#Replace Chinese App

[karlachismylife]

i told myself i'll take a break in my failing attempts to write a couple things on Karlach x Soap in english and go back to writing a couple other things in my first language for the upcoming fandom combat deadline

so here's a thing i wrote instead and it's neither of those :D

Very much inspired by my precious friend that is obsessed with some datesim I know nothing about and talks my ear off about her sexy chinese dudes while I make her listen to me simping for my dead scottish ADHD meow meow. We don't know shit about each other's fandoms but we're so excited for each other... Also excuse me if this idea has already been done (I swear I thought of it on my own, but I will tag anyone who's done this before if you send me a link) + my English writing still sucks.

I also encourage you to check out these smaus, they're brilliant and I somewhat looked at them when wrote Kyle's text messages and this wonderful thing about Ghost and Animal Crossing that also inspired me to look into these silly military men and mobile/video games.

Task force 141 and their reaction to their S/O playing dating simulator games

CW: gn!civilian!reader (if I slipped into one or the other gender somewhere, please tell me & I'll correct), mostly fluff with a bit of spice, pet names, mild cursing, unserious jealousy and banter, long-distance (Gaz), describing nudes and mild sexting (Gaz), soft Ghost, mentioned spanking (Price), mild dom!Price, alluded reader recieveing fingerng and oral (Soap)

Word count: ~5k

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

That silly app you downloaded because its (very compelling) ads were repeatedly shoved in your face became surprisingly convenient when Gaz got deployed and wasn't within reach for weeks. A slightly clay-looking guy on your screen didn't hold up in comparison to the smoothest bastard sergeant with the tightest grip on your heart, but a cute feature with app notifications stylized as loving text messages from the virtual boyfriend somehow helped cope with the radio silence from Kyle. You knew he would be fine, how could he not? You gave him a very proper goodbye kiss (and goodbye sex that was a bit more improper) for luck, and he was too damn good at his job to fail. You weren't going insane from worry, at least not more than usually.

But the loneliness, the fucking loneliness was a little bit more bearable when you still got your "good morning beautiful xx" and "thinking about you before bed" even though the font was wacky and some phrases were clearly poorly google translated. To unlock these little snippets you opened the app every day, usually tapping mindlessly on all the required interactions before going to sleep and eyeing some of the ingame wardrobe options that wouldn't work too bad on your man. In fact, you even took a screenshot of a nice suit - if tailored right, Kyle would look in it sharper than the tactical knife he knew so well. You just needed an opportunity to show it to him.

And the opportunity barged in with a sudden surge of texts right when you were already getting ready for some shut-eye.

Three weeks of muffled unease wiped out and replaced with that never-tiring giddy feeling bubbling inside as soon as you saw Kyle's name pop up on top of your screen.

"hi baby"

"finally can text, miss you terribly 😘"

"what are you up to angel?"

You could feel your own cheeks strain with the stupid smile plastered on your face. No doubt, Kyle texted you at the first opportunity - he was there, he was okay and he missed you. All sleepiness in your body withered away, leaving you energized at eleven pm, squirming in your bed as you rolled over to start vigorously typing back. You never knew how much time you both have to chat, unstable signal or simply never-ending duty could interrupt you at any given moment, so you had to get your fill of premium class Garrick right there and then - no matter how drowsy it would make you the next morning.

Eventually you sent him the screenshot you took without second thoughts:

"btw thought you'd look good in smth like this baby, what do you think?"

Instead of a normal reply on the topic, though, you recieved an immediate jab followed by short pause:

"the fuck is that baby? 🤣"

"wait i think i know"

"replacing me with a vr boyfriend already? jesus fuck angel i haven't been away even for a month"

"i'm wounded, truly. he doesn't even look that good and can't spell correctly. what a downgrade 😔"

If only you could communicate the muscle-straining eyeroll you had through text. Chuckling and snorting, you immediately came to defence of your pixel prince charming, simply for the sake of it.

"how dare you. he's not a mere replacement, this is true love, garrick 💕🥰❤️✨"

"look at the top, we're already level 29 intimacy"

"gonna get him to send me nudes soon, they unlock at lvl 30"

Gaz could probably hear your bratty giggles on the other side of the globe, sheets rustling as you wiggled in your bed, absolutely proud of your impeccably fine-tuned wit and properly excited for the upcoming smartass comeback, since Kyle would rather die than let you have a win. But you've already calmed down with your cheeks mildly flushed, and the messages were still left on read.

Weird. It wasn't the first time your chatting ended abruptly, but usually Kyle had time at least to tell you he had to go - maybe even exchange little "ily"s. Did the signal cut off? But it was good enough for him to download a picture even, surely he'd notice if it started lagging and tell you. Did something bad happen? An emergency? An ambush?

A slight frown etched in your face as you started unwillingly thinking of the worst. Then - in a moment - that little green circle signaling Gaz was online came back. And still no answer.

Did he... get actually upset? Over a fucking datesim app?

It was hard to believe. Impossible, even. Kyle was never prone to jealosy fits, smug bastard definitely knew how secure you two were. But maybe... maybe it was the fact that you were seeking comfort he couldn't provide? Being told you needed a whole ass app simply to tell you goodnight while he was god knows where, unable to hold you and cuddle you to sleep - that could sting.

Shit, you shouldn't have started this. Gaz wouldn't outright admit he felt even the slightest bit insecure over an unblinking 3D monstrosity with a sexy Korean voice. He'd think it was stupid - and he would be right, frankly, but in this case this wasn't completely unreasonable.

Already anxious, you put your thumbs back on the phone to type out a careful question, but before you could even think of a right way to formulate it the chat chirped and loaded in a bunch of attachments.

Absolutely scandalous. Hastly unndone uniform, sweaty shirt pulled up and - you knew it even if it was outside the frame - clutched in his teeth, bared in a self-assured smirk, belt unbuckled and hanging from the loops of pants pulled down just a bit; just enough for his hand to slip inside and gather into a delicious grasp around the bulge you knew was straining against his boxers. Fucking tease, pulling the elastic band with his thumb to let you see just the base of his cock - you had to swipe several mouth-watering closeups on his chest, v-line beautifully adorned with dark hair and that bloody hand you already ached to feel on your thigh, before you finally got your reward. Hard just from the thought of you, tip glistening with the pre-cum he definitely smeared all over specifically for that picture.

"wanted to ask if your pixel bf can beat these"

"but i think your silence already says enough 😏"

You groaned, belly warm with the familiar longing. What an angel of a man, finding time to somehow snap packs of perfect nudes in the middle of wherever he was. Already turning over to slide your hand down your body, you sent a very sulking "hate you garrick. first made me worried and now horny, shameless bastard" and got an obligatory "sure you do. i'll fuck that attitude outta you as soon as i get back angel".

Somehow all the need in a virtual replacement vanished after this chat. Not only did Kyle text you more regularly - sensing a competition maybe, huh? - but you also got yourself enough material to be comforted before sleep. Sure, you'd rather have your man there in person, but no perfect-looking anime prince could offer a view better than Kyle's flexed arms or a cheeky sneak peek of his plump ass and a smooth back arch snapped over his shoulder.

No wonder you two threw yourselves at each other when Gaz finally showed up home, tired and a little roghed up, but very much alive and pent up for you. Once you were done relieving some of that frustration and cuddled up after a nice, hot shower, though, Kyle nipped your earlobe teasingly.

"No such level to unlock this experience, huh, angel? Something your app boytoy can't provide."

He caught your arm before you could elbow him playfully and grasped you tighter aroung your waist, using his free hand to get his phone and hold it in front of your face.

"Besides, I think he likes me more."

"How the fuck did you get to level sixty, Garrick?!"

Simon "Ghost" Riley

"Twilight was peaking how many years ago? And they still have this stupid choice everywhere."

Simon, the unmoving domestic shadow spread in a comfortable sitting position on your couch for the daily quiet together time, turned his head lazily and gently squeezed your thigh, careful not to disturb your legs thrown over his lap as he leaned a bit closer with a mildly interested "Hm?"

"It's this dating game. They're making me choose between a vampire and a werewolf. Can't think of another conflict for the last decade, really? Why not elves versus orcs? They never make stories about sexy orcs. But there's a market for it! Why stick to the same broken record all the time? Or, I don't know, invent beef between fairies and mermaids!" You huffed in exasperation, waving your phone in a vague gesture meant to express your disdain for the lack of creativity in the supernatural romance visual novels department. Ghost's usual intense stare boring into your face could mean anything - from him silently judging you for lacking respect for the culturally impactful vampries-werewolves feud to a wordless question whether you were in the sexy orc enjoyers market.

But when he finally spoke, scarred lips slightly curled upwards in a hint of an amused smile and eyebrows raised, he asked what seemed to catch his attention much more than what fantasy creature you would like to bang.

"A dating game?" His smirk became more prominent, eyes narrowing as an indicator of him looking for a way to quip in the most unbearable way possible. "What's all that about, love?"

The fact that he didn't know wasn't that surprising, you'd be much more astonished if Ghost did know what a dating simulator game was, but the need to explain still caught you off guard, forcing you to pause with the expressive phone gesturing and actually try and describe the phenomenon.

"Well, it's a mobile game, where you, like... have to play through a story with the main thing being befriending and romancing characters. It's mostly reading a story, really, but you get dialogue options to unlock special scenes with your chosen romantic interest or you can give them gifts..." A stolen glance at Simon told you that he was surprsingly paying attention. "But there's often a plot too. The one I started recently is about, well, vampires and werewolves... a Twilight ripoff, basically, but the player gets to be Bella." You paused, gauging his reaction, but other than his calloused fingers kneading the meat of your thigh Ghost didn't even move, leaving you to look at him with suspicion mixed with amusement. "Want me to show you?.."

Finally, his hand stopped its methodical massaging, only to pat your thigh approvingly and help you sit up, cozily snuggled up to the man whose hoodie you shamelessly stole just to wear around him. Wrapping his muscular arm around you, Ghost leaned his head against yours and prepared for the highly educational lecture on the world full of opportunities to get turned down because of having too low approval with the character.

You showed him the exact story that got you so riled up, explained the quite primitive mechanics behind gaining attraction points with the characters and rehashed the entire plot up to the point where you were stuck now - the one where it was obvious the game wanted you to pick a side. Simon listened carefully, gruff chuckles at some of your grumbling and a lot of very insightful commentary on each and every character ("that one's got Johnny's fucking mighty schnotz" and " 'course he's a fucking twat, look at his bloody necktie, a hemp one would be an improvement on 'im"), inculding your own avatar that you spent considerable time making to look like you wanted.

