#TUMBLR WASN'T LETTING ME POST LIKE WHAT THE HECK-

[ircnbeauty]

did you hear the latest scoop ? we’ve got a new student joining us ! a little birdie told me that they’re called CHEONG NAYEON, but they kinda remind me of KIM YOOJUNG — don’t ‘cha think ? you’re probably thinkin’ they’re just another 23 year old in their THIRD year of some BACHELOR’S DEGREE IN ENGLISH EDUCATION, but wait ‘till you hear about their METAL MANIPULATION! nifty, huh ? they’re pretty RELIABLE on nullivi, but you should watch out for their INDECISIVENESS just in case ! anyway — if you wanna check them out, i heard they’re staying at the YELLOW HALL as their latest SECRETARY. oops ! you didn’t hear that one from me ! ༊*·˚

happy belated opening everyone! this is maeve ( +21/ she,her / gmt +8 ) and its been a long time since i last rped on tumblr so bear with me everyone if i'm a little bit slow on some things but i'm truly more than happ to be here! so sorry it took me a while to get this intro out but ooc life was being a little too hectic for my taste but i managed to get this done so lets goooo! simply leave a like and i'll be in your dms to message for brainstorming and plots!

INSIGHT ON HER HISTORY

— first thing first, cheong nayeon is currently a third year of her bachelors degree's in english education at seoul university of anomalies where she's hoping to graduate wit flying colors and became a teacher. she's known to harnessed the ability of metal manipulation and the beloved and very reliable secretary of the yellow hall. — she came from a middle class family with two parents who were both anomalies with her being the only child. whilst they weren't exactly very wealthy, they were never short of money or love and affection for each other. obviously, she gained her powers from her parents with her mother's being metal manipulation and her fathers having clay mimicry as his. — her mother was a small jewelry brand owner where she uses her powers her to make beautiful delicate jewelry whilst her dad was a history teacher in a high school. — nayeon's powers began to manifest when she was only 3 years old with curiosity naturally getting the best of her as she'd always been a curious child and couldn't stay still for a second and practically demanded for her mother's attention by controlling the metals her mom had been working on for her job to go to her instead. ( of course, that definitely got her mother's attention rather quickly when your own toddler is attempting to shove silver chains into their mouth. ) — nayeon had been homeschooled for her first years as she didn't really knew how to control her powers at a young age and her parents absolutely refused to put on the nullivi patches on her when she was far too young. — having have to be at home for the most part, nayeon may or may not consumed too much superhero medias where she'd seen so many heroes helping others with their unique abilities and decided that she wanted to be a hero too cause she had cool powers too! — eventually, once her parents had trained her to control her powers better, she'd began to go to school like a normal girl but was frequently advised to never use her powers in front of anyone which bumped the poor girl out. ( because why couldn't she use her powers? but she was a good girl so she naturally obeyed ) but when she was only 12 years old, there was a construction site nearby her middle school district and just from sight alone, it was clear the construction site wasn't following safety protocols and there could have been a fatal accident if it hadn't been for little nayeon using her powers to stop iron beams from falling onto fellow school-mates and seriously injured them. — however, instead of being thanked for saving them, her displays of her powers only made people feared her and for the first time, nayeon finally learned why her parents didn't let her use her powers as often as she liked because they never wanted her to experience the discrimination many anomalies often faced for their unique abilities at such a young age. and nayeon's heart broke when she realized she couldn't be a hero when so many people didn't want one and in fact would down on her own prowess that she'd been so proud of for years. — the incident only made her an outcast in middle school as everyone else made sure to avoid her, even her own teachers. this of course led her begging her parents to buy the patches for her so she could simply fit in her peers. it didn't work and worse, she absolutely hated the patches and the side effects she gets from them ( nausea/migraines ) and would absolute get rid of them whenever she had the chance to. — but she had to wear them just so she could continued to attend public schools where she was nothing more but a social outcast and a wallflower. it gotten worse when she began to attend high school where her kind nature and desperation not to be lonely frequently gotten taken advantage of so many times. and this frequent abuse of her trust only made her more withdrawn and reserved, a very stark difference to the little girl who was so passionate about being a hero.

— this of course worried her parents immensely who desperately wants the best for their only child and decided to have nayeon to join a volunteering club to help out the less fortunate anomalies, in hopes of cheering her up. this worked perfectly as nayeon not only brightened even more in the company of other anomalies like her, but it sparked a passion of her to wanting to keep helping others even more especially when her kind nature always had such a desire but she was never allowed. — soon, she began studying at seoul university for anomalies and truly, she absolutely thrived in the environment where she'd not only was able to use her powers freely and not be seen like a freak, but was able to frequently help others as much as she liked to ; especially now as she'd recently became the new secretary for the yellow hall. — she dreams of becoming an english teacher and desperately hopes for an anomaly-only schools for middle schools and high schools aged students where the anomalies would be able to thrives without repressing their abilities. — nayeon also hoped to heal from her scarred and wounded childhood where she'd finally moved on but healing takes time and she's kinda worried it'll take forever ( anomaly group therapy, anyone? )

INSIGHT ON HER PERSONALITY. — at first glance, she rather seemed shy and timid amd obviously not the best at social interactions ( introverted, socially awkward peeps, where you at?! ) but when one takes a closer look, many people found her to be a rather sweet and gentle-mannered person who's always there to lend a helping hand for others and is probably one of the most reliable students. — aside from her socially awkward self, she's quite humorous and very funny thanks to herself inheriting the humor from her father. ( god bless clay papa ) will she make a joke in very inappropriate times? possibly. will she also have the audacity to laugh at them too? oh very much so. ( have mercy, she's just coping with humor ) — still very much has emotional scars from the events of her childhood and adolescence years which naturally transitions herself to being very self-critical and having so much insecurities, it often leads her to being so unsure of herself and her own decision making. — perhaps one of the most indecisive people to ever existed. she would always need a second opinion before choosing anything and its even worse when it comes to supporting which students politics, especially when she sees both perspectives. whilst a part of her still wants to fit in among the humans, another part of her still resents them heavily for the discrimination and its a constant battle between them. — its even worse between the sporting rallies as she immensely enjoyed watching all of them ( and especially the good-looking athletes but we don't talk about that ) so she rather much just sit back and just watch instead of just picking one to support.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. — friends! like please be her friend, perhaps maybe be even her closest friends! she may be terrible at trying to socialize with new strangers but i keep her keeping a very close group of friends to which she's basically the mother friend who often fussed over them. open to anyone and everyone! — perhaps an ex? her first love and sweetheart that she dated since coming to sua, possibly a sweet first love romance that slowly matured with time before something happened and they naturally drifted apart and broke up ( nayeon may or may not still have feelings for them ) — yellow hall residents! she's always more than happy to help others out even if it were just tedious things like getting things such as lights to be fixed or having to let them or anything really! — perhaps have any of the student politics trying to convince her to support their side, actually make her choose between them! — generally i'm just very much open to any kind of brainstorming any kind of plots and connections and i am just really excited to write with all of you!

[pianostarinwonderland]

maybe skully isnt dead 🤯 [half copium half srs]

listen. ik ive been on copium for a while. ik we all are, ive seen twitter, tumblr, and everyone’s tags on my posts when they reblog

BUT PLS HEAR ME OUT. IM SO SERIOUS RN WHEN I SAY: if u wanna be technical about it, if u wanna stretch it out somehow, you can argue that the game never outright states that skully is dead, only that the skully we met was from hundreds of years ago.

“but mamsir pianostarinwonderland, how in the fuck can that be???? we HEARD that invisible kiss” LET ME COOKKKKKK 🔥🔥🔥 I SWEAR EVERYONE, I AM COOKING U JUST HAVE TO HEAR ME OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT— knocked out

Ok serious time, let me mansplain to you all the possibility of Skully being alive

Establishing first of all, Twst has kept Skully's nature vague

Simply put: we don't know if Skully is human. In his live 2D, Skully's ears are completely covered. Even in his illustration, we can barely see his ears. It's an interesting design choice. However, in his chibi (which wasn't revealed until Episode 5), we can see his ears aren't shaped like a fae, but are round like that of a human.

However, it's pretty hard to think he's human either, when we consider his "moshi, ne moshi" greeting in Episode 1 and its connection to the supernatural. Voiced, to be noted. Exactly what kind of creature he could be is currently unknown, but because this part was voiced, it's something we need to pay attention to at the very least.

In regards to his mortality, the only clue we're really given is Skully himself saying that he may never meet us except through Halloween, which implies a lifespan similar to a human or something similar. But Skully doesn't know how far into the future that the cast is from. Heck, does he even know of his nature?

Now, addressing that invisible kiss...

I feel like this is the main thing that told all of us that Skully is long gone. Heck, if you catch me in my right mind, I might just tell you that yeah, that should be enough proof that Skully is dead! Little signs from the dead such can manifest in similar ways to what Jamil and Leona sensed: hearing a kiss and feeling a kiss on your hand.

(unfortunately i'm not in my right mind so you're getting my dumb reasons why i'm arguing for otherwise)

However, if Skully is gone, I find it interesting that this is the way they decide to show it. We already know from the very first Halloween event that ghosts can manifest all year round in Night Raven College due to the high concentration of magical power in the area. Outside of that, they cannot be seen. If they really wanted to confirm with the audience that Skully is a ghost, they could have had him appear as such at the end, when they all returned to Night Raven College.

But they chose a scenario where people can draw a lot of conclusions from it: Is their senses getting fucked over as they wake up? Are they still reeling from the magic of the book? (though rationally, we know that Leona is not one to be easily stunned, so the first question is at the very least easy to dismiss)

I've also seen some people theorize that he's using invisibility magic during the invisible kiss scene. And well, while I find that funny, it makes me wonder if he could be some other kind of spirit that's not dead. Like an undead of some sort, which the residents of Halloween Town are. Heck, Azul's card line about Skully talks about how he seems to fit right at home with the Halloween Town residents. Again, we don't know Skully's true nature, but the possibility of him being a species that can turn invisible is interesting.

Moving on, we have what Dire Crowley stated about Skully

At the end of the event, Crowley tells us that he found Skully’s portrait while rummaging through the storage and shows it to us and the 11 boys who went inside the book

What he tells us is that Skully J. Graves is a NRC graduate from hundreds of years ago, before Crowley was Headmage. Note that he only was appointed for the position 100 years ago; the Skully we met is at least from around 200 years ago. During his NRC years, Skully got to share Halloween to NRC. It was a hit, and when he graduated, he spread Halloween all over the world in his travels.

I'd like to take a little detour first to discuss something that's been weighing on my mind: Some people have thought that Crowley is lying to us when he speaks about Skully and his achievements, but... I don't see why he would lie. For one, there is a decent chance that Crowley might not have gotten to see Skully. Even if he did, it's even more unsure if he was involved in Skully's affairs.

However, there's one main reason why I do think that Skully got to live a fulfilling life instead of facing an overblot that killed him or some other tragedy. I'd like to dedicate a longer post to this matter, but to make it concise, I think through Skully, Twst is starting to establish something new regarding their history. I think that historical teachings, folktales and stories, and rumors that are well-known tend to be lies or twisted truths. Whereas those that are obscure and not known are actually what occurred. Skully is called the King of Halloween who's done so much to spread the holiday to the world, yet not even NRC students, who should be the first to know considering that Skully is an alumna, know of him. Although there may be other reasons why that's the case, I like to think that at the very least, Skully's obscurity indicates that he did live the life he wanted and succeeded in working for a future that generations after him can enjoy.

Anyway, that actually isn't the main point of this section of the post, but I kind of want to air that out first. The main point is that Crowley only really said that Skully is a former NRC student from hundreds of years ago who traveled around the world to spread Halloween. But he never told us where he was buried or whether he saw his ghost roaming NRC. He never said anything about Skully being dead.

He probably said the hundreds of years ago bit, carrying the assumption that of course, Skully may have passed away. But we have to remember that we have long-living species in Twisted Wonderland. Fae that were students 200 years ago are very likely to be alive now. Crowley himself is a long-living creature, having been Headmage for 100 years. I think with that in mind, it's important for him to emphasize that Skully's gone if he really is. But he never mentioned it. Therefore, there is a good chance that Skully might just be somewhere else. That or Crowley just doesn't give a fuck where his alumni go, and I might be thinking too deeply about the absence of certain words. Honestly, that's a pretty good chance too.

Lastly, we have the scene where Jack Skellington gets shot down but survives it

Here's where it gets a bit more into speculation, but you're going to have to hear me out.

In the movie, Jack Skellington gets shot down by the military for impersonating Santa Claus. When the Halloween Townspeople watched it, they all despaired, and the mayor started declaring to all that Jack has been blown to smithereens and proclaimed him dead.

But that's not what happened: we find Jack landing on an angel's statue, alive and definitely not blown to smithereens.

And considering that Skully is still very much twisted from Jack Skellington... do you think the writers are pulling a similar move? Making us think that he's dead, just as the townspeople thought he was dead, only for us to learn eventually that he's alive.

This of course depends on what happens eventually in the sequel. From the way things are proceeding, what happened in the Lost in the Book with TNBC is events prior to the movie, and we could very well have the sequel be set during the movie events. (If you ask me, I kind of doubt that actually. I feel like Skellington got inspired by Skully's love for Halloween, enough to stay true to his identity as the Pumpkin King, which would mean the movie wouldn't happen the way we know it. So if anything, I feel like TNBC 2 would focus less on the actual movie and more on the side games where Oogie takes over Halloween Town and even kidnaps Santa and other people, but I admit, that's a stretch, especially considering that we will get Santa giving Halloween Town a taste of Christmas)

Of course, this post is really just to let some of my copium out. Rn, it's still safe to assume that yea, Skully's dead. And though I am coping hard for Skully to be alive, with the way Twst treats the dead, it's not exactly a bad thing. Ghosts continue to stay in NRC like they're living people. They honor the dead, and let the dead live among them. And even if he is in the afterlife and not stuck in the mortal plane, I have faith that Skully did live a fulfilling life that may have been forgotten but clearly changed the world. :'D

[katkat030]

Hermitcraft/Life Series Fic Recs!!!

I am absolutely insane about so many of these and I genuinely can't recommend them enough. Like the post that inspired this, I'll probably tag authors if I know their Tumblr urls, but please let me know if you want me to remove any and I will!

Fair warning that most of these have shipping!

