#SORRY FOR WRITING AN ESSAY FOR EVERY QUESTION ARE YOU MAD AT ME <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[oc-cinematic-universe]

🍅🧈🥐🍆 Can be for the same OC or different ones for each question !!

YIPPEEEEEEE

🍅 - How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL.

I HAVE. SEVERAL CHARACTERS I CAN TALK ABOUT HERE SO I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT ALL OF THEM ACTUALLY. The first one that comes to mind is Amedeo, in universe nobody fucking understands him in several ways. He's really bad at communicating and doesn't understand how it works so people quite literally misunderstand him all the time. They also assume he has ill intent All The Time even when he's doing something perfectly normal and fine. Which sure is not often, but it's kind of unfair. AS FOR IRL. MOST people understand him, thank god. But there's some people... who really don't get it I think. There was one person who related super hard to him when he's at his worst but didn't really want to acknowledge him when he gets better?? He's not an angst machine thanks. And then there's also been at least 2 people who think he did nothing wrong like . NO HE. KINDA FUCKED UP A LOT ACTUALLY. HE'S NOT INNOCENT. It's hilarious, none of you can decide what you want him to be huh. He is fucked up and awful and he realizes that and tries so hard to get better he can be both good and bad at the same time just like every other person on planet earth

The other main one is Dara! Every misunderstanding of her in universe is her own god damn fault and she deserves it <3 IRL she is probably my 3rd most controversial character after Rowena and Amedeo (HILARIOUS THAT I CAN SAY THAT BTW), and I think that is also her own fault. And my own but I'm doing it intentionally so it's fine. The viewers are seeing the worst side of her in comic right now, the part of her that lies and runs from everything and cares more about herself than those around her. That's not really what she's actually like tho! She's just scared! She's scared and she's making bad choices because of it! She is digging her own grave because that's all she can see! She's actually really sweet a lot of the time, now's just a really bad time for her! She's not an awful person :( The big horrible thing she did was 70 years ago she's had so much time to change, and she has.

And finally Rowena, who gets a special mention for actually causing literal fights in my old discord server because most people either think she's the worst person on the planet or that she has never done anything wrong in her life. The thing is, they're both right, hope this helps <3

...that alone got long so the rest is going under the cut

🧈 - How soft is your OC? In what sense are they soft?

Raid,,,,,, Raid is so lovely,,,,, Raid is the softest motherfucker on the planet. You literally cannot get more soft than them. You will never be as soft as them. Nobody else can claim to spend an eternity in a time loop and being content with it because with every run you get the chance to learn how to make your friends happier. To meet your friends for the first time over and over. Raid is player 3 of the game In a Manor of Speaking, and player 1 and 2's resets usually drags them away from whatever they were doing, Raid has never really reset the game themself. So they're trapped in a time loop way more than the other 2 are! And they're also the most normal about it. Raid is happy to live like this because they've gotten so fucking good at making their friends as happy as possible, and yeah it's always a little sad when an unexpected reset makes their friends forget them again, but how delightful is it to get to spend an eternity with them? To find new ways to make them smile? Raid functions on pure love and they are so so so soft. They're so fucking oguggughgoughgoughogo i love them so much

🥐 - Where is your OC from? How do they feel about their homeland? Where are they now?

This one's hard cause I'm so bad at worldbuilding and characters that travel. I have lived in the same area all my life and rarely leave my house so this by extension is how all my OCs work too ASIULDHASLID So! For lack of Anyone Else I can use for this! Reverie has such a complicated relationship with where they're from <3 They're player 2 so, they're pretty sure their homeland is our universe. They don't remember it, but they're so sure. Where else would they have come from? They want to go back so much it hurts. There's an aching and a homesickness they can't cure. They miss a life they never had. They miss a world they never knew. Being a video game protagonist sucks. As for inside the game, Reverie is from the human realm but spends a lot of their lifetimes in the monster realm! The backstory written into them is that they started in the human realm a couple decades ago and Vidette took them back to the monster realm, and they only now are coming back to the human realm. Reverie feels nothing for either of these places!!! That's what they say, at least. Reverie is actually very fond of the monster realm. It's where most of their memories are and all the nice times they had with Vidette and Viorel. The human realm has brought them nothing but pain in every run of the game.

🍆 - How are they used by others? How easily are they tricked into this?

Hehehehehe I've been wanting to talk about this with Joe for so long oh my god, so Joe is. Interesting! In the eyes of the antagonists, he is nothing but a target. His pain is a tool to hurt someone else. They're not even really using Him, just the fact that people love him. Just one more domino in a series of events. They do also try to use him tho! He seems pretty easy to manipulate, he's just a soft guy that loves everyone! Fools. He is so fucking smart and observant and he is playing his part on purpose. Of course he notices what they're doing to him. He takes his time deciding what to do about it, and spends that time acting like they've got him right where they want him.

Chapter 9 is really fascinating to me because half of it is Rowena and Joe playing mind games with each other. They both know what's going on. It's just about who can keep the game up longer.

[smoosnoom]

moon moon moon moon moon moon moon moon i dont think u understand i have butterflies rn i am so warm and happy and smiley and and snd amd and this is easily one of my favorite fics of yours i absolutely adore summer so so very much and . ohggg you wrote them so lovely and i literally can't stop smiling oh !!!! thank you for this fic and even including some things i mentioned i mean i bet a lot of people mentioned those tropes but aaa i am happy anyhow <3

also here r some of my fav quotes because . because this is my favorite thing in the universe

- “Are you okay?” 

Christ. Can’t a man fantasize about his best friend in peace?

THIS OS SO FUNYNYNYNY im obsessed w how u write mike i love him

- It’d be more terrifying than beautiful if Will weren’t here. 

maybe i will scream . i will becaud eohmmy9fods

- Will moves, again, their hands bumping, and it feels like they’re holding the sun in the space between.

THIS MAD EME . PAUSE AND JUST . OGGGHGGGGHGHG . i can only smile and keyboard smash moon i am so sorry 🙏😭

- “Everything, I guess,” he answers, because it’s true. Will is, kind of, everything, 

- “Me?” He questions, eyes wide, as if there could possibly be anyone else, as if Mike has ever even – looked at anyone else,

- and fingers sliding into Mike’s hair, and it’s everything, and Mike was right, he’s never doubting himself again, because Will is everything. 

I WIQLCOJWJ JSCKSJHD . i apologize but these part smake me sosoos !!*!&!<!!! i cant even explain . i am so in love w this fic moon i cnantng. okay .

also jsut . the ending. mike thinking of missing him and will going hey im right here OHGGGGG !!!!!!!! moon you are brilliant and so lovely and . this fic made me so incredibly happy i can't do this . today felt rlly like the first day of summer and this fic made me feel a million times warmer and than kyou thank you ohhggggg this fic is absolutely everything yo me i am so warm and giddy rn !!!!!!! ur fics especially make me love will so much more if that's even possible bc he is one of my favorite characters in any media ecer and getting to read him written by u . well it might be an honor . it definitely is . it makes me so happy i cant even describe it . so thank you thank you<3 i hope u have a good night moon and i hope your essay goes okay <3 remember to rest and take care of urself !!!!!!!!!<3<3<3

donnie byersverse hello !!!!!!!!!! every day is a good day to see u in my inbox !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ohh im so happy u liked it oh my god ! i tried my absolute Best to make this fic something more like . fun and carefree or just something to cheer people up and im so glad it made u smile !!!! if i wasnt on a laptop id be spamming party hat emojis rn and yes !!!! i tried to include the things u specifically mentioned since u are always so kind to me in ur asks :D i thought uknow ! the least i could do !

LOL i love writing mike to be a little unhinged when hes in love with will <3 it just seems right

the keyboard smashing is so so real . expressing emotions no words can get across Thank u so much

NOO dont ever apologize i love seeing the parts u like the most !!!! especially then i can seee what i should do more often and what hits the hardest :D i am so happy u liked it so much omg

i am so honored to contribute to ur lovely summer day !! summer is such a fun season to write about and in, and im glad i got the very specific feeling of it across ! also ??? "ur fics especially make me love will so much more" finn what if i literally cry and di e and Explode into a million teeny tiny pieces . what then .

u are so entirely kind to me !!! im so happy u enjoyed reading it and that i did ur ideas justice :) and i love reading ur thoughts !! thank u so much !!!!!!!!

[migilini]

Hiiii! I liked how you did the road trip one shot and was wondering if you could do a request for Charlie Gillespie where the reader and Charlie are dating but have been living in different states due to COVID and the boys do an Instagram live and the reader wants to be on the live with them and Charlie gets so excited and it’s fluffy?

So far apart - Charlie Gillespie

A/N: ofc i can! Thank you so much, hope you like it :) I will proofe read it tomorrow.

Words: 1.5k

Masterlist

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Tiredness was your new default state. College alone was stressful and hard enough plus it didn't help that you had to do it online from your little NY appartement that you shared with three other roommates. But you had too. You were in your last semester ever! That was motivation enough to pull through.

Currently you were trying to facetime your boyfriend Charlie. You haven't seen him in about four months but if someone would ask your roommates, they would say it felt like an eternity of you moaning and pouting about not seeing him. When COVID started, the two of you seriously debated about moving in together. However, at that time, your classes were not online yet and you couldn't move away, he also couldn't move to New York with you because he still had meetings with the JATP Cast.

You stared at your ringing phone, desperate to hear his voice. You knew that he should be awake, you had the time zones imprinted on your brain.

Sorry babe, have a meeting in 5… Will call you after okay? <3 the message that just popped up on your screen made you frown a little. You weren't mad, you just had a really awful week and missed him like crazy.

Sure thing <3 yout texted back and threw the phone onto your bed. Deciding that instead of waiting for him to call back, you could use the time usefully and start studying for your next test in two days. 

It was an hour later, you were completely engrossed in the textbook, so you barely heard the ringing of your phone. Maybe a bit too quick, you tossed all your books to the ground and launched yourself on the bed to find your phone. 

His pretty face filled your screen “Heyyy!” “Hello beautiful!” You two grinned at each other.

“How are--” A knocking on your door interrupted your question. “Yes?” The door opened and revealed one of your roommates Alexis with a sheepish look on her face “I’m really sorry to interrupt but Tara just broke off with her boyfriend and she needs a hug.”

You looked up at your red haired friend “She broke up with Tom?!” Alexis nodded “It's an emergency” she claimed. Charlie understood this as his clue to end the call saying a quick goodbye and a don't worry about it, when you shot him an apologetic look. 

This is how it went nearly every time. Something always came up, either you were studying non-stop and he didn't want to distract you or he had actor things and meetings going on. It was truly tiring. The last time you really had the opportunity to facetime was a couple weeks ago and even then you fell asleep inert 15minutes. When Charlie accidentally lulled you to sleep with a song he's been working on. 

Still the two of you made it work. Charlie had started writing you weekly letters with his perfume on it. And you being your crafty self, sent him a little care package with letters, some self made food and paintings, every now and then.

You just finished all your tests and essays for this semester and you felt free again. Taking a deep breath, you opened your bedroom window and put your school books away. Sinking down on your bed, you closed your eyes temporarily, enjoying the moment. You got up again to get yourself something to eat and a coffee. Your roommates were currently away, probably getting groceries or books at the College Library.

You mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, the sandwich you made yourself still laying next to you on the nightstand. Ever since Julie and the Phantoms released, the cast's accounts blew up like crazy and Charlie always showed you off like a queen so of course people found your page as well. You didn't mind though. Most of the people were really nice and respecting, protecting your relationship from all the not so nice guys

You just answered some DM’s, chuckling at a meme that Maddie had sent you, when you got a notification that Owen was live. Naturally you clicked on it, knowing that Charlie most likely will be in the live as well, due to the fact that he was currently at Owen’s with Jeremy.

You were one of the first ones. Owen grinned when he saw your name come up in the chat. 

“Guten Morgen everybody.” You chuckled when you heard your boyfriend singing in the background, writing in the chat that Owen should say hi to Charlie. “Are all of you streaming JATP?” he asked the live audience while you nodded to yourself, your laptop open beside you. It was a bit embarrassing to admit how often you saw the show, but every time you felt lonely you watched it. It had some really cute guys in it after all.

He read the chat “Do you like watching the show you participated in? Thats a good question. Charlie, Charlie! I have a question for you.” The camera turned and it showed the canadian boy you fell in love with. 

“Eh…” he said as he walked into the kitchen, Owen following close. “It was very weird at first. Guess I'm more used to it now.” he answered honestly. You weren't even listening, you just stared at your phone in trance, the light making him look so incredibly pretty.

Suddenly you got an invitation to join the live from Owen. You sat up a bit straighter and blinked a few times before accepting. 

“Helloooooo!” he screamed, making you laugh. “Hi Owen. Yall are up early.”

“Yeah… you know Char. That dumb early riser.” he complained. “Yeah I feel you. Though he lets me sleep so he must love me more than he loves you.” you teased making Owen pout in a childish way.

“Charlie! Who do you love more, me or y/n?” the statement made your boyfriend laugh and for a moment your breath hitched, it was music in your ears and once again you realised how much you missed it.

“I’m really sorry bud, but definitely y/n…I want to...” Charlie just wanted to explain why when he heard your chuckling from Owen’s phone. “See told ya.” It was truly a blessing that the camera was still turned to your boyfriend, making it easy for you to see his reaction. He nearly let the fork he was holding fall out of his hand, his eyes widening while his mouth grew into a big grin. “Is that y/n?” he asked cautiously. Apparently Owen nodded, because before you knew, the camera turned and you were face to face with your boyfriend. 

“Baby!” he screamed, a wide, toothy smile on his lips. “How dare you go on live with Owen but not with me!” he jokes. “How was the history test? As hard as you thought it would be?” you cut off his rambling “Hi! Nice to see you too. No, it was way harder than I expected. Let's hope for the best, I get the results sometime next week”

“I bet you killed that test baby! No, Owen you don't get the phone back… I don't care that it's your live.” The chat was freaking out over Charlie's happiness by just seeing you, talking about how they want love like that.

“Little explanation for everybody. Me and Charlie haven't really been able to facetime so were just really excited right now. Sorry if it's boring.” you explained to the chat. 

“Don’t ever say that ever again.” he said in a serious tone “it's not boring.” you held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry sorry. Can I talk to Owen again? I mean he is the one who invited me.” you teased, poking your tongue out. With a pout he gave the phone back to Owen.

“Are you also streaming the show today?” he asked you. Charlie was in the background, looking at you over Owens shoulder, making silly faces. “Of course! Who do you think I am? I’ve been watching it everyday since it came out.” Owens' face fell “You're kidding… that doesn't… that doesn't seem healthy.” you shrugged “Well i don't really care. I have this massive crush on someone from the show, just can't get enough of him.” 

The camera shook and a couple crunts later you were once again faced with Charlie. “I sure hope it's me or you're not allowed to wear that shirt anymore.” he pointed to the shirt you were currently wearing and that was in fact one of his.

“Not gonna tell you babe. My mouth is shut.” you winked, making him blush. “I miss you.” he blurted out with puppy eyes. “I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you.” he grinned at that excited for the surprise he had planned. 

“I think i'm gonna go, let you guys actually comment on the show. I love you Charlie.” You sent him a kiss and he pretended to catch it with his free hand.

“Eww that's so cheesy.” Owen muttered from somewhere in the back.

“I love you too.”

[justkending]

Noisy Neighbors, Drabble Series. (2/2)

Summary: Bucky Barnes is that loud neighbor you want to scream your head off at for throwing all kinds of parties what feels like year round. But in doing so, you somehow got a free coffee date out of it...

Pairing: (college neighbor) Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3000+

A/N: I had a sweet follower @blessedwedgie​ ask me if I can write a continuation of this drabble I did a while back and at first I was like, “What do I do? Where would I want that to go? How would I continue that in a way that would be cute?” Then I was at work being bored as hell, but had a pen and paper and well... Here we are! I hope I did it justice friend:) This was really fun to write and I want all the cuteness that is College Bucky Barnes in my life honestly!

Here is part one if you haven’t read it yet. 

Noisy Neighbors Part 2:

The only reason you really agreed to coffee with the handsome neighbor was because your morning class had been canceled and you didn’t have another until later that afternoon. Of course there was the free coffee too… Ok, maybe his stupid handsome face had something to do with you leaning to say yes. 

He was persistent.

So at 9:55 the next morning, you threw on a pair of real pants and a jean jacket over your sweater and ran a hand through your hair as you grabbed your keys by the front door. 

“I’ll be back later Wands!” you shouted back down the hallway. No response. She was probably sleeping after pulling an all nighter for a test today. “I’ll be bringing you back some coffee too, I guess,” you laughed to yourself as you went to open the door. 

But you were startled to open it and immediately see those familiar piercing blue eyes.

“Jesus-” you jutted as you threw your hand over your chest in surprise. 

“Sorry,” he laughed as he took in your reaction. “I literally just stepped in front of your door.”

“You sure you haven’t been waiting out here since last night?” you smirked, stepping out and locking it. 

“Now, I did say I was persistent, but I think I deserve a coffee and a little more than small talk before I decide if you’re stalking material,” he shrugged, watching as you turned back to him. 

“I like to think I’m stalking material,” you played along, getting a laugh out of him. “Though, doesn’t mean I’d actually liked to be stalked.”

“Ladies and gentleman, she’s got the jokes,” Bucky announced as you walked side by side to leave the apartment building. 

“Just to be safe, you’re not some charming Teddy Bundy 2.0, are you? Cause if that’s the case, I don’t think this is going to work out,” you joked, sending him a smile before tucking your hands in your coat about to bare the cold outside. 

