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punkscowardschampions · 2 years ago

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Bimmy & JJ

Bobby: [just got far too much time after school to be sat here stewing waiting for Jimothy to get home, me like I hope you washed up your tea mugs or we’ll be SUSPICIOUS honey]

Jimmy: [what a fun mood he’ll be in, having to wait because I’m sure Jimothy doesn’t get home til like 6 or even 6.30 sometimes, I’m also sure that whilst he carried the mugs and her sandwich plate into the kitchen he did not in fact wash them up so unless y’all have a dishwasher he could’ve just quickly shoved them in, which I’m pretty sure we’ve said before they don’t, they will be there]

Bobby: [the drama sis, who else are you going to be having ‘round when Libi is also at school so you know she hasn’t been able to sneak in, poor boy just here freaking out and lowkey looking through all your things like what do we need to take, what can we leave, like you’re gonna flit off tonight]

Jimmy: [you defs should’ve washed up but that just goes to prove how distracted y’all were, cos yeah, has not even occurred to him that Bobby will even notice never mind that he’s fully packing his bags rn, soz boy]

Bobby: [someone was a little too busy lmao, not that that’s crossed our mind, we assume she just came to tell you this terrible news in person so you’ll be fully on board and ready to go when you get home, assuming y’all track each other’s phones so he’s already checked you are at work/on your way home and haven’t gone to kms after this meeting]

Jimmy: [come find him whatever room he is in when you finally do stroll in, under the premise of asking him what he wants for tea so you can sit him down and talk about the pub move and Libi’s bday and the dog and all the things, just there like ? because not expecting the scene he walks in on as he announces himself with the lights on and off move]

Bobby: [when you’re so hyped up but not in a fun way at all, just a LOT of energy lmao ‘when did she come over?’ immediately, no hello here lol]

Jimmy: [a look like that’s like calm down, in a genuinely concerned way obvs not a pisstakey one, because whoa now this is a lot ‘lunchtime’ steering over to somewhere with a hand on his shoulder to sit down ‘we needed to talk’ looking at him cos clearly can’t wait until dinner is ready and on the table as was his initial plan ‘we do an’ all’ me just writing this like he’d say it even though tis signed so we’re not getting that northern-ness across lol, let me live]

Bobby: [‘I already know, Libi told me’ dismissively but in a no we don’t way ‘cos I’m already on the level and up to date don’t worry, sitting wherever but under duress because we’d rather be pacing frankly]

Jimmy: [‘go on, what did she say?’ because wanna hear it from him and thus be able to gauge what he’s feeling more so than the info he does or doesn’t know, cos he’s sure you do have the full jc move goss, boy, but it’s not the knowing that’s as important as how upset you are about it and wtf you think you’re doing packing lol]

Bobby: [‘that she got them kicked out and they have to go live over the pub, so everyone’s gonna find out’ like um hello but also looking at him sympathetically ‘cos it’s you that got the dirty did on you, not us]

Jimmy: [managing not to wince, sigh or squeeze his eyes shut at how blunt that was because tis true tbf, and as much as you don’t relish everybody chatting about it, it’s more for Bobby and Libi’s sake than his, we know that, cos they have to go to school and deal whereas he isn’t an angsty teen anymore and had to deal with peeps chatting worse shit about his dad murdering his mum etc when he was, so, from his POV not nice but also not up there at the top of his priorities re this marriage breakdown in the slightest, so a nod like alright, that’s out of the way, onto the next thing, making a deliberate meal of looking around the room so he can’t miss it ‘and what’s all this?’]

Bobby: [just watching him not react which is as much of a reaction as if you just had, sorry to say, picking up your feet in your seat dramatically because you wanna kick something like for fuck’s sake but you aren’t going to so just fold them up underneath you instead ‘there’s no reason to stay here no more and now all the reason to go, we should before it gets bad’]

Jimmy: [‘mate, here’s our home’ cos it is and jj both know running away doesn’t solve anything actually, as much as they had doing it as teens ‘all the people we’re bothered about and who are bothered about us are here, our family is’ because soz but Libi and Janis and Casey are still your fam and baby Jac also exists ‘we can’t just piss off somewhere else and cross our fingers they’ll be alright on their own, or pretend it’ll solve owt for us two going off however far down the road, it don’t work like that’]

Bobby: [idk if you can laugh, maybe it would just sound odd, no offence, or if it’s just the facial expression of but either way, doing that like you what ‘they’ve all fucked off first, there’s no one but us left, we don’t need to stay here and get humiliated ‘cos of them, what for?’]

Jimmy: [shaking his head but he is nothing if not patient, so sitting down near to him without being right in his grill about it ‘they’ve not, she’s been here today, we were chatting only a bit ago’ like tis simply not true, I’m soz ‘and we’ve said we’ll try and be proper mates, have a better go at this than we have been, that’s what for, for all of us, you and Libi are included right in with it’]

Bobby: [‘and who’s idea was that?’ like I know it weren’t yours ‘you can’t be mates with her, it’s fucked she would even ask you to do that after what she’s done’ because we think this is gross and terrible]

Jimmy: [‘mine’ because it was, he said he wanted to be ‘you know I’ve not been doing well with how things have gone before now, I need to do something different, try to, why I asked her and she’s said she will do, it’s for my sake more than hers, but you heard, it’s for all of ours’]

Bobby: [doing the same thing where you try not to react as you did earlier because we really pity you right now and think you are being played because of your emotions but we know you won’t appreciate that so we’re basically just grimacing like … anyway lmao ‘I’m proposing something different, a total fresh start, that’s just going back to how it was’ like come on]

Jimmy: [‘it’ll be nowt like it were’ using the depression to his advantage to really suppress how heartbreaking that is as a concept to him rn because not trying to break or shut down here in this moment by sending himself on a thought spiral of the way things used to be or are now ‘it can’t be, but we’ve gotta stay here, I ain’t able to chuck you no sort of fresh start on my own at the minute, just us keeping on, that’d be how it got bad’ not him acknowledging to Bobby, a little bit, how mentally ill he is, oh progress]

Bobby: [‘nah, it won’t, but she’ll string you along like she did Case the entire time because that’s what she does’ getting up to your feet ‘cos you got points to make ‘it’s not about me, it’s about you, because if you don’t cut yourself free then you’re gonna get worse and worse and she’ll do fuck all about it like she can’t see it’]

Jimmy: [SUCH a look like DON’T that he cannot stop himself from throwing out because Janis defense squad 5ever ‘if it’s about me, listen to me, she proper helped us earlier when I badly were in need of, I get you don’t trust us, and you’re right to not, but we’ve had a word about where to go and what’ll help us more from here on, it ain’t owt to do with different geography’]

Bobby: [just staring at you exasperatedly, shaking our head like what are you on about ‘I don’t trust her and neither should you, you know, as she cheated on you with your own brother’]

Jimmy: [a DEEP breath ‘yeah, and that won’t go away, no matter how long we spend in the car looking for a new postcode’]

Bobby: [‘you wouldn’t have to think about it every day, risk seeing either of them, hear people talking about it, see all their fucking family all the pissing time’ slapping the back of one of your hands on the other after every point as punctuation and emphasis ‘we’d have each other, you don’t need to be scared’]

Jimmy: [‘there’s sod all that’ll stop us thinking about it every day’ letting that sigh out he didn’t before because of how true and heavy he knows that is until he starts to sort his head out ‘might be what the doctors chuck at me’ll do something, but-’ a pause, to look at him and for emphasis ‘I still have to see her, and I want to’]

Bobby: [have obviously been signing animatedly this entire time, so slowing it down and being a bit calmer about it ‘you’re just brainwashed, you don’t have to do anything, you’d be better if you didn’t’]

Jimmy: [‘I have to get my head sorted so I can be about for her and Libi as much as to do a better job of it than I have with you, not instead of’ when you have not mentioned the baby because I firmly believe you have never to him, even though he knows about it via Libi]

Bobby: [shaking our head again ‘no, you don’t, you don’t owe them anything, it’s their fault, not yours’ putting a supportive arm on his shoulder for a sec before you have to talk again ‘you need to think about yourself’]

Jimmy: [‘I am doing, it is my fault, and I couldn’t live with myself if this is how things stay, never mind them getting no worse’ doing a fam style feelsy lean because always ‘for none of us, I love the bones of the lot of you’]

Bobby: [pushing away from it ‘that is a mental thing to say, you got cucked, Jesus, Jim!’ walking off into another room for a second because we can’t deal with you right now but also you’re deaf so that shuts down all conversation unless he follows you and you don’t think he will so you’re coming back in]

Jimmy: [‘I am a bit mental’ when he comes back in, doing the 🤏 to try and make it slightly bants because again, how true and heavy that is with regards to the long slow trek of trying to get better is so much ‘I left her first, I’ll not be doing nowt like that again’]

Bobby: [‘she’s not coming back, she wants everyone to know now’ shrugging ‘and someone else wouldn’t make you feel mental for any of this, they’re the sick ones’]

Jimmy: [‘I’m not hanging about for her on the off chance, I meant what I said, I’ve a life here, my job, mates-’ a pause while he corrects that to ‘a really top mate’ cos shoutout to Pete, that icon ‘so have you’ after another pause like shoutout to Libi too, remember her, boy]

Bobby: [when we really don’t believe you and we’ve literally crossed our arms whilst you’re talking like I won’t be adding to this, almost turning away but only half as if you’re half listening]

Jimmy: [‘things started to go wrong ages ago, I should’ve cracked on with putting them right then’ like a * for what he said about them being the sick ones as if he just realised he didn’t address that]

Bobby: [‘not your fault they’re fucked in the head, always have been’ me like oop and you reap what you sow by acting like Casey was an unfixable and unredeemable nightmare]

Jimmy: [‘it is, I never gave neither of them what I should’ve, instead I let them both down, ‘course they’d stick together for it’]

Bobby: [rolling your eyes like oh please ‘there’s no point staying here, leave out pretending there is’]

Jimmy: [‘there is, and you know it as well as I do, pissing off and pretending you can be chuffed and never look back is what there’s no point to’]

Bobby: [‘leave me out of your sad attempt at playing happy families with them, I’m not interested’ before turning the TV on and throwing yourself on the nearest empty sofa to sprawl out]

Jimmy: [give him some time, go make a tea for you both and leave his within reach when it’s ready but have yours in the kitchen so that again you’re not in his grill cos much to process]

Bobby: [we’ll just be here in a vegetative disassociated state not processing and instead watching mindless television, don’t mind us lol]

Jimmy: [that went well lads]

Bobby: [you love to see it lmao]

Jimmy: [can’t even tell him about this dog now cos he’s made it clear he’s not interested and Jimothy is that bitch who will just leave it, hence you’ve got yourselves in this mess, what a fun stalemate to be in, go make dinner of some sort and bring it to him the same way as if this is in any way casual or a normal night]

Bobby: [at least you’ll have to eat that even though you left the tea because you’re a teenage boy and they are always hungry, and at least it’s physically impossible for you to hold a full conversation and eat so we can pretend this isn’t awkward as it is]

Jimmy: [just eating in silence on opposite sofas, a scene that would be all too familiar of the past month, I really want Jimothy to step his pussy up but I can’t run before he can walk so here we are]

Bobby: [the way this is preferable to us because we’re sick of Libi trying to talk to us in general and we just wanna stay here alone and not deal with any of them or any of that mess of a scenario or any emotions; this’ll be why Jimmy can’t show to her birthday though, tah Bobby]

Jimmy: [I can’t shade him too hard because the level of emotionally exhausted he’d have been all day before the JJ convo even started never mind this one, and at least he has tried to begin this one, but ugh it’s frustrating lol, like, he can’t even be having his own convo with Libi via text rn to make it productive cos there’s only so much he can hack in one day]

Bobby: [it makes perfect sense, if this wasn’t an issue we wouldn’t be here, at least Bobby will be going to his room at some point so you don’t have to just sit and watch him do nothing all night]

Jimmy: [go to bed and sleep sir because we all know you want to for literally a thousand years, at least we can put the JJ convo here as well, like pre-Libi’s bday and getting Peach, him telling her he can’t do whatever they had planned as an outing, cos he said he’d let her know if he couldn’t]

Bobby: [sounds good girl]

Jimmy: Have you said to Libi about [wherever they were going]?

Janis: Not yet, though I will lead with it now I’ve let things cool off

Janis: better than calling her a selfish cow or whatever again, no doubt

Jimmy: don’t, our kid’s having none of it and pissing off without him wouldn’t be a good shout at the minute

Janis: oh, that’s alright

Janis: I did wonder if he’d be up for it

Janis: I can still take her, if you don’t mind us doing it without you?

Jimmy: you’re alright, if you still fancy it, crack on

Janis: It won’t be the same but it's not my birthday so better think of something to do with her

Janis: how is he, stupid question though it is

Jimmy: The kind of question where the answer is, that the other day I came in from work to find him packing the place up, with it in his head we’d just piss off and go

Janis: ah

Janis: I bet he took the news you weren’t after leaving your whole life here behind really well then

Jimmy: Weren’t no 👍

Jimmy: 🖕 more like

Janis: how are you is a better question then

Janis: 🤏

Janis: trying to take comfort in the fact that’s the expected and normal teenage response?

Jimmy: something like that

Janis: you do know how normal it is, yeah

Janis: Libi is honestly pretty weird for wanting to spend any time with us still

Jimmy: Least she’s weird how I am, ‘cause same

Janis: I’d say you go with her but it’d only be funny to me for the first three seconds to see his reaction to suggesting I keep an eye on him

Janis: he’s only different ‘cos he had a family about to get sick of, you didn’t

Jimmy: Take real comfort in that any road, can’t I?

Janis: 🤞

Janis: I’m sorry, I was looking forward to it too

Jimmy: I’d say tell her I am, but it’s probably better if she don’t have no clue I were ever gonna be there

Janis: depends

Janis: you’re allowed to let her know your intentions but do you want to also let her know in the process that Bobby don’t want to see her

Jimmy: can’t wrap no bow round it and make it look a top birthday gift, bit too gutting for her

Janis: yeah, probably

Janis: there’s an argument for letting him be a dickhead on his own time but

Janis: I appreciate you looking out for her best interest, although she’s going to know regardless when he doesn’t show up to [do their whole rigamarole lol]

Jimmy: Argument for locking them in together somewhere and losing the key ‘til they both stop being dickheads and sort themselves out, but probably best we don’t, nspcc would be right round

Janis: this is going to be dead uncomfortable for us all

Janis: last thing this situation needs is social workers

Jimmy: Long as he don’t ring the rspca on the dog I’ve not said nowt to him about

Janis: bit harsh, poor cow really is blameless

Janis: she can always stay with my grandparents, don’t forget, if he does kick off or you at least need time to tell him

Jimmy: tah, rather not take you up on the offer, but fact is I might have to

Janis: I mean, ultimately I think he should get over it and deal, you had to keep Twix about for him but I’m not going to force the thing upon you to make that point

Janis: fucking teenagers

Jimmy: Who’d have ‘em, eh?

Janis: 👵👴

Janis: made us feel a bit sick, that

Jimmy: Tell me about it, mate

Jimmy: sick to the back teeth over here, I am

Janis: you ever thought of taking up smoking?

Janis: heard it works wonders

Jimmy: What I’ve heard, an’ all

Janis: but seriously, you’ve gotta do some shit for yourself, catch up with Pete

Janis: or he will drive you actually certifiably insane

Jimmy: Funnily enough, he said the same, when he were trying to get us to never have nowt more to do with you, like, but

Janis: Oh no, got my biggest hater on my side

Janis: he’ll be gutted

Janis: maybe he has A single point, broken clocks, all that

Jimmy: Thing is, I don’t have the energy to do owt for myself

Janis: yeah, I know that feeling, be a right hypocrite to act as if otherwise

Jimmy: broken clock, all that

Jimmy: Every dickhead wants us to strike HOW many times?!

Janis: proper pisstake

Janis: just pick up a pack, I reckon

Janis: least you won’t be directly fucking up no one if you do

Jimmy: 👍

Jimmy: urge to piss off down the shop for them or a pint of milk’s never been stronger, might be Debbie had A point herself there

Janis: never said she didn’t, no offence to you all, like

Janis: if you wanted to spend some time with Libs, we could meet up after school instead this week, if you’d rather

Janis: chuck a fiver at him for some fish and chips or leave a frozen pizza, be alright

Jimmy: None taken, I get where her head were more with every passing day

Jimmy: and tah, again, but I can’t

Janis: we can admit she’s exhausting too, she can’t hear us here

Jimmy: It’s not her, you didn’t hear, or see, him

Janis: you really don’t want to leave him alone then

Jimmy: you don’t need telling how quick you can get on a train or something and be gone

Janis: no, I don’t

Janis: you reckon he might, proper?

Jimmy: I’d have said not without us before, but after hearing what he reckons of me, I dunno now

Janis: That is knackering

Jimmy: Were when I just about had the stamina to keep up with you being at it

Janis: I was a nightmare, you didn’t need it then either

Jimmy: I needed you, massive nightmare as you could be half the time

Janis: oh, half is it

Janis: generous

Janis: well, I understand, you have to do what you have to do, I just wish I could share some of the responsibility of watching him but I dunno how to now

Jimmy: be the rose-tinted 😎 that will, pissing about with the proper %

Jimmy: You’re alright, he’s my responsibility, always has been

Janis: no one should shoulder anything alone, not even you two dickheads

Jimmy: I tried saying when I were on about what we had to stay for, he won’t be told

Janis: alright but don’t make him right about it

Janis: just angry

Jimmy: Never were much good at sorting out angry though, were I?

Janis: you can’t sort angry, you let angry tire itself out

Jimmy: Chatting as the punching bag, it don’t get tired quick enough

Janis: oh Jimmy

Janis: send him my way, fuck it, I’m not exhausted he can get some of what he needs to say out on someone else

Jimmy: I’ve had to hack worse, as an actual punching bag

Janis: but it's not the point, if you’re too done in to even defend yourself then it’s the same difference

Janis: you need rest, he needs to get it out somewhere it’ll not do no damage

Jimmy: There’s no defending myself, his head is done in by the situation I’ve put him in

Janis: you haven’t put him in any situation, come on

Jimmy: ‘Course I have, I set it up so owt I do is for him, top when I’m 🥇 but when I fuck up that’s his life I have done

Janis: that’s just the transition from kid to not

Janis: what else were you meant to do, Ian wasn’t gonna step in and step up, you can’t blame yourself for none of that

Jimmy: Why not? Our kid will do

Janis: yeah, whilst he’s a cunty teenager and then he’ll grow the fuck up too

Janis: that’s just life, everyone treats their kids like the sun shines out their hole and then the kid is royally pissed off when they hit 13, 14 and they realise it don’t and the world don’t give a fuck

Jimmy: Alright, but grow up how? No bloody way I wanted him to

Jimmy: say what you like, but it weren’t meant to be like this

Janis: of course you didn’t want this

Janis: everyone fucks it up, that’s the secret

Janis: every twat reckons they can do better and that’s what keeps the world populated

Jimmy: Dead convenient you’ve managed to unlock that secret when you need it most

Janis: I literally had this kid for the most selfish reasons, what’s the point harping on like I’m gonna do it ‘right’ or ‘well’ just to look like a dickhead in 13 years when it’s being a bastard itself

Jimmy: I’d be a bigger dickhead to make a point about trying, so you can have your ‘win’, there 🏆

Janis: it’s not a win it’s a fucking cliche

Janis: yeah, he’s spoilt and fucked up, but you couldn’t have done no better and he’d be a whole load worse off if you hadn’t of tried as hard as you did

Jimmy: be why I nicked your ‘ ’ to put the word in, that

Janis: you’re a knobhead, but a really good one who cares too fucking much for his own good

Jimmy: Dunno where I could’ve nicked that from an’ all, don’t sound at all like you, or nowt

Janis: nah, never me

Janis: I’m sure you’ve had my faults spelt out to you quite literally if that’s the sort of mood he’s in atm

Jimmy: must’ve mixed you up for your twin again, piss easy done

Jimmy: He’s had it spelt out to him loads more times, I don’t want a bad word said about a lass who’s now my proper mate

Janis: be the nicest review she’s received, would stick out on her dating profile, that

Janis: you don’t have to defend me, you know

Jimmy: He don’t have to badmouth you to us, more like

Jimmy: I know what happened, it happened to me

Janis: fair, if you don’t wanna hear that, you shouldn’t have to

Janis: just don’t do nothing for my sake no more

Jimmy: Can’t stop us, sort of mate I am

Janis: I feel bad that no one warned you what a crap friend I am

Jimmy: I’ll live, nobody else is lining up at the minute

Janis: glad to hear you plan to drop us soon as the invites are rolling in, like

Jimmy: Warned you this were all temporary from day one, girl, why would I have a different plan now it’s mates instead?

Janis: ‘cos now we’re MATES you actually chat to us and I heard you ain’t leaving town, so

Janis: don’t give me that we’ll be off before you know it crap

Jimmy: A petty dickhead would hang on til he don’t fancy it no more and then announce we’re going

Jimmy: never, me

Janis: be no less than I deserve but

Jimmy: Yeah, but

Janis: stay

Jimmy: You, I said it first

Janis: if you’re keeping score, lot I said first too, memory serves

Jimmy: You’d be the first to tell us there’s no point keeping score no more, this convo serves

Jimmy: loving a bit of that today, you

Janis: erm I was trying to cheer you up, sorry I’m absolutely shocking at it and nothing matters, who cares is my default

Jimmy: Dunno what you mean, reckon I’ll cancel my doctor’s appointment ‘cause there’s no chance I’m not absolutely 100% cured, tah for that

Janis: 🙃

Janis: I mean, it’s a gift, really, this sunny disposition and knack for saying and doing the right thing at the right time

Jimmy: I don’t need telling 😎 never could come off, even if I had fancied it

Janis: good thing it suited you so well, did you a massive favour there

Jimmy: Handing Ian his perfect asking for it excuse, but I’ll let you off

Janis: asking for it could be his catchphrase, no doubt

Jimmy: depending how thin on the ground Mastermind contestants are nowadays, there’s a specialist subject in there an’ all

Janis: not a waste of a life after all, mate, happy days

Jimmy: 😁☀️

Janis: are you gonna see me this week or what

Jimmy: [drop your work schedule like you used to when you were a barista boy, with the vibe of there maybe being a lunchtime y’all could see each other again if she’s also free]

Janis: [pick one or a couple that you could do too so he has some options]

Jimmy: there we go then, that answers that

Janis: 😁☀️ ain’t exclusive to Ian

Jimmy: Might not be, but ☔️ is fairly exclusive to the time of year

Janis: where do you fucking live, mate

Jimmy: Ask us by [the first day she suggested] and who knows

Janis: I look forward to the house tour then 😏

Jimmy: Look forward to asking Gracie to find out her old vlog camera and be round, personally

Janis: 💔

Jimmy: I were when I remembered that weren’t your past life an’ all, these bloody mixups just keep on

Janis: never too late to right that wrong

Jimmy: there’s certifiable then there’s certifiable, my dear

Janis: if we are mates now, it’d be proper 🐍 behaviour, babe

Jimmy: Oi, hun, what you chucking that if at us for?

Janis: ‘cos be nice or I’ll 😭 and you’ll see what it’d be like having her about

Jimmy: not got a dementia diagnosis neither, I reckon I can remember what having her about were like, tah

Janis: not like you had me about

Jimmy: I had nobody about like I had you

Janis: nah, not yet

Jimmy: ?

Janis: it’s just gonna be

Janis: I’m trying to prepare myself for it but

Jimmy: Prepare yourself for what, you heard, nobody’ll take your place

Jimmy: I’ll never have none of that again, not the same

Janis: keep me special and I’ll keep you, I don’t care how sad that makes me sound

Jimmy: I only care how sad it makes me to have to past tense it

Janis: I hate myself but I know that don’t make you feel no better

Jimmy: It makes us feel worse, stop it before I have to really emotionally blackmail you

Janis: any time, mate, any time

Jimmy: doubt it’ll be what the doctor orders, you’re best to listen and leave it out

Janis: leave you alone, I know

Jimmy: Don’t hate yourself for my sake when I don’t hate you

Janis: it’s mine too, you’re alright

Janis: in one life I’d really have loved if I’d not fucked everything up and could have kept hold of you, you know

Jimmy: We only get one, mate

Janis: not according to my mother but as per, perhaps she’s talking total shit

Janis: be too good to be true, that

Jimmy: Yeah, that it would

Janis: I wish I could keep you happy, I really do

Jimmy: I false advertised it, far as jobs go

Janis: I stopped trying too

Janis: you deserve someone who won’t

Jimmy: So do you

Janis: fuck’s sake

Jimmy: A pisstake, I know

Janis: I can’t stop wanting it, I don’t know how

Jimmy: Wrong person to ask, me

Janis: maybe it’s okay, or we can tell ourselves it is

Jimmy: All it needs be is more okay than the alternative

Janis: and if it isn’t for you, you tell me to fuck off, I don’t care how much it hurts me, promise

Jimmy: I can promise you I’ll not say that, hand on heart

Janis: you’re so

Janis: but I love you

Jimmy: the dickhead I am, like it or not

Janis: you heard I do

Janis: doctor’ll teach you to stand it yourself, or some top notch pills will

Jimmy: There’s my ‘win’ then, all the artificial sunshine I can hack

Janis: might be fun, chemical holiday

Jimmy: no worse than the ones I went on as a kid, can’t be

Janis: say that’s practically a given, babe

Jimmy: Alright, near forgot you were a pill expert ‘cause of it being the family trade once upon a time

Janis: my mothers wonderful choice in men

Janis: only a 🤏 jealous they wouldn’t put me on shit right now

Jimmy: Where you’re wrong, all sorts of happy pills are safe to crack on with, barely cause any weird defects or owt

Janis: 🥳 [the dates you suggested]

Janis: safer, though

Jimmy: Do what I can to let the sun in for you

Janis: not afraid of the dark, it’s okay

Jimmy: Just getting your hair wet

Jimmy: hang on, Grace again, that one

Janis: ain’t even hers, make it make sense

Jimmy: gotta show some respect for the animal that died

Janis: 🦡🙌

Jimmy: RIP

Janis: I missed you

Jimmy: I’ve missed you an’ all

Janis: should I ask you how works been, is that a thing mates do, educate me

Jimmy: I’ve only got the one other and he does nowt of the sort

Jimmy: don’t reckon he knows the job I do

Janis: not convinced he remembers his own half the time so sounds about right

Jimmy: can’t say I right blame him, his ain’t rock star like he were after and nor’s mine as ‘fun’ as all that

Janis: could tell him that you get to photograph fit girls all day, he’d be impressed by that

Jimmy: No need to impress him, not in the market for a boyfriend yet

Janis: well, it upsets me less than Grace does as a contender but that’s purely ‘cos I could fantasize about that and not feel dead bad

Jimmy: ready to go from well back in the day, that fantasy of yours, don’t let us stop you

Janis: I’m behaving, honest

Jimmy: You heard, up to you how you want to

Jimmy: whatever gets your broken clock going, ain’t that the saying?

