#THATS A LOTTA NOTES!! THANKS!!

[fluttershywheresheshouldntbe]

Now that fluttermop has hit 50k notes, every single pony that's left any variation of "wait whats that statue there?" owes me 20 bucks

[queers-gambit]

Two to Tango

prompt: the aftermath of Carmy's words seem to rattle him more than you.

pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach

fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear

collection masterlist: Clingy Baby

word count: 5.4k+

note: author still does not want any messages about glorifying toxic relationships. typically, but not always, when someone calls you clingy, it's weaponized and is abusive. this fic is not meant to portray that! it’s meant to show internal agony and the journey to forgiveness - Carmy apologizes 'cause he's actually sorry!

warnings: cursing, reader folds 'cause who wouldn't for the sweet puppy that is Carmy, hurt and comfort, small angst, small fluff, we talk about Mikey a bit, author uses writing as therapy, relationship angst...? barely edited.

part one: God's Plan

"It's six in the Goddamn morning!" You raged at your front door, stomping up to it, "Are you dumb in the fucking head!? Who the fuck in their right mind knocks like the Goddamn cops at six in the fucking morning!?"

You whipped it open, the force causing a breeze of air to blow your bedridden hair back and highlight your exhaustion. "Hiya, sunshine," Richie beamed down at you, holding up a paper bag, offering, "donut?"

"Richie!? I know you're not fuckin' stupid, baby boy, so, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's six in the morning on my day off - do you want to give me a reason to punch you? You hate your nose that much?"

He tisked at you mockingly, "Someone's cranky this morning."

"What do you want?"

"You're not gonna invite me in for coffee? I brought us donuts! See? C'mon, Peach," He jostled the bag around with a shit-eating, closed-lip smile. "Dooonuts," he taunted.

You had to pause, count to ten in your head, then sigh through your nose. You offered kindly, "Richie? Would you like to come in for some coffee? Since you kindly brought donuts?"

He grinned, "Awwh, thanks, Peach, thats real nice of yah! Don't mind if I do!"

"Don't call me that," you snapped, leading him into your kitchen. The door shut and locked.

"Oh, someone's touchy."

"What do you fucking want?" You whined, pouring two mugs of hot coffee. "You come bangin' at my door, early ass in the mornin'. You better have a good-ass reason," you slid the mug over the counter he sat at. "Cream or sugar?"

He shook his head, fiddling with the mug for a moment before admitting as you dressed up your own coffee, "Uh, so... It's Carmy."

You paused, taking a slow sip from your mug, waiting for more that wouldn't come. So, you quietly asked, "What about Carmy?"

"He's falling apart."

"O...Kay?"

"Peach," he frowned, "you know that your relationship was the only thing that made sense to him - he's falling apart without you there."

"Okay," you nodded, taking another swallow of hot bean-water.

"That's it? Nothing else to say? Dude's losin' his fuckin' shit, Peach. Okay? Barely leaves the restaurant, h-he's all manic and shit, doesn't stop cookin', isn't gettin' a lotta sleep, and Syd said his clothes are all over the apartment - he's not keeping himself in order."

"So, he needs his mother?"

Richie glared with a clenched jaw, "Not fuckin' funny, Peach."

"I'm not laughing."

"He needs you."

"I'd argue otherwise, he's a grown fuckin' man who doesn't need to be taken care of. Look, if he was man enough to call me a desperate, clingy bitch, he's man enough to deal with the fallout of his words."

"Look, hey, hey, hey, I'm not sayin' he's not in the wrong," he waved his hands, eyes widening, "actually, the exact opposite. We all chewed his ass out when we found out what he fuckin' said, Peach. And look, I've never seen Fak that fuckin' angry."

You semi-pouted your bottom lip, "Really?"

"Fak was ready to strangle Carmy, I think," Richie sighed. "I yelled, Sugar yelled, Fak lost his shit, Syd even cornered him in the office and laid into him..."

"I thought she didn't like me," you whispered.

"She's getting to know you, but she likes you," he assured, "and it's obvious the affect you have on Carmy. We all respect that - "

"Oh, great, so everyone except the one person who needs to respect our relationship - respects it!"

Richie frowned at you, nodding in agreement before admitting, "He's a dumb fuckin' idiot, Peach, we all know that, but the dude is losing it without you."

"Sucks to suck."

"Peach," he groaned, slapping his hands to the counter with exasperation. "Don't you love him?"

"Of course I love him, but I also have this little thing called self-respect! He said some shit - shit he can't ever take back. The fuck I look like going back to him when he's the one in the wrong!? I don't hate myself that much, and despite what he says, I'm not that desperate for love."

"How is talking to the man you love - "

"Richie," you paused him, "your Cousin said a lot of hurtful shit. It's been weeks, okay? He's gonna snap outta it, realize what he's done, and right the wrongs he's committed. I don't need to speed that along in any way, shape, or form - he's a grown man. And I'm a grown woman, I don't have to fall to anyone's beck-and-call, he can figure his own shit out."

"I know - look, it's been fuckin' weeks of us dealin' with him losin' his fuckin' mind!" Richie snapped. "We tried to respect that you wanted distance and time, we really did, but he's losin' it, Peach, more than he's lost it before. Okay? I'm concerned about him, more than I was when the shit with Mikey went down..."

You sighed and leaned on your kitchen counter, wiping your fingers over your eyes to pinch the bridge of your nose after. "Okay, okay," you paused, sighing again, blinking as you looked at Richie, "so, what would you like me to do?"

He pouted dramatically, "Talk to him? Please?"

"To say... What?"

"I don't know, you guys can work that out together, but he's miserable, Peach. Just talk to him, just..." He sighed, shaking his head, "I know it's not fair to ask of you, but he's slippin' off the deep end. You're all he knows, all that makes sense to him, and with you gone..." His eyes turned red as he held back his tears, "I-I'm not sayin' he's gonna do anythin', Peach, but everythin' with Mikey's still so fresh... I just - I can't go through this again. Can't lose another Berzatto."

You frowned, understanding now why he appeared so frazzled.

"Carmy's not Mikey, Richie, okay?" You reminded him softly, reaching for his hand; leaving your extended to reach him, "And you're not gonna lose any more of us, you hear me?" You gave a squeeze, "I'll talk to him."

"Really?"

"I will," you assured softly, seeing the single tear drop from his waterline when he bowed his head and sniffled harshly. "Hey, Richie...? Do you, maybe, wanna bring some flowers to Mikey today? Think you wanna visit?"

He shrugged, "Maybe..."

"Maybe it'll be nice," you assured calmly. "It rained a few days ago, so, the ground won't be too soggy anymore, but the grass will be lush and green - hydrated and shit."

"Right," he chuckled, nodding, "yeah, okay, maybe that'll be nice, yeah, you're right."

"Maybe Carmy could use a visit, too."

"He won't go."

You nodded, "I know, but sometimes it's nice to just have the offer."

Richie agreed, downing the last of his black coffee. "All right," he cleared his throat, "let's go - you wearin' that?"

"What?"

"You gonna wear that? To go talk to Carmy?"

"It's not even seven in the morning!"

"He's at the restaurant," Richie shrugged. "Dude doesn't leave. C'mon, he needs a nap or somethin'."

You groaned, knowing he wouldn't leave unless you left with him. So, you got ready quickly while he sat at your desktop computer; playing Facebook's FarmVille - the same you left your little cousins to play when they needed distracted. He was enraptured by the adorable virtual sheep, laughing to himself as he learned the ropes of the game; and when you were ready, you had time to fill a to-go tumbler of coffee while he signed off.

When you arrived at The Beef, it was still closed for the morning prep; and inside, chaos rained in a fury of angry voices. You listened to Carmy snap at Marcus about something petty, going as far as to slap a pastry out of his hand as they argued in one another's faces with ignited passion.

"Ooookay," you moved through the kitchen and got between the two men, hands on Carmy's chest, "that's enough, Chef, hey, hey, hey, c'mon, walk away - just walk away, Carmy, don't do this. Hey, hey, don't do this, c'mon, just step off - walk away with me, please. Please, Carmy, hey, hey, step off, walk away with me, please."

"Fuck you doin' here, Peach?" He asked with red, swollen eyes. He looked sullen; pale between the angry red blotches to his skin, bags under his tired eyes, looking worn out and thinner than you remembered.

"Yeah, hey, hey, we'll talk about that, c'mon, outside, outside, outside," you directed him, sighing at the sight of the splattered pastry you were forced to step over. "I'm so sorry, Marcus," you whispered, seeing him nod and wave you off as you and Carmy pushed outside into the alley.

The door shut behind you, making Carmy snarl, "What the fuck, Peach - "

"No, I think that's better asked to you," you snapped. "The hell's wrong with you? Yellin' at Marcus like that? You know how rude it is to slap shit outta anyone's hand?"

He paced in anger, wiping a hand down his face; circling his mouth with his fingers, eyes ringed with red, hair greasy and tossed in a mess. His pants looked baggy, his shirt wrinkled, stained, and dirty with sweat marks.

"What're you doin' here?" He asked in a pant, hands going to his slender hips, head shaking as his tear-filled eyes avoided yours.

"Carmy, we need to talk."

