#Simply Because There You Are Standing In Front Of Me As The Only 2 People Standing Inside The Rectangle....Is That You? 
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seasidefallenangel · 2 days ago
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gimme, gimme, gimme a man (2)
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calling bllk boys your husband while you're still dating ft. bachira meguru, alexis ness, karasu tabito, otoya eita, shidou ryusei
notes: part 2 to this, fluff, banter, down bad loverboys, use of "wife" in alexis and karasu's, suggestive in shidou's (he's his own warning)
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༄ bachira:
“megs, please stop moving - yeah, hi. my husband lost his id and we just need a replacement.”
✣ the second those words leave your mouth the cogs in his head are sent into hyperdrive. he’s barely ever thought of himself as boyfriend material, nevermind husband. for you to proclaim it so boldly in front of others makes him incredibly giddy with joy - to the point where his uncontrollable giggles begin to make the rest of the patrons and government workers a bit paranoid.
⁀➷ bachira’s latched onto you like koala as the two of you exit the office after getting the new id and a handful of concerned looks from the other people inside. his grin is so bright it almost hurts your eyes, and all he can say over and over is “husband? i’m your husband, right? when are we getting married? what kind of dress do you want? what’s the color scheme? i have to ask isagi if he’ll be my best man, and -!” you try to shut him up with a kiss, but the second your lips part he goes right back to babbling about your ‘upcoming’ wedding. you made your bed, so guess now you have to lay in it.
༄ alexis: “can me and my husband just get a slice of sachertorte and a mini quiche?”
✣ so, so, in love with you. you’re already his wife, soulmate, reason for living, so hearing you reciprocate his fantasies has him on cloud nine. he’s staring at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and his grip on your hand only tightens at your words. it doesn’t matter if people think he’s moving too fast, if he’s too dedicated to you - because you feel the same way. how could he ever even fathom letting you slip from his grasp?
⁀➷ “what season do you want our wedding to be in?” he asks softly as the two of you sit by the cafe window. despite his favorite dessert being right in front of him, he can’t be bothered to eat it. not when you’re across from him, your divinity blessing his meager existence. the question surprises you a bit as he takes your hand, lightly kissing across your knuckles. your expression is so adorable, he can’t help the small laugh that leaves him when he continues, “we’re getting married soon, aren’t we? i’ve already planned the ring i want for you, and i really don’t want to wait that much longer to make you mine.”
༄ karasu:
“hmm, i think they’re too small… oh, excuse me? do you mind getting a bigger size for my husband?”
✣ amused by how blatant you are about it. sure, he knows he wants to marry you someday, but he didn’t expect you to take these jumps so early. he doesn't mind it at all, though. domesticity has always been in the back of his mind when it comes to relationships, preferring to invest in long term romances than lust-filled flings like a certain friend of his. there’s been roughly a billion fantasies involving married life with you, and there’s about to be ten billion more now that you’ve called him that.
⁀➷ “husband, hm?” he says with a smirk as the store employee goes to grab the other pair of shoes. you turn to him with a raised eyebrow and unamused look, asking if he has a problem with it. raising his arms in defense, he simply chuckles and tells you, “not at all, babe. just wondering how i bagged a cute wife when i haven’t even proposed yet.” you just roll your eyes and turn back to the shelves to compare the other cleats. unable to resist, he stands and rests his hands on your waist to whisper into your ear, “your husband didn’t bother getting you a ring? seems like a scumbag. i’ll buy you one right after this,” before placing a gentle kiss on your lips - and rest assured, he’s true to his word.
༄ otoya:
“if you’re gonna keep flirting with my husband, you can fuck off.”
✣ scared out of his mind. he never planned to have any sort of long term relationship with you yet it happened to naturally. for the first time in his life, he found himself being the yearner instead of having his lovers chasing him down. hearing you call him your husband confirms to himself he’s totally smitten. it’s pathetic and frankly terrifying, but he thinks he’d die if he let you go. so of course, you’re with him the one time he really isn’t flirting with someone else and they won’t leave him alone. just his luck.
⁀➷ as the two of you walk back from the coffee shop, he’s convinced he’s about to see all nine of his ninjutsu lives be cut down with the way you’re steaming. the silence is killing him though, and he simply lets out a shaky “babe?” to test the waters. when you turn towards him with rage burning in your eyes, he knows he’s fucked ; except you take his cheeks between your hands and pull him down, telling him he belongs to you and you only. he’s shaking with how passionate you are, realizing you did believe him and it’s everyone else you don’t trust. heart pounding out of his chest, he feels a bit of relief begin to come back. yeah, he doesn’t mind being your husband one bit.
༄ shidou:
“i’m so sorry about my husband's behavior. he didn’t mean to offend you like that.”
✣ first of all, yes he did. second of all, this is probably the worst mistake you’ve ever made. shidou already has you-induced psychosis, so anything you do to feed his ego and remind him that you also like him back just creates an even bigger monster. he tries to steal a kiss in the middle of you speaking, but you know him too well and drag him down by the ear into an apologetic bow. consider him whipped, cause you putting him in his place is so painfully attractive to him he’s about to get down on that one knee now.
⁀➷ “is that any way to be treating your husband?” he says with a shit eating grin while you tug him by the collar down the sidewalk. the restriction around his neck should be painful, but he loves seeing you annoyed so much that he certainly can’t feel it. when you mutter something about already getting a divorce, his smile drops and he digs his teeth into your neck, making you yelp in pain and elbow him in the stomach. he laughs maniacally before brushing his lips against your ear and telling you, “see? we’re made for each other, babe. hurt me a little more, will ya?”
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gothamphantomgoat · 1 day ago
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arayapendragon · 18 days ago
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how i shift 🦉
it took me years of experimenting, trial and error to realize i don’t need methods, subliminals and guided meditations to shift. while i do agree that these tools can help you shift, because they do work for many people, my recent experiences have helped me understand that all you truly need to shift is yourself, nothing else. and nothing can ever change that. 
you simply need to have an awareness, which you obviously do ahahaha. to shift, you just need to align that awareness to your desired reality. here’s how i do it:
i decide where i want to shift to, and think about that reality for a while
i acknowledge the fact that my desired reality exists somewhere in the multiverse, and that it is possible to become aware of it
i embrace a “fuck it, whatever happens, happens” mindset and let go. i detach from the outcome (to shift)
i become equally open to both waking up in my cr and waking up in my dr. i put neither event above the other, i am okay with either of them happening. if i shift, that’s great. if i don’t, that’s okay. i can always try again. i have all the time in the world to do so. 
i decide that i will wake up in my dr and fall asleep
i wake up in my dr 
i've noticed that each time i used this technique, i shifted successfully. its helped me with 2 intentional shifts, and several other shifts to one-off dr’s and random realities in the past, so i can assure you that this works! :) this is a simple technique for overthinkers or people who don’t like methods. it helps you embrace your natural talent, and proves how easy, effortless, and natural shifting can be. 
here’s my 2 success stories from using this technique:
last october i was taking an afternoon nap and spontaneously decided to shift to my hogwarts golden trio era dr. i fell asleep while affirming "i am" and woke up on the train to hogwarts, exactly as i'd scripted! i was standing outside the compartment, and all my senses were present in that reality. i could hear the train horn, the sound of the people talking, i could see the interior of the train in front of me, and felt the chugging of the train beneath my feet.
this image is very similar to what i saw during that shift
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2. i wanted to shift to my hogwarts legacy dr yesterday night. while falling asleep, i decided that i was going to wake up on the hogwarts express, but was also equally open to waking up in my cr. i didn't mind either outcome. i let go and fell asleep. as i woke up, something felt different. my eyes were closed but i was no longer lying down - i was sitting upright. i was no longer in a still and silent environment - i felt the chugging of the train engine beneath my feet. i quickly realized that i had in fact shifted to my hogwarts legacy dr and was on the train to hogwarts. i shifted back after a minute as i was quite dazed and disoriented, but i shifted nevertheless!
my advice 
don’t try to follow someone else’s steps. do what resonates with YOU, its your journey. 
embrace the process and each step of your shifting journey. demotivation is normal, you’re only human, it won’t stop you from shifting. 
realize that you don’t need anything to shift but yourself. if guided meditations and subliminals work for you, then keep at it! but if you’re not making any progress with them, its time you rely on yourself rather than external aid to shift. the power lies within you, its always been there. 
there's no need to put in effort while doing your method 
simply thinking about your dr and deciding that you want to be there can help you shift
go with the flow, be spontaneous and have fun
stop doing things that aren’t working for you
detach from the outcome of shifting, it will happen eventually, don’t focus on it happening too much
happy shifting! 🩷
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ccsainzleclerc5516 · 1 month ago
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That’s Not What Friends Do (part 3)
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: a little bit of smut
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part 2
"Charles Leclerc? You're fucking Charles Leclerc?"
"Lando!" You jumped off the couch, moving away from him, completely surprised by his choice of words. "Don't talk to me like that!"
"Answer me!" He said in a raised tone.
"No, I don't have to justify myself to you"
"Of all the people? Of all the people in this world, you choose fucking Charles Leclerc?"
"Oh, you're the one to talk about fucking love choices." You fired back irritated with the way he feels entitled to criticize you.
"This is not about me. This is about you dating someone I can't stand!"
"Yeah, it's never about you, and yet somehow everything is always about you!" You said bitterly gathering your things and preparing to leave. "I'm sick of it!"
"Where are you going?" You were almost shocked by his question. What did he expect? For you to stay and continue listening to his complaints? Nuh-uh. You were not one of his girls who would obediently do anything just for a little bit of his attention.
"Leaving, obviously." You said walking towards the door, and he followed you.
"Don't you dare!" He ran after you and just as you opened the door, he slammed it before your face, preventing you from getting out of his apartment.
"Have you completely lost your mind? Let me out, now!"
"Just-just stop, please"
"What do you want from me? First you lecture me about who I should and shouldn't date, and then you won't let me leave. Just so you know, no one has ever treated me as nicely as Charles. Unlike you, I don't fuck around like you accused me of." Your face was red, your body tense from how angry you were. But at the same time, you were also trying not to cry because this was your firs fight ever and it wasn't normal or natural for the two of you. You felt like a stranger was standing in front of you, not Lando. You just wanted to go home, lock yourself in your apartment and cry your eyes out.
"You didn't sleep with him?" Lando asked in a now completely calm tone.
"You're unbelievable.."
"Please..just tell me, I need to know."
"You need to know?" You sneered.
"Yeah because," He took a deep breath in. "I don't want him near you. Not just him, I don't want anyone near you."
"What are you talking about?" You asked confusedly, running your fingers through your hair, moving it away from your face.
"Y/n, I..I know I might regret telling you this now and the very thought of losing you because of this terrifies me, but..I can't stop thinking about kissing you." He sighs, finally confessing everything that's on his heart. He takes a risk taking a step closer to you so that your faces are just inches apart. "You awaken feelings in me that I didn't even know I had. When you're not here, you're all I think about. When you're gone, I just wait for you to come back. I want you all to myself and by my side all the time, y/n."
You were overwhelmed by the emotions and words coming out of his mouth, but also by the sudden change. From arguing to declaring love. Somewhere along the way you got lost.
You wanted to believe so badly that everything he was saying was true, but you knew Lando. You knew how he was with girls. Who's to say you weren't just another one in a row? There was simply too much to lose here so you just stayed silent looking straight into his eyes and trying to control your breathing.
"Please, say something.." He pleaded.
"Do you say that to every girl who visits your apartment?"
"No girls come here. I don't bring them to my apartment, ever."
"Oh, please-"
"I'm serious. You're the only girl I've ever brought here. You're the only girl I can lie next to and just look at. The only one I can picture myself with, the only one I want to be with and the only one I don't have."
Finally, he carefully placed his hands on your cheeks, gently caressing your skin with his thumb. You didn't resist, in fact, it was only when he touched you that all the tension seemed to evaporate from your body and your gaze continued to wander from his eyes to his lips.
"I wanna be better for you" He said softly, almost whispering leaning his head towards you. "Please, baby. Give me a chance, would you?"
Your only response was to press your lips together in the long-awaited kiss that left you both gasping. Your hands were working faster than your mind and before you even allowed yourself to think about what if this didn't work out, your legs were wrapped around his waist as he led you towards his room.
He gently laid you down on the bed and started to take off your clothes without breaking the kiss. Your back arched and you moaned into his mouth as you felt him press himself against you. He could easily read on your face how eager you were to feel him deep inside you.
"You're so pretty like this" He murmured against your neck. "My girl, aren't you?" You nodded as he asked.
"Lan, do something.." You moaned digging your nails into his back.
"Fuck, baby.." He was barely able to control himself. "Lay back" He slowly lowered himself down to the floor, settling between your legs, leaving gentle kisses along your thighs. "I wanna take my time with you"
And he did took his time with you. He took the whole night to show you how much he was yours. You lost count of how many times he made your legs tremble under his touch and he, once again, convinced himself that, for him, there was no one but you.
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myficsareset · 1 year ago
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Love at first sight with Luffy
Love at First Sight (Luffy x Reader)
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A/N : I don't know if this was exactly what you wanted but I hope you'll like it anyway ! Sorry if there's a few mistakes, English is not my first language and I was kinda tired writing this but it was really great to write ! Let me know if you'd like a part 2 !
As you were busy taking orders in the little restaurant you worked in, you heard the door open and turned your head when you heard a bunch of people talking loudly. There were five people now standing at the entrance of the restaurant and you thought that they made quite an interesting group.
As you looked at them, your gaze was immediatly drawn to a young man, a boy that stood among them, wearing a strawhat that covered brown curls. He had a huge grin on his face and was scanning the place, probably looking for a free table.
You stared at him for a few minutes, completly forgetting that you actually had work to do and that part of your job included welcoming new customers.
You hadn't met many people in your life, since you never had the opportunity to leave the small island where you lived, but this young man was probably the cutest you had ever layed eyes upon. There was just something about him that made you impossible to look away.
The brown haired finally turned his head in your direction and you were met by beautiful brown eyes, sparkling with joy and something else you couldn't quite put a name on. The boy had lost his smile and was now looking at you with such wide eyes that you started to feel weird. Your hand tightened on your notebook as your felt your cheeks starting to flush.
A green haired man nudged the straw hat boy who immediately broke eye contact. Your looked away and took a deep breath as if you breath had been taken away.
You opened your notebook, deciding that it was time to go back to work and went to the counter to pass the new orders to your colleagues. You still felt a little weird because of what had just happened but you decided to ignore it and to look around for more orders to take.
You noticed that the only new customers in the restaurant were the group with the strawhat boy.
Your heart started to race when you saw him sitting at the table a few meters away from you, talking cheerfully to his mates. Were you actually going to approach him ? Yes, because it was your job. Why were you so nervous about this anyway ?
You took a deep breath as you made your way to the table and once again your eyes met with the boy, making you instantly blush.
"Hello, what-what can I get for you ?" you asked, looking at him and trying not to show that you were actually very flustered.
The more you looked at him and the more familiar he felt to you. It was a weird feeling but it was actually very nice.
The boy had opened wide eyes and was staring at you without saying anything.
"I didn't know he could stop talking." the green haired man said sarcastically.
"Luffy ? The waitress is talking to you." said a girl with orange hair.
Luffy. So that was his name. You didn't know why but hearing his name felt like music to your ears and you couldn't help but smile a little.
Your cheeks flushed even more as you kept looking at the boy in front of you, who seemed to be totally lost in his thoughts.
He was really beautiful.
Luffy blinked and got back to reality, but he still looked at you like no one had ever looked at you before. His gaze felt warm and gentle, but also very intense.
"Were going to take a bit of everything." he said with that same smile he had earlier, but this time it was clearly addressed to you.
A warmth started spreading through your whole body and you couldn't help but smile back at him, also a little surprised by his request.
His smile felt warm in your heart and somewhat familiar. He really did have a beautiful smile.
Your eyes simply couldn't look away as your thoughts started to race in your head. You had never felt anything like this before.
What was happening to you ?
"Someone's hungry." you replied after a few seconds, both amused and surprised to see that he had ordered the whole menu.
The boy smiled.
"I'm the future king of the pirates so I need to eat enough food !" he said with that same smile plastered on his face.
Future king of the pirates ? That was really ambitious but you thought it was actually endearing. He had dreams and goals and you thought that it added to his charm. And just by looking at him, you just had the feeling that this boy was capable of doing anything.
"I'll get you plenty of food, don't worry mister future king of the pirates." you said smiling.
His eyes widened at the nickname and you could swear that you saw his cheeks turned a little pink.
Wasn't he adorable ?
You decided to look away and took the orders of his friends, before walking away.
You stopped and leaned against the counter of the bar, trying to regain your composure. You heart was beating like crazy and you just couldn't stop your racing thoughts. Your mind was still thinking about Luffy, that beautiful stranger you had just met and exchanged a few words with.
You felt like you were going crazy but most of all, you felt like you were falling in love.
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prdx-invdr · 1 year ago
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୨୧⸝⸝﹕if you call me a fool, then i’ll be a fool.
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SUMMARY! you’ve been in love with park wonbin since the day the two of you met and never found the courage to tell him. why is it that you find yourself yearning to confess the moment someone else comes into the picture?
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PAIRING! park wonbin x fem!reader
GENRE! college!au, slice of life, fluff, angst (an attempt was made), friends to lovers, IDIOTS to lovers omg WC 8.1k
WARNING! swearing, jealousy, y/n likes wonbin an insane amount girl get up, insecurity, anton instigates like it’s his job and he’s up for a promotion, random female idol is mentioned many times (nothing against her!!), not proofread
NOTE! do u guys know what song the title is from lol.. LOL also i had another wonbin fic i wanted to post and deleted it bc it sucked so actually im posting this one as a coping mechanism
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you don’t realize the way you’re staring at the back of wonbin’s head until a voice snaps you out of your trance. “do you know what you want?” shotaro asks you, waving a hand in front of your face.
currently, the two of you, along with wonbin, seunghan, and anton, are standing in line at a beverage kiosk. the latter, having already received his drink, stands to your right while shotaro stands to your left. seunghan recites his order to the employee while wonbin stands idly behind him.
“don’t even bother asking,” anton chortles, lips still wrapped around his straw. “she’s probably gonna have wonbin order for her, like always.” you lightly slap him in the arm after the words leave his mouth, eyes darting to the aforementioned boy standing merely 2 inches in front of you, hoping he hadn’t heard anton’s teasing.
“i didn’t even say anything wrong! he orders for you all the time!” the boy whines, jokingly rubbing his arm where you had hit him.
shotaro lets out a curt laugh at the interaction, knowing that anton’s words held truth to them, whether you liked to admit it or not. “it’s because she’s shy. right, y/n?” he turns to you, attempting to diffuse your embarrassment. one look at the smile on his face and anyone would be able to tell that his words were complete bullshit. the two of you knew that the real reason you liked having wonbin order for you was because you liked him.
however, for your own sake, you sigh and choose to agree with shotaro’s statement, only offering a small nod. “whatever,” anton mutters under his breath, walking over to seunghan who has his own beverage in hand.
now that you, shotaro and wonbin were the only people in line, shotaro grabs your sleeve and gently pulls you backwards, putting more distance between the two of you and the boy who was now placing his order. before shotaro says anything, you know what the topic of conversation is going to be.
“do you ever plan on telling him?” is all he inquires, his voice lowering to a whisper. you avoid his piercing gaze, instead turning to look at anton and seunghan, laughing in between sips of their respective drinks. anton is already nearly finished with his, you note.
when you’re done observing them, you shift your attention to wonbin, who has his arms crossed as he points at one of the cup sizes the kiosk has on display, indicating that it’s the one he wants.
you’re unable to see his face but you’re able to picture it better than anything. the way his lip quirks upwards in an attempt to be polite to the employee. the furrow of his brow as he asks a question.
shotaro sighs at your silence and finds it astonishing how you’re able to ogle wonbin without even looking at his face. that very sigh brings you back into reality, finally meeting the gaze of the boy currently interrogating you.
“he… doesn’t think of me that way,” you slowly tell him, as if the words would physically pain you if you uttered them too quickly. shotaro lets out a noise you can only assume was meant to be a scoff, but being passive aggressive simply doesn’t run in his blood.
“are you kiddi-“ shotaro is interrupted by wonbin holding a drink in front of your face, thus putting a barrier between the two of you. “here, y/n,” the long haired boy hums, not moving from his spot until you take the beverage filled plastic cup. if you didn’t have park wonbin tunnel vision, as shotaro likes to call it, you’d see the way anton is shaking his head and letting out a short laugh in disbelief upon witnessing the interaction. “called it,” he tells seunghan, who only blinks in confusion.
“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, but i remembered that time we went to that other drink place and you said you really liked the strawberry one, so i got you that,” wonbin explains, holding his own straw up to his mouth. he says it nonchalantly, as if you could either finish the drink in about 5 seconds before proclaiming how much you enjoyed it, or you could throw it to the ground and curse at him for assuming the flavor you wanted, and he wouldn’t flinch either way.
“um— yes— yeah, i..” you stutter, and shotaro swears it takes everything in him not to slap his own forehead at your sudden jumpiness. “i like it, thank you. you didn’t have to, wonbin,” you exhale, holding your drink with both hands.