Janis: not at your expense

Janis: or Pete’s, though slightly less relevant as it wouldn’t be the first thing I brought up if I saw him down Tescos

Jimmy: Nor him these days, I don’t doubt

Janis: yeah, another one who’d have all the bad words to say

Jimmy: can get in the queue behind us if you like, he’ll have enough to say he never heard all that bollocks off me before every other dickhead’s told him

Janis: why would you wanna talk about that, like it’s good news

Janis: he’ll understand, remember that girlfriend he had [when you were an age who was clearly just the worst and made him look a fool]

Jimmy: I’m not bothered if he don’t, I ain’t got it in us to keep on trying to make other dickheads understand things

Janis: 😍

Janis: you seen the doctor without us

Jimmy: Soon I will do

Janis: I understand, you know

Janis: you don’t have to tell me nothing twice, though you reckon I never listen in the first place

Jimmy: Wouldn’t say never, you have your moments

Janis: but I ask nicely, got to admit

Jimmy: so nice, you

Janis: oi, be sincere about what a delight I am, dickhead

Jimmy: I am, never could read a room, that there’s a never for you

Janis: fucking hell, make me sound like I’m special in a bad way

Janis: I’ll be paranoid

Jimmy: made yourself sound it, nowt to do with us, I said you were nice, no truer word for when I saw you the other day

Janis: if I called you nice, you’d say it was 🙂 equivalent

Jimmy: What do you want me to call you then?

Janis: that’d be telling

Jimmy: right, tell us

Janis: I can’t, just gonna have to be nicer this time you see me ‘til you think of it yourself

Jimmy: Back to being fit and mysterious for old time’s sake, are you?

Jimmy: alright

Janis: if you tell me I’m too old for it I will have to fight you

Jimmy: you can still get yourself into it, like your [an item of clothing she still has]

Janis: Libi said I was too old to be a model, that’s a tenner out the card for her

Janis: and she won’t be borrowing [said item of clothing]

Jimmy: She would, age to be discovered now, her

Jimmy: you’re sod all but competition, be costing her loads more than that tenner an’ all

Janis: see, never a nonce, you

Jimmy: Tah, ‘cause see, I can read how sincere that were

Janis: okay, okay, I believe you

Janis: you’re misguided and you think I’m proper nice

Janis: thank you

Jimmy: Brainwashed our kid called it

Janis: ouch, like

Jimmy: I said, he’s been the delight, never mind you reckoning you’re the nightmare one or owt else but nice

Janis: can’t even be impressed

Janis: wanna talk about one of ‘em coming for my gigs, cheek of it

Jimmy: can’t be bothered, it’s nice to chat to someone who don’t fancy treating us like I’ve got battered missus syndrome off you

Janis: say what you like about the shit he might’ve seen, he hasn’t seen a divorce or nowt of the sort

Janis: he doesn’t know how anything like that goes, that most the time you still love each other and that you don’t hate each other’s guts like the films

Jimmy: How many films they’ve both seen is half the trouble, I should’ve let him have a bit more real life experience

Janis: get ready

Janis: could’ve gone my life without seeing Libi dancing on some spotty little twat but there we go

Jimmy: SO nice of you to remind us of all that

Jimmy: she’s not seen him since sobering up, has she?

Janis: She could barely seem interested drunk, I don’t think so

Janis: was very #triggering, as Gracie might say

Jimmy: Fuck’s sake, between the pair of them, I’ve a headache

Janis: on the plus side, you’ll look very sexy with grey hair

Janis: but I know, I just wish I could help you out more with Bobby so it was properly equal how it should be

Jimmy: I’ll have the compliment as you never noticed my accidental poetry up there, even making us rhyme again now, they are

Janis: if that don’t sum it up, unrecognised genius, you

Jimmy: Piss poor and unloved in my one bloody lifetime 🎻

Janis: 💔

Jimmy: divorce’ll have the first one true any road

Janis: nah, fuck that

Janis: let’s just let it fucking, default, I dunno

Janis: if you reckon I owe you something, come get it

Jimmy: I don’t want nowt like that off you

Janis: weren’t why I married you, be a shite financial decision, respectfully

Jimmy: None taken for the second time, like

Janis: I’ve told you, I don’t want a thing off you you can’t afford to give, I swear

Janis: you aren’t gonna wake up to no letter saying nowt different, never

Jimmy: Nor you, solicitor’s an even worse financial decision

Janis: so unless you fancy one and you wanna make her your 2nd wife, let’s not, yeah

Jimmy: Okay

Janis: okay

Jimmy: Keep us posted about the dog though, when you know what you’re doing with all that, don’t hate the idea of ALL letters

Janis: 💌

Janis: I will

Jimmy: In a bit then?

Janis: yeah, I’m talking your ear off again

Janis: I’m such a mess these days, I can’t work out if I’ll be telling you about the dog first or seeing you for another lunch date but, whichever one, I’m excited to see you again

Jimmy: I started it

Jimmy: I like talking to you

Jimmy: and seeing you

Janis: we don’t have to stop

Janis: I like it as much

Janis: just trying to find the messages with the dog lady, now she is fucking chatty

Jimmy: Rather you than me, poor Libs wouldn’t end up with no dog ‘cause I’d put the lady right off

Janis: ‘cos middle-aged women are the worst preds, never safe, poor boy 😤

Jimmy: leave it out telling her I’m single when you pop up

Janis: she wishes it were a swap

Janis: not happening, Helen

Jimmy: Can see Case in his element

Janis: just handles the wannabe MILFs different, suppose

Jimmy: and if that ain’t #triggering, what is?

Janis: I felt the instant regret

Jimmy: I wish you had of

Janis: it wouldn’t have changed things for us

Jimmy: Depends on the us, me and him it would’ve

Janis: true

Jimmy: Too late now, we’ve both said it before

Janis: I said I’d go, if it meant you two would fix things

Jimmy: It wouldn’t, you might as well stay

Janis: be a pisstake to everyone if I left

Jimmy: It’s your one life

Janis: other people are involved though, we’re both old enough to admit it’s messier than all that

Jimmy: But it’s also been done, there’s no going back and undoing it for nobody that’s involved

Jimmy: they’ll live, we all have to

Janis: I know that

Jimmy: have to get back behind us in that queue if they fancy that, no dickhead does more than me, but there’s no fix, trust us, I’ve had a look everywhere

Janis: I don’t want to go, I would if it would work but it won’t, sorry to Bobs on that one

Jimmy: His brain ain’t done developing, what I’ve heard

Janis: even we’ve got a few months to go, fucking hell, like

Jimmy: 🤞 that’s what 100% cures us, be nice

Janis: but

Janis: fine 🎂

Jimmy: ?

Janis: well, I will miss your underdeveloped brain when it’s gone, that’s all

Jimmy: Stick in a jar for you 🎂

Jimmy: nhs must still do lobotomies, they worked SO well

Janis: just put us in matching jars and call it a day

Jimmy: you’ve forfeited his and hers, have to be some bollocks BFF jars

Janis: think of a decent caption or I’m tipping you out, dickhead

Jimmy: plan all along, that

Jimmy: bit of peace and quiet down the drain

Janis: some BFF

Jimmy: Never said I were good at it, ask Pete

Janis: I doubt he’s got it in him to slag me off like I need to hear

Jimmy: People can surprise you, I’d be the dickhead to know, these days

Janis: never say never, eh

Jimmy: more of a jumpscare but still, no need for the other huns to take down their toilet signs saying the like of what I just did do

Janis: get it, you’re gonna put all your energy into home decor

Janis: let the glitter and crushed velvet shine now this dickhead’s out the way

Jimmy: Be a pisstake to let Libi or her dog sleep in the spare room as is

Janis: do you want to stay there?

Jimmy: At the minute I’ve got no choice in it either way, every dickhead goes on about how stressful moving is at the best of times

Jimmy: you don’t need telling

Janis: not wrong, if it’s a thing that’s stable and you need that, don’t blame you

Janis: least I know enough cunts ‘round here to fall on my feet, it was alright, no need for sympathy

Jimmy: You don’t like it if there’s a need or there’s not

Janis: I’m the last person who deserves it, always

Janis: and you’re the one person who don’t owe me none about this entire situation

Jimmy: if you say so, Janis

Janis: why are you pretending to know my name now

Jimmy: I do know it, and you

Janis: you just don’t know how to hate me

Jimmy: Make me sound special needs now

Jimmy: I’m fed up of every dickhead telling me what I should or shouldn’t do

Janis: I didn’t tell you to, not today

Janis: I might’ve before, some of it I forget when it was really bad

Jimmy: Hating you don’t make no difference, I’ll still love you

Janis: I’ll never learn how to stop loving you, that’s a never

Jimmy: The hate I’ve got for my dad never got me nowhere, not far enough to be worth owt

Janis: yeah

Janis: so, don’t, tell every dickhead to fuck off

Jimmy: Like a spam NYE text @ this whole town

Janis: exactly

Janis: fuck this town, they’ve always got plenty to talk about and it never mattered as much as what we wanted to do and what we felt

Janis: won’t tell you I support you no matter what again but

Jimmy: It’s mostly about your relatives, tell Gracie she’s due another jilting at the altar or pregnancy scare

Janis: on it

Janis: half the rumours or shit they reckon they know is probably shit they’ve said before, don’t matter to them what’s true, only how it looks

Jimmy: We’ve used it to our advantage before, might as well keep on

Janis: look, we all know I’m not above making up some salacious bullshit about my own blood

Janis: I’ll do it for you, no joke

Jimmy: I don’t care, I’m not a school kid no more, and what bollocks goes round the office already goes over my head, there to work not make no new mates

Janis: cross your heart?

Jimmy: It’s them pair I’m worried about, not myself

Janis: what should we do?

Jimmy: Nowt we can, neither of us have time to homeschool ‘em

Jimmy: have to just 🤞 they hack it alright, whatever they hear, least Libi’s used to it, and he’s deaf, all that’ll help 🤏

Janis: They both know the truth, and what they reckon about it

Janis: nothing no random can say that is worse than all that, that’s always been how it goes, trust us

Jimmy: yeah, exactly

Janis: if he needs a punching bag, I’m serious about it

Janis: he’s angry at me, let him be, yeah, it’ll be better for you both

Jimmy: I’m not suggesting he uses you as one, let him go down gym for an actual like the rest of us have done

Janis: said you know me, when have I ever stood there and taken it?

Janis: fuck fighting a losing battle, all I’m saying, he don’t like me, he don’t like Libi at the minute, is what it is

Jimmy: fuck fighting full stop, us lot at each other’s throats is total bollocks

Janis: he isn’t there yet

Janis: you and me, we’ve had more life experience, we’re supposed to be adults, allegedly

Janis: if you try and rush him into being matey with her or anything, he’ll kick back on it and you

Jimmy: Alright, but that don’t mean I’m giving him a free pass to say what the fuck he wants to you or to her, if it goes on when I ain’t there, sod all I can do, but I’m not chucking him my permission and saying off you go, slide into their DMs and be a twat

Janis: Okay, I see your point

Janis: not a good example for you to set

Jimmy: I’ve worked myself half to death for years to avoid that being the example he has, might as well pack his bags myself and send him to Ian’s

Janis: he’d come running back faster than his legs could carry him

Janis: but no, I know you’re not gonna do that either, nor should you, not that much of a hard cow

Jimmy: A losing battle’s how it feels, all of it

Jimmy: being up, dressed, going to meetings, coming home to cook tea, on and on the list could go

Janis: because he’s throwing it back in your face right now

Janis: that’s why we’ve gotta find shit outside of him for you to care about, for yourself

Janis: because whether he’s being a normal teenager or being a little bastard, you can’t rely on him for anything more

Jimmy: I’ll care about the dog, I said

Janis: okay, the dog

Janis: I’m gonna go get it

Jimmy: Now?

Janis: yeah, fuck it

Jimmy: You’re

Janis: it’s important

Janis: and he’ll love it whatever he says, he’s not a psychopath

Jimmy: I love you whatever he says

Jimmy: How could I not?

Janis: I love you

Jimmy: [tell her about whatever dog food or supplies you have, waiting hidden somewhere like your car boot or whatever so Bobby doesn’t know, because he meant what he said about actually taking care of Peach and it’s clearly given him something to do already]

Janis: [likewise tell him about whatever stuff the lady said she’s got like sometimes they have blankets or a toy etc to get comfortable and what things you’ll pick up that he hasn’t got yet]

Jimmy: It’s a plan

Janis: 😁

Janis: she’s so cute

Jimmy: She’ll do for a start as something to bother about

Janis: who could say no to that face

Jimmy: Even your nan would have a job, I reckon

Janis: sucker for a stray

Jimmy: here I had ideas what me and her had were special, turns out she’s everybody’s with a massive enough sob story

Janis: didn’t hear that from me

Janis: proper desperate vibes, me slagging off everyone you fancy

Jimmy: Your right as my ex, that

Janis: you’re right though, definitely the least I can do is be the actual psycho ex no boy has ever had

Janis: I’ll go for it, give it my all

Jimmy: Speak for yourself, I’ll be 2 for 2 if you’re gonna act crazy an’ all

Janis: Psh, I’d do a better job at it than that

Jimmy: I’d rather you didn’t, bit of a rep for us to have

Janis: an amazing one, made us go mental losing you

Jimmy: or being with us did

Janis: got to learn how to spin it, see

Janis: and you know you’ve just got questionable taste, actually but no one needs to hear that

Jimmy: questionable actions, there’s nowt wrong with my taste on it’s own

Janis: it’s alright, I’m good looking, put up with more for less, people have

Jimmy: True enough

Janis: not even gonna call me a bighead?

Janis: must be excited

Jimmy: Saves us having to chuck you a compliment you won’t take

Janis: convenient

Jimmy: Very

Janis: you’re

Janis: too

Jimmy: What?

Janis: ?

Jimmy: I’m too? Excited? Nice? Tired? What?

Janis: no, you said I’m-

Janis: you are too, though if you meant I’m well smart, I might have to take it back

Jimmy: I meant you’re as much of all of it as you ever were

Janis: then you can keep it too

Jimmy: Feels fake, but alright

Janis: I know how it feels but

Jimmy: Yeah, that but’s important, I know

Janis: it’s all I’ve got

Jimmy: I know how it feels, no but this time

Janis: all we need is a little right now 🤏 will do

Jimmy: Both of us are clinging to 3 letter words, but for you and dog for me, ghost of Bill would be chuffed to bits by that

Janis: is a bit babies first word, init

Jimmy: could be worse, least I’m trying for mine not being you, as I’ve been there, done that, for dear life already

Janis: yeah

Jimmy: definition of insanity and all that, letting it repeat

Janis: so I’ve heard

Jimmy: there you go then

Janis: I know what you’re saying

Jimmy: easy spellings, even if I weren’t calling you smart a bit ago, you’re not thick

Janis: its enough, isn’t it

Jimmy: You tell us, is it?

Janis: no, you tell me

Jimmy: Tell you what?

Janis: it can wait, it’s alright

Jimmy: What kind of answer is that?

Janis: I just realised we don’t need to have this conversation now

Janis: we’ve got something good to focus on

Jimmy: Alright

Janis: it’s nothing like, I dunno, I want this to be about you and the dog and just good shit

Jimmy: You say that like my head won’t make it into something

Janis: yeah… fuck it number two then

Janis: you don’t want to hook up again, do you? That’s what’s enough

Jimmy: I don’t know

Janis: okay, that’s an alright answer

Jimmy: I want to same as I’d have you back like a shot if you’d just come home

Jimmy: I know it don’t mean it’s a good idea

Janis: I just feel like I’ve pushed you or something

Jimmy: I’ve been forced into all sorts, that isn’t on the list

Janis: good

Janis: just, if you’re ever sure, let me know?

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omar-rudeberg · 3 years ago

Text

Wilhelm consumed all the drugs on his person that same night, and that's what caused him to be frolicking on a football field, disco dancing with metal men and sadly sobbing over Simon. You can't change my mind (& I reached tag limit telling you why)

So…what happened to the drugs Wilhelm snuck into his coat at the Society drinks? 👀 Did Simon see them when undressing Wilhelm and putting him to bed and just ignore it? Or did Wilhelm throw them out? Or is he just saving them for a rainy day?

#Mostly because a) Wilhelm was in such a precarious mental state after losing erik + losing simon + the first loss of his Stockholm life #Boy was fragile and he knew it - he's used alc + drugs + clubbing to fight internal battles before and stuck with what he knew #And Fuck You August for enabling this behaviour and fucking off on him #b) I really really really do NOT want drugs involved in this shit with Simon and how it's all going to go down in season 2.#Definitely wishful thinking on my part but I'll manifest til the cows come home - I do NOT want Wilhelm fucking with Simon in the form of #an overdose or drug dependency or another drug scandal. It's not fucking fair. And we know Wilhelm doesn't know #so this is very premptive of me because actually a perfect catalyst for Wilhelm and Simon understanding each other and forcing a #conversation about Simon's family situation could be another football field situation. But I CATEGORICALLY do not WANT that because #1. We've seen it already - we've done the overdosed high as a kite inebriated revelation. We've done that. And 2.#There's so many other ways to explore that if it's narratively required - give us some other nuanced perspective into humanity please #And also 3. There's... No need for severe inebriation to have Wilhelm /realise/ something or choose something. Remember the end of s1 folks #Wilhelm's got a fire up his ass already. He loves Simon. He wants Simon. He's fkn pissed at August + Mum. He /knows/ these things about #himself and who he is and what he wants to fight for at this time. Developmentally Wilhelm's character arc doesn't NEED the drugs imo.#Which brings me to (and golly goodness this is a subdotpointed list in tags fuck me) reason c) The drugs arc seems... Finished. In s1.#As far as it pertains to the actual DRUGS.#We have the set up - the complication - the doubling down on the complication - we have the pay-off (football field) and then a #second pay-off (Alex getting caught). We have how this issue affects our leads - we have their fight and then their resolution. We even see #on screen the denouement to the school knowing about the drugs - we see all the Society boys lying through their teeth about it. And with #Alex falling on the sword we have the wrapping up of the narrative element. NOW I'm not saying there's not lingering affects. Obviously -#We have Simon's trauma and Wilhelm's zero knowledge of it. We have Wilhelm's throwing Alex under the bus which was never fully explored due #to the sex tape - but what does this mean for Wilhelm as a person and development as a character that he did that?#But basically you won't change my mind because I firmly believe that d) There will be no time for this shit in season 2. Bitch is gonna be #PACKED full of DRAMA just like our boys want because there is SO much that needs to be resolved.The drugs served to bring our boys together #and was one of the main skeleton themes for s1. In s2 we'll see different things - we'll have more palace + more sex tape scandal #+ more Simon/Sara exploration + I hope a through line of parenting. Idk basically I think there's too much that's too important to get to #in s2 that they won't have time to properly address more drugs shit. And I'd trust my clown mother to address more drugs shit PROPERLY if #it were to happen. So anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk congrats if u made it to the end of this rambling nightmare.#Drugs #Analysis #Mine

60 notes · View notes

diaphragmjellyfish · 4 years ago

Text

Research

Finally wrote something again! Sorry it took so long.

How exactly do you get a dog to lose your scent? Because avoiding your werewolf boyfriend Embry was proving a lot harder than you had anticipated. Last weekend was… eventful. You guys had finally done it. Gone all the way. After 6 months of dating and an imprint bond, you both finally decided you were ready to take that next step. And you’ve only had one thought since that night.

That shit hurted.

It was borderline unbearable. The pain was searing. You lied there until Embry was done, faking moans and even faking the Big O, and you were less than eager to do it again. Were you broken? He seemed to enjoy it, so obviously you were to blame. He’d been super clingy and lovey since that night, even more so than usual, and you didn’t have the heart to be around him knowing you had faked it like that. What if he found out? He’d be crushed. What if he wanted to do it again? You couldn’t take that pain another night. What if he faked it too and was going to break up with you the next time he saw you? Yeah, no. Avoidance was the way to go.

He wanted to take you out to see a movie. You mysteriously came down with a case of allergies in the middle of winter.

He wanted to pick you up after school and give you a ride home. You had the sudden urge to join a club that was meeting after school that day.

He called, your phone was on silent.

He texted, you suddenly became illiterate.

But he kept trying. God, why was he making this so difficult?! Thoughts like this swirled through your head as you walked the long way home from school. He knew your usual route, so obviously that was out of the question. You took a path through the woods that would eventually spit you out right by the beach where you could sit and think. The forest had always felt like a second home to you. Peaceful, comfortable, private. You walked for some time before hearing twigs snapping in the distance. Probably a rabbit or something. Louder snapping. Bigger sticks. Definitely not a rabbit. You halted, waiting for the creature to pass, when a large gray wolf stalked out of the trees.

Damn.

He was wearing the softest, cutest, most “kicked puppy” look on his face that you had ever seen. Head bowed, he walked up to you slowly, whining. So he had noticed your avoidance. You held your hand out to him, petting the thick fur between his ears. He sniffed your hand, giving it a soft lick.

“Hi,” you whispered. He whined louder at this. “Embry…” you started, before he crouched down, a silent cue for you to get on his back. He waited.

Guess this was inevitable. And at least him showing up in wolf form gave you some time to think about how exactly you would explain what had happened. With another soft sigh, you climbed up on his back, holding the fur tightly as he trotted off into the trees. After about 5 minutes, you realized that he was taking you to Sam and Emily’s house. You weren’t in the mood to be around the rest of the pack right now.

“Embry, I’m kind of busy today. I don’t really have time to hang out with the pack.”

He ignored you, trotting along as if your statement was the buzz of a mosquito in his ear. When you reached the house, however, you quickly realized that no one else was there. They must all be out. It was a Friday afternoon, after all.

When you reached the lawn, Embry stopped and crouched once more so you could dismount. When you did, he ran off behind the house, walking back out several minutes later as the inky-haired boy you had grown to love. His face was full of sadness, yours full of anxiety.

“Let’s go for a walk,” he said.

You silently followed him down the path that led to the cliffs, waiting for him to say something else. He never did, only kept walking. You struggled to keep up, but were too stubborn in your silence to ask him to slow down. You both finally reached the rocky cliffs jutting out over the frigid ocean. He stopped, staring out at the horizon. You paused next to him, waiting. After another several minutes of silence, you grew impatient.

“It’s supposed to snow Monday,” you said.

You waited. Silence.

“The news said they might even cancel school.”

A pause. Nothing.

“I don’t know about you, but I could definitely use a three day weeken-”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” he cut you off, seeming agitated. For as long as you’d known Embry, he was never in a bad mood. Never anything but happy. Maybe sad on a few occasions, but never angry. Never frustrated. And it was making you nervous.

And now it was your turn to be silent. Yes! You wanted to say. You hurt me! But you couldn’t. Wouldn’t. He didn’t do it on purpose, so why would you make him feel guilty about something that was your problem and your problem alone?

“Because, if I’m counting correctly, it’s been 5 days since I’ve so much as heard from you. Barely a text back. Not a call, not a ‘hey! I’m super busy this week.’ Why are you avoiding me? I thought… after last weekend, we should be more in love than ever right?! Did it not mean anything to you?”

You remained quiet, tears pooling in your eyes. You gave no sign that you were going to respond, so he kept going.

“Just tell me where your fucking head is at, Y/N. You can’t keep brushing me off like this. Did I do something wrong? Do you regret what we did? Am I, like… not ripped enough for you or something?”

“Embry, no,” you pleaded. You could see the insecurity behind his eyes. You had to tell him what was going on, but you knew it would crush him. “It’s not that at all.”

He waited. “Then what?”

You closed your eyes, a tear slipping down your face. You wiped it away quickly before taking a deep breath. “I have been avoiding you.” You looked up at his face at this, finding tears building up in his own eyes. “I love you, Embry. But last weekend, just… I can’t do that again.”

He clenched his jaw, looking anywhere but your face and nodded. He was hurt. You definitely could have worded that better.

“Let me explain,” you pleaded. He wouldn’t look at you still, but didn’t walk away, so you kept going. “I think I might be broken or something, because that… It didn’t feel right.”

At this, he looked back at your face, switching from hurt to concerned almost immediately.

“Why would you think you’re broken?”

Another pause. “I know you would never hurt me on purpose…”

“You were in pain?” he panicked, fresh tears pricking in his eyes.

“It’s not your fault,” you hurried. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that? Why would you let me keep going?!”

“I’m sorry!” you cried, causing him to walk up and embrace you. You sobbed into his chest as he pet your hair, all signs of anger gone. “You were having a good time, and I didn’t wanna ruin it, but it hurt so bad…”

“Shhhhh,” he cooed as he rocked you from side to side, letting you calm down. “It’s okay.”

After several minutes, you finally stopped crying. He didn’t falter in his embrace, only left light kisses on your forehead and cheek.

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” he whispered into your hair.

“It’s not your fault,” you replied.

“Yes, it is. I’m supposed to take care of you. It was my job to make you feel good, and you were hurting that bad and I didn’t even notice.” You sniffled, just enjoying being in his arms. A few more minutes passed as you both calmed down.

“To be fair, I did take a drama class last semester. I’d say I put on a pretty convincing performance,” you added weakly, an attempt to lighten the mood.

He huffed a laugh, if for no other reason than to make you feel better. “Had me fooled,” he added.

You smiled, looking up at him. “I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

“It’s okay. I just wish you would have told me as soon as it started to hurt that you wanted to stop.”

“I know. I should have, I just got all in my head about it.”

“And I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll never forgive myself, and I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore,” he answered, nervously awaiting your response.

“I forgive you. And of course I still want to be with you, Embry. I love you. We just need to work on our communication skills a little bit,” you laughed.

“We do. And I’ll start. I would really love another chance to make you feel good. If you promise to be honest about how you’re feeling, I know I can do a way better job. But I understand completely if you wanna wait a while… or if you never wanna do it again. You’re in charge here.”

His words had your heart melting. He really did care about you, and you knew that if you had told him in the moment that you were in pain, he would have done anything to get you feeling good. You were always his first priority.

“I’d be willing to try again, but what we did last time didn’t work. I think we need to think of some new techniques or something,” you mumbled shyly.

“Tell you what. I’ll do some research, get some stuff, and you can come over tonight… if you want to. And we can maybe try again? And if you get there and aren’t feeling up to it, we can just watch a movie and cuddle. No pressure… I just miss you.”

You thought for a second. Worst case scenario, you’d cuddle on the couch and eat junk food. You trusted Embry completely, and if you said stop, you knew he would.

“Okay,” you replied.

__________________________________

After a long shower, some fresh makeup, and a cute-yet-comfortable outfit, you were ready to go over to Embry’s. Sure, the nerves were kicking in, but you trusted him when he said he would do some research. When you pulled up, he was already standing in the doorway smiling. You ran out and gave him a giant bear hug (or wolf hug), and he picked you up and carried you into his room, kicking the door closed with his foot.

“I missed you,” he said, face buried in your hair.

“You saw me like 3 hours ago,” you giggled in response.

“Yeah, but I haven’t seen you all week! Gotta get my Y/N fill or I might die!”

You laughed loudly, hands threading up into his hair as he sat down on the bed with you seated in his lap.

“Yeah, yeah, just try not to crowd me,” you cheekily replied.

He raised an eyebrow before tackling you back onto the bed, tickling you like a maniac and placing playful kisses all over your face and neck.

“Like this?! Don’t crowd you like this?”