"That supposed to be you, love?" He didn't even try to mask the snarky tone, and you definitely prepared to be offended. You put so much thought into the character looks! So what if they didn't match your real ones fully? It's the game limitations, not your fault. "Hmph. Maybe good enough for these two muppets to fight over. But I reckon I like my version better. Comes with high-quality visuals."

His arm tightened around your shoulders, pulling you up for a short and sweet kiss, rough thumb stroking your jawline tenderly and pressing up under your chin when Ghost pulled away with a crooked smirk, shattered with scars into an artful mosaic.

"Trying to get your approval higher, sir?" You teased, eyes darting between his smiling - what a view, honestly - eyes and ready to be kissed again lips. His response was predictable. "It's working, innit, love? Think there's enough for a special bonus scene yet?"

Despite you clearly pretending to think and count his imaginary attraction points, Simon already started pulling you up into his lap, holding you securely and running his fingers along the curve of your back. "Might need a little more convincing, gamer. You didn't even bring a special gift to this date." Ghost's half-lidded eyes sparkled with hidden competitevness and his chest rumbled with a deep chuckle as he reached out to take your phone out of your hand softly.

"Gave you the hoodie. It counts." Ignoring your not very convincing protests ("It's mine already, of course it doesn't count!"), he tapped something on your screen and then put the phone away, wrapping his arms back around your form and slowly leaning into a tangled cuddlepile in an almost lying position. All your squirming successfully restrained with a bearhug, you huffed and placed your chin on Ghost's chest, looking up at him. He was there, with you, but deep in his gaze you noticed a certain swrling cloud of thoughts. Reading Simon's eyes was a must with him, he knew you could and didn't ever hide them from you.

"What are you thinking about?" You carefully inquired, running your hands over his shoulders and squeezing gently, a habit helping both of you to ease some tension. Simon blinked, tilting his head slightly, and let out a small sigh, seeking the right words. "You're not playing that game because I'm not doing enough, are you, lovie? 'Cos if you are, I'd rather you tell me what's wrong."

Always straight to the point. At least, when he finally decides to speak up. The big, scary dog worried about a silly mobile game as his competition? Cute. But the seriousness in his eyes called for a proper answer, not a teasing joke or a simple "aww, don't worry".

"You're doing more than enough, Simon, and you know it. It's a game, just living out my fantasies as the main character. But I can delete it if it makes you uncomfortable, it's no big deal, you know?" The tiniest bit of tension you felt underneath your fingertips disappeared, leaving Ghost sinking even further into the couch with you properly wrapped in his protective embrace.

"Nah, gorgeous, you keep playin' whatever shite you wanna be playin'. Just promise to keep me updated on the bloke so I can upstage him in every way." His voice got muffled since he buried his face in your chest, eyes closed peacefully and pure bliss written in all the relaxed features. Cradling his head, you hummed in agreement, but then perked up again.

"Wait, what bloke? You picked one of them for me?" - "Mhm." - "Oh come on, Simon, what happened to the freedom of choice!" You could feel his smile get more prominent despite being hidden in the softness of your chest covered with the thick hoodie material. "Which one did you choose? The vampire 'cause he's wearing all black?"

"Nuh-uh. The other one. The mutt."

You giggled at his choice of words and let out a quiet "oi" when Simon pinched you for disturbing his calm enjoyment of a "bonus scene" with the chosen romance option, that being you.

"Why? You're a Wolf Man fan or something?"

"'f course I am, love. He's British."

Captain John Price

When you saw the notification that the game you got sucked into with the active help of your friends got a "sound update", you knew what that meant - they finally added English voiceover lines for every single hunk of a man you had in your virtual harem, and you couldn't wait to hear what voices they gave your favourites. Given the nature of the game, you decided to put your earbuds on and started listening through the whole voicelines library, busying your hands with mundane tasks like folding laundry. John was sitting in the kitchen, fully immersed into his reading - potentially work-related. Or at least enthralling enough for him to miss your flushed cheeks or periodical giggling.

But no matter how important his reading was, what he couldn't miss was the sultry male voice coming out of your phone with a whispered "Wouldn't you love that, bunny?". Of course the parinig connection between your phone and the wireless earbuds had to get interrupted exactly when you were pouring yourself a cuppa and couldn't even drop the kettle in order to shush the suggestive purring of your digital fave.

You could feel Price staring at you. You could practically hear his bushy eyebrows slowly rising as he patiently waited for you to say something first. You were fully contemplating brewing yourself some poison instead of tea to avoid getting confronted by your man who just heard someone call you bunny on the phone.

So when you didn't start first, John, more amused than anything - he knew you too well to read through all your tiny microreactions and conclude that this wasn't hardcore evidence of an affair, but something much more suitable for future teasing (were you listening to porn or something? a naughty audiobook? oh so many golden opportunities to make you squirm under the steel gaze of the captain) - asked very nonchalantly: "What was that, darling?"

"What?" There was no point in pretending you didn't know what he's talking about, but you still tried. If anything, it allowed you to stall while you very hesitantly turned around and saw John and his smile, not even a hint of sterness in the round plumpness of bearded cheeks and little crow's feet in the corners of his eyes. "What was what, honey? You want some tea too?"

A futile attempt at deflecting and bribery rolled into one. You were lucky you were not his subordinate. You were unlucky the voice of some other man, dripping with mirth, came back into your ear once the next voiceline loaded in and the connection with your earbuds got restored. This was equal to admitting your crimes in front of the judges, but you slowly took your phone out of your pocket and hit pause.

"Does the tea come with an explnation who's the bloke whispering in your pretty ears, bunny? 'Cos if so, I'll take a cuppa, thank you very much."

He was beaming. Leaned back in his chair, knees wide apart and burly arms folded on his chest, Price wanted to have a wee little pause in his serious reading, and watching you squirm was the best distraction and brain-reloading he could ever get.

"I-it's not like that, I promise." Was that a bead of sweat running down your nape? John grunted, cocking an eyebrow and pushing his chin into his chest to stare at you from an angle that best conveyed that "I am not convinced, love" look. "It's just a little game, John, promise. Not a real man, just a made-up character."

Those piercing eyes narrowed even more, silently measuring you up for potentially bullshitting him, and then a heavy hand patted the broad thigh. An order, not an invitation (an order you could always disobey, though...)

"Show me."

Forgetting the option to disobey with little consequences, you hung your head down and dragged yourself and your fresh cuppa over to John, settling in his lap. The tea didn't even make it to the table, he snatched it from your fingers, careful enough not to spill, and sipped loudly, patting your side condescendingly. Any more stalling could result in various stages of burning buttocks, so you complied with the demand without Price repeating himself and opened the app, disconnecting your earbuds in the process.

He clearly wanted to hear that embarassing shit.

Your explanations of what a datesim was seemed to amuse John greatly - knowing his love for farming games, you made sure to mention all the best ones mixing the two genres, clearly trying to sweeten the deal.

"So wha', sum muppet in your phone callin' you bunny and you like 't? Maybe I should start too, huh?" You had to close your eyes to stop the internal screaming, and John's gruff chuckle hit your burning ear with a gentle puff. "But these, erm..." - "Companions." - "Riiight, these companions, they ain't whispering something... naughtier, are they?"

There was a hint of seriousness in his question, so you opened your eyes again and turned to look at him. His face was still smiling calmly, but the expectation was that of an honest and direct answer.

"Well, they do have more explicit scenarios and voicelines..." - "They talkin' dirty to you, eh? Guess I should step up my game." He flexed his jaw and leaned even closer, brushing his slightly chapped lips over the tender shell of your ear, soft beard tickling you and leaving you helpless. "Can't have my sweetheart wooed by sum app game fockers, can I? C'mere you little bunny, Imma show you sumthin' to hop on."

He stood up suddenly, lifting you with a soft grunt and dragging you away from the forgotten phone and empty cup. No amount of "John!" squeaked out could save you from that bear of a man groping your ass before throwing you onto bed and climbing on top. His weight squeezed the air out of your lungs as he roamed his big palmes all over your sweet body, even more enthusiastic about the impromptu break in his work.

"Ugh, fine, Johnathan Price, I won't be listening to the spicy dialogues! Just let me finish my-" Absolutely futile, your plea to get back to housework you had planned got cut short by a deep kiss, John's tongue sliding in your mouth as the most efficient (okay, maybe, second most) gag he could use on you. Your hands, previously pressed against his furry chest in an attempt to push him off, relaxed and buried themselves in his thick hair, ruffliing it and tugging him closer by the strands. A low grunt let you know what you already knew and felt much lower - John fully approved both that and your promise to keep away from the horny digital harem.

"Why even bother with 'em bloody games when you can 'ave the real thing, huh?"

John "Soap" MacTavish

"Whit are ye smiling at there, bonnie?"

Before you could even process the question and come up with any answer (excuse) about the silliest giddy smile that a cutscene in your chosen romance route got out of you, your massive - the only way to not be thrown off by Johny "Can't Sleep Still" MacTavish - bed creaked underneath the impressive weight of a fine Scottish specimen. Like a curious pup, Soap squeezed his head through the loop of your arm, earning himself a choking cuddle in the process, and stared into your screen.

"No, Johnny, piss off! It's personal!" You scrambled to turn your phone away from him and held it to your chest, a traitorous warmth in your cheeks threatening to give away what kind of personal it was. Of course, Soap caught on immediately, playful glint in his eyes as he simply yanked the phone out of your grip and turned over onto his back, shamelessly using you as a pillow while he unlocked your screen (why the fuck were you two so trusting and shared passwords!) and looked at the animated cutscene.

And why did it have to be the first spicy one you finally unlocked?

"What's tha'? Didnae peg ye fur a hentai type, bonnie." Soap watched the looped animation for a few more seconds while you wrestled against his heavy fucking carcass helplessly. With a single tap he closed the cutscene and let out an amused hum when met with the continuation of your unlocked chapter. "Och, so ye're reading smut too? Naughty."

You squirmed visciously, fighting for your dignity as he started reading aloud through the desciption of what didn't make the cutscene. The experience was downright horrible, humiliating and arousing at the same time as Johnny's thick brogue and mocking tone killed every ounce of spice in the steamy scene and somehow added new ones. Along with his stuttering. This lad... you even tried to grab his arm and chew on the meaty muscle in hopes of distracting him, but he didn't even flinch, simply pulling his limb out of your grasp and putting it behind his head comfortably. Outraging.

