#Second of all no matter what theme I use even dark one every post is in white and it hurts my fucking eyes

[pigeonneaux]

Another day another moment of me being filled with regrets <- just updated tumblr

[zweigsangel]

fool for you. — rafe cameron.

pairing: bff!rafe cameron x kook!reader. warnings: fluff, use of cocaine, slightly suggestive themes at one point.

a/n: honestly had to much fun writing this, i took inspiration from some posts i saw in here!! hope you enjoy babess

bff!rafe who is your complete opposite. always out at parties, drinking heavily, snorting lines of cocaine without a second thought. while you despised all of it. the first time you tried cocaine you two were in his bedroom. he sat on the edge of the bed, a line of cocaine neatly arranged on the small mirror he always kept in his drawer. he looked up at you with a slight grin. “come on, just this once,” he said, his voice low and coaxing. you watched as he effortlessly snorted a line, his head tilting back as he let out a satisfied sigh. he looked at you again, patting the spot next to him, and you found yourself moving without really thinking. as you sat beside him, he handed you a rolled-up bill, his fingers brushing against yours. your heart raced as you leaned forward, feeling the coolness of the mirror beneath your nose. you hesitated, the white powder glaring back at you. but his presence, the way he made it seem so casual, so easy, nudged you forward. the first snort burned, sending a sharp sting through your nostrils. you coughed, eyes watering, and he laughed softly, his hand rubbing your back in circles. “it gets better,” he whispered, and you weren’t sure if he meant the feeling or the act itself. slowly, the initial discomfort faded, replaced by a rush of adrenaline and a sense of euphoria you had never felt before. as the night wore on, you felt the weight of exhaustion creeping in, but sleep wouldn’t come. your mind raced, replaying the events of the evening, the sensations still buzzing under your skin. you tossed and turned, feeling both restless and weary. sensing your unease, he pulled you closer, wrapping his arm around you. “it’s okay,” he murmured, his voice soft in the darkness. “just try to relax.” he held you tight, his body warm and steady against yours.

bff!rafe who drops everything the moment you need him, even if he’ll never admit that to you. no matter what he’s doing, he’s there for you. when you just need company, you’ll hear him knocking at your door in what seems like no time at all. he brings along your favorite snacks and a playlist he knows you’ll love, ready to spend the evening just hanging out. if something good happens and you can’t wait to share the news, he’s genuinely excited for you. he listens intently, his eyes lighting up as he shares in your happiness. then there are the times when things aren’t going well, like when you’ve had a fight with your boyfriend. even before you finish telling him what happened, he’s already on his way. he doesn’t ask for details unless you want to share. he just listens, offering support and understanding. sometimes, that’s all you need—to know someone is there, completely present in your moment of need.

bff!rafe who judges and insults every boyfriend you’ve had. “you still hang out with that dickhead?” he’d ask. you’d roll your eyes, trying to defend your choices. “rafe, stop it! he’s nice, and he treats me well.” stepping out of the bathroom, you walked into your bedroom and did a little twirl to show off the floral dress you’d chosen for the evening. “how do i look?” you asked, seeking his approval. his expression shifted as he looked at you, his mouth slightly agape. he couldn’t help but think how stunning you looked, and a part of him wished it was for him. “you look great,” he finally managed to say, his voice a little quieter than usual. and clearly, when things would go wrong and that guy would broke up with you, rafe always wanted to say ‘i told you so,’ but he never did. instead, he’d pull you into a comforting hug and console you for hours, wiping away the tears streaming down your face. “he’s a piece of shit,” he’d whisper, “he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” his words, simple yet sincere, always made you feel a little better, reminding you that no matter what, rafe was there to pick up the pieces.

bff!rafe who’s always teased by his friends. they were all at the golf course, and as rafe took a powerful swing, sending the ball soaring across the green, topper looked at him with a grin. “come on, man, it’s time to tell her how you feel,” he said, leaning casually on his club. rafe, focusing on lining up his next shot, barely glanced at topper. “as soon as i find the right moment,” it was a line he’d used so often that it had almost become a part of his routine. kelce let out a chuckle and shook his head. “better find it soon.” they knew how much rafe liked you; he talked about it constantly. he would always say that he would confess his feelings to you soon, but that ‘soon’ never seemed to arrive.

bff!rafe who always invites you over to his house for lunch or dinner because his entire family adores you. you are good friends with sarah, his sister, and you often spend your afternoons together at the pool, going shopping, or talking for hours in her room. even ward, who is usually difficult to please, finds you enjoyable to be around. “she’s really a great girl, rafe. i don’t understand how she can be friends with someone like you,” he joked, nudging rafe with his elbow. rafe sighed, trying to ignore him, but it was no use. “and i don’t understand how she can’t see how in love you are with her!” sarah laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. rafe rolled his eyes,his cheeks flushing slightly. “can you two stop?”

bff!rafe who starts fights at parties the moment someone annoys you. he watches you from a corner, his gaze fixed as you dance, swaying your hips to the music with your friends. the moment he sees a guy get too close, touching you and noticing your irritated expression, he’s quick to act. “is there a problem here?” he asks, and within moments, the guy is on the ground with rafe towering over him, delivering a series of hard punches. when he finally steps back, his hands are stained with blood, “leave her alone.”. “there was no need for that. i could have handled it,” you say softly, after you’ve brought him back to your place and he’s sitting on your bed. you kneel in front of him, carefully cleaning his wounds with a damp towel. “yes, there was. i hate it when these idiots bother you.” as you meet his gaze and offer a gentle smile, he literally melts.

bff!rafe who has a soft spot only for you. he’s known for being the most irritable person around, with a quick temper that seems to flare up over the smallest things. but when he’s with you, it’s like a switch flips. all his usual anger and frustration dissolve into calm. when he’s around you, he seems to be in a world where nothing can touch him. you’re the only one who has this effect on him, making him feel at ease and cared for in a way that no one else does.

bff!rafe who shows his vulnerable side only to you. after a heated argument with his father, the first person he reaches out to is you. “hey, rafe. calm down. come over,” you say gently over the phone. when you open your door, he rushes in, practically collapsing into your arms and clutching you tightly. he stays the entire night, his head resting on your lap while you softly run your fingers through his hair. he cries quietly, his face hidden as he struggles to contain his sobs. you whisper soothingly, “it’s okay, i’m here,” as you comfort him. and just the sound of your voice, the touch of your hands, makes him feel better.

bff!rafe who finds himself intensely aroused, his cock hardening at the sight of you, all dressed up for some occasion. the short, curve-hugging dresses you wear seem to accentuate every contour of your body, while your fragrant, cascading hair frames your face in the most enchanting way. later, alone in his room, he finds himself unable to resist the urge to pleasure himself, fisting himself consumed by thoughts of you—his best friend. he replays the sound of your laughter, the way your doe-eyed gaze meets his, and the touch of your hand on his knee or your warm hand resting on his back. despite knowing it's wrong, he can't resist the powerful urge that overcomes him.

bff!rafe who finally confesses his love for you. you both sat on the grass in your garden, lying side by side and gazing up at the star-filled sky. "it's beautiful," you whispered, a soft smile curving your lips. rafe’s gaze lingered on you before he said, "you’re beautiful." his words made you turn to meet his deep blue eyes, filled with something you hadn’t noticed before. you bit your lower lip and rafe shook his head slightly. "fuck, i like you so much. actually, i’m in love with you. and can’t keep hiding how i feel anymore, because you’re so beautiful, so sweet, and you treat me so well. i feel so good when i’m with you. but i don’t want this to ruin our friendship—" he was interrupted when your soft lips, tasting faintly of cherry chapstick, gently pressed against his. the kiss was tender, filled with all the emotions unspoken until now. rafe’s hand moved to the back of your head, pulling you closer, deepening the kiss as your fingers tangled in his hair. a soft, pleased moan escaped your lips, which parted slightly, letting rafe’s tongue brush against yours. he smiled into the kiss, savoring the sweetness of the moment and the taste of you, wishing it could last forever. you both smiled against each other’s lips, realizing how you were both fools that waited too long for this moment.

[gender-trash]

(i am seriously late in posting about this due to The Problems BUT whatever! its here now!!)

somewhere around late november 2022, i asked my dad "hey are there any out of print technical books you'd like a reprint of for christmas?"

he linked me to a dubious black-and-white pdf of Foundations of Mechanical Accuracy. now, i wound up checking out a copy through link+, and the original edition is a really nicely put together book! the chapters are themed around various types of measurements (length, angle, etc), and they all have these cute little diagrams which the endpapers reuse in a lil repeating pattern... the image captions are done in this really lovely dark red that did not scan for SHIT... tons and tons of diagrams and illustrations and images (both color and b&w)... just, all around, a fucking nice book!! (see also @morrak's post about it here.)

and that made me feel kind of bad about the crappiness of the pdf, which is where the Problems began. i used my phone to take pictures of all the photos and color diagrams in the original and went about replacing them in the pdf, using what turned out to be the world's worst pdf editing software (i also got through replacing all the image captions in chapter 1 of 5 before my dad convinced me to give up). i did NOT finish the pdf editing before christmas 2022 (i was going somewhat off the deep end, because both my housemates were away visiting family and i had zero external structure in my life so it was just me and my cat and this stupid FUCKING pdf wrecking my sleep schedule together); i poked away at it for most of the rest of my time off and then got so goddamn sick of it i put the project away for months. "it'll be a birthday gift instead", i said optimistically (my dad's birthday is in april! it should have been enough time!)

gentle readers, i did not finish the pdf editing by april. mostly because it was such a miserable slog that i put it off until the last possible moment and then tried to make up for it with another death march.

hating both myself and the project again, i decided i was Not going to let myself typeset Anything Else before it was done, and then took a break to bind my immortal (using the renegade publishing typeset! i didn't do any typesetting!!). SURELY, i said, i can finish this in time for christmas 2023.

i'm sure you know where this is going.

in my defense i DID finish the pdf editing by christmas, despite first doing every other possible procrastination project (including a second edition of the little second century warlord book), because by this point my dad had managed to convince me to lower my standards. on the evening of the 22nd i kicked off the print job and said to myself "this will finish printing overnight and then tomorrow i can work on sewing the textblock!"

late on the 23rd, after lots of babysitting and using at least one cartridge of every color ink in my printer, the print job was finally done. (my sweet and lovely cat wants SO BADLY to hunt and stalk the printer while it is printing -- more specifically, the printed pages, i think because they tend to make noise and move and then STOP moving. for this reason, the printer is kept in the craft room, because the cat can be shut out of the craft room and thus prevented from chewing on the pages when i have an all-day book printing job going. unfortunately the craft room was also being pressed into service as a guest room at the time so 80% of the floor space was consumed by an air mattress which i had to repeatedly trip over in order to reach the printer and replace the ink cartridges.)

then i went to my parents' house on the 24th and 25th and apologized to my dad (again) for not having the book finished. but this worked out well because we finished putting together my awesome new book clamp:

(the feet still aren't done being painted so they're just dry-fit on for now but you can still clamp books in it and that's what matters!!)

i came home, sewed the textblock (french link stitch over four linen tapes, with sewn endbands made of variegated embroidery floss over linen cord, and kozo paper glued over the spine)

... and promptly realized i SHOULD HAVE PUT IN MORE OF A GUTTER because some of the text was getting reeeeeeal close to the spine. "it's fine!" i said. "i just have to make sure it lays flat!! what better time than to try out K118 binding, a technique i have literally never done before and which people on the bookbinding discord notoriously have a hard time pulling off first try! i even have tyvek tape for it!"

so it turns out that tyvek tape isn't actually tyvek with glue on it, it's tape FOR attaching pieces of tyvek TO EACH OTHER, which maybe i could have guessed if i'd done even the slightest amount of research or planning. at this point i think it was the 27th and i was still angling to get this thing done by new year's, so no time to order Actual Tyvek.

fortunately, i had ALSO received An Package in the mail with yarn for a totally unrelated knitting project... shipped in a tyvek envelope.

i peeled all the shipping labels and stickers off my tyvek envelope, cut that shit up, and glued it on there.

and THEN it was time for gluing on covers, which i thought was going to be easy because i had actually thought ahead and ordered materials (specifically acid-free museum board), except when i cracked open the box of museum board i decided i Didn't Like It because the surface was too soft and easily dented, so i glued onto it the too-thin board material i'd previously been using (so that the cardboard goes on the outside of the book). this worked super well (the cardboard stuff has a tendency to curl up from the glue moisture, but the museum board doesn't!) and i'll probably use it on other stuff in the future.

i thought the blue bookcloth i used was kind of boring but i showed my dad the available cloth options and he really liked it, so... what do you know? i cut the piece i used on the back cover very slightly too short but it wound up being covered by the leather, so you can barely tell.

and the leather... a scrap just baaaaarely big enough from my bag of leather scraps from discount fabrics... and this the first time i'd ever attempted to put leather on a book... AND YET the only complaint i have is that i didn't manage to put an even amount on the front and back. it's reasonably square and straight!! amazing!!

i am super super happy with how this project came out (especially given the number of problems i encountered) and oh my god check out how much the spine bends

AND, AS A NEW YEAR'S PRESENT, I FINALLY MANAGED TO GIVE IT TO MY DAD

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

This week we begin our farewell to two brilliant shows and welcome a newcomer. Of the shows airing now, all but one are streaming weekly on Gaga and the other is available via fansub.