“So you think I’m charming?” Bucky jeered. 

“Don’t get cocky there, Cavanosa. I’m still trying to decide if I’ll ever answer my door again if you knock,” you pointed at him as he opened the door for you. 

“I’m wounded, Y/N,” he faked hurt, but inside he was just gitty to know your name now and be able to say it. 

“Buy me that coffee, and you’ll have a better chance, soldier.”

_____________

You went to the coffee shop on campus and the little coffee date went surprisingly well. You talked about school, learning Bucky was a forensics major and hoped to go to Quantico at some point. He said he always had a gift and interest in crime scenes and murder mysteries growing up. He liked being able to solve it before the characters on shows did or the narrator gave it away. 

To which you countered with, “So you would be a certified stalker with a badge? Interesting…”

That got a big belly laugh out of him which you couldn’t seem to help but join him after hearing such a sweet sound.

You talked about how you’re going into Psychology, and actually were interested in a similar field of forensics. You had always loved the psychoanalyzing of people and situations. So naturally, you were looking into being a Forensic Psychologist. 

He asked why he hadn’t had any classes with you yet considering it was both your senior years. Then you explained to him how you had just transferred for this last semester because of better professors and a scholarship opportunity you wanted to take advantage of before graduation. 

It turned out that you both were taking one of the same classes, but just had it at different times. Same professor though. 

After the obligated ‘college talk’, you both got into; where you grew up, where you plan to go, what are your hobbies, what do you do in your free time if you weren’t studying. Which you had already known Bucky’s was throwing parties that irked you to no end. 

“Yeah, I’ll cut back on those. I’ve been getting behind in school and it’s starting to affect my grades,” he pursed his lips in embarrassment. “Dr. Cassel’s class especially. Damn man has a 3 page essay due what feels like every night!”

Dr. Cassel being the professor that you shared.

“Eh, it’s not fun, but if you get ahead a little and do the readings, it’s not that bad,” you shrugged, taking a sip of the hot cup of tea that you told him you preferred instead of coffee on days like this with the weather. 

“Easy to say for a nerd who likes to read,” he smirked taking a drink from his own cup as he looked over the brim of it at you.

“Excuse me sir, I thought you were trying to get on my good side here,” you gasped. “Calling me a nerd isn’t going to do that for you.”

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding,” he laughed. “You actually kinda remind me of Steve. He’s a bookworm like you and the goody two shoes who’s always on top of things.”

“He didn’t seem like that at the party the other night,” you tilted your head. 

“Oh, yeah. I may or may not have finally had convinced him to join in on the fun. He’s always holed up in his room studying or reading something, which I’m sure you understand,” he winked getting an eye roll from you. “But every once and a while I can get him to cross over to the dark side for a night.”

“School’s important for me. It’s taken a lot to get here and I don’t want to mess it up,” you explained. Your face going a little more serious as if there was more behind that fact than you were letting on. Bucky toned his joking down some at change. “Plus, it’s my senior year. One more semester of this and I’m home free. That is until I start job searching and that’s a whole other step,” you shook your head looking down at your drink. 

“Have you ever gone to a party during college?” Bucky asked. “You know, do the whole college experience thing?”

You looked up seeing he was genuinely curious. 

“Uh, yeah. I went to one or two with my old boyfriend at the other school I went to. They weren’t more than just a bunch of frat boys and girls getting plastered and making out in random spots around the house, while the rest were listening to loud music and standing elbow to elbow in a crowded rent house off campus.”

“Very specific scenario there,” he chuckled, lightening the mood. “I take it you and your boyfriend aren’t together anymore?” His question did not meet your eye line as he stirred the dash of creamer he had to his drink. 

“No, that would mean he would be my current boyfriend, not old,” you laughed. “That and I probably wouldn’t have said yes to coffee if I was dating someone.”

“Right, because this is a date,” he noted as he looked back at you with that cocky grin. 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you smirked back. 

“You did say it in the text. You said, ‘sounds like a date,’” he pointed out. 

“But do all coffee dates mean actual dates or just meeting up to talk over coffee?” you countered. 

“Would I get in trouble if I said I’m hoping it’s the first one?” he asked with hopeful eyes. 

You paused for a second. God, he was cute. He was charming. But… You came here for your degree and you broke up with your last boyfriend because your schedule is too hectic and you’re trying to focus strictly on school. You didn’t have time for relationships. 

“I hate to break it to you, but I’m not really a part of the dating rehealm at the moment,” you said awkwardly. Bucky’s smile dropping some. “My schedule is just too chaotic to add another person to it, and I really need to focus on school.”

You could see disappointment on his face, but he was quick to wipe it off to not cause any more tense energy in the conversation. 

“I get it. You have your priorities in check. Can’t blame you for that,” he shrugged with a soft smile. “But now that I know you’re my neighbor, and I really like your whole persona. You won’t be mad if we became friends, would you?”

You giggled at that and his smile widened. “I think I can get on board with that.” His grin grew once again. “Besides, I may need to copy your notes for class, so I guess it’d be useful to get along with you,” you exaggerated as if it was so much to do on your end. 

“If anyone’s copying notes here, it’ll be me, doll. I’m the one failing,” he said with a raised eyebrow as he took another sip of his drink, 

You two continued talking for a while with another cup of coffee was purchased. Strangely enough the annoying neighbor that you had grown to despise, had surprised you in being a pretty nice guy. It was like you two had been friends since high school with how comfortable and snarky you guys were with the other. And it didn’t hurt to look at him either…

Eventually you headed off to your afternoon class and Bucky headed home being lucky enough not to have any classes all day. He offered to walk you to the class, but with it being as cold as it was, you didn’t want to inconvenience him by walking you there and then all the way back to the apartments. It wasn’t a short walk. 

He obliged after much persuasion on your end and you went your separate ways. 

As the weeks went on, you started to see more of your neighbors. Steve sat with you in Child Psychology now knowing you a little better, and Bucky somehow always was in the hallway at the same time as you or was bumping into you at the forensics building occasionally. 

The neighbors had become friends and Wanda was just happy to not hear you complaining anymore about the two that shared your wall. That and the parties had practically ceased now. Considering what Bucky said about being behind in classes, you suspected he was trying to cut back on his social time. 

As the semester went on, Bucky made it a priority to see you at least once a day if he could. Emphasis on the at least…

If that meant knocking on your door to walk to class, he jumped at the opportunity. 

“Hey, I’m headed to the library and I know you have that 12 o’clock class in the building over. Wanna just go together?” He grinned. 

“Can’t say no to a chauffeur,” you would smile back as you grabbed a beanie and walked out with him. 

If it meant somehow almost always making more food than he and Steve could eat, just to come over and offer you some, he would take the option. 

“Hey, I made some pasta tonight and had way too much for Steve and I. I thought I would ask if you and Wanda want some before I throw it out,” he smiled widely in your doorway. “What college student in their right mind would say no to a hot meal?” he winked.

“Not a sane one,” you chuckled as you took the platter. “You sure you don’t want them for leftovers?”

“Eh, we never get around to eating them most the time. You guys will enjoy it more than us. Plus, it’s better fresh,” he waved off. 

“Ok, if you insist. I guess I’ll have to bake you some of my famous brownies as a thank you.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Y/N. I will hold you to it.”

If it meant last minute study sessions for a class he forgot, he texted you a long message begging you to help him out. 

“I know you took this class last semester, so you have to know something. And something is more than I know,” he said with a wrinkled nose once he was in your room. 

“What part of the unit are you in?” you sighed from your desk as you put your now finished work to the side for him. 

“Personality disorders common in serial murders.”

“Oh, that’s the fun stuff. Why wouldn't you want to learn about that?” you gasped, going to sit right next to him on your bed. 

But honestly, he wasn’t worried about the chapter. He had actually read it before coming over to surprise you in his knowledge when he acted like he was lost. He just liked when you sat close to him and went on a rant when you came up on something that triggered a murder documentary you watched. That’s how he hooked you into letting him stay longer. 

“Wait, so the movie was about a serial killer who ended up having multiple personality disorder? He didn’t know he was doing the killings?” he asked. 

“How have you not seen it? It’s a classic!” you questioned in surprise. 

“I don’t know… Tell me more about it,” he grinned as you went on. 

Oh, and he had seen it. It was a good movie. 

If it meant he somehow got ‘locked out of his apartment and couldn’t get in until Steve was home’, he made the excuse to sit outside your door until you were home. 

“I left my key inside by accident today. Any chance you’ll let a loner like me hang out with you for a little until blondie gets home?” he batted his eyelashes as he leaned against your door. 

“This is the second time this week, Bucky. And the fourth time since last week. Do I need to sew the damn things to you?” you laughed opening your apartment to him. 

“I’ll pass on that. I would prefer to just hang out with you instead,” he shrugged, closing the door behind him. 

“You sure you left your keys by accident?” you asked with a pointed eyebrow as you took off your jacket. 

“Cross my heart,” he said, doing the motion. 

“Yeah, sure. Wanna put a pot of coffee on while I change?” you asked, already moving to your room. He had been over enough by now from study sessions and ‘accidental lockouts’ to know how to work your machine. 

“Already on it,” he hummed walking to the kitchen. “Want me to make you a cup?”

“Dash of cream and-”

“Two sugars! I know,” he shouted back, smiling as he moved in your kitchen to grab the mugs. 

And if it meant never throwing another party again, and instead asking you to come over to his place and watch a movie instead, he moved his schedule around for you. 

“Hey, what do you say to a movie date?” he asked as you walked back from class and nudged you with his elbow. 

“A movie night sounds nice,” you responded, emphasizing on night instead of date. 

“I didn’t say night,” he would point out. 

“I know. I figured I would correct you on your slip up. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Words are hard,” you teased, nudging him back. 

Though he knew you would never fall for his little tricks, he always implemented date into a lot of his questions about you two hanging out. It had become a little game between you both. 

���Study date tonight before Cassel’s test?” He asked as you grabbed your mail together. 

“Study session? Yeah, sure,” you corrected. 

“Hey, want to come over for a dinner date? Steve and I are making homemade pizza. You and Wanda are welcome!” he offered. 

“I’d love to have a pizza party with you guys. I’ll text Wanda and see what her plans are,” you giggled, hip bumping him walking up the stairs. 

“Hey, what do you say to an impromptu date to the baseball game tonight? We’re playing against our school's top rival,” He smiled as you both grabbed your coffee from the barista. 

“Oh yeah! I heard that was tonight. Eh, how do you feel about a movie night instead?” you shrugged. 

“Movie date?” he seconded. 

“Yeah, a movie night,” you emphasized. 

Conversations like that went on all semester. You were finding that whatever time you weren’t spending in class or at work, it was next to Bucky. The two of you becoming a couple of best friends attached to the hip. 

It was nice. You enjoyed it. And though, you knew deep down that he probably meant all those things being a date and hoped for it, you were glad he didn’t press on when you changed the meaning. He understood where you stood and he wasn’t going to pressure you for anything different if you didn’t want to. 

And now, it was time for graduation. You, Steve, Wanda, Wanda’s boyfriend Vis, and Bucky all stood in your gowns taking pictures with your temporary degree in hand outside the college stadium. You had all finally finished. With a lot of all nighters, stress relief movie nights, and much needed pizza parties, you had graduated. 

You didn’t plan on getting two new really good friends out of it as your mind had always been school, school, school. No time for a social life and distractions. 

But boy were you glad you had hit a breaking point the night you banged on their door. If you hadn’t, you would have probably never created the very close relationship with the blue eyed, brown hair, crazy flirtatious, but charming neighbor. 

“Hey, since we graduated and we finished the damn thing, how do you feel about a date?” Bucky asked turning to you after Wanda snapped a picture of you both.

“I didn’t hear movie, study, or pizza in front of that word. What kinda date are we talking about?” you asked as he kept his arm wrapped around your waist from the pose you two were in. 

“I was thinking of a real date,” he smiled. 

His hand on your hip giving a gently, but firm squeeze as his eye practically suffocated you with the ocean tides in them. 

“I think I can get behind that,” you grinned up at him, squeezing his shoulder. “A real date it is, Casanova.”

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose  @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter @marvelfansworld @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan  @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @carls1022 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @carls1022 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@morganclaire4 @chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes​

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @heyiamthatbitch​ @lizzymacy555​ @iheartsebastianstan @srrymydood​ @xa-dia​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @morganclaire4​ @connie326​ @captain-asguard​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ @teenagedreams-bucky​

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || Deletes Something Important [Request]

A/N: I’m still trying to get into the swing of writing for these babies, BUT Please go and VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! And Stream (depending on when this comes out) these babies deserve the world honestly

A/N: My writing is under keep reading signs to stop from blocking up peoples dashes, sorry again to everyone it annoyed.

Chan:

Chan was supposed to be asleep beside you but he'd tried to drift off but couldn't his mind was elsewhere. You were asleep next to him and he was getting nervous about work he was supposed to have been emailing with JYP but he'd left his laptop at the JYP building and he didn't want to get into trouble but not replying at all so he took hold of yours and opened it up. It was no big deal you always let him use your laptop so he logged in and began emailing with JYP when a document popped up on the screen without giving it a second thought he clicked off it without saving and then his eyes widened as he realised what it was, across the screen were the words.

''Deleting 10K Essay For English'' He scrambled trying to get back what he'd deleted but the laptop wasn't cooperating with him and he was starting to get stressed. You stirred in your sleep turning over and facing Chan and he panicked looking down at the screen once again trying to recover the file but it wasn't working,

"Chris, what are you doing?" You grumbled realising he was still awake, normally he could sleep when he was beside you but clearly not tonight.

"I was writing an email and then I accidentally deleted your essay I'm so sorry though. I'm trying to get it back but it's not working." You rubbed your eyes and sat up in the bed taking the laptop away from him and going into the deleted system to recover what he'd deleted.

"I hadn't started it yet anyway." You said showing him that the only thing on the document was your name, date and title of the project. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders as he realised he hadn't deleted anything too important,

"Will you cuddle me now? I'm tired." You mumbled to him laying back down beside him, he shut the laptop and snuggled up behind your so his arm was dropping over your side and he dragged you closer to him.

"Goodnight baby," He whispered in your ear, you hummed and closed your eyes listening to him breathing to help you drift off back to sleep and Chan laid there listening to you snore softly while drawing invisible patterns into your skin.

Minho:

"Can I borrow your laptop?!" You heard Lee Know yell over the runner water,

"Sure!" You yelled back going back to washing yourself, you'd just gotten done with another dance video for your Youtube channel and you were looking forward to editing them all later now that filming was out and done for the next two weeks. Minho was clicking off the excessive amount of internet tabs that you had open not checking that he was now closing down the videos that you'd had ready to save without saving them and then doing what he needed to do he hadn't even noticed that he'd just deleted two weeks worth of work.

(X)

"Hey, baby?" You asked later that night when you sat down ready to edit everything you'd been recording but everything was gone,

"Yeah?" He asked looking up from his phone to look at you, you looked away from the screen with a worried look on your face,

"Did you delete anything earlier?" You questioned trying to stay as calm as you could without kicking off at him because it wasn't his fault,

"No, I just closed a bunch of internet tabs. You know it'll make your computer run slow if you keep those up all the time." You groaned laying your head down on the table in front of you trying to think of some way to recover everything he'd closed.

"What?" He questioned locking his phone and walking over to you and sitting down on the floor beside you and saw that you were tearing up,

"Jagi?" He asked but you lifted your head and wiped your face taking in a deep breath and trying to stay calm, Minho didn't know what he'd done so you couldn't get mad at him for it.

"It's nothing, I'll just see if I can find them." You mumbled looking through the deleted files but everything was gone since your computer did its own wiping system,

"What was it?" You didn't want to make him feel bad about something that he did by accident,

"You deleted my dance files, it's okay though I'll just reshoot everything." You told him shutting the laptop down and then going over to your dance room, you took one look inside and decided you would start filming tomorrow it was way too late to start filming them all now.

"I'll help you." He promised following behind you and began rubbing your shoulders kissing your cheek and promising himself he'd do anything to make up for deleting the files.

Changbin:

You'd been working on some songs with Chan for a while now and everything was starting to come into place, and you were starting to put vocals to it with the help from Chan and Seungmin who you were getting to sing for you because you weren't about that yet. Changbin hadn't known you'd been working on songs because you wanted it to be a surprise for him but it was about to be ruined because he'd just accidentally broke the USB that was containing everything you'd been working hard on for the last 2 months.

"Changbin?!" You called as you walked through the front door of your apartment, you were in a good mood since you'd just gotten a raise at work and Changbin didn't want to ruin that by showing you the broken USB so he hid it behind him and smiled at you but you knew that smile too well,

"I know that smile, that's your, 'I did something wrong but I don't know how to tell you' smile." He slowly pulled out the USB from behind him and you dropped your bag on the floor rushing over to him and look at it,

"Changbin? How?" You pulled it from his hand and took your laptop out to try and see if you could do anything,

"I was trying to use your laptop and I accidentally dropped it and the USB snapped." You groaned looking through the laptop for any signs of the broken USB being recognised but it was all gone, everything.

You called Chris after it happened to see if he had anything backed up and luckily for you, it was all backed up on a second USB stick for you sitting in his studio.

"What happened?"

"Changbin broke it by accident." You laughed looking over at Changbin who was staring at you with a guilty look on his face, you hung up on Chris and walked over to Changbin.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident." You shook your head sitting down beside him and snuggling your head onto his shoulder.

"It's fine, Chris has everything backed up for me." You whispered then telling him why you had been in such a good mood when you first walked into the apartment.