"Slender aristocratic fingers squeezing supple..." he smacked his lips so loudly that you groaned, "...flesh nae hard enough tae leave marks, but enough tae el... elicit pleasure, his breath hot in yer ear, whispering... Hauld yer horses- how come is yer name 'ere, bonnie? Who's writing this fur ye?" You nearly bounced off the bed when Soap suddenly sat up straight, relieving you from his (quite welcome, to be fair) burden, and frowned at your phone, scrolling through the erotc piece as if he could figure out who was the author just from reading it carefully enough. The pout he turned to you with was nothing short of absolutely heartbreaking. "Who's tha' "Laird Sebastian" prick writing a' kinds of nasty shite he wants tae dae tae ma' leannan? Am ah nae enough fur ye, bonnie? Dae ye wanntae leave me fur some posh bastard wi' a stick so far up his arse tha' it pokes outta his yapper?"

It was so obvious that Soap was just taking the piss, but his bottomless puppy eyes with the longest lashes fluttering as if on the verge of tears were working their dark magic, crashing your train of thought like a whole gang of outlaws from the Wild West and coercing you into making an apologetic expression and reaching your arms pleadingly for a hug. "Aw, come on, Johnny, it's just a-"

"Ah dinnae think tis a good idea, love. Ah dinnae have slender aristocratic fingers, wha' if a'm awful lot o' a commoner tae yer tastes..." Soap tilted his chin up, a perfect depiction of dignity suffering horrible offence, and turned away defiently, immediately peeking back at you from the corner of his twinkling blue eye. You knew those little smiling creases too well to miss them forming despite him holding a pout quite successfully, so you scoffed, still slightly flushed from being caught red-handed, and rolled your eyes, snuggling up to Johnny from behind and starting to kiss behind his ear.

"I'm so, so sorry, love of my life. No posh bastards come nowhere near you, you're my favourite commoner. Fuck Lord Sebastian-" You realized you chose the wrong wording when Soap couldn't hold back a snort. "Aye, well, seems lik' ye were planning on doing exactly tha-" - "Oh shut the fuck up, MacTavish!"

Shut the fuck up he did, turning back to face you abruptly and tackling you into the sheets, lavishing kisses with his searing hot lips all over your face. A real mutt pouncing the handler he has no respect and all the love for. There was no choice left for you other than wrap all your limbs around Soap and writhe underneath him, nearly missing that very inconspicuous way he reached his arm out and dropped your phone on the nightstand before cradling your head for much deeper, sloppier kisses.

"Gonna show tha' laird sod how tae fuck mah bonnie real good, aye? Mak' ye come wi' thae fingers right 'ere, nae aristocrat bullshit." Lapping up your neck with his wet tongue, Soap planted a greedy kiss right underneath your jaw and sucked at the soft skin until it showed a little pinkish hue. The bastard was set on making you sing for him, big rough palms grabbing handfuls of your flesh, squeezing and massaging while Johnny kept decending down your body with clear determination. "C'mon, leannan, let me hear ye. Say yer ol' Johnny's better than tha' bawbag Sebastian."

Sliding your hands over his broad shoulders, you held his nape before tugging on his slightly outgrown mohawk, your own head falling backwards in an exhausted yet adoring sigh.

"You know it's just a game, right, loverboy? A dating simulator, not a real thing? Oi, watch it!" A sharp gasp escaped your lips as Soap chomped on your side and immediately nuzzled into your stomach to blow raspberries into the soft plush, catching you once you started squirming and giggling. No intention of letting you catch your breath until he heard what he wanted. "Fine! Fine, Johnny, you are so, so much better than Lord Sebastian."

Satisfied, he loosened his grasp on you and lifted his head, grinning like he's just won you over from somene actually threatening in terms of romance. Hooked his fingers into your housewear bottoms, slowly tugged them down and started trailing hot-mouthed kisses down from your solar plexus, sky blue eyes glazing over with the never-satiated hunger for your taste on his greedy tongue.

You held your breath. A joke was itching inside your mouth, begging to be let out, dancing on the tip of your tongue...

"You're lucky I didn't choose Duke Aaron's route. That's some serious competion."

"Och, away 'n bile yer heid, bonnie!"

Thank you for reading! I appreciate all interactions, likes, reblogs, comments and requests (send in anything for now! I can filter them myself, but I am open to smut, including rare kinks and some dark themes. Keep in mind though that I am limited by my skill & overall prefer sugary fluff. I will write for any of the task force 141 and baldur's gate characters, including parings, poly, x reader and x OC), I will write drabbles, headcanons and whatever else formats you can think of.

Also any corrections are welcome as long as you're not being mean! Thank you <3

[lefluoritesys]

A breakdown of apps you can use to communicate with your alters as separate people and write down information about them online and offline with their pros, cons, and a personal rating because I really needed it when I was new to being a system:

Note: by "PC" I mean any computer/macbook/etc. By "all devices" I mean PC, mobile, tablet, iPad, etc.

I apologize for mistakes in advance.

1. Antar: An app created to chat with your "inner self," found in both Play Store and AppStore. One of the more popular ones among systems. It is an app where you get to create personas that would be chatting with each other in chats called "sessions." Those sessions can either be given a name or just left named after the date they were created on. Each persona is given a color that would become the color of their messages in sessions. Offline app.

Pros: Fiarly easy to use, no in-depth information needed to access it fully. Biometric lock; 4 languages (English, Chinese, Hindi, Spanish) for the system, however any language can be used via text; no limit to the amount of personas added (as far as I'm aware). Messages sent by the wrong persona can be changed; the "quote" feature allows you to start a thread under a message; provides descriptions of each persona. You can also give your personas an avatar rather than just a color. Has a "replay" and "visualization" feature, though I'd say it's strictly just for funzies.

Cons: Not available on PC; has no backup, phone-related resets or deletion of the app results in all information lost. Session order constantly changes depending on which senssion you entered, which in my opinion (+OCD) is a nuisance; you can't delete the "me" character which I've been wanting to do for a while. Can't add hexcodes.

Personal rating: 6/10. If you need an app that you can lock from unwanted visitors, if you don't mind and even prefer something simple, and if you don't care that the conversations might disappear, this app is a good choice.

2. Discord's PluralKit: A more avdanced discord bot with tons of settings and commands that was created specifically for systems. Allows you to add almost any information about your system memebers, even such things as birthdays. The way it works is, it "proxies" your messages with a certain command somewhere in the "normal" message, sends a message identical to yours from a bot created with the name you chose, and deletes your original message. Basically replaces a message from your account with a message from a bot you created earlier. Proxies are small commands that give the both a green light to do that, and they can be whatever you want them to be. Online bot.

Pros: Feels like different people are talking; allows you to track your switches; available on all devices; one system can be linked to multiple accounts, although you can't create multiple systems under one account; allows you to group alters together; allows you to restrict access to certain information from all users; allows you to add as many alters as you want; has a number of ways you can access the information you put in which would all be sorted and organized for you; autoproxy allows you to not proxy every message you sent; since you can't delete messages of other people on servers that are not yours, and the bot messages are not, in fact, yours, PluralKit allows you to react to the message with an emoji that deletes the proxied message; while you can't use it in DMs, you can set up commands in DMs with the bot; every memeber has a unique code, and so does the system itself, and it records when the member was created; can be exported to SimplyPlural.

Cons: Commands are difficult and complex, and so is the dashboard; can only be used on servers; sometimes offline as all bots are, though rarely; you can't use it anywhere outside discord (a con for those who don't use discord); I had instances where I saw people use it for roleplay which is also allowed; proxies are a pain; you'd need a guide to tell you why certain things are needed in it; you cannot reply to messages with gifs when using a proxy; when being exported to SimplyPlural it exports everything, so if you had 10 members on SimplyPlural and 15 on PluralKit, it's best to add those 5 manually than delete 10 new exported alters (I did it with 100+ alters by accident and it was a pain).

Personal rating: 9/10. Complex, difficult to figure out, but once you get ahold of it and how it works, you'd be amazed. Also a pain that you can't use it in DMs, but it's to be expected from a bot. And you can always create a server with just you.

3. Discord's Tupperbox: A discord bot created mainly for roleplay, but actively used by systems who cannot get along with PluralKit. A simpler bot, easy to use and figure out, most things can be done via dashboard, doesn't have the opportunity to add a lot of inofrmation. Online bot.

Pros: Simple; allows grouping alters; allows different tags for different members and groups, sometimes individually; way simpler commands, and most things can be added via dashboard; looks and works almost the same as PluralKit when in a conversation; available on all devices.

Cons: Can't add avatars via dashboard, only using the commands; can't add two alters with the same name (which you can do with PluralKit); people reported it glitching out and deleting members; mainly used for roleplay; gives a weird list of members via commands that is unusable in my experience; doesn't work out of discord.

Personal rating: 7/10. Perfect for people who just want to talk and not write down information about them with the bot, but the threat of members being deleted, especially as a larger system, is concerning. We mainly use it for OSDD-1a subsystems. It was also not created for systems, as far as I'm aware. I see more cons than pros.

4. Simply Plural: Another more well-known tool used and created for systems. Simply Plural is an app that allows you to create profiles of your members and add any information you'd like about them via custom fields. It has a chat feature, allows you to track your front and switch history, add friends, and many more. Supports endogenic systems (which is being mentioned not for discorse purposes but as a fact. Whether you find it good or not is up to you) and allows singlets to create profiles as well, although I don't know a lot about that part. Both offline and online app.

Pros (and a bit about the app): Backup included; tracks your switches and front, allows you to change exact time for them, too (24-hour clock down to minutes included); the polls feature works like polls on same Tumblr and everywhere else but specifically for your system memebrs; analytics provide information about who fronts the most, during what time of day they usually front; you and your friends can see each other's profiles, which is why singlets can also create profiles, which allows you to acces info about each other's systems; "trusted people" feature allows you to pick whether you want everybody to see your alters or not, or if you want outsiders to see your profile at all; provides resources and guides to plurality (which I personally haven't checked, but still putting it in the pros, if somebody thinks I shouldn't, let me know); has an app reminders feature; you can add as much information as you want; front history shows up in a person's profile; alters can add notes; alter groups are available; available on all devices, however, only as a website on PC; colors of your alters can be used in the chat to highlight names; hexcodes are available; "custom front" is a status you set with fronting which can be hilarious sometimes; connects to PluralKit in a number of ways.

