#SO MANY relationships ones that worked out and ones that havent were based on someones interest in fucking me and thats genuinely

[wriothesleybear]

AhH thank you so much for gifting us wriothesley content🐺🐺!!!! I really wish to see his drip marketing soon 😭🙏I cannot forget your idea of him being the big bad wolf with the little red Riding Hood fem reader ever since I saw u mention it--- it is it possible if you give us some more details on the idea? Did he want to eat her at first? Does he want to start a pack w her?? I have so many questionss

it makes me happy to know you like my headcanons🥹 same about the drip marketing. hoyoverse please give us something ! any crumbs will do😫 oh gosh i havent thought that much about the wriothesley x red riding hood! reader yet hmm but if i had to give some ideas:

headcanons below ~warning: a bit suggestive~

Pre-relationship headcanons:

the reader is this innocent little thing who is so sweet, kind, is good with animals and kids, and runs a bakery/cafe which is what caught Wriothesley's eye in the first place.

he had been at your shop before for some tea and knew you were the owner and you've seen him a few times in your shop, but you two had never really spoken.

in my headcanons, i see him as a gentleman so he's usually polite to anyone unless he knows you're a bad person/criminal

one day, he saved you from a couple of criminals who were bothering you. thats when you two finally spoke to one another. you were thanking him profusely for saving you. it would probably be too cute to him so he blushes a bit from how cute you are and gives you a slight smile saying its no big deal.

a few days pass and you find out where he works so you visit him to give him some homemade muffins as a thank you. this would cause the man to become more smitten with you.

even though I see him as not really being a sweets person, he'll eat your treats since you're the one who gave it to him. i mean, what kind of gentleman would he be if he let your treats go to waste.

after this, he would visit your shop more often just to see you and of course have some tea.

you guys would enjoy having conversations with one another and this would become a daily thing.

You would learn his order by heart, already having it ready when you knew he would show up soon. he would notice this and it would cause him to fall harder for you.

You guys would start off as friends of course but it would develop into something more as you got to know more about one another and spend more time together.

He would be the one to ask you out first and you say yes ofc. (he thought you looked so cute when you said yes and it made him happy !)

ofc it was an amazing first date ! he'd go a little bit all out. its your first date after all and its for you so he has to make a good impression ;)

Some relationship headcanons:

once this man falls for you, he falls hard (wolves mate for life)

always kisses your hand !!! he doesnt do that much pda except for that, a hand around your waist, a kiss on your head. he prefers more behind closed doors *wink wink*

When people see him showing affection towards you tho, they get shocked cuz those who don't know him think he's a bit of a scary dude based on his appearance and seeing him with an adorable, innocent s/o is surprising to them.

tea dates ofc

he's playful so playful bites/licks occur often and teases you

he loves hearing you laugh and smile. makes his heart race !

SOOO PROTECTIVE!

he has to protect his cute little innocent, kind darling, can you blame him🥺

he'd be like low-key possessive.

what i mean by that is by marking you. ofc with bite marks during your love making sessions but i could also see him gifting you a necklace with a crescent or symbol that symbolizes him.

it shows others that you're his and hands off!

or imagine its a little red hood that has his symbol on it and matches his cape ahhhh! that'd be so cute!

adding on to that, he's not really the jealous type because he knows you're his but when he sees you giving someone else more attention than him, he might get a little needy.

he just wants his little red riding hood to give him all of their attention and love

please play with his hair and give him scratchies

wouldn't be overly clingy but will hang around you a lot when he can like. like he has to be touching you in a way aka hugging you, you sitting on his lap, etc. or just having you near him while he works is enough

he's gotta make sure you are reminded daily that he loves you

he would be a little bit of a worry wart when he's not with you, always wondering if you were okay

HE IS DEVOTED TO YOU! he would do anything for you maybe even break the law for you👀 he is whipped

a family man

he would for sure want to have a family with you !

would probably want a big one (going off on the fact that wolf packs are usually around 6-10 members from what i read)

Sigewinne is already your guys' child. Its important for you two to get along and you do.

When he sees you two getting along, it makes him so happy !

his thoughts often lead to thinking about you two having a family of your own one day (sorta makes him feral🫣)

he would be the one to bring up the topic when the time is right.

if you said yes, he'd be happy and probably take you right there omg🤭

if you're not ready, he would be understanding, but if you're willing, you could always 'practice' until the time comes ;)

overall, 10/10 boyfriend

i hope i didn't ramble too much. maybe i'll make a series out of this. i hope this answers your questions anon. have a wonderful day!🥰❤️

[transbee]

im literally fine i just need to be melodramatic first

[internetgremlin-writes]

FLAT SPIN CHAP 5 SPOILERS!!

OH MY GOD IGGY THAT CHAPTER WAS ABSOLYTELY PERFECT!!!!

The way he asked her to come to Barcelona… SO carlos of him I wanted to cry… AND THE WAY HE METICULOUSLY PLANNED EVERYTHING? I am sorry if you dont like / dont care about zodiacs BUT THE VIRGO ENERGY IN HIM JUMPED OUT, and I respect it soooo much. Everything he planned was so /him/, but also so so perfect for MC — the little gestures? Ordering for her? Translating everything for her? POSTING HER ON HIS STORY? God i literally melted

AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIM COOKING FOR HER… because god damn you Know how Weak I am and it was so beautiful, also the British breakfast once again just shows how much he cares for her and understands her🥹 i am just about to combust actually

AND THEN RACE WEEKEND? And everything with the green tractor and also MC and Sebs relationship? Once again nailed it sm god i love these teammates… and how she didnt want to fight Seb / come across like that because he just means so much to her????? Girl you got me on the floor rn…

What I cannot stop thinking about is how shes in for the championship, and as of rn so is Carlos… Will they be fighting each other further down the line or… 👀 Make up sex as an apology for aggressive overtaking again? Or podium celebration sex because BOTH of them ended up on the podium (Silverstone? 👀) So many possibilities omfg dont mind me

AND THEN LAST BUT NOT LEAST (thiugh i still have so much to say but my slow ass brain needs a bit of time i guess) the ending was just perfect… like am I the only one thinking Carlos didnt want to sleep with her pre race weekend bc he wanted to fully focus on her but couldnt with all the GO expectations around him? But now that it was done he could let himself fully focus on her and give her all the attention he thinks she deserves? God I love them sm… And the way you let all those emotions show through during the smut was just CHEFS KISS, the way they understand each other is just so 🥹🥹🥹 i have no words lol other than i’m SO obsessed..,

God i hope this all is legible its 4:14am now and i am prone to word vomit already when my brain is working so this may just sound like incoherent crap but i hope you know this chapter was SO GOOD, also the way you captured Barcelona imo was spot on like I wouldnt have noticed that it was all based on research and not personal experiences (though i guess i must confess i havent been to barcelona since i was 4 either… JSJDKFKF BUT YOU MANAGED TO CAPTURE THE SPANISH VIBES PERFECTLY THAT I CAN TELL YOU BC I JUST VACATIONED IN SPAIN LAST MONTH)

okay oh my god i am back from festival and i am finally going to reply to this without crying halfway through...

firstly OH MY GOD. you... you wrote all this... about my work?? I'm touched, I'm shook, I'm honoured, this is honestly the best feeling and probably as close to a "real" author with people analysing my work as I'll ever get and I am ABSOLUTELY here for it (especially as a literature nerd who loves to pick apart all of my books for fun)

haha I don't *dislike* zodiacs, I don't really follow them to that much detail but I vaguely have an idea of them. To be honest, the way I write Carlos is purely based on the guy we see as a Formula One driver and personality (but now you say that I totally see the virgo energy). ALSO I'M SO GLAD YOU NOTICED THOSE I am entirely convinced Carlos is a very detail-oriented person and especially when he is first seeing someone he would be really careful to go out of the way to do really subtle but meaningful things yanno?

As for the championship fight... well I don't want to give anything away but oh I *definitely* have a plan for MC and Carlos and the WDC ;)

Haha don't worry it all made sense! And thank you so much for the comment about Barcelona... it's a little embarrassing how long I spent on google for things to do in and around the city because I've never been to mainland Spain, so even if it's not 100% accurate I'm just happy the vibes were right!!

honestly just thank you so much for this, it means the absolute world <3 <3 <3

[3liza]

hey im not gonna spread your weird social media-mediated brain infection on my blog, instead here are some cool studies to look at about how the "beautiful people have an easier life, every day, all the time" is a simplistic view, and is also patriarchal as fuck. more recent studies on "beauty privilege" are finding that the issue is complex, and that perceived beauty acts as a negative pressure in some/many social situations. i have always wondered why my experiences varied so much from the apparent wonderland the pop-science concept of "beauty privilege" paints, and more recent studies (often designed by women this time, imagine) are getting into the complexity there.

you personally may want to think about not reading my social media accounts if they are making you feel and act like this. i think i am not going to interact with you anymore if i can help it because i feel bad about what it is doing to you. anyway.

the short version is that beauty is beneficial in heterosexual social situations when dealing with the opposite sex, but detrimental when dealing with the same sex. this aspect of the research is usually ignored because who needs nuance in their pop psychology, right? not this guy (pointing 2 self)

very simply put, a beautiful woman can flirt her way out of a ticket from a heterosexual male cop. if she tries it on a person who doesnt consider her a potential romantic partner, there may be (and apparenly often are) negative consequences.

similarly in my own life i find that 99% of the apparent opportunities i'd been given for being young and fuckable were predicated on me actually fucking* the person who "offered" them, and most of them turned out to be fake/insincere opportunities anyway. tumblr refers to this as "grooming" when applied to child subjects (which i was, for much of it) but the behavior persists into the target's adulthood, middle age, and even old age if certain conditions are met. i can't find any studies on this because you can't put a Sleazy Guy in a lab setting and ask him "hey were you actually going to hire this woman on hte up-and-up, or were you going to 'hire' her and then spend 16 months making increasingly deranged sexual harassment attempts before reporting her to HR for made-up reasons and then finally firing her or hamstringing her career? just wondering".

i always think about that episode of Always Sunny where Mac goes nuts because every kid in his class was molested by the gym teacher and he imagines this to be some sort of privilege, even though charlie was one of the victims and is clearly devastated by it. thats what this conversation feels like every time it gets to the level of anons making fake tumblr accounts to KEEP pestering me about this stuff. remember that thing i said earlier about blood in the water, and how i dont post about bad shit that happened to me because it attracts the wrong kind of attention??? hehuehueheuheuhuehriuhgfidsrhru

actually thats a whole other realm of study: why victims of sexual assault and abuse are often re-victimized. until recently it was assumed that the victims were making bad decisions in who to trust, and this is sooorrrrtt of true, but doesn't tell the whole story. i read a study once that i am trying to find and will post later if i find it, that took video of adult women study subjects (who had agreed to be filmed) walking normally just down the street publically, and showed this video to male test subjects. if im remembering the study correctly, which i may not be, the male subjects who scored higher on psychopathy indices were better able to indentify the women in the test footage who had been sexually assaulted at some point in their former lives.

something to think about is a lot of "attractive" qualities (including proccupation with physical appearance leading to altering that appearance to be more beautiful), especially in the manic pixie archetype, are very strongly represented in trauma victims, especially sexual assault survivors (as is the opposite, intentionally trying to be "unattractive" to avoid further victimization). this includes "seductiveness", one of the adjectives used to diagnose child sexual abuse victims before the verbiage in the literature got cleaned up. obviouly a child cant be "seductive" and thats pretty offensive and fucked up to say. what they meant is that the childs behavior has been altered by trauma to become sexualized to appease attackers. this is part of the "fawn" sector of emergency responses in humans (along with fight, flight, and freeze).

so when we talk so cavalierly of "beauty" and "attractive people" vs "unattractive people" we are simplifying an issue that is so complex it is difficult even to think about. this complexity makes me go "hmm" every time theres a study on it, much less a popular belief. a lot of it sort of doesnt square with easily-observable phenomena: if physical beauty is so correlated to success, why are the 1% of wealthy people, politicians, actual power-holders, hell even the CEOs of normal companies, very very rarely what you would consider physically beautiful, even when they havent aged out of what the culture thinks is the maximum span of time someone can be "hot"? some of this is just personal preference, and it's real hard to study any of this because of how complex that issue becomes. but where are all these hot successful people i keep hearing about? are they all trophy spouses and retired from the public eye? you can definitely cherrypick examples of "influencers" etc but thats an extremely narrow line of work, and not representative.

anyway! lot of the "do beautiful people get more stuff" research is from quite a while ago, wasnt designed well, and was based on a work and social culture that was quite a bit different than it is now. but even older studies document this effect. ive spent like many minutes typing about this stupid bullshit so im bored and annoyed now and i dont want to type about it anymore

1. Effects of Self-Esteem Threat on Physical Attractiveness Stereotypes

2. Does being attractive always help? positive and negative effects of attractiveness on social decision making (cant find the sci-hub version, alas, but documents a negative effect we're actually seeing an anecdotal example of in my inbox rn)

3. Is beauty a gift or a curse? The influence of an offender’s physical attractiveness on forgiveness

* often it wasnt even just a sex thing. it's very very often a romance/relationship that is desired by the perpetrator. it's a misapprehension of the public that sexual harassment/grooming is "just about sex" or even less accurately "just about power", it isnt

[seokjinsdisciple]

Give ‘Em a Show

doyoung x reader (purely smut like idk what to say)

you’re a brat and doyoung puts you in your place

if you know me in real life and are seeing this.. no you dont 💖

warnings: established relationship, punishments, spanking, degradation, humiliation, brat taming, over the pants handjob for like 3 seconds, deep throating, subtle exhibitionism, petnames, dirty talk, cum control, creampie, unprotected sex, oral sex, fingering, uhh i think thats it but as always lmk if i forgot anything

word count: 3k

UNEDITED as usual

Your first mistake was placing your hand on Doyoung’s thighs. It was innocent at first, his members all sitting around the dining room table, laughing and having a good time. You really hadn’t meant anything by it, but the longer they talked the more fidgety you got. When your boredom was replaced with horniness, you knew you were going to be getting trouble. 

