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duhragonball · 4 years ago

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For the Ask Game: Son Goku

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Goku is the main character in Dragon Ball Z, an anime that I have enjoyed tremendously for over 20 years. He kicks aliens really fast and hard, and he eats wolves and bugs and clouds, and he’s very cool and good.

That may sound kind of basic, maybe even borderline sarcastic, but I’m not sure how else to put it. I’ve gotten so used to liking Goku that it’s hard to articulate why.

Like, okay, you know that one episode during the Cell Games, where he’s gonna pick apples from his favorite apple tree? And he does the special karate punch that makes the apples all fall out of the branches without really hurting the tree? In the dub, he says to the tree “Ready for one more round, old timer?” Or something like that, and then after he hits it, he’s like “See? That didn’t hurt a bit.” I’m not getting the lines right, but you get the idea. That’s some choice Goku right there. He’s friends with that tree!

Why I don’t: hE gAvE mOrO a SeNzU bEaN-- ha ha just kidding, but can you imagine not liking Goku? Because of something he did in some horseshit fancomic that doesn’t even count?

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of guff from people about Goku showing mercy to his enemies. This is humorous to me, because I’d bet you dollars to donuts that they’re fans of Vegeta and/or Piccolo, and that only happened because Goku decided to have mercy on their stank asses. “Well I like Vegeta because he kills people.” He only gets to do that because Goku allowed him to live. Best Green Dad doesn’t happen without Goku, period, end of sentence, new paragraph.

I’m not a lore expert like that guy on Twitter who only watched DBZ Abridged, but here’s some cool trivia for you: Cell could have self-destructed and destroyed the Earth at any time. It literally does not matter that Goku gave Cell a senzu bean before Gohan fought him, because Cell would have done the same thing no matter who beat him or how. If Gohan had wiped him out quickly, that nucleus would have survived and regenerated, and he would come back even stronger. The senzu bean just delayed the inevitable outcome, and not even by that much, because Cell wasn’t that worn out in the first place. The whole thing with the senzu bean was Goku playing headgames with Cell and no one seems to understand that but me.

But what about Moro, you ask? Hey, come here.

Closer. No, closer.

Listen to me. I love you, okay? But the Dragon Ball Super manga isn’t canon. Hating Goku over something he did in Super is like hating Superman for something he did in a Mad Magazine bit.

“Blargle blargle he doesn’t kiss his wife bad father, tournament of power--” I super mega don’t care about any of these ice cold takes. Every day I go on YouTube and it recommends me the dirt worst Star Wars commentary videos. “Maybe the SITH were actually the GOOD GUYS and the JEDI were the BAD GUYS! Huh? Did I just BLOW your MIND? Be sure to like and subscribe!” Every dope with a keyboard seems to think they can flip the script and pretend they’re some kind of genius. “Thanos was right!” “Magneto was right!” “Dr. Doom was right!” “Antifa are the real fascists when you stop and think about it!” “Masks and vaccines are bullshit, COVID-19 is a hoax, but if it were real, maybe it’s the good guy in this situation!”

I didn’t mean to go off on a rant here, but the whole point of Goku is that he’s a pretty cool guy, and the hero of his particular adventure, and you see all these people trying to outsmart that somehow, like it’s not the premise of the character. It’s like all those fan theories about how every show is really one character having a coma dream in the hospital. It’s fake-deep, like when Will Smith’s kid goes on the internet and says something like “Water isn’t wet when you stop and think about it.”

I’m not saying everyone has to like Goku, but I don’t get the hate-boner people have for him. I don’t like cole slaw, it’s soggy and insipid and I don’t understand it, but I don’t go around trying to convince people it’s not made out of cabbage.

Anyway, Goku’s awesome.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): It’s hard to choose, but DBZ #248 always fucks me up. I looked it up in my liveblog archive to get the episode number right, and the first line of that post: This one always fucks me up.

Moving on.

Favorite season/movie: In Dragon Ball terms, I guess this refers to the sagas, so I’ll go with Cell Games. Goku goes into the battle with this flawed, touch-and-go plan, and it works. He defeats perfection with imperfection, and it’s glorious.

Favorite line: “What I represent can never be destroyed,” is one of the most metal lines ever uttered, anywhere. It’s a threat and a moral lesson all in one.

Favorite outfit: Two answers for this one.

Shu’s outfit in the Fortuneteller Baba Saga was awesome. I used to wear yellow T-shirts to work, so when I put on my blue labcoat I would see myself in the restroom mirror and think: yeaaaaahhhhhh.

I’m also big into Goku’s look during the Cell Games, classic orange outfit, blue shirt, with the Super Saiyan form ready to go. That may sound obvious, since this is kind of Goku’s default look, but it takes a while to get all of this together. For me, it was a big deal to see Goku in action as a Super Saiyan in his standard fighting gear, because the whole time he was SSJ on Namek his shirt was ruined. Against Gero and 19 he was sick, but starting with the Cell Games, we get him fresh as a daisy, and it’s worth the wait. Harder to stealth cosplay, though.

OTP: Gochi. Come on. I don’t even care that much about ships, but they’re adorable on the show, and the internet backlash against Gochi only intensifies my defiance.

Brotp: I wrote a fanfic with Goku and Yamcha just joyriding in the desert, and that seemed pretty awesome, so maybe we need more of that.

I dunno, maybe I’m giving this to Bulma. They don’t get a ton of screen time together after a certain point in the show, but the bond between them is this really sublime thing. In the same fanfic, I wrote Bulma and Goku interacting, and that was just a pleasure to write.

Head Canon: I think Goku being an alien orphan matters more to him than he lets on. Early on, he knew he had parents but he didn’t know why they left him in the woods. Pretty much every interaction he has with the outside world is about him being different. Then he finds out he’s a Saiyan and all the Saiyans hate him for being weak and sentimental and so on. He can kick all their asses, but that doesn’t make him any less of an outcast.

I think becoming a Super Saiyan is a bigger deal to him than he lets on. That moment kind of serves as this unspoken proof that there’s more to being a “true” Saiyan than Vegeta, Nappa, and Raditz ever knew. That maybe, if his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great granny could see him, she might approve.

Unpopular opinion:

Yukio Ebisawa is underrated.

A wish: I always wanted to see Goku style on Broly ‘93. It seemed unfair to me that they kept bringing Broly back, and even teased a rematch with Goku in Movie 11, only to not deliver on it. I wanted Goku to turn Super Saiyan 2 and Broly’d be all “oh noes!” and Goku would look at him and be all “Yeah. What now, bitch? That green shit won’t cut it anymore.”

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I think my darkest fear about the Dragon Ball franchise is that it’ll get bastardized like Superman, where some giant multimedia corporation owns it, has no idea how to tell new stories with it, and refuses to let it lapse into the public domain. I have no idea how public domain works in Japan, but “Disney Toei’s Dragon Ball KH” doesn’t sit well with me. Hopefully I’ll be dead by the time that happens.

Like, Rise of Skywalker wasn’t that bad. But it did lead me to worry that they really have no idea how to make Star Wars work. They got it right enough, but the part where Rose is going to stay and guard the base or whatever, it just made me realize they’re only guessing, and they just happen to guess right often enough to succeed. And it’s not like you can jump over to some other studio and see how they handle a Star Wars movie.

5 words to best describe them: Ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.

My nickname for them: Geeko. Ha ha, just kidding.

#dragon ball #ask duhragonball #goku #son goku #jcogginsa

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slothcritic · 5 years ago

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Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 8 Review

Consistent yet lackluster, this is a good episode that doesn’t really stand out.

The title sequence for Nappa's Best Day Ever should've started after Cadaverrific! which I think is a wonderful bit of black humor. But the following scene just felt like another "ha ha bulma is a loose woman" joke. This scene might've been funnier with better voice acting. I wouldn't say the scene did nothing for me, but it did very little.

Also “Mr Kent” - Is that a Superman reference or am I taking crazy pills?

[Title Sequence]

With Yamcha gone, the mantle of series buttmonkey falls to Krillin. He has his big damn hero moment, when he Limit Breaks the stuffing out of three Saibamen, but it's frankly disregarded in favor of Piccolo using a god damned mouth-laser to annihilate the last one.

With no more Saibamen left to toy with, it falls upon the two Saiyans to get their hands dirty. Or rather, for Nappa to get his hands dirty while Vegeta sits back and watches. Nappa is no less full of whipshot non-sequiturs in this episode than he was in the previous. After some banter about teaching the Z Fighters a lesson, he gives new meaning to the word "punchline" and amputates Tien's arm.

Compared to a lot of other voice actors, Ganxingba (Tien) actually does a decent scream here. Most of the other screams so far have either been laid on too thick, or done way too close so it peaks their potato microphones, or it’s just super disingenuous. But right here, Tien’s scream is actually really convincing and doesn’t make me feel like someone is stabbing knives into my ears.

The quiet breeze after Vegeta makes a corny pun (Looks like he's been... disarmed!) sells the joke. Nappa’s follow-up seems more like an in-character necessity for him than it seems like a part of the joke.

Ever apparent that fighting Nappa would be completely beyond their capabilities, Chiaotzu decides to blow himself up and take Nappa with him.

"You can just wish me back with the Dragon Balls!" "We already wished you back with the Dragon Balls! We can't do it twice!" "...Wait, wha--?"

KABOOM. Okay, that got a chuckle out of me. This is also the first time the respawn limit of the Dragon Balls has been mentioned. Simply put, everybody gets one.

Krillin's comment on Chiaotzu's death is really bland and lazily written, but prompts a little more character insight to Tien.

"I loved him." "As a memorial to Yamcha... Gay."

I didn't like it when Yamcha first said it, but being referenced in this macabre fashion does something for me. I won't claim it's clever or witty but I personally find it funny.

Nappa then reveals that Chiaotzu's sacrifice had absolutely no effect on him, which naturally enrages Tien. He goes on to get the stuffing knocked out of him, and Gohan ponders if they should help him instead of just standing around.

