#Second Chance Romane

[dira333]

The Road Not Taken - part 3

Shibi x  female reader with a name - arranged marriage

Summary: Airi Nara seems a hopeless case, until her grandmother sets her up for an arranged marriage. But was marrying Shibi Aburame the right choice after all?

Character Sheet - Masterlist - part 4

tagging: @spellcasterlight for the headcanon that Shino and Shibi are not into sweets and @wing-ed-thing​ for the Honey Stand Series that made me believe they have at least half a dozen jars of Honey around. (if you want to be tagged in this, let me know)

Shino had not wanted to nap today, and the fact that Chiasa had asked three times told you that he usually did. 

But he was stubborn, refusing rest just as much as letting you out of sight.

He was a quiet kid, that much was clear, the only thing that could get him talking were questions about bugs of any kind. 

Where Shikamaru liked to be carried whenever possible, he wanted to walk himself, rejecting every offer of carrying him until you took pity and insisted that you needed the rest yourself. He had almost fallen asleep next to you then, in the warm autumn sun, watching over the pumpkin patches as you busied your hands with another carving.

But Muta had shown up then, a boy of about 12 years and a cousin of Shino. He’d just graduated from the academy and used a break from training to run home, stopping to talk to you.

“We live over there.” He pointed to a house near the pumpkin patches, the left side of it overgrown with hop. “Father said I should invite you over when I see you.”

“Oh, is he here?”

“No, but Mother is.” He went still for a second. “Lunch is done. Do you want to come in?”

“We shouldn’t. Shibi might come home any minute and we haven’t made lunch yet.”

He was quiet again but he did not move. The Aburame seemed to need more time to formulate their responses, so you waited patiently, fighting down the little annoyance that had arisen when Muta’s arrival had stopped Shino from dozing off.

“Aburame-san will not be home for lunch. Why? The debriefing is taking longer than planned.”

“Oh. Well, if he said so, I guess we can come over. What do you think, Shino?”

You turn toward the boy.

“We should. Why? Toshiko-san has invited us.”

Toshiko, Muta’s mother, is as quiet as her son. As it turns out, she’s Shibi’s sister-in-law and not a born Aburame.

You want to ask if their marriage had also been arranged but you don’t dare in front of the children.

As it turns out, you shouldn’t have worried about that. Muta and his father use Shōkaichū, a insect different to the Kikaichu that Shino uses and when Muta has to leave for training, Shino has no qualms about sitting in front of a glass container watching them move.

“I am from a smaller village not far from Konoha. I married into the Aburame Clan about 9 years ago.” Toshiko smiles warmly. “I know well how you feel.”

You blink surprised. “Was your marriage-”

“Arranged? Yes. Our village consists mostly of farmers and we rely on Konoha for protection. It is not unusual for women from our village to marry into Konoha and those arrangements are often made because a girl catches the sight of a Shinobi passing through or working a mission there. Kenji is not much of a talker. He works with worms instead of bugs which wasn’t that great for his popularity. I caught his eye once on a mission and he got Chiasa-san to talk to my parents. The rest is history.” Her smile is warm at the memory.

“How was it for you, settling in such a big village?”

Toshiko laughs, her darker skin not shawing any signs of a blush but she’s fanning her cheeks to cool them down. 

“Oh, remembering those first weeks. I was like a newborn fawn. Everything scared me. And to think that almost everyone here is a Shinobi! Even you. I loved being around Zoka, though. She was so different and made me feel right at home.”

“Zoka?” You ask.

“Oh,” Toshiko presses a hand to her lips. “Shino’s mother.” She whispers with a look at the boy. Shino’s still focused on the worms.

“Shibi doesn’t talk about her, I know.” She sighs. “It was awful for him when she died. For all of us.”

“I can only imagine.” You say, your voice heavy with emotion. 

Losing someone before you can start your life together is one thing, but losing them on the happiest day of your life - the birth of your child - is something entirely else.

“We shouldn’t talk about her, though.” Toshiko’s hands are busy pouring tea now, putting little pieces of pastry onto your plate, and doing everything to keep moving.

It’s not hard to guess that no one wants to talk about her for fear of disrupting the peace.

You’d like to know more but you know how to pick your battles. And this is neither the time nor the right person for it.

“Tell me about the work you do. I want to help and get a good insight into what needs to be done day to day.”

“Oh, you should take notes. There’s a lot to do around here.”

-

Shino’s sitting in the living room, his exhaustion forgotten over the book he’s reading. He’s making slow progress today, however, a testament to his exhaustion, but you leave him to it. Toshiko has lent you one of her cookbooks, familiar with the struggle to switch from regular to vegetarian meals. 

The food is almost ready when the door opens, Shibi bringing in the sounds and smells of rain.

You’re happy to see him, the warm emotion followed shortly by a burst of cold guilt. 

Tomorrow, you tell yourself quietly as you move to greet Shibi, you’ll stop by the graveyard and pay your respects to Jurou. 

You’re a bit distracted as you greet him, your thoughts pulling you into directions you don’t want to go. At least until Shibi admits that he hasn’t eaten since breakfast.

Only when the rebuke doesn’t come you realize how much you’ve grown to expect it.

In Yori’s household, there was either perfection or failure, no in-between.

But, you suspect, it’s only your second day with the Aburame’s. Things can still change.

And as if he’s heard you, Shino refuses to help set the table.

After him being by your side every minute the last two days and trying to help with everything whether it was wanted of him or not, it’s a little surprising. 

“I’ll help you.” Shibi offers instead, following you into the kitchen. There, he pulls something from his coat.

“I got you something. Why? I want you to feel at home here.”

Package after package is loaded into your arms. There’s chocolate - and not the cheap kind - and Umeboshi, all in all about ten different candies in great variety.

You don’t know what’s more surprising. The generosity, or how he delivers it.

As if it was only natural to bring home sweets for you just after you’ve mentioned that you liked eating them. 

“I-” You stop and press one hand to your lips to gather yourself.

Tears are threatening to spill. You’ve spent years buying and eating sweets in secret because Yori was nothing but adamant that you’d ruin your figure if you’d got just a piece of chocolate into your hands. 

Considering his intentions, he’s successful. It makes you feel right at home.

“That’s very kind of you, Shibi.” You tell him quietly, words still catching a little in your throat.

Your resolve to speak to him after dinner is now stronger than ever.

You might not be in love with him and vice versa, but for Shino’s sake and your combined happiness you can work at something resembling a family.

“Let’s eat, shall we?”

-

“I don’t want to go to bed.” Shino’s adamant. 

You’re not sure if you’re reading Shibi’s face correctly but he looks surprised as well.

“You need to go to bed. Why? The Kikaichu need rest as much as you do.”

“You’re not going to bed either.” Shino’s mouth is pulled into a line and you lower yourself onto the floor next to him.

“Do you know why we rest at night?”

He blinks in surprise at you. “Because we need it?”

“Yes. Our body is a miracle, but it has to do a lot of work to keep us healthy. Some things it can only do while we are asleep. And one of these things is growth. If you’d stop sleeping now, you wouldn’t grow anymore or only a little. That’s why we want you to have the right amount of sleep. We want you to grow tall and strong. Your father and I have already grown as tall as we can and we know that our body doesn’t need as many hours of rest but it still needs the rest.”

“I want to stay up longer. Why? I want to spend time with Father.”

You nod in understanding. 

“I understand. Sometimes your father has to work in the evenings. It’s okay to go to bed early then, right? But when you know that he has time for you in the evening, you can take a nap around lunchtime. That way you can go to bed a bit later. Would that be okay? We can start that only tomorrow, though, because you could not nap today.”

Shino considers your words for a moment before he nods, arms crossed over his chest.

“That is okay. Can you tell me a story before I go to bed?” He turns to his father.

“A story?” Shibi looks at a loss.

“I will explain it to him.” You tell Shino. “How about you brush your teeth and get ready in the meantime?”

Shino nods and makes his way up the stairs, still a bit slower than necessary, trying to lengthen the time he can be awake.

“I told him a good night story yesterday.” You explain to Shibi when Shino is out of sight. “My parents used to do that for me when I was little. It helped me fall asleep.”

“What kind of stories?”

“They can be educational or silly. Sometimes they told me what they did that day, without me. It doesn’t have to be long. I don’t know how you’ve done it before, but my parents usually ended the story by kissing my temple and telling me that they would be right next door if I needed them. That always gave me this sense of security that made me fall asleep right away.”

Shibi’s quiet after your explanation. 

Eventually, Shino’s voice is heard from upstairs.

“I’m ready.” He calls out.

“He’s calling for you.” Shibi explains. “Why? He only talks when he needs to. You can’t communicate with him through the Kikaichu.”

“When we’re both home, we should both say good night.” You get up from the floor and lead the way. 

“Do you have a story in mind?” You ask, your voice quiet as you walk up the stairs. “I can lend you one.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“Hey,” You greet Shino warmly at the door of his room. “Mind if I come in too? Do you want a kiss or a hug?”

He looks unsure. 