You slid your palm up his leg slowly enough to keep his attention off of you for a while. At least long enough to palm over where you knew his dick rested in his sweats. You smiled as he gulped, his grip around his fork whitening his knuckles. You smirked at his warning glare, behave screaming from his eyes as his mouth stayed shut. 

You didn’t move in the way he wanted you to however, your palm gently squeezing his half bulge. He still had a calm composure, not willing to let you win just yet. 

“If you don't stop right now you won’t be able to sit tomorrow,” he whispered, breath tickling your ear as jolts of arousal shot through your body. 

“I’m bored,” you whined, sliding your palm up and down as you pouted. You almost whimpered as he grabbed your wrist with one of his hands, forcefully standing up from the table. You tried not to laugh at the boys' shocked faces, or Jaehyun’s whistle at Doyoung’s very visible boner, but you couldn’t help the smile from spreading. 

“Someone’s been busy under the table,” Johnny teased, laughing as Doyoung’s ears flushed bright red, betraying him.

“Please excuse us,” he said, dragging you from the table by your wrist. 

“Lock the door heathens,” Yuta yelled, a chorus of laughter echoing down the hallway. 

Doyoung listened to Yuta, twisting the lock on his bedroom door as soon as the two of you were inside. 

“Strip.”

“Why should I listen to you?” you asked, eyes meeting his.

“This is a game you don’t want to play tonight, princess,” he warned, eyeing his bed, “I told you to strip.”

Instead of moving you stood, back almost pressed against the door. You smiled as anger flashed in his eyes, his body completely surrounding you as he pulled your jaw with his hand. His thumb moved up to your mouth, forcing it open. He pressed his thumb on your tongue, a whimper leaving your mouth as you felt yourself starting to drool.

“Look how dumb you look, drooling all over my hand,” he growled, “Now strip. I won’t ask again.”

He let go of your jaw, stepping back to give you room to move. You obeyed this time, knowing damn well if you kept going right now he would give you nothing tonight, no matter how much you begged. You hurried over to his bed, flinging your clothes off as quickly as you could. Your body tingled at his hum of approval at your obedience. 

“How many spanks do you think you deserve for the stunt you pulled in there?” He asked, fingertips grazing your bare collar bones as he lifted your chin up. He always had to make sure you were looking at him, especially when you had been bad. 

“None,” you said, smirking as he raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Wrong answer,” he said, patting your cheek gently, “Over my lap.”

He didn’t give you much of a choice this time, effortlessly moving your body over his fully clothed thighs until he had you settled exactly where he wanted you. 

“Color?” he asked, palm gently rubbing your back.

“Green,” you whispered, biting your lip as a harsh smack landed on the plushest part of your ass. 

“You really couldn’t wait for dinner to be over, huh slut?” he asked, landing three sharp spanks in a row. 

“I told you I was bored,” you said, biting the inside of your cheek as he landed another spank. 

“And I. Told. You. To. Wait,” he said, accenting each word with a matching slap on your ass. He pulled apart your legs, tsking at the mess that had begun to spread across your thighs, “Now look at you, all worked up from a few slaps and my words.”

You wriggled in his grasp as his fingers ghosted over your core. Biting your lip hard as he gave a quick, harsh slap to your lips. 

“Awe look princess, you just got even wetter,” he laughed, “If you wanted me to spank you, you could’ve asked!”

“Shut up,” you spat back, begging your body not to betray you anymore. 

“Now now,” he tutted, “Is that any way to talk to someone who gets to decide when you cum?”

“You don't get to tell me shit,” you said, whimpering as another smack sounded through the room. 

“What a filthy little mouth you have,” he growled, “On your knees. You can’t talk shit with your mouth full of cock.”

He picked you up, practically dumping you on the floor as he pulled down his sweats. You eyed his cock hungrily, the furiously reddened tip just begging your tongue to lick. Doyoung threaded his fingers through your hair, dragging your mouth onto his cock. You kissed the tip, tongue circling the head of his cock as you watched his face. You took him into your mouth shallowly, popping off in less than a second. 

“Who put you in charge, don’t act like more of a slut than you already have” He growled, tightening his grip in your hair as he forced himself back into your mouth. He was unforgiving now, pushing your head down until it was at the base of his cock.You relaxed your throat, his hands forcing you deeper onto him. You gagged for a moment, eyes closing at the weight of him on your tongue. 

You let out a moan around him as he started fucking into your mouth, eyes flickering up to meet his. He looked absolutely stunning above you. Brows furrowed in pleasure as his eyes never left the sight of his cock sliding in and out of your mouth harshly. There was sweat glistening on his brow, and his bottom lip was pulled in between his teeth. 

He pulled you off quickly, string of saliva connecting your mouth to his dick as you gasped for air. 

“Doyoung please,” you whined, legs pressing together in order to get any friction. 

“You’re gonna have to beg harder than that, princess, and is that any way to address me?” he said, caressing your cheek as you sputtered out an apology. 

“I’m sorry, sir,” you said, “Please I’ll do anything. Just please, sir touch me.”

“That's better, but not quite enough,” he smirked down at you, tutting as tears started to build in your eyes. 

“I-, please, I’ll do anything,” you whined, the tears that were building threatening to spill down your cheeks, “I’ll make it up to you sir, make you feel so good, just please fuck me.”

“You look so pretty crying for me, princess,”He smiled, wiping the tears that had fallen on to your cheeks, “Do you think you deserve my cock?”

You nodded your head furiously, not even aware of the words that were spilling out of your mouth. Desperate to be fucked. 

“Oh, sweet baby you’re babbling,” he said, pulling you up from your knees and pressing his lips onto yours, “You need my cock that badly? Havent even fucked you yet and you’re already dumb.”

You let out a satisfied moan when his lips connected with yours again, letting him guide you to the bed without breaking your kiss. Your tongues danced together as he positioned himself carefully on top of you. Your hands flew to his shirt, trying your hardest to get it off his body as quickly as you could. 

“Who said you could do that, hm?”

“Please sir,” you whined, “Just wanna touch you.”

“I think you lost that privilege when you pulled that stunt at the table, don’t you think so kitten?”

You nodded up at him, tears welling in your eyes at the thought of not being able to touch him at all.

 “Will you tie my hands sir? I don’t wanna misbehave,” you whispered, voice barely audible as he tweaked a nipple in between his fingers. 

“Oh so now you want to behave? I don’t think I’ll tie you up this time, I expect you to control yourself now,” He said back, the gentle actions of his fingers and mouth not matching the harshness of his tone. 

You had no choice but to whimper as his mouth attacked the sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder. Doyoung leaving marks anywhere he could reach while you desperately tried to keep your hands out of his hair. 

“So needy, so desperate for me. Does princess want to touch me?”

“Yes sir. Yes sir, I wanna touch you so bad,” you mewled.

“Hmm, have you learned your lesson? Will you learn to keep your hands to yourself?”

“I won’t do it again, I swear,” you agreed, voice desperate, “I’m so sorry sir, learned my lesson.”

“Very well then, you can touch me but don’t think you’re off the hook yet.”

Your hands immediately flew to his shirt, face flushing as he let out a laugh at your desperation. He sat back, allowing you to pull the fabric over his head. When he started kissing the pathway from your neck to your core you finally slid your fingers into his hair. 

His mouth ghosted over you, lightly kissing the side of your thighs, breathing over your clit, but never touching it. You had learned Doyoung liked making you squirm, and he knew exactly how to do it.

When his lips finally connected to your core, you muffled your moan. The back of your hand quieting your noises particularly well.  

“So fucking sweet just like always princess,” Doyoung grinned at you, tongue flicking your clit in the way that always drove you mad, “No need to muffle those moans love, you were trying so hard to put on a show out there, why stop now?” 

You let out one last muffled whimper before removing your hand from your mouth, Doyoung rewarding you with another series of licks on your bud. He didn’t tease you much longer, licking continuously as he slid one finger into you. 

“You’re soaking love, you really are just a needy little thing aren’t you?” He asked, a devilishly handsome smile on his face as he slowly slid a finger in and out of your trembling heat. 

You were a moaning mess, not worrying about the members that sat at the dining room table right down the hall. 

“Wanna give them a proper show love? Or should I keep you right here where I know you’ll behave,” all the while teasing you with a single finger, “Show them what a slut you are for me.”

You simply whine at his words, desperately trying to get more fingers inside you, “Please, more, anything please just want more,” wiggling around and bucking your hips to try to get closer to him. 

“More? You were so bad earlier I don’t know if you deserve it. Make me believe you deserve my cock.” he smirks “Really think I should collar you up and fuck you right there in front of them.”

“I’ll do anything,” you begged, “let you collar me and do anything you want, please sir, I just want your cock.”

“Anything at all?” he huffs finally giving you a second finger, pleased moan leaving your lips as you finally get more friction.

“Anything,” you repeated, gaze meeting him. 

“And what do we think about being on display for others?” He asked, raising his brow at the way you clenched around him, “Oh you’d like that?”

You nodded at him, a loud moan escaping from your lips as he curled his fingers in you. 

“Shall we see what they think about that too?” giving a particularly hard thrust of his fingers. You were being too loud, and you knew it. But the way he was pleasuring you made it impossible to be quiet. 

“Please,” you begged, voice breaking as a hard thrust ripped another moan from you. 

“Please what princess? We’ve been over this you need to be specific.”

‘Please sir fuck me,” you gasped, “let them all hear it please, need you inside of me.”

“Oh princess you shouldn’t have said that,” he said, smirk on his lips as he pulled his fingers from your body, “You have no idea how badly you’re in for it.”

He wrapped one hand around himself, pressing his length into you in one thrust. Both of you unable to hold in your noises as he gave you a second to adjust to his size. He quickly threw your legs over his shoulders, pressing impossible deeper into you. 

He made good on his threat, starting an unrelenting pace that had moans coming from your mouth. His hand wrapped around your neck, loosely holding it in order to keep your moans loud. The light threat of him choking you matched with the pace of his thrusts sending you closer and closer to the edge. 

“You better not even think of cumming with out permission,” he leaned in and whispered. 

“I can’t,” you whimpered, “If you don’t slow down, I’m going to cum.”

“Slow down? I thought you made it clear when you tried to touch me in front of the guys earlier that you wanted to get punished like this,” he growled, keeping his pace, “You won’t cum until I tell you to.”

Your mouth flew open as he let the hand around your throat drag down to your clit. Gently rubbing in circles as continued to pound into your heat. All you could do was moan, helplessly pinned between his body and the bed. 

You were trying so hard not to cum, whole body shaking in effort as you willed yourself to be good. To listen to him and hold yourself back. You were crying, you knew you were, and that was enough for him to have mercy on you.  

He took his hand off your clit, both hands cupping your face as he kissed you. It was messy, your tongues not really having any rhythm, the desperation to feel each other too great for either of you to care. 

His hips were losing their rhythm, his grunts increasing in volume as he got closer and closer to the edge. 

“You can cum princess,” he groaned, his cock sliding deliciously in your walls. A well timed thrust into your most sensitive spot had you obeying him. Your loudest moan yet following the snap of the coil in your tummy. 

You felt his head drop to your chest, his grunts increasing as he fucked you through your high, biting and kissing at the skin on your collarbone. It only took a few mor thrusts before he was spilling in you. Cock twitching and hips jolting until every last drop was pumped into you. He pulled out gently, pressing a kiss to your forehead before flopping onto you. 

“You ok?” he whispered, soft hands running through your hair. 

“I should misbehave more often,” you smiled, laughing at his groan. 

He collapsed on the bed beside you, letting out a laugh in disbelief, “I knew I shouldn’t have let you cum.”

He sat up, grabbing a towel from the floor and some lotion, carefully cleaning you up before flipping you over and gently rubbing your ass with the healing lotion. Muttering praises and i love yous as he massaged your tense limbs. 

He dressed you carefully in one of his shirts, tossing a pair of sweats at you as he got changed himself. 

“They’re gonna laugh at us,” you whined, pressing yourself tightly to his back as he swung the door open, waddling behind him. 

“And whose fault is that, hm?” he asked, removing your hands from around his waist and intertwining your fingers. 

He led you to the kitchen, feeding you a snack and forcing you to hydrate yourself before the two of you walked into the living room where the boys were sitting. Johnny noticed the two of you first, a teasing smile on his face as he cleared his throat.

“We saved you a seat on the couch,” he said, the boy's attention immediately flitting to the two of you, “Thought it’d hurt too much for you to sit on the floor.”

You whined as the boys laughed, burying your head into Doyoung’s side. He chuckled too, leading you to the couch. 

“Took you guys long enough,” Hyuck grumbled,  grabbing the remote and starting the movie, “I thought Mark was gonna cream his pants if you went on for any longer.”