Piccolo explains that Tien is in a battle to honor his friend’s death, and he wouldn’t dare besmirch the man’s pride by interrupting his heroic last stand.

This immediately cuts to Tien screaming for help.

I can't tell if the smirk when Piccolo says "Like a hero" is a visual edit or actually existed in the source material, but it's use here is amazing. The look on his face makes him seem like a sadist who's enjoying this, and that's honestly not too far off from how Piccolo has been depicted so far. He's the Demon King who wants to take over the world and couldn't care less about these humans.

After being reprimanded by Gohan, Piccolo and Krillin finally get the lead out and agree to team up against Nappa. They get some surprise slaps on him, and Piccolo yells for Gohan to shoot him with everything he's got before he has time to DODGE.

This triggers a Pavlovian response and Gohan immediately runs for cover, which means Piccolo and Krillin are just going to have to fight Nappa the old fashioned way: By using the Kagebunshin no Jutsu.

"I can't... believe it."

The Naruto skit is creative and risable in its own right but not exactly gut-busting. What's a whole lot funnier is the notion that Nappa's incredible mental discipline is derived entirely from him playing "Patty Cake, Patty Cake" in his head.

Each of Krillin's shadow clones gets their own notch on the owned counter, bringing the score up to 7.

Nappa then commends their effort and tells them, hey at least you didn't kill yourself using a single useless attack, like Chiaotzu did. Tien then proceeds to do that exact same thing: He fires a Kikoho at Nappa and then dies.

It's given a bit more cause for worry in the original show, where Vegeta states that it very well could have killed Nappa if he didn't guard against it at the last second, but in this series he's given no such credit. Nappa just laughs and says "Pointless."

Just before he goes in for the kill on Krillin, he's stopped mid-air by a stunning realization. He can fly. Vegeta is too flabbergasted to argue this and simply agrees.

After pitching a fit about wanting Goku to watch him murder the Z Fighters, Vegeta obliges Nappa and agrees to wait three hours for Goku to arrive.

I half-expected, half-wanted them to make a fake girlfriend reference with Goku here.

Vegeta - "So this friend of yours, that you SAY is coming, is somehow stronger than all of you combined, yet didn't show up here to fight us, and you're only just now telling us this after two of your friends have died?"

Krillin - "You wouldn't know him, he goes to a different school."

Thirty seconds into their three hour wait time, Nappa starts up the "Is he here yet?" bit. Vegeta shoos him off and tells him to go have fun and occupy himself in any way he sees fit.

This begins a well-timed, well-edited musical number of Nappa systematically dismantling the naval and air forces of what I assume is the World Government.

And this whole time while Nappa is enjoying himself to the sounds of musical splendor, crashing metal, and explosions, Piccolo, Krillin, and Gohan are just standing still in a morosely quiet semi-circle. For the entire three hours I'm guessing. Vegeta's scouter alarm goes off, which means time is up and they're all going to die. Nappa suddenly returns without his shirt and elbows Piccolo in the head so hard it changes the color of the sky from blue to pink.

Not the most clean or graceful cutaway scene, but it sells itself regardless. The stinger is a stronger finish than it had any right to be, as a callback and apparent closure to the most esoteric joke in this series. RIP Whales.

Conclusion

This was a plateau of an episode. Whereas the last episode had constant peaks and kept your interest, this one was steady and consistent throughout in a less remarkable way. Most of the factors that go into making or breaking an episode seemed to have hit a comfortable resting point. That or I've just finally become numb to the questionable microphone quality.

I feel like this episode almost lands in the twilight zone of "It's bad, so let me reach to say something positive about it" and "It's good, so let me reach to say something negative about it." that just coalesces into me not having much of anything to say about it. I’m uncertain whether or not this constitutes a failure on my part as a critic, or if this episode really is just that comparatively monotonous.

The word mediocre is often used to mean bad or poor, which I don't feel fits this episode, but it certainly isn't a stand out. I really couldn't find much worthy of discussion here beyond face value.

The few jokes that struck me personally stop me from calling this episode boring, but I found myself repeatedly checking the time to see how much I still had left to watch. It had jokes that were definitely funny, but nothing here really kept my attention. Other lackluster episodes, even if they were not worth a rewatch, kept my interest because I'd latch onto things that were obvious and apparent as being poorly done. This one offered very little variance between the lowest it went and the peak its comedy or production.

If anything, this episode is saved from a lower score by its tail end. Nappa's patty cake joke and the eponymous "best day ever" scene really make up the majority of this episodes hard-hitting humor for me.

But it is important to note that this is still a good episode. It’s not a laugh riot episode and it’s probably not in anyone’s Top 5, but it’s a very comfortable middle ground between the worst this season has to offer and the very peaks.

As an important side note, I feel like we're just now encroaching upon what might be Nappa fatigue. I maintain my position that Nappa has yet to have a “do nothing” joke - all of his humor has been in a hit in some capacity - but it feels almost par for the course at this point. Nappa is definitely not overdone in this episode and he in fact caries it, but I feel like another episode of this style would tread tightly upon the expiration date of how much zaniness you can come to expect before it starts to feel samey. Nappa is in danger here of simply becoming too saturated within the show’s focus and would lose his simplistic, unique appeal that's the driving force behind his characterization. Which is well-timed because we all know what happens next episode...

While I don’t think this episode stands out as a whole, it definitely has some strongly quotable moments. Yeah, yeah, most of what Nappa said. But a series of hilariously derailing one-liners does not make for something remarkable on the whole, which to me just feels expected, stagnant and safe. The peaks are not enough to pull this episode further up, but I must say I’m still not fully confident in my assessment. This was definitely a weird episode to judge.

Score: 67

Passing Thoughts

“What the hell could someone like you possibly major in?” “Child psychology.” “Wow, that sounds really interesting.” “WITH A MINOR IN PAIN!”

"Nappa here is worth 5 Raditz, and I am worth 15 Raditz!" - Vegeta Accurate to the canon power levels!

Oolong saying "Get back to the fight!" sounds absolutely nothing like Oolong. In fact, Episode 1 Oolong sounds more like Oolong than this short cameo did.

"Dick move, guys."

"Good effort, but I'm the patty cake champion."

#slothcritic #DBZ #Dragon Ball Z Abridged #TFS #teamfourstar

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the-ash0 · 6 years ago

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surviving paradise ch 30 roots

“Come on, my boy, don't be shy.”

Of course, Vegeta was not. Not even here in this throne room full of unpleasant memories. Not even when Frieza used that worryingly familiar voice with him. It just didn’t sit well with him. It also did not sit well when he saw that second creature up there on the dias, that imposing figure next to the tyrant’s hover-throne.

It had not sat right by him when he received the summons either, although somewhere in the back of his mind he had expected it after his unwanted break. A week on stand-by had turned to two weeks. Two weeks had turned into two months; Vegeta had grown so bored and so desperate for something to do, that following his team through the planet’s capital had become a nightly thing.

It had not been unpleasant at all. His Saiyans seemed dead-set on upstaging the entire Lunar festival that had to be in full swing at home by now. And apparently as long as any irregularities were kept away from the palace, and Frieza’s ship, no one gave a damn. It was up to Vegeta and Raditz to steer the group away from obvious trouble, and with Nappa as impromptu expert on fun, they had pretty decent time of it.

During the first night Vegeta had been on his toes, sure something bad was bound to happen. But apparently all the PTO personnel on planet were fully occupied by ‘family matters’, which had meant little to the young Saiyan commander at the time. Although perhaps he should have asked more questions.

Yes. The pair on the dias did resemble each other. They had the same horns on the sides of their heads, curved up at the end like they were meant to gore through someone. The same helmet head, that they both tilted to the side a little as they regarded Vegeta from their elevated position. The same dark-colored lips, same fake smile... That spelled trouble.

Why had he been called in? Perhaps word of the Saiyans’ nightly antics had finally reached the tyrant? It was true that Vegeta had thrown all caution aside and partied with abandon. It had felt good; what he imagined Saiyans were supposed to live like. The native police force knew better than to bother them, and on their nightly sojourns he had felt more like royalty than he ever remembered. For with Frieza and his elites occupied, the Saiyans had been Lords and Masters of the entire frigid planet.

Maybe Frieza had been too busy until now, and had taken offence after all? The tyrant didn’t look angry, but then, Vegeta had learned when that fake smile was up, he was just guessing at what emotion was hidden underneath. So it was possible the lizard was upset with him. The elder, larger creature at its side definitely had that look in his eye; contempt hidden behind a near identical fake smile that only just failed to reach his eyes. Like Vegeta was some disgusting slugfrog that had been foolish enough to croak its way into notice.

His Saiyans had been loud enough, Vegeta supposed. Especially last night. They had crowed their superiority, then wound up sparring each other in the streets as no creature was foolish enough to take them up on their challenge. The citizens had learned, however, and had waited until the worst of the Saiyans’ bloodlust had passed. Then they offered food and drink, invited the Saiyans into their bars or around a warm fire to drink for free— as long as they didn’t break the place.

As the night progressed, and just as the previous nights, Saiyans with full bellies and pleasant smiles had become lost left and right. But last night, at their third bar or so - which had once again involved a lot of celebratory rounds in the memory of Lekus - Vegeta had lost himself as well. Perhaps it was lingering guilt that had forced his last restraints to the back of his mind and made him resolve to get dead drunk, but whatever came after became blanketed in a pleasant, unclear mist.

It should not have come as a surprise when he’d woken up on what was presumably the next morning to his scouter beeping with a short notice private summons. It was the worst timing, so of course he’d be called on. Vegeta groggily picked himself up off the hardwood floor of some establishment he had never heard of and untangled himself from some alien female’s arm, which had inconceivably found its way across his shoulders - seriously, who and what was she?

After he rushed back to the ship at break-neck speed for decontamination, Vegeta raced to the palace to answer Frieza’s summons.. He did manage to reach the temporary throne room just in time, but in his haste to enter he only noticed after taking knee that Frieza was not alone.

