyeing my hair. They didn’t interfere or anything, but they’d make comments. And they believed the teachers when they accused me of starting fights and talking back for no reason. When I enrolled in college for my teaching degree was the point where they realized that I was serious about the whole thing, I think. They’ve been a lot kinder to me since.”

“What about your brother?” Logan asked. He was very curious how similar the brothers were to each other.

“We didn’t share a lot of classes in high school, so he couldn’t really say one way or the other. He was there for me when it mattered but he also had a lot of friends and after-school activities, so he was out a lot. We went to the same college though. It was a lot of fun. He lives a few hours away now and I kinda miss him. Not that I would ever tell him that.”

“I see…”

“You good?” Remus asked quietly. They passed an empty bench and Remus gestured at it as if to ask if they wanted to sit down. Logan nodded and let himself sink onto the wood. The sun danced through the leaves of a nearby tree, and he took a deep breath.

“Yes. I was just wondering what it would have been like if I had a sibling. My parents told me when I asked if I would get one, that they only needed me to inherit their assets. Another child would just complicate things.”

“That sounds harsh.” Remus had sprawled out on the bench, his arms slung over the backrest and his back melted against the wood. In contrast, Logan maintained his upright posture, just how his mother had taught him.

“Maybe. I already knew that I was born for a purpose, so I wasn’t all that surprised. When my grandfather heard about it though, he was furious.”

“He sounds like he was a cool guy.”

“He was more open than my parents, but he still wasn’t that different. He had raised my father after all. Until he retired, I rarely met him. It was afterwards when he had time that he started to care. He agreed with my parents that knowledge was the most important thing and made sure that I had the best education I could have but he also said that all that knowledge was worthless if it wasn’t used to lead the life I wanted to live. That’s why he got my parents to let him take care of me. He wanted me to make my own choices, that’s all. If I wanted to read a novel instead of a philosophy book, then that was fine by him. But emotional expression wasn’t something he excelled at either. None of them had much appreciation for the arts either.”

“Ouch. Artistic expression was a big thing in my family. Ro does theater and writing. I do more drawing and sculpting. Mom’s a dancer and dad can play so many instruments, it’s crazy. But yeah, no wonder you had so much repressed anger. That sounds like one bleak childhood.”

“It wasn’t all bad. Like I said, I enjoyed playing the piano. And sometimes my mother would do a jigsaw puzzle with me. It wasn’t much but she’d smile at me when we’d finish one. Father and I read together. They got me a DS and the Professor Layton games when I explained to them that it included a lot of puzzles. They praised and rewarded me when I got good grades. Grandfather even got my father to agree to foregoing his inheritance so that I could have it all. I can be a librarian and not worry about expenses. I know they cared for me in some ways.”

Silence hung between them for a moment and Logan watched the steam rise from his coffee cup. He took a sip, and it tasted just right.

“I’m glad you can do what you want now. But you went through a lot to get here and I’m proud of you for making it. You’ve worked hard.”

The sincerity in Remus’ words brought tears to Logan’s eyes.

“Thank you. I’m proud of you, too. You looked at your hardships and decided to make sure the same thing wouldn’t happen to other children. That’s wonderful.”

“Thanks, Lolo. That means a lot.”

They smiled at each other and the world seemed just a little bit brighter.

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