#SO UNWELL OVER THE TITTIES!!!!!

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

thinking about tattoo artist!draken giving me you a tattoo in between and under my your tits im so unwell i want him to suck on my titties so bad HNSKSGDJKHGK okaybye

Hi Mack! Thank you for entrusting me with this awesome ask! I hope you like it! Proofed as much as I could.

WC ::: 2230 (HEY! It was 8 pages and I got it down to 5. So, you're WELCOME!)

C/W ::: MDNI, TattooArtist!Draken x F.reader, unprotected P->V and some other funsies.

You sat in the booth waiting for the artist to come in and start working on you. You'd met him a few times before while going over the finalized print of your design but why hadn't you noticed how sexy he was? He was like some mythological creature.

He walked in backwards and slid the screen all the way to the edge so the small booth was completely shut off from the rest of the shop. "Ok, ready when you are." Draken said as he turned to start getting the ink ready.

"Oh! O-ok, yeah. So, like," you hesitated with your words not wanting to seem like you were too inexperienced. You have tattoos, just not on this part of your body.

"Take your shirt and bra off and lean back and enjoy the ride." He is so fucking cool, you thought.

"Right, enjoy ... enjoy the ride." You began lifting your shirt over your head, watching yourself in the full-length mirror the whole time. Kicking yourself for wearing such a shitty bra (but really what else were you going to do? Wear your best one only for it to get ruined with blood and ink? No. Absolutely not.)

You put your clothes on the extra stool in the corner and wrapped your arms over your chest waiting for his next instructions.

"It's ... heh ... you gonna enjoy the ride or do I have to tat you up while you're standing by the wall? Come on, I'm gentle, I promise.

"Yes! Right right right. Sorry. I'm just a little shy I guess."

I've tattooed much stranger things than tits, trust me. Now sit down."

You moved to sit on the tattoo chair and leaned back. The cool leather made you shiver. Draken placed a paper towel on your chest and told you to relax. He leaned over you to grab the ink and needles. He was so close you could smell him. He smelled like leather, cologne and cigarettes. It made you feel high, breathing him in like that.

He pressed the needle into your skin, making you wince in pain. He pulled away for a second to apply more ink and then went back to work.

After a while, he was about halfway done with the outline. "You doin' ok, y/n? Needa break or anything?" You had zoned out so much that he had to nudge your arm to get your full attention. "Hey! You good?" He laughed.

"Oh shit. Yeah, I guess I just kinda got into a trance. You're very ... rhythmic. It's oddly soothing." You blushed.

"Told you I was good." He beamed. "So you want me to keep going?"

You nodded and put your arms back to your sides where they'd been.

"For this next part, I need you to put your arms above your head. Can you hold them there for a while while I work on the underside of your chest?"

"How long are we talkin' here? 30 minutes? 45?" You couldn't read his face because you didn't know him well enough to. But the look he had was less than comforting.

"Ish? I don't know, honestly. But it's going to be a while. I have a lot of detail to do here. Look, don't ask. Ok? But I can - *aheh* - fuck. I can tie your arms up if this is going to be a problem?" He made a point to look away when he suggested that to you.

And good thing too because the expression that washed over your face would have embarrassed a porn director. You're so proud of yourself for not moaning at the offer.

"YES! Yes. My arms get tired easily. Tie me up, Draken." Your eyes fell to his crotch and the bulge that was presenting itself was nothing short of delicious. You don't know what came over you but you let them roam the length of his chest and met his gaze.

He walked over to a cabinet in the corner and grabbed a few ties. "Which one do you want?" he asked, holding up a few options. You pointed to a soft-looking black one and he tied your arms above the chair. "How's that? Not too tight?"

You shook your head. "No, it's good. Just tight enough." He walked back over to the counter to get the ink and needle ready again. And you know he adjusted his dick. You've seen enough men do that to know what that little dance looks like.

He pressed the needle back into your skin and started on the underside of your tits. He was close enough that you could hear his breath hitch every time he accidentally touched your nipple. And you were certain he was doing it on purpose.

You don't know if it was the drilling of the needle into one of the most sensitive expanses of your body, if it was Draken being so close to you that he could stick his tongue out and flick your nipple with the tip of it. His shallow, labored breathing. His big hands doing such delicate work. But you were getting so fucking wet. And you couldn't help but imagine him sticking his fingers into you. Fucking you with them.

"You're um, doing great. Almost done with this side, are you hot? Do you want some water or something? Want me to crack the window?" he said, breaking the silence.

You nodded, not sure how to respond. "No, I'm uh, I'm doing great, thanks."

He walked over to the window and opened it just a sliver. The air was still warm but it was better than before.

"Thank you." You sighed.

"You're welcome. It's fuckin' hotter than hell in here." He took off his jacket and tossed it over onto your clothes.

You couldn't help but stare at the way his arm muscles flexed as he moved. The tattoos on his right bicep were beautiful and you wanted to trace every inch of them with your tongue.

"SO!" He shouted, startling even himself, he pulled the gun away from you. "Shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that so loud." His cheeks were burning. You wanted to reach out and smooth your fingers over his face. You wanted to sit on it. But that's just crazy, you thought. Draken continued, much quieter this time, "You got a boyfriend? Or ... or girlfriend. Sorry. I forget about that shit sometimes." He chuckled.

"Nope, no boyfriend. No girlfriend either." You said, looking down at his crotch again. You were so horny you could hardly stand it. "So, just me, my shitty bra, and my soon-to-be tatted tits."

He laughed and leaned over you to start on the other side. He was close enough that his breath was hot on your ear. You closed your eyes and let yourself just enjoy the feeling of his weight pressing against you. You were so close that you could have turned your head and kissed him.

But he beat you to it. He stopped what he was doing, sitting the gun down on the tray next to him and he trailed his fingers up over your belly. Lifting them up long enough to skip over your freshly inked skin and he put them down at your collarbone, skimming them to your chin and tilting your face toward him. You tried to put your arms around his neck but you forgot you were all tied up. Literally.

He smiled at the new light of this situation. "You're tied up." Draken's demeanor changed.

You looked into his eyes, nodding. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"You wanna be free or do you like it?" He said, tracing his fingers up and down your jawline.

"I like it." You blushed. "But I can't touch you. And that's kinda bumming me out." You laughed.

He leaned back, grabbed the scissors from the counter, and cut the ties, but he left them around your wrists. "You wanna touch me, y/n? You wanna play with my hair? My dick?"

You nodded and reached down to his pants. You cupped your hand around his bulge and squeezed it lightly. He moaned and you loved the sound of his voice. "I wanna do so much more than that, Draken. But … am I crazy for wanting this?" You laughed.

"Oh, you're definitely crazy, baby. An' that's just how I like it." He pushed you back against the chair and softly wrapped his lips around your pointed nipple and dragged his tongue over it.

You shifted in the seat and let out a small whimper. "Fuck that feels so good. I don't know if it's because you've been drilling on me all day or if I just really - I really want you, Draken." You pulled on his hair and he moaned again. He moved his hand up your leg and slipped it into your jeans, feeling how wet you were.

"Well, I guess I was right about something today, huh?" He laughed and unbuttoned your pants. He pulled them down just enough so he could get his fingers inside of you. "You wanna fuck me, y/n? Right here in my booth? You gonna let me fill you up - make you cum all over my cock."

You nodded, unable to form words.

He pulled his fingers out of you and unzipped his pants, pulling them down and sitting back on the edge of the table. He stroked himself a few times and looked back at you. "C'mon kitten, need this dick?"

You sat up and straddled him, holding your weight up enough so that he could slide himself into you. You let out a low moan as he filled you up, your pussy clenching around him. "Holy shit, you feel so fucking good," you moaned. Your eyes rolled back in your head and your breath all but stopped it's exchange with the space around you.

He started to move his hips and you rode him, rolling them and bouncing up and down on his cock. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, feeling him moan into your mouth. His hands were at your waist, guiding you up and down and you felt so fucking good.

"Fuck, y/n, arch your back, stick your tits up, wan' 'em in my mouth." He said, his voice muffled by your chest. You leaned back, he pushed your breasts together and he latched onto them. Massaging them, sucking and biting on your nipples. You felt like you were in a dream, your body humming with pleasure and pain from the abused inches of your skin.

You slowed your movements to feel him better. His cock was hot and dragging against your walls so perfectly that you almost didn't want to cum. You didn't want this to ever stop. You felt his cock twitch inside of you and he moaned, his body tensing up as he came inside of you.

"Fuck, y/n, cum for me, cum all over this dick, baby." He moaned as you ground your hips against his, rubbing your clit against his abdomen. You let yourself go, your body tightening and releasing with the orgasm that washed over you.

You breathed heavily and leaned forward to rest your head on his shoulder. "Wow, Draken. I ... that was..." you trailed off.

He laughed, "It was, huh?"

You nodded, smiling. "Yeah. It was. But I really like your work." 

Your work? You thought. Why did you say that.

"My 'work'? That's what you like? Heh, well, I'm glad?" He chuckled, shaking his head softly. "I'd say the same for you but, I think that'd be weird since I just fucked you and you're still sitting on my dick." He pushed your hair away from your face and kissed you gently on the forehead. "But, you know, I do like your ‘work’, too. It's beautiful. And you're beautiful. And I can't wait to see the finished product." He said, smiling.

You smiled back and leaned in to kiss him again, this time on the lips. "Me too. I'm excited to see it." You blushed and slowly lifted yourself off of him, wincing as he slipped out of you. "God. I hate this part." You pouted.

"Me too, but I think I can make it better. I wanna take you out, y/n. Let me take you out?" He asked, getting up to put his pants back on.

You nodded, smiling. "I'd love that." You grabbed your bra and shirt and held them against your chest as you watched him walk back to the sink and start washing his hands.

"Deal. We should wait a few days after your tattoo has healed up before we go out. Don't wanna get it infected or anything." He laughed, drying his hands on a paper towel.

You laughed too and nodded in agreement. "Sounds good. I guess that gives me time to plan what I'm gonna do next." 

“Do next?” he asked zipping his black jeans and fastening his belt.

“Tattoo ideas … orrr …?” He spun you around by your shoulders and tipped your face up with his fingers.

“Oh, yeah. I’ve got more ideas.” You turned your back to him and he helped you fasten your bra around the wrapping.

“Would you laugh if I said both?” 

“No. I wouldn’t laugh. I’d say ‘when’?”

[calypso-finale]

Hundred Thirty One.

Smirking at Robyn, I still get turned on by her. She is still the most beautiful woman on earth, I know I gave, well give her a lot of shit and I know she puts up with so much, but I do want peace but there is always something in me that wants me to fail and I so be fighting my demons, Robyn thinks I don’t but I do “don’t smile at me like that, Rylee was livid with us when we did it last time” I busted out laughing “I know, she was so mad like relax. It’s just sex but I like watching you get ready, show me them titties twin” Robyn rolled her eyes “well forget that, can you start packing cases. You’re in bed just playing with yourself” I snorted laughing “not really, just have my hands under the covers and you’re assuming I am playing with myself, just observing how beautiful you are. I am so lucky, you put up with me and yeah” Robyn sighed out “it’s not easy, never is” she made her way over to me “I am not easy, just say that” she sat on the edge of the bed “I feel my mother isn’t going to make it, like she is so unwell” she said “I know” I mumbled “I wanted to ask, and I don’t want you to tell me now. I do not want you to say what I know you want to say, I just want you to think, please. No matter what, she is my mom Chris, so I need you to act with sense. I know what she is like, trust me I do but you and I both know she is not good, and I want her to get better care” I already know what she is going to ask “our home is big enough, please let her move in with us. It won’t be for long” her voice broke “don’t cry” I mumbled reaching my hand up “just think about it for me, please” she sniffled and got up “don’t walk off, Robyn like I know me and her don’t get along but don’t mean I want her not here. She is annoying but who else is going to do it” Robyn turned to me and flicked her tear away “this is why I want Rylee to get married, I want her to see a grandchild get married. This is why I am pushing; this is why I am here Chris. I have so much going on, like she has lived the best life but oh my god, not this” she walked off, she doesn’t want me to hug her because she doesn’t want to cry, this is why she moved away.

Aziel tried to run by me but I grabbed him, picking him up and bringing him into me “you trying to run away from me?” I asked him “no” he giggled “then why you move away like I stink, do I stink?” he is giggling so much “no!” he spat “I get cars for you” this child is a liar “hmmm, I don’t believe you. Are you going to miss me, I am going now” I poked my bottom lip out “no” I gasped “I do, I do!” he shouted as I started blowing raspberries on his stomach “next time, don’t do that. Upset me” putting him down “I didn’t” he is getting so big; he is heavy too. I nearly broke my back doing that “he’s as tall as you” Oakley just walked in “bro” Oakley said laughing “I just breathed” I chuckled sitting back in the couch “he is getting big though” watching Oakley sit down “he is, and he still wants to be picked up” Aziel did get his cars but he ran by me so quickly again “not thinking of having more? Like that is going to be a big gap, he’s going to be six. I don’t know if he will be happy with another sibling really” I chuckled “yeah he isn’t going to like it at all. He knows that all the attention is on him, he is the star of the show but like I don’t know really. This is down to Lee, she doesn’t want to be big while getting married but to me you never in life, we should just keep trying but I won’t push her on it, I don’t want to upset her. I do want one more” nodding my head “I want you to have a girl so bad, like your life is ran by boys, you have so many males in your family that there is barely any girls, your uncle has daughters?” I pointed “yeah that time you saw them, he has three of them but like it’s unique to have them, it’s just boys. I don’t know what to do with girls you know” I bet he doesn’t “ok, I wasn’t expect you and mom here” Tianna is just staring all wide eyed “Ti? What you doing here” I spat “same for you!” she spat, getting up “sneaky” hugging her “same for you” why is she shocked that we are here “aye, the man himself” Damson said laughing.

Damson sat next to me “what is this visit?” I asked, Robyn is happy to see Ti as she is “we leaving tonight anyways but what is this?” I pointed out “erm Tianna missed her sister so like we came. Rylee and Tianna are just two peas in a pod, and she was saying so I said why not, let’s come and see her. Also Rylee asked for her to come, she wants Ti to be her bridesmaid, officially. She told me, she is doing a little get together for them and telling them, she told me, so I was like fine, so we came out” no wonder “I see why now” I laughed “yeah, we didn’t come here for no reason, it was all reason based but Rylee does miss her a lot, I hear it on the phone all the time so yeah. Shocked to see you here without wanting to kill Oakley” I chuckled “now” I said, and we both laughed “now there is still time but no, we hatched it out. We just hung out and yeah, we are cordial and more, so I think we can just move on. It’s hard, and I don’t think he would understand or anyone unless you have a daughter you are close too but it’s hard to see that another man has taken your spot, the protector. I just felt it, I felt like it was just you know, a stab to the heart and yeah I reacted in a shit manner. But I am calm now. I know what is to come, unless you going to marry Tianna, then I need to go through it again” his face froze “I am joking nigga! Look at your face” we both laughed “Oakley is the tester, he is getting all the shit of it but nah, we good now just moving on. I am good, he is good” Damson smiled “I could never say a bad word about him, like I can’t. He is just a good guy that really got wrapped up in shit, I could imagine if he had a stable home. I don’t think he would be as he would, maybe those boys that went university, that got grades but yeah. I am glad, I just want us all to get along, one big happy family. But I can’t lie, the drama does get me” I laughed “I always like to watch drama too that doesn’t involve me” I sighed out.