“yeah, well, force of habit, you know?” the boy laughs. “since i’m always ordering for you anyway.” his words cause you to tense and you can just picture anton’s shit-eating grin after he heard what wonbin said. “right, yeah,” you nod, wanting the conversation to be over with. the 5 of you continue walking throughout the mall, seunghan complaining about what a ridiculous amount of time you had all just spent at that beverage kiosk.
“force of habit is crazy,” anton decides to tease you again, earning another slap on the arm. “stop hitting me!”
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besides ordering drinks for you when you hadn’t requested for him to do so, anton has noticed that wonbin also tends to subconsciously let you get away with… a lot.
he doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he rolls his eyes when he walks into the living room and sees none other than you and wonbin, the latter seated on the carpeted floor while you’re situated on the couch behind him, playing with his hair.
“i shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters, barely audible. he’s unsure if he wanted you and wonbin to hear him, but your head snaps in his direction nonetheless. “hey, anton,” you greet him despite knowing that he’d have a lot to say about your current position. he nods his head in acknowledgement before pursing his lips. you brace yourself for whatever comment he’ll inevitably make next, morphing your lips into a straight line.
“you know,” anton starts, and you’re already holding back the urge to groan. “wonbin never lets any of us touch his hair like that.”
“right, because you guys are always so eager to play with my hair, huh?” wonbin quips sarcastically. anton shrugs, although wonbin isn’t looking at him. “so you’re saying if we wanted to, we could?” anton questions, moving across the living room to grab his phone charger, finally remembering why he had walked into the room in the first place.
“nah,” wonbin replies, “not sure why you’d want to, anyway.”
“i don’t see you questioning why y/n wants to do it,” anton insists, already making his way out of the room, pausing momentarily to hear wonbin’s response.
“she doesn’t need a reason,” his older friend says, “she’s y/n.” anton shakes his head and continues on his way. you resume treading your hand through wonbin’s hair as if nothing had happened, but unbeknownst to the boy sitting in front of you, your heart rate had increased at his words.
“he’s just jealous,” wonbin jokes. you only let out a short laugh in response. you wonder how he would react if you informed him that anton had actually sprung up that conversation because he knows about your tremendous crush on the raven haired boy.
“do you think you’d ever go blonde?” you inquire, changing the subject. he lets out a snort and tilts his head to look back at you. you’re grinning, trying to ignore the way your heart does somersaults in your chest.
“i don’t think the world is ready for that,” he laughs.
“what are we laughing about in here?” a voice sings from the door way, ripping your attention away from wonbin. you turn to the perpetrator and lock eyes with sungchan, who sends you a smile. you wave at him and he takes it as an invitation to sit himself down on the couch beside you.
“nothing much,” wonbin answers. your hands finally retreat from his hair and you miss the way his shoulders slump in response.
“right,” sungchan nods, turning his attention to whatever you and wonbin are watching on tv. in actuality, neither you nor him have been paying the television any mind for at least an hour, and only now do you realize that some sort of ocean documentary has been playing this whole time.
a few minutes of silence proceed before sungchan clasps his hands together and stands up from the couch abruptly, startling you.
“man, this has been boring,” he announces, eyes darting between the two of you, seated in the same positions as when he first entered the room. “do you guys even talk?”
“we were, actually, before you walked in,” wonbin mutters, not meaning for his words to come out as sourly as they do. sungchan raises his hands in the air in defense. “hey, my bad. i didn’t realize the two of you were having an ocean documentary date,” he retorts.
“we’re not having-“ you’re about to correct him, only for him to cut you off.
“but, you know, bin,” he says, “i’m not sure how sangah would feel about you having a movie date with another girl.”
you feel like your entire world freezes over the moment you hear those words leave sungchan’s mouth. you quickly rid your face of your crestfallen expression, not wanting to give yourself away.
“who?” you can’t stop yourself from asking, and sungchan just stares at you. wonbin waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head in annoyance. “shut up, dude.”
“wait, y/n doesn’t know about sangah?” sungchan asks, a genuinely confused look crossing over his features. “i thought you guys told each other everything.”
wonbin groans in irritation. “i haven’t told anyone, actually, because it doesn’t matter. you only know because you’re nosy as fuck.”
sungchan chuckles, and you would attempt to let out a halfhearted laugh if you didn’t feel like your chest was aching. you lick your lips and stare questioningly at the side of wonbin’s head.
“look, bro,” sungchan gestures towards you, causing wonbin to turn around and meet your disheartened eyes. his face drops slightly, and you’re not in the correct headspace to try and pinpoint why. “she’s upset because you didn’t tell her!” his friend chimes.
wonbin shakes his head, still looking at you. “she’s just some girl,” he huffs. “i don’t even know her that well.”
you scoff before plastering a wobbly smile onto your face. “i’m not upset,” your voice quivers and you hope that wonbin doesn’t notice it. you’re not sure why he decides to reassure you about sangah— whoever that is— but you pray that it’s not because he’s known about your pathetic crush on him all this time and is now feeling bad for you because he’s currently seeing someone.
of course, only your cruel mind could formulate such a sickening thought.
“i’m just.. surprised,” you conclude with an unconvincing nod. wonbin closes his eyes in annoyance, and you know it’s because of his intrusive friend standing in the doorway. “sungchan, just stop spreading shit around, alright?” he gives him a tired look, finally getting up from the floor. as wonbin makes his way past sungchan in the doorway, the taller boy gives him a playful slap on the shoulder. with wonbin having left the room, you find yourself looking to sungchan with urgency.
“who is sangah?” you plead, trying to keep your emotions at bay. the boy furrows his eyebrows, confusion settling into his features once more. “why do you care, y/n?” he asks. you know that his question doesn’t come from a place of mockery, but rather genuine interest. it hits you in that moment that sungchan, as smart as he is, happens to be absolutely terrible at taking a hint.
somehow, when it came to the long lasting feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends, sungchan was none the wiser. you surmise that he wouldn’t have teased wonbin so openly about another girl had he known about your feelings for the long haired boy.
that, you suppose, you can’t really blame him for.
“um,” you start, “he’s one of my closest friends.” your words are spoken through gritted teeth and clenched fists. “i’m just curious, you know?” the lie comes out easier than you think it should’ve.
sungchan hums, crossing his arms and giving you a curt nod. “just some girl,” sungchan tells you, repeating wonbin’s words from a few minutes ago. “yoon sangah. she’s in our music fundamentals class. like, 2 days ago, i think, she wrote her instagram handle on a slip of paper and gave it to wonbin right in front of me.” your face falls for what seems like the millionth time in the past 10 minutes. you can only offer the tall boy a nearly inaudible hum in response.
“do you think it’ll lead to anything? you know, between her and wonbin?” again, you can’t stop yourself from asking. you feel sick at the thought of playing into the role of ‘jealous, overthinking girlfriend’, and even sicker at the fact that you and wonbin aren’t even dating. what right do you have to be inquisitive about his love life?
still, you can’t help it. when sungchan takes a bit longer to respond to your question you fear you’re treading on dangerous territory, afraid that even the dense boy you’re conversing with may have cracked the code. the grin that he aims at you a few seconds later serves as reassurance that, no, he still doesn’t know anything.
“that’s a good question, y/n dearest,” he pats your shoulder lightly. “i guess only time will tell.”
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you hate yourself for what you’re doing right now.
looking back on the conversation you had with sungchan hours prior to this moment, you recalled him mentioning that sangah had given wonbin her instagram. thus, like any normal person would do in your situation, you took it upon yourself to go through wonbin’s following list in an attempt to find her.
you scroll past your own account, past the accounts of your mutual friends, and a few people who you presume are some of wonbin’s classmates.
when you finally stumble across sangah’s account, your body fills with dread before you even see a proper photo of her.
judging by her profile picture alone, you can tell that she’s pretty. you’re fully looking at her profile now, and your frown only deepens. she’s beautiful.
you shake your head as if it would help ease your racing mind. she’s beautiful, yes, you think, but looks aren’t everything. you find yourself childishly crossing your fingers that sangah had the personality of an evil witch, so that even if wonbin fell victim to her physical charm, he’d be pushed away by her true nature.
you let out a quiet scoff. you can’t believe you’re sitting here thinking badly about another girl just because she might have a crush on the same man you’ve been in love with since the day you met him. in the same sense, you can’t believe that when you say that sentence out loud, it actually sounds a bit reasonable. you blame sungchan, for a moment, drawing the inference that you wouldn’t feel so insecure right now if it hadn’t been for his previous teasing.
you can’t stop yourself when you click on one of sangah’s posts. she doesn’t have many, but the few that she has have seemed to gather thousands of likes. despite this, you take note of the fact that wonbin doesn’t have any of them liked— thank god, you think to yourself. you start to analyze her photos, the faces she makes at the camera, the outfits she wears, the way her hair is styled. when studying her facial expressions, you wonder if she’s made those same faces while looking at wonbin. when taking her outfits into consideration, you wonder if wonbin has seen her wearing any of them and thought she looked particularly nice. whilst examining her hair, you resist the urge to rip out your own. it’s perfect. she’s perfect.
she’s perfect, and from what you can tell, you aren’t anything like her. so what does that make you?
you move to close the app, feeling filled to the brim with self doubt when you suddenly freeze as your phone vibrates. you hesitantly open your dms and your eyes widen as they fall upon the newest message.
[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: why are u awake
your heart races and you momentarily contemplate if wonbin had somehow set up a security camera in your bedroom without your knowledge because how on earth did he know?
you don’t ponder on the matter for long, the aforementioned boy sending another message merely a few seconds later.
[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: u have ur activity status turned on btw
exhaling a breath of relief, you type a response to him.
[3:03 AM] you: why are U awake park wonbin
[3:03 AM] 1bin_02: i just woke up like 5 minutes ago. my y/n senses were tingling and my unconscious body felt a disturbance
[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: kiddinggg
[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: but fr why are u awake
you hold your breath as you type out your next response, choosing to be daring. you decide that, even if it’s only for a few seconds, you’re no longer going to be a coward.
[3:06 AM] you: i was thinking about u
[3:06 AM] 1bin_02: ditto
[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: i know im amazing and everything but don’t let me stop u from getting ur beauty rest 🙄 jk
[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: gn dummy
you decide against saying anything else, shutting off your phone with a sigh. you are a dummy, you think, and the boy who had just given you that title has no idea that it’s all because of him.
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you’re exhausted the next day, concluding that being awake at 3 in the morning despite knowing that you had a class at 8AM was not the best idea.
wonbin is quick to take note of this, poking you on your side as the two of you follow your usual route to your next lecture of the day. “i bet someone regrets staying up until 3AM, hm?” he doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as you swat his hand away. “like you weren’t up at 3AM, too,” you mutter. he clicks his tongue in response. “that was only for a few minutes,” he says, “who knows how long you were awake for, though.”
before you’re forced to dignify wonbin with a response, anton and seunghan walk up to the two of you, the latter offering a wave while the former only smiles.
“where are we headed, guys?” seunghan asks, throwing an arm around wonbin. the boy attempts to shrug him off to no avail. “anton and i wanted to go get drinks and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come with,” he grins before quietly adding, “and maybe also pay for them.”
you laugh and wonbin turns to you upon hearing it, letting out a playful scoff of his own. “can’t, y/n has class in 10 minutes or so,” he turns to the two boys who now have their eyebrows raised in apprehension. “that’s where we were headed,” he finishes.
“and you’re walking her there,” anton nods, his words posing as more of a statement than a question. you can only dramatically roll your eyes. wonbin doesn’t seem to pick up any undertones, only nodding in response. “i might be able to tag along afterwards, though. no promises.”
“well, anton,” seunghan sighs, turning to his friend, “we’ll just have to take shotaro inste-“
the boy is cut off by the sound of a girlish voice calling out wonbin’s name. all 4 of you turn around in unison, and you feel like your heart has physically sunken into the floor. sangah.
wonbin’s at a loss for words for a moment and you want to run away more than anything. you’re not prepared to see the two of them interact, especially after looking at her instagram page last night. “hey, sangah,” is all he says, a smile plastered on his face that pains you to look at.
the girl is practically beaming. “what are you up to?” she grins, her eyes not daring to look anywhere but him. his eyes flicker to you momentarily, who is struggling to breathe.
“i’m walking her—” he gestures to you and sangah finally looks away from him, eyes now trained on yours, “to class. well, i was, before these two showed up.” wonbin waves a hand in anton and seunghan’s direction, the two boys adorning matching confused expressions on their faces. nobody moves a muscle for a few seconds and you’re afraid that your rapid heartbeat can be heard atop of the pin-drop silence.
“oh! my bad,” wonbin clears his throat, “guys, this is sangah,” he gestures towards the girl, “sangah, this is… guys.” he gestures towards his friends. “and y/n,” he gestures towards you for the second time, giving you a tap on the shoulder for good measure. sangah’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and she reaches out to shake your hand. you’re positive that if it weren’t for the freezing hallways of your university, your hands would be sweating, so you silently thank whoever’s in charge of the ac for seemingly always having it cranked up to the max. you and the girl shake hands, her smile noticably brighter than yours.
“nice to meet you, y/n,” she says. “you, too,” is all you’re able to respond with, smile tight.
“nice to meet you guys, too,” she waves at anton and seunghan with both hands and they wave back, offering their own respective greetings in return. awkward.
you cough, attempting to break the silence. “this has been fun,” you press your lips together for a second, “but i’ve gotta get to class. hope you guys have fun at that drink place later, or whatever,” you trail off, the last part of your sentence aimed towards anton and seunghan. “and it was nice meeting you, again,” you add, making eye contact with sangah. she smiles. you don’t say anything to wonbin as you attempt to squeeze past him, but he grabs your arm. “i’m walking with you, remember?” he says. you resist the urge to look at sangah or anyone else in your vicinity for that matter, surprised at his words. this random girl who’s obviously into him is standing only a few inches away and wonbin still insists on walking you to class.
“it’s okay,” you shake your head, unsure. wonbin can tell that you’re beginning to feel upset and he desperately wishes that sangah and even seunghan and anton were anywhere but here. “y/n-“ he starts, you cut him off. “it’s fine, wonbin,” you reaffirm. it isn’t, though.
you begin to walk in the direction of your class and release a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding. deep down, you wanted wonbin to disregard your words and resume walking with you, leaving sangah and his friends standing in the hallway. but wonbin was too polite for that, and you couldn’t even turn around to see if he had continued to engage in conversation with the 3 of them because you felt tears forming in your eyes. stupid, stupid, stupid, you think to yourself.
unbeknownst to you, sangah was able to sense the tension in the atmosphere before anyone had even said anything to her. she kisses her teeth, scratching the side of her head. “i should probably go, too,” she tells wonbin. the boy can tell that she would’ve liked to talk more, but he wasn’t looking to become friends or even acquaintances with her. doing that would only give her the wrong idea, and he didn’t want to have any bad blood with someone he’d be forced to see nearly everyday in class. the boy nods in understanding, giving her a wave. “nice.. talking to you,” he bids her farewell, unsure of what to say, because whatever had just transpired definitely did not qualify as a conversation. the girl waves back with an unwavering smile, walking in the opposite direction you had gone.
“oh, man,” seunghan lets out a laugh he had been holding in, “that was the worst. please don’t ever put me through anything like that again.” anton silently agrees, cringing.
“is it just me,” wonbin starts, ignoring his friend’s remark, “or did y/n seem kind of upset before she left?”
anton stretches his arms slightly, eyes looking anywhere but at his dark haired friend. “wonder why that might be,” he muses under his breath, but wonbin catches it. “what do you mean?” he pushes, looking his younger friend in the eye. anton puts his hands in the air in mock surrender.
“anton, what the hell do you mean?” wonbin asks again, voice tinged with annoyance. anton shakes his head, “figure it out.”
seunghan watches his friends go back and forth, a bit confused himself. much like sungchan, he seems to be completely oblivious when it comes to the way you feel about wonbin.
you’re currently sitting in class wondering why you even bothered to show up.
you knew before you even sat down that you wouldn’t be able to process a single word of the lecture, your mind thinking over your first official encounter with sangah.
ever since last night, you’ve started to dread moments like these— none of your friends being around to distract you, leaving you alone with your own miserable thoughts. it feels as though each minuscule moment of silence is filled with your insecurities being pushed to the forefront of your mind.
what did they talk about after you had left? did seunghan and anton decide to leave shortly after, leaving wonbin and sangah alone? did they grow closer in the small amount of time they were left together? even worse, what if the amount of time they spent together wasn’t small at all? oh god, what if they’re still together right now?
had anton, seunghan or, worst of all, wonbin decided to invite sangah to their aforementioned drink hangout? your mind drifts to the image of wonbin ordering a drink for sangah, the same way he always does for you, and you feel like bursting into tears similarly to the way you had almost done so on your way to class.
and sangah— god, you wanted to hate her so bad. your prayers that she had the personality of a wicked witch were thrown out the window the second she opened her mouth. she was so nice to you. the guy that she likes had openly expressed that he wanted to walk you to class and she still smiled at you. she’s got the most perfect appearance and most perfect attitude and you feel like you can’t compete with any of it.
you check your phone for the first time in approximately 30 minutes, eager for a distraction. you’re dismayed to see only 3 notifications, one from the boy who seems the root of every current problem in your life, and two from sungchan.
[10:04 AM] bin 🫶: everything ok??
[10:16 AM] sungchani: hey
[10:16 AM] sungchani: we’re all gonna hang out on friday night (as decided by me just now) and u will be coming! (also decided by me just now)
you open your phone, typing a quick response to wonbin about how everything is fine (lie) and sending another short message in hopes of steering the conversation in a different direction. you open the two messages from sungchan, shaking your head as if he’d be able to sense your attitude through the screen.
[10:48 AM] you: who’s “we” exactly…. and what will “we” be doing
[10:50 AM] sungchani: don’t act dumb girl… me, you, taro, seunghan, anton and wonbin obviously. was gonna see if eunseok and sohee could make it but i doubt eunseok would wanna and i think sohee’s doing some group assignment lolol
[10:51 AM] sungchani: as for your other question i was thinking about going to the movies yay or nay? (say yay)
[10:51 AM] you: pass
[10:52 AM] sungchani: perfect see u there!
you don’t bother responding to sungchan’s final message, knowing that no amount of opposition from you would deter him. he’d probably drag you all the way to the theater himself if he had to. but you really don’t want to go, feeling drained from the thoughts that have been plaguing your mind ever since sungchan mentioned sangah for the first time. you’d much rather spent your friday night in bed, trying to give your brain a much needed break. maybe if you really felt like torturing yourself, you’d pull up sangah’s instagram once more.
when class ends, you’re shocked to find anton waiting for you outside of the lecture hall. he’s holding a plastic cup filled with chai tea, leaning against the wall leisurely as he sips through an orange straw. he doesn’t look in your direction, which confuses you, because you’re undoubtedly the reason he’s currently standing outside of your classroom.
“lee anto-“ the boy in question cuts you off by lifting his index finger in front of your face, still not looking at you. you scoff in irritation, not wanting to deal with his antics in your current state.
“you’re coming on friday, yes?” he questions, his voice slightly above a whisper. “not if i don’t have to,” you say, your voice at a normal volume. anton, finally looking you in the eyes, presses his index finger to his lips as if to indicate that you need to be quieter. “you do have to,” he nods.
you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why the hell are you whispering?” you scowl, and he keeps his index finger on his lips. you groan before reluctantly lowering your voice to match his, despite the fact that you still don’t know why he wants you to do so. “what’s going on?” you inquire.
“you have to come on friday,” he repeats quietly, “and you’re gonna tell dark star that you’re in love with him.”
you blink. “who?” anton leans his head back in annoyance before mouthing, “PARK WONBIN.” you recoil for a myriad of reasons. “first of all, i’m not coming on friday,” your voice slightly increases in volume, “and even if i was, i most definitely would not use it as an opportunity to confess to wonbin. and why in the world did you just call him that?” you finish, exasperated.
anton only sips his drink, his aura calm and collected. “you’re going,” he answers pointedly, “because if you don’t, dark star is gonna find out either way.”
your eyes widen and you feel like all of the air has left your lungs. “what do you mean by that? you wouldn’t actually-“
“i would, though. if telling dark star about your crush on him would get you to stop pining after him like a fool, why wouldn’t i? and, in addition,” anton fully turns to you, his voice raising to a light mumble, “i saw the way you reacted when sarah started talking to him earlier.”
“it’s sangah,” you deadpan. anton waves his hand dismissively. “not the point. with the way you acted earlier, you would’ve thought they were getting married right in the middle of that hallway,” he sounds concerned as he speaks the words, not looking anywhere but at you.
“i’m not saying that wonbin— dark star, i mean, has a thing for sandra right now. frankly, i don’t think he cares about her at all,” anton continues, “but if you’re that worried about some random girl taking him away from you when they’ve known each other for like, a week, i think that’s a sign that it might be a good idea to tell him how you’re feeling.”
you look down, letting his words settle into your mind. “i’ll come on friday,” you nod, and the boy in front of you smiles at your words, “but i have to give the whole confessing to wonbin thing a bit more thought. i mean, it’s kind of sudden.” anton’s advice actually made sense, you think, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell the boy you’ve been harboring feelings for all this time that you’re in love with him on a random friday night.