(Grr in tiny)

Hyunjin:

You were giving directions over the phone to Hyunjin, you were sitting in your office at work when you realised that you'd left your important work at home.

"Just email them over to me." You told him as you looked through the door, your boss was making his way over and if you didn't have the photographs you were most likely going to get fired for them being so late. You were already a week behind and you couldn't believe that you'd left them at home, you'd spent hours editing them to be perfect.

"The big red button?" Hyunjin asked and you assumed he meant the one that said send in your email so you told him yes, waiting patiently for the email but then you heard him yelling to himself.

"Hyunjin?" You called out looking at the phone to see if it had been disconnected but it hadn't.

"Hyunjin? What happened?" There was mumbling and shuffling on the other line and then you heard a thick Australian accent and you knew Felix was in the room now,

"Felix?!" The line went dead and you stared at the screen wondering what to do when it started calling back but with Han's number,

"Han? What's going on!?" You panicked looking over at your boss who was getting closer and closer to your office,

"He accidentally deleted them but Felix is trying to get them back." You stared out of the window wondering if you could jump out of it without breaking a leg, it was two floors high so chances of breaking a bone were high.

"Fuck. My boss is almost here." You whispered to Han who could tell how panicked you were and began to rush the boys into fixing it faster.

"Check your emails." You heard Felix call out and you opened your desktop looking through the emails and finding them sitting there.

"Felix I could kiss you right now!" You yelled looking at the photos and getting them ready for your boss to view them.

"Please don't." He called out, you hung up the phone and got ready for your boss who was standing at your door with a small smile on your face, ready to see what you had ready fro him.

Jisung:

The USB was sitting in two pieces in Jisung's hand and he didn't know what to do, you were due home any second from work and he didn't know how he was going to fix this or tell you that he'd just broken 4 years worth of book writing in one sitting, he little sat down without looking and broke the USB stick by accident. He knew how hard you'd been working on that book since you were spending every moment of your free time on it and he felt terrible, the door clicked open and he looked up to see you standing there holding takeout containers ready for your date night, your hands looked down at his and you saw the USB stick but instead of getting mad like he had expected you too you were calm about it and took the food out into the kitchen,

"You're not mad?" He questioned following you into the kitchen and showing you the USB, you looked up at him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Nope," He watched you walking around the kitchen in search for your plates.

"But it's broken..."

"Baby." You giggled turning to look at him and he looked as though he was the one going to cry, you wandered over to the other side of the kitchen opening a small drawer showing him 3 other USB sticks.

"I back it up every day." You told him taking the broken one from his hand and putting it into the bin,

"Plate food up, I need to pee." You giggled kissing him quickly and running off to the bathroom, Jisung relaxed instantly. Feeling better that you weren't mad at him for accidentally breaking something with so much work on it.

Felix:

You'd been spending weeks working on the home project for your mum, you'd found all the old VHS tapes of you and your family when you were younger and you were converting them all so they would be on a DVD instead of a VHS tape for everyone to view.

"I swear I've been working so hard my fingers are numb Chan, I don't know how you do this all the time." You said to Chan as he handed you some food, he'd come over to see you and Felix at your apartment and you were sitting at the dinner table together looking over at your laptop.

"What have you done so far?" You got it out and showed him what you'd been doing that day, you were on the tape of your brother.

"He's going to kill me, I'm keeping every embarrassing moment I can find on it." Felix came running into the room when he realised he was late for dinner, he'd been up in the shower for the last hour singing.

"What did I miss?" He slipped on the floor and knocked the table sending a drink flying over and spilling onto your laptop.

"NO!" You screamed out as you watched the screen fade to black and then Felix look guilty,

"Fuck." You cried out taking the laptop and trying to dry it out but it wasn't going to work, it was ruined.

"Baby I'm sorry-" You looked at Felix and he stopped talking, he could see how upset you were about it and he knew how hard you'd been working so he felt even worse.

"I'll help," You shook your head at him,

"No, it's fine...I'll- I'll figure something out." You whispered taking the laptop and putting it on the table and staring at it.

"I'll see if I can air it out," Chan added looking at it and wondering how he was going to manage it but you were already on your phone looking at your contract to see what was covered under the warranty, Felix left the room going to get started on editing the video's he'd seen you starting with before.

Seungmin:

Lockdown was starting to get to you but your assignments were done and ready to be sent in for their due dates the only good thing about being on lockdown was that you were with your boyfriend Seungmin when everything was passed, meaning you got to spend more time in Korea with him so you were working from the dorms and staying with them. You'd become like a housewife, working on your assignment when they were at the studio and once your assignments were done you would clean up for them and cook for when they would come in.

"You're an angel, you know that?" Felix said as you laid a plate down in front of him, you laughed and shook your head at him and looked over at Seungmin who was looking guilty,

"What's up with him?" You questioned with a small laugh behind your voice, Felix shrugged.

"He's been weird since we got in," Jeongin mentioned as you placed food in front of him as well,

"You haven't told her yet have you?" Han asked looking between you and Seungmin but he was met by a death glare from Seungmin you sat down next to him.

"Tell me what?" You questioned him but he stayed silent not wanting to bring it up at the dinner table but it was him or Han that was going to.

"I accidentally deleted four of your assignments." You dropped the fork that was in your hand and everyone stared up at you, even Chan who was getting ready to go back to the studio again.

"You what?" You asked looking at him and you could tell he was guilty about it, he took you out of the kitchen and towards his form room so he could explain everything and you told him it was fine. That you'd tried to get them back and if not you would rewrite everything again.

"You're not mad?" He asked taking your hand in his and running his thumb along your knuckles but you shook your head,

"I was ahead anyway, it's fine I'll just redo them if I have to." You reassured him but he still wasn't convinced about it, you kissed him on the cheek and told him to go and eat before the food went cold.

Jeongin:

Everything was ready to be sent off for your first job interview, you'd just gotten done with your skype interview and you were getting ready to send all of your art projects over to the interviewer who was waiting to view everything but nothing was where it was supposed to be on your laptop and you couldn't find any of the original files.

"Jeongin?" You called out picking up the laptop and carrying it through to the living room of the dorms to find him playing video games with Felix,

"Yeah?" He asked glancing at you and then back at the screen,

"Were you on my laptop today?" It was normally never a problem but once everything was gone it was starting to be a problem, he paused the game much to the disgust from Felix who looked up to see you. They could both see the panicked look on your face and Felix didn't know what to do about it, Jeongin got up and nodded at you.

"Yeah, why?"

"All my artwork is gone, the ones I needed for the interview, did you delete anything?" He shook his head and you sat on the floor putting the laptop on the table and double-checking that it wasn't there in case you missed something, but it was all gone.

"Don't you have it backed up?" Felix questioned and you shook your head at him,

"I broke the back up USB and I'm fucked if I don't get this in right now." You whispered looking at the screen, Jeongin asked what the folder was called and as soon as he heard the name and he felt awful.

"I may have accidentally, deleted it." You stared at him and Felix backed out of the room not wanting to be there for the discussion that was going to happen,

"How?" Jeongin took the laptop from your hands and began to look through the files on everything that was deleted earlier.

"You told me to clean it all up and I thought it was one of my folders. I'm so sorry." He continued to search for them and he finally found them in the recently deleted section, recovering it all and helping you send it to your interviewer.

[yanbub]

&&. RULES

blog rules ;

be nice ! hate isn't tolerated. i won't hesitate to be aggressive if needed.

be patient on your request ! i have a personal life too. don't rush me if i take too long on requests, if you want your request to be done then do it yourself. (i also have the tendency to go MIA suddenly for a day or two, so be patient.)

pls dni if you're a dark content blog / dark content consumer ! it makes me uncomfortable that ppl who consume / make dark content interacts with me. this also applies to nsfw blogs sending me nsfw asks / interactions. stop it, it's weird on how you want to discuss explicit things with a literal minor.

extra ! i have every right to be unmotivated to write at times. the tagging system on this platform is wack at (most) times and not every post of mine gets a good ratio. if you're mad about me with this then leave, i don't want you here.

writing rules ;

i only write headcanons that are sfw so all of my works are sfw.

my works are mostly in any genre except for nsfw so idk!1!1! go wild if requests are open.

please be specific when you request but DO NOT send me an entire essay or long message about it. just include the important details such as gender and the main idea for the request! being too specific can unmotivate me.

i delete requests i don't wanna write so if you don't see your request getting done within at least 3 weeks prior then it's most likely gone from my inbox. sorry for being picky :)

i don't write for triggering topics such as depression, s/h, etc. it makes me uncomfortable. i don't write emergency fics either for i am too unmotivated to actually write in general most of the time. i hate babies too so i don't write anything related to pregnancy, babies or whatnot.

other than that, works with various (3 or more characters basically) are automatically separated! not sure if i can write for polyamorous relationships so that's automatically out of the question.

character list ;

i write for albedo, childe, dainsleif, diluc, kaeya, kazuha, zhongli, xiao and thoma. more will be added since inazuma is here but i haven't met all characters yet!

[qwertyfingers]

we know that bobby only watched ds9 and dean watched the tos movies for sure which implies he's seen tos as well (plus he calls jack spock). so what do you think everyone's favorite trek is? sam is without a doubt a tng fan first and foremost. i think out of all tos movies cas prefers the wrath of khan because he Feels Things when kirk and spock do the ta'al through the glass. charlie has definitely seen some trek (we've seen her llap), do you think she's into tos first and foremost? anyway let's talk about star trek nights in the bunker.

OKAY SO I HAVE. MANY MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

like. like of COURSE bobby only likes ds9 of course he does i could have told you this without the show becuase like. bobby is That Bitch. i think rufus will have watched TOS at least because leonard nimoy worked hard on linking jewish faith and practices into the vulcan lore and i think that would mean something to him. bobby will catch rufus smiling at him sometimes while they’re watching ds9 and ask him what all gruffly and rufus will smirk at him and say something about sisko with jake and bobby with dean and bobby will just cough and take a swig of whiskey and rufus will raise his eyebrows but let it slide. rufus definitely makes a comment once about dean&cas being like jake&nog that totally flies over dean’s head but bobby is all knowing eyebrow raise about.

i think cas and jack would really like discovery. while it has some issues with inconsistency, pacing, being a little dark, it also does better than the other TV treks at utilising the nature of film as a medium to instill a sense of wonder, at space and the world, and that’s something they’d really appreciate. i have my own issues with disco, but an obol for charon is as close to the central core of trek that disco ever gets. cas and jack also like that one in particular because they like listening to all the different languages being spoken. they all love michael (everyone loves michael). cas’ faves are stamets and reno because they’re mean and gay, jack’s fave is tilly because she’s excitable and bright and he latches onto that. dean likes reno because she’s got spunk. sam’s fave is airiam and he will never forgive them for killing her off. sam, cas and dean all feel an uncomfortable kinship with both ash and culber - they’ve both been the one with monster teeming under the surface, controleld by something not themself, but they’ve also all spent that time in hell/purgatory, separated from everyone they love.

thinking about episodes that would really get to them all, darmok is. THE ONE. i have a whole unfinished essay about darmok as the platonic ideal of star trek; the perfect distillation of everything trek is SUPPOSED to be about. it doens’t always get there but by god it tries! that speech michael gives in the disco s2 finale - “There's a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - that’s what darmok is about!!! it’s all about a situation where real communication seems impossible, where everything we know about talking and learning has broken down. and picard says, okay, i will find another way. i can’t relate to you, you can’t relate to me, but by god i’m going to try. we all meet people we have trouble communicating with in our lives, and often, those people will not care about changing their own ways to accommodate us. for people with autism, adhd, psychosis, the list goes on, this is a very common occurrence. it’s exhausting and frustrating and alienating. darmok is all about crossing that barrier. about reaching for someone through a world of difficulty and learning how to talk. learning how to share something with someone who seems out of our reach. it’s beautiful, it’s heartwrenching, it means more to me than i can easily put into words! 

anyway i think the bunker fam would experience a lot of emotions watching it together. there’s defintiely a lot of hugging eachother, sam cries a lot and won’t look at anyone until after the episode ends. jack just asks a lot of questions and talks about his progress learning sign language with cas. dean snakes his hand into cas’ halfway through and doesn’t let go. doesn’t show the emotion on his face, but he clutches harder at the emotional beats. cas runs his fingers through jack’s hair and thinks a lot, and decides not to say anything unless dean talks first. its just a Lot for everyone. 

dean def makes them marathon all the TOS and TNG movies. it’s an experience everyone needs at least once. i think you’re right about cas and TWOK with the ta’al through the glass, but also ‘this simple feeling’ and the hand hold would make him feel crazy. bones being the one that spock entrusts with his katra DEF makes dean feel some type of way because as much as destiel is kirkspock-coded, dean IS bones, and seeing spock trust bones so completely despite how at odds they were when they first knew eachother would dig deep into dean’s psyche and make him more than a little bit nutso. the movies are way too long for jack so he mostly sits and plays animal crossing while they watch and looks at the screen when everyone else gasps or when something exciting is happening that holds his attention for a while. sam’s fave is nemesis precisely because it’s terrible and he loves how camp it is.

dean has definitely seen all of trek. i refuse to believe someone who watches as much tv and films as dean wouldn’t sit and watch the whole shebang. i think he’s probably seen TOS and the TOS movies more than the others because its easier than sitting through 7 seasons, but i think rather than that being his favourite he’d just have really strong opinions about the best episodes of each one? like if you asked him what his favourite is he’d say you can’t answer that because they’re all so different from eachother

VOY - bride of chaotica, non seqitur, macrocosm for the favourite episodes. seven, janeway and tuvok would be his favourite characters. he think toms a bit of a knob but also feels a kinship with him for the similar brand of bab dad-ism but he wouldn’t be able to put that into words. he’s also a fierce defender of threshold being a good episode (he’s right for that)

DS9 - our man bashir it’s our man bashir. he doesn’t dislike ds9 but its very plot heavy and he didn’t care for it when he was younger. rewatching it after living through multiple supernatural wars he’d probably appreciate it more. i know for a fact he cries every time there’s an episode about sisko being a good dad. jadzia and garak are his faves

TNG - he LOVES q. he also absolutely will not be caught dead referencing how much loves q after cas comes into his life because sam will do the little brotherly knowing eyebrow raise at him and he will die of embarrassment. he regularly references ‘there are four lights’ because he’s a fucking nerd. he has made cas watch elementary my dear data and fistful of datas a half dozen times each at LEAST. cas KNEW how dean was going to be about the cowboy hat he’s defintiely got into full cowboy getup at home just for watching movies and in cas’ head star trek is fully to blame.

TOS - oh there are so many good TOS eps to choose from. obv he loves most of the series becuase TOS has MANY banger eps, his favourites are probably like. mirror mirror, amok time (baby dean defintiely had some kind of crisis watching it for the first time; i know the rituals are intricate). i know deep in my bones that dean watched the conscience of the king (introduction of the tarsus iv massacre) once and then spent his entire teenage years writing fic about that in his head, whether he posted it or not. dean related too much to those experiences of shared hunger. city on the edge of forever is one of everyone’s faves for a reason (and i’m STILL mad we never got a closer take on that episode in spn it could have been so fun). 

ENT - he definitely thinks enterprise is stupid and he’s not wrong but he has also definitely watched it and been very repressed about the whole thing. mans was like oh i feel a kinship with malcolm reed the obviously repressed queer man. i will never examine this feeling ever again thank you <3 he also makes fun of archer for being obsessed with, of all sports, water polo. shran is his favourite character because he’s a little shit and makes him laugh, and t’pol, because t’pol is a badass and he’d appreciate that. i can’t remember the title of a single episode off the top of my head though lol.

i can see what you’re saying about sam being a TNG stan. i’m conflicted though, I feel like TNG’s generally the favourite of 1) obnoxious nerds who think knowing trivia facts makes them smart, 2) men desperately trying to seem masculine and 3) people who’ve watched it three times and have extremely complex thoughts on the personhood and rights of robots. i could see sam fitting into the third group, but people who are in it for the robot feelings are a coin flip between voyager and tng being the fave, and i just have a feeling that voyager would be his favourite. i know kid sam is getting gender envy watching voyager in shitty motels while dad and dean are out, trying to find the words for it. his first semester at stanford he talks a friend into giving him the janeway haircut and rides that high for months. sam’s favourite characters are seven and EMH. 

sam and dean have definitely had dozens of long drawn out debates about philosophical topics in star trek. do the holograms deserve rights and if so which ones. are the romulans and vulcans still meaningfully the same people. was spock right for trying to foment reunification by going undercover on romulus. can the borg be redeemed. etc etc.

i haven’t seen any of picard at all so i can’t comment. i also think sam and dean probably read a lot of the trek books? they’re pretty common to find in secondhand bookstores and cheap, would have been even cheaper back in the day. sam probably doesn’t care for them much, dean has a few solid faves though. i’ve only read the disco books so i can’t comment anything specifically (besides the fact that i think dean read dead endless and cried like a baby), but some of the TOS and DS9 books are gay as hell and i know dean was eyes emoji-ing that shit. 

[quickspinner]

Hi, I kind of have some questions that I’m curious about. Let’s say ML is getting a reboot and you were a writer hired for the show. 1. What would you change? And which episodes would you remove? 2.How would you have written Luka into season 1? 3. How would have made the interactions between Luka and Marinette work? 4. How would you write Lukanette to be endgame?

