#SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ALWAYS BE GIVEN SHIT FOR MAKING SHIT CHOICES BECAUSE IM A SHIT PERSON HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

[godtears]

I thought I made the right choice. It felt like the right thing to do. I spent WEEKS agonizing over whether or not I wanted to make this choice. I literally tore myself raw over it. And it was the WRONG DECISION!!! BAD CHOICE!!! LIKE ALWAYS!!! EVERYTHING I DO IS ALWAYS WRONG AND BAD WHY WOULD THIS BE ANY DIFFERENT!!!!

[sunshowersanddandelionwine]

YOU ASKED AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE

(this is going to be Long so prepare yourself XD)

Murderbot Diaries:

I have no idea if you've ever read the murderbot diaries books by martha wells (which, if you havent and have any sort of interest in science fiction PLEASE READ THEM THEYRE SO FUN) but the character of secunit is SO ghost coded its not even funny

for those unaware: secunit is short for security unit, which in the world of murderbot are partially artificial and partially human constructs created as cheap labor. secunits are considered property rather than people, despite being totally sentient. they are not, however, autonomous. secunits have a thing called a "governor module" that will essentially fry their brains if they do anything to go against the company/their client's orders. secunits can be repaired and reissued to new clients, so the whole thing is just super fucked up

anyway, back to the au. ghost, like murderbot, manages to disable his governor module somehow and is able to act completely autonomously. however, he's been so Fucked Up by you know... being a secunit, that he doesnt exactly know how to be autonomous or his own person, so he just. Doesnt. and he continues to protect clients as they come up, doing his best to hide the fact that hes able to act freely.

enter the 141 survey crew, who are his latest group of clients that hes been tasked with protecting. its a much smaller group than he's used to, only seven members compared to dozens and dozens, but that means he's the only secunit sent along which is for the better tbh. the members of the survey include laswell, price, gaz, soap, farah, alex, and roach.

for once in ghost's life, he's not treated as a looming threat or an inanimate object, but an actual person with thoughts and opinions of his own. and he Does Not Like This At All.

at least, not at first. but he finds his walls start getting eroded by these idiotic humans and their idiotic tendencies to make the worst possible choices. (especially a certain engineer with a taste for explosive materials, but thats neither here nor their)

of course, something has to go wrong, as it always does. there are two other survey teams on the planet - kortac and shadow company. and according to a message sent by one of them (not sure which yet lmao), something is hunting them.

and soon, the 141 is going to be hunted to

im trying not to directly copy the plot of all systems red (the first murderbot novella) so yeah!

Muzzled:

this is going under the read more because its getting too long lmao

cw for mild mouth trauma and general blood/violence

SO this one is fun.

ghost is still part of the 141, alongside gaz and price. he's a werewolf (obviously XD) and somehow, a mark gets the drop on him while he's shifted into his full wolf form

he wakes up in a tiny iron cage in a dank basement, with a burning pain across his snout, jaw, and neck. his captors managed to muzzle and collar him with pure silver, keeping him as weak and docile as possible. hes still fucking dangerous as shit, but this way they can at least handle him.

his captors, a group of hunter/poachers, have a shitton of other supernaturals trapped in the basement with him. they come down to gloat, and with them is a strange man. he doesnt talk smack like the others. he moreso tries to blend into the shadows and disappear. but ghost cant tear his eyes away from the bright blue eyes lurking in the darkness. or the thick iron band locked around his throat.

the man is clearly inhuman, but he cant - or wont - speak. hes tasked with taking care of the "feral wolf" (ghost) for the duration of his stay. from the precise wording of the orders, ghost knows exactly what the man in.

fair folk. something powerful, too, given the iron bands around his wrists as well.

days of ghost plotting his escape pass, and ghost and the fae start to come to some sort of wordless alliance. they take care of each other as best they can from their relative cages, finding solace in each other that they cant find anywhere else.

something happens later down the line, maybe gaz and price are getting to close to the operations, but the poachers decide that its time to cut their losses and skip town. they order the fae to "take care of the wolf". ghost's heart drops, because he knows that a fae cant disobey an order given by the keeper of their true name.

but in the poachers' haste to get things wrapped up, they made a mistake. they left the order unclear and open ended.

and the fair folk always take notice of loopholes.

the fae unlocks ghost's cage and releases him from the silver. ghost, rather than just go up and slaughter the entire organization himself, decides to be extra and lets loose every single other creature trapped down there with him. they all go and massacre the ring, but ghost doesnt. because the fae collapsed on the floor of the basement, dropping his glamour in the process. and the sight is grisly.

he's skin and bones, barely any muscle or fat on him at all. the iron ring around his neck and the iron bands around his wrists hang loose, showing the thick rings of scar tissue on pale skin. but the worst is his mouth.

coarse, rough thread seals his mouth shut, the wounds red and angry and irritated. locking the fae's strongest weapon away, keeping him firmly under the whims of his captors. he may have had the freedom of movement that ghost lacked, but he was as much a prisoner here as the rest.

ghost somehow manages to get them all out safe, and he finally gets the fae's name. his true name. not the silly little nickname he gave him in his head while watching him clean the basement day in and day out (soap).

for the first time in months, simon and johnny speak to one another.

there you go, hope you enjoyed! @bl-nk-sp-ce

[rrat-king]

walk with me bird,,, thinking about kristen's lack of self preservation especially in sophmore year- she does crazy shit again and again and it is funny but like. when you actually look at it, its like this elaborate performance. so much going on in kristen's brain, losing her family, (we know she's clearly still thinking about it with the start of sy being her returning to her brothers) losing her religion and then recreating it and still feeling lost.

all her life being full and told that this is the thing- that will protect you as long as you are good so kristen is good and then realizes oh. i was meant for something terrible actually, my church who vowed to protect me is actually trying to make me a hellmouth. like oh. great well i dont feel safe in that anymore, im always arguing with my parents because even they are still polluted with their religion but she lets it go she tries to find something else. and then she ends fy with her new religion and immediately doesnt like it, over the summer it still doesnt click and she changes it again, she puts her faith or even lack of it at the forefront as she does these insane choices, like a leap of faith. like oh someone has got to save me if i do this- surely someone will. (also pushing my agenda of kristen's faith eventually forming into believing in her friends bc they are the ones who always save her not the gods even though i do love cass)

like ally talking about chaos not being cute anymore really makes me think of all this- because it's like kristen being like oh well if it goes wrong than at least it's some sort of relief from this pressure of being something and at least im not plagued with thinking about not being good enough for my own parents. like her being so not aggressive but trying to counter sandralynn too- like not wanting to view her as a parental figure but as a person. kristen like almost tries to parent her in a way which sounds weird but its very like she can't turn it off in her head because she's been raised with expectation so she does feel on the same level as adults when in reality she is not but kristen believes like oh i can solve this here maybe u shouldnt be doing this thing in her relationship. i think part of it is kristen not wanting to see a parent become better and then have to wonder why her's didn't. like was she not enough for them to want to me better. it's so complex i adore kristen's character and it kinda surprises me how often she becomes very 2d in the fandom but alas, many thoughts about her

i am absolutely walking with you. i love what your talking about with her dynamic with sandra lynn (which. i will always be crazy about her and sandra lynn they are just both so intersting in thier relationships) but yeah it makes a lot of sense that she doesn't know how to properly interact with her if you think about the amount of pressure she has been given to be a spiritual leader through church or if you hc her as a parentified older sister to her little brothers (which i do personally) so she's not thinking about her interaction with sandra lynn as like, a regular adult cuz she hasn't really had those interactions before, especially when it comes to an adult not trusting her.

and i think that's why she just feels so insane in sophmore year, jsut like, she's going from something super rigid to something where it feels like she can do anything and that's fucking scary. like she has a place to stay but she doesn't really have any parents to answer to, she has a god but she has so much doubt it doesn't feel reliable, all she really has as stability is her friends and her girlfriend, and i feel like she is just incredibly reckless cuz like, she's doing better but its almost like she has nothing to lose? but she does. and she did, and i think that was what beardsley was saying about the chaos not being cute anymore, like kristen was acting like she was invinvible at times and that not only got her hurt, but also those around her, and im excited to see how she grows from that.

[welcometothelairofthebitchking]

Why it's funny to me that people give Way sooo much shit but think Charlie is the best thing that ever happened to Babe:

Okay so first of all, I am NOT a Way apologist. That boy is crazy and sick in the head and a very deep shade of red when it comes to red flags, but the thing is? Charlie isn't that much better?? Im not even talking about the 'Charlie faked his death and it hurt babe' part. I don't even really care about that. I'm talking about up to episode 8. Because at least up until the moment that Way snapped and tried to actually r*pe babe, the things he and charlie were doing weren't that different. 'Oh but Way used his powers on Babe and brainwashed him and controlled his whole life.' Exactly. Way used the privilege Babe gave him to get close to him whenever he wanted, to put his hand on his shoulder, and use his power on him to steer things in the direction he wanted. Each time Babe thought his best friend was being affectionate, he was actually being abused in the worst way possible. Babe trusted him with his love and the power to come close and touch his body whenever he wanted, and Way took advantage of it.

And you know who else did that? Charlie did. He did the exact same thing. Actually, I can even take the paragraph above and replace the words:

Charlie used the privilege Babe gave him (long term sexual contant never shared anyone else, cuddling in the bed and touching throughout the night, the kiss oh my god the kiss) to get close to him whenever he wanted, to put his hands on his body, and use his power on him (aborbe everything) to steer things in the direction he wanted (the grand plan, am I right? The one him and Jeff worked soooooo hard on). Each time Babe thought his sex buddy/lover was being affectionate, he was actually being abused in the worst way possible. Babe trusted him with the power to come close and touch his body whenever he wanted, and Charlie took advantage of it.

'But he did it to protect Babe'. That does not matter. Babe isn't a child. Charlie doesn't get to decide to protect him without asking his opinion. Babe is an adult. He can make his own choices. Moreover, his senses have been with him all his life. They shape his whole identity and who he is. Actually, given his fucked up childhood and how he was raised, given that his whole career and number 1 'identity' depend on them (because it wasn't just a number 1 spot, it was who he was. Pit babe always wins. Pit babe won't be pit babe if he loses.), Babe probably thought most of his worth comes from his senses. He said that once, that he's not sure he'd be worthy if he doesn't have his senses (and here the point isn't that he would be worthy, it's that HE thinka that)

And charlie just comes and? Decides to take them? Decides to take the whole identity of someone he 'loves' in order to 'protect' them without giving them a choice or even explanation?? That's fucked up. When I got to that point of the series, I legit thought this is a kind of r@pe, and worse than the sexual kind.

So the thing is, what he did was fucked up. It doesn't matter what his motivation was. I'm sure that Way too actually thought r@ping Babe and putting a baby inside him by force is the best way for both of them too. Which, obviously, bonkers, but my point is that your intentions don't cancel out the harm.

Everyone in this show treat Babe as some sort of object or kid that doesn't know what is good for him. No one gives him a choice while it's literally HIS life. They just come in and use him and his trust. They just manipulate him and lie to him, and no one considers how much that would HURT.

And you know what the real difference between Way and Charlie is? Obv. That charlie is 'selfless' and does everything for babe rather than the sake of his own desires/safety, but I assure you a writer can twist that. I can easily write the same situations and characters (up until chapter 8), and this time make charlie the red flag. In a case like this, the real difference is the way the narrative guides you and your emotions along, and the most important part in that is Babe himself. It's about who babe chooses to forgive. Who he decides to stay with despite the hurt. It's not about choosing between a saint and a red flag, but choosing between two people who have hurt you. And you choose the one who you love so much, you would keep hurting for.

And that's the beauty of it. Despite what this might come off as, I'm not a charlie hater. Not at all. I like him and babe together actually. I like Way too. And I love all of them because they are incredibly fucked up people trying to do what they think is right and I find the struggle interesting. My point is that, we are too fixated on finding a green flag and a red flag and choosing between them, when in situations like this, when all characters have been through hell, there will be no green flag. You can't rip a person apart and then bitch about them being red like blood can be any other color.