"No shit," he breathed, scoffing after and widening his pace.

"Hey, Carmy, hey, hey," you reached for him, taking both his wrists in your grasp so he had to face you. "I need you to pause for me, please, hey," you stepped in his way when he tried to move. "Carmy, you're no good to anyone when you're like this - least of all yourself. So, I need you to talk - "

"You left," he panicked, pulling back to start pacing again. "You left - you left me. We got in a fight and you left, you fucking left. You walked away and you left me."

"Carmy, we got in more than a fight," you sighed. "You lashed out at me, then turned avoidant, and I don't linger where I'm not wanted."

"How can you think that?" He demanded, still pacing. "That you're not wanted by me? That you're not welcome, what? In my life? At my side? With me? Baby - of course, you are!"

"You didn't exactly make me feel any different," you pointed out sharply. "Carmy, can you please fucking pause for me so we can talk this out - "

"I know I fucked up," he ranted to himself, huffing and puffing as his emotion strangled him. "I know I did, I kept - I couldn't - I fucked up. I know I did. I couldn't get my head outta my ass," he listed, pacing as he panted when panic took hold of his being, "and I hurt you, and it was like I had to keep hurting you because I couldn't be alone in what I felt and I couldn't exactly figure out what the fuck I was feeling - I just needed you to hurt, too."

"Carmy," you sighed patiently.

"And I couldn't stop, I just kept going, and when I realized how bad I made it, I couldn't fucking stop - I needed y-yo-you t-to know what I felt, but I couldn't find the words. I-I hate that I did that, I-I fucking hurt you and I made this so much worse than it ever had t-to be, and I fucking know, Peach, okay? I know you're not clingy, you were just loving me. Y-You were loving me, you were using your own love languages, and I felt y-you so fuckin' close to me, and freaked out - I just - I just don't know why. I just - I panicked, I couldn't stop whatever I felt, and I'm so sorry," he breathed, shaking his head, wiping his cheeks as the tears started. "I-I-I'm so sorry, Peach, I couldn't control myself and I-I hate that I hurt you, and I know I don't deserve your understanding, but I just - I couldn't stop - "

"Carmy," you stepped directly in his footpath; needing to seize hold of his swollen biceps to catch his movements as he all but barreled right into you, "I need you to breathe."

"Nah, I'm okay - "

"No, you're not," you spoke sternly, shaking your head. "Baby," you eased your tone to a softer tone, seeing a glimmer of hope spark in his baby blues, "I need you to take a breath and remain in the present with me, okay? Just stand here with me," you watched as he blinked a couple of times; reaching out to hold your waist tentatively. "And stay in the present, okay? Stay here with me."

"I'm so sorry, Peach," he whispered, stepping closer so he could feel your breasts against his chest; caging you with his arms. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, I didn't - I didn't know what the fuck I was even trying to fight with you about. You're not clingy - you're not any of the things I said, I didn't mean it - any of it."

"Calling me desperate?"

"I didn't mean any of it."

"A bitch?"

"Please," he whispered, bringing you in closer so he could rest his forehead on yours. "Don't repeat it, I know what I said, and I'm so fucking sorry for all of it. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm goin' crazy without yah, Peach. I need my best girl, and I don't deserve you, but I fuckin' need you." He sniffled, pulling back to caress your cheek, whispering, "I need you, Peach, you're the only thing that I know - the only thing I can understand, that makes sense to me. I think I just felt stressed and overwhelmed, I wasn't sure what to do - I couldn't find the words, I'm so sorry."

You nodded slowly, "I think we can work through this."

"I don't deserve you."

"Maybe not, but you have me anyway," you whispered, bringing his forehead to your own again. "But you can't do this again, taking anger out on me when I haven't done anything."

"Never again," he sighed, now nestling into your neck for comfort; arms tightening so you were the closest you could be with your head bent to keep his head caressed with yours.

"I don't think we can say 'never', but we can make an effort to leave work stress at work, right?" You whispered softly, letting one around coil around him to keep him close; the other caressing his jaw. "You don't get to treat me like that," you reminded him, "because I'm on your side, Carmy, I'm not the enemy."

"I know," he squeezed you tight.

"And the people doing their jobs are not the enemy," you smirked.

"I know," he chuckled lightly. "I owe Marcus an apology..."

"I'm sure you owe it to the others, too," you mused, holding his cheek as you turned your head to kiss his forehead. "Promise me we're done with that reactive bullshit. It doesn't make navigating a relationship easier on us."

"We're done, we're so fuckin' done with that shit," he whispered, deflating into your embrace as you held him close. "I'm so sorry, baby. I really am."

"I know," you comforted softly. "I forgive you."

"I don't deserve it."

"Hey, hey, this self-deprecating stunt has to end, too. We've gotta go forward with at least some confidence if we're gonna figure this out together."

He nodded, pulling back but keeping hold of your waist. "I am confident about this... About you - about us."

"Hmm?" You gently pushed a few stray curls from his forehead.

"Move in with me - officially."

Your face contorted in mild disappointment, "Oh, Carmen - "

"No, no," he rushed, sighing as his hand flattened on your jaw and cheek again, "just listen to me. I've wanted to ask you for a long time, okay? I've wanted this for - like - fucking years. Hear me? I just," he sighed, "I wasn't sure how to ask. I want this for us, I want us to be together, okay? Officially. I-I want us living together, Peach, okay? I want to come home and just - I want you there. I want all of you," he frowned, tears swelling again, "and all your shoes in the foyer, hair in the shower drain, perfume on the counter, and every-single-way you know how to love me. I was wrong to say you were clingy - and everything else I said. Baby, the last couple weeks, I've felt so fucking empty, so lonely and - just - cold. I've been cold without you. I need you, Peach, I need you with me, and I need you to be exactly you - no holding back. Because you're exactly who I need to love me, I'm so sorry I fucked that up before."

"Carmy."

He frowned, "I'm sorry."

"I know," you smirked, "and I forgive you. But you know it's gonna take more than a few pretty words and some tears, right?"

He nodded, "Anything to make this work again."

You sighed in patience, "Go say your apologies to the others, we've got t'make a stop before going back to yours - and you're going to take a fucking nap."

"I'm fine - "

"Look me in my eye and try to tell me in the past 72 hours, you've had decent, restful sleep."

He frowned, opening his mouth a few times but then sighing. "You know I can't," he whispered.

"Exactly why we're going back to yours."

Carmy paused, brows furrowing as if a thread pulled them together. He asked softly, "Is that a no to us... Living together? Is that why you're calling it 'my' place?"

You offered him a look of patience and leaned in to peck his lips for a few prolonged seconds, promising, "There's your apartment, there's my apartment, and then there's gonna be our apartment. Somewhere that's just ours, 100% us." His mouth stretched in a grin, so you swiftly cut him off, "But you have to ask me again when you've got restful sleep under your belt. I want you clear headed when you make this kinda decision."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed. "Where're we goin' before?"

You swallowed nervously, telling him softly, "You absolutely do not have to go with us, but I think Richie could use a visit out to Mikey's grave. I said I'd take him with some flowers, but you do not have to get out to go with us - not if you're not ready."

He blinked a few times, rolling his lips between his teeth as his eyes dropped from yours. You were about to coo his name and assure him again, when he nodded at you and tried to half-smile. "Okay," he breathed.

"Okay?"

"Mhm. I'll, uh... M-Maybe I can, just, hang back in the car."

"Sure, baby, whatever you're comfortable with," you whispered, leaning in to peck his forehead. "You good?"

"I will be."

"Mhm," you hummed, caressing his cheek again before pushing your hand into his curls. "Now, let's get a move on - I want you to march in there, say you're sorry to your Chefs, and then we'll leave."

"Yes, ma'am," Carmy whispered, leaning in to kiss you - but you pulled back.

"Aht," you halted him with a teasing finger to his lips, "after we've got everything worked out, then you can kiss me."

"You got t'kiss me," he mumbled against your finger; making you hum as you fought off a stretching smile, and lower your hand.

"Fair point - just one then - "

He cut you off by, indeed, pressing a single kiss to your lips, but not pulling back. His hand raised to hold the back of your head, your lips spreading in a grin against his; finding rhythm to move together before pausing to press in prolonged passion.

When he pulled back, you both paused to smile, and when you tried to peck his lips again, he pulled back, teasing, "Aht, just the one."

"Oh, fuck you," you laughed lightly, letting him take your hand before leading you back into the kitchen. The other Chefs lingered, sparing you and Carmy a few nervous glances, making you whisper in his ear as you squeezed his hand, "Go ahead, baby, get it done."

He nodded and called the kitchen to attention, clearing his throat, and beginning to make his apologies. He singled out Marcus, then Sydney, Richie, and Sugar; the kitchen staff all accepting his words and insisting he could take the day off - even the next few days if he wanted! You had to usher him to grab his things a few times, nudging him in reminder and verbally pushing him back into action. That boy's ADHD would truly be the death of him.

"So?" Richie smirked at you as Marcus handed you a packaged box of pastries.

"We're talking it out."

He chuckled, "Good. Get him outta here, Peach, dude needs to breathe."

"I got it," you swatted him away as Carmy exited the office. "But we've got somewhere to be first, right?"