“Come up here, Vegeta. Meet my father.” The smaller lizard used that tone of voice again. It set off warning sirens in Vegeta’s pounding head, although the prince knew this would also be a good time to play for favour, a thin and dangerous line. When he’d managed to close the distance to the dias, a cold hand clapped down on his shoulder and Frieza presented him with obvious pride. “Prince Vegeta, the promised one. The Golden, the one his Saiyans have waited for; strongest in a thousand years. Isn’t he cute?”

“Hmmph.” The elder Icejin was obviously not impressed. Its fake smile twisted into a disdainful, angry glare that held quite a bit of potency “They tend to grow up, my son. And get stronger.”

“So they do. So they do. Vegeta, how old are you now?” Frieza was pleasant enough about it, so the Prince added the numbers as fast as he could without making a mistake. With all the travelling, he’d missed some months and hadn’t really kept up with the date either. “I’ll be fourteen next month.”

Frieza grinned, as if proving a point. “Fourteen. Remember? That’s the same age his father was he came to... ah... work with me, no?”

“Just about,” King Cold agreed. The larger Ice-jin stared down at Vegeta, once again. “He is smaller, true.”

Vegeta bristled. “That doesn't matter. I’m stronger.”

King Cold offered him a grin. It promised nothing good. “You are right. It doesn't matter. Only strength matters. Va’halan?”

Shocked, Vegeta stared. “That’s Saiyan. You speak Saiyan.”

“Just a little. How would you respond?”

It was another test, he realised; another test to fail. Vegeta cursed. He’d not kept up over the years. Sometimes his team spoke Saiyan amongst themselves, but it was something frowned upon as it kept other personnel out of the loop. Vegeta scrunched up his nose. It was the traditional greeting. Though it meant ‘are you still alive?’ not ‘greetings’. “Ehh…” And the right answer to that was... “Vaalh... weho?”

King Cold’s face twisted into a smirk and it cast its son a look of superiority. But Frieza mirrored that smirk.The lizards stared at each other, father and son locked in silent battle, completely leaving the Saiyan out of the loop. It was maddening, and Vegeta licked his lips in annoyance.

He’d gotten it right, hadn’t he? Vaalh weho. The strong survive... Hadn’t he? “What does that matter anyway?”

“It doesn't,” King Cold agreed, without looking his way. “But it’s the correct answer.”

Frieza bared his teeth at his father, also unwilling to relinquish this odd battle of stares. “Got yourself an accent there though, Vegeta. Where did you pick that up? I think you’re getting rusty.”

Vegeta grunted. Probably from the old man, Nion.. He liked his proverbs, but he spoke coarsely. Not really court material. Still, whatever the lizards wanted, he’d obviously appeased them both. Passed their little test, which was probably the best he could hope for. “Can I go now?”

“Not yet,” the older, overbearing Ice-jin snidely told him, finally glaring his way only for a moment. “I’m hardly convinced.”

Convinced of what? Vegeta wanted to roar, but he dared not. That contest of smirks between father and son had turned nasty, the pair stared into each other’s eyes with intense concentration. Vegeta knew better than to break into this match. He could practically feel the waves of ki ebb off the two powerhouses. Staying in their presence was dangerous, but he’d been specifically told not to leave. This was bad.

Vegeta fidgeted, wondering if perhaps they had forgotten about him, and if he should just slowly try to inch towards the door. But just as he’s managed a first shuffle, Frieza’s voice froze him, too sweet and too kindly. “Tell me, Vegeta. How are you faring with the squad I’ve gifted you?”

“Fine.” The question put him further on edge. It felt like his answer might seal their fate, or his own. He wasn’t sure what the pair wanted to hear, so he kept his tone even. “They do as they’re told.”

“A squad of Saiyans together, for such a long time now.” King Cold grinned. “I bet you’ve grown fond of them.”

Trap! Oh, Vegeta thought he understood now, whatever the monster was implying. “They are a useless bunch, really. But they make good cannon fodder.” He shrugged. “Could be worse, I guess.”

The tall creature’s eyes flashed, and Vegeta didn't miss Frieza’s triumphant grin. The young Saiyan breathed out and congratulated himself on recognising which of the two Ice-jin was the bigger threat.. Yet the creature pushed further.

“What about your planet? Do you miss it?”

Now that he knew the correct way to answer, it was easy. “No.”

“But you do want to be King?”

Vegeta paused, looked back at Frieza. It smiled thinly at him but kept quiet. Ah. This was a hard one. It occurred to him that the pair were playing him, like some good galactic patroller/bad galactic patroller team. He weighed his anwer. He shouldn’t sound too eager. It would just give them leverage, but Frieza obviously wanted him to relinquish his claim. Perhaps that was what the pair had in mind for this meeting? Perhaps... “It is my duty to be king.”

“Hn.” The hulking Ice-jin stepped closer, towered over Vegeta with its horned head, bent down and brought his face close. But apparently he could not find fault with Vegeta this way, because after a long moment the giant Ice-jin stood to fold its arms, then took a slow circle around the young Saiyan. It felt like the giant was willing him out of existence, and it took all Vegeta had to stand firm without showing how small that condescending glare made him feel. After what seemed like forever, the giant sighed. “Fine. you can keep one of the two. But not both.”

“Faaaa-ther!” Vegeta had never heard Frieza whine before. He spun towards the tyrant, unable to keep the fear from his eyes. What other one? Surely, Frieza was not going to trade him in? And if so, for whom? His little brother? Vegeta didn't know why that made him feel sick. Maybe he could go home now? No, no that didn't feel right.

Frieza smiled. “Don't worry yourself little Prince, you will always be my favourite.”

#surviving paradise #vegeta #fanfiction #fanfic #dragonball #frieza #freeza #dbz #dragon ball z #dbz kai

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nappainanotherdimension · 7 years ago

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15!

Send a number for question that muse will answer about mun!15. Fandoms? (and muses opinion about it)

(Oh boy…heads up this is a long post!)

“Uhh…you mean aside from Dragonball Z? I’ve mentioned my thoughts about that Tenchi Muyo! series in the past.” He nervously sweats, knowing that Raxceni-Mun’s into a lot of fandoms, but he doesn’t really know what they are. Nappa’s not very good at remembering the names of things that aren’t important to him.

“Hold on!” The Saiyan leaves to enter what was formerly known as District 9 a.k.a Raxceni’s room. He knows whatever fandom stuff his Mun Lady’s into would be in there.

Boy there is a lot of stuff in there…are fabric roses, skeletons, and a lazy egg Sanrio mascot part of a fandom???

“So there’s this big shrine for something called, The Ancient Magus’ Bride. I don’t know what the story is about, but there’s this guy with a dog skull and horns for a head with a human girl with red hair.” He takes one of the manga off the shelf and reads a little of it. “Oh this is a fantasy manga set in England. Bone-head’s her magic mentor. That’s neat. I think I remember her saying something about this getting a TV series. There’s gonna be a premiere showing the first three episodes in select theaters. She’s going to one of those showings next week.”

Nappa puts the book back. “Okay and next to that is a bunch of books and DVDs that say Revolutionary Girl Utena on them. The girl with pink hair is dressed like a prince and waves a sword around. I like the look in her eyes. She’s got the spirit of a warrior, and I can tell I’d like her personality if I watched this show. Or read these comics.”

“There’s a lot of video games here. Darkstalkers has its own shelf. It’s a fighting game about monsters. I’d rather fight these characters in person instead of pressing buttons on a controller. The characters are silly, but deadly. There’s a game sereis called Silent Hill about a haunted town full of monsters. That also makes me wanna fight the monsters.The haunted town makes monsters based off your fears and your mental state of mind. So I wonder what my monsters in that town would look like? Ib’s a game about a girl trapped in a museum where the art comes to life as monsters. I’ve heard her listen to the music, and some of it is really nice. Mun Lady looks like she’s building a mini shrine for that series in here too. It’s got a unique Tim Burton kind of art style that Mun Lady likes. There’s this other game called Okage: Shadow King. She has some fanart and two copies of this game. So she must really like it. I think she was trying to write a sequel story for that once? It’s a goofy game about a boy who helps this shadow lord guy named Stan get his powers back from fake Evil Kings. It’s another game with nice music, a woman who dresses similarly to Utena and fights with a sword. It also has a Tim Burton art style.”

“The only reason I know what Tim Burton art looks like is because she also is into this thing called The Nightmare Before Christmas. Mun Lady’s heavily influenced by that guy’s older work. She also realized the other day how much a short OVA and manga series called Dragon Half influenced her too. The voice acting isn’t fun to listen to, but it was a funny series. Mun Lady learned about, and became obsessed with continuity because of a joke about it in the second episode.”

The more he looks around the bedroom the more odd things he sees. A one-eyed skeleton knight named Sir Daniel Fortesque from MediEvil. “That guy needs to find the dragon balls and wish for a better looking face!”

A show about alien rock people. Steven Universe? “More strong women fighting and looking after a kid with chosen one powers. Wait…that sounds similar to other things she likes. I know the show references Dragonball Z too. That Jasper’s practically a female fusion of me and Raditz.”

Next to that stuff is something else that catches his attention. “There’s a raccoon hugging a tree with a face, and the tree's hugging him back?! What’d that pin say? Guardians of the Galaxy? Feh, where were these guys when Frieza had us purging dozens of planets huh? THEY’RE NOT MY GALAXY’S GUARDIANS! THAT’S FOR SURE! HA HA HA HA!”

“Mun Lady likes a lot of monsters and aliens. Guess that’s why she likes me so much, huh?” He chuckles softly. “Oh! Kill la Kill was a cool show! How can you not like an action show with strong women fighting in skimpy outfits? That Gamagori guy Mun Lady likes sounds familiar. Heh, it’s because we have the same voice actor in Japanese! He’s also a big muscular guy who’s loyal and endearing just like me! The Lady Satsuki he serves is quite impressive to both me and Mun Lady for that strong, commanding personality of hers. She likes to pair up that girl Mako with Gamagori, but I think Gamagori and Lady Satsuki are more suited for each other. I know she secretly likes them too!”