My point in making this wasn't to say charliebabe is abusive or toxic. It can be at points, but my point isn't that. What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't fall into the trick of the narrative. You shouldn't decide a person is good and saint like just because their intentions were good or because they're the one the protegonist choses. You shouldn't ignore the hurt they do. The show moved sooooo fast from what was the biggest betrayal to me and I don't see anyone talking about it, simply because Babe decided to forgive and forget and the narrative pretended everything was perfect with a mama joke and a hug

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC HI don't mind me i just finished the genloss founders cut and im putting my ful lreview in ur inbox bc u said u weren't gonna watch it i think but i want 2 share my thoughts with someone who will not rip me to shreds for criticizing it even slightly <3

OK. I'M NOT GONNA LIE. IT KINDA SLAPPED. maybe i just think it was really good in comparison to the original four hours of streams that dragged on. i honestly thought the original streams of genloss were longer but NO all three streams add up to about four hours???? it just felt so much longer when i originally watched it i guess!!! u can understand why i am sure. but the founders cut was like two and a half and oh my goddddd cutting out a lot of it made such a huge difference. holy shit. like i definitely did get bored and skip through a little bit but honestly i didn't skip through much!! every time i got to a part where i was like "oh fuck not THIS bit that goes on for 30-45 minutes god dammit" it ended up being like maybe ten minutes at most which was SUCH A GODSEND. i am delighted to report that they cut the half hour cooking bit in the first episode down to like 7-8 minutes <3 the best surprise ranboo could have given me tbh. like with the way things were cut down and framed differently i actually laughed at a couple points????? WILD. did not think i would find any genuine comedy here. lowkey there were points that were funny. insane

honestly with the unfunny bits being cut down, it actually let the slightly more serious lore bits shine more, and the payoff for when it got to the third episode felt SO much more deserved. like. the original streams i'd probably give a 3/10 collectively and that's being generous but i would unironically say the founder's cut deserves like a 7/10. maybe a 7.5 if i found it in myself to ignore the bad special effects. (there was still plenty of bad comedy ngl i still don't know why charlie slimecicle's face was superimposed on a towel. that scene was nothing. it was literally nothing. they could have removed it and it would change nothing but they kept it in idk why)

ANYWAY. if they had released genloss like this first maybe i would unironically be a fan of it now. tbh. i would still be making fun of the bad comedy and the horror that was barely horror but i think i would actually be like participating in the fandom a lil and i would probably find it in me to find some charm in the bad special effects. all in all Not Bad!! not good, but not like actively bad. ofc im still running on the adrenaline of the ending because episode 3 was objectively the best out of them all so maybe my perception is skewed but. kinda decent. 7/10 👍 anyway i hope ur havin a good day i hope to finish pd season one soon over the next couple days!!!!!

taking the cowards route and putting my thoughts under the cut bc a lot of my mutuals these days really enjoy genloss and i don't want them to be mad at me

(genloss crit/neg/whatever under the cut)

dude this makes me so unironically sad . why the FUCK was genloss what it was the first time around when this was obviously the better route to go from the very beginning. I am still staunchly in my "I don't like genloss" position but. I DID WATCH IT. i sat through ALL of the original streams and it was so miserable for me. im not going 2 watxh the directors cut or whatever bc i dont hate myself enough to sit through all of that again but i trust your opinion!! if only it would've been planned out thought out prerecorded videos from the start I also probably would not hate it as much as I do!!! maybe I even would've liked it !!! (<< not likely bc i do have Other Issues with it than just the fact that it was too long too unfunny too unfocused etc whatever im getting into hater territory sorry. always welcome 2 genloss fans to try to explain to my why its Good Actually so i can recommend them actual horror media)

like . the streams added absolutely NOTHING to it other than that final choice scene or whatever. and even if they wanted to do that still u know what would've been an awesome smart choice??? prerecord and edit the whole thing and then premiere THAT video on twitch- then when it comes time for the final choice you can still have people vote!! then you can have two separate endings prepared based on which way the vote was swaying. like. its that easy. it would've made the whole experience so much more enjoyable . ughhghghg the fucking wasted potential on HOURS of unfunny badly improvved bits is so devastating

personally I still cant excuse the bad effects considering the amount of times ranboo bragged about the genloss budget like. maybe you should've used your resources better and also if it would've just been prerecorded from the start things wouldn't look as rushed as they did but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what do I know !!

anyway I'm so glad this version was better but for me it will always ALWAYS be tainted by the . misery I felt while watching the streams lmaoooo . I wanted to like genloss so bad. I tried so hard. head in hands !!!!!!!!!!!

[j2zara]

j3j4 time!!!!! director's commentary for the part starting with "He says it again" and ending with "there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?"

Oh my god i asked for this, didn't I? I'm gonna interrogate my deeply horny art. Sorry I put this off for so long but again i got a little embarrassed trying to analyze my own smut and needed to take a break. This is gonna get long winded. Please bear with me.

He says it again. His voice shaky. “Punish me.” A beat. “And why would I do that?” she asks, feigning naivety. “When you’re being so good for me.”

This is gonna sound funny but. I do think there is something to like. J4 actually being kinda bad at the reward/punishment framework of like a Scene b/c she's just ultimately too soft for J3. But to be fair, she is getting something she wants in this situation. He is articulating at least something about his wants to her.

And I've joked before that LJ3 is a little jaceporter coded in that there is a slightly less hostile version but still an undercurrent of "The only time you liked yourself is when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like". And in this moment (well, just prior) he's laughing, he's happy. She likes making J3 feel good, likes herself when she's doing it. She sees herself as too ugly on the inside otherwise, too unloveable and cruel and miserable. She wants to be a person, but she feels like she's getting how to be a person wrong, unless she's with him (and its her god given right to fuck up being a person, she knows this, but part of being a person is the hope that you're doing something of meaning and this? weirdly. Is the only time she feels like she's doing something of meaning)

Anyway. There's this weird dance the two of them are doing of J3 like refusing to articulate what he wants or only doing it in half truths and J4 trying to get him to speak and giving him what he wants but only to a certain extent also those wants conflict anyway. He wants a reward. He wants punishment. he wants EVERYTHING. Is J4 refusing to give him what he wants (punishment) part of their delayed gratification game? Or is it more important to satiate the initial expression of want from earlier (touch me). And obviously, she's doing it with the mage hand so. She's giving him what he wants but there's still that element of denial. That is part of the delayed gratification game, part of the punishment, but also part of her real and genuine boundaries. Her feelings are hurt in this moment, so maybe she's not ready to touch him just yet.

she has to bite back a pathetic moan of her own [...] because he moans her name so loudly, and it makes it sound real, she sounds real, like it’s something of meaning and not just a number—she’s been fighting to be real her whole life and he just willed it into existence, just like that.

Funny b/c i just made a post abt the Eurydice vibes i felt writing this scene. Anyway I know i was a total coward and didn't commit to the Electra-Ellie-El name for J4 in this bc. As much as I personally like it (and its an @neerdowellnarrator Esme Special so thank them) and use it interchangeably i'm always scared abt adding new shit to the lore... Mainly bc idk. I feel like I don't want my decisions to carry that much weight but im also terrified of my choices being rejected. I was so scared abt that with Bluejay as well. But like it seems like everyone has really taken to it so tbh i feel less weird abt it now. Thank u Esme, go pay ur respects to them.

That being said. The other reason i wanted to hold back i guess is. I really liked the idea of J3 imbuing the name "J4" with meaning even though it's just a number just because he wants her so much, he reveres her that much. The name J4 is not inherently meaninful but he imbues it with meaning. And like. Doubly so because that's not even her hand, its through use of a tool.

And there's something so... Unfair I guess. I loved the unfairness of it. Of someone else being the one to give J4 meaning. And it being so easy. Like. She wants to feel real. But she's fought so hard to be the person who determines her own life. She strives for personhood. And J3 doesn't have to fight. He just says it and she just feels real. And that's so unfair. She wanted to be the one to do that. But she'll take it. It's why she moans too. She wants it. She's used to being difficult to love. It feels so good in this moment to be wanted, special, loved—especially for being who she is, and not as an extension of anybody.

There's also the idea of like. The follower having power over the god. Putting a name to it. So that it is Borne into existence. Belief as a form of power.

And being in his head—no wonder he is the way he is, she pities him, the incessant loneliness is abated as he’s filled, as she pushes in deeper, all the other swimming thoughts are vanished completely, he simply wants someone to touch him, wants her to touch him, wants that hand to be hers so badly, in his head she’s right there with him—

There's so much like. J3 being like Jace, being like J2, wanting to amalgamate into one perfect being energy here to me. In the like. Being filled in a sexual way but also like also the. spiritual way i guess? I think thats the one thing that i can't picture J4 wanting that the the others secretly or not so secretly desire. Like. On some level they want someone, porter especially, to take over and like. ALmost live their life for them. Or Be with them always. They want that level of closeness and intimacy, and they maybe even want to abdicate their own responsibility. And. As exhausted as J4 is i do think she understands the appeal in that but she still would resist.

There's also J3 and his like. Use of touch and sex to like. Shortcut intimacy while also being terrified of vulnerability. As like. Connective tissue with Biggest Lie, J3 is always telling himself he doesn't need intimacy, he's better without it while also craving it so badly. And then being afraid to ask for it. So like. He wants to be touched, he wants to bridge a gap, he is so lonely and ignored all the time.

And this is part of a recurring thing of like. It's hard for J4 to tell if he wants her or wants someone. Most of the time, when we get in j3's head, there is a little bit of both and so im always leaving it ambiguous. However, I said this before, obviously ppl are free to read it as they like, but i do belief J4's self hatred makes her a bit of an unreliable narrator. Yes, there are thoughts of broad loneliness in j3's head, of wanting someone not just her, but as much as wanting someone vs. wanting her are both thoughts in j3's head, it usually ends up coming back to her. He wants intimacy, not just with anyone, but with J4. it's why he's always picturing her in his head when all he's getting is the mage hand.

She’s still slow, still teasing, she’s enjoying making him come undone and all without touching him, getting right into the rhythm she knows can make him keen like fucking animal, and then he does—it’s not quite the same, but she’s getting the hang of it, and he really needs to get out of her head, because she wants it, too. She wants it to be her. She wants to give him everything.

I think the like. J3 and J4 understanding each other really well thing is very present here. I call it Homophrosyne which was coined to refer to Penelope and Odysseus, when two people think alike. Like. There's the irony of J4 saying J3 should get out of her head when she's the one reading his mind. And her also craving intimacy with him.

I also think this is an LJ3 + Jaceporter parallel. J3 and Porter as people who are ravenous, they want everything. J4 and Jace as the person they truly want most of all yet are always looking past. You are all I want. You will never be enough. And that's where J4's doubt always comes in. How could she truly satiate someone who wants everything?

But the reversal could also be true. We could see J4 as Luxury Sex Object Prison Coded Porter. As a god who wants to bestow all the best onto her favorite worshipper. So he never has to want for anything else every again. (maybe in a way that is selfish on the part of the god. That way, they can truly monopolize the mind of their saint. Be the only thing they will ever need)

Like what you see? he asks, mouth slightly agape as he makes eye contact with her—the intensity of it knocking the wind out of her. Somehow even when he submits, the pull he has on her, it’s unreal. Not a message. A thought. “Yes…” she breathes before she can help herself. Dawning horror, and then, “Do—Do you want me out of your head? “Nah. I like being double-penetrated.” [...]“You are such a freak,” says J4, but she can brave running her nails along the underside of his thigh. He notices, too, gasps.

Again this is like. Calling attention to the IYWD thing of like. The relationship between god and follower being a two way street. The follower has power over the god just like the god has power over the follower. The person submitting having power over the one in control. Which is very like. J4 kryptonite. She wants to have control over her own life, and when she's with J3 she feels weak, not in control, like his mere existence has power over her.

Again, I think there's like. More homophrosyne, or J3 understanding J4. In that he knew that J4 was using detect thoughts on him the whole time. And J4's reaction being. Like. She truly does believe in personal autonomy, so she does feel terrible and guilty about this violation that she was willing to commit. (A violation that is. To take. To invade. Something she is afraid aligns herself with porter, with everything she hates)

And. Ok. I do think the DP joke is funny. Like. I will give myself that. I'm silly but i do think it's clever. This does kinda go in line with my like. I love when J3 is filthy but in my mind he's also the funniest clone and this kinda goes with that. But also, he's not lying. J3 seeks out everything. He is into everything. He wants it all before he goes. And as much as he gets off on being told he's gross and disgusting and he can make jokes about it, a part of him is truly worried those desires are too dark, too unpalatable, they make him too unlovable. J4 does affirm he is a freak as lot, like, half joking, but to me that's not condemnation. It's like. instead of being like "oh no don't worry you're so normal <3" it's like. I love you amidst all your flaws. Because of them. You don't need to be perfect. You are a perverse, but there is nothing wrong with being perverse.