Takara's Treasure

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses This was the final week for the main story (don’t despair, we get a special episode next week), and the show wrapped up our core romance arc beautifully. At its heart this is a simple story between two boys seeking connection and working up the confidence to pursue what they want without fear. We spent the first half of the show grounded in Taishin’s country mouse in the big city journey, and the second slowly peeling back Takara’s layers until we understood just how mutual their affection is. I was so impressed with the show’s steady, patient approach to revealing this character to us, and I love that through knowing and liking Taishin (perhaps even more than 100%), Takara is getting more comfortable with himself, reaching for what he wants, and having genuine moments of joy. I’m also excited for him to get to know Taishin’s family and feel some of the warmth and support he’s been missing. Looking forward to whatever glimpse of their future the show gives us next week.

Happy of the End

gif by @putterphubase

We knew this one was going to be dark, and hoo boy is it. Content warnings for the first two episodes:

Assault, child abandonment, childhood sexual slavery, domestic abuse, family violence, human trafficking, rape, sexual exploitation

We meet our main characters this week and learn the basics of their backstories (though there are still gaps that I expect will be filled in later on). Both of these men have lived hard lives, and it shows. They are not particularly good people, neither of them responds normally to the situations they find themselves in, their emotional wavelengths are often odd, and there is a recklessness to their behavior that speaks to a kind of ambivalence about survival. They recognize something in each other that draws them together, but even as they share their stories and spend time together, there are barriers between them. This story has a fairly bleak worldview, so I don’t expect it will follow the usual romance beats and I’m not counting on a happy ending. @bengiyo pointed out that the show seems to be narrated from a future perspective after the relationship ends, and @illgiveyouahint said the show feels “gently hopeless” which I think is a rather apt description of its tone.

This show is beautifully shot and feels steady and clear about its subject matter, but its themes are not for everyone. Proceed with caution, and ask for content warnings if you need them—I expect there will be difficult content in every episode. This one is dropping two episodes a week on Gaga, and there is also a fansub ongoing from @isaksbestpillow. Siiri’s subs will likely be more accurate, but I recommend at least background streaming on Gaga to make sure the show gets the official views.

I Hear the Sunspot

gif by @heretherebedork

I have already talked plenty about my current feelings of frustration with this show, so I won’t belabor the point. This week Taichi dropped out of university to go work full time at his new job despite his friends’ protests, we got a long Maya flashback and another instance of her clashing with Taichi, Kohei and Taichi continued to not say anything honest to each other as they said their goodbyes, and Kohei confessed without Taichi processing it yet again. The final episode appears to include a time skip, and then maybe they will have the conversation we’ve been waiting on for six weeks. Fingers crossed the finale makes all of this time spent in stasis feel worth it.

Note: I have to get this up early today due to my travel schedule, and at time of posting episode 7 of Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding was not yet available with English subs. I imagine @isaksbestpillow will post sometime soon and I will share when it goes up and include final thoughts in next week’s round up.

Tagging @bengiyo for the anime update.

[w0rmdahl]

the ring girl — MM

gif ©: magnusedom, mkayoung, ayoedebiris

film: monkey man (2024)

synopsis: tiger's temple never had a ring girl, nor one as straightforward as their first would turn out to be. however, unbeknownst to anyone who'd interacted with her in the workplace, she was no mere ring girl — at least she wouldn't be by the end.

word count: 3.7k

featuring: kid, (oc) ishani, tiger

warnings: (it's monkey man be fr) strong language, misogynistic themes

a/n: pssst! this was originally just an outline for me (similar to 'the beginning' for ilyily) but i wanted to provide backstory b4 i posted anything else for MM! hope you enjoy :)

he remembered the first time he saw her; the black sheep with her head down as she entered the locker room of the arena, a meager woman compared to the grimy crowd of men housed inside. like a lamb in the lions' den — or tiger's temple, perhaps — eyes would begin to collect on the anomaly in the room and people started to further notice the oddities of the situation, including himself as he peeled off the signature monkey mask. without the latex obstructing his view kid could now see the substantial gashes and bruises along her skin, the determination in her eyes as she walked herself right up to his boss, jaw clenching once he'd noticed her.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"

"you're tiger, is that right?"

the greasy-haired man sneered. "and who the fuck are you?"

kid would slam his locker shut from his place across the room and, though he was all ready to go and rest for the night, he'd linger around to keep an eye on tiger whilst he spoke with the willful woman peering up at him through narrowed eyes.

"you need a ring girl." she said simply — matter-of-fact. "i need a job. maybe we could work something out."

tiger's face would screw up into a look of disbelief as he glanced around the audience surrounding to see the commotion, a mixed reaction from the crowd bringing his attention back to her. he'd mirror her folded arms and cocked brow before responding half as professional and twice as patronizing, utterly unsuspecting of the girls' smile that would follow.

"we don't need a ring girl."

the dark-haired woman almost chuckled. "course you do; why do you think ring girls exist?"

tiger now actually took a moment to ponder her query — the first, not the second. the second was obvious. but that was exactly why he paused; this random girl off the street was opting to be ogled at in a bad part of town just for a job. who knows, maybe it could even bring in new audience members — but his wildest ideas more focused on the limitations of her willingness. how far would she be willing to go for money?

a cagy smile would curl the boss's bitten lips before he laughed and swiped a misplaced hair behind his ear. "you..." he trailed off and shook the deceit from his thoughts, "you've got yourself a deal, there. come back tomorrow at 4 and we'll talk details."

she'd offer a mere nod before beginning to turn, halted by tiger's voice booming off the tile flooring once more. "wait! what the fuck is your name?" the woman casted her sharp gaze over her shoulder when the pseudonym left her mouth.

"ishani."

tiger would then be abandoned to stew in his suspicion about her as she exited the same way she came, leaving the room to erupt in conversations left utterly unheard by kid who'd exited out the back door as soon as ishani was out of sight. by the time he laid down with his eyes on the ceiling fan, the occurrences of the day wholly left his mind, replaced with the abrasive memories that kept his eyes open until the sun rose. and then, just like every day, he would return to the ring once more to be beaten until the crowd was happy — the only difference being the new ring girl wearing half as many clothes as when he'd last seen her and a smile that didn't convince the monkey man one bit.

the months that followed ishani's arrival took some adjusting to get used to. matches changed, payment changed, tiger changed. at first it was just getting used to a woman being in the building — especially one dressed the way ring girls did. the other men were like starved dogs in overheard conversations that had him keeping a closer eye on them — to the point that he began noticing each and every snide comment that accused of 'not belonging' and weird notes left from a 'secret admirer' on her mirror. it was all tough to stomach even for him so he couldn't begin to imagine how she felt walking home at night.

but then it was the audience that changed. sure, she was booed here and there at the beginning in favor of the actual fighting they'd come to bet on, but after a while she started gaining traction. there were men who'd come only to cheer when she stepped into the ring with that stupid sign, eagerly waiting by the back door until her shift was over to ask for her number or who to bet on next. there was even an incident where a sold-out show for two unpopular fighters was terminated early due to the absence of life in the crowd when ishani wasn't visible, but the important detail to tiger hadn't been the lack of enthusiasm for the actual fight, it was the attention and money he made without the fight.

the locker room became a slaughterhouse by the time tiger started favoring ishani. talks of how 'desirable' she was turned into how pesky she was, perverted smooches turned into arrogant scoffs, and all the while ishani remained totally uninterested in it all. she kept her head down and did what she had to do, which often entailed skimpier outfits than typical or (objectively worse) humoring the sweaty patrons for 900 rupees an hour. either way, she continuously endured the bitter tasks put forth day by day without ever making a fuss until finally, on an evening as regular as any other, she seemed to snap.

it came after an apparently tough day when she walked into the building with her hair tied in a rat's nest at the top of her head and dark circles under her eyes to emphasize the frown creased besides her nostrils. tiger had begun calling out to her as she swung open the door to her personal storage closet and, without uttering a word, slammed the door shut behind her. the peeved man would then look around to see if anyone else had witnessed this variation in her demeanor, naive to the eyes behind the monkey mask watching his every move under a microscope.

she was sour from that point on, the perpetual scornful knitting of her brows evident to anyone who cared to look from the beginning of her shift until the very end. she'd kept her mouth sewn shut the entire day even when tiger called her over before she could change and grab her stuff to leave the vile workplace — even when he'd asked her to 'have a drink' with a customer for another hour — even when said customer spilt his drink down her front. only when kid noticed the grubby hand on her thigh creeping inward did ishani finally release whatever had been caught on her tongue all day, her own drink now being thrown in his face.

"fuck off you worthless pig! keep your dirty dick in your pants and leave me the fuck alone!"

any and all conversations from lingering individuals in the vicinity would cease entirely upon hearing the howl released from the formerly well-mannered ring girl. caught in the sights of her boss and coworker for two entirely different reasons, ishani shot up from her seat to storm off from the man at the table, called after only by tiger as she made her way toward the locker rooms.

"ishani!"

she didn't even glance back at him, continuing her way out of the central arena to leave the bewildered audience behind as she disappeared into the employee-only section of the building. kid would catch himself rushing through any leftover tasks before he could go home with ishani in the forefront of his mind, holding on to the hope that he could run into her before she'd left and offer some sympathy for her day — only to find the locker room entirely empty when he grabbed his bag. with the release of a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, he'd opt instead to simply keep an eye on her tomorrow and make sure she was alright, stepping out the back door with slumped, aching shoulders.

— and then, as he took in a deep breath of the fresh air on the second step, his eyes would be quicker than his mind to notice the figure in his peripheral. by the time he recognized her, ishani's attention was already on him, sitting slumped against the brick wall with a quirked brow at the lanky man on the eroding staircase.

finally, after months of mutual intrigue and accidental eye contact with the other who seemed to be watching when they weren't looking, kid and ishani would interact for the first time with a comfortable breeze between them and hushed voices under the twinkling stars.

"are you okay?" he'd asked sincerely. the wind brushed her hair from her cheeks as she replied, "yeah. all good." and yet, he could've sworn he'd noticed a glum cadence in her words.

"do you want me to call a taxi?"

"it's alright, but thank you." she produced a small smile identical to the other sad grins presented throughout the day. "just waiting for him to go home before i leave."

him — the man at the bar. kid was already leaning on his heel to turn back inside. "i can tell him to leave." he could almost see the rain clouds looming over her head begin to part as her downturned smile grew brighter, unalloyed while her shoulders straightened out.

"i'd appreciate that."

she spoke with the gratitude obvious in her sparkling eyes, and so, with the simple nod of his head, kid would then head back inside to oblige. he'd even go as far as to exit out the front door for his walk home just to make sure the perverse man didn't turn back around, all the while contemplating his limited interactions with the ring girl. unbeknownst to him, this decision would finally grace ishani with the first real smile she'd experienced in a long while, one that remained imprinted all the way home as if to remind herself how to do it.

the days following this incident would proceed as normal if not for the instances when their eyes caught from across the room once more, a different kind of smile on her lips than the one he’d grown used to. it caught him totally off guard the first time and left him utterly unsure of how to react or respond before she was whisked away by tiger to fulfill another duty in the day. however, by the second honest smile kid had become certain this wasn't just a fluke, mustering the courage and the will to push through the throbbing in his jaw as he replicated her grin. it wasn't nearly as genuine or convincing as ishani's, but it was there, and that's all that really mattered in her eyes.

day by day, little by little, kid and ishani's smile-laced glances would grow friendlier and friendlier despite their lack of communication — even getting to the point where others had begun to notice.

"making after work plans, there, kong?" cobra would snicker as he took a step closer to the beast on the other side of the ring.