The more he looks around the room, the more Nappa becomes aware of the fact that Raxceni-mun has a lot MORE fandoms that he’s only vaguely familiar with. While she’s not running out of fandoms, he’s running low on opinions about them. So Nappa starts to get cranky.

“How do you expect me to have an opinion on all the damn things she’s into?! I’m a busy dead guy! Here’s my opinion! Mun Lady likes too many things to talk about in a single post!! I haven’t even mentioned Fushigi Yuugi, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, SGT Frog…ugh! And that’s just anime! There’s more games, and comics, and regular TV shows! Game of Thrones is fun to watch, but that’s the last thing I’m familiar with!”

(Thank you, Nappa. I’m surprised you lasted this long. I think you can see why I can gab so much about fandom stuff on my personal blog. xD)

#Misery Loves Company (asks)#ayekanaru #Muse Questions about Mun meme #(I'm sorry I like so much stuff)#(this is really just the tip of the iceburg)#(old-taku like us accumulate a lot of faves)#(I'm into a lot of old and/or obscure things)#(this doesn't even cover my Alice in Wonderland obession)#(Or how influenced I'm also by The Last Unicorn)#(at the booth at Anime Expo 2012)#(I gushed about how much I love that story)#(and didn't realize Peter S. Beagle was sitting right there at the booth)#(Wish I could have spared the money for his autograph on my copy of the comic)#(One of the big reasons I started watching Steven Universe)#(was because of the homage to Utena with Pearl's combat training sequence)#(being a recreation of the duels in Utena)#(Pearl and Jasper are my faves)#(can you see the pattern in the stuff I like?)#(thank you for this question I'm sorry it's so deng long)#(and so are my tags)

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fanfictionlive · 6 years ago

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Tagging confusion

So, I find myself in a sort of weird spot. See, I was getting ready to write a dbz AU fic where the Saiyans never worked for Frieza and thus were never blown up when I tripped myself up. I was refreshing myself on a few facts here and there, mainly about the Tuffles when I came across the official timeline from the Daizenshu:

Approximately 238 B.C. The Legendary Super Saiya-jin appears and wreaks havoc across the Universe.

Approximately 550 A.D. The first Saiya-jin land on the planet Plant in a mysterious ship.

720-730 A.D. * The Saiya-jin unite and begin a war against the Tsufuru-jin for control of the planet Plant. * The Tsufuru scientist Dr. Raichi is killed. * The Tsufuru-jin are completely destroyed by the Saiya-jin. The Saiya-jin take control of the planet and re-name it Vegita. They adapt Tsufuru technology. * The Saiya-jin begin space travel and meet aliens from other planets.

731 A.D. * The Saiya-jin begin their partnership with Freeza and start conquering planets for sale. * King Vegita marries his queen.

732 A.D. The birth of Prince Vegita.

Around 735: -Relations between the Saiyans and Freeza break down. -Civil war breaks out among the Saiyans on Planet Vegeta.

737: -Birth of Kakarotto (Songoku). -One of the armies of Vegeta conquer the planets Kanassa and Meat. Freeza suppresses the revolt against him formed by King Vegeta. -Freeza declares war on the Saiyans. -Bardock, the father of Kakarotto, dies in combat. -Freeza annihilates planet Vegeta. -Kakarotto escapes the destruction via a Saiyan capsule that lands on Earth. -Between June and August, Kakarotto is found by Son Gohan who renames him "Son Goku."

738: At the age of one, Goku dangerously wounds himself in the head. His natural Saiyan characteristics are lost and later replaced by a gentle personality.

October-November 760: -Raditz, Nappa, and Vegeta conquer planet Shirts.

And I was completely miffed by it. The whole of written, official Saiyan history seemed so smooshed to me, with the Saiyans only having reign over the planet for less than a decade. There was a throwaway line in the 90's Plan to Eradicate The Super Saiyans that the Tuffles treated the Saiyans as 2nd class citizens, and there's an inconsistent time frame for the appearance of the first Super Saiyan happening either 3k years ago or 1k, and I kinda......just ended up jossing my original fic idea to get a notepad and calculator to flub a new timeline together.

Except it didn't end there, because I opened up a notecard taking app and expanded on my rough dates to make a 3k year-long timeline with events and "historical" persons of interest, some canon, some not. It's mostly just headcanons and conjecture on my part, but it leans heavily on the above timeline, just with a lot of the Tuffle stuff stretched out or made to happen sooner so that way the Saiyans have, like, 400 yrs longer to be the sole population on Plant/Vegeta. It serves my fic purpose well enough, so whenever I get back to writing my original AU idea, I have that.

But.

My problem is that, because the way I ended up writing the timeline, it kinda sounds like it's from a Saiyan history codex. I even put in little fake "sources" and contributions from Saiyan and Tuffle historians. It's formatted like a mock-academic text, when in reality it's, like, reverse meta? And I have no idea how I'd go about tagging that. Is there even a relevant tag for it?

submitted by /u/emetokyun [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans https://ift.tt/2SuGex2

#fan fiction #writing #fanfiction #tv show #series #movie #fan #write

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tkreactions-blog · 8 years ago

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DBZ React To Being Locked In A Creepy Room With You

(Mod K)

Scenario 1-

You head home after a long day and as you approach your doorstep, you check the mail in your hand. Inside your stack of bills and advertisements, is a pretty envelope with the word congratulations scrawled across it. You enter your home and set the mail on a small table near the entryway door and tear open the strange envelope. When the paper opens up a shower of confetti sprays in your face. After you blink away the glittery stuff, you peer into the envelope you see a thin sheet of paper. You pull it out to reveal a coupon for two tickets to a courage test. Intrigued, you decide to invite one of the Z fighters to come with you.

Goku

The pair of you enter the first room and the lights come on. The second the room becomes illuminated, Goku gives a loud cry and starts banging on the door to be let out. Before you is a creepy hospital room. The scene reminds you of some creepy horror movie where a couple walks into the mad scientist's lab. A creepy vibe hangs in the air and you turn to look at your companion. The great warrior claws at the door and screams that he doesn’t want a shot. A smile crosses your lips at the sight and wonder how a man that has died numerous times can be so terrified of a shot. You try to calm him and tell him that there’s not doctors and no needles, but you needed to get out of the room. Just as you tell him this, Goku manages to tear the door open and run out screaming about how he didn’t want any needles. You sigh and follow after him.

Gohan (Adult)

The pair of you enter the first room and when the door closes, the space becomes pitch black. An erie feel grows in you and you try not to panic. You sense Gohan’s presence near you and reach out to grab his hand. The young man doesn’t shake you off and speaks quietly. He tells you not to let go and to feel along the walls for a switch. The two of you carefully make your way through the room and feel along the walls. After what feels like hours but was probably only minutes, Gohan tells you he found a door. You encourage him to open it and when he does you find yourself staring into a room full of spiderwebs. Your eyes go wide and you tell Gohan that you prefer the dark. He tells you this is the only way through and gives your hand a squeeze. The rest of your adventure continues with room after creepy room, but you make it out thanks to lots of coaxing and the problem solving skills of your partner.

Bardock

The pair of you enter the first room and hear the door shut. The sound runs a chill up your spine and you look around the room. An involuntary cry escapes your lips and you cling to the warrior you invited along. Bardock rolls his eyes and surveys the scene. Before you is a grisly room filled with fake corpses and blood. Bardock steps over one of the corpses and makes his way to a door on the other side of the room. He opens it and reveals another grisly room. The warrior seems both unaffected and unamused by the endless rooms of death and you spend the day trying to hold your lunch down and clinging desperately to your companion. Once the two of you make it out of the place, you silently vow to yourself never do that again.

Raditz

You practically drag the reluctant fighter to the test of courage place and coax him to enter the first room with you. Raditz sighs heavily as the doors close and a dim light illuminates the room around you. A shriek escapes as you see the floor slither. The room appears to be full of snakes and the shock causes you to cling to your companion. Raditz glares at you and moves across the room while you try not to step on anything that slithers. You and your partner make your way across the room and find another door. Raditz opens the door and walks through it. You shriek again as this room’s floor moves too, but this time it’s rats. Tired of hearing you shriek, Raditz picks you up in a princess carry and takes you through the rest of the rooms.

Vegeta

You had to appeal to Bulma in order to find a way to get the warrior to accompany you to the courage test, but the pair of you enter the first room. The room lights up and you jump back against the wall as you see the glass flooring. Under the glass is a very deep hole and looking across the room, you see that you have to walk across the glass to get to the door. You press closer to the wall and Vegeta glances at you with his condescending smirk before walking to the next door. Before he gets too far across the glass, you hurry to catch up to him and take his hand. The warrior shakes you off as he opens the next door. Before you lies another large pit in the ground, but this time you have to walk across a steel bar to get to the other side. You end up spending your day trying to keep with the warrior who you suspect is having fun watching you nearly faint.

Future Trunks

The pair of you head to the test building and enter the first room. Inside is dimly lit glass maze with flickering lights. Trunks takes your hand and starts leading you through the maze. As you pass the glass panes, the lights catch your eye and you glance over to see a face peering back at you. You shriek and cling to your partner who also catches sight of the face. Both of you quickly move past the glass wall and you notice that all of the glass panes have the creepy ghost-like faces etched into them. You and Trunks hurry through the room and finally approach a door at the far end Trunks opens the door and the two of you rush in. As you examine the new area, your heart races as you see eerie figure in a mirror across the way. Your eyes meet your companion’s and the two of you run hand in hand through the rest of the rooms.