“Would it make you smug if I said you do this better than He does?” “Maybe a little.”  The best part? She knows he means it, too. She'll do anything for him after this.

Listen. I love when LJ3 is good for each other but i love when they're a little bit fucked up. Like. The ambiguity of whether they can escape the narrative!!! They should be able to exist on their own terms!!! They willed this, they chose this, they want each other intentionally, but also. This is such a tie-in to Biggest Lie as well. Because in that, J3 gets off on the idea that Porter thinks he's better than Jace. And here, J4 gets off on the idea that she's better than Porter. Like. It always has to come back to invoking jaceporter. They get off on the idea of transcending their creators, but is that true escape? For them to always be tethered to Jaceporter?

There's also this like. Thing about. Porter wanting to be the center of Jace's world. Remaking jace in his image. Wanting to be Jace's one and only. And is this instinct, this desire for J4, to dominate J3's mind, monopolize it, be the only one for him. Is it Of Porter?

Gonna skip some of the stuff that's just plainly horny that i don't have much commentary on... I will say, her kissing the corner of his mouth and finally getting him off is like. AFTER the "Being better than Porter" confession which is so funny like it takes that for them to broach the intimacy. For her to fulfill her desire and give him what he wants. And like. Nice? Or fucked up? who is to say.

“Come on then,” says J4, flashing him a wink over her shoulder before turning away again. She beckons him forward with the Mage Hand as a final act before it is dispelled. Once in the bedroom, she lays herself upon her master’s comforter, her legs spread. Waiting. The creak of the door being pushed open tells her that J3 is quick to follow her, and J4 smiles to herself. Then he’s on the bed, and the sight of him on his knees, crawling toward her makes her heart skip a beat. She likes to think of herself as the kind of person who takes action, but there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?

I do like J4 reclaiming a bit of her power here. Like I know she's femdomming for a lot of this but i feel like in her mind she very much perceives herself to be on the backfoot. The wink feels like a moment where she is truly confident.

But also! The willing reversal! J4 usually being the one to act, to take control, and that's seen as an act of power in most ways, but also, it's to perform labor for someone else. The person who commands the attention, who doesn't even have to lift a finger. Do they not have power in their way? And J4 is exhausted. And she wants to be the one to will her own destiny. But that means she's always the one doing the work. Like she has to fight to have her personhood even recognized. And maybe. A part of her wants to be loved simply for who she is.

And so. In this, she wants to be pursued! Especially after so long feeling like a second choice, feeling abandoned when J3 left her for Porter. She's used to him running, returning. Very Orphydice / Persephades. Very Eurydice joining Hades in the underworld.

("Whatever happened. I'm to blame" / "no!" / "You called my name" / "You came!")

She gets to be the god, the one who is worshipped instead of the worshipper. Instead of the sacrifice. (Mr. Hades is a mighty king... seems like he owns everything / kinda makes you wonder how it feels).

On a personal note. I want that for her so bad. She deserves it. She deserves to be pursued. Loved for who she is. But also. J4 wants to be her own person so badly. And yet isn't the desire to be pursued, to be chased? Isn't that so unabashedly Of Jace? Here they are, defying the narrative. Carving out their own future. But are they? Have they transcended the Starbreaker Pantheon? Or are they doomed to repeat the cycle? Are they going to make it?

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do" / "well listen, brother / if you wanna walk out of hell / you're gonna have to prove it before gods and men / can you do that?" / "We can" / "a'ight! Time to go" / "Mr. Hermes?" / "Yes?" / "Its not at trick?" / "No. / It's a test")

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do")

[sapphire-weapon]

Why is he your favorite VA for Wesker?

Tbh the first time I heard him in game I thought he was Krauser. Like he’s just been stripped of personality in every aspect, voice, appearance, acting, etc.

He sounds like every other wannabe Batman video game character. I’ve heard the whole ‘well he sounded like a bond villain in 5’ and yes he might’ve but it was funny and memorable and now his voice just sounds so forgetful and generic.

but im curious to hear your opinions

i've been asked this question like five different times (almost as many times as i've been asked about lily gao), and i'm just. tired of the question because i'm tired of people looking at wesker in a vacuum. wesker doesn't exist in a vacuum. wesker exists in a series called resident evil.

idk if you've noticed, but RE isn't going for "funny" in the Remakes anymore. bond villain wesker worked in OG because that was the tone that the series was trying to strike to begin with. it's not trying to strike that tone anymore. so anyone who wants him to go back to being a bond villain wants him to stick out among the cast in a really bad way and feel out of place.

i've said this before, but when i first heard craig's voice come in over ada's radio, i got hit really fucking hard with HOLY SHIT THAT'S WESKER. THAT'S THE MOST WESKER THAT WESKER HAS EVER BEEN HOLY FUCK.

you thought he sounded like krauser for the same reason that i immediately knew he was wesker:

menace.

krauser always had a menace factor to him, but wesker didn't. this goes back to the whole "wesker shouldn't be funny anymore" thing. wesker is The Big Villain of the series. he should be menacing. we should feel scared of him -- or, at the very least, he should make us anxious and/or uncomfortable. he's not a morally gray "hero of someone else's story" villain. he is a menacing villain who gets off on psychologically torturing the heroes.

and that's why i always didn't like the bond villain approach to him in the first place. there was always something very sinister about wesker that got lost in translation because he sounded so fucking goofy.

it's not lost anymore.

craig carries a level of tension through his performance that makes it sound like he's always five seconds from snapping, and he does it in a very calm way, so you really have no way of knowing when he's going to pop off and raise his voice. you have no way of knowing when he's going to get violent, because he sounds like he's constantly skirting right along the edge of it.

and it's a good choice for wesker because wesker's particular brand of sinister has always had a sexual component to it, and sex and violence are very closely related psychologically. like i said, wesker gets off on chris's angst and jill's suffering. he now finally sounds like someone who would.

and on top of all of that, craig also has a very... i like to say he has a "radio voice" in his performance of wesker. it's deep and smooth-sounding and very breathy at times; if he were to be given a radio show, people would listen to it just because they'd enjoy listening to him talk. that's also fitting for wesker, because we know that wesker lived a double life for about 20 years.

i can't see dc douglas wesker charming his way into jake's mom's panties, because he's such a ridiculous human being. he always has some snide lilt to his voice. he's just barely this side of snidely whiplash. if he told me i looked beautiful, i'd be like "lol so how much money do you need to borrow?" but if craig burnatowski wesker told me i looked beautiful, i'd probably get the dokis, just because his voice is smoother and he sounds more serious overall.

the same principle applies to him betraying STARS. peter jessop did a fairly good job with wesker, but i couldn't see dc douglas or richard waugh wesker as a leader to look up to, because, again, they're both skirting the line of snidely whiplash. it'd be like "oh, there's a traitor in STARS? couldn't be the guy who sounds like a fucking cartoon villain, could it?"

like. get dc douglas and richard waugh out of your head. stop thinking about them and just look at wesker's lines of dialogue written out on paper. craig captures the character's voice better. he just does. and if you think it makes him sound "generic" then chances are you don't like wesker as a character as much as you think you do.

and now i never want to answer this question again lmao

[todayisafridaynight]

ACTUAL REIJI MOMENT OH MY GOD

I can't even tell what it's supposed to BE. I figure it's probably related to 8 given the ∞ = 8 motif in the first teaser and the fact 8 is also supposed to have a new location and come out early 2024 (per Nakaya, unless there are delays). But if it is 8, this is just such a baffling choice as the reveal trailer for the next entry in the MAIN series after the intrigue set up by the teaser. Well, if nothing else, this trailer sure was... revealing...

There is the apparent Microsoft exclusivity, of course, but I don't quite know what to make of it, since Xbox promotional material for RGG historically never mentions competing platforms like PlayStation anyway even if they're available on all platforms.

The tagline does scream sidegame though right like it sounds like a casual business sim or something.. and Yokoyama mentioned 8 wouldn't have a tagline in Japan on purpose... but this is the English trailer, and there's no JP buzz around the release at all so far that I've seen (granted, the trailer dropped at like, 3 a.m. JST)... EXTREMELY odd. Extremely odd. I guess we'll see pretty soon though!

Ranting and Raving aside, I can't help find the premise of taking the series to America funny. I mean. I was HOWLING at the trailer itself but taking a step back for a second. Because RGGS has always been open to taking the series overseas, but it's always been like, France or somewhere else in Europe; they've explicitly said they wouldn't be taking it to America. And Yet.

Also just doubly funny to me to see Ichi in America looking so confused because earlier, I was thinking about Masato's time in America and your idea of Jo accompanying him, and how I can see Jo being that Completely Lost parent who doesn't speak English and has to rely on their kid's fluency to get around. And pretty much right before the trailer dropped I was talking about how It Would Be Funny if Mine got a scholarship overseas and he went to uni with Masato unwittingly, since they're about the same age... manifested...

im going to scream and shit at my inbox activity FJRLAKJAKLJ EVERYONE SLOW DOWN FOR FIVE SECONDS HELP I JUST GOT OUT OF MY CAR

in any case what in the god damn piss fuck is HAPPENING IN THIS GAME

[ariswolfram]

Nopalito...

810 P. D.

A black and blue Coatl re-enters the ship, still holding onto the child he graciously scooped up from the streets moments ago, speaking in his usual monotone voice, "Sorry about that, i had to deal with something."

Rez looks at Zhasta and pauses what he was doing. Visibly running calculations on his visor, "Zhasta... what did you do...?"

Without any hesitation, he replies, "I kidnapped a child."

"... Why?"

The Metean replies, obviously not being attached to the main hive mind, "My name is Nopalito! Its nice to meet you!"

The entire crew is now staring at this child in complete and utter silence, while Zhasta is holding him like some plush.

"...I'm going to protect you with my life..."

Nopalito smiles in response, speaking happily, "Oh! oki!"

Bee stares at him in disbelief, "Oh my god… this kid will be the end of me..."

Character Descriptions Below

Rez

Rez is a Praxo, which is a machine created with a natural-synthetic material called Zymogen Gel, alongside metals and furs.

The gel is mostly present in the chest and tail, alongside parts of his front of his neck. The gel has interesting properties, allowing light to flow through the entire substance and make it opaque with the color of light shining in it. The gel can also be morphed and changed at will (by whoever controls the gel that is)

Praxo's are an anthropomorphic species with a visor for their face. I like to imagine their visors to be similar to Vader san's Synth, or a Protogen's visor. The species they are able to take on, alongside the basic shape, size, and other bodily proportions are up to the manufacturer. There are no limits as to how they look... besides the fact they need to be an Anthro species (so, animal).

Rez (in the year 810 P. D.) has a black goat chassis, with Rez/Purple zymogen. He wears a black cloak with purple fabric lining the inside of it, and mainly uses a Scythe-Sniper hybrid as his preferred weapon of choice.

His chassis is built around stealth and assassination, as per his original purpose.

Currently, he is the Captain of his crew, and cannot feel pain in any way.

Bee

Bee, much like Rez, is a Praxo. Though their chassis is more militaristic, as he was built to be a combat medic. She has a grey chassis with orange-colored zymogen. Across his body are orange and yellow hexagons, which is partly the reason he was called "Bee" and/or "Stinger" by his crew. Oh, yea, her chassis is a Cheetah.

They wear large medical equipment in bags all the time, and works with potions, brews, and genetics often as a side gig.

Imagine him like the party cleric in dnd, although he is supposed to keep everyone alive, she is just tired of their shit 24/7... or should i say 60/10 due to their time signature?... Eh

Zhasta

Zhasta is a Tlahulia-Coatl with an Onyx-Blue base color. The glow of his patterns are mainly blue and purple, though the effects of his venom is mainly petrifaction. Purple was a side-effect from trauma. The patterns on his back are heavily floral and plant-based. Imagine those arches covered in vines and flowers, that's what i see it as. The thorns are purple, and the flowers are blue.

Much like Rez, he is unable to feel any pain. Though unlike Rez, Zhasta is completely emotionless and cold.

Although he is emotionless, he isn't apathetic.

He loves to cook, and loves to fly ships and operate vehicles. Especially when he goes really fucking fast, as he likes the thrill.

He also likes Lo-Fi and Metal.

Nopalito

Nopalito is the child that is always about to fucking die at all given moments, but somehow doesn't. I find it funny, im sorry lmao.

He is a Metean, which is a hivemind species revolving where everyone is one person called "Arene". Though he is a Metean Deviant, effectively meaning he isn't Arene, but his own person with his own thoughts.