"stop talking and hit me."

it wasn't until a little over two weeks after they'd spoken that ishani and the monkey man would be in contact with one another again, finding themselves interacting once more due to a complex work situation;

he was waiting against the wall of tiger’s perpetually locked office door when he’d noticed her enter the locker room — practically barging through the greasy guys with hands balled into fists as she walked right past him and up to tiger's office. she'd knock with heavy knuckles against the chipped oil paint and, after a brief pause, the door would swing open to reveal their hasty-looking employer with an astounded and somewhat irritated expression on his face.

"ishani," tiger hummed with condescension weaved in his tone "i don't suppose this could wait."

she stood her ground with a simple "no," replicating his low octave but without the distain present in her vocal cords. kid swore he could still sense it.

“alright,” their boss sighed and pulled the door open further to let her in. “grab a seat.”

before entering ishani would promptly glance over at the bloody man leaned into the wall beside her, a look of what he could only describe as sympathy creasing her features. this puzzling gesture urged him now to respond the only way he could — the only way they did — and earned her a comforting smile as she started to head inside. the minuscule flash of her grin appeared on her lips for only a second before she then disappeared from his view, completely failing to close the door behind her.

the monkey man wasted only a moment on internal debate before deciding to inch closer to the doorway and listen in, back pressed flat to the wall and eyes forward while he overheard their conversation. she must've left the door open for a reason, right?

"it's like i've told you before,” tiger spoke in an annoyed grumble “that isn't how business works, and that isn't how this is going to work — if it did work like that i'd be the richest person in the world tomorrow, but unfortunately company comes before personnel."

"all i'm asking is for you to stick to your word. i don't expect any favors. just respect."

"respect?" he asks with an exasperated thinness, a scoff caught in his throat. "respect you?"

ishani, on the other hand, is surprisingly calm despite her previous demeanor. “would you break a promise with someone you respect?” tiger finally scoffs.

“what promise, ishani? i never promise anything to anyone — especially not the ring girl with a fake name who prances around for money.”

kid can almost hear the smirk in her voice. “the ring girl whose made you an extra few thousand rupees every night? s’that the one you’re talking about? — because if so, that’s even more of a reason to keep your word.”

there is a beat before tigers response that left the eavesdropping man outside to ponder his own theories of what he was doing during this time. maybe he was pushing his tongue in his cheek to keep his big mouth from saying something he shouldn’t. maybe he was brushing his hair behind his ears as the thought of a cool and collected response. maybe —

“i don’t give hand-outs, ishani.”

on the contrary to his mulling, her answer was immediate. “that is such bullshit, man! you rig every match! how am i asking too much when you make me to stay late every night just to laugh at some sweaty guys' jokes? not to mention the other things you beg me to do. and yet i never complain and i never whine — which is why i asked you last week for my pay today. i need that money today, tiger.”

kids brows would furrow upon hearing this new information. he knew tiger did things under the table, of course, everyone did! most matches were rigged and he did ask ishani to sit with some overzealous customer just about every night, however her emphasis on other things caught his full attention, the implications nearly baring his teeth.

"i can't give you your pay tonight. best i can do is friday."

"friday?" ishani repeats, her volume raised higher than before "it's tuesday, tiger — how am i going to eat tonight? how will i wash my clothes tomorrow? what am i supposed to do until friday?"

"honestly, i don't know, but i believe you'll figure it out. now, i have somewhere to be, so i will see you tomorrow." tiger's annoyance is now outwardly apparent in his voice.

"that's it? i should just go fuck myself then?"

"if that's what you wish to call it, sure; go fuck yourself — now get out of my office."

from around the corner kid can hear a chair screeching as its legs skid against the ground before landing with a thud. then, ishani's swift but heavy footsteps, her face beet red as she exited the office in the same manner as she had arrived. and before kid even has the chance to do or say anything, tiger is peeking his head out to see who else had been looming around to speak with him.

"you come to make demands, too?"

make demands. he noted tiger's verbiage before shaking his head.

"all right, let's get this over with."

kid would almost hobble out the back door for a cigarette after his match when he’d noticed ishani already two steps ahead, mid-drag as she looked over to see who'd stumbled into her alone time. of course it was the monkey man — who else? she exhaled the smoke before speaking.

"i always feel sorry for kong. looks painful."

her voice seemed so much softer when directed at him, though maybe that was just the foreignness of them actually speaking to one another. kid took a moment to respond while restraining a wince from the shift in weight as he worked down the second step. “don't feel sorry, kong's 'the beast.'" ishani shifted to face him when he arrived at the third.

"is he, though? or is that just how he's made out to be?"

kid would have to pause once more in order to work through what she was saying — what the true meaning was hidden in the ambiguity — and more importantly what he was going to say back. he’d watch her take another drag with her eyes fixed on him, finally making it down to the final step before deciding to mirror her intentional vagueness. “does it matter by this point?”

the warm twinkle in her eyes ran cold upon hearing this response, now more of a troubled glint as she pulled her gaze from his silhouette trudging to lean against the brick. from her peripheral she could see him fishing for something in his pockets and her own free hand would subconsciously slip into hers, the other bringing the menthol back to her lips. “i think so…” she’d trail off, and for a moment, that was that.

and then he was the one to suddenly speak, his tone barely over a whisper after a long exhale of billowing smoke. “can i ask you something?”

“sure.”

“why’d you leave the door open?”

a deceitful smirk graced her lips as she took another drag in what he assumed was an act to postpone her answer. “because.” ishani hummed lowly, “i didn’t want you to think i was soft.”

this took him aback entirely. of all hypotheses he had conjured up over the last two hours to explain her varying demeanor, this was not one of them, didn't even make the list. kid's adams apple bobbed while he swallowed the hesitance in his vocal cords, her gaze returning to his just in time to catch this quirk.

"i don't."

the warmth in her eyes would return again after these words left his mouth, and though she would only smile in that sincere manner she had revealed all those days ago, it felt as though she wanted to say something; the corners of her lips twitching as her eyes flicked between his. how awfully he wished to hear it — her thoughts on his rare transparency — but ishani would remain utterly silent with the grin on her face fighting to show teeth. kid would grow timid quickly under the pressure of her gaze and silence, unintentionally prodding him to abruptly blurt out what he'd been poring over since the moment he'd left tiger's office.

“do you know ‘kings?’ the elite club in uptown mumbai?”

ishani’s brows furrowed as she shook her head. “no, i don’t think so.”

“well…” he took a breath in an attempt to navigate how to go about this, each explanation coming off worse and worse. he looked off to the skyline. “all the wealthy businessmen go there to pay for girls to laugh at their shitty jokes. if anyone could do it..."

there was a beat before her response that left kid out in the cold for the few milliseconds it took her to find what to say, the anxiety in his chest rising until an entirely unfamiliar sound eased his swirling worries, light and harmonious in the night chirping with crickets. he'd glance back over at ishani to find her restraining the giggles emitting from her throat with her pointer on her lips, eyes now looking back up at him as she smiled.

"you trying to pimp me out?"

her apparent delight would grow along with her grin as she watched his face flush with the unsure and somewhat nervous chuckles falling from his split lips. "that is what it sounds like, huh?" he'd look away to ash the dwindling cigarette between his trembling fingers "just wanna help, is all. promise."

ishani turned towards him even more now, inadvertently catching his full and undivided attention, though she simply pressed the butt of her dead cigarette into the brick. "see?" she spoke sweetly — knowingly as she took half a step toward the back door with a vivid twinkle in her eye, "kong's not as bad as people make him out to be."

and with that, she turned, filter in hand as she monitored him all the way to the back door. with her fingertips grazing the rusted handle ishani would offer one last salute towards the monkey man before finally heading back inside, leaving him alone against the brick to ponder their interactions once more. the absence of her response had his suspicion snowballing on how she'd taken the offer and, with another puff of tobacco, kid found himself accepting her subtle rejection.

— so imagine his shock the next day when he'd exited the kings' kitchen for a breath of fresh air only to find ishani doing the same.

"hey," she'd smile, a familiar glow in her gaze on the dumbfounded man "funny seeing you here."

[azaracyy]

to the next stage of our adventure! digimon survive week 2024 day 7: post-game / future personal thoughts under the cut - less about the artwork and more about shuuji and lopmon themselves. a long rambling containing major spoilers and heavy topics. will cause whiplash. proceed with caution.

other than the fact this may be boring and long-winded, cw and tw: there will be mentions of self-harm and suicide. if these topics make you uncomfortable, please step back. if you're sure, then alright. i'm aware this is a weird place to ramble about shuuji and lopmon considering the notorious highlight of their story would match the themes of day 5 (villains) and day 6 (dark & loss) better. unfortunately (ironically?) i never planned to feature them for those days, so... pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this, but when i discovered that a good part of the fandom seems to loathe shuuji with utmost passion, even after they claimed to have completed the game, i was confused. the way his death happened and (understanding) the cause made me uncomfortable for a while, but never drove me to the point of hate... once i recovered from the initial shock, what i felt towards him was more pity, then respect (on truthful route). i feel shuuji should have been one of the most appreciated characters in survive. yet it was the opposite that happened. (between you and me though, knowing there was this discourse with the fact digimon survive is a visual novel, i'm not that surprised it turned out this way...) from my point of view, lopmon evolving into wendimon then killing shuuji symbolizes suicide, the act of taking one's own life. it was the climax of shuuji's mental breakdown, leading him to basically self-destruct, causing damage to everyone around him and ultimately himself. lopmon evolved, just like he hoped. but failed to do it like other kemonogami partners (maintaining control of themselves and fending off enemies). the next and final outcome was death, through his own partner actually eating him alive too. it reminds me how when someone thought they have prepared well for something important yet it failed spectacularly, the devastation and frustration would eat them in the same way from inside. and they probably would for one second think, "i'm better off dead". the more i pondered about it, the more it hit home, so of course, the last thing i could do is hate him, when his struggles sound similar to my own - having to rely on consistent achievements to prove your value, to feel you are worth living and not a waste of resources. the part where shuuji went all abusive on lopmon felt like the equivalent of pushing yourself to the extreme to reach your goal, to the point of neglecting your own needs. it's like a student so absorbed in their study, sacrificing food and sleep, until their body eventually snaps and shuts down for good (...this in fact happened to one of the students at my previous workplace. she was in her last year of high school. life was just about to truly start for her when her classmate informed us of her sudden death). even in truthful route where shuuji and lopmon survive that point, things aren't immediately nice and easy for him. you can see that he still has self-doubts, and what i think is impostor's syndrome. he could be making a great contribution to the team and still put himself down for having done "nothing". i have found it interesting that artists and writers tend to be especially fond of shuuji. so perhaps it's not just the matter of one's upbringing - whether you were raised in a harsh, competitive environment and/or with family with (unreasonably) high standards so you can relate more easily to him - but also whether one can see just what every struggle shuuji and lopmon went through symbolizes shuuji's mental state. out of all survive characters, i think shuuji and lopmon pulled off this thing called "surviving" the hardest, no joke. which is why i almost always gravitate to drawing them happy because that's what they deserve :') after all this, what i also would like to say is, it's okay if a character makes you uncomfortable. it's okay if you hate a character. but never, ever bring down the character to people who like them or even consider them their favorite or comfort character. if you must, do it in your own space and only with like-minded people.

[invidiia]

love your writing! general yan chuuya + akutagawa hcs?

❐ - yandere!chuuya and yandere!akutagawa (separate) headcanons

note ; did yall see brian's (akutagawa's eng va) tiktok??? he's finding all the weird shit we've said, speaking for the fandom at least 😭i lowkey feel so bad for him LMAO. but i should say thIs now, if anyone who voices the bsd characters finds these posts i will literally disappear and probs cry myself to sleep for the rest of the month. other note? WHOEVERS MAKING THE SUBMARINE X BSD FICS ON AO3 PLS STOP BC I CANNOT BREATHEEE

prompt ; general yandere headcanons for ryuunosuke akutagawa and chuuya nakahara (both separately)

warnings ; yandere themes, kidnapping, murder, drugging, stalking, obsession, guilt tripping

masterlist - rules - previous

CHUUYA NAKAHARA ;

chuuya is incredibly overprotective. this man has awful trust issues - being betrayed by the people he cared so much for in his past, he just can't risk anything this time.

he's constantly keeping an eye on you, even before he can admit to himself that he loves you. but after he confessed, he understood why he wanted to protect you so much, even if it took time to come to terms with that fact.

if you rejected him, then he tries to tell himself that he would get over it, and that he's been betrayed so much, so why be so upset over simple rejection? you even let him off easy, so there was no reason to be so sad, right? you were still friends.

but chuuya was still upset. his love, no, obsession, didn't go away. he convinced himself it took time to get over something like this, so he took a month doing things to get you off his mind.. but he just couldn't. every single thing reminded you of him, nothing could take you out of his head.

he came to terms with the fact that you just didn't love him, but he didn't care. chuuya knew he was obsessed, and between removing anything that reminds him of you and seeing other people, nothing was working.

so chuuya did what he thought would be best at this point - not to mention, it wasn't his first option, - kidnapping you. being in the port mafia, it especially wasn't difficult to get a hold of some kind of sedative, or any drug for that matter.

obiviously, he didn't want to do this. chuuya could try to convince himself it was for your protection and not his own muse, but it didn't stop the fact you were basically his now. at first. he'll tell himself not to hurt anyone for you, but the moment you're in public, and another man walks up to you and begins to ask for your number, he's already snatching you away without thinking.

chuuya is definitely the type to give you gifts upon gifts, putting money to good use as an apology to you. but even though you tell him the best apology gift would be to let you go, he just gives you something else. you want to go back to your own house? maybe one day, but do you want a dog? they're better company that being by yourself all the time.

he understands you. he knows you want to be free, because he knows what it's like. but chuuya can't just let you go. he's lost so many people, he doesn't want to lose you, too.

