#Still hv no idea where that’s going

[sobashahzadi]

ultra beast appreciation!!

[stoutguts]

headcanon rambling/my personal hc for Johnny's backstory bc I think it'd be interesting also I like the idea of Ghoap where the both of them had a shitty childhood bc of an abusive parent and the both of of them hv trauma/I love angst 💕

CW: drug add\ction, s*lf-h*rm/s*icide, parental/child abvse

Soap was born into a big family in the Scottish countryside, being the youngest with 6 older sisters. His father was a deadbeat, and walked out on him at a young age, being effectively raised by his mom and big sisters. Having strong female influences on his life benefited him greatly in the long run, he grew up to be a very well-adjusted, kind, and respectful man (particularly towards women, as he is a staunch feminist (you go Johnny).

However, on the other hand the only true parental figure in his life, his mother, was a horrible person. She was mentally and emotionally abusive, as well as unstable. She would even get physical with her children at times, including Soap. Johnny was also raised Roman Catholic, though today he considers himself agnostic or a flat out atheist. His mother was incredibly homophobic and transphobic and would use religion to justify her bigotry towards him, leading Soap to hating himself and struggling with self-harm and suicidal ideation for years. Particularly, by cutting himself (he has s/h scars all over his thighs, arms, and shoulders). Has attempted at least 10+ times in the past. Not to mention, he did a lot of hard drugs during his middle and high school years to cope with his mother's abuse. (Particularly coke and heroin). He's come incredibly close to ODing on a few occasions. An addict and a total mess, until his sisters intervened and forced him against his will into rehab.

After 2 or so years he was clean and eligible for the military.

He still relapses from time to time (whether it's self-harm or drugs), and when he does its bad. He even still regularly smokes weed to this day, though it's not nearly as bad as some other substances. It's a wonder he hasn't been discharged, probably because he's too much of an asset.

Ghost is the one to bring him out of his slumps now. Not minding one bit, as all Simon cares about is Johnny's safety and well-being.

Needless to say, he could never see religion in the same light after that. He’s even quite apprehensive and wary of people whom are religious and religion in general.

He and his mother were never close and soon would never get along with each other, as he’s proud and not the type to even tolerate shit from anyone. It was an almost daily occurrence that he and his mom would fight, particularly when he finally reached his pre-teen/teen years, sometimes evolving into full-blown screaming matches.

Being the protective type of person that he is, most of the time he’d get into fights because of his sisters coming to him about how mom had hit them or made them cry (despite the fact he feels nothing but pure hatred for his mum, he has a very deep bond/connection to each and everyone of his sisters and loves them all dearly).

That was what pissed him off more than anything.

His mom could do whatever she wanted with him, frankly he stopped caring and her cutting words no longer held any weight or meaning to him at some point, and being hit was soon the equivalent to getting bit by a mosquito, he became numb. He didn't know when he stopped feeling, but he did. (He of course wasn't entirely immune, she'd eventually break him). But he was determined to stay strong for his siblings.

Bringing harm upon his sisters? No way in hell that was ever gonna fly, and he didn't care if she was his mother or not.

Johnny naturally grew to resent his mother, and to this day he still calls her a “witch” or a "cunt" instead of his mum. Eventually he’d had enough and couldn’t take his mother’s abuse any longer, (she is half of the reason he went into the military as soon as he possibly could, besides it being a lifelong and childhood dream of his).

He kept in touch with his sisters (and still does), of course, calls them everyday or whenever he gets the chance to let them know he’s alive and well and to see how their doing. Visits when he can or when he’s off duty. Though he completely cut ties with his mother after joining the military,—a couple of his sisters would keep him posted on what was going on with her.

Later on, his mother went to go on to be diagnosed with terminal cancer, and passed shortly thereafter.

He attended the funeral up in Scotland, but mainly for his sisters’ sakes. He actually ended up staying in Scotland for a while after that to provide support for his sisters, (emotional or otherwise), and to try to ease the grieving process. Even though she wasn’t the greatest mom or person in general, it was still a tough loss. Though Soap still didn’t regret cutting her out of his life,—it was fucked up but he was glad that she died in a way, and even visited her grave just once after the funeral, by himself, just so he could spit on it. Maybe even say some things he never was able to say to her, half as retribution and half to just get it off his chest.

Ghost is the only one who knows of Johnny's past and his abusive mother, and is incredibly understanding and gentle about it (as naturally it's a particularly touchy subject). On all official stuff regarding his background, the most it ever details is where he was born or that he was raised Roman Catholic. Not to mention, although Soap is a yapper and almost never shuts up, he’s a very private person and just simply doesn’t like others knowing his business (with the exception of Ghost of course).

Even though Johnny didn’t let his mother’s death bother him regarding the funeral and his prolonged visit to Scotland, when he got back he broke down completely.

He stayed strong for his sisters as he felt like he had to and just as he's always done, but the facade came crashing down once he was in Simon's arms again.

He hated his mum, she didn't really deserve his tears, yet she was still his mum. That fact still reigned true even after everything.

And Ghost was there by his side the whole time. Hell, if anyone knows what it's like to lose a family member, it's Simon "Ghost" Riley. Whether they be toxic or not. Simon's heart positively ached for Soap, and they couldn't help but get all misty eyed at Johnny's pure, unbridled grief.

Ghost had never felt so sorry for anyone in his life, and Soap was eternally grateful for Simon's patience, empathy, and it consoling him to the best of their ability. 💖

DADDY ISSUES GHOST AND MOMMY ISSUES SOAP MY BELOVED(S)

[berensteinsmonster]

coverted Toppats to Cowwoys for the hv au

The Cowwoy Posse are a group of cowboys, usually on the outskirts of Red Mesa, who do everything in their power to do good.