“You can have both if you can’t decide.”

He nods and sits up in bed so you can hug him. He’s a bit stiff in your arms and you wonder how often he’s gotten hugged before. The Aburame Clan is a tight-knit group but they are not very touch-driven, it seems. 

When you brush your hand through his hair, a few Kikaichu stick to your fingers.

“Look.” You tell him with a smile. “They want to say good night too.”

He opens his hands to call them back to him and you lean forward to press your lips onto his temple, right between his eyes.

“Good night. Sleep tight. And don’t let the bed bugs bite you.”

-

Shibi comes down half an hour later and takes a seat on the other end of the Couch.

You’ve made tea but your cup is still almost full, the package of chocolate, however, is almost completely gone.

“Do you want a piece?” You hand one to him, surprised that he actually takes it.

You take the last one and drop it into your mouth, savoring the taste. It’s really good chocolate.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“How were your parents like, Shibi?” His name rolls off your tongue like glass marbles. He doesn’t react to it. Is it the first time you’ve called him by his first name?

“They were good parents.”

“Were they strict? Or did they give you a lot of freedom? And did they give you both the same rules or was one more lenient than the other?”

“My father was the Clan head. His word was to be followed. He died when I was a Genin and my mother held the position until I was old enough to lead. I don’t know if they were strict, as you call it. Why? Nothing they told me was hard to follow.”

“My father was a dreamer. Pretty lazy too. I think it’s an inherent Nara trait. A lot of us have a genius brain to combat that but my father did not. If I did not want to do something, my father would not have minded. My mother tried to combat it but she was never really eager.”

You pause for a second to calm your nerves.

“You might wonder why I’m telling you this and asking these questions. We talked about my role in this family and I think… I think Shino would benefit if we are a united front. You’re the Clan head and it’s like you said, your words are to be followed, but it goes beyond that. I need to know about the rules in this Clan, even those that are unspoken.”

Shibi’s quiet and you take your chance to push further.

“And I’d like to make some suggestions. If you don’t like them, fine, we don’t have to implement any of that. But I’d like you to think about it. One thing that I think you should consider… Well… I think you should talk to Shino about his mother.”

Shibi moves as if you’d just slapped him across the face. His eyes are hidden behind his glasses but you’re pretty sure he’s staring at you.

When he speaks, the words are rough around the edges and you listen very carefully. He’s a quiet man and quiet waters run deep. There will come a time when you overstep and you don’t know him well enough to know how he’ll react.

“Why? He has you.”

You swallow thickly.

“My financés name was Yasuda Jurou. He was an orphan without a Clan. I haven’t spoken about him in a while and if I don’t remember him, who will?” Your voice shakes as you speak but it does not break.

“I have not lived through your heartbreak, Shibi. But you should think about this.”

-

You don’t sleep well that night.

What if you read Shibi wrong? What right do you have to make demands, on your second day as his wife, no less?

He’s not only a Clan head but a powerful Jonin as well.

It was the sweets, you guess, that made you brave. His quiet generosity toward you, something he didn’t need to do but did so nonetheless.

You hadn’t talked much more after that, had spent over an hour just sitting there in Silence.

And it had been tense but not awkward. 

Shibi didn’t seem someone who used Silence as a passive-agressive weapon, but rather as necessary means in conversation.

As he didn’t get up to leave or urge you to speak, you had felt compelled to follow his example, let the Silence envelope you as you gave him room to think, even dared to lean forward to brush your lips against his cheek before you went to bed yourself.

Your morning starts earlier than usual. You can’t sleep anyway, so why not use the hours to get a head start?

First, you open every cupboard in the kitchen again, taking stock of what is where. 

You find a few jars of honey, pull the rice flower out of another cupboard and start preparing, your former plan overthrown by your need to stress bake. 

By the time Shino appears at the kitchen door, the room smells like the inside of a cake.

“What are you making?” He asks.

“Honey Kasutera. Do you want to try it?”

He comes to your side and eyes the sponge cake with curious eyes. 

“Is it sweet?”

“Yes. It’s not a breakfast food but you can have a piece for breakfast if you want. I’m making Bento Boxes as well, do you want to help form the Onigiri?”

He nods, his eyes still focused on the cake.

“Why is it so big?”

“It’s for the whole Clan. I thought we could bring something to every house later. Would you like that?”

Save for those sweet, calm moments you have with Shino in the kitchen, breakfast is a quiet, quick affair.

Shibi’s quiet, only tells you that he will be out the whole day.

When Shino then promptly reminds him to take his Bento with him and tells both of you proudly that he will take a nap to be able to spend time together in the evening, Shibi nods but utters no words.

When you send him away with a kiss to his cheek and Shino steps up to hug his legs, however, Shibi bends down and presses his own lips against the thick mess of hair atop Shino’s head.

“I’ll see you at dinner.” He reminds both of you and leaves without another look back.

“Well,” You look at Shino, “Let’s clean up so we can start delivering the cake.”

For a Clan that produces honey, the Aburame Clan members are not half as interested in sweets as you are. But they are polite to a fault, everyone inviting you in for a cup of tea and a quick chat to the point where you have to ask everyone for a chance to use the restroom.

At the end of the day your head is swimming from all the names and faces, the different bugs that each part of the family uses, and the sheer size of the compound.

Shino has taken his nap at Muta’s place, his head in your lap, his legs stretched out on the Couch.

Toshiko doesn’t hide her smile when you brush your hands through his hair.

“You’re really taken to him, huh?”

“I’ve always loved children. I thought I would have my own by now but life never goes as planned, does it?”

She looks surprised. 

“What do you mean?”

For a moment, you want to bite your tongue and switch to a safer topic. But you’ve made your point with Shibi and if you don’t stick to the same rules, it would make you nothing less of a hypocrite.

“I was engaged. His name was Yasuda Jurou. Originally the wedding should have taken place around the time the Nine-Tailed-Fox attacked but that pushed the date back.”

You pause, swallow, the memory still clogging up your throat like it did 4 years ago.

“Did he die in the attack?” Toshiko asks, her voice soft and compassionate.

“No.” You take a deep breath. “A few weeks later, we had a new day set, we were sent on a mission and a few things went terribly wrong.” You point at your left eye. “He died on that mission.”

“I’m so sorry.” Toshiko leans over to put her hand on yours, the touch surprisingly soothing to your inner turmoil.

“He was a good man.” You can hear yourself say, the words slipping out of your mouth, “Jurou, I mean. I haven’t talked about him in a while because my - the people around me were never as close to him as I was and it felt like it bothered them that I couldn’t stop talking about him.”

“What was he like?”

You snort softly, the sound surprising to both of you.

“He was a bit of an idiot. But he was incredibly talented and he could motivate people. I felt lucky every day that he chose me, you know.”

She nods. “I know that feeling.” Toshiko hesitates for a moment, her eyes on Shino who’s stirring in your lap, slowly but surely pulling from sleep.

“If you want to talk, I’m here for you.”

[dargeereads]

The House on Memory Lane by Zoe York

 5 stars

This is wonderful collection that starts with the novel of our couple getting their second chance, then three more short stories that follow them as their lives change over time, and how they adjust, to keep their love, and lives, they way they want and works for them

[wwerasliin-sideblog]

Jimmy continuing to show a little growth and maturity this week, in some aspects —

"We Are The Ones." - Roman. "Yea, but we're not though." - Jimmy. — Jimmy is starting to see things for what they truly are, he's seeing the here and now, reality, not living on past laid, power and accolades (as Roman mentions), he's being realistic about their situation, where they're at, right now. In this moment.

He sees they need help, he sees it for what it is, as it is. He's not got unrealistic expectations - he's had the opportunity to see it more *clearly*, from afar, being stuck at home, giving him some time and some clarity.

He's had time, time away; from being sucked into the epicenter of it, from the chaos mulling all around, at every turn, and every corner... It's given him the space and time to think, contemplate, reflect, learn and grow. He knows better now, he's more level-headed. At least, he seems to be for now.

He's got another thing coming though, if he thinks that Jey is going to drop everything and come running to them, just cause they ask nicely. Especially after what they BOTH did to him, hurting him and tormenting him, manipulating him and using him, playing with him, with his life like that; everything they put him through.. But, I will say, I'm glad to see Jimmy humble himself enough to acknowledge that they need help.

And I get that Jimmy has his own issues with Jey, but most of all, it comes from a place of hurt. He's only ever wanted to protect Jey, at least that's how it started out, but it slowly festered into something more nefarious, bitter and ugly..

But right now, there's a bigger problem to deal with. They may just have to put aside their issues, just for a moment to deal with this ridiculous monstrosity in front of them. They will surely have to circle back to and deal their own issues once they've dealt with this, this hideous and convoluted excuse they call the new Bloodline. Or, prove me wrong and sort fix yourselves first, before you try and sort fix something outside of yourselves.

There's a lot of healing to be had.