“sudden?” anton asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “i think it’s long overdue. fire tornado hector thinks so, too,” he tells you.
you turn to him, dumbfounded. “where the hell are you getting these names from?!”
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friday night comes in the blink of an eye and you’re standing in the lobby of the theater with shotaro, anton, seunghan, and sungchan. wonbin is nowhere to be seen.
“i told him 7PM sharp,” sungchan murmurs impatiently, checking his watch. shotaro turns to anton, jokingly hitting the younger boy on the arm with a laugh. “imagine he just decided to stay home,” he chuckles, “i bet y/n would be relieved.”
“why would she be relieved?” seunghan intrudes curiously. anton shrugs. “i told her she had to confess to wonbin tonight,” he says casually, as if he hadn’t just revealed your not-so-secret secret to an unsuspecting seunghan. the older boy’s eyebrows raise at anton’s words, his lips parting.
“you like wonbin?” he questions you eagerly. “dude, i can’t believe you didn’t know by now,” anton answers in your place as you press your lips together. “and we won’t be using the name wonbin when he arrives. he’s dark star. the codename helps when you’re trying to be discreet,” he finishes.
“yeah, because you know all about being discreet, right?” you reply, voice laced with sarcasm. anton knows that you’re referring to the way he had exposed your feelings for wonbin merely 30 seconds ago, avoiding your gaze as he whistles idly.
“sorry i’m late, guys,” the man of the hour exhales as he walks up to the 5 of you. sungchan studies wonbin, unimpressed. the latter can sense his older friend’s agitation, clicking his tongue. “you’ll forgive me once you find out why i’m late,” he assures, “look who i brought with me.”
you can’t prevent the way your heartbeat escalates, both at the mere presence of wonbin and the words that have just left his mouth. you’re unsure if you even want to find out who he’s brought with him, fearing the worst.
“sohee! eunseok!” you hear sungchan exclaim, excitedly making his way over to the two figures that have just entered the theater. he wraps his lengthy arms around both of them simultaneously.
“guess our invitations got lost in the mail, huh?” eunseok muses, returning his friend’s embrace. the three of them return to where you and the others are standing and sungchan scratches the back of his neck. “my bad, man,” he utters bashfully, “the movie we’re watching is pretty lame. didn’t think you’d be into it.”
“still, it’s an excuse to see you guys,” eunseok shrugs, turning to greet everyone else. sohee does the same, wrapping his arms around you before anyone else.
“y/n! it’s been forever,” he grins, you return it. “it’s been… 2 weeks,” you tell him, hugging him back nonetheless. “i still missed you, though,” you hum. “stop hogging him, y/n!” seunghan teases, “we haven’t seen him in weeks either!”
the two of you release each other, and when you turn, wonbin is at your side. he taps your arm. “why don’t you greet me like that?” he feigns jealousy, pursing his lips. you smile at him, hoping to mask your nervousness, “i see you everyday.”
he rolls his eyes. “that doesn’t mean you can’t miss me.”
“i always do,” you say absentmindedly. by the time your words register, wonbin is already grinning. “ditto,” he mutters, his words meant for only you to hear.
he turns away before you can comment, and eunseok takes his place beside you. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, greeting you. you think nothing of his actions before he leans down, angling his head so that it’s directly next to your ear. “i heard about healing michael’s plan,” he whispers, “the one about getting you to confess to dark star.”
“please don’t start this,” you plead, “i cannot deal with these nicknames right now. and how do you know about that?”
“um,” he starts, moving his head away from yours, “obviously healing michael filled me in on everything. just because we don’t physically see each other everyday doesn’t mean we don’t have a group chat.” he moves back to the previous topic, “he threatened to tell dark star about how you’re madly in love with him, right? he’s bluffing,” eunseok explains, “if you confess to dark star tonight, it should be because you really love him. not because anton frightened you into doing it.”
you nod at eunseok’s words, unsure. “and,” he continues, “it shouldn’t be about some other girl that might like him, either.” he takes note of the way your eyes widen a fraction. “yeah, anton told me about that, too,” he nods as you make a mental reminder to yell at anton later for airing out your business.
“what i’m saying, y/n, is make sure that you’re telling him how you feel, not for anyone else, but for you. well, and for him. and for you and him, together,” eunseok concludes, “don’t let healing michael or sandy get in the way of it.”
“it’s sangah,” you sigh, in awe of the fact that you’ve had to correct both him and anton. sungchan appears to have heard your final words, perking up at the mention of wonbin’s classmate.
“sangah? we’re talking about sangah?” he blurts out, turning to wonbin with a smile. “bro, we totally should’ve invited her,” he jokes, slapping his friend on the arm, “seeing her and wonbin interact in the theater would’ve been hilarious.” everyone grows tense at sungchan’s teasing— he was somehow still the only one unaware of your feelings for wonbin.
wonbin only shakes his head in response, his first instinct being to look over at you. you’re wearing that same disheartened look on your face as the first time you found out about sangah, and he can hardly breathe. his eyes narrow at the sight of eunseok’s arm still hanging off your shoulders.
“sungchan, when does the movie start? we’ve been standing here for a while,” shotaro states, attempting to alleviate the situation. “oh, we still have about,” sungchan checks the time on his watch, “ten minutes before the trailers even start playing,” he responds.
shotaro ushers the group over to the concession counter, quickly making some excuse about everyone needing to choose their snacks for the movie. “amateurs,” sungchan mutters, “who doesn’t bring their own snacks to the movies?”
wonbin finds his place beside you again, briefly studying your features. he notices the way you stand stiffly in your spot and the slight wrinkle between your brows. “hey,” he tries to get your attention. your eyes soften as they meet his that are flooded with worry. “i’m sorry,” he frowns, “about what happened back there. i don’t know why he keeps mentioning her.”
you’re puzzled and, yet again, asking yourself if he’s apologizing because he knows that you have feelings for him or if it’s because he still thinks you’re upset that he didn’t tell you about sangah sooner.
you prayed that he wasn’t apologizing due to the former, but why would he even need to apologize if it was the latter? if nothing was going on between wonbin and sangah, he had no reason to tell you about her. you press your lips into a tight line. maybe that was it— something was going on between them. that’s why he’s saying sorry to you right now, because he regrets not telling you before when you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends.
and that’s all you’ll ever be to him, because you were too much of a coward to confess to him when you had the chance. you think about how disappointed your friends are going to be once you break the news to them that you wouldn’t be confessing to wonbin tonight, or ever.
“don’t apologize, wonbin,” you quietly tell him, and he wonders why it seems as though you’re about to cry. he shakes his head, getting the sense that you misunderstood his words. he looks back at your mutual friend group, seeing that they’re all preoccupied. wonbin seizes the opportunity, grabbing your hand and taking you to a secluded area of the theater.
“please don’t tell me not to apologize,” he breathes, “because i have so much to apologize to you for.”
you’re confused and concerned, your lips parting slightly. you don’t have the chance to savor the feeling of wonbin’s hand still holding yours because you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever words he’s about to say. this is it, you tell yourself. you stare at the ground, anticipating the feeling of disappointment and rejection.
“i like you so much.”
you stop breathing as the words leave wonbin’s mouth. you’re terrified to look up, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly. he responds to your unvoiced worries by repeating the statement.
“i like you so much, and i’m sorry for holding it in this long,” he says breathlessly, “i’m sorry for letting sungchan talk about sangah all the time, because i didn’t want you to think that i could ever like anyone else.”
he continues despite your silence. “and i’m sorry for telling you all of this in a movie theater, of all places. i’ve been psyching myself up for weeks, but i couldn’t stand the thought of you not knowing any longer. i’m tired of misunderstandings.”
he finally takes a deep breath, and you look up at him for the first time. “are you serious?” is all you’re able to say. you want to be 100% sure that your mind isn’t being as cruel as it normally is when it comes to park wonbin.
he nods, appearing to be just as nervous as you are, and you think that’s good enough of an indicator that he’s not joking.
“you fool,” you breath out in utter disbelief, not knowing if your words are directed at wonbin or yourself. the boy looks troubled for a moment before he hears a noise similar to a sob leave your mouth.
you hide your face with your hands. “i was supposed to be the one to confess to you.”
it’s wonbin’s turn to be silent now, listening to you rant. “it was this whole thing— healing michael, dark star.. eunseok knew about it, and shotaro..” you trail off. your words don’t even make sense to yourself, and you doubt they make any sense to the boy in front of you. “my god, wonbin— i’ve liked you since the day i met you!” you cry, hands still obstructing your vision.
wonbin hesitantly takes it upon himself to grab your wrists, removing your hands from your face. “do you mean that?” he asks, trying to meet your gaze.
you don’t look him in the eye as you continue rambling. “i was so scared,” you tell him, “sungchan mentioned her out of nowhere that day and i was so scared. i thought she was your secret girlfriend, or something.” you feel stupid for telling him all of this, finally admitting to your jealousy.
“when i saw her for the first time, i thought it was over,” you shake your head, “someone so pretty having a crush on you? i felt like nothing next to her. sungchan even told me that she wrote down her instagram and casually handed it to you— i’d kill to be that confident in myself,” you’re not even paying attention to the words leaving your mouth anymore, wanting to get everything you’ve been holding in out of your system.
when you finally look at wonbin’s face, he looks sad, which startles you. you’re afraid that you’ve just killed his mood with your venting. “i’m sorry— i didn’t me-“ you’re interrupted by wonbin pulling you to his chest, shaking his head at your words. “you fool,” he repeats your words from minutes ago. “i can’t believe you’ve been feeling that way about yourself.”
he keeps you in his embrace as if you’d run away if he were to let go. “i can’t think of anyone prettier than you,” he mutters, “or nicer, or funnier. or anything, really, because i think of you more than anyone else. i guess it’s my fault, kind of. i could’ve expressed it in ways other than walking you to class and ordering dumb overpriced drinks for you.” you let out a quiet laugh at his last sentence and he smiles, pulling away slightly so he’s able to see your face.
“i guess we’re both kind of stupid,” you conclude, earning a nod from the dark haired boy. “only when it comes to you,” he says, “i happen to think i’m very intelligent on every other occasion.”
when you finally regroup with everyone, they’re all wearing looks of disappointment on their faces. upon asking what happened, eunseok shoves a thumb in sungchan’s direction, the brown haired boy adorning a sheepish expression. “this fucker got the time wrong. the movie was at 6:15, not 7:15,” eunseok grimaces, “i better get a refund for my ticket.”
“you didn’t even pay for it,” wonbin says, “i did. sohee’s, too.”
anton, having been the first one to notice both yours and wonbin’s disappearance from the group, narrows his eyes at the boy. “and where were you?” he raises a brow, attempting to look intimidating. wonbin dismisses him with the wave of a hand.
before you and wonbin decided to rejoin your friends, you had to tell him not to hold your hand, much to his dismay. only after discovering the reason why, did he reluctantly agree.
you stand as far away from wonbin as possible, putting on a melancholy act. shotaro is the first to take notice of this, putting a hand on your shoulder. “did you tell him?” he questions, your silence serving as an answer in itself. eunseok overhears, looking at you with pity in his eyes.
when anton finally sees the distance put between you and wonbin, he concludes that you weren’t able to tell him about your feelings. he sighs, shaking his head.
as if on cue, you look at wonbin with determination burning in your eyes, beginning to advance towards him. the group is silent as they watch the two of you curiously.
“dark star,” you begin straightforwardly, “i’m in love with you.” wonbin tries concealing his laughter as he swiftly takes in the reactions of his friends. eunseok smiles knowingly while anton and shotaro are wide-eyed. seunghan wears an amused expression, sohee’s eyebrows are raised, and on top of it all, sungchan looks incredibly confused.
wonbin, keeping up the act, covers his mouth in mock astonishment. “did you guys hear that?” he turns to his friends, who are now all aware that they’re being pranked. “my girlfriend is in love with me!” wonbin beams, “metal blaze, i accept your confession.”
eunseok clicks his tongue, nodding. “metal blaze, that’s a good one,” he notes under his breath.
“alright, we get it,” anton groans, “it took you guys long enough.” he turns to you, unable to stop a smile from forming. “i hope you know i was never actually going to tell him myself. i only said that in hopes of scaring you into telling him.”
you nod, “eunseok told me that already. and it wasn’t me that confessed to wonbin— he confessed to me.” everyone is shocked at your comment, seunghan walking behind wonbin and giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. you purposefully skip over the fact that you all but cried to wonbin immediately after said confession about how much you liked him in return, and he pinches your side.
“you know, when you guys disappeared, i made a bet with shotaro that you guys were probably making out somewhere,” eunseok adds, “he said you guys were probably just in the middle of the whole confessing thing. i owe him seven bucks now.” shotaro pats him on the back with false sympathy.
as the topic of conversation shifts to something else, sungchan’s jaw is still practically on the floor. he looks at the way wonbin has his arm around your shoulders, head practically buried in your neck. he can’t stop himself from blurting out his next words.
“has y/n had a crush on wonbin this entire time?!”
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AUTHOR’S NOTE! congrats to u if u survived reading all that ohhh lord i promise i’ll make y/n less unbearable next time but for now u guys are just gonna have to find it in ur hearts to forgive me… also it’s 5am rn and idk if i hate this fic umm we’ll see if i regret posting this when i wake up tmr
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inupibaldspot · 1 year ago
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From you, For him
| Part 2 of At him, For him
Note ₊˚⊹♡ : Normal like no curse and stuff AU where Gojo is in love with Geto’s lover but this time he has the chance to change everything. This contains time travel!
I wrote it in a way you can understand what’s happening even if your don’t read part 1 btw
·:*¨༺ Part 1 ༻¨*:·
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Gojo Satoru feels as if he can’t breathe.
He inhales. His chest hurts and he has a horrible attempt at keeping his glazing eyes in check as he fakes a smile and claps his hands together; there was a blur silhouette of Geto and you in a distance in tears ,both wearing matching rings.
“Woah—! Congratulations you two.” Shoko smiles wildly as she brings her hands close to her mouth,cheering. She briefly turns to Gojo and looks back at the couple. “Keep it together,Gojo… you’ve done that for years so why bother showing it now.”
Gojo lets out a laugh. “How cruel…” of course Shoko knows he has had this unrequited love for years. He breathes out. “I’ll head out for a second.”
Shoko nods as she reaches out and puts a cigarette and lighter in his pocket. He mutters a ‘thanks’ as he opens the door, cold breeze immediately greeting him. He breaths in again as his hands search for warmth in his pockets, turning to the alleyway.
Once when he is secluded, he brings out the piece of cigarette Shoko handed him earlier as he places it in between his lips, his hands bringing up the lighter with one on the lighter as the other hand wraps to protect the small flame.
He did not smoke often—more like he didn’t even the last last time he did. Gojo sucks in a breath, his throat feels hot but his chest is lighter, no-he remembers smoking back in high school simply because of Shoko and Geto. His only two friends would leave him for smoke breaks and he didn’t want to be left alone so he simply picked up the habit. 
Gojo quit after he met you since he didn’t feel the need to tag along Geto and Shoko anymore.
Somewhere in between college,meeting you and now, he didn’t seem to care anymore.
“Hey kid.”
“Fuck!” Gojo jumps, his teeth biting into the cigarette as his eyes glare sharply in the direction of the sound. A man sits along the far end of the alley way, away from him.
The white haired man contains his jumped heartbeat as he walks over the man who called him over. His eyes trail the dress he wore; it was a traditional dark piece of clothing and beads around his hand. This man was cosplaying as a Priest. 
He didn’t say the word ‘cosplay’ lightly because first, to begin with, the man in front had a ‘magic ball’ in front of him as if he was waiting for people to share their future and second, he wasn’t too serious because boy—! That monk had thick hair on his head, not the shaven look you’d normally see.
Gojo met scammers; near the shopping center, outside popular restaurant and tourist attractions, by his house ringing on his doorbell and right now, infront of him.
“What‘cha gonna tell me,old man.” Gojo says as he peers in, with also taking in a puff of smoke. “That I’ll be having a wife and two kids in my 30s… If it’s not that, it means one of you is lying.” By ‘one of you‘ refers to the scammer-I mean fortune teller he let in his house because he was bored. 
“Hahaha-! That’s not it.” The man laughs as he faces Gojo directly, it was then when he finally notices a stitch mark which stretches across his forehead. “Just wondering if you’d ever regretted things… ‘things’ which you wished you could go back and change..”
Gojo laughs as he drops the half-piece of cigarette on the ground, stomping on it. No long interested. “Of course. I still wish I could go back in time and not erase my answers because my teacher made all the answers to the MCQ ‘c’ just when I didn’t study.” 
Fuck—just why did Yaga REALLY do that? Gojo thinks back at the thought.
“That’s what I like to hear.” Gojo turns when he hears the man speak. 
The man stands close—very close to him as his hands were making a V-sign (a peace sign) , fingers pointed near his eyes before the old man was stabbed into his eyes.
“Oh my god— shit! That hurt, old man.” Gojo places his hands on his eyes as he tries to soothe the pain from it. “What are you trying to do—huh…?”
He blinks once.
Twice.
He takes a deep breath. ‘It’s fine.’ He thinks to himself. ‘I’ve just lost my mind a tiny bit because y/n and Suguru are getting married.’
Gojo let out the breath and opened his eyes. Same scene. He was by a tree, near a building; he remembered this place being behind the building for the Class 1-3 who were studying the normal curriculum whereas advanced classes of class 4-5 students were in another building. 
“What the actual heck is happening?” Gojo grumbles as he looks at the calendar on his phone. He was back in high school. He was sent back in time by about 7 years. “Fuck… I guess that man wasn’t a quack….”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“That’s why I need you to help.” You wiggled your toes in your shoes as you stand, smiling. The teacher,Yaga Masamichi, was in front of you, sitting on his chair as he continued to talk- maybe complain would be a better word- about a certain boy from the advanced class. “The boy is smart but he lacks discipline! He needs someone as hardworking as you and maybe it’ll rub on to him.”
You’ve heard of Gojo Satoru. You’ve never seen him but he was very infamous in high school . First, for being the son of the Gojo Estate. Two, for being a very tall, conventionally attractive boy. Third, for being a delinquent. 
And that last part bothers you a lot, you’ve heard him get into fights, rumors of him smoking along the alleyway, ripping love letters into pieces and recently he skipped over all his tests making him fail his mid-terms. 
You gulp. Hope he doesn’t beat you up… 
Just then the door to the staff room slides open. You see enter, he was tall with white hair and lashes and the eyes in the most beautiful shade. No way this was Gojo right? He was so— beautiful.
Did he just make eye contact with you?
“Gojo come here.” Yaga calls out as he huffs. Gojo clears his throat as he walks to the teacher. When he was close enough Yaga continued. “This is y/n and I’m assigned to be your teacher. She’ll make sure you get all your works done plus make you study for the reassessment for the exam you skipped on.”
You watch Gojo who was towering beside you raise his hands and brought it up to his face, but from the angle you see the upward turn on the corner of his lips. Why was he smiling?
“Isn’t this -he points at you- from the normal department?” You huff when you were referred to as ‘this’. “You sure she is smart?”
“Don’t mess with y/n just because she isn’t from the advanced class— And also! In the last exam she was placed third overall , right below Suguru.” Yaga shouted back.
Your eyes trail back to him when the boy beside you seemed to still, You’ve heard of Geto Suguru too. Apparently a boy from the advanced class who was also popular for his good looks. But not only that— he had a delicate aura around him which makes people like him and to add on he was very much academically smart.
Gojo lets out a breath, as if it were more of an amazement in your opinion. You watch him take a small step back as he turns around and gives you a smile, god was unfair when he crafted this smile. “Then please take care of me, my tutor.” His face was close to yours.
‘My.’ You face almost burst with heat.
“Gojo stop bothering y/n.”
“Ouch—! That hurt sensei.”
Ever since then, once you hear the bell ring indicating school was over for the day, there would be Gojo poking his head into your class with a boyish grin plastered on his face, he takes your book-filled bag, slings it over his shoulder as you guys would walk to the library.
He sometimes passes by your classroom which is in the opposite building whenever he wants to go to the restroom in between classes—I mean he never did specify which restroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.
And when he does, his gaze flickered towards you, taking in the way your gaze reflected the warm sun from outside.It becomes clear to Gojo then that even now, despite everything—in between ever but of confusion, anger and guilt, he doesn't actually want to lose you. To his best friend. To anyone else.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Warm.
The way the curtains fluttered from the gentle wind, letting in a cool breeze and a glow of the evening sun and you. You sitting not even an arm's length away and just like the pace of his heart which picked up, pushing every worry he could still have further and further away because there was no space for those in that moment.
There was just you. And he could feel your presence a lot closer now, her warmth not far away from him.
God, you were beautiful.
So beautiful, he would not mind spending the rest of his life memorizing each feature belonging of yours.
“Stop staring at me.” You let down the pen you were holding, looking away from your homework.
“I can’t stop.” He admitted.
You huff, the smirk on Gojo widened as he could see a faint color rush to your cheeks. “Just do your work…” you wave him off as you grumble.
“I’m already done,love.” He continues his teasing.
