#SORRY. FELT WORTH MENTIONING HERE. REALLY FUNNY

[braveburned]

oh yeah! had a girl ask me out while I was telling her about the fnaf lore

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.9 words you've been wanting to hear

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)

ᰔ chapter. 9/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 15.6k (WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING LONGER)

a/n. HELLO MY DEAR KICKOFF READERS IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH i am soooo sorry for the wait on this one. this chapter felt very vulnerable to write for some reason lmfao, but i really hope it was worth the wait :''') see you at the bottom!! if there are typos or some things don't make sense i'm so sorry i literally gave up on proofreading this i just ended up raw-doggin it and then posting it

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

an additional author's note. hellooo ellie here. there are some additional warnings/tags for this chapter, i added them to the tags above, so if you know you have any sort of triggers, please refer to them before reading! but if you don't have any and don't want to be spoiled ab anything then you can keep reading lol. thank youu <33

--

The restaurant address that Kai sent you was just a ten minute taxi ride away, save for the five minutes you spent trying to evasively maneuver through the hotel lobby in order to avoid running into people you’re not too keen on seeing right now, a list that stacks up to just one person at this moment.

It’s a Korean barbecue place, it’s been ages since you’ve been to one, probably since they’re way too expensive for any sort of outing you could afford these days, but the crisp sizzling sounds of the grills and the savory air has your mouth watering in a way that makes you indifferent to the cost. Anything to get this churning feeling out of your stomach. 

It’s instantly brought to your attention that Hana’s tipsy off of Soju because she’s slid out of the booth the second you emerge to the tablestide, and she’s onto her feet to pull you into a hug. You hug her back.

“I’m ssssoooooooo glad you’re—hic—here,” she says, voice sounding loud near your ear, but her embrace is surprisingly calming to you.

Her face appears flushed when you pull away, and you give her a smile and a kind hold of her elbow. “I’m happy to be here, sorry for coming late, I just decided I wanted to have dinner with you all.”

Minato is pulling on Hana’s arm to get her to sit down, which she finally agrees to, and you glance to the left side of the table where Kai sat, meticulously turning over pieces of meat on the grill. His eyes are on you, and the seat next to him is empty.

“You look nice,” he says, eyes falling to your lap under the table once you’ve taken a seat next to him.

Your eyes fall to your lap as well. “Oh. Thanks. I wasn’t really trying to look any sort of way, though.” Just faded jeans with a few rips & holes you made yourself, way back in high school when that sort of thing was trendy.

“I know,” he says, smirk heard perfectly through his words, “I like that.”

You ignore him, a fleeting thought passing through your head of how annoyingly forward men are to women they’ve met within a day, just something you’ve noticed recently, and then you’re accepting the glass of Soju that Minato’s poured for you. Quick to tip it back, you feel a burn on your tongue that’s just enough to distract.

“Today’s game was pretty interesting,” Minato speaks up, picking up a few pieces off the grill with his chop sticks and placing them on Hana’s plate first before taking some for himself. You find the gesture sweet. “The first half was intense.”

Hana nods enthusiastically, elbows rested on the tabletop as she waves her hands around in the air. “Uh huh, uh huh, the boys kicked the ball like whoosh. Goes all over the place! Can’t get a—hic—can’t get a single shot. No, I mean me, I can’t get a camera shot. Not them, they can get the shots of goals. The goals of shots? Huh.”

“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Minato grumbles as he drags the glass of Soju that she was nursing away from her. 

Kai lets out a laugh beside you, his knee bumping against yours under the table. “I’ve watched so many of these soccer games for this job, and I’ve still got no damn clue what the rules are.”

You blink down at your empty plate for a second before grabbing the silver chopsticks laid neatly on your napkin, and taking some food from the center of the table. “Really? I’ve only been to a couple, and I feel like I get the gist of it.” Maybe it’s because you had a personal interest, though.

Kai lets out a low whistle next to you. “Okay, you’re a smartass then.”

You give him a sidewards glance. “Maybe you’re just dumb?” 

Your own words startle you a bit. Minato lets a laugh out, but under his breath, while Hana does absolutely nothing to conceal hers. Kai’s eyes just widen. You bite down on a carrot stick.

“Hey, hey, hey, y/n,” Hana chirps, tapping at your wrist, “do you know any of the soccer players? Utahime said you doooo.”

You swallow slowly to buy yourself time, but give a preliminary shake of your head before answering, “no, not really.” You catch a whiff of the cologne on your wrist when you lift your glass to your lips.

“Oh,” she sulks her shoulders and then sinks down into the booth again, her head falling onto Minato’s shoulder. The man stiffens a bit and then there’s a content smile playing at his lips. A hint of a smile develops on your face too at the sight when you put two and two together. What an adorable little crush. It makes you feel sick.

Kai pours you some more Soju the second you drink down the last of it in your glass, and you nod to him as a thanks. “Pretty sure most of my photos from the first half are fucked,” he says, dragging the opening of the bottle against the rim of your glass before pulling it away, “didn’t realize until way later that my aperture was way off.”

You bring the glass to your lips, inhaling before taking a sip. You’re about to speak up about that when Minato beats you to it.

“Are you serious?” he asks, disappointed, like they’re suddenly talking business now. “I better see some good shots. Your side was where most of the action took place. Like that through-pass, tight behind the defensive line, from Nanami Kento to Gojo Satoru before he sunk it a couple mins before the half ended.”

You choke a little on your Soju at the mention of Gojo’s name, and then all three of them are looking at you. You wave a hand in front of your face. “Sorry.” 

Kai grumbles something under his breath and then stuffs a piece of pork belly into his mouth. “Yeah, whatever, man. I’m pretty sure I got some good ones. Don’t worry.”

Dinner goes on like that, where you count the number of times Kai thinks that someone saying something funny across the table is an excuse to press his thigh against yours, but at least the cute way that Hana and Minato seem to inch closer to one another all night is enough to put you at some sort of bitter ease. But that unsettling feeling in your stomach from a couple of hours ago still lingers.

The four of you stand outside the restaurant, heels rocking back and forth in the cold as you all take up the last chance to debrief the day, and then Minato’s glancing at his watch.

“Alright, it’s probably time to head back. We can all share a ride to the hotel, it’s cheaper that way,” Minato says. Hana’s clinging to his sleeve.

“Oh, uh, I was going to stay here. There’s a cool camera shop around the corner. I was gonna check it out,” Kai says, pointing over his shoulder before glancing at you. “Wanna come? I saw they’ve got used film cameras.”

You twiddle with the hotel key card in your pocket. It’s cheap plastic, could break easily with just the right amount of pressure. Like your resolve right now. “Sure.”

He smiles at you.

“Alright, well I need to get this one back to her room,” Minato says with a sigh, pointing to Hana, “so I’ll see you all at the next game?”

You and Kai nod at him and then watch as he walks away with Hana on his arm towards the curb, pulling his phone out to call for a ride.

“Where’s this camera shop at?” you ask Kai once the silence between the two of you stretches out a little too long. 

“It really is just around the corner,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He starts walking down the row of miscellaneous shops and establishments under dim street lighting, and you follow after him before the two of you circle to the adjacent end. A tiny shop in the distance catches your eye. The LED sign above the storefront was blinking sporadically, and read 17th St Camera & Rentals, except half the letters were extinct of any light. Next to it was a 24/7 liquor store.

It’s only when you walk right up to it that you realize the sign dangling behind the glass door that says closed.

“Oh. Bummer,” Kai comments in a flat tone. “I swear it was open before I got to the restaurant.”

You sigh, pulling your phone out to glance at the time. “Yeah, at 8pm? It’s past 10 now.”

He looks at you and taps the camera case still hung at his neck. “That’s fine. I’ve still got a camera to show you, anyways.”

You blink your eyes at him, suddenly feeling a bit exhausted and then glance over your shoulder at the curb of the street to see if Minato & Hana were still there waiting for a ride. You don’t see them anymore. 

A distraction. Wasn’t that what you wanted?

“Yeah, show me.”

Kai seems to know the area better than you, since he walks down the haphazardly lain sheets of concrete across the ground with more confidence than a tourist would. The thought occurs to you that maybe the newsletter photographers have eaten here before during their time in Kyoto.

“What made you start working with the newsletter?” you ask, glancing at him as the two of you walk down further, into what seems like a neighborhood.

He shrugs. “First job I could find out of college. I had a lot of freelance experience, so I’m assuming that’s why they hired me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow. “What about you?”

“I’ve known Utahime for a while. She was impressed with my work.”

“Ahh, connections,” he muses, “smart. That’ll get you far as an artist.”

He suddenly stops walking and peers off to the right, into a darkness that you can’t really make anything out of until you’ve spent a few seconds staring too. He walks in that direction, the loud echoing stomps of his boots on concrete no longer audible once he crosses the threshold onto grass, and you follow behind to what seems like a deserted children’s park. You wish there were more trees in the city. There are a lot here in the countryside, and it makes you homesick for something you’re not even sure of.

A gust of wind brushes through, rattling the set of swings hung on rusty chains. The wood chips underneath your feet feel stale, with no snap to them at all as you follow Kai through the playhouses set up in connected fashion. There are two picnic benches, one looks like it’s been freshly painted with faux effort to improve its image in the line of sight of the street, while the other has red paint peeled back to reveal bronze underneath the moonlight, neglected and tucked behind a few trees. The latter is what he chooses.

He slides into the bench, and he shakes his head when he sees you try to take a seat on the other side before patting at the seat beside him. “It’d be easier for you to take a look at my side.”

He has a point, so you sit next to him instead. Although at this point in the night, you were feigning interest. He zips his camera bag open and you take a better look at the lens. There’s no way it was as cheap as he told you it was.

“There’s no way this was as cheap as you told me it was,” you say.

He laughs, pulling the camera out and handing it to you. “Yeah, maybe the guy cut me a deal since I’ve bought from him before.”

You’re smart enough to put the strap around your neck, even though you’re only holding it a few inches above the table, because a camera like this deserves the care and respect. The material is minimalist and sleek, and it’s heavy in your hands. You click the shutter button, screen coming to life with a few mechanic chirps. “Woah. Is it LCD or OLED?”

“LCD.”

“That’s nice,” you say, “paying for the OLED just seems silly to me.”

“I concur, Canon. Color accuracy is king.”

He shuffles to pull something out of his pocket while you continue to inspect the camera in your hands, and you see him fidget with said thing over the table in the corner of your eye. The flick of something and the light of something makes you turn your head to face him, and he’s pinching the end of a joint to his mouth, lighting the other end.

He gives you a glance when you stare for too long, inhaling from it before pulling it from his mouth. “What?” You can see the smoke leave his mouth in the chill of the air.

“Is that why you chose the secluded bench?”

“I did? Didn’t even notice.”

You blink at him, and he places his elbow on the table to lean closer to you. 

“Do you mind it?” he asks.

“No, not really.”

“Wanna smoke with me?” Two fingers pinching the origin of smoke tilt towards you. “This is my good weed, though, so, I charge by the drag.”

“That’s ridiculous, and no thanks. It doesn’t suit me.”

He lets out a laugh, releasing whatever tension he was building in your space, and the smell of weed is nauseating, but at least it's a new sensation to you.

“You’ve gotta be the only film major on the planet that doesn’t smoke weed. How do you manage?” he asks, the orange flicker of his joint being the only color you can distinctly see under the similarly flickering street lights. 

Your finger traces the rim of the camera lens and is careful to not smudge the glass. “I think I manage just fine.”

“Yeah. With delusion,” he says, coughing, scattering smoke into the air this time instead of a clean blow.

You turn a bit in your seat to face him more, placing the camera down. “You’re extremely blunt.”

His eyebrow raises in amusement and you close your eyes with annoyance at the pun. You brush it off.

“I mean, seriously, I get you’re probably just looking out for me, I guess. I appreciate that. But do you really think my dreams of becoming a filmmaker are that far-fetched?” you ask. There’s a crack to your voice at the end that you didn’t like.

He sighs, setting his wrist down on the table. There’s a long pause where he thinks about what to say. Probably the most you’ve seen him consider what words leave his mouth next. “I was in the same shoes as you, y/n. A couple years ago. I, too, had big dreams of making movies. I was going to apply to film grad school as well, although you’re shooting higher than I was at the time. There’s no way I would’ve gotten into UTokyo’s.” He tilts his head to the side a few times while looking straight off ahead. “I sent scripts in everywhere. To every fucking production company, creative agency, you name it. Never got a callback, not even once. While all my fellow grads were landing decent, respectable jobs.” He brings the joint to his mouth again, but he doesn’t inhale, just bitterly bites it. “I could’ve went on like that, but,” his brow furrows, “I’ve seen my peers torture themselves for years for those dreams of theirs. I swore I wouldn’t be one of them. Because they’re all delusional fucks.” He finally glances at you. “Are you one, too?”

Your shoulders drop a little and your lips purse. “I don’t know yet. It’s too early to say.” 

“It’s never too early to say, if the outcome is all the same,” he tells you. 

You consider his words for a moment. It’s the easy way out. You should consider yourself lucky. Everyone wants a reason, a sign, to turn away from the one thing they’re scared to think about. And here he was, giving that to you on a silver platter.

But if what you wanted was really all that fragile, then it means there’s nothing to show for any of it. For all the effort it took you to get here, and all the effort you’re still willing to give. 

“I’ll keep going until I fail,” you say, “or until I succeed.” It’s not really something you say for him, but for yourself.

He juts his bottom lip out and raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding his head, like he’s impressed by you. But his posture remains lax. “I mean, you’re working this job. You’ve got some sort of plan, at least. It’s not like I’m your parent to tell you what to do and what not to do.” He finally takes another drag, eyebrows pinching together at the same time his fingers pinch close to the burn of his joint to pull it away. “What’s that one saying? You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink.”

“Wow. You don’t sound a day older than sixty-five.”

He smirks at you. “You’ve got a lot of attitude, Canon. Where does it come from?”

You sink a little in your seat, turning away from him to look down at your hands that were still messing with the features of his camera. “My annoying feelings lately.”

“Feelings about what?”

You consider telling the truth. But you don’t. “My car is in repair and I’m not sure I can afford to pay for the bill, since things keep coming up with it.” It was the thing at the top of your mind at the moment though, for some reason, so partially truthful.

He laughs. “Yeah, cars have a way of doing that when you’re finally getting caught up on bills.”

“At what point does spontaneously picking up random, obscure jobs go from omg I’m so excited to have this opportunity to I just need the money?” you ask.

“You mean you’re not already at that point yet?” he says with a scoff. “Soon, then.”

You sigh.

“Y’know I used to work at this lousy cinema a few miles away from Central,” he tells you, hand tapping the table with a rhythm that makes no sense. “Busted my ass working minimum wage on night shifts because I thought I’d catch a big break in conversation with a director, as if Martin Fucking Scorcese would choose to host his opening night at a random Edwards in Tokyo.” His tapping on the table stops. “Tell me that isn’t pathetic as hell.”

“That’s pathetic as hell.”

“The things you’ll do for money,” he says with a sigh. He sounds detached, like it’s really just a message for you.

You lick your lips, skin feeling dry from the wind that occasionally brushes by, and when you glance at Kai again, there’s a grit to his jaw.

“Should’ve been born as one of those damn college athletes,” he grumbles, sucking in fast through the joint that was close to withering away. “Those fuckers don’t pay tuition.”

The harsh colors of the soccer team’s color-coded practice schedule on your phone are visible when you blink, as well as the exhaustion under Gojo’s eyes in the warm lighting of the hotel lobby earlier tonight. “They work hard.”

He looks at you. “I work hard, too.”

Your shoulders tense. “I’m sure.”

“You work hard as well.” Just to include you.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, you can’t tell me that it’s fair.”

Your mind wanders to some of the people you’ve met on that team, who have been nice to you. You think of Gojo, and the memory of him makes you wish you were with him right now. Despite everything.

“I guess it’s not fair,” is all you say, a tactic to diffuse the conversation, one that you’ve had to use twice with him today. The sound of the swing chains clinking together from the wind in the distance runs a chill down your spine.

You feel heavy in your chest, and you glance at the joint pinched in between Kai’s fingers. He’s not keeping an eye on it, so it’s easy to steal, and you bring it to your lips before sucking in. You instantly let out a few coughs. He’s looking at you with surprise. And you’re still in desperate need of that distraction you’ve been craving.

“How long does it take for it to kick in?” you ask, coughing again and pressing a hand to your chest.

“Super long when you can barely stomach a single drag.”

You try again. He watches you. You swear you feel a buzz this time, and you hand the joint back to him. You feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Good,” you tell him, “really good.”

“That’s gotta be placebo, Canon.”

“No, really,” you sigh it. Even if it was, maybe your mind was just blessing you with a single moment of reprieve. “I feel…really good,” you say with your head in a haze. “Best I’ve…” you don’t know why you have to blink back tears, “best I’ve felt this whole week.”

Kai’s silent next to you. You look over at him, and he’s got a scrutinizing expression on his face. His eyes are glazed. “You seeing anyone right now, Canon?”

It’s the savory question you know has been on the tip of his tongue. Ignorantly asked, as if you would’ve been sitting here with him right now in the dead of night if the answer was yes. 

“No.”

He’s leaning towards you, and you’re dazed and also sleepy. His face is close now, there’s an urge to giggle, which means there’s no way this is all just placebo, and when his lips dip towards yours, you’re conscious enough to push him away by a weakly fisted hand pressed to his collarbone.

“Oh. I. Um,” you stutter.

“What?” he asks, eyebrow raised, still close to you.

“No. No thanks.” Because it felt wrong. 

He fully pulls away from you, and runs a hand through his hair, a deep sigh leaving him. “Alright.”

You’re breathing faster now, surroundings feeling vague, like you’re in sweltering heat but the air only bites cold.

You stand up suddenly. “I…I want to go back.”

“Go back where?”

“To the hotel. To my room.” You pause. “I mean, by myself. Not with you. We can share a ride, though.”

He stands up too, hands reaching for you, gripping the straps of his camera still hung around your neck and he pulls it off to place it back into the case. You feel like you’ve lost favor with him somehow. “Okay. Sure.” 

“But not with you.” You felt the need to clarify again.

“I get it, Canon. It’s fine.”

—

“Maybe you just need to fuck him aggressively without mercy.”

“I beg your finest pardon?”

You’re sitting in a booth inside this streetside KFC with Mina sitting across the table, waving a fry around in the air, and with Nobara next to you as she tries to open a packet of ketchup with her teeth. The hangout the three of you have been hyping up all week, just to be sat in the same place you always go to. You were about to take a bite out of your sandwich, but you set it back down on your tray.

Mina points the fry at you and shrugs. “I’m saying. Maybe you’re having such a hard time getting over Gojo because you got so close to fucking him in that bathroom, but you didn’t, and now you’re in, like, this constant state of edging.” She bites down on the fry. “The clit knows what the heart doesn’t.”

“Your theories never fail to amaze me,” you mumble, sinking further into the booth. 

“Perhaps it’ll take the edge off.” Mina sucks through the straw of her Diet coke. Nobara finally succeeds in opening her packet of ketchup.

“I doubt it. Besides, I technically already gave him an invitation to,” you say, fingers rubbing at your eye with a swipe as you wince from the memory, “and he rejected me, so, still swimming in the self hatred from that one.”

Mina hums. “There’s no way he’s not foaming at the mouth for it, y/n. Men never let a meal they were craving go unfinished,” she states, dramatically stabbing a chicken nugget with a fork.

“What kind of pigs do you guys associate yourselves with?” Nobara asks. She’s a lesbian, by the way.

“I raise another question. Why are we talking about this in a public restaurant?” you offer.

“Listen, babes,” Mina continues, like your words fall on deaf ears because she’s got some point to make, “it’ll either poof. Make your feelings go away like the drop of a hat because you find out he’s a bad lay. Or it’ll be so good that you realize you’re never getting over him and you’ll be thinking of his dick instead of your husband’s on your wedding night.”

“We’re. In. A. Public. Restaurant.”

Mina steals a biscuit from your tray. “If it ends up being the first outcome, then the whole thing was my idea. If it’s the second…then just know that Nobara has steered you wrong.”

“Why the hell do you have to drag me into this?” Nobara asks.

You’re about to take a bite from your sandwich again when you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone in your purse. You pull it out and glance at the caller ID, then let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I have to take this,” you mumble, slipping out of the booth and towards the restaurant’s exit, pushing the tense door open with a gust of fresh air brushed through you.

“Hello?” It’s the car repair man. “Really? I thought you said it was fixed.” Apparently something else came up. “Okay…how much longer will it be in repair?” Much longer than you had thought. “And how much will it cost?” Much more expensive than you had thought. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, really, I feel as though every time I’m on the line with you all, I have to wait longer to get my car back, and the bill just racks up higher.” They’re trying their best. “I know. Is it necessary to fix in order to drive, though?” State laws require it. “Okay…thanks for the update.” And then you hang up without another word, and with all the frustration in the world.

You head back inside and grumble about your car woes to Mina and Nobara, who try their best to respond with interest.

“Why can’t your insurance cover it?” Mina asks.

“Apparently they can’t claim it’s because of those rocks I drove over,” you sigh, “since it looks like it’s been a problem for longer than that.”

“Can you afford it?” Nobara asks.

“Not really,” you say. “I’ll just have to postpone having my car for a bit.”

You sigh with a glance out the window of this fine dining establishment, into the blue skies just beyond, head drowning out the voices of Mina and Nobara as they continue to grill you about all sorts of questions that you don’t have the energy to answer right now. You had another student loan payment to make once you got home today, and just the thought of it makes your heart drop a little. And you realize you just can’t afford to be picky about your financial situation anymore.

—

“Thanks for helping me out with this,” you say, footsteps over familiar grassy hills as you head towards the UTokyo’s practice field, your digital Canon EOS hanging from your neck. 

“Sure,” Kai says as he keeps pace next to you, “why the sudden mission, though?”

You’re gazing off straight ahead, a nervous pit in your stomach since it’s been a while since you’ve walked across this landscape towards the field. 

“I just feel like I need to diversify my income somehow,” you sigh, the buzzwords leaving a bitter taste in your mouth as you say them but it was the reality of your situation, “to make ends meet. When you mentioned freelance work during our conversation last week, it made me think it’s time for me to pick that up too.”

Kai hums. “Yeah, it’s a good plan. I’ll try to show you what I know.”

Once you’ve made it to the top of that hill, the one that oversees the field, your eyes instantly scan the field for familiar silhouettes, and your breath catches in your throat when you spot Gojo passively kicking a ball back and forth between one of his teammates for warm-ups.

It’s the second time you’ve seen him since that argument the two of you had in the hotel lobby, the first being at the post-game conference in which you did everything in your power to swiftly avoid him, and you plan on keeping that up. There’s also an urge to run away, but you’re starting to realize that’s not much of an option anymore.

“Honestly, you don’t really need to worry too much about shutter speed with freelance like you do for shooting sports,” Kai is mumbling next to you as he messes with the settings on his camera, the two of you making your way down the hill towards the field, and you’re not really listening because your eyes are on Gojo, who’s yelling something across the field to his teammates with a look of concentration on his face.

“Uh huh, I see,” you say. You see Kai glance at you in his periphery.

“You again!” you hear a familiar harsh voice call out, and you turn on your heel to face Coach Yaga who’s standing a few feet away in his custom UTokyo tracksuit with his arms crossed against his chest. “Why are you on my field?”

You hold your breath for a second. “Hi, Coach Yaga, so sorry, but I’m just here to take some more photos.”

He lets out one of his hmphs, unrelenting. “You’re a distraction. Get off my field.”

“D-Distraction?”

“Coach!” Suddenly, Geto’s in your line of sight as he emerges with a light jog up to your side. “You should really be nicer to our photographers, they give us a lot of publicity for our games. And publicity means funding.”

Coach Yaga narrows his eyes. “I need all my players focused right now. Even during practice.” He gives you a disapproving glance and you’re still confused, but also weirdly angered.

“Excuse me, Coach Yaga, but last time I checked, this field is technically open for all students. And I’m a student,” you say to him, crossing your arms across your chest now. “So, I can be here if I want.”

You have no idea if that’s true at all, but sometimes you’ve just gotta fake it ‘til you make it.

Coach Yaga grumbles something and then waves his hands in the air. “Fine! I’ve no bandwidth to argue about this anymore! Just don’t distract my players.”

You’re shocked that it worked, and Geto nudges you with an elbow to correct your expression so that Coach Yaga doesn’t catch on to the bullshit you just spewed. 

“Are you here to take some photos?” Geto asks, facing you. He’s got his hands on his hips, breathing slightly fast, some of his hair falling onto his forehead. 

“Yeah, I am, just for practice though. I’m here with—” you glance at Kai, who’s standing with his fists shoved into his pockets, “Kai. He’s also with the newsletter.”

There’s a moment where Geto studies the two of you for a second before speaking. “I know,” he says, extending his hand out for Kai to shake, which he does, “I think I’ve seen you around. Not sure if we’ve formally met, but it’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, likewise.” Kai’s hand is then shoved back into his pocket.

You feel awkward suddenly, and then quickly say something to Geto about how he should probably get back to practice, which he agrees to, and then you’re standing at the chalk sideline with Kai as he shows you the ins and outs about digital photography.

“Have you tried shooting in burst mode?” he asks, switching the feature on your camera and then handing it back to you. You sling the strap around your neck.

“Hm…” you start, pointing your camera across the expanse of the field to multiple areas. The trees off into the distance, the goal posts, Coach Yaga’s yapping Pomeranian. “Not really…” The grass beneath your feet, the sky above your head, and then blurrily focused before settling on Gojo who stood in the distance straight ahead.

You see through your viewfinder that he’s caught sight of you too, a look of surprise on his face seen only by the level of zoom, and you glance up from the screen to make eye contact with him in reality. He’s fully staring at you, and you can barely see the way his expression relaxes from that one of athletic concentration to something wistful and strange that you’ve had a hard time reading lately.

“Canon? Are you even listening?”

“Huh?” you snap out of it and look at Kai. “Sorry. Could you repeat that?” You quickly glance toward Gojo again, and his line of sight points towards Kai now.

“I was asking if you’ve tried panning before,” he says, reaching for your camera, pulling it towards him, but the strap around your neck means you’re pulled closer to him too. 

“Satoru!” Coach Yaga yells in the distance. “Eyes on the ball!” 

“Just got to set your camera to manual mode first,” Kai mutters, confusion in his voice. “Where the fuck is it?” He’s turning your camera in his hands, which only has you stumbling with another small step towards him, your chest pressed flush to his arm, and he looks down at you for a brief second with a smirk on his face.

You hear the sound of a ball being kicked on the field, followed by the shout of one of the players.

“Ah, here, found it,” Kai says, handing your camera back to you, and just as you’re about to say thanks and you hold your camera up, you’re hit straight in the face by a flying object and fall backwards onto the grass with a painful thud.

What the fuck?

Where are you?

Who are you?

Okay, that’s dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.

There’s shouting in the distance as you hold your head with a groan, eyes shut tight with images of your life flashing behind your eyelids, and when you open your eyes again from where you’re sat up on the grass, you’re surrounded by soccer players.

Gojo’s suddenly in your line of sight, knelt down beside you and he’s holding your shoulders, trying to get you to look at him but you’re still blinking away the stars you’re seeing. “Fuck, y/n, are you okay?” he asks, and you register the concern on his face.

“Dude,” one of his teammates kicks the heel of his cleat, “where the fuck were you looking? It was clear as day I was tryna pass to you.”

Gojo grumbles something to him, his brow furrowed, and he’s lowering his head to try to make eye-level contact with you but you’re still holding your head with a wince.

“Oh shit,” Kai comments, “she’s bleeding.”

You pull your hand from your face to glance down at the wetness that you feel, and bright red color stains the tips of your fingers.

The next thing you register is Gojo picking you up off the hard grassy ground into his arms, and starts carrying you away down the field.

“W-What the hell are you doing?” you ask, his pacing across the grass is fast and you have to wrap your arms around his neck to keep from getting dizzy.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he says, voice strained in his throat, and you’ve never seen him look so worried before. 

“The hospital?! Please don’t, I don’t have health insurance right now.” His face is so close and you’re distracted from the pain of your headache.

“You’re bleeding on the face, I’m taking you whether you like it or not,” he grumbles.

You dig your nails into his shoulder through the nylon of his shirt, and he hisses from the pain before stopping in his tracks. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Satoru, I just need a fucking bandaid.”

“You could have a concussion.”

“A concussion?!” You kick your feet for him to let you down but his grip on you only tightens. “You’re being ridiculous. Let me go, or I’ll bite you.”

He scoffs at that and continues walking forward. “You’re gonna bite me? That’s the most threatening thing you could come up with?”

“I’m being so dead serious, Gojo Satoru. No hospital.”

He grumbles something under his breath at your use of his full government name, and then says “fine” but he’s still walking down the grass until his cleats begin to tap on concrete, and then on what sounds like tile as he carries you into a building a few yards from the field.

He seats you on a cold counter, your hand gripping the faucet of a sink, and you finally take a comprehensive look at your surroundings. light blue, faint scent of chlorine in the air

“Is this…a locker room? The men's locker room?”

He sighs, bending his knees a bit to look at your face closely. You flinch when his hand reaches out, and he pauses, but you relax slightly and then he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You feel the smear of a droplet of blood. “Yes. I need running water.” He turns the faucet of the sink on to run his thumb under.

“For what?” you ask. His thumb is running over your cheek again.

“To take care of this cut.” He disappears behind a tile wall for a moment. You can hear metal clanking, probably of a locker opening and closing, and he re-emerges with a first-aid kit.

You slide your butt across the counter to the edge, about to hop off and make a run for it when he grabs your hips and puts you back into place. “Don’t even think about it,” he grumbles. He leans forward, grips you strongly, and you see that he’s still breathing heavily from practice, strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and you can practically taste the salt on his neck. 

You press your shin to the front of his thigh, desperate to put some space between the two of you. “I don’t wanna be in here. Men are scary.”

“Well I can’t take you into the women’s locker room,” he says, ripping the packet of an antiseptic wipe open with his teeth, “I’d get registered as a sex offender.”

You attempt at an escape again, and he’s quick to get his hands on you to stop it.

“Quit manhandling me, or I’ll scream,” you threaten through gritted teeth, because you’re still mad at him. For everything.

“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”

You blink at him, breath catching in your throat, and the expression on his face tells you he’s not interested in dealing with your stubbornness anymore.

“Just hold still,” he grumbles, placing the packet down on your thigh and then stepping off to the side to wash his hands under the sink.

“What exactly happened?” you ask, watching him dry his hands off with a few paper towels. One moment, Kai was trying to explain good digital photography to you, and the next you were dizzy from being knocked back onto the ground.

“You got hit by a soccer ball.”

“I know, but how?” You remember your camera hit your face from the impact too, and now you’re worried about it.

“I…wasn’t paying attention when my teammate passed it,” he admits with a sigh, finding his place in front of you again, the knuckles of his clean hand brushing across your cheek, caressing. Your expression softens slightly. He uses a hand spread across the small of your back to push you forward to him, then he gently passes the wipe over your wound.

“Oh okay so, you failed to protect me from a flying soccer ball.” 

He pulls his hand from you to read the lettering on the back of the packet. “I’m patching you up now, aren’t I?” he says, annoyed. “…oh fuck, I was supposed to go in with water first.”

“So glad to be in such good hands right now.” 

He gives you a pointed look, but you ignore it and turn your torso to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. You had a small wound on your cheek, right over the bone, with some bleeding and it’s wider than it is deep. But when you look at Gojo again, who’s putting some ointment onto a Q-tip now, the look of guilt and worry on his face makes you feel satisfied for some reason, and you wanted to make it worse.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, brow furrowed, applying the cold gel to your cheek.

“Mhm. A lot.” Not really, no.

“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he sighs, head dipping towards you slightly to get a better look, “can you feel this?”

“Ahh, yeah. Ouch. So much.” Barely.

His other hand is placed flat on the counter next to where you’re sitting, and you allow it when his thumb starts to run soothing circles over your hip.

“Hmm…” you start, wide eyes looking up at him as he seems to lean closer and closer to you with every word that leaves your lips, “I really wonder if it’ll leave a scar.”

He looks tortured. His hand that was maneuvering the Q-tip in his hands drops to the counter now, and he brings his other one to your face, cupping your cheek. His eyes dart from the wound, thumb pressing at the plush of your cheek, and this time, it hurts a little so you wince. His expression is tense, some sort of inner turmoil you could read across his forehead, and then his jaw hardens.

“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?”

You blink a few, then tilt your head slightly. You feel like you’re on a game show, where there’s four options and only one right answer. New boytoy, gay best friend, fuck buddy, or— “He’s my coworker.”

“That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

“Has he tried anything funny with you?” 

You almost roll your eyes. “No, dad, he hasn’t.”

“Woah. Say that again but make it daddy.”

“Hey just a quick question for you. Where do you get the audacity?”

His bent index finger finds a place under your chin, tilting your head up so you’re forced to look at him. “It’s your fault, really. I can’t help it sometimes,” he says, voice lower now. You’re squirming a little, wanting to push him away but his lips get close to your cheek, brushing near your wound, like he wants to make it all better somehow. “I really am sorry,” he whispers, near your ear. There’s a whimper you have to stifle in your throat. He pulls aways just enough to where he can look into your eyes. “A cut…” he starts, thumb now passing over your bottom lip, “on your pretty face.” He sighs. You shouldn’t, but when he prods, you tuck his thumb under your front teeth and your tongue presses slightly against the padded skin of it. He looks like he’s being driven to insanity, and his other hand has no shame at all in pulling you towards him, to seat you at the edge of the counter, and you miss the texture of his thumb on your tongue when he pulls it from your mouth. But it’s so he can dip his head down to kiss you instead.

Of course the sensation of his lips on yours only lasts for a second, because the universe really fucking hates (or loves?) you, so the loud clanking of a metal water bottle against tile interrupts with harsh reverberation throughout the locker room walls, and he pulls away from you when you jump at the sound.

You both turn your heads towards the origin, located at the curved end of the entryway hall, and one of Gojo’s teammates is standing there with his duffle bag slung around his neck and hanging heavily to his thigh, his water bottle clutched in his hand. He blinks at the two of you.

Oh. It’s the one you kissed at that party a few weeks ago.

“What—…Why is there a—” his teammate starts, panicked, turning his head to double check the sign on the locker room wall as if he’s hallucinating, and when his eyes land on you again, they widen with recognition. His gaze shifts, and his chin tips down at the sight of Gojo’s irritated side eye from where he was still all up in your personal space. “…you know what. Nevermind.”

His teammate’s eyes are on you again, and you give him a shy little wave, just a fluttering of your fingers in the air paired with a small smile, legs swinging back and forth under the counter. He lets out an amused scoff from the entryway, lifting his hand to return the gesture, some cheeky grin on his face as he then scratches the back of his head before turning on his heel to leave the locker room, out of sight. You let out a sigh, hand dropping to your lap, and you don’t need to look at Gojo to tell that he’s staring at you with disbelief.

“What the fuck was that—”

“You,” you interrupt him, finger jabbing at the center of his chest, “have seriously got a lot of fucking nerve,” you hop off the counter, “to not only allow a soccer ball to sock me in the face,” he’s taking a step back with every harsh jab of your finger, “but to also hold me hostage in a mens’ locker room,” his back is pressed up against cold tile wall now while he just looks down at you with wide eyes and something akin to fear, “and then, oh my god, the audacity to kiss me?”

“I—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!” you yell, which shuts him up. “You really are just a fucking player.”

He’s stiff, not wanting to catch a punishment from you right now.

“But it doesn’t matter,” you grumble, still drilling your finger into his ribcage with the intent to cause pain. You didn’t need to be this close, but his body is warm, probably due to the blood pumping from practice, and it feels nice to be pressed up against. “Because I don’t have feelings for you anymore, so just fucking get over yourself.” It was a lie if you’ve ever told one, but you wanted to believe it so much that it could come off as the truth.

His eyes narrow down at you, eyebrows flattening. “You don’t have feelings for me anymore?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”

You roll your eyes. “Why? Because you want me to keep suffering?”

He grabs your hips, then makes a motion that is evident of his desire to pull you flush to him, but he stops himself. There’s a moment where he just takes a few deep breaths and looks at you with a hardened expression, then a split second where his eyes fall to that little cut on your cheek, and every single feature of his face softens, and then he lets you go.