Usually they're sent on missions to go help people :) They regularly fight petty criminals or more bust organized crime factions. Or they travel to other locations if trouble arises there. Though not all Cowwoys use the airship or train, if they're skilled enough (such as being of ranger rank) they ride their own horses. Crease and Piercings have their own and they're named Crane and Hoops respectively, those horses are also lesbians.

All Cowwoy members are also required to learn basic survival skills, such as foraging or hunting, for when they take trips across the Red Mesa that'll quickly deplete their resources.

If there's one crime syndicate that have really gotten the most of their attention towards dismembering, it'd be the TVOGXART corporation. And all Cowwoys hate the TVOG.

They're not swindled or easily tricked by promises of riches, because they REGULARLY beat up rich people who are affiliated with the TVOGXART corporation. They've all sworn to do good because as bleak as things can be they want to prove that there is a beating heart of kindness in a world that regularly profits off of misery.

They are kind and they are good. because the hv au society wants people to believe that is no longer possible.

Thank you to @digital-roots for sending me 5 toppats to turn into cowwoy members :) I had a lot of fun doing these, I really love making good-ified mirror characters just as much as I like making evil dopplegangers. I'm so proud of how these guys turned out. like look at them. Theyre so cool and awesome and theyre gonna save the fucking day. even though the world they live in worsens, it's in Cowwoy honor to still try and make it a bit more bareable.

Bonus: original draft sketches

btw just take the messages as like, unpolished draft only for the descriptions of the characters. I was just playing around with the idea process. I think Piercings knows how to use a phone and Ms Hero is (eventually) fine with the Regal Bronzeage since that guy's an actual superhero. The more the merrier. two cakes

Also ignore the message where it says ms hero ues he/him cuz i updated it. ms hero uses he/she because while his pronouns may interchange, her sense of JUSTICE!!! does not :)

Bonus: hey its her sidekicks The Fairy and Wilhelm Krieschen!!! they will get their own post eventually

[dedalvs]

Is there something up with the High Valyrian wiki?

https://wiki.languageinvention.com/index.php?title=High_Valyrian_language

I've had this link bookmarked since ages. I can't seem to load the page. I've tried all sorts of browsers and it is still not working. i wanted to get back into actively learning HV again and duolingo is kinda annoying so. Is there a different page/resource the wiki has moved on to? I also seem to recall an old forum for HV with a bunch of really good resources for it. is it possible for you to provide a link? Thanks so much anyway!!

Good question! This wiki, which you can find here..

...is a labor of love—not just from me, but from a team of dedicated individuals who want to get information about my languages up somewhere more or less permanent, editable by many, and all in one place.

For years I have had a hosting plan from DreamHost. For a fixed fee, DreamHost allows you, essentially, infinite storage. I've got a dozen or so websites hosted by the same DreamHost account. I have to pay for the urls (a yearly fee; everyone pays these), but the hosting itself is covered, no matter if I had one website or a hundred.

Creating a wiki that would function like Wiktionary was my idea. I love Wiktionary, and love the idea behind it. For example, let's say you wanted to look up mate. This is an English word. It's also a subjunctive form of matar "to kill" in Spanish. It's also the word for "saliva" in Swahili. It's also "dead" in Tahitian. It's also a word in several other languages. It's kind of cool to take an abstract form—going just by spelling—and seeing that it's a word in a bunch of different languages, all with different etymologies (some related, of course. For example, mate has something to do with death in a lot of Oceanic languages. In Hawaiian it's make, which looks like an entirely different English word!).

In Dothraki, the word tor is the number four. It comes from Proto-Plains *tur (and so would be tur in Lhazareen). It's also the word for "tower" in Hen Linge (this is one of the words coined by Andrzej Sapkowski, not created by me). In Noalath, from The Shannara Chronicles, it's the word for "wolf", and in Shiväisith, the language I created for the Dark Elves from Thor: The Dark World, it's the word for "sword". While it's true I didn't create the Hen Linge word, I created the others, so you can see it's a form I'm fond of, where the shape is possible.

Anyway, that's kind of cool! And that was the point of the site.

As it happens, the High Valyrian section of the site is…massive. To give you an idea, at the moment, the wiki has over 220,000 pages. Most of those are High Valyrian pages. This is because there's a dedicated team for High Valyrian that has added pages for every single noun, adjective, and verb inflection for every existing word on the wiki. To give you an idea, every verb of High Valyrian has around 200 forms (ipradagon "to eat", ipradan "I eat", ipradā "you eat", ipradas "s/he/it eats", etc.). Every single form for every single verb has its own page. This was accomplished primarily with a program that populated the inflectional pages, but however they got there, they're there.

Certain things on the wiki are templates that need to go through and "check" every single page. Additionally, a webcrawler goes through and checks every single page on the wiki. This requires a lot of RAM. As a result, periodically, the entire website just...shuts down.

Obviously this is not cool. I asked DreamHost about it, and though we have infinite space, we don't have infinite RAM. The first step was to disable all web crawlers. You know about SEO, and how you can do things to increase the page rank of your site? Well, we needed to do the opposite. We needed to make the site disappear from the net, effectively. And we did. This is why even if you type "David J. Peterson wiki language invention" into Google you get nothing. It's like we don't exist. We're there, but you have to know we're there and go to the site specifically. That helped, but our own programs still shut things down.