“Hyuck,” Mark whined, blush covering his cheeks and ears as he hugged the pillow on his lap tighter. “I hate you all.”

“It’s ok, Mark,” you said, smiling softly at him. 

“I’m surprised you still have a voice, Taeyong said, shaking his head at the two of you, “Now shut up, we have a Harry Potter marathon to get through.”

Everyone listened, shutting up and getting comfortable in their designated spots. No one was surprised at how quickly you fell asleep in Doyoung’s lap, his hands soothingly rubbing your back as you dozed off. Needless to say most of the boys asked if he was serious about them watching next time as soon as you had fallen asleep. Your mind entering dreamland completely unaware of the torture they were planning for you.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[qqueenofhades]

The photo set you reblogged of Yusuf and Niccolo helping throughout time just filled me with so many happy feels and it made me realize that it seems so common in media with immortal couples that they take breaks from each other and reconnect after a few decades. Which is a great trope but seeing these two that seems to have been attached at the hip since the day they met just fills me with all the heart eyes.

(I haven't read your fanfics for them yet. I know I'm a bad fan but if it helps I havent been able to read anything since all this started but while writing this ask I got the feeling that all this rambling I spewed out is a big theme)

Hush. Bad fan nothing. We all are coping with this stupid, awful year in different ways, some of us by escaping into fandom and some of us being unable to engage with it and some of us doing both or anything else. You certainly don’t owe me or anyone any obligation to interact with our content, fic or otherwise. So just to have that there on the top. You’re good, hun. :)

ANYWAY, thank you for giving me a chance to meta a bit on the boys and their relationship and to have a window into what my brain looks like pretty much 24/7 these days. (I blame them.) I keep thinking about all the ways this couple is depicted in the TOG film and how lovely it was and how unusual it is for me to have an OTP where I actually love them in canon and don’t need to violently disavow it in order to create AU fan content with just the characters. (See: Timeless, Game of Thrones, pretty much any show I’ve hyperfixated on at some point.) I love AUs anyway, because that’s the way my brain works, but the fact that I can also enjoy canon just as much is rare for me and for a lot of us. I saw a post somewhere remarking on how the fanfic for Joe/Nicky isn’t fixing anything, which is usually the point of transformative fanworks: we take something that canon atrociously fucked up and fix it. But in this case, all our interpretations are based on actually appreciating the way they’re presented in canon and wanting to enjoy that and uphold it, and that -- especially with a couple like this one -- is shocking??

Like. Despite my historian gripes about the occasionally incongruous details for their graphic-novel backstories (which are the only things I HAVE fixed in my fics), I’m just... deeply appreciative of the care which everyone, writers and actors and all else, put into depicting Joe and Nicky and their relationship. And god YES, one of the things I love the absolute MOST is that they’re a loving, faithful, committed, happy married queer couple over centuries, and that seems to be the case for as long as they’ve known each other/ever since they got together. (See Booker’s “you and Nicky always had each other.”) These fools can’t sleep apart from each other even when they’re stuck on a freight train in the middle of nowhere, they flirt like teenagers at dinnertime and even when they’re strapped to gurneys in a mad-scientist laboratory, they make out to enrage bad guys and also because they’re just still that goddamn into each other after all this time.

I think it was Marwan Kenzari who pointed out that there’s simply no way to truly state the depth of their knowledge and devotion and commitment to each other. They’re 950 years old. They have known each other since they were in their thirties; they’ve been husbands for literal centuries. There is no way anyone else in the world could possibly come close to replicating the kind of bond they have with each other, and neither of them have ever had any inclination to look, because why would they? Especially with the fact that queer couples in media, even otherwise sympathetically portrayed ones, often have Drama and Third Parties and Promiscuity and whatever else (because of the tiresome old canard that Gays Equal Hypersexualized!), and Joe and Nicky don’t need or want ANY of that. There’s no urge to make their relationship a cheap source of soap-opera conflict. It’s the rock and the center and the core of both of their lives, and everything they do stems from that.

There have been some great metas/comments on how neither Joe and Nicky are sexualized, they dress like stay-at-home dads during quarantine (Marwan Kenzari and Luca Marinelli are both objectively gorgeous men, and they’re out there looking like that, god bless), and the viewer is never invited to goggle at or fetishize their relationship. There are no leering or exploitative camera angles on anyone, and their expressions of love aren’t posed or intended to titillate the audience, they’re just solidly embodied and natural and lived in. It’s never bothered to be stated clunkily in dialogue that they’re a couple; we just see them exchanging looks and smiles in the early part of the film, and then we see them spooning on the train after the mission in Sudan, which confirms it.

At every turn, the narrative celebrates the kindness and love shared by the Immortal Family, the individual characters, and Joe and Nicky, especially and explicitly in queer form. The villains of the film are also defined by how they react negatively to that love. @viridianpanther​ had a great meta on how Keane as a villain is especially set up to menace Joe and Nicky as the narrative representation of toxic masculinity, aggressive heterosexuality, and the usual “Kill Your Gays” trope that we’ve all come to wearily expect. But instead, after that scene where Joe and Nicky fight Keane, Nicky is shot and comes back to life in Joe’s arms rather than dying permanently like we probably all momentarily expected, and then Joe gets to FUCKIN’ BREAK THE NECK of the guy who enacted that violence.... good GOD. The first time I watched it, I almost couldn’t believe it was happening. (This goes for the whole film, but especially that scene.) Like... when do we get that?? When do we EVER get that???

Obviously, there are so many stereotypes, whether visually or in behavior or character traits, that could have been assigned to a gay Italian character (excessively dramatic, effeminate, fashionable, etc) or a gay Arabic/Muslim character (explicitly announcing He’s Not Like Those Muslims, having to actively reject his heritage to make him more palatable to westerners, being tormented over being gay, etc) and Joe and Nicky subscribe to none of those. I get very emotional about Joe referring to Nicky as the moon when he is lost during the truck scene partly because it’s SUCH a common motif in Arabic love poetry. To call someone your “moon” is a beautiful way to say they’re the light of your life, and since the Islamic calendar is obviously lunar and the holidays, months, and observances, are set by the phases of the moon, this also has a deeper religious significance.

I don’t know for sure if they did that on purpose, but it it’s a lovely and subtle way of showing us how Joe clearly doesn’t have an issue with being both queer AND Muslim, and is able to draw on both facets of that identity in a way that a lesser narrative would have denied him. And that is just really wonderful. Yes, we’re seeing these characters when they’ve had centuries to settle into themselves, but there are plenty of writers who would have forced those conflicts artificially to the surface, rather than letting them be long in the past. It’s the same way when you watch a film set in the medieval era, it wants you to know that it Is Set In The Medieval Era. Cue the filth, misogyny, racism, violence, etc! Rather than it being a lived-in reality, it has to be jarringly drawn attention to, and I’m just so glad they didn’t do that with Joe and Nicky. And for them to have met in the crusades and fallen in love??! Come on. That’s just rude. Rude to me, personally.

Anyway, this was a rather long-winded and feelsy way of saying that these characters are constructed, acted, and written organically in such a way that you hate to even THINK of them being separated, and it’s not because they can’t function without each other, but because they are two halves of a whole. We also see that the characters themselves can’t stand being forced apart: Joe’s freakout in the truck scene when Nicky briefly won’t wake up, Nicky making sure to tell Joe that he’s glad he’s awake in the lab, the whole post-Keane fight scene that I talked about above, the way Nicky fights ferociously to get to Joe when Merrick’s stabbing him, etc. For that to be given to the queer couple, where the strength of their love and devotion is reinforced as one of the emotional goals of the story, and for that queer couple to be written in the way that Joe and Nicky are, both individually and as a unit, is just so very rare.

Because yes, there’s plenty of drama and angst and pain in their lives, but there’s none at all in their relationship, and that’s what fans keep telling TV writers the whole time: they WANT to see the couple confront things as a unit, rather than being kept on tenterhooks the whole time and forced to go through manufactured or artificial drama. It would feel especially wrong for Joe and Nicky, who have known and loved each other for 900 years. The fact that their respective actors also put so much care and love into them is very obvious, and makes me feel even luckier that they’re played by people who clearly get them and honor them and know what they’re doing.

Basically: of course Joe and Nicky have been with each other the whole time, and of course we’re all drowning in feelings over it, and I feel very blessed that this ship exists, and I very much need the sequel ASAP. Thanks.

[surviving---not---living]

What the fuck do I do?...

**tw emotional/physical abuse mentions**

posted this on reddit with different ages and such so he wont find it but he doesnt use tumblr so I wanted to post here to see if yall had some suggestions as well any help would be greatly appreciated or to just know someone read would also be enough... with that said I'll paste the post.

to start I'm 23f and the fiance is 38m

I have an idea of what i should do i just sincerely dont want to i dont want to leave him homeless and without money or a job...

but the last few months have me scared and confused...

(during arguments he let's me write down what's happening when I hear something that stands out to me in Hope's itll help me fix my behaviour i got from my parents so ive been able to write down exact wording on some things said) theres just so much going on...

to preface this hes never been physically abusive to me and thankfully it's not there yet. in his defense though i was raised very incorrectly due to shit parents and I have a lot of mental issues that cause self sabotage, delusional thinking- meaning If I personally believe something it usually takes a small war to get my mind to recognize im actually wrong, as well as terrible memory so if I do acknowledge I've done something wrong more often than not my head forgets what happened or what i even did wrong if anything and the next time it inevitably happens again I have no information to pull from to tell me what I did was wrong or why. so basically I'm kind of a fuck up, I'm doing my best to fix my shit but yeah my fiance has been dealing with all of that for 4 years now.

(*some minorly important issues

•he's been interrupting me not letting me finish what I'm saying and just outright changing the topic since we first got together, although wrong of me I started doing that as well because i saw no other way to be able to speak to him except even when I'm doing the exact same shit hes doing it seems like hes the only allowed to be upset.

•we were in an open relationship except he didnt follow the rules we agreed to one time and that broke my trust I had for him. we said no coworkers, we said only people we were both interested in we said no one that's taken and yet all of those got broken over an ugly bitch. and I still get shit for bringing it up to this day.

•he said that until I start prefacing all of my conversations with him he wont count any attempt I've made at talking to him about my problems. so basically everything I've tried talking to him about doesnt fucking matter and it doesnt fucking count. not even when I tried telling him 3 separate times I'm feeling suicidal to top it off everytime i mentioned it, it ended in an argument.

•he told me he got suicidal thoughts for the first time in 10 years due to me and honestly I didnt know how to fucking respond to that. it made me sad yeah but where was the care I needed when I brought up the same thing? where was his give a fuck hes supposed to show if he actually cares about me??

•he says he interrupts me because what I have to say is either false, not grounded in reality, or they're excuses. except he has little to no way of knowing any of that is true unless he hears me all the way out I could be agreeing with him and he still interrupts and gets pissed.

•I believe hes a hypocrite but he says nah hes only doing this because I'm doing bad.

•hes said multiple times that i wont see any improvement in him until he sees I've got my shit together. even though hes the one that caused the first problems in this relationship I'm supposed to be the first one to fix my shit? instead of both of us working on our shit together??? and when I ask those questions he responds with yes you are supposed to be the first one to fix your shit because I'm at the end of my rope and I wont take this anymore.)

but on to why I've been scared. this person told me he used to be abusive with an equally abusive ex for many reasons and after splitting up he vowed to never do that again and never end up like they did.

fast forward to our relationship and well a few months ago he told me he wanted to hit me and made it a point to say he wasnt going to but he really wanted to.

he said that because we were both in my car and he wanted to leave with the car except I wasnt going to get out of MY car so he started yelling, i got scared and left later on he told me that was the first time hes ever wanted to hit me and I should think about what it is I did to get him to that point. after that I left it alone for a month because things got a bit better and then came the next time he said he wanted to hit me. now I dont remember the reason for him saying it the second time but I wasnt going to let that slip as easily as the first so I spoke up about it and what he had to say about me telling him it made me scared of him to know he wanted to hit me was " well if you Weren't a coward, normally when someone says they want to hit you it's a signal that you're doing something so wrong that they want to hit you." and me knowing him i knew this was one of those times he just wasnt going to budge.

so on to the next argument.

he told me I'm the one who thrust those thoughts into him, that I'm the reason they ever came to be, I'm why the exist in the first place. and he doesnt seem to understand when I say that no I'm not the reason your head wants to hurt me they exist there because of your last relationship letting that be an option. he also said he keeps the option of abuse in his head with a line in front of it to remind him to never pass that line and he doesn't understand that keeping that idea in his head at all is not a good thing because now the option is available whether you want to take it or not and

he. just. kept. arguing. and defending.

now on to the last argument.

he says he wants me to stop putting him in a position to do all the thinking and decision making for me, when I've asked him multiple times to stop doing that because I want to do shit for myself and all he keeps saying is show me that you can actually think for yourself and I'll stop needing to do that. like motherfucker at least give me the time to make decisions or thoughts.