RYUUNOSUKE AKUTAGAWA ;

akutagawa will avoid you.

upon meeting, he just thought you were just too bright for him. the man knew he was no good.

he doesn't want to corrupt you, therefore, he stayed away.. but akutagawa found himself following you everywhere. maybe he wanted to protect you of some sort, keeping himself hidden until a weird individual cornered you in an alleyway. thirty seconds later, a dark, black monster thing of some sort that slammed the other into the brick wall next to you. the next thing you saw was a glimpse of a tall man in a coat walking away. you thought it'd be the last of it, but no.

akutagawa spends time stalking you, from picking up objects you dropped after conveniently being there, to putting a knife to the throat of the person who got your coffee order wrong. you told them you were allergic to that specific ingredient, were they TRYING to kill you?

it takes akutagawa so long to even bring himself to talk to you. a simple 'hello' takes hours of looking at himself in the mirror and saying it to make sure he doesn't screw it up and look weird while he actually says it. (same aku, same.)

he'll do anything for you. you could ask him for anything, he'd go get it just because you asked. akutagawa doesn't care if it hurts him, or other people, he craves your love and validation, and reassurance that you don't hate him.

at first, he denies how much he wants you, he tries to tell himself that he needs nobody, especially not you, not someone he needed. but akutagawa could barely run from it, he was so obsessed. he will continue to deny his feelings, but it doesn't stop you.

if you try to run from him, he'll remind you why you're even alive in the first place. if it weren't for him, you would have been dead in an alleyway forever ago. nobody would have saved you that time. who else would treat you the way he does?

[torawro]

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS. ( a. h )

pairing ! ━━ aki hayakawa x fem! reader

cw ! ━━ minors/ageless blogs do not interact. reader is black + thick coded but you don’t have to imagine it that way. basically boyfriend!aki who is very soft for his princess we luv him for that <3 lots of fluff and like…introspective moments? suggestive themes. descriptions of smoking.

word count !  ━━ 3.7k

notes ! ━━ this is an expanded version of this ask & the art used came from this post. ive been wanting to write this for a while, but ive been putting it off bc i wanted to start/work on other things and wasn’t sure if this would even be any good. but the akirot has fermented and here we are <3 i love writing soft love scenarios (i’ve been a sucker for them lately) so this is what this is. i hope y’all enjoy ! REBLOGS ARE HEAVILY APPRECIATED!

AKI HAYAKAWA WAS A. . . PERSONAL MAN. he cherished every little thing that he was blessed with very profoundly, and held them close to his heart, where they would be safe within its hardened, cold exterior. he protects these things— these emotions, these ideas, these people—with all his might, because he knew very well, maybe even better than anyone, that tomorrow was never promised.

he values the things he’s received even on a subconscious level, where he doesn’t actively realize that’s what it is: him caring to such an uncanny extent. it was like that with the first cigarettes he ever received from himeno, it was the same regarding his friendship with denji and power—

and it was ultimately the case with you. especially with you, matter of fact.

this explains why the two of you were pressed up against each other in a yearning embrace. aki had comfortably sandwiched you in between the wall and his firm body, while just a few feet away was the front door, where his devil-like subordinates waited outside.

he was very personal about you and the relationship you shared with him, the trust and the genuine connection that tethered both your hearts and souls to one another. he didn’t even want mere glances from the likes of denji and power to taint this special thing he held so tenderly in his big, calloused hands. their teasing of aki being “so whipped” for you fell on deaf ears the moment his closed your door with his foot and his fingers came in contact with your skin.

it wasn’t exactly a lie, he supposed.

the kiss was drawn out. longing, and wistful. it was slow enough for you to savor hints of every delicacy that clung to the walls of his mouth, and he did the same to you, low sounds of pleasure threatening to escape his throat. you tasted the spearing blanket of peppermint that coated the other flurry of flavors on aki’s lips and tongue, like the stale aroma of the cigarettes he smoked an hour ago, and the tangy cocktail he drank with his meal. and you loved it. 

the dark-haired male sensually swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, effectively licking off most of the lip gloss you wore. gently, he tugged on your bottom lip with his teeth, before letting the pink muscle slither in between the barrier known as your lips; you tasted the gloss that you’ve been wearing all night.

you whined into his mouth when aki tugged at your bottom lip again— a little firmer and more yearning this time—and you followed his movements, perfectly in sync with one another. you melted into his taut chest when one of the hands that held onto your waist slipped past the material of your long, fitted cardigan and found its way under your ribbed tank top. his hands felt like ice against your warm skin and caused you to shudder at his touch. his palms gently squeezed and unclenched at your fleshy sides as a way to ground you back to him.

after what felt like an eternity, the rest of the world around you completely muted, aki finally pulled away from the kiss, his forehead dipped slightly to your height and rested against yours. your breathing patterns became harmonized with each other’s after a few seconds.

this. . . moments like these were precious to aki. it was personal to him, and it was all his.

“fuck. . . . . i’ve been wanting to kiss you like that since the moment we picked you up earlier” he confessed in a breathy voice. it was almost unusual to hear your boyfriend be so forward or use expletives so casually—he was usually such a composed man— but you found his words arousing, and you bit your lip to contain the giggle that wanted to escape. perhaps it was that fruity alcoholic beverage he drank, and the four subsequent glasses he consumed afterwards that made him so. . . so—

another chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth pulled you out of your thoughts. and then another a little farther down. then a third and fourth back on your lips. you couldn’t help the loving smile that morphed onto your face, finding his affections extremely endearing.

letting your fingers ascend from his shoulders to the back of his neck, your french tipped fingers numbly scratched at the back of his head. the dull sensation on his scalp was almost relaxing, but it also made his heartbeat continuously skip several beats. if aki were a cat, he swore he would have purred. 

“hmm, aren’t you too cute?” you cooed teasingly, earning you a faux irritated roll of his eyes from him. “but don’t you have to get up early for work tomorrow? you and others should get going, it’s getting late.”

your boyfriend let his eyes flutter close, inhaled deeply, and threw his hand back to exhale, a soft groan getting caught in the mix.

“yeah, i do . . . . but i’d honestly rather not go back with those two. working with them is one thing but living with them on top of it is something else entirely. they’re complete pigs, it’s disgusting. and having them in my personal space feels like hell every day.”

you chuckled airily at his childlike complaints, while allowing your other hand to shift to cup his face. “i totally understand. it can be hard, but just take it one day at a time, okay? and be patient with them.” you put extra emphasis on the word patience because you knew how aki could get if provoked enough.

the devil hunter groaned again, letting his head hang until it fully rested on your shoulder. he still wasn’t fond of denji and power being placed under his care or being in his space, but he didn’t mind you in his. matter fact, it’s something he’d grow to crave more and more as the days went by. it was unbecoming for a man like him, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care all that much. 

“now go! denji and power are waiting for you,” your voice trailed off and morphed into a more sing-song tone, which aki didn’t find amusing. but still, he sucked it up and stood at his full height with a heavy sigh. 

“fine.” if you squinted hard enough, it almost looked like he was pouting. “gimme a kiss first.” he mumbled with a titled head, trailing his hands up and down your waist.

your chest tightened in glee when his already deep voice grew darker, just a little heavier, that you could feel it’s weight on your waist where his hands rested; you were obsessed with his voice, especially when it was unable to conceal his obvious desire for you. happily obliging to his request, the both of you leaned in for a sweet peck, the noise of your lips softly smacking and then finally separating tugging a rare smile at aki’s lips. just as you were about to pull away, aki’s ample hands immediately grabbed the back of your neck and held it in place so you couldn’t move.

“wait, one more baby” his grumbled again, his tone thicker than before. how could you deny him when he looked at you like that and asked so nicely? so, you gave what he (and you) both wanted.

“mmm just— just one more. this is the last one, i promise.”

it was, in fact, not the last one. he’d say ‘one more’ five more times (and you’d give in every single time) before you had to literally pry him off. as you ushered him towards the door, with his hand on the doorknob, he assured you in a soft voice that he’ll come to see you the following weekend, because this week was supposedly going to be very busy for him.

“i’ll see you soon, alright? stay safe. call me if you need anything.” he planted one final, gentle kiss on your forehead. it was his own personal way of saying ‘i love you’.

maybe he’ll work up the courage to actually say those three weighty words one day. a part of him wanted that day to be sooner rather than later.

“you’re the one who needs to be careful, out here killing devils and shit everyday. but anyway, i’ll see ya later, handsome.”

your subtle compliment made aki’s body stiffen for a moment, and you were able to see his ears redden in real time as he exited your apartment. 

the fond contentment that surrounded the sword-wielding hunter was snatched away from him the moment the door closed behind his heels, and the crisp, cold air embraced his figure. 

denji and power immediately flooded his ears with questions, ones he didn’t care enough to answer. they were too personal for him. as far as he was concerned, they didn’t need to know what went on in his relationship. like second nature, his face returned to its naturally stoic state, and he pulled out a second cigarette and lit it as he walked away from the two devils, who were still pestering him with obscene inquiries.  

in that instance, he once again left his beating heart in human form behind on the ninth story of the apartment complex.

one could assume this might have been why aki hayakawa was so frigid all the time. the warmth of your love, of your being in itself that set fire to the blood in his veins, was pulled away from his grasp, causing his skin to harden and freeze in solitude and indifference. it ultimately contributed to overall icy personality, which seemed to be more steely than usual. each time his thoughts pondered on your tasteful figure —even for a moment— or the memory of your honeyed voice kissed his mind’s ear, he would have to stifle of groan of longing and annoyance, because instead of being in your bed, cradling you in his strong grasp, he had to be out here instead: his suit stained with the blood of some repulsive devil creature, dealing with all these. . . people, he thought in vague disdain, and dreading the paperwork he’d have to fill out for makima. 

the week seemed to have weights on its feet, with the way it dragged on day after day, ever so slowly. it was too slow for aki and work, as well as his eccentric roommates, were driving him up the wall.

aki’s skin grew too cold, it resembled too much like solid ice, where if you came to close in its vicinity, its frost would bite you. he had been without the warmth of his heart for too long. 

this realization would soon lead the dark-haired male to sneak out of his own house in the dead of night, an unfathomable gravitational force deep within his being pulled him to the little slice of heaven in this hell he had to live in everyday: to you. 

aki understood the impulsivity and recklessness of his actions and was well aware of the risks of walking around alone at night, knowing that there could be devils lurking literally anywhere. he didn’t care though; nothing else mattered when you were involved. he also knew that he really should be in bed, resting so he can be ready for another grueling day at his job tomorrow. 

but he just couldn’t seem to drift off into a dreamless slumber that his body so desperately wanted. not when you lingered and danced in the forefront of his subconscious.

it was an ungodly hour, most likely past two a.m., and lucky for aki, you were awake to feel the buzz of your phone in your palms. your closed laptop laid idle on the desk next to your bed, feeling the crushing weight of an assignment you were dreading lifted off your shoulders as soon as you pressed the submit button. now, you were currently going through your ‘watch later’ compilation on youtube, slowly but surely making your way through the list. 

that’s when you saw the notification from your boyfriend drop down from the top of the screen. reflexively, your heartbeat quickened, and your finger twitched as you read his rather straightforward text. 

you up? if you are, come unlock the door for me 

it’s a marvel how he seemed to know that you were awake at this hour. for all he knew, you could have been fast asleep, enjoying your ride to dreamland. 

but you supposed that just proved how attuned your man was to you. it was frightening sometimes, like he knew you better than yourself. 

and it would make sense for someone to be in tune with such an important organ more than anything else because of course, it was the one that gave them life and one wouldn’t be able to effectively survive without it. 

aki’s began to drown in the sea of his own thoughts, he didn’t even realize that the door was already open, and you stood there waiting for him. your soft spoke snapped him out of the daze he was in. you couldn’t stop the faint, cheeky grin that pulled at your facial muscles the longer you stared at your lover. 

if aki leaned close enough and looked hard enough, he might be able to see the hearts in your pupils. something about him coming here in the dead of night— randomly, no less — felt so adolescent. it felt like the two of you were some starstruck lovers in high school that couldn’t stay away from the other for too long. and something about the fact made your body temperature increase. 

you noticed that aki’s hair wasn’t tied up in its usual top-knot style. it cascaded freely in dark waved across his face, acting as a shadowy curtain over his lashes. the onyx stud earring’s he always wore glimmered in the refraction of the singular light that hung over their heads in the hallway. his katana was slung lifelessly across his back on top of the black hoodie he wore. 

aki’s face was mainly expressionless as he stared back at you, and yet, he still managed to look effortlessly beautiful. 

you’d never know that thoughtful stare could prove to be too much for him sometimes. the man found himself quickly tearing his gaze from yours after a few seconds, deciding that your eggshell white painted toes and silver anklet were far more interesting. and they were, because they were so pretty looking. everything about you was so pretty. 

he opened his mouth a little to say something, but then immediately closed it again, swallowing whatever thoughts he was going to share. concern briefly flickered in your brow at the minimal action. “aki? is.... everything okay?” you asked him carefully, knowing that he wasn’t the type to wear his heart on his sleeve or open about anything so easily.

he would need to warm up first to do that. 

aki took several moments to reply, and in the silence, his feet took control of the rest of his body and took a step forward. then another, and then another, until he had your back up against the wall, just like the other night. your breath slightly hitched at the memory, your chests brushing against one another.