The second step was to get a private server (technically a virtual private server) for the site. This cost me an extra $25 a month ($300 a year) from what I was already paying. This definitely helped, but sometimes things get to be a bit too much, and so the site still shuts down. This is what you experienced.

You know how Wikipedia begs you for money every year? It's because of this. It's one thing to create an awesome resource; it's another thing for people to actually use it.

Hosting already costs me about $250 every two years, and every year I renew the urls for about 15 websites, which is another $300 a year. If I upgrade the VPS to the next level, it's even more money every year. And that's just me paying it.

Right now, we're in an okay spot. The site shuts down every so often, but most of the time it's more or less stable. Unless I start making a lot more money regulary, that's the way it's going to stay.

So if you go to the site and it's down, I'm very sorry, but it will be back. May take a few days, but it'll come back (as long as I'm alive, anyway).

[hexcia]

tell me about yuor error variant (echo) pretty please - error sans irl

well since you asked so nicely [actually insane about its own AU]

Echo [They/It] is my error variant for my AU hexverse!!

Echo is one of the first characters I designed for this AU [alongside Ink] and initially started off as just a fun redesign as I had missed the UTMV fandom

and then it grew lore

For Echo's lore I switched it up a lot from the original. For example Geno and Echo are NOT the same person [i have way too many issues with that idea in general] and Echo doesn't live in the anti-void

They were found as a kid by a certain scientist that we all hate who was experimenting on displaced AU inhabitants. Its unclear where Echo, initially named Error, originally came from

Coding is a big part of HV and said scientist had been reworking other people's code to achieve his goal. Echo was unfortunate enough to have destruction powers coded onto them. They were essentially a tool, planned to destroy a multiversal threat that is still present in the modern story

To keep them from escaping, Echo was often told that the world is "kill or be killed" but didnt stop them. And yet they were terrified to learn that the multiverse was just as violent as they were told.

A suffering and grieving multiverse isnt kind to someone with unwanted powers, really.

Echo at this point was a mentally unstable teenager so in their Messed up Brain they thought it made sense to destroy anything in their way. Inadvertedly becoming someone they never wanted to be

This carried on for a few years until they crossed paths with Ink. Echo thought they were going to be hurt again while Ink was just curious about them.

This led to a weird sort of friendship between them. Echo trying to avoid Ink and Ink being incredibly curious about Echo's motives in the most lighthearted way possible

Slowly, Echo formed an attachment to Ink as he was the only one to show them genuine kindness. Ink became their favorite person because of this [BPD echo sweep]

After their newfound attachment, Echo slowly started to realize that what they were doing isn't what they wanted. They hated being feared and despised.

It decided to build a new identity for itself and chose the name Echo

Presently, they live in the doodlesphere with Ink and Blue and do more recreational hobbies. Such as sewing and reading

do not be fooled though, it still struggles massively. Echo can barely step into other universes now [it wouldn't be my AU without angst <3]

follow up questions are appreciated if you have any!!

[ashs-reverie]

Helloooo

I saw your post about being super anxious about going to Uni and I related to that a lot, but I’ve made considerable progress with that as my studies went on. So I decided to share the things that helped me :)

• Getting to know the town. I moved somewhere entirely new for university and I was so terrified of getting lost and interacting with people. Everytime I had to leave my apartment I would be an absolute mess. I worried about taking the wrong bus or getting off at the wrong stop and basically everything that could happen. Walking around with low stakes and learning the bus routes and just getting used to where everything was helped a lot. Going somewhere entirely new still sucks but at least I’m comfortable where I live.

• The above also applies to knowing your campus. I used to arrive about 20mins early for most of my classes cause I was so scared of walking in even a little late cause most of the doors are in front in my Uni💀. The first time I went to the canteen I was such a wreck cause I had no idea how it worked. So I went very early so I could figure out how to load my student card in peace, then I hung back for a bit to see how other people got their food lmao. This is till something I do a lot, if I don’t know how something is done or I’m scared of messing it up, I just hang back and watch other people do it first.

• As for talking to people…. I can’t help much there😭. I didn’t make any friends till my 3rd semester, and even then it was more of a I sat with them in class, but they wouldn’t sit with me💀. Anyway, everytime I had to talk to a stranger it was really tough and I had a very hard time maintaining normal back and forth conversations. The anxiety around this kind of eased with time. As I got more comfortable with everything else, the loneliness kicked in so hard and then anytime anybody spoke to me it made me so happy, alongside the anxiety. So the experience wasn’t all negative anymore and I wanted to drag the conversation for as long as I could. I started looking up things to talk about on Pinterest💀💀💀. I’m still not sure why speaking to people makes me so anxious, so I haven’t solved it completely yet. But try to remember that most people do want to make friends too. Things may get awkward but most people have good intentions and I hope that helps to ease your mind.

Give yourself time to get used to the new environment. I can’t even imagine the jump from being home-schooled to this. I hope my meager advice helps in any way at all and I wish you all the best!!!🤍🤍

Girl you have no idea how much i relate to thiss i thought ppl just miraculously just fit in and make friends and its all butterflies and rainbows...i hv the same fears, i was even going to take a major in which there was least amount of talking (presentations,speeches,etc) but i didnt cos my main goal to go to uni was to get out of my shell and comfort zone so here i am still freaking out :,) Thankyou so so much girl i really appreciate you typing all this out for me 😭 that is a really great tip to reach earlier to places to familiarise myself (i used to but i wl pay attention to that more) Now i feel a lot at peacee :)) i will definitely keep all this in mind thankyouuu <33

[squareallworthy]

Triangle Tuesday 6: More on parallels and antiparallels, wonky hexagons, and a couple of conjectures

I had a very busy weekend so I haven't been able to write up the next subject I had planned on. Instead, I'm just going to show you some neat stuff about parallels and antiparallels in a triangle and not prove any of it.