“Embry stop!” you laughed, trying to suck in a breath between his manic tickles. When he finally stopped, he was lying between your legs, one hand grasping both your wrists above your head, the other propped beside you so as to not crush you. He stared lovingly at your face before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on your lips. His grip on your arms loosened, as if to say You can stop me anytime, but you didn’t. You kissed him back, arms staying in place to tell him that you were okay.

The kisses grew slightly more heated, but Embry kept them gentle. And every time you thought he was about to take things to the next step, he’d just kiss you some more. You were growing slightly impatient, breath labored and blood pumping fast. Your stomach became slightly warm, and every time you leaned up, he’d pull away.

“You’re being mean,” you whimpered.

He just looked at you and smirked before leaning down and capturing your lips once more. You could feel your blood heat in every part of your body. From your head to your toes, you felt warm and fuzzy, yet desperate for more,,, more touch, more pressure, more Embry. Growing frustrated, you hooked your legs around his waist and tried your best to pull him closer, unintentionally grinding your hips into his. When he brushed up against your core, you let out an involuntary sigh. It actually felt nice. He smiled into the kiss, pulling his lips away from yours and dragging them down to your jaw, and then your neck, suckling and sucking and leaving light red marks that made your head spin. The hand that was holding your wrists came down behind your back and up into your hair, firmly pulling your head back to give him better access to your neck.

This movement made your entire back arch up into his body. His grip in your hair tightened slightly, lips sucking your skin up into his mouth as he nibbled, before soothing with his tongue. Your toes curled, legs pulling him impossibly closer. When he felt this, he ground his hips down into yours. The combination of his hands, lips, and weight on top of you made you let out a gasp. Your hands held onto his shoulders for dear life, pulling his shirt up in an attempt to take it off. He got the hint and sat up to remove it, being away from your body for far too long for your taste. He didn’t lower fully back down, however, instead sliding his warm hands under your shirt and onto your stomach. You sat up, taking your sweatshirt off and throwing it violently across the room. His eyes widened as they looked down at your bare chest in an almost feral fashion. He gripped your thighs, tugging you down the bed with ease, and resuming his position on top of you, hands roaming all over your torso. He cupped your breasts gently, rolling your nipples softly between his fingers. You shut your eyes and threw your head back, enjoying the sensations. His kisses trailed from your neck and down to your chest, softly. Lovingly. When he reached your nipples, his tongue poked out and licked around each of them, before taking them into his mouth and sucking. His hands continued to caress your back, and he took his sweet time switching from one breast to the other, and back again, until he felt your skin grow almost as hot as his. You were writhing underneath him, panting as your mind tried to comprehend the sensations. And his mouth, God it was so warm. You felt him kiss the undersides of your breasts, and then your stomach, and then lower…

When he reached the waistband of your leggings, he brought his hands up as if to pull them off of you. He stopped, looking up at you for permission. You gave a lazy nod Yes, and lifted your hips to help him. He pulled your underwear off as well, spreading your legs and almost salivating at the sight of your soaking pussy. Not wanting to waste another second, he once again began placing kisses on your lower stomach, and then down to your hip bones, scraping his teeth lightly against the skin, which had you shuddering. He trailed lower, to where your thighs met your core, and began to suck lightly and the soft skin there. Your clit was throbbing by now, desperate for any sort of attention. You thrust your hips up, desperate for his mouth on the place you needed him, but he only pulled your legs over his shoulders and brought his arms across your stomach to hold you in place. Your hands went to his hair in an effort to control any aspect of this situation, but the boy was strong. He teased and teased and teased, until you thought you might very well crawl out of your own skin if he didn’t properly touch you soon. Embry brought his face right up to your center and licked into your entrance, making your toes curl once more. His hands gripped your hips as he brought you as far onto his tongue as he could, nose not quite brushing where you still needed him.

“Embry…” you whimpered, about to tell him what you needed.

“I know, baby. I got you,” he spoke, as he finally brought his warm tongue to lick a firm stripe up to your clit, swirling it around and sucking the swollen nub into his mouth.

You let out a moan. A real one. Your first real one. And it only encouraged Embry, as he began to suck and lick with a steady rhythm that caused your legs to shake. You felt your stomach start to coil after several minutes of this, hands fisting Embry’s hair even tighter. It felt amazing, but that coil wouldn’t snap. He started to notice you coming down slightly, orgasm fading away, when he brought his index finger into your mouth. You sucked on instinct, before he pulled it out and brought it down to your entrance. He swirled the digit around a few times and began to push in slowly. One knuckle. Then two. And then he was fully in you. Sucking your clit into his mouth yet again, he rubbed his finger up into your front wall, massaging the ridges there.

“Oh… Embry, oh my God,” you moaned. He used more pressure, and then brought his finger out and added another, slowly pushing them in together and resuming the ‘come-hither’ motion. You felt your muscles shake, losing all control, and the coil in your stomach tightened rapidly once again, only this time, it broke. Your back arched, eyes shut tight, mouth open in a silent scream as you came hard. Waves of pleasure drove through you, hands holding his head firmly onto your center. When you came down and opened your eyes, you looked down at his face to see an excited grin.

“If you tell me that was fake, I think I’ll cry,” he chirped.

You calmed your hard breathing enough to mutter a “That was real.”

“Do you wanna keep going?” he asked.

You nodded, taking note of the obvious tent in his shorts. You reached a hand down to grasp him, when he grabbed your wrist and said “Nuh-uh, I’m still making it up to you.”

He stood up off the bed and went over to a plastic shopping bag on his desk. He opened it and pulled out a condom, some lube, and a small pink toy. Your eyes widened, and he cockily stated, “told you I’d do some research. Come here Sweetheart.” He held a hand out to help you up, and moved you so that you were on your hands and knees, bum facing him as he stood at the edge of the bed. He tore the condom packet open with his teeth and rolled it on, and then opened the bottle of lube and slathered it all over himself. He then brought what was left on his hand up to your sensitive core, distributing the substance gently. Throwing the bottle onto the floor, he lined himself up with your entrance.

“You sure you wanna keep going?” he asked. You nodded in response. “I need you to say it, babe.”

“Yes, I want to keep going, Em,” you almost cried.

“Okay, but I need you to tell me if it hurts even a little. Promise?”

“Promise.”

He grasped your hip with one hand, guiding himself in with the other. Slowly, carefully, he became fully seated inside you, giving you a moment to adjust. You felt no pain, just a delicious stretch inside your walls. When Embry saw that you were relaxed, he pulled himself out a couple of inches and softly thrusted back in, looking for any signs of discomfort. He found none, and continued. He dragged himself in and out of you at a torturous pace that made your breathing pick up yet again. You needed more. You began rocking yourself back onto him, begging for a faster pace, and he complied. He pulled out several inches more this time, shoving back in at a quicker pace that had your toes curling and your moans going up in pitch. At this, he stopped holding back. Embry began pounding into you, hands gripping your hips tight enough to leave the good kind of bruise. You were moaning loudly, brain turning to mush. This is what sex was supposed to be like. What you’d always imagined it would be like. Passionate, loving, amazing.

Embry found himself reaching the edge, but would not allow himself to finish before you. He reached down onto the bed for the small pink toy that you had forgotten about. He flicked it on, brought his other hand down and around your throat to pull you up against him, and held the small vibrator right onto your clit. The pounding pressure of his dick paired with the fervent vibrations had you seeing stars. You came. Hard. You didn’t know how long the orgasm had lasted. When you came to, you were lying on your back on the bed, breathing still labored, as Embry cleaned your thighs off with a damp towel. He noticed you looking up at him.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” he cooed.

“Hey,” you responded weakly.

“How ya doing?”

“Really good,” you laughed.

“Yeah?” he beamed at you as you nodded in response. “Good. I’m gonna get you some water and then we can cuddle, okay?” You only smiled in contentment as he walked off into the hallway, returning shortly with a cup of cold water. “Sit up for me?”

“Can’t,” you answered, eliciting a laugh from him.

“C’mon, I’ll help you,” he spoke as he gently held the back of your head, supporting you as you leaned up to drink from the cup he was holding up to your mouth. After you took a few sips, he seemed satisfied and placed the cup on the floor, lying down next to you and pulling you close. “If you start ignoring me after that, I might have to kill you,” he teased.

“Don’t worry. I won’t ever ignore you again.” You sighed in contentment, listening to Embry’s soothing heartbeat, before you began to wonder. “By the way, what the heck kind of research did you do?”

He huffed a laugh before responding, “Some guy on the internet called Owen Grey.”

#twilight #wolf pack #embry call #embry call x reader #embry call smut #twilight smut #sam uley #jacob black #paul lahote #quil ateara #seth clearwater #jared cameron #leah clearwater #edward cullen #embry call x reader smut #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote smut

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orionsangel86 · 3 years ago

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I saw this post earlier today by @green-blue-heller which now has a confirmed source and has left me thinking all sorts of thoughts in relation to the drama of the SPN finale, Jensen’s general mood and behaviour over the past few months as well as his now unfortunately public falling out with Jared.

I don’t know about anyone else, but the name Free Will Entertainment for a production company is just so telling to me. Of all the names he could have come up with to name his new production company with which he clearly intended to gain the SPN rights and create new content, he named it after the one thing on the show that Dean Winchester wanted most of all, but never had, even right at the very end.

Doesn’t this just sound like the kind of thing someone would do who is pissed off with the way he (and a certain beloved cast mate) has been treated and has decided to spite everyone and take control, take back his free will and get ownership over those characters stories for himself?

To give Dean Winchester back the free will he never had?

I am sure I could be reading this wrong, but I can see a level of passive aggression towards the former creators and owners (the CW executives and the likes of Bob Singer and Kripke) in deciding on this name because at this point I am practically certain that Jensen hated the finale as much as we did, hated what they did to Dean and Cas (separately and as a pair) and desperately wants to fix it himself. Now that the distancing from Jared is clear, this seems even more likely to be the case. Jared who was the poster boy for the finale, praising it and calling it his favourite episode and basically throwing all his cast mates and supposed best friends under the bus in the process. No wonder Jensen stopped talking to him.

Honestly changing it to Chaos Machine only further encourages my opinion here because Jensen may well have realised how passive aggressive it sounded and decided to tone it down (though Chaos Machine is still a superb name and I wonder if it isn’t a little bit of a shout out to our chaotic fandom itself?)

I just love this image of Jensen, right after he’s done filming for SPN, still angry at Misha being cut out of the finale, and Dean being silenced and killed off like a freaking one episode guest character, pack up his life and move to the mountains away from Jared, ignoring all SM and finale PR, and immediately get started on setting up his own production company for the soul purpose to continue telling this story so he can figure a way to bring Dean back, keep the fandom alive, and ultimately fix what the CW broke. And calling it Free Will Entertainment in his fit of internalised rage.

I just think its a neat thought thats all. :’)

I’m a full on believer in the Jackles longcon now. Perhaps my faith in this first production is still pretty much non existent, because its still with the CW after all, even without the likes of Singer and Leming to further ruin things. But I can see this being the first in a bigger game plan of Jensen’s to ultimately fix that horrible ending and give Dean a send off he actually deserves. If there is any hope here, it lies with that stubborn silent beautiful mountain man and his Destiel shipping, Castiel loving, passionately pro LGBTQ+ open minded wife.

#yeah okay I'm putting on the clown makeup again #so sue me #supernatural #jensen ackles #dean winchester #destiel #castiel #spn prequel #chaos machine #spn speculation #jackles longcon

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adonis-koo · 4 years ago

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tease

| 24 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,

Word Count: 10k

Previous | Next

Tags: penetrative sex, it’s a little rough, oral (m & f recieveing) they 69 i’m sorry, dirty talk, an attempted lap dance, reverse cowgirl because we love women who ride, slight degradation, praise kink, spanking, doggy style, little hair pulling and breath play,

Song Mood

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter present them.

“No!”

“What do you mean no!? Baby be reasonable you can’t tell me you’re gonna cook all of that.” Jungkook glared down childishly at the cart only semi full of groceries that you had crossed off the list you had made before dragging Jungkook out, if he had it his way, you’d both be at the theme park right now.

But seriously, his fridge was empty! Nothing, and you were not eating take out, again. It was ridiculous. So in effort to combat the increasing desire to cook at home, you compiled a list of meals you wanted to make and eat before demanding Jungkook go with you to the store because hey, if he wanted to live together then this was going to be a team effort.

You had asked Jungkook what he wanted to eat as well and he shrugged saying he really didn’t care and therefore, the world was your oyster in terms of cooking, “Me be reasonable!?” You replied back indignant, an angry pout on your face as you flailed your hands, “You’re the one who tried to put two 24 packs of soda in the cart, a box of snack cakes, matcha snowballs and mochi in the cart? You think I’m gonna let you add ice cream to the list as well?”

You knew Jungkook had a sweet tooth but you didn’t realize just how big of a sweet tooth he had and before you knew it, you were constantly making Jungkook put things back, he glared at you and you glared back at him. War sirens could be heard to anyone passing by you both as he gripped the tub of ice cream stubbornly.

“It’s either mochi or ice cream Jungkook, we’re not getting both.” You replied as you crossed your arms. And for the first time in your life, you watched Jungkook’s lips quiver into a pout, puffing a childish breath as he turned around in defeat, going to put the ice cream back.

You had to stifle your giggle because you knew he’d take it as a challenge otherwise, he was just too cute sometimes. You found his sweet tooth, in fact, endearing. Most men in his position would probably try to act all tough and manly, only liking things bitter like their personalities but Jungkook? Far from it.

Jungkook came back with his arms crossed and that broody pout still on his face making you smile unable to stop your giggles making him even more broody as he took the cart from you with a huff, “Stop laughing at me! You’re cock blocking all my favorite snacks.”

“Is that all you buy by yourself? Just snacks? That’s not healthy!” You giggled even more at the way he rolled his eyes, obviously your guess was correct, “Besides, once I start cooking you’ll appreciate it, I just know it. And,” You raised your brows as your lips puckered together, “You were the one that wanted us to live together, this is on you.”

Jungkook huffed as he pushed the cart, looking down at the list that was laid out on top of your purse, “How is that going by the way?” Jungkook’s expression melted to one of curiosity as he raised his brow, “Have you talked to your landlord yet?”

“Yeah,” You paused at the fresh produce outside the isle you both excited as you grabbed onto the cart, it was slow today and much appreciated so you wouldn’t have to battle over food with people, “The apartment is still in good condition even after...what happened,” Your lips twisted into a weak smile as you grabbed one of the reusable bags you always used at the store as you placed a fresh stalk of chokboy inside it, “My lease was getting ready to come up anyways so we agreed that with two months of rent he’d terminate my lease. I’ll get that to him Monday and then I’ll have thirty days to pack up everything and get it moved.”

Jungkook nodded, “Which by the way, everyone agreed to come over and help clean up later today,” Your lips quivered into a pout...you...when did he even ask them that? You knew everyone had of course offered help but well, you hadn’t expected anyone to actually come and help you...well besides Jungkook but that was just a given.

“Don’t look like that,” Jungkook snorted, reaching out as he squished your cheeks, a tiny smile tugging on your cheeks as you grabbed his wrist, pushing him away, “They asked by the way, I didn’t do anything. It just got mentioned in the groupchat.”

“I didn’t see it.” You frowned as you checked your phone and much to your confusion you were right, there weren't any new messages to your notice.

Jungkook’s smile was a little sheepish as he shrugged, “We have a guys groupchat.”

“That I'm not a part of!” You cried out with a pout as you crossed your arms, your expression sulky, you obviously weren’t surprised all the boys had their own chat, you were a part of so many it was hard to keep track but, couldn’t they ask in the main one? Where everyone was a part of?

“Well you aren’t a guy baby,” Jungkook cooed out, saccharine dripping on his tone as he squished your cheeks, “Besides…” He had a lopsided smile on his face as he leaned on the handle of the cart, “It was supposed to be a surprise but….I can’t help myself. I didn’t want you to cry again.”

It was hard to not smile as you pushed him away playfully making him shove you back as you pulled the cart along, “I can’t believe everyone really wants to help...I mean...I just figured it’d be me and you.”

“Well believe it or not they are your friends too now,” Jungkook snorted writing off on the list you made as you placed fresh tomatoes into the bag you had set the bokchoy in, “What are you even gonna make with this shit?” He furrowed his brows.

“Food! I was gonna make some bulgogi one night and some porkbelly another with banchan and maybe some jjangijanma? I’m not just spending money on food that's gonna go bad Koo!” You stomped your foot in annoyance at why he kept complaining about you feeding both you and him decent food, “We can’t live off takeout, I’m not gonna stand for that! And!”

You pointed a finger at him, “I want to get some paint for the living room! And some curtains because what if some creep is staring at us at night?” You shuddered, at the irrational fear but you couldn’t help it, regardless of how irrational it was you wouldn’t stand for it, especially if it was an easy fix, “Along with a rug too for the living center- oh! I was thinking about maybe finding a coffee table for the couch too? Too put in front of it?”

“Okay wait, wait, wait, slow down,” Jungkook held out his hands, his expression bewildered at your sudden long list of demands for the apartment, “Just because we’re living together doesn’t mean you can just hijack my apartment.”

“Sure I can,” His lips parted indignantly as you smiled brightly with a shrug, “It’s not like you bothered to decorate anyways and I’m sure your landlord won’t mind a fresh coat of paint on those musty looking walls. Besides, it’s not yours anymore, it’s ours. You think we could get some new lighting for the kitchen too by the way? The white light really makes the grey walls look gross.”

Jungkook puffed a breath, a brief smile on his lips as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, “Let's just focus on one thing at a time first okay?” You squealed at his words, bouncing in excitement at his approval of letting you completely hijack his apartment but honestly, it reeked of lack of care and testosterone. It could use a feminine touch, “We can start off with some paint and lighting, that I can do. And….” He rubbed his neck, “It’s not like we don’t have time, I just got a call from Sejin this morning telling me Cherry isn’t gonna be open until Monday.”

You frowned, “Isn’t that when SSU starts though?” How was that even gonna go? You doubt a lot of people- if any at all would show up, especially given what had just happened. Would it even still be on this year with everything that’s happened?

“Yeah that’s the ploy,” Jungkook shrugged, just as unsure as you as he answered, “A lot of free and cheap entertainment, drinks will be half off, Sejin and Bang are really trying to make the most of Cherry’s comeback to try and bury what happened. You’d be surprised at how superficial people are, especially men when it comes to strip clubs.”

You sighed wistfully as you shrugged, you wouldn’t deny him there, men were strange creatures and you wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of business did come back without a care in the world for what happened as long as it meant cheap drinks and naked girls.

“But hey! That gives us more time to prep for you,” Jungkook smiled that charming bright smile of his as he bumped into you making you whine a little as you bumped him back despite a smile threatening to tug on your lips, “Meaning I got a strip pole to install when we get back to the apartment. We won’t need Cherry anyways to choreograph now.”

You were wondering what that package was on his front porch anyways, he had only smiled that smile of his as he shrugged innocently but apparently he had been wanting to get a pole for the apartment for awhile now.

“Well I already have some songs picked out,” Your smile was a little timid at that pure enthusiasm Jungkook always radiated with pride when it came to you and work, “You’ll have to tell me in detail later just how things are run for SSU. But anyways, this is the last of what we need so let's go check out.”

Jungkook wheeled the cart to the checkout where you carefully placed things back into the reusable bags which Jungkook complained about but you didn't like using plastic when it wasn’t needed.

For the first time, doing mundane things such as grocery shopping was actually rather fun, Jungkook and you would banter the whole time and he despite complaining was just as curious and involved in getting things for you (and just as what had happened, trying to bring extra things into the cart as well). However he did get his own snack as well. You just weren’t gonna let him go overboard.

Bringing groceries in was also easy as Jungkook had made it a competition he easily won by bringing them in bulk, proudly showing off the muscle he had despite it being hidden beneath the bagging clothes he often wore.

Unfortunately Jungkook looked like a lost puppy, unable to help as you began to unload them into the fridge, debating on where to put everything as he sat back at the chair at the table with a fat pout on his face making you giggle, “You can join in the say so if you want, I don’t mind! It is your fridge. Have you ever even gotten a full grocery shop before?”

“No.” Jungkook sulked as he crossed his arms, making a flutter of laughter escape you, “I don’t know shit about where to put what in the fridge!”

You waved him over as you shook your head, and reluctantly Jungkook got up and peered over your shoulder, “Everyone does it different, but this is how I do it. All the big stuff like milk and dairy go on the main shelving,” You patted the first level where you had placed your oat milk, the sour cream and cheese at, “These little shelves are for smaller stuff like butter! And the drawers on the bottom hold produce like the bokchoy we have.”

Jungkook wrapped his arms around you loosely as he set his chin on your shoulder, listening intently to you ramble and explain how you placed things into the fridge before muttering to him about how to arrange things which Jungkook would offer suggestions on, some you’d agree excitedly with and others you snort and dismiss.

You enjoyed doing domestic things with him. It didn’t take long for all the groceries to be put away and you were admittedly excited to start turning Jungkook’s apartment into something more...bright...You didn’t want to say Jungkook’s apartment was ugly. It just felt...void of personality and flair that you knew it had the potential for.

And it wasn’t like Jungkook lived in a bad part of Seoul, it was a lovely neighborhood and apartment complex he lived in and because it was so close to Gangnam it was extremely expensive, the only way he could ever afford it was because he was a stripper. He had told you he only started renting here three years ago.

So you knew this apartment probably came like this and only deteriorated over time as Jungkook didn’t live hard in it, but he didn’t maintain more than needed. With a little bit of love you knew this place would be a lot brighter and happier.

“Just hold down the bottom,” Jungkook directed as you steadied the pole, he stood up on a chair as he installed the top of the pole, you both had to rearrange furniture and Jungkook respectively asked for your opinion as this was your domain that you would be styling in the future and you both had agreed that the pole would look back towards the further right corner just a little left of where the TV was, but enough space that there was no chance of hitting the wall or anything else.

You definitely had some work to do with this place but you were already getting ideas that you were excited to try, the rest of your summer, which was coming to a fast end, wouldn’t go to waste.

“I am!” You replied, looking up at him with a pout as you steadied the pole.

“Then why are you wiggling so much?” Jungkook huffed as he gripped the top of the pole making it stiff as he finished tightening the top.

“Don’t be mean! I’m trying my best!” You replied back with a cry making Jungkook snort as he rolled his eyes, finishing up he hopped off the chair, holding out his hands, your eyes narrowing on them as you grabbed them.

“I’m not being mean,” Jungkook tutted as he pulled you up and against him, you tried your best to make an angry face but it failed as he leaned down, bumping your nose against his, “You’re just being a baby.”

Your expression curled a little as he smiled that smile of his as he looked away, “See? Pure baby material.”

You stomped your foot before latching onto him, your arms around his neck as you spoke, “You like it when I’m a baby!” You defended yourself, making him chuckle.

“You’re right, I do.” He relented playfully as he sighed dramatically, “I do. I wouldn’t want it any other way then seeing your sulky, pouty little face every day.” He bumped your nose against his once more as your lips lightened into a bright shy smile as you leaned up, letting your nose brush his in acknowledgement, “Are you ready to go? The others are headed over to your apartment.”

You nodded, “Mhm, I just wanna get it cleaned oh and…” You offered a cheeky smile that you knew he would groan about, “I wanna bring some of my mugs and plates over...it’s really sad you live off styrofoam.”

“Oh my god.” He sighed as he hung his head causing a string of giggles to escape you, god you loved this man.

“Man this place is a mess,” Seokjin wrinkled his nose as he swept up broken glass, “I mean really, it’s seen better da- Ow! Hey you punk!” Seokjin had dropped the broom to rub his bicep at the harsh punch Jungkook landed against his arm, his glare sharp as he briefly looked over at you.

Kneeled down your fingers ran through the soil of the potted hosta you had bought from the supermarket, it had been dying and you were slowly nursing it back to health. Now all its leaves were dried up and crumbled from the days without nutrition or water. Placing the chunks of pottery into the plastic bag you remembered the day you bought that pot too.

It was from the local pottery store and the woman who ran it was so excited that you had gotten it because it had been sitting on the shelf for nearly three months despite having the cutest illustration of a lone weak tree on it.

You remembered thinking it was that most adorable thing on the planet and just knew it’d look good sitting up on that old wooden crate you stood up right as a stand. You hardly even realized tears were trickling down your cheeks as you held up the broken pottery piece that had the small tree on it.

“We’ll get you a new one babygirl.” Jungkook kneeled down beside you with a soft tone as he wrapped an arm around you, your lips immediately quivering as you sniffled harshly, trying not to cry. It was dumb, these were all things, just material items, at least they weren’t you. But in everything you did and bought, you did it was so much passion and utmost love.

“...It was from the pottery store, theren’t aren’t any more like this.” You mumbled with a sniffle as you closed your eyes in defeat, tears trickling down your face as you wiped them. Shaking your head, “This is so stupid to cry about!” You flopped the piece into the bag, feeling frustrated with yourself, you were tired of crying, tired of feeling your heart ache over the tiniest things. It was too exhausting.

“No, no, no it’s not!” Jungkook immediately defended, grabbing the piece from the bag, “These are your things babydoll, and I know how much your space means to you. It’s okay for this to be hard,” He pecked your temple as you closed your eyes again, warm watery tears sliding down your cheeks, “There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that.”

Your hands trembled as you covered your eyes, your shoulders bouncing as you silently kept your tears to yourself, Jungkook’s lips pressing into your hair as his hand soothingly rubbed your arm that was wrapped around you.

After a moment of mourning all of the precious memories you made in this little apartment you called home, you wiped your tears as Jungkook asked if you were okay, nodding you continued to wipe your eyes as he helped you bag up the rest of the broken pot. Tenderly Jungkook took the bag from you as he rubbed your back once before getting up.

Sighing you shook your head, wiping your eyes one last time as you stood up.Stupid...even with Jungkooks vaildation which you knew he was right about, you couldn’t help but berate yourself, it was dumb to cry about things like this when there was better ways you could exert your energy.

Having dried your tears and having a moment to regain your composure you finished up cleaning all the pottery and glass that had been scattered on the floor before walking into the living room your lips curled a little at the confused expression Jimin sported.

He was holding up a cloth, inspecting it closely as if trying to figure out what it was was but obviously finding no success due to the many rips in it, “It’s a tapestry,” Jimin jumped a little as you sat down on the couch beside him, “...Was a tapestry,” You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, “I found it at a flea market when I first came to Seoul, back when me and Seulgi lived together that was our first week on being in our apartment and it was horrible,” You shook your head as your nose wrinkled, grabbing a side of the ripped tapestry in fondness, “I mean there was water stains on the walls, the paint was chipped and looked like it had been due for a new coat for over ten years, the toilets hadn’t been scrubbed and the bathrooms were wrecked. It was horrible.”

Jimin peered at you curiously as you traced the design of a large lotus flower that had been on it, “Seulgi just started crying the moment we walked through the house for the first time because the pictures online made it look a lot better. And of course I thought it was terrible too, but later that week exploring Seoul, I ended up finding an old flea market stall and came across this.”

Your lips curled into a proud smile as you held it up, “And I realized that, just because that’s what our apartment looked like when we first got there, didn’t mean it had to continue looking like that. Seulgi dragged her feet and wouldn’t come with me so I painted all the walls, cleaned up the bathrooms and got new apparel to put in there. It didn’t happen fast.”