Kuririn

The pair of you enter the first room in the trial and glance around. The room seems pretty normal as there’s a couch, easy chairs, and some book shelves. When the two of you walk to the center of the room, everything starts to shake and the furniture starts to move across the floor. Kuririn grabs your hand and the two of you run to the next room and let out a sigh of relief, but that sigh is short lived as you see that your next room is an optical illusion room. The room has mirrors on the walls and the ceiling is slanted so as you move through the room you feel thrown off center. You and Kuririn make your way through the disorienting room only to find yet another creepy circus style room. By the end of the trial, both of you feel dizzy and have headaches forming.

Piccolo

You have to drag the reluctant man to the courage test and enter the first room. Your breath catches as you enter a dimly lit room with what looks like corpses strewn across the floor. Piccolo looks around, but moves through the room and heads to a shiny doorknob on the other side. Just as he steps past one of the corpses, it growls and grabs his foot. The warrior makes a startled noise and you scream. The two of you run through the room and dodge the grasp of the zombies. After you make it through the door to the next room, the relief you were hoping for doesn’t come. This time you and piccolo are faced with a room full of creepy clowns. The two of you glance at each other and make a break for the exit. By the time you reach the end of the trial, both of you are breathless from running through the spooky rooms.

Yamcha

Your partner is rather excited to join you on the courage test, and he’s the one who basically drags you into the first room. Yamcha looks disappointed as the room you enter is a solid white room. The walls, ceiling, and floor are painted white and there are no windows. As the two of you glance around a dark realization dawns on you. You can’t see evidence of any doors. Yamcha appears to have come to this realization as well and the two of you start feeling along the walls for an exit. Unfortunately for the two of you the walls are smooth and you begin to lose track of where you’ve checked for a door. Hours pass and the two of you never make it past the first room. You reach the time limit and one of the event workers let you and and Yamcha offers to get you some dinner.

#dbz #dragon ball z #goku #gohan #vegeta #bardock #future trunks #raditz #piccolo #kuririn #yamcha

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rad1tz · 8 years ago

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Angsty Raditz Headcanon- Insecurities

Under the cut, just in case:

Raditz is secretly very sensitive and insecure, so he exudes either an air of fake confidence, or releases heavy bouts of sass to cover it up. It’s his best defense mechanism because he knows he’s failed and done so much wrong, but he hates admitting it right away. Unfortunately, his veil of confidence only lasts so long, and if a person prods him long or harsh enough, he will snap. It starts off with anger and forced pride, with him wanting to hurt the individual who hurt him. It’s not in his nature to cry in front of people, but if something hurts him enough, he will absolutely BAWL in private. His worst insecurity is when people demean his skills, and especially if he is called ‘useless,’ or ‘worthless’ by the people he respects. His worst fears are being abandoned, forgotten about, or unloved. This is why he constantly craves attention, especially from his superiors, in which case he would rather receive positive attention and praise. He is absolutely devastated when someone he respects criticizes him because he’s terrified of not being good enough in their eyes.

Other insecurities include his voice (he hates the way it sounds), and he especially hates crying. He associates his tears with weakness, and can’t stand it when they just won’t stop coming.

#angst #anxiety #headcanon #ooc

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lilmissmousey · 8 years ago

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Betrothed (chapter 1)

The air was heavy and oppressive with the mist that covered the river Styx; the black gondola cutting through the glass-still water like a knife. The ripples bobbed to the shore and disappeared quickly, the water returning to its still state. Not much moved here, even the insects refused to venture this far. That was the way of things here. Quiet, dark, and obedient.

The boatman who carried the souls of those who had died to this dark place had finally delivered his last two, and was ready to report back to his master. Tying off his vessel, the black shrouded man followed the worn path, descending even deeper into the darkness. He was a large and powerful man, but even he knew better than to trifle with his master. The being that ruled the underworld was unpredeictable and volatile; being stoic one moment and explosive the next. The boatman had long since bore the brunt of his masters temper, and knew his triggers well enough. So when he entered the master’s chamber, he was surprised to see him looking with quiet, intense interest into the looking bowl.

The master didn’t even seem to notice him, until his baritone voice called him, “Nappa, come here.”

Nappa swallowed; it made him nervous to hear his birth name used. He ducked his head and came to stand beside the ruler of the underworld, “Master?” He asked.

The smaller man didn’t bother looking at him, black eyes still staring intently into the glowing bowl of water, “What do you see?”

Nappa peered over his masters shoulder armor into the ripples. There was a woman. She was beautiful, almost obscenely so. Even other deities Nappa had come across couldn’t compare. Her long hair was an unusual shade of aqua, and her large eyes matched the blue of her loosely curled locks. The curves on her body would make any woman’s teeth clench with envy; the black off the shoulder blouse and red pencil skirt clinging to her. She was standing before a large crowd of people, pointing at figures on a wall. This woman was holding everyone’s attention; surely she was a ruler in her own right.

“Do you see her?” His master asked.

“Yes, my King.”

“What do you think?”

Nappa swallowed. What did he think? He thought it would be nice to bend the woman over, but knew to say such a thing about a female his ruler was looking at was not the smartest idea. He went with a smarter response, “She is attractive. Why do you ask sir?”

“…I want her.”

Nappa bowed slightly, “Any female would be happy to have you; but, she’s a human. Don’t you think that-”

The ruler, though smaller than the boatman grabbed him by the front of his robes, dragging his face down close to his, “I said, I want her. Send Raditz to retrieve her for me.”

Nappa felt the sweat bead on his forehead, “Y-yes sir.”

“Good.” The boatman was released abruptly, causing him to fall backwards a few steps, “Leave me now. Fetch him. Tell him to bring her to me immediately.”

“Y-yes sir.” Nappa bowed far more times than necessary and walked quickly towards the cave opening, leaving his master to watch his back as he retreaded towards his boat.

Left in silence once again, Vegeta, lord of the Underworld looked back at the woman in the looking bowl. and smirked. She had concluded speaking to riotous applause, and her picture with a name had appeared on the wall behind her.

Bulma Briefs.

It had taken Bulma some time to leave the theater, each and every member of the scientific community wanting to shake her hand on the way out; a few even offering her marriage proposals. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy the attention, but it was tiring and irksome. Not to mention she’d already used up an entire bottle of hand sanitizer and smelled like a doctors office.

She walked down the hall towards the parking garage, her black and red Louis Vuitton heels clacking loudly on the tiled floor. Her presentation had gone as well as could be expected; her theory on the mechanics of possible time travel was as of now undisputed and revolutionary. She’d been quick to patent it and was happy she did. No doubt that by tomorrow the three rival companies to Capsule Corp. would be challenging her with authenticity claims. She was ready for them. It was often challenging being the female head of a large science firm, but Bulma was cut throat and not afraid to play dirty.

The electronic doors to the garage slid open, and Bulma reached into her purse to retrieve her keys-

There was a heavily muscled man leaning against her red sports car.

She froze, keys in hand. The feeling of being torn between fear and ogling him openly waging war against one another.

His black hair was long and wild, hanging down his back almost to his knees. Large arms were crossed against his broad expanse of chest dressed in a plain white t shirt and the thighs straining against his jeans looked like they could crush watermelons. The man raised his raybans at her and smiled, “Hey! This is a gorgeous car! I wanted to see who owned it!”

Bulma hesitated, he looked friendly enough, “Oh, thanks. Um, it’s a Porsche.”

“I knew that!” He laughed, “I love sports cars. I figured the person owning it was one of those old farts at the conference today. I didn’t expect it to be a hot babe like you.”

Smiling in spite of herself, Bulma twirled the keys around her fingers, “PFT. Those crinkly old scrotums wouldn’t even know what to do with this baby.”

The man snorted, grinning, “Pretty girl, I like you! What’s your name?”

“Bulma, what’s yours?”

“Raditz,” The large man grinned, flashing his teeth, “I don’t mean to sound forward, but want to give me a ride? This thing looks fast and we can go grab something to eat? Lets leave these old farts in our dust.”

“Sure!” Bulma chirped, rushing forward. It wasn’t often a younger, handsome man like this paid her attention. It was usually someone much older…with a lot less hair. As she came nearer to him though, a sudden feeling of dread washed over her, an indescribable heaviness that caused her to stop a few paces in front of him.

Raditz blinked, pushing his sunglasses on top of his head, “You okay? What’s the matter?”

This man… he was, just off somehow? Bulma couldn’t place her finger on what exactly was bothering her. Raditz spoke like she would expect a man his age to talk, and looked normal; handsome even. Bulma was usually pretty good at picking out dirtbags because she’d dated several. So, what was it?

Raditz’s thick eyebrows knitted together, concerned, “Aw hey, I’m really sorry. I came off too strong didn’t I? Geeze, I must look like such a jerk. I have my own car… if you’d be more comfortable I could drive myself? I meant lunch to be my treat.”

Bulma wanted to feel comfortable, she really did. So she plastered on her best fake smile and said, “Yeah, let’s do that.”

The long-haired man in front of her grinned, “Aw hey that’s great! Thank you for not shooting me down! I’ll just go get my car, I parked one level up-”

The feeling itching at the back of her brain erupted, and Bulma once again felt her heart sink, “How did you get in here?”

Raditz blinked, all innocence and confusion, “What do you mean? I drove in.”

“No,” Bulma said firmly, “You need a special key card to get in here. It was only given to the people attending the conference. I didn’t see you while I was presenting, you’re hard to miss. You aren’t supposed to be here-”

A large hand covered her mouth from behind, and Raditz’s once kind voice now whispered menacingly in her ear, “Listen, you’re coming with me. If you don’t listen, I’m gonna break your pretty, little neck. I’ll get a load of shit for it, but it might just be worth it.”

Heart pounding furiously in her chest Bulma attempted to struggle and break free, but Raditz’s arms were like steel. What had she gotten into? How had he gotten behind her when he was right in front of her face only seconds ago? Why had no one come into the parking garage? The questions whirling in her head were making her feel panicked. She’d taken self defense courses a few years ago, but all of those memories went flying out the window.

In spite of how tightly he was holding onto her, Raditz wasn’t actually hurting her. He chuckled, “Pretty girl, you’re in for a rude awakening.” His large hand moved from her mouth to cover her eyes, and suddenly Bulma slipped into unconsciousness.