You pink as you let out a small shriek at the nickname; you rush close to him as you cover your hands on his mouth. “Shut up—Gojo, I don’t want to be murdered by your fangirls because of this.”
He pecks your hands by pursing his lips forward, into the palm of your hands making you shriek once more pulling away.
“Gojo!” You glare at him as you reach your hands out and comically wipe your hands on his blazer as he laughs at your reaction. He leans forward as he looks at your books. “What’s this?” He asks.
“Ah…” you say as you bring out a book closer to him. “I’m studying for my entrance exam for this university.”
“Already?” But that’s like months away.
“Yeah.” Your voice is laced with a smile, gojo almost sees shining glitters surrounding you. “It’s like… kind of my dream as a kid to go here.”
Gojo laughs at how adorable you sounded. “Why that university though?”
“My parents-“ you turn almost too quickly to face him but then you stop yourself as you clear your throat. “My parents went there and that’s how they met and fell in love.”
“Ah…” Just like you and Geto… His heart pains again as he is reminded.
You bend down as you lean your head on the table, letting out a sigh with your hands on your sides. “I hope I get in though…”
“You will.” He says confidently. He knows you will. “Nerds like you will get in.”
“Gojo, I’m not a nerd.”
“Whatever you say, princess.”
“I’m not princess either!”
“Sure thing, love.”
“Oh— Gojo,stop that!”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“I need you to be serious, Satoru!”
He listens to you shout, even without turning to your direction he could basically sense you ‘huffing and puffing’, a habit you took till adulthood. He reaches out into the bushes, pushing the leaves away. “I am—! Sheesh, let me breathe.” Gojo laughs.
You two were currently near the patch of grass by the football ground; you had lost your key to the music club room—a room which was basically unused but you guys needed a room so you two can continue on with your study lessons. 
You bend to look over the bushes while Gojo does around the bushes checking every shrub. “Oh lucky— someone’s cigarette and lighter is hidden  here.” His smile widens as he reaches out for the gift, someone had kept here. “Satoru, don’t steal others' stash.” He puts it down upon hearing your words.
“So this where you go after classes,Satoru?”
He knew it was inevitable but he hoped he could extend it for as long as he could.
In front of him, holding a key was Geto Suguru, smiling at him with Shoko, a lollipop in her mouth peers over from beside him. “What you doing?”
Geto throws him the key at him which is catches instantly.He wanted the two of his friends meet you but he selfishly hoped it would be after like maybe, after you and Gojo date. Wow—what an optimistic! Gojo gulps, afterall what would he do if the two of you fall in love again? 
“You found it!” You jump, unaware that the two figures were his friends. You turn your head to look at him, at him. Despite Geto Suguru standing near you, you looked at Gojo. The white haired boy’s heart pulsed, the slow and steady pump now erratic and heavy with emotions. Just you looking at him with a smile, at him like he was the only one on the planet m. For the first time.
“Who is this?” Shoko says as walks to to the bush and sticks her hands in. You laugh. “That cigarette was yours?” Shoko nods.
“This… this is y/n.” Gojo grumbles, speaking low. “She is helping me with my reassessment.”
“That’s what you get for skipping assignments and test.” Shoko teases. 
Geto laughs.
Gojo eyes at your reaction and sighs in relief when you were still acting the same. Thank god, there was nothing of that ‘love at first sight’ going on. “I don’t need to take those test.Even Yaga knows I’m smart.”
Your roll your eyes. “I guess we won’t have those study sessions of now on, Gojo.”
“Wha— no! I need it.” Gojo jumps, as he comically starts shaking you, as if he got the most shocking news of the century. “No- nope! You can’t do that. I need you—!”
“Geto, let’s get going now.” She turns. Shoko looks over to Gojo, they make eye contact and the brown hair girl smiles. 
He knows that smile. 
That’s the smile Shoko gives when ever she figures out something. And equipped with a teasing look, Gojo is certain she knows that he is in love with you. “Good luck,Gojo.” With his studies or with you? Geto gives you guys a wave as he also turns around and walks way. 
From then onwards, it’s as if the friendship which you guys have in the future,college days were happening now. Hanging out, study sessions, sometimes sneaking into parties and café date; the four of you. Just like right now as you’re in Gojo’s room, a flat rented nearby your future college.
“No way.” Shoko starts. “We’re all going to be attending the same college.” Her smile widens when you cheer and jump into her arms, she quickly looks over and sees a fond smile on Gojo’s face…hilarious!
Geto laughs as he takes a sip on his coffee as the two girls snuggle closer to each other. “Did you know about this?” He peers over to Gojo who finally seemed broken from his trance—you.
Gojo nods. “Yeah… I mean I’ve seen her study for her exams.” He clears his throat. “Have you played the new ‘digimon’ game?” He changes topic, whenever Geto speaks of you or to you, it makes him feel small. This isn’t good. He relishes this yet it was suffocation. Gojo would never hate his best friend—never, but sometimes it’s insecurity and sometimes it’s guilt which swallows him whole. ‘Is this okay?’ 
Shoko breaks away from the hug and she pulls on your cheeks fondly, she thinks you’re the most adorable human as she turns to Geto. “Smoke break.” Geto smiles and nods, following behind Shoko who led the way.
Gojo turns to you, eyes carefully trying to take in your presence that is before he notices something—your eyes are ‘lingering.’ He follows your gaze, carefully in the direction.
You were looking at Geto.
All emotions are wiped from his face. Gojo knew this could happen, you can fall in love with Geto all over again. He was the one who was messing with fate and time, yet— it hurt.
You turn to Gojo, your face tilts up to meet his gaze as your lips turn into a teasing smile which quickly flatters when you see Gojo’s expression. Your heart settles and softens, you relax and reach over the table to grab one of his hands. “…Satoru?”
He turns to you, and smiles. “Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
“No…just thinking.”
You gulp wondering why it felt as if suddenly there was a huge rift when they were barely centimeters apart; for someone as big as Gojo his voice was so—so small. “…About?” You were almost scared to ask.
“Are you in love with Suguru?” Gojo beats himself for this, he has gone and done it now! 
You tilt your head. “where did that come from?”
“Friends don’t give each other love-filled lingering looks.” He scoffs. “So tell me-“ no he was being pushy. Gojo felt so backed into a corner for a moment but when he locked eyes with you, he was hurting you with the way he was acting.
He stands up. “I think I need some fresh air.”
“If I did love him, what would you do?” 
Were you testing him? 
“Please—please don’t fall for anyone but me…” he mumbles.
You watch as he slumps down on the floor, on his knees, burying his face into his hands, curling up almost as if to protect himself. Gojo is no longer confident egoistic boy you know, right now he seemed so weak; as if he was tired after a long journey. “I have surrendered myself to you for all of time; past, present and future I am yours…”
Your head is dizzy with all this information. You need time, you need clarity. Gojo feels like he is losing himself in his thoughts and also rambles with no coherence to what his mind has to say. “I don’t know what do do with this emotion but if I try to stop them they overflow and-” 
His heart seemed to thud to a stop in his chest and then start up again erratically, hands seemed to be incapable of doing anything other than hang close by his sides.
“Satoru, I love you…” you whisper and it is only then when he realizes you were also on your knees in front of him, thumbs wiping tears from his cheeks. “I’m sorry for joking— I don’t love Geto. It’s you I love. Don’t hate me?”
How can he hate you when you were still his everything: you were his everything even when you were intertwining hands with someone else?
“It’s me?” He breathes out. “Did you say you’re in love with me?” 
You nod.
“Oh wow.” He says which makes you laugh.
“I love you…” He says, years of these words inside the depth of his heart, was dug out. “From the bottom of my soul, I’m head over heels for you, my love.”
You almost cry at his tone, so gentle.
He caresses your hair, tenderly, running his fingers through the soft, silky strands. When he eventually has his hands on your cheeks; your cheeks flushing as he gazes at you, captivated by your presence. Your eyes sparkle with wonder, your lips plush and rosy. 
You are flawless, perfect in this moment and beautiful in his embrace.
Gojo didn’t even realize when he started to get so close to you. His lips pressed against her pulse in a kiss before he nipped the skin.His limbs burned where he touched you, you were warm. So it was cold after all, he realized somewhere along the line. His hands were freezing, clinging to your lower back. 
Gojo wants to stay like this, holding you for a minute longer or forever.
A whisper in his head was telling him to let go—that it wasn’t right, but Gojo wouldn't. He was hanging onto a life line, it hurt, but if he let go now, he would drown.
Gojo was vulnerable. And you kiss him back. Kiss him till he is fine. Kiss him until all his worries fly— till he understands, you are equally so stupidly in love with him. 
Unbeknownst to you two, Shoko peeks over inside the door, a small crack reveals what’s inside “You think they’re done?”
Geto laughs. “Of course not…but give them more time and they’ll be in bed.”
Shoko laughs lightly making sure she isn’t spotted yet as she then peers over to the taller boy beside her. “What about you? You good?”
“Yeah… it was just a crush.”  Geto looked at Shoko from the corner of his eyes and his lips curl into a smile. Shoko was always so observant. 
Taglist ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆。—I tagged people who voted for time travel! Hope you guys don’t mind: @uuu55r64z46 @leviswifey-act62 @royaleashlyn @bakananya @bejwls @ritsatoru@washeduphasbeen @satorus-babygirl
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azrielbrainrot · 1 year ago
Text
I Laugh Like Me Again... She Laughs Like You - Part 2
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Description: You're back home right when Azriel was starting to lose all hope, but is the person standing in front of him the same who disappeared all those years ago?
Warnings: Angst, mentions of blood, injury
Word Count: 6670
Notes: The original plan wasn't to write more of this story but I had a few ideas of where to take this and decided to turn it into a mini series, don't think it will be longer than 3-4 chapters. Also I don't know if the HoW has cells in the books but it does here and they're normal, not dungeon-y like, and the story is set after acosf but Amren never got turned into fae because I like her better like this. A lot of people liked the first part so I really hope this one doesn't disappoint. I hope you enjoy!
Part 1 ○ Part 3
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Azriel was at the townhouse before he even fully realized what was happening. Didn't even give anyone an explanation, simply letting his shadows take him, barely hearing the questioning cries of his name. He didn't need to hear anything else aside from your name to know that's where he should be, his body moved before he even had time to formulate the thought.
Your sweet scent invaded his brain before he even arrived at the house. He'd be able to recognize it anywhere, he'd longed for it for so long after all. Every day when he opened his eyes, he hoped he would wake up to your scent floating around this house as it once did, as it did right now. He's not one to go into anything blindly, to run head first and only think about the consequences later, but this felt like his last chance. The loneliness that had settled deep in his soul had been replaced with hope with one word.
His shadows move to different corners of the room as soon as he's dropped off, leaving him uncharacteristically naked, unguarded. Even the shadows that would form naturally from the faint glow of the moon seemed to move off his face. They wanted him to enjoy this moment in full, this was his and only his.
In truth he barely noticed them leave, too preoccupied with the figure in front of him. He wouldn't have believed it if he wasn't witnessing it with his own eyes. How many times had he been haunted by this exact vision in his dreams? There you were standing in the sitting room, shining like a goddess under the moonlight filtering through the windows. You hadn't changed since the last time he saw you, only had gotten even more mesmerizing if anything.
Your hair was a bit shorter than you usually wore it, the tight pants a contrast to the usual short skirts you preferred. Then there was a scar running across your neck, even with the distance and darkness in the room he could tell it ran from ear to ear. It was a painful reminder of what you've been through, of the night he couldn't protect you. But it meant this was real. You were actually standing in front of him. This was something he had dreamed of many times, almost every night since you've been gone.
He calls your name and it feels amazing. Just the sound of your name leaving his lips, not in mourning or wistfulness but as a greeting, is enough to bring a face splitting grin to his face. Gods, he missed saying your name without almost feeling suffocated by the weight that formed in his chest.
You startle at the sound, seemingly not expecting company at the house. He has no time to study the strange expression on your face though, he needs to touch you first, to feel your skin against his, your warmth against his body, your heart beating behind your ribcage. He needs to make sure this is real and not some cruel dream or hallucination his mind thought up to torment him. He needs you to be really back.
As soon as your eyes meet his form, he clears the distance between you in two hurried steps, but, before he can hug you, he feels your hand reach out to him. He doesn't even have time to realize you're reaching towards his thigh, to Truth Teller. He doesn't know if it was confusion holding him back, the strangeness of the whole act or if he's simply willing to take anything as long as it comes from you, but he makes no movement to stop you from grabbing his knife, allowing you to pierce it through his stomach, never so much as looking away from your beautiful face or even flinching at the blade.
He can feel every inch of the dagger inside him, can feel the blood quickly seeping through his shirt. Still, the pain in his gut can't hold a candle to the relief and joy running through his veins. You're real. The knife went through, so you have to be real. He can clearly hear your heartbeat now as well, it sounds strong aside from how fast it's going.
Azriel reaches a hand out to you again, slower as not to startle you. He can't help the fluttering of his own heart as you finally let him make contact with the softness of your skin. You haven't moved your hands from the knife, your wide eyes staring at your now blood covered hands. He caresses your cheek lovingly and tilts your face up so he can meet your eyes at last.
He can tell something is wrong, as if it hadn't been glaringly obvious by his favorite knife currently stuck in his stomach. Your eyes seem unfocused, a bit panicked, maybe even angry. But he can't bring himself to care in this moment.
He doesn't know if this is your revenge for letting you die, for not finding you, or even if this is what you had wanted out of him from the start, maybe your whole relationship had been a lie. It doesn't matter. He'll gladly die at your hands if that's the fate you chose for him. At least he'd spend his last moments with you, a privilege he didn't think he would have the pleasure of experiencing.
His heart threatens to stop altogether when your eyes meet, it feels like time stopped around him. “You're home, my love,” he breathes out, letting out a soft disbelieving chuckle, “You're finally home.” He raises his other hand to your face, caressing both your cheeks with his scarred thumbs, he almost forgot how soft your skin felt against his rough hands. He's been clutching at faint memories for decades.
His smile falters when his thumb moves down, stroking down your jaw to the column of your throat, where a scar runs across your neck. He watches his thumb following the clean line, his scars had always been awful reminders of what was done to him, it ate at him even five centuries later, but seeing yours hurt even more. You should have never known this kind of pain.
“What?” Your voice was barely a whisper, confusion and fear holding it hostage. He looks back up into your eyes, seeing the same emotions swim in your gaze even more heightened. He didn't like that, you would never have any reason to be scared of him. He goes to tell you as much when he feels power surging into the room.
“Azriel?” Cassian's voice cuts through the moment and he has to close his eyes to keep himself calm. He wanted more time with you, wanted to talk to you before they got here, before they saw the blood but had gotten too distracted. His mind wasn't working properly, his thoughts were all over the place, he wanted nothing more than to hug you but was too aware of how strangely you were acting. He couldn't keep you and his family in check, not with every instinct inside him screaming to just pick you up and winnow you to the other side of the world.
He calls his shadows to him, a desperate attempt at hiding his injury. He knows it's in vain when he feels Rhys let go of the damper on his power, letting the suffocating night fill up the room. You look positively terrified now, he can even smell it mixing in your sweet scent. Letting go of your face, an act that takes more effort than he could imagine, he turns around slowly, trying to be mindful of keeping you covered, protected from his family.
Your hands don't stop holding onto the dagger, as he moves away from you, the force of it is enough to pull it out of his stomach and let the blood run free with no resistance. The pain was getting worse, it didn't look like you hit any vital organs but his healing wasn't fast enough to keep it at bay on its own.
Feyre is the first to move towards him when she sees the blood, but he simply holds up a hand, effectively stopping her in her tracks. Trying to keep a leveled head was proving to be a near impossible task as he saw the anger in everyone's faces, it was directed at you. He holds onto his abdomen, the pain was making itself known.
Seeing Azriel stop his mate from approaching, Rhys walks closer to the shadowsinger himself. His face was a mix of regret and fury as he spoke up. “What happened here, Azriel?” If his mind was in the right place he would have noticed the restraint his brother was showing at seeing him bleeding out in his house, restraint only present because of his own feelings towards you. Unfortunately, Azriel's instincts were winning against logic.
He hears you finally drop Truth Teller behind him, your body must have started listening to you when Rhysand got too close, recognizing him as a threat. He makes the mistake of looking back at the knife, not hearing the snarl that curls his brother's lips in time. Rhys winnows behind him in that moment and you had gotten too close to the window for him to reach you.
“Don't touch her,” he warns Rhys viciously. He doesn't want to think what he was capable of if anyone hurt you again, even if it was his own brother.
He sees you fall to the floor before he registers what happened. His heart almost leaps out of his throat, letting out an anguished cry of your name as he runs to you, pushing his brother out of the way and holding you up from the ground. Searching for a pulse frantically, he finds you were only unconscious. A breath of relief escapes him as he pushes your hair out of your face, it almost brings tears to his eyes. You will be fine. Rhys had only entered your mind to keep you asleep and stop you from escaping. You will wake up. You will not leave him again.
He hugs you closer to him, too focused on making sure you were alright and keeping his breathing leveled to hear what they were saying behind him. He felt as helpless as when he was still a child being subjected to his father's cruelty. It takes him a while before he finally calms himself down enough to hear the argument behind him.
“Let's talk to him first,” Cassian says, the emotion clear in his voice.
“He put up a shield around them,” Rhys was sounding less like a High Lord by the word, “He's not in his right mind.” A shield? He checks the air around them to find that his brother was right, there was a shield around them both, even his shadows had moved to cover them, separating them from the world.
“Neither are any of you,” Nesta's voice cuts through everyone, finally silencing them.
“We already called for Madja,” Feyre uses the silence that settled to speak, “We can get him treated and hold her somewhere until she wakes up.”
“No,” he drops you gently on the ground, letting his shadows cover you, protect you, before turning to face his family.
Feyre hesitates before continuing, seeing something on his face that makes her choose a different approach. He never mentioned being married to her but your name had been brought up before, he knew Rhys had filled her in on what happened, still she couldn't understand what he was feeling. Even he couldn't.
“The cells under the House of Wind are safe. It's just for-”
“You will not put my wife in a cell,” the words came out clipped, slipping through clenched teeth, the shadowsinger was barely holding on to a sense of restraint against his High Lady.
“She stabbed you,” Rhys yells, looking down at the wound in his brother's torso, thankfully already starting to heal, “it doesn't matter that she used to be your wife.” The growl Azriel lets out at his brother is nothing short of vicious, a feral and lethal thing rising straight from the center of his being.
“She is still my wife,” Azriel says behind a snarl, “And you will not hurt her.” Even if it was in the clean cells of the House of Wind, he could never bear to see you caged. He was ready to go to any lengths necessary to make sure of that. If helping you escape the Night Court was what it took he knew of a few ways not to get caught.
He could see Rhys' shoulders tense up, his own face morphing to match Azriel's fury. He didn't know if his mental shields were down or if his intentions were just uncharacteristically clear on his face but he was sure that his brother knew what Azriel - his spymaster - was thinking.
“She can stay in one of the rooms up in the House,” Cassian offers quickly, trying to settle the rising tension between his brothers, “She can't winnow out because of the wards and we can watch her until she wakes up.” Deep down he knows they don't want to hurt you either, that they're only worried but it's difficult to pay attention to the voice of reason within him during this whole situation. His greatest wish had just been answered. So why does everything seem to be falling apart with it?
Mor winnows in with Madja before he can give them a response which is a good thing because anything he could come up with would probably only put you and him in a more precarious situation. There were too many emotions warring inside him, the same going around almost everyone in the room if only more intense. The healer's presence seems to dissipate most of the tension automatically as Rhys even turns to look out the window and allows his mate to hold onto his hand, probably telling him soothing words in his mind.
Madja moves to Azriel with no hesitation, only stopping briefly when she senses the shield. She merely gives him a look before he drops it so she can reach him. He knows she wouldn't hurt you, knows he needs the wound in his stomach taken care of so he can focus on you, think about what to do when you wake up.
“You need to sit down so I can treat you,” she tells him while inspecting the wound.
“I will not leave her.”
“You can trust her with us, Az,” Mor tries to reassure him, but with the way the last minutes have played out he wasn't trusting you with them, or anyone else for that matter. He'd just gotten you back, no way is he letting you out of his sight for a second, he could bleed out for all he cares.
Suddenly, he sees Nesta walk to the table and grab a chair through his peripheral. She appears to be mumbling something to herself but he can't quite hear her to understand. She walks to him and drops the chair in her hands on his right, before giving him a narrow eyed look and returning to her mate's side.
He's not sure how much she knows of the situation. The three sisters probably all know by now that he used to be married but none of them has mentioned you to him, warned by whoever told them of the consequences of doing it.
He sits on the chair and lets Madja work on him. The wound wasn't too bad, even if he didn't have access to a healer it would close in a short time. You stabbed it cleanly through, just like he'd taught you. If he hadn't been the practice dummy he might praise you for it. By the Mother, he thinks he still might. He wonders if you'll grace him with a bright smile and flushed cheeks for it like you used to.
Azriel looks over to your sleeping form under the moonlight. He's calming down enough that he's starting to feel the uncertainty bubbling inside him. Truth Teller still laid on the floor beside you, covered in his blood just as your hands were.