I know it's not his fault that I take longer to process things but he knows this fact and keeps expecting me to already have a response half a second later to something I'm barely registering 5 seconds after it happened and again yes I know its something I have to work on and I am but atm it's still an existing issue.

hes trying to call thinking for me and making decisions for me "a gift" (the exact context for him saying this wasnt written down as I was too upset at the audacity of that claim.)

he wants me to show overwhelming efforts to fix my fucked behavioral issues but the efforts I'm putting in atm dont matter to him and that hes hanging on a single thread hes no longer willing to take anything but Absolute compliance(yes he used the actual words absolute compliance) if he doesnt see me losing sleep to figure out and fix my shit he wont be convinced I'm trying. he ended that segment with him saying hes not using these words to control or manipulate me. he says this is a requirement a yes or no and he wont make his decision on whether he wants to break up with me until I say yes or no to his absolute compliance. he said his decision is solely based on my answer and If i say yes i dont get to back off or get out of it.

I also wrote down a quote he said that was just so arrogant i couldnt leave it out.

"You sit before an artisan of problem solving." -my fiance

soo haha yeahh the last argument happened right before going to bed and I started typing this as soon as I got up and finished my hygiene stuff.

I'm pretty sure if he had never told me he'd wanted to hit me this wouldn't be such a difficult thing to answer... I love him and I have no idea if I should pick him and risk any form of my safety or just let him leave me.. he has no job, no money, and no family to go to.. I know he doesnt care about being homeless but I do care..I fucking love him and I dont want that for him not even for a day... as shitty as he and I can both be I still dont believe that's what he deserves... if he ever finds this hell be even more pissed that I'm even concerned about what he'll do if he leaves.. he always told me to not care and that if I ever do want to leave him to not worry about that and just get it over with sooner.. thing is I dont want to leave I just want my baby back... the one that didnt yell or didnt want to hit me at all... I want our old relationship back.. I guess I want to know if that's even possible at this point. any words from anyone would be really nice right now.. if only to just feel like someone's talking to me.. my fiance is literally the only person I talk to and the closest thing to a friend I have. and i dont tell my parents any of what's happening because they're stressed enough so I've been basically alone for 4 years with no one but my fiance to talk to..

granted it's my fault I havent made other friends but I've been so stressed recently that I havent done much about it for many reasons..

update: he just finished telling me that hes only had half a burger in the last 3 days, (due to stress) he just wanted to let me know that apparently.

[comfortwriting]

A Walk To Remember - R.W

Ron Weasley x Fem Reader - Part 2/2

Masterlist, Requesting Rules, Part 1

Based HEAVILY on the movie: A Walk To Remember.

Warnings: mention of cancer, death, heavy theme of religion and god, blasphemy, fluff, sadness.

“I still can’t believe you kissed her” Hannah laughed, irritating Ron and making Lavender bitter. “You’d think after working so hard on her appearance she’d stick to it”

Ron couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t keep allowing his friends to slander you like this, you were kind, patient and saw light in most darkest places. Ron couldn’t have them beating on someone who had done nothing but go out of her way to help others.

“Shove off, Hannah.” Ron replied “she’s fine the way she is”

Although Ron was blown away by your dolled up look during the performance, he didn’t ponder on it - since that night it didn’t matter how you looked, it didn’t matter if you were covered in makeup or bare faced - you were the most stunning girl he had ever laid eyes on.

He truly felt as if you were the light in his darkness, the hand that was pulling him out of every awful situation he could’ve gotten himself stuck into; it was thanks to you that he had been staying out of trouble.

Seamus scoffed and laughed, pulling a face at Dean. “One kiss and you’re suddenly all into her” Seamus walked over to Ron “she’s changing you and you don’t even realise”

“You don’t know her like I do.” Ron replied “If you did you’d show her some respect.”

After walking away from Ron, you didn’t go back to Hogwarts for the rest of the week. You started to feel more sick, more tired, you didn’t have the energy to walk up the stairs and to stand behind a simmering couldron for hours at a time.

Instead you laid in bed, your dad reading to you and helping you with your work, stroking your hair and praying each and every night for you to be given more time.

By the early evening you had gotten enough energy to sit outside in your rocking chair on the porch, watching the sunset and questioning wether it would be your last.

Ron walked out infront of you and stepped onto your porch, holding a big square box in his hands with an orange ribbon formed into a beautiful bow keeping the lid on.

Ron walked over to you and handed the box to you “I uh, got this for you”

You took the box from him and smirked, pulling apart the ribbon and taking off the lid.

Inside the battered box you were met with multiple hand knitted sweaters, all with the letter ‘R’ on the front, your heart melted and you could feel your cheeks getting red.

You looked up at Ron and smiled, you hadn’t felt this good all week.

“Thank you!” You chose the maroon sweater and pulled it over your head, instantly engulfed in the warmth and beautiful feel of the fabric.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” Ron tapped his hand against his pant leg, feeling slightly awkward, his ears reddening.

Your father came outside, his eyes falling on Ron.

“I think it’s best that you get on your way Mr Weasley.” Your father cleared his throat, walking over to you and taking the box off you.

You continued to smile and wave at Ron “I’ll see you on Monday.”

Ron nodded and felt like for the first time in his life he had achieved something worth celebrating, despite the countless things he had achieved before.

“See you then.” He smiled, walking away.

Your father waited for Ron to disappear into the shadows before he helped you out of your chair, taking you to your room he sat the box down at the end of your bed.

“I warned you about him, y/n.” He reminded you.

“Dad it’s just a collection of sweaters, okay?” You tried to remind him, snuggling into your new one that smelled like Ron. “God wants me to be happy, dad. Ron makes me happy.”

Feeling better and stronger than the previous week, you returned to Hogwarts wearing one of Ron’s sweater, keeping you safe from the cold breeze.

Lavender spotted you and instantly ditched her class, storming over to you with her hands in fists.

“Where have you been?” She asked you “I’ve been looking everywhere!”

You stared at her and wondered if she was looking right through you, if she had gotten you confused with someone else but then again she spent every day taunting you so how could she mistake you for someone else?

“I’m sorry? What?”

Lavender’s eyes hovered over your jumper, her eyes burning into the large ‘R’.

“Havent you heard?” She looked saddened, grabbing your hand and pulling you down the halls.

“Heard what? Please just tell me, and slow down.” You panted, trying to slow down.

Bursting into Ron’s common room your face dropped as you caught a glance at what was on the hundreds of sheets of papers were floating around the room, falling swiftly to the floor.

Lavender caught the paper and shoved it in your face, laughing cruelly at you.

“You look rather dashing.”

On the paper was a lude drawing, a caricature of you alongside your God, the very image shattering your innocence and self esteem.

Everyone in the common room burst into laughter, all of them staring at the drawing and back at you, pointing.

Turning around to run away Rom bumped into you, holding you in his arms.

“Ignore it love, I’ll sort them out alright?”

You nodded and stared at the floor, covering your ears with your hands, you closed your eyes and started to collapse in on yourself - all this stress wasn’t good for your health.

Ron stopped the drawings from dancing across the room that mocked you and your faith. Seamus and Dean stopped laughing, Hannah and Lavender’s faces turning sour.

“What’s up with you, mate?” Seamus asked, a holding a drawing in his hand “don’t you like it?”

Ron snatched the drawing from his friend, glaring at him.

“You bumped your head or something?” His tone gruff “do you have any idea how disrespectful this is?”

Seamus shook his head and scoffed, trampling on the drawings as he stepped closer to Ron. “Are you seriously choosing the bible freak over us?”

Ron couldn’t hold back anymore, his anger had been pent up for so long it was spilling out like an over flowing cup of tea.

“I’ve had enough of you, toss pot!” Ron swung for Seamus and almost knocked him through the wall.

Dean got in between the two of them, Seamus filled with rage and sporting a bruise whilst Ron was left with a bruised knuckle.

Ron thought you were worth fighting for, worth everything in his life, but you took a hold of his arm and pulled him back.

“They aren’t worth it, Ron.” You cried “let’s just go”

Ron walked you to your dorm room, holding his hand in yours. The two of you sat on your bed, Ron stroking your hair and calming you down. Ron’s eyes met with yours and felt like millions of fairies were sparkling in your eyes, dancing around in circles.

“Y/N, would you fancy going on a date with me?” 

You smiled, your heart feeling as light as a feather, your life finally looking up after it fell apart two years earlier but that one thing, you secret kept clawing at you, reminding you that you couldn’t go through with it.

“I wish I could, I really want to Ron, more than anything but I’m not allowed” you bowed your head and messed with your hands, lacing and unlacing your fingers. 

“Look, we wont snog or do anything that would be deemed as sinful-”

You shook your head and chuckled at Ron taking your faith into account, feeling so flattered that he didn’t question your beliefs anymore after bashing you for many years of your life.

“It’s not that, it’s my dad, he won’t let me.” 

“I know you dislike me, it’s why I want to ask you, you know, and not go behind your back but - can I have your permission to take Y/N on a date?”

Your father shut down Ron immediately “not a chance”

“I’ve said sorry hundreds of times, Mr Y/L/N.” Ron paced around your living room “You believe faith is important and your daughter does, can’t you have faith in me?” 

“I can’t believe you actually asked my dad!” You beamed, stepping into Madame Puddifoot’s “I can’t believe I’m in here!”

Ron smiled and pulled out a chair for you, feeling his heart skip beats, you feeling comfortable in another one of his sweaters and looking around the room, the stars in your eyes twinkling.

“Well I wasn’t going to go behind his back after you said no, can’t risk getting another Howler from my mum and dad now can I?” Ron smirked, handing you a menu “whatever you want is on me, love.” 

The two of you were drunk on love leaving Madame Puddifoot’s, walking through Hogsmeade, hand in hand and a giggly mess. 

“I’ll never forget how cute you looked in your dress robes at the yule ball” you chirped, pulling Ron into your arms “but I don’t recall seeing you dance that night.” 

Ron cringed “I don’t dance” but he still swayed along with you and held you in his arms. 

“Your list then, what else is on it?” Ron asked, the two of you finally reaching Hogwarts.

“Well, I’d love to be able to see a Niffler in person. I’ve only seen them in my books and the last time Hagrid had them I was sick.” you replied, sneaking off to your dorm.

Ron stopped you, both of you so exhausted but not wanting the night to end. He searched your kind, twinkling eyes, leaning in the two of you kissed, sparks shocking your lips. This wasn’t like the kiss you shared at the theatre, this kiss was the start of something beautiful - something your father warned you about - something Ron promised wouldn’t happen. 

Pulling away from the kiss Ron pursed his lips and blushed “I love you, Y/N.”

You were so afraid of this happening, you didn’t want this to happen whilst you were walking on the path God had put you on, but you didn’t know how long you had left. 

“You promised me you wouldn’t” you replied softly, tears welling in your eyes.

Dean, Seamus, Lavender and Hannah’s eyes stalked you and Ron like a hawk. The two of you finally displaying your love and relationship to everyone around you, you constantly wearing his sweaters, holding his hand, laughing with him and sneaking kisses whenever you had the chance.

“You’re going to love this” Ron smiled, accompanying you to Hagrids Hut.

You felt excited and you couldn’t wait to see what Ron had been hiding, taking the large wooden crate from Hagrid you could hear scratching noises and little breaths.

Opening the box you almost wailed with joy, inside laid a Niffle, holding gold in its hands, looking proud and mischievous.

“Oh Ron! Hagrid!” You beamed, trying to contain the fireworks that were exploding inside of you “Thank you so much, I can’t believe it!”

You held the Niffler in your arms, stroking it gently and loving it as if it were your own. Hagrid and Ron were overjoyed and felt like they could watch you for hours, this had to be one of the happiest days of your life.

After ticking off another box from your list Ron couldn’t help but ask, dying to know what was number one on your list.

You felt slightly embarrassed but you trusted him enough to no longer hide it from him, your no.1 was to get married, to be able to wear your mothers wedding dress and be with her on the happiest day of your life.

But unfortunately, the happy days wouldn’t last forever.

Walking through Hogsmeade you felt your palms get clammy, the nausea inside of you swirl like a tornado, your energy crumbling away once more.

Ron kept talking away about Nifflers, talking about bringing you back to the burrow to meet his family but he stopped when he realised you were miles away.

“Y/N, you alright?” Ron asked, looking concerned “don’t worry, you’re going to pass your N.E.W.Ts”

You stopped outside Honey Dukes and shook your head, pulling Ron aside. “It’s not that”

You felt like your secret was creeping up your stomach, up your oesophagus, threatening to come hurling out of your mouth like vomit.

“Ron, I’m sick.” You revealed, hoping he would catch on.

But the golden haired boy didn’t understand “Want me to take you to Madame Pomfrey?”

You found yourself growing more frustrated “No, Ron. She can’t help me, I.. I’ve got cancer.”

Your secret finally jumped off the top of your tongue, springing off the diving board and landing on Ron’s heart, splitting it into pieces.

Ron felt his whole world spin, your news echoing in your mind, he didn’t want to believe this, he couldn’t.

“What, they’ve made a mistake—“

More tears spilled down your face “I found out a year after the Triwizard Tornament. They gave me two years, they can’t do anything to get rid of it, the treatments aren’t working anymore.”

Ron could feel his heart ache, screaming out for help, for mercy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice shook, choking on tears.

You pursed your lips and tried to swallow the huge lump that formed in your throat.

“Because I didn’t want everyone to treat me differently, to have another reason to stare at me, another reason to talk about me.”

Ron shook his head, feeling cross with himself for everything he had said and done in the past. “But I’m your boyfriend, you should’ve told me!”

“I made you promise you wouldn’t fall in love with me!” You raised your voice, feeling yourself go dizzy for a moment “don’t give me a reason to be angry with God!”