You take a small step back, breathing heavily of your own, and you feel the ghost sensation of his fingertips wrapped around your hips. It makes you feel dizzy, and your thoughts are a mess. 

He sighs. “Sorry. For the soccer ball, and this locker room. But I’m not really sorry for kissing you, and if that makes me a jerk, then so be it.”

Your heart is beating fast. “You are a jerk, Satoru,” you say. He doesn’t like you, he doesn’t want you. A mantra played over and over in your head that you’ve started to hear it at night. “A real fucking jerk.” And you leave him standing there in a way that feels like the hundredth time.

—

2:34pm kaito (work): yo

2:34pm kaito (work): i had my guy look at your camera

2:35pm kaito (work): it’s pretty fucked up

2:37pm you: :( oh okay isee. does he have an estimate for the fix? the lens is okay though right?

2:39pm kaito (work): yeah lens is fine, you should really count your blessings on that. 

2:40pm kaito (work): but nah, fix would be around the same as the cost of it, so you’re better off getting a new one

2:42pm you: i don’t have thousands of yen laying around unfortunately. my car bill has sucked me dry

2:44pm kaito (work): well let me check with him. maybe he can hook you up with a good deal on a used one

2:45pm kaito (work): i got a 50% off on one of my canon cameras i bought from him a few years back. maybe he’s still got some like that

2:46pm you: yes could you check with him please? thanks so much, really

2:48pm kaito (work): sure. although i think the guy that kicked the ball to your face should be paying for your camera replacement

2:51pm you: they were just practicing. it’s their field

2:56pm kaito (work): alright. btw, you free tonight?

You blink at your phone screen from where you were sprawled across your bed. Before you have a chance to type out a response, your phone lights up with a phone call from kaito (work). You accept the call.

“Oh, hi,” you say.

“Hey, are you free tonight?”

“Oh uhh, I was just about to check my schedule.” You shake your head at your inability to come up with an excuse on the spot.

“Okay,” he says on the other line. You hear the sounds of cars honking in the distance. “Well let me know. I just left my camera guy’s shop, and he was telling me about how one of his friends does visuals for a short-film director, and that the director is looking for an assistant.” Kai grumbles something about someone he walked past being rude. “I think the director’s agency is Verve Films, so.”

You sit up in bed, eyes wide at the mention of the name. “Oh, oh wow. That’s insane.”

“Yup,” he says, “anyways, apparently the director is busy as fuck, so he left the hiring process up to my camera guy’s friend. I told him I knew someone that might be interested. Are you?”

You take a deep breath in and out. “Yeah, I am. Most of my experience on my resume lines up with short-film, so I’d be able to—”

“Alright great,” he interrupts, “so we can hold the interview tonight.”

“We?” you ask.

“Well yeah, me, my camera guy, the hiring guy. Maybe go for drinks or something.”

Your brow furrows. “That hardly sounds like an interview.”

Kai sighs. “Well, it’s not an interview for a desk job or something. It’s more of like—well, like building connections. I know you know all about that, since Utahime got you the newsletter job.”

Well, yes. She put a word in for you, which helped get the interview, but you still went against qualified applicants. “I guess.”

“It’ll be like that. Most opportunities you’ll get if you still want to pursue filmmaking are going to be like that,” he tells you, “if it feels informal, it means you’re doing it right. You might not think so now because you’re still in school, where they practically serve opportunities to students on platters, but it’s going to be different in the real world.”

You lay your head back onto the pillow, feeling like you’re receiving a lecture you didn’t ask for, and your first instinct is to pretend that you know better than he does. But when you think about all the stress recently, all of the not knowing, and the unsure, you question if you should start leaning into the advice of the people around you, and start to accept this career path for what it’s known to be. Unruly, unconventional, and a lot of times, unfair. 

“I see. Well, can I think about it? Tonight is too soon, I’d need time to research the director, put a portfolio together, and also do some interview prep,” you say, pulling your phone from your ear to glance at the time.

“Well, tonight’s the only night that works since their team’s shooting abroad for the weekend and they leave tomorrow morning,” he says.

You purse your lips together.

“But also,” Kai says, “it’s the nice thing to do, y’know, since my camera guy is taking the time to look at your camera for free, you could at least help his friend out. By the way, he just texted me, he does have some used Canons available at discount.”

You close your eyes for a second, just trying to process this conversation right now. Kai was speaking too fast, hardly enough time for you to even think.

“So do you want to do the interview tonight?”

“Yes, sure. Okay. Just— just send me the details. I’ll be there,” you say.

“Alright cool, will do.” 

You say bye, and then he hangs up.

A few hours pass by, where you spend some time putting together a flash drive of a couple of your best short films you’ve worked on in the past with other directors, as well as a portfolio of some recently developed film photography. The last thing to do was grab your emergency stash of print outs of your resume, and then you stuff it all into a folder before glancing at the mirror to take in your reflection. It felt extremely weird to show up to a job interview in something as casual as what you were wearing right now, but Kai insisted to not wear anything business. But at least you opted for jeans that don’t have any DIY holes in them.

Your face is glued to the navigation on your phone screen the second you get out of the taxi, and you walk down the bustling nightlife streets of Tokyo to get to this bar that Kai sent you the address of. But just as you’re about to turn the corner to your destination down the bar strip, you bump into someone’s chest due to lack of paying any proper attention.

“Ah— I’m so sorry,” you say, your grip on your phone tightening when you realize it was about to get knocked out of your hand, and then you look up to see a familiar face.

“Oh!” Geto exclaims from where he’s standing right in front of you, “You’re everywhere, y/n. What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to speak, hesitate for a second, and then continue. “I’m here to…get drinks with some of my friends.”

He gives you a smile. “That’s nice. I am too.” He points over his shoulder to behind him. “Nanami got into his MBA program earlier this week, so, Satoru, Choso and I are buying him a few rounds. Or possibly a million. The plan is to incapacitate him as punishment for giving up on playing in the national league with us.”

You humor him with a laugh. “That’s sweet. Or not? Well anyway, tell him I said congrats.” Your heart starts to beat a little faster, because from the direction Geto came from, it meant Gojo was likely just around the corner somewhere. “Where are you heading to now?”

“We’re bar hopping, and I think I forgot my phone at the last one we went to over there,” he says, pointing across the street. “So I’m going to go look for it.” 

“Oh alright,” you say. “Good luck with that. I’m going to go find my, uh, my friends.”

Geto tilts his head at you and had a slightly more serious expression on his face, glancing at the folder in your hands. “Thanks. And stay safe.” 

You nod at him and then walk past him to round the corner onto the street that had groups of people loitering in front of restaurants, bars and all sorts of establishments as they wait in the cold to get inside or be seated. You recognize the name on one of the signs hanging as the one Kai sent you in his message, and when you’re a few feet away from it, you spot Kai. He’s wearing his typical street photographer wear, with a red flannel over a gray shirt and pants that are possibly a size too big for him, but that’s likely the style he was going for. He’s standing with two other people.

“Hey,” you greet Kai first, who has a pleasant look on his expression before he greets you back and gestures to the two people he was with.

“Yo, this is Junichi, my camera guy,” he says. “Don’t bother shaking his hand, he’s a germaphobe. Gotta keep ‘em clean for the electronics.”

“Oh,” you say. Junichi is a big man, broad shoulders and thick muscles. His neck is almost as thick as his bicep, and he has no hair on his head. His arms are crossed. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking a look at my camera.”

He nods at you in acknowledgment. “Sure thing. Pretty Boy here says you want to buy one of my used Canons. I don’t refurbish them, so you’d better know how.”

Kai sighs, nudging Junichi a little with a fist. “Relax, dude, we can talk about that later. Also, stop calling me that.”

Your eyes flicker to the right, where another man stood, who you assume was Junichi’s friend and this Verve Films director’s visual effects specialist. He’s similar in stature to Kai, with that casual artist look, and he has a scuffle of facial hair littering his jaw in less of an intentional fashion but rather a five-o-clock shadow fashion. You vaguely register the scent of weed, familiar to the one that lingers in the photo lab on campus after class hours. He reaches his hand out to you first.

“Hi, I’m Ren. I work in visual effects for director Akira Ko at Verve.”

Your eyes widen as you shake his hand.  “That’s amazing. I’ve studied a lot of his contemporary works, I’d love to learn more about his process.”

Ren lets a fast exhale out through his nose. “Yeah, you’ll learn a lot under him.” He pauses to shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Most of his assistants always do.”

“We’ve been waiting for too damn long,” Kai interjects before you could ask any questions about the assistant position, and he glances at his watch, “and there’s still a lot of people ahead of us.”

You glance around to the small groups of people gathered in front of this bar on a lively Friday night, eyes jumping from one area to the next, until a familiar silhouette catches your eye.

You see Gojo standing with Nanami and Choso a few strides away, near the lamppost. He’s mostly turned away from you, Nanami nudging his arm annoyed at something he said, and the sound of his laughter in the air makes your heart feel like it’s at stray. Like that was where you were supposed to be right now, not here.

You watch him from the distance as he sighs, shrugging his shoulders up and down slightly before crossing his arms when Choso gestures towards the entrance of the bar, and so he looks in that direction too. He’s frowning slightly and he brushes some of the hair fallen over his forehead away from his eyes, in that boyish way that makes your heart skip a beat, and you know he’s just doing it to see a little bit better, but it makes you want to cry. 

Geto walks up to them and rejoins their little circle, and holds his phone up in the air, and then there’s the melody of their voices bouncing off one another’s again. Geto rests his elbow up onto Gojo’s shoulder, leaning in a bit closer to tell him something, and when Gojo hears it, you see his entire body tense before his wide eyes are searching his surroundings, until those eyes land on you.

Your breath catches, and you hold his eye contact for only a moment before you look away, because it almost felt like too much to bear.

“What’s that folder in your hand?” Ren asks you, and you turn completely to face him so you can’t see Gojo in your periphery at all anymore.

“I just brought some of my work, for your—er, I guess Mr. Ko’s—reference if he’d like to see it after today’s…interview,” you say. “There’s a flashdrive, too.”

Ren has an amused look on his face and he shoves Kai’s shoulder with his palm. “Dude, you didn’t tell her?”

Kai shakes his head. “Tell her what?”

“Ohh, I see how it is,” Ren muses.

“What?” Kai asks, starting to sound annoyed.

Ren tips his chin up slightly to study Kai’s face, and then his look of amusement dissipates into one of understanding. “Nothing.”

“Tell me what?” you prod.

“Just that you didn’t really need to bring all of that with you,” he says. “Sorry for the trouble.”

You shake your head. “It’s fine, but if you could still give it to him—”

“I’m surprised Kai suggested someone when I asked if he knew anyone,” Junichi jumps in, “I’m used to him grumbling on and on about how shit the work is in filmmaking. Would’ve thought he’d convinced you to look the other way by now.”

You blink at the gruff man, then look at Kai, and he’s just staring down at the dirt of his shoes. “Well, we had a conversation about it. But I’m pretty set on what I want to do,” you say.

Kai lets out a scoff. “Yeah, I don’t really know how else to warn you about the shit show you’re in for, but if you want to be in debt to grad school for the next couple decades of your life, then it’s up to you.”

“Hey, jackass, try to be a bit nicer,” Ren speaks up. “She’s got some goals. Big fuckin’ deal.” He turns to you. “Although, he’s got a point sweetheart, school’s not going to get you anywhere in this industry.”

You frown. “A lot of directors I look up to went through graduate schooling. Most, I would say. I don’t understand where this rhetoric is coming from.”

“It’s coming from real people with real experience,” Ren says, and you dislike the way he takes a step closer to you to reiterate his point, “honestly, you should save yourself some time and give up on applying. It’s not worth it.”

“I’ve already put my application together,” you say, brow furrowing slightly, “I’ve asked professors for my references, spent the past four years working on my profile—” 

“But working under a director, I mean really getting to work under one, beats all of that. Which is why you’re here, right?” Ren asks, but it’s not curious, it’s testing.

You feel a sheen of sweat build at your forehead, even in this cold, and you clench your hand into a fist once, twice, thrice. You’re breathing fast, and the three sets of eyes that are staring so scrutinizingly into your soul right now have you faltering, like if they took another step forward, tried to intrude what you thought you knew one more time, you’d fall backwards over the cliff.

Suddenly, a hand wraps around your upper arm, and when you turn your head to the left, you see Gojo standing there.

“Hey,” he says to you, sparing one single sidewards glare towards Kai, who immediately averts the eye contact, before Gojo’s eyes are on you again, “can I talk to you for a second?”

You look at the three men in your circle, who suddenly adopt skittish body postures, and Gojo doesn’t really wait longer than a few seconds before he’s pulling you away from them over towards the edge of the curb towards the street.

“What?” you ask once he lets go of your arm.

“What are you doing here with those guys?” he asks.

“I’m—…why does it matter to you?” you ask.

“It matters to me because of the fucking absurd conversation I just overheard,” he says, “now answer me.”

His tone annoys you, and you cross your arms. “Are you eavesdropping?”

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, taking a step forward to you, “who are those guys, and why are you here with them?”

You blink at him, furrowed brows relaxing slightly as you drop your crossed arms to your side, and you stare straight ahead at the blankness of the white t-shirt he’s wearing, as your mind runs blank to his question. Why were you here with them? Was it because you had no other plans? Was it because the opportunity sounded too good to be true, and you just had to see for yourself? Was it because you’ve been unable to sleep at night from all the stress, the financial worries, the rejection, and you just want to finally feel like you’ve done one good thing for yourself? To feel like you’re at least making one step in the right direction, no matter the cost?

“I’m here for a job interview,” you say to him. Your tone is flat, and you feel numb.

“A job interview?” he asks, with just about as much incredulity you would’ve expected to hear from him at that answer, “At a bar? How does that make any sense?”

“It…” you start, “sounded fine.”

“It sounds shady as fuck.”

“This doesn’t concern you, okay? I’m—…I’m just trying to make my goals work for me, Satoru, and I really don’t expect you to understand.”

“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asks. There’s confusion in his voice, and maybe even a little bit of hurt.

“Because you can’t even understand how unfair and painful it is for me that you keep—” you have to purse your lips together briefly to fight back the knot in your throat, “…that you keep interfering with my life everywhere I go.”

His expression softens, and he silently stands in front of you for a moment. His eyes dart across your face, and then he reaches out to grab your hand. “Listen, if you still want to get drinks tonight, then just get drinks with us. But don’t hang out with those guys. They’re bad news, especially the dude with the flannel, and I don’t think you’re in a good place right now to see that.”

Your eyes see white fury at that, and you all but snap. Because the irony of this whole situation, is that you’re not in a good place right now because of him. Because of all the pain that he’s put you through, for promising to stay away but then always being near, for saying he doesn’t want you but then acting like he does. 

“You know what I think, Satoru?” you ask through gritted teeth, yanking your hand from his grasp.

He’s looking at you, studying. “What?”

You take a step forward, threateningly, and he takes a step back so that he steps off the curb and onto the road, and you’re at eye-level with him now. “I think that you’re jealous,” you say, eyes glaring daggers into his.

He blinks at you, almost dumbfounded for a moment before he says “what?”

“You’re just fucking jealous that I seem to be moving on after you rejected me, because for some weird reason, you think it’s okay to not want me, and yet not want me to be with anyone else,” you say, practically hissing the words. “You don’t like seeing me with any guys other than you? You don’t want to believe me when I say that I’m over you? You’re not sorry for kissing me? Even after knowing,” you take a pause to breathe, because you feel like you can’t, “even after knowing that I like you,” eyes blinking fast because you don’t want him to see you cry right now, “you know that I like you so fucking much, and that it’s hurtful, and that it’s wrong— and even after all of that, you act the same, and still won’t promise me any commitment of your own.”

He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t read, but you’ve lost all interest in trying to understand it anymore.

“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”

At the mention of them, Gojo clenches his jaw. “That has nothing to do with you and me, right now. What they’re trying to convince you of doesn’t make any sense, and it won’t help you achieve your dreams either, y/n.”

“You don’t know anything about my dreams, Satoru,” you say, just to hurt him. But you think about the sincere expression on his face the first time you met him when you told him that you wanted his help with your assignment. You think about the playful nudge of his elbow that night he stayed with you on the curb, and told you that you just had to try to put yourself out there, because you couldn’t accomplish anything without facing your fears. You think about how he’s always the first to like every single one of the slideshows you post of your pictures on Instagram. You think about the adoration in his eyes, reflected off the moonlight through the hotel window, when you told him about a little cottage on the countryside, one you’ve always wanted, and those eyes told you that he was really rooting for you. “You don’t know. Because you—” there’s an echo of words in your head. Someone else’s words, not yours, “Because you’re a college athlete. And—” you let out an exhale, “and you don’t pay tuition.”

His brow furrows. There’s a beat of silence as his confusion settles in. “What?”

“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself,” you say, picturing your life in your head along with all the strife, “or about all of the sinking debt, and the worry, and the— and the car repair bills,” you say, almost with a scoff, eyes sheening with tears, like you’re losing your mind, “all of the fucking car repair bills.” Your chest is heaving as you shake your head. “Because you’re set for life as long as you kick a fucking ball.” 

His lips purse together, like he can tell there’s more on your tongue to say, more hurtful words, and he wants to hear you say them. And so you do.

“You’ve never had to suffer or worry about a single thing in your life. So don’t pretend like you understand what I’m trying to do here tonight,” you say, inflection signing off on the end, to tell him that you’re done. 

He stands in front of you, practically motionless except for the slow movement of his chest as he breathes. His expression, tense and hurt, softens slowly, and you see him digging his nails into the skin of his palms through fidgeting clenched fists at his sides. And then he relaxes them, too.

“Does that make you feel better?” he asks.

His question confuses you, and for some reason, regret washes over you. “What?”

“Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”

You’re breathing fast, eyebrows pinching upwards to look at him, and the defeated expression on his face makes your heart ache. He’s waiting for an answer, and so you give him one. “Yes.”

He glances down at the ground for a moment, then at your collarbone, before meeting your gaze again. “I’m sorry. For everything. And I—” the words catch in his throat briefly, “I’ll try to leave you alone tonight.”

His use of the word try doesn’t escape you, but you give him a furtive nod, and he studies your face for a few moments before he steps back up onto the curb and walks past you. You watch him walk all the way, no longer with that confidence or conviction you’re so used to seeing in him, as he steps back into his circle, to Geto’s side. Geto gives a small glance over his shoulder to look at you with discerning eyes before looking at Gojo again, and then he’s turned away from you. 

Heavy feet drag you back to Kai, Ren, and Junichi, and you feel feverish. They mention something about the table being ready, and you nod. The bar is rustic, with more tables than barspace, and the four of you are seated and then presented with a small food menu. You’re seated next to Kai, Ren is right across from you, and Junichi is to his right. You watch a waitress usher Nanami, Choso, Geto and Gojo to one of the tables as well, two away from yours, and you forcefully blur your vision so you don’t have to catch sight of the expression on Gojo’s face.

“So,” Ren speaks up as his eyes peruse the food menu and Junichi waves the waitress over to order a round of sake, “tell me more about your experience, sweetheart.”

You blink at him, eyes feeling heavy, heart feeling heavy. “I’d prefer it if you called me by my name.”

Ren lets out a coo, and you briefly glance at Kai who’s shaking his head with a sigh. “My bad, y/n. Your experience?”

Your hands play with the folder sitting in your lap. “I started writing screenplays for small-scale directors when I was a freshman, and was greenlit on a couple into my sophomore year. One of the films I worked on, I had directing credits for, and it was nominated for best screenplay at Etoile Film Festival the year following.”

Ren swallows slightly, shifting in his chair and pushing his shoulders back, like he’s trying to establish himself now. Kai is clenching a fist on the surface of the table.

Ren clears his throat before speaking again. “Wow, okay, so you’ve actually got some serious shit going on.” His voice is a faux octave deeper. “What do you know about being a good assistant? Ever worked in customer service? Secretary?”

“Oh, I mean I have worked in customer service, but I wasn’t done sharing about my experience—” you try to say but Junichi cuts you off.

“First round’s on me,” he declares, “for bringing her out here.” He tips his chin to you and then sends Kai a glance.

A waitress brings by a bottle of sake, and Junichi begins pouring drinks into the glasses, then slides them across the table. Kai gives Ren a pointed look. 

“Don’t get too wasted,” Kai says to him as he brings his glass to his lips, “you start running that mouth of yours a little too much when you do.”

Ren grins at him and immediately knocks down the glass Junichi barely finished pouring from him in one go, and the gruff man beside him is grumbling. “Whatever you say.”

Something had been bothering you since you came here. “Wait,” you say, pointing between Kai and Ren, “do you two know each other already? Because,” you turn to look at Kai, “on the phone earlier, you sounded like you didn’t.”

Kai’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as though he’s discovered you have some skill for foresight. You glance at Ren, and he gives Kai a puzzled look.

“Uh, yeah. I’ve known Kai for years,” he says, “we go way back. We went to highschool together.”

Kai shifts a little in his chair. “Sorry. Probably forgot to mention it.”

You glance down at the glass of sake in front of you, and the way it twinkles under the lighting of the bar. You slowly bring it to your mouth, taking a small sip, and the way it coats your tongue is less than pleasing. 

“Can you tell me more about the assistant position?” you ask Ren, who’s emptied out the bottle of sake and waving someone over to order more. He already has a slightly flush to his face.

“Yeah, yeah, will do,” he says, “but first, let me tell you about what I do in visuals.”

Another round of sake is dropped by, and then another, followed by another, as Ren continues to ramble on and on about what he does for work, and how it’s entirely integral to the final piece of the film, although you’ve never really had a terrible level of appreciation for visual effects in short-film craft, since it’s hardly much work. But you wouldn’t say that, you just continue to nurse your one glass of sake as the three men surrounding you knock back more and more, and there’s slurs to their speeches now.

“Sooo, I’m so sorry, sweetheart—I mean y/n, for cuttin’ you off earlier,” he says, “but what was that experience you wanted to talk to me about?” Ren asks from across the table, and his eyes are all traveling over you.

“I…” you start, “well, I started to work with one of my professors last year, she’s a two-time Cannes Film Festival winner, and she let me under her wing for one of her projects last year.”

“Who is she? Oh wait, nevermind, probably wouldn’t have heard of her anyways,” Ren says, but when you fail to laugh, he waves his hand in the air. “Joking, joking. What’s her name?”

“Naoko. Naoko Ogigami.”

“Oh shit. I have heard of her,” Ren says, followed by a shallow hiccup. Junichi shrugs his shoulders, and when you look at Kai, he’s nodding slowly and toying with the rim of his glass with a finger.

“Yes. Well, anyways—” you start up again, before Kai sets his glass of sake down particularly loud.

“This is all bullshit. Really. I told you, filmmaking is a waste of time. Just focus on your photography, and your freelance or whatnot,” Kai says, grit to his jaw, face looking red with possibly something other than just a tipsiness. 

Ren lets out a laugh. “Fuckin’ Kai. What a pessimist. Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” he says, slurred, and you furrow your brow at him with a glare, “sorry. Don’t listen to him. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot under Mr. Ko. He’s a suuuper nice guy.”

“What’s the compensation?” you ask. It’s a brazen question, one you’d never ask so soon in a formal interview process, but this table was hardly anything formal.

“Real good. Mmm I think like…5200 yen an hour, and then also, you get your foot in the door.”

“Oh,” you sit up a little in your chair. It was higher than most entry-level anything for undergraduates or even new grads. 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he drawls when he sees you’re more interested. “Good stuff. Kai used to pick these kinds of jobs up, too, back in his college days. I remember. Although, he’s hardly Mr. Ko’s type, so I doubt he’d be any good for this one.”

Your head snaps to Ren again at his words, face tensing. 

“Tell her about what a job like this—hic—entails,” Ren says as he extends his glass out for Junichi to pour him another.

Kai glances at Ren once, and you watch him grind his teeth for a moment, and then there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Oh. Y’know, clerical work. Stuff like printing scripts out,” Kai starts, Junichi filling up his glass and then he raises it into the air to watch the liquid swish around, “grabbing him coffee. Making sure his trailer is stocked.”

“Blowing him in said trailer,” Ren says. It’s something quiet, under his breath with a small laugh, where you could barely hear it across the table. But you heard it nonetheless. And your heart sinks to the core of the earth.

“Excuse me?” you say. The benefit of doubt sitting on your shoulder, watching in disbelief as well.

“He’s joking,” Kai says, quickly, “runnin’ his mouth.”

“Oh fuck off, Kai,” Ren says, throwing his hands up in the air, “don’t act like that’s not why you brought her here.”

Your head slowly turns to Kai, who can’t meet your gaze. Your eyes flicker to Junichi, who looks amused. 

Ren leans over the table, elbows resting on top, to look you straight in the eyes. He’s got a sleazy smile, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he dips his tone down low enough to where you can hardly hear it over the sounds surrounding you in the bar. “That’s how you’ll make it in this industry, sweetheart. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be working under those directors until you make it.”

You stand up so fast that your chair falls behind you, hand raised in the air, and you swiftly slap the man across from you so hard across the cheek that it leaves his skin even more red than the flush from before, and your palm is stinging. 

There’s gasps all around the bar, hushed voices, eyes on you, but you don’t care. There’s not a single thing in the world you care more about right now than the anger swelled in your chest.

Ren holds his cheek, surprised, blinking like a pathetic animal. He almost looks like he’s about to cry, and you let out a scoff at the sight.

You turn to face Kai, whose eyes are wide and he’s staring up at you. Your fists are clenched at your side.

“Is this why you brought me here tonight?” you ask. Your voice is trembling, anxiety at the wake, the white anger spotting your vision. But there’s also pain. So much pain, and you’re just so fed up with all of it. “Because your belittling, condescending words weren’t enough to tear my hopes apart, so you had to humiliate me in front of your friends instead?”

Kai holds his hand up. “Woah, Canon, relax. He was just joking—…” Kai glances at Ren, who’s still holding his cheek and biting down on his lip, and then his gaze hardens. “Y’know what? It’s about fucking time you get this wake-up call, y/n. I’ve been trying to do the nice thing to steer you in the right direction, and the least you could—”

“Steer me in the right fucking direction?!” you’re yelling now, registering the way your voice echoes in the bar. “You know what I think this is all about, Kai?” You grit your teeth, “You’re a sick, stupid, sexist fuck who didn’t have the balls to go after what he wanted. So miserably pathetic that you’ve got no other fucking business than to pull people down to your level.”

Kai pinches his eyebrows together, hand on the table clenching into a fist. 

You lean down closer, an exasperated scoff leaving your lips. “Why don’t you go be his assistant instead? Since I’m sure you’re good at taking it up the ass.”

Kai’s eyes twitch, “you fucking—”

You grab his glass off the table and throw the alcohol into his face, eliciting another round of noises around the bar, and his mouth falls agape in shock before he gets up out of his chair, hand reaching out to grab for you. You close your eyes shut with a flinch to expect pain. Any sort of pain. But you don’t feel anything at all.

When you open your eyes, you see Gojo standing to your left, veins of his arm tense with the tight grip he has on Kai’s forearm, and you can see he’s practically shaking with rage. He steps in front of you, guarding, and you can’t see the expression on his face, but the fear in Kai’s eyes is enough to say it all.

“That’s enough,” he says, the clench of his jaw evident through the strain in his voice, “try to put your hands on her again, and I’ll split your fucking face in half.”

You can see Kai’s breathing pick up from where you’re peering over Gojo’s shoulder, and then Gojo shoves him backwards right as Choso kicks the fallen chair to his feet so he trips over it backwards then hits the ground with a loud and indignant thud.

Gojo’s hovering over Kai, his hands shoved in his pockets as he glares down at him, while Geto and Nanami put space between you and the other two men at your table. You feel a searing flush to your cheeks. You’re breathing fast, the peering eyes all around you are scrutinizing, looking at you with surprise, confusion, shock, and pity. Your mind is racing, and you wonder what your parents would think of all this. What your friends would think of all of this. What the people who support you would think of the fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in, and the humiliation courses so deep through your veins that you just want to run away and hide. The ground could swallow you whole right now, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

You take one step back, then another, before you turn on your heel to rush out the door into the night, and you barely register that it’s raining. You can feel your heart thumping fast in your chest and in your head, that familiar knot in your throat twisting tight as you walk fast down the street and ignore Gojo’s call of your name from behind you.

You don’t want to see anyone right now. You don’t want to be seen by anyone right now. Especially Gojo, of all people, because he was right about everything, and the fact that you had shut him down about it, and the way that you had shut him down about it makes your head numb and your breathing pick up fast.

“y/n,” you hear him call out from behind you, his pace is getting faster and so you’re resorting to longer strides as well, puddles of water splashing under your feet with every step, “just wait—”

“I’m seriously,” you start, and the tears begin to fall, “I’m seriously so, so, so, so, so fucking embarassed right now,” you gasp out the words with no air left in your lungs to breathe as you continue to run away from him, “so please, just leave me alone.”

You can picture it all in your head. Something like I told you so from his lips, because after what you’ve been put through tonight, you just want to assume the worst in people.

But just as you round the corner into an alley, feeling lost with the sight of a dead end, you feel a hand wrap around your arm and then you’re being pulled into an embrace.

Your eyes are blinking with tears streaming, your face buried in a chest that is warm, with a heart beating so fast that it’s keeping time with your own, and the fragrance that surrounds you is so painfully him that it makes you sob even more.

Strong arms wrap around you, pulling you closer, and Gojo rests his chin at the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, and you can feel the rumble of his voice, “I just needed to stop you from running.”

Your arms are weakly raised, an outline over his torso but not yet grabbing on, until you hesitantly do. And when you hold onto him, it’s so tight and strong, and you realize that after everything between the two of you, it’s the first time you’ve been wrapped in his arms.

“I feel so stupid,” you start, already hating the words because you want to be stronger right now, but you can’t.

“You’re not stupid,” he quickly corrects you, “those guys are fucking insecure losers. You’re just trying your best. You always have, for as long as I’ve known you, and it’s something you should be proud of yourself for.”

You don’t know what to say to him, you just cling to the damp fabric of his shirt in the rain.  

“Things are going to work out for you, no matter what, because I know you’ve got what it takes and you’re willing to work hard for it,” he says, his chin nuzzling so you’re tucked into him even further, “and if things don’t work out, that’s okay, you’re strong and you’ll always get back up. And I want to be there to help you through everything.”

You pull your face from his chest to stare up at him, droplets of rain falling to your face and making you flinch occasionally. “I’m confused.”

His hand comes up to cup your face, swiping at a tear on your cheek, or maybe it was rain. “I thought that—” he starts, his thumb briefly running over the small cut still healing on your cheek, his brow furrowing, “I thought that I’d be okay with watching your life from afar, through cropped pictures on a screen,” he says, a chill running through you, “but I can’t. It’s killing me. And I’m really sorry that it took me this long to tell you this, but I like you so much and I really want to be with you.”

Your eyes widen at his words, and you don’t know how to feel. You push your face into his chest again. His thumb runs circles at your side through the dampness of your shirt.

“There are a lot of reasons I didn’t feel like I could date you, or show up for you,” he says, “but the pain of not getting to be with you, of not getting to hold you, and just share my life with you is way worse than whatever reasons I kept trying to convince myself of.”

You nod slowly, because there was a part of you deep inside that knew that all along. 

His grip on you relaxes slightly and you take that as a request from him for you to look up at him, so you do. “I know I’ve put you through a lot of pain, and I’m really not a perfect person, but if there’s room in your heart to forgive me, I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel happy and cared for.”

Your eyes study his face for sincerity. They’re words you’ve been wanting to hear, words you could’ve pictured in your head, but the adoration in his eyes makes you realize you never could’ve imagined the true sweetness of those words when they’re said from him.

You press your cheek to his chest again. You’re not crying anymore. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. About kicking a soccer ball, and having it easy,” you bite down on your lip, because now there’s tears in your eyes again, “I didn’t mean it.” You sniffle a little, “I know you work hard. And it was a really mean thing to say.”

He sighs, holding you flush to himself. His cheek presses against the top of your head. “That’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But I do.”

There was no grudge at all. There was nothing withdrawn from you, nothing taken away as punishment. He just held onto you, exactly as you are, and you felt so safe in every second you spent in his arms.

You look up at him again. His hair is damp, strands clinging to his face in all the places they usually fall over, droplets of rain falling from his fringe onto your face and he does everything he can to wipe them away. “It’s too late,” you tell him, and he immediately knows what you’re referring to.

He just holds you closer. “I know.”

“I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” you say through a sniffle.

He knows you’re lying, and that you say it just out of spite, but he holds your head to his chest. “I know.”

“You’ll have to beg and grovel, and even then, I might not like you ever again,” you say, gripping so tightly onto his shirt for purchase, your voice sounding muffled as you breathe in the scent of him. “That’s your punishment.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. A firm press of his lips, lasting as he takes a few deep breaths. And then he kisses the same spot again, staying still in that position as he repeats himself.

“I know.”

--

a/n. phewww thank you for reading, i swear, this chapter felt like a goddamn war to write. my emotions were all over the damn place, i think cause i wrote from a place of bitter experience lol. i dedicate this chap to my lovely friend she’s a film major (she inspired me to create this story) and i srs wouldn’t be able to write kickoff without her 😭💕 dear M♥︎, i thought of you sm while writing this chapter, i can only hope i’ve captured even the slightest bit of the understanding i will always aim to have of you, and that you feel seen. i’m incredibly proud of you, always rooting for you, so often thinking of you, and terribly missing you so much rn (plsssssss visit meee😩💔 ) dedicated w sm love 💕 -bitchasshoe this chapter is also dedicated to anyone who’s going through a hard times n maybe just trying to figure themselves out :”) i am so proud of you, you should be so proud of yourself, there’s still so much to live and learn, and i hope the universe blesses you w everything you’ve ever wanted!! big thank u to my lovely m00t @quinnyundertow she pulled me out of my writers block for this chapter and also beta read a lot of it for me there’s only three chapters left for kickoff (i’m gonna cry just thinking ab it :”)) which doesnt sound like a lot but there’s still a lot i’ve got planned 😭 i’m just noticing that i very poorly planned the second half of this series. chapters 1-6 combined have less words than chapters 7-9 combined 😅✨ sooooo i may increase the chapters from 12 to 14 by splitting them up to make it easier on me, or just stick to the plan and come out with long chapters like the last two. idk. i’ll figure it out. thank u to everyone for reading i love you all dearly 😭💕 i’ll see you in the next one!!

➸ take me to chapter ten!

➸ wrote some kickoff headcanons here

--

taglist: @who-can-touch-my-boob @therealestpussyeater @lost-resonance @hojoslutoru @foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @bsdicinindirdim @tsukikourito @getitsatoru @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @btszn @prince-wyiilder @semra4 @gojosimp26 @drthymby @ninitoru @bbyxxm @fvsm4x @sadmonke @zoinks1010 @bakuhoethotski @horisdope @sykostyles @aquaberrydolphin @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @ri-sa20 @purplehallow11 @mwtsxri @ritsatoru @bxddiebloss @chwesuh-imnida @mo0nforme @viware @still-fking-single @megumisthirdog @gintokhi @karvokr @cierocanteat @imjustaweirdnerd @ronniebird @bloopsstuff @mwtsxri @witchbybirth @tetsuski @fffinskye @gh0ulkz @beabadobeee @mandysfanfics @erencvlt @laviefantasie @sukunamylovexoxo @girlkissersco @itzjuliana @yell0wdreams @1dimas7 @strayedjeno @mo0nforme @yungbloode @sullybrothersmate @oaooaoaoaoa @swagangelllamawolf @banenemilk @inniesblog

(hope i didn't miss anyone thank u all sm!!)

[predestinatos]

you mean everything - MV1 ೀ⋆｡🌷

summary: max needed a wedding date and you were used to being his fake partner.

tags: max verstappen x fem!reader, fake dating, friends to lovers, max is so whipped, fluff, a bit angsty maybe?, mentions of alcohol

word count: 2k

notes: i've been writing (and thinking) so much about max... my period is coming please give me a break i'm sensitive. also would love to get some feedback if possible so i know if it's worth making a series out of this!!!!