[malamodravila]

Roman is fifth and I’m going to get a heart attack at physics 💜💜

[harufallinwonderland]

ITS THE WAY HANA KEPT HER FUCKED UP ASS BANGS AS A REMEBER OF WHEN SHE WAS A PRECURE AND PROBABLY THE BEST TIME OF HER LIFE AND WAS ABLE TO FULLY EMBRACE THE FUTURE AND SOME OF HER DEAREST friends ahhh😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[nmolesofadrenaline]

[northwoodsfan]

Grace Nugget for 12.3.22

Grace Nugget for 12.3.22

[vaguelyprophetic]

someone on twitter compared stewyroman to amy and laurie from little women…………. I see it……..

[myplasticadversary]

Still ruminating on the GKU (girl Kendall universe) and Logan trying to drive a wedge between Roman and the girls in the house early on but also maybe a form of Dog Pound does still happen as he's encouraging Kendall to be commanding and oppressive of her inferiors, and Roman is in a grey spot where he's technically above her in the hierarchy and gets more grace than in canon but he still needs to be brought in line, and since Caroline's not interested in that job Logan considers Kendall to be his partner in that. Of course the problem as usual comes from Roman learning the "wrong lesson" from how he's treated.

[livresderomance]

📕L'épouse en fuite du PDG📕

En public, elle était la secrétaire de direction du PDG. En privé, elle était l'épouse qu'il n'avait jamais officiellement reconnue.

Lorsqu'elle a appris qu'elle était enceinte, Jenessa était folle de joie. Mais cette joie a cédé la place à la peur lorsque son mari, Ryan, a ravivé la flamme avec son premier amour. Le cœur lourd, elle a choisi de le libérer et de partir.

Lorsqu'ils se sont revus, l'attention de Ryan a été attirée par le ventre proéminent de Jenessa. « Tu portes le bébé de qui ? » a-t-il demandé.

Mais elle s'est contentée de se moquer. « Ça ne te regarde pas, mon cher ex-mari ! »

𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙯 𝙥𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙧 𝙥𝙡𝙪𝙨👉https://reurl.cc/pv5Kq4

Chapitre 1 Félicitations, vous êtes enceinte

« Mme Wright, félicitations ! Votre bébé est en très bonne santé. »

Jenessa Wright est sortie de l'hôpital, hébétée, serrant le résultat du test de grossesse contre sa poitrine.

En baissant les yeux, elle a inconsciemment caressé son bas-ventre encore plat et s'est mise à sourire.

Elle portait le bébé de Ryan !

Souriant jusqu'aux oreilles, Jenessa s'est empressée de prendre son téléphone pour appeler Ryan Haynes, son mari, tout excitée à l'idée de partager cette merveilleuse nouvelle. Cependant, alors qu'elle était sur le point de composer son numéro, son téléphone s'est mis à sonner. Quand on parle du loup, on voit sa queue.

C'était un message de Ryan. Il disait : « Viens tout de suite à l'hôtel Imodon. »

L'hôtel Imodon ? Pourquoi voulait-il qu'elle s'y rende tout d'un coup ? Jenessa était perplexe, mais n'a pas hésité longtemps. Elle a hélé un taxi et s'est directement rendue à l'hôtel.

Comme Ryan voulait la voir, elle pensait qu'elle pouvait aussi bien lui annoncer la bonne nouvelle en personne.

Sur la banquette arrière du taxi, elle souriait intérieurement en se demandant comment Ryan réagirait à l'annonce de sa grossesse.

Le cœur battant d'impatience, Jenessa est arrivée à l'hôtel. Dès qu'elle est descendue de voiture, elle a remarqué que le hall d'entrée était orné de fleurs et d'un tapis rouge flambant neuf, manifestement préparé pour une célébration.

Jenessa s'est arrêtée, momentanément stupéfaite, avant de se rappeler que c'était aujourd'hui leur anniversaire de mariage.

Se pourrait-il que Ryan lui avait demandé de venir ici pour lui faire une surprise ?

Le hall de l'hôtel grouillait d'invités, dont les rires et les bavardages emplissaient l'air.

Jenessa s'est frayé un chemin à travers la foule, sa tenue sobre se fondant dans le décor festif sans être remarquée.

Il ne lui a pas fallu longtemps pour repérer l'homme à la beauté éblouissante qui se détachait facilement de la foule.

Ce n'était autre que son mari, Ryan Haynes, le père de leur bébé.

Alors qu'un sourire se dessinait sur ses lèvres, elle a aperçu la femme qui se tenait à côté de Ryan, et son sourire s'est figé.

Cette femme était le premier amour de Ryan, Maisie Powell !

Depuis quand Maisie était-elle revenue en ville ?

Jenessa est restée scotchée sur place, paralysée en regardant Ryan et Maisie divertir les invités comme un couple parfait.

Des amis les entouraient et semblaient les féliciter.

« Maisie, tu es enfin de retour à la maison. Ça mérite un toast ! »

« Ryan, après toutes ces années, Maisie et toi êtes enfin réunis. Cela ne mérite-t-il pas un verre de célébration ? »

Peu à peu, les taquineries s'intensifiaient.

Maisie, vêtue d'une robe rouge sexy et d'un maquillage exquis, a gloussé gracieusement : « Arrêtez de nous taquiner, les gars. Ryan est déjà marié et a une femme. »

À la mention de Jenessa, la femme de Ryan, les gens autour ont manifesté du mépris.

« Jenessa ? Je t'en prie ! Ryan ne l'a épousée que pour apaiser sa mamie ! »

« Exactement ! Ryan a toujours voulu t'épouser. N'est-ce pas, Ryan ? »

Ryan, qui ressemblait à un prince dans son costume sur mesure, dégageait un charisme cool et unique.

« Ça suffit, arrête de taquiner Maisie », a-t-il froidement dit. « Elle ne peut pas boire. Laissez-moi boire à sa place. »

Dès qu'il a dit cela, les rires et les taquineries de ses amis se sont intensifiés.

« Hé, Ryan, c'est quoi ce bordel ? Tu es tellement protecteur avec elle, n'est-ce pas ? D'accord ! Si elle ne peut pas boire, tu devras boire sa part ! Et tu n'as pas le droit de partir avant d'avoir fini ! »

Au milieu de ces taquineries endiablées, Ryan gardait son sang-froid, mais un sourire indéniable se dessinait à la commissure de ses lèvres.

À côté de lui, Maisie a baissé la tête et rougi timidement.

Cette scène d'amour était tellement flagrante qu'elle a transpercé le cœur de Jenessa.

Elle ne savait pas quand ni comment, mais elle se retrouvait hors de l'hôtel, et ne s'en est rendu compte que lorsque des gouttes de pluie froides ont frappé son visage.

Le vent glacial et la pluie battante l'ont enveloppée, et en un rien de temps, un violent orage a éclaté, la trempant jusqu'aux os.

Pourtant, elle n'a pas bougé d'un pouce et s'est contentée de fixer la pluie d'un regard vide. Pourquoi Ryan l'avait-il appelée ? Était-ce juste un stratagème pour qu'elle soit témoin de leur affection et qu'elle cède gracieusement sa place de femme à sa Maisie bien-aimée ?

La respiration de Jenessa est devenue saccadée. Regardant autour d'elle d'un air hébété, elle pensait qu'il n'y avait rien d'autre à faire que de quitter cet endroit misérable.

D'un pas raide et délibéré, elle est rentrée à la maison sous la pluie. Debout sur le seuil de la porte, elle contemplait la maison familière, les pensées à la dérive.

Il y a deux ans, alors que sa famille était au bord de la faillite, ils avaient tenté de sauver leur situation en la mariant à la famille Haynes.

Au départ, Ryan n'avait pas été d'accord, mais comme sa mamie gravement malade n'avait pas cessé de faire pression sur lui, il avait accepté à contrecœur ce mariage arrangé.

Maintenant que la santé de sa mamie s'était améliorée et que Maisie était revenue de l'étranger, Jenessa pensait qu'il était peut-être temps pour elle de faire ses valises et de quitter Ryan.

Jenessa ne savait pas combien de temps elle était restée devant la maison avant que le bruit d'un moteur de voiture ne lui parvienne.

Puis, la voix grave de Ryan s'est fait entendre à côté d'elle. « Jenessa, pourquoi restes-tu là, sous la pluie ? »

𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙯 𝙥𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙞𝙧 𝙥𝙡𝙪𝙨👉https://reurl.cc/pv5Kq4

[jaimelire-france]

La Famille Elliot est un roman d'amour inoubliable de la romancière anglaise Jane Austen.