You walked away and ran back to your dads, ready for him to welcome you into his arms, softening the horrible blow the best he could.

Ron hurried, storming into the common room, doing something he thought he wouldn’t ever do again. He searched for Harry.

Ron found Harry in his dorm room, Harry put down his book and stared at the lad who was once his best friend.

“You’ve got to get Dumbledore to help her, Harry.” Ron panicked, pacing around the room.

“Help who? Ron what’s happened?”

Ron wiped away more falling tears with the back of his sleeve “Y/N is dying of cancer, Harry we’ve got to help her—“

“There’s nothing he can do Ron, you can’t put a stopper in death when it comes to this, you already know this Ron.”

Ron felt even more enraged and stormed out, cursing Harry, telling him it was a waste of time even trying to make amends.

Like clockwork, as soon as you told Ron the truth, you started to deteriorate. You couldn’t complete your classes anymore and you were forced to drop out of Hogwarts, you were staying at your dads in Hogsmeade permanently now and all you did was sleep.

When you weren’t sleeping, you were throwing up, struggling to look after yourself, you didn’t even have enough energy to pick up your bible and read it.

The days didn’t stand out to you anymore, they sort of just blurred into one - the only comfort you got was when you saw Ron’s angelic face smiling at you each time you closed your eyes to doze off.

The news of your illness spread through out Hogwarts and Ron found himself with more love and support than he thought was possible. Dean and Seamus sat with him outside in the stands whilst the Quidditch pitch was empty, the two of them promising Ron they would help him no matter what and that they were so sorry to hear the news.

Hannah also apologised to Ron and offered her support, going as far as telling him that he looked the happiest he had ever been when he was with you, that you brought out a part of him that no one had ever seen before, the part that only Harry and Hermione had seen.

Lavender took her time but finally reached out to her ex, putting her bitterness and jealousy behind her. Lavender hugged Ron and poured her heart out to him, expressing how sorry she was, how neither of you deserved such a thing. In her hands she held onto the photos she had taken on the night of the performance, handing them to Ron, she urged him to see you and walked away.

Turning up with flowers and handfuls of ‘get well soon’ cards, Ron was greeted by your father on your porch.

“I know you don’t want me here but tell her I’m not leaving her, I never will.”

Your father smiled and instead of turning Ron away, he welcomed him inside and allowing him to come and see you.

“How are you not angry at God?” Ron asked, the two of you cuddling in your bed, surrounded by poems and bible verses about having strength and keeping faith in the lord.

You sighed and looked into his gorgeous eyes “I accepted that Gods plan for me is bigger than the plan of my own.” You replied “you were sent to me for a reason, Ron. You’re my angel.”

Ron stroked your cheek with his thumb, planting a kiss on your nose, instantly remembering why he fell in love with you - you were accepting, you were patient, you couldn’t feel hatred towards anyone, you were the most purest person he had ever met.

“Are you scared?” Ron asked, not wanting to imagine a life where you did not exist.

“I’m scared of not being with you.” You replied, snuggling into his chest, tracing circles into his chest.

Ron knew that this moment was the right moment, it was either now or never.

Pulling away from the cuddle, Ron climbed out of your bed and dived into his back pocket, pulling out a little white box.

Pulling the box open, he got on one knee and looked up at you as you peered over the bed, your eyes twinkling at the beautiful ring that was waiting eagerly for you.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?” He asked through tears.

You stared at the beautiful ring and looked back into Ron’s eyes, you nodded your head.

“Yes.”

As the wedding got closer and closer, you became more sick. You lost lots of weight and you could no longer eat solid food without being sick, you could only suck on sweets that dissolved into your mouth - but even then you would bring up bile.

But no matter how bad you got, Ron stayed by your side, he helped you you feel as good as you possibly could do in your condition. He sang to you, he read to you, he even started praying at night with you.

After going out shopping to help your dad get everything he needed for the wedding, Ron walked into your bedroom to find Dumbledore and Harry sitting beside your bed, the two of them talking to you and telling you to take the medicine they had given you to help you hold on for your special day.

Ron stopped in the door way, his jaw dropping to the floor. Dumbledore nodded at Harry, encouraging him to go and talk to Ron, the two of them taking leaving you and Dumbledore for a moment on your own.

Ron couldn’t speak, he didn’t care to either. Instead, he pulled Harry into a tight and desperate hug, almost squeezing the life out of him. His head resting on Harry’s shoulder, his tears sinking into his shirt.

“Thank you, Harry - thank you.”

Harry held Ron and patted his back, promising him that no matter what, everything would be okay in the end.

As much as your love for Ron grew, you still wasn’t getting any better, but the potion Dumbledore gave you ensured that you were finally able to achieve the most important part of your list, the one thing you never thought was possible.

On one side, your family and friends surrounded the hall and Ron’s on the other. Everyone attending the wedding was so excited yet couldn’t help but feel nothing but sorrow for you.

Gripping onto your fathers arm, the music began to play as he walked you down the isle and although your mother wasn’t there physically - you could feel her presence around you, you had part of her clinging onto you - wearing her beautiful sleeveless lace white dress.

Reaching the altar, you blushed seeing Ron in another set of dress robes - this was the Ron you knew, the Ron you were once so desperate to find.

Whilst repeating your vows out loud, the amazing memories the two of you shared flickered in your mind, the first time you both met, your first class together, your first kiss, spending hours talking outside on the porch, all of these memories you were so lucky to remember until the end of your days.

“I do.”

“I do.”

Sealing your eternal love with a kiss, you could finally tick box number one off your list.

Ron took you by the hand and led you over to the dance floor.

“But I thought you said you didn’t dance?” You smirked, trying not to get your hopes up.

Ron laughed and looked over at Neville “I got lessons from a familiar bloke, he’s quite a good dancer.”

You shook your head and couldn’t stop laughing, accepting Ron’s offer for a dance.

“Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.” Ron reminded himself, holding back tears and tightening his grip on your bouquet of sunflowers.

One month after the wedding, you began your journey God had set out for you, leaving Ron behind for a moment that would feel like only a minute for you but a lifetime for him.

But that month was full of love, laughter and happiness that the two of you wouldn’t change for the world.

Ron walked over to your place of rest, putting down the sunflowers and rubbing your headstone.

He opened up one of your books you had given him, full of the bible verses he once couldn’t bear to hear, the love poems he refused to read, and snippets from the script the two of you had spent hours learning together.

He looked down at his wedding ring and smiled, looking back on the page in your book.

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous.

Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish.

It does not take offense and is not resentful.

Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth.

It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”

He read out, pulling out the photos Lavender had taken of the two of you, watching you and himself perform on stage, wishing he could go back and do it all again.

Taglist: @reeophidian , @amourtentiaa

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

[machine-gun-casie]

Radio Interview

you just love talking about your boyfriend, machine gun kelly, and zach sang is not complaining.

a/n: if yall havent seen zach sang’s stuff on youtube i definitely recommend you do so, he is so lovely and such a good interviewer. 

also thankyou so much to @harringtonstudios​ for reading it for me and @fandom-central27​ deserves some credit for helping me brainstorm and make this fic sooo much longer than it was going to be in the first place

wc: 4.6k

“Hello! Welcome to the Zach Sang show! Today I have with me the oh so lovely y/n l/n. Thank you for coming.” Zach introduced you, officially starting the radio broadcast. 

You smiled and leaned back on the couch. “Thank you for having me. You’ve got such a comfy studio, man. It’s so great. A bit chilly though, wish I brought a blanket.” You laughed, shivering a little. The place was so comfy, bean bags everywhere. They had you and your mic set up on a really nice gray couch.

“Yeah, the ac’s been going crazy. We’ll get you a blanket though.” Zach motioned to someone outside of the studio.

"No it’s alright.” As soon as the words left your mouth, an assistant entered with a fluffy white blanket. “You know what, I can’t really say no to that.” You laughed.

“Alright, now that we’re all wrapped up and cozy. Hey, how are you?” Zach smiled warmly, his bubbly personality shining through instantly.

“I’m really really good, thank you for asking. I’ve been in a really good place recently. How about you?”

Zach sighed and rolled his eyes. “You know, going through some stuff. But it’s all good. If things aren’t meant to be, they aren’t meant to be.”

“Oh no.” You frowned. “You got some relationship trouble, huh? Yeah, my philosophy is the same, to be honest. Can’t force something that isn’t in the cards for you.”

“I agree one hundred percent. But you gotta have some good relationship advice for me. I mean, your relationship seems to be flourishing.” Zach smiled. You felt the blood rushing to your cheeks. Everyone knew it was going to come to this. You wouldn’t even be surprised if the whole interview was going to be about this.

“Maybe.” You smiled, hands coming up to hide your blushing face.

“Oh come on now, you’re definitely not this shy on your socials.” Zach teased.

“Yeah, but that’s different, man. That’s not like, face to face. Do we really gotta talk about this?” Your nervous laughter made your comment light, letting the radio show host know you were kidding.

“You know we have to. You and Machine Gun Kelly. Who knew? Like, the biggest shock of the year so far.” Zach laughed. “You and him are so different. You’re like America’s pop sensation sweetheart right now. And he’s a rockstar!”

“I know! I thought no way would he even give me the time of the day!” You giggled.

“But I read that you were a big fan before even meeting him. Is that true?”

“Oh definitely! Most people look at me and my career and they immediately label me a pop fan, but it’s not true. I mean, I obviously love pop, but I can like other things too. I’ve been part of the EST family for a while now.” You clarified.

“And EST, that’s Kelly’s fan base, is that correct?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Now, how the hell did y’all meet? It was so sudden for the rest of us. How could your paths have crossed?” Zach laughed.

“It’s kind of a long story...” You trailed off.

“And I am so very willing to listen.” Zach smiled. It wasn’t even like he was interviewing you, it was like he was your best friend and he wanted all the details.

“Well, a while ago, I was the musical guest on SNL.” You explained.

Zach’s eyes lit up. “Yes! I remember that, you were great. That was almost a year ago! Has this been going on for that long?”

“Kind of.” You shrugged, giggling. Zach rolled his eyes and continued. 

“Anyways, you did uhh two songs at SNL, right? You did ‘Hold Me’ and what was the other one?”

“I did ‘Hold me’ and I did ‘PDA’. It was so much fun. I even got to be in one of the sketches, but like only in the background. Honestly a dream come true.” You gleamed. Having been a fan of SNL since your childhood, the statement was definitely true. But you might have been trying to steer the subject away a little and Zach caught on.

“Yes, and I don’t doubt that. But I wanna hear more about the love story.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” You laughed. “So, the week before the live show, as a guest star, you have to go to the writers. You only really go if you’re in the sketches, and I wasn’t really, but I begged them to go. I wanted to see the whole process. And I knew of Pete Davidson working there obviously.”

“And Pete is friends with Kelly, right?” Zach asks, clarifying the storyline in his head and for the listeners.

“Yeah, they’re insanely close. So I go into Pete’s office, right? And I know he’s friends with him obviously. So I try to casually mention that I’m a fan, not only of Colson, but also of Pete himself.” You laugh and Zach knows where it's going.

“Did the casual approach work out for you?” He laughs.

“I’m not quite sure.” You giggle. “I was super nervous and sweaty. I’m pretty sure I stuttered throughout the whole thing. But Pete is the coolest person ever and such a good friend that he was just excited I was a fan of Colson’s. So we started planning. He says he can try to put me in the back of a sketch wearing some merch for the new album.” 

“And Hotel Diablo had just come out back then, right?”

“Yes, and I was super into it, but I didn’t have any merch. So Pete said he would hook me up.” 

“Did you expect to be able to meet Kelly after this whole plan?”

“I honestly expected to leave with some new merch and that’s it.” You laughed. “But to my surprise, Colson came on the Saturday of. Pete had told him about me being a fan and he wanted to surprise me.”

“How surprised were you, on a scale of one to ten?”

“Like, one billion.” You gushed. “I don’t remember much of the encounter, but I remember him hugging me and I was definitely crying.”

“Oh yeah, I saw the video. Full on blubbering.” Zach laughed. 

You gasped. “There’s a video? You have to send it to me. Anyways, his daughter was there too and she asked for a picture. I said okay, but I’m sure I looked so bad in it. Like, mascara all down my red cheeks. So I go home and Colson follows me back on Instagram the next day.”

“Did you slide into the dm’s?” Zach smirked.

“You know I did. I had to! But I was fully expecting to be ignored.”

“As one does.”

“Exactly. But he replied and we started chatting. It didn’t really feel real. Like texting him and stuff, I was chill. Because it felt so fake. At that point, I used to live in New York, so it was only really texting. We face-timed a few times, which also felt surreal. Then he came to New York to surprise me and I freaked. Seeing him in the flesh again brought back the same excitement.”

“At this point, was it official?”

“Not really, like we kept telling everyone we were just friends. And it hadn’t gotten to the press yet, and we wanted to keep it like that, so only close friends knew. But I was smitten. We both knew it was going somewhere, but we were being gentle with it.”

“Yeah, the concept of new relationships is so fragile. Sometimes you both want to dive in but you don’t know if you should.” Zach rationed, voicing his thoughts.

“That’s what it felt like, to be honest. But after that first stage, it just became so incredibly easy for us.”

“Not surprisingly, because you are known to be a complete romantic. I mean, all your songs and your whole aesthetic. Your album is literally called ‘Love Love’.” Zach chuckled. “Tell me about that, the process of naming the album and writing the songs and all that. How did you know it was going to focus directly on love?”