I have had a long weekend and a bit, having to deal with my father in law to be. I have been on my best behaviour; I am so proud of me. I do not care what anyone says, I did this for Rylee, and I took it. I mean yes it has generally made me and Chris have a better relationship now, we do talk, and we can joke together. We can be in the same room, but I did it for Rylee and to see her happy but now I am ok with it, I don’t need to do it for her. I am doing it for me now, and I do get on with them, but I will always be aware of his outbreaks when he feels like it “bro” looking behind me “you found me” I laughed, dapping Damson “I knew you would be outside, you on that smoke of the month” I chuckled “you know how it is, when I get stressed out. Then I go back to healthy lifestyle again, even though like everyone says I don’t need it but it’s stressful, hearing all this wedding thing��� it is stressing me out “you’re out of your comfort zone brother, I get it. You do you and honestly, to see how far you have come, I am proud of you if nobody has said it to you. You’re nearly there, then you have a family of your own, a beautiful house too. Be happy, your moment” that is sweet of him, turning my head “also what the fuck happened? Like did you know?” I cringed “erm a little, but I didn’t think they would hit at Mayfair, bro nobody does it there, but it’s handled. I am not doing anything again; it was nothing big. I only just replied back to them in a song, and they got mad, I just thought fuck it. They keep rapping Cench this and that, so I was like well fuck you but nah, I am not risking that” I said “least you learn and move on, that life isn’t you, it ain’t us now. I mean ok I had a home, but we still came from nothing too, I wasn’t rich” nodding my head “I get you bro, and I am not going to fuck up like that, why are you here anyways? I knew she was coming but you, are you the guest of honour at their bridal party thing” I laughed “we come with news, I will be going but Ti wanted Rylee to be the first but looks like she has to change it up, we thought they would have been gone but clearly not, they are staying for another day now too but don’t say anything, but Tianna is pregnant” my eyes widened “oh shit, wow. Little Damson” dapping him “congratulations” hugging him “thank you, it was in the air and like yeah, I want it. I am at that age, and she was wanting it so I said if it happens then it does” I cooed out “that is so cute, I am happy for you. And also Aziel need some cousins, his lonely self” that is cute.

Sitting next to Rylee “I was going to go to bed actually” I said, “what is this?” I asked Rylee like I don’t already know but I need to act dumb “she said it’s a deal she has got thanks to Damson, like dramatic” I chuckled “alright, I was waiting to wave your parents off, I guess not now” Rylee slapped my thigh “shut up, another day of making a bond” I side eyed her “I have been extremely good, don’t you think? Don’t I deserve a prize” I grinned “a prize, like?” she squeezed my thigh “erm, begins with a and ends in s?” she scoffed “I think you actually do deserve it though, you have been so good. Like I expected something, but you have been good, thank you. I love you” I smiled “Lee I do it for you, but like you are amazing to my mom. I see it, I give that grace back, and she was mean to you” pressing a kiss to her lips “ok, right. Listen to me!” Tianna spat, sitting back in the couch and looking at them both “Damson is stood there like a bodyguard, is that what the movie is going to be? A remake?” Chris joked “it’s actually James Bond” Damson pointed “stop, so originally it was going to be just Rylee and Oakley, but my beautiful parents are here, I couldn’t keep it to myself, and Damson knows it. Every time Rylee and I speak I want to say it to her, but I can’t. Now that mom and dad are here too, I thought might as well say it to everyone at one time, I am sure you can tell the rest of the sibling I just” Tianna giggled “I can’t keep it to me so, remember this was meant to be just for Rylee but now you both are here, but I am expecting, I am pregnant” she said finally, Rylee gasped “what!” she spat “no?” Robyn said “yes, I am pregnant. We are so happy right now” Robyn jumped up screaming “holy shit, I wasn’t expecting that. Oh my god” Chris got up “part two of being grandparents” Damson said to Chris “wow! I am so happy, my god” they both hugged, Robyn and Tianna are screaming, they are happy “I am so emotional, Ti. I am so happy” Chris hugged Tianna, getting up from the couch “oh dad, I am excited for this journey” Aziel is so confused with everyone shouting “congratulations Tianna” I said to her, but she hugged me.

Scrolling through my Instagram, I be getting tagged in some shit sometimes. I be thinking why sometimes, clearing my throat coming out of my tags, I still follow Wyge on here and it’s cute to see him happy, but it’s still fuck him, he isn’t that guy. I only deal with him because of Rylee, she wants Halle in her life so I have no choice, what can I say “man” answering the calls “yo” my brother is calling me “where is mom staying?” he asked, “why do you want to know?” random as fuck I want to see her bro, why you playing” of course he does “I will text you, it’s in Dublin. Like city wise, but I will message you, she lives with cuz there too, company and shit but I will text you” Rylee has walked into the bedroom now “ok, thanks bro” disconnecting the call, I was about to speak but Rylee just burst out crying, my face dropped “what happened?” I got off the bed, I literally left her there “Lee, what happened?” hugging her not knowing why the hell she is even crying or what happened “Lee, talk to me” she is really hurting “did someone say something to you?” she sobbed out and then pushed me away “talk to me?” I am so concerned “just seeing that, the happiness. You see how happy they both were, me. They wanted to kill me; I was shit. I had to stand there and see the joy I never got, the happiness the I can’t wait, like what. After everything they both did to me, that hurt to see” she walked into me crying, I understand her.

“Oakley” looking over at Rylee, it’s the morning and she is so quiet and hasn’t left the room, I have been just watching her from my bed cleaning the bedroom instead, anything but to see them “what’s up?” she sat on the edge of the bed “can you see them out? I can’t see them, like just please. It’s still raw and Oakley, you went upstairs and the way they was speaking to Ti and Damson, so much joy and love” nodding my head “I get it, but you was young, and they expected more” she shook her head “we didn’t deserve that, my dad looks so happy. That pregnancy to this day haunts me, oh it was bad Oakley, and I am not mad at her, I am happy for her, but I hate my parents, they are so happy she is. My dad kept hugging her, and said you’re going to be close to us, I can see you bloom, and it’s all positive, but where was that for me!” she spat “they disapproved of us Lee, you know that. You told me I need to do this, so I am telling you that you do. You can’t hide away, that shit is a trigger. I get it, I saw it too. But they didn’t like me, it’s my fault that you had to go through that” she is very hurt “I have to put up with Tianna now getting all the good, I am happy for her but them two treated me badly. The immense stress, my dad too. That pushed it for me, I was a dirty secret to the world, and it was their way or nothing, and my mom was a puppet too and now it’s like all joy. I get it, she is who they want her to be with, I get I am the disappointment for them but to see that, like wow fuck me then” I did peep it myself really.

Rylee has been hiding upstairs all this time and they keep asking for her, they are going now “I am so hurt though Oakley, that is my trauma” nodding my head “babe I know, but just say bye and that’s it. I am going to be there, come. You can do it” wrapping my arm around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head “treated us like shit” she said “more me though, come” going down the steps “come on” Robyn said to her “hiding form us” Tianna said to her “not well” she just said “and I don’t think I should hug you both for that reason” Chris put down Aziel “well don’t stand too close to Tianna, she is newly pregnant now” Chris said, I cringed “yeah, yeah. She is just unwell. She will be ok, don’t worry about it, it’s a headache thing” now she got me lying “well my daughter, I don’t care” Robyn just came in for a hug, I stepped back. Rylee didn’t hug her back, she just stood still “I love you so much, take care. We need to mee tup again for the wedding details” Tianna looked at me and I just looked at her, clearing my throat “yeah we will, I will walk you out” I said “what about my hug? Come here” Chris said, “I need to go” she ran off upstairs “why?” Chris spat “she isn’t well” I lied “is something happening” shaking my head “come on Chris, we will be late” I breathed out, I rather they just go now, it’s all so raw.

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

rewatching season 1 of tlovm and fuck it i’m going to liveblog it, i don’t care that i’ll already be absolutely insufferable come friday:

- my brother and i watching this for the fourth time after finally having knowledge of dnd: “oh fince is just a drow….. not a really fucked up looking human……..”

- everything about the opening scene in the tavern makes it so obvious why i fell in love with vax,, the first thing he does is flirt with a hot man and then immediately attack him of course i love him

- they really said “we want to make it as clear as possible within the first five minutes of this show that these twins are bisexual” (and i thank them for it 😌)

- it’s so fun to spot all the matts throughout the show, i really hope they continue that bit in season 2

- it’s wild how recognizable all their voices are to me now… i used to have a hard time connecting the voices to the cast members, but now i’m just like. oh yeah hi it’s you.

- the legend of vox machina song is high-key what made me fall in love with the show

- :0 an airship! (i hadn’t watched much of c3 the last time i watched this show)

- forever and always soft about sam and liam’s kids voicing the little kids on the show

- crazy to hear a child ask liam o’brien “are you a wizard?” and for liam to answer no

- vax being so soft with the children makes me so emotional,, especially when you think about how he never got to have kids of his own/never got to meet any of his nieces and nephews 🙃

- this intro is The Most Intro.

- i am so fine and normal about the raven in the intro actually

- i get so excited about gilmore even before we see him (vex going “please, with the way that man dotes on you” and vax looking all flustered.. i love them)

- i believe in pike and vax sibling dynamic supremacy <3

- TUSK LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- my mom decided to walk in during vax and gilmore’s incredibly sexual flirting 😭😩 (she has never watched this show but she knows i’m obsessed with it)

- i love vax and gilmore so so so much i am prepared to be so unwell about them again in five days

- my mom is still here and scanlan is being scanlan :|

- wow i’m sure none of this dragon stuff is at all important later… definitely just a nice decorative rug…. 🙃

- vex i love you but you know so little about dragons all things considered,, i feel like she should at least know that they can turn human

- desmond is so viktor-arcane-core

- META PIGEON???? i never noticed that before omfg 😭😭😭

- gotta love the “titties work hard but emos work harder” scene

- i love the vax and grog prank war so much i hope they show more of it in s2 (the beard-shaving scene.. please…)

- never getting over how fucking pretty the twins look in their fancy getup

- absolutely haunted by the knowledge that matt and marisha voice the weird old couple that scanlan flirts with

- percy :( he makes me so sad :((

- simon!!!!!!! all i want is for there to be some reference to how vax got simon,, i want a thorn mention,,,,

- the scene with vax and the briarwoods you will always be famous <3

- i’m so conflicted because on one hand i feel bad for desmond but on the other hand…… no mercy percy hot.

[bajablastflavoredsaxreed]

OKAY SO

(spoilers for workin’ boys under the cut)

When Hidgens shoots Ted?! And the Hatchet Town motif plays?! losing every marble i’ve ever clutched

Fuckin transcendent

The spooky version of show stoppin number when he is killing? it’s so good hello? they took his ass OUT of swing and things got serious

EVERY TIME RUTH IS THERE JUST FOR ONCE PLAYS UNDER THE DIALOGUE. UNWELL. SHE DID GET TO ACT BUT IT WAS. JUST FOR ONCE

FUCKIN RAISINS CALLBACK WOOHOO!!!

half of the score is just show stoppin number and i am HERE for it-the triumphant version when hidgens dies? spooky piano version of ‘business calls’ in the opening? the title music kinda jazzy thing? i see you

when officer bailey is hiding bc he forgot he has a gun and richie is talking to him show me ur hands plays…top ten hatchetfeild motifs its in all three of the stage shows too

MARY KATE WILES IN HATCHETFEILD REAL?!

WHEN HIDGENS TELLS RUTH TO STICK TO THE SCRIPT I THINK THAT THE OPENING TO INEVITABLE PLAYS OHH MY GOD (not so sure but that was my first thought. only reader response analysis in my house) (it also plays under when they say “chad’s coming” so i think it’s something else im missing)

lah dee dah dah day under when the audience is talking to each other! okay!

NOOO WHEN IT SWITCHES TO RICHIE AND GRACE TALKING THE SCORE GOES TO THE IM NOT A LOSER MOTIF SOBBING

meg…and eve…and sue…and marge…and leah…and chad

the piano intro to the song they play over the credits almost sounds like the beginning of tgwdlm…same tune also shows up in yellow jacket

matt dahan i owe you my life

PLAYBILLS:

ZOEY CHAMBERS (Henrietta) is humbled beyond words to be a part of this groundbreaking production. Zoey has been enchanting audiences for years with her portrayal of badass girl-bosses like Sandy from Grease and Fantine from Les Miserables. Zoey would like to thank her brother, Zack, for giving her the acting bug all the way back in the third grade! It’s ironic that Zack thought he was the actor of the family but Zoey would go on to completely overshadow him in every way. Sucks to suck, doesn’t it, Zachary? Zoey would also like to thank her roommate and fellow cast member Hailey! Hailey is perfectly cast in her very small and inconsequential part. The role of Marge is just so uninteresting and one dimensional that it helps mask Hailey’s limited range as an actress, as well as other flaws, such as not being pretty enough to pull off an ingenue. Enjoy the show and be sure to check out (can’t read due to finger covering it sorry :{) for spicy pics.

RUTH FLEMING (Secretary #4) is so fucking stoked for her acting debut! This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I mean, her. Ruth ran the lights for her school’s shitty production of The Barbeque Monologues and was also the Assistant Stage Manager for The Wizard of Oz…it sucked. She got bullied and excluded by the whole cast even though her job was just as important as theirs. More important actually! Being in the cast is way better. You don’t even have to think of an excuse to barge into the dressing rooms you can just walk right in! Everybody takes off their shirts and lets their titties tumble free! It’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen…I mean she’s ever seen. Anyways, Ruth doesn’t want to thank anybody because nobody did anything for her.

CASSANDRA KING (Eve) is elated to be present with you fellow vessels in these fleeting moments. Everything has transpired exactly as the lights in the sky foretold. Cassie had never been a believer in prophecy or the ethereal spaces between…but she’s seen too much to deny the truth now. She no longer fears the visions, or the pain that comes along with their descent. Pain is the price of knowledge. Pain is the language that unites the children of Azathoth, no matter which star they may hail from. Cassie wants to see what lies at the end of the cold hall. She’s ready to see the face of the girl screaming in the dark. How did she find herself aboard? And what is the destination of such a magnificent she? Is tonight the night Cassie departs? The lights give no answer. And so she waits for deliverance. Cassie would also like to thank her boyfriend Chris.

HAILEY DILMORE (Marge) is so lucky to be a part of the best cast in the world! She has no idea how she managed to worm her way into this talented group of ladies! You may recognize Hailey as a Pink Lady from Grease or Disciple #3 from Godspell. Hailey would like to thank her fellow cast member, Zoey Chambers. Zoey has been an inspiration, a mentor, and, above all, a friend. She’d also like to thank her parents and her dog, Walter. Also, she’d like to apologize to the cast once again for blowing up the bathroom every single day during rehearsal. She’s so sorry she made it stink so bad that everybody had to cross the street to use the toilet in Bank of America. She really doesn’t know what’s happening to her bowels. She will be going to the doctor after the show closes and get everything sorted out. Enjoy the show!

okay my main takeaway from these is that zoey’s the worst and there is a Bank of America across the street from the Starlight Theatre which means i have to update my hatchetfeild map

MORE PLAYBILL!!

THE BARBEQUE MONOLOGUES

The Tony-award winning musical serves up a well done tale of one typical American suburb. When folks gather around the grill, they share so much more than a dug out and a cold one. Secrets, obsession(?), dreams and betrayal, these are some of the entrees at the barbeque.

BLINKY’S WATCH PARTY

A musical extravaganza through Drowseytown! It will be oh so wonderful to see you again, Bill! Yes Bill, I’m talking to you. Don’t bother showing this to Ted. No one else will able to see it. But I can see you, Bill. I’ve been watching you, with Nine-Hundred and Ninety Nine Eyes. One short, thanks to your little twist(?). It’s time I get you back, Bill. What’s the old expression? “An eye for an eye” Hahahahahahahahahaha!

MAMMA MIA!