"If you want to make it believable at least hold my hand" you half-whispered to Max, who was buttoning his blazer while getting out of the car, you behind him.

"Sorry, I'm not used to this with you" he said chuckling. His sweaty palm held yours tightly, and the feeling of it was odd. Knowing Max for so long meant that these romantic gestures felt almost cringeworthy to you both, and you both had to put up award winning performances every time you played this game.

The game in question being fake-dating. It started as a funny joke where you both thought it would be great to test out the Get A Champagne Bottle For Free At This Restaurant If You Propose theory (which worked, by the way). From then onwards, you used each other as dates whenever asked by annoying family members, creepy coworkers, or just because you felt like lying.

The talking wasn't hard - you both felt comfortable in that part, lying with words coming off almost dangerously natural - but when it came to acting the part, both of you felt awkward, like kids who found relationships absolutely repulsive.

This time, though, the performance would last longer than usual: it was a wedding. Max's friend's wedding. Max could've just gone along, or bring a friend (even you as a friend). Yet he had told his friend, after one too many shots on his Bachelor's Party, and after being chosen as The Guy Who'll Take the Longest to Settle, that he had, in fact, a girlfriend. His friends didn't believe him, so he showed a picture of you two together - a selfie really, nothing much. And they still said they didn't believe it. So here you are.

You couldn't blame him, even if you wanted to. You agreed to use each other as a fake partner for as long as you could in as many situations as required, although when it all started none of you ever thought it would lead to wedding attendances.

So now there you were, Max's hand on yours, entering the small church. His eyes locked with the groom, who waved and called for you to sit near the altar.

"So you ARE real" he said, nervousness laced in his voice even as he tried to lighten the mood himself. You giggled at the irony of it, nodding as you said your congratulations.

"Just wait until the guys see this" he continued gesturing towards the bench where 3 other men around his age sat. Men you had seen before in some Instagram pictures, men you spent the previous night trying to memorize basic information about so you didn't sound suspicious.

Max's hand now fell on your waist almost instinctively - it wasn't instinctively, he told himself once he noticed its positioning. And if it was, it was only because he took this so seriously, almost as a sort of method acting. Sitting down next to his friends, he noticed how all of them seemed surprised at your presence, and something like pride filled his chest. He loved winning, loved being right even if he was lying; but most especially, he loved how jealous other men seemed to be over the fact that he was (at least in their minds) dating you.

He couldn't deny - though he tried, really - that you two looked good together. His rougher features mixed with your softer ones gave you both an aura of near unreachability, which yes, was pretentious of him to think but he thought nevertheless.

The ceremony was quick and endearing, a smile spread across everyone's faces at the shared loved between the bride and the groom. As the crowd clapped, Max leaned into you, "don't tell me you're crying". "I am, just to think that I'll have to keep pretending to date YOU for the next 10 hours" you replied, his mocking smile recognizing the joke.

The reception hall was beautifully decorated with shades of soft green and violet orchids. Max tried not to think about how much it matched the shade of your dress, how you looked like you had come to life from a classical novel. He tried to feel like anyone but Mr. Darcy as you felt so much like Elisabeth Bennett to him.

Sitting down next to him, you found this part easier - mingling and socializing was something you enjoyed more than he did - especially with alcohol in the mix. It's a wedding, you thought; this is what weddings are for.

So you drank the wine with the main course and sipper champagne to celebrate and ordered a few cocktails when it was time to dance and talk - and you felt it on your body almost as much as you felt Max's hand occasionally sitting on your thigh, but not even close to how strongly you felt his thumb caress your skin as he did so. Truth was, he too was drunk; his eyes looked smaller and his cheeks were flushed, and the amount of times he ran a hair through his dirty blonde hair had caused it to look messier. As you looked at him, you felt he never looks as attractive as when he is like this - loose and carefree, his shirt sleeves rolled up and a smile on his face when he notices people laugh at his joke.

"I have to admit I didn't think it was true" his friend said when Max left to go to the bathroom. He looked drunker than the two of you combined, his words hard to decypher, like a riddle. "He's been talking about you for months now and we never saw you for real so we thought you didn't exist" he laughed, and you laughed back before it registered.

"Months?" you asked him, eyebrows furrowed yet attempting to remain composed. You shouldn't have asked it - a supposedly month old girlfriend wouldn't be surprised but you were his fake month old girlfriend and you weren't understanding it anymore.

"Yeah. He talks about you so much all the time I think even we started to date you" he laughed again, yet this time you didn't find the joke so funny. You were frozen in your seat, merely blinking as if trying to put the confusing puzzle together, the pieces not quite fitting the way you thought they would.

A touch on your shoulder unfroze you, almost like magic, like a disney film come to life. You turned around to find the groom, somewhat sober, smiling at you while also looking somewhat concerned. "He's calling for you... And he's also absolutely wasted" he said, pointing to the door of the hall.

"Shit" you cursed, getting up from your seat at a speed you couldn't believe, worry filling your heart, making you forget the conversation you were just having.

Opening the door to the garden outside, you found Max sitting down against the wall, shirt partly unbuttoned and disheveled hair. When he saw you, he grinned, such genuine happiness laced with tipsiness.

"Lightweight" you mocked as you crouched in front of him, trying to balance yourself on your heels, somehow managing it despite your own drunkness.

"You're laughing at my mis- Shit- my misery" his throat bobbed up and down, exaggerating his own agony with a hand on his chest and another on his forehead like a Shakespeare character.

"I have to admit it's quite fun sometimes" you bit your lip as you fixed his hair as best as you could, hands brushing through its soft, blonde mess.

"You're so– you're so sweet" he said, his words dragged and messy. He brought a beer bottle to his lips but you stopped him before any liquid touched them.

"I think that's enough of that for tonight" you grabbed it and placed it behind you, sitting in front of him.

"See now... Now you're being mean" his hand grabbed a strand of your hair and played with it softly as he pouted.

"Okay big boy I'm gonna get you some water" you say, getting up once again, yet his hand stops you, grabbing your wrist tightly.

You looked at him, startled. His drunken state is visible, and it felt frustrating that you had to be the one sobering up for him. The music vibrated through the wall he leaned against, somehow tickling him, making him giggle.

"Stay," he managed to say, eyes half closed, "I'm so glad we're- Fuck things are spinning so much" his hands rushed to his eyes and his head hung low, "Ah fuck. I'm so glad we're datin- Fuck, no, oops-" he continued laughing despite how sick he felt, the whole situation sounding hilarious when filtered through alcohol.

You giggled along with him, mostly because you wanted to see if you could convince him to move, scared he might feel worse or pass out on the cold floor if he doesn't do so. "Fake dating. Fake dating, I know. I knowww" he continued, his words dragged and his finger pointing at you before poking your nose with such innocent sweetness you were taken aback.

"Max" you tried to sound more assertive but found it hard to do so, your own intoxicated state making the situation lighter than what it actually was. Your heart racing was a symptom of it, one you wouldn't feel if sobriety was an option, you thought. Max's eyes wouldn't seem to stare at you differently were he sober as well, and the way he scanned your features, his gaze staying on your lips for longer than expected, wouldn't affect you in the slightest had you not drank some alcohol.

"I like it when you say my name" he looked up at you innocently, pleading, almost.

"Want me to say it again?" you asked, smiling. You complied with these demands because you knew they were childish whims of an intoxicated man, his happiness a priority in times like these. Upon his nod, you started saying his name, half teasingly, half reassuringly, the leaves rustling in the garden behind you.

"Max... Max!! Max Max-"

He shouldn't. It would complicate things, and he liked when they were simple, clean and organized. He knew he shouldn't even when his whole vision spun and his brain convinced him that he should do things he would never do otherwise. But every time he refrained from saying something he would stumble across all his words and trip and fall and his head would only hurt more, and it seemed as if he could only focus if he kept listening to you and talking to you and looking at you.

The lights shone behind you in a way that made it feel as though he was dreaming, like you were a mirage, too good to be true. Maybe his friends were right - you weren't actually real. He wanted to be sure, in that moment. That you were real and that he wanted you as much as he thought. And though he shouldn't, though it was a terrible idea, he couldn't help but lean over to kiss you.

He tasted like champagne - bubbly and slightly sweet, his movements sloppy given his state, yet you couldn't help but drink it all in. Part of you - a big part - reciprocated the kiss, felt his fingers on the side of your neck, pulling you messily towards him, and tried to steady him, guiding him gently with your own lips.

It was odd, how this felt so right yet the fake hand holding didn't. As Max kissed you, that thought entered his clouded mind - did it feel wrong because it was fake and this was real? Your skin felt so soft, so much softer now he could touch it freely and unapologetically.

"Fuck-" he started, pulling away, his head resting against the wall once again as he stared at you, noticing how it hasn't hit you yet; what you just did, how it affected everything. "I fucking love you" he shrugged as you fixed your hair, pausing with arms raised for a few seconds before smiling softly.

"You're drunk" you replied, looking at his own grin, the gleam in his eyes making him appear both innocent and guilty of so many things.

"I'm drunk and I fucking love you"

"Max..." you started, and he said your name back to you with such tenderness you couldn't believe his lips tasted of alcohol earlier and not something sweet.

"We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" you continued, waiting for the silence to swallow you both.

[wayfayrr]

hey uh. if requests r open. would it b possible to request a follow up to that self-aware-twi fic. if not thats ok i just wanted u to know i havent stopped thinking about it since i read it. altered my brain chemistry, touch-starved twilight princess link my beloved, etc etc. ur writing is top-tier <3<3<3

I think the best part about this ask is - I've had this written since early January. I actually wrote part two as a birthday gift for a good friend of mine @glowyskull <33

So this is more just me finally posting it sfbgdfbgdb. it's also funny to think that the twilight fic is my most popular fic now considering how the self aware au really started as just a really guiltily self indulgent fic - something fun to write that I didn't think could get as big as it did on my blog. and I'm glad that you liked it so much <333 whimpery touch starved twilight princess link is just so AUGH love him so

[masterlist]

“Oh you’re finally wakin up then darlin’.”

“...hmm?”

“C’mon darlin’, you can’t have forgotten what happened earlier already? Can you? Your fever - cold isn’t that bad so you can't have…”

Who’s rambling… and why does it sound so familiar?  Wait does that mean - is everything that happened earlier all real then, did link really crawl out of my tv just because he was lonely. Because I left him there, left him all on his own to rot in his own solitude. 

“Link? You - that - everything was real then? All of it?”

“All of it darlin’, from how I got out to how I’m never gonna leave ya.”

“Huh..? I could’ve sworn that you didn’t even mention anything like that…”

“Mhm, well you’re ill and still a little out of it darlin’ so you probably just forgot, you did agree though.” 

It does sound like something that I would agree to, I mean I’m the reason that he’s sentient. It would be cruel of me to throw him to the other wolves, he isn’t from here but besides even that, he isn’t from here. He doesn’t know how this world works, it would be worse than sending a dog to a shelter. It would be his death sentence for certain, and after all that I put him through for a simple pause in playing. The way he’s petting my hair like this though, it’s enough to simply just wash the rest of my worries away, if I could I would spend the rest of my life right here easily.  

“About your illness though, do you have any red potion anywhere?” 

“No, no things like that don’t exist here link and the painkillers I have aren’t worth moving for.” 

“If you’re sure… I’ll go and get them for you the second you change your mind.”    

“You don’t even know where I keep them.” 

His hand paused at that, causing me to let out an involuntary whine. I couldn’t even think to stop it with how it slipped out instantly, which he seemed fond of. Cuddling me closer to his chest and resting his head on top of mine, with what felt like a giant smile on his face. 

“I can look for them, It’s not like I won’t need to learn where everything is now that I’m living with ya… besides I’ve already put you through so much stress when you’re not well.”

“You didn’t mean to link, how could you have known I was sick?”

“...I don’t know - I just - it shouldn’t have been hard to know with how you looked when you opened the game. I’m sorry love I just wasn’t even thinking I just wanted to be out, but I should’ve been more considerate to you.”

With how silent he is in the game you could never have guessed how much he likes to ramble, it’s the second or third time it’s happened since he crawled out of the glas- the glass. Are his bandages holding up, he seems fine but he’s not from here, any infection could be deadly. He wouldn’t even see it coming with how much he’s fawning over my comfort right now. 

“Link?” “Yes, darlin’?”

Oh wow, he - well he’s whipped already. Is it real love or has all that time trapped alone twisted him into this. I’d look into getting him therapy but… if he mentioned the truth then it would be a matter of seconds until he’d be diagnosed with something inaccurate. No one. No one at all would ever believe that a video game character actually broke out of their game - especially not someone like Link falling for an exhausted student like me.

“Are you feeling alright? You have so many cuts and wounds right now.”

“It’s nothing that’s worse than anything else I’ve ever had. They do feel more real though.”

“...real?”

“They feel like real wounds, not something that could be healed away in seconds and they’re just tiny scrapes.”He sounds so giddy as he’s talking about being hurt - it’s unnerving when he starts holding me even tighter when he’s saying it. I don’t think I’m ever going to be getting away from him ever again… if I wanted to. Why shouldn’t I take a chance at having a relationship though. He cares about me - he really does even if it’s unhinged - it would be so nice to come home to him, to be able to spoil him and be spoilt by him. Even being held like this feels so unreal, so impossible that I shouldn’t be here with him. So much so that I want to stay here and fall back asleep without any argument. Didn’t he even say he wanted to be my lover? Why look over a gift too closely?

[aniesvision]

one and only (soft dom! colby brock x virgin! f reader)

warnings: mentions of angst, mentions of toxic relationship, fluff, make out, pet names (baby, love, beautiful), praising, oral (f! receiving), fingering, p in v, love and cute moments that's all I guess

a/n: hi! this one was based in this request, i'm sorry it took so long for me to post it! i hope y'all like it, friendly reminder that english is not my first language! enjoy ✨

synopsis: You and Colby are dating for a while now, one day you decided you wanted to do something to show him how much you trust and love him.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

just to clarify, all 'first time's are different and it can be good, but it also can be bad, don't rush things if you don't feel prepared, it's not worth it. take your time 💕

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

-Are you sure you wanna do this? -Colby asks, worried that I was going to regret my own choice.

-Yes, Colby, I'm sure. -I roll my eyes with a smile, pulling him by the hand to his room.

It's our month anniversary, we've been together for three months now and I couldn't be happier. Before we started dating, we were friends for a couple years. I always knew my feelings for him wasn't just friendly, but it took me a long time to accept it.

Before I met Colby, I was in another relationship, my first one and the worst experience I've ever had. The guy I was with wasn't exactly nice to me, or my friends, he would yell at me, call me bad words and make me feel the worse. I was so blind, thinking he'd change and that he was a good guy deep down. But that just wasn't the truth.

I broke up with him when I couldn't take it anymore, he was mad at me for weeks just because I didn't want to have sex with him, but I was scared, I wasn't sure he was the one anymore and I didn't want to lose my virginity with someone I wasn't sure I truly loved.

A few months later I met Colby, we had mutual friends and we got along pretty well. We talked a lot, exchanged numbers, we texted and he asked me to go on a date with him. Although I was still heartbroken and not wanting to be in another relationship so soon, I went to the date. We talked and he accepted to take things slow. We kept on being just friends, going out sometimes, but nothing else.

I ended up falling in love with him. It was inevitable, he was so gentle, never rushed anything, respected me all the time, he treated me nicely and my friends actually liked him. We had our first kiss a while ago, and soon enough we engaged in a relationship.

It was perfect, so different from my last one. He's gentle, cute, caring, funny. He's always showing me that good people still exists and not everyone's a bad person. He's so important, and I value him so much, that I wanted to somehow show him how much I love him, how grateful I am to have him in my life. 

That's what brings us here, to his room, after a make out session on the couch downstairs. He knows I'm a virgin, I've told him before and he didn't care, he said we could do it whenever I was ready and the wait wouldn't make him love me less, but I wanted him. It's not like I don't feel things, don't feel needy, I'm just scared because it's a new thing and I have no idea how's it going to be like. But I trust him, and I want it to be with him.

We sit on his bed, facing each other, our hands interlocked together as his thumb caress my skin lightly. I take a deep breath, none of us speaking, it was like we were gathering the courage to do something or even processing things first.

-I really love you, you know? -I say, in a low, shy voice.

The mood and tension in the room make me realize how real it was. How intense the sensations felt, and how loud my heartbeats were beating.

-I know you do, baby. I love you too, so much, but you really don't have to do this just to prove yourself, I can see how much you actually care about me. -He says, in a soft tone, looking in my eyes with affection.

God, what did I do to deserve him?

I smile, raising one of my hands to cup his cheek, my eyes admiring all his features.

-I know, but I want to.

We stay silent once again, just taking in the emotions and thinking of what to do next. He nods slowly, leaning in to peck my lips gently.

-You sure? Like, really sure? -He asks again, making me giggle against his lips.

-Yes, love, I do. I want to do it, with you, because I trust you.

He smiles again, closing the small gap between us to kiss me intently. His lips moved against mine perfectly, the softness making me feel at peace. It was comfortable and hot at the same time, heated and full of love.

Colby slowly leans me down on the bed, making me lay on my back and hovering over me without breaking the kiss. One of his hands explored my body, running up and down my sides. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer to me, wanting to feel every single piece of his skin touching mine.

He pulls away from the kiss, lowering his lips to my neck, licking and nibbling the soft and sensitive area, making me sigh in pleasure. It was so good, it didn't felt forced at all, it was all gentle and sweet. Colby keeps moving down, lifting my long t-shirt over my head and throwing it aside. He takes a longer look at me, his eyes roaming up and down my bare chest, gaze intense and dark.

-You're so beautiful. -He kisses the valley of my boobs, cupping one of my tits with his hand. -My beautiful girl.

Colby teases my nipples with his fingertips, licking and sucking them lightly, his touches getting possessive by the second. He seemingly enjoyed himself by playing with my boobs, my soft moans making him drag down his lips to meet my stomach. He pulls back, looking at me as if asking for permission to slide down the last piece of clothing covering my body.

I nod, wanting nothing more than to feel something. My thoughts wondered how his lips and tongue would feel somewhere else, somewhere it'd never been before, and just with that my entire body heat up.

He seems to notice it, a small smirk growing in the corners of his lips as his eyes explore my now naked body hungrily.

-Fuck, beautiful, you're so fucking perfect.

Colby kisses my inner thighs gently, his hands on my hips keeping me still. I prop myself on my elbows to look at him better, one of my hands tangling in his hair and stroking it lightly, caressing his scalp. My heartbeats were racing, chest raising and falling rapidly, anxious to feel a new thing, the new sensation my body seemed to crave.

Finally Colby's lips get in contact with my core, pressing a quick kiss before sliding his tongue from my entrance to my clit. A soft moan escapes my lips, making him feel bolder and move his tongue faster.

-Fuck, baby. -I throw my head back on the pillow, closing my eyes to focus on the feelings.

I didn't even need to look at him to know he was smirking. He was clearly enjoying himself, I know he always wanted to do this and now that is finally happening I had no intend on pulling back. He was eating me out like he was starving, and my inexperienced self couldn't hold back my sounds and squirming, my legs already shaking against his face.

Colby looked up at me, slowly bringing his hand down and teasing my entrance with his middle finger, the rings he was wearing making him hotter than I thought it was possible. His gaze was intense, he was completely consumed by his desire and it was obvious by the darkness in his eyes.

Without any warnings, he pushes his finger inside of me, a gasp leaving my parted lips as I wince a bit by the new sensation.

-It's alright, baby, you're doing so well, just need to stretch you, need to make sure I'm not gonna hurt you. -He explains, eyes leaving mine to look down to his actions.

I whine at his words, his finger was uncomfortable at first, but then it started to feel good, sliding easily in and out my wetness. He suddenly added another one, my throat immediately turning dry. It wasn't exactly bad, and it didn't exactly hurt, but the first minutes were definitely uncomfortable.

He kept fingering me for a while, savoring the sight of his fingers entering me for the first time ever. He looked almost hypnotized, only pulling away to keep things going when I started to shake again. I huff in frustration with the new feeling of emptiness when his fingers leave me and he chuckles at me.

-Don't worry, baby, gonna fill you up again, but not with my fingers.

He crawls on top of me again, kissing me deeply, making me feel my own taste. It was all so new, a territory I never explored before with anyone, and he was making it feel so natural. I wasn't even that nervous, just a bit anxious, naturally.

Colby's clothes were on the floor in a heartbeat, my eyes taking it's time to appreciate the view. I bite my lips in anticipation, finally looking up to meet his eyes again, with him already looking at me with a mix of desire and concern.

-You're 100% sure, right? -He asks, once more, propping himself on his elbows.

I smile, although my heartbeats could be heard in the silence, I was peaceful. With a nod of my head, my hands slide up his arms as I lean to kiss him once more. He quickly reciprocates, deepening it and using one hand to touch all details of my body.

He wrapped it up with a condom, giving me a few more seconds to deny it if I wanted to. He was so desperate to feel me, yet so nervous, even more than I was, which is kinda funny. I was the one about to lose my virginity and he was the one freaking out.

-I trust you. -I speak, when I see him reluctant on top of me, scared to do something I wasn't ready to, but I was, and I truly wanted to.

He nods with a small smile, sliding his tip up and down my folds, collecting my wetness before aligning his dick on my entrance.

-Tell me if it hurts, ok? If you wanna stop just say it and I will.

And with that he was thrusting only his tip inside of me, the burning sensation immediately making me tear up and whine. He stopped, waiting patiently for me to give him the green light, and as soon as I do he pushes it all at once.

-Fuck, baby. -He groans, burying his face on my shoulder.

I try to take deep breaths, my pussy pulsing against him, trying to adjust to his size. It wasn't the worst feeling ever, with all the things people say I thought it'd be way worse. Maybe I'm just lucky, maybe I'm just wet, but definitely trusting him enough to not be so nervous helped a lot.

I tell him to move when I felt like I could take it, and his hips started to slap against mine, making nasty sounds all over the room, echoing through the walls. It wasn't the best thing ever at first, but minutes later when I was finally getting used to it it started to feel better, the pain and the burning sensations going away slowly.

Colby looks at me to make sure I was alright and kisses my forehead, touching my nose with his, he was thrusting in a faster pace, deeper, making me feel him in my stomach.

-Fuck, so good, you look so pretty. -He praises, making me smile and blush, eyes rolling back slightly as I could feel my body moving up and down with each thrust of his.

My hands squeeze his arms, nails digging on his skin as I tried to assimilate all my feelings, my heart beating faster when he captures my lips with his own, kissing me soft, the pace of the kiss not matching the pace of his thrusts.

-I love you. -He mumbles against my lips.

-I love you too. -I whisper.

Colby moves even faster, sweat dripping down his temples as he warned me he was close, moving one of his hands to rub circles on my clit. I feel the not so familiar not on my stomach forming, a desperate need to explode filling my thoughts, my moans getting louder and a loud scream of his name leaving my lips when it snaps, making me release all over him.

That was enough to make him reach his own climax, filling the condom with his warm seed. He slides out of me, throwing the plastic away and pulling me to cuddle. My face was rested on his chest, both of us breathing heavily.

-Thank you for trusting me. I love you, baby. -He breaks the silence, kissing the top of my head and squeezing me against his body.

-I love you, Colby, you're my one and only, thank you for making me feel so good. -I respond, kissing him gently.

We both fall asleep a few minutes later enjoying our company and feeling way too comfortable with each other's warmth. It was my first time, and although it had a few pain and burning sensations involved, I couldn't ask for a better experience.

tags 💕

@riowritesitall @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @anabanana28 @flower-sturns @sturncakez @sssoniaswiftt @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @sturnsxbitvh @nessii-sturniolo @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @slxtformatt @lovingregulusblack @starnoirr @katie-tibo @mattsfavbigtitties

[megamindsecretlair]

Let Me Hold You

Pairing: Tyrone x Virgin!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. PWP, virginity loss, shy reader, cursing, PIV, oral (fem receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, possession kink if you squint, Soft Tyrone, all consensual. Mentions of religion, God, and Christian-leaning faith. Sorry if I miss any!

Summary: Ask: ...the reader is a virgin church girl, who, finds herself entangled in a predicament when her parents forbid her to be with the charismatic Tyrone. Despite this, the reader has a genuine friendship with him. They have crushes on each other but do not know how to tell each other.

Word Count: 5,803

A/N: Welp. This healed and broke some things in me! LOL. This was a wonderful ask from @notapradagurl7. I'm SO sorry this took forever to get out, I felt so bad. I hope this was worth the wait. Please, please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! And please put ages in bios! Or get blockt!

Taglist: @planetblaque @dayjlovesromance @sevikasblackgf @melaninpov @amyhennessyhouse @henneseyhoe @honeyoriginalz @justheretostan @black-fairy3 @superhoeva @jarfulloftears @hereformiles @montysstuffs @westside-rot @blackerthings @blowmymbackout @euphoric05 @miyuhpapayuh @nicolexnight @8ttached @judymfmoody @wakandas-vibranium @soft-persephone @justabovewater20 @mcotton0928 @soapjay @heyauntieeee @theyscreamsannii @mybonafidefeelings @eggnox @honeytoffee @thadelightfulone @tranquilfandomer @kindofaintrovert @l-auteuse @browngirldominion @sunkissedebony97 @lovedlover @issahyland

“And we don’t want you hanging out with that - that boy!” Your father paced the living room floor, his loafers kicking up the delicate fibers. 

“What?” You shrieked. Already, fear spiked into your heart. The thought of not seeing Tyrone? It was inconceivable. You looked toward your mother who perched on the end of the plump chair, proper as you please. She kept her eyes on your father. You wouldn’t get any help from her.

“I’m an adult, you can’t ban me from seeing my friends,” you protested. Did he really think he was serious? 

“It’s not appropriate for you to spend time with someone like him. If you’re to entertain anyone, there are plenty of nice young men at the church.” 

“Malcolm just returned from college to be an engineer. I always knew that boy was smart,” your mother chirped in. 

Your eyes darted between your parents. You half expected aliens to burst from their necks. These people were foreign to you. Unique in their united anger for Tyrone, a boy you’ve known your entire life. 

“Judge not lest ye be judged,” you quoted. Your mother scoffed and glared at you as if you said you wanted to shake your ass for Satan’s minions. Your father stopped his pacing and gawked at you. Like you were the foreign one. A daughter he didn’t recognize. 

“No daughter of mine will hang around someone like that boy. Peddling that poison to people in this community,” your father said. 

“That boy has been nothing but nice to us. A boy you watched grow up. A boy you assume is doing dirt,” you countered. What episode of the Twilight Zone was this? 

“I have eyes,” your father said. “And I see what’s going on. All the people running in and out of his house, his mother’s house I might add, and bumping that music…”

“I still live at home. Are you going to judge me for that too?” You asked. Your father pressed his lips together. 

“It’s different for women,” your mother said as if it were a fact. 

You tuned your parents out as they tried to tell you the difference between young men and young women. You didn’t have the heart to listen anymore. Your blood roared in your ears and you stared off into space, trying to calm down. 

You stood up suddenly. You needed to be anywhere but here. Looking into their judgemental faces. You made one mistake. Funny how they didn’t take into consideration all of the times you were a “good girl”. How you minded your Ps and Qs your entire life. Never did anything bad. Never wanted to do anything bad.

And now, they wanted to effectively place you under house arrest. Only leaving for school or church. This was not the stone ages. You couldn’t sit here under this oppressive weight. Constantly holding yourself to a higher standard. 

What higher standard? Did God really think that oppressing women was the ticket into Heaven? Placing all of these restrictions was the ultimate symbol of propriety? What happened to love thy neighbor? 

Your parents called after you, but you kept moving. You’d never defied them. You always deferred to them. They had experiences you didn’t and just wanted you to have a good life. Bullshit. They wanted a little doll to dress up and tote around town. 

At the door, you slipped into your flats and left the house. No purse, no phone, no keys. It felt…invigorating. That type of freedom was intoxicating. Your parents’ indignant shouts followed you out of the house but they didn’t come to the door. 

You took that opportunity to head down the block towards Tyrone’s house. You hoped he was home. You hadn’t had a chance to check your phone before your parents ambushed you.

His house looked dark for once. There were no cars bunched up in front of the house or thumping music coming from the front door. You ran up the steps and knocked on the metal door.

The cold air caught up to you, edging past the heat of your anger. It could only warm you up so far. There were no sounds coming from the house so you knocked again. It was still earlyish but you didn’t want to be loud and disrespect his mom. 

“Yeah,” Tyrone called out sleepily. You suppressed a smile. Just hearing his voice instantly calmed you down.

You heard a series of locks and bolts being undone. Tyrone swung the door open. He called out your name and looked behind you. 

“What’s up? We were s’posed to meet?” He asked.

“Can I come in?” You asked.

“Always,” he said. He moved out of the way and let you enter his darkened house. You took in the space and got a chilling sense of loneliness here. You didn’t know why. Tyrone closed the door and locked it.

“I was sleep. Come on,” he said. He took your hand and led you to his room. Inside, the sudden light gave you a tiny ache in your eyes and you rubbed them. Tyrone sat on his bed, leaning one leg up onto the mattress. 

You remained standing, suddenly shy. You hated feeling unsettled wherever you went. Even in the company of your friends, you paid attention to everything you said. Were you being weird? Were you not talking enough? It was all incredibly awkward whenever you tried to join the conversation and people had already moved on to the next topic. 

“What’s up?” Tyrone asked.

You sighed and recounted everything that happened with your parents. You paced his small but comfy room, poking at random objects on his desk or hanging on his wall. He had wrinkled Lakers posters torn in one corner. You picked at it as you spoke, not wanting to look him in the face while you spoke and ranted and raved about your judgy, overbearing parents. 

Tyrone was a great listener. He never interrupted you, he kept his comments to a minimum, and when you were brave enough to look at him, he’d nod for you to continue. So you did. You told him everything, even the part about your parents judging him for his side hustle. 

“They don’t want you to see me anymore because of that?” He asked. 

You nodded and sat on the bed next to him. “I told them they’re nuts. They can’t ban me from seeing you, I’m not sixteen,” you said.

“You were pretty cute when you were sixteen,” he said.

“Shut up! I’m trying to be serious here!” You pushed his shoulder. He moved as if you were strong, but you knew that he let you. Tyrone had always been an immovable force. He moved through life like it owed him money and he was coming to collect. He had a surety about himself that kept you up all night thinking of him. 

Your hand lingered on his bare arms, taking in his large biceps. His navy tank top hung just so, highlighting his broad smooth chest. He wore his signature black basketball shorts and you quickly removed your hand. You should not be having these thoughts about your best friend. 

“I’m serious too!” He said and chuckled. He quickly sobered up and glanced at you. “I’d miss you if I couldn’t see you.” 

You smiled slowly. “You’d only miss the chips I bring you,” you said. 

“Naw, I’d miss you. I’d have to stage a breakout or something,” he said. 

You laughed, picturing hopping into Tyrone’s getaway car just to drive a few houses down. Bonnie and Clyde ya’ll were not. 

You bumped his shoulder with yours. “There’s nothing that can keep us apart,” you said. You stuck out your pinkie finger. Tyrone looked at it and laughed, shaking his head and licking his lips. 

“Really?” He asked.

“Yeah, so you know I’m serious,” you said. You pushed your hand into his chest to urge him to do it with you. He shook his head again and wrapped his pinkie around yours. 

“So what you gonna do since they dropped the hammer?” Tyrone asked. 

“I don’t know,” you said. You tucked your legs under you, holding down your dress so no one got a free show. You played with the hem. “I wish they’d see me as an individual instead of an extension of their dead hopes and dreams.” 

“I feel that. You’re just gonna have to prove that you grown now,” he said with a shrug. 

“There’s nothing I can do. They’ll only see me as a goody two shoes who’s always ready with a smile. Like, I don’t have feelings or something? I’d have to rob a bank or have…” You trailed off as the intrusive thought came to you. 

You became very interested in your dress as you played with the rolled hem. “Have what?” Tyrone prompted.

You hummed and shrugged. “Lost my train of thought. Point is, I’m tired of living and dying by their own expectations,” you said. 

The thought didn’t leave you though. In fact, the more you turned it around in your head, the hotter it got in the room. Your imagination ran away from you, providing images of a naked Tyrone standing over you. Bending you over. Calling you dirty names. You shifted on the bed as the images became a little too vibrant.

You usually indulged in your fantasies late at night, safe and comfortable in your head where no one would know except you. It was harmless to be as nasty as you wanted, getting yourself worked up and needy but ultimately not doing anything about it. Could you imagine trying to order a sex toy and have it sent to the house? Trying to hide the buzz buzz as you got yourself off? It was either the towel on the pillow or your own fingers but once you felt awkward, it was hard to get back into the mood. 

“So don’t live by their expectations. What do you wanna do?” He asked. 

You glanced at him. He treated it as seriously as possible and that only made your heart melt. He was the bestest friend you could have hoped for, growing up together. But would you always be someone he grew up with? Forced to talk about his conquests over and over and wishing it were you? 

You licked your lips and faced him. You sat up straight and looked him in the eyes. Your heart thundered in your chest. You felt the steady beat all over, thumping in your arms and in your head. Now or never. 

“What would you say to a crazy idea?” You asked. 

Tyrone shifted to allow you more room on the bed. “What kind of crazy idea?” He asked slowly. 

You smiled at the mistrust in his voice. You were kind of known for some out of pocket schemes. It was not your fault that Mrs. Edwards came home early that one time. How were you supposed to know? 

You lost a bit of your nerve, looking down at your fingers. You gripped your dress hard, your fingers pressing the thin fabric. “What would you say if I asked you to take my virginity?” 

You risked a glance at him. He was frozen solid, gaping at you. After a moment, he blew out a breath. “Wait, what?” 

“I am tired of doing what people expect of me. Nothing is ever good enough and I never get anything out of the deal. I want something for myself. I want to have sex. I want to have sex with you,” you said. 

He tilted his head so you forged on, explaining why you wanted to have sex. “And I know it might be a little weird considering we’re friends but I’m pretty sure you’re not seeing someone right now? Right? Because I’d rather it be with someone I trust, at least the first time…” You rambled. You were rambling and you couldn’t make yourself stop. You heard the words. You said the words. But you couldn’t find a way to disconnect your brain from your mouth. “And you’re totally free to say no. Like, we can totally forget I asked.” 

After you crawled into a cave or yeeted yourself off of a cliff, surely you could be around Tyrone and not think of this stupid situation. 

You opened your mouth to ramble more because he was just sitting there, but he captured your lips with his. His hands cupped your jaw and pulled you into it, moving your lips against his. Your hands gripped his, but not to push him away. You held him there and kissed him back. Tyrone ran the tip of his tongue to trace around your lips. You gasped and he pulled away, pressing his forehead against yours.

“You have no fuckin’ clue how long I been wanting to do that,” he said, his voice hoarse. 

“Wait, what?” You asked. Your head was pleasantly fuzzy. Like you were full of fluffy clouds. “You’ve been wanting to kiss me?”

“Every time I see you. You got kissable lips,” he said. He made his point by kissing you again, humming low in his throat. He pulled away and ran his thumb across your lips. Each pass of his lips on yours or his calloused fingers on you only made your head fuzzier. You squeezed your thighs together, feeling yourself get more and more worked up.

“Why didn’t you ever say? Especially after ninth grade!” There was once upon a time where you two had danced at the high school you attended. You had found a dark-ish corner away from the chaperones and told Tyrone that you’d never been kissed. He had laid one on you, probably not well now that you thought about it, but it had been so precious to you. He ended it by saying, “Now you have”, and walked away. 

The memory was always bittersweet. But hell, it was still your first kiss. 

“I was a dumb ass kid. I didn’t know how to tell you I liked you more than a friend,” he said. 

Warmth spread from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. This lonely torch you’d been holding for Tyrone wasn’t one sided. You looked into his molten brown eyes and smiled, not knowing how to properly process this new information.

In fact, it blew you away that you were here at this moment. Who knew your holier-than-thou parents were good for something? 

“And now?” You asked.

Tyrone removed his hands from your face and you missed them instantly. He grabbed one of your hands, pulling it across his lap so that you could cup him. You gasped at the sheer size of him. Despite common myths, you have seen a dick before. But you’d never touched one. Held one. Sucked on one. 