I feel like this is an essay question on a final exam! 😆 I’m going to have to be general by necessity here or I’d be writing several pages of thesis for weeks. (edit: and even so it is super long and wordy, so just imagine how bad it could have been) 

1. What would I change?

Honestly, I don’t think I would change a lot of the basic premise. I like the show and I like the characters as a whole, but I would definitely tweak a few things in the storytelling approach. 

a) I would remove some of the restrictions they’ve placed on themselves, such as their commitment to each episode being as stand alone as possible. It’s possible to have continuity and still have an episode format where young kids can jump in at any point and understand what’s going on. You can have character growth and consistent timelines without making it so that anyone who misses an episode is lost, and you can have the occasional two-parter episode if you have a heavy point to make. If this ultimately ends up shifting the target audience a little older, then so be it, although I don’t think it’s especially necessary. I feel like one of the show’s big problems is that they’re trying to tell a story that’s outgrown their framework, and it’s something that should have been planned for from the beginning.

b) I would rework their ‘forumula’ of having Marinette make a mistake and then learn from it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the idea of ‘each episode should teach a lesson’ but they’re not committed enough to it, and it’s a mistake to think that just because Marinette is the protagonist, she has to be the one making all the mistakes and learning all the lessons. As a result we end up with Marinette suffering for no good reason and apologizing in situations where she did nothing wrong, and the ‘lesson’ she was meant to learn ends up muddled and confusing. It’s okay if not every episode has a lesson. As a parent I don’t ask that every single moment of my children’s entertainment be educational, just that it not be actively harmful, and the current presentation often is thanks to their determination to blame Marinette and the confusing messaging that results. So, follow through with that lesson formula most of the time, but let the appropriate character learn a lesson, and address it more clearly. 

Gamer 2.0 is a perfect example. The worst thing Marinette did was disregard Max’s feelings about the tournament so that she could play with Adrien, and they could have acknowledged that while also having Max learn the lesson that sometimes you have to learn to lose gracefully, and that just because effort isn’t rewarded the way you wanted it to be, it doesn’t mean it was without value. Or Reflekdoll; both Juleka and Alya had lessons to learn about communicating clearly and paying attention to other people’s feelings respectively. 

c) Expanding from that, I’d have the narrative hold people accountable more equitably across the board. A good 90% of my frustration with Adrien/Chat Noir is that the narrative never holds him accountable for his actions (I’m excluding NY here because I have a whole other essay’s worth of Stuff to say on that, but yes, I will acknowledge that it was at least a minimal step forward towards holding him accountable). What I mean by that is, there is never any doubt that Chloe is behaving badly. There is never any doubt that Lila is not a good person. The narrative makes it clear through their presentations, the other characters’ reactions to them, and the consequences of their actions, that the way they behave is not okay.

Likewise, the narrative never fails to condemn Marinette for her mistakes, often through ridicule and humiliation and sometimes by consequences far out of proportion of her actual mistakes. 

Adrien/Chat is never on the receiving end of that. None of the things he does that we’re all so salty about are ever that bad, certainly no worse than many other characters. However, he’s never held to account for it. There’s never any apology, and rarely any consequences. Copycat is maybe the closest episode to holding Chat accountable, but even so there’s no acknowledgement or apology required for Chat himself. Because, as per point b above, Marinette is the one who makes mistakes and learns lessons and so it’s her mistakes that we focus on. I was utterly shocked in Frozer when he leaned forward and told her to use her lucky charm instead of saying “hey, sorry I ran off and left you to face the villain alone, which might have gotten you seriously hurt if I hadn’t happened along in the nick of time.” It wasn’t fair of him to be upset with Ladybug in Siren when she agreed to do what she could to get Fu to fill him in (and followed through) but there was no apology for that either. He was right to be upset but he was mad at the wrong person, and at the end of the day he got what he wanted without actually having to admit that he did anything wrong or unfair, and that’s frustrating. Glaciator came close, when he graciously accepted Ladybug’s rejection, but there was no change after that to drive it home (and he wasn’t held accountable for lying to his friends to ditch their ice cream plan either). Again, none of these things individually make him a bad person or a horrible character, but it’s grating to see him constantly let off the hook, usually with Marinette having to take responsibility instead.

Not only Chat, but Alya as well, and we’ve actually seen Nino do some apologizing so that’s a positive start. Get past the idea that Marinette is the only one who can make mistakes and learn a lesson; the kids will learn it just as well from someone else. Go watch some 80′s cartoons, geeze, they were masters of the morality-based narrative. 

Let us see Chat (and others) apologize and then (per point a) improve his behavior, maybe getting upset and caught up in his feelings again but this time recognizing that they have a job to do first. Let everybody grow, instead of pounding on Marinette again and again and again. 

d) More time with the side characters. I don’t know how I’d manage it tbh, half an hour is not a lot of time, but I would love to see more of the friendships and especially the art club. Perhaps if the show were less focused on making Marinette the lesson of every episode, there would be more time for the other characters to grow and learn and be explored.

Which episodes would you remove?

I don’t think there are any episodes that I would remove...maybe Party Crasher because that episode was just...weird...but I did like the friendship aspect of it (this is one of those ones where their formula gets muddy and confusing, because...”don’t tell lies and make crappy excuses to your friends” is really what we were supposed to get from that? So, I don’t know if that episode was salvageable. Almost all the other episodes that really give me cringe (hello, Puppeteer 2) contained important moments that could have been delivered in a less upsetting matter if the points above were addressed. Stormy Weather 2 was pretty pointless, but it wouldn’t have been if there had been any actual continuity for a clip show to catch you up on. (while we were chatting today @verfound made a great point though about how Puppeteer 2 could have been used as a clip show as they walked through the wax museum, and I had to agree that would have been much more effective).

2.How would you have written Luka into season 1?

I honestly don’t think I would have? I think he came in at right about the right time. I would have maybe given him a cameo in Reflekta just to set up Captain Hardrock a little more, but other than that, I don’t think it was time for him to come on the scene yet.

3. How would have made the interactions between Luka and Marinette work?

I actually really like how things are now. I would like to see Marinette be more direct and honest with him. Right now, Luka consistently arranges everything so that she never has to admit anything she isn’t ready for. He addresses her feelings without her ever having to bring them up, admit to them, or voice them on her own, and while that’s very kind and I feel like both Luka’s perceptiveness and his kindness and desire to make her comfortable are very central to his character, I would like Marinette tp at some point acknowledge his feelings and her own to his face. Right now their relationship has a level of honesty that I feel like is lacking in most of the others, but it’s mainly due to Luka’s perceptiveness and willingness to be honest himself than it does with anything Marinette’s done, so I’d like to see her exhibit a little more agency there. 

4. How would you write Lukanette to be endgame?

Ooof...I mean, I feel like I addressed some possibilities for that in Finding Harmony and in Second Chance. Marinette has to get over her feelings for Adrien, either by recognizing that she’s just ready to let go (Finding Harmony), dating him and letting the relationship come to a natural end (Second Chance), or confessing her feelings to him and being rejected so that she can get through the heartbreak and move on. The push-and-pull situation the show has her in right now was sustainable for a while, and for seasons one and two it felt like there was some growth there so her constant flailing didn’t seem totally useless. It seemed like she was getting closer to telling him, like she was getting more comfortable with him over time, like there was still the possibility of him liking her back. Up through Despair Bear I was on board with the Adrien is oblivious/in denial of his feelings theory and all was well. 

But as he continued to choose Kagami over Marinette over and over then Marinette’s flailing began to be more pathetic and hopeless, and I became less willing to believe that Adrien had any real feelings for Marinette beyond friendship, and that’s where the ‘Whatever chance there was, I think I missed it’ conversation in Finding Harmony came from. There was a moment where maybe if she had been able to confess they could have been something, but she didn’t, and the moment has passed and now she has to move on.

So yeah, to me there has to be a breaking point of some kind that gives Marinette that push to start making an effort to get over her feelings (Puppeteer 2 would have been the perfect place for it, and I think it was after that episode that I actually started writing Finding Harmony). She’d have to put in effort, it would be hard, and she would do everything she was attempting to do in the NY special and more, and it would take time and support and it would hurt. There’d be Lukanette comfort and support just like there has been up until now, but they wouldn’t date until Marinette reached a point where she really felt free. 

Second Chance was more along the lines of what I expected to actually happen, in that Marinette and Adrien would get together for a while, and then post series there would be a breakup and a reunion with Luka where they rekindle their feelings. 

I haven’t written a fic where Marinette confesses and is rejected because I just don’t want to deal in that kind of pain. But, Miracle Queen is honestly an acceptable substitute, where she sees Adrien’s budding relationship with someone else and resigns herself to it and commits to moving on. I just would want season 4 to pick up at that point, and move her through that difficult time of trying to break all those old habits, trying to find a way to be his friend without indulging in ways that are unhealthy for her (like long tight hugs and sniffing his cologne). I don’t think rushing straight into another relationship is a healthy answer for either Marinette or Luka. This is something Marinette has to work through, and Luka can support her, but she has to do the work herself. 

So that’s my off-the-cuff, didn’t study, winging it exam answer. Hope it satisfies some of your curiosity!

[writingsforanyone]

Forgotten Fling 1/7

Pairing: Brett Talbot + Y/N

Warnings: None

a/n: i haven’t written anything in like a year but i thought i’d give it another shot so if this is awful i’m sorry!! pt. 2 will be out soon!

You shot up from your desk as the bell rang signaling the end of class, and rushed out of the classroom and into the hallway. Before you could make your way to your locker, you saw your younger brother Liam fast walking past you, his best friend Mason on his heels.

“Liam. Wait. LIAM,” you heard Mason say as you jogged up to meet them.

“Brett!” Liam said, making you freeze and your eyes grow wide. You watched as the 6’2 blonde lacrosse player stepped off the Devenford Prep charter bus and looked directly at Liam when he heard his name.

“Ahh here we go,” Mason said from beside you.

“I just wanted to say… have a good game,” your brother said as he stuck his hand out. You and Mason looked at each other in confusion, expecting a much louder and meaner introduction from the sophomore. Brett and the other Devenford Prep lacrosse players started laughing before Brett spoke up.

“That’s cute Liam. Is that what they told you to say in anger management? Apologize and everything is fine? You demolished Coach’s car”

“I paid for it,” Liam answered, obviously tense.

“Yeah, you’re gonna pay for it. We’re gonna break you in half out there. And it’s gonna be all your fault,” Brett finished.

At that point, you had had enough of Brett’s antics, and when you saw Liam clenching his fist and blood dripping from his hand, you pushed your way past the small crowd that had formed and grabbed your brother’s arm.

“Come on Liam. He’s not worth it,” you said glaring at Brett before beginning to walk away.

“Me? Not worth it? That’s not what you were saying a few months ago babygirl,” Brett said with a smirk, causing you to turn back around.

“People change Talbot. Not surprised that you haven’t,” you retorted, turning around and grabbing Liam, walking past Mason, Scott, and the rest of the pack who all stood back in confusion. You heard Stiles start talking trying to defuse the situation, but you continued walking with Liam back into the school to calm him down.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You pulled into the Beacon Hills High parking lot later that night, dropping Liam off early for his game. You wanted to stay and watch, but you had procrastinated an essay that was due in two days, and you needed to go home and work on it. Regardless, you walked toward the bleachers and slumped down next to Lydia and Malia. You were obviously in a bad mood, and looking over at Brett pulling a shirt over his head didn’t help. He turned towards you and made eye contact with you, but after a moment, you tore your gaze away from him. That caused Lydia to ask,

“So what exactly was that about earlier?”

You knew exactly what she was talking about, and you knew the question was coming. You took a deep breath before explaining your history with Brett.


“Brett and I had a habit of hooking up, very often. We would call the other whenever we were bored, lonely, sad, mad, whatever the case was. Sometimes it wouldn’t even be to hook up, it would be because we simply needed someone to be there for us. At school we would talk in our classes or in the hallways, we’d go to each others games, and we would always go to parties together. We would flirt with other people and talk to them, but at the end of the night we always went home with each other. Everyone thought we would eventually get together, but we never did. We were just friends, who had a bad habit of hooking up with each other,” you finished, kind of relieved to have gotten all of that off of your chest.

“If you guys were friends and all, what happened earlier at the bus?” Malia questioned.

“When everything happened with Liam and the lacrosse team, Brett started to be an ass to Liam at school, at practice, everywhere he saw him. When Liam told me about it, I confronted Brett, and he basically told me I had to choose between him or Liam, and I obviously chose Liam,” you sighed. With that, you bid your friends farewell, and walked down the bleachers towards the rest of your friends. You gave them hugs and wished them good luck, making sure to give your brother a few extra words of encouragement, knowing he would need it. You started walking towards your car and heard the game start in the background. You wished you could stay, but you needed to write your essay, and the thought of being in the same vicinity as Brett Talbot made you want to gag. You unlocked your car and threw your purse into the passenger seat. You climbed in and drove out of the parking lot, heading straight for your house.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sitting on your bed, typing away at your computer, you had managed to write almost 3 pages since you had gotten home. Clad in your favorite gray sweatpants and a blue cropped t-shirt, and hair thrown in a messy bun, you were in your zone. Suddenly, your phone rang, startling you. You checked the caller ID and saw that your brother was calling you.

“Hello?” you answered, wondering if you were supposed to go pick him up.

“Y/N I’m at the animal clinic with Stiles, Derek, and Brett. Brett got hurt and Deaton is trying to help him and he won’t calm down and he’s going to— never mind. We need you down here you have to come calm him down.“ Liam rambled. You cut him off by saying,

“I’m on my way,” and hung up the phone. You jumped out of bed and shoved your feet into the closet pair of shoes you had. You grabbed your keys and sprinted down the stairs, out the front door, and into your car. You headed towards the animal clinic as fast as you could go with getting pulled over.

When Liam first told you that Scott had bit him, you weren’t as shocked as he thought you would be. Sure you were shocked at the fact that Liam had gotten bit and there was a whole pack of werewolves at your school, but you already knew werewolves existed. Brett had told you about the supernatural months ago, and he also told you that he was a born werewolf. He explained to you that born werewolves had better control over their inner wolf, and that anchoring themselves was easier. However, over the months that you and Brett were having your little fling, he told you that you became his anchor, and you were the reason he was able to stop himself from wolfing out. He called you every full moon and asked you to come stay with him, and you would. You would hold him and stroke his hair to help him fall asleep, knowing that if he was asleep, he would be ok. You snapped out of your thoughts as you pulled up to the clinic, wiping the few tears that you realized had fallen from your eyes. You ran into the clinic and into the back room, and saw Derek and Stiles trying to hold Brett down.

“Derek, how about a little werewolf strength,” You heard Stiles say.

“I’m not the only one here with werewolf strength,” He argued back, and you immediately went over the the table. Brett was thrashing back and forth and there was yellow stuff coming from his mouth. You put you hands on both of his cheeks and turned his head towards you, and Derek and Stiles continued to try to hold him still.

“Brett. Brett. Can you hear me? It’s Y/N. I need you to look at me ok? Focus on my voice,” you said. You didn’t notice the few tears that fell from your eyes and onto the table, only focusing on Brett. He looked up at you and started to calm down a bit, but he was still breathing heavy and you could tell he was in pain.

“Hey baby,” you chuckled through your tears, glad that you were still able to calm him down like you used to. Suddenly, you heard something fall, and looked over to see that Liam has knocked something over. With that, Brett started to thrash around again, and he pushed Derek and Stiles away from him. You jumped back and watched as he jumped up from the table trying to find this way out. Someone punched him directly in the face and he was knocked unconsious, and everyone looked over to see Peter in the doorway.

“I guess I still have a little werewolf strength myself,” Peter said.

“Maybe more than a little,” Derek said back, as Stiles moved over to Brett, who was lying on the floor.

“Hey Doc, I don’t think he’s breathing,” Stiles said, and you moved over to kneel next to him. You watched as Deaton made an cut in Brett’s chest, and a cloud of yellow smoke was realized. He started breathing and you smiled as deacon said,

“He’ll be fine, but he’ll probably be out for a while.”

You heard mumbling and turned to see Brett trying to say something. You leaned down and heard him whispering,

“The sun, the moon, the truth,” to himself.

“It’s his pack’s mantra. Satomi’s pack,” you said to the others, remembering how Brett had explained it to you. With that, you moved to grab paper towels from the counter, and began wiping the yellow wolfsbane from Brett’s face and chest. You then stood up, wondering if you should wait with Brett until he woke up.

“He probably wouldn’t want to see me, especially not after this,” you mumbled to yourself, forgetting that the 3 werewolves in the room could hear you. Liam looked over at you knowingly. He knew you eventually grew feelings for Brett as your fling went on, but he never said anything to you about it. He just knew. You grabbed your bag and walked out of the room and out of the building, waiting for Liam to follow so the two of you could go home.

[hms-chill]

Kicking Underwater

Summary: "He's not going to be the youngest elected congressman in history without earning it, but nobody needs to know how hard he's kicking underwater. His sex-symbol stock would plummet" -- Casey McQuiston, page 3

----

Henry knows that Alex's midterm season will be hard. He knows Alex overworks himself, so he talks to June, and he makes sure he knows exactly how to look after Alex when he's at his busiest. He's ready to come home early when he can, bringing Alex's favorite takeout for days when making dinner together would take too much time. He's ready to drag Alex to bed by two AM, ready to keep him from drinking too much coffee and hiding in the office with the blinds closed all day.

What he isn't ready for is a version of Alex at midterms who seems normal, if a bit more tired. Yes, Alex is working more, but it seems reasonable. They still have their biweekly cooking lessons, and Alex joins him for David's walks sometimes. He comes to bed at reasonable hours, and he promises he's hydrating and eating while Henry's gone. So, even if Alex starts to look more tired or worried, things seem to be alright. He still works hard, he has late nights of studying or dog walks where he spends the whole time thinking aloud about an essay, but it's far from the self-destruction Henry was afraid of.