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But oh, the bloom by @sillyfairygarden (read here) ongoing.

Ough. Whimsy, Pearlescentmoon, the best version of desertduo I've ever read, and indecipherable sounds of me screaming. If there's one fic I ever want people to read, it's this one. There's a reason I'm putting this first, as much as I hate to pick favourites! Warning: you may will fall in love with the story. Possibly my favourite author - cannot recommend their works enough <3 (The Champion's Banquet also made me go not just a little insane)

It's an absolute necessity to highlight the tags on this one: blows a kiss to the sky. for all my pearliemoon lovers searching for wonder and whimsy in the world around you // Now with more angst! // a man leaves the life he loved to explore the beauty of the world

More fic recs under the cut!

you came at the brink of the end of the world by Anonymous/ @louiessleeplessnights (read here) ongoing.

I don't know how to even begin describing this. I think it made me fall in love with Boatem all over again. It's hilarious, sad, beautiful, Scar calls Grian trouble, they're both idiots and in love, and it's everything I'd look for in a published novel and so much more. This fic permanently altered my brain chemistry and I cannot recommend it enough times. SO SO SO well written. Warning: it's rated explicit, but a few updates ago it was just mature - chapter 20 and the first half of chapter 21 are the ones you might want to skip if that's not your jam! It's just kissing but it gets... a bit heated lmao.

An excerpt from the description:

[grian is falling from the sky, scar has more magic in his blood than he realized, and everyone else is so much better at seeing than they are]

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Redstone and Skulk by @silverskye13 (read here) ongoing.

Once again lost on how to describe this. Could I leave it at "please please please please read it I love it so much", by any chance? The worldbuilding is so fleshed out, probably my favourite example of characterisation I've ever seen and the descriptions are everything.

Helsknight and Tanguish (the hels version of Tango) are the duo ever. There's no shipping in this, just intense platonic bonds and lifetime devotion featuring a cranky knight and a pathetic wet cat. I love them so much.

Excerpt from the description:

Tanguish is Tango's hels, and they get along a lot better than most hels and their hermits should. Unfortunately, the universe wasn't made to house both of them. Helsmets were made to return to their hermits eventually, making a complete person. Except what happens when the hels is the stronger of the two? What happens if they really don't want to be?

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there are many downsides to being a marine biologist by donnerstag/ @martynsimp69 (read here) complete.

Unashamed to say I binge read this in exactly two days; 26 chapters, an epilogue, accompanying mermay oneshot collection (read here) and nearly crying later, I'm here to say you should totally check it out too. Because fis 🐠 and mermaid Martyn Warning: some unethical experimentation, and I think there's mention of alcohol.

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Hot Tea by @tunastime (read here) complete.

The Ethubs fic ever (and the first one I ever read!) This is what introduced me to *gesturing vaguely* whatever the heck they have going on, and I haven't been the same since. Warning: brainrot.

I'm once again stealing something from the description since tumblr oh-so-helpfully destroyed half my draft:

“Let me over,” Bdubs says again, and as he sees Etho open his mouth in protest yet again, he lurches forward, stuttering out his words. He nearly knocks the tea out of his own hands. “Just—just for tonight. Just tonight.” Etho knows he has to divide the base between them. It's the only way to settle, now, knowing everything between them. How Bdubs shouldn't be there. Etho builds the fence. Etho divides them. And Etho divides himself in the process.

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Between Us, We Have An Ocean by inkachu (read here) complete.

Only recommending this because it made me cry, and it's so well written. No shipping, just a foster care au in which Gem and Etho are... siblings. That doesn't even begin to cover how much the story really gripped me. It's soft, it's sweet, it's sad, it's amazing. Warning: I haven't cried while reading a book in probably a decade, and this is the one exception. Not to worry, I promise it won't hurt too much (saying how it ends would be a spoiler, but I promise the ending won't haunt you forever).

It's so gooood.

An excerpt from the description:

“My mum couldn’t take care of me, so she gave me to Canada.” Gem announced cheerily, swapping her red pencil for a yellow one, drawing what could only be a sun in the top corner of her page. “Then Canada found me a new mum.” Etho clicked his tongue. “Right.” “What about your mum?” “She uh, Couldn’t take care of me either. So I go to other people’s houses and they take care of me for her.”

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From the Archives by @sixteenth-days (read here) complete.

there's also an extra bunch of character studies/AUs/very cool bonus stories called From the Archives: Marginalia (read here) complete (?)

riverbed and mouse hole/black hole from Marginalia are my personal favourites. Playing around with like the physical structure of a text that way is super inspirational. I have all of the main fics downloaded to reread offline whenever I'm travelling/away from home! There's no need to know anything about The Magnus Archives to understand - personally I'd never heard of it before reading this. Also no shipping in the main fic :)

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lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) by @definitelynotshouting (read here) (author's explanation of the premise here) ongoing.

Warning: I'll give the warning for this one straight up, there are heavy themes like suicide and depression - Grian is going through it! If you're going to read it at least heed the ao3 tags :)

I'm stealing an excerpt from the fic to explain this one:

This hunger is a low rumble deep at the core of him, steady in the same way one might test a newly healed bone. The kind of fragile after a respawn, when your skin has knit together but the echo of pain still lingers. It doesn't hold him hostage anymore– he can muster the strength to look past it, and that, out of everything that's happened to him over the past year, is what's most frightening.

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Time to Kill Today by RimeThyme/ @going-to-the-sun (read here)

Featuring THE Ethubs song ever, some cool references to Mindcrack, and a really ineresting take on their relationship over the years. <33 read it, you won't regret it!

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Laugh rule - list of titles that made me laugh, mainly oneshots

THE DIVORCE OF THE CENTURY by glossyblue/ @good-chimes (read here)

The Government Institute for Ghost Supervision (G.I.G.S.) by glossyblue (read here)

The Rules of Buttercup Camp by glossyblue (read here)

Dead Heat by glossyblue (read here)

Interlude from Another Reality: Married Life by sixteenthdays (read here)

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Okay 2 more fic recs and I'm done, I promise xD

You Could've Applied Online by Anonymous (read here)

Actually hilarious and such fun to read! Stealing something from the description again:

Bdubs stuttered over his words, hand holding the knife tensing around the handle as he looked around the room. Was he being pranked? Did Scar do this? He couldn’t think of another conversation that had confused him more than this. Etho’s eyes crinkled around the edges, mouth subtly changing into what Bdubs imagined was a smile as he felt irritation creep into his mind. “You’re joking right now.” Another shift under the mask. He was definitely smiling now. “How’d you guess?” Or: Bdubs kills someone (on purpose), makes people angry (NOT on purpose), and somehow gets a boyfriend in the process. Or was he a bodyguard? Bdubs doesn't really know himself. Oh, and Etho just wants to pay his rent on time. Preferably without another dead roommate.

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Spring Blossoms by Fire_Cat (read here)

Ethubs, Stardew Valley-esque. Super fun read, highly recommend :D

Stealing from the description once more:

Burnt out and exhausted with city life, Etho packs up and moves to the old abandoned farm his parents owned before he was born. It's sat empty for thirty years and it's not in a good state, but he's determined to make the most of it. The town is full of good people, and he quickly finds friendship in abundance. Amongst them all though, one stands out. Bdubs is kind and funny and exceptionally talented at a number of things. He's handsome too, and Etho can't help but crush on him, just a little bit. They get along fantastically right from day one, but Etho keeps his feelings to himself. It's just a crush, it'll go away. And besides, it's not like Bdubs would ever like him back... Right?'

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If you end up reading and enjoying any of these, PLEASE go and give the authors some love in the comments! Writing really isn't an easy feat (or quick)

[headfarintheclouds]

The Deal (Iso x Reader) Chapter 1

I tried dto post that 3 times from my PC but Tumblr crashed... so I'm posting it from my phone. I hope you guys like it !

Words count : 1400k

TW: none

"Fuck this I'm done!" yelling in anger I threw the gun to the ground, if Brimstone or Sova saw me right now I would probably get a scolding of a lifetime, but they weren't here with me. Only Gekko and his crew.

"Hey, calm down Y/n ! I'm sure you get it next try." the green haired Latino raised his hands, trying to stop me from exiting the practice range. I threw a nasty glare his way, making Trash growl at me in warning. "Hey, no that's not very nice!" he quickly scolded the creature making it roll its eyes at him.

I huffed and turned my head to the target I was practicing on. A ray of bullet holes behind it, only five or four on it. If being bad at shooting was a sport, then I was the champion of it.

"I'm sorry Mateo but I've been practicing for months now. I can't seem to land a single shot. If it's gonna be like that then I might as well quit while I'm ahead." I told him with a sad smile. His brow eyes widened in surprise upon hearing me say that, before I knew it, he was standing before me with a deep frown on his youthful face.

"Hey no, don't think like that. Not everyone is good at everything, chicka. Sometime those things take time." sending me a small smile he put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it in silent support.

"It's been six months through, what if I'm not made for this?" I looked up at my best friend, desperation clear in my voice.

"Nobody was made for this, but everyone made it work in the end. You'll get there soon enough." he nodded his head, firmly believing in his own words.

I sighed. Yeah, I was invited to Valorant by Brimstone himself, but back then none of us knew I would be an absolute shit at shooting. All he saw was a silent Radiant, with control over sounds who was amazingly good at sneaking and getting information. It was what he needed, he told me back then. But then assured me he wouldn't send me anywhere until I finished my training. Ever since then I have been on the base spending my time in the shooting range alongside Gekko and Neon, who quickly became my best friend among the Agents. Guess I got one good thing out of that whole shit show.

"I'll talk to Brimstone." I said, already making up my mind. Wingman who was standing in-between us, put his tiny limp on my leg and let out a series of sad chirps making my heart clench in pain. Gosh I was going to miss this adorable guy. Neon and Gekko too, heck even Yoru who was a pain in the ass from day one.

"Y/n please, think about this." Gekko begged, his eyes glossy from the unshed tears. I chuckled halfheartedly at my friend and put a hand over the one he still had on my shoulder.

"I have."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:

After my talk with Brimstone I made my way to my room and started to pack up my things. The older man wasn't pleased with my decision and tried to persevere me to stay, heck he even involved Sage in it knowing how much respect I held for the women. But I wasn't about to drag everyone down with my poor skills. They had Omen, Sova and Cypher to gather all the information they needed.

A knock on my door stopped me in my tracks. Narrowing my brows I sighed and decided to ignore it in favor of putting my things in my duffle bag. Another knock, this time a louder and more aggressive one.

"I don't want to talk, leave me alone Gekko!" I yelled hoping it would be enough. After all who else would it be? Neon didn't know about me leaving yet, and both Sage and Brimstone respected my choices enough to leave me alone for now.

"It's not Gekko." my eyes widened in surprise upon hearing the deep voice of Iso.

The Chinese hit man quickly became my favorite person around HQ, even if we didn't spend nearly enough time together, I still found myself harboring a crush on him. What was he doing outside my door?

I walked over to it and punched in the code to open them, coming face to chest with the handsome man. My eyes widened upon seeing the intensity in his lilac-colored orbs. They seemed to be glowing.

"I heard you were leaving." he stated, no greetings or how are you's. Just straight to the point.

"I.. I am yes." stuttering I gasped when he pushed me in the room and closed the door behind him.

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'?" I blinked in confusion.

"Why are you leaving? Give me a one good reason." he wasn't making any sense to me. Why was he suddenly so interested in me leaving the place? We spoke maybe a total of five times during my stay here. But I had to admit, it did make my heart do summer sluts inside my ribcage. Did he care?

"I suck at shooting, that's why." I stated simply, observing his face for any kind of reaction. All I got was him clenching his jaw and mumbling something in Chinese.

"Is that all?" he asked, making me narrow my own eyes at him.

"Excuse me?"

"That is not a valid reason to leave." he said in anger, taking a step closer. I never realized how big he was until now, holy shit! And he was mad at me to! (For some reason) Was this the way I was going to die?

"What's it to you?' I challenged him with a hiss.

"You. Me. Shooting Range tomorrow at noon. I will train you personally from now on." I could myself going pale. He wanted to train me? Personally? Yes please, but also no fucking way. I wasn't about to make a fool out of myself in front of my crush.

"No way. I'm leaving first thing in the morning." shaking my head I missed the moment he got closer, until I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face. It smelled faintly of cinnamon.

"I am not asking you, I'm telling you Tián tián." he leaned his head even closer, so close in fact I could make specks of dark purple in his eyes. "Listen to me. Let's make a deal. If you stay, I will make it so you'll be one of the best shooters in the entire team. Give me three months." I blinked at the sudden change of attitude. He was very confident in what he was saying that much I could tell.

"And if I don't become the best shooter?" I whispered, too scared to speak any louder than that. He was still very close to me, so when he smirked upon hearing my Question I about fainted then and there.

"Then I will let you go."

"You will let me go? Aren't you getting ahead of yourself, big guy?"

"Let me put it this way. If at any point of the three months you'll run away, I will personally hunt you down and drag you back. Do you understand?"

Okay, what the fuck was going on right now? Where was the sweet and shy guy who stuck to the side lines and didn't interact with others? Was he swapped during one of the missions? Did he hit his head or something? I blinked up at the older male, trying to understand what was being said to me.

"Okay. But what if you win the bet? What do you want in return?" I asked, my voice curious to hear his reason.

"You'll see." he stood up straight, putting more distance between us and making my heart calm down a bit. "I'll see you tomorrow." he winked and left both my room and me in a state of ruin.

[cornfieldsrambles]

I saw your explanation about lords in black and I have a question: tgwdlm the main lord in black is pokey, in black friday it is wiggly, and in npmd, who would it be?

oh god that post is going to haunt me forever (joke)

well, NPMD isn't really that simple I don't think. It's all of them. All five Lords in Black. And I think that makes sense.

Let me back up and explain. So NPMD happened after both Nightmare Times had been released. Obviously NPMD had been "in the works" before then, but for the actual finished show, I think Starkid assumed that a substantial amount of the people watching would've seen Nightmare Time. So I reckon they wanted to give something new to those people, while also not excluding people who hadn't watched it. That's just my assumption, though.