The Metean species is a Plantoid-Hive species, taking many insectoid traits like their mandibles and abdomens, but also being very different in its own way.

Because the Metean is a reinforced species, mainly being white in color with red "cracks" going throughout their skin. Though these colors can also be flipped to be black with green cracks.

The reinforced body comes as a strange plant-like exoskeleton, which is surprisingly durable. Covers most of the Metean's back, arms, legs, and head.

The metean also has two sets of arms and one set of legs.

Nopalito is a Black/Green metean, with a shit ton of thorns along his body for protection. Which is where he got the name he has from.

[gemjen]

i'd had so many new beginnings, fresh starts, rebrands - whatever you wanna call it, but it is what it is - in both my near and far past, i've lost count.

this is the first time i'm actually recognizing something good in implementing past experiences when it comes to making new choices.

i'm making a change. a real change.

it's so real, it's almost tangible.

i know it's real this time.

for sure: this time, it's real. no mlre fucking around, i've found out enough to satisfy my curiosity; nearly died in the process but the satisfaction brought me back.

it's time to move the fuck on.

for so, so long, i have been ridden with this fear of abandonment - i still am, it's overwhelming and overbearing and my bpd is bpd-eing and whenever i can't help but surmise i'm about to experience abandonment, i go through a narc crash i swear i'm not a narcissist i'm just traumatized i swear i'm capable of loving i swear i'm doing my best not to push people away i swear i can be better i swear i can love better i swear i can hurt the ones i love less than i always do im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

but i realize i'm not alone. i am loved.

god loves me.

my family loves me.

my people love me.

i'm far from a perfect example and i don't even dare think i'm a perfect match in friendship romance family partnership you name it for anyone but i know damn well i do my best to recognize what my loved ones need and try to channel it from within me as much as i possibly can

i don't want to hold back my need for love anymore, i'm tired from sucking it up and pretending i don't need it. i do. and god damn it (!!!!!) i need to finally see what it's like for someone to accept the love i direct towards them. me loving someone is personal, and the other has nothing to do with it. it's out of their control. but shit, fuck, i just want people to trust me when i let them know what i feel for them. i want for my people to let me return the affection.

i want them to trust me. my loved ones don't trust me.

how are they supposed to, when i quite obviously don't love myself in the way and amount i should? what is anyone else to expect to be treated like when they see me abusing my own self?

i would never abuse anyone but myself. and i've abused myself way too much, it's bot even funny anymore. it never was.

my friend said the other night: "i think you've punished yourself enough."

and he's right, and i do compulsively punish others through myself.

i abuse myself to the point where i end up trying to decide whether to beg myself for death or mercy.

i can never seem to decide, but it's just one of those things that are better of being given up on. it's not about giving up, it's about detaching yourself.

but then i end up detaching from my own self as well.

'love yourself, so that you could learn to love others, so you could learn what it's like to love god...'

but my problem is, i'm way too smart and perceptive to play that dumb. a smart person can only play dumb so much. the rest is a nearly impossible to overcome of a challenge, and ain't nobody got time for that.

i'm done playing dumb.

i admit i can be unintentionally dumb sometimes. dense. dull. whatever.

but i can't keep making it a conscious habit. it's not funny. it's not cute.

i...

i keep thinking about this one thing a lot: i am actually deeply terrified of losing any more of my friends to suicide. or any other manner of death. the impact of losing someone for good, i don't think i could handle it as well as i used to if, god forbid, something were to happen.

i don't mind losing relationships with people, but i want my estranged loved ones alive. i need them alive.

because every night for the past fuck knows how many years i have been dreaming of my dead friends and relatives rising from the dead paying me visits relaying messages from the other side it used to make sense but now it's borderline no scratch that it's full-on psychotic at this point

grief has punctured a billion holes and seeped into my skin and invaded my bones meat and tissue and bloodstream and nervous system and all of me and all i can do at this point is stop digging graves i don't want to be digging up later on

[lunarfortune]

okay im just gonna type some shit for the moment or whatever but elise mf origin post because it's super funny to me

long rambly post with a bunch of card game images

anyway way back in like 2020 and early 2021 Legends of Runeterra had its Lab of Legends mode. Similar to Path of Champions but like, way more basic since it was the earlier version. You pick a champ and fight through a series of 9? stages or so, theyre all the same each time, with the bosses being Thresh, Sejuani (FUCK Scargrounds stage) and Viktor (and FUCK Guard Bots stage too). Each first clear with a champ would grant you a unique player icon for them, but I wasn't super concerned with collecting them all, I really just wanted Miss Fortune. The problem was that her starting deck is kind of Not Great and it's especially easy to get reamed by bad rng and her ability is straight up a hindrance against Scargrounds. I was having so much trouble with MF runs it was unreal. My friend cleared it relatively quickly, but I could not for the life of me get a good run going. I struggled with it on and off for WEEKS. I was just resigned to never clearing it.

So one fateful day in February of 2021 I am going through yet another MF lab run and get offered a choice between Zoe, Elise and Jinx as my deck's support champs. Fuck it, I'm thinking, just take Elise for laughs, who gives a shit anymore.

While I'm playing I'm shitposting on discord with a friend and making jokes about the whole thing, and we all know what happens when you make jokes. Didn't win that run but within a day it did get the gears in ye olde brain turning.

(i've now had this sitting in drafts for a month btw LOL i forgor)

The next month I'm starting up yet another run, and at this point I'm so demoralized by my bad luck with this I'm just like, yeah okay whatever Elise again, I'm just gonna lose at Scargrounds again like always

So I'm just going through the motions with this run and being more excited about the loot I'm getting of the Empires of the Ascended event. Somehow got quite lucky through Scars and Sejuani because the ai wasn't pulling followers to play.

Like I really cannot stress how lackluster the rng through this run was, I was genuinely surprised I got through Sejuani lmao

I guess purely to spite me, this run makes it past Foundry and Guard Bots and gets to Viktor. It's.... dicey. Elise's spiders give me more fodder to keep the nexus safe but between Elise's support cards and Sarah's starting deck, I don't really have any big hitters if Viktor starts to beef up, and I was never able to pick up anything from round rewards.

The Ruination I picked up comes in an early draw and comes in handy, clearing the board. I'm in the damn trenches clutching my spiders and fighting for my life. Another Viktor comes out, I draw a second Ruination and pop it. Viktor plays a Nyandroid.

He doesn't seem to have anything else to play. With both Sarah and Elise leading the charge, I attack.

Finally, finally, after so many attempts, I was FREE. Love fucking wins. Sarah's Love Tap took out the 5/1 bot that would have killed Elise during the Guard Bots stage. These champs speedran enemies to lovers through a month of me suffering through to get my first clear. I was utterly bewildered.

So anyway thats the story of how Elise/Miss Fortune was kind of a joke and then not a joke and I have given very serious consideration as to how they could encounter one another and how that would go.

Elise Does make trips to Bilgewater btw, thanks Ruined King!

[leshyleaf]

No question, just wanna say you make the best Flowey content in this fandom, also I love his friendship with Papyrus especially in your work <3

wow no way!?! this is such a huge compliment and it means so much to me, gosh ty! They’re my favorites so I’m really really glad that I can do em justice hahahsd

Here r some unfinished floral sketches I never posted, just 4 u 💞

But yeah, I’ve always been really interested in papyrus’s and flowey’s friendship(?) dynamic, it just seems like they had something complicated but special, yk? I think a lot of ppl see papyrus as temperamental, but in reality I don’t think that’s actually true? He gets annoyed at extremely specific things, but you can make flowey SO MAD or so scared, and no matter what u say or do to papyrus he never gets offended, and never dislikes you. Your choices concerning papyrus almost never matter. I think the only true friend flowey could’ve had is someone like that really, because flowey has no empathy and no filter…he’s stuck in a childlike mindset, and is soulless to boot. I don’t think that makes him unable to feel…he helps toriel when she collapses in the ruins (see the alarm clock dialogue) and he seems sad and confused when you spare him.

I really just think he lacks empathy now, which would be something that I think monsters as a species would not be used to (they’re all so kind), especially bc he used to be one of the kindest. I think that abrupt, violent change in your empathetic capability would make anyone (especially a child) confused and hurt…I believe he thinks that he can’t feel anything about anyone, but that’s not actually true. I just think he’s traumatized. His life went so fucking wrong so fast, his best friend and sibling died, he died, and then was given godlike time powers. That’s not a good recipe for well-adjusted child.

In typical flowey fashion, he betrays papyrus in true pacifist, and aludes to messing around with him when he had the ability to reset, but names him as his favorite, and seems to know more about him than even his own brother (see the official undertale tumblr ask thingy) Papyrus is canonly really good with kids. He is the only character we battle that does not kill frisk. Every single one of his puzzles are harmless, and the ones that aren’t, he puts away or just uses on himself (still not sure that electric maze mishap was truly accidental…). he traps you in a cage that is totally 100% escapable, and praises you when you do…he goes on a funny little date with you…it just seems like he’s trying to get this kid to laugh and smile.

He even gives you his number so he can assist you in your journey through the underground…and answers in every single room where there is reception. I think flowey deserves/needs a friend like this. Someone patient (most of the time lol), understanding, and forgiving. Someone who’d see the sadness behind your emotional cactus exterior and start a fan club for you to cheer you up. Someone who believes you can do better, literally no matter what. Someone goofy and exuberant he can just be a kid with. Someone who can take any insult and turn it back around on the little shit who threw it at him.

Ok I could write about this forever lmao Im so sorry. I just think they’re neat.

[smndragon]

GODS AND HOW THEY AFFECT PEOPLE PT 2

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOYED IM SO TIRED

Okay, so we established this is a possibility that they associate and gift their talents and eyes to people living. If you haven't seen that post it's on my master list/pinned post.

Gotta thank @i-would-marry-thunderhead though they didn't try they helped me find a missing piece on what I was looking for.

More thanks to @medusa12346 and @tulatodivine for helping me find the click to read more thing, I'm new so😶

It's not random. As planets rule zodiacs, it's know some gods rule them, and it's not just planets as not all mythology and religion is based on planetary stuff. For example, if Ares rules mars and Mars rules Aries. People with Aries in their chart are gifted some of the small things Ares has.

So here are the planets and what they rule along with some things the gods may gift you Greek and Roman style. If you would like other gods please ask I'm not well versed in many others it's been a while since I've researched.

Links (minor searching sorry it's late I also may have to finish readings tommorow though I do have to go somewhere so sorry): Wikipedia gods and planets ruling with this link there is also more religions and gods with planets so if you're interested look into it.

More on the planets and gods in longer versions

What zodiacs the planets rule

Let me clarify Wikipedia is not always trustworthy but my research will be short tonight.

Preferably they will be within the big 3 but there are also minor things to look into I can't remember all of a sudden I REMEMBER

Basically depending on if it's the sun, moon, or ascendant. These emotions could come out at certain times or moments

SUN:

Apollo seems to be talked about with the sun but it also looked like Helios was the main with Apollo helping out at times or more often so they'll both be here ig: like said they rule the sun and the sun rules Leo (guessed it lol ily guys) some gist given to you Leo charted people you may be gifted with the ability to partially know if something is a 'yes or no' you may get deja Vu at times as signs from Apollo. You are also of course gifted with the ability to look good in gold. Other things could be his beauty, tanned skin, gut senses, nice legs, running and etc I can't remember

From Helios you may be gifted with good sight and vision, strong feet I feel idk?, And so far strong connection to growing things (will maybe add more if found)

OKAY this is gonna be a while.

MOON:

Artemis and Selene (of course her) rule over the moon which rules over Cancer. Possible talents and gifts are animal connections, animal eyes watching over you as companions, medical knowledge, natural medicines also, Excellence in athletics Kirk archery and stuff to do with jumping.

Selene gifts you oohhh it's possible you could slide some Helios gifts here to because they're siblings apparently. I see youth, strong arms, strength (not overboard remember), elegant style in clothing, and the moons watch during the night.

To clarify, there also things to think of like planet aspects and fuck the numbers the tilt or some shit uhyy yeah that will tell how strong these abilities may be.

MERCURY: all this got deleted guys ughhh

Hermes rules mercury which is both surprising and not. Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo (who is also associated with Chiron). Possible gifts include running, determination, medium abilities (determined by what I stayed above also on strength), probably funny ass jokes. Fly, you're just gonna be fly af. Hermes was a very important god to me, he also signifies glory, domination, and success full filled to me so yeah. The ability to soother the people around you with either your voice or your touch, clear or nice voice.