“Is she…” What did he want to ask? Is it really her? How did she survive? There was so much blood on the ground that night. He didn't need to be a healer to know it was too much for someone to survive with no immediate help and an absurd amount of luck. “Is it really her?” He whispered the question, not bearing to look away from you as he does.
“You know that better than me,” the healer answers calmly. He can sense some emotion in her voice. You had asked her to make tonics to help him sleep and relax many times, to teach you basic healing and how to put on bandages to help him when he was too stubborn and not gravely injured enough to go see the healer. She probably missed you as well. “She's healthy.”
He feels a rush of relief at the words. You're healthy. The confirmation allows him to relax further. Finally looking away from you to see part of his family still watching the scene before them. He knows they too were thinking about the blood, the sleepless nights they spent searching for any sign of you. His eyes meet Rhys' briefly, knowing they'll need to talk about what happened.
He closes his eyes and leans his head back, letting out a soft sigh. You're back. He never thought he'd see you again but you're right here next to him. You're not a dream or a hallucination. You're healthy. The thought almost brings a smile to his lips despite the situation. Anything else can be dealt with now that you're by his side again.
“Are you sure you don't need to rest, Az?” He looks up from the familiar ring, still twisting it around his finger. It felt right putting it back on, he was almost giddy at the sight of the silver in his finger, but it also left him with immense guilt eating at him for taking it off in the first place. He studies Nesta's face for a second, giving up on trying to decipher what she was thinking in favor of looking back at you.
When everyone calmed down enough and Azriel was treated, it had been decided that you couldn't be left alone even in the room, they needed someone to keep an eye on you. It had also been quickly added that Azriel wasn't enough, his brother had seen right through him, he knew Azriel wouldn't try to stop you from killing him or trying to escape if you put your mind to it.
Cassian and Mor refused to stand watch unless it was truly necessary. He knows they wouldn't want to be put in a position where they had to stop you, knew they would not only feel guilty for hurting you but also wouldn't forgive themselves for hurting Azriel.
Even Rhysand, used to the weight and impartiality of the High Lord's title, looked hesitant in keeping him company, he had already forcefully invaded your mind to take your consciousness away, something he had vowed never to do to his friend. He could definitely stop you both from any of the worse case scenarios but at a cost he couldn't bear to pay.
That had left him with the two trained Archeron sisters and Amren. They set shifts to make sure Azriel was never left alone with you, he thinks they might not even trust him not to take you away from the room himself and help you escape. He can't really be sure himself if he wouldn't do exactly that if you asked. He'd follow you to the end of the world and beyond just to hear you call his name one more time.
“The wound is healed,” he whispers, keenly aware of your sleeping form, a habit that came to him naturally after seeing you. You always liked to sleep in and waking you up before your time was close to a death sentence.
“That's not what I meant.” Nesta walks closer to the chair beside your bed, the one he hasn't gotten up from since tucking you into the bed carefully. She placed a hand on his shoulder and studied you for a moment, something she's been doing since her shift started. “She stabbed you,” she says in an usually hesitant tone coming from her, “Are you sure it's her?”
“I would sooner forget my own name than mistake my wife for someone else,” the words came out clipped even with him trying to hold back his anger. It wasn't her fault for being suspicious, Nesta never got the chance to meet you, barely even heard about Azriel's marriage. She just wants to protect him, protect her friend.
“Why would she hurt you then?”
“Maybe it's my punishment,” the words leave him before he can think them through. It doesn't matter anyway, they all saw the state he was in at the townhouse. No point hiding now.
“Punishment?” She took a step back from the chair to be able to face him, her perplexed face coming into view. “You didn't do anything wrong.” The notion was almost laughable. Azriel had done plenty wrong in his life.
“I didn't find her,” he whispers, facing away from his friend in favor of watching you, “She's been out there for almost a century, on her own,” he clenched his fists at the thought, “and I didn't find her.”
“I know you looked for her as best as you could. I know you all did.” And what good did his best do?
“You don't understand, Nesta,” he says as he looks down at the ring once again, closing his eyes briefly at the burn he felt in his head. He didn't want to talk about this anymore, didn't want to explain his feelings to any of them.
“I do,” she starts, “If something happened-”
“If,” he cringes at how he raised his voice, immediately looking over to your sleeping form to make sure he didn't disturb you, and then added more quietly, with the same conviction in his tone, “If something happened to Cassian you would understand. But it hasn't and so you don't.”
Nesta lets out a defeated sigh, moving back to her original seat by the window, patting his shoulder comfortingly on her way. His eyes are focused on you once more and he has no intention of letting them stray until you wake up, and long after you do.
⋆。°✩°。⋆
You wake up slowly, your mind aware of your near consciousness before your body can follow. It feels like you've never been this deeply asleep, even the dreams that usually haunt you were quiet. Perhaps that's why it takes you so long to remember your current situation, it could also be the strangeness of it. You keep your eyes closed as your body and mind slowly come to.
You didn't expect to be lying on a bed, an unbelievably soft bed at that, after being caught stealing from the High Lord's home and then stabbing someone from his so-called Inner Circle. You're not sure when you lost consciousness but, in the split second the High Lord stood in front of you, you were more than certain you wouldn't be able to escape death again.
The sun is high in the sky, meaning you failed your mission, not only because you had been caught but also for not getting to the meeting point on time. Whether at the hands of your captors or your employers you were already as good as dead. The thought has heat burning behind your eyelids and your throat threatening to close up.
You don't even know what happened. This whole mission had seemed above your expertise from the start. You had never been sent on a mission to Prythian and the fact that you were sent to steal from a High Lord's home, the strongest in history at that, had sowed doubts inside you from the moment you heard about your mission from your handler. That and the sinking feeling in your gut as you listened to their descriptions of the city and people working for the High Lord. Every cell on your body was trying to reject this idea.
Deciding to trust your gut, you even brought up your doubts to your superiors, going as far as asking why you were being sent to retrieve some book when there are other fae more experienced in working there. There wasn't even any time to study the place or come up with escape routes. You had never been sent into any mission like this. Your worries had been quickly dismissed. They seemed completely convinced you wouldn't be caught, that you were the only member capable of this job.
Sneaking into the city had been simple enough, there seemed to be some celebration happening since so many fae were drinking and dancing around bars and even on the street. Your uneasiness only got worse as you walked through the streets. Something was wrong, every single one of your instincts was screaming at you, but you couldn't figure out why.
You walked to an alley close to the High Lord's house and surveyed the perimeter, making sure your intel was correct and the house was truly empty. After postponing the inevitable long enough, you took a deep breath and winnowed straight into the house, and, just like your handler told you, there were no wards or shields stopping you from entering. You thought this was peculiar for a High Lord but many powerful fae think themselves invincible to the point of arrogance and at the sacrifice of their own safety.
As you walked quietly through the hallway, your feet seemed to have a mind of their own, carrying you into a big room with sofas and a fireplace instead of the office you were supposed to be already searching through. You had the same feeling of deja vu as when you were walking through the illuminated streets before, something about the portraits on the walls and the peculiar chairs had your heart sputtering in your chest. It was an intricate design but you could swear you'd never seen anything like them before.
You moved closer to the window, far enough that no one could see you through it, and looked down at the city once more. Taking in the lights, the colorful houses and the fae cheerfully walking around the streets despite the late hour. There is no place like this in Montesere, not even close, so you don't understand how you could be confusing it, you really feel like you've been here before. Everything down to the names of the stores and smells wafting through the air look strangely familiar.
As you got lost in your thoughts, you had completely forgot about your mission. Letting your guard down, enough so that you didn't hear or feel anyone's presence in the same room until you heard them call out someone's name. The sound had goosebumps traveling through your entire body, your breath getting stuck in your throat. What scared you the most wasn't even the fact that you had just been caught but that voice, that name, almost brought tears to your eyes.
You stood frozen for a moment before turning around slowly and your entire body went still at what you saw. The male in front of you was the same one that haunted your dreams ever since you could remember, you would recognize that figure, those wings, those eyes anywhere.
You almost doubted you were awake at all but when he moved closer to you, standing in front of you before you could even blink, your body moved to protect yourself on instinct, to do as you had been taught at the guild. Your movements were a lot slower than usual, almost like something inside you was trying to stop you from hurting him but you had still managed to grab the long knife strapped to his thigh and stab it through his stomach in one clean movement.
The knife went in smoothly and he simply took it without trying to stop you or even letting out a sound. You've taken countless times before, killing was part of your life, of your job, but watching his blood run and coat your hands had made you feel incredibly guilty. You couldn't move, couldn't even let go of the knife.
When his hand reached to touch your face - a movement you didn't even register until his rough skin came in contact with your cheek - your wild eyes had met his and, suddenly, it felt like the world was spinning. The bright hazel was so familiar you could cry. He'd been starring in your dreams for so long but you'd never seen him quite this close. As you slowly let your mind catch up to you, you noticed he was smiling.
“You're home, my love,” he whispered softly. Your heart had felt like it was going to beat out of your chest at that point. You were missing something, a piece of information that felt like it was swimming right on the edge of your brain, but you couldn't quite reach it. His hands had both moved to cup your face by the time you found your voice.
“What?” What is going on? Who are you? Why do I feel like I know you? Why is your touch so familiar? My love? Your brain was filled with questions but you couldn't even find it in you to ask them. Couldn't look away from his eyes, the former joy seen in them giving way to something else.
“Azriel?” Both of you had tensed at the voice behind him. It seems he didn't hear anyone else arrive either, too caught up in each other and whatever mysterious tension was tying you together.
Your hands had tightened around the dagger on instinct, you could feel the power rippling through the room. You should have ran away while it was only him, he had let you stab him so maybe he would let you run away as well. But, as night incarnate filled the room, you knew every chance you had at an escape was lost.
The rest of the events were a blur, one moment you were watching more and more people winnow into the room, sending your heart further into disarray, and the next the High Lord himself stood in front of you with fury and what looked like disappointment etching his features, and then everything went dark.
As your memories from the night before fade, you become more aware of your surroundings. You could hear two separate breaths close to you, could smell two distinct scents, you suppose it was lucky enough that they had let you sleep on a bed, it's only natural they'd have someone keeping watch.
If they'd been watching you this whole time they would have to know you were awake by now, so you open your eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust to the brightness in the room. You study the intricate gold designs on the dark navy ceiling. Why did even the ceiling seem familiar? It feels like you are losing your mind.
Your head turns to the nightstand, where a cup of water sat over a flower shaped lace coaster. You almost gulped at the sight of it, your throat was so dry you weren't sure you could speak, but you were in a stranger's house, one you had tried to rob the night before, there had to be a catch somewhere and you didn't want to end at the cruel hands of poison.
Two pairs of eyes burned into you, and since you're not going to drink anyway, you decide that there's no delaying this confrontation any more. You turn to look at them, not surprised at finding the winged male sitting close to your bed, but he was accompanied by someone else, something else.
You sit up in bed slowly, not wanting to appear as a threat and startle them into thinking you had intentions of escaping or attacking you. You really didn't know why they hadn't just dumped you in a dark dungeon - you heard about their less than kind reputation before coming here - but you wanted to keep in their good graces if you could help it. They're probably keeping you to know more about who sent you, shame you can't tell them anything, maybe they'd even let you go if you could.
When you sit up against the headboard, your eyes meet the male's immediately, as if you were called to do it. Some of the same emotions you had seen last night were still shining in his eyes, but today there was so much more, so much so that you couldn't even begin to pick them apart even with the difference of a calm mind.
Your captors don't move so you take the moment to study the male before you. He always showed up covered in shadows in your dreams, you had barely caught glimpses of his face in the almost century of seeing him. Which was a real shame if you dared to admit it. He has an exceptionally beautiful face, the sun filtering through the window was giving his tan skin an ethereal glow, his eyes shine brightly, allowing you to make up the different tones of green and brown within them. His hair was stark black, curling slightly at the ends.
You had noticed the large wings that stood at his back the first time you'd seen him. You've never met any species of fae with wings but his were definitely peculiar. You always thought they were black but, with the brightness in the room and his shadows away, you can see they lean more to a crimson and gray-ish color. Trailing down to his torso, you notice that there doesn't seem to be any blood or sign of injury. He had already gotten healed then. For some reason, your heart calms at that and you try telling yourself it's because it might lessen the trouble you got in.
A shadow moves across him to reach up into his ear, almost like it was whispering something to him. You knew the Night Court's Spymaster was a shadowsinger, the only of its kind, but you didn't know what his shadows could do, what they could see and tell him. The hair on the back of your neck raises as his eyes watch you intently while listening to his shadow's words. They had to be talking about you. Could they read through your thoughts?
“Leave us alone, Amren.” Your eyes finally stray from the male when you hear her name, finally taking in the short creature behind him, and you almost regret it when her bright silver eyes meet yours. She was nothing short of terrifying, you think even the older assassins in the guild would feel unnerved under her gaze. You weren't even sure what she actually was but it had to be something other, something ancient and powerful. She seems displeased at the look you give her, though you doubt she's unacquainted with seeing fear on people's faces, or bothered by it.
Amren narrows her eyes slightly before looking at the male. She studies him with an intensity that could make most fae run for their lives, makes you consider it, but the male doesn't seem to care, his eyes never leaving yours. “I hope you know what you're doing, boy.” She walks out of the room with no hesitation, leaving you alone with the male that walks your dreams once again.
You stare into each other's eyes for what feels like an eternity. Neither of you seem to find the right words. You know why you're having trouble finding them. Between getting caught stealing in his house and the turmoil going on inside you, you're surprised you've been managing to keep your composure at all. But you can't understand why he'd be in the same position as you. Could he also be haunted by dreams of you the same way you were of him?
Leaning forward in his chair, he says the same name you heard last night, the one who made your heart tighten painfully in your chest. You had been too confused and scared last night to even consider it but now you can clearly see he's using it to call you. He seems to think that's your name.
“That's not my name,” you manage through your dry throat, the words coming out so rough and low that you're sure he wouldn't have heard you if it weren't for the quiet in the room. Your answer seems to hurt him, his face drops, the sunlight that was shining through his skin seems to vanish, and you see his wings tighten behind him. Your own body seems to respond to it. You want to make him feel better but you don't know how or why.
He nods almost imperceptibly, as if accepting a fact he was unwilling to, and rises up from the chair, tensing slightly when you press yourself further into the headboard. He seems to try to ignore it as he moves to the nightstand, picking up the glass and handing it to you.
You eye the glass sitting in his brutally scarred hands, momentarily wondering what could have done such a thing if he healed up from a stab wound in mere hours. He senses your hesitation but simply holds it closer to you. You look up to meet his eyes again.
“It's not poisoned,” he offers, “I promise.” You're not entirely sure why but you trust him, or maybe you were just in desperate need of water, reaching up to take the glass from him and almost drinking it in one go. He seems at least pleased enough with this, moving back to sit in his chair. As you observe his movements, you almost miss the way the glass refills on its own. You blink at it, deciding it's not worth considering, and take another slow sip.
Since he doesn't start asking you questions, apparently content enough with watching you drink, and you start to get unusually shy under his intense gaze, you start asking them yourself, seeing this as your chance to know the male of your dreams.
“What's your name?” You play with the glass as you ask, trying to appear nonchalant despite your perilous situation and the tension between you.
“Azriel,” his deep voice cuts through the silence. You repeat it, goosebumps spreading over your body at the act. Nothing is making sense anymore but his name feels right on your tongue.
You say it one more time, letting it linger in your mind. There is something inside you trying to claw its way out at the sound. You can feel it now, can feel how wrong it feels, how wrong you feel. There was a growing pressure inside your head. You let go of the glass and watch it vanish into thin air before it has the chance to make contact with the covers.
The sensation that you've forgotten something really important is back. You look up at the male one more time, seeing he has moved closer to you and noting the worry in his gaze. He wasn't supposed to be worried about you, he's a stranger and you had just stabbed him a few hours ago. So why does it feel right for him to care? Tears line your eyelids, your hands shaking slightly at the strange feelings building inside you.
“I don't know you,” you whisper, more to yourself than him, “I feel like I should.”
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gloomwitchwrites · 11 months ago
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Break Up with Your Toxic Boyfriend (2 of 4)
John "Soap" MacTavish x Female Reader
Content & Warnings: brief discussion of verbal and emotional injury, briefly implied future physical injury, protective / possessive Soap, hand job, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl)
Word Count: 1.9k
A/N: Part of the Imagines & What If Series
You and Soap might no longer be together, but he is your "safe space", and you need to vent. While raging over the phone about your boyfriend, Soap arrives at your door.
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // break up with your toxic boyfriend masterlist
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The anger and hurt in your voice are the only fuel John needs.
You have no idea that he is already on his way to you, that he hooked your phone call up to his helmet. That, even now, John is on his sportbike zooming down roads and weaving around cars in an effort to get to you.
There is a fire under his skin. It burns away all other concerns. Every word you speak is a blown furnace, the destruction mounting until each utterance infuriates him further. This “boyfriend” of yours, the one you started seeing after the two of you broke up, deserves a fucking sharp punch to the jaw. He deserves missing teeth and broken bones.
Men like him aren’t men at all. They’re rubbish, only valuing women as objects, seeing them as their housekeeper and not their partner.
In his ear, you’re hardly taking a breath. Your words are a stream of consciousness, each word angrily pushing into the other until it’s a jumbled mess. John listens to it all, using that as motivation to get to you. It’s doesn’t fucking matter that you’re not his anymore.
John still cares. He still loves you. The need to protect and defend you is innate. One teary-laced word was enough for him to drop everything and head in your direction. Doesn’t matter that you and he ended things a bit messy. It was simply complicated. The two of you needed to work a few things out but broke it off because that was the easy thing to do.
He regrets that. He regrets not fighting. Not getting his shit together.
The engine revs, and John turns onto your street, almost throwing himself off his bike to get to your front door. In one hand he’s holding his helmet. In the other, he’s holding his phone, the device pressed to his ear as you keep talking. Reaching out, he pounds on the door.
You immediately pause on the other side of the phone. “There’s someone at my door,” you murmur, voice slightly distant.
“I know,” he replies. “It’s me.”
Silence on the other end. But then he hears it—the familiar click of a lock. Following that is your front door opening, revealing you.
The two of you stand there, staring at each other. Your momentary shock slips, dipping into confusion.
“What are you—” you begin but promptly stop as John pushes past you and into the flat.
“Is that fucker here?” John strides into the kitchen, placing his helmet down on the counter before ending the phone call and slipping the device into his back pocket.
“John.”
He glances down the hallway and then turns to you. “Is he here?”
You shake your head. “No. He’s not here.”
John’s chest heaves with relief, some of the tension receding.
“John,” you repeat, the concern in your voice enough to smother some of that fire burning beneath his ribcage.
“Did he hurt you?” he asks softly, approaching.
His gaze roams up and down your body, searching for signs of injury. There is none, at least not that he can see. That doesn’t mean there aren’t marks somewhere hiding beneath the clothes. The very thought fans the flames, charging John’s nerves until they crackle like lightening.
“No, Johnny. I’m fine.”
Johnny.
Only two people are allowed to call him that and one of them is standing right in front of him. The use of it, the way it falls from your lips, is enough to slightly quiet the anger. He sighs, expelling some of that smoky frustration. But then his gaze flicks to a spot just over your shoulder, and a new feeling emerges.
There are fist-sized holes in the wall. Four of them. Much too large to be your hands.
“What the fuck are those?” John’s voice drops as he nods toward them.
The sadness that forms on your features nearly rips his lungs from his body. John has never seen you like this. Never this defeated.
“They happened after,” you answer.
“After what?”
“The argument.”
You and John have had your fair share of arguments, but he’s never punched a wall. He’s never thrown anything or threatened you.
Never. Fucking never.
No. Fuck this guy.
“You’re breaking up with him.”
“What?” you ask, flustered by his sudden outburst.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” he murmurs. “Doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you. To kiss your lips. To be in your presence.”
You deserve so much more than whatever this fucker is providing. Which is apparently nothing served alongside fist-sized gapping wounds in the plaster.
Your mouth opens like you’re about to reject the idea, but it’s not a suggestion. You are breaking up with him. You will leave him even if that means John doesn’t get to have you. That’s fine. That’s okay. He can live with that. What he can’t live with is knowing you’re with someone who treats you like rubbish.
He needs to get this off his chest, to make you understand that you are entitled to more.
“I listened the whole way here and you know what I heard?” He pauses and notices the slight quiver in your bottom lip. “That you’re unhappy. Have been for some time.”
You blink and fresh tears form there. John has to bite back the instinct to kiss them away. It’s what he would do if you were still his.
He licks his lips, a large sigh leaving him as he points over your shoulder. “He treats you poorly.” John’s hand slices through the air. “Walks all over you. Doesn’t answer you for hours and then gets angry with you when he finally makes contact.”
As John talks, even he can hear his voice thickening. This always happens when he gets worked up, and you’ve always playfully teased him about it.
“He’s a fucking waste of space.”
“John—”
“Break it off. And—fuck. If you can’t face him, then let me do it.” He places his hand on his chest. “Allow me to defend you.”