You clacked your tongue as you sighed, “We were pretty broke at the time because even with us splitting rent it was still expensive. But slowly and sure, it came together. And we left that apartment better than it ever was. I was proud.”

You looked at Jimin only for him to scoot a little away from you as he joked, “Maybe you should’ve gone into interior decorating instead of dance? Jungkook could really use the help, he has zero sense of taste when it comes to anything besides himself.”

You briefly flickered your gaze to Jungkook who tried to not make himself so obvious that he was keeping an eye on you both, his gaze immediately shooting away from you as you sighed, you knew Jungkook would apologize on his own time but that didn’t mean you still didn’t feel bad, “Jungkook told me…”

You didn’t need to elaborate for Jimin to know exactly what you were talking about, his expression visibly put out as he slumped back against the couch, running his hands through his hair as he groaned, “I mean I’m not surprised, but he could’ve kept it to himself…You know what, maybe you’ll tell me what the fuck is wrong with him?”

Your lips parted a little, somewhat taken aback at just how strong Jimin came off, clearly still sore about yesterday- not that you could blame him, you knew how Jungkook was, but still…you had never seen Jimin in such a...hostile state. And a part of you felt a wave of guilt...had it not been for you...Jungkook wouldn’t be like this…

You had to pause to think about your next words carefully, because you knew if not said the right way, it could be seen as defensive, which wasn’t your intention, “...Well...I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with Jungkook,” You spoke softly, folding your hands into your lap, “He just....” Your eyes fanned around the room realizing Jungkook must’ve gone back to the kitchen, otherwise it was just the two of you, “...Jimin…” You sighed as you lifted one foot onto the couch, wrapping your arms around your leg as you gently laid your head against it, “There’s a lot of stuff going on with him lately. There’s a lot of things that he’s ignored about himself and bottled up, and...it’s all come out recently. A lot of wounds he never even tended to, have been ripped back open for him.”

“I just don’t understand him,” Jimin sighed, lifting up the fabric of the tapestry once more as he shook his head, “I thought I knew him, but I guess I don’t huh.” You frowned a little as you pulled the tapestry from his hands, folding it up as you shook your head.

“It’s not you, he just...I guess he thought he could bury it, or run from it...and he can’t.” You smoothed out the edges, “It’s brought out a lot of deep rooted insecurities from him. And Jungkook knows it’s not like him, but it’s not something he can help. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I made things tense between you both....” You couldn’t look at him anymore, feeling a sense of shame in you as you stared down at your fingers.

“It’s not your fault!” Jimin immediately defended you, which was appreciated but you still felt bad, “You did nothing wrong.”

“I basically gaslit him when he thought I was pregnant with your kid and instead of just staying in, I forced us to go out and not only that but somehow during all of that, I seriously thought blowing you would be a good idea.” Jimin deflated a little at your words as you stared at him in exasperation. You didn’t force Jungkook to go out technically, but you had pushed the whole day.

But only because you knew something was bothering him and he’d never be like that normally, you should’ve respected what he wanted regardless but you just thought….thought what? You felt pathetic trying to defend your motive that day, but it had been truly innocent up until what had happened at the afterparty. You had assumed Jungkook would eventually perk back up and have fun because he loved going out, you wouldn’t have pushed him had you understood what was really going on.

“Well you do sound kinda like a bitch when you put it like that,” Jimin muttered, looking at you as you looked back at him, a smile curling on his lips and one threatening yours as you snorted, “But we both know it probably wasn’t like that. You had his best intentions at heart. And I mean you’re right, blowing me wasn’t a good idea, but I mean…” He shrugged, that dumb smile on his face as he shrugged, “Listen, it is what it is, you and I both assumed he wouldn’t care, clearly. And it was a shit move. The most you can do is just let it go and move on, I’m assuming he told you about what he told me?”

You nodded, setting down the tapestry coffee table as you hummed, “Yeah he told me, and it’s not like I could be mad at him, he’s struggling, with a lot internally and I think once he works through it, things will be okay. But it’s just going to be a work in progress until then.” You could distinctly remember Jungkook’s anger, the way he seemed frustrated with himself.

It was going to be a process, “Besides...It seems like Jungkook isn’t the only one who hasn’t told everyone everything either...and I really hope you both know that it’s okay to have some things stay private.”

Jimin said nothing, only looking down at his hand that he flexed his fingers out from, wiggling them a little and his expression seemed downcast, “...I used to wanna have kids,” You glanced at him in surprise, not at his words, but you didn’t think Jimin would want to talk about it, it was something very personal to him clearly and he owned you nothing, “Me and my girlfriend used to talk about it all the time.”

His lips flickered into a small smile as he looked down at his hand, as if remenscising a memory you’d never know about, “She said she always loved baby smiles and loved little kids sitting down with her, she used to work at a daycare- so I thought, why the hell not?” Jimin’s tiny smile began to melt off her face, “She thought it was her- that was infertile. But I got tested too with her, she just so happened to get her results back faster.”

Jimin’s face became void as he lowered his hand down, “It was late that night and she had offered to stay past her shift because they were low staffed that night but I never got to see her again, a drunk driver clipped the back side of her car and flipped it.”

Your lips quivered a little into a frown as you folded your hands, Jimin’s lips twitched into a bitter smile, “I got my results that morning.” You could see swirls of lingering mourning and rage inside his eyes, it was very similar to not only Jungkook, but Rosé’s as well. They all had things they were struggling with and it made your heart hurt for them, “God is one cruel motherfucker.”

“I’m sorry…” You mumbled softly, your hands folded into your lap, wanting to give him a hug because you knew anybody in Jimin’s position probably needed one, but you also knew, this was a bad time, and that it wouldn’t be appropriate given everything that had happened up until this point, “I know that doesn’t change things for you. But, I do hope you find happiness.” You offered a tiny smile.

Jimin sighed as he stretched out, shrugging loosely, trying to play it off like he didn’t care anymore but he above all else should know it wouldn’t slip past your eyes the way he was still sore about it, and he had every right to be, “It’s been years now,” He deflated, “I spiralled out of control after that, and eventually I stumbled across Cherry Bomb.” Jimin’s lips curved a little at the memory, “I was drunk and I wasn’t sure if I was just hallucinating or if it was Yeji on stage. It wasn’t,” He clarified before snorting, something oddly melancholy in his eyes as he muttered, “It was Rosé,” His lips curled into a semi ironic smile and his brows furrowed as if only slightly amused, “They don’t even look close to alike. And I remember seeing her in class the next day before realizing she was a stripper and she just begged me to not tell anyone.”

Jimin heaved a breath as he stretched out before sitting up, “But I didn’t wanna tell anyone, I wanted to be up on stage. It sounds stupid but, that night I was drunk, I figured who’d care if I just left the world too?” His gaze lowered a little, “But my drunk stupid ass thought it was Yeji on that stage, and I cried at the bar the whole night before Yoongi eventually kicked me out at closing, and even if they looked nothing alike, even if it was just a desperate drunk delusion, when I saw Rose the next day, I saw hope. And so I asked her how I could start dancing because it was obvious I saw her for a reason.”

You sniffled a little, wiping your eyes as Jimin did a double take, “it wasn’t that sad christ…” He looked a little awkward as you giggled, “And…” His gaze became sharp, “Don’t ever tell her any of what I just said. She’s my best friend and I love her but that’s not a conversation I’m ready to have with her- if ever.”

“I’m not Jungkook,” You giggled as you wiped your eyes, “Of course it’ll stay between us- and maybe Jungkook too,” He groaned as you offered a small smile, “It just made me emotional, that’s all. I can’t relate, I don’t know what that feels like. But it makes me happy you and Rosé are so close.”

“I am a lesbian,” You both jumped at Rosé who put her hands on the couch, a bright smile on her face as she answered pointedly, “I mean we already agreed to get married platonically if we’re both single by 30 but I draw the line with dicks. Unless it’s rubber it’s not getting near me.” You snorted as you began howling out laughing, Jimin looked a little flustered, not at her words but at her appearance before relaxing as he rolled his eyes.

“So why all of these affectionate words? Did I do something?” Rosé smiled teasingly as she placed a hand on her chest waiting making you giggle as you shook your head while standing up, shrugging as she pouted, “Hey no fair! You can’t keep secrets from me!”

You offered a small smile as you replied, “Sometimes, the longer a secret is kept, the sweeter it is when they tell you.” Rosé waved her hands walking back to the hallway as you giggled. You were glad, if anything, that you had the chance to talk to Jimin and not only this, but for him to share such a personal thing with you.

“Are you really okay? With everything going on I mean?” Hyerin frowned, she had texted you earlier in the morning asking if you’d be interested in getting drink’s together and of course, leave it to Jungkook and Yugyeom both for that matter to butt in.

They were off in the distance playing pool, Hyerin said she wasn’t a fan of bars but when you offered a lounge she seemed excited as she had never been, it was a nice place, lowkey and quiet but good for a night out or even a place to study during the day.

You both sat at the counter watching Jungkook and Yugyeom play against a few others here at the lounge, “Well, I have to be,” Your hands curled around your drink, not wanting to think about what had happened a few days earlier and it was difficult to keep up with just how many traumatising things had happened within a week, “For Jungkook’s sake...and…” You sighed softly, “It’s not like there’s anything that can be done for me right now. That’s just gonna take time…”

“Awh, I understand. I just wish things hadn’t taken such a sharp turn, do you know when Cherry Bomb will open back up at least?’ Hyerin stirred her drink as she leaned back against the barstool, watching Yugyeom and Jungkook look like little boys triuphanting over their victory together.

“Monday, by the sound of it...But nobody is even sure if we’re gonna have a crowd, even with SSU starting that night. Regardless me and Jungkook are gonna stay busy with choreographing, he’s really excited about it.” Your lips tilted upwards a little bit at the memory of how much enthusiasm he had, you were happy to see him happy. It was just like him to be like that, “How have things been...at the dungeon with...you know...Shownu was it?”

Hyerin snorted, taking a sip of her drink as she rolled her eyes, “Same old, same old, he causes shit, makes dom’s hate him and gets away with it.” She crumpled the paper her straw had been in as she flicked it against the countertop, “Honestly, Yugyeom wants to find a new dungeon, the drama just isn’t worth it. I’m glad you and Jungkook don’t go regularly.”

You tilted your head as Hyerin offered a weak smile, “It’s hard enough keeping Yugyeom from beating the shit out of Shownu and getting us kicked out. Jungkook and Yugyeom together?” You let out a weak laughing, beginning to understand what she meant, “I mean they’d probably send him to the hospital…”

“They would send him to the hospital,” You offered a weak smile, even without Yugyeom’s help Jungkook totally would, let alone with it? Hyerin was right, that was a bad mix even together, you hadn’t had the chance to talk to Yugyeom fully but you had the feeling, that despite being more relaxed then Jungkook was, he could get just as defensive as him, easily. Maybe even more so, “What is the reason Shownu is still allowed around anyways?”

You both didn’t have the time to visit the dungeon much but you got the impression that if you did, you’d probably be a lot more involved in the drama given Jungkook’s inclination to always step in, “Ah…” Hyerin relented as she rubbed her neck, “Shownu is just good friends with a lot of the dungeon owners, and if you’re on good terms with them? You’re pretty much untouchable. I don’t know all the ends and outs but…” Hyerin frowned as she looked at her cup, “Word is that some of the girls have been disappearing at the dungeon and...Some of the dungeon owners might be involved...I don’t know. We haven’t been for the past week ever since we found out. Yugyeom wants things to clear up before we go back.”

You shuddered at the idea, being a little to familiar with the feeling, you could understand Yugyeom’s concern, for anyone’s concern really, Jungkook would be, and is the same way, “Seems like trouble in paradise everywhere these days,” You sighed wistfully, even in the areas of your life you weren’t so involved it, were having trouble now.

You just wanted things to become normal again, when they weren’t so tense and your only stresses were exams and being naked on stage. It seemed so...insignificant in comparison now. Things were the way they were, so you wouldn’t complain about them, and at the very least, you and Jungkook had each other and you’d make it through this.

But still, it was hard to not wish for things to be easier again. When your life wasn’t put on the line as well as Jungkooks, which he hadn’t exactly clarified but...You couldn’t ignore your gut instinct that was telling you he was in just as dangerous of a position.

“Tell me about it,” Hyerin sighed before suddenly perking up with a thought, “Oh…! You know what,” She turned you, her smile a little shy now as she asked, “What if you came over and we hung out one night? I have tons of coloring sheets at my apartment and snacks too! Yugyeom is pretty strict about snacks but he’d totally be willing to let us have some if it was a get together!”

Was she talking about- Oh...your face felt hot at the mention, feeling a little shy but you did like the idea, sounded like...a nice break from the harsh world you were constantly having to endure day in and day out, “Sure…! We could do it tomorrow night if you wanted? If you’re free of course!”

Hyerin bounced in her seat in excitement, “That’s perfect! And bring as many stuffies as you want, I have a whole collection I want you to meet.” You both began giggling and Hyerin needed to shut up before she slipped and you could tell her excitement was getting the better of her.

“Oh I know that look,” Yugyeom called out, him and Jungkook both finished with their game of pool, his smile soft at the sight of her excited bounce and wigglyness, “What are you two conspiring?”

“Well!” Hyerin crossed her arms, looking away with a little bit of sass as she spoke proudly, “Me and Y/n are having a playdate tomorrow night and you both aren’t invited.” Your eyebrows lifted and your gaze darted away from Jungkook’s who looked both thoroughly amused and yet daring you to try and piggy back off Hyerin.

“Oh?” Yugyeom raised his brows, somewhat amused, somewhat challenging, “And where am I supposed to stay? Our bedroom?” Hyerin’s lips parted a little before she hmphed, crossing her arms, “As long as you aren’t mean to her I don’t care.”

“I won’t! Y/n is my friend!” Hyerin pouted a little, grabbing your arm defensively as you smiled shyly, your hands folded as Jungkook sat down next to you, pressing a kiss on your head.

“As fun as it’s been these two need to be separated, look at them,” Jungkook snorted in amusement, his eyes dancing with affection as he tenderly stroked a hand through your hair as you curled up against his touch, “They’re gonna send each other small in excitement,” Jungkook, knowing you contained the urge to coo at you as he spoke, “What about me though? Hm? Am I excluded too?”

Your lips quivered into a pout as Jungkook smiled fondly, his hands squeezing your cheeks, “No…” You mumbled, your bottom lip jutting like a fish as his fingers pressed into your cheeks once more, the puppy expression on your face just too cute for Jungkook to resist tapping your nose, “You can be there.”

“Oh thank you so much baby,” Jungkook whispered, unable to stop the soft coo that escaped him, your arms immediately latching around him in a hug, as you looked up at him with a bright shy smile, “You’re always so thoughtful of others huh?” He leaned down and pecked your forehead.

“Okay yeah, I gotta take someone home,” Yugyeom sighed but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face at Hyerin now attached to him, he brushed his hand through his hair before snorting, “Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow huh, no courtesy of you.” He pinched Hyerin’s side making her whine, “Come on sweetheart, let’s go.” Hyerin bounced a little as she hugged unto Yugyeom who only smiled.

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Jungkook waved them off before tutting, “You were gonna make plans and leave me out baby.” He said exasperatedly, a playful tone in his voice but you still shook your head.

“No! That was Hyerin...I…!” You crossed your arms, a sulky glare on your face as Jungkook chuckled, “That wasn’t me!” You whined, leaning against Jungkook as he wrapped an arm around you, “She just thought it would be fun to get together and- and I just thought!”

“Thought what?” Jungkook smiled boyishly as he raised his brows in amusement, “Thought what baby? Don’t leave me hanging.”

“Thought it’d be nice to just not have to deal with everything for the night,” You mumbled, feeling a bit shy to admit it. You had felt self conscious when it came to anything about age regression, things had gotten a little better since you had talked to Jungkook about it but you were still a bit shy and admittedly...being with someone like Hyerin, who did the same thing, it made you feel, not so self conscious.

“Well you’re more than welcome to at any time now that we’re gonna be together all the time baby,” Jungkook clacked his tongue, a playful smile on his face as he pressed a kiss to your head once more, “Buy hey, it’ll be a good way to relax tomorrow because we’re working the rest of today and all of tomorrow on your dances since we go back Monday. We’re gonna be cramming baby.”

You whined at his arm squeezing you making a flutter of giggles escape you, pressing your head against him as he affectionately pressed a kiss on top of your head once more, “Are you ready to go then baby? We got lots to do at the apartment.” You supposed, Jungkook was right, and admittedly, you were looking forward to working with him on it.

“No….No...Baby come on, I know you can do better than this.”

You stomped your foot as you turned to Jungkook who was laid out on the couch, though obviously not impressed with your choreography was clearly enjoying the show regardless, a boyish smile crossed his lips at the sight of your annoyed expression.

“Instead of sitting there just staring at my ass why don’t you help if you don’t like it!?” You crossed your arms, a sulky pout on your face as he chuckled, sitting up before walking over to you, his arms on your shoulder as he pushed you back to the pole.

“I am helping,” He whispered playfully in your ear as you felt your face go red, shoving him a little as he laughed, “I’m being the audience, and I can tell you the audience won’t care for it.”

You groaned as you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms once more in frustration, “Then help me! What would look better oh sex dance master.”

“I am the sex dance master,” Jungkook retorted with a chuckle, that stupid smile on his face as you puffed a childish breath, “And instead of starting out leaning on the pole like every other basic bitch, you should start laying down, and kick your feet up onto the pole.”

“Did you just call me basic!?” You cried out, Jungkook only looked down at you, a smile still on his face as you groaned, grabbing your head as you looked up at him in disbelief.

“Why don’t you lay down baby,” Jungkook redirected only more amused at your cry of frustration before complying, laying down on your back you set your feet up against the pole. Jungkook kneeled down as he nodded, “Mhm, and just…” He grabbed your wrists delicately, crossing them before he pulled them up over your head.

Standing up he backed away a little, “Arch your back a little,”

“I’m laying down.” You complained as you twisted your head to look up at him.

“Arch your back.” Jungkook repeated more firmly, making you heave a sigh, uncomfortably curving your spine as best you could, “Now lift your chin a little,” You frowned before doing so, “Okay, okay, and...close your eyes and act sexy.” Your lips threatened to curve into a smile as you snorted, doing so, “That’s not sexy.”

“I’m trying my best,” You opened your eyes, lips jutting a little as you glared up at him, “And this is my best.” Jungkook rolled his eyes, a smile tugging on his lips as he sat back down, “I’ve seen your best sweetheart, that’s not it. Now start the routine from there, do a few kicks or whatever you want from here before getting up.”

Closing your eyes you sighed, trying to come up with something and the only thing you could think of however was letting one leg slide down the pole before slowly extending it back up, extending your other leg off the pole before walking them a little. Letting your feet lean to the left a little you lowered them to the floor before lifting your upper body up, looking at Jungkook who shrugged, tipping his soda can at you making you whine, “Bad?”

His face scrunched a little and he hesitated for a second, “It’s not terrible...but you could do better. First move was nice, second was a little lacking and you know they think it’s cooler when you’re actually on the pole.”

Laying back down you set your legs back on the pole, “So leg down is fine,” You lowered your leg to your chest once more, “extension is fine?”

“That’s a good part,” Jungkook nodded, “Now do walk, walk,” You mirrored his words with your each little step, “Just two, then take your feet to the left and lift up. Don’t prolong it. Now lift your arms up and grab on with reverse.”

You could strip yes, but...pole dancing….? It came with the trade but you still weren’t what one would consider your strong suit. Carefully you placed your hands in reverse grip, “Now pull yourself up.” This was easy! You pulled yourself, feeling triumphant, taking a few steps before adjusting your grip and doing a fan kick to the front.

“There you go baby,” Jungkook nodded approvingly, his lips curled in that proud smile of his as he leaned back in his seat, “ You couldn’t help but feel shy at his words but continued with one more step before letting go of the pole, pressing your back against it as you slowly slid down to a pole sit, “My thighs are burning,” You whined, “You think I should do a button up for this?” You fiddled with pretend buttons before pushing yourself up.

“I think,” Jungkook stood up, walking over before squeezing your chin, “You should do what you think is best, baby. I’m here to help not coach.” He whispered as you tried to push him away with a giggle as he pulled you back closer, “For what it’s worth I think you look pretty sexy no matter what.”

“Stop! You whispered back feeling flustered and giggly pulling away from him as a closed mouth smile tugged on his lips, sitting back down on the couch his eyes were only slightly lidded but you could see what that meant from a mile away.

“You know what baby? I think we might need to brush up on your lap dancing again,” Jungkook opened his arms, his thighs parting comfortably as he gestured you to his lap, your body immediately warmed as you whined a little, unable to deny him as you shuffled to stand in front of him, attempting to sit on his lap but his hand latched onto your hips stopping you, “Ah...what are you supposed to do before a lap dance baby?”

You whined again as you shuffled in spot, Jungkook clicked his tongue, his hands tugging down your sweatpants to reveal your panties, you had anticipated getting laid today leaving you in a plain cotton underwear making you semi shy, Jungkook wasn’t having it though as he tugged you onto his lap, “Stop whining,” he whispered in your ear, his hands gripping your thighs before making their way to your ass, “And start making me feel good baby, show me how you do it.”

You couldn’t resist pressing your face into his neck as your hips began circling against him, you could feel his cock beginning to stir as he let out a soft moan.

His grip softening on your ass and his hands guided them ever so slightly, your clit beginning to rub just the right way on his jeans making you whine, “Mmph…! Jungkook!” Your hips becoming more desperate as you began grinding on him harder as your clit throbbed pathetically. His hands patiently guided your hips as he suckled tenderly on your neck.

“That’s it baby, get those panties nice and messy for me.” He moaned softly, his hands squishing the cheeks of your ass in appreciation as you continued to grind against the the growing bulge in his pants, burying your face further into his shoulder as you whined.

“You’re not supposed to touch me during a lap dance…!” This wasn’t fair! Jungkook only squeezed your ass even harder making you jump a little as you were suddenly jostled onto the couch.

“You call that a lap dance baby? I’ve seen you do better.” Jungkook clicked his tongue as confusion washed over you as to what he was doing before you squeaked at one leg being straddled over him, your hands grabbing his stomach for some sort of support but that clearly wasn’t what Jungkook was aiming for, he carelessly pushed your back making you collapse down grabbing his thighs.

Your face like it was burning at the realization of what position you were in, “...Jungkook!” You whined trying to pathetically crawl away from how close his face was to your throbbing cunt. It was expected for him to forcibly pull you back, a hand slamming against your ass making you squirm with a whimper, “Don’t wanna hear one word about it sweet heart, you know what I want you to do?” Jungkook’s voice dripped patronizingly, “I want you to suck that cock and if you do a good job maybe I’ll give this little cunt a good reward.”

His hands left no room for debate as you whimpered at the feeling of your panties sticking to your cunt, your hands fumbled with the hem of his sweats before pushing them down along the Calvin Klein’s he was sporting today. His cock bounced in search of you as your lips quivered a little, sure you had slept together too many times to count now but...it didn’t ever make it less intimidating to blow him, especially in a compromising position such as this.

Sucking it up though you positioned yourself onto your forearms before giving a small lick to his irritated tip that was already beginning to dribble with precum, “Don’t you fuckin’ tease baby. That’s not what I asked.” Jungkook growled, his hips lifting a little in chase of your tongue and you couldn’t stop the little giggle that escaped you as you gave another kitten lick to his tip once more.

Jungkook’s teeth gritted before you squeaked at the feeling of your panties being ripped off at the sides, “Jungkook…! Those were expensive!” Sure they were loungewear but that didn’t make them any cheater! Jungkook ignored your whine though as you whimpered at his tongue suddenly pressing onto your sensitive little bud, a gasp escaping you as you lowered gaze despite not even being able to look at him, “Mmph…! Jungkook…” you mumbled, your cheeks burning and your hips unable to resist rocking against his tongue as your eyes squeezed shut.

A hand harshly striked the cheek of your ass making you jump as you whimpered, Jungkook’s tongue immediately being removed from your clit, “Suck, suck it you little cockslut, make that mouth useful baby.” Not wanting to prolong any sort of punishment you did as told, positioning yourself as best you could before taking his tip inside your mouth, suckling along his head tender before slowly bobbing your head to take him further.

Jungkook’s hands softened against your hips and you heard a low moan from him before his tongue rewardingly met your clit again, the notion had your thighs squeezing against his head and another whine vibrating against his cock as your head began to bob faster around his cock before you pulled off him to take a deep shaky breath at his persistence in suckling your clit.

Jungkook’s hands guiding your ass to ride against his tongue as your eyes squeezed shut tightly, “Mm! Jungkook…!” It was hard to focus on any sort of task when he was putting you through this, his hands squeezed warningly immediately putting you back to work.

Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock before lightly tugging it, your tongue dragging on the sensitive underside of his shaft.

A hiss escaped Jungkook’s and his impatience attempting to get the better of him as his hands squeezed your ass before his mouth attached back to your clit, suckling and pressing his tongue down against it, flicking it rapidly making it difficult for you to do anything escape whimper against his cock as you attempted to keep the same energy for him.

Squeezing a little on his base you took his tip back inside your mouth before bobbing your head as your legs trembled from the force of his tongue roughly playing with your clit, a hand smacking your ass making you jump but your hips were forced to stay in place with no choice but to take it as your eyes began to water.

Taking his cock further into your mouth intending to go all the way until it hit the back of your throat, you could feel the pleased expression from Jungkook due to his moans of contentment on your cunt, his hands soothingly rubbing your thighs in coax to keep going for him. Wanting to please you hurriedly took a deep breath before slowly sinking further down his cock, your throat immediately stinging unpleasantly and your eyes watering as you heard low moans and long sigh of contentment from Jungkook, “Mmm, what a good girl, so good baby, keep going, keep sucking that cock.” His lips parted, dragging his tongue back to your clit making you gag on his cock as you whined, backing your hips further against his face in desperation.

You bobbed your head sloppier at the feeling of his tongue delicately flicking your clit before he wrapped his lips around the tiny bud, something about the sensation sending you feral as the orgasm suddenly lit through your veins making you gag and whimper as your body squirmed against him.

Jungkook’s hips lifted a little at the feeling of your mouth wrapped so tight around him, “Ah fuck! Such a good little slut for me baby, fuuck.” Jungkook let his head rest back on the couch as he sighed contently, his hands soothingly squeezing your ass cheeks as his lips parted a little, “Shit, shit baby! Mmm.” Your throat was painfully stinging and salvia was pooling down your chin before you pulled off him briefly to take a deep breath, “Such a good girl baby,” Jungkook cooed coaxingly, “C’mon baby, ride that cock for me, wanna watch you go dumb on my dick.”

You whined a little, wiping your face with your arm before you carefully further down the couch, Jungkook’s hands guiding your hips to stop just at his cock which was bobbing in seek of friction. Your walls felt empty clenching around nothing and you wasted no time changing that.

Sinking down on his tip you closed your eyes as a shallow moan escaped you, the feeling of his thick shaft splitting you open as you began bouncing on top of him.