To recap, last week we saw that a special property of the symmedian point K of a triangle is that if you draw parallels to the sides through it, the points where they meet the sides lie on a circle. This is called the first Lemoine circle, and I have labeled its center as point U.

And if you draw antiparallels through K, they also all meet the sides on a circle. This is the second Lemoine circle, and its center is K.

And we can also draw circles through K and any two of the vertices. These circles intersect the extended sides at points on a common circle as well. This is a much more recent result that I learned about here, and we'll call this the third Lemoine circle, with its center at V.

What I didn't mention before is that these three points K, U, and V all lie on the same line, along with the circumcenter O.

This line that connects O and K is known as the Brocard axis. What's more, as far as I can tell, the four points are equally spaced on the Brocard axis. I haven't been able to find a reference to that, and I haven't even tried to prove the equal spacing, so we'll just call that part a conjecture.

Another line that runs through the circumcenter is the Euler line. Other famous points on this line are the centroid G and the orthocenter H.

Not so famous, but still in ways important, is the point I have labeled W, the midpoint of G and H and the center of the orthocentroidal circle. These four points O, G, W, and H are also equally spaced. And (more conjecture) the lines GU, WK, and HV are all parallel.

Again, I have not even tried to prove this, but I thought it made a curious observation and I wanted to share it.

Let's switch gears and go back to the first Lemonie circle.

The blue segments are, remember, parallel to the sides of the triangle. If we join the endpoints of these segments to their nearest neighbors on adjacent sides, we get a self-intersecting cyclic hexagon, in gray. And it turns out that the new segments we have just drawn (red) are antiparallels.

Shall we also try that with the second Lemoine circle?

Yes, we find that the new segments we've added are parallels to the sides. So in both cases we got a self-intersecting hexagon of alternating parallel and antiparallel sides.

So is this another special property of the symmedian point?

Here is a hexagon of alternating parallel and antiparallel sides that I drew starting from an arbitrary point on the bottom side of the triangle. We still get all the vertices of the hexagon landing on a circle.

And indeed this construction works if you start from any point. The symmedian point is only special in that if the three parallels or antiparallels cross at one point, that's where they do it. Hexagons like this are called Tucker hexagons, and their circumcircles are called Tucker circles.

Okay, but what if we made a hexagon like this but only using parallels?

We still get a hexagon, but the points of contact with the sides fall on an ellipse rather than a circle. When three segments meet, they do so at the centroid, and when segments overlap in pairs so that we get a triangle, it's the medial triangle. This hexagon is called Thomsen's figure, btw.

What about using only antiparallels, then?

Looks like it forms an ellipse in the same way Thomsen's figure does. I have no idea what this is called, if it has a name at all. I'm just playing around and didn't even expect it to work.

That's about all I have time for this week. Hopefully this weekend won't be so busy and I'll be back with something more focused.

If you found this interesting, please try drawing some of this stuff for yourself! You can use a compass and straightedge, or software such as Geogebra, which I used to make all my drawings. You can try it on the web here or download apps to run on your own computer here.

An index of all posts in this series is available here.

[coopigeoncoo]

hi!! i just wanted to come on n say that i just absolutely adored ur fics!! a persistent lack of follow through, bottle episode, and the cardinal rule ;-; the last two r such crack fics but somehow is still SO immersive and im just so amazed n curious as to how u even come up with these ideas 😭 a persistent lack of follow through was so beautifully written, it reminded me of andypantsx3’s writing style n fics, tysm for giving us such amazing pieces!! that’s it i hope u hv a good day ♥️

Oh my goodness- you're so sweet! 😭Thank you so much! I'm beyond thrilled that you enjoy my writing and even more tickled that you took the time to send me a message! ❤️

And comparing me to Andypants? Sweet sassy molassy- that's an such top-tier compliment. Andy is such an incredible author and I absolutely adore their writing style and how they're able to weave so much emotion into each and every sentence. I think every MHA author wants to be like Andy when they grow up.

As for how I come up with ideas- hmm. I tend to daydream a lot and come up with lots of little questions/scenarios during my day. Sometimes I try and think about how different characters would react in situations and run that through my head like a play. And then I escalate it by asking "what is the funniest thing that could happen in this scenario?" and run with what I come up with.

So, for Cardinal Rule I had the passing thought that it would be funny if birds didn't like Hawks. From there, I started thinking about what *exactly* that would look like, and found that being able to understand the birds really opened things up for humorous scenarios. And thus, the avian telepathy Quirk reader came to be.

And Bottle Episode was originally going to start as a quick one-shot where Reader and Shouto got trapped in the love bottle, but were able to escape really quickly because they already had feelings for each other. But then I started thinking about *why* exactly a bottle like that would exist and things took a pretty somber turn as I realized that my original concept wasn't funny at all past surface level; it was actually incredibly horrifying (That's the one story that ended up WAAAAAAAY off the path I had been originally brainstorming for.)

Thank you again for taking the time to comment! I hope this message finds you well and that you have an amazing rest of your week, friend!