Hi there my lovelies! I couldn’t hold in my excitement anymore! I adore all of you to bits and pieces, so I’m releasing chapter one here first before it goes on ff.net!!

I’d love to give extreme thanks and gratitude to @dragondancer28 and @itsmandymo for their support on this fic. Guys, you are the best!!

I hope you all like my newest story!

XOXO

#vegeta #bulma #vegeta x bulma #vegebul #bethrothed #mouse wrote a fic #fan fic buddies #fanfiction #fan fic #I luv you guys!#it'smandymo #dragondancer28

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duhragonball · 4 years ago

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[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (144/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: This story takes place about 1000 years before 66 years after the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[3 November, Age 762. Earth.]

"Luffa! Can you hear me? This is Trunks, calling from the Time Nest!"

"I was wondering when you'd call," Luffa said. "I was starting to wonder if this earpiece you gave me got damaged while I was fighting Nappa."

"You did fine with him," Trunks said. "Gohan and Krillin survived, so history is back on course, but your mission isn't over yet. My father... Vegeta, he's still possessed by that purple energy. You'll have to help Goku defeat him to finish the job."

"Help him?" Luffa asked. She had been standing on a rock formation for several minutes, observing their battle from a respectful distance. "First of all, Kakarot seems to be doing just fine on his own. Second, I wouldn't think of dishonoring him by interfering in his battle. That goes for your father, too. We may be enemies in this situation, but we're all Saiyans here."

"Luffa, you don't understand. Someone already interfered in this battle by altering history. Our job is to balance the scales and put things back to normal. I understand that you don't like the idea of double-teaming an opponent, but it's the only way to restore the timeline."

Luffa didn't budge. Overhead, Son Goku and Vegeta were battling through the air, and their blows sounded like thunderclaps whenever they connected.

"You weren't kidding about Kakarot's training in the afterlife," Luffa said. She pulled a chunk of Saibaman out of her pocket and took a bite while she watched. "He's improved a lot since Raditz. It looks like he leapfrogged Nappa while he was at it. And without Nappa to get in the way, your dad shouldn't be too much trouble."

"You're wrong," Trunks said, his voice growing more desperate. "Luffa, I know how this battle is supposed to play out. My father has an ace in the hole. You must have noticed by now. He's got a tail, but Goku doesn't!"

"So what?" Luffa asked. "He'd need the light of Earth's full moon to transform into a giant ape, and the sun hasn't even gone down yet!"

"He doesn't need the moon!" Trunks cried, "he can make his own--"

"Wait a minute," Luffa said before he could finish. "What the hell is he doing up there?"

High above, Vegeta was ranting and raving about how he was willing to destroy the entire planet to win his fight with Goku. Luffa could sense his energy building, and he brought his hands together on the left side of his chest. At the same time, she could sense Goku increasing his own ki to prepare a countermeasure. But this climactic struggle wasn't what had Luffa's attention. She floated up into the air to get a better look at Vegeta's posture.

"Luffa, you've got to do something!" Trunks pleaded through the earpiece. "Goku barely managed to deflect this attack before, but with that dark energy multiplying my father's power, he won't stand a chance!"

But she wasn't listening to him anymore. All around her, the skies trembled from the intensity of power Goku and Vegeta were preparing to fire at one another, but Luffa paid no attention to this either. She simply flew straight towards Vegeta, and just as she reached him, he launched his attack.

"Gallick Gun!" he screamed as he hurled a column of purple light down at the Earth below. Goku responded in kind with his own energy beam, similar to the Gallick Gun, but clearly distinct. Luffa ignored him completely.

"Hey!" she shouted at Vegeta. "Are you making fun of me?!"

"Wh-what?!" Vegeta gasped as he finally noticed her approach.

Luffa held up her hands to match Vegeta's pose. "Don't screw with me, you royalist trash! I never learned how to do the Galick Gun 'properly', and here you are imitating my style! Right in front of me!"

"That's absurd!" Vegeta growled. "This technique has been in my family for centuries! I've never seen you before in my life. Tch! Why am I arguing with you at a time like this? Who the hell are you?"

"Who am I?! I'm the lady that's gonna tear you out of frame!"

"Begone, woman, before I--! No! No!"

It was this distraction that gave Goku the opening he needed. Luffa sensed a sudden surge of ki energy from below, and Vegeta's Gallick Gun was overwhelmed. In mere moments, Vegeta found himself on the defensive, and finally he was engulfed in Goku's bright blue beam, which launched him higher and higher into the atmosphere.

"Damn youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Vegeta screamed.

Luffa watched him disappear into the stratosphere and extended the middle fingers of both hands to express her farewells.

"O... okay?" said Trunks through the earpiece. "I guess that's one way to do it."

"So is that it?" Luffa said, finally responding to Trunks. "Wait, is he supposed to die in this battle? Were you born before or after this happened?"

"That isn't the problem!" Trunks said. "He's going to roll off of that Kamehameha wave--"

"Kamayhammy-what?"

"The blast Goku just shot at him!" Trunks said.

"Hey, don't get mad at me for not knowing all this stuff," Luffa shouted. "You're the one who wanted me to beat up your dad."

"He's... going... to come back... and transform into a giant ape," Trunks insisted. "You need to keep Goku alive until the others can help--"

"I keep telling you, he doesn't need any help," Luffa said. "And neither do I. After taking a hit like that, Vegeta won't have enough power left to... wait, what is that?"

Luffa's had once been the Legendary Super Saiyan, but her power had been severely limited after an incredible battle on Planet Nagaoka. She had no idea whether this change was permanent, but she had resolved to carry on at least as far as she could to help Trunks. But the problem was more than just a loss of power. Whatever had happened to Luffa had also affected her ki perception as well. And this was a more dangerous affliction, since she wasn't aware of it. Vegeta rocketed back to the battlefield like a rogue comet, completely catching her off-guard.

"You two bastards have pushed me far enough!" Vegeta roared. "As much as the form disgusts me, I can't think of a better way to finish you than to crush you both as a giant ape!"

Luffa was surprised by his speedy return, but she recovered quickly. "Nice try, idiot. It'll be at least an hour before it's dark enough for the moonlight to work, and I can beat you into the ground long before then!"

"Moonlight?" Goku asked. Luffa knew little about the man, except that he had lived most of his life on Earth, cut off from Saiyan-kind. She was beginning to suspect that didn't even know he was a Saiyan until his brother Raditz invaded.

"Oh, yes, you thought you were very clever, Kakarot." Vegeta snarled. "You destroyed this planet's moon so we wouldn't be able to use it against you. Too bad for you that I have other ways to transform."

With that, Vegeta began to yell. He raised his right hand over his head, and curled his fingers as though grasping at the air. Then a globe of ki energy appeared in his hand, and he made a fiendish grin.

"What the hell is he doing?" Luffa asked Trunks. "He put a big chunk of his ki into that, but he can't hit us both with one attack. Is he trying to blow up the planet again?"

"I already told you--" Trunks tried to explain, but Vegeta beat him to it.

"Burst open and mix!" Vegeta shouted as he launched the energy ball into the sky. Luffa expected it to explode, or to fly back down and attack either Goku or herself. Instead, it diffused into the air, and a curious glow appeared...

"It's artificial moonlight!" Trunks shouted through the earpiece. "If you look at it, you'll turn into a giant ape!"

But Luffa already knew. She could sense Vegeta's power rising as the Oozaru transformation took hold. Nearby, Goku didn't change at all. He had no tail, and he also seemed to have no idea what Saiyans could change this way. As for Luffa herself, she could tell Trunks was still talking, and she could hear Vegeta gloating, but she couldn't make out the words over the pounding rhythm of her own heart.

Real or fake, the light Vegeta had created was all Luffa could see. She could feel herself beginning to change. It was that... tightness in her skin, the sensation that always seemed to come just before her body violently expanded in size. Just like the last time.

On Nagaoka.

When her body nearly tore itself apart!

A chill ran through her entire body, and she made a strange noise that might have been described as a wail. And then, just as she felt the effects of the moonlight taking hold, she shut her eyes tightly and averted her gaze. She wasn't entirely sure of her actions. It was like her body was acting without her. Like dropping a hot potato before feeling the heat.

"No!" she gasped. "No!"

"Luffa, what's happening out there?" Trunks asked.

"Nothing! I'm fine!" Luffa lied. She reached for the earpiece to remove it, or at least turn it off. But her hands were trembling too badly for her to get a proper grip. In her frustration, she fired a small ki blast at the side of her head and fried the device. She smelled burnt hair and electronics, but not burnt flesh, so she was satisfied that she still had at least some control over herself.

"It's all in your head, you coward!" she snarled as she tucked her hands under her shoulders. It didn't help. She was shaking all over now. It wasn't just the Golden Ape transformation on Nagaoka that haunted her. She found herself recalling the Tikosi Hiveworld as well. There, the insectoid scientists of the Tikosi conducted cruel experiments on her. One in particular was designed to trigger her Giant Ape transformation, only to cancel it partway. They would turn her back and forth, or simply leave her suspended between forms. She thought she had worked past that trauma, but Vegeta had proven otherwise.

Not far away, she could sense Vegeta chasing after Son Goku. Trunks had told her that the mission depended on her keeping him alive. Instead, she found herself running in the other direction, desperate to get control over herself. As she moved, she fired wildly in the direction of the false moon, but it didn't seem to do any good. Vegeta's technique was a substitute for a genuine moon. It only made sense that it couldn't be destroyed as easily as the real thing. She crouched on the ground and cursed herself for lying down in a fetal position while she took stock of her situation.

"Shouldn't have blasted my own ear like that," she grumbled between rapid breaths. "But at least the other one still works. And I can open my damn eyes as long as I keep my back to that light. That's easy, right? So why won't I open my eyes? Oh, you know why not, dammit! Dammit!"