Your mouth went dry at the thought. You wanted to suck him, but what if you were bad at it? Your lip rolled in between your teeth and you bit down, wondering the mechanics of it all. 

“Well, you did ask me for something huge. Are you sure?” He asked. His voice held a strange, raspy quality to it. You flicked your eyes back to him and he was breathing a little faster. Oh shit, he really did like you. How the hell did you miss it? 

“I’m very sure,” you said. You pressed your hand in more, stroking him over his basketball shorts. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, he opened them and grinned at you. 

“I’ll do it. But I want you to promise me that you’ll tell me if you don’t like something or if you want to stop, okay?” 

You nodded. “I promise. I’m a big girl, I can use my words,” you said. Your hands still moved over him and you must’ve been doing something right because his breaths left him in quick bursts. He rubbed his face and gripped his jaw, eyes tightly shut. 

“Okay, okay,” he said. He stilled your hand on him and moved it off. “Okay, okay. Virgin. Have you done anything? Gotten eaten out?” He asked.

You sighed and shook your head. “Yeah, I just snuck them up to my room while my dad was busy in the kitchen,” you said.

Tyrone chuckled. “Okay, smart ass. Give me a minute. I’m like…I don’t wanna just jump on you even though I want to,” he said. He stood up and rubbed his hands together, jumping in place. 

You giggled. “I thought I was supposed to be the nervous one,” you said. And you were! Your nerves were shot. Your hands trembled thinking of what the hell you were about to get into. You had fantasized it so many times, wondering who it would be. Sometimes wishing it were Tyrone. And while you didn’t think it would be all glitzy like they do in the movies, you did think you’d be married. Or at least in a steady relationship.

As you looked at Tyrone though, you were glad it was with someone you were comfortable with. Someone who took your usual anxiety from 100% to about 65%. 

Tyrone smirked. “If you knew the thoughts I be having about you…you might run out that door,” he said. “I’m trying to do this right.” 

You reached out and grabbed his hand. “Don’t treat me like some glass doll,” you said. You titled your head and stared him down. “You forgetting I know all your nasty little secrets?” 

Tyrone chuckled and squeezed your hand. “Shut up. That’s different. I ain’t care about them, but I do care about you. Don’t ever treat this shit as casual,” he said. 

You sucked your teeth. “Not you too. I promise, I’m not going around opening my legs for any man that wants it,” you said. You were about to go on a tirade about how it was your body and your rules. Tyrone shut you up with another kiss, tugging on your bottom lip. 

“The thought of anyone else in between your legs makes me angry,” he whispered against your lips.

“Angry?” 

He nodded and continued to kiss you, sliding his hands up and down your arms. His warm, big hands chased away any lingering chill from outside. He slowly knelt so that he wasn’t bending at an awkward angle. 

His knees sank to the floor and he nestled himself in between your thighs. His hands continued to travel down, squeezing your hips, your outer thighs. Your hands held on to his shoulders, kneading and massaging his back. He moaned into your mouth and a delicious tingle went up your spine. 

“Mhm, so don’t say that shit no more,” he said. 

“You can’t expect…”

His hands crept closer to your pussy and you ended your sentence on a squeak. Heat rose up your neck and cheek. “Relax,” he said. You took a few deep breaths, nodding, but you were as stiff as a board. Tyrone stopped moving his hand and kept it on your thigh.

“You gotta relax. And let me do this for you,” he said. His thumb pressed into your thigh and your body caved in. He somehow zeroed in on a knot and his thumb worked it out. “Oh fuck,” you said. 

“Mhm, you’ll feel better in a minute. But you gotta relax for me,” he said.

Sure, as if you could snap your fingers and relax. Wouldn’t you know it, anxiety was a light switch you could flick on and off at your leisure. Tyrone must’ve seen your thoughts play across your face, because he chuckled. 

“Do you have any fuckin’ idea how sexy you are?” He asked.

“What?” You asked. The question caught you off guard. You knew you were gorgeous, you knew you were working with some thick thighs and a pretty tummy. But sexy? Somehow, you missed the memo about sex appeal. You swore that guys could see “virgin” stamped across your forehead.

“Mhm. Whenever you walk out the house in one of these dresses, I just keep picturing how you look underneath. If that pussy nice and pink and wet.” His voice went deeper, harsher, bringing with it dark, carnal promises.

Your thighs tingled. Your hands shook. You bit your bottom lip to keep from moaning like a ho. Tyrone kissed your jaw, then moved up to your ear. “You nice and wet for me? You want me to play with it right?” He asked.

“Yes, yes, play with it,” you said.

Tyrone moved his hand up. Your thighs were burning hot from where they rested against each other. Tyrone nudged you to open your legs. He hummed while he kissed along your ear. “I wonder if you taste as good you feel.”

You dropped your head against him. “You can’t be saying shit like that,” you said.

“Look at you, with your little potty mouth,” he said.

“Shut up, Tyrone!” 

He only laughed and finally, blessedly, reached your core. He played with the edges of your panties, seeing the way you squirmed and moaned. He slipped his finger past the material and cursed under his breath.

“Damn, all of that for me? How you gon’ run home to Daddy with panties this soaked?” Tyrone asked.

You stuttered out a response. How were you supposed to form a coherent sentence when his fingers were on you? His fingers glided in between your slick folds, pushing past your pussy lips, and tracing the outside of your clit.

Your eyes bugged out of your head. Your mouth dropped in a tiny little ‘o’ and Tyrone’s eyes narrowed as he took in your expression. He kissed you once, too quickly for your taste, and smirked at you.

“You gotta stop being so damn cute,” he said. “Makes me want to do all kinds of nasty shit to you.” 

You moaned, picturing those disgusting things. His thumb rubbed over your clit and you scrunched up your face in pleasure. 

How was it that this felt infinitely different and better than when you did it to yourself? He knew exactly what to do, taking cues from your moans and grunts and pretty gasps. You sent up a prayer, thankful that this was with someone experienced. Then again, God probably wasn’t listening right about now.

Tyrone traced slow circles on your clit. You looked through your lashes at his smug face. He knew he was driving you wild. You hissed and jerked when he got to a particularly sensitive spot. “Shh, shh, breathe,” he said. 

He held your gaze as you took in deep breaths. Your belly flipped and tightened, the beginning stirrings of something naughty making its way to the surface. Your gaze traveled down. Tyrone’s hand was completely under your dress. It was somehow hotter that you couldn’t see what he was doing to you.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” You moaned.

“Mhm, pray to him for mercy. Because you ain’t gettin’ that shit from me,” Tyrone’s raspy voice was like its own arrow of desire. Your thighs shook. Your feet dangled over the side of the bed. Your toes curled. 

“Tyrone, please,” you said. You gripped his shoulders. His smooth brown skin shone with its own light. 

“Let me take these panties off,” Tyrone said.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you said. 

Tyrone stopped rubbing your clit. “No,” you growled. What the hell was he doing? You were so close! Your belly still felt tight, overripe like at any moment you would burst. 

Tyrone chuckled and lifted your dress. The fabric drew across your thighs like scorching fire. You hissed. You were on a precipice and any movement would hurt or hinder. You didn’t want to find out which. 

Tyrone pushed your dress up to your hips. Then, he grabbed the top of your panties and moved it down. He held you as you lifted up and slipped them off your ass. He smiled. “Never thought I’d get to see you like this,” he said.  

“I’m glad it’s you,” you said and smiled.

“I’m glad it’s you,” he said. “Remember to breathe for me.”

He kept your gaze as he pushed your legs over his shoulders. He grabbed your hips and pulled you forward until your ass was half hanging off of the bed. You cried out and he kissed your thighs until you calmed down.

Your heart beat in your pussy. The throb throb throb drove you mad. You were needy. You needed something more, anything more. 

Tyrone blew a breath across your wet pussy and you cried out, jerking your hips. Tyrone only locked his arms around you, curling his biceps around your thigh. “Oh fuck,” you moaned. 

Tyrone flattened his tongue and licked you from your pussy to your clit and back down again. A choppy moan left you. Your back bowed off of the bed. Your hands gripped the front of your dress. It wasn’t enough to hold so you moved your hands down to grip the bunched up hem. 

He ran his nose through your folds. He inhaled. “Smell so fuckin’ good, got damn,” he said. “Pretty ass pussy.”

He then drew his tongue in a slow circle around your clit. Locked as you were, he didn’t leave room for movement. You barely wiggled. Squirmed underneath his sinful tongue. With each new circle, he moved in closer. He tongued you closer to your clit and you whined and moaned and cried.

Your belly tightened once more. A cresting inferno built and built, radiating waves of heat throughout your body. 

Somehow, this too was more potent coming from him. Your body jerked out of your control, twitching every which way, as he created magic around your clit. He slurped up your juices. Slurped it loudly and greedily. He tongued it all down, getting his juicy lips wet with your essence.

You spoke in tongues, muttering and chirping. Tyrone’s tongue moved downwards, rimming your entrance and pushing his tongue inside.

“Oh god. Oh fuck. Tyrone, Tyrone,” you moaned. Your hands flexed. You searched for Tyrone’s head, his neat cornrows were going to get messed up tonight. You palmed him anyway, pushing his head into your pussy and started to gyrate on his mouth. 

“Mhm, mhm,” he encouraged. “That’s my good girl.”

You came with a loud yell. You could barely breathe. The sounds and words were dragged out of you. A hidden instinct buried in your DNA to say something, to help ride this awe-inducing wave. A flood of pleasure moved through you. 

Tyrone held you down through it all. His biceps flexed with your movements back and forth. He still ate you out, flicking his tongue around your nub. 

“F-f-f-.” Fuck it, you couldn’t say it. 

You flopped onto the bed, spent. You moaned as you twitched and calmed down. Tyrone leaned up. You looked at him. His face was slick across his jaw. A spit chain drooped. He licked his big lips and moaned.

“Ready for this dick?” He asked.

You sniffled and nodded. “Please. Please, I'm so ready,” said.

“You don't’ need a break?” He asked.

“Hell naw. Please,” you said. 

He nodded and placed a wet kiss on your thigh. He cleaned off his face on his tank top. He stood up. He grabbed your hands and pulled you into a sitting position. You put your chin on his stomach and looked up at him. 

He sighed and rolled his neck. “What I tell you about lookin’ so cute?” He asked. 

“I can’t help being cute,” you said. 

“Lyin’ ass. Yes, you can,” he said.

You sucked your teeth. “How am I supposed to do that?” 

“Ion know. Burp or something,” he said.

You giggled and hugged him around his middle. You grabbed a handful of his ass and squeezed. 

“You really have no idea,” he whispered. You grinned. 

He stepped back and pulled off his shorts. His dick bobbed twice, standing at attention. He was definitely thick and long and perfect. Your shyness tried to budge back in. Your heartbeat sped up thinking of that getting inside of you. 

He twisted and leaned over. You admired his body as his muscles bunched. He was solid, stocky. A thick man with amazing thighs and ass. Cool air blew across your pussy and you bit your lip. Fuck. 

He grabbed a condom. Watching him was its own brand of sensual torture. His fingers moved deftly to open the package. He rolled on the condom, pulling the latex over the length of him. He pinched the top. 

He stalked closer, running his eyes over you. “Let me take this dress off,” he said.

You smiled and nodded. He helped you pull it off. Your bra went next. “You’re so damn sexy,” he said. 

He palmed your breasts, rubbing and pushing them together. He leaned down and brought your nipples into his mouth. He moved between your boobs, suckling and placing that warm mouth around the peaks. 

Your legs jerked up. You wrapped them around his waist. His shirt got trapped beneath your legs. He pulled it out and the shirt draped across his chest. His dick brushed against you and you cried out. He was so close to giving you what you needed. Your nails dug into his sides. He ignored you. He played with your nipples until you were a bumbling, squirming mess. 

“T-T-Tyrone,” your teeth chattered.

“Mhm, I know. Ready for me?” He asked.

“Yessss,” you moaned. 

“Sure?” He asked. He rubbed his dick through your arousal. You soaked him instantly. There was so much on you. The cool air hit across it on your skin. You knew exactly how much of a mess you made. It made you hornier. How did you go through life without this? Without this feeling?

Without this obsession running in your veins. This deep-seated need. This lustful shot of adrenaline threatening to burn your skin off. 

Tyrone’s hand wrapped around your hip. His other hand guided his dick towards your entrance. He pushed in and you gasped. He slipped in thanks to how wet you were. But fuck! He filled you completely. 

“Breathe,” he commanded. He stopped and moved his shirt out of the way. “You gotta breathe.”

You nodded. He helped you take deep breaths. “That’s right. Be a good girl for me. Good girls get dick,” he cooed. 

That should piss you off. But you wanted to be a good girl for him. You wanted to listen and get praised some more. 

Your breathing evened out. Tyrone leaned down and kissed you. As he kissed you, he pushed in. Your hand flew to his chest, pushing at him. Fuck. It kind of hurt, but it was a good hurt? You could tolerate him pushing in. You clenched around him and he hissed. 

He sank inch by inch into you. He cursed the whole time. “Fuck, feel too good. Feel too good,” he muttered. “Gripping the shit out of me.”

The praise made you moan and you clenched around him. A drop of his sweat fell onto your chest. Your own sweat slick skin pebbled in the cool air. 

Tyrone moved out and then pushed back in. The slide in would hurt briefly but then morph into pleasure as you felt him move inside of you. He was deep, stretching you out. Molding your pussy to the curve of his dick. 

He began to speed up. He flipped his shirt up and held it in his mouth. He moaned. “Can still smell you,” he said, though his voice was muffled. 

Both hands held onto your waist. He moaned as he sank deeper, you welcoming him better. “You okay?” He asked.

“Yuh,” you nodded. 

“Sure?” 

“Yu-uh,” you moaned. He was doing nothing more vigorous than moving back and forth, but he felt amazing. He filled you up. He hit that deep seat of emptiness inside of you. A place you hadn’t been able to get to on your own.

The feeling brought tears to your eyes. He twisted and brought you down on his dick a little faster. “Ohmygod,” you cried. He reached a spot that made you explode all over him. 

You cursed the heavens, you cursed hell. You cursed the world in between. You felt large. Humongous. You felt like you could grab the world with both hands. Power and pleasure suffused you. You moaned out loud, heedless of anyone who could hear. 

“Oh fuck, so tight,” Tyrone hips jerked. His fingers dug into your hips. The pressure made you moan. He jerked and thrusted one more time, going as far as he was able, and you felt him pulse inside of you.

You imagined him filling you up with his cum. You moaned as the thought made your pussy throb. Tyrone twitched and panted on top of you. He left you slowly, sliding out in a way that wouldn’t hurt you.

You missed him immediately. He wiped his sweat on his shirt and took off the condom. He tied it and threw it in a nearby trashcan. 

“Are you okay?” He asked.

You flopped onto the bed. Looked up at the popcorn ceiling. Were there words to describe how okay you were? How fantastic you felt? “So good,” you murmured. 

And you did feel really good. You expected to feel shame after having sex. You’d avoided it for so long, you started to feel like a freak for still being a virgin at your big age. But you didn’t. You were mostly sore. You were going to feel this in the morning and right now, you couldn’t care less. 

Tyrone left for a moment and you just focused on your breathing. On trying to recapture that euphoric feeling of that orgasm. Chasing after it like the wayward string of a balloon. 

He returned and placed a warm cloth against your pussy. You hissed at the unexpected sensation. He cooed at you while he cleaned you up. You smiled at him. “You didn’t have to,” you said.

“Yeah, I did. I was raised to clean up after myself,” he said.

You rolled your eyes. He left once more, getting rid of the washcloth. He took off his shirt and hopped into bed with you, pulling you chest to chest. He rubbed your back and looked into your eyes.

“You’re so cute,” he said.

“You are,” you said. You bumped his nose. 

“How you really feelin’?” He asked.

“Honestly? I feel really good. Sore, but tired.” 

“Would you want to do it again?” He asked.

“Hell yes! Are you kidding? There’s so much I want to try,” you said.

Tyrone laughed, shaking his head. He pecked you on the lips. He moaned and then pressed in for longer, licking your bottom lip and rolling it between his teeth. 

“Mm, does that mean I can get back in that pretty pussy?” He asked.

You caressed his cheek. Running your thumb across his supple skin. “That’s exactly what that means.”

&&&

Psst, there's more! The Secret Tyrone Files

[lailoken]

Hi! If you don’t have the capacity to answer questions like this thats totally okay but I was wondering if you have any thoughts/resources on house cleansing rituals? My family and I are soon moving into the home my parents will likely live in for the rest of their lives, and I’m feeling drawn to consecrate the space with some cleansing and protection magic but unsure of where to start. We are of Irish and Danish descent living on Coast Salish land, I’m sure there’s some rich folk magic I could draw from but I have no teachers or guides to show me the way! I deeply admire your work and appreciate any advice you might offer :) Thank you!

Hello there, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond! I've got a whole bunch of messages I've been meaning to respond to.

I definitely get that urge to "magically nest" into a new home.

I'll start by addressing the cleansing aspect of your question. When it comes to a new home (or really, any new space or item that you're going to be exposing yourself to energetically over time) there is often an urge to cleanse in some way, which is understandable. However, I encourage you to check in with yourself and your intuition of the space, asking if it feels truly pertinent to cleanse it. I bring this up because, some things—and homes especially, in my opinion—can actually benefit from and be strengthened by the accrual of energy in them. For instance, sometimes you move into a place, and it just feels gross and wrong on a visceral level, as if it was covered in "energetic grime." In a situation like that, cleansing makes total sense, as the goal is to remove that influence so that you can begin to imbue it with energy of your own. However, other times, you move into a place and immediately feel the warmth, love, and care that has been steeped into it, in which case, why would you want to remove such a rich and supportive energetic foundation from which to build upon?

As an example, when my in-law's first moved into the house we later inherited, it was shortly after the house's first tenant had died within it. She was a very kind and funny old woman who really liked my in-laws and helped make it possible for them to buy it following her death. For the first ten years or so of living in the house, they still strongly felt a sense of her caring nature present in the home, which makes sense given how long she lived there. What's more, though, any time my in-laws would argue or struggle with tension, they would begin to smell cigarette smoke and hear distant country music they couldn't find the source of (two things the original homeowner loved and indulged in daily), which would always lead to them laughing and patching things up. The energetic residue left by this woman could theoretically have been cleansed upon moving into the house, but I believe that would have been a sad loss for the house and the family.

With that little rant out of the way, let's say that you do have reason to want to cleanse the home and address that approach. There are many different ways one could use to energetically cleanse a building, but the main ones that seem worth mentioning here include Fumigations, Washes, and Recitations.

Purifying Fumigations involve invoking the excisive virtues present in a given material or mix of materials (such as Rue, Sage, or Vervain) and then burning said materials to release the ritually activated and aligned virtues of excision to aid you in cleansing the space. Practically speaking, this looks like wafting smoke through the home.

A Cleansing Wash involves steeping the excisive virtues of pertinent materials (such as Salt and Chile Pelper) into a solvent base (such as Water, Vinegar, or Oil), invoking and aligning said virtues ritually, and then using the homemade solution to physically cleanse the space (using the different solvents depending on your need—i.e. use oil for polishing wood, use vinegar for cleaning glass, etc.)

Recitations of Banishment involve walking through the house reciting or reading words of power aloud that call for the expulsion of unwanted energies or entities. This method will generally benefit from a close connection to the source material and/or a close working relationship with one's spirit allies.

In many cases, a mixture of two or more of these approaches will be used in conjuctjon to purify a home.

As for domestic protection magic, that's another subject with innumerable approaches. Additionally, most useful domestic protection magic I've encountered seems to focus on particular facets of protection (which is why my home is layered with multiple wards). As such, I struggle a little bit to think of a concise and clear way to discuss this aspect of your question. However, here are some links to previous posts in which I've discussed things like:

Protecting the home from Intruders

Protecting the home from Storms

Protecting the home from Fire

Protecting the home from Malefic Forces

A Generalized Property Ward

Additionally, I believe that developing a close working relationship with the spirirt of one's home—called a Genius Domi in my tradition—is probably one of the best ways to establish magical guardianship of the house.

[rayesgenesis]

i saw your post asking for requests, i hope this is something that inspires but its of course totally fine if not!

i was thinking, uma and mal x reader poly (absolutely cool if you dont do that, just uma is fine then) and fem!ak!reader is trying out for the tourney team right after the barrier is taken down so everything in auradon is changing, but the coach/existing team members dont want to let just one random girl try out

…but they cant say no to literally THE uma and mal, who decide to try out with reader to support her (they dont really actually wanna be on the team, but u can decide if they end up really liking it! ((i think itd really funny if badass icon mal kinda sucks at tourney 😭 while her gfs r absolutely wiping the floor w the other contestants in tryouts)))

TRIPLE THREAT

a/n: tysm for this request!! i’ve never done a poly fic so it’s a first.. lemme know if you like itt 💌 i had so much fun writing it & i tried to keep it cutesy while being very demure and very mindful

who? uma x mal x fem!ak reader

warnings; shit description of a tourney game, barely proofread this

wc: 1.19k

summary: the tourney team tried to stop you from trying out.. not on your girlfriends’ watch.

anything is possible. that’s how you felt like when the barrier came down. you were always taught that it was a fantasy, there wouldn’t be such thing as villains & heroes sharing the same space anymore. it wasn’t right. yet, here you were, relieved to see the barrier brought down.

you were mainly excited for your girlfriends, uma and mal, to finally achieve something that was both a pat on the back and a way to give hope to people. a step towards change. it was inspiring.

this very feeling of hope hung in the air over the following weeks, leading you to the school’s tourney team tryouts. you always wished you could play tourney however it was a sport full of men. no such thing as a women’s team yet. and they were finally hosting tryouts for the new season. besides, with all these incoming students from the isle, it was only right to give everyone a fair chance.

you just hoped it applied to you too.

once on the field, you felt very alone amongst the other candidates. you almost talked yourself out of this as you felt the guys’ stares. you were the only girl there. maybe it wasn’t worth the humiliation.

when chad called out your name, he brought the call sheet closer to his face, making sure he read that right. you took a deep breath before stepping forward with clenched fists and chad looked even more confused.

"beautiful. uh, why are you..here?"

"i’m here for the tryouts." you made sure to act as natural as possible.

chad laughed. he usually did when he thought someone made a joke he didn’t understand.

"what’s so funny about that, chad?"

your head turned at the sound of the female voice emerging from the crowd. it was mal. she had been so busy lately, you hadn’t expected her to remember you trying out for the team when you mentioned it in passing a couple nights ago, but she did. she was there with you and you could finally breathe properly. once you could make out her figure, you couldn’t stop beaming.

she came to stand right by your side, her eyes quickly glancing at you while giving your hand a squeeze before returning her narrowed eyes on the boy.

"sorry…" he winced, pretending to apologize. "we just don’t do girls.."

another voice cut him off.

"and why is that?"

you couldn’t help but smirk to yourself when uma’s voice chimed in. it was almost no surprise that she showed up as well. whenever mal was around, uma wasn’t far away and neither were you. your doubts slowly faded away.

"who’s talking now?"

"i said why is that, don’t make me repeat myself." uma’s signature assertiveness came through and your smirk widened. her tone was threatening yet composed, but everyone could feel it. chad started stammering and coach jenkins came around.

"hey, hey, hey now. what’s all this." chad mumbled in his ear quickly and the coach looked up at you. he gestured for chad to stop chirping in his ear before speaking up again.

"you know we can’t let you do that miss."

you scoffed. "you can’t let me try out for the team? that’s ridiculous! you haven’t even seen what i can do!"

still, coach shook his head and your shoulders slightly slumped. behind your back, uma and mal gave eachother a quick look before speaking.

"we’ll try out with her." uma announced. you looked back at them and mouthed what are you doing. neither of them answered you they just kept on going.

"yeah, if she’s no good then by all means, never let her be near a tourney field ever again. but if she’s amazing, which she is, you gotta let her on the team. whatever the rules from whatever ancient book might say." mal added, just as confident.

everyone turned to look at the coach, who was considering their proposition. he couldn’t risk upsetting the two girls who helped bringing all these new students.

"alright, fine. you can all tryout for team. " he asked chad to go get you, mal and uma some uniforms so you could get changed. you finally turned around to face them with raised eyebrows.

"guys…. what was that?" you chuckled.

"don’t worry about it." uma said. you looked at mal and she winked at you. you rolled your eyes but you were melting at them supporting you like that. your arms extended and they came to hug you.

"i’m so glad you’re here." you whispered.

once you all got in the attire, your eyes lingered on your girlfriends, trying to commit to mind how hot they both looked right now. mal turned around and caught you staring. your eyes diverted quickly. she smirked.

"by the way, you look really good in that jersey babe" a warm feeling spread all over your face and you tried to not smile but you couldn’t. your girlfriends’ words always had that effect on you.

your mind was still on that comment when you started running laps, doing sit-ups & push ups. then you moved onto technical skills by throwing, passing, defending and shooting. which you had to admit, uma was pretty good at. mal though, not so much.

finally, came the mock-game. one goal. that’s all it was going to take for you to get in.

mal retired to the side to cheer you and uma on. she quickly understood that she was way better at watching tourney than actually playing it. she also had a hard time not burning the whole field to the ground with those flying projectiles being thrown at her.

once the whistle was blown, you looked to uma who was about to make a pass at you. the ball was in your hands, and you ran like hell towards the other end of the field. your technique was so precise, you were able to avoid/escape the other guys’ attempt to corner you and stop you from scoring. the other team members were whispering to eachother on the side, visibly surprised by your performance.

when you actually scored, you yelled from the top of your lungs. it was a cry, really. you couldn’t keep it in anymore. uma ran towards you and you jumped on her. she spun you around to celebrate and when you came down, you pecked her lips with your hands on her cheeks. you kissed mal as well when she ran and jumped on you.

after your little celebration, your eyes all went to coach jenkins. you tried to hold in the giant smirk that threatened to overtake your whole expression. after a beat, he smiled.

"you’re in."

you shrieked and celebrated with your girlfriends once more. you felt like you paved a way for something somehow, but you tried to not think about it too much.

on your way towards the cheerleaders locker room uma spoke up.

"i get why you like it. this is actually the most fun i’ve had in a while." she admitted. you were surprised to hear her say that.

"yeah? you should join the team. you’re really good, uma." you said.

"yeah, maybe."

[builtbybrokenbells]

Melodic Memories | Track 3: I Need You - Lynyrd Skynyrd (1 of 2)

In a tattered old box shoved deep down in the corner of an overfilled closet, a lifetimes worth of memories lie dormant at the bottom waiting to be rediscovered.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 19.5k

Warnings: sadness, heartbreak, crying, high school breakups, unrequited love, estranged parent/strained parental relationships, angst, anger, bickering, name calling, depression, anxiety, self doubt/self consciousness, swearing, flirting, fluff, drinking, smoking, mentions of hookups/casual sex, sorry if I miss any!

Here’s part one of two 😁 part two is finished, but i gotta build some suspense. let me know what you think and we’ll see what happens in pt. 2! as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes!

Also a special shout-out to @gretavangroupie and @gretavanmoon for always keeping me on track, putting up with my craziness, and for the unwavering support and encouragement 🤍 melodic memories wouldn’t be what it is without you 😌

Her POV

‘Ain't no need to worry

There ain't no use to cry

'Cause I'll be comin' home soon

To keep you satisfied

You know I get so lonely

That I feel I can't go on

And it feels so good inside, babe

Just to call you on the telephone

And I said—‘

“Do I even want to know why this one’s on here?” Mel chortled, reaching out and pressing the pause button on the CD player. The music cut out, silence filling the air around you, instantly making you miss the sound of the sweet melody. Worse yet, it made you miss the boy who burned it into the tracklist to begin with.

“What can I say? We were romantics.” You shrugged, leaning back in your chair and kicking your feet up on the desk. “Guess this one doesn’t really have a memory, per se. More or less just lots of listening.” You giggled, feeling more at ease with the reminiscent music as time dragged on.

It had been a few weeks since you reached out to Jake, a few weeks since you threw the entire universe off course and opened your heart to him once again. Most of your room was packed up now, only a few items still waiting to be thrown out or stuffed in a box. Although you’d made lots of great progress on your most pressing task, packing up boxes had not been the highlight of the weeks that had flown by. Instead of buzzing with excitement over your long awaited move, you were filled with joy that Jake was back around. Since the fated phone call that left you with so many questions and regrets, time was allowing answers and comforts over the things you never believed would resolve. The conversation between you was constant, only slowing when you were asleep, and phone calls were almost a daily routine, so long as his schedule allowed for it.

There wasn’t much talk of what the two of you were, or really what you were doing, but you did know it felt good to wake up to his name on your screen every day. You were getting to know each other again, slowly but surely, through drawn out bouts of heavy flirtation. He was sending loads of pictures as he traveled across Europe, ensuring you didn’t miss out on a single bit of his life now that he had you back around.

“Listening? What does that—oh, god, Y/N!” Mel exclaimed, recoiling in faux outrage. “This was your sex song?!” A shriek of laughter erupted from you, the expression of disgust on her face unusually funny to you. “Gross. You’re gross, you know.” She muttered, flipping to the next page of your senior yearbook.

“You were the one who said it, Mel.” You stressed your point, clicking the play button so the tune would continue. “And it wasn’t our sex song.” You corrected her on the matter, your tone short. “We had lots of sex songs, and even though this happened to be one, it’s more than just that.”

“Ugh,” she shuddered, her eyes flickering towards you. “I want to ask, but I’m not sure I want to know.”

“It was our everything song.” You shrugged. “My grandfather loved Skynyrd, and I guess he passed that down to me. Used to listen to ‘Second Helping’ over and over again when he worked outside. Could recite that album better than the bible.”

“Yeah, like you’re a godly person.” She rolled her eyes.

“You get what I mean.” You tossed the stress ball you were playing with at her head, over her dramatics and eager to tell the story.

“When we got together, I used to beg Jake to learn how to play Free Bird. Guess I never understood how hard that actually was, but eventually, he learned it anyway. It was horrible, awful, even, but he did it for me, and that’s what mattered.”

“Bet he looked hot doing it, though.” She hummed, recalling the many Instagram pictures she’d scrolled through. You narrowed your gaze, unsure if you should be upset about the statement or not. After a moment of bargaining, you decided not to take her words to heart in hopes to avoid any misplaced jealousy.

“Yeah, he definitely did.” You chuckled, conceding as you recalled the memory. He did look hot playing it, but then again, he always did. You couldn’t argue with her when she was right.

“Okay, but Free Bird isn’t on here. Why is this one important?”

“Well, Free Bird is a long song.” She let out a sigh, growing tired of waiting. A small smile pulled at your lips, knowing your drawn out rendition of the tale was torturous to her. “So, in the meantime, he learned this. Said it was easier, and more fitting, because that’s exactly how he felt about me.”

“Was your whole relationship just him leaning to play songs for you?” She asked, envious of all the grand romantic gestures. From all you told her, she quickly understood why he was so hard for you to forget.

“Not all of it, but a lot of it.” You chuckled, tapping the cap of your pen against your notebook. On the paper sat a list of the items you would need to purchase for your new apartment. Even the exciting prospect of moving out and surviving on your own couldn’t compare to the storm of thoughts that you were constantly stuck in, always pertaining to the same boy. “He was a big blues guy, and I guess we got along so well because I was, too. He showed me so much music, and I still listen to most of it.” You explained, smiling to yourself as you thought back on it. “After he played that song for me, it kinda turned into our anthem, I guess. Wherever we went, whatever we were doing, it was always in the background. Lots of road trips and beach days spent with this song, and some fantastic memories made to it. And yeah, lots of sex, too.” You sighed, dreamily reminiscing on the best days of your entire life. As you stared off at the ceiling, a pillow went flying, striking you straight in the face and abruptly ending that train of thought.

“God, you talk about it like it was phenomenal, or something. You were in high school, it couldn’t have been that good.” She rolled onto her back, holding the yearbook over her head as she continued to search for pictures of you. You giggled to yourself, tossing the pillow back to the bed. It landed beside her with a pathetic bounce, and you watched it until it fell still again.

“It was that good though.” You said, your eyes fluttering closed as you thought back to the time. “Maybe it’s because I was in love with him, but to me, it was always that good.”

“Gross, Y/N.” She teased, not actually as bothered as she was letting on. “Seriously, though. He seems great. Even after all this time, he still really loves you.” Your cheeks turned crimson, your entire body encased with warmth at the term. Love was something you were trying to push from your mind, especially because the two of you never declared that you would be rekindling the romance. There was so much up in the air, so much uncertainty, but it wasn’t a bad feeling for once. For the first time in a long time, you were excited about tomorrow and what it would bring. “Holy shit!” She exclaimed, shooting upright. You jumped in surprise, not expecting such a reaction from her.

“What is your issue?” You asked, laying a hand over your racing heart.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” she announced, reading straight from the page. You let out a groan, knowing she found the seniors section of the yearbook, and you were about to be subjected to some intense scrutiny. “Can’t imagine without: Kiszka twins and my AP bio textbook. Probably destiny: married to Jake Kiszka. Pet peeves: open-mouthed chewing, being late. First love: Jim Morrison—fair enough. Weaknesses: guitarists and brown eyes. God, you were so whipped.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“No, it’s cute, really.” She giggled, looking over the photo of you before flipping to the next page. “Ah, Jacob Thomas Kiszka. He was a cutie, huh? Can’t imagine without: my guitar, Y/N, my brothers. Probable destiny: playing guitar on stage somewhere, married to Y/N. Pet peeves: broken patch cord, Josh. Weaknesses: High E String, sunshine. I take it you’re sunshine?”

“Shut up.” You groaned, your face burning as you tried to disappear into your seat. You knew she was having fun, and you couldn’t take that away from her, but reliving all of the embarrassing high school memories was incredibly painful.

“Y/N Y/L/N, most likely to rule the world.” She raised an eyebrow, casting a glance in your direction. You gave a shrug, chuckling slightly at her expression.

“They thought I was smart, I guess.”

“Was it in a world domination way, or like a peace-love-harmony kind of way?” She pressed, leaning into the conversation as she awaited an answer.

“Depended on the day, really.” You grinned.

“Jacob Kiszka, most likely to win a Grammy.”

“And he did.” You beamed, your stomach fluttering with pride as you said it.

“When are you getting me a rockstar boyfriend?” She huffed, only slightly envious of how the cards played out for you.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You squeaked, shutting the idea down before it could go any further. “We’re just old friends catching up. That’s all it is.”

“Yeah, sure.” She laughed, unable to agree with that statement. “You talk nonstop, and his name still has a heart beside it in your phone. You’re so in love I’m surprised you can even think of anything else.”

“Mel, would you quit it? It’s not that serious!” You tried to downplay it, defending yourself against the accusations and only ever making yourself look more guilty.

As you were about to continue your argument, your ringtone began to sound through the room, the soft melody of Dreams by Fleetwood Mac filling your ears. She raised an eyebrow, biting back a knowing smirk as she patiently waited to hear who the call was from. You pulled your phone from your pocket, your eyes drifting over the screen. Your cheeks darkened and your embarrassment grew as you saw the little red heart beside his name, but answered without any hesitation.

“Hi.” You fought back a smile, finding your heart racing as his face graced your screen. You noticed the background of the picture, his head resting on a car seat and the ambient sound of wheels on pavement filling your ears. There was quiet chatter coming from the backseat, barely noticeable even if you were straining to listen.

“Hi, sunshine.” He grinned, his eyes heavy like he’d just woken up from sleep, or perhaps he was trying his best to fight it. It had been a long time since you saw the expression on his face, it was unfamiliar now. The gravelly tone of his voice, low and slow, led you to believe he was just waking. “What are you up to?”

“Packing, as usual.” You sighed, holding the phone away from your face and spinning in your chair, showing him the plethora of boxes laying around your room. “We found my old yearbook, so we took a break to look through it.”

“Find anything good?” He asked, amused at the thought of you taking that walk down memory lane.

“She didn’t, but I definitely did.” Mel cut in, making her presence known in the best way she knew how; loudly and annoyingly.

“Hey, Mel.” Jake laughed, recognizing the tone from previous phone calls. You kicked your chair towards the bed, holding your phone a little higher so she was in frame too.

“Hello, Jacob.” She beamed. “Did you know that Y/N’s first love was Jim Morrison?” She began, her eyes flickering towards you as she spoke.