[junjiie]

can i hv a little more about that mark murder plot.. :o

STOP IT WOULD BE SOOO i dont hv any concrete ideas they were js turning in my head like a washing machine.. but i will yap semi in depth for you now because im bored and may want to expand \(>o<)ﾉ 

semi-big apt complex.. someone’s just been pushed down the stairs or off the roof if we’re going crazy extreme. it’s not a particular big building but it is kinda fancy (ground floor is a lobby type fancy..) and everyone is SHADYYYYY like not strangers from hell crazy but they still have things they’re not telling anyone.

police wrap it up as an open-shut suicide but mark wld fs not believe a bar of it 😭 he’s close to the victim—as in, knows that they’ve got enough people in their bad books that would take it a step further and kill them. he starts subtly poking around, making excuses to try and get into the apt the victim lived in to try and find further evidence and asking questions as inconspicuously as he can at tenant meetings.

speaking of the tenant meetings.. GOSSIP GALOREE they are talking all kinds of shit ant the victim and making the wildest things up that he might even get a bit confused—like yes he doesn’t actually believe victim was killed by a ghost that they’d angered by moving into their old apt but still.. What if..

he starts to think he’s getting somewhere, maybe finds a phone wedged under their mattress and breaks open even more leads, talks to even more people who knew the victim, etc etc. he starts calling himself marklock in his head it’s so serious at this moment. until he finds something that makes him think he’s gone too deep—messages mentioning him. pictures, texts, notes, whatever. he knows they’re about him, and it scares him SHITLESS.

he’s no doubt been working with ( ) this whole time (mayb they also know the victim? started off as awks acquaintances but now they’re partners in crime-solving, or something) but this is when he cuts them off. he’s scared, he’s paranoid, and maybe this is all a ploy? maybe ( ) is who did it?? ( ) used to know where mark kept his spare door key, but now when they go to check he’s removed it. they carry on separated.

until mark goes even further, despite how scared he is, despite how he can’t take five steps down the street without looking over his shoulder, despite how he can’t say hello to the man in the lobby these days because he’s too paranoid, and finds exactly the same things to do with ( )—msgs, letters, etc. they might be next as well. and he’s just pushed them away, blocked their number, and sealed himself off. shit.

shit indeed!!!! shit fuck we’re really in it now!!!!!! he stews over it, still too stubborn to actually reach out, and stays digging. and finds even more on ( ). so much that it’s practically crystal clear the next body they’re finding at the bottom of the stairs or dead on the pavement is theirs. it’s past three in the morning when he makes this discovery, and he’s delirious as he books it out of his apt over to theirs. he knows where they keep their spare key, too—but the door’s already cracked open, and he’s fearing the worst, but tries to stay as silent as possible as he walks in and grabs a knife from the block as he goes. for protection.

which.. he’ll definitely need. walks into the living room with the window overlooking the city—the one he once loved to admire the view from, inbetween trying to solve the murder that got them there in the first place—to find ( ) being held against it, the culprit at their neck. he screams, ( ) screams, the culprit turns and it all really goes to shit. there’s yelling and he drops the knife or cuts himself and maybe ( ) too and it’s all just so dark—and then, the glass smashes. and it’s not him or ( ) that’s just fallen out of it.

it’s almost like a rerun of the months before. open-shut suicide, mark and ( ) putting on their best tearful performances and pretending they begged the culprit not to do it, but they just hadn’t listened. no one took any notice to the forgotten knife shoved under the sofa cushion, and they all just tried to move on.

the aftermath: mark and ( ) dump their phones, pack their things, and move the FUCK out of that apt complex! hopefully in the next there’s no murder, no secrets, and no need for spare keys—they live in the same flat, this time around.

[shadowbannedthehedgehog]

anxiety really is so senseless. i was still in pain probably even more when i got to uni so i didnt go straight to the building w/ my class bc idont usually anyways n i wasnt sure if i was gonna skip class anyways. but i was feeling so ill even if i skipped i likely wldnt hv done anything productive so i went late. n the joy the new teacher wasnt there she was running late. so the regular old teacher had us discuss in pairs as he usually does n oh the person im most comfy speaking with was there so we discussed n like it was good on my part i mean not fluent but a lot better than my stumbling n blanking out and i had ideas and was able to respond to her and it was an actual convo. now while we are discussing in pairs the regular teacher joins each pair to discuss w/ them hear their ideas make corrections etc it's all chill. he was coming by our pair last. oh no longer joy like 20 mins b4 class ends n right as he wldve come by us the new teacher walks in. there were two remaining pairs he took the other set and left her with us. instantly i became closed in i cldnt look up started fidgeting cldnt speak cldnt think. my 'fluid' 'elaborate' responses from b4 became short and with pauses where i blanked. i felt so bad bc it was so obvi n i cldnt look at her at all. n it was like none of tht was intentional i felt so stupid god. and worse yet my pair was getting along with her so well so she ended up just mostly looking at her tho still adressing us as ustedes and i managed once to offer up a short not asked for comment tht was relevant to the discussion sigh. then she saw my socks bc yh i wear colourful socks n she said she liked them n i felt worse bc i cld just mumble thank you sigh. ugh. whatever im not going next week bc i wont be at uni so it's fine. it's just ugh like ppl are always like just speak just do this just do that. ANXIETY IS NOT THAT FUCKING EASY DIPSHIT! and it feels stupid being aware n feeling your body and brain go thru these changes suddenly and not be able to do anything about it like sigh. and it's literally just like she's new and i didnt expect tht so it caught me off guard last week and then she went on to embarrass me in front of everyone so like now there's def anxiety abt tht encounter. but it's still like i just need some time to get accustomed to her. after taking so long to get accustomed to the class with the old teacher yk. like yh hving a brain tht works differently than the situational norm is frustrating fr. and she's also the type of teacher tht makes me anxious bc she's very loud n expressive and jokey which is nice n all but that's not me with my flat affect n takes too long to understand the joke or not realize or react as expected when smth is directed at me in a light hearted jokey manner. which makes me feel worse n like i am notably putting a damper on the class even tho it's not intentional it's just who i am. it's not to say i dont appreciate the atmosphere i just cant participate in it sigh. whatever.