A terrible show about sad women singing ABBA. A truly miserable experience, I can’t stress that enough. This show will make you hate ABBA as well as all musicals. You’ll never want to listen to ABBA’s two good songs ever again. Beware, friend. Beware. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

SANTA CLAUS IS GOING TO HIGH SCHOOL!

i can’t read it at all sorry :{

JUST GOT THE CHANCE TO WATCH WORKIN BOYS AND AS WITH EVERY HATCHETFEILD PRODUCTION I AM AMAZED BY THE CALLBACKS IN THE SCORE AND DIALOGUE

[celestinovietti]

(Via clinicamobile)

[queenahnhyejin]

The many reasons moomoos love Hwasa:

Hwasa is a wonderful, kind, graceful, loving, caring and soft person. She is always real - no frame, no fake. She is one of the most respected idols, but many kpop stans drag her til this day. It is not on anyone to persuade a person to trust or like someone. However, Hwasa is hands down one of the most humble and kind idols, so here is a relatively short list of reasons people love her:

1. First of all, she is a role model for many. She defies all expectations and beauty standards of an idol. She makes millions of girls feel more confident in their skin. She is a darker-skinned Asian, curvy, with mono lids and a face that does not fit the idol standard. She has been called fat and ugly her entire career. (For no valid reason) Yet she NEVER changed the way she looks, because she loves herself the way she is.

2. She regularly donates to charity and is part of many campaigns. She never posts about her donations, but many moos know that she has been very active over the years. Recently she partnered up with Tommy Jeans for "Together, we create". Refund Sisters donate all earnings of Don't Touch Me for a good cause. Mamamoo has made numerous donations for all kinds of causes and keep their fans involved and aware of many issues.

3. She is always for LGBTQ+ rights. From the very beginning of her career until now.

4. She is an artist. She writes, composes, produces and is involved in all of her solo work. She doesn't do the things she is told but the things she truly wants.

5. She never says anything bad about someone. In fact, she is a big softie and has a big heart. She really is there for her friends and colleagues, which is something they all said (Mamamoo members, Kei, Refund Sisters members, Park Narae, Han Hyejin, ILA cast...)

6. She talks honestly about her feelings and her music reflects she is a normal girl in her twenties that can get hurt and emotional like everyone else.

7. She is very proud and loving of her family. She never forgot where she comes from.

8. She is a relatable queen. She loves greasy food, sleep, movies, nature, messy buns, comfy clothes, she picks her nose and is lazy when she feels like it. And is totally not hiding it.

9. On the other hand, she is incredibly hard working. She never complains about the INSANE amounts of work she has. Only this year she had her solo comeback, was a part of ILA, Refund Sisters & Hangout with Yoo, filmed YeoEunPa, had a CB with Mamamoo, performed on music shows, award shows, variety shows, went on photo shoots, campaigns, fashion events etc. She injured her back and still performed. She was really unwell mentally but managed to out put an incredible album.

10. She is actually quite smart. She always uses word plays in her work and has a very good ear, so much so, that she can direct herself in the studio and use many foreign styles in her singing.

11. She shows affection wherever, whenever. To fans and friends.

12. She rocks her bare skin and free titties and frankly doesn't give a damn.

13. She is a fashion icon.

14. She made small businesses and venues famous and through her sell-out power helped them take off.

15. She is redefining makeup and fashion trends across SK. Some articles labeled it "the Hwasa generation".

...

These are only 15 reasons, but no doubt, there are countless reasons to love this amazing queen.

[becca-e-barnes]

sorry all my days are running together since the bite and i can’t remember if it was this morning i sent an update or what so i’m sorry if this is the 2nd one today.

but it’s gotten worse. it’s spreading the pain through my nervous system making it where i can feel it all over my body everywhere all at once. and i’ve already had a back injury so it’s like it’s worse there bc my back’s nerves have already been slightly damaged from being thrown into a cement wall (middle school was rough i had a lot of bullies) and it’s literally throbbing. and girl when the pain spread to my 🐱 i almost lost it. the line that was coming from my nipple to my shoulder is very noticeably thicker. and i feel lumps and knots formed under the breast. and i think i see a welt. and it looks so gross bc it’s so wet but like what liquid is that? i’ve literally lost all appetite for food it’s so gross.

but it’s like when the pain is in my boob it concentrates on the nipple and the doctor says it’s bc of all the nerve endings in my boob. but it’s excruciating pain everywhere and it turns on like a dial. pain, more pain, and omg i’m getting murdered pain. i may need to go to the hospital if it gets worse. and i’m really paranoid of the venom like what if it’s gets bad enough to kill me? and it has formed another scab but now it’s so weak it won’t stay on. and it hurts to wear a shirt let alone a bra which makes it where i can’t leave the house bc how can i go braless with my DDs lmao. and it’s looking like i won’t be at work tomorrow either and it’s the last day of the week and i feel so bad bc it’s my first job and they already give me a hard time and now i’ll be missed a whole work week (weekend). but i just can’t stop crying. it feels like someone planted tiny little bombs in all of my nerves. i’m so scared bc it’s gotten so much worse so fast. and what if the spider that bit me is still alive? i tore my room apart and sprayed like crazy i hope it works.

but i just need someone to tell this to so i don’t lose my mind to the pain. any advice on easing nerve pain? not jumping off a cliff? anything helps! and also ily.

-ranting/spider-bite titty anon 😒

You’re getting the worst time right now omg, I’m so sorry to hear the pain has gotten worse! Sending you so much love 💗

I had a few asks last night that were directed to you so in summary, people were saying to make sure you leave the scab alone if you can, you’re doing more damage by pulling it off (I know you said this new scab isn’t very secure but hopefully it stays on!)

People also said to go to urgent care if you get worse so please do think about that if things get worse than they are now.

And I’m sure you don’t need to worry about the venom being strong enough to kill you, I’d imagine there’s maybe some kind of infection now that’s causing more pain than the actual venom itself

Don’t you even worry about work!! You’re allowed to be unwell! Take those sick days when you need them! (I’ve never taken a sick day, I used to go into work, totally destroyed by tonsillitis and what extra thanks did I get?? So take the days when you need them!)

But just try to make sure you’re taking painkillers! (If you take them) and try to keep yourself comfortable and distracted! If you need to go to the hospital l, make sure you go 💗 and try to sleep as much as you can to let your body rest!

[the-black-birb]

Love in Time Extras

A/N: Now that this story is officially over (I still can’t believe that), I thought I’d post some little tidbits and thoughts that didn’t make it into the final cut and the like. I’m also going to be posting an analysis that I wrote on Tsukishima and the Reader’s relationship when I was bored, but I won’t be tagging anyone in that because it’s probably...kind of boring. 

I don’t want to be annoying with all the tags so I’ll just be tagging some of the accounts who’ve been very loud about the AU!! once again, thank you all for the kind comments!! Even if I don’t reply a lot, they warm my heart. Thank you!!!!

Taglist: @hqkeiji​ @miyulovestowrite​ @babiekeiji​ @soft4kei​ @pinkie-ghuleh​ @yuiicorn​ @asahi-is-baby​ @zoppzoop​ @eijihoee​ @pavlovs-titties​ @nanashinanashi​ @tsukkx​ @fait-de-fleurs​ @issalilmessy​ @ihavewhiplashbecauseofnct​ @iamsuperdumb​ @asianequation​ @bambisfuneral​ @fantasymirror​

I first sent this idea on anon to @4haikyuu​ !! Here is a screenshot of the first time I put into writing what my idea was.

In the first set of profiles, I mention that this fic is meant to be slowburn and enemies to lovers!! I wasn’t confident saying it b/c I hadn’t really drafted it out at that point (I finished my update between the 2nd and 3rd chapters)

When Love in Time was still fragments of ideas, I was going to have y/n and Tsukki has a hot makeout in the “meet cute” chapter and have y/n say something along the lines of “I wanted to see if I could get a one night stand out of you so I had a place to sleep” but I decided that was a bit too promiscuous and I didn’t want to reveal quite yet that y/n had a homelessness issue yk

Kenma is y/n’s best friend. I wish I could’ve delved deeper into their friendship, but I tried to show how she was close with Kenma before anyone else. I also wish I could’ve done more with Yachi and y/n’s friendship, as well as shown more of Kuroo caring for Tsukishima

Kuroo calls Tsukishima “Kei” because he’s closer with him than anyone else.

Kuroo’s username “copper_titanium” is a pun. On the periodic table, copper is cu and titanium is te. He’s calling himself cute. I wanted to do some variation of “cutie” but the username would’ve been too long

I never got into the specifics of which colleges everyone went to but…they’re not all at the same college. Tsukishima and Akaashi go to the same college, which is why they room together for convenience. Kenma, Kuroo, and y/n go to the same college (but a different one from Tsukki) which is only really relevant b/c Kenma and y/n met when they were paired together to design a game! It doesn’t really matter where Yachi and Yams go, but Yachi and y/n don’t go to the same college (bc then they probably would’ve already met, since they were both art majors)

The first time Tsukishima sees Hinata after high school is when they have their celebrator dinner in chapter 18. Before that, he’d avoided him wildly bc Hinata reminded him too much of his insecurities

It’s mentioned in the epilogue that y/n’s art is full of fireflies. This is because Tsukki’s name can mean firefly. He was her muse, left in traces throughout all her art.

When Tsukishima (not if) proposes to y/n, it is at a museum in front of a piece of art that she showed him on their first date.

Museums are symbolic of both y/n and Tsukishima. It showcases y/n love of art, and Tsukishima’s love of history.

I’m not going to put my entire outline out here, but under the cut, I’ve put the first skeleton I had after my initial brainstorm + a few notes. I’ve always had trouble drafting stories and searched to see what other authors did, so I hope this helps!! I used a method I found on this website but different methods work for different people!

Skeleton

Main Character

Y/N & Tsukishima

Status Quo

Y/N is a nude model b/c she is     desperate for money b/c she’s almost homeless

Tsukishima is wildly unhappy and     not taking care of himself because of it

Motivation

Tsukishima’s friends are trying to     help him

Initiating Incident

Tsukishima sees Y/N nude modelling     and is rude to her about it

Developments

Kenma introduces     Y/N and Tsukki to one another, not knowing about the bickering

Hinata sees this     and decides to forcibly involve Y/N with Tsukishima to try and help Tsukki     heal

Tsukki and Y/N     get to a weird, still hostile, middle ground

Crisis

Y/N gets in an argument with     Tsukki the same day that she told Hinata and Bokuto she’d move out. She     ends up sleeping on a park bench, with nowhere to go

Resolution

Tsukki finds Y/N and although he’s     angry, he takes her home with him.

They open up to one another,     Tsukki goes with Y/N to see her talk with her mother and witnessing her     bravery decides to do what he wants, too.

Subplot 1:

Tsukishima has a major that he’s unhappy with (pre-law) and seeing all his friends doing great things makes him insecure. When he sees Y/N following her passion despite fear of instability, he decides to pursue what he wants to do, too (public history!) → we’re all scared of ending up in a career we won’t like, but that is Tsukki’s reality.

Subplot 2:

Y/N wants a stable job but that is incredibly difficult as an artist. At the end of the story, she gets accepted to an apprenticeship with an artist she admires.

Subplot 3:

Hinata wants to have a reunion with all his volleyball friends, but everyone has grown rather distant.

Subplot 4:

Tsukishima doesn’t take care of himself. Not much to say, just wanted to get it out there. Forgets to eat, lays in filth for days at a time, etc. Has a protection group

Character Analysis

Y/N

The core of her character is that she will pursue what makes her happy, to a fault

She had a falling out with her mother after they got in a fight about how pursuing art wouldn't let her support herself and her mom is all "the only reason I'm okay without your father is bc I made good decisions, you can't rely on a MAN" so Y/N is like okay then I will not rely on anyone 😌

She is headstrong to a fault and she doesn't like relying on others.

Got an almost full scholarship to college, dormed for a year but it was dummy expensive so she's been apartment-hopping

At the time the AU starts, she had wanted to dorm w/ Kenma bc they're friends but cat allergy wouldn't allow it. Kenma asked Hinata to take her in bc him and bokuto are out constantly due to training

At the end of the AU she gets an offer for an apprenticeship. When she comes back to Japan, her work is littered with fireflies (Tsukishima)

Tsukishima

He is scared of hating his career bc he fucking hates his major

Sees his friend's success and is terrified he'll never get there b/c everyone is so far ahead of him

Unlike Y/N who won't show people when she's unwell, everyone sees him. He's practically rotting. He'll stay at home and forget to eat and take care of himself

He is so holed up his friends make an initiative to take care of him

Although Akaashi is only his roommate for convenience, it also allows him to send messages to Kuroo about his well-being

Tsukki has a family that loves and supports him and has never had to think about money. He simply has too much Pride to change his major which is where he's different from Y/N

Y/N doesn't want to ask people for money b/c she knows how it feels to struggle. However she has no problem admitting she's unhappy and wants change. Tsukki is the opposite

If Y/N is the wave, constantly changing and unpredictable, Tsukki is the cliff the wave crashes on: stable and steady

[sortagaysortahigh]

lexingotn i am so unwell over harry

its okay bby dont think about his tattooed titties

[certifiedmoth]

Always and Forever

Headcanon - Dad!Michael

Word Count: 3.3K

Notes: Michael as a dad just absolutely kills me, this man deserves to be happy and loved okay

Warnings: a little bit of smut, and also lactation kink, that boy loves a titty

Credit to @yourkingcodyfern for the mikey gif

Okay so Michael would absolutely have mixed reactions at you becoming pregnant

You had both talked previously about wanting kids and starting a family together

But when you had felt sick a couple of mornings and decided to take a pregnancy test, he silently started freaking out as you both waited in silence

The test showed that you were pregnant and he froze

He had so many emotions going through his head

He was as happy as he thought he could possibly be, but also afraid of being a terrible father

You reassured him that he would be nothing like his dad and instead would be kind, loving and caring to his little one, just like he was with you

You always knew how to calm him down when he got too in his head

Michael would be a saint throughout your entire pregnancy

He literally worshipped the ground you walked on

You were his beautiful goddess, carrying the life you both created, and he never thought it was possible to have it this good in life

He brings you whatever food you want, gives you massages, and makes sure you never have to lift a finger

He enjoys resting his head on your stomach and talking to his baby

He goes overboard with the crib, stroller, clothes, everything… nothing but the best for his little bub

You thought he was protective before? Ha, he literally never leaves you alone now

One day when you were 8 months pregnant, you needed some alone time and wanted to go for a walk

The thought alone nearly gave him an aneurysm

He was hesitant about letting you go out by yourself, but you assured him you’d be fine and insisted that he not try anything. He, however, sent a bodyguard to follow you, just to make sure nothing happened, to which you scowled at

Often he would cancel meetings if you were feeling even slightly unwell. He always needed to be as close to you as he could at this time

Michael would be so excited and nervous about the birth

He knew the circumstances surrounding his mother’s death and his greatest fear was that that would happen to you

He tried to push those thoughts aside though and get excited for the arrival of your little one

You had insisted that you didn’t want him to use any magic on you to lessen the pain because you wanted to experience the birth of your child as naturally as possible and he respected your decision

It killed him inside to see you in so much pain though

He was right there by your side the entire time, holding your hand and praising you for how well you were doing

Once he heard the first small cry of his baby boy, his world completely stopped

He watched with teary eyes as you held your son in your arms for the first time

He reached his finger out and your son instantly grabbed onto it with his tiny, but powerful fist, which filled Michael with an insurmountable amount of love

You both sat there for what felt like ages, silently staring at him in awe

He couldn’t believe that he had created something so beautiful and magnificent

The first few days home were stressful to say the least

But you and Michael wouldn’t have changed any of it though, both of you felt full to the brim of love and happiness

You leaned on each other as you figured out parenthood together

You were so exhausted after the birth that Michael usually took night duty

Which he didn’t complain about

He loved any extra time he could get with his little one

You’d lay in bed, startled awake by your son’s cries and you could hear Michael cooing and softly humming to him from the other room

He’d hold him right up to his chest and tell him that everything would be okay and that he would never let anything happen to him or his mama

On some nights though, what your baby really wanted was milk so Michael had to unfortunately wake you up

He could never get tired of the sight of you feeding his child though

Part of him would get slightly jealous, wishing that it was him that was suckling from you

He’d lean over and kiss your neck, whispering softly “make sure to save some for me”

He would never get tired of your giggle that always accompanied that particular comment

Most mornings were spent lazily in bed, taking your time getting up

You’d lay in bed with Michael and your son, taking in the sight of your two favorite boys laughing and loving on each other

Your son would grab on to Michael’s hair tightly and he’d always grunt, trying to make him release his grip which caused you to laugh

“You think that’s funny, huh? I don’t laugh when he bites you while breastfeeding”

“Because that actually hurts” you’d reply with a huge grin, teasing him

“This hurts!” he’d reply, only making you laugh harder, before helping him out of your son’s grasp

Throughout the day you’d be able to hear Michael talking to your son about whatever was on his mind

Sometimes it was about official cooperative business and you found that especially entertaining

Speaking of business, Michael would absolutely loathe having to leave the both of you for any meeting or other work related thing

He still had the sanctuary to run though

Unfortunately to Michael’s dismay, everybody knew about the birth of your son from seeing you pregnant for the last couple of months

If it was up to Michael though, he would have the both of you locked away where he knew you were safe and no prying eyes or hurtful hands could follow

But of course, everybody still knew

Nobody spoke about it though, because they already knew how fiercely protective he was with you

They could only imagine how much more intense his protective nature was with his child

And they were all right

If anyone dare even mention Michael’s family, he would burn them alive before they could finish their sentence

As your son got older and was eventually a toddler instead of your baby boy, Michael couldn’t help but get sad over your little one growing up

He cherished every moment he had with you and your son, because he felt that time was going by too fast

This was when he started the conversation of having another one

You had been ready for a while but didn’t feel the need or urge to bring it up

Michael came up behind you one day while you were playing with your son and wrapped his arms around your waist, whispering in your ear, “I want another one, love…”

Shortly after you were pregnant with your second child

You had assumed this pregnancy would be similar to your first one, but you were wrong

You didn’t have much morning sickness, but you were hormonal, hungry and horny all the time

It was a lot to deal with

Michael didn’t appreciate your temper or attitude (although he would never actually say anything about it)

It appeared to him that he now had two pouty toddlers to take care of

Michael consistently bit his tongue whenever you gave him sass and instead he showered you with even more love and affection, knowing that it was just your hormones that were affecting you

Your appetite also became a problem, although an entertaining problem to Michael

You were constantly snacking throughout the day, especially weird things too

You once ate a whole jar of peanut butter much to Michael’s surprise

Also, sauerkraut on everything

Michael really didn’t understand it but he tried his best not to judge or laugh

With this pregnancy you became insatiable when it came to sex, too

Morning sex, sex after breakfast, shower sex, Michael just got home sex, sex before bedtime, etc.