[lire1x]

Et si tu revenais de Coralie Janne

Ca y est, je reprends du service et je démarre une nouvelle fournée de chroniques sur un livre que j’ai vraiment beaucoup aimé. Un livre qui m’a replongée dans un temps éloigné où j’étais jeune et belle. Lol. Pas encore d’enfants. Plein de rêves dans la tête. Avec “Et si tu revenais”, Coralie Janne signe un premier roman agréable dans la veine des premiers romans de Marc Levy…Ceux où il était…

[todoga]

Old pic

(If you've seen it before, you may (or may not) notice some smol changes, cause I didn't like the old one ver, but I like the setting so much. And I decided to give it a second chance)

No historical accuracy obviously. Something from the long timeline of the Roman Empire and that's enough :)

[polyshipweek]

Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Roleslaying with Roman (Web Series) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Noise/Roman of Reston/Youngblood (Roleslaying With Roman) Characters: Youngblood (Roleslaying with Roman), Roman of Reston (Roleslaying With Roman), Noise (Roleslaying With Roman) Additional Tags: Drabble Collection, Second Chances, Canon Rewrite, (i mean more like retelling but with a bit or two added honestly), Trans Woman Youngblood (Roleslaying With Roman), (because she's canon to me), Angst with a Happy Ending Series: Part 2 of Rem's Polyship Week Fics Summary:

Every moment of every day brings new chances. Or, sometimes, new chances that bear a striking resemblance to old ones.

Being haunted by a past she just wants to leave behind makes those resemblances stick out more in Youngblood's mind.

---

Written for Day 2 of Polyship Week 2023. Chosen prompt: Second Chances.

[jaylver]

THE FIVE YEAR DEAL — P.JS

synopsis: having to deal with a four year long situationship was hard enough in the first place, but when your favourite situationship texted you on a random night after a year of no contact, it was a much harder scenario than imagined. what happens when he brings up that old pact you made about getting married in 5 years and you start rekindling a relationship that was lost?

pairings: non-idol!jay x afab!reader

genre: ex-situationship to friends to lovers, second chance romance, angst, romance, pining

warning(s): profanities, drinking and partying, slight violence

wc: 6.5k

a/n: after a month of not posting, here's a very very belated jay fic that was meant to be for his birthday (scream). please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

Park Jong Seong was your roman empire. There, you actually said it.

He was a thought that constantly hovered in your mind from time to time. Whether he was a ghost that lingered to haunt you or a sweet thought that remained, you couldn't tell. All you knew was that he had changed your life for the better and the worst.

A lesson you'd often tell others is to never get yourself involved in a situationship, worse if it's with your best friend. Unfortunately, you were speaking from experience which involved Jay, your ex situationship slash best friend. Look how you and him eventually turned out.

An almost four year long situationship with Jay that took an absolute toll on you had ended the year before. You agreed on no contact with him after, trying to create a peaceful life without him out of your life, yet it was entirely impossible when you shared mutual friends that reminded you of your good times with him even though he wasn't around. 

You hate to admit it, but losing a person who was your best friend cut deep into your gut and heart combined. It was, at least, for the better. That was something your friends told you that you gradually recited in your head. It wasn't very effective, however. You still thought about him, quite often actually. But you supposed that was the haunting and painful part of having a relationship with someone that was almost a lover but never became one. 

It was the same exact night you were thinking about him when a text appeared on the homescreen of your phone. You stared at the notification for God knows how long, debating if your lack of sleep was finally catching up to you. The contact name was unmistakable, there it was, Jay's text. Jay, your Jay? 

The strength you had trying to act casual, but in reality, you were dying internally. The hold that man has on you was unimaginable. 

jjong: you up?

you: ?

jjong: did you delete my number?

If only he knew, he would've probably laughed. You never deleted his number, nor did you even change his contact name. His name constantly stuck out in the list of contacts, just like the memories of him in your head.

you: no, i didn't. what i meant was why are you texting me at 2 am?

jjong: i thought of something, something we said four years ago

you: okay …?

jjong: you said if we're both still  single in five years, we should get married

you: you took that seriously?

jjong: should i not have?

you: dumbass, i was tipsy

jjong: you didn't say that when i brought it up after you were sober

you: it's stupid

jjong: it's not. come on, y/n, can we please start afresh? i miss you.

He missed you?  

jjong: i'm serious. can we please meet up?

you: you swear you're not going to pull something?

jjong: no?? the most i'll do is pull out an engagement ring but who knows

you: cut the crap, jay 

jjong: don't act like that didn't make you giggle even the slightest

jjong: meet me downtown. the usual place we go to :)

How could he act so nonchalant when bringing up the past? The usual place that you haven't been to after cutting contact with him was something he still recalled, but to you, it was a place you avoided up until now. 

It was hard to sleep when your mind was filled with thoughts of him, except this time, instead of missing him, you dreaded him and the part where you're going to meet him for the first time in a year. What was he going to say? 

The wish you wished upon the lone star that night was for Jay to finally set his feelings and emotions clear. But whether it will come true or not, the truth will soon befall on you.

The day you planned to meet Jay was a cloudy one. It was likely a foreshadow, but you chose to ignore the overthinking you constantly did.

You were the first one there in the cafe, specifically sitting at that table by the corner which you and Jay usually hogged. Being there early due to mostly the anxiety, you got to calm your nerves down and prepare yourself to face Jay. 

It shouldn't be hard to meet someone you already knew, but why did it feel that way? The unspoken feelings and those that were left hanging, unaddressed, was what haunted the both of you. You supposed this meet up with him would hopefully change that the slightest bit. All you hoped for was that he didn't become a stranger to you.

You failed to realise his approaching figure as you were sitting with your back facing the entrance, it was your usual spot anyway. Not to mention, his footsteps were quiet as ever, a thing about him that was unchanging. 

"Y/N," you heard his voice before meeting his eyes, watching as he slipped onto the chair opposite of you, the warm aura of his never failing to provide a sense of comfort for you. "Hey,"

The change of his hair colour grabbed your attention first. The silvery colour that the light bounced on suited him well. He always wanted to experiment with his hair, and you didn't expect him to really do it. Other than that, he had the same features, same smile, same warm colour tone eyes and skin. All in all, he was the Jay you knew, the one you loved.  

"Jay," you spoke his name as if it was a foreign taste on your tongue. His irises flashed an unreadable spark at the sound of his name coming out of your mouth. You fell into silence, not knowing how to start the conversation whereas he seemed rather speechless instead. 

He shook himself out of it, a slight frown etched onto his lips. "Thanks for making time to see me. I know … you probably didn't want to, so I'm glad you came," his tone contradicted the way his texts sounded, the initial confidence was currently wavering.

"It's no problem," you shook your head softly, a secret hope you had kept shouting in your mind where he would fix everything. 

"I didn't want to leave us at that, Y/N," his sudden confession surprised you, but it left your heart beating in both anticipation and anxiety. "The way we left things, it wasn't right. I wasn't right for doing the things I did,"

You knew what he was talking about, or at least the obvious one out of the bunch. That night at his place where you were tipsy and he was holding you in his arms, you accidentally let out the secret you've been holding in: you loved him. As expected, it obviously strained the relationship as he insisted on it being nothing serious. You were stupid for thinking he would've reciprocated it, but all he did was leave you stranded on the empty space of heartbreak alone. 

"I'm sorry. I was an asshole, and I was an idiot for not realising how much you meant to me until you weren't there next to me. You carved a hole in my life and my heart was moulded for you," his gaze fell to the table, an audible draw of breath from him. 

Jay glanced up to lock his eyes with yours again, the twitch of his hand that was holding itself back from reaching over to you. "I'm not a religious man, Y/N, but every night I prayed for God to lead me back to you," he swallowed thickly, "I know I fucked up, that's why we stopped … everything. I deserved it, but I really want to fix everything,"

You opened your mouth to speak just to close it after a passing second. He said exactly what you wished for him to say, but why was it so hard grasping everything before you? Was it the shock? 

"I missed you, Jay," it was the truth, an angering truth that you held onto for ages. "I really did. I think about you a lot and the mistakes we made. I wish we could go back to the way we were. You're my best friend," you knew that word wasn't just what it was, it held something more than that. "And I just want you back,"

The softening of his gaze only exposed the vulnerability on your face. "Can we start again?" He said quietly, seemingly testing the waters. "As friends, and we'll go slow,"

"I'd like that," you nodded, never leaving his gaze. You didn't say it, neither did he, but you weren't putting away the chances of something more than just friends, an unspoken hope that you kept. Maybe this time, everything would turn out right. 

Before you parted ways with Jay and left for home, you shared a simple conversation in front of the cafe. Just like old times, the conversation flowed naturally as if time didn't separated the two of you in the first place. 

"Can I hug you?" 

For the first time in many months, you felt the warmth and touch of Jay's that you missed. It was familiar, comforting, a band aid that covered the crack on your heart. This was the first step to heal that broken heart of yours. Closure. It was for the better. 

The rest of your day was only filled with thoughts of him, till the point where it had you lying in bed, awake and turning, wondering about the fate of you and him. A second chance was about to make or break everything.

The next time you saw Jay again was at a party his frat brother held. 

Ever since that day at the cafe, you didn't stop texting Jay. You realised at one point that you had fallen back into your old self once more. Giggling at his messages, anticipating his notifications, calling him at odd hours. All of which didn't go unnoticed by you, and you wondered if you should be horrified or nonchalant. Given that you and him were on better, speaking terms now, you brushed it off as nothing.