Cons: The chat feature is a bit difficult to use, and first time I did, I freaked out because I couldn't get out of it (the trick is to go to "channels" and press "navigation", there you'll see the dashboard); friends can't communicate with each other; copy-pasting is hard on both mobile and PC; something about the interface and navigation irks me and our visually impaired self; notes have same visibility as the profile itself, which is inconvenient if you want your profile to be seen but not your notes; avatars can't be added via website.

Personal rating: 6/10. I don't like how it looks and works (probably due to being visually impaired and other issues), but if you manage to get the information in it, it's pretty accessible and thoughtful of what systems might need. Could be used as a tool to start working with your system rather than do it long-term.

5. Twinote: An app that is your "personal Twitter." Pretty sure it was created for the purpose of having fun rather communicating with alters. Offline app.

Pros: Backup provided; allows "private accounts" that other "users" can't see; can create as many users as you want, as many posts as you want; can upload up to 4 images; works almost like Twitter; has a chat feature; comments, retweets, likes are present; "lists" feature allows you to group users and see only their messages which could be used for "things only protectors sent" and such; storage shows all pictures used in the app, so you won't lose anything; tagging and following people is still an option, and following private accounts give that user an opportunity to be the only one seeing their tweets.

Cons: Can't upload videos; can't do much with anything other than posts and profiles, so trends and other stuff there is off-limits (as far as I know); you have to constantly switch between profiles for the chat feature; share button only shares the contents of the message; very easy to accidentally press the wrong button and delete a tweet by dragging it left (which I almost did a few times).

Personal rating: 7,5/10. I know it's probably annoying that I didn't just type either 7 or 8, but the reaosn why is cause I have mixed feelings about it from a practical point of view. We use it strictly to communicate what we did during the day as a small journal and just joke with each other, and it's incredibly funny in itself, but it doesn't allow you to write down a lot of information about your alters and has a character limit in profiles. So it's strictly for communication.

6. Notion: An app created as a dashboard for literally everything you could ever dream of. You can personalize it however you want and use it for whatever you want. Those who saw the post we made a while ago probably know the reason I'm mentioning it is due to a template that I linked here. Online app.

Pros: Can be used for literally everything without limits; available on all devices; big and has enough storage for a lot of information, text, projects, etc; can be designed however you want; a lot of useful templates for all life instances (even taxes); can be shared with people who also use Notion in a variety of ways (either only comment, only see, etc); can add your own custom covers and icons via both gallery and links; looks neat and doesn't mess with visual impairment for us; can add a page in a page in a page which can be used for diaries; links to different pages on other pages are also available; endless possibilities, I could rant all day.

Cons: Glitches on the phone a lot; certain things are allowed on computer and not on mobile and vice versa; all templates available only on PC; you need to have an account in order to use it; glitches if it's offline; sometimes deletes a bunch of text because of glitches, usually the triggers for it are writing a lot in it directly or erasing previous text a bunch of times; can't invite someone in your space, it would take too much storage; some storage needs to be bought, although, I don't know the limit (but there's a lot. Like, a lot)

Personal rating: 9/10. With all its antics, I love this app dearly, it's incredibly useful, and you learn to deal with the cons. It's the best one I've used for communication and information storage so far.

7. Texting Stories app: As ridiculous as it sounds, it could be used as a tool to communicate with your alters, especially in secret. We are fighting for our safety here, so I ask you to take this suggestion seriously. Could be used when you don't want to let anyone know you're a system and have noisy family members/relatives/etc who like to snoop through you personal devices, by using it, you can say you've just been doing a story. Offline app.

Pros: I believe you can add as many people as you want; can add avatars; different stories can be different days of the week; easy to use; easy to brush off as "just making stories."

Cons: Can't change colors, you need to pay for most things.

Personal rating: 5/10. Can be used for emergencies and communication only, although we haven't used it much.

8. Notes: Just the same plain old notes app on your phone that everybody has installed as default. Offline app.

Pros: Easy to use; can be easily lost within your other notes for privacy; used for literally everything you desire, even drawing; automatic backup.

Cons: Doesn't give you the ability to really present as separate people; doesn't have as many options as Notion.

Personal rating: 5/10. used it at some point just for communication, was cool, somple, easy, but nothing too big.

I hope this helped to put these apps in perspective. I do apologize for it being a bit all over the place, but I did attempt to make it coherent enough (I am currently in a psychotic state, it's difficult for me to communicate). And remember, there are always options to use a written journal rather than a digital one. If anything, it's better to keep both in case one gets lost. Who knows, maybe our parents asking us what we would do if the internet disappeared is actually a warning. /j /nm

-host

[mushimatsu]

I found the full versions of the job apps from this post! This was a collab with the restaurant chain Sukiya, so that's where the job app is for! Pictures from this blog post here!

Translation under the cut

Osomatsu:

Academic background/work experience (include relevant experience):

(dates left blank) NEET, factory job, Chinese food restaurant, etc Anyway I have experience with a lotta stuff! And more

About yourself:

Gyuudon! I can eat a lot of it! Beer! (something crossed out) I can drink a lot of it! 

Hobbies/Skills:

Horse racing, pachinko, all kinds of gambling!

Reason for your application:

Because I think I could eat a lot of gyuudon. And because I think a pork bowl made with a brand new model of charcoal grill would be tasty! 

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (he left this blank and just put an x through Monday, Saturday, and Sunday)

Other requests:

I’d like to immediately take off days where a machine is being replaced, store remodeling days, and horse race days! 

What days would you prefer to work?: (left blank)

How many hours would you like to work a day?: (left blank) How long can you work for?: (left blank)

Karamatsu:

(in the furigana section where you're supposed to write the pronunciation of your name he wrote it in English instead of hiragana)

Phone Number: Secret (it's so important to tell you that he wrote "secret" as the English word in katakana, and not the Japanese word for secret)

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Theater Completed curriculum at Hybrid Oden cart (Hybrid misspelled as Hybrit) And more

About yourself:

When I take the stage called Sukiya... After that... Who knows...

(sorry if this is incorrect idk how the fuck to translate what he said. hate his ass /j)

Hobbies/Skills:

I can sing while playing guitar, and more...

Reason for your application:

Gyuudon, butadon, curry... Because your menu calls to me...

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

I'm not tied down to anyone...

What days would you prefer to work?:

What a foolish question...

How many hours would you like to work a day?:

I'm not tied down to any time...

How long can you work for?:

How many times do I have to tell you...

Choromatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Totoko-chan's manager Worked at father's friend's company And more

About yourself:

Personally, I would benefit from your company's management policy, so I think I can achieve results while working remotely. The other day, all my brothers caught a cold, but I was busy making content as a small influencer!*

Hobbies/Skills:

Kanji certification level 6, English certification level 6. Thank you very much.

Reason for your application:

Sukiya would benefit from an entrepreneur and marketing and advertising specialist with a concise plan to make KPIs a priority activity. Boosting conversions** can create solutions for Sukiya through engagement. Gyuudon benefits will surely create profit. Assign buffers and launch. Thank you very much.* ** like click through rate

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

Frankly, a pension plan is a must, with a minimum of 200,000 yen fixed and committed per month. Thank you very much.

What days would you prefer to work?:

I will send you the agenda for today's activities afterwards. Thank you very much.

How many hours would you like to work a day?: (left blank)

How long can you work for?: (left blank)

*(struggled so much with him and his business buzzwords if anyone has corrections please tell me)

Ichimatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Honored Squad Leader for Life at Factory Worked at Cat Cafe, as a cat And more

About yourself:

I want to gather some cats at the restaurant, but not like it would be a cat cafe, and make a "Cat Sukiya"...

Hobbies/Skills:

Cat certification level 2

Reason for your application:

I want to surround the restaurant with a lot of cats.

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

How many cats am I allowed to bring to the restaurant?

What days would you prefer to work?:

No particular preference

How many hours would you like to work a day?:

No particular preference

How long can you work for?:

As long as there's cats

Jyushimatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

PRACTICE SWINGS

About yourself:

78 METER THROW

Hobbies/Skills:

BASEBALL

Reason for your application:

I WANT TO EAT LOTS OF GYUUDON!

(All the questions about when you're available to work):

I WANT TO EAT GYUUDON EVERY DAY!!

Todomatsu:

Academic Background/Work Experience:

Currently attending a very prestigious college Part time job at a trendy coffee shop And more

About yourself:

My brothers are all stupid, so I'm the best choice <3

Hobbies/Skills:

English and Japanese certified

Reason for your application:

The new menu item avocado gyuudon is my favorite, so you're going to release it, right? That is to say, you'll hire me, right? Right? Thanks <3

Working hours (for example 9 ~ 17): (left blank)

Other requests:

Rather than just beer, I want to sell kalua milk and cassis orange too ⭐

What days would you prefer to work?: (left blank)

How many hours would you like to work a day?: (left blank)

How long can you work for?:

Depends on if the customers are cute girls <3

thank you @totmatsu for ur help

[punkeropercyjackson]

The thing about Jason is that he IS a feminist and racially inclusive character but because he treats the women and poc in his stories well,not because he's 'female-coded' or a substitute for canon poc.Now i do support transfem readings of Jason or Lina as i like to call her and consider him canonically afrolatino but that's because i love trans women fictional and real and am afrolatino myself so Jason reads as afrolatino to me from personal experience.And a big part of the latter is the diversity of his cast!!