You needed him almost constantly

It was nonstop and Michael really couldn’t complain, he loved how ferocious you had become, but he was starting to get tired (even though he would never admit it)

Michael was tired a lot these days, having to deal with work, a toddler, and his pregnant wife, but he wouldn’t have changed any of it

He loved his life and thought it wasn’t possible to have any more love to give or to receive, but that changed when you both welcomed your little girl into the world

He looked at his daughter in complete awe

She had your eyes and hair color and Michael couldn’t have been more in love

You see, where your daughter looked like you, your son was a mini replica of Michael with curly blonde hair that could never stay out of his bright, blue eyes

Soon after, Michael brought him in to meet his little sister and he smiled so hard you thought he might explode

“Mama, mama she’s so tiny!” he’d say excitedly

Michael would pick him up to sit on his lap as you all doted on your new addition to the family

As it turns out, your son was a great big brother

He was very attentive to the baby’s needs and tried to help as much as he could (although I don’t know if you could technically call it help, he was a toddler after all and didn’t have the gentlest of hands)

But nonetheless, it was still cute and warmed both yours and Michael’s heart to see him be so affectionate with her

He also proved to be a very protective brother

On one of your first outings with her, somebody got too close for his liking as they admired your little girl and he jumped in front and yelled, “Back off! She’s delicate”

He had remembered Michael using the word to describe her when he was a little too rough one day holding her

You shared an apologetic look to the innocent bystander and Michael wore a smirk on his face, as proud as he’s ever been of his son

He knew that he could rely on his boy to protect his two favorite girls no matter what

Your son would never let anything happen to you or your daughter, he was fiercely protective of you two, just like his daddy

Michael was clearly rubbing off on him

Anything Michael did, he wanted to do as well

Michael would enjoy his coffee in the morning, sitting with you and talking about your plans for the day and your son would sit right next to him with his plastic teacup full of juice, pretending to follow the conversation

It was one of your favorite things

Your son begged you one day to “wear red eyes like daddy”, so you brought out your makeup pallet and put just a bit of eyeshadow on his creases and his tiny gasp when he looked into the mirror had your heart melting

That night when Michael came home, he burst into laughter and admiration for his son, picking him up off the ground and swinging him around to place a big kiss on his cheek

“You know I love you so so so much, bubba?”

“Of course, daddy! I love you, too!!” he’d reply, hugging Michael with all his might

Michael was so content and happy with his life, he never imagined he could have it this good

It was about a year after you had your girl, that to your surprise, you found out you were pregnant again

When you came to Michael, he sat on the edge of your bed and looked at you with wide eyes and calmly asked, “Are you sure, love?”

“Yes, I’m sure…”

He sighed happily, and smiled up at you, getting off the bed and making his way over to wrap his strong arms around your waist

“Are you ready to do this again, baby?” he asked, and you could feel his chest move as he chuckled

You leaned back and looked into his eyes, where you found love and light, “As long as you’re by my side, I’m ready for anything”

“Alright, but are you going to eat peanut butter all the time and have sex with me eight times a day again?” he quipped back, smirking down at you

Your third pregnancy was a lot easier compared to your first two

You felt relatively normal and Michael was grateful because he had a lot on his plate with work and his two babies and he couldn’t afford to completely lose you too

You helped out with as much as you could, sometimes a little too much, which worried Michael a bit

He’d constantly insist that you go lay down and rest whenever he could sense that you were pushing yourself too hard

But you were stubborn and sometimes he had to (gently!) lift you up and carry you to bed, forcing you to relax, reassuring you that he would take care of dinner or put the little ones to sleep or whatever it was that you were convinced you could do

He’d lay in bed with you at night, gently stroking your stomach and wondering how he got so lucky

You ended up going into labor a few weeks early, nothing too bad, but still enough to make Michael worry

You gave birth to another baby girl

When she was born, she cried and cried and it broke Michael’s heart to see his little one so upset, with absolutely nothing he could do to help her

The four of you adjusted to the new addition quite well

Nights were rough however, with your new baby girl insisting on screaming and crying all night long, it was hard to sleep for more than an hour at a time

You and Michael grew so delirious with lack of sleep that it was almost humorous to the both of you

You actually found Michael asleep in your baby girl’s crib one night, holding her close to his chest

“Why is she so upset?” your son would ask one day, covering his ears from her cries

“She’s just little and adjusting to the new world, bub” Michael would reply

But you both found out soon enough that your little girl was special

She had abilities just like her daddy, it seemed

One day she disappeared right from her carrier and you screamed in horror

You didn’t know where she went or what happened and Michael ran into the room to see what was going on

“She’s gone! She’s GONE! I don’t know where she went,” you sobbed, running around looking for her

You were thinking you were the world’s worst mother, taking your eyes off of her for a second too long letting her escape

You then heard your son’s voice, “Moooooom, why is Y/D/N in the living room?”

You and Michael ran in and gave each other a confused and worried look

You quickly found out that she had used transmutation once she saw that you had brought out the mashed bananas, her least favorite food

She was quite the gifted baby

And this both amazed and worried you and Michael

Michael immediately put a block on some of her powers just so that she wouldn’t go missing or put her or any others in harm

Other than the transmutation incident, life for the Langdon family was good

I mean, Michael had the sanctuary to run and you both had three little ones to take care of so you were obviously busy and stressed at times, but you both still considered this life an amazing one

Your kids eventually started to grow up and that was simultaneously exciting and depressing

Michael took it the hardest, he’d cry into your chest some nights about how “they’re getting so big and one day they’re going to leave us”

Your kids could hear noises coming from your room so they went to investigate and they found both of their parents crying and holding each other in bed

Your youngest girl, who was now 5, ran to you and put herself right in between her parents and shouted, “Stop crying!!! Mommy and daddy shouldn’t cry”

“You’re just getting so big, what happened to my little babies?” you frowned, cupping her cheek

“Mommy, I’m right here,” she said in an obvious, matter-of-fact tone, to which you laughed

You looked at your eldest son, who was now 10, roll his eyes and snicker at the emotional state of his parents, which caused Michael to get out of bed

He picked him up and threw him over his shoulders as your two girls snuggled into you on each side

“What’s so funny, huh?” Michael shouted over his son’s screams and laughter

It was these little moments together that made life perfect for you

Y’all were literally the cutest and most loving family

Family movie night? Every Saturday and you’d get all nice and cozy with Michael and your little ones and watch which ever movie was picked

Family dinners? Every night. You and Michael made sure to have some time every day that you could all sit down together and share each other’s company

You and Michael were also very honest and loving parents

You both decided to be as truthful and sincere with your kids from day one, letting them know that there was nothing you’d hide from them and that they should always feel safe to come to you two about anything

Were you guys super strict? Not necessarily. Neither of you didn’t want to create a negative environment for your kids and they were all relatively well behaved

Michael almost never lost his cool, except for the occasional time when somebody gave you attitude or said something rude

“You never, ever talk to your mother like that again. Do you hear me?” His kids would stare back with wide eyes, gulping at the seriousness in his voice

(Your sex life was as great as ever too, okay let’s be real)

Especially after you’d hear his Serious and Strict Dad Voice™, your legs would kind of just automatically open up for him

Sex every night after everyone was asleep was a must

Your stress and worries about the day would melt away once you were in each other’s arms

Quickies were also definitely a thing, obviously, with your busy schedules

The kids are watching a movie and it’s over in 20 minutes? You bet you guys are in your room going at it

Michael’s in his office working and your kids are in their rooms? You sneak in and have some fun with him

(Mornings would usually begin with either Michael between your legs or you between his, just saying)

You were both still in love and as crazy about each other as ever

And your kids saw the love you had for each other every day

They idolized your relationship and were happy to see that their mommy and daddy loved each other so much

Even if it did embarrass them at times

“Dad, I can see you grabbing mom’s butt. Please, STOP”, your son would whine which caused you and Michael to laugh

“Mom, you already kissed dad 17 times today and it’s only 9:30 in the morning, why are you like this…” your middle daughter would groan and you’d act shocked, making your way over to Michael and placing another kiss on his smirking lips

“18 now”, she’d roll her eyes

Life was good and you couldn’t complain

Your family was so sweet and close with one another, it made you and Michael proud that you had created that with each other

This kind of connection and love was something you and Michael had both dreamed about growing up and now you both had that with your three little ones

The love you all shared would last always and forever

[imgoldielikehawn]

Hatred=Love? Changes and Tension

Rated/  Mature NSFW 

Pairing/ Bjorn Ironside X Woc

Word Count/ 2,738

A/N  so I got carried away lol Enjoy!

Tags/  @sparklemichele​ @readsalot73​ @oddsnendsfanfics​ @titty-teetee​ @beltzboys2015-blog​ @beltz2016​ @wilddrabble @kenzieam​ @captstefanbrandt @jdroman5432​ @oneday-i-will-fight-luke17​ @lupy22​ @asadmelon​ @galaxygimger1234​ @letsshamelessqueen-m​ @laketaj24​ @yessscolbybrock​

The first week alone passed by in a blur thanks to the insane workload the company had taken on. Most days I came home, showered and ate (If I remembered) and went straight to bed; but by the time the second Saturday rolled around Bjorns missing presence started to really affect me. We had always dedicated the weekends to going out and exploring or dates to fancy restaurants. There were no phones in Katteget so I hadn't heard from Bjorn at all.  You weren't worried every now and then his friends that had phones would visit the states and post photos from their time together. The month of November came and went and before you knew it small signs of Winter started to appear.

 The nights grew longer and the days shorter and the cold rolled in quickly. A few times I had considered getting some kind of pet to help with the emptiness of the large apartment but I always found some reason to change my mind. As usual I found myself walking up to the apartment late as fuck and exhausted. Tossing the keys on the counter I shed my pants and suit jacket in the laundry room and walked back out in my panties and white undershirt.

  “That is a sight I never thought I would see.” A deep teasing voice came from the shadows. I didn’t jump but I did stop in my tracks.

 “Who the fuck are you!” I demanded.

 “Relax Silvee it is just me.” A man came forward. He was sort of hunched over and bared his weight on one crutch of some sort.

 “Ivar?” I exclaimed when he looked up at me. With those piercing eyes there could be no mistaking him. I rushed over to him and embraced him tightly and pulled back from him sharply.

 “So happy to see me huh…” He grinned and looked down at my half bare body.

 “Don't be this way, you know I did not see you. I have been alone for some time let me go find some sweats”. I sighed and walked away from him to root around in the bedroom. Thinking the better of it I also found one of my Black Pyramid pullovers to cover up my top half. When I emerged from the bedroom I saw that Ivar had made himself comfortable on the couch and had the TV turned on.

 “You know Silvee... that did not help at all right?” He gestured to my change of clothes.

 “Enough Ivar, tell me what you are doing here.” I said making sure my tone was firm. Ivar was a known romancer who had a knack for seducing his brothers women and inviting them into his bed. Our interactions had always bordered on sexual before Bjorn and I got together.

 “I came to check on you. Bjorn really did not say much about what happened. Lagertha is furious.” He grinned.

 “She has nothing to be upset over, I fear my violent temper finally drove Bjorn away.” I looked over Ivars shoulder feeling vulnerable and embarrassed.

 “So I have heard, Lagertha always said that your mother had a temper but that it always made the sex better.” He chuckled and licked his lips.

 “Ivar don’t be vulgar. Anyway my temper is not going away and Bjorn thinks it immature for me to become so angry. So he is there and I am here.” I shrugged pulling my feet up on the couch.

 “You had to go and choose Bjorn.” Ivar frowned intensely.

 “You cannot choose who you fall in love with Ivar, how can you say these things after all these years, aren't you bored with it!” I could feel the anger rising in my chest.

 “Bored? No. More that I am content with watching your doomed relationship fall to shit!” The look that he wore was truly frightening.

 “You are a cursed man Ivar, always spreading your hate and misery for the world to bare when you are too tired of it. How you have survived this long is a mystery.. You have loyalty to no man! Nor Woman!” I rolled my eyes as hard as possible making sure he saw it.

  Ivar was very fast and it had been too long since we were together so I had forgotten. In seconds he was across the couch and I was forced down under him. He made sure that just enough weight was on me to hold me down but not enough to hurt me. I half expected him to pull out a knife but instead he put a finger to my lips.

 “If I were you I would be very careful, Bjorn is not here and we are all alone. I could kill you and be done with it Silvee. I am not to be disrespected.” His face was so close to my own that I feared we were breathing each others exhaled breath.

 “You don’t scare me Ivar.” I cut my eyes and pushed up slightly on his chest.

 “That’s too bad, Fear tastes wonderful on anothers lips.” He grinned and his hand grasped my jaw tightly.

 “Blood tastes so much better…” I retorted and used all my strength to propel myself up and right into Ivars closed mouth with my forehead. He cursed as he went flying.

 “You made me taste my own blood..” He sat back and placed his fingers to his lips.

 “I’m not your play thing Ivar, I will kill you.” I pushed myself off the couch and went to the kitchen to get a rag for Ivar. I tossed the dishtowel over the couch where he sat on the floor and watched him press it to his still bleeding lip.

 “My brother does not deserve such a woman.” He smirked.

 “I know, but I love him.” I sighed and joined Ivar on the floor.

 “He will come back Silvee, you don’t need to worry.” He sighed into the towel.

 “As stubborn as that man is I'm sure he’s already buried himself in some shield maidens cunt. It is fine Ivar, I need to go home to my family anyway. All this has made me unwell.” I looked over at him momentarily consumed by his fathers eyes.

 “We will leave tonight then.” Ivar pulled himself up onto the couch and beckoned for me to join him.

“Yes tonight.” I stood and ruffled Ivars hair and went to pack a few things.