Maybe, just maybe, he's been able to help Alex relax. If Alex looks more tired, maybe it's just showing on his face more than normal. He's tossing and turning a bit more at night, but he always seems to relax when Henry holds him. If he looks more stressed, well, they can't exactly expect a stress-free midterm season. But things don't seem much worse than normal, and June seems happy, so Henry convinces himself not to be worried. He still worries, of course, but he tries to convince himself not to.

There's one week in particular that he's dreading. It's a week when Alex has two tests and an essay, and the class he's a TA for has a test, so he has forty-some essay questions to grade amidst his own studying.

But Sunday ends, and the chaos week starts, and things seem alright.

Alex's class take their test on Monday, and Alex brings home a stack of papers, but he agrees to take a break and walk David while Henry proofreads his essay, and they both agree that it's a good enough essay to call it for the night. Henry thinks it's good enough to turn in, but Alex wants to tweak it, and it's not worth the argument as long as Alex is coming to bed without Henry having to plead.

He looks tired on Tuesday, but he swears he's alright, and Henry trusts him. It must just be the stress of the week. He makes sure to tell Alex he loves him a few extra times, and even convinces Alex to accept a shoulder rub while he grades essays and makes study guides. And really, all things considered, it seems good.

Henry's not sure what wakes him up somewhere that feels like Tuesday night but is technically Wednesday morning, but when he cuddles closer to Alex to try to go back to sleep, there's a light. He opens his eyes a bit to see Alex awake, one hand around Henry, the other furiously typing into his phone. In the light of the phone screen he looks exhausted, the bags under his eyes exaggerated and every stress line deepened by the long shadows. Henry hums, reaching a heavy hand up to push Alex's phone down. Alex looks over in surprise, phone still in place.

"Hen? What are you doing up?"

"You?" Henry asks in place of an answer. Alex sighs.

"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd get some more work done."

Except that, when Alex wants to sleep but can't, he gets up. He'll get a glass of water, or he'll wander down to the kitchen in search of helados, or he'll go to a window for some fresh air. Once, Henry even found him looking up yoga poses in the hallway outside their room. An Alex who wants to sleep but can't is a restless creature, a far cry from the boy gently stroking Henry's hair with a google doc open on his phone. Henry just shakes his head. "No. Stop work. Sleep."

"I can't sleep. I've just got to clean this essay up a bit, and then I can stop worrying about it."

"Please sleep?" Henry asks, finally awake enough for complete sentences. "It'll be there in the morning."

"So will everything else. I just have to get it done; go back to sleep."

"I thought it was done." It's due tomorrow, but Alex had said he'd turned the essay in earlier that day. Henry wonders vaguely if he can re-submit it, or if he'd never actually turned it in.

"It's... fine. It's good enough, maybe, but it's not great. I'm just... making it better so I can turn it in again and have it be great."

"It doesn't need to be great. It's okay. You're working so hard, and you're doing your best, and that's all anyone can ask. You don't need to keep working all the time, you need to sleep. You're enough as you are," Henry says.

Alex finally lets him push the phone down as he rolls over to bury his face in Henry's chest. Henry's a bit surprised, but he pulls Alex in close, rubbing his back as Alex's hands grab onto the pajama shirt Henry wears mostly so that Alex can hold onto him if he needs to, just like this. Henry just holds him until Alex looks up and says, "you're the only one who's ever said that. That I'm good enough, I mean. Other people say... they say I'm smart, or good at things, but then I have to keep being smart and good at things so I don't disappoint them. I always, always have to keep... keep being those things without trying, because if they seem me trying, or if I'm not smart or good at things, then they... it feels like they won't like me. But you... you're the only one who ever says I don't have to be anything more than I am."

"You don't, love. You're enough. Everything you do, everything you are... you're more than enough, and I adore you just how you are. I love how hard you try, but it's... you don't need to. Not for me, at least. For me, just being you is enough."

Alex lets out a snort of a laugh, humorless, his hands still tangled in Henry's shirt. "I... I don't think anyone's really gotten to see me trying before. Maybe June knows, but that's because she's smart and knows everything, not because I let her see. I... really, no one was supposed to know how hard I work. It... I'm supposed to just be naturally good at everything; I'm not supposed to have to try."

"Well, that's not very realistic."

"I know, but it... it's how it's supposed to be."

"Says who?"

"Everyone. I can't be, you know, millennial heartthrob Alex Claremont-Diaz if I have to wear reading glasses, or if I'm skipping parties to write essays, or if I drop out of school because I fail con law and I can never look Professor Westbrook in the eye again." Henry presses a gentle kiss to his forehead, trying to smooth the wrinkles there, as he processes that. He can't promise that the world will love a bespectacled Alex as much as he does, or that anyone in their right mind would understand if a law school student has to focus on a test. So instead, he focuses on the last point, knowing for a fact that Alex's con law grade is miles from forcing him to drop out.

"What do you have in con law right now, Alex?"

"A 98%, I think. But we have a test this week, and that midterm paper isn't in yet."

"I think, with a 98% and a very good paper, you're rather far from failing."

"I still could."

"I'd love you anyway. So would your family, and Nora and Bea and Pez."

"Maybe. You'd all be disappointed, though."

"We wouldn't. Or, well, I wouldn't, at least. Not if you'd done your best."

"If... if I tried and still failed, you wouldn't be disappointed in me?"

"Not at all. I love you, and I don't think I could ever truly be disappointed in you for trying." Alex looks genuinely surprised by that, and Henry's heart breaks a bit as he realizes that Alex wasn't sure of this.

"I'm proud of everything you do," Henry says softly, pressing a kiss to Alex's forehead. "I'm proud of your work ethic, and your drive to make things better. I'm proud of you when you ask for help, and when you give yourself a break, and when you put your life on hold to help people you care about, and when you're able to say no to people because you need to do something for yourself. I am always, always proud of you and the good things you do."

"Really?"

"Really. You don't need to be anything more than who you are and want to be. I'm proud of you, and I love you, and you're enough for me, no matter what."

Alex's phone buzzes from somewhere between them, but Alex ignores it to close his eyes, resting his forehead on Henry's collarbone.

"I'm proud of you. Not the things you've done, not the bits and pieces that you let everyone see. You, fully and completely. You're more than enough to make me happy forever," Henry says softly. Alex takes one deep breath, then another. Henry keeps him close, rubbing gentle circles into his back as Alex slowly accepts the compliment.

"I... I think I needed to hear that. I've been... if I tell you something, will you promise not to be mad or take that back?"

Henry nods, and into his chest, Alex says, "I've been working on study guides and essays from my phone while you sleep. Just for the past few days, but I... I wanted to be able to work, but I didn't want you to worry, so I... I waited for you to fall asleep, and then I'd stay here but work on things until I was too tired to think anymore. I'm sorry I lied. And... and that I pushed too hard. I didn't... it wasn't the plan, it just happened, I guess. I'm sorry. I'll stop."

"It's alright. I mean, it's not... I wish you hadn't, but I'm glad you told me, and I'd like to help you look after yourself. If you need to stay up later to work, you can tell me. If we need to skip a cooking lesson or a dog walk or anything, just say the word, and we'll skip it. I'm proud of how much you want to do well, and I'm proud of you for letting me know you're pushing yourself a bit too much. Could I help with the school stuff at all? Maybe I could quiz you, or grade a multiple choice section of some of the tests if the professor doesn't mind?"

"I... I think the quizzing would be good when I have a study guide. And for grading, I... I'll talk to the professor." Alex doesn't move, so Henry presses a kiss to the top of his head and says, "I love you. And I'm proud of you, I really, really am. You're more than I could have ever dreamed of, and more than enough for me."

Alex's phone buzzes again, and Henry fishes it out from between them by the charging cord, reaching over Alex to set it on the end table, switching it to do not disturb. When both his arms are back around his boyfriend, Alex cuddles in closer. He's snoring softly into Henry's chest within moments.

He's beautiful. Knowing what the days before this have been hurt Henry's heart, knowing that Alex has been so exhausted and that Henry hadn't been able to convince him to look after himself. But this Alex, the one who's finally resting, is beautiful. So Henry holds him close, and he kisses the top of Alex's head, and he swears to anyone who might listen that he's going to look after Alex. He's going to make sure Alex knows that he's proud of and supports him no matter how he does in his classes or internship or anything else. And, from now until the end of time, Henry swears that Alex will know exactly how overwhelmingly, unendingly loved he is.

On AO3

Notes:

Me? Writing something to process the terror of graduating from college when all your options are shut down by a pandemic? Never.

-

Want to support the Hannah-Makes-Art fund? You can tip me in ko-fi here!

[cherrytdatt]

Sadness Ritual pt. 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Summary: Will Harrison's engagement party solve things between Y/N and Tom?

Warnings: N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

A/N: PART 3 IS HERE!!! after struggling a lot I finally did it. Part of this was inspired by the engagement scene in 'set it up' also know as my favorite rom-com ever so think about that vibe! I hope you guys like it. I really liked.

Playlist: No playlist...I heard so many things...It was a rollercoaster!

Part 1 | Part 2

Three months ago, at 3 am, Tom stood in your kitchen and said the words you wished for months to hear from him. And yet, you felt your entire chest hurt, and you couldn't look at him. You sent him home, and since then, you didn't see him again. But now, the inevitable was coming. Anna and Harrison's engagement party is in one day. You're the maid of honor, and Tom is the best man. Anna asked you if you would be okay seeing him again and, to be honest, you don't know, but it’s her engagement party. You won't deny the presence of her fianceé's best friend and best man.

"Ready for the party?" Anna asked while you two looked at some dresses in some store.

The party would be something small, just family and friends, in Tom's backyard. You wanted to help, but going to Tom's house, knowing he would be there, wasn't in your plans.

"Yeah! I'm so happy for you. And Harrison. Since your first date, I knew you two would get married," you said with a smile. "I remember I said I would be a shitty maid of honor," you said with a laugh. "And Tom said he would be a great best man," your smile faded a little when you thought about Tom.

"Did you talk to him?" Anna asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," you said simply.

"Harrison said he's feeling better, but still misses you," Anna said with a weak voice.

You cleared your throat. "I miss him too," you said almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you talk to him?" she asked.

"I don't know. Things got pretty bad between us. I'm still sad with him, and I'm sure he is sad with me too," you said, and the sadness in your voice was almost palpable.

"I'm sure he forgave you. And I think you already forgave him. You're just afraid," she said.

"Maybe. Let's see how mad I'll be when I see him tomorrow," you chuckled, but your voice was still sad. "D-do you...hum...do know what happened...to the girl?

"Oh, please! He ended things with her the morning after your fight, and never saw her again," Anna said.

"What you think of these?" you asked, putting a black floral dress in front of you, and changing the subject to hide how happy that information made you.

"Loved," she said animatedly.

"I'll try it," you said, going into the dressing room.

You didn't wanna think about Tom and all the situation now, but the talk with Anna got stuck into your head. 'He still misses you'. Her voice was louder and clearer than when you talked. You decided to buy the black dress for Anna's party. Thank God she chose a very casual party, so you could go with comfortable clothes.

"I see you tomorrow," Anna said goodbye, leaving you in front of your building.

You got into your apartment, still thinking about your talk with her. You missed Tom, more than anything in your life, but every time you thought about those pictures, and the fact that he did all that even though he liked you, you felt a strange and bitter feeling in your stomach. All you wanted was to talk to him and solve things, but you felt so afraid of what he would do and what he was willing to do to make things better. 

You used the rest of your night writing some essays you had to finish this week and watching some comedy on TV.

'Hey. How are you? I just wanna say that I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And I want you to know that I'm cool if you decide not to talk with me. I just want you to be okay 🙂' Tom's message took your attention away from the TV. You stared at the text, not knowing what to say. Of course, you wanted to see him, but talk to him would be the best thing? You really didn't know.

'Hi. I'm great. And you? I'm okay talking to you tomorrow,' you typed, throwing the phone on the other side of the couch like it was a bomb ready to explode. "Fuck!" you said, noticing the smile that appeared in your face.

'I'm good. That's good. I miss talking to you. How crazy it is that our friends are getting married?!@#$' The bleep from your phone made you smile again, and you reached for it, reading his text.

'Crazy as shit! We're not old enough for this,' you ignored the first half of the text on purpose. You missed him, but you weren't ready to let him know that yet.

'I keep saying this to Harrison, but he doesn't listen to me lol. But they love each other very much. Harrison showed me his speech, and I cried like a baby,' he said, and you laughed, remembering how easy it was for him to cry. He had a playlist just for that.

'Well, It's not that hard to make you cry lol. I chose not to hear Anna's speech. I wanted to be a surprise,' you confessed. She told you it would be very emotional, so you decided to enjoy with everyone else at the party.

'I don't cry that easily. I didn't even cry in my last movie,' he said, and you remembered you didn't watch the movie with him because the release happened when you were not talking.

'Congratulations on the movie, btw. I heard it's very good,' you said, confessing you didn't watch it. The real reason for you not to watch you weren't confessing. You didn't wanna hear see him or hear his voice. It was too painful.

'You didn't watch it yet? 😱' he asked, and you could see the shocked and offended look on his face.

'I'm sorry. I didn't have time,' you lied.

'We need to change this! This is unacceptable!' he said, and you wanted to invite him over to solve things once and for all. You wanted to sit in front of the TV, with Tom by your side, like you always did, and watch as many movies as possible.

'I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow at the party,' you cut him off before he could ask anything else, and Tom noticed that. Because in one minute he was smiling at his cellphone, just about to ask you to watch a movie with him, and now he was staring at your last text, questioning everything he could've said or done to make things different.

"Hey, mate. Are you okay?" Harry asked, entering the TV room, and seeing his brother with a weird face, ignoring the TV.

"Yeah. Just...talked to Y/N," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Really? How did it go?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He saw his brother whining and moping around the house for the last three months. After the pictures got released, Tom freaked out. He had to go to therapy, you stopped coming to their house, and he wasn't that cheerful guy anymore. Now, he was in a good place. Not like before, but he was getting there. And talk to you was the last step to make everything go back to normal.

"It was going back to normal, but then she shut me down. Not aggressively. She just didn't give me the opportunity to make things as normal as before," he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, man. But that is better than nothing, right?" Harry shrugged. "And you are seeing her tomorrow. Who knows what can happen?" he smiled, and his brother did the same.

To say that this night was hard was an understatement. Tom couldn't sleep. He scrolled through his entire timeline on Instagram, watched a movie, then another one, ate, played video game, and when there was nothing else to do, he decided that 5am was a good time to go to the gym. But not even that helped him relax. He could feel every fiber in his body suffering from anxiety. Tea with his mom after lunch was the only thing that kept his mind calm for a few hours. After that, he went home to get ready for the party. 

There was no set of clothes in his closet that worked. Nothing was good enough. "Hey..." Anna called him from the door. "Want some help?" she offered.

"No. I know you have other things to do. I don't wanna bother you," he said with a smile.

"Not a chance. Everything is settled and I'm ready. Harrison is the one taking forever," she rolled her eyes. "I can help you," she said, getting into his room, and sitting in his bed. "What are your choices?" she asked.

"I don't have any," he scratched his neck, a little embarrassed.

"I think I know what to do," she said, getting up and going through his closet. "It will be simple..." she said, picking up a black pair of jeans and throwing at him. "But very cute..." she picked a black shirt.

"How can a black shirt with a black pair of jeans be cute?" he asked, looking at the clothes she gave him.

"Please..." she rolled her eyes. "You'll look cute," she picked a black cardigan, that he rarely used, and gave it to him. "And will match with the maid of honor, cause she's wearing black too," she finally gave him a white sneaker and a pair of glasses that he liked to use as a fashion statement.

"I'll match the maid of honor?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Perfectly!" Anna said with a happy smile.

Tom looked at the ground. "I talked to her yesterday," he said, putting the clothes on the bed before Anna could leave.

"And?" Anna said expectantly.

"I was just telling her she didn't need to talk to me today if she didn't want to. But, she said she was okay talking to me," his shrug was trying to sound like he didn't care, but his smile was showing the truth.

"I think you two will work things out," Anna said with a smile, leaning in the doorway.

"I hope so. I miss her so much, it's physically painful sometimes," he confessed with a sad voice.

"I know. I'm rooting for you," Anna said, going to him, and giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he said, and she smiled, leaving him alone.

Soon, the house was getting crowded. The backyard was decorated with fairy lights and wooden furniture. The waiters and waitresses walked around the house, serving beer and pizza.

Tom tried to distract himself, talking to as many people as he could. His mom, dad, and brothers were there since they were practically Harrison's family. His mom was feeling his son's anxiety.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him.

"Great," he said, but his voice sounded anxious. He kept moving his weight from one foot to another. "She'll be here soon," he said.

"I know. And you'll let her be. Otherwise, you'll scare her," she said.

"Yeah...sure," he agreed. He glanced at the door as he did at least fifty times in the last hour, and for his surprise, this time you were there, taking off your jacket, revealing the black floral dress Anna said you would wear. And you two were matching. Tom's smile grew wilder unconsciously. You talked to some guests that were inside the house and then went outside, joining Anna and Harrison. You looked like an angel. Tom couldn't believe he survived all this time away from you. You looked at him for a second, and he saw Anna whispering something to you. You smiled, widely, and Tom felt like he had won the night.

You walked toward him, going to talk to his family. You didn't see Nikki for so long. You missed drinking tea with her, talking about your life, asking for advice.

"Hey, Ms. Holland," you greeted her.

"Hi, sweetie. Long time, no see,' she said, hugging you.