“Okay, Mel—“ you tried, but Jake cut you off mid sentence, liking the direction the conversation was headed in.

“I did know that, actually.” He grinned, blinking a few more times as he sat up in his seat. “What else did you find?”

“Oh, nothing too serious.” She sighed, pretending to ponder the question. “I did happen to learn that her weaknesses, apparently, are guitarists with brown eyes. What a coincidence, right?”

“Huh, that is strange.” He giggled, his cheeks dusted pink as he listened to her words. “Still true, sweetheart?” He asked, his question pointed at you now.

“Yeah, I guess.” You smiled, speaking softly and sweetly. “Happen to know anyone who fits the bill?”

“I do, actually.” A voice cut in from the backseat, half a head popping into view of the camera. Your eyes lit up, your smile blinding as you recognized the boy in view.

“Sam!” You exclaimed, barely noticing Jake landing a sharp smack on his arm. He didn’t have much time to greet you, because Jake was pushing him back into his seat and telling him to mind his own business.

“Sorry ‘bout him.” Jake cleared his throat, sending a threatening stare over his shoulder. “You know how he is. Loves being the center of attention, and he never got over that crush he had in the eighth grade.” You heard a shout of protest from the backseat, but neither of you paid any mind to it.

“Sounds like someone else I know.” You gave a playful roll of your eyes, teasing him despite there being some truth to the statement.

“Kiszka curse, I suppose.” He shrugged. “What else did you find, Mel?”

“In 2014, you said your weakness was sunshine.” Mel continued, looking back at the book to double check if the statement was correct. “You like the sun, Jacob?” He chuckled to himself, his eyes sparkling with nothing but adoration as he watched your face. He continued to focus on you as he replied.

“Yeah, I do. I love sunshine, Mel. Always have.” Your entire body warmed with the sweetness of his words, your stomach filled with butterflies and your heartbeat rapidly against your chest.

“Hmm,” she hummed, an evil little smirk on her lips. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Alright, that’s enough.” You huffed, trying your best to digest his words and move on from the subject. Focusing on it would do nothing but worsen the blossoming feelings in your chest, and you were doing everything in your power to keep them at bay. “Where are you headed, anyway?” You tried to change the topic, hoping it would lessen the tugging of your heartstrings.

“I’m glad you asked, sunshine.” He grinned, making the intent of his last statement even more obvious. “Since we’ve got a few weeks before our next show, the boys and I got to talking, and we decided to visit home for a few days.”

“Home?” You asked, leaning forward in your seat at the new information. “Like, Michigan?” You tried not to let your excitement get the best of you, but your hands were vibrating, making it difficult to hold the phone steady. The prospect of possibly being able to see Jake again, in person rather than through a screen, was almost too much to take.

“Where else, sweetheart?” He smiled, noticing your eyes light up at the realization. Of course, to his brothers, Michigan was home. To him though, the state had little to do with the homesickness ravaging his heart. The only thing that made it feel like home was you, and that’s exactly what he was headed towards. Like an invisible rope tying the two of you together, he’d been feeling the pull ever since you decided to break the no contact rule you had put in place so long ago.

“You’re really on your way here?” You asked, needing the confirmation to believe he was telling the truth.

“Here now, actually. Checked into the hotel a few hours ago and we’re headed to see our parents.” He clarified further, sending a small smile your way.

“So that’s why you’ve barely been texting me!” You exclaimed, finally piecing the two together. “You suck at lying, and you’re terrible at keeping secrets.” You giggled, knowing it for a fact and knowing it better than anyone else. Every gift, every date, every moment spent together was never anything close to a surprise, but it was perfectly fine by you; you loved the excitement in his eyes when he was about to share something with you, loving you so much that he couldn’t bear to keep a single thought to himself.

“Yeah, yeah, you caught me.” He conceded, knowing there was no winning that fight. “If you’re free tonight, I’d love to see you. Maybe take you out for dinner or a drink, for old times sake?” He offered, holding his breath as he awaited a reply. He’d been eager to ask, but anxious about your response, spending the entire drive psyching himself up to find the courage.

You were stunned at the idea, unable to believe that his first thought was you, that he would miss out on precious time spent with his family to take you out to dinner. You wanted to go, more than anything else in the world, but you couldn’t deny the nervous energy that filled you as soon as he suggested it. So far, it had been incredibly difficult to keep your feelings to yourself as you spent countless hours on the phone with him, and you knew it would be even harder if he was right in front of you. In fact, you knew it would be impossible to think of anything other than the way you felt about him, and that made you want to decline.

Still, you were so scared of getting your heart broken that you were willing to deny yourself of the only thing you ever wanted.

As sneakily as possible, Mel reached forward and delivered a sharp smack to your leg, snapping you from your thoughts and forcing you to answer. “I, uh… I’d love to, Jake. I just gotta check and make sure there’s nothing planned, you know? I-I just want to make sure before I say yes.”

You couldn’t see her, but the eye roll Mel found herself giving was glaringly obvious to Jake, who could see her plain as day in the background.

“She’d love to go, Jake. We have absolutely nothing planned.” Mel corrected, doing her best not to deliver another hit to your leg for being so ridiculous. You bit down on your tongue, your stomach swirling with anxiety as you looked at the clock on the wall. “Right, Y/N?”

“Right.” You squeaked, knowing there was no backing out, now. “Nothing planned.” You forced a smile on your face, trying your best to stay calm. You felt like running a lap around the house, just to rid yourself of the nervous jitters that began to creep up on you. You wanted to see him so badly, but you had no idea how to keep it PG with him. How could you when he looked so fucking stunning, all of the time?

“Okay.” Jake chuckled, noticing the tension between you. “If you’ve got nothing else going on, I can pick you up at six?” He asked, making sure the time was good for you.

“Six is great.” Mel assured him. “See you soon! Can’t wait to meet you!” She sang, reaching over and hitting the end call button in a flash. As soon as the call disconnected, you whipped around to face her, a grievous look in your eye.

“Nothing planned!? Six is great?!” You shouted, furious with her for forcing your hand in the matter.

“Oh my god, Y/N! What is wrong with you?” She groaned, covering her face with her hands to hide her secondhand embarrassment. “The man of your dreams magically shows up after six years, drives to Michigan just to see you, and you have to check if you have other plans?!”

“You don’t get to decide that for me!” You exploded, sitting completely upright in your seat. “What if I’m not ready for this? How am I supposed to keep it casual when I’m still in love with the guy?!” She closed her eyes, calming herself down before she reached forward. Both of her hands landed on your shoulders, her grip firm as she literally shook you out of your own thoughts.

“Listen to me.” She urged. “Stop trying to ruin this for yourself! This is the opportunity of a lifetime, Y/N. Don’t you get that? He loves you, you love him, stop trying to run away from it!” She gave you a small shake with every word that fell from her lips. As she spoke, you managed to swallow back the ball of anxiety that was choking you, allowing you to breathe for a second.

“I’m scared, Mel. I’m terrified. Don’t you get that?” You sighed, reaching up and holding her arms to ground yourself. You closed your eyes and let your head fall towards the floor. “He was my biggest heartbreak, and my greatest love. It’s fantastic that he’s back in my life, but I’m so scared of losing him that it makes me want to tell him to leave. I don’t want to open my heart up like that again, because it nearly killed me last time.”

“Stop living in the future, and stop thinking about the past.” She said, her voice much softer as she understood your fears a little better. “Think about you, right now. Think about how happy you are when you talk to him, about how good it makes you feel. Babe, you haven’t been this happy in… well, ever. Open your heart a little bit. Let him in. You don’t have to give everything all at once, but you can’t give him nothing at all.”

“That’s the hard part. I’ve never known how to meet in the middle. I want to give him everything, all of the time.” You groaned. You let your head fall back on your shoulders, resting against the back of the chair as you bargained with her. She had good points, but she didn’t know the version of you that was in love with Jake. She didn’t know how much you would give just to make him happy, how much you would give just to love him.

“The universe gave you a chance to start over, Y/N. You have to take it.” She sighed, knowing that she was wasting her breath. “Don’t shut him out, because in six years, we’ll be sitting here doing this all over again.” You stayed silent for a moment, biting down on the inside of your lip as you contemplated everything she had to say.

Could you really force yourself away from him? Could you really walk away after spending so long eager to run back to him? Could you stomach the pain of sitting here again in the future, suffering because you let him slip through your fingers twice?

Of course you couldn’t; Jake was the whole reason your heart beat, the thing that forced you out of bed and the last thought that lulled you to sleep. He was the birds singing in the morning sky, and the stars twinkling in unison with the moonlight. He was the only thing you wanted, and he was the whole world.

You wanted to love him until you couldn’t possibly love any more, and even then you would try harder. He was worth it to you; the risk, the pain, the sadness and sacrifice was all worth a minute of his time, and a single second of his love.

“Okay.” You breathed, slapping your palms down onto your knees. “I have to take it.” You agreed, giving a curt nod of your head. You were terrified, horrified at the thought of this meaning something different to him as it did to you. You couldn’t stomach the idea of him showing up at your door and realizing that he didn’t want you like he thought he did, but you stood anyhow, glancing at the clock as you worked up the courage to take a step. “Oh, god.” You whined, feeling the pre-date panic begin to set in. “I only have an hour.”

“Let’s get to work, then.” She grinned, happy to hear you were finally on the same page. “You go shower, I’ll find you something to wear.” She said, ushering you out the door.

“Yeah, okay.” You agreed, rushing towards the hallway and into the bathroom. You shut the door behind you, your heart pounding in your chest and your mind racing. You took a long breath to calm yourself, then discarded your clothes on the floor. You flipped the shower on, stepping in as the water warmed. You washed your hair, letting the conditioner sit in while you washed the rest of your body. As you were clipping the mound of hair to the top of your head, you heard a knock at the door. Within a few moments, it was open and Mel was talking.

“Are you shaving?”

“Get out.” You laughed, finding her invasive nature comforting. She had always been the same, overbearing and a little controlling, but for the best reasons. You were grateful for her, even if she was a little much, especially in such a chaotic time. “Should I shave? Is sex implied?” You asked, beginning to panic again. “Is sex implied?” You asked again, a little more frantic.

“You should shave.” She said, simple but very clear with her intent. Your stomach twisted with another wave of nerves, but you obliged anyway.

When you were clean, she left you alone to dry yourself off. You did your skincare as fast as you could, securing the towel around your body as you walked back to your room to see what outfit she had chosen for you. She stood by the bed, hand on her hip as three outfits laid out on the mattress, awaiting your decision. You stepped forward, looking at all of them before turning your head towards her, your eyes wide and your lips turned down into a frown.

“Mel!” You scolded, noticing that all of the choices seemed to be lacking one thing; coverage. She picked the skimpiest outfits she could find, and with your eyes on the clock, you felt your anxiety begin to take over once again. “I can’t wear any of this!”

“Sure you can!” She smiled, moving to pick a dress up from the bed. She held it to her body, her eyebrows raised as she waited to hear your thoughts.

“I’m going on a date, not a frat party!” You exclaimed, stressed that she was so insistent on you wearing one of the three. The clothes looked like they walked straight out of her freshman year closet, much too wild for the woman who she was trying to force them upon.

“Ugh, fine.” She rolled her eyes, turning back to a box on the floor. “I knew you’d argue with me, so here.” She sighed, picking a dress from the top. Your shoulders relaxed as your eyes drifted over the soft, red material.

“That’s better.” You said, a wordless thank you in your tone as you grabbed it. Once you were back in the bathroom, you dropped the towel and slipped the dress over your head. You fixed the spaghetti straps and settled the slip on your legs. The flowy material was as comfortable as it was pretty, and the neckline showed just enough to catch his eye, but not enough to show off. “Much better.” You muttered to yourself, smiling at your reflection in the mirror.

“Are you decent?” Mel asked through the door, impatiently waiting in the hall.

“Yes.” You rolled your eyes, twisting the knob and opening the door to let her inside.

“That looks really good on you.” She complimented, straightening the back of the skirt as she set your makeup bags on the counter. Under her arm was a curling iron, a blow dryer and a box of rollers.

“Thanks.” You hummed, drumming your fingers against the countertop. The surplus of energy coursing through you was unlike anything you’d ever felt before, and you could barely hold yourself still.

“Hey,” she spoke softly, catching your attention as she unraveled the cord for the blow dryer. “Relax. It’s gonna be fine.” She assured you, plugging the cord into the wall.

“You’re right.” You breathed, pulling the towel from your head. “It’s just been so long since I’ve seen him. I’m really nervous.”

“Really? Couldn’t tell.” She chuckled, bringing the blow dryer to your hair as she combed through it. It didn’t take long for the strands to dry and she was plugging the curling iron in to warm. While you waited, you started on your makeup, checking the time to make sure you weren’t running late.

You took a break from makeup while she curled the ends of your hair, twisting the locks around the rollers and pinning them to your head to set. She finished with the hair framing your face, and you continued to paint your face in the mirror. When you swiped on a layer of lip gloss, you leaned in to get a closer look, fixing any imperfections as you studied your reflection.

“You look beautiful.” She said, easing your worries. As she pulled the rollers from your hair, she gave a small spray of hairspray to each one, then combed it all out for you. “And just on time.” She said, tapping your phone screen to check the clock.

“Thank you for your help. I’m sorry I got so… worked up.” You murmured, guilty over your harsh words and stubborn attitude.

“No need to apologize. I know you, babe. I know what I signed up for.” She giggled, fluffing your hair ever so slightly. She pulled a few curls over your shoulder, then nudged you towards the door. “He should be here any minute.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Always am.” She grinned, pulling the door open and allowing you to step out first.

You stopped by your bedroom, grabbing your purse and clasping a gold chain around your neck. You rummaged around an old jewelry box, finding some gold hoops to go with it, and sprayed on some perfume. When you felt certain you were ready, you made your way towards the stairs. Before your foot even hit the top step, you heard the doorbell chime, and your stomach plummeted. Mel was behind you, close enough to ensure you would turn and hide. You swallowed hard, slowly making your way down the steps. Your palms were clammy and your chest was tight, but you couldn’t ignore the excitement blossoming deep in your heart.

Your mom had rushed to the door, uncertain of who could be visiting so late in the evening. You felt bad, realizing you should have told her long before that moment. As your feet hit the linoleum of the kitchen floor, you heard a loud noise, your mothers excitement almost too much for her to handle. “Jacob Kiszka, look at you!” She fawned over the man that stood before her, her voice echoing through the entire house. Your steps became slower, shorter as you grew closer to the entryway. Mel was behind you, encouraging you to keep moving forward despite your mind begging you to run away. “Gosh, you’re all grown up now. Another one of my babies.” You could hear her tone become muffled, likely because he’d pulled her into a hug, because he’d always been so loving to her, too.

“You ready?” Mel whispered, her chin practically resting on your shoulder.

“Not at all.” You shook your head, more anxious than you’d ever been.

“Y/N! Come look who’s here!” Your mom shouted into the hallway, not realizing you were standing a few feet away from her. With one last breath of courage, you rounded the corner and stepped into view.

Jake’s POV

As she appeared in front of you, you were certain the world stopped turning. There seemed to be a golden glow surrounding her, radiating from her as she stepped towards you; sunshine, but even brighter and more beautiful than the burnt up old star in the sky. A long forgotten warmth washed over you, comforting and loving, just like it felt to be in her company when you were eighteen. She was different, her face reflecting the time that had passed but leaving her even more beautiful than she was before. The smile on her lips nearly sent you to your knees before her, begging for just one more chance to show her how much she meant to you, but you kept your composure as you studied her.

There were freckles splattered across the bridge of her nose, the ones that splayed into perfect little constellations you once considered yourself an expert on. They only came out in the summertime, when her days were spent outside and under the sun that could only envy her and the light she provided. The dress she was wearing stopped mid thigh, showing off the knees that were still littered with scars from years spent riding bikes and tripping over shoelaces. Her hair was much longer, like she hadn’t cut it at all since you last saw her, and it too was graced by the sun and lighter than it was in the winter months.

The crinkles by her eyes when she smiled, so similar to how they were when you were in high school, but just a little more pronounced. Age had been kind to her, and you were certain that as the years continued to pass, she would only ever grow more beautiful.

You were nervous, your entire day leaving you near insanity as you planned and perfected the evening, and insanity creeping closer as you called to ask her to join you for the night. You knew her hesitation was likely due to the same reasons as your own, but you couldn’t help the stab in your chest you felt when Mel answered for her. Now, seeing her all dolled up and sheepish as she stood before you, her hands linked together in front of her as she shied away from eye contact, you knew she wanted to see you as bad as you wanted to see her.

After six years spent wandering, aimless and hopeful for something to change, it finally did. The struggle, the fear and the hurt all made sense, because she was standing in front of you again.

She was still yours, just like you were still very much hers.

Her POV

As your eyes connected with his own, you nearly fell to your knees in grief. In a single second, you found yourself mourning the boy you used to love and falling desperately for the man who stood in his place. His hair was even longer than it seemed in the video calls, framing the perfect picture of his face. It was pushed back slightly by the sunglasses sat atop his head, keeping the strands from his eyes. His eyes, brown and beautiful, giving you that long awaited relief from your everlasting sense of homesickness.

He was wearing a tan button up shirt, only the last three buttons secure. Over top was a white, weathered blazer, loose on him and the sleeves cuffed once off his wrists. His pants matched the color of the blazer, the button up tucked in messily and the peek of a brown leather belt showing. There was a pendant around his neck, drawing your attention to his chest that was exposed through the peek of his shirt. There was a watch around his wrist, and a ring on his middle finger.

He was positively beautiful, and you couldn’t manage to take your eyes off of him.

“Oh my god.” Mel whispered, just quiet enough for you to hear. She was thinking all the same things, and you couldn’t blame her a bit. He was gorgeous, and you were doing everything in your power not to run straight into his arms.

The only thing that made the scene better was the fact his eyes were raking over you, admiring you with the same intensity.

“Long time no see, sunshine.” He rasped, unable to tear his gaze away from you. You took a step towards him, your previous fears and worries fleeing you in an instant. Like all of those years ago, there was this irresistible pull towards him, like the universe was forcing the two of you together.

“Jake, you look…” you trailed off, your voice quiet as you approached him. “So different.” You chose your words carefully, not wanting to come on too strong.

“In a good way, I hope.” He grinned, stepping forward out of the doorway. You were close enough that you could smell his cologne, the sandalwood and amber taking over your senses and wrapping you in a familiar comfort. It was almost the same, but a little more expensive and much more tempting.

“Are you kidding?” You giggled, watching as he extended his arm and invited you in for a hug. You finally surpassed the small boundary still existing between you and fell into his arms. Your own wrapped around his torso, your chest landing against his and your head naturally falling to his shoulder. One of his strong arms snaked around your waist, his opposite hand cupping the back of your head as he held you to him.

After six years of suffering, the world finally felt right.

“You look absolutely breathtaking, sweetheart. Just like always.” He whispered, just loud enough to reach your ears. His chest rattled against your own as his words vibrated through him, only drawing you further into his touch. Despite your mother and your best friend watching the long and drawn out reunion, you never wanted him to let go. Eventually, he pulled back ever so slightly, looking down over your face but not easing his grip on you. “You always knew how to leave me speechless.”

“Don’t sound very speechless to me.” You giggled, finding the comfortability between you the same as it was so long ago.

“God,” he sighed, taking your face in his hands. His hold was gentle, his thumb gently caressing your cheek as he took in the sight of your face. It had been so long since he had you so close, and he wasn’t sure if he could ever let it go again. “It’s so good to see you, sunshine.” Your hands rested on his sides, the material of his shirt felt nice in your hands as you held him close.

“You too, bug.” You smiled, your cheeks rosy and your head swirling with excitement. “I like the mustache.” You fought the urge to reach up and touch it, knowing you would be opening a door you’d never be able to close.

“Yeah?” He chuckled, his eyes twinkling with love, just like they did when you were kids.

“Definitely. You should keep it.” You whispered, finding yourself caught in a staring contest. Neither of you seemed keen on pulling away, nor did you seem to want to stop the pull of gravity forcing you together.

“If you say so.” He chuckled, knowing now that you said that, he’d never want to shave it off.

“Let me introduce you to Mel, then we can get going.” You breathed, your stomach sick at the thought of pulling away from him. His hand drifted down your cheek, his calloused fingertips tickling your neck as he made sure to admire every inch of you. He didn’t want to separate either, but he knew he had a whole night of having you to himself.

“Yeah, f’course.” He nodded, letting his hand ghost over your shoulder and down your arm. The light touch sent a shiver down your spine, your skin littered with goosebumps and the hair on the back of your neck standing straight. You couldn’t believe he still had such an effect on you.

You took a step back, noticing his fingers trail all the way down your forearm and lightly dust your own. You had to fight every urge not to interlock your fingers with his, trying to push the thought from your head as you turned to face Mel.

“This is Jake.” You said, sending her a nervous smile.

“Nice to finally meet you, Jacob. I’m Mel.” She stepped forward, extending her hand for him to shake. “I’ve heard lots about you.”

“Good things, I hope.” He gave a nervous chuckle, accepting her gesture. “I’ve heard lots about you, too.”

“All bad things, I assume.” At that, the two shared a laugh, the nerves of the first meeting wearing off immediately. You couldn’t help but feel your heart warm at the sight of them laughing together, your two favorite people in the whole world.

“Thanks for letting me steal her from you tonight.” He smiled, feeling a need to express his gratitude.

“Take care of her, okay?” She asked, sending a soft smile your way. “Not much we don’t do together, so someone has to keep her out of trouble.”

“You have my word.” He promised, knowing he would always do everything he could to keep you safe. He turned to you, eager to get you alone so he could finally catch up with you properly.

“You ready to head out?” You asked, catching his eye.

“Yeah,” he nodded, but seemed slightly hesitant on the idea. You cocked your head to the side, curious about his reaction. “I just… before we do, can I meet your cat?” He asked, almost embarrassed by the question. You swallowed hard, your heart drumming in your chest as you tried not to melt into a puddle of emotion before his very eyes.

“Let me get him.” Mel grinned, stepping back into the kitchen and grabbing a bag of treats from the counter. She gave it a shake, the familiar sound filling the stale air. When it was met with silence, she gave it another shake, louder and slightly more aggressive. Within a few seconds, the jingle of a bell could be heard, and Ozz came bounding down the stairs, enticed by the idea of getting something to eat.

Once he was within range, Mel reached down and scooped him up in her arms. He let out a meow of protest, but snuggled into her hold despite his feelings on the matter. She rejoined the group, offering Jake the bag of treats as she held the little black cat to her chest.

“Me?” He asked, taking them from her and looking at the bag in surprise.

“What better way to make a first impression?” You giggled, watching as he opened the ziplock bag and poured a few out in his hand. Ozz’s ears perked up, his head turning towards Jake as he realized what was happening. Jake stepped forward, offering the treats straight from his hand. Ozz leaned forward, giving a hesitant sniff as he tried to decide if Jake was a threat, but eventually fell to the temptation of food.

You couldn’t help but admire the sweetness of the moment, noticing the childlike glee in Jake’s eyes as he tried to make a bond with the pet you dreamed of having since you were young. When the treats were gone, he reached up and scratched behind his ear. Ozz’s eyes closed and you could hear him purring even from a distance. Jake was precious, in every moment of every day, and you couldn’t deny the tugging of your heartstrings as you watched the scene unfold.

“I think he likes you.” You stated, your arms crossed over your chest as a smile pulled at your lips.

“He passed the test.” Mel agreed, looking between the two of you. Eventually, her eyes settled on Jake and she stepped closer, offering her arms out to him. “You want to hold him.”

“W-what?” Jake asked, almost nervous at the thought. “I mean, yeah. S’long as he’s okay with it.”

“Trust me, he’ll be fine with it.” You chuckled, watching as Jake slowly took the cat from her arms. With little problem, Ozz seemed to settle comfortably, looking up in curiosity at the unfamiliar, long-haired man. “Told you.” You said, watching as Ozz leaned closer to his face, nuzzling his head into his cheek.

“You used to talk about getting a cat all of the time.” Jake said, content with the curious cat in his arms as he looked over at you. “I’m so glad you finally did.”

“I did talk about it a lot, didn’t I?” You blushed slightly, surprised he remembered so well.

“All of the time.” He stressed his point, grinning at the memory. “He’s a sweet little thing.” Jake commented, his eyes flickering away from you for a moment. “Just like his mother.” He muttered the second part, just under his breath. You swallowed hard, your heart racing at the sound of his words. The whole thing was nearly overwhelming for you, the picture of the two too much to handle.

“Mind if I get a picture?” You asked, pulling your phone from your purse. You looked to him for approval, knowing that you wanted to remember the moment forever.

“You don’t have to ask.” He rolled his eyes, playful as you aimed your camera at him. You snapped a few pictures, your stomach twisting with an unfamiliar feeling as you selected all of them to add to an album. You scrolled all the way to the end of the page, your eyes landing on an empty album with the same name as it had all those years ago. You could handle deleting the pictures, but not the chapter in its entirety.

A small smile crossed your lips as your phone confirmed the addition to the album, the words flashing across your screen and causing your heart to beat just a little harder.

Three photos added to album: mi amor ❤️

Oh, how good it felt for there to be pictures filling it once again.

“Alright, you ready?” You giggled, watching as the curious little creature raised his head towards Jake’s, sniffing intently as he tried to familiarize himself with him.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He laughed, but didn’t seem keen on parting with Ozz. You stepped forward, catching the cat’s attention by placing a soft hand on his back. He let out a ‘mmrph’, turning to look at you and giving a slow blink. You leaned in closer, nudging the top of his head with your nose as you held yourself back from kissing him. As you found yourself immersed in the moment, you barely noticed Mel behind you, snapping a photo of the three of you together.

Carefully, you took the cat from his arms and placed him down on the floor. Then, you handed the bag of treats back to Mel. You slipped on a pair of heels you’d worn when you went to the bar a few days ago, deciding they were good enough for the occasion. Jake gave you a soft smile, his hand ghosting over your lower back as you raised your leg to tighten the strap around your heel. He was barely touching you, but your stomach was filled with butterflies, perhaps more so because of his undying need to keep you safe.

“Alright, I’ll see you later.” You turned to look at your best friend, who had a knowing look in her eye. She wouldn’t be seeing you until long after the sun rose in the sky tomorrow, but she kept that thought to herself.

“See you soon.” She replied, her eyes flickering to Jake. “Nice to meet you, finally.” She extended the sentiment towards him and he reiterated it to her. With a gentle hand, he guided you towards the door, patiently waiting as your mom pulled you into a hug.

She placed a small kiss on your cheek, holding you there for a moment to fully express her happiness for you. “Have fun, lovebug. Be safe.”

“I will, I promise.” You whispered, holding her just a little tighter. Your mom had been there for everything, celebrating every happy day and holding you for the worst of them. Still, despite seeing so many tears fall for the boy who now stood behind you, a mother’s instinct always told her that the story wasn’t over for the two of you. Seeing you back together, no matter how innocent the situation was, made the world seem right again. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she stressed, fixing the chain around your neck. “I can’t wait to hear all about it.” She hummed, just loud enough for you to hear. With that, you stepped towards the door, watching as she pulled Jake into another hug. “Always good to see you, Jacob. Try not to wait so long before your next visit, alright?”

“Of course.” He promised, sending her a smile. With that, he turned to you, and you continued on your way.

When the door shut behind him, you finally felt reality begin to catch up and the nervousness return. You dreamed of this moment for so long, and now that it was finally happening, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. He walked up beside you, looking to his side so he could catch sight of your face again. When you noticed his eyes on you, you felt your cheeks heat and your palms turn clammy. He was the same person you loved so dearly, but he was so different. You had no idea where to start, what to ask to get to know him again, and you were panicking at the silence between you. You wondered what he was thinking, if he was just as nervous as you were, or if he was as cool and collected as he was when you were kids, when nothing seemed to phase him.

“You hungry?” He finally asked, starting easy as he opened the passenger side door for you.

“Yeah, are you?” You asked, relieved that he didn’t mind taking the initiative.

“Starving.” He replied, a far away look in his eyes and he tucked your dress under your leg, not wanting it to catch in the door as he shut it. When he closed it and began walking around to the drivers side, you took a second to ponder what exactly he meant by that. His response was fitting for the conversation, but the expression on his face was something you had seen a hundred times, and you were certain it had little to do with the desire for dinner.

You swallowed hard as he climbed into the vehicle with you, starting it and turning down the radio. Before he backed out of the driveway, he took a moment to admire you.

“You look beautiful, sunshine.” He said again, making sure you knew he meant it. A small smile crossed your lips, and your stomach twisted with nerves as his hand raised to the headrest of your seat. He planted his palm firmly on the back of it, looking over his shoulder as he reversed out onto the street. The smell of his cologne hit you with full force, stronger now that you were contained in the small space. You held yourself in place, trying to ignore the urge to lean into his open arm.

It was so easy to fall back into the old routine, like no time had passed at all.

“You look pretty good yourself.” You said, shyly as you let your eyes take in the entire picture of him. “Europe treated you well.” He chuckled at your words, a little bashful himself over your comment. There was so much truth to the fact, his normally tanned skin even more sunkissed and all the more alluring. He was glowing, his hair lighter than usual and his face soft and smooth. He looked expensive, iridescent as the evening sunlight pooled in through the windshield, like he omitted his own, irresistible aura.

“Guess it did,” he shrugged, trying to play it off as if it were nothing. “Lots of sights to see, lots of days spent in the sun, and wine better than you could ever imagine.”

“Don’t make me jealous, now.” You grinned, relaxing into your seat a little more as the conversation flowed easily.

“No need to be jealous, sweetheart. I’ll take you someday, you can see it for yourself.” You couldn’t help but feel your heart beat faster at the idea, wondering if he truly meant it or if it was just because he was trying to be nice.

“Big plans, I see.” You grinned, finding yourself unable to take your eyes off of him.

“Always, sunshine.” He hummed, nodding ever so slightly as he drove through the old suburbs. “If you want to, of course.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed.” You replied, swallowing hard at the sight of one of his hands wrapped firmly around the steering wheel. His other arm rested against the door, his hand slightly hanging out the window rolled all the way down. The warm air filled the car, the chill of the AC hitting your exposed legs at the same time, sending you back to a time you remember fondly.

You wondered if he missed the Michigan summers as much as you did, the sticky air sweet and your days spent by the lake trying to combat the heat. You wondered if he remembered all the nights spent on your rooftop, overlooking the neighborhood as the smell of smoke clung to his clothes and the taste of sweet strawberry wine lingered on your lips. A cigarette between his fingers and his arm wrapped around you, pulling you closer as you stared up at the twinkling stars, the grasshoppers bountiful and the owls hooting in the distance.

You wanted to ask, but you couldn’t bear the thought of him not adoring the memories as much as you did. Worse than that, you couldn’t imagine the time being lost on him, shoved so deep down and buried underneath the surplus of memories he’d created after you left.

“Any restaurant in mind, or do you trust me?” He asked, his eyes flickering over to you.

“I trust you.” You assured him, knowing that if trust was a problem, it was never with him.

“Good, ‘cause I already called and ordered for us. That would’ve been awkward.”

He ordered something for you? He was that confident that after six years, he still knew what you would want to eat?

“Planning ahead?” You teased, crossing your hands neatly in your lap so you didn’t reach out to grab his own.

“Yeah, sorry.” He chuckled. “I was excited, I get ahead of myself sometimes.”

“That’s okay.” You promised, the sentiment behind his actions warning your chest. “What did you get?” You asked, unable to curb your curiosity. He shifted in his seat, clearly affected by your question and conflicted as he tried to keep the surprise.

“You’ll… have to wait and see.” He forced out, his lips curling into a smile.

“Oh, come on, Jake.” You pressed further, knowing it wouldn’t take much to get him to crack. “Not even a hint?”

“Don’t do that to me, sunshine.” He warned, nearly squirming under the pressure. You bit down on the inside of your lip, happy to see that some things were still the same. Jake’s ability to keep secrets had always been a struggle for him, and you knew that no amount of time could rid him of that.

“Please?” You smirked, pouting your bottom lip ever so slightly. You watched him look at you through the corner of his eye, his sunglasses not able to cover the stress quickly filling his features.

“Fuck,” he huffed, trying to focus on the road. “You’re killing me, sweetheart.”

“Just tell me, bug. You know you want to.” You continued your torment, almost letting yourself reach out and place a hand on his knee. As soon as you realized what you were doing, you clasped your hands tighter together, not wanting to read too far into a story you weren’t sure was beginning.

“Chinese, from that little place we used to go to when we were kids.” He rushed the words, like he’d hit a wall and collapsed from the impact. At the sound of it, your eyes lit up and a blinding smile crossed your lips.

He remembered.

“We went on our first date there!” You exclaimed, twisting in your seat to get a better look at him. “In the tenth grade, your parents sat a few tables over from us.”

“Yeah,” he beamed, almost relieved that you recalled the date with such clarity, and even more so that you didn’t think it was weird. “Dad gave me his card to pay, so I could impress you.”

“I guess it worked out, didn’t it?” You replied, your cheeks pink as you remembered how excited you were. It was almost the same as you were feeling at that moment, on your way to your second first date.

Date.

Was this a date? Or was this just old friends catching up?

You were confused and conflicted, and a part of you wanted to believe the night had innocent intentions. Still, there was a larger, more complex part of yourself that desperately wanted it to be a date, and for him to say it was. Instead of asking, you pushed the thought away, knowing you would find out in due time.

“It did. For a while, at least.” He chuckled, unable to hide the flash of pain in his eyes as he said it. “This time, we aren’t eating in. I have other plans for tonight.”

“Oh?” You asked, understanding he’d been planning this out much more than you thought he was.

“Please, let me keep it a secret, sunshine. Promise it’ll be worth it, okay?” He said, looking over at you now. Your lips pulled into a tight smile as you debated his words, knowing it would be more fun to push him.

“Promise?” You reiterated, making him sweat a little bit.

“Pinky promise, sunshine.” He said, grasping the wheel tightly in one hand as he reached his other out to you, his pinky extended towards you. You reached up, interlocking your finger with his.

“Alright, bug.” You conceded, trying to ignore the shock of electricity running through you from the simple touch.

“Thank you.” He gave a sigh of relief, looking back to the road but making no move to pull his hand away. Your eyes drifted down to the point of connection between your hands, wondering why he was letting it linger for so long. His eyes flickered to meet yours, a silent question of your comfortability with his actions.

He wanted it too.

Wordlessly, you outstretched your hand, your fingertips tickling his palm as you laced the appendages between his own. You never let your eyes leave him as you did so, continuing on high alert until his hand was comfortably held in your own and his thumb was drifting across your knuckles. You ignored the small smile tugging on his lips, because you knew if you called him out on it, you would be a hypocrite. He lowered his arm, letting your intertwined hands rest on your thigh, testing the waters before making any further moves. When you didn’t say a word in protest, both of you relaxed into the position without any more worries.

“Tell me about Mel.” He said, finally gaining the courage to speak again.

“What do you want to know?”

“Well, everything.” He chuckled. “She’s your person, now. I used to be your person, so I guess I want to know if she’s taking care of you, like I would.” He shrugged, never once glancing in your direction. You were happy for that, because you couldn’t stand for him to see the pain on your face that stemmed from his words.

“Jake,” you whispered, giving your head a slight shake. “You… you still are. Even if it’s not the same, you’ll always be my person.” You explained, appalled that he believed that he didn’t mean anything to you anymore. “One of them, at least. Back then, I only ever had you and Josh, but I have a few more now, I guess. You’re still one of them. You never stopped being one of them.” You swore that you heard his breath catch in his throat, that his emotional response was so great that it bled into a physical one, but you didn’t linger on it for long. The whole situation was strange, but you didn’t want to get your hopes too high, just in case it turned out to be different than what you wanted.

“You never stopped being mine, either.” He said, his hand squeezing yours ever so gently. You tried not to focus on the feeling, still stuck in a constant state of self-doubt, but it felt nice to be loved by him, even if it was different than it used to be. “Tell me about her, sunshine.” He urged, noticing a silence growing between you again. In truth, he didn’t care if that’s what it was about; he just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.