 The flight was very long and tiring. I turned in a notice to the company and left soon after. When we touched down Norway it was a freezing winter and I knew I would need new furs. My family and Ivars had not modernized and at our arrival to my village a huge feast was prepared. My mother was visiting Lagertha in Kattegat so there would be no avoiding the trip. We traveled by horse and reached Kattegat in one day. Upon Ivars return the Village hollered and cheered. The heathen Price had gained quite the following since my last visit.

 Ivar made sure to have me outfitted in new furs before we began our journey so I did not stand out like a sore thumb. We walked the rest of the way into the village and when we reached the hall I was not surprised to find some of my mothers guards outside the doors.

 “My you have grown Princess!” The Guard to the left exclaimed.

 “Ahh, Wager it is good to see you too. I assume mother is inside.” I smiled earnestly.

 “She is, would you like me to escort you inside?” He asked.

 “That wont be necessary, as you were.” I said politely and turned to Ivar.

 “Princess.. Heathen Prince.” He nodded and returned to his Stoney face and watchful eyes.

 I pushed open the double doors and immediately my eyes landed on Lagertha and my Mother. The both looked up and I watched a smile form on my mothers face.

 “Silve-enah! You are home!” She Exclaimed and in a swirl of long and beautiful material she crossed the wooden floors and wrapped me in her arms.

 “I have missed you mother! It has been far too long.” I laughed. She turned to Ivar and embraced him as well. My mother had always been quite the hugger so there would be no fighting it.

 “I trust your journey was not perilous?” She asked. I nodded in agreement and was surprised to find Lagertha beside my mother.

 “It is good to see you are well, when Bjorn returned alone I began to worry.” Lagerthas eyes roamed me and then Ivar. “The army requires your guidance Ivar.”

 “Then I shall guide them. Silvee I will be close should you need me.” He grinned and turned away to tend to his army.

 “It has been a long time since I have heard that name…” Rang out another voice that turned my blood to ice.

 “Bjorn, So nice of you to join us.” Lagertha said through pursed lips.

 Bjorn walked in from behind the thrones clad in his traditional furs and my words caught in my throat. He was just the same but somehow different. He radiated strength and authority.

  “Silve-enah, come we have many things to talk about.” He spoke, I did not respond but stared quietly.

 “Come Leenah, There are things I still want to show you around Katteget.” Lagertha held out her arm and my mother took it. She offered me a look of hope and departed.

  “You look well.” I said into the empty air. I had not moved from the entrance.

 “I am and how do you fare?” He asked sitting in his fathers chair at the highest point in the room.

 “Fine, thank you for asking.” I averted my eyes. I wanted to stand my ground with him but I knew what lie in his eyes.

 “I have chosen to remain here in Katteget, My mother means to step down from the throne soon and live out her days with your mother.” He said calmly.

 The rage that burned in my throat made the hairs on my skin stand at attention. I had come all this way for peace but instead found more conflict. This was not what I had expected and though the anger was mixed with tears I maintained my composure.

 “I should have guessed. My mother has been spending a lot of time here. If that is her wish I expect it will be my duty to return to Nepa.” I tried to keep an even tone.

 “It will, however I feel that our two villages will thrive much better if they are joined as one.” He clasped his hands in his lap.

 “But of course the relationship between Katteget and Nepa will remain allied.” a pit grew in my stomach.

 “You misunderstand. I will rule over both Katteget and Nepa, your mother already agreed.” He stood from his place and walked down towards me. He was everything I loved and hated all at once.

 “I see, then I will return to the states and continue to live my life out there, I have a successful career and many friends.” I attempted to take a step back but Bjorn reached forward and pulled me to his chest. His warm breath washed over my face as he leaned down, pressed his lips against mine and plunged his tongue into my mouth. Bjorn reacquainted himself using his hands to roam the contours of my body. I was having a difficult time forming coherent thoughts when his rough hands found my center. The sweet sting of his teeth against my neck and the electrifying friction between my thighs made me feel so out of control and yet I ached for him.

 “Silvee… I can not stop!” He said through kisses and rigid jaws.

 “I know… I-I fear sense is lost.” I breathed. Bjorn gripped my ass and pulled me up into his arms. Bracing us against the wooden doors. I was momentarily worried they would open but he had latched them. I reached forward to undo the strings to his pants and grasped his throbbing cock in my hand. I reached down to my own heat to spread my lips and then guided Bjorn inside. As I stretched around him I could not help the way his name fell from my lips. “Bjornnn” I Drug out the N. His pace started slow and hard, slowly winding the knot that was building in my abdomen. I hugged him closer trying to force his cock deeper than it had ever gone and it sent Bjorn into a frenzy. The steady “Clang… Clang…Clang” as my head hit the door over and over again made me even more wet.

 Crying out for him became useless so I sunk my teeth into his shoulder.

 “Ughhhhhh” His throaty growl sounded animalistic and wild.

 “Were going to alert the guards…” I panted.

 “Let them come… I want them to hear us..” He hissed. Sweat was glistening on his forehead and my chest. Bjorn turned from the door and carried me to the table, placing one hand on my stomach he used the other to lift my thigh to his side. The angle forced him so deep that he was roughly brushing my peak spot.

“I want you to cum around me…” He groaned and I couldn’t delay it any longer and I clenched around him as my body seemed to split in two and my voice became hoarse with the pitch of my moans.

Bjorn did not waste a moment, flipping me so that I was on my hands and knees before him. I felt the tickling of his beard as he kissed my exposed flesh and I arched my back. He slid into me once more and began to vigorously fuck me again. His large hand gripped my hip while the other wrapped around my neck forcing me to look back at him…..

 “Oh Gods Bjorn….”

 “The Gods cannot help you Silvee you can cry for them all you want.. Beg for me to let you cum..”

 “Please Bjorn, Please let me cum…”

 Bjorn grunted again and I could feel his hot seed flow into me and down my thighs.

 “Now you can come Silvee…” He pumped into me twice more and I came undone again and he did not release me.

 “You are not going back to the states you are going to be my bride and bring our sons into this world. Do you understand?” He breathed into my ear.

 “Bjorn please…” I wanted to say more but his grip prevented it.

 “NO….I am not giving you up.. I.. I Need you here.”

 “Okay.. I will stay with you.” I gasped when Bjorn released me and pulled out of me. He sat back in the chair and I turned around and stood from the table looking for my clothes.

 “Don’t bother…. I am not finished with you yet..” He reached down over his drenched torso to grip his cock. I sat back on the table edge and pulled my feet up. Gods we were fucked up but my body and soul was his. I had plans to make things uneasy for the both of us but for now I eyed him hungrily as he stood from the chair and sharply pushed my legs apart…..

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Forty-Nine

Mornings. Waking up. How long since I last got to experience such a thing? It felt like an eternity. Moving from place to place, I must have denied myself a life several times over.

Yet there I was, picking myself up off the floor which I had fallen asleep on.

Close by, a tapping sound was made. My attention turned to the sound; a knock on the door.

“Verse, breakfast time!” Trent's voice came in.

What was I doing here? Had I unconsciously made my way back home? But why? My journey wasn't done yet.

The memories of the day before came back to me all at once, like a migraine. I think I actually did have a migraine. Fuck.

I clutched the side of my head.

“I'm not hungry!”

“Can I come in?”

“No, I,” My body had trouble keeping its balance as I got myself up. I had to hold onto the wall for just a bit as I made my way to the door. “I'll be right there.”

Great. Both a rush of blood to the head AND a migraine.

I deserve this, don't I?

I opened the door and faced Trent, who looked both surprised and concerned.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” I groaned. “I just woke up. I'm fine.”

My stomach growled. I looked down.

“Oh, shut up, you!”

Ow. I felt sharp pains when I bent down to scold my stomach.

“Are you sure you're not hungry?”

When was the last time I ate? I couldn't remember that, either. Days didn't really seem to go on as I never really stayed in one place too long.

“I just don't want to eat,” I admitted.

“You didn't eat dinner, either.”

“I'm fine, I just...hsss,” the pain in my head increased and my grip tightened. “I have a migraine.”

“Here, I'll get you something. But you need to come out and eat. If you're going to stay the night here, the least you can do is share a breakfast with the rest of us.”

“All right,” I relented. I pressed my head against the wall and looked down. From my peripheral, I watched him close the door. “Thank you...”

What's gotten into me? I'm actually accepting help. Am I in such a weak, miserable state that I'm depending on others?

I adjusted my glasses and made my way out. That was another thing. I knew better than to sleep with my glasses on. They could have broke, not to mention how uncomfortable that was! Hm...maybe that was the cause of my migraine.

“What's gotten into me?” I muttered.

Outside the thing that was less a room and more a walk-in closet, I inched my way out, making feeble movements, and shambled to the kitchen.

Everyone else was already there, sitting down and eating. There was a smell of something cooked. Eggs and bacon? No thanks. Trent walked over with a cup of water. I held out my hands and he emptied his fist and handed me the glass.

“Take this,” he instructed.

“Thank you...”

“Guuuurl, you do not look okay!” Velvet called to me.

I looked over in her direction.

“Whoa, I'm just sayin'!”

I didn't even say anything? Was it the way I looked? My face?

There was an empty seat at the end of the table. I took to it and stared down at the tablecloth. I wanted to just rest my head against the table and not face anyone, but I knew I wouldn't be allowed that. Rather, I did what I could.

“Um...I don't eat meat,” I let Trent know. My words still came out weak.

“Oh, good to know. So no bacon, got it. What about eggs?”

“Eggs are fine.”

“French toast?”

“Yes, but look in the fridge. There should be a thing of almond milk in there. Use that.”

Let's see if I can still use my power when I have a headache...

“Oh, I see it! Okay, I'll make you some french toast with almond milk in the mix!”

Whew. The taste of almond milk always did make me happier than the taste of cow's milk. It was such a shame this world was dying out, I felt like with a clear head, the possibilities as to what I could conjure up would have been limitless.

Some time passed, the headache as well, and without a second thought, a plate was set next to me. Everyone else already started digging in. Trent sat close to Blanc, who rather than eating any kind of normal breakfast, was eating gummy fruit snacks. Velvet and her girlfriend (I presume) sat next to each other, as well, at the other end of the table. The last variable, she was at the far end, positioned so that even if we held the most distance from each other, she could stare me down if she so chose. That was something I wished to avoid.

I dug into the plate. Ah, I hate to take slow bites, but the warmth, the fluffiness...

“I see you're as generous as always, Trent,” I smiled, looking down at my plate, and reminisced.

“I guess, but what do you mean 'as always?' I thought we just met yesterday.”

Oh. Shit. Right.

“Did you meet me in another timeline?” He asked. I gulped. I wasn't sure if he actually believed what I had said, even if it was all true, but that wasn't the question I wished he would ask.

“No, most of you here I only met yesterday. Sorry, I think I'm confused. Maybe I'm still feeling a little unwell.”

“Well, hope you get better, it seems like everyone's counting on you.”

Blanc held out their bag of fruit gummies. “Maybe if you had a fruit snack, you'd feel better?” They suggested.

“No thank you,” I waved my hand away. “Gummy candies are made with gelatin in them, which is a pig fat. Most yogurts also contain gelatin.”

“Oh, that's cool! Didn't know pigs could be so awesome!”

“You must be really smart!” Juniper remarked.

“No, I just have values that I like to stick to.”

“Ooh, and what might those values be?” Blanc egged me on. Heh, eggs.

Am I feeling OK? Just a little loopy?

“I don't think I could name them,” I shrugged. “They're just there.”

“Oh yeah, huh! Just like some of the ingredients on the back of food boxes!”

“Heh, you're a silly one, aren't you?” I smiled. It felt genuine.

“Whoa, you made a literal 180 overnight! Where's the awkward-but-mean version we met yesterday?” Velvet asked.

“Oh, this is how I prefer to be,” I gave a chuckle. “It had just been days since I've allowed myself to eat anything, is all.”

The room felt silent. They all stared at me.

“You were starving yourself?!” Velvet gasped. Great. There goes the sweet time I was having.

“What? It's not a big deal. I can still take care of myself.”

I wanted to slam my head into the table. Why couldn't I just enjoy a normal time without me opening the mouth and killing the mood? Next thing I knew, the worst thing happened: Juniper, looking right at me, looking concerned.

“But Verse,” she asked. “What would your wife think if she knew you did that?”

“Are you doing this just to torment me?” I grumbled, staring down at the table, and not at her.

“No? What do you mean? I just don't think it's a good idea to do that to yourself. People care about you, you know...”

The fork hit the plate. The plate was empty. I got up out of my seat and took my dishes to the sink.

“Thank you for the meal,” I muttered, my tone coming out more dry than I meant it to. As I walked out of the living room, then to the guest room, I heard someone get up after me. Whoever it was should have known to tread with caution. By the time whoever it was approached, I already had my shoes on. I turned around to see Blanc.

“Headed out?”

“I just need some fresh air,” I explained.

“You're not planning to bail, are you?”

I shook my head. “No, not yet. I'm giving this a chance. It's just hard.”

“It's not her fault. She doesn't know. If you want, I could clue her in.”

“Why must you toy with a maiden's heart?”

“You? A maiden? Ha!”

I glared.

“I didn't choose my friends, I'm just happy to have them around,” they grinned as they gave their justification.

“Tell them we can make arrangements for tomorrow when I get back,” I instructed them.

Maybe they didn't use some cosmic power to make me encounter Trent and Juniper, but it still felt like a trick. I pushed past them and made my way out the door.

Well, that was fine! She just woke up and had a headache, of course she'd be a little moody! As for me, I was peachy keen, although, was I ever not? Hmm...moving on! I went back to the table and let them know the deets.

“Hello friends, I am back,” I greeted, then sat back in my seat and grabbed some gummy worms. Guess they were gummy worms and a little bit of pig. Who knew?

“Is she gonna be okay?” Juniper asked me.

“Oh yeah, totes,” I replied, mouth full of gummy worm. “Just had to blow off steam. You know what they say, Pompeii wasn't unbuilt in a day!”

“I've never heard that expression before,” Velvet remarked.

Birch, no, Corey...Andy...Coriander! Coriander had her arms crossed and scowled. There was a little bit of steam coming out of her, too, I could tell. In fact, I could sense a rant about to happen in three...two...one...

“We were having a good breakfast, weren't we? I know I was! I was having a mighty fine breakfast. Argh. Then this happened, and it's just, like, y'know? It's just like that! I want some more bacon!”

Trent shrugged. “Help yourself.”

“I will!” She roared. I watched as she got up, grabbed a handful of bacon off the skillet, shove it all into her mouth, then sat back down.

“Alright, so as I was saying,” she continued her rant, barely coherent. “Screw her, am I right?”

Oh hey, that was short! I thought she'd have an actual rant to go off on!

“No, I think she's going through a rough time and we need to be there for her,” Juniper suggested.

“That's real nice of you, but you shouldn't try to help someone who doesn't want help,” Velvet replied.

“She can help herself by screwing off,” Coriander continued. Oh, there it was. “Why'd she have to have such an attitude for? As if that's any way to act as a guest!”

“Pot, meet kettle,” Velvet groaned.

“Yeah, okay, but then she tries to act all sweet as if anyone's really going to fall for it! Plus, even when she's acting all nice, she gives out orders. Like how she wanted you to use milk fresh squeezed from almond titties! She shouldn't just boss people around like that. By the way, Trent, you should make some more bacon, I just ate it all.”

“Uh-huh...”

“I don't think it's an act,” Juniper suggested. “I think she's trying because she that's how she'd like to be.”

“Velvet, you don't like waking up in the morning and that's a fact!” Nope. Coriander still wasn't done. “Yet what did we all do? We woke up in the morning, sat for breakfast, and even made sure she came along. So what does she do? Storm off.”

“She just needed a breather,” I reminded them. “She doesn't mean any harm, and she'll probably come back and apologize. I'm sure she'll even try to make it up to everyone, somehow!”

“Are you sure?” Juniper asked.

“Not really, but I know her pretty well! She told me to tell you guys that when she gets back, we can all make preparations for tomorrow!”