"Yeah. I was...busy," you said, looking at Tom for a split second and then to her again.

"I imagined. How is everything going? College. Work. Life?" she asked.

"Pretty much the same. I meant to call you a few times in the last months, but I didn't wanna bother you," you said sincerely. You really thought about calling and talking to her.

"Don't be silly. I would've loved talking to you," she said with a kind smile. "Let's have lunch this week. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much," you said, relieved that she didn't hate you after all the drama.

"Dom, look who is here," she said, calling her husband's attention. He said goodbye to the person he was talking to, engaging in conversation with you two. Sometimes your eyes met Tom's, and he noticed a sparkle in them every time you did. He didn't say anything while you were talking to his parents. He didn't want to upset you. "If you excuse us, darling, we're gonna talk to some friends," Nikki said, caressing your arm.

"Sure, go ahead," you said with a smile. They left, and it was just you and Tom.

"Hi," he said softly, trying to contain his excitement.

"Hey," you said, scratching the label of the bottle you were holding, anxiously.

"You look really good," he said, drinking a sip of his beer after.

"Thanks. You too," you were avoiding his eyes.

"Anna helped me choose this," he pointed to his clothes.

"It looks good," you smiled, finally looking in his eyes.

Tom couldn't hold it anymore. His mind wanted to keep it cool, but his mouth was faster. "I miss you. Everyday," he said. You looked at him, and all your worries were dead. All you could think was how much you missed him and how much you wanted him back in your life.

"I..." you started.

"Okay, everyone...it's toast time," Anna said clinking her glass with a fork. You and Tom looked at each other. Tom was afraid he had ruined his only chance. You were sad cause you couldn't tell him you missed him too.

"I'll go first," Harrison said, and some people cheered. "So...Anna. What can I talk about Anna?" he joked. "I'm kidding. I'll just say that the first time Y/N brought you around," he looked at you, raising his bottle, and you smiled. "That day, I knew I would marry you. I didn't say anything cause we were all friends, and I didn't want to scare you. But then, we were watching England's game at the 2018 World Cup, and when we lost, you cried. At that moment, I knew I had do something to make you mine, cause we were made for each other. Two months later I asked you out, and we started dating. Now I'm happy to say that we're gonna cry over the English team together, forever," he said the last part, looking at her. Everyone around cheered and applauded them and Anna gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Anna said, taking a step forward. She was a showoff. "Are you ready to cry?" she asked, looking at him, and he smiled, nodding. I thought I would never find someone that I loved enough to ignore their flaws and accept spending my life with them. Unlike from you, when we first met, I thought great eyes, great body," she laughed, looking at him. "We could be friends. I mean, Tom and Y/N were always together. It wasn't like we could ignore each other," she said, and you and Tom looked at each other. A bit of sadness in your eyes, thinking about how that part wasn't true anymore. "But then, I got to meet you better, I started to see your flaws, and yet, dislike you wasn't an option even if I tried. My grandma always said 'we like because...we love despite...' I like you because you're nice to me, you are my best friend and you always search for me in a room when someone tells something funny, just to see my reaction. And I love you despite you being the last one to get ready, your gym schedule, and all the times you yell 'Wonderwall' in my ear, even though you know I hate this song," she finished. Her eyes were glistening with tears, just like everybody else. It took a few seconds for people to start cheering and clapping them. Harrison hugged her, with a wide and bright smile.

"Great speech," you said, going to her and Harrison, and hugging them. Tom following right behind you.

"I almost cried again," Tom said, hugging Harrison.

"Almost?" Anna asked, her thumbs brushing the corner of his eyes, cleaning a tear that threatened to fall.

"It was a really good speech," he defended himself.

"Thanks," she smiled. "We're gonna talk to...some people. We see you guys later?" she said holding your hand, and you and Tom nodded.

"We're gonna eat something," he said, resting his hand on your lower back, and they left. "Can we talk?" he asked, once Harrison and Anna left.

 "Yeah, sure!" you said, and he noticed the anxiety in your voice. At least he wasn't the only one that was afraid.

He walked to his room, opening the door so you could go in first. You walked to the window, looking at the party that was happening downstairs.

"It looks really good from here," you said. "They are so happy," you smiled, watching Harrison and Anna dance together.

"I'm happy to see you," he said, cutting you off. "I've missed you. Everyone did," his hands were in his pockets, and he was trying to stay calm even though his heart was loud in his ear.

"I missed everyone too. It was good to see your mom," you said, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress. The room went silent. Tom didn't wanna push you, but he wanted to be with you and talk like before. Maybe he didn't think this through. The only noise was the music from the party. "I'm sorry," you said, taking a step forward, and Tom looked at you, waiting. You were nervous. "I'm sorry for pushing you away the way I did," your voice was heavy. "We were both sad and broken-hearted, and I was selfish. I only thought about the pain I was feeling. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings," you said, and Tom felt his heart beating faster. He never thought about that night this way. He always thought about how much pain he caused you and how guilty he was feeling.

"I should've talked to you. I was so focused on the reasons why we couldn't be together," Tom said, taking a step in your direction. "I never thought about the reasons why we could," he confessed. These last three months he thought a lot about what he did wrong, and not talking to you sooner, giving you the chance to decide if you two could work, was his biggest mistake. "I was a coward. With you, with me, with that girl," his voice was trembling. "And I regret every day for what I did," he finished. You were looking at him, and your expression was unreadable. Even for him, that knew you for half of his life.

"I love you, and I," you started, but then you stopped. Your eyes blinking heavily. "I love you," you repeated after a few seconds, touching your lips with your fingers, looking away from him. It was like you could touch every word. "I...I love you!" you said like you just realized that. You had told him that before, but you were so hurt that you never let yourself feel that completely. Now, standing here, with nothing in your way, that was all you could feel. "I love you..." you smiled, looking at Tom that still had a lost look in his face. "I love you!" you said one last time like you were declaring your feelings for him.

Without giving you a chance to say it again, Tom walked the two steps that were keeping you apart, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you. It was urgent and frantic at first, but then you felt your heart slowing down and it was like the entire world was in slow motion. Your hand went to his waist, holding his sweater, while his fingers tangled in your hair, one of his hands holding your neck, deepening, even more, the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered against your lips, breaking the kiss. He smiled, looking into your eyes. "And I really think we should go on a date."

~

1 year and 7 months later...

"Lunch is ready," Sam called from the kitchen, and soon footsteps and a door closing were heard upstairs.

"Y/N! You're cheating!" Tom yelled.

"Stop whining. I just closed the door!" you yelled back, running down the stair.

"Racing again?" Sam asked, seeing you enter the kitchen breathless.

"He said he would clean the room if I won," you shrugged. You yelped, feeling Tom lifting you up by the waist. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" you yelled. 

"You cheated!" he said, carrying you to the backyard and locking you out. He pointed and laughed at you through the glass door.

"I can't believe you are doing this. Let me in. I'm hungry!" you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"If you wanna get in you'll have to do three things first," he said.

"They are being idiots again?" Harry asked entering the kitchen and seeing you two.

"What's going on?" Harrison asked, and Harry pointed to the glass door.

"Idiots," Anna said sitting on a chair around the dinner table.

"What three things?" you asked.

"First, you'll apologize for cheating," he said and you rolled your eyes. "Second, you'll help me clean the room. And third," he put his hand on his pocket, taking out a black velvet box. He opened the box, revealing a ring, and your eyes grew wider, noticing what was happening. "Marry me?" he said, and you covered your mouth in shock, just like everyone else behind him.

"Yes!" you said, feeling your eyes burning. "Yesyesyes!" you repeated, nodding frantically, while he opened the door, pulling you into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[theetangerine]

What it’s real like being a Dyslexic

Today's  post shall be about Dyslexia from  "Dyslexia the Gift". Well I didn't know that I was blessed with such an omnipotent power. Thank you Dyslexia the Gift for Awakening my abilities. Anyways this post is just my rebuttal to this list as an Anthropomorphic Tangerine with severe dyslexia. Here we go: General:

1. Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Ahhhhh.......... so I am all those big words that I can't spell or pronounce.

BTW who ever came up with the word Dyslexia is a troll cause you knew damn well I can't spell that.

2. Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, “not trying hard enough,” or “behavior problem.”

Hey I am not lazy just because Suzie spends her the night figuring out Algebra questions and I on the other hand will look at her formula, "Copy and Paste" for myself and even then at the end of the day I stilled will have learned it. Einstein did say there are different types of genius.

3.Isn’t “behind enough” or “bad enough” to be helped in the school setting.

Let's just pretend it didn't take me 3 times to read this inorder to understand it. Anywhose.

The school suggested to my parents to take me to get tested. Although I think it was because they wanted justify their discrimination against me.

 4.   High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Lies. I failed in both.

5.Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

*clear throat* In best Beyonce voice "I'm survivor................"

6.Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

 Ohh.......come on I suppose to be talented in these fields why didn't Dyslexia tell me this.

7.Seems to “Zone out” or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

They were in the Zone like in Soul

woahh..... that was a bar.

8.Difficulty sustaining attention; seems “hyper” or “daydreamer.”

 As I type this I peer out through the window wondering if clouds really are made of precipitation or that is what the Illuminati wants you to think.

 9. Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Crash Course history is my religion.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling:

10.Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

 Starts going in the 4th dimension if I pick up a book.  

11.Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Algebra is not for dyslexics. You mix letters and numbers together. Mathematicians were not thinking of dyslexics when Algebra was created.

 12. Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Yes Yes . Truly feal for all of of my teacher who read my essays.

13.Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

I am Percy Jackson so I am a god.

 14.Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don’t reveal a problem.

 I actually had glasses.

15.Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Yet another sentence I can't understand. Hold up let me go and look up “depth perception” so I can understand this sentence, real quick.........................This is true.  

 16.Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Reading number fifteen (15) proves this.

 17.Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

 Hooked on Phonics told me otherwise.

Hearing and Speech:

18.Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Being an only child while being home alone this ability doesn't have any benefits.

 19.Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

 I feel called out.

Writing and Motor Skills:

20.Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

 I may have changed my writing style multiple times. Some legible, some not.

 21.Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

But if I am supposed to be talented at sports in the afro-mention point why can't I catch a ball.

Dyslexia being confused since 1877.

 22.Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Yip...A 20 something that doesn't know their left from their right.

 Math and Time Management:

23.Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Well if I can't tell time I can't manage my time thus I don't have enough time to do tasks so that is why I am never on time.

 24.Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can’t do it on paper.

 Only if Math exam were oral I would have accolades in Math.

 25.Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

 Y'all I have nightmares about being a cashier.  

 26.Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

As I said before Algebra not, for dyslexics.

Memory and Cognition:

27:Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

I wish could forget about that time I fell down in front the entire school. And yes this is not an exaggeration. The ENTIRE school saw this.  

28.Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Subjects dyslexics shouldn't do:

Science: too many big words you can't spell.

History or Literature: reading is detrimental to your health.

Math:  A-L-G-E-B-R-A

 29.Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Sad truth I wear my heart on my sleeves. It's fricking annoying cause I want to be mad in peace without anyone knowing Goddamn it .

 Behavior, Health, Development, and Personality: 

30.Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

I am Death the Kid.

(If you don't get that reference you are uncultured)

 31.Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Like I was disliked in school for being too quiet. You would think that it was students oh no no no Patricia it was teachers.

Sorry Mrs. Emily for not giving you grey hairs, so you have the opportunity to go home to your loving husband to complain about how much you hate your job and kids. While you thinking about your affair with the young nextdoor neighbour, who you would end up marrying only to then leave them for a hot 20 yea.............................Ummmm that got a bit personal there lets continue shall we  

32.Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

 It took a while to learn how to tie my laces.

 33.Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

So wait not only did Dyslexia inhibit my ability to read, comprehend and to tell my right from my left to function normally in society but it caused my ear infections too. That is it I'm done

Moving to Siberia.

 34.Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

 I was a very well trained tangerine.

 35.Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Everytime I stub my pinky toes it feels like an aeroplane wheel rolled over it.

36.Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

 Facts!

37.Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor     health.

2 second Rant

Examiners don't think of dyslexic people, even with extra time. The sheer amount of times it takes just to understand the question then to answer with the best possible Grammar is straight cruelty.

You automatically want me to fail and not finish don't you.

You Demon.

  Mini sidestory:

While writing this I asked my significant other to spell "Exaggerate", dude looked at me and told me to sound it out. Past me knew he was going to say this and I did sound it out  before he asked me to sound it out. I told him that I did and that I don't know what letter comes after "Ex", he was like babe sound it out..................................

Tangerine internal thoughts: (Exsqueeze me) Every time try that a ""H" is coming up in my head. I thought this through ya know.

In conclusion I sound it out to my phone.

 To anyone who don't understand Dyslexia fully I do suggest researching.  

My commentary is completely subjective but if you relate that is good :)

 That's all my Fruits until next time

- TheeTangerine

Proof read by TheeApple<3

https://www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/test-for-dyslexia-37-signs/

[soundsof71]

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Jangly Women: A Spotify Playlist Based On A Tumblr Tag

So anyway, your pal and mine @niterunner​ tagged me to name 10 songs by 10 different bands, and rather than agonize over this for somewhere between 2 and 7 years (the average length of time it takes me to respond to these tag games), and when I finally answer reply with 56 songs instead of 10, I’m going the opposite way.

Instead of 10, I’m doing FIVE songs that I’ve recently pulled up for no particular reason, other than it’s summer as I write this, and summer means harmonies and HOOKS. I like my summer harmonies and hooks mid-tempo, with jangly guitars, thanks, so here ya go.

Why five? Because that’s how many videos tumblr will let me embed in one post. I’m including YouTube clips because I’m afraid that not enough of y’all know these songs. You really need to hear ‘em, and I don’t want your lack of access to Spotify to stand in the way. 

Also, for once, I didn’t need to go into the depths of my archives to scrape up every detail. I happened to remember the stories for these off the top of my head, and in keeping with the summery, jangly, theme of these tracks, have kept ‘em short. For once.

And as I’ve mentioned before, regardless of what I blog, I mostly listen to contemporary women. I’ve been adding the tag “new classics” to some of these artists and songs as I’m not able to keep them off my blog any longer. LOL 

It’s not that I don’t listen to dudes at all, but in general, my advice is to pay less attention to men and more attention to women. 

(Says the man with his latest 1000 word essay. LOL Sorry. Listen to these songs, though, and let’s call it square.)

Any one of these songs might change your life. They’ve each changed mine.

Hole, Boys On The Radio (1998) I’m sure that you’re a lovely person, and I know that the universe is better for having you in it, but let’s be honest: none of us will ever do enough good in our lives to be worthy of Hole’s first three albums. I’m grateful to accept them for the gifts that they are, and to dedicate my life to trying to live up to the grace, wisdom, and hooks they contain.

There are days when I’d pick a couple of other tracks from album #3, Celebrity Skin, to name as my favorite, but “Boys On The Radio” is the one that inspired me to make this playlist. Jangle out the wazoo, and harmonies to the skies.

In your endless summer night I’ll be on the other side When the water is too deep I will ease your suffering

Linda Ronstadt, I Can’t Let Go (1980) The version of this song by The Hollies that I first heard in 1966 knocked me flat on my ass, but Linda’s version landed on me like an atom bomb. The third single from her 1980 smash album Mad Love, it peaked at #3 on the Billboard singles chart.

The album as a whole set some mad records at the time: the highest-ever chart debut for an album by a woman at #5, and her seventh million-seller in a row, the first woman to do that too. (Heck, she was the first woman to have THREE in a row. She’d go on to make it 9 in a row, and 11 out of 12.) Mad Love also deserves its own essay, which will follow. Someday. LOL

It’s crazy to me that in her autobiography she pretty much brushes aside the entire decade of the 70s by saying that all she remembers is that she didn’t think her voice was good enough. INSANE, I tell you, but there’s no question that she took a HUGE step up here in 1980. This and the previous single from Mad Love, “Hurt So Bad”, rank in my mind as some of the strongest vocals that any human has ever laid to wax. 

Plenty of other killers on the album too. It’s my favorite of hers by a mile – but the jangle keeps pulling me back here.

Heck, with the multitracking on “I Can’t Let Go” alone, she’s got a solid half dozen of the best vocal performances of all time! 

September Gurls, The Bangles (1986) The Bangles are a band with four lead vocalists, and this one is bassist Michael Steele’s high point. She’s the one who’d been pestering the rest of the group to record this Big Star cover, but have mercy, when they decided she was right, did they ever step up. The Big Star version is okaaaay, but this one is definitive. Susanna Hoff’s Rickenbacker here is one of my favorite guitar parts of all time, and Michael’s vocal is perfection.

I’ve been working on a whole essay about this one song, its making, and various versions of it over the years, so I’ll stop here for now….but this is AMAZING.

Alien With A Sleep Mask On, Ratboys (2020) I’ve been a fan of Julia Steiner and Ratboys for years, going back to their origins as a duo with Dave Sagan. Rolling up as a four-piece in 2020, their album Printer’s Devil is a major leap up. Wall to wall hooks and harmonies, this album is a winner from start to finish that’s going to end up on any sane list of the year’s best. This is the song I keep coming back to, though, no doubt about it.

Like a lot of gorgeous, jangly songs, including the ones on this list, there’s an underlying sadness here. Julia herself is the alien, having a hard time reconciling herself to the choices she’s making….again. 

Hooks to burn here, y’all. 

Bleached, Somebody Dial 911 (2019) Bleached were definitely my favorite discovery of 2019, but they’ve been around a lot longer than that: their first singles were in 2011, and their first album in 2013. I’m still making my way back through their discography, which is taking longer than it might because I just can’t stop listening to this 2019′s Don’t You Think You’ve Had Enough?.