“Uh, we met in freshman year. We sat beside each other in our first lit class. Took us a few days to speak to each other, but once we did, we never really stopped.” You started, recounting the memory fondly. “When I first moved away, I had a really hard time adjusting. The people there were… different.” You put it lightly, ignoring the real reason you had trouble adjusting. It had nothing to do with the type of people there, but because none of them were him. “They were expensive looking, preppy and kind of annoying. They were very judgemental, ‘specially the girls, and I didn’t really feel like I fit in. It was a lot different than home, and it took me a while to get used to it.”

You could almost hear his heart break as you spoke, like he was grieving for that version of you. More than that, he was angry with himself for not being persistent, for not being the person you needed at that point in your life.

“I noticed Mel was different. The way she held herself… she was relaxed, carefree all of the time. She reminded me of home, and she felt like someone I could trust, or at least talk to without feeling stupid about it. I made a joke about our professor, and we just clicked. We did everything together after that—partnered for every project, went to parties, to run errands…” you trailed off, watching out the windshield as the city passed you by. “She felt like home, and I guess I missed it more than I thought I would. She reminded me of you.” You added the last part, quieter than the rest in fear of overwhelming him. You watched as a smile turned his lips, understanding that with Jake, you didn’t have to worry about a thing.

“I’m glad you found her. She seems very…” he trailed off, trying to find the right word. “Eccentric.” He placed it, figuring that was the best way to describe her.

“She is.” You laughed, nodding your head in agreement. “She’s different from anyone else I’ve ever met. She’s got this way about her that just draws me in, like she always balances me out and makes up for what I lack. We have lots in common where it matters, but it’s nice to have someone that challenges me. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” You shrugged, realizing you were rambling more than you should.

“I’m excited to get to know her better. If you love her so much, she must be pretty great.” He said, nonchalantly like his statement wasn’t dripping with hidden meaning.

He wanted to get to know her better because he wanted to stick around. He wanted to stay, to continue whatever the two of you were doing and rebuild a relationship between the two of you. He wanted to know her, because she was the closest thing to you.

He wanted you.

You didn’t have time to focus on the unspoken things for much longer, because he was pulling into the hidden parking lot of the restaurant you frequented so often when you were younger. He glanced over at you, then down at your hand intertwined with his, almost sorrowful that he had to let go.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” He said, unbuckling his seatbelt before he pulled his hand from your lap. You gave a slight nod, immediately noticing the warmth flee you as his fingers slipped away from your own. You didn’t have a chance to offer your company before he stepped out of the car, and he disappeared into the side door of the building before you realized it.

You looked down at your palm, still warm from where his own rested just seconds earlier. His cologne lingered in the air of the car, and your stomach was twisted with anxiety. You had no idea what he was planning, but you were excited to see where the night left you. It had been so long since you had been on a date, let alone with someone who so deeply affected you, and you had almost forgotten how to act.

No, you hadn’t forgotten how to act; you were just in your own head, doubting that the evening he had planned was a date at all.

That was your first course of action, to ask if the night had the same implications for him as it did for you. If you didn’t, you might end up on your front doorstep, grieving a loss he never knew he caused. You were terrified to ask, embarrassed at the idea of it not meaning the same to him, but you needed to know.

You spent your few minutes of alone time psyching yourself up for the big question, finding courage you didn’t know you had. By the time he stepped out of the building, the brown bag of takeout held tightly in his hands, you had enough strength to whisper the words aloud. When he placed the food in the backseat, you were repeating it in your head to keep the momentum. When he slid back in the driver's seat, his head turned to look at you and a sweet little smile on his lips, any amount of strength you conjured disappeared in an instant, leaving your tongue tied and your throat dry.

“What’s wrong, sunshine?” He asked, able to read you like a book even now. You swallowed hard, your heart threatening to burst out of your chest as you tried to remember how to phrase the words you wanted to ask him. He raised an eyebrow at your silence, still awaiting an answer you weren’t sure how to give. Eventually, you took a deep breath, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment to straighten your thoughts. You found that looking at him only made it harder to focus, and without his eyes burning holes into you, you were able to find the courage again.

“Is this… are we on a date?” You blurted out, heaving a small sigh of relief as the words finally passed through your lips. Anxiety continued to eat away at you as you opened your eyes, catching sight of his expression. His eyebrows were knitted together, but the smile on his lips remained. He was so hard to read, which only frustrated you further knowing that he knew how you were feeling all of the time.

“That depends… Do you want to be on a date?”

“Do you?” You asked, shifting in your seat as you averted your gaze away from his face. He laughed at your response, clearly amused by your distress and unbothered by the inquiry.

“I do, yes.” He nodded, knowing you would never confess unless he did, first. “But if you don’t, that’s okay too. We can just eat dinner and have a drink as friends.” His sweetness was overwhelming, and unbelievably reassuring. You let out a long breath, relieved at the sound of his words and happy he felt the same.

“Okay.” You grinned, reaching over and lacing your fingers through his again. As you pulled his hand back to rest in your lap, the anxiety disappeared indefinitely. “I would also like to be on a date.”

“Then it’s settled.” He hummed, leaning back in his seat and starting the car. You could tell that the agreement improved his mood greatly—the slight nervousness in his features settled and the smile on his lips was permanently visible. The momentary euphoria left him confident, and his fingers slipped from yours once more, settling on your thigh just below the hem of your dress. Your stomach twisted in a knot, this time not due to your anxieties, but from excitement. The touch was familiar, comforting, the hold the same as it was when you were seventeen and driving around in his dads old car. You placed your hand atop of his, showing your enthusiasm for the new position.

“Seems like it.” You agreed, fighting a smile begging to blossom on your own lips.

“Good thing, because I’d probably have a hard time keeping my hands off you.” He confessed, his grasp tightening ever so slightly as he reveled in the feeling of your skin on his again.

“Is that so?” You teased, encouraging his behavior in an attempt to hear more about it.

“Mhm,” he hummed, pulling out of the parking spot and back out onto the street. “You really think I could behave myself all night? This close to my favorite girl?” His words hit you hard, turning your cheeks crimson and sending your heart racing.

“Don’t flatter me, Jacob.” You spoke softly, downplaying his words but desperately hoping that he would continue.

“But it’s my favorite thing to do.” He reminded you, tracing small circles into your leg with his thumb. You settled comfortably in your seat, but not for long before the car was slowing to a stop again, pulling off into another overly familiar area. The dirt lot was barren, the two of you the only occupants of the large space. Jake pulled off to the side, earning a sideways glance from you.

“Jake…” you began, overwhelmed with years worth of love as the memories flooded your mind.

“What?” He grinned, turning in his seat to face you.

“This is the spot!” You exclaimed, not wanting to be the one to say it out loud.

“Hmm, I’m not sure I know what you’re referring to…” he trailed off, raising his free hand to his chin as he pretended to ponder the words. “I thought it was just a nice place to have dinner. What happened here, again?” You reached over, giving him a playful shove. He laughed, loud and booming, filling your heart with enough love you thought it might burst.

You used to dream of hearing him laugh like that, together at your spot. You yearned for it, for even just a single second spent here with him, and now you had it in your grasp.

“Don’t be a dick.” You giggled, knowing he was only joking for the sake of bothering you.

“You know I could never forget our spot, sweetheart.” He said, giving your thigh a reassuring squeeze. “Well, one of them, anyway.”

“But this was the spot.” You smiled, feeling yourself leaning into him without even realizing it. “This is where you asked me to be your girlfriend.”

“It is.” He nodded, fighting every urge to lean forward and kiss you right there. He was overtaken with emotion, as joyous as he was when he was fifteen and walking through the park with you for the first time. He picked a flower from the beds the city maintained, making a whole ordeal out of asking you the question he already knew the answer to. He could never forget it, because it was one of his most cherished moments, and now, almost a decade later, he got to relive that elation all over again. “Come with me, sunshine.”

Together, the two of you stepped outside into the warm evening air. The sun was still shining, setting a golden hue over the lush green grass and the overgrown trees. The park was different than it was when you were younger, more grown and less tended to than it used to be. When new parks opened, this one became forgotten in the mess of excitement that sprouted from the city's changes. To you, it could never be forgotten. You’d choose the rusted swing sets and the weathered park benches and picnic tables every day for the rest of your life because that was where you felt closest to him.

Jake retrieved the takeout from the backseat, then an additional grocery bag filled with items he had not shared with you yet. He joined you by your side, fighting off your attempts at grabbing something from his hands. Wordlessly, he led you to the narrow path through the trees, but he knew you did not need his guidance. Both of you could navigate the trails through the park blindfolded with your hands tied behind your back, because most of your nights were spent aimlessly wandering, hand in hand with each other.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to reach the opening to the park, the tiny trail tapering off into an overgrown field. The grass was overgrown, tickling your ankles as you advanced through it. Birds were chirping, making home in the tree branches and concealed by the leaves. Butterflies fluttered around the scene, carefree and avoidant of the two of you. Jake let you lead the way, staying close behind you as you gravitated towards the picnic table that called your name. You looked back over your shoulder, smiling at him as you closed in on it and realized it had never been replaced.

“Still there?” He asked as he approached, closing the small gap between you.

“Still there.” You nodded, looking down at the old wooden board. You tried to ignore the feeling of his body so close to yours, the warmth radiating from him as he stood behind you, and the scent of his cologne surrounding you even in the gentle breeze, but it was proving difficult the longer you stood together. You reached out, your fingers tracing the divots in the wood grain. From the years of weather and use, the carving almost seemed like it belonged, now. The rough edges had smoothed, and the color changed to match the rest.

Your initials, side by side and destined to tie the two of you there for eternity. He had carved it with an old pocket knife the night he asked you to be his girlfriend, informing you that so long as the picture remained, so would his love for you.

“Still true?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper, cracking with emotion as you doubted he would even remember the insignificance of the promise. His head turned down to you, his eyes scanning your face for a moment before he responded. The air between you was thick, just like the tension that accompanied it.

“Still true.” He assured you, like there was never a doubt in his mind about it. You turned your head to the side, swallowing hard at the confession and the close proximity of his face to yours. The wind was blowing his hair away from his face, his dark eyelashes tickling his cheeks as he looked down at you. You looked up at him through your own lashes, admiring the intricacies of his face that you could not notice from far away, intricacies that only you would care to look for. His nose was nearly brushing yours, his breath warm on your skin. He was so close, and you wanted it so bad, but you were scared to make the first move. “Always true.”

For a moment, the world stopped turning. No more butterflies, no more chirps from the birds, no more gusts of wind blowing you around; just the two of you there, together in perfect harmony, enjoying each other’s presence after being separated for so long.

“For me, too.” You whispered, needing him to know that the love was not one sided. Although you did not have the strength to speak the words, he knew what you meant, and that was all that mattered.

Instead of leaning forward and closing the gap between your mouths, he sat the bags atop the rickety wooden table. He didn’t move too far away, but he did send you a small smile, like a promise that something better was to come. You couldn’t help but feel a sinking disappointment as he moved away, but you pushed it aside and forced a smile to match his.

“Now, let’s see how well I remember.” He hummed, motioning for you to sit. You did as you were told, sliding onto the bench and smoothing your dress under your legs. You crossed your ankles, propping your chin up on your palm as you waited to see what he pulled together. “For dinner, shrimp lo mein and spring rolls.” He raised an eyebrow, tearing into the takeout bag and offering you the container.

“How the hell did you remember that?” You grinned, taking it from his hands and placing it in front of you. He gave a shrug of his shoulders, placing his own in front of him after he handed you the wooden chopsticks.

“You ordered it every time we went there, sunshine. Wasn’t like it was hard.” He chuckled. “And the chopsticks, because you insist on using them even though you suck at it.”

“I do not suck at it!” You argued, your cheeks burning red as he fought back a chuckle.

“Right,” he hummed, tossing you a disposable fork wrapped in plastic. “Just in case.” You rolled your eyes, but snatched it from the table anyway. You’d never admit it, but he was right. Even if your skills improved over the years, you were far from good at it.

“Care to keep going, or are you going to make fun of me all night?” You bit down on your lip to suppress the smile that was begging to show.

“Right, sorry.” He nodded, grinning over at you. He reached into the second bag, slowly pulling out a bottle that you couldn’t see the label on. As soon as he flashed it in your direction, your eyes widened and a blinding smile took hold.

“Strawberry wine.” You whispered, your gaze flickering to his face. “My favorite.”

He would never say, but it was his too, not because he liked drinking it, but because he could still remember the taste of it on your lips.

“Some things never change.” He offered you the bottle. You reached out, your eyes drifting over the label as you tried to suppress the growing feelings in your heart. “Figured you deserved a nice bottle, not the cheap shit we used to get.”

“Thank you, Jake.” You breathed, your chest aching from the surplus of love you felt for him.

“That’s not all.” He said as if it were some grandois display, reaching his hand back into the bag. When he withdrew his arm, he held two more items in his hand; a ziplock bag and a small, cardboard box wrapped in plastic.

“Oh my god.” You gasped, reaching out across the picnic table to snatch the bag from his hand. As if he knew it before you even moved, he withdrew his arm with a smirk on his face.

“Impatient, much?” He teased, holding it just out of reach.

“If that’s what I think it is, then I most definitely am.” You nodded, leaning forward and a little further. As you did so, your fingers grasped the corner of the plastic, but he tugged it away before you could steal it. You couldn’t help it, your old habits and comfortability had returned full force in his company. Your bottom lip formed a pout as you silently pleaded with him to hand over the item he was keeping away from you. As he watched your face, his expression was almost pained as he refrained from handing it over, but within a few seconds, he broke.

“God, you know that’s not fair!” He exclaimed, giving in and letting you grab the bag from his hand.

“I think it’s perfectly fine.” You snipped, a triumphant smile crossing your lips as you sat back in your seat. “I haven’t had your mom’s muffins since senior year, Jacob.” You continued, holding the bag close to you as if it were a prized possession.

“I know, that’s why I got her to make them.” He laughed, taking the loss and moving on from it as soon as he saw the elation on your face. You paused, momentarily forgetting your excitement as you digested his statement.

“You got her to make these just for me?” You asked, your voice barely above a whisper. He caught your eyes, his cheeks pink in the sunlight as he realized he exposed himself without a second thought.

“Y-yeah,” he nodded, clearing his throat as he tried to regain his confidence. “Yeah, I did. I knew they were your favorite, so I asked her.” He shrugged, trying to make it seem lesser than it truly was. “She didn’t mind. She’d do anything for you, sunshine.”

“Jake.” You whined, your eyes brimming with tears at the thought of him and his family still caring so much. You were overwhelmed with love, never having someone care so deeply and genuinely for you since the last time you saw him. As the evening carried on, it became abundantly clear that you had given up everything, and in that moment, you felt like you were mourning the loss all over again. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Come on, sweetheart.” He reached over, cupping your face in his palm as his thumb drifted over your cheek. “Don’t you know by now, I’d do anything to see you smile?” Your eyes fluttered closed, your head automatically leaning into his touch. You couldn’t believe you were lucky enough to have him not only once, but twice.

“You never had to try very hard to get a smile from me.” You said, turning your head towards his hand ever so slightly. As if it were a natural reaction, you placed a small kiss to the pad of his thumb, a silent thank you for everything he had done. His breath caught in his throat at the feeling of your lips on his skin, but he tried not to let it phase him too much.

As much as he wanted to kiss you, to show you how much he missed you, the time was not right. He had a plan, one that he was determined to follow through with, and he had to stick to it, even if you were making it incredibly difficult to do so.

“Since we’re taking a walk down memory lane, I figured this would tie it all together.” He changed the subject, reaching to the table and grabbing the last item he pulled from the bag. He flashed them in your direction, a sheepish smile on his face as you read the label.

“Newports.” You laughed, remembering the smell of the cheap smoke stuck to his clothes wherever he went. “Big rockstar like you can’t afford better?”

“I always said I’d never smoke another one of these,” he grinned, turning the pack around so he could take a look for himself. “I’m feeling a little nostalgic, I think.”

“Cheap cigarettes and strawberry wine. Our childhood in a nutshell.” You giggled, breaking apart the wooden chopsticks and flipping the top of your takeout container open. He took a seat across from you, doing the same as you did. “You were such a bad influence.”

“Oh, whatever.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You were the one with the fake ID, sunshine.”

“Yeah, because yours looked like shit.” You laughed, shaking your head at him. “Guy at the liquor store laughed in your face when you showed him that waste of money.”

“So cruel, and for what, sweetheart?” Jake grinned, clearly unbothered by your comment. He had missed the banter that flowed so easily between the two of you, the endless jokes and the constant laughter. He was most comfortable around you, never second guessing himself and always certain that you would support his crazy ideas. He didn’t realize how much he truly missed your company until he was around you again.

“Not cruel if it’s the truth, Jacob.” You defended yourself, taking a bite of the food he had so kindly bought for you. Your eyes fluttered closed at the taste, the nostalgia of the moment bringing you back to a better time, the best time of your life. “I can’t believe you pulled all of this off.”

“I would have done more, if I could have. Was a bit short notice, but I wanted to do something with you, even if it is a reused date idea.” He gave a soft smile, a bit regretful that he didn’t have time to plan for something more elaborate.

“Are you kidding, Jake? This is perfect.” You assured him. “My favorite food, my favorite wine, in my favorite place with my favorite person.” You listed off, sending him a playful grin. “I couldn’t have asked for more. It doesn’t matter what we do, Jake. I’m just happy I get to see you again after so long.”

“I’m so happy to see you too, sunshine. More than you’ll ever know.” He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. “I thought about you every fuckin’ day. I couldn’t get you out of my head.” You averted your gaze to the table, overtaken with guilt at his confession. You held remorse for forcing yourself to forget, especially after discovering that he could not do the same thing. He spent every night awake, thinking of you and wondering where you ended up, and you did everything you could to rid yourself of his memory so the pain would stop. “You know that Sinéad O’Connor song? The one that used to play on the radio all the time?”

“You turned to 90’s pop to get over me?” You giggled, teasing him over the fact. Out of all the songs, that one was not what you were expecting him to be listening to. “You know that’s not even her song, right? Prince wrote it.”

“No, smartass. Listen to me.” He laughed, waiting to share his story without your unsolicited comments.

“Okay, okay, sorry.” You blushed, conceding and letting him speak his truth.

“I was in bed one night, and I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d listen to some music, and like always, it made me think of you. You were always trying to get me to listen to new things, and in senior year you went through this huge phase with grunge music.”

“God, don’t remind me.” You covered your face with your hand, slouching in your seat as embarrassment took hold. It was not because of the music, but rather because of your obnoxious behavior as you tried to get Jake to enjoy it as much as you did.

“Back then, I listened to it sometimes when I missed you, because it was some of the last songs we listened to together. I was listening to some of Chris Cornell’s solo stuff because he was your favorite artist at the time, and he did a cover of that song. Have you listened to it?”

“What?” You asked, surprised you never stumbled across it before. “Really?”

“Yeah, and it was really fuckin’ good.” Jake chuckled. “The minute he started singing, I swear all I could see was you. I listened to it on repeat—in the shower, eating dinner, all of the time, sunshine. Josh was so sick of it he forbade me from listening to it anymore. It felt like… when I closed my eyes, I could almost picture you there beside me, listening to it too.” He explained, his honesty equal to a punch in the gut. “When Chris Cornell died, I almost called, just to see if you were okay. Sat in my room for an hour, finger over that call button, but it had been so long and I was too scared.”

“He’s still my favorite, and I was not okay.” You forced a laugh, bargaining with the lump in your throat and the sting of tears in your eyes. “I wish you called—I should have called.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, the emotion too great to shove back down. “I never stopped caring, Jake. I tried to force myself to forget about us, about how much I cared for you. It took so long, but even when I did, after I wiped my memory clean and became a whole new person, it still felt like there was something missing. When I found all of that stuff, I knew why; you were missing, and nothing has felt right since that day.”

“Sunshine,” he warned, reaching across the table and swiping a tear from your cheek with his thumb. “Don’t be sad. I didn’t call, either. We were both stupid, and were making up for it now.”

“I’ll never stop being sorry, bug.” You reached up, holding his hand to your face as your chest ached. “Leaving you was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

“Let’s be sad about that tomorrow.” He tried again, guilty that his words imposed such sadness on you. “Let’s have fun tonight, and have the hard conversations later. I miss you so much, and I want to enjoy every second I have with you.” He continued, silently begging you to look at him and see the sincerity in his eyes. “I’ll talk about whatever you want when the sun comes up tomorrow, but right now, I want to be with you, just like we used to be. Can you do that for me? For old times sake?” You swallowed back your tears, taking a deep breath to calm the raging sorrow in your heart, and looked up to meet his gaze. Like always, the brown of his irises sent a warmth washing over you, more comforting than the sun and more familiar than your own house.

Still, after six years, he was home to you.

“For old times sake.” You smiled, nodding in agreement.

“Good, because I have more plans for us.” He grinned, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “And I’m not telling you what it is, so don’t even bother.”

“That’s not fair.” You argued, watching as he returned to his normal position, taking a bite of his food. He kept you in suspense for a moment, neglecting a response as you waited for him to give in.

“It’s perfectly fair, sunshine.” He chuckled. “Now relax, eat your dinner and stop worrying about everything.”

“Do you know how hard that is for me? All I do is worry.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He laughed, reaching over and opening the bottle of wine for you. “That will never change.” He smiled, offering you the bottle with a raised eyebrow. You watched him for a moment, finally letting yourself feel all of the things you locked up for so long. It felt good to love him freely, without the burden of pain that came from leaving. Right now, you were with him, laughing with him, loving him after so long of punishing yourself for it. It was liberating, and you knew he was right; you had to stop wasting your time being sad and sorrowful over your past mistakes.

“Black by Pearl Jam.” You said, snatching the bottle from his hand with a playful smile stuck on your lips. No matter how bad it hurt, you couldn’t deny the joy you felt in his company.

“What?” He asked, watching as you placed the bottle to your lips and tilted your head back. The sweet taste filled your senses, better than you expected and much smoother than the ten dollar bottles you bought as kids. You took a hearty drink, lowering the bottle from your mouth as you swallowed it down, never breaking eye contact. The glisten of alcohol on your lips was prominent under the early summer sun, making him shift in his seat as he bargained with the thoughts racing through his head.

“That was my song. The one I listened to and thought of you.” He reached over and took the bottle from your hands, taking a drink while he thought about your words. When he sat it back on the table, a smile pulled at his lips.

“Like I said, Angel. We were both so stupid.”

Dinner went by quickly, and you found yourself mourning the fact it would be coming to an end as the sun began to set in the sky. You thought it would be difficult to do as Jake asked, that you would struggle to push your sadness aside and harness the love that he was trying to give you, but as time went on, it was easier than anything you’d ever done. Being with him again was better than you imagined it would be, and sometimes, you forgot there was ever a time you were apart at all. When the wine neared the end of the bottle, all thanks to you, your cheeks were warm and your eyes glossy with adoration for the boy sitting across from you. With the help of alcohol, you let your guard down completely, and you started forget why you had it up in the first place.

Jake was packing up the mess you made, sneaking glances at you as you watched him work. You had gotten loose with your tongue and the tension in your shoulders had fully subsided, leaving you more obvious with your admiration and even passing a few flirtatious words his way. You were far from drunk, but you did have enough wine in you that the prospect of loving Jake had become much less scary and much more inviting. You missed feeling this way, carefree and happy just to exist beside him, and you were doing exactly as you were told; enjoying him for the little time he could be with you.

“Ready to hit the next stop, sunshine?” He asked, finally clearing the table off and looking at you.

“Ready.” You nodded, a permanent smile anchored on your lips. “Where is that, exactly?”

“Surprise.” He smiled, clutching the bag of garbage in one hand as he offered his other to you. You reached out, sliding your fingers over his palm and interlocking them with his. You couldn’t ignore the jolt of electricity that ran through you, the power behind a simple touch that no other boy could seem to replicate.

“I hate surprises, bug.” You said, pulling yourself off the bench to stand beside him. He gave a low chuckle, squeezing your hand gently as he began to walk back in the direction the two of you came from.

“Just trust me, love.” He said, guiding you towards the trail through the trees. It was so easy for him to fall back into the same routine, and he barely had a second thought about it. Loving you was the easiest thing he’d ever done, and he was happy he had the chance to do it again.

When you made it back to the parking lot, he stopped by a garbage can on the edge of the lot placed by the city to reduce littering, depositing the bag of trash he took from the table. This time, as you walked to the car, he followed you to the passenger side. He opened the door for you, holding it so you could climb inside. Before you did, you dropped your hold on his hand, stepping towards him rather than the car. You extended your arms out, wrapping them around his torso and pulling him closer to you. The tipsiness aided your confidence, but your love for him was the biggest driving force.

Without a second thought, he returned the hug with enthusiasm, snaking one arm around your waist and placing one hand on the back of your head. Your cheek rested against his chest, his partially unbuttoned shirt allowing for your skin to connect with his in a long overdue reunion. You closed your eyes, letting his cologne surround you as you soaked in the intimacy. If you could, you would have stayed there forever, happy in his arms and never having to worry about anything else.

“I missed you, Jake. So much.” You mumbled, feeling his arm tighten around your waist.

“You have no idea, sunshine.” He whispered, his head turned down and his lips pressed to the top of your head. It was the truth; you had no idea how desperately he missed you, and he had no idea how badly you longed for him to hold you just like he was in that moment.

Reluctantly, you pulled away, the warmth of his skin still felt on your face despite the distance between you, but he didn’t let you move too far away. His hand on the back of your head moved to your cheek, cupping your face as you looked up at him. The sunset in the background casted an ethereal glow over his already beautiful face, making him all the more irresistible. You wanted to kiss him, to close the gap and taste him on your tongue. You wanted to savour the sweetness of having him so close, to show him how much he meant to you despite your previous actions saying otherwise. You wanted to apologize, to make amends for the stupidity your younger self engaged in and atone for the suffering you caused him. More than anything, you wanted him.

For a moment, you thought he was feeling the same. The look in his eye was familiar, you’d seen it a million times. The slight smile on his lips, his shallow breaths and shining eyes was all eerily reminiscent of a version of him you knew so well. Instead of following the yearning of his heart, he closed his eyes and pulled away from you, going back to holding the door open so you could climb inside as if the intimate display you found yourselves in never existed at all. You blinked hard, biting down on the inside of your lip as you felt a wave of disappointment wash over you. Instead of speaking on it, you turned and slid back into the passenger seat, swallowing hard as you straightened the skirt of your dress.

Did he not want to kiss you? He himself said it was a date, but every time you found an opportune moment to kiss, he turned away and shut it down. Was he afraid like you were, or was he having second thoughts about what he wanted?

You tried not to dwell, especially after he climbed in the car beside you, but it proved difficult to pry the thoughts out of your mind. When his hand snaked to your thigh, you only found yourself even more confused.

What game was he playing?

Jake’s POV

‘Just a little longer. It has to be perfect.’ You thought to yourself, trying to steady the shake of your hand as you gripped the steering wheel. You couldn’t deny the flash of sadness that crossed her face when you pulled away, and it was killing you the longer you replayed it in your head. You wanted to kiss her, more than you wanted anything in your entire life. She was it for you, everything you hoped for and everything you dreamed of, but you wanted your second first kiss to be better than the first kiss you shared all those years ago. You didn’t want your emotions to get in the way, to cloud the plans you made on your drive back to your hometown.

She deserved better than a spur of the moment kiss because you couldn’t contain yourself. She deserved everything, and you were determined to give it to her. The moment was right, and you knew that the minute it happened it would be perfect for you, but there was one thing missing, one last piece to the puzzle. You’d spent the entire day proving to her that you weren’t taking this second chance for granted, that all you were saying was true, and not just you talking out of your ass.

You remembered everything, from the smallest of details to the biggest memories shared with her. You remembered exactly how she looked in the morning, half asleep with a lazy smile across her lips as she twisted a lock of your hair around her finger. You remembered the sparkle of love in her eye on her mothers rooftop, scolding you for smoking as she sipped away at a bottle of cheap wine from the corner store. You remembered all of it, and you needed to show her that she still meant that much to you, that you spent six years ensuring her memory remained intact no matter how far away she was, and you were almost there.

The drive to the bar was nearly silent aside from the hum of the radio in the background. You knew she was overthinking the moment, that she was racking her brain to understand the mixed signals you gave her just moments before, but you knew you couldn’t settle that fear without exposing your entire plan. She was right, you were terrible at keeping secrets and horrible at surprises, but you so badly wanted it to remain that way until the moment it happened. You were thankful she expressed her desire to kiss you, and you hoped she still felt that way as the night carried on. You kept your hand on her thigh, a silent reassurance that you wanted her without having to speak it aloud. The touch seemed to calm her nerves but not settle her mind, but you could make due with that for now.

The old dive bar was familiar, not one you frequented but one that was very memorable to the both of you. As you pulled into the lot, the building the same as it was all those years ago, a different lifetime flashed before your eyes. One of the last weekend's you spent together, before she left for good, the two of you spent hours wandering the town and trying to make as many memories as you could before time would not allow for any more. You ended up here, hand in hand in the parking lot and willing to test your luck with your fake IDs one last time. Luckily for you, the establishment was so nonchalant that they never bothered to ask for your ID in the first place, and you spent the rest of your night tipsy from cheap liquor. You learned how to play pool, and as the crowd filtered out for the night, you slow danced to every song she played on the old jukebox in the corner.

As you parked, you looked over to her, wondering if she remembered it with the same clarity you did. As she turned to face you, the look in her eyes told you all you needed to know.

‘Make it to the jukebox, Jacob. You can do it.’

“I can’t believe you remembered all of this stuff, Jake.” She whispered, her eyes glimmering with another round of unshed tears. You wished you could stop forcing her into sadness, that you could be the reason for the smiles instead of the tears, but you understood that as fantastic as your day had been, it brought up plenty of unresolved feelings.

“There’s not a single thing I’ve ever been able to forget, sunshine.” You confessed, feeling the pull of gravity force you towards her again. Despite every single thing in your body screaming for you to give in, to lean over and kiss her right there, you forced yourself to stay still, forced yourself not to do the only thing you ever wanted to do. “Let’s head in.” You said, unbuckling your seatbelt and climbing out of the car. You wished you could stay, to stare at her and admire the softness of her face and the beauty of her as a whole, but the longer you sat, the harder it became to keep your distance. You walked to her side of the vehicle, opening the door for her and taking her hand as she climbed out. “I can finally get my rematch. Been waiting for six years.”

“I won fair and square, Jake.” She quipped, stepping onto the old wooden stairs as she approached the door. She remembered.

“Uh-huh,” you hummed, sarcasm dripping from your tone as you stepped forward to open the door for her. “You were distracting me the whole time. I think that’s cheating.”

“Please.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes as a playful smile spread across her face. She sent a lingering stare at you over her shoulder as she stepped inside, begging for you to challenge her. “Not my fault you couldn’t focus on the game.”

“Actually, sweetheart, it’s entirely your fault.” You laughed, letting the door swing shut behind you. “Can’t walk around like that all of the time and expect me not to stare.” Her cheeks turned pink, shielded by the curls falling effortlessly around her face to further her beauty. She seemed in better spirits, your lighthearted teasing helping her forget the moment at the park.

You didn’t care about pool, and you didn’t care about a rematch; all of those years ago, you threw the game so she could win, just so you could see her smile. You took all of the teasing with a grain of salt and made a pact with yourself that she would never find out the truth behind her victory. Happiness looked too good on her, and you would be damned if you ever took that away.

“Drink?” You asked, slipping your arm around her waist as her eyes scanned the crowded pool table. Her head turned, her eyes connecting with yours as her face hovered inches away from your own. You noticed her eyes flicker to your lips, silently pleading with you to take the initiative.

“Sure.” She nodded, the scent of her perfume nearly making you fall to your knees. It was so familiar, something you hadn’t experienced in a long time. Now that it was in front of your face, you couldn’t believe you lived so long without it. “Manhattan, please.” She flashed you a breathtaking smile before giving your bicep a slight squeeze. “I’m gonna grab that table in the corner.” She pointed to the booth nearest to the pool table, just a few feet away from the jukebox that you were itching to get to.

“Okay, I’ll meet you over there.” You assured her, watching as she walked away from you. There was a slight sway in her step sending you weak in the knees, but you managed to push the thoughts away and turn to the bar.

You took a few strides towards the bartender, posted in the middle and awaiting your company. You sent an occasional glance over your shoulder, never able to rid yourself of the protective nature you felt when it came to her. As you saw her sitting, content as she waited for you, you turned to order. The bartender was gruff, but still friendly. He quickly fixed your drinks and started you a tab, sending you on your way within a few minutes.

Both drinks in hand, you walked over to join her, carefully placing the martini glass in front of her. You slid in the booth on the opposite side, taking a small sip from your own drink to calm your racing mind.

“Thank you, bug.” The nickname rolled off her tongue so easily, igniting a flame in your heart you believed to be long burnt out. She was going to be the death of you, and you knew that much for certain.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” You flashed her a smile, hoping she couldn’t pick up on your anxious eyes.

“So how long are you home for?” She asked, grabbing the pick holding the cherries from her drink. Her eyes flickered to meet yours as she pulled one of them into her mouth, a dribble of the dark liquid falling down her chin as she did so. Your breath caught in your throat, your eyes trained to her lips in a moment of weakness she was painfully aware of.

“Uh, few days at least.” You shook yourself free from the desire that was pushing you closer and closer to insanity. “We might stay a little longer, depending on how busy we’ll be when we get back home.”

“Full itinerary for the trip?” She raised an eyebrow, raising the glass to her lips and taking a sip from it. Her eyes never left yours as she did so, clearly hinting at something she wasn’t ready to ask aloud yet.

“No, not really.” You smirked, leaning back in the booth as you raised your own drink to your mouth. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.” She shrugged, holding her drink close to her as her eyes trailed over you. “Is that a crime?”

“No.” You shook your head, knowing you would answer anything she asked of you. “Is there something else you’d rather ask me?” You raised an eyebrow wondering if you could pry the question from her, or if she would ask on her own time, no matter your response.

“Like what?” She played the game well, knowing you already knew what she was thinking.

“If we could do this again before I left?” You knew you hit the nail on the head when her cheeks flushed and her gaze fell to the table. “Second first date going so well you want a second, second date?” At that, a laugh fell from her lips, finding your question ridiculous but perfectly fitting for the two of you.

“You’re an idiot.” She giggled, but you felt her foot brush your own under the table. You reached for her hand, taking it in your own and letting your thumb drift over hers.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, lacing her fingers with yours. “I would like to go on a second date, Jake. Maybe something a little bit more tame, like a movie night at my house? Like old times?” A smile pulled at your lips, your stomach fluttering with nerves at the thought of being cuddled up in her bed again. “I can kick Mel out for the night.”

“She can stay, if she’s okay with being a third wheel.” You offered, not wanting to exclude her completely.

“Who knows? First time the tables have ever been turned like this.” She let the words slip without a second thought, her eyebrows raising in surprise at herself.

“What do you mean?” You pressed, intrigue getting the best of you.

“Nothin’,” she brushed you off, taking an abnormally long sip from her drink. You didn’t drop it though, still curious about what she meant as the bottom of the glass touched against the worn tabletop.

“Tell me, sunshine.” You pleaded, squeezing her hand to sway her decision. She let out a huff of annoyance, finding it just as hard to avoid your questions, and eventually deeming it best to answer.

“I mean, she’s never had to be a third wheel before.” She squeaked out, almost embarrassed by the thought. You couldn’t help but take note of how beautiful she looked, even in the dim light of the hazy bar. Her cheeks were rosy, a permanent smile on her lips, and her hair was falling down over her shoulders. There was a faint hint of lipgloss still clinging to her lips, and her eyes were sparkling with an overly familiar emotion. “I haven’t really… dated anyone since we broke up, I guess?” She phrased her words like a question, as if you would know the answer better than she did. “Is that stupid? No, it’s stupid. Forget I said that. I’ve dated so many people Jake, you wouldn’t even be able to believe it.” She said, shifting nervously in her seat as she awaited your answer.

“I didn’t either, sunshine.” You assured her, unable to express how relieved you were to hear her say it. “I couldn’t… I never wanted to call someone else my girlfriend, because I only ever wanted to be with you.” She let out a sigh of relief at your words, relaxing into her seat as she let the truth sink in.