“. . . everything’s fine. those two just. . . can be so fucking loud sometimes, even when they’re sleeping. can’t stand it.” his voice was rough and full of complaints, but his hands were gentle, finding their way back home on the flesh of your waist, and used it as leverage to pull your hips against his. you could feel the heat of his crotch on yours/

“one of these days, i’m actually going to kill them in their sleep and dump their bodies on the street.” and there it was again, that dip in volume that made his voice sound more like a sensual rumble in this throat. you started to wonder if he was aware of it or not.

the flicker of his intensifying gaze from your eyes to your lips seemed to be the catalyst in the two of your moving your faces closer together. both of you were so close he could feel the air escaping from your mouth when you let out a chuckle. “so dramatic. so...you came all the way here, because they were snoring too loud?” your eyes were lidded now, teasing him with faux offense embedded in your tone as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

aki all but hummed, not caring enough to reply at the moment, because he now became too busy pressing a much-anticipated kiss on your lips. this time, it was saccharine. it was eager, bordering on desperate. but most of all, it was warm. aki sighed and groaned into your mouth, relishing in the warmth of being here with you, in your house, in your arms, thawing the cold barrier that surrounded his veins. 

as the kiss grew more fervent ━ one of his hands gliding up the valley of your breast to comfortably latch onto your throat, and your hand that was clasp took root in his soft hair, giving it a little tug ━ neither he, nor you, could suppress the shudder that crawled up your spines.

the need to properly breath soon became too overwhelming, and soon enough the both of you pulled away from one other, panting softly into each other’s mouth, him resting his forehead on yours. 

“yeah...” he spoke slowly, trying to remember the question before the two of you kissed; his head was still fuzzy from the sheer euphoria of it all. “they’re....too loud. anyway, let’s go to bed, baby. ‘m tired.”

with one final peck on your lips, he slipped out of your loose grasp and padded his way to your room, with you following after him. you plopped on your bed and got comfortable as you watched your boyfriend maneuver back and forth between your room and bathroom as if he lived here. it felt very...domestic and you had to bite back the grin that wanted to pull at your lips and contain your giddiness.

as you connected your phone to its charger and set it on the nightstand, aki’s taller frame climbed into bed next to you. his clothing was reduced to his boxers and t-shirt, presumably wearing it under the hoodie he arrived in. instinctively, your bodies were pulled towards each other underneath the blankets: your head against the crook of aki’s neck and one hand on his chest, while his lanky, muscled arm was draped across your back, his palms rubbing miscellaneous patterns along your sides and thigh.

“you mind if i smoke a little before we sleep?” he broke the silence that filled your bedroom, remembering to be courteous whenever he came over.

you hummed sleepily, not realizing your own exhaustion as soon as you snuggled up against your boyfriend. “mmm, g‘head, baby. just open the window when you do....don’t want the smell to linger.”

it was amusing to aki  that while gave him permission to get up satisfy his smoker habit, you still you nuzzled yourself against him, holding him close like he was your own personal teddy bear. chuckling softly, he slithered out of your grasp and out of the comfort of your bed to grab the pack of smokes and his lighter that were in his hoodie pocket. 

remembering that you kept an ashtray in one of the drawers━ just for him; his heart pounded at the thought━ he placed it on the nightstand, and like second nature, pulled a pale white cigarette from its container with his teeth. with a few flicks of his black lighter ━one, two, three ━ the orange flame he’d come to be very well acquainted with sprang out from its plastic cage and kissed the end of his cigarette. wispy, white tendrils of smoke escaped from the end of the cigarette and idly floated into the atmosphere. inhaling and exhaling, as if he were breathing regularly, aki rested his back against the headrest of the bed, and blew out the toxic fumes, letting excesses of smoke lazily dribble past his lips. 

the man’s dark, cerulean eyes drowsily shifted from the blank ceiling to your now sleeping form next to him. he took comfort in the way your body gently rose and fell, and the way your facial muscles relaxed into complete bliss, not having a care in the world. 

the veiny hand that wasn’t holding the cigarette came to gently stroke the apple of your cheeks, then shifted so he could stroke your soft lips with the pad of his thumb. even in your sleep, you sensed his touch and leaned into his rugged palm. his chest ached and stomach churned watching you do that and God you were just so cute. so pretty and so soft and all his. every time he saw you, he liked the sound of that more and more.

this moment, it was comparable to a husband and wife sharing a bed. the thought made his cheeks and neck burn, almost causing him to choke on the smoke he was inhaling. aki wished all his days could end like this. he wished every day could begin and end like this, until the end of time. 

after a few more minutes, aki snuffed out the cigarette on the ash tray next to him, got up to brush his teeth and gargle mouthwash for a second time this evening, and climbed into bed with finality. pulling your figure into his once more. his now warm hand glided up and down the canvas of your spine, and both of your legs became entangled with each other.

this particular thing, his relationship with you, was very personal to aki hayakawa, indeed. he cherished it admittedly more than his own job and he wanted to show you, as well as tell you, how much you meant to him everyday for the rest of his life.

that’s probably why he placed one last tender kiss on your forehead before letting slumber take over, and against your skin he mumbled something that had been weighing heavy on his chest and his mind for longer than he realized.

“i... i love you, princess. sweet dreams.”

aki closed his eyes before he realized your own eye that had peeled open at his thick, sleepy voice, suppressing a dreamy smile at his love confession.

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[pandoa]

Hello hello! Pando!!,for you even can I request

Zinnias &Snapdragons for idia?,just a lil theme of him and his s/o after hanging out!

Zinnias ~ “i miss you” “you just saw me, silly” “and? i wanna see you again so come back~”

Snapdragons ~ “this can’t be real…it feels too good to be real. tell me this is all a dream before i start believing”

~idia shroud x gender neutral reader~

AAAA thank you for requesting!! i had so much fun writing this one lol idia is always fun to write for~ hope you like it!

♡player two♡

For the first time in—well—forever, Idia Shroud had found that he did not wish to go home.

There the blue-haired boy stood under the dim lamp posts spread across Night Raven College, silent and still, as he stared at the iridescent glow coming from the moon with the multitude of stars accompanying it in the stratosphere. The sight had solaced him as it always did, and Idia had never failed to let the restful gleam of the moon entrance him all throughout the night. The housewarden then slowly walked the path back to his dorm room at Ignihyde, eager to make it back to the comforting sheets of his light blue bed. He imagined the disorderly mess that he was much too used to—even the thought of organizing the chaos left him with an odd discernment at the unfamiliarity of it all. He imagined the rows and rows of his beloved manga collection, the posters hung up on his walls, various electrical chords entwining his room like the veins of a living being, and, most importantly, the silence of it all. The silence that let him roam free from the taunting gazes of the public; the silence that let him escape.

Idia had always loved the night. Idia had always loved his dorm. 

But staring at the night made him realize he had missed one main thing. You. Because for some strange reason, the moment the two of you bid your goodbyes, the instant you shut off your rather old gaming monitor, the second his two legs had managed to drag themselves out of Ramshackle, stepping further and further away from you, Idia had found that the moon he once adored was simply just a gray piece of matter waiting to mock him with the stars in the sky. That the comforting feeling of home was not complete without you there to fall asleep with him, empty bag of chips laying in your arms and inches away from falling to the ground. That the quietness he had once longed for pierced his ears like a sharp ache in his head every minute he was not surrounded by the frustrated groans or contagious laughter coming from your form each time he had beat you in a riveting game on your console. 

It was weird. 

Sure, you two had been dating for quite a while now—that he knows—however, since when did Idia ever dread alone time in his comfy, cozy, humble dorm room? Ramshackle wasn’t nearly half as up-to-date as Ignihyde had been, so what’s up? 

Idia reluctantly continued walking back to the mirror chambers, crickets hidden in the trees chattering and chirping a midnight song, as he reminisced the time he had spent with you within the dark walls of your dorm’s lounge. His visit to Ramshackle was sudden on your part; an act of playful impulsiveness from Night Raven’s prefect. Crowley, as competent as could be, gifted you a rather out-dated gaming console featuring a copy of Magic Gario Cart—retro and rare among Twisted Wonderland’s gaming community. And knowing your boyfriend’s raging interest in video games of all kinds, you took your phone and immediately called him over to your dorm, as if on instinct. 

The time spent playing games with you then dashed past in what seemed like an instant. Every second with you was a second he wished would never end, but it was still odd nonetheless. He had never been this way before, not to anyone. But then suddenly, with you around him, days spent outside his room weren’t as dreadful anymore. Isolation was a distant memory; anxiousness had faded away.

Idia found himself not wanting to leave just yet. 

“This can’t be real… It feels too good to be real,” Idia muttered as his steps slowed, mind still processing the luck he had struck with you being his romantic partner, “Tell me this is all a dream before I start believing—”

Beep, beep! A small noise peeping out of the blue-haired boy’s pocket then interjected Idia’s roaming thoughts.

“Huh?”

Beep, beep! It rang again.

“H-Hello?” Idia hesitantly said as he stared at the amusing profile picture he had set for you on his phone, “(Y/n)?”

“Come back,” a stern and certain voice came from the other side of his phone, causing the Ignihyde housewarden to halt in concern.

“What?”

An exasperated sigh then escaped your mouth, tone wistful and as-a-matter-of-fact, “I said come back. I miss you.”

“You just saw me, silly.”

“And? I wanna see you again so come back~”

Idia pondered carefully of your request as a joking hand made its way towards his chin, imitating and feigning deep thought, “Fine. But only if you let me be Player One this round.”

“What? No way.”

“Why not?”

“Because Crowley gave the set to me, not you,” you said defending your position on your console, “Therefore, I will always be Player One. Plus, you get to be One when we play at your place; let me have this.”

“But I wanna be Player One.”

“And so do I.”

“Please?” Idia began to lightly beg.

“No.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll let you be Zoshi this time.”

The boy, begrudgingly, caved at your offer, “...Deal.”

“Good,” you grinned into your phone’s speaker, “Now get back here. There’s this level I found that we haven’t tried out yet.”

a/n: i love zoshi from magic gario cart on mimtendo

[randomperson99sworld]

Ruffled Feathers 🪶

~ Part 53 ~

Summary: Julia Morgan, Bobby's niece, has always been a royal thorn in Dean Winchesters ass since the day they met 1 year ago at Bobby's memorial. She wants to be a hunter, he thinks she's a dumb kid playing dress up. Will she always be seen as an unwanted load in Dean's eyes or will he see something more?

Warnings: Age gap, language, sexual themes (used lightly), physical abuse (Not by Dean).

Word Count: 1,010

A/N: This story is almost over! One more chapter left before the bonus chapters! :) stated as always, this story is cross posted on Wattpad. Happy reading! ♥️

The next few days were much of the same—quiet moments filled with unspoken emotions. Dean kept himself busy doing odd jobs around the house, cooking meals, fixing things that didn't really need fixing. Anything to distract himself from the helplessness he felt watching Julia drift through the days like a ghost.