She wished that her wife was here. It had taken so long for her to go to Zatte when these episodes happened, and sometimes Luffa wasn't sure Zatte had been able to help much, but at least it had been better than gutting it out alone, and this was worse than just about any nightmare she'd had. But Zatte was gone, maybe forever. Just like Dr. Topsas, and all of her other friends, and her parents, and her son... And it wasn't difficult to blame herself for that situation. She had been too weak, too afraid, and too unworthy, and so she had lost them all, one by one. And now Trunks was learning that lesson just like everyone else. All that mattered about her was the Super Saiyan, and that was over now. Without that thing, she was nothing special, just a woman teetering on the brink of madness.

Instinctively, she curled her tail between her legs, and felt its fur in her still-trembling hands. In her darkest hours, Luffa had taken solace in her tail, both for the Saiyan pride it represented, and for the intensive effort she had put into training it as a child. From a young age, she had believed that if she could overcome the weakness in her tail, she could rise above any other obstacle. It was why she had taken such offense at Saiyans like King Rehval, who encouraged their people to amputate their tails. She could hear Goku's agonized screams, even at this distance. Vegeta had kept his tail, and it was clear which one of them had made the right decision.

There was a simple solution to her problem. Luffa could cut off her tail, here, and now, and then she could fight Vegeta without worrying about the fake moon. It wouldn't be that difficult. One sharp twist and it would all be over. It would hurt, but she had suffered far worse pain in her short lifetime. It would betray her Saiyan pride, but Luffa didn't have much of that left anymore. Rehval had shown her just how despicable the Saiyan race could truly be, and Raditz had shown her that there were even lower depths they could sink to. Was this why Goku and Trunks had no tail? Had they learned the same painful lesson that Luffa was contemplating now?

Goku's howls grew louder, and Luffa's fear began to give way to rage. She wanted Vegeta to pay for this humiliation, and if mutilating herself got the job done, then maybe it was worth it. And then she heard another scream.

It was Vegeta. She could barely sense any power from Goku at all, but he had used what little he had to fire a parting shot.

"Hah!" she whispered through clenched teeth. "Kakarot, you dog."

Luffa rose to her feet.

*******

"My eye! How dare you!" Vegeta roared.

At the ape's feet, Goku lay broken and defeated, but still defiant.

"Heh! Somethin' for ya to remember me by," he gasped.

Vegeta raised his massive paw to crush his enemy, but then he cried out in pain once again. When he turned to see who had attacked him, he couldn't help but laugh.

"You again!" he chuckled. "And here I thought you had lost your will to fight, woman! Maybe you have. If you transformed yourself the way I have, then you might stand a chance. But it looks like you've come here to die instead!"

Luffa pointed her hand at him, still keeping her eyes shut. Her tail waved behind her back. "I don't need the Oozaru form to beat you down, Vegeta," she said. "Maybe I'll take out your other eye and finish what Kakarot started."

"You filthy scumbag!" Vegeta snarled. "You dare to challenge me, but you're too frightened of the moonlight to even open your eyes! When I'm through with you, I'll make what I did to Kakarot seem quick and painless!"

Luffa waved her hand to encourage him to attack. "Kill me if you think you can kill me," she said darkly. "It's your only chance."

He rushed towards her, just as Luffa expected him to. The fear had not subsided, nor had the trembling in her body, but Luffa still had enough in her to keep the Giant Ape busy. She dodged his blows, and while she couldn't see which of his eyes was injured, it was easy enough to deduce it from his movements. Luffa made sure to stay on his blind side and fired as many ki blasts into his flank as she could muster.

It wasn't about beating him. She would if she could, but she knew the goal now had to be to stall him. From Trunks' perspective, this battle was history, and it had already been fought and won without Luffa's involvement. All she had to do was keep Vegeta too occupied to kill anyone that he wasn't supposed to. All she had to do was counteract the dark energy that still churned inside of him. Luffa could sense this on top of his Saiyan power, and she knew that this alien power was her true enemy.

As she ducked and dodged, she fought to overcome her terror. It was just like it had been with Nappa. Each time he hit her, she felt herself getting stronger. Against Vegeta, she doubted that she could survive many of his attacks, so she focused on mental strength instead. Each blow he failed to land was a boost for her confidence.

This was the wisdom she had gained from her tail. This was why she couldn't cut it off, even now, when it made all the sense in the world. As a little girl, she had forced herself to overcome her weakness. Not all at once, like some brazen Super Saiyan smashing her way through entire armies, but one step at a time. She would survive this Vegeta, and then she would overcome him, and then she would surpass him. That was the way of her people. Maybe they had all forgotten, but she still remembered.

And she always would.

*******

[February 25, Age 850. Toki Toki City.]

Luffa returned to the Time Nest victorious, but badly hurt. In the unadulterated history, the fateful battle between Goku and Vegeta was a mismatch to begin with. Between the dark energy amplifying Vegeta's strength, and Luffa's mysteriously diminished power, restoring the timeline had proven just as tricky.

"I'm just glad that fat guy with the sword showed up when he did," Luffa grumbled as she wiped the blood off her face. "Your dad's one stubborn bastard, that's for sure."

"I'm sorry. I should have retrieved you from the time jump," Trunks said. He reached out to help Luffa up off the floor.

She nearly waved him off, but thought better of it and accepted his help. It wasn't because she wanted it, but she suddenly realized how little she knew about Trunks, or this world he had dragged her into. Helping him had been almost automatic for her, after years of diving headlong into adventures as a Super Saiyan, but the fight with Vegeta and Nappa had forced her to admit that those days were behind her, at least for the time being. This new situation called for a more cautious approach. She wasn't sure she could trust Trunks, but it might work to her favor to get him to think he could trust her.

"Thanks," she said, hoping that it sounded sincere.

"It's the least I can do," Trunks said. "I wish I could join you on these missions, but I need to stay here in case I get a bead on whoever's behind this."

"Don't worry about me," Luffa said. "I may look pretty banged up, but I got a lot out of that last scrap just now. My power isn't back to normal yet, but with a few more fights like that one, and I'll be ready for anything."

"It's not that," Trunks said. "You were chosen by Shenron, so I know you can handle it. It's just... well, I wouldn't mind fighting with my father one more time, even if it's on opposite sides."

"I wouldn't know," Luffa mumbled. She had killed her own father long ago, and found the experience disappointingly anticlimactic. She wasn't sure if she envied Trunks or pitied him.

He led her out of the Time Vault, but before they could leave the Time Nest, he heard a noise from above, and they looked up to find a large bird soaring in the upper reaches of the Time Nest. It suddenly occurred to Luffa that the entire structure of this place resembled an enormous birdcage floating in some sort of green cosmic haze.

Then they heard the click of heels on the cobblestone road that connected the Time Vault to the portal leading to the city, and they looked down to see someone walking towards them. It was a woman, even shorter than Luffa, with mauve skin and coral pink hair. Her clothes were similar to Luffa's compression shirt and baggy pants, but over this she wore a purple jacket with a yellow sash tied around the waist. The cut of the jacket was unusual, as the lower section billowed out around her lower legs, almost like a dress. The upper section stopped at her torso and wrapped loosely about her arms, exposing her shoulders completely. Her neck-length hair was styled in a way that revealed her pointed ears and a pair of large yellow gems that hung from her lobes.

"He-loooooo!" she said cheerfully. As Trunks nervously returned her greeting, she noticed Luffa, and waved to her.

"Er, this is the Master of the Time Nest," Trunks explained. "She's the Supreme Kai of Time, and a very important person."

As he said all of this, the Kai stood behind him and began posing and making silly faces. Luffa had no idea how to take this.

"Kai," Luffa said. "I've heard about them before. They're like the kami, who oversee different planets, right?"

"Sort of," Trunks said. "Only the Kais are on a level above that. And the Supreme Kais are higher still. She manages the flow of time throughout the entire universe, keeping a close eye on history and protecting it."

As he said this, the bird that had been circling above them chose this moment to alight on the Supreme Kai of Time's head. It was at this moment Luffa noticed that the bird was about the same size as the Kai. Before she could ask what the bird was called, the Kai angrily shooed it off of her head and started scolding it like a child. The bird cooed in reply, and it was impossible to tell if it understood her words or not.

Luffa looked at Trunks, who seemed even more confused, if such a thing was possible.

"Well, like I said, she's an important person. Just trust me..." he said with an awkward chuckle.

Luffa shrugged and nodded indifferently. When it became clear that the Kai was no longer paying attention to them, Trunks resumed escorting Luffa to the city.

*******

Luffa's second visit to the hospital was much shorter than the first. The Namekian healer, Pulmon, rejuvenated her just as quickly as before, and this time she didn't need to sleep. After her discharge, she and Trunks began to roam the walkways of Toki Toki City

"I'm still waiting to hear back from Admin about your quarters," Trunks said. "It's probably going to take a while to get you back home. The Dragon Balls won't reactivate for at least six months, and that's assuming we won't need them for some other crisis."

"Don't worry about it," Luffa said. "I... I don't really have any pressing business waiting for me. Besides, I can always take a spaceship."

"We, uh, don't really have those here," Trunks said.

"You can travel through time, but not space?"

"Pretty much," Trunks said. "The Supreme Kai of Time created Toki Toki City as a base for the Time Patrol. Most of us are from Earth, and Earth is pretty isolated from the rest of the universe."

"That's pretty much what Pulmon told me about his own people," Luffa said. "I was asking him about The Camelian Empire, trying to get a handle on how far it is from Earth, but he said he'd never heard of it."

"The Camelian Empire?" Trunks said. "I've never heard of it either. Is that where you're from?"

"No," Luffa said. "I was born in interstellar space. Never spent too much time in one place. I lived on a few planets for a while, but none of them were what you'd call landmarks. But Camelia's a big deal, with a lot of star systems under their control. If I knew where that was in relation to Earth, I could get my bearings. But it's starting to sound like this is a pretty isolated part of the galaxy, or maybe a whole other galaxy."