He paused, then nodded and asked in a mutter, "He said okay?"

"He's got time to decide what he wants to do, but he knows we're going. C'mon, get your coat."

Richie met you at the front of the restaurant and with a parting wink to Sugar, you took Carmy's hand, tangled your fingers together, and left to venture to your parked car. Carmy got in the front, Richie in the back, and after a stop at a corner bodega to grab three bouquets of flowers, you drove to the cemetery. Carmy was silent, no music played, and Richie's leg bounced in anxious tension; making small conversation with you about your job in an effort to distract himself.

When you arrived, you pulled up on the access road that you knew was closest to Mikey's grave. Richie spared a glare between you and Carmy before muttering that he needed a cigarette and got out of the car to leave you alone. "Baby?" You whispered, reaching for his hand. "Hey, look, if you don't want to go with us, it's okay. We won't be long... But maybe you want to sign this," you showed him the small, blank name card left in the flowers.

"Why?" He whispered.

You shrugged, "So he knows they're from you."

"Peach," he sighed, meeting your eyes.

"Baby, I know it's silly, I know it's easier to ignore it all. But I'd like to believe it's just a nice gesture for our own closure - it's a signed gift from us, to them... And maybe it's nice to pretend that wherever they are, they know what we've left for them."

Carmy nodded slowly, "I-I don't think... I don't think I can go..."

"It's okay, baby," you whispered.

"But," he sniffled, opening his hand to you, "I'll sign it, if you'll leave it for me?"

"Of course," you rushed, opening your purse to producing a pen for him. The clank card rest on the center console of your car, pausing, swallowing nervously, then scribbling his name as he cleared his throat. He offered you the pen, waited until it was put away, then offered the flowers. "Hang tight, we won't be too long," you whispered, leaning in to rest your forehead. "You okay?"

He nodded, pecking your forehead before letting you get out of the car. You handed Richie his own flowers with a signed card, holding your own and Carmy's; linking arms with Rich to venture up the small grass hill and moved about halfway down the cemetery plot line. When you came to his stone, you understood this was what Rich needed more than you, so, you knelt and laid the two bouquets down before starting to quickly groom the area around his tombstone.

You told him, "I'm sorry it's not much, but I'll be back later for a picnic and a chat. I brought you flowers from me a-and from Carmy. He's in the car, but he's here, Mikey... Give him time," you whispered, brushing dirt from the stone before standing. "Take your time," you told Richie softly, seeing the tears gather in his eyes.

"Thanks, Peach," he whispered, offering you a tight hug. When you pulled back and started to walk away, Richie lowered himself to kneel and lay his own flowers down; hearing him tell Mikey, "Don't gotta worry 'bout us, Mike-Man, Peach is the glue that keeps us together. Shit, she even got Carmy out here..."

You made it back to the car and got in, smiling at Carmy - but dropping it the instant you saw tears in his eyes. "Talk to me," you whispered, reaching for a wet wipe in your glovebox to clean your hands after plucking the grass and brushing off dirt from the grave.

"Why can't I get out?"

You only stared at him for a long moment, unsure what to say.

"I'm here... I'm finally here... Why can't I get out?"

"You're not ready," you nodded, tossing the wipe aside to a plastic bag. "It's okay, Carmy, it's okay to not be ready yet. We can come back when you are," you reached for his hand.

"I think this added to my frustration," he admitted. "I couldn't... I didn't go to the funeral, haven't been here since he was... You know."

"Laid to rest."

"Yeah," he sighed. "Fuck's wrong with me?"

"You're grieving," you relented, nuzzling closer so your head rested on his shoulder. "It's not linear, Carmy, baby, just let yourself feel. When you try to repress your emotions, you lash out inappropriately."

"I know," he whispered, "'M sorry."

"It's not your fault," you promised, the two of you quietly bowing your heads together. You remained as such until Richie got back in the car, and from there, it was quiet as everyone stewed in their own emotion. You dropped Rich back at work before promising to call him later and driving away; heading for Carmy's apartment in the soothing silence, his hand locked in yours.

When you arrived at his apartment, you froze upon seeing the interior's state. "Oh, Carmy, no," you whispered, frowning deeply.

"Looks worse than it is," he deflected. You only hummed and let him lead you to the bedroom; watching him strip and prepare for bed before joining you on the mattress. He crashed almost immediately, sighing in relief as he pecked over your shoulder and collarbone, muttering, "'M so glad you're back. 'M so sorry, Peach."

"I know you are, and I forgive you," you told him softly, carding a manicured hand through his hair. "Just get some rest, baby."

He was asleep nearly instantly. He deflated on top of you, deeply resting enough to not notice you slip out from under him. You cleaned his entire apartment; doing laundry, cleaning, scrubbing, replacing necessities he deemed himself too lazy to pay attention to. You did dishes, cleaned out his fridge, and as you mopped up the floors, the sun set and Carmy emerged from the bedroom.

"Baby?" He mumbled in earnest confusion, sighing in relief when he saw you.

"What? Afraid I disappeared on you?" You teased with a small grin.

"For sure," he mumbled, wiping sleep from his eyes; making your amusement dim when you realized the nerve it struck. "The hell you doin'?"

"You didn't seriously think I could rest knowing this monster of a clean-up job lingered out here, did you?"

"I don't want you t'clean after me."

"Well, too late," you smirked. "You good now?"

"I feel better, yeah."

"Good."

"And I made up my mind."

"Hmm? About what?"

"I'm gonna take some time off work," he nodded, "and focus on us. Get us in a new crib, it'll be nice."

"Think you can handle that?"

He nodded, "I'll have to, you're the most important thing in my life, I can't lose you. So, if I gotta take time off, that's the least of my worries. I'm only here for us, for you."

You smiled at him, setting the mop aside to wrap him in your arms. "I like the sound of that, us making a home together - being able to decorate a new home. But don't let me overdo it, okay? I get all excited and kinda bulldoze my way through projects. I don't want you t'find real reason t'resent me."

"Nah, that ain't possible," he promised quietly.

True to his word, Carmy took three solid weeks off; agreeing to a fourth week as a contact-only consultant. You and he slept in most days, looking at apartments, and not once did he even mention work. He was diligent in his attention, focused on you and you alone; putting in overtime to rebuild that what was broke by focusing on shared interests again. You found a place you loved ready for what was basically immediate move-in, taking time to pack your respected places and prepare for the official start of your cohabitating relationship.

You didn't forget what he said, being reserved in your displays of love. Yet Carmy was different; he was totally clingy the moment you returned to his life. He feared letting you go meant you'd disappear again, feared you'd run away again. He held your hand at every possible opportunity, got you a fresh bouquet of weekly flowers, ran all his errands with you; never went to bed without you, cooked all meals with you in the kitchen - perched up on a counter. Most showers you took together, and almost every night was spent cuddling on the couch or in bed with either a book being shared between you or a new show playing on the mounted flatscreen TV.

Carmy clung because he thought if he showed you acts of his love, it'd allow comfort towards your loving behavior to flourish again - and he was right. It took a little bit of time, but Carmy clung tighter and tighter; ensuring you started to reciprocate before ever easing up in the intensity of his affectionate displays. He didn't want to overwhelm you, but knew you needed the reassurance.

You were cautious, you were apprehensive; tiptoeing around Carmy even when living together before warming back up to him. You didn't need to repeat the words he hurled at you all those weeks ago, not wanting to dredge up repressed feelings, but never letting him forget what he said. Your actions spoke enough, skittish around his affection; something Carmy took note of and despised himself for. He made up for it, of course he did, it was Carmy and he hated tension and conflict in his closest circles of life. Yet it wasn't so easy for you two to move forward, they weren't just words to you.

They were direct insults to you as a person; to you and how you loved others. Carmy had seen your deepest fear and used it as a defense against you - wanting you to hurt the way he was, too. He understood this wasn't acceptable, knowing the next time he resorted to such despicable actions, you'd simply walk away; never dealing with disrespect, so, he needed to be acutely aware of his words.

You would never allow yourself to be someone else's doormat, but part of being an adult is understanding that people were allowed to make mistakes - it's part of being fucking human. How terrible you'd feel if someone held your own mistakes against you, because the truth was, you weren't perfect either.

Part of being in a(n adult) relationship is understanding when someone apologized, it was best to accept and move on because nothing was ever solved by dragging turmoil out. This didn't mean forget what happened, forget whatever emotion was evoked - but to do your part to repair what was broken; no matter who was at fault, it always took Two to Tango.