His adoptive mom is an arab-chinese woman,his love interests are a wasian/half cambodian woman an egyptian woman and a darkskin black woman,his brothers he gets along with are that mom's bioson and his eldest brother on his dad's side who's romani and the remaining brother he's on good terms with is THE FIRST EVER BLACK ROBIN who is also the ONLY one he's always liked and been nice to and the only white character he actively likes is also a girl and has a completely platonic relathionship with him.This along with Jason's personality and other individual traits is why i have such a black view of him,because he feels afrolatino to me

That's what gets me about fanon Jason being claimed as a minority!!!Canon Jason actually works as one with a design update only but it CAN'T be just him!That's not representation or good writing!Instead of Talia bashing or some random ass white woman replacing her,she should have her pre-Morrison history employed and act like a typical brown/asian mom in a positive relatable and accurate way.Instead of sweeping Jason's girls under the rug for BEING girls and acting like it's not misogynistic because you're shipping him with Roy as if og Rhato dosen't have racialized misogyny fused into it's formula,explore their romantic dynamics with him and how they diffenterate and have in common and fucking care about Rose,Artemis and Dana as their own characters too as they're much,MUCH more than just 'DC's failed attempts to make Jason straight'.Instead of infantilizing Dick and animalizing Damian,make Dick Jason's cool reliable older brother he was close to as Robin but never mollycoddles him as Red Hood which JASON dosen't want as seen by his dislike of Roy and give him and Damian equal respect if not Damian way more since he's done way less bad fore more understandable reasons.Instead of lying about their age difference,aknowledge that Stephanie in current canon is 19 at the oldest while Jason is 23 at the youngest and in pre-reboot he was 19 when she was in high school and very specifically NOT a senior so yeah,it IS a minor x adult ship in almost every scenario they meet in the ship content

And for fuck's sake,STOP LEAVING OUT DUKE!!!!!!!The blue eyes Batkids rule isn't real,it's never been brought up in canon or joked about in official sources,it's segretation y'all made up!'Honorary Batkid' my ass,he's so literally Robin-coded the writers gave him light powers and 'The Signal' as his mantle!You know NOTHING about superheroes if you actually think Duke's not a core Robin,a Batboy AND a Batkid-Or if you think Jason's supposed to be a normie,a power fantasy or an abuser!He's a tragedy and commentary and an adventure and a comedy and same goes for Talia,Rose,Artemis,Dana,Dick,Damian,Duke AND Stephanie!Jason wouldn't wanna be Jason without them and they also do NOT exist just for him because they're his loved ones,not his tokens!Y'all want Jason Todd?Ight,then you want the Red Hood cast too because they're a package deal.You don't?Then keep that shit to yourself and invest in a dating app since you clearly can't write anything except white ass porn

[ruhua-langblr]

how does duolingo suck?

I'm going to assume this is a genuine question in good faith!

In general, I do not think that DL is effective for achieving linguistic fluency. However, fluency is not everything and is not everyone's end goal! It can be a great introduction to many languages and get people fired up about starting to learn a new language—all which are good things. Before I address the recent problematic changes to the app that make it "suck", I want to be clear that even before it really wasn't that great. It had a good UI, constant expansion, and a very enthusiastic marketing team, but none of those are really important to actual language learning. Outside of popular European languages (Spanish/French/German) the quality is incredibly hit or miss. When I started learning Chinese I checked out DL and it was just not good! It's pretty common knowledge that DL is not good for learning non-latin based languages. Not to mention that the levels in those languages do not get you far. I was able to do speed runs of the Chinese course for fun early on in learning Chinese because it tops out at about HSK 3. (If you're unfamiliar with the HSK system, real Chinese "fluency" is HSK 6+ depending on if you're going by HSK 3.0 or not.)

The reason the post I made took off now is a combination of profit-driven decisions made by DL in the past year, culminating with laying off actual translators—a field I happen to be in!

The major decisions I'm referring to above are the following:

The "pausing" of the Welsh course and ending the partnership with the Welsh government. The National Centre for Learning Welsh did wish to continue the partnership, stating "Should Duolingo change its policy the centre would be happy to help with the work of developing the Welsh course,". Languages that offer business partnerships, like High Valyrian, don't get paused.

Removal of Forums and Sentence Discussions. Because DL never truly "teaches" you grammar, you are expected to pick it up from pattern association and repetition. This would work fine if languages weren't complex and notorious for having exceptions. These spaces were places for people to better understand the language, but that's not a profitable thing! It's more profitable to charge people to have an AI "explain" a sentence. Also people liked DL for the community aspects! Native speakers could answer your questions and you could joke about how wacky a sentence was.

Final nail in the coffin:

Pivot to AI and laying off translators. For the record, I don't think AI is innately evil. I think in moderation it can be helpful and if an app's upgraded tier is just AI chat then whatever. However, as a translator, I can tell you that it just doesn't work well. Having done post-editing of AI translations, it just sucks. It makes mistakes humans would never make and trying to unravel them is a pain. When I edit a human's translation, I can figure out what they were thinking and how they got it from the text. AI translations frequently just... skip parts that don't make sense to it. DL had already integrated AI into the app on a premium content basis, but now it's fully hit users that never asked for it. I've seen a lot of people talking about how their language is having mistakes now. People want to use DL to learn a language, and if the app is teaching them the language wrong that is a huge problem. It is unlikely that DL will be satisfied with this, but rather continue to replace as much of its workforce as possible with AI.

In short: Duolingo's first priority is bringing profits and shiny objects like AI to dangle in front of its shareholders. That is what makes Duolingo suck.

[don-dake]

On paper dictionaries & 那些年…

Was reminiscing recently with my cuz about old school days and Mandarin classes in particular, which led me to dig up and check out my old-school *Mandarin-Chinese dictionary again.

「字体大，方便阅读。」 ～ “large font, for easy reading.”

Not large enough now, sometimes, unfortunately! (囧)

The only major downside, now that I'm older and my eyesight has gotten even worse, is the inability to enlarge font size in a paper book. Otherwise, there's still much to love about my old-school paper dict.! ｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡

I actually had a much older and rattier one that got lost near the end of my official Mandarin education. So I had this as a replacement — that's why it still looks fairly new (笑), because I didn't have time to “season” it enough before I stopped studying Mandarin for a long time after.

In this Internet and App-centric age, physical dictionaries are probably near irrelevancy now. But with 漢字 (written Chinese — a system that relies heavily on knowing radicals and stroke order recall), I think it's still good/nice, every once in a while, to remember how to look up characters the old-fashioned way!

There's something so satisfying about going through the list of radicals, matching them with the stroke count, flipping pages determinedly and finally getting the page on which the (unknown-by-phonetics) character you're looking for is (assuming you're not pressed for time that is!), like you're some kind of code-breaker! (笑) I think using this method may even help with remembering characters better too!

Part of it may just be due to aging and having a poorer memory but, I strongly believe that getting too easy and quick access to info nowadays has actually affected my brain's ability to concentrate and retain new knowledge.

Where speed and ease is gained, somehow along the way, something vital to how the human brain's long-term memory used to function is lost in this age of Too. Much. (Quick) Info.

Does anyone else find this is so too? That easier and quicker may not necessarily be a good thing?

Who here (still) uses an old-school 漢字 paper dictionary (from time to time)? Or is the majority here too young to even remember/know how to use such things? (笑)

****************************************

* I use “Mandarin-Chinese” here to make a distinction because there are Cantonese-centric (and possibly other topolects too — though I've yet to see any) dictionaries around that don't use Pinyin Romanisation for indexing characters.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Adobe steals your color

When a company breaks a product you rely on — wrecking decades of work — it’s natural to feel fury. Companies know this, so they try to deflect your rage by blaming their suppliers. Sometimes, it’s suppliers who are at fault — but other times, there is plenty of blame to go around.

For example, when Apple deleted all the working VPNs from its Chinese App Store and backdoored its Chinese cloud servers, it blamed the Chinese government. But the Chinese state knew that Apple had locked its devices so that its Chinese customers couldn’t install third-party apps.

That meant that an order to remove working VPNs and apps that used offshore clouds from the App Store would lock Apple customers into Chinese state surveillance. The order to block privacy tools was a completely foreseeable consequence of Apple’s locked-down “ecosystem.”

https://locusmag.com/2021/01/cory-doctorow-neofeudalism-and-the-digital-manor/

In 2013, Adobe started to shift its customers to the cloud, replacing apps like Photoshop and Illustrator with “Software as a Service” (“SaaS”) versions that you would have to pay rent on, every month, month after month, forever. It’s not hard to understand why this was an attractive proposition for Adobe!

Adobe, of course, billed its SaaS system as good for its customers — rather than paying thousands of dollars for its software up front, you could pay a few dollars (anywhere from $10-$50) every month instead. Eventually, of course, you’d end up paying more, assuming these were your professional tools, which you expected to use for the rest of your life.

For people who work in prepress, a key part of their Adobe tools is integration with Pantone. Pantone is a system for specifying color-matching. A Pantone number corresponds to a specific tint that’s either made by mixing the four standard print colors (cyan, magenta, yellow and black, AKA “CMYK”), or by applying a “spot” color. Spot colors are added to print jobs after the normal CMYK passes — if you want a stripe of metallic gold or a blob of hot pink, you specify its Pantone number and the printer loads up a separate ink and runs your media through its printer one more time.

Pantone wants to license this system out, so it needs some kind of copyrightable element. There aren’t many of these in the Pantone system! There’s the trademark, but that’s a very thin barrier. Trademark has a broad “nominative use” exception: it’s not a trademark violation to say, “Pantone 448C corresponds to the hex color #4a412a.”

Perhaps there’s a copyright? Well yes, there’s a “thin” database copyright on the Pantone values and their ink equivalents. Anyone selling a RIP or printer that translates Pantone numbers to inks almost certainly has to license Pantone’s copyright there. And if you wanted to make an image-editing program that conveyed the ink data to a printer, you’d best take a license.

All of this is suddenly relevant because it appears that things have broken down between Adobe and Pantone. Rather than getting Pantone support bundled in with your Adobe apps, you must now pay $21/month for a Pantone plugin.

https://twitter.com/funwithstuff/status/1585850262656143360

Remember, Adobe’s apps have moved to the cloud. Any change that Adobe makes in its central servers ripples out to every Adobe user in the world instantaneously. If Adobe makes a change to its apps that you don’t like, you can’t just run an older version. SaaS vendors like to boast that with cloud-based apps, “you’re always running the latest version!”

The next version of Adobe’s apps will require you to pay that $21/month Pantone fee, or any Pantone-defined colors in your images will render as black. That’s true whether you created the file last week or 20 years ago.

Doubtless, Adobe will blame Pantone for this, and it’s true that Pantone’s greed is the root cause here. But this is an utterly foreseeable result of Adobe’s SaaS strategy. If Adobe’s customers were all running their apps locally, a move like this on Pantone’s part would simply cause every affected customer to run older versions of Adobe apps. Adobe wouldn’t be able to sell any upgrades and Pantone wouldn’t get any license fees.

But because Adobe is in the cloud, its customers don’t have that option. Adobe doesn’t have to have its users’ backs because if it caves to Pantone, users will still have to rent its software every month, and because that is the “latest version,” those users will also have to rent the Pantone plugin every month — forever.

What’s more, while there may not be any licensable copyright in a file that simply says, “Color this pixel with Pantone 448C” (provided the program doesn’t contain ink-mix descriptions), Adobe’s other products — its RIPs and Postscript engines — do depend on licensable elements of Pantone, so the company can’t afford to tell Pantone to go pound sand.

Like the Chinese government coming after Apple because they knew that any change that Apple made to its service would override its customers’ choices, Pantone came after Adobe because they knew that SaaS insulated Adobe from its customers’ wrath.