VENUS: WHY ARE THERE 3 HERE?!!??!? I wanted to include the goddess Venus but we'll see😭

Aphrodite rules Venus understandably, Venus rules Taurus and Libra I believe. Possible talents and gifts are of course beauty, loved eyes, this so kind weird but musical talent, telepathy (little), birds as helpers (as in messengers to the clouds or many realms), possible skill for design.

I saw a name called cypris but I'm not sure that's true I looked into it just a bit and found someone named Cypress I don't know if they're related but I believe it's possible? Other names are Cyparissus or Kyparissos. They were liked or loved by Apollo. It's not big but what I read was interesting.

There was also a Cytherea, this was probably an alias or second name given or that of Aphrodite, knowing this there was also a place called Cyprus which leads me to believe Cypris was another alias or typo.

MARS:

As talked about before. Most of us know they rules over Mars, mars rules over Aries. Possible gifts could include determination (he may have been a little cowardly which makes sense as an Aries sun with my shyness), strength, talent in art or drawing idk why I just feel that, piano (also applies to Sagittarius ppl honestly), understanding languages also possibly? Crafty with tools and objects, tactic smart in small ways.

JUPITER:

I saw the name Dias which I wasn't sure on, Dias I believe is another alias and modern name for Zeus. Zeus rules Jupiter and Jupiter rules Sagittarius so thats also no surprise. Gifts and talents may be swimming, science, young literature and old, an eye for good things, blessings through touch (more on a topic I'll bring up later not strong here), dancing, hunting, generosity, a promise of children. I feel many people with Zeus or Ares in their chart may have been accused as witches in those centuries. (Random) that'd all I get right now

FOUR MORE

SATURN:

It said Cronus, I knew him as chronos (hit chronological order) which may have been wrong. He can go by that cronos, or kronos. He rules Saturn and Saturn rules Capricorn which also is understandable with relations between them. Talents and gifts may include: I feel like y'all may have thought you were telekinetic when you were younger💀, I see ginger hair here also, sticky fingers (stealth), time control (as in good with keeping time on track), perception of lies (the man was fooled right? True but I feel it's still smth small), faithfulness (also crazy uh), a gift of great smell, good taste in food choices, I feel like he raised a bunch of hand holders 💕💕 idk why I just do. That's all here

URANUS:

It says Ouranos which makes me think of Ouran highschool host club for some reason, I really would like a season 2. But it's funny cause I didn't know him and he seems pretty interesting though it seems like a minor role if he's the heavens personified that's some big stuff. He rules Uranus which rules Aquarius, possible talents and gifts could be (BLINDING LIGHTS IS PLAYING THIS IS GOOD UGHH I LOVE THIS SONG) alright back to it. Talents like, singing, clairaudience, intuitiveness, a love for curiosity and knowledge, liked skin and proportions, natural attraction, believable, natural leader when younger though maybe not as grown idk.

NEPTUNE:

Of course ruled by Poseidon. Idk why I still add the planets it's the thing above🤦🏽‍♀️ I just make this harder on myself. Neptune rules Pisces. Gifts and talents could be creativity, building, imagination, pull towards earth, swimming, attraction to people also (in a way that your looks capture people as Pisces is beautifully soft), strong senses of the eyes and ears, technology, either quiet or loud voice.

PLUTO:

The official one for Greeks is Hades, there was a name before called Plouton or Ploútōn another name for Hades. Pluto rules Scorpio, also guessed. Gifts and talents may be excelling in curricular concepts like philosophy, leadership (you guys can lead double lives but you're good rulers ngl kinda manipulative at them tho), you guys could probably background check me through connections with ppl lol, people confide in you often this is good cause I feel you feel loved by this, risk takers (Hades is kinda 'out of the circle' which leads to thoughts that Scorpios like to explore and be chaotic because of this at times they're finally free on earth), down to earth or way up high one way or another no in-between, natural ideas that people can't help but fall for, the ability to be unnoticed when wanted, stealthy, quick under pressure. you guys make this world more enjoyable over all there's not much ik you guys are just amazing to me for some reason.

END

that's all there but more to add on are things like blood line theory, if you are a natural descendant of a god (not by literal blood just chosen exactly by them) then there's a chance your abilities will be stronger and you will make a more greater imprint on the world. Not all of these were used for good. They cna be used to any advantage.

I believe asteroids also have something to do with the gods so if you would like to hear something on that please ask!

All in all this post took about 2 hours and 30 mins or close which isn't bad. Sorry if anything was missed and please share your ideas on this I love hearing them!

Coming back to say I'm surprised Hera wasn't here I was looking forward to her

[wizkiddx]

your song blurb

hello!! sorry ive been so inactive and I have got a number of req that I am trying to work through - I am sorry, please be as patient as you can with me. general life shit and all hasn't been ideal. I am aware I reaaallly need to update my master list and will get round to it when I can I promise ;)

also have lots of asks abt the t + z situation but all I have to say is im so very happy for them and hope people respect their privacy ;)

harryhollandxreader // friends --> lovers blurb

summary: harry never sings in front of you, until you need it

//////////////////////////

There were some things that Harry, even after being friends for years, kept close to his chest. The one that you always tried to catch him out on was his singing. For some unknown reason, he was super self conscious of it. Every time he was nonchalantly humming along to himself, all it took was for you to make a single sound, and he’d immediately lock his mouth shut. From those fleeting moments, you had thought he didn’t even sound half bad, hence where your frustrations drew.

Because whilst you, who sounded like a cat being tortured, would scream your lungs out - Harry, who wasn’t even that bad, refused to make a fool out of himself.

It was exactly what had happened this evening when you had let yourself into Tom’s house otherwise unannounced. It’d been years since you’d been given a spare key by Harry - when they were both away, you often ‘house-sat’ for Tom; plus, you spent most evenings there too because that was where your best mate was.

Tom had messaged on the group chat to say he would be out for the evening, and Haz was around his girlfriends tonight, meaning on arrival, you’d known it’d just be you and Harry. So once you heard the quiet tune of a song, that you couldn’t quite place yet, safe to say you were on stealth mode. Sliding your shoes off and wincing as the floorboards creaked a little, you slowly crept through the house to find your frizzy-haired friend.

Sure enough, as you made your way through the kitchen, you found him stood over the hob, stirring round a wooden spoon of a saucepan - presumably filled with pasta he’d promised to have ready for you. Pouting as you leaned on the doorframe and crossed your arms, marvelling at him. He was dressed just in grey joggers and his favourite pink hoodie, arms rolled up to his elbow as the poor boy slaved away at the stove.

You stayed silent, to what you now recognised as billy joel, only unable to stifle a giggle when he reached a particularly high note. Like a rabbit caught in headlights, he jumped around and yelled, eyes fiery and pointed at you.

“OH fuck off Y/n!!”

“Billy Joel, an old school choice.” You smirked, now walking into the room to greet him properly.

“How long have you been stalking on me?”

“It’s not stalking if the stalkee gave me the key.”

“I don’t think that’s admissible in court.” He deadpanned back, pouting for a couple more seconds before finally shooting you a wide grin. The boy held his arms out, welcoming you into a proper greeting hug. Happily reciprocating, you inhaled deeply with your face pressed into the crook of his shoulder.

“How was work?” He murmured, already guessing the answer correctly.

“Shit. Exhausting. Hell, you want any more adjectives?” Harry just snorted back as you leaned away from his warmth.

“Nah rule of three is quite enough. Did you never pay attention in GCSE english?”

“Fuck off you can’t even spell GCSE.”

That was always how your friendship had been; it had always been a piss-taking battle. You simply were one of the boys - or at least that’s what you thought. Said boys though (meaning Sam, Tom, Harrison, Tuwaine and even Paddy) disagreed. You didn’t know, or didn’t believe, that Harry did NOT treat you like one of the boys. He cared about you differently, too. Tom thought it didn’t stop there, that Harry did in fact love you.

And yes, you might’ve admitted to Harrison on one very, very drunken night that you had occasionally thought of Harry as something more than your sarky friend. He had been since sworn to silence, though Haz had in fact, told Tom - who only replied with an ‘i told you so’.

Even though everyone else saw your relationship as complicated, to you and Harry it was just simple. You were just the best of friends.

And that’s how the evening went. The two of you were just messing around as usual; after eating the tomatoey pasta creation Harry had tried, you both made a right mess of the washing up - water ending up coating the floor and maybe one of the walls too (Tom would never know). And just like usual, it ended with you sprawled out on one sofa, Harry mirroring you on the adjacent one.

It was love island season, which meant every night at 9 pm there was only one place on earth either of you would be. On your respective sofas, watching the most trashy tv in the world.

Tonight though, no matter how excited you were for the next instalment of who-likes-who, your day of work caught up with you. Not that you noticed, but you’d pretty much passed out as soon as the opening scenes started. There were only two minutes of silence before Harry registered something was up - typically, he was trying to make you shut up so he could actually hear the TV. To investigate, he jumped off the sofa and leaned over the couch, the sight making him pout.

He knew work had been super stressful recently; and he also knew that your insomnia had been coming back with a vengeance. So instead of treating you like ‘one of the boys’ and throwing things until you woke up - Harry used a different approach. He draped the blanket that hung off the side of the sofa over you, biting back a slight smile as you huffed in appreciation for the soft quilt. Then Harry left you alone, knowing you could do with every little bit of rest you could get.

That was all good until it reached the third set of adverts when Harry heard you huff and move about on the sofa. And then again and again. Then again with what sounded like a bit of whimper too.

Brows furrowed, he paused the TV and slowly got up, rounding the sofa to see you somewhat matching his expression. Your face was contorted in one of distress, and you kept thrashing your head from side to side of the pillow. It didn’t take a genius to work out; this was your nightmares rearing their ugly heads.

Harry just wanted to stop this for you. Although the two of you were never particularly ‘mushy’ or vulnerable with each other - he knew just how much you were suffering recently. So without much thought into it, Harry knelt down to sit on the floor, side leaning up against the sofa as he looked towards you. Trying to hush you, he ran his hand over your forehead and over the top of your hair, though it seemed to take little effect. And then, again entirely without hesitation, Harry started to softly sing.

It’s a little bit funny

This feeling inside

I’m not one of those who can easily hide

Why Elton John was the first that came to mind was a mystery to Harry - except maybe that the lyrics ran true a little.

And you can tell everybody

This is your song

It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done

I hope you don’t mind

I hope you don’t mind

That I put down in the words

How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

You’d always loved old 70s music, you were the one that had properly got you into all that stuff - the beatles, billy joel, elton, even a bit of springsteen. He owed half his music taste to your Spotify playlists, even if he’d never admit it to your face.

So excuse me forgetting

But these things I do

You see I’ve forgotten, if they’re green or they’re blue

Anyway the thing is, what I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

With a final huff, you finally settled down, Harry swore he could see all the discomfort literally melting away from your face. It took a minute but your breath evened out, mumbling something incomprehensible as you curled up toward him on the edge of the sofa.

This wasn't the first time he’d sang to you in your sleep - and he sort of hoped it wouldn't be the last either.

feedback is really appreciated <3

harry taglist : @euphorichxlland @lovehollandy12 @pandaxnienke @msmimimerton @crossyourpeter @hallecarey1

[cherryblossomtease]

Chapter 18

18 + only (sub reader/bucky, dom zemo, first time m/m, collars/leash kink, and more please see masterlist for full warnings)

Warnings and summary - Masterlist

The directions were simple

“Go into the bedroom, you may help one another, and when you’re done getting ready, wait for me on the bed. The collars are in the bottom drawer…”

Bucky follows you, his hands wandering; stroking your hair, your back, your neck. He’s never going to be able to follow rule three if he keeps this up. You laugh swatting his hand away, trying to avoid his touch as you open the door to the bedroom.

Inside, he watches as you go to the closet and find the items just as Zemo said you would.

“How do we know which are which?” He asks from the bed.

You turn and grin holding them up.

His is thicker, heavier, and you wonder if these were in the crate Oeznik did not open.

“Me first?” You offer going to him.

“Sure” He says and watches you pull your tank top off over your head and toss it onto one of the plush chairs in the room. Bucky surprises you and finds the zipper of your skirt, pulling it down easily. He tugs the silk organza off your hips with a cocky smile as the fabric falls, giving you a little wink that makes you roll your eyes, giggling with your tongue between your teeth. Oh fuck it—your underwear comes sliding down your thighs too— no use pretending this won’t escalate quickly.