And in this song and dance, you were ready to sweep around the dance floor if only with Carmy. Because that's what a relationship was; a conscious effort by both partners to work as one, to dance in-sync; owning the art together, as equal partners.

requesting rules and masterlist

The Bear masterlist

Clingy Baby collection masterlist

[ilylovelyz]

housewife! reader w traditional! manly! ushijima makes my knees weak omg. the thought of this man training all day to come home to his little housewife and a home cooked meal!! he doesn’t care that you aren’t done setting the table he’s gonna bend you over it anyways. he’s just so in love w you!

sjdjjwje

this is kinda dark but the thought of him hiding ur birth control pills or replacing them with the sugar pills so he can knock you up oh my daysss like what’s the point of letting him fill your womb if he can’t put a baby in there :(

⍣ ೋ Million Dollar Man

˚ · . dilf!ushijima x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ dubious consent of impreg (?), birth control sabotage, traditional!husband ushijima, stay at home/housewife!reader, kitchen sex (yummy), misogyny (?), breeding, degradation + humiliation, size comparison, size kink, big dick toshi, dacryphilia, cervix fucking, just a whole lotta breeding <3, mentions of pregnancy dur

࣪𓏲ּ i was originally gonna work on an angsty fic for hinata but this was calling me </3 ushijima is so lana del rey

you're screwed up and brilliant you look like a million dollar man

"i'm home." he calmly says, careful to not close the door so noisy.

he takes off his shoes like normal, changing into his house slippers shortly after. he's inhaling eagerly, the scent of well-cooked rice filling his senses.

he walks to the kitchen, his slipper clad feet softly pattering against the natural wood that is his traditional house's flooring. he passes by the doorway that connects to the living room, glancing in and stealing a look that is his first born daughter napping on the floor next to his also sleeping second daughter.

he makes a mental note to not be so loud as they are napping, he knows better than to disturb them.

"welcome home, wakatoshi." you say with that warm smile of yours, eyes crinkling up at the sight of your husband. he softly smiles at you in return, grunting softly in response.

his eyes look over to the stove, a large pot with a cover surely boiling, and then to the rice cooker; which is what he assumes is full of already well-done rice.

he looks back at you curiously, he can only guess what you're making, he doesn't cook often, thats your job as a housewife.

"i'm makin' hayashi rice, you're favorite."

his cheeks can only tingle with shyness, to anyone he might just look ungrateful or monotonous, but it's far from that.

he adores you.

"thank you," he says, taking a few steps towards you until his chest is a few inches away from your face.

he towers over you, you have a tiny frame compared to his almost gigantic one. some have even questioned the two of you about it, stealing a couple of snide jokes here and there.

he can't lie and say that he doesn't find it "interesting." he brings a hand suddenly up to your head, patting your hair lightly. you blush lightly at his affection, leaning into his gentle touches.

he doesn't understand why you still get so shy around him, but he doesn't mind it. he likes that you're so humble and polite, even when it comes to your own husband that you've known since the young age of 17. you're 33 now.

"hm," he hums lightly, leaning down to press a kiss onto your forehead. he places a few kisses on your forehead, temple and nose before he's taking your chin in-between his fingers and tilting your head upwards so he can kiss you on your lips.

it still surprises you, how he can take your breath away from one kiss. as his hands wrap around your upper back to bring you closer to him, you can only think back to the time when the two of you were younger and less experienced, him having less experience than you, so you had to lead him with the expertise you had.

it was cute then, the way he was the one who trembled under your touch, looking at you curiously for the courtesy to touch you.

oh, how time flies. now the two of you own a home together, and have two children together, two beautiful girls, the youngest still a little less than a year old.

while ushijima has always been so stoic and known for it, he, over the many years that have passed, has become twice the man he was those years ago.

it almost flusters you, and you can't help but look back on those younger days with a bittersweet smile, remembering the little boy who would ask to hold your hand.

you fluster at the way his strong hands are tearing your clothes off boldly in the middle of the kitchen, his mouth breathing in your sweet gasps for air as he kisses you passionately.

he cups the side of your face, holding your face still as he all but explores your mouth with his own tongue. you tremble within his hold, your ankles almost giving in weakly just because of a simple kiss.

he notices, and with a squeal, he's lifting you up easily into his arms, walking over to the dinner table, using one of his arms to move aside the dishes you precariously chose for that night. dinner can wait, you guess.

he lays you over the cold wooden table, his hands caressing and rubbing your bare skin. you look beautiful underneath him, eyes already glazed over with tears, mouth red and plush. your neck has fading love bruises and bites, he takes note of it to make sure to go over them once more later.

his hand comes up to fondle your breast, his other running down your torso and down to your back thigh. you mindlessly softly moan at his touches, it always feels good to be touched by him.

but he shushes you, leaning downwards to rest his forehead against yours. "you'll have to be quiet, you don't wanna wake up the kids, don't you?" he whispers softly, in contrast, his fingers are already gliding themselves over your folds, dipping a finger into your already dripping cunt.

you gasp at his lewd actions, an eyebrow raising at his words. "d-don't you think i-it's a bit unfair to say that and then.." you meekly say, trailing off when he adds in another finger, curling them inside and pressing against your sensitive walls.

"..and then what?" he teases, punctuating his sentence by pressing his finger-pads against that sweet spot. your body jolts with pleasure, a hand of yours coming up to clamp over your mouth to muffle your pathetic moans.

"y-you're mean," you mumble out, eyes stinging with shy tears. it has your eyes widening when he's visibly smirking at your words, pupils dilated and dark with pure lust.

"you're so naughty, don't you feel ashamed, as a mother, to be so wet like this on the diner table of all places? isn't this where your kids eat?" he boldly says, adding in a third finger as to worsen his seeming punishment. bastard.

"t-this isn't—it's not–you're such a bastard..!" you stutter out, your free hand coming up to punch lightly against his chest. he lightly chuckles at your words before he returns to his menacing actions.

"why don't you cum on my fingers like this, mama? don't be so loud, you'll wake your dear kids." he says, standing up straight to watch the way your body trembles and jolts with pleasure at his words. like command, despite your own pleas and mewls of disapproval, you're cumming on his fingers like a whore, on his word.

thats how it should be.

you're panting on against the dinner table, hiding your face into the crook of your elbow. you're quickly setting your attention back on him when he calls out your name, opening your mouth submissively when he presses his the same fingers that are covered in your own cum against your lips, feverly sucking up your own juices from his fingers.

you blush once more when he's lightly scoffing at your actions, his free hand coming up to rush his pants and boxers off, freeing his cock and lining himself up to your cunt. "don't be loud, mama," you gasp at his words, his fat tip popping into the tight confines of your pussy walls.

his pace is already ruthless, almost taunting you as he lifts your leg over his shoulder, his cock snugly fitting against your cervix with every thrust. you try your best not to be so loud, but it's a hard task to do, especially when he's purposely abusing all of your weak spots.

his eyes narrow at your state underneath him, grunting against the skin of your calf when he sees a tear run down your cheek. "crying? does it feel good?" he asks menacingly, his free hand coming up to squish your cheeks together degradingly, forcing you to pout within his grip.

it only makes you cry harder at his mean gestures, he never fails to make you feel so little, so small. all count of restrain is lost as you shamelessly moan and cry out at his unrelentingly pounding, cheeks burning greatly as you give into his clear humiliation.

he's almost uncharacteristically grinning at your defeat, bending your leg inwards to your chest, almost bending you in half. you grip onto his forearm for purchase when you're unexpectedly cumming once more, vision going white when he doesn't even slow down.

his right hand comes down to squeeze at your doughy breast, noticing that it's lacking the milk you used to have a few months ago. no, that won't do.

"'gonna cum inside." he declares, his other hand coming down to lift the leg that is dangling off the table so as you get you into the perfect mating press. your eyes are widening bewilderedly at his words, a little shocked.

"b-but i'm not on birth control," you mutter out, but from the way he doesn't falter in his thrusts, it seems he already knows. yeah, of course he knows, he threw them away awhile ago. you don't need those silly pills anymore, you're his wife, your duty is to stay at home, raise his kids, and have as many kids as he pleases.

"t-toshi, utako is not even a year old–ah," you cry out, only to be silenced when ushijima is shoving his tongue back down your throat.

"you're my wife, don't you want my babies?" he asks, stilling his hips, his cock pulled out to the tip. he stares at you expectantly.

you're thinking for a few seconds, he doesn't assume anything in particular except of his cock. you're braindead like that, having nothing but a mommy brain after the last few times he's fucked you so well and good that he got you knocked up.

"..want toshi's babies.." you sob, throwing your head back when you're once again coming around his cock once he continued his thrusts at your words once more, your pussy sloshing lewdly with every movement.

yes, of course you want his babies. that's what you're made for. that's what your lovely existence is for, to cook him a good dinner and then spread your legs for him as dessert. whats a good woman if she doesn't submit to her husband?

he's grateful that you're a good woman, one that is so intelligent yet submissive to him. one that is letting him stuff you fill of his thick seed, letting her hard-working husband fill her yet again full with their third child.

it's just this that you're expected to give, you don't have to do much aside from look after the house and the children you produce, you can do whatever you want with the free time you have left, whether it's the beautiful paintings you create, or the horrendous amount of shopping you do with his credit card.

"i love you," he whispers softly against your ear, noting from the way your chest is rising slowly means that you passed out. dinner still hasn't been served, but thats okay. you've probably had a long day too.

౨ৎ please leave a like and repost with tags

[clock-onyx]

Sol!

"Pfst, and you think we wouldn't be caught? Don't be so silly now, this is just temporary."