“Hmph, and what if she doesn't show back up?” Coriander pressed. “What then?”

I shrugged. “Guess since the cat's out of the bag, I can still get you guys there.”

“Maybe you should do that,” Juniper suggested. “So that she can get back to her own place. It doesn't seem like she's enjoying it here and if we lift that burden off for her, maybe she'd be happier.”

Coriander growled; Velvet gave her a few shoulder pats and she calmed down.

“You can try, but don't be surprised if she's not too keen on the idea. She can be even more stubborn than you are, Velvet.”

“Hey!” Velvet took offense to that. Oops.

I yawned. “Well, you guys do what you want. It's not even close to noon yet, so I'm probably just going to take a nap on the couch until something interesting happens.”

Yes, by the way, I actually did sleep. Just fine, in fact. Yeah, who would've thought?

Out by the lake on the docks stood a guardrail which I leaned against. The breeze against my back brushed past my sides and blew my hair forward. I remained still.

After I procured a match and struck it, I placed the lit stick between my lips; it didn't taste very good. Not a moment after, I placed the burnt match between my two fingers and with my other hand, I tried to snuff the flame out by squishing it between my fingers, but instead, felt the burn, and with a jolt, tossed the match away.

“This doesn't spark joy,” I grit my teeth, and just like that, the burn was no longer felt. Likewise, the burn marks on the tips of my fingers disappeared.

“Looks like what worked for you doesn't work for me,” again, reminiscing. Over what, it didn't even feel worth mentioning. No, not that I thought I could mimic her in order to understand her. It wasn't even that I was seeking to understand her, just that I was lost.

“What would you have done in such a situation?” Those words already got swept up and thrown into the water. As to be expected. There wasn't an answer, unless I felt like conjuring up a ghost.

Ah, now there's an idea...

I shook my head. Not even that would have done me any good. I made my way back. As lost as I was, I just had to go back and do my best.

“No, it wouldn't have mattered if I knew what you would do. I'm not you.”

The thought was almost worth a laugh: the idea of asking advice from someone who couldn't answer, someone who no longer existed, and who when alive I considered an enemy. Alas, I held the laugh in and headed back toward the house.

“Now that that's out of my system, time to go back and apologize to everyone about breakfast. There are more important issues at hand than my personal bullshit.”

Yes. That was the right mindset to have.

As I crept back inside, that was the mindset I clung to. After closing the door, slow and quiet as to not reveal my presence right away, I crouched down to slip off my shoes.

“Verse! I'm so glad you're okay!” The familiar voice greeted me from the distance. I looked over, to see Juniper.

“You are?”

“Yeah! I was so worried when you left!”

I looked away. “I'm sorry to worry you. There's just been a lot on my mind and I've been under a lot of stress, that's all.”

“I don't blame you, what with the state the world's in. Plus, you're not even from here, so it probably comes as a shock to you!”

Hm...yeah. Maybe in a sense. Out of all he atrocities I could have predicted, the destruction of Earth due to the same thing Blanc was more or less merged with was not one of them.

“That is true, but I agreed to help, so that's what I'm going to do.” Even if I do still find such a thing a hopeless endeavor.

“Maybe you don't need to, though!”

Glad to see someone agrees with me after what I told Blanc last night. Still, I'm giving everyone a chance, just like they suggested, so what else was I supposed to do?

“What?”

“You should go to her, you're clearly not happy here. Plus it's probably better than spending time with someone like me.”

“ARE YOU FOR REAL?!” I snapped.

“What? I'm just saying, it would probably be better for you if--”

“I can't believe you!”

I rose to my feet and I could feel myself shaking.

“How many times have I told you? I don't want to talk about it! But it's always the same with you, isn't it? 'Wife this, wife that'! Just...shut up!”

She took a step back. “Was...was it something I said?”

“It's everything you said! Eve since I came here, you've been a thorn in my side, and I'm sick of it! For the duration that I'm here, I don't want to hear the word 'wife' come out of your mouth! I don't even want to think of the words 'Juniper' and 'wife' in the same thought! You got that?”

“Ye...yes!” Her voice came out a whimper as she pursed her lips and I watched tears stream down her face. As I stood there, she went and covered her face as she walked away and went right into the guest room next to the stairs.

“This is my fault, isn't it?” I spoke, my voice low. No one else was in the living room, save for Blanc, who looked asleep. I had my doubts, but I wasn't about to test them. I now had bigger concerns.

I never meant for this to happen. I just let my emotions get the better of me and because of me, I made her cry.

As I walked toward the door to the room where I had slept in, I approached with hesitance. Yes, how familiar. In this scenario as well, I didn't want to face her, not like that. But it was already too late, and I felt the need to try what I could.

It's useless. She already hates you and you can't take back anything you said.

I let out a deep breath and gave a light tap on the door, then opened the door.

“Hey...” My voice croaked, barely a whisper.

There she was, sitting in one of the chairs in the room, and sobbing into her hands.

“I know I don't really have any right to be in here after what I said, but I'm really sorry.”

“But you're right,” she sniffed. “You told me it was a sensitive subject and I just kept bringing it up anyway,” she sniffed again. “I just have trouble with social cues sometimes.”

“No, no, you did nothing wrong. It was all me.”

She looked up, her face was red and there were still tears coming down.

I remember wishing that if I could get Juniper to break down, she'd see that I was no good and hate me. But now I made her break down and all it feels is horrible.

“Here,” I handed her a tissue.

“Thanks,” she croaked, then blew her nose.

“Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was make you cry.”

She wiped her face. “You had every right to get mad, you said it was something that hurt you and I kept pressing it.”

I shook my head. “But I'm not hurt right now. Look, I'm fine!” I grabbed my cheeks and pulled them up so it looked like I was grinning. “See?”

“You shouldn't lie, you know.”

“Yes, you're right. But I'm only lying because I want to make you feel better.”

“You shouldn't pretend to be fine for my sake, either.”

I sighed. “You're right. But again, you did nothing wrong. I had no right to say those things to you and just because I've got my own problems doesn't mean I should have taken them out on you.”

“It's not that I meant to be hurtful. I wanted to help you.”

Right. I should have picked up on that.

“I know and I appreciate it. Don't think that I don't. I'm just not good at accepting help.”

“I do care about you, you know...”

Whatever her reason for saying that, I looked away. “Why? I'm a stranger.”

“You care about me and I'm a stranger.”

“No, you got it wrong, I...I'm just trying to be a better person.”

“I think you're already pretty good.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like how confident you seem, for starters. I could only wish to be as confident as you are.”

I chuckled at that. “You think I'm confident? It's all an act.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. Deep down I'm just a big scaredypuss.”

“You? But you act like you got it all together and you say whatever's on your mind.”

“That couldn't be further from the truth, either. Some things I shouldn't say out loud, and other things might have turned out better had I said what was really on my mind.”

“Well, if it's that, I could tell you were going through a hard time. You could say you're fine, but would a fine person starve herself?”

“No, I guess not. It wasn't even a conscious thing, to be honest. I've just been very neglectful with my life as of late.”

“It's easy to do, isn't it? Get wrapped up in other things, forget that you have a body.”

“Heh...I guess that's one way to put it.”

“You know, I think it's really sweet, actually, that you have a wi...sorry.”

“No, go ahead. Say it as many times as you want.”

“Are you sure?”

I nodded. Truth be told, it still felt a little uncomfortable.

“Okay, here goes: wife, wife, wife, wife.”

I laughed a little at that. It seemed funny in a cute way, how she said it.

“See? I'm not mad.”

Tears continued to stream down, even as she smiled. It seemed it was time to try a different tactic...

“You know what I do sometimes when I need to calm down?” I asked her.

She shook her head.

“I like to find an empty room, or somewhere where I think no one will hear me, I'll clench my fists, then yell whatever's bothering me, then unclench and let out a deep breath.”

“Does that work?” She asked.

Beats me. I've never tried it. I just made that up just now.

“Sometimes,” I replied. “Wanna try it?”

“Sure.”

She closed her eyes, clenched her fists, and a few seconds later, she yelled:

“I WANT SOMEONE TO TOP ME!”

...What was that?

After, she let out a deep breath and smiled.

“You're right! I feel much better.”

“The heck? I mean, uh, that's not quite what I meant, but okay!”

“Well, it's just like how Velvet has Coriander, and I'm like 'aww' but also 'damn I wish I had something like that', y'know?”

“Not...really?”

“Aren't those two just the cutest, by the way? I always like seeing cute couples.”

“Those two? Really? They're dysfunctional!” Okay, she was beginning to baffle me again.

“Yeah, but they make it look so cute!”

“I guess?” I thew out my hands in confusion.

At least it was a nice change of pace to be talking about something not centered on me.

“Is it okay if I say something else that's bothering me?” She asked with her warm smile I knew too well.

“Well, usually I would advise limiting it to one issue. If you start listing out everything that's bothering you, while it seems like a good idea, you could end up working yourself into a breakdown, which would be counterproductive when the goal is to calm yourself down.”

“So is that a no?”

“I will allow it. Although a risk is present in this method, said risk is not a guarantee. If it starts to look like you're getting worked up, I will be there to walk you through it and help you calm back down.

“Okay,” she drew in a breath. “Here goes.” Her cheeks were puffed up, which I had to hold back a laugh from the image.

“I DON'T LIKE BEING TREATED LIKE A LITTLE KID!”

After, she let out a deep breath, but this time, there were more, shorter, breaths that followed. If the previous statement she yelled caught me off guard, I was especially taken aback by that one.

“People are like, 'that Juniper, she's so adorable' when I don't know something, but that doesn't mean I'm not an adult and I want to be treated like a baby! I hear stuff like 'aw, she's so cute', but if it's just because people think I'm childish, then I don't like it. Yeah, it's nice being fawned over, but, but, but--”

“Deep breaths. Remember, deep breaths. It's hard to tackle more than one thought at a time.”

Thankfully, she listened to me. With a slow, deep inhale, then exhale in equal measure, she regained composure.

“...Do you really think people treat you that way?” I found myself asking.

“I-I don't know. It just feels that way sometimes. It's okay in small doses, but sometimes I just start to wonder if that's all they see in me.”

“That's not why I love with you,” I let slip.

“What was that?”

“What I mean is, if I should have been treating you like you aren't an adult, it never crossed my mind to. Yes, I've been really harsh, but I've still viewed you as an equal. What I like, and what I find sweet about you, is your kindness and willingness to help others. I can't say for sure what others think of you, but I think what people end up drawn toward is your sunny disposition. There's nothing wrong with being cute or liking cute things and you can still be an adult while doing so.”

“You think so?”

I nodded.

“You're kind, too, you know that?”

“No, I--” I stopped myself before I could finish that thought. “Thank you.”

“Your wife must be really lucky to have you.”

Really, it was the other way around.

“Yeah.”

“Do you think she and I would be friends?”

“I think so.” That wasn't really a thought I wanted to entertain, but oh well.

“I wish I could meet her.”

“Yeah, she'd probably like that.”

Except that could never happen without one of you two dying.

She tilted her head to the side and smiled. Rather than look away like I had done so before, I found myself staring back and smiling as well. We must have sat like this in silence until she broke it, herself.

“Oh! I just thought of something!” With that, the spell was broken, and I jolted.

“Oh?”

She got up and ran out of the room. I continued to sit in place.

What was I doing?

I looked around. Not that it didn't catch my attention yesterday, but it really was such a small space, and with two chairs just coincidentally occupying it just lessened the space so much more. With that in mind, how did I manage to get to sleep at all last night?

The real question is: what am I doing? Focusing on the layout of the room at a time like this?

That too must have been a spell, as I broke from that trance as well once the door opened back up, with Juniper coming into frame. She leaned forward, her hands behind her back, and smiled bright. It filled me with the fear that I may start to turn red with how close she was. Any closer and I would have sworn that her breath would have met my own.

“Okay, hold out your hand!” She instructed, although it sounded more like a cheer than an order, like something out of a pep rally.

I closed my eyes, as my mind was already going several places as to what that might entail. Just as she ordered, I held out my left hand. I felt her place something through and brush against my wrist. When I opened my eyes, she was standing up with one hand on her hip.

“Well, what do you think?”

The thing in question was a bead bracelet with letters between each bead. “B-E,” a heart shaped bead, then the next four letters, “K-I-N-D”.

“Be kind,” I read aloud. “Good reminder.”

“I know, right? But not just to others! It's a reminder to be kind to yourself!”

“Thank you. I'll treasure it.”

“Yeah, you better! That bracelet would've cost you a couple bucks on my Etsy!”

“What-see?”

“It's an online place where you can sell crafts you make!”

“I see,” I suppose that was as fitting to how I knew her than anything else. Really, the differences between the Juniper I knew and this one seemed minimal.

“C'mon, let's get up. I'm sure everyone else would love to see your smile!” She held out her hand.

“Sure, if I haven't pissed everyone off...”

“Hey! Look at the bracelet again!”

I gave a little chuckle at that. “Okay, you got me.” I took her hand, and together, we left the room.

As soon as we exited the room, we were surrounded by the others. Velvet and spice girl right outside the kitchen, Trent and Blanc both seated at one of the couches.

“Whoa! Talk about sudden development! You two are holding hands now?!” Velvet reeled back, in shock, though her expressions seemed more comical than genuine.

“Wha...AAA,” I didn't even realize that was the case, and as soon as Velvet said something, I let go.

“I swear, it's not what you think!” I scrambled to cover my image.

“We were worried about her,” Velvet explained. “When I heard her shout how she wanted to be topped, I was gonna run to her aid, but then decided to give you two privacy.”

Coriander glared and elbowed Velvet in the stomach. I heard a squeaky “ow” emit from the so-called 'badass'.

“Um...let's move on to serious business, shall we? We were gonna talk strategy, right?”

“Ohhhh, that's right! Fleshlight stuff!”

“Flashbulb,” I corrected.

“That was a test and you passed.”

I groaned. Who was I kidding? Change would never be absolute. Being surrounded by dorks was just not my ideal environment.

“Hey Ves,” Blanc turned to me. “Er, Verse. If I may make a suggestion, I think you should sit in that chair rather than the couch. Velvet, you're okay sitting where you were yesterday, at the other end of the couch. Coriander, that other chair next to Velvet? Perf.”

“Why?” I stood confused.

Blanc sat up and shrugged. “Eh? Feng Shui.”

“Sure, I'll take your suggestion. I think I prefer the chair, anyway.”

“As for me, it's a great metaphor: So close to my beloved that we could reach out to each other, but there's the end of the couch and the end of the chair signifying us as star-crossed,” Velvet concurred. If she was trying to wax poetic, it only came off as corny.

“You're smelly and gross and I would never be your Romeo,” Coriander spat back at Velvet.

Well, in any case, once we all took to our seats, I began the meeting.

“Now, let's get started: tomorrow, we will all--”

My statement got cut out. In its place was a cloud of smoke as the wall behind the couch tore open and the couch itself broke in two.

“MY HOUSE!” Trent called out.

I covered my face with my arm, but I couldn't tell how the others were. My heart started to race once more.

Have we been attacked? So soon?

“WHAT UP, ASSHOLES? IT'S ME, YA BOI!” Yelled out a voice through the darkness. I watched as the smoke cleared and the figure of someone in an odd suit of armor appeared.

Is this someone The Flashbulb sent to kill us all?

“Kelly Roger?” Velvet replied to the armored figure. “Is that you?”

“Hell yeah! Finally someone I recognize!” The figure took off their helmet and some curly haired redhead was now in view. I watched as who I assumed to be this 'Kelly Roger' person walked over to Velvet and held up a hand. Velvet high-fived the stranger.

“What are you doing here? I thought you died,” Velvet asked.

“Okay, you guys won't believe this, but here goes: I'm, like, from another dimension!”

Nobody replied to that.

Who does this make now? Three?

“What? Why do none of you look surprised? I'm, like, the tighest shit y'all ever shat!”

“Well, I thought it was a neat twist,” Velvet replied.