"Well, isn't it my favourite girl," Jay had his arms wide open the moment he approached you, that smile of his glowing from a distance away. 

You smiled back, you always did anyway, letting him embrace you into his arms. "You smell like beer," you scrunch your nose up in distaste, pushing yourself off of him, but your arms around his shoulders remain.

"But I'm sober," he casted a wink at you, ignoring your eye roll as he took your arm from your shoulder and slid his fingers into your hand. "Come on, the guys are over there,"

To think about explaining this to the rest of your friends was going to be interesting to say the least. They already knew from your continuous text screaming for bloody help, but for them to witness it in person? You couldn't help but wish to cower into a corner out of embarrassment.

Heeseung was the first to raise a discreet eyebrow at you when you approached, hands intertwined with Jay, the same guy you swore you cut contacts with. That's a lie, apparently. Jake and Sunghoon seemed impassive, but you could tell from their several exchanges of glances, they thought the same as Heeseung did. However, both you and Jay were their friends, and no matter how messy it was, they were just the people stuck in between.

Jay eventually excused himself from the conversation to get more drinks for himself. You had a feeling he was about to be drunk by the end of the night no matter how he denied that. You knew his patterns through and through. Once he was out of ear shot, the boys turned to stare at you accusingly.

"Did you guys kiss?" Jake was the first to be blunt. The other two were eager to know the truth as well.

You practically jumped in your seat, as if a bullet had shot through your chest. In that way, his zero filtered question had that effect. "What? No! We agreed on being just friends,"

"For now," Heeseung chimed in.

"What?"

"You were literally holding hands with him," 

"It's platonic,"

"Considering your past with him, I think that's the last thing you can claim as platonic when it comes to Jay," Heeseung quipped back, making a valid point that you chose to ignore.

"Whatever. We're currently friends and we're not rushing into anything. We don't want to ruin it," you rubbed your arm uneasily, the thought of your past recurring saddened you. 

"Then when are you going to actually get together?" Sunghoon asked, sounding rather exasperated as though he's the one in your position. At one point, you wished you could trade places. 

"Ask him that," you leaned your head onto Jake's shoulder for emotional support, the question from Sunghoon was a second bullet to your heart. You had been the one sending signals from the start, but when it came to Jay reciprocating it, it was rather bleak.

"You're still hung over him? It never … went away?" Heeseung leaned his body closer, increasingly immersed into the conversation deeper.

"How could it go away when I've always been in love with him?"

The words stuck to you throughout the night. The truth and reality of you loving a man that threw everything away was a burden you carried. The egging thought of wondering if Jay even reciprocated the feelings after a year crept into your head. He didn't reach out to reconnect for nothing, did he?

Just as you've guessed, Jay was truly drunk out of his mind by the time the party was ending. Your friends were trying their best to haul Jay into his apartment while you trailed behind, wishing you were more of help than this. Jay was eventually dumped onto his bed, slurring out random sentences that made zero sense to you.

"Do you need me to drop you back? I didn't drink," Heeseung turned to you first once all of you stepped out of Jay's room. 

"I'll be fine. I didn't drink much, so I think I can drive myself back. I also want to stay a while more to make sure he's fine," you took a glance back at the open bedroom door, seeing Jay still awake and turning uncomfortably. 

"Will you be okay? I mean, you just started talking again, I don't want you to be uncomfortable," Heeseung placed an assuring hand on your shoulder, concern filled eyes boring into yours. You hadn't even thought about this before, the emotions you had whenever with Jay. 

You smiled at your friend. "It's Jay. I will never feel that way about him,"

Heeseung reciprocated your smile, seemingly more relieved. "I know."

Your friends soon left, the loud sounds of their drunken chatters faded into the night, leaving you in a deafening silence. A deep intake of breath was what helped you regain your confidence back to finally step into Jay's room, facing a dazed looking Jay who was sitting on the edge of his bed. He seemed a tad bit more sober from the multiple cups of water he had drunk. 

"Are you alright?" You took a few steps forward, holding onto the doorframe.

He glanced up, the dim light provided by his desk lamp illuminated his face, the sharpness of his features contrasted the tears he had swimming in his eyes. It was unmistakable, but it weighed you down onto the ground, not knowing if you should be taking another step. 

"Jay?" You called out cautiously, swallowing thickly. A quiet sob broke the short silence which followed, the glistening tears made their way down his cheeks. It was your first time seeing him as vulnerable as this.

You got to his side, knelt on the ground, trying to search for his gaze which persisted to run away from yours. He tried hiding his face behind his hands, but you were quick to stop him, holding onto them tightly. It was then he was forced to finally meet your eyes. 

"I'm sorry," you heard his weak voice utter out, his hand that you held onto gripped yours. "I'm sorry," he whispered tearfully.

It was your first time witnessing him this broken, crying nonstop and leaving his emotions out on display. For the first time in ages, you couldn't properly read him like you've always done. Was it your fault for making him feel this way? Was there nothing but pain in this so-called relationship you and him shared?

"I miss you," it was a confession, a painful sounding confession that he's held onto for a long time, the look in his eyes told you he meant it, but there was something else that he had: grief. "I'm sorry,"

You didn't know how long it was that you stared at him for, the thoughts in your mind had been long gone, the shell of your body remained. His words and the emotions behind them were heavier than you anticipated, it hit you hard and rough. You sighed, lowering your head for a second. "You should get some sleep, Jay. It's late and you're buzzed. I'll talk to you in the morning,"

Jay was silent. You could tell there was a hint of disappointment from him that you wished you weren't the cause of it. You got up to your feet, staring at the top of his head as he fought to avoid your eyes. So be it. As you turned to leave, you felt a hand around your wrist, pulling you to a stop.

"Will you stay?"

You've heard this one too many times. Yet, you were always a victim to it. Unlike most times, you knew this was different, letting your heart guide you to him instead of your head. It might've been foolish, but you were willing to be a fool that was persistently in love just for him.

"I'll stay."

That night, you barely slept as he laid in your lap, sound asleep. Your fingers traced the sharpness of his features, smoothing over the softness of them. You wondered to yourself whether reconnecting was a good idea in the first place if this odd feeling of yours kept cutting deep into your heart every time you're with Jay. 

You would never wish to leave him once more, but did he feel the same as you do? Or will he be the first to let you go again? 

Maybe, just this once, you'd have to be the first to let go, even if it's a small step, it was something better than nothing.

With one last apologetic look at Jay, you closed his bedroom door and left his home with a heavier heart than usual. By the time morning comes, you hoped both yours and his memories from the night before would be a fever dream. Something so intimate and vulnerable, how were you to forget quickly? Even as you drifted off to sleep in your bed, you could still remember the tears on Jay's face, it being the last thing you remember before waking up to your doorbell ringing.

It was as if your thoughts had manifested Jay to show up at your doorstep. He wasn't a figment of your imagination, but actual flesh and bones. No matter how you rubbed your eyes trying to get yourself to be more awake, he wasn't disappearing away from view. He was real. 

"Can we talk?" 

Those three words immediately brought dread for you. Jay's face was impassive, but it was evident that he was tired, restless. You nodded, moving away to let him in. It was easy for you to let him in, whether it was your home or your heart, you've always kept a space for him.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about?" You stepped closer to him, seeing as he hadn't taken a seat and feeling something odd shift in the air.

"Us, Y/N, us," Jay breathed out, strained and hoarse, as if saying that word had pained him deeply. "I don't like this, I hate it. The 'us' that we are now,"

"What?"

"We can't keep continuing on like this. We can't keep pretending everything's fine when it's not,"

It was too early for this, too early for you to be feeling burning internal rage. "Are you kidding? So what are you going to do? Leave me alone again? Go no contact with me again just because you don't want to face me again?"

"No!" Jay took a step closer to you, eyes blazing with equal fiery as yours. "I'm not ending things again, never. I can't lose you this time," his voice wavered, his hand reaching for yours and you let him hold your hand. Was that your first mistake? "I'm in love with you,"

You wished those words hadn't left his lips. For ages, you thought him confessing his true feelings would've fixed things, fixed you and him both, but at that moment, you realised it wasn't that easy, the cracks on your heart remained. 

"I know when you look at me, you see everything that went wrong, but when I look at you, I see the person I'm in love with," every word pierced your heart deeper, the desperation in his voice was clear, a saddening tragedy was imminent. 

"You don't get to do this," you whispered, backing away from him and freeing your hand from his hold. The hurt that flashed across his eyes didn't go unnoticed by you. "You don't get to tell me you're in love with me out of nowhere after we stop talking. It's not fair,"

"Am I … too late?" His voice was quiet, in the midst of the hurt was a pinch of hope. 

"You're not," you didn't want to lie, you knew your feelings were the same and unchanged, but you just weren't ready to cave in and accept his feelings that fast. It wasn't fair. "Time. That's what we need to start afresh,"

Jay nodded, jaw clenched, face stoic. There was no denying that he was hurt, he didn't hide it anyway. "I'll make it right. I'll fix us."

Was it possible to mend everything?