INFO (SHORT):

Name: Sol

Pronouns: She/Her

Gender: Female

Orientation: Straight ally

Height: 13' (~396 cm)

Species: Star

Title: Goddess of the Sun

Status: Unknown/Missing

INFO (LONG):

FINALLY!!! The last of the first generation of gods finished!! After being left in the shadows for years I finally drew her I can finally sleep in peace now 😭 essencially all the designs for the gods are done, now its just finishing the demigods of this fucked up family LEL

Actually, out of all the god designs, she was one of the most difficult to design since it took so long LOL, she was gonna look much different but i decided to mess around with the design more than I originally had in mind

She is mainly based off the red dwarf Stellaris is orbiting, tipically being outside observing it from time to time

Sol's the least known out of all the gods, almost never speaking out to the public about issues, promises, changes etc, letting the others take the lead while she did the thinking in the shadows

Shes so unknown that many arent even aware shes the mother of Saxton! Yup! Thats her! Whole lotta mess with that Ill try to get into sometime in the future

Its known in the family that she was particularly distant with both Oculus and Vizion, more so speaking to Veda once they got older, fascinated with their history and origins

Shes seen as this elegant, reserved person inside the family, much to the dismay of Marmura and his terrible attitude, she was clever and took time with descisions rather than jumping on the first boat she saw

One important note is that she soon went missing after Marmura's death, no one knows her whereabouts, not Veda, not Selena, not Emory hell not even Saxton knows where she went, she just packed up and suddenly left with no trace behind

Im gonna admit shes not as developed as the others character wise because I had no clue what to do with her for a while, BUT shes slowly forming into her own character

Heres a no bg version VVV

ANNDDDD since I didnt want to sleep on it forever I also made her her official ref sheet! Makes it much easier for everyone now yay yayyy!!!

REF SHEET OFFICALLY VVV

UHM UHM THATS ALL FOR HER RN THANKS FOR READING YAAAAYY YAYA!!!

[podfeels]

Podfeels Adapt8ion Notes: Episode 4

hello, dare again! just as a reminder for how these posts work, stagelights will be covering the notes as a whole, and if i ever have to pitch in it will be with purple text like this! with that said, lets get back into it!

this episode was sort of the first one we ever did, as the original demo for the project way back when (i think it was like 3 years ago now? how time flies) (yeah... its so crazy to look back on) was this episode. we did however make a few new adaptational changes, as well as re-recorded everything, as basically all of us have grown as actors since then. so before we get into the episode proper, we have an adaptational addition already!

at the beginning of each episode, we hear jess (as Narration and then june) saying the quote from the description of godfeels on ao3

these fuckers.

but since june has come out, we can’t just use the godfeels 2.1 one, and the godfeels 2.2 doesn’t necessarily fit. so we (actually i got sarah to do it!) wrote our own specifically for this episode. “My name is June Eg8ert, and now I know I’m human… but will my friends see it the same way?”

ok time for the actual episode

some fairly minor changes. i’m pretty sure the ellipses were meant to be there to help with direction for the actors but we kept them in in the scriptlog because i think they help add to the vibe of roses skepticism

this change was added to help sort of bring this in line with the epilogues. giving off the vibes she’s experiencing the symptoms she talks about in there. this part of the story takes place several months before the epilogues would have happened, so obviously it’s not as severe but its still present. 

line cut for pacing. id say less PACING and more just... sometimes narration things like this, her snapping her head, can be more cleanly conveyed in audio by just having it be incorporated into the performance. the narration described terse body language, so we nix that and deliver a terse performance!

more cut narration. at this point its kind of just routine lol

not necessarily a change but a very fun thing where junes voice and vriskas voice are layered for this line. this was actually also done with the call during the previous episode but i forgot to mention it.

more narration cuts. honestly though i have listened to this episode more than i’ve read the original version so i honestly didn’t even parse the “honestly rose” bit as a change until literally just now lmao. it flows so well that i genuinely thought it was there in the original

self explanatory. im running out of things to say.

the narration is replaced by door slam and party horn sound effects. champagne was specifically mentioned in the notes in the original google doc to be pronounced “sham-pag-in” which is probably a reference to a thing i dont get. YOU HAVENT WATCHED FUTURAMA!?!?!?

lotta cut narration. u kno the deal by now

another not-a-change but a line that gains a completely new context when combined with the actor swap. she quite literally does sound different. i think thats fun. according to sarah, that line was written back in the day with direct plans on it being in reference to her her, having played both john and june, taking a different performance when playing june. its just also taken on an even more stark meaning with having them be different actors, which i think is goddamn beautiful

just more instances of turning narration into stage directions and sound and emoticons into words and vocalizations

_____

so thats it covered! thank you to stagelights for doing the breakdowns for these episodes! check back tomorrow for episode 5's breakdown!

[southernbluebellereader]

Could I request the 141 taskforce x reader with skin problems like eczema or psoriasis. If not maybe a x reader thats self conscious about their vitiligo

Little Butterfly

A/N: Hi Bestie! Thank you for this! Both my mother and I have psoriasis (mine's more limited to my scalp). But I'll include vitiligo as well. I'll do my best! Side note, I started writing something, but I overcomplicated it, so here is this. I'm sorry if it sucks lol

Master List (tag list at the bottom)

Task Force 141 (Price, Simon, Johnny, Kyle) x GN! Reader with Psoriasis & Vitiligo

Warnings: skin conditions; self-conscious; a sprinkle of angst; a sprinkle of fluff; and a whole lotta love; PLATONIC; SFW)

General Description of Appearance: Vitiligo patches on their temples, kinda looks like little (butterfly) wings, the rest is mostly on their back. Plaque Psoriasis is spread throughout their body (covers about 10% of their body, localized on their scalp, chest, and hands).

Captain John Price

The only one who knows the extent of psoriasis and vitiligo, because he's El Capitán.

Nicknamed you "Butterfly"

You hated that.

Stopped calling you that when you made a face.

He's the first to know when you have a flare up so you can spend the day resting, taking a saltwater bath, etc.

Has heard the words, but doesn't know squat shit about psoriasis or vitiligo, but it scares the shit out of him when you're out in the sun.

Always makes sure you got sunscreen, makes sure he has a bottle of SPF 75 on him and makes sure the rest of the team has the same.

Took way too long putting sunscreen on your back because he was looking at your vitiligo.

"Captain are you done yet??"

"o-Oh yeah, I'm done, sorry."

Helps you put ointment on your scalp

Got scared as hell when he saw you shed dead skin.

Gets on to you for picking on your skin, but is very much intrigued by it.

Keeps the rest of the team at bay in case they ask about your whereabouts or get onto you with nicknames or even ask you about your psoriasis.

Reads more about it. Probably knows more about it more than you do at this point, like Johnny.

Lt. Simon "Ghost" Riley

Like Captain Price, doesn't know squat shit about vitiligo or psoriasis

No. He genuinely doesn't know what either of those words mean until you asked him if y'all could stop by one of the nurse's stations to pick up some meds and overheard you talking to the nurse about your psoriasis.

He watched as you showed the nurse your hands and the back of your ears, seeing little red patches on them. He made a mental note of it, but didn't ask, despite his curiosity.

Noticed that you'd not show up to certain (de)briefings, or trainings. Didn't think of it at first, then asked Price about it, who just said not to worry about it.

Keeps calling you "Birdy" - also stopped when you made a face. Gives death glares that shoot lasers when someone else nicknames you anything remotely related to a bird, insect, or other winged creature.

Got really worried when he caught you in the gym alone and he saw the rest of your vitiligo and more of your psoriasis.

"Y/N, are you ok? Go to the doctor now."

"W-What, why?"

He pointed at your skin, "Doctor. Now."

"Are you serious? It's my psoriasis, Simon..."

"Your w-what?"

"Psoriasis." His eyes widened when you showed him up close. Then turned around and showed him your back, "Vitiligo. The medicine I picked up the other day is for my psoriasis."

Still confused. You briefly explained what they were and a lightbulb went off in his head.

Again still confused, but was more alert of how you behaved regarding the two, especially your psoriasis.

Shoved his bottle of sunscreen in your face that he got from Price when he knows y'all are going to spend a lot of time outside.

Barely lets you go outside when y'all are in Las Almas without getting on to you.

Sgt. Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

Knows exactly what psoriasis is, has a cousin that has it, so he's very familiar with it. But doesn't ask any questions.

Gives you weird ass advice about how to deal with it because he doesn't think the medicines you take for your psoriasis will actually help.

Like Price, freaks out when you shed dead skin

Unlike Price and Simon, does not call you a nickname and is ready to fight if someone looks at you sideways

Guard Dog

Will put sunscreen on you without you asking

Laughs at you when you get mad at him

"Yer skin is your biggest organ, Lad/Lassie, need to protect it."

If and when he accompanies you to pick up your ointments, he'll argue with the nurse or doctor to make sure you get the right one or that it's too strong, to it's not wrong enough.

Like he's ready to fight the doctor about it.

When y'all are bored, you let him color in the little vitiligo patches on your back - think "Elmer the Patchwork Elephant" by David McKee

Sgt. Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Also has no clue what either skin condition is, but is respectful and says nothing.

Caught you having a flare up and dragged you to the nurse, then felt bad when both you and the nurse scolded him,

Literally has no clue what to do - thus making you feel even more stressed out, which freaks him out even more

both of you are stressin

freaking out

Price has to come in and calm both of y'all down

Price put Kyle in a time out while he makes sure you're ok

Gets a booklet from Price to learn about psoriasis.