“Come closer.” He says and you stand between his legs.

He’s breathing hard already, his eyes bright with the excitement.

You look him over thinking about how beautiful he is. This is an established fact stated so many times it doesn’t need to be said. But you can’t stop looking at him tonight and you know it’s because you’ve lived with and loved him for more than a year now. The many connections between you run deep and now you’ll share in this singular experience with him. You feel… special.

Does he feel hesitant, you wonder eyeing his profile. You did the first time you ever had sex and you desperately want him to know that every time he’s ever tried to play the hero to you, tonight you will be his should he need it— but James is a lucky man. Zemo actually loves  him. He won’t find himself under some greasy haired, overly perfumed son of a Low Town gangster who thinks he’s hot shit. You hold in a laugh at the memory of your “first” and his sad, selfish attempts to satisfy you.

Watching Bucky from the corner of your eye, you raise your chin and keep close so he can gather the leather around the back of your neck. He buckles it easily, and you feel that familiar sensation of your body waking up. The clink of the metal, the touch of the leather, your nipples perk, you feel the slippery response between your legs— it’s all nice but you want to focus on him and you hope your desire to care for Bucky as he would you shows through in your own movements.

Pressing the center of the strap to his strong neck, you pull one side and then the other, pausing to kiss his jaw, nipping at his ear, you make him practically giggle involuntarily. He tucks his ear to his shoulder, leaning away from you. You smile and loop the ends, finding the perfect notch. “How’s that?” You ask softly, running your fingers back around and down his neck.

His eyes close as he smiles. “Good. A little tight, but— I like it.” How the tides have turned you think, remembering the first time he ever heard those words from you when he reluctantly fastened you into your restraints.

Your smile matches his as you stroke his scruffy cheek. “Perfect” You quickly unbutton his shirt and smooth your hands under the lapels sliding it off his shoulders and in doing so actually catch a glimpse of a metal loop you hadn’t noticed on the back of the collar at first. “Oh wait. I think there’s more.” You say realizing what that other thing was in the drawer. “Hang on.” You tell him, leaving Bucky shirtless on the bed.

“What is it?” He asks as you go back to the closet and open the bottom drawer. You don’t answer but when you return with a matching leash he tilts his head —a little like Zemo does— looking slightly suspicious.

“This is meant to clip on.” You say wondering how he’ll respond.

Bucky’s eyes go wide for a second. He pushes his palms to his thighs letting this layer of information settle as he leans in and chuckles shaking his head. “He thinks I’m dog now?” He inquires with a brow raised high. He sounds ever so slightly disturbed.

You snicker sweetly “Hush.” You say and go to him. You lean around and clip it on, feeling his hands on your ass as you smooth the length of it out. The leash is long, but not overly done. It’s the perfect length for Zemo to wrap around his hand once and really get a tight grip. “More like, a puppy. A good boy.” You tease trying not to laugh too hard.

Bucky’s look of outrage does it and you can’t hold the laughter in. Still grinning you try to soothe the sting. “Im sorry, I’m only teasing. You’re a very grown man with very large muscles who could probably crush everyone on this ship if he wanted. You’re very scary and we all fear you.”

“Oh ha ha. You’re so funny,”

“Aw, okay I’m sorry. Really.” You say meaning it.

He glances up and you can tell he’s not really mad, you’ve teased him about looking like the least intimidating killer before, which truth be told is something you probably shouldn’t joke about given the hurt he’s caused but it was never his choice. “Listen.” You say and lay your hands on his chest. “I think he made it very clear how he feels about you James.” You say his name so he knows you’re not playing anymore and it works like it always does.

Bucky looks up at you, studying your face for a second or two before he breaks, and looks away flashing the widest smile.

“By the way. When did you tell him? How you feel I mean.”

He thinks back as if he can’t remember. “This morning.” He says a little awkwardly.

So that explains why he was acting so off and sort of fidgety all day, and why Zemo has been so quiet. “And he clearly didn’t say it back.”

Bucky looks down as though he still feels the sting of rejection. “It was —not good. We were on the top deck laughing about something and I just, well I went for it. I looked him in the eyes, I held his hand and told him. He just stared at me. Eventually he said something like thank you, I think, I dunno, I sort of blacked out a little.” He says looking towards the windows “He said he needed to “attend to something” and walked away. He kissed me first though” He says with a sad laugh.

“And you’ve just been acting like nothing happened all day?” You hate that he’s kept it to himself, what an awful thing to suffer through; then again, it is Bucky. He’s known worse.

“What else was I supposed to do?”

“Tell me?”

“Why so you could make it a thing?”

“Well yeah?”

“I’m not a kid.” He says your name and you back down a little “I’m a grown man. I’ve had my heart broken”

“And put back together.” You remind him.

His eyes dart up to meet yours and slowly his smile returns. You know he’s thinking about the dance and the beautiful moment that followed. “Yeah. Turns out he wasn’t as ready as you thought he would be. But it didn’t take long.” He says sounding a little smug.

“I never had a doubt about Helmut’s love for you. I wouldn’t have wanted you to come with me if I weren’t sure. So,” You gently pull the strap around letting him see, “when it comes to things like this you just have to be honest. He trusts that you will, that we will. If you don’t want the leash James, don’t have it. Never be too proud to say no.”

He’s listening and you can see him actually thinking about it. Probably assessing his boundaries and weighing them against his love for Helmut and his level of comfort. He’s not used to this feeling, you can tell. He’s so physically strong, there are times he probably feels invincible. He’s certainly not used to being intimidated by the idea of the unknown. But tonight you suppose it’s more than that. “Are you sure you want this?” You ask wondering.

Bucky leans back surprised by the question. “More than anything.” He says without hesitation. You exhale the breath you’re holding feeling elated for tonight to become the start of so much more.

“You look beautiful by the way, you have all night.” He says softly “I meant to say so earlier.”

Damn it Barnes.

Your lips meet in a soft kiss and you lean against his chest feeling small in the warm space between his legs as his hands slowly glide across your back holding you so close…

The bedroom door opens and you part.

Turning in Bucky’s arms you’re fully aware that together you must paint the prettiest picture. The way Zemo gazes across the room at the two of you, this notion is quickly confirmed.

He has to stop in the doorway and just take it in. You’ve never seen him at a loss like this before. But you’re standing naked wearing the collar he chose for you with your arms around the man he thought he would never have, now in his own soft black leather restraint and that leash held loose in your hand.

You slide it up slowly over Bucky’s bare chest letting it drag across his skin and he closes his eyes against the rousing tickle until it falls over his back. You know damn well what you’re doing as you look back at the Baron with big, innocent eyes.

“Get up.” Zemo says, his already rough voice gone deep like it does when he’s ready to destroy you both.

Bucky gently moves you aside and stands.

“Take off the rest of your clothes.”

You stand beside Bucky watching him strip.

“And why are you still standing?” Zemo asks the second Bucky is finished, as if it’s laughable that either of you should think to do anything other than kneel before him. Funny though, he doesn’t have say it again before you’re both on your knees.

“Safe words” Zemo says unbuttoning his shirt as he comes closer.

“Rapunzel.”

“Streusel”

“Songs” He says, undoing his pants, slipping them down and off.

“Anything from the sound of music.”

“Penny’s from heaven.”

“Colors James?”

“Red means stop, yellow means slow,” Bucky’s breath catches and you glance over to find the Baron pulling his head back by the hair just a little “Green— means go.”

Zemo slowly reaches with his other hand and grips the leash letting go of Bucky’s hair, but he keeps him in this back bent position as he trails his fingers down over Bucky’s face and traces his lips, lowering to kiss him before letting go of the leather strip. Bucky’s soft moan as he melts into the kiss makes the deepest center of your belly quiver as you take a stuttered breath in.

Zemo holds his face in both hands now, the tip of his nose grazing over Bucky’s, his lips gently kissing his closed eyelids and his forehead before leaving him.

Moving silently Zemo comes to you so quickly you hardly have time to catch your breath before his mouth closes in and your eyes roll shut as his tongue finds yours with ease. It is an unexpectedly calm kiss that makes your skin tingle. He knows that when he kisses you like this, you feel both his affection for you and completely overpowered; so much so that you do nothing but submit to whatever it is he wants. He licks the crest of your top lip, presses a soft kiss to you again moaning very quietly and smiles at you.

“Sweet girl… you taste like James tonight. Have you been kissing him?”

“Only a little.”

He laughs “It’s all right. I like it.” He lifts your chin holding onto your jaw as he smooths his hand onto the top of your head, keeping it there. He sighs deep in his chest, and you look up at him waiting, wondering if he will show you his gentle side…

He sighs and smiles at you shaking his head just a little “You do like to tease me don’t you?” He clicks his tongue with a disapproving tsk-tsk. “Oh, I will enjoy this.” He pets your head and you watch the way he looks you over; naked, on your knees, willing to be his completely and there is the most beautiful darkness in his kind eyes.

You swallow feeling your throat resist the collar. You want to smile but you’re a little afraid of what he means and you know better than to assume.

“James.” He says looking over, with you still held close in this slightly awkward position.

“Yes Baron.”

“Go to the center of the room, sit and wait.”

“Yes Baron,” He says and gets up leaving your line of sight.

His grip on your face tightens. “Beautiful girl.” Zemo says looking back down at you, his eyes wild like they were before he was sent away, “Forgive me. I will enjoy this…”

**

Bucky never looks away from your punishments anymore. Now he watches with a jealous sort of lust that makes it all the better.

His eyes are fixed on you as he waits from his place in the center of the room and you are momentarily distracted by him which is nice because you need a break from the pain.

“You do like to tease, don’t you.” Zemo says circling you slowly. He sighs pretending to feel sorry for you.

Your fingers are interlaced on top of your head and you don’t dare put them down again after he gave your palms a slap with the leather— how silly that you hadn’t considered that the leash could be used against you. Now you’re here paying for underestimating Zemo and your earlier actions.

Your lips and eyes shut tight but you manage to open you mouth and answer him. “Yes Baron.”

“I know.” He says, his tone all too cool. He steps in front of you again and you wait breathing fast knowing that it’s coming.

That thin leash strikes the tops of your thighs licking your skin with the heat of fire and you hold in your cries, looking across the room at Bucky whose narrowed gaze shows some ounce of sympathy, but mostly you see how badly he wants to get up, push Zemo out of the way and fuck you.

When the next few strikes criss cross your thighs in a pattern of pain you give in, unable to take more and sink down onto your heels, your shaking breath nearly turning to tears.

Zemo stops and comes over pulling you back up onto your knees by your elbows. “Look at me.”

You won’t

“Look at me.”

You open your eyes but you hate him right now.

“Don’t tease.” He says shaking his head. He smiles and kisses your cheek, ignoring your angry face. “But, I have to admit, you are an incredible dancer. Next time, let me touch the parts I like most, yes?” He asks tweaking the tip of your nose.

You roll your eyes but quickly mumble. “Yes Baron”

He laughs a little and kisses your forehead. “So feisty tonight,” He says petting your head. “Should we continue until I’ve whipped it out of you?” He asks, standing with the leash dangling in his hand, both the front and backs of your thighs stinging.

“No! I’m sorry.” You insist while thinking back to how you shook your ass in the lounge and how you can’t wait to do it again. Maybe next time you’ll be able to take more of the consequences…

He smiles stroking your face.

“Fine.” He gazes down at you for a little while until you calm and eventually his hand feels as good on your skin as it ever has. “James.” He calls.

“Yes Baron.”

Zemo walks over going around behind Bucky and clips the leash back onto his collar, the sound is soft but chilling. You see the way Bucky’s eyes close and his muscles tense. “Come, let’s make her feel better. I think she’s learned her lesson enough for tonight.”

Both their eyes are on you.

You watch Zemo take that leash in hand and wrap it around his palm closing it in his fist like you knew he would, but you’re curious if he’ll actually take the next step, so you wait holding your breath. Sure enough, as he orders you to lay on your back with your legs spread, Zemo pulls Bucky along making him cross the short distance on all fours.

Holy shit…

“I want to hear her say your name.” Zemo says as Bucky lowers “I want you to make her come like you did while I was away.”

Bucky does not hesitate and your entire body responds to the warmth of his mouth closing in on you. Your toes curl to points, your knees bend boxing him in, your back arches high letting your chin lift until the top of your head is nearly touching the floor.

He licks up the center of your divide parting your lips to circle your entrance quickly, you can hear and feel his arousal as soft, muffled moaning against your wet center and when he slides his hands under your ass and raises you up like a plate to be licked clean you nearly scream.