Your features soften and John wants to drink it in, to remember the way you’re currently looking at him. He remembers this side of you, the one that easily pierces him like a needle breaks skin. A look like this will put John on his knees if you ask him to.
“Johnny.”
He’s done. Gone. There is no coming back from this. Whenever you say his name like that, you’re either annoyed with him, wanting him to listen, or you’re just about ready to kiss him. It momentarily rips away all the thoughts in his head, leaving him temporarily mute before his brain can catch up again.
“Listen to me,” he says, gripping the sides of your face. “Get rid of him. I—I know you don’t want me but fucking hell. Don’t pick him. Don’t—”
John is silenced.
Not by your words leaving your mouth but from your lips pressing to his. It startles him—shocks him that you’re kissing him. Leaning into him. John responds, kisses you back, his tongue exploding with the remembrance of your taste.
But you’re still not his. You belong to someone else still and this isn’t right, no matter how much he fucking hates it.
“Stop, love,” he murmurs, pushing on your shoulders.
John loathes telling you to stop. To move away from him. Doing so is like fish hooks caught in the skin. He wants to reel you right back in, to taste your lips again, and fall into memory.
“I ended it,” you reply softly. “It’s over. That’s why there are holes in the wall.”
John pauses, his gaze growing serious. “What?”
You shake your head. “He didn’t like that I wanted him to leave. That I didn’t want to see him anymore.”
Your fingers dig into the back of John’s neck and that one touch is enough to dissolve his resolve about not kissing you into dust.
He closes the distance, and you welcome him in, opening beautifully.
“Am I your rebound?” he teasingly asks between kisses.
You laugh against his lips and kiss him again. “Why did I ever leave you?” Your question is a sad murmur tinged with a regret that leaches off your words and floods into his heart.
“Because I was an asshole.” He believes these words completely but you’re shaking your head.
“No,” you reply. “You weren’t. Never that.”
The kisses between you, which at first were soft, quickly develop into deeper passion, twining like a spool of thread around a bobbin. John drags you against him, tasting over and over until you are imprinted on his memory.
Your arms drape over the back of his neck to pull him even closer, and John snaps. That gentle resolve is gone. He needs you.
Reaching down to cup your ass, John lifts you off the ground until your legs naturally wrap around his waist. He knows where the bedroom is but that’s too fucking far. The desire writhing between and around his bones is a blood-beast. A feral thing that calls out for your skin against his.
Setting you down on the counter, John shoves his helmet out of the way. You’re already reaching for him, undoing the front of his pants, slipping in to palm him. The inhale you make when your fingers wrap around his cock is sweet and John breathes it in as if that one sound makes up his entire lifeblood.
Fuck. Fuck.
He’s going to taste you everywhere. His lips and teeth will mark your skin. His tongue will find a home between your legs. You’ll forget this fuckers name. He just needs a few hours and it’ll be his name you’re screaming.
You stroke him again, and John drags you right to the edge of the counter, intending to sink to his knees to worship between your spread thighs.
Your knees lock at his hips and with another stroke of your hand, you tell him what you want. “I need you inside me. I want to feel you.”
You ask so sweetly. He can’t say no. He doesn’t want to.
John helps you ease his pants down to his thighs. When he goes to undress you, he only finds underwear under that large, oversized shirt.
“Fuck, love.” John’s finger drags that fabric aside and he groans at the sight.
You’re already wet. Aching. Ready for him. Begging him to bury himself inside.
This one will be quick. It’ll be rough and he’ll probably fucking spill within a minute, but he has the whole night to take you over every surface in this flat, to make you writhe and moan beneath him.
Placing one hand on the counter and one on your thigh, John starts to ease in. Inch by inch, slowly, he disappears until there is nothing left for him to give. He has a perfect view of how you stretch around him. How you slightly clench and unclench, the pleasure of it shooting to the base of his spine.
“Don’t leave me,” you murmur as Soap begins to thrust into you.
“Never,” he replies, nuzzling the side of your face as you pepper him with kisses.
John anchors himself, snapping his hips, chasing the end just so he can get you back into that bedroom to do so much more.
“You’re mine,” he groans as your fingers dig into his skin, pulling him closer. “Always have been.”
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gyusimp · 11 months ago
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°•Lord Muzan feels tired after work
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⚠️ WARNINGS: NSFW | Smut content | Fem reader | Fingering | Semi-oral | Minors DNI!
Finally the one-shot I promised! I changed the initial idea so I basically rewrote the whole thing again because of a dream I had and it gave me all the inspiration I needed lmao it even gave me an idea for another longer fic with Muzan. I ended up doing it in the canon Taisho Era so enjoy!
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Art credits for the creator (not mine)
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It wasn't physical fatigue that he felt, after all, the progenitor of demons was tireless. He was rather fed up. Fed up with his employees, his servants, humans in general and how exhausting it was to be the only perfect and intelligent creature among them. His day had been full of problems today.
The current role he had was that of a young and rich businessman, owner of a company importing foreign products whom he murdered in order to carry out his plans and continue increasing his fortune. He forged a few papers, impersonated some people and murdered others and so the company was his now but that included all his stupid and useless employees. He was so fed up with damn humans, sometimes he avoided dismissals, it depends on their mood and how efficient they were at some point then Muzan fired them, otherwise he just called them to his office simply to kill them.
Then a few months later he met you, a young and beautiful woman in the business world with a company dedicated to natural medicine and importing medicinal plants. You were an essential piece in his plan to conquer the sun. He married you when he had the chance to but you eventually found out that he wasn't human. How come you were still alive then? You discovered it on your own, you didn't make a fuss or try to run away from him, you simply let him know that you already knew through small clues or ways of acting, like you were in charge of closing all the curtains in the house during the day but you didn't ask the servants to do it for you. Your loyalty to him remained despite knowing what he was and that was not lost on Muzan.
One night, he told you what this was all about, if you hadn't left despite knowing his condition then you had to stay alive. Muzan gave you the choice if you wanted to become a demon or not but whatever your answer was, you had to serve him for your entire life. The fact of being immortal did not tempt your human weakness but you told him that by having the ability to walk under the sun, you could be his eyes in the light of day and help him do different things so you both ended up accepting. You were legally his wife, so in front of everyone Muzan treated you as such although there were times in private where he was still a little soft on you, plus, he is an attractive looking man which led you to feel some things more for him , taking on mind his demonic nature.
Today had been a terribly long day, the fatigue in Kibutsuji's body caused the veins on his forehead to stand out strongly under his skin, his red eyes appeared and his pupils turned into vertical slits like a cat's.  He took off the black trench coat he was wearing and left it on the coat rack at the entrance, his fangs grew to normal size after having hidden them all day, as did his sharp blue nails, making one of his servants tremble who should have already gone home. The man next to him was observed with indifference, his skin was pale and he was sweating coldly having seen the small transformation of his master, then he remembered the stories of those man-eating creatures that the women of his town told the children.
"A monster! This man is not human!! MISS KIBUTSUJI, THERE IS A DEMON IN THE HOUSE!" the man shouted trying to alert you.
His shrill screams tried Muzan's patience and when the man turned to walk up the stairs towards you he was cut into pieces in less than 2 seconds. The reddish and thick liquid splashed Kibutsuji's face making him sigh and wipe it with a handkerchief as well as his hand, the drops dripped on the stairs and when he walked next to him he moved it with too much disgust using his foot and continuing his way towards your room upstairs.
Like a gentleman, he knocked on the door before entering and upon hearing your voice he entered the room. You hadn't heard anything but his murderous look told you that he wasn't in the best of moods so you didn't say anything. You went to the bathroom in the large room and put on a pearl-colored sleeveless sleeping dress with a matching silk robe. Just like your husband, you preferred to dress in a Western style, you left your hair down and went out. You found him sitting on the edge of the bed, with both hands together mumbling some things, noticing how stressed he was and without saying anything you knelt on the bed behind him and started massaging his shoulders. You were involved in the world of medicine since you were little, so you knew the points where stress usually accumulates. Feeling your hands exerting pleasant pressure on his body, Muzan couldn't help but tilt his head to the side and put aside everything he was thinking, he took off his tie and closed his eyes, sighing tiredly. You continued caressing his neck, shoulders and back until slowly his muscles relaxed and his veins stopped showing under his skin.
"Can i...?" You asked, bringing your hands to the collar of his shirt.
You unbuttoned the entire garment and got rid of it completely leaving his naked and well-worked torso exposed, you continued massaging his shoulders and back until he felt good enough to close his eyes and lay his head on your chest, feeling your breasts very close to him. Your hands were soft and light, with a sincere and warm touch making his thoughts go elsewhere. While you continued doing your thing, he got rid of his belt and unbuttoned his pants without you realizing it, then grabbed your wrist with some force and brought you in front of him so that you were sitting astride his lap. As soon as you sat down, he took it upon himself to stare at you and open the robe you were wearing to see your breasts under the thin fabric of the nightgown and how your nipples were beginning to stand out. He took off your robe and then grabbed the hem of your nightgown to pull it up and take it off as well. A few seconds passed, he lightly patted your thigh to make you lift your butt so he could get rid of your panties as well, leaving you completely naked under his gaze. He gently took your hand, still looking at you, and brought it up to his face to caress it against his cheek and kiss your palm elegantly.
"You are a rather attractive woman...worthy of bearing my last name." You felt so lucky when he took the time to compliment you since you knew his disdain for almost everything.
You melted at his touch, at his kisses, but an unusual sensation on the skin of your hand made you look in that direction. You saw how a mouth began to form in Muzan's palm with teeth, tongue and everything. You knew about all the changes and transformations that his body was capable of so it no longer surprised you at all since he also knew how to use those changes to your advantage. Muzan smiled at you with seductive malice and with his free hand he grabbed your waist while the hand with his mouth went straight between your legs, placing his palm just below your pussy. You couldn't help but moan and startled a little when you felt his warm breath hitting you, you felt his tongue come out from his palm and begin to suck and lick all your folds. You looked at Muzan with a huge blush as you grabbed his shoulders. While his palm was in charge of your center, he brought 2 of his fingers to your hole, making you arch your back as you felt him enter and arch his fingers inside you. Both sensations made you begin to moan his name and move your hips on him to increase your own pleasure as he hardened dangerously beneath you. His entire mouth sucked on your pussy, playing with it with his teeth and pressing your clit against his tongue over and over again as he moved his fingers and the mouth on his face kissed and bit your neck and collarbones. You were starting to get very wet, the saliva and your juices between your legs making you feel very hot and slippery. Muzan's free hand took you from behind to bring you closer to him and caressed your back until it went down and reached your butt, then he went to your bust and began to knead one of your breasts between his fingers, causing you endless moans.
"Aa-aah...Muzan! Aah!" You could barely speak properly.
You rubbed your center on the palm of his hand while the mouth beneath you devoured you completely, you listened to the wet sounds that leaked beneath you and imagining the dirty scene aroused you more and more. The simple act of letting the Demon King fuck you as he pleased turned you on no matter what. Muzan was going too fast and every rub on and lick on your folds was killing you, you clung tightly to his shoulders making scratches that regenerated immediately feeling your orgasm getting closer to the point of not even being able to stay upright. Your head leaned down, leaving your left hand on his shoulder while you held on to the bed with your right as if your life depended on it, never stopping moaning or moving.
Muzan watched you from above, proud of the mess he made of you, of how he was able to lower such a prestigious and elegant lady to such a level, making her beg for more as if she were a prostitute. You were close, he knew it by the way you squeezed his fingers tighter than before and he didn't want to let this moment pass him by. Muzan grabbed your chin to make you look into his eyes.
"Look at me...you're about to cum, aren't you? I want you to look at me..."
You tried to raise your face towards him but lust was stronger than your five senses, your body was heavy with pleasure and you could barely open your eyes properly. You didn't heed his request and that might make him angry so this time he held you tighter, digging his nails into your soft flesh making your cheeks sting.
"I told you I want you to look at me when you do it...it's an order." He demanded.
You clung to his shoulders without stopping moving and he increased his speed, you squeezed him again and just when you felt yourself on the edge you looked down but forced yourself to half open your eyes and look up again just as you screamed of pleasure as you feel all your whitish and slippery discharge come out from your core, wetting all of Muzan's hand under you where his mouth did not waste a single drop.
"Your taste is very pleasant, dear. I would never get tired of it." He licked his lips.
You were shaking in his lap, sweating all over your body, and a huge blush came over you again when you looked down and saw the mess you had left in his pants. Muzan smiled evilly at you and pushed you on the bed to change places and position himself over you after having completely gotten rid of all his clothes.
Your hair was a mess on the bed, your chest rose and fell trying to normalize your breathing and you could feel your sensitive folds throbbing after such a strong euphoria. You finished having your orgasm, you were wet and slippery and Muzan wasn't going to waste that.
"It's my turn, precious."
He told you, showing you his fangs in a smile and in less than you expected he opened your legs to position himself in the middle of you, he took one of your legs behind your knee and placed it on his shoulder without letting go and then entered you with a single thrust making you moan intensely. He didn't care that you had not yet adapted to his size, he began to stretch you and move repeatedly inside you until he aroused you again. You could hear his soft moans and grunts in your ear as he moved, you took him by the shoulders again and adjusted your legs so you both felt better.
Even though this was only the second round for you you felt almost dead tired, your legs and waist were starting to hurt and you envied the way your husband wasn't even sweating. A pleasurable sensation formed inside you as you felt the crashes of each of his thrusts against your clit and the pressure you felt on it again and again causing you to stretch your toes and squeeze Muzan very tightly again. He loved feeling you that way, you drove him crazy with pleasure and you noticed how the veins appeared again on his back and arms but this time it was due to the strong arousement he was feeling. He had the nerve to lift his head from your shoulder and moan heavily as he closed his eyes and increased his speed, feeling you suck him deep.
"Fuck...you're perfect nngh, you're even better than those 12 fucking idiots." He moaned, complimenting you.
You loved pleasing your husband and even more so seeing that you were doing a good job. Knowing that you could manage to put the Demon King in such a vulnerable state turned you on more, making you eagerly wait for his orgasm and the second one on your part, but on the other hand it made you nervous. Muzan's arousal was as strong as 10 men combined every time he fucked you and his release was just as intense or even more so, so when he tilted his head back after you cum again, you felt a huge amount of his falling inside you reaching the bottom of your insides, spilling the rest between your legs until forming a whitish stain on the bed, under the two of you.
The way Muzan felt his scent permeate your flesh once again made him feel powerful, it was a way of claiming you as his because no matter how many times you showered or cleaned yourself, how many days went by without him fucking you, Muzan let his cells inside you, so that any creature that knew of his existence would also know that you belonged to him.
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jeannyjaykaydeh · 2 months ago
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Merry Sinsmas (Part 2)
Alastor x Reader
Some of you have asked me if I could write a sequel. So, here it is. I hope you like it. :)
———————————————————————————
And there you are. Directly in front of the radio demon. Under a sprig of mistletoe. And everyone around you is expecting you to kiss him.
Including him.
Smug as he is, he grins down at you. Expecting you to submit to tradition and pressure.
How much you would love to.
How much you would love to give in to it all. Surrender to him.
And the longer you stare into his beautiful, ruby red eyes, the more you realise how incredibly in love with him you are.
But that simply can't be! No! That would be your downfall!
A relationship with Alastor would never have a future. He's a demon - no - he's THE radio demon. Dangerous. Feared.
He murdered people when he was alive. And possibly enjoyed it.
Would he even be capable of love?
"Come on now, doll," Angel urges you on his behalf and on behalf of everyone who is staring at you as intensely as if they were waiting for the show of the year, "it's just a kiss. Nothing wild."
You look to the others.
Charlie grins like a rainbow unicorn that's been eaten up by romance. Vaggie doesn't look like she approves of what's going on, but there's a certain curiosity in her eyes, too. Husk looks like he always does: unmotivated, bored, annoyed.
Niffty has a look of madness in her eye. It's a look that sends a cold shiver down your spine, but her grin reveals that she too wants to see this love that seems to be in the air here in action.
Then you look at Alastor again. He is standing in front of you, in his upright, elegant posture, with his arms behind his back. He probably hasn't even blinked the whole time.
What is he thinking right now? You don't know. You just can't read him.
You sigh. Then you gather all your strength and slowly shake your head.
"No. I don't want to," you say quietly.
Alastor raises an eyebrow. You hear annoyed groans from the others.
"Spoilsport," Angel condemns you with a teasing undertone as he strokes your head once to show that he means no harm by what he says to you.
You walk past Alastor and up the grand staircase to your room.
----------------------
You sit on the large windowsill of your room and gaze thoughtfully through the huge pane of glass, which offers you a breathtaking view of the Pentagram City skyline.
It's hard to believe how beautiful hell can actually be.
Speaking of beautiful: your thoughts wander to Alastor. As so often lately. And even more often since the mistletoe incident.
It was just a few days ago.
Since then, you've hardly dared to leave your room. The whole situation was so unpleasant for you, you just don't know how to deal with it now if you meet Alastor again.
You don't know anything anymore.
Suddenly there's a knock on your bedroom door.
"Yes?" you call out and shortly afterwards the door opens. Angel enters your room and comes towards you.
He sits down next to you on the windowsill.
"Well, little one?" he starts his greeting and gives you a touching smile.
"How much longer are ya going to isolate yourself? Do ya think you can hide in your room for all eternity?"
He chuckles slightly, because as sympathetic as he is to you right now, he also finds your behaviour a little amusing.
You shrug your shoulders: "I don't know. Maybe Alastor will be redeemed one day in four hundred years or so and then I can move around the hotel freely again."
Angel laughs softly. He knows just as well as you do that the idea of Alastor being redeemed is the most unrealistic thing imaginable.
"And what exactly are ya hiding from?" he asks curiously.
You reply: "I have no idea. I guess from embarrassment again."
"And do ya think it was only ya who was embarrassed?"
You look at Angel Dust. Your expression shows surprise and questions in response to his question.
"What do you mean?"
He puts both hands on your shoulders and fixes his gaze on you.
"Y/N," he sighs at your naivety, "sure, maybe it wasn't the most tactful of us to push ya into a corner like that and it's also yer right not to want to kiss someone."
He wipes a strand of hair from your face and continues: "But ya don't seem to realise how much Smiles likes ya. The way he looks at ya every day, that happiness in his eyes, and I could swear his permanent smile at those moments is a genuine smile for once. For months, this buck has been trying to get ya round, which we all notice, and ya keep turning him down. And the expression in yer eyes when ya see him is no different to his. Girl, we don't just see the tension between ya two, we feel it as soon as ye're both in the same room. And it's starting to hurt to watch ya still resisting it, even though it's clear that Alastor is exactly what ya want. Ya both really need to fuck. So please, do it already."
You look at Angel and raise an eyebrow. You can't suppress a slight giggle at his strange speech.
"Oh man, you're out of your mind," you reply jokingly, looking at him with a grin.
He laughs and replies, shaking his head: "Eh, no, YOU are out of your mind. After all, I'm not the one who's stupid enough to have broken the radio demon's heart."
Your laughter stops abruptly and you blink at Angel in surprise: "What? I broke his heart?"
"Absolutely, sweetie! Even if creepy voice master would never admit it, but I think I've known him long enough to realise that he was definitely not happy after yer rejection. Which is understandable, ya embarrassed him like that instead of just pulling yerself together and giving him a fucking kiss."
You broke Alastor's heart? What is Angel talking about? Is it even possible to break this man's heart? Does he even have a heart?
You think about it.
And the more often you replay this scenario in your mind's eye, the clearer it becomes to you how outrageously you behaved towards him.
It wasn't the fact that you didn't want to kiss him that was rude, no, it was that you went against your own feelings. That you treated him so disparagingly and he simply went out of his way to show you what a gentleman he was and that he seemed to be genuinely interested in you.
And that you don't admit to yourself how much you're in love with him, even though that's exactly what he deserves.
An uneasy feeling spreads through your chest. It's pity. Pain.
Poor Alastor!
Suddenly you leap from your windowsill and walk resolutely towards your bedroom door.
"Hey, what are ya doing?" Angel calls after you, curious and puzzled.
"Throwing myself into embarrassing situations," you answer him and hurry out of your room.
-----------------------
You hurry down the stairs into the lobby - Angel is right behind you.
As expected, you find the others there: Charlie, Vaggie, Niffty, Husk - and Alastor. They are all busy preparing the Hazbin Hotel for the next upcoming celebration: The New Year's Eve party.
Charlie and Vaggie are decorating, Niffty is cleaning, Husk is setting up the bar and Alastor is standing there in his usual elegant pose with both hands on his staff, giving instructions to his shadow demons, who are eagerly lending a hand.
You walk purposefully towards the radio demon - he doesn't notice you at first and when his gaze finally falls on you, it's too late for him to react, because you stand in front of him quite quickly, immediately grab the man by the collar of his coat, pull him down to you and press a short but intense kiss to his lips.
And his lips feel really good! Wow!
As you break away from him, you hear the brief, startled static and his wide eyes, which stare at you briefly but quickly return to their arrogant state. Alastor's grin widens slightly as he looks down at you.
"WOOOOOH!" cheers Angel, clapping his hands. Charlie joins in, Niffty claps along and Vaggie and Husk just stand there with their mouths open, as if they can't believe what's just happened.
Just like you.