“Right on! At least one of you gets it!” Kelly Roger held up a hand again. Velvet shrugged, then high-fived again.

“So, what brought you here?”

“Okay, so lemme go ahead and tell my tragic backstory. Y'all ready?”

Nobody gave a response.

“I got mixed in with some bad folks and I lost access to my body pillows and figurines! It was tragic as FUCK!”

“Oof, that does sound rough,” Velvet replied.

“Oh yeah, not only that! But then I met a girl and it was like love at first sight!”

“Good for you, proud of you, KR.”

“Yeah, but then some shit happened and I left her behind.”

“I know how that is, buddy,” Velvet gave Kelly Roger a pat on the shoulder.

“WHAT?!” I cried out.

“Yeah, it was real sad 'n shit,” Kelly Roger added. “Like, some Lifetime movie BS.”

“Wow, I never thought I'd hear someone go through something similar as me.”

“HELLOOOO? I HAVE? I'M RIGHT HERE!” I waved my hands around, pointed to myself, the whole deal. Those two continued to ignore me, though.

“Yeah, well, anyway, she wasn't even into me, plus she was kind of a loser. So no big loss,” they added.

“Oh,” Velvet sounded just a tad surprised by that. “Well, good for you, then?”

“This is ridiculous!” I crossed my arms.

“That's the saddest story I've ever heard,” Juniper wiped her eyes as if she were weeping.

“YOU TOO?!”

“Anyway, I picked up this cool suit that allows me to warp through dimensions so now I'm just warping around between different versions of Earth until I find one where I save the day and I'm a hero!”

“Listen to me, young man,” I addressed the armored figure. “You can't just keep going around to different universes willy-nilly! There are consequences.”

Kelly Roger turned to me. “Y'know, just for that, I'm gonna be a girl today.”

I applied my palm to my face, as if everything I said was just a joke to this person.

“This is serious! Every time you go to a different universe, the version of you that belonged to that universe dies!”

“Oh, yeah. I already knew that. That's part of why I'm doing this.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, after a few universes of not coming out on top, I started to realize the one thing that kept standing in my way: me. So now I'm going around to every universe to make sure I die, that way I'm more free to defeat the likes of Marco and Etna.”

“Are you serious?! You're just going to genocide yourself?!”

“THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!” Kelly Roger roared.

“Ah, a Highlander reference,” Trent acknowledged.

“Shut up, old man,” Kelly Roger pointed. “I don't know what the fuck that is and I don't give a shit.”

“Fair enough,” Trent shrugged.

“Am I the only sane person here?!” I looked around and cried out.

“Nah, bruh. That would be me,” Kelly Roger replied. In fact, they were the ONLY one who replied.

“Oh, COME ON! This is ridiculous! Blanc, back me up here!”

“Mm...this is some good popcorn,” Blanc tossed handfuls of popcorn into their mouth from a bowl that wasn't there just a minute ago.

This is so unfair, Blanc! Leaving me to fend for myself amongst this nonsense!

“Hey, now that I think of it, you look kinda like Etna,” Kelly Roger turned back to me. “Took me a few universes, but I finally got her name and learned that it is indeed, not Kizuna AI's distant cousin.

“I am and I will kill you,” I growled.

“Cool. On that note, I should probably skidaddle.”

“Conrad wanted me to tell you something,” Blanc called to Kelly Roger before the armored idiot could leave.

“Eh? That loser? Well, spit it out.”

“Yeah, Conrad said he was very proud of you and there wasn't anyone quite as good as you at what you do!”

“Really? He said that?”

“Mhm!”

“Heh. I thought you were a lame-o because you were Conrad's androgynous lover.”

“Close enough!”

“But eh, you're not so bad.”

“Aww, you mean that?”

“I don't have to mean anything. God, you're such a loser,” Kelly Roger's face turned to that of disgust.

“Heh, fair enough!”

“Blanc?! Are you just going to take that?!” I cried out.

“Why not? It's true, isn't it?” Blanc shrugged.

“Anyway, I'm off to go kill myself!” Kelly Roger turned away and waved bye.

“Have fun!” Both Blanc and Velvet called out.

Have fun?! What kind of response is that?!

...with that, the being known as 'Kelly Roger' vanished. The damage, of course, was already done. The wall was destroyed, the couch was torn in two, and I was about to rip all my hair out in frustration.

“Okay, Verse, what were you gonna say about the plan for tomorrow?” Velvet asked.

“Really?!” I threw my hands up. “We're all just gonna brush aside what just happened?!”

Velvet shrugged. “I mean, sure. Didn't seem all that plot relevant.”

“Yeah, and besides, at this point, we're kinda used to random shit like that,” Coriander added.

“You were saying about tomorrow?”

“No,” I got up. “I can't do this right now. I'm at wit's end! This is all just too much for me! I need a chill pill!”

“Valid.”

I was about to head into the kitchen to grab a cup of water when I passed Blanc, who started saying in a sing-song voice, “sure is fun to be a loser.”

“Hey!” I faced Blanc. “Don't say that about yourself!”

They turned to me, smiling wide, because of course. “Why not?”

“You don't actually think that about yourself, do you?”

“Maaaaaybeeee.”

“You listen here, as your personal therapist, I will not have you calling yourself a loser. You got that?”

They started to laugh. “Sure, if it pleases you!”

“You are not a loser!” I barked. “You got that?”

“Why's it matter so much to you, anyway?”

“You gave me a chance when I probably didn't even deserve one, so I won't stand here and listen to you self-deprecate!”

“You're funny. You just did what you told me not to do in the same sentence!”

“Grr...I want you to say one positive thing about yourself! I won't leave until you do!”

“I don't see what's so bad about being a loser, I mean, I've had my share of losses, right?”

“You've accomplished plenty and you know it! Now one thing!”

“Okay! I've made friends!”

“That's good, but that's not something about you.”

“Sure it is! I mean, there's people who I've made friends with who don't even like making friends and yet they still ended up considering me their friend! That's gotta be worth something.”

“Heh. I see,” I closed my eyes and smiled. “I'll accept that.”

“Wait just a second. Personal therapist? Really? Some therapist you are! You didn't help me with jack shit when I talked with you yesterday!” Coriander butted in.

I sighed. “Yes, well, I've been out of practice and dealing with my own things. Even therapists have problems.”

“Mm, yeah! She's really good, actually! She helped me!” Juniper jumped to my defense.

Aw, thanks not-hun.

“All right, you're off the hook now,” Coriander warned.

When was I ever ON the hook?

“I have an idea! Since you're kinda burnt out and I'm a bit of a procrastinator anyway, how about we just figure out a plan as soon as we're about to leave tomorrow?” Velvet proposed.

“That's stupid,” I groaned.

“Come on, I thought I was onto something here!”

“We shouldn't just run into something blind. Maybe that worked for you in the past, but as a group, that's recipe for disaster.”

“I have an idea!” Juniper jumped in. “What if we all threw a party tonight that way we're not super nervous about tomorrow?”

“Actually...that doesn't sound too bad,” I replied.

“How is what I proposed any different?” Velvet seemed confused.

“Well, you didn't propose a party,” I pointed out.

“You're just taking her side because you like her,” Velvet added.

“What? No, no, no! I've hardly met her! Or you, or anyone else but Blanc for all that matter. Even with Blanc, I would hold no special favor toward them, so I really don't see how you could get that impression!”

“Yeah, and besides, Velvet, if you mean like in 'that' way, she's a married woman! I'm sure she's faithful!” Considering who said that, the irony cut deep.

“Okay, fine, y'all got me there,” Velvet conceded. “So how about this, then? We'll throw a party, and I'll go out and get the supplies.”

Coriander nudged. “Is this just an excuse to go to your ship?”

“I won't deny that the thought crossed my mind, but nah, a party ain't a bad idea. In fact, maybe I should make a list of things to get while I'm out.”

“Champagne!” I blurted out.

“You sure alcohol's a good idea considering what you told me last night?” Blanc asked. Their concern was not unwelcome, but I had to set the record straight.

“Please, Blanc, I'm an adult woman. Who would I be if I couldn't handle my liquor?”

“If that's how you measure being an adult, I don't wanna know what your definition of 'maturity' is,” Blanc muttered.

“What was that? Have a death wish? Hm?” My eye twitched.

“Okay, champagne, got it,” Velvet jotted down. I didn't know she had a notebook and pen all ready to go. “Anything else?”

“Smoked salmon, crackers, some kind of dip to go with it,” Trent spoke up. Seemed rare for him to input anything at all. “Maybe some cauliflower, carrots, a ranch dip.”

“Healthy, I see. You know, these are End Times and all, so can't guarantee I'll find any of those things, but I'll do my best.”

“Great! I've been wanting to eat healthier for a while now.”

“Fuck that! We only live once, and like Velvet said, world's ending! Be a little more creative!” Coriander rebutted.

“We do only live once, but we also all live an infinite amount of times!” Blanc jumped in. “Because there are an infinite number of us! As for me, I've already lived and died a few times!”

“Yeah, okay, Blanc, but what do you want me to get while I'm out?”

“Fruit snacks!”

“Somehow I knew you'd say that.”

“Kinda fucked up how jello shots aren't vaccines you get to prevent the jello disease,” Blanc added.

“Are you saying you want Jello shots, Blanc?”

“No, I don't like needles.”

“You know that's not what they are, right?”

“Yeah, that's what makes it so fucked up!”

Juniper walked over to Velvet and whispered something in her ear.

“You know, you don't have to whisper. We're all adults here,” Velvet replied.

“Yeaaah, but it's embarrassing!”

“Okay, hard or soft?”

“B-Both!”

“'Kay. Couple bottles of apple cider.”

Really? That was so embarrassing?

“Well, I think I got a good idea of what everyone wants, so looks like I should head off,” Velvet got up.

“Wait just a finger-fucking minute!” Coriander got up after Velvet. “How are you gonna carry all those things yourself? Obviously you're hopeless on your own, so I'm coming with you!”

“'Kay.”

'Finger-fucking'? Did she have to choose those words?

“Ooh! Ooh! Can I come with you two! I think it'll be easier to pick out stuff if I join in!” Juniper raised her hand and beamed.

“Sure, three's company.”

“If she's going, I should go with her! I ought to keep her safe!” Was what should have come from my mouth, but instead came from her brother's.

“Trent, with all due respect, she doesn't need you following her around all the time. She's just as independent as any of us,” I stepped in.

“You know, you're right,” he sighed. “She's always been pretty good on her own, I've just been so used to her living with me and not having an income of her own that I forgot about that.”

“Well, it's easy to see where you're coming from. I don't think it's a bad idea for you to go outside,” I told him, even though I glanced over at Blanc and winked. “In fact, maybe you should get out of the house for a few hours. Take a walk, do something fun, maybe stare off into the water and contemplate things!”

“So it'll just be you and Blanc at home?”

“Sure! We'll get the house all cleaned up while you guys are away! It'll be great!”

He mouthed the word 'wow', then said, “you sure have been a fine addition to this household.”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“Well, at first you were contentious, but now I feel like you've lived with us for a while.”

“Wha..a...a...I! I swear that couldn't be further than the truth!”

He laughed. “I know, it's just a figure of speech. I think Ol' Conifer Bark would have liked to have met you.”

“Ah, your mom sure was something,” I recalled.

“You knew her?”

“Err...no! Just the impression I got!”

“Ah, right. Well, it's settled. Take care of the house while we're all gone!”

I raised up a thumb. “You bet I will!”

As soon as everyone dispersed and Blanc and I were the only ones left in the house, it was time to get to work.

Guess all she needed was a nice chat with her not-wife for her to start making improvements. Worked for me, now if only I could figure out why she wanted to stay in the house while everyone else went out.

“Hey Blanc,” she turned to me. “I think it's time to undo all the damage done.” Although dramatic in her tone, she smiled the whole way through. I, on the other hand, was bored. It would have been better to just skip forward a few hours in time to the time of the party.

“Do you have to make it sound so serious? Just do what you're going to do,” I droned.

“You know how I roll. Nothing without its weight.”

“Yeah, yeah, just wave a magic wand or something and call it good.”

Her face lowered. “Couldn't you let me have my fun? Ah, very well,” she sighed. “I just think it would make me happier to help everyone else, even if it's something so small as making the house be like it was before that 'Kelly Roger' person broke through.”

“If that's what makes you happier, I'm all for it,” I gave my approval.

She waved her hands around, as if just to stim, but if I had to guess, it was to make up for the lack of a magic wand.

Just conjure a magic wand up and don a magician hat! Shouldn't be too hard!

Regardless, in a flash, the couch was back intact and all the destroyed bits of it were no longer scattered on the floor. The wall behind the house also reappeared. All in all, an adequate job.

“Bravo! Bravo! Now destroy it again so you can repair it again!” I clapped.

She gave a little laugh and did so and I was sure it was purely for my own amusement.

“Again! Again!”

“No, once is enough,” she laughed. “But that was a little fun, I gotta admit.”

“Yeah, so you see, you can hurt, but you can also heal!”

“Hey now, just because I'm in a good mood does not mean I need a lecture.”

I started juggling some balls. Badly. See, even with my ability to make things appear, it still didn't make up for talent. Still, I kept trying, just for the heck of it.

“Whatever mood you're in, I approve!”

“Thank you,” she smiled back. I watched her go into the kitchen and get that much needed glass of water she said she would get just a bit ago.

“You know, I think I'm starting to remember what it is that made me like her in the first place,” she said after sipping a nice, refreshing glass of...what the hell does water even taste like? Y'know, that would never not bug me. How do you describe water besides water?

“Well, that's good, but try not to get too comfortable,” I pointed out.

“Why not? Isn't this better than being bitter? Let me have this!”

“I'm just saying, it's good you two are getting along, but I think it would be good to remember she's not the one you're married to.”

“I'm not gonna cheat on Juniper with Juniper!”

I snorted. God damn! It was worth it just to hear her say that.

“Nah, wasn't suggesting that. Good point, though. I'm just worried about you, y'know? If you start getting the wrong idea, you may feel good now, but then you'll bring yourself back down. Plus, you're only here for a little while.”

“I know,” she groaned. “I knew that the moment I came here. Sheesh, for someone who's merged with a literal happiness angel, you sure are being a buzzkill.”

“You can still have fun! And besides, I have a feeling you'll make that mistake anyway and get yourself hurt, but that's probably what's gong to lead you to be happy! So it's all okay!”

“You know, I really don't remember why we're friends.”

“Because I'm fun!”

She went over and sat next to me.

“I never thought I'd get so comfortable with someone who looks just like the main villain!”

“Don't remind me,” she sounded exhausted rather than mad.

I decided to get up. No offense to her, quite the opposite! I ran up the stairs, went into to Velvet and Coriander's room, then ran back down the stairs.

“What is that?” She pointed to the thing in my hands.

“It's a Nintendo Switch! It's not mine and Coriander would hate it if I took it, but let's play some games while everyone's away!”

So there we were, sitting together as I taught her how to play Animal Crossing. I think it helped take things off her mind just for a bit. Tomorrow was tomorrow, but having fun was good for the now!

We all arrived home at the same time as if by some miracle. As I made my way back home, Coriander and Juniper also carrying bags of looted goods in tow, Trent looked to be walking back toward the house, too. We didn't comment on the coincidence, though it seemed a little interesting that it all worked out that way. Once we arrived, we were in shock.

“What happened to the living room?” Trent gasped. “It's like it never got destroyed!”

Verse stood up and that's what led me to remember just how tall she was. It was like a giant awakening from slumber.

“Blanc and I fixed it!”

“How?” Trent asked. It seemed he couldn't fathom how that was possible. Honestly, I didn't think I could blame him.

“Hard work and dedication!” She winked and gave a thumbs up.

“Magic,” Blanc looked up from Coriander's Switch and seemed to correct her. Coriander seemed not to notice that they were playing on her switch. Verse gave Blanc a glare in response to Blanc's correct.

“The magic of hard work and dedication!” She reiterated, thumb still up, her smiling.

“Well, thank you both! I couldn't be happier!” Trent exclaimed.