Not every Nightmare Time story is directly related to the Lords in Black.* About half the episodes have a bit more of a 'monster of the week' vibe. Hatchetfield Ape-Man, Forever and Always, Perky’s Buds and Killer Track are some examples. Generally, the pattern goes: a monster of the week, then a Lord in Black, then a monster of the week, then a Lord in Black.**

So when NPMD rolled around and (again, this is kind of me speculating) Starkid wanted to give something new/rewarding to those who watched Nightmare Time, while accommodating those who didn't, so they decided to do both. A particularly memorable and exciting monster-of-the-week is the main event, and we also get to see the Lords. Hatchetfield lore is referenced but you don't need to know much about it, and the stuff you do need to know is communicated through what the characters learn. The Waylons were in a cult and had their weird book which they used to worship Wiggly and co., and now they're dead and their house is cursed or something. Got it.

The other thing about Nightmare Time is... we've already seen each Lord in action. Heck, including TGWDLM we've seen Pokey twice. So what's better than one Lord in Black? FIVE LORDS IN BLACK!!!!!

So having not just Wiggly, but ALL of the Lords - with brand new Tumblr sexyman forms to boot - and showing them in a new and interesting role of pretty much the Deus Ex Machina of the show (this is hands-down the most helpful they've ever been) is something that feels very new and very rewarding to NMT watchers. Like "Oh my god! I know those guys! But it's all of them! This rules!"***

But also, showing Wiggly again gives the non-NMT watchers something to latch onto. Showing his brothers is in itself the new exciting thing, like "Oh my god, it's Wiggly! Wait - there's more of him? What the hell?!" At its core, their purpose in the plot is simple and comprehensible. It's deal-with-the-devil plotline, it's not rocket science. That, and showing all the Lords and dropping crumbs of lore could also get non-NMT watchers excited and interested, and would hopefully entice them to watch Nightmare Time. (Which I am once again encouraging you to do! There's so much you're missing out on!)

So TL;DR - My guess is that Starkid wanted the show to be rewarding to Nightmare Time watchers, and accessible to non-NMT watchers. They did this by combining the two main Nightmare Time episode formats (monster of the week and Lords in Black) in a way that felt new and exciting, wasn't too lore heavy to confuse non-NMTs, but was just lore-y enough to get them interested and feeling rewarding for NMT watchers who already knew about this stuff. So that's why they used all five Lords.

Wow I did not mean for this to turn out so long, I am sorry lol

*If you want to be pedantic, you could say everything/most things in Hatchetfield lead back to things like the Witchwood or the Starry Children or whatever, which arguably lead back to the Lords, but what I mean is not every Nightmare Time is about one or more Lord in Black directly making a mess. The 'monster of the week' things I mentioned are all related to stuff that happened years and years ago, so they don't count as much.

**Okay, NMT2 doesn't really stick to this formula as cleanly, but that doesn't really matter for my point.

***This was pretty much my reaction, after a lot of incoherent excited yelling lmao

[maplerosekisses]

I was reading your tags on that post and WHAT THE HECK, YOU WERE AT DASHCON??

pls tell me everything

Lol, you're probably going to be disappointed, I'm afraid. I don't have the juicy stories for you.

Dashcon is one of my favorite memories and one of the best convention experiences of my life. Here's a post I made about it at the time.

I was around for the Friday night donation thing but I stayed outside the room with my friend Jenn, standing there in our dresses because that was supposed to be the formal dance, wondering what we should do, and eventually going to check that our hotel room was guaranteed regardless. I don't know what was said inside, because we both felt that going in wasn't a good idea.

I was also in the panel room waiting for Nightvale for over an hour while the cast was arguing with staff about payment, which was not properly explained to us when the staff member finally told us that the show was cancelled.

Those were disasters, but I've had more annoying-in-the-moment experiences at my own local con (not bigger actual administrative disasters, just things that were more frustrating to me as an attendee)

I don't know anything about the person who peed in the ball pit but I do know a lot of the rumors about panel topics and content were lies. I know some invited guests had bad experiences with travel compensation and some people only bought a badge (an expensive badge) for the Night Vale show and were left with nothing. I also remember on Sunday morning I was approached by a very sweet Cecil cosplayer who liked my wtnv shirt and wanted to let me know they were putting together a fan panel to replace what was supposed to be a cast q&a shortly. I didn't attend because there was another panel I wanted to go to, but I kind of wish I had.

I got to meet up with one of the best friends I had made on Tumblr and we had the cutest emotional airport meeting hug. I was first introduced to @my-graceless-heart during a panel hosted by the same friend and I would not have survived the fall of 2015 without them. I have one of their books on my shelf now, and on my purse at this moment I have a pin that a con buddy gifted me when I lost my favorite Sam Wilson pin on Sunday of the con. I bought more art at Dashcon than I had at any previous conventions combined.

The panels I remember most vividly happened later in the evening, and the lighting in the panel rooms wasn't great, so those memories are soft and almost cozy. There actually weren't that many people at dashcon, so the panel rooms weren't overfull and conversations were easy to participate in. Every panel I attended was fun — I've never had that experience at another con.

My local convention, which I do love, is technically an anime convention. And every year (I haven't attended since 2019) I encountered people I find extremely uncomfortable to interact with, who I might even feel unsafe with in a less public place. Every person I talked to at Dashcon was kind and fun and I felt at home around them.

Dashcon had some of the worst administration of any fan convention, probably ever, and a lot of people had terrible experiences that I don't want to invalidate. But it also had some of the best panels, best artists to buy from, and best attendee behavior of any convention I've ever been to. Those memories are precious to me and if I had a choice to go back and do it differently, I would not change into my prom dress on Friday night, I would stay out of the dashcon tag on my phone, and I would guard that Sam Wilson button with my life, but I would absolutely choose to do the rest all over again.

[from-izzy]

you: my favourite scene | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem reader/original female character​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers! non-idol au! (high) school au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, bit (?) of angst, ​sunwoo is super loving, understanding and patient, hurt and comfort » WORD COUNT: ​5562 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~20 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): heavy mentions of food, disordered eating, brief mentions of abandonment, topics on mental illness (implied depression and anxiety)

this was my first story i ever uploaded on tumblr! this gained 88 notes (8 rbs, 80 likes) and that number is still so massive to me. i remember seeing my very first like notification and i was so surprised that it happened within around 12 hours of when i first uploaded it (pretty sure it was midnight tho so i couldn't be as chaotic as i would have really been)

but here it is again!

def better grammar and punctuation (i seriously dk how i let those mistakes passed when i first uploaded it). i did do some editing, replacing dialogue/thoughts to narrative sentences because i didn't want to necessarily post a story that i wasn't proud of (and also because i wanted to keep my stories similar to the original ones before so...yeah).

please remember that all your struggles are valid and i sincerely hope that the world around you is a place full of love, hope and kindness. never feel inferior with asking for help. i believe that asking for help is one of the bravest things ever.

When your roommate texted Sunwoo as a final choice, the boy didn’t hesitate to rush over despite it being extremely early in the morning. He didn’t spare his friends a response when he logged out of the game and ended the call, sprinting over in his pyjamas and a random jacket from his hanger. He probably woke his sister up but he didn't care about the consequences at the moment.

About a year ago at the classroom, Sunwoo walked back to get his wallet, cursing to himself as he had to line up once more at the back of the line and his stomach was not having it after skipping dinner the night before. He caught your friends sighing and was incredibly frustrated at you for not taking care of your health. Sunwoo knew the situation was serious and was about to leave, holding in his anger until after school, not wanting to disturb Choi Jiyeon, his seatmate and new friend. His worries took over when her cries were louder and he approached the scene.

They were pretty much strangers at this point. School had only started for a month and they only got to know each other then. Sunwoo didn't know what took over him to approach the same group back then.

Jiyeon didn’t expect the sudden appearance of the boy, her eyes crying as she kept on denying her friend’s request to go eat something. Jiyeon loves her friends but unfortunately, they are not too understanding of her situation. So when she craned her head up to silently plead at Sunwoo through her tearful eyes, he made up an excuse as they both left the classroom. That day Jiyeon told him about her struggles and Sunwoo remembered promising to himself that he would research and stay by her side; as a seatmate.

But now the following year, Jiyeon's roommate opened the door for Sunwoo, smiling weakly as she gave an acknowledgment nod to the guest. He knocks on the familiar bedroom door before introducing himself and entering the room.

"Heard from a little birdie that you haven't eaten in a while." This situation isn't new for either of them; heck Sunwoo has seen her tearful eyes, full of tears so many times, yet it still breaks his heart to pieces whenever he gets the news from her close friends or roommates that she hasn't been eating for the past couple of days.

The first time it happened again after the day in the classroom, Sunwoo panicked and had a tunnel view to just get food in her stomach, believing that was the most important thing. He didn’t expect the next episode to occur so early and he has not researched the topic very well at that point. But as time went on, Sunwoo learnt certain signals from her, what she's comfortable with as well as to just provide her comfort in the hard time. 

When Sunwoo opens the door to the bedroom, he sees the fully covered figure under the blanket, gulping his sadness down. It’s the scene that he hates the most: You just lying down, lifelessly in bed, crying and fighting alone. You would never call him no matter how much he’s offered and it made him worry more as time passed. "Jiyeon…it's Sunwoo."

Sunwoo could see that she heard him, shuffling slightly as a reaction, "Sunwoo?" she whispered too gently for him to hear. Unlike his previous visits where she would make the effort to make eye contact with him, Jiyeon kept herself hidden as the past month, she has established her own feelings towards her friend.

Sunwoo nods even though Jiyeon can't see it. The bed sank a bit as he sat on its edge, "Is there anything that you were maybe wanting for the past few days?"

"I don't know…"

Sunwoo's heart clenches at how dry and lifeless her voice is. Before he knew it himself, Sunwoo slowly pulled down the blanket much to Jiyeon's surprise and she sat up to try and get the big fabric over again when Sunwoo pulled her weak body into a hug instead.

"You're so cold…" Sunwoo held onto Jiyeon tighter than ever, arms around her shoulders, resting his face on the crook of her neck.

Jiyeon's breath hitches at his warm breath against such an intimate place, "S-Sunwoo…" that only led him to tighten his grip on her upper body even more.

"Please let me get something for you…" He couldn’t bear seeing her suffering alone like this.

Jiyeon thought long and hard about something that she is able to put into her mouth easily, also thinking about her ability to swallow the food without feeling guilt, "I…guess I want some meat mixed with vegetables…like the ones inside of dumplings…but I don't want the dumpling skins…"

Sunwoo's face visibly lit up at the mention of the food she wanted, nodding excitedly at the request. He pulls away, smiling at Jiyeon and repeats her order once again, "Ok! I'll be back! Just stay here and I'll be rig---"

"No wait, don't go!" Before Sunwoo could fully let go of her hand that he had excitedly shaken earlier on, Jiyeon clasps her tiny hands on one of his hands, pulling him back down to the bed, "I don't want to be alone…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine." Sunwoo's expression softens again when Jiyeon looks up at him desperately and fearfully. With a soft act of comfort, he uses his other free warm hand to caress her cold cheek, "If you want me to stay, I can order delivery. Is that a better plan?"

Jiyeon nods, tears flooding her eyes at the way Sunwoo was so delicate about the whole situation. She slowly crawls over to the edge of the bed with the blanket rolled up on her hands, going closer next to Sunwoo.

The boy just observes her movements until she sits next to him, taking note of her shivering figure and pale face. Carefully taking the material from her hands, Sunwoo stands up and wraps the fabric around her shoulders, tucking the edges in to stop warmth from escaping.

To Sunwoo, Jiyeon looked like an extra adorable burrito and he couldn't help but blush profusely at the endearing sight. He bends down from his standing position, tucking stray hairs behind her ears, "Do you want me to make the call here or outside?"

"Here…" one of her hands escaped from the warm environment, "could you…hold my hand?"

"Of course, I will."

Sunwoo kept his word, giving reassuring squeezes and thumb brushes on her hand during the whole call. He tried his best to keep the food names short and concise, not wanting Jiyeon to be stressed by the whole situation. When the phone hung up, Sunwoo sat down comfortably on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand, "It'll be here soon."

A comfortable silence envelops them both as they stare into each other's eyes attentively. If she didn't read him wrong, Jiyeon could see sparks of life and happiness in him, as well as comfort and warmth in his eyes. The sight made her heart beat faster though she also worried that her crush on Sunwoo made her delusional about something that wasn't there in the first place.

When Jiyeon downcasted her gaze, she missed the way Sunwoo slightly frowned as he pouted a little, "I'm sorry…" She couldn’t finish her sentence verbally but what she wanted to really say was: sorry for wasting your time and money on me when you could be using it for other things. Why couldn’t she say it? It’s not as if Sunwoo would look down on her in any way. He would’ve done so ages ago if that was the case.

But no.

Sunwoo stayed by her with those gorgeous, patient gaze and that smooth, comforting voice. That did scare her because she fell in love with Sunwoo even more and giving her heart to someone else, is a big gamble. With that, she stayed quiet because she had a feeling that if she ever said anything, he would smile awkwardly, tap her shoulder timidly and walk away without another doubt.

"For what?" Sunwoo didn't get an answer when he realised that Jiyeon started crying, her mind filling up with horrible thoughts and ideas, "Jiyeon." He jumps up from his cross-legged position, crashing his body to hers once again, "I have no idea what you're apologising for but you haven't done anything wrong, so don't apologise."

"Sunwoo…I--" She struggled heavily to form any sentence in her head, let alone in real life. Sunwoo hushed her, cradling her face between his palms, "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Sunwoo whispers back. Even if his tone was stable, his heart started beating fast at the possibilities behind her words. The words would have ranged from the smallest to the biggest of things and Sunwoo didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibilities. While Jiyeon only shakes her head, not answering his question explicitly, he just nods, opting to give her physical comfort like before, "I'm just going to get the food alright? It should be outside the door."

Jiyeon couldn't answer, feeling numb and tired as the tears just kept flowing down. Sunwoo himself was on the verge of tears. He recalls the day when he was late to the first day of last year when the new student became his seatmate for the school year. Sunwoo knew the moment she flashed her smile that his heart would be in deep trouble yet, he still introduced himself with an entrancing smile anyway.

"I'm not going to leave you alone." The said girl widened her eyes when she heard the slight voice crack in his sentence, seeing how tears pooled in his eyes, "I promise you that I won't. I'll be right back."

"Please come back soon." With shaky hands, Jiyeon couldn't help but cradle Sunwoo's cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb delicately.