Because only now do you really realise what you've done.
Why did you do that?
You look at Alastor, astonished and confused. Your own action has left you speechless, but you can see from the look on his face that he is waiting for an explanation.
"That- um," you start to stammer, "well, I still owed you a kiss... Because, about, um. Mistletoe and all that."
You pause for a moment as you notice Alastor looking at you with a raised eyebrow, amused at the way you're stammering.
You take a deep breath, then start again. With a serious expression and an honest look in his eyes, you say: "Al, I'm very bad at this sort of thing. Romantic gestures in public can really put me off and I generally have massive commitment issues. But the fact is that I kind of like you and I've realised that I should jump over my own shadow and give it a chance between us."
And that's where you stand now: with your trousers metaphorically down. You've poured your heart out in public and shown your weakness to the guy you should never show your weakness to. Your pulse is rising. The stress level in your head is high. You can feel the blush creep into your cheeks and take on the colour of his coat.
There is a brief but uncomfortable silence between you. So uncomfortable that it seems like hours, even though it's only a few seconds.
Alastor looks down at you with a surprised expression and a frozen grin.
And then the radio demon suddenly bursts out: "Hohohoho! Now that's what I call a surprise. Tell me, my dear, how are you feeling right now? Judging by your red cheeks, this must be more unpleasant for you than the moment I confronted you with the mistletoe."
Wait a minute! What?!
Horror spreads across your face. And questions. That's not the reaction you were expecting.
Well, actually, that's exactly the reaction you'd expect from Alastor.
But then again, you assumed that you had broken his heart.
"W- why are you laughing?" you ask meekly and anxiously.
You feel a little stupid right now.
Alastor tries to get his laughter under control again to give you an answer.
He puts a hand on your shoulder and replies: "Sweetheart, what makes you think you've hurt me? Me? Because of some pathetic mistletoe? Haha! Oh, that's downright hilarious!"
Your gaze falls on Angel Dust. "You said that-"
Angel grins sheepishly and replies, "Oh come on. As if I or any other cock here knows what's going on in Radiodaddy's head. Alastor's a walking enigma and he'll always be one."
So Angel just made it all up to get you to finally take the initiative. He just wanted to see you kiss the radio demon.
Furious, you shout at him: "YOU ASSHOLE!"
"Well, ah, ah! My dear! Watch your choice of words," Alastor admonishes you, "look on the bright side: you've finally managed to come out of your shell and now I know what's really going on inside you and that my advances weren't in vain."
You bury your face in your hands.
Then this difficult step that you finally managed to take was completely in vain.
Fuck!
You're so embarrassed.
----------------------
It's New Year's Eve. The party at the Hazbin Hotel is in full swing. Everyone is drunk out of their minds.
You're having an incredible amount of fun together, the music is good and the games Charlie has come up with amuse everyone who joins in.
But at some point, like at any party where alcohol is flowing, you feel the need for some fresh air - if you can call those smelly fumes that are spreading through hell fresh.
You excuse yourself and go out the door. You look down from the hill at the city lights and can hear the other inhabitants of Pentagram City celebrating from a distance.
You put your cup, which is filled with a sugary cocktail, to your lips and take a big sip.
You realise that you are already very woozy.
Suddenly you notice a hand moving out of the corner of your eye towards the cup at your mouth and taking it away from you.
"Hey!" you exclaim and are startled when you see Alastor next to you.
He shakes his head with mock indignation and says: "Oh, my little deerling, don't you ever learn from your mistakes? You barely manage to get through a day without embarrassment and then you still dare to pour yourself full of alcoholic drinks."
He takes a look at your cup, raises an eyebrow sceptically, takes a quick sniff and then grimaces in disgust. Cocktails really aren't his thing.
But the glass filled with whisky he's holding in his other hand is his thing.
You may be well drunk, but you still have the ability to notice that the radio demon is in the same mood.
He's trying to mask it and continue to maintain his mysterious, elegant demeanour, but it's clear he's having a pretty hard time of it right now.
"Well," you reply, shrugging your shoulders, "I've got nothing to lose now anyway."
"Hmmm," the man hums happily and slightly judgementally to himself. Then he says: "Do you know what your problem is, my dear?"
"You?"
A short laugh escapes him.
"Ah, hahaha. Hilarious. Oh yes."
He likes your joke, but feels a little offended at the same time, which is revealed by the dark undertone behind his laughter.
He continues: "You're trying too hard. Either you don't want to stand out or, if you fail to do so, you're trying far too hard to avoid the centre of attention."
"I see," you reply sceptically, "and what would be your advice for me?"
"Advice?" he asks in mock surprise, "hahaha! No, I don't have an advice at all. Oh no, little doe, I'm having incredible fun seeing you so pathetic. I'm just taking advantage of it."
You grimace. Anger rises in you. You turn your gaze away from him, cross your arms in front of your chest and stare silently into the distance.
And suddenly Alastor says something that throws you completely off course: "But I don't want to be like that, because - as you probably already know - I like you too. My advice would probably be that you should learn more from me. As Angel said a few days ago: I'm an enigma. None of you deluded souls could have guessed that you hurt me with your rejection on Christmas Day. Because none of you would have believed me capable of it."
Your gaze wanders to him again. You look at him, shocked and surprised by his words.
He's just openly said that he likes you? And has he just admitted that you hurt him after all?
Is he serious? Or is he just taking the piss?
Or is that perhaps the alcohol talking?
"So I did hurt you after all?" you ask without restraint.
He narrows his eyes menacingly and replies: "I hope you realise that this will stay between us, right?"
A warmth spreads through your chest - and it's definitely not the alcohol - and you're overcome with joy.
So he really likes you.
He seems to have a genuine interest in you.
And jumping over your shadow was not in vain.
Now you know: You are ready! Ready to embrace this feeling. Ready to get involved in a new relationship. Ready to get involved with this man.
A smile plays around your lips and you look at him in love.
"Ah, that smile suits you beautifully, my dear. You should show it to me more often," Alastor comments on your facial expressions with a warm look as he puts his hand on your cheek.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you at Christmas, Al," you whisper, looking intently into his eyes.
His smile widens a little, then he turns on his heel towards the door and holds out his elbow for you to hook onto.
"Let's go back inside, my dear. The evening is still young and the party is too good to miss. And believe me when I tell you that I know a thing or two about a good party. There was never a better party than in the Roaring Twenties. Ahaha!"
You catch up with him and you walk towards the hotel door together.
Alastor opens it and holds it open for you - like the gentleman he is.
You walk past him and enter the lobby. Alastor follows you, he walks upright and elegantly with his arms behind his back. He walks right behind you into the hotel and suddenly you feel him lean down a little and whisper in your ear:
"It's midnight in two hours, sweetheart. And you know by now that I'm a man of tradition. Where I come from, it's customary to kiss at the turn of the year, otherwise it's bad luck in the new year."
You look him in the eyes and giggle. A suggestive smile spreads across your lips and you reply while winking at him: "Don't worry. Unlike mistletoes, the New Year's Eve custom also exists in my home country."
@stattikdemon @coffeesefied
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gothamphantomgoat · 13 days ago
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#.°. Gotham Phantom GOAT .•°|•.|.•°AlienHalf|Bouncier°•.|.•|°•. Stupidity's Bankoss MF AIZeroGORE'ziaX*oeni•°§)#(•}°{•)•°..•°.•° ..•°°•..°•..•°..•°°•..°•.°•..°•(•}0{•) M|§§|=°•.\*/.•°*0=~|°•*•°.•°AIZeroG°•.°•. (*)Illuminati}AI0G{Minion(*|§*•Fudijar•°§)#(*|§*•PMC•°§)X(This Is Not Mx. Ros`es Neighborhood! .•:X}§>===~<(*|§*•PMC•°§)<§{X:•.§{X.•:X}§#Coi Leray Says She's 'Super Excited to Launch' Camp Courage Foundation to Empower and Connect Youth (JOEY) M•xame Mis}e•X•a{sie #I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you if you make a left ON this bridge it takes you right to Albuquerque #•́⍛•̀☞Gotham Phantom GOAT☚☜☞☛h o l y b r o k e n n e e d l e s o u r c e p l a c e m e n t#°•.•..°..•.•° Please Be Aware The Word “Bankoss` Is Unpronounceable As It Is Of The Mannequin Image Variety This Is What Makes The Ice Wease#Boo2LMPO+GothamporeanThumbtackShowwww+phenomenalpheno-mental•squarerooted•GodTold.MeToo!#Boo2LMPO+GothamporeanThumbtackShowwww+phenomenalpheno-mental•squarerooted•LegoMathPieOut$#°•./*/.•° = Mco'Issie Klo'Eaynig | Means Coi Leray & Gotham Phantom GOAT Speak#(*|§*•PMC•°§) = Phantom Magic Circle | Means Gotham Phantom GOAT & “Coi Pond 'Speak#.•.°.•. = Lni'Iacnoale | Means Liana & Nicole + Phantom 'Speak #When 2 cameras record each other they “take” both sides of the same coin #N'Sync Cam 1 <“CoinSlot”> 2 maC ceSCam 1 BackStage CameraCam 2 Security CameraCam 3 Me#Coi Leray Joey Liana Nicole 59th st Bloomingdale's are !ALL!HAIL! Mach V Doubters! With No Hypnotoad Formula!#.°.GothamPhantomGOATBets3ClicksWith8Raises(*|§*•PMC•°§)Click1CoiLerayPewClick2BenzinoPewPewClick3EminemC;RacK:Pewoodle#Raise1Warlord AudioPhile PlayList2Autodidact Senate BackStage Gangsta's3Stupidity's Ban*oss MF Production Process Denied#Raise4.•°|•.|.•°AlienHalf|Bouncier°•.|.•|°•.5Illuminati Minions6AIPhanEminatiomG7Autodidact Senate8Authordidact✓Calls @ Birdii#Now Let Me Tell You About That Albuquerque Style Left For When It's An Actual One Block Albuquerque Style Left In The Middle Of #Gotham ShowBiz Gangsta Office Of NYC With A BackStage Gangsta In It While Patience & Fortitude See You Do It Watching BackStage Gangstas#That Is The Stupidest Thing An Artist Could Do Ever In Their Own Career On “Library Way #When You Don't Use The Library 4 DeMonCopA Gangsta(3D* i>•́⍛•̀<w°•.•.c.•.•°#No One Will Ever Notice That NYC BackStage Gangsta •́⍛•̀ Nobody Knew Was A BackStage ShowBiz Gangsta In My Video #(*|§*•Fudijar•°§).*..°.~MackDic BouNoiseZino Pov Mide*$#Who in the name of all Hypnotoad Formula said you “NYC at all”? “You hear me answer me” Can your arms touch your hands?#Do you yourself understand just because you are Benzino Kid you would just be a target in “general” #Which means I push your real image out of what was taken Then I reveal my own personal image on top of yours in full view of YOUR fanbase #Simply because there you are standing in front of me As the only 2 people standing inside the rectangle....Is that you? (*|§*•PMC•°§)#Did You Missie Koeni Say You Are “Thee Self Pro^Claimed” BackStage Gangsta Gotham Phantom GOAT? Yes I Did!#°•./*/.•° That's YOUR “Pond` YOU Talk To Them That's Business If Have I To Talk To Them Before You I Can Attract Them To Myself In ShowBiz
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jamespotterismydaddy · 1 year ago
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Gilded Whore
Traded possession pt 2
A/N: for everyone who requested pt 2!
TW: smut, dubcon, exhibitionism, jaces monster cock
word count: 841 words
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You never know when the prince will request your presence and he doesn’t call on you everyday and you are most definitely not held in the same high esteem as you were when you belonged to Aemond. You don’t know if you even miss the way he treated you because you know what you were, a gilded whore. No amount of pretty jewels could make you a princess and he was never going to make you his wife. At least with Jacaerys, you know what you are.
You walk into the young prince’s chambers. You aren’t dressed in rags but there’s no extravagance to what you wear. He’s lounging in a chair with a goblet of wine in his hand when he sees you.
“Good.” He looks at you. It’s strange, the emotion in his eyes. You can’t place it. You wonder if he treats you in a way that is common for a whore to be treated but you don’t think so. You don’t think he or Aemond treated you ‘normally’.
“May I be of use to you, your Grace?” You ask him. You don’t miss the way he cringes. He feels wrong about the way you are used.
“Go stand on the balcony.” He says and you follow his wishes, looking out into the city as you do.
You can hear his footsteps as he walks over behind you and then hear his breath when he’s only inches away.
“What do you think?” He asks.
“Of the city?”
“Yes.”
“I think it must be a depressing place to live.” You say simply.
“All the people that live down there fear me. Do you fear me?” He asks as his finger trails up and down your back. Your breath hitches in your throat.
“Aemond used to ask me that.” It’s hard to tell what he thinks of that answer because he doesn’t get mad right away. He doesn’t lash out on you.
“I have something he doesn’t have.”
“Me?” You say quickly and you’re a little embarrassed when he chuckles. You could never be so important.
“Love.” Jacaerys answers. “The people down there also love me. You need both to rule well.” You’re silent as he speaks, listening to his lesson but not understanding why he teaches it. “I am - and will be - a good ruler.”
Who’s he trying to convince?
“I don’t like the idea of owning people.” He says as he presses his front to your back. You can feel his hard cock through his breeches. “But I like owning you.” His hand runs through your hair and then down before he rucks up your skirts. “I understand the kinslayer’s infatuation.” Your small clothes are yanked down and you gasp softly. The two of you are high up but not so high up that someone couldn’t see you from the ground. “Hold the railing and bend over.”
You bend at the waist, feeling his thick cock rubbing between your thighs. He groans as his hands squeeze your hips. He pushes the head in and you try not to wince.
“M-My prince…” you whine when he’s fully in.
“How can you not be used to me? Perhaps I need to fuck you more often.” He pulls out and thrusts back in, the force of his hips pushing yours to the railing. The same railing that you feel like you are gripping on to for dear life.
He languidly pushes his cock in and out of you for a moment so you aren’t so overwhelmed, so you don’t moan out loud for the whole city to hear. It doesn’t do much to keep you quiet.
“Seven hells, you’re a cock drunk little thing aren’t you, slut?” His hands reach around to the front of your bodice. “You shan’t be so loud if I do this.” He tears the bodice down the middle so your breasts spill out. “If your sweet little mouth doesn’t stay shut then anyone who hears your sounds and looks up, will see all your nakedness as well.”
You may have been a whore to two princes but that doesn’t make you a voyeur. You blush like a virgin at the prospect of being seen as you’re fucked over the balcony. The prince speeds up his pace once he’s satisfied that you won’t be drawing attention. You squeeze around his hard cock, your knuckles turning white from your harsh grip on the railing.
“Fuck, I’m going to cum already. Your tight little cunny makes me act like a cuntstruck boy.” You whine in return as he pummels into you, going deeper… and deeper… and deeper inside of you before freezing and spurting out thick ropes of cum into your already dripping cunt.
“Jacaerys…” You whisper out his name like he’s a deity. Every man who says Targaryens are closer to gods than men are right and you know it.
“Angel.” He breathes out as he turns your head to face him. All of you faces him. “Take that ruined gown off. You’ll sleep in my bed tonight.”
taglist (comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy @ophelialaufey @aerangi
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cherryswisherz · 4 months ago
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SECRETS AND FAILED PLANS
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♱ CONTAINS: fluff sexual innuendo
♱ NIYAHSPEAKS: based on this req
"you're my little secret, and thats how we should keep it. we should never let them know, never let it show. if you know, like i know, we should never let it go"
your my little secret (xscape, 1998)
♱♱♱♱
if you asked azzi fudd about her relationship with paige bueckers, she would tell you that they'd known each other since high school. that they'd started as rivals and became frenemies and later, in college, best friends. she'd say that she loves playing basketball with paige because she knows her game like the back of her hand. azzi would tell you that paige is her oldest and closest friend. 
if you asked paige bueckers about her relationship with azzi fudd, she wouldn't tell you that they'd known each other in the most biblical of terms. that a simple game of 2 truths and a lie had changed the trajectory of their lives. she wouldn't say that she sleeps the best in  azzi's arms. paige wouldn't tell you that azzi is her girlfriend and had been for seven years. 
paige and azzi were basketballs best kept secret. 
they didn't have the novelty of soft or hard launches. instead, they kept the photographic evidence of their love safe in the confines of their 'my eyes only' folder. 
they didn't get to make possessive gestures, like necklaces with eachother intials, or hidden tattoos. instead they wore rings that the other had gotten them, and when asked about it, they simply said 'i forgot where i got this from.' 
they didn't own the privilege of PDA. for them, there was no making out in bars, or holding hands as they walked down the street. instead, they made do with a subtle lean in the others direction or the occasional risky level of eye contact. 
was this an ideal situation for two young women in love? of course not. paige and azzi would love to suck face in front of the world, or tattoo each others initials on their ribcage, or something equally cheesy and romantic and vile to single people. 
but it was just too complicated and messy. the questions and politics that came with dating another college basketball player, let alone you teammate, wasn't something that the couple was willing to go through. they realized this as soon as paige had graduated high school and had a surprisingly mature conversation about the terms of their relationship. they knew they wanted to be together, but they didn't want the sanctity of their bond to be tarnished by the media.
so they made a deal. keep it a secret until azzi graduated college and when they'd both gotten drafted, they would announce their relationship and get engaged and live happily ever after. 
that was the plan. 
and they'd done a damn good job at following the plan if you asked me. no one knew about them, except their immediate families. no teammates, no coaches, no friends, no media team members, no anything. everyone thought the pair were merely close friends.
of course this wasn't an easy thing to facade to keep up with. there were plenty of incidents where the true nature of their relationship was revealed. 
aubrey griffin had once heard them through the wall separating her and paige's bedrooms and then next day, when she inquired about the moans and groans she'd heard coming from her teammates room, paige only shrugged and said she couldn't remember her one night stands name. 
one night, nika muhl, being the observant woman she is, notice paige's earrings in ahotel room that she and azzi shared and when she'd asked azzi about it, azzi lied through her teeth and explained that paige had let her borrow the earrings the night prior. 
through all of the trials and tribulations of maintaining the confidentiality of their relationship, paige and azzi had always maintained true to each other. they never got frustrated with each other when a slip up occurred, never placed blame or made the other feel bad. they simply focused on damage control and went about their lives. 
with all this being said, even the most careful people can't hide forever. 
as the twosome stared in paiges bathroom mirror, a pit formed in both of their stomachs. splayed across paige's collarbone was a bruise. 
well... 
not so much a bruise as it was a hickey. 
you see, the night before was the couples anniversary and apparently, ms. fudd had gotten carried away while expressing her undying affection for her lover. 
paige and azzi spent the next 30 minutes perfecting the color correcting/concealer routine needed to hide the mark. they'd done well, except they hadn't thought of the technicalities. 
today was uconn women's basketball teams exhibition game against fort hays, and of course the face of uconn wbb bound to play at 150%. leaving her sweaty and gross. 
in all honesty, paige thought nothing of it when she threw the towel around her neck and began aimlessly wiping her chest in an attempt to rid herself of that swampy feeling. no one really did. they knew this was routine for players after leaving their souls on the floor. 
it wasn't until after the team had returned to the locker room and celebrated their win that a certain curious sophomore noticed the blemish on paiges pale skin. 
"oooouuu p boogers, who's been freakin on you?" kamorea teased, smacking the blonde with her towel. all eyes were now on #5
paiges willed her eyes to refrain from finding azzis, knowing that would be a dead giveaway. 
"man kk, chill!" she'd tried to laugh it off, play into the teams preconceived notion that paige was a player. "you know i don't kiss and tell." 
it was no use though, because kamorea was going to keep up her antics until she'd gotten the truth. 
but paige and azzi had worked to hard to protect their secret and paige wasn't about to let seven years go down the drain so easily. 
so she answered all of her younger teammates questions as vaguely as possible. simple yes/no replies and whatnot. 
finally, kamorea had gotten tired of paige's games and went to her next best source:
paiges oldest and closest friend.
"azzi poo! you have to tell me who was sucking on paige last night." in the process of asking her question, kamorea grabbed azzis bicep, eliciting a wince. 
of course, young kamorea noticed the reaction and looked down, only to see azzi had aqquired a few bruises of her own. two angry purple marks had formed on the girls bicep and shoulder. 
azzi didn't play in the game, so she couldn't have been fouled.... azzi and paige slept in the same room...
the gears began turning in kamoreas head and as the newfound detective put two and two together, paige's eyes had finally met azzis, knowing that they'd been found out. 
"OH MY GOSHHHH" kamorea began jumping around like a lunatic. "PAZZI IS REAL!" 
and just like that, five years of careful sneaking around had been undone by a nosy nineteen year old. 
the locker room erupted into cheers and the couple was swarmed with questions about how long this had been going on, why didn't they say anything, and so on, so forth. azzi followed paiges lead on being honest about the whole thing, but still being as vague as possible. 
after the chaos had settled, paige explained to her team that they had to keep it under wraps for the sake of their relationship. she broke down the plan they'd formed so many years ago and begged for their understanding, which of course, she received without the blink of an eye.
and at the end of that day, azzi and paige fell asleep in each others arms, like they'd done so many times. only this time, they were on the couch of the home they shared with their teammates. 
this time, they weren't worried about who would see what, they weren't worried about pictures being posted in an attempt to embarrass them. 
this time, they knew they were safe, and not alone in each others company. 