Apologizes, and asks a lot of questions and makes sure you're ok, especially when you have flare ups.

Still gets freaked out.

Does not want to help you with your ointment, but will watch when Johnny or Price helps you

Asks way too many questions

Thinks your vitiligo is cute - accidentally called you his little giraffe and Simon and Johnny nearly shot lasers out they eyes while Price covered your ears.

Kyle knows not to call you any nicknames. Doesn't even think it.

Like the others, will shot lasers out his eyes if anyone even thinks about calling you a nickname.

Literally thinks you're made of glass and sometimes forget you're a whole ass soldier.

Anyways.

Everybody:

Eventually

Against your will, but you just sigh and accept it

Your nickname will be "Butterfly"

Price will call you his/the team's "Little Butterfly" - we all know you're his Little Butterfly

Johnny and Kyle will call you "Fly" to mess with you

Simon will smack the back of their heads.

You are "Butterfly"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List

@ateliefloresdaprimavera @galagcica @sweetybuzz25 @wisedinosaurpolice @itsasecrets-things @ronbon @lieutenantlashfaz @piper570 @shuttlelauncher81 @thanksbutno98 @gabriellathegreat @kult6 @loadedberetta @sarahs-secrets2 @whore4dilfs @addy3114 @ollie71526483 @blueoorchid

[waaxgiirl]

who is wax girl ?

A LONG OVERDUE INTRO

im jackie/marceline !!

here’s a list of things abt me !!

i’m a transbian !!

i am a MINOR

i have adhd and am symptomatic of the TISM

bassist for a lotta stuff !! pretty ok at it 💯

big scott pilgrim hyper fixation

i LOVE music and anyrhing thats recommended to me i will listen to !!

that covers very basic things

here’s my dni !!

- obv dni criteria

- dsmp 🤮

- EVIL k-pop fans

- u like guns n’ roses /j

ADD ME IF U LIKE:

SPVTW !!!! DUH !!! the strokes, nirvana, sonic the hedgehog, homestuck, celeste, death note, PUNK ROCK !!!!, shoegaze, folk punk, danganronpa, ME 💯💯💯🗣

thank u to everyone who read !!

[whilomm]

I saw the slime post and fallen a little bit in love with you and your passion for algae... Is there anything else you love as much as that, or maybe more algae knowledge you want to share? Please I am respectfully begging for infodumps if you have them <3

(also I hope your day is nice and that the algea trees post getting so many notes wasn't overwhelming for you)

Hello sorry this ask has been sitting in my inbox for literally a year or st but my brain short circuted a bit due to 1. the compliment 2. idk im ushally not that good at infodumping bc I tend to not know a lotta the relevant details like ive gotten into planes and boating and shit but im bad at stuff like "distinguishing between airbus and boeings" or "remembering what the fuck the flight surfaces are called" so if i try to tell you a plane thing itll be a lotta "oh uhhh i forget what its called but-" and "well theres this thing thats reallt cool but i dont know how to explain it so-" and if someone ASKS me to infodump my brain will immediately dump all the info. into the trash. I forget Everything. I forget who I am.

So apologies thank u for the ask and the compliment but due to things being wrong with me I said "....well ill figure out how to respond to this later!" and then i Didnt. I still think the slime tanks are cool tho and I hope the Slime is embraced

[kupokofeine]

wow yall thats a lotta notes thank you so much, thank you for 49 followers too its been almost 3 years

[ribbitdeltarune]

the post like i said. its been 2 days later (maybe a bit more. im a bit late at this point..) But! 14 of november! My birthday !!! :p didnt do anything for myself but i did spend some (more like a ton) time with friends

so ahead will just be rambling . read if u want

Alriiight so. i am. Dead. i dont post very often . Thats bcuz i dont actually have a active online presence when it comes 2 posting lol this is sorta my first time . however i did post a few times on twitter before and got a decent following but that was basically never anyway . Thank you all for (checks notes) 19 followers! That. is a first actually

however i also kinda have 2 apologize since i dont post a lot which makes this account.. uh, semi-inactive? shrug. as i did mention before in a prev post i am holding back a lotta stuff that i havent posted yet . oops! i personally dont like posting irl photos because 1) i am actually dogwater at taking photos, 3) my camera quality sucks and 2) i dont actually draw on A4 paper very often or like notebook paper at all lol. (its this small one thats more like a notebook to write stuff down stuff you gotta remember, an agenda or whatever. not like i care i use it to draw anyway. it aint got lines its just full white paper (sometimes colored depending on the one i buy) so its for drawing in my view.) but the bad thing is most drawings i made of ribbit so far are... On Paper.

Now. I can just upload them as is but i dont like doing that . i can also just make them digital drawings but if you think im capable of doing that without immediately doing something else you may be wrong

Speaking of thats mostly why this acc is also semi-inactive . whenever i DO draw digitally im probably also doing another thing at the same time so i get distracted and then get stuck on doing something else completely and forget i have to draw!!! Oopsies. im also bad at executing things (''man im gonna draw ribbit right now'' (doesnt do it) (its also a 50/50 if i actually do it or not)) so thats part of it. do i Think posting and/or drawing ribbit stuff is a chore? Not really. i actually like drawing stuff 4 this fandom and im attached 2 the characters + the mod anyway so its not like im gonna stop This soon . not even a year in yet!

I also have a lot of ideas so i hop between 'em a lot (i have so many animations/animatics in mind but guess who cant animate and also drawing frames take longer than just drawing sighs)... thats why most posts on here is just doodles so far .

to be fair though i have been in a . Uh. I guess fine. Maybe a bit bad headspace as of a few weeks now so i havent really gotten the urge/want to post rn and who knows how long that'll take to go away anyway. thinking of trying 2 get sum stuff finished and then queueing a few posts just so i can get some brainworms out of ma head . and Who Knows if i'll really do that. Future Is Mystery!

Oh and to add i still need to finish or get to like maybe the 5th chapter for a fic im working on rn so theres that too. im still on chapter 4 (progress is fine. i think ill rewrite the dream segment?) and then i will Hopefully get 2 work on chapter 5. god bless being unable to execute things AND to spice it up focus on things (sarcasm)

i am however kinda busy these days. Schoolnstuff. I get in drawing moods a lot (literally everyday bro i dont get burnt out easily or get demotivated that much bc i just finish it eventually anyway) but i need to pass math to pass the year itself so maybe no art posts until thats done. i might post every now and then though. Speaking of posting! Did you know VeeReMia is actually a pun on viremia which is, ''a medical term for viruses present in the bloodstream''. vee came first as part of the instrumental theme, and then maxine added the other syllables. Fun isnt it (i cant stop thinking about it now)

Thanks for reading . I think thats all. Maybe. Shrug.

Also current pfp is placeholder i also need 2 make one BANGS FISTS ON TABLE REPEATEDLY

[jackals-ships]

Hey, any NSFW headcanons for DualDog?

Totally not because I'm doing a couple pics of Sati, TOTALLY not

hjfkdkd i didn't sleep very much so im giggling bc my first thought 4 whatever reason was

BUT YES ACTUALLY, god where's that post about "sex that's not even sex. we're doing dog mauling each other type shit" or however it went. bc that's them, tho this is a little rambly bc i am corralling The Bees (the minnows...)

SO as a prelim note DualDog like a lot of my ships is also kinda me poking my brain and going why is there no stick emoji hey. hey whatcha doing. whatcha got in there. bc. bitches be working thru stuff tm + there's some humor in my sexuality kinda being ace (subtype; kink) (+ the special interest in kink + fetishes) (ik thats kinda common but it's still So funny)

so dog doesn't rlly Often Have an interest in sex as a Whole, generally looking at it as like. a lotta work for something they can do themself with less Ordeal Of Being Perceived. also it's Sticky. yes they see the irony in being fine being coated in blood

HOWEVER. sometimes they let him go down on them, the moment he gets a little nippy they start kicking tho HF and then he whines at them, they are sooo mean to him, whats a lil biting thighs between not friends-

they're also; 👁️👁️ personified. THEY might not often see the point in being Sticky but they Are fascinated by watching. mentally taking notes of all the noises saturn makes and how he jerks off (".....it's wiggly" "y. yes??" ".............. fascinating. why" "....wwvhat do you mean wwvhy") (they absolutely give him performance anxiety the first couple times bc they just 👁️👁️ unwavering) (one time they called his dick situation pretty and he did NOT know what to do with that)

THAT BEIN SAID. slaps their head. dog (+rt!jackal) gets all of the sadism that im working on not feeling guilty about. they're cataloguing all of his little chirping moans yes but they're also taking mental notes on "which area makes him gasp and whine prettiest when I bite" and "Google search how to ask troll bf to let me stab him (consensually)" "Google search how much blood does a troll like. Actually need"

"Google search how to tell when ur seadweller kismesis is like. actually dying. bc you're doing breath play. and he doesn't have like a humans skin tone-"

i think i actually posted, or drafted but never posted??, a dualdog piercings fic,, he's not about to let them riddle him with holes when he has shit to do BUT. they can add some piercings to his fins or playpiercings <- irl jackal has a needle phobia. and also likes this. The Irony,

they're also just chomping him i cannot stress enough how much all jackals across the board has a Biting/Oral Fixation. hands in my cage. you'll get (some) of ur fingers back

they're very mad they can never quite bite hard enough tho to break skin bc he always pulls them away bc humans have diseases and THEY probably have RABIES

ALSO in the vein of "I think this is a wip somewhere" there does exist an image in my head of dual grinding against dogs thigh bc that's all the contact they're letting him have, they're teasing him about how desperate he is + swatting his hands away when they try to wander to start touching them

in conclusion ur honor i just think he would be very cute crying and whining thanks for joining my tedtalk

[cosmossystem]

❄️, for the ask game!

ask game

thank you for the ask, ill be answering this one (-red)

❄️ Do you have a favorite memory related to your system? (i.e. something that happened in headspace or something that another member did.)