She was trying, he could tell. She'd make small efforts here and there—like joining him for breakfast or helping him fold laundry. But there was a weight to everything she did, like she was moving through quicksand. The spark that used to define her was gone, and Dean couldn't shake the feeling that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pull her out of this dark place.

One afternoon, a week and a half after she came back, Dean sat at the kitchen table, drinking his coffee and reading through a book of lore. He hadn't been able to focus on hunting lately. The visions of Julia's death haunted him, making him hyper-aware of every second that passed. What if it happened again? What if next time, he couldn't stop it?

He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear Julia walk into the kitchen until she spoke.

"Dean?" Her voice was soft, uncertain, like she wasn't sure if she should even be speaking.

Dean snapped his head up, surprised to see her standing there. She was still in her pajamas, her hair a mess, but there was a flicker of something in her eyes—something more than the blank stare she'd had for days.

"Hey," he said, trying to keep his voice light. "What's up?"

Julia hesitated, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. "I... I think I need to get out of here."

Dean blinked, unsure of what she meant. "Out of here, like... the house?"

She nodded, glancing out the window. "I've been cooped up too long. I need air, space. Maybe a drive."

Dean set his coffee cup down, watching her carefully. "You sure? I don't want you pushing yourself if you're not ready."

"I know," she replied, her voice wavering slightly. "But I need to try. I can't keep... I can't keep sitting here, feeling like this."

Dean studied her for a moment, then nodded. "Alright. We'll go for a drive."

They didn't say much as they got into the car. Dean started the engine, the familiar rumble of the Impala filling the silence between them. Julia stared out the window, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the dashboard. Dean couldn't help but steal glances at her, worried but hopeful that this was a step forward.

He wasn't sure where they were going, just drove aimlessly through the winding roads outside of town, letting the open sky and the hum of the engine fill the quiet. They passed fields and forests, the world slipping by in a blur of green and gold. It felt peaceful, almost normal, like things could be okay again.

After a while, Julia finally spoke.

"You ever think about... just stopping?" she asked quietly, her voice barely above the sound of the engine.

Dean frowned, glancing over at her. "Stopping what?"

"Hunting. All of it. Just... leaving it behind."

Dean's grip tightened on the steering wheel. He'd thought about it before—more times than he could count—but the idea never stuck. "Yeah, I've thought about it. But the thing is... it doesn't let go of you. Even if you walk away, the monsters are still out there. And if we're not hunting them... who is?"

Julia nodded slowly, her eyes still on the horizon. "I don't know if I can keep doing it."

Dean's heart sank. He knew this had been coming, that after everything she'd been through, she might not want to go back to the life. He couldn't blame her—hell, he wasn't even sure how he'd held on for so long. But hearing her say it out loud made it real.

"You don't have to," he said, his voice low but steady. "You've been through enough, Julia. No one's asking you to keep doing this if you don't want to."

She was quiet for a long time, the tension between them thick, before she finally spoke again. "But what if I walk away, and something happens to you?"

Dean's heart clenched. He'd never realized just how much that thought had been weighing on her. "I'll be fine," he said, trying to sound reassuring. "You don't have to worry about me."

But Julia shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. "I do worry. I can't just sit by and let you go out there and risk your life while I'm... safe. I can't do it, Dean."

Dean pulled the car to the side of the road, putting it in park as he turned to face her. "Julia..."

"I've already lost you once," she whispered, her voice breaking. "And now... now that I'm back, I can't lose you again. But I don't know how to keep going. I don't know how to keep doing this."

Dean reached out, taking her hand in his, squeezing it gently. "We'll figure it out. Together. You don't have to make any decisions right now. We'll take it one day at a time, okay?"

Julia nodded, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "I just... I don't know how to keep going."

Dean sighed, pulling her into his arms, holding her close. "You're not alone in this. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She buried her face in his shoulder, her body trembling as she let out a quiet sob. Dean held her tighter, wishing he could take her pain away, wishing he could fix everything. But all he could do was be there, and he wasn't going to let go.

They stayed like that for a while, parked on the side of a quiet road, holding each other in the fading light of the afternoon, both of them trying to figure out how to keep going in a world that felt so broken.

[toon-rp-finder]

"Alright, let's do this one more time! 🕸️💞"

⭐ Hey there! F 18 here looking for other 18+ Roleplayers to indulge on some Across the Spiderverse OCxCC fun! I'm looking for FxM ships on my side. Definitely double friendly although I am not used to doing it in this fandom.

[What I am looking for]

• I am searching for someone that could play both Pavitr and Hobie for me, to be paired with two different OCs. I don't mind if you have experience musing them already or if you want to try it out for the first time, or even if you think your interpretations are a little OOC. Throw them my way! There is no shame here.

• I am looking for someone that could be at least literate, but I don't care about reply consistency at all. You can reply once or twice a day? Nice! Once a week? No bother! Whatever fits your schedule, I can adapt to it.

• By all means feel free to share any headcanons you might have and please talk OOC with me! Plotting things together and going crazy about it is one of my favorite parts.

• Although I don't expect NSFW to be a major part of the plot, I am by no means opposed to the idea. I just ask for a bit of development before we dwell on the topic if we decide to add it!

• Wether we decide to age the characters up or keep them the same age is up to you. Again, I can adapt to anything.

• Dark themes are more than welcome to be explored, I just ask that you tell me what you'd like to add beforehand so we can discuss how to better implement it in the plot! The chances of me saying no to something are very slim.

• Like I said, I am double friendly, although I have very little experience with the characters in this fandom. I can try to RP pretty much anyone for you, what type of pairing (MxF, MxM, FxF, etc) you want doesn't matter to me! I'm down to anything.

• I RP strictly on Discord, as I believe it to be more organized.

[About my OCs]

• First one is her Earth's spider person! A singer and Teen idol in ascension if you will, but it is quite hard to manage identities, just like it is for every other Spider person out there. She's latina, inspired by the Hyperpop genre when it comes to singing. She was bitten by a jumping spider.

• the second OC is the first one's Venom. Japanese, inspired by the Visual Kei subculture, be it fashion, makeup, music, etc. An alternate version of her was Hobie's Gwen Stacy, but that version of her is dead by now. She was initially a villain, but now is considered an anti-hero and my other OC's friend.

________________________

This is all! I think this is a long shot, but if anyone out there feels interested in the slightest then please interact with this post and I will come running! ^^

😉👍

[justatalkingface]

Hey 👋 I've seen your page and you're really indepth and accurate about bnha, really great analysis. Can I ask you where you think bnha is going as a series? Or like, what messages are trying to be pushed and if they're right or not? Because where we are now it's really hard to tell.

The heroes haven't really learned much about how things got this way, and even when they're told how the villains got where they are, the heroes (and the hero kids) don't really commit to (even attempt to) changing anything to make sure things don't wind up right back where the story is now.

Speaking specifically on the mutant plot you wrote that great critique on, shouji's answer of basically 'shine so bright it makes the racists feel bad' did not seem like a good sign for the future. can I ask how you feel about that part too?

An ask! My first ask! I didn't think I'd ever get an ask, actually. And! And it's a juicy one! Plenty to dig my teeth into here....

Where it's going is simple, yet complicated in a weird way. Where we are, now, Hori has finally decided on a direction and seems firmly attached to it, after zig zagging in messages and themes throughout the entire storyline, so in that sense, the end goal is clear. The problem is he took so long to make up his mind on what even wants that he left himself a giant pile of plot threads to deal with, and I am not only positive he can't resolve them all well, I'm not even sure he can even end them all, they're all so many and all over the place, and so much of it is deeper and complex that the story they're actually in.

This is the reason you're confused, by the way; all the themes, back stories and plot threads that Hori has just... decided to not use, are still there, he just left them hanging. Like Corrupt Heroes, when all the heroes we see are good, Endeavour, the lone asshole, is now defacto redeemed, and even the originally somewhat dubious Mt Lady, who was money obsessed, is fully on the straight and narrow. Everyone talks about 'corrupt heroes' (and acts like Stain has actual depth when what we have is flat out a two dimensional character) throughout the story but we never see them, because Hori realized he didn't actually want to get into how dark that would be. It's why Hawk was killed and replaced by New Hawks, and Deku (like my earlier post, I'm going to be putting a firm line between 'Izuku', and 'Deku', where Deku is a hollowed out version of Izuku, with all his defining traits scraped away to make room for power and The Plot, and Izuku is an actual human being with depth that we haven't seen a long time now) doesn't even blink at Lady Nagant's entire everything, before he revealed she was Good The Whole Time as he defeated her: because Hori abruptly changed directions and all the story build up before that point was suddenly retconned into nonexistence.

The direction Hori seems to have chosen, barring a last second 180, is what I call a 'True Shonen'; that is to say, he has committed fully to the themes of Friendship and Being A Good Person overcoming all obstacles, no matter how ludicrous the odds against it. The ending, then, will be Deku, maybe with some help, killing AFO and Saving The Day, and then Everything Is Better, probably with a timeskip to years later to show how much better everything has become. Now, in theory, that's not a bad thing. In practice, MHA is one of the most theoretically political shonen mangas I've ever seen, and until recently Hori has been trying to thread the line between a normal shonen plotline and the deep ideas and concepts he's introduced, and done that terribly, so there's a lot things that are going to happen that are going to be... awkward, to say the least.

In a True Shonen, for example, the Hero always wins. Not only that, when they reach the full potential of their powers at endgames like this? They get everything they want. Every goal is achieved, with only one or two token sacrifices, and some victories being symbolic or incomplete, and at worst the cost is just themselves. One of the places we're going to run into problems, though, is that Deku has committed to saving Shigaraki. And that is going to happen, Shigaraki will be saved, one way or another.

The problem is Shigaraki himself. Shigaraki was, at the point right before AFO stepped in to conveniently make him helpless and ripe for Deku to vibe on saving, utterly insane in a way I don't know the technical words to describe, but his goal is easy to name: omnicide.

Shigaraki was a fucked up man child that had never had a life, and didn't know how to be a person, until he went through the trials his mentor arranged for him to grow. When he finished and, for lack of a better word self actualized, he gained a goal that was all his for the first time.

That goal was to kill every living creature on the planet, destroy everything on the planet, until there was nothing left. Shigaraki's ideal endgame is a barren world of dust and ash, save for maybe five cities where Japan used to be that his friends live in. These cities have all their stuff, cute prey for Toga to hunt, and possibly some slaves to do things for them (though we're ignoring how that'd destroy all ability to make things like they'd want on a reasonable level, like clothes and food, but whatever), and that's about the only feature left on this bleak, empty world of grey.

Shigaraki has killed, at least, hundreds of people, and is at least indirectly involved in the deaths of thousands more. He has no idea how to live anything near to a normal life. Every one of his skills revolve around killing, or video games.

That is what Deku wants to save, because in the set up we're in, Shigaraki isn't the enemy anymore. He's the rival character, and he just happens to be possessed by the actual big bad. Picture Naruto trying to save Sasuke, if Sasuke was fully possessed by Orochimaru; that's the kind of energy that's happening here. Except, you know, it isn't. They're foils in many ways, but the set up for this kind of situation has never been a thing. That's where the 'kid' in Shigaraki came from, to explain this and skip over years of connections and build up that are sorely lacking to explain why Deku would want to save him.

Not even mentioning what the 'saving' would look like: maybe Shigaraki will go Darth Vader on AFO and mutual kill him, redeeming himself in the process. Maybe Deku will, and I'm not screwing with you, pull the fucking kid out of him, and that kid will just be innocent of Shigaraki's sins. Maybe it'll be like the last chapter of Naruto, where infamous traitor Orochimaru, famed for his human experimentation on orphans, and the ex-leader and founder of a hostile military state, is somehow in charge of the orphanage, and in the same way Shigaraki will just be magically reintegrated back into society somehow. Who knows?

This? This is just one problem with the end we're going towards, and there's plenty more beyond that. Dabi, for example, needs to be saved as well, to resolve Shoto's Endeavor's character arc. He can't just die, he can't just be locked in jail forever, he needs to come to some sort of peace with his family; the story will not end any other way. In it's own way, though, this is almost worse than the Kidaraki thing, since while Shigaraki was basiclly thrown into villainy, without any context on how not to do that, Dabi went willingly to his damnation, but it doesn't matter because it will happen.

So yeah, where we're going is easy. The ride there, though? Woo boy, that's going to be fun.