Attending a party to get drunk was probably the worst idea you had in a while. 

The thoughts of you and Jay haunted you like a sickening plague, the conversation you had with him was constantly eating you up from the inside. You were pushing him away, you knew so, you were becoming like him in some ways. How ironic it was. 

That was why the moment Julie invited you to her boyfriend's house party, you knew you had to have some type of getaway, though it wasn't the most ideal. The only problem you didn't appreciate her not telling you earlier was the person you wanted to avoid most was standing with the rest of your friends in a corner playing pool.

"Look, I didn't know they were coming," Julie defended herself, leaning her body close to your side. "What's up with you and Jay anyway?"

"It's complicated,"

Julie sighed, shaking her head. "Of course it is, but how blind and dumb could you both be?"

"Hey!"

"It's obvious you like him and he likes you, why can't you guys just—I don't know—get together?" 

"It's not that easy, I wish it was. I think we're both hurt, or I'm the coward this time. We … talked, he finally said he loves me, but I can't accept it just yet,"

"Why not?"

"I gave my heart to him, Julie. For years I willingly gave my heart to a man that constantly blocked me from his heart, which was why we ended things. Only then he realised his true feelings and right now he's asking for my heart back. I just don't think it's fair," your eyes dropped to the carpeted ground, gripping onto your plastic cup tightly.

"Then would you rather regret it?"

"Huh?"

"Would you regret after pushing him away and never becoming something you've always wished to be? Constantly think about the what-ifs? I know I'm not in the right to say anything since I'm not you, but the only thing I wish to say is to go with your heart," she placed a hand on your shoulder. "If your heart yearns for him, it'll always stay that way."

Why couldn't you stop your heart from yearning for Jay? It was as if Julie had read you like a book, even in those times where you and him stopped contacting one another, you never once forgot about him. It was true, your heart was yearning for him. 

Meeting new people that were introduced by Julie and her boyfriend momentarily took your mind off Jay. Their friends were people you probably wouldn't meet again, so you didn't mind when you were left alone with one of them. 

"You come by here often?" Juyeon, one of the guys, was by your side like a leech instead of being a good company. His presence was screaming red blaring signals to you.

"Not much," you chuckled awkwardly, wondering when Julie would return with the rest of her friends.

"Can I take you out some time?" Wow, he sure knew how to cut to the chase. 

"What?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come by to my place after this?"

Oh, this was your sign to run, wasn't it? "I—well, I have someone to meet—"

"Come on, give me a chance—" he grabbed onto your hand right before you could successfully leave, this was when you remind yourself never to get involved with frat boys.

"Sorry—" you didn't have the chance to finish your sentence when your hand was forcefully ripped away from his hold, another familiar feeling of someone's hand on yours instead. You turned just in time to see Jay standing beside you, visibly fuming.

"Leave her alone, man," he placed himself in front of you, shielding you away from Juyeon. 

"Look, I'm just trying to invite her over. You know what, she's nothing special anyway—" the sound of Jay's fist clashing into Jueyon's jaw stopped him from continuing on. You were too shocked to comprehend everything happening before you, even as Jay lunged onto the man, you could do nothing but stare. 

"Jay!" The shouts of his name clicked in your mind, breaking you out of your shell-shocked state. Every one of your friends rushed to get Jay off of Juyeon who ended up scrambling away, leaving a crowd of onlookers. 

He was hesitant to turn around and look at you, you could tell so from his stiff shoulders, but you stayed hoping to see his face. You reached your hand out shakily to touch his shoulder, yet, before you could actually do so, he turned around, eyes avoiding to meet yours.

"Jay—" 

There he went brushing past you, not a single word spoken from him. The slamming of the front door snapped you out of the hurtful daze you were in to follow him out of the house. He was standing on the pavement, unmoving. You approached him carefully, scared and paranoid of executing a wrong move.

"Jay," you walked to stand before him, feeling a tinge of hurt when he took a step back away from you. "Jay," you repeated his name, this time with a bit more desperation. "Why did you do that?" There was no answer, only a sullen silence which blurred into the night. 

You shifted your attention to his fist, the forming of a bruise and some cracked skin decorated the fist he used to punch Juyeon. Your hand absentmindedly reached for his. "You're hurt," you were about to touch his hand when he pulled away, avoiding your hold, a look of hurt flashed across your features, but you tried to hide it.

"I can't let him talk to you like that," he whispered, looking anywhere but you. You wished to grab his shoulder and forcefully make him look at you. 

"Jay, it's okay,"

"It's not!" He snapped, finally having the nerves to meet your eyes. His change of tone shocked you, your feet took a step back unknowingly. "It's not okay. Not when I feel like I'm going insane thinking you're going to get yourself in danger,"

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't," Jay heaved a breath in, voice shaking slightly. "I should be the one to say sorry for acting this way. I'm sorry," 

"Jay—" 

"I'll see you around. Get home safe." You couldn't even reach him and he was already gone, leaving into the night. There was a twisting feeling in your heart that was unbearable. Was this the end of it all? 

You felt even worse walking back into the house when the rest of your friends asked you about Jay and his whereabouts. It was awkward staying there after what went down, so you ended up going back home too, throwing yourself in bed to forget everything that had happened. 

Jay, the fight, Juyeon, you wished those three things never happened that night. You wished you and Jay never happened at all. 

"You're just going to leave it at that?"

A bottle of alcohol late at night with the company of your friends without Jay was what you needed after a rollercoaster of a events. The amount of shots you've taken wasn't enough to blur the image of Jay's tear stained cheek or the hurt in his eyes when he told you he loved you, not even the time he avoided your touch. You wondered if love was meant to be this painful. If it was, why were you so adamant on it?

"I … don't know," you set the glass down, chewing the insides of your cheek. "It'll be too cliche and stupid to say it's complicated, right? I think I'm just hurting him. I still love him, but I can't let myself to do so. It's weird, him reconnecting after a year and suddenly telling me he's in love with me out of the blue. What does all that mean?"

Sunghoon let out a hiss from the shot he took in one go, then turned to you. "Jay might be a dumbass for realising his faults and feelings a little too late, but there's one thing I'm sure about him, and that is how much he cares for you and loves you. I remember after you guys cut contact, he had trouble sleeping for months. He said the thought of you leaving haunted him,"

"I know it's unfair to you how he's only realised his true feelings now," Heeseung interjected, pouring another round into your glass. "But I think you're just hurting yourself more by pushing him away, just like how he did to you. You love him, don't you? Don't repeat the same mistakes, you've wasted a whole year together, don't waste a lifetime regretting what could've been."

Two stubborn people walking in constant circles, that was you and Jay. Too scared to face your feelings, hurting not only the other but also yourself. 

Being absolutely emotional and pissed drunk only resulted in you crying your eyes out, which made your friends worried out of their minds till the point where they had to call the person who would know how to comfort you. However, they  failed to realise in time that the same person was the cause of your tears. 

"Where is she?" You heard his voice from a mile away, it was something you'd never forget. The others were slowly leaving your apartment after hoisting you to your bedroom. The process of which involved you sobbing and your drunk friends trying not to drop you. 

The thudding sound of footsteps filled the silence in your home. It stopped right at the doorstep to your bedroom, the hesitation was evident when he entered after several beats. You laid on your side, facing away from him. His approaching figure made your heart race, you felt the bed dip beneath you upon him taking a seat next to you. 

"You're awake, aren't you?"

You glanced up at him, the dimness of your room casted a shadow across his face, but he was still the most beautiful person you've seen. You slowly sat up, trying to move your body a distance away from him to make everything less surreal. The silence in the room was overwhelming, neither of you knew what to say first.

"Do you hate me?"

"What?" 

"I was the first to let go this time," you chuckled dryly, doing everything but meeting his eyes, maybe you were the coward all along.

Jay let out a breath of disbelief, shaking his head. "How could I ever hate you?" It was a question, it was his truth, his dying truth that he held onto with all his heart. He glanced down, staring at his hands, the bruises from the hard punches thrown were healing. "I shouldn't have lashed out on you that night. It wasn't right for me to do so,"

In the midst of your hazy mind, your brain functioned well enough to recollect the memories he mentioned. Oh, that night, that incident. "It's alright, I know you didn't mean it, you were trying to look out for me, I get it," you averted your gaze, letting yourself smile a little to lessen the tension. "I think I was just scared,"

"Of what?" 

"Of you leaving again," 

Jay's gaze softened in the darkness, his hand reaching out to hold yours and it was one of those times that you let him do so knowing how your heart felt like exploding. "I'm never leaving, nor do I hate you. I hate myself for pushing you away, for realising everything too late, for hurting you," he took a deep, yet shaky breath, "If anything, I love you,"

The drowsiness you were experiencing somehow disappeared in a blink of an eye, your mind blank, all you could hear in the back of your mind was those three words which Jay uttered. The air around you and him had shifted, the angry tension dissipated. 