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

I just came from your Tim and Adrien relationship reveal fic from AO3 and I just about to send you a request with a Adrien ship, but you said, not too? I'm not trying to be rude, but can you explain why, please?

So here is the thing and I hope you don't hate me for it but I don't like Adrien. If you go thru my other fics, I don't always write him in a good light. At one point I hated him.

My reasons are stupid and petty. Basically, my rabbit hole into the Maribat fandom began with Miraculous salt fics. This was kinda post s3-ish. Most were based on the part where everyone was taking Lila's side over Marinette. There are ones with a good Adrien but I really like the ones where Adrien kinda suffers by either doing nth or being an enabler for Lila. He realizes too late that he likes Marinette when he sees her dating someone else (Luka, any batboys, Peter Parker). That's where the Adrien salt fics come in. TLDR; I became biased against Adrien/Chat Noir.

The Tim/Adrien one was me doing it for shit and giggles. I got the fic idea as a prompt and thought what the hell. (I was also desperate for any positive validation bc I felt like a huge failure at the time of writing that fic. I am over it now.)

What I learned from that experience was that Adrien was hard to write. Because I couldn't relate to him. He didn't feel like a main character to me. Somehow, I had other people doing the plot work while Adrien felt like he was just there.

The 'no Adrien ship' thing happened bc a few months after that, I got another Adrien ship prompt. To the one who sent that Jason x Adrien prompt, I am sorry I never worked on it. I did try once just to say I did but I couldn't even get one decent paragraph out. I couldn't get into his head. In addition, my bias against Adrien was there stopping me.

Marinette is just easier for me to work with so I usually just stick with her.

I could probably try to write an Adrien ship if it is a good prompt. But I cannot guarantee that it will ever see the light of day.

Another reason this might never see the light of day is that I kinda busy these day irl. I hv also kinda move on from Maribat. The reason that my Maribat fics are still being updated is bc I hv commited and once I commit, I will stick with it for as long as I can.

So I hope that explains most of it.

[willowistic22]

I want yall to consider vet/zoologist crutchie. I’ve always had this idea of him working with animals and the idea suddenly grew and expanded even further when i woke up this morning and decided to turn on nat geo wild. Let me explain.

Crutchie adores animals. The cute, the gross, the peculiar, the dangerous, the docile, you name it. He always had this dream lifestyle where he gets to work closely with animals, whether it’d be in an animal clinic or in a zoo or in conservation/perservation or research in general, and then come home every eveningn to his own place full of his pets.

His first job fresh out of vet school was in fact as a vet. He was hoping for a job in preservation/conservation or at a zoo but seeing that this was his first job, he’ll still take it. And being a vet actually allowed crutchie to handle a variety amount of cases. Most cases are just the regular hose pets or out of states farm, mostly bcs he’s still considered a junior there. But working as a vet was enough to see a lot of cases.

However he still wished to work in preservation. He wants to work with endangered species or rescued animals. And so he went out of his way to look for jobs out of the state in conservation centers. (Idk how that stuff works but you get the gist). Now i firmly stand with the whole crutchie, jack, and race are adopted brothers dynamic. Out of the three of them, crutchie is definitely the brother that would most likely move very far away. But this was out of state. Jack and race were a bit sad that he’s moving away but was supportive of his decision. dw the brothers and the rest of the friends always make time to do life updates through texts or calls.

Imagine their surprise when a couple months in Crutchie’s new job he announced that he was planning on moving to other countries? He’s fairly young when he starts off his conservation career to still be quite active but old enough with experience and knowledge a junior wouldn’t have. He gets recommended by his superiors to work in other conservation centers around the globe. Jack and Race was the most shocked and mostly bcs they’re his brothers. Despite the life updates they give, it’s quite hard to catch Crutchie at the right time to hv a proper catch up conversation. His way of staying connected with all his friends and brothers is by sending random life update texts in their big group chat (basically a big newsies gc) much like what the others have always been doing. Crutchie is too busy to call them himself, and most of the time he is content with not speaking with them for long periods of time. However he always does makes the smallest amount of time to facetime them, especially his brothers. And make time to go back to new york to visit them every once in awhile bearing gifts from where he’s living.

Living like this made him really proud of himsef. Of how far he has come. He was first adopted bcs his biological parents didn’t want a disabled child. Imo in modern era crutchie has a limb reduction on his right leg. It barely formed from just above his knee as a newborn and so his bio parents abandoned him. He was taken in by a couple of foster families first and was only given crutches as they cldn’t afford a prosthetic limb. When Ms Medda adopted him, he was able to get one. He went through a lot of challenges with his prosthetic leg, and even thought he might not be able to get the lifestyle he wanted with it. But when the world turned its back on him, Crutchie gave it a middle finger and fought through. With a job he loves, and experiencing a lifestyle in different countries as he continues with his passion for saving animals. It started from Brazil, then South Africa, then India, then China, then Indonesia, and then Australia. He stayed in Australia the longest though because there were a lot of cool conservation projects he was being recruited on.