On the origins of villains and the complete refusal to deal with their causes? Yeah, that's another one of those big threads left to hang: MHA is a theoretically 'real' world, just with super powers in it, and that means it's complicated, and there's politics, and things don't work out for everyone. All of that? Yeah, that's a bunch of stuff Hori just... started ignoring a while ago, and at this point, i would bet actual money he never will really focus on again. Oh, Deku might make some lip service to it at a climatic moment with Shigaraki, and there's probably going to be a time skip with the problems 'solved' (and yet there'll be villains for new/old heroes to face dramatically anyways), but that's it. To realistically deal with the causes of villainy would require a lot of work on things like poverty, mental health, racism in general, and the insane amount of bystander syndrome in the setting, all of which are never happening beyond a surface level take.

Although, now that I mentioned it... man, Hori seems to hate civilians, doesn't he? I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just wanted to talk about that briefly, but the general public is always wrong in MHA, aren't they? Or, really just about anyone who isn't a hero or a villain is both useless and stupid. He uses 'the civilians' exclusively as props to push his message, usually by a hero explaining why what they're saying is dumb and bad, or as scapegoats to try and push the blame on, and it's just kinda weird isn't it?

And oh, the mutant plot. Oh, that response. Anon, you may not know this, but I loathe every part of that, and I would love to tell you why.

Let me sum up briefly his argument and explain why each part is wrong:

We start off with 'Don't be upset and act out about the discrimination you face, or your children will be next.' Like, I'm paraphrasing here, obviously, and equally obviously I'm slanting it negatively. Still, though the way I put it makes it sound like a threat, and maybe in some undertones it is, honestly the main reason this is shit is the fact that they're here means their children are being discriminated against, already. They aren't going to be in a giant mob following a villain, who is famously part of an organization that has destroyed several cities and killed who the fuck knows how many people, against law enforcement and the super law enforcement, unless they really, really think that this is their only way out. That, in the entire setting, with normal police, and the hero system that is loudly broadcasting that they will save you, the only person who is on their side, the only person who can possibly make change happen for them, is Spinner. These are people so trapped and cornered that they're trying to chew their metaphorical arms off to escape, and Shoji is saying there will be an 'escalation' of their situation that has to be a fact of life for them already.

This, somehow, along with city mutants (who according to their own words just a chapter or two ago are de facto living a different life than them and don't understand what it's like to be a country mutant) joining hands with normal humans, is enough to stop them, because.... they get to watch the people they know have it better than them demonstrate their lack of trauma?

Seriously, let me stop here a second. Let's ignore, for a minute, the sheer layers of stupid here, and take this as written: These people are desperate, and feel so abandoned by society that the only person they think is on their side is a villain. They follow him in siege on a hospital against a backdrop of heroes and police. Let's further pretend that this was, some the fuck how, a good argument. Would that even stop them? They're stuck now; they've come this far, in a something far beyond a riot, lead by a defacto enemy of the State. Just stopping it like this and leaving isn't going to make things go back to normal, it's not going to make them better, it's going to screw them over. The second they did this they were committed, because shonen logic aside, do you think law enforcement is going to forget this? Forgive this? Unless AFO wins, they haven't put their cause back by three years, they've fucked up by decades; every mutant is going to be viewed as a villain just hiding how sinister they are. The very act of doing this is tying them, ride or die, with AFO and the League, and burned the bridges behind them. They can't go back now.

Moving on, Shoji then says that, 'the reason you all gathered here, in a small army, isn't wrong, and the fact that you were able to operate beyond the level of a thoughtless animal and stop when I told you too makes it seem to me you were all shining like the fucking Luminescent Baby'. I shit you not, he compliments them on the fact they 'kept thinking'. I don't care what translation ends up official, I can't see any way anything that vein isn't insulting bullshit with the subtext of, 'The fact that you listened to me is why I think you kept thinking, and if you ignored me, you wouldn't be thinking'. Quite a fucking high horse you're on there, Shoji. Oh, and a token black hero then apologizes for being ignorant to their plight, which is just a special touch on top of everything else.

And now for the good part: "Let's use the fact that you're all Luminescent Babies to change the people hurting us! They'll look in awe of how you glow and be so embarrassed that they'll become better people out of shame!"

I'm going to dial back the snark here because this is the meat of the argument, along with the actual question asked to me (lol), and I want to seriously address how bad this is. What this argument is saying, basiclly, is to be perfect, take the high road, and you'll shame your abusers into no longer abusing you, into no longer being racist. In general, this kind of thing, a disadvantaged minority having to be better than their peers for approval, isn't new; this is old as fuck. What this does, all this does, is allow the person in question to keep their job against all the people who hate them and want them to stop getting above themselves. That doesn't solve anything, that is a step: the true change that they're talking about is long, and hard, and complicated. In fact, I can say in total confidence that historically, it is proven that doing this has not, in fact, magically stopped racism or sexism from being things that exist.

Seriously, Hori, what the fuck.

So, yeah, this is pure shit, basiclly. If this was actually how the world proceeded, off this logic, nothing would get better, but again, that logic isn't going to matter with how the story is going; things will be 'better' regardless of what the heroes actually do or don't do to fix the problem.

And... I think that's everything you asked, Anon. Thanks for the ask!

[therese-lokidottir]

Reaction to Watching The Incredible Hulk Returns

Just FYI the the Hulk 70s series changed Bruce's name is "David Banner" for reason so I will be referring to the character as such

Bill Bixby is crazy likable as Banner.

David Banner is really bad at aliases in this Movie. He uses the last name "Bannion" and doesn't even bother coming up with a fake first name. He's been on the run and everyone thinks he's dead. He's been doing this for ten years and apparently just forget how to go under cover.

What is up with this science research facility, that David Banner has been working for. Apparently they have done no background checks.

Donald Blake is in this movie and while I will say I think it is kind of an interesting idea to have him be a former student of I don't understand the thought process behind completely changing the premise of him transforming into Thor to him summoning.

Donald Blake somehow tracked down Banner, a man presumed dead for like a decade now because he wanted to ask Banner for help because he can summon a Norse God. David is an M.D. Ph.D I don't know how Donald thought Banner was going to help him with this.

The moment Thor is summoned he immediately starts breaking things, I guess because he thinks they are drinks inside of them. Its weird.

Ten seconds after being around Thor Banner becomes the Hulk. Apparently he managed to keep control for Two years until Thor started smashing up the research lap Banner was in maker Donald Blake responsible for everything that goes wrong in this movie and leading Banner to have to destroy all his work he was using to help find a permit cure for himself.

Donald blames himself for what happened. Banner also blames him to Donald's shock.

Bill Bixby is incredibly likable as David Banner

Donald Blake just comes in to help clean up the mess and apparently scientific lap does not do background checks because even though it was earlier he hasn't been practicing medicine Donald is allowed to just walk around freely even if no one knows who he is.

Thor when not summoned apparently is in a dark limbo void dimension where he is aware but can't do anything except wait to be summoned. Odin banished Thor there because he was arrogant. Proving once again no matter what the version Odin is the worst father

There's no reason Thor can't always be on earth which unintentional makes Donald kind of the worst.

You know what this is a likable enough Thor. He's an idiot but he's still better than post-Ragnarok Thor.

There a montage at a bar that goes on to long.

This line...?

On second thought maybe there is a good reason not to have Thor out all the time

Every single fight is in slow motion and it's hilarious

During the climax Donald almost doesn't want to bring Thor out because he afraid of the damage he might do and then it's Donald who ends up just shooting someone

I understand why David Banner feels he has to leave again, but really there's no reason not to give a proper good bye to his live in girlfriend. You don't always have to be so dramatic, David!

That Lonely man piano theme is honestly amazing.

It's really corny and dumb, but if I'm being honest I really recommend it. Especially if you want to engage in something Marvel but are sick of the MCU's nonsense. It's fun bad bad instead of aggravating bad.

[unendingwanderlust]

I want to know everything about Laergliriel, I'm curious, also loved your thranduil fic it's so beautiful 🥺💗

Thank you so much! 💚💚💚 I'm always elated when someone shows interest in my OCs... and especially Laergliriel. I probably couldn't fit *everything* about her in one post (she's lived a long life, after all), but I'll put the basics under the cut.

Most of this information is (or will be) further fleshed out in my fic Where The Heart Is, where I explore home as a theme through her perspective, or in future fics. She also directly appears in any work tagged with “Thranduil's Wife” in my A World of our Own series.

CW: slavery, mental illness

FIRST AGE

With Angband as her birthplace, Laergliriel is one of the elves Morgoth enslaved during the Years of the Trees. Her parents were captive wood-elves from the Rhovanion area (also known as Mirkwood or the Woodland Realm in later years). Thralls can't have names, as that would imply that they’re people deserving of free will and rights, and a revolt is the last thing any dark lord wants. Instead, she has a number as identification, #70075, which is tattooed on her bicep.

She's also put under a powerful subjugation spell not long after her birth. That spell makes her obey every order given by her masters until it’s reversed, and it also leaves very obvious scars all over her body. To someone who doesn't practice dark sorcery, these markings appear as random Tengwar letters. After escaping Angband, she keeps these scars covered by wearing high necklines and gloves. After all, in First Age Beleriand it’s much more socially acceptable to have an unusual fashion sense than to be an escaped thrall (therefore, a potential spy).

She doesn't have a name until after her escape from Angband. Laergliriel means "daughter of the summer's song". She also has a (secret) Quenya name: Aiwelindë, which means "little songbird". Maglor came up with both of them, and he's practically the only one who ever calls her by her Quenya name. (There may or may not be a fic about how she got her names in my drafts folder.)

From a young age, Laergliriel proves to be talented at both armed combat and sorcery. Her training in Angband focuses on the latter, and she learns how to use forbidden magic under Sauron’s tutelage. After her escape, she focuses on fighting, but she still can’t resist casting the occasional spell or two… often with disastrous consequences. Such sorcery is unnatural for elves to use, after all, and just because they can doesn’t mean that they should.

It's in Angband that Laergliriel meets Maedhros, whom she befriends, and they remain close until the end of his life. Despite that, she never participates in any of the kinslayings. Instead, she's more focused on fighting Morgoth, their common enemy. She’d rather never have to kill another elf unless in self-defense.

Even in the First Age, there’s always time for a little romance. Laergliriel develops a relationship with Maglor pretty early on, but things obviously get complicated down the line. Despite the best intentions of everyone involved, the relationship ends. This incident leads to Laergliriel becoming very cynical about matters of the heart. After all, if you can love someone with your entire heart and spirit and it's still not enough to make things work, then what's the damn point?

She meets Elrond and Elros when Maglor invites her to move in with him in Amon Ereb. Being one of the very few adults around who didn’t participate in the destruction of their home, she soon becomes a safe person for the boys, who end up adopting her because, according to them, she was taking too long to adopt them herself. After the twins grow up and everyone leaves Amon Ereb, the three of them exchange letters until only Elrond remains.

SECOND AGE

After the sinking of Beleriand and the disappearance of Maedhros and Maglor (she refuses to believe they’re dead just yet despite Elros’s insistence that they must be and Elrond choosing a more agnostic perspective), Laergliriel wanders until she eventually reaches Far Harad. It ends up becoming one of her favorite places in the world.

She gets to see a good majority of the region while working as a guard, escorting caravans through the treacherous desert. Eventually, she settles in Bozisha-Dar, the biggest city in Far Harad, and establishes herself as an artist (but not before trying almost every job on the market first, as the bills need to get paid somehow).

Living among mortals is difficult when you’re an elf, however. They grow old and die, and there’s much heartbreak to be had in that. Elrond’s long campaign to get her to move closer so that he can at least see her every now and then finally bears fruit, and Laergliriel eventually settles in the Woodland Realm.

Miraculously, her parents’ home is still intact, and her maternal grandmother is alive. Laergliriel turns the room that was meant to be her nursery into an art studio. Otherwise, she’d never even set foot in there, and she assumes her parents wouldn’t want that.

That’s when Laergliriel meets Thranduil, and the two of them become close friends pretty quickly. Over the centuries, their relationship becomes extremely emotionally intimate, and feelings develop on both sides.

Being the most oblivious person in the universe, Laergliriel just dismisses it as one-sided pining and gaslights herself into believing that Thranduil would never look at her in such a way. After all, she isn't a royal, she's way too old for him, and he'd certainly be pissed if he ever found out that she used to be in love with one of the people responsible for destroying his childhood home. Not to mention that, at this point, she’s working as his personal guard, so any romantic relationship between them would be really inappropriate.

THIRD AGE

After the War of the Last Alliance, Thranduil becomes the Elvenking. It’s a given that he’s going to marry soon, as he’s put it off long enough already. Laergliriel decides that she's going to move back to Bozisha-Dar because, if she stays, there’s only going to be heartbreak for her. Besides, there’s been some rumors that Sauron’s Haradrim followers are still active even though he’s been defeated. Someone must stop them.