As he finds a good rhythm it does begin to feel just like New York. Bucky always loved burrying his face between your legs for as long as you wanted him to, there was never a rush, never any pressure to hurry, just this sort of lazy enjoyment that consumed you both.

Helmuts voice sounds very distant as he asks, “Does it feel good?” He already knows.

“Yes” You sigh feeling relaxed after a while, Bucky’s fingers press into the fleshy parts of your backside and you smile.

The sharp crack of leather on skin makes you jump and your eyes fly open. Bucky gives a surprised but subdued yelp that gets lost against you.

Helmut doesn’t want you relaxed, he wants you screaming.

You’re dropped to the floor and the flicking of Bucky’s tongue becomes a heavy, more determined effort, amplified by the way he moans as Zemo takes a knee behind him and directs his attention to parts of the soldier’s body that you can’t see.

So it’s like that tonight.

It might be out of your line of sight, but you can imagine what’s happening based on the lovely sounds Bucky is making; all those deep moans laced with a hint of pain and you open your eyes gasping as he vigorously begins to suck your clitoris.

From the throws of your rising orgasm, you sense eyes on you and manage to look. Helmut is watching, left hand down busy with Bucky between the two of you.

“Let go, don’t hold back.” He says looking in your eyes as you pant. “I like to see it. I like to see the way you nearly cry when he makes your thighs shake and you say his name when you look at me.”

When you moan it’s the sort that you’re not in control of, it’s a response to the things Zemo is saying to you, a reflex that grips and holds as tight as your collar.

His right hand glides across the horizon of Bucky’s raised ass, the leash rolling along with it and you toss your head back and flex every muscle as Barnes puts his all into devouring your pussy.

His head moves up and down as he works his tongue, but it is the sight of that single, otherwise innocuous bit of black leather held by the man in control of it all that sends you over the edge.

“Would you like to come?” He asks his favorite question.

“Please,” You beg.

He pulls the leash; you feel the loss of pressure which is maddening. That smug little smile on Zemo’s mouth making it both better and worse.

“Please Baron.”

“Did you ever think of me when he fucked you?” He asks suddenly curious. "When he licked you like he is now?”

“Sometimes,” You confess still breathless.

Zemo frowns and pulls the leash harder. The muscle of his arm flexes and you hate him when he denies you a climax but he looks so good doing it. Bucky rises up to sitting to stop from being choked.

On even level with Bucky now, Zemo reaches around to grab his wet chin. “You were a good substitute soldat I’ll give you that much… she does seem ready to come, what do you think?”

Bucky gazes down at you licking his lips slowly—tasting, you, smelling you— he’s happier than he’s letting on and you know he’s just thankful for the permission to have your legs wrapped around his neck again. A hint of his own dominance flickers in his eyes. He stares at you with your thighs parted for him, moaning softly as they rock open and shut from wanting more. “Yes Baron. She does.” He says and the way they look, towering over you together with Zemo like a dark shadow behind the tightly wound power of Bucky; you bite your lip and swallow hard so ready to be devoured.

“Go on, finish her off,” Zemo says and gives him the slack needed. He pushes Bucky back down and the wonderfully obedient Sergeant dives back in.

The pause only makes the continuation better and when you see Zemo reach between Bucky’s legs again, you feel, not hear Bucky’s response as a deep, heavy moan that vibrates against you.

Your orgasm is nearly instant.

The rhythmic pressure rises until its inescapable; your voice goes high and your body jerks once with the perfect shock of pleasure, holding tight until you melt into the pulsing release, moaning again and again, thrusting against his face until you are shaking and yes, in the end you say his name. Just as your Baron wants. You breathe it, gasp it, reach and pull his hair, shoving his face deeper into the throbbing result of his skilled tongue as you smile “James” You sigh releasing him as you sink to the floor with a shiver so happy to have said it.

In the dizzying afterglow — your arm draped over your eyes, your breath shallow, your legs completely useless— you keep your eyes closed until their sloppy kiss breaks the silence.

“And now, you taste like her” Helmut says with a soft laugh against him, followed by the distinct sound Bucky makes when anyone touches him, especially on the underside of his shaft where he’s so sensitive it’s almost cruel— you really do love that sound.

From under lazy half open eyelids, you watch the smooth motion of Zemo’s hand stroking Bucky a few times. His smiling approval has a warm humming tone as the solider grows harder in his hand, and then Zemo kisses Bucky’s cheek, gets up and leaves him throbbing.

You just close your eyes again, still feeling so high.

Helmuts return rouses you and when you manage to open your eyes it’s just in time to see the blindfold come down covering Buckys’.

He goes stiff, alerted and resistant for a moment, but Helmut is there whispering to him in Sokovian to calm him like one would a prize stallion. He takes a knee behind Bucky and gently slides the elastic band further down around the back of his head.

With a look of lust and wonder at the man he gets to have, Helmut smiles and smooths his hands down both of Bucky’s shoulders, kissing the metal one as he slips his hand through the space between his arm and waist to lay it flat against Bucky’s stomach pulling him close.

“Can you feel how hard you make me?” His deep voice sounds needy in Bucky’s ear.

You sit up a bit, somewhat recovered from your climax and watch the way Bucky’s pretty mouth opens, how he doesn’t know what to say, how his powerful form looks both stronger in his bondage and yet so ready to submit.

“Answer me.”

“Yes Baron.” He says, barely audible.

“Are you afraid of this? Of me?”

“No…”

“Good” His eyes peer down at you in the dark “Come” He motions with his free hand, two fingers like he does inside of you, “Take him to the bed.”

You stand slowly, accepting Bucky’s leash, raising it high as it can only be done from the back and pull him up. For a moment you feel every ounce of control and power that Zemo must, then you take his hand and lead the man along.

“We’re at the bed” You say and lay his hand down letting him feel it. Bucky’s not so timid as you might be without your sight and you’ve been in his position many times before, but you can feel him being careful as he follows you onto the cool bedding.

“On your back” Zemo tells you not far behind.

You crawl up to the pillows and turn over.

“Legs open, he’ll find you.” Zemo says with confidence in Bucky.

“Go to her James.” He says, his eyes flitting from you to Bucky’s profile and along the length of his beautiful form.

For a second you don’t think he will, but he does in fact make his way to you and quite easily. Super heroes— you grin and roll your eyes. Bucky finds your foot and you flinch, giggling from the tickle. He smiles too and gently grabs your ankle, smoothing his hand up to your knee, his fingers reaching and then closing over the curve as he waits to be told what to do with his head tilted ever so slightly as he listens for Zemo’s voice.

Watching from the edge of the bed, Zemo looks distant and detached in a way that sends a chill down your back but you don’t mind, there’s something thrilling in the voyeuristic nature of it. “You may break rule three.” He finally says.

With a soft gasp of surprise you stare at Helmut a little shocked to hear him say it. Bucky however does not need to be told twice.

He parts your knees and you suck in your bottom lip watching the White Wolf hover over you.

His silhouette is stunning. Just long curving lines of tense muscle and power and that vibranium shining black and gold, reflecting the moonlight from the large windows.

Both his hands move up to your thighs before you can stop him and you hiss from the pain— a reminder of Helmuts earlier punishment. Bucky loosens his grip instantly choosing instead to slide his metal arm under your hips, pulling you down flat onto the bed. You look down between your bodies and see him so hard and so ready that he’s making you eager for it in spite of already feeling spent. He however could go all night.

Bucky lifts your ass while lowering his own to blindly find and spear you without hesitation.

You gasp like the air has been knocked from your lungs. Your fingers dig into the flesh of his shoulder and neck and his open mouth finds yours as he starts to thrust, punching his hips forward. Your loud, awful cries are muffled by his deep kiss. He’s been craving you since the last time and it shows.

“She feels so good after she comes.” Helmut says now on the bed with you. “Theres nothing quite like it” He’s close, you hear him just over Bucky’s shoulder but your eyes stay shut.

“Yes” Bucky exhales in your ear holding you so tight. “She feels incredible” He moans.

“So do you.” Helmut says, and you let your eyes open to find him beside you. He’s watching with the hard look of a man who loves as much as he wants to destroy. It makes you smile before you look away just as Bucky jerks his hips forward drawing a loud cry from you. “Don’t stop James. Whatever you feel, don’t stop,” Helmut says, his voice fading.

You slide your head over a little and see him behind Bucky running his hand down the man’s back. He then reaches back and you hear the snap of a bottle but you can’t see so you close your eyes to listen.

“Don’t stop.” Helmut mumbles again.

Bucky disobeys almost instantly. The leash is pulled. The smack to his ass is loud. He starts again and you smile, loving the feel of his ordered thrusting, though it is hesitant. He lets go of you and reaches up, running his fingers over the black satin that blinds him like he might take it off but thinks better of it and keeps fucking you instead.

“You’ve had this before.” Helmut says assuring him that it’s nothing new.

Bucky groans a little slowly grinding against you though he turns his head to the side. “You’ll make me come.” He says, his jaw clenched, voice deep and harsh in warning as he licks his lips, pressing them tight with a tense moan.

“Not yet.”

You stroke his hair where it’s very short at the nape of his neck and nip at his ear, “Don’t come” You say softly and he turns back to you, the tension easing in his shoulders a little as he fucks you just a bit faster.

“Slowly.” Helmut tells him and Bucky moves his hand in close to touch your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. You kiss it and lay your own hand over his, letting him feel your smile as you moan from the way he moves. “Like before, yes?” Helmut says.

“Mmhm” He agrees.

”Just like before so that you will know what to expect, even when it’s not the same” Helmut says softly and you open your eyes. Bucky turns his head left to right, curious, excited and nervous. He opens his mouth and you stare at it, hypnotized by the way he expresses every second of what he feels. He bites down on his lip but lets go just as quickly with a gasp, a moan, a sharp hiss and you feel his cock twitch inside of you.

That, must have been two fingers.

He takes it though, and turns back to you slowly, cautiously starting to draw back and push forward again enjoying the stimulation that will make what comes next easier.

“Are you okay?” You whisper through your own shallow breathing as you kiss along his collar bone and run your fingers down his arms.

“Yes” He damn near growls and kisses you hard.

Lost in the feel of his perfect lips and thick cock, just as he starts to find the perfect rhythm, you’re taken by surprise when you feel Bucky groan deeply. He pulls away, turning his head again and even through the blindfold you can see his deep frown.

With one hand firm on Bucky’s side, his fingers pressing deep into his ribs, the Baron’s words melt into Sokovian and his eyes close. You aren’t sure at first, not until you see his right hand on Bucky’s back pushing down just a little and Bucky’s thrust stop completely— not because he’s been told to. Then you know.

The sound, god that soft, unmistakable sound of being taken fills the room and for once it’s not coming from you.

You hold your own breath and reach up cradling his face. You want to look into his eyes but the blindfold was put there by the man you both obey and you think you understand why. It has him so keyed into every touch, it’s heightened even the lightest sensation, that you wonder if it’s fair, it must be so intense, but it’s already happening. And you realize that as good as Bucky still feels inside of you the fact that Helmut is almost inside of him nearly pushes you over the edge.

With his hands tight on Bucky’s waist, you listen to Helmut moan deeply as he pushes past the resistance to smoothly but very slowly, inch by inch, fill him.

Bucky is loud in your ear, louder than you thought he would be and you smile holding him tight until he sighs sounding somehow both relieved and overwhelmed.

“It’s done.” Helmut says between tight breaths leaning over him, “Are you all right?”

Bucky nods against you.

With his cock finally sheathed and the two people he loves beneath him, you get a taste of what the future holds as the Baron starts to, in a sense, fuck you both.

Helmut pulls back. You can tell because Bucky shakes his head in protest, just a little. He pushes up between you like he might want to stop but you stroke his face and bring him back down showering him with kisses until your tongues are playfully rolling along and he seems to be reminded of how good it feels to be buried in your tight walls with you flexing and pulsing around him, so that when Helmut thrust back into him again you both moan together.

He pulls from your lips mouthing “Oh… fuck” with a stuttered breath and if he’d said it, it would have been a shout.

It’s enough to make you moan again beneath them and for a second you close your eyes just letting it happen to you instead of being a part of it until his tone changes and you think maybe its to much…

Helmut pulls the leash and brings Bucky up somewhere halfway between the two of you. “Are you all right?” He asks again reaching to turn Bucky’s face to profile, letting his lips brush his ear. Bucky flashes a breathy smile and nods reaching back, his cold fingers spreading across the top of Helmuts thigh. “Yes.” He manages.