You let out a breath and tried to organize your thoughts to form proper words. “I’ve always been so in love with love, so I knew it just had to be centered around that. Like not just romantic love, even platonic love. Some of the songs, well most of the songs on the album, are about platonic love. I had never had a serious relationship until Colson really, so my understanding of romantic love was very minimal.”

“Really? I would have never guessed. The way you write about love seems like it comes from vast experience.”

“Yeah, it was experience in platonic love. In all of my friendships, I always put my all into it, which isn’t always right. But it’s just the way I am. So when a friendship ends, it truly feels like a heart break.”

“So your song ‘No Longer’ isn’t about a relationship?”

“No, it’s about a friend I had. A best friend, actually. We were so close, people actually thought we were dating. But something happened between us and it was so painful. I have so many songs written about that, but some are so specific that the person and what they did would no longer be secret. It wouldn’t be right, you know?”

“I completely understand, sometimes things are just for yourself.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“The song that most resonated with fans was ‘I’m (Not) Crying For You’. Did you know it was going to be this well loved?”

“Yeah, they went crazy over that one. I didn’t think it would be this popular at all. Since ‘PDA’ and ‘Hold Me’ were like the singles with the music videos, I thought those would be the hits if there were any. But yeah, people really loved ‘I’m (Not) Crying For You’.”

“Can you explain the song and what it means to you?”

“I would love to. As a teenager, whenever I would lose a friend, I would always turn to break up songs. I always felt like the lyrics depicting the end of a relationship worked with friendships as well, but it was annoying to me.”

“Why annoying?”

“Because they aren’t about friendships. They’re about relationships. And I did relate, but not to every line. Cause some lyrics would mention like marriage and sex and those things aren’t related to friendships. I didn’t like the fact that I had to pick and choose the lyrics that spoke to me.”

“So this song is for everyone. I love that.”

“Yeah, I tried to keep it as vague as possible so that anyone going through the end of something could relate. And with the end of anything, you always want to seem like you’re doing fine to the other person. Like, make them think that them leaving hasn’t affected you. So you know, I don’t want them to see me cry. But if they do, they should know that the tears aren’t for them, when in reality they are.”

“Yeah, I noticed that. It’s a great hype song, though. Like it has sad lyrics, but the beat and everything really makes it feel like it’s meant to get over someone.”

“Yeah, it is! I love hype songs where it’s like ‘Fuck you, I don’t need you anymore!’ I drew a lot of inspiration from songs like that.”

“What’s your hype song? Everyone has that one song after someone screws them over.”

“Mine is actually ‘The Break Up’ by Kells. I have every lyric to that song seared into my brain.” You laughed. 

“Really?” Zach asked, raising his eyebrows and letting out a laugh.

“Yeah, I play it when I’m getting my makeup done before performances. Colson thought it was hilarious.”

“I think it’s adorable. Literally relationship goals.” Zach exclaimed. “Alright, another one of your songs that I love is ‘Tattoo’. That one just speaks to me.” Zach smiled, looking so incredibly genuine.

“Really?” You gleamed. “That’s one of my favorites. I just love tattoos, the idea of having something on your body forever is just so romantic to me. Not even matching tattoos or anything. Just the ink itself.”

“Me too! But you don’t have any, right?” 

“I just got my first one!” You smiled. You got your first tattoo with Colson about a week prior. “Well, I actually got 2. Very small, though. Not really noticeable. I love those small one needle tattoos, I find them to be so pretty.”

“When did you get them done?” Zach asked. “Because I remember you once said in an interview that you had none.”

“Yeah, I got them a week ago with Colson.” You rolled your eyes as you could almost see the headlines. “Now everyone’s gonna be like ‘Machine Gun Kelly ruined me’ or something.”

“Obviously not, but yeah I know what you mean. Headlines and tabloids are just awful. But he has to have influenced you somehow, right. Two incredibly different personalities coming together. Are your personalities super different or is it just superficial?”

“Yes and no. Outwardly, we both have very different personalities. But when it comes down to it, I feel like we aren’t the same but we work well together. He makes me laugh and he helps me heal. Overall, he just makes me a better person. And he’s so impulsive at times and I feel like I need that.”

“How-how is he impulsive in ways that you need? How can impulsivity help a relationship?” Zach asked.

You hummed, looking at your hands. “I second guess a lot and then I regret it. Last week we were talking at like 3 in the morning about my song ‘Tattoo’, actually.” You motioned your hands to Zach because you were previously discussing the same thing. “He asked me why I didn’t have any if I loved them so much, and I didn’t have an answer. So he called over his artist the next day, and I definitely don’t regret what I got so far.”

Zach looked over at you, as if he was trying to find them and you laughed. “No, you can’t see them. I mean, I can show you?”

“Yes, please do.”

“I got one on my ribs, like on the side. I’ll show you a picture of that. And I got one on my head.” You explained as you took out your phone and looked through your camera roll.

“Woah, you went hard for your first tattoos!” Zach exclaimed. “Isn’t the pain worse the closer you are to the bone?”

“Yeah, yeah it is. It’s what I’ve read anyways. But they were quick, because like I said, they're very small. No shading or anything.” You found the picture and turned your phone to Zach. “I got ‘Love Love’ on my ribs, in the same font as the album cover, but super small. And the other one is under my hair. I had to shave a square off.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t show unless I pull my hair up at a specific place.” You turned and lifted your hair. “It’s ‘Hotel Diablo’ surrounded by a little border in Colson’s handwriting. He got the same one back when the album came out, in the same place too.”

“So they’re matching?”

“Yeah, he got ‘Love Love’, too. A lot of people online always say to never get matching tattoos, but I don’t really care. Even if it doesn’t work out, which I hope isn’t the case, ‘Hotel Diablo’ is one of my favorite albums and has helped me grow as a person. I just hope he doesn’t regret the one he got for me.” You laughed.

“Does he like your album? He doesn’t seem to be much of a pop guy.”

"He used to tease me when we first started talking about how he would never listen to it and all that. But he was actually like analyzing the songs.”

“No way! That is cute, relationship goals again! Man, you guys are unbelievable.”

“Yeah, he surprised me. But as a fellow artist and songwriter, he knew that he could probably find out a lot about me just through my songs.”

“And did he? Do you see him do something for you and you think ‘he did that because of this song or that song’?”

“Sometimes.” You ponder. “But he and I are just on the same wavelength, I feel. He takes one look at me and he knows what to do. It’s insane.” You chuckled. 

“On the topic of songs, have you written any about him? Has he written anything about you?”

“Oh, I’ve definitely written about him. I’ve got like dozens. Shit, he doesn’t know that.” You realized. “Fuck, I hope he’s not listening. Anyways, I don’t think he’s written anything about me. When he’s high as fuck though, he freestyles about everything. He’s written a song about asking me to do some... things that I will not say on camera. He’s just always spittin’ fire. The talent that that man possesses is mind blowing.”

“Watching him come up with it must be incredible.”

You nodded your head vigorously. “One hundred percent. He’s got a home studio, and some days we just never leave that place. I don’t even need to be writing or recording anything, I just sit and watch him. I’ve been around many a songwriter in my time on this earth, but I’ve never seen one work like this man does.”

“Let me just say, you are absolutely glowing when you talk about him and your album.” Zach smiled.

“Thank you! Like I said, I’m in a really good place right now. This album really made me feel like I took a lot off my shoulders. Like I put all those emotions out there and they’re no longer weighing on me. And Colson… Well, Colson’s just Colson.” You smiled.

“Speaking of your boyfriend, I’m getting a message that he’s coming into the studio.” Zach said as he looked at his phone.

“What?” You asked, sitting up on the couch and looking towards the door. A few seconds later, your tall, lanky boyfriend walked in.

“Hey! Hope I’m not crashing or anything.” Colson smiled, jumping over the back of the couch to sit next to you.

“Well you kind of are. This is my interview. You said you’d pick me up when I was done.” You pouted.

“Don’t give me that cute ass pout. Thought I’d come a little earlier, besides you’ve been mainly talking about me.” He smirked, sending you a wink.

“That is very true.” Zach said. “She can’t stop, but I am not complaining.”

“Ugh, don’t encourage him.” You groaned playfully. “I’m never gonna hear the end of this.”

“Nope.” Colson agreed, excited to tease you about it later. “I’m sorry, Zach, for just crashing like this.”

“No, it’s alright! Make yourself at home. I’m sure everyone who’s tuned in is incredibly surprised. How are you, Machine Gun Kelly?”

“Kells is fine. I know the whole thing can be a mouthful.” Colson chuckled. “I’m doing great. Got a really inflated ego after hearing you guys praising me all morning.”

“We have been, haven’t we? But I would say that’s mostly y/n’s fault, to be honest.” Zach pointed at you, throwing you under the bus.

“Hey, don’t put it all on me! You asked the questions!” You exclaimed, laughing along. You turned to Colson and pulled him in closer. “Don’t listen to him, he just wants to get on your good side.”

Colson laughed and draped his arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side. You reached out and placed the blanket over his legs as you cuddled into him. “It’s alright, if you were interviewing me, I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Now you guys are just making me jealous.” Zach scoffed. “So Kells, please tell us your side of the story of how you two met.”

“Alright, only two people know about this story. So this is incredibly valuable information.” Colson started out. You expected to be one of the two people, so you were shocked when he didn’t say your name. “Pete and my daughter.”

“What?” You exclaimed. “I’m in the story, how do I not know?”

“It’s before the SNL show, like when Pete told me about you. I never told you how that went down.”

“Oh my God, I’m all ears. Go ahead.” You said, turning to face Colson as he told the story.

“Alright, so I was in New York with my daughter that weekend. I had some business and I was going back home on Sunday, so I brought her along. We were already going to the SNL show before Pete told me about y/n. I knew she was performing, though.”

“You did?” You asked, eyes wide. He kept up with you before meeting you? “Sorry, sorry, continue.”

“Yeah, I did. Casie is a big fan of y/n and her music, so she was really excited about going. I had heard y/n’s songs before, you know on the radio and whenever I would drive with my daughter and she would put on her own music. So I knew the name, but I had never seen a picture of her. When Pete told me he wanted me to come and meet her, I looked her up.”

“Oh no.” You gasped, knowing that your general aesthetic would have probably deterred him from meeting you.

Colson looked back at you when he said his next sentence. “I was like ‘How can this adorable Disney princess looking chick be into my music?’ I couldn’t believe it.”

“Oh my God.” You groaned, bringing your hand up to cover your blushing face.

“No, I’m serious. But I couldn’t stop looking at pictures of her. I wanted to follow her, but I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise. My daughter was teasing me, telling me that I had to get her number during the show. I didn’t of course, like the idiot that I am. But I did follow her on Instagram the next day. Pete was smug the whole time, though.”

“Of course he would be.” You rolled your eyes and snorted. “But I mean, we have to thank him for all of this. Without him, we probably wouldn’t have met.”

“No, we would have. I was still going to go to the show. We would have seen each other and Casie would have still asked for a picture.” Colson said.

“True, but you and I both know we wouldn’t have talked beyond that. I would’ve been too nervous to say anything.” You replied.

“Oh yeah, definitely. I would have been too taken aback by your beauty to say anything either.” Colson nodded.

“Oh shut up!” You laughed, hitting his chest.

“And how did your daughter react to the blooming relationship?” Zach asked Colson.

“She’s usually like, indifferent about my relationships. But this time, she wanted all the updates. When I told her I would be flying back to New York a few weeks later to surprise y/n, she begged me to come with. But I had to leave her, you know?”

“Yeah, of course. Quality time with your S/O is rare when you have a kid.” Zach replied.

“Tell me about it! And then this crazy busy job, too. You’ve got no free time. I finally had a free week and I knew I had to go see this one or it wouldn’t have gone anywhere.” Colson said, pulling you closer when mentioning you.

“And did you, Colson, think you two were gonna end up together?” Zach asked.

“I was hoping so!” Colson laughed. “I was gonna hit her up, but she beat me to it. I was gonna try to get with her, but I didn’t think she would like me. But I’m so glad she did. Don’t know how I lived without her.” Colson looked into your eyes as he spoke, smiling like the love sick doofus that he is.

“Aw, now how long have you been together for? The world’s only known for about a month now, right?” Zach asked.

“Yeah, we posted on Instagram on the 29th of last month. So a little less than a month.” You said, looking at Colson for confirmation.

“Yeah, we waited for a long time. But we’ve been together going on 9 months now.” Colson said and you nodded.

“Woah, that’s crazy! How did you manage to keep it a secret for so long?” Zach wondered, as the length of the relationship was surprising.

“It was hard, I can tell you that.” You chuckled. “ Colson would always post about his ‘secret girlfriend’ and all that. Like, pictures of us holding hands and stuff. It was easy for him, he could just crop my face out. But for me, it was much harder.” You sighed.

“Oh my God, it would have been so hard with all his tattoos!” Zach exclaimed when he understood your struggle.

“Yeah, I got so many tattoos. Anyone could just look it up and find out. But she would post sometimes like, really strategic pictures. I was amazed at how she could do it. But it made it easier that people knew we were in a relationship to keep it a secret. Like, they knew I had a girl, but they didn’t know who it was.”

“Yeah, exactly. Like I just had to keep his name a secret, not the fact that I had a boyfriend. It wouldn’t have been a secret for too long if it was like that ‘cause I never shut up about him.” You laughed.