The strummy hooks on "Somebody Dial 911″ remind me of The Cure’s “Friday I’m In Love” (which I get the feeling is intentional – see what you think). Like that one, the jangle, hooks, and harmonies mask an emotional intensity and a bit of danger that’s easy to miss if you’re just listening to the hooks and adding your voice to the irresistible chorus. 

This was the first album that sisters Jennifer and Jesse Clavin wrote and recorded while both were sober, and the clarity they’ve gained binds boldness to vulnerability. When Jen sings “I’ve got to get out of here,” you’ll feel it to the depths of your soul. 

It’s already one of my favorite songs of all time by anyone, which is why I mostly listen to new music. Who knows which new all-time favorites are out there waiting for me?

Somebody dial 911 Before I fall in love I always fall in love, oh no

The perfect jangly summer bop for people trying to keep their shit together for just one more day, playing for keeps in four four time. 

Hey you, reading this! Consider yourself tagged! And look for me on Spotify, @metropolitim. Let me know you’re there, and I’ll follow you too!

And hey, no worries if you’re following me just for pretty pictures of rock stars! Blacklist the “essay” tag, and you’re home free! 

[bush-viper-cutie]

“Slytherin Vs. Ravenclaw” || YEAR 3 – Ch.24 (HP au)

                              Chapter List

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Day posted: 9/29/2020

Word count: 3,463

Relationship: EVENTUAL severus X oc (slow burn)

Rating: E for everyone

Warnings: none

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A/N: This is my first fan fic I’m writing mainly as a way to practice. This is a retelling of the hp books with an inserted character. Although most every character will be written about, this is mostly for the pro snape fandom. Please do not fear, although this is a severus x oc story, it is an incredibly slow burn as I do not intend for them to get together at all until after the final book events. Chapters will be posted twice a week.

This derivative work follows the events of the Harry Potter books by Jk Rowling and is intended as a fun way to practice my writing. Thank you for reading :D

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Heather was pacing the common room, sweat dripping down her forehead. Her eyes kept darting back to her dark arts book, and at the essay flattened on top of it.

“Werewolf,” she kept muttering. “No.” She shook her head but her eyes darted back. Could Professor Lupin be a werewolf? Surely he wouldn’t have been allowed to… be around them if he was? “That’s silly,” she responded to herself. He wasn’t a threat. He wasn’t going to just bite down on the first student he saw. He hadn’t all year.

But the text rattled around her head very clearly. ‘They’re instincts took over easily…’, ‘Humanity slips from their minds…’, ‘Aggressive creatures…’, the text made it seem like Professor Lupin could just lose himself at any moment, especially near a full moon and most certainly on the nights of.

Her eyes widened and she ran into her room and opened up the moon chart they’d been given. To keep Harry safe, she’d need to memorize the moon’s cycles for the rest of the year… and the next one… and the next one. She sighed, hating having to add what seemed like a chore to her list of priorities. She hoped there wasn’t limited amount of space a brain could hold; she didn’t want to be wasting that space with what days the moon would be full. “There’s probably a potion for more headspace,” she grumbled, trying to convince herself to take on the task.

She folded up the moon chart and stuffed it in her skirt, walking back to the common room. Do the teachers know? Professor Snape seemed to know, or why else would he have acted so weird about her keeping her essay? He must have wanted her to figure it out, as a warning.

Was that why he assigned the essay to the whole class? As a warning for everyone? She picked up her essay and marched out of the common room and knocked on his office. It was very early in the morning, she remembered, and pulled her hand back.

She’d woken up in a cold sweat with the realization, so drenched she took an immediate shower and went through the chapter, going over symptoms and thinking back to Professor Lupin’s condition that seemed to get better and then worse every month so far. And he drank a potion for it… That had been a big indicator… The text had mentioned wolfsbane potion, a very difficult potion to make, but one Professor Snape was skilled enough to brew.

The door opened suddenly and Heather jumped back, surprised Professor Snape had been awake to hear her knocks. He was looking like he hadn’t heard her though, looking just as surprised to see her at his door as she was to see him awake. He was already dressed and everything. Did he wake this early every day?

“Potter.”

His cold voice forced her out of her head.

He looked down at her essay, gripped tightly in her hand and stepped back, opening the door further, as if inviting her in.

“Professor – ”

“Inside.”

She ducked under his arm and took a seat in a chair, placing the essay in her lap and pulled on her sweater, wiping her sweat from her palms. She waited for him to take a seat in his chair before starting, trying not to stumble over her words. “I-is… I mean… might there be a chance… Are w…err” She couldn’t bring herself to just say it. What if she was over-reacting? It’d be very embarrassing, and she could imagine him laugh at her or mentioning it during classes.

“What is your question, Miss Potter.” Professor Snape looked at her intensely for some reason, his eyebrows furrowed together, his whole posture looked completely attentive to her and oddly eager. His hands gripped each other with a force that made his knuckles unusually paler.

She swallowed. “Is Professor Lupin a werewolf?” It came out as a breath but loud enough for him to hear, and yet he didn’t respond. Only looked at her, his tongue running over his teeth under his closed lips as if in contemplation. She realized he might not be allowed to confirm such a thing if Professor Dumbledore was aware of Professor Lupin’s condition already and made it a rule. But then… Was it a big deal if he was a werewolf? If Professor Dumbledore already knew? Was Harry safe to have private lessons with him then?

“Is this a safety concern?” Professor Snape spoke suddenly, as if gasping at a sudden chance.

Heather thought for a moment. She didn’t want to imply she thought she was unsafe – or that anyone was unsafe – around him. “N-no…”

Professor Snape knit his brows together again and sighed. Then raised an eyebrow and sat back, finally relaxed. “Potter, who else have you told of your little theory?”

“No one!” she said instantly. He looked agitated, as if she’d just foiled another plan of his. She could tell he was trying to work different angles. She wanted to smile then, never having imagined him such a good actor before, obviously trying to work some way around a rule. Did he want her to say she had? So he could yell at her about it, accidently letting it slip to her that it was true? If anything his actions now already confirmed it for her.

He chewed on his bottom lip, staring at his quill when she burst out laughing, drawing his attention to her.

She shook her head, trying to cover her fit of giggles. “I’m sorry, Professor.” She stood up and walked towards the cauldron sitting on his back table by the fire. She calmed herself and poked her head in, breathing deeply. It smelled awful, indicating it’d taste awful too, like Wolfsbane is said to. She looked around at the ingredients and pointed at the leaves and stems piled together.

“Are these poisonous?” She looked back at him and he nodded. “Are the petals that pertain to these stems purple?” Again he nodded. She turned back and couldn’t find any more ingredients lying about. She turned and walked back to her seat. “Then that’s aconite – or wolfsbane – and in that cauldron you made Wolfsbane potion.” She decided she’d form everything as a statement, forcing him to either correct her or silently confirm she is correct.

“Well done, Potter.” There wasn’t any sarcasm in his voice. “You’ve correctly identified the potion I made.”

There was a weird elation felt in her stomach at his praise. “And you make that for Professor Lupin every month. Because he’s a werewolf.”

Professor Snape doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t correct her. “You’ve told no one else?” He seemed doubtful and a little surprised.

Heather shook her head and stood, grabbing her essay. She should leave before he was forced to tell her not to tell anyone else. “Thank you, Professor.” She headed out the door and closed it shut, smiling. She’d gotten her answer. Her smile dropped. Professor Lupin was indeed a werewolf.

Professor Snape’s office door opened again and she ran back to her common room, folding up her essay and put all her books away. She paced the common room, debating. She decided she wasn’t worried, since Professor Snape already knew about it and so must the rest of the staff, meaning Professor Lupin must be of no threat to any student. But should she still tell anyone? What if it caused unnecessary panic? Should she tell at least tell Harry?

There was a knock on the door and she went to open it. Hermione was standing there wiping tears from her eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

Hermione sniffed. “They’re not talking to us.”

She raised a brow. “‘Us’?”

Hermione crossed her arms and huffed. “Well we both did tell McGonagall together.”

Heather accompanied Hermione down to the library, though she was mad at her too. There was a reason she didn’t want to be there when Harry got his broom taken. She didn’t want to be in a fight with him. She wanted to not talk to Hermione either, for dragging her into it, but she was her best friend and she couldn’t leave her all alone.

The fight continued for the rest of the break. Hermione and her went to the library every day and during every meal, Ron and Harry refused to even look at them. She understood their anger and wanted to tell them it was all Hermione’s idea, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t go along with it. She should have said no to her. At least then it wouldn’t be just Draco with a firebolt that she’d told him to buy.

Luckily she was spared the guilt, because Draco came back with a Nimbus two-thousand-and-one thinking he was going to beat Harry’s Nimbus two-thousand.

“Potter!” Draco yelled at her from across the common room.

She poked her head out from behind her book and watched him stride over to her.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner!”

She scoffed and set her book aside, not bothering to stand. “I told you the very hour he opened it.”

Marcus was making his way to them as well, either curious about what Draco was screaming about or ready to split up his team members, should need arise.

He avoided the fact she didn’t know Harry’d be getting a broom and continued yelling at her. “My Father had already got me this broom,” – he waved his nimbus around – “and so when I asked him for a firebolt he refused!”

It was good to know even Mr. Malfoy knew just how far he’d go to spoil Draco and how far he wouldn’t.

Marcus frowned. “A firebolt? Who has a firebolt?”

Heather stood. “Ha – ”

“Harry Potter of course!” Draco threw down his nimbus and let go of his trunk, letting it thunk loudly.

Marcus glared at her. “Why didn’t you tell him sooner?”

“Because it was sent anonymously and we didn’t know what it was until he opened it! I owled Draco as soon as I could – which Harry doesn’t know I did – and besides! He got it taken away… And I’m not sure when he’ll get it back or if he will at all.” She crossed her arms and glared back at Marcus.

Marcus shifted his gaze to the numbus two-thousand-and-one on the ground. “Don’t throw your broom. Right now that’s the fastest broom in the school – if Potter doesn’t get his broom back. We’ll just have to hope he never does… We play Ravenclaw in a week. Practices are twice daily now. Get in you uniforms, we practice now.”

Marcus stormed away, leaving Draco and Heather looking after him in disbelief. Practice twice daily? First practice is now? They headed their separate ways and met back up, uniforms on, ready to head down to the Quidditch field.

On their walk down with the team, she spotted Harry and Ron walking towards the stairs and waved at them. Having not talked to them for a week and she hoped the start of term meant they’d set the fight aside, but they ignored her waving hand and headed up. She pulled her hand back and crossed her arms.

“Looks like someone’s getting the cold shoulder,” Draco chuckled. “Who cares. Maybe now you’ll be spending time with your own people.”

Heather raised her brow. “My own people?”

“Us. Potter. Your house, or do you not consider Slytherins to be – ”

“Of course I do.” She didn’t really consider different houses to be different people, but she knew that wasn’t the correct answer. “I just thought you meant halfbloods or something.”

He nodded. “Well those too, I guess. But only from our house.”

Practice was hard that day. Although she’d kept up her exercise routine up, trying her very hardest to grow what little muscle she had, it hadn’t been enough and her whole body was sore, needing to be re-accustomed to the Quidditch drills she normally did.

By the end of the week she was just as sore as the first day, but Marcus had given them the day off the day before the Ravenclaw match and now, morning of, she was feeling a bit better. She sat next to Draco and her team, holding her shoulder and moving her arm around trying to crack it. It was breakfast and the Gryffindors were all sitting quietly in their tables, probably secretly wishing the Slytherins would lose this match. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were all very clearly rooting against Slytherins – despite Slytherins rooting for Hufflepuffs when they played Gryffindor.

She nodded at everything Marcus said over breakfast but found her gaze kept wandering to the Gryffindor table, where Harry and Ron were sitting facing her but avoiding looking in her direction, keeping their heads down low. Hermione was on the other side, alone but at least she smiled and held up thumbs of encouragement for her.

“Let’s head out.” Marcus led them outside.

It was a clear day, cold, but not raining or dark with storm clouds. In the locker room Marcus went over the plays against Ravenclaw and told them they’d win as long as they stuck to the plan.

“They’re tricky, those Ravenclaws. They’ll have numerous counter attacks ready, but we’ll be relentless and unyielding. Win at any cost, and don’t get us disqualified.” He watched everyone nod. “Malfoy. Catch that Snitch.”

Draco smirked, “I will. I’ve been practicing with an actual Snidget at home.”

Heather refrained from informing him Snitches are faster than those little golden birds and nodded at him instead. They headed out on the low cut grass and heard the stadium roar at the Ravenclaws who came out at the same time. Both teams glared at each other as they mounted their brooms and touched off the ground.

Madam Hooch walked down with the chest of balls and took out the Quaffle, flying up to their level, ready to throw it up at her whistle. The second the ball left her hand, all six Chasers charged forward, arms extended.

Heather ducked under a Ravenclaw’s arm and managed to gain distance towards the hoop, hoping Marcus or Graham had grabbed hold of it. They had.

“MONTAGUE’S IN POSSESSION!”

Graham threw it forward while Marcus cut off the Ravenclaws, making them pull back on their broom handles to avoid collision.

Heather’s cheeks flushed as she caught it, heart pounding to be the first with the chance to score for her team. She pushed it under her arm and flew forward as fast as she could manage, knowing Graham and the Ravenclaws were close behind. This wasn’t a decided play they had practiced or memorized, but she knew Marcus was too far behind to throw to, and Graham was likely at the Ravenclaw Chasers’ levels and too risky to throw to. It was all on her.

A Bludger came her way and she flipped on her broom, swinging back around just narrowly missing it, keeping on her path. She narrowed her eyes against the wind and analyzed the Ravenclaw Keeper, seeing him ready to dart to any direction she indicated. Last time they played she was able to fake the direction she threw it, and guessed it wouldn’t work a second time.

The cold wind blew her ponytail back and as she lifted her arm to throw the Quaffle, she turned her head to the hoop her broom wasn’t aimed towards but threw true, tricking the Keeper for a split second long enough for the Quaffle to bounce off his fingertips as he dove forward, letting the Quaffle through the hoop with pathetic force.

“POTTER’S MADE THE FIRST POINTS OF THE MATCH FOR SLYTHERIN!”

Ravenclaws evened it out within the next minute, matching their score. The game went on for an hour, and every time Slytherin scored, so did Ravenclaw. Their plays were clean and precise, well-rehearsed and thought through. Graham, Marcus, and her, however, didn’t let their Chasers get away with anything tricky. If Ravenclaw scored, it was due to speed and luck on their part that Graham and Marcus didn’t bump them off course.

The sun had almost reached its peak in the sky when Marcus turned to Draco, who was currently chasing the Snitch. Both teams had two-hundred points and beyond exhausted, realizing it was all up to the Seekers if the game was ever going to end.

Heather flew under Marcus and below two Ravenclaw Chasers. Marcus dropped the Quaffle and followed his motion up, pretending the ball was still in his hand and he was throwing it to Graham. Heather caught it and leaned forward, picking up speed. She pulled up as Marcus stopped in his tracks, trying to trip up the Chasers again, hoping to collide with them, but they split off like a river and came back together, chasing her down. She got close to the middle hoop, knowing she’d smack right into the Keeper and threw the Quaffle up to Graham who had kept following from above. The third Chaser came up from the side, fist extended ready to punch the Quaffle out of Graham’s hands and into the other two Chasers’, but Graham dropped it before he could, allowing Heather to catch it once more.

The crowd was growing louder, and she knew Draco must be close to capturing the Snitch. She was second from smacking into the Keeper, knowing he wasn’t moving because he was hoping she’d do just that. It was a penalty to go through the same hoops as the Quaffle and double penalty to take the opposing team’s keeper with you. She turned her broom and readied her body to smack into him shoulder first, and pushed the Quaffle with the inside of her elbow, bumping it into the right-most hoop as she crashed into the Keeper, falling through the middle one. The only distance between her and the Quaffle, had been the metal of the two hoops touching, and as she crashed into the Keeper, her broom’s handle struck the metal and bucked her off.

“POTTER SCORES AND – MALFOY’S CAUGHT THE SNITCH! SLYTHERINS WIN BY ONE-HUNDRED-SIXTY POINTS!”

She fell onto the sand with a rough splash, sending some into the air and in her open mouth as she gasped for breath. She sat up, coughing. Hermione was there in an instant, helping her up.

“I can’t believe – You could have gotten hurt – And hurt the Keeper as well! Not to mention gotten a penalty!” Hermione pulled Heather up, shaking her head. She backed away as Marcus touched down beside her.

He was smiling and slapped Heather’s back hard. “So you have some Slytherin in you after all. Good job. We’ll work on your tackling for when we play Gryffindors… If we do,” he looked at Hermione and growled at her, laughing at her jump, and walked towards Draco who was waving the Snitch around in the air.

“Will you really be tackling people now?” Hermione had a disapproving stare, but softened when she noticed Heather’s eyes.

Heather was looking at the exiting crowd, Harry and Ron among them. “I’ve just fallen fifteen feet and made a crater in the sand with my body on impact… and they don’t even care to see if I’m alright.”

Hermione crossed her arms and stared across the field at them as they exited. They only looked back at them once. Hermione walked with her to the broom shed and together walked into Hogwarts and split off for a late lunch.

Heather sat next to her team, who all still had their uniforms on, and smiled as Slytherins congratulated her, impressed with her final move. For once she felt like the center of attention that had nothing to do with being Harry’s sister, and she loved it. Pansy sat next to and helped wipe sand from her sweaty forehead with a napkin. Heather tried very hard not to laugh at her.