“It never felt right.” She explained, toying with the pick holding her second cherry. “I tried, because after a few years I was lonely, but I just couldn’t find anyone else. They weren’t terrible… they just weren’t you. Nobody could ever come close to you.”

“Are you trying to get me to fall in love again, sunshine?” You asked, swirling the ice around in your drink before you took a sip. She was smiling as she finished off the last of hers, the alcohol taking a clear effect on her as she sat the empty glass back on the table. She grabbed the tip of the metal pick holding the cherry, extending her arm towards you and offering it to you.

“It would really be falling back in love if we never really fell out of it, right?” She asked, watching as you leaned forward and took the cherry between your teeth. You pulled it from the pick and into your mouth, settling back in your seat as the sweetness filled your senses.

“S’pose not, sweetheart.” You hummed, the newfound information igniting a fire in your heart. You glanced over your shoulder, quick enough that she didn’t notice at all, wondering how the hell you could sneak from the booth and enact the next step. “You want another drink?” You asked, eyeballing the empty glass in front of her.

“Yes please.” She hummed, her tongue trailing over her bottom lip. You swallowed hard at the sight, closing your eyes for a moment to rid yourself of the neediness beginning to grow at a rapid rate. There was something about her, so effortless and unintentional as she drove you to madness without ever realizing it. “I’m going to run to the bathroom. Meet you back here?”

“Sure thing, baby.” You clicked your tongue, thankful that she made it all the easier for you to do what you needed to do. You let her exit the booth first, shamelessly staring as she disappeared into the small crowd by the door.

When she was out of sight, you rushed over to the bar, grabbing two more drinks and bringing them back to the table. You sat them down, checking over your shoulder to ensure she hadn’t come back yet. When you deemed the coast clear, you took a step towards the Jukebox—or a poor, modern excuse for one, at that. You assumed the old one was broken beyond repair, so they were forced to replace it with the electronic screen. Although it was a little easier to navigate, it took the charm from it almost entirely. Still, you knew her well, and as much as she tried to believe she wasn’t a sentimental person, she was a sucker for an old memory. The night had only further proven that to you, and when she stepped back out to join you, you would finally confess the last little bit of truth you were keeping secret.

Having the song typed in and ready to play, you turned to wait for her, holding your breath for the entire time. To you, it seemed like an eternity, but in reality, it was barely a minute until she came back into view. Her red dress flowed gracefully around her, the long curls bouncing with every step, and a smile on her face that left you speechless every time she looked your way. She was perfect, an Angel sent to earth to make everyone else jealous of her, and you were the one lucky enough to call her yours, for a second time nonetheless. You reached backwards, barely able to pull your eyes away from her as you pressed the play button. As soon as you did, it felt like the world stopped turning, like you were frozen in time until she decided if your heart was worthy of her love, one last time.

TAGLIST: @anythingforjtk @highway-tuna @klarxtr @hollyco @thetroublegetssoloud71 @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @raceb14 @watchingover-hypegirl @starshine-gvf @do-it-jakey-baby @gretavansara @jakesbeloved @woyayaofdreams @jakeyt @kiszkas-canvas @gracev0609 @josh-iamyour-mama @musicspeaks @gretavangroupie @gretavanmoon

[zeltqz]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] SIX

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 7k

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

content. smoking, mild drug use, SMUT, mentions of past alcohol addiction, murder/implied death threats

a/n: i am so SORRRY you all had to wait like two fucking months for the next chapter. I came back from my summer vacation and had my birthday recently so i was inactive sorry sososrryryryryr ��😔 hope you enjoyed this chapter ily all

2006

You tried concentrating as you poured some milk into your cereal but the sounds of the TV channels being flipped every two seconds drove you to borderline insanity. “Would you chill out?” you asked, glaring at Ran over your bowl of cereal.

“Can’t find anything worth watching.” He was lounging around in your living room, his feet kicked up on your table and shrugged, turning to look at you and flashing a cheesy yet charming grin in your direction. 

Your mother walked down the stairs, rubbing her eyes tiredly. When she saw a shirtless Ran sitting on her couch, she almost passed out when she saw the litter of tattoos on his chest, trailing up and down his leg and arm. 

Ran felt her stare and glanced at her, raising a curious eyebrow and anything she had to complain about instantly faded as she shut her mouth and walked over to the kitchen. 

She dragged you to a corner of the kitchen, one where Ran couldn’t hear. “Is this the guy…you were telling me about?” she asked, concerned.

“Yes?” you responded, looking at her weirdly and scooped your spoon back into your cereal. “Why?”

“Why is he here..? At ten in the morning?”

“Oh. Because he slept over.” You took a bite of your food, satisfied with the small unhelpful answers you were giving her.

“Oh. I didn’t see him last night. What time did you get home?”

You shrugged. “Around 2-3?”

She pressed her lips together, firmly. “Where’s his shirt?”

“I got hot during the night,” you laughed but she didn’t find it funny.

“Well couldn’t you give him another one?”

“Unless you want to see him in one of my tank tops then no.” The amusement slowly drifted away when you realised she wasn’t humouring you at all and she was being serious. “Why are you asking so many questions?”

She gave you a concerned look, like she expected the answer to be obvious but it only pissed you off more. Who the hell was she to judge who you liked?

Reading the look on your face, she instantly dropped the topic, not wanting to get into another argument with you, especially not sober. “Okay, fine. I won’t ask any questions.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the cupboard. “Are you at least going to school today? It started three hours ago.”

You shook your head. “I’m staying here with Ran today. You’ll be gone, right? For that job interview?”

“...yeah. My AA sponsor said I should start getting back on my feet.”

“Good.” You put your cereal bowl down. “I can stop carrying the household on my back and you can start doing your job as a mother,” you said sweetly, tilting your head condescendingly to the side. 

She returned your incredibly fake smile for a second and then sighed, dropping the act and returning back to concerned mother. “Skipping school for a boy though…? Is that really smart?”

You glared at her, pushing your side off the counter to stand in front of her. “Don’t start this. Not now. I’m happy, and he makes me happy. If you cared about me, you’d accept it. Hiro likes him too!”

She shook her head and took a deep breath, trying to come off as gentle yet firm. “You may think he makes you happy, but—”

“I think I know what I like mom. I’m eighteen! I’m not some child that doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“You’re dating a guy that looks at least twenty—”

“I’m nineteen,” Ran called back from the living room, his eyes glued onto his phone. 

Your mother’s mouth closed shut as she ate down her words and you looked at her, waiting to see what bullshit she’d come up with next. She lowered her voice to a whisper, “I didn’t know he could hear us.”

“So?”

Your mother grabbed your hands and squeezed them reassuringly. “What you’re going through, baby, is what every teenage girl goes through at your age. It’s a phase.”

“It’s not a—fuck! Mom!”

“It is!! I went through the same thing at your age. Next thing you know I got knocked up by a—”  she lowered her voice to ensure Ran couldn’t hear this time, “a delinquent. And how do you think that turned out?” You shrugged your shoulders. “Exactly. He fucking left. Where else do you think your dad is right now?”

“I don’t care about that man. Ran is nothing like that. He actually cares about me. He got me a job, taught me things and even let’s me stay at his place when I don’t want to stay here.”

“Wait, you stay at his? Like live with him?” 

You nodded slowly. “The fact you don’t even know when I’m gone is concerning. What’s the problem anyway?I use protection if that’s what you’re so scared of—” 

“I just don’t want you fucking up your life like I did mine. Especially at your age. Okay?”

“Who said I’m—”  Your mother shushed you when your volume was starting to rise. You cleared your throat and spoke again, but more quietly, “who said I’m fucking my life up?”

“You’re literally skipping school!”

“It’s the first time! Just for today! It’s his only free day, okay? I dunno when I’ll be able to spend time with him again. Just let me have this. Please? I’ll catch up on my school work tomorrow. I promise.”

“He’s not a good influence, baby. You’re smart, you can do better than this.” 

“Are we done here?” You sighed, rubbing your temples in irritation. Your mother looked like she had more to say but closed her mouth and slowly shook her head. “Good.” You walked away from the kitchen, into the living room and flopped down on the couch next to Ran. 

You waited until your mother walked back up the stairs before turning to face Ran, putting your head on his shoulder.

 “Hey, pretty girl. You done arguing with your mother yet?” He said, attention fully on his phone and lifted his arm up to wrap around your shoulder, holding you tightly against his side. 

“Hiya,” you smiled and nuzzled your face in his chest, taking in his strong scent. “My mother thinks you’re a bad influence.”

“Can’t say I disagree,” he said, grinning. You playfully slapped his arm and he slid his hand down to your sides before lifting you up and to straddle his lap. 

“I’m sorry you had to hear that,” you said softly, lacing your arms behind his head and leaning down to peck him on the lips. “She’s just a hypocrite.”

“It’s fine baby. C’mere.” You shifted on his lap to rest your head against his shoulder. “You worry too much. Who cares what people think.”

“I don’t care. I just hate her fucking opinion. She always judges everything I do. Then once she starts drinking again she becomes the most irresponsible person on the planet, but expects me to be a saint? It’s so tiring.” 

Ran hummed and kissed your forehead. “Want me to make you feel better?”

You bit your lip and looked up at him before smiling. He tossed his phone on the opposite couch and flipped your positions, your back resting flat against the couch as he hovered over you. You erupted in a fit of giggles and laughter as he kissed his way down your stomach, making you squirm and squeal with excitement. The buzz of butterflies flew in your stomach as he kissed down your belly. Your shorts were short enough to show him the lace of your panties Mira helped you pick out during your shopping spree last week. You watched intently, bunching his long hair up and out of his face as his lips lingered close to your thighs. Your breath hitched as he stuck out his tongue, running it along the thin fabric, then licked a trail back up your body, to your face, kissing you deeply. 

Your mother watched from the staircase shaking her head in disappointment as she watched you fall for someone like him. She's had experience with guys like Ran, she knows what kind of monster they are deep down inside and knows exactly how they were. After all, she fucked around with a guy like that and got pregnant at 20. Your dad was a deadbeat, refusing to accept you as his own and left when you were four. Ever since that night, she's been drinking to cope with the loneliness, unable to function by herself after getting so attached to him. They'd be on and off for a couple years, and constantly get your hopes up that you'd be a happy family, but they just weren't meant to work out.

In all honesty, she would have loved for you to meet someone else, a nice guy who could give you a stable relationship, but that's impossible. In her eyes, Ran was bad news, he was all fun and games, but deep down he had no feelings for you other than lust. And once you fell for him, he would use you until he got bored and moved onto the next girl. She couldn't imagine why you would fall for him. But it was obvious how happy you are with him. So you can only hope that she was wrong. That maybe one day you will meet someone special, and not end up like her.

So she let out a heavy sigh, and went back upstairs. 

Present day.

It had been a week, and the phone Mikey gave you remained eerily silent, devoid of any notifications or messages. You spent the weekend at Shion’s house, keeping conversations to a minimum, only sharing faint smiles when he’d place his hand on your waist for a kiss. You weren’t in the mood, and you felt guilty for taking your sour mood on him, but the conversation with Dona and the plan Mikey and Sanzu formed had put a damper on your entire mood.

You hadn’t left Shion’s house either; instead, you laid on the bed, consumed by your thoughts about what you’d have to do with Mira. Your finger hovered over Mira’s contact for a few moments before you finally decided to get over yourself and text her.

You: MIRAA i missed you so much. Are you free anytime soon? 

You cringed at the text but sighed and hit send. Mira seemed likely to be busy, what with her engagement to the head of police, or chief of police? Frankly, you couldn’t be bothered to remember Naoto’s job title. While waiting for her response, you managed to clean both Shion’s bedroom and the living room. Boredom had driven you to it, there was nothing else for you to do anyway. 

Ran’s number remained blocked, even though you knew it wasn’t his fault that lackeys broke into Hiro’s house and beat him half to death like you thought initially. But at the end of the day, you still promised Hiro you’d stay away from Ran. It wasn’t as simple as it sounded, especially since the initial anger toward him had faded now that you knew the incident wasn’t planned, not even Mikey had been aware of it.

You were in the midst of wiping down the kitchen counters, earphones playing your favourite song in your eyes when your phone suddenly buzzed in your back pocket. The vibration startled you, and you hastily set the cleaning wipes aside. After drying your hands on the sides of your jeans, you grabbed your phone from your pocket.

Mira: HEY!!!!!!!!! ITS BEEN SO LONG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH :( SORRY BUT I’M BUSY ALL WEEK. I’M FREE THIS WEEKEND THOUGH. IS SATURDAY ALRIGHT?

You chewed the inside of your cheek, taking a moment to think. Next Saturday seems fine, but you feel by then it’ll have already been two weeks and you don’t want to wait too long before Mikey and Sanzu think you’re stalling. You brought out the burner phone in your dresser and unlocked it, pulling out Dona’s saved contact details and called her for advice.

You had a few questions on your mind to ask her. How long does it take to piss Mikey off, how many bodies does Sanzu have, how to quit this Bonten agreement with all your limbs and organs intact. It still angered you to even think about asking Dona, especially after the argument, but you had no other choice.

It seemed like the idea of talking to you pissed Dona off as well since she practically growled, “What the hell do you want?” the second she picked up the phone.

“Oh grow up, would you? This 8 year one sided grudge you have isn’t cute.”

“Did you think for a second that maybe it’s not a ‘one-sided grudge’ and I just genuinely don’t fucking like you?”

You rolled your eyes so far back in your head and settled down on the bed with a hefty sigh. “Cool. Anyway, are you free on Saturday?”

“...why?”

“Is it not fucking obvious why?” you snapped. There was a long silence on the other end before you groaned loudly. “Mira? The plan? The whole entire reason we’re even talking right now?”

“Oh. That. Can’t, sorry. I’m busy on Saturday.”

“Well that’s the only day Mira is available so clear up some damn room and cancel your plans.”

“I’ll think about it.” Dona said.

“‘Kay. Thank you D—” There was a beep and the disconnected sound blared in your eyes. “Bitch.” You tossed the burner back into the dresser with a thud and you quickly made sure you didn’t crack the screen. Inspection over, you grabbed your main phone and texted Mira saying you couldn’t wait to see her this weekend, smiling when she sent a string of emojis mixed with hearts and smiley faces before disappearing offline.

Your heart warmed knowing she hadn’t changed a single bit, always sending those same string of emojis whenever you both parted ways during texts. You left your phone on the bed, about to head back to the kitchen when your phone buzzed against the sheets. You picked up the phone, only to see there were no notifications. Confused, you looked around, remembering the burner phone and grabbed it. 

The phone only had 9 saved numbers: Mikey, Sanzu and Dona were the only ones that you knew of. You didn’t bother checking the rest. Pulling up the contacts, you saw the names of all the other executives: Ran, Rindou, Kokonoi, Takeomi, Mochizuki and Kakucho.

“Oh my god, Kaku,” you said to nobody but yourself. You were faintly acquainted with Kakucho, only saying hello and exchanging waves whenever you crossed paths, which wasn’t often either. You barely saw Ran’s friends back then except Rindou. 

You checked the recent messages on the burner. You couldn’t help but feel lightness in your chest when you saw the message was from Ran. 

Ran: so this is where you’ve been hiding

You smiled at the text, shifting onto your back on the bed and typed back a response. 

You: how did you find me

Ran: you forget who I work for?

You: oh. yeah makes sense

You: so what do you want

Ran: i miss you

You: u went 8 years without me. You’ll live

Ran: and I joined a criminal organisation, cut my hair short and dyed it pink and purple. What does that tell you

You: that I’m amazzzingggg

Ran: ik u are. 

Ran: come over tonight 

You: I can’t sorry. I made a promise that I can’t see u again

Ran: I would take that seriously if you didn’t make that same exact promise to ur mother ten years ago

Ran: and I still got u in my bed

You: …

You: fine. But I don’t want your drivers driving me around anymore. 

Ran: thought you would like the princess treatment 

You: no I don’t. You can help buy me a car tho?

Ran: ?

You: plsplsplsplspslspslssss

Ran: I’ll think about it

You: and I’ll see you tonight 

Ran: alright baby

“I’m back!” Shion called from the front door. 

You turned your phone off and entered the living room, approaching Shion from behind. You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him into a bear hug. He stumbled forward from the impact, taking a second to catch his footing before peeking behind his arm at your face dug into his back. “Aw, you missed me.”

He turned around and you let go of his waist, his hands rising to hold your face and plaster a wet sticky kiss on your forehead. 

“Ew, gross,” you mumbled, a hint of a playful smile on your lips as you wiped your hand over the leftover spit. He grumbled for you to shut up and walked over to the kitchen, opening the fridge door to examine its contents. “I’m not gonna be home on Saturday,” you said as you followed behind him.

“Really? Why?”

“I’m hanging out with Mira. A little reunion thing, you know?”

“That’s cute.” He pulled out the milk and opened it, sniffing it, then grimaced and tossed it in the trash. “But who the hell is Mira?”

“You really don’t remember her? Me, her and Dona?”

Shion removed his head from the fridge and looked at you and shrugged. “Oh wait.” He took a moment and you crossed your arms, waiting. “Oh! Her! Didn’t she have a crush on me?” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes. “She found you cute at first, then you got knocked out in a fight. Instant ick.”

His eyes narrowed. “That fight wasn’t fair and you know it. Nobody told Hanma to bring a goddamn bat.”

“Like you’d win if he didn’t have the bat—” You just about dodged the empty water bottle he tossed at you. You quickly grabbed it and threw it back in his direction. He swiftly swatted it away before it could hit him and you scoffed. “If only you could fight as good as you could dodg—”

“That’s it.” He picked you up by the legs and carried you over to the couch, ignoring your complaints which eventually turned into laughter when he set you onto the couch. He swatted away some cushions and pinned you against the surface. 

“You caught me off guard. That’s all.”

“Yeah okay.” He laughed and dipped his head down towards yours. You parted your lips when his tongue slid past your teeth, hot against your own. You giggled, closing your eyes as he nipped at your bottom lip. 

“Lemme borrow your car later,” you said in between kisses, wrapping your legs around his waist as he started nibbling at your neck.

“What?” he mumbled softly, breaking the kiss and looking down at you. “Fuck it’s been so long since I fucked you.”

“I said,'' you wound your arms around his neck. “Can you lemme borrow your car tonight?”

His eyes travelled down your body and his gaze lingered on the swell of your tits through your shirt for a moment before moving back up to your eyes when you purposefully moved your head to his eyeline. “Please?”

“Uh. What for?”

You shrugged and lolled your head back against the couch, your finger rising to wrap your finger around the silver chain dangling from his neck. “I just want to drive around. I’m bored. Please?”

“I mean sure…but—” You swiftly sat up and kissed his cheek as a distraction. His cheeks were flushed slightly and he bit down on his lower lip, a satisfied grin forming on his face when your lips slowly trailed from his cheeks to his lips, kissing him slowly and passionately, the way you know he likes it. 

You pulled away and brought his head down to your lips, whispering, “please?” into his ear. He groaned and kissed you one last time before thoroughly agreeing. “Thank you thank you thank you! Mwah.” You planted one more kiss on his lips before pushing him off of you and slipping off the couch.

~*~

“What exactly is this supposed to be?”

Ran shrugged, finished downing his drink and placed it back on the counter top before leaning forward to get a closer look at the little baggie you had in your hand. “Kokonoi gave it to me.”

“Yeah okay, but—” You let out a noise of doubt and put it back on the table. “I don’t trust it.”

“Since when were you a pussy?” 

You looked up at Ran and glared at the smug smile on his face. “I’m not a pussy Ran. I just don’t want to eat a random pill that you yourself said you don’t know what it's called!”

He rested his elbows on the marble countertop and his grin widened. “I took it earlier and I’m fine.”

“That’s because you barely have brain cells left to scramble.” You reached over the counter and ruffled his perfectly styled hair. “I’ll do it because I trust you.” You removed the pink pill from the baggie and held it up to your eyes, examining it cautiously. “If this kills me—”

“It won’t, you big baby. Eat it.”

You bit your lip and thought for a moment before looking back up at him. “Fine. Get me some water.”

“Just swallow it.”

You huffed, “I need some water to help. I can’t just swallow it.”

He looked at you, amused, and crossed his arms. “Why not?”

“Because! Ugh, shut up!” You put the pill back on the counter and stormed over to the cabinet, grabbing an empty glass, then to the tap to fill it with tap water. Ran laughed from his corner of the kitchen as he watched you stomp your way around his kitchen, like a storm. You turned to glare at him, his laugh only making you even more annoyed. “What the hell is so funny?”

“You,” he cackled again when your eyebrows furrowed deeper. “Your temper. It’s hilarious.”

“I don’t have a goddamn temper.”

“You explode at anything small. It’s cute.” He walked over towards you and booped your nose, the tip of his finger skirting down your cheek to your chin, lifting your face up to his eyeline. “You really haven’t changed a single bit. It’s reassuring.”

“Well, thanks.” You looked down at the glass of water with an uncertain look on your face. “This’ll get me high right?”

“Yeah.” You took a second for motivation and Ran moved to grab the pill off the counter. He returned in front of you, “Open your mouth.” He waited until your mouth was open before slotting the pill on the flat pink of your tongue. You brought the water up to your mouth and took a sip before digesting it. 

Thanks to the water, you couldn’t feel the full effects of the pill hitting you until a few hours later, you resting on top of Ran’s chest, drifting in and out of sleep. He had you locked tight around his arms, enjoying the warmth and weight of you atop of him. He felt you shuffle around, trying to get comfortable.  

“What car do you want?” Ran asked, looking down at your head resting against his chest. Your head was tucked under his chin, one arm wrapped around his waist as the other clutched onto his shirt. 

Your head felt heavy when you tried to lift it from his chest and squinted up at him. With the drugs running through your veins, everything looked brighter and crispier, colours seeming sharper than usual. It was hard to focus. “Ummm, what car?” you asked slowly.

Ran chuckled softly and leaned downwards, pressing his lips against your forehead. “The one you asked me to buy you.”

“Hm.” You sat up from his chest and straddled his lap. He slid his hands up your thighs to hold onto your hips. Your hands rested beside his head as you hazily looked down at him. “I wasn’t serious about that. You know?”

“Serious or not, I’ll buy it for you. Anything you want. Just tell me.”

“Really?” you smiled and bit your lip.

He shifted upwards, inching closer to your face, your nose brushing against his. “Anything you want.”

You couldn’t resist the close proximity anymore and dipped your head downwards, kissing him gently. You lifted one hand from the bed to rest on the side of his face. He pulled your hips closer, pressing you hard against his erection. The friction and the heat of his body against yours made you moan softly, which he eagerly swallowed up with each kiss. 

You could feel his cock begin to harden against your inner thigh and bit down on his lip before sucking it back into his mouth, relishing in the low groan he left out when you slowly pushed your hips back against his lap. Your hands gripped onto the pillow under him, digging your nails into the fabric as you latched your lips onto the skin of his neck, biting and sucking gently on the flesh. His hand skimmed past your thighs, along the curve of your ass and gripped it, squeezing whatever he could grab and groaned at the feeling of your soft lips against his skin, sucking softly.

You broke the kiss and licked down his neck. His skin tasted sweet and tangy, sending tingles throughout your entire body. 

Your world was flipped when he switched positions in the blink of an eye and hovered above you, gazing into your eyes with lust filled desire. You looped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, locking your lips together.You felt Ran’s hands slide across your leg and hitched it upwards to wrap around his waist, and you whimpered in response, your back arching as you let yourself loose around him.

“This okay?” he murmured softly against your lips as his hand slowly entered inside your jeans. You nodded vigorously and pulled him back down for a kiss, slipping your tongue desperately between his lips. The sheets got tangled beneath your bodies as you both kissed passionately. 

You pushed him onto his side, his hand lifting your thigh to rest over your leg. His fingers unzipped your jeans and helped you toss them off before lifting your thigh to rest over his leg, sliding his hand down to rest against your ass, his grip creating a heat wild enough within you and sending a jolt of electricity to your core.

With every inch of his body pressed against you, you couldn’t help but moan. “Fuck me please Ran. I need it.”

Ran hummed deeply against your lips and pushed you onto your back. He knelt between your legs and you giggled as he parted them open with his big hands. You reached downwards, his fingers teasing the waistband of his pants and you helped him push it down and off his hips. You grabbed his cock, the tip wet with pre and positioned it by your entrance. He braced his hands beside your head, his forehead touching yours as your pussy twitched when he moved closer to you, trailing kisses along your neck.

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, closing your eyes shut when you felt his cock slowly enter you. “Fuck fuck fuck oh my god.” You dug your fingers into his shoulder blades and arched your back, feeling the head slide past your barrier, stretching you out.

“Almost there baby.” He kept thrusting slowly, taking his time and going further inside of you with each stroke. You cried out loud, louder than before, moaning constantly as he pushed himself deeper into you. “God, you’re so tight.” He groaned out your name and your body shivered at the raspiness of his voice.

“More,” you panted desperately, your eyes meeting his gaze for the first time since entering you. 

He snapped his hips forward, filling you completely and pulled all the way out, his cock wet with your juices before fucking back into you. The heat of his skin searing your walls as you sank your nails into his shoulders. His lips found yours again, soft and warm. Your fingertips flipped across his back and you felt his cock throb within you. Each thrust had you clenching around him, clutching him tight to your body as he fucked you with slow, methodical strokes.

You tossed your head back, panting and crying out, clutching onto his hair, the back of his shirt, anything you could possibly muster. 

“Arms up baby,” he ordered and sat back, his cock still warming your sides. His hands held onto your hips, digging into the soft flesh as you shrugged your shirt off, reaching behind your back to unclasp your bra and toss it off the bed. It landed into a sorry puddle on the floor along with your shirt and Ran’s jeans, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when you looked back and saw Ran in the middle of shedding his shirt off. 

“I always loved this tattoo,” you giggled, running your arms along the pattern before bringing him back down to your level, arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down for another steamy kiss. 

You spread your legs wider apart and pressed down on his lower back to get him deeper inside you. His mouth travelled to your breasts where he started sucking on your nipples, biting down softly and nibbling on them. He slipped his hand beneath your body and grasped your clit, rubbing lightly in circles causing you to gasp loudly. You came apart in his arms, shattering into pieces and screaming his name in his ear. He pumped faster and harder, his hips slamming against yours as you tightened around his cock once more. His climax shot through him, thrusting every inch of his cum spilling inside of you. Every drop was heaven, you felt yourself tighten up once more and seconds later your orgasm arrived, intensifying everything. You dripped on his cock and held onto him so tight you swore there were permanent nail marks on the bone of his shoulder.

He pulled out and collapsed beside you, breathing heavily. Your muscles relaxed slightly and your eyes fluttered closed as he pulled you to lay close against him. He kissed your neck softly, stroking your thighs with his hands. 

“You alright?” he asked quietly.

“Mmmm. I’m amazing,” you hummed in agreement, resting your head against his chest and nuzzling against him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. “I really missed you Ran.”

His eyes traced your face and he saw the genuinity in your eyes. “Me too baby.” He smiled softly and his hands slid down your bare back and cupped your ass, pulling you tighter against him. “Missed this too.”

He leaned in and kissed you on the lips. Anything you had to say melted away as you indulged in him, humming softly into his mouth before pulling away. 

~*~

The supermarket was busy and bustling as Mira walked through the aisles with her shopping cart. She had a whole list ready and was looking for the dairy aisle when she bumped into someone’s cart. “Sorry!” she apologised and gasped when she looked up and saw who it was. “Dona?”

Dona smiled at her and waved, putting her basket on the floor as Mira practically pounced on her, pulling her into a suffocating hug. 

“I thought I’d never see you again! What the hell?!” Mira pulled away and rested her hands on Dona’s shoulders, practically buzzing with excitement. “You look so good!”

“Oh stop,” Dona pushed her hands off her shoulders. “You’re still so damn energetic, it’s crazy.” She put her hands in her pocket. “What’s up though. What’re you shopping for?”

“Oh this stupid party Naoto wants me to host for his cop buddies.” Mira sighed and walked back to her cart. “I love Naoto but fuck, those damn cops are so annoying.”

“Really?” Dona asked, grabbing her shopping list. “Wouldn’t expect nothing more from a buncha cops. I’m surprised you’re even with one to be honest. Thought you hated them.”

“I do!” Mira said, hiding her face behind her hands while laughing. “No but Naoto’s…different.”

Dona stared blankly at her. “Different…?”

“Yeah! He’s not like those backwards, misogynistic asshole cops. He’s so sweet and treats me like a queen and he’s so sweet! Oh my god! He does this cute thing in the mornings and brushes my hair out of my face and whispers “good morning beautiful” in my ear every morning. I pretend I’m asleep just so I can hear him say it and he kisses me goodbye before work and—”

“Okay I get it! Sheesh, rub in your relationship more in my face would you?” Dona sighed and picked up her basket, following next to Mira as she began walking with her trolley. 

“I can’t believe you’re still single! Guess he really broke your heart, huh?”

“Don’t even talk about him right now. Fuck Shuji. That fucking asshole.”

Mira laughed. “That was like what, ten years ago? You need to let that go.”

“I’m trying! Okay?! But my minds been occupied with…stuff.”

Mira stopped by the meat aisle and began searching for some chicken breast. “Stuff or someone?”

“Someone as in a boy?” Dona asked and Mira nodded, checking the back of the package before dumping it into the trolley. “No, I'm not seeing someone.”

“You should.”

“I’m good.”

“You used to be so boy crazy! What happened?”

Dona shrugged and looked down at the floor for a short moment, biting the soft tissue of her cheek. “I just grew up I guess. Anyway, this party thing. When is it?”

“Tomorrow night. I have to cook for a bunch of weirdo cops. Not looking forward to it.” Mira paused for a moment and then gasped. “You should come with me!”

Dona blinked at her. “What?”

“Yes! Oh my god please please please. I’ll need someone to keep me company.” She clung onto Dona’s arms as she begged. “I’m so sick of all the other cops' wives. They’re all judgemental and yucky and like three times my age. Definitely jealous of my youth.”

Dona laughed and Mira pouted, hoping it’ll be enough to convince her. With a final sigh, Dona finally gave in. “Fine. But only for two hours. I have work.”

“Really? What do you work as?”

“I uh…it’s complicated.”

“At least you have a job. I’m just known as Naoto’s wife and stay at home all day. Maybe I could come visit you on your free days?”

“It’s oof.” Dona thought about it for a moment. “I can take you to a club I work at whenever you’re free. Sometimes we gamble and stuff. You wanna join?”

“Gambling…? I thought that was illegal.”

“Never stopped us back in the day.” Dona winked, playing around and watched the conflict flicker all over her face. “It’ll be a little secret. You don’t have to tell Naoto anything.”

“Of course I won’t! I may be marrying a cop but I’m not a snitch. Especially on my best friend. I’m just worried about what Naoto would think about me going to a gambling club. He’d definitely lock the place up, haha.”

Dona rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to tell him anything. You’re allowed to have secrets.”

“Legal secrets, yeah.”

“Come onnnnnnnnn. Join me! It’ll be fun, I promise. I’ll even invite (Name) over.”

Mira’s face lit up even more. “Really?! She can come!?

“She fuckin’ better come.” 

“Oh my god the gang's back together!” Mira chirped and jumped before pulling Dona into a big hug. “I can’t wait! Lemme go text (Name) right now!”

“You go do that.” Dona checked her phone. “I gotta go anyway. My boss wants me to clock in now.” She pulled Mira in for another hug. “I’ll see you as soon as I can, okay.”

“Okay, bye bye!”

When Dona left the store, she quickly typed a message to you before entering her car and driving off.

~*~

“Are you busy tomorrow?” you asked hesitantly.

Ran laughed softly. “I’m working tomorrow. Probably be gone for most of the day.” He shifted onto his back and laced his arms behind his head. You propped yourself onto your side and frowned. “What’s wrong baby.”

You shrugged and looked downwards at the mattress, speaking in a quiet voice. “I dunno, I'm just lonely. And bored. I don’t really have anything to do lately.”

He ran his thumb down your cheekbone. “You wanna come with me?”

“Depends. Do I have to witness a murder?”

He grinned widely. “If everything goes well tomorrow night then there’ll be no murder.”

You snorted. “So there’s still a possibility, huh?”

“People die everyday,” he mused and you looked at him with a serious face, pursing your lips together and he sighed. “Fine. Fine. Even if things go to shit tomorrow I promise I won’t kill anybody. I’ll…think of other things.”

“Good enough for me.” You leaned in to kiss him again but stopped short when your phone buzzed. You groaned and reached behind you, fumbling for it on the dresser, bringing it up and reading the text from Mira and Dona. 

Mira: I RAN INTO DONA AT THE SUPERMARKET AND SHE WANTS TO HANG OUT TOMORROW!!!! ARE YOU FREE?

Dona: got mira to come to the club. Be there tomorrow at 7

“Oh fuck,” you muttered under your breath. 

“What’s wrong?” Ran leaned his head on your shoulder and read the text message. 

“Guess I won’t be following you to work tomorrow then,” you said, turning your phone off. You looked over at the heavyweight on your shoulder and rested your head against his. “I’m seeing Mira tomorrow. So I guess you know what that means?”

“Is this about that stupid plan you made with Sanzu?” He asked, pulling away from your head, reaching inside his drawer for a cigarette. You nodded and watched him light the end and shifted back on the bed, bringing the covers over your naked body to cover you. 

“You know about that plan?”

“Little bit.” He lit the cigarette and tossed the lighter back into the drawer. “If it’s not affecting me or any of my business, I don’t care enough to ask more.”

“It’s not affecting you? This Naoto dude?” you asked, trying to get a bigger picture.

“I mean he is, but I’m careful. He’s not catching me anytime soon.”

“Still cocky as ever huh,” you said and he grinned widely around his cigarette. “Anyway I hate the plan a lot. But it's for Hiro's benefit and I’m willing to do anything for him. Even if it means fucking up Mira’s marriage and her fiance’s career forever.”

Ran could feel like there was something up with you and eyed you for a moment. To anyone it was clear the plan was bugging you and as much as you tried acting cool about it, he could tell the guilt was slowly eating you inside. He exhaled cigarette smoke out before putting it on the ashtray beside his bed, shifting back against the bedframe and opened his arms for you to fit in. “C’mere.”

You looked at him and his open arms and shifted forward, crawling the distance between you both and rested between his arms. He enclosed them around you, the side of his face resting against your forehead.

“Do you need some advice from me or want me to shut up and stay silent?” he asked for a moment.

You let out a silent laugh and nodded. “Advice please.”

“Okay.” He cleared his throat and began speaking. “Sometimes in life you gotta do bad shit. Even if you don’t wanna.” He finished talking and you waited a couple seconds for him to continue. 

You were confused when he unwrapped his arms around you and slid off the bed, putting his boxers back on and stretching. 

“What the hell? Is that it Ran?”

“Yeah.” He walked over to his closet and began rummaging for tomorrow’s outfit.

“What kind of advice was that?!” You groaned, stopping your eyes from rolling back. “Sometimes I forget how useless you are.”

“Temper baby,” he responded back, flicking through the range of suits and blazers hung in his closet. You took a moment to admire his closet, impressed with his collection of suits, ranging in different colours and couldn’t help but imagine anybody but Ran pulling it off.

He found an old dress hung up and tossed it in your direction. “Try this shit on for me.” 

The dress landed on your face and you grimaced and pulled it off. Holding it up in the air, you examined it, front to back. “Why the hell do you even have a dress? It’s so small it can’t even fit me!”

“Some girl must’ve left it over,” he said casually, picking out a purple form fitting suit from the hanger and left it on the edge of his bed. All forms of amusement on your face slowly melted at the mention of another girl and you deadpanned in his direction, but he missed it as he began changing back into his clothes. “Does it fit you?” he asked, fitting his shirt over his head.

“Don’t tell me you expect me to wear this? I’m not wearing some recycled dress.”

“You want me to buy you a new dress?” he asked, looking at you.

“Duh.”

He knelt down on the edge of the bed and grabbed the dress, tossing it towards the end of the bed. Your complaint was cut short when he grabbed your ankle and tugged, successfully tipping your back onto the mattress as he inched forwards, climbing over you. His hands laced between yours and you looked up at him, wide eyed. 

“I wonder what it’ll take to get rid of this attitude of yours, hm.” You tried to struggle out of his grip but your attempts were pointless. 

“I don’t have an attitude.”