“Yes, I remember those cryptic tweets all the time. All the tabloids were about y/n l/n’s secret boyfriend.” Zach laughed.

“It was so funny watching everyone scramble trying to find out who he was. But I’m so glad we’re done with that now.” You sighed, placing your hand on Colson’s chest.

“So am I, we wouldn’t have had this interview if you guys didn’t go public. That was truly a fairytale kind of love story.” Zach sighed. “I loved talking to you guys so much.”

“Aw, thank you Zach. I can’t believe our time together has come to an end. I hope I didn’t bore you, we barely talked about the album.” You laughed. “This interview was more about Machine Gun Kelly than it was about me.”

“No, definitely not. I learned so much about you guys today. And about love as a whole.” Zach laughed. “Now I know what a loving and healthy relationship looks like. I hope we can have you here another time, y/n. And maybe have Kells come for an interview of his own?”

“Definitely, man. We can sort that out, I’ll tell my manager.” Colson nodded at Zach.

“I would love crashing that interview.” You joked, causing everyone to laugh. “But in all seriousness, you are so good at interviewing people, Zach. Just felt like a conversation with a lifelong friend.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Colson agreed. “Some interviewers feel too pushy and just overall fake. Not you, though.”

“Aww, you’re too nice. You guys were just really easy to talk to. Thank you for coming, y/n. And thank you for joining us, Kells.”

“Thank you for having us, it’s been so fun.” You answered.

“It definitely was, but unfortunately, we only have so much time. Thank you to our wonderful audience for tuning in. This has been an interview with y/n l/n and Machine Gun Kelly, and here’s a word from our sponsor.”

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@bakerkells​

[boogiepilgrim]

thanks for tagging me @taste-thewaste, love ya ⭐

fic writer interview

name: bethany (bluemoves98)

fandoms: ok first off i wanna say i dont . consider myself a fic writer? the one on my account ^ began on a whim. back in the sweet days of yore, summer 2019, on like my fifth watch of rocketman. the part where bernie says "we'll go to my raench. we’ll hide awaehy" hit, and i was like...... um. holy fucking shit. the idea was born. and so i was like, omg i bet ppl ARE writing fics about this. so i went, and i 👀, and i saw the dynamics people were wanting to read about, etc... & the particular one i skimmed through didnt do it for me. like, it just wasnt.. believable where it needed to be, stuff like that. ppl were wanting to read/write about an abusive relationship, but that random one, to ME, was totally off the mark. so, i took the idea i had (the ranch idea, which had branched by this stage into the telephone thing..), and concocted a story that depicted that in a more accurate, there-is-absolutely-nothing-sexy-about-this way. the answer to this question is: rocketman

two-shot?: i..do not know what this really means. i know what a one shot is? hmmm. perhaps you could consider nlh a two-shot considering im lich writing a companion story for it ☺️ xx stay tuned for that x

most popular multi-chapter fic: there only is one babey. out now. sequel coming soon........ im hoping august 8th... . but lets call it "soon"........ . ..

actual worst part of writing: like you said, ambie, finding the time to actually do it. with work n whatever else, it's hard to find stress-free time to do it sometimes

how you choose your titles: in true traditional fashion, title and chapters were all lyric excerpts that i felt pertained in some typa way

do you outline: i doooo. i think you need to, to some degree. like even the bare minimum. i DO love the freedom of taking it in any direction at any given time, but i also enjoy knowing where im headed and where i need to bring everything. the one im writing now, i think, is a lot more steadily outlined than the first one was.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice: i dont actually plan on writing any more after this. ALTHOUGH i have a like lighthearted funny fantasy story based entirely on captain fantastic (the song) that has nothing to do with this, that i started writing on the side, in ye olde drafts. so who knows hunniez

callouts @ me: bitch, you didnt need to do bernie the fish so damn dirty. im sure ppl like @luzff, @rocketthem, @hobbit-with-tea, @killmypiano or anyone whos read it could answer this more accurately. or colourfully. fkhsjfjsjf id love to know

best writing traits: i havent got any idea. again, someone who has read it might be better at answering this.. ummm. something i wanted to accomplish w it was making it one of those fics you'd read that stays with u for some time, ur invested, it’s full of detail, lore. relatability. which i feel like i did. theres stuff to piece together or like draw ur own conclusions about since it's told strictly from one pov. a fair amount lies between the lines. another thing is it's obviously dark, but it's also like . not too serious in places, and as a whole has got like a charming element (regarding the good stuff). SO, more self promo: if you at all cared about nlh n the characters i made up, u may love the second (2nd) pov of it. because there is SO much that i put into nlh that will be brought to light and wrapped up in a NEAT little PACKAGE 🎁 in little miss qat

spicy tangential opinion: im on board w yours amber. one of mine would be: if youre going to write about experiences you havent experienced, even in a fanfic, i feel like you should at least do a lil research on the way. it helps your writing, and also prevents you from putting potentially harmful content out there

idk that many fic writers; i dont read them myself anymore. but i tag: @axlnchas, + anyone else who sees this and wants to 🧡

[gracereadstoomanybooks]

answering questions I’ve been asked on TikTok✨

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QUESTION: how did you get into reading?

So, when I was in middle school (many moons ago) we had this thing called AR Testing. Basically, you read a book and take a test on it—the questions were things that happened in the book, it was really simple. If you got a good grade, you got points. The more points you earned, the more eligible you were for the reading party at the end of each semester. Me, being the nerd I am, got top of my class because I went through 8th grade level books like it was nothing. The librarian at my school brought me books from the high school to read since everything was easy for me, and alas, my addiction began. And now that I have adult money, it’s a true addiction. Also, telling my father “I’m bored” and his response being, “go read a book or something” so thanks dad.

QUESTION: what’s one book you ALWAYS recommend to people?

This one is tough because I’ve read THOUSANDS of books, but if I had to choose one, it would probably be Confess by Colleen Hoover. I fell in love with her work in high school when I first read Ugly Love, but Confess is the type of book that pulls at your heart strings, y’all. It has everything people love: humor, sexual tension, drama, love. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK. Or honestly any book by Colleen Hoover—she’s a fucking amazing author.

QUESTION: outside of making TikToks, what do you do for a living?

I currently work at a restaurant and hate every second of it. If anyone tells you to become a server, DONT. It’s not worth the hassle, I promise you. Sure, you can make decent money but the amount of rude customers and shitty tips you receive each shift is very disheartening. If you really need a job, do anything BUT work in the food industry.

QUESTION: what’s your wattpad story about?

First question: which one? I have about 30 drafts sitting there waiting to be posted. But, I’m going to assume you’re talking about the Harry Styles fan fiction I’ve been working on for the past 4 years and haven’t had the courage to post. I’ll tell you a little about it: Elaine Aldridge is forced into a betrothal to a man she’s never met & loathes. She goes to his court and realizes things aren’t what they truly seem. And the guard her future husband sticks on her??? None other than Mr. Harry Styles. Add in some magic & deaths and you’ve got my story— The First Prince. (Honestly, that’s an extremely shitty description so if you wanna check it out go to my wattpad account)

QUESTION: how old are you?

Ahem. . . twenty-one.

QUESTION: what is your dream career?

Being a published author and having people rave about my books. That’s all. Or, an editor for a publishing company. Imagine reading all day and being paid for it🤩

QUESTION: what was your least favorite read of 2020?

I already KNOW I’m gonna get shit for this but....... the wicked king. YALL I LITERALLY COULDNT GET THROUGH IT IM SO SORRY, I STILL HAVENT FINISHED IT

QUESTION: current favorite author?

Sarah. J. Maas. I don’t know what it is about her writing style, but it’s addicting. Throne of Glass is hands down the best series I’ve ever read. A Court of Thorns and Roses is the first book I’ve EVER reread. Her stories truly suck you in and hold onto you—you get lost so easily in her writing and it’s like once you’re done with a series, nothing will compare. Or, at least that’s how I felt after finishing Kingdom of Ash. Honorable mentions: Jennifer L. Armentrout, Penelope Douglas, L.J Shen, Elle Kennedy and Kennedy Fox.

QUESTION: any recommendations/tips to give to a new reader?

I’ve always given this advice to people who want to get into reading: find what you like and start with that. If you like romance, I’ve got a list for you to choose from. Mystery? Another list. Sci-fi? I GOT YOU. Fantasy? Yes! Sports fiction? It might take me a second but I’ll find you a book. Nonfiction? I’m zero help in that category, honestly. The point of the matter is that you’re never going to enjoy a book if you aren’t interested in the underlying topics.

QUESTION: do you ever find yourself comparing your life to fictional life?

Yes. All the time. I daydream about being apart of the Inner Circle and living in Terrasen with Aelin and Rowan. I think about what it would be like to have real powers and a mate. It drives my boyfriend crazy—but he loves me anyway.

QUESTION: what are your most anticipated books of 2021?

Here’s a list:

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

The Crown of Gilded Bones by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Gods and Monsters by Shelby Mahurin

Crescent City 2 (Untitled) by Sarah J. Maas

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer (I just ordered this one & it arrives tomorrow)

Blessed Monsters by Emily A. Duncan

QUESTION: why did you start a Tumblr?

Honestly, I used to love tumblr when I was in grade school (way too young to be on here then but what else is new). I like having an extra space to get my questions and comments out without having to compress it into a 60 second video for TikTok to see. Tumblr is a good place to blog & post things like this.

QUESTION: what’s your favorite song right now?

I’ve listened to Carry You by Novo Amor every day for the past two months and I cry each time.

QUESTION: why write Harry Styles fan fiction?

Simple: I love Harry Styles. I’ve been a fan of him and One Direction since they were on X FACTOR. Read that again. X. Factor. I used to watch their performances on YouTube before WMYB even came out. Of course, I love all of the 1D boys but I was always a Harry gal. And I look up to him in a way—I’ve read things about people wishing they knew him personally and honestly? I would never want to meet him. I like the version of him I’ve cooked up in my brain over the past 10 years. I like the symbiotic relationship I have with his music. Fine Line is a ✨masterpiece✨. HS1 is a ✨work of art✨.

now, some topics I’ve been asked way too many times and want to finally get to:

QUESTION: political views?

the saying “anyone but trump” has been in my brain for the past four years. No, I’m not a republican. No, I’m not a democrat. I like to think of myself as a progressive (ahem, liberal) Did I vote for a democratic candidate? Yes, and I’d do it again and again until the US isn’t one of the worst countries—I’m sorry, businesses— to be apart of. I wanted Bernie but got Biden, and I’m alright with that. And my girl Kamala🥳

QUESTION: how did you feel about the BLM protests?

I went to multiple BLM protests and donated a lot of funds to BLM & other organizations. It’s 2021, people... stop being fucking RACIST. And don’t be afraid to call racist people out! Black Lives Matter, even if no one is posting about it anymore.

QUESTION: thoughts on abortion?

your body your choice, queen! not my uterus, not my problem.

QUESTION: there was a comment on an old video of yours talking about r*pe, why did you delete the comment?

I made a video when I first started my account on TikTok about reading in public and feeling “turned on” by it. Go watch it if you don’t know what I’m talking about. BUT, some ignorant male decided to comment and say “this is how girls get r*ped”. Whew. So. I deleted the comment because ....

I am a victim of sexual assault. Along with a lot of other women. 1 in 5 women have been victims of sexual assault. Talking about being r*ped isn’t funny.

No one else needed to see his comment. I reported it immediately and his account was shut down.

I never got justice for what happened to me, and the fact that some random male—who had never even met me or seen me before my video showed up on his FYP—had the nerve to comment that? Unacceptable.

this question isn’t as controversial but

QUESTION: what’s the best way to get out of a toxic relationship?

okay, let me just start off by saying that the people around you who love and support you are going to be your backbone. Leaving a toxic situation is hard, and every situation is different, but my best piece of advice to offer you is don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your loved ones are going to be there for you when you need them, even if you don’t believe they will. If you explain what’s happening, someone you know and love will drop whatever it is their doing to make sure you get out safely. good luck my babes.

now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

QUESTION: any tips on making tiktoks?

Literally none. I post what I think is funny and relatable and if anyone agrees, I’m satisfied. Even if it’s one view, it’s good enough for me. So I guess my one tip is to not base your life off of an app and followers.

QUESTION: favorite Harry Styles fanfic?

DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE. Duplicity is up there, along with Stall 1&2, and Kiwi. After? Absolutely not.

QUESTION: favorite WEBTOON?

y’all already KNOW. LORE OLYMPUS BY USEDBANDAID. Rachel is a genius and I have reread the series a million times. Hades is my soulmate and Apollo can rot in the fiery pits of the Underworld. also, if we’re talking about other webcomics, reading Walk on Water on mangadex...🤫

QUESTION: favorite movie?

Howls Moving Castle. I will be getting my “a heart is a heavy burden” tattoo very very soon.

QUESTION: I read your Elain theory on tumblr, can you explain a little more?

I thought I was pretty straightforward but I’ll say it again: she is always the “good” one and it’s too suspicious. SJM has already given one Archeron sister a happy ending, Nesta’s is obviously inevitable, but Elain? She has too many options for a happy ending. Lucien, who is her “mate”. Azriel, who is intrigued by her slightly. Her human guy—I don’t remember his name—who is disgusted that she’s not human anymore. Or, alone, planting flowers all day. BUT! My point is that she’s not truly happy. She was forced into the Cauldron just like Nesta. She was ripped away from the life she loved so dearly and didn’t want to give up. The man she was going to marry now hates her guts because she’s a High Fae. She has the perfect set up for a villain plot line and I’m all here for it.

well, that’s all I feel like doing tonight. hope you enjoyed my little q&a! be kind, and talk to you later! byeeee!

