#SOFT SFOT SFOTSOAST

[howisyournight]

is this how you fall in love?

inspired by jeremy zucker & chelsea cutler’s ‘this is how you fall in love.’

to fight and to protect; is what xiao has known all his life. in exchange for the freedom rex lapis had given him, even after his so-called death, he was indebted to protect the lands of liyue and its people. 

xiao wasn’t one for interactions with humans yet, despite being an adeptus no one had knowledge about, he was content - to say the very least. his extra efforts to purposely avoid all interactions with humans were all blown away by this one - this one made it hard. 

emotions were not relatively unknown to him, maybe it was the way he’d been living all his life but there were instances that he was lost. intimate relationships were unknown to him - a field he didn’t intend to find and learn about. but it seems like it found him instead. 

maybe it was the way you stared at the night sky or the way you talk about your adventures animatedly. gestures going wild as he stayed silent, his mind clinging to every word that he heard. he had been delaying confrontation for a while. dreading the moment he needed to be true to himself and let loose, at least for a while. so when xiao spent more and more time with you, his feelings grew - almost untamable. his constant peace and quiet disrupted with his heart pounding in his ears. it was the way your eyes lit up whenever he was the one talking or the way you lightly tugged his sleeve to make him stay. 

xiao had been alive for millennials. everything had gone by a blur, even the day he had received his vision. but this, this was something he would never forget. akin to the texture of almond tofu, xiao relished in the intimate atmosphere of the mornings where you would greet him with a bright smile - one that xiao failed to mirror every time. he relished the dusk where he would find you sitting by the balcony, waiting for him to come back. albeit he had said multiple time you need not wait for him, you still stayed;  a soft smile and an understanding gaze adorning your face as you explained why you wanted to. 

you’ve grown soft, he could almost hear rex lapis muse. though he refuses to acknowledge it, he had grown soft for a particular individual. your persistent personality had given him no choice but to interact. he’d wondered if he truly deserved this contentment, to be finally free of his sins and burden that rested heavily on his shoulders - to finally breathe. 

he couldn’t. not when he still hears the endless screaming and the hands reaching out to him for help. but maybe, just maybe, he can savor the fleeting feeling of sitting in comfort next to you. despite the endless battles he still has to conquer, perhaps the solicitude he had been receiving from someone was worth savoring for. 

nonetheless, xiao was grateful for you. from the moment you had introduced yourself to the moment you helped in talking him through whatever it was he had on his mind. as much as he said he was an adeptus of great power, you saw through him and picked him apart. you saw the meaning behind his strength, his pain. you understood him wholly - maybe that was what he liked about you. you didn’t idolize him or place him up a pedestal. you spoke of your opinions on his borderline rude remarks and the sometimes hurtful attitude, and he, too, understood. 

xiao had been battling himself for so long, he wanted to be relieved of his pain. so when you stepped up and placed your hand on his cheek hesitantly, he stared and spoke his mind freely. 

“is this how you fall in love?”