“Yeah you do. Now ask nicely and I’ll get you what you want.”

You bit down on your tongue and swallowed your pride before lowering your voice to a whisper. “Can you buy me a dress?”

“Can’t hear youuu,” he leaned his ear down lower to your mouth to hear better. “Use your words.”

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again.”

He pulled away and stood up from the bed. “Baby steps. But fine. I’ll take you shopping tomorrow.”

“Not tomorrow. I’m busy.”

“When are you free then?”

“Any day that’s not tomorrow.” You stood up from the bed. “But I’ll probably have to see you tomorrow if you’re going to be at the club Dona sent me.”

“Maybe.” He pulled you closer for a hug. Your arms wrapped around his midsection and you dug your face in his chest, enjoying how big and warm he was. 

“Can I stay over tonight?” you asked after a moment, looking up at him. 

“You’re gonna be home alone though. I’m not coming back till late.”

“How late?” He pulled his arms away from you. “Dunno. Maybe three? Four?”

“Jesus what the hell do you do all day?”

“Don’t worry.” He booped your nose and you scrunched it in response. “Get some sleep okay? I can see your damn eye bags.”

“Fine. Goodnight and thanks for letting me stay.” You got into bed, grabbing the big warm sheets and covering your whole body. 

“Anytime baby.”

masterlist

TAGLIST: @escafhwiluv @lyniana @haitanifxn @rindougf03 @mvteria @hisan-na @luvhaitani @mishueb @Dreamxies @yuma404 @sleeplessreader @shinichirolover @illusorysmut @Lxvephxbic @obsessedwreiner @ililailii @insayninthamembrayn @missgab @reihimbo @l0velikethis @lollevi @danasaan @tenjikusstuff4 @midoriapologist @alkanessa @asp7n @thebrownemo @levstar777 @sanaukii @yumidepain @jesjesboo @pink-sugar-rush @ssailorvenuss @mizukikyong @suckonlimes @xngelsau @wrldstarrr @lonnie19 @yanfei-kisser @wrldstarrr @hayeoyeon @christmassugarcookies @minimari415 @hxonieverse @rinshoe @taihjj @ezri261 @mkc-ana @secretanimesimp @https-sonshine @nil-eena @weebausarus @secretxchive @getosmybeloved @kakuchosbff @atarathegreat @erenwifey @nyanglock @illumiismyforeverhusband @tsumudrip @notdyl4n @haruchiiiyo @strawberryshorcakee3 @satoruloaf @whoreforfictionalmen18

[carbohydratedfella]

I cant believe this old man is what got me to start writting but here we are

Gif by @/princemick

Pt. 2 here: (LINK)

Steve Raglan/William Afton x Male!Reader

>> Pre-cannon (Before Freddy's Closed kinda). Reader works at Freddy's.

>> 1500+ words.

>> CW/TW: Brief mention of internalized homophobia, Description of violence and Blood. Angst + Fluff. Not proofread

...

Working at the pizzaria wasnt bad. The pay was good, the job was simple and the bosses were nice. At least that what you thought before the incidents started to happen.

One after the other, and the once cheerful and welcoming atmosphere of the pizzaria started turning into something to dread. Where parents wouldnt dare step in without the worry that their kid would go missing just like the other 5.

Althought all of the pizzaria's employees and employers were deemed innocent, the place still had to shut down. No customers meant no reason to keep It open. So with a sad goodbye, William and Henry had to fire everyone, they both seemed deeply hurt by that had happened, Henry specially.

You were smart. Very smart. Surely getting another job wasnt gonna be too hard, but It wasnt gonna be nearly as fun as this one.

The animatronics barely malfunctioned, all you really had to do was to ocasionally clean them from the dust and grease that would inevitably linger in a place filled with pizzas and soda.

...

You can still remember your first day here, fix a small engine and you were done. Then you met Henry, you definitelly warmed up to him fast, he was smarter than you and always shared his knowledge.

Then with a firm tap on your back he spoke:

"And dont mind William, he's just...excentric"

At first you questioned Him. In which way could he possibly mean that?

And then you finally met the man himself. Who just casually walked inside the room while wearing a lá Yellow Rabbit suit

"New guy!"

He came in with a laught and open arms. The bunny mask being slowly taken off of his face. He shook his head to move the messy, wet hair out of his face, some droplets of sweat that had formed on his forehead slowly making their way down to his neck

Oh no

You mouth hang open as you kept staring at your new boss. And maybe you stayed quite for too long because Henry had to snap you out of your transe, gently pointing to William again, who decided to speak a bit more loudly now, extending his hand to you. The costume still over It.

"Not gonna say hi to your new boss?"

He smirked, and for a moment you looked down at his hand, shaking It, as less akwardly as you could anyways given the big mascot hands he still had on.

Luckily things only got better from that day on, you learned a lot. About the animatronics, about your fellow employees, and most importantly, your boss.

He was charming and well spoken, It wouldn't be a surprise If more than one person had a crush on him.

Every morning was pretty much the same, you greet him, hand him a coffee like a good employee, then chat for a bit.

Sometimes you'd work on a animatronic toguether, his fingers gently touching yours as you exchanged tools or equipments.

Some industrial oil getting on your face and his hands, and It didnt help the fact he always insisted on cleaning It for you, just to smudged more grease into your face.

"Sorry"

He'd say, just to laught right after It. Lighthearted, no real malice behind It, just some innocent fun. One you gladly recipocrated, smudging the grease on his face while you both laughted and kept the banter up. Henry had to scold you both for the mess later.

But It was worth It. It felt nice.

His hands on you. Yours on him.

You felt like teenagers again.

One day where you came in early, you were even able to catch him speaking to his own springbonnie suit.

It was cute, and a bit funny to be honest. Specially his reaction when he noticed you staring at him the whole time, a big smile plastered across your face while his only filled with red embarassement. He even made a non serious threat to cut your pay In case you told anyone.

You couldnt help but let your infatuatiom grow. Swearing on God himself It was just admiration but as each day passed It got harder to push those feelings down.

You gaze on his frame only lasting longer than you wanted It to. You could memorise every inch oh his face and It still wouldnt be enough. One day, your co-worker even called you out on It, but you quickly dismissed It.

You? A Man? Liking another man? Your boss for that matter. It was embarassing.

The 80s wasnt a very...open decade. If anyone suspected you to being gay or at the very least bi, who knows what might happen.

What would he think?

Would he be disgusted by you? Would those precious moments that brought daylight to your week suddenly stop? Would he out you?

You didnt know.

You couldnt tell.

But you also didnt want to know.

...

God were you gonna miss this place. The joy and laughter that came with It, and of course, William.

You packed your things but decided to take one last tour around the pizzaria.

Your shoes echoed throught the corridors, so empty, so quiet. Everybody had already said their goodbyes and left, and yet you remained here.

You decided to head to one of the back rooms, check on the animatronics one last time.

Heading towards the main trio, you couldnt help but let your mechanic side of you say that there was something wrong about them. Last time you checked they were functioning and working, but why did something seem...odd?

You decides to approach Chica first, there was a distinct rancid putrid smell coming from her, from all of them.

All of your nerves and insticts were telling you to ignore It. To walk away and move on.

Its not like these animatronics were gonna be used anyways, the restaurant closed and who on their right mind would wanna keep them?

And yet, you still approached It. Maybe out of morbid curiosity, maybe something else. But one thing was certain, you were gonna find out what was wrong with them.

With a small click, you managed to open the chest cavity of Chica and ...

Oh god

What the fuck

There was a kid inside. Not breathing. Dead. The blood staining the hinges within the animatronic.

And you could imediatly recognized her as one of the missing children purely from the shirt she was wearing.

Who could do something like that?

You involuntarily started to take steps back. The room suddenly stared feeling heavy. Spinning. Too many thought and theories on why or how this has happened running throught your head.

You had to tell the police. You had to tell William.

Your back then suddenly hit something, or better, someone. You turned around and imediatly released a breath you didnt know you were holding.

"William!"

Relief imediatly washed over you, and yet the adrenaline didn't seem to dissipate. You firmly grabbed his shoulder and stared stammering over your words.

"The-The kids! I found one, they're Inside the Animatronics. For some...Reason? W-we have to call...."

But then you stopped.

And the room went silent again.

You simply stared into his eyes to see...

a smirk.

"Really now?"

He spoke calmly. Your own heartbeat deafening your ears. This didn't make any sense. Why was he so calm? WHY WAS HE SO CALM?

Slowly, pieces started forming Inside your head. Each step you too backwards was matched by one of his reaching towards you.

"C'moooon dont give me that face"

He then laughted.

"William this isnt funny"

"You were a very good employee you know that? Loyal and obedient"

He shrugged, but didnt stop moving closer.

"I'll ever go as far to say you were a favorite"

Your back then hit a wall. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to run.

You opened your mouth to speak again. But nothing came out. You were still too shocked at this revelation you had to make for yourself.

How could this charming man capable of doing such horrible things?

You felt your heart shatter. Into miniscure shards that only worsened your gut state. Your hands started to tremble, and sweat started forming on your forehead.

"You look nervous"

He spoke in a half taunting tone. Gently brushing your hair out of your face then gently resting his hand on your cheek.

"Youre not gonna tell anyone. Are you? I'd hate to waste someone like you"

At the same time you felt something sharp agaisnt your stomach.

A knife.

Your breath hitched and suddenly you felt your face fill with tears that you didnt even notice started falling.

The ache you felt within your chest wasnt hurting nearly as much as the pointy danger agaisnt you.

Was all of those moments you shared fake? Was he really just putting on a show to cover his mistracks?

"Answer me"

His gaze was firm, and you could feel It within your skin. He seemed serious, very serious, and he pushed the knife a bit more, enough to sting but not to draw blood.

You nodded. Shutting your eyes, scared he might just kill you anyways.

Thankfully, he didnt. He slowly stepped away and you felt like you could finally breath again.

Opening your eyes you were met with him suddenly approaching again. But this time with a hug.

He wrapped his arms around you. Gently squeezing you as he took one deep breath.

"I'll miss you"

What

Your hands remained in the air. Unsure what to do. This was a complete 180 to how he acted just 5 seconds ago.

His hands slowly reached to your back, and stared caressing you. Curse this for feeling so comforting. You literally had a killer whose arms were wrapped around you, who has a knife and almost killed you

and yet...

You couldnt help but melt into his embrace, your arms slowly wrapping around his. And your eyes slowly closing again.

Your heart didnt seem to slow down. Rapidly beating the same amount when you first saw him, and when he had his knife agaisnt you.

But then again love and fear both increase the adrenaline in your body, don't they?

....

Author's note: Hi yeah that's It. My first fic. I hope you liked reading this and I do plan on making a part 2 someday. "Someday"

[wanderinghedgehog]

Time to finally relay my thoughts on the Les Mis I saw August 3rd, 2024.

Keep in mind, I went into this as someone who wanted to get my mother and brother to like this story. Also, I’ve seen a million and one recordings, so I know the show pretty well already and am aware of my preferences concerning it.

Act 1

Intro was so good. I like the boat format for the prisoners. It gives the actors something to do and is good and clear tonally.

This Javert did not make a strong first impression. He seemed extremely muted idk.

So I’m not a Nick Cartell fan. I’m sorry. I just don’t like him that much. I might be able to explain why at some point.

The lighting was amazing in these opening scenes.

The bishop had such a nice voice. I always love the bishop.

Valjean went nuts with the “took my fliiiiiiiiight”

Oh I forgot to mention that all of the house lights hadn’t turned off yet. It was a little weird. They eventually got turned off either before or after Valjean’s Soliloquy.

Speaking of the Soliloquy, I’ve heard a recording of this actor singing this song before and it definitely sounds better in person. Better, but still not my favorite. Nick Cartell has a tendency to stray from the melody for acting purposes in a way that I’m not a fan of.

Also, this version had Petit Gervais. It was weird. And distracting. And disjointed. I didn’t like it.

I love a good ensemble number, so at the end of the day was great. Also, the transition from the crowd to the factory was so smooth.

I remember the foreman I think had a line that changed from the original that I was kinda confused about. Overall, I think this was a thing with both at the end of the day and lovely ladies. Like there were a handful of words that were switched and I didn’t understand why.

This Fantine was quite good. Like I’m glad this was the Fantine that I saw with my mom and brother. Solid performance.

This Bamatabois was odd. I think he was too much of a caricature.

Once again, Javert is quite subdued. Intimidating, sure. But not all that interesting otherwise. No swagger.

The staging of Fantine’s Arrest felt just a little busy, but that’s really a nitpick.

When did they cut part of Fauchelevent’s line in Runaway Cart?

So I really listen for how an actors says the line “forgive me sir I would not dare.” This was fine. Nothing special.

I will say that I liked Nick Cartell’s version of Who Am I.

Fantine’s death was so sad. I prefer versions like this where they don’t have her get out of bed. It’s simpler and it gets across her weakened state a little better, I think.

Confrontation was amazing. This Javert was really starting to prove himself here. It’s like the actor just started having fun with it.

This little Cosette was absolutely adorable. I’m not usually a fan of Castle On A Cloud, but this was great.

This production had a good Thenardier couple. Their comedic timing was great. This is not to discredit the amazing job that they did, but I’m not a huge fan of the Thenardiers. My family liked them a lot though, so they were definitely very funny.

So Look Down was a success because my family immediately liked Gavroche. As they should. My brother said that that the Look Down melody was one of his favorites.

Now I think it’s good to mention that this version didn’t have the time skip projections. Like those things that tell you what year it is. None to be seen. It confused my family. I was cool with explaining it though.

My brother found Marius annoying. +1 sibling point. We can make fun of Marius now. (to be clear, the actor was very good)

This Eponine was pretty cool, but my mom pointed something out that I think is worth mentioning. She’s not lit very well. My eyesight is shit, so I’m trusting my mom when she said that it was impossible to see the actor’s face.

This Cosette is so adorable. Like everything about her so sweet. In love with her.

This scene had an interesting set design that I don’t know if I’ve seen before. It looked a little more slanted than usual. It was cool though.

The beginning of Javert’s Intervention got a laugh, so that was good. He really leaned into the drama more than before.

During Javert’s Intervention, I tend to find Thenardier’s part a little overwrought and distracting. Unfortunately, this was one of those cases. My brother liked it though.

Javert kinda went back to being subdued for Stars. Actually no. He brought some energy for “and so it must BE”

Les Amis in this production were fantastic. My mom really liked Red and Black apparently.

This Enjolras had a weird fluttery vibrato that I’m kinda obsessed with.

Kyle Adams’ performance as Grantaire was magical. I don’t know if I can point out specific moments, but it was fantastic.

I am once again in love with Cosette.

Neither my mother nor brother were fans of the romance aspect of the story. I don’t blame them.

That said, the harmony at the end of heart full of love was angelic.

One Day More is always a showstopper. No notes.

Actually, I will mention that Javert hasn’t changed costumes yet. We don’t get to see his disguise til the second act. I kinda like that because, if you don’t recognize him immediately at the barricade, it makes the reveal later kinda fun to watch.

Oops turns out I’ll have to post this in two parts

[billiuspendragon]

Mob Psycho 100 playlist

I made a playlist, and I'm gonna post the songs on here and explain why I chose each of them. I'm not including every single song because of the audio limit but I'll explain the ones with the most thought behind them. Inspired by this post !

this is TOTALLY Mob about Tsubomi when they were kids.

Teacher thinks that I sound funny But she likes the way you sing Tonight I'll dream, while I’m in bed When silly thoughts go through my head About the bugs and alphabet And when I wake tomorrow, I'll bet That you and I will walk together again

Especially with the mention of them walking to school together, which is what Mob daydreams about. Altogether his crush on her is very childlike and innocent since he's loved her since they were kids, and I think this song reflects that.

Lyrics: 10 Vibes: 10

This one is why I decided to make a Mob Psycho playlist in the first place. It just brings back all my feelings from getting to the end of the show.

Oh, I'll settle down with some old story About a boy who's just like me Thought there was love in everything and everyone You're so naive! They always reach a sorry ending They always get it in the end Still it was worth it as I turned the pages solemnly and then

With a winning smile, the boy With naivety succeeds At the final moment, I cried I always cry at endings

Sorry that's such a long quote but it's so Mob I can't even. Reigen makes fun of him for being naiive but with his naiveté he succeeds!

I think it also works really well with Emi, since it talks about stories so much. She compares herself to Mob at once point too, which fits the "about a boy who's just like me" line.

Said the hero in the story "It is mightier than swords I could kill you, sure But I could only make you cry with these words

It's so him guys. His power is mightier than swords but it's his simple, honest words that usually win his battles.

Lyrics match: 8 Vibes match: 8

This song reminds me of Mob and Ritsu as kids.

And you know that I'm gonna be the one Who'll be there When you need someone to depend upon When tomorrow comes...

They're just,, always there for each other 🥹 they care about each other so much...

Also gonna share my favourite part:

Every star was shining brightly Just like a million years before And we were feeling very small Underneath the universe

It just gives me such a clear picture of them as small kids okay I just love their relationship so much aaaaa

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 10

This is a brutal one to put right after the previous one, but it reminds me of Mob post-trauma.

There is no pain, you are receding A distant ship, smoke on the horizon You are only coming through in waves Your lips move, but I can't hear what you're saying When I was a child, I had a fever My hands felt just like two balloons Now I've got that feeling once again I can't explain, you would not understand This is not how I am

I have become comfortably numb

Because he starts shutting himself away and numbing himself so his emotions don't get the better of him.

Lyrics match: 6 Vibes match: 8

This also reminds me of Mob and Ritsu, but also post-trauma.

Love, love will tear us apart, again

Mob grows distant out of a fear of hurting Ritsu, and Ritsu becomes slightly afraid of Mob. Love really did tear them apart 😭

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 9

This one represents Mob when he's beginning to lose it.

I look inside myself and see my heart is black

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 6

I wasn't able to include it but I also have "Where is My Mind" by The Pixies for similar reasons.

This one gives me Reigen vibes.

You know "My celibate days are over" You put me straight on the finer points of my speech rehearsed In the mirror of my steamy bathroom Where the lino tells a sorry story in a monologue, in a monologue

I think this song is mostly about the singer himself, but the lyrics are just so specific and evocative that it gives me the mental image of Reigen in that one outro in season one you know.

The chorus reminds me of him too:

Six months on, the winter's gone The disenchanted pony Left the town with the circus boy The circus boy got lonely It's summer and it's sister song's Been written for the lonely The circus boy is feeling melancholy

Lyrics match: 6 Vibes match: 9

THIS IS SO MOB WHEN HE LOSES IT I CAN'T EXPRESS THIS ENOUGH

I'm not the killing type, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, but I would kill to make you feel! I don't mean kill someone for real! I couldn't do that, it is wrong! but I can say it in a song, a song, and I'm saying it NOW!

Like PLEASE it's so fitting, especially for when he fights Shou's dad.

Also this verse:

I once stepped on a dying bird It was a mercy killing I couldn't sleep for a week I kept feeling its breaking bones

It's. It's so him.

Lyrics match: 10 Vibes match: 8

this whole song just reminds me of Reigen. I'm so annoyed that the little excerpt that Tumblr plays is never The Right Bit but --

...and for once in you're life, you've got nothing to say, and could this be the time, when somebody will come, to say "look at yourself, you're not much use to anyone"?

I just think it fits well as someone who's very confident on the surface but deep down feels a bit pathetic and doesn't know what he's doing.

(that's like my favourite song ever btw, it's so bouncy)

Lyrics match: 9 Vibes match: 8

This one just fits with the lower-stakes parts of the show to me.

Do something pretty while you can, don't be a fool, skating a pirouette on ice is cool

I don't know man, there's just something about it.

Lyrics match: 7 Vibes match: 10

I've skipped some songs out of this because of the audio limit but here's the full playlist if anyone wants to listen to it :D I think I explained all the important ones, the others are probably there for vibes.

Oh yeah and I added "Satellite of Love" onto the end because it reminded me of the aliens lmao... I might take it off though because "We Rule the School" feels like such a good one to finish on and idk where I would put Satellite of Love to get the flow right

[astroyongie]

Hi yongie, I really hope you are doing better mentally ❤️

In the time you've been gone I've really missed your posts and ended up going back to read them and found a bunch of asks I'd sent you but never seen the answer to 😭 I guess I couldn't keep up with your updates which is amazing because that I read your Tumblr the same as if I were reading a newspaper lol. Anyway, in one of these you asked me for Jungkook's chart and I ended up not sending it.

-

•I really wanted to know if with his birth time right, he would still be this type that flirts a lot and if he would still cheat if he felt bored??

• Is the description of red flags and how he would be dating based only on the chart or on a little bit of what you know about him in the tarot too? I had this doubt because you and other astrologers here on Tumblr always say that Leo is a sign that is more difficult to cheat on because it is fixed. He also has scorpio and virgo in his chart, usually these signs are not very known for cheating.

• His Venus in Libra is one degrees of Cancer, would that make him more stable and sentimental in a relationship or would he just be more needy and would he cheat more easily for those who paid more attention to him?

•The sun and mercury are also in degrees of scorpio (besides his Mars is also in scorpio), does that count for anything?

• not to mention the houses too

LMAO I've said too much, I'll stop. I'm sorry for asking so many questions, I'm not doubting what you said about JK, I'm just really curious☠️☠️ I'm trying to figure out what makes this doberman an international playboy based on astrology 🩷

Hey love! i will try to answer your questions by actually analyzing Jungkook's chart completely !

Jungkook Birth Chart Analysis :

Moon Leo 1st house: He is unable to hide his true self and his emotions. Jungkook is someone that is very vocal about who he is, and doesn't like to hide what he has inside of him. So he can often come out as someone rude and full of himself, as he is someone that has high self-esteem and knows his worth. He is an exteriorized person, meaning that when he feels happy he shows it with laughter, when he is sad he shows it through crying and quietness and when he is angry he shows it through violence and recklessness. To finish, he also has a big heart, he is funny and naturally charming

Sun Virgo 2nd house: He is a money person, his whole identity and persona is based on how much he has and how much he can show to others. In other words, Jungkook is a hard worker since his image is something very important to him and he wouldn't be able to deal with the fact that he hasn't enough. He has a materialistic personality, but he is also an analyzer and very down to earth.

Mercury Virgo 2nd house: this is also tangled with his personality to say at best, Jungkook, like I said, is someone very materialistic, and he sees people, work,s and his life as such. He can sometimes be very picky with how he talks and has relationships. He wouldn't want to get mentally involved with someone "lower" than him. He has a mind for the business and he is quite smart as well. He plays dumb to get what he wants, but inside his brain, he has a whole plan.

Venus Libra 3rd house: Don't get fooled, this placement makes Jungkook an expert with words. He is able to seduce people through his voice, through the way he expresses himself. Usually, it's very easy for him to make people fall in love and to make a play out of others. Although he is a 50/50 when it comes to being a player in his life, Jungkook can easily get dependent on people that stimulate him mentally. He is able to make you believe whatever he wants.

Mars Scorpio 4th: He is extremely possessive of what is his. He is especially very attracted and protective of people he considered as his family and he would hurt anyone who tries to hurt his loved ones. Jungkook is an emotional actor, and his Moon in 1st House really makes him driven through emotions. He has a hard time controlling his feeling and always acts based on them. He has no chill whatsoever. Also when it comes to sexuality, he is a possessive lover, with kinks that are usually very rough, and harsh and can include pregnancy kinks.

Pluto Sagittarius 5th: He was made to be on stage, Jungkook has an incredible artistic side of himself due to his versatile way of being. He has enough resources to become however he wants, has a huge adaptation capacity and his sociable side also makes him very lucky in love and friendships. Other than that Jungkook is always innovating and changing who he is, adapting himself to the public eye (although this is also valable to his private life)

Neptune Capricorn 6th: Usually Neptune and the 6th house are a blessing and a curse at the same time. His mental health and his physical health are connected, so basically when he isn't in good mental condition, it will show in his physical health and vice versa. Jungkook as a bad habit of trying to control his condition, his life, and his routines but when Neptune is retrograde, he can easily get stuck in unhealthy pattern habits.

Uranus Aquarius 6th: This comes tangled with the Neptune placement because once more it talks about the way he tries to control his daily routines, however, he is always changing and getting new things to do. He just needs to have the perception that he is under control of his life. Also Jungkook doesn't really like routines, so he enjoys innovating and changing his life every now and then, as long as he is the one moving the cords

Jupiter Aquarius 7th: He is extremely lucky in love, he is able to attract people very easily, people fall under his charms like flies and he doesn't need to do much to get them hooked. However Jungkook also is someone that doesn't like to be trapped in relationships, so he gets easily bored of them and he prefers to have several experiences and enjoy his life. He loves love, sex, and relationships in general, he just doesn't like the responsibility that it impacts.

Empty Pisces 8th: This boy might sometimes use sex when he is in deep emotional turmoil. He gets easily upset when things don't go his way. Again this is more dealing with his controlling side. He can get easily desperate and In a bad state when things don't go according to the plan.

Saturn Aries 9th: He has a feverous belief, whether it's on god or any religion, he does believe that there's someone out there. Jungkook also has a very strong manifestation power, he is able tot make his dreams come true, also the Aries energy makes it even more strong when the emotions driven are anger and energy. He really is smart and has the potential to become someone who leads others

Empty Taurus 10th: Once more this placement shows how much money is important to him, how materialistic he is, and also how careless he is with managing his money. He doesn't invest, since he is too attached to loving luxury things, he spends a lot of money just for the public eye to recognize him.

Empty Gemini 11th: To be honest this placement shows two things. First that Jungkook isn't the type to be a very good friend, due to his multiple facets and secondly also he always ends up in friendships with people that are fake with him and usually around him for his positions. It's always relationships of interest

Empty Cancer 12th: He can get depressed and overly emotional easily, he doesn't deal well with stress, sadness and negative feelings in general. He can easily get emotionally overwhelmed by things which can create a whole "mea culpa" from his side.

[life-winners-liveblog]

Went through my playlist of feels and chose the best songs I felt sorta fit the situation. Found some bangers I had forgotten

Here’s my list of suggestions:

Antidote, figure it out- Faith Marie

Agoraphobic- Corpse Husband

Would Anyone Care- Citizen Soldier

villain- mj apanay

Pain Is My Best Friend- Narrows North

Are You Satisfied?- Marina and The Diamonds (Thought this was funny cause of the previous mention)

High Low- The Unlikely Candidates

worthless- eli. (This one’s a personal favorite)

And here’s one to represent the people who care and are trying to help:

What The Hell Happened?- Ked

{Sorry for the long list I just really like sharing music}

-Wisp

LL!Martyn: That's a lot of songs.

LimL!Jimmy: We can put them in a playlist and have them in the background while we clean? Maybe?

LL!Martyn: I guess I don't hate that idea.

LimL!Jimmy: Great!

(Honestly? I knew only one of these before this)

~~Antidote~~

LimL!Jimmy: Oh this one is nice.

LL!Martyn: Not quite the same situation as me.

LimL!Jimmy: Yeah, because everyone knows that you need help.

LL!Martyn: ... I don't mind the song though.

~~Agoraphobic~~

LimL!Jimmy: Oh my gosh whats his voice?!? I ...didn't expect that.

LL!Martyn: Definitely didn't expect the depressing lyrics and the lo-fi beats to study to would mesh so well.

LimL!Jimmy: Oh yeah sure...but the voice!

LL!Martyn: We get it, It's deep. What? Do you...find it hot?

LimL!Jimmy: ... No! I mean not to say It's ugly because It's not but it's not why I-wait...you are messing with me aren't you?

LL!Martyn: Lmao.

~~Would anyone care~~

LimL!Jimmy: Well this is just depressing after depressing.

LL!Martyn: You good Tim? ...wow that was weird... it's usually you asking me.

LimL!Jimmy: Oh It's... nothing...just some unwanted toughts from Limited Life coming back...

~~villain~~

LL!Martyn: Ouch that hit surprisingly close.

LimL!Jimmy: yeah...same...

LL!Martyn: Guess we do have some things in common...even if for different reasons. (Paranoid delusions vs self-worth issues).

~~Pain is my best friend~~

LL!Martyn: ...well I am starting to think these are targeted... Should have expected that.

LimL!Jimmy: Well yeah, the whole reason we are listening to these is to help you... that's kinda the point.

~~Are you satisfied ~~

LimL!Jimmy: Oh I know this one! Joel is a big Marina and the diamonds fan...and so is Scott...but mostly Joel.

LL!Martyn: Huh? News to me. Scott I understand...but Joel? Really?

LimL!Jimmy: Oh yeah.

~~High Low~~

LL!Martyn: Huh... I feel like I am more just constantly low.

LimL!Jimmy: I don't thinks thats better????

~~worthless~~

LimL!Jimmy: Oh again, bad toughts go away.

LL!Martyn: What...are you doing?

LimL!Jimmy: Pushing the bad toughts away again.

LL!Martyn: I might be insane but I am pretty sure that doesn't work.

LimL!Jimmy: Well this one hit deep...

LL!Martyn: Oh yeah I agree, this one is like...really good.

LimL!Jimmy: I don't see the appeal of music that makes you feel worse... (Prefers happy music when feeling bad)

LL!Martyn: It's cathartic to hear your feelings be sung. (Prefers sad music when feeling bad)

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing Styx for the 3rth time (plus John Waite and Foreigner for the 1st times)

I drove 2.5 hours to Holmdel, New Jersey for this show bc Styx hates Pennsylvania this year ig and this is the highest amount of money i have ever paid for a concert ticket and it was FUCKING. WORTH EVERY PENNY.

I need to listen to more of The Babys

JOHN SOUNDS SO GOOD WHAT IN THE FUCKKKK

I'm seeing him again in October and I can't wait now

the official L*ve N*tion press portal said that Styx was the headliner for this show and they FUCKING LIED

After John went offstage they UNVEILED LARRY'S PIANO AND I GENUINELY WASNT EXPECTING THEM TO BE NEXT SO I SCREAMED SFNGOESIRNGER IT WAS A LARRY JUMPSCARE

I should also mention there IS NO PIT at this place and the stage is LOW to the ground like 4-5 feet off the ground and the stage is SMALL too ?????? So i was like AAAAAAAAAA??? I'M GONNA BE SO CLOSE TO THEM (I was 3rd row) like I was literally 10 feet from the stage maybe a little less even

I did text Larry earlier in the day, saying like "see you tonight! I'll be the one in the Gowan shirt!" like I did last year in Allentown, but I checked really close to them coming on and he hadn't seen it

HOWEVER

WHEN THEY CAME OUT ONSTAGE

LARRY CAME RIGHT TO THE FOOT OF THE STAGE

AND POINTED AT ME

and just seemed to genuinely happy to see me and was motioning at me and nodding like he FUCKING REMEMBERED ME, GUYS

immediately after that I got Terry's attention and pointed at my shirt and his face went from joy to surprise and he mouthed "oh, wow !"

sometime before the first song was over, Tommy was standing behind JY and we made eye contact and he gave me a :O ! face he's so precious

tommy's so fucking beautiful i got to see him up close for the first time and gawwwwdddddddd pleaseeee i could see every fucking curl and detail of his face and his tattoo and hhhghghghrhhghhhhh i wanted to cry he's just so breathtaking

he's also sO TINY LIKE I KNOW WE SAY IT ALL THE TIME BUT SEEING HIM UP CLOSE I WAS LIKE HOLY FUCK HE'S SKIN AND BONES AND COMPACT AND TONED AND PETITE AS ALL HELL ANYWAY-

Too Much Time On My Hands- Tommy does his "is it any wonder I'm not a criminal?" then points at Larry and goes "A CRIMINAL MIND!!!!!!!!!!" and i guarantee you i'm the only one in the crowd who knew what he meant so he acted all bashful like "who, me?" and then POINTED AT ME AND HELD IT AND WAS BOPPIN WHILE POINTING RIGHT AT ME BC OF THE THE GOWAN MENTION

When Larry went into Lady, Terry fucking pointed at me and mouthed "LADAYYY" he wants me so fucking bad you guys

Larry did not sing Lady to me this time but Terry did so that's an even bigger win

during Lady when Larry does his "take me gently into your arms" and hugs JY, when Larry was coming over to him to do that, JY kept scooching away and i fucking died nfgonsfoginsg but JY leaned into the hug they're so cute i love these old men

god seeing JY up close was ethereal as well he's just such a softie

I don't remember what point he did this but JY also made eye contact with me and gave me the same :O !! face tommy gave me pls i love him sm I'm so elated I got his attention

Larry didn't play Khedive and I'm SO SALTY ABOUT IT GUH WHEN DID THEY DECIDE TO CUT THAT

Tommy and JY doing their twiddly fingers at the end of the one song

saw the Tommy tiddies with my own two eyes and at one point he realized he was showing too much of his chest and tugged at his shirt so there wasn't that big of a gap whehehehh

Chuck wasn't there :(

AND THEY CUT LOST AT SEA TOO GUH

WHY COULDN'T THEY HAVE BEEN HEADLINING LIKE L*VE N*TION SAID THEY WERE

anyway anyway it just felt so intimate this time and i had a blast and they're so funny and i would die for them

when Larry introduced the band he did Tommy first and said "this man right here gave you some of the best songs of the 20th century :')" and Tommy just looked at the crowd and mouthed "sorry" and i can't stop laughing at that fgndsofignregnae

just random moments of Larry pointing at me and dancing at each other

god hearing The Best Of Times live for the first time ever was ethereal as well they had tommy doin his little distorted "with you toniiiiight, with you toniiiiiiight" and seeing his solo from that it was just ughhhhh i'm so glad i got to see it

tommy also moved around a LOT more than he did last august thank god I got to be 10 feet away from him

Larry's crazy eyes during Mr. Roboto PLEEEEEASE

went nuts when he stood up on the piano IT'S HIS THAAAAANG

I'm still so salty they weren't headlining but i can say this was absolutely my favorite styx show I've been to

I did hold up my print of Tommy's portrait at the end again and Larry definitely saw me and bid me farewell pretty much when I blew him a kiss but Tommy didn't see the print tho he was SO CLOSE TO MEEEEEEE GRAHHHHH

Tommy being like "a lot of people in the crowd look our age and that's so nice to see you guys still comin out and supporting us"

THEY'RE ALL JUMPIN TOMMY'S KICKIN HIS LEGGY AND JY DID A JUMP AND LARRY AND TOMMY SHUFFLIN AND AAAAAAAA

anyway after Styx i chugged a boozy slushie and water and scarfed down a pretzel in the grass and then it was time for Foreigner

I went down after their first 2 songs and in the middle of their 3rd song (Dirty White Boy) I opened up my phone and saw Larry had texted me 3 minutes prior

I saw the notification and I literally started screaming at the top of my lungs and jumping up and down because HE GOT OFFSTAGE LIKE 40 MINUTES AGO AND HE'S TEXTING ME ALREADY ????????

he said "it was so nice to see you (and that shirt) right from the start of the show!" and when I tell you I started crying I was SOBBING bc the last thing he said to me in Ottawa before we parted ways was "we'll see you somewhere on the road!"

He makes me feel so special and I felt like I was back in Ottawa that night again because I just felt so elated and appreciated by one of my favorite people ever like here i was 3rd row at a foreigner concert sobbing to myself because I was getting texts from the frontman for Styx not long after their set

Larry knows who I am it's official and I love him so much you guys

Anyway after that I was getting super into Foreigner and Kelly is a slut

he literally let a lady spank him from the crowd like he WANTED HER TO IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA he bent over and patted his butt, urging her to smack him and she did a few times and fucking died fgbndfkjgnsfogs

he also put his ass right over where fog was coming out of the floor so it looked like it was shooting into his ass like Kelly stoppppp

I also love Bruce i never knew who he was until last night but he's my fav

I KNEW KELLY WENT ON A PLATFORM FOR JUKEBOX HERO BUT I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD ??????? that was a religious experience

so was I Want To Know What Love Is, and they had a high school choir singing with them

it was impossible to find the busses afterwards bc the way this place was set up had the busses on a dead end street behind the venue that was blocked off with No Trespassing signs and a security guard so- and it was impossible to get around the OTHER side bc it was just a hill

anyway Larry even texted me again before I got back to the parking lot and I screamed again but he just shared my story and sent me his memoji as always lol (plus he liked my message where I told him to say hi to Terry for me)

I need them again already