All throughout his adventures of being moved around, he acquired two loyal pets he brought along with him. A black labrador with a right front prosthetic leg named Hunter, found limping in the streets of Brazil, and a black blind stray cat named Noir, found in a cat adoption center in China after living there for almost a year (breed unidentifiable other than “black fluffy cat” and Crutchie doesn’t care to find out what her breed is).

He earned his reputation worldwide after being apart of countless of conservation projects in various countries. By around his late thirties early fourties, he moved back to the states. On the outskirts of the state of New York, he settles in a small town near his permanent workplace. A conservation scientists in a wildcat sanctuary where they rescue wild cats (from unethical breeding, bad roadside zoos, disabled by poachers in the wild, the black market, random ppl keeping them as pets, you get tne gist) and let them live freely in their sanctuary till the end of their lives as wild as they want without being put on display, unable to be released to the wild for one reason or another. Crutchie also sometimes comes in to work in a local animal clinic every now and then.

Anyways yeah food for thought on vet/zoologist!crutchie?? Yeah<3

[snekplush]

ROTTMNT AU

Hello yall! I’m new to tumblr so srry if I make any mistakes. Anyways, I have thought of a rottmnt au. I haven’t actually watched the show yet, but I’m planning to. I still know a good bit of the lore tho. So here are my rottmnt au ideas!

Deity au

the four turt bois are gods that have existed since the beginning of the world. Kinda, they hv an order of birth ofc. The first one to have been born was Raphael, who will be the god of destruction/death. Next were the twins, Don and Leo. They will be the twin gods of reality, Don being in charge of time w leo in charge of space. Last was mikey who is god of creation (ironic how the god of creation was born last lol)

Together they made the earth and took care their mini lil planet. Leo makes the space where it will be staying, don keeps time flowing properly. Mikey creates life like plants and humans and other animals and rocks and everything else. Raph brings death. Stuff like earthquakes, plagues, volcano erruptions, tsunamis, anything that causes death/destruction to keep the life and death cycle going. The bros continue to do their god jobs while earth develops. By that I mean humans.

Humans are aware that the turt bros exist and worship them. Bcs of this, the bros get their own special god names which ate like titles. They hv their first names, their true and personal names which are Raphael, Donatello etc you know what they are. Their second name is like their name as a god. Yknow how genshin archons hv personal names and then god names like zhongli and morax? Like that. Basically their name for their identity as a god. Raph - Aleph

Don - Beth

Leo - Gimel

Mikey - Daleth

Time for the bros individual stuff!

Raph is the god of death. He mostly just brings things that cause death like I said before, natural disasters. He has his main weapon (weather its the sais (is that how you spell it?) or the tonfa idk, I choose tonfa) and he can do his mystic power where he has the red bigger version of him, except its amped up to 10 and he can get like as big as buildings. He also has his own scythe that he uses to like help dead souls in the land of the living get to the afterlife. Basically grim reaper (or spiritfarer because yes I know that game)

Don is the god of time (one of the two god of reality) he is in charge of constantly keeping time flowing properly. He can stop time, rewind it, of fast speed it up. Mans is op. He can easily see into the past and even see into the future sometimes if he focuses. He would also have his own place called “the archives” (idk if thats an actual thing in the show so-) where he records as much knowledge and history he can. It is located in another realm made by leo for him. Its also where his lab is and you can bet he has so much tech. His battle shell would be even more advanced with more weapons and features, his wrist thing would also be able to directly connect to the archives and is a full on gauntlet that is weaponized. Same with his shoes. Yes, he has them. He also had a mini clack watch thing that helps him control time, keep track of it, and check out wtf happens in the past and future. Using the clock, he might even be able to see multiple possible future timelines instead of the vague dreams he gets.

Leo would also hv some good gear bcs don gave it to him since they would be working together to not make the world fall into chaos. He makes sure that the space makes sense. Makes sure that the world is following the proper rules of physics and stuff so it doesnt go out of control. He can somewhat warp the space around him. However, he cannot create or destroy, he only changes/warps. He can like make stuf float, change how gravity works, change someone’s memories-This is also how he can make portals and teleport. I like to imagine that other dimensions like the twilight dimension and the prison dimesion happened because baby leo lost control over his powers and sh1t hit the fan. He also has an orb he can use to create one way portals to spy on what is happening on earth. This is usually what he does in his free time if don is not forcing him to help organize the archives.

Mikey is the god of creations and he has his weapon that is made out of solidified flames. His kusari fundo burns any normal mortal who touches it until not even ashes are left. He creates via drawing. He has his infinite sketchbook (dont ask him how it has infinite pages, ask don and leo) and his trustly pen where he draws on it and then brings his creations to life. Of course he could do it without drawing, but its more effective that way and has more detail and can be more planned. He can summon fire and manipulate it. He is besties with mother nature.

All of the bros hv their own place where they live. Raph in the underworld/afterlife mikey in a secluded forest, don in the archives, and leo is homeless and is continuously wandering around. He really likes teleporting to space tho (they dont need to breath) As for April, she met splinter (who has the same backstory as before) and they became friends. She soon came across the bros eating pizza and they just became friends and splints somehow became a father figure to them. I have ideas for an actual fic using the movie (kinda) if yall want. So yeah, thats it.