"Close your eyes and count to forty-five. I'll be back in front of you when you open your eyes." With a nod and her voice starting, Sunwoo dashes for the door before relocating to the kitchen, washing his hands and peeling off the dumpling skins, putting them aside for him to eat later on. Putting the filling back into the container, he sits down on the floor again whilst catching his breath and when Jiyeon opens her eyes, he's surely there with a comforting smile.

Jiyeon wrapped her arms around her body tighter when Sunwoo smiled warmly at her, "You're actually back…" A lone tear fell off as she worried herself over and over again, "You came back…" 

But the thing is, Sunwoo has always come back over and over and over again.

Sunwoo frowns at the comment, feeling his heart clench at the way you were most definitely worn out from your fight. Unlike previous days when she would smile back and thank him, it seemed like there was something definitely on her mind today, "You know I'll always come back for you right?"

"Yeah…" though it felt unsure. Sunwoo wasn't sure what made her so hesitant but he couldn't help the hurt to flash against his eyes as he nodded at her words dejectedly, "I'm going to give the container to you, alright? As always, I'll sit behind you, back to back and just wait for you, okay?"

Her gut swirls with anxiety and suddenly the white, somewhat translucent takeaway container didn’t seem scary to her anymore. But the boy that held onto it while thoughtfully reciting the plan that they have always adhered to? That made her look away.

"Sunwoo, I think you should go this time…" The fear took over her and she blurted the sentence before she even knew it. All the thoughts that freely swarmed in her head suddenly collided against each other and Jiyeon bought her blanket to cover the lower part of her face.

"W-What?" With no clear answer from the girl, Sunwoo's frown deepens and he gulps in nervousness at her words, "How about if I wait outside? Hm? Is that a better plan?"

"O-Outside…?" She recalls a random day after school when they were both playing basketball together.

"Yah Kim Sunwoo!" Jiyeon fell into a fit of giggles when Sunwoo engulfed her back to his chest with his arms around her waist tight, swaying her around to keep her away from the ball, "This is foul play!"

"Whatever you say!" Sunwoo kept her in his hands for a little more, smiling brightly as the basketball bounced further away from them. When their laughs die down (though their smiles haven't), he turns Jiyeon around to face him. He grins, the corner of his lips stretching widely to the sides.

Jiyeon couldn't do the same however, the comments from her friends that she's falling in love with Sunwoo filled her head. She didn’t really know why she kept on brushing it off. Jiyeon always believed that love would come and she would always tell herself to accept the feeling. But when reality strikes, it feels like all the pep talks and preparation vanished without a trace. Nervously with wide eyes, she looked up at the mischievous boy who only looked at her with a fond smile, "Sunwoo." she whispered to him.

"Hm?" For the first time in a while, he lets one of his arms around your waist go, only for it to fix your hair up a little bit, waiting for your response. Sunwoo lets himself bask in the feeling of being close to Jiyeon, loving how physically close they could be without feeling awkward; or at least that’s how it felt to him. Undeniably, Sunwoo knows he has fallen in love with the teenage girl and though the feeling scared him, he allows himself to let go of his fears at least just this once.

"If, just if, one day I told you that I can't hang around you anymore,” Jiyeon finally looks up at his slowly concerned gaze, “what would you do?"

"What would I do?" Sunwoo crashes his eyebrows together in confusion, "Well, I mean I don't need to think about this because it'll never happen though! I'm too awesome for that!" He finishes with his widest, signature grin. 

Jiyeon laughs at the very Sunwoo-like response before continuing, "Just an ‘if’…you never know what could happen in the future."

"Well," Sunwoo didn't even want to think about it; a day where you would push him away indefinitely. He’s definitely thought about it, no doubt. Most of the situation was about how he would confess and it would ruin this friendship that he could never dream of letting go, "it'll depend on the situation but I would wait for you. If it's just during that certain time when you need immediate space, then I would wait outside for you or something. But if it's long term," His hand that was playing with your hair stops, cupping your cheek gently as he looks longingly into your eyes. 

Sunwoo knew at that point that he was indeed very much in love with Choi Jiyeon. Days of questioning have finally brought him this realisation and he smiled radiantly with the thought in his head. Jiyeon gives a confused frown but slowly starts to relax it to a smile when Sunwoo’s thumb caresses your blushed cheek softly. 

Sunwoo enjoyed this moment where it felt like you were the only ones in the world, all the surrounding noises blurred out from your attention. His thumb that rested on your cheek unknowingly moved back and forth as you enjoyed the soothing act.

Sunwoo's action made the world around Jiyeon stop momentarily. With that beautiful, deep, loving gaze, she waited, "If it's long term?"

He sighs out, "Look, I don't even want to think about the long term. But I know, and I know for sure, that I'll wait for you."

"You…will?" Jiyeon breathlessly confirms as Sunwoo nods with a small tiny smile and half-lidded eyes.

"I will. I’ll always wait for you. So don’t worry yourself over such a thought."

"Promise?" Just like little children, Jiyeon holds up her pinky between their faces, waiting for Sunwoo to link them together. 

He chuckles before sealing his words with the old ritual, "Promise."

Jiyeon squirmed at the promise that she practically forced him to make. Yet Sunwoo still kneeled before her with his hands under her smaller fingers and hands. His hands became colder by the second as his grip became just a tiny bit tighter, hopeful for a positive response.

Your response, however, cut his heart like a knife, "I think…you should just go home, Sunwoo…" 

The last class before lunchtime commences with the students waiting and hustling about the room, waiting for the teacher. Jiyeon’s seatmate talked to her friends from the row in front, telling her the menu her mother packed for lunch, and her friend responded with something similar. 

The discomfort grew too familiar for her and Jiyeon wanted nothing but for the seat to swallow her, hoping that something would protect her from hearing such words about the one thing she couldn’t stand the most at the moment. Or she wished that she could run away like she did instantly when morning break started. When the strict teacher finally came, she couldn’t be any happier at how his booming voice made the whole class quiet instantly and Jiyeon gulped down harshly as a thankful tear came out from her.

In the opposite classroom, Sunwoo clenches his phone underneath his table as his bank account balance is shown once more. He stares at the higher number, furrowing his eyebrows at the transaction made into his account. Further information shows that Jiyeon was the one who did the act and he scoffs in confusion and dumbfoundedness, “What the hell is she doing?” 

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: where she would go when she was happy, when she was sad or when she was struggling. But the earlier morning break proved him otherwise as he ran practically through the whole school to find you, both for the relief of seeing you as well as to ask what was in your mind the other night when you said those hurtful words to him. 

Looking to his left, where he could see the girl on the other side through the classroom windows, he sees the tired look on her face and that signature lip bite that she always does when she's in a hard time. The class was about to end in three minutes and Sunwoo was going crazy about how impatient he was to run into the other room. He made sure his headphones were connected to his phone, turning up the volume a little bit to hear that it was connected properly without being caught by the teacher in the act.

When class is dismissed, he bumps and squishes through people from both classes to a desk in the middle of the class. Girls were entranced with his presence and the boys were greeting the social boy. However, Sunwoo had a really small tunnel vision, only running to a downcasted figure that when approached closer, was just her trying to hold in the cries with her hands on her ears to block out the noises.

Sunwoo comes around to the side of the desk, his phone and the neck of his headphones in one hand. Amongst the still bustling area, he’s surprised at how much he can hear Jiyeon's shaking even though it actually was really quiet. That made him realise how tense and angry his facial expression would’ve been, his heart softening when he heard her struggles.

Carefully, Sunwoo stood behind Jiyeon, picked a random song and tucked it away in his pocket. His left-hand wraps around her tense wrist softly, lowering it down to her lap, whispering words of comfort before engulfing her left ear with his headphones. He did the same with the right ear afterwards, carefully observing how her body slowly relaxes at the tune.

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: in this situation, he could relax that he actually did. 

He waits patiently for her to come back to the present, sitting down on the table directly behind hers as he watches the song change from his phone screen for the next fifteen minutes. Sunwoo feels the pain once again: the pain that he couldn’t take away as he could do nothing but wait for her to acknowledge his presence. Upon last night’s events, Sunwoo was contemplating just leaving his phone on her desk and walking away as he didn’t know how glad she would be with him near her. The thought doubled the pain in Sunwoo’s heart and he decided to click the phone to sleep. Before he could put it on Jiyeon’s desk, however, her body visibly relaxed and Sunwoo widened his eyes and froze, knowing that she’s fully calmed down now. 

Jiyeon’s crying eventually ceases, opening her eyes with a final sniff. Usually, when she did let the light back into her eyes, Sunwoo would be in front of her, flashing that beautiful smile of his that she had come to fall in love with. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t see the usual scene. Her hands come up to both sides of the headphones, pulling them down to rest the headband on her neck shakily. She knew all too well that even when she was crying with her eyes tightly shut, it was Kim Sunwoo. 

It was Kim Sunwoo that came to her rescue and made her feel safe once again.

It was Kim Sunwoo who waited for her to calm down when everyone knew how much he cherished his break time and food.

It was Kim Sunwoo who made her fall in love all over with him once again. 

Jiyeon just stared down at her undecorated nails, pretending to find something interesting about it. In reality, she was just biting her lips, shutting her eyes back and forth in an internal battle to look back at the figure behind her. Her shoulders slumped unconsciously as she recalled her passive actions to Sunwoo the day before, basically kicking him out of her apartment. Jiyeon mulled over her actions the whole night, knowing well that it was so unfair that she pushed Sunwoo out when he most probably rushed over to help.

“Thank you.” Jiyeon says clearly to the person behind her. Sunwoo heard her gratitude clearly, nodding softly still with an incomprehensible face as he just looked at his shoes below him. Noting no response from him, Jiyeon twists her upper body back to see the dejected Sunwoo. Her heart clenches at how he didn’t make the effort to even look up, wishing even more now that he would at least flash her a smile. But that is too much to ask after what happened and Jiyeon knew that, “Sunwoo, I---”

“Why did you send me money?” His tone wasn’t welcoming at all, icy and cold as if he hated the girl. The students that were in the classroom were no more when they heard his tone, quietly packing up and walking away, not wanting to get involved in the drama; though of course, they’ll talk about it outside the classroom.

“I-I just…” Jiyeon stammers, gulping her nerves down. She notices how Sunwoo clenched his fists. The one that held his hand was clenching so hard that his phone was waiting for him to confirm if he wanted to shut the device down, “For delivery last night…”

“You’ve never paid me back. Why now?”

“O-Oh..I can transfer more. I’m sorr---”

Sunwoo scoffs, his whole face grimacing in anger, “That’s not what I meant.” His fiery orbs finally met down with Jiyeon’s red ones, her tears still escaping here and there. All Sunwoo wanted to do at the moment was wipe Jiyeon’s remaining tears, cupping her cheek and pulling her warmth to him. But not now. It’s not the right time, “Jiyeon, I don’t understand why you pushed me away. Of course, if you need space that’s fine. I would always give it to you if you need it, without a doubt or question. In fact, if you need it right now then I’ll leave. But that’s not the only thing you did. You transferred me money and you think that I’m asking for you to pay after all those times?” He stopped for a second, a million sentences running in his head that he rehearsed last night alone in the confused darkness.

“I just…haven’t been able to pay it back.” Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say. She adjusted her position, turning her body so that the left side of her body was facing him, her foot hitting the rear chair leg. Sunwoo didn’t miss how her small fists were now side by side together on her thighs as she stuttered to find some words, “S-So…yeah.”

“Yeah?” After a short time to finally breathe after his long rant, Sunwoo managed to ground himself back, his emotions no longer heated. But now, his heart weighed heavily at everything between him and Jiyeon, “Don’t pay me back.” Sunwoo’s voice wavered, turning his head to the side, trying to control his emotional state, “I did all those things because I care for you, Jiyeon. I care about you so much that it physically hurts me when you’re crying alone, fighting alone like that. You never let anyone in and although I want to say that ‘it’s alright’, I also want to say that it’s not. You have me. Jiyeon, you have me. But you just pushed me away.” 

But it’s hard, isn’t it? To show the side of yourself to someone that you desperately try to hide. It becomes even harder when you try to hide it from someone you like, “I think…” Jiyeon whimpers at the words she’s about to say, contemplating to say it. Is she really going to push him away like this? Will she ever be able to let go of the fact that Sunwoo won’t be her friend anymore? Will she be able to let go of Kim Sunwoo in general? Her heart beats for Sunwoo but her mind is telling her that with all the love Sunwoo receives, why would he ever pick her?

Sunwoo raises himself off the table with the intention of walking away and giving Jiyeon some space. Looking down at the top of Jiyeon’s head, he couldn’t help but blurt out a bit of his feelings, “You don’t know this but I’ve never had a crush on someone before.”

The sudden new topic made Jiyeon lift her head up to face Sunwoo. Unexpectedly to her, Sunwoo was already looking down at her with absolute adoration when he said his words. Jiyeon gasps lightly when Sunwoo starts to lightly tear up, “S-Sunwoo.” Forgetting her earlier thoughts, her body reacted first, standing up to be in front of him, “Hey…why are you crying?” Testing the waters very carefully, Jiyeon slowly raises the back of one of her hands to wipe his cheek.

Sunwoo, of course, lets her do so. He takes notice of her warm hands that completely contrasted yesterday, feeling comforted as he lets out a relieving breath and a small chuckle. Both of her hands were resting on Sunwoo’s cheek so gently, with her thumb wiping motion on his cheek, that he felt like his whole body was being wrapped comfortably by her. He just kept on staring at Jiyeon’s worried expression and the way her lips were throwing out words of comfort, “How am I supposed to ever walk away from you when I’m so in love with you?”

Jiyeon flinches at the sudden confession and before she could back away, Sunwoo quickly places his palms over hers back to his cheeks firmly. His eyes look weak due to his own tiredness from not being able to sleep soundly yet full of strong love for the woman in front of him, “W-What did you just say?”

Exhaling softly at the way Jiyeon looks so unsure, Sunwoo repeats his main point differently, “I’m confessing my feelings for you.” Her once confused parted lips, found each other once again as she searched Sunwoo’s eyes and all over his face for any lies, “I’m not playing with you, Choi Jiyeon. I can see the reluctance in your face.”