"We'll get to the bottom of this, Luffa," Trunks said. "But I appreciate you helping us out in the meantime."

"Don't mention it," Luffa said. "You've got Saiyan blood yourself. So you know I'd go stir crazy without some action. What I don't understand is how even the Saiyans I've been fighting could be so different from the ones I know," Luffa said. "Nappa claimed that your father was the result of generations of breeding, like he was this ultimate warrior, but he wasn't that strong. If my ki wasn't all out of whack, I could have taken care of them both without any trouble. So what was he bragging about?"

"Well, my father was the strongest Saiyan of that era," Trunks said. "From what I've heard, back on Planet Vegeta--"

"Yeah, Nappa mentioned a Planet named after your old man," Luffa said. "I've never heard of it. It's like there was this whole other population of Saiyans completely cut off from mine, with their own kings. Could this be connected to whoever's been changing history?"

"Hmm... Well, it's not impossible," Trunks said. "But the temporal incursions we've been seeing are all confined to a fairly recent period, a few decades at most. I think the enemy would have to go back pretty far to change the Saiyan homeworld. On the other hand, I've gotta admit, I know a lot more about time travel than Saiyan history. Wait a minute... of course!"

"What is it?" Luffa asked.

Trunks drove his left fist against his right palm as he spoke. "I should have thought of this before," he said. "We have a research division in the Time Patrol. One of them could probably clear this up for us. They might even be able to track down some planets you're familiar with."

"Perfect," Luffa said. "Where do we find these guys?"

Before Trunks could answer, there was a beeping noise from inside the sleeve of his jacket. He held up his left hand to reveal a wristwatch communicator.

"It's the Supreme Kai of Time," Trunks said. "She must have discovered another change in history." He touched a button on the face of his watch and said: "This is Trunks. Go ahead."

"What's the big idea walking out on me while I was dealing with Tokitoki?" replied the agitated voice on the other end of the call. "That's extremely disrespectful, you know!"

"I--! I'm sorry!" Trunks said. "I just... it seemed like you were busy, and I needed to see to Luffa's injuries and--"

"What sort of example does that set for a new recruit, huh? Did you even think of that? Look, just get back here, okay? I need to show you something!"

"R-right!" Trunks said. He switched off the transmission and hung his head. "I need to go," he said with a sigh. "It sounds like something important. At least, I hope it is..."

Luffa began to crack her knuckles. "If it's another mission, that suits me just fine," she said. "I need to blow off some steam."

"No, if she didn't want me to come alone, she would have said so," Trunks said. "And this might just be a waste of time. You can talk to someone at the Research building while I handle this." He pointed to a box-shaped building in the distance. "Number 731. You can't miss it. Just tell them I sent you. You can find me at the Time Nest when you're finished."

With that, he turned and ran, leaving Luffa by herself. She shrugged, and made her way to the structure. As she approached, she stared at the large glyphs on its wall and tried to memorize them for future reference.

*******

The inside of the Time Patrol Research Corps building looked completely different from the high-tech exterior. The walls were stone and ceramic tile, and the lighting was produced by a series of long tubes that hung from electrical fixtures on the ceiling. Along the halls were wooden doors with square glass window panes. As Luffa couldn't read the room numbers or the placards, she simply peeked into each window, looking for an unlocked office with someone inside. When she finally found one, she couldn't see anyone through the window, but she could hear voices from within. She took five steps inside, and discovered a man and a woman leaned up against a desk, making out.

"Whoa!" Luffa said as she averted her gaze.

"Uh! Can I help you?" the man blurted out awkwardly.

"Right! Yes!" the woman added. "Can I help you? Um, also?"

They were fully dressed, but Luffa was unsettled enough that she held up her arm, as though afraid to look directly at them. "I... I need a historian?" she said. "Someone who specializes in Saiyan history, maybe?"

"Oh! Um... well I'm a dietitian," the man said.

"I don't actually work here," the woman said. "I'm with maintenance. Here to fix..."

"The wiring."

"Right! Yeah, the wiring. I should... really get back to that."

"Look, I just need to know where your history department is," Luffa said, "and I'll let you get back to... whatever you were doing."

"Dewar's still here, isn't he?" the woman asked.

"Probably. He almost never leaves his office. He's down in the basement. Room Number 034."

"Look, let's just assume I can't read," Luffa said. She didn't particularly want either of them to show her where to go, but she didn't want to waste time either.

"It's the room with the foil on the window," the man said. "You can't miss it."

Luffa muttered a few words of gratitude and shut the door behind her. Two minutes later, she stood before an identical door in an identical hallway, only this one was underground, and the door had aluminum foil covering the window. She could hear people talking and laughing inside. Having lost a good deal of patience, she didn't bother knocking, and simply walked right in.

She found an alien inside, sitting in an old leather office chair. He looked mostly humanoid, save for a thick tail that he had threaded between the back of the chair and the seat. His feet were propped up on a bookshelf. They looked like the toes of a bird, or some sort of dinosaur. His hairless head had an odd shape to it, like a nut with a slight point at the top. And his skin was a pale blue color. He didn't even notice Luffa's entrance. His attention was firmly on a small video monitor that was sitting on top of a file cabinet.

"Ha! That's what you get, Queen Trowel! Next time, listen to your advisers instead of cutting out their tongues! Huh? Hah?"

He cupped his hand over one of the rimmed holes on the sides of his head and leaned closer to the screen. "What was that, Your Majesty? You say there won't be a next time, because Sergeant Prunshir shot you a hundred times? Ohhhhh! Who could have seen that coming? Heh heh heh!"

"Are you Dewar or not?" Luffa asked, startling the alien. In his excitment, he dropped the box of snacks he was holding.

"Holy crap," he yelled, gasping at the chest of his tank top. "Oi, what's the big idea? The sign on the door says 'Do Not Disturb', doesn't it? Can't you read?"

"No, I can't," Luffa said.

"Oh." He put his thumb on his chin and considered the door behind Luffa. "Maybe I should look into a pictogram. Something with a picture of a guy knocking, because apparently nobody knows how to do that anymore!"

"Oh, I know how to knock," Luffa said, "I just don't care. I need a historian. Trunks sent me here."

"Trunks?!" he asked. "Welllllll now, this just got very interesting. The big shot Time Patrollers don't usually call down here for us little old researchers." He reached for a holster that was lying haphazardly across his desk, and as he stood up to wrap it around his waist, his tail snaked into one of the desk drawers and produced a pistol.

"What's the gun for?" Luffa asked.

"What isn't it for?" Dewar said as he held it up and admired the craftsmanship of it. "I'm nowhere near as strong as Trunks, but I've done a few field missions from time to time. Never let it be said that Dewar, pride of the Research Corps, can't hold his own in a fight. But it never hurts to have a little insurance, eh?"

"Pride of the...? They stuck you in the basement," Luffa grumbled. "Look, this isn't a field mission, at least not yet. I just needed to pick your brain for a minute." She pointed at the monitor he had been watching. "Maybe you can pull up some images from history, like whatever you're working on here."

"Oh, that?" Dewar said with a chuckle. He reached out with his tail and pressed the "off" button with the very tip. "This is just a TV set. I was watching some old dramas from Ryno VII."

Luffa put her hand over her face and shook her head.

"What?" he asked. "It's an important window into their culture!"

"I need to talk to someone about Saiyan history," Luffa said. "Do you know anything about that?"

"Saiyans? Wellllll now, the plot thickens, eh? Let me just get my notes and I'll join you both at the Time Nest."

"No," Luffa said. "Just you and me. For now. I mean... Trunks has a lot going on, right? No need to pull him away from what he's doing."

"Hmm, I guess he is a pretty busy guy. Fine, where's your quarters?"

"I don't have a room assignment," Luffa said. "I don't know what the holdup is."

Dewar threw his hands up. "Those dopes in Admin!" he said. "Always taking their sweet time. Looks like I'll have to bail them out again!"

Before Luffa could ask what he meant, he reached into the pocket of his jeans and withdrew a device that looked like a large pen. He then powered up a computer terminal in the corner, and plugged the pen into an access port on the side.

"What are you doing?" Luffa asked.

"Admin goes through all these silly algorithms to assign living quarters," Dewar explained. "It's all a lot of nonsense. Somebody tried to rig it to match roommates by blood types, which only slows things down. Fortunately, I, er, acquired a master access fob a while back. Oh, I told myself I'd only use it in an emergency, but the bureaucratic wheels turn so damn slow, and there's so many poor souls like yourself who cry out for help. I can't just leave you on the streets, now can I? What did you say your name was?"

"Luffa," she groaned.

"Ah, nice name. Haven't heard that one before, but very Saiyan. There we are! See? Now this was exactly what I was talking about. They've got a dozen openings, but they're waiting on results from some personality quiz that you probably didn't even know you were supposed to take! Wellllll now, I'll just fix that. Favorite food...? Cup noodle, of course. Tree you identify with...? Redwood sounds good."

"What's a redwood?" Luffa asked.

Dewar shrugged without looking up from his work. "Never seen one before, but I'm guessing they're red. And... blood type is XJ3. A minute to process the data, annnnnnnd... Bingo!"

He snapped his fingers and looked back to Luffa. "Piece of cake! Come on, Luffa, let's take a look at your new home at..." He looked back at the screen to read the address, and his mood quickly deflated. "Oh... oh nooo..."

"What is it?" Luffa asked.

"Er, nothing! Nothing to worry about!" he said cheerfully. "I just noticed that you've got a roommate! Nothing to worry about. I'm sure you'll get along just fine. Jayncho's a little anti-social, but once you get to know her, she's a really nice lady! Heh heh! Uh... yes."

He shut off his computer and gestured for Luffa to follow him out of the office. As she followed, Luffa noticed that he was still carrying his sidearm...

NEXT: Fitting In.

#dragon ball #fanfiction #lssjluffafic #luffa #trunks #vegeta #goku #dewar #chronoa #toki toki #toki toki city #earth

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