“Fuck baby, what a nice little wet cunt, keep going sweetheart, keep fucking going.” Jungkook inhaled through his teeth, trying to compose himself from wildly slamming himself into you like he wanted too, “Faster baby, I know you can take it.” You whine, lowering onto your forearms for more leverage as your hips started bouncing faster, your walls clenching around him harshly and his tip hitting all the right spots inside you as you whined with a shaky breath, sinking all the way down on him slowly before wiggling your hips.

This notion made something inside Jungkook twitch before he growled impatiently, his tip nearing an angry bright red as he pulled out of you making you jolt a little as you shifted, being broken out of trance as you whined, “Jungkook…!” He wasn’t having any of it though, sitting up he shoved you further down onto the couch making you whimper as he yanked your hips up.

“I know my little baby was having her fun but do you feel this?” Jungkook situated himself on his knee’s, your cunt presented to him as he slapped his cock against it as your lips quivered, “That’s your fault babydoll.” You didn’t even have a chance to defend yourself before the head of his cock pushed inside you once more only this time being at his complete mercy before Jungkook took liberty and slammed into you.

Your body was being jolted and your hands were hanging onto the couch arm for dear life as you cried out, “Ah! Fuck, fuck, Jungkook…!” You whined at the force his hips were slamming into you at, Jungkook was having none of it though, reaching out as he grabbed a fist full on your hair yanking it as his balls slapped against your skin hard enough to make you weak in the legs.

“Don’t wanna hear a single word from you baby, you’re gonna be my little fucking cum dump yeah?” Jungkook’s breath was hot against your neck as his cock pushed before inside you, staying nice and snug in your cunt as he roughly thrusted harder into you making your body jostle with every motion.

Just the thought had your walls squeezing around him as he moaned, “That’s right baby, you want this tiny cunt to be used to take all my cum? My little cumslut.” Jungkook’s jaw clenched at how loud you were beginning to moan, your body withering and shaking which was only giving him more motivation to keep going, his hips slamming harder and harder as your thighs trembled and had a harder time staying up.

“Go on baby, cum all of this cock, I can feel this little cunt wanting it, cum.” Jungkook nearly barked out with a growl, his cheating pressing against your back now, letting go of your hair in trade of your throat as he squeezed it tight making a breathy moan escape you, your vision nearly blacking out at how hard you abruptly came again, not even registering how loud you were moaning and whining beneath him.

Jungkook pressed his forehead against your shoulder blades as he swore with gritted teeth, his hips burying inside you as he let himself go, hot substance shooting up inside you as he moaned softly, swiveling his hips a little to ride out his orgasm as he buried his face into your neck, “Fuck baby, feels so good.” He mumbled with a rasp as he pecked a kiss on your neck.

Your body was rapidly trembling and you could hardly even speak as you melted into the couch trying to wrap your brain around how hard you just got railed.

Jungkook happily nuzzled into your neck, a small smile on his face as he began pressing kisses into your neck, “Love my baby so much, you did such a good job.” His hands rubbed against your waist approvingly making you wiggle a little, a tiny smile on your lips as you mumbled, “Were you mad at me…?”

Jungkook’s nose nudged the crook of your neck against as he shifted a little to lay on top of you, his cock slipping from you making your legs twitch a little as he pressed another kiss on the back of your neck this time, “No? Jus’ wanted to fuck you senseless,” You huffed as he chuckled a little, “You weren’t complaining baby, say it back.” He poked your side as you wiggled a little, “C’mon say it, I wanna hear you say it baby.”

You whined a little before wiggling, managing to turn yourself over to lay on your back, “Love you too Koo.” Jungkook practically looked like he was glowing as he collapsed against your chest, tiny kisses being placed on your collar bones as you cocooned yourself against him, happily soaking in all of the attention.

Note: It’s been such a cute little break in the story guys!!! I hope you’re prepared for the final four chapters coming up soon because !!! things get a little intense!!

(Taglist CLOSED)

Taglist: @rkivemagic @megladon1616 @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @epiphany-playwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13@134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness @hanhannguyen98 @lurkerarmy @lovelyjkook @serendipity-secrets @kimvantaee @timestandstillalittle @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl @blxckeffect @kimcheeeeeeeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay @taeass @caitlinmarieeblossom @jishookedout134 @rjsmochii @lovethatforme97 @kthstrawberryshortcake @anonymous2505 @rainbow-zebra-unicorns @namjoonies-dimple @keyaqua123 @kai1697jeon @mochibabycakes @min-chimchim03 @rosewxterbts @zazaluvbts @thekookiecorner @copa-c-havana @rapperkookz @xhg-btsx @intrepide11 @bts-army46 @jimintaendem @sleepyje0n @vidaficrecs @purplelady85 @jeonsbbgirl @loveyourselfbangtans @ausjeons @hajimaoppaa @l4life

#bts #jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook smut #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #bts x reader #bts imagine #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x y/n smut #bts au

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eureka-its-zico · 4 years ago

Text

Irrevocably Yours

Request: hey! can i request a scenario of jungkook being a rich kid who has ome of his legs is leg failure , basically can't walk without a cane , And he falls in love with a normal girl , and they end up running away , happy ending plz , also if u can , LIT IT Up with smut ' thank u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A/N: So. This request was sent to me a long ass time ago. I mean a LONG time ago, and I spent so much time working on it...it became too long. So I broke it up in half. Just to see if anyone actually becomes interested in how this ends. Just to see if anyone still reads anything I write. So if you end up enjoying this, please let me know and I’ll post the last of this. I have so many things buried inside my google docs that need to be set free from hibernation.

Also, I’m sorry if this isn’t any good. I’ve rewritten this a thousand times trying to fix it, and I’ve done all I can for now. I hope someone out there enjoyed this craziness. And to the original person who asked for this, if you ever see this, I’m sorry it took so long. P.s. I also took creative liberties and changed it up a little. Much love, Jenn

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 13,756 (yeah I know, it was longer before I halved it. Sorry!)

Genre: fluffy/Smutty(later)/First Love drama sorts mess

A part of you would always remember the first day you’d met Jeon Jungkook. His presence standing in the doorway to the classroom held every single one of your classmate's attention along with yours. Jungkook silently demanded to be noticed, even though in a way he wanted no one to notice him at all. The classroom felt louder than usual, or maybe that was just how you recalled it. Maybe it's what caused the ringing in your ears when the room was swallowed up in silence. The sound of his cane hitting the stained linoleum; ticking like a time bomb with every step.

At first you couldn't see why he necessarily needed it. Jungkook was a master of hiding things. Even pain. It wasn’t until he’d reached the teachers desk, his hip moving to rest against it to ease the extra strain off his good leg, that the stories of his accident became true. Not one of you were willing to look too long at the challenge in his face. Defiance turning his soft features bitter as he glanced out across the room. Jungkook wanted to appear strong; to dare anyone to mutter even a word that he wasn’t. That he wasn’t the same person he was before the accident.

He must have been able to fool your home room teacher into forgetting. His eagerness to introduce Jungkook only caused him to accidentally come too close to his legs in passing. The teachers’ waist moved and harmlessly bump against Jungkook’s bad leg. A small movement that was enough to change Jungkook’s entire demeanor for just a second.

The whole room collectively took a breath; waiting for him to scream out in pain. To turn savage and yell or curse at the stupidity of the teacher. Jungkook did none of it. He continued to look out into the room with his chin held high.

You could see, however, through the crinkle by his eyes and how heavily he now leaned on his cane that it’s caused him a great deal of pain. A brief moment in showing what he tried to hide and if you weren’t staring so hard at him, you were sure you would’ve missed it.

An infamous legend among other schools as his face showed up on Sports articles that featured proud features of parents beaming excitedly at cameras. Taekwondo and track metal’s around his neck by the dozens. Grades to match the intensity of his athletic drive with a rumor that if he tried something for the first time, Jungkook would still be phenomenal at whatever it was.

Even without ever actually meeting him - everyone in that classroom knew who he was. Jeon Jungkook was a hard man not to hear about.

In the beginning of the year there’d been a different headline for him, however. He’d been the passenger in a friend's car that was struck by a drunk driver. The ferocity of the impact leaving the car looking like a bow. Jungkook lost a friend that night, and part of the mobility in his left leg. The driver himself died instantly and you weren't sure if that was justice enough for the two boys who’d lost so much in a matter of three seconds.

And with so much, yet so little known about him you found yourself unable to join the others in measuring up the boy in front of you.

Jungkook was taller than you thought he would be, or maybe you’d silently been hoping the universe wouldn’t be so cruel to give someone talent and every single attractive feature known to man. He’d been played up like he was a god among the rest of you feeble mortals. You figure’d girls were overacting, I mean it happens. Imagining after listening to all their swooning, you’d somehow shockingly find out he was nothing more than your average - ordinary - boy.

Jungkook was anything but ordinary.

His lean frame still retained years of training that wasn't so easily hidden, even under the layers of the school uniform. You could see the care he still placed on his outward appearance. The rising star who was still handsome, even underneath all his brooding. His school uniform strained against tight muscles in his arms and, worse, was his legs. Your cheeks heating into an embarrassed blush as his eyes landed on what seemed like your desk. It was silly to think he’d caught you gawking. Everyone was gawking at him, but even a millisecond of his gaze made your cheeks light up with embarrassment at the idea of being caught.

There was gossip of him not wanting to go back to his old school; his old life. You didn't really blame him. Why be stuck in a place where there were millions of memories of a time you had with a close friend? Of having the ability to walk down the halls without everyone looking at you like you were damaged goods.

“Everyone pay attention!” Mr. Choi shouted.

It all seemed unnecessary. Your attention was already on him whether he wanted it or not.

“I’d like to welcome our transfer student, Jeon Jungkook. I expect you all to be on your best behavior.”

“I don't need you to defend me,” he snapped.

He started moving his way down the aisle towards the only empty seat in the room: the one next to you.

You quickly turned away from him and started cleaning up your space. Jungkook got to the desk faster than you thought and dropped his backpack down on top of the desk. His long body slumped down into the seat, placing his cane next to the window seal.

“We’re going to continue with our previous lecture from yesterday. You can share with Y/N until you get your own books.”

You flipped to chapter eighteen with your many notes scattered inside. Your eyes giving him a sidelong glance before sliding the book neatly between the desks. Jungkook didn't bother to look at the pages: his gaze was locked elsewhere. Somewhere outside the window with the freedom far beyond the gates of the school.

The enter class you’d spun a hundred different sentences in your mind. Each one playing out in your head as pure idiotic or unnecessary. You just couldn’t shake the feeling that it felt wrong letting him sit there like no one cares. To be a part of the prying gazes of the class; to know his name and him not knowing yours in return. You weren't sure why you gave a shit so much, anyways, but you did.

At the sound of the bell he was the first one to hop back onto his feet. His hand instinctively taking hold of the cane to keep him propped up as he moved to situate his backpack over his shoulders. You’d followed close behind him and gathered up your things.

You didn't see him again until fifth period. His brooding presence in the back of the class hung like a dark cloud you couldn't shake. You knew you weren't necessarily the most cheerful person in the room, but even Jungkook’s sour puss attitude was making you want to throw glitter at him.

He didn't acknowledge you when you came to your usual seat at the window, and it didn't bother you. No one usually acknowledged you anyways. What did bother you was that he was sitting in your window seat. Statistics was by far your least favorite subject this year, and the one thing that kept you sane was that window seat.

“That's my spot.”

Your voice didn't hold any hint of malice. It was just definitive: you wanted your seat. Jungkook didn't look at you straight away. His eyes still daydreaming through the window and the world beyond. When he did finally look at you, you were sure the annoyance in his face was meant to send you packing. Too bad for him you’d seen worse.

“Is that look supposed to scare me? It doesn't change the fact you're in my spot.”

“I don't see your name on it.”

Your laughter turned to a scoff; cut short by your disbelief.

“What are we in middle school? If you want to get technical, it was assigned by the teacher aka my name is theoretically on that seat. So -”

You acted like he was a pet you could shoo off your bed. The hand motion earning you his brow to raise in return.

“You’d really make a cripple get up?”

“Is that what we’re calling you? A cripple? Because it looks to me like you’re still capable of doing things, oh say, a paraplegic can't.”

The anger rolled through him suddenly like storm clouds. All the possibilities of playful mischief disappeared as he regarded you with so much hate, it was as if he’d struck you.

“Oh, really? I didn't realize that they were giving away M.D titles in high schools now.”

Your mouth opened to - to what? Apologize? The sensitive part of you told you that you should. His accident hadn't been a full year yet, and here you were badgering him. Yet, you knew if you continuously babied him like everyone else it was only going to do more harm than good. Your next choice of words were cut short when your teacher walked in and asked why you were still standing.

“He’s in my spot.”

God, now who sounded like they were in middle school? Your teacher seemed to draw a blank. His gaze moving from you to Jungkook then back to you.

“Just sit down, Y/N.”

You did so with a huff. Your arms pulling your backpack you’d sat down on the desk closer to you like a pillow. Just so you could rest your chin on top of it and tried to ignore the smirk that was now on Jungkook’s face.

After you’d gone to your next class you couldn't stop thinking about your exchange. It turned your mood sour the rest of the day, and you couldn't understand why. A part of you wondering if it was because of your choice of words or the defeat that shown all too bright in his doe eyes.

The end of the day couldn't have come fast enough. You just wanted to get home and out of your uniform and maybe get a chance to go take some photos before your parents got home. You were too preoccupied with thoughts of where you wanted to go, and what coffee shop you wanted to stop at, when you collided into the back of someone else. A loud curse followed suit of the sound of a cane dropping on pavement making your eyes shut tight and your throat constrict around a groan.

“Jesus, can't you watch where you’re goi- oh, it's you. Enjoy attacking cripples, do we?”

You opened your eyes to see a less than amused smile on his face. He acted more like a judge at your hearing and whatever sentencing he was giving out, it wasn’t in your favor.

“I’m sorry I wasn't paying attention.”

You moved to pick up his cane for him when his hand angrily swatted yours away making you jump back a step.

“I don't need your charity. I can do it myself!”

“No one said you couldn’t! I was only trying to be nice.”

“Yeah, well, go and be nice somewhere else.”

He situated his weight on his good leg and bent at the knee low enough for his hand to reach out and grab his second form of support. The movement so graceful that it left you stunned, but not as much as his words did.

“You know, just because something bad happened to you, it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole. You aren't the only person to lose someone or something important. Get over yourself.”

With your hands latched underneath the straps of your backpack you stomped around him. Not caring that you left him standing stone still. His mouth slightly agape as he watched you take your exit.

During your walk home, somehow, Jungkook plagued your thoughts. Your mind unable to comprehend why you were still thinking about him. It was the first time you’d met, and yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. If you were being honest with yourself you knew from replaying the last thing you said to him.The look on his face saying plainly that you were an asshole.

Everyone’s pain mattered. Grief and loss wasn’t measured by anyone else’s pain but the person who experienced it, and to diminish it in any way was unfair. Regret was building inside your chest and it was all you could do to keep your feet from sprinting back in his direction.

When you got home you went directly to your room, throwing your bag on the bed, and sulked to your desk. You had more pressing matters to attend to than a boys’ possible hurt feelings. No matter how many times you tried, however, you weren’t able to write out theories on government history or explain anatomical questions.

The only thing your brain appeared to focus on was how to apologize.

You thought about Jungkook while you showered and brushed your teeth. You thought of him when you laid in bed and struggled to find a way to sleep. Your mind playing out the million different possibilities of how your apology would be taken from him. You didn't necessarily understand what it felt like to have your dreams stolen from you. To be forced to cope with a new life you hadn’t asked for and the emptiness of losing someone you loved all in one go.

If the tables were turned and it was you, wouldn’t you feel equally as bitter?

The following morning in between toaster cooked waffles and fixing your uniform in the mirror, you’d resigned to apologizing to him. No matter how much thinking of it made your teeth grind and a growl rise in your chest at the thought. You imagined him sneering and replying with smart remarks and it caused your mind to waver, but you were better than the pettiness swelling in your chest. You were okay with knowing his prickled exterior came from something you couldn't ever understand.

You made sure all the time you had while you walked to school was used up by mumbling the speech you’d made up the night before. At crosswalks practicing the best stance that didn't appear threatening, was friendly, but wouldn't be misconstrued as flirting.

That was by far the last thing you wanted to happen in his eyes. Sure, Jungkook was undeniably attractive...as much as you would've loved to laugh sarcastically in his perfectly sculpted face that his obviously very masculine features did nothing to make you weak in the knees. That you hadn’t noticed when his elbows, still clad in his jacket, moved to rest on the desk it’d caused his biceps and shoulders to equally fight for whatever was left of the fabric. Or that small scar on his cheek caught your attention when he became annoyed; his tongue poking out at the side of his jaw.

No, you hadn't been paying an embarrassing amount of attention to him at all (or at the ridiculous outline of his thigh muscles in his school uniform) with every step he took.

So, since you hadn't personally taken notice of any of physically appealing traits, why would you flirt? You were well aware of the vast difference of not only your social scale, but also of your class ranking, and looks overall. You were lightyears away from ever being able to consider being more than a female acquaintance he happened to get stuck next to at school. He wasn't the first boy who was out of your league, and Jungkook wouldn't be the last. Why it bothered you so much was a child's thought you refused to entertain.

When you finally got to school you hurried up the steps and briskly made your way down the hall. Not stopping even after Jenny cursed after you for nudging her as you went by. As soon as you swung open the door for homeroom, your eyes landed on Jungkook’s position. His cane leaning against the desk, hands tucked inside the pockets of his uniform slacks as he leaned back against the chair.

His gaze was focused somewhere outside the window, completely blank and motionless, and you wondered if he could've been having a thought at all. He was close to being marked as unreal in your book when he blinked and turned his gaze towards you.

You hadn't realized you’d been staring until that moment. Your gaze dropping to the worn linoleum as you briskly made your way down to your desk. A mumbled, “Good morning,” falling like a bad habit from your lips while you came around the side to slid into the desk chair. Nervous hands clutching tightly to your bag as you stared straight ahead, unwilling to glance in his direction.

Somewhere between cursing your awkwardness and staring out the window like an escape hatch your teacher started the lecture. None of it to which you were paying attention too, which was probably why you heard him call your name. You jerked in your seat as he yelled it a second time. Your eyes no doubt wide from giggles that sounded around the room.

“Y/N, since you're listening, you can go ahead and answer number forty-seven in the workbook.”

Panic sent your eyes wide as you stared back at his expectant face: waiting for you to fail. You hadn't even taken your book out since you’d sat down, finally moving to do so, when you felt a light tap against your bag. It was enough to jerk your gaze away from the teacher and down to a completed book of all the problems done by Jungkook.

He cleared his throat and tucked his hands back inside the pockets of his trousers easily not understanding the severity of how his actions had left you wide-eyed in surprise. You were still taking too long, causing your teacher to prompt you with a grunt and Jungkook to casually reach out and tap the answer again. Your eyes trailing over the written answer before standing up and clearing your throat. The answer rolling off your tongue as easy as breathing; as if you didn't just steal it from a notebook.

You made a silent prayer the teacher didn't notice the sweat threatening to break at your temple. The nervous ticking of your feet tilting from spot to spot. A rush of relief escaping your lips when his response to your answer was to continue class.

You took your seat next to Jungkook; unable to acknowledge him just yet for saving you from whatever punishment your teacher would've no doubt thought of. The realization that Jungkook himself was the reason for your lack of concentration making your cheeks flush an embarrassing pink making your arms wrap protectively around your backpack.

You’d never even brought out your textbook. Never dropped your bag from your desk and no doubt Mr. Choi knew you were given the answer. You buried your mouth against the coarse nylon in a weak attempt to stifle your embarrassment.

“Thank you.”

Your eyes caught the soft tilt of his brow as it rose at the muffled words. You could make out his left shoulder leaning him down towards your huddled position, making your hands involuntarily tighten into your backpack.

“What was that?”

The husky whisper of his words weren't anything you’d heard before, and they resonated up your spine to leave you staring starry-eyed.

“Th-thank you. For giving me the answer.”

He didn't respond. His gaze fixed solely on your face until you forcibly struggled to keep from fidgeting under its weight. After what felt like a small eternity, Jungkook nodded his head and faced forward. The sudden ghost of the death of your conversation causing you to blink at his profile.

The rest of the class was spent with your focus lacking on taking notes. How could you focus with his presence commanding your attention? A small army of ants creeping along your nerves demanding to acknowledge him. It was so strong, when the bell rang you jumped up from your seat to try and escape into the freedom of the school’s hallway, only to end up with your knee connecting straight into the hardwood of the desk. Jungkook’s snort at your misfortune was enough to remind you how much of an arrogant pain in the ass he could be.

“Wow - good job doofus.”

Your head snapped back in his direction; tongue rolling in your cheek as he hopped up from his seat. A hand snaking out to grab his bag and sling it over his shoulder as the other reached for his cane. You held your head high despite how awful your knee was stinging, and stood up adjusting your bag.

“Seriously? That's all you've got? Doofus? Next time let’s try harder.”

Jungkook didn't seemed miffed by your retort, actually seeming more amused than anything, and for some reason it only bugged you more. Did you really want to get into another argument like you were in primary school with him? You discarded the thought as you tightened the strings on your backpack and decided to take the mature route and leave him behind.

The hallways mass of bodies rushing to get to their next period giving you comfort; until you remembered you shared the same economics class. Today was also a field trip to a farm to learn the process of making soy products. It would take up the last few classes of the day. You’d been excited to spend the day out of class and enjoy the rustic scenery out of town. Your only hope was that he hadn't been able to get his parental slip signed; he’d just started the day before. How could he?

When the teacher walked in and asked Jungkook for his permission slip you wanted to howl. Why was the universe so cruel? But why did you care so much?

It was a question you didn't bother to think about; you just grumbled the whole way to the bus. Your teacher standing at its entrance to put a check by your names every time one of your classmates passed him by like lined up cattle. You were the last checkmark: the last person to find an available seat. You rounded the final step and your stomach sank down into your shoes. The universe seeming to play a sick joke of musical chairs; your only options being Jungkook or Amber, the girl who actively struggled to make sure your life was a living hell.

You’d rather be eaten by dogs than even attempt to sit with her. Jungkook it was, then.

Your hand clasped tighter around the strap of your bag as you moved it farther up your shoulder. A large sigh accommodating your steps as you side-stepped down the aisle ending with you in front of his seat. His cane taking up what was left of it.

Jungkook didn't seem to register your presence or he just decided to pretend you weren't there. Either way you felt your annoyance grow as you cleared your throat to grab his attention. His chin barely leaving the perch of his fist as his head turned; gaze intimidating in a way that left your fingers pinching the fabric of yours clothes just to make sure they were still there and he hadn't stared straight through them.

“Can I help you?”

“I need a seat.”

He looked back and no doubt noticed the open spot next to Amber. Jungkook’s giving the slightest nod as he retorted, “There’s one right back there.”

“Come on, Jungkook. What do you want?”

“You're bribing me now?”

His smile was so bright, borderline adorable, and you hated how it threatened to make you retaliate with your own.

“Stop being a brat and just tell me,” you snapped instead.

Jungkook shot a quick glance back at Amber’s giggling figure. You were sure most people thought she sounded like wind chimes or something else cute and feminine, but to you it just sounded like a cat dying. When he looked back at you, Jungkook checked you out one last time. His eyes stopping at the lone earbud that sat against your chest. For a moment, you thought he was actually staring at your breasts making your cheeks burn and your gaze to look anywhere else but at his smug face.

“Let me listen to your iPod there and back on this trip, and I'll let you sit with me.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

Jungkook did a lavish hand sweep at the window. The motion reminding you of the showgirls on The Price is Right, making you believe maybe he’d somehow watched it, and one too many times.

“You get to use your imagination while you look out the window.”

“No way. Joint custody.”

“Fine. Joint custody, but I get to pick the music the whole way. If you have shitty taste the deal's off.”

He stuck out his hand for you to shake and there was a moment, a minor second, that it felt like you were making a deal with the devil. However, the sound of Amber’s laughter practically had your hand bolting into Jungkook’s. You shook it harder than was necessary before dropping it and shooing him to move.

Jungkook removed his bag and cane from the seat. Your legs giving out moments later so you could plop down in it, only to be greeted by his outstretched hand. The smile that spread across his lips shining brighter than the mischief in his eyes.

“As per our agreement: the iPod.”

He wiggles his fingers and you wanted to smack him. Your own squeezing tighter against the metal until, reluctantly, you chose your fate by placing it into his hand. Jungkook didn’t seem to mind your current look of displeasure while you watched him begin to scroll through your assorted music collection.

At least the seat was warm.

The first few seconds were somehow more awkward than you thought possible. Eyes locked in a fifty-yard stare so intense a soldier would’ve been envious. The only movement you caught of him was from your peripherals. Jungkook’s thumbs picking up speed from the leisurely way he scanned through the artists you’d offered. And no you did not, whatsoever, happen to notice the way his bottom lip would dart inside his mouth just to be held gently between his teeth. All the while his eyes focused on the task in front of him.

Nope. You weren’t paying attention to him. Not even a little bit. So how he was able to make you jump twelve inches out of your skin, while you were most definitely not embarrassing yourself by gawking over a beautiful man, was beyond you.

“Ya!” Jungkook clicked his tongue in distaste. His hand wiggling the ipod in your direction, as if it had caused some great offense. “What is this?”

Your neck tiled as you regarded him like he’d grown two heads. You were also positive if your eyebrows knitted together any harder you’d end up with a unibrow.

“Ugh, a mystical device that plays music.”

The look on Jungkook’s face faltered from frustration to annoyance. It was so sudden it ended up sending a bark of laughter in his direction. And just like that, the annoyed look was back again.

“I mean, what the hell do you have on this thing. Who is The Dead Weather? City and Colour? Joji?”

“They are artists I enjoy.”

“They’re shit.”

You rushed to try and snatch it back from him. Jungkook’s reflexes proving to be faster than your growing urge to smack him.

“Excuse me, little miss,” he began. “What do you think you’re doing?”

He used his index finger to push gently against your forehead, but with the current level of irritation, he still proved faster than you. Your failed attempt to swat his hand away meeting only empty air. Earning you a smirk of smug satisfaction.

“I’m trying to get my things back.”

“That wasn’t part of our agreement.”

You tried one last time to take him by surprise. Your right hand shot out too hard to grab at the object clasped in his large hands. The momentum carried you forward to land shoulder first against his chest. Leg nudging against his with enough force that it caused his cane to move an inch. It took everything you had to keep your head down to hide your flaming cheeks.

“And now you’re assaulting me.”

If your eyes were capable of rolling back any father you might've seen brain cells.

“I was only trying to get my property back. Since the only thing that’s coming out of you is complaining.”

“I’m not complaining,” he snapped. “You’re acting like an Indian giver.”

“Is that all you know how to do: complain?” You continued, completely ignoring him. A slight smirk now etching your lips. Jungkook’s eyes flicking down to notice your amusement at his expense. “I believe they call it, ‘trying something new.’”

His eyes narrowed on you and for a split second your pulse began to race. Sure, the agitation on his face at your teasing was obvious, but you could’ve sworn...maybe...just maybe he was smirking. Could you have possibly been able to make him smile?

“I should make you go sit with Amber.”

The smugness in his voice and the cocky smile that joined it instantly made whatever fun you were having come to a complete halt. Jungkook was so pleased with himself he had the audacity to shimmy his shoulders like he’d already won. The rolls had reversed. It was your eyes turn to throw daggers in his direction.

“Now who's the Indian giver.”

Even though he played up on what he felt like was a win, you could tell he was not as amused. His non-injured leg bounced to an incredible rhythm that he could only hear. Probably a furious count to a hundred to keep himself from saying anything else to continue your usual thrilling conversations. So when he handed over one earbud, and the iPod, but placed the other into his ear, it was fair to say it left you baffled.

You were waiting so long for him to give an explanation, but all he did was continue to stare at you. It was starting to make your pulse race again. Why did he constantly have to feel so intense? Everything about him. Not even his current state made him seem any less notable. It just didn’t seem fair.

It wasn’t until he cleared his throat did you realize you’d been staring. For god knows how damn long.

“You gonna play something or not?” he asked.

His hand motioned towards the music while his fingers adjusted the earbud he’d kept.

“I’m so confused.”

“You look it,” he retorted, causing your earlier thoughts to remember, although handsome, he was an incredible pain in the ass.

“Ten seconds ago you complained about my music. Now you want me to play it for you.”

Jungkook turned his gaze away, his body relaxing back against the hard foam of the seat. His eyes still cast outside the window as if he was trying to find some way to escape.

“Either I can spend the next couple hours listening to you talk, or “try” out some new music. If I have a choice, I’ll pick the music please and thank you.”

Oh, how you wish you could’ve shoved him out that tiny window. But as much as you hated to admit it, Jungkook was right. Music was the only reasonable escape from possibly having either of you commit murder.

It was your turn to try and get comfortable. This time your thumb scanning down the list of artists until your eyes caught sight of one he’d mentioned. Without giving him warning you pressed play. The haunting melody of Joji’s “Dancing in the Dark,” flooded the earbuds. His voice melancholic as he began to sing a sad tale of not wanting to be the hidden second option.

The song choice was enough to finally get Jungkook to look back at you. Somehow already having enough with the song choice before it’d barely even reached the chorus.

“Just listen.”

It was the only advice you could give him, and hopefully the reassurance you’d tried to ease into your tone was enough. Whether it was or not, by the time the chorus began he seemingly relaxed again into the seat. His arms moving to cross lazily against his chest. He seemed to actually be taking in the song while he watched out the window. The passing of the steel and concrete that was Seoul into the rural areas of green and forest.

The music itself was calming. It was enough to let yourself fully relax back against it and close your eyes. With your eyes closed you could easily fade out the sounds of the sporadic conversations on the bus. Even though you only had one ear bud, all you needed was to concentrate on the music to drown out the world.

It took a few seconds for you to be pulled into a Joji’s song about terrible longing and being left behind by a lover. I mean, you didn’t really know too much about the latter, but hey, a girl could daydream. His voice was seconds away from heading into the second verse of the chorus, when you heard the sound of the melody being lightly sung beside you.

The voice was beautiful. The most startling part, not the fact of its softness, or the way it swelled in perfect harmony with the song, was that it came from Jungkook. Your eyes flung open with your head snapping to gaze at his serene expression. He continued to face the window, daylight playing along the profile of his face, and his gentle voice singing perfectly in tune.

It wasn’t loud enough that anyone else could’ve heard it over the dozens of bursting conversations being spoken throughout the bus. That the only conclusion you could come up with to why he would be singing at all. He thought no one would be able to pay attention. You probably would’ve stayed gawking at him if his eyes fluttering open didn’t send you crashing back against the seat and clutching your eyes shut. You needed to pretend you hadn’t noticed. Or else he would stop. He would hide this part of himself that showed he was more than what he tried to portray.

You didn’t have to open your eyes to know he was glancing in your direction. To see his eyes gaze over you with suspicion before settling back and listening to the next track. Khalid’s intro of “Talk,” beginning to play into your earbud.

You spent the rest of the trip staying beside him, close as you could get without looking creepy, just to hear him gently sing. He breathed a gentle version of each one he knew, or came to like, and made it his own. Even being a few times were his nerves got the better of him. His voice rising ever slightly when he drew too deep into the song. He would quiet after each outburst, but to your pleasure Jungkook would start back up moments later.

After all the bickering, you could definitely say the trade was worth it. You were so taken with listening to him that when the bus came to a stop, you didn’t realize it until your earbud was yanked from your ears. Your eyes heavy from sleep fluttered open and closed a few times before they focused on Jungkook’s face.

“Ya, didn’t you hear them call us off the bus?”

Your response came in the form of slow blinks and a mouth half-hung open. You wished more for a nap than going out to explore a farm, but your limbs were screaming to be stretched. You went to answer him when, instead, Jungkook grabbed his bag, cane, and started to try and scoot over you.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to get by! So excuse me!”

His backside rubbed against your arms and, to your horror, your chest. Without thinking, your hand lashed out to smack across his bottom causing both of you to go as still as the dead. Your heart was thundering as you looked at your hand like it’d just finished committing murder. Maybe it had. But the only person it’d murdered was you with your eyes roaming up to see a shocked Jungkook gawking down at you over his shoulder.

“Did you really just smack my ass.”

“It was an accident!”

“An accident?” He questioned.

“Self-defense!”

Jungkook tried to hide the amusement your no doubt panicking was causing him. His mouth struggling to keep the frown that was tilting ever so slightly at the top of his lips.

“If anything needed to be defended, it was my honor. Over here just smacking people’s ass’s without a warning.”

You knew by now your face looked like a fire hydrant.

“Self-defense from you dragging your ass all over me! I’m not a seat, ya know.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

This time Jungkook didn’t try to hide his smile. To your surprise, it wasn’t a malicious one that showed he enjoyed your embarrassment. No. This one decorated his face in something softer that made your heart thunder to a different rhythm entirely.

“Oh, look you guys. Shit Stain and The Cripple are flirting.”

Amber’s grating voice was one you’d grown painstakingly accustomed too. The sinister way she spoke impossibly loud just so everyone was forced to hear her. Whether they wanted to or not. You were used to her coldness and the constant way she harassed you. What you weren’t so used to, was having Jungkook as part of the punchline.

Immediately, you felt his legs tense where they touched you. The muscles ramrod straight and flexing under the skin. The lighthearted tone you’d heard seconds before in your banter was now replaced with an aloofness that made you stiffen in your seat. Jungkook’s jaw held tight as he regarded Amber as if she were no more than a pest buzzing at his ear.

“Ya, fix your nose before you bother talking to me. I can see half the planet up there.”

Amber’s eyes flashed hellfire as she glowered over her shoulders to stop the giggling that ensued. When all grew quiet enough to where she felt like she would be heard, a harsh smile spread her lips. Her legs began to take a step to move away from the two peasants who’d held enough of her attention.

“Whatever, Cripple. Try not to get your stick in any holes.”

She was passing the front of your shared seat when, suddenly, Amber’s legs gave way. A tumbling mess of shrieks, bleached hair, and her arms flapping rapidly a solid indication of her mysterious attempt at taking flight. The only thing that moved to catch her was her face. The minute the laughter began to bubble up inside you, you quickly placed a hand over your mouth. Least the she-devil hear it escape.

You took a second to inspect what could’ve possibly taken down the ice queen. Even when she wore ridiculously high heels, Amber walked with a grace you knew you’d never pull off. Not without looking like a newborn giraffe, that is. Glancing down you noticed Jungkook’s cane strategically placed right where her foot would’ve landed. The culprit in making Amber a freshly minted carpet on the bus’s floor. Somewhere on the bus you knew she was up from her tumble and huffing a few choice words. You were sure she knew, just like you did, that Jungkook was the one who’d done it. You paid no attention to her tantrum and kept a transfixed gaze on him.

He’d finished scooting the rest of the way to get to the middle of the bus and was situating his cane and shoulder bag. His hand suddenly reaching down into view and patiently waiting for you to take it.

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s go.”

You knew you looked like a fool. Your eyes mirroring the thousands of silent questions that threatened to make you ill. A part of you hoping he understood your dumbfounded look simply begged him to find some way to answer you. You’d stared starry-eyed up at him for so long you half expected the patience of Jungkook’s open hand to fall flat. Instead, he continued to surprise you. His gaze gentle, and hand openly waiting for you to take it when you were ready.

With eyes wide and mouth agape, your body rejected your stunned silence and placed a small hand in his. His own quickly enveloped yours perfectly and gave you the added support you needed to find stable footing beside him. Jungkook finally looked away from you to stare at the remaining goons.

The moment you stood beside him you became painfully aware of the noticeable height difference. Your gaze moving up inch-by-inch until your eyes were locked onto his face. The stubbornness of a hard set jaw and eyes that dared anyone to speak enough to make your heartbeat pick up in your chest. When he appeared to be finished making sure his presence was known, Jungkook’s eyes turned back to you. A silent request of reassurance to know you were alright making you answer with a quick nod.

Your cheeks blushed furiously as you struggled to look away from his gaze. No longer were you so worried about Amber; your mind trapped on a repeat of questions. Did Jungkook always smell like Calvin Klein cologne? Could it be considered weird how you felt undeniable comfort pressed up against him? Or really weird if in your head you suddenly imagined recreating this scene a million times later with you being braver beside him, instead of being the damsel in distress.

He didn’t seem at all perplexed with your case of sudden shyness. His strong legs pulling you both forward and past the horde of Amber and her lackeys without missing a step. His head held high while the other hand helped him keep his balance without using his cane. For the small world that was high school, Jungkook showed them he was still that once popular boy who was known for not taking shit from no one. A demi-god amongst mere mortals that were somehow honored by his presence.

And here you were. So close to the orbit of his sun and walking away unscathed.

Your train of rushing thoughts kept you from paying attention. It was something you soon were going to regret when he led you off the steps of the bus and onto the dirt road. Jungkook’s exit was obviously graceful while yours in comparison was a train wreck. Instead of your feet stepping off the last step and landing like a normal person, you lost your footing. Your clumsy feet sending you struggling to find a balance with the earth before you crash landed on the floor. Luckily, Jungkook’s back was there to catch you.

The momentum of your fall sent his feet skittering to correct you both before you fell into the dirt. A few choice cuss words leaving his lips and crimson flaring up on your cheeks to make the dance of falling even more entertaining. You could practically hear the cackling of the witches echoing out of the bus like a cave.

Jungkook made quick work of righting you both; his good leg furiously hoping to support the weak one. His cane dug into the earth a good inch to add some more stabilization. You let go of his hand and moved away from his side where you’d previously been planted. You weren’t worthy of being there. This boy who saw your distress and helped you. Only for you to ruin it in the process.

“Well that’s one way to ruin an exit,” he huffed.

He glanced in your direction and you could’ve sworn he was smiling. Or was that a smirk? Whatever it was, it was quickly washed away as his eyes took you in. “You okay?”

“I’m sorry!”

Your words rushed from your lips with your back snapping to bow a perfect ninety-degrees. Your hair a curtain to try and hide your embarrassment.

“Ugh...for what?”

“For bumping into you like that. I should’ve been paying attention.”

A soft laugh bounced from between his lips and you were willing to beat his face lit up like pure sunshine. You moved to stand upright just in time to see you were right. Jungkook was either oblivious to the way you were looking at him, or was simply unfazed. His shoulder hiking the backpack where it’d begun to fall as he adjusted himself to get ready to move to join the rest of the class up ahead.

“You did ruin one hell of a stylish exit.”

“I don’t know how stylish you can be stepping off of a school bus, but...thank you.”

The both of you locked eyes with one another. A large part of you hoped Jungkook was able to see the sincerity or at least hear it. Maybe he wasn’t that much of a pain in the ass after all. That soft smirk you’d grown accustomed to etched back on his lips as he took the first step towards your waiting classmates.

“No problem. Plus, I figured I owed you for letting me listen to your music.”

You felt your brow shoot up in mock surprise. Your legs falling into step beside him.

“I thought you said I had terrible taste.”

“I never said terrible,” Jungkook corrected. His eyes danced with a playfulness that lifted a smile to your lips

“You could’ve fooled me.”

“Well, it wasn’t the greatest, but thank you. I actually ended up liking most of it, at least.”

“Oh, what a sweet way of insulting my musical taste.”

“Hey! I said I liked most of it. It’s like a win-win. Kinda.”

You wanted to be snappy. Give him some more hell for always playing up on being a condescending moody jerk. In reality, walking next to Jungkook while the silence swelled around you without the awkward pressure; you knew that wasn’t all of him. He’d proven how sweet he could be at the memory of how easily you’d felt protected by a simple stretch of a hand. The look in his eyes while he waited for you to take his extended hand a plea to know you could trust him. Strangely, a part of you already felt like you could.

You snuck a look over in Jungkook’s direction, and felt a smile begin to sweep up the corners of your lips. It was a different, but nice, change to have someone come to your defense. Yeah, most of the time you wanted to throttle him for seeming like he could care less. In that moment, however, he cared enough to help. That had to mean something.

“You’re welcome.”

You hoped your words conveyed the gratitude you felt in that moment. Prayed that Jungkook could hear it. When he looked at you, you made sure to give him a quick smile before you looked away. Your eyes struggled not to look back at him; to tell him all the things that were racing through your head. It took every ounce of your will to stay focused on the group of classmates that were growing closer. Somewhere along the way, you’d hoped Jungkook would’ve replied with his usual smart ass remarks. It worried you how sad a small part of you felt at his silence.

Now, you worried maybe you were going a little nuts.

Instead, you came to the edge of the group in silence. Your ears struggling to grasp on to the middle of what your teacher gave out for instructions for the day.

So what if that insane part of you didn’t receive a smart ass remark in return for your gratitude. You were more than happy with the fact Jungkook stayed by your side. The close proximity just enough to convey what you were both feeling without unnecessary words.

______________

For the past hour the farmer -Kim Sejung - had shown the class around his vast property. The beginning of this magical tour starting with where he manufactured the tofu once it was fermented then sent down to be processed for packaging. He was a man who took immense pride in his work. The next room where the fermentation took place and, his overeager explanation, spelled out how devoted he was to his craft.

The whole entire backwards presentation was something your teacher decided became a chance for everyone to write down everything you’d been shown. A punishment you knew was coming when Kim Sejung lost half the class to their own conversations long before you’d hit the second part of his speech.

Now, anyone could be wondering why all of you were taking the longest stroll of your life out in the middle of the farm. A fair question you’d been asking yourself since you realized your shoes were completely covered in mud. You’d been trying to understand why this hadn’t been the first place Kim Sejung would’ve taken all of you. Your only guess being he just enjoyed showing the process backwards. Or maybe he was secretly a mastermind at torture. It was the only logical conclusion you could come up with at having the entire class now out in the muddy acres of his farm.

And sure, maybe your attention was being sent over your shoulder every five seconds. A certain boy with exhaustion creased in his brow making it harder for you to ignore. You were looking back so often you felt like you’d end up with whiplash at any minute. Really, it was all Jungkook’ fault for causing you to worry; becoming painfully aware with each glance at Jungkook’s struggling frame.

How Sejung -, or anyone else for that matter, hadn’t noticed he was falling further behind the group with every step left you completely perplexed. You’d gave up listening to whatever the farmer or teacher talked about or what questions they were throwing around. You could bet it had to do about soil.

If everyone else could ignore him why couldn’t you? It’s not that you hadn’t tried, cause of course you’d done exactly that. Your bottom lip now held a semi-permanent indent from your teeth. Whenever you felt that tick in your neck to look back to check on him: you bit down. When you felt like drawing attention to him by saying something: you bit down. A part of you willing to bet Jungkook would never forgive you if you did.

Your solution? It was ingenious, really.

You fell back behind every classmate. Patiently, you waited for everyone to pass you up. Your feet dragging in the muddy dirt until you were sure no one would notice when you inevitably stopped.

With a soft count of three under your breath, you came to a halt at the back of the group. Your small count continued for another round before you were comfortable with the distance it’d placed between the group, Jungkook, and yourself.

You let out a huff of satisfaction as you turned around to give Jungkook your complete attention. Your neck thanking you for the small favor. What you found, however, greeting you was far from what you’d hoped to find.

Jungkook’s current location became a solid five feet behind the group. His feet finally coming to the large puddle of mud that you and the class had easily maneuvered Jungkook had not. His struggle coming to a standstill at the muddy puddles edge. Jungkook’s face etched itself in harsh determination to no doubt allow him from moving forward. You told yourself you would stay back and wait for him.

Just wait, You kept telling yourself over and over. A broken record having nothing on what you felt capable of standing there. Your pulse bonding in your veins and feet bouncing with anxiety as he assessed his options. All you were supposed to do was hang back to walk with him. That was it. You weren’t his nanny. You knew how he felt about being pitied, and yet, when he took his first tentative step out into the mud and his cane sunk deep and his bad leg followed suit, your feet deceived you.

It appeared Mother Nature had her own way of pushing you past your reserved good intentions. Your feet sprinted forward fast enough that you were embarrassed at their quickness. The expected movement bringing Jungkook’s frustrated gaze up from his current dilemma to you.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?”

The annoyance held in his question didn’t go unnoticed by you. If it was you in his position, you’d be annoyed seeing you standing there too and not offering to help.

“I came to help you.”

The words just streamed out with your running thoughts. Your feet willing to move forward back into the mud to help him. Jungkook noticeably began to struggle to remove his foot that submerged quickly underneath.

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

“You didn’t have too, Jungkook. I want to help.”

“Let me rephrase myself.” His irritation was pure fire in his eyes as his words hurled in your direction. “I didn’t ask for it and I don’t want it.”

You wish you could say you handled his dismissal with grace. That you understood he was only being a jerk because he was embarrassed and angry at his current predicament. You really wanted to be that bigger person. Well...that most definitely wasn’t what happened.

Your eyes narrowed in on him. Your previous desire to help evaporated as you watched his leg sink deeper. His other foot soon joined the first in a poorly calculated attempt to release the other. Your arms crossed over your chest as you took in the scene before you.

“Well, Jungkook, I’m not sure if you noticed but you’re slowly heading towards being buried under that mud.”

“Thank you for that astute observation. Anything else you’d like to add?”

“Why are you being such an asshole?!” you snapped.

Your arms came loose down at your side and turned to clenched fists. You weren’t exactly sure what you expected his reaction to be. You knew Jungkook held a hatred for being pitied. Hell, you would too if it was the other way around. You knew he wasn’t helpless, but you also knew he couldn’t do everything alone. No one could. So what was so wrong with offering to help him?

You weren’t sure how you looked. Maybe crazy? Or did the desperation of not knowing how to handle the situation have you appear sad? Whatever it was Jungkook saw, it was enough to look away. His eyes dropping down to his covered feet.

The space between the two of you swelled with tension. His hair perfectly covering his face, and kept you from being able to steal any glance. It was enough to make you unsure if you should prepare yourself for a verbal battle with him or if you should simply walk away. What if you’d made a mistake thinking Jungkook would want to be bothered at all with help. Especially from you.

“God, this is embarrassing.”

His words were so light you weren’t sure at first if he’d spoken. A part of you wondering if you’d made up the sound of his voice as Jungkook’s face continued to be hidden by layers of hair. But, lord help you, you knew you weren’t imagining things. The sound of his voice is something you’d come to recognize with ease. You knew without a doubt it most definitely was him. And the sadness that reverberated from his words made your anger dissipate instantly.

“What?”

Could you have picked a stupider response? When Jungkook lifted his head up to look at you, you knew he silently agreed.

“It’s embarrassing!” His hands motioned to take in his current predicament. The hurt shown on his proud features made your heart ache to comfort him. “How pitiful can I get? It’s so damn frustrating! The cripple unable to get himself out of some stupid mud.”

“Jungkook, you are literally the least pitiful person I’ve ever met.”

“And yet, it doesn’t make me any less stuck.”

You took a step forward and began to try and edge around what you could of the puddle. You knew there was no way you weren’t getting more mud on your shoes, but the purpose was worth it.

“Why didn’t you just go around it?” Your question earned you a dead stare. One that reminded you of your mother when she felt like you’d asked the silliest question. You held your hands up in surrender and said, “Hey. It’s a fair question.”

“If I just go around it, it proves that I can’t do the simplest thing, Y/N. It proves…”

“That you aren’t like everybody else,” you finished for him.

You could’ve kicked yourself. How could you not have noticed it sooner. Jungkook just wanted to prove to himself that he could still do things like he did before his accident. Because even though he showed people bringing up his disability didn’t bother him, it did. He still hadn’t come to terms with what happened, and believed the current state of his leg deemed him less worthy.

He looked away from whatever he saw in your eyes. His own fighting not to show the sadness that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

“You aren’t like everyone else, Jungkook.” Your words tore his head back in your direction. His shoulders quickly squared up to take whatever verbal blow you were about to hurl in his direction. You were happy to convince him otherwise.

“You don’t need to prove anything to a single person. Yeah, you aren’t a hundred percent who you used to be, but it doesn’t make you any less you. You aren’t defined by a damn leg and if another human being does treat you differently because of it: fuck’em. Now, get your shit together and hand me the end of your cane.”

The both of you stared at one another for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook’s face unreadable as his eyes took you in making you squirm just the slightest bit. Whether he was looking for a hint that you were deceiving him; that something hurtful laid underneath, he wouldn’t find it. You made sure with your hand this time open and waiting for him, that he could see just how much you meant what you said.

After what felt like a baby size eternity, Jungkook answered you in a way you’d grown to expect. In one swift motion, he picked his cane out from the mud and placed it, dirty end first into your waiting hand. Your face scrunched up in disgust, as the leftover mud squished between your fingers. The action enough to break the coldness of Jungkook’s blank expression into the smirk that was all too familiar.

“Oh my god! You would do that.”

The amusement on his face was enough to tell you he’d most definitely done it on purpose. Of course, you’d already known that. You didn’t need his raised eyebrow or that devilish smirk to inform you of that.

“Oh, so you think you know me now.”

“I know enough to know, without a doubt, this is something you’d do. Brat.”

You saved the last word for good measure and it was met with a bark of surprise laughter. His reaction was not something you’d expected, but a welcomed one as his face instantly lit up brighter than you’d ever seen. Jungkook’s laughter and smile was genuine and good god, was it breathtakingly adorable.

Who knew calling him a brat led to so many heart stopping possibilities? Like no longer having a permanent scowl.

“Alright smart ass, how about we settle this for when I’m not stuck in the mud.”

“You got yourself a deal. Only if you stop pouting.”

“I was not pouting!”

It was your turn to laugh wholeheartedly while your other hand moved to secure itself to his cane. There was no way you’d be letting it slip free from you. Mud or no mud.

“Tomato potato: pouting is pouting.”

Jungkook’s head tilted to the side. His brain noticeably trying to comprehend what it was you just said.

“That makes absolutely no sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, Jungkook now grab a hold of yo-“

Honestly, you should’ve seen this coming. He’d already given you a muddy end of a cane. It was the perfect foreshadowing moment that was leading up to this, and yet, somehow you were surprised when he pulled with full force. You figured he was strong - not freakishly. Not enough to send you flying face first toward the large mud puddle with the sound of a squeaking bird of surprise that you could only assume was yourself.

The only thing that kept you from going face first was a split second decision to ruin just the lower half of your outfit.

The impact with the mud was squishy and came with the weirdest sound effects that reminded you of pushing your hand into a container of slim. God, was it squishy. An immediate, “Ewww,” dragging out from your lips as your hands lifted up from where they’d been buried. Your eyes taking in the full extent of your lower half now resembles the Swamp Thing.

Jungkook’s laughter brought you back to reality and flinging what was left of the mud on your hands in his direction. It only earned you another bark of laughter.

“What in the hell was that for?!”

“Now whose pouting?” He teased.

You wanted to hit him but you knew you couldn’t reach. So you settled for flinging another round of mud.

“Are you kidding me? You pulled me in here cause I said you were pouting!”

“Yup.”

“Unbelievable. You’re a child.”

“I thought you said brat?”

“That too! Ugh! Jungkook! You’re such a pain in the ass. I’m not helping you anymore.”

You moved to try and pull up one leg and found it way more difficult than you’d imagined. Seriously, was this shit superglue? No matter how many times you struggled to pull up either leg it wouldn’t budge; producing an agitated groan to seep from your body.

You wanted to murder him.

When you glanced up at him at least Jungkook had the decency to appear worried.

“Do you need help? I didn’t think it’d be so hard for you to pull yourself up.”

“Oh, so you’re worried about me not being able to pull myself up, but not about me covered in mud.”

The shrug Jungkook gave as an answer made you want to throttle him. You wanted to tell him to shove his help up his ass. Realistically, however, you knew there was no way you were getting unstuck without getting dirtier from crawling around. For a second time, his hand appeared, like magic, in front of you.

Your eyes trailed up his hand to that devilish grin of his and found your earlier agitation disintegrate. What you hated the most, was how his eyes lit up to match his smile. This warm version of Jungkook wasn’t someone you were used to. You’d seen the cocky jock who knew he was good at everything. Experienced the real asshole Jungkook that made you want to rip out chunks of hair. But this side of him...was worth a heartache or two.

Without another thought you reached out and took his hand and allowed him to start lifting you up. It wasn’t until you were half way you came up with your own plan. A devilish grin of your own spreading your lips wide as the idea grew into something worth doing .

Jungkook had a moment to be confused before your free hand shot out and took fierce hold of his forearm. You made sure it was locked in place before your body went completely limp, and sent his body into an unbalanced mess.

“The fu-!”

Jungkook’s descent, at first, made you feel like you’d accomplished a victory. One you didn’t get to relish in for long. Jungkook may not have been able to finish his earlier sentence, but you easily made up for it. A softened, “Fuck!” came pressed from your chest as he landed sideways on top of you. The angle reminded you of an awkward pair of scissors: if one part of the scissors was ridiculously muscled for a student.

You’d had little time to move your hands up to brace yourself against his weight. The air from your lungs whooshing out in laughter with your body struggling to recover from underneath him. And no, no you weren’t painfully aware that your hands could feel every well lined muscle under the fabric of his t-shirt. And no, you were not blushing. Not even a little.

You were sure when Jungkook lifted his head up to look in your direction, he’d see the sinful glee you took in your awkward positioning. Instead, your lungs erupted into laughter. One side of his face perfectly smeared with mud making one eye remain closed and his right doing most of the work. He looked ridiculous...and cute.

“You think this is funny?”

“I think-I think it’s the best thing I’m going to see all day.”

It took a few tries to speak through your laughter, but when you finally got the words out you couldn’t have been more proud. Jungkook on the other hand, seemed to struggle to keep the annoyance on his face. The first sign of a smile cracking into the mud that began to dry on his face.

Jungkook moved to prop himself up - the action giving you the room you needed to wiggle out from underneath him. You were about to call it a success, a retort to an unspoken comment he’d yet to make. All of it came crashing down, however, when Jungkook’s mud covered hand rose from the depths and placed a long streak down your nose with his thumb giving an artistic sweep across your cheek.

The marks he gave reminded you of those old western movies you’d seen. Warpaint covered faces of men getting ready to square off to defend their home from invaders. The thought seemed to match perfectly with the beat of your heart thundering like a drum inside your chest.

It wasn’t just because Jungkook touched you - on purpose - in a playful way. It had nothing to do with the fact his muddy hand was currently resting against your cheek. Or from the denial that it brought out a spark of mischievous happiness to ignite inside you as your mouth fell open to expose the sound of laughter. No, your heart pounded against your chest purely for the look that passed behind chocolate eyes and the soft smile that followed close behind.

So, sure. In that instance it could’ve just been a plan old look. You weren’t a hundred percent sure it wasn’t more than just a look though, either. There was that one boy in first grade, however, who did give you an aggressive teeth-clacking peck on the lips during recess, but this was completely different.

And because you were so uncertain of what it all meant, your only reaction was to lift your hand up from beside you and slam it palm first against his face.

Jungkook’s face lit up in shock and you couldn’t stop the eruption of laughter that spilled from your lips. It was an immediate rush of joy at seeing his handsome face marked by your small muddy handprint that streaked itself across the plains of his face. Normally, you’d be mortified: waiting patiently to be scolded and made to feel small. Instead, the shock wore off his face in an instant. Jungkook’s eyes lighting up with childlike excitement as a giddy, “Oh yeah?” rushed between his lips.

You didn’t have a chance to wonder what he meant before he reached into the mud and brought up a snowball version of the earth.

“Oh, no you don’t!”

Your eyes went wide and frantic giggles exploded free as your body struggled in vain to get out from under him. The previous joy of being pinned by his weight dissipating when that large mud ball found its new home smeared on top of your head.

“Jungkook-ah!”

His own laughter rose up around you as your body began to move in earnest to get out from under him. When you finally realized it was pointless, another bright idea overtook you. If Jungkook noticed the renewed mischievous glint in your eye, he didn’t show it.

He continued to smile obliviously down at you until the two fist fulls of mud you’d taken in both hands came crashing down on top of his head. It didn’t matter that your face caught some of the aftermath: the face he made was priceless.

You didn’t get a chance to enjoy your tiny victory before the two of you were a mess of arms and limbs rolling feverishly around; the two of you playfully wrestling for dominance. The mixture of your laughter rising up until you weren’t sure where Jungkook’s ended and yours began. By the end of it, you were both resembling the pigs you’d seen earlier on the farm. Bodies fully covered in wet earth and lounging beside each other in exhaustion. Every few moments random fits of giggles overtaking the two of you until you realized you both needed to get back.

This time, instead of the two of you refusing help from the other, you eagerly took it. The both of you worked together to reach the edge of the mud pit and, without further incident, pulled each other out.

The walk back to the main barn was done in silence. In other circumstances, you would’ve been consumed with a need to fill it. The impending weight of anxiety would’ve flared across your skin until you would’ve blurted out anything. Small talk was never one of your strong suits, but a comfortable banter had somehow formed between the two of you. You knew if you started talking, Jungkook would respond. It was still a fifty-fifty on whether or not it would be a smart ass response or a real one, but a response nonetheless.

You didn’t try to start a conversation. You chose to enjoy the reassurance that he was beside you. Your mind running through what exactly just happened and how you both ended up looking like bad impression art. You’d spent so much time stealing glances in his direction that you could’ve sworn you caught him doing the same. But who were you kidding. No one had stolen glances at you since middle school, and that was only to steal the answers off tests.

There was no way Jeon Jungkook would be the one to break that trend. No matter how flattering the thought. So when you felt that knowable itch of being watched you found yourself surprised that Jungkook was indeed staring at you.

“Are you cold?”

Jungkook’s question jolted you from your train of thought and sent you reeling into another. He was closer to you now. Close like you’d been while sitting on the bus with your shoulders brushing with every movement. Every bump helplessly sending you lightly banging into the other.

On the bus you could easily play it off as something out of your control. But now? Now there was no good explanation that you could find to why Jungkook decided to walk so closely beside you. There was no way to explain away the way his gaze drew across your face like he’d save it to memory.

“Well I am covered in freezing mud water.”

You’d tried for sarcasm but your voice barely carried over a whisper. It made Jungkook’s head subconsciously dip lower just to hear you. The devilish smirk he was infamous for spread like wildfire across his lips.

“I would offer you my jacket, since it’s the gentlemanly thing to do, but you see some crazy person pushed me into the mud.”

A scoff escaped you as your hand playfully whipped out to slap his shoulder.

“Ya, Jungkook! You? A gentleman? That’s funny. What is also funny is the fact you got yourself stuck in the mud first. I just came to rescue you.”

“Rescue me?” He asked with an eyebrow coyly cocked.

“I’m like your knight in shining armor.”

A throaty laugh came from between his lips; sending his head back exposing his face to the sun. You were mesmerized watching him as the sun kissed down across his face and weren’t at all ashamed at being caught watching as he brought his attention back to you. A smile of your own growing to match the one he wore along with your mind fluttering in wonder of how he was even real.

“If you’re my knight, Y/N I’m in a lot of trouble.”

You feigned hurt but couldn’t hide the grin happily splayed on your face and, crazy thing was, you didn’t want to. It felt impossible that the two of you were so giddy with each other. A strange familiarity brewed heavily between you to the point it felt like the two of you joked like this for years.

Jungkook’s own smile enough to warm the chill that began to creep up your arms to expose goosebumps on your skin. The two of you fell into a shroud of companionable silence and continued to make your way back to the main entrance of the farm. Your heart skipping a helpless beat every time you feel Jungkook’s fingers graze across yours. Your mind hopelessly wanting to believe maybe, just maybe, he was tempted to reach out and hold it.

You came back to the main farm and found your teacher and classmates impatiently waiting. The immediate shock your teacher showed at your appearance seemed to grow more intense until he came storming over: hysterical at your current condition.

“What on earth have the two of you been doing?!”

“They’ve been rolling around with pigs.”

You knew that tart voice anywhere and wasn’t surprised it was Amber that spoke. What did surprise you was how much you didn’t care with Jungkook standing like an equally filthy calm current by your side.

“We’re sorry, seonsaegnim,” Jungkook began coolly with a bow. When he realized you were still standing a hand shot out to the back of your head to bring it down. You quickly slapped it away but kept yourself in a bow. “We got lost from the group and found ourselves stuck in a giant mud pit.”

“It seems to me like you were playing in it,” the farmer chuckled. “I could hose them off before they get back on the bus.”

His offer left heat rising to your cheeks. The sound of a sea of giggles making your stomach ache in embarrassment. You used the curtain of your hair to hide and hoped they’d come up with a different suggestion, but with a small shrug of his shoulder, Jungkook brought your heated attention back to him. A soft smile cracking the now dry handprint you’d left across his cheek.

It was ridiculous. You both looked ridiculous, and yet, he was still handsome. You probably looked like a troll.

“Hey Knight in shining armor,” he whispered. “It seems we get to take a bath together.”

The sun couldn’t be anywhere near as hot as your face felt. The heat spread from red cheeks and down your neck until the butterflies in your stomach were out of control. Jungkook knew what he had done. He could see it plainly on your face and he loved it.

You, on the other hand, wanted to hit him.

And just like divine intervention your teacher did it for you. His curled up pamphlet struck down on top of Jungkook’s head, but it only made his smile grow impossibly larger.

“Ya! I don’t think so! We’ll have you go one at a time to clean up. I’ll look for something for you both to change into.”

Jungkook went first to be hosed down. The farmer actually allowed him to have his privacy so he could get into his more...private areas in peace. The clothes that were found for both of you to wear were old gym clothes thrown in a box in the storage bay at the bottom of the bus. You imagined they must have been thrown there for a reason. The colors were sad and faded down to a color that resembled the mud you’d fallen in. An even sadder rim of yellow wrapped around the sleeves the only hope of color in the terrible outfit you were now forced to wear. At least it was warm with the added bonus Jungkook somehow ended up with the shortest shorts in the box.

After the two of you dried off and changed you were shepherded onto the bus. The place that held Amber and her minions now vacant due to the teacher demanding you sit exactly in the far back in their spot. He must have imagined it would be like putting two naughty kids in time out. The only effect it really had was giving you the chance to breathe and enjoy the solitude.

Jungkook dug around for your earbuds inside your bag. Finally finding the small container and lifting it open. His fingers pulling out the left and surprising you by placing it gently in your ear. Your face must have shown this but Jungkook paid you no mind. He was busy placing the other bud into his ear; flipping the case shut and throwing it back inside to forever be lost until you practically tipped out your bag to locate it again. Oh well. A problem for another time.

“Put on something for the ride home, Y/N. I trust you to be dj again.”

You wanted to tease him. To joke about putting on the YMCA or Macarena . The only thing that stopped you was the relaxed features of Jungkook’s face. The lazy way his neck rested back against the seat and his head languidly gazing in your direction. You tried to squish back all the butterflies that look gave you and a hushed, “Alright. Lady Marmalade it is,” embarrassingly came from between your lips.

Your eyes were too focused on your music list. You didn’t allow them to look as he chuckled beside you. The sound light and rough all at once - demanding you give it attention.

“Don’t make me regret it,” he joked.

You kept scrolling until you found Deans’ “D (Half Moon)”. The soft piano and tone of his voice quickly filled the ear buds and by the soft hum of the voice beside you, you knew you’d pick a good one.

You allowed yourself to relax beside him. Your right hand placing the playlist down between the two of you. Your body was so relaxed you didn’t think about moving your hand anywhere else. Your eyes falling comfortably closed as you continue to listen to the acoustics of the song and the even softer, and equally pleasurable, song of Jungkook singing along.

When his left hand found its way down beside yours, you didn’t question his reasoning. The music held between the two of you and maybe he wanted to change the playlist. You let your mind continue to think that even after his finger gingerly grazed yours and found a home beside them. Both of your hands stayed this way the entire ride back to campus. Neither of you moved to change positions; lost to the sounds of the melodies of the playlist.

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ghostcat3000 · 3 years ago

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SKAM season 3 talkback series: Season Three overview, part two

The SKAM season 3 rewatch talkback series was done in conjunction with a first-time watch for a small group of newbies in 2019. I talked to a cross-section of fans about each episode so our newbies could get a varied taste of what the SKAM fandom was about. I didn’t get to post the final two interviews, here they are at last.

SKAM Season 3: Isak - Structure and Symbolism

Talk back with SKAM recapper @lightsandlostbells

SKAM season three overview (part two) conducted on 25, October 2020

Ghostcat: Hello, hello! Long time no see, here in talkback land. Today we have @lightsandlostbells, who provides my favorite SKAM commentary posts over on tumblr! Go and read if you haven't already. How are you? And welcome to this very lowkey chat corner!

lightsandlostbells: Awwww, thanks for the kind intro. Hello! I'm doing well, how is everyone else? I'm new to Discord so I hope I get this right.

Ghostcat: You only have to type and hit enter. I will attempt to keep things profesh but I can't promise that I'll be successful.

lightsandlostbells: Nice. I'm sitting here drinking tea, underneath my coziest blanket, ready to talk about one of my favorite things ever. It's so cool that years later, people still love Skam season 3 enough to chat about it together.

Ghostcat: Yes! Let's get into this thing, we're here to talk about the tidy little miracle of structure that is SKAM season three. On the one hand, it's a deceptively simple season. Boy comes to terms with sexuality. All's well that ends well. Romance, Drama, plus a sprinkling of mental health issues. 10 episodes, most of them under 30 minutes. I'd call it "mean and lean" if it wasn't such a hopeful story, full of love in a non-saccharine way. Once you start taking it apart and really studying it though, you realize that it's super well-planned, almost like it was ON PURPOSE. lightsandlostbells, you write some of the best recaps of the show. I hesitate to call them just recaps because you really dig into what they're about. What made you start doing them?

lightsandlostbells: 😊 Thank you so much! I started with the remake reactions, actually. When Skam France was released, there was a ton of hype due to being the first remake of Skam. Lots of varying emotions ranging from negative to positive - people who didn't want any remakes, people who were intrigued, and people who were so desperate for any Skam content that they'd take a remake. After the initial clips of Skam France were released, I made a few off-the-cuff posts about what I saw as differences between OG and the remake. Eventually, that grew into me recapping full episodes of the remakes.

Ghostcat: Ah ha.

lightsandlostbells: And eventually that bloomed into me going, well, I love Skam season 3 so much, and it's so wonderfully structured and is packed full of symbolism, why don't I write recaps of those episodes, too? I had all these Feelings about it that weren't going away anytime soon.

Ghostcat: Relatable.

lightsandlostbells: It's such a rich season of TV in detail that there was no shortage of things to write about.

Ghostcat: Before we get into what you discovered in rewatching and recapping, can you tell us a bit about how and when you started watching the show?

lightsandlostbells: By total random chance, haha.

Ghostcat: Were you googling "scam" and misspelled? (because that happened to one of our interviewees).

lightsandlostbells: I love it! No, I have YouTube to blame. In October 2016 this show Eyewitness premiered on USA Network. The show was about two teenage boys in a secret relationship who witness a murder while they're hooking up in the woods. I was like, hey, sounds like it could be good. (Funny thing, it's actually a remake of a Norwegian show...)

Ghostcat: Oh yeah...I think I saw gifs of that.

lightsandlostbells: USA Network put the first 10-15 minutes of the pilot episode on YouTube, so I watched that and then a few videos about the show. Shortly after that, my YT recommendations were full of supercuts of gay storylines...including one called Skam.

Ghostcat: YouTube recs strikes again. So you clicked on...a supercut?

lightsandlostbells: I ignored them for a few days and then, late at night, putting off going to bed, I clicked on a Skam video randomly, thinking I would watch a minute or two and then get bored and exit. Ha.

Ghostcat: LOL.

lightsandlostbells: It was actually the neon party clip!

Ghostcat: Oh geez. My favorite thing about that clip is how nobody at that party sees those two boys and their laser beam eyes. They're just bopping along completely oblivious to this high end romance.

lightsandlostbells: After everyone's finished dancing, Even is just standing there dead-on staring at Isak like he wants to kiss him or slowly murder him and everyone's just puttering around trying to find their phones or w/e.

Ghostcat: True, and then Isak shoots that over the shoulder look in the kitchen and Even is like: 👀

lightsandlostbells: The IsakxEven account on Twitter was still uploading the full clips to YouTube at the time. So I watched that clip, was immediately hooked, and then went back and watched the rest of S3 to that point. By reading the comments, I was able to figure out how the show worked, its real time structure, social media, etc. And then the first clip I saw in real time was the pool scene.

Ghostcat: WOW. What a great clip to see in real time. When we watched it with our newbies, they were all yelling. So genuinely happy for this fictional boy.

lightsandlostbells: THAT WHOLE DAY. I was refreshing the Skam webpage for updates. Because I knewwwwww they were going to finally kiss, for real.

Ghostcat: THIS WAS IT. IT WAS HAPPENING. It made sense that they'd kiss. It was the thing that needed to happen but going into their hell-double date, I was genuinely wondering...how. Good ole Even and his lack of chill.

lightsandlostbells: It definitely did. I remember sitting there watching as they got to the Head over Heels bike ride and my heart was just FLUTTERING. I was vicariously swooning through this epic teen romance.

Ghostcat: It is such a swoon-inspiring moment. The music cue is perfect.

lightsandlostbells: I was also watching in unsubtitled Norwegian.

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha! Really??? So you were filling in the blanks HARD.

lightsandlostbells: Yep! That was my whole S3 (and S4) experience. But it was great in a way because I was able to focus entirely on the acting, reading Tarjei and Henrik's microexpressions. I've mentioned before that I was able to tell Even was having a manic episode from the episode 8 kitchen scene by the acting alone, before I had subtitles.

Ghostcat: Really? We're gonna come back to that. Luckily for us, and I really do think this is an enormous part of SKAM's international appeal, both Henrik and Tarjei are wonderful when it comes to non-verbal acting.

lightsandlostbells: They're amazing. I remember when I wrote the recap for that clip, I had to watch several different times because SO MUCH is happening in that scene - with Isak, with Even, with Isak-and-Even, and also with Sonja and Emma.

Ghostcat: What did you think happened on your first watch without subs?

lightsandlostbells: In the pool/bike/double date from hell scene, I thought maybe Sonja just broke up with Even right then and there.

Ghostcat: Well, it does look that way. That entire scene is a gem of silent movie acting too. Isak on the couch and the five billion ways he has of looking around, looking away, looking directly at. All while winsomely sitting there in the costume Emma put together for him.

lightsandlostbells: I just thought Sonja got sick of dealing with Even and called it off right there, lol. The Norwegian kinda sounds like "We're done" in English which is what put the idea in my head.

Ghostcat: Ha! What did you think when you found out it wasn't quite that simple? Were you like I THOUGHT HE DUMPED HER?

lightsandlostbells: Yes, I had a bit of a grumble.

Ghostcat: Sonja and Emma are having this whole socially appropriate interaction while Even growls softly into his beer (I have such a thing for Even's seething in this scene, it's so overt and we've never seen him do that before.)

lightsandlostbells: Sonja's dialogue there is actually pretty revealing for her character, although you don't really understand until later.

Ghostcat: In what way? *chin hands*

lightsandlostbells: Even is not concealing his real feelings at all, and he's trying to get a silent conversation with Isak happening, and Isak's a bit too skittish to reciprocate.

Ghostcat: Isak is almost afraid to look at him directly but he keeps sneaking looks like he's taking sips of Even and then immediately glancing away. In gifsets, you can always spot the moment his gaze lands on Even and away.

etal: (all while in fancy dress too)

lightsandlostbells: So admittedly a lot of this is headcanon/conjecture, but Sonja is talking to Emma about how she's bored and misses having things to do during the day. It makes me think that just as Even relies on Sonja and sees her as a source of stability, in some ways Even is that for Sonja, too.

Ghostcat: Clearly, Sonia misses structure too. Also on the headcanon tip, but it makes me think about how Sonja's university trajectory was also diverted probably by Even's suicide attempt.

lightsandlostbells: Yes! Taking care of Even brings a sense of purpose to her life. We know from a previous clip she's working a crappy retail job that probably isn't very satisfying.

Ghostcat: That idea kind of piles on to Even's complicated feelings about dumping her.

lightsandlostbells: That's a good point! I've wondered about Sonja and university because it sounds like she isn't in school from her conversation with Emma.

Ghostcat: She's not and she definitely comes across as a driven, organized person which is why it surprised me that she wasn't.

etal: (She is, in a way unbalanced, even though she has both her legs.)

Ghostcat: Ha! Yes. It's a complex, thorny situation between the two of them. So much more than just a simple obstacle.

lightsandlostbells: One thing I appreciate about season 3 is that it really shows you why Even and Sonja need to break up without demonizing either of them.

Ghostcat: It's brilliant! It's very hard to do. Andem did a little bit of that with Jonas and Eva, but here, I think it's very high stakes. Was their troubled relationship something that you kind of understood on a surface level on first watch but deepened upon rewatch? It was for me, on first watch, I definitely knew they were wrong for one another, but upon rewatch it felt so much sadder. She's not the obstacle people think she is.

lightsandlostbells: It really is. Season 3 in general develops such high stakes beyond just "will this cute boy get with the other cute boy" and while it'd still be wonderful as a sweet romance, it ends up feeling downright profound by the end. Definitely deepened upon rewatch.

Ghostcat: Andem doesn't skimp on emotional truth with these characters. People don't do things arbitrarily. They all have their reasons for doing what they do. And it's not entirely in the service of a plotline the way it often seems in scripted drama.

lightsandlostbells: She's definitely not a shallow obstacle to be disposed of. Sonja represents Even's larger struggle, as well as being her own person, of course. If I can get into S4 here - I think this is why the conflict works so well with Even and Sonja versus a somewhat similar love triangle-type conflict with the Sana/Yousef/Noora situation. Which doesn't work for me nearly as well.

Ghostcat: Yeah, that didn't work so well. Andem needed Yousef to "give up" on Sana and hook up with someone else BUT it didn't match the character or how his feelings for Sana had been portrayed. The plot demanded it, but the characters didn't agree.

lightsandlostbells: Because once Even breaks up with Sonja, there's still the larger issue of mental illness that he and Isak need to face together. The problem really isn't Sonja's presence, after all. But with Sana/Yousef/Noora, the "conflict" really hinges on miscommunication and a simple 5-second conversation would have saved weeks of drama. It's over as soon as Noora tells Sana the truth. It's not a complex conflict.

Ghostcat: No. Not at all.

lightsandlostbells: Yeah, it was a case of the plot demanding the characters act a certain way instead of feeling organic. Also demanding that no one talk to each other for weeks...

Ghostcat: On rewatch, what was the first big thing you noticed about the structure that made you go, WOW, they did that. Mine was Even's flippant little "Did you think I died?"

lightsandlostbells: Yes, that was huge. I think the pool scene and the subsequent cuddle scene are packed with little moments like that.

Ghostcat: It's handled very deftly. His comment is so throwaway, it could be an improv BUT IT ISN'T and that's bolstered by Even's comments during the I'm Not in Love scene.

lightsandlostbells: Also earlier in the scene, when Sonja reveals that she's graduated. They leave it to you and Isak to connect the dots…hmmm, they're the same age but Even hasn't graduated yet? Wonder why. And then they just move on before you can think about it too much

Ghostcat: And Isak was going to ask Even why he transferred as a senior in Lykke til Isak. But they're interrupted by Emma.

lightsandlostbells: Yep, that too.

Ghostcat: The thing is Isak has been set up from season one as an observant guy.

lightsandlostbells: Emma literally plants herself between them...

Ghostcat: So he's trying to piece things together because he genuinely wants to know Even but Even is very good at diverting his pesky feelings. It made me wonder how Andem decided to spread out those clues and when and why?

lightsandlostbells: That happens all throughout the season. Another big hint you only notice on rewatch: Sonja's aluminum leg.

Ghostcat: Yes and the realization, when you look at the social media, of how often Even tries to communicate indirectly with songs and quotes and references.

lightsandlostbells: That was probably one of the biggest. Because it works so well in character, as Even being this weird quirky guy, spinning this wild story for a laugh, and only later do you realize he was genuinely trying to communicate with Isak. IT'S SO GOOD.

Ghostcat: So good.

lightsandlostbells: That's such a sharp character detail! (The songs and quotes and references).

Ghostcat: Particularly when you loop it with "I saw you on the first day of school" because it recasts nearly everything he says to Isak, not just because we know he had feelings but because now we know he had time to think about what he would say to him and of course, how he would present himself, at his best (cough that deliberate courtyard walk).

lightsandlostbells: Oh yes, "I saw you the first day of school" is absolutely a killer moment. Totally makes you want to rewatch the whole season.

Ghostcat: AND IT WORKS. it's no retcon!! that's what makes it so good.

lightsandlostbells: Even really does treat his life like a movie! Specifically a romantic comedy where he is the star. The paper towels are his version of a Meet Cute

Ghostcat: His love even gets the beauty close-ups in the stoney hang. The other thing that became apparent to me was how on rewatching, Even's influence felt bigger.

lightsandlostbells: It's alllll over the season.

Ghostcat: Yes! I muddled it all up in my head. I hadn't realized that Isak hadn't seen R+J yet.

lightsandlostbells: I mean, from the moment he mentions Baz Luhrmann, and we bring R+J into the picture, that shapes so much of the season.

Ghostcat: But there's Even, doing his best DiCaps Romeo look to camera/Isak. His idea, his framing, his choice of song.

lightsandlostbells: And I was lucky enough to watch from episode 5 onward in real time, and despite all the cuteness and romance, there was this level of dread hanging over everything all the time, because I was expecting the R+J focus to pay off later.

Ghostcat: It's meant to be there. You're meant to feel it

lightsandlostbells: And it does! Just not in the way everyone was fearing

Ghostcat: Using Luhrmann's R+J as the central motif works spectacularly and it's not the first time it comes up!

lightsandlostbells: Yeah, I mentioned in a recap that Isak hadn't watched R+J by the time Even does his alluring courtyard walk to Talk Show Host, so it almost comes across as Even's POV when you make the connection to the film.

Ghostcat: Andem tried to use it in season two with Noora and William in front of a fish tank but it doesn't resonate.

lightsandlostbells: Oh yeah...them.

Ghostcat: Here she brings it back and it makes sense.

lightsandlostbells: Not to get into Noorhelm but parts of S3 feel like course correction with regards to the development of the love interest and relationship.

Ghostcat: I agree. The biggest correction being a couple that actually likes each other.

lightsandlostbells: Yep!

Ghostcat: That's one way to kick things off in the right direction.

lightsandlostbells: And Even has so many interests and hobbies compared to William.

Ghostcat: Even is so different from Isak and yet he DELIGHTS in those differences. Neither of them is trying to change the other. Their differences complement one another.

lightsandlostbells: It honestly is amazing how Evak just works so well as a ship, in all directions. Like, I've tried to break that pairing down into words, and I just fail, every time, because it's got so much going for it.

Ghostcat: Back to R+J as a framing device: Even is a film student > Luhrmann is his favorite > he mentions his love of tragic romance > he sets up that pool kiss > he talks about death and loss > he's fearful of change and yet seemingly absolutely certain of his feelings for Isak. For whatever reason, we know he thinks there's an element of the forbidden with his relationship with Isak and we're led to believe (mistakenly) that it's because he has a girlfriend, but really the forbidden is Even himself, who doesn't think he should have this.

@etal-late: I mean 👆

Ghostcat: By likening them to R+J, he believes their love is fated but impossible but he lets himself have it for a little while. All the clues stack up.

etal: 'The forbidden is Even' ouch yes.

Ghostcat: He's feeding them to us and Isak so that when Isak goes to the church and Nils Bech is up there singing and the neon cross is shining and the montage starts and ISAK FIGURES IT OUT. That run, paired with those strings, and that backward montage―

lightsandlostbells: Oh I'm so glad you brought up O Helga Natt, because that's where I was about to go with this, lol.

Ghostcat: ―hits like a ton of bricks. Suddenly all these little moments, them talking in bed, the kiss in the elevator are reframed in a new context. Their love becomes EPIC.

lightsandlostbells: YessssSSSSSSS (the part of this chat where I get incoherent has COMMENCED)

Ghostcat: And, as we find out at the end of the ep, it's NOT because someone dies. It's because of how real it is.

lightsandlostbells: So going back to what we were saying about Even communicating through notes/art/music: I think that's why Even's text in O Helga Natt is so effective. Because throughout the season, he's been dropping hints to his emotional state through his sketches and song lyrics, and we're like Isak, we're trying to piece it all together. With that text, Even finally lays out his true feelings in this vulnerable, direct manner. Then as soon as Isak connects the dots, all those clues in the season pay off. It was absolutely glorious to watch this in real time because I was dreading this would be a story about death. Instead, it became a story about rebirth.

Ghostcat: YES. Which ties into the story of Isak/Isaac in the Bible.

etal: Woah

Ghostcat: Lest we forget that Mamma has been doubling up on the indirect hints as well. Her texts are also clues.

lightsandlostbells: O Helga Natt is utter brilliance. I know everybody recognizes it's a masterpiece, but there are just so many things happening in it. It was difficult to write about for recaps because I didn't want to miss anything. I still feel like I did.

Ghostcat: Because things continually reveal themselves about it.

lightsandlostbells: Yeah, Mamma even mentions baptism like immediately before the clip, lmao.

Ghostcat: Yeah! It’s oh so spectacularly specific but never labored.

@modestytreehouse: My god she does.