Adobe customers can’t even switch to its main rival, Figma. Adobe’s just dropped $20b to acquire that company and ensure that its customers can’t punish it for selling out by changing vendors.

Pantone started out as a tech company: a way to reliably specify ink mixes in different prepress houses and print shops. Today, it’s an “IP” company, where “IP” means “any law or policy that allows me to control the conduct of my customers, critics or competitors.”

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

That’s likewise true of Adobe. The move to SaaS is best understood as a means to exert control over Adobe’s customers and competitors. Combined with anti-competitive killer acquisitions that gobble up any rival that manages to escape this control, and you have a hostage situation that other IP companies like Pantone can exploit.

A decade or so ago, Ginger Coons created Open Colour Standard, an attempt to make an interoperable alternative to Pantone. Alas, it seems dormant today:

http://adaptstudio.ca/ocs/

Owning colors is a terrible idea and technically, it’s not possible to do so. Neither UPS Brown nor John Deere Green are “owned” in any meaningful sense, but the companies certainly want you to believe that they are. Inspired by them and Pantone, people with IP brain-worms keep trying to turn colors into property:

https://onezero.medium.com/crypto-copyright-bdf24f48bf99

The law is clear that colors aren’t property, but by combining SaaS, copyright, trademark, and other tech and policies, it is becoming increasingly likely that some corporation will stealing the colors out from under our very eyes.

[Image ID: A Pantone swatchbook; it slowly fades to grey, then to black.]

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730161592705187840/httpswwwtumblrcomolderthannetfic729901451899?source=share

Lol I love that your horror is over the Duolingo because that realyly is the worst part. The app is absolutely garbage for learning a language that uses a different alphabet because the way they teach those characters is just completely un-intuitive, doesn't follow any established order, and just slips right out of your brain. And all the more true if it's a language that uses Chinese characters. I speak Japanese and I sometimes use the app to brush up on my kanji (though it was really irritating to have to get through all the basic ones before I could zero in on the ones I actually needed refreshers on) and it's not bad for that, even if some of the stroke orders are really strange. But I cannot imagine using it to learn that or even hiragana/katakana from scratch. Acting smug toward a person with an actual Ph.D. in a subject who probably learned the language in a classroom or immersion or other way you'd actually remember is just.... really something

--

Duolingo has replaced Rosetta Stone at the top of my hate list for much the same reasons I despised the latter years ago: They're ubiquitous and super popular because they spend the most on advertising, but they're shockingly weak for some languages and a lot of beginners don't realize.

I'm still working my way through iKnow's core 6k Japanese vocab memorization exercises at which point I'll check out the rest of the features and their Mandarin course and start with Lingodeer for Mandarin, Korean, and Japanese.

None of the above impress me for characters though. I've only seen traditional books and dedicated apps that I thought were really solid.

[murfeelee]

MDZS INSP Set Pt1

This is the very first batch of uploads from my TS3 gameplay inspired by Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed!

EA Books Default Replacement

First up is yet another EA Book Default Replacement, this time using Chinese & Japanese themed book textures. Browse here & here for the swatches/in-game pics. The list of replacements is under the cut.

File Dump Part 1

This file dump includes 18 Buy Mode objects:

EA Chinese Tomb Chest as Toy Chest (basegame)

Silfantasy Chinese Sword as Hoverboard (ITF EP)

Tera Bag as Bag of Understanding (WA EP)

Radish as Edible Morsel (WA EP)

Emperor's Smile as Drinkable UNI EP Alcohol (Arsil Custom Beverages mod + UNI EP REQ)

TS4 to TS3 Jennisims Lotus Seed Pod as Edible Morsel (WA EP)

TS2 to TS3 Jizaikagi Irori Edit as Firepit PLAIN

TeeSangBoy Chinese Couch Redone as Decor Bedframe

TS2 to TS3 Asian Ornate End Table

TeeSangBoy Coffee Table TINY

EA Zen Bath Stool Emptied as Coffee Table

TS2 to TS3 Bamboo Copse

Bamboo Wall Stickers

MTCakestore Chinese Books (Stackable)

ShinoKCR Couch Cushion as Scroll Bundle (Stackable)

TS4 to TS3 Chinese Decor Man 1, 2, 3

Pinwheel ACCs

This miniset includes 3 CAS objects:

ATS3 Pinwheel as ACC for Kids, Toddlers & Adults

And that's that for now!

Enjoy, and Happy Lunar New Year 2023! 🐇🐰

Download folder (zip files): Mediafire | SimFileShare

Descriptions & pics under the cut:

EA Books Default Replacement

There are A LOT of books in TS3, so I tried to match Chinese & Japanese books to TS3′s particular genres:

Athletic & Sports: Armor, Book of 5 Rings (Musashi Miyamoto) | PhysEd & Military: Art of War (Sun Tzu) | Martial Arts: Daoist exercise chart | Riding: Yabusame scroll

Charisma 1-3: Genji no Kokagami (Murasaki Shikibu)

Cooking: Lvl 1 (52 Sick Prescriptions), Lvl 2 (Materia Dietetica), Lvl 3 (Herbal Food + Materia Dietetica)

Fishing 1-3: Materia Medica fish & reptiles (Bencao Gangmu)

Gardening: Lvl 1 (E-hon (Utagawa Hiroshige)), Lvl 2 (Court Records of Japanese Gardens), Lvl 3 (Compendium of Model Gardens (Tsukiyama & Yokei))

Generic: Butler (Book of Rites) | China (WA EP) () | Generic 1-3 (Analects (Confucius))

Handy 1-3: Scroll of Mudras

Kids: Children/Toddler Pictures & Comics (UNI EP) (Journey to the West) | Toddler Fun (Japanese Folk Toys) | Toddler Numbers (CHN/JPN numbers) | Toddler Words (Hiragana chart)

Learning: Non-fiction (Nihon Shoki) | AcadTech/Sci (Chinese alchemy) | Math (Third order equation (Shu shu jiu zhang) | Science (Chinese alchemy, ) | AcadFineArts (Analects) | AcadComm (Shuowen Jiezi) | Social (Genji no Kokagami (Murasaki Shikibu)) | Medical/Prenatal (Chinese Pharmacopoeia) | Historical (Book of Documents)

Logic: Lvl 1 (Analects (Confucius)), Lvl 2 (Book of Documents), Lvl 3 () | Poetry (Book of Songs) | AcadBusiness (Art of War (Sun Tzu))

Magic/Spellcraft (SN EP): Lvl 1 (Iching), Lvl 2 (Onmyodo (Abe no Seimei)), Lvl 3 (Iching hexagram)

Masterpiece (Book of Songs) | Photography/Street Art (E-hon (Utagawa Hiroshige))

Music: Lvl 1 (Qinxue Congshu), Lvl 2 (Qinxue Rumen), Lvl 3 (Book of Songs)

Recipe: Lvl 1 (52 Sick Prescriptions), Lvl 2 (Materia Dietetica), Lvl 3 (Herbal Food + Materia Dietetica)

Recreation: English (Bushido (Inazo Notobe)) | Fiction (Tamamo-no-mae (Katsushika Hokusai)) | Fantasy/Humor/Horror (Kyōsai Hyakki Gadan (Kawanabe Kyōsai)) | Biography (Heike Monogatari) | Romance (Genji no Kokagami) | Drama () | SciFi (Kaguya) | Mystery (Gazu Hyakki Yagyō (Toriyama Sekien))

Y'all can scroll through most of the replacements/swatches here & here.

File Dump Part 1

EA Chinese Tomb Chest as Toy Chest (basegame)

Silfantasy Chinese Sword as Hoverboard (ITF EP)

Tera Bag as Bag of Understanding (WA EP), recolorable, found under Misc Decor IIRC.

Radish as Edible Morsel (WA EP), recolorable; found under Misc Appliances & Plants.

TS4 to TS3 Jennisims Lotus Seed Pod as Edible Morsel (WA EP), recolorable; found under Misc Appliances & Plants.

Emperor's Smile as Drinkable UNI EP Alcohol (Arsil Custom Beverages mod + UNI EP REQ), recolorable; found under Misc Appliances.

TS2 to TS3 Jizaikagi Irori Edit as Firepit PLAIN is yet another version of my two Jizaikagi Irori (here & here), this time without the hanging rack/shelf.

TeeSangBoy Chinese Couch Redone as Decor Bedframe, to be used with functional mattresses (I used these by Sketchbookpixels).

TS2 to TS3 Asian Ornate End Table, TSB Coffee Table TINY, EA Zen Bath Stool Emptied as Coffee Table all recolorable & self explanatory.

TS2 to TS3 Bamboo Copse recolorable, found under Plants & Lawn Deco. Bamboo Wall Stickers recolorable, under Wall Art.

MTCakestore Chinese Books (Stackable) & ShinoKCR Couch Cushion as Scroll Bundle (Stackable) under Misc Deco, fully recolorable.

TS4 to TS3 Chinese Decor Man 1, 2, 3 non-recolorable, but includes rainbow of color variations. Found under Sculptures.

ATS3 Pinwheels as ACCs

Recolorable, unisex for toddlers, children, and teen-elders. Found under Bracelets.

And that's that for now!

Enjoy, and Happy Lunar New Year 2023! 🐇🐰

Download folder (zip files): Mediafire | SimFileShare

[chasing-obsession]

If you are interested in Arknights Lore, I am begging you to go and read it for yourself. There's been a LOT of wild theories and speculation being tossed out there right now that are basically being presented as fact and so many of them don't stand up even to a little bit of scrutiny when compared to actual text.

Places to read AK lore (tumblr hates links apparently so search terms are bolded):

The game itself. It's available via the google and app store. It can be played on a smart phone, any ios or Android tablet or a PC/laptop through the use of an emulator. The big two are Bluestacks and LD Player. (Support the devs but be careful of the gacha part. It's still a form of gambling.)

Arknights Story Reader. This contains transcripts of all Main Chapter, Event and Side Stories along with Operators Recs. It also includes a handful of the side stuff seen in certain events, namely the secret endings from NearLight and stuff from SN. The text for all four regions is included here.

Aceship. This site contains transcripts of operator stats, abilities, modules, module lore, operator record lore and voicelines. I think they also have skin lore.

There’s some people posting read out-louds and the cutscenes from the game on youtube. There’s also people summarizing each event/lore. If you want to read the story without any voice overs, I recommend searching for Shoul Arknights Story Collection. They’ve captured all the story sequences and uploaded it to their channel.