You felt his hold on your hand tightening, just the same as your heart tightening at the sight of Jay's heartbroken smile. "I love you," it was a confession, something ever so freeing to finally be able to say to him knowing your true feelings were reciprocated. "I'm sorry for running away,"

Jay moved closer, his face now barely a few inches away. Everything was a blur, how his other hand travelled to cup your cheeks, his breath practically fanning your lips. "I should be the one to say sorry," those were his last words before pressing his lips on yours.

It wasn't your first time kissing him, but something about the kiss was unlike the times you've experienced.  Despite all those playful, lighthearted kisses you shared with Jay, you knew this was different. Jay was pouring his endless unspoken apologies and devotion, a mix of relief, sadness, longing were hidden behind it.

Even as you pulled away, you could feel the palpable longing between you and him. It was as if years of silent desperation, confusion and pining had melted into one, finally being addressed at that moment. Neither of you spoke a single word, just holding each other close, admiring one another. It was intimate, something you couldn't recreate with someone else. 

"I will never leave you," he whispered, his thumb stroking your cheek reassuringly. "You're a piece of me and my heart, you make me whole. I would be a fool to ever let you go again,"

You stared at him as if he was your entire universe, the effect of his every word carved a space into your heart. Eyes closing momentarily, you let yourself melt into his touch, smiling softly. "I trust you."

That was all Jay needed to hear before a small smile spread across his face. You could hear it in silence, see the look on his face and that spark he has in his brown irises, you knew what it was, he was in love.

That night, he stayed with you until morning came. You held onto one another tightly, as though scared that it was the last day to be together. Little words were exchanged, but you were content by him holding you close. 

For the first time in a while, you were able to fall asleep with no lingering thoughts, and for the first time ever, he was yours, and you were his.

Telling your friends you and Jay were finally together was a rollercoaster of emotions that you'd never forget. 

It has been months since you and your best friend officially got together. The reactions from people around you were nothing but relief and support after knowing how much hell you two went through. For once, you actually believed in the 'forever' that was promised.

You didn't question the sound of keys unlocking your front door. It has become a habit for Jay to stop by your place every evening, almost just like before and it felt as if everything was falling back into place. Every visit of his came with something he prepared to surprise you, which was why his cheeky grin gave it away.

He pressed a kiss on the top of your head before joining you on the sofa, the playful smile of his never once left. "I have a surprise,"

"Chocolate cake?"

"Okay, something not edible," 

"What is it?" You couldn't help smiling too, nudging your boyfriend in an attempt to get him to reveal his so-called surprise.

"Close your eyes,"

"Are you serious?"

"I'm serious. Come on, close them!" He was giggling, egging you on to go along with whatever he has up his sleeves. "Now, give me your hand," You complied. Not long after, you felt something cold and small making contact with the skin of your palm. "Open your eyes," 

You were first met with Jay's anticipating gaze, then you looked down, seeing a ring sitting on the palm of your hand. "A ring?" You were surprised, picking it up to look at it closely. It was beautiful, simple yet so intricate in detail, as if it was customised for you. 

"Don't worry, it's not an engagement ring, it's a promise ring. I know we did make a five year deal, but we're still taking it slow," he picked the ring from your hold and gently took your hand, slotting the ring into your ring finger. "Maybe in another five years time, I'll actually get to fulfil our pact and replace this with an engagement ring,"

This was the closest you've felt your heart exploding. Heat rushed to your face, heart beating nonstop, you were suddenly the person who's first developed a crush for Jay all over again. "Since when did you become so cheesy," you scoffed, a small smile rested on your lips.

"Only for you, duh," it wasn't a lie whatsoever, Jay never hid himself when it came to you. "Let's call some takeout and stay in,"

"Are you staying over tonight?"

"Only if your bed is open to let me in," he made himself comfortable next to you, throwing his arms around you to pull you closer to his side. 

"You know it always is."

Jay didn't say anything, but his smile was enough of a response. No matter if it's your bed, house or heart, you've always reserved a spot specially for him. He made up a part of you just the same as you were with him. He was your home and safe space. You were glad you made that stupid pact on one drunken night that led him back to you.

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

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[toomanystoriessolittletime]

A promise

Summary: You've been in love with General Marcus Acacius, your father's most trusted advisor and friend, ever since you could remember. A kiss on the day you come of age starts an affair that would last for years before you ask him to choose between having you officially as his or not having you at all. Days after, your father the Emperor dies, and the brother who hated you comes to power, wasting no time to make arrangements to marry you off to someone you had never met before, leaving you mourning about what could have been, when Marcus finds you with a surprising solution.

Pairing: General Marcus Acacius x fem. reader

Rating: E

Wordcount: 3.1k

Warnings: my take on the Dad's best friend trope, secret affair, age gap (not specified, but I wrote it with around 20 years in mind), death of a family member, toxic family situations (your siblings hate you), tears, feelings, smut (oral f receiving, unprotected sex), proposals, mentions of hair brushing, Marcus picks reader up but this is fiction so I pretend he could pick everyone up, FLUFF (do not look at me I have no idea what happened there), most likely historically inaccurate, banner as always just for the vibes, reader has no physical description apart from having hair (and if it has please let me know)

A/N: look at me, writing for a character we know almost nothing about. This is definitely not historically accurate, we're just here for the vibes. Tell me what you think cause posting for a new character makes me even more anxious than posting for old characters

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Full Masterlist // Marcus Acacius Masterlist

You had spend all your life being the perfect daughter to your loving father. 

You never complained, always having the greater good in mind. You did everything that had been asked of you, everything that was decided for you, because your father, may the gods bless his soul, the emperor of Rome had promised you that once the time came, you would be allowed to have a say in who would become your husband. 

You loved your father. 

You were the first born and his favourite. And he made sure that all your siblings knew that, leaving you with siblings, that were despising you all your life. 

But now your father was dead and his second born, your brother, had let you know not even a week after your father had been buried, that you were going to marry some Duke you had never met before, who had promised troops and gods knows what for the pleasure of getting to take you as a wife. 

When you dared to complain your brother had reminded you that you were a mere woman and should be thanking him on your knees for a suitable match, giving that he was the only one who had approached him because of you.

You did not even know how he had found the time for his search for a husband for you ever since he had been put on the throne only a week before. 

But deep down you knew, he had only been waiting for a chance to have his petty revenge of you.

Growing up, your brother never grew tired to remind you just how ugly he thought you were. How dumb you were. That the people only talked to you because you were the favourite of your father. 

He talked you down so often, you had started to believe it. 

You would probably be dead by now if it wasn’t for your Father’s most trusted advisor. 

The current general of the roman army. 

Marcus Acacius. 

Your father and him had grown up together. Fought and won wars together. 

And you?

You had the biggest crush on him since you could remember. 

He was just so strong and big and whenever he smiled you, you remembered getting this weird feeling in your belly. The older you got the more you thought about him, imagining how it would be to be with him. 

It was on the day you came of age, a big celebration held in your honour, that you drank a little too much wine and clumsily pressed your lips against his after he volunteered to get you to your room. 

You were mortified when he just looked at you, before turning away and hurrying away from your chambers. 

You didn’t know he would leave the next morning for war. 

You didn’t know that months after when he came back, the war won, celebrations held in his honour, that he would find you in your chambers and kiss you the way you had always dreamed of. 

You didn’t know that seven years later it was still you he chose to see first whenever he came back from a battle. Or… every time he could sneak away really. 

More than once you had asked him why you could not make it official. Acacius was a person of power. While maybe not holding any royal titles, he was the General of the roman armies. If he would have asked your father for your hand, you were sure he would have given his blessing. 

But he had argued against it, thinking it would most likely be seen as a betrayal of the emperor’s trust. 

It made you feel like a dirty little secret and was one of the reasons you had a big fight just days before your father died. 

You had not seen him since apart from the official events you both had to attend. 

After your brother had informed you that you were to be married within the next week so you were out of his palace you had excused yourself to your chambers, dismissing your staff to have some time for yourself. 

You fought back the tears until the doors closed behind your last maid. 

Sitting down on your bed you allowed yourself to cry. 

Cry for your father. 

Cry for Acacius.

Cry for yourself and your future. 

You did not know who this man you had been set to marry was, but it did not matter. 

Of course you were well over the age of getting married, you knew that. But your father did not care. He only cared about your happiness. 

And now here you were, about to marry a stranger, while being in love with someone else. 

Letting your tears fall freely you jumped when your door opened, hastily brushing the tears away when you noticed Marcus as he closed the door behind him. 

„Forgive me for not knocking but I had to see…. What happened?“ He asked, quickly walking towards you. He knelt down in front of you, taking your hands. 

You hadn’t been alone with him since before your father died, when you told him that you were tired of being with him in secret. That you wanted to be his officially. To love him. To marry him. To have his children. 

It may have been childish, giving him an ultimatum to choose to be with or without you, but you were tired of hiding. 

What happened in the days after was a blur. 

And now he was here, his concerned warm eyes looking all over you as if to search for what made you cry. 

„Did somebody hurt you?“ He asked again and you sobbed, leaning down so you could hug him, bringing your face close to his neck, so you could inhale his familiar scent. 