She looked up to the High Table by accident and spotted Professor Lupin holding a goblet up, silently toasting her victory. There weren’t many teachers at the table – there were always less during breakfast and lunch than during dinner – and so it was easy to also spot Professor Snape on the far side, looking to Professor Lupin and to her, narrowing his eyes.

She turned back and just barely missed Harry’s eyes; he had turned down to his food quickly. She felt angry inside. It wasn’t fair that Harry was mad at her. He should be grateful she even cared to look out for him with his mysterious and possibly deadly broom. She decided she wouldn’t tell him about Professor Lupin being a werewolf and got up to go shower. He could figure it out for himself.

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[majorshiraharu]

Personal Ramble - Feel free to ignore

Honestly, didn’t have the best day, despite not getting out of bed till like 1pm I still had to join in on lunch. I also had to eat a type of German apple desert so my throat was swollen for over an hour and I’ve just felt sick the rest of the day. I’m allergic to most fruits, but my mom gets extremely angry if I don’t eat what she makes, so I just take allergy meds and gotta eat it anyway because I don’t want to be yelled at. 

And when we were supposed to say what we were thankful for, my mom said the years she had with me before I got ill, so yeah, it sucked. She couldn’t even go one day without putting me down, not even for a holiday.... ugh.

Anyway, on a happier note, I’m thankful for everyone here. When I joined tumblr a few months back, I never thought I’d find so many amazing, talented, supportive and loving people. The support on here is really special and I’m thankful to be just a small part of it. I wish I had more energy, so I could interact with everyone, because I love you all and I want you to know that. <(’.’<) 

I’m thankful for my dad and brother because without their support I wouldn’t have a place to live, medical care or anything. And I’m thankful for my best friend who has always been there for me, even if I didn’t talk much. She got diagnosed with cancer a year after I got ill and both of us were still young and going to college. Sharing those experiences around the same time and having it affect our lives so similarly was strange, but also comforting to know I wasn’t alone. 

Last but not least, I’m thankful for the people I’ve been able to help in any way, or bring joy to this year. It means a lot to know that there are people I’ve had a positive impact on, especially during 2020.

This is a little more personal and sad at times, so warning about sad stuff and me talking about shitty people in my life, but I wanted to share this. Also, it let me have a good cry about the things I keep trying to repress. I made sure to end it on a cheerful note though because tldr; this blog has made me genuinely happy and gave me a purpose, which is not something I have really ever had.  

All my life I’ve struggled with being able to accept any good things I did, I never felt like I was enough. I never enjoyed things because I always felt like I needed to do everything perfectly and if I didn’t, it was a personal failure, it really tore apart my mental health and how I viewed myself.

So I was really scared to share my writing or art, they’ve always been a passion, but between teachers and my mom I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t write an essay for college projects without crying because I misspelled words so often, I cried in classes when I couldn’t read the questions on a test or if I couldn’t understand them. Even though I got really good grades I didn’t think I was smart, I always thought I was dumb, I thought I didn’t deserve those grades, and I felt like a fraud. But the reason I had those grades was because I overworked myself to get them, I was a perfectionist; I put everything I had into getting a good grade. Even if I got 100% on a test, if the teacher marked somewhere that I could have written something better or that my answer wasn’t exactly what they wanted it broke me. 

I wish I could explain how much it means to have people say that they liked what I did and slowly I’ve accepted that even if my work isn’t perfect; it doesn’t need to be for it to make someone happy. That’s never something I thought would happen. Sometimes I still feel like I don’t deserve it or I get impostor syndrome,  but I’m working hard on improving myself, even if people can’t see it. I hate that it takes so long to work through all my baggage, and I question if it’s worth it because I still don’t see a value in myself. But I see a value in other people, so I work on improving myself for them, I want to be better for them. I know that’s not the best mindset and that we should do things for ourselves, but it’s the only thing I have right now. 

I’ve almost died four times due to complications from my crohn’s. One of those times I was actually revived, and I don’t know how to explain it, but I guess in some people it pushes them to do more with their life. But for me it felt like my life was gone, I felt empty. Everything I worked all my life for was over and just being 17 at the time I didn’t know how to move on after that. All my friends were still going on with their lives, they finished college, some got married, and even my best friend who has cancer was able to go back to college and now started her own business. People expected I would go back to college or get a job, and some said if I couldn’t work I should at least get married to “a nice guy” :/ Because I was struggling so much I ended up being left behind by a lot of people, which hurt me even more. I know I wasn’t the most pleasant to be around; I was really depressed and had no energy left to hide it, I often got angry or just cried over stupid things. I hated it when people told me what to eat or do for my health; I hated it when people touched me because it’s triggering, and when people did those things I’d either have a panic attack or I’d get angry at them. The adults that I’ve known all my life blamed me for not moving on. Family and family friends either said hurtful things or stopped talking to me because I never had anything good to talk about, and I was “miserable to be around”.

They thought I was a waste of their time; they blamed me for having crohn’s even though it’s not at all my fault; they blamed me for ruining my parent's marriage, costing them so much money, and even when my dad got cancer a lot of people blamed me. They said all the stress I caused made him get it. Even after all these years they still say all this shit. My mom reminds me every day that she blames me for everything and that my health problems ruined her life, (like how the hell do you think I feel ma) but then she also says my health problems aren’t real and I just need to imagine that I’m healthy again. She also insists that I need to fix the relationship I have with her, despite her being the one that ruined it when she told me after I got diagnosed that I wasn’t her daughter anymore. Also, somehow she’s mad at me for still holding a grudge against her for that, and also the other times she said something much worse to me, like she expects me to forgive her, and she’ll also tell me I have to forgive myself. I’m not the one who was a garbage person and idk you’d think that adults, let alone your own mother, would be better than this...

Sorry for this random dump of my emotions and life problems, it’s a bad habit. I’m not good at sharing this one on one with people because it makes me anxious. And I don’t share it with people I know in real life because most of them are family friends and don’t know how to keep personal stuff a secret.  I’m lucky enough to have access to getting mental health counseling, and that it has helped me some, it’s just a lot to go through. 

Thank you again for your support and treating me like an actual person that deserves to be happy. This blog makes me feel like I have a purpose again and that this time it’s something I can take my time on and have fun with. And I have a goal, something to look forward to. One day I’d like to write a book. I’d like to write a book that’s based on my life, idk like some silly teenage novel or something xD I went through so much, and I guess I want to find a good reason for all the bad, I want to turn the horrible stuff into something that’s not a negative. 

I love you all <3 I hope everyone is healthy and safe, if anyone ever needs someone to talk to my dm’s and asks are always open. I’m better at offering help than I am at accepting it xD also a habit I need to work on lol and if you read through all of this, idk why, but ty and sorry it was so long. 

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 43 - watching notes

The sun is setting on this show for me and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet 😔

(As if I will! Ha. Imma blog about nothing else the next ... probably years)

Last time on Sophie watches the untamed: We're still in the restricted section. The twin love-struck idiots of lan and wwx found the Collection of turmoil and suspect Jin Guangyao of intentionally bringing about Nie Mingjue's qui deviation.

As much as I love the "hihi. Wwx is wearing his boyfriend's underrobe" aspect of this, I also like the visual incorporation of lwj's colour scheme into wwx's clothes. (Not just through the undertone, his black tone also has slight grey seam.) It's as if now that they are finally fully committed to each other, wwx is displaying it for all the world to see

Jin Guangyao tore out a page to hide the evidence. That's not how to do that!!!

My heart is breaking for Lan Xichen. He looks like a man standing on a train track and watching the light speed towards him in horror while he's unable to move away

Feels like exactly no one on this show is getting their happy ending

*thinks about yi city and cries forever*😭😭😭

"Wangji, Jin Guangyao,in my eyes, is a totally different person from how you and other people see him." And we all know that lwj knows exactly what that's like

PARALLELS! 😭

(Sorry, I have a thing for those)

And lwj looks so pained

Thinking about it, it's now the man lwj loves against the man lxc loves (in whatever way. I still ship them. Not sure if its "canonically" romantic though). They can't both be right, so ... one of them is going to get their heart broken

Great, first the Yunmeng brothers, now the lan brothers are breaking my heart 🥺

Lwj says he's visiting "Grand Master", that's Lan Qiren right? What happened to him anyway? Haven't seen him in ages

I love how, even though it is wwx's word against jgy's right now, lan Xichen is still genuinely kind towards wwx

The whipping scars! I hadn't even thought about those anymore 😳

I'm probably going to get my heart ripped out soon, but before that

"You are not qualified to talk to me."

Sickest. Burn. Ever.

Also, no disrespect to the actor, but that's a backpfeifengesicht if I've ever seen one

(Backpfeifengesicht: "German compound word for a 'face that should be slapped'. Ex:. When GWB smirks on TV, my German friend Uwe tells me that he sees a 'Backpfeifengesicht'." Urban dictionary)

He went to burial mount after wwx was killed??? 🥺🥺🥺

I've noticed something with lwj. When he's distressed, he won't look people in the eye or not even at their faces, just in their very general direction. To me it seems like he almost... can't? Any thoughts on that? Cause I'm intrigued but I can't think about it too much right now cause I'm already writing half an essay in this commentary again 😅

Oh fuck YOU Jiggy!!!

Holy shit ... holy shit

Lan Wangji 🥺🥺🥺

He fought against everyone?

This is how he showed his grieve???

He went to the place wei Wuxian had called home and ... what? Protected or ot so they wouldn't desecrate it? To search for him? To ... what?

Oh god, Wangji! 😭

That image... I'm speechless. It's so powerful

He's half-mad with grieve and kneeling in the ruins of his dead loves home, having fought himself to exhaustion and I'm... not okay 😭😭😭

He had to repent for THREE YEARS??

Oh no, you don't

Holy ...

Holy shit

How can my heart break and be so full at the same time 💔🥺

Lan Wangji ... my love

I'm ... so proud of him and yet so sad

Here he is at his lowest, finally standing up to the orthodoxy he knows to be wrong

This is inhumane 😳

The corporal punishment of the lan sect always was but THIS

Fuck them

Or Lan Qiren specifically

That's his nephew. How can he even look at himself?

"Eradicate evil. Establish laws. Than goodness will be everlasting."

IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY!!!

WHAT EVEN IS "GOODNESS"? WHOSE VERSION OF GOODNESS? DEVINE EVIL! HOW FAR REACHING INTO THE PRIVATE SVERE SHOULD THUSE LAWS BE? DOES IT STOP AT "DON'T STEAL FROM PEOPLE OR AT "DON'T PICK YOUR NOSE AT DINNER"?

what I'm saying is: there are about 200 ethical question ls being raised by this rule alone!

And now lan Wangji had 3 tears to contemplate them

Wwx asking "why would he bother ...?" BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVED YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!!

Ohhh! We're getting their parents' story 😱

Oh this IS a Lan episode 💙

So another Lan falling quickly and never looking back?

I'm sensing a pattern here 🤨

Wait what?

Let me get this straight:

Their father loved a woman who DID NOT love him back and then killed one of his teachers

(And I hope we find out why. That sounds like there is a REALLY interesting story there)

Then he takes her to cloud recess and DESPIT HER NOT LOVING HIM, marries her, fathers two children with her (um... how voluntary was that????) locks her up (as punishment for the murder?) then locks HIMSELF up and then fucks of and leaves his children with their uncle

What kind of disaster human being was their dad????

Did he do the right thing WHEN HE MARRIED AND PROBABLY RAPED A WOMAN WHO DIDN'T LOVE HIM???

NO!!!

The fuck kinda question is that ??

If you have to marry her against her will and then lock her up, guess what? That's not love, that's wanting to possess someone

I hope that maybe the connotation is different in the og Chinese,but I'm not holding out much hope

That explains why Qiren is such a lovely character through 😒

But god, my heart breaks for lwj and lxc :'(

Little Lan Wangji!!! 🥺🥺🥺

Oh darling ...

Oh no ...

Look at him look at his crooked little headband😭😭😭

He went there every month!!!

Oh Wangji 💔💔

Stubborn, steadfast, loving Wangji!

That seals it. I KNEW why he was my favourite character

He isn't so passive all the time, because he feels too little! He feels entirely too much!!! 😭😭😭

And that explains why lwj was so worried about wwx's demonic cultivation harming him!!! 😭

Oh god, it was such an old hurt for him. I had no idea 🥺🥺🥺

All of these characters need a therapist

Lxc playing the flute to what ... deal with his emotions? Express his grieve? Remeber their mother? (And god, do I want to know more about her!!) Either way, It's making me tear up 😥

"It's so difficult to determine others personalities depending on our perspective." Welcome to the human condition, my friend 💙

And that's love

I ... wish I could show you my face right now

I'm smiling through tears right now

It's so utterly beautiful

He looks so vulnerable here! With his hair (almost) down

And given what we've just learned, that's remarkable!!!

He closed himself off became the immovable stone-faced second Jade of Lan and yet, somehow, wwx wormed his way into his heart and sure, both of them needed to overcome a lot, but here they are, vulnerable and open,not letting their parent's fate decide theirs

I'm... *sniff*

I can never get enough of lwj with his hair like this!!

It's so domestic, so soft

And look at his face! 😭

And mister "alcohol is prohibited" is now serving it 😭

Oh my god this scene is so beautiful

I'm speechless

Was the second flute Jin Guangyao as well?

At this point I'm just expecting more plot-twists

He looks so young! 🥺

Both of them are exhibiting so much growth in this episode!! Wwx realising that the fact that the cultivation world had always looked for a scapegoat and that he himself was just the most convenient target, that it's not to any personal failing of his, that's HUGE!

And I'm so proud of him :')

Lwj starting to play in the distance :')

This is so utterly peaceful

My heart is bursting 😭😭😭

The music, the scenery ...

Also, both thinking they have a clean conscious!!! 😭😭😭

Again, it's them holding the same morals that's important! I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!

(But wwx still cannot drink like a normal person :D)

The contrast to lxc sitting alone couldn't be starker 😔

Wait, why are there puppets at burial mounds again?

Are we going back to burial mounds? I'm weirdly excited 😅

Aaand Jin Guangyao just proved to them that he's lying. Poor Xichen

Yup, I'm pretty sure his heart just snapped in half

Little Apple!!! I've missed him 😁

Gosh, they're laying it on thick with the domestic husband bliss this episode and I'm here for it.

I love lwj's soft smile when he looks at bunnies so much!! 🥰

Bunnies, bunnies everywhere

It's the invasion of the bunnies

Who ever is the show runner *banging pots and pans together* IT'S GAY!! cab you all hear me? These two love each other! It's G - A - Y!!! Gay!!!

Probably

Lwj's shocked look when wwx says that he's not popular with little animals, as if to say "how dare they!" :D

Holy shit ... HOW MANY SCENES CAN THEY INCLUDE IN THIS EPISODE THAT MAKE THEM LOOK SO GODDAMN MARRIED???

Is wwx sitting side saddle?

Wwx plays wangxian :')

He finally remembers how lwj recognized him :')

Sneaky, show, very sneaky :D

Wwx about to casually steal some melons, lwj *wordlessly takes out money* ^^

MIANMIAN!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!

I'd given up hope that we'd see her again!!!

I'm so happy I could burst!!!

Lwj's little exasperated head-shake before he stands up from crouching behind some hay 😂

Aww, look at her family! 😍😍😍

She build her own live :')

And look at this badass woman protecting the ones she loves!!!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WEI WUXIAN??? You don't remember her???

You better remember my wife!!!

Aaand another freeze frame. But I'm willing to forgive it because THIS EPISODE WAS SO GODDAMN BRILLIANT!

It made me realise why I was so drawn to lan Wangji as a character. Of course he is mu favourite character! He ticks every single box

Let me explain. My favourite characters almost always share the following characteristics: seems either cold and distant or ethereal and aloof, as if they are above such puny human things like feelings™️(bonus if they're actually not human and their argument is "I'm [insert species]. We can't feel [insert emotion they are definetly feeling very strongly]"). then, over the course of the story, we (along with they themselves because they were in denial) discover that it's not that they feel too little, they feel entirely too much. They're a sea of emotions so deep that the surface is calm, but don't you dare be near them when the storm is coming because all hell will break loose. (extra bonus point if that storm involves them rebelling against the oppressive society they were born into and adhered to until then because they realise their consciousness won't allow it any longer.) afterwards they realise that making themselves vulnerable once in a while is actually a good thing and they proceed to fuck the Rebel™️ who they've secretly been in love with the entire time, a feeling they only now allow themselves to act on

The last part sadly isn't always canon, but who has ever had time for that?

You know what this episode made me realise most of all? The Lan sect are just as human as the rest of them. In fact, they seem to be especially prone to acting rashly on strong emotions. (I don't remember the exact story, but didn't the founder of the Lan sect also have some kind of tragic love story?) It should be obvious, but the impression you get is that they are so detached from their wants, so rigorous and disciplined in their righteousness, that they are almost super-human. But no. Thise 3000 and some rules? They weren't born out of some enlightened mind that had the secret of live figures out, they're a crutch. Abiding by them without question rids one of responsibility to make even the tiniest moral choice for oneself. But that won't work because a) they're bounty to contradict each other at some point and b) that's not how human beings work. They're messy and unpredictable and beautifully complicated. The way Lan Qiren choses to apply them, he completely disregards that. At that point, the rules aren't there anymore to grant a harmonious society, but simply for their own sake. (Or maybe as a wall to hide behind)

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

I think this liveblog has been the longest so far. I'm sorry for going on so many tangents, but lwj's backstory hit me really hard. I hope you guys weren't too bored 💚

(I also apologise for the mountains of typos that probably accumulated in this post. I'm too tired to check.)