But seriously. PLEASE go look at the source material and make your own decisions. Don’t accept spoonfed answers.

One last caveat to all this.

CN Lore.

This is story from events, chapters and characters that have been release on the mainland Chinese servers but have NOT out on Global yet (this includes the EN/JP/KR servers). Be careful when dealing with CN Lore. I personally have found that there’s a ton of misinformation out there or just very bad translations. Don’t take just one person’s take/summary/opinion on CN lore. The best thing to do with that is to read lots of people’s summaries, if you can find them, or just wait until the Global version drops six months later.

EDIT 10/28/22:

Removed the Arknights Wiki recommendation and replaced it with the Story Reader for better accessibility, more source content and less nonsense.

Also enjoy the anime everyone.

[transgriffin]

EDIT: Found it! Thanks Fridayincarnate <3

Okay I was reading a Kylux fic today on AO3, which is rare, and I had it opened directly over the Tumblr app. For some reason it refreshed and now I can't even find the post anymore, nor can I find the fic on AO3 :(

Can anyone help?

Details:

Modern Setting

Kylo Ren is a Werewolf

Hux is a Monsterfucker

Phasma is mentioned and is "gayer than Hux"

Kylo invites Hux over for the full moon after he couldn't cancel another plan without explaining.

Kylos face scar was inflicted by a female werewolf that overpowered him once and is the reason he got the werewolf curse.

Someone introduced them to one another because Hux is in a monsterfucker online community and Kylo was looking for someone who would actually want to do it with him in werewolf form

Kylo takes a long run early in the morning and eats a whole rotisserie chicken among other copious amounts of food, including "all chinese takeout leftovers". He is up so early that nobody is at the office of his workplace yet so he can't call in sick until later.

Hux arrives and is shown Kylos basement where he locks himself up for the full moon. The stairs were torn out and replaced by a rope ladder that he can retract before he transforms. The basement has a lot of deep claw marks and gashes on the walls.

Kylo brings a mattress, blanket and pillow down for Hux's comfort before he arrives. He thinks to himself that they might get torn up, but he can buy a new one. He also gets condoms in case Hux wants them but realizes he never put one on in wolf form.

When they are in the basement, they start playing with fingers and Hux asks Kylo to get his bag, which has a knotted werewolf dildo in it.

They talk a bit about A/B/O and mpreg (fic tags said it's only mentioned)

Hux isn't sure whether he should believe Kylo, but he is absolutely up for the roleplay with the dildo.

Kylo starts transforming while Hux rides the dildo. His teeth change first, there was a line about him feeling "his spine leaving his body" or something similar when it got to the tail. And the fur growth stung.

The title of the fic had something to do with a songtitle that included the word "moon"

That's about how far I got. Thank you for any leads!

[artbyeritza]

Butterfly Pity (Pea Tea)

Mitski’s on repeat in my wired headset again

And I try not to feel sorry for myself, not to cry.

I try to stand my ground, to stand on business,

It’s never enough.

I’m back in that office job again,

Now my old friends, my new friends,

My international friends and fellow Filipinos

Must think what a clown I am.

It’s the same circus, same as Yulo’s,

The difference is he won two gold medals

And has a supportive girl and the girl’s family.

I’m stuck in a cycle with my family.

Time is a circle, as the world spins on its axis.

I begin again, the same day,

Tolerating and hating everything and everyone,

For the past 26 years.

The funny thing is, I thought I could treat my friends

As a replacement for my family –

A break from the scorching summers and hell that they bring

But it opened up

Abuse, recklessness,

Dumbness, idiot,

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

Idiot, idiot, idiot

I am a fucking idiot

For thinking that friends can fill the void,

Much less how relationships started

And ended.

In my waking hours and grimdark dreams,

No one ever loved me,

I was only tolerated.

The fat fuck from the Philippines,

Loser – tolerated.

They’re a no one, they are toxic.

My parents loved the dogs more than me.

A female dog is a bitch

And she is.

The dogs they took care of, the white one,

Would bite me when I tried to get close,

Get familiar.

So animals don’t like me, my parents, my sisters,

My family don’t like me,

I am not certain if my remaining friends

Secretly hate me

Or if I have potential partners at all.

Aside from my personal life,

My professional, oh,

I hate numbers, I hate Accounting.

My boss is a bitch,

Who would work us 6 days a week,

From 7 in the morning until 7 in the night.

She would excuse it as personally knowing us,

Or so she claimed and our residence was nearby.

She does not understand boundaries.

The only solace I have is I can steal a few Zs

From working hours, shit, fuck, and game

During working hours.

I don’t fuck anyone, I’m AroAce and Polyam,

Not a monster.

I let my SLOWLY messages

Stack up, let it add up.

Long messaging and waiting for messages

To arrive piss me the fuck off.

By the time something reaches to me,

The Homestuck magic of waiting for a friend’s response

Or mail is gone, it’s gone.

It’s motherfucking gone.

SLOWLY was an excuse for lazy messaging,

A random-izer.

It can be a dating app but for friends.

Every time I hear that dating apps have a friend feature

Or can be used to find friends,

I want to shoot myself.

I loved the randies from Boo and Her app

But for someone to be lazy

and obviously lazy,

To not write something coherent, complex and interesting

Dear mother of god, susmariosep!

Now, I know how it is when people get bored,

I get bored too.

I know uninterested when it writes, when it talks

Yet I’m not a plaything anymore.

My Germans, Americans, and Chinese write to me

And I’m not sure how to reply.

I watch my Russian friend online in the photo app,

I wonder if I will get our usual messaging

But it is a Sunday

And seemingly, same as the Americans I knew,

They are busy with family, work and maybe study.

Or rather, it becomes obvious to my oblivious,

Moron self

That there is not one single person

Who will prefer to talk to me,

The way I speak to my poetry and art.

I pity…not myself, but everyone else.

I am healing, like a caterpillar encased in a cocoon

And about to hatch.

The hatch will be a thing of horror,

Violence to myself for a new life someday.

I’m on the third cup of “Ternate”,

Like the municipality of Cavite.

Third cup of my butterfly pea tea.

I watch the light blue sky turn into deep ocean blue,

A tea in my cup.

I swallowed it whole.

I know I’m the problem

And how mean and rude I am

But I also know I do these things

Because I was hurt deeply,

Left to lick my own wounds,

Tending, nursing myself.

[ultramaga]

While I was walking, a guy crashed on the road nearby. His front wheel came off on an ebike. I helped him home, getting lovely reminders from my back all the ways.

It was the first time I have seen one up close.

It's an electric motorbike, going over 60 kph on the flat without pedalling, and requires no license or rego plates.

Try doing that on a motorcycle and you can go to jail, but the government is pushing these ebikes to replace cars, so they are willing to cut corners.

I had an elderly relative who bought a robot vacuum. It requires a smartphone, which they don't have and could not possibly use, or it stops working.

You have to run the app, which is probably full of spyware. The current Chinese business model is to double bill the customers. You pay up front, then pay with privacy as they harvest your data.

Recently, there was a scandal because it turns out the robot vacuum cleaners are programmed to upload footage of weak points in security, children changing clothes, etc, and by an amazing coincidence, that data is then auctioned off to pedos and thieves.

It would not surprise me if they turned out to have microphones as well, but they definitely can take photos, or at least the model they were talking about could.

Maybe I am just getting old, but it just seems like the world is steadily getting worse.

[maaarine]

Bibliography: articles posted on this blog in 2023

Posted in January

To grasp how serotonin works on the brain, look to the gut (James M Shine, Psyche, Jan 03 2023)

Thousands of records shattered in historic winter warm spell in Europe (Ian Livingston, The Washington Post, Jan 02 2023)

“Il faut que tu sois belle maintenant” : en Égypte, des femmes libérées du voile restent prisonnières des diktats (Aliaa Talaat, Al-Manassa via Courrier International, 20 nov 2022)

Mystery of why Roman buildings have survived so long has been unraveled, scientists say (Katie Hunt, CNN, Jan 06 2023)

Colombia’s surrogacy market: Buying a baby for $4,000 (Lucía Franco, El País, Jan 04 2023)

How to spot an eating disorder (Phillip Aouad & Sarah Maguire, Psyche, Jan 11 2023)

UAE sparks furious backlash by appointing Abu Dhabi oil chief as president of COP28 climate summit (Sam Meredith, CNBC, Jan 12 2023)

Don’t tell me that David Carrick’s crimes were ‘unbelievable’. The problem is victims aren’t believed (Marina Hyde, The Guardian, Jan 17 2023)

Baromètre Sexisme 2023 : "La situation est alarmante", estime le Haut Conseil à l'Égalité (Juliette Geay, Radio France, 23 janvier 2023)

—

Posted in February

Spain approves menstrual leave, teen abortion and trans laws (NPR, Feb 16 2023)

Are Men the Overlooked Reason for the Fertility Decline? (Jessica Grose, The New York Times, Feb 15 2023)

American teenage girls are experiencing high levels of emotional distress. Why? (Moira Donegan, The Guardian, Feb 16 2023)

Figures that lay bare the shocking scale of toxic influencer Andrew Tate’s reach among young men (Maya Oppenheim, The Independent, Feb 17 2023)

Why psychological research on child sex offenders is important (Meetali Devgun, Psyche, Feb 22 2023)

Derrière les chiffres des féminicides, des visages et un continuum de violences contre les femmes (Fanny Declercq, Le Soir, 27 fév 2023)

—

Posted in March

English is not normal (John McWhorter, Aeon, Nov 13 2015)

Are Iranian schoolgirls being poisoned by toxic gas? (BBC News, March 03 2023)

‘Why do we need a supermodel?’: Backlash after Fifa makes Adriana Lima Women’s World Cup ambassador (Henry Belot, The Guardian, March 02 2023)

New Human Metabolism Research Upends Conventional Wisdom about How We Burn Calories (Herman Pontzer, Scientific American, Jan 01 2023)

Polish woman found guilty of aiding an abortion in landmark trial (Harriet Barber, The Telegraph, March 14 2023)

How Diet Builds Better Bones: Surprising Findings on Vitamin D, Coffee, and More (Claudia Wallis, Scientific American, Jan 01 2023)

Met police found to be institutionally racist, misogynistic and homophobic (Vikram Dodd, The Guardian, March 21 2023)

Chinese Dating App Does the Swiping for Singles to Find Love (Nikki Main, Gizmodo, March 21 2023)