Within seconds his arms were around you and he picked your up before he sat down on your bed with you sitting sideways in his lap. His hand brushing softly over your hair. You had one hand on his shoulder, your other hand wrapped behind his back holding onto his waist, while one of his arms held you securely against him, his other hand softly stroking your hair. 

You felt him kiss the top of your head and you closed your eyes. 

You allowed yourself to relax, melting against him, any arguments you had forgotten. 

Because he was here, and even though you hadn’t parted in the best ways, there was no place in this world were you felt safer than in his arms. 

„I am to be married within the next week,“ you mumbled against his neck and you felt him tense. 

„I learned about it today. My brother did not lose any time to get me out of his sight,“ you joked weakly before you looked up at him. 

You only noticed now hat his hair was still damp. He must have come directly from the baths, wearing only a linen garment. 

Carefully you brought one of your hands up, your fingers resting on his cheek. 

The candle light made him appear like he was glowing and you wondered how you would live without ever having him this close again. 

„He cannot marry you off to whomever he chooses,“ he said and you chuckled weakly. 

„He is the Emperor now. I am afraid that he can do almost everything he sets his mind on.“

He shook his head.

„He can not,“ he said, his grip around you tightening.

„Acacius…“ you began but he shook his head. 

„Do not call me that. Not you,“ he whispered and your eyes softened. 

„Marcus. You must have known that this day would come sooner or later,“ you brushed your fingers through his soft beard. He leaned into your touch. Smiling softly you rested your head back against his shoulder, letting him hold you for a while. 

This was what you would miss most. Just him holding you, giving you comfort. 

„The day before your father died,“ he began after a while, his fingers brushing up and down your spine, „I talked to him about taking a wife,“ he continued. 

You closed your eyes, releasing a long breath. 

„He was actually happy. To be honest he had been asking me for a while if I need any help finding a suitable wife, but I never took his offer for help because I knew who I wanted to marry from the moment you kissed me first,“ he admitted. 

You softly pressed your lips against his neck and you felt it as he took a deep breath. 

„So I told him that I had someone for a while I could see myself spending the rest of my days with. I told him that I was in love and that I would die to protect her. And when he asked when he could meet this incredible woman I told him that he already has, since she was you,“ you looked up at him then, surprised that he had talked to your father. 

„You told him?“ You asked, voice quiet. He nodded. 

„You know what he said? He said that he could not ask for a better man to take care of his daughter,“ Marcus said and you closed your eyes, letting your head fall against his shoulder. 

„But two days later he was dead and your brother had been named the new Emperor. Your father had meant to talk to you, but everything happened so quickly,“ he took a deep breath. 

„Thankfully I did ask for your hand before he died and he agreed as long as you would say yes.“

„Marcus,“ you shook your head, new tears in your eyes. You felt his fingers tilt your chin up. 

„I haven’t come to talk to you earlier, because I knew your brother would plan something like he did. I had to make sure he could not succeed in taking you away from me. Because you’re mine,“ he said with a small smirk. 

„And I protect what is mine,“ he hummed and you gulped, shuddering as his eyes seemed to darken. 

„But before I can protect you the way I intend to, we have to be wed,“ his thumb brushed over your lip. 

„But how? Knowing my brother he is going to announce my engagement within the next days and has me shipped off by the end of the week,“ you said concerned. 

„That would be inconvenient, because our engagement, signed with blessings by the former Emperor, your father, will be released by the morning, with us to be wed within the next three days,“ he said and you were sure you stopped breathing for a moment as he looked at you. 

„Truly?“ You whispered and he nodded. 

Before he could say anything further you threw your arms around him, making him fall back against your bed with you above him, kissing him deeply. You felt him smile against your lips as he pulled you even closer, his hands running down your body, his fingers slipping under your dress. 

Parting from his lips you looked down at him. 

„I thought you left me,“ you whispered and he shook his head. 

„Never,“ he vowed, meeting your lips in a sweet kiss. 

„Then I think you have to ask me a question, General,“ you smiled cheekily and he grinned. 

„Will you do me the honour of being my wife?“ He asked as his hands came to rest on your ass. 

„Usually the man gets on his knees to ask his intended, does he not?“ You teased and he hummed thoughtfully, before he rolled you over so he was on top, kissing your forehead. 

„You are right as always, my love. I shall get on my knees to ask you for your hand,“ he winked before he slowly slipped down your body, his lips kissing a line down your body. Parting your legs wider to make space for him you looked down just as he pulled at the sting of your dress, his fingers parting the fabric so it fell to the side, revealing your naked body to him. 

He kissed your knee and goosebumps spread over your body like wild fire. 

You sat yourself up, leaning on your elbows so you could see him properly. 

His nose brushed up your inner thigh as he settled down between your legs, his breath brushing over you wet cunt as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. 

„I will promise to love you,“ he hummed, his lips pressing against the skin just above your pussy. 

„To cherish you,“ he continued, slowly kissing himself down and you sucked your bottom lip in. 

„To protect you,“ his tongue licked a strip from bottom to top. 

„Until the day I die,“ he hummed before he sucked your clit between his lips. You felt his tongue move over your clit and you moaned softly while his eyes were focused on yours. One of his hands came up to grab one of your tits, massaging it. 

„I will give you everything you want,“ he said as he released your clit only to lick down towards you hole. 

„When you want,“ he licked again. 

„How often you want,“ he winked at you before his tongue entered you, making you moan out his name softly, one of your hands coming down to rest in his soft hair. He hummed against you, his tongue getting you closer and closer to the edge, his fingers pinching your nipple. 

Marcus then focused his attention on your clit, his tongue playing with it while two of his fingers slowly entered you, angling them just the way he knew had you singing his name. 

„Marcus, please,“ you moaned, your head falling back. 

„Cum for me, my love,“ he hummed, flicking his tongue over your clit while his fingers massaged your inner walls and you shattered, your back arching before you let yourself fall back against the mattress, your body shaking with an orgasm so intense you saw stars. 

Melting into the mattress as you tried to calm your racing heart, you smiled when you felt Marcus kiss your hip. 

After a moment you opened your eyes and looked down at him. 

„You still haven’t dropped to your knees or asked a question, General,“ you reminded him and he hummed thoughtfully before he pushed himself up, kneeling between your legs. He pulled his clothing down, leaving him completely naked as he gazed down at you, his eyes dark and his cock hard and leaking. 

His fingers wrapped around his cock, slowly pumping his length. 

Your tongue dared out, wetting your lips, saliva filling your mouth. 

You wanted a taste and judging by his smirk he knew it. 

„I am kneeling,“ he said with a wink. 

„I can see that,“ you sassed and he chuckled, before he released the grip on his cock and lowered his body over yours. You wrapped one of your legs behind him, your feet brushing up and down his leg, as he settled between your legs his cock notching at your hole. 

You smiled up at him as he looked at you, his strong arms resting next to your head to hold himself up. 

„I never thought I would love anyone as much as I love you. You make everything lighter, easier. I want to live my life with you by my side to make it better,“ he rubbed his nose over yours and you could feel tears in the corner of your eyes as you wrapped your arms behind his broad back. 

„Marry me, my love,“ he whispered before he slowly slipped inside of you, his cock filling you every thick inch. 

„Make me the happiest and proudest man in Rome,“ he whispered when his cock had filled you completely. You found his lips in a sweet kiss as he began to move, slowly fucking into you. 

„Marry me,“ he whispered with his lips against yours as he moved faster, his hips meeting yours with an audible smack every time his cock filled you. 

„Let me fill you with as many children as you’re willing to give me,“ he groaned against your ear while you moaned, his body moving over yours with every thrust into you. Your walls clenched his cock inside of you, making him groan. Arching your back against his chest you began to meet his thrusts, your fingers digging into the warm skin on his back.

„As many as I want?“ You asked and he nodded and you made sure to keep your leg wrapped around him, making it clear that you would not let him pull out of you today. 

„Marry me,“ he moaned his forehead coming to rest against yours as your lips parted with a long moan as you came on his cock, your eyes only closing for a moment before you opened them just in time to see his eyes when you gasped a

„Yes“

To his question, his cock almost immediately twitching inside of you as he came and filled you with his seed for the first time.

He stayed like that for a moment before he kissed you and rolled you around so you were resting on top of him. 

He softened inside of you, your joined release dripping into the sheets but you could not bring yourself to care. You leaned with your arm on his chest, looking up at him with bright eyes. 

„What if I had said no?“ You asked with a small smile. 

„Then I would have spend more time convincing you to say yes,“ he smiled, his fingers brushing over your naked shoulder. You pressed your lips against his strong chest. 

You knew that once word got out about your engagement, Rome would not be safe for you anymore, no matter how much influence he had with his post. 

Your brother would find a way to have his way. 

There was only one way for a chance of the happy life you both imagined. 

„If I asked you to leave Rome with me to start a new life somewhere else, what would you say?“ You asked him. 

„I would ask when you want to leave,“ he smiled before he leaned down to kiss you.