“Good, because I didn't actually do anything!” Blanc replied.

Not only that, but there were decorations all over the ceiling, the coffee table got reworked into the designated table with a punch bowl. Yeah, safe to say, I was impressed.

“Oh, right!” I got all caught up in the living room's transformation that I forgot to hand out the goodies. I walked over to tall lady, herself. “Verse, here's your champagne.”

She swiped the bottle from me and held it close.

“My precious,” she hissed.

Blanc nudged. “We poppin' the biggest corks, eh? Eh?”

“Trent, I hate to tell you this, but I didn't find any smoked salmon, so instead we got you some sushi.”

“But I eated it!” Coriander chimed in.

“...That's why we then went and got you some more sushi.”

“Gee, thanks! Those are also good!”

“Juniper, for you, two bottles of cider: one bottle of Screaming Trees hard cider, the other a nice soft case of Martinelli's.”

“Yay! You're the bestest!”

Coriander tossed Blanc a huge bag of fruit gummies. “Don't spend it all on one place, kiddo!”

“I thought of getting you gummy bears, but then I thought you would say 'all life is precious, I couldn't bear to kill a gummy bear', so I passed.”

“Thanks for being considerate, Velvet!” Blanc grinned.

“No problem, bud! As for Coriander and I, we're just gonna gorge ourselves on pizza and root beer. Though it wouldn't surprise me if she slipped some alcoholic root beer into the bag when I wasn't looking.”

“I live on the edge!” My lifelong roommate declared.

Yes, I think I did a pretty good job, if I did say so myself. There was one last thing to say:

“With that out of the way, let the party commence!” It hadn't even turned to dusk, but best to get the festivities going as soon as possible.

...At least that's what I thought. By the time it was actually late at night, I was certain I was the only one that wasn't shitfaced. Well, there was Blanc, too.

“Isn't it odd that there's a drink called a screwdriver but apparently it's not actually a screwdriver in liquid form?” Blanc went around the room and asked us each at random intervals.

In Blanc's case, it sounded more like a high than a drunkenness.

Verse was sitting at a chair, musing with a glass of her champagne.

“To drink or not to drink, that is the question, right Mr. Skull?” She laughed and a bit of her drink spilled onto her lap. “Aye, these seas be rough, matey!” She laughed again. “Oh, Mr. Skull! I can't be Hamlet, because you're not a skull, you're a glass of champagne!”

“You know, I don't know why Blanc thought her getting drunk was a bad idea,” I remarked. “This is the happiest I've seen her.”

“O Captain, my Captain!” She bellowed. “Pour me another glass!”

I went over to her. “Everything all good, cap?”

“VELV!” She was excited to see me. “I'm so glad you're here, I love you so much!”

“Uh...okay...”

“You could,” she hiccuped. “You could change your name to Red Cedar.”

“No thanks.”

“Aw, give it a try!”

Yeah, moving on.” I walked around. Laying on one of the couches was sleeping pixie. I mean, beauty.

“Hey babe,” I nudged her shoulder.

She snored.

So now I know what she's like when she's drunk. She just passes right out.

That just left Juniper, but she didn't seem to be paid much mind. She was just standing next to the table where the punch bowl was and chatting it up with her brother.

I was about to go sit down when I noticed Verse get up and go to the punch bowl. Something stirred in me, like I should watch what would happen next.

“I need a punch! Right in the gut!” She hiccuped and swayed on over to the punch bowl.

“Oh hey, it's Versey-Verse! Good to see you, BDSM Therapy Librarian! You know, I was just chatting with Trent about solipsism and then I got distracted thinking about how I don't actually know what the 'self' is! Isn't that funny, like we're just standing here, but are we really ourselves? You know, don't answer that, I'm drunk!”

Ah, I see. Juniper gets really chatty when she's drunk.

“I'm just here for some punch,” Verse replied.

“Yeah, funny that, that punch thing! I've always wondered what fruits go into a fruit punch, like I'm pretty sure one of them is apple, and maybe there's an orange, but what accounts for the red? Is it strawberry? Raspberry? Oh, it doesn't matter! In the end, they all come together to form that thing we call a fruit punch, and I think that's what life is all about. See, my brother here's kinda like you, he gets all worried a lot about things and holds a lot in, so maybe that's how I can tell that something was up with you.”

“I think there are too many things going on at once,” Verse spoke, still in her silly drunken stupor, but the closest thing to her usual phrases I've heard all evening.

“Yeah, so as I was telling Trent, you just gotta do what's right for you!”

“But you're what's right for me,” Verse spoke in a whimper.

“What? Was that flirting? I can't tell if that was, I'm never good at telling when someone's flirting with me, so if that's what it was, can you tell me? But anyway, don't you have a wife? Why would you be flirting with me?”

“You're my wife!” She cried out, then left the living room sobbing.

Rather than run into the guest room that she had been staying in, she ran up the stairs, where there were three different bedrooms she could have ran in.

Now I see, Blanc. Now I see.

I sighed. “Looks like I gotta be the designated talker tonight.”

Before going up to console her, I went over to Coriander, as I knew if she walked in on us, she was prone to getting the wrong idea. So I nudged Coriander again, and this time, she woke up, if only a little.

“Hey, a lot of drama stems from poor communication, so I'm trying to nip this one in the bud. So just to let you know, I'm going to go upstairs to get intimate with a very tall lady. Don't wanna alarm you.”

“Mm...okay,” she replied. “Can you give me a kiss goodnight?”

“No, you're drunk.”

“Okay,” she smiled, then went back to sleep.

The fuck? It was that easy.

One task done, one left to go.

It took me a few rooms before I got it right, but finally I found her. There were gadgest and gizmos and stuffed rabbits. If I had to guess, it was probably Juniper's room. Even when I entered, Verse didn't seem to notice me, she was instead sobbing on the back of a futon.

“I'd say she'd get mad if she found out you were in her room, but let's be real, she's probably gonna pass out in the middle of the living room tonight.”

She turned to me, and leaped back in shock.

“What am I doing here? Where am I?”

Did she sober up already? I wasn't sure if that was really the case.

“You're in sweet little Juniper's room,” I told her.

“Sweet...little...” She gasped and started hitting her head against the cushion of the futon. “This is terrible, so terrible!”

“It sure is something, alright.” I went to sit next to her on the futon. “So what's going on?”

“She continued to sob. “I...I miss her.”

“Who?”

“Juniper.”

“Well, you can still see her.”

“She probably hates me.”

“Nah, she probably just figures you were saying weird things because you were drunk. Which, she's drunk, too. You two can still talk.”

“No, I mean my wife! I miss Jun,” she hiccuped. It sounded like she said Junko.

“Junko? Your wife's name is Junko?”

She nodded, then looked confused. “Who's Junko?”

“I don't know, you tell me!”

“I'm just upset because when I look at her, she reminds me of my wife, and it hurts so much. I get so confused.”

“Who? Juniper?”

“Yes! Then there's all the questions and it's just a lot. I just wish I could look at her and see someone else!”

“I don't understand.”

“It's like she's there, but it's not her, and I want so bad to be with her, but it's not her!”

“Again, I'm confused.”

“It's like I've been close to being happy, but I just don't deserve to be.”

Huh, where have I heard that one before? Oh right, me.

“Why don't you think you deserve to be?”

“Because!” She continued to weep. “It seems all I do is hurt people, and the worst part is, sometimes I even enjoy it.”

“Oh girl, you bad. You real bad,” I teased.

“I know!” She cried out, then cried some more for good measure.

“Whoa, I was just kidding. I mean, it's probably not that bad.”

“It is! I know it is and I can't stop! Even tonight!”

She was being a lot more coherent than when she was drunk downstairs, but I knew she was still drunk. I could tell because she was one of those 'emotional' drunk types, which I used to be as well. Now it made total sense why Blanc warned her. I was starting to piece together how much of an idiot she could be at times.

“Hey,” I rubbed her back. “She's fine. Everyone's having a good time. Nobody's hurt.”

She faced forward, but started sobbing into her hands rather than the cushion of the futon. I couldn't tell which was the better option. Now her hands were gonna be all gross with tears and snot.

“Why are you being nice to me?” She poked her head out from her palms and asked.

“Because I'm bored? Because you're a friend of a friend? Because you being in a bad mood kills the vibe? What does it matter?” I picked up a stick and started poking her with it. “Hm?”

“Hey! Stop poking me! Where'd you get that stick, anyway?”

“Never mind that. That's not important now.”

“I miss her, I really do. It just makes the fact that I can't see her all that harder,” she went on.

“Why? Why can't you go back and see her?”

“Because I hurt her and I can't face her. Now I'm going up against an entity that's larger than any of us and I probably won't survive.”

“Don't talk like that. Nothing's set in stone. Let's say you do survive, and you are able to go back to her.”

“I don't think she would accept me,” she wiped her face. “I've failed her, just like I've failed myself and others so many other times.”

“You know, I bet I have an idea why Blanc wants to help you.”

“Why? Why would they be relevant right now?”

“Well, it's just that they went through similar things. Not the whole love life thing, but they were really down on themselves a lot and didn't have a bright outlook on things. I remember how they told Conrad once how they didn't belong anywhere and how they wanted to. With Blanc, they used to go about thinking they didn't fit into any group, and how no one would love and accept them, and how all they wanted was to be happy. So if they're happy now, and they have friends, even if we're not perfect people, I'd say I'm happy for them.”

“Really?” She began to look down. “I mean, I already knew, to an extent. When they got their new arm, I remember asking if they were okay not having their memories and living with my wife and I and they said they were happy like that.”

“Dang, so they lived with you two?”

“Two? Three? There was...hm...yes. We lived together. It was like an abstract family, of sorts.”

“Odd, but if they wanted a family who loved them, even if those people weren't much older than them, makes sense.”

“Then they told me about you and Conrad later, and how they missed you guys, but wasn't sure if you thought of them as a friend as well.”

“Yeah, I still don't think they're perfect. But I think it's good that they got what they wanted, in a way.”

“What does all that have to do with me, though?”

“Well, if you got what you wanted, wouldn't it make you happy, even if it felt like hell to get there?”

“I've tried that. It didn't work. I've done what I thought was right for me, too, but it all led to disaster. The only thing that's right for me is death.”

“Don't talk like that! Didn't you scold Blanc over self-deprecating? You may not have found what's right for you, or you might know what's right for you, but it wasn't right for you at the time.”

“I want to see her again! So bad! But I feel like I already ruined that!”

“Well, did you? Was it or was it not a break up?”

“It wasn't, but it may as well have been!”

“If it wasn't, doesn't that mean there's still a chance?”

She nodded. “But what if I fail again? What if she doesn't accept me?”

“Then you fail. You move on. It hurts, but that doesn't mean all you will do for the rest of your life is fail.”

“You're right,” she wiped her face again. “I have to do this, don't I?”

“You don't have to do anything. You can do whatever you feel like doing. But if that's what you feel like you should do, then yeah. Go for it.”

Then it happened: she hugged me.

“Th-Thank you!” She blubbered. “You're a good friend!”

“Jeez,” I struggled to break free. “You're so tall.”

“Shut up. Don't be ungrateful.”

It was at that point in which I couldn't tell whether or not she was drunk anymore. But, the very next second, she passed out. I slipped out of her grasp and got up.

“I should pour cups of orange juice for everyone. The last thing we need before a final battle is a hangover.” That was more a verbal reminder than anything else. As for the tall lady passed out on the futon, I said to her one last thing. “Goodnight, Verse. We have a big day tomorrow.”

I turned out the light and went to my own room. The living room would have to stay a mess. It wasn't like we would be seeing that house much longer. Maybe none of us were prepared for what was to come next, but we would all soon find out.

[melsramblingagain]

You’re Embarassing Me

I’m at a party, in the house of well-respected men who care about me. I go into a dark room with lots of people and laser lights. One of my friends is DJing in the front. I find a girlfriend, we start to dance. I feel hands on my hips, I feel something shoved against my butt. I hear a man I’ve never met before whisper things into my ear that should never been spoken, not in any circumstance. I have a fleeting thought of throwing up on his feet. One of the guys who lives in the house sees the look of astonishment on my face. This shouldn’t surprise me anymore, why I am I this close to crying? He motions me toward him and I grasp for his wrist. He rallies some men and they pull this guy off the premises. I later find out that I was just one of many, an assembly line of asses to grab. I leave my house on a warmer fall day. I am feet from where I just was, but I am changed. “Those titties bounce when you walk, ma,” a man screams from a buddy’s passenger window and I hear them laugh. I look at the pavement in front of me and read the etchings in the cement. “Slut!” He finishes his remark and they take off. I was wearing a t-shirt and ripped jeans.

I wake up one morning to find everyone I live with, all women, gathered on the stairs in quiet meeting. A man broke into the basement of our house last night. Another woman woke up on the couch to find him standing over her, completely naked. It is discussed by university police later that he knew we were a tribe of women with no man to hold down the fort and “protect us.” I sleep with a bat next to my bed. I don’t need protecting. I am in bed with someone after we are done being intimate. “I didn’t know you were like this,” he says, as I’m grabbing my shorts to slip on to leave. “What do you mean?” I inquire. “[Insert name] told me you got around. I just didn’t believe him,” he says casually, like a hello to an acquaintance in passing. I wish I could walk into a time machine and never meet him. I am lucky. I am a woman who has a voice and I am a woman who has been saved. The stories would take up a novel, in which for this generation doesn’t have the attention span to stay. I am lucky that every story ends. No story continues on to make me “that girl,” the one who turns into a stigma. The one who turns into another sad story. Another statistic that needs trigger warnings to be discussed.

The problem is, I still have to be saved. I still have to be pulled out of a room where a man openly gropes me and goes home and sleeps while I lie awake for hours because I can still feel his grip. I still have to walk the streets in clothes that do not reveal me (and so what if they did?) and listen to the open degradation of who I am. My body is not my vessel in these moments. My world has been hijacked. “You’re embarrassing me.” Speak up baby, you’re embarrassing me. Every time I feel uncomfortable in a room with an unfamiliar man because of his words or actions, he’s embarrassing me. Every time interactions seem kind of off in the workplace, and I wonder if behavior is acceptable from the opposite sex, he is embarrassing me. Every time I think about raising a daughter in the world we live in today, with the headlines I read every morning, he is embarrassing me. He is every man who dismisses verbal assault as locker room talk. He is every man who laughs when another man talks about a woman like a conquest, like she has nothing better to do and no other option than to be his. He is every man who has watched these interactions unfold, has watched women become scared and unwell, and has done nothing to stop it. He is every man who dismisses women when they bring up these situations, none of which are truly that unique. He is every man who decided from this piece that he hates my poetry. He is every man that changes the subject when the word rape comes up. He is every man who believes, consciously or subconsciously, that women should submit to men. We can be promised. There are empty promises. We can be promised that a guy will never be as creepy with us as that one time because he was “just drunk.” We can be promised that if a guy were in the situation to stop these atrocious acts of ignominy, he would do so. But how do we know? How will we see? Will we have to wait until another woman is put through these horrific scenes? I swear on my children. A seven year old girl sits down in a classroom where her mind expands each day and comes home to watch Disney Channel. She is blissfully unaware of what comes with being a woman because she isn’t one yet. A four year old boy runs around with his friends in the yard at preschool and comes home with dirt all over him, a grin on his face. He is blissfully unaware that a percentage of his gender talks to a woman the same way they talk to a pet. “Sit!” “Come!” “Just stay here!”

So sit down and have a drink with me. I’ll have a tall glass of finally being the one with the power and you’ll have a shot, just a small one. You’ll have a taste of your own medicine. Let’s talk about how wrong it is that I am a reporter and I see this kind of news every day, but something bubbled up inside of me so strong I had to sit down and write this. Let’s talk about how many women will read this piece and think to themselves, “I’ve been there.” Let’s talk about how the systematic sexual mistreatment of women doesn’t make you fit in, let you be “one of the bros.” It makes you a predator. Let that one burn your throat for a minute.

-MH