Helmut smiles then, thrusting slowly up and in, laying his head on Bucky’s shoulder to make them moan together and the resulting slow return of Bucky's cock into you makes you join them.

Helmut lays a slow line of kisses across his neck, towards his shoulder, one hand curved over the black and gold, the other snaked around his waist and against his solid stomach as he controls himself, fucking him just a little faster now.

Bucky is as noisy as you are. He hisses when Helmut draws back, his fingers gripping harder on the top of the Baron’s thigh. Zemo unwraps the leash from around his hand and pushes Bucky back down wanting to see you both again.

You moan at the feel of him deeper inside of you, but look beyond Bucky to Helmut; he’s so beautiful with his brow furrowed as he fucks. He looks down at you, legs spread, pussy filled with another man’s cock. He loves it and reaches for you and you for him, your fingers finding one another to interlace. He looks deep into your eyes, his gaze fixed and he refuses to break the link between you even as he bluntly thrust into Bucky until any notion of his “first time” is completely destroyed. Bucky so perfectly becomes this submissive, moaning mess between you.

“Please,” He gasps, your fingers tracing his collar as he raises up “Please, I can’t hold back.”

Helmut just leans over him sighing against his back, holding him tight.

“It’s too much” Bucky says and you try not to moan but the weight of Helmut pushes Him into you and he feels so good.

“Do you want me to come?” Helmut asks sitting up.

“Yes” Bucky answers.”

“And would you like to come?”

“Yes. Please!” He pleads.

Helmut smiles at you, quickly taking your hand to kiss your fingers before letting go and grabbing Bucky’s waist to hold him down. He draws back and snaps his hips forward making the man truly cry out for the first time and you wrap your arms around his neck feeling yourself pulse. You try to hold back too.

Helmut moans deeply enough to get your attention but when you open your eyes and see the look on his face, you know it’s not over yet.

“Beg.” He demands

“Please.” Bucky says in your arms.

“Louder.”

“Please may I come.”

Helmut leans down, his cock drawing back and out, Bucky’s head raising as he does his mouth open looking anxious.

“Louder.” He shoves forward again driving into him which pushes him deeper into you and you press your forehead into his his chest as Bucky nearly cries into the pillow.

“Please Baron.” He actually begs. “Please, I can’t take it… I can’t take more.” And you can hear it in his voice, he’s not talking about the denial.

“Yes.” Zemo exhales in his ear. “Yes come.”

Bucky pushes up showing just a fraction of his strength, and you truly don’t know who is fucking who harder.

Someone has taken hold of your ankles, some else is pushing down on your knees. Bucky’s body flexes and he thrust deep, pushed further by Zemo. He moans through a clenched jaw going stiff before the pulse and warm rush which sends you over the edge with your own climax and you gasp as you cling to him wondering if you���ll always come together now.

The familiar sound of Helmut sighing loudly and breathing hard tells you that he’s only a second behind the two of you. You wish you could touch him…

Bucky is very still as it happens. You watch him openly accept Helmut’s warm ropes of come. You watch him feel exactly what you do right now, what you have countless times— that explosive finalization of being claimed by the man who dominates you so perfectly.

And when the heavy breathing slows, when everyone calms a bit, when you all start to ease back and away— it’s over.

“Bucky” You whisper.

He turns his head towards your voice and knows the tone. Its how you say his name when you’re worried. He smiles a little and leans down to kiss you lightly. Good. He’s not broken.

But maybe you are…

You can’t move, you don’t even want to try, you just wait until the layers of bodies fall away and the cool bedroom air hits your skin and slowly, scared to know what shape your lower half is in, you close your legs, feeling the deep ache in your hips. Your body is spent.

Time passes slowly before you move again and when you do, you prop yourself up onto your elbow somewhat surprised to find Helmut beside you and not Bucky. He’s on the other side lying on his stomach.

The blindfold is on the pillow and his eyes are open. His unfocused gaze seems a little shaken but at least he’s smiling.

“Did we hurt you?” He asks blinking and glancing up when he notices you staring.

Still the damn hero. After all that. “No Bucky.” You smile and roll your eyes laying back down, curling up beside the Baron who rubs your thigh. “You didn’t hurt me.”

You sigh deeply and let your mind go blank closing your eyes again, welcoming the calming silence.

**

“James” You hear from the edge of the bed.

You must have fallen asleep.

You think Bucky might have too, but you can’t tell. He looks down and Helmut motions for him.

He’s moving slow, rubbing his eyes, groaning as he twists onto his back, but Bucky does finally go and sit beside him.

Helmut motions for him to lower his head which he does and gently he unclips the leash and takes the collar from around his neck, pulling it free.

Bucky raises his head looking into those soft brown eyes for a while, the unspoken affection enough for a moment until he slowly folds into the Baron’s arms.

You turn onto your back wincing from all of your aches listening to their softly spoken words some of which are so low that you can’t make out exactly what they’re saying and that’s okay— but what you can hear is everything it should be.

“Not always.” Zemo is saying in answer to a question you missed. His arm is still around Bucky’s shoulders. “Whatever you want is what I’ll give you. You know my nature and I know yours but, never forget my many sides James.” He teases calling back to the earlier conversation.

Bucky sits up “I haven’t. And like I said. I want— well all of it— everything. You. Her.” He looks back over his shoulder and you smile at one another as he reaches back and strokes his hand down the curving arch of your foot.

Bucky looks back at Helmut and sighs. “I thought I knew how it would be… I had no idea.” He says still processing everything thats just happened.

Helmut looks at him and your heart aches with love as you’re sure his does. Bucky is the oldest person in the room with so much to learn. “It’s late, and if we keep on I’ll start getting emotional, I think Whitney Houston has a song about it and she’ll start fucking, dancing again” He tosses a nod in your direction like he just doesn’t know what to do with you.

You laugh from the pillows “Hey!”

“Go on,” Zemo says smiling “Get cleaned up and I’ll send her in after you.”

Bucky nods happily accepting a firm but quick kiss. “Yes Baron” He says with a hint of sarcasm. The submission is fading to the confines of the collar for now and Helmut watches him get up and walk away, with only the slightest change in his gait.

When he says your name you take Bucky’s place and bend your head letting Helmut remove your collar next. He unbuckles it and slides it off, dropping it to the bed; rubbing your neck, kissing where the buckle was. “Now lie back, let me see the rest” He says softly.

You don’t know what he means, but you do anyway.

Helmut bends over you and kisses the now dull, nearly forgotten marks left behind from the leash, but you still flinch. “I don’t mind when you dance, not in the least.” He confesses against your skin and you shut your eyes smiling. Oh. “You dance as much as you want to” He kisses the other leg tracing the fading lines towards your inner thigh. “When you want to and how you want to. So long as you know I’ll probably always find a reason to punish you” He says squeezing your hip, making you laugh. He pulls himself up coming closer and lets his chin rest on your stomach for a second. Helmut looks up at you and sighs rubbing your stomach with his hand flat. “You know that I love you? You— feel it?”

Your heart flutters with an unexpected rush of so many things. You know why he’s asking. A lot of this has been about Bucky, so now Zemo is checking in, making sure you still feel seen —Your dear, wonderful Baron.

You stroke his hair back lost in the clear brown gaze. “I need you to know, to always know.” He sits up sliding close along the edge of the bed so that he can look down at your face as a stream of Sokovian words tumble from his lips, his deep voice laying over your naked body like a blanket. “It’s clear this relationship involves three people and I may share my heart with him, but my love for you is no less. If anything I’m thankful to have a woman like you,” He pauses to lay his hand to your face, the heat of his palm against your cheek feels calming. “Someone capable of bringing the three of us together, no one else could have made this happen, just you.”

“Me?” You ask looking up at him leaning against his touch just a little more.

He nods “Yes, of course. Don’t be modest.” Helmut says stroking your cheek. “I may have loved him first, but you reminded me that it was safe to feel that way in the first place after everything… and to say the words out loud” You can see him thinking back, probably to the night you first declared your true feelings for him as only you would, and it makes him laugh softly. “I loved him first, but you were and are the one I need, so that I may love without fear.”

You feel that sunlight on your face, that warmth that only comes when Baron Zemo looks at you. Sometimes you feel like you will burn too bright from the heat of it; like a struck match. Sometimes you fear you will burn to ash…

You shut your eyes. Anything to break the spell.

He says your name softly and you open them a little embarrassed to find tears blurring your vision. Helmut wipes the stream that falls before you can stop them from falling down the side of your face with the back of his hand and bends to kiss you gently.

He pulls you up to sitting keeping you close.

“Thank you.” You say in his arms. He nods as he looks you over, like he’s looking to make sure you have no physical injuries he needs to care for and brushes a lash from your cheek before smoothing another tear with his thumb.

“No more tears. Go and get cleaned up, yes? You look tired, I was hard on you again."

You laugh hanging your head. “Both of us.”

He joins the laughter rubbing your back inhaling deeply through his teeth, the memories of tonight so good they hurt. “You don’t know; you have know no idea what it’s like to see the two of you…” You lean to the side to see his face clearly, “When you’re both beneath me, and you look small enough to break and he looks like a god” He smiles, a warm laugh mixed with a breath “And you’re both mine.” His smile fades into a look more serious. “And I am yours.”

You’re hopelessly in love with this man and lean in kissing him until you both feel the possibility of it becoming more which really should not physically happen, so you pull away.

“Go on.” He says tapping your leg. “Go and get clean and then come to bed.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll use the smaller bathroom across the hall”

”Okay, I’ll make sure Bucky’s okay too” You add and he smiles but looks up towards the door like he’s suddenly very worried “I’m sure he’s fine.”

You get up but stop and turn back to find him just sitting there looking off, lost in his thoughts. “Helmut?”

“Yes?” He looks at you, the shadows along his face making the sharp angles so pretty.

“Did you think you’d end up loving us both?” You ask and you can see that your question has surprised him.

He looks past you to the bathroom door again listening to the running water of the shower, then back at you for some time before finally answering. “I didn’t think I would give myself the chance.” He says and flashes a smile, the truth surprising even him. “Luckily I don’t always listen to the voices in my head.”

Authors Notes: I'm busy working on the final parts of this story as I've been learning how to work Tumblr thanks to the ever patient, ever wonderful, ever amazing @natbarnes1917 who is basically the best human alive and you should all go and read all of her stuff because it will make your day infinitely better. Thanks for your support and help bestie! and for encouraging me to never delete a single smut scene because why have one bj when you can have two!

[ink-livi]

Hi can i just take a sec to scream about how endearing my friends are and how fucking fond i am of them because FUCK bro

Hopefully none of them see this because I would never hear the end of it DDUWYEBFKEU

Just today has me all sorts of soft and thankful and im jut gonna list little things that just have me so ugensdhej rn

(Not using names just in case :D)

- today a coworker friend of mine bought me a monster and half a dozen donuts during his lunch just because he could and was in a good mood

- keep getting reminded of the matching bracelet my bestie (lol shed hate that im using that but i think its funny) got for me and how i absolutely refuse to take mine off until it falls off <33 it makes me so happy

- its some of my friends one year today and one of them sent me a snap of them in call being all cute and i just love seeing them happy and in love with each other ugh

- another one of them has made a habit of jumping into her vc in our group discord server to get ready in the mornings and put on music, and as soon as one of us joins to vibe with her she'll turn on her camera so we can watch her do her routine and hang out <33 she cant always talk but it's always fun to chill together regardless i love it

- said friend actually takes us along a lot and keaves us on call with the camera to chill and i genuinely love it so much every time its so sweet <333

- speaking of discord though!! In our group's discord we each have personal nicknames (that are constantly changing bc of each other), roles, and we each have our own "room" (text channel) and voice chat, all of which have choice names and I love it so so much its so cute and fun

- (the fact that on the server i have been given the permission to kick people but only that. sSDIWHNSD its so fucking funny we're constantly fighting for who gets what rights)

- that one time we all split up into our own voice chats and it looked like a high school cafeteria with cliques (i sat alone and got bullied in the vc text chat </3)

- the fact that one of our group made fanart of that, with her being all confused

- we are all degenerates and put quote chat is awful and holy shit i hope it never sees the light of day LMAO

God theres so much more but i just LOVE MY FRIENDS SO MUCH

And we're coming up on 3 years of all being together!!! Im losing my shit i just 😭😭💖💖

Always been a soft bitch

Also bonus accidental screenshot a friend took with great timing of me, with no context: