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baronessvonglitter · 3 months ago

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if love be rough with you, be rough with love | chapter 16 | "all i want for christmas is you"

Dave York x f!Reader

Word count: 5,473

Summary: Years later, you run into Dave on Christmas Eve.

(Spoilers are in the Warnings under the cut so please peek responsibly)

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, Time Skip, TW for physical altercation (pushing, choking, pinning down), alcohol consumption, talk of weapons, hinting at reader being killed, mention of chemical paralytics (NMBA's), surprise pregnancy (happened after Chapter 15) and revelation of paternity, mention of wetwork, reader has C-section scar, wears a dress and nail polish, masturbation, pussy pronouns, p in v sex, quickest enemies to lovers ever, and one Christmas Eve marriage proposal (if I've forgotten anything please do let me know)

Author's note: I defrosted Mariah Carey earlier than anyone would like her to be, and yes I was listening to this song as I wrote. I don't care. It's one of my favorite Christmas songs ever and nobody can convince me otherwise 😜

Series Masterlist

dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑

Six Years Later

You step out of your car into the cold St. Louis night. It's Christmas Eve, and the streets are lined with snow. Brightly lit storefronts boast presents of all kinds, the electric glow of the holiday season luring in last minute customers. You keep your hands in your coat pocket as you walk, eyes scanning the perimeter.

Pour Decisions, the bar you've owned for the past couple years, is filled with its usual patrons, the atmosphere friendly and charged with holiday cheer. Checking to see that the staff is doing well and everything is in order, you ask for an old-fashioned, enjoying the warmth that spreads through you as you sip the whiskey cocktail, sitting at an inconspicuous table in the back and looking around at the one thing you can really call your own, the only place that doesn't hold bad memories.

That's when you see him enter your establishment. The man who claimed to have loved you with all his heart. The man whose life you destroyed. The man without whom you wouldn't be where you are right now.

Walking to the bar and sitting by himself, drinking to take away the pain, is Dave York.

It feels like all your breath leaves your body yet you give an audible gasp. He doesn't see you, doesn't even appear to be looking for you.

In your darkest nightmares he returns for you and kills you. You carry that fear with you. You've been preparing for it since the day your plane left for London years ago.

Emergency exit to my right you think to yourself, a habit you've formed in the six years since ruining his life. Glock, switchblade, syringe, you do a mental checklist of what you have on you.

You don't know whether to stay or leave. You're rooted to the spot, keeping an eye on him, poised to take whatever action necessary.

The jukebox finishes "Baby, It's Cold Outside" and moves onto "All I Want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. You cringe at the sudden mood dissonance. This song would've expressed your feelings for him, once upon a very long time ago, but now it's almost comical. You want each other in a different way now: gone, even if it means dead.

Dave sighs and takes another sip of his drink, clearly lost in his own thoughts. He looks at the other people around him, some smiling and drinking to make the pain of Christmas a little more bearable, others in town for friends or family, eagerness evident on their faces.

He'd give anything just to be in their place right now. To be happy. To be able to smile like he used to smile. And it was all taken away from him by you.

Suddenly he hears someone calling out your name over the music.

In fact, he's been waiting for it. His head jerks up to see where you are, but he can't find you. His eyes scan the bar from face to face.. until finally he sees you. You're sunk low in your chair but he knows you immediately. He knows those eyes that have haunted him for years.

You're nodding and talking to your friend, and the moment you nervously glance around you meet Dave's gaze. It feels like pinpricks all over your body.

For one moment the world stops. All of the moments of his time with you come rushing back as he looks at you. All of the joy he felt with you, all of the pain you caused him. For a moment he allows himself the memory of your pliant body beneath his, your soft, slender throat beneath his grip, thumbs pressing just hard enough on your windpipe to make you cum.

What a waste, he thinks, keeping his cold gaze on you.

You talk to your friend a little longer then finish your drink, order another, and down it.

Now you have liquid courage to face him.

You approach him but it feels like you're moving underwater, your limbs fighting the current.

And there he is. There you are. After six years apart. He hasn't changed much in all this time. He's still handsome. A few gray hairs here and there, and a slight scruff of facial hair when he'd always stayed clean shaven. Still wearing a suit like he's just left the office, the subtle scent of his cologne wafts to you. It suits him. But you force the thought away. You take stock of your own looks: burgundy sweater dress, black boots, hair styled differently from how you used to, perhaps in the hopes that disguising yourself would throw him off your scent, confuse him and leaving him chasing his tail.

"Fifty thousand dollars," you tell him. "I'll give you fifty thousand dollars to leave."

He says nothing, just staring at you as he hears the offer.

Fifty thousand. That's all it would cost for him to let you go. Fifty thousand dollars to spare your life.

But..

..is that what he wants, really?

"No," he says firmly. "You can't make it up to me with fifty thousand dollars."

Your heart sinks to your stomach. "Then name your price. Whatever it is I'll pay it."

Dave takes a long sip of his drink as he considers your offer. For a moment he's tempted to accept it, to end this nightmare once and for all. But..

..no. It's not a question of money.

"The price is a hell of a lot higher than that," he says with cold finality. "You destroyed my family and you left me without my soul."

In your time on your own you've learned to be assertive. You're no longer the shy, simpering girl he used to know. "You did that to yourself, Dave. I only held up a mirror to show what you really are. Besides," you give him a devious smile, your words dripping with venom, "we both know you have no soul."

"Maybe I don't," he meets your gaze with unwavering ire. "But neither do you.. you destroyed everything good and beautiful that we had."

He takes another long sip, savoring the taste and savoring this moment where he's dissecting you. "You can try to blame me. You can try to make yourself the victim of this story. But you're not the victim. You're the monster. You're the one who brought darkness into my life when I didn't deserve it. When I gave you nothing but my love and my faith.. you used them to destroy everything I held dear."

"I disagree." You hop onto the barstool next to him, unafraid of him. "The real victims are my father, who you killed, and your wife and kids, who you betrayed. We both lost our families, Dave. I evened the score."

His eyes bore a hole into your soul as you speak. "That's the thing you can't seem to understand, sweetpea. Life isn't a zero-sum game. One person's loss is not another person's gain. You didn't 'even the score' by getting your revenge."

His voice turns cold and harsh as he speaks the truth. "You made a choice to try to destroy me. That's something I can never understand. And you'll never be forgiven for."

"I'm not interested in your forgiveness, David," you correct him. "You're the one in my city, in my bar, looking for me. With you, there's always an ulterior motive. Out with it."

And then he smiles at you. It's a cold, hard smile. "I came here to see you. So we can end this."

You stare into his eyes and wear a sardonic smile. "You mean, so you can end me."

"Yes," he answers simply.

You consider getting another drink, but two old-fashioneds on an empty stomach has you feeling good already. Maybe that's why you're not afraid.

"My late husband owned this bar, and now it's mine," you say, looking around with pride and wistfulness. "I met him here, years ago."

"Husband," he repeats in a dull tone. "Did you ruin his life too?" he asks.

"Well, he is dead," is your deadpan reply and you hate that your heart misses a beat when Dave smirks in reply. "It would be bad for business if you were to kill me in my own establishment, at peak holiday season," you remind him, proud of your practical tone of voice.

"You may be right about that," Dave admits. "The customers would scramble out of their seats, trample each other to get to the exits. In this day and age you know I'll be caught on camera. And that's not good for my.. 'business'.. either. But," he adds with a grin, "that doesn't mean you're safe."

"I've been looking over my shoulder ever since I came back to the states. I was surprised you didn't follow me to London. In the meantime I've just been waiting for the day when you would come and exact your revenge."

"That's exactly what I've come to do," he says coldly. "I made a promise a long time ago that I would never forgive you."

He takes a long drink and looks at you as if he's seeing you for the first time. "And now, the time has come."

You can see it in his eyes. You can see the darkness that now resides there, different from the one that used to excite you. It's Dave, but it's not the Dave you used to know.

A chill goes through you. You nod, knowing this day is long overdue. If your father faced death at the hands of Dave York, so can you.

You put down your glass, the whiskey still on your lips. "I'm glad it's you. Poetic that way." You stand up from your seat, surprised that your knees don't buckle automatically. "Outside," you tell him.

In the darkness of the alley behind the bar, your coat offers no protection from the cold you feel in your heart. The back street is empty. You look up at the stars in the night sky, feeling small in their midst.

This is it.. the end of it all.

He looks at you and sees the same calmness that he saw in your father. He sees that you've accepted your fate without fear, and he can't help but admire that.

"You know.. I thought about it a lot as I came here," he says. "What I wanted to do to you when I found you.. and what I wanted you to feel in your last moments."

You languidly turn to him, as if in a dream. "So tell me."

"I wanted to make you suffer. I wanted to see you beg for mercy, to see you plead for your life." His smile is cold and cruel. "But you're not scared, are you, sweetpea? Either you're as tough as I believe, or your self-preservation instincts are for shit," he sneers. "Even now, you're calm.."

Your placid countenance belies your shivering heart as you stand against the wall, deep breath in, deep breath out. "How are you going to do it?"

"You really want to know? You trust me that much?"

"You're the best, right? I'm glad it's you." You smile a little, shaking your head. "I loved you from the first time I saw you, Dave. I've loved you all this time. I love you right now."

He almost laughs. It's comical to hear you talk about love at a moment like this. "And I've hated you for all these years. I hate you for what you did to my family. I hate you with every fiber of my being.."

His voice turns to a whisper. "And I hate you because I still love you."

A brief smile flickers in your eyes. "As you once told me.. 'If this is love, we're both fucked.'"

Dave seems reluctant now, as if he's had a change of heart. You love each other, despite everything, and even now you're willing to let him just take your life, snuff it out with a single blow.

"Don't disappoint me, York," your voice pierces his thoughts like an icy blast. "Don't tell me you've come all this way for nothing. Not when I've been getting ready for you."

In an instant he pins you to the wall, his weight pressing you into the bricks as his hands wrap around your throat. Your breath comes in labored gasps as you fight to free your arms and legs. Despite your efforts, Dave is physically stronger. He's methodical, using his strength to subdue you rather than overpowering you with brute force. You can feel the desperation rising, your struggle becoming more frantic as you wrack your brain for any possible means of escape.

In a moment of clarity amidst the chaos, you find a small sharp object in your purse - the syringe. With a burst of adrenaline you jab it into the soft area right below his ribs, keeping your thumb off the plunger.

He lets out a sharp grunt and loosens his grip, staring dumbfounded at the needle sticking out of him, your finger hovering over the end, ready to press the danger into his bloodstream. "Let me guess," he says, his breath warm against your face. "Propofol? Rocuronium bromide?"

"Air," you answer with a winning smile, your voice hoarse from his choking you.

He swallows thickly, face pale even in the wintry moonlight.

You've never felt a surge of power like the one shooting through your veins right now. "I'd say my instinct for self-preservation is pretty fucking good."

Right as you see that angry spark in his eye you take advantage of the temporary adrenaline rush and push him away from you. Dave stumbles back, pulling the syringe from his torso and tossing it away right before you crash into him again. You both topple onto the cold wet pavement, grappling with one another, and it doesn't escape your realization that it's all an inverted display of the way you couldn't keep your hands off each other years ago.

You're unaware that the contents of your purse have fallen out in the scuffle, until Dave pins you down and notices the knife, the gun, neither of which you bothered to use on him just moments before. Then the bright light of your phone screen illuminates its presence in the shadowy alleyway.

Your wallpaper is a picture of you, holding a small boy who's smiling as you're kissing his cheek.

Still beneath him, your stomach lurches and you scramble for phone. "Give that back!" But Dave doesn't listen.

"You have a child?" he asks, completely bewildered that he hadn't thought of you having a life apart from the history you have with him. You'd mentioned a husband, but not a child.

The photo is lovely, taken recently as he guesses from the similar hairstyle as you have now. He's a beautiful child, with his mother's eyes. The love between mother and son is palpable, something pure and sweet that he has only experienced with his own children. It takes the wind out of him. He looks at you and all of the anger, all of the hate and rage he felt towards you seems to dissolve like salt in water.

Your heart is near palpitating as you take the phone from him, gently wiping the falling snow from the screen, taking a tiny moment to admire the photo for yourself. "The last night we spent together in that little motel room.. before everything happened.. a couple months later I found out I was pregnant."

It takes every ounce of courage you have to confess this to him: "This is Benjamin.. your son.."

Dave is paralyzed by your revelation, utterly unable to move or even breathe as he stares at the photo, puts the pieces together. He sees his features in his son, the perfect combination of you and him in another being, a little boy who is the culmination of your love.

He sees you as he never saw you before. You're not the woman who betrayed him and destroyed his family. You're the woman who gave him a son, a part of himself that he never knew would exist.

"He's beautiful," he murmurs, drinking in this moment, helping you to your feet as you struggle to stand, asking if you're all right but you don't answer him.

You've never envisioned how this would go. Not even your late husband knew Ben's real paternity, just that you needed stability to raise him. A part of you is on edge. You've just revealed the person who means the most to you in this world, and in one moment Dave could take it away.

"He just turned five in September," you tell him, "That night.. that terrible and wonderful night before I left you.. something good came from all of it," you tell him.

He nods. "I guess it did." He looks at the picture once more. "Where is he?"

You take a moment before answering. "He's at home. A friend of mine is watching him."

"I want to see him."

"You already have kids, Dave. Or have you forgotten them?"

"Don't go," he pleads as you start to walk away. Around the corner you can hear the holiday music blaring from the bar. "Last Christmas" by Wham!

"I want to see him," he says, catching up with you. "Please."

Being a mom has made you soft. And the truth is you spent the majority of your energy in your short scuffle with him moments ago. "Follow me home."

"Leave whatever weapons you have in the mailbox."

You wait on him, arms crossed, ensuring your safety before you let him beyond your threshold. Dave puts his semi-automatic pistol and a knife. He had these on him all the time but didn't use them..

"Now you," he says, watching as you put your own gun and knife into the mailbox. One corner of your mouth lifts up into a half-smile as your eyes meet, realizing you've both thought alike.

Inside your home it's cozy. A brightly lit Christmas tree glows with warm golden light in front of the main window in the living room. Dave looks around, taking it all in: the decorations placed with love and care, the presents piled under the tree for Ben - his son - to open the next morning.

A woman, clad in a soft gray sweater and jeans, comes out from the hallway, carrying little Ben in her arms. "He couldn't sleep without you here," she tells you, her glance jumping quickly between you and Dave.

You take him from her, letting her know you're home for the night and giving a quick introduction to Dave. "This is Paige, she helps me with Ben from time to time."

They exchange hellos, a little awkward under the circumstances. You take Ben in your arms, and he immediately wraps his arms around you. You wish Paige a happy Christmas and she leaves.

Now it's just the three of you. "Can I hold him?" Dave asks.

You hesitate before nodding, asking Ben if he's okay to go with him. Watching him with his father you can see the resemblance, plain as day. "Is he what you looked like as a kid?" You ask curiously.

"I think so," he smiles, still amazed that he's holding his child, a piece of him that he left behind with you for so long, your love made real.

Ben is bathed and put to bed. Dave knows everything about him by now: his birthday, favorite foods, his friends in his kindergarten class, the names of his stuffed animals and favorite superheroes. All this Dave takes in with the same interest he had when his daughters were younger.

He even reads him a bedtime story while you watch from the doorway, watching a scene you never imagined would come to life. Ben has Dave's smile, his hair. It's uncanny. You remember when you first started working for the Yorks, the first night you walked in on him reading to the girls before bed. That was the moment you fell in love with him.

It might be happening all over again.

After he's asleep you sit in the living room, sipping coffee spiked with brandy.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" he asks.

You sip your drink, letting it warm the chill that's going through you, hoping it'll dull the overpowering emotions coursing in your veins. "I was afraid you'd come after me, kill me, and take him away."

"Is that what you think of me? That I'd kill you for our son?" For a moment he actually looks hurt.

"I don't know what to think of you."

"I deserve to be in his life," he says stubbornly, and you get a peek of the old Dave from before. "We can put the past behind us. We can get reacquainted. We can be what we should have been all along. He belongs to both of us. And I want to be here for him." He pauses, seeing the photos on the table and walls: you and Ben throughout his young life: on a beach somewhere with pure white sand, at a zoo posing in front of the zebras, and in every picture it's obvious he's loved.

"You did a good job with him, sweetpea. Our son is happy."

"He was my reason for going on," you tell him. "I was still in London when I found out I was pregnant. At first I thought it was the worst possible thing that could happen, but when I really sat down to make a decision I realized there was no other option but to keep him and love him. I knew a miracle could be reaped from the awfulness we sowed."

You raised him alone, mostly, with some help from your mother, who of course asked who Ben's father was. There was absolutely no way you could tell her, so you simply said it was a boyfriend who'd wanted nothing to do with the baby. After getting your Master's you found yourself here in St. Louis, met Liam who cared for you and your child, and lost him to sudden illness only a year after you married him. And every day you did not stop thinking about Dave.

"I assume you're still involved in your.. activities?" you ask him.

He takes a deep breath, mentally going over the jobs he'd done in the past six years, of which he'd taken more than before you'd left. Not only had he needed the money, but he needed something else to keep from thinking about you.

"Yes, I am," he replies. "I know you were hoping for a different answer than that."

"I was hoping for a different answer, but I wasn't expecting one," you tell him. "And the situation with Carol and the girls.. did she leave you? Did you work things out?" You hate that this is the answer you dread the most.

"We're divorced now," he says curtly. "And the girls.." an actual smile melts away his bitterness. "The girls are great. They're teenagers now. We've worked out a custody arrangement and we're keeping things civil for their sake. They adapted better than I thought they would."

"Do they all hate me for what I did? For my part in the affair?"

He pauses. "It's complicated.. the girls know why you left. I haven't given them any details and I doubt Carol has told them anything they shouldn't know. But you shouldn't blame yourself. It takes two to tango. I'm just as guilty."

You've finished your coffee, and just as you start to rise from your chair you pause, giving him a smirk. "Dave.. calling yourself 'guilty' after everything you've done is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard."

He takes your hand as you try to walk past him. "What would you say if I said we should be together for Benjamin's sake?"

You should have seen this coming, should have known he'd attempt to ingratiate himself into your good graces to keep some control over your life. "I've already done that. I married my late husband so that Benjamin could have a father.. I'm not going to go into any more relationships under false pretenses."

There's something more he wants to say, something that he wants to get across to you. "A lot of my life is gone. Lost. Because of what you did."

"I know. And I can say the same about you. We took each other's lives away."

"But you," Dave continues, "you gave me this. All of the happiness you took away, you gave it back to me in a way I never would have dreamed." He takes your hand in his. "And what if this isn't false pretenses? What if I'm asking because I know.. because we know, you and I are meant for each other?"

He knows he's getting ahead of himself. He's letting his emotions and his desire take over.

But you shake your head. "You only want me because I'm the one left standing in the ashes."

"You're partly right," he agrees. "I want you because you're right in front of me now. That's just natural, I'd say. But I always wanted you, sweetpea," he says with total honesty. "You were always the woman I loved."

"Fucked up people always love other fucked up people," you remind him. "And you and I are the most fucked up people I know,. Weren't we just about to kill each other in an alley?"

"Maybe you would have killed me.. but you didn't. And I could have killed you.."

"I get it, I get it," you playfully roll your eyes. "Am I your first failed mission?"

"Yeah, but.. definitely worth it."

He manages to get a smile out of you, and as he pulls you close he rejoices that you don't pull away. When he brings his lips to yours for a kiss, you don't stop him. You come together as fluidly as if you'd never been apart all this time, and you kiss him back hungrily, having missed his taste.

In the bedroom your appetite only grows stronger as you unbutton Dave's shirt, running your hands over the warmth of his chest. He lifts your dress over your head and you continue to unwrap each other. Your eyes take in every inch of his frame, seeing that he hasn't changed much in six years. His side job keeps him fit and he's kept his little belly that you've always found so attractive.

He reaches for you, takes your curves under his touch and gently kneading your soft flesh. "I missed you so much.." he whispers as you gasp with pleasure. "Missed what's mine." As his hands trace your skin he discovers the small scar on your lower abdomen, nearly hidden by the softness of your own little belly.

"What's this?" he asks, noticing that his touch doesn't seem to register there.

"It was Ben," you explain. "I had to have an emergency C-section."

His fingers trace over the scar, imagining the pain you must have gone through, the fear you must have felt. "I should have been there with you."

"I'm not made of glass, Dave." Breaking from him you lay back on the bed, legs parted as you begin to touch yourself, lifting your eyes to meet his dark gaze as your fingers continue their pleasured work across your delicate folds.

"Open wider," he says in a low command, crawling over you on the bed, watching intently. "Make yourself come."

He follows each dip and swirl of your fingers, the tips painted in red glitter lacquer, as they brush across your clit, disappearing into your already drenched cunt.

"How does that feel, sweetpea?" he asks, his voice husky with lust.

"Good," you moan. "But not nearly as good as you." You reach for him, and though he wants desperately to dive into your sopping wet hole, he practices control.

"Not yet," he says gently, chiding you. "I said, make yourself come."

He watches as you add pressure to your clit, your pussy swallowing up your middle and ring fingers while your other hand palms your breast, twists and pulls your nipple. He's never seen you more gorgeous, chasing your pleasure. The scent of your sex is in the air, beckoning him, and it takes every shred of his self-discipline to keep where he is, cock in his hand, lazily stroking as his dark eyes dance with the vision of you spread out before him, coming at last.

He takes his time about getting inside you, and though you're slippery enough to handle him it's still a tight fit after years apart. He's careful until you ask him not to be, and then he fucks you with smooth, steady thrusts, bottoming out as you arch your back, crying out his name, the sound of your flesh slapping together a perfect symphony with your moaning and his praise in your ear my good girl, missed this pussy so much, needed her all this time, and she needed me, gonna tame her, make her mine all over again.

He moves with you, as if he's connected to every beat of your heart. This is the only thing in the world that feels right, no matter how wrong it is. You can't not love him, You've never felt more like yourself, realizing that he brings it out of you. The air between you becomes electric, frantic, your movements desperate and wild.

"Come for me, sweetpea," he whispers, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. "Let me feel this tight little hole get her fill of me."

It's a fucking relief when you finally come, the moment prolonged as he continues to move, stimulating your clit beyond your point, only letting up when you forcefully shove his hand away. Watching you come is a miracle made true, something he never thought he'd get to experience again, and he comes with the final clench around him, keeping him there, keeping him home.

You're both vulnerable, perhaps for the first time, with each other. There are no more secrets to be had, no more devastation to wreak. Just you and him, and an ocean of possibilities before you.

"Can you forgive me?" he asks, meeting your eyes. "For what I did?"

It's weighed heavy on your mind since the day you learned the truth, and you've come to realize that all the tragedy did was allow you to move on, even if it brought you to have to face your past more clearly.

"Yes," you answer. "I do forgive you. And now you have to forgive me."

It's easier to do that now, now that the walls you both built up have been knocked down. "I forgive you," he echoes. "We'll never bring it up again."

There's a clarity you never imagined you'd receive, a gift that's long overdue after the years of being in limbo. You snuggle to him, pressing a kiss his throat.

"I thought about you every day, sweetpea," he whispers. "And maybe I'm crazy, but.. marry me."

You're at a loss for words. You open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out. "What.. what did you say?" you ask slowly, usure if you even heard him right. "Did you ask me to marry you?"

"I did," he says assertively. "So? Will you marry me?" A little smirk crosses his lips and there's a light in his eyes that you've never seen before.

"I'm just so.. stunned," you sit up against the headboard and he does the same. "Why would you even want to marry me? Don't you remember everything that happened?"

"I remember everything. I remember it every day. But like you said, 'fucked up people always love other fucked up people' and look at us: still crazy about each other even after we've ruined each other's lives. There's nothing for us except to be together."

"You sound so certain," you look at him with a conflicted smile. "Are you really sure this is what you want? To wake up every day and remember what happened and who we are?"

His smile lights up his whole face. "I'm counting on us to remember who and what we are. If we forget everything that happened between us then we've learned nothing. But now we're standing in the ashes of our old lives and look at us: we won. If anything, that just proves we're supposed to be together. We know all the bad parts of each other and we still choose to be here."

Watching him, and listening, you become convinced. You can't ignore the truth of what he's saying. "I'm gonna marry you, Dave," you tell him, your voice full of love and joy.

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taglist: @untamedheart81 @guelyury @auteurdelabre @darkheartgatita

#dave york #dave york x f!reader #dave york x you #dave york fic #dave york x reader #dave york smut #dave york x female reader #pedro pascal #pedro boys #pedro pascal character headcanons #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal cinematic universe #enemies to lovers #if love be rough with you be rough with love #ao3 series #ao3 smut

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shadowdaddies · 1 year ago

Note

Oh please make a fic of the funny reader and Cass. Imagine they've been friends for so long and are secretly pining for each other but the tension gets worse as time passes by. Imagine the almost kisses, the almost confessions and the longing and one day they give in and the bond snaps. AGHHHHHHHHHHH IT WOULD BE SO CUTE!!!!! the FLUFF, the angst ugh ITS A NEED MAAM

Okay I got a few requests to make the Cassian x funny reader head canons into a fic so here y'all go. This is when the bond snaps💜

Life of the Party

Cassian x Reader fluff

It was another night at Rita’s where you and Cassian designated yourselves as the party starters. While you took up residence on the bar top encouraging everyone to get on the dance floor, Cassian paid off the band to play the perfect music to set the mood.

Rita’s was the most lively it had ever been, as was any place where you and Cassian went together since you’d joined the Inner Circle as a spy and emissary. Despite the demanding job, you felt more yourself than you ever had been since you came to Velaris. You were close with everyone in the IC, but you’d connected with Cassian immediately.

He understood your sense of humor in a way that others didn’t, he was always happy to have a wild night out or a quiet night in with you. You’d never felt that way with anyone in your life, but as coworkers, you ruled out anything beyond friendship. Besides, Cassian was the handsome, renowned general who could have any female he wanted.

You looked over from where you stood on the bar to see Cassian motioning you over to the dance floor where he danced with Mor and Feyre. Mor grabbed your hand, smirking as she spun you right into Cassian. You laughed as he jokingly bowed to you as if for a formal dance, returning his goofiness with a curtsy of your own before the both of you began dancing wildly. Others around you were staring, but you never cared about that with Cassian, as you laughed to the point of tears having fun with your best friend.

Once you’d worked up enough of a sweat to warrant a break, you went over to the bar to get water for you and Cassian and met him at the booth where he now sat with Rhys, Amren, and Az. The booth was too small to comfortably fit you, so Cassian pulled you into his lap, the both of you giggling as you slung your arms around his neck. “Oh, my hero. Thank you, sir knight for saving me from having to stand,” you said with a dramatic flair as you pressed the back of your hand to your head in your best “damsel-in-distress” impression.

You had just adjusted to a comfortable spot in Cass’s lap when he leaned in to whisper something to you, but he was cut off by a dramatic groan from Amren. “By the Cauldron, you two, get a room!” she huffed out, rolling her eyes as she stood up to join Mor and Feyre. Azriel and Rhys shared amused looks with each other as you sputtered out your lame excuse. “You guys know it’s not like that, we’re just friends right Cass?” You said, turning around to look at Cassian, waiting for him to crack a joke.

Cassian let out a soft, forced laugh as he gently sat you down in the now open space beside him. “We’re just friends, of course,” he said with a soft smile to his brothers.

“Oh, well in that case, would you care to dance General?” You turned to see where the unfamiliar voice was coming from, to see a stunning high fae female approaching Cassian, looking like a lioness on the hunt. Your vision turned red as you heard a vicious snarl, and all heads turned towards you. You turned beet red as you realized the snarl came from you, and the realization of your feelings crashed into you. Heart pounding and tears forming in your eyes, you searched for the quickest escape from the booth when Cassian grabbed your arm, holding you back.

You reluctantly looked in his eyes, and a gasp left you as lightning shot through your body. It was as if you could see the invisible string that connected you to Cassian. His expression reflected yours, as though he just had the same realization. Your mate. Time froze as you stared at each other, unsure of what to do next. You were snapped out of your daze by Rhys’s laughter as Az slapped money in his outstretched hand. “I told you so,” Rhys said to Azriel, smirking at you and Cassian as he spoke.

You whirled around to face them. “You had a bet on if we’re mates?!” Az scoffed, “not if, just when you found out.”

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andy-wm · 1 year ago

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How to explain JK & JM and their endless coincidences?

Easy really, none of them are coincidences.

I'll admit that I'm not the quickest at reacting to what's going on around me. My poor ND brain takes a while to absorb it all and put the pieces together, but then I can't stop thinking and thinking and thinking about all those puzzle pieces.

Gotta get those thoughts out of my head to make room for new ones LOL... so here they are.

Everything is not a coincidence 🎶

I hear Jimin singing this in my head.

No, of course its not.

We've seen how intricately they plan their cocepts, outfits, stages and releases. We saw it in detail with the Artist Made Collection and the Photo Folios. The processes they went through were thorough and thoughtful. They considered everything.

For Jimin and Jungkook, aligning their message is nothing new. For years they've been coming out in matching clothes, jewelery, and accessories - including the cute and silly matching Pororo bandaids at the puma fansign in 2016 when neither of them had an injury (JK's idea, according to JM).

Sometimes the matching outfits are identical...

Other times the alignment is more subtle....

But it's so frequent, we barely comment these days.

When they aren't matching, they're swapping. Their shared wardrobe is legendary - especially for someone who doesn't like other people wearing his clothes (JK) and someone who has assured us they have different clothes (JM).

But I digress....

The gist is, we know they pay attention to the mesage they send with their clothes and styling.

AND...

They know WE we pay attention too - they know we notice it all. Every.Single.Thing.They.Do.

AND...

They tell us they know all the ARMY jokes and memes. They do and say things that correspond too closely to ARMY's conversations on socials to be a coincidence.

Everything is not a coincidence 🎶

So with the visual themes of their solo releases being so astonishingly similar, anyone with eyes in their head (and a moderately functional brain and heart) can't think it's accidental. And JK and JM can't possibly think they're being subtle either.

And I honestly don't think they're trying to be subtle. Not at all.

I think they are demonstrating very clearly that even when they're apart, they're together. They're always aligned*.

They share ideas, they work together (they certainly don't work in secret) and they agree on what they, together are choosing to show.

Everything is not a cooincidence 🎶

We know they've shared ideas for this because at no point has either of them shown suprise at seeing the other wearing a similar outfit, holding a similar pose, or adopting similar aesthetics. They're hyping each other's music and promo work, and sharing their pride and enjoyment with us. (JM posting on insta to celebrate JK's #1 on the hottest 100 was NOT for JKs benefiit. It was for ours 💜)

It's not a matter of who did it first or who copied...all of this they created together.

They're showing us their individual strengths and telling their own stories, but using an aesthetic framework they've planned together. The visuals overlap is enough to to unmistakablly link their narratives together without restricting their self expression.

It's genius really.

They're living their 'I am you, you are me' dream right now, but in such a way that they are also without a doubt independent individuals as well.

Personally I love this. I love them.

I love that they can contribute to one another's creative processes, each produce something wholly unique to themself, and still have visually connected stories.

One day this will become their shared history. With a brief glance, anyone who looks will be able to see how much they supported and cooperated with each other, and that they chose to reflect their personal relationship in these works.

This would be a very conscious decision - to be visibly connected, not just for the few months their solo work is on the charts but for as long as the record of BTS's existance remains.

And that will be a long, long time I am sure 💜

*They're always aligned, i believ, with regards to their goals. For their work but also in terms of their relationship.

I think they trust one another implicitly, both professionally and personally. I think they're honest but kind, and they have each others backs. They are each other's highest priority and I hope it will always be this way for them 💜

#park jimin #jikook #kookmin #jeon jungguk #국민 #jungkook seven #true love #relationships #jimin face #shared aesthetic

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siconetribal · 5 months ago

Text

Beyond the Bookshelves (5)

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Anger, Tension, Somebody's in big trouble

Summary: You’re a Resource Management Specialist at S.H.I.E.L.D. normally referred to as “The Librarian”. You’ve been assigned the nightmarish task of digitizing all the physical resources currently owned by the agency, with a few new computers and one extra helper.

A/N: Sorry this took too long. I had a lot of work to catch up on post Covid-19. I hope you enjoy!

Please comment/like/reblog. If you’d like to be tagged moving forward, please let me know! (If I missed ant tags, please let me know, I'll add you right away!)

The lovely banners used in this fic are from @cafekitsune.

If you’re new to the story, please check out the master post for the rest of the chapters.

The golden sun gave way to evening shadows as time ticked onwards. Loki sat crouched in the bushes, breath heavy, sweat dripping down the sides of his face, and blue eyes scanning the dark dense foliage surrounding him, looking for any signs of his opponent. His heart was pounding against his chest in a rhythm that seemed far too loud in the silence. Seconds felt like hours as he waited. The distant rustle of branches had him holding his breath. They were close.

“You search East, I’ll go West, and you go North.” The voice was just loud enough to make out the instructions. “They have to be in here somewhere.”

“He’s a lot harder to find than I thought.” The other grumbled. The heavy weight of reluctance was music to Loki’s ears.

“I told you he was not someone to take lightly. He was trained in warfare and is a master strategist, quick on his feet.”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you, Goldilocks! You sing his praises to the high heavens every time you get.”

“Tony,” the leader, Captain America, hissed loudly. “Lower your voice, or you’ll end up giving us away.” The silence that followed was enough to let Loki know that the method of communication had changed.

I must get in touch with the Snowflake and hawk. He quietly slipped through the trees until he was able to see at least one of them. The tin man. Loki eyed the bright red and gold suit as it moved forward. He could easily take him down now, proving he was able to handle it on his own. But that would lead to failure in this practice. A frown tugged at his lips as he continued to the meeting point.

“Were you able to find them?” Clint’s voice came from above. The younger prince looked up to see him perched on a tree branch.

“Yes, they’ve spread out to find us to the North of us. The overly patriotic leader is heading West, my brother to the East, and the Tin Man further North.”

“The element of surprise is ours if we work together. Who is the closest?” Bucky stood up from the rock he was sitting on.

“The Tin Man relies heavily on his suit to scan the surrounding area, we can use that as a means to lure him into a trap. The next best target would be the Star Soldier, leaving Thor for last if we wish to go with the quickest route. It would be unwise to prolong any fights to preserve our strength.”

“They’ve got strength and firepower, but they don’t take terrain into account. We can use that to our advantage.” Clint hopped down to join them. “Tony first?” The other two nodded their heads.

The blaring sound of an alarm echoed through the room as the forest that once surrounded time vanished, revealing the large empty hanger where the training session took place. The computer voice announced the winning team of the exercise, much to the chagrin of Tony Stark.

“Beginner’s luck,” he grumbled as Captain America and Thor openly congratulated Loki, Clint, and Bucky for a job well done.

“If that’s the case, I’m on his ‘beginner’ team from now on. I’ll never have to worry about losing.” Clint snickered. “That can’t have been just an hour, though. How long did that run?” He frowned, looking up at the holographic screen that displayed the details.

“Four hours?” Thor raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“That took a lot longer than we anticipated, but it was a good session.” Steve let out a slow whistle. “I’ll need to read through the notes for the meetings I’ve missed.”

“Anyone who had a meeting will be stuck reading.” Bucky heaved out a heavy sigh at the boring task. As Clint and Tony contributed to the conversation, Loki silently stared at the times listed. Something about it bothered him, like a constant nudge at the back of his mind begging to be identified.

What’s wrong with any of it? The start time is correct, and the duration adds up to the end time. I don't have as many meetings for the next couple of days due to the changes in mission plans. What could I possibly be missing? The small dips at the corners of his lips grew into a proper frown, his eyebrows knitting together. There was something he was missing.

“Well done everyone, that was an excellent session. I’ll send out the details for reviewing the footage with the rest of the Avengers on a later date.” The lead trainer’s voice came over the speakers.

“Sounds good, looking forward to it.” Steve waved to the control window before leading them all out.

“Loki, aren’t you coming?” He nearly snapped at Thor for breaking his thoughts. He was moments away from realizing what was nagging at him, but it was lost to now.

“Coming,” he followed the rest of them out. What could I have possibly forgotten?

Y/N glanced at the clock for the umpteenth time. According to the schedule she had, Loki was supposed to be here over two hours ago. It was nearing three, and she was growing more and more irritated with the lack of respect.

If there was some kind of emergency, they would’ve announced it right away. Sure, training can run over by a couple of minutes or even an hour, but three? Is this his way of telling me to eff off? That he hates me for whatever reason? Which I don’t even know why he would! He's the one that's been ignoring me! I thought being raised as a prince comes with etiquette training, was common decency removed from that curriculum or was he trained to be a prickly porcupine? There has to be something, Thor didn't ignore me, he even admitted that Loki was better at devising a plan! But I highly doubt that claim right now.

She hit the refresh button on her email for the hundredth time, another desperate attempt to give him a chance to explain, only to find no response waiting to be read. She would give him a piece of her mind the next time she saw him. That handsome face grew more devilish with each passing minute of no response.

“I get that the task isn't a top priority, but a sliver of decency and respect for your coworker would be nice! I rank above him for crying out loud!” She forced her hand to let go of the computer mouse or else it would have been the victim of her frustration, smashed into the desk or thrown at the closest wall. “Deep breaths, Y/LN, deep breaths. There is clearly a logical explanation, and he will tell you all about it the next time he is available. Things happen, not everyone checks their emails all the time. After he explains himself, I'll ask for his and Thor’s numbers for future contact.”

The ring of the door was music to her ears. A much-needed distraction was here, and she could now avoid self-imploding and over thinking.

“I'll be right there!” She put on her best smile and shoved everything else into the chest at the back of her mind. There was nothing she could do except wait. Putting her best foot forward, she stepped out of her office to greet the patron.

“Librarian.” Her smile nearly dropped through the floor at the smooth, accented voice. There was only one person she knew with that voice, and he was at the top of her hit list right now.

“Loki, how nice of you to finally arrive.” She tried to sound as pleasant as possible. She would finally know what happened. Yes, any minute now I’ll know it all. Any second, he's going to just open up. Floodgates bursting open, telling me exactly why he came so late, which’ll explain the lack of notifying me sooner. She silently stared at him, expecting him to respond. Nothing came. When he turned away, she quickly spoke up. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Don’t you have something to say to me?”

“No, why would I have something to say to you?” The raising of one eyebrow and the slight scoff she heard in his tone was the last straw.

“The library is closed, leave.” She pulled the last bit of her calmness to avoid trouble.

“No it isn’t, it’s open until,” she cut him off at his haughty tone.

“Until I say it is. This library runs on my command. I say it’s closed, now get out.” She forcibly turned him around and pushed him towards the doors.

“That is arbitrary and,”

“Oh, now you have plenty to say? Maybe you can take this time to think about what you should be saying to me. Breathe some air and touch some grass, or smack your head against a wall, I don’t care what you do! Whatever it is, it can’t be here. End of discussion.” She gave one last shove to force him to step over the threshold. “Oh, and don't bother coming back until you’ve finally remembered. You’re hereby banned until further notice. Good day, sir.” She slammed the door shut in his face and sharply turned on her heel, stomping back to her desk. “Jarvis, you heard me. Loki is banned from the library until I say so. I don’t care if he’s poofing in or climbing through a duct, you alert me right away and tell him to leave or else he will be forcibly removed.” The nerve of him to just blatantly disregard my time and forget his promise! I may have asked for his assistance, but he agreed on his own accord!

“Understood,” the computer voice responded. “Loki, the second prince of Asgard and Avenger, are forbidden from entering the library until cleared by Director Y/LN, the Librarian.”

Tags: @vbecker10 @huntress-artemiss @softestqueeen @thegodofnotknowing @princess-ofthe-pages @firedrakegirl @rcailleachcola @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lotrefcp @lwtannie @jainaeatsstars @msdjsg7 @tom-hlover @kneelingformyloki @gruftiela @gigglingtiggerv2 @kats72 @mischief2sarawr

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plusvanity · 2 days ago

Note

Vargelle question! How does Varg handle Pelle's self harm with cutting and also eating and health wise?

I wrote about this in my fic a lot, but I'm very happy to share the ideas I have here 🖤

Trigger warning for these subjects:

When it comes to sh, it's a very sad and overwhelming situation. Varg is well aware of how addicted Pelle is. He knows that by c*tting, Pelle releases stress, anger, tension, and frustration, so in one way, it's a tool through which Pelle numbs his negative feelings but it also allows him to 'feel something' in days in which apathy is inescapable. So, although it's a highly destructive coping mechanism, Varg cannot ask Pelle to just stop, at least not directly because relapse it's inevitable and if Pelle relapses (which he does a lot in the beginning), he would feel like he disappointed his lover.

So, Varg tries to find other ways to occupy Pelle's mind when he feels like hurting himself. They take long walks through the forest, talk about whatever trivia they bring up, or work on writing music together. Pelle would come up with lyrics to express how he feels, and Varg would come up with riffs. If the urge is too strong and Pelle feels like really giving in, Varg would just hold him in bed, caress his hair and kiss him gently until the day finally passes and they both fall asleep. He knows that love can heal and cure a broke heart, so he tries to show Pelle that he's not alone and he is deeply cared for.

When Pelle relapses, it's heartbreaking. Varg would help Pelle clean and bandage his wounds. If Pelle wants to talk about what happened, they talk. If not, Varg doesn't push. He knows that progress is not linear and it's not Pelle's fault if he slips off track. He doesn't want to put pressure on Pelle, so Pelle changes for him exclusively, like at Varg's order. That would only be like playing pretend he doesn't want that, he wants Pelle to get better for real. His main strategy is to give his lover enough reasons to see for himself that life can be worth living and being alive can be a joyful experience for both soulmates.

He encourages Pelle by being proud of him regarding his progress, and this really is something because Pelle's self-esteem is so low that he can barely believe Varg when he says 'You've came a long way'. But he does, and he finds motivation to keep getting better.

Pelle needs a potent distraction in hard times and Varg is always there to provide what Pelle needs. He has no choice but to learn to be patient and optimistic. He needs to be the anchor for both of them when Pelle can't care for himself. This is the only way out of misery.

Regarding Pelle's ED, this is just as tricky as the cutting problem. You see, all of these behaviours are highly addictive, compulsive, and obsessive. Nothing changes overnight, unfortunately, but in time, progress can be made.

Varg himself doesn't have the healthiest relationship with food, so on one hand, he kind of understands Pelle, but on the other, he's lost in what to do. He's lucky, though, because he's very observant and intuitive when it comes to the one he cares about.

When Pelle was at his worst, starving for days, there would be no way to make him eat anything. When somebody is severely emaciated and refuses food, you don't think about the best nutritive resources you can give them, you think about HOW you make them stay alive RIGHT NOW. Varg would brew tea for Pelle and add a lot of sugar or honey in it because glucose, although zero nutritive, gets absorbed into your body the quickest. It immediately gets into your bloodstream and boosts you with a terminal amount of energy you need to survive in the moment. (When you get hospitalized because of prolonged starvation, they won't give you food because most probably you won't even be able to take it in, so the first thing they do is to put you on glucose IV). Pelle would hate that tea, thinking that Varg just slipped too much sugar in it, but he would drink it because it's warm and it's not solid food, so it shouldn't be that bad. Right? This is not a long-term solution at all, but it's a start because it's going to take a lot of time and effort to help Pelle change his perceptions about himself and life.

Whenever Pelle has unbearable stomach aches because he really has to eat something, he would usually go to the kitchen when nobody sees him, to eat in a hurry his 'safe food' (cottage cheese or something soft to ingest in general) and leave. Varg knows how anxious and awkward Pelle feels if he's caught eating, so he makes sure to stay in his room reading or doing whatever to allow his lover to eat in peace. This way, he tries to make Pelle feel more comfortable around him, like he doesn't have to hide his chaotic eating habits.

In time, Pelle naturally becomes less reluctant about food. He doesn't get triggered by Varg eating in his proximity or things like that. If Varg offers him pizza, he refuses and Varg doesn't insist. But he will ask again and again the next time.

The thing about eating disorders is that it's a very isolating disorder. To eat is not only a basic need but a social thing also. One way for Varg to combat it is to help Pelle feel comfortable around food again. Sometimes Pelle accepts that pizza slice that is offered, sometimes not, but slowly he accepts to eat his 'safe food' around Varg. The most important thing is: do no stare, do not tell him how much to eat, do not make jokes about how rushed he eats (that's a common thing for ED people). Varg acts normally and minds his own business. He keeps Pelle engaged in conversations when they both eat so Pelle doesn't have to think about regretting eating. This way, Varg also tries to make Pelle associate food with conversations (the social element) like any other regular things in his life. Just like with c*tting, it is an agonizingly slow process, but it pays off.

I think I waffled enough, and I don't know who bothered to read this to the end, but thank you to whoever did .🖤

Another thing that they do when they feel highly stressed or in a bad mental place is making love. It's all about the energy and the frustration that needs to be consumed, so instead of burning down a church or sl*icing into one's arm, soft sex is a better option.

I would probably waffle even more, but I think it's enough. If you have any other specific questions about those two, or any other of my ships, feel free to ask. I always love talking about them!

#ask response #pelle ohlin #varg vikernes #the man who loved the corpse #vargelle

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celandeline · 10 months ago

Text

Summer of Like // Farleigh Start x OC (31)

Farleigh and I fly back to England for Venetia’s funeral. I book us a hotel room a short drive from the church it’s being held at for two nights - the quickest turnaround time for a flight back home. Neither of us want to stay there longer than we have to.

Dressed head to toe in black, we sit at the back of the church. The pews are scattered with people - most of whom I don’t know. I spot some of the Henrys near the middle, and of course the Cattons at the front. I’d sort of expected Elspeth to greet us when we arrived, but so far no one’s spoken to us. Farleigh doesn’t seem surprised at all.

“Do you know who all these people are?” I mutter under the music of the pipe organ so that only Farleigh can hear me.

“James and Elspeth’s friends, mostly.” He mutters back. “I don’t know about those girls over there though.” He nods to our left.

I subtly turn, glancing in the direction he nodded. I recognize a few of the faces - girls from Cambridge that had only pretended to be friends with Venetia because of her family name. None of them liked her really - they just liked her allowance. I scoff louder than I mean to, and a few of them turn to look at me.

“Cambridge groupies.” I say.

Farleigh rolls his eyes. “I think we might be the only two people in this room who actually cared about her.”

A sad longing flares up in my chest, and I start crying. It’s really all I’ve been doing for the past week. I’ve started carrying around travel packets of tissues in my pockets. Farleigh pulls one out of his suit jacket and passes it to me. I wipe away my tears - black streaks of makeup come away with them. I have no doubt I look like a mess.

“Okay?” Farleigh asks.

“Yeah.” I sniffle. “You?”

He nods as the organ swells, the song changing to a proper funeral dirge. My heart sinks as I hear the vestibule doors open behind us. Slowly, Venetia’s casket comes into view, a floret of dainty white flowers placed on top, ribbons streaming down the sides. My vision blurs with tears again, and I pull another tissue from the packet. I loved her. I really loved her.

The congregation begins to sing as the pallbearers bring her up to the altar, where a priest awaits with open arms. A sob forces it’s way out of me, and I’m glad that the organ is loud enough to mostly mask it. Farleigh places a hand on the small of my back, steadying.

“I really miss her.” I say, wiping at my face with another tissue. “I think I’ll miss her for the rest of my life.”

“I know.” He says, and I know he does. I can tell just by the sad way that he looks at me that he feels the same. Probably more, considering that he’d known her for much longer than a year. She was his sister in a way.

I sniffle, forcing the snot trying to run out of my nose back. “I would have loved her.” I say, my voice falling hoarse. “If she’d let me.”

His free hand comes up to brush away a few tears from his face. “I know.”

I pass him a tissue, my attention returning to the front of the room as the priest begins the service. The words float in one ear and out the other. I really would have loved her - I think, since I met her, I’d always been a little in love with her. How could I not be, when she was as beautiful as she was pitiful? She was unlike anyone else I’d ever met. I could talk to her for hours at a time and not get bored. I should have never left her.

My vision blurs, and tears drip off the end of my chin.

“Please stand.”

I rise up from the pew as the organist plays the first few notes of a song. There’s a rustling of pages as the congregation ruffles through their songbooks, and then the singing begins, a dampened chorus. I don’t bother - if I try to sing right now, I know I’ll just end up sobbing. I’m so tired of crying.

“There’s no fucking way.”

Farleigh’s hiss draws my attention away from the altar, and I wipe my eyes. “What?”

“It’s fucking Oliver.” He almost snarls it, staring at the front of the church, where James and Elspeth are sat. I blink a few times, until my vision clears, and tilt my head so that I can see around the people in front of us. Sure enough, a few feet away from Elspeth, a small figure at the end of the pew. For a minute, it just look like anyone, but then he turns, and I would recognize those icy blues anywhere.

“What’s he doing with James and Elspeth?” I whisper.

“I’ve no fucking idea.” Farleigh says, his stare filled with rage.

“You don’t think he’s…?” I trail off, unwilling to even really entertain the idea. There’s no way that he’s still at Saltburn, not after Felix died.

Farleigh just huffs out a spiteful laugh, and shakes his head.

I don’t have time to really think about it before the song is coming to an end, and the priest rises from his seat, his voice booming out over the church. “In the name of the father… the son… and the holy spirit…”

“Amen.” My voice melds with the rest of the congregation. It sounds a lot like ‘I miss you’.

< previous post | next post >

#farleigh start x oc #farleigh start x reader #saltburn #farleigh start #farleigh x reader #saltburn x reader

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lv-iceprince · 2 years ago

Note

If you have time I have a request for ateez!!! I’m curious how long it takes each of them to realize that they have a crush on someone and how long afterwards they confess? Thank you!

Hey! Thank you so much for requesting something and for my ult group nonetheless!!! And don’t worry I’ll always have time for you guys <3 <3

This also took a little longer because my cat deleted all of this 🙃

A Crush and a Confession **Ateez Edition**

ੈ✩‧₊˚Hongjoong~

There is an underlying sense of self-confidence with him, pair that with his intelligence and you get a Hongjoong that realises he should be upfront with his feelings. Hongjoong may seem composed but he does enjoy falling in love, but for a crush to develop he would actually prefer there to be a mutual connection first like a very platonic, thoughtful friendship. This works in his favour since he would actually be so aware of his crush on you, to the extent that he noticed the slight flutter he felt in his heart one day and immediately knew what it was that he was feeling. Hongjoong likes to be prepared for when he does finally confess so it might take him a month or two at most to collect his thoughts, but rest assure by the time he finally confessed he did it in the best way possible. In comparison to the other members, he really is a pro at expressing his feelings in a way that would leave a lasting impression on you. A result of the late nights he spent creating music with your face in mind.

~Seonghwa ੈ✩‧₊˚

Seonghwa is actually a pretty bold guy. He is probably the second quickest, behind Hongjoong, to realise that he is crushing on someone. Mostly because he is so open-minded. He had always been open to the idea of letting himself fall for you. It seems very cocky but he really just doesn’t want to dismiss what he is feeling, he will always want to go with his heart. Essentially, he already felt that there was a good possibility that he could start to catch feelings, even if everything started off very standard and platonic. So, in true Hwa fashion, Seonghwa will make it very obvious that he is attracted to you through undivided attention, kind words and the occasional flirting that is definitely designed to catch you off guard so he can just chuckle at your reaction. But despite this he will actually take his time confessing to you, which could span into months of waiting on your behalf. However, you don’t find yourself feeling that disappointing considering he is so obvious. So even if he takes him time to verbally confess you still know the full extent of his feelings.

ੈ✩‧₊˚Yunho~

Probably the most normal of the lot, he really does have the most perfect progression of love. Yunho isn’t as quick as the other members in realising that he is crushing on you. See it as the friends to lovers or next-door neighbour trope, he will spend a lot of time around you but it isn’t really a guarantee that he will crush on you quicker, golden retriever just wants to have fun and enjoy your company. Sometimes it could even take a whole year or two for him to finally start seeing you in a romantic light. Yunho is sentimental and has a huge heart, so the moment he starts crushing on you his smile would get bigger and his energy would skyrocket. Basically, his crush hit him like a train, but our ever-resilient Yunho would know exactly what to do in this situation. He is literally just so wholesome and attentive, when he did sense a deeper connection with you, he would wear his heart on his sleeve and make up for lost time by confessing to you a couple weeks after his huge realisation. Part of this is because he is so incredibly empathetic, he would be motivated to confess because he didn’t want you to feel like you were being led on if it turned out your feelings were mutual.

~Yeosang ੈ✩‧₊˚

Yeosang may seem a little unenthused by love in comparison to the other members but he really is just a guy who has an appreciation for human connection. This means he would remain quite platonic in his interactions with you, which could be disheartening because you 100% would be the one crushing on him first. So, it does take him a long time to realise he has a crush on you, purely because his priorities were on having a really good friendship. But once it clicks in his mind that he has a crush on you it really changes how he perceives things, it somehow made things between you feel daunting because he gets so goddamn nervous around you. Now the smallest favours that you do for him, like checking in on him when he’s preparing for a comeback, buying fried chicken to share, sending a good night text, literally anything will plague him with butterflies. That was really when he knew that he had a crush on you. From that point on he would gradually work his way up to confessing, however he definitely finds it much easier to confess to you so it wouldn’t take long at all for him to come clean.

ੈ✩‧₊˚Mingi~

Mingi is in the sub-unit of members who fall so easily in love it’s actually surprising. “Fix On” confident on stage Mingi is literally just all talk, he really has such a soft heart and has an optimism for love and being loved. Now, Mingi has definitely had crushes in the past and though it is so predictable that he will fall for someone in a heartbeat, it still catches him off guard. He is secretively emotional, so when he develops a crush, he is crushing hard. This also means that he confesses so quickly its actually surprises both of you. Love for Mingi moves quickly, because he just really wants to fall for someone. So, it isn’t out of the ordinary for him to meet someone, know them for a month or two then immediately confess. His mind just has a way of beautifying everything around him aka he definitely has moments where he sees life like his own personal k-drama.

~Sanੈ✩‧₊˚

San is like Yeosang but in overdrive. He really is all about that human connection, he likes to feel comforted in knowing that whoever he falls for will be falling for him because they love his personality and they understand his emotions. But since he is very in tune with his emotions and wears his heart on his sleeve, he will find it very easy to develop a crush on someone. His crushes just make him want to squeal in delight, so when he realises, he has a crush on you he is cuddling his pillow and kicking his legs in the air like a lovesick fool. Despite his eagerness for pure love, he has a sentimental side to him and that’s what made him fall for you. You did things that took him aback, it made him imagine what it would be like if he was able to become closer to you. That’s when everything clicked where he felt that, he needed to close this imaginary distance and confess. Since it is San all of this took place in about four months, he met you, he was smitten and he said it how it was. He didn’t want to hide behind a calm and collected persona when there was the possibility that you could have returned the feelings he had for you.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Wooyoung~

I stand by the fact that Wooyoung is a certified babygirl. Which means he rivals Mingi and San for the member that would crush on someone the quickest. But for him the realisation comes later than he would have preferred, it definitely wouldn’t take long for him to realise he is crushing on you but the fact he didn’t realise it sooner is something that would really bother him. Considering how witty he is he feels that he should at least know these things, he should know the difference between friendship and love. But he really had the cutest reason for it not clicking. He was preoccupied with the happiness he felt around you, he was literally blinded by his love and affection. Once he realised, he had a crush on you he would definitely want to confess as soon as possible, so he would just say it one day. It may have seemed like confidence but in reality, so many things were on his mind that it just slipped out. So maybe he is just a fool for love, but there are definitely worse things to be.

~Jongho ੈ✩‧₊˚

Now Jongho is pretty reserved in this sense, he is definitely capable of falling in love and he does want to experience having a relationship, he just really takes his time with everything. He would most likely realise he had a crush on you much later in comparison to the other members, the only one he outdoes with realising he has a crush is Yeosang. It just never really occurred to him that he would be feeling that way considering everything that is going on in his life. He was preoccupied with other things, but over time his tunnel vision faded away. He began thinking back to all the things that you had done for him and he really started to realise just how much comfort you were bringing him. After realising that, he couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face. But no matter how eager Jongho is to confess to you he would wait. He still remains pretty laid back and would take time to confess, he just knows that there will be a time in the future where will be the best time to confess, so for now he’s just out here enjoying your company.

#kpop headcanons #ateez #ateez drabbles #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez headcanons #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #san #hongjoong #mingi #seonghwa #wooyoung #yeosang #jongho #yunho #ateez soft hours #kpop fluff #kpop imagines

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courtofmatchups · 2 months ago

Note

Hey could I get a match up for Obey me or Twisted Wonderland?

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: On the ace spectrum but I know for certain I like dudes.

Appearance: I wear thin glasses with the lens showing out more than the frame, and any frame there is, is a black on the top. I am chubby, which only shows more often than not in my face, with having a real chubby face. I have blue eyes, with dark short hair, swooped to the side. I am short, around 5’3”.

I often have that real nerdy look that I lean into. Mainly on the front I am one. Either dressing in graphic t-shirts of my favorite shows and movies, or straight up overdressed for occasions. A nice white button up, a nice pair of pants, with a sweat vest.

Personality: Generally speaking I have social anxiety. So it’s really hard for me to open up to someone face to face. I usually talk as a way to make the thoughts of anxiety go away, but when I am truly comfortable, it comes through actions. I love spoiling my friends with gifts, I love being there for people and listening to what they have to say, it’s my comfort to know that someone cares. Though as for myself, I struggle to give myself the benefit of the doubt.

I always try to go farther than I actually need to, when I do go far I struggle to give myself real credit. Especially for the things and accomplishments I have done. I always believe I am lazy when I am just exhausted. I always enjoy making fun of my friends and them with me.

Likes/Hobbies: Okay, where do I start. I really enjoy spicy food, I’ll often take on larger doses of spicy food because it usually tastes better. I enjoy indie music, though a lot of people find it weird. I enjoy RPGs generally speaking, as for the specifics, I absolutely would kill for a good game of any table top rpg (exg. D&D, Pathfinder, etc). I also always enjoy traditional rpg games like Hylics. Outside of gaming, I enjoy writing a lot to the point that in previous relationships I have written poems of the people I cared about. I also enjoy reading and watching movies, though for most of the time I restrict it to the horror genre, that doesn’t mean I don’t like other stories in these mediums. I also like to doodle and watch anime.

Dislikes: Guh, fucking hate people with no emotional intelligence, like whatsoever. It has to be one of the quickest ways to get right under my skin. I also have a short temper with people that assume major things about me due to my disabilities. And oversexualization or infantilization of me.

What I look for in a partner: Reliability. End of sentence. More accurately, I want a partner who is willing to respect my boundaries and hang out with me. I want a partner that I can rant my problems at and they are more than willing to open up about their issues.

Hopefully this isn’t too hard

It seems to me, you've captured the heart of...

Idia Shroud!

I read that you were more on the introverted side, and when I read about your interests, I KNEW he was the one. Idia, like you, is someone who struggles with face-to-face interactions and would deeply appreciate a partner who understands the challenges of social anxiety. He’d be able to relate to your nerdy interests, from video games to tabletop RPGs, and the two of you could bond over your shared hobbies in a low-pressure environment.

Given that he's a little bit anxious, you might need to make the first move, and seeing that you and he are basically on the same wavelength, that won't be too hard for you. There is also a chance that he might make the first move at Ortho's insistence.

Either way, the relationship between you is a dream come true for him. I hope you can understand rap lyrics (the really fast songs in particular) because the speed at which he yaps about his interests is reminiscent of that. Can you really blame him though? His love language is infodumping about his favourite things. Of course, he'd love to hear you ramble about your interests as well, especially if it's something he's not dipped his toes into, since he can learn more about that, and by extension you.

Idia is a lot more emotionally intelligent than he lets on. He chewed out Rollo pretty hard in the Glorious Masquerade event. He experienced something similar himself, and his speech did help Rollo see a different path (Saying all this with as little spoilers as possible just in case). That said, you don't need to worry about a lack of emotional intelligence.

With Idia, you’d find a partner who is just as introspective and understanding as you, allowing you both to share your love for games, quiet moments, and nerdy pursuits without pressure.

#court of matchups #otome #matchups #twisted wonderland #twst matchups #twisted wonderland matchups #twisted wonderland x reader #idia shroud

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zachary305 · 4 months ago

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Gender and Society (Wandering Son)

Wandering Son was really just a sweet anime to watch. I love the music, some of the choices they made for the soundtrack were perfect. Playing Clair De Lune was the quickest way to tug on my heart strings and they took advantage of it! I also like that this anime handles the topic of transgender identities, something I haven’t seen many other animes discuss, and if they do discuss it, often its done in a poor manner. Regardless, it uses this story about transgender youth to discuss themes of gender noncomformity and the pressure society places on the people within it to conform to its standards.

So the story follows two middle school students named Nitori and Tatsuki. Both are struggling to understand their transgender identities in an environment that doesn’t accept this idea. They slowly help eachother to realize their identities and present as who they really want to be, but not without resistance from their peers. It’s through this that the anime tackles these themes and also the varied levels of acceptance towards the two children. Tatsuki, who is a trangender boy, starts wearing the male student uniform to school, but this is only met with mild backlash and intrigue. However, when Nitori wheres the female uniform to school, its met with incredible amounts of ridicule and backlash. It shows the true nature of this gender divide and relates it back to the idea of gender as a performance. Women are known to have masculine traits, so many dont oppose to Tatsuki adopting the masculine uniform, however men are known to solely have feminine traits, which is why Nitori is met with backlash. It shows that there are rules and guidelines to these ideas and if you step out of line, you are going against the norm. There must be something wrong with you in society’s eyes.

Which is why its so touching to see Nitori and Tatsuki to also have support systems. They are adapting to who they believe themselves to be and although the world isn’t ready for that, those around them will defend them. I also think this anime lends to the idea that gender isn’t much more than a concept as it deals with the “genderbender” play near the end of the anime.

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because-she-goes · 2 years ago

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april showers

warnings: happy crying, pregnancy/fertility, swearing for like half a second. Enjoy!

It was a less than ideal scenario. Nora was currently in New York on a rather luminous April day. Matty was touring in South America with the boys doing the festival circuit. She had been sick all morning, her period was a week late and she now was starting to feel bloated as ever. She took a few pregnancy tests on a whim last night just to see if she really was going through what her body was trying to tell her. Then there it was in plain english, on all 3 tests. Positive. Her heart swelled at the idea of a little human inside of her, quietly growing, quietly loving her. She started to cry on the apartment floor, knees bunched together and hand over her face, a mile wide grin permanently fixed. She decided to wait until a reasonable hour in Brazil to tell Matty, not wanting to scare the poor guy in the middle of the night with her tears and watery voice. She had already started thinking about how cute this little love would be, Matty’s wild curls, her coffee brown eyes, his charm, her creativity… she couldn’t wait. She grinned that night as she slept, holding her belly - the maternal instinct already kicking in.

At 9am Brazil time, Matty’s phone woke him up. Rubbing his eyes and clearing his throat, he swiped to answer. “Hello? Gorgeous, why are you calling this early? Is everything okay? Are you safe?” immediately beginning to panic. Nora would get up at 10:30am on a good day, let alone 8am in the US.

“Hi Handsome… are you sitting by any chance? Have a bit of news for you…” She bit a corner of her lip nervously. A hand raked through her messy morning hair, a t-shirt of his hanging from her chest as she sat up on the edge of the bed, letting her bare legs dangle.

“Yeah, baby… Why? Please just come out and tell me already I promise whatever it is I wont be upset….” He trails off, ringing his hands together a little - a nervous tick.

“Fine….” an exhale. “Matty, I am pregnant.” In that moment, his world stops. Tears of joy flood his saddle brown eyes, his mind now only imagining their child - running around a playground, birthdays, graduations, school recitals, college, relationships, music tastes, summers, vacations, parent-teacher meetings. He can’t believe it. He is gonna be a dad. He feels like he is in a dream floating above his body. A sniffle brings him back to her.

“Honey, I could not be more excited, more happy. You have made me the luckiest man on the planet. I love you, I love them. I am flying home as soon as I can. I can’t wait to see you, baby….holy shit we’re having a baby!!!” He exclaims, the thrill of it now catching up to him. The rest of the boys wake up and look at him like he has 1000 heads, “Nora’s pregnant!!” He yells at them. She is now crying on the other end of the phone call. He is gonna be the greatest dad, if he is this excited over just her telling him on a phone she can’t wait to see him in person. She hears the boys yell words of congratulations and good lucks to her from Matty’s end, them hugging him and celebrating as a unit. Sometimes it is like she has 4 husbands she thinks with a laugh, all of them so intertwined and interconnected in eachother’s lives. She can’t wait for this tiny little bean to meet their 3 uncles and aunt Charli and Carly.

A few hours go by and Matty is on a non-stop home to her. He had Jamie emergency book it, he just had to get home and see her - by plane, train or automobile. He is wearing whatever he could find the quickest in his cramped suitcase - his holy cross sweatshirt, a warm plaid jacket, his crossbody, jeans and his beloved gazelles. The whole way home he is thinking about the baby and Nora, the two halves of his heart. His plane thankfully lands without issue and he sprints across the airport to the rent-a-car desk. “Anything you have, my wife is pregnant!” He is telling everyone he physically can, a shit-eating grin greeting each and every last one of them. The kind older woman hands him a random pair of keys with a “free of charge, honey!” He thanks her in a flash and runs to find the vehicle. Of course, almost too perfectly, it is a mini-van. He jumps in, starts the engine and begins the drive into Manhattan, luckily its late, about 8pm so there is minimal traffic. Every minute that passes, Matty grows more and more impatient to see her. Traffic turns out not to be the issue, but stop lights. When he gets to his 8th red light in a matter of 15 minutes he accepts defeat. Pulling the car into a parking deck and giving a kid the keys and a $50, he gets onto the sidewalk. Only 2 miles away, oh this is cake! He’s run more than that while fucking high and hungover! He doesn’t even realize the clouds darken, or the rain starting, not the thunder, not the lightning, none of it. A cold, spring storm reigns down on the city. His feet carry him the 2 miles in a matter of minutes, that's when he halts. In the middle of New York’s worst storm of the year, Matthew Timothy Healy - wet as water - is buying a dozen light pink roses from a street vendor. The $20 in his wallet is soaking wet, but the florist accepts it with a “thank you for your service!” Matty is off again, now taking olympic level strides down the wet concrete, a vice grip on the flowers. Sweatshirt and jacket now clinging to him and light blue jeans now nearly navy, forget the sneakers those feel like puddles at this point. People are dodging him, diving out of the way, some even clapping towards him or yelling words of encouragement sensing that it must be some big, romantic gesture - it is New York afterall.

Finally, reaching her building, hair practically glued to his forehead. He dries himself as best as he can thanks to a front desk girl handing him a few towels. Hair still wet, but just damp - like it normally looks after he’s showered and let it air dry. The girl takes his coat and sends it to the in house dry cleaner to get it cleaned properly. Making his way up to her apartment, he opens the door with the spare key she lent him ages ago. “Baby? Nora? You home?” He walks around quickly, the apartment so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Crossbody falling off his shoulder, wet shoes squeaking on the hardwood floor. He makes his way to their bedroom and sees his love laying on their bed, curled up with an arm over her stomach. Falling to his knees over the sudden realization that it is now the three of them instead of two in this apartment. Tears prick at the corner of his eyes and the sound of a choked cry wakes her. She had just laid down after cleaning the apartment all day, absolutely zonked at 9:15pm. A true mom, she thinks before closing her eyes. She hears a muffled sob and her eyes shoot open. It takes her a bit, but then she sees them. His perfectly messy curls wet from the rain, eyes glassy as he takes her in, the flowers hang by his waist.

“Baby… I love you. No matter what you decide to do, I am fully beh-“

“Matty, I’m keeping it. I wanna make you a Dad, have wanted to do that since I was 26. I love you, they will love you. You’ll be the greatest father. I mean for god's sake, you were in a whole other continent 12 hours ago and flew home and they aren't even here yet!” She says towards him, opening her arms for a cuddle. This is all music to his ears, he feels like his heart could burst out of his chest and divide itself amongst the three of them.

“God, you’ll be a good mom… so caring, so supportive, so loving. I can’t imagine this little human coming into the world with a better woman to guide them.” He tells her truthfully, now getting up and walking to their bed. He takes off his wet clothes and leaves them in a heap in a corner somewhere to wash and dry later. Getting into bed, he hugs her and kisses along her hairline, down her nose and finally to her lips. It is warm, sweet and comfortable.

“And I couldn’t imagine them having a better Dad, Handsome…” she whispers, relaxing into his arms that enrobe her and her belly protectively.

— 3 MONTHS LATER —

“Handsome, we are gonna be late if you don’t get a move on!” Nora calls from their kitchen, now in London on a July afternoon. They have learned they’re expecting a January baby next winter - right after the new year. Today however, they have their first of many ultrasounds, this one being the one that reveals the sex of the baby. Matty runs a comb through his hair one last time, it's a big moment, he is a bit nervous to be honest - constantly fixing himself and his clothes and his hair. The boys have all started taking guesses. Team girl is: Nora, Ross, George and Carly. Team boy is: Adam, Charli, Jamie and Sam. Matty is fine either way, a blessing regardless of the child’s biological features. Nora is wearing an above-the-knee length, flowing yellow sundress and some sandals as it is hot in London today, Matty decided to match and wear a yellow button up with some brown slacks and sneakers. They look like your typical cliche excited new parents - it is sickeningly cute.

They make it to the OBGYN office and the aids get Nora in a gown. Matty asks if he can bring his camcorder in - for documenting everything (yes, he has become that type of Dad now). The nurses oblige finding it sweet how supportive he is being, asking Nora if she is comfortable or nauseous every 15 minutes. They put the jelly on her lower stomach and now in front of the two new parents is the ultrasound video. Matty holds Nora’s hand in anticipation and films with the other, giving her hand a squeeze of assurance. She’s been nervous about this for weeks. The first thing they see is the tiniest little hand reaching out to them. Then a side profile of a face, then a belly and all 4 limbs. Holding their breath still, the nurse goes to look at the baby’s brain which she remarks is developing womderfully, and finally the heart. The thing Nora has been dying to hear since April. The sweet nurse asks if they would like to hear it beat and almost before she can finish the question, Nora is nodding yes quickly. Matty chuckles at her eagerness. Then they hear it: perfectly lively, a quick steady heart rate, no murmurs or unusual noises. A perfect sounding fetal heartbeat. They sigh in relief. Nora cries and thanks whatever being exists that their baby is perfectly healthy - loving them regardless yet still grateful for the clean bill of health. Matty is speechless, in awe over how his Nora is growing and being essentially the sole life force of another human being and she isn’t even breaking a sweat.

“And finally, the sex of the baby… would you both like to find out?” Matty lets out a “Yes, absolutely!”

“Well, I am delighted to say it is a baby girl. Congratulations to the both of you! And she is in perfect health!” Matty and Nora are now fully crying, holding eachother tightly as they happily sob. A little girl. A mini Nora. Matty’s a girl dad now, he thinks in amazement. Nora is over the moon, a baby girl. The two of them hold onto one another until theyre calm again and even then, they look at eachother and giggle like school children. “We’re gonna have a daughter!” Matty says to her in a half-whisper. “A little girl!” Nora replies, cheekbones aching.

That evening, the two of them fall asleep while going back and forth thinking of girl names they like. Imagining their daughter and debating who’d she be more like or who’s traits she’d have. Nora’s artistic ability, Matty’s musical one, his voracious appetite for books, her sense of self and confidence.

Matty suggests Ida. Nora thinks Frida or Georgia. “What about Joni or Jude?” “How do you like Mona Lisa?” That gets a laugh. “I have always liked Amelia!” “Oh, I knew a girl in school who was a bitch named Amelia.” This goes on for what feels like hours.

Until one comes to mind. Nora shoots up remembering a song Matty used to play on guitar when they were dating. When they would be in Central Park, cuddled in blankets as they compared constellations…

“Matty, do you still know that Bon Iver song… the one you used to play me on your acoustic?” She asks, head jerking toward him wide eyed.

The song comes back to him in an instant. His favorite from 22, A Million. “Yeah, of course why?” He asks, seeing the gears turn in her head.

“Claire. Claire Healy.” He sighs, already in love with how the two names leap out of her grinning lips.

Claire. Meaning bright or clear. Bright like the sunny days they've spent together over the years, bright like the guiding lights they have been in each other’s lives, bright like the sun shining on that April morning. Clear like how they can hear their name being called by the other even in the middle of a party, clear like how their schedules are whenever the other needs them, clear like how obviously they knew they loved the other without ever knowing them.

“Claire.” She answers back, smiling at how beautifully it sounds in his voice.

#Spotify #matty healy #the 1975 #drew’s writing :)#matty x nora #2K words!!#i had the idea driving home today listening to this song and couldnt not immediately write it !!#an encounter

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wake-me-up-inside-imagines · 8 months ago

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Leo Myers Fluff Alphabet

Just a fluff alphabet for my oc Leo!

Warnings: none

Oc x reader

Divider credit goes to @xxbimbobunnyxx

Affection -(How affectionate is he? How does he show affection?)

Leo is pretty affectionate, whether it be through touch or through other means. He's pretty touch starved, so he loves physical affection from his partner(s) in any form, the more touch the better. Hugs, cuddles, handholding, even just being able to lean on his partner always makes him over the moon. He loves feeling connected with whoever he's dating, touch makes him feel safe and loved, it helps remind him that his partner(s) really do love him and want him around. He can be pretty shy about initiating contact at first, he doesn't want to make his partner(s) uncomfortable, but he gets more relaxed about it as the relationship goes on.

He also loves to give gifts as a show of affection, he's not fantastic with words so he uses gifts as a way to tell his partner(s) that he loves them. These gifts can range from small, little things like cool rocks or shells he found, to bigger, expensive gifts that he knows his partner(s) have had their eyes on for a while. Those are usually reserved for special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, but sometimes he likes to surprise his partner(s) with a big gift randomly as a treat.

Beauty -(What does he think is beautiful about his partner(s)?)

Physically, he loves his partner(s) eyes. He just thinks eyes are cool, it doesn't matter what color they are, he loves staring into them.

Personality-wise, he loves that his partner(s) will listen to him ramble about his interests and hyperfixations, especially if they actively ask him questions about it or show genuine interest in whatever he's talking about. This applies especially for music. Music is his heart and soul, if his partner(s) are willing to listen to and appreciate the music that he loves, even if it's not exactly what they're into, he'll be eternally grateful.

Comfort -(How would he comfort his partner(s) if they were having a bad day/panic attack? How would he like to be comforted?)

As previously mentioned, he's not great with words, so when comforting loved ones his go to is physical touch. If his partner(s) ok with it, he'll wrap his arms around them and cradle them softly, whispering words of reassurance in their ear if he can find the right words. He'll hold them as long as they need him to while making sure they're as comfortable as possible.

If they aren't ok with physical touch, Leo will try and help his partner(s) calm down with exercises that help reduce anxiety while keeping his distance. He also tries to distract his partner(s), whether it be by putting on a show they like, or talking about one of their interests in hopes it'll help them calm down. He'll get anything his partner(s) need, food, water, blankets, whatever they need to help them calm down.

If he was the one who needed comfort, physical touch is the way to go. All he wants when he's upset or panicking is to feel safe, and physical touch helps him feel more secure. He calms down the quickest when his partner(s) lay down on his bed with him, covering him in blankets while hugging him to their chest and assuring him that everything's ok and they aren't going to leave him until he feels better. He has a couple of comfort items that he'd want his partner(s) to let him hold onto as well. Eventually, he'll calm down, and he'll most likely fall asleep like that, wrapped up in the arms of his lover(s).

Domestic -(Does he want to settle down? How is he with household chores?)

Leo would want to settle down eventually, although he would like the occasional adventure or trip to spice his life up a bit. He definitely wants to get married at some point, being able to spend every day of his life with the person/people he loves most would be the highlight of his life. He's also a big fan of routine. Leo needs a sense of normalcy in his life in order to feel secure, so he can't constantly be on the move unless it's necessary, or else he'll get very overwhelmed.

The only real "domestic" thing that Leo doesn't want is kids. He's terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, he'd rather die than experience either of those things. Plus, he's not a fan of kids in general. He doesn't know how to interact with them, he doesn't have the patience for dealing with them, and it's very easy for him to get overstimulated with all the screaming and crying they do, not to mention how sticky and grimy they can get. He just can't do it. He likes his free time and peace too much, he's content with only marriage and a couple pets.

As for chores, he's pretty decent with them. He can cook pretty well (provided he has a recipe in front of him), and he actually enjoys it quite a bit. He'd especially love it when his partner(s) cook with him since he gets to spend time with them, but he's also content to make food by himself while listening to music. He's not as great with cleaning though, often being messy without realizing it. However, if his partner(s) bring up lazy habits of his or concerns they have, he'll do his best to improve his habits and clean up a little more thoroughly.

Ending -(If he had to break up with his partner, how would he do it?)

He'd probably wait a while to say anything, both out of fear that his disinterest is temporary and not wanting to hurt someone he used to love. But eventually, he would have to say something, especially since his partner(s) would probably be able to tell that something was up at that point. He would be as nice as he could possibly be about it, apologizing profusely to his ex(s) and trying his best to explain his lost feelings while also emphasizing how they didn't do anything wrong. He would hate for the break up to end in a fight, but if his ex(s) are pissed off at being broken up with and begin yelling, he won't fight back. He'll sit there and take it until they're done, he feels like it's the least of what he deserves for breaking someone's heart. He'd feel guilty about it for a couple of weeks, but eventually he'll accept that it was for the best, as it wouldn't have been fair to lie to whoever he was with just to keep them happy.

The only time he would be aggressive or mean during a breakup would be if his partner(s) did something extremely messed up (like cheating or some heinous crime), in which case he'll tear them a new asshole over it. Any attempts to lie or gaslight him into staying with them will be futile, he refuses to stay with someone who would do whatever it is that they did. Afterword, he'd be extremely upset that someone he loved would be so awful, and if he was cheated on he might even begin to blame himself for not being good enough, but overall, he still wouldn't ever consider getting back with his ex(s).

Fight -(How does he act during fights? How quick is he to forgive his partner(s)?)

Leo hates fighting with a burning passion, so he tries to be as open and calm as he can be when he's upset. However, fights are bound to happen in any relationship, so he and his partner(s) definitely get into it occasionally. When that happens, Leo either freezes or fights back.

If he did something to upset his partner(s) and they start yelling at him, his first instinct is to freeze in shame, standing still and listening to what they're saying as he cowers. If he understands where he messed up and how it affected his partner(s), he'll apologize and try to make up, giving them space if they want it and waiting for them to come to him. However, if he feels there was a miscommunication or he doesn't feel what he did was wrong, he'll try to explain himself, albeit a bit defensively. That probably leads to a full blown fight, in which case Leo grows frustrated that he's not being heard and starts yelling as well.

It takes a lot for Leo to start the fight, but if he's really upset then he might have a hard time letting go of it right away, which typically also leads to a yelling match.

In both situations, Leo will go cool off in his room for a while, trying to distract himself enough to calm down so he can think rationally. Immediately upon controlling his temper, guilt will start to swamp him, regardless of whether he started it or not. He feels bad for yelling at someone he loves, and he begins to really take in their perspective in order to understand what happened. After he feels enough time has passed, he'll either call or go find his partner(s) and apologize to them, and if he still feels like a part of his anger was justified, he'll try to explain his opinion and feelings in a much more rational, calm tone compared to before. From there, he and his partner(s) would have a discussion in which he does his best to listen, and usually by the end if all parties involved understand each other better and make up.

Gentle -(How gentle is he, both emotionally and physically?)

Leo's very gentle, both physically and emotionally. Anytime he makes contact with his partner(s), he makes sure he's not holding them tight enough to hurt. If he ever does anything to hurt his partner(s) by accident (he would never hurt them on purpose), he makes sure they're ok and then apologizes. He would never say anything he knows would intentionally hurt his lover(s), and he always does his best to adjust to their differing emotions. He does tease occasionally, but not in a mean way and he'll stop if asked.

Honesty -(How much does he share with his partner(s)? Does he tell them everything?)

Leo hates lying, so unless it's extremely serious or it would ruin a surprise, he doesn't lie to his partner(s). He's a very honest guy, and besides, he's a terrible liar anyway.

He doesn't tell his partner(s) everything however, there's just some stuff he'd rather keep to himself, whether they be painful memories or bad habits he keeps in the dark. The habits will come to light eventually, if his partner(s) are with him long enough, but the memories stay in his head.

I love you's -(How quickly does he say the L word? When would he say it?)

It takes Leo a while to say "I love you", but not as long as other people might take. Maybe within a couple months of dating. He gets so overwhelmed with his feelings that he just has to say it!

The first time he says it probably isn't anything special, he and his Partner(s) would be hanging out, maybe in public, maybe at home, when his partner(s) would do something to show their love for him. He'd get so overwhelmed with emotion that the words would just... slip out. He wouldn't regret it though, he means it with every fiber of his being and he doesn't want his partner(s) to have any doubts about how he feels.

Jealousy -(How jealous does he get? How does he handle his jealousy?)

He doesn't like to admit it, but he can get jealous pretty easily. If he notices his partner(s) are hanging out with someone more than him, or if someone's hitting on them, he begins to feel a little jealous, although the severity of the emotion depends on the situation. He doesn't make his jealousy known most of the time, he's very aware he has no good reason to feel this way, and he trusts his partner(s) enough that he doesn't feel the need to interrupt them. SO he just smiles and pretends like nothing's wrong, ignoring his emotions.

The only time he'll make his jealousy known is when someone's hitting on his lover(s) repeatedly and not leaving them alone, or if he feels like whoever he's with is actively and consistently choosing to hang out with someone else over him. In that case, he gets very clingy, constantly pressed into the side of his partner(s) as they go about their day. This isn't completely abnormal for him, but what is is how quiet he gets, too in his own head to keep up lively conversation. He won't admit his feelings unless his partner(s) figure it out for themselves because he doesn't want to be overbearing or controlling, but if they clock his jealousy he'll reluctantly tell them how he's feeling.

Kisses -(Is he a good kisser? Where does he like to kiss his partner(s)? Where does he like to be kissed?)

He's not the best kisser at first due to inexperience, but with enough practice he gets pretty good. His kisses are soft, almost like he's worried he'll hurt his partner(s) if he presses any harder. He prefers if they take the lead, he's not the most dominant person and he gets pretty shy when it comes to more intimate displays of affection.

He likes to kiss his partner(s) on the mouth (obviously), but other than that his favorite place to kiss is their forehead or cheek. He thinks it's sweet, it's a nice way to show someone he loves them in public without causing a scene. He's less shy when it comes to those places, most likely due to how quick the pecks are.

As for himself and other than the mouth, he likes to be kissed on his head, forehead, or neck. It always makes him flustered and happy when his partner(s) kiss him near the top of his head, it makes him feel safe. The neck is typically reserved for more... intimate moments, but even innocent neck kisses never fail to make the man melt.

Little ones -(How is he around kids? Does he want any of his own?)

As mentioned in D , he doesn't want any kids, he sees no appeal in having them.

As for being around them, he's decent? Kind of? All his life kids have gravitated towards him, which he doesn't understand since he doesn't think he's all that great at interacting with them. Babies are ok as long as all he's doing is holding them, he has no desire to take care of one. Toddlers and younger children tend to overstimulate him very quickly with all their noise and energy, but he's actually pretty good with them when he does interact with them. He talks to them kinda like adults in the sense that he doesn't do the high pitched baby voice a lot of adults do around kids, but the kids don't seem to care as long as he goes along with whatever random game they've made him play. He's more comfortable talking to teenagers because he doesn't have to put on a fake, kid-friendly persona around them, but he still doesn't go out of his way to talk to them much unless they're a family member or his partner(s) younger sibling.

Mornings -(What are morning's like with him?)

Leo's a night owl, so he typically stays up late and gets up late. His partner(s) will probably be the first to wake up, wrapped up in Leo's arms with his head on their chest. Leo's also somewhat of a light sleeper, so his partner(s) are just gonna have to stay like that for a while unless they wanna wake him up (not that they mind, hopefully). If they do wake him up, he'll grumble for a couple minutes before also getting up. If he somehow wakes up before his partner(s) do, he's staying put until they also wake up unless he absolutely has to move. He loves when he and his partner(s) are both awake but still snuggled up, it's a nice way to shake off the sleep without immediately doing something.

The first thing he does in the morning is shower, he feels gross if he doesn't. He likes to shower with his partner(s) from time to time, but if they don't want to he'll hop in while they do something else. Then he eats breakfast with his partner(s) and goes about whatever he needs to do for the day.

Nicknames - (What does he call his partner(s)?)

Mostly baby, babe or just their name, he feels like most pet names sound awkward coming out of his mouth for some reason. If his partner(s) want him to call them something specific though, he'll call them that with no problem.

If he's in a poly relationship, he has designated pet names for each of his partner's, what he calls them depends on what they're like or what they like to be called.

Open -(How and when would he start revealing things about himself ?)

For the most part Leo's an open book, there's not a ton he hides from people in general. Despite the way he dresses, he's not some dark, mysterious figure that you have to be around for years to get to know, he's very open about himself as a person. His partner(s) will most likely get to know about some of his trauma earlier on during their friendship because he has a habit of casually mentioning it when it's relevant to the conversation, or just straight up joking about it. However, there's a lot more to him under the surface that he'll only share if he's super close to someone, and even then it'll take a while for him to share. He doesn't like to talk about his insecurities or his mental health openly or often, but if he's dating people then it becomes harder to hide it from them, so eventually he'll open up. He's afraid that his partner(s) will leave him if they find out about the more unpleasant sides of him, but he can't hide it forever, so all he can do is hope that they won't leave him when they find out.

PDA -(How is he with pda? Does he brag about his partner(s), or is he more reserved?)

He LOVES pda for the most part. He has no problem with most forms of physical contact in public, handholding, hugging, quick kisses on the mouth or face, he has no problem with any of it. The only things he wouldn't be comfortable with in public is making out or more... sexual displays of affection, those he'd prefer to keep for when he and his partner(s) are alone.

He loves to talk about his partner(s) to other people, but it doesn't ever come off like he's bragging, it feels more like he's very in love and needs to talk about it (which is exactly what he is lol). It's very sweet, it's pretty obvious that he's head over heels.

Quirk -(What quirk does he have that helps improve his relationships?)

Leo's very good at remembering dates, so his partner(s) never have to worry that he's forgotten their anniversary, birthday, or any other memorable date in their relationship. He's also very good at remembering the little things about his partner(s), whether it be memories they've shared, insecurities they have, or any hobbies or interests they have. Chances are, they only need to mention it once and he'll remember for ages, it comes in handy when he's buying gifts.

Romance -(How romantic is he? )

Bro's the definition of a hopeless romantic. He loves going on dates, whether he was asked or he did the asking, he loves spending time with his partner(s), and he loves making special occasions well... special! He see's anniversaries and valentine's day as days to spoil his partner(s) more than usual, and he always spends a decent amount of time trying to figure out what to do/get for his lover(s) to show his appreciation for them. Sometimes he worries that he's being too overbearing, while other times he worries that he's not doing enough, but his fears are eased when he sees how much his partner(s) appreciate the effort he put in.

Security -(How protective is he? How does he protect his partner(s)? How does he want to be protected?)

He's fairly protective, not overbearingly so but enough that he'll immediately spring into action if his partner(s) are uncomfortable/being threatened. He's not a very intimidating guy, he's pretty short and he's not the strongest person in the world, and he's very aware of that, so he tries his best to stay out of a fight, instead trying to get his partner(s) out of the situation as quickly as possible. He tries to avoid getting into a verbal fight with whoever's harassing his partner(s) out of fear it'll turn into a physical fight (that he knows he has no shot of winning), but if the person continues to harass his partner(s), he has no problem telling them to fuck off and leave them alone. If there's truly no way for him to get himself and his partner(s) out of the situation, he acts like a human shield, standing in between the harasser and his partner(s) in an effort to protect them, no matter how hurt he gets. If someone's trying to put their hands on his partner(s), he'll wrap himself around whoever he's with, using his body as armor.

As for himself, he likes the same thing to be done for him. If his partner(s) are bigger/stronger than him, his go to when threatened is to stay as close to them as possible, it makes him feel safer knowing there's someone nearby who can keep him out of danger. He also appreciates it when his partner(s) puts them between him and the harasser, but he doesn't want them to pick a fight out of fear that they'll get hurt.

Thrill -(Does he like routine, or does he need excitement in the relationship?)

Some excitement here and there would be nice, but overall Leo enjoys routine. He doesn't want his partner(s) (or himself) to grow bored, but too much excitement all the time will end up overwhelming him. In his eyes, he doesn't need big moments to enjoy time with his partner(s).

Ugly -(What are some of his bad habits?)

He can get defensive pretty quickly, although he's actively working on not doing that when criticized.

He apologizes. A lot. It can get annoying sometimes.

It can be hard for him to try new experiences sometimes due to his anxiety, he does his best to cope but it gets the better of him more than it should.

He has a hard time replying to messages or answering calls when he's in a bad mental state, which can lead to his partner(s) thinking he's ghosting them. He doesn't mean to, he just needs some space, but it wouldn't hurt to be more honest about why he's not answering.

Value -(How important is this relationship to him? What would he do to keep his relationship?)

It's extremely important to Leo, one of the most important things in his life. There's very little he would value above his relationship with his partner(s). He would do as much as he possibly could to keep his partner(s) happy, potentially to the detriment of himself if the relationship turned toxic. Of course, if the relationship is very obviously dead, he'll have to accept it, but he doesn't want to give up until it's clear the relationship is over.

Wild Card -(What are some random, fluffy facts about him?)

Leo runs cold, so whenever he's freezing he'll cuddle up with his partner(s) to warm up. He's a good cuddle buddy when it's summer.

He's embarrassed to admit it, but he has a couple of cutesy interests that he collects, like Lego flowers and bear plushies (specifically from one brand). One step in his room and the secrets out. He also has a couple of baby blankets that he sleeps with.

Speaking of blankets, he has a million of them. His bed looks like more of a nest than a bed at this point.

Massive horror movie nut. If they aren't scaredy-cats, Leo will absolutely make his partner(s) watch his favorite horror movies, pointing out all the things he likes about them in the process.

XoXo -(Does he like to kiss and cuddle?)

As previously mentioned, yes! He greatly enjoys any physical contact with his partner(s).

Yuck -(What qualities would he dislike in a partner?)

He doesn't like people who judge others based on stupid shit (like appearance, weight, or non-problematic interests), as well as anyone who is any ism or obia towards others.

He won't be with someone who doesn't see him as a man, whether before or after medically transitioning. He knows he's not the most manly man in the world, but that doesn't erase or disprove his identity. He needs someone who sees and respects him for what he is, not who he was at birth.

He doesn't like when others don't want to hear him talk about what he's interested in, especially when they expect him to like what they like.

He also can't deal with someone who grows easily annoyed with his anxiety. He knows what it's like to be perceived as a burden because of it, and he doesn't want to experience that in a relationship. He needs someone who will be patient and understanding while he works on learning to cope.

Zzzzz -(What are his sleeping habits like?)

As mentioned in M, he's late to bed and late to rise. He likes to watch YouTube or scroll through social media before conking out, but if he's sleeping with his partner(s) then he'll spend the last 30 minutes-hour he's awake cuddling with them while they talk about they're day. He's a pretty light sleeper, so he tends to wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. It doesn't take him long to fall back asleep though. He also moves around a ton in his sleep, so his partner(s) should expect to be in a different cuddling position when they wake up than when they fell asleep.

#x reader #oc x reader #ocs #my ocs #fluff #oc fluff #fluff alphabet #fluff and angst #my writing #leo x reader #leo myers x reader #fluff prompts #fluff headcanons

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