Ghostcat: It feels like a gift.

lightsandlostbells: The pool scene and O Helga Natt are mirrors of each other and I think that's such a testament to Julie Andem's mastery of structure. (Also the cuddle scene and Minutt for minutt are mirrors. Lots of scenes in S3 are mirrors to each other.)

Ghostcat: The symmetry of this season is spectacular. Even with the most throwaway nonsense.

lightsandlostbells: I'm a huge sucker for symmetry and it's all over the place in S3.

Ghostcat: Like Magnus and that cat tongue girl.

lightsandlostbells: Yep!

Ghostcat: Ending the season by making out with a meowing Vilde.

lightsandlostbells: The dance chicks: starts with Isak being alienated from his friends as they drool over hot chicks. They come back so Isak can confidently reject them, in a scene where he also talks about which of his male friends he'd bang.

Ghostcat: I remember watching it and saying out loud OH MY GOD, EVEN CAT HOOKER PAID OFF.

treehouse: (21.21)

Ghostcat: Sana and the 10%. Isak being unable to say a guy is hot

lightsandlostbells: That's such a nice little Christmas bow, lol.

Ghostcat: --to telling his boyfriend exactly that. Avoiding his parents/reuniting with his parents and about to meet Even’s. A party where he’s off in another room pretending. A party where he’s in another room being as real as can be. Lying to truth-telling.

lightsandlostbells: Isak putting on a fake persona to flirt with Emma at her locker about "the asshole" to Isak being himself with her and bringing back "the asshole" comment in episode 10.

Ghostcat: Yes! Everything is suitably rounded upon. It is airtight.

lightsandlostbells: Except the girls who were hungover on a Wednesday.

Ghostcat: They're still hungover, it's four years later. Still fucked up (we are those girls). [Mod note: it’s five years later, we are still those Hungover Wednesday girls]

lightsandlostbells: They might want to pop a vitamin IDK. Lol yes, Julie Andem had a plan for them all along! They were symbolic representations of the audience.

Ghostcat: Ha ha ha.

lightsandlostbells: When I think about S3 I physically manifest into that Ben Affleck smoking gif.

Ghostcat: All this talk of perfection leads me to the final question in this section of our conversation…you know what's coming.

lightsandlostbells: Oh, and the representations of time in S3 also have payoff!

Ghostcat: We didn't get there!

lightsandlostbells: From big talk of "forever" and "infinite time" to "minutt by minutt" and "now" (Sorry)

Ghostcat: Oops. Ha ha ha. But yes! Also important, along with the numbers nudging us along, all that very deliberate time, BUT this is big talk so let me dumb things down with the following question―what is your interpretation of the following emoji hieroglyphics: ❤️ 🐬 🌞 🍆 💯

lightsandlostbells: "Isak, I love you so much and also you make me horny as Flipper. The sun shines out of your dick. Full marks."

Ghostcat: Excellent.

lightsandlostbells: Aren't dolphins notoriously horny in real life? I'm not a marine biologist.

Ghostcat: I am and it’s true, they are famously horny and pansexual as well!

lightsandlostbells: JULIE ANDEM DOING IT AGAIN.

Ghostcat: I'm not actually a marine biologist, but I couldn't resist…the symmetry. :sunglasses emoji:

___

Thank you so much for reading these interviews! I will post a master post of links to all of these if you feel like nerding out at your leisure.

Thank you again to all of our interview participants! You were very kind to say yes.

Last but not least, thank you to our first watch crew for agreeing to go on this little ride back in 2019. We hope you enjoyed watching SKAM with us. 💗

#SKAM #SKAM season 3 talkback interviews #lightsandlostbells #Isak Valtersen #even bech næsheim #SKAM meta #SKAM season 3 #Julie Andem #there is a wonderful second half of this interview where we discuss remakes of season 3 #in a purely structural way #but out of respect to fans of those remake seasons we'll keep it inside baseball #skams3rewatch2020

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jeonjeonggukenergy · 5 years ago

Text

May 31

summary ~ on the last day of your senior year living together, you're still fighting your feelings for your roommate jungkook. before you can fully move out and move on, he makes a pretty significant scheduling error. #and there was only one bed

genre ~ fluff, smut / roommate!au, college!au, bit of crack/fake texts

wordcount ~ 5k

warnings ~ smut (18+), blowjob (oral: m receiving), nipple play, marking, penetrative sex, cumplay (sort of oral: f receiving), jungkook just goes hard as expected BUT IT'S SOFT? this is just super cheesy and cute with some hopefully hot smut

a/n ~ surprise oneshot! and they were roommates? and there was only one bed? this is all my fave tropes wrapped into one, i had a ton of fun writing it and i hope yall enjoy :')

~ read on ao3 ~

You walked up to your apartment door just as a boy from the class below you walked out—with a wave, a "see ya, Jungkook!" and what appeared to be the last piece of your roommate's bedframe.

"You...sold...your bed?"

"Well, sort of. I borrowed it from that guy for the year while he was studying abroad. So now I'm giving it back to him. Since I'm staying in the city for my new job, though, I wish I could have just kept it. Now I have to actually buy one," Jungkook lamented.

"I mean, okay, but why didn't you just wait to give it back tomorrow when we move out?"

"What do you mean? Today's move-out day. I was just waiting for my brother to get off work to help get all my stuff out of here. I was kind of wondering why you hadn't packed up more, but you've always waited til the last minute to pack for things." Jungkook grinned, recalling your friend group’s spring break trip.

Momentarily distracted by his dig, you defended yourself quickly before returning to the subject. "Hey! At least I always get it done in the end. Better than packing too soon and accidentally giving away your bed a day early. Your new lease doesn't let you move in til the first day of June, right? It's May 31st."

Jungkook's pretty doe eyes went comically wide. "31st? There is no May 31st. It's June 1st. Because yesterday was May 30th. Right?"

"Oh my gosh. You're joking. You have to be joking," you tried not to laugh as you pulled up your Google calendar. "Here, look," you turned the phone around to him. "May 31st."

"Shit," he breathed, pushing the soft shock of hair back from his frozen face. "What did I do?"

You took your phone back, already distracted by your texts as you reassured him. "Don't worry, it’s funny but it's no big deal, I'm just messing with you. You can sleep on the couch for tonight, you'll be fine."

Jungkook grabbed your wrist, making you look up from your screen in surprise. In sitcom-esque slow motion, he swiveled his head sideways and you followed his gaze to the living room, realizing—

"The couch was his too. I gave it back."

"Oh my gosh," you muttered, shaking your head down with a smile. Feeling a little braver on your last full day as roommates, you finally gave Jungkook the warning that had almost slipped out plenty of times over the year. "Jungkookie...you're really lucky you're so cute. Otherwise you wouldn't get away with nearly as much as you do in life.”

"I..." Jungkook dropped your hand, grinning at the usual nickname but unsure how to take the half-compliment. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I forgot about a whole day, I usually double-check my calendar. I can just take the floor for tonight, I guess? I'll go unpack my blanket again. Sorry, I don't want to be an inconvenience."

"No, no," you cut him off—against your better judgment, but determined to ignore your superficial attraction to him to be a good friend and roommate. "Don't be ridiculous, just sleep in my bed. I mean, if that's okay with you of course. It'll definitely be more comfortable than the floor." He nodded rapidly, eyes still wide but mouth perfectly flatlined like an emoji. "Okay then. No worries. Let's eat, I got us takeout for our last night but it's getting cold."

At the mention of food, Jungkook made a beeline for the plastic bags hanging on your arm, and soon you were back to normal—well, sort of. Eating slightly reheated noodles on the living room floor instead of the couch, you giggled over one last Friday night K-drama episode together and reminisced over all the best memories from your year as roommates. You missed the coziness of your couch more than you thought you might, or maybe you just missed the snuggles you'd shared in its corner on countless nights like this one.

Jungkook had always been cutely touchy with his close friends, but it had taken a while for you two to get comfortable. You had to admit you'd gotten spooked when you first met him, disappearing behind your door after a quick "hi, nice to meet you!" and furiously texting your friend and former roommate Jin in distress. He hadn't warned you the new guy he'd found for your apartment was, in your own words, "stupid hot." Jin had laughed you off, saying it hadn't even occurred to him because he just saw his former soccer teammate "JK" as a kid. To be fair, it probably truly had slipped Jin's notice—he barely believed anyone who told him how objectively attractive he was. But Jin was a good enough friend to both you and Jungkook that he took charge of dissolving the initial tension, immediately bringing y'all over for a "double housewarming" dinner party at the cute new place he now shared with his fiancée. (Thank goodness he'd finally listened when you'd told him she found him attractive. Even if it cost you a roommate of two years, you'd happily take credit for that relationship.) That first invitation had felt suspiciously like a double date, but Jin's cooking and hosting skills broke the ice nicely enough. After that, it only took a few more dinners and video game nights to initiate you into their casual rhythm of hair ruffles and backhugs.

Currently, Jungkook had his arm around you to offer a neck rub while you rested your head on his shoulder, hoping he couldn't feel your pulse beneath his fingers. "Ah, you're going so hard," you half-protested.

"I always go this hard! You never complain," he shot back with a teasing grin.

"Nah, come on, you're gonna leave a mark or something. At least check," you lifted your head, sweeping your hair aside. "Is it all red like Jin always gets?" you joked.

Facing away, you had no way of seeing it, but Jungkook's face had gone red too. "Uh...no, it's fine, it's fine." He glanced back to the TV and turned it off, noticing the episode had ended. "Sorry though, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm gonna go shower and get ready for bed."

"Hey, no, it's okay!" You tugged on his shirt as he got up, wanting to reverse whatever you’d done to make him seem so uneasy. "I'm not actually hurt or mad at you or anything, I was just messing with you. Again." You smiled lightheartedly, and his face broke into a soft nose-scrunch at the reassurance.

"Okay, good. I was gonna shower anyway though—so uh, see you in bed I guess?"

"Yeah same, see you in bed," you laughed, trying to maintain the ease in your facial expression until the moment he left the room, upon which your internal monologue immediately turned into "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

You couldn't help thinking about Jungkook in the shower. And not even in the usual way that you couldn't help thinking about Jungkook, in the shower. As much as you hated to admit it, Jin was probably right about your feelings for your sweet, dorky roommate going beyond just physical attraction, or friendship. Jungkook was kind, respectful, smart, athletic, artistic, funny, really hot, and you already got along well enough to live together: he really was the ultimate boyfriend material. You were both pleasantly moderate introverts. He shared your same favorite dramas and brand of instant ramen. Even your parents loved him—wait, did they want you to date him too? A strict follower of every social rule that dictated not dating roommates, coworkers, best friends' exes, exes' best friends, etc., you had simply never allowed yourself to consider the possibility until now. You played back your conversations with Jin over the year and considered the sheer amount of the funny stories you told him, or situations where you asked for his advice, or surprises he'd helped you plan, or simply glowing, grinning descriptions of something new you'd noticed, that all ended up being about Jungkook. He'd never even had to bring him up. Damn Jin for being such a good listener.

Almost an hour later, when you were already in bed, Jungkook politely knocked on your door. He always took long showers, and tonight you couldn't decide whether you were thankful for the extra time to prepare yourself or even more stressed from the extra time to overthink.

"Come in," you called quietly. Jungkook shuffled into your room, toe-socked feet making their way to the side of the bed you'd rolled over to clear for him. Cautious, he climbed in, and you stayed safely facing away from each other for a while, winding down for the night on your phones like you both normally did in your separate rooms. So spaced out that you couldn't even detect Jungkook's additional body heat, you felt the chill of the air conditioning instead and kept adjusting the blankets to try and achieve maximum insulation.

Jungkook eventually spoke his first words since he'd entered. "Am I hogging the covers? I'm sorry."

"Oh no, you're totally fine, if anything I'm taking up more than you. I'm just always cold, so I usually sleep in, like, a three-layered burrito. But it's fine! Really, no worries."

To your surprise, Jungkook rolled over, propping his head up on an elbow to look at you. "Well...I...we could..." he started, swallowing when you turned to face him. "I mean, you could wear socks! Like I do!" He pulled a foot out from under the sheets and presented it to your face, cackling.

"I think the fuck not," you snorted, shoving the foot away and falling slightly on top of him as you both lost your balance in giggles. "You couldn't catch me dead in your weird-ass socks."

"That's the secret, though!" he insisted. "That's how I stay warm."

"You are warm," you realized. One of your hands had ended up on his chest, the other arm tucked in the side of his torso, and both were burning up. You supposed you'd settled into similar positions on the couch before but you'd never noticed just how much of a human furnace he was. Maybe it was because he hadn't been wearing his toe socks.

Neither of you said anything for a second. You could feel his heart beating at a slightly elevated but respectable rate, and while you wanted to pull away, if only to spare your own nerves, you also...didn't. You were too scared to stay like this, but too scared to move too. Jungkook seemed similarly stuck, blinking down at your hand on his chest, but eventually he unfroze to reach over it and drag you fully onto him by your shoulder. You simply let him handle you, not making any additional moves but silently enjoying the heat he seemed happy to provide. His hand spread over your back to press your torso to his, radiating heat through your thin t-shirt, and you suddenly grew self-conscious that you were braless. But of course you were, who wears a bra to bed? You were fine. This was fine.

"Are you okay? Is this warmer?" Jungkook asked, as gentle as his touch.

"Yeah! Yeah, this is fine," you responded, the answer muffled by your mouth's placement all too near to his neck. You could sense the heat coming off his skin from there too, but it contrasted with the mild coolness of his still-damp hair. It smelled faintly of floral shampoo, and the scent suddenly amplified all your nerves as the implications of how close he was hit you from head to toe. Even the soft fuzz of his socks brushed your bare legs, now intertwined with his. You weren't exactly small, but the warm solidity of Jungkook’s body under you made you feel fully enveloped by him. Though he'd shared a fair amount of skin with you through the course of your friendship, the intimacy of sharing your bed took every touch to another level, and being pressed so flush against him felt unbearable. You couldn't possibly process a whole year of pure pent-up physical attraction right now, much less any other feelings that may or may not have grown with it, especially when you knew he had no reason to feel anything back. And you were roommates. You just needed to sleep it off and then you could both move, and move on, in peace. Hopefully the odds of ever being stuck in a bed with Jungkook again would go way down after tonight.

Not bothering to get up and turn off the weak string of lights above your headboard, you just slowed your breathing and attempted to drift off to sleep. Pretending the deeper breaths weren't so you could get a better whiff of his soft, flowery hair, you laid still for several minutes, successfully ignoring your body's instinctual response.

Eventually, though, it became impossible to ignore his.

Jungkook wasn't that hard, okay. He wasn't a teenager; he thought he could control himself around you enough by now that he could just enjoy this last night without giving anything away. He almost felt bad when you invited him into your bed, sensing your reluctance and knowing it was his own fault that you'd had to offer in the first place. But he knew you wouldn't have asked if you weren't truly okay with it, and that confidence gave him the tiniest swell of hope that maybe you were a little bit more than okay. While Jin refused to give away any real insight into what you thought of him, he'd been teasing Jungkook for six months about his crush on you, eventually convincing him to try making your friendship into more once you both graduated and moved on to different roommates. He had just been planning to bring it up in a much better way than the semi that you could definitely feel against your thigh. You had both been silent about it for over five minutes, though, long enough that he could cross his fingers that you were already asleep. He probably didn't have to worry about a thing.

"Jungkook?"

You had finally worked up the courage to stop pretending you’d fallen asleep. You felt him freeze up under you—the defined abs that covered his tiny waist tightening, solid chest muscles contracting, and his thighs tensing to trap yours between them, all at once. You froze too, attempting to speak again but no sound coming out.

"_____, guess what!" he blurted to cut you off. Which was good, because you had absolutely zero plans for what to say after that.

"What?"

"It's after midnight," he said, jolting up to point to the digital clock on your side table. "It really is the first day of June now. So, according to the lease, we're officially no longer roommates. Crazy!"

"I mean...yeah," you affirmed, confused. "But also, we're literally sharing a bed right now. In the same room. So until that changes, I would probably still call us roommates." A little too amused by your own clapback, you raised your head to peek into his wide eyes and smiled, a big one that scrunched up your whole face.

And his dick twitched. Yeah, there was no way you could not notice that.

Before you could even finish your gasp, Jungkook spoke again. "I like you. I'm sorry. I like you. I didn't want to say anything while we were roommates because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, and I definitely didn't mean for this to happen, I'm sorry. You can totally not like me back and it's fine. I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to tell you like this, I just...I like you. A lot."

Shocked into silence for a second, but galvanized by his unnecessary apology, you responded without thinking for once. "Don't say sorry. You don't need to apologize, it's okay. Oh my gosh, I had no idea. I really had no idea. I, uh, I think I like you too? Shit, okay, I thought you were really hot from, like, the day you moved in, and eventually it became more than that but I didn't want to make anything weird because, yeah, we’re roommates, so I pretty much tried to ignore it all year. But then Jin made me realize that you're basically all I think about—or talk to him about, shit, I must have been so annoying—"

"Jin? JIN?" Jungkook grabbed his phone from the side table and wasted no time in blasting off the last meme in his camera roll. You propped yourself up in his arms, both giggling at Jin's quick shot back.

Looking at him now, a big cheesy smile on his face even as he stirred under you, still a little hard, you nodded as if fully understanding for the first time. "Yeah. I like you too."

As he set down his phone and brought his hand around your back again, his smile faded into a smirk. "Wow."

"Yeah...wow," you echoed, nervous and awkward again. You felt your face grow warmer as he looked slowly to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes.

"Can I kiss you?"

Blinking, you shifted your weight back down onto him, bringing your face close enough to hear his intake of breath as your hips brushed his dick. "Can you do more than that?"

"Fuck," he whispered. "Yes."

Jungkook snaked one arm down to your ass and one arm up your back to the nape of your neck, holding you close as he kissed you for the first time, fiercely. He didn't waste another minute hesitating now that he knew you had both wanted this for a year. Passionate but not aggressive, he teased the seam of your mouth with the tip of his tongue and you instantly opened for him, gliding your tongue over his smooth bottom lip as his flicked up to the sensitive roof of your mouth. Squeezing your ass to guide your hips down in small circles against him, he tensed his other hand slightly into your hair and you moaned at the competing sensations. Jungkook broke away to absorb every beautiful noise you made as he discovered you, heavy eyes finding yours before he rolled over to pin you to the bed and bury his face in your neck. He smiled into your skin when you moaned again from the satisfying pressure of his full body over you, and carefully rolled his hips into yours as he covered your jawline in tender kisses. One of your hands carved through his thick hair. As you dug the fingertips of your other hand into his prominent back muscles, you suddenly realized you were both still fully clothed and you really, really did not want him to be. Tugging his t-shirt over his head and throwing it aside, you paused before letting him do the same.

"Wait. Take off your socks. I can't believe I didn't make you do that before any of this. I really just almost had sex with someone wearing toe socks. Kill me," you whined over-dramatically.

"Come on, that would have been hilarious. What a first-time story!" Jungkook said earnestly. "Sure you don't want me to leave them on?"

"Please take them off. Please," you only half-jokingly begged.

"You wanna take 'em off for me?" he teased, wiggling a foot in front of you.

"Fine, whatever it takes!" You flung his sock across the room, reaching for his other foot below the covers to get rid of the other one.

He fell on top of you, giggling again, but as soon as you shut him up with your lips he snapped out of it, eagerly deepening the kiss while his warm hands traveled up under your shirt. Smoothing over the curves of your torso and reaching up to firmly grasp your breasts, he moaned into you and you whined back as his thumbs brushed your hardening nipples. He was incredibly physically precise, each movement graceful yet sharp and intentional. You felt deeply lucky to experience this dimension of him, the most perfect and natural expression of his contradictory nature. Equally loving, giving, overachieving, and sensual—with a side of weird socks and Gen Z meme literacy—that was your Jungkook.

"I can't believe this is happening," Jungkook murmured as he pulled your shirt over your head. "I can't believe I get to see you like this. You're so—ohhh." He trailed off, taking in the fully naked glory of your top half for the first time. His head immediately ducked to your chest, sucking dark bruises into the low-lit hollow of your breasts. You squirmed under his hold on the dip of your waist, whimpering, but the grip of your hands in his shiny black locks let him know you didn't really want him to stop. Grinding against his now rock-hard dick, you eventually couldn't take the friction anymore and reached down to try and pull off both of your pajama pants at the same time. Jungkook just laughed.

He paused to help you out, rolling off of you to take care of his own sweatpants, and you kicked off your pajama pants and underwear as Jungkook slowly let his erection spring free above his waistband. You'd never thought a dick could be pretty before, but it honestly made sense that his would be as perfect as the rest of his body. "Fuck," you swore softly, mouth watering. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you, and you scrambled to lick the tip as if on instinct, eliciting a much more emphatic "Fuuuuuck!" from him. He spread his legs to let you crawl between them, holding tenuous eye contact as you smirked at his sensitivity. Teasing a single finger up his shaft, you followed its path with your tongue and he let out a deliciously high, shaky moan.

"Please," Jungkook choked out when you approached him, lips pursed. He praised you breathlessly as you tightened a hand around his length and began to sink down. "You feel so good already. Fuck." Closing your eyes, you hollowed your cheeks to accommodate his generous size and dipped your head, sucking him in as far as you could go. He was so responsive, you learned what he liked quickly, and savored each whimper as you stroked his balls gently or swirled your tongue over his slit. You licked all the way from his head to the base and he cried out. Bringing a hand to the back of your head, he didn't quite hold you down, leaving enough slack for you to move if you wanted to, but you submitted to his touch and stayed a second with nearly his whole length in your mouth. And then you swallowed.

"Stop! Stop, please, or I'll cum." He pulled you off by your hair, bringing your forehead to his as you realigned your bodies. "You're so good for me," he professed warmly. "I wanna be good for you."

"Then fuck me," you surprised him by answering bluntly. "Please, I want you so bad."

Jungkook groaned, arching his hips up against you and coating his dick in your wetness. Bringing himself back under control, he pinned you under his thighs and reached down to open you up with a finger. You felt so much more relaxed with him than you had with any previous boyfriend or hookup, and he slid into your entrance fairly easily. You moaned right away when he brushed his thumb over your clit, and he responded with a muttered "Fuck it, you’re so wet already," pulling his finger out and stroking it up your folds as he lined up.

"You're on the pill, right? For your periods," he confirmed.

"Yeah, of course. You really think I'd let you hit it raw otherwise?" you shot back teasingly, trying to hide how touched you were that he remembered from a few months ago, when he'd driven you to pick up your prescription since your car was in the shop. That was your Jungkook.

"No," he said sheepishly. "You're smart."

You smiled up at him fondly, ruffling his hair. "You're smart too. And sweet. And hot. And your dick is enormous. It's kind of unfair."

"Unfair!" he protested. "How can I be unfair when you're perfect?"

"Perfect? Shut up," you dismissed him. "Now I know you're lying. You cheeseball."

"I'm not lying! You're perfect for me."

"Oh, so you're just a hopeless romantic. Where did that come from? What am I getting into?" you fussed playfully.

"Okay, we can make fun of each other later, like always, but right now can I just get into you?" Jungkook pleaded, directing you back to the task at hand.

"Oh my gosh. I can't believe this, you're worse than Jin. That was actually pretty impressive—" Surprised, you half-laughed, half-admired his wordplay, but were silenced by both his lips and his first few inches gliding into you.

Not yet breaking your kiss, just absorbing your moans into his mouth as he stretched you out, Jungkook eased himself all the way in. He drank in every detail of your body's response to keep careful track of your comfort. You tilted your ass up against him, absorbing the fullness of his big dick immersed in your walls, and he froze. "Pretty impressive?" he whispered.

"Jungkook," you breathed back in pure pleasure, too overwhelmed to sass back.

"Can I move?" he asked sweetly.

"Fuck. Yes."

Jungkook's brows narrowed as his eyes turned darker, and he snapped his hips up into yours once, twice, before setting a fierce pace that had you crying out with each stroke. He hadn't lost touch on your clit the whole time, and he began to circle his fingers to pleasure you there too, building up an almost unbearable tension throughout your whole body.

"Fuck...fuck! Jungkook!" you chanted. His eyes overcame their fluttering to meet yours. Jungkook stilled, then ground down on you in one big, slow, circle, drinking in your blissed-out expression.

"Harder?" he whispered. Jungkook loved a challenge.

"Sure, harder. Why the fuck not," you keened, high-pitched and desperate. He could split you in half at this point, leave you unable to walk for days, and you'd love it.

Jungkook made a small, delighted noise at your eagerness, kissing you quickly before flipping you over and positioning you on all fours, sheathing himself in you again. He ran his hands along your torso to clutch your breasts from underneath, holding himself up against you with solely the strength of his thighs and his core. Pulsing his hips into you carefully, slowly, to let you get used to the deeper angle, his fingertips skimmed your nipples tantalizingly, warming you further. He dropped one hand to prop himself up and slowly traveled the other down to your center. The lustful, elated exhale you let out when he rubbed your clit made him snap his hips forward, tilting you into the bed before you could engage your thighs to push back against his. Your continuous moans encouraged him that you were enjoying this just as much as him, loving how he remained fully attentive to your pleasure while pounding into you to pursue his own high. He fucked you like a high-intensity workout, pushing his unreasonably built body to its limits of speed and strength. You couldn't help wishing you'd taken him up on more of his offers to hit the gym together, but he seemed to get off on your breathlessness, wanting to give you his all and push you past your limits too. His fingers working as quickly as his hips, heat swelled up inside you, and when you felt sure that the tension in your core was about to break, you turned your head to cry out to him.

"Jungkookie, Jungkook—nhngh, I'm gonna cum."

"Ahhhh," he moaned. "Me too, _____. You feel so amazing, ahh—you're so perfect for me." The praise warmed your heart and your core, and soon you came around him with a long, drawn-out whine. He fucked you deep through each spasm, sending you into hot, heady overstimulation as he shuddered and emptied himself into you. When you finally collapsed under him, legs sore and shaking, he pulled out of you gently and lowered his lips to your lower lips with great care. Jungkook meticulously kissed from your swollen clit to your entrance, soft as a whisper, and you breathed out in overwhelmed bliss as his tongue emerged to tenderly nudge every drop of his cum into your opening. The gesture of aftercare, just as soothing as it was inexplicably hot, bloomed an affection within you that almost made your heart hurt. You rolled over, stretching your legs out, and he looked up at you from between them. His hair was a beautifully sweaty mess, and he smiled in sweet satisfaction with your wetness adorning his chin. That was your Jungkook.

"Don't go anywhere," he said softly, kneading your thighs with his hands.

"Well, I have to do the whole pee-after-sex thing. But after that, where would I go? There's only one bed in this apartment now," you couldn't help teasing.

"Hey! If I hadn't given away my bed, none of this would have happened," he complained cutely, pulling himself up to big-spoon you. “Just stay with me.”

"I will. I know," you murmured back. "And I'm so happy you did." You shifted back, closer against him, and he buried his face in your neck.

"You know, I was gonna miss being roommates so much," he said thoughtfully. "But I'm so okay with not being your roommate now if I get to be your...your..." He grinned into your shoulder, suddenly too shy to say it.

You turned to face him, holding his pink cheeks in both of your hands and kissing his nose. Knowing this would be just the first intimate moment of many made you both flush with an easy, sweet joy.

"My Jungkook. You're my Jungkook."

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