“Sunwoo, you have girls lining up for you,” Jiyeon whispers to him, her tone convincing him that something is wrong. “Waiting for you. Girls who are so much easier to be with. Girls that won’t push you away. Girls that won’t make you run out of the house at midnight. Girls that are…not a burden.” In denial, Jiyeon shakes her head, “You don’t lik---”

“Is that what you think you are to me?” Sunwoo counters her calmly, “A burden?”

“I’ve always been a burden all my life. Why do you think my parents left me?” Jiyeon lost all the strength in her arms, and the only thing holding her hands on Sunwoo’s cheek was all his effort, “My grandparents are loving but their lives would’ve been so much easier if I was nev---”

“Mine wouldn’t,” Sunwoo interjected. Whatever it was that she was about to say, it was something to put down her self-worth and he couldn’t handle such things coming out of her. Lowering both of their linked hands, Sunwoo intertwines Jiyeon’s hands with his, “You don’t know how much energy you give me every day. How much motivation you give me throughout the day. How loved and cared for you make me feel.” He shrugs, ignoring the loud beating of his heart, “But now I guess I’m finally telling you.”

The apprehension in Jiyeon’s eyes made Sunwoo comfortingly smile, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. Just like what Jiyeon did towards him earlier, he lets go of one of her hands to rub his thumb on her cheek. It was silent as they were comforting and seemingly communicating with each other through their loving gaze at each other. And so when Jiyeon lets out a small smile, Sunwoo beams brighter than ever, “I like you, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Then date me. Date me and let me love you back.”

Jiyeon blushes at the straightforward statement. Sunwoo flutters his eyes shut as she brushes the hair away from his face, “You won’t regret this?” she breathes the question softly.

Sunwoo shook his head, gently placing his forehead on Jiyeon’s, “Not if you won’t.” He responded in a similar manner. 

“Sunwoo.” Jiyeon turns to her side and glares at her boyfriend who has been staring at her for the last three minutes. Not only did it distract her studies but the way that he looked at her so mesmerisingly made it hard for her to even breathe at this rate, “Stop looking at me.”

Sunwoo kept an innocent smile, pushing his face further forward, pressing a quick peck on her lips, “Why?” He playfully asks.

“You said you were hungry! Go get some food!” Jiyeon pushes Sunwoo away by the shoulder, the male dramatically pushing himself back, “Don’t be dramatic!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go.” Sunwoo drags out the last syllable in the sentence, frowning and slumping on his chair a little bit before standing up with his phone, “Do you…want anything?” Jiyeon could only smile softly as usual, stopping her vigorous typing on her computer at his question.

It’s been more than three years since their relationship started and Sunwoo has been so patient in her journey that every single time he carefully asks the question, Jiyeon could feel her heart melt and fall in love with the boy more and more each time, “Give me a kiss before you go.” She puckered her lips to him, tilting her head up.

Blushing furiously at the unexpected request, Sunwoo buffered before leaning down to hug his lips with her familiar ones. His hand was on Jiyeon’s nape, softly holding her head in this intimate moment. Jiyeon melts even further with his attentive actions, smiling widely in the kiss. Before completely pulling his hand away, Sunwoo brushes her hair out from her forehead to press another kiss. Leaning away to face each other with rosy-tinted cheeks, he asks once again, “Anything else?”

“Make sure you have a safe trip there and back.” Jiyeon presses a kiss on Sunwoo’s cheek before ushering him to go. But he didn’t do anything as he just kept on staring at his girlfriend who reflected the same glimmering look of love in her eyes towards him. Sunwoo’s hand, which still didn’t leave her nape, prevented her from turning away, “ Kim Sunwoo, stop looking at me! I'm not that nice to look at…"

It wasn’t Sunwoo’s plan to stare at Jiyeon for that long. He’s just naturally attracted and so in love with her that he didn’t realise that she was the only thing that he would search for in a whole hall of people, with different colours and different noises. Choi Jiyeon finally let her walls down as they overcame life’s challenges together hand in hand. Kim Sunwoo couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. "You will always be my favourite scene to look at."

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

[a1brix]

A "What If Uzi Died Instead of Nori" Fanfiction

This a first final draft of the opening scene of a new fanfic to post on AO3. I don't expect this to garner much attention in tumblr, but if you see this, please give comments and critiques! I feel like the ending was a little bit weak, and I have no beta readers...

---

"Mom! Check this out!"

Nori slowly turned from her desk to see Uzi hopping around proudly, holding a gun-looking thing in her hands. Nori sighed internally. That thing was the likely culprit to Nori's charge deprivation; That loud welding noise last night was constantly pulling her off sleep mode. And it was probably a new invention of Uzi's that Nori most definitely doesn't approve of...

She shook it off and smiled. If it would make her daughter happy, then she would entertain the idea of what kind of weapon her little girl had come up with this time.

"What have you got there?"

"My latest weapon!" Uzi began to wave the gun around, pretending like it was some sort of sword. 

“This cool-as-heck railgun!”

Nori stifled a yelp as the barrel whizzed past her head several times. She kept her smile though. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to stop sharing these things with her. 

She loved seeing Uzi be with her…

But she was still quite uneasy about it! It's not every day your child makes something this... dangerous. Her eyes twitched a little when the barrel approached her again. Nori noted to herself to let Khan show Uzi some gun safety sometime soon, or at least how to keep the barrel pointed away from anyone.

Uzi smiled proudly back at her mom. "Pretty awesome, huh?"

"Sure, Uzi..." Nori reached forward, carefully pushing the barrel down so it wasn't pointed at her face. "Just... Please, try not to point that in anyone's direction, okay?"

Uzi stared blankly.

"Oh right... sorry, Mom." She said, tittering. "I forgot, heh heh..." Uzi set the railgun down on her desk carefully.

"Well... what do you think?"

Nori leaned forwards to inspect it a little. She didn't want to encourage the thought, but... "I can really tell how much thought you've put into making it a lightweight. The design itself is very sleek..." Nori did genuinely admire the craftsmanship. Khan really has been rubbing off on her daughter, hasn't he? She chuckled a little. 

"Although I am surprised you made it violet... and with stickers?"

Uzi crossed her arms and huffed. 

"Hey, I think it looks cooler that way! Don't ruin it for me!"

Nori shook her head, cupping a hand over her mouth and chuckling into her palm. "Well, I wasn't implying anything!"

"You're literally laughing at me!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!"

"So, what if I am?” Nori gave her daughter a playful smack. Uzi stumbled theatrically as a response, before retaliating with an onslaught of light jabs aimed at her mother. Nori held up her arms in defence, laughing softly.

“As your mom, it's my job to bully you for impractical aesthetics!"

"Bite me!" Uzi exclaimed, now giggling. "As your daughter, it's my job to make fun of you for being lame!”

Nori gasped in mock horror. "How dare you?!" She grabbed her daughter by the shoulders, and Uzi squirmed in response, still laughing. "That's it, you're grounded!"

"What?! No!" Uzi cried out, trying to worm out of her mother's grasp. "This is injustice! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Really? Did you do your homework?"

There was an awkward silence before Uzi’s eyes hollowed, displaying underlines.

"Ah! There it is!" Nori laughed, pointing a metal finger at the lines. "The proof I need!"

“Mom!! That’s cheating!”

Nori laughed again. Uzi was smart, but could never outwit her mom. Well, not yet, anyway. She awaits the day her little genius finally pulls one over on her… but in the meantime, Nori couldn't help but have a little fun with this.

"Yep, it's true. You are grounded. That's also for making me stay up all night with all those sounds, you little gremlin."

Uzi grunted. "In my defence, I was working on something awesome!"

Nori rolled her eyes, playfully pushing her daughter away. It was times like this Nori wished she had a popcorn bucket. These kinds of shenanigans with Uzi were more entertaining than old human movies… and the "definitely-not-pirated” anime Uzi always wanted her to watch? Speaking of, she should really introduce Uzi to some new stuff.

"Well, I hope it's worth giving your poor mother a sleepless night."

"Sorry... But hey, I promise it's good." Uzi picked up her railgun and smiled. "It's going to blast some murder drones' heads off."

Nori chuckled, but it lacked warmth. She still has to care for the safety of her daughter. Just imagining the thought of her little girl facing a murder drone made her—

"Don’t go, please...”

Those words came so suddenly. Too suddenly.

Nori’s eyes hollowed. Something was crawling up the back of Nori's processor. An awful feeling, weighing down on her entire being as she blanked out for a moment. She couldn’t let the cracks show through though, even if just a little bit. 

Her teeth clenched, and Nori swallowed hard. She forced that feeling down.

Uzi maintained her grin.

“Go where?" Uzi asked. "Oh…! Outside? I mean… Yeah. I'm definitely planning to take this bad boy outside once it is fully done, but—”

Nori flinched.

"I SAID DON'T GO THERE!"

There was a clattering sound that caused Nori to blink. Her eyes glanced down to see her hands grabbing onto Uzi’s wrists tightly, with the railgun now discarded on the floor.

A few moments passed before Nori looked up to see Uzi staring right at her.

For the first time in a while, fear was etched into her little girl’s face.

“...M-mom?”

Stop ruining everything.

Nori let go of her daughter's wrist immediately.

Uzi clutched her wrist, looking down at it while rubbing it gently.

No... She promised would not lose control again. She could not bear to hurt anyone again, especially not her own daughter. Uzi did not do anything wrong. Uzi was only being herself. 

And this was just supposed to be some fun teasing.

"Did you not like what I said…?" Uzi looked up, her eyes void of their usual cheerful light. Her tone of voice seemed too frightened to hide its waver, almost sounding like she was about to cry.

A painful static suddenly blared inside her. 

Nori stumbled back, grabbing her head.

A good mother wouldn't do this to their own child.

"Mom!"

Nori's optics widened as she saw her daughter scramble to take hold of her.

"Are you okay?!" Uzi asked.

Nori is okay. Nori will always be okay when Uzi is around.

"I... I... " Nori stammered, “I’m so sorry, Uzi.”

Nori hugged Uzi. Uzi did not reply, but Nori had her daughter with her. Nori wasn't alone. Everything was okay as long as Uzi was here. Nori wouldn't lose her, right? Uzi was her everything, her reason to live for, her ray of hope when everything turns dark. It would destroy her if she could never see those sweet purple eyes again.

In her presence, Uzi will always be safe.

A smile formed as Nori looked up to her daughter’s face again. 

Her visor was completely shattered on the right.

On the left, her remaining purple eyelight flickered weakly.

Everything will be okay…

"Uzi…" Nori smiled, “We can still fix this..."

She pushed the shattered glass away with her foot.

Nori was still okay…

Her eyelight darted around.

"M-mom… What is happening?"

Uzi was still there…

Nori held her tight. "I... I don't know, but we'll be okay."

Uzi's head fell forward, hitting her shoulder.

Uzi…

“Mom… Why…”

Uzi looked up at Nori, before her light flickered out.

Uzi... it still hurts.

"Why did you kill me, Nori?"

[checkoutmybookshelf]

We're Back To UCMH!

I have been waiting for this book for literal months, and I am SO HAPPY that it is finally here. I'd have read it in one day, except that I got 1 hour of sleep in two days, so I did actually crash before getting to finish Halle and Henry's story. It was worth it though, because watching the dynamics between a neurodivergent-coded love interest and a demi-coded love interest was absolutely fascinating. I had so much fun with Halle and Henry, and it was nice to have Nate, Stassi, Russ, and Aurora around a little too. Like, the "adopted by a gang of hockey-playing golden retrievers" vibe that I loved from Icebreaker was still here, but we also get how Henry and Halle navigate a deeply gregarious group that loves them. Let's talk Daydream.

Hey, so this is your SPOILER WARNING because I'm going to SPOIL THE HECK out of this book. You were warned, proceed with caution.

Soooooooo...the fact that Henry DIDN'T take a swing at Will because he was so worried about how Halle would feel about a) what her dickhead ex-boyfriend said and b) about Henry's response just makes Henry the bigger man in so many ways, and that was just deeply satisfying to me as a reader. That and Halle letting her mom HAVE it because her mom has been using Halle as a third parent in the household since Halle was a kid. Hannah Grace has a knack for making character arc climaxes immensely satisfying and avoiding cliches, and I really appreciate that. I also loved how Halle and Henry both get climaxes that work WITH their character arcs. Halle learns to say no and prioritize herself, and Henry gets to BE himself and be loved and supported in his needs.

So I'm not neurodivergent, and I'm not always good at seeing it in books and book characters where it's not explicitly stated in the narrative, so I was grateful for the letter that my copy had about how there was explicitly NOT going to be a diagnosis. I will say I'd probably have caught it in Henry's case from the text and the context, but I appreciate the clarity and I also appreciate the opportunity taken to highlight that nobody needs a diagnosis to be valid or to explain their experiences and needs. Just the matter-of-fact acceptance Henry gets and the patience people in his life have to let Henry explain what he needs and then GIVING THAT TO HIM with no questions asked was lovely. I also love that it wasn't always perfect. People made mistakes in good faith when they were trying to help, and there cannot be enough good said about modeling communication, accepting new information, and doing better the next time.

Listening to and believing people when they tell you about their needs and experiences should not be groundbreaking, but holy crap do people still struggle with this, so I love that Henry never had to. He is surrounded by people who listen, hear, and support.

Which is extra nice narratively because Halle is not. Her dickhead ex-boyfriend is ten kinds of jerk, her family basically uses her as a stage manager/extra parent, and she was honestly super isolated and lonely before she got pulled into the house full of hockey playing golden retrievers (seriously, that wonderful lost keychain in a frat house tumblr post about how wonderful "boys will be boys" can be as a vibe when it isn't toxic absolutely applies here). I was never a Halle, but I have KNOWN Halles, and I cannot tell you how lovely it was to watch her learn how not to people please and to find herself in a girl squad that genuinely loved and valued her in addition to having Henry around. It was lovely and happy.

I also (and please feel free to correct me on this) read Halle as demisexual coded, and that's a dynamic that I'm not used to seeing in romance novels, but it was also one that I really enjoyed. It's never bad to reiterate that pressuring someone to do something they're not ready for or don't want to in bed is SUPER BAD, ACTUALLY, and that that behavior includes bullshit like trying to enforce arbitrary timelines or calling someone cold for not wanting sex. Also, asexual spectrum identities are entirely valid, and deserve more representation in romance.