[mollydollyjournals]

Maybe I need to just like. Scream. Loudly. For a few hours.

My concentration is still so bad I'm barely getting anywhere with this same set of nails. Still. I'm trying to keep working on it but my mind is just not doing it because I feel constantly on edge. This is day 3. One set of nails! Jesus they're not that good. I take a long time to do most things but my mind is really just not functioning.

I'm feeling really particularly isolated again. I have nothing to say that might be of interest to anyone else. I dont really even know how to respond to the small amount of interaction I do get. A friend has started being more talkative in our group chat and sent me a message asking for some info on nail art techniques - maybe I'm being self centred but I feel like it could at least partially be an effort to get me talking. If so I appreciate it. But I still dont really have anything to say beyond quick surface responses.

My mum asked if I'm going to see her this weekend. I wouldn't on Sundays because she has a zoom call with relatives I dont want to talk to. It occurred to me that saturday is tomorrow. Part of me wants to go to hers and drink red wine and just connect with someone. The one person who's almost always had my back, or at least has never seriously intentionally opposed me. I want to go see my dog and my kitten and tell her that actually I'm doing pretty bad, I'll probably be divorced by xmas and sometimes I hear things that arent particularly confusing or distressing but they're definitely not real.

But that's not how it works in our dynamic. She had a serious psychotic episode when I was a teenager, and I took care of it all. My younger brother has ongoing psychosis. It's in our family. If I say I hear things she'll only panic. My doctor knows so it's not a secret - if theres one thing I learned from both of their cases, it's not to stay in denial. But theres no point telling her. And the divorce stuff? She'll internalise it. One of her children is dead, one is an ongoing psychiatric case with not much of a future because he's also actually a pretty terrible person, and the last one is me. She feels bad enough because her "marriage failed," which is a weird phrase her generation seem to use. She told me before not to date other people in case it hurts my "marriage." She'll think it's that, and start spiralling about her history with my dad and the one guy she's dated since they divorced. She won't believe me and hb were fine having other relationships and the issues arent to do with that, and I dont have the energy to talk through her stuff again.

Maybe it's getting to me more than I think. It's not like I didnt know this shitstorm was coming. But now it advances. Like I heard the forecast before, but now I can see it on the horizon. Now I have to really truly consider moving out of the house and splitting up the cats and whatever else. Thinking about it, maybe i should talk to my mum. Itll almost definitely be her I move in with if it all goes through. But then maybe I should only talk about it if I'm sure.

I dont know. I'm jealous of everyone with good parental relationships. I still havent even texted my dad for his birthday. I guess I should do that. I kind of miss when all 4 of us go back to my dad's house for drinks, us and my half brother. But that's not going to happen for a long time yet, for all kinds of reasons. Maybe it never will again. I'm catastrophising I guess. But it's hard not to with the current track record. I just feel like there isnt any evidence of positive things. Really, truly. The best thing that's happened to me recently is I sent the rented carpet cleaner off and then saw that my cat did a big healthy shit in the middle of the carpet. I have to be happy about that because it means hes not losing his guts to diarrhea and vomiting like he was before. But I still have to deal with a hygienic nightmare and probably a stressed cat picking up on my mental state. And I still have to gauge the whole situation based on a literal pile of shit.

I feel like thinking positive is just kidding myself and giving into my genetic tendency towards psychosis. If I'm going to convince myself of something that isnt real in order to make myself feel better, why not lose myself in a fantasy entirely? I should just build an entire world where everything is okay and lock myself away in it. Why stop at just telling myself that this one bad thing or another won't happen.

I try my best to stay grounded in reality to avoid ending up in that kind of mental state. But reality is fucking tiring. I know my life isnt the worst in the world by far, I dont mean that. But we're all going through some extra shit these past couple of years. I struggle not to take that on too. Not that it even helps. We had a mass shooting here today and I'm thinking about the people who thought they were safe because they live in England where firearms are extremely rare, the parents of the child who died, the people living in that area who will feel so unsafe now, and all the pro-gun lobbyists in the US who will use this as a reasoning that gun control doesn't work thus keeping millions of other people at risk as long as those laws dont change. But god. I would be dead many times over if guns were as easy to buy here as they are over there.

And then I think about all the people that have been lost to situations like that. I'm multiracial and have family in multiple different places - I was always raised with the idea that you dont stop caring about people just because they're not in the same country as you. And it's true, you shouldnt. But I've internalised a lot of it as fear and sorrow and idk what else. Just bad feelings. Feeling like the world is such a terrible place, that I cant deal with my own suffering, and that if I can't deal with that then what about the people who have it worse? What can I do??

What can I do for anyone when I cant even paint a single set of nails?

I'm sure of all kinds of bad things happening. I dont want to be. Some of them I couldnt prove, so maybe it's just my mind. Many look likely. I dont know how to deal. I am all the worst parts of each of my parents and this is the result. I wish therapy was more of a thing last century. They should never have had kids. My older brother got off easy by dying. Incidentally I have to somehow gather money for his gravestone soon as nobody else in my family ever offered to help my parents with it in all this time and it's only just been put up now when I said I'd help my mum with it. I never even fucking met him. My life is like a bad tv show. Not an interesting one, not a well written drama or tragedy, just bad.

[a-deadly-serenade]

i am CONVINCED that the writers and staff of robin hood thought that they’d be green-lit for a fourth season which is why there’s such a huge dissonance b/w the first and last last half of s3. 

i think it really becomes prominent at the end of s3ep7, after robin and isabella escape the well and robin urges that they need to rescue kate before they leave. the sudden shift in isabella’s character is so sudden and i havent stopped thinking about it since i rewatched the whole season. it’s so... out of place? we spend two episodes dedicated to developing her as an almost antithesis to her brother, almost akin to the chivalry of marian with how she uses her wits to seduce the men in power in order to further her own goals. but then this all gets thrown out the window for... no reason?? i think this is when bbc was like, “hey look this show isn’t getting as many viewers as it once did so we can’t justify how expensive it is to produce so we’re going to be cutting it off our schedule to make room for other shows we want to make” and then made isabella go a-wall and shoddily throw together a story to make HER the villain, along with all the other cazy shit they add.

it’s like... ah yes, this woman who was sold into an abusive marriage in her tender teens, who was shown to still be relentlessly belittled and abused, is definitely who you want to make the villain guys :) they make her turn against robin and for what?? because he wants to save kate?? a member of his GANG?? 

like she gets so UNCHARACTERISTICALLY upset when he confesses he can’t envision the future she described realistically happening because of who he is and the kind of life she lives. if the writers had been smart and handled this with actual finesse, Robin could have easily realized that the two of them were so drawn to each other based on the current circumstances. he fell in love with her charisma, her cunning tactics, her sense of independence and constant defiance towards those around her that reminded him so much of Marian. and i’m sure Isabella was drawn to Robin for his kindness, his own charm, how he fights so valiantly to ensure the safety and prosperity of those we often forget about, maybe even silently wishing that she had met someone like him during her many years as Thornton’s wife. they’ve both suffered betrayal and heartache, so, yeah, it doesn’t surprise me that they hit it off so quickly. but for some reason they want to keep peddling the terrible sub-plot of kate and robin becoming an item, which i could write a WHOLE other post about, so i guess the best option is??? this??? 

make her defy the prince!! with Guy basically placing a death sentence on himself by attacking John in the dungeons, she has no one to rely on anymore!! he was the one that provided her protection but now that’s gone. it’s so DUMB that they made her immediately cling to John, when one of the themes they constantly hammer in, esp in s3ep9, is that she HATES men!! hates them!! they’re liars!! manipulators!! she knows the prince is crazy, why would she ally with him?? AGH 

here, sweetie, i know writing is hard but let me help you out: 

picture the three of them, Robin, Isabella, and Kate escaping Nottingham and they decide that it is no longer safer for Isabella so Robin will hook her up with some money, supplies and send her off to some acquaintances in a far off county. she can start anew, find her place in the world and live her life without having to be tied down. Lord Sheridan could stick around as the actual sheriff and that would make more sense to the eventual tie-in of Vasey showing up for the finale. in fact, that would be even MORE reason for Vasey to want Nottingham back, there’s someone in his seat!! Blamire man could turn on Sheridan, paralleling the loyalty Vasey wished Guy kept for him till the end. 

have ‘a dangerous deal’ take place earlier, giving more time for Guy to develop his relationship with the outlaws and come to terms with more of the things he’s buried inside himself for so long. when it comes time for Robin and Guy to look for Archer (yes u can keep your dumb plot-twist bbc) Isabella could have found herself in York, maybe she works at the bar they go to?? mayyybe she knows who Archer is and is shocked when these two dummies show up and say that it’s their half-brother. ONE of the strongest themes in the show is found family!!!! these two families, who have suffered so much tragedy, can finally become one again and work together to ensure the prosperity of england. Like… was that really so hard?

s3 has just so much wasted potential but Isabella really got the brunt of the stick on this one. she was so engaging and fun in the first two episodes she’s in but really becomes unbearable the further along she’s in the series. like there’s nooo wayy y’all spend sooo much time trying to shove this love triangle of isabella/robin/kate down our throats only to throw it away because ‘ooooh she’s craaazyy see?’ lazy!!! LAZY and i HATE IT!!! isabella deserved soo much better 

[ultimatenomi]

I was tagged by @oneandonly-rebelchild​ :)

Relationships: I met a guy my first week at uni- and we were dating by the end of the 2nd week- stayed together just over a year, some stuff happened i wont get into right now but i haven’t been in a relationship since and we broke up Nov ‘11 so......

Break-ups: oh yeah- that. dude picked an evening i was stressed out about school work and already in tears trying to get my essays submitted by my deadline 45 min away and he turns to me like ‘are we even dating anymore?’

like, no- but i have to share a bed with you cuz i have nowhere else to go. thanks.

Kids: dont have any- dont see myself having any bio-kids because the idea of being pregnant is terrifying to me, and i know how many kids out there need homes and i grew up fostering- so if i ever have any it’ll be adopted :)

Pets: i dont currently have any- but grew up had a hamster named fluffy, we had black and white rats called sausage and chip, we had tiny turtles/tortoises when we lived abroad (i was little), we had a few dogs that unfortunately werent a great fit with our family who were rehomed with better suiting environments (hector needed more space, went to live on a local farm, harry needed to not be around our cats) we had 2 felix cats; george and pippa, a black cat named kitty- and my mum still has Marigold (super fluff)

Surgeries: none *knock wood*

Tattoos: none so far

Countries I’ve been to: Hong Kong, China, England, Scotland, Belgium, France, Japan, USA, Canada- and technically Amsterdam because one year when i was around 8 me and my big bro were ‘unaccompanied minors’ and our first flight was late and we missed the connecting flight and put us up in a hotel room overnight. an 8 year old and an 11 year old. nightmare. and ive had layovers in a few countries but they dont count cuz never left the airport

Been in an airplane: so many- prob an average of 2 flights per year of my life? idk i havent done the math

Sang karaoke: in a group and by myself most days :P

Ice skating: i had lessons in a mall in hong kong back in the 90s- then as a teenager i took up hockey for a while

Been on a cruise: nope- tbh the idea of it kinda scares me more than flying

Rode a motorbike: nope- but i really wanted to as a teenager- i did a bunch of research but ultimately i couldn’t afford to

Ridden a horse: yup! but it’s been a long time since i was last on one

Stayed in a hospital: unfortunately- once when i was a tiny in hong kong- i’m told it was very dramatic and touch and go- but i have no memory of it-  beware of mould spores and little lungs. and once when i was studying in new york- the most expensive night of my life (that luckily for me my much wealthier relatives took care of)

Favorite fruit or berry: i love strawberries- like with froyo, dipped in chocolate, in eton mess, on a cheesecake 

Favorite color: changes daily- i couldnt tell ya

Last text: was to a mate of mine laughing about Link seemingly installing some sort of pulley system to transport rhett’s shirts into his closet

Coffee or tea: i... only drink like... arnold palmers/very sweet lemon tea 🙈

Favorite pie: Apple :)

Favorite pizza: i do a bbq chicken pizza from dominos but sub out the peppers for ground beef- and then i dunk it in garlic herb dip. but i’m sure if i lived somewhere with better options i wouldnt have dominos as my go to. I did love giordano’s deep dish- just the individual cheese- or just with ground beef and cheese- one of those individual pizzas fed me for a week back in college :’)

Cat or dog:

Favorite time of the year: prob fall/winter- its cool enough to wear sweaters, and not overheat when i pile under like 5 blankets- and i get to wear lots of flannel/boots- i can start to wear my beanie again- i just like being cozy :P also its my birthday a few days before halloween- and then theres a bunch of food based holidays- its just kinda nice

Met a star: a few :’) i dont wanna list them and sound like a jackass tho

Flown a helicopter: nope- and i got no desire to

Been on TV: yup :)

Broken a leg: not yet *knock wood*

Seen a ghost: not that i know of- if i have they were super chill and looked like a regular person

Been sick in a taxi: i dont think so

Seen someone die: no

if you wanna do it and tag me feel free- i’m too tired to think right now 🙈