However, Thranduil confessing that he's been in love with her all along and asking her to marry him is what keeps Laergliriel from following through. They go from friends to spouses overnight, and even though it takes some time to adjust to their new relationship (as well as the metaphysical aspects of elven marriage), they're both very happy with it. Really, they only regret not having done this sooner.

Eventually, they welcome Legolas into the world. He looks a lot like Thranduil, but he takes after Laergliriel in terms of personality. They’re really excited to watch him grow up, and they plan to expand the family as soon as he’s more independent. They want a big, happy family, but at the same time they don’t want to miss any of their babies’ milestones. After all, they grow up so fast!

Unfortunately, Thranduil’s wellbeing is intimately connected to the wellbeing of his forest. As the Shadow infects Greenwood the Great, he falls gravely ill, and each time is worse than the last. Both the growing sickness of the forest and Thranduil’s multiple brushes with death affect Laergliriel a lot. Her mental health suffers, and she makes some very questionable decisions that are effective in preventing the complete breakdown of her kingdom. But at what cost?

She dies while Legolas is very young after slaying a Balrog in Gundabad. What's remarkable about that is that Laergliriel doesn't pass immediately, as is the case with other Balrog-slayers. In fact, she survives long enough to return to the Woodland Realm after the duel, though she is gravely injured and ends up passing not long after. Most sing the praises of the chief royal healer for this miracle. A small minority, however, suspects that this is no miracle at all, and that something shady’s going on with the Elvenqueen’s death…

And there we have it! An overview of Laergliriel, as concise and spoiler-free as I could manage.

I always welcome asks about my OCs, worldbuilding, or fics, so feel free to drop by my ask box anytime!

[i-am-bella-donna]

They Took the Stars Chapter 5: They Don’t Care About You

Whumptober 2023 Day 2: “They Don’t Care About You.”

AO3 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Story Summary:

No one could see the stars anymore. In the metropolis of the Boiling Isles, smoke and smog filled the skies. Acid rain fell to the ground. Towering buildings and neon lights went as far as the eye could see. But every light has a shadow, and the shadows of the Emperor and his Council were very dark indeed…. Luz Noceda used to love her homeland, but she had long-since realized that people were not always what they seemed, and Emperor Belos was no exception. Between herself, Eda, and Raine, surely they would be able to do some good for the city. Right?

Pairings: Romantic Raeda, Familial Luz x Eda

Word Count: 1,237

CONTENT WARNINGS: ARGUING

A/N: Chapter Theme Song: Devil Doesn’t Bargain by Alec Benjamin

Holy shit. This was supposed to be five hundred words.

Anyway, I had some fun with this chapter. I was also going to post Chapter 6 tonight, but I no longer trust myself to stay awake long enough.

~~~

“Why do you even bother?”

Eda set her elbows on the table and clasped her hands together, interlacing her fingers. She and her sister were seated in the back corner of a nondescript Middle Level restaurant—not exactly a place where anyone would expect to find a government leader and the most wanted criminal in the city having a clandestine lunch meeting. Of course, Eda herself was careful enough to wear one of her stolen ID bracelets—a wristband embedded with a fake Identity chip, meant to hide the lack of such a chip beneath her own skin. Not that anyone who recognized Lilith—which was most people—would question her guests. Eda still half-expected their waiter to run away screaming.

Her nonalcoholic Apple Blood was sweet and crispy on her tongue as she continued, pointedly ignoring the glare Lilith was throwing her way. “You work all day. You work all night. Fine. You’re a workaholic. You want a miserable and unhealthy lifestyle? You do you.” She tapped a finger on the table and narrowed her eyes. “But having eyebags bigger than the city chasms is where I draw the line. If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume our monthly lunches were the longest breaks you took!”

For a split second, Lilith broke eye contact. The brief shame that flitted across her face gave Eda all the answers she needed.

“Seriously, Lily?”

“How is your ward—you daughter?” Lilith asked instead, her tone neutral. “And that little dog of yours?”

Eda rolled her eyes but reluctantly accepted the change of topic. “Eh. You know the brats.” She paused briefly and reconsidered. “Actually—I guess not. You’ve only met Luz…four times? In the four years she’s been living with me?” That sounded about right. “Anyway, she’s a good kid. Follows her own heart, stands up for her beliefs and her friends, gets into a whole ton of shit you would disapprove of.” Eda snorted. “You know. Fun stuff. And King is still a little monster—nothing new there.”

“And that charming AI of yours?”

“Yeah, no—I want it on record that your weird friendship with Hooty scares me.” Eda shivered. She was not sure whether to be more concerned that her homemade AI was weirdly close with Lilith, or that Lilith had no friends outside of said AI. Both possibilities were deeply upsetting on a number of levels.

But at least Lilith had some semblance of joy in her otherwise sad life. Eda could put up with their friendship for her sake.

Luckily, their waiter arrived and delivered their food as quickly as possible before scurrying away, and Eda laughed at his retreating form. It never ceased to amaze her how quickly the sight of Lilith could send grown-ass adults running.

“So…” she said as soon as he was out of earshot. “How’s work?”

Right on cue, Lilith groaned. “Eda—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know our deal.” She cut her off with the dismissive wave of her hand. “You don’t have to give me the ‘confidentiality matters’ speech again. I just wanna hear the gossip!” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “What’s the latest drama?”

After a brief pause of consideration, Lilith shrugged and relaxed slightly. “Nothing has changed. The Golden Guard is still as annoying as ever.” Despite probably trying to keep her tone neutral, contempt bled into her voice. Eda tried not to snicker. “And Kikimora is her usual self.”

“So…annoying and rotten to the core?”

“Precisely.”

At this, Eda really did snicker. It was almost amusing to hear her sister rant about her coworkers like a normal person—even if said coworkers were the most powerful government officials in the city. The Golden Guard was the Third in Command of the Emperor—inferior to only Lilith and the Emperor himself. Kikimora was the Deputy Head of glorious Sector Ten—the Imperial Sector.

And if the stories from Lilith were any indication, both of them were annoying pieces of shit.

“Why does Belos even keep her around?” Eda asked in amusement, leaning back in her seat.

Lilith shrugged, suddenly looked more weary than anyone in their mid-thirties should be. “The Emperor works in mysterious ways.” She took a sip of her coffee. Eda fought the urge to snatch the cup from her hands and replace it with something else—ideally something without an excessive amount of caffeine. And that was coming from her of all people. “Although if it was up to me, I would have chosen someone actually competent as my Deputy Head.”

Oh?

Lilith expressing distaste for her job? That was a first.

Eda scoffed. “Belos didn’t take your feelings into account when he appointed Kiki? Shocker.” In an ideal world, he would allow Lilith to choose her own Deputy Head, just as the Heads of the other nine sectors were allowed to do.

But in an ideal world, Belos would not be in the picture to begin with.

“I—the Emperor knows what is best for these situations!” Lilith immediately insisted, flushing bright red as though caught doing something awful. “I was not—I would never question his judgment—”

“Because that would be such a big deal,” Eda grumbled.

A beat.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Eda was hit with the sudden realization that Lilith was genuinely upset by the issue, and she once again found herself regretful. Maybe poking the sleep-deprived bear was not a good idea. “Just—”

Oh, what the hell.

Maybe Lilith would be receptive to the conversation. After all, they had just been talking about her frustrations with work.

Clearing her throat, Eda intentionally softened her tone and tried to speak with as little venom as possible. “I know you’ve always wanted to work for the Imperial Sector,” she began slowly. The words were like sawdust in her mouth. “And it really is amazing to see how far you’ve come! But…Lilith, being in that damn cult makes you so fucking unhappy. You’re constantly overworked and burned out—when was the last time you even enjoyed your job?”

Eda spoke as quickly as she could, trying to make her point clear before Lilith shut down. Unfortunately, Lilith was already averting her eyes. “Edalyn—”

“No, Lily!” Now that Eda had started, she was unable to stop. She could not handle seeing Lilith in such a state, progressively spiraling into misery and having no one at her side. “Don’t you get it? Belos doesn’t have your best interests in mind! He doesn’t have anyone’s best interests in mind!”

At the mention of the Emperor, Lilith visibly stiffened. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she hissed, her voice low. She was starting to look more like the feisty sister Eda had grown up with, and Eda felt a pang of something in her chest.

“Damn it—he doesn’t care about you, Lilith!”

There. She said it.

Lilith stared at her with wide eyes.

Her heart cracked just a little more. Eda watched Lilith process her words and bristle, coiled as tightly as a snake about to strike. Blood boiled in her veins—she almost wanted to see Lilith fight back, if only as proof that there was still some life inside of her.

But as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lilith murmured. She lowered her gaze, her voice suspiciously hollow.

Eda felt her own hopes shatter, resignation cold and heavy in her chest. Not again.

“Right. Yeah. Of course.”

The rest of their lunch was spent in silence.

~~~

A/N: What did you think? I am actually really curious—did this turn out as well as I hoped? Or has the sleep deprivation bled into my writing?

Fun fact: coffee is apparantly a fruit seed soup! This is something I learned while working on this chapter.

Taglist: @whumptober-archive

[writingforatwistedworld]

Hiya! I saw that your requests were open, so if you don't mind, how about Lilia, Rook, and Floyd with the picking them up and saying, "your mine" scenario?

Not entirely happy with this. Might post a rewritten version one day.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, kidnapping, poison, murder, killing, blood, mutilation, obsession, possessiveness

Oh uh.... you sure you want to do this?

He will do a bit more than to squeeze you afterwards....

Ok a lot more than just “a bit”

But let us talk about what is going on

Floyd being the... eely eel that he practically throws himself at you when he sees you for the first time

And then like a cartoon you just pick him up and throw him over your shoulder

Jade is frozen in shock and Azul has sunken to the floor, also wanting to be treated like a sack full of potatoes

He is giggeling the entire time

Finally! You are here and you are even taking him with yourself!

Now, that potion on Azuls shelf was supposed to give a land dweller fins, right?

And combined with the other one he should also make it impossible for you to leave him...

His father also once showed him a house in the deepest depths of the sea. Maybe that would be a neat little new home for you....

I would recommend when you are putting him down not to move

Why? If not you will have I say goodbye to your ribs

But it's too late anyways. I hope you like the endless darkness of the sea

Suddenly the oh so slick hunter isn't so slick anymore

More like a tomato

Rooks entire career as a hunter could be easily questioned right now

Reason for that is his very loud and very not-so-hidden movements

It all started on a normal, sunny day

The birds were chirping, the sky was free of clouds and you, his dear Overseer, we're approaching him with open arms

Wait... what? No he has to be dreaming! This is too perfect to be real! This...

All I'm saying is that a potato sack cosplay in ordinary daily clothing

Also, he isn't thrashing around because he dislikes it

Oh no, in fact, he could stay like this for eternity

Rook is just a bit shy you kmow

Ok, hard to believe, I know, but believe it or not, the hunter is weak as soon as something is about you

Under normal circumstances he would have played it off, acting as if everything was normal

But nope, he is being carried by you to Ramshackle

When you finally set him down and guide his head onto your lap he is ready to do anything for you

Even if that means preventing the heart of his queen to you

First of all, probably the easiest one to carry

Second of all, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!

Run. Just start running already. WHY ARE YOU CONTINUING TO CARRY HIM??!

Lilia, like the little annoyance *ahem* charming gentleman that he is enjoys every second of this

Yes, it is a bit different than what he imagined if he ever were to meet you but he takes what he can get

And also, is happy that he is on the smaller side and easy to carry

He can see Sebek in the distance who is wondering if Jade had mixed one of his more poisonous mushrooms into his food this morning

Ah! You are quite strong dear! Those hands that are so bloodstained finally pay off!

And then! AND THEN! You even say that he is yours!

Ok either you wanted him to imprison you in a lavish mansion in the middle of nowhere and play family or you have no survival instinct

The second someone just looks funny at you two they can prepare to loose a rather important body part later... the head...

Grace and all of that is thrown out of the window. Only your shoulder which is digging quite painfully into his stomach

This is self-aware Lilia so somewhere in his twisted little head he is also swooning for that sweet sweet sensation of... pain... did he take a stabbing too much in the past of what the heck??!

Yes, he is all yours! And you are all his!

Don't think about leaving though. He has... means to make you stay (somewhere down there it's absolutely fine to just cut off your legs if nothing else works so yeah)

Enjoy the time you are still able to stroke his soft hair whilst resting his head on your lap after setting him down in Ramshackle

You won't be seen afterwards ever again so... I hope your arms don't get tired too fast!

Good luck!