Overall though, the thing that made this book for me was Halle and Henry's communication. They're really good at the communication thing and they're really good at BEING together, which does not mean sex, it means that they are good at existing in the same space while being aware and accommodating of each other's preferences, needs, and boundaries. AND THEY HAVE FRIEND SQUADS FOR SUPPORT. Because it is normal and healthy (and often hilarious) to have multiple sources of support in addition to your partner. I adore that Henry and Halle have that, and the side characters (both new ones and ones we know from other books) are still wonderful.

Other things I adored in this book in no particular order:

Henry being a fine arts major. That was such a fun alternative side to an MMC after Nate and Russ were SO sports-focused. Henry having that extra dimension was great.

Halle being a writer. This is very much a "ooh, it me!" moment, so your mileage may vary, but I do love me a writer character. (Yes, this is why I still have a deeply soft spot in my heart for Rick Castle. No, nobody asked. You just know this now.)

Henry being so worried about Halle being sick that he takes her home to his mother who is a literal doctor. Henry was correct, Halle needed to take care of herself, and honestly, this was the sweetest thing.

Halle getting to have her girl squad preparatory periods. As someone who also used to adore getting ready for stuff with her girl squad, there is something really wonderful about this dynamic, and it was a treat to see Halle get to experience it.

The sex painting. I was not expecting to do anything but roll my eyes at this scene, but actually? It was well handled, it was cute, it made sense in the context of their characters, and y'know what? Sure. The book not self-cringing at this also helped, and I was willing to let these two adorable college kids have their fun and make some art together.

Henry's gift giving. I am a Halle, I am SO BAD at gifting, but I appreciate the skill in others. And Henry NAILED it. A+, no notes.

Halle admitting to Gianna that she wasn't sorry she and Will broke up. That was big for Halle personally, and hot damn did it model something important to her little sister. Just excellent.

I had a delightful time with this book overall, and I'll be sad to leave Maple Hills. If we are lucky, there will be more Hannah Grace books in the future though!

[theferalsquirrel]

Update and where I've been

Okay, so I made a post a few days ago to show that I'm still alive, as well as the fact that I was going to post an update about what's going on. So, here's the deal.

I mentioned a while back that I hurt my hand and that I've been needing to wear a brace off and on. And this is still going on. I've been advised by my orthopedic doctor to wear the brace when doing artwork, especially fine details. I've also acquired some arthritis gloves, which have fortunately eased the pain. For a while I was essentially trying to re-learn how to draw with the new limitations of the brace. However, the pain got so bad that I pretty much had to stop drawing entirely and focus on healing. In short, the pain was getting worse. I even had to quit my job a month or so ago as the pain became too great.

I haven't been able to draw for about the last two months, and as someone whose main stress reliever is drawing, this has been a less than unpleasant experience. Heck my hand is starting to hurt and cramp up just typing this out.

Since the pain wasn't improving, I went back to my doctor and explained to him what's going on, to which he sent in an order for an MRI of my hand to the hospital, of which I'm still waiting on the insurance to approve of.

I'm hoping to try and get back into drawing a little bit, just taking far more frequent breaks than usual. But I don't know how it'll go from here on out. This entire experience has been exceptionally difficult and depressing for me, as the idea of potentially never drawing again has reared its ugly head on multiple occasions. And that has done nothing to help my mental health. As someone who wants to write and draw to make stories, and uses this as my main creative outlet, the idea of having that stripped away from me in any way is terrifying.

There's also the added bit that I've been planning on serving a mission for my church sometime later this year, and I don't know how often I'll be able to be on here, or when my mission begins. It could be I won't be on Tumblr for a solid eighteen months, or perhaps I could still post every now and again during that eighteen-month period. I honestly don't know, as everything in my life seems up in the air at the moment.

So... Yeah. That's been my life. No job, off-and-on stabbing pains in my dominant hand, struggling to indulge in two of my biggest passions in life, and all-around uncertainty about the future and where everything is headed. Not to get too religious, but I am someone who relies on my faith when things get hard. But even now it's been difficult.

I'm going to try to create more art and play around with my (kind of) YouTube channel as I explore my limitations and where I'm at, and I'd like it if those who've stuck by me this long would be willing to stick around a while longer. But no pressure.

I just wanted to let people know that I'm alive, and what's going on. Not sure how many people will read this, but I trust that those who know me will. I'm not leaving Tumblr for good, not at all. I'm just in the midst of figuring a lot of things out.

[slade-neko]

I'm back! kinda...

I wasn't planning on disappearing for a whole year and a half especially leaving my last post as a poll on Sims of all things. Btw thanks to everyone who answered if anyone's still here. I will make a separate post about it later.

Loss of Interest

At the beginning of 2023 I became incredibly burnt out on playing/ making Sims, had nothing interesting to post, and at some point part of me changed and I began not wanting to post pictures of my sims anymore. I had a major loss of interest in using any social media websites and desired to be more reclusive and private. My older brother makes many sims just as I do and he never posts images of his sims online. Heck he hasn't even used the internet in years and I started to think maybe I should just follow his lead and leave this all behind...

Quit "Social Media"

In recent years I've realized the internet at large is filled with mindless drones, so I decided there was nothing to gain from using social media and it was a pointless distraction/ waste of time that I wanted to cut off completely. Twitter or "X" as its called now is a complete psych ward (not that I even interacted on there to begin with) and I locked down my DeviantART to a private profile (as I think weird fetish freaks were following me... site's name is "DeviantART," after all.)

Couldn't Kill my Tumblr

I began on my valiant quest to end all my social media and purge my accounts, but I couldn't bring myself to delete my tumblr. My first decision was to leave my tumblr and let it fade away into obscurity, but in a way seeing it again made me miss making my stupid rants posts about Sims, games, anime, or whatever. My biggest reason for ever using my tumblr was as an online journal of sorts to remember all the funny and interesting things I've posted over the years all the way back to 2015 when I started it! Skimming through it put a little smile on my face. In 2024 I finally had some revelations and came to the conclusion my depressio had me looking way too deep into things and I needed to simply "be happy" and continue doing what I like.

So, yeah I'll still stick around a little longer and continue to post a few sims pics, thoughts on games, etc like I usually do. However I might not be as active as I was in the past cause being totally honest here, not doing social media, having no connections, essentially being "un-plugged" was oh so very nice haha.

[chuuya-fan-page]

Regarding E’s post about Taylor Swift...

No offense, but who are you to say that? Like, let people have their fun. Who are they hurting by adding Taylor Swift to their soukoku playlists and posting about her songs/lyrics in relation to them? If it annoys you—don’t interact with it. Scroll past, press not interested/dismiss depending on the platform you’re on, filter tags/key words, block people (Blocking was made to allow people to curate their timelines and not see content they don’t want, it doesn’t mean the blocker has some sort of agenda against the person they blocked, like many people love to pretend). All these alternatives are a million times better than being mean about it. As a placeholder for blocking, you can also filter out someone’s username on Tumblr and it’ll hide all their posts from your dash the same way filtering a tag would. There are so many ways to avoid this without posting about it and spreading negativity.

If you disagree with someone in regard to a song fitting a ship (or anything fandom related, really), that’s completely okay. That’s your opinion, and you are entitled to it. What you’re not entitled to is shaming the person for it and telling them what they are and aren’t allowed to do.

Some Taylor songs genuinely fit them very well, in my opinion. Yes, also in my opinion, not all the songs people claim do actually fit them. But in their opinion the songs do, and who am I to tell them they’re wrong? My opinion isn’t in any way superior to theirs. And I’m not about to tell people what to think, or how they can interpret relationships, or what songs they’re allowed/not allowed to have in their relationship playlists. It’s not my place to. It’s not anybody’s place to.

It’s the same way the problem with the Chuuya hate page isn’t that they hate Chuuya, but instead that they’re unnecessarily loud and mean about it. Of course, I’m not trying to say that you’re “the same” or anything, because what the Chuuya hate page is doing is a thousand times worse than this, but this is the beginning of what evolves to be posts like theirs.

Not to mention that this whole mindset of “Stop making everything about X”/“Stop throwing X at everything” is rooted in ableism. What if an autistic person has Taylor as their special interest and they can’t help make everything about her? Heck, what if they have soukoku and Taylor Swift as special interests simultaneously and combining the two brings them unrestrained joy? Why should that bother you?

As an autistic person, I’m really tired of people telling me to stop making everything about my special interests. It’s genuinely out of my control, and I don’t understand why my happiness annoys them so much.

Please don’t take this as hate. The whole reason I sent this is because I like this blog, and I like to believe you’re mature enough to understand what I’m saying and where I’m coming from. Thank you for taking the time to read this <3

Hey I'm sorry that my post was read as being mean, I didn't mean for it to come across as anti-Taylor Swift. I do have my own issues with her but her music is good and I don't have a problem with people thinking a few of her songs fit whoever.

And also I'm not talking about actually explaining why you think a song fits them, that's cool as fuck. Analysis is great I love character analysis, especially if you talk about songs that represent the character and why.

Now respectfully, I think you are reading into a post too much but you did send me a well formatted ask so i'll by paragraph.

Who am I to say that? It's a take, I can have those and I wasn't shaming anyone. I said Taylor Swift makes good music but it doesn't fit everything. Which is true.

Please do not compare me to the Chuuya Hate Page as what she does is entirely different and my saying not everything works with Taylor Swift is so far away from being a bigoted shithead.

I'm not going to say much on the ablism but do know that I am also autistic. I understand where you are coming from but you also have to understand that sometimes special interests can clash. I said what I did because most of the "this Taylor Swift song fits them so well!!" is full of mischaracterization and it pisses me off because bsd is my special interest.

So, I'm not telling anyone specifically to stop doing what makes them happy, I made a very short post where I didn't even say anyone was doing anything bad. I said Taylor Swift doesn't need to be for everything.

Having said all that I do appreciate that you took the time to explain why exactly that post upset you and that's valid, however I am allowed to post whatever takes I want and you don't have to agree with me.

-E

[eziojensenthe3rd]

Midnight Gaming: Long Live Eggbug

So last night I played Atari 50th anniversary collection, checked socials later to find.... cohost will shut down by the end of the year... aww..

So Atari is a company thats been around for a long while in the gaming industry, all the way back in the 70's with pong and asteroids, leading to the atari 2600 or vcs as it was called and finally leading to thier last console, the atari jaguar which flopped hard. It was a console that was advertised as a true 64 bit console even though it was really just 2 custom 32 bit processors, making it difficult to make games that run well, in the same decade that has the playstation and the nintendo 64. Yeah, "do the math".

Never really got to experience much of Atari when they were a contender in the scene, heck I wasn't even a year old when the Jaguar was launched so it wasn't really a part of gaming that I had a hands on experience with but I have heard of them. In my general interest in all things gaming in my youth, Atari was brought up sometimes in some gaming mags and online media, AVGN is probably for many people how they heard about Atari as he covered some games on the 2600, even did an episode on the failed 5200 and the Jaguar consoles.

So Digital Eclipse (not to be confused with digital extremes, the warframe folks) has done a 50th anniversary collection that has various games from atari's history, including some unreleased games. Naturally since these games can be easily emulated, a collection of old games wouldnt mean much but theres more to this than just that. You also get a bunch supplemental material such as artwork, behind the scenes documents and videos of interviews with several employees and key figures in atari's history, talking about various things. Cliffy B is there too for some reason.

For me its damn fascinating to follow along a timeline of events, looking at various media and playing some games, getting a feel on Atari's journey over the years. You do learn a few things about the company and how it ran at the time and uhhh.. it certanly looks a bit familiar. Developers having to work overtime, upper management ignoring concerns from thier employees, games being marketed beyond what could actually be delivered leading to consumer backlash, employees losing their jobs in mass. Yeah those problems are still around nowadays huh. 50 years later and nobody has really learnt anything, still making the same mistakes that one time led to the most infamous market crashes in history. Funny thing tho, while the games market did indeed crash in 83, leading to several businesses going bankrupt, for the average 2600 player it was just an odd time in which new 2600 games werent made. Because the 2600 had such a massive install base, eventually new 2600 games got made again, even during the time when the Sega Master System and the Nintendo Entertainment System were leading the console scene. To quote one Garry Kitchen "No one told consumers that there had been a crash. No one went to their house and said "You don't like video games anymore"".

Digital Eclipse also did some other games in the documentary style, the art of karateka and llamasoft. I wouldn't mind checking those out as I feel a documentary that covers a particular subject sounds fascinating to put the lenses of an interactive game, though I suppose it does veer a bit close to "edutainment" territory.

So now with that done, lets move onto the.... news. Cohost is announced to be closing down at the end of year with it converting to a read only format in October. I genuinly enjoyed my time on cohost even if it was short. From looking for alternatives to Tumblr, I stumbled onto it and found a chill sort of site that I felt comfortable browsing, chatting with peeps and sharing posts. It was a site that had an independent vibe that was unique and humble compared to some of its contemporaries. Tumblr weared the mask of being queer friendly despite nuking the odd trans blog every now and then, twitter is a cesspit run by that nepobaby bastard, discord seems to have issues with power tripping mods and creeps. A lot of social media seems to either be.full of techbro crypto ai weirdos or algorithmic data-harvesting software or both! But cohost had the vision of a place that didnt had user-unfriendly practices, instead of just making a site that demands engagement from the user for the sake of profit, the team made the site comfortable to browse and post on, letting people build up communities to hang out and chill in. Sadly that ambition wasnt sustainable due to the issues with both work and finance and in the end, it'll all be shut down.

I'll still be posting Midnight Gaming on Cohost until October as well as on tumblr until I find another site to host this series. Maybe I'll try that dreamwidth place I heard about, maybe i'll actually make a neocities site. We'll see what the future holds.

Until then, Rest in Piece Cohost. Hug your local eggbug today.... oh yeah james earl jones passed away too... awful lot of death lately, an old friend on my fathers side recently lost thier wife too. September what the hell you doing?

Hey whatever happened to those prizes that were won during the Swordquest contest?

Thats all for today, see you tomorrow. Feel free to leave any game suggestions or feedbacks. Anons are currently on.

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

#OnThisDay: Sept 23rd, 2009

Title: Cuteness ACE 3 the final retro

IMPORTANT NOTE: Umm... Before I shared my throwback, I just wanted to say, I'm still not okay from yesterday [CLICK ME!]... 😞😔 I'm still had jealousy feeling from my siblings owing to their own jobs and I DON'T HAVE ONE. My cure from depression is going albeit slow... But, I'll try to dust myself off and standing my two feet. Maybe a nice morning walk will make myself a little better, like what happened in 2022. 🚶

Anyway, enough of my sorrow, let's moved on to my Monday's throwback:

Here's a fun fact of me playing video games: Did you know, 15 years ago, I've played the SUPER underrated mech-based game gem called "Another Century's Episode" franchise exclusively on Sony PlayStation consoles/handhelds (specifically, PS2, PS3 and PSP; PlayStation Portable)? 🤖🎮😁 Yup! It was a lot of fun, at the time when PS2 still going strong (over the new PS3).

• For those who don't know, this Japanese exclusive video game 🇯🇵🎮 was created by the old gaming publisher/company "Banpresto", the same team behind the "Super Robot Wars" franchise (formerly known as "Super Robot Taisen") before Banpresto was merged with "Bandai Namco Games", now called "Bandai Namco Entertainment". Now, ACE (short for "Another Century's Episode") wasn't your typical mech-based chess strategic game like the aforementioned "Super Robot Wars", ACE had a different approach using "Third-Person Shooter" game where you played different mechs based on Japanese most memorable TV Anime Mecha shows like of course "Gundam" (which we're never forget in our hearts as a fan), "Martian Successor Nadesico", "Getter Robo" series, "Eureka Seven" series ,and more... Heck, they even collaborate with Banpresto and Atlus (well known for "Shin Megami Tensei" and "Persona" series) creating their own mechs and characters for the 3rd ACE installment, and its SUPER DOPE in a good way! 😃

BTW: let's not forget "From Software", who also developed the said underrated mech series. Which, you may known today behind "Soulsborne" genre, like the over popular "Elden Ring". ⚔️🏰

• And as you can see, I draw Pocoyo 🔵👶 armoring the "Exblau Form H", along with Kirby ⭐ armoring the "Burning/God Gundam", and two Muglox faries of Mirmo 🪇 and Murumo 🥁 armoring the "Gundam Double X + G-Falcon" and "Freedom Gundam", respectively in a colored-retro style! 🤖😁

If you want it more, then please go to these provided links 😉👉 [CLICK ME! #1], [CLICK ME! #2], [CLICK ME! #3].

Pocoyo - POCOYO © Zinkia Entertainment Kirby - Kirby series © Nintendo, Hal Labs Mirumo & Murumo - Mirmo! © Hiromu Shinozuka/Shogakukan, TV Tokyo Armor - Another Century's Episode © Bandai Namco Entertainment (BANPRESTO) Armors (Mobile Fighter G Gundam, After War Gundam X, and Mobile Suit Gundam SEED) - Gundam series © Bandai Namco Filmworks, Inc. (SUNRISE), Sotsu

[gigabyte-flare]

Oh boy it's brain vomit time!

For some reason I started reminiscing about this person I used to be friends with in the Final Fantasy VII fandom and I know if this makes it onto the feed of some of those still active in the fandom they're going to know exactly who I'm talking about. For the sake of privacy, I will not be dropping names. This is not a callout post, just me reflecting on my life. I first joined Tumblr back in like... 2015 or 2016; I was still recovering from a pretty nasty breakup from 2013 and I needed an outlet for my Sephiroth hyperfixation. At the time I had absolutely zero clue that hyperfixating on fictional characters was completely normal as I had prior friendships that shamed me for that, but that's a story for another time.

This person was one of the first people I became friends with in the fandom and looking back.... yeeeeaaaahhhhh this friendship was not the healthiest. I loved Sephiroth with every fiber of my being yet this person somehow spat on that and said 'hold my beer.' They were utterly obsessed with anything and everything Sephiroth; not just him, but the voice actor that portrayed him at the time as well.

Now, don't get me wrong, George Newbern is a great guy and a great voice actor, not to mention he's been in a ton of roles (one I remember fondly is actually my favorite episode of CSI where he played a dude with chimerism) as well as voicing Superman for many, many years, but this person would quite literally go almost every convention George went on the US West coast.

At first I didn't think anything of it, but it wasn't until they would vehemently insist that I go to some of these conventions that I started to take a step back and give the situation serious side eye. It came to a head in 2019/2020. At this point, I became heavily involved in a community for a popular cosplayer and actually kindled a friendship with them (this particular arc in my life also is a story for another time) and we were both going to a convention and meeting in person for the first time. Needless to say, I was extremely excited to meet them.

Queue my friend though, who insisted that meeting George Newbern was way more important than my cosplayer friend. I was livid, to say the least, but that surprisingly wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back. That honor would go to the recasting of the FFVII characters and my indifference to it.

Oooooooooohhhhhhhh boy... did that upset the friend. They probably would be extremely upset to find out that I actually like Tyler Hoechlin's performance better (he just nails it for me). Heck, I actually like most of the "recast" performances better with the exception of one (Ricky Gomez will always be Zack Fair). This debacle severed our friendship and I didn't talk to them for I think almost three or four years.

At some point, I was deep in my Sephiroth hyperfixation era again and for some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to attempt to rekindle this friendship because I wanted someone to scream about Sephiroth with. I was hoping that maybe, with the amount of time that had gone by, they would have come to their senses and... like... chilled out with their George Newbern obsession.

Yeah no, if anything, it got worse.

So I kinda just... let the friendship die out again which brings us to now. I'm not sure why I randomly started to think about this person, but it came from another string of thought I was having. Yes, Sephiroth is still one of my favorite fictional characters ever and he will always be my 'OG' husband, but when I look at him these days... I dunno it's just different now.

The way I look at it, Sephiroth was the embodiment of my internalized rage. Post 2013 I was angry at the world and everything in it. Cut to Leon Kennedy, my hyperfixation from last year, who I now feel was the embodiment of my healing journey, having gone through some fucked up shit himself, he didn't let that stop him in his mission to help people. Then we cut to Von Lycaon. From what little lore we have of him, he is proof that you can make mistakes, go through some probably fucked up situations and still come out making a better life for yourself and man, do I adore him.

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for taking time to read my brain vomit!

[bardock1991]

My thoughts about the Penny Revival Theory... & Why i don't see it happening.

Before i begin, I'd like to make one thing clear. This is not a personal attack on anyone who likes these theories & wishes them to be true, nor is this me telling any of them or some of you for that matter that you're wrong for thinking this way. I just wish to express my OWN thoughts in the matter & why they don't sit well with ME personally & why I don't see it happening in the canon story.

I'm begging you guys to keep the discussions in both the comments & reblogs civil, I'm not here to pick any fights. Moreover, do NOT go & attack people who follow this theory, i do NOT want them getting harassed for this. If i see any of you do that, I'm going to block you.

Also, a quick trigger warning: there's gonna be a few mentions about death in this post, including suicide. I tried my best to make sure there's not too many mentions of it, but i wanna make it clear since i know how sensitive that topic can be for people. Okay? Here we go!

So! RWBY Volume 9! My personal favorite RWBY volume to date & one of my favorite seasons of anime in recent memory. I'm serious, we're talking top 3 material here. With an amazing new world to explore, gorgeous animation, tons of great characterization (for the most part), incredible pay offs for stuff that was being set up for years at this point, all concluding in a (albeit a bit rushed) very satisfying conclusion that really resonated with me personally. Now with almost one week away from the finale, i can safely say that this volume is my personal favorite RWBY volume... So now i think it's time to discuss something that I've been neglecting to talk about since the Volume began... Heck, since V8 ENDED!... & That matter... Is Penny!

As a huge Nuts N'Dolts shipper myself (although I'll admit i haven't truly appreciate the shit until somewhere around mid to late 2021 to early 2022), it's safe to say that i really love Penny. She's a really adorable character with a pretty interesting arc about choice & how she's not a thing others can just use. I don't think it was executed the best though, since if you wanna be technical, Penny DID made her own choices in the story. Like her choice to actually be honest with Ruby in V2, going with the heroes instead of Ironwood in the end of V7 & holding up Amity in V8 despite the risks just to name a few. So the whole idea of her only really having a choice when she committed assisted you know what (it wasn't a choice, it was an ultimatum) doesn't really hit as hard as the story wanted it to hit... THAT + the fact that the one who was there with her in the end wasn't Ruby... But Jaune... Yeah, I'm still not over that... But despite all of that, i still love this character & is tragic to see her go the way she did... Yet... Unlike most NND fans... I kinda want Penny to stay dead...

HEAR ME OUT!!! Now yes, Penny has indeed came back from the dead once, that is true... So most people think why couldn't that happen again & moreover, in the words of some people said it themselves on Tumblr put it "Why would the writers give such an unsatisfying & cruel fate if they weren't gonna do something with it? Like bring her back?" (Sidenote, if any of you attack these people, I'm gonna be VERY pissed because like i said earlier, I'm NOT here to start pointless flame wars & fights!)... But for both a LOGICAL standpoint, as well as a STORY & CHARACTER standpoint... Not only would this not make a lot of sense, but it'd also be rather... Disrespectful... Let me explain.

Why the Penny Revival theory wouldn't work from a LOGICAL standpoint

Option 1: Ascension/Ever After Loopholes.

So for those unaware, Penny died in V3 by being cut in half by Pyrrha, albeit because of Emerald's Semblance messing with their heads. But in V7, we learned that she was able to not ONLY come back to life, but also come back with her memories & experiences from her LAST life intact... Why?... Because her CORE wasn't all that damaged in Beacon. (Actually, IDT it was damaged at all cause Penny's core is essentially her heart & she wasn't cut in half from the chest, it was from the waist.) Keep this factor in mind cause it's gonna be the main factor as to why this theory cannot become a reality from a logical standpoint.

Now let's go to the end of Volume 8, where the heroes manage to save Penny... Until they didn't. They were able to save her from the virus by tricking Ambrosius into making her into a human without ACTUALLY asking him to do it. There's a great video explaining this in greater detail that was made by the amazing Murder of Birds, which I'll link over here: https://youtu.be/ovd_jcdvbL0

Anyways, Cinder catches everyone off guard, the writers take a dump on Ruby, Penny gets capped off & Solitas goes to shit!... Where does V9 take place? The Ever After, which we NOW know is the center of the entire RWBYverse. Think of the Ever After (more specifically, the TREE of Ever After) as the Tree of Yggdrassill in Norse Mythology.

In Ever After, when a person dies, they're essentially sent into The Tutorial Realm of Kingdom Hearts. But instead of picking your weapons & stats, you pick who you wanna become in the next life. In simpler terms, death in ever after works like reincarnation. You die & get the choice of either come back as yourself (which doesn't happen very often) or the choice of being erased from existence & be replaced by someone else who just so happen to look like your previous self... Oh & there's some bullshit about how "the heart always remembers", but that makes no fucking sense, so i don't count that.

So a lot of fans, especially as the Volume was reaching its conclusion where we learn more & more about Ever After began thinking "Oh, then that must mean Penny will come back"... So a few things why this doesn't really work... & It starts with easily the biggest counterpoint... Did Penny die in the Ever After?... No, she didn't... She died in The World of Void... Which is NOT the same thing! Meaning that Penny wouldn't be able to come back as either herself or as a "reincarnation" that replaces her very existence. That's not possible unless she specifically died in Ever After, which wasn't the case. So that's already off the table... & Those who said "Oh, when Little dies, they'll be reborn as Penny & they'll finally give Ruby hope again"...

2 problems with this... 1: Replacing a character that was introduced specifically for this season... & Then replace them with someone who just died on the season before this one... For arguably no reason other than fanservice... Do i need to explain the problem here?! Do i need to explain why this wouldn't have been a good writing decision?!... Not to mention how little sense it'd actually make sense Little doesn't know Penny, so WHY would they ascend as her?!

2: & This is more personal for ME specifically, but i really... REALLY do not like having someone's character arc be arbitrarily resolved because of someone else as a way to "cure them" or "help them"... In this context, it'd be Penny being the "cure" that Ruby needs to regain her hope again... Again, i ask you... Do i need to explain why this wouldn't have been a good thing?!

If that actually happened, Ruby wouldn't learn anything in the end! She wouldn't learn that being herself was good enough, she'd instead learn that in reality, there IS no consequence! People can die & come back if the world suddenly decides it had enough of you moping around all depressed, which is not only bad writing, but also VERY insulting to those who were/are in a similar position as Ruby did in V9!... That is not the lesson you wanna teach to your main character when she's in that state of depression, let alone your AUDIENCE!

While i will be the first to admit that they fucked over the way Ruby ascended in the first place by essentially mimicking you know what & then make such a jarring tone shift in the very next chapter (Jesus Christ, that was awful), the end result was beautiful! It wasn't perfect & it happened a bit too quickly for my taste, but it was STILL beautiful! Ruby eventually realizing that she doesn't HAVE to be someone else & moreover, she doesn't HAVE to be perfect... Just being herself is good enough & even if she doesn't know who she is deep down, she won't be able to find that out unless she CHOOSES to he herself, which was the POINT of Volume 9's finale from Ruby's PoV... Bringing Penny back in this instance would completely go against this message, cause Ruby wouldn't be able to fully appreciate herself as a person.

Option 2: Pietro creates a THIRD Body for Penny, just like he did for Penny 2.0.

Ok, now with THAT out of the way, let's talk about the SECOND possibility for Penny coming back... Pietro either MAKES a Penny 3.0 or has already MADE one by the time RWBYJ returned to Remnant... Remember when i said that the only reason Penny was able to come back in the first place was because her core/heart was intact, thus allowing Pietro to actually MAKE a second body for Penny while still letting her keep her memories?... Yeah, that's not possible here anymore. Why?... Because not only did Penny die in The World of Void... She died as a HUMAN!... Meaning that her core... Her HEART... Is gone for GOOD!

Nobody managed to retrieved Penny's body from the world of void before the portals closed, (nor did we ever see it in Ever After, which was a MASSIVE missopportunity if you ask me. Along with the fact that we never see the reactions of the others learning how Penny ACTUALLY died which... WHY didn't we get that in V9?...) So it wouldn't have been possible for Pietro or anyone for that matter to take her heart back, even IF Penny died as a robot again.

Moreover, Atlas is gone! Their TECHNOLOGY & MATERIALS are gone! Sure, Amity & some stuff from Argus are still around as we saw in the final shot of V9, but most of it is gone... Pietro wouldn't be able to create a THIRD Penny Robot with the resources he has. But even then, let's say that he did. Let's say that Pietro WAS able to create a THIRD Penny Robot... There's still a huge problem here, it WOULDN'T be the same Penny. Why?... Because the CORE would be different, the HEART would be different.