[hhoneyglasss]

oooh ia with your turning post, but it made me think of other 'turnings under duress' like can you really consent to being turned truly in a situation like lovely's where you've never discussed it before and are literally dying in that moment??

i was thinking abt that too! and tbh, i hv no idea. u’re honestly right, bcuz how r u in ur right state of mind in a situation like lovely’s where the life force has literally been slurped out of u by a bunch of shades. like how r u supposed to hv a clear mind when all u’re focusing on is trying to stay calm???? it’s a blurred line that i can’t really see the answer too.

ig u could argue that it’s a bit different with lovely and vincent bcuz they were partners prior and it was a perilous situation, but even then, lovely didn’t give full consent bcuz they physically couldn’t. and just bcuz u’re partners w someone doesn’t mean u hv a right to their bodily autonomy.

i think a situation like alexis’s and sam’s is slightly clearer to navigate. even though they were friends and it was ALSO a perilous situation, sam literally said “no, i don’t want that.” and alexis took it as a flashing green light and basically said, “no means yes!!! now let me at him!!”

but ALSO— was sam rly able to think clearly either? i mean, i don’t think so— bro had a car door INSIDE of him. could he really think abt how he was going to die when all he was thinking abt was the metal lodged in his torso? u could argue alexis was just trying to save him and meant no harm, and maybe if the situation was different, sam would’ve been grateful for him ‘saving’ her. idk abt alexis’s intentions tho, since we hvn’t met her in the prime universe. but do her intentions even matter when the harm was still done?

i think lovely’s and sam’s situations r more similar than some ppl think— each person just looks back at their own turning w different lenses bcuz of the different response they both had to asking if they wanted to be turned (or, forced, in sam’s case.) lovely looks back on it as vincent saving them, while sam looks back on his as his right to being human stripped from him. and both of their views r valid.

also oops, u probably didn’t expect an essay on the tribulations of navigating consent in a vampiric world LMAO, sry abt the ramble. this has just been rattling in my head for awhile and i was talking abt it w my friend the other day. apologies for u hving to be on the receiving end of my word vomit!!!!! but thanks a bunch for the brain juice 🧃

[strangeswift]

(TW) a lot of my friends and i hv been discussing this recently on mike and whether he could have an ed

what do You think of it?

love yr blog btw <33

TW for ED

Hi anon! Before I dive in thanks for saying you love my blog that's very nice. Okay here we go:

First of all, full disclosure, I have not always had the healthiest relationship with food, so that does probably color the way I see this a bit.

So anyway, this is a loaded question.

Firstly I'd like to make it clear that I don't think the writers intended Mike to have an eating disorder.

Here's why:

If that was their intention, it would have been made far more explicit, as it was with Chrissy. The only "evidence" for Mike having an ED is:

1. We never really see him actually eat.

2. Finn Wolfhard is skinny.

To the first point, I'd like to first say that in every scene we have of Mike eating, he is upset or distracted in some way. So having him pick at his food would make sense for that reason alone from the director's perspective.

Secondly, I watched an interview with Millie (wish I could find it but alas you'll have to trust me. Actually as a matter of fact it might have been during her Hot Ones interview? Anway not important.) In this interview she was talking about filming scenes where she had to eat. And she talked about how eating the same thing for twelve hours straight while shooting the take over and over can be absolutely nauseating. So what she does is either pretends to eat, or spits the food into a bucket after each take, which as you can imagine is unpleasant. So it's entirely possible that this was a factor in the director's decision to not have Finn eating during these scenes. Especially considering my previous point about Mike being upset in the scenes anyway.

Now, let's dig into the implications of some people having the headcanon that Mike has an ED.

One the one hand, if someone who suffers from an ED finds comfort in the thought that a character they otherwise relate to may be experiencing similar struggles, I don't want to tell them not to do that.

However. I feel that a headcanon like that may lead into dangerous territory of the romanticizing eating disorders variety. Especially considering the fact that Finn Wolfhard is conventionally attractive in addition to being thin. It's also worth mentioning that there seems to be a lot of people in the By1er community, especially young people, who take great pride in relating to Mike. And there's nothing wrong with that, but you can probably see where I'm going with this as it relates to the idea of Mike having an ED.

I would like to also raise the question: if Mike wasn't played by a thin actor, would people still suspect him of having an ED / HC him as having an ED?

The answer is no. And the actor's physique has nothing to do with whether the character has an ED in this case. Finn wasn't asked to lose weight for this role. He's just a thin kid, that's just how he looks.

In conclusion, no Mike wasn't written as having an ED. And the headcanon has great potential to be problematic, though there is some nuance there, and I am not claiming that you are inherently problematic if you have that headcanon. I just think it is important to be cautious about the topic of eating disorders in online spaces full of young people.

[beepochi]

ok NOT that i want it to happen but if there was another guy that could catch james's attention n interest enough that he would break things off with jian like what do u reckon they would be like for james to leave jian for them?

itd be real hard for him >:) hes v aware of jians dependance on him + has actively(not that hed admit it) fed into it. so hed be as gentle as possible n he would put real effort into communication, but there would be big feelings of guilt n hed probably start regretting nudging jian into a space where james is kinda 3/4 of his support system n part of that regret would be p selfish since it makes a clean break harder for james. jian would be v confused n obviously rly hurt n hed find it extremely hard to let go uh so james would hv to figure out how to handle that n think that would just involve a lot of gentle, repeated rejection n hed do his best to be patient w that. uh n if it happened to be at a time when he was still paying jians rent, hed offer to keep doing that but jian would most likely ask kendra/des to put him up for a while or smthn cos hed find that fucked up

think james would find himself feeling concern for jian long after any split n hed want to know hes ok n hed find it difficult to stop wanting to be the one who makes it ok. think hed also experience some jealousy if jian got a new bf. also think hed give consideration to the idea of cheating, both initially when he meets this new person n after leaving jian,, :~)