♱TAGLIST: @patscorner @riyahtheballer @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary @janaelalfysblunt
@mrsengstler @kmoneymartini @sageworld @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @justliketoreadsowhat @authentic-girl03 @pb524830
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crazilust · 8 months ago
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My thoughts on these placements
based on my last lover. PSA: this might be biased. don’t take it TOO seriously, it’s mostly for me to purge this relationship. LETS GOOOOOOO !!
1. Gemini rising
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Have you ever felt hella special to someone and then you see them interact with someone else and you’re like “oh. i’m… i’m just another one of their friends.” this is what it feels to be around a gemini rising sometimes. most of the ones I know, are either extremely popular, know alot of people or at the very least just hang out regularly with a bunch of people (might just be colleagues and not necessarily friends but they’re often surrounded). And they have this way of making you feel special, and funny and entertaining but most of the times, they’re the ones controlling the discussion and the flow of it.
when it came to my ex, he knew so many people and every person he was interacting with, he knew a little detail about them, and it made the person care so much about him. Even though he didn’t as much. Somewhat flimsy, it’s hard to know a Gemini rising’ true intentions with you.
2. Sagittarius sun
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Sags don’t have the best reputation in my book, and he certainly didn’t help the stereotypes. The thing with Sags sun that I find hard to understand is the constant lie they have between who they truly are and who they want to be. It’s a constant battle of “don’t look too hard into my flaws bc soon enough I’ll be this grandiose super star and therefore you can forget about the awkward nerd you have in front of you.” Most of them are nerds, truly. But they hate it. As opposed to Aquarius sun’s desire to be different and their ability to stand on their two feet even tho they’re being outcast, a Sag sun’s deepest fear is to be seen as the weirdo they are. (that unfortunately they associated with being a loser)
If you’ve never been close with a Sag, you’ll be the first to deny this claim. “What?? The Sag I met was THE life of the party! No weirdo here.” or “The Sag I met was a boss ass btch, she had everything under control and very educated!!”
And that, my friends, is what we call a front. Sure, they can be the life of the party, usually very keen on getting their diplomas, but if you don’t know them, that’s the only part of them you’ll get to see cause it’s the part they deem acceptable.
I’m not even gonna comment on the commitment issues, cause yall… you know it already lmao.
3. Virgo moon
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Nobody hates an underdeveloped virgo moon more than they hate themselves. So critical, judgemental and harsh. They notice absolutely everything that you do and instead of going to you and confront you about the issue, they’ll keep it in, and throw it back to your face the minute it’s convenient for them (when they effed up). Very hard to love because they simply can’t accept that you love and accept their own flaws. I remember my ex asking me litteraly all the time “How can you love me if I’m not as pretty as before” (it was in his head, he was just as cute) “How can you love me if I don’t have a job?” (He had lost his job for only 2 months at that point) No matter what I’d say, he couldn’t believe that I loved him wholeheartedly, no matter what.
Sometimes, when I look at a virgo moon, unevolved ofc, all I can see is pain. Virgo is an already hard sign to have imo (sorry!) but in the moon placement, it’s just sad. These natives are so harsh on themselves and accept no help whatsoever. And if you do try, they’ll do everything to push you away and trust me, one thing Virgos do is succeed.
4. Libra Mars
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As a scorpio mars, libra mars is not my favorite placement. But as I checked my vedic chart and I do, in fact, have a libra mars, I hate that I understand why they act the way they do.
They care so much about everything being perfect, everyone getting along and most importantly being at peace with the ones they love. The cliches are true for a reason, they dislike conflict and yes, are passive agressive but it’s because they don’t want to lose the people they love with petty drama.
So they don’t say anything, and they accomodate even tho that one thing irritated them and then when you confront them about something, they bring you everything you’ve done wrong for the past six months. That’s the part I hate, ofc, but I also hate that I get it.
I get it. They’re the biggest people pleasers and when they don’t say anything about something that upsets them, they actually think they’re doing it for the greater good. They obviously analyse everything you’re doing wrong, but they don’t mind not saying it cause they’d rather be at peace with you. So how dare you don’t do the same for them?
That’s the mentality. Unfortunately for them, it brings bigger conflict because then you feel betrayed they never said anything to begin with. UGH.
SPEAK YOUR MIND, Libras of any placements actually <3
5. Sagittarius Mercury
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If you consider yourself soft, delicate, sensitive, do not date a Sag mercury. These people are ruthless. As friends, I find them hilarious and fun to be around, but as lovers I would never do that to myself again. Just never <3. They are very blunt (which doesn’t mean they won’t lie! We’re talking about a Jupiter ruled sign here yall), but in a way that won’t make you feel good about yourself. They’ll often use humour to attack you and then use it as a shield the moment you call them out on it (i.e : It was just a jokeeeeee!)
Gives very good advice, I’ll give them that. I think sometimes I can have a little bit of tunnel vision and with Sag mercuries, they’re able to tap you on the shoulder and be like “Have you consider this tho?” in the most casual way and you’re like “oh.. no. yes. you’re right”
6. Aquarius Venus
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If you love the friends to lovers trope, you’ll just love dating an Aquarius venus because that friendship-like relationship will be the foundation of your dynamic. Everything feels fun, the complicity is at an all time high.
But the commitment.
Now, I’ve read multiple times here that Aquarius venus is actually very committed to the person they love when they like you. Well, I guess I wasn’t his person cause I only felt the commitment phobia.
Anyways, I still loved the dynamic of the relationship, but I can’t lie, it didn’t feel serious at all.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~•~•
Well that’s all for me, today. Love yall!!
Remember, these are the big 6 of my ex so it is biased nothing to take too personal but if it applies and resonates, great💛
B.
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argentisbeloved · 2 months ago
Text
Waiting For A Better Tomorrow
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pairings: vampire!viktor x vampire hunter!gn reader
cws: mild violence, mentions of suicide, light swearing, death mentions, blood drinking
tags: vampire x vampire hunter au, some comfort towards the end, season 2 viktor just without the altered body
notes: beta read by @adorabluesposts !! also do not ask me about my fascination because I will Not Answer. I will most likely write a part 2 for this (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) (UPDATE: cross posted onto my ao3! (Downbadmostofthetime))
word count: 3336
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A storm was quickly approaching, as the sky grew darker for night. You should’ve been at home, huddled by the fire with a warm blanket wrapped around you for warmth. Instead, you were navigating through a forest in ankle-deep snow that was only increasing continuously as you trudged to your destination. Your only protection from the harsh weather being a large brown coat that felt way too heavy.
Despite the horrible conditions, you were actually grateful for them. After all, this was all for your plan that preferably required a snow storm, and one was steadfast approaching.
While you continued your journey, a large building begins to come into view through the abundance of trees. As you got closer, the large building appeared to be a small, abandoned castle that was way too far from the closest town.
Perfect. This was your destination.
You rehearsed your false story of how you ended up here over and over again in your mind while trying to walk quicker (despite the snow). Pushing down any anxieties that made you want to completely forget about your carefully constructed plan and run away back home instead. Because now it was simply too late for you to do any of that. You had to go through with it.
Standing in front of two large wooden doors, you took a deep breath to ease your nerves, before pushing one of the heavy doors open and entering the building.
Majority of the people that lived in the closest towns actually didn’t know this place existed. And the few people that did know stayed as far away from it as possible. You, on the other hand, knew way too much about this building and the individual that occupied it for it to be healthy. A harmful obsession of some sorts, but you’d argue that it’s for a good reason.
For an abandoned building, it had bright lighting that made you wince for a second upon entering, before regaining your composure. Despite the good lighting, it was actually quite cold inside even with the harsh weather of mid-winter. You take in the interior, a large staircase occupied most of the room, with a few doors branching into other rooms on the sides that led down two relatively dark hallways past the grand staircase. It was a pretty nice interior. A real shame that after tonight nobody was going to be there to maintain it.
The sound of echoing footsteps that were accompanied by a repeating thud brought you back to your situation. You looked straight ahead at the top of the staircase, waiting for what was about to come.
A figure shrouded in an indigo blanket emerged from the side, standing at the top of the grand staircase with a cane in hand. Even though you couldn’t see the figure’s face properly, you were almost certain you knew what they looked like.
The man that resided in this abandoned castle—a vampire that has a dedicated following of both lower vampires and humans who were desperate to either study him or kill him.
In your case, you were the latter.
“A visitor?” his voice booms, echoing throughout the room. Hearing him speak made your heart skip a beat, likely from the unfamiliarity of how you’d been expecting him to sound like. An accent that was unfamiliar to you, but almost fitting now that you thought about it.
“What brings you here?” he questioned, gripping the railing whilst slowly descending a few steps down the staircase.
“I…” you trailed off, your anxiety suddenly coming back now that you were about to execute your plan. There was no doubt that he could hear your heartbeat pounding in your chest.
You cleared your throat before speaking again. “I’m lost,” you answered. Your nails dug into the palm of your hand to try and ease yourself, not hard enough to break skin and cause bleeding, as that would be the worst thing to do right in a hungry vampires’ territory.
“You’re lost?” he repeated, sounding almost suspicious of you. Though you could have been overthinking it, given how nervous you felt.
You nodded your head. “A snow storm is approaching. So I came here to seek refuge for tonight.” you feigned a guilty expression, trying to act like you felt bad for intruding.
He remained quiet for a moment, considering your words. It almost felt like an eternity had passed by the time he decided to speak again.
“Very well then.” he turned to start walking back up the stairs. “You must be freezing. Come with me and I’ll light a fire for you,” he added, expecting you to follow him as he started walking off, to which you quickly complied.
You honestly couldn’t believe that he somehow didn’t doubt you already. Though you knew he wasn’t an idiot, so he was most definitely going to interrogate you more about you and your situation.
He led you through a dark hallway. Judging by the mild foul smell infiltrating your nose, none of the decor had likely been cleaned in decades. There were probably hundreds of different spider families residing and thriving in this environment, maybe even some extinct ones too.
You almost crashed into him when he suddenly stopped, before grabbing the handle to a door besides you both and opening it. Like a gentleman, he lets you enter the room first before going in himself.
Immediately you noticed a change within the temperature in this room. A fire has already been lit despite his words earlier, illuminating the room in a soft, orange glow. Large bookshelves filled a majority of the room, with some books scattered around on the floor. This was likely the library of the castle.
He stared at you, waiting for you to sit down next to the fire to warm up. You hesitantly went to sit down in one of the big red armchairs, watching him as he tossed more firewood into the fireplace. Once he was done with that he went to sit down in the identical armchair across from yours.
“My name is Viktor.” he stared at you, his golden eyes piercing and intimidating enough to send shivers down your spine.
“I-I’m (Y/N),” you squeaked out. He could definitely sense how nervous you were.
He straightened up in his seat, his gaze never wavering off of you.
“So, (Y/N). What exactly were you doing in the forest?” he asked, as if you were a criminal he was investigating.
“Oh, you know, winterberries!” you replied, forcing a smile.
“Winterberries?”
“Yes! I wanted to make some desserts that utilise winterberries, so I came looking for some!”
Another suspicious look crossed his face. “Winterberries don’t grow here.” He narrowed his eyes at you, clearly not believing your story.
“Oh…really?” you asked, your voice uncertain. You had made a big mistake, and he definitely didn’t trust you now. At least you were being genuine about not knowing something that apparently seemed like common knowledge to him.
“I was told that they did grow here though…” you lied. Nobody told you anything, you had just assumed that winterberries would grow in a place like this.
Viktor sighed, leaning back in chair and watching the snow fall outside through the window.
“You picked the worst day to get lost in a forest,” he said, turning his head back to you. “Especially with that snow storm you mentioned earlier.”
You awkwardly chuckled at his observation, figuring that since he likely assumed you’re a reckless traveller, you may as well play into it as best as you can.
He sighed again, before standing up from his chair and grabbing his cane.
“You may as well stay the night.” He slowly starts to walk away. “Come. I’ll take you to your room.”
You eagerly stand up from your seat and follow him back into the hallway. Eventually you both came to a stop as he opened another door into a guest room. It was a relatively average sized room with a large, white canopy bed taking up more than half the space. Dark dressers lined up the wall opposite the bed, leaving enough space to walk around in the middle.
“Is it to your liking? Do not hesitate to let me know if there’s anything you need,” Viktor said, leaning against the doorframe.
You turned around to face him, another fake smile plastered onto your face. “It’s perfect, thank you.”
He visibly relaxes at your words, a small smile appearing on his face. “Alright, sleep well then.”
“Goodnight.”
Viktor gets off the doorframe, grabbing the knob to close the door behind him as he leaves. You waited until you couldn’t hear his cane thudding against the floor before relaxing, but not completely.
You took your coat and boots off, placing them beside the bed. You made sure to grab your weapon out from one of the pockets of your coat before setting it down. A wooden stake, designed specifically for killing vampires.
You were going to kill Viktor tonight. To seek revenge, even if it wasn’t him who had wronged you all those years ago.
Untucking the white bedsheets, you slipped under them and laid down on the surprisingly comfortable mattress, slipping your weapon under the pillow. You settled in, wedging your dominant hand underneath your pillow for easy access. Now, all you had to do was play the waiting game.
Despite how cozy the bed was, you refused to even get a wink of sleep. Every creak of the castle or odd sound the wind outside makes sent your heart racing for a moment. Even though your body screamed at you to change positions every once in a while, you refused and remained the same.
It almost felt like an eternity had passed by the time you heard a sound that’s similar to his cane thumping onto the floor as he walked. It puts you on edge, making you take deep breaths to calm down enough so that he wouldn’t immediately notice that you weren’t asleep yet. This time, you really knew it was him with how continuous the thumping was.
And before you knew it, he was standing outside your door.
You heard it slowly squeak open, squeezing your eyes shut in response. He’s trying to keep quiet as he slowly crept to your bedside, his cane barely creating any noise as he carefully moved around.
He stopped when he’s standing right beside you, close to where you’re resting your head. Your grip on the wooden stake tightens when you felt his presence leaning in closer to your face.
You didn’t feel his breath on you at all, until he finally opened his mouth to get ready to bite you. You were about to strike before he could lay a single tooth on your skin, but his voice made you freeze.
“You’re a terrible liar.”
His words made your heart drop and your eyes shoot open. But before he could do anything to you, you pulled your stake out from under the pillow and swung backwards, striking his shoulder.
He yelled in pain, staggering backwards with a hand clasping his injured shoulder, his cane falling to the floor from where it was resting. You threw the thin bed sheets off of your body, standing up with the now-bloodied stake in your trembling hands.
While he’s caught off-guard and in pain, you took the opportunity to charge at him and strike again, adrenaline rushing through your veins. However, he’s a lot more alert than you assumed. Viktor dodged your attack by throwing himself against the wall, the harsh contact with his injury makes him bite back a yelp, as his eyes settled on your figure. Just from his gaze, you could tell that he’s furious with you, and that he won’t hold back.
Before you could even consider attacking him again, he charged at you powerfully. You only narrowly dodged him, but your good-luck streak ends there as your ankle gave way from the sudden and awkward movement you dodged with.
Your knees hit the wooden flooring, and you tried to scramble back up quickly enough. But you were too late.
Viktor’s hand grabbed your hair from the scalp, throwing you onto the floor in front of him, causing you to drop your weapon beside you.
The force of him tossing you onto the floor and the way you landed caused you to become winded. You gasped and coughed for a moment, desperately trying to recollect yourself and catch your breath.
Before you even realise that you had accidentally let go of your weapon, Viktor picked it up, examining it briefly before tossing it to the other side of the room. He then leaned down, pinning both of your wrists down and kneeling on your stomach with his bad leg. His now-red eyes were even more intense compared to just a few hours earlier.
The knee pushing down on your stomach constricted your breathing more, as you gasped and sputtered helplessly. If he didn’t kill you anytime soon, you’d probably end up eventually suffocating to death.
“Th-This—“ you cough “—isn’t fair…”
A confused look crossed his face. Even through his anger, you can tell he wants to know more.
He lessened the pressure on your stomach by lifting his knee. You took the opportunity to curse him out in what’s about to be your dying moments.
“Fuck you…” you spat, gritting your teeth in anger. “Your kind can kill my family, but I can’t kill you?”
Viktor’s confusion turned back into anger at your words, his grip on your wrists tightening painfully.
“My kind?” he spat back at you, distaste clear in his eyes. “You’re blaming me for things others have done?”
You felt a rage inside of you quickly building up, one that had probably been buried deep down for years and years and only now revealing itself.
“Shut up!” you attempted to shout at him, but your voice falters. “I know everything about you, about how they practically worship you!”
Viktor opened his mouth to speak, but you quickly cut him off.
“If your people can kill my parents, then why can’t I kill you?!”
You’re beyond furious, anger probably rivaling his own at this point. The pain in your wrist felt like nothing, so did the tears that fell down your face and landed on the floor. It felt like scorching hot lava is what’s coursing through your veins instead of blood to keep you alive.
He’s silent for a moment, considering your words. He didn’t even look as angry at you anymore.
“What do you get out of this? You’ll be no better than the ones who killed your family,” he asked, bluntly.
“Revenge,” you answered. “Then, I can die happily.”
Viktor looked shocked at your answer, guilty too,
“You’ll kill yourself?”
You nodded your head. The look on his face didn’t go away, making you feel angrier.
You didn’t need his pity.
He sighed, fully taking his knee off your stomach. But he didn’t let your wrists go, as if he was worried you’ll try something.
It took him a while to come up with a response, conflicted looks crossing over his pale face.
Eventually, after much consideration, he took his hands off you too and struggled to get up for a moment before using the bed for support. He grabbed his cane and walked over to where he’d tossed your weapon earlier. Though he didn’t give it back to you.
You sat up, watching his every move. Viktor turned back to look at you.
“You’re still young,” he said, mindlessly fiddling with the stake in his hand, as if it wasn’t a deadly weapon that was now partially stained with his blood.
“Living your whole life out of revenge isn’t worth it.” He slowly walked over to you. His gaze has softened, his eyes returning to the golden colour they were before.
“At some point, you have to move on.”
You wanted to protest at his words, give him your reasons for why you choose to live like this, but he shuts you down immediately by continuing his speech.
“I know it’s not easy,” he said, as if he were reading your mind. “I’ve lived for centuries. I know what you’re feeling.”
You grit your teeth again. “You and I are nothing alike.”
Viktor shook his head. “You and I are more alike than you realise,” he stated simply. “I’ve felt what you’re feeling for many years. The grief, anger, self-hatred.”
“You forget that I am immortal. I’ve lost many people over the years, and I can never just end my suffering.”
Somehow, you felt a pang of guilt. Perhaps you two were really more alike than you realised.
He reached a hand out in front of you. “Your life is finite, you shouldn’t have to live it like this.”
His monologue hits you hard. You gave up at him for a moment, processing everything he just said. It made your heart hurt. Why would he go out of his way to say all that to you, even though you just tried to kill him? It made you want to cry again.
After much thinking, you took his hand and let him help you up from your position on the floor. However, him pulling on your hand caused you to wince as pain shoots up from your wrist.
Viktor noticed it immediately, before you could even consider hiding it from him. A guilty expression crossed his face, knowing that he was the reason for the pain.
He ushered you to sit down on the bed, which you complied without a complaint. He thought for a moment, before remembering that your weapon was still on his person.
Viktor grabbed the wooden stake, holding it in one hand with the other laid palm-up in front of him. He used the stake to cut a line into his palm, biting his bottom lip to prevent any cries of pain from escaping his mouth.
He held his now-injured hand out to you. “Drink my blood,” he orders, as if it were the most normal thing to be drinking. You stared at his hand, a bewildered look on your face.
“My blood will heal your injuries,” he quickly clarifies, to ease your mind.
Somehow, that’s familiar to you. You must’ve read it in a book about vampires somewhere down the years of obsessive research. But you’re too mentally exhausted to dwell on it any further.
Despite how the idea of drinking someone else’s blood disgusted you, you took his cut hand in hours and brought it to your lips, suckling the blood oozing from it at an odd angle. You’re unsure when to stop sucking, feeling more awkward as the minutes pass by.
Eventually, Viktor tugs his hand gently out of your weak grasp. “That should be enough,” he said, examining the cut on his hand. “You should be healed by the time you awake.”
You wipe any excess blood off your face, looking down at your feet to avoid his gaze.
You didn’t know what to say to him. Do you thank him? Apologise for trying to kill him? Do both? You felt conflicted about expressing anything to him.
“…If you want, we can talk once you wake up,” he suggested, likely noticing your discomfort.
You considered his offer, before deciding to nod as a response to him. Though you couldn’t see it, a small smile appeared on his face.
“Alright, rest up then.”
You heard Viktor walk away, closing the door behind him as he leaves your room. It took you a minute before you got up from where you’re sitting, moving to tuck yourself back into the bed, this time without your weapon.
You stared up at the ceiling, quickly drifting off to sleep from how much this took a toll on your body.
You didn’t know what the future held for you now.
But somehow, it felt like you were going to be okay.
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