Aphantasia can be a gift to philosophers and critics like me (Mette Leonard Høeg, Psyche, March 20 2023)

—

Posted in April

Facts Don’t Change Minds – Social Networks, Group Dialogue, and Stories Do (Anne Toomey, The LSE Impact Blog, Jan 24 2023)

Uganda’s failure to jail child rapists as teen pregnancies soar (Tamasin Ford, BBC News, April 17 2023)

Italy risks ‘ethnic replacement’ because of low birth rate and high immigration, says minister (Nick Squires, The Telegraph, April 19 2023)

Putin, Trump, Ukraine: how Timothy Snyder became the leading interpreter of our dark times (Robert P Baird, The Guardian, March 30 2023)

India overtakes China to become world’s most populous country (Hannah Ellis-Petersen, The Guardian, April 24 2023)

—

Posted in May

Des crèches ferment toutes les semaines, « et ce n’est pas près de s’arrêter » (Le Soir, 5 mai 2023)

People in comas showed ‘conscious-like’ brain activity as they died, study says (Hannah Devlin, The Guardian, May 01 2023)

Chinese woman appeals in battle for right to freeze her eggs (The Guardian, May 09 2023)

Women CEOs: Why companies in crisis hire minorities - and then fire them (The Guardian, DG McCullough, Aug 08 2014)

Glass cliffs: firms appoint female executives in times of crisis as a signal of change to investors (Max Reinwald and Johannes Zaia and Florian Kunze, LSE Business Review, Aug 19 2022)

—

Posted in June

Afghan women in mental health crisis over bleak future (Yogita Limaye, BBC News, June 05 2023)

Support Of Amber Heard Alongside French Feminists & Cinema Figures (Melanie Goodfellow, Deadline, June 05 2023)

Why is Japan redefining rape? (Tessa Wong & Sakiko Shiraishi, BBC News, June 07 2023)

Catching the men who sell subway groping videos (Zhaoyin Feng & Aliaume Leroy & Shanshan Chen, BBC News, June 08 2023)

Netherlands to provide free sun cream to tackle record skin cancer levels (Kate Connolly, The Guardian, June 12 2023)

The Cause of Depression Is Probably Not What You Think (Joanna Thompson, Quanta Magazine, Jan 26 2023)

—

Posted in July

‘Farsighted impulsivity’ and the new psychology of self-control (Adam Bulley, Psyche, Feb 03 2021)

Can a perfectionist personality put you at risk of migraines? (Shayla Love, Psyche, July 25 2023)

—

Posted in August

How Loneliness Reshapes the Brain (Marta Zaraska, Quanta Magazine, Feb 28 2023)

Why religious belief provides a real buffer against suicide risk (David H Rosmarin, Psyche, Aug 07 2023)

—

Posted in September

What Are Dreams For? (Amanda Gefter, The New Yorker, Aug 31 2023)

Rape Cases Seize Italy’s Attention and Expose Cultural Rifts (Gaia Pianigiani, The New York Times, Sep 03 2023)

Councils in England in crisis as Birmingham ‘declares itself bankrupt’ (Heather Stewart and Jessica Murray, The Guardian, Sep 05 2023)

Nearly one in three female NHS surgeons have been sexually assaulted, survey suggests (Jamie Grierson, The Guardian, Sep 12 2023)

Domination and Objectification: Men’s Motivation for Dominance Over Women Affects Their Tendency to Sexually Objectify Women (Orly Bareket and Nurit Shnabel, Sep 09 2019)

In Spain, dozens of girls are reporting AI-generated nude photos of them being circulated at school: ‘My heart skipped a beat’ (Manuel Viejo, El País, Sep 18 2023)

When the human tendency to detect patterns goes too far (Shayla Love, Psyche, Sep 19 2023)

—

Posted in October

My Brain Doesn’t Picture Things (Marco Giancotti, Nautilus, Oct 04 2023)

“Inverse vaccine” shows potential to treat multiple sclerosis and other autoimmune diseases (Sarah C.P. Williams, The University of Chicago, Sep 11 2023)

Poland election: exit polls point to Law and Justice defeat as Tusk hails ‘rebirth’ (Shaun Walker, The Guardian, Oct 16 2023)

—

Posted in November

What I have learned from my suicidal patients (Gavin Francis, The Guardian, Nov 22 2019)

Did natural selection make the Dutch the tallest people on the planet? (Martin Enserink, Science, Apr 07 2015)

Tumblr Is Always Dying (Elizabeth Minkel, Wired, Nov 14 2023)

How accurate is the new Napoleon film? Sorting fact from fiction (Andrew Roberts, The Sunday Times, Nov 19 2023)

Far-right party set to win most seats in Dutch elections, exit polls show (Jon Henley and Pjotr Sauer and Senay Boztas, The Guardian, Nov 22 2023)

Climate change: Rise in Google searches around ‘anxiety’ (Lucy Gilder, BBC, Nov 22 2023)

—

Posted in December

The sexual assault of sleeping women: the hidden, horrifying rape crisis in our bedrooms (Anna Moore, The Guardian, June 15 2021)

Afghanistan: Taliban sends abused women to prison - UN (Nicholas Yong, BBC News, Dec 15 2023)

Longitudinal Associations Between Parenting and Child Big Five Personality Traits (University of California Press, Nov 18 2021)

Scientists Pinpoint Cause of Severe Morning Sickness (Azeen Ghorayshi, The New York Times, Dec 13 2023)

[fleetsofsnow]

Every once in a while I think about how there's been some (not enough but some) international attention on Xinjiang and the Uyghurs, and how previously there were some (not enough, and now seemingly rapidly fading) concern and international attention on Tibet, but I've not really seen people talk about Inner Mongolia.

Because sometimes I'll come across articles like this one and wonder how their people feel, how they live, what they want.

Because "Thousands of ethnic Mongolians have protested across northern China in opposition to Beijing plans to replace the Mongolian language with Chinese in some school subjects" and "Elbegdorj Tsakhia, president of Mongolia from 2009 to 2017, published a video in support of the protests" and that "The changes mirror those already made in Xinjiang in 2017 and Tibet in 2018."

Because "Enghebatu Togochog, director of the US-based Southern Mongolian Human Rights Information Center" said “The main concern of the Mongolian people is that this language change is pretty much just to wipe out the Mongolian language education in Southern Mongolia once and for all”.

And he also said that "In the past 70 years Mongolian people have gone through a lot, including genocide, political oppression, economic exploitation, cultural assimilation and environmental destruction. So after 70 years of China’s heavy-handed policy, the Mongolian language is the last remaining symbol of Mongolia."

And "Chinese authorities also shut down the only Mongolian social media app in the country".

And how do you live with that knowledge floating around the back of your head? What can you do? You can maybe highlight one thing at a time. Try to change the world in whatever way you can one step at a time. Spread information one click at a time. But what does that do for the millions of people suffering, from Ukraine to Palestine to the Congo to Tibet to Xinjiang to Inner Mongolia to the indigenous communities in Philippines to the Rohingya to endless others that I know and do now know of.

What do we do?

[thisislizheather]

Museum of Failure in NYC

“Museum of Failure is a collection of failed products and services from around the world. The majority of all innovation projects fail and the museum showcases these failures to provide visitors a fascinating learning experience. Innovation and progress require an acceptance of failure. The museum aims to stimulate productive discussion about failure and inspire us to take meaningful risks.”

God, I love a fun museum. There’s absolutely nothing better. I went to the Museum of Failure when it opened a few weeks ago in Brooklyn and I can’t recommend it enough. The space it’s displayed in is a bit of a failure in itself (on purpose maybe?), but once you get past that it’s a great way to spend an hour. Some highlights below!

As soon as you enter, there’s the Share Your Failure wall that visitors can contribute to. Best ones I read: not getting divorced, not kissing him, not wearing sunscreen when I was young.

Above Photo: Share Your Failure wall at the Museum of Failure, NYC

Above Photo: If this doesn’t remind you of the Toronto Science Center in the mid 90s, I don’t know what to tell you

Okay, Orbitz was not actually a good drink, but it completely paved the way for bubble tea to take off.

Above Photo: Diet candy AYDS, 1937-1980s

“Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AYDS?" HOW WAS THIS REAL? And how on earth was it successful for decades?? This appetite-suppressant candy was successful with the help of Hollywood celebrities and its popularity peaked in the 1970s. Obviously when the AIDS epidemic emerged in the 1980s the weight-loss product was doomed.

Above Photo: Atari ET Game & Console, 1982-1983

This is basically known as the worst video game of all time and Atari reported a $536 million loss in 1983 because of it. There’s a great documentary about it called Atari: Game Over about the urban legend that unsold copies were buried.

Above Photo: Low blow, museum. Low blow.

Is it funny that there’s a Titanic reference? Absolutely. Horrid, but funny.

Above Photo: Pinky Gloves, 2021

Oh no, these came out in 2021. A male trio of German inventors created gloves to wear when taking out tampons so that women wouldn’t get blood on their hands and have a “discrete way to dispose of the used product.” WOW.

Above Photo: Little Miss No Name, 1965

Firstly, I apologize for introducing this image into your subconscious. I really am. The brand Hasbro designed this unusual doll to be an alternative to the hugely popular Barbie. “In keeping with the climate of the mid-sixties, they wanted to teach little girls compassion and the realities of life for homeless people.”

Above Photo: Trump SECTION at the Museum of Failure, NYC

There’s a whole Trump wing in the museum, which is just *chef’s kiss*.

Above Photo: Spray On Condom, 2006-2008

This German product was supposed to be the solution to the problem of condoms being either too small or too big. Its instructions: “Simply insert penis into an apparatus to coat with melted latex and then wait 3 minutes for the latex to dry.” It failed because the idea of inserting one's penis into the apparatus scared men and the three-minute hardening time proved too long to wait.

Above Photo: Shared Girlfriend, 2017

Developed by Chinese company Taqu Ltd., the Shared Girlfriend service rented sex dolls for $45 a day. They were made of high-quality silicon and dolls were ordered with a smartphone app then delivered to your door. “After each rental, the dolls were disinfected, and the more heavily used and damaged parts were replaced.” ICK.  Amazingly, the service was suspended only four days after its launch due to public outrage.

There were so many other incredible pieces on display (grass skis, the hula chair, the Elon Musk wall), you really should make an afternoon of it and see for yourself. I showed a few videos of the exhibit over on my spring ‘23 highlights on Instagram, if you’re interested in seeing even more. Such a fun time. Tickets available over here.

Now I beg you, world: bring back Pepsi Blue.