(lotta memory questions lately) (guys i barely remember what i did yesterday) (help)

umm ok heres one i personally like. i had to rummage around our logbook for the exact dates because it has been many moons since then, but this is what i remember:

vann & an unnamed headmate, who for our purposes i will call hook (she/he/they), historically have not gotten along. they are friends now, but it wasnt always like this.

back in the earlier days of our system discovery (like circa-2017) hook was kind of a chaos magnet. one reason (of many) i say that is because back in the day she would constantly pick fights with headmates. and by that i mean they would literally spar with people in headspace and start lighthearted arguments with everyone if she was anywhere near front (which is why im calling them hook.)

side note: fighting might be a big issue for other systems, but its not like that for us. everyone up here generally gets along and abides by the rules, and weve only ever had 2 or 3 actively harmful headmates-- hook is not one of those and we all love her.

our "fighting" and arguing are more of a recreational hobby-- kinda like rap battles where the goal is to win, not to actually hurt the other person-- and this is because being around the same 40 people every day is boring as hell and we are melodramatic people with too much free time. injuries heal quicker in headspace and no one can really die, so when someones fighting, the rest of us just pull up lawn chairs and popcorn and watch it happen. like this:

as for our story, i think it was maybe 2021, at vann's birthday party. i dont remember exactly how things went, but i know that they were both fronting/cocon and doing the sort of half-jabs at each other that they always do, and then vann says something to piss her off and then she breaks his nose.

music stops, record scratches, blood on his shirt, etc. all the party guests were clamoring over ourselves like "wtf? it's his fucking birthday? you would hit him on his BIRTHDAY?" and she had to assure us that "no, he knew i would hit him, that's his fault". so they both apologize, but vann PROMISES her that he will get them back and she just laughs it off.

(mind you, dear reader: hook is an entire foot taller than him and built like john cenas understudy. vann, bless his heart, is built like the pillsbury dough boy.)

enter hook's karaoke-birthday party, later that same year. party dwindles to a close. everyone is chilling around headspace like normal. hook is chatting with me and vann, but i have to step away from front for a minute and pass it off to the two of them... and well...

from across the room i hear a CRUNCH and suddenly two of hook's ribs were broken. shes not even upset. shes kind of just in shock. i was told later that he was flirting with hook and hook, like the dumbass bisexual (/j) they are, fell for it. no one could even get upset because well, he did say he'd do it. so the two of them just laugh it off. hook gets patched up as always, no harm no foul.

and i think thats when they started being actual friends. they did date for a bit but to my knowledge they arent anymore.

i wish every birthday party was as eventful as those two. the good(?) news is that we dont fight much anymore so this is mostly in the past. the bad news is nowadays when we want to entertain ourselves, we do lip sync battles instead. (boooo bring back my medieval fighting entertainment)

-red

[elliliscott]

I am sooooo freaking thankful for fandom

like, not for me, but for all those authors who are just going through the SHIT. not to make fun of any of the things i've read in author's notes, but it's WILD! and i may not read a LOT of fics where absolutely batshit insane stuff happens to our beloved authors, but i've seen quite a few.

and pretty much every time i find that there is a line similar to "i kept to this fic like a lifeline; it's why i survived" and im just like -

fandom is SO FUCKING AMAZING. these authors are going through terrible things, and their storys - their FANFICS - are at least part of the reason they kept going! fandom was their rock, even if they fell out of one fandom, because there's always more fics to write or read. the communities built around fandom is so fucking cool, for ALL of the reasons, and im so glad i found it.

because I get to be part of that, now. I can leave comments and make someone's day, I can leave a kudos and bookmark and GOSH, i part of something awesome, right? fandom can be a tricky place, sometimes, but at it's we're (mostly; i think most of us have a tendency to forgo sleep in favor of some 50k fic we found right before bed XD) what other spaces WANT to be.

Maybe thats not phrasing it right. i dunno, bc i - as stated ealier - have once again forgone sleep for a 60k fic i found before bed, and am vv sleepy rn XD those are my half-assed thoughts. if this has been acknowledged before, that's fuckin terrific. i behind in a lotta things, so giving a terrible reassessment to something someone’s already said is just like me, lol

anyway, gn (or morning; im not a tutor) and thank US (not THE U.S., like, us as ppl - u know what, im done -) for fandom <3

[berriebun]

@dawnryze

I’m so happy that you like my writing! I have another one in the queue that's gonna be popping out here in about an hour or so to wrap up this week’s prompts so far and I can’t wait to see what you think about that one too.

b/c I am super excited about your feedback, I wanted to reply to some of it too pff

for the pets one, the mod is super cute and the pompom is so small tbh? it just zips around the farm and its the most adorable pet mod I have. she’s also my only game file I have where i chose the dog because as much as I love cats, dogs are more fun to write sometimes because they’re super active when written whereas cats give off more of a comfort and cuddle, settle down to read a book kind of vibe in stories whereas dogs will run after you and interact with you and be interested in what you’re doing in a more proactive manner.

for the livestock piece, imma be honest. I was inspired by a video of someone baying at their herd of goats and them responding. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and knew that it was something that tsuru would do with her goats too, I had a lotta fun writing that one even though it's one of my more shorter pieces.

and the poultry an odd animal one seemed like a perfect fit to combine for a prompt because I also really love void chickens a lot! they’re my fav special animal, to be honest (outside of the blue chickens of course lol). so I figured it would be a good chance to just pair them up. and I also love the wizard, I wish there was more in-game vanilla interaction with him outside of just fetch quests and going to his house sometimes to build things and change your appearance lol

[rinneverse]

꒰⚘݄꒱₊ 𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐲𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞 ! · · · ♡

— pairings: heizou, kazuha, dottore, itto x f!reader

— warnings: hickeys (obviously), heizou is a little shit (affectionate), suggestive content but pretty tame tbh, kazuha is a tits man i said what i said, dottore is a little bit (lotta bit) of a sadist, minor bloodplay (?) in dottore’s part, itto also nicks you but it’s an accident this time. this is not proofread btw EL O ELLLLL

— synopsis: how different genshin men like to mark you up.

— notes: technically a part 2 to what i posted on my old blog (found here!). i hope u guys like this as much as i enjoyed writing it <3. i may or may not have started losing steam around itto’s part so if it seems a little lackluster compared to the others, thats probably why and im sorry 💔 i’ll do him justice one day.

THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG! MINORS DNI, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. 🤍

✧˚ · . SHIKANOIN HEIZOU. ༉‧₊˚.

→ heizou is a playful lover.

→ he adores marking you up to let the rest of inazuma know just who you belong to.

→ can and will feign ignorance when you go to complain about the MULTIPLE markings blooming along the smooth expanse of your neck and collar.

→ “h-heizou, c’mon, you know it’s hard covering these up…” you murmur, lacing a hand through his soft locks as he grins lopsidedly against your collar. he responds by nipping at your sensitive skin, pulling a yelp from you.

→ as a response, you tug his hair back a little and the little groan he lets out sends heat straight between your legs. he grins even wider at you.

→ oh, heizou knows the effect he has on you. he knows how to play you so expertly, as if he were a pianist playing a masterpiece at a recital.

→ “pretty girl, i don’t want you to cover them up,” he hums, cupping your face with a hand. he strokes his thumb lovingly over your cheek. “all of inazuma should know you’re mine. i can’t have other men looking at you, right?”

→ your face heats up at his possessive words, pressing your face closer to his hand as if it’ll hide your flustered state from him. if anything, it does the opposite. he giggles and presses wet, open-mouthed kisses up your neck before he claims your lips with his.

→ maybe you would indulge him a little bit. maybe you’d try a little less harder on covering up the numerous markings littering your neck.

✧˚ · . KAEDEHARA KAZUHA. ༉‧₊˚.

→ kazuha prefers to leave hickeys in places only you two will ever see.

→ he doesn’t need the world to know the two of you are together. the quiet whisper of affection between lovers is more than enough for him.

→ that, and he thinks that it is much more intimate to have markings only the two of you know of.

→ “zu, that- ah! that tickles!” you gasp as he sucks a mark right by your navel, hands gripping the plush flesh of your hips as he grins up at you.

→ he kisses a trail up to your exposed breasts, trailing his hands up higher as he stares up at you with intense crimson eyes.

→ “would you rather i kiss you up here?” he murmurs, planting his lips on the sensitive skin of your chest. he sucks a mark right above where your bra covers you up from him, feeling your chest rumble as you let out soft noises of pleasure.