Pietro wouldn't be able to create a THIRD Penny Robot so he can add her core in there BECAUSE HER ORIGINAL CORE IS GONE! Pietro & the others managed to RETRIEVE the core after the events of V3, but that wasn't the case for V8. The Penny we grew to know & love is GONE! She will NEVER be able to come back in a way that doesn't make sense & doesn't feel like a total asspull, it's NOT gonna happen. If we ever get a THIRD Penny (& that's a REALLY BIG if), it's gonna be a completely different Penny instead of the one WE know, a completely different Penny from the one RUBY knows... & Loves... Let me ask you people... Would you WANT that? Would you want this "Penny 3.0" to essentially replace the Penny we grew to know & love?... Do you guys ACTUALLY want that?!... Personally, i DON'T!

If it were up to me between keeping her dead & essentially replacing her either through ascension or through a third model that's completely unrecognizable, I'd go with the FIRST option!

So yeah, those are the reason why Penny coming back wouldn't work from a LOGICAL standpoint, so now it's time for the one that's gonna be VERY controversial... Why Penny coming back wouldn't work from a STORY & CHARACTER standpoint...

Why the Penny Revival theory wouldn't work from a STORY & CHARACTER standpoint

Okay, this is where i have to put up some flame shields, cause this is the point of the discussion where I'm gonna make A LOT of people mad at me... Okay, here we go...

Reason 1: It'd undo Penny's sacrifice, which would be a very disrespectful thing to do.

Now even though the whole "only choice Penny had was how she chose her death" thing is actually bullshit because it wasn't a choice, nor was it her only one... It'd still feel very disrespectful for the heroes to just... UNDO the sacrifice she made to make sure Cinder doesn't get any stronger.

Think about this from Penny's perspective. You decide to ask one of your few remaining allies to essentially help you commit assisted you know what so you can make sure your inherited magical power doesn't fall into the wrong hands... Then a while later, those same allies undo your efforts by bringing you back to life...

That would feel like a slap to the face if you ask me. Regardless of intentions, they would essentially undo the hard work i did to make sure THEY got to live... I'd feel REALLY insulted if that happened to me & I'm pretty sure Penny would feel that way too. So right off the bat, there's a problem.

Not to mention, how did this entire story start again? How did this entire SERIES started again?... Let me think for a moment... Oh yeah, it's because a spiteful, self-righteous woman tried to play god & get her fallen fiancee back despite being told by LITERAL GOD that this was wrong & then pay the price for it by becoming immortal until she truly understands the meaning of life... (spoilers, she'll never do so willingly because it's Salem. She's the f-ing worst)

So why the FUCK would you want the heroes to do the exact damn thing?! Why the hell would you want them to essentially do the same thing the main villain did?! The same thing that put these kids in this mess in the first place?!... Why the hell would you want that?! It just makes no sense to me.

That's like if Byleth from Fire Emblem tried to bring back Jeralt by doing the exact same fucked up experiments Rhea did in the attempt to resurrect Sothis, all the while Byleth has complete understanding of the consequences her actions will have because she literally experienced the consequences of Rhea's actions when she did that to Byleth herself!...

Do you see where I'm going with here? By trying to play god in bringing Penny back, Ruby & co. would essentially be proving Salem & in a way, the Gods right in saying that mankind at its core is worthless & beyond salvation.

& Before i move on to my next point, let me bring up a scenario for you guys. Imagine if you were Ruby, imagine if you - as Ruby Rose - met up with Dr. Pietro Polendina in Vácuo & he tells you that he may (keyword: MAY!...) have found a way to bring Penny back... But in turn, it'd cost him his life. In Volume 7, we learn that Penny's soul isn't actually artificial, but actually a fragment of Pietro's soul... His life force.

While what I'm about to say isn't confirmed as of the writing of this essay, i wouldn't be surprised if this whole "taking away my soul & putting it on something else" thing Pietro did took a huge toll in his lifespan... IE: it might've made his life span much shorter & maybe even age faster. In that same scene, he also says that if Penny dies again, he doesn't know if he will have enough life force to bring her back a second time.

So with ALL of that in mind, would YOU - Ruby Rose - accept Pietro's offer? Better yet, would you let him actually DO IT?!... Personally, i wouldn't... I'm sorry, but I'm not the kind of person who could bring himself to bring someone back to life by either killing someone else or letting said someone else die. Especially if the person I'm trying to bring back is the daughter of the person I'm killing in exchange!

Imagine how devastated Penny would feel if that happened?! Imagine how she would feel of her own father died in order to bring her back to life again... Do you think she'd be able to live with that reality?! Do you think she'd be able to forgive herself for that?! Let alone forgive Ruby for either telling Pietro to do that or worse, letting him do that & not stop him?! Do you think Penny would want that?! Do you want this poor innocent girl to come back at the cost of her father's life?!...

How could Ruby ask that of Pietro, how could you ask that of him? How could I ask that of him?! What kind of person do you have to be in order to ask someone's parent to essentially sacrifice the remaining years of their life in order to bring THEIR child back?! Not YOUR child, THEIRS!... Do i need to go any further on how cruel & messed up this scenario would be?!...

I can't fucking believe some people actually say this unironically, but they freaking do! Like- guys!... You can't bring somebody back to life by having their parent literally exchange their life for them! You can't just DO that! That's like if i was asking the Mom of my best friend who just died to sacrifice her life to bring back my friend... How the hell am I supposed to ask that of somebody?!

Reason 2: Sometimes, people just die.

Okay, THIS is where I'm gonna sound very controversial. Cause what I'm about to say will make people very upset... So for those who somehow are still reading this, but don't feel like finishing it... Out... Now!...

This is the most overused talking point I've heard when i hear people talking about Penny's death in Volume 8. How it was needlessly cruel, unfair & unsatisfying, as well as asking themselves why the writers would do this if they didn't plan on bringing her back in the future?... Here's the problem with this line of thinking... Sometimes, bad things just happen...

There are times where bad things happen out of our control, there are times when even after being prepared for the worst, we still lose & most of all, there are times where people just... Die... & There's nothing we can really do about it... The point I'm trying to make here is this: People don't often die in order to make a big sacrifice for the greater good or to save their loved ones... People don't often die to achieve a greater purpose in life or to motivate someone else... Sometimes... People just die... & That's what happened to Penny...

Despite everyone's best efforts, she died... Despite everything Penny went through to get as far as she did, she died... Despite all the love, care & affection the people around her showed her & proving to the world that her life did indeed had meaning... She died... & There was nothing the heroes could do about it. Jaune wouldn't have been able to heal Penny in time before she either bled out or before Cinder finished the job herself, there's no Senzu Bean equivalent in RWBY for Penny to take for her to suddenly heal all of her fatal wounds, there's no legitimate healing spells in RWBY as far as we know... & Most important of all, there was nothing the heroes could do to stop Cinder.

Now before some of you say "Oh, but Emerald knew & could've told them!" & To that i say YES, you're right... Except not really... Thing is, Emerald didn't know Cinder would do what she did. She didn't know she'd ally with Watts & Neo, create this very elaborate scheme in order to kill everyone in The World of Void. There was no way in hell Emerald could ever find out about that, nobody could. Heck, they didn't even know who was holding the missing Lamp at the time! Making the heroes counter Cinder's plan even MORE unlikely.

Now is this death unfair?... Yes!... Is it very cruel? Yes!... Is it rather unsatisfying?... Very!... But that's the whole point! It's supposed to be a very cruel twist of fate, it's supposed to be this horrible, tragic ending to a character who deserved better & ya'know why? Because that's what death actually feels like to people!

Many people (myself included) don't see death as this great ending to a story or a final goodbye or anything like that. It's usually seen as this cruel, unfair & very painful thing people go through. Whether it be through an accident, a murder, an illness or just old age... Dealing with the death of loved ones suck! It's not supposed to be seen as something that could have benefits to the world or something that could/should be undone.

& That's essentially what happened to Penny. I don't know about you guys, but i am just so tired of people saying that she had to have died for a cause, there has to be a reason the writers killed her off the way they did & that it must be the story telling us that she'll come back somehow... Here's the problem with all of these takes... There IS no reason for her death, there IS no big cause for her death... She just died... That's it...

Like i said a few moments ago... Sometimes, bad things just happen that are out of our control & there's nothing we can do about it. There doesn't have to be a reason for everything, that's not how the world works. Penny's death is no different... Neither is Pyrrha's, neither is Summer's supposed death... That was the whole point of Volume 9. It wasn't about doing the impossible or undoing the past, it was about accepting what happened & trying to find a new reason to live, as well as accepting that the person you are now is good enough.

Does the world suck sometimes? Yes. Does the people in it ruin your reason to live sometimes? Yes. Can reality be the cruelest, sadistic & unforgiving asshole you've ever met in your life sometimes?... Absolutely!... All of what i just said is true, there's no ifs, ands or buts about it. Sometimes, life is one merciless & unforgiving bitch!... But ya'know what's also true?... Ya'know what's also reality?... You have a choice to make... You get to choose how you will properly deal with that reality.

You can either choose the path Salem, Cinder, Neo, Watts, Ironwood, Adam & all of the RWBY villains/antagonists took, where you're so spiteful & resentful towards the world that you wanna give the same pain you just went through back at the world. Because in your mind, it's justified. Why shouldn't the world suffer the same pain you've suffered. It's not fair for you to go through literal hell while everyone else is all happy & cheerful, living their lives without a care in the world... That doesn't sound fair to you, does it?...

If you make this choice, you're essentially letting your pain & suffering do the talking for you. You're letting it control your life & make all of the decisions for you... You could do that... But you can also choose to take a different path, one that's more benevolent & hopeful... The path that people like Ruby, like Summer, like Yang & the rest of the team good guys have chosen to take.

A path where instead of using your pain & suffering to make the world worse, you use it to make it better. You use your own painful experiences to help others, to make sure they don't go through the same pain you did. It might seem like it's too much for you to handle & sometimes, it might even feel like a waste of time. Hell! You might even get to a point where you ask yourself "Where's my help? Where's my source of comfort? Why can't someone pick me up for once?" But if you stick to your guts & if you don't lose sight of yourself, you'll eventually realize 2 things.

1: The person you are now is good enough. It's not perfect, this person makes many mistakes & has maybe done some terrible things in the past... But the good that person did can't be denied & maybe... Just maybe, that person you are right now is good enough, even if you don't realize it right away.

2: Your actions, no matter how small they may seem, CAN leave a positive impact on others. Eventually, you come to realize that despite your many failures in life, the good you did accomplish cannot be understated. Whether it be on a single person or maybe even a whole group of people, they're only where they are now because of you.

You were the one who gave them the drive to keep living despite the hardships the world can bring at them, you were the one who showed them that their lives actually mean something! & You should take pride in that, no matter how small it may seem to you.

So yes, the world can be very cruel... But it can also be very beautiful... & You can choose whether or not you embrace its cruelty, or show the people how beautiful the world can be... That's the entire point of not only Ruby's arc in volume 9, not only the entire point of Volume 9 as a whole... But the point of RWBY as a whole. It's a story about how the world can affect different people, a story where its cruelty can either make people very spiteful & resentful or make them empathetic & kind. Because that's how things are in our world too... & I'm really happy to see RWBY both understanding this theme... & Embracing it.

3: "If Penny's death is meant to be unfair & cruel... Then what was the point of it"?

& You might ask me "What, did Penny just die for nothing then?"... Well... Yes & no... While it is very cruel & unsatisfying - which again, was the point - i wouldn't say she died for "nothing." If Penny didn't do what she did, Winter would've died against Ironwood (remember, she was at death's door when Penny gave her the Winter Maiden Magic. Ironwood was this close to finishing her off.), Weiss would've died against Cinder, Jaune probably would've died against Cinder as well & worse of all, the Winter Maiden Magic would go to someone else random. Why is this a problem?... Oh, nothing much... It's nothing too serious, except for the part that all of the escapees are getting killed off in the desert & there was nobody powerful enough to complete subdue & protect them at the time! Are we seriously forgetting about that?!

It doesn't matter if it was either Penny or Winter, if neither of them went through that portal, i can guarantee you that everyone on the other side of that portal would've died by the Vacuan Grimm. (You can mostly thank Weiss [The Writers] for not being more specific about the exit of the portals, but i already wrote & sang that song many times in the past, so i don't wanna get too sidetracked here.) I can guarantee you that the only reason Ren, Nora, Oscar, Emerald, Klein, Willow, Whitley, the Happy Huntresses & everyone else who made it there didn't all fucking die in that desert is because of Winter coming when she did as a Maiden, which wouldn't have happened if Penny didn't do what she did.

So uh... Yeah, Penny making sure the Winter Maiden Powers went to someone she could trust was kind of a big deal. You can't call that "dying for nothing", because despite losing the 2 relics, Penny's death essentially gave the survivors of Solitas a chance to even make it through Vácuo alive & by extension, having an entire unified armada ready to go as we see in the final shot of V9. (Most of that is thanks to Ruby & her message, but i still need to give Penny some credit for this since i doubt there were enough people to properly lead this unified armada). Once again, sharing a great video from Murder of Birds that puts things into perspective better than i ever could: https://youtu.be/k3i8kS5i4qw

Final thoughts

So overall, i think these Penny Revival theories aren't really worth making it a reality. I think it'd be best to just let Penny rest in peace & let Ruby & co. carry on her memory & will, even if her actually death is very cruel & painful. By bringing Penny back, you don't just undo her sacrifice, but also go against the core themes of the show, in more ways than one... So as much as it pains me to say this both as a Penny fan & as a huge Nuts N'Dolts shipper... I think it'd be best for Penny NOT to come back for a second time.

I once again ask everyone to keep things civil in both the comments, as well as in the reblogs & to NOT attack anyone who follow these theories. I do not want that & if i see anybody do that, I'm going to block you... & I really don't wanna do that, especially since my block list is getting kinda full with these annoying as hell pornbots (hate those jerks.)

But that's it for me. This has been Remnant Bardock & until our next meeting, have a wonderful day, my friends!

@asm5129, @iamafanofcartoons, @tumblingxelian, @frisk863, thoughts?