→ all the noises you made was like music to his ears, his incentive to keep going. “may i?” he asks, tucking his fingers under the band of your bra. you nod your head, but he waits until you verbally say, “kazuha, please.”

→ with a melodic hum, he unhooks the garment with practiced ease and goes right back to making the song he loves to hear.

✧˚ · . IL DOTTORE. ༉‧₊˚.

→ dottore is precise with how he marks you up.

→ it makes him feral, seeing you lying there below him, submissive and pliant just for him. letting him play with you as he pleases.

→ loves watching hickeys bloom across your skin, teasingly nipping at ones already prominent and sore just to hear you yelp.

→ every twitch, every sound you make, it burns into his brain. how could he ever forget anything about his beautiful little pet? marking you up so nicely for the other fatui to see. after all, they must know you belong to him and him only.

→ most the time, he’s careful with how hard he bites. we wouldn’t want to hurt you too much, now do we?

→ but occasionally, there’s a nagging in the back of his mind, telling him to do it, do it, you just taste so delicious. and on days when you act out, or days where you get on his nerves, whether you’re aware of it or not—he decides a little bit of punishment is in order.

→ so he gives in and bites down on the juncture between your neck and shoulder, just hard enough to puncture your tender flesh with his canines, tearing a cry from your throat. his tongue laves over the wound immediately, his senses flooded with the copper tang of your blood. he grins maniacally up at you.

→ “it’s okay,” he soothes you in response to your teary eyes, pressing a kiss over the angered skin. “you know i would never do anything to actually harm you. it feels good now after all, doesn’t it, my pet?”

→ he knows that you’re clenching your thighs together. he knows that you’re a little bit of a masochist—he wouldn’t have it any other way. you were his perfect little darling pet.

✧˚ · . ARATAKI ITTO. ༉‧₊˚.

→ itto is another one of the playful lover types.

→ he’s a little worried he might nip you a little too hard with his teeth, but a little bit of reassurance from you goes a long way.

→ that, and there’s that feral oni urge that nags at him to mark you up so that everyone knows you’re his. of course, he loves it even more if you return the favor, letting you add to the many red markings that already adorn his skin.

→ the gang is never surprised when the two of you emerge from some dark alleyway with matching hickeys at this point.

→ “itto, itto, careful!” you gasp softly as his teeth leave pretty little indentions on the smooth skin of your shoulder, the man in question letting out a little yelp before kissing it quickly (and gently) in apology.

→ “sorry bunny, you just taste so sweet!” he mumbles, kissing your temple. you smile up at him with adoration in your eyes.

→ “s’ok, you know i’ve never minded,” you speak softly, combing a hand through his unruly hair. his chest rumbles with what suspiciously sounds like a purr. you grin widely.

→ with the amount of times he’s accidentally pricked your skin, you’re used to it by now. you would even dare venture to say that maybe it felt good. just a little bit.

→ he hefts you up in his arms suddenly and you let out a squeal of surprise, your legs locking around his waist as his hands cup your ass. you drape your arms over his big shoulders as he grins at you.

→ itto also happened to be an insatiable lover—it must’ve been the oni blood in him. you were in for a long night.

© rinneverse (2022). rbs and interactions are super appreciated !!

[tteokdoroki]

— “LESSON LEARNED.” + KATSUKI BAKUGOU.

author’s note(s): a product of me refusing to study and thinking about nothing but bakugou, so enjoy my beautiful little loves and good luck on exams and deadlines if you have them!!

cw: smut, MDNI 18+, degradation, slight size!kink, clit play, tutor!bakugou + sorority girl!reader.

you never quite expected tutor!bakugou to be so rough, so brash. you had heard that his teaching methods were everything other than traditional— kirishima from the frathouse across the street whining to you about the bruises he’d gotten for simply mistaking one fact for another, but you were desperate. you needed to bring your grades up and you’re sure he could do with the extra credit for tutoring you.

tutor!bakugou is not what you expected, you were sure you’d get a whiny little thing like your ex midoriya, who’d shake in his boots upon seeing a darling little sorority girl like you. but bakugou is big, tattooed arms barely restrained by his tight black t-shirt, glasses low on his nose, ruby eyes darkened with concentration. he barely bats an eyelid when you enter the study room. “get out yer material, you’ve got a lotta shit to cover. s’a miracle you’re even still here.” he grunts when you sit next to him, again, barely batting an eyelid.

are the rumours about tutor!bakugou true? surely someone this good looking can’t t be a virgin, couldn’t have never had a partner or had a one night stand. he looks too sinful to be this good— to be a top student with nothing but pretty grades and a squeaky clean reputation, especially in college. so for an hour or so, you put him to the test with a plan you might come to regret. you whine his name when confused, lean over tutor!bakugou to get a ‘better’ look at the material, slide your hand up his thigh and play dumb— so you seem excited when getting something right.

slowly but surely you chip away at the blonde, watching his resolve break until finally tutor!bakugou snatches your wrist from its ‘innocent’ placement on his inner thigh and he yanks you towards him, sinister snarl etching its way onto handsome features. “try that shit again, ‘n i’ll fuckin’ punish you. got that?” katsuki hisses to you, glasses slipping down his nose and his eyes calculating and cool.

you should have been scared, should have backed down while you still hand the chance— “i don’t know what you mean baku, i just want you to help me,” but instead, you push his glasses up his nose and grin stupidly.

“answer the fuckin question, fuckslut.”

tutor!bakugou’s hot voice above the shell of your ear makes you shiver in his lap, heat flushing through your body at the debauched scene. one thing you can note from this tutoring session, is that katsuki bakugou in fact, isn’t a virgin despite what the rumours say and is more than capable handling dumb little sorority girls like you. you find your back pressed against his chest, molten warmth seeping through your clothes is hands force open your plush thighs and delve into the stickiness that hides between them.

“can’t y’hear me, slut?” katsuki huffs, annoyance rolling in waves through his tone. the yellowed pages of great expectations swim before your very own eyes— tears mounting your waterline and lower lashes as the blonde gives a sharp thrust to ‘wake you the fuck up’. he’s big, everywhere not just in his build that you’d observed earlier. no, tutor!bakugou’s cock sits snugly against your gummy walls while they trap him inside of you—you can feel his tip brushing against your cervix, bulging in your tummy while you squirm, spread across thick, muscled thighs. “s’not a wonder why you’re failing, nothin’ but air up in this pretty little head of yers.”

your cunt flutters, he’s right, you can’t even think straight with the pulse of his shaft against your dripping sex nor with his lips ghosting across the back of your neck and the flex of his muscles while he turns the page of your studying materials. your mouth is too wet, too hot, salivating while you try to calm your lust clouded mind and focus. “ba-kugou,” you mewl, the shift of his hips beneath you to get comfortable, sending you into overdrive. “‘m sorry, i’ll try t-to focus from now on...just please...move...”

tutor!bakugou laughs breathily in your ear— sending butterflies in a frenzy in your lower tummy and your tight pussy clamps down at the melody of a sound. “y’think you’re so funny, honey,” his fingers dance across your shiny, wet thighs and place feather light shapes on your puffy clit, causing you to throw your head back in sensitive ecstasy. katsuki doesn’t like that, freehand roughly gripping your throat to pull you back down to your incomplete work. “you really think i was gonna let you make a move on me without you actually learnin’ a damn thing? now i’ve got you stuffed full on my cock ‘n y’got the nerve to complain about it...’m not the one who wanted to mix work with pleasure.”

“I-i didn’t, i’m sorry—“ your voice is punctuated by wobbly hiccups as you shake your head, fighting the sleepy wave of neediness that pulses through your body since tutor!bakugou has cut off your air supply. he knows exactly what he’s doing to you, skirt flipped up so he can see himself beginning to pump in and out of you— prodding at your g-spot. the hand around your throat tightens and even he knows that you’ll need all the oxygen to your brain you can get to answer this simple question.

“then answer the damn question, it’s not that fuckin’ hard.”

you tremble, thankful for the frosted glass windows of the study room. it is that hard, you can’t think with his thick girth stretching you open and two of his hot digits burning circles into your swollen nub. “i cant, s’too much, please just move—“ the words die in your throat, fading into a squeal when bakugou lands harsh spank against your creamy folds— sending your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

“‘m not fuckin’ movin’ in this bitchy, needy fuckin’ cunt until you answer these questions right. dumb sluts don’t get rewards no matter how cute they look split open on my fat cock.” the tone of tutor!bakugou’s voice lowers into an evil growl before his fingers slide up the length of your slit to play with the desperate juices gushing from your hole.

“bakugou—“

“katsuki, sir.” he corrects you quickly, the grip he has on your throat moving up to your cheeks. katsuki squishes them together, forcing the tears to roll freely from your babydoll eyes as he steadies your blurry gaze on the set of work on the desk. “you really must be a stupid bitch if you can’t get this one right, or are my cock and my fingers making you that fuckin’ dumb, princess?”

you nod, not a clear answer in your mind as you wonder how the fuck katsuki bakugou can hold out on you for this long, even when you clench down on him and your honeyed nectar drips between his balls. the whole afternoon is torture, leaving you on edge and the verge of release.

thats your own fault